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wheninitalyy · 3 years

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France is no escape - part 1.

A/N : hey! I dont share my writing online very often but since I've been reading all the Benny Watts fanfics I could find, I thought I would post the one I wrote here. I tried to make this pretty gender neutral and I do not know anything about chess, I intend to do a bit of research eventually, but I wrote this solely for my love for the characters and the show (that I may watch again because I’m so obsessed).

This should be a multiple part story if I can motivate myself to continue writing. I’m also very new to Tumblr so I apologize if I'm just- messy.

Final thing! Writing is just a hobby of mine to write down all my thoughts so I apologize if my sentences are a bit messy or too long. Thank you for reading !

Click here for Part Two :]

Pairings : Benny Watts x Reader

Word count : 1865

Warnings : none :]

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“Well, shit,” Harry breathed as he resigned. A smile grew on my face as I leaned back in my chair, one foot on the seat with my leg pulled up against my chest and the other on the cold floor.

Harry was visiting me in little Rouen, France. He had become one of my closer friends even if he was hundreds of miles away.

Cleo, who I met through Benny, was in France for modeling often so I saw her quite a bit, but she wasn’t my home. She wasn’t chess obsessed like my friends were back in America.

Harry sighed as he checked his watch, I glanced over to him and already knew what was going through his head.

“Harry- you don’t have to leave. You could move in with me,” I told Harry, he smiled as he shook his head.

“You know I can’t do that- I’m lucky you’re paying for a flight for me every time I come to France. I couldn’t afford living here and wouldn’t fit in very well,”

He had a point; this wasn’t a place he would enjoy living his day-to-day life in. I got on just fine but learning the language to finding a new job would drive him mad... but I couldn’t help but offer, I was lonely here. I went from being in a relationship with a US Chess Champion in a little apartment in New York to being offered a whole photography career in France. I couldn’t turn this down, with my mother passing away a few months before, there was nothing keeping me in New York.

Heh... I wonder what mother would think of me living in a little apartment in Rouen.

She would likely ask me about the boys and restaurants, if I was making enough to buy elegant clothes and dance in the rain with strangers on late nights. I miss her.

“Hey? You okay Y/N?” Harry pulled me out of my thoughts,

I shook my head and laughed lightly, “Sorry, I was just thinking about when I lived in New York,” I half lied,

“New York? Back when you lived with the Benny Watts?” he asked me,

“Yes, when I lived with the Benny Watts,” I responded mocking the way he referred to Benny.

Benny Watts. The relationship with the US Chess Champion, but he wasn’t a trophy, he was very important to me at the time.

We were meant to stay in contact after I left for France, but days without calling turned into weeks, then months and eventually I don’t think either of us expected to hear from each other in any way other than reading the chess articles.

I buy a magazine when I see him on the cover, I flip through it for a bit but within the day it gets throw into the pile of magazines sat under my coffee table. He just climbed up the ladder of chess higher and higher after I left, it’s possible that Benny Watts getting romantically involved really was bad for him like the fan girls said.

I smiled at the thought.

I took a deep breath as I got up from my chair, “I assume it’s time for you to get going?” I looked to Harry. Harry gave me a sad smile and nodded.

Sunny Paris, another day, another twenty chess players to hunt down for some good cover photos. This wasn’t actually a very common thing, there was a tournament here in Paris. One of the biggest we’ve had in a while actually- this could very well be the talk of the town for quite a while.

“Hello Y/N Y/L!” the front desk receptionist greeted me with a bright smile.

“Big day, huh?” I said as rested my wrists on the counter fidgeting with a pen in my hand.

“Oh yes! your company must be thrilled about this one!” she said, I’ve talked to her enough to book a room here for the little chess tournaments (and sometimes big) to call her an acquaintance and maybe a bit more.

“Yep, it’s going to be a long weekend,” I laughed as I looked back to her,

“I heard they flew in a couple big players from America, anyone you know?” she asked as she looked up at me and slid my room-card over the counter to me.

“Oh? I haven’t checked who was coming in, I’m sure I know a couple of them though,” I smiled and slid the card into my pocket, dropping my pen in my bag as well.

“Well you have a nice morning and tell me if you need anything!” she smiled back,

“Thank you!” I waved to her goodbye and started to walk around the lobby.

One, two, ten chess tables lined up by the windows. The patterned carpet matched the drapes and the tables and chairs were a deep burgundy shade. Potted plants in every corner and little decorative ribbons hung from the ceiling, they really went all out this year.

The games didn’t start until tomorrow, not any important ones at least, so today would be the best day to strike on interviews and photos. I arrived early so people were only just arriving or settling in.

I sat down on a nearby sofa and pulled my camera out, fixing a few things here and there so I didn’t have to later.

After about 30 minutes, I heard a familiar voice, “Well that’s just pawns, there’s no hope there,” the man had an American accent.

I stood up and looked around for the man who I heard; I scanned the room until he spoke again. My eyes darted behind me as I quickly turned around, oh lord.

There he was, long black leather trench coat with a hat that anyone could recognize, tight dark jeans and a black t-shirt. I could almost call the chains around his neck sparkly if the sunrays hit them just right, a crowd around him at all times since he got here, I’d assume.

There he was, Benny Watts.

I was about to walk over knowing how much my company would love to see some shots of him, or maybe it was because he was an old friend... or an old lover.

I shook the thoughts out of my head as I put my camera back in my bag gently and brushed myself off.

I should go.

I stood up and begun to walk toward the elevator across the room, “Y/N!” someone shouted from behind me. I swiftly turned around to be met with Cleo.

“Cleo!” I greeted her, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m so glad I caught you before I had to leave! I have a job at eleven,” she paused as she looked over my shoulder. “Oh! have you said hello to Benny yet?” shit.

I turned around to be met with Benny’s gaze, he smiled as he stood up. Of course, his name being said would immediately catch his attention. I looked back to Cleo, there is no turning back, thank you for that Cleo.

I shut my eyes as I swore under my breath.

“Y/N?” Benny asked,

I forgot to breathe for a moment and let out a quiet exhale and turned around, “Ben- Mr. Watts,” I corrected myself as I would if I was on a job, which I was.

At this moment it seemed I had forgotten all my history with Benny while also remembering every detail.

He seemed taken aback by what I called him, “Why are you calling me that?” he smiled but his eyes clearly said he was caught off guard.

“I- I’m on the job,” I stuttered at first, I could see him deciding to let it slide as he looked away. He looked back to me and opened his arms for a hug, I backed away just a bit and he immediately got the message. Why did I do that?

“What? You’ve been gone for a couple years and I’m a stranger now?” he laughed, yet I could tell he was irritated by how I acted. But he was Benny Watts, he never shared how he felt, and he never shows weakness. What I did merely confused him as far as I knew.

I didn’t know how to act if I was being honest, things weren’t left exactly fantastic when I left for France. Benny wasn’t happy I was leaving, not at all. He went from being shocked, to upset, to begging me to stay, to making promises like he would visit me. He didn’t keep those promises, but I never expected him to.

I took a deep breath, “No you’re not- I’m just- sorry,” I was a mess, I wasn’t even able to stay cool around Benny when we were together.

He was my weakness, his smile, his messy dirty blonde locks, his voice.

He looked down, “Don’t worry about it,” he paused as he looked at my eyes. He just stared at me, “Better get going, I think some people are waiting on me,” he told me as he looked back to the crowd who sat around him and a chess table just moments ago.

I looked over to Cleo with a worried expression, she put her hand on my shoulder and shrugged with a sympathetic smile. I was an idiot, I backed away from a hug with Benny when I used to wake up to him everyday only 2 years ago.

Benny looked me up and down and tipped his hat, he spun on his heel as he turned around to walk away. I didn’t know what to say so I decided to say my goodbyes to Cleo and go to my room,

“Benny,” I turned around suddenly hoping to catch him,

“Yeah?” Benny turned to look at me,

“I’ll see you later?” I asked,

He chuckled quietly and looked to his feet, “Sure Y/N, I’ll see you later,” he said dully.

I felt relieved he didn’t scoff and keep walking like he had done to many who wronged him.

I do miss him; I wasn’t distant because I wanted to be- I was distant because I had lost my ways with him. I didn’t know how to be his friend again. I miss the bad jokes and the excited chess talk and even some of the pointless arguing, what it was before I left.

I fell onto my bed and stared at the ceiling in my hotel room.

What would mother think?

I ask myself the same question every day. She would think if he didn’t move to France with me in the first place that he wasn’t worth my time, I smiled as I remembered when she first met him.

She asked how much money he had, if he took me to his tournaments, if he would die for me. Benny sat there speechless while I was a giggling mess, I don’t even believe we were together at that point but over my dead body did I not introduce a US Chess Champion to my mother.

I’ll talk to him before he leaves, I’ll be there to watch him win everyone. I’ll fix what I have clearly broken.

// Part Two ! //

#benny watts #benny watts imagines #benny watts x reader #the queens gambit #the queens gambit imagines #imagines #thomas brodie-sangster #thomas brodie-sangster imagines

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taeslovehandles · 3 years

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I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

#taeslovehandle asks #do not use this post to cause your own drama #this is me answering honestly.#the topic about this ends here.#please respect this <3

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seb-owns-these-tatas · 4 years

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Witcher of the Night (Chapter 23)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

CHAPTER 22

WOTN MASTERLIST

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: You only needed a little push from the Druid to blurt out what is needed to be said out in the open. It was time to finally recognize such feelings you have for the witcher who is out to hunt for the witch that will set you free. Thus, making you yearn more for him when you're currently still in a fight with the man himself.

Warnings: I've customized Kolby in this story of mine. He talks a little. Heh. Derogatory attitudes and words. No Still, no Geralt yet. Full blown Geralt perspective on chapter 23.1! (Not 1st POV) It will be posted earlier in Wattpad. Hehehehe.

Words: 6k

A/N: Updates might be a lot slower than usual when September starts because it's the start of our online school. 😊 That's why I'm doing my effort in posting updates as much as possible. Feedbacks will be so nice to receive especially for an author. 😊 Also, CAN’T THEY JUST MAKE-UP ALREADY? I MISS WRITING FLUFF FOR THEM?!

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue! PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK AFTER READING, BB! I apologize for errors!

Disclaimer: PNG’s and pictures used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. Character development and personalities are based from my understanding and how I want them to be. I only own my original characters in this fanfic.

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

(I know that ain't a Hirikka. Just looks like one. Hehe. It's a Madagascar Lemure to be specific. So cute. Literally looks like a Hirikka or Kolby but a smaller version! 😍)

By your sudden reckoning after days of physical torture, you deserve a reward for having your hypothesis correct. The palace guards has taken you all close to a stock still riverbed; stagnant and utterly too tranquil to begin with that it has given you doubts over how safe it is. Living with the witcher has made you more cautious over your surroundings, thinking that there would always be monsters hiding around or beneath the dark stream of water where minnows constantly waggled along your toes as you tried to test the temperature of the water.

The river curved gently through the forest, your eyes scanning all around and wary for any beasts to surprise you out of the blue. Every women began to grab onto a pile of dirt stained clothes scattered on the dry, rocky ground as you were calf deep within the rivers, looking through the trees while you stood on your place---seeing for any broken branches looking like it has been eaten or moved by a gigantic beast.

Remembering the witcher's knowledge about monsters, giving you some of the basics. He'd told you about foot prints seen on the ground as it could also be a hint that monsters may be wandering around the place.

You've felt a hand shoving your shoulders forward to disturb you out of your thoughts, the mild splashing of water coming from your stumbling body as you heard the voices of one, ill-bred castle guard, "It's safe. The servants have been washing clothes in ere' since before you even feckin' arrived," he curtly spat with no remorse. Drops of his saliva watering your face like rainfall which has made you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"We shouldn't be too sure," ambivalent of the whole place, you uttered in complete hesitance.

The castle guard boastfully crossed his arms in front of you, tilting his chin high to show how he was pressing on his dominance over a servant slash prisoner he believed you to be---his judgement being also based upon your connection with a witcher which has made him more repellant and hateful.

"Stop blathering, witcha's whore. Do your job."

There was no use to that especially that every man and woman surrounding you began to rudely stare---criticising your shilly-shallying and thinking that you were doing it to lessen your work time. All the tension was adding stones to your chest because you sincerely didn't want to do any of it at all.

One begrudging sigh and a glum frown was all it took for your feet to leave the rivers, carrying the heavyness of being trapped and controlled by people acting like they owned everything of you.

This was probably how peasants were back in history and it was humiliating to be under their jurisdiction when you have been used to freedom back in your dimension no matter how depressing it can be to be alone and a commoner.

You sat on a big pile of rock around the river bed, your knuckles turning beet red from how you have been scrubbing all clothing, under garments, any type of fabric that has got you feeling as if muscles would build up around your shoulders and arms from how thick and thin they can become. Minding your own business and wanting to finish the chores as soon as possible---being secluded from the group of chattering servants who were a few meters away from you that their abrupt jests and teases haven't been heard by you. One tall, slim maiden managed to stroll along your way, through the riverbed as she loudly called which has gotten giggles of mischievousness from the women.

"Oi! Witcher's tramp!" she loudly spoke whilst the cold wind passed by, "---I heard you're damned just like the butcher,"

Your movements have been ceased by her blatant pillory. But, you went on scrubbing the clothing on your hands while lowly murmuring a tired warning.

"Leave me alone."

Cold sweat began to drip on your temples and neck. The healing bruises on your back slightly feeling sore and you couldn't help but stretch your back upon sitting down on the rocks. Once the maiden was up close as you've seen her shadows nearby, giving her a plain gander; your memory washed through when you've seen her face.

Drishti. She was the woman who looked to be in a close relationship with the senior servants who seemed to also be mocking other women as a playful jest.

Though, you doubt yours have just been playful teases.

She swiftly turned away to crouch beside you, grabbing onto the finished fabrics that were already clean. The giggling woman dropped the wet bundle of clothes over your head that has made you breathless for too much frustrations going to your head, intentionally ruining your work and mockingly stating her apologies when some of it went straight down the waters, soiling them again.

"The queen wants it squeaky clean. No tarnishes. Leave er' out until your knuckles are bleedin'! I've seen dirt with your work---wouldn't want the queen to scold us now, don't we?"

Otker has just been watching the whole scene before him with a frown etched on his face. He didn't want to involve in such problems that women try to stir with each other especially that other knights and sentinels actually came with them. But, seeing you being bludgeoned for their entertainment was giving himself more guilt while hearing more of what they were saying.

The others began to saunter towards where you both were. Mischievous grins curling their lips as they prowled closer to where Drishti was and stopping beside her with their hands on their hips, wiping their wet hands on their aprons.

"I doubt you would be able to wash all these clothing by yourself," Drishti stated, proud of ruining your work and seeing you submissively peeling off the clothes covering your head one by one in a lethargic manner. No words spoken by the witcher's tramp that they have been calling you since the day you've seen them.

"You seem to be in a moribund by how pale ye' are! Definitely the witcher's bride!" the other maiden noticed as she crouched near you, her face closely in a few inches from yours. Yet, you didn't give her your attention and continued to ignore whatever they were doing. Fed up by all their oppression about being Geralt's whore. The label quite affecting you more and more each day as they try to make you realize that it was all your worth to him.

They weren't helping after the fight you had with him as it was still fresh inside your head, stressing you out with a want to claw anyone in your way.

"Your stupid witcher killed my knightly hombre for a floozie like ye'!" Drishti snarled, raising her foot to kick you on the side before seeing her in your peripheral vision and blocking her assaults with a shove of your hands, pushing her calf away from your body.

"---Not. My. Stomach. Bitch."

The bitchy maiden squinted her eyes, guessing as to why you seem to be in a flurry and protective state over the stomach you've suddenly held dear. She tilted her chin, comprehending what was keeping you all guarded rather than accepting their tyrannizes just like how you've been days before.

You were acting like a pregnant woman, she thought in the back of her mind. Now, Drishti knew you were basically fucking the witcher---and you were too naive to know that he was sterile.

Though, they never know anything at all besides that.

"Feisty and defensive, aye! Ye' growin' a cub down there? I doubt!" she scoffed from the idea and how you were avoiding her eyes, guilty from being caught, "---you've gone doolally if you ever think the witcher gots you pregnant, harlot!"

Drishti was about to tug onto your hair when your guarding has been on the low, choosing to ignore her. Like a shot, an uninvited whisk of a wind passed by. The gasps and yelps of people around started to begin again with buzzes of incoherent gossips. Their fingers pointing towards an undesirable visitor who can never be accepted by people in their land.

A familiar growl vibrated beside you, making you turn your head to see your Hirikka standing for safeguard. His fangs shown towards Drishti who was now sitting upon the riverbed, her bottom drenched in her own clothes from being shoved by the beast you call your own, looking like she has seen her own fears appear before her.

"Kolby?" sweetly called by you, gasping afterwards by feeling the relief wash over, "---Kolby! I thought you were gone,"

Upon the de trop invitation of the Hirikka, pandemonium started to arise for his presence. Wary of the sound of swords unsheathing from their covers and gallants suddenly coming forth towards the both of you.

It suddenly made you stand up in defense, hiding Kolby behind whilst you fought for his life.

"Kill it!" Roger, the head guard suddenly started his upheaval. Marching towards you with his sword on his side, paranoid over the monster that they're seeing.

"Stop! he's harmless! Just feral because you are using your swords on him!" Their actions made you shout at the top of your lungs, making them cease their steps when Kolby swiftly turned to change position and stood in front, safeguarding you from everyone he sees peril.

One sentinel huffed in abhorrence, his face shadowing outrage for the brute trying to protect another human. Disbelief written inside their eyes as Kolby continued to loudly howl in the middle of the forest and riverbed.

"That's a feckin' monster you gots there, you foolish woman!"

You reached for the Hirikka, softly petting his head which quickly have him calm down in the slightest, leaning his muzzle closer to your face as he purred. Noting his particular stench that he had from being away for days and out in the forest.

"Kolby is harmless! I can even pet him! He will prove you all that this Hirikka is harmless for anyone. Would you do the honors, Otker?"

The forest green eyed man suppressed all his opinions to himself as he observed what was happening. Reveling in his own silence, his name was abruptly called out of the blue, snapping from his own dwam as Otker surveyed the looks of everyone who were scattered around him, their defense up and alert whilst they hold their weapons.

"M-Must it be me?" he stuttered and tweeted, his weight shifting from one foot to the other while his foot tapped on the ground. Otker seeming to be reluctant from your suggestion when he'd given Kolby a scan of his eyes as the Hirikka barred his teeth dispassionately, distinguishing to be a smile that caught the chevalier in surprise.

"---He's harmless, lads. Unless you're keeping his master in danger then he'll bite,"

Nobody believed him. That wasn't new to a newly employed knight who hadn't reach years of working for the kingdom.

One Kaedweni scout yelled his hatred over your monster out in the open, "Slaughter the beast and behead!"

They've all taken one step forward. Their stance never capitulating no matter how much convincing was ever told. Kolby vehemently yowled and barked in the middle of their pussyfooting till they could reach you both. It sounded like a howl of a wolf who was calling for its kind. Their obstinacy made you squawk out of nowhere, rattling the quietude of the forest as you felt your heart pounding faster and louder against your chest. Your temples thumping in torment because your head was starting to ache from the stress they were trying to give and for also feeling your other half's current state.

Your screams made them jerk back, the maidens clearing their throat and subtly stepping back from your sudden outrage.

"I'd like to see you try before I tell him to rip your head first while I feed your balls off to fuckin' Ghouls!" you shrieked and panted, feeling another gist of a panic-attack about to happen. Your emotions were starting to be a squall before a hurricane, utterly ferocious and turbulent because of the pent-up aggression kept for days long.

"---Just leave me the fuck alone for this once! You're all insane for annoying the shit out of me since the moment I got here! I've been doing everything you wanted! Wasn't all the drubbing enough?! Call me the witcher's whore, tramp, harlot, his sex-doll for all I care! I know my face shows how I'm always thirsty for Geralt's dick but you don't need to know that! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" pause. "---FUCKING ASSHOLES IN THE MEDIEVAL ERA! YOU'RE STRESSING ME OUT!"

You were a towering rage set in a small body of a woman. Your face wild and vicious---in the verge of crying and wanting to bring back the time where you have never drowned in a lake you hardly remember; for it to have the power of never transporting into another dimension that was staring to take a toll on you, never wanting to have met Geralt along the way so you wouldn't have love him too much just like how you do now.

Thinking about his whereabouts every single day despite of being thoroughly upset over him, still caring for him even knowing that he didn't even loved you.

Tears were being squeezed from the eyes who have already cried all night and day. But, it seemed like it decided not to give the people in front---the taste of your desperation for peace and happiness especially without your anchorage who happened to be breaking the chains for you.

Roger took a step back, hearing growling from afar and not just from your Hirikka. His head snapped to where the noise where coming from when he was suddenly standing stiff from where he stood, eyeing a dozen of wild Hirikkas grouping themselves from the other side of the river. Grimy and nasty looking more than Kolby; taller, bigger and some were buffed like a bear. Their teeth barred for everyone to see as the monsters were scanning them one by one with their wild golden eyes.

The kaedweni sentinels seen it all, even the maidens who were silently panicking from seeing such monsters prowling away from them, standing to watch what was happening as if Kolby was their alpha. They all looked at Roger who begrudgingly sheathed his sword, ignoring your dispute with a single nod of his head for his men.

"They're everywhere. The beast must've called for reinforcements," he exhaled a breath of exasperation, taking a gander to give you a glare.

"---Stand down, lads."

All at once, they've yielded their weapons. Some shaking their heads at what they were witnessing. However, most were sending crude remarks over your relationship with a monster they believed and had profound repugnance over its kind.

"You're...You're a feckin' mutant too! Get your feckin' monster out of ere' before we kill ye' instead!"

Nevertheless, as each hour and days pass by. It seems like their ridicules sound like a normal thing to hear now after a ton of shameless monikers coming from them whenever they were seeing you. Becoming numb over what humans think of because you were simply associated with Geralt of Rivia. A witcher in their world. Catching more undisputed names that you hardly know as he seemed not to be the only witcher that people knew.

Hushed words were buzzing through the air whilst everyone tried hard to go back to their chores. The guards being more wary and defensive especially that the Hirikkas on the other end didn't leave the rivers after raising the white flag. Servants couldn't look you in the eye now after the commotion or particularly because Kolby was crouched beside while you went back to sit on the large stone.

He was breathing out large breaths through his snout while you scrubbed the dirty laundry again that Drishti has ruined, hearing a primal murmur of an animalistic whirr of his lungs.

"Ger...Ger...alt...Gwenn...bleid,"

Your eyes simply went wide at that, quickly understanding what words he was trying to form. Blood seeming to be pumping faster through your heart like you were hearing the first words of your child, excitement and curiosity rushing all around.

"You talk?! Are you curious as to where Geralt is?" Kolby gave a wince of his muzzle, snarling to himself like his sudden talking was making him hurt. You've quickly reached out and scratched the back of his long, wide, sharp ears that made him bark in felicity.

"He's not here though. Geralt is probably out in the woods hunting for the witch to get me out of this castle. Then, after that...I'm probably going back to where I came from because we had a fight,"

Kolby's doe eyes stared straight to your soul, whimpering as if he understood what you meant. The Hirikka subtly shook his head, making you furrow your brows from his peculiar gestures.

"You don't believe me?" only a loud sniff of his nose was given as an answer. He made a noise at the back of his throat that only he could do---sounding like a purr and a growl. Kolby sniffed another on your apron, across your stomach before promptly sitting up straight. His eyes as wide as the sun was shining above you whilst he suddenly screeched in a high-pitch tone for three times. Pausing in every yelp that got you covering your ears for how loud it was.

You were about to ask him what was wrong when he stood up on his paws, his teeth chattering like how cats are whenever they're on a hunt. The other Hirikkas loudly howling before Kolby sprinted beside you and paved away for the second time.

"Kolby! No! Come back! Not again!"

Your Hirikka was the only precious warmth you could remember like how a home can give. But, now; even Kolby was running away from you just like how Geralt chose to disregard the warmth you sincerely felt for him.

"Can't I have one day of rest?"

The exhausting day finally came to an end. Your chest feeling more and more heavier each day---probably having more weight than what you usually hold on to when you're upset. With Geralt's feelings overflowing yours and combining with the disappointment you had for him.

In the deepest part of your heart, there was still the obvious yearning to be in the arms of your witcher as days went on. The curse of the djinn being also somewhat a connection of souls you had with Geralt. Combination of feelings being stronger each day but never knowing what it truly was. Undisclosed secrets never been told to each other which heightened more of the weight on both of your shoulders.

With your back towards the door, the druid stood upon the threshold with stuff on his feeble arms.

"Wear this," Eanraig took several steps closer, placing the basket of womanly essentials on the side table of your bed. He slowly lowered the dress on the foot of the mattress before you rolled on your back with a whimper of your sore muscles.

"---The queen has set you a gown for a feast,"

"Is this the day I die?" you deadpanned, staring at the ceiling, "---this happens in the movies. They become good to me for one day because I'm dying the next. I'm naive, but not entirely stupid. Thanks, Eanraig."

Lifting yourself up on the bed, your back leaning against the headboard. You've maneuvered on all fours, crawling towards the lacy gown displayed along the golden sheets of the mattress. The color of the dress singing praises over the hues laid upon. Raising quite a heavy dress saluting back at you was a raven painted renaissance dress dangling over the bust part of a woman's body with a thin, see through fabric that fell along the arms like a sleeve to cover them up.

It was beautiful since black was a color you've always opted to wear back in earth. The color being basic and not difficult to match up with accessories. Yet, the whole gown seemed to be a planned outfit because of how gothic it looked, like the dress was meant to wear for something else.

Your mouth fell into a gloomy frown, realizing what this whole jet-black look was giving.

"A death dress. Wow. I'm impressed."

Eanraig couldn't help but scratch the nape of his neck, avoiding your callous guise and the idea of what you said, "If you still want to live or see the Witcher and give him his progeny then you must attend the feast that was planned for you---somehow, it is."

Dropping the dress back on the sheets, your mouth was set on a thin line as you speak, "---and pretend I'm happy like they didn't beat the shit out of me?"

There was a beat of silence that filled the chambers he was in. Eanraig unconsciously scratched his whitening beard, sitting on the side of the bed beside you, "Just remember to stay low and never create a scene,"

"Tell your knights to not touch me then,"

A long deafening pause lingered between you. Eanraig's grey eyes filled with dread from what he misunderstood over what was said, quickly thinking about your witcher when he knows you have been 'touched' without your consent. Geralt would never get to tranquilize his savagery regardless whether a sorceress, wizard or any of the royal family stood before him when you have been abused for more than what was expected.

They've promised not to touch you. The witcher wouldn't take such broken promises without having their heads sliced from his hands.

"Were you..." the druid uttered and was lost in his trepidation, suggesting that their assaults have been more to that.

You were quick to shake your head firmly, swallowing that uncomfortable feeling down your throat from even just thinking about it. Knights and guards never did touch you in that way because of how they've loathed your relationship by being the witcher's tramp---thinking that you were one disgusting human they can never tolerate to try and bed you. Somehow, you were thankful that they've found you disgusting rather than appealing because you didn't know what to do nor have the energy to live on their world knowing that they have paved their way to have you.

Your spine felt the cold prickle, making you shiver and grabbing a hold of yourself by placing both of your palms on either side of your arms, more hopeless without any comfort around you but yourself.

"No. Not in that kind, Eanraig." pause. You've quickly changed the topic, "---I've never had any sleep since the moment Geralt left."

It's definitely not comfortable to be sleeping in a huge castle where memories of men beating you up shadowed on the four corners of the room. Frigidness completing your night where you have done nothing but stare from a distance, waiting for the moment where it was finally time to leave. The jocular memories filling your evening with nothing but the smiles of Jaskier, Cirilla and Geralt, excruciating when it came to reminiscing in the exact moment where Geralt had you in his arms by night, shushing you to sleep when he wasn't out to kill actual monsters and he was just there to protect you from yours.

"Having no proper sleep may harm the baby."

A sardonic laugh filled the room. The baby inside you was giving more complications upon staying in the castle, knowing that Ingrith hated you for it and for what the child was capable of. If only she could slice your throat, she probably would have done it in your sleep. Yet, the sorceress seemed to be like a person who held a name where she couldn't do any obvious wicked schemes that will harm her status.

"It's not like this castle isn't dangerous 24/7. You think I can sleep knowing that Geralt would actually leave me alone and I raise this child all by myself in a world I hardly know about?"

Now, Eanraig had the chance to skip the topic to something else, trying not to stress you more because he knew that a pregnant woman shouldn't be in distress from any begrudging news or complications. In due course, he was finally understanding that you overthink about such things where it could be affecting your mental state no matter how sooner or later, you'll be muttering how Geralt could sip tea with his monsters then sobbing afterwards because you were mindlessly missing to stay at his home. All away from the troubles that everyone was giving.

"I am unaware of women's essentials. But, I have brought you what I have retrieved from Cynthia. She has adviced for you to doll up being pretty as a princess," he was caught up in his own thoughts, pointing at a basket laid beside the bed. An unfamiliar name of a woman that he hardly ever mentioned until tonight.

With the ends of your lips raising into a smile, you couldn't stop the teasing gaze given to the druid which made him throatily chuckle while crawling to take a peek inside the basket, "It's...make up. This Cynthia you call, is she your wife?" unconsciously, your brows wiggled to goad over how timorous he suddenly became.

Even the magical so called 'druid' had his own rocky relationship with a woman.

Love. What's in it for you between Geralt? was it the affection bound to be felt for him?

You were reading the signs---his signs as if he was being hot and cold. Push and pull. Jumping and then taking a step back whenever he was swimming too deep, hesitant over such that you may never know until he tells.

"I'm afraid so, Little woman. But hardly my betrothed." the scholar chuckled and shook his head, turning his head to see you shuffle under the sheets, slipping in and hugging the blanket over your body longing for a witcher's touch regardless of being in a fight with him.

"Not official then. Hmm."

"You are starting to be the same as your witcher,"

A brow was lifted as you heard him acknowledge the fact that you were catching onto Geralt's habits of humming, your mouth forming a tight thin line as if he was sharing that you were slowly becoming one with him.

"Thanks for the dress and make-up, Eanraig. I just want to leave this castle for good already." you sneered, promptly laying down on the bed. Your back away from the druid which got him raising his brows because of your never ending worries.

Well, if you weren't living in a world like theirs and accidentally transported to their dimension with the lore of monsters---he certainly would go crazy just like how you were deeply pondering over circumstances.

"Back where you came from? Or back in your home with Geralt?"

"I...don't know,"

The bed squeaked as Eanraig shifted against the mattress, scooting closer to prove the witcher's understandable logic, "You know he didn't mean to say that. If anyone knows more about him in this castle, it must be you, Little Woman." he stated as a matter of fact, leaving no arguments on the latter part of his sentence.

Though, feeling attacked over pointing the blame on you felt like wildfire.

"He called me pathetic and wanted me to shut up, Eanraig."

"He's been called more than just displeasing names if we were to talk about his experiences. Geralt has created barriers over people that sometimes slips in between moments like this," he paused for a beat of second, continuing to provide more assurance and knowledge over his perspectives.

"---Maybe, you must have upset him too---hurt him in such ways which made him defensively talk back,"

Your lower lip quivered from the horrid truth that Geralt's friend managed to let out for you to think through, saving the best reason for last about the motives why you were acting snappy and cranky from the start.

"He doesn't love me,"

The scholar couldn't help but lowly chuckle beneath his breath, sounding like a scorn or derision that made you curl up like a ball under the sheets that was thrown over your head.

"But, he's out there finding a witch that is difficult to find. Correct?" pause. "---Even had killed men for you that no other men could do in the continent. So, how sure are you to say that his feelings aren't love?"

Another dreading beat of silence came after. The constant pauses being a fear for receiving more hurtful truths that kept you whining throughout the night.

You kicked your foot inside the sheets, facing front against the bed like a plank. Your voice sounding muffled through the soft fabric, "He...was searching for his lost lover before I came around."

"Before you came around," he repeated in a sing-song tone, "---Is he still searching for her whereabouts?"

"I...don't know. People have been telling me that he isn't meant to love another,"

Eanraig smiled to himself, his palms slapping his knees whilst he stood with a persuasive tone, "Then, you don't have enough trust and faith for him when you are giving him doubts. You are just like other people who sees him as the mutant that they all tell---a witcher who has no emotions nor is capable of having,"

The latter turned his back away. Deciding to leave you alone after pushing your hesitance through the limits. You just needed a push over actually trying to be the matured one---a mind of a mother who would only care for her child or family than herself. He knew it was in there, the femininity after knowing from Tybalt that you have begged to be taken rather than for Geralt's child of surprise to be kidnapped, including the humble bard whom has received beatings from the army.

As he stood, Eanraig heard a quiet sob followed suit and a hiccup from keeping everything too long to yourself---even kept everything from the witcher because you didn't have it in you.

"I-I don't! I don't see him as that! You don't get to judge me!" another hiccup resonated in the room, your stuttering making the druid frown from how small and fragile you instantly seemed to be. Knowing that one of the reasons why Geralt has been protecting you with all the risks included.

You were certainly like a bread before it has even been baked. A dough that appeared and felt to be soft once touched, your characteristics needed to be molded to make you stronger in their world. Sensitiveness being a sole weakness and he knew Geralt would've seen it with one look. Unless, the witcher must've loved how vulnerable and helpless you are---your naivity and innocence over lots of things has Geralt keeping you closer to his side.

Maybe, the witcher doesn't want you to change at all.

The druid knew that because even with Cynthia, he loved all her attributes and personality with all his heart. Accepting her imperfections and weaknesses as a part of her that makes her...human.

"---I love him, Eanraig. I love Geralt. I genuinely fell for him before I even know it and this child we have isn't helping when I know he would only ever love me as a woman that will eventually fade when she comes back around!"

Sobbing under the sheets was better than bawling your eyes out for another man to see. You went on in sobbing and curling into a fetus position, hearing Eanraig sigh but never seeing the regret in his eyes by triggering you into becoming this sobbing woman who would cry the night away.

"I'm sure he knows how you feel for him, Little Woman. Tell him before it's too late," he scratched his beard with his thumb, seeing you shift under the blankets and turning half away but not actually seeing your face as you were still hiding inside the sheets.

"---No matter how deep he's fond of you or not because you both have created a bundle of joy who is bound to walk through the continent. I am sure she has been made with love," Pause.

"Regrets won't get you living in happiness because you'll always come back to the moment where you hope to have confessed," Eanraig gave a small smile you never saw as you continued to wail. The bond that the Djinn has cast you both in gradually making you suffer from its yearning it was having for the witcher who was not there for you to hold nor talk to. The scholar knew it has given you both such connection that won't be easy to break.

"---Geralt's not entirely inhuman. You both have shared a bond together that nobody can ever experience. Never fear for the witcher who has captured your fragile heart---who knows, you might have captured his since then.Yet, he doesn't give candor due to his brooding persona. Don't let fear conquer the love you have for him,"

Sorry for the typos and errors! I've edited this all in my phone. (via Wattpad) Spare me an error please? HAHAHAHAH! COMMENTS OR FEEDBACKS WILL MAKE MY HEART TWERK! GO DO IT, BB! Tell me your guesses as to what will happen when it's finally the night of the feast in the castle! 😉🙈

Taglist for WOTN: (Strikethrough means your blog can’t be tagged. Please check your settings, bb’s! Thank you.) @alyxkbrl @himarisolace @barkingbullfrog @ayamenimthiriel @hellodevilslittlesister @turkish276 @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-fanfictions @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernaturalhero @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer @marvelousell @kingniazx @angelias134 @tapismyforte @chook007 @butterpumpkinscotch @deadlydemon @cheesecakeisapie @angelofthor @carrieannewaywardson, @plantingmum, @stuckupstucky, @shesthelastjedi, @a–1–1–3, @gutfucks, @raynosaurus-rex, @britty443, @suhke3, @shadowclawstudio88, @ruthoakenshield, @just-a-sad-donut, @gxrdenr0se, @singeramg @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo, @alexwinchester23, @naturalthrone22

Overall witcher taglist: @pizza-eater-i-ate-the-pizza, @crazybutconfidentaf

General taglist for any Henry Cavill fics: @agniavateira, @iloveyouyen, @rahdaleigh, @silverkitten547, @henrythickcavill, @kaatelyyynn, @marvelousell, @madelinelina, @summersong69, @raynosaurus-rex, @fckdeusername, @evansislife

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theotherackerman · 3 years

Text

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

NOTES:

Friday January 22nd

chapter twenty-five: said i'm fine but it wasn't true

It was Mikasa and Levi’s grandfather’s birthday.

Mikasa only knew it was by the calendar in the kitchen.

“He was an ass anyway. You didn’t miss much by not knowing him,” Levi informed her as he did every year.

Armin and Eren left that afternoon.

--------------------

Apparently being a dumbass was contagious.

While Zeke was trying to process the file Levi had given him, Armin had dropped Eren off back at the house on Friday morning.

"Niccolo and Sasha broke up," Eren informed him. "Well, not that they were actually together yet…"

Zeke groaned. "Why?"

"Apparently, he had some issues with her still being friends with Connie...is Pieck drunk on our couch? It's not even the afternoon!"

"You're one to talk, tiny Jaeger," Pieck said from the couch.

"Oh see that dumbass there just broke up with her boyfriend too," Zeke said as he pointed at her.

"He wasn't my boyfriend!"

"Wait, is this the mystery guy? Who was he?"

Pieck face planted into the couch and mumbled something that Eren and Zeke didn't understand.

"Is she drunk?" Eren asked him.

"On sugar probably. She already ate the last of the ice cream."

Eren didn’t say anything as he went to his room upstairs.

Zeke looked over the still face planted Pieck.

“Will you go talk to him already? It is not too late to go back and tell him you are a dumbass,” Zeke said as he looked at the scans of the file on his computer.

“It is! I broke his heart and now he’s going to go out with a younger woman.” Pieck said as she sat up.

Why did Zeke have to be the only sane one in his group of friends?

“You didn’t see his face, Zeke. I destroyed him and just left. Without looking back.”

“Pieck...go back. Go admit your fuck up.”

Zeke had seen Pieck cry a handful of times. Once when her father had been diagnosed with cancer and the other when Dina had died.

But not like this.

Pieck hadn’t been in many relationships. She always said things like she was allergic to relationships or why waste time on something that statistically wouldn’t work out. No, Pieck was married to her art.

It was this moment that Zeke realized Pieck had said all of these things to keep herself safe from this.

The tears were streaming down her face.

Eren came downstairs and stopped there.

“Pieck….” Eren said as he crossed to Pieck.

“I just see him in my head. I go back and he’s already with her. She’s so much younger and prettier than I am. I just...I can’t. Eren, I’m sorry,” Pieck apologized.

“Why?” Eren asked.

Zeke moved from the table over to sit next to Pieck.

“He’s your friend and you’re going to find out very soon. It’s Jean. I’m sorry,” Pieck began crying more.

Zeke did not have the first clue about what to do. Neither did Eren.

“I’m going to make a phone call,” Eren said before stepping out of the room.

“Don’t! It has to be over. I don’t want to feel this….anymore..”

“Okay,” Eren said. “I won’t call Jean.”

Eren stepped out of the room.

After what happened with Armin and Mikasa, Eren said he wouldn’t lie about things like this anymore. But Eren had to lie this time.

He went out of the room and pressed Jean’s contact in his phone.

“What do you want, Jaeger? Now is not a good time,” Jean’s voice rang out on the other side of the phone.

“Are you in love with Pieck?” Eren asked.

“What? Why is that any of your business?”

“Because she’s crying to Zeke in my living room right now.”

“She’s the one who ended it. Not me! So don’t come at me about it.”

“I’m not. I just..”

“What do you want me to do, Eren? Beg her to stay? I told her just to say the word and I’d tell my mom not to set me up on a date. I told her I loved her. She said she didn’t feel the same. She said she didn’t love me and it was just sex. So no, I’m not fucking begging her when she’s made her feeling perfectly clear. We’re not you and Mikasa. If she wanted to be with me, she had the chance.”

Eren couldn’t argue with that.

“I’m sorry,” Eren said after a moment.

“It’s whatever. I’ll bounce back. I mean how can I not? I’m me.”

“If you need to talk…”

“You’d be the one I’d call?”

“If anyone knows about losing the one they love…”

“Well, you’ve got a point there. You do know about fucking things up, don’t you? You idiot. How is that going by the way?”

“Good.”

“Good. Don’t do that again.”

“Oh. Don’t worry. I won’t. By the way, why didn’t you make a move on Mikasa when we were broken up?”

“Because unlike you, I’m not an idiot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dropped that idea the day I asked her out and she turned me down. She told me she had feelings for you and then when I saw you two together the next day, I knew. You two were meant for one another. Even if you’re an idiot who fucked it up, I wasn’t. I knew there was no way I could compete with you...when it comes to Mikasa.”

“Did you just say something nice to me?”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“Okay, horseface.”

“Fucking idiot.”

“...you want to get online and shoot some shit?”

“Give me ten minutes.”

“Don’t pull my rank down.”

“Don’t pull mine.”

--------------

Pieck eventually stopped crying.

Zeke patted her on her back while she cried.

And Pieck cried until she couldn’t cry anymore.

She was done.

“So teach me another song.”

“Do you..”

“No.”

“Okay. Yeah, sure.”

----------------

Mikasa’s writer’s block had begun to disappear. She spent most of the day in the sun room writing lyrics to one of the unfinished pieces she had from Historia.

Annie had given up on work half way through her shift and shuffled into the sun room where Ymir was restringing her acoustic guitar.

The sound of power tools in the basement could be heard.

“They having any luck down there?” Annie asked before she sat down in one of the chairs.

“They brought up some ripped out carpet,” Ymir said as she tightened the string down.

“So this is actually happening. We’re going to record,” Annie gave a small smile.

“We’ve come a long way in a little over a year,” Ymir replied as she finished tightening the string down. “Speaking of coming a long way, how’s our social media numbers looking?”

Annie sighed, “well, Facebook sits at the same numbers. Twitter gained a few. YouTube has gone up. Instagram is the problem. We’re dropping views on whatever we post in the feed.”

“Why?” Mikasa asked as she stopped playing.

“It’s the algorithm. The more people who see and interact with our stuff, the more it spreads but it has to show up on the feed first. We’re fucked sometimes. I’ve been trying to put everything into stories where I can but people still have to interact with it.”

“You remember the days when things were just chronical on our feeds?” Ymir asked. “Now you have to be a math genius like Annie to get anywhere.”

“To be fair, I still haven’t beat it.”

“You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“We all need to interact with the posts. That’ll help too. I know we have been but we have to keep it up.”

“Just tag me in that shit and I’ll share it everywhere. Speaking of genius...are we going to have another new song or what?” Ymir asked as she looked over at Mikasa.

“I’m working on it. Have we thought about the idea of collaborating with The Restorationists? Their follower numbers are larger than ours. Plus, they just got a new bassist. Might be a good idea to see if they want to do a livestream with us or something,” Mikasa said before she shrugged.

“What about Niccolo and Sasha?” Ymir asked.

“Yeah, I’m worried about that too,” Mikasa sighed.

“Wouldn’t hurt to ask,” Annie shrugged.

-----------------

Sasha kept her word of not speaking to Niccolo for a little bit. He didn’t try to contact her and she didn’t try to contact him. However, as Sasha had said, the farm was doing great at the farmer’s market. Mr. Blouse even gave both Sasha and Historia a bonus when they finished work today.

“I don’t know how we’re going to have four guitars,” Ymir scoffed.

“And a bass,” Annie added.

“Yeah, that too. I love the song as much as you all do but I’m wondering how we’re going to pull it off.”

“What about a collaboration with The Restorationists?” Annie asked.

“Oh yeah. Niccolo did tag us on their Instagram. We should do that,” Sasha said.

“Even with you and Niccolo being all….whatever?” Ymir asked.

“I can be professional. Besides, I thought you all wanted this to be a more stripped down song. I can use the cajón,” Sasha shrugged.

“What the fuck is a cajón?” Ymir asked.

“The percussion box,” Sasha answered.

“Then just call it that!”

“This song is pretty personal, Historia. I’ll leave it up to you,” Sasha said before she hit the cymbal, causing Ymir to jump.

Ymir responded with a very horrible sound from her bass.

Annie sat down on the piano bench next to Mikasa and Historia as she sighed.

“It is pretty personal,” Mikasa said as she looked over Historia.

“We need four guitars, two percussion, and a bass. Can they read music?” Historia asked.

“Eren can,” Mikasa answered.

“Pieck is their bassist now. She can read music,” Annie said.

“Didn’t she work at the tutoring center with you for a while?” Ymir asked.

Annie nodded.

“Small world,” Ymir said.

“That leaves Zeke and Niccolo,” Historia said.

“Niccolo can,” Sasha answered before looking down.

Levi walked by the sun room with Sawney and Bean following him.

“Hey Levi, can Zeke read music?” Ymir asked.

“Why would I know the answer to that?” Levi asked as he stopped.

“He’s your therapist. Maybe you two bond over music or something. I don’t know but do you know?”

“No, I don’t. It really doesn’t come up in conversation.” He continued on his path with Sawney and Bean followed him.

“I’m sure Zeke can read music. I can always call Eren after practice,” Mikasa said as she turned to the next page of her sheet music.

“Are you okay with it being a collaboration, Mikasa?” Historia said.

“I’m okay with it,” she smiled.

“Guess that settles that. Just need to ask The Restorationists. Do you want me on bass, electric, or acoustic for this song?” Ymir asked.

“Acoustic,” Historia and Mikasa said at the same time.

“All of our band…” Historia started.

“On acoustic,” Mikasa finished.

“Add their band here,” Historia said as she pointed to the music.

“Should we do all five of us singing this lyric here?” Mikasa asked.

“Wait, I didn’t agree to sing on this song!” Sasha said as she stood up from her drum set.

“Oh yes, let’s do that. That should be low enough for everyone to sing, right?” Historia asked.

“It’s hopeless, Sasha. They’re in the zone. They’re not hearing a thing we’re saying,” Ymir said as she put her bass down on its stand.

“If that’s the case, I’m going to go figure out what to make for dinner,” Sasha said as she left the sun room.

“I’m going to go make myself some more tea before I get morning sickness again,” Annie said as she placed her guitar on the stand.

Historia and Mikasa were left alone in the sun room to continue work on the song.

While Rod Reiss sat on his throne, his daughter was dismantling it in her music.

#mmtylif #my writing

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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years

Text

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Warnings: Smut, swearing

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 6 Part 8

Part 7

Liam's phone rang. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. When it rang again, he made a noise of disgust and took his phone out of his pocket to look at it. "It's my publicist. I had better take this."

Liam answered the phone and went outside to talk. I turned the oven on and started to unpack the groceries. Then I got the roast, put it in a baking tray, poured olive oil over the top and seasoned it with salt and some pepper. I got out some onions and garlic and started to cut them up to place around the roast to give it some added flavour.

"That looks great," Liam said when he came back in.

"Thanks," I said, and I gave him a grin. I took the tray and put it in the oven. I got my phone and put an alarm on, giving myself time to cook the veggies before they finished. A thought came to me, and before I could bite my tongue, I said, "They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Really?" Liam licked his lips, looked down at his pants and said, "I'd say they were aiming too high."

It took me a minute to work out what the joke was. When I finally did, I couldn't help but laugh and hide my face in my hands.

"You've gone so red!" Liam appeared to be having fun with my inability to control my blushes.

"Oh, my God!" I said, still hiding my face and laughing. "Alright, that was funny."

It took me a while to stop laughing. When I did, Liam said sombrely, "Sweetheart, I have to tell you something."

"Uh, oh, it doesn't sound good."

"It's not bad. I don't know how you will feel about it." Liam then told me that his publicist had called to let him know there were pictures put on Instagram and Twitter of the two of us kissing at the pub last night. "Your name hasn't been mentioned, and the photos look to be shot from pretty far away on a mobile, so someone in the pub took the pictures. Sarah says they probably aren't going to tell who you are by the pictures unless someone who knows you well comes forward."

I think if my eyes bulged out of my head any further, they would have fallen out and rolled on the floor. "That quick?" It was all I could think to say.

"Yeah. It's hard to know what will come out and when. A lot of times I go out, and no one notices me, but other times I have paps or members of the public following me for hours."

"Who's Sarah?"

"My publicist." Liam reached across the bench and took my hand in his. "Are you ok?"

"You say they don't know who I am?" Liam nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't happy but what was I going to do about it? I picked at my nails. I needed to paint them; the pale pink polish was starting to chip.

"You ok?" Liam asked again

I shrugged. "Your life is weird."

Liam chucked. "You keep telling me that."

"So, what happens now?"

"Well, usually Sarah would say to private all social media, but she had a look and said she could only find a Facebook profile for you which was already private. Do you have any others? Instagram? Twitter? Snapchat?"

"No. I have a YouTube account that I use to watch videos, but that isn't linked to my real name or email. Also, a Tumblr account, again not associated with my name. And no pictures of me."

"Tumblr?" He raised an eyebrow. His fucking lip twitched.

"I was a confused 22-year-old ok?" I said a bit defensively. "I haven't used it in years," I remembered then the dating site we met on. I quickly logged on and selected the options to hide the account.

"Ok, well, there's not much else right now. A few rags called Sarah for comment. She said the standard no comment and asked for my privacy to be respected. The rest is up to you."

"Up to me?" I asked, confused. "What's up to me?"

"When you want to confirm the relationship and release your name."

"Liam, I met you less than 24 hours ago and have known you only a few months. I'm not ready for that. I like you a lot, but maybe you pick your nose and eat it, and I'll have to dump your arse tomorrow and then it's been a big song and dance over nothing." I joked. The mood had gotten too heavy for me. I wanted to talk about something else.

"Sweetheart, I'd never do that." He smiled sweetly, "I'd make you eat it."

"Ewww!" I screamed.

"Get over here." He chased me around the bench, and after a few evasions and some more squeals, he caught me. Perrin came in through the doggy door and barked at Liam a few times. Our behaviour obviously scandalised him. "Perrin," I called. "Come here, boy."

"You think your dog can save you?"

"Of course, he's very protective of my honour."

"We will see about that." Liam bent over, and I thought he was going to tackle me. Instead of flying backwards, I was hoisted forward and found myself over his shoulder. I screamed as I heard a loud crack, my hands flying to my bum.

"Did you just smack my arse?" I must admit I was finding all the manhandling arousing. I wasn't going to let him know that, though.

"Yes, I did. Want another?" Liam was heading down the hallway, taking me to the bedroom.

I giggled. "No!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Liam quoted. Shakespeare sounded good with his accent. I giggled some more, and I got another one. Yes, very arousing.

Liam hummed. "I quite like the view here." He rubbed my bottom and took me into my bedroom.

I was very close to his round bum. "This view is not so bad either," I said and smacked his arse. Unfortunately, it probably hurt me more than it hurt him. His butt was tight!

Liam dropped me onto the bed at that point, and the look on his face was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing, and tears were rolling down my face. Then I did the most embarrassing thing: I snorted.

That was it. Both of us couldn't stop. Every time I calmed enough to think I could speak, one look at Liam's face, and I'd be off again.

Eventually, we stopped, and I was able to say, "Oh my God, your face! That was so bloody funny." I wiped my eyes.

"I think that may have been the first time someone's done that to me."

"Really? Didn't you go to an all-boys school?"

"Yes, but it wasn't the US." Liam tried suppressing a grin as he said, "we got ball taps."

I tried not to laugh. I really did. "Oh, my God!" I was off again.

We watched the original Mad Max before I had to go and finish dinner. I was horrified when Liam said he hadn't seen it before. I immediately made him watch it. He said it was ok, the concept was great, but he didn't love it. I told him he needed a brain scan.

When I went to make dinner, Liam offered to help, but I told him not to be silly.

Liam sat at the kitchen bench chatting to me while I chopped and blanched the vegetables. After a while, he said he had to call Sarah and his assistant Ryan to make sure he had organised the dog walker to take Cole for a walk and play.

"Any update from Sarah?" I asked Liam when he returned. I feigned disinterest while I finished slicing the roast.

"All the same right now. Some sites have posted the pictures, saying I was spotted drinking with an "unknown female companion." The pictures have circulated a bit on Twitter, but it's mostly just by fans. They haven't hit the mainstream yet. It's all fairly standard, and it will go away by tomorrow by the looks of it."

"Good," I said. A look I couldn't interpret passed over Liam's face. He masked it pretty quickly. I opened my mouth to ask if he was ok but shut it again. I said, instead, "dinner's ready." I passed Liam his plate.

"Thank you," Liam said, leaning over to kiss me before eating. I watched as he cut up some beef and started chewing. "Pretty good. Almost as good as Mum's," he teased with a wink.

I elbowed him, and God bless him; he pretended it hurt.

We ate in silence for a while. I gave a few pieces to Perrin. He was so old, and I couldn't help but spoil him occasionally. He won't be around forever.

After dinner, Liam insisted on helping me clean up, and we stacked the dishwasher. Watching him bend over, his jeans straining as he put the plates in, stirred some feelings. Erotic feelings.

"Want to watch another movie?" He asked.

"Not really," I said. "I'm in the mood for some dessert."

"Ice-cream? I can't have any, but you can."

"Not ice-cream," I said, shaking my head. I looked at him with my very best bedroom eyes.

"What do you want then? Want me to go to the shops?" He said, not catching on. I put my arms around his waist. "If you let me borrow your car, I'll go. I can just go on my own."

"No, you wombat." I met his hips with mine, his eyes widened. "What I want is right here." I wriggled against him. Liam grinned widely, his cheeks creasing in such a sexy way.

"I thought you were shy."

"I am getting used to you," I said. "The real me is coming out." The truth of my words took me by surprise. I looked away, second-guessing myself. Why did I do that?

"I like her," Liam said hoarsely. If he hadn't spoken then, I think I would have stopped. But when his hands went into my hair, and he pulled, stretching my throat, I knew I wasn't going to stop. He kissed me there, and his teeth grazed my skin. My fingers reached under his shirt, and they gripped his back. My nails dug into his skin.

"Bedroom?" I whispered.

"Bedroom," he agreed and walked me backwards to my room.

"You promised me something earlier today," Liam said in between kisses. We were close to my bed.

"What's that?"

He stopped kissing me and cupped my face with his hands. "You said I could undress you."

Liam took hold of my t-shirt and waited. I nodded. He slowly lifted my shirt up and over my head before dropping it to the ground. He tilted his head as if contemplating and gently turned me around.

I felt Liam gather my hair and put it over my shoulder. He caressed my back with his fingertips, making me shiver with pleasure. I heard him give a satisfied hum before undoing my bra. He turned me around again and took hold of my bra straps, pulling them down my arms.

When I dropped my bra beside my shirt, Liam took a step back. He looked me up and down, his eyes hungry. I wanted to cover myself under his intense gaze, my earlier courage wavering under his scrutiny.

My arms started to move, and he gave me a stern look. "You're not thinking of hiding now, are you?"

I shook my head and forced my arms back by my sides. "Good, because I want to look. You're quite the sight." As if to emphasise his point, he adjusted himself through his pants. I felt a thrill of excitement flow through me and felt the familiar throbbing between my legs.

Liam got down on his knees and kissed my belly. His rough stubble tickled. "Your skin is so soft," he said in a low voice. He undid my jeans and kissed a trail down as he unzipped me. His breath was warm, and I felt it through the cotton of my briefs, his last kiss placed just above my slit.

It was almost agony. I moaned at his teasing breath and lips. Then Liam pulled down my underwear and kissed my mound. I felt his tongue part my lips, and when he found what he was looking for, he flattened his tongue and moaned into me.

I didn't know what to do. For a moment, I wanted to stop Liam, but it felt too good. I could feel my resolve waning. I didn't want to wait. Why should we wait? What was I waiting for? I had to stop thinking and go with it, enjoy him, enjoy the experience. I put my fingers in his hair as he licked and sucked at me. He seemed to remember what I liked, and soon I was close to my peak.

One of his fingers played at my entrance. I silently begged for Liam to put it in. My core was desperate to be filled. His finger slowly entered me, and I was lost. I needed him. At that moment, all I wanted was to feel more of him inside me, have him fill me.

I felt like this was the moment. If I don't ask Liam now, I probably never would. If I didn't want him now, why am I even allowing this to happen? I wanted him. He excited me like no one had done since Andy. He had knocked down the defences I'd built to keep myself alone. Keep me in my grief and guilt. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to feel desired again.

"Fuck me?" I asked. The words just tumbled out. I knew at that moment I would beg if I had to. "Please, Liam, I want you to fuck me."

I wasn't sure if Liam heard me. He increased his attention, and I felt the pressure building. His hand gripped my arse, his fingers digging into my cheeks as he pulled me closer to him. The short rough hair on his cheeks and chin tickled against my thighs. My legs buckled. I couldn't stand up anymore. He held me there while I panted and moaned, seeking release.

I felt my climax arrive like a bolt of lightning. It was sudden and intense. My body contracted as waves of pleasure exploded over me. Short, wordless shouts came from my mouth until it was over. I collapsed onto the bed.

I laid there a while, eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. Liam was shuffling around and heard his belt come undone. I felt the bed dip, and I opened my eyes to find Liam naked, climbing up the bed until his face was above mine.

Liam supported some of his weight with one hand and laid on me, our whole bodies skin to skin. He was warm to touch, and he almost felt hot to my now cooled skin.

"Ask me again," Liam said.

Part 8

#original story #original fiction #romantic story

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girlsluvbot · 4 years

Text

MATCHMAKER pt.1

pairing: roseanne park × fem! reader

genre: fluff, angst

about:

matchmaker /ˈmatʃmeɪkə/

noun

a person who arranges marriages or initiates romantic relationships between others.

"an enthusiastic matchmaker who continually tried to pair off the difficult bachelor with unattached ladies"

a/n: i'm back!!! hehe this goddamn thing took so long to write, i both despise and adore it with every fibre of my being. enjoy my blood, sweat and tears in the form of a fic.

You loved your job. Very few people are lucky enough to be able to relate to that statement, and you were thankfully one of them. Hell, not only did you love your job, you were extremely good at it.

Since you were a little kid, writing nas always been your biggest passion. Wether it was writing short stories, poems or essays about the french revolution, you were always happy when you were able to put your feelings and thoughts onto paper. This was the main reason why you became the manager of your local newspaper during middle school, high school and eventually even university.

You've won multiple writing contests and even people who had no idea what your name was knew one thing about you: you were an amazing writer.

Years of practice, your impeccable set of skills and a recommendation letter from your university professor secured you a job at Vogue almost immediately. After all this hard work, you finally achieved everything you were looking for. You were truly happy.

Until this very moment.

"Well, I don't know," the woman sitting in front of you made a disgusted grimace, "it just lacks any emotion whatsoever. I've quite literally never read something so stiff and akward."

And here they were. The first words of criticism you have ever recieved. You were so used to everyone praising your work, you didn't know how to react or respond.

Three months ago, you would have never gotten into a similar situation: simply because there was nothing about your work to critize. But a lot has changed in the past few weeks, and not exactly in the good kind of way.

When you first joined Vogue, you were the head editor and journalist of the spread dedicated almost entirely to interviews. Thats what you did, talked to celebrities and wrote about them. And that's what you were good at, almost too good.

Just a year after working in the magazine you got promoted. You were still the head editor, but now of a completely different part of the journal: one dedicated to a single topic. Love. This was bad news, very bad news.

Why, you ask? The reason was fairly simple but no less embarrassing. Even as the head editor of a spread all about love, you've never experienced it yourself. In other words, you've never been in love. And how are you supposed to write about something you know nothing about?

Your boss looks at you and shakes her head. She reaches for the stack of papers on the table in front of her and starts reading, "For example; 'His lips brushed against mine. They were soft. The kiss was short but sweet. I loved it.' What the actual heck? I kiss my cat more passionately than this." she took off her glasses and started massaging the crook of her nose.

"Listen, Y/N, I've read your previous pieces and they were simply wonderful. But this? I don't even know what else to say without hurting your feelings."

"I'm so sorry. I know, it's just that I dont have much experience in said area." you don't finish the sentence, hoping she somehow gets the memo. She doesn't.

"What area?"

"Love. I dont have much experience with love." you blurt out the words that have been on your mind nonstop since the day of your promotion.

"Oh, you poor thing" she leans back in her chair, her eyes scanning your every move, "Isn't that unfortunate."

You nod your head slowly, trying not to get offended at her words full of pity.

"How are you supposed to write romance stories then? This won't work." the woman grabs a post-it note

"Are," your voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, "Are you firing me?"

"Are you crazy? Of course I'm not," she hands you the piece of paper with a phone number, "We just have to improvise for the time being. Do you know Roseanne Park? She's the manager of our Matchmaker spread. You can be her assistant for the next few months, help her around, learn a thing or two. Hopefully your writing wont be so...bland after."

To be completely honest, you didn't handle changes well. Maybe that's why you were standing in front of your new, and hopefully temporary, bosses office, trying to build up the courage to knock on her door.

One of the reasons why you were so nervous was that Roseanne Park, the manager of the Vogue Matchmaker was insanely attractive. Admittedly, you did some online stalking the night before- okay, a lot of it. Here's the thing; you were a planner. Whether it came to your career, writing or even relationships, you liked to beprepared.

That's why after a few hours spent on the internet, you knew everything. The name of her sister (Alice Park), if the had a pet (yes, a fish named Joohwangie) and who her favorite band was (The 1975).

You weren't usually like this, so head over heels for a girl you haven't even met. But your writing, the reason you were here in the first place, didn't usually suck so after all, some things really do change easily.

Just as you reached for the dark wooden door in front of you, it opened before your hand could even touch it's sleek surface.

"Oh!" the tall woman stopped in her tracks. Thanks to your thorough internet digging, you instantly recognized her. Roseanne Park. Your new boss. A 'matchmaker' if you will.

"You must be Y/N! I've heard that you're going to be my assistant for a bit." your cheeks heated up for no apparent reason. Did she know the reason why you got transferred here so quickly? Every molecule in your body wished and prayed to every possible god out there that she didn't.

"Yeah, that's me!" you finally composed yourself enough to speak, but that didn't mean your voice didn't sound like one of a twelve year old boy going through puberty- high pitched and squeaky.

You examined her face more in depth, and realized quite a few things:

She was somehow even prettier in real life. How? you had no idea. Some people just really won the genetics lottery, you thought.

Her hair was red. Like undeniably, undoubtedly red. In all of the pictures you found yesterday it was either brown or black, so this change caught you off guard. You couldn't complain though, because this girl looked like a hotter version of Ariel with a much better sense in fashion (and music).

"Have you been standing out here for too long?"

"Oh no, I just arrived." lying has never been so easy.

"Great! I'm gonna go downstairs to grab a package but you can look around the office while I'm gone," she opened the door a bit to let you walk in.

You did as she told you and entered the room. The door closed behind you without you noticing, the only thing you could focus on was this girl's office. It looked just like you would imagine heaven to look like- full of light, white furniture and expensive looking leather couches.

There were pictures everywhere: a dozen of four young girls (one of them being Roseanne), a few more of her with famous celebrities and one of a familiar looking face- her sister.

You carefully walked towards the table in the middle of the room, not wanting to damage anything. You noticed quite a bit of unexpected clutter, and above everything a print of the brand new Vogue issue. A woman on the cover flashed you a beautiful smile as you picked it up. The headline stated: Kim Jisoo talks acting, NYFW and love.

You flipped the glossy magazine pages to find the spread dedicated to said interview and noticed just what you were looking for: the author of the article. The credits at the bottom of the page revealed a nice surprise- Author; Roseanne Park.

"Well what do you think? Is it a good article?" your soul almost left your body when you realized who was standing next to you. You quickly put the magazine down, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to touch your stuff. I just saw the cover and..."

"Oh my gosh, are you kidding? That's completely okay, I don't mind." she pointed to the journal, "That interview is actually one of the favorite pieces I ever wrote, and not just because it's about Jisoo. Plus, my friend took the pictures, so it was extra fun." She opened the spread again and pointed to a name credited right next to hers, Photographer; Lalisa Manoban.

"Oh wow. I've seen her pictures before, they're really good. I with I could take photos like that. Seriously."

Here's one thing to note: when you're nervous, you ramble. Like a lot. Some people would say its better than staying silent, but let's be honest- it's like stepping into a puddle instead of mud. Not a disaster, but there's still plenty to complain about.

Thankfully, Roseanne only giggled, "I know exactly what you mean. I hope you'll get to work with her someday."

You both stared at the magazine spread for a second before Roseanne broke the silence.

"But now, let's get to bussines. Sit down please, this might take a while," she pointed tkwards one of the leather couches you noticed earlier and took a seat at the other side of the table.

"So, as you probably already know, my name is Roseanne Park. As a manager of Matchmaker, my job is to read these letters," she grabben a handful of papers for emphasis, "and respond to them, give advixe basically. The title 'Matchmaker' comes from the fact that the majority of the letters talk about love. Any questions so far?"

When you shook your head no, she continued, "As my assistant, your job is fairly simple. You're going to sort and read through the hundreds of letters I recieve weekly and pick the most interesting ones for me to feature. And occasionally, you might accompany me to a few interviews. Sounds good?"

You slowly nodded, processing all the new information. Letters, answers, interviews and a hot boss. That doesn't sound so bad.

"Great. So Y/N," she suddenly stood up, "Would you mind going with me to Subway? I'm starving."

By the time you were finished with lunch, you had a new point to add to your list of realizations about your new boss:

She loves food, and by loves I mean LOVES.

The moment you arrived at the restaurant, food was the only thing she would talk about. She told you about what she had for dinner and breakfast, what kind of snacks she hid in the office and what kind of salad she was getting alongside a baguette.

After she actually managed to get a bit of calories into her system (thanks to a foot-long chicken turkey sandwich) the conversation finally got more interesting.

Don't get me wrong, you could listen to this girl talk for hours, no matter the topic. But after listening to a thirty minute long monologue about why pineapple pizza is the best thing ever invented, even you have reached your limit.

"So," you start, in an effort to break the ice, "how long have you been working at Vogue?"

She squints at the toast in front of her, trying to remember, "About five years? Yeah, it's gonna be five years in May."

"Oh wow, that's impressive."

She tilts her head, "Is it? I mean, when you work as often as I do, time just goes by. I don't even remember the last time I went out with my friends to discuss something that wasn't work related."

You pout, regretting the choice to ask her about work.

"But at the same time, I love what I do so I can't really complain. What about you though? Why did you decide to become a journalist?"

"Oh, I started just a year ago. And I studied literature, so I guess becoming a journalist made sense."

"Why did you study literature then? There's so many other better paying jobs out there."

"I don't think anyone works in such a field for money, that's for sure," you try to lighten the atmosphere, "Well, my mom wanted to become a writer, but she got pregnant before she could finish her book and she's been pretty much busy ever since. I guess her love for books kind of rubbed off on me."

Roseanne nods, to let you know she's listening. "I'm glad you and your mom have such an important aspect of your lives in common. My mother wanted me to become a lawyer, I doubt she's ever read even a single fiction book in her entire life."

"What does she think about your job now?"

Her lips tighten and she crosses her arms. "I don't know. I haven't talked to her since," her eyes seem empty, their signature spark gone. You can tell you struck a nerve. "I haven't talked to her since I moved out."

"Well, I'm sure that she's proud of you," you can't help but add.

Rosie lets out a dry laugh, "You don't know my mother then," she slowly pushes her plate away, "I think I'm full so I'm gonna head back to the office."

Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut. You learned this the hard way.

You head back after your lunch break ends, alone. Even though Roseanne walked you through everything she expects you to help around with, you know that your job doesn't start and end with sorting through letters.

You softly knock on the office door before heading in. She's already sitting there, behind her desk. Without looking up from her laptop, she scoffs, "You're late."

"It's just five minutes," you shrug, not taking her tone seriously. Finally, she raises her sight to meet yours. Even without her saying anything, you understand. Do not play around with fire.

You mumble an apology and quickly run to the small hallway at the other side of the room which leads to your own (significantly smaller) office.

"What makes you think I'm done?" Turning around, you notice that her eyes are piercing through your back. Unsure of what she expects you to do, you walk back in front of her.

"While you were out there doing god knows what for two hours," you resist the urge to roll your eyes, "I already did your job and sorted through the letters. You're welcome."

She walks around the table and pushes a thick stack of papers against your chest, "That means you'll be doing my job and write replies to them. Can you handle that?"

You try not to show her how terrified you are. You? Giving relationship advice? Sounds like a recipe for a royal disaster. Instead, you rise your chin and smile, "Yes ma'am."

She visibly winces at the formal title, but still nods and returns to her seat. You take this as a sign to head back to your spot and do your job. Well, her job for now.

You sit down calmly and shuffle through the papers, trying not to look too freaked out. What the heck are you going to do now?

A quick peek at your boss reveals that she's either busy with work or just flat out ignoring you.

Trying to remain collected, you pick out the top letter from the pile. The first paragraph reads:

Hi Rosie! I'm a huge fan of your Matchmaker spread :) I never thought I'd be the one writing you a message but here we are hahaha. (Let's hope this gets featured!)

You roll your eyes but continue reading,

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for just about two months and I would describe our relationship as 'lowkey'. We first met at a bar a last year but we surprisingly didn't immediately hit it off.

With a raised eyebrow you skip over a page full of sappy descriptions and relationship stories, before getting to the end of the letter.

So what should I do? He's really sweet but I'm not sure if I'm ready to meet his family just yet.... please help! Love, Courtney.

You fold the paper back to it's original state with a quiet gulp. What on earth did you get yourself into?

#blackpink #blackpink scenarios #park chaeyoung #rosé #rosé fluff #rosé angst #rosé smut #rosé x reader #girlfriend rosé #blackpink rosé #blackpink rose #rose angst #rose fluff #blckpink fluff #blackpink angst #blackpink smut #roseanne park #rosé park

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maxiskindahere · 4 years

Text

i hope that you burn - Parrlyn

based on Burn from Hamilton the musical, Congratulations & first burn

In which Catherine Parr cheats on her wife with Thomas Seymour and decides to post an article about it online. In response? Anne, Anna & Kitty f+ck sh!t up

“Anne?” A voice says at the girls door, Anne, confused, quickly opens it, a smile gracing her face as she sees her cousin and her best friend, “Kit, Anna, what’s up?” She asks softly, still slightly confused as to why the girls were here, they had just got back from New York an hour or so before, wanting to surprise the other Queens, neither of the 3 others knew they would return today, and lucky for them, it was a show day so they wouldn’t be home til late

“Have you read it?” Anna asks quickly, getting her phone out, “read what?” Anne asks in confusion, Anna nervously glances at Kitty before handing Anne the phone

Anne smiles as she notices its writing from Cathy, assuming it was one of her many love letters “The Seymour pamphlet?” Anne mumbles in confusion as she finally reads the title

“The charge against me is a connection with ‘Mrs. Seymour’ as it has been assumed I have been using the other Queens money to pay her for several things, accused by none other than Catalina de Aragon and Jane Seymour. But my real crime is an amorous connection with her husband, and my dear friend Janes brother, Thomas... for a considerable time, with their knowing consent.” Anne reads out, hurt clear in her voice at the end of the sentence

“I had frequent meetings with him, most of which at the Queens house, while Ms. Boleyn-Parr was with her cousin and her friend on a visit to New York.” Anne couldn’t take it anymore as tears roll down her cheeks “No..” She mumbles as she shut off the phone and fell to the floor, holding her legs to her chest

“Annie... are you okay?” Katherine asks softly, though she already knew the answer, “I saved every letter she wrote me...” Anne mumbles shakingly, as she looks up at the two “She said she was mine..” Anne whispers, unable to control her tears

“I thought she was mine...” Anne says looking at the two with tears falling from her face as they go to her side, Anna softly rubs her friends back, “Do you remember what I told you when we saw her first letter arrive?” Anna asks softly

Anne nods, looking down in shame for letting her heart control her yet again, “Be careful with that one, Anne, just like Henry, she will do what it takes to survive.” Anne quotes, all she felt was pain and it was so much worse then how she felt with Henry

“Her and her words flooded by senses, her sentences left me defenseless... she built me palaces out of paragraphs... she built cathedrals.” Anne scoffs lightly, as she wipes her tears away, anger now flooding her senses as she stands up, walking over to her fireplace as she opens a box filled with her and Cathys letters to each other

She use to find it romantic how Cathy would write to her, it would make her feel as if she was wanted...

Anne began rereading the letters as an anger builds up, “Anne what are you doing?” Kitty asks softly noticing the girl glaring at a letter

“I’m rereading the letters she wrote me...” Anne mumbles in annoyance before reading ‘I’m yours and only yours, forever.’ and felt herself tear up yet again

“I’m searching and scanning for answers in every line or some kind of sign..” Anne says softly as a tear drops onto the page “When she was mine... the world seemed to burn..” Anne whispers as she reads ‘When I am apart from you, my heart burns to see you once again, my love’

“Anne... Cathy published the letters he wrote to her.” Katherine says softly, not wanting to set her cousin off again, Anne scoffs, “Of course she has told the whole world how she brought this girl into our bed...” Anne says in annoyance and hurt

“In clearing her name she has ruined your life.” Anna comments, Anne shakes her head, “She has ruined our lives.” Anne corrects the girl, Anna smiles slightly at the girls correction

“Anne, she is so much like Henry, except this time it wasn’t for sons.” Kitty tells the girl, Katherines anger towards Catherine grew as she saw the devistated look on her cousins face

“you and your words obsessed with a legacy, your sentences border on senseless, you were paranoid in every paragraph.. on how they perceived you.. you... you.. you...” Anne whispers as she glares down at the paper in her hands before throwing it in the fireplace

“Anne what are you doing?” Anna asks quickly, Anne looks at her friend as tears roll down her cheeks “I’m erasing myself from the narrative, let’s future historians wonder how Anne Boleyn reacted when she broke my heart...” Anne says in response before throwing more letters into the fire

“She’s torn it all apart i’m watching it burn...” Anne whispers as she stares at the fire, Anna and Kitty glance at the girl before standing beside her “We’re watching it burn.” Anna says softly, trying to show her support

“Anything else you want to get out, Annie?” Kitty asks softly, knowing her cousin well enough to know she was not finished

“The world has no right to my heart, the world has no place in our bed, they don’t get to know what I said, I’m burning our memories, burning the letters that might have redeemed her.” Anne whispers, her voice getting louder near the end

“She’s forfeit all rights to my heart, shes forfiet the place in my bed, she can sleep in Thomas’ room instead, while I’m left with the memories of when she was mine.” Anne says, hurt clear in her voice as she tries to hold back the tears but it didn’t work as the girl lets out choked sobs as Katherine rubs her back soothingly

“I hope that she burns for what she’s done to you.” Anna mumbles in annoyance as stares at her distraught friend

Anna was left downstairs as Anne and Katherine stayed upstairs, waiting for the others to arrive home, ready to give Catherine Parr a strongly worded talk

Jane, Catalina and Cathy were beyond shocked to see Anna on the couch as they entered the house, Cathy felt herself panic, “Where’s Annie?” Cathy asks in a panic, Anna scoffs “It’s Anne to you.” She hisses in Anger

“Leave her be, Anna.” Jane demands, not wanting to see her friends fight “Quiet, Seymour.” Is all Anna says in response, “Anna...” Cathy tries to say but Anna cuts her off

“Parr, Congratulations. You have invented a new kind of stupid, a damage you can never undo kind of stupid, an open all the cages in the zoo kind of stupid, clearly, you didn’t think this true, kind of stupid.” Anna starts off in anger, “I’m not stupid.” Cathy says in anger, not taking well to being called stupid

“Let’s review, you took a rumour only these two knew and refuted it by sharing an affair of which no one has accused you! Anne begged you to take a break yet you refused to.” Anna says with a forced laugh before stepping closer to Cathy

“So scared of what your enemies might do to you, you’re the only enemy you ever seem to lose to, you know why so many compare you to Henry? it’s because you both dignify school yard taunts with a response so yeh! Congratulations.” Anna says as she steps closer with every word “Anna...” Cathy starts, not noticing the pink headed girl behind Anna

“You’ve redefined your legacy! Congratulations!” Anna says sarcastically, but before she could say more, Cathy cuts her off “It was an sacrifice that I had to make!” She yells at Anna

Kitty scoffs making herself known “Sacrifice? what do you know about sacrifices.” Katherine says in anger as she glares at all 3 of the Queens in front of her and Anna

“Anne has languished in a loveless marriage before, yet she lives only to read your letters, I look at you and think god what have we let Anne do with her life and what did it get her?” Kitty says with a sigh before looking at Anna, as if telling her to say something

“What ever you say won’t wipe the tears or the years away, because we’re all back to life and we’re all here to stay... but Katherine and I know what we’re here to do..” Anna says softly, though it’s clear to see the anger on her face

“Anna, Kitty-” Catalina tries to say but Kitty cuts her off “We’re not here for you.” She says in anger glaring at all three of them

“I know my cousin like I know my own mind you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind and what feels like a million years ago she said to us ‘This ones mine.’ so we stood by, do you know why?” Kitty asks, but leaves no room for an answer

“We love my cousin more than anything in this life, we would sacrifice our happiness for hers every time, Anne is the best thing in our lives, but it seems you have lost sight to the fact that you had the best wife!” Katherine yells, unknowningly causing Anne to start making her way down stairs

“Congratulations! For the rest of your lives, very sacrifice you make from now is for my sister give her the best life.” Anna says, Anne felt herself smile at the fact Anna called her sister

“Congratulations.” Anna and Katherine day in sync, “Gold star for Cathy Parr.” Anne says softly, her voice hoarse from crying, “Anne..” All 5 Queens say in sync

Cathy steps forward, wanting nothing more to hold Anne in her arms “Dont take another step in my direction, I can’t be trusted around you.” Anne says in anger, both at herself and Cathy

“Love....” Cathy tries to start but Anna cuts her off “Don’t think you can’t talk your way into her arms.” Anna says in anger, defending the girl she saw as a sister

“Anna, it’s fine.” Anne says softly, smiling slightly but it drops as soon as she remembers Cathy “I burned all the letters you wrote me, you can stand over there if you want, but I don’t know who you are, God I have so much to learn, I reread all your letters and watched them all burn.” Anne informs Cathy, who looks heartbroken at the thought of her letters being burned

“You published the letters he wrote you, you told the whole world how you brought this guy into our bed, in clearing your name, you have ruined all of our lives.” Anne says in anger, stepping back when Cathy steps forward

“Heaven forbid someone whispers ‘shes part of some scheme’.” Anna mumbles to Kitty who laughs lightly, but all the Queens heard her “Your best friends whispered so you had to scream, I know about all the whispers, I seen how you’ve looked at my sister.” Anne comments, referencing to the time where Cathy was overheals in love with Anna, though she believed no one knew

Cathy goes to speak but Anne cuts her off “Don’t! I’m not as naive as you think, I have seen women and men around you, don’t think I don’t see how they fall for your charms, all of your charms.” Anne says, tears in her eyes yet again as she thought of her wife with another

“I’m erasing myself from your narrative, let the future historians wonder how I rested when you broke my heart, you have torn it apart, now you get to watch it burn.” Anne sneers at Cathy, referencing to both what she said earlier and the letters burning

“and when the time comes, you can explain to the Queendom the pain and embarrassment you put the second Queen through.” Anna comments, Anne nods “It was for my legacy, Anne!” Cathy yells, causing Anne to involuntary flinch

“When will you learn that we are your legacy? the Queendom is your legacy!” Anne yells back, she turns to walk away before pausing in her steps “Oh and if you thought you were still mine, don’t. Go back to Thomas.” Anne says, her back turned to the Queens before she walks upstairs

“Anne...” Cathy mumbles in sadness watching the love of her life walk away, “If anything, and I mean anything, happens to Anne because of this you are dead Parr.” Katherine threatens before running to make sure Anne’s okay

“Kit..” Cathy whispers, it hurt to see her closest friends hate her “You’ve lost the privilege to call her that, it’s Howard to you.” Anna glares at the girl

“Anna she’s been through enough.” Catalina says softly, Anna scoffs “Oh? has she? my best friend, my sister is devastated.” Anna says in anger

“She wanted to surprise Cathy today with gifts from New York, expensive gifts from NY, yet she comes back to find out her wife cheated on her.” Is all Anna says before joining the two Queens upstairs

sorry not sorry lmaooo

#broadway #musicals #six #theatre #parrlyn #six the musical #six incorrect quotes #hamilton #angst #eliza schuyler #burn #angelica schuyler

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dearchikkie · 4 years

Text

Blue Knight

MARICHAT MAY 2020

Day 7: Disguise

A/N: SORRY!! This is a day late, I know. But my wifi went out yesterday and only went back online, well, now! I'm so sorry about this: I will be posting a day late now, which will probably annoy most of you, but I hope you forgive me, enjoy :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Princess look! It's finally out!" on a warm Saturday morning, Marinette's peaceful routine of eating breakfast atop her rooftop was abruptly interrupted but Paris' own superhero, Chat Noir.

"Chat, I'm eating breakfast!"

"Just look!"

Marinette grumbled and placed her plate beside her. When she focused on the poster, she realized just why he was so excited, "Blue Knight is out? Are you sure?"

Chat nodded eagerly, "They have three showings today: one in an hour; another at 3 and a midnight showing!"

"We have to go!"

Chat nodded profusely, his eyes practically star-shaped as he grinned at Marinette. "I can get us good seats!"

"And then you can come back after and we'll read all the theories about it!"

"And you could bake snacks for us after!"

"And drinks!"

"Yes! This is perfect!"

The duo collapsed onto Marinette's beanbag, grinning at seemingly just the sky. Suddenly, Marinette stood up with a solemn look on her face. It seemed quite strange for a girl practically bursting with excitement five seconds ago was now suddenly looking so glum, "But we can't."

"What?" Chat stood up now, his smile replaced with on of concern, "What do you mean?"

"We can't go together,"

"Why not?"

"Because you're you!" Marinette waved her hands, gesturing towards Chat.

"I don't understand, me being a superhero never bothered you before,"

"It doesn't! I'm fine with it, but..." Marinette led Chat back to the beanbag, running her hands through his blonde waves, "Imagine what would happen if they saw Chat Noir watching a movie with a civilian? We'd get mobbed! My family would be put under scrutiny by the media and everyone I know would start asking about you. Alya doesn't even know how close we are!"

He didn't wanna admit it, but Marinette was right. When they went to the movies in his civilian form girls still flocked him. Adrien Agreste was a celebrity, reporters would swarm him for questioning, then leave if he didn't have any gossip to share.

With Chat Noir, ANYTHING was enough for them. He was a superhero! A protector! The only time he was out [to their knowledge] was when everyone was in danger, so there was barely any time to talk to him before he dipped.

If anyone got wind that Chat Noir was watching a movie with a civilian, the media would go wild. Marinette's family would be harassed daily, Chat couldn't do that to them.

"...I guess you're right,"

The pair sat back to back, weight pushing against each other. "Maybe I could go with you in my civilian form?"

"And reveal your identity?"

"Point taken."

The once exhilarating air surrounding them had turned sour. Chat wished he could just ask Marinette as Adrien to go, but he doubted she'd agree. She was so carefree with Chat or Alya, even with Nino!

But with Adrien, she always seemed on edge; stuttering, tripping over herself, sometimes she wouldn't even look him in the eye. She seemed more comfortable with him now, but still wasn't as close as he wished they were.

"You should just go with, Alya. I can watch it detransformed with someone else,"

"I know, but I don't think Alya likes this series, and I really wanted to watch it with y-" Marinette quieted. Her head now turned away as she covered her face, "It just makes more sense for us to watch it together."

"Then we should!"

"Chat!"

"There has to be a way for us to go! I don't want to go with anyone besides you!"

Marinette blushed at the revelation, but smiled none the less, "I want to go with you too, but how?"

Her words hung in the air as Chat mauled over them, his mind traced back to a similar scenario, "We could disguises!"

"Disguises?"

"Yeah! Thick glasses, heavy coats, face masks..."

"That could work..." Marinette paused in thought, then sighed, "It'll take the attention away from you as a person, but only attract attention to us both. If I saw two heavily dressed people going to the movies I'd pay more attention to them than some random teens walking around,"

Again, Marinette was right. As she always was. "There has to be some form of disguise we can use. Think back to the last Blue Knight opening, was there anyone dressed weirdly? Some kind of "Royal-League" jacket we could wear?"

The noirette thought back to the last opening; it was in winter so everyone was decked out in thicker clothing, a few girls in matching Royal-League dresses, one with a wig, normal attire, normal attire, normal attire... oh.

"There is something we can wear, but I don't know how you'll feel about it,"

"Really? What? I'll wear anything!"

"I made them a while ago, but mine still fits me and I can tailor the other to fit you-"

"I'm sure they're amazing, Princess. Now tell me what I'll be wearing tonight!"

"You promise not to think it's dumb?"

"Trust me, It's impossible to look dumb in anything you make,"

✧✬✧

"We look dumb."

"What?" Chat spun around and glared at Marinette, "No we don't. We look amazing!"

Marinette had been reluctant to tell Chat her plan, but it was the only thing she could think off. Now, standing in the middle of Paris' centre movie theatre was Chat Noir and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Only, they weren't. Marinette was dressed in an Egyptian blue medieval gown with faded white ruffles splitting down the middle. In a dress this beautiful, you'd assume the wearer would be overjoyed at the honour of wearing it. Marinette took to instead keeping her flushed face shoved into her hands as she scowled at Chat from his side.

Chat, on the other hand, was dressed in a linen black shirt with thick matching pants tucked into his navy boots. Marinette made sure to include the signature weapons belt, a matching cloak with its hood hanging over Chat's head and a black bandana that covered his nose and mouth, as well as his identity.

Now that Marinette saw him wearing it, he truly did look like a rogue thief, perfectly in line with his character.

Cosplay was something neither Marinette nor Chat [despite prancing around in a leather cat suit] had done before, but Chat had seemed delighted at the thought of it. He'd pulled the cloak and shirt on with no hesitation and didn't blink an eye when he was forced to tuck his pants into his boots.

No more was Chat Noir and Marinette. Today, they were Ash 'Shade' Carter; an on-the-run thief accidentally mixed up in royal business; and Cecilia North; a girl forced to marry royalty on her mother's wishes.

"We should go pick up our tickets, you got the link?" Marinette was pulled out of her trance at the sound of Chat's voice. When she looked up, it took a few seconds for her to realize that it was really Chat in front of her and not some friendly akuma.

"Yup! Let me get out my phone," the pair approached the front counter as Marinette fiddled around in her purse. Finally, she took out her phone and pulled up the online booking page.

The woman at the counter smiled warmly at the two, scanning the screens QR-code, "That'll be 24 euros. Want any snacks or drinks?"

"We'll have two soda's and one jumbo popcorn,"

"Gotcha, butter or caramel?"

"Uh..." Marinette looked back at Chat, "Which do you prefer?"

"Is Caramel ok?"

Marinette turned back towards the woman, who nodded and started shovelling popcorn into a large container. "You both look pretty great, Blue Knight I'm guessing?"

"Yes, we're Cecilia and Shade!" Chat excitedly answered, once again forming his star-shaped eyes, "Mari made these herself!"

"Chat!" hissed Marinette, eyes narrowing at the energized superhero. The woman stared at the to with a knowing look in her eyes, mouth upturned almost to say 'Ah. I understand completely!'

"She did an amazing job then, they look professional! And what affectionate nicknames you both have. 'Chat', got anything to do with the Chat Noir?"

The pair stilled at her words, Chat gulped rather loudly as he looked to Marinette for help, "No! No, no. It's related to, to uh..."

"His name is Chatwyn! Yes, that's it! His mother is English, very proper you know?"

If the woman was suspicious, she didn't show it, merely handing over their drinks and popcorn along with two tickets. "Your total is 42.60 euros,"

Chat reached into his pockets but Marinette pushed him aside, handing over an orange bill, "Here you go,"

"Marinette! I'm told you I'd pay for this,"

"No way am I letting you pay, I'm the one forcing you into a costume!"

"But I like being in this costume! I look good-- We both do! Now let me pay," Chat shoved another orange bill onto the counter while the woman grinned at them both. Marinette tried to push her bill forward, but the woman had already grabbed Chat's money and rung it up. Chat gave a smug grin, to which Marinette only scowled.

"You two go enjoy your movie, now."

The teens nodded in thanks then left towards their cinema, "I don't know how I'm going to last. My arms are so itchy," complained Marinette, extending her arms to show off the long velvet sleeves, "I should have added a softer inner material,"

"Princess, look at me," bandaged arms wiggled in front of Marinette's face as Chat pointed towards the many straps crossed over his chest, "You wrapped me up like a mummy, I can barely walk without feeling a strap pull me back!"

"I thought you liked your costume."

"Of course I do! But when I take them off and my skins turned red, you're the one that's gonna have to heal me back to health,"

Marinette laughed, "Whatever you say, Chaton."

✧✬✧

"Oh my god." Marinette stumbled out of the theatre, hazard rocking back and forth, a dazed expression coating her face.

Chat followed behind her, tripping over himself in a similar manner, "That was..."

"That was..."

"That was INCREDIBLE!" no longer was Chat alone in his star-struck grins. The pair smiled wider than anyone had ever seen before, cheeks flushed as they babbled on and on, "I can't believe they did that! Cecilia looked so amazing in the Red Knight armour!"

"I know!" gushed Chat, "her and Shade's fight scene is probably the best thing I've ever seen!"

"The cliffhanger though! What's gonna happen in the next movie?"

"They have to make Cecilia dump Matthew. I didn't think the wedding would actually go through!"

"Me neither!" giggled Marinette. The pair's heated conversation came to a halt when a boy their age blocked their path. Chat tried not to stare at the poorly died purple hair, but he could only resist so much, "Sorry, could you move over?"

"Ah! Of course, but do you mind if I as you a few questions first?"

A picture? Why would he- Oh! Marinette stared down at her and Chat's costumes, she had been so enthralled with the movie she had forgotten the over-the-top disguises they'd used to even get in.

"I'm fine with that, but it's really up to Mari," Chat glanced over at Marinette, unease settling over his face.

Thankfully, the noirette painted a small smile over her face, "Sure! We can answer a question or two,"

"Great!" the boy handed his camera to a girl behind them. She angled herself a few feet away then did a thumbs-up, "This is all live on my twitch, by the way, so don't answer anything... inappropriate."

They both tinged pink, "O-Of course not."

"Ok! So, I love your cosplays, where did you buy them?"

"Mari made them herself!"

"Really? That's really impressive, do you have any social media for my viewers to see you on?"

"Ah! I..." Marinette tried to think back to all accounts, but none of them were for her fashion, "Not at the moment, but maybe in the future!"

The boy seemed unsure, but soon after reapplied his smile and winked at Marinette, "I hope to see it when it's launched! Speaking of your cosplays, do you mind pulling down your hood? Why don't we see Shade without his entire face covered?"

The colour drained from Chat's face as he automatically moved back, "I, uh, would prefer to keep the hood on, if that's alright?" the boy stilled, his smile straightening out into a thing tense line.

"Ah." silence surrounded the trio, Marinette and Chat staring unsurely at each other as the boy narrowed his eyes at the blue hood. Eventually, the girl behind the camera snapped her fingers, gaining the boy's attention,

"Ok! We've gotta run soon, so get in tight for a picture with you all!" a sinister smile reappeared on the boys face as he threw his arms over Chat and Marinette's shoulders.

"Ok, Carrie! Make sure you get us all in," Chat and Marinette plastered wavy smiles across their face, then stared into the camera.

"Say cheese!"

"Cheese!"

Just as the words left Chat's lips, he could feel his hood ve ripped off the top of his head. Marinette turned just as Chat's ears were revealed and instantly clung to the fabric. Unfortunately, she grabbed too low and ripped off his bandana.

People around them gasped, Chat could feel his eyes widening as he wordlessly begged Marinette for help. She tried covering his face, but it was too late.

"Oh sh-"

"CHAT NOIR!" instantly, Marinette and Chat turned to each other mouths wording the same thing:

"Run!" Chat grabbed her hand and leapt into action, sprinting towards the nearest exit. A group of fans ran in front of them, phones out as they recorded the scene. Marinette pushed Chat to the side, side-stepping the group and reuniting with Chat on the other side.

When they escaped outside, they were greeted with an even bigger crowd of fans, all searching the area for them,

"There's nowhere to go- they're everywhere!" Marinette glanced down at her purse, where Tikki stared back up, her panicked face matching Marinette's own.

"Ok. You're not gonna like it, but there's only one way we can escape,"

"Chat, where would that be?"

"Trust me."

"What do you mean trust yo-" Chat grabbed Marinette and swung her legs up, holding her bridal position, "Chat?"

"Hold on tight!" Chat grabbed his baton and extended them both up. Marinette screamed as the ground rapidly got further and further. She'd been at heights much more dangerous than this as Ladybug of course, but without the safety of the suit and her yoyo, this suddenly become increasingly terrifying.

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut, arms gripping Chat's neck as tight as she could manage, "Princess, it's ok. Open your eyes,"

She desperately didn't want to. But she was Ladybug; a superhero who feared nothing, she could manage to muster up some bravery without the suit.

When she opened her eyes, she was met with thousands of lights all glowing in the night air. Windows shone with warm light, reflecting in the et streets. Chat led them towards the Seine river, the water glimmering under all the bright lights. Marinette reprimanded herself internally for not going out as Ladybug enough.

"Chat, it's beautiful,"

Chat glanced down at Marinette, eyes focusing in on her deep blue, then at the small smile now formed on her lips, "Beautiful is an understatement."

BONUS:

Alya sat alone in bed scrolling through Tumblr, occasionally reposting ladynoir fan art. Suddenly, a flash of blue caught her attention:

CHAT NOIR SPOTTED COSPLAYING AT BLUE KNIGHT PREMIER [LIVE]!

Wait, didn't Marinette like that series? If this movie is such a big deal she'll hopefully have gone today. Alya reminded herself to text Marinette about it later.

Despite her excitement, Alya knew clickbait when she saw it. There was no way Chat Noir was just casually hanging around a theatre in costume. Most likely, Chat Noir probably would be seen dropping from out a window, and maybe with all the blue around him, it would look like he was dressed up.

Alya clicked the link and was brought to a reupload of a Twitch streamer's latest stream. It started with a purple boy walking around the theatre, asking people questions about the movie.

Alya scanned the footage with reporter-trained eyes; if she was going to see Chat Noir she had to be focusing on the background. A flash of blonde outside a window, or even just shiny black leather somewhere.

The young reporter started skipping over the interview segments and nearer to the end where [approximately] Chat Noir would have been 'spotted'. But a flash of blue stopped her in her tracks.

Oh. My. God.

It was Marinette. No, it wasn't just Marinette. It was Marinette cosplaying! Cosplaying with some other guy! Who was he? It wasn't Nino, they'd been together all day. So who was this mystery man? Why hadn't Marinette told her about this?

Alya was thrilled Marinette was stepping out of her comfort zone; dressing up in her designs in a public place was something Alya never expected the noirette capable of, but she should have known better than to underestimate her best friend.

After bookmarking the page, Alya was about to skip forward again, when suddenly the masked figures hood was pulled down.

Two leather cat ears peeked out. A matching mask covering the male's face. Emerald eyes with slits instead of pupils.

"Holy sh-"

Alya was again silenced as she watched Chat grab MARINETTE'S ARM AND RUN AWAY TOGETHER.

What was going on? Marinette knew Chat Noir? Since when? Why didn't she tell Alya? And they were close enough to cosplay together?

Her mind buzzed as all the thoughts and confusions spiraled. She definitely was going to make Marinette tell her everything.

She clicked the 'Cosplay Noir' tag and scrolled down the feed. Most of it was just the same live video, clipped to show the exact part Chat was revealed, but then a certain picture showed up; Marinette being held bridal style as Chat leapt over Paris' rooftops, her dress billowing in the wind.

She looked just like a real princess.

She was going to kill Marinette.

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justanotherdeadgirlwalking · 4 years

Text

That is Just the Saddest F**king Thing I Have Ever Heard.

TW obviously DEH is about a kid’s suicide, so it has those themes

other parts :)

Part One.

Cynthia said I had to go to school today. “It’s your senior year Connor,” she said, “you can’t miss the first day,” which was just complete bullshit. I tried to compromise, “I’ll go tomorrow,” I told her. No, I had to go. Mom just wanted to get me out of the house after watching me sleep and sit in my room all summer. “Today’s a chance to go make some friends” she told me.

Look it’s not my fault that I don’t have any fucking friends, and it’s not my fault that I can’t make friends because everyone thinks of me as big, bad Connor Murphy, the freak. I’m not a freak. People just have this false idea of me in their head and have never taken the time to actually get to know me. I’ve always been a hot topic of rumors, even though I’ve never done anything really worth talking about. Except the incident in second grade. Someone explain to me why something so stupid that happened when I was 8 years old is something people still use to talk shit about me. It is still a story that gets told from time to time, “oh stay away from Connor Murphy, he’s batshit crazy. He once threw a printer at Mrs. G. because he didn’t get to be line leader” That’s not the whole story. No one knows what really happened because they weren’t even there. I mean, yes I was upset that I didn’t get to be line leader, even though it was my turn, and yes I did shove the table that the printer was on, which caused it to fall. So, I mean, I guess I threw the printer in a sense, but what does it matter? I was a child. Do you know how much embarrassing shit people did in elementary school that doesn’t get talked about because, well geez, they were children, and they’ve grown since then. Fucking Alana Beck peed her pants probably seven times that year, but we don’t talk about that. Whatever.

Most likely, no one is going to be telling that story this year. There’s some new hot gossip about me. See, I spent my junior year at a private school. It was awesome, I actually had a friend, and I was doing well, but I got kicked out. They did random locker searches, and I had weed in my locker, barley half a gram. The best part is, the weed wasn’t even mine. Not that anyone cares, not that anyone is going to ask, or listen to my side of the story. Ironically, they found so much Adderall, in probably 50 lockers, and they got away without so much as a warning. So, pills are okay, I guess, but marijuana isn’t.

Look, unlike what my parents might think, it isn’t dangerous or addicting or bad. Newsflash weed doesn’t hurt anyone. You can’t die from being too high, but pills, you can die from taking too many pills. I told them that too, I showed them statistics and research to convince them marijuana isn’t bad, they sent me to rehab to help with my ‘addiction,’ but all it did was teach me new, worse habits and prescriptions for mood stabilizers.

I’ve always been on medications to try to help me with the depression and paranoia, but I don’t like how they make me feel. Usually, I keep the pills hidden so Mom and Dad don’t catch on that I’m not taking them. I just prefer weed anyways; weed just calms me down, while the other crap I’ve been prescribed puts in a zombie like daze. I just smoke a little weed every now and then to help me get through the day.

People are going to say whatever they want, but I guess that it doesn’t help that I smell like pot anyways. That smell, no matter how many times you wash your clothes or spray your belongings with ferbreeze, never goes away. Regardless, I know I’m not the only stoner, not that I’m a stoner, but most people act like it’s a fucking personality trait to smoke. They’ll go online and post pictures of their bowls and blunts, thinking that they’re cool, but I’m a burnout freak because I smoke.

Despite my protests, I found myself in the passenger seat of Zoe’s car as she drove me to school. Some people might think it’s lame to be driven around by their little sister, but I fucking hate driving. I get too distracted, plus, other people drive like absolute nimrods. I got enough stress in my life, why add the stress of driving.

The first day of school is always a waste; you never do anything meaningful or important. People just spend the day catching up with friends, talking obnoxiously loud about their trip to Italy, or how they built houses for the homeless, and you just do ridiculous ice breakers and make nametags. It’s not like I’m going to learn anything, I’m just going to sit through hours of “two truths and a lie.” Plus, I’ll have to sit through the embarrassment of no one volunteering to guess which of my statements is the lie. No one wants to waste their time with that. Though, I will admit, I came up with some good ones this year, “My birthday is 420, I like to draw, and I have a dog.” The lie, obviously, is that I have a dog. I’ve always wanted one, but Larry has always said no, “they’re too messy.”

I try not to let other people bother me. I just focus my gaze straight ahead, walking as quick as I can to my first class, avoiding obstacles the best I can. In my opinion, people that stand in the middle of the hallway to have their conversation do not deserve rights. Hi, you, and your conversation is not more important than me trying to get to class. Have some fucking decency and at least move over to the side, Jesus Christ. On the bright side, people do tend to move out of my way. It might be out of fear, but it’s convenient. I put my head down as I cut through the middle of two people. “Hey Connor” a boy calls, “Nice hair length,” he continues, “very ‘school-shooter’ chic.” Wow, was that really necessary; did they really have to stop me to tell me that? That’s what I need too: Connor Murphy, not only a freak, but also looks like a school shooter.

I stop in my tracks with a heavy thud as my boots hit the ground. I whip around to face the voice. I look up with a narrow gaze and see Jared Kleinman and Evan Hansen. They are two nobodies like me, but I guess they think they’re better than me.

“I was just kidding” Jared stutters, “It was a joke.”

“Oh, I know.” I say, with no emotion, “I thought it was funny, I’m laughing can’t you tell?” I close the space between us until I’m in his face, towering over him. I’m not a scary person, but I am 6’3”, so my height tends to intimidate people, plus I really like wearing all black. My physical appearance is really a shell of armor, no one knows how sensitive I really am. At least, people can’t walk all over me if they are scared of me. I stare him down, “Or am I not laughing hard enough for you” I say.

I found, that if you stare at someone long enough, they will leave you alone. Mostly, because they are creeped out. It must be working, because Jared takes a step back, “you’re such a freak,” he says as he turns to make a run for it.

Evan’s still standing there, laughing quietly to himself. “What the fuck are you laughing at” I snap at him.

“N-nothing” he stutters.

I turn to him, “do you think I’m a freak.” He’s still laughing to himself. “You’re the fucking freak,” I yell as shove him.

I pause for a moment, looking down at Evan, who is now on the ground. He looks scared, like really, scared. Does he think I’m going to beat him up? Has he been beaten up before? Who hurt him? I scan his body quickly; this kid is already in a cast. Great, I just pushed an injured kid. Maybe I really am a freak. What the fuck is wrong with me? I collect myself and quickly walk away. I don’t have time to deal with this. It’ll probably be a few hours before this goes around the school.

I make it to my locker, my eyes are still on Evan, who is still on the ground. He’s been on the ground for a while, surly he should’ve stood up by now. Fuck, did I break his legs? Zoe walks up to him and helps him up. He’s fine. I watch as Zoe talks to him for a few minutes. Even my own sister isn’t on my side. Thanks Zoe, I’ll remember that the next time you want me to cover for you when you sneak out. Mom and Dad might think I’m the fucked-up child, but they have no idea what kind of shit you get into.

Each class is a blur as I sit through hours of introductions. Finally, its time for lunch. I don’t have friends to sit with, and I don’t like to give people the satisfaction of watching me sit by myself, so usually I spend the period in the library. I’m safe among the stacks. Books can’t judge you, but they can be an escape from your fucked reality. I can’t find a place to sit in the main library, so I go in the back by the computers. There’s a kid talking on his phone, but I don’t think he’ll mind my presence. I find a seat in the corner and lose myself in a book.

Suddenly, I’m snapped back into reality when the printer goes off. It scared the shit out of me. I look at the paper the printer is spitting out, “Dear Evan Hansen” the top reads. I look over to see Evan hunched over a laptop, talking to himself. I don’t think this kid has any friends either, besides Jared, but Jared’s a dick. Evan isn’t a freak like me, but he’s just someone always in the background. Everyone knows who he is, but no one cares.

I should probably apologize to him about earlier.

I grab the paper and walk over to him, “Hey.” He looks up at me, startled. “So, what did you do to your arm anyways?” I ask him.

He looks down at is arm as if he’s confused as to what I’m talking about. “Oh”, he stammers “I fell out of a tree.”

I look at him, expecting him to say more, he doesn’t. “Well, that’s just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard” I tell him.

“I know,” he says.

I look at his cast, its blank. I guess it makes sense, since he doesn’t have any friends. “Hey, no one’s signed your cast yet; I will,” I say.

“No, no you don’t have to” Evan whines.

“Do you have a sharpie?” I ask. He stares at me for a moment before he starts digging in his backpack and pulls out a marker, handing it to me. I grab his arm, and he winces. I ignore that and write my name as large as I can along the side of his cast. I figure, no one else is probably going to sign it, so I might as well take up as much real-estate as I can. “There,” I say, “now we can both pretend that we have friends.” Evan stares at his cast.

I remember that I still have his paper, “is this yours?” I ask, holding it out to him, “I found it on the printer, it says ‘Dear Evan Hansen,’ that’s you right?”

“Oh, that’s nothing, um, it’s stupid.” He tries to grab the paper from me, “It’s just an assignment”

I pull it out of his reach and look at it, my eyes land on Zoe’s name, “because there’s Zoe” I read aloud, “Did you write some freaky shit about my sister?”

“No, no” He stutters, trying to rip the paper out of my hand, “Why would I do that?”

“You wrote it because you knew I would find it” I snap, “So I would freak out and you can tell everyone that Connor Murphy is a fucking freak.”

“No” Evan cries.

I shove the paper into my pocket, “Fuck you” I say as I storm away.

I walk out of the library, and right out of the front door of the school. There’s still two periods left, but I don’t care, I’ve had enough of today. I keep walking, I don’t even know where I’m going. Eventually, when I’ve put enough distance between me and the school, I pause to pull out my headphones and put on some music. I don’t even care what I’m listening to, it just has to be loud enough to block out my thoughts.

I don’t feel bad about pushing Evan anymore; honestly that kid deserves way worse. He had to know I was in the room with him. No one is that oblivious to the world to not even notice that they’re not alone. Why would he write about my sister? Like does he have a weird fantasy about her that he just had to get down, and print out? Look buddy, most people keep their private thoughts in their head, where they belong.

I eventually reach a park, its oddly empty, but I guess all the children are still at school. I sit on a bench and throw my bag onto the ground, it rattles with impact. I pick it up to investigate the sound; I dig around until I find the source: a prescription bottle. I forgot that I had put my meds in here. I hold the bottle and read the label, it’s good old Prozac. I have refused to take it ever since it was prescribed to me. If you look it up, it has so many warnings and side effects listed, it doesn’t even seem worth it. Like there’s a small chance this will make you feel better, but there’s an even bigger chance that it might kill you, or make you want to kill yourself. The irony! They give you the medicine because you think about killing yourself, but the medicine makes you want to actually kill yourself. Do doctors even care about you, or do they just write you a prescription, so you go away?

I’ve never taken a single dose of this medication, outside of the hospital where they basically force it down your throat, but now seems like a good time to. I feel so numb, what does it even matter, it’s supposed to help me right? I swallow a pill, dry, and then another, and another. I keep swallowing them until I run out of pills. I throw the empty bottle on to the ground. Suddenly, I have a killer headache; I can feel my heart pounding, thoughts are racing in my mind. I lay down on the bench and take a deep breath.

#DEH #DEH fanfic #Dear evan hansen fanfic #deh fandom #dear evan hansen #dear connor murphy #connor murphy #mike faist #ben platt #musicals #fanfiction #fanfic #dear evan hansen fandom #connor murphy deh #zoe murphy #please validate me #trash

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Liam & Edie

Liam: [okay so wrong number text which isn't actually we know, which is just the location of some illegal rave moment that she'll wanna go to] Edie: treasure? ❌🗺 Liam: wooden leg would be useful to hide all the treasure we're bringing in Edie: Gutted I don't know anyone who's ever had an abscess go full necrotic ☠ Edie: and who wants to cart around a treasure chest Liam: don't wanna do your share of the heavy lifting, big surprise Edie: is it? Liam: outgrow this pussy behaviour before tonight as a favour to me Liam: I don't wanna cart that much dead weight about Edie: As I remember it, you owe me though Liam: your memory's in the 🚽 Liam: I owe nobody nothing Edie: yours is selective Edie: can't even get 11 digits down Liam: a barcode's got 12 & I told you it's your business if you wanna walk round inked like you've only lived that many years that's your lookout Liam: not holding your hand Edie: even more gutted, no doubt Edie: 💔 Liam: if you won't be talked out of it, put it on your balls where no-one'll see it Edie: Will you think I'm tough then? Liam: what kind of gay shit is this? Edie: 😂 Edie: go easy on your mate Edie: you got the wrong number Liam: fucked the 11 digits Liam: that's what you were trying to say Edie: mhmm Edie: that's what I said Edie: but a barcode tattoo is a shit idea Edie: agreed Liam: sick of being the voice of reason around here Edie: I find it's more entertaining to let people make the bad decisions, personally Liam: would be jokes until I look a sad twat by association Liam: wants it on his head Edie: 🙄 what's it gonna say, product of the system? Edie: pretty sure a serial killer has already done that Edie: or some shit rapper Liam: he is a shit rapper Liam: [link] Edie: oh Edie: I know him Liam: serious? Edie: by association Edie: I'm a less shit musician in general, not that that's any brag Liam: can I get a listen or you're just here to promo to set me off on a ❌🗺 as payback? Edie: depends Edie: who's heading the rave you linked? Liam: [deets] Edie: alright Edie: you're not 12 like your pal Edie: [links him her music] Edie: [definitely pictures and videos along with, as if you don't know who she is but pretending you don't lol] Liam: come tonight instead of him Edie: talking to strangers is one thing, boy Liam: you leave the bad decisions to everyone else Liam: don't sound as entertaining as it could be Edie: I meant for your safety Edie: could be anyone Liam: be full of nobodys and anyones when we get there Liam: I'm still gonna go Edie: what makes you stand out? Edie: as you ❌ the barcode Liam: when I track you down, I'll listen to your opinion about me Liam: I'm bragging before then Edie: 🤞 we can't hear much of anything over the bass Edie: not that you're intriguing enough to show up for Edie: but the invite is sound Liam: you'll still know what I think, never had an issue with body language over bass Edie: I think I can guess already Liam: 👌 guess Edie: don't take a mind reader Edie: body language and 💭 are one in the same Liam: it don't take a mind reader when you know you're beautiful and talented Edie: ha leave it out Liam: 🧯 Edie: less of that as well Edie: not a wet blanket Liam: 🧨 Edie: that I like Liam: buying 🎇🎆 if you have any requests Edie: [all the party drugs not in code 'cos we're not bothered] Liam: 👾 Edie: NOW I look forward to 👀 you Liam: guessed it Edie: what gave it away? Liam: the vids you linked me to Edie: that's your review? Edie: at least give me some ⭐s Liam: 3.5 Edie: 👌 Liam: I'll give you another 1/2 when the anti barcode tat song drops Edie: what about the other whole? Liam: get him on the track Edie: 😂 Edie: you're on Liam: 👌 Edie: thank god for the edit Liam: & that only you're allowed to freestyle it rule we just invented Edie: good thing I'm more talented than even you are demanding Liam: I'd agree but you've heard it once & you weren't a fan Edie: you can agree when you see it in person Edie: I don't do this online fake shit Liam: I'll have my turn at looking forward to 👀 you Liam: more than down to Edie: good luck Edie: I can't find any cars with spare seats, so it's gonna be a crowd clearly Liam: yours is in if you want his Edie: how will I get my freestyle if he can't catch a ride? 🤔 Liam: shit like that is what earns you the rest of the ⭐s Liam: talent's not just Liam: 🎤🎧 Edie: yeah, I'm well kind and considerate Edie: known for it Liam: good thing I am Liam: [pic of all the drugs he has picked up] Edie: 🤪 Liam: got a 🐷 mask to fit in post raid, can stick it on early if 🥴 isn't doing anything for you Edie: 💡⭐ Edie: if you can't hang with your gurn we can't hang, like Liam: [a gorgeous gurning pic from a previous rave moment] Edie: fit Liam: ha ha ha Edie: don't act like you don't know Liam: I do 👌 out of my mugshots Edie: convince him to get that tatted instead Liam: too gay Edie: alright I'll do it Liam: before or after you take his seat Edie: if you tell me your name I'll save you a spot to earn mine Liam: Liam Edie: alright, Liam, thanks for not having a long and hard to spell name Edie: give me 🖐 Liam: you can have 3.5 again Edie: [purposely leaving it a full five before coming back with his name stick n poked and then a shoddy box for the mugshot portrait to go in] Edie: tada Liam: 👏 Liam: I didn't think you would Edie: if I say I'll do something, I will Edie: why not Edie: loads of Liam's in this town Liam: don't act like it's a standard trick to pull Liam: he's been oohing & ahhing for months over identifying as frozen peas when his face gets scanned Edie: it's a win-win for me, no need to think on it Edie: either you end up being sound, then it's a memory attached, or I get a cool story about getting a tattoo of a mugshot to get a lift to a rave to tell my grandkids Liam: I wanted you to sit next to me 5 mins ago, I can be impressed, can't I? Edie: I accept impressed Edie: and 👏 of course Liam: what did it feel like? Edie: it's somewhere between a scratch and a burning sensation Edie: but deeper Liam: you'll have to do me Liam: I like the sales pitch Edie: what do you want? Liam: what can you do? Edie: on you, a lot better than I can myself Edie: anything you want, I'll make it happen Liam: thanks for accepting impressive Edie: I intend to be so I can Edie: not here to disappoint Liam: I only was willing to be when I thought I was talking to that little bitch boy Edie: no gay shit Liam: unless you like one of the girls in the car Edie: ha Edie: we'll 👀 obviously Edie: where you starting out, anyway, and when Liam: [a time and place, I like to imagine it's a longish drive to give them time to #bond UGH] Edie: [and usually is to go to a middle of nowhere moment so agreed[ Edie: I'll be there Liam: would make me laugh if you don't show now Liam: longest chat I've had for ages Edie: even if I missed you 🚗 I've hitched before Edie: and it's been ages since I've been to a decent party so Liam: my pic could've fooled you but that last one was shit Liam: got a better feeling this time Edie: I feel you Edie: 💊🥤 just makes it tolerable Edie: down to 👀 yeah? Liam: Yeah Edie: better go find my glitter and gemstones out ✌ Liam: I feel you, will take me a while to paint my 💪 UV Liam: not got as steady a hand as you Edie: damn, that was almost impressive Liam: I'll work on it Edie: your steady hand or your bragging about your 💪? Liam: which one's letting me down the most? Edie: 🤔 Edie: you don't need to tattoo me yourself Edie: you are good looking enough you could get away with being cockier, go with that Liam: 👌 but now you've made me wanna tattoo you myself Edie: maybe Edie: if you think of a good idea, we'll overlook the shaky lines Liam: I'll try & think of an idea where wavy lines are part of it Edie: smart Edie: I like it Liam: 🌊 or something Liam: but less shit Liam: 📻 ones maybe Edie: you have any? Edie: professional ones, like Edie: you asked what stick n poke felt like so obviously not Liam: spend my money as fast as I have it Liam: what are you gonna charge me? Edie: what else are you gonna do with it though Edie: see how nice or poor I'm feeling Liam: I won't let the 💊🥤 run out, you'll feel a lot better than nice Edie: deal 🤩 Liam: be me blinded by your glitter & gems Edie: not actually my first rave Edie: but I can raid my little sister's shit if that's part of the deal Liam: see you in a 👑 will I? Edie: that's just standard day to day tbh 🤷 Liam: how many raves have you done? Edie: I've tried not to be in at the weekend since I was like 12 myself so Edie: enough that I know there's nothing fun or attractive about freezing your tits off in a neon bikini in a field Edie: what about you, you're [the year he'd be in which is either 2nd to last or last, either way], right? Liam: hasty to go with unattractive Liam: but yep, you're not wrong Edie: 😏 Edie: I get it, you wanna match 💪 Liam: no gay shit, your own words Liam: I didn't go to my first one until I was like 15, still not impressing anyone here Edie: me either Edie: middle child syndrome or whatever Liam: trade you oldest and only son if you want it Edie: Attention is grand and all but too much parental attention isn't what I'm aiming for Liam: can't offer you it Liam: my parents attention is elsewhere Edie: yours still together? Liam: nah Edie: oh good Edie: wouldn't know what to do with a dad Liam: not lots you can do with mine Edie: might be stuck being ourselves for the foreseeable anyway Edie: not a convincing freaky friday/parent trap situation you and me Liam: shame I won't get to 🎸 & lay down a track with your talent Edie: just buzzin' off all the things I could lift obviously 💪 Liam: this where I get cocky like you said? Liam: go on about how much I can Edie: you could Edie: but I'm clearly impressed before you need to use that tactic Liam: it's too desperate Liam: we both know I can pick you up if you get stuck in the mud later on Edie: we both know it's every man for himself when the 🐷 show Liam: I got you a mask Liam: yours has lipstick and more eyelashes, so we know Edie: thank god Edie: fragile femininity anyone? Liam: prefer toxic masculinity Edie: same Liam: 👍 Edie: if the daddy issues weren't glaring the 👑 will make 'em blinding Liam: we can pretend that since you're with me no-one'll be looking at you if you want Edie: the freedom Liam: I'll give you 🛢🧨 to play with Liam: 🔥 will take the attention Edie: really? Liam: 🎇🎆 wasn't only a code Liam: I do have some Edie: 🤩 no joke Edie: I wanna blow shit up Liam: that's all I ever wanna do Edie: yeah Edie: feel that too Liam: if you can capture 🔥 in a tat that'd be something worth considering Liam: not in a gay way like 🎲💀♠ Edie: that's overplayed, and doesn't mean anything Edie: I'll do some designs, providing I make it home alive Liam: supposed to see my dad tomorrow for the first time in months, don't think I'll rush back Edie: 🛢🧨🎇🎆 why would you Liam: don't feel you have to either, unless you're catfishing me Edie: I'd pick someone else if I was Edie: and you accidentally texted me Liam: I'm into the someone I accidentally texted, full fucking offense to whoever you wanna pick Edie: then I'll stick around too Edie: nothing I'm rushing back for Liam: it's in writing I'm not kidnapping you Liam: have to do a mugshot monday instead or something Edie: feel free Edie: I can't see that I'd mind Liam: being kidnapped or sharing a cell? Edie: hmm Edie: both Edie: though the involvement of bars to keep me about is unnecessary really Liam: does hitchiking only work if you're a girl with killer eyes? asking for myself before we torch the car Edie: as you're toxically masculine, most people'd be afraid to stop for you alone but as we're together, you should be safe and not an axe murderer Edie: unless I'm pulling a Hindley Liam: when we go for that we'll think it through more Liam: 🐶 or 👶 on board Edie: I can borrow one Edie: 👶 more likely Edie: people don't like cats enough Liam: I'll get over a fence to grab us a dog Edie: in one step, like Liam: depending on the fence Edie: sure, don't wanna oversell it Liam: you don't want no online fake shit Edie: just telling you so you know Edie: not the same Liam: thanks for telling me Edie: yeah alright Edie: didn't lecture you did I Liam: nah you didn't Edie: there we go then Liam: [quotes some of her own lyrics at her that he likes because genuinely listening to these tracks] Liam: you could sell that harder Edie: I'll work it out in my freestyle Liam: 🛢🧨 Edie: 🔥 Liam: 🎇🎆 Edie: 🤩 Liam: let's see your glitter Edie: checking it's not a catfish? Liam: can't show you mine first, too cocky behaviour Edie: [a rave lewk when we've clearly done the most to do the least you know the vibe] Liam: [I like to think he's written her name in body paint wherever she put her stick n poke so have a pic of that gal] Edie: 👍 Edie: approved Liam: what do you want your i dotted with? Liam: about as artistic as you'll get me to be Edie: ⭐ Edie: has to be Liam: [an adorable little star has been added so have another pic] Edie: perfect Liam: thanks for having a name that's short and easy to spell yourself Edie: oh yeah, snap Liam: except I haven't met another one of yours Edie: maybe an 👵 Liam: prefer a silent snatch & grab Edie: 😂 Edie: alright, then I can be the one and only Liam: do you wanna guess what I think about it? Edie: I have Edie: be too cocky to say Liam: I'll do it then, you said I can get away with more of it Liam: I think it'd be good if you were Edie: let's see if you're right Liam: feels like I am but yeah we'll 👀 Edie: it is weird Edie: how you randomly found my number instead Edie: how many # were you out by? Liam: you'll have his if you didn't before Liam: last number Edie: crazy Edie: another good story Liam: should've been a 6 but I did a 9 Edie: 🤪 love that Liam: I'll lose my phone again if you're what I find Edie: I'll save your number then Edie: or add it to the tat Liam: since you love how it feels Edie: and I'm no less liable to lose my phone, so Edie: the pain is just a bonus Liam: I can add it as fuel to the 🔥 any time you'd like an excuse to cross my number out & go again Edie: I won't run out of ideas either way Liam: what about space? Edie: not anytime soon Edie: I'll have to go back to biro and keep it less permanent after that Liam: leave it on the bodies of our victims like the shittiest calling card for the 🐷 Liam: call me Edie: ooh Edie: we could get really zodiac with that though Edie: only murder people on days ending in 9 Liam: I like it Edie: I'll go solo if you piss me off and do it on 6 days Liam: I'll start staging them like they've starred in your vids to get your forgiveness Liam: attention to detail for attention from you Edie: we can communicate through corpses Edie: that's new, no one's done that before Liam: when I keep the 👀 as a 🏆 you'll know I wanna see you Edie: romantic, aren't you Liam: toxic like my masculinity Edie: good Liam: ☢️ better than a barcode but not by a lot Edie: I could do you a Chernobyl victim tat Edie: get the toxic and the 🔥 in a really untasteful onner Liam: 👌 you're beautiful, talented & smart Liam: don't give me any flaws to pick at then Edie: I did say untasteful instead of distasteful, if you wanna be pedantic and take away smart so you can save some toxic masculinity points Edie: one-ner, also, doesn't translate to typing Liam: when it took you pointing it out, I don't think I can take anything away from you Edie: you can try Edie: again, like kidnapping, might not mind Liam: I can't help thinking it'd be better to give you things Edie: 🎇🎆🛢🧨? Liam: all that Liam: ⭐🐶👶 Liam: & anything else I've not remembered Edie: we can keep the puppy right Liam: what else would we do with it? Edie: just letting you know I draw the line at puppy killing Edie: get that out of the way now Liam: me too Liam: never microwaved any 🐹 or thrown them at the wall Edie: imagine how big you look to 🐹 Liam: 🏙🦖 Edie: definitely made that 📹 as a kid Liam: I'll be in the remake next time you're stuck for a vid idea Liam: if you still have it, we'll kick it frame for frame Edie: you'd be perfect for my next project Liam: sign me up Edie: [tat pic again like I already did] Liam: what else have you got? Edie: [just a comprehensive pic rundown of your tats that are all just silly ones you've done on the whole hope you've not got them anywhere too scandalous but realistically gonna need to be able to hide them when school so it's probably mostly legs at and like, upper arm and ribs/hip vibes] Liam: 😍 Edie: I'll tell you all the stories later when we're smashed Liam: no awkward silences in the car Liam: great idea Edie: not if the other girls are hot Liam: there's one I think you'd like Liam: you'll have to tell me if I'm wrong Edie: I'll flash a 6 or a 9 and you'll know Liam: she can be our first victim either way Edie: 😈 Liam: 🚗🔥 Liam: 🔐 Edie: 😍 Edie: you win Liam: how do you feel about playing games? Liam: 6 or 9 Edie: 9 Liam: same Edie: I know Liam: yeah, you're smart, I gave you that Edie: how smart is it that I wanna play with you? Liam: I'd call it a good decision, which maybe isn't smart if you only like bad ones Edie: I just like doing what I want Edie: good or bad is mostly irrelevant Liam: so do what you want Edie: you to be here now Liam: direct me 🗺❌ Edie: [at least you've had the good sense to be in town not at yours] Liam: [lord imagine] Edie: [like sure Rio ain't about but still don't need to be inviting you in quite yet lol] Liam: [her room is still there and no thank you hun] Edie: [not today huns, we can either skip to post rave now or post this as is?]

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grandtheftstarship · 5 years

Text

Way Out There (Leonard McCoy x Reader) [Songfic]

A/n: So this started off really small for the song and then it ended up going nearly 1000 words on after the song ends... oops. You don’t really need to listen, the lyrics just relate to the idea of the fic and are written in, but Lord Huron is a bop and I really recommend it :) If you want to play the song, start the music at the bolded sentence.

Summary: [y/n] finds out that the Enterprise crashed on Altimid and rushes to save Leonard, her boyfriend.

Word Count: 2226 Warnings: none :) Posted: Tumblr, Wattpad Requested: no

Link to Way out there by Lord Huron.

U.S.S Enterprise Missing.

The headline mocked you, grinning evilly from the page. Your eyes brimmed with tears, one person on your mind.

Leonard.

He was on the damn ship, and if you weren't recovering from Andorian Fever you would be too. Your chest tightened with grief at first, then loneliness then anger.

You readjusted your heading, now walking briskly towards Starfleet headquarters instead of the local Starfleet medical center. You knew Commodore Paris personally, she was a family friend, so hopefully, you could get in quickly and easily.

"Lieutenant {y/f/n] to see Commodore Paris," you told the receptionist, rapping your fingernails on the marble countertop.

"She's in a briefing, but they will be on break in a few minutes," she nodded at you, returning to her computer.

You thanked her and paced lightly in the adjacent waiting room. Five agonizing minutes later, the Commodore and several other Starfleet officials left the room, heading for the small cafe across the street. You rushed to her side, greeting her quickly.

"Do you have any information regarding the Enterprise?" you asked hastily. "Do you know who attacked them?"

"Nothing yet," she replied. "Do you have someone out there?"

You sighed looking down. "Yes. My boyfriend, Doctor Leonard McCoy."

"I see," she patted your shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," you returned, fire burning in your eyes. "Commodore, I'm requesting a ship to go after them."

"Are you crazy?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "I'm not letting anyone out there until we can confirm a safe way through the nebula."

"But Ma'am-"

"No, [y/n]," she said firmly. "Your request is denied. It's not safe."

The commanding officers returning to the briefing room caught her attention.

"I have to go now," sympathy softened her face. "I'm sorry."

She removed her hand and walked back towards the open door. You looked on after her, the heavy feeling of defeat settling in your chest.

Then a crazy idea hit you. An idea so insane, it fell into Jim Kirk crazy. And it could 100% get you fired.

I'm a long way from the land that I left

I've been running through life and cruising toward death

If you think that I'm scared you've got me wrong

If you don't know my name, you'll know it now

I belong bodily to the earth

I'm just wearing old bones from those that came first

There are many more flames when mine is gone

They will build me no shrines and sing me no songs

Upon leaving the now empty waiting room, you made your way hastily towards the shipyard. You knew that there were a few small scout ships that were manned by one pilot. Filled with a newfound determination, you knew you would do anything to save your boyfriend. You swiped your keycard at the entrance. It was late and you didn't have much time before officers working there noticed a stray engineer attempting a case of "Grand Theft Starship". You tiptoed on board one of the survey vessels, shutting the door and getting straight to it.

I'm a long way from the one that I love

I've been tending old flames, lamenting what was

Drifting in a land time forgot

If you think that I've changed, you know me not

I belong bodily to the earth

I'm just wearing old bones from those that came first

I been unraveling since my birth

Gonna wander out there and see what I'm worth

Find me way out there

There's no road that will lead us back

When you follow the strange trails

They will take you who knows where

If I found a way to stay with you tonight

It would only make me late, for a date I can't escape

The vessel hummed to life, panic spiking through your core. You worked quickly, getting systems online like there was no tomorrow. As you engaged the thrusters, you began hearing the confused shouts of Starfleet officers trying to get you to land. Once you finally left the atmosphere, you cursed Bones and his stupid job. Rescuing his ass was so going to get you fired, and when you found him you were going to give him a piece of your mind. You were able to reprogram the maneuvering capabilities of the small vessel so you could get through the nebula unscathed. At warp three, you carried on.

Navigating through the nebula was one of the hardest things you had ever done. You managed to get through with only small damage to the hull, but your victory was short-lived. You eased the craft out of the cloud, jaw hitting the floor.

Find me way out there

There's no road that will lead us back

When you follow the strange trails

They will take you who knows where

If I found a way to stay with you tonight

It would only make me late, for a date I can't escape

Two nessels were floating aimlessly in front of you, the destroyed body of the ship not far from them. Tears brimmed your eyes as the saucer was nowhere to be found. You were distracted from your astonishment by the small beep of your sensor.

You couldn't believe your eyes. Your scan of the planet below showed you three groups of life forms. One was large, seventy-five to one-hundred or so life signs, while the other two were much smaller. You decided on landing near the group of four, praying the small dots on the screen were your friends and crewmembers.

"Keptin!" Chekov shouted, scrambling over the rocks towards Jim, Scotty, and Jaylah. "There's a scout ship heading straight for us."

He slowed down to catch his breath, having caught the captain's attention. "It's federation, sir."

"Are you sure?" he asked, moving towards Chekov and his tricorder.

"Yes sir," he replied, pointing to the small figure on his tricorder. "I am picking up Starfleet frequencies."

The low hum of your thrusters and the low crackle of you entering the atmosphere drew the group's attention from the small device. You maneuvered the stout vessel to a bare plot of land not far from them, landing softly on the patch of rock. Jim led his miniature crew towards your stolen ship, all anxiously waiting for the metal hatch to open and reveal who was behind the sudden change in dynamics.

The door thudded open whilst you finished shutting down the power to save the small amount of fuel you had left in case you needed it. You nearly threw yourself out of your chair when you finished, anxious to see who was outside.

"[y/f/n]?" Chekov gasped, rushing to the front of the small pack. "Боже мой, это действительно ты!" (Oh my god, it's really you!)

He rushed forward, nearly tripping on loose stones, and tackled you in a hug. Pavel was your best friend, besides Bones of course.

"How are you doing? How did you get here? Are you okay- are you still sick? You should be recovering-"

"Slow down!" you laughed, nudging his shoulder slightly. "I'll explain everything, but you have some things to tell me too, mister."

"Okay, so here's what went down," he began, already waving his arms around enthusiastically. "Basically, I was expertly navigating through this nebula when these teeny little ships caught my attention-"

You smiled at the captain, waving slightly as Pavel babbled on about the attack while leading you across the jagged terrain.

"That would explain the torn up ship floating about up there," you nodded towards the sky. "Thank god this planet is class M. I can't even think about how horribly worse this could have gone if you had crashed on a planet full of toxic gas or something."

"It is already quite a terrible situation," he followed your eyes up into the wispy clouds. They reminded you of those on Earth. "I mean, the attackers took all the crew members that managed to get into their Kelvin Pods. If I had used mine any earlier, I would have been taken as well."

You shuddered at the thought.

"Who are you?" an unknown voice spat from behind you, the hostility dripping from the spoken words catching you off guard.

"This right here is [y/f/n] [y/l/n]," Scotty clapped you on the shoulder. "The best assistant chief engineer one could ask for."

"Aw, shucks," you punched him lightly on the shoulder. "I try."

"[y/n], this is Jaylah," Scotty gestured to the white-faced alien, looking a little ruffled. You waved.

"Is this another one of your mates?" she asked, a little less harshly. Scotty nodded.

"You betcha."

By now, your little group had reached Jaylah's house. They explained to you how it got there, how Jaylah found it, and why nobody else had stumbled across it.

You brushed your fingers over the ancient technology. "Wow."

"There's not even a sickbay?"

Jim shook his head. "Nope. Bones would be pissed."

You giggled. "Speaking of, where is he?"

You knew instantly something was wrong.

"Jim," panic rose in your chest. "Where is he?"

He avoided your eyes.

"H-He's fine, right?"

"We don't know where Bones or Spock are," Jim said finally. "They were in the turbolift when the saucer was separated."

"We will find him, [y/n/n]," Chekov patted you on the shoulder. "Somehow, one way or another, we will find him."

You, Chekov, and Scotty worked for the next several hours to reprogram the transporter modules to allow a person to be beamed aboard.

"Done!" you called from underneath the transporter pad, a low hum of electricity proving your statement.

"Ура!"(Hooray!) Pavel cheered.

"Well done, lass," Scotty congratulated you as he helped pull you out.

"It was nothing," you replied, brushing yourself off. "I mean, you guys helped too."

Pavel interjected before Scotty could respond. "Hold on, I'm reading some... life signs?"

You and Scotty hurried to the panel he was looking at, and sure enough, two life signs blinked back at you.

"Beam them," Scotty muttered.

You turned to him. "What?"

"We can beam them here!"

"But what if they're hostile?" Chekov asked, fear flashing through his eyes.

"Then we'll... beam them back?"

"Wait, there are more coming!" you pointed back to the screen.

"What if they're crew members?"

"That wouldn't make sense, lad!"

When the two of them started arguing, more signs of life began appearing.

"What the hell," you murmured, locking on to one of the signals. The transport sounded a bit more static-y than you were used to but as you and the boys turned towards the pad, a familiar face greeted you.

"Lieutenant [y/l/n]?"

"Spock?"

Before you could hug him (even if he protested), he hobbled off the pad as urgently as he could.

"You must beam the doctor out of there."

Without missing a beat, you thrust yourself back at the panel and locked on.

Once the strange noise faded, you felt your stomach drop in relief.

"It feels like my innards have been to a barn dance," Leonard said, looking a bit green.

"These old transporters were mainly used for cargo, but a bit of maintenance did the trick," Scotty explained, slapping him on the shoulder. "Sorry, we had to beam you one at a time, to avoid being... misplaced."

"I couldn't imagine a worse scenario," Bones looked around the room before letting his eyes fall on your worried-slash-relieved complexion.

Your legs moved on their own accord, propelling you into Leonard's waiting arms. He held you so tight you weren't sure how much longer you could breathe.

Suddenly, he pushed you out of his arms, brows furrowed in a grimace.

"What the hell, [y/n], you're supposed to be recovering!"

His face melted back into worry and he pulled you back into his embrace.

"I'm so happy to see you, love."

You giggled. "I'm so happy you're safe."

He then, more gently this time, released you from the hug and grabbed your hands.

"I'm still mad at you for trekking all the way to this goddamn planet," he scolded, wearing worried and frustrated expressions simultaneously. "Thank god you weren't on the ship or I'm pretty sure I would have died from a damn heart attack."

"I'm fine, you big silly," you reassured him. "But, I'm pretty sure Spock isn't."

His face paled. "Shit."

He placed a quick, chaste kiss on your lips before rushing off to treat his patient.

You smiled sweetly as he rushed off, simply ecstatic he was alive and well.

#star trek #star trek imagines #star trek songfic #star trek x reader #star trek reader inserts #bones mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #leonard bones mccoy x reader #bones mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x reader #lord huron #I LOVE LORD HURON SO MUCHH #leonard mccoy reader inserts #leonard mccoy aos #leonard mccoy aos x reader

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l0nleywriter · 5 years

Text

Zen x reader Burn

So I've been working on this for a while.. my first attempt at both song fic and Zen so would really appreciate some feedback. I had just finished the Zen route and was in a Hamilton binge at the same time so decided to write a little something combining the two. I hope you enjoy reading if you choose to and once again would love some feedback! Have a nice day 💕

~~~~~~~

I saved every letter you wrote me

From the moment I read them

I knew you were mine

You said you were mine

I thought you were mine

As a pair of actors the two of you had had a lot in common so you had really hit it off. At the time you were honestly so happy that your childhood friend MC reached out to you with an invite to the RFA party. Despite the sheer amount of guests there Zen had spent a good majority of the party just talking with you. You started by discussing different parts that you had had and then went on to just about anything and everything. It really did feel like you were talking to someone you had known your whole life.

After the party was over, you had decided to give him your number and the two of you talked like you were running out of time. You would often reread the messages from previous nights and recall everything said. This whole thing seemed too good to be true, like it would last forever, like you were meant to be.

Do you know what Angelica said

When we saw your first letter arrive?

She said

“Be careful with that one, love

He will do what it takes to survive.”

You were still so excited to talk more with the amazing Zen after how the event had gone. That may be why you had practically screamed with joy to your dear friend MC when the first text came through. Although they was happy for you to be out doing something with your life but they were sure to warn you about his relationship status and previous conversations shared through the chatroom concerning his love life as well as his behaviour in general. You told her you would be careful and went back to texting.

You and your words flooded my senses

Your sentences left me defenseless

You built me palaces out of paragraphs

You built cathedrals

The conversations the two of you shared seemed to be endless, melding together for you in a rosy haze. At night before sleeping you caught yourself fixated on this new found relationship and enthusiastically mentally planning out how you would spend time together in the future. He had you swooning over his witty word play and constant flirtation, hooked onto every line of text. When he would call you, the sound of his voice had you melting into a pile of goo and you could barely contain your flustered state whenever you met up for a coffee or other date-like activities. His little pet names for you as the relationship went on never failed to make you fall apart. Truly you believed that you would never find something like this again.

The initial craze when it was revealed that the famous actor Zen was going out with the legendary (y/n) (l/n) was somewhat overwhelming. The picture you had first posted together was filled with comments of ship names and questions quicker than you thought to be possible. Of course there was hate comments from Zens fangirls but his smooth words kept you from freaking out. Within interviews discussing your new part in a production just coming to the country it was a huge topic to be discussed. At that time you were happy to go out of your way to show just how much you loved this man Hyun Ryu.

I’m re-reading the letters you wrote me

I’m searching and scanning for answers

In every line

For some kind of sign

And when you were mine

The world seemed to

Burn

It was when you weren't looking at these extensive conversations through rose coloured lenses that you had seen how much of a narrasistic jerk he was. A lot of what he had said, that previously made your heart flutter, had very clearly been him bragging about himself. His poetic compliments had found a way of boosting his own self image and often conversations had shifted back to his own godlike appearance. And here you were, swiping through your phone aggressively while scoffing down your third tub of ice cream at three am rereading the messages through tear filled eyes.

You published the letters she wrote you

You told the whole world how you brought

This girl into our bed

In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives

The second craze was double the size of the first and almost unbearable. The surge in questions and comments about the situation had been suffocating to you. Not only did you now have to deal with the overwhelming attention but the heartbreak of seeing the messages that started this for yourself. To protect himself, Hyun had posted the texts between him and the famous Echo Girl after she went public about their relationship. It showed how he and her had been together while you were away with family, it hurt to know that he had been doing so wrong while texting you as if everything was alright.

It seemed that everywhere you went there was the media trying to get your input or fangirls screeching every which way with each other. No matter what you did it was always there to remind you of how the man you had loved betrayed your trust. So you chose to disappear for a while. You were away from work already and logged off social media.

Do you know what Angelica said

When she read what you’d done?

She said

“You have married an Icarus

He has flown too close to the sun.”

It was a few days into your detox that a tired and frantic looking MC appeared at your door. She was a great help to you that night when she listened to your frustrated ranting about the jerk you had dedicated so much time to. While they did offer support, they also had an obligatory 'I told you so moment' which you followed with sobbing some more and apologising for not appreciating their words earlier. Over various portions of night-in food you were updated on his defences to the organisation and how disgusted various members were with his actions; they had met you at the party and were quite fond of you. In reflection that night really helped you see how glad you were to be free of him.

You and your words, obsessed with your legacy...

Your sentences border on senseless

And you are paranoid in every paragraph

How they perceive you

You, you, you…

It had seemed to have been some time before you reemerged to the world. That week gave many a gossip site chance to theorise on reactions and circumstance. It seemed that the world was anticipating any move you were about to make but you decided to hold back and release a proper statement in your own time. So between recapping lines and ignoring your phone things were going good.

I’m erasing myself from the narrative

Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted when you broke her heart

You have torn it all apart

I am watching it

Burn

Watching it burn

When you were next seen in public it was to attend rehearsals and odds and ends. Thanks to the help of friends and family you were able to shield off press advances, keeping your head low or wearing a cap and shades to hide your face. There was no way that you wanted to give either one of them the satisfaction of seeing they had got you down.

Online there were still gossip about how you were reacting to the heartbreak. Of course Hyun had covered his tail with declarations of how he was wrong and he still loved you. His profile picture was a picture of the two of you on your last date and he was posting about how much he wanted to talk. While Echo Girl defended herself in interview saying she loved her Zen. What really was happy to you when being updated on it all by MC was how many people lept to your defence sharing hashtags and commenting below negative comments how this wasnt your fault.

The world has no right to my heart

The world has no place in our bed

They don’t get to know what I said

I’m burning the memories

Burning the letters that might have redeemed you

In time a post graced timelines that swept across the internet quickly. It was satisfying to attempt to smooth out some things happening at this point in your life. In simple text was how you realised this had happened and where you had been. It confirmed that you were still performing in a highly anticipated production and had been attending rehersals already.

You forfeit all rights to my heart

You forfeit the place in our bed

You sleep in your office instead

With only the memories

Of when you were mine

Before the opening night preformance you were sitting in your dressing room re reading the messages once again. You knew you might see him here, it would be the one place he knows you'll be and cant avoid. You had heard he had been trying to see you from MC. That was more nerve wracking to you then the rest of the audience! Just breathe. Look around, look around, think of everything you've gone through to get here.

When the first few notes of the first song rang out across the theatre Zen held his breath. He knew that he maybe should have not have come but it was the only place he knew you would be. After the show he knew you would be there to talk about everything. In his head this was a perfect plan.

I hope that you burn

But as the last note rang out across the theatre and your piercing gaze locked directly with his eyes. It was a moment before the applause built up around Hyun the theatre alight with a bittersweet joy from your performance. Zen himself was frozen stiff still trying to process everything. Your figure disappeared behind the wings and from his life and he was helpless to stop it.

#zen #mystic messenger #mystic messenger zen #zen x reader #Hamilton #burn #song fic #fanfic #hyun ryu #mm

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windowinto · 4 years

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Social Media

This post is just a thought vomit post: The feeling that I’m feeling is quite strange. As if I cannot show the world the things I genuinely appreciate. Social media terrifies me in every way possible to the point where it is entirely toxic. I constantly live in this panic or fear where everyone is laughing at me or judging me. I feel as if social media is a place where I should be able to express myself in whatever way I want to. Sadly that isn’t the case for me. As much as I would love to show the world or anyone who has an “interest” in following me, whether it’s a mutual “oh I know you ill follow or add you” thing, whatever, the things I love dearly and hold close to my heart. For instance I love Elliott Smith a lot and would love to share my love about him but I feel as if people will make fun of me for enjoying the beauty that is his music and self. I get so terrified or think “what is the point” or “who even cares?”. Social media is so strange and I feel like it has me pinned to the ground sometimes. It is always in the back of my mind. For the last few years I have consistently been on and off social media. I’ll have a stride of confidence and post on social media consistently but it never seems to last before I delete everything, Instagram, twitter, facebook. Ill start with Instagram and why it really scares me. With Instagram, I feel very pressured to upload pictures in a timely fashion. It’s almost a personal blog or a perspective from my eyes to share with the people who decide to follow me. There are people who follow me and will never interact with my posts when I do decide to post something. It makes me wonder what is the point in following me if you don’t like anything that I’m sharing, not in the sense of the actual like, but enjoying what I post? I would rarely post anything on Instagram, I turned my Instagram that is now deleted, into a page for my art. I was scared to share things I have created. Showing people something I like, a window into my brain, for them to judge, even though I have gotten good feedback on my art, at the end of the day I still think its not good. Yet another reason why I am afraid to post on social media. I have little to no ego or confidence in myself. Before my Instagram was my art page, I would sometimes upload selfies only because that is just, what we do nowadays? It felt like I had to fall in line and I felt this pressure to show the world how I was changing as a person. “ooh look at me” but in my head there is nothing to look at. I struggle with body dysmorphia. I look in the mirror every day and see someone completely different. It isn’t just a “I feel ugly today”. It is a brutal battle of one day I feel okay but 30 minutes later my face feels rearranged. I know it’s a very common feeling to never see what others see in yourself, but I look in the mirror a lot and can never figure it out. I’m not sure why, I just try to take time to really understand my face because too often I don’t understand it at all. My face is very A-symmetrical and I feel to be beautiful you must have good face symmetry. My face has twist and turns, which most people might not notice, maybe they do. It is just something I really struggle with. Some days I feel normal, my face looks fine, but some days it feels like someone took a blender to my face. The thing with mirrors and phone cameras you only see the mirrored version of yourself. That is what you are used to. So seeing pictures of me that aren’t mirrored throws my head into a fucking spiral of insecurity. I tend to avoid pictures with people or having people take pictures or videos of me because all I can do is watch the video or stare at the picture for hours wondering what other people are going to think of me and my contorted face and body. I know that no person is perfect and we all have our imperfections, but exposing mine to the world is terrifying. Pictures are different. They give people time to dissect and focus on your imperfections for as long as they want. People terrify me. I’ve been bullied when I was younger and I have been made fun of over the years for looking certain ways, dressing certain ways because I’m not what they want me to be. I just want to be myself without judgement. Being able to be genuine and to not be made fun of for “trying too hard” or “trying” to have a certain look. I always get thrown under certain labels and its so frustrating. “haha you are a sad boy” or stupid remarks as if I’m trying to be anything but myself. I am terrified to be myself because it will never be good enough for anyone. I have been around a lot of toxic friend groups where they even make fun of their best friends. They make evil remarks or judge them for having a stride of confidence or trying new things. I love when people express themselves or try new things instead of staying in the same box that people put them in. It just seems others like to make fun of people for trying something new or pushing the boundaries of what is “them”. Self exploration is a beautiful thing that everyone should focus on every now and then. We should all try to expand on ourselves and strive for the best versions of ourselves. Who likes being the person stuck in a box? Where is the fun in that? That is just a perspective of mine but I always feel forced into this box. Which is a big reason I stay away from posting pictures of myself because if I post a picture of myself I am either “cocky” “too confident” or “trying too hard”. I took a picture of myself. That’s all I did. I had no intentions other than to just show people hey this is what I look like today and for once I don’t feel like my face was hit with a tornado. With Instagram I feel if I don’t post frequently or become inactive then people will start to not care. I’m not sure why I have this feeling of wanting people to care, but that’s how social media feels to me. You follow me for some reason, maybe because you care, who knows. There’s certain people who like to look down on me because I’m constantly changing and they might of liked or are used to a previous version of myself. Some people don’t like change. People also get so wrapped up into other peoples lives which is also another reason why I don’t like social media. Instagram is full of fake pictures and perfect people. Sometimes I feel like I have to be perfect or have a perfect picture for it to be “Instagram worthy”. I don’t understand what is a right and wrong picture to post. Sometimes I want to post everything, sometimes I don’t. Some people get so wrapped up in their “aesthetic” or “online image” and its not them what so ever. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea of me, I would much rather have someone make a judgement of me in person rather than a post on the internet. Intention and tone are hard to grasp on the internet unless you already know that person really well. With twitter, It feels the same as instragram but instead of pictures it’s tweets. I used twitter like a journal of just random things. Random feelings, random thoughts whether they were serious or just goofy. I didn’t try to appeal to anyone, I just kind of posted whatever I wanted. Over the last 4 years of on and off social media usage, there has been a few instances that make me scared of letting people know on the internet what is going on in this complex head of mine. With the first instance, I’ll bring a bit of context. I was about 17 or 18 at the time, my memory with age and time is always so bad so I’m not exactly sure when. I was going through a really rough depressive episode. I stopped hanging out with my friends and isolated, didn’t get out of bed ever, didn’t even play video games. It was really bad. I would also tweet about my feelings, which there is a stigma on posting about being sad on the internet because everyone is sad sometimes or all the time and just wont admit it, but will laugh or judge you for having feelings like a human being. “Wow look at this dude, he is so sad? Go get a therapist sad boy” but are the same people who do the same things they are complaining about. It’s weird how it works. Makes absolutely zero sense to me. People will hide their sadness behind vent accounts but on their “main” act like they aren’t sad. Which there is nothing wrong with that, but don’t judge others for being sad. Maybe they need someone, but you are too afraid to be that someone or “don’t feel like dealing with it”. I finally broke free from the death grip of depression and finally decided to hangout with some friends. It was the current E3 showing off all the new games. We were all having a good time discussing new games and seeing all the new titles. A game came up and I simply said “I heard that game isn’t that good” and a friend of a friend in the room said “of course you think that, you hate everything”. Stunned I replied “how?” and he replied with “you are constantly tweeting about how sad you are and how you hate everything”. Ill admit I had some sad tweets but I never tweeted or talked openly disliking anything. This guy barely knows me at all just so you know. We have mutual friends, have hungout a few times, skateboarded in the same group of friends. Clearly he had bad judgement on me. My eyes scan the room to see all of my “close” friends at the time. They all were just as stunned as me and nobody spoke up. I said proudly, in which this is true “I haven’t tweeted anything sad in months actually, feel free to go look at my tweets” he replied with “well good for you then”. This will stick with me for a really long time and this was maybe 5 years ago or less that this happened, like I said I’m bad with time and memories. I still think about it all the time. Goes to show, be careful what you say, it might stick around in someone’s head for longer than you think. Apparently one of my friends told him afterwards “Dude, he JUST started hanging out with us again and you had to do that”. Although I’m not sure if that is true or not. I would then to go on to delete my twitter and stay off social media for about a year or so because I was so terrified of others having this same outlook on me. Because if someone I barely know can have this judgement of me, then someone else surely can. To this day it still messes with my head and is also a big reason I have been off and on with social media. The next instance is from 2 almost 3 years ago. I was talking to the girl of my dreams, a girl I had a crush on for years. We got along wonderfully, shared the same sense of humor, there was a connection there that I couldn’t explain. But even then I would still struggle with my depression. Even in the happiest of times I still had these dark depressive moments. Which I have to explain that, my mother who had raised me without my dad, had battled cancer for 4 years only for it to take her life in 2012, which turned me into an anxiety riddled depressed kid. I would disappear, walk away, disassociate, have these dips in moods even in public. She didn’t really seem to understand or has never really had to deal with something like this before with someone. I completely understand that I was easily too much for her to handle. It’s really hard to find someone who understands or cares enough to stick around. Unfortunately my depressive episodes lead to the demise of our short “relationship”. We were not dating. We got into an argument and I told her how I was feeling and how she made me feel like she didn’t care. She sent me a long text message about how I’m too sad to deal with and I’m too much to handle. She told me all I do is bring everyone around me down and that I am a sad negative person. I am just summing it up, I don’t want to go into detail. This destroyed me more than any other words have before in my life. We were young and she didn’t understand the power of what she was saying. This threw me into a spiral of a year long depressive episode that I could not control. I didn’t talk to my friends about how I felt or my family because I was afraid to bring them down. I still struggle to this day with opening up about my feelings because of this but I have gotten better about it. But I was scared to just tell people that I was sad. I became so focused on faking this image to not let a single person know how I truly felt. It was hell every day holding in this whirlwind of feelings. I felt like I had to hide all of my feelings and that my feelings weren’t valid. I felt as if I wasn’t allowed to feel sad. I would get so mad if I ever got sad. I would tell myself no. Which it kind of worked, it kind of helped me get better in a sense but I think its important to feel sad now. Its important to process those emotions instead of ignoring them. But this also made me stay off social media for another year or so. But this year of no social media it forced me to learn a lot about myself. I was going into young adulthood and trying to understand the world and figuring myself out. A lot of self-growth was made in this time which I am kind of thankful for. But this was a huge reason why I struggled so hard with social media and how people perceived me. Also another reason why I struggle still because words like those tend to stick with you. Twitter is such a strange platform. I still don’t use it to this day. All because of judgement. Not even about sad tweets this time, just fear of self-expression. Goes hand and hand with the way I feel about Instagram. People thinking you are trying to hard or people just not giving a fuck. Social media is so weird. I feel that I am also missing out on a lot of possible friendships because of not using social media. A friend of mine said “you aren’t putting yourself out there, no one can find you if you are in the shadows” which I feel is very true, for friendships and possible relationships as well. Okay so onto facebook… I grew up in the prime of Facebook. I was there for all the changes and updates and when it first really started to blossom into what it was. This was before twitter was even popular. I grew up with sending everyone friend requests and the bliss of making random internet friends. Not caring about what you post and just having a good time. I think before I stopped using facebook when I was around 15 or 16 and I moved to twitter completely, which felt better for the way I felt, I had around 2,500 friends on facebook. Well that is definitely not the case now. Facebook is a weird strange place filled with old people and family members who haven’t cared about me for 10 years that send me a lovely friend request. I have such bad anxiety about facebook friend requests. It is so incredibly hard to explain. I initially made a facebook for the soul purpose of adding friends on xbox so I could stay in contact with them when we weren’t playing xbox. And then of course I started popping up in peoples suggested friends on facebook. I was friends with maybe 20 or less friends, very close people. Then my friend requests started flowing with people I know who I wasn’t close with. I left some people in what I like to call the friend request purgatory for LITERALLY 3 FUCKING YEARS. I was so scared to accept it and let them into the things I liked and would share on facebook with my close friends. I slipped into a music “scene” and made some friends in this specific scene. There was a guy in a band that actually got signed to a big label who I thought was really cool and funny who I thought hated me, he sent me a friend request and I left him in the purgatory for a whole year before declining the friend request. Just because he lived a whole 3 hours away and was way cooler than ill ever be and I didn’t want him to find me weird or a fucking loser. So I just never accepted it. I am not sure if he ever saw it pending for so long but I did change my profile picture in that time and I am sure he seen that. I feel really bad about it and it makes me cringe with awkwardness. I am not that bad at socializing and id like to think of myself as a funny and nice person. I feel like I am easy to get along with. But now I am no longer apart of that “scene” if you even consider me being “apart” of it. I just went to local shows and really enjoyed the music. That’s is my main problem with facebook. Random people I do and don’t know sending a request “HEY LET ME IN I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND” but… do you actually or do you think we are just mutual and wanting to network. Facebook is a weird place. Especially local selling communities. I live in the Midwest so there are racists and homophobes left and right. In conclusion of this awful mess of a post I just wish I could feel normal. To feel more understood. God forbid I ever tell anyone I feel “misunderstood” without being made fun of or not taken seriously because that’s just what people do now. I understand that the world is full of assholes and judgmental people but, there is also people out there that care and are good people. They are harder to find than the people who suck but they exist. You just have to look a little harder or just be patient. A dear friend of mine told me that I should just be myself and whoever doesn’t like it can just fuck off because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what other people think. But to just appreciate the people who do care. I try to focus on those points and to let myself realize everything will be okay if I just stay genuine and true to myself. People will always have something to say and dislike, all you can do is keep on truckin’ and keep doing what you want. At the end of the day the only thing that matters is your own happiness. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Sometimes you have to just not give a single fuck. Maybe one day I will come back around to social media and finally come to terms with it. Who knows? But for now I am working on it one day at a time and will eventually ease back into it. Still very scared of it all, but progress is progress.

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