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wartakes · 9 months

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Ukraine and the Scary New World (OLD ESSAY)

This essay was first posted on March 16th, 2022 - not long after Russia began its invasion of Ukraine and the war that continues at time of posting.

After several weeks of little sleep and much anxiety, this was my attempt at trying to make sense of what had happened so far with Ukraine, as well as trying to contextualize what it meant for the world and for war in general going forward.

(Full essay below the cut).

So. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past month or so, you’re probably aware some events have transpired – and are still ongoing. But just for the sake of clarity, I’ll elaborate a bit on what I mean by that. On February 24th, 2022, the Russian Federation invaded Ukraine in what appears to be an attempt to topple its government, install a puppet, and drag it by force back into Russia’s “sphere of influence” as part of a blatant war of imperialism and conquest.

There. I think you’re all caught up now.

Many of you know I’ve taken an interest in the Russo-Ukrainian conflict before it boiled over into full-scale war. Hell, I’ve taken an interest in the conflict since long before this current war appeared on the horizon, or before I ever started writing here. I’ve known as I’ve watched events unfold over the past few weeks that I wanted to write something related to what’s happening in Ukraine, but I was unsure what to write – and also was exhausted just keeping up with developments on the war from day to day and feeling overwhelming anger, sadness, dread, etc.

I could just give you an update regarding the situation on the ground in Ukraine, but then I’m really just drifting more into becoming an OSINT guy and that’s not really my thing (besides, whatever I write could be out of date by the time I finally post this essay). I could go back and ruminate on why we are where we are now – and I may very well do that at some point, but I also feel like that isn’t especially useful for anyone at this moment in time. A time and place will come for more reflection on that, but right now I’m trying to think of something more useful in the lane I operate in and for moving us forward.

Instead, I think it’s time I tried to get back to the core of why I started writing these things to begin with, rather than spending too much time just being a typical, run of the mill military analyst. I needed some time to process what was happening and get a handle on it before I could even contemplate getting back to this, but now that I’ve had time to collect myself I think we need to talk about how we on the Left need to think about Ukraine and wars like it going forward – because more are coming. What is going on in Ukraine right now is a major turning point for the entire world, and quite simply put we need to adapt as these changes occur if we want to have any hope of staying relevant and fulfilling our hopes of a better world. The horrific events unfolding in Ukraine need to be an impetus to step up everything I’ve already been advocating for in these essays and other rantings and ravings online, not only if we want to be seen as a credible and believable alternative to the powers that be, but also if we are actually going to be true to any of the principles we allege that we stand for here on the Left.

I should stress going into this that I’m not writing this piece because I think our prospects on the Left are dim when it comes to this area. If anything, I’ve been pleasantly surprised in the aggregate of the response on the Left to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. But being me, I’m not one to sit on my laurels. I’m taking this opportunity to foot stomp what I’ve been saying for a while and encouraging people to keep the momentum we have gained on changing other Leftists’ views regarding international affairs, war, and related errata into something resembling what could be actual, functional policy if and when we ever actually are able to govern.

Learning to Live with Complexity

I’ll be honest: as an expanded war in Ukraine began to look more and more likely several weeks ago, I was dreading what the response on the Left – in particular, the online Left – would look like. I was bracing for a level of posting that had hitherto been unseen in human history. And, for a brief day or two after the initial invasion, I certainly did see some absolutely atomically hot takes come across my dash (it’s a miracle I still have my account with what I wanted to respond with).

That being said, I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised by what the reaction on the whole by the Left in the United States and the West has been. Even if you have legitimate grievances with the United States, NATO, and other Western governments and institutions, it’s pretty easy to see that Russia’s naked violation of Ukraine’s sovereignty and horrific violence committed against its people is inexcusable and indefensible. People seem to be calling this what it is: bad.

Of course, there have still been hold outs. Mostly, its been the usual suspects of apologism for authoritarianism like Glenn Greenwald or the Greyzone crew of Max Blumenthal and Aaron Maté, and various Marxist-Leninist political parties like the Party for Socialism and Liberation (I refuse to link to any of their material on principle but if you feel like taking psychic damage it’s out there to see). These are your typical tankies and campists who have only doubled down on their defense of Russia in the name of “anti-imperialism” (despite the fact we are watching Russia engage in a literal war of empire, even in so far as Russian President Vladimir Putin has described it in speeches leading up to the invasion – barely even attempting to conceal it). There have been others as well, who may not fit neatly into either of those bubbles but are certainly adjacent to them. These voices may not be as numerous as those who oppose Russian aggression, but they remain loud, attract attention, and retain influence.

I’ve always typically been more of the type to say that we should just ignore voices like these. To not even waste time and energy on rebutting them. To an extent, I still believe that in some cases. But I also think to an extent that we can no longer afford to simply ignore them. Not when the rest of us on the left can become lumped in with their horrible positions and they can have an actual impact on how mainstream Leftist organizations try to message on the conflict. Not when they make a mockery out of those of us who stand on the sides of actual victims of imperialism, while they champion the violence being exhibited on those victims. It’s not enough to just ignore them or only say that they are stupid and wrong (they are), but for us to be able to have a coherent response and present an alternative line of thinking for those on the left that isn’t only made up of “you are stupid and wrong.” Quite simply, we need actual policy alternatives.

This presents some uncomfortable realities to deal with for some on the left. I know that for many who still aren’t tankies or campists or whatever, there is a lot of healthy skepticism and hesitancy to advocate strongly for one position or policy or another when it comes to war and diplomacy. Events like the U.S. invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan and more still continue to color many people’s thoughts and affect their outlooks – for better and for worse. I understand that some people see the United States sending arms or other forms of military support and get an immediate, negative response at the front of their brain based on past experiences.

To that, I can only say this: I understand, but we need to learn to live with that. We need to learn to live with complexity.

By learning to live with complexity, I don’t mean that we should simply ignore all the little details when looking like wars like in Ukraine. That would simply be the approach the United States took to many regimes it supported during the Cold War and the Global War on Terror but with a new visage. A return to the reverse-campism of U.S. foreign policy where we just threw weapons and money at any dictator as long as they said they were opposed to Socialism or Communism or supported U.S. counterterrorism operations. Hell, in a few cases during the Cold War we threw money at dictators who still were authoritarian socialists just as long as they weren’t aligned to the Soviet Union– as we saw in places like Somalia, Egypt, Iraq, Yugoslavia, and more.

No, when I say we need to learn to live with complexity, I mean the opposite of ignoring all the little details for the sake of convenience. I mean instead that we should look closer at them. A complex situation should be an invitation for us to dig deeper and learn more about the context and the circumstances, not a repellent for us to either look away or to handwave the intricacies and pretend we see, hear, and say no evil.

The reason I bring this up is I often still see a lot of people working hard to bring up reasons to not support Ukraine. There’s a whole variety of them: not wanting to support the United States; not wanting to support NATO; being wary of the U.S. and NATO causing escalation; not wanting to contributed to violence and war; being (understandably) concerned about Ukrainian far-right nationalism and outright Nazism; etc. etc. The list goes on.

All of these things I can understand and accept to a point. The problem for me is, there is no critical look at the circumstances of the conflict and the reasons for being wary beyond the initial appraisal of what’s going on. There’s no further investigation to what lies below the surface. There is no examination of how widespread the political powerbase of the far-right even is in Ukraine (like the fact that Ukraine’s far-right – even after conflict first started with Russia back in 2014 – have fared horribly in Ukraine’s elections). There’s no interrogation of what alternatives Ukraine has to war that aren’t simply just giving Russia everything it wants and giving up their freedom in the process. There’s no asking of “ok, if Ukraine shouldn’t get weapons from the West, who the fuck else is going to give them arms to defend themselves against Russia?” There are constant knee-jerk reactions based purely on appearances and first-looks based only on the broadest of ideological assumptions that are probed no further. We need to be able to look at a situation in greater depth before we reach judgements and decide upon action – or inaction. Otherwise, we will accomplish nothing of any help worldwide.

Recontextualizing “Critical Support”

When my leftward bent first intensified, I often heard a lot of people throw around the phrase “critical support.” It feels like something I don’t actually see much of anymore, or when I do it feels like it gets thrown around more as a meme than anything else. I think my ultimate point in this essay is we need to reclaim and recontextualize that saying, because quite frankly: you’re never going to find a conflict where you will be able to uncritically support a side – even if they are solidly the one in the right. There will always be baggage, big or small. No one is perfect. No one is blameless. No one is without sin. That’s reality. That’s the world we live in. And yet too many people seem to think that is the case and create a gold standard of the “perfect” recipient of our support that is impossible to meet.

Again: that is not an excuse for us to look the other way at states or groups or whoever we support against aggression when they do wrong – whether it’s one glaring transgression or a number of smaller ones that reach critical mass. But it’s important to keep in mind that more often than not it’s going to be the latter rather than the former. IT’s not going to be big, glaring failings that we can all turn towards and say, “that’s unacceptable”. It’s all the small things. All the little details that someone will bring up in a Twitter post and point to and say “I told you so” about and say that one instance alone is enough to merit the end of any and all support. While big bold red lines for our support do and should exist, those lines are few and far between. Everything else is fuzzier, blurrier, less distinct. If we make everything a red line, we end up doing nothing. We end up retreating into isolationism and ethno-centrism and exceptionalism much in the same way many on the far-right do (yet more evidence in favor of Horseshoe Theory and Red-Brownism). We need to accept that there is no perfect side in a war, while ruminating on how many transgressions we should put up with before it’s a bridge too far. It’s a process.

We need to be able to look at a war or conflict and the parties involved and take in the big picture. We need to take in the circumstances and context, as well as the positive and negative aspects of the players – big and small. We also need to think about them both in the short and long term, think about what potential consequences there may be and how they could possibly be mitigated over time if action is taken. Really, we just need to actually think about this stuff more in general. Just fucking think. Use our brains. Not just see one thing and then immediately make up our minds and proceed to double, triple, quadruple down on our judgement no matter what else we see out of confirmation bias.

We shouldn’t become involved in every war, every conflict, every battle around the world. Not only is that not right, but it’s also not sustainable or doable – as recent experiences have shown. But as I’ve said before, there are wars that are wars of necessity, wars of survival for their people. I’ve grown to dislike the term “just” war, as I think it’s about as useful as the term “good” war (in that it isn’t). There are no “good” wars as all war is bad – but something we are cursed with. There are no “just” wars, as killing and maiming is never a morally and ethically “just” endeavor. The better term is more “necessary” wars; “unavoidable” wars; “justified” (as opposed to “just”) wars. If you’re looking for a justified war, you are not going to find one that fits the bill as much as the current conflict in Ukraine does. You have a large aggressor state launching a full-scale invasion of a smaller state and waging total war on it based upon false pretenses in a blatant violation of its sovereignty and international norms – mirroring in many ways the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003. This is as “just” a war as war ever gets, believe me.

For all of Ukraine’s faults, it is a predominately democratic country. It is a flawed democracy, still in transition. Its people have made an earnest attempt to better their society since the 2014 Revolution of Dignity and have been seeking to separate themselves from a literal imperial power that seeks a veto over their internal decisions and to impose its will upon them by force. Ukraine absolutely has its problems – which will no doubt be multiplied by this war. Problems like corruption, extremism, political infighting. I know I certainly don’t ignore those problems and I will push Ukraine to work on them in the future.

But right now, those other problems just don’t matter as much as supporting them in their fight to just keep existing. As much as the Neo-Nazi Azov Regiment can and should absolutely go fuck themselves, right now I can’t let one band of crazies on the frontline be the only reason to not support a nation of 44 million people trying to defend themselves from being conquered and subjugated and possibly worse. None of the problems Ukraine has can be fixed if Ukraine doesn’t exist anymore. Once we ensure that the people and nation of Ukraine can continue to exist independently, that should be an invitation for us to engage with them as they try to avoid slipping further into destructive paths like reactionism and fascism and nationalism – rather than just immediately write them off now. They have to survive if they’re going to change and to write them off as beyond saving in the state they’re in currently is a disservice to every Ukrainian that has died since 2013 trying to make their country a better place.

If there’s one truism that’s absolutely been born out for me as I’ve delved deeper into adulthood, it’s that doing the right thing is never easy. It’s often not only difficult, but uncomfortable and stressful and anxiety inducing and wracked with doubt. The best possible answer to our problems – one with no negative repercussions and no baggage or downsides or uncomfortable facts to deal with – is never, ever going to exist. We live in a world where we need to find the least-worst options to do good. Just as I think there is no such thing as a utopia, there are no paths we can take to a better world that don’t have something “problematic” associated with them in some way. There are absolutely things we should draw a line in the sand on and say “no further” when it comes to our actions abroad and support to others. But we need to learn that those big, glaring, red lines are the exception, not the norm. The devil is in the details. It’s the little things that add up and matter. We need to learn about where, in the aggregate, we draw the line. About what is acceptable to us, and when it’s too much and we should say no more. We need to be able to identify a situation that is “acceptable” for the time being, as it will never be “perfect”. Ever.

A Scary New World

We are witnessing yet another watershed historical moment unfolding in real time before our eyes in a decade that has already had far too many of those. The Russo-Ukrainian War is a turning point in international relations. We are seeing the collapse of a world order that has endured since the end of the Cold War and something new arising in its place. It’s not clear that that new order is yet. While I still think the risk of a wider war – and certainly nuclear war – is still low (though a valid concern), what we need to be more worried about is an intense period of aggressive competition between states and a return to a more multipolar, unstable world with more conflict in general. The war we’re seeing in Ukraine will not be the last of its kind that we see for some time. I worry that it will be simply the first of many other conflicts like it in the decades to come.

It is on that note, I come to my usual, recurring conclusion that I will continue to beat like the dead horse it is until more people listen. If we want to be true to our ideals and principles – like international solidarity with those who are oppressed and deprived of the basic necessities of life – we cannot afford to be disconnected from the world events that will be unfolding from here on in. We cannot turn a blind eye to them, and we certainly cannot pick sides based only on aesthetics or performative anti-Americanism and anti-Westernism or based on standards of purity that are completely unobtainable outside of fiction.

Though it may be uncomfortable for some, you will often find yourself – by happenstance – on the same side of those you distrust or even hate. You may have to settle for supporting a side that doesn’t 100% line up with your values, but is generally speaking trying to do good and has room for improvement. You may have to support things you otherwise find abhorrent, like the use of military force and supply of arms. These are unfortunate side effects of trying to do the right thing in defense of those being maimed and slaughtered by aggression.

We all became leftists or socialist or whatever you want to call yourself because somewhere, on a fundamental level, we want to do good. We want the world to be a better place for everyone living in it in all aspects. It’s a good and noble thing to want, but there is – unfortunately – no easy way to do that. It means making tough decisions. It means doing things sometimes that you don’t want to do. That should not be an excuse for bad behavior on your part – and especially not for excusing the bad behavior of others. What it should be is an impetus to avoid inaction when lives are on the line and make those tough decisions. It is good that we have firm principles and we should not abandon them, but we need to learn when to pick our rhetorical and ideological battles and know when it’s worth drawing a line in the sand (or not). We need to rediscover what “critical-support” really means and think hard on what the boundaries of that support are.

These are all tough, introspective questions that we need to ask ourselves and I don’t have any hard and fast answers to them right now. Even if I tried to offer you some answers in that vein, no two situations are alike; no two conflicts are alike. These are decisions we’ll need to make on a case-by-case basis as we strive to understand what’s going on in the world beyond our borders. But as that world becomes more chaotic, more violent, more dangerous, these are the conversations we need to have in our own minds and with one another as leftists. These are the issues we need to debate and hash out going forward if we really do earnestly want to make this world a better place. The world is becoming scarier, but we can’t let that frighten us off from trying to make it better.

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questifer · 1 year

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It's Been A While

Some of you have been following me on Twitter for quite a while now, but for everyone else I'd like to summarize just where I've been and what I have been up to since I left Tumblr. I was going to write this out all in one post, but as it turns out recapping 3 years' worth of dramatic life and career events is a lot. So today, I'll be posting only the first part: Why I left Blizzard and what happened next.

Chapter One: The End of an Era

Last time I was active on here, it was around the 2019 Blizzcon in which I helped create the Bastion Blizzcon Demo. It was a hard Blizzcon and many who were staying with me at the con may have noticed that I was struggling to enjoy myself. As it turned out, the journey up to shipping that demo had been extremely difficult for me. I didn't know it at the time, but I was also in the throes of a 6 month long manic episode. To summarize without going into too much detail, I became extremely paranoid about my coworkers talking behind my back, making choices without consulting me that impacted my work, and dismissing me when I raised concerns. That paranoia manifested in anger that I struggled to contain and so I damaged several important work relationships along the way. I also was barely sleeping, had developed extreme caffeine sensitivity, and ended up at urgent care for gastritis and heart palpitations on more than one occasion. At its peak, I would come home from work and scream-cry on my floor and contemplate either quitting or committing suicide. It became very clear to me that this wasn't your run-of-the-mill creative psychosis that comes over me on occasion when the work itself gets hard. I'll get into the diagnosis, how my psychiatrist and I recognized the manic episode, and how I got to where I am now in a later post. By the time COVID hit and we were all sent home in March 2020, I could not have been happier to get out of the office with people I no longer trusted or thought liked me at all. All at once the social pressure to put on a happy face, respond to people walking up to my desk randomly, and moderate my chaotic emotional state evaporated. With the context of only being perceived while on video calls, I gained the ability to control how I interacted with others. I thought this change in attitude would improve my relationship with my peers, but sadly it didn't. They had already decided I was a horrible collaborator and no longer advocated for me behind closed doors. In truth, I don't really blame them, but I do wish they had given me the benefit of the doubt. It was not business as usual up in my brain-meats. After 4 months of more of the same, I updated my resume and browsed LinkedIn for roles that raised my interest. In truth I had been daydreaming about something new, something with less baggage, but my love for WoW, my team, and Blizzard was still extremely strong. I was very conflicted about leaving. When an opportunity arose to work with a studio in Sweden on an IP that I really liked, it presented a rather romantic idea of what my life could be. I could break clean with all that had been going on at Blizzard. I could live somewhere new and different. I could finally prove that I was not just a WoW quest designer, but a game designer of considerable skill. My friends and family were encouraging but I did not hear them when they brought up very reasonable concerns. Was it too far? How would I do without a support system? Was there another way to accomplish my goals? It was extreme, and I knew it, but a part of me felt that the world would just prevent me from going if I wasn't meant to. And that's how I learned just how easy it was to sell almost everything I owned, pack my life into 3 suitcases, get on a plane, and suddenly live in Sweden.

And with that, I'll pick up with the Sweden Saga in my next post.

#game development #covid19 #pandemic #international relocation #World of Warcraft #mental health crisis #bipolar disorder #manic episode #tw: suicide #suicidal ideation

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jordanianroyals · 2 months

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youtube

Queen Rania of Jordan’s speech at Web Summit Qatar 27 February 2024

“Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim,

Thank you, Katherine. I am grateful to be here in Doha with all of you today.

One of the most fascinating things about technology is its ability to reveal human nature. The way we interact with our devices tells us a lot about ourselves.

We are, by nature, storytellers; it’s how we make sense of the world. Every selfie, status update, photo, and video we share adds a few more lines to the story that we are constantly writing, and rewriting, about ourselves.

We publish moments of our lives to our social media pages, never quite knowing how they will be received. Will we be praised? Judged?

Or, worst of all, will we be ignored?

Because, for a social species like ours, invisibility is akin to death. How can anyone feel they belong in a world where their story fades into the background?

For decades, one people’s story has been obscured… relegated to a footnote in a narrative authored by someone else. It is the story of Palestine, whose people have been pushed to the periphery, just out of sight – and out of mind.

For too long, Palestinians have been dehumanized and discredited… turned into a people unto whom anything can be done, without consequence.

Their status as an occupied people is glossed over. Their diverse population of doctors, educators, and activists is disregarded. Their many attempts at non-violent resistance – from historic strikes and civil disobedience, to Gaza’s Great March of Return – have been crushed, even criminalized.

Instead, Palestinians are reduced to antagonists in someone else’s story: They are cast as terrorists and security threats, nothing more.

Yet, today, for all the cruelest reasons, Palestinians have come into the world’s field of vision with sharper focus. And, three-quarters of a century since the Palestinian-Israeli conflict began, millions around the world are getting their first glimpse at what it means to be a Palestinian today.

In the wake of the war on Gaza, many of us have seen our social media landscapes redrawn. The colorful feeds on our phones have given way to monochrome: white shrouds, grey rubble, and black-and-white screens warning of “sensitive content” ahead.

I sometimes hesitate to reveal what is behind the warning screen. Because, after more than 140 days of war, I know what awaits: a harrowing snapshot of life and death in what has become the most miserable place on Earth.

Babies covered in searing burns… Children with bloody bandages where limbs should be… Mothers peeling back shrouds to kiss angelic faces goodbye…

Scrolling through these images of a merciless war, I find myself thinking, “It can’t get any worse.” And then, it does.

The bar for humanity keeps falling to new lows.

Actions that were once unthinkable are now commonplace: Hospitals under fire. Houses of worship destroyed. Civilians killed with white flags in hand.

How can we possibly make sense of that?

The fact is, when one side of a conflict has been robbed of the right to tell its story, we’re left with an incomplete narrative.

The current iteration opens like this: “The war began on October 7th.”

To be sure, the brutal October 7th attack opened a new and devastating chapter in the saga. But the larger story has been unfolding for more than most of our lives: 75 years in which Palestinians have not known a single day of genuine peace.

Acts of war are not always as clear-cut as an airstrike, an ambush, or an abduction.

Sometimes, violence takes the form of a crippling 17-year blockade… as decades of almost daily deaths. It appears as checkpoints, a separation wall, armed settler violence, detentions without charge, and the endless indignities of life under occupation.

At The Hague last month, while presenting Israel’s defense against the charge of genocide, a member of its legal team argued that the historical context of the conflict was irrelevant… because, for him, October 7th was context enough.

That’s the trouble with so-called cycles of violence: no one can agree on where to start the story. Each side instinctively centers the suffering of their own people and minimizes the other—a posture enabled by digital echo chambers that reassure us that our opinion is the only credible one.

The historical story of Israel is centered on World War II, the Holocaust, and the Jewish people’s desire for a homeland.

Yet, this account has overshadowed the Palestinian story: the Balfour Declaration, the ethnic cleansing of the Nakba, and the decades of displacement, dispossession, and illegal military occupation that have followed… and continue to this day.

The echo chambers in our minds are hardwired to dismiss anything that doesn’t confirm our convictions. Yet, the war in Gaza, livestreamed to the world, has brought into full view the power imbalance that has dictated the story of this conflict.

Many in the West have been left with an uneasy sense that the Palestinian issue isn’t as black-and-white as they had been led to believe… that they didn’t have the whole story.

It’s uncomfortable to challenge long-held beliefs. But beyond the comfort zone of the familiar lies the opportunity to understand, connect, and grow.

One can acknowledge that, for many, Israel’s founding countered a historical injustice – while recognizing that it created another that has yet to be resolved. You can condemn the killing of Israeli civilians, while affirming that absolutely nothing could ever justify the annihilation of Gaza and its people.

But many who have expressed these sentiments have faced a backlash – as if it’s a crime to place equal worth on Palestinian and Israeli lives… As if Palestinians exist outside the limits of our humanity.

Yet, just as stories can dehumanize, they can also empower. They can help us see our own humanity reflected in another’s eyes.

Over the past few months, many Gazans have been thrust into roles they never asked for: photographers and content creators, turned war correspondents… reluctant spokespeople for Palestinian suffering and strength.

For those living half a world away from Gaza, it can be difficult to relate to a faceless people under attack. But that distance falls away when scrolling through the Instagram grid of a cheeky, teenage boy in northern Gaza.

His sense of humor may remind you of your son, your little brother... yourself. Yet, he is joking at the irony of surviving months of shelling only to potentially starve to death.

Another brave young woman shares updates from a sea of tents in Rafah. When the lack of clean water forced her to cut her curly hair, activists across the world cut off a lock of their own in support.

This is, at once, a tragic and a transformational moment for the people of Palestine. Just as their lives are crumbling around them, people everywhere are connecting with them. From London to Madrid, D.C. to Dublin, people are mobilizing for Palestine in unprecedented numbers. Jewish activists around the world have been some of the loudest voices calling for a ceasefire. Murals of Gazan bloggers have appeared on European streets.

This new generation of citizen journalists is being credited with “humanizing” the people of Gaza.

The tragedy is Palestinians have been human all along – it had just been simpler to believe otherwise.

Today, the visibility of Palestinians is dependent on their devices – but also on decisions made worlds away, in office buildings and corporate headquarters.

Many Palestinians and advocates have said they believe major platforms are limiting their reach. Some have had their accounts suspended or deleted after speaking up on what the International Court of Justice has deemed a “plausible” genocide.

It can be nearly impossible to prove that you have been shadow-banned or censored. Yet, it is hard for users to trust platforms that control their content from the shadows, based on vague standards.

Online and offline, blurred standards have never worked for Palestinians’ advantage. Just look at global benchmarks of human rights… international law… universal values of equality and justice… Some of our most basic principles are being rewritten in real-time, to rationalize an irrational level of violence.

Why is the killing of some condemned, while the killing of others justified? Why is depriving one child of food a crime, but starving one million Gazan children an acceptable outcome of war?

These questions are echoing across the world, creating an unmistakable shift in global perceptions.

But what’s the point of changing minds without changing reality?

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the power and limitations of solidarity.

The people of Gaza have never been more connected – yet never more isolated. Cut off from food, water, medicine, fuel, and everything required to sustain human life, they have continued to reach for their phones… to reach for us.

Palestinians have long dreamt of telling their story to the world. Today, they are being heard, loud and clear…but at what cost?

It has taken their mass killing to garner mass support.

Why must Palestinians audition for their humanity?

Why must some fight tooth and nail for compassion, while others are given it freely?

What does it matter if millions of people believe you have been wronged… if the injustice continues?

My feelings on social media activism have always been mixed. Can a TikTok takeover or trending hashtag really make a difference? Are we elevating the stories of the oppressed, or providing ourselves with an easy out?

I have no simple answers. If anything, I become less sure each time I pick up my phone.

Because, every browsing session is an exercise in digital whiplash – a little girl’s mutilated body dangling from the ruins of a building hit by an Israeli missile… followed by a Japanese man taking to the streets alone each day to demonstrate in solidarity with Gaza. Hungry children wandering in the rain, carrying empty pots and pans… followed by a Swiss mommy-blogger spreading awareness of their plight through tears.

A punch to the gut, then a glimmer of hope.

But we need more than a glimmer.

We need a ceasefire. A cease to the destruction… A cease to the displacement… A cease to the deprivation by design.

This war must end, now… the inhumane obstruction of aid delivery must end…and the hostages and detainees on both sides must go home.

But that is only the beginning.

Ultimately, Palestinians want what most of us take for granted: The right to self-determination. The ability to govern their own lives, in dignity and security. Freedom from occupation.

These things are only possible through the establishment of a sovereign Palestinian state, living side by side in peace with Israel.

When we fail to stand up for what is right, we sign off on all that is wrong.

Palestinian solidarity cannot become a passing trend. The millions who have amplified their voices cannot let the story of Palestine fade into the background once more.

Each voice sends forth a ripple of possibility. Together, they can create a new reality for the people of Palestine.

Public pressure can rewrite the future. Collective action has compelled leaders to take steps once thought impossible: to abolish slavery … to end apartheid …to take down walls.

But, make no mistake: There is nothing more powerful than an informed, indignant global community, calling for an end to a great injustice.

Because, change is possible. Injustice is reversible.

But the onus is on us. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.”

We must insist on a world where peace, dignity, and freedom are inevitable.

For you. For us. For the people of Palestine.

Because, their story is part of our story. And, in showing up for them, we are showing up for ourselves.

Thank you all very much.”

#Queen Rania #video

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elijahkelly · 2 years

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10/6/2022

I can't sleep so I guess I'm going to introduce myself and list just about every fact I know about myself.

My name is Elijah. I am 20 years old, and my birthday is June 19th. I am a Gemini. I was born in Memphis, Tennessee, raised in Southaven, Mississippi, and I currently live in Starkville, Mississippi. I am gay and non-binary, and my pronouns are he/they. I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I am in my junior year at Mississippi State University and I am studying Psychology. Ideally I would like to become a psychiatric nurse or really anything that puts me in a hospital setting.

I am in a relationship. My boyfriend's name is Dylan, and we have been dating for almost two years now. He goes to school with me at MSU. We met when I was a freshman in high school (he was a junior) and I've pretty much been in love with him since then. I pursued him all throughout highschool, and he was my first ever kiss. We tried dating back then, but due to too many conflicting issues it just didn't work. But I was still in love with him the whole time, until January 1st, 2021 when we started dating officially. We've been going strong ever since. I plan on marrying him someday.

I live with Dylan and our two roommates, Becca and Heather. We have two black cats named Luna and Amethyst.

I am a baby drag queen. I've been doing drag for just over a year, but I've only been performing for a few months. My name is Kelly Klepto. I enjoy doing it, but it's super expensive.

I am a child of divorced parents and I am the youngest of three. I have a brother who is a year and a half older than me named Zach, and a half-sister (same mom) who is over ten years older than me named Kaylee. Kaylee has three children. My niece, Georgia (11), is her firstborn. My nephews are Joseph (2) and Julian (4 months).

Now for some random facts about me. I am left handed. I play the piano and I want to learn the guitar. I work at the gym on campus as a front desk attendant. I have the first 50 digits of pi memorized. Lavender and pumpkin are two of my favorite scents. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I am an atheist. I consider myself to be funny. I was in marching band in high school (I played the synthesizer in front ensemble/pit). I am very eloquently spoken. I enjoy Pokemon, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, and The Office. Kiki's Delivery Service is my comfort movie. My only allergy is to animal dander. I'm a picky eater. I need background stimulation to sleep. I believe I'm a very eccentric person. I love making bad/corny jokes on purpose to get a response out of people. I love bugs.

I'm sure there's plenty more I could say about myself, but I'll leave it at that for now. I plan to periodically post life updates so I have something to look back on as a sort of catalog of my life. I don't intend on anyone else actually caring about this blog, but if they do, more power to them.

But for now, I'll leave it here.

#gay #lgbt #lgbtq #nonbinary #life #update

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felassan · 4 years

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Insights into DAI’s development from Blood, Sweat, and Pixels

The book is by game industry journalist Jason Schreier (it’s an interesting read and well-written, I recommend it). This is the cliff notes version of the DAI chapter. This info isn’t new as the book is from 2017 (I finally got around to buying it). Some insight into DAO, DA2 and cancelled DA projects is also given. Cut for length.

BW hoped that DA would become the LotR of video games. DAO’s development was “a hellish seven-year slog”

The DAI team are compared to a chaotic “pirate ship”, which is what they called themselves internally. “It’ll get where it needs to go, but it’s going to go all over the place. Sail over here. Drink some rum. Go over here. Do something else. That’s how Mark Darrah likes to run his team.” An alternative take from someone else who worked on the game: “It was compared to a pirate ship because it was chaotic and the loudest voice in the room usually set the direction. I think they smartly adopted the name and morphed it into something better.”

A game about the Inquisition and the large-scale political conflicts it solves across Thedas, where the PC was the Inquisitor, was originally the vision for ‘DA2′. Plans had to change when SW:TOR’s development kept stalling and slipping. Frustrated EA execs wanted a new product from BW to bolster quarterly sales targets, and decided that DA would have to fill the gap. BW agreed to deliver DA2 within 16 months. “Basically, DA2 exists to fill that hole. That was the inception. It was always intended to be a game made to fit in that”

BW wanted to call it DA: Exodus, but EA’s marketing execs insisted on DA2, no matter what that name implied

DAO’s scope (Origin stories, that amount of big areas, variables, reactivity) was just not doable in a year, even if everyone worked overtime. To solve this problem, BW shelved the Inquisition idea and made a risky call: DA2 would be set in one city over time, allowing locations to be recycled and months to be shaved off dev time. They also axed DAO features like customizing party members’ equipment. These were the best calls they were able to make on a tight line

Many at BW are still proud of DA2. Those that worked on it grew closer from all being in it together

In certain dark accounting corners of EA, despite fan response to DA2 and its lower sales compared to DAO, DA2 is considered a wild success

By summer 2011 BW decided to cancel DA2′s expansion Exalted March in favor of a totally new game. They needed to get away from the stigma of DA2, reboot the franchise and show they could make triple-A quality good games.

DAI was going to be the most ambitious game BW had ever made and had a lot to prove (that BW could return to form, that EA wasn’t crippling the studio, that BW could make an ‘open-world’ RPG with big environments). There was a bit of a tone around the industry that there were essentially 2 tiers of BW, the ME team and then everyone else, and the DA team had a scrappy desire to fight back against that

DAI was behind schedule early on due to unfamiliar new technology; the new engine Frostbite was very technically challenging and required more work than anyone had expected. Even before finishing DA2 BW were looking for a new engine for the next game. Eclipse was creaky, obsolete, not fully-featured, graphically lacking. The ME team used Unreal, which made inter-team collab difficult. “Our tech strategy was just a mess. Every time we’d start a new game, people would say, ‘Oh, we should just pick a new engine’.”

After meeting with an EA exec BW decided on Frostbite. Nobody had ever used it to make an RPG, but EA owned FB dev studio DICE, and the engine was powerful and had good graphic capabilities & visual effects. If BW started making all its games on FB, it could share tech with sister studios and borrow tools when they learned cool new tricks.

For a while they worked on a prototype called Blackfoot, to get a feel for FB and to make a free-to-play DA MP game. It fizzled as the team was too small, which doesn’t lend itself well to working with FB, and was cancelled

BW resurfaced the old Inquisition idea. What might a DA3 look like on FB? Their plan by 2012 was to make an open-world RPG heavily inspired by Skyrim that hit all the beats DA2 couldn’t. “My secret mission was to shock and awe the players with the massive amounts of content.” People complained there wasn’t enough in DA2. “At the end of DAI, I actually want people to go, ‘Oh god, not [another] level’.”

It was originally called Dragon Age 3: Inquisition

BW wanted to launch on next-gen consoles only but EA’s profit forecasters were caught up in the rise of iPad and iPhone gaming and were worried the next-gen consoles wouldn’t sell well. As a safeguard EA insist it also ship on current-gen. Most games at that time followed this strategy. Shipping on 5 platforms at once would be a first for BW

Ambitions were piling up. This was to be BW’s first 3D open-world game, and their first game on Frostbite, an engine that had never been used to make RPGs. It needed to be made in roughly two years, it needed to ship on 5 platforms, and, oh yeah, it needed to restore the reputation of a studio that had been beaten up pretty badly. “Basically we had to do new consoles, a new engine, new gameplay, build the hugest game that we’ve ever made, and build it to a higher standard than we ever did. With tools that don’t exist.”

FB didn’t have RPG stats, a visible PC, spells, save systems, a party of 4 people, the same kind of cutscenes etc and couldn’t create any of those things. BW had to create these on top of it. BW initially underestimated how much work this would be. BW were the FB guinea pigs. Early on in DAI’s development, even the most basic tasks were excruciating, and this impacted even fundamental aspects of game design and dev. When FB’s tools did function they were finicky and difficult. DICE’s team supported them but had limited resources and were 8 hours ahead. Since creating new content in FB was so difficult, trying to evaluate its quality became impossible. FB engine updates made things even more challenging. After every one, BW had to manually merge and test it; this was debilitating, and there were times when the build didn’t work for a month or was really unstable.

Meanwhile the art department were having a blast. FB was great for big beautiful environments. For months they made as much as possible, taking educated guesses when they didn’t know yet what the designers needed. “For a long time there was a joke on the project that we’d made a fantastic-looking screenshot generator, because you could walk around these levels with nothing to do. You could take great pictures.”

The concept of DAI as open-world was stymying the story/writers and gameplay/designers teams. What were players going to do in these big landscapes? How could BW ensure exploring remained fun after many hours? Their teams didn’t have time for system designers to envision, iterate and test a good “core gameplay loop” (quests, encounters, activities etc). FB wouldn’t allow it. Designers couldn’t test new ideas or answer questions because basic features were missing or didn’t exist yet.

EA’s CEO told BW they should have the ability to ride dragons and that this would make DAI sell 10 million copies. BW didn’t take this idea very seriously

BW had an abstract idea that the player would roam the world solving problems and building up power or influence they could use. But how would that look/work like in-game? This could have used refinement and testing but instead they decided to build some levels and hope they could figure it out as they went.

One day in late 2012, after a year of strained development on DAI, Mark Darrah asked Mike Laidlaw to go to lunch. “We’re walking out to his car,” Laidlaw said, “and I think he might have had a bit of a script in his head. [Darrah] said, ‘All right, I don’t actually know how to approach this, so I’m just going to say it. On a scale of one to apocalyptic... how upset would you be if I said [the player] could be, I dunno, a Qunari Inquisitor?’”

Laidlaw was baffled. They’d decided that the player could be only a human in DAI. Adding other playable races like Darrah was asking for would mean they’d need to quadruple their budget for animation, voice acting, and scripting.

“I went, ‘I think we could make that work’,” Laidlaw said, asking Darrah if he could have more budget for dialogue.

Darrah answered that if Laidlaw could make playable races happen, he couldn’t just have more dialogue. He could have an entire year of production.

Laidlaw was thrilled. “Fuck yeah, OK,” he recalled saying.

MD had actually already realized at this point it’d be impossible to finish DAI in 2013. They needed at least a year’s delay and adding the other playable races was part of a plan/planned pitch to secure this. He was in the process of putting together a pitch to EA: let BW delay the game, and in exchange it’d be bigger and better that anyone at EA had envisioned. These new marketing points included playable races, mounts and a new tactical camera. If EA wouldn’t let them delay, they would have had to cut things. Going into that BW were confident but nervous, especially in the wake of EA’s recent turmoil where they’d just parted ways with their CEO and had recruited a new board member while they hunted for a new one. They didn’t know how the new board member would react, and the delay would affect EA’s projections for that fiscal year. Maybe it was the convincing pitch, or the exec turmoil, or the specter of DA2, or maybe EA didn’t like being called “The Worst Company in America”. Winning that award 2 years in a row had had a tangible impact on the execs and led to feisty internal meetings on how to repair EA’s image. Whatever the reasons, EA greenlit the delay.

The PAX Crestwood demo was beautiful but almost entirely fake. By fall 2013, BW had implemented many of FB’s ‘parts’, but still didn’t know what kind of ‘car’ they were making. ML and team scripted the PAX demo by hand, entirely based on what BW thought would be in the game. The level & art assets were real but the gameplay wasn’t. “Part of what we had to do is go out early and try to be transparent because of DA2. And just say, ‘Look, here, it’s the game, it’s running live, it’s at PAX.’ Because we wanted to make that statement that we’re here for fans.”

DA2 hung on the team like a shadow. There was insecurity, uncertainty, they had trouble sticking to one vision. Which DA2 things were due to the short dev time and which were bad calls? What stuff should they reinvent? There were debates over combat (DAO-style vs DA2-style) and arguments over how to populate the wilderness.

In the months after that demo, BW cut much of what they’d shown in it. Even small features went through many permutations. DAI had no proper preproduction phase (important for testing and discarding things), so leads were stretched thin and had to make impulsive decisions.

By the end of 2013, DAI had 200+ people working on it, and dozens of additional outsourced artists in Russia and China. Coordinating all the work across various departments was challenging and a full-time job for several people. At this sheer scale of game dev, there are many complexities and inter-dependencies. Work finally became significantly less tedious and more doable when BW and DICE added more features to FB. Time was running out though, and another delay was a no.

The team spent many hours in November and December piecing together a “narrative playable” version of the game to be the holiday period’s game build for BW staff to test that year. Feedback on the demo was bad. There were big complaints on story, that it didn’t make sense and was illogical. Originally the PC became Inquisitor and sealed the breach in the prologue, which removed a sense of urgency. In response the writers embarked on Operation Sledgehammer (breaking a bone to set it right), radically revising the entire first act.

The other big piece of negative feedback was that battles weren’t fun. Daniel Kading, who had recently joined BW and brought with him a rigorous new method for testing combat in games, went to BW leadership with a proposal: give him authority to open his own little lab with the other designers and call up the entire team for mandatory play sessions for test purposes. They agreed and he used this experiment to get test feedback and specifically pinpoint where problems were. Morale took a turn for the better that week, DK’s team made several tweaks, and through these sessions feedback ratings went from 1.2 to 8.8 four weeks later.

Many on the team wished they didn’t have to ship for old consoles (clunky, less powerful). BW leadership decided not to add features to the next-gen versions that wouldn’t be possible on the older ones, so that both versions of the game played the same. This limited things and meant the team had to find creative solutions. “I probably should’ve tried harder to kill [the last-gen] version of the game”, said Aaryn Flynn. In the end the next-gen consoles sold very well and only 10% of DAI sales were on last-gen.

“A lot of what we do is well-intentioned fakery,” said Patrick Weekes, pointing to a late quest called “Here Lies The Abyss”. “When you assault the fortress, you have a big cut scene that has a lot of Inquisition soldiers and a lot of Grey Wardens on the walls. And then anyone paying attention or looking for it as you’re fighting through the fortress will go, ‘Wow, I’m only actually fighting three to four guys at a time.’ Because in order for that to work [on old gen], you couldn’t have too many different character types on screen.”

Parts of DAI were still way behind schedule because it was so big and complex, and because some tools hadn’t started functioning until late on. Some basic features weren’t able to be implemented til the last minute (they were 8 months from ship before they could get all party members in the squad. At one point PW was playtesting to check if Iron Bull’s banter was firing, and realized there was no way to even recruit IB) and some flaws couldn’t be identified til the last few months. Trying to determine flow and pacing was rough.

They couldn’t disappoint fans again. They needed to take the time to revise and polish every aspect of DAI. “I think DAI is a direct response to DA2,” said Cameron Lee. “DAI was bigger than it needed to be. It had everything but the kitchen sink in it, to the point that we went too far... I think that having to deal with DA2 and the negative feedback we got on some parts of that was driving the team to want to put everything in and try to address every little problem or perceived problem.”

At this point they had 2 options: settle for an incomplete game, which would disappoint fans especially post-DA2, or crunch. They opted to crunch. It was the worst period of extended overtime in DAI’s development yet and was really rough: late nights, weekends, lost family time, 12-14 hour days, stress, mental health impacts.

During 2014′s crunch, they finally finished off features they wished they’d nailed down in year 1. They completed the Power (influence) system and added side quests, hidden treasures and puzzles. Things that weren’t working like destructible environments were promptly removed. The writers rewrote the prologue at least 6 times, but didn’t have enough time to pay such attention to the ending. Just a few months before launch pivotal features like jumping were added.

By summer BW had bumped back release by another 6 weeks for polish. DAI had about 99,000 bugs in it (qualitative and quantitative; things like “I was bored here” are a bug). “The number of bugs on an open-world game, I’ve never seen anything like it. But they’re all so easy to fix, so keep filing these bugs and we’ll keep fixing them.” For BW it was harder to discover them, and the QA team had to do creative experimentation and spend endless late nights testing things. PW would take builds home to let their 9 year old son play around. Their son was obsessed with mounting and dismounting the horse and accidentally discovered a bug where if you dismounted in the wrong place, all your companions’ gear would vanish. “It was because my son liked the horse so much more than anyone else ever had or will ever like the horse.”

MD had a knack for prioritizing which bugs should be fixed, like the one where you could get to inaccessible areas by jumping on Varric’s head. “Muscle memory is incredibly influential at this point. Through the hellfire which is game development, we’re forged into a unit, in that we know what everyone’s thinking and we understand everyone’s expectations.”

At launch they still didn’t have all their tools working, they only had their tools working enough.

DAI became the best-selling DA game, beating EA’s sales expectations in just a few weeks. If you look closely you can see the lingering remnants of its chaotic development, like the “garbage quests” in the Hinterlands. Some players didn’t realize they could leave the area and others got caught in a “weird, compulsive gratification loop”. Internet commentators rushed to blame “those damn lazy devs” but really, these were the natural consequences of DAI’s struggles. Maybe things would have been different if they’d miraculously received another year of dev time, or if they’d had years before starting development to build FB’s tools first.

“The challenge of the Hinterlands and what it represented to the opening 10 hours of DAI is exactly the struggle of learning to build open-world gameplay and mechanisms when you are a linear narrative story studio,” said Aaryn Flynn.

“DA2 was the product of a remarkable time-line challenge,” said Mike Laidlaw, “DAI was the product of a remarkable technical challenge. But it had enough time to cook, and as a result it was a much better game.”

Read the chapter for full details of course!

#dragon age #bioware #video games #SW:TOR #mass effect #I've seen plenty of this info discussed in articles/thinkpieces and on online communities over the years #but it's nice to read it first hand #some very insightful stuff here #these behind the scenes looks are very valuble #a lot of DAI's elements make sense given the context and what was going on in the background and the tech challenges they faced etc #be kind and respectful to devs folks they're human beings #also in general this book is really interesting and easy to read #funny in places too #it has lots of other chapters on lots of other games including Stardew Valley #I def recc buying it #anyway hope this post is useful/interesting to someone!#oh and as always support good treatment of game devs #crunch culture in the industry is harmful and exploitative

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addierose444 · 3 years

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Spring 2021: One Month Update

We are now just over a month into the spring semester. This is a bit strange as mid-march normally coincides with spring break. Well, normal just isn’t the norm right now and hasn’t been for a while. Like seriously, it has been a whole year since Smith sent us home last spring. Here is a blog post from a year ago about my final week on campus. That was a stressful time, but I was also so naïve about what was to come. In some ways, it’s hard to believe that a whole year has passed; at the same time, it has felt like an eternity. This post is primarily about my current courses and other life updates, but it also felt incomplete without acknowledging the passage of time. Last semester, I wrote a few update posts. I started them because I literally didn’t know what else to write about. However, I found them to be an effective post style that is worthwhile to continue using.

There does finally seem to be a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Namely, I have received my first dose of the Moderna COVID vaccine! I was eligible thanks to my job in ResLife. I will be getting the second dose in two-weeks time. I feel very fortunate to be getting vaccinated so early. I’ll also be honest in saying that it was really stressful taking the bus to UMass and navigating through the vaccination center. Another exciting update is that I have secured a summer internship at Microsoft! You can read about my application process here.

I am currently living on-campus in Parsons House. We are fortunately still operating in Green Mode which is our least restrictive operating mode. This still includes masks, social distancing, and testing three times a week. We are also still ordering most meals on the Grubhub app. However, there is now some limited seating in the dining halls and we have transitioned to using some reusable food containers. Furthermore, Chuckett (our name for Chase and Duckett) is open for true grab and go. The best part about going to Chuckett is that they have yogurt, ice cream, and snacks. Classes and house events continue to be primarily over Zoom so that we can practice social distancing and include those not living on campus.

As for my classes, it’s been a very busy semester. I am in class less than in past semesters but have had more work outside of class. With that said, this is in part because one of my classes is asynchronous with synchronous labs. To check out all of my past courses, click here.

PHY 210 has been more interesting than I expected. It’s not an easy class, but it hasn’t been the nightmare I was worried it would be. The class has so-called pre-class check-ins (PCCIs) which are short exercises due at the start of each class (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday). We still have a full homework set due each Wednesday, but I enjoy having the PCCIs as it’s more similar to the high school homework model (short more frequent assignments that don’t have to be 100% perfect). I now have a much better understanding of complex numbers and why they are useful. Other topics we have studied thus far include differential equations and the Taylor series (both topics were briefly introduced in past calculus classes). We have also been learning the basics of Mathematica and are currently studying integrals in two or more dimensions. Last semester in MTH 212, all of the exams could be taken over multiple days (unlimited time) so it’s not the easiest transition back to timed math exams.

PHI 220 is a great complement to my four STEM classes. Specifically, it’s reading and discussion-based and doesn’t have problem sets! While there is absolutely value in courses unrelated to my majors, I really love learning concepts that come up in computer science but from a different perspective. Over the course of the semester, we have been working our way through Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid. We have been learning about formal systems and been gaining an understanding of Gödel's incompleteness theorems. Later in the course, we will be delving into the study of Turing machines. Each class starts with five minutes of breathing and stretching. The first day I thought it was really weird, but have now gained an appreciation for it.

EGR 220 has been my most time-consuming class, but I have also really enjoyed the course content. I am glad that I took PHY 118 last spring as it gave me a good primer for some of the circuit theories. This is particularly useful as circuits is a fast-paced course. Labs have been frustrating at times due to technical difficulties, but having a hands-on component definitely helps my understanding and makes things more engaging. As long as we stay in Green Mode, we will have a few small-group in-person labs! We have also had and will continue to have occasional full class in-person outdoor demonstrations. (All of my other classes have been and will continue to be fully remote). In terms of course content, we have learned about passive components like resistors, capacitors, and inductors and circuit analysis techniques like nodal analysis and mesh analysis.

CSC 250 has generally been enjoyable as I have an awesome professor. I don’t dislike the course material, but I definitely prefer programming and systems to theory. Also, theoretical computer science requires writing lots of proofs which is not my favorite. I am glad that I took discrete math (MTH 153) last semester as it introduced me to proof writing. MTH 153 an unenforced prerequisite of CSC 250, which I was originally going to take concurrently due to schedule conflicts. In the course, we have been learning about regular expressions, finite automata, context-free grammars, push-down automata, and most recently Turing machines. (See what I mean about the overlap with PHI 220!)

COMPSCI 230 is my UMass computer systems class. You can read more about Five College registration here. The course is asynchronous which has its advantages and disadvantages. It’s nice being able to self-schedule my coursework, but it’s strange not really interacting with my classmates. As the UMass semester started two weeks before Smith’s, I am just about halfway through the course which is honestly sort of crazy. In the course, we have learned about data representation, von Neumann Architecture, caches, and virtual memory.

I am not taking guitar this semester and unfortunately have hardly played my guitar. Last year I had set a daily practice goal that I did a really good job of sticking to. That said, I regret having set that goal as it made playing feel more like a chore. The issue is that when the year ended I was justified in taking a few days off from playing. However, as I was really busying during Interterm it was just too easy to dive into my coursework and other responsibilities. Playing guitar is something that I love, so I am trying to incorporate it back into my life in the right way. You can read about my musical history here. Another music update, that’s really just for me to look back on is that my current favorite song is The Story (written by Phil Hanseroth and performed by Brandi Carlile). I have been listening to a lot of Brandi Carlile’s music over the past few days and absolutely love it. As for 2020 goals, like many people, mine weren’t the biggest success. I originally set out to write four original songs but only wrote two (one of which I had started in August of 2019). I was successful in my reading goal so that was at least one win. You can read about my 2020 in books here.

#college #Smith College #spring 2021 #academics #engineering #computer science #music

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ohnobjyx · 4 years

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Plum blossoms in the snow (I)

Part 4: April and May (I)

We have gotten to the mid point of the story.

Disclaimer: I try to keep things objective (if I include my personal opinion, it’s in cursive and in brackets), but I’m biased because of the XZ friendly content I’m usually exposed to and by my own views of their situation. Open to discussion, but please make sure you’ve enough information to do so.

In March, slowly but surely, the incident was put behind. After the anger comes the aceptance, so to say. With so many people’s inputs, his fans started to let the topic cool down, while giving him their support.

So everything was coming back to their place and seemed a lot calmer than a month before. This didn’t sit well with some people.

Antis’ attacks

The antis were quite active, trying to spark a conflict one after another, because the topic had been silent for a little bit. Remember: more interactions, more followers, more money so ignore the antis always (unless they attack you, if so, report them).

To name a few:

On early April, they placed so many negative reviews on CQL in Douban that the score fell from 7′9 to 7′3. However, people didn’t react as they wanted them to, and instead the score rose steadily back to 7′7 (as of now).

When a brand of a product that XZ endorses admitted to economic fraud, antis attacked the brand, the product and XZ. Their argument was that because XZ is so popular, more people bought the product he endorses, thus contributing to the fraud. Some fans fell for it, protesting that what the brand does had nothing to do with XZ.

Some of the antis pretended to be XZ’s fans, and with that “disguise”, attacked other netizens, prompting a statement from XZ’s fans support group. In the statement, they reject this kind of behaviour and insist that everyone should be careful with what they say and how they act.

All of this, along with spreading rumors, was trying to revive the discussion and the fan war to get more attention and followers (people have a short span of attention, especially on the internet), and profit from it.

Around mid April, both w/ibo and bil/bili blocked antis’ accounts, making antis say that XZ’s company must have paid them to do so.

Endorsements

It was positive though that in April he started to appear again in commercials and banners.

(The one on the left is a commercial from February, I couldn’t find another one with a better resolution from April. By the way, from an interview done before New Year’s Eve for that brand, we get these two little moments: 1 and 2).

You may have noticed that the endorsement for the drink it’s a joined endorsement with another celebrity. Antis tried to pit the two group of fans against one another, but fans didn’t fell for it (the learning process was hard and long, but it was showing results).

Remember the one from the right. That’s a funny one, later in July.

Plum blossoms and stars

In April, XZ reappeared again in w/ibo with that drawing of plum blossoms from his Oasis account (on 200410). Previously, he had shared a post for the National Mourning Day for the people who’ve died because of the COVID-19, and before that, it was a post from February 22, before 2/27.

There are 4 main flowers in Chinese culture (one for each season), and each has a widely known meaning attached to them.

Plum blossoms are one them, and often represent resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity, because it’s a flower that blooms a brilliant red in the middle of winter and snow. It can also be a harbinger of spring.

So his first message after all of this mess to be one of perseverance and hope。 I personally find it very meaningful as to what his attitude towards the entertainment industry is.

This also calmed a lot of his fans, who had been worried of him succumbing to the antis and retiring from the industry. There had been a lot of rumours saying the he had got depression from all of this conflict, and this update effectively silenced those.

A few days later he sang a cover of the song “The hymn of the red plum blossom” for an online event “Beautiful China”. It’s a classical opera song from a film, very patriotic and well-chosen for such an event, but it could also represent his situation with the “coming of spring”. Musicians later analysed this song and deemed it too difficult for him to sing (he doesn’t have enough range for this kind of songs), but praised him for his spirit to try new, difficult things, and to bring classic songs to young people: “he’s like the plum blossom in winter: persistent against difficulties”.

XZ updated his Oasis again late in April, with a drawing inspired by posters from his university days: “hope”, “perseverance”, “acquisition”.

(This is the picture he updated on 200420, and below is a screeshot from the post in which he explains that those are drawings from his university days).

Reporting to the police

On 21st of April, XZ’s Studio issued a statement.

3 accounts (among others) had used XZ’s photos and videos to slander his name, so the studio had collected the evidence and had turned it all to the police. The accounts had been spreading rumours about him for months (about him dating other guys, plastic surgery) and insulting him for his acting skills and lack of respect towards women.

What we find most surprising is that, even in the face of a lawsuit, the antis didn’t relent and kept on trying to “black” (slander) him.

Those 3 accounts were, in their own words, chased and insulted by XZ’s fans, so they wanted to report XZ’s studio in return, for damaging their reputation.

(I don’t know exactly how this ended. I think the lawsuit is still going on, since these things take time, but the general outcome of this seems good for him. Most of the comments I’ve seen goes like “xz was just waiting for the right moment to act”, “staying silent and apologizing while collecting proof of a crime”.)

“Light Spot”

On April 25, XZ released a new song, and remarked that he thanks all well-meaning criticism and guidance, and that he’ll continue to grow from here. The song is Light Spot. There was again some drama related to this song, antis never take a rest it seems.

XZ’s apology

That week, XZ posted on w/ibo, apologizing for the troubles caused and asking people not to hurt others.

The source of the problem this time were rumours of him participating in HJ’s variety show (HJ is the host from Happy Camp with curly hair). Rumours said that he had invited XZ to participate in his new variety show on his own initiative. Haters attacked him for this, in order to prevent XZ from going to the program (remember that some of the antis’ objective is to make XZ retire from entertainment industry).

The TV station had to release a statement saying that XZ won’t participate in HJ’s show. XZ must have seen all the commotion and posted his comment asking people not to hurt HJ because of him.

Tracking down the antis

The leader of all of this commotion with HJ was a w/ibo user (let’s call her “B”) that had been a XZ hater for a long while, and her account was banned soon after this. Along with hers, many others hater accounts were blocked by w/ibo, prompted by XZ’s studio, according to other antis.

Though their accounts were blocked, B tried to come back (and even with the same username), and attacked XZ again for making “false donations” to Wuhan, and accusing him of being immoral. XZ’s Studio finally posted definite proof that their donation had been real.

B accused him of being a racist and having “abnormal sexual orientation”. She also managed to make her accusations a hot topic on w/ibo quite frequently.

This hater, with others, surprised many people in their tenacity and persistence to defame XZ. People analysed her behaviour and tendencies and extracted conclusions like these about this kind of “professional” antis:

She knows how the entertainment industry works, so she works in it or has sources inside the industry.

She knows what kind of topic will attract attention from other users.

She has good resources and is very intelligent and manipulative at the same time, so she is capable of making two groups unite against a third, for example.

She’s likely to cooperate with XZ’ competitors to spread rumors about him, to allow his competitors to get more endorsements. She incites haters and antis to boycott XZ endorsements in order to do this.

(I was asked previously if YH couldn’t have participated too in the smear campaign, to gain more endorsements for WYB. At the time, I’d been very sure that these kind of things are too much of a hassle, but now I’m not so sure that no one would do this. I mean, I don’t think YH would do this for WYB, since he is very popular and successful on his own, but for other YH’s employees or other companies for their idols... I’m not so sure anymore. But this is all especulation from me).

She often has material that a “normal” fan can’t get access to. Among the fans, there are some that are called fan representatives. They can often access the companies and agencies, so they have more information and images about a star than any other. Of course, they can’t spread it if they stop being their fan, but that doesn’t stop B from buying pictures from them.

There are also “spies” inside the fandom, who get information about a fandom from the inside.

So, in short, a great part of the general public likes the rumours and the stories she makes up, it doesn’t matter if they are true or not, and that gives her more followers.

Before XZ, she attacked the male leads from The Guardian (ZYL and BY), and used the same tactic.

(Which confirms our theory that this storm will pass for XZ, most likely because she moves on to attacking another person, but that’s a whole other story).

So at the end of April, w/ibo started to ban all the accounts that spread malicious and hate content, the numerous accounts of B among them, even though all of them had been ticked by w/ibo before (like the blue tick in twitter).

Even after being reported to the police, the account doesn’t seem to stop, making people suspect that there is money behind of this and that it’s not an account managed by one person, but rather a team. They’ll do the same to whoever is popular at the moment, so it’s not even personal, it doesn’t matter who it is, XZ, ZYL, BY, whoever.

(I don’t like conspiracy theories... if there’s no data to back them up, it all remains speculation, and it spreads more information that no one knows it’s true or not. However, this whole thing with the antis is very strange. I suppose will see what happens once XZ comes back to limelight).

Haters are also something every idol has to face.

The haters dig into an idol’s past, and make up rumours based on that. For example, XZ had a gf while he was studyinghis degree, but they broke up. Haters then said that it was because of this that he went to South Korea and got plastic surgery (false, some people do have this kind of amazing genes), and that’s why he’s so good looking. Since lies are mixed in truth, some people, especially those who just know his name, or that he’s an actor, have trouble picking it apart.

Rumours also place idols in a tight position. If they don’t answer, people will think the rumours are true. But if they sue them, haters aren’t afraid either, because the process is long, and in this process they are still getting views and new followers. It may also shift the attention to them, which is exactly what they want.

All in all, the world is complex, but even in the middle of snow you may find a little plum blossom.

←Part 3: Why does it snow? | Part 4 (II): Plums blossoms in the snow (II)→

#gg's situation series #I should have planned 8 parts instead of 7 #in my defense #I thought May would be shorter #part 4 of 7 (I)#my posts

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strongsong117 · 4 years

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WIP Whenever

I've been tagged by @johaeryslavellan yesterday! Thank you for tagging me (it's my very first tag in a post hoho) and your works are delightful!

Also, I decided to do this because I'm stuck in this fic and don't know how to proceed. I kinda need some help bc whenever I wrote made-up² stuff I felt guilty and wouldn't be able to finish the piece (it would just sit in a folder full of unfinished fics).

It's kind of a back story of my male Trevelyan and his quest for self-discovery (I think??) in the face of conflicting thoughts and feelings who would later meet a charming and charismatic Tevinter mage.

He remembers the first time someone ever confessed to him. It was a daughter of another notable house back in Ostwick, a person he considered a close friend. They've been friends for a good long while, back when Michael was around seven years old until he was nine. He was surprised when she walked towards him—beet red, blushing and stumbling over her words. And, contrary to what he knew was supposed to be his reaction, he was repulsed. Not by the fact that she liked him, but by that fact that she liked him. And it didn’t help that it made no sense, even to him. He thought that it was merely the reaction of a child who had absolutely no idea of what admiring another entails. But he was, once again, proven wrong.

Years later and he was what people would call an "eligible bachelor". He'd attended many of his aunt's parties, mostly out of necessity rather than preference, and there were numerous instances where he would be introduced to fine, unwed ladies. And he despised it. Later, in his twenties, he would start walking out of obviously orchestrated introductions with no guilt or remorse, but instead a satisfied smirk when he heard their offended gasps. Then, he would go to the estate's more hidden balconies and drown himself with thoughts and wine.

His gaze would wander around the crowd—constantly landing on some notable appearances and undeniably attractive faces—and he wondered: Was it simply preference? Did he not like the idea of being with women because that was simply not what he wanted? Did he prefer the companionship of his fellow men?

And so, with these questions swimming in his mind, he approached a familiar face that he knew was following his movements that night with more interest than others. Markus was the man's name, he remembered, and if memory served, he was a few years older. Michael chatted him up, invited him to that isolated balcony to try and get to know him. It was faster than he had anticipated. Markus had told him how he followed Michael's achievements through the years, how he had such an attractive face and how it was possible for him not to be married yet. Michael tried to brush the question off by reminding the man that he was still young—just a few years from his teens. He went back to the "attractive" part, hoping that the situation would escalate. And it did. Leaning against the balustrade with a man kneeling between his legs as he was pleasured—if it could even be called that, because he immediately pushed the man away, fixed and fastened his trousers, and ran to the farthest place he could to hide until the party ended.

Perhaps not, then.

Around 9:35, he had the opportunity to volunteer for a research expedition to the forests of Ferelden. They recruited him for his skills with the bow, and he took advantage of it to gain additional knowledge about historical and crucial events. Michael had always been interested to the point of obsession when it came to the history of Thedas and the different cultures of its inhabitants, so having the chance to see ancient Tevinter ruins and the remnants of elvhen structures up close was a wonderful bonus of his lending of his skills.

They had been in the expedition for a good 6 months—from Kingsway to Drakonis—and Michael was able to form new friendships with the people he travelled with. Immanuel, the circle mage that he befriended more than others, was their Tevene specialist, focusing more on their language.

Their friendship started when they were flanked by a pack of wolves while the two of them were sent out to search the area for nearby ruins. They worked well together, surprisingly. After that, Michael was the person whom Immanuel discussed his preliminary findings with and he listened to Immanuel's theories while adding his insights that amazingly helped the mage to form more concrete conclusions. During their free time, they talked about their childhoods and pasts, learning something new about the other each day. He admired Immanuel’s intellect and wit, and he was undeniably charming too.

Michael also loved the way Immanuel's eyes sparkled with passion as he speculated about all the possibilities—though Michael would admit he knew less than half of what he was talking about. It was as if his eyes reflected the starry sky itself, and Michael thought he could watch the man all day if that was the scene presented to him.

And it is inevitable to develop certain feelings whenever you’re constantly in the presence of a person who also liked your company. That was something Michael still knew he was capable of—attraction—even after all those unfortunate(?) incidents in his past. Maybe if he was the one who initiated things, it would feel less… wrong? Was that how it worked?

So, Michael waited for a chance—the perfect opportunity to bring up his feelings towards Immanuel, and to at least clear the air if it doesn’t turn out how Michael wanted it to. He waited for a whole week, but whenever he saw a window of opportunity to say it, it was as if he intentionally avoided bringing it up. There was even an instance where they were so close together—Immanuel needed something removed from his neck, only possible by wiping it off with something damp which they didn't have at that time—that Michael knew they both felt some sort of tension in the air that urged him to act on the blind instruction of desire.

Michael ignored the want to lap on Immanuel's neck with his tongue, and ignored the feeling that Immanuel might've thought of it too, and wanted. After that, his feelings were buried deep inside him until it dissipated and disappeared into the waves of the Waking Sea as they traveled back to the Free Marches.

After that expedition, he tried to write to Immanuel in the Ostwick Circle to check on his well-being and ask for an update on their research. He received a response once, but with an endnote that practically said “We’ll be busy so I can’t be bothered anymore,” and a dismissive thanks.

Well, that’s done, then.

After that, Michael never bothered with matters of the heart and focused on his training, instead. Training for what, he was never certain, but he liked being fast and sharp with bows and daggers. Thankfully, he was the youngest among the four sons of House Trevelyan, and he was never pressured concerning marriage. His parents already had multiple grandchildren, anyway. However, he was sure that his parents would discuss such matters with him in the long run. Something that inspired dread in him—even just the thought of it.

Aaand that's a bit long, innit? It's where I'm stuck now, for over 10 days 🙃 I'm pretty sure I was planning to lead this to the events of DAI bc Dorian but not sure how to proceed.

Anyways, I am tagging y'all amazing people @fancytrinkets, @ineffablewitch, @the-gay-wardens, @noire-pandora, @datrashbitch, @tessa1972, @trashwarden

It's completely up to you whether you want to do this as well, but I also wanted to hear your thoughts about the WIP! Does it have grammatical errors? Is it boring? Any constructive criticisms so far? Bc I definitely need feedback since I've only been writing for a short while and English ain't my first language.

#dragon age inquisition #male trevelyan #WIP #Halp #Will become Pavelyan #It's also my first time tagging people lol #Hullo!#I hope y'all don't mind :3 #For years I've been a hermit and don't know how the world works jk #I want to upload something in my AO3 bc it's been a while ��#Whoo this is kinda scary *nervous laugh*#Uhh how to put breaks in mobile 😐#Sorry for a lengthy post

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newstfionline · 3 years

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Sunday, August 29, 2021

Louisiana braces for ‘life-altering’ Hurricane Ida (AP) Residents across Louisiana’s coast Saturday were taking one last day to prepare for what is being described as a “life-altering” Hurricane Ida which is expected to bring winds as high as 140 mph (225 kph) when it slams ashore. A combination of voluntary and mandatory evacuations have been called for cities and communities across the region including New Orleans, where the mayor ordered a mandatory evacuation for areas outside the city’s levee system and a voluntary evacuation for residents inside the levee system. The storm is expected to make landfall on the exact date Hurricane Katrina devastated a large swath of the Gulf Coast 16 years earlier. But whereas Katrina was a Category 3 when it made landfall southwest of New Orleans, Ida is expected to reach an extremely dangerous Category 4 hurricane, with top winds of 140 mph (225 kph) before making landfall likely west of New Orleans late Sunday. “This will be a life-altering storm for those who aren’t prepared,” National Weather Service meteorologist Benjamin Schott said during a Friday news conference with Louisiana Gov. John Bel Edwards.

White House More Than Doubles Its Inflation Forecast in New Update (WSJ) The White House more than doubled its forecast for annual inflation in new projections released Friday, as supply-chain disruptions stemming from the Covid-19 pandemic continue to put upward pressure on prices. The Office of Management and Budget said it expected consumer prices would rise 4.8% in the fourth quarter from a year earlier, up sharply from the 2% rise that the Biden administration forecast in May. Officials see those price pressures quickly abating next year, with the consumer-price index rising 2.5% in the fourth quarter of 2022, more than the 2.1% they expected in May, and reaching 2.3% in 2023.

Hurricane Nora on track to skirt along Mexico’s coast (AP) Hurricane Nora formed Saturday in the eastern Pacific on a forecast track that would bring it near the Puerto Vallarta area and then head toward a close encounter with resorts at the tip of Baja California Peninsula. Nora had maximum sustained winds of 80 mph (130 kph) Saturday morning, with tropical storm force winds extending out 175 miles (280 kilometers) from the center in some places. The storm’s large wind field and heavy rains mean much of Mexico’s central and northern Pacific Coast could see floods, mudslides and perilous surf even if it misses the very heart of the hurricane.

Brazil water survey heightens alarm over extreme drought (AP) The Brazilian scientists were skeptical. They ran different models to check calculations, but all returned the same startling result. The country with the most freshwater resources on the planet steadily lost 15% of its surface water since 1991. Gradual retreat in the Brazilian share of the Pantanal, the world’s largest tropical wetland, left water covering just one-quarter the area it did 30 years ago. And the data only went through 2020—before this year’s drought that is Brazil’s worst in nine decades. The ongoing drought has already boosted energy costs and food prices, withered crops, rendered vast swaths of forest more susceptible to wildfire and prompted specialists to warn of possible electricity shortages. President Jair Bolsonaro on Thursday said hydroelectric dam reservoirs are “at the limit of the limit.” Brazil’s energy minister Bento Albuquerque on Aug. 25 called a press conference to deny the possibility of rationing, while at the same time calling on companies and people to reduce power consumption.

UN team: Unclear if Fukushima cleanup can finish by 2051 (AP) Too little is known about melted fuel inside damaged reactors at the wrecked Fukushima nuclear power plant, even a decade after the disaster, to be able to tell if its decommissioning can be finished by 2051 as planned, a U.N. nuclear agency official said Friday. “Honestly speaking, I don’t know, and I don’t know if anybody knows,” said Christophe Xerri, head of an International Atomic Energy Agency team reviewing progress in the plant’s cleanup. A massive earthquake and a tsunami in March 2011 destroyed cooling systems at the Fukushima plant in northeastern Japan, triggering meltdowns in three reactors in the worst nuclear disaster since the 1986 Chernobyl accident. Japanese government and utility officials say they hope to finish its decommissioning within 30 years, though some experts say that’s overly optimistic, even if a full decommissioning is possible at all.

As China-Taiwan Tensions Rise, Japan Begins Preparing for Possible Conflict (WSJ) China’s growing assertiveness toward Taiwan has triggered a public push by Japanese leaders to plan for a possible conflict. Tokyo officials, normally wary of upsetting Beijing, are speaking openly about preparing for a crisis and supporting Taiwan, a self-ruled island claimed by China, despite Japan’s pacifist constitution. Deputy Prime Minister Taro Aso said recently in a speech to supporters that Japan and the U.S. should plan together to defend the island in the event of hostilities. In its annual regional security review, Japan said there a “greater sense of crisis than ever before” regarding Taiwan, after China stepped up maneuvers by its ships and aircraft nearby. Major Japanese military drills starting in September are expected to further help Tokyo prepare for any trouble in areas including Taiwan, current and former Japanese officials say.

American forces keep up airlift under high threat warnings (AP) American forces working under heightened security and threats of another attack pressed ahead in the closing days of the U.S.-led evacuation from Afghanistan after a devastating suicide bombing, and U.S. officials said they had killed two members of the extremist group that the United States believes responsible for it. Thursday’s bombing marked one of the most lethal attacks the country has seen. The U.S. said it was the deadliest day for American forces in Afghanistan since 2011. Around the world, newly arriving Afghan evacuees, many clutching babies and bare handfuls of belongings in plastic bags, stepped off evacuation flights in the United States, in Albania, in Belgium and beyond. More than 110,000 people have been safely evacuated through the Kabul airport, according to the U.S., but thousands more are struggling to leave.

U.S. military begins withdrawal from Kabul airport (Reuters) U.S. troops have begun their withdrawal from Kabul airport, the Pentagon said on Saturday, as the evacuation efforts from the Afghan capital entered their final stages. President Joe Biden sent thousands of troops to the airport as the Taliban swept through Afghanistan earlier this month to help evacuate American citizens, at-risk Afghans and other foreigners desperate to flee. At the peak of the deployment there were 5,800 U.S. troops securing Hamid Karzai International Airport, where an unprecedented airlift operation is set to end by Tuesday.

From garbage to garden, Nairobi resident helps slum bloom (Reuters) A decade ago, a patch of land in Nairobi’s Dandora district was a dumping ground for the trash of the city’s wealthier residents with scarcely a plant to be seen. Now, children play on the grass and locals relax among avocado trees as birds sing in the branches above. The lush community garden has even become the backdrop for rappers and other creatives to shoot their videos. This transformation is thanks to Charles Gachanga, 45, who grew up in the neighbourhood back when it reeked of garbage. “We came and cleaned ... We did not even have a penny,” said Gachanga, who started working in 2013 on the garden space, called Mustard Seed, with three friends. “We just had that focus, we had that passion to see how we could transform our neighbourhood.” Their project has inspired a network of similar community-built green spaces, 20 alone in Dandora, he said. Maintenance costs are covered by community contributions. Residents living near Gachanga’s green space pay 100 shillings a month, less than $1, for maintenance. People without the funds often volunteer, planting trees or cleaning, Gachanga said.

15 more students freed in Nigeria after release of 90 others (AP) Overjoyed parents awaited the return of 90 young schoolchildren who had spent three months held by gunmen as authorities elsewhere in northern Nigeria announced a second group of 15 students also had been released. The news was celebrated across Nigeria, where more than 1,000 students have been kidnapped from schools since December. The abductions have stepped up pressure on the Nigerian government to do more to secure educational facilities in remote areas.

How water shortages are brewing wars (BBC Future) As much as a quarter of the world's population now faces severe water scarcity at least one month out of the year and it is leading many to seek a more secure life in other countries. "If there is no water, people will start to move," says Kitty van der Heijden, chief of international cooperation at the Netherlands' foreign ministry and an expert in hydropolitics. Water scarcity affects roughly 40% of the world's population and, according to predictions by the United Nations and the World Bank, drought could put up to 700 million people at risk of displacement by 2030. People like van der Heijden are concerned about what that could lead to. "If there is no water, politicians are going to try and get their hands on it and they might start to fight over it," she says. Over the course of the 20th Century, global water use grew at more than twice the rate of population increase. Today, this dissonance is leading many cities—from Rome to Cape Town, Chennai to Lima—to ration water. Water crises have been ranked in the top five of the World Economic Forum's Global Risks by Impact list nearly every year since 2012. In 2017, severe droughts contributed to the worst humanitarian crisis since World War Two, when 20 million people across Africa and the Middle East were forced to leave their homes due to the accompanying food shortages and conflicts that erupted. Peter Gleick, head of the Oakland-based Pacific Institute, has spent the last three decades studying the link between water scarcity, conflict and migration and believes that water conflict is on the rise. "With very rare exceptions, no one dies of literal thirst," he says. "But more and more people are dying from contaminated water or conflicts over access to water."

The year of COVID burnout (The Week) “September was supposed to mark the beginning of a new normal,” said Katherine Bindley at The Wall Street Journal. Instead, for many workers, the spread of the Delta variant is déjà vu all over again. Companies of all sizes are delaying plans to return to the office, and outbreaks have already forced some schools to shut down. It’s left many workers “in an anxiety-producing state of limbo.” As the pandemic drags on, more people are struggling with exhaustion, loss, and isolation, and “employees’ mental health is quickly becoming a top concern,” said Erica Pandey at Axios. In addition to seeing more employees quit, “a whopping 52 percent of U.S. employers say they are ‘experiencing significant workplace issues’ with substance misuse or addiction by employees,” according to a new survey. Forty-four percent of workers now say they feel fatigued on the job, up from 34 percent in 2020. Some companies are going to great lengths to boost worker morale, said Jenny Gross at The New York Times. LinkedIn, Bumble, and Intuit recently “introduced weeklong companywide shutdowns so employees can fully disconnect.” PricewaterhouseCoopers is even “offering workers $250 each time they take 40 consecutive hours off.” Recognizing that extended vacations might not benefit workers hesitant about travel, Adobe began giving the entire company a day off one Friday per month. Before the pandemic, “I had a solid division between my work and home life,” said Cody Barbo at Fast Company. “Now everything has sort of blended together.” My company has added a monthly flex day that employees can take off for their “mental health.” We’ve also added guest speakers, virtual happy hours, and stipends for work-from-home costs.

#headlines #news

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lgbtqiahistoricalromance · 4 years

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Finishing Out Summer 2020 TBR List! - Updated 7/31

Starting back in March, I was adding novel after novel for purposes of reading during social distancing and Summer 2020. I’m hoping you all found some great reads, even if you haven’t been able to read them all. *Here is another batch to round out Summer 2020, and I’m thrilled by the selection that includes sapphic, trans MCs, and more eras and locations than any list to date.

Leather and Lace by Rebel Carter (Good Sky series #5) - May 20th - sapphic

Mary Sophia James came to Gold Sky, Montana to find a husband at the insistence of her overbearing mother. Striking out in spectacular fashion after setting her eye on Julian Baptiste, her options are dwindling, and time is running out. She needs to find a man to marry before her condition becomes…obvious. Her mother’s prejudices and sharp tongue aren’t helping matters and Mary, to her shame, hasn’t behaved much better. But all her plans are derailed when she spots the most beautiful person she’s ever seen across the town square. Alex Pierce is strong, intriguing, looks stunning in a pair of trousers…and a woman.

Gold Sky is accepting of all types of love, and that between women is no different. Still, Alex didn’t expect to be so floored by the sight of the firey haired, yet fragile looking young woman. Mary needs to be married and Alex has a solution. Because in Gold Sky, Montana there are many ways to be married…and not all of them include a man.

Leather and Lace is a 35k word novella set at the same time as the events of book 2, Hearth and Home. It includes a passionate and romantic f/f love in a town where diversity, and love, reign supreme.

Note : Leather and Lace has a bit of mail-order, arranged married, kind of secret baby with some foreced proximity sprinkled on top!

The Sugared Game by KJ Charles (The Will Darling Adventures #2) - August 26th

It’s been two months since Will Darling saw Kim Secretan, and he doesn’t expect to see him again. What do a rough and ready soldier-turned-bookseller and a disgraced, shady aristocrat have to do with each other anyway? But when Will encounters a face from the past in a disreputable nightclub, Kim turns up, as shifty, unreliable, and irresistible as ever. And before Will knows it, he’s been dragged back into Kim’s shadowy world of secrets, criminal conspiracies, and underhand dealings. This time, though, things are underhanded even by Kim standards. This time, the danger is too close to home. And if Will and Kim can’t find common ground against unseen enemies, they risk losing everything.

The Revolutionary and the Rogue by Blake Ferre - August 24th

Perrin deVesey knows pain. As a member of Crimson Rose, a secret club for men who love men, he’s taken the vow “to stand and shield.” Standing together during these perilous times is the only thing keeping their necks from the guillotine. Now their leader is using the club to rescue wrongly accused traitors. After losing a past lover to an unjust execution, the decision to support this treasonous cause is easy…until a devastatingly handsome Committee Officer complicates Perrin’s whole world. Officer Henri Chevalier hates aristocrats. But the man he finds while investigating Crimson Rose is more than just wealthy and fancily clothed. He’s a rogue that could take him to the heart of the uprising and stop it before it starts. His plan to get close to Perrin and steal his secrets backfires, though, when Henri finds himself falling for the damned aristo and his dangerous smile. His heart is even more conflicted as he learns the truth behind their cause…and the truth his own people have been hiding. Together they must make the choice—to stand and shield at any cost—and their love might be the deadliest weapon in all of France.

Healing Lance by MD Grimm (A Warrior’s Redemption #1)- July 28th

A baby’s laughter. A mind uncaged. Lance is known as Scourge, the warrior in the black armor, the dog of the warlord Ulfr Blackwolf. He was just a boy when Ulfr found him and molded him into the perfect weapon. He slaughters and pillages on command, merciless and numb, devoid of emotions. Then a baby girl laughs at him during a raid. And everything changes. When Gust, a talented healer, is out deer hunting and stumbles across a magnificent horse bearing a mortally wounded rider, he has no idea that his life is about to change forever. Gust applies all his skills to his patient, determined to save the rider’s life, and is rewarded when the man opens his eyes. As friendship, and more, bloom between warrior and healer, so does the danger over the horizon. Ulfr has not forgotten, and Lance must take his first steps on the long road to redemption.

The rest of the series is either out this Summer or finishes in Sept!

Unhallowed: A Novel of Widdershins (Rath & Rune Book #1) by Jordan L Hawk - July 17th

Monsters. Murder. Librarians. Librarian Sebastian Rath is the only one who believes his friend Kelly O’Neil disappeared due to foul play. But without any clues or outside assistance, there’s nothing he can do to prove it. When bookbinder Vesper Rune is hired to fill the vacancy left by O’Neil, he receives an ominous letter warning him to leave. After he saves Sebastian from a pair of threatening men, the two decide to join forces and get to the truth about what happened to O’Neil. But Vesper is hiding secrets of his own, ones he doesn’t dare let anyone learn. Secrets that grow ever more dangerous as his desire for Sebastian deepens. Because Kelly O’Neil was murdered. And if Sebastian and Ves don’t act quickly enough, they’ll be the next to die.

My Heart’s in the Highlands by Amy Hoff - July 17th - sapphic - time travel

The year is 1888. Brilliant and beautiful, Lady Jane Crichton has fought the constraints of her Victorian Edinburgh upbringing to become one of the first women to attend university for medicine. Denied a degree because of her gender, she decides to marry a closeted gay man, providing him with political and social cover and herself with the time and money to pursue her scientific interests—one of which is a time machine. Jane’s machine works…but not exactly as she expected, and soon she has crash-landed in the 13th-century Scottish Highlands. There she is rescued by a wild, red-haired warrior woman, Ainslie nic Dòmhnaill, next in line to the chiefship of the great Clan Donald, the rulers of the Sea Kingdom of the Isles. Despite the constant threat of attacks from enemy clans, harsh winters and a touch of homesickness, Jane finds herself bewitched by this land, this time and this magnificent woman. The rough and warlike Ainslie also feels the magic and revels in a passion and love neither she nor Jane had ever imagined. But Jane is hiding a dangerous secret—one that threatens to tragically transform their Highland fairy tale.

Kinship and Kindness by Kara Jorgensen (A Paranormal Society Romance #1) - releases July 29th -trans MC

Bennett Reynard needs one thing: to speak to the Rougarou about starting a union for shifters in New York City before the delegation arrives. When his dirigible finally lands in Louisiana, he finds the Rougarou is gone and in his stead is his handsome son, Theo, who seems to care for everyone but himself. Hoping he can still petition the Rougarou, Bennett stays only to find he is growing dangerously close to Theo Bisclavret. Theo Bisclavret thought he had finally come to terms with never being able to take his father’s place as the Rougarou, but with his father stuck in England and a delegation of werewolves arriving in town, Theo’s quiet life is thrown into chaos as he and his sister take over his duties. Assuming his father’s place has salted old wounds, but when a stranger arrives offering to help, Theo knows he can’t say no, even if Mr. Reynard makes him long for things he had sworn off years ago. As rivals arrive to challenge Theo for power and destroy the life Bennett has built, they know they must face their greatest fears or risk losing all they have fought for. With secrets threatening to topple their worlds, can Theo and Bennett let down their walls before it’s too late?

More under the cut...!!!!

My Highland Laird: Sci-Regency Book #5 by JL Langley - releases August 10th

Bannon Thompson, talented artist and youngest son of the Duke of Eversleigh, is hastily shipped off after his latest indiscretion. After crashing on rural Skye, leaving him and his valet the sole survivors of a diplomatic mission, Bannon must navigate the complexities of a primitive clan society and take up a role he never wanted: helping a sexy Highlander ensure the safety of both their planets.

Laird Ciaran MacKay wants nothing more than to keep his clan safe from the off-world intruders who killed his father. Suspecting complicity among his own people, he has no choice but to trust outsiders from a spaceship crash—and he can’t seem to fight his attraction to the stubborn redhead. Drawn to the handsome laird, Bannon risks a bold affair. But there is more at stake than reputations as they find two lost Regelens and uncover the Intergalactic Navy’s plot.

Artful Deception by Jackson Marsh (The Clearwater Myseries Book #5)

“Deception. The lie that tells the truth."

A damaged painting tempts Lord Clearwater to a final battle with his arch-enemy, and it's not a summons he can ignore.

Archer must free his homicidal brother from incarceration and reinstate him to the title. He will be left humiliated and penniless, but free to live his life with Silas with no threat of exposure. The alternative is death.

Drawing inspiration from a work of art, Clearwater manipulates a series of illusions to stay one step ahead of the endgame. While James, Tom and Silas race to solve clues and reach Archer before the fatal deadline, the assassin, Dorjan, remains hot on his heels ready to kill.

The sixth book in The Clearwater Mysteries series brings back popular characters from previous adventures in a fast-paced, twisting mystery that can have only one of two possible endings.

Or perhaps one of three. After all, deception is the lie that tells the truth.

Ten or Fifteen Miles by BL Maxwell - May 27th

Tim Latham had only been riding for the Pony Express for a week before he has to show the new guy the trail. Being raised on a farm in the Sacramento area, the Pony Express gave him an opportunity to see more of the country beyond his family’s little plot of land. He loves everything about the job: the adventure, the scenery, and the speed. Racing the wind on the back of a horse was as close to perfect as he could imagine.

Jeremiah Rollins grew up in San Francisco under the shadow of his father's successful shipping business. But Jeremiah craves the adventure he reads about in the dime novels he can’t get enough of. On a whim, and despite his father’s disapproval, he signs up for the Pony Express and leaves his old life behind for the steep, rocky trails that cross the Sierra Nevada. Both men are excited to begin their journey on their first ride together to Nevada Territory. They set out, making their way from station to station, racing as fast as their horses can carry them, and their friendship grows every mile. They both wanted adventure, but they may end up getting more than they dreamed of. Every ten or fifteen miles brings new experiences, and new feelings that grow with each mile they pass.

People Like Us by Ruby Moone (Winsford Green #2) - July 21st

Arthur Fitch clawed his way out of the violence and poverty of the slums of London to become a valet to the aristocracy. His ambition to secure a higher position led him to a disastrous appointment with a cold, brutal man, and when things come to a head, Arthur is forced to flee into a snowstorm to find safety. Joseph Wilkinson is the Winsford Green blacksmith. He has a good life, good friends, owns a thriving business, but at the end of the day when he goes home, loneliness consumes him. When he stumbles upon a small man determinedly trudging through the snowstorm, he invites him into his home to shelter. Arthur Fitch is older, smart-mouthed, and as prickly as hell. But, as Joe peels back the layers, he discovers a warm, funny, vulnerable man whose tastes in the bedchamber leave Joe gasping and desperate for more. Trouble is, having found the real Arthur Fitch, how can he convince him that life in a small town can be infinitely better than working for an Earl? That love really is possible for people like them? Particularly when Arthur’s past catches up with him in horrifying fashion.

Seaworthy bu KL Noone (Character Bleed Book #1) - August 1st - bisexual MC - contemporary, but with a lot of historical touches

An epic motion picture! A gay Napoleonic War love story! Ballrooms and battles at sea! Romantic happy endings on the silver screen! And a film that’ll change everything for its stars ... Jason Mirelli can’t play adrenaline-fueled action heroes forever. He’s getting older, plus the action star parts have grown a little thinner since he came out as bisexual. This role could finally let him be seen as a serious dramatic actor, and he needs it to go well -- for his career, and because he’s fallen in love with the story and the chance to tell it. The first problem? He’ll be playing a ship’s captain ... and he hasn’t exactly mentioned his fear of water. The second problem? His co-star: award-winning, overly talkative, annoyingly adorable -- and openly gay – box office idol Colby Kent. Colby’s always loved the novel this film’s based on, and he leapt at the chance to adapt it, now that he has the money and reputation to make it happen. But scars and secrets from his past make filming a love story difficult ... until Jason takes his hand and wakes up all his buried desires. Jason could be everything Colby’s ever wanted: generous and kind, a fantastic partner on set, not to mention those heroic muscles. But Colby just can’t take that chance ... or can he? As their characters fall in love and fight a war, Colby and Jason find themselves falling, too ... and facing the return of their own past demons. But together they just might win ... and write their own love story.

The Engineer (Magic & Steam Book #1) by CS Poe - May 28th

1881—Special Agent Gillian Hamilton is a magic caster with the Federal Bureau of Magic and Steam. He’s sent to Shallow Grave, Arizona, to arrest a madman engineer known as Tinkerer, who’s responsible for blowing up half of Baltimore. Gillian has handled some of the worst criminals in the Bureau’s history, so this assignment shouldn’t be a problem. But even he’s taken aback by a run-in with the country’s most infamous outlaw, Gunner the Deadly. Gunner is also stalking Shallow Grave in search of Tinkerer, who will stop at nothing to take control of the town’s silver mines. Neither Gillian nor Gunner are willing to let Tinkerer hurt more innocent people, so they agree to a very temporary partnership. If facing illegal magic, Gatling gun contraptions, and a wild engineer in America’s frontier wasn’t enough trouble for a city boy, Gillian must also come to terms with the reality that he’s rather fond of his partner. But even if they live through this adventure, Gillian fears there’s no chance for love between a special agent and outlaw. Based on the short story, “Gunner the Deadly.” Entirely revised, newly expanded, and Book One in the exciting new steampunk series, Magic & Steam.

Pirate’s Promise (Pirate’s of Port Royal Book #1) by Jules Radcliffe - May 12th - the rest of the series is also out this Summer!

Press-ganged as a boy, Job Wright must learn how to live as a free man.

For years Job has been a captive, treated as a servant—and sometimes more—by a crooked merchant crew. Until the day his ship is attacked by pirates. English pirates, no less, and Brethren of the Coast, a brotherhood of free men who owe allegiance to no one but themselves. Job thinks he's been rescued at last, but he's badly mistaken. As an Englishman aboard a Spanish ship, the Brethren believe he's a traitor and an enemy. But just when pirate justice is about to be delivered, Garrett Dubh intervenes. He both saves Job's life and recruits him to the pirate ship Audacious.

Surrounded by a fearsome crew, Job finds protection under Garrett's wing. He's ready to do anything for the handsome pirate—things he'd never willingly do for another man. But Garrett ignores Job's shy overtures. He believes Job is too traumatised by his past. Too young to know what he wants. And nothing Job says will change his mind.

To show Garrett he can take care of himself, Job leaves the safety of the Audacious. He joins the most ruthless Brethren crew in the Caribbean, led by the enigmatic and cruel Rusé.

But in the French pirate haven of Tortuga, thoughtless actions can have fatal consequences, something Job is about to discover. And this time, Garrett isn't there to save him.

Chasing a Legacy by D. A Ravenscroft - May 2020

Against the tense political backdrop of the Second French Empire, siblings Camille and Marianne find themselves wrestling with personal demons both past and present. As Camille strives to keep family secrets buried and unveil a plot against them, Marianne becomes involved with the handsome Baron Auclair and his mysterious younger sister. Little do the siblings know that soon their very different lives will come crashing together…

The sequel to a sequel! In this follow up to the unofficial Les Mis sequel ‘Chasing a Ghost’, we follow Enjolras and Grantaire’s children, Camille and Marianne, through dangers untold and family strife. Set in 1866, towards the end of the Second Empire, this story has murder, mystery, romance, drama, comedy, and a pet lion. And yes, it’s very, very queer.

https://www.lulu.com/en/gb/shop/d-a-ravenscroft/chasing-a-legacy/paperback/product-y58wrq.html

Two Rogues Make a Right by Cat Sebastian (Seducing the Sedgwicks Book #3) - June 23rd

Will Sedgwick can’t believe that after months of searching for his oldest friend, Martin Easterbrook is found hiding in an attic like a gothic nightmare. Intent on nursing Martin back to health, Will kindly kidnaps him and takes him to the countryside to recover, well away from the world. Martin doesn’t much care where he is or even how he got there. He’s much more concerned that the man he’s loved his entire life is currently waiting on him hand and foot, feeding him soup and making him tea. Martin knows he’s a lost cause, one he doesn’t want Will to waste his life on. As a lifetime of love transforms into a tender passion both men always desired but neither expected, can they envision a life free from the restrictions of the past, a life with each other?

Best Laid Plaids by Ella Stainton (Kilty Pleasures #1)- August 31st

In 1920s Scotland, even ghosts wear plaid.

Welcome to a sexy, spooky new paranormal historical series from debut author Ella Stainton.

Scotland, 1928

Dr. Ainsley Graham is cultivating a reputation as an eccentric.

Two years ago, he catastrophically ended his academic career by publicly claiming to talk to ghosts. When Joachim Cockburn, a WWI veteran studying the power of delusional thinking, arrives at his door, Ainsley quickly catalogues him as yet another tiresome Englishman determined to mock his life’s work.

But Joachim is tenacious and openhearted, and Ainsley’s intrigued despite himself. He agrees to motor his handsome new friend around to Scotland’s most unmistakable hauntings. If he can convince Joachim, Ainsley might be able to win back his good name and then some. He knows he’s not crazy—he just needs someone else to know it, too.

Joachim is one thesis away from realizing his dream of becoming a psychology professor, and he’s not going to let anyone stop him, not even an enchanting ginger with a penchant for tartan and lewd jokes. But as the two travel across Scotland’s lovely—and definitely, definitely haunted—landscape, Joachim’s resolve starts to melt. And he’s beginning to think that an empty teaching post without the charming Dr. Graham would make a very poor consolation prize indeed…

The Gentleman’s Thief by Isobel Starling (Resurrectionist Book #2)

Tuesday 28th December 1897. Mr. Benedict Hannan, the owner of Hannan’s Auction House in Fitzrovia, London, receives an unexpected visitor at his Bloomsbury home. The man on his stoop sends Benedict’s heart into a flutter, and on inviting the mysterious stranger into his house, he is inviting mystery, adventure, and volcanic desire.

Sebastian Cavell—master thief, gives the impression he has sought out Benedict for the sake of business, but the kind of business Sebastian has in mind has nothing to do with making money!

Cavell has been tasked with finding the whereabouts of a missing German aristocrat. With Benedict’s society connections, Sebastian gains access to his Gentleman’s Club and to men whose behavior is not so gentlemanly!

Benedict is pulled into the circle of a dangerous secret society and he not only learns the truth about the mysterious Sebastian Cavell, but learns the truth about himself and all he truly desires.

The Curse of the Mummy’s Heart by Julia Talbot - June 30th

Something is rising in the desert sand, and between two adventurous men.

Famous 1920s Hollywood actor Douglas Fitzhugh and his brother Donnie are headed for Egypt on a classic monster movie quest. Their mysterious benefactor, a man they call Grant, has sent them to find a stranded archaeologist, and all they have to go on is a handwritten journal. That's just the kind of adventure Douglas loves, and he never passes up the chance to get away from his studio-driven life.

Charles Angeloff is also on his way to Egypt with a special object his father has asked him to return to the tomb he ripped it from. Charles is just out of university, and when he meets Douglas, he falls hard for Douglas' charm and his worldly ways.

As they travel, more men of adventure join them: a cowboy, a rich seminary student, and a librarian. When they're all together, it's like magic happens, and the men all realize they're on a mission to stop the horror that stirs beneath the desert sands, even as that creature sets its sights on Charles. Will Douglas and Charles lose each other just when they've found what they both think is the man they want to be with forever?

Starcrossed: A Paranormal Historical Romance (Magic in Manhattan #2) by Allie Therin - May 18th

When everything they’ve built is threatened, only their bond remains… 1925 New York Psychometric Rory Brodigan’s life hasn’t been the same since the day he met Arthur Kenzie. Arthur’s continued quest to contain supernatural relics that pose a threat to the world has captured Rory’s imagination—and his heart. But Arthur’s upper-class upbringing still leaves Rory worried that he’ll never measure up, especially when Arthur’s aristocratic ex arrives in New York. For Arthur, there’s only Rory. But keeping the man he’s fallen for safe is another matter altogether. When a group of ruthless paranormals throw the city into chaos, the two men’s strained relationship leaves Rory vulnerable to a monster from Arthur’s past. With dark forces determined to tear them apart, Rory and Arthur will have to draw on every last bit of magic up their sleeves. And in the end, it’s the connection they’ve formed without magic that will be tested like never before.

Another Chance For Love by Ellie Thomas - July 4th

Former British Army Lieutenant Adam Merryweather survived the Western Front of WWI and has slowly recovered from his injuries. But can he heal from a broken heart? Torn between family duty and personal happiness, he sacrificed his love for Alf and has never ceased to regret it in the two years since the war ended. Adam is slowly putting his empty life back together, working for the family firm in the city centre of Bristol and trying to stop his mother’s meddling to find him the perfect socially acceptable bride. When he happens to meet Alf out of the blue, Adam is determined to try again. But convincing Alf to give him another chance may be too much to hope for. Can a chance meeting bring them back together? Or has Adam lost another chance for love forever?

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows by Olivia Waite - July 28th - sapphic

When Agatha Griffin finds a colony of bees in her warehouse, it’s the not-so-perfect ending to a not-so-perfect week. Busy trying to keep her printing business afloat amidst rising taxes and the suppression of radical printers like her son, the last thing the widow wants is to be the victim of a thousand bees. But when a beautiful beekeeper arrives to take care of the pests, Agatha may be in danger of being stung by something far more dangerous…

Penelope Flood exists between two worlds in her small seaside town, the society of rich landowners and the tradesfolk. Soon, tensions boil over when the formerly exiled Queen arrives on England’s shores—and when Penelope’s long-absent husband returns to Melliton, she once again finds herself torn, between her burgeoning love for Agatha and her loyalty to the man who once gave her refuge.

As Penelope finally discovers her true place, Agatha must learn to accept the changing world in front of her. But will these longing hearts settle for a safe but stale existence or will they learn to fight for the future they most desire?

*If more come to my attention after this is posted, they will be added!!!

#lgbt romance #historical romance #sapphic #trans romance #f/f romance #m/m romance #books

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foreverlogical · 3 years

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San Francisco is once again fighting over billionaires’ philanthropic power.

Billionaire philanthropy is once again on the defense in San Francisco, the home of many a tech billionaire.

The latest backlash centers on a city proposal to get 20,000 schoolchildren some in-person teaching and playtime this summer, after city public schools have been closed for more than a year during the pandemic. But a liberal lawmaker has temporarily derailed the initiative to raise questions about the involvement of a volunteer group that she worries is pushing a political agenda.

The saga is another flashpoint in the debate over the proper role of billionaire philanthropists — and their affiliated nonprofits — in society. And it is a window into how the city that is home to tech wealth is increasingly suspicious of civic projects from those tech leaders. Late last year, San Francisco officially condemned Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg for his errors at Facebook after he and his wife, Priscilla Chan, donated $75 million to a local hospital.

Here’s what happened: Earlier this month, San Francisco announced that a foundation called Crankstart, funded by famous Sequoia venture capitalist Mike Moritz and his wife, Harriet Heyman, was donating $25 million to help start a city initiative to offer free summer school or day care programs to kids. The program would be aided by an outside advocacy group called TogetherSF that was formed last year to work on civic projects in the city and has also, separately, been funded by Crankstart. Crankstart brokered the arrangement between TogetherSF and the summer school program.

But TogetherSF’s involvement has become controversial — and is being cast by one San Francisco supervisor, Hillary Ronen, as a possible political play by education reformers. And Ronen this week convinced the board, on a 10-1 vote, to delay approving the program to educate San Francisco students until she could investigate TogetherSF and its political ties.

Ronen is suspicious in part because Together SF is not a typical nonprofit organization that is a 501(c)3 group, but is instead organized as part of a bigger lobbying or advocacy organization, a 501(c)4. The group is also co-led by a former aide to multiple San Francisco lawmakers. And Ronen believes that the group may have loyalties to activists who push for school privatization and charters schools, which are lightning rod issues in urban education policy.

Ronen conceded she didn’t have any hard proof of ties from Crankstart or TogetherSF’s ties to the education reform movement, but said based on its 501(c)4 structure and her limited research, it “looks and smells like” they are seeking to promote a “political agenda.” She is concerned, for instance, that the group could seek to use the volunteers it recruits for future political campaigns in support of anti-union candidates.

“There has to be, in my book, unprecedented transparency and agreement that funders of this initiative are doing so because they’re very concerned about children — and aren’t trying to advance some alternative privatization, charter agenda that is meant to dismantle our public schools,” Ronen told Recode.

Together SF’s founders, Kanishka Cheng and Griffin Gaffney, say their work is non-political and that they merely are seeking to mobilize a network of volunteers to serve their hometown in crisis. They are helping the city with work like collecting donations from private employers and creating a website for the program.

“We’re incredibly surprised by it, honestly. This is the first we’re hearing about this privatization, charter agenda come up as a reason to question the program and our involvement,” Cheng told Recode. “It’s not at all what Together SF has been involved in.”

For now, Ronen has just delayed the vote on the program by two weeks. She told Recode she doesn’t expect it to jeopardize the summer program, but that she was open to voting against it if her investigation revealed new information. But regardless of the final vote, some observers are concerned that the conflict — along with the high-profile Zuckerberg censure in the spring — could dissuade more and more wealthy philanthropists from donating money if it only brings them more scrutiny. The city is also about to embark on a $2 billion fundraising drive, also led by Ronen, when it will need more money from wealthy people.

Moritz, a former board member of Google, and his wife Heyman, an award-winning novelist, have long made local causes a focus of Crankstart, which has a private profile but is one of the Bay Area’s biggest foundations by total assets at almost $2 billion. Crankstart has donated over $50 million to San Francisco nonprofits in 2020, funding efforts during the pandemic that paid San Francisco essential workers to quarantine if sick and local efforts to feed the hungry.

Moritz told Recode that he was trying to help local schoolchildren “and nothing beyond that.”

“All we want to do is to help people who don’t necessarily have a great, wonderful ticket for a great education to get that ticket. That’s all,” he said. “Does it pass the litmus test of is this good for San Francisco, or for a portion of San Francisco? I think the answer is yes.”

Moritz is technically the funder of TogetherSF’s parent company, Civic Action Labs, which runs TogetherSF and a second organization that has also faced tough questions about its political ties. That organization is Here / Say Media, a new media publication focused on San Francisco news that has drawn raised eyebrows from journalism ethicists because it is owned by the 501(c)4 parent company. Almost all nonprofit newsrooms are traditionally structured as 501(c)3 groups rather than as “dark money” political groups, as 501(c)4 organizations are sometimes called.

What unites these two stories is that Here/Say Media, which is also run by Cheng and Gaffney, originally declined to disclose its donors — and that troubled media observers. But then on March 9th — the day before the city of San Francisco announced the involvement of Cheng and Gaffney in the summer program — Here/Say quietly updated its website to disclose that Crankstart was a funder.

“We knew the [summer] program was launching. We’d be more visible. So we wanted to be more transparent about that,” Cheng said when asked about the timing.

Cheng and Gaffney are trying to unwind the intertwined controversies; They are in the process of trying to turn Together SF into a new 501(c)3 organization, which will theoretically reduce suspicions about their political agenda. They said that they will also spin out Here / Say Media into a new, to-be-determined, non-political structure, too.

But political critics of San Francisco government — which is managing several concurrent crises, including one involving its school board over racist tweets — are concerned that the damage has already been done. And that philanthropists will find other things to fund with their billions rather than a city that makes their life difficult.

Asked if this brinkmanship sent a bad message to private philanthropists who want to get involved in city life, Moritz said “actions speak much louder than words.”

“We live in a bit of a political cauldron, and so you know it’s just part of life,” Moritz said. “It certainly won’t deter us if people who don’t even know us, people we’ve never even talked to, ascribe various motives to us.”

Ronen, though, insists it is merely about transparency.

“If their investments is free and clear, and don’t involve a political agenda — fantastic, that’s very generous and wonderful,” Ronen said. “But if they involve an agenda, no thanks. We don’t want your investment. You have enough power as it is.”

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veryruinswombat · 4 years

Text

UR RIGHTS THAT WERE ROLLED BACK BY TRUMP IN 2018

Info from: https://civilrights.org/trump-rollbacks/

On January 4, Sessions rescinded guidance that had allowed states, with minimal federal interference, to legalize marijuana. This move will further reignite the War on Drugs.

On January 8, Trump re-nominated a slate of unqualified and biased judicial nominees, including two rated Not Qualified by the American Bar Association.

On January 8, the administration announced it would terminate the Temporary Protected Status (TPS) designation for nearly 200,000 Salvadorans.

On January 11, the Trump administration released new guidelines that allow states to seek waivers to require Medicaid recipients to work – requirements that represent a throwback to rejected racial stereotypes.

On January 12, the Trump administration approved a waiver allowing Kentucky to require Medicaid recipients to work.

On June 29, a federal judge struck down Kentucky’s Medicaid work requirements.

On January 16, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau under Mulvaney’s leadership announced it would reconsider the agency’s payday lending rule.

On January 17, the administration announced its decision to bar citizens from Haiti from receiving H2-A and H2-B visas.

On January 18, the Department of Health and Human Services announced a proposed rule to allow health care providers to discriminate against patients, and within the department’s Office for Civil Rights, a new division – the Conscience and Religious Freedom Division – to address related claims.

On January 18, the CFPB abruptly dropped a lawsuit against four online payday lenders who unlawfully made loans of up to 950 percent APR in at least 17 states.

On January 25, the Census Bureau announced that the questionnaire for the 2018 End-to-End Census Test will use race and ethnicity questions from the 2010 Census instead of updated questions recommended by Census Bureau staff. This suggests that the Office of Management and Budget will not revise the official standards for collecting and reporting this data, despite recommendations from a federal agency working group to do so.

On February 1, The New York Times reported that the Department of Justice was effectively closing its Office for Access to Justice, which was designed to make access to legal aid more accessible.

On February 1, reports surfaced claiming Trump’s Labor Department concealed an economic analysis that found working people could lose billions of dollars in wages under its proposal to roll back an Obama-era rule – a rule that protects working people in tipped industries from having their tips taken away by their employers.

On February 1, multiple sources reported that acting Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Director Mick Mulvaney had transferred the consumer agency’s Office of Fair Lending and Equal Opportunity from the Supervision, Enforcement, and Fair Lending division to the director’s office. The move essentially gutted the unit responsible for enforcing anti-lending discrimination laws.

On February 2, the Trump administration approved a waiver allowing Indiana to require some Medicaid recipients to work.

On February 12, the Trump administration released its Fiscal Year 2019 budget proposal, which would deny critical health care to those most in need simply to bankroll the president’s wall through border communities. The proposal would also eliminate the Community Relations Service – a Justice Department office established by the Civil Rights Act of 1964 – which has been a key tool that helps address discrimination, conflicts, and tensions in communities around the country.

On February 12, the Trump administration released an infrastructure proposal that would reward the rich and special interests at the expense of low-income communities and communities of color and leave behind too many American communities and those most in need.

On February 12, BuzzFeed News reported that the U.S. Department of Education would no longer investigate complaints filed by transgender students who have been banned from using the restrooms that correspond with their gender identity. On the same day, the department released a statement saying Trump’s budget “protects vulnerable students” – a dubious claim.

On February 26, the U.S. Department of Education proposed to delay implementation of a rule that enforces the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). The rule implements the IDEA’s provisions regarding significant disproportionality in the identification, placement, and discipline of students with disabilities with regard to race and ethnicity.

On March 5, the Trump administration approved Arkansas’ request to require some Medicaid recipients to work.

On March 5, the Office for Civil Rights at the U.S. Department of Education released a new Case Processing Manual (CPM) that creates greater hurdles for people filing complaints and allows dismissal of civil rights complaints based on the number of times an individual has filed.

On March 12, Attorney General Sessions announced the Justice Department’s ‘school safety’ plan – a plan that civil rights advocates criticized as militarizing schools, overpolicing children, and harming students, disproportionately students of color.

On March 23, Trump issued new orders to ban most transgender people from serving in the military – the latest iteration of a ban that he had initially announced in a series of tweets in July 2017.

On March 23, Trump signed a spending bill that included the STOP School Violence Act, which civil rights organizations are concerned will exacerbate the school-to-prison pipeline crisis, further criminalize historically marginalized children, and increase the militarization of, and over-policing in, schools and communities of color.

On March 26, Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross announced that he had directed the Census Bureau to add an untested and unnecessary question to the 2020 Census form, which would ask the citizenship status of every person in America.

On April 6, Attorney General Sessions announced that he had notified all U.S. Attorney’s offices along the southwest border of a new “zero tolerance” policy toward people trying to enter the country – a policy that quickly, and inhumanely, separated hundreds of children from their families.

On April 10, a federal official announced that the Department of Justice was halting the Legal Orientation Program, which offers legal assistance to immigrants.

On April 10, Trump signed an executive order directing federal agencies to push for work requirements for low-income people in America who receive federal assistance, including Medicaid and SNAP.

On April 25, Secretary Ben Carson proposed changes to federal housing subsidies that could triple rent for some households and make it easier to impose work requirements.

On April 26, the Trump administration announced it would terminate the Temporary Protected Status (TPS) designation in 12 months for approximately 9,000 Nepalese immigrants.

On May 4, the Trump administration announced it would terminate the Temporary Protected Status (TPS) designation in 18 months for approximately 57,000 Honduran immigrants.

On May 7, the Trump administration approved New Hampshire’s request to require some Medicaid recipients to work or participate in other “community engagement activities.”

On May 11, the Federal Bureau of Prisons released changes to its Transgender Offender Manual that rolled back protections allowing transgender inmates to use facilities, including bathrooms and cell blocks, that correspond to their gender identity.

On May 18, the Department of Housing and Urban Development announced it would be publishing three separate notices to indefinitely suspend implementation of the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule.

On May 21, Trump signed a resolution of disapproval under the Congressional Review Act, which repealed the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s (CFPB) guidance on indirect auto financing.

On May 22, the Trump administration issued a draft Notice of Proposed Rulemaking (NPRM) designed to block access to health care under Title X and deny women information about their reproductive health care options.

On May 24, Trump signed the Economic Growth, Regulatory Relief and Consumer Protection Act, which will undermine one of our nation’s key civil rights laws and weaken consumer protections enacted after the 2008 financial crisis.

On June 6, Mick Mulvaney fired all 25 members of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s Consumer Advisory Board.

On June 8, a Department of Justice filing argued that the Affordable Care Act’s protections for people with pre-existing conditions are unconstitutional. The brief was signed by Chad Readler, a Justice Department official who Trump nominated to serve on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit.

On June 11, Attorney General Sessions ruled that fears of domestic or gang violence was not grounds for asylum in the United States.

On June 11, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) Director L. Francis Cissna announced the creation of a denaturalization task force in a push to strip naturalized citizens of their citizenship.

On June 12, the Department of Justice sued the state of Kentucky to force it to “systematically remove the names of ineligible voters from the registration records.” This voter purge lawsuit was filed one day after the U.S. Supreme Court upheld Ohio’s voter purges in Husted v. A. Philip Randolph Institute.

On June 18, Nikki Haley, the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, announced that the United States was withdrawing from the UN Human Rights Council.

On July 3, Attorney General Jeff Sessions and Education Secretary Betsy DeVos rescinded guidance from the Departments of Justice and Education that provides a roadmap to implement voluntary diversity and integration programs in higher education consistent with Supreme Court holdings on the issue.

On July 10, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services announced cuts to navigator funding for outreach to hard-to-reach communities for the fall 2018 Affordable Care Act open enrollment period.

On July 25, the Department of Education proposed new borrower defense rules, which would further exacerbate inequalities – making the already unfair and ineffective student loan servicing system even more harmful to all students, particularly to borrowers of color. The proposal would strip away borrower rights and would not protect students from predatory practices in both higher education and student loan servicing.

On September 12, a federal judge struck down DeVos’ attempt to weaken the rule. In October, the Department of Education said it would no longer try to delay the Obama-era regulation.

On July 26, the Trump administration failed to meet a court-ordered deadline to reunite children and families separated at the border.

On July 30, Jeff Sessions announced the creation of a religious liberty task force at the Department of Justice, which many saw as a taxpayer funded effort to license discrimination against LGBTQ people and others.

On August 13, Secretary Ben Carson proposed changes to the Obama-era Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing (AFFH) rule, which aimed to combat segregation in housing policy.

On August 15, the Federal Register published a Trump administration proposal to restrict protest rights in Washington, D.C. by closing 80 percent of the White House sidewalk, putting new limits on spontaneous demonstrations, and opening the door to charging fees for protesting.

On August 29, The New York Times reported that the Department of Education is preparing rules that would “narrow the definition of sexual harassment, holding schools accountable only for formal complaints filed through proper authorities and for conduct said to have occurred on their campuses. They would also establish a higher legal standard to determine whether schools improperly addressed complaints.”

On August 30, the Department of Justice filed an amicus brief opposing Harvard College’s motion for summary judgement in Students for Fair Admissions, Inc. v. Harvard, choosing to oppose constitutionally sound strategies that colleges and universities use to expand educational opportunity for students of all backgrounds.

On September 5, the Trump administration sent sweeping subpoenas to the North Carolina state elections board and 44 county elections boards requesting voter records be turned over by September 25. Two months before the midterm elections, civil rights advocates worried this effort would lead to voter suppression and intimidation.

On September 6, the Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Health and Human Services announced a proposal to withdraw from the Flores Settlement Agreement. The Flores Agreement is a set of protections for underage migrant children in government custody.

On September 13, the National Labor Relations Board proposed weakening the “joint-employer standard” under the National Labor Relations Act, which would make it difficult for working people to bring the companies that share control over their terms and conditions of employment to the bargaining table.

On October 1, a policy change at the Department of State took effect saying that the Trump administration would no longer issue family visas to same-sex domestic partners of foreign diplomats or employees of international organizations who work in the United States.

On October 10, the Department of Homeland Security’s proposed ‘public charge’ rule was published in the Federal Register. Under the rule, immigrants who apply for a green card or visa could be deemed a ‘public charge’ and turned away if they earn below 250 percent of the federal poverty line and use any of a wide range of public programs.

On October 12, the Department of Justice filed a statement of interest opposing a consent decree negotiated by Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan to overhaul the Chicago Police Department.

On October 16, the administration released its fall 2017 Unified Agenda of Federal Regulatory and Deregulatory Actions. The document details the regulatory and deregulatory actions that federal agencies plan to make in the coming months, including harmful civil and human rights rollbacks.

On October 19, the Department of Justice ended its agreement to monitor the Juvenile Court of Memphis and Shelby County and the Shelby County Detention Center in Tennessee, which addressed discrimination against Black youth, unsafe conditions, and no due process at hearings.

On October 21, The New York Times reported that the Department of Health and Human Services is considering an interpretation of Title IX that “would define sex as either male or female, unchangeable, and determined by the genitals that a person is born with” – effectively erasing protections for transgender people.

On October 22, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) issued new guidance on the Affordable Care Act’s 1332 waivers that would expand a state’s flexibility to establish insurance markets that don’t meet the requirements of the ACA.

On October 24, the Department of Justice filed a brief with the U.S. Supreme Court arguing that federal civil rights law does not protect transgender workers from discrimination on the basis of their gender identity.

On October 30, Axios reported that Trump intends to sign an executive order to end birthright citizenship. In a tweet the following day, Trump said “it will be ended one way or the other.”

On October 31, the administration approved a waiver allowing Wisconsin to require Medicaid recipients to work. It was the first time a state that did not expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act was allowed to impose work requirements.

On November 5, the Department of Justice filed a petition with the U.S. Supreme Court to circumvent three separate U.S. Courts of Appeals on litigation concerning the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program.

On November 7, on his last day as Attorney General, Jeff Sessions issued a memorandum to gut the Department of Justice’s use of consent decrees.

On November 8, the Department of Homeland Security and Department of Justice announced an interim final rule to block people from claiming asylum if they enter the United States outside legal ports of entry.

On November 8, the Department of Labor rolled back guidance issued by the Obama administration that clarified that tipped workers must spend at least 80 percent of their time doing tipped work in order for employers to pay them the lower tipped minimum wage.

On November 16, the Department of Education issued a draft Title IX regulation that represents a cruel attempt to silence sexual assault survivors and limit their educational opportunity – and could lead schools to do even less to prevent and respond to sexual violence and harassment.

On December 11, Trump declared that he would be “proud to shut down the government” – which he did. It resulted in the longest government shutdown in U.S. history (35 days), which harmed federal workers, contractors, their families, and the communities that depend on them.

On December 14, BuzzFeed News reported that the Department of Housing and Urban Development was quietly advising lenders to deny DACA recipients Federal Housing Administration (FHA) loans.

On December 18, the Trump administration’s School Safety Commission recommended rescinding Obama-era school discipline guidance, which was intended to assist states, districts, and schools in developing practices and policies to enhance school climate and comply with federal civil rights laws.

On December 21, following the recommendation of Trump’s School Safety Commission, the Departments of Justice and Education rescinded the Dear Colleague Letter on the Nondiscriminatory Administration of School Discipline. Both departments jointly issued the guidance in January 2014.

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 4 years

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Holy Hands | Houses With Teeth Update #2

HOLLA guess who’s back for another writing update!

If the title of this update seems unfamiliar--Houses With Teeth, what? who? when? why?--that’s because the last time I talked about this project on here was the first time, back in July! For a refresher, check out THIS very rambly post where I “intro” the project (very minimally as I had no idea what I was doing).

I still don’t know what I’m doing *exactly* but have made a semi-break through with this project and felt inclined to share. The last I spoke about HOUSES WITH TEETH at length was to vaguely describe what the project was. This book for those who don’t want to read the previous post, is the seventh book in my (very ongoing) series, Fostered. This book comes along five years after writing the first book in the series, after a major writing revolution.

I haven’t shared much about this on this blog because I wasn’t sure how to, but I really struggled with this project. HWT comes as the book after Rewired (book 6), which I finished drafting in March-ish of 2019. From then, until two days ago, I had no idea what I was doing with the series--if I could even continue it, and how I would continue it with all the changes my writing evolution presented. I chose to distract myself/keep busy with Moth Work, a spinoff of this series and my current novel, however, HWT sort of nagged in the back of my mind for many months.

HWT is actually one of the reasons I ended book 6 so hastily! After getting a few ideas for new scenes, I fell in love with the idea of writing my protagonist Reeve in a city by herself, with new people we’d never met before. These rose-coloured glasses worked to my detriment, as the premature idea took over my decision-making process before I could properly understand what I wanted from it.

After the end of Rewired, I thought everything was all fine and dandy! I had a new novel idea set up, ready to be written whenever I wanted. But something unplanned happened--I didn’t end up returning to the project. This is mostly because my desires for the book--whether to write it as a “real” book, or continue it as a semi-disjointed Fostered book (which isn’t shade to my past books, just the tea loool)--started to conflict. Though I started many openings (about 3k words of first scenes), nothing was sticking. I felt like I was misjudging my main character Reeve and making her more of a caricature than she really was. I feared I forgot who she was, and that her story was ending (scary!).

This is where I (recently) found the root of the problem. My mischaracterization of Reeve worked against me, as I’d done exactly what I’d feared doing--misjudging who she was. It had been a long time since I’d written with Reeve, a character I’ve written with since I was thirteen, and though I felt I knew her, I also felt like I’d lost her in translation. While I was back home a few weeks ago, I began re-reading a few passages of book six to get a feel for a character, which helped, but didn’t cause any revelations.

It was only a few days ago, when I helped @sarahkelsiwrites crack the plot of her novel that I felt an itch to try to crack mine as well. I first did this by paging through my (very minimal) notes for the book. This notes document consists basically of only two scene ideas I had that were a few thousand words long. Somehow, re-reading them helped me realize Reeve’s priorities, but most importantly, how much this book focuses on her vulnerabilities. It made me realize the root of her flamboyance toward the end of book six, and where her genuine side resided.

So this leads to the actual update!

Let’s first chat setting, y’all. This was a hard call to make, because I’d initially determined Reeve was going to be in NYC at the start of the book. The problem is, I’m *very bad* at writing real places, especially places I don’t personally know well. The thought of having to engage a five character cast (which seems small, but in a big city where they could be doing other things, feels big), and also have to write in this city accurately made the realism of this book too much for me to handle. I’m all for realism! But I wasn’t prepared for the culture shock that was “welp these books used to take place in an unknown unlocated subway station” to “so this book takes place in a real city”. It made too many things too real for me, the time period included (which is another crisis)! Setting this whole book in NYC overwhelmed me and I knew I wouldn’t do it justice.

The problem is, I’d planned this entire book around NYC. At the start of my initial plan of HWT, Reeve is supposed to live in an apartment above a bakery with two housemates who I’d already sort of gotten to know! I couldn’t just throw all of this away, especially since I’d set Moth Work in a direction toward NYC so everyone could meet up easily. So what did I do? After reading those initial notes I mentioned above, I made it all backstory. ;) And boy! Did this also crack the book open.

This was the first revelation I had with HWT 2.0. Allowing myself to move the book out of this setting, but still have the important parts got me to ask myself why Reeve would move to a big city with a new identity, and oh, did the pot start stirring ITSELF. I then decided to create a smaller town just outside of NYC where I can run amuck, lol. The town’s name is Wicker (for now) which I don’t dislike, though it hasn’t grown on me. I’m very bad at making up town names, and after many attempts, I settled for a very real word?? Lol.

This post is getting long, so I won’t explain the story unless y’all want to know, but I came to the decision that in this town, our fave soft boi Foster would have a nice house and his ideal cottagecore life, and all would be SWELL. Until!! This leads to our very hasty summary:

After escaping a toxic relationship, twenty-year-old Reeve disappears for the second time in one summer. She’s drawn to Wicker, a mealy town outside New York City, whose disappearances of affluent girls has caught her attention. The day she arrives, a sinkhole buries one of them in the front yard of her new home, a fixer-upper she shares with estranged friend, Foster. Quickly she falls prey to speculation by herself and others, who try to connect her to the tragedy. And even stranger, false recognitions as the girl in the ground, and the many other missing Wicker girls make her feel more and more like one of them--these alluring unknown women.

(A huge thanks to @sarahkelsiwrites for literally cracking this book open for me, and for all the conversations we’ve had regarding this project! Literally this book wouldn’t exist without Sarah!)

Now let’s get into the first thing I wrote for HWT 2.0!

Holy Hands is the prologue of Houses With Teeth, and marks a milestone for the first prologue I’ve written!

This prologue was a very impromptu thing. I drafted this a few days ago, and immediately felt something I’ve never felt writing any of the other (many) openings I’ve tested for HWT. It felt very right, but most importantly, I felt like I had Reeve back. It’s very possible for your own characters to hide from you (which is how I felt with Reeve), and though it’s taken very many months for her to really reveal herself to me, I’m so happy I’ve waited because I’ve never been so stoked to write her.

As y’all know, Reeve is a bit of a no-bullshit kinda gal. The last chapter you would’ve seen her in, she was lounging in a motel bathroom drinking margaritas on her own and you know? We love that for her! Except, after that chapter, I couldn't figure out who she wanted to be--the ‘no fucks given’ woman in the bathtub, or the vulnerable, porous person she often was in earlier books. I love no fucks given Reeve, however, I think I got caught up in her no-fucks-givenness that I missed the time she does give fucks (which is! often!). This prologue really opened me up to her, and I feel a closeness to her that I haven’t felt in a long time.

The prologue itself is rather short. It’s about 1300 words pre-edits, and I wrote it in! one! sitting! A phenomenon! We begin as Reeve is getting out of a taxi to enter her new home, AKA her old pal Foster’s house. She invites herself after a horrific encounter that scares her out of NYC and closer to her old pals (who she’s estranged herself from). Reeve outlines first, the disappearances of these affluent girls, and then fixates on Irene, her future housemate, whom Foster describes as many things that summer. Reeve is semi shook by Irene because she’s startlingly pretty and also startlingly looks like?? her?? (Reeve is just into herself? Who knew?)

Excerpts:

Here are a few excerpts from the prologue that I kinda dig! Here is the first paragraph:

Four girls went missing the summer the ground opened up. I was the unofficial fifth. They were girls I knew, in some iteration at least. Girls who wore their hair down, collars up. Anklets from their football boyfriends, like voguish ball-and-chains, pretty lingerie no one would see for at least another decade. Things I’d never worn, but wanted to wear. They were wealthy girls with the kinds of parents who dressed them in tights and midi-skirts, sent them to boarding schools, paid for piano lessons just to display a trophy. Girls with parents who wanted synthetic children. Girls who lusted over the romance of marriage—the ultimate form of female liberation. Girls who cast spells with each other and chose their friends based on zodiac signs, the amounts of vowels in their names. Girls who kissed each other in secret and stayed missing until they wanted to be found. None of them knew me.

This is a description of Wicker (CW: a bit of a gory descriptor):

That summer was pallid and bitter. Wicker sat in a valley an hour outside of New York City, and rarely caught sunshine. The locals explained it had always been like this—anemic, unexciting. Women came here to raise quieter children, and those quiet children threw stones at each other’s eyes to see who’d go blind first. The first one who did was found floating face-down in the creek behind the church and the women and children left hastily. It worked in waves like this: people coming, people going. Wicker was empty and both full—of the dead, and alive. I’d chosen it for this reason.

Here’s an excerpt that comes right after the previous (all of these actually make up the first three paragraphs lol, TW: eating disorders):

The cabbie I’d given the last of my savings to took my bag out of his car trunk and walked it up to the house. It was one of the few nice days in Wicker, one of the last while I was there. Sunshine slit my face in two as I watched myself in the cab’s reflection. I reached for my cigarettes and realized too late that I’d left them back at the apartment. That summer, I was the thinnest I’d been. The hollow ache of me more of a victory than a loss. I know why I stopped eating in those first two weeks, why every meal Foster would later serve me in that house felt cryptic, and it had something to do with the body they never fully recovered. I wasn’t hungry when I’d gotten to Wicker; I wasn’t hungry for a long time after.

Some Foster gentleness (I missed him!):

Chickadees chattered in the birdfeeder Foster had set up a week earlier. Though I hadn’t been on the road long, the drive had exhausted me. The midafternoon clouds pilled, hardly overcast, something I’d come to miss when the sun stopped coming. He hadn’t invited me to live with him, but didn’t object when I called to say I’d be coming up. It was the first I’d spoken to anyone who knew me as Reeve and not Evie in half a year. That day, he greeted me from the porch and took my single carry-on from the cabbie with a boyish thank you. It was one of the last times I’d see him wear it—his bashful gentleness, like he always felt the need to apologize even when everything was brilliant.

Here’s an intro of Irene, where the chapter title comes from:

Irene sat at the kitchen table inside the house. I caught her in glances through the doorway. The first thing I thought was that she’d look better as a blonde. A small thing who held her mug like she was holding a holy object. I’d later be haunted by those hands when I remembered how they looked by the time she was partly pulled up. Foster described her as many things to him over the course of that summer: a housemate, a partner, a friend, sometimes just a person he knew. She was reading something, something French—I could hear her reciting parts of it, at times loudly, like she knew she had an audience, at times at just a whisper, the most personal parts, I later found. I’d translate the line I’d heard most prominently later: Don’t let the house consume you.

“Cigarettes?” I said to the cab driver as he was nestling back into his car. When he didn’t hear me, I knocked on his window. The sound of it made Irene’s head bob to attention, though only for a moment. “Cigarettes?” I mimed smoking one when he only blinked at me. We spoke minimally on the drive up, though I learned more about him just by looking. Two daughters, their pictures pasted neatly on the dash. Candy coloured flyers for take-out restaurants jittering against the AC’s shutter. In all that time, I hadn’t learned his name.

When he rolled up the window, I had to jump back so my nose didn’t get clipped. The sun shifted through the glass in wisps, like cobwebs, and my face disintegrating from the surface of the glass was the last thing I saw before he zipped away.

I was surprised to see Irene standing on the porch next to Foster when I looked up. My cheeks warmed. The cabbie’s drive-off had embarrassed me, and I realized how I looked to her, a woman I didn’t know, that I already wanted to know. A bit pathetic. Frazzled. A city person who couldn’t navigate a city. A weak woman—already needing a fix on her first day of a new life.

“I’m quitting,” I said, even though she hadn’t said anything. In the sunshine, she was prettier than I wanted her to be. Her hair hip-length, a length I’d always been too impatient to achieve. Wearing a camisole and a midi-skirt. Pearls in her ears, like the others wore. In New York City, she would’ve been plain to me. The kind of girl I would’ve marked up with a pen in a magazine. Outlining her hips as to say they weren’t good enough, squiggling over her eyebrows because her face was too pretty for a body so average. It wasn’t long after she was gone that I became mistaken for her.

And here’s a bit from the very end of the chapter:

The ground opened like a cracked egg, so slow at first, I didn’t notice. Some say she pushed me. Others say it was the other way around. It melted under us, and one minute I was thinking about how embarrassing I was, how crude it was to still be addicted to cigarettes, and the next, there was a belly in the ground and Irene was somewhere in it. Her dark hair wisping around her, like a tornado. How I thought she’d look better as a blonde. Holy hands, camisole, midi-skirt, pearls in her ears. This was all I’d ever know of Irene. A body was found the summer the ground opened up. I still don’t know exactly who she was.

So that’s it for now y’all! Obviously lots of stuff is subject to change, but I’m finally feeling confident with this path (if I scrap all of this you will know lol)! I’m very excited for this book, and hope to take some more notes on it soon to see where it will go. For now, I’ve got an idea for the first chapter I can play around with, but I hope y’all enjoyed this little piece so far!

--Rachel

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #writingupdates #fostered #houseswithteeth

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