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gunilslaugh · 5 months

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Scared To Love

Goo Gunil

Summary: Gunil makes it obvious that he likes you, but after being hurt one too many times you’re scared to love again.

WC:~2k

Warning:none

photo not mine credits to owner.

Gunil was someone who you couldn’t quite call a stranger. You knew his name, that he played the drums, is a music major, and that he was into you. You worked at a cafe that had live music. More often than not music majors from the college three blocks away would sign up to play. Gunil being one of these said music majors. The first time he came to play he came with two others. You don’t know their names, but one played guitar and the other played the keyboard. Your cafe offers complimentary drinks to those who perform, so you brought the drinks over to the small group of boys, setting them on a nearby table.

“Here are your drinks, let me know if you need anything else,” you spoke politely, gaining their attention away from their instruments that they were setting up.

“Thank you.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank y-” Crash!!! The dude who was setting up his drums hit his head on one of his drum’s cymbals. His friends are quick to laugh at him.

“Are you alright?” you asked concerned.

“Oh uh ye-yeah!” He stands up, dusting imaginary dust from his pants and takes a hold of the cymbal, stabling it. “I’m ok. Your beauty just surprised me,” he said without shame.

“Seriously?”

“Dude?” Either of his friends chorus out while you let out a half chuckle, feeling awkward.

“Well since you’re ok I’ll get back to work. Have a good set,” you told them and walked back behind the counter.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when Gunil returned to the cafe the next day.

“What can I get for you?” you said your usual line.

“An iced coffee and…” he pretends to think. “Your number” he gave you a flirty look. You lightly shook your head.

“Ok one iced coffee and nice try.” You went to go get his coffee.

“Wait!” he called you back. You stopped in your tracks turning back to face him.

“Yes?” you said.

“I hit my head because of you yesterday, can’t I get your number?” he pleaded.

“I’m sorry about that, but you said you were ok. Try again tomorrow,” you tell him with no actual intention of giving him your number.

Try again tomorrow Gunil did and the day after that and the day after that. He was persistent, but not pushy. Each day he would show up and try to woo you with some cringey flirting. Only for you to reject him. He would look disappointed, but show up again with a look of determination.

“Would it really kill you to give the guy your number? He comes in here everyday, he's clearly serious about you,” your coworker tells you after you rejected Gunil yet again.

“Serious about me? He doesn’t even know me,” you refuted.

“Cause you won’t let him,” they countered.

“Cause I’m not interested in dating. He’s wasting his time.” You wiped down the counter harsher than necessary.

“Then why haven’t you told him that?” They questioned.

“Constant rejection isn’t enough of a hint,” you say.

“You don’t directly say no though. You say stuff like. ‘Try again tomorrow.’ ‘Maybe next time.’ ‘Not today.’ or sometimes you just walk away without answering him,” your coworker calls you out. “Are you seriously not interested in him, not even a tiny bit?” They held up their thumb and pointer finger with a slim distance between them.

“No,” you said blanky. Even if you were interested in Gunil you wouldn’t do anything about it. Love has screwed you over one too many times and you weren’t gonna give it a chance to do it again. You didn’t want to get hurt again and you didn’t trust anyone to not hurt you. So even if you looked forward to Gunil coming into the cafe to try his luck with you. You were too scared to try your luck with him.

“Your usual?” you asked Gunil as he approached the counter.

“No, I think I need a decaf today, but I still want your number.” He seemed a bit nervous, stressed.

“I think tea works better for nerves,” you suggested. Gunil smiles.

“I’ll have tea then.” He sounds much happier, makes you think that maybe you were wrong about him seeming nervous.

“Which type?” you asked.

“Whatever you bring me, beautiful.” He winked. You let out a half chuckle, leaving to go make his tea.

“So you do care about him.” Your coworker appeared beside you, making you jump.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say as you fill Gunil’s cup with hot tea.

“ ‘I think tea works better for nerves.’,” they mocked you.

“He seemed stressed and decaf wasn’t going to help,” you explained.

“It wouldn’t have hurt either,” they pointed.

“I was just being nice. Go back to work.” You shooed them away, placing the lid onto the now warm cup.

“Here’s your tea, honey lavender.” You placed Gunil’s drink on the counter.

“Thank you, pretty.” He picks up the cup.

“You’re welcome. Have a good day,” you said your usual line.

“It’s always a good day when I see you y/n,” Gunil said as he walked towards the exit. You playfully rolled your eyes.

Gunil was back with his friends to play another set. You brought them their complimentary drinks, setting them on the table, like you did last time.

“Here are your drinks. Gunil don’t hit your head again and let me know if you need anything else,” you say.

“I’m still waiting for your number,” Gunil states as you're about to walk away.

“Keep waiting,” you tell him and walk back behind the counter. After Gunil and his friends finished playing their set you saw two girls approach them. You watched as they began to talk to Gunil. You didn’t like the feeling that started to bubble up in your stomach. Gunil then looks over at you, both of your eyes meeting. You quickly look away, beginning to wipe the counter as if you weren’t staring. However you couldn’t fight the urge to look back over at Gunil. When you did you saw the two girls walking away. The bad feeling in your stomach didn’t go away. Suddenly Gunil appeared in front of where you stood at the counter.

“I didn’t give it to them,” he informed you.

“What?” you questioned.

“One of them asked for my number, but I didn’t give it to them,” he clarified. The bad feeling in your stomach went away, but that scared you even more.

“Why are you telling me this? It’s not my business,” you dismissed, trying your best to mask how you really felt on the inside.

“I want it to be your business. You’re the only one I want to give my number to, which is why.” Gunil slides a napkin over to you. You look down at it to see that his number is written on it. It makes your heart pound. “While I wait for your number, you can have mine. Do whatever you want with it,” he smiled.

“Ok.” You didn’t know what else to say. Gunil bid you a goodbye, leaving you alone with his number and feeling terrified as you stared at it. Not being able to stare at it any longer you grabbed the napkin, crumbling it up and shoving it into the pocket of your apron. You didn’t know what to do.

The next day Gunil came into the cafe just as he always does. You almost ran away to hide in the back, but your coworker already left for the day, leaving you as the only one to work the counter.

“The usual?” you tried to sound normal.

“Yes please,” he answered. You moved to prepare his drink. Feeling hyper aware of his crumpled number in your pocket. You came back to the counter with Gunil’s drink in your hand.

Taking a moment to swallow the lump in your throat before speaking.

“Are you busy?” you asked, keeping his drink on your side of the counter.

“No, why?” he returned

“I close up in fifthteen minutes so…” Your throat tightens up and you push his drink over to his side of the counter.

“I’ll wait.” His eyes shone brightly.

“You don’t know if fifteen minutes ever felt so fast or so slow as you hang up your apron. You anxiously held the napkin with Gunil’s number on it. Taking a few breaths before heading over the table where Gunil was waiting.

“There you are,” Gunil said happily as you sat down.

“Yeah,” you murmured. Silence encased the two of you. You tried to find the words to speak, but your throat felt tight, your heart was beating hard and your hands felt clammy.

“Don’t you have something to tell me?” Gunil checks.

“Oh yeah I do it just..uh..” you brought up your hand that was holding the napkin. “I don’t know what to do with this.” You hesitantly opened your hand, letting the crumpled napkin fall onto the table. Gunil breaks out into a shining smile and a light laugh.

“Why do you look so happy?” you questioned.

“Because you kept it. I thought you threw it away,” he tells you.

“I don’t know what to do with it though,” you said.

“Stand up,” Gunil orders you.

“What?”

“Stand up,” he repeats with a chuckle. You do as you're told and stand up.

“Walk over to the trash.” You looked at Gunil oddly, but still did as he said walking over to the trash.

“Throw it away.” He nodded his head in the direction of the trash.

“Huh?” your brows came together.

“Throw it away,” he repeated.

“You want me to throw your number away?” you asked.

“Throw it away,” he said again. You lifted your hand that contained the napkin with Gunil’s number on it, but froze before you could let it fall into the trash. You didn’t want to.

“I don’t want to,” you said out loud.

“Then what do you want to do with it?” Gunil prompted.

“I told you I don’t know.” you let your hand fall back beside you.

“You do know. You know you don’t want to throw it away, which also means you want to keep it, doesn’t it?” You did want to keep it and that scared you. You nodded your head.

“See you do know what to do with it. Keep it.” You walked back over to the table taking a seat again.

“If I keep it doesn’t that mean you’d be waiting for me to contact you?” you questioned.

“You don’t have to contact me,” he told you.

“Don’t you want me to?” You inferred.

“Of course I want you too, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said. Another silence encases the two of you.

“I’m scared,” you revealed softly.

“What?” Gunil asked.

“I’m scared to love someone. I got hurt in the past and now I’m scared to love someone again,” you confessed. Now Gunil understood the way you were acting.

“I’m not asking you to love me y/n. You know that I like you though, so if you give me a chance and face your fear I promise I’ll treat you the absolute best. If I ever hurt you I’ll beat myself to a pulp,” he says. The fact that you’re thinking over his words and thinking about giving him a chance scares you.

The next day your heart pounded as you wrote your number on Gunil’s cup, even had a second cup ready to go just in case you chickened out.

“Here’s your drink,” you passed the cup, with your number on it, to Gunil. “Have a goo-”

“Best day ever!” Gunil cuts you off, doing a fist pump, making you laugh. You were still scared to love, however Gunil was making being scared worth it. “Thank you!” He expresses eyes filled with sincerity.

“Take good care of it.” (me) You point your finger at him.

“The best-est” He swore….and he did.

#I think I liked this more in my head....#xdinary heroes #xdh #xdh imagines #xdh x reader #xdinary heroes imagines #xdinary heroes x reader #xh gunil #gunil x reader #goo gunil #koo gunil #gunil

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aamalaaa · 1 year

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Lifeline | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: bestfriends to lovers au, hurt/comfort, jk is so understanding, fluff, romance, reader is sad but it'll be ok

warnings: reader suffers from depression but doesn't know it, it gets a little heated but there's no smut

word count: 3.6k

a/n: sooo, this was supposed to be a drabble and yet.. I got a lil carried away. I hope you like this, I've wrote this from my own experience with depression, I hope you can find comfort in it, you're never alone and I love you<3

It’s been days, weeks now that you’ve been feeling like this. Nothing happened, nothing dramatic. You still go to work, still talk to your friends. On the outside, things seem as normal as they usually are. You seem okay, maybe a bit indifferent.

You’re not.

You’re not okay, you feel like not enough air gets into your lungs, you feel heavy, tired, like the weight of the world is too much to endure. You still manage to look relatively okay, you shower, put on makeup, make sure your clothes are clean and fit well together when you put an outfit together.

You haven’t washed your clothes for weeks though. You only have a few things left in your wardrobe, the rest of your clothes lay on a chair, on the floor of your bedroom, your couch and next to the shower.

You didn’t clean up your room, kitchen, bathroom or anything in your apartment really. It doesn’t look good, you can’t stand to leave the lights on because you’d have to face the mess and feel bad about it. You don’t feel like you’re doing enough, you feel incompetent and lazy.

You don’t cry though, can’t bring yourself to. Staying awake and going to work is tiring enough, you can’t muster enough energy to cry on top of that. You wish you could, maybe it would help. Fill the empty hole in your chest, make you feel something again, replace the shame and tiredness with something else. Anything not to feel like this, empty, unmoored.

You’re laying in bed when you hear it first, a soft knock. Your ears perk up at the sound but you still stay wrapped up in your duvet, even bringing it up a little above your head, trying to drown out the noise.

But the noise doesn’t stop, it’s at your front door and it gets louder and louder. Though it stays gentle, like the instigator knows you can’t handle more, loud and constant noises make you feel overwhelmed these days.

You groan loudly before throwing the duvet off your body in one swift motion, making you shiver instantly at the contact of cool air against warm skin. You need to up the heat here, or maybe put on something that isn’t tiny shorts and a tank top.

You barely have anything else in your wardrobe though, goddamn you need to wash your clothes.

You slowly trudge to the front door, hoping the visitor will get tired and go away before you get there. But he doesn’t and you have no choice, someone came up here to see you and you can’t be this ungrateful. Won’t let yourself be.

So you card your hand through your hair to try and tame it before quickly opening the door to its full extent.

The black haired man stares at you with his wide doe eyes, hand stopping mid motion in the air where the door was, a black tote bag in his other hand.

You stare back, shock clearly visible all over your face. If you didn’t expect one thing, it’s to see Jungkook at your doorstep, looking this fucking hot in black sweatspants, a black longsleeved shirt and an equally black baseball cap to match.

“Kook, what are you doing here? Did we have something planned? I forgot didn’t I- Ah shit! I’m so sorry, my mind’s a bit of a mess today..” You anxiously blurt out.

Jungkook awkwardly brushes a strand of hair beneath his ear. “No, no we didn’t have anything planned, don't worry,” He hurriedly says, noticing your nervousness. “I just-“ He pauses. “I hadn't heard from you in a few days and you didn’t respond to my texts so I decided to pay a visit..”

And if his appearance wasn’t enough to make you melt into a puddle of goo, his explanation sure is. Because how could he be this attentionate and caring?

You’ve known Jungkook for a few months, meeting him through your group of friends and you quickly grew closer, became good friends even. And you may or may not have a huge crush on him but that’s another story and you’re not about to admit it out loud, not now, not ever. If he liked you that way he would’ve told you already, you’re not about to burden him with your feelings.

But you’re fine being just friends, he’s an amazing person and you couldn’t imagine your life without him now, he’s the funniest and kindest person you’ve ever known. You can keep your emotions under check, maybe they’ll even settle down after a while.

Though you doubt it considering the way your heart beats loudly against your rib cage only from standing a few feet away from the man. Oh well.

“Oh.. that’s very kind of you,” You breathe out.

Jungkook shoots you a dazzling wide smile and you almost faint at the sight.

“Sooo, can I come in? I got a few things for you,” He lifts up the tote bag he’s been holding.

Your heart skips a beat, god he’s making it very hard for you not to completely fall in love with him.

“Umm..” You start, unsure what to say.

He can’t see your place like this, he’d probably run for the hills. “My place’s a bit of a mess and I was planning on cleaning up today-“

“I can help!” He enthusiastically cuts you off.

You stare at your feet, wiggling your toes around. “I mean you don’t have to, it’s fine really and you must have better things to do..” He can’t see your place like this.

He snorts. “I have the day off, let me help, I want to! Plus, I brought food!” He says, a hopeful smile etched upon his mesmerizing face.

Goddamn fucking Jeon Jungkook, you can’t say no to him, not when he’s looking at you like that.

“I- Ok but please don’t judge, I’m just very busy,” You step out of his way, motioning for him to come in. His only reply is a nod before he slides in through the door.

He spends a moment, and only a moment to observe your apartment before heading towards the kitchen counter and dropping the bag he’s been holding.

You’re so fucking embarrassed, he’s probably gonna judge you or worse, pity you. Though he would never say it out loud, that’s not Jungkook.

“I’ve seen worse,” He gets out a few supplies from the bag and puts them on the counter.

“Please don’t lie, it’s disgusting,” You sigh, picking up a few stray clothes on the floor to throw them on the couch.

He lifts up his eyes to you, gaze locked into yours. You hold it for a few seconds before dropping your eyes to the ground, a rosy tint adorning your cheeks.

“What’s going on?” He gently asks, dropping the broccoli he was holding on the counter and stepping closer to you.

You shrug and nervously fiddle with your fingers, refusing to meet his gaze. You can’t do this, you’ve been really good at keeping your emotions at bay.

You can’t give up now.

But he doesn’t relent. “What’s wrong?” He’s very close to you now and you shyly peek at him before dropping your eyes to your hands again.

He softly takes both of your hands in his, stopping you from fiddling with them. And you can barely hold it in now, you have no distraction to focus on instead of the gaping hole in your heart, threatening to split your whole being in two any moment now.

“Nothing, don’t worry,” You croak.

He drops your left hand to bring his right one up to your chin, tilting your face upward slowly, forcing you to look at him.

You feel them, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, ready to spill out.

He stares at you, an incredibly concerned look in his eyes and caresses your chin softly with his thumb. “Talk to me, please.”

And that’s all it takes for you to lose it, tears flowing freely on your cheeks like cold rain on a fogged up window. You bring your hands up to your face, hiding to the best of your abilities behind them.

“I- I d-don’t know Kookie, what’s wrong with me?” You hiccup, the sound muffled by your palms.

Your heart almost splits in half when your friend takes you in his strong arms, your head laying in the crook of his neck, and strokes your hair in soothing motions. Which only makes you sob harder.

He doesn’t say a word for a long time, settles on stroking your hair and leaving a few kisses on top of your head.

You manage to calm down after a few minutes, but not before you leave a big wet spot on his shirt.

“Oh god I’m so sorry, your shirt is ruined.”

He chuckles warmly and leaves another kiss on your head before replying. “It’s just a shirt.”

You nuzzle a bit closer in his neck, taking in the calming jasmine scent. It’s grounding, like a deep rooted tree in the middle of a storm.

“Do you want to sit down and eat?” He asks, voice just shy of a whisper.

You shake your head no, pressing even closer in his embrace, not willing to let go. Which prompts a loud chuckle out of Jungkook.

“You need to eat, we can lay around and do nothing after.”

You groan, but ultimately step away. Jungkook lets out a small laugh, strokes your hair once more and sweeps his thumbs under your eyes to try and dry your wet cheeks.

You can’t help the furious blush that creeps up your neck and all the way to your cheeks, though you can hide your face behind your hair. So you do.

Jungkook coos before heading towards the kitchen counter, getting to work immediately.

You’re mostly silent, though Jungkook manages to make you laugh a few times with his antics. You eat the meal he prepared for you, not missing the way he constantly peers at you to make sure you’re eating.

You almost eat all of your plate, you’d feel entitled and ungrateful not to. But there’s so much your stomach can take, and the portion he gave you was twice what you’d usually eat.

“This was amazing, thank you,” You smile.

He smiles back, that bunny grin of his you love so much. “My pleasure.” He replies, a slight blush making its way onto his cheeks. “Got anything you want to do this evening?” He tilts his head to the side before getting up and dropping his plate next to the sink.

“I was thinking of just like, watching a movie or something. You don’t have to stay, really,” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t hope he would stay.

Which is why your heart swells ten times its original size at his response.

“I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to leave,”

You shake your head. “No.. stay.”

He smiles bashfully before taking your plate and cleaning the dishes he had used for the meal. You get up and join him, picking a rag up and drying the clean dishes before you put them in the cupboards.

It takes a few minutes, silence reigning peacefully over the both of you, the only sounds breaking it being Jungkook whistling quietly and water splashing in the sink.

When you’re both done, he excuses himself to go to the bathroom and you take that moment to change into a large black t-shirt and slide under the covers of your bed, using the remote controller to turn on the television.

When Jungkook comes back into the lounge, he chuckles at the sight of you snuggled deep under the covers, a plushie between your arms, scrolling through netflix for a movie to watch.

You quirk your brow at him questioningly when you see him awkwardly standing next to the bed.

“What are you standing there for?” You playfully question.

He cards a hand through his hair, seemingly nervous. “Well.. where do you want me?”

You stare in shock, mouth agape before you break out into a loud cackle while Jungkook frowns in confusion. “What? What did I say?”

“Oh Kook,” Your laughter dies down progressively. “It’s nothing.” You pat the empty side of your bed, smiling amusedly at the black haired man.

He shrugs, confused but still hops on the bed, keeping a safe distance from you, much to your dismay.

“Get under the covers Kookie,” You stare him down.

“O-ok,” He tentatively slides under the covers, fully clothed.

You press play on the title you chose and scoot closer to Jungkook, feeling him stiffen at the proximity. “What’s wrong?” You question, feeling shy all of a sudden. It’s not your first time cuddling with him, so why is he being weird about it?

He exhales slowly before responding. “I just-“ He stops himself, rubbing at his eyes anxiously. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with this.. I know you’re feeling vulnerable and sad right now, I don’t want to take advantage of that.” He almost whispers the last part, while you can only look at him curiously, not quite understanding what he means.

“We cuddled before, what’s different?” You question, straightening up.

He shoots you an indecipherable look before scooting closer to you. “Nothing, come on over.”

You giggle and drape your arm around his stomach, your head resting on his chest. The soft rhythm of his heart puts you at ease almost instantly.

You both watch the movie in silence, Jungkook occasionally stroking your hair, making you shiver each and every time.

After a while he breaks the comfortable silence. “Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?” He breathes out against your hair.

You sigh in resignation. Of course he’d want to know, and it’s understandable. You did have a full on breakdown in his arms, after all. You just don’t know what to say, don’t know what’s wrong. You just know something is.

“I’ve been feeling kinda.. off, I guess?” You start, voice uneven. Another gentle stroke of your hair. “Like I have no energy, I don’t want to go out or do anything, I can’t clean up or do anything except go to work..” You feel him shifting his head a bit, probably looking at you.

You don’t meet his gaze and continue. “It’s silly really, don’t worry too much.”

He sighs and tilts your chin up with his free hand. You slowly lift your eyes, meeting his own. He seems conflicted and hurt. You don’t understand.

“How could you say that?” He observes you carefully. “I care about you, of course I’m gonna be worried. And it’s not silly, it’s important. I want you to be happy, so happy. You deserve it, you deserve everything good. How can you not see that?” He cradles the side of your face with his hand, you blush profusely, your heart beat going absolutely frantic. What the hell is going on?

“I- I’m sorry..” You don’t know what to say, apologizing seems like the right thing to do, seeing the pained look on his face.

His hold on your face gets stronger as his eyes widen. “Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong, except thinking so poorly of yourself.” He exhales. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad about it, I’m sorry.” He strokes your cheek tenderly.

You can’t stop staring in his big eyes, like under a spell of some sort. It’s just hard not looking into them when they seem to hold the whole galaxy.

You open your mouth to speak, but close it soon after. He sends you a questioning look.

It takes you a few seconds to reply. “I don’t know what to say..” You murmur.

“You don't have to know what to say, we’ll figure it out together,” He gently replies, shooting you a soft smile in the process.

You almost cry again as his words register in your head. You inhale shakily. “Why-“ You gulp. “Why would you do that for me?”

He brings his head down, fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt. “Why do you think?” He whispers, a peachy tint appearing on his cheeks.

You frown in confusion, using your hand to stop his movements. “Because you’re a good friend? Why are you being so cryptic?” You ask, completely lost

Jungkook chuckles fondly before looking back into your eyes. “I’m really gonna have to spell it out uh,” He cradles the side of your face once more before timidly smiling at you.

“I guess so?” You unknowingly snuggle closer into his hand.

“Will you let me show you?” He strokes your hair with his long fingers, spurring on a shiver out of you.

You send him a puzzled look. You’re so fucking lost. “Um, I guess yeah?”

He looks at your lips before gazing into your eyes again, then stares at your lips once more.

And your heart might leap out of your chest because then, he gets a little closer, his face a few inches away from yours. His breath fanning over your cheeks makes you shiver.

“Can I kiss you?” He murmurs, so close you can almost feel the vibration of his voice onto your skin.

“Can you what-“ You squeeze his hand on instinct, the one you were still holding.

“Kiss you,” He replies cockily, raising a brow.

“Uh, what-“ What’s going on, and why are you so socially inept. “Why would you-“ You loudly gulp, not finishing your sentence.

He nervously chuckles. “Because I-“ His voice cracks, and he tries to move further away from you. You scream internally. “It’s ok if you don’t want to. God I’m sorry I didn’t-“

You cut him off by tugging on his arm and crashing your lips onto his before even realizing what you’re doing. The angle is awkward and your lips collide almost painfully. You don’t care though, can’t bring yourself to.

At first, you both stay there, lips pressed against the other’s, unmoving, surprised by the sudden closeness. But soon enough, Jungkook kisses you back, sighing happily while his soft lips caress yours. You start moving along with him almost immediately, it’s almost like a dance, really.

You feel him shift as he adjusts your position, laying you down backwards and hovering over you, tilting your head back a few inches to deepen the kiss.

Your brain is foggy, you can’t even think or do anything but kiss back hungrily. Like his lips are a lifeline and you’re lost at sea. Latching onto him with unrivaled passion, your hand gripping the hair at the back of his neck pleadingly, soft whimpers escaping your throat only to be swallowed by the man holding you together like glue.

You fist the front of his shirt so forcefully your knuckles turn white while Jungkook nibbles at your bottom lip. You can feel him smirking against your mouth when you let out a loud whimper. He uses that moment to slide his tongue against yours, groaning in the process, lapping at your mouth like a dehydrated man.

And if this is a dance, then Jungkook is a master dancer. And the avid apprentice you are, you’re willing to learn every step, over and over again until you know them by heart.

You slide your hand under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his bare skin and defined abs you thought about more often than you’d be willing to admit. You notice him shivering at the contact of your hand on his stomach and that only serves to spur you on even further, up his ribs and chest.

It goes on like this for a long time, parting for oxygen from time to time, only to come together again. Jungkook and you battling for the lead, though you always end up happily losing the battle. And after a while it gets softer, gentle caresses and long, languid strokes of tongues intertwining together in complete harmony.

Jungkook slides his thumb above your eyebrow, leaning away for just a moment before leaving a quick peck on your lips. When he lets go of your lips, you try to chase his own needily, only to hear a gruff, quiet laugh from the man you just spent the better half of an hour kissing.

You open your eyes and pout at him, which is apparently really funny because he laughs even harder.

Your pout deepens and you try to push him off with all the strength you can muster, which is admittedly not a lot.

He coos at you before leaving yet another soft kiss on your lips, making you sigh happily.

“I guess you wanted to,” He confidently comments, a small smirk lifting the side of his red swollen lips.

You roll your eyes playfully. “Great guess, Sherlock.”

Jungkook settles down next to you, tugging you closer to him as he does. You wrap your arm around him and lay on his chest, just like you did earlier. Except now it feels more intimate and the butterflies in your stomach roam freely around your body.

You don’t even notice you’re dozing off until a strong hand gently shakes your shoulder, you hum in response.

“Do you want me to go?” You hear a scratchy voice murmur in your ear.

You frown and shake your head. “Nuh-uh, stay, please..” You’re barely able to get the words out in your sleepy state.

“Okay, I’ll stay,” He responds, snuggling even closer to you. You suspire contentedly.

As you slowly slip into unconsciousness you ask one last question.

“Are you gonna be here when I wake up?” You slur.

You barely register a soft peck being laid upon your forehead.

“Wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.”

a/n: this is the link for the general taglist for my writings<3 click here!

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betterbooktitles · 3 months

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I had placed a stack of albums on the counter of a tiny strip mall record shop when my smartest writer friend called me out of the blue to tell me I should “always have a mistress.”

Relax. She meant a metaphorical mistress. That is, a writing project on the side. You have your main squeeze (a novel or a script) but then you flirt with the idea of writing a YA Romance or a Thriller or (god forbid) poetry. You need something to write that feels like a break from your “Big Project.”

I was staring at the cover of Tears for Fears’ Songs From The Big Chair, imagining the person I would be once I heard “Head Over Heels” on vinyl when my phone rang. I only had the ringer on because I was waiting for a potential call from a casting director. A certain late-night show sent out a casting notice for “shirtless man” and I, without any shame, turned on the lights in my wife’s office and had her take a few shots with my phone. I had the ringer on in case a stranger got my (half) nudes in an email, and said “That’s it! Get me that torso!” I’m sorry to say, enough time has passed without a call that you will not be seeing my chest on TV any time soon. Usually, my phone remains on silent when I’m out in the world. It also remains on silent when I’m at home because I’m staring at it all day anyway. Who needs to bring noise into that equation? If you call, I’ll see it.

Between the tone of her voice and the occasional swoosh of a car going by, I could tell my friend was driving and had me on speakerphone. She was on her way to lunch with someone on the business/agency side of Entertainment, heading to a mix of pleasurable banter over food with a friend but also a business-minded networking session with someone she hadn’t seen in 6 months. This call, pleasurable to me but in retrospect a bit of business since we talked instantly and almost entirely about work for 20 minutes, was eerily fortuitous. It was like she knew I was writing this week about work and relationships.

“You have the mistress project because it makes you feel young,” she said, telling me about her decision to write 50 pages of a Romance novel. “The problem is that you think ‘Maybe I should leave my wife for this younger project.’” She had submitted the first chunk of her frivolous manuscript to an agent, and, to her horror, the agent loved it. Now she has to live with it for a while. She has to explain to her previous project that they are either in a polyamorous marriage now or about to enter a trial separation. Plus, she had to see if the mistress project was wife material or if she’d fall into the same patterns as her previous relationship. OK. We get the metaphor.

“I’m afraid my new mistress is buying dollar records,” I said, watching the traffic go by, sipping from a lid-off paper cup full of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee that, between the time I’d spent looking at records and chatting in the parking lot, had turned cold. I felt the urge to rush back into the store and apologize to Timmy the manager for stepping out. I worried he’d already re-shelved my copy of The Go-Go’s Beauty And The Beat or that someone had seen the Tears For Fears on the top of “my” unpurchased heap and bought it for himself. This shopping trip was supposed to be an Artist Date (I guess the metaphor is still going), a weekly outing you do solo to engage with your Muse before journalling about it because a book called The Artist’s Way says it’s the only way to remain creative. You woo the Muse by engaging with art alone. Typically, I’d go to a museum or a movie by myself for my Artist Date but I’d had a record player for over 2 months and had only amassed a measly hundred-plus albums in my house so far. My next Artist Date will be a trip to IKEA to buy a shelf to hold more.

“No, Dan.” My brilliant friend said, “Replacing your main project with records or books is like saying you’re not going to have a mistress and instead get into sex dolls. You need a creative project.”

Read the rest of the essay here.

#essay #writing #amwriting #essays #substack #funny #tips #humor #personal essay #muse #art #better book titles #dan wilbur

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pinkandpurple360 · 3 months

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Pls tell your fizzablitz headcanons

Please please please

For whatever reason I’m feeling very angsty about them today. I have this whole idea of Fizz thinking he didn’t mean as much to Blitzø as he did to him.

Growing up, fizz felt like a bit of a dork. He was and still is very nerdy, when blitz came back from his theft hunt as a kid Fizz was the most excited by the books, and by the tiny piece of sparkling chandelier he gifted to fizz especially. It shimmers beautifully and it began his fixation with mirrors and how pretty they are.

The other kids didn’t like him much, they felt too inferior. They picked on him. But blitzo was too arrogant to feel that way, or maybe he had too much heart. Fizz started out way back then, wearing the patchy clothes while Blitzø wore the clean suit. Until he decided to let fizz wear it for good luck. He began by telling blitzos own jokes that he gave him, until eventually he became better at them. But he never understood why he stopped smiling back. He wanted B to be proud of him, he wanted to be on equal terms with the ringleaders son. He wanted to make enough money to stand next to him in their own circus, or run away together to do something else. B was his favourite person, his hero, his first kiss, his massive crush, his first…well you know, his first time. But he never felt good enough. He wasn’t sure if he was loved at the circus. Maybe the way mammon could love him. If he worked hard enough.

He still keeps the piece of mirror, and stares at it when he’s all alone. He keeps a heart shaped locket with Ozzies name on it, but inside, it’s not Ozzie, there’s a photo of him together with Blitzo on the other side. Fizz scribbled out his own face in shame. He’s dealt with “unrequited” love for Blitzø for so long, seeing him with someone else pisses him off more than anything. His whole love life and sex life pisses him off, he can’t stop ranting about it, and he doesn’t even know why he still thinks about it. For years all he did was talk about him, Asmodeus doesn’t know why either. At least not yet.

He was going to gift something to Blitzø one day, he had typed up a letter on his type writer, it was something poetic, sappy and embarrassing. A written out version of their dream. Asking blitz to choose him, stay next to him, hold his hand and hold him close. He calls him the star of the circus, and in Fizz’s eyes Blitz is his star too. The guiding kind. The loyal kind who helps you when you feel lost. But so far away. Only when he leaves the tent, he sees him with one of the girls at the circus, actually, it’s a much older woman, he’s holding her, the way he wants to be kissed by him, kissing her with fervour, the way he wants to be kissed, and it’s agony to see it. It hurts so much. But it shouldn’t, Blitzø has a different person on his arm every other week. Fizz isn’t his partner, he’s just the circus star. He leaves and doesn’t see B almost pass out after, from whatever it was she spiked his drink with. He screams at her to get the fuck away from him. Fizz burns his shitty childish letter.

He’s seen how Blitzø throws himself at other people, not understanding that cash sells him to any people in the crowd who desire him and want to own him for the day. Almost like the way cash tried to get fizz to do a private show for someone, maybe a birthday party? But it was just a single man in the room, sitting on a chair, asking him to dance. Weird. He blew him some balloons and played with the confetti. The guy was really tired at the end? But fizz did everything? And. For some reason, Blitzø was so angry about it. He hated the guy, but wasn’t that man just lonely?

Later, Mammon made him do a lot of these. The mystery became less apparent. At least they didn’t put their hands on the merchandise. Him. Because he hated that. Now, he had to stop looking behind him for Blitzø to be there, to tell him that it’s ok, that it’s safe, or when it’s not safe, and to get behind him. He will protect him from the creeps. But he’s gone, he left, he got sick of him, he wasn’t good enough for him, his tastes are more regal now. Maybe they always have been. Ever since he was little and went off with that strange kid client, his new playmate of the day. Fizz’s replacement. Maybe if that first show was more perfect, Blitzø wouldn’t have left him. Maybe if he just followed his lead and played pirates, he wouldn’t have left him. He has to let other people tell him what to do, stop fighting back so much. It’s not what people want. People don’t like that. Now that Asmodeus is here, he makes him laugh, he protects him..sometimes. But he never reacts fast enough. When he passed out at Ozzies, and woke up again, the first thing he saw was Blitzs back, again, leaving him, again, leaving him with that Prince. Whatever, he doesn’t actually care.

#helluva boss #blitzfizz #fizzarolli #angst #info dump #story dump

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rekas-writes · 2 years

Text

Spooktober Day 1: Lost

Pair: Yoru/GN! Reader Source: Valorant

Type: Drabble - 997 words Genre: Fluff, tiny smidge of thriller Perspective: Second-Person (You/Your)

Summary: During Skye’s team-bonding trip outside, you end up lost with your only source of company being the one and only, prickly, and already annoyed Yoru.

TW: Slightly creepy, ambiguous ending at the end!

A/N: Stole some of the mist from the Entity from DBD just to make this setting- Speaking of, maybe I’ll add DBD to the Fandom list. I'm also kind of iffy on this one :C I really tried to paint this like a monster reveal rather than a mirror. Hopefully the next prompt hits better.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You weren’t quite sure when you got split up from the others until you were knee-deep in brittle, sharp branches and all-consuming fog, your poor heart already thumping at the lack of familiar chatter and footsteps. The evening light barely shone through the canopy of leaves and thick tree branches, and the dimming of the world around you only made your mind race with morbid possibilities. What if it got too dark for you to find the others? What if something happened to your friends? What if something sinister attacked you? You were on your own with no weapon bar the utility knife Skye had gifted you. The only thing keeping you together was the rift-walker who was still somehow attached to you, dragged into the mess you unknowingly stepped into. It was a wonder how he managed to find you despite having lagged behind the entire time.

He was understandably irritated at the situation, having already been grumpy when Skye woke the whole gang up at the ass-crack of dawn to go nature hiking. Getting lost, while trying to drag your ass back in line, and getting seemingly trapped within thick, immovable fog at every turn was very much not helping his mood. Then, you just had to open your mouth while Yoru tried to guide you both out by himself (though, really, you weren’t sure how he was going to get you out when he knew damn well he couldn’t see a thing- just like you). How did he even find you in this damn fog?

“We’re lost aren’t we?” It was meant to be light-hearted, but the tension and growing anxiety really killed the humour in it. You regretted it the minute it left your mouth, grimacing as you struggled to even look in his general direction. Now really wasn’t the time,

“We wouldn’t be in this fucking mess if you didn’t stray from the damn path. All this just because you wanted to pick some flowers for the flower girl,” he grunts the last bit under his breath, and you swear there’s some kind of scorn in the way he mentions Skye… It almost seemed like… Jealousy? Whatever it was, it was gone in the blink of an eye as he straightened himself and sighs, “I… Listen, I’m sorry. I just…” He’s rubbing at his temples as he talks,

Your eyes widen a little bit at his change in demeanour, blinking slowly before you shake your head, “No, no, it’s fine. You… You’re right. I shouldn’t have wondered so far. I should’ve asked the others if they could stop for a bit,” you offer a small, apologetic smile but he only frowns a little,

“That doesn’t make it ok for me to lash out at you,” the way his face scrunches and his brows furrowed in both guilt and shame is almost adorable, and if you didn’t value your safety, maybe you would’ve told him so. He seemed a little softer on you than the rest, or at least, that’s what Phoenix always said. It was moments like these that made you see it. From the way he swallowed his pride in arguments, to the way he patched you up after training, to the way he brought you meals you missed despite his scolding.

Cautiously, you rest a hand on his shoulder. He’s still warm to the touch despite the evening drafts that begin to sweep at your hair, and there’s a faint smell of something sweet? metallic? carried through the scent of damp grass and splintered pine. He’s twitchy under your hand but he remains still, eyes peering into yours with an unreadable expression,

“Hey, it’s ok,” you offer a smile, hesitant yet warm, a means of comfort amidst the uncertainty that painted your surroundings. Hell, you were VALORANT agents. You’d faced certain death and worse, surely this was nothing. Yoru’s face softens a little, his shoulders relaxing under your hold. It’s almost like you aren’t lost in the middle of who knows what. It’s just you two in the common rooms back on base, relaxing and watching whatever dumb horror film you could find to celebrate the spooky season. You give a little thumbs up, a wink spurred on by Yoru’s loosened posture, “There’s nothing we can’t do together!”

This time, he laughs. A proper, little thing as he shakes his head and brushes you off. The deep rumble sounds so pleasant in your ears, you yearn to hear more. You want to see that soft look on his face again as he looks at you, almost like you were the only thing he cared about. That sense of security only heightens from that moment as you grin and laugh a little, if only to brush off the growing butterflies in your stomach,

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t get lost again. I’m not looking for you if you do,” he rolls his eyes and walks on, and you don’t bother to question where he’s going. Anywhere was somewhere you supposed, as you rooted through foliage laced with tangled brambles and barbed nettles. You’re quick to thank your guardian angel that you stuck with long cargo pants for the trail. The material barely seems scratched.

You inch over, walking a little closer together with Yoru remaining seemingly unaware, the proximity giving you body heat to fight the passing cold as well as providing a reason to quell your panicking brain. Even if you were lost, you were with Yoru. You’re safe, a mantra you repeated to yourself in the waves of doubt when your gut feeling twisted and turned. Oh, you really shouldn’t have ignored it.

Your heart almost trips over itself with how hard it was hammering.

You see a recognisable figure ahead of you: a shock of familiar blue hair, an eerily recognisable bright blue jacket and as they turn, you see a face that looks at you with an all-too confused and frightened expression to continue feeling safe with the person who had been by your side this entire time.

“Yoru?”

#valorant x reader #valorant #valorant yoru #yoru x reader #x gender neutral reader #x ftm reader #x male reader #x trans male reader #reader insert #Spooktober 2022

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 1 year

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Hi Sea, do you have any thoughts on the headline of the Times article and Louis saying he was “mortified” when the band split.

It’s such an odd choice of headline. I think Louis chooses his words so carefully, so I’m assuming “mortified” is a very deliberate choice.

Why didn’t the interviewer follow up with “why did you feel that, what did you have to feel embarrassed/shame about”? (Rhetorical…fairly sure we know why).

I’m maybe reading too much into it, but the only thing I can think is that this is a subtle confirmation that he was blindsided by intentions after the “hiatus”, and mortified/embarrassed that he’d trusted and taken people at their word.

Ultimately obviously I think it’s a massively poor article, and frustrating that (yet again) the focus is 1D/Harry, but some of the things he’s said are intriguing.

Hi,

From the Times article, I will reprint all of Louis’ standalone quotes. We’ll see that this reads very differently from the rest of the article, almost with an exact opposite tone and intention.

“All right?”

“I’ve always had a problem with ‘ego’, and I’ve always been worried about being one of those people in the public eye who just loses all sense of reality, and becomes an arsehole. I’m from Doncaster.”

“If someone does come up after an hour to ask for a selfie, I won’t say no and I won’t run away, especially if I’m three pints deep!”

“With this job, there’s so much room for overthinking, you know? Someone from the record label will tell you they like your stuff, but you find yourself thinking: yeah, but do they? It’s the fans that help you really believe in yourself.”

“I do miss the boys, and I do definitely miss being one of the five, but I like doing my own thing too. It was time.”

“This is a confidence game for anyone, and there’s been plenty of moments of vulnerability throughout the entire process.”

“Only Harry knows what he means there. It’s hard to speculate. But we all came from relatively humble beginnings, and now we are where we are.”

“Some of the things that have happened recently have been quite drastic, yeah, but then so much in my life seems to have been pretty extreme, one way or the other. There’ve been challenging times, definitely. It’s funny, but I couldn’t even tell you how many years ago my mum passed, I just blank it out. But for the first 18 months, I’d take any form of bad luck personally. I’d feel every tiny thing. But now I genuinely feel I’ve come out the other side. I feel more empathy for everything and everyone these days.”

“[Leaving Syco] was mostly amicable. Simon always had my best interests at heart, and I liked him. He had his faults of course, like all of us, but it was always inevitable I’d have to go off and do my own thing.”

“[Writing with artists rather than professional songwriters] was a big difference, huge. These are people who live and breathe music. It’s the first time I felt really comfortable doing my own stuff, you know?”

“When I was in the band, working with professional songwriters whose entire aim was to write the hit single, they’d tell me that singing in my natural accent wasn’t commercial. Sorry, but what a shit idea. Who wants to sound like everybody else? I dumbed down a little bit in the band, because you do, but I’ve learnt who I am now.”

“Well, being a role model for one. I never wanted that. I always had to worry whether it was OK if, say, I was seen here or if I could get away with smoking a joint there, before concluding: hmm, probably not. But I never wanted to be the perfect pop star, especially in the climate of Instagram. I don’t want to put an artificial world out there. I think it’s important that people see your scars, your flaws.”

“When One Direction split up, I was mortified, I was absolutely gutted. I was a bit bitter, I suppose, because it just felt like another loss to me. But I’ve a better understanding of things now, and there’s not as much anger. It is what it is. Getting back together at some point is hard to imagine right now, but I’d be surprised if we lived out our lives and didn’t have a moment where we had a reunion, or whatever you want to call it. I’d be up for that.”

“Well, it’s not a surprise is it? We were always aware that Harry fit that mould, and it’s been an amazing thing to watch. Envy? At the start maybe, when I was trying to find my feet, but it’s never healthy to cross-reference your own success with others, is it? These days I’m learning to elevate myself in those moments when I have to. I didn’t know how to do that before, but now? Now I know I f***ing can.”

Journalists are usually trained to be as objective as possible, to present the artist in the context of their work without interjecting their own “psychological” read on motivation. However, this journalist seemed to be determined to overlay his weirdly personal, obsessively biased narrative over Louis’ words, by framing Louis as someone who lost to Harry Styles and is still bitter about it.

The journalist’s interpretation directly contradicts Louis OWN WORDS, “But I’ve a better understanding of things now, and there’s not as much anger. It is what it is,” and also, “It’s never healthy to cross-reference your own success with others, is it?” The journalist obsessively read into Harry’s words as well, hunting for a confirmation from Louis that Harry is actually more articulate and sympathetic than he is — so much so that in the article Louis has basically had to say, “No comment.”

It reads like the confrontation with the Australian television show where the interviewer obsessively dwelled on the college class about Harry, and Louis replied, “Why don’t you sign up? You seem very interested.”

As for Louis’ using the word “mortified,” we can see that Louis placed it in the context of feeling “gutted,” and grieving for “another loss.” The band’s end really was like the death of something irrecoverable to him. He has expressed in previous interviews how he did not expect hiatus to be a permanent break because no one in the position of knowing (including Harry) was honest with the rest of the band. No one would tell them definitively. The reason was probably that they were hedging on 1D as the backup route if solo Harry failed. At the time, it probably felt risky for Sony to kill such a moneymaker, to alienate the other guys in this way… but as it turned out, Harry Styles is fine with leaving no prisoners standing. Harry uses their names only when he mocks the boys or needs a PR shine.

#the times #louis tomlinson #24 february 2023

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darklylucid · 5 days

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Kelly! Hi! Just checking in cause I wanted to ask how you’re doing? I haven’t been very active lately, but I had a cute thought. Lester, freckled by the sun, his hair slowly curling up at his ears as it dampens lightly with sweat, his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth, a look of concentration on his face as he stares intently at the ground. A bright smile suddenly tugs at his lips, illuminating his whole face with mirth. “Ha! I found another one, Bo! That makes twelve! How many do you got again, two?!” He’d rush towards the spot in front of the tree, sliding a bit as he falls to the ground, his hands instantly moving toward the little piece of treasure on the ground. He’d be so careful, plucking it gently out of the ground and cradling it in his hands. Mushroom soup was so much better than roadkill.

—

I went mushroom hunting for the first time in my life with my boyfriend and his family today and got caught in barbed wire (why there was a random string of barbed wire connected to a tree, I will never know) and literally face planted the ground! (I’m okay!! My shoe is shredded thought lmbo) it was hilarious. I laughed . Nobody else did. It was embarrassing. For some reason I still can’t comprehend, I then proceeded to lay flat on the ground while everyone stared at me. I wonder if they can tell that I don’t get out much 🤣🤣

It was fun though. I’m me so I felt out of place but like, I’m very glad I agreed to go. I never wanna do it again, but it was fun to see everybody so happy and excited to search for mushrooms. I hadn’t had any plans of hiking this summer, but after that, I kinda miss it. I wanna try and see some waterfalls. Maybe the sun and a long walk is exactly what this year needs.

(Also friendly warning that if you’re a easily freckled person and you’ve been out in the woods, that tiny new “freckle” might not be a freckle after all and could very well be a baby tick.)

This ended up being a bit longer than I thought it would be. Sorry!! I hope you’re having the bestest of Mondays.

- Lily ❤️.

How, HOW could I have possibly known just from reading this bit in the middle - 'I went mushroom hunting for the first time in my life with my boyfriend and his family today and got caught in barbed wire' that this ask was from YOU? OMGFG, Lily...MOTHERFUCKIN' BUBBLE WRAP, I *swear*

Also...💕 LILY!!! 💕

I'm going to go ahead and assume that you somehow managed to find the only bit of barbed wire within 50 miles to trip over. It's such a you thing to do 😂

I'm glad your face is ok, and it's far better to have a shredded shoe than a shredded foot...with your luck, you could've gotten Necrotizing Fasciitis (don't look it up, really...DON'T) 💀

There is no shame in tripping over something in the woods, and I definitely would have helped you up...after I took a photo, of course! 😊

That is a beautiful HOW thought...and I can see Lester being quite an accomplished mushroom forager, especially with all the books he scavenged from the derelict home of one of Ambrose's former residents, a retired Mycologist who now serves as a permanent fixture in the House Of Wax...

Please be very careful, Lily, as mushroom foraging can be both incredibly fun and incredibly dangerous, and people have died from either cooking a meal made with foraged mushroom they thought were harmless, or have had them deliberately fed to them by someone intent on causing their untimely death...

That being said, can you just imagine Lester trying to teach Bo and Vincent the difference between 'this is safe to eat' and 'if you eat this it will hurt the entire time you are dying'?

(Yes, mushroom soup IS oftentimes better than roadkill...except when it comes to raccoon roadkill stroganoff made WITH foraged mushrooms!)

How he would gently explain to a gravely disappointed Vincent that the mushrooms he thought were rare and expensive Morels were, in fact, 'False Morels', one of the most poisonous mushrooms in the state, and how he would promise to bring him some real Morels from 'that fancy-ass grocery store' the next time he went into town...

...or, how he would smack Bo with his hat and give him a stern lecture after Bo tried to convince him that the freshly picked basket of 'Fly Agaric' mushrooms couldn't possibly be poisonous because Mario ate them all the time in the 'Super Mario Brothers' games...

(Red cap...white spots, it *looks* safe to eat, therefore they *are* safe to eat...right?)

Now, as for tics, the closest I ever get to plant life is browsing the produce section of the local grocery store! I don't hike or take walks in the woods, so, that's one less thing to worry about!

If you ever do see some waterfalls, I expect pictures! I've never seen one in person, but, I can live vicariously through your adventures!

Sorry for the lateness of the reply, but TECHNICALLY, today is still 'a' Monday, right? 😅

Last Monday was pretty good, but unfortunately, it preceded a shit week and an even worse weekend (nearly three days of stress-induced panic attacks was not restful, but at least I was off those three days...small miracles, right?)

I miss you, Lily...my DM's are always open for you! *Hugs* 💕

#House Of Wax #Bo Sinclair #Vincent Sinclair #Lester Sinclair #Slasher #Slashers #Slasher fandom

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asin-kurama · 8 months

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I used to be extremely thin & though I’ve only gained a small amount of weight it means so much to me. I’ve spent my entire life feeling shamed for being small & tiny. Most ppl call it petite now, but back when i was young & fragile i was considered “sickly”. Nobody knew the depression i was dealing with on a constant basis. Not even myself, i knew of the word…eventually. But i never really had a understanding besides a deep sadness. Even in times of relation with others when i felt “ok” or thought “maybe i might be happy” i still struggled with my weight. Not because I’m naturally small ( as most ppl rationalize) but bc deep inside i was still suffering from wounds i never knew effected me so deeply. I was completely unaware of how emotional scars can not only damage the soul, but your mind & physical body. I’ve struggled with this all my life & I’m slowly getting to a place i can proudly share my body in confidence. I used to not even step on a scale bc to see that 2 digit number would only make me feel more ashamed of myself. I’m happy to say I’m not ashamed of my scars anymore, I’m a warrior, a fighter, a survivor of life & it’s many elements, people and their own hurt, pain & trauma. I’ve lived longer than i ever expected myself to live & I’m extremely proud, as each day goes by & if i ever enter that space again i am able to weather the storm more & more each time. I’m proud of this little bit of weight I’ve gained & I’m also proud of being “skinny”, “tiny”, “small”. The world pushes a image on us but i was made in Gods image & only he can change me, only he can guide me when it’s time for something different. I trust in his creation. I love the vessel he has supplied me. I am grateful. 💖

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ashdreams2023 · 2 years

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Hey so I just read your fic you wrote where reader asks Loki to make a seggs tape and and I was wondering (bc my twisted mind had an idea) if you could do where that tape gets leaked and the reader like runs into the kitchen crying and yelling at tony and Bruce to tell them and to take it down somehow and she just feels like a…whøre or whatever for doing that and feels bad for almost ruining Lokis career aswell??

Sorryyy ik that’s weird, u don’t have to write it! Idk what’s wrong with my mind 🙈

Summary: your sex tape with Loki gets leaked.

You were supposed to have a nice weekend, nothing on your schedule, maybe even go on a shopping spree you just got paid for god sakes.

But of course something had to happen.

"Your phone has been blowing up with notifications since you got into the bathroom love" Loki commented, still trying to make his hair look a little less greasy for the day.

"Oh really, I wonder why" you grabbed your phone, on the screen it showed multiple notifications from your social media and a few headliners with your name and Loki on it.

The panic officially hit though when you opened one of the links and you saw what people have been screaming about.

"Done! Hey why don’t w-" Loki didn’t finish his sentence, your face was frozen with shock and terror.

"Love…what’s the matter?"

The whole world seemed to crash on itself.

"To…TONY!" You screamed suddenly and stormed out the room, leaving Loki in utter confusion.

Tony and Bruce had just gotten out of the lab after pulling an all nighter and just putting something in their stomach when you barged in on them like a madman.

"HELP ME HELP ME!" you cried pulling Bruce by his caller and shaking him "this is a disaster please help!"

The two men looked at each other, not yet fully grabbing what just happened.

"Calm down kid and maybe tell us what happened!?" Tony said.

"Just look at your phones, it’s everywhere…I beg you take it down and erase it off the planet" Tony blinked before checking his device and let’s say he was expecting the worse but this…was not what he had in mind.

"Ok, this will take a few hours just so we make sure everyone who saved it gets a virus" you let go of Bruce and nodded, all your hope is laying with them.

You could see Bruce’s face flush when tony whispered to him about the situation, god you never wanted to die more than today.

The tower was already empty or you would’ve had everyone stare at you.

Loki walked in the common area and found you sitting on the sofa with your face hidden in your hands, clearly still crying.

"Darling it’s not that b-"

"No it is Loki!" You snapped at him "I ruined everything now, your reputation, your career for god sakes and my own image!" your face looked so red, anger mixed with shamed, mixed with embarrassment.

Loki sighed softly, he walked up in front of you and kneeled down to your eye level.

"Look at me please"

"I don’t want to…"

"Why? I want to see your pretty face" Loki’s hands reached for your face, lifting it up and smiling at you with a look that holds nothing but adoration.

"Why are you not angry?" You sniffed.

"Because there is nothing to be angry about, I’m shocked yes but not angry and you shouldn’t be either" you blinked at him, a little confused and a tiny bit comforted by his touch.

"You are not responsible for it leaking, you are an adult in the law eye and that tape didn’t show anything strange-"

"But-"

"No buts. The public knows of our relationship and is it no surprise that we have sex, so what? and it didn’t ruin nobody’s career, we’re heroes not some celebrity, plus if anybody has something bad to say about you they’ll have to face me first" Loki was many things but dumb wasn’t one of them, he knew how law worked and if he wanted to he could turn whoever leaked into dust.

"Let’s calm down, stark and banner will take care of everything" he wiped your tears with his thumb, you warped your arms around his neck and nuzzled your face in his neck.

"If you say so."

#imagine #mcu #loki laufeyson #loki smut #loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #fanfic #mcu loki #loki/y/n

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ticklishbeans4 · 2 years

Note

hi! how are you?, have you ever been interested in writing about Adrian Graye (the leader of the coven of illusions) with the idea that he is good and became Gus's teacher or something like that

🐰

Well since you two asked so nicely, and cause this is such a cute idea I HAD to write it! Enjoy!

Illusions of Another Time

“Now, just hold still.” Adrian spoke, a reassuring smile on his face as he placed his hand on Edric’s wrist. Gus watches with bated breath, as did the rest of the student body. But when he pulled his hand back he gestured for Edric to turn to the crowd. “Now! As you can all see, it looks real! But, Edric was it? Show us some beast keeping magic.” Edric looked worriedly out to his sister, but drew a small circle in the air, summoning a butterfly. The tension that left the room was palpable. Everyone was suddenly lining up to get their “sigils” and chattering excitedly about how cool it was that they were gonna pull one over on the emperor’s coven!

When Gus’s turn came up he fiddled nervously with his tunic. He was excited to be part of this whole big ruse, but… He was meeting the head of the illusions coven! The coven he was so desperate to join! This was kind of a big deal!

When he approached, Adrian grinned wide and knelt down in front of him, tail swishing, almost like a puppy. “Ah! You must be Agustus! Principal Bump told me about you! Quite the little prodigy, from what he said. I have to say, for someone so young to be in such advanced classes, it’s a marvel! Why, even I wasn’t that good at your age! Who knows, maybe you’ll replace me one day!”

Gus giggled and held out his arm, “I don’t know about all of that, but I do want to join the illusions coven one day! I like having some extra showmanship in my life.” “You and me both little ringmaster!” he laughed, putting the fake sigil over Gus’s wrist. “If you don’t mind, once the scouts have passed, would you mind showing me just what you can do?” This must be a dream… “I-I’d love to! It would be an honor even!” he grinned, bouncing on his heels excitedly. Adrian chuckled, his tail coming up and playfully tickling Gus’s nose, making the boy giggle and cringe away cutely. “The honor is all mine! Now, run along to your friends, I’ll meet with you soon.” Gus nodded and ran off, “WILLOW! WILLOW! OH MY TITAN!” ~timeskip~ “And so you just draw your spell circle with the mirror and…”

Before them appeared a field of multi-colored flowers and plants. Adrian looked down and inspected the flowers. “Amazing work! So detailed!” Gus tried to grin, always happy to get such high praise from his new mentor, but it was hard keeping up an illusion like this. There were so many tiny details to focus on. The older witch chuckled and ruffled Gus’s hair, “Let’s take a break, alright?” Gus quickly dispelled the field and flopped over with a sigh of relief. “Yes please.” Adrian laughed and sat next to him, “Tired already little ringmaster?”

Gus just put an arm over his eyes, blowing a tired raspberry. They’d been at this for most of the day, though this was the first time he got to use the amplifier. It was a heck of a rush really. The magic was stronger than anything he’d felt before. He’d definitely want one of his own someday!

A poke to his belly made him jump out of his thoughts with a squeal. Adrian backed up a bit, blinking in shock. “I was just going to ask if you were listening. But I’d rather ask if you’re ok. That was quite a reaction.” Gus’s face went dark with a warm blush, “I-I’m fine! You just startled me, that's all!”

“Is that so…” the head witch smirked, gently poking him again. Gus squealed again, curling up a bit and hugging himself.

“Did that surprise you too? Or are you going to be honest now?” he teased, “I am the head of the illusions coven, if I couldn’t see through a lie then well… I wouldn’t be very good at my job, would I?”

Gus pouted but it was pretty pointless to argue with him at this point. “W-well… I mean… I might be… just a bit… kinda… ticklish?” “Now was that so hard?” he chuckled, ruffling Gus’s hair, “There’s no shame in it! Plenty of people are ticklish! I mean, if I had a snail for every time I saw and heard that Golden Guard boy getting destroyed by Darius, well, my pay as a coven head wouldn’t be able to compare.” Gus laughed a bit, and was definitely remembering that bit of information. After all, Hunter was living with Darius now, and Gus had been wanting to visit again.

“In fact.” the coven head continued, “I am even of the firm belief that everyone has a tickle spot somewhere, I’d even be willing to bet Belos has a few.” Gus snorted,m “No way! He’s way too grumpy!” “The grumpier they are, the harder they giggle.” Adrian replied dramatically, wiggling his fingers at Gus for emphasis, making the boy squeak and giggle. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d quite like to find your tickle spot!” Gus gasped as Adrian’s wiggly fingers hit his belly, quickly falling into a stream of bubbly, silly, giggles. “W-wahahait! I’m tihihicklish! Ahahah!”

“Well that I could guess.” he drawled, moving to scratch at his ribs, “But your belly isn’t what I’m looking for…”

He squealed and wiggled, batting weakly at Adrians hands, “Stahahahap! It tihihihickles!”

Adrian only chuckled and dug into his underarms, “That’s what it’s supposed to do little ringmaster!”

Gus’s laughter only rose in pitch, it was clearly a bad spot, but noT quite his tickle spot. “EEHEHEHHEHEHE! NOT THEHEHERE!”

“Oh? Not there? Maybe… here then!” Gus shrieked when he felt the fluffy soft tuft of fur on his neck and swiping along his ears. “T-TAHAHAHAHAHILS ARE CHEHEHEHEHEATING!” he squealed, kicking and scrunching up his neck to deter the tickly tool.

Adrian only went faster, his fluffy tail turning the poor kid into a giggly puddle.

“AHAHHAHAHAAHAH! A-AHAHAHADRIAN! S-STAHAHAHAHHAP! PLEEHEHEHEHEASE!” he cackled, pushing at the covenheads tail.

He sighed playfully and rolled his eyes, letting the boy go after a final wiggle behind an ear to make the boy squeal. “Alright, alright. I can be nice. And we still have some training to do before you head off home.” Gus was all but limp, half flopped on Adrians leg, “Just…. Juhuhust a sec…” “Of course, take your time. Just be warned, this isn’t going to be the last time this happens.” Adrian smirked, tickling the kids nose with his tail. Gus giggled and batted at his tail, “Okahahy! Ok! I get it! But I’m pretty formidable myself! You’d better watch your back!”

“I’m shaking in my boots.” he drawled, tasering two fingers into Gus's belly, making him shriek and curl up. “But really, you’re still so young Gus. And with all that’s about to happen… you should savor the moments when you can act your age.”

Gus looked up at Adrian and smiled, hugging around his middle. “I’ll try.” Adrian looked a bit shocked, but hugged him back with a smile. Till he felt tiny hands digging into his sides and he shrieked. “Told you to watch your back!”

#bean answers #gus potter #adrian graye #toh tickle #tickles #tickle fic #good guy adrian au #lee!Gus #Ler!Adrian

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roxannarambles · 2 years

Text

title: second chances (chapter one)

ship: goldenlight (luz x hunter)

notes: takes place sometime after ‘reaching out’ but before ‘hollow mind.’ (set in my standard canon-divergent AU where everything’s the same except no L*mity)

summary: Hunter’s doing his best to get the hang of having Penstagram friends, but there’s still one person in particular he’s hoping to reconnect with . . .

Hunter was propped up in bed that evening, his face buried deep in a book, absorbed in reading about the fascinating worlds of mindscapes. He was so enraptured that when he felt a buzzing in his pocket, he startled with a jerk. Then he remembered the source of the buzzing and retrieved the magic scroll he had carefully tucked away. Cautiously, he opened the scroll and took a peek.

Hello_Willow:

Hey, Caleb. How's it hanging?

His eyes narrowed as he studied the text, and he felt a little spike of anxiety. He wasn't sure what the message meant, and decoding the language that witches used on their magic scrolls was something he was still learning to do. He pecked out a reply on the tiny magic keyboard.

Rulerzreachf4n:

whatdoes thast meean,?

Ugh, the little buttons on the screen were really tiny and incredibly difficult to use. After a few moments, he received a reply.

Hello_Willow:

Just asking how you're doing

He blinked, considering the question. How was he doing?

Hmm. It wasn't really something that he was normally asked. He thought about his day. Most of it had been spent doing rather menial tasks, considering what his rank was. Training drills for the junior scouts, a few dull meetings, some paperwork, a brief patrol. The highlight of the day had been when he saw Kikimora trip in the cafeteria and spill her bowl of bone marrow pudding.

Rulerzreachf4n:

im ok i huess, prettty boring day. howearee you,?

Hello_Willow:

Not too bad. Got my midterm back today and got a perfect score, so I'm pretty happy with that.

Hello_Willow:

Oh also, I think we found a replacement for our team!

Hello_Willow:

For until you can make another game, I mean.

Hello_Willow:

He's pretty great, a bit rusty but a lot of potential, I'm confident we can mold him into a master.

After a brief pause, a photo popped up, showing a skinny boy in Flyer Derby uniform practicing on the field. Hunter studied the image for a moment.

Rulerzreachf4n:

isnthat the kid viney wasd so mad. at?obn the opossing tream?

Hello_Willow:

lol yeah, that's jerbo. she made him take an everlasting oath to remain loyal to our team.

Hello_Willow:

I think the Emerald Entrails are gonna have an amazing season. A shame we'll be missing our powerhouse player for most of it, but I'm sure we'll manage just fine in the meantime 🙂

Hunter spent some time just staring at the message. He was still trying to get used to the idea that other witches actually wanted to talk to him and were nice to him. It was a very alien concept, and part of him was still in disbelief it had happened at all.

Rulerzreachf4n:

goos to hear.good. to hear.

Rulerzreachf4n:

ill be watichng the games and cherringfor you guys

Hello_Willow:

Great! We appreciate the support 🧹 🏆

The text was accompanied with an emoji that looked like a little witch riding a staff, and then a little golden trophy. He had no idea how to make the keyboard produce those little pictures, but it made him chuckle a little when he saw Willow's message.

Setting his scroll down, he leaned further back against the headboard of his bed. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes.

It really had been a very strange couple of days.

Hunter wasn't even sure what to make of it. He had been so incredibly focused on a single goal that day he flew out to Hexside. Nothing else mattered except finding out a way to prove himself worthy of his position, of his title. He was ready to do whatever it took to impress Darius. And then maybe once he impressed Darius, Belos would finally start to see him as useful too. He could make up for all his past mistakes and imperfections.

But along the way, something weird happened. He started to enjoy himself, in his little role as a Hexside student. Actually talking to other witches his age. Getting the chance to do something that was just for fun. Even showing off a little.

He didn't expect to become so invested. He didn't expect to get to know those students, to start caring about what happened to them. They were supposed to just be a means to his ends. Nothing more.

He was so certain. So confident in his position, in his role in life. He was the Golden Guard; the Emperor's right-hand man. Devoted, loyal, unwavering.

And yet, that night, he wavered. Things no longer seemed quite so simple and straightforward. He saw the pain in the eyes of the students he'd hauled in, the pain that he'd put there. And eventually, he stood up for them, shielded them from harm, shielded them from the fate of being bound to the Emperor's Coven.

Everything happened so fast that night, as though he wasn't even sure of what he was doing. His own behavior shocked him. It wasn't like him at all. But he didn't regret it, he realized. Even if Darius had punished him, he would have still done it.

And now, through some bizarre quirk, he had his first real friends. At least, he was pretty sure he did. The gaggle of Hexside students he helped escape could have easily just ignored him and gone back to their lives as usual. And yet, they didn't. They had "followed" him on Penstagram and would send him messages on occasion. They knew exactly what Hunter had done, and yet they still forgave him in the end. Not only that, but they wanted to remain in contact.

Hunter picked up the scroll that was resting on the bed beside him. Flicking through, he brought the page up that had the group photo of their team winning. He smiled faintly, at how happy everyone was, all together in their team uniforms.

"Friends," Hunter muttered, still in awe of such a concept applying to him. With a warm little flutter in his chest, he set the scroll back down and smiled.

But after a few moments, his thoughts strayed to somewhere new.

Friends . . .

His mind flashed to one person in particular. A girl who had occupied his thoughts for many, many weeks, despite all of his efforts to forget about her. He felt the familiar twinge of regret thinking back to her.

I thought you might've been a good guy. But I guess that was just wishful thinking. You're not my friend, you're just the Golden Guard.

It had been such a strange feeling when she'd said it to him, like a knife twisting in his chest. At first, he didn't even understand why it had hurt so much. Why should he care what she thought of him? She was nothing. Just some meddling human who had strayed too far and foolishly blundered into the demon realm.

She was so ridiculous and weird and foolish, running into everything without even thinking. So soft and weak. So . . . strangely good at thinking on her feet and solving problems. So weirdly effective at standing up to him with her own skills. So intriguing and different. So footloose and fancy-free. So wild. So unlike anyone he'd ever met before.

So willing to reach out, even to a person like him.

Hunter had tried to forget about her. But he couldn't seem to shake her from his mind. During the day, it was easy enough. He could occupy his mind with his duties, keep his thoughts disciplined and rigorously in check. At night, though, when the hour grew late and his body was weary, his mind would always wander. And he would think of her.

She was the first person who had ever really tried to understand him sincerely. To treat him like something other than merely a means to some an end or an adversary to defeat. She had treated him like . . . like his thoughts and feelings mattered. That fateful night, he had found himself responding to it, and he'd ended up telling her things he'd never should have, but the words had tumbled out of him anyway. He found himself wanting to trust her. Wanting her to know him. And wanting to know her, too. Perhaps for the very first time, wanting a genuine friend.

He had turned on her though, the first moment opportunity had arrived-- ever the loyal soldier. And so he crushed the opportunity of friendship to dust.

Hunter huffed in disgust at himself, crossing his arms. He laid here now in his room and had the gall to wonder if she still might consider being his friend. To dare have that hope. To think, just because he'd gained friendship with some students who were also her friends, that they might somehow sway her. What a selfish, stupid thing to hope for.

He was better off without her, anyhow. It was just too complicated. She made him question so many things. He'd barely spent any time with her at all, and yet even with the briefest of contacts, she'd somehow gotten into his head and never gotten back out. He was indulging in reading more and more about wild magic, he was bonded to a palisman. He was doubting the ways the Emperor’s Coven was running things, he was questioning and hesitating and even defying the Coven, in small little ways that were adding up.

Hunter pressed his hands against his face, closing his eyes and rubbing them. It was late, and his thoughts were dancing along a dangerous path again like they often did at this hour. Playing back the memories-- the melodic lilt of her laughter, the mischievous glint in her gold-brown eyes, the silly little smile when she'd leaned in and spoke excitedly to him about wild magic.

Could she ever . . . consider him a friend?

"Stop it," Hunter mumbled to himself, trying to extinguish the glimmer of hope flickering inside him.

There was a gentle buzzing sound from beside him.

He leaned back up and picked the scroll up. It was a new message from Willow.

Hello_Willow:

btw I gave your contact info to Luz, hope you don't mind

Hello_Willow:

she was asking about you earlier

Hunter felt all the air exit his lungs. Frantically, his fingers tapped the little keyboard.

Rulerzreachf4n:

wwswaitwhrt

Rulerzreachf4n:

what

Rulerzreachf4n:

ewhat was she askijng?

He stared intensely at the screen as he waited for Willow to type out a reply.

Hello_Willow:

Kinda everything, she freaked out when she learned about our little adventure on wednesday

Hello_Willow:

She wanted me to tell her everything that happened and what I thought of you and everything you said and stuff

Hello_Willow:

oh and she kept asking for the videos of our game

"Uhh," Hunter grunted, trying to keep his pounding heart under control. What did that mean? Did that mean anything? Oh, Titan, was she actually going to contact him?

Rulerzreachf4n:

duid she seem mad ir somejing?

Hello_Willow:

Mad? No, I don't think so

Hello_Willow:

More like, surprised

Ok, ok. Surprised wasn't bad, necessarily. Honestly, it didn't tell him a lot, though. He made a frustrated noise.

Hello_Willow:

Should I not have told her?

He quickly reassured her.

Rulerzreachf4n:

n o its fine,.

After a few minutes, he received another reply.

Hello_Willow:

Ok.

Hello_Willow:

Well I have an early day tomorrow so I'll talk to you later, Caleb

Rulerzreachf4n:

Hunter tried not to let it bother him, but he had more than a little difficulty falling asleep that night.

Next morning, after smacking the tiny demon that acted as his alarm clock to silence it, he grumbled and rolled over, not really feeling keen to leap out of bed at the crack of dawn like usual. A few minutes later there was a buzzing from his nightstand. Tiredly, he reached over to check it.

Hello_Willow:

Good morning!

Hello_Willow:

Clover was looking real cute so I had to share 😊

There was a picture of the little bee creature sleeping in its own tiny bed. He had to admit, it was pretty cute. Not as cute as Flapjack, of course.

Crawling out of bed and stretching, he was about to grab his cape off his chair, but noticed Flapjack curled up adorably inside it. His heart melting, he grabbed his scroll and snapped several pictures.

Then he messed about with the scroll, trying to figure out how to send the photo to Willow. While he was in the midst of trying to work this out, the scroll buzzed and a new message popped up. It wasn't from Willow, though. Hunter opened it.

THEOWLLADY:

Are you good now?

THEOWLLADY:

Is Belos evil?? You can tell me!

THEOWLLADY:

Also hi!

THEOWLLADY:

It's Luz!

Hunter balked, his heart leaping as he read the words, immediately falling into a panic. Oh Titan, it was her, what-- what should he say?

Luz proceeded to bombard him with a series of emoji.

THEOWLLADY:

👻⛈️🌸☘️🌈

THEOWLLADY:

🦖✨🎉💥🦇

He felt his face warm and he quickly grew irritated with himself. This was ridiculous, she was just-- this was-- this was too much, it was too early in the morning for him to deal with this human! And who did she think she was, talking to him like they were old buddies or whatever?

His fingers fumbled as he tried to type.

Rulerzreachf4n:

LEAVE.ME ALONE

In his rush to reply, he accidentally sent the picture of Flapjack to her. Embarassed, he struggled with the keyboard to salvage the mistake.

Rulerzreachf4n:

sORry.wrong.person.,.

A few seconds later (how did she type so fast??) Luz answered back,

THEOWLLADY:

Omg he's ADORABLE!! lookit the cutie wootie lil rascal birbie baby boyy~~~

Hunter glared at the scroll, writing a response.

Rulerzreachf4n:

thaT's NOT His naME1!

Rulerzreachf4n:

hiS nanes is flapjack

He waited for several moments before he received an abrupt reply.

THEOWLLADY:

sorry hunter gtg for now something came up

THEOWLLADY:

talk to u later 😄😄😄

And that was it. He stared at his scroll for a little while, feeling confused and annoyed. Seriously? She was just gonna drop that on him and leave? What was even going through her head?

Hunter's alarm demon started shrieking again, and he jerked in surprise. Reaching over, he whacked it into silence again. Damnit, he always forgot when he left that thing on snooze.

Dropping the scroll, he sighed and rubbed his face. He had things to do, he needed to forget about this nonsense.

He didn't receive another message from her until two days later. It arrived in the early evening, when Hunter had just gotten off his patrol shift. He read it after he'd reached his room and removed his armor and gear.

THEOWLLADY:

Hey Hunter, it's Luz. I wanted to apologize for the other day

THEOWLLADY:

I wasn't really in the greatest mindset at the time I texted you

THEOWLLADY:

And I thought about it later and realized how it probably came off

THEOWLLADY:

probably looked like the only reason I wanted to talk to you was so I could use you for information

THEOWLLADY:

and that was really crappy of me. I'm sorry.

He sat down on the foot of his bed, and the scroll soon buzzed again.

THEOWLLADY:

anyway. willow told me about the whole flyer derby thing.

There was a long pause, the window displaying a series of three dots that indicated she was in the middle of typing. Then, after all that waiting, the message that popped up was rather short.

THEOWLLADY:

you guys looked really cool out there

Hunter gazed at his scroll for a very long time, feeling conflicted and overwhelmed. He had no idea how to proceed with the conversation-- or if he even wanted to reply.

All right, that last part was a lie. Of course he wanted to reply. But with what?

The scroll buzzed in his hands.

THEOWLLADY:

it was nice seeing you look so happy. you have a nice smile

Hunter swallowed, his face growing a little warm. More messages quickly followed.

THEOWLLADY:

anyway aahgain sorry aboutbefore

THEOWLLADY:

I'm gonna go have dinner,see you around I guess

THEOWLLADY:

or not, you're not obligated to answer or anything

THEOWLLADY:

so. yeah. bye

The scroll fell silent after that. Hunter tried for a while to formulate some sort of reply, but eventually he gave up and chickened out. He went back to his evening and tried to put it out of his mind. Somehow, he was able to do so pretty successfully.

Until the hour grew very late. It was 1:20am when Hunter finished his nightly reading and found his mind swimming in thoughts. He stared at the scroll sitting on his bed for a while, internally debating with himself.

Eventually, he reached out and grabbed it, flicking open the messenger window and typing.

He had a little more practice now with the awkward keyboard, so he was able to produce clearer messages, thankfully.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I didnt mean for itn to happen

Rulerzreachf4n:

I was just tryong to recruit some stidents to please my superiors

Rulerzreachf4n:

I dodnt expect it tobe...

Rulerzreachf4n:

kinda fun. didnt expect to get tto know them.

He paused for a moment. He didn't think Luz would be awake at this hour, and honestly, that was a blessing. He wanted to get it all out before he changed his mind.

Rulerzreachf4n:

Iwas going to turn them in anyway.

Rulerzreachf4n:

except. this time,I realized how stupid I was being.

Rulerzreachf4n:

when i was standing there, looking at them in the cell

Rulerzreachf4n:

at how hurt and betrayed they looked, i remembered the last time Id done that.

Rulerzreachf4n:

how much i s crewed things up.

Rulerzreachf4n:

so I tried to fix it before it was too late.

Rulerzreachf4n:

and. somehow they forgave me. orat least, i think they did.

Rulerzreachf4n:

so i giess I have friends.now.

Rulerzreachf4n:

i guess.whatever that means. im still not sure.

He stopped typing, his mind drifting on recent events. He was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to even realize that the little 'busy' dots had appeared on-screen. His eyes widened. A few moments later, messages appeared.

THEOWLLADY:

I'm glad you finally found some people you could connect with. that's honestly really cool.

THEOWLLADY:

i probably did a pretty lousy job at trying to reach out to you, anyway. but I'm glad you found people you really vibe with.

Hunter felt that now-familiar sensation; guilt and regret twisting in his chest like a knife. In the past, he'd always ignored it, but tonight was going to be different. He wasn't going to ignore it this time.

Before he could think the better of it, he started tapping on the scroll and just kept going.

Rulerzreachf4n:

no, you dont get it. thats not it at all.

Rulerzreachf4n:

titan, you have no idea. i think about that day in latissa so much.

Rulerzreachf4n:

youre like no one i've ever met before. and. everything changed atfer that day. i .

Rulerzreachf4n:

i started quetstioning everything and.

Rulerzreachf4n:

you were right about the palismen. i was an idiot. they aree alive. they're not just mindless tools.

Rulerzreachf4n:

they have souls. and youre, the first person to make me stop and think like that.

Rulerzreachf4n:

but not just that, the first person i actually....

Rulerzreachf4n:

i dont know, the first one i felt i really wanted to truist and get to know

Rulerzreachf4n:

but i threw it all away like an idiot.

He looked at his own messages, surprised he'd vomited all that information out.

Well. If he was being honest, he may as well go all the way.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'm sorry. I stole those palismen, i took that key, i did all that stuff just so i could get belos' approval. didnt stop to think about who it was hurting.

Rulerzreachf4n:

it was for the greater good, buit. i didn't even try to figure out if there were other ways to do it., ways that could abvoid hurting others like that

Rulerzreachf4n:

i'm not looking for forgiveness,. I just wanted you to know i'm sorry.

After that, he put the scroll down, deciding he'd better stop before he spilled his guts even more. He hoped Luz would simply ignore him, because that would be the easiest outcome. He'd wake up tomorrow and just go about his day.

However, the scroll buzzed again after a minute or two. He was afraid to look.

THEOWLLADY:

hey so um about that

THEOWLLADY:

you said you threw away your chance to be friends, but.

THEOWLLADY:

what if I just....give you another one?

He stared at the messages, puzzled.

Rulerzreachf4n:

what?

She clarified quickly.

THEOWLLADY:

A second chance at your first friend, you know?

THEOWLLADY:

How's that sound?

He felt his heart squeeze in his chest, but it seemed far too good to be true. People like him didn't get second chances. They didn't deserve them.

Still, after gazing at her texts for a while, he replied with nervous fingers.

Rulerzreachf4n:

do you really mean that?

She answered immediately.

THEOWLLADY:

yeah. I do.

He was tempted to just agree to it; oh, how he was tempted. But he knew things weren't as simple as she was making them to be. Swallowing the bitter feeling in this throat, he carefully wrote out his answer.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I don't think you get it. I'm still the Golden Guard. I can't give that up, I still think Belos is building a better future for everyone. i dont agree with everything he does but. i'm not gonna betray him. Would you still want to be my friend, knowing that?

He waited tensely in silence for her answer. When it came, however, it wasn't what he expected.

THEOWLLADY:

I understand.

THEOWLLADY:

I don't think he has the good of others in mind, but I accept that we disagree on that.

THEOWLLADY:

I won't try to force you to change.

THEOWLLADY:

like, full disclosure, I still will talk about Belos, but I won't try to force you to change your mind.

His brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend her perspective. Was it really that simple? It didn't make a lot of sense to him. How could she consider him a friend when he still was technically her enemy?

He thought about it for a while, and realized the other Hexside students he'd befriended had basically already done the same thing. Perhaps he just didn't understand friendship very well.

Eventually, despite his nervousness over the whole situation, he decided he wasn't going to turn down his second chance. Not this time.

He awkwardly typed out a reply.

Rulerzreachf4n:

ok,well. then i guess..I guess if you really want to. it would be ok with me to. be friends.

The human followed up with an explosion of colorful emoji, the screen scrolling to accomodate all the pictures, before answering with a normal text.

THEOWLLADY:

awesome!! ok so as your new bestie I must tell you that the name of your palisman is the most adorable thing to ever exist ohmygod FLAPJACK I LOVE IT you made his name a PUN and an amazing one!

THEOWLLADY:

seriously. it's so good.

A little thrown off by the sudden topic switch, he took a moment to process.

Rulerzreachf4n:

well I didnt actually name him

Rulerzreachf4n:

he told me that was his na,me

Rulerzreachf4n:

I actuallydont even know what a flapjack is

Rulerzreachf4n:

i asked belos and he said itwas a kind of pancake?

She seemed to be incredibly tickled with this.

THEOWLLADY:

wait seriously?? oh man, hunter, we need to make you some

THEOWLLADY:

when you visit I'll make you some pancakes, they're so good, it's like a human delicacy

THEOWLLADY:

might take me a bit to find the right flour in the demon realm but I know I can do it

Hunter fumbled with the keyboard, typing out,

I cant.really, well. I'm not.

He erased it and started again, flustered.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I cant just go and visit you, people wouldnotice

THEOWLLADY:

Oh right right, sorry, didn't mean to overstep

THEOWLLADY:

No worries, we can do it at some point in the theoretical future when the whole island isnt in the grips of uhhh. all that repressive regime stuff etc etc

THEOWLLADY:

Or hey I can send you the recipe, it's really easy!

Hunter groaned, feeling like he was getting emotional whiplash talking to this girl. He wondered if he would regret agreeing to all of this.

THEOWLLADY:

it's weird that your palisman's named after a human thing though, now that I think about it

THEOWLLADY:

did he tell you anything about his previous witch? were they the one who named him?

THEOWLLADY:

ah crap sorry if that's prying or anything

THEOWLLADY:

I'm just very curious, you can tell me if I'm asking too many questions

The thing of it was, she was right. It was strange, and it had been something he'd wondered about.

Rulerzreachf4n:

When I asked him about his previous witchj, hedidnt want to talk about it

Rulerzreachf4n:

I think it's kind of painful for him to think about.

THEOWLLADY:

oh, I see. that makes sense. most of the palismen the bat queen takes care of probably have some pretty painful memories.

THEOWLLADY:

well, I'm glad he found you. he seems happy.

Hunter smiled faintly, glancing over at the palisman snoozing on his bedpost.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'm glad too.

After a few minutes, he received a few final messages for the night.

THEOWLLADY:

Well I'm gonna try to get some sleep, but it was nice talking to you.

THEOWLLADY:

See you later, Hunter.

He gazed hesitantly at the scroll, still surprised at how the evening had turned out. Was this something that would actually last? He had no idea.

But in the moment, he decided to be hopeful.

Rulerzreachf4n:

yeah.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'll see you later.

Part Two

#toh #the owl house #goldenlight #lunter #huntceda #goldenluz #luz x hunter #hunter x luz #goldenlight fanfic

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 1 year

Text

Shower Sh*tshow.

[Half an hour later...]

*The sound of the steady shower stream fills the air, warm water washing over Kaede’s body.

You know, it’s a shame that you don’t have any clean clothes to change into once you get out. Not much point having a shower if you’re just gonna put sweaty dirty clothes back on.

My clothes are fine. They’ll last me for a long while yet...But yeah, maybe I should get some new clothes after I get out.

Maybe you could do with a wardrobe change?

What’s wrong with my current outfit?

Nothing in particular...It’s just that...if you’re going to be fighting, you might want to wear something more combat oriented.

I’m not about to make it a habit to go looking for fights Sora.

I know, I know...But we both know that so long as Shirogane resents you so much, they’re gonna keep coming to you.

...

*Kaede clothes are folded up comfortably on the sink counter, with her phone, and by extension Sora, sitting quietly on top of them. Kaede finishes up her shower and steps out of the booth, procuring a towel and starts to dry herself.

...!

...What?

Those are some nice abs you have girl~ I could do my laundry on them.

HUH!?

You’re more ripped than I thought! Hey, you should show a little tummy skin more. Everyone would go crazy.

Wh-What are you saying!? A-Are you trying to flirt with me!?

We’re both taken, plus you couldn’t handle me as a girlfriend for more than an hour.

Words kinda just popped in my mouth, that’s all.

“That’s all?” *sigh* Well, looking is free I guess, so knock yourself out.

You’re not very modest are you?

Now you’re complaining about it? You literally just used a dude’s pickup line on me.

Just saying...You’re the type of girl who if someone catches a glimpse of your panties, you’d be like “Ah well, they can’t UN-see it.”

Uh...yeah, actually, that’s actually happened to me.

Oh! Guess I’m pretty good at reading character then?

Just...let me get dressed.

*Kaede moves Sora off her clothes and starts to put them back on.

Actually...while we’re talking about it...

Kaede, can I ask you something? Why is it that Tsumugi Shirogane resents you in particular.

We figured out pretty quickly that this lockdown specifically happened to trap you. What...exactly did you do to her?

...I wish I could tell you...

The only thing I can think of is something that happened back during the Killing Game.

I do think I know bits and pieces of this story, but I’ve never heard it in full before...

Ok...Basically, the first motive for the V3 Killing Game was called the “First Blood Perk.” It had two conditions to it.

Firstly, if someone committed a murder, they’d be able to leave the school without a class trial if they came forward about it.

And two, if no one committed a murder, Monokuma would use these large robots called Exisals to tear us to pieces.

That seems...unfair.

Tell me about it...I’ve told you before about how I planned to expose and trap the Mastermind with the shotput ball? Well, Rantaro was also concocting his own plan.

The green haired guy who helped me get in here?

Yeah, that one. Once we were starting to run out of time for the First Blood Perk almost up, Tsumugi went to a hidden room in the library by making use of the hidden passageway in that bathroom. In the back of the cleaning supplies closet in the girls bathroom on the first floor was a hidden passageway that connected to the secret room in the library, the same secret room that Rantaro was attempting to gain access to, believing the Mastermind to be in there due to his Survivor Perk Monopad.

Thanks to the Nanokumas swarming all over the campus...

Uh, those are basically just tiny security cameras...

Tsumugi already knew of both mine and Rantaro's separate plans to end the Killing Game and watched from the hidden room to ensure everything went as planned.

She hoped that my plan to kill her would result in Rantaro's death instead, killing two birds with one stone. But my plan failed, and my shotput missed Rantaro.

After witnessing this, Tsumugi immediately left the hidden room and bludgeoned Rantaro in the back of the head with her own shot put while he was distracted by mine that just barely missed him She then proceeded to alter the evidence to make it look like the crime was caused by the shot put I rolled.

I was framed for a crime I didn’t commit...and then I was executed.

Huh...I’m not seeing much of a connection.

Sure, she would have eventually been exposed for this false execution, but I don’t see why she’s so resentful. If anything, having framed you for the crime, YOU’RE the one who has the right to be angry.

I’m definitely angry about it...But I’m more focused on everything else she’s done; how many innocent people she’s hurt.

And I’m not going to just lay down and die here. She’ll never get her way if I have anything to say about it.

Good girl!

???: Yeah, good girl!

!!!??

???: Oops...

*Kaede and Sora’s blood suddenly runs cold, as they hear a third voice join them in the shower.

Who’s there!?

???: GEHEHEHE! Why don’t you come find me...?

*All of a sudden, all the previously open doors to the shower all slam shut simultaneously.

Kaede...!

...!

*Kaede puts down her clothes for a second, then approaches the set of doors.

*CRASH!*

*She furiously kicks the first one open. She doesn’t see anyone or anything inside.

???: Gehehe...I’ve been waitin’ for this!

*SLAM!*

*She kicks open the second one.

???: You’re getting waaarmer~

Enough of this! Just come out! You’re creeping me out!

*WHAM!*

*A third door is kicked open.

???: That’s the plan! You’re hot as a pancake right now, Gehaha!

...!

*Kaede gulps as she approaches the fourth and final stall.

*SLAM!*

...!?

*She kicks it open, only to see that like all the others...no one is inside.

...?

*She narrows her eyes and looks around the stall for any sign of the voice...But then...

ABOVE YOU!!

HUH!?

REEEAAAGGH!

*SLASH!*

EEGH!?

*Monokid lunges downwards after clinging on the ceiling at Kaede! She moves in time with Sora’s shout, but his claw still nicks her shoulder.

Hrgh!

O...Oh...crap...

*She sticks out her arm to call her weapon when she suddenly realizes she isn’t wearing the glove it’s paired with, preventing her from using it. Monokid rolls on the floor and starts dancing around.

GEHAHAHA! EXTREME! I KNEW the plan would work!

Wait until the lil’ floozy’s disarmed and then STRIKE! This bear’s hungry and I’m gonna eat you up for-!

HAAAGH!

*KER-POW!*

GRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGH!!

*SMASH!*

*Monokid doesn’t finish his sentence, as Kaede rushes forward and kicks Monokid. The impact is so strong he flies to the other end of the shower room and smashes into the wall.

Ow OW OW! Oooh that hurt! OHOOHOGH!

*Kaede jumps on one leg, clutching her badly stubbed toe.

Well, what did you expect? You just kicked a hunk of metal and you’re not wearing shoes.

Not helpful Sora...

RAAWRR!

GRGH!

*Monokid recovers then jumps onto Kaede, who holds up her arms and grabs him by the face before he can bite into her flesh.

GNASH GNASH GNASH!

Huuugh!

*The two tangle for a while, with Monokid attempting to bite down on Kaede with his sharp gnashers, and Kaede using all her strength to keep him away.

BOOM-CHICKA-AH! BOOM-CHICKA-AH! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM-

What are you doing!?

I’m trying to amp you up!

Well, you’re distracting!

HIYAGH!

*POW!*

GAAHAGCK

OH SHIT MUTHAFUCKAAAAH!

*Monokid suddenly pushes himself off Kaede into the air, then smacks her backwards with his guitar. Kaede falls backwards and lands on her back.

Ah!?

ROOOAARR!

EEGH! NGH! DAGH! DAGH! DAGH!

OOGH! AAGH! EEE!

*Monokid wastes no time and pounces on top of Kaede once again, putting his guitar behind his back and instead lunging at her with a pair of sharp claws. Kaede catches his claws, and pushes his attacks to the side, using the brief opportunity to elbow and punch him in the face.

HIYAGH!

DOOUGH! HOYAYAYAYAYAYAYAGH!

Huh!? GUHUGH!

*CRASH!*

*Kaede coils into a ball position, then thrusts Monokid off him using her feet. As she pulls herself up into a sitting position however, Monokid bounces off the walls of the bathroom and tackles into her, knocking her through the shower doors and into one of the stalls! The impact sends the door swinging shut.

KAEDE!

YEAH! I GOT A ROCK-HARD RAAAAAGERRR!

COME ON! I know you ain’t done yet! Let’s go, round 2 babygirl!

...

Uh...Akamatsu...? I didn’t kill ya’ already, did I?

*When no sound comes from the stall Kaede got knocked into, Monokid cautiously approaches the door and opens it.

Helloooo?

*SUCK!*

MRRPGG! GRRRPHH!

*Against his expectations, Kaede bursts out of nowhere, armed with a plunger! She suctions Monokid’s face and lifts him up defenselessly into the air with it.

HRRPPH! HRRPPH! I CNGH BRRRVE!

Maybe THIS will shut you up! HIYAGH!

*CRASH!*

DOUGH!

*SLAM!* *SLAM!* *SLAM!* *SLAM!*

RAGH!

*SMAAASH!*

UHUGH!

*SUCK!* ERYAGH!

*SMASH!*

OOOPH!

*With Monokid at the plunger’s mercy, Kaede plunges him into the wall, smashing his body multiple times into it. She then wheels around and smashes him into one of the bathroom mirrors! The force dislodges Monokid from the plunger, but Kaede suctions him again, and smashes him into the sinks!

Wait...WAAIT!

HIYAAAAAAAAAAGGH!

*SMAASSH!* *SPLAATTEERR!* *CHUNK!*

!!!??

*As Monokid rises, he clutches onto the counter. Not giving him a second to recover, Kaede reels back and curbstomps him into the sink. The angle and impact is perfect, and the room explodes with pieces of metal and fake blood, as the edge of the sink severs Monokid’s jaw almost completely from his body!

...

HOLY SHIT, I KILLED HIM! HOLY SHIT, YOU KILLED HIM!

//Monokid...has died...

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa another 2 #sdra2 #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #kaede akamatsu #sora #monokid #death #rise and shine arc

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tutuandscoot · 1 year

Text

SD: Prince - 2017 World Championships, Helsinki Finland

Here we go it’s time for the VM fandom favourite!

I can only speak for myself here and what I’ve seen others say- this is certainly way up there with the fave VM SD/OD’s- maybe with Farrucas- like it’s the Farrucas of the comeback. (Imo Farrucas is in a league of its own). I’ve already said SFTD is by far my fave SD, maybe program all together, Prince just isn’t quite it for me, especially in comparing the two from the comeback. However I can certainly see why so many fans love it- not to say I don’t, it’s just not my fave. So in this break down I will explain what I love about it, highlight some of the details, but I also be honest about why it’s not my fave- it mostly has to do with the rhythm/s in general and how hip hop transfers to ice- not necessarily this specific program.

Firstly let’s do a costume appreciation:

T’s catsuit is iconic! A lot of times with their costumes they are very simple, but sometimes they have costumes where I find either together they don’t quitttteeee match- which in a weird way I love, and then differently but also in a similar respect there’s a tiny bit too much going on in the one costume. There aren’t too many instances of this second thing but that’s what I find with this catsuit- there’s quite a lot going on but it all works somehow. The flesh leg cut outs should clash with the purple lace, but for some reason they don’t. I don’t know what else you could have if the cut outs weren’t there, you would think plain black would work just fine and not clash but the cut outs are maybe my fave part of it. It’s a weird concept but it’s amazing (and I’m not the biggest fan of mathiu’s costumes so this is a big complement). She wears it so well. I remember them saying that in creating this Prince themed SD that it was finding this delicate balance of masculine and feminine fluidly between the two of them and I think with her costume they really achieve that both in the way she wears it and the way Scott interacts with her in. His costume is great too, in contrast to her’s his is very simple. I firmly believe his simple aesthetic is both a comfort and confidence factor for him as well as not to distracting from T because she is his star and its his job to make her shine (his own words). While the all black and silhouette of it is simple he has kinda of stepped out of his comfort zone here with more sparkles and adornments with that first one then his new one for worlds was even a step up from that (personally I prefer the first one though).

Just before we jump into the program I’m gonna give some appreciation to the pre dance ‘let’s do this/you got this kiddo’ tushie tap!

What’s really sweet about this is it was different every time. At NHK it was more on the side of the leg before she turned around and was kinda softer. When you know what was going on in the background- personally for him/them at this comp you see everything differently and understand that Scott was just so emotionally distraught and wanted nothing more than to just look in Tessa’s eyes to know everything was gonna be ok. So this little tap was so gentle and like a little ‘thank you for taking care of me’ and acknowledging all the strength she was giving him to be able to get through this.

GPF was more ‘swaggery’ like ‘oh yeh we got this’ after she’d turned around like an actual tushie tap to hype her up. There’s no shame here in saying this is TESSA’s DANCE! So every time there’s that little tap tap! there’s always a sense like ‘you got this and I’m gonna be here every step of the way helping you shine’ ✨. The vibes were similar at 4CC, but I would say a bit cheekier. The hands rubbing together and the scrunchie smile then the tap is just so precious like ‘oh yeh let’s go’ like he’s almost giggling. Lastly I’m using the one from the practice at worlds coz the performance is kinda hard to see, again every time slightly different but always the intention is that ‘you got this kiddo’.

I won’t say it’s pure functionality of the tushie tap but how they set themselves up- he sets the position- T waits for him to stop then steps in and as they turn around she sets herself using his hips to line herself up. Seen obviously in the practice one they don’t use that adjustment to pull themselves together to touch, but it’s just to know spatially their positions, and so the tushie tap can be both these things of hyping her up and once she’s set he can feel where she is also. There’s nothing ‘dirty’ about it- I really hate when people overly sexualise their interactions. It’s functional and a little connection moment for them and that’s great!

1. Opening

So this just got progressively better and better all season to the point here at worlds it was just fire 🔥. If you compare this to SCI or NHK it’s light years difference. It’s not that earlier on it looks like they weren’t trying/putting enough energy in, or worlds was too much, it was more finding the right dynamics. Earlier on their was less bounce in esp T’s knees and upper body. It was a bit more ‘posing’ where as here she was more in the groove of it. I love how this last time, that very first movement she does they changed that to her facing left and Scott comes out from behind her (it looks reallllllyyy good in slow motion). It got way better with the voguing/whacking style. Hip hop is difficult for those not naturally suited to it (in TS’s case having a strong classical foundation its harder to let go) and then even harder to do on ice, so it’s really great how in this opening they were able to really quite convincingly move in that style with their whole bodies- not letting the ice be too much of a limiting factor.

This opening sets the tone of who’s dance this is. This is T’s dance- she has to own it right from the start. It’s such a testament to their superiority as a team that they can have programs that can be completely both of them are the focus (sometimes this can be both and switch throughout the program, eg MR), programs that are more Scott’s, and like with Prince the focus is T- but throughout all those different things, Scott is always going his job in showing T off, it just varies in different dance styles/stories. And no program is weaker or stronger based on who is the ‘main dancer’ in it. This was a common thing in ice dance from the late 90’s/early 00’s and even in TS early senior career that there were quite a ew teams where every program it was the gild doing all the hard stuff and drawing the attention and the man was just there to lift. Other teams the girl could’ve hold the attention and focus where she should in the partnership.

What this opening also does is it really sets the tone of the program in general. I made a post in the early days of this blog around the time of the olympics where MB was the set style (same as this season so hip hop, blues, jive, swing, etc were optional styles along with the MB set pattern), highlighting my issues with hip hip being an optional rhythm. As I stated above it’s a difficult style to both transfer to ice and a difficult style in general if your body/s don’t naturally move that way. By the time the Beijing olys came around there was more variety in the ‘hip hop’ genre but in the 16/17 season, it being the first time it was used for a SD, there were mostly very generic ‘hip hop’ styles and music used. Lots of ‘top 40 hits’ and just very typical songs, costumes and ‘dance moves’ when you think hip hop. I said in that original post that it really shows just how few ice dancers are natural ‘dancers’. This of course varies between each viewer and which team/s connects with you- a team I feel aren’t natural dancers/ aren’t feeling the music may vary to your taste. Hip hop really shows who isn’t musical and doesn’t have a natural rhythm about them because unlike ballroom where the form and musicality is more strict, in the steps if one partner is weaker that can be hidden, in hip hop its very obvious who doesn’t have that natural feel and in some cases which teams are really over doing it. That’s why I don’t like hip hop being an optional rhythm. In this 16/17 season especially among the teams dancing ‘hip hop’ it became so much about the ‘hip hop’ of it all and less about the skating. Of course what I’m gonna say here is how VM are the exception to this and it’s because of a few things: They are naturally musical and they both have a natural movement to them. Hip Hop is certainly imo not their natural style but they chose music and a sub-style of hip hop that worked for them. Where they could still have their posture and arm carriage. Another thing is they can move phenomenally both together and separately. This is super obvious in comparing the non-touch step sequences where in other teams the arms become very robotic and the facial expressions become very rehearsed. The last thing is the music they chose- specifically ‘Kiss’ the first song, isnt a typical ‘hip hop’ song, either if you’re thinking of the hip hop style of the 80’s/90’s or currently. As I said in the first point it met the hip hop requirements of rhythm and style, but was specific to they moved. They were in control of the program, they addapted it to them and their strengths where as most let the style own them. (Here’s some links to more info about ‘waacking and voguing styles if you aren’t familar with them and how they fit into ‘hip hop’ as a dance style). Just quickly to finish, i said what made VM both stand out and not be overwhelmed by the style was they chose something not so broad- they chose a more stylised take on hip hop, in the 22oly season I feel this got taken a bit too far to the extreme edges of hip hop and to the point where it was really just ‘free style’ (esp the majority of the top teams). Same thing with the plethora of complaints about the abuse of the set pattern requirements (which I’m sure partly read to the removal of the set pattern all together coz just no one was doing it properly the judges were too busy being paid off in back room deals to care (rip ISU judging) (compulsory/ set patterns dies with VM don’t @ me).

I’m also just gonna give a shout out to one of my fave bits of VM commentary which is from the BESP uncles: 20 secs into the program one of them says “Well they’ve won it already for me”. 😌😌 And I also love how the audience starts clapping in time immediately!

2. Dance transitions, style, perfomance

Something really significant about this SD is all the in between moments between elements is what makes it so good. The elements themselves are all phenomenal, from the way they work with the music and and the layout of the program, the way TS perform each of them and blend them in to the performance as a whole- not just checking them off as they go, and of course their technical superiority. But in studying this program what really makes it amazing for me is all the in between moments getting into and out of each element- so much so that you don’t really notice the elements until they are already it them (in the best way possible)

This all starts as soon as they begin travelling out of the first opening dance break. What imo makes them so good beyond examining their skating skills is their ability to actually dance everything they do. I’ve said hat before but I find it particularly obvious in the SD considering what I’ve just said before in regards to my issues with this being a rhythm. In full competition video on YT, in between groups when the ice is being resurfaced, the camera cuts to TS practicing back stage- the specific part they are practicing is after the NTMSS, and you can hear T say ‘dance this part’. So thats so important to me that they are thinking like that- a) because I just love them for being dancers and actually fulfilling the ‘DANCE’ part of the sport, and b) that they are reminding each other of that- to really dance and perform.

So you immediately see that dancing as soon as they start travelling. The way they just ‘sit in the pocket’ of that beat and hit every 4 and 8 count with a head or hip or accent in their knees. The choreography is also just really intricate- like I think that is really overlooked- even for me from a dancers perspective I can usually pick up on those more subtle moments but only just now studying it a bit more (say compared to SFTD which I’ve watched over and over and over) I’m picking up on the small moments and their interactions together- that actually how I like thinking of their programs sometimes, esp from the comeback- that they are really having these interactions and conversations through their movement. I don’t know how much this (the dance detail) is really valued in the judging- probably not as much as it should be, but it’s so much harder then it looks to skate with the difficulty that they do then put all this really intricate choreography on top of that.

I mentioned with the costumes earlier that focus they had on the contrast between the masculinity and femininity in this program, and how the choreography, costumes and them interacting with each other plays into that. There’s a little moment in this first section as they come towards the centre/front, it’s right on/after the lyrics ‘turn me on’, they face each other- look each other in the eye, then so sensually she puts her hand on his chest, she looks away and he caresses her arse as she twists to the right and he looks to the judges. As I said I hate when people over sexualise what they do as if it’s some tease and they are playing into some kind of game. NO. It’s the style of the dance, it’s the choreography, it’s them dancing together and putting on a performance, nothing more. I love this moment because it plays right into what they said about exploring the sexuality of the movement and style. They can do something like this and not have it be cringe (by cringe I mean him feeling her up for the sake of it) because of their trust and confidence in one another. The confidence they have in each other and in their own performance to be able to play with the judges and the audience in a moment like this. It’s what so many great performers do- like Prince himself- he flirted with the flow of sexuality in his performances and persona. That TS feel they can explore that together artistically is what puts them on a higher level within their sport. She owns it like she loves it, he owns it like he loves it, and the fact is it’s such a quick moment you barely notice it. Also musicality of this moment is so great- so they hit the sharp 4 count, then long and drawn out over the next two counts- so working with the syncompation of the music. You listen to the lyrics in this first song and again without distastefully over-sexualising each other, its this very subtle thing that sits within the body of the program. Its more in their eyes and musicality- rhythm m together rather then big showy, obvious moments.

Then as they continue moving across the ice to get into the NTMSS the phenomenal musicality continues. I just love the syncopation and intricacy of those jump steps then intertwining each other before starting the sequence. Also how can you NOT love that moment where he looks to her and kinda teases her and she slaps his face to the side. You just know they love that moment as well- she loves “slapping” him and probably loves her slapping him (you know they’re just cute and flirty like that). (Also this version isn’t the best angle for all these moments so I’ll link all the other versions below).

3. NTMSS

So here’s were I’m gonna contradict myself a bit on this quite niche hip hop style they had, because as they get into this midline chore there is a bit more “hip hop” (typical) kind of arm movements. This isn’t a bad thing i just don’t want to catch my self out saying it is wholey this one niche hip op style, there defiantly is that groove and loose groundedness throughout this first section (Kiss). The beat part about this step sequence for me is the musicality. The syncopation, hitting the beats, picking out parts of the music you wouldn’t think to. When the change to face each other/aren’t doing the exact same steps as in the first half, contrasting those quicker, more on every beat steps by playing with the music and using more drawn out glides. There is such a connection between the what the upper and lower body is dong- it’s not like skating on the bottom and ‘dancing’ on top. This is essentially just really good coordination but agin in the style and feel of the music rather then generic chore and musicality

In saying this is T’s dance does not mean Scott can take a back seat- he owns it just as much as she does. This program is great because it really lets their individual personalities shine while complementing each other brilliantly. This step sequence gives them the chance to show off their different styles- T that collected, sensual confidence and Scott that more cool and casual style. What hodls it all together is their equally brilliant skating and performance skills, musicality, and that you can feel they are so connected and talking to each other almost telepathically.

Another thing that’s really evident and I think underrated in this program as a whole, but very clear here is T’s confidence. That’s a subject I get into more so in a future post but this being the first program of the comeback- the SD is competed before the free so the first look at their new material, the confidence she has to be out front for that whole midline doing the most technical section of skating in the program (yes she is often at the front of these) with that confidence and showmanship but also so relaxed and assured is really underrated and beyond the entertainment factor just a really important thing for her that I think should be recognised in looking at an overview of their career- their journey and body of work.

4. More dance transitions, ice coverage, playing with the judges/audience

This moment after the NTMSS is when in warm up T says to really ‘dance this part’ again its so obvious how much they feel the music and sit in the rhythm of it. So intricate and flirty. I think the ice coverage they get from that moment in the back corner to when Scott does the knee slide is crazy- in that warm up Scott also says to really’ travel forward on this part’. It could be the angle of the camera but it looks like they travel about 20/30 metres with just a light push off, then actually travel with lots of interact turning/intertwining steps, idk it’s kind so intricate I can’t really break it down beyond saying its just really cool.

Speaking of cool,the knee slide is very.. honestly the first time I watched this and he put his hand down I was like ‘oh shit!’ Cause I thought it might be counted as a fall/wasn’t sure you could do that- but I guess it must’ve been allowed with this being the style that year. I love this moment how they seem to just unravel from each other then suddenly Scott is down on one knee and T is out stretched in a fouette type jump just holding hand to hand. There’s a lot about this program I cant really explain because I don’t know skating terms/steps and its been forever since i trained hip hop- not that that would really help because this is so stylised and individual to them.

The spread eagle glide he does while shifting between hips. Is crazzyyy.. Like some of the stuff in this program is so subtly showy and kinda… party tricky- like more so stuff you would see in an exh/show program, but the fact they manage to work it in so seamlessly to the SD for that matter- the “technical” program not even the free is so cool. I don’t really even know how he does that move so cleanly, then after that the kinda ‘pivot/spin’they do together after that, at different times throughout the season the leg what higher and sometimes lower but either way its really cool.

Then finally the drop. I like both versions- at first when he had her on had by the shoulder and she arched back, then here at worlds is was more of a dip, similar to the MR ending. The eyebrow moment is just fantastic. I keep think with some of these moments in these comeback programs, some of the things they do if I could imagine them doing pre comeback- like its not a confidence thing becuase tehy were always confident skates, but I think they just allowed themselves that freedom to really perform and go for it- truely hold nothing back, so its not that they couldn’t- say for example Scott do a moment like this pre comeback, but it just so unashamedly now. So the eyebrows and then the…what ever that is. I’m not gonna talk about it like how some objectify them-I’m just gonna say yay them! Its like with the ‘neck kiss’ moment in SFTD, I just think it’s so cool, whether they/she knows its coming or not/ I feel strongly Scott just does it in the moment (like with the yell in Carmen at worlds- its just spontaneous) that they can do something like that so confidently- T just lets him do that can keep their focus and be so into it.. I just love it and I admire them so much for these spontaneous moments. It makes the program feel so alive and in the moment for all the tireless rehearsing they have to do fun things like this make them feel more human and in the moment.

5: Transitioning into MB

I’m not gonna gif this part but I just want to say how much I love how they interact in this program- and that really what’s happening between the drop and then getting into position to start the MB pattern, they’re obviously still skating- but it’s not as though they are just filling time between elements. Getting to where they need to be. They are really dancing and playing with each other. It’s super sexy but also very playful. I love the way they play with levels and shapes- Scott with a high arm then T throwing her’s up, turning to each other then to the front- so including the audience in it/playing to the crowd. So often in their programs they are so focused on each other yet somehow at the same time manage to include and project the audience- without necessary playing directly to them in an overly rehearsed/choreographed way. This program is a bit different where it is more sassy and flirty and it’s appropriate to kinda react to each other then look out to the audience/judges, ie the eyebrow moment followed by the….. kiss/lick..??? You know what I mean.

Once again this all is so musical, physically they transition so well to the new music coming in, and as they start the MB, Scott’s twizzle entrance that comes out of nowhere is GOD TIER.

6. Midnight Blues set pattern

I kid you not the whole time I was watching the Beijing olys SD (RD) event, every MB pattern from every team i was counting out oud TS’s timing because THAT is the proper musical timing of that rhythm. They are just sooooooooooooooooo musical. I’ve said before it’s like they don’t dance to the music but the music is coming out of them- they are dictating the music. That is such a hard thing to achieve and is often something that is natural and can’t be taught (I used to have a lot of pianists come up to me after ballet class and tell me I had this and they would often play to me and my timing coz I felt the music with more detail - I just say that to back up my points on this coz it is somewhat hard to understand for non-dancers/musicians). With TS, its like after you watch them and you know the choreography, when if you close your eyes and listen to their music, or any. Music with this timing, you can picture TS’s movement matching perfectly to the music- so it’s was the same (for me) watching other teams not being on the music.

A few fave things to point out: the developé, the right back outside edge on the synchronised retiré, the ONLY TEAM to no-hand the bracket/three turn (I’m sorry I don’t know which one is right I’ve seen/heard both words used), legit the whole time during the 22 oly event I was shouting ‘no-hand the three turn you cowards!!’, the ankle touch, their closeness throughout, the sensuality, Scott death staring the judges on the the first few steps, the ice coverage, the silky smoothness of it all, the edges in general… I think I’ve said everything at this point.

7. Second half of blues pattern

This is probably the lest exciting part of the program- no less technically and artistically brilliant though. So this is where they complete the remainder of the blues pattern- tracing a certain path on the ice but can be made up of of own chore- must touching the whole time and both partners must do a double twizzle in hold. This pattern is once again where I find this really subtle yet compelling energy they have where they balance interacting with each other and the audience. Their audience engagement I think comes a lot from their musicality, especially for the audience sitting further away the expression really has to come from their movements because they are too far away to see their faces. This whole section again is so smooth and silky, so inter the ice but in a really specific blues feel way- they don’t skate it like they do every other program its really specific to the dance style.

(Including this coz I love maps and diagrams😜)

8: Twizzles

Firstly I’m gonna give a shout-out to whoever edits their music coz both the transitions in the program (as are most others) is fantastic. So often the musical transitions in many other programs sounds so unnatural and simply functional.

Specifically on this transition here from 5 Women to Purple Rain. You can feel the energy lift as they match it with how they fly into the twizzles.

Something minor I really love is as the come out of the end of the pattern on the musical transition, the part of chore where the cross over and Scott reaches out to the front, it almost looks like he’s grabbing/touching her pony tail/top of her head. I’m 99% sure that’s to what it is, from the font it just looks like that, but either way it’s cool and like with almost everything in ice dance, it’s subjective so yeh I just think that moment is really cool.

The actual twizzles seem to travel so far- at least half the rink when you consider they are kinda travelling on a diagonal. Having said that their twizzles alway travel crazy distances, it could just be these in particular/the camera angle/at size of the rink (compared to comps in Canada/NthAmerica where the rinks are usually hockey size)

The arms in the twizzles are so cool and just make them so much harder. They did in their twizzles is always so good (esp) post comeback. The arms they do help the twizzles blend into the broader choreography and style rather then standing out as this whole separate element. In this version at worlds the get a teeny tiny bit out of sync on the last set- to be fair they are getting very close to the boards, Scott was having twizzles issues all season but covered it very well.

Following the end of the twizzles it’s amazing how they continue to build and the music begins to reach this really triumphant climax- it also adds to all the good feelings when you hear the crowd lift with them. I love how much fun they obviously seem to be having once the twizzles are done. All the hard stuff is done so they can totally enjoy it from here out

9: Lift and Ending

Obviously there is the lift to go and a very hard lift at that, but I don’t even think I would need the fingers on one hand to count the number of times a lift didn’t work out properly. Lifts are just not hard for them- they always nail them.

This lift I saw for the first time obviously in MR and it worked so perfectly in that. I have this weird thing which is purely a stereotype I’ve created for myself in that there’s certain types of lifts I self-categorise as ‘SD’ lifts and ‘FD’ lifts. I don’t mean lift types as in curve or rotational, it’s more in the sense of.. to use a very technical term.. ‘bigness’ of them. Like the amount of space they take up, the grandness.. etc.. this lift in Prince (which colloquially I refer to as the ‘Prince lift’ when referencing it in MR or other programs) I feel is more so a ‘FD’ lift. This is very likely because the first time I saw it was in MR and for everyone who saw it in Prince or the first time in Whats Love? it’s a SD lift, or maybe no one else thinks of it like that and I’m just weird. I generally think of their SD’s lifts as their fast rotational lifts as in SFTD or DALD (2014) the more I would say ‘ballroom’ style lifts. Now obviously those lifts aren’t reserved for ballroom/latin style dances but nor would they work with the rhythm/style of Prince. Now getting past that weird thing of mine, this lift is obviously perfect for this program. It’s perfect for the music- you couldn’t put this lift anywhere else in the program, nor I feel you could have really any other kind of lift at this moment with this music in the program- it just fits it so well. T being in that costume also work well with this kind of lift- it’s quite acrobatic (as are a lot of their lifts)- not in the sense she’s going upside down or flipping- it’s fairly simple (not less difficult) in it’s mechanics, but this lift wouldn’t work in say the Mahler dress or even the Latch dress- the positions and the mechanics of it are just more suited to a pants costume (yes in MR she’s in a dress but a more athletically enabling style). There’s also something very ‘rock and roll’ about it, like rock concert-y -about it.. again this is me with my bizarre imagery here but it in a way it mimics the physicality of musicians on stage hitting the final notes of a huge song..

Ok now for the physicality.. I said it was simple but at the same time it freaking blows my mind. There’s a clip somewhere of them practicing this lift backstage (so off ice) at 4CC and the one main difference between off and on ice is off Scott doesn’t stand in a flat turned out second when T goes to stand up on his legs. We’ve established that in skating there are two plains on which the blades can travel- forward and back- so parallel, or sideways in flat turn out. So for this lift to work, he has to be travelling sideways in turn out, then to make the lift travel on a curve, he has to lean back and even direct the toes of his blades back past 180 degrees turnout to assist in the direction the curve takes. We’ve also established that in terms of turnout Scott has a lot of it- or at least uses what he has extremely well because his turned out/spread eagle positions are both so aesthetically beautiful but also incredibly strong both in his own transitions and in lift bases. So none of this is surprising, but it still blows my mind. The balance they have both have. The lack of fear Tessa had to arch back that far, them both having to find that together- if you watch this lift from one of the first times they did it in What’s Love, neither of them arch/lean back very far, so that obviously increased as they got more confident with it to the point here and following in MR the next season, T is just about arching/bending back at a 90 degree angle. So what I said earlier about them practicing off ice without that flat turned out base-is it in a sense a completely different lift because of where their weight is. Scott doesn’t get down into a full grand plié off ice so the angle T is standing on is different, she doesn’t bend as far back because that parallel angle she makes with Scott isn’t there when he’s got a different lift base. So I often wonder with a lift like this, once of course the lift becomes easy and they are fully confident with it, what the benefit of practicing it off ice is. I just think that’s interesting.

Then of course with the half twist, landing on his shoulder, he changes direction, and it was kinda funny at worlds, throughout the season actually the final ending pose they got into quicker and quicker- minor changes in the. Hire processing the lift and maybe staying longer in the lift in general, but this last time at worlds they really had to skid into it quick which is a bit funny. Still it works great and in a sense I prefer it over having to wait for the music to catch up. Scott’s reaction at this comp too was just so wholesome. The big ‘yaawooo) and leaning so far back and T just breaking but also staying in position like a good girl, trying to keep him up almost.

For that amount I’ve babbled on here you may call BS on me saying I don’t actually have a tonne to say about this program- obviously in breaking it down I do but unlike say SFTD or Latch I don’t have a tonne of super deep thinky thoughts about it. It’s more more fun, there’s not much of a story, I’m neither a skating nor hip hop connoisseur, so I’m really just breaking down what I’m seeing/ do know.

I do really like this program, it’s just not my favourite, but there is still sooooo much to appreciate and maybe one of my have things is how much fun they had performing it because while they are the best at and have such a unique ability to pour themselves into really dark and deeply emotional programs, I’m really glad they have opportunity to, and are just also really good at more up beat, light hearted programs. Also let’s not forget they broke the damn world record nearly every time they performed this.. and this was the comeback SD.. my mind is just forever gonna be blown with these two I’ll stop talking now bye..

Links to all performances (competitive):

ACI • SCI • NHK • GPF • 4CC • Worlds

(There’s no available video of nationals that I know of)

Full SD from 2017 worlds (for comparison of teams)

#sd: prince #program breakdowns

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