it's a bad idea, right? - eren jaeger
Ex!Eren x Fem!Reader
summary: seeing your ex after a night out… it’s a bad idea, right?
cw: 18+, smut (afab!reader, unprotected sex, creampie), exes to lovers, swearing.
w/c: 4.5k
a/n: first time writing a ~proper~ smut, kinda bad, kinda fucking terrified to post but, we move 💪 olivia's new song is perfect for an exes to lovers whore such as myself, so i had to use it in a fic. enjoy :)
masterlist
Despite having the same friends, you hadn’t seen or heard from your ex for 2 months. The break-up was mutual, something about growing apart and wanting different things. Sure, you were upset, devastated even, but something inside you that knew you’d hold him again. And somehow, that one sliver of hope had wrapped around your heart and held it hostage.
It’s how you found yourself at Moose with your two friends, Hitch and Annie, on the brink of passing out. The club’s multicoloured lights gave you a headache, and the generous amount of alcohol you had consumed an hour earlier started to wear off, but you continued to dance, laugh, and sing with the two girls.
You held your phone in your hand as you threw your arms in the air. The room was lively and had been the best night you’d had at Moose in the past few months (or maybe it was because you knew who would call you tonight…).
But when Hitch slapped you on the arm, and the phone in your hand started vibrating simultaneously, you had an inkling of who was calling.
“Don’t answer it,” Hitch yelled over the music, her eyes narrowed.
You shrugged and, without looking, declined the call. “Who was it?”
“Don’t act dumb,” She shook her head, still jumping around.
You rolled your lips between your teeth, and your heart started pounding faster. There was only one person who could elicit that tone from Hitch.
You kept a playful smile on your face, and it remained when your phone rang again. But, this time, you faced the screen toward your body so the girls wouldn’t see.
Eren’s name flashed on the screen, along with his contact photo: him with bedhead, shirtless, with the biggest smile on his face. Why his contact was still in your phone, with that specific photo, was beyond you, but all questions were out of your head when you turned around and left the dance floor without explanation.
Swiping right to answer, you brought your phone to your ear. “What?” It probably wasn’t the most polite thing to say, but you were half-drunk, and your feet hurt.
“Hi to you too, baby.”
The tone of his voice sent shivers down your spine. It was the first time you’d heard his voice in months.
“Eren,” You said, squeezing through groups to get to the bar. “Are you okay?”
“I’m great, actually, now that I’m talking to you.”
You could hear the smirk in his voice over the music, and that’s when you could tell you were in trouble. “What’s up?”
He hummed into the receiver, but you could barely catch it. “Wanna come over tonight?”
“Why?” You asked, but it was playful.
“I got a new place. Wanna give you a tour.”
“Do you? Well, where was this call, I don’t know, a month ago?”
Eren groaned into his phone. “Just come! Please, I miss you.”
You paused as you were adjusting your spot on the bar stool. “You want me to come over?”
“Do you want to come over?”
“Yes,” Your voice was breathless as you answered, and Eren’s soft laughter in the background wasn’t helping. “As friends.”
“Okay, yeah. I’ll text you the address, bestie,” He said. “Can’t wait to see you.”
And then he hung up. You knew what he wanted because you wanted it too.
Flashes of Eren played on a loop in your head: the last time you saw him, the first time, him smiling at you in that cocky way of his, his body on top of yours, his under yours… it was insanity.
“Why’d you leave?” Hitch shouted in your ear. You jumped, a guilty look on your face that you hoped she and Annie wouldn’t notice.
“I feel sick. I think I might go home,” You cringed at how the words came out of your mouth.
And when Annie side-eyed Hitch, you knew they knew you were lying.
“I’ll just get an Uber,” You unlocked your phone and clicked on the app, receiving a text from Eren simultaneously.
How convenient.
Typing in 843 Campanula Street, CS Apartments, you knew you should stop, but you couldn’t. A car popped up: 5 minutes away.
Getting up to leave, you knew they would follow you outside. So, you held Hitch’s hand and pulled her, who pulled Annie out of the crowd and out of the entrance. You adjusted your purse on your shoulder and stepped out into the warm night air.
“You should probably not see Eren tonight. You’re not in the right headspace,” Hitch said behind you. She knew you were lying about feeling sick, so you may as well play into it.
“Can’t two people reconnect?” You teased, glancing over your shoulder.
“Bullshit,” Annie stated boredly.
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
“Listen, I only see him as a friend,” You rolled your eyes. “We’re done, we’re through, we’re never ever getting back together, okay?”
Hitch and Annie shared a look. You’d just told the biggest lie you’ve ever said.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” You looked down the road for your Uber.
Then Hitch choked out a laugh and Annie sighed. You furrowed your eyebrows.
“We just don’t want you to get hurt again,” Hitch said softly after she finished coughing.
You shook your head. “I won’t. Besides, I’m going straight home. I’ll ask him what’s up in the morning.”
Hitch nodded knowingly. “Yeah, okay. Have fun at home. Text us when you get there.”
Your Uber pulled up next to the curb. You smiled at Hitch and wrapped your arms around her neck. “See you.”
Turning toward Annie, you only grinned, making her look more bored. “Don’t be an idiot.”
You threw your hands up in defence. “I’m not. I’m going home.”
“Bye then,” Annie waved and turned to reenter the club. Hitch stayed a little longer to ensure the Uber left, waving enthusiastically after it.
You knew you should stop, but you couldn’t.
Fuck it, it’s fine.
—
When the elevator dinged, you stepped out onto the second floor. It was a nice complex with white walls, gold door handles, and dark, clean carpet, an upgrade from his previous apartment complex just off-campus.
The floor was quiet for a Saturday night, except for the bass from party music coming from the lower floor. The carpet was plush under your feet, and the hanging lights were gold too. Maybe you were more tipsy than you thought as you picked out details you would’ve before.
You saw nobody as you passed the first apartments. But, as you turned the corner of the hallway, Eren was standing in the doorway of the last apartment with a cocky grin.
“Hey,” he called. You looked around and hushed him. It was 1am, after all. “Pish, they’re probably all out anyway.”
You felt your face heat up when you got closer, feeling self-conscious in your party dress and shoeless feet. But you couldn’t stop looking at him. Somehow, in the last 2 months, Eren had gotten more attractive. His black t-shirt was taut against his chest and biceps. His hair was pulled back into its usual half-bun, but the pieces in the front made him look prettier. You swore you’d seen someone much hotter for your sanity, but nobody came to mind. God, he really encapsulated everything you’d ever want and need.
“Seeing you tonight… It’s a bad idea, right?” You giggled, swinging your heels in your hand.
“I’d say it’s the best idea ever, but depends on who you ask,” His eyes raked up your body as you walked toward him. “Besides, just friends, right?”
The dimple you’d missed appeared on his cheek as he smirked, and your confidence grew.
“We’re the best of friends,” At the sound of your voice so low and sultry, Eren blinked.
His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and when you reached him, his hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your cheek flush against his chest. The action didn’t surprise you because you would do the same.
“Hi,” He whispered before pushing you away, his hands still on your shoulders.
You were going to speak, but your brain short-circuited. The rational side of your brain continuously asked you why, why, why, while the other side screamed at you to kiss him. It was a jumble of static and blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
All you could think about was him.
Fuck it, it’s fine!
“Wanna show me,” You paused, flickering your eyes to his. The usual bright green of his eyes turned darker, and his grip on your shoulders tightened—his hands were burning your skin. “The apartment?”
This seemed to snap Eren out of his daze because he shook his head to rid his thoughts, then nodded, stepping back and widening the door to welcome you.
“Uh, yeah, so…” Eren stumbled, closing the door behind him. “This is the apartment.”
You walked inside, placing your purse on the granite kitchen counter and your heels on the floor.
“It’s lovely,” You muttered. From the couch to the posters and photos on the walls, it was so Eren, but it was mature. And it was lovely, different, attractive, but your attention wasn’t on the decor. It was on the owner of said decor, but you weren’t going to make that obvious yet.
Eren rubbed the back of his neck as he watched you look around the space: into the open-plan living room, down the small hallway to the bathroom and the spare bedroom, and then back into the kitchen and to the lone door on the other side of the living room.
“Your bedroom?” You asked, your voice light. You weren’t giving anything away yet. It was risky being here in the first place. There were reasons why you broke up, but you didn’t care at that moment. This was more fun than ignoring each other.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Eren teased, breaking out of his frozen state to meet you at the door.
The air was charged like it used to be, but you dismissed it, making a beeline for the couch—a large L-shaped black leather lounge. As soon as you sat down, all the aching in your back dissipated as you sunk deeper into the throw cushions. You groaned in relaxation, propping your feet up.
“Why do you always get the comfiest couches?” You closed your eyes. “S’not fair.”
Eren didn’t say anything as you shuffled around to get comfortable, pulling the hem of your dress down your legs. He looked at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. 01:47.
“You tired, hm?” He asked, and you nodded, pretending to yawn. Eren narrowed his eyes when you did so. He’d seen that action before, the lesser version of your actual yawn—he’d seen the real one too many times to know when you were faking.
“Guess I’ll take you home then.”
Your eyes snapped open, and you shook your head. But when you saw Eren, a cocky smirk rested on his face, much like when you arrived.
“I knew you were faking,” He laughed, stalking toward you. You pouted and looked up at him, your gaze catching his for a second before you looked away.
“A more detailed tour, please,” You reached out your hand, and Eren pulled you up.
The momentary touch of skin on skin was enough to fry your brain for a few minutes as you mechanically followed him into the bathroom, where you washed your face with his face wash, then into the spare bedroom to look at the view from the window, and finally, into Eren’s bedroom off the living room.
Nothing was said as you entered, but the smell of his room was the same as it had always been—it was just in a different space without you to experience it. Cedar, geranium, bergamot, apple. It was the scent you bought him for his 19th birthday 4 years ago when you first started dating. You were stepping into a time machine, and all the emotions that came with it hit you in the face.
You willed yourself not to cry as you turned your back to him to look over his desk. You ignored the few extra things he’d gathered without you in the two months you’d be apart, but it was all the same. It was Eren.
“You like it?” He mumbled, the heat on your back making sense. You didn’t realise how close he was standing until he spoke, his hands on the desk beside you, caging you in.
“It’s very you, Ren. The whole thing,” You spun around, your hips against his. “I really like it.”
He smiled in relief and let his eyes wander your expression, recounting every mark, pore, scar on your face that he had memorised. It was all the same. You were still you.
“I’m glad,” He breathed. “Thanks, bestie.”
But you didn’t laugh. Your eyes were focused on his mouth. The realisation made Eren lick his lips again, but you noticed they twitched with anticipation this time.
“This okay?” You whispered, slowly wounding your arms around his neck and pushing your hips harder against his.
“You’re kidding, right?” He smirked, gaining his confidence back. His hands slid from the desk to your hips, and he leaned closer, breaths mixing, lips lingering. “I missed you so fucking much.”
Eren’s lips brushed yours as he spoke. And you almost caved. Your fingers played with the loose hairs of his half-bun, and the action reminded you that you’d done this before, more than you could count—but never in the situation you were in right then.
“Fuck it.”
You don’t know who made the first move, but soon Eren was swiping everything off his desk and onto the floor so he could lift you onto his desk. You spread your legs apart and locked your ankles around his hips, pulling him closer. The kisses were sloppy and hasty, making up for lost time. You smiled when he began pushing the hem of your dress higher, his teeth tapping yours as he grinned too.
Panting into each other’s mouths, you slid your hands down his chest and into the waistband of his sweatpants.
“I want these off,” You mumbled, getting your nails under his briefs and pulling them down with his pants.
“Well, I want this off,” Eren laughed, reaching behind you to fiddle with the zipper on the back. The sudden exposure of your back to the hot air of his bedroom sent goosebumps over your skin.
The front of your dress began to loosen, and soon, Eren pulled away from you, his hands carefully dragging the straps of your dress down your arms. His sweats were halfway down his legs, and his briefs sat awkwardly over his ass, but he couldn’t care less, not when you looked the way you did.
The more you reflect on that night, the more you disagree. The thought of being in a club not an hour ago left you feeling gross and probably smelling gross too. But at that moment, you didn’t care because you were with him, in his new room and apartment, and all you could think about was him.
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
Eren laughed breathlessly at the sight of your tits, and when your dress was at your waist, he cupped them with his palms. “Fuck, I missed you.”
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
When Eren leaned down to press kisses to your neck, you reached your hands to play with his hair again. “I… missed you… too.”
“Tell me what you want,” He breathed heavily into the space under your ear when he heard you struggle around the words.
You whined in response, tilting your head back.
He laughed lowly. “I know you know how to use your words, pretty girl.”
The pet name caused a moan to escape your throat, and soon you were clenching around nothing. Your mind was far away, head in the clouds, from being with him like this again. “You…”
“Where?” He pulled away from your neck, his lips plump. “Where do you want me?”
“Eren…” You frowned, eyes half-lidded as you looked at him. Eren’s eyes retraced your expression, his hands brushing stray strands from your face.
A cheeky grin spread across his cheeks. “You’re so damn cute.”
“Everywhere,” You finalised, leaning up to capture his lips with yours.
Eren got the message and wrapped his large hands under your thighs to pick you up. Your legs remained around him as he expertly approached the bed without looking.
“Gotten a lot of practice at that?” You joked, breathless.
But, Eren shook his head and kissed your cheek. “There’s only ever been you.”
The thought brought heat to your ears, cheeks, and body, and soon, you were burning. “Me too.”
“Fuck,” He half-laughed, half-groaned, laying you on the bed. Eren gave you a crazy grin before he opened his mouth, biting your shoulder. You tried to push him away, giggling, but you never forgot his strength. He went down your body, pulling your dress down your legs as he went, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your stomach. Gripping the sheets, you arched, keening into him, chasing the buzz of his lips and the feverish marks they leave. But before he reached your underwear, he sat back his heels and pulled his shirt over his head by the back collar—like he always did.
There was nothing to be shy about, you’d done this a thousand times with him, but you placed a hand on your torso nonetheless. When Eren noticed this, he furrowed his eyebrows.
“Nuh, uh, no being shy around me,” he whispered and picked your hand up, holding it as he leaned over you. You quickly spread your legs to make room for him between them, and he wasted no time filling the space, tucking his other arm underneath your shoulders and lifting you up so your chests were flush. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and will ever see, understand? Us not being together doesn’t change that.”
You sighed, tears springing in the corners of your eyes. Maybe it was the moment or the weeks of not speaking to the one man you trusted with your life, but you couldn’t help the words that tumbled out next.
“I love you,” You mumbled, lifting your free hand up to fun through his hair, pulling the rest out of the bun.
Eren smiled a tender smile you knew all too well, which he reserved for you during moments like this. “And I love you. I’m gonna show you how much, okay? Will you let me do that?” Eren’s voice was soft and warm, your skin ablaze, and your heart grew tenfold.
You nodded, searching his eyes with your own. All you saw was tenderness, infatuation, and everything you had grown accustomed to in the last 4 years. You pressed your lips against him in a quick peck in response to his original question.
Eren laid your body back onto the bed, trailing his hand down your side and into your underwear. You gasped at the coldness of his fingers as they dragged through your slit.
“So wet, baby,” Two of his fingers started rubbing circles around your clit, making you arch into him. “Miss me?”
“I thought we’d already established that, Jaeger… shit,” You squeezed your eyes shut when he pushed two fingers into you.
“Don’t get sassy with me. You know how that goes,” Eren smirked, watching you fall apart from just his fingers.
“Eren, don’t—oh fuck,” You moaned as soon as you felt his fingers go precisely where they needed to, his thumb on your clit. He knew you inside out, and you knew he was getting off on that thought.
Pure white pleasure set fire to your insides as you climaxed, though the embarrassment of cumming so hard on just his fingers never came. Because it always ended like this.
You looked down at your hips, where his hand was inside your underwear, and nearly blacked out from the sheer familiarity of your first time with him. “Take those off right now. We are not repeating our first time.”
Eren barked a laugh, shaking his head as he pulled them down your legs. “I thought it’d be cute,” He mumbled.
“Get up here,” You scolded, but the demand was lazy and playful, making Eren want you more (if possible).
He climbed up your body again, his pants and briefs on the floor, as his cock rested against your stomach when he kissed you. There was no time to be wasted, not when you’d waited months for this to feel him again. You always knew you would hold him again.
Eren sat up, and you wrapped your hand around his cock, lazily pumping him a few times. He was hot and heavy in your fist, and the feeling was delicious. “I haven’t even touched you yet,” You giggled.
His eyes found your core, where you were dripping onto his dark sheets and clenching nothing, and the sight made Eren moan and screw his eyes closed. “It’s just you… fuck Y/n.”
And then you took your hand off him, and Eren’s jaw fell open, looking down at you.
“C’mon,” He whined, and you shook your head, laying back on his bed.
“Fuck me, Eren.”
At your crude words, Eren bit his bottom lip to stop his smile. “Yes, ma’am.”
He hovered over you, his hair brushing your cheeks as he looked down to guide himself into you. He ran his cock through your folds a few times, causing you to jolt, before he sunk the tip into you.
The stretch was like coming home after a long time away, burning with slight pain before the pleasure took over. You welcomed him back into you. Circling your arms around his neck, you buried your hands in his dark locks, pulling the way you knew he loved.
“Jesus,” Eren cursed lowly when he bottomed out; the sensation of you around him was one he’d never forget. “You good?”
“Yeah, baby,” You squeezed his sides with your knees, dragging your nails softly along his scalp. He didn’t move for a beat, eyes trained on your nose's scrunch and relieved smile.
“Good girl,” He whispered, pecking your lips as he rocked in and out of you. Your hands pulled at his hair harder than before, and he groaned into your lips, your mouths touching but not kissing. “You’re so tight, fuck.”
And when he picked up his pace, you cried out into his mouth, the feeling and sound of his body on top of yours familiar and obscene. Above you, Eren made the pretty sounds you’d once begged to hear again. And soon, perhaps too soon, your stomach twisted into a coil again, his thrusts becoming too much when he continually hit that one spot like he always did. His voice became rough and desperate, panting your name before the volume increased.
Words tumbled out of his mouth sloppily, curses and jumbled questions, and your name. His usual deep groans turned to whimpers, and the sound made you reach your high faster.
“Close?’” Eren asked, running a hand down your body to find your clit, fingers slippery as they circled quick.
“Mmhm, yeah,” You mumbled, nodding sporadically and arching your body to mould to his, his name falling from your lips like a prayer.
And then, the coil in your stomach snapped, and the white-hot flash that burned you from inside set you ablaze. Your body opened up for him, and Eren chased to meet you at the top, his movements becoming sloppy as he fucked you through your high. You’re too sensitive, warm, and wet, but Eren came inside, filling you fully.
He groaned deep into your ear, shuddering, and at that moment, you vowed to never let him go again.
—
After your activities last night, Eren gave you his favourite t-shirt and wrapped you up nice and tight in his sheets. You kissed him repeatedly, making promises under the blanket of night, the moon your witness. Never again would you leave, not when you knew him like you did, when you’d spent four years of your life moulding to each other. You cried, Eren cried, you laughed, he held you, you flicked his forehead, he tickled you. It was like you’d never said the words that caused the downward spiral of your life in the first place.
Reaching over to grab your phone off the bedside table, your notifications were filled with messages on messages from your group chat with Hitch and Annie, and… Reiner?
07:24
Hitch: Where are you?????? Answer pls!!!!
07:59
Annie: Y/n istg
08:50
You: Sorry I was asleep
08:50
Hitch: Thank god
08:51
Hitch: We’re gonna facetime rn
You groaned and turned your head toward a sleeping Eren. His hair was all over the place, his face innocent and soft, his skin golden and back bare. He was all you could ever want and more.
You slowly lifted the charcoal grey duvet to swing your legs out and sat up. Your entire body ached, and your legs shook as you stood up. Stifling a laugh of embarrassment, you tiptoed out of his room, careful of the one creaking floorboard he’d warned you about the night before.
It wasn’t until you got to the living room that your phone vibrated with an incoming group Facetime.
“Hi,” You said tiredly, trying to block as much background as possible; they knew your apartment better than you did.
“Good morning,” Hitch glared through the screen. Annie said nothing.
“What happened to your neck? Hm?” The brunette asked, her voice accusatory.
You moved toward the couch, sitting on the lush black leather, tucking a pillow behind your back. “Oh, I tripped and fell—”
“Yeah, into Eren’s bed,” Annie cut you off.
Hitch muffled a laugh, and you stared at her in disbelief.
Your mouth opened and closed with no sound. “No?” You visibly cringed when the usual statement came out as a question.
“Y/n!” Hitch yelled, a smile taking over her false scold. Annie rolled her eyes with a hint of a smirk. Then, all that could be heard was laughter.
“Well, at least you’re okay. I mean, it’s just Eren,” Hitch giggled. You smiled at her, grateful for your friends.
“Oh! Reiner texted me too,” You suddenly remembered seeing his name on your lock screen.
“Reiner?” The confusion in Hitch’s voice matched the thoughts in your mind. Why would Reiner text you privately?
You clicked around your phone until you opened Reiner’s message.
02:49
Reiner: i’m happy for u and all, but pls stfu
But you couldn't find it in yourself to care, even after the realisation that all your friends knew you'd slept together washed over you. Because all you cared about was him.
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
a/n: prologue
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