#part of the human experience that I’ve never gotten to experience and it’s just so unfair and totally fucked me up for life and now idk if

[unhinged-nymph]

.

#feeling extremely dramatic about the fact that I’ve never experienced love and have never been in a relationship and there’s just this huge #part of the human experience that I’ve never gotten to experience and it’s just so unfair and totally fucked me up for life and now idk if #I could even do the love thing now because of how freaked out it makes me feel and I hate that I’m such a hopeless romantic and that I’m #plagued with loving to talk about and read about love but I’ll never have any for myself #and it’s just so fucked up and I’m having extremely big feelings about it

[cathrrrine]

Perfect / Love Won’t Die

Dominick “Sonny” Carisi x Reader • Law and Order SVU • Domestic Fluff, AFAB!Reader

Summary: Sonny happily holds the bouquet of flowers he bought for his girlfriend only for her to open the door and start crying. He immediately panics, but soon finds himself amused when she reveals the true reason for her tears. AO3

A/N: I’ve never posted any of my SVU imagines, but I had to with this one :) Happy 2024! My resolution is to post more of my work so I’m digging through all my drafts and posting them lol. Enjoy husband material Carisi <3

In all the six months you had been dating Sonny, there were never many problems that couldn’t be resolved with a simple conversation or a hug and a kiss on the cheek. As far as Sonny was concerned, it was the perfect relationship. He had gotten to know all your little habits; likes and dislikes, pet peeves, niche obsessions. Six months wasn’t exactly a super long time but it wasn’t short either. After only half a year of dating each other, he’d confidently testify that he had fallen in love with you deeply, enough to want to spend the rest of his life with you. He was happy to get married, have babies, grow old together…the whole shebang.

Things were going steady with you. He couldn’t imagine himself being with anybody else, and he was over the moon to know that you felt the samw way. Long late-night conversations about the future the two of you dreamed of revealed that you wanted him to be a part of it as much as he wanted you. Sure, Sonny was aware of how much of a (hopeless) romantic he could be sometimes, but that was in the past, and all of those relationships weren’t with the right people. His sisters had been talking his ear off ever since high school, warning him about women that would only break his heart. It made him wince just to think about all the red flags they ticked off angrily; gold-diggers, manipulators, emotionally unstable women, emotionally unavailable women…and the likes of it. That and their own broken-heart experiences that prompted very fuelled lectures of examples of men Sonny shouldn’t follow always rang in his mind, even until now.

He’d also been made well aware of how right they were about his exes with a bunch of ‘I told you so’s’ and narrowed eyes, but those relationships were in the past and he was much, much younger (and dumber) than he is now. He only had a couple of serious relationships in his adulthood, which ended up not being the right fit for either parties. Then, his love life got buried under the heavy, heavy load of police work and law school and he never found the time to make himself available in the dating pool. He was always too tired, too beat, too mentally drained. It was never a priority.

Then everything came to a stop and his whole world wouldn’t do anything but revolve around you. Sonny was smitten, like a lovesick puppy who got shot by cupid’s nuclear-powered bazooka as fate would have it.

He never felt this way about anyone in his life before, it was a feeling he relished in and was adamant on not letting go.

You were perfect.

Obviously, you had your flaws, but all only human, none of them fatal. Like how you had a habit of ordering too much food but he ends up being the one to finish it up when you realised your eyes had been bigger than your appetite — but he didn’t mind that at all, in fact he secretly loved being able to feast like a King — or how sometimes, you would arrive 10 minutes late to your dates on one of your busiest weeks, which he never complained about because he had his fair share of being unpunctual as well. Plus, you always made it up to him one way or another.

You were absolutely perfect, inside and out. Sonny thanked God everyday for sending a woman as smart, beautiful and kind as you his way. He’s never felt so lucky.

Sonny knew and loved everything about you, down to your weirdest quirks. If there was a Jeopardy! game where the topic was You, he’d be waving around his trophy like a mad man. What you didn’t tell him, he learned. It was the same way you got to know him. The two of you were always honest with each other, trust being the pillar of your relationship, it was why you got along so well. You knew how to make him happy, as he did for you.

So, why is it that you were crying as he handed you a bouquet of your favourite flowers as soon as you opened the door to your apartment?

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” His sweet smile dropped to a concerned frown, uncomfortable and nervous at your sudden reaction.

There you were in front of him, dressed in your most comfortable pair of pyjama pants and an oversized tee that he was sure once belonged to him, messy hair up that he found extremely adorable. Nothing seemed out of place, except for the fact that…well, you were crying.

He always brought you flowers. Was he late? He glanced at the clock on your wall. No…was it something he said? Something he did? Something…he totally forgot about?

“Nothing- no, everything’s fine, nothing’s wrong.” You sniffed, hugging the fresh bouquet close to your chest, dipping your nose into the floral fragrance to smell it only to find that the tears had triggered an onslaught of snot. That only made you cry more.

The bubble of nerves in Sonny’s chest was bursting at this point, he was almost worried he was having a heart attack. “Doll, you’re crying, something’s wrong.”

He held out an arm to pull you into a hug and you eagerly sunk into his embrace. You buried your face into the fabric of his suit jacket, breathing in what you could of his faded perfume. His calloused hands stroked your hair, softly caressing your head as he cradled it. He gently peeled you off of him to get a better look of your face, now red and eyes puffy from sobbing.

He held your cheeks between his palms and you pouted, looking up at him with sad doe-like eyes, and if that didn’t break his heart that he must not have one because the look on your face was shattering him in every possible way right now. One of his thumbs swiped a fresh tear off your cheek, he felt you nuzzle into his hand.

The tall blond gently led you to your couch and set the flowers down on the coffee table before cuddling up with you close to his chest. You wrapped your arms around him desperately, wanting nothing more than to be absolutely engulfed by everything Sonny — scent, skin and biceps.

“You’re killing me sweetheart, you gotta tell me what’s gotten you all upset like this.” You felt him kiss the top of your head and love bloomed in your chest immediately. “Come on, doll, what’s up?”

You sighed, big and loud, huffing away all the choked up tears with one big breath. “I swear it’s nothing. I’m so stupid.”

He was quiet for a while until you felt his voice vibrate from his chest again, “Was it…me? Did I do something wrong?”

You whipped your head to look at him, only to be greeted with a very worried expression.

Oh, Sonny. Oh, sweet heavenly innocent Sonny. How could you not love this man with every fibre of your being when he’s got that look in his eyes? The one where his pupils are so dilated, you could see your reflection in his big, blue puppy eyes.

How could you have been so careless?! Of course he’d think you were crying because of him, the sweet stupid man — God, you loved him so much. The thought only made you more emotional…and just like that the waterworks came rushing back in.

“Oh, God, Sonny-“ you hiccuped, pulling yourself away from him to put your face in your hands. “I’m so sorry- it’s not your fault at all,”

The lovesick, worried-sick man shot up next to you to pull you into his arms once again, stomach churning at the wave of emotions you were going through. He couldn’t even detective his way through this, his mind going haywire with every sniff that came from you.

“Then what is it?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, “Did something happen at work? Is it that asshole again?”

With what he dealt with at his job, it wasn’t out of the question for his mind to be going down that dark path, but he shoved his anger and panic down to focus on your well-being, remaining rational until you were calm.

That made you shoot up to look at him again, words tumbling out of your mouth hurriedly to curb his worries. “No, no! I’m okay, I’m absolutely fine, Todd — that ass — didn’t do anything to me, I promise you, I swear to God. And it’s not you, it’s not anything even remotely related to anything sane at all. I don’t even know why I’m getting all worked up over a bunch of random things, it’s just so—“

“Doll.” Your boyfriend’s voice pulled you out of your rambling. The loving concern that radiated off of him was enough to bring you back to your senses. Gently, he asked again. “What is it?”

You melted immediately, both embarrassed and exhausted from all the sobbing you had been doing. “I’m on my period.”

Oh.

Oh!

“I know, I’m not usually this emotionally affected but my hormones are all over the place and my TV decided to autoplay The Notebook, now I’m a mess.” You sniffed. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have seen me like this, much less deal with me.”

It was only then that the detective noticed the TV screen, paused on Ryan Gosling’s frowning face.

He tried to stifle his amusement, but it came out in a fit of giggles, much to your dismay.

“It’s not funny.” You pouted.

“I just— I thought—“ His laughter consumed him, shoulders shaking as he held up his palms to his face and ran his fingers through his hair, uncaring of how it would mess it up. Sonny leaned back into the couch and continued to laugh with his hands over his face.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was so quiet it came out like a squeak, ashamed of how you cried like a baby in front of him. Although the two of you spent plenty times over at each other’s places and hanging out with each other, over the six months he knew you, you never had your hormones hit you this hard. It wasn’t uncommon to you, but it wasn’t a regular occurrence either, and it certainly wasn’t an event Sonny had the pleasure of experiencing…until today.

“It’s okay if you’d prefer to be at your own place right now, I totally get it. I won’t be offended in the least, okay? I’ll call you in the morning.” Some men in the past have been weirded out when this happened to you, so you weren’t lying when you said you wouldn’t be offended — it was ‘your fault’ anyway, that was what you had grown accustomed to.

But Sonny, the ever-loving and understanding guy, did not share the same view. Of course not! Raised-with-sisters, loves-his-mother, thoroughly Italian, good-Catholic-man-who-respects-women Sonny, would never in a million years ever even think about being upset with you just because your period messed with your emotions. And that’s why you weren’t sure why you were so surprised when he responded to your offer with a kiss.

This was Sonny. He would never think lowly of you because of something you couldn’t control.

“That’s crazy talk, doll.” He mumbled into the kiss, smiling as he continued to love on your lips. “I’d never leave you alone like this.”

You pulled away a bit to properly look at his face, “Really?”

This was the man your heart belonged to. You don’t know how you didn’t explode when he gave you the most charming smile that ever graced his lips.

“Really.”

Everything you were worried about solved itself into place, like sentient puzzle pieces figuring themselves out with confidence.

“You’re too good for me.”

Unabashedly, you continued to make out with your boyfriend on your couch, a newfound appreciation driving you mad with love.

“I’m only for you, babe. Don’t need anyone or anything else but you.”

———

Now that the two of you were freshened up and settled down with mugs of hot cocoa in your hands, you and Sonny were much more at ease.

There was nothing better to Sonny than to be cuddled up with his girlfriend with her head laying on his chest. You practically clung to the arm draped over your shoulder, making a nest out of his bicep for your face — which reminded him of a koala bear, but he kept that thought to himself. He was so comfortable, so happy that this was his life. His nose pressed against your hair, the scent of your shampoo reminding him of a holiday well-spent together in Mexico. Deja Vu hit him the minute he kissed your head, laughing through his nose when he remembered the events that happened just a few hours prior.

“Hey,” he nudged you with the arm you were glued to. You pulled your focus from the movie you were watching — a comedy, nothing that would make the ‘bloody demon hormones possess me’ as you put it — and raised your eyebrows curiously in response. “I’m just wonderin’…”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you cry when I gave you the flowers?”

You groaned, still somewhat embarrassed at the flurry of emotions you attacked the innocent man with. But you humoured the question anyway, “I opened the door and you were standing there, so handsome and so sickeningly charming, holding up flowers that you brought for me. You should be worried if I didn’t cry.”

“Wow,” he whistled. “I’m really that handsome, huh?”

You playfully hit him in the chest with your fist as you resumed your initial position, “Shut up.” A smirk managed to rip it’s way through your lips. “But mostly, I was crying because I was so sad that the flowers were going to die. I don’t know, just weird how my brain works on my period.”

It was a nonchalant mention, nothing big to you, but it stuck to his mind. Flowers dying made you upset. How precious was that? He catalogued the thought, filing it away for the future. The inkling of humour tempted him, though.

“So, not so much on the handsome part?”

You snorted, “Eh, I’ll give it a 60/40.”

“It should be in the news or something. ‘Guy So Handsome, Makes A Grown Woman Cry’” he gestured in the air as if there was a banner.

“How about, ‘Girl So Hormonal, Makes A Grown Man Cry With Her’?”

“Psh, I didn’t cry.”

“You so were.”

“Was not.”

You laughed, thinking he’d given it up when the sound of the movie began to fade into your hearing again.

“You should come over the precinct, tell the guys how I can make the ladies cry just by showing up at their door.”

He wore that goofy, toothy grin you were so accustomed to whenever he was joking around.

You rolled your eyes. Then decided to mess with him. “Excuse me? Ladies? Plural?”

The grin immediately wiped off of his face. “No- I meant lady, as in singular.”

“Mhmm.”

“I mean— no, that’s not what—“

“Sure, Son.” The monotonous voice you used made him sweat.

“You know you’re the only gal for me! I was just joking…hey, baby, come on, look at me…”

———

Months passed by and relationship milestones came and went. You finally met his family on month eight, and him yours. Month ten, you got a promotion at work and thankfully — not by your doing — Todd left the company. Sonny and the rest of the SVU team made a breakthrough on a case, you met his coworkers you heard so much about for the first time when he brought you along for their celebratory dinner. He was teased relentlessly for ‘keeping such a wonderful woman from us all this time’. You enjoyed the camaraderie that they shared with each other, and felt like you won a prize when they extended it to you.

Time passed by you so fast that you barely noticed it was almost a full year since you and Sonny made it official.

The day of your anniversary, he made reservations for the two of you at a fancy restaurant — Italian, of course. You reminisced the journey of your relationship together over some fine dining and a delightful bottle of wine. The ambiance, mixed with the light-headed feeling from one too many glasses of wine, only made the love you had for Sonny so much more emphasised. It was a dream, to be loved by such an amazing man, to have found your soulmate. If you weren’t at such busy points of your career, you’d literally have his babies right then and there. A couple of mini Sonny’s would do the world good, you pondered. Unbeknownst to you, the subject of your thoughts was thinking the exact same thing, only he was dreaming up a babble of mini You’s instead.

Sonny and you walked home together — he had basically moved into your apartment by now, he was finding it harder and harder to be separated from you at night. Having you next to him made him sleep better, and just generally being around you made him feel better — the two of you never made his move-in an official thing, but there was no need to. It was almost like you shared a telepathic connection. Although, Sonny being Sonny, will make the moving in an official thing whether you needed to or not. Maybe into an actual house, with a backyard and a huge kitchen and a family to raise in to make it a home. One day. Maybe even tomorrow. He’d do anything, anytime with you.

“Got you something, by the way.” He grinned, keys jangling on the doorknob as he swung it open for you.

“Sonny, you didn’t have to.” You blushed. One year together and he still had that effect on you.

“Well, I wanted to.”

While you were taking off your shoes, he used it as a distraction to take it out of the hiding spot he so carefully planned — his height being an advantage to said plan — and waddled over in his socks to where you were sitting on the couch, handing it to you once he was sat as well.

It was a daintily patterned gift bag, not too big and not too small either, with a card attached to it on the front. You carefully removed it to read his words in neat handwriting.

Happy 1 year anniversary, doll. I love you so much. You make me the luckiest man alive. My love for you will never die.

You wanted to cry, so touched by his short but undeniably sweet words. He saw how your bottom lip jutted out, the way it usually did when emotions got the best of you, and smiled to himself with a bit of pride in getting his words right.

Slowly, you pried the top of the bag open, only discovering a plastic dome. “Careful.” Your boyfriend noted.

You wondered what it was, going over all the possibilities in your head as you took it out of the bag; lava lamp, necklace, tiny bottle, lantern…only to gasp when you saw what it really was inside.

A small sphere-shaped cactus with a crown of pink flowers, placed inside a white ceramic pot with the words, ‘My love for you will never die’ engraved in cursive writing around it.

Ahhhh, here come the waterworks.

“Sonny,” your eyebrows scrunched up, lips fully pouting now. “This is the sweetest fucking gift ever.”

Your use of words didn’t go unnoticed by the smiling man, earning you a chuckle out of him. “I remember the time you cried when I brought you flowers, and you told me it was because you were sad ‘bout them dying…it’s cheesy, I know. Corny, a bit. But I thought you’d like it.”

The rising inflection of his voice gave away his nerves, but you were quick to make your appreciation known. “I do, I do! It’s just the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me. Thank you, baby. I’m- Aw…“

You choked up and he took that as his cue to pull you into his arms, careful to set the prickly plant down so you wouldn’t accidentally get hurt.

“It’s true though, my love will never die. You’re stuck with me for as long as you want me.”

“You know I’m shit at keeping plants alive, Son!” You couldn’t help the wavering in your voice, “Oh, but this is just so, so sweet. You’re just too cute for your own good.”

“Well, I was cute enough for you to accept the babbling guy who asked you out a year ago.” The giggling that followed made his blue eyes seem brighter.

“Yeah, I couldn’t say no to that face.”

You took the comfortable silence that ensued as a segue to your own offering to him, “Speaking of this cactus being put at the risk of dying, I’m gonna have to appoint someone to remind me it needs water every now and then.”

“I’m assuming that would be me?”

“Yup.” You shifted around to look through your purse. “So, I was thinking…”

Sonny narrowed his eyes at you, “Thinking…?”

You held out your palm and reached out for his, dropping a familiar weight into his hands. As soon as you pulled your hands away, the object revealed itself to be a single silver key with a brown leather strap keychain attached to the ring, ‘Det. Carisi’ engraved on one side and ‘Sonny’ on the other.

He looked up at you, meeting eager eyes that matched his own. You were practically bouncing with giddiness, excited to reach yet another milestone.

“Move in with me? Officially?”

God, you were so perfect.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

#sonny carisi #law and order svu #peter scanavino #dominick carisi #dominick sonny carisi #detective carisi #law and order svu imagine #sonny carisi x reader #carisi imagine #carisi x you #period fic

[daughterofcain-67]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊 (𝔭𝔱.1)

(Dean Winchester x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: (Right after Season 10 Episode 4) Sam and Dean have recently resumed hunting again after taking a short hiatus, then a phone call from Jody Mills peaks their interest and they want to make sure she’s alright. Meanwhile, you’re in the middle of adjusting to your new life, unfortunately your old life has a funny way of effecting you as a human.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: graphic implications and imagery of gore, violence, blood, mostly canon level but may not be suitable for all audiences.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this is the first chapter of a sequel to Raised in Blood, an MOC!Dean x Daughter of Cain/Demon reader fic. If you have not read that fanfiction first I suggest you do to understand what is happening in this first chapter and how Dean and the reader know each other. I hope you enjoy! ❤️

Previously…

“You aren’t staying.. are you?” Dean asked softly.

“You know that I can’t…”

“Y/N, those things I said.. None of that was all me. Being a demon changed almost everything about me. Honestly I don’t even think before I turned you and I even had a chance to really learn about each other.”

“Then how much of it really was you, Dean? Tell me? Was it the sleeping around with other girls? Was it the anger you felt when I was trying to look out for you? What was it?”

“That night was real… the moments before the battle with station were real when you were telling me about what the mark would do to me, those were real. When I thanked you for staying when Sam and I were split up, that was real.”

You shook your head. “It may have been real for a moment. But like you said, you and I didn’t have the time to really learn. All of this has been nothing but a scrambled mess and there was nothing solid for us.”

“If you go out there, it will be a lot more dangerous. You’re human now and there’s a lot more than just the First Blade that can kill you now.” Dean said, and you could detect the very same thing that he argued with you about - worry.

“Dean? I’ll be okay. I’ve had several centuries if not millennia of experience in combat. Plus I have this.” You said an you held out your arm. “You know it won’t let me die.”

You saw Dean frown for a moment and you sighed before you took a hand of his.

“I have to leave, Dean. I told your brother that I would help you with your mark. I’ve not been much help before you became a demon throughout this entire journey. You’re still stuck with the mark, and the cycle will continue for you if we can’t friend a way to free you from the burden. Now that you’re free from being a demon, it’s time to finally hold up my end of the bargain and see what I can do.”

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. Then he took one of your hands. Then he handed you his favorite pistol. He didn’t mind so much parting with it oddly enough. Especially when they had their own arsenal at the bunker.

“If I don’t see you again.. keep this. I know we may not have had the best time but… I do want you to have at least something good from this ordeal.”

You nodded as you started to go up the stairs where you saw Sam drinking some coffee. He deserved some downtime after a long several months of looking for Dean.

You walked over to Sam and you placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Look into the Book of the Damned.”

Now

Struggling to catch his breath while running as fast as his legs could carry him, Mikey was running as if his life depended on it. Mostly because it did depend on it .

Mikey had come across a lot of hunters in his day as a vampire but he had never seen anything this gruesome. He’d never seen someone act so ruthless, no one that refused to listen to reason. Never in his several decades of living as a vampire had he been so petrified. He was lucky he was even alive in this very moment.

He remembered the last few hours and he didn’t understand how things lead up to this. He had just gotten off work at a factory around midnight since work had started night shifts. He was hungry and it was easier for him to feed at night, naturally. But his nest had just had a big haul of animal load so he was just planning on returning home rather than being risky by going to a farm outside of town.

Besides, they had their own farm after all, he just needed to get home first. And finally, he did.

As Mikey returned to his ‘family’s’ farm, however, he caught the scent of something unfamiliar. Something human.

He thought that one human was no big deal. That the other fangs would be able to get this human taken care of especially if it was a hunter. They didn’t need any kind of trouble on their hands.

But instead, Mikey saw something that completely terrified him.

Outside of the house there were the bodies of his friends, Shane and Rory. They were headless, a sure sign that a hunter must’ve been there. But it was behind just a simple beheading. Mikey looked at the two corpses and saw several stab wounds to their chest. Mikey could smell dead man’s blood and he knew they must’ve been poisoned. Then, to the side, he saw an axe beside his two deceased friends, the blade was bloody.

Mikey thought it was a bit of overkill even for a hunter, but at least his friends seemed to have put up some kind of fight. Still, seeing Rory and Shane in this state made Mikey go queasy.

As Mikey walked further into the home he walked into a living room splattered with blood as if it had been some kind of horror scene. More of his friends, his family, were practically butchered inhumanely. Heads and bodies were severed, the furniture in disarray. But then Mikey could hear the commotion coming from upstairs.

With a gulp, Mikey made his way up the stairs and he saw a figure wearing a black hooded jacket. The figure seemed to look like a woman, so he was shocked that she seemed to be the only human in the house. He thought the nest was more than capable of handling one human, especially one that seemed so small as this person seemed to be.

But the moment that Mikey saw this human take her knife that looked liked it was dipped in dead man’s blood and the killer stabbed the leader in the beach so many times. Rather than killing the leader in one blow with a machete or an axe, this death seemed to take longer as the human stabbed his leader’s neck repeatedly until he was fully decapitated. The scene made Mikey want to vomit.

As he took a step backward, the floor creaked and that was his giveaway. He saw a pair of darkened, vicious eyes of a killer looking back at him. And that was when Mikey took off.

Mikey feared for his life and hoped he wouldn’t be found by this killer, but he was severely mistaken.

The roar of a motorcycle’s engine echoed through the forest and he heard a gunshot. The next thing he knew, Mikey fell to the floor, clutching his shoulder and he felt this intense pain, burning and he knew it was dead man’s blood. This hunter had come more than prepared.

As Mikey knelt on the ground, trying to find some sort of stick or something to dig the bullet out of his shoulder he heard the motorcycle come to a stop. Then he heard footsteps coming up behind him. When Mikey looked up, he saw the hunter standing over him, this time with a machete in her hand.

“I think I’ve had my fill for the night.”

That was the last thing Mikey heard before his head was severed off his shoulders, freeing him from this horrific nightmare.

Dean found himself in some large house, two stories, as if it belonged to some blue-collar respectable family. There were toys scattered about, trains and race cars and some of those mega blocks.

The pictures on the walls revealed that a family of four lived here. Husband and wife, and their two sons but they must’ve had a little girl on the way as one of the photos indicated some sort of baby shower. It seemed to be a sweet little family, at that only made the situation even more tragic.

As Dean desperately searched around the house to see if there were any survivors, he realized he was too late.

He peeked into the childrens’ room and saw they had been brutally murdered. Their little intestines splayed out of the boys’ bodies as they laid in a pool of their mixed blood. Then Dean ran into the master bedroom and saw that the married couple were nothing but a couple of corpses lying together on their bed. Their bodies mutilated much like the two boys.

As Dean searched the house for any sign of a monster, demon, or any other unnatural intruder. But as he looked he caught a glimpse of a masculine figure running past the hall. When Dean chased after it through, he came across a mirror and saw an image of himself with a sickening grin.

“Oh what the Hell is this?” Dean said, not having the time for these games but then a voice spoke, one that was his own and yet it wasn’t Dean speaking himself.

“Don’t you get it? You did this.” The demon said in the mirror and his eyes turned black.

“What? No i didn’t. I was on a hunt! Something else killed this family.” Dean argued and the demon version of himself smirked.

“Look down at your hands.” The vile thing insisted.

Dean hesitated before he lifted his hands from his sides so he could look down at them and sure enough, they were covered in blood. The same blood that belonged to this poor innocent family.

“No… I won’t go dark side again. I won’t let it happen.” Dean swore as he started to wipe the blood on the sleeves of his jacket, but the demon laughed almost maniacally.

“You can’t stop it. You accepted this curse, now you have to live with it. And you don’t even have anyone that can help you through it anymore.” The demon said and Dean instantly knew who he was talking about.

“How do you know she’s not in danger now? Maybe the mark will kill her if she hasn’t given into the mark’s urges yet. Maybe she’ll turn into a demon all over again because you didn’t urge her to stay.” The demon taunted.

“She will fall into the same darkness as you will. And there will be nothing either of you can do to stop it.”

Dean woke up in a cold sweat and it felt like his arm was being engulfed in flames. He had yet another nightmare, but he was no longer surprised at getting those anymore. He looked around his surroundings and realized he was in some low quality hotel room, remembering he and Sam had just completed a werewolf case.

The weird thing was the case nightmare Dean woke up from had nothing to do with this werewolf case. But the dream still felt all too real.

Ever since you left for whatever your reasons were, Dean started having nightmares about losing that control. He didn’t want to go down that demonic path again, couldn’t stomach the thought of it. He didn’t want to harm anymore people than he already did when he was a demon. The whole point of this job was to save people after all, yet Dean genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he saved someone’s life.

“You okay, Dean?” Dean heard his brother ask.

Dean lifted his head and saw Sam was already up and about. From the looks of it he had taken his shower- must’ve finished his morning run already.

“How long have you been up?” Dean asked and sat up with a groan.

“Since about five this morning. Early bird catches the worm you know.” Sam advised and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Whoever made up that bullshit can kiss my ass.”

Sam only laughed at his brother’s grumpy words but he couldn’t help but notice the was Dean put a hand over the mark. It had been six weeks since you had left and it didn’t look like it was for the better. Not on Dean’s part anyway. They had taken those several weeks and decided to take a little break from hunting up until this point.

“By the way… I got a call from Jody.” Sam said, trying to think of some way to distract Dean for a moment. He heard Dean let out a hum and took it as a sign to continue.

“She said that there was some sort of indescribable killings going on where she’s at. She doesn’t think it’s a demon, vampire, werewolf or something basic like that otherwise she would have it handled.” Sam disclosed and Dean lifted his head.

“How indescribable are we talking? It might not even be our kind of thing. What makes you think Jody needs our help with it?” Dean questioned with a hint of skepticism.

“Well… from what she said it looked like a massacre. We’re talking severed heads and from what she said the vics seemed to be vampires. But the way they were killed, she didn’t sound so sure if it was just a hunter going overboard or if it’s a creature with a vendetta and a heaping load of bloodlust.” Sam explained

“Well I guess we’d better be on our way. Besides, it’s been a while since we’ve seen her.” Dean agreed as he swung his legs over the side of the hotel mattress.

Sam watched as his brother gathered his belongings and he still wondered if Dean was really okay. Was the mark still continuing to bother him more than he let on? Of course it must’ve been. It was Dean! He wasn’t exactly known for sharing his burdens, and in the moments he did share, it was after Sam practically pried them out of him.

Still, Sam had to take your words to heart when you told him to look into what’s known as The Book of the Damned. But so far he was coming up with nothing, and in truth he wasn’t even sure where he should look first. It sounded like some sort of spell book, so maybe Crowley would know something about it, or maybe if they had a stroke of luck they would come across a witch that would know something about the book.

Sam still had some concerns about Dean hunting too. He knew Dean had been itching to get back into the hunting game again and Sam was initially hesitant about letting him on this case when it came to Kate. Dean had already almost killed Kate before they discovered she wasn’t the only werewolf on the case. Sam noticed that Dean seemed almost willing to do whatever he could to kill the werewolves and ignore the grey areas. At least that was the initial before Sam managed to talk Dean down and sort of negotiate with him at least for this case.

“Hey, if this thing with Jody ends up being something bigger than we think it is… maybe we should go back to the bunker. In the end it really could be nothing. But there’s always that slim chance.” Sam spoke.

Dean opened the door but when he heard his brother speaking, he turned around, “What, and leave Jody hangin’ like that? Hell no. We find out what the Hell is going on and we get it taken care of before something happens to Jody if she gets wrapped up in something worse than just a crazy hunter.”

Sam’s lips pressed into a thin line as he followed Dean out of the door and they began their drive to meet up with their friend.

Dean started the ignition of the Impala and of course the speakers blared the classic rock he listened to all the time despite Sam’s protests. As they drove, Dean tried his best to just focus on the road but his mind started to wander off again to that nightmare.

“Dean… on the hunt, on one of those drives… I know that you don’t really want to talk much about the mark and it’s hard for you to cope with, but you said that some parts of it were embarrassing. Do you still remember everything when you were a demon? You said the whole getting along with Crowley thing was embarrassing but… but what about…”

“Y/N?” Dean asked, knowing that Sam must’ve been itching to bring you up for the longest time, even though he was dreading it.

“Yeah. Y/N… are you ashamed of her or something? Like you are about your time with Crowley?”

Dean began to remember the night in Montana. He remembered the night you were initially trying to convince him to be partnered up with Crowley. A part of him wanted to be mad at you for getting him wrapped up with Crowley in the first place. That night started off as a negotiation tactic but he still remembered how you made it to where the mark didn’t hurt as much, remembered how you soothed it. He remembered your mixed feelings about the negotiations and he remembered that he was the one that told you to relax and it lead you to a night Dean would never forget, even if it would end up being nothing but a fling for you.

Then Dean began to remember the day you betrayed him, or at least the demon he became. He remembered the urge he had to kill you because of the hurt he felt because of what you had done. But now that he was human again, he knew you were only trying to help him out, do what was best so he wouldn’t get himself even deeper into trouble. Then there was the night in the bunker when he was chasing both you and Sam. He remembered all of the awful things he said to you out of his hurt.

But the moment he saw how much pain you were in, after he finally became human again, it killed Dean to see you going through that immense amount of pain. He remembered the tears of blood streaming from your eyes in the transition as he urged you to let go of everything that happened in those several months you spent together. Dean had to admit that he hated seeing you in such a condition but once you were human, he was glad it was over for you.

Ever since Dean changed back to being a human though, he tried not to think too much about what happened. He tried not to think so much about the attachment he had to you, and he told himself that he only felt the way that he did because of the stupid mark on his arm. He told himself that the moment he and Sam found a way to get rid of it, whatever he felt for you would finally go away. But despite what he told himself, he couldn’t help but wonder if you were okay, wonder if you were safe, if her were learning how to take care of yourself now that you were human.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice broke his train of thought and he tried to remember the question.

“No, I’m not embarrassed with what happened with her.” Dean said, hoping Sam would drop this sooner rather than later.

“Do you still think about her?” Sam continued.

“I try not to. After she left, I figure it’s better to just forget about her. As much as I can anyway. She doesn’t want anything to do with us anyway, isn’t that why she left?” Dean reminded.

“I don’t know about that…” Sam muttered to himself and Dean rolled his eyes before he turned up the radio.

Several hours went by and they finally made it to South Dakota and the two brothers made it to the sheriff’s office. Naturally the two of them were dressed in their monkey suits and Dean was the first to walk through the doors. Sheriff Mills as already inside and one of the officers gave her a little nudge and the woman glanced over just to see both Sam and Dean there.

She smiled at the both of them and started walking in their direction before greeting them.

“Hey there, Boys. Good to see you the both of you.” She grinned and hugged the both of them.

“Hey Jody.” Dean smiled and she pulled away before she handed Dean the file she was holding in her hands.

“These are pictures that CSI took when they got to the scene. They’re kind of gruesome.” She warned.

“We see gruesome stuff every day. I think we can handle it.” Sam commented as Dean opened up the file. Quickly, Sam took back his words when he saw the photos.

“Holy cow-“ Dean said as he looked at all of the bodies with the severed heads, the stab wounds. It was like a blood bath. A horror scene really, even for him to look at.

“When did this happen?” Sam asked as he looked at the sheriff once again.

“A couple of nights ago. No one was left alive. But from what I’m understanding when I looked at some of the bodies, they had fangs. Obviously the coroner didn’t know to look for something like that. Either way, this kind of thing is malicious and I didn’t know who to call other than the two of you. Is there any way a monster did this? I’d hate to think a hunter did this to such an extreme.”

“I’m not too sure of any hunters that would go to such an extreme, Jody. Dean and I will look into the case and see if they had some kind of enemies. Did any of these people have enemies? I mean other than hunters of course.” Sam said and Jodi shrugged.

“They seemed to be fairly normal. I didn’t even think they were vampires. They were pretty civil, kept a low profile. I know they never murdered anyone, must’ve used animal blood to live off of since we hadn’t heard of any murders until now. They were on a farm after all so it’s not like they were stealing animals from another person’s farm. They seemed self sufficient and didn’t cause problems for the community. That’s why I was shocked when I found out that the whole farm was nothing but a vampire nest. I haven’t made any connections to see who would have been their enemies.” Jody sighed.

Dean continued to look at the pictures. He had never heard of a hunter going ballistic like this, well maybe other than himself. But then he thought about the dreams he had. What if you had something to do with this? What if the mark as affecting you and you fell sooner than you thought you would. Maybe you couldn’t handle the side effects as a human.

Dean’s jaw tightened as he closed the file and looked at Sam and Jody as they talked, “What about outside of town? Have there been any suspicious newcomers that you can think of? Any businesses outside of town that your victim’s may have had any sort of trouble with?”

“I’m still trying to look into it. No newcomers to my knowledge, but as for any businesses like competing farms, I’m not so sure. But not all the family members worked on the farm. Some of them had other careers and we’re looking into other branches or businesses that may have been rubbed the wrong way by one of the family members.”

“Let Sammy and I handle that part of it. I’m sure you’ve already got enough on your plate as it is, being sheriff and all.” Dean insisted.

“Well, before the two of you go head first into it, why don’t you both come to my place? Have some grub? I’m sure it’s been a long drive.” Jody suggested and Dean smiled a little.

“Sure, we’d appreciate that a lot.” He said and Sam agreed.

Jody told her officers that she was going home and if they needed anything from her, she would be on call. With that, Sam and Dean left with Jodi and they followed her back to her home.

Once the three of them pulled up and got out of their cars, they made it to the front door and Jody unlocked the front door and let the two hunters into the house first before she walked in as well and shut the door behind her. There, Alex was lounging on the couch once the three of them walked in.

“Jody, you’re back.” Alex beamed but then she saw both Sam and Dean with her, it was as if her eyes lit up.

Alex got up and she walked over to Jody, “You should have at least given some kind of heads up. I would have made dinner if I knew we were having guests.”

“Don’t worry about it, Alex. Why don’t we just order a pizza or something? Won’t have to worry about dishes or anything.” Jody suggested with a chuckle and Alex just grinned and nodded before she went to the kitchen to make a phone call for the pizza.

“Hey, Jody? Is it alright if I get our normal clothes so Sam and I can change out of these Fed suits?” Dean asked and Jody smiled.

“Have at it.” Jody insisted and Dean walked out of the door. Then the woman turned to Sam.

“So… how is he doing? Last I heard he had some mark you told me about?” Jody asked after Dean shut the door to get the flannels.

Sam looked up at Jody and he sighed and nodded a little before he began to speak. “The whole Mark if Cain thing is just this big can of worms we spilt all over the place. So much has happened with him and the damned thing and now I wish he never accepted the mark.”

“Is he still in bad shape?” She asked. Sam shrugged a little.

“Right now it’s kind of hard to tell… Seriously, a lot of unthinkable has happened. Dean and I were helping our friend Castiel look for Metatron but Cas and I were worried about how the mark was affecting Dean. The whole reason he got the damned thing was to kill Metatron but it was starting to get to him. He was quickly becoming more violent and so Cas and I were looking into a person that could help. And we did.”

“Oh yeah? Well who was that?” Jody asked.

“Well, her name is Y/N. She uh… She also has the mark because she is the direct descendant of Cain, his daughter in fact.” Sam explained and Jody’s eyes went wide.

“Cain? As in Cain and Abel? And he has a daughter?”

“Yeah… what’s even better was that the last demon Dean killed, Abaddon? That was her mother. But surprisingly she’s the most unusual demon Dean and I have ever met.”

“Seems a little sketchy to me.”

“I don’t blame you for thinking that… but anyways, She was trying to help maintain Dean’s urges in killing, but after a fight with Metatron, Dean… well he died and came back to life as a demon because of the mark.He disappeared with Crowley and Y/N for several months, I think Y/N was mostly there for supervision then things went wrong and Crowley betrayed Dean, he and Y/N had a falling out, so they contacted me and with Castiel’s help we found a cure for Dean and we turned him back into a human.” Sam said.

Jody’s eyes went wide, trying to think of a way to possibly take everything in, “Wow… and what about Y/N?”

“Y/N.. welll shockingly she wanted to be there at the bunker to support Dean and get him back to being human. And once that happened… she asked me to turn her into a human with the same cure. It worked and now she’s human and… well she left.”

“A demon. A demon asked you to make her human? That is weird. Even for the two of you. How do you know she’s trustworthy?”

“Trust me, Jody… If you met her, you may even like her. Even if she was a demon once.” Sam vouched for you.

“And Dean? How is he holding up after being changed into a human again?” She asked and Sam bit his lip a little.

“Honestly I don’t know. He’s on edge but he refuses to talk that much about it. He is a little antsy, when he kills a monster, it’s close to overkill. I think we should have asked Y/N to stay because when she was around, she was sort of like a harness, some sort of way for Dean to direct his urges on the right things at least.”

Jody lifted a brow and crossed one leg over the other as she listened, “Sounds like the two of them had some sort of weird chemistry. How’s Dean holding up with her leaving?”

“He prefers not to talk about it. She’s human now and he’s all about the whole not wanting to get her into more trouble I guess. He’s just in a weird spot I guess. I think he just doesn’t want to go down that dark of a road again.” Sam admitted.

“Yeah… guess I can understand that.” She agreed but then she heard the door open up and Dean walked through.

Dean shut the door behind him and tossed Sam his clothes before Jody directed Dean to the bathroom to go change. Then Jody turned to Sam once more.

“Whatever he’s going through, I think you may need to consider finding her again. A guy like Dean doesn’t deserve to go down that road all over again.”

St. Paul, Minnesota.

You could feel the wind in your hair was your rollerblades carried you through town. You had taken a break from the tattoo career and decided you didn’t want to go back home to Cincinnati. Instead, you were traveling and learning new things. Sure you could have rented or even bought a different mode of transportation and you knew at one point you needed to insider it, but you wanted to explore on foot for a while, see how other people in your condition coped. Be a little nomadic for a while.

For the most part, traveling had been a good enough distraction from what you were deep down. After all, just because you were human now didn’t mean it got rid of all the skeletons in your closet. You still had a cross to bear and you were still trying to find a way to cope with certain urges.

So far you had ridden a train for the first time, which was how you got from Sam and Dean’s bunker to South Dakota, then you decided to hike to Minnesota, which was why you were here. People were interesting to say the least, you were learning a lot about humans. Some were kind, some were not so kind, others were outrageously hateful, and the ones few and far between were like saints.

You continued to skate around but then you could hear some distinct shouting. “Hey, look out!

The next thing you knew you crashed onto the ground but rather than feeling the hard concrete of the sidewalk beneath you, you felt something hard beneath cloth. When you opened your eyes and looked down, you realized you crashed into a man.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” You exclaimed and you got off him and tried to get up without rolling over his fingers or toes.

“Oh no, it’s fine. Accidents happen all the time.” The stranger said as he got up and dusted himself off and he looked at you. You were shorter than him even with the skates and he looked down at you.

“Are you alright? You aren’t hurt are you?” You asked, feeling so flushed, embarrassed. Feelings that were new to you but they were happening more often and you found it happened when you weren’t so cautious.

“Trust me, I’m alright.” The man chuckled and smiled at you. His eyes were a deep brown like his hair, he had some stubble but it suited him well. He was cute, you had to admit.

“Again, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” You questioned, honestly feeling so terrible but you were thankful that the man seemed pretty forgiving for the most part.

“Well, I suppose you could… accompany me to dinner tonight? I was on my way to find somewhere to go before I was crashed into.” He smirked, putting his hands into the pockets of his jeans and you were stunned he was asking you to dinner, but you supposed it was the least you could do. Plus, you were starting to get hungry. Sometimes it was challenging maintaining a human body when it hungered.

“Well if we’re going out to dinner, don’t you think we should at least know each other’s names?” You questioned and he let out a little chuckle.

“Gotcha. Well, my name’s Ricky. And what might your name be?”

“Y/N.” You replied with a grin and he smiled back at you. It was a charming little grin so you couldn’t complain.

“Y/N… beautiful name. So, do you have some normal shoes to wear if we’re going out to dinner?” Ricky asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got some in my backpack. I just need someplace to sit so I can put them on.” You insisted and Ricky nodded and he walked with you to a bench close by his car. You sat down and started taking off the roller blades. You took your tennis shoes from your backpack and put them on your feet and when you put your roller blades away, you stood up and Ricky started walking with you to the car.

Ricky was a gentleman, at least that was your first impression, and he opened up the car door for you. You thanked him and got inside the car. Then when Ricky started the car, he started driving off.

“So, how long have you been rollerblading?” Ricky asked as he hopped onto the road.

“Not long. Maybe a few weeks. Trying to pick up new hobbies. I’m not really that good, barely know how to use the breaks on these things.” You laughed and Ricky just grinned.

“Hey, it’s good to try something new. And you’ll get better with practice.” He said and you shrugged a little.

“I may pawn these off. Maybe I can get a few bucks off these before I head out of town.”

“Out of town?” Ricky asked, your statement peaking his interest and you nodded a little.

“Yeah… I’m a bit of a traveler.”

“Oh yeah? Where all have you gone?” Ricky continued.

“I’ve just come from South Dakota, hiked from there to here. I’m from Cincinnati but after a falling out with a certain group of people I’m… trying to find myself. So I figure traveling around may be the way to go at least for the time being.” You admitted and Ricky lifted a brow.

“You thought traveling around like some kind of vagabond would be a good idea? You must be awfully brave.” He said, “You know some people think that’s really dangerous. People get killed like that.”

“Trust me, I’m more than capable of handling myself.” You insisted, although you were now hating just what you were capable of. Something about the human conscience.

“I see… well, just be careful. You never know what kind of people are out there.” Ricky advised.

“Thanks for the advice.” You said and Ricky grinned.

“So.. what are you in the mood for? My treat.” He insisted and you glanced over at him.

“But… I’m the one that ran into you, shouldn’t it be my treat?” You said with confusion.

“No, you’re paying me back by being my company, remember?” He reminded you and you smiled.

“Well… I’m not that sure of where to go. I don’t really know of many good places here so your guess is as good as mine.”

“Well, why don’t we try Mexican?” He suggested and you nodded.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” You agreed and not long after the decision was made, the two of you found a spot and Ricky parked his car in one of the parking spots. He opened the door for you once more and you thanked him before stepping out of the vehicle.

You and Ricky walked inside and the hostess lead you both to a booth where the two of you sat and continued a conversation. It was surprisingly easy to talk to him, for a stranger.

“So, Ricky. What’s a guy like you doing asking strange rollerblading girls out to dinner?” You asked with a little grin and Ricky hummed a little.

“Actually, I’m sort of on a road trip myself with some friends of mine. We’re on our way to New York. I have a friend who’s a Broadway fanatic and he invited me and some other friends to come along. We’re coming from Montana and we stopped here to take a bit of a break from driving.” Ricky explained and you lifted a brow.

“Broadway, huh? What are guys planning on watching?” You asked.

“I think it’s called Little Shop of Horrors? Something about some man eating plant. I don’t think it will be my kind of thing since I’m not really a theatre kind of guy but hey, gives me something to do. It’s New York after all. Not every day you get to go.” He said and you nodded.

“Sounds like a fun adventure. I hope you and your friends have a great time.” You insisted.

“Yeah, me too. We’re headed out tomorrow morning.” He insisted and you hummed a little, but then one of the waiters came by to take your order. When the both of you placed your orders the waiter left yet again.

“So what sort of falling out did you have, if you don’t mind me asking? I mean you couldn’t have just woken up one day and decided to leave everything behind.” You heard Ricky say and you looked down at your drink, stirring the straw around.

“It’s… kind of a long story.” You admitted.

“I’ve got all night, and we may never see each other again so any secrets you’ve got are practically safe with me.” He pointed out and you supposed he was right about that.

“Well… when I lived in Cincinnati I was a tattoo artist. Had my own business and I was doing fine for about four years. Then these couple of guys came to my door and practically changed my life. They were brothers and they needed my help with something for their job. After I did what I could I kind of stuck around and one of them, named Dean, well he got into some serious trouble. He needed some help and I had experience in what he was struggling with and I was trying to make sure he wasn’t digging a grave for himself if he insisted on staying on the path he was on.” You said.

“Path? Was it like a drug problem or something?” He asked.

“Something like that. An addiction of sorts I guess. Anyway, it was killing him in a way but when he finally decided he didn’t want my help, I turned him over to his brother, Sam. After that, Dean was able to get better and things got squared away on his end. Then I decided to leave. For my sake I think it was better if I just left.” You sighed.

“What makes you say that? Was Dean an asshole or something? Did you have some kind of fling or something other complication?” He asked and you let out a bitter chuckle.

“You must be good at guessing… Yeah, we had a fling. It only happened one time, but a few nights before I left completely there was this argument we had and that’s what caused the falling out. He didn’t want my help anymore, so that was when I turned him over to Sam. It was better off that way.” You sighed and Ricky let out a hum.

“You sound like you don’t completely believe that.”

“I do,” You insisted, “but there are times when I wonder if I should have gone back to Ohio. Then again they knew where my shop was and I didn’t exactly want Sam or Dean to find me.”

“Ahh… that.. sort of makes a little sense? I guess?” He said unconvincingly, but that was when Ricky’s phone started ringing.

“Excuse me, I have to take this call.” He said and you nodded in understanding as he excused himself.

Several moments passed by after he excused himself to go outside and you started to grow worried. Had Ricky really ditched you? He seemed like a really nice guy so you hoped that wasn’t the case. But you supposed you could never know with certain strangers. Suddenly, out of nowhere came a bloodcurdling cry.

Someone ran inside and when you looked over, a woman was running through the front door of the restaurant.

“Someone call an ambulance! A man was attacked outside!” She exclaimed.

You stood up and ran out of the door, knowing you weren’t the only one that went to the door to see what happened. However, you were one of the first ones there and you saw Ricky there in a pool of his own blood, his chest ripped open and his intestines were on the ground. You head a few gagging noises and more screams of people that were’t used to seeing such a sight, but you. Scanned the area for anyone suspicious.

Then, you caught a glimpse of someone dressed in black running away. You took it upon yourself to run after the person and they saw you running, chasing them. The culprit started running faster and faster and you picked up your own speed just to follow them down some sort of alley.. When you did, they were cornered.

This person you could tell wasn’t anyone good. You knew they had something to do with Ricky’s death. Something deep inside you was beginning to cloud your mind, as much as you were trying to keep it at bay. The mark on your arm began to burn, giving you that thirst for bloodlust you had been doing so well at maintaining.

You slowly stepped forward, pulling out a knife from your jacket, “Now why would you go and ruin a perfectly good date. He was just a guy on the phone.”

“A wolf’s gotta eat you know. And I’m more than happy to claim seconds.” The creature said as its eyes changed color, fingernails turning to claws, teeth becoming fangs.

When the beast lunged forward, you got cut on your cheek. Of come it stung like Hell but no wasn’t the time to be fascinated by the fact you didn’t heal automatically. You felt that darkness overtake you and you started fighting back despite the werewolf’s inhuman strength and you used the blade, stabbing it in the heart.

It cried out and it fell to the side and you moved to where you were straddling it. You lifted the knife over your head and started stabbing the creature repeatedly in the chest, wanting to make sure it was gone for good.

What made you stop was the voices coming closer, asking if they heard some kind of commotion. You looked down at the blood on your hands, knowing this wouldn’t be good. You collected your composure before you ran off into the night, knowing that this would be an area you couldn’t visit again.

As you were running into the night, the smallest part of you wondered if you made a mistake by leaving Sam and Dean. You wondered if this adjustment would be too much to handle. After all, this was your first kill in weeks, what if things got worse and you found yourself turning into a murderer again? You wondered if you should risk the call.

As you ran through the woods, you found a cabin. You hoped it was abandoned and you rushed towards it. You peeked inside the windows and realized it didn’t look like anyone had been there in a long time. So you went to the back door to see if it was locked and luckily for you, it wasn’t. So you went inside and hoped you could lie low here at least for the night.

You collapsed on the couch and lied there, then you started to think of the feelings you had when you killed the werewolf.

These new feelings you were having were making you feel sick to your stomach at the fact that a part of you, the deepest and darkest part of you enjoyed the kill.

But it wasn’t human. The thing you killed was evil! It would have killed other unsuspecting humans just to eat their hearts. You did what a hunter would do and there was nothing wrong with that! At least that was what you were trying to convince yourself of. Just because it was a monster didn’t mean it needed the overkill.

You wondered if that sickening enjoyment was hereditary. You hoped that it wasn’t.

You lifted an arm and rolled up your sleeve to reveal the mark. You hated what it was putting you through, hated the price that came with the mark. You weren’t sure if Sam found any leads on the Book of the Damned but you hoped he would find some clues soon for Dean’s sake. He deserved to be free from this curse.

You, however… you deserved the burden after all you’ve done in your centuries of existence. You deserved the endless Hell.

It wasn’t something you could escape from like you tried to do with the little date with poor Ricky… there would always be monsters out there.

And you were one of them.

Tag List:

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[aprocessionofthoughts]

To lose control

ai-less whumptober 2023 day 6- mind control fandom- Danny Phantom x DC TW- loss of control summary- Danny's been working part time for the JLD when they come across and artifact he'd hoped to never see again.

ao3 ai-less whumptober masterlist Part 1 of ITR

Danny had been a consultant for the Justice League and part time member to the JLD for over a year now.

They both thought he was just a human with a connection to the occult. He planned to keep it that way. He didn’t really want to get back into hero-ing. He had had enough of that and was quite happy that most of his rogues were now his friends. And any ghost that wasn’t friendly was often taken care of by his parents who had greatly changed their views after he had told them his secret.

With his luck, he should have known that all his work at keeping Phantom a secret from the heroes would eventually go down the drain.

********

Danny paced by the side of the warehouse waiting for the League to finish taking down the summoners. He was merely here to help with the cleanup and to help determine which artifacts were dangerous and to collect any tomes for the JLD to review later.

Danny thought that Constantine could handle that on his own, but apparently since he was still ‘new’ the League had thought it necessary to send him so he could get more experience.

Finally, his comm dings and he makes his way to the door.

Constantine is inside along with the Bats, Danny really only recognizes Batman and the current Robin, the rest look familiar but he can’t remember any names. 

Though that one with the red helmet sure feels familiar. Almost as if…

He’s cut off from that train of thought when he senses pick up another familiar energy reading. One that makes him freeze in place, eyes wide.

“What’s wrong?”

Danny stumbles back. Holy Ancients! That’s Batman. How had he gotten so close without Danny noticing? Oh right, he was distracted by the energy he had hoped to never feel again, already he could feel memories trying to pull him into a panic.

Danny ignores the Bat who’s looming over him in favor of looking around the room. There was obviously a fight and Danny can see a summoning circle in the center of the open space with knocked over candles around the edge and piles of scattered herbs. The scent was making his nose prickle.

Danny ignored it as well as the Bat who seemed to be getting broodeir. Where was… There. He zeroed in on one of the cultists. A cultist who was wearing a necklace with a red gem. A very familiar red gem. 

Danny lets out a small gasp and Batman follows his gaze, his own eyes narrowing. 

“What is it?” 

Constantine is turning to them too, as are the other Bats.

“What’s wrong, mate?”

Danny can see the other Bats tensing,

Danny opens his mouth to tell them about the dangerous artifact, no need to tell them about said artifact’s abilities, when the cultist looks up and meets Danny’s eyes. Then he grins his eyes glowing faintly as the shard of crystal also glows.

“Look what we have here.” comes the raspy voice. “And here I’d been upset when our ritual was ruined.”

“What’s he talking about?” says the bat with a blue bird shape across his chest. Robin is starting to approach the cultist. 

“His necklace—”

“Stop.” says the man and Danny’s jaw clamps shut. He can feel the Red starting to haze his vision and he fights against it.

“Mind.. control..” he rasps, his body twitching as it fights to throw off the gem’s effects.

Robin has nearly reached the cultist. 

“Stop him.”

Between one blink and the next Danny finds himself having flung Robin away. Everyone is ready to fight now and the Red is still fighting to take over his vision.

“Run!” he manages. He doesn't want to fight them. Not if they don’t have the proper equipment. They don’t know what he is, what he can do. He doesn’t want to hurt anybody, except maybe the cultist.

“Strange, that you have a ghost working for you. Though I’ve never seen one look so human before.” Danny hears the cultist say, but he can’t move. He feels like a passenger in his own body. He can see everyone giving each other uncertain looks. They haven’t moved yet, but they will soon if they don’t think Danny’s a threat.

The bats have started to move towards him when the cultist says, “Attack.”

Danny feels the Red wash over him as he fires an ecto-beam at the nearest bat. At the last second, Danny’s able to redirect it to miss.

At least everyone’s on higher alert now.

But his body keeps trying to attack everyone and even though he’s fighting it, Danny knows it will only be so long before he succumbs to the Red. 

As he’s grappling with Batman he manages to grunt through gritted teeth, “Find– Manson–” 

Then the cultist shrieks, “Get over here!” and Danny finds himself putting up a shield between the cultist and the hero wearing black and blue. “Get me out of here.” the cultist growls.

Danny turns to grab him, making them both invisible and intangible as the Red drowns him.

He can only hope that they’ll find his friends before he does anything too terrible.

Then, there is only Red.

#ailesswhumptober #ailesswhumptober2023 #day 6 #mind control #Danny phantom #batman #dp x dc #dp x dc au #fanfiction #Danny fenton #john constantine #bruce wayne #all the other bats are mentioned #hurt/no comfort #open ending #cultists #in the red

[seireitonin]

“Toby/ other characters would be an abuser!1!” A talk on why that pisses me off

Hi. My name is Seirei. I don’t want to share super personal shit on the internet, but due to certain factors in my life I have BPD. (this is NOT self diagnosis. I have been to a professional and for now they think I have this due to certain trauma/ symptoms I’ve shown) This is part of the cluster B personality type. That being said Toby and many other creepypasta characters either canonically have ASPD/ BPD or it’s a generally accepted headcanon that they do. Now this in itself doesn’t bother me if it’s done well and with research. But the problem is most ppl just slap these labels onto them without doing the proper research. I’ve gotten multiple comments on my TikTok like “well I think Toby is an abuser bc he has ASPD/ BPD” I hate that. I hate that so much. You guys say it’s for “realism” but you’re just demonizing mental disorders. You’re demonizing people like me. In you having your “realism” youre hurting me and ppl in the cluster B personality type. ASPD/ BPD doesn’t instantly make you an abuser. These are personality disorders brought on trauma. Especially trauma with parents/ family. People with ASPD/ BPD know that we’re not well all the time. We’re suffering from disorders that affect our lives. From trauma/ experiences that we didn’t ask for. These are DISORDERS. These aren’t fake edgy illnesses that you can slap onto a character with no thought when you want them to be angsty. For example when ppl say “Toby would be an abuser/ not be capable of love because of his ASPD and he went through abuse in his past” not only are you taking away the depth of his character, you’re just straight up demonizing mental disorders. If you read his story, he loves his mom and sister so much. People with ASPD can love. But it does cause him to be obnoxious and rude. But this isn’t coming from a place of malice. He’s a traumatized man w a disorder! This isn’t me saying Toby can do no wrong and he’s 100% healthy. Toby definitely has issues and I’d never erase that. But to call him an abuser because he has ASPD is so gross and you’re just demonizing ASPD to be edgy without doing research on it or the cluster B personality type in general. As I said before, people with cluster B personality type KNOW we have disorders. We live with them every day. They affect our lives, our relationships, ourselves. We know that we fuck up and what we do isn’t healthy all the time. We KNOW. We’re not doing it because we’re “abusers” we’re suffering and hurting. Again this isn’t me saying that everyone with BPD/ ASPD is a good person who’s willing to do the work and grow. There are bad people with these disorders. But that doesn’t mean everyone who has them are instantly abusive. I’m not an abuser at all. Never have been and never will be. But BPD does affect me and the way I act that can come off as hurtful/ unhealthy and I KNOW THAT. Im always actively putting in the work to be better, like a lot of people with ASPD/ BPD. Just because we have these disorders doesn’t instantly mean we can’t change/ be better. Doesn’t mean we’re not humans with emotions/ trauma of our own. Toby obviously had to do some kind of inner work to be able to be with Clockwork the way kastoway portrayed them. (If it’s canon or not is irrelevant here)When you say shit like “Toby is abusive bc of ASPD/ BPD” that’s what you’re telling us you think of us. You see us and treat us like monsters but then talk about how much you love Toby/ other characters for having our very real disorder. ASPD/ BPD can be seen as two sides of the same coin. They have so many similarities but are shown in different ways. Do proper research before you talk about mental health because you’re stigmatizing/ demonizing disorders that are already looked down upon. Toby does canonically have ASPD and possibly BPD but it’s written into his character pretty well(as well as a 13 year old in the 2010s can do) and now that ppl are older we can actually analyze his character/story correctly. But Jeff and many other characters still aren’t getting this same treatment and they need it.Do better.

#creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta characters #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #crp #ticci toby #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby hc #ticci toby hcs #jeffthekillerhcs #jeffthekiller #seireitonin

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Since you're familiar with tokusatsu actors and their journeys into BL, what kinds of careers historically have tokusatsu actors had as they start to get more credits and mature?

Thank you for the ask! This is a great question. It’s something I’ve been curious about for a while, as you know.

I never get tired of this gif of Seto Toshiki (a Kamen Rider alum with two BLs under his belt) eating cake. (It's from Kamen Rider Ex-Aid, which he starred in with Iijima Hiroki of Our Dining Table fame.)

Oh, I should probably say at the outset that I'm talking about the suit transformation type of tokusatsu shows here. Technically the category is broader and also includes kaiju movies, but I'm focusing here on the kind of tokusatsu series in which human characters (or human-like ones) transform into masked heroes. I think that's what you had in mind, Ben, and it's the type of tokusatsu that tends to overlap with the BL world.

Another thing you'll notice is that I'm mostly going to talk about men here. Tokusatsu has been making some progress as a genre when it comes to gender equity, but it still has a long way to go. And since most of the progress that has happened, like the increase in female Riders, has been in the last few years, the actors who played those characters haven't had much of a subsequent career yet.

Now, to your question.

Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out a way to really look at this systematically. So, definitely take my conclusions with a grain of salt. (If anyone reading this knows more about this or has thoughts about how to get more/better info, I'd love to hear them.) The main source of information I have--aside from just soaking stuff up from watching tokusatsu shows and reading toku fans' tumblrs, of course--is looking at toku actors’ entries on MDL and seeing how many roles they’ve gotten, if they’re “guest,” “support,” or “main” roles, and trying to find out about the type of shows and movies they’re in.

One of the biggest weaknesses to this approach as an American viewer is that it's usually hard for me to tell what constitutes a popular or prestigious series or film even if I go to the listings for specific shows/films. I should also note that one thing that biases my “data” (to use the term loosely) is the fact that I’m more likely to look up this information about actors I like. Well, occasionally I’ll also look at info on some sample of actors out of curiosity, like a bunch of lead Ultraman actors’ subsequent careers or something like that. But it's usually more random.

A little background. As you're aware, tokusatsu roles often go to younger actors who don't have much previous experience. They tend to function both as a way of getting a foothold in the industry (building a resume, starting a fanbase, etc.) and as a way of learning on the job. Part of the reason they work so well in this regard is that they have long seasons. Ultraman seasons are typically around 25 episodes long, which is pretty long compared to many shows in Japan, but Kamen Rider and Super Sentai seasons are usually around 50 episodes long. This means two things: a toku part gets you a lot more of the aforementioned work experience than you'd get in other genres, and it provides a solid year of consistent work with additional work to follow (particularly hard to come by in Japan's entertainment industry, from what I understand). The additional work is substantial, too. There are typically post-series TV movies and touring live shows and there are often guest spots on other series in your franchise.

When it comes to landing other roles, as in other types of media, it makes a big difference what type of role you had. This is stating the obvious, I know, but there are some specific ways this works with tokusatsu series, and it relates to who ends up in BLs and in what capacity. So, all of the big three tokusatsu franchises are pretty ensemble-based but they still have distinct leads and some degree of a hierarchy of roles. Ultraman has the strongest leads, Kamen Rider has lead/title Riders and secondary (and often tertiary) Riders, and Super Sentai shows are especially ensemble-y (the word sentai basically means "squad," after all) but they always have some kind of group leader.

When I look up subsequent work by tokusatsu actors who had sizable roles in their toku series--lead roles, or other parts that are what MDL would call "main" roles--what I see most often is a lot of supporting and guest roles in a variety of TV shows and some films. You can usually find a smattering of lead roles as well, but if you look closely they may turn out to be smaller productions (but not always). When it comes to the number/frequency of credits, there's a lot of variation but an average case would be 2-3 such credits per year. Like I mentioned above, it's hard for me to tell how desirable/prestigious/well-paying those guest and supporting roles are. But they don't usually seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrel or anything. So, yeah. Lots of these actors have different paths, but this is what I see most frequently.

Given how challenging it is to make a career out of acting in Japan, this is nothing to sneeze at. Despite its relative influence, the Japanese entertainment industry is still comparatively small, and there are only so many opportunities. In that context, regularly getting guest and supporting gigs constitutes a pretty uncommon level of success.

Could these folks support themselves on this amount of work? I often see just a few credits per year, so maybe not. But when I like a one of these actors enough to follow them on socials, it usually seems like they are supplementing those parts with other stuff like stage plays, toku fan appearances, modeling gigs, or other types of performance including music. Even with these different sources of income, some probably still can't live on their entertainment industry pay alone. But it appears that some can.

So that's the most common thing. One less common outcome is leaning really hard into being a tokusatsu actor for life. It's not typical to get significant roles in multiple toku shows, but it does happen. And some actors manage to play the same character in a lot of post-series movies, miniseries, etc. stretching out for years after their actual series. For example, Tsuruno Takeshi, who played Ultraman Dyna's human host Shin Asuka, has been in ten different Ultraman things including his main series, a short series, a lot of TV movies, and a special. Dyna aired in 1997, and his last appearance as Asuka was fairly recent, in 2016. That's almost a 20-year span. Yet Tsuruno has never had a non-Ultraman main character part. (Though this is partly because he seems to have focused more on his music career and related variety show type things post-Dyna.) There are even some actors who are tokusatsu superfans whose whole career plan is centered on the genre from the get-go.

For those who are looking to branch out, there are a lot of trajectories. So I'll try to talk about some of them through a few examples.

Takeda Kouhei

You probably knew I was going to bring him up. On Kamen Rider Kiva, Takeda's character was important but not the lead (he played the main character's father in the 1980s, in a timeline that ran parallel to the present day one). That was in 2008, when he was 22. Nine years later, in 2017, he was in Kamen Rider Build, in which he was the "tertiary" Rider. This character was a potato farmer-turned-antihero. As tertiary Riders go, he was pretty popular. But Takeda seemed to be mostly hovering at a certain level at that point. Then Old Fashion Cupcake happened. It's significant that he went from playing supporting characters (albeit important ones) to a lead character in OFC. It's also helpful that OFC came out at a point when the prestige of BLs was on the rise. It seems like Takeda has had more consistent and larger parts since then. The difference isn't night and day or anything, but it's observable.

If you look at Takeda's Build costars, Inukai Atsuhiro and Akaso Eiji, here’s what you'll find. Akaso has a similar trajectory to Takeda's only somewhat steeper. His role on Build (the secondary Rider) was a bit bigger, he seemed to get slightly bigger roles overall after Build, and Cherry Magic gave him a significant boost from there. Inukai had a bigger upswing early on followed by slower growth that still had him outstripping both Akaso and Takeda. From what I can tell, his “data” more closely resembles that of Yamada Yuki, who I’ll talk about in a second, though they have different niches.

Suda Masaki

Suda Masaki was only 16 when he played the main rider in Kamen Rider W in 2009, which is unusually young. (W has a unique premise where two different people inhabit the same Rider, so Suda played a lead rider but so did his costar Kiriyama Renn.) From what I can tell, he seems to have had a pretty organic path to larger and larger roles while varying genres and styles quite a bit. At this point he's definitely a very respected actor. (One interesting bit of trivia: Hagiwara Riku has said Suda is his biggest acting role model.) He's won two Japan Academy Film Prizes and been nominated three more times. I don't know of a more successful ex-tokusatsu lead. Actually, I looked him up for this post to fill in some details and found out for the first time that he also has a pretty successful career as a jpop musician. It's almost annoying that he's that talented in yet another area.

I don't see any indication that Suda has ever played a queer character, though he has definitely done some pretty bromantic stuff. He did kiss a man once in a drama series, but it was for plot reasons and was 100% played for laughs in a gross way. He also played a gender nonconforming character in the 2014 live action version of Princess Jellyfish. (Another bit of trivia: when another live action adaptation of Princess Jellyfish was released in 2018, the same character was played by another former lead Rider, Seto Koji from Kiva.) I wouldn't put it past Suda to play a queer character, if it was for a highbrow movie or something analogous to what Nishijima Hidetoshi has done in What Did You Eat Yesterday?, but I'm also not holding my breath.

Yamada Yuki

A less extreme case. Yamada was on Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger. He was the blue member of the team, a soldier-turned-pirate. It may have helped Yamada along later on that Gokaiger is an especially popular Sentai series. Post-Gokaiger, Yamada didn't have any sort of big breakout role that I can find. It just seems like fairly soon after Gokaiger, he started having significant roles in TV dramas and has pretty much continued from there, with some upward momentum but no huge changes. When he was in a drama with Akaso Eiji recently, his part was first billed and a smidge bigger. Yamada's trend line seemed to have a biggish upward swing early and then just a slight slope from there. But I just saw him in something different: he plays the younger member of the minesweeper crew in Godzilla Minus One. I wonder if that will mark any sort of shift for him.

Yamada hasn't played any queer characters as far as I can tell. His Sentai role was shippy as hell, though. It's a tradition among Sentai shows that subtext-level queer ships happen between the red and blue team members, and that's exactly what happened in Gokaiger. Sometimes the subtext pretty much became text. If magazine images from that time are any indication, their relationship seems to have been a promotional angle for the show. There's even one where they seem to be in some kind of high school AU that looks like it's straight out of a BL.

what about women?

I tried looking up a few women I know from tokusatsu roles while I was looking up these and other dudes. Some of them were still in the business, at least. Some were getting the same trickle of guest and supporting parts a lot of men do after a tokusatsu show. A few had a slightly bigger trickle. But many of them seemed to have disappeared from the public eye entirely. Not only are women underrepresented in tokusatsu, and not only are their roles often relatively small and two-dimensional, but it doesn't seem like they get even a slight career boost after these roles.

It's possible this will change for some of the actors who got bigger, more interesting toku roles in recent years. Here's hoping!

The changing relationship between tokusatsu and BL

The relationship between tokusatsu and BL has been changing as BL gains more prestige, like I alluded to when I talked about Takeda Kouhei. There was a time when they seemed to be pretty analogous in terms of how hard it was to get a role and how effective they were as rungs on a career ladder. If you went from being a tokusatsu side character to a BL lead (like Takeda), that was a step up, but only because you were shifting from a supporting spot to a lead one. Tokusatsu leads usually didn't usually do BL or, when they did, only played straight supporting roles. I think it was seen as a lateral move. But now, BL is becoming a very established next step after tokusatsu. It's like BL has moved up in status so that the consensus is that it's above tokusatsu on the ladder, but just by a little bit. It's also kind of an organic transition since we're seeing more queer ships in tokusatsu that, while they mostly happen on a subtext level, are close to being canon (and in some cases, arguably already are). It occurred to me while I was writing this that there's also another type of role that is in a similar zone of accessibility and prestige to both tokusatsu and BL. It's a franchise, not a genre, but with so many movies and such huge casts it almost functions like a genre for the purpose of this discussion. I'm talking about the High&Low movies. If you're a fan of tokusatsu or BL, you'll see actors you know in every High&Low movie and if you're a fan of both, you'll see tons.

Case in point: Here's our ol’ pal Yamada Yuki. He's in quite a few High&Low installments. If only he’d do a BL and complete the trifecta! The only person I know of offhand who’s done a tokusatsu show, a BL, and a High&Low role is Takeda. I bet there are others, though.

the new (?) prestige tokusatsu

There's another piece to this I should probably point out as well. In recent years there have been some more high-budget, prestigious takes on existing tokusatsu properties. First, Anno Hideaki, who's best known for the Evangelion anime series/films, put out three live action features that are new, well-financed takes on three big tokusatsu properties: Shin Godzilla, Shin Ultraman, and Shin Kamen Rider.

Last year there was also a Kamen Rider series geared toward adults that had higher-than-usual production values called Kamen Rider Black Sun. It did that “you can tell our show is for adults because it's all gritty and grimdark" thing, which I'm not a fan of. But it definitely had its points.

Really distinguished actors starred in both the Shin movies and Black Sun, including Nishijima Hidetoshi, who's about as distinguished as it gets. Nishijima was in both Shin Ultraman (in an important supporting role) and Black Sun (as a co-protagonist--and he's the biggest highlight of the series). So these are examples of toku media that are too prestigious to be a springboard into the industry for most actors.

This seems to be a new phenomenon, though I could be wrong about that. I don’t expect the trend will continue at this pace (after all, so much of it is attributable to Anno alone and I don't think he'll continue down this path indefinitely), but I bet some other shows/movies in this vein will come out sooner or later.

Here’s Nishijima doing a henshin sequence. He does these moves with such commitment. Is there anything he can't do?

before tokusatsu

As I was writing this, it got me thinking about what actors do before their tokusatsu roles as well as after. It's not uncommon for toku roles to be someone's debut, but that's not really the norm. Even when it is, most of those actors were doing something in the realm of performing or modeling beforehand. I don't usually look at this sort of information as much as I do later roles when I'm investigating toku actors I like. So I looked up some people to try to get a sense of where the actors tend to have done before their toku parts.

There's one starting point that a whole bunch of tokusatsu leads share: winning the Junon Super Boy Contest. When I first saw references to it, I thought, OK, this is some kind of national talent contest. I guess there are probably lots of them. But when I looked for others, I didn't see anything come up. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places or using the right search terms. But I think maybe this contest might be pretty unique in Japan.

It's run by a magazine called Junon and, well, if I describe how it works it's going to sound really familiar to you and anyone else who's seen Utsukushii Kare, because it's pretty much exactly the contest Kiyoi participates in. Like, if it's not what Nagira Yuu was thinking of when she wrote that part of the UK novel, I'll eat my shoe.

A ton of tokusatsu leads won, placed in, or made it to the finals of that contest. The Tokupedia fan wiki even has its own page dedicated to the contest with links to various winners' toku characters. The majority of Junon Super Boy contestants who ended up in a toku series went to Kamen Rider, but there are some Sentai dudes as well and at least one Ultraman lead.

So I guess if Kiyoi had won that contest, he probably would have ended up on Kamen Rider or something. Weird.

Inukai Atsuhiro and Iijima Hiroki both won that contest. Those are the only two Junon Boys (that's what people call the contest winners) who became tokusatsu actors and were on a BL that I know of right off the top of my head. But it seems likely that there are other toku-and-BL or just BL actors who won, placed, or made it to the finals of this contest.

Other dudes who ended up on tokusatsu shows started out in other ways. Some were simply signed to agencies as actors. There's a fair number of them who were in idol groups. (Though when an idol/ex-idol is looking for a gig as a transition into acting, BLs seem to be a more popular choice.) Some mostly did modeling prior to their toku series. Some already had quite a few acting credits, though usually not very big ones. Although he's a Junon Super Boy winner, Inukai had eight other acting credits before Kamen Rider. Takeda had the same number, and he started young--his first credit is for a TV show that came out when he was 10 (though it took another six years to get a second).

I also looked up some women who've had prominent roles in tokusatsu shows, including more recent ones. The most frequent things I found when I looked for information on their pre-toku careers were that they had been models or idols (or both). It's also not uncommon for women in toku roles to be former or present gravure models--basically models who pose in bikinis or comparably revealing outfits.

The coolest thing I found was that Imoto Ayaka, who played Igarashi Sakura/Kamen Rider Jeanne, was an award-winning ballet dancer. Which is not only incredibly cool but makes a lot of sense in terms of preparation for a tokusatsu hero role.

I mean, just check out this henshin.

Well, this has gotten ridiculously long. Sorry about that. I may have gotten a little carried away. But thanks again for the question.

And now, I have something to write for @wen-kexing-apologist...

#tokusatsu to BL pipeline #tokusatsu #takeda kouhei #yamada yuki #suda masaki #junon super boy contest #kamen rider #super sentai #kamen rider kiva #kaizoku sentai gokaiger #kamen rider w #nishijima hidetoshi

[flowersandbigteeth]

Your vampire boyfriend gives you a ride home

General Plot: As a bartender, you meet a lot of people. You never expect to meet the vampire you met at one of your jobs again, but he's kind enough to offer you a ride home.

A/N: ADDITIONAL WARNING: This is a story for the older tumblerinas that I had in my mind. When I turned 30 I suddenly felt like there were no vampire stories for me? So this is with that in mind. If you're not 30+ you might not really like it, unless you want to pretend to be a jaded 30-something for a while...I've been dying to do more mind control yanderes and this was a good space for it

Vampire (Julius) x female reader (30+)

Word Count: 4k

W: sfw vampire fluff, yandere vampire, mind control/hypnosis, light kidnapping?

“You don’t look like you belong here,” the vampire said to you, leaning against the bar you were standing behind. You were filling in for the usual bartender at these kinds of parties, a much younger woman with big boobs. That’s what they always asked for. 

“If that’s a crack at my age, you should know I’m also too old to fall for negging,” you shot back, finding somewhere else to look. 

He chuckled.

“The opposite, really, you’re the most interesting woman here,” he said, smiling, revealing long fangs. He picked up one of the glasses of blood you were pouring and took a sip, looking out over the slew of 19-23 year old girls and boys the vampires had invited to entertain their party. 

“These kids are just that,” he said, “children. They look like children, baby faces...” 

He turned back to you.

“Women look like they have secrets,” he said, his sharp, red eyes peering at you over his glass, “I bet there’s a few things you’ve seen, maybe done, that will follow you to your grave.” 

You looked a little incensed and shrugged. It was true, what grown woman didn’t have secrets? You’d all done something you hoped never saw the light of day, it was part of making mistakes and growing up. He wasn’t unique for guessing that. 

“The same goes for me,” he laughed, looking at his drink and spinning the glass, “but that’s what makes you so much more fascinating. I won’t be so trite as to compare a woman to a glass of wine, but there’s something alluring about complexity. You’ve had heartbreaks. Triumphs."

"You’ve gotten high on your ego. You’ve been dragged down and humbled. You’ve created your own tragedies that you’ll always regret and they have formed you into a layered person. All things these kids have yet to experience. There’s nothing wrong with them…just…I’ve never been interested in innocence.” 

“You’re bored then,” you said, ignoring his musings and wiping down the bar. It was late in the night and most of the vampires had found willing humans to feed from, no longer needing your services. The sooner they all filtered out to whatever dark caves they disappeared off to, the sooner you could pack up and go home. 

“I’m here to serve drinks. I’m not good company,” you said blandly, “sure a handsome guy like you could find better pickings at a bar uptown.” 

Sure he was handsome, with deep brown skin and black locs swept away from his face trailing down his back, but all vampires were good looking. They also liked to play games and drink blood, neither of which sparked your interest. 

“I guess you caught me,” he said, “I hate coming to these things. I arrange them for the clan, so I have to be here, but parties got old a long time ago.” 

He looked you over, considering what was under the crisp white button down you were wearing. 

“But you’re wrong about one thing, I’m not going to find a more captivating woman anywhere else,” he said. “I’ve lived a long time, but I’ve never met someone who piqued my interest quite like you do.” 

You laughed in his face. 

“I’m sorry, but that sounds like a line,” you said, smirking, “and I’m a bit too complex to fall for those, too.” 

You appreciated it, anyway, but you weren’t letting the smooth talking vamp make headway with you. You were going to go home alone to another peaceful night drinking tea and reading novels in bed, not getting chewed on, tossed aside by a vampire playboy, and taking an awkward Uber home at 4am. While that had been fun at 23 it had long since lost its shine.

The house lights went up and you almost let out a sigh of relief. The party was finally over. 

“That’s my cue to make myself scarce,” you said, giving him a smile, “have a nice night, mister.” 

You turned your back on him to pack up the rest of the blood bags you hadn’t used and when you flipped back around he was gone. Not thinking much of it, you finished cleaning up and headed home. 

–

Julius watched you from across the room. You’d never know he was there, slinking in the shadows. He was jealous of the way you were smiling at the man in front of you as you mixed his drink. He made a joke and you giggled, making his blood boil. 

You weren’t taken with the man, just doing your job. There was a conference at the hotel and the after party was filled with forty-somethings mingling and sloppily dancing to 2000’s hits in ill fitting business casual. 

Before he walked away Julius watched him slide his business card across the counter to you. You chuckled at his back as he walked off and dropped it in the fishbowl someone had placed on the bar for the raffle, making his rage deflate a little bit. He wasn’t the only man you rebuffed. 

Julius was a hunter, though, in his 597 years of life he’d perfected his craft. He’d identified his prey and nothing would shake him off your trail. He’d been watching you, showing up to the parties you bartended at and creeping on you from the shadows.  It had been weeks since he’d first talked to you.

In that time he’d learned your name was (Y/N), what catering company you worked for, and your home address. He knew the names of all your friends, who you were closest to and who you had drama with, and enough about your troubles to get a pretty good picture of you as a person. 

He was fascinated with your complicated smiles and the walls you put up to keep people out. From following you, he knew you were self reliant and a homebody. You didn’t go on dates. You always turned men down even when you found them attractive. He’d watched you go home to read one of your spicy books alone night after night. 

He was starting to learn what was a fake facade you put on for your customers and what genuinely pleased you, but it was all from so far away. You were a pretty bird that he could only observe. He wanted to get closer, but he didn’t want to frighten you away. How to arrange a meeting? 

He glanced at the 40-something who had approached you, pulling him into the shadows and looking at him with his swirling red irises, whispering something to him before releasing him again. 

When the party ended, fairly early due to the crowd, you packed up your bar and loaded up the van you used to transport the liquor and coolers. 

“Looky here, it’s you again,” the man from before slurred as he appeared behind you. 

You jumped, startled and narrowed your eyes at him. 

“I’m just about to go,” you said, hurrying to put the last of the coolers in the van, but there was still some stuff to load. 

“Why don’t you let me give you a hand, doll?” he asked, stumbling towards you, obviously drunk. You had no idea how he got so drunk because you didn’t remember giving him that many drinks. 

“I’m really fine,” you said, holding up your hands to warn him off. 

The drunk took this as an invitation and fell into you, trying to plant a kiss on you. 

“Hey get off!” you growled, pushing at him. 

“You started it, doll,” he purred in your ear, his hands finding your hips. 

You were just going to push him away when he was suddenly removed from you. 

“Get lost,” a deep voice said and the handsome vampire you remembered from the vampire party you catered a month ago appeared dragging the guy off of you by the collar.

The man blanched, looking suddenly very lucid and terrified, disappearing down the alley. 

“Thanks,” you gasped, catching your breath, “that guy was a creep. If you hadn’t of been here…” 

He smiled at you, flashing his sharp fangs. 

“How auspicious that we meet again,” he said, “maybe this time you’ll let me introduce myself before you scurry off.” 

Shaken from the attack and thankful for his help, you stuck out a shaking hand. 

“(Y/N),” you said. 

He took it, but instead of shaking it he folded himself down and kissed it.

“Julius,” he said. 

You pulled your hand back, even though your heart fluttered a little. No one had ever done that before. 

“Well…like I said, thanks…I should get going,” you said, slowly turning back to your stuff and putting the last of it in. 

“It’s been a pleasure,” he said, “maybe I’ll see you again.” 

You glanced out of your rearview and he was still standing there when you started the van and took off. There was a  loud grinding noise and you hurriedly brought the van to a stop to try and figure out what it was. Julius appeared by your driver’s side window and pointed for you to roll it down. 

“Seems we meet sooner than expected,” he laughed, “someone stole your back tire.” 

You jumped out of the van and clucked in your throat when you saw that indeed, someone had stolen the tire from the van. 

“Just great,” you groaned, fishing in your pocket for your phone to call someone and just to make your night, your phone battery had gone dead. 

“Need some help?” Julius asked. 

You turned back to him, rubbing your head. 

“Yeah, actually, jeez…I’m so sorry to impose like this but is there any way I could use your phone or something to call someone?” you asked. 

He smiled at you.

“I can do you one better and give you a ride home if you want,” he said, “we can call the tow truck in the car. I’d hate for you to have to sit out here in the dark on an obviously dangerous street until someone comes to pick you up.” 

You looked around, acknowledging that you’d both been accosted and had your tire stolen on this street. It wasn’t looking good for your prospects. 

“Okay…” you said, “but let me send a picture of your driver’s license to my friend…just you know, to make sure you’re not a wierdo.” 

He chuckled, pulling out his wallet. He was happy to hand it over, because it was fake. 

“Of course,” he said, “that’s perfectly reasonable. I want you to feel safe with me.” 

He handed you his phone and you snapped the picture, typing in your closest friend’s number that hadn’t changed in the twenty years you’d known her. She was on vacation in Italy and wouldn’t see it, but this was all just to discourage any funny business anyway. He didn’t have to know that. 

Ironically, since he’d been stalking you, Julius did know and smirked as you sent the message. When you were done you passed him his phone back and he led you to a sleek foreign sports car parked in the back lot. 

“This is niiiiice,” you laughed as he opened the door for you, “I’m shocked you still have all of your tires.” 

Julius stiffened imperceptibly and if you’d thought about that statement for a minute or more you might have saved yourself a lot of trouble. Or maybe you were already stuck in the spider’s web and it was too late. 

Whatever the case, the door shut with a click as you sat down and Julius swung around to the opposite side to slide into the driver’s seat. To your surprise he tugged your chin to face him. You would have been annoyed or startled, but when your eyes met his swirling red ones you only felt a sense of peace. 

“I’m taking you to your house,” he said, evenly. 

You nodded, believing him because he’d hypnotized you. He’d ensured that you didn’t struggle while he took you to his. He wanted to talk to you, not watch you sleep in his passenger’s seat. 

Having stalked you for a month, he wanted to hear your voice…see your eyes flicker when you spoke with him. When he let go of your chin, it never even occurred to you to tell him where you lived. 

Instead you leaned forward and nervously fussed with his music system, swiping through songs on the touch screen. His scent was filling the space, some kind of expensive cologne mixed with a masculine musk unique to him, and making your head a little swimmy and maybe your heart a little fluttery. 

You strategically avoided situations like this, chronically single for a reason. Significant others came with compromises and you were happy with your life. Over years you’d built it to be what you wanted it to be. No, you weren’t rich, but you could buy the things you wanted, within reason, and had a comfortable roof over your head filled with the things that comforted you. 

Your own  frugality and ingenuity gave you a lot of pride. You’d DIY’ed a bunch of things to make them nice and you did your own car maintenance. You felt whole. The idea of changing your world, carefully crafted over the course of decades to make room for some unreliable stranger seemed simply unappealing. 

Now you were all fluttery and your hands were sweaty and it annoyed you. It was a threat to your way of life. 

“You listen to Death Cab…?” you snorted, staunchly pushing him away with the first thing that caught your eye, “what are you a moody teenage girl from the early 2000’s?” 

He smirked at you and reached over your hand with his larger, cooler one, pressing play. 

The stormy, proggy guitar riffs that were enigmatic in 2004 drifted out of the speakers all around you. You jerked your hand back, cheeks burning. 

As the music pulled you back to an earlier time when you smoked pot with some boy who’s name and face you didn’t even remember anymore while you avoided a party on a rooftop, listening to this song filtered through the shingles under your feet. 

Oh, instincts are misleading…you shouldn’t think what you’re feeling…

You’d believed in love then. Maybe you’d thought you’d loved that boy that you couldn’t even remember. Just like the song love was campy, but annoyingly poignant and you felt your eyes water with some kind of wistfulness you weren’t used to feeling. 

Surprising even yourself you snorted when another song you recognized played. 

“I had my first time to this song,” you laughed, blushing at admitting something so personal on a whim, but smiling to yourself, “god, how things have changed…” 

We looked like giants, in the back of my gray subcompact, fumbling to make contact…

He tipped his head to the side, glancing at you while trying to keep his eyes on the road. He really just wanted to look at your glowing face on the brink of tears at a silly album he had in his music collection. 

“You’re telling me,” he laughed, “want to hear what I had my first time to?”

Your head snapped to him, interested. A vampire’s song? You had to know. 

He flipped through the songs until the sound of lutes and flutes filled the car and you couldn’t hold back your giggle when a deep voice singing in Italian bellowed something that sounded maybe like opera? 

He smiled at you, tapping his hands on the steering wheel and flashing his fangs. 

“You laugh, but this was extremely popular in my time,” he said, “Guacomo was a genius!” 

You gave him a pacifying nod, smothering a snicker and remembering that oldies in vampire time was very different from yours, as he sang a few lines with a booming baritone.

“It’s kind of a bop,” you said, acknowledging that the flutes were nice. Giving him a devious look you asked him a question he liked. 

“So where was it?” you asked. 

“My first time?” 

You nodded and he laughed. 

“In a brothel my father took me to. I was so frightened I almost couldn’t do it, but she was a kind woman. Took me right in my chair in the middle of the performance.”

He was too polite to ask you yours, so, because it was fair, you told him. 

“Mine was in the back of a Chrysler Sebring,” you chuckled, “on a very rainy day after I finished a job interview.” 

He laughed out loud. 

“After a job interview?!” he chuckled, “naughty girl. Did you get the job?”

You nodded and he grinned. The air in the car had cleared and you’d gotten so comfortable you hadn’t even noticed he’d stopped until then. 

“Where are we?” you asked, looking around at the underground parking lot he’d driven you into. 

He looked into your eyes.

“You asked me to bring you to my house,” he said, “we are getting along so well you don’t want the night to end just yet. You want to have a cup of tea, but you’re all out.” 

“Oh, right,” you said, chuckling that you’d forgotten and letting him help you out of the car. 

He had to stifle his grin as he led his unsuspecting little lamb up the elevator that would deposit the two of you at his penthouse. 

“This is beautiful,” you gasped at the lovely apartment. 

It was wide and open with an almost 180 degree view of the city and the river running beside it. Stars sparkled in the night’s sky, above the light pollution. His decor was sleek and modern in light, cool colors. 

You jumped as a vampire servant appeared, silently taking Julius’ coat.

“Bring my guest some tea,” he said over his shoulder as he led you out onto the terrace wrapping around the building. A small swimming pool was built into the balcony with a hot tub, but he led you to a couch under an elegantly designed propane heater. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind you had the sneaking suspicion something wasn’t right, but it had been so long since you’d been alone, intimately with a man you were kind of getting drawn into the attention and the environment. The weather was a little chilly, but it was warm under the heater.  

He cupped your elbow as he got you comfortable on the couch, sliding next to you. Not too close to spook you, but close enough to be a bit thrilling. He’d played this cat and mouse game with a thousand other women, but no chase was as exciting as this one. He didn’t plan on having you for a night and then tossing you aside. 

His plans for you were much, much bigger. Some part of him had been looking for his dream woman since his first time, but women had always just been…unmemorable. It didn’t matter if they were glamorous, perfect vampires like him or innocent human twenty-somethings, he found them utterly dull, until you. 

When he’d first spotted you in your crisp white shirt, he’d immediately frowned. He thought someone had put a spell on him or a glamor on you. He’d never responded so viscerally to a woman before, his cold heart thudding in his chest. And when you’d put him off…he’d been sure you were sent from the Goddess herself to punish him. 

You weren’t perfect, like some plastic doll. Your face had character, framed with the rogue gray hairs you stubbornly refused to pluck or dye and fine lines around the corners of your eyes. Your boobs weren’ that ideal ratio teenage boys who’d never been near a woman’s breasts before had determined was beautiful and your stomach wasn’t tight. But all of those imperfect strokes painted a ceaselessly lovely picture for Julius. 

You looked like he’d dreamed you with all of his favorite little quirks, the way your teeth were spaced and the shape of your nose…they would all seem not quite perfect to anyone else, but to him…they were exactly what he would have chosen if he'd designed you himself. 

He knew it was a little cliche, but he had to ask. “It’s surprising a sophisticated, pretty woman such as yourself is still single,” he murmured, glancing over your face. 

Your cheeks warmed slightly. 

“I like my life,” you said, confidently, “never needed a man, I guess.” 

“Maybe never needed,” he agreed, “but never wanted?” 

You swallowed thickly as a pot of tea and a cup was set out for you by the silent butler. 

You took a sip of the too hot liquid before answering. 

“Romance just never seemed important,” you replied, “I have friends. I can buy myself everything that I need.”  

He scoffed.

“Now that’s interesting,” he said, patting his knee, “because the only thing I can confidently say I’ve learned in all of my 597 years is that love is the most important thing. Everything else…dust…but love never had a form. It lasts forever, hovering in the aether. Even death can’t kill it.” 

He narrowed his shrewd eyes at you. 

“I see we have to disconnect you from your comfort objects,” he said, thoughtfully. 

You wrinkled your brow at him, a little confused, but just laughed it off. People said strange things all the time, maybe you’d missed something. 

“I want you to kiss me,” he said, this time to you. 

“What?” you asked, a little taken aback at his direct approach.

He smirked. 

“As an experiment. If you really aren’t missing anything, then there’s nothing to worry about. You’ll kiss me, it’ll mean nothing and you’ll have won the bet.” 

“Your wager is I am missing something?” you asked, “something you have?” 

He nodded, an amused smile playing on his lips. You chuckled. 

“Okaaay, that’s one of the more interesting lines I’ve heard to get a kiss, but I’ll bite,” you said, then gave him a more serious look, “but only one. This isn’t an invitation.” 

He nodded innocently, agreeing. 

You couldn’t help but like Julius. He was handsome and a little bit charming. Kissing him wasn’t really a hardship. You were willing to try it. Carefully, you placed your tea cup on the saucer and smoothed your hands on your pants. You gave him a careless look to let him know you were absolutely not going to fall for this, before, leaning in and pushing your fingertip under his chin to lift it just a bit. 

Then you tipped your head to the side and pressed your lips against his. He let you stay in charge for just a moment, his cool lips moving just slightly under your warmer ones. Then you felt his hand take yours, pulling it aside, while his arm circled around you nudging you into him. His tongue brushed your bottom lip as he deepened the kiss and you saw sparks when yours automatically followed his, just lightly scraping one of his fangs. 

He had a slightly coppery taste with a bit of spice and your mouth watered just a bit, tasting him. Your lips and mouths moved together like they’d always known one another. Like this wasn’t your first kiss, but one you’d given him a thousand times, yet was never less exciting than the first. You would have been startled if you hadn’t been so lost in it. 

He didn’t want to pull away from you, knowing he could push for more…but again, he didn’t just want one night with you. He had to be careful how he approached you, so he let his mouth drift from yours, delighted when your head followed his just a bit, chasing him. 

His red eyes sparkled down at you. 

“Did I win the bet?” he asked. 

“Hmm?” 

He chuckled and you blinked, your eyes focusing and your sense slowly coming back to you. You hurried out of his arms. 

“No,” you said, quickly. 

“No?” he asked, very amused, because he knew you were lying. 

You tried to school your very guilty features. That was a good enough kiss it was actually difficult to lie about. You definitely wanted another one, but you absolutely did not want to ask for it. Your emotions were all over the place. He read the slight panic rising in you and, though it was amusing, decided to play the long game.

“Why don’t we call it a night?” he said, “you won the bet, so I’ll give you a favor.” 

You looked at him. 

“What?” 

He shrugged. 

“Whatever you like,” he said, “think about it…a favor from a vampire is valuable. Don’t waste it.” 

You chuckled at him and shook your head at the strange statement. 

“I should probably be heading home,” you said, finally. 

He grinned at you with a knowing look and tipped his head to the side, his eyes sparkling. 

“You’re too tired to go home tonight,” he said evenly, “you want to sleep in my guest room.” 

You yawned as his hypnosis worked and your eyes got heavy. 

“I’m so tired,” you said, “thank you for offering me your guest room. I think I’ll head to bed now.” 

He nodded and waved his hand. To your surprise the butler eerily appeared. 

“He’ll show you to your room,” he said and you followed the butler out, only glancing back once over your shoulder to see Julius was watching you with glowing eyes as you walked away. 

#vampire x reader #vampire x human #vampire fluff #monster x reader #monster x human #monster fluff #yandere x reader #yandere x female reader #yandere fluff #male yandere #x reader #sfw monster fluff #sfw fluff

[crazilust]

My Impressions on the Signs vs how I used to see them (part 1)

as i’ve met tons of different people this year and I’m approaching my 25th year and I feel like I’m becoming this completely new person (and honestly feeling a bit like i’m going insane) these are my new and reformed opinions on the zodiac!

1. Cancer

How I used to see them:

I used to see them as complete cry babies, which is not a shock because it’s stereotypically what we associate with Cancers, in general. More than that, I used to think they would often use their emotions as weapons and be overly sensitive. As an Aries sun with lots of Mars dominance, I had never gotten closer to a Cancer because I simply couldn’t deal with the constant flow of emotions.

How I see them now:

I still see them as very sensitive, but now I am more careful with my words because I’ve realized how fragile their self esteem can be. As the years went on, I was able to form meaningful relationships with Cancers and most of them had a really fragile self esteem. They’re not just sensitive for the sake of it, as it turns out lmao, but because they’re already pretty critical of themselves. Another thing, I’ve also met more developed Cancers and man, they are some of the most self assured, bad ass individuals. Very inspiring, if you ask me. Lots of ambition and would be great leaders imo.

My favorite “Cancer” placement : It has to be rising. Very lowkey, reserved individuals, but man when they care about you, they care about you very deeply. Again, very sensitive but I’m more cautious of it now.

2. Virgo

How I used to see them: I was always a very big fan of virgo. I lack earth element in my chart and Virgos used to be my favorite earth placement to hang out with. My best friend was a virgo, I had a virgo boyfriend. I just loved their dependability, their work ethic (which is something I value and admire in someone) and I always found them to be so.. perfect!

How I see them now: As time passed, I had some fall out with some Virgos and it was mostly because I realized that what they said about themselves didn’t really match the actions they did. It’s easy to say you hate messy people, but then how come you’re always in dramas? I’ve realized how much I had idealized Virgos and put them on this pedestal. I’m not saying Virgos are bad friends or anything like that, but in my experience, it was good to humanize them a bit and realize that this whole perfection persona was simply a facade I had fallen for.

My favorite “Virgo” placement: The sun, for sure. Even though I have way less virgos in my life, Virgo suns will remain my favorite of them all. Bonus: they’re hilarious.

3. Sagittarius

How I used to see them: Another one of my favorite: Sagittarius. From literal birth, I’ve been surrounded by Sags. Again, as an Aries, I feel like Sag and us just get together easily and it’s a lot of fun. But, just as I had a lot of fun with them, I always felt like I couldn’t quite get to know them, that they were quite non-comittal and with very big egos. It created a lot of friction in pretty much all of my relationships with Sags and most of the Sags I knew, we had a fallout. It’s like it was best if we stayed friends from a distance, because whenever we would get closer, we would hurt eachother. The main thing would be that we both wouldn’t feel enough love from one another.

How I see them now: So, I’ve dated a Sag this year and he’s the one that changed my whole perspective on them. I mean, it hasn’t changed that much, but it made me understand the blind spots I had with them. First of all, I hadn’t realized how sensitive a Sag is. Now before you go all “Naaah, Sags don’t gaf about anything and no one”. Sure. But also, false. They care. Alot. They have the biggest of hearts. But their defense mecanism? Carelessness. Nonchalance. “It is what it is” might just be tattooed on the inside of their eyelids because they live by that. And by dating this man, I realized that it was, in fact, a defense mecanism. To cope with the fact that he was hurt. And scared. Also, they put a unhealthy amount of pressure on themselves to succeed. Hadn’t realized that either. Another thing, some of them are incredibly lonely, while being popular… When I was younger, I really couldn’t understand the whole “Wise teacher” archetype of the sagittarius. But I get it now. Because some of them are truly alone and scared and in need of answers, and in order to have those, you have to go down that road alone. And become this wise sage. Not sure if I’m making any sense, but you got this, Sags!

My favorite “Sag” placement: Again, has to be sun. Although, I’m starting to be very fond of Sag moons. Like a less chaotic (or the chaos is more hidden) version of Sag sun.

4. Gemini

How I used to see them: I always had a lot of Gemini friends, because whenever there’s a Gemini, I’m gonna be attracted by them (only platonically though, weirdly enough never had a crush on a Gemini and I had lots of crushes). I used to think there were two kinds of Gemini: the lowkey, overthinker, kinda silent weird kid that everybody either loved or didn’t care for and the stereotypically loud, fun, crazy popular Gemini. I was friends with both of these kinds, but as it turns out, our friendship was never longer than 2 years, and if it was, it was never close friendships, just mostly acquaintances. I never really cared for the “two faced” stereotypes as I feel like some signs are way more fake than Gemini. But I did feel like there was a part of them that was hard to reach/see.

How I see them now: I’m kinda realizing that there’s no “two kind of Geminis” but that every Gemini has those two kind inside of them (Which is pretty obvious to anyone since they are the Twin archetype but listen, bare with meeeee, will ya). Some of them decide to put on the popular, loud, crazy kid persona and other decide to be more in their head, introverted but quite intelligent. Oh, another thing I hadn’t realized! They usually switch that persona based on people-pleasing tendencies. Hadn’t realized that all that overthinking could result, for some of them, in people pleasing tendencies. I always thought they didn’t care about that, but oh boy, they do. They love to feel included even if it means, bending their own backs sometimes. I’m growing very fond of them.

My favorite “Gemini” placement: I have quite a few. Sun, obviously. But I also love me a Gemini moon and rising. Esp rising. I find them very fun, and entertaining and they bring out the more chaotic side of me which I just love. I wish they would just be more accepting of themselves, just like they make me feel!

#astro community #astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #birth chart #taurus venus #gemini sun #virgotraits #sagittarius #cancer #cancer ♋️ #astrology notes #astroloji

[veras1ne]

✮;༉“Slut Me Out.”

Hi doves! I hope you like my new theme <3 I’ve really been feeling the color purple lately but specifically a dullish purple! Swans are my everything though so they’re still here as always. Anyways, I have another Saw fic for you guys, the next fic I post will be Anakin Skywalker!

✰Pairing´ˎ˗📀: Amanda Young x Kramer!Male!Reader

✰ ‧₊˚ Summary 🦢: Amanda was having a very slow day, until you popped inside the workshop. It’s so distracting having such a beautiful enigma in front of you, but maybe a distraction is just what she needed to make her day go faster, her associates son.

✰ ;➛ WARNINGS🫧: THIS IS AN 18+ SMUT FANFIC WORK. I am NOT responsible for the media you read and consume! Your warnings are the following: Smut, Cunnilingus, Age Gap, PIV, Mild Degrading, Fucking On A Table,

Amanda was having a very slow day. John hadn’t given her any tasks, and yet she’d still been put on standby. With no current traps to build and not having to take care of John, she sat sketching out new ideas for future contraptions.

Every once in a while, she would tinker with some scrap pieces of junk that Hoffman had left out. It wasn’t unusual for her to experience one of these days, but what she wasn’t expecting was to see her associate's son, you, enter the workshop.

You weren’t too much younger than Amanda; you were in your twenties, and yet she still saw you as pure, untainted, and unknowing of the vile world. You were exceptionally talented in her eyes, possessing a natural talent for machinery and craftsmanship. The two of you had minimal interactions but were still friendly at that. In fact, you were the closest thing she had to a friend other than your father, John.

Your face held an open innocence and sincerity. You always treated her kindly, despite her less than flattering history with your father's work. If anything, Amanda liked your company, even if you were only around her to get your father a drink of water or his medication when he forgot to take it during the long mornings.

The more time you spent with each other, though, the more you seemed to gravitate towards her, asking John more questions about her and making up useless excuses to see her. You didn’t necessarily agree with your father's method of rehabilitation; in fact, you thought it was wildly distasteful and that his "apprentices" should never have had to become a part of his games, but nothing mattered when it came to Amanda.

It wasn’t like you’d never spoken to Mandy before, but something in your brain made it near impossible for you to even get full conversations out. You were so awkward and timid in every other way; your body language gave off the impression you wanted nothing to do with her, and your tendency to rant and babble made it even harder.Although if it were anyone else, she would have gotten frustrated, she kept a special place in her mind for you, reminding herself that she’s still human. Despite how hard it seemed to be, Amanda couldn’t bring herself to hate you for all the wrong reasons.

You were just too sweet for her to dislike you, and besides, you were a friend of hers and somebody she cherished.Your footsteps echoed as you walked into the cold, concrete room. The air around you was cold, but your body was warm, and your face was slightly flushed from the heat of the sun. You shivered as you crossed the floor. You had your hands shoved into the pockets of your jacket, looking at the ground in front of you as you passed through the room.

When you noticed Amanda sitting at a table with blueprints and metal, you stopped abruptly and gave a sheepish smile. “Hi Mandy.” Her head followed the sound first, her eyes still attentive to the sketches in front of her. She finally raised her head from the paper when you spoke again. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything." You rubbed the back of your neck as you apologized, looking away.

She sighed deeply before giving you a quick smile. “No, not at all. Take a seat if you’d like.” Her hair was up, her mid-length locks of brown hair being exchanged for a short, updo ponytail that was held up by a small clip. It hung loosely in front of her face, framing it perfectly. You sat down next to her, placing yourself directly across from her, your hands clasped together nervously in your lap, your eyes darting from side to side, trying to find something to focus on.

She placed her sketchbook and pencil on her lap. “What can I do for you, stranger?” Her lips curled in an awkward smile that quickly faded, huffing at her own humor. "I'm just trying to find something to do, really. I thought I’d come see my favorite girl.” You smiled, your gaze lingering on her face for a bit longer than necessary before you looked away. “That is so kind of you." She laughed lightly before continuing. “But really, I’m not doing much; John has Hoffman out finding some guy who stole medication from Homeward." Amanda picked up the piece of metal she had been working on and examined it closely before setting it back down on the table.

Your eyes lingered on her smile, a pink flush to your cheeks. “You know, it’s rude to stare at people.” Her voice was laced with lightheartedness, her tone teasing. A lump caught in your throat as you glanced back at her. “It’s just so hard not to stare when you’re so pretty, Amanda.” You leaned forward on your elbows, resting your chin in the palm of your hand.

Her cheeks turned a dark red, and her heart fluttered. Her mouth opened and closed silently. She shook her head softly and said, ‘no’, over and over until she broke the silence between the two of you. “I bet you think that I don’t see the way you stare at me or the way your eyes follow my movements; I see everything." She paused, her gaze locked on yours. “I know that you think of me at night, whenever you get lonely and need company.” She took a breath. “I can fix that." She leaned forward, her arms snaking up your shoulders and stripping you of your warm jacket. You didn’t protest, not even as her cold fingers slid over your skin. She pressed closer, letting her lips graze the shell of your ear. “Let me save you." She whispered against the skin of your ear before placing soft kisses along your jawline, trailing further down until she reached your neck. Your eyes drifted shut in pleasure as she pulled down the collar of your shirt and exposed the skin of your throat. Her lips traced circles around the sensitive spot as she kissed her way down your neck and chest. Amanda’s breathing quickened and her grip tightened as the woman continued to suck the tender flesh and leave marks along the sides of her neck. She gently bit your shoulder before running the tip of her tongue over it, causing you to let out a groan.

Amanda sucked harder, moving lower along the edge of your collarbone and then sucking gently into the hollow there. A whimper left you as she licked a circle around your clavicle, making your chest rise and fall quickly. Your hands clenched tightly into fists as you tried to hold back your moans. “I’ve wanted to make you mine since the day I met you. So pure and kind, what would John say if he saw his precious little boy being dumbed down to  nothing?" Her words made your breath hitch and your words slur. “Please, please. Please don’t stop; please make me feel good.” You begged in a whisper, biting your lip to keep from crying out.

The woman slowly moved upward, kissing along your cheek, down your jaw, across your neck, and finally settling down at your ear. “Anything for you, baby, but what can you do for me?” She took hold of your hands, dragging them slowly up her shirt, groping her boobs, and luring out a whine from her lips. Her chest was warm, making your hands hot and your face flush. Your hands moved down to her loose pants, unbuttoning them and pushing them to the floor. She began taking the rest of her clothes off, revealing her beautiful naked body, covered in goosebumps due to the sudden change in temperature. You grabbed hold of her bare ass, squeezing it softly, pulling it toward you, and rubbing her back, your nails scraping against her smooth skin.

She turned around, swiping everything off the table onto the floor with a large clatter and hopping onto the smooth, cold metal. Her legs wrapped around your waist, holding on tight. Your hands slid up and cupped her breasts, your thumbs massaging them. As you squeezed them slightly, you gasped. Her soft moans sent chills throughout your body. One of your hands traveled down to her thighs, spreading them and exposing her wet pussy.

Your thumb ran the length of her folds, stroking gently against her clit. She arched her back slightly, lifting her hips up and grinding into your touch as she dug her nails into the skin of your arms. Her moans were loud and desperate while your tongue made contact with her folds. She writhed against you, her back arching higher and higher into your touch as her breathing became more labored. “Oh god,” she panted, her fingers gripping your hair, pulling your head upwards, forcing your tongue deeper inside her, your hands wrapped around her thighs, pulling her body closer to your mouth. Her fingernails raked your scalp as she squirmed beneath you, bucking her hips as hard as she could.

Her breath hitched and your name escaped her lips before she fell limp in your grasp, gasping harshly for air, her chest rising and falling rapidly, and her body shaking violently. You continued to play with her, stroking the tip of her clit in circular motions, working her through her orgasm. She released a low moan as she came, her entire body shuddering as it worked its way down her body. As her eyes flickered open, they gazed at you with a mixture of lust, passion, and affection. "God, you’re so beautiful,” you breathed out to her as she straddled the table, reaching over and unbuckling your belt.

Her fingers pushed your trousers down, the fabric pooling at your ankles. With gentle fingers, she pushed your boxers down to your thighs, releasing your straining cock from the near-suffocating fabric. She lowered herself slowly over your dick, and you couldn’t help but gasp, your eyes closing involuntarily. “So tight,” you murmured breathlessly, pressing back against her, wanting more. She lifted herself up slightly, allowing you enough room.

She spread her lips wide as she let out a whimper. "God, your cock is so fucking big. I never knew you were such a disgusting little slut for me." Your eyes widened slightly, a small blush creeping across your cheeks as your face grew warmer. “I should’ve known you’d love to be degraded like this. You just love it, don’t you?” she smirked slyly, her husky voice dripping with lust as you ran your hand slowly up and down her stomach, caressing her soft breasts. She wrapped her legs around your waist, forcing your dick deeper inside of her, causing the both of you to let out a deep groan in sync, almost like two puzzle pieces that fit exactly together, your bodies merging and your souls becoming one. She let her head fall back against the metal, putting her arms behind her head as your thrusts quickened. Your teeth grazed her earlobe, nipping lightly as the coils in your stomach tightened. You tugged on her nipples, feeling the heat radiate between her thighs as you began slamming into her, giving her exactly what she desired.

You were in complete control of your body, and yet it felt as if she had taken over your mind, filling your thoughts with her and only her. You gripped her tighter, pumping faster and harder each time you slammed into her, leaving purple bruises as your hips snapped into her pelvic area, and sending waves of pleasure crashing through your body. A moan slipped past your lips as Amanda’s grip on your dick tightened, her walls clenching around your cock.

You cried out her name loudly, burying your face into the crook of her neck, your lips trailing up towards her ear. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” She hummed, her voice muffled against your neck and collarbones while her hands found their way to your shoulders. "Mandy, please, I’m going to cum.” Your labored breathing made it hard to understand your words, and your stomach felt tight as your orgasm approached. “I want you to cum inside me; I want to be the one to claim you; taint your mind.” Her words pushed you to the edge, your warm cum spilling into her pussy, leaking out onto her inner thighs. Your body shook as you continued to pound into her, her own orgasm drawing close as you worked her to her second orgasm. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum. Such a good boy, doing all of this for me.” Her stomach snapped, her whines increasing in volume as her body shook uncontrollably, her cries mixing with your grunts.

Her nails dug into your back, her energy running out as she laid flat on the cool table, as opposed to the hot sweat on her body. Her breath was slow and steady as she came down from her high, her muscles relaxing as you finally stopped. You rested your forehead against hers, her hands resting on your shoulders, this time relaxed. “If I knew you could do that, I would’ve done this a lot sooner, kid.” She let out a huffed laugh. You smiled at her, brushing a strand of hair away from her face, placing a kiss on her forehead, and handing her your jacket to give her some form of protected modesty, even if you had just spent the last nearly thirty minutes pleasuring her. She slipped the jacket on and stood up, turning around to face you once again, leaning down, and kissing you deeply. “Let’s go get cleaned up; I don’t feel like staying sticky all day." You chuckled and nodded at her, slipping your hand into hers and lacing your fingers together as you headed to the door.

Your soft snores were all that were heard in your room as Mandy stroked her fingers through your hair. The sun filtered through the blinds and illuminated your sleeping figure. Large, heavy footsteps rang through the hallway as Amanda turned her head towards the sound of “Hi John.” She smiled and gave a little wave. “I welcome you into my home, give you refuge, and this is what I get in turn? This is a new low for you, Amanda.” John stated it blankly, looking away and walking away from the doorway. “New record, I guess.”

#veras1ne #amanda young smut #amanda young x reader #amanda young #Amanda young fanfiction #Amanda Young fluff #Amanda Young Angst #amanda young saw #saw x reader #saw imagines #saw 2004 #saw x #saw franchise #saw movies #saw #saw fanfic #x male reader #x male y/n #x male smut #Amanda Young x male Reader

[coldalbion]

"And in many ways, that complaint has only gotten louder over the decades. Stop talking to each other and start buying things. Stop providing content for free and start paying us for the privilege. Stop shining sunlight on horrors and start advocating for more of them. Stop making communities and start weaponizing misinformation to benefit your betters.

It’s the same. It’s always been the same. Stop benefitting from the internet, it’s not for you to enjoy, it’s for us to use to extract money from you. Stop finding beauty and connection in the world, loneliness is more profitable and easier to control.

Stop being human. A mindless bot who makes regular purchases is all that’s really needed.

Over and over again since that prodigal moment of shame and hurt and confusion, I’ve joined online communities, found so much to love there, made friends and created unique spaces that truly felt special, felt like places worth protecting. And they’ve all, eventually, died. For the same reasons and through the same means, though machinations came from a parade of different bad actors. It never really mattered who exactly killed and ate these little worlds. The details. It’s all the same cycle, the same beasts, the same dark hungers. [...] And while Twitter hurts, I’m not sure anything will ever hurt as much as Livejournal did. It feels like no one even remembers anymore what happened to lovely, flawed, dog-eared, wacky old LJ in the twilight of the aughts and the dawn of the tens. Even though in this year of our lord 2022, when there are some pretty fucking good reasons to remember it, and learn its lessons...

So when Livejournal was sold, not to Viacom or Google, but to SixApart, a company no one had ever heard of, it was confusing. As was its refusal to develop anything like a usable mobile app. When fanfic communities started getting banned for gay content in the name of “protecting the children,” it was alarming and confusing. When it started going down regularly due to constant DDoS attacks, the new owner accused the community of trying to blackmail and destroy him for questioning what the hell was going to happen to all of us, when the Russian Prime Minister was commenting on fucking Livejournal, and when Russian users started put posts in English to let others know what was going on…we all just felt so helpless. It was sold to SUPMedia, a Russian company, and by 2016, had moved its servers to Russia and changed the entire site to conform with that good old very free and inclusive Russian law, but by that time, the community had long fled. Which was the point. Make it unusable and unreliable, bleed off the Westerners and the eye of Western media, and use the database to find and shut down dissenters.

And as hard as it was for us to lose that space where so many of us found family and work and connection, I cannot begin to imagine what those brave dissidents lost. What Russia lost. What they are still losing.

It was a small piece of what was to come. Like Gamergate and the Puppies, an experiment to practice taking apart a minor but culturally influential community and develop techniques to do it again, more efficiently, more quickly, with less attention. To lay out a reliable pathway to commit harm and lie about it for so long and in so many ways that by the time the truth is available, it doesn’t matter, because the harm is a foundational part of the system we’re living in. The harm is the new status quo.

Lather, rinse, repeat."

As someone who's been online nearly 30 years (I'm 18ish months younger than the author) who cut his teeth on dialup BBSses, Fidonet et al rather than Prodigy, I cosign this and beg you to read the whole thing.

#catherynne m. valente #elder millennial #internet history #fandom history

[hoshinoyozora]

The Immortal’s Feelings

🖤 Pairing: Yandere! Malleus Draconia x Female! Reader feat. Silver

💛 Word Count: 0,7k+

❤ Warnings: -

[Edited]

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission. Also, don’t ask for a sequel unless I like the story enough to write one. Please reblog so other people can see my stories!***

I’m not a psychology student, but I think it’s interesting how (forced) transformation can affect human psyche. Then again, my depiction won’t be perfect considering I’m someone with neutral feelings nearly all the time (at least enough until some people close to me call me emotionless lmao).

“Why did you become a knight, Silver?”

You sipped the tea calmly and gracefully; an act that was enough to make the majority of people here acknowledged you as their queen, but never enough to make them accept you. At least, all those tedious lessons about table manners paid off somewhat.

“Because I want to repay my father and His Majesty’s kindness.”

“I see.” you mused, putting down the cup on the saucer with a soft clink. “So, I guess no matter what I do, you’ll always be loyal to him, huh…”

Silver gripped his knees.

“You are the queen, so I’ll still obey your orders.”

“Anyone can obey me, but not everyone can be loyal to me. That’s probably the first thing I’ve learned since my… coronation.”

You hated that word. It sounded too noble, too posh, too heavy. As if it was something you should be honored with, rejoiced over. It might be better to rule over the people who hated you rather than live among them, but it didn’t make the experience any less unpleasant.

“I won’t lie and say that what he did was right, but fairies tend to love intensely.”

“And humans love freedom. They need it, even. But, at the end of the day, I’m just an artificial fae, aren’t I?” you sneered. “Even humanity feels alien to me now, like a concept too abstract for me to understand.”

The last part came out more as a heartfelt confession than a bitter remark. Sometimes you woke up and felt a deep hollowness inside your chest, as if someone had ripped your heart out and left you as a husk. Or a robot, because you were still functional. Yes, you did your duty as a queen and a wife; a routine that was as normal as sleeping and eating now. There were times when you experienced any kind of emotion too, and you quickly forgot the reason behind it. Why were you happy? Why were you sad? It didn’t make any sense. Your brain had overpowered your body at this point, and what was left of your heart was used to accommodate the petty offense over an insult, perceived or not.

Back then, you would’ve called it embarrassing. Nobody should be sensitive enough to attack someone just because they forgot to greet you. But now, you’d made great use of Malleus by ordering him to publicly humiliate the offender. Something still caught you from committing a worst act, though, and you weren’t sure whether you should be relieved or not. Whether it was your lingering humanity or the warnings you’d gotten from people who deemed themselves important enough to not embarrass yourself.

And yet, Malleus was happy. Proud, even. Although you’d learned it was much better to use him than defy him, anger would resurface and remind you that asking for his help was similar to needing him. Then, memories of him forcing you to marry him and transforming you into a pathetic, subpar version of himself would spark all the forgotten feelings, only for them to disappear when you tried so hard to remember why you hated Malleus in the first place.

It was a confusing event all around, and your husband, with his limited knowledge of human psyche and the effect of your transformation, chalked it up to ‘mood swing’. Still, it did change your attitude to everyone else and led them to look at you the same way they looked at Malleus; with fear, and probably less respect.

After all, you were nothing without him.

But then, you spotted Silver helping his sparring partner from the ground and remembered that humanity was about helping each other. At least, that was what you thought, until you heard his explanation.

“… I have nothing to say, Your Majesty.” Silver admitted shamefully.

You closed your eyes and sighed.

“Of course, you don’t. You’re just a human raised by faes. You know about humanity as much as I do.” You waved your hand dismissively. “Now, leave. I want to be alone right now.”

You heard the chair scrape against the stone masonry, but you didn’t bother to acknowledge his respectful bow. It was only after he went inside the castle, did you open your eyes and peer down through the balcony.

A few mortal servants and knights scattered here and there, and you wondered whether you could sway this minority group to join your side with your experiences as a former human.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland #twst imagines #yandere twst #female reader #malleus draconia #yandere malleus x reader #yandere malleus draconia #malleus x reader #yandere malleus #twisted wonderland malleus #silver #twst silver

[miamochi-writes]

Hi there! I recently discovered you and love your blog! It’s so cute! Also your Knives x reader got me feeling things 😍 I love how you describe their playing! Please tell me we get a part 2 for it?🥹

A/n: Hi! These are some of the many asks I’ve gotten on making a continuation for the Like Crazy Knives post I did. I’m surprised there was such a demand (8 people asking or messaging me for this)! So without further ado, part 2 ✨ Here's a link to Part 1 of Like Crazy 

It had been days since Knives issued out his order of finding Y/n to his men and followers. He was determined to find their location and wanted updates constantly on any signs or clues that might lead to them. Knives would gladly use his blades to show no mercy on anyone who was unwilling to cooperate or spotted any signs of laziness. Even Legato and Con'rad weren't safe from the plant's fury despite being his closest allies.

In the meantime, Knives would meet with Y/n in their dreams. Whether it be comforting them through talking or the usual piano sessions, Knives savored each moment. He longed and needed their companionship. Y/n and their dream was his sanctuary from all the humans he had to tolerate with. Some days, Y/n showed up much more lively with that sparkle in their eyes. Yet, there were days when they could barely play a few notes. Or worse, there was no dream meet up for the night. When that happened, Knives knew the humans were doing more unethical experiments on Y/n, and would yell at his men to look and investigate harder.

But when Knives did meet Y/n in their dreams, he was always welcomed with:

"Knives, you're here again!"

"Knives, let's do a duet together. I've been practicing!"

"As long as you're here with me, I can keep going."

"Let me listen to you Knives, it comforts me."

Each time Knives heard or saw Y/n, a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders temporarily. It meant they were still alive and holding on as best as they can for him. Who knew such a presence affected the blonde plant this much? So far, Y/n hadn't been able to find any clues on where their whereabouts were. Regardless of each day, they never gave up on looking. But Knives knew Y/n would tell him immediately if they ever found something that could lead to their location.

Just like any other night, Knives was just finishing playing with Y/n in the serene and colorful meadow as they always did. As he was about to hit the last few notes, he could spot the dream starting to fade slowly. Y/n already let out a sigh as they hit the last few notes. They looked to him and leaned their head on his left arm.

"It's time to go already huh?" they asked as Knives pulled Y/n close to his side. He exhaled and gave them a slight squeeze as he looked at their e/c eyes.

"Unfortunately, but know that I'm not giving up on finding you. My men are searching as we speak. In fact, I was informed that after exploring certain areas, we narrowed our search to three regions. We found some ships, but they were either empty long ago or housed other creatures," Knives spoke. Y/n smiled at him as their sullen mood shifted to a more excited aura.

"That's great news to hear! I'm still keeping my eyes and ears peeled on where I'm at. In fact, I overheard I might have another human observe me during tests. I'm going to see if I can get any information out of them," they added.

"All I ask is that you stay cautious and be strong. Until we meet again, Y/n," Knives answered as he held onto them one more time. Y/n looked at them with that smile of theirs that brought Knives a sense of comfort. They held his hand and gave a quick gentle squeeze.

"I will, because one day we will meet and I won't have to wake up to anymore experiments again. Until then, wait for me Knives," they finished as they faded away. Knives opened his eyes as he saw his familiar piano room once more. His arms were empty again as he clenched his fists. The plant got up and left the room. He called out for Legato and demanded updates and the status of the search once more.

~*~

Two days had passed and Knives was in a sour mood. He was informed that one of his followers found a ship the next day after meeting with Y/n. But alas, it only contained corpses of humans and dependent plants. Later on that evening, Knives tried to dream but he kept waking up to his piano room. He played vigorously on the piano keys to vent off his frustrations and worries. Each note resonated within the walls of his headquarters. Anyone that heard the music, knew to braces themselves for the rough night ahead.

By the second night, Knives decided to fall asleep earlier as his only update was that his men were moving towards west of JuLai city. When he closed his eyes, he hoped that he wouldn't wake up to the same room. Once 5 minutes passed, the blonde opened his eyes he smiled after seeing the serene meadow once again. Before he could make his way to the usual meetup spot, he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

"KNIVES! KNIVES!"

Knives turned around to see Y/n running towards him. His eyes furrowed as this was a first, yet he could hear the sense of urgency in their voice. Y/n grabbed onto his shoulders as he steadied them by holding their arms.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" he asked as the fellow plant was catching their breath.

"I was able to find a clue Knives! The new crew member that was observing me...I got information Knives!" they spoke while trying to catch their breath. Knives was in complete shock as he held tightly onto Y/n as their eyes widened from this information.

"What do you know Y/n?" he demanded as Y/n nodded.

"I was able to over their conversation while they were testing me. This human said he transferred over from one of the many cities nearby to the ship I'm in. He said he travels on this thing called a Thomas every day to get to this place. But the last thing I heard was they can hear the steamer when outside," Y/n explained as Knives started piecing things together.

"Y/n, I think I know where you might be. Thank you for finding that out! I'll have my men search immediately!" he answered with the biggest smile creeping in. But the moment did not last long as the meadow started fading immediately. The plant was shocked as Y/n was starting to panic.

"They're waking me up to do more tests Knives. That's why I haven't been able to meet as much. They've been conducting more since the new person showed up. Please hurry and find me Knives!" Y/n called as they held onto his hands tightly in fear of being separated once more.

"Y/n! I'm coming for you! Stay strong for me," he called out as Y/n started to fade away. Knives reached his hand out towards them in desperation before they both faded. Knives jolted awake as he saw the piano he slept on earlier. He then left the room and sped towards Legato to share the new information he received. Everyone tensed at the plant's presence as they were shocked to see him up.

"Everyone check for ships near the Hopeland Orphanage and the Terminal area this instant. That's an order!" Knives called out as everyone scattered into their positions.

~*~

After giving commands, Knives went back to the piano room to play more musical pieces that crescendoed gradually. He instructed everyone not to bother him unless they found the ship or any leads that could take him to his destination. Knives was filled with anticipation just thinking that he finally found something that would lead him closer to Y/n. Oh how he couldn't contain his emotions as they flowed through each note and chord. It wasn't until sunset that Con'rad knocked and entered into the piano room.

"We found a ship Northeast of the Terminal. Legato said he spotted a few people walking in and out from it. He managed to spot on of their ID cards that said Ship 8," the doctor informed as Knives smirked.

"So, we finally found it. I'll be on my way then," Knives spoke as he closed the piano and dawned on his cloak.

~*~

Legato brought Knives to the ship that was concealed between multiple dunes in the desert. Legato forced the door open with his abilities, as Knives walked inside. The ship alarm went off as people were panicking inside. The plant couldn't stand of the incessant noise as he used his blades to silence them once and for all. Some of the humans brought out weapons to defend themselves, but Knives merely scoffed as he continued to walk. Meanwhile, Legato would take care of the crew members and force open every door they passed by. Knives glanced at each room to find the usual bedrooms. He kept walking deeper inside the ship until he spotted three people guarding one room.

"Stay back! Just what do you want from us?!" one of them yelled.

"Where are your plants?" Legato asked.

"You can't have them! We spent years of research just keeping them alive. We're so close to making a breakthrough!" another one argued as Knives figured he must be getting closer. The plant whipped his blades at the humans while Legato forced open the door. Inside were several dependents plants resting in their chambers. Further down was another room. Knives felt something calling out to him the closer he walked to the room. Once Legato forced open the door, inside was another human and behind him was a confinement cell that consisted of lost technology. But inside, Knives saw a passed out figure that he's come to recognize instantly and gently spoke, "Y/n"

"Y-y-you want them? Here! Take 'em! Just please spare me! I was only following orders!" the human begged as he pressed a button that seemed to unlock the cell Y/n was in. This had to be one of the people that subjected Y/n to all those tests. Knives glared at him and cast multiple sharp tendrils to silence the human as he stepped inside the cell. The plant slowly reached his hand to Y/n and brushed off a few stray hairs from their face. Oh he couldn't believe he finally found the one person in his dreams. He then noticed their breathing was slow, but their chest slowly rose and fell steadily.

Knives gently picked up Y/n in his sturdy arms, bridal style. Y/n was light and frail but they had all the qualities that the blonde grew fond of. Knives finally got what he came for as he motioned to Legato that his business here was done. Legato walked out of the room first to clear the path in case oany other humans attacked. As the plant took a few steps, Y/n began to stir as Knives stopped in his tracks. His sky eyes met their e/c eyes widen.

"Knives? Is that really you? Am I dreaming?" Y/n spoke softly as they reached their hand to touch the blonde's face smiled.

"Yes Y/n, it is. And no, this is reality. I finally came for you. We're leaving this ship together," he replied with a genuine smile. Y/n's eyes lit up and wrapped their other hand behind their neck.

"I never thought I'd see the day where you finally rescue me from this place. Thank you for never giving up on me Knives," Y/n spoke as they held on tightly to the plant. Knives leaned in closely to Y/n's face as he rested his forehead onto theirs. He was savoring this very moment, while reassuring them that they were now safe under his care.

"I should be thanking you for helping me find you through those dreams. Now let's go to your new home. Far away from this place where you'll never be experimented on again by these pesky humans," he cooed and placed a gentle kiss on their forehead. He looked again to see a pink blush dusted on their cheeks as Y/n fondly looked at them. They nuzzled their head onto his neck as Knives continued to walk towards the exit. Finally, Knives was able to accomplish one of his goals of saving a fellow dear plant. No more anxiously waiting to see Y/n temporarily through dreams or agonize over whether they would show up or not. No more seeing them in pain or constantly worry about their time being limited. Now, he was finally united with his beloved Y/n as he intended to never let them go or be separated anymore. Now, his loneliness was replaced with the warmth that Y/n brought as Knives looked forward to spending more uninterrupted time with them in his humble abode.

#knives millions #millions knives #million knives x reader #millions knives x reader #millions knives x you #millions knives x y/n #knives x y/n #knives x you #knives x reader #trigun stampede #trigun x reader #trigun stampede x reader

[rowiewritesstuff]

Yandere tfp Soundwave and shockwave?

Yandere Soundwave Fic:

TFP Yandere Shockwave X Reader

Shockwave doesn’t really feel emotions like everyone else. Yes, he has feelings like anger and pride- but he very rarely felt sad or sympathetic- and never the feeling of love.

When he saw you with the Autobots he just saw you as another annoyance- not someone he would grow to care for. 

When Soundwave took Ratchet, you were cradled in Ratchet’s arms. You were his assistant. You didn’t know much about science to start out with, but you were a mechanic. That helped you to be a good medic for basic repairs- eventually you learned a lot more under Ratchet’s care. You were very quick to learn and quickly surpassed him in knowledge (though he would never admit it).

Once on the ship, Ratchet agreed to help Megatron- on the terms you stayed with him the entire time. You were his assistant, and he needed you. 

Shockwave objected to having a small being getting in the way of their science, but Megatron told him it would only be temporary.

Shockwave was impressed when he discovered that you were proficient in Cybertronian sciences. This made him wonder about the brain capacity for humans. 

Soon enough, he started experiments on humans in a separate lab. He wanted to know all about you and your brain.

When the synthetic energon formula was almost completed, he went to Megatron to ask him a favor. 

“Lord Megatron,” he bowed. 

“What is it, Shockwave?” Megatron’s eyes never left the datapad he was reading through. 

“I would like to keep the human once the use for the autobot medic is no more.”

This made Megatron look up in interest. “Oh?”

Shockwave sucked up his pride to admit that you were better than him. “The human is… incredibly intelligent. They are also barely a threat as long as they are kept under a watchful eye. It would be a waste to simply dispose of them.”

Megatron couldn’t help but smirk. “I see. Well, as long as you prevent another ‘incident’ from happening again, I suppose you can keep it.”

Shockwave wouldn’t let another incident happen again. You had gotten out of the room somehow, and gotten into the dinner hall’s energon supply- which you proceeded to blow up. Three Vehicons were killed, and another seven injured. You were attempting to find a way out when you were cornered, so you tried to escape anyway you could. When they caught you, you weren’t punished out of a worry Ratchet would stop working.

When Ratchet grabbed you up in an attempt to escape, Megatron caught you both. Megatron snatched you up in his claws as he forced you both back into the lab. You were dropped onto a table when Ratchet grabbed you up.

Knockout was there, and he clicked his glossa at you. “Nice try~” he mocked, holding the correct Synthetic Energon recipe.

Shockwave pulled a sample out of a machine. “Spectral analysis confirms- that the synthetic energon is stable.” He held the glass up to Megatron. “The formula is now complete.” 

You whispered to Ratchet while they talked. “Ratch, maybe we can try to escape again.” The old bot merely shook his head when Megatron turned to us.

“Ahh, a pity you won’t live long enough to witness the fruits of your labor. But as much as we appreciate your contributions, doctor, I’ve made a promise to someone I intend to keep.” 

You’re suddenly plucked from Ratchet's hand and you scream loudly. “No! Let me go!”

You watch as Ratchet is dragged out of the room as you struggle to try to get to him. “Your struggle is illogical. There is no escape.” The deep voice of your captor sounded above you. You looked up at Shockwave with fear.

“What do you want from me? You have the formula! And where did you take Ratchet?!”

His single optic glowed a little bit brighter. “It is illogical to kill you when you possess so much potential. As for your Autobot friend, I suspect that Predaking has already made quick work of him.”

You felt as if your world fell apart around you. “I’ll never work for you.” You say quietly.

Shockwave learned in, inches away from your face. “We’ll see about that. There’s more than one way to get you to do as I want. For example- do you still care for the human children?” 

The look of horror on your face was all he needed to see. “It would be a shame if something were to happen to them. The only logical thing to do now is to work with me. Now, hand me the number 13 driver.” Shockwave ordered as he put you onto the table, continuing his work.

You began to cry as you dragged the heavy tool over to him, knowing that you have to do what he says or else he'll take everyone else you love from you.

#yandere #shockwave #tfp shockwave #transformers #transformers prime #yandere shockwave #ratchet #megatron #vehicon #vehicons #knockout #transformers prime shockwave #yandere tfp shockwave #tw #tw yandere

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

What’s your take on the topic of transandrophobia/oppression that specifically transmascs face? I think your queer takes are really good, but I’m curious about your opinion on that specific topic, since it’s kind of a controversial one these days

i think there are things trans people as a whole face and I think there are experiences only faced by trans women and experiences only faced by trans men in terms of discrimination because society treats what it views as a man impersonating a woman and a woman impersonating a man differently. I don’t like in-fighting because it leads to exclusionism and a divided community, and I think claiming a group you aren’t a part of doesn’t experience “as serious” oppression or whatever is very unhelpful.

I think that in a time where trans people are losing all basic human rights at an alarming rate in several countries with bills being brought forth that would more or less allow trans genocide to be protected by law, arguing whether or not transandrophobia is valid or whatever is unnecessary. Time and place. I’m obviously not going to state which direction I’m trans, but I do think that it is objectively a bad take to say a group you aren’t a part of is not discriminated against as much as your group. Just in general.

I’ve never understood why this particular discourse has gotten so spiteful and has come to the point people say “if you think transandrophobia is real you HATE trans women” or claim that TERFs only target trans women and don’t pose a threat to trans men. Because those things certainly aren’t true. I’ve never seen people actually discuss this topic in a normal manner so I haven’t seen the full context of what transandrophobia is even supposed to refer to. I see people get jumped on for using the term and called transmisogynistic for it, and that’s it.

[xr0tt3nxfl3shx]

To be human (or worse, prey)

My strange roommate fic!!! (I've never writen fanfiction before lmk what you think [be nice about it though pls])

I have felt quite different lately, a feeling I was once familiar with has taken a new shape.

I live with a man, a human man, one I should’ve eaten a while ago at that. As I walk past my roommates bedroom I resist my hunger, ‘can’t eat him yet’ I thought. I go over my pre-established reasonings for keeping myself in this less than savory situation.

I need to integrate into this society somehow, my roommate is my only frame of reference for human normalcy really. As much as it’d be easier to just eat him now, I cannot understand these people on my own. Clearly there's much to learn if I ever want to move on from merely hunting forest creatures. That's not to mention the payoff, after a long week of pretending to feel things I can't, there is nothing better than fresh meat.

As always I have made it back from “work” right before dusk, and in the same way I am preparing food that I cannot eat. Though my roommate never assigned me this task, it's a necessary part of my contribution. I’ve found humans like it when you make yourself useful, and he doesn’t have the time to do this for himself.

Maneuvering this vessel is more difficult than I thought it’d be. Humans make it look so easy, moving fluidly with every action while I find myself fumbling over every little articulation. They expect you to move even when it’s unnecessary. Apparently not taking part in their hand gestures and arbitrary body language is frowned upon.

Searing pans and mixing bowls rest at the bottom of the sink. I heard his car as it pulled into the driveway, and the lock’s click as he unlocked the door. He greets me at the entrance with a small wave and a polite smile, but only polite. How passive. He still treats me as though I am a stranger. I set his plate in front of his usual seat at the dining table.

He takes his seat and I take mine right across from him and stare as I always do, though I can’t help but get lost in my thoughts. I’ve heard him on the phone, he aspires to get a job he knows is out of reach for him. He listens to music in his room when he gets ready, he says it motivates him. He cares when other people get hurt, even though it doesn’t affect him. All things that I’m constantly reminded are normal amongst people, yet completely foreign to me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t–

“Hey, are you alright?”

He spoke uneasily.

“You’ve been staring for.. a while now.” Yes I’ve heard of this, staring is considered rude isn’t it? He looks at me pensively, like he's trying to figure me out. It’s the same look he’s been giving me since I cooked and served him his cat last week.

I don’t understand this reaction, why would he raise such a creature if not to be eaten, perhaps he was saving it for one of those special occasions. You know how they are, humans and their special occasions.

“I’m going to watch this new movie, over on the couch,” he says.

Why is he telling me this?

“... if you’d like to join me maybe.”

Oh. This is quite unexpected, maybe I misunderstood our standing. He shifts around, seemingly getting more and more uncomfortable the longer the silence stretches on.

“I’ll uh- I will be in the living room.”

I didn’t think this far ahead honestly, I thought I would’ve eaten him by now. This offer is one I would expect of an acquaintance. Are he and I acquainted?

He’s already gotten comfortable in the living room by the time I come in. “Oh! You actually came,” He wasn’t really expecting me to take him up on his offer was he? He makes room for me to sit near him on the pillow adorned couch, more for decoration than comfort. “I mean, I’m glad. Come sit!”

I sit next to him, awkward movements every step of the way, this place is one I usually only experience in passing. There was never any reason to be in here other than to enter the kitchen. I believe I’ve spent more of my time in his room than here. Admittedly I sometimes watch him at night, controlling my gluttony is no easy feat. At least I can take solace in knowing when this is all over snuffing him out will be no issue. Besides, It's his fault for leaving his door unlocked.

I sit with my hands clasped in my lap. I never know where to put those things.

With a few clicks of the remote he’s signed into some kind of account, playing some kind of film. I am technically looking at the screen but I pay no attention. I can’t while he’s here, just across the couch yet still much too close. I watch him from my peripheral vision, only about fifteen minutes in and he seems to be entranced. It's fascinating how invested he is in this.

Maybe I can settle down a little as well.

I don’t really know when but eventually I found myself invested in the movie on screen as well, and that came with a new-found serenity. Caught in a fictional world, I think for the first time I wasn’t hyper aware of my surroundings or the people in them. Just for a moment I didn’t feel the need to stalk or hunt and it wasn’t life or death. Only for a moment though.

My roommate clears his throat, the unexpected noise was jarring to me in the state I was in. I nearly forgot he was even there.

“The movie’s almost over already, huh?” he said. He’s closer than I remember him being, it would seem we got closer as we adjusted to more comfortable positions on the couch. I don’t like that.

“This is weird isn’t it?” I have no gauge for what’s ‘weird’ and what's ‘normal’ here, but I’ll go along with it.

“Me asking you to hang out with me out of the blue like this I mean. I just had a long day and-” He sighs, sounding quite dejected. It’s not like I have anything else left to do here. it's

“None of my friends have picked up the phone either, I really appreciate you, you know, being here and all that.” I watch the corners of his lips tug into a frown, muscles I haven’t quite learned to use yet, as he runs his fingers through his hair. I scoot just a bit closer, there's this look in his eyes. Something sad, vulnerable even. I try my best to soften my demeanor, to present as something that's not a threat. It does not come naturally.

He looks away, glancing back at the screen, unsure of himself I’d presume. Maybe I can be of comfort. I place my hand on his where it rests on the couch, I try to remain non threatening. This contact feels deeply strange, I can feel every inch of his warm skin from the tip of my fingers to the end of my palm. He might agree given the look on his face. He looks me up and down with widened eyes, is this not how you comfort?

The serenity I felt is long gone but something different has taken hold of me. It's a familiar feeling, quickened heartbeat, amplified senses, adrenaline pumping through me, but how can I, in fight or flight, feel so still. “Oh.. wow. I didn’t-” Hesitance laces his voice. “I didn’t take you for a very touchy person.”

I’m stuck being acutely aware of every little twitch of his hand and every little thing he does yet unable to do anything about it. Something’s changed.

My heart pumps in my chest, there's heat running up my face, a feeling rising in me with every second our skin remains touching. Something must be seriously wrong because as visceral as this feeling is I cannot for the life of me pull away. I can’t help but feel my very life is on the line as he reciprocates my touch and interlocks our fingers.

I feel so though I am suffocating as if something is gripping my heart and lungs, the air is heavy. The silence is deafening, every sensation overwhelming but with my muscles locked in place there's no end in sight. Why does he have to look at me like that, like there's always something he’s leaving unsaid.

And the hints of curiosity in his voice like he wants to know more, he thinks I don’t notice. And why does any of it have to bother me so much? Why does he have to make me care? Maybe I’m becoming weak.

What started in a moment ends just as quickly as his hand slips out of mine. I am already growing cold without his touch. “Again, thank you for being here. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He doesn’t sound so sad anymore at least. My heart is no longer pounding against my chest so hard, though I’m still left to my thoughts, and ultimately I am left feeling empty.

I’d want him to come back and make me whole again if it wasn’t for the horrible feelings that came with. But it's no matter, it shouldn’t be long before he falls asleep and he never locks his bedroom door.

—————

I'm by no means serious about the ship but i think its neat tbh, also nonhuman characters are so real to me so theres that

Hope you enjoyed X3

#wears a human skinsuit and is possibly a flesh eating monster x just a fucking guy #my strange roommate #ashur gharavi #agcu #first fic ever wow woww #more of a reader not a writer💀 #Spotify

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

Nora discovers from shaun that her 210 years being frozen has altered her aging process to where she's functionally immortal and everyone tries to comfort her when she tells them

Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy! I’m a little out of practice with these, but I’m hoping I can get back to it and do at least a few more in the next few days 🥰 I know there’s quite a few requests that I haven’t done, lol

Cait - “Well, isn’t that a fine turn of events... I’m sorry, F!Sole. Is there anyone I can... persuade... to help?”

Piper - “Oh, gosh, Blue... I’m.... I’m so, so sorry. I can’t imagine... Gosh, is there anything I can do? I’m here for you.”

Curie - “Oh, no... I am not aware of what the aging process is for generation three synths, but do not fear, Madame! I shall look into this, and I will see what I can find out. Please do not cry!”

MacCready - “Wow... I mean... I guess now would be a bad time to tell that joke about Bon Jovi’s ‘It’s My Life,’ heh... Yeah, that’s... too soon.” 

Deacon - “Woah... I’ve always wondered what immortality would be like... Guess you’re going to have all the answers.... Just... Don’t focus on the bad. Think of all the cool stuff you can do now. You can be like the wisest human in the Commonwealth, collecting all the secrets in the history of like... ever.”

Codsworth - “Oh, Mum... That’s quite awful. But... Looking at the bright side, I suppose that we could be together forever! I look forward to serving our little family for many more years!”

Hancock - “Welcome to immortality, sister. It’s one awful burden. I mean, I haven’t gotten far enough to see the burden part, but I know what you’re worried about. I’m sorry.”

Danse - “I... That’s... Unimaginable. I’m truly sorry... Wait... Considering my identity as a synth... Could I possibly be immortal as well? In that case, I want you to know that I won’t leave you for as long as you will let me stay.”

Preston - “General.... That’s... Man... If there’s anything I can do for you, you just let me know. I know this has to be rough on you.

Valentine - “Well, kid... If it makes you feel any better, I’m kind of in the same boat as you. So if you’ll have me, I’m here with you ‘til the end of the line. Whenever that comes along.”

X6-88 - “This is an interesting turn of events. The Institute could truly use you and this information to further experiments with human immortality.”

Dogmeat - Knows something is wrong with his human, and he knows that she is sad. However, he will never leave her side, and he vows to stick with her and give her every lick to her face that he can, knowing that she needs him right now. He is not about to let her down.

Strong - “Tiny human live forever?! Strong confused... Tiny humans no live forever!!! Tiny, puny humans die!!! Super-mutant live forever!!!”

#piper wright #curie #fallout 4 #fallout #fo4 #f!sole #female sole survivor #cait #x6-88 #dogmeat #strong #danse #hancock #john hancock #nick valentine #paladin danse #preston garvey #codsworth #deacon #maccready #robert maccready #robert joseph maccready #companion reacts #companion react #fallout 4 companion react #fallout 4 companion reacts