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h0neypjm · 3 years

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Just for practice | kth

↳ Summary: “I think we should normalise giving head to your friends as practice.”

↳ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, slight Hoseok x reader

↳ Genre: Smut, pwp, some plot i guess, best friend! Taehyung

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 5.3k

↳ Warnings: swearing, lip biting, hickies, oral (both female and male receiving), rough blowjobs, spanking, fingering, squirting, big dick! Tae, possessiveness/jealousy, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap pls), dom/sub themes, Taehyung calls reader lots of pet names (sweetheart, darling, good girl), degradation, biting, slight cockwarming

↳ a/n: I’ve been having major writer’s block while writing confident :( however, i saw this tweet which prompted this lil oneshot hope you enjoy

Jung Hoseok [ 2:15 PM ]

Am I gonna see you at Seokjin’s tomorrow?

You [ 2:16 PM ]

I’ll be there :)

Jung Hoseok [ 2:18 PM ]

You’re not gonna run away from me this time, right?

You [ 2:20 PM ]

No of course not haha

Jung Hoseok [ 2:21 PM ]

Is that a promise princess?

A sigh flies out of your mouth like wind through a window and you’re shucking off your glasses in an instant. Hoseok’s texts bringing back a flurry of memories that you wish to forget.

“Do you need help with your essay again?”

Your eyes are strained when they try to focus on Taehyung, your shoulders shrug in defeat. “No, I’m fine. It’s just-”

Taehyung knows immediately, he is your best friend after all. “Let me guess, It’s Hoseok isn’t it?”

You slump in your seat while a pout is cutely drawn onto your face, you nod with dismay. “I really like him Tae, and every time we see each other, It’s like the universe has it out for me and tries to make sure I embarrass myself in front of him.”

Taehyung shuts his laptop because he knows there's no use in trying to write an essay while you speak about your utterly tragic love life. He thinks about your situation for a minute before he speaks.

“Yes, you might’ve spilled your beer on him and accidentally punched him in the eye, more than once. But, if he’s still texting you he’s obviously still into you. It’s a good sign sweetheart.” Taehyung pats your hand across the coffee table, a comforting smile adorning his handsome face.

Taehyung doesn’t know the full extent of your problem and the more you think about it the more embarrassing it becomes. So you smile back at him uttering a small thank you before turning back to your laptop.

Taehyung raises a brow, “wait, wait, hang on, something is still bothering you.”

You frown, “it’s embarrassing.”

Taehyung shuffles around the corner of the coffee table as if you’re about to tell him a secret, though it’s just the two of you in his small apartment. “Just tell me, it can’t be that bad.”

“Taehyung it is that bad.” You tilt your head at him, pulling up the sleeves of your sweater around your tiny fists. “You’re gonna laugh at me.”

Taehyung feigns shock at your words, his hands placed on his heart for dramatic effect. “I would never laugh, and frankly I’m offended you think that low of me.”

You roll your eyes, turning your body more towards him, deciding it wouldn't hurt letting Taehyung know the thoughts plaguing your mind. “Well, you know how Hoseok and I have been kind of flirty lately, right?” He nods in understanding.

“I can tell he wants more than that, you know? His touches are small but I know exactly what he’s suggesting, and don’t get me wrong, the feeling is completely mutual because trust me I want that too. Really bad.”

Taehyung hums, interrupting your soon-to-be graphic rambling. “I totally get it Y/N. Now let’s stop beating around the bush so I can help you.”

If Taehyung were a girl, this would be so much easier. You curse your eight-year-old self who just had to become friends with a boy because God, how do you even start?

Taehyung is a patient man, always giving you space before helping you but, in this situation, you feel it’s best to just rip the band-aid off. Taehyung if you can read my mind, please don’t laugh at me.

“I’venevergivensomeoneablowjob.”

You speak so suddenly, Taehyung’s not so sure he heard you correctly. “Huh?”

“Goddammit Tae”, you rub and your temples and avoid his stare. “I’ve never given someone a blowjob!”

His eyes are wide. “Oh”

You hide your face into the table while your body internally cringes. At least he didn’t laugh. “See! You do think it’s bad.”

“I’m just surprised to be honest”, he reassures, leaning back onto his palms, strong brows pulled together in thought. “Shit Y/N, have you really never sucked a dick before?”

Sure, you’ve had sex many times (most of which have been extremely disappointing) but, it seems that most of your hookups want to get straight into fucking. No foreplay, no nothing. Just unseasoned, pleasureless fucking.

A groan rumbles out of your throat, “It just never happened! They were all about that hump and dump lifestyle I guess.”

Taehyung is utterly baffled at your statement. In Taehyung’s books, It is compulsory to treat every women like a queen. Preparing and edging them the perfect amount of times to see them crumble so sensually by his very doing. To Taehyung, seeing a woman cry out his name from experiencing the most explosive, leg-shaking orgasm was always his favourite part.

This is why Taehyung is absolutely shattered for you. “So, you’re also telling me no one has ever eaten you out?” You miserably nod, “that’s actually fucking evil!”

His words do not ease you one bit as you throw your head onto the seat behind you. “The way you say it makes me feel even worse. This is the sole reason why I run away from Hoseok and make a fool out of myself.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything, the air floating around carrying an awkward silence. You don’t really care and you don’t expect Taehyung to think of a solution. Plus, you’re already embarrassed enough.

You might as well leave and ask one of your girlfriends for help, maybe finish your essay while you’re at it. You sigh, shutting your laptop and stacking your books together.

However, the next sentence that flies out of Taehyung’s mouth makes you stop dead in your tracks.

“I think I’ve figured out how I can help you.”

Wiggling back into a comfortable seating position, you lean into Taehyung with interest. “And how might you help me, dear Taehyung?”

He eyes you nervously, his fingers fiddling with his chunky rings, “You trust me, right?”

You smile, “yeah, of course, you’re my best friend Tae.”

An exhale puffs out of his mouth. “Why not practice on me?”

You almost choke on your spit. You definitely did not expect him to say that. “Could you repeat that please?”

A new glint of mischief sparkles in his eye. “Why not let me teach you how to give Hoseok the blowjob of his life and in return, I’ll eat you out”

Your brain is having a meltdown.

“You’re fucking crazy”, you wail. “You actually want me to suck your dick?”

He brings his hands up in defence, “I think we should normalize giving head to your friends as practice, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. Think about it, you get to learn and cum at the same time.”

You won’t lie to yourself, the proposal is tempting and in all honesty, Taehyung is hot as fuck. You will forever thank the Gods above for blessing you with the delicious sight that is your best friend. However, the proposition puts you in an odd spot.

Apprehensive about your thoughts, you state your unease, “I-I don’t know Taehyung, don’t you think this might ruin our friendship?” An exhale, “have you seriously thought of me that way?”

Taehyung chuckles, it’s deep and totally unexpected to your question. “Sweetheart, there are many things that go on inside my head involving you. And to answer your question, they’re not completely innocent.”

A startled gasp is ripped from your throat and your stomach flutters with a dangerous mix of nervousness, thrill and dare you say arousal.

Never in your life would you have imagined Kim Taehyung, your best friend since grade school, seeing you in such an inviting way. To make matters worse, It was intimidating to think about his fair share of experience and the long line of women backing up the fact that Taehyung was indeed some sort of sex demon.

Of course, you felt the same way. How could you not! The man was practically an incarnation of a Greek God. Broad sturdy shoulders that sat atop thick muscular thighs, and how could you forget his gorgeous fingers.

You’d die before you admit it, but there have been many nights where you have found yourself thinking about what his pretty long fingers could do to you. Those nights always ended with a mess of your sheets and a wetness between your thighs. It was your dirty little secret, however, it seems Taehyung also had some of his own.

His sharp eyes storm with darkness when he speaks, “don’t lie Y/N, I know you’ve had some dirty thoughts about me up in that pretty little head of yours.”

Pink blossoms over your cheeks like wildfire because he’s so terrifyingly right. “I don’t even need to touch you sometimes, one look and you’re a goner.” You gulp. “Look at you right now.” His gaze drops down to your thighs. “All my talking making you so needy, you need to clench your thighs to keep it together.”

He smiles, though it’s not his usual boxy, boyish smile. It’s dangerous and seductive almost smirking and shit when did he get so close to you? Your breathing is erratic and you have no idea how you could be so anxious yet so amorous at the same time.

Your heart beats rapidly in your ears. “This is just for practice, right?”

Taehyung curses under his breath, “just for practice sweetheart.”

You don’t get to respond.

His lips are hesitant at first when they meet yours, yet his hands say the opposite. They start at your waist and tickle their way down to your stiff hands. Ever so gently, he pries them open, intertwining his long fingers with yours, and God, did his hands feel so right.

Your nerves dissipate slowly but surely as you allow him to explore your mouth with his skilful tongue.

Much to Taehyung’s dismay, he finds you releasing your fingers from his own. Your hands flying to the nape of his neck, ultimately bringing him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Taehyung moans in delight when you tug at his long curls, you bite his lip in reply while lust paints your vision and dampens your panties.

Taehyung never knew he would miss the feeling of your lips against his when he painfully pushes himself away to situate himself comfortably on the couch. It was time for the lesson to begin.

You pout at the distance, trying to wiggle close until he motions for you to get into a particular position. Your insides swell with eagerness.

His voice is sweet and his hands are delicate when he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Get down on your knees for me sweetheart.” You obey immediately. He smirks at your sinking form. “Good girl.”

You swear right then and there your pussy had gained a working heartbeat at his words. The unfamiliar pulse thumping as if it were trying to break loose from the constraints of your sweatpants.

Your eyes are big and expectant, slowly drinking up the sight of Taehyung’s delicious figure seated above you. He sits on the couch like it’s his throne, legs spread to accompany your kneeling figure, and dominating stare pinning you down. A shiver runs down your spine.

“Wh-what do I do now?” You utter, making it known to Taehyung that he is in charge. He is in control.

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, using a decorated pointer finger to hither your hands towards him. Hesitantly, you raise both hands, lightly placing them down on his thighs.

A click of his tongue makes its way to your ears and you know you’ve already made your first mistake. Taehyung’s brows furrow, it’s obvious you need to make the next move but your brain is fuzzy and flustered.

He sighs at your confused silence, bringing your small hands onto his belt. Oh, you know what you’re supposed to do now.

“I thought you were smarter than this, how else are you meant to get my dick out, hmm?” The blush across your cheeks has definitely spread profusely from his teasing. Its once peachy pink tone deepening into an embarrassing cherry red.

The buckle of his belt jingles under your fingertips as you nervously undo them. You’re apparently too slow for his liking, Taehyung finishing the job by pulling his belt off his pants, leaving you to stare down at the large bulge covered by the fabric of his tight jeans. You thought you had your nerves under control but the way your hands start to shake is an indication that this is real. You’re really about to suck your best friend off.

Ever the observant friend, Taehyung is quick to notice the slight shake in your fingers. “Wait, stop.”

You do as he says, quickly settling your palms back on the thickness of his covered thighs. “Are you sure you want to do this? your hands are shaking sweetheart.” His voice is laced with concern, a total switch to his previous words.

Clearing your throat you reply, “oh, no, no I’m fine.” You lock eyes. “I just want to make sure I’m doing good so I can be good for him.”

Possessiveness flares within Taehyung’s chest and he has no idea why. Although he doesn’t let it show, he can’t help the swell of his ego at the knowledge that he’s the first to get you like this. Not Hoseok. Him.

So, he grins his wide boxy grin, dragging a finger down your warm cheek. “Don’t worry darling, you’re in great hands”

The commanding smirk etched onto his lips sparks a surge of confidence through your veins, begging you to finally touch him.

With a tug of your small hands, Taehyung’s constricting jeans are pried off the taut muscle of his thighs and are left to pool around his ankles. The excitement of finally being able to suck dick coursing through your body like lighting, and just like his jeans, Taehyung’s boxers are off in a second.

His cock springs, tall, hard and proud. Your jaw drops, Taehyung chuckles at your reaction. You feel an ooze of wetness pooling in your panties.

His size is nothing you’ve seen before, thick and girthy with an impressive length to match. You wince at the thought of fitting him down your throat.

The cold metal of his rings against your hands brings your attention to Taehyung’s handsome face. Without breaking any eye contact, he wordlessly wraps your hands around the thickness of his cock.

It’s warm and swells in your palm, your two dainty hands stacked on top of each other. Fingers trying so hard to wrap themselves around the sheer girth of his cock.

You’re not dumb, you know what comes next. With a sharp inhale you begin to stroke up his length, paying close attention to his facial expression to get an idea of how well you’re doing

Taehyung’s head tilts to get a better view at your hands, “grip it tighter for me… yeah fuck that’s it.”

His praise boasts you on, holding tighter onto his cock and gathering the slick of his pre-cum with a twist of your wrist. Your eyes remain focused on the way the skin moves with your hands and the way his tip glistens with arousal. You want to lick it.

“When you’re ready you can put your mouth- Ahh shit Y/N!”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence when you’re already so eager to have him in your mouth. You do what you think would feel best, sucking on the head of his cock like a sweet ice lolly on a hot summer's day. Your tongue tracing the thick circumference before dipping into his slit.

A light groan falls from his mouth as he watches you lap at the remaining pre-cum that glistens in the afternoon light. Taehyung almost forgets why he’s here, lost in your plump lips wet with saliva.

Right, he’s here to teach you how to give a blowjob. “Try and take my whole length in darling.”

You nod, taking a deep breath, your mouth opening wider to take him in as far as you can. You try to keep your throat relaxed taking him inch by inch.

“That's a good girl”, he praises, “you’re doing so well for me.”

Your knees squeeze together, acting to relieve some pressure on your aching heat. It had truly been a while since you got some serious action.

Surprisingly you’re able to make your way to the hilt of his cock, a choked gag sputtering from your lips.

A few strands of hair fall in your face, blocking your eyes in the process. Swiftly, Taehyung brushes the hair from your eyes while simultaneously lifting your head off of his cock.

You release him with a satisfying pop, your eyes wide and makeup a little smudged. Taehyung coaches you through the next steps. “I want you to try and do that again, but when you come back up, lick the length of my cock and look at me while you do it.”

Humming in acknowledgment you grip the base of his cock before pausing. “Isn’t this what you like though? What if Hoseok likes to be touched in a different way?”

An unintentional growl bubbles out of his mouth. Oh how he wished he could take your mind off Hoseok and have you screaming his name, thinking about him instead.

He pushes down his discontentment with the other man on your mind, “men are simple creatures Y/N, just making out sometimes can get them going. And judging by the way you’re sucking my cock right now, I’m sure Hoseok will be crazy for you.”

As Taehyung explains the ins and outs of a man’s brain, you don’t make an effort to stop the teasing of his cock. His words sound slurred, they go in one ear and out the other, and besides the delicious length in front of you is much more fascinating.

For the time being you stare up at him, your eyes wide feigning interest in his words, all while you grip his cock in one hand and continuously lap at his tip with a kitten-like flick of your tongue.

Taehyung finally realises that you’ve stopped listening when he feels the small yet downright sensual pleasure shooting through his cock. He grunts, pushing your hair back once again, “fuck, that’s hot. You’re so fucking good.”

His preoccupied hand squeezes the pillows beside him, the veins of his hands popping out. You do what he taught you, seductive eyes laser focused on him while your wicked tongue leaves a hot trail up the prominent vein on his dick.

“Shit Y/N you’re doing so well-”

You release him from your mouth disrupting his sentence, “can you fuck my throat?”

Taehyung swears his whole body just convulsed at your request. He looks away just so he can contain himself because holy shit.

Obviously Taehyung has thought about you being in this position, saying those words. Yet, no matter how many times he fantasizes this scenario, nothing would ever prepare him for those words to actually come out of your mouth with the most bewitching grin plastered on your pretty face.

He stutters, “I- no, I don’t know if you can take it darling.”

You grip his thighs, pout forming on those dangerous lips of yours, “please Tae, I want it. Want you to use me.”

Taehyung pushes the curls of his bangs away, a hiss steaming from his lips. “Alright, but if you feel any discomfort pinch my thigh, okay sweetheart?”

You’re impatient, “yeah, yeah, I can take your monster dick.” You place a small kiss on his thigh, “do your worst.”

His movements are all too fast, all too sudden. His fingers securing a death-grip on the mess of your hair before holding his cock up to your mouth. “You asked for it darling.”

Your mouth automatically widens, welcoming the rough intrusion of his cock as it slides all the way down your throat. A lewd gag fills the room.

A dark cloud of lust of dominance fogs Taehyung’s vision, his biceps flexing when he brings your head up and down his thick velvety length.

The room resounds with the filthy wet noises of your saliva covered lips pumping repeatedly. Taehyung breathes heavily through his nose, tilting his head against the cushions behind him. He keeps his hips still, yanking your hair at an obscene pace. A slew of curses and moans fly out into the air as he revels at the complete state of ecstasy you’ve put him under.

The heat of his member burns the back of your throat but you fucking love it. You open your teary eyes, gazing at his chiseled jaw and the way he shivers and groans above you. It only spurs you on when he glances back down, meeting your mascara ruined eyes.

It’s like a knee-jerk reaction. Taehyung harshly pushes your head all the way to the base of his cock. Your face is met with his abdomen, the hairs of his happy trail tickling your nose.

He leaves you there, and the burn in your throat rises, leaving you gagging, your throat tightening around him.

Taehyung believes after this he could never get the image of your messy docile eyes and tarnished lips out of his brain. He feels your throat constrict, “sh-shit, fuck Y/N, breathe through your nose.” You inhale. “That’s my good girl.”

He releases you from his member only to push your lips back onto him, going back to his beastly pace. “You look so fucking pathetic, you think Hoseok wants a messy girl like you?”

You gurgle around him, tears freely falling down your cheeks as you try to shake your head no. He only mumbles out a groan, his cock abruptly pulsing under your tongue like a steady heartbeat.

It's all too sudden when he releases your head off his length, a glob of drool dripping down your chin and onto your shirt.

“Fuck sorry I was about to cum.”

Although your heart swells with pride you wonder, “why didn’t you?”

He runs a hand through his messy locks, “the purpose of this was to teach you, don’t you still want to practice?”

You’re smug with your answer, “I think I’ve got the hang of it now.”

He swipes a finger under your tear stained eyes, “getting cocky now are we.”

You were cocky indeed, “well I did get you shaking under my touch didn’t I?”

He rolls his eyes, “get up you brat, I’m gonna show you what you’ve been missing out on.”

Fucking finally.

You won’t lie, you were probably most excited to finally know what it feels like to receive head. Your mind is still fuzzy from Taehyung’s rough ministrations as you slowly get up. You wobble slightly and Taehyung is quick to stabilize you with two strong arms holding the curve of your hips in place.

With his arms already around you he pushes you towards the couch, kicking his jeans off in the process.

Back flat against his plush couch you’re already stripping off your sweatpants and panties together in one. “My, my aren’t you eager”, he teases, a glint of shamelessness twinkling in his brown orbs when he drinks up the plushness of your thighs leading to your dripping cunt.

Holding your knees in the palm on his hands, he spreads them open to reveal the glossy folds on your heat. He kisses his teeth, satisfaction and hunger clear on his face. “Fuck, isn’t this a pretty sight.”

His words bring back a blush on your cheeks, you pull him forward, your lips inches away from his own. “Shut up please.”

And he shuts you up real good. Smashing your lips to his, he envelopes you into a feverish kiss, your tongues dancing the devil's tango.

His hands are adventurous, feeling the mounds of your breasts over your shirt. “Why the fuck isn’t your shirt off yet huh?” He tuts, pulling on the cotton fabric.

“I want yours off too.” You cutely mumble tugging at the hem of his shirt, to which he complies, tugging it off in one fluid motion.

You peel your baggy shirt off just in time to see Taehyung's arm flex as he takes his very own shirt off. “Have you been working out? My God Tae, you're as big as Joon.”

He inwardly smirks because yeah he’s been working out and it's clearly paying off. He doesn’t want to show his glee however, “can we not talk about other men when I’m about to eat you out.”

You chuckle, eyes trailing down his buff arms to his v-line that leads to his dick like an arrow directing you to his treasure. You bite your lip, unclipping your lace bralette, “sure, sure, let’s get the show on the road.”

It’s Taehyung turn to drink up the sight of your body. “Fuck, always imagined what these tits looked like under all those tight clothes you wear.”

He’s really feeding into your praise kink. “Well, were they what you expected?”

He sucks on one immediately and you arch your back at the unexpected pleasure. “Even better”, he squeezes them in his palms, “they’re fucking gorgeous.”

He sucks a deep hickey under your left breast, leaving you whimpering with a hand tangled in his hair. “Always imagined what you sounded like moaning for me.”

You can’t reply, his touches burning through your skin. He kisses down your sternum to your stomach until he’s hovering above your aching clit, a tantalising grin on his face before he’s diving in.

“Fuck!” You wail at the unfamiliar yet mesmerising feelings. His tongue is stiff and pointed, flicking quickly up and down your bundle of nerves.

The grip you have on his hair is deathly but it's the only thing in your reach that can ground you. He licks a long stripe down your sopping slit, keeping his sharp eyes on you the whole time.

“F-feels so fucking good Tae!” You almost scream. He cups his lips around your swollen nub sucking on it with a shit-eating grin on his face.

You’re too dazed to comment on it, reeling in the new pleasures you’re experiencing. You stare down at him, your eyes half opened and so close to rolling to the back of your head.

However, they almost completely open wide at the sight presented before you. With two long fingers, Taehyung is shoving them in his mouth, soaking them with his spit before rubbing them onto your sensitive folds.

You beg. “Put them inside.. Please.” Taehyung doesn’t make a sound only kissing your clit as he plunges his ring decorated fingers into you.

You’re so wet his fingers slide into you with ease. He groans at the sensation, his view focused on the way your cunt greedily sucks him in.

“Look at you, getting my rings all dirty you filthy girl”, he scolds watching the way your essence drips into the crevices of his intricate jewellery.

Taehyung increases the pace of his long fingers, finger fucking you into euphoria. He doesn’t stop there, his lips returning to your desperate clit in a wet mess of your juices and his saliva.

You can feel your orgasm bubbling in your stomach. It's hot and feels so unlike any other upcoming orgasm you’ve experienced. His fingers curl inside of you, his palm slapping your folds with his rapid pace and his lips don’t give any sign of stopping.

“Taehyung- Tae, I’m cumming!” You really scream this time, your orgasm taking control over your body like a demon.

You swear your eyes black out, your body shaking, a warmth gushing out of your cunt as it spazzes out.

Your chest heaves and you blink, feeling a damp pool around you. Oh God, Did you piss yourself?

“Holy fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you just did that.”

You sit up, embarrassed, an apology falling from your lips.

“You just squirted on me.”

You’re flushed, “I- what?”

Taehyung almost looks akin to a wolf hunting down his prey. “That was the hottest fucking experience of my life, holy shit I’m so hard.”

Well at least you didn’t pee on his couch. There’s a surge of overwhelming need for his cock to be inside of you. You’ve never felt this way before, it’s scary but so is this whole experience. It’s definitely one for the books.

Getting up on your knees you hold onto his shoulders, Taehyung raises a brow. “Fuck, I need to ride you, can I ride you?”

You think you just saw his dick twitch at your words. He grins, “just for practice?”

Your smile is sickly sweet, “of course, just for practice.”

His arms are strong when he shuffles into a seated position all while holding your hips above his awaiting cock.

He pauses, a flash of his normal self resurfacing. “You’re on the pill yeah?”

You peck his lips, “yes, now stuff me full.”

That’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s sinking you down onto his length.

You both let out moans of pleasure at the feeling of being complete. The stretch hurts so bad but hurts so good. He fills you up so well it has you speechless, the air trapped inside your lungs refusing to be released until your walls are comfortable around his impressive girth.

Mumbling a soft curse, you swivel your hips in slow circles, getting used to his large size. Taehyung watches you, hunger written on his face as he licks his lips and examines the way you fit so perfectly on his lap.

You test the waters, holding onto his shoulders for support. You lift your hips and settle back onto his lap. He groans at the wet squelch it makes and slaps your ass, grabbing it in his hand to squeeze it.

You pick up the speed, pumping up and down, whimpering at how well he fills you up. You keep your gaze trained on the image of his dick disappearing in your heat and pulling out with a wet sheen.

Taehyung tucks a finger under your chin, bringing you close to his face to push his soft lips onto yours once again.

It’s weird to say, but you don’t think you can get tired of kissing your best friend. He knows exactly what you want and knows exactly how to make your head spin.

With his large hands of yours, you pick up the pace, slamming your ass onto his hips. You leave his lips, kissing the side of jaw and suckling a few lovebites behind his ear.

His voice is deep and sultry, “fuck yeah, that’s it.” You wail in his hold, pushing yourself to meet his thrusts below. Your thighs burn but the pleasure burns so much hotter.

You feel your second orgasm of the night rising within you and can tell Taehyung is close too. Taehyung assists you, using his thighs to push up into you. Your juices drip down onto his pelvis and both of your breaths get heavier.

His thrusts are fast and rough, creating loud slapping noises that echo around his empty apartment. He grunts, folding his head into the crook of your neck. He’s about to cum and so are you.

With one final gasp your release hits you like a truck. Your thigh shakes in his lap and Taehyung bites at the delicate skin of your neck. His warm seed shoots inside of you, eliciting a small sigh from your lips.

Taehyung releases his hold to lean back onto the couch. He keeps his softening cock inside of you, lazily staring at your fucked out expression.

You play with his rings, “well, how did I do?”

The shit-eating grin is back. “Hmmm, I think you may need more practice.”

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2K notes · View notes

inactiive · 3 years

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I jus need an extremely rough dom ron fic w a giant mix of daddy kink, choking, clit & tit slapping, reader being a sucker for his moans & he’s extremely loud & vocal & they’re on top grinding over his bulge when he’s in his boxers & then rides his thigh while he both praises & degrades her & then he fucks her rly hard pls😔

attention — r.w.

ron weasley x reader

summary: purposefully trying to push ron’s buttons is never a good idea.

warnings: degrading, daddy kink, choking, clit/tit slapping, thigh reading, grinding, praise kink, sex, swearing, stomach bulge, pet names, breeding kink, minor cockwarming, message me if i should add anything else!

authors note: i don’t really have an excuse as to why i haven’t uploaded in so long. i’m going to be uploading mostly on weekends now because the weekdays have been so hectic for me. but enjoy xx <3

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You let out a dramatic sigh loud enough so your husband, Ron Weasley, heard it down the hallway. It had been almost a week since he had touched you and you couldn’t help but miss him. This past summer, Ron had been helping his twin brothers, Fred and George, with their joke shop. But ever since the season ended, he’s become more and more busy due to auror training. Of course you’re absolutely proud of him and you want him to follow his dreams, but can’t a woman miss her husband?

Before, you and Ron were having solid sex at least three times a week and at most everyday. He explained to you that he would have to work extra hard and he wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you. You were bummed out about it, but he assured you that it was for your future family.

You told yourself you’d be able to last throughout his training, but it’s only been a week (not even) and you felt like you were going to explode. Everyday that Ron came home, he expressed that he was too tired to do anything after dinner. He felt bad about it, sometimes coming home to you already asleep, but he needed to do this.

So, as long as you would have to, you continued to sulk while Ron was writing to someone important in his office. After a few minutes, Ron still wouldn’t come out of the room, so you decided to take matters into your own hands. You stripped down to nothing but one of Ron’s jumpers and panties.

Before entering the office, you knocked on the door. Ron looked up from his desk and his eyes lit up when he saw you.

“Hi, darling. What’s up?”

You walked over and tried to crawl into his lap. “I just miss you, Ron.” You whined.

He gave you a sympathetic look. Ron obviously missed you too.

Ron kissed the top of your head and pulled your waist closer to his body. “I know, sweetheart, I just need to finish up this letter and i’ll be in bed with you soon, okay?”

You shook your head instantly. “I don’t want you to come to bed to sleep, Ron. I need you.”

Ron’s jaw dropped slightly and for a second he was speechless. It felt like it had been forever since you two experienced any sort of intimacy in bed.

“You need me, huh? Well, why don’t you be a good girl for me and wait patiently in our room?”

You were starting to grow irritated. “Ron, please I can’t take it anymore! Your letter will be here tomorrow, I promise.” You tried to look convincing as possible, but Ron saw right through your facade.

“Sweetheart, don’t be a brat. I’m sorry but i’ll be there soon.” He said sternly.

“But, Ro-”

“Now.”

You scoffed and stood up to push yourself onto his desk. At the same, you knocked over a glass of his coffee and you both watched it spread throughout the wooden desk. Oh fuck, you’re in for it now.

You looked back at Ron and you couldn’t tell if he was pissed or extremely pissed. “[y/n], look at what you did! That letter was important to me and I don’t understand why you have to always be a brat when you don’t get what you want.”

“Daddy, i’m sorry! I really didn’t mean to, I promise I'll be a good girl.” You begged.

He sighed in defeat. “I know you didn’t mean to, bunny, but look at what happened when you decided to disobey me, hm?” He grabbed onto your chin so you could look at him. “Now, I want you to go into our room and wait for me. Naked.”

You obliged his orders and rushed over to the room down the hallway. Quickly, you took off Ron’s jumper and your underwear. You sat on the bed nervously while picking at your fingers, not knowing what to expect from Ron. Once you heard his footsteps, your heart started racing. You were intoxicated with lust that traveled all the way down to your core.

When Ron arrived at the door, you could swear you almost started drooling. His red hair was messy while his shirt was unbuttoned halfway down his body. You looked at him nervously and his expression was unreadable.

“On all fours. I’m not going to ask again.”

You closed your eyes knowing what would happen next. Although you did feel bad for ruining Ron’s papers, you loved riling him up.

All of a sudden, you felt a strong hand push your head into the mattress while your ass was up in the air. “Godric, you look so good like this, baby. But, I have to punish you first. You understand don’t you?”

“Yes, daddy I understand.” You softly replied.

“Don’t worry i’ve decided to go easy on you tonight since I haven’t been spending as much time with you. But, I want you to count up to ten. That’s how long it took for me to fix my letter that you ruined.”

He softly stroked your back and traced his hand to your ass. Ron squeezed it a few times before it quickly came into contact. You whimpered slightly before you started counting.

“O-one!”

Every time Ron’s hand left an increasingly red handprint on your left cheek, you couldn’t help but get turned on. You were in such a vulnerable position obeying his every word.

Once he finished, you were cradled into his arms. He softly pressed kisses to your body, especially the stinging pain on your behind. “You did so well for me, darling. But, i’m not done with you.”

He connected his lips with yours, but this time it was more aggressive. Just a second ago he was so gentle with you while whispering praises in your ear. Now, that has changed and it couldn’t excite you any more than it already had. You turned over to straddle his waist and he yanked your hair back. While pressing open mouthed kisses to your neck, you began to grind onto his hard on. He grounded loudly into your ear.

“Fuck, you’re already so eager, sweetheart. What am I going to do with a little whore like you? Go on then, get off on my thigh.”

With each leg on either side of his thigh, you started to rub your clit on his leg. You let out small whimpers and moans into Ron’s ear. His hand slowly made its way up to your throat and he squeezed it. As you felt the air getting trapped in your lungs, you became more and more wet. Connecting your hand with his, you wrapped his hand around your airway once again.

“You like that, don’t you? My sweet little girl likes to be choked?” He smirked.

You didn’t respond due to the lack of oxygen you were getting, but you replied by moving faster on his thigh. Ron knew you were getting close as he felt your movements become more frantic and he didn’t want you to finish yet.

“Alright, bunny, get off.”

You whined at the loss of contact and he gave you a hard glare. “What did I say about being a brat? Get on your back now.”

He threw you onto the bed and slapped your breast before sucking all around your body. You couldn’t describe how Ron made you feel. He was always a mix of being gentle and rough with you.

“What do you want now, baby? Do you want Daddy to fuck a baby into you?”

“Yes, please Daddy! Just come inside of me, please. You don’t even need to prep me. I fingered myself to the thought of you this morning while you were gone.” You moaned loudly.

Ron’s eyes darkened. “You did? I didn’t know my innocent baby was a whore. Tell me whose cunt is this?”

“Y-yours, Daddy.” you whispered.

Ron then slapped your clit which you whined at the contact. “I can’t fucking hear you.”

“It’s yours! It’s all yours, Daddy. Now, please fuck me.” You begged. Ron was always a sucker for your begging.

“Okay sweetheart, open those legs for me.”

You did as you were told trying to ignore the fact that you were about to combust. Ron softly pepper kissed down onto your body and his hand fluttered over your sex. You couldn’t help but thrust your hips upwards into his hand. Ron wanted to comment about how needy you were being but if he was being honest, he was needy too. You could tell by the way he was not so subtly grinding onto the mattress.

“C’mon Ron.” You tugged at his boxers and successfully removed them from his body. He watched your eyes become hooked to his cock and it made him hard even more. If that was even possible. Your hand came into contact with it and he hissed instantly. Ron grabbed your wrist stopping you from continuing. “Princess, I suggest we finish what you started.”

You nodded shyly at him and turned around to lay on your stomach, but he stopped you. “I want to see your face while I fuck you.” Blood rushed to your cheeks and you moved to lay on your back again. As much as he loved fucking you while your ass was in the air, he also loved seeing you come undone just as much.

The head of his cock slipped through your folds and you sucked in a breath. “You okay?” Ron questioned.

“Yeah, I’m okay, love.” you paused. “Just don’t be gentle with me tonight, please.”

And with that, Ron withdrew his hips and thrusted into you, hard. You whimpered loudly only to earn a hand around your throat. You tried to remain eye contact with him but every time you tried your eyes seemed to roll into the back of your head. He felt your muscles tightening around his cock and he truly couldn’t take it anymore.

Gradually, his hips gained speed, and every thrust hit that spot that made you fall in love with Ron Weasley even more.

“Don’t stop, please. Don’t stop.” You begged.

Your comment made Ron’s hand tighten on your throat. “Since when did you get my permission to be so greedy? Are you the only one that’s allowed to come?”

“No! Want you to come too, Daddy.”

“God that’s right.” Ron groaned and picked up his speed. Looking down, he could see his cock sliding in and out of you. He seemed so big compared to you and it felt like he could break you at any moment. A bulge on your stomach became increasingly prominent as he thrusted into you, each one becoming more sloppy.

“Fuck.” He breathed out. “You look so good under me, sweetheart. Let me come inside of you.”

“Yes, please, I want you to come inside of me.” You were beginning to clench around him. “I want you to get me pregnant with your baby.”

“Beg for it. Only good girls get to cum.”

Fuck, seriously? All you could hear is slapping skin and the sounds of Ron’s cock slipping inside of you. “Fuck. Please, Ron. Just let me cum with you. I want you-” You swallowed. “I want you to fill me up.”

After ten more seconds of Ron’s fingers digging into your hips while he fucked your brains out, his hips snapped forward. Simultaneously, you felt yourself come undone and fall over the edge. You let out a high pitched moan while Ron groaned loudly into your ear.

“Fuck. Fuck. You’re so beautiful when you cum, darling.”

He continued to fuck you slowly and eventually pulled out, but you pulled him back towards you.

“Stay with me. Just for a few minutes.” you murmured.

“You know if I say yes I’ll end up falling asleep.”

“I don’t care. I just want to hold you.”

Ron relaxed on top of you, not believing that you were his.

You were always going to be his girl.

—

hi! if you requested to be added to my taglist just message me. i haven’t posted in a while so i’ve forgotten who asked me. :)

#ron weasley #ron weasley x reader #ron weasley fanfiction #ron weasley smut #ron weasley imagine #ron weasley x reader smut #ron weasley fluff #golden trio era #smut

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isa-ghost · 3 years

Note

How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶

Oookay unpacking this ask time.

Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.

1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)

2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!

I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.

The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.

I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.

HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.

But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.

And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')

I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??

Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jse egos

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minkoobi · 3 years

Text

𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐣𝐣𝐤

⤳ pairing: gryffindor!jungkook x slytherin!reader ⤳ genre: rivals to lovers, fluff, slight angst ⤳ word count: 11.5k ⤳ summary: jeon jungkoook, quidditch rival and former best friend, attempts to rekindle your lost friendship- and maybe something more

The gates slowly rise up and you are met with the sun nearly blinding you. With one quick glance to your teammates, you hop on your broomstick and fly up and above the quidditch pitch. Students from different houses were cheering, waving flags and chanting with all their might.

“Slytherin! Slytherin!”

You soar above them with pride and confidence. Quidditch has always been more than a sport to you. It was your calling- your passion. You were the best player in your team after all, earning you the title of being Slytherin’s team captain. You have led your team to many wins, but also shared your losses, specifically against this one team.

As if on cue, the opposing team makes their entrance, flying around the pitch with smiles on their faces, one which caught your attention almost immediately.

That toothy grin with his nose scrunched up and eyes turned into crescents- they could only be that of Jeon Jungkook’s, Gryffindor’s team captain and best player. Simply put, he was your rival. You both had the position of being a chaser and are both known for being extremely competitive.

“Gryffindor! Gryffindor!”

You can see his smile grow bigger and you almost scowl at how easily his ego was boosted. But if you were being honest, you didn’t hate the guy, just disappointed at how your relationship turned out to be.

First Year

“Up.”

And just like that, your broomstick met your palm in an instant. Pride fills you at how easily you’ve done the task at hand. You were really looking forward to Flying Classes since it’s a step closer to learning quidditch.

To your left, the boy kept summoning his broomstick, having it float for a millisecond before it drops to the ground again. His fringe hung over his eyes but you could still make up his furrowed eyebrows. He groans in dismay and you can’t help but giggle.

“You have to put more force into it.”

The boy looks at you, eyes wide and a little flustered by the fact that you were watching him. You give him a small smile and a nod as if telling him to give it a try. He gulps before focusing on the broomstick and with one stern ’up’, he had it in his hand.

“Thanks!” the nameless boy smiles sheepishly.

“It’s nothing. I’m Y/N by the way,” You reach your hand out to him and he gives it a good shake.

“Jungkook.”

“Don’t zone out now Y/N, you wouldn’t want to lose to me again would you?” Jungkook smirks as he flies over to his side of the pitch. You notice Madam Hooch walking towards the wooden chest at the center of the field. The game’s about to start. You position yourself right across from Jungkook and mirror his smug look. “Wouldn’t dream about it.”

Madam Hooch blows on her whistle and throws the quaffle up into the air. Almost effortlessly, you catch it before darting towards the opposing goal. You see red come up from both your sides and as they near you, you throw the quaffle up into the air before your fellow teammate catches it and shoots it into the ring. A bell is heard and the commentator yells “ Slytherin scores first with 10 points!”

“Beaters, get the bludgers! Leave her to me,” Jungkook yells at his teammates before flying right behind your broomstick’s tail. It takes him no longer than a second until he is beside you and a little too close for your liking. You knew he was taunting you.

“You’re being too predictable nowadays,” his arrogance annoys you and you spare him a quick glance.

“I know how this will work out. You’ll have your little snakes catch the ball and have them hand it to you so you can make your goal.” From the corner of your eye, you see your teammate wave a hand at you. Without saying a word, you dart towards their direction and as he throws the ball towards you, Jungkook cuts in between and grabs the quaffle with one hand. He turns his head to face you. “Like I said, predictable.” He speeds towards your goal post and effortlessly shoots it through the ring.

“Yes! 10 points to Gryffindor!” The crowd goes wild as the scores are now tied. Your anger builds up and your determination to win adds up to your adrenaline. “Keeper, don’t let them score,” you say calmly as you fly up higher to the sky. From there you could see everything clearly. You observe your opposing team and are quick to catch on to their tactic. Turns out Jungkook was just as predictable as you.

You make your way to your teammates, sending them a look before spreading out. The Gryffindor team looked confused, watching you all fly aimlessly around them. As the distraction goes on, you and your closest teammate, Seulgi, fly up to Jungkook and trap him between your broomsticks. He is unable to nudge away from you two and causes him to lose his grip on the quaffle. You take this opportunity to snatch it off his hands and shoot it to their ring. Another bell is heard and Slytherin is leading again. “And I thought I was too predictable,” you mock Jungkook’s tone before flying away.

The game progresses intensely and everyone is on the edge of their seat, clearly intrigued by the feud between you and Jungkook. Points were scored here and there and it wasn’t until the commentator announced Slytherin’s win when you noticed your seeker holding the golden snitch. The students from your house were up on their seats, yelling in victory. We did it. I won against Jeon Jungkook. The thought alone made you so happy, you didn’t notice the latter flew closer to you.

“Good game, Y/N,” Jungkook says without any trace of sarcasm and you send him a small smile before going back to celebrating your team’s win.

Second Year

You practically slam the common room door behind you and rush to Jungkook’s side. “I am so so sorry for taking so long, I just misplaced my book somewhere and-“

“Yeah yeah, apologize later. We’re late for Potions Class!” The two of you make a run for it down the hallway, pushing past other students and earning weird looks from them. Professor Granger will not let this slide and will probably give you both extra work. You could already picture the cold, mean scowl on her face.

“I can’t believe you made me wait for you outside your dormitory. Do you know how many times I’ve been glared at by your fellow snakes? I could’ve sworn one of them was trying to hex me,” Jungkook pants as you both continue to sprint down the corridor.

“Shut it Jeon, this is just payback for when you made me late for Herbology.”

“That was a lame class anyway, you would’ve stayed in the courtyard with me if I didn’t remind you of the time.”

The two of you finally reach your classroom and as you step inside, you were fairly surprised to see that Professor Granger hasn’t arrived yet. “Wow, and I thought we were in trouble,” says Jungkook, clearly relieved. Just then, the door slams behind you. Both of you make a slow dramatic turn to see narrowed eyes looking down at you two.

“You’re late.”

Looking back, you can’t really pin-point where things started to go downhill between you two. You were practically inseparable, never found without the other.

During your first two years in Hogwarts, he was your companion as you were his. You both experienced getting lost in the hallways, going up the wrong flight of stairs (they always switch when you least expect them to), and getting spooked by the house ghosts who randomly pop out of walls. Jungkook was also your partner when it came to learning quidditch, since you two shared the same love for the sport.

But as third year came along, things slowly began to change. Jungkook started to gain the attention of many students and even professors. He became known for his exceptional skills in quidditch and everyone was certain that professional teams were already lined up to scout him. You on the other hand, didn’t receive any less recognition. Students, especially younger girls, looked up to you. Many have assumed that you already have a spot reserved in the Holyhead Harpies team, but you chose to stay away from that spotlight and simply focus on perfecting your skills.

But you can tell Jungkook is doing the exact opposite. You can see it in the way he enjoys having to carry a box of sweets and a dozen letters covered in pink and red hearts back to his dormitory almost everyday after class. It’s obvious in the way his cheeks flush pink when he walks in a room and girls start to gush over him.

Your differences with one another become more apparent, causing both of you to spend less time together, which eventually comes to a halt all together. Keeping in touch with each other was no longer a priority and neither of you tried to change that.

Maybe you both simply grew up, or rather, grew apart.

It’s a sad yet inevitable ending, you’ll admit that. But as you continue to stare at the boy surrounded by his rowdy group of friends in the Great Hall who sat not too far from you, you can’t help but feel a sense of longing.

“Y/N, did you even hear a word I said?”

“Huh? Sorry I didn't catch that,” you switch your attention back to your friends, hoping they didn’t notice you just now.

“It’s that Jungkook guy isn’t it.”

“No it’s not.”

“Oh the hell it is! You were practically gawking at him,” your friend imitates your expression, erupting a fit of laughter around you.

“Whatever Wendy, it’s not like you don’t do the same when it comes to Mark.”

“Hey at least I admit it.”

“What happened to you two anyway? You guys were like, best buds two years ago,” Seulgi remembers meeting up with you two in the library and finding it odd for a Gryffindor and a Slytherin to be so close. Now you’re in your fifth year and your conversations with Jungkook only ever happen when you’re both in the pitch. You weren’t even sure if you could consider them as conversations since all you ever say to each other are insults and sarcastic blows.

“I don’t know, his head grew the size of a hippogriff and suddenly he’s too cool to be my friend,” you shrug as you take a bite off your bagel. Jungkook still holds a special place in your life but you’re never going to admit that. Despite everything that happened between you two, he’ll always be that kid who had a hard time summoning his broomstick.

“What a tragic love story,” Wendy feigns pain, placing a hand over her chest before giggling. “But back to the main topic at hand, you and I still need to find a date.” That’s right, the Celestial Ball was just around the corner and you couldn’t care less about who to go with.

“Can’t I just fly solo? It’s not like anyone wants to take me anyway.”

“Might wanna rethink that statement Y/N,” Seulgi grins as she nods towards Jungkook’s direction. You turn back to see him staring right at you. He doesn’t even break his gaze, as if he was studying every little detail on your face. The intimacy of the situation was too much for you, so you look away.

On any given day, you would love to hang out in the courtyard. The gentle breeze and overall ambiance of the place was just the perfect setting for you to relax and even read a book in. But with the Celestial Ball only two weeks away, it wasn’t that much of a surprise to see the place filled with students and couples asking each other to be their dates. And no, you weren’t some bitter bystander who despised the thought of young love, but there’s a fine line between appropriate display of affection and snogging behind a tree.

You’ve just about had it and was about to give up on having some peaceful alone time when a shadow towers over you. You look up to see a boy with black and gold draping over his shoulders and a grin you could’ve easily mistaken for the sun.

“Hey! How’s my favorite chaser doing?”

Kim Seokmin, 6th year Hufflepuff and head boy. You knew each other from past quidditch games and were fairly acquainted with one another. He was his team’s keeper and with his tall, lean frame, you remember it being almost impossible getting a ball through their ring. Unfortunately, he got severely injured on his left leg from a game during a thunderstorm last year and has stopped playing since then. It’s a shame because he was one of the best players in all of Hogwarts.

“Not any better now that you’re here,” you jokingly respond. Seokmin simply chuckles at this and takes up the space next to yours on the bench.

“Aww c’mon, just because you won against Gryffindor you’re suddenly too good for me? I am hurt Y/N,” Seokmin clutches his chest in exaggerated pain, erupting a giggle from you as you grab the end of his scarf and swat it across his face.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I got you to laugh though,” he wraps an arm around your shoulders and your eyes slightly widen at the unexpected contact. It’s very clear to you now how this guy was placed in Hufflepuff with his tangible enthusiasm radiating off of him. Looking at him now, you couldn’t help but notice how the yellow of his robes match his skin tone and the crinkle of his eyes when he smiles were the perfect embodiment of his House.

“Listen, I actually came up to you cause I have something important to ask,” he spoke in a lower, more serious tone this time.

“What is it?”

“Well.. with the ball coming up and from what I know, you currently don't have a date, i was just wondering if maybe.. you would want to go with me?” Seokmin glances over to your bewildered face, waiting for a response. You were definitely not expecting to be asked out, let alone by a 6th year student you’ve rarely talked to. As you internally debate on an answer, a voice startles you from behind.

“Y/N! I have been looking for you everywhere!” Jungkook sneaks up to you two from behind a pillar, effectively getting Seokmin to remove his arm from you out of shock. The doe eyed boy continues to nudge himself between you two, taking a seat on the already crowded bench.

“I should probably go, but let me know as soon as possible alright? See ya around,” Seokmin sends you a quick wink before jogging back to his group of friends.

“What’s up with you and Donkey Kong?” Jungkook lays across the bench and rests his head on your lap, placing his forearm over his eyes.

“First of all, it’s Seokmin, and second, what makes you think you can use me as your personal pillow?”

“Do you like him?” he asks, completely ignoring your retaliation.

“That’s none of your business Jungkook.”

“You’re dodging the question.”

“Why does it even matter to you?”

“He’s older than you.”

“He’s literally just a year above us and only a few months older than you.”

“Jeez now you’re defending him? Someone’s whipped,” Jungkook lowers his arm to send you a disgusted look, making you shove him off your lap. You’re satisfied to hear a muted thud as he lands on the ground.

“Whoever I like and dislike is not important, so drop it m’kay?” You’ve always hated confrontations since you were never really good at coming to terms with your own feelings. Yes, Seokmin may be a sweet guy, but having Jungkook press an answer out of you was very irritating. You get up to leave immediately when Jungkook grabs your wrist.

“Wait, what’s your next class?”

“I’m done for the day, I’m headed back to my dorm.”

“I’ll walk you back.” Jungkook doesn’t even wait for you to decline his offer as he practically drags you down the corridor. Only when you stop resisting is when Jungkook drops his grip on you.

The walk to your dorm was suffocatingly silent. It wasn’t because you were awkward around him, not at all. You’ve strolled around the castle together in silence multiple times yet this moment felt very new to you. Walking next to him, you notice how much taller he’s grown and how his shoulders have broadened, jawline more prominent and wavy hair just perfectly resting over his eyebrows. It felt like being next to a whole different person. But as he glances at you with those all too familiar eyes of his, you were certain that nothing has changed. That kid you once called your best friend was still in him.

“Dude, I know you hate me but you gotta stop shooting invisible lasers to my head.” There’s a small hop to his steps and you realize just how much you actually miss him.

“I don’t hate you.” You say this mostly to yourself but Jungkook hears it. He holds back the smile that creeps up to his lips, clearing his throat to break the tension between you two.

As much as you enjoyed having him around, your mind starts to go on overdrive. It has literally been years since the two of you hung out like this, so what’s with the sudden change? Losing touch with him was one of the worst things to have ever happened to you and you’re not sure if you ever want to experience that again. All those times of wondering what went wrong and blaming yourself for not being good enough of a friend came flashing back, causing you to stop on your tracks. It takes Jungkook a second to notice that you’ve trailed behind him before he turns to you. “You alright Y/N?”

“Why are you doing this?” Your eyes stay glued to the ground as you fidget on the sleeves of your robes, a habit of yours whenever you were nervous and Jungkook was quick to notice this.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t walked me back to my dorm in 2 years. Why are you doing this?” Jungkook remains silent. The truth is he knew exactly why, but he didn't know what took him so long to do so. Disappointed in his lack of his response, you trudge past him.

“Forget it, I can walk back from here. You can go.” You don’t even spare him a glance as you make your way down the stairs to the dungeon. Jungkook remains frozen in his spot as he watches your figure disappear before him, smacking the side of his head in annoyance. He may be confident and self-assured when it comes to quidditch, but dealing with you was a whole other ball game. He glances to his wristwatch before sprinting down the hallway to his Transfiguration class, which he purposely skipped on to accompany you to your dorm.

You couldn’t sleep that night. It was 2am and you have been tossing and turning in your bed for an hour now, causing a few groans and complaints from your roommates. You knew there was no point in trying to get some sleep so you quickly grab your sweater and broomstick before quietly sneaking out of the common room. After years of learning Mr. Filch’s schedule, you knew he was probably wandering around the Ravenclaw Tower by now.

Sneaking off to the quidditch pitch was something you frequently did whenever you felt troubled and needed a place to clear your mind. Something about being in that enclosed field just puts your mind at ease, whether it be flying around it or sitting on the bleachers. You make your way to the center of the pitch and look up at the towering rings that used to intimidate you. With the stars out in the midnight sky, it takes you back to the first time you and Jungkook snuck out here past curfew hours as curious first year students.

“Woah, they’re so much taller than i thought!” You practically gawk at the sky high goal posts. “Can you imagine flying any higher than that?”

“Please, one day I’m gonna fly soooo far up the sky, I bet you I can grab a star,” Jungkook muses, crossing his arms over his chest in fake arrogance.

“Don’t be ridiculous, that’s impossible,” you shake your head at the absurdity of his words.

“You underestimate my skills Y/N! Mark my words, one day I’m gonna grab all the stars in the sky and give them to you.” The confidence in his voice was so endearing, you unconsciously held onto the promise.

“Learn how to fly better than me first,” you playfully shove him before running across the field, having him chase after you.

Mr. Filch catches you two that night, landing both of you a whole week of detention. You smile at the bittersweet memory as you position yourself on your broomstick. How naive were you back then to assume he’d remain in your life forever. People eventually grow apart, you know this now as you soar above the quidditch pitch and fail to reach for a star.

It’s been a week since you last spoke to Jungkook and you rarely get to see him nowadays. The only times you did were during lunch and dinner in the great hall or in some of your shared classes. He was avoiding you, you knew that much, but you couldn't understand why it left a hole in your chest. This wasn’t anything new to you. Both of you rarely exchanged words with one another ever since you drifted apart, but to see him purposely avoid you bothered you more than you would like to admit.

“Y/N,” Seulgi snaps her fingers across your face to get your attention. You have been zoning out again.

“Hm?”

“Your potion,” You glance down to your cauldron to see its liquids overflowing and spilling on your work desk. You quickly grab the washcloth to clean up your mess, a bit irritated at how you screwed up.

“What’s gotten into you lately? It’s not like you to space out like that,” you can hear the worry in Seulgi’s voice but quickly dismiss her with a wave of your hand.

“It’s nothing, just didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

“I know, I hear you sneak out from time to time,” Seulgi helps you out with your potion, scanning through her textbook to read the ingredients. “You know you can talk to me if anything’s bothering you, right?” Your friends know you well enough to know that you cringe at sentiments, so you can’t help but chuckle at how passive Seulgi was trying to be at comforting you, not even sparing you a glance as she adds ingredients into your cauldron.

“I know.” You’re grateful for your friends. As much as you hated relying on other people for your problems, which was called out to be such a Slytherin trait of yours, it was nice knowing someone had your back. Besides, you weren’t going to let some boy bring your mood down like this. You were better than that. You swore from that day on that you were over the whole Jungkook situation. You were sure of it.

At least you thought you were.

Which was why you were surprised to see him two days later, waiting for you outside your common room.

“Jungkook?” He looks up at the sound of your voice and smiles as he walks up to you and Seulgi. “What are you doing here?”

“Our timetables match today so I thought we could go to class together,” he quickly glances over to Seulgi, slightly dipping his head. “May I borrow your friend for the day?”

“We actually made plans-”

“Right! I, uh, actually have to meet up with Wendy for this thing, we have, going on,” Seulgi sends you a knowing look. “You guys go ahead! I’ll see you at lunch?” she spares you no second to reply, side hugging you before speed walking down the hallway.

“I still find it weird how your dorm is literally next to the dungeons,” Jungkook leans down to whisper to your ear, causing you to jump back a bit. “Like c’mon, Salazar could’ve chosen a homier spot,”

“Why are you doing this?” This time, you were hoping for an actual answer. Cause honestly, you were mad, pissed even at how Jungkook thinks he could just approach you like this- like he hasn’t been avoiding you these past few days. But even as you glare at him, a small part of you is happy to see him. He keeps his calm composure and takes a step closer to you, careful not to break eye contact.

“I wanna do things right this time.”

You ponder at this for a second. “What does that even-”

“But that means you can’t ask questions,” he flashes you that stupid grin of his, before snatching your books from your hands. “Now let’s go! We’re gonna miss our first class!”

You choose not to question him since you were already confused as it is, but you must admit that the small gesture of him carrying your things warmed your heart. Jungkook seemed to be a lot more chatty this time, going on and on about his group of friends and the many shenanigans they’ve been up to. You recognized Yoongi and Jimin since they were in the same house as you and even spoke to the latter one a couple of times since he was your team’s seeker. You pretend to be disinterested in his stories when really you’ve been noting down every single detail in your head, piecing together what makes Jungkook the boy he is today. He’s grown more confident over the years and you can see it in the way he walks with his head held high, in every diction of his words, and how he isn’t afraid to voice out his opinions. It was nothing like the shy little kid who used to tail behind you all the time and had a stutter when he spoke- it was a whole new better version of him.

Jungkooks sits next to you in all your shared classes, pestering you in every way he can but still being careful not to cross the line. Every side comment he whispers earns him a smack or pinch on the arm, but you can’t help but laugh every single time. He kept you company through the dull lectures, casting little charms under your desk for entertainment. You watch as he whispers an incantation to the bird origami he folded just a few minutes ago, seeing it slowly flutter its wings. He picks it up and softly blows it towards your face. Your eyes follow the flying piece of paper in amusement as it floats above your head. How have you not heard of this charm before? The paper bird lands on Jungkook’s outstretched hand and he has this smug look on his face you can’t exactly read.

“What?”

“You're smiling.” He gestures to your lips. “It suits you. You should do that more often.”

It takes you a second to realize that there’s a little ache on your cheeks from grinning, and another second to completely wipe out the expression from your face. “You say that as if I have a permanent bitch face on me.”

He laughs. “Not at all. Let me rephrase that then. You should smile more often around me.”

You roll your eyes to hide the fact that you know that wouldn’t be too hard to do.

This goes on for another week and it’s been nothing but fun. The two of you have gotten more comfortable with each other and unconsciously settled in a routine. Jungkook continues to meet you outside your dorm everyday, dropping you off to your classrooms whenever he can. He eventually got you to agree on having lunch with him at least two times a week, just enough times so that you both can still hang out with your own sets of friends.

Although this doesn’t stop Jungkook from introducing them to you. When he asked you to meet up with him in the Clock Tower Courtyard, he didn’t mention six other boys would be tagging along. Just as you were about to make a run for it, he catches you before you can and obnoxiously yells out your name. Yeah, definitely can’t hide now.

If it weren’t for the obvious excitement in his eyes, you wouldn’t be walking towards the fountain they were gathered in. He introduces them to you and most of them were pretty welcoming (you can’t say the same for Yoongi and Namjoon though). It flattered you how Jungkook wanted to include you in this part of his life. It was something else witnessing it first hand. Seven boys from different Houses? You’d expect a clash of different personalities that will result in endless arguments and disagreements, but instead, they mix together beautifully.

You’re grateful Jungkoook has them. He grew up with the best kinds of people.

Then a thought crosses your mind. You could say he was living an almost perfect life right now. If your fall out with Jungkook led him to these people, to be the confident guy he is today, then maybe it was for the best. Maybe you don’t regret it a single bit.

Maybe you were holding him back this whole time.

Maybe he’s better off without you.

The thought alone leaves a bitter taste on your tongue and effectively changes your whole mood for the rest of the day. Luckily, you didn’t have any plans with Jungkook after classes so you use this time wisely; to mope around. What better way to deal with your whirlwind of mentions than by wallowing in self-pity?

Wendy seems to think otherwise.

“Y/N, you better start making some bloody sense.”

“Enough of this please.”

“Not until you explain to me why you’re acting this way!” A distant shush is heard and Wendy is suddenly reminded that you’re both in the library. She speaks in a quieter tone this time but you can still hear the annoyance through her gritted teeth.

“I just don’t get it. I specifically don't get you.”

“Well I didn’t ask you to meet me here to be understood. I just needed a friend to talk to, but clearly you don’t get that.” You continue to scribble down notes onto your parchment paper and try to block out any more of Wendy’s interrogation. You can tell she’s hurt from what you said but this definitely wasn’t the response you were expecting when you decided on opening up to her. You came to the conclusion that ending whatever it is you have with Jungkook will be beneficial to both of you and you expected Wendy to be on board with this. But apparently she is strongly against it.

“Y/N listen to me,” she snatches the quill from your hand and you knew better than to argue with her. “I’m not gonna pretend I know exactly what’s going on in that stubborn head of yours but you better learn how to come to terms with your feelings immediately or you’re gonna end up hurting someone,” she tosses the quill back to you before standing up to leave, but you don’t miss the last words she murmurs.

“Maybe even yourself.”

You hate it when she reads you like a book and especially hate it when you know she’s right. It doesn’t take a genius to know that you’re growing more attached to Jungkook by the second. Things are slowly going back to the way they were, but for what? A setup for more disappointment? You’ve convinced yourself that Jungkook doesn’t really need you in his life, so why is he trying to get you back in it? You’re afraid you know the answer to that already.

“Want some?” Jungkook’s mouth is stuffed with sweets as he hands you a box of chocolates. You eye it suspiciously. It was neatly decorated with pink sparkly wrappings and a red ribbon around it.

“Not when it looks like it’s tampered with some sort of love potion.” You lean away from it and Jungkook chuckles.

“Nah, I had Namjoon check it for me. We’re on the clear,” he continues to pop more of them between his lips. There’s a paper stuck to the box’s lid and you could easily make up the cursive writings on it.

‘Dear Jungkook

My heart only beats for you. Go to the Ball with me?

xoxo Arabella’

The thought of him receiving love letters and gifts bothered you a lot more than you hoped, which is rather stupid cause you can clearly see why. Jungkook is a very dateable guy after all. Did I just say that?

“Arabella huh? The cute redhead from Gryffindor?”

“I mean I guess she’s cute,” Jungkook continues to talk with a mouthful of chocolates. “A lil’ too quirky for my taste though. And she always stares at me in the common room! It’s very unsettling,” he shudders at the memory but is quick to notice the slight scowl on your face.

“Why? You jealous?” there’s a hint of tease to the way he says it and you scoff.

“Absolutely not.”

He laughs as you both continue to walk to the Great Hall. You weren’t supposed to have lunch together until next week but you found it easy to persuade Jungkook into making this exception. It pains you a bit to see how happy this made him when you were already composing the few sentences that will ultimately break this friendship in your head. This only lasts a second until you convince yourself that this will be much harder for you than it ever will be for him.

“So the Celestial Ball is in two days.”

“Yep, it sure is.”

“You have a date yet?”

“Nope.” You sigh in disinterest. You never thought much into having a date. As long as there’s good food, good music, and the company of your friends, you’re sold. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have someone in mind.

“Really? So you said no to Seokmin?” He seemed genuinely surprised and somewhat.. relieved?

“Not really. I just haven’t gotten the chance to talk to him.”

“So.. you’d say yes?”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake just worry about your own date!” You roll your eyes. “But I’m guessing you’d be going with Arabella?”

Jungkook frowns. “Do you think I should?” The question dangled carefully from his lips with hesitance. You can’t point it out exactly but it's like he was expecting a specific answer from you.

“Why should my opinion matter? It’s not like I’m your best friend or anything.” This comes out harsher than you intended and halts Jungkook in his tracks.

“Where the hell did that from?” He says this like it’s the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. But wasn’t it simply the truth? You try not to let his clear frustration get to you.

“Look, you can stop this whole ‘making amends with your old friend’ thing you’ve been doing. I don’t need a friend out of pity. That was two years ago and I no longer hold a grudge against you. Shit happens. We’ve changed since then. You’ve changed.”

He scoffs. “And that’s all on me, huh?” he takes a step closer until he’s only inches away from your face. “Everything that has ever gone wrong with us is all because of me. Is that what you’re trying to say?” Jungkook has never raised his voice at you until now. For once you were actually scared of him.

“I never said..”

“You changed too Y/N! Yet I never held that against you,” he was practically seething at this point. “I never once blamed your personal choices for getting in between our friendship, cause they were all for you! Even after you started spending less time with me out of nowhere, I just thought of it as you being your independent self. You think I wanted this to happen to us?”

You’re at loss for words. Up until now, neither of you have ever spoken about this. It was sort of a silent agreement to pretend that there wasn’t this looming tension between you two. You should’ve known one of you was bound to slip at some point. No one dares to speak up, both waiting for the other to say something, anything to end this.

“Is that really what you think this is?” His hand gestures between you two. “Is this really just some sort of compensation to you? That I’m doing this out of pity?" Your lack of denial forces him to believe so.

Every muscle in him was aching for you to reassure him that this past week meant just as much to you as it did to him. That he wasn’t clouded by the fake judgment that things were going extremely well. There’s a pleading look in his eyes when a voice interrupts you two.

“Y/N!” Seokmin runs up to you, completely oblivious. “Have you gotten my owl? I've been trying to reach you this whole week but never heard back from you! I was starting to worry.” It amazed you how dense someone could be. Jungkook doesn’t even spare him a glance as he continues to stare you down.

“Guess you never really knew me after all,” and with a twist of his heel, he walks away, discarding the box of chocolates to the nearest bin. What a waste of food.

You knew you should’ve chased after him. Jungkook may be a brat at times but he would never act on things irrationally. If you were to explain everything to him, this just might have ended on a better note.

But neither of that happens as you let him slip away from your life for the second time.

“I’m sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?” You can see the slight guilt in Seokmin’s eyes so you force yourself to smile at him.

“It’s nothing. Oh gosh I haven’t visited the owlery recently, your letters are probably still there! I’m really sorry,” and you genuinely were. But you just found it hard to care at the moment with Jungkook’s words still echoing at the back of your head.

Seokmin chuckles. “Hey, don’t worry about it. No harm done.” He looks at you pointedly. “But you still owe me an answer Y/N.”

You don’t doubt for a second that you would enjoy yourself if you were to go with him to the ball. Seokmin was known for being the light of the party with his funny antics and humor, anyone would be lucky to have him as a date.

You stare at yourself through the mirror, eyeing the emerald green cloth flow just above your ankles. You thought you looked pretty decent. To finish the look, you decide to tie your hair up into a ponytail to keep any loose strands from falling to your face.

Seulgi walks in the room dressed in a red mermaid dress that compliments her figure. She has her hair styled down and makeup done naturally. The ball isn’t for another two hours and she already looks ready to go. Her eyes immediately land on you, specifically on what you’re wearing.

“Um, you do know there’s a formal dress code, right?” She laughs nervously, hoping what she’s seeing is a practical joke. “Y/N please tell me you just got back from practice or something.” She scans the quidditch gear that covers you from top to bottom. This definitely wasn’t the dress you bought together in Diagon Alley before the year started.

“I’m not going Seulgi, I already told you this.”

“Nooo! You can’t ditch me and Wendy like this!”

“Don’t you guys have dates?” You quirk an eyebrow at her. “If anyone’s getting ditched, it'll be me if I attend the ball.”

“It’s not my fault you rejected Seokmin,” She sits on the edge of your bed. “And I promise I’ll ditch Teddy for you if you ever get bored, so can you pretty pretty pleeeease go with us?” She sprawls herself across your bedding and flashes you the saddest puppy dog eyes she could muster. You laugh and throw a pillow to her face.

“Nice try, but still no.”

“God you’re impossible.” Seulgi pushes herself up and walks to your closet. You glance back to the mirror as you tighten the straps of your quidditch gloves. A quick drill around the pitch will probably be enough to get your mind off everything.

After rummaging through your pile of clothes, Seulgi finds the piece of garment she was looking for. She pulls out a black sheath dress and holds it up close to your face.

“When I come back, you better be out of that uniform and in this beautiful dress I oh-so-carefully picked out for you, okay?” She shoves the clothing to your hands, flashing you a grin before darting towards the door. “Five minutes, Y/N! Then I’ll do your hair and makeup.”

You open your mouth to protest when Seulgi slams the dorm behind her. God she could be so pushy sometimes. The dress feels soft against your fingers as you lay it out across your bed to get a good look at it. Its sleeves are off shouldered with a modest slit on the skirt that ends just by the knee. Aside from the little lace patterns around the waistline, the dress is completely plain. It’s the perfect evening gown for you. Seulgi has a good eye for clothes, you must admit that.

It probably wouldn’t hurt to just try it on...

Two hours later, you’re standing near the entrance to the great hall with an overexcited Seulgi clinging onto your arm. Students dressed in suits and gowns slowly start to pack the venue, meeting up with their friends and partners and you unknowingly become more anxious at the thought of bumping into Jungkook.

“Over here!” Seulgi waves a hand to the sea of people and a guy maneuvers around them to get to you.

“Hello,” The boy you recognized as Teddy Lupin smiles, leaning in to hug Seulgi. “I’m glad you can make it!” he adds to you.

“My friend here can be very persuasive.”

Seulgi grins. “Damn right I am. So, shall we?”

The walls of the Great Hall had all been covered in velvety midnight blue textiles with silver sparkles that resemble those of stars, decorating them from top to bottom. The House tables had vanished; instead, there were about a hundred smaller, lantern-lit ones, each seating about a dozen people. Over your heads, thousands of candles were floating mid air and the enchanted ceiling no longer resembled the sky outside. Instead, it was filled with constellations and planets you learned about in Astronomy class. The three of you stare up at them in astonishment when Wendy sneaks up from behind you.

“Pretty cool huh?” she nods her head towards the ceiling. “I persuaded Professor McGonagall into letting the decorating committee change the view for the night. This place just didn’t scream ‘celestial’ to me before that.”

You’re still gazing at the ceiling when you reply. “Woah Wendy, you guys did a really good job with this place.”

“I know, I know, no need to flatter me,” she jokes. “Come on you guys, I still haven’t introduced to you my date!”

Of course Wendy was able to land herself a date and it wasn’t a surprise to you that it was with Mark, the guy she has been crushing on for months now. Their attires even matched in sapphire blue color and you were pleased to see how much they got along.

You didn't want to admit it, but you ended up having a blast that night. Your friends kept you company the whole time, being sure to include you in their conversations with their dates, who you found to be very friendly. You silently thank Seulgi in your head cause if it weren’t for her, you would be missing out on all this fun.

Across the room, you see Seokmin occupying a table with his friends. He took things well when you rejected his date proposal and made sure there weren’t any hard feelings between you two after that. His eyes meet yours and he sends you a smile, gesturing to the empty seat next to him. Turns out he ended up going dateless as well. He mouths the words ‘this could’ve been you’, making you laugh.

You’re glad things are okay between you two, but you wished you could say the same for Jungkook.

Come to think of it, you haven't seen that boy at all tonight.

Where is he anyway?

“Let’s dance!!” You watch your friends pull their partners with them to the end of the hall where a band was performing on stage. Dinner has ended and everyone is now up on their feet and headed to the dance floor. Seulgi gestures for you to join them but you instead wave a hand for them to go ahead.

“I’ll join you guys later! Just gonna go get some fresh air,” you practically yell over the thumping music before walking towards the entrance hall.

You stop just past the ceiling high doors when the music fades into faint beats. As you step away from the crowd of people, you let out a breath you’ve unknowingly been holding in. A cold breeze brushes against your skin, causing you to shiver. If you knew it was going to be chilly you would’ve brought a cloak with you or something.

“Need a jacket?” You’re surprised to see Jungkook’s friend standing next to you, offering you his blazer in his outstretched hand.

You shake your head. “I’m alright, thank you.”

“Y/N right?” He slings his blazer over his shoulders. “I’m sorry I’m really bad with names.”

“That’s me. And you’re Taehyung?”

He nods and shoots you a boxy grin. You both say nothing else after that and stand together in silence for a few minutes, turning to look back at the party every once in a while.

“He was looking for you, you know.”

“Jungkook’s here?”

“Well, was. He left right after dinner.” Taehyung turns to face you when u remain silent.

“He talks about you a lot you know, even way back when I first got acquainted with him.”

“Nothing too bad I hope,” you muster a small laugh to hide how nervous you are.

He shakes his head. “No no, he always gushes about how close you guys were and how you’re the reason he even plays quidditch in the first place.”

You finally face him, eyes wide in shock. “He said that?” Taehyung simply nods.

“Yeah, you clearly meant a great deal to him if any of the stuff he told me was something to go by,” Taehyung turns to face the open doors of the Great Hall and his eyes immediately land on someone.

“You know, out of all the guys I'm probably the one who relates with him the most.”

“Oh yeah? And why is that?”

He shrugs. “Let’s just say I know what it’s like to pine for someone so clueless.”

You cock a questioning brow at him. When he doesn’t acknowledge your reaction, you follow his gaze which lands on a girl with her back facing you two.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Jungkook’s a good guy, and unlike me, he’s not afraid to act on his feelings,” Taehyung smiles at you, bringing a hand up to ruffle your hair. “You guys should talk things out.”

The brotherly gesture warms your heart and you knew he was right. You owe it to Jungkook to explain everything that’s been on your mind- to finally come to terms with your own feelings.

“I don’t even know where he is,” you look down in dismay.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” and with one quick nudge of his elbow, he walks back to the party, glancing back at you after a few steps. “He’s a pretty predictable guy.”

Catching onto his subtle hint, you quickly thank him before sprinting down the corridor.

Being in the stands had a different kind of excitement to it. From where Jungkook was seated, he could see the landscape of the field that somehow seemed larger than usual compared to when he’s up flying around it. He starts to play scenes from old matches in his head, including the very first game he had against you.

You. The thought he had been trying to suppress the whole day.

It certainly didn’t help seeing you in the ball, all dressed up and happy despite the argument you two had only a few days back. He also hated to admit how pleased he was to see you without a date, as if he stood any chance with you to begin with.

“Why does she have to be so stubborn,” he breathes out to himself, chuckling at the situation he’s found himself in.

But he knew he had his faults. He felt that he shouldn’t have been so harsh on you that day. If he were being honest, he didn’t even know how things led to that. It’s as if something snapped in him, like everything he had pent up inside came rushing out. He was better than that. Not once has he ever let his emotions get the best of him like that.

It’s crazy how much you can affect him like this.

“I thought you’d be here.”

For a moment, Jungkook believes he’s hallucinating when he sees you standing a few rows down from where he sat. Only when you cautiously take a seat next to him is when he realizes that this is all very much real. Suddenly hyper aware of your presence, Jungkook sits upright and clears his throat.

“Boring party?”

“Oh not at all. I took advantage of the unlimited meals then dipped.”

Jungkook laughs and you’re convinced it's the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.

“I actually pocketed some of the flavored beans on our table,” he fishes them out from his dress robe and shows them to you. “Want one?”

You can’t help but giggle at the sight of him pulling out colorful beans from his dapper attire, as if it were the most normal thing to do. “Sure, but you know how bad my luck is when it comes to picking out the good flavors.”

“Hmm sucks to be you huh?” Jungkook smirks.

You both pick out a jelly bean from the bunch, clicking them together before popping them into your mouths. You’re pleased to taste cherries coat your tongue and clasp your hands together.

“I didn’t get a vomit flavoured one!”

You look over to Jungkook and see him grimace, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “That was definitely booger…”

You burst into a fit of laughter, throwing your body back and unknowingly lean on Jungkook’s shoulder. He frowns down at you but it contradicts the pink shade that began to taint his cheeks.

The two of you spend the rest of the night laughing and poking fun at each other, which later on settled into small conversations. The winter air makes itself known once more as it blows past you, making you shiver and the goosebumps on your arms rise. Jungkook notices this and quickly takes his coat off, draping them over your shoulders without acknowledging it. He knew you’d refuse the gesture if he did.

Suddenly you felt ashamed. Even after lashing out on him, Jungkook chose to be civil with you and act as if nothing happened. He could’ve easily gotten up and left as soon as he saw you yet here he is, still making you happy without fail.

You’ve decided that you’re done avoiding confrontation.

A moment of silence fills the air as your eyes meet.

“I’m sorry”

You both chorus at the same time. Jungkook chuckles, gesturing for you to continue. “Ladies first.”

Despite the cool weather, your palms clam up out of nerves as you focus on the unsteady beat of your heart. Wiping off the sweat against your skirt, you build up the courage to voice out the next words you’re about to say.

“Up until recently, I never realized how much I blamed you for our ‘falling-out’. I’ve convinced myself that the sole reason you and I were no longer friends was because you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore- or that I wasn’t cool enough to be your friend. Cause, well, I am pretty boring if you ask me,”

There’s a subtle tremble to your voice as you go on and you skillfully mask this with unnecessary arm gestures as you speak. At this very moment, Jungkook has never been more endeared. Maybe he’s always been this smitten, but seeing you ramble on all nervous around him, he can’t seem to fight the smile that sneaks onto his lips.

“but that's where I went wrong. I let my insecurities get the best of me and affect our friendship, relationship, or whatever it is we have going on-”

“You think there’s something going on between us?” Jungkook cuts you off mid babble. There’s a hint of playfulness in his tone and it takes you a second to catch onto his insinuations. You smack his arm.

“I’m being serious!” Your brows knit together in mock annoyance and Jungkook laughs, reaching a hand out to rest it on top of yours. “I’m sorry I’m sorry, please continue.”

You glance at your joined hands on your lap, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your palm. Now that you think about it, Jungkook has always been more physical in his love language and that may be why you guys got along so well. You were never really great with words, much less receiving them, and so was Jungkook. It was always either tight hugs or a shoulder to cry on whenever he would comfort you. But with the way Jungkook’s ears turn red, you can’t help but think that maybe there was more to those innocent touches.

“I had a lot of self-doubts, especially after spending so much time with you these past couple of days. I guess you could say I was intimidated? You just seemed better off with this new life you had without me. I don’t know- I just didn’t see a reason for you to want me back in it.”

Jungkook doesn’t speak but he keeps his eyes trained on you. He has his lips pressed in a thin line, clearly processing everything you just poured out to him. Sometimes you wonder if he knew he had this affect on you, cause most times you don’t even realize it yourself. You never really understood why a part of you would get all flustered over the menial things he did, but you have a pretty good guess lingering at the back of your head.

“You think too much.” This is the only response he gives you before you snatch your hands away from his grasp.

“E-excuse me??” You didn’t really know what to expect for a response, but this certainly wasn’t one of it. Jungkook clicks his tongue as he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, as if the answer was blaring right in front of you.

“Y/N, I never wanted you out of my life in the first place,” he says as a matter of fact. “and I hate how I let it happen. I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but the attention people gave me was so new and to be honest, I enjoyed it,” Jungkook pauses, leaning back with palms resting on either side of him. “You knew how shy I was back then and I wasn’t really confident in myself. Funnily enough, I was also intimidated by you,” he chuckles mostly to himself. “I wanted to be more than this timid kid who stuck by your hip 24/7. I wanted my quidditch skills to be recognized, to show people what I’m made of, and even though I got that in the end, I let you down in the process.”

He was intimidated by you? The Jeon Jungkook felt this way around you? It’s almost laughable how similar your thought process was this entire time. “Well shit, I guess we’re both stupid.”

Jungkook laughs and you watch as his eyes crinkle up. You always found that facial asset of his attractive.

“It also didn’t help how I had this big crush on you. Yes, I was this prepubescent boy trying so hard to impress y-”

“You what?” If you were a cartoon, your eyes would be popping out of its sockets right now. He liked me?

Jungkook finally looks at you with an arched brow. “Wait, you never knew?”

You practically scoff. “I’m not a damn mind reader!” You debate on whether you should ask what’s on your mind before giving in. “But.. had? As in, it’s in the past?”

You regret your question almost immediately when this playful smirk graces Jungkook's lips. It looked as if he was waiting for this exact moment the whole night. He sits up and turns his body to face you so you’re forced to look back at him. Jungkook leans dangerously close that you could smell his cologne from where he sat. “What do you think?” he asks in a lower register.

At this point, you can’t help the annoyance that flashes across your face. Why does he keep beating around the bush? Did he like making you this flustered? It takes a lot out of you to shove him back by the chest with an irritated huff. Literally anyone could get lost in those beautiful eyes of his. “That’s why I asked, genius.”

Jungkook grins as he was sure you weren’t as mad as you made yourself to be. This was the front you always had with everyone but he could see right through you. He admires this tough exterior of yours, but must admit that he enjoys breaking them down even more.

“I have something for you,” Jungkook completely changes the course of the conversation but your curiosity gets the better of you when you see him reaching for something in his pant pockets. Before he pulls the mystery item out, he looks at you. “but you should have your eyes closed.”

Too tired to fight back, you do as he says. “You better not be pulling out your wand to hex me or something.”

He giggles before it goes silent again. A few seconds pass and you think that he might have just up and left you alone in the bleachers. Before you could open your eyes to confirm this, you feel a cold, metallic sphere being placed on your right palm. You look down to see it’s a golden snitch.

“It’s not much but i’ve been wanting to give this to you for a while now. I found it in my room while I was cleaning some stuff out.”

“You stole this from the storage room?”

“Of course not!” Jungkook says defensively. “...Professor McGonagall caught me going through Madam Hooch’s things and let me keep it when I confessed.”

“That’s it?” You try to coax the whole story out, knowing full well Professor is not that forgiving.

“...She also gave me 2 weeks worth of detention.” This gets you to laugh, though you couldn’t help but wonder what’s so important about this golden snitch that he had to go through all that just to retrieve it. As if he’s read your mind, or from the way you were intently studying the ball, he continues. “Do you remember our first match against each other? During our 2nd year?”

You groan inwardly at this. “Yeah, your team won.”

“Because?” Jungkook eggs you on.

You openly glare at him this time, venom lacing into your response. “Because I committed Snitchnip*.”

Jungkook grins triumphantly at your admission. “Still don’t get how you made such mistake.” It amuses him how competitive you could get over such little things, but it was one of your many charms he was drawn into. He reaches out to teasingly pinch your cheek. From this close proximity, he notices the light makeup applied on your face- eyelids covered in a light brown hue and lips a darker shade of red. Not that you needed any to begin with in his opinion, but you looked exceptionally beautiful tonight. Has he mentioned that to you? He thought now wasn’t the right time to bring it up though. “There there, it’s all in the past. And besides, you’ve improved a lot since then.”

“Yeah cause I forced you to practice with me every night after that incident,” you smile at the memory. It didn’t matter at the time that you and Jungkook were from opposing teams that were known to rarely get along. All you knew was that you enjoyed training with him more than anyone, including your own teammates. You convince yourself that it was because he was the most challenging player to go against, but truthfully you just genuinely enjoyed his company. “So, is this the ball that made me lose?”

Jungkook hums in agreement before grabbing the golden snitch from your hand. “You know how these things have flesh memory, right?”

You nod. “That’s how they knew I caught it, by accident,” you emphasize the last two words.

“And which hand did you say caught it?”

You wondered where this was going. “Well I didn’t, but my left one.”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheeks as he loosens his grip on the golden snitch until his palm is laid out flat. The snitch’s wings appear and slowly fly up, hovering just by his eye level. He turns to face you and gestures towards the ball. “I don’t know if it’ll work but, try grabbing it with your left hand.”

Despite the many questions you have, you do as you are told. Jungkook seemed nervous about this that you couldn’t help but anticipate what’s to happen next. Once it’s within your grasp, you look at Jungkook expectantly. This makes him giggle, his hand shyly rubbing the back of his nape. “It’s no star, but I hope it gets the message across.”

You’re about to ask what he meant by that when it suddenly hits you.

“One day I’m gonna grab all the stars in the sky and give them to you.”

You bring the golden snitch up with your left hand and study it once more. With a single swipe of your thumb against its center, enchanted writings start to appear.

“You shine brighter than anyone else,” you murmur the words to yourself.

“Too cheesy?” Jungkook quips nervously in an attempt to lessen the tension he’s built for himself. “I was actually worried the words won’t show up. You know, Seokjin taught me this enchantment just last week! They only appear when the snitch is in contact with it’s first touch. I didn’t think I could pull it off this well but oh thank Merlin it worked. I still feel like I could’ve gone with a better quote, but the guys said this was already good.”

His words have faded into white noise as you continue to stare at the writings engraved on the snitch. You can feel your heart swell up in happiness, excitement, literally every emotion in the book. He put so much thought into this gift and he dares say that it ‘isn’t much’? He could’ve given you a stone with a heart carved on it and you’d still think it was the sweetest thing ever.

You liked him. God, you liked him so much. How are you only realizing this now? Now that’s a lie, you knew you’ve had these feelings for him for a while now and you’ve been denying yourself of this for the longest time. It almost frustrates you how long it took for you to admit this to yourself. At this point, you knew you were openly staring at him with eyes filled with adoration, but he doesn’t seem to notice this as he is still rambling on.

“This also kinda answers the whole past or present question you had for me right? Ugh, I swear I could’ve dealt with this better if I wasn’t such a wuss back then. But hey, I’m here now pouring this all out to you and ready to get my heart stomped on and broken into a million pieces so please be gentle when you completely reject me-”

You shut him up the only way you seem fit at the moment. You press your lips against his and he visibly freezes. It seemed as if he forgot how to breathe, remaining completely still. Your confidence falters at this but just when you are about to pull away, Jungkook’s cups your cheek and kisses you back this time. His touch is feather light against your skin but it creates this huge wave of warmth inside of you- you were literally melting under his touch. His lips were warm and soft but would also slightly quiver as they glided against your own. You felt relieved to know that he was just as nervous as you are as it never crossed your mind that this was all new to him as well.

Jungkook on the other hand was on cloud nine. It was all too good to be true that even as he was kissing you, he found it hard to believe that any of this was really happening. He slowly pulls away from the kiss to look at you, the hand on your cheek moving to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Yep, this is real.

“Does this mean you like me back?” You both laugh at his question, foreheads resting against each other as you continue to look into each other's eyes.

“What do you think?” you imitate him, causing him to chuckle as he pulls you in for a hug. This better not be some wild jinx casted on him because he swears he’s never been this happy. Luck was definitely on his side today.

A roar of cheers echo the walls of the Great Hall. Students are crowded around the Gryffindor table, chanting the house name while waving their scarves and flags. As you push past them, you see the winning team celebrating with Jungkook, his teammates congratulating him with pats on the back and hair ruffles here and there. Amongst the commotion, he spots you as you smile at him and quickly excuses himself from the team. As he runs up to you, the students stand back to make way for him. Having everyone’s eyes on you two made you a bit uneasy, but this was eased off almost immediately when Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground as he spins you around.

“Hey! Put me down, people are staring,” you say through giggles. Jungkook listens and carefully places you back on your feet but still keeps his arms around you.

“Sorry, I was just happy to see my girl cheer for me.” The petname makes you blush and Jungkook flashes that boyish grin of his. He has gotten a lot more cheesier ever since you started exclusively dating, you weren’t sure if you could handle much more.

“You do know this means you’re up against Slytherin for finals next week, right?” you tilt your head to the side and feign cluelessness.

Jungkook is quick to match your taunt. “U-huh, and I don’t plan on losing this time.”

In losing battles, you have to admit to defeat and surrender, just like how you’ve completely given in to Jungkook and let him win you over. But that doesn’t me you’re always going to go easy on him.

“Neither do I,” you retort back with a smirk.

*Snitchnip - a Quidditch foul that occurs when any player other than the Seeker catches or touches the Golden Snitch.

A/N: first story of the hogwarts series is finally up and its starring bestest boi koo! this took me longer than expected and the ending feels kind of rushed but i hope you guys like it! if this story ends up doing well, i might even post a mini jungkook pov :>

#bts hogwarts au #jungkook #fluff #angst #bts au #bts drabble #bts imagine #jungkook au #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #jungkook drabble #fanfic #jjk #jeon jungkook #minkoobi fics

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t0wnspersonb · 4 years

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I Got You (Sugawara Koushi x Reader)

Anonymous said:

Are you taking requests? I was wondering if you could do a smut with sugawara. Like they get a little drunk, and YN sits in Suga’s lap. Then Suga says something like, ”i know we're just friends, so I'm sorry if I get hard.” and then you can finish it however. Thank you so much!

Anonymous said:

Hiiii I justo read tour Tsukishima post! Is just great! Would It be posible to request a scenario with suga and his S/o un which she is a bit "scared" of being intimate with him because her first sexual contacts weren't good. she was sexually harrased when younger and so She is a bit reluctant of intimate Contact or sex being afraid that it just the same she has experienced. Also being afraid if she doesn't do the do with him he Will leave her. And how would he respond to that?

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Word Count: 3,124

Warnings: SMUT, mentions of sexual assault, drinking, alcohol, Suga being a fucking precious bean, my shit writing

Summary: It’s been a couple of years since everyone on the volleyball team have been together, one night during a get together you end up having one too many drinks, resulting in Sugawara taking you home and confessing his feelings to you. But a situation from your past might prevent you from reciprocating those feelings.

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So I decided to incorporate these two requests together, I hope you guys don’t mind! I also apologize in advance if the writing is terrible😭😭😭 also another note for you guys: IF MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ. SAME IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE ABOUT THE DRINKING. I NEVER WANT ANY OF MY READERS TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE SO PLEASE DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS STUFF MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. This blog is all about feeling safe and being welcoming. So please do not read if any of those warnings make you uncomfortable. Thank you all for the love and support and I can’t wait to continue writing:)

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The team reunion was everything that you thought it would be.

Complete chaos.

It had been several years since you all had graduated from Karasuno, naturally you guys had stayed connected with everyone despite the different lives you all lead now.

But it was like it had never changed.

Currently Daichi was yelling at Hinata’s and Kageyama’s rivalry, both deciding to see how many shots they could take.

Team reunions and alcohol definitely didn’t mix.

You sat beside Asahi, watching the madness unfold before you, debating on if you should sneak out now.

“If Tanaka and Noya aren’t careful, Daichi is going to lose his mind on them soon too.” Asahi laughed nervously as he stared at the other chaotic duo causing a scene.

“The youth these days can’t handle their liquor.” you sighed, shaking your head.

“You’re drunk too Y/n.” Sugawara said in amusement, taking in your flushed face and slightly dazed expression. “And what youth? They’re only a year younger than us.”

Well… he got you there. You weren’t super drunk per say, but you were definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol you had consumed.

But in your defense, you were also a light weight.

“Don’t be rude Suga-kun.” you pouted staring at the grey-haired male. “I’ve had a long day.”

“And I haven’t?” he teased. Sugawara was a teacher at Karasuno, and the faculty advisor for the volleyball club.

It suited him; you had thought. Sugawara was always kind and smart, the fact that he had chosen a career where he could display those characteristics was wonderful.

He was wonderful.

Out of the entire team, you had remained the closest to him after you all had gone your separate ways.

That was to be expected though, considering that you two had been close since before high school, childhood friends.

And let’s be honest, you still harbored an enormous crush on him.

“- Shut up you two! You’re disturbing the people around you!”

Daichi was now yelling at Tanaka and Noya, although the people around you consisted of the old volleyball team.

More commotion could be heard from Kageyama and Hinata, and then suddenly you found yourself being pulled onto the lap of Sugawara; a volleyball now resting when you had just been.

You blinked in confusion.

“Oi! You almost hit Y/n-chan! Where did you guys even get that ball!?” Daichi yelled.

“Boke! Hinata! Boke!” Kageyama screamed.

“Maybe you should just sit here for now.” Sugawara murmured next to your ear, his chin resting on the top of your shoulder as he stared at the scene(s) unfolding before you guys.

“... Yeah.” you finally uttered out. “Were they always this bad?” you asked, thinking back to your days as a Karasuno manager.

“Definitely.” Sugawara mused. “But maybe we shouldn’t have met up at a place that serves alcohol.”

“No kidding.” You muttered under your breath, unconsciously shifting in Sugwara’s lap, making yourself more comfortable as you leaned into his strong chest.

You both were oblivious to the eyes of Kiyoko and Asahi. They smirked slightly at the sight before them.

Everyone knew of the crush you guys had on each other. It was obvious. But the fact that you guys had never dated, even after high school, baffled them completely.

Maybe tonight would change that?

You couldn’t help the laughter that began escaping your lips as the chaos increased, Daichi had all but given up lecturing everyone and now sat beside Ennoshita.

You were completely unaware of the way that Sugarawa had stiffened underneath you. The hands that were wrapped around your waist carefully began shifting you, so that you weren’t resting directly on his crotch anymore.

He could feel the slight race of his heart, and - well - the rising in his pants. He prayed that you didn’t notice.

But it was just Sugarawa’s luck.

You could feel the heat in your face rising rapidly, your heart beating just a tad quicker as you felt a growing hardness against the curve of your ass.

“Suga.” you whispered; your mouth felt incredibly dry right now. “Is that -” “I’m sorry Y/n.” he interrupted you. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he said gently, attempting to move you off of his lap.

You shook your head, waving him off. “I-It’s okay. Y-You don’t have to move me… unless you want to.”

Both of you visibly froze at your words. Shit, maybe the liquid courage you had in your system made you too bold.

“Okay.” he murmured, and carefully tugged you closer now. This caused your bottom to slide against his growing member as he attempted to adjust you comfortably on his lap now.

Despite the growing tension and nerves between the two of you, you didn’t move. His arms were wrapped around your waist carefully, his chin returning to your shoulder as you guys continued watching your teammates/friends create havoc in the room.

This felt natural, this felt… right. Being wrapped up in Sugawara’s arms was quite literally heaven on earth for you.

His body heat felt extremely pleasant, despite how overheated you were feeling. The mouthwatering scent of his cologne filled your nose, you could feel his breath against your cheek as it stirred your hair, and the gentle rising and falling of his chest.

“Kiyoko-san! Marry me!” Tanaka cried, reaching for the dark-haired female.

“Kiyoko-san is gonna marry me!” Noya said, shoving at his friend.

This time it was Ennoshita that began yelling at them.

You could feel the rumble of Sugawara’s chest as he laughed quietly behind you. Unconsciously he pressed his face into your neck to muffle the noise. You gasped softly as you felt soft damp lips gently brush against your neck as he attempted to quiet his laughter.

But he had heard the soft noise that escaped your mouth, his grip on you tightening just slightly.

Sugawara couldn’t help but wonder what other noises you could make.

This was definitely going to be a long night.

***

All too soon the night had ended, but you found yourself being accompanied home by Sugawara.

He and the team were slightly worried about getting you home safely, considering that you were still a bit drunk, and lived the furthest away.

But by the time you had gotten home you had sobered up dramatically, now you were just tired.

“Would you like to come in for a bit?” you asked, gazing up at the male.

His eyes searched your face for a moment before nodding.

Sugawara had been over to your home before, but for some reason it felt different. There was that slight thrill that you shouldn’t have invited him in, the air between you two still held that sexual tension.

As you sat in the living room together, sipping on the tea you had made, it got worse.

Should you… confess? Should you say something about earlier?

You were a grown ass woman for Christ sake, and you still couldn’t muster up the courage to tell your childhood friend that you’ve been in love with him since you were kids.

“Y/n.” Sugawara said suddenly, pulling you from your brooding thoughts. He was staring at you seriously, shifting closer to you on the couch.

“Y-Yes.” you answered back nervously, biting your bottom lip as you stared back.

“Can I… can I try something?” He asked softly, gently cupping the side of your face.

Your lips parted at his sweet touch, nodding softly.

And then he was kissing you.

It was gentle and sweet, his lips incredibly warm and soft as they moved carefully against yours.

You melted against him, threading your fingers into his hair as the kiss deepened, the softness melting into something extremely passionate.

You found yourself on your back, Sugawara hovering over your body. You could feel his hands sliding under your shirt, his soft fingers gently trailing upwards on your skin. His touch burned in a pleasant way, it left you breathless and trembling.

A familiar burn began igniting in the lower pit of your stomach.

Until you felt him cup your breast carefully.

An image you thought you had buried in the deepest pit of your memory came to the forefront of your mind, causing your body to break out in a cold sweat, you flinched hard and began shoving at Sugarawa, feeling trapped underneath his body.

You yanked yourself away from him, feeling tears sting at the backs of your eyes as you sat up, carefully wrapping your arms around yourself.

And then you froze, your eyes snapping over to Sugarawa who was staring at you in confusion and worry.

“Y/n -” “I’m sorry!” you interrupted him, biting down the hysteria as you fought back the painful memories that wanted to invade your mind.

“For what?” he asked gently, carefully moving closer to you, he gently placed a hand on your shoulder in comfort. “I shouldn’t have gone that far, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

You shook your head, wiping at the tears in your eyes. “You don’t need to apologize Suga… It wasn’t your fault.”

“I find that hard to believe.” he said quietly, carefully moving the hair over your shoulder. “I shouldn’t have forced it, you should’ve told me no if you didn’t feel the same way.” he said, smiling sadly at you. “I should go.”

Panic overtook your body and you grabbed his hand tightly, preventing him from leaving. “Don’t go!” you cried. “It’s not like that! I... I’ve liked you for a while now Suga. Please don’t go.”

His eyes widened at your sudden confession, and then softened dramatically as he took in your hysterical form.

“Well what’s going on. Talk to me.” he murmured, taking your hand in his. His thumb rubbing soothing circles on the top of your hand.

You could feel your heart racing in fear, if you told him would he leave you? Would he be sickened by you? Knowing that you were broken, tainted.

“Hey.” he lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to look at him. His expression was soft and sweet, understanding. “I’m not going anywhere. Talk to me. Let me take care of you.” he breathed, his thumb gently dragging against the bottom of your lip. “You’ve been in my life since we were kids. I’d like you to be in my life more than that now. So please… just talk to me.”

The sincerity in his voice, in his face, sent warmth throughout your entire being. It sent away the coldness that you felt creeping into your heart.

“My first boyfriend…” you said quietly after a moment of silence. “He wasn’t… he wasn’t always so nice to me. Of course, no one knew.”

Sugawara stayed silent.

“His touch wasn’t like yours. It wasn’t wanted at all. But it happened…” you trailed off, lips trembling slightly at the memories.

Sugawara inhaled sharply at your words, anger piercing into his heart. He remembered that boyfriend, he had almost lost his friendship with you because of that guy. The volleyball team almost lost one of their precious managers because of that guy.

“It was never good… he was so rough and… it always hurt. I -um - I haven’t… been with someone like that since it happened.” you finished, blinking back tears. “But… if it means that you’ll keep liking me… then I don’t mind…” you trailed off.

Sugawara had never been more upset in his entire life. Just the idea of someone touching you without you wanting them to, hurting you intentionally… he couldn’t even fathom it. Couldn’t even begin to sort out the rage that he felt.

But this wasn’t about him. This was about you. This was about making sure that you were taken care of, that your needs were being met.

He carefully tugged you onto his lap, gently cupping your face as he stared at you with such an intensity it left you breathless.

“Darling, don’t you ever, ever, say that.” he breathed out, the anger in his eyes simmering down to something sad and soft. “I would never put you in a situation where you ever had to feel that… that the only way to keep me is by…” he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

He took a shuddering breath in before opening his eyes and continuing. “I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do. All I want from this… is to make you feel loved and happy. I’ve waited years to hear that you like me too. And now that I know you feel the same way… I just want to make you happy.”

He rested his forehead against yours tenderly, your eyes fluttering shut automatically.

“So, we don’t have to do anything that you aren’t ready for yet.” he finished. “But if you do… I can promise you that I will make you feel good… I’ll always make you feel good. Okay?” he asked, his hand gently cupping the back of your neck.

He stared at you with so much love and adoration, it caused your heart to clench tightly, the fear and worry dissolving from your body and replaced with a feeling of warmth and safety.

“Suga.” you whispered softly, “I want… I want to try. Please?”

He nodded before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against your lips. The kiss you two began to share never escalated to something that you couldn’t handle, it remained sweet and tender. An unspoken promise of never-ending gentleness.

Before you knew it, both of your guys’ clothes had found their way to the floor, you had ended up in your bedroom, entangling yourselves on the bed.

“You’re perfect.” Sugawara breathed, his eyes dancing across your naked body. He was rock hard already, but right now his priority was you. It was always going to be you.

“Can I touch you?” he asked sweetly, gazing at your face with a loving expression.

You nodded, swallowing thickly as his fingers began dancing across your skin, to your most intimate area.

Sugawara watched your expression closely as he trailed his fingers over your mound, brushing softly at the top of your slit. He watched as yours fluttered shut in pleasure, his fingers gently running up and down against your soaked entrance.

“You’re so wet for me.” He breathed in awe, carefully pushing a finger in. You gasped at the unfamiliar intrusion, but then began to melt. You were actually starting to feel good.

It didn’t take long until you were trembling and whimpering in pleasure at his gentle touches. Sugawara cooing to you about how beautiful you were and how well you were doing the entire time.

Without any warning you began unraveling beneath him, the tight coil in your stomach snapping, you moaned loudly as the pleasure overtook your body. Leaving you a trembling mess as you came down from your high.

Sugawara couldn’t tear his eyes away. You were fucking beautiful, and the fact that he was able to give you so much pleasure, the fact that he was the first one to ever give that kind of pleasure, well, he had never been more satisfied in his entire life.

“Do you want more?” he asked softly. You nodded in a daze, but that previous fire began igniting once more at the thought of Sugawara giving you more.

“Can we try something?” he asked, his fingers rubbing softly at your hip.

“Okay.” you whispered. He tugged your body in a sitting position before laying down beside you. His member standing up painfully tall, aching for attention, for relief.

But again, this wasn’t about him. This was about you. Which was why he wanted to do it this way. He wanted you to set the pace, wanted you to take control, wanted you to feel in control of this situation.

“Ride me.” He breathed gazing at you with half lidded eyes. “I’m all yours.”

Something deep within your belly twisted pleasantly at his words, and carefully you climbed on top of him, your hands resting on his strong chest as you stabilized yourself.

You could feel his cock brushing against your entrance, causing you to gasp loudly at the feeling. His hands rested lightly on your hips as you settled yourself and then you began sinking down on him and -

Holy Fuck.

The stretch that Sugawara provided left you breathless as you sunk all the down, his cock completely engulfed in your velvety walls.

You sat still as you began to adjust to the size of him, to the new intrusion. Your gaze found Sugawara's face and your tight walls seized up in desperation.

His eyes were closed shut, his mouth parted in deep pleasure as he felt your walls squeeze him deliciously.

You were warm, and you were so fucking wet.

“You… can… ngh… you can move if you want.” Sugawara groaned out, his eyes fluttering open. He could’ve cum at the mere sight of you, sitting on top of him, looking absolutely sinful with how beautiful you were.

You started biting your lower lip as you began to move, gliding your hips up and down and - oh. It’s never… it’s never felt like this before. Pleasure began rippling through you as you slid up and down Sugawara’s cock.

Soft zaps of pleasure shooting up your spine. Sugarawa’s hands were resting on your hips, helping to guide you up and down. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, not with the sounds escaping your lips and your sweet expression that was twisted in pleasure.

“I got you.” he breathed out. “I can feel it… just let go. I got you. Cum for me darling.” you were drastically getting tighter and tighter, your body readying yourself for another orgasm.

So, you did.

The euphoria that erupted within your body had you gasping for breath, your entire lower body locking down, causing Sugawara to release himself deep inside of you.

He moaned your name out loudly, carefully bucking his hips up as he spilled into you.

You collapsed onto his chest, both of you trying to catch your breath. He gently began pushing your hair to the side, his hands rubbing up and down your back. Sugawara pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head as you murmured his name softly against his neck.

“Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. Just sleep.” he cooed.

You could feel your eyes fluttering shut at his warm touch and softly spoken words, you had never been more comfortable, more content, in your entire life until now.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen when you woke up, but one thing that you were sure of, was that you were hopelessly in love with Sugawara.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu smut #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara kōshi #sugawara x you #suga #smut #sugawara smut #one shot #haikyuu oneshot #request #sugawara koshi imagine #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara koshi x reader #reader insert #haikyuu reader insert

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yes-i-am-happyaspie · 3 years

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So. I decided to make my second @identity-reveal-bingo submission a mini-fic. That means that this one is less than 1000 words!

Also, since I don't really write major character d-eath... I may have stretched the 'deathbed confession' prompt just a bit. 😅 so rather than any actual d-eath, you get 991 words of Peter being throughly concussed and extremely dramatic.

Happy Reading!

___

Peter woke up in a hospital with an oxygen tube below his nose and several wires attached to his body. He could hear the rhythmic beeping of the monitors and smell the sickly combination of blood and disinfectant. Then, suddenly aware of the pain radiating from his neck to the front of his skull, he gasped. He reached up to touch the place where the throbbing was the worst but was prevented from doing so. When he looked up, Tony was hovering above him, holding tightly to his wrist.

“Easy, Kiddo. You’re not supposed to be awake. Your head got pretty banged up tonight,” Tony said, moving his grasp to the kid’s hand and then giving it a gentle squeeze. “How do you feel?”

After some thought, Peter withdrew his hand and rubbed his eyes. “Am I dying?” he asked, because his mind was fuzzy and he’d never had a headache quite like the one he was currently experiencing. The pressure was excruciating.

“No, Buddy. Not dying,” Tony replied with a tight smile. The memory of placing the kid’s limp body onto a gurney was still fresh, causing anxiety to creep up his spine. “Dr. Banner worked entirely too hard to stabilize you, for you to die now.”

“Am I dying later?” Peter asked. But then his attention was stolen by the various sounds that were floating around the room. They sounded vaguely ominous, making him shiver. “The beeping is- is beeping. Like in sad movies.”

“That’s your heart-monitor. It’s beeping because you’re not dying,” Tony returned, with a roll of his eyes.

Peter took a few breaths and swallowed hard. “Feels bad, Mr. Stark. Like my head is going to-” he began, but the word he required seemed to be lost somewhere in the mush his brain had become. So he mimicked the sound of an explosion while flailing his hands for emphasis instead. “That kills people. I’m definitely going to die.”

With a deep sigh, Tony ran a hand down his face. “Would you please stop talking about dying? You’re going to give me a panic attack,” he said, dropping tiredly into the chair beside the bed.

“It hurts,” Peter whined while turning his head to the side. As he did so, he had to squint his eyes against the blinding light that was beside him. “And there’s a light. Should I go into the light?”

“Pete. It’s a lamp,” Tony started, cracking a smile as he reached over to turn it off. “See? No heavenly light. You’re fine. You just have one hell of a concussion.”

The room grew quiet as Peter tried to sluggishly process what he’d been told. But by the time he’d sorted through the first part, the rest was fairly muddled. “A confession?” he asked out of confusion that was followed by a wide-eyed realization. “I have a confession!”

“No, not a-” Tony chuckled before curiosity took over. “Wait. You have a confession? As in, you want to confess something?” he asked, arching a brow in interest. And when Peter nodded his head, he encouraged him to continue.

“You’re gonna be mad, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, his lip sticking out in a small pout.

“I won’t be mad, Kid,” Tony promised, despite the fact that he had no idea what the kid was about to admit to.

“Not mad. Disappointed. So disappointed,” Peter tearily mumbled. “But- but since I’m on my deathbed, I think you should know. I want you to know.”

Then, all at once, Tony’s interest morphed into dread. If the kid genuinely believed he was dying, then whatever he was about to confess was going to be a doozy. “Know what, Buddy?” he questioned, preparing himself for the worst.

After biting frettingly at his lip, Peter blinked up at his mentor. “I’m Spider-man,” he whispered.

Tony released a breath but before he could say anything, Peter had already broken into tears.

“-You’re always telling me to stay safe and then I go out and fight bad guys behind your back,” Peter sobbed. “And now I’m dying and- I’m so sorry,”

“Pete. Kiddo. Underoos, I need you to understand. You’re not dying,” Tony firmly asserted and then smiled. “Also. I know you’re Spider-man.”

“You do?” Peter asked. Because he thought he’d done a pretty good job of keeping his identity obscured. “How?”

Abruptly realizing exactly how hard the kid had hit his head, Tony sighed and tapped a finger against his temple. “Genius. Remember?”

“Did you tell Aunt May!” Peter asked with such upset that Tony had to place a hand on his chest to prevent him from bolting upright.

“Tell Aunt May what?” May asked, having walked into the room just in time to hear the outburst.

“That he’s Spider-man” Tony smirked.

Peter looked from his mentor to his aunt and whimpered painfully. “I wanted to tell her. Don’t want to die with secrets,” he mumbled just clearly enough for both adults to hear.

“Sweetie, I already know you’re Spider-man,” May replied, kissing the only part of Peter’s forehead that wasn’t bruised. “But you’re not dying. I promise,”

“Are you sure? I feel very-” Peter said, pausing in an attempt to find his words. “Death-y. Death-like?”

“I’m positive, Sweetie,” May giggled.

“I’ve been trying to tell the dramatic little shit the same thing for the last fifteen minutes,” Tony exclaimed with a frustrated flourish of his hand. “But Bruce is on his way with more drugs. Hopefully stronger ones,” he added, his voice softening as he spoke.

“Yeah. Someone needs a nap,” May whispered, watching as her nephew’s eyes flutter closed only to snap back open again.

“A death-nap,” Peter grumbled, wishing desperately that the throbbing would stop.

Both Tony and May roll their eyes at the theatrics. Then, as if on cue, Bruce walked into the room ready to administer a new round of medication. And from there it didn’t take long for Peter to drift off. Sleeping like the dead.

___

Feel free to send mini-fic prompts! I can't promise that I'll get to it right away but I love having the inspiration! ❤

#happyaspie mini fic #<- check out that tag #tony stark #peter parker #may parker #identityrevealbingo2021 #identity reveal bingo #irondad and spiderson #marvel #mcu #iron man #spider man #injured peter parker #tw head injury #humor #iron dad and spider son #spider-man #marvel fanfiction

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itsthenovelteafactor · 3 years

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Fall of the House of Hargreeves

So I mentioned a while back in my Superhero Gothic meta that there were a number of parallels between the season one finale of The Umbrella Academy and the Edgar Allen Poe short story The Fall of the House of Usher and that I could probably write a whole meta on that if anyone was interested. Shout out and love to the anon who requested that I do that!

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these long form metas, but I am very excited to get back to writing about two of my favorite things: gothic literature and chaotic superheroes.

Part I: The Fall of the House of Usher

The Fall of the House of Usher (which I’ll call House of Usher for convenience for the rest of this meta) is a short story by Edgar Allen Poe first published in 1939. It is considered a classic gothic short story, and deals with themes of family, madness, inheritance, and isolation.

Since it’s in the public domain, I’ll go ahead and link a pdf to the story here. If you aren’t interested in reading, though, or just want a refresher, the story follows an unnamed narrator going to visit his ill friend, a man named Roderick Usher in his isolated (and very spooky) family estate. Upon arrival, he discovers that Roderick’s sister, Madeline Usher, is also ill, and has a tendency to fall into dreamlike trances.

Over the course of the visit, Roderick confesses to the narrator that not only does he believe the house is alive, but that it is connected to the fate of the family which, at this point, only includes Roderick and Madeline. He later comes and tells the narrator that Madeline has died, and enlists his help in order to bury her in the family tomb beneath the house. They do so, but for the next couple of days Roderick is suspiciously...on edge.

Then, one dark and stormy night, Roderick shows up in the narrator’s room incredibly worked up, and throws open the window, and starts low-key (read: high-key) having a breakdown. The narrator is unsure as to why until he hears ripping and tearing sounds coming from somewhere in the house. These ripping and tearing sounds are revealed to be Madeline whom Roderick and the narrator buried alive whose appearance scares Roderick to death, right before she collapses, also dead from the strain of tearing through the foundations of the house.

The narrator decides this would probably be a good time to leave and is very much right about that because as soon as he leaves, the house (which was already in pretty bad shape) splits in two and collapses into the lake surrounding it. The end.

Part II: Umbrella Academy as Gothic

So, there are probably a couple similarities between House of Usher and The Umbrella Academy season one that stand out right off the bat, but I’d like to start by taking a step back to talk about thematic parallels between the two works. If you’d like to read a very long winded explanation of why I consider The Umbrella Academy to be a modern gothic tale, I have a really long meta about it.

If not, here’s a quick overview:

Gothic does not have a clearly defined set of requirements as a genre, but its purpose is to explore the contradictions and the failing edifices of convention in a way that is dramatic and often fantastic.

Gothic fiction plays with reality, but usually in a way that is representative of the characters and story.

It often situates itself during times of great change, as there is something haunting about the irreversible passage of time, particularly for those that struggle to acknowledge it and hide behind conventions that have grown increasingly irrelevant.

Poe is considered one of the classic authors of gothic fiction (though the genre significantly predates him), and is decidedly one of the best well-known examples of it.

The Umbrella Academy is a family drama about former child superheroes dealing with their trauma while trying to prevent an apocalypse that their every move seems to set further in motion. It explores the messy and complicated relationships between siblings who have been abused and pit against each other for years. And yeah, it’s fun with great music and talking gorillas and dance sequences, but the premise is kind of hard for me to read as anything other than gothic.

Part III: Parallels

Like House of Usher, the first season of Umbrella Academy takes place in a massive, largely empty mansion where siblings gather with disastrous consequences. Both works explore a family that is past their prime and disconnected from the present. They also both explore the psychological toll of isolation, the consequences of tyrannical family rules, and why it is a really bad idea to lock your unstable sister in a basement and just leave her there.

Let’s start with some thematics parallels. Everyone in House of Usher is extremely isolated, and the absence of anything resembling the modern world amongst the house full of relics is part of the horror. All of the siblings in Umbrella Academy are defined by their isolation as well, physically (Luther, Five, and Ben), socially (Vanya, Diego, Klaus, and Allison), and emotionally (legit all of them). It is this isolation that drives the conflict of the story, feeding into every characters’ choices.

In both House of Usher and Umbrella Academy, the main characters are trapped in this isolated state as a direct result of their familial legacy. In House of Usher, the titular house is a character itself, a manifestations of the obligations Madeline and Roderick hold as members of an aristocratic family that is so far divorced from wealth and status that it keeps them from ever fully moving on and rejoining the real world. In Umbrella Academy, the characters are similarly trapped by their familial legacy, this time in the form of the specter of their abusive father, and the roles he created for them. Like the Usher siblings, the Hargreeves have no way of maintaining the roles their family left out for them – they were never given the tools to function in the real world and it cripples them – but are trapped in them regardless.

Part IV: The Woman* in White

*As of the time I am writing this, nothing has been said regarding Vanya’s gender identity being written to match Elliot Page’s. I am using she/her pronouns for Vanya, as that is what has been used for the character thus far.

Aside from thematic parallels, however, the most direct connection between the short story and series, and in fact the reason I was inspired to write this meta in the first place is the way both of the stories end: with a sister trapped beneath the house clawing her way out to face her brother(s and sister) and creating a disruption of the family legacy so great that the entire estate crumbles.

Madeline Usher is described at this point as wearing a white dress, strained with the injuries she sustained from physically breaking herself out of the basement tomb her brother buried her alive in. Vanya, of course, becomes at this moment the White Violin, and though she has not yet had the epic violin-music-so-powerful-it-changes-the-color-of-her-clothes scene, the principal still stands.

As characters, there are also a couple of noteworthy parallels between Vanya and Madeline. The narrator at one point describes “the illness of the lady Madeline had lone been beyond the help of her doctors. She seemed to care about nothing” (Poe, 27). The reader never knows what illness precisely is the cause of Madeline’s apparent madness, but we see the effects. It dulls her emotional responses to situations and leaves her withdrawn and powerless. Similarly, we learn over the course of the first season of The Umbrella Academy that the medication Reginald Hargreeves prescribed Vanya for her anxiety is actually a power suppressor for her abilities that has much the same effect – because they are strengthened by extreme emotion, the drugs numb Vanya’s emotional responses and deprive her of the ability to access her powers.

Additionally, the final scene of the story story shows Madeline escaping her tomb during a great storm and going to face her brother who put her there, the storm itself being a metaphor for her anguish that tears the house apart. Vanya’s connection to the destruction of the house is a bit more literal, but it is similarly a manifestation of her anguish and trauma. She sees flashbacks of her siblings being distant and rude to her in their childhoods and the anger she feels rips the foundation apart.

It is not entirely clear in the short story why Roderick buries Madeline alive – there are a lot of theories: he genuinely believed she was dead, he wanted her out of the picture, he himself was succumbing to the madness of the house, etc – but the guilt he feels for doing so manifests as him hearing her scraping her way out for several days preceding her escape. The justification for Vanya’s imprisonment is more clear in text, but the series of flashbacks make it clear that it is not just the imprisonment that has driven her over the edge. It it guilt for her sister, anger at her abusive upbringing that is much more easily directed at her siblings than her father, the newfound emotions experienced by being off her medication for the first time since childhood, Leonard’s manipulations, etc.

In both cases, amidst a spiral of emotions and experiences folding in on themselves, Vanya and Madeline experience a single, cold moment of clarity that drives them to escape, and it is that moment of clarity that breaks the shadow of the family legacy. They observe the situation as it stands and realize that it is completely unacceptable, and it is the realization that leads everything to crumble. Because gothic literature is focused on the complexities of maintaining that which is out of date, the realization that things must change can break the spell.

Part V: Conclusions

As per usual, I have no great theories on why this is or what it means. One of the reasons I love gothic literature is that it is rife with meaning that can be more easily felt than deciphered. I welcome any and all interpretations, theories, (politely worded) disagreements, and comments.

Thanks for taking the time to read; I have a lot of fun doing these. Enjoy spooky season, y’all. 💛

#The Umbrella Academy meta #TUA meta #The Umbrella Academy #TUA #The Fall of the House of Usher #House of Usher #Edgar Allen Poe #back here with the long metas on gothic literature and superhero tv #Vanya Hargreeves #Madeline Usher #happy spooky season y'all

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ilcaeryx · 3 years

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Cascade [Gojo Satoru/Reader]

Summary: Satoru picks you up after a wild night in Tokyo’s party districts. While he’s dying to be more than your close friend, he won’t act until he’s certain you want him, too.

Tags: Gojo Satoru/Reader, Cute, Fluff, Humor, Slight angst, Nightlife, Pining, Pre-relationship

Word Count: Almost 2k

Author’s Note: Feels good to complete something. I listened to The Rose’s cover of ILYSB while writing this.

---

Gojo Satoru’s 1AM drive to one of Tokyo’s nightlife district was strictly for serious business. While he would fit into the crowd of youthful people enjoying the neon stinging their eyes and body contact with at least four strangers at all times, he had zero intentions on partying. Indeed, his sole mission was to retrieve a package – that package being you.

Lulled into rumination by the car engines constant humming, Satoru pondered about your occupation of his mind. Even though his days were busy, he would associate the concept of you with quite literally anything. Bickering with the higher ups? He could envision himself cranking up the drama as he told you the story, smiling smugly inwards at you cooking him comfort food to soothe ‘his stressful day’. Whenever something hilarious or crazy happened, he would automatically think ‘I’ll tell Y/N this later’. One would expect it would annoy him but it was not the case; Satoru was entertained by his daily fantasies, very much enthralled by the walking-on-clouds-feeling his body would produce during his mental escapades. If one Y/N thought equalled one endorphin molecule, he was experiencing a cascade.

His first thought after awakening every morning was your face between his palms, his fingers frigid against your temples. If things between you two ever developed, one day your face would be his first experience that day, every day for the rest of his life. Right now, Satoru would pin your relationship as close friends. As much as he would overinterpret your behaviour towards him, he was quite certain you were not interested in discovering whatever else could unfold between the two of you. Not yet, his positive inner self protested. Maybe never, his negative inner self retorted.

Despite his conflicting emotions, he gathered himself up into a presentable version of himself while he walked to the nightclub your friend had mentioned. Your safety was his number one priority right now, regardless if you were into him romantically or not.

~~~

“Text me when you’re home!” you yelled over the pulsating music, bidding your friend farewell by blowing her a kiss. In a dramatic motion, she caught the invisible kiss in her palm and clutched it against her chest.

“I will! Stay safe, bitch!” she screeched back before submerging into the human current outside the club, her cursed energy swashing to and fro like a solar flare.

Even though his evening had been a cozy movie-night in his bedroom, Satoru’s limbs felt heavy from looking at you. With your shoulders drooping and hands massaging your left thigh, you were finally punished from dancing non-stop all evening. Indeed, your hair clung to your forehead, neck and upper arms, intermingling with the shining perspiration on your skin. Nevertheless, you seemed to relish in whatever banger was playing inside as you were gently swaying side to side.

“I know what you’re thinking,” you said, pre-emptively shushing him with your index finger in the air. “But I’ll take a shower once I’m home.”

“I was actually thinking that I should’ve brought a towel, considering that your sweat’ll soak the car seat,” he said and tucked some slick strands away from your face. Your mortified look cracked him up. “It’s fine, I’ll lend you my jacket.”

“Your expensive-ass jacket? Thanks, I’d rather freeze to death.”

He rolled back his shoulders as he slid his jacked halfway down his back, hands still in his pockets. A little disappointment tinged his tongue. “Are you sure? I warmed it up just for you.”

“Yeah, stop stripping and let’s get the hell out of here.” You smacked his back with an open hand, pushing him onwards. “God, I can’t wait until we get home. I’m so tired. Are we going to your place?”

Let’s not read into anything, Satoru thought. ‘Anything’ meant both your off-hand comment about his place and the fact that your hand remained steady on his back even after you two joined the crowd. Physical closeness wasn’t anything new between you but the context provided another layer of complexity to read into. Suddenly, being the completely sober adult in charge seemed like too heavy a responsibility for him...

Without meaning to, his back tensed up. “No, you weirdo. You can sleep off the alcohol in your own bed.”

You either weren’t bothered by his tenseness or you didn’t notice, as you shifted your hand around his waist. You carefully leaned against his arm. “Sounds boring. Don’t you want to talk all night?”

Like always, your presence burned his arm, enough that he was unable to feel the strangers he bumped into on his other side. This was a sign, right? Or were you flirting as a friend? In the past, he had people confess their ‘love’ for him and apparently they thought his teasing and touching meant he fancied them. Being extremely lovable wasn’t easy, especially not when any platonic affection could be re-constructed as romantic by the other part. You, too, were extremely lovable and affectionate… Had he been in your shoes, this proximity wouldn’t have had any romantic subtext. But unlike him, you had a good personality… This could be the night you two finally spoke about whatever was between you two.

Or the night where you lose a friend because of your stupidity, his negativity brought up.

It had a point. Yeah, you were a good person and a terrific friend – he’d be an idiot if he lost you. Compared to his co-workers and allies, you were awfully soft; he liked how you doted on him, even when he was a pain in the ass. If you rejected him now, your dynamic wouldn’t be the same and his life would be much harder for it.

“We can talk later today,” he said, his arm automatically shooting out to stop an accidental elbow-right-into-your-chest-accident. He settled his arm around your shoulder after giving the guy the evil guy through his glasses. Watch your limbs, man.!

“That was close,” you said, sighing. “Thank you, Satoru! I’m sorry about having to call you out this late, by the way. Did I wake up you?”

He both cursed and rejoiced on the inside now that you changed subject. “Couldn’t be helped that your friend had an emergency. Next time, try to wake me up later for an early breakfast instead.”

“Next time, you’re coming with us.”

His lips faltered slightly, smile not feeling as genuine. He adjusted the collar on his jacket to hide it. “To the nightclub?”

Your index finger jabbed into his side accusingly. “Anywhere! Last time we hung out was… uh…”

This was the first time in a few weeks you two had spoken in person by yourselves. As you both mostly met together with your friends, you tended to invite him whenever the gang planned something. He admitted to himself that he often declined because he only wanted your company, but you never offered to join him instead. Whenever he invited you out, you’d be perfectly alright with hanging out just the two of you, though.

“Two weeks ago?” He squinted into the lights of an incoming car. “It’s because of work but-“

“I’m not a hikikomori, you bastard – I’ve got a job too, but I’ll make time for you, you know?”

You’d make time for anyone, Satoru thought, somewhat discouraged.

The crowd thinned out as you entered the parking lot, though the place was jam-packed with cars. Both of you remained quiet as you passed by couples on the way to Satoru’s car. When you detached yourself from his side, he rustled your hair. You stood on your tippy-toes to return the favour, messing up his hair worse than he did yours. He liked seeing you struggle to reach his head, so he didn’t mind.

“I missed you, scarecrow,” you said, pinching his cheek. He elongated his smile to feel one knuckle touch his lips. “What is the gremlin and scarecrow duo without the scarecrow?”

~~~

Slumped against the window, you were peaceful the entire ride home. Every so often, Satoru would catch a glimpse of your sleepy face and his heart would clam up. He made the right decision in picking you up, even though he aged weeks in those twenty minutes you two had spoken. Your interactions followed a pattern: he’d look forward to meeting you, creating fantasies and expectations of what could be; when you were with him, he would attempt not to ruin your current friendship to the point where he’d feel sick; and whenever you two parted, he’d overindulge in his memories. In two days, he’d be prepared to undergo this rollercoaster once again.

He drove into your street and called your name.

You immediately woke up and looked outside. “What time is it?”

“Almost 2AM…” he exhaled deeply, hands falling into his lap. He still had to drive home, so he’d be in bed in 30 minutes.

“Everything hurts,” you said, bending forward to readjust your high heels. “My legs are killing me… I won’t be able to walk tomorrow. I’m not sure I can walk now.”

He understood what the lilting tone at the end of your sentence meant and with great effort he stepped out of the car. Your giddiness as he opened the car-door on your side was intoxicating, as was the feeling of seeing you stretch your arms towards his neck. He cradled one arm below your thighs and one behind your back.

“Watch your head,” you chided softly into his ear, covering the top of his head as he carried you out of the car.

“Gimme keys.” Satoru leaned slightly backwards to account for your weight as you handed him the key to your apartment. With your bare arms against his neck, he would be surprised if you didn’t notice how his pulse rose.

Your apartment door opened and he stepped into darkness, shutting it behind his back.

“Excuse me,” he mumbled, heading for your bedroom with his shoes on. Your teeny apartment had a teeny bedroom with a single sized bed.

“Say, Satoru,” you said, your cheek pressed below his ear, “are you sure you don’t want to stay and talk?”

“Just go to sleep, Y/N.” Satoru leaned over your bed to carefully lay you down. Your grip on his neck loosened and he thought you’d comply until you kissed his neck, his soul almost as soft as your lips.

“What about now?” you asked and released your arms, falling onto your bed. Your hair spilled around you, a gloria around your tired face. “I’ll let you sleep in my bed, if you want to.”

Honestly, he wanted this. Everything he’d thought of earlier this night could become true if he gave in, which was insane enough to send his head swimming. He’d endure this cramped bed for you, even with his feet being colder than hell and his back aching from sleeping on his side. Gojo Satoru was more than ready.

However, he did not want this to backfire. What if you were simply too horny, lonely, exhausted or intoxicated to consider the consequences right now?

You rolled towards the wall, leaning on your side. Your eyelids fluttered weakly, your exhaustion almost overtaking your body and yet you found enough strength to pat the empty space beside you. “See, there’s space. I’ll always leave space for you.”

Ah, fuck it.

Satoru’s personality was bad; his attitude was self-indulgent; his morality was concrete grey; and his discipline when it came to you near non-existent. If you awoke tomorrow and found that you had fallen asleep with the love of your life – then great, you were both on the same page. If he had completely misunderstood your intentions, he would absolutely bullshit his way out of trouble, like he always did. Whatever, everything’d be alright someday.

---

If you enjoyed this, give me a like/follow/reblog/comment/scream into the void. I hope everyone had a good New Year and let’s hope that 2021 is kind.

Started this 22/11/2020, finished 10/01/2021.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk #gojo satoru x reader #jjk reader inserts

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

Note

please could you make taehyung jealous for the next perfectly wrong drabbles? 👉👈

perfectly wrong | drabble [3]: if it’s one thing taehyung truly has a love-hate relationship with, it’s the fact that you have such a sweet, kind and warm demeanor towards everything and everyone.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: pretty fluffy, implied sexual content, cussing, tae is petty but also pouty

notes: feel free to send requests like this to my inbox and i will get to them! it may not be right away but i promise i’ll take a look. it can be for anyone in the perfectly wrong series. same thing goes for off the grid. however, please note that there are certain things i won’t write about - extreme mental/physical/verbal abuse (we’re all about fun, lighthearted pettiness here and nothing serious), threesomes, orgies, any extreme, intense smut because i’m still not used to writing smut like that. basically anything that you might be uncomfortable with or wouldn’t do in real life, i most likely will feel uncomfortable too and will not write about it! pls keep that in mind, thank you! love you all tons! 💗

Taehyung will not hesitate to let people know that he's your man and your man only. You thought he might have learned from the entire Jungkook situation, in which in a sense he has; he no longer acts weird about how close you and Jungkook are, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get jealous outside of that bubble.

He was the campus fuckboy, after all. He knows the capabilities of the boys here. He knows the intentions of the majority. He's familiar with the stupid little games boys play. If anything, he helped play a role in the stupidity of many boys on campus. He was a champion, the walking fuckboy 101 bible - they wanted to be Taehyung and they did everything to follow his ways.

So, when he's ordering coffee and sees a guy trying to lay his sweetness on you, getting all googly-eyed and licking his lips like you're his last meal on Earth, he doesn't like it one bit because he knows that look. He's been there before, especially with you. It doesn't help that you're super approachable, welcoming anything and anyone into your arms like you're some kind of saint.

The anonymous dude [Taehyung can't tell from afar] apparently cracks a joke, because you're entertaining it and playfully shoving him aside. You're beaming from ear to ear, tears almost streaming down from whatever joke he's telling you.

You hadn't laughed like that with him in awhile, nor has he seen you smile so big like that. Obviously, it's the jealousy talking. You loved Taehyung more than anything, and he was the only one who could make you feel the way that you do.

"The fuck?" He mumbles to himself.

"Here's your coffee, Tae." The barista says softly behind the counter, her gaze going between him and the scene. He can't keep his eyes off of this interaction, praying to the heavenly being above that the boy will get the hint and leave before Taehyung can get there. But he doesn't. He continues to crack jokes or whatever the hell he's doing to make you laugh the way that you're laughing. You rest your chin on your palm as you look at the dude in front of you, head tilted, looking all cute and shit and you don't even know it. Tae's eyes widen when he sees you place a hand on his shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze.

"T-thanks, could you actually just toss it in a to go cup, please? I think we're gonna head out instead." He dug his hands in his pockets as he keeps watch, the barista silently doing as asked. Taehyung quickly grabs the coffee and heads out to where you're seated, the dude still all up on his woman like he had been waiting for the right opportunity to pounce on her ass all day.

"Wow, are you serious? Christian that's hilarious, I'm sorry. Maybe you should have gone for that installment instead. Either way, I think it'll look amazing. It'll look so good when you finish it." He hears you reassuring ol' dude. You look up to see Taehyung slowly approaching, his forehead furrowed like some kind of angry, old man waiting for kids to get off of his porch. Curls all defined and fluffy, he didn't look intimidating to you one bit - but Christian squirms in his seat, finally catching the hint that Taehyung was not happy about him sitting that close to you with his arm brushing up against yours. Taehyung's eyes were piercing right through him, colored lenses intensifying the look.

"S-sorry, I was about to—"

"No, please stay. Let's all gather around and talk about each other's day." Taehyung sarcastically scrunches his nose and does a shimmy to show that he's actually not fucking playing right now and Christian better know what's good for him.

"I was just asking her for some advice on art class." He stands to nervously dust himself off. Now, if it's one thing you know too well, it's how petty Taehyung gets when he's jealous. You quietly sit there, a little hot and bothered with how Taehyung is acting, but you also want to laugh at how people really find Taehyung so intimidating. If you all only knew how much of a baby bear he was behind closed doors.

"Cute. You do know the fucking art room is two steps behind you, right? You know, where the professor usually is at." He steps forward, jaw slightly clenching.

"Look man, I really didn't mean any harm." Taehyung nods. "I was just about to leave."

"Don't forget to pick up your googly eyes from the floor." Taehyung shoots him a finger gun and clicks his teeth. "Wouldn't wanna misplace those for the next time you try and use them on my girlfriend again." Christian leaves without saying anything else, causing you to snort.

"What was that about?" You chuckle.

"Let's go." He sternly says, handing you the cup of coffee.

"I thought we were gonna sit and drink this here?"

"Or we can just sit and drink this at home." You hurriedly get up to follow him as he starts walking towards the car.

"Are you really that upset?"

"Are you really that upset?" He mocks your tone as he continues to walk to the car.

"Real mature, Kim Taehyung." He looks over his shoulder to glance at you with those eyes before looking back at the car. He silently opens the door for you, avoiding all contact. You silently giggle to yourself because even though he could get annoyingly petty like this, he still found ways to be a gentleman and cater to you. You watch as he plops into the driver's seat, sipping his coffee as he stares out at the campus. "Tae, what are we doing?"

"You wanted to sit and drink this here, right?"

"You're annoying." You roll your eyes and sit back. Was he really doing this right now? Taking your ass to the car to enjoy your coffee, away from people?

"Says the one who was all it'll look so good when you finish it. Ouuuu, either way it'll look amazing." He mocks your tone. "If anything, you're the annoying one, acting all cute when you know these dudes have it out for you. Since when do you shower people with compliments like that? I thought I was the only one."

"No, they don't, Christian is just a good friend from class and I was just trying to help give him some solid advice."

"Oh, so he's a good friend now?" He raises his eyebrow. "Jungkookie is a good friend. Hoseok is a good friend. Yoongi is a good friend." He counts on his hand, showing you the three fingers he has up. "Where's Christian at? I don't see him on that list. Christian is not a good friend." He puts his hand out as if he's waiting for your response. "Wooooow, it's quiet, no back talk, ey?" You put his hand down. Did I tell you he was also a comedian at best?

"Babe, stop." You pout, but he shakes his head. "Why are you acting so jealous right now?"

"Cause! The way you were all smiley and laughing with him. Praising him. Playfully pushing him and shit. You barely do that with me."

"You have got to be kidding. I've done that with you time and time again, I barely spend time with anyone else but you. You always make me laugh and you always make me smile, much more than anyone else."

"A-and you were like squeezing his shoulder so sweetly. You had this soft touch when it came to him even though he was looking at you like he was thinking some foul shit. You just— You just give it so easily."

"Baby." You chuckle. "Okay, that's just way too far."

"I know it all too well. I know a boy's brain like the back of my hand. So yeah, we're enjoying this coffee in here whether you like it or not." He furrows his eyebrows. You give him a moment to calm down before you reach over and caress his cheek. He welcomes your touch and you can instantly feel him relaxing as you continue to touch him gently.

"You're too cute."

"No." He pouts.

"Taehyung, you know I love you. And you know you're the only one who can make me feel all sorts of ways - one being happy and incredibly giddy from your lame jokes."

"They're not lame."

"They're lame." You joke as you scrunch your nose. "But that's what makes them unique to you. I wouldn't have it any other way. And on top of that, you know I can never stop smiling around you no matter the circumstance. Like now." You smile at him because honestly, he was being too fucking cute and you wanted nothing but to cuddle him at home. He had such a jealous side to him that little things ticked him off, but you knew he cared and just wanted you to himself. You couldn't help but feel the same, hence the girl at the mall being all flirty with him.

"Honestly, you're gonna be the death of me." He looks at you, his cheek falling deeper into your touch while you giggle. "Seriously, it's not funny. You had me experiencing heart palpitations when you touched him like that, it's not a joke."

"Relax." You chuckle. "You're dramatic."

"You wanna talk dramatic?" He looks at you. "She got all flirty with you when she walked off and you didn't even say anything!"

"Okay, I get it!"

"Mhm." He wiggles an eyebrow. He begins to start the car and pull off, the ride pretty silent. You knew he just needed a moment to get over himself, so as soon as you step into your apartment, you put your things aside and throw your arms around him.

"Babe." You plant kisses all over his face.

"Mmm, no—" He says in between kisses. "You— don't— get to do that—- and expect to— win me over— just like that."

"Uh huh. Yet, you're still kissing back." You say, pushing him towards your room. All you had planned was just to cradle your big baby and cuddle him until he felt better. You've learned that's how Taehyung gets over most things. Truly.

"Y/N, I'm not joking." He lays on his side after tossing his keys and phone on your night stand. He throws his hood over his head, while you throw yourself onto him, being the bigger spoon.

"Hey." You forcefully turn him around to make him face you. He does nothing look at you, allowing you to place a soft, passionate kiss on his plump lips. He gives into it, deepening it while tugging you closer to him. "You know I only have eyes for this handsome guy right here, right?" You boop the mole on his nose.

"Good, cause I want you all to myself. Stop being such a fucking saint. Be mean for once. I know you can do it, since you always catch an attitude with me." You laugh.

"Whatever, Taehyung. If that makes you feel better."

"Good." He smirks. "Come here. I'm trying to show you that you're mine and only mine." He wraps his arms around you and snuggles tightly against your body until you hear him softly snoring into your chest.

#bts #bts fanfiction #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #kth x reader #writing #perfectly wrong #perfectly wrong drabbles #kth series #taehyung fluff #bts fluff #kim taehyung fluff #kth fluff

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magicaththedemigod · 3 years

Text

an extensive analysis of “the song of achilles” by madeline miller

Or: things I noticed and couldn't keep to myself.

Because I just finished reading it and have many feelings about it, I've decided to compile all of them into a very lengthy Tumblr post.

This will be broken up into three parts:

1. Foreshadowing

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

3. Fatal Flaws

1. Foreshadowing

Miller does such a delightful job with foreshadowing. The number of quotes I could be spitting at you right now... but I digress. The main job of foreshadowing, especially in a tragedy like "The Song of Achilles," is to set the characters up for their tragedy.

What I like most about how Miller goes about it in this book is that she doesn't attempt to pull a shocking twist out of nowhere; instead, she takes an approach which allows the reader to fully marinate in their despair.

For example, this quote:

Achilles shook his head, impatiently. "But this was a greater punishment for her. It was not fair of them." "There is no law that gods must be fair, Achilles," Chiron said. "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?"

Let's take a moment and unpack some of this. For context, this is a conversation between Patroclus, Achilles, and their mentor Chiron. They're discussing the tale of Heracles, who's driven to madness and ends up killing his own wife and kids.

From reading the book, (SPOILER ALERT) you know that Achilles' own pride and honor end up forcing Patroclus to impersonate him in order to save the Greek army, and in doing so is killed by Hector. The fact that Chiron directs this question, "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?" to Achilles, who is left behind after Patroclus' death is such delightful foreshadowing that I almost threw the book across the room when I first read it.

Achilles slumps into such a depression after Patroclus dies (really, after he kills Patroclus with his own fatal flaw), that he even loses the ability to care about his fame or honor anymore. He feels the greater grief, so to speak.

Even after he dies, Patroclus is left behind, unable to rest properly because they never put his name on the tomb. In that sense, Patroclus is then the one left behind, experiencing loneliness and grief.

The book is full of little hints like this, and that's part of why it's almost torture to read as someone who knows how the Iliad goes. As I said before: the foreshadowing in this book is meant to have the reader in pain from the beginning because you know nothing is going to work out in the end.

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

Yes, that's right. I'm about to rip into your soul.

Probably one of the biggest parts of classical Greek myths is dramatic irony (the audience knowing something the characters don't). In plays, the ending is almost always announced before the play begins. In fact, the audience most likely already knows the story from previous tellings or just general knowledge. It makes sense that it would be one of the biggest players in "The Song of Achilles."

As usual, let's start with a quote:

His eyes opened. "Name one hero who was happy." I considered. Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus' back. "You can't." He was sitting up now, leaning forward. "I can't." "I know. They never let you be famous and happy." He lifted an eyebrow. "I'll tell you a secret." "Tell me." I loved it when he was like this. "I'm going to be the first." He took my palm and held it to his. "Swear it." "Why me?" "Because you're the reason. Swear it." "I swear it," I said, lost in the high color of his cheeks, the flame in his eyes. "I swear it," he echoed. We sat like that a moment, hands touching. He grinned. "I feel like I could eat the world raw."

First of all: cute. Second of all: wow, so much pain.

As you know, Achilles is the opposite of happy at the end of the book (well, maybe after they die, but we'll get to that later). Though he swears it here with Patroclus, the two of them make decisions that ultimately lead to their downfall: Achilles decides to abandon the Greeks after they slighted his honor, Patroclus decides to help them even if it means risking his life, and Achilles lets him do it.

So let's talk about dramatic irony. The irony here is that you know, maybe just from this exchange alone, that Achilles isn't going to be the first happy hero. You know there is a war coming, know that Achilles and his famous heel will get himself killed. You might also know at this point that Patroclus will die first and send Achilles spiraling into grief before that happens.

It's painful, truly. Achilles spends his last days in utter agony, wanting to die but unable to kill himself, and Patroclus can only watch on as a ghost (spirit?). Even when Achilles does die and his ashes are put into their urn (seriously, how did any scholar ever think they weren't lovers?), they still have to wait to be reunited.

But there's still more. Consider these lines:

Hector's eyes are wide, but he will run no longer. He says, "Grant me this. Give my body to my family, when you have killed me." Achilles makes a sound like choking. "There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

Sound familiar? That's right: "I will kill you and eat you raw" sounds an awful lot like "I feel like I could eat the world raw," doesn't it? Another parallel from Miller: one from a time of happiness, the other from a time of extreme grief. However painful it is, I really live for connections like that.

And I've got one more for you:

Achilles shook his head. "Never. He is brave and strong, but that is all. He would break against Hector like water on a rock. So. It is me, or no one." "You will not do it." I tried not to let it sound like begging. "No." He was quiet a moment. "But I can see it. That's the strange thing. Like in a dream. I can see myself throwing the spear, see him fall. I walk up to the body and stand over it." Dread rose in my chest. I took a breath, forced it away. "And then what?" "That's the strangest of all. I look down at his blood and know my death is coming. But in the dream I do not mind. What I feel, most of all, is relief." "Do you think it can be prophecy?" The questions seemed to make him self-conscious. He shook his head. "No. I think it is nothing at all. A daydream." I forced my voice to match his in lightness. "I'm sure you're right. After all, Hector hasn't done anything to you."

See where I'm going with this? I don't think I need to explain this one.

3. Fatal Flaws

That's right, one of the most essential pieces for a tragedy: hamartia. For those who might not know, hamartia is the fatal flaw that ultimately leads to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroine. In every single piece of classical greek writing, if the story is a tragedy, the main character will have a fatal flaw that makes it so.

Take Achilles:

I looked at the stone of his face, and despaired. “If you love me-”

“No!” His face was stiff with tension. “I cannot! If I yield, Agamemnon can dishonor me whenever he wishes. The kings will not respect me, nor the men!” He was breathless, as though he had run far. “Do you think I wish them all to die? But I cannot. I cannot! I will not let them take this from me!”

You probably already know what his fatal flaw is: pride. He needs the fame, needs the glorious memory of his deeds to live on forever, so badly that he is willing to sacrifice his life and what might’ve been a fulfilling and long life with Patroclus out of the limelight. His fatal flaw is what spurs each of his actions in the later half of the book, including the moment where he decides to leave the Greeks to their deaths for slandering him.

Even Patroclus has a fatal flaw: his love for Achilles.

That night I lay in bed beside Achilles. His face is innocent, sleep-smoothed and sweetly boyish. I love to see it. This is his truest self, earnest and guileless, full of mischief but without malice. He is lost in Agamemnon and Odysseus’ wily double meanings, their lies and games of power. They have confounded him, tied him to a stake and baited him. I stroke the soft skin of his forehead. I would untie him if I could. If he would let me.

Though riding into the center of the fighting, especially dressed as Achilles, will make Patroclus the prime target, he decides to do it anyway. And not out of fear for Achilles’s life; he knows how important his pride and reputation is to him, and out of desperation will do anything to keep Achilles from being devastated when it doesn’t work out for him.

(Honestly, this is the part where I start to hate Achilles for doing this to Patroclus... it’s like he doesn’t even consider Patroclus his equal and does everything without consulting him.)

Of course, Agamemnon has a fatal flaw as well. He is like the mirror image of Achilles, so proud and stubborn, righteous and arrogant. However, he is the darker image, the one that revels in taking things by force and, of course, raping women like Briseis. He serves as a poignant foil for Achilles, highlighting all the ways the traits they share can easily become corrupted. It’s part of why this novel works so well.

I hope you all enjoyed this book as much as I did. Truthfully, I did have a few problems with it, but I wanted to trying picking it apart anyway. And if you haven’t read the song of achilles... what are you doing reading these spoilers??

#why can you visibly see where i get tired #achilles #greek myth aesthetic #analysis #patroclus #song of achilles #greece #greek posts #not the language though #this is so long #effort #first time ive ever wanted to write an essay #dark academia #dark acadamia aesthetic #this took me three days #greek mythology #iliad #homer

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thedevildomdaily · 3 years

Text

Demonic Possessions Ch 9: Love Advice & Interior Design

Note: Here’s the Master List for the full story. I recommend reading my stuff on my actual Blog if you enjoy OM! official music! Thank you so much for the support. Please let me hear from you in the comment section. I wanna talk OM!

I decided to make this chapter with more light banter and fun interactions and give the nephilim brothers some attention.

Warnings: Swearing, NSFW implied, light stuff this time ********************************

A couple weeks had passed. Construction on the attic was nearly complete. Lucifer and Azriel had negotiated a schedule in which the nephilim brothers would work on the attic bedroom for their sister. This helped avoid chaotic mornings, at least where the nephilim were concerned.

The overall mood of The House of Lamentation had shifted from the unease of having a new occupant amongst the Brothers and Lilly, to an odd sense of which the brothers had never experienced before. A shift in their dynamic as a family twisted due to a certain blossoming relationship.

Leviathan had become more outgoing and less reluctant in participating in events. He was more welcoming of everyone hanging around his room as well and his mood was less-likely to sour thanks to Lena. His brothers were happy for him, but it was an unusual experience for them as well. It was hard to ever find the two of them apart from each other.

“Thank you for doing my nails Asmo!” Lena chimed, “Your skills are amazing!”

Asmo grinned with brimming confidence, “Of course they are Leee-na. I’m an absolute master with nail art.”

“He’s also the best hair stylist.” Lilly chimed.

Asmodeus’s room had transformed into a spa for the two female residents and himself. The human was laying on his bed with a face mask and cucumbers over her eyes as her toe nails dried. Her hair was in a towel and she was completely relaxed as she sipped on her mimosa.

The nephilim had a peel on her face as she sat in a lavish chair while the demon painted a cute black cat on her accent nail. She too had her fill of mimosas as they relaxed from a week of cramming for a chapter test in alchemy. The math involved was exhausting, but she’d probably do well enough.

“Your brother is almost as bad as my old man when it comes to studying. I’m doing my best to be civil about it, but it’s getting on my nerves…”

Asmo gave a dramatic sigh, “If you think he’s bad now, wait until midterms. It’s a boot camp nightmare.” He then exchanged looks with Lilly as she peeked at them from her cucumber. He was underselling Lucifer’s regime.

“You know….” Asmo began with a sly voice, “I’m surprised Levi isn’t in here to get his nails painted…” Lena knew he was just baiting her at the mention of his brother. He wanted to open a dialogue to gossip about their relationship.

Shrugging, “I offered an invitation but Levi’s nails are still great from the last time you painted them. He’s also really engaged in a super hard game. The last time I saw him, Beel and Belphie were watching him battle a boss. It was getting intense in there…” It was also extremely cute, she thought.

“I’m just saying, given the fact that he’s the Avatar of Envy, I figured Levi to be a little more possessive and be following you around a lot more.” his younger brother admitted.

“Not gonna lie…” Lilly added, “I kinda anticipated that myself.” The brothers were all very possessive and it was easy to picture any one of them being like that. Well, Lucifer excluded. He was too damn cocky to believe anyone would stray from him ever.

Lena thought about it for a moment, ‘Well, I took your collective advice and talked directly with him when we went on that first date. I laid it all out for him: I’m not being held down to any single relationship. And in a kinder manner, that I basically don’t want to deal with jealousy. I’ve given up on monogamy….” he chuckled for a moment, “He actually compared me to you Asmo, and then asked if I wanted to start a reverse harem...and ya know what, I kinda like that idea haha!”

The other two blinked for a moment and joined in the laughter. “Pffft, that’s definitely a Levi-type of conclusion…” Lilly chuckled. She peeled the cucumbers off and ate them as she sat up. “It looks like you guys reached an amicable agreement then?”

The nephilim looked upward, clearly thinking about it for a moment. “We have. He agreed to an open relationship and to not be overly clingy with me. It’s beneficial to the both of u-”

“BOTH!?” Asmodeus interrupted, “Please explain!!?! Has my big, nerdy brother been hiding some secret affairs over these past few centuries?!” Why would it benefit the both of them, when only one of them has even been in multiple relationships?

“Oh, it’s quite simple really,” Lena chuckled, “His 2D waifus. I won’t ever complain about them or come between him and his fandom and I can have relationships with others as well. Besides, we’re immortal beings...forever is a realistic timeframe for us...why cling to each until we both become miserable? Monogamy hasn’t ever worked for any immortals I know...what about you?” Of course she was asking Asmo as he finished her last nail.

The demon shook his head as he released her hand and got his DDD ready to take pictures of his work for the gram. “Not that I’ve ever paid attention to it, I really can’t think of anyone...even angels drift apart and take loooooong breaks.”

“Well that’s a bit depressing….” Lilly mumbled.

“Oh, Lilly dear...don’t get depressed about it. It’s the beauty of humanity. You guys are far more capable of having a one, true love...not that you have to stick to it. It’s a valid option though.” She didn’t mean to depress the human. In her very long life, Lena had been in 100+ year relationships with various long-lived beings and it never seemed to work out. She was now trying this open relationship thing so that she didn’t feel tied-down or tired. She didn’t want anyone she was with to feel that way either.

“It’s all good. I was teasing for the most part.” Lilly smiled, “There’s only so many ways a person can spice things up and keep their relationship fresh; I’m sure an immortal couple could really struggle after a few centuries. It’s that case in my favorite vampire novel series anyways…”

Asmo didn’t comment on the matter. He couldn’t relate since he was loved by all and could charm anyone he wanted. He never for a moment considered a relationship because he could never love anyone more than himself.

“So, since you’ve found a way for things to work, have you guys……?” He smirked at the nephilim.

“ASMO!” Lily shouted. He merely chuckled.

“It’s none of your business…” Lena responded.

“That would be a solid ‘No’ then.” He quibbed. Lilly exchanged a look with him and nodded.

“Y’all are both horrible! It’s hard given he’s so reclusive and nervous. But also very cute….NO! I’m not talking with you guys about this, especially you Asmo. I’m not giving you any ammo to blackmail Levi…” She paused for a moment and contemplated, “I know he’s shy. But I also….”

“Also what?” Lilly blinked.

“I don’t know how to approach him. I’ve never been with a demon. Are you guys...very different for other beings?”

“Oh, you wanna see? Hmmmm?” Asmo teased. Or was he?

“Stop it!” Lilly smacked his shoulder lightly.

“Lena. You’re gonna have to make the first moves on Levi. Good news is there won’t be much effort you’d have to put into seducing him. It’s just finding the opportune moment when you’re feeling it.”

The girls both stared at Asmodeus for a moment.

“What? Is there something on my gorgeous face?” He immediately felt his pale, rosey cheeks.

“No, you’re just being surprisingly perceptive and giving profound advice on the matter.” Lilly said, “Lena should definitely wait until she feels right before taking the move. Like you said girl, you’ve got eternity. Take your time. Levi is a great guy and I know he’d never pressure you...”

Lena smiled and looked-up while thinking about him. “Yeah, he’s great. Special. I have so much fun with him. It’s nice to have someone interested in the same nerdy stuff as I am and not being picked-on about it 24/7.” Her last relationship went down like that. “When he blushes simply by me taking his hand, or how shocked he gets when I sneak behind him and wrap my arms around his waist...oooh... He’s too cute!!!!”

The nephilim squealed and shut her eyes hard thinking about her Levi-kun and the other two just laughed at her. Her responses to his cuteness just didn’t match her aesthetic at all and they found it hilarious to watch.

"Oh.." Lilly chimed in again, "They're 'normal' I guess."

Lena and Asmo blinked at the human for a moment.

"You asked if they were, ya know, compatible. I've had the horror of accidentally entering the men's bath when we went on a trip to a demonic hotspring before...I wanted to shove hot pokers in my eyes..." Lilly cringed.

"Oh, that's right! Lilly got to see me in all of my glory...jealous?" Asmo grinned.

The trio laughed and picked on each other all afternoon.

****************************

“Okay, we need a few more pieces of paneling. I want some nice filigree border work.” Azriel said to himself out loud as he took a step back to look at the progress made on his sister’s room.

Zak stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, as he watched his brother pace across the room. “Hey bro. It’s looking good. You really outdid yourself this time.” His siblings were super artsy, creative types. He couldn’t keep up with them on that. Instead, the middle sibling put any creativity into vehicle design and engineering. “Let’s take a break and go to Hell’s Kitchen for lunch. Then when we get back, you can spot anything else we need to do….”

“You do have a point. Let’s eat and come back with a new perspective…”

**************************

The nephilim brothers went for lunch, meeting up with Beelzabub and Belphegor. The twins were in the back corner, where the owner often put them so they weren’t a distraction for the other customers.

Belphegor had his arms folded on the table, propping his head up as he watched Beel chow down on ten burgers.

“Hey guys, can we join you?” Zak asked when he approached the demons.

“Sh--rr” Beel nodded as he wadded another large bite of food. Zak could have sworn the demon’s jaw had unhinged to take such a huge bite.

Azriel took a seat next to Beel. The two of them were the same height, though Azriel was much thinner, with more of a swimmer’s body then a body-builder’s. Zak sat by a groggy Belphie. They too, were the same height but different build. Zak liked to work out when he wasn’t working on a new engine.

“You guys about to finish remodeling?” Belphie asked with a yawn at the end, “I’m curious what you’ve done to my old...space.” Was it a bedroom or a prison? He didn’t know quite how to label the attic Lucifer kept him in.

Azri gave a pleasant smile, “Yes. It’s all coming along smoothly. Lena will be thrilled with it. It’s a touch of old european with her beloved gothic asethetic. She might not like the light-colored flooring, but it makes the space look bigger…” he went off into deep thought for a moment. Then, he saw some green in the corner of his eye and smiled, “excuse me for a moment…”

“Sorry, I swear Azri has ADHD or something...don’t mind him. ‘Creative Genius’ at work 24/7” Zak chuckled and looked at the menu.

“S’okay.” Belphie nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. “Sounds like you’ve had a lot of things to do. It’s nice putting in that effort for your little sibling.”

The twins and Zaksalamel chatted and ate their lunch, nearly forgetting that the elder nephilim had even came to Hell’s Kitchen. When he finally returned, there was an empty plate left at his spot.

“You shouldn’t have ordered and left when sitting by Beel…” Belphegor responded after seeing the shocked expression on Azri’s face. “Your food didn’t stand a chance...and apparently the napkin…”

“S-sorry….” Beel scratched the back of his head.

After a moment of silence, Azriel sighed, “it’s okay. That one was definitely on me….”

Zak noticed his brother’s cheeks get a little rosy. His mind was elsewhere clearly. What was he up to. “Hey, Devildom to Azriel...where’d you disappear to?”

“Oh, forgive my rudeness..again.” He suddenly returned to the conversation. “I just happened to see someone I know and asked for their opinion about the flooring choice…”

“Mmmh-hmmm…” Zak’s eyes narrowed at his brother, knowing there was something else to it. Azriel’s voice tone was suspicious. He’d leave it alone for now.

“So, anyways, I made the right decision, and I think we will be finished with everything in 2 days.” Azri clapped his hands together, chipper with the apparent results of the consultation he’d just had. “Beel, if you’d like to make it up to me for eating my highly-anticipated lunch, could you help carry furniture upstairs? You must be very careful…Lena is going to flip out when she sees it!”

As the four of them returned to the House of Lamentation together, Beel and Belphie walked some space behind the nephilim.

“They sure seem to care a lot about their sister to spend so much time on this room. I don’t think it was that bad..” Belphegor said quietly.

‘True. But, we’d do the same thing for our sister too. And that means Lilly as well…” Beelzebub nodded.

Agreeing, Belphegor let out a small sigh. He wasn’t sure about his own opinion of Lena so far. They didn’t start off on the best of terms. No, he’d admit that he behaved like a brat that day. But he never had the opportunity to get to know her or to apologize for his overreaction. Maybe he’d help with the furniture too?

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redrabbitspod · 4 years

Note

This is in no way meant to be rude or disrespectful and I am fully aware that you can do whatever you please but I feel like Neil is getting so out of character. He clearly started to develop more of an own personality but he definitely has been through so much and he is just so..cheery and happy and clingy all the time(which if you’re like that is in no way wrong or bad) and now he reminds me so much of Nicky in AFTG. It’s really hard for me to still see Neil.

OOC: This is very long, and while we think everything leading up to it is super important to our thought process (and yes this is something we’ve thought about) the bit in bold is the heart of the point we try to make. (Please read the whole thing though!)

Hey, I’m actually really happy that you sent this in because I’ve been wanting to talk about it. I know that there’s a post going around that we both wholeheartedly agree with about Neil reaching far past ooc and becoming very ‘fem’. Jeni and I had a really long talk about this because we were worried that our Neil would be perceived or mistaken to fit in that trope. And while I think your concern is EXTREMELY valid (note: people can write the characters however they want. It’s fanfiction, they can do as they please, like you said, we just did not want to go that direction), I have a few points as to why I disagree.

On surface I definitely get that. Idk if you’ve read the entirety of RRP, but I know for those of you that just read the asks (Im sure there are a lot), it DEFINITELY seems that way. But we went into RRP right off the bat letting people know that these characters will fundamentally be different. In Andrew’s case, we know he’s extremely soft now and we bring that up a LOT in the fic. Both himself acknowledging it and all the other characters around him. But we went in knowing he was going to be very different from canon - mainly because we took out the plotline that he was ever put on meds. In Wish You Were Here, the story we are writing post-season 2, we will be mentioning that and how we twisted it. Because in canon, that shaped his entire character. The medication changed the physiology of his brain and we hated the fact that something so abhorrent was forced upon him by the courts that we didn’t do it. And as a result, Andrew’s character is completely different because he’s able to tap into emotions that were blocked in canon. He’s able to grow in ways that he was not able to before and besides the fact that this is set a good while after college and especially his sophomore year that we saw in canon, he was going to change. We definitely know that them admitting that they love each other, making strides in their relationship both physical and mental, opening up, expressing, for his character may seem extremely ooc for some, but we had to take into account what would’ve happened if we took the thing that shaped his character in canon away. I hope we’ve done him justice.

Now onto Neil. Neil we work over a LOT. And when Jeni brought this up to me because of the post, there were glaring things in my mind that automatically said no. This doesnt apply to our Neil even though to some it may seem that way. Here’s what we’ve done at least very consciously to make sure that our Neil holds integrity to his canon character, that he holds merit and a backbone to back up how he’s grown throughout our series.

From day one, we knew that they knew each other. We knew that an event from the past not only shaped how Andrew approaches life, but how Neil does as well. Childish sentiment and nostalgia kept Neil in Arizona for so long, which we imply throughout season 1 and start the ball rolling in the first chapter. For the both of them, they held onto the boy they met at the Grand Canyon through everything they’d been through. When shit got tough, it was each other they thought of. And on some wild whim, Neil hoped one day Andrew would walk through the Book Nook’s doors and he’d see him again. Not because Neil had a crush, because he didn’t. But because Andrew was the embodiment of strength for him.

New York was really important to us. Neil standing his ground and letting Andrew know exactly what he’d done to him, was what the entirety of Season 1 and EVEN season 2 culminated and came back to. Neil being able to say no, fuck you asshole, and always express exactly how he was feeling, was so vitally important to us. ESPECIALLY when it came to Andrew. Those few weeks of New York we wanted to build a bridge if you will. Andrew’s intentions were always genuine and well-meaning and Neil knew that, but survival instincts and what’s been ingrained in him stuck. They started to have a little give when he came to realize that he felt something for the man before him. But he never lost that fight for himself. That HE has to ALSO be okay. And I think we see a lot in that trope of Neil that he loses the fight, the backbone, the integrity that makes his canon character so compelling (even if he is a martyr).

One thing we worried people would misinterpret was how fast we pushed their characters together. We definitely get that. In our world we didnt really have the luxury of really stretching it out like some may have, just because we were working with real-time. And honestly? As we wrote, the drive to push them together because they were so connected and intertwined just fell genuinely and organically. For us, it only made sense and not because of canon, but because of the story we’d written already. It made sense to us for Andrew to be the one to hold himself back and Neil be the one reaching out - Neil be the one exploring and beginning to recognize what want and really, agency over himself AND his wants, was. Neil was the one to ask for their first kiss here, Neil was the one to initiate them all afterwards, Neil was the one that asked Andrew to touch him, Neil was the one that asked what they were in Arizona, Neil was the one to bring up sex. And in return, Andrew was peeling away layers of himself, feeling accepted, and wanted, and understood in ways he’d never been before. And honestly? Feeling honored that they were both experiencing emotions in ways that they both never felt before. We see their relationship has an equal give and take, a push and pull. And I’m saying all of this because it’s honestly and truly really important for why we’ve made Neil’s character the way that he is.

Going into season 2, we knew that happiness could not last long. They both had things to sort out, they both had hurdles to hop over, bridges to cross, whole fucking oceans to swim. Before season 2 started, before we had anything written or really even solidly planned, we knew they had to break up. Jeni even had the scene written back in either july or august. We knew that in order to continue trying to give integrity to their characters and relationship, how far they’d grown but also that growth is not a linear path, we needed to break them up. And in the lead up to that, we made sure that Neil was not only looking out for Andrew or trying to, but that he was looking out for HIMSELF. Unlike in canon, he didnt automatically have the foxes - not in his head at least. Of course he knew he had a home there, he knew that he had friends, but they weren’t like canon because he didnt grow WITH them like he did in canon. In his mind, he really only had Andrew and if there was no Andrew, why stay? And when their fight happened we made sure that Neil had value enough in himself, care for himself, love for himself AND for Andrew that they couldn’t let this go on any longer. Neil left because he knew he deserved better. He knew Andrew needed help and he couldn’t provide it. And he held onto that. In fact, Andrew even held onto it himself:

“Is there no hope, then?” Andrew asked, unable to help himself.

Neil sighed and Andrew was grateful that he at least didn’t pretend that he didn’t know what Andrew meant.

“I don’t know, Dr- Andrew.” Was it possible for his chest to hurt even more? He wanted to curl in on himself, but settled instead for clenching the sharp corners of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket into the palm of his hand. He watched as Neil bit the inside of his lip and that little indent appeared. Maybe he feels it, too . “Part of me wants to say fuck it all and let’s just go home. I hate this... But I hate what you’ve been putting me through these last couple of weeks even more. I can’t do that again,” he stopped talking once more and inhaled a shuddering breath. “You broke my heart, Andrew. I know I sound dramatic and stupid, but I don’t know how else to say it and - I don’t know how to do this, for fucks sake.” He finally turned to him, but the eye contact was brief and before it was even there, it was gone. “I came into this knowing nothing about relationships and I know even less about breakups. I don’t know how to navigate this.”

“You think I do?” Andrew asked. He didn’t mean for it to sound so bitter, but there it was.

“I don’t know with you,” Neil shrugged. “I feel like you keep everything so close to your chest, that there are whole sections of you I’m missing. And listen, I don’t blame you. You should be able to choose what you want to share. But I can’t help that it makes things hard when you’re falling apart and I don’t know why...”

Andrew let go of the box and put both of his hands in his lap. Grinding his teeth together, he heard the beginning hum of Bee’s buzz , but took a deep breath to try and keep her at bay. Clearing his throat, he looked back to the stadium and that stupid orange fox paw, before he murmured, “What if I offer you a piece?” - suddenly and quickly said, it was as if his mouth was trying to outrun his mind, despite the second he took to contain it. He’d known this would eventually come - that he would have to do this. And besides, Neil deserved an explanation, even if they never got back together.

“Andrew-”

“I’m not offering with hopes that we’ll get back together right now, Neil. I’m working through shit the best I can. Therapy is helping, but I know it’s a process. I just know you deserve an explanation. And I haven’t wanted to tell you because it’s fucking horrific, but I was also afraid that it would send me even further down the spiral if I talked about it. Now that I have a space to vent through, I don’t think I’m so afraid of the fall.”

This part was so important to us for both Andrew and Neil’s character. And in the entire build up to the break up and directly after, Neil held onto the fact that they needed to talk. He kept bringing it up. Because he knew that if they didn’t it would escalate just like it did before.

“I wouldn’t risk being with you again if I didn’t think things would be different. I’m not better and to be honest? I probably wont ever be better. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with my shit by myself because that’s just how it was. I’ve avoided relationships because I never trusted anyone with my baggage and I didn’t think it’d be fair to pile it on someone anyway. So when it comes to talking about shit - I’m not used to that. Bee was the only person I’d ever told everything to, and she doesn’t even know all of it.”

“I know that,” Neil said, leaning forward as if to show Andrew how much he actually understood. If that was the case, Andrew believed him. “I know you, Andrew. I would never force you to talk about something you don’t want to. That’s not what I’m trying to do. But , I need you to work with me, and if not me, someone else. Don’t take it out on me when you’re going through shit that neither of us can control. It’s not fair and it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong and I can’t fix it.”

Now. Now we’re up to your points. I promise all of this was important for me to explain, because I know there’s literally SO MUCH that we’ve written, that shit happening now can get in the way of everything that’s happened before to lead up to this.

We fully recognize that Neil is definitely happy. But he’s not happy-go-lucky and we tried really hard to make sure he didn’t lose his integrity - his backbone - the things that made Neil, Neil.

Something I realized throughout this series was that I was getting worried that the focus of season 2 was so heavily on Andrew. I was seriously worried about that. But then I realized that Season 1 was focused solely on Neil. Season 1, Neil was a fucking wreck. It was Matt AND Andrew comforting him, Matt and Andrew bringing him down, Matt and Andrew trying to protect him, take care of him, find him, search for him, all of that. But even through Neil’s horrific anxiety and all the bad shit that happened, it was still Neil that pushed himself up from the ground, pulled Lola back, and gave Andrew the in. It was Neil that fought with the doctors and nurses to see Andrew and make sure he was okay. Even still afterward though, it was Neil discovering and Neil understanding and a lot of Neil, Neil, Neil.

Season 2 is heavily focused on Andrew. We’ve already seen Neil’s story and his growth. Its Andrew’s turn to try and again, build his bridge to getting better. But with that, it was Neil that made the strides to speak and handle Ichirou, it was Neil that figured out things with his uncle, it was Neil that ultimately had the gun, brought Andrew for practice - took it out and demanded Andrew get behind him this time. It was Neil that looked Andrew in the eyes as the cops patted them down and desperately tried to tether them together. It was Neil that kept reassuring Andrew they were going home. It was Neil that snapped the moment the cop tried to put his hands on Andrew to show them where their things were when they left the prescient, and ANDREW that allowed himself to be pulled into Neil’s arms in that moment, because he knew that he was the one thing that was SAFE. It was Neil that held Andrew that night and Andrew that LET himself be held as he broke down.

That was one chapter ago. And we really tried to illustrate at the end that they have a life ahead of them now. They have a future - a future that is spread out and it’s bright and full of possibilities. They have a future where they can do what they want. They have a FAMILY. They have nieces, Aaron, Kate, Bee, the entire TFN team. Neil had nothing and now he has something. He has hope.

Promise Im coming down to the end omfg. This is why our Authors and End Notes are so fucking long i swear to fucking god.

This BTP chapter, we wanted to explore that fucking unbridled happiness. That elation of fuck - we have the world out in front of us. We don’t have any killers on our backs, Hailey is safe, Robin is safe, Jean is out, the Moriyama’s are taken care of, Stuart isn’t begging Neil to join the Hatford Branch, Aaron and Kate might be moving back to South Carolina, they’re married and all of that isn’t terrifying. It’s COMFORTING. So yes, this BTP chapter was bright and cheery. Neil was most certainly happy and showing it. Jumping on the bed, kisses all around, getting excited over ZOO BABIES and a ZOO CHOO train. But just because we show this side of him where he gets to go on a road trip and experience real and true fucking freedom for the first time, doesn’t mean that we’re all of a sudden shedding everything that we’ve built for his character. I don’t think that’s what you meant, but I mean it when I say we take the characters, the integrity of the characters, very, very seriously. Also in this chapter, Neil takes a homophobic asshole to task and not in the way that a lot of people do, but by quietly hinting at the threat because Neil doesn’t need bells and whistles. In fact, he even talked about how being happy was something his mother frowned upon:

Because the way he looked at Neil when a butterfly landed on his finger or when he snuggled up to a goat in the petting zoo let Neil know that Andrew was happy. And he was happy. That was something Neil never really had in his life. His mother didn’t care if he was happy, only that he was alive . In fact, the less happy he was, the fucking better. By her logic, he was less likely to go rogue if he didn't feel like there was something to be happy about outside of her.

Neil’s finally had a moment to enjoy and let go and we know exactly how that can come off, but we have an entire future planned for them and the book they’re about to explore. Spoiler Alert: It won’t be all “butterflies and rainbows”. But all of this does not mean that all of a sudden we’re giving in to tropes and changing his character entirely because of one chapter. RRP and it’s characters mean too much to us.

So I definitely get where you’re coming from and I’m so fucking sorry this is so long omfg. And I respect your view because we definitely worried that people would see them like that. But we have a reason for almost everything we do in this fic and really, we just wanted to see the boys happy here. We don’t believe he’s like Nicky and we don’t believe he’s clingy, but everyone interprets these characters differently, and you’re certainly entitled to that opinion. We hope this just makes our thought process on Neil’s development a little clearer. - The Creators

#Anonymous #red rabbits pod #ooc #rr answers 2

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bffsoobin · 4 years

Text

Windflower

01|02|03|04|05|06

↳ after a heartbreak you find yourself in a small town looking for purpose. you find employment with Choi Soobin and his impressive ancestral home. when you start to fall in love again, there’s no way for you to predict what you find in the depths of the home and Soobin’s mind.

➤ hanahaki au, angst, slight fluff, dark themes

Word Count:6,881

Warnings: swearing, descriptions of sickness and feeling generally unwell, mentions of doctors/medical treatments, deception, descriptions of anxiety/panic, horror, pain, major character death, general dark themes! Please proceed with caution if you’re sensitive! (also I did not proof read)

A/N:excuse my language; but holy fuck. I cannot believe this is the end of Windflower. This is insane. Windflower is my passion project, and the desire to write it is half the reason I opened my account on here. While it hasn’t been the most popular writing on my blog, I have been really really proud of it. Thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting this since the beginning! I love you all!

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.•

Soobin sat with his head dipped toward the dark wooden dining table. He was scrolling through what appeared to be a website for a plant nursery; as if he needed more within the home. You were sitting opposite of him, peeking over the top of your laptop where you were pretending to read an article on the ten best shows coming to Netflix this fall. Following the night of your drunken rage, the two of you had patched up your relationship as well as you possibly could. You’d traded apologies, talked it out over a store-bought cheesecake and moved on.

At least, you assumed he had. He acted as if you hadn’t accused him of being some type of fraud and proclaimed that you could no longer trust him. Everything was eerily the same, despite Soobin’s increased caution around you in certain settings. Gone were the days of him laying a hand on your back as you cooked or resting his head on your shoulder while you both dozed off on the couch.

You should have been grateful for his physical distance. Happy that he was giving you the room you had hinted at needing on that night a few weeks ago. Instead you were annoyed. Frustrated at the way you craved to feel his comforting touch even though you knew it would only bring you more pain in the end. For a while, you worried that his avoidance meant he had seen the evidence of your stupidity floating within the toilet bowl, but you knew Soobin well enough to know that he would have talked to you about it. Right? He would have brought it up; although slowly and with extreme caution, and asked you what he could do to help. He had proven himself to be mature and thoughtful, even after you’d tried to push him away.

He finally stirred in his seat across the table. You could actually hear a few of his bones crack with the movement and you stifled a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” He tried to sound intimidating, but his voice was so inherently soft around the edges that you couldn’t hold back the laugh.

“You’re just an old man,” you were poking at him, you knew, but it felt good. You felt normal. Almost like you were back to the time when the two of you were truly just friends. He planted both of his large, vascular hands flat on the table and leaned his weight forward.

“I’m an old man? You do know we’re the same age, Y/N. So if I’m so old...” he paused for dramatic affect as you stared up at him in amused awe. “Then you must be ancient.”

An offended gasp, obviously feigned, slipped between your lips; which you now noticed you’d chewed raw as you were thinking earlier.

“How dare you? I am the epitome of youth! My hair is flowing, my skin is flawless,” you pointed to a blemish on your chin you knew for a fact you’d had for days. “My youthful beauty is unmatched, can’t you tell?” You weren’t sure where your sudden good mood had come from but you basked in it. Even as Soobin used his hands as leverage to lean closer to your face, you didn’t budge. You couldn’t. This close up, you could spot every single little freckle on his face. The dynamic shades of his irises became more and more distinct until he finally stopped advancing toward you. It was easily the closest the two of you had been in weeks.

“Hm, you’re right. I can tell. There’s something about you...” he squinted his eyes as if he were scrutinizing your every feature. “You are beautiful, Y/N.”

The sentence brought an unwanted visceral reaction through your body. It was too much like a confession, too close to the exact words you needed to hear from him. A shooting pain rippled through your heart. You shuddered out an exhale, shutting your eyes tight as if that would stave away the pain. In a blind panic, you pushed away from the solid table and made to put as much distance between yourself and Soobin as possible. Then your migraine hit, the feeling like someone had stuck a red hot iron rod behind both of your eyes. Fuck. On top of that pain, a cough worked its way up your throat, producing a petal into your mouth that was slimy and bitter.

You only made it two and a half steps before your knees gave out, sending you hurtling toward the floor in a free fall. Sticking your hands out just before the impact, you accepted the fact that you were about to get a concussion out of your own inability to properly distance yourself from an unrequited love. But the sensitive skin of your face never bounced off of the original hardwood flooring you had once drooled over.

“Y/N?” Soobin was panicked, stooped down next to you as he had managed to barely break your fall and turn you around to lay on your back. Your vision was still swimming, but you cracked open your eyes very slowly.

‘What’s wrong? Do you need to go to a doctor?”��

“No,” you croaked out, “was just a migraine.” Soobin scoffed.

“I’ve never seen anyone nearly pass out from just a migraine, Y/N. And in all the months I’ve known you, you’ve never-”

“I’m fine.” You asserted, sitting up as well as you could with his arms wrapped protectively around your shoulders. “They used to happen the last time I- uh, when I was in college. It’s okay, they’ll pass.” You were lying right through your teeth. The last time you had a migraine this badly, your then roommate had rushed you to the emergency room and discovered that you had hanahaki. There was no doubt that history was repeating itself.

“Okay.” He was frowning, obviously unconvinced as he pushed a hand against your lower back. “At least let me help you upstairs.”

----

The migraine either dissipates or you simply become accustomed to it. The petal you had coughed into a tissue when you first reached your room had dried, sitting on your bedside table in its perfect little form to mock you. You were so disgusted that you couldn’t even bring yourself to throw it away. No longer sensitive to light, you shrugged out from underneath your sheets and stretched your limbs until they cracked. A dull thumping was still present at the base of your skull; a reminder of what you’d just suffered. A sickly feeling of anxiety passed through you like a breeze, making the hair on the back of your neck stand to attention. Soobin was clearly not convinced by your insistence that your sudden ailment was nothing of concern. And he was right. In all the time you’d been around him, you never once experienced a spell quite like that, so how was he supposed to not be suspicious?

Although, you had to hold onto hope that he truly didn’t know any better. It seemed as though he was blissfully ignorant to the truth behind your sickness, and you’d like to keep it that way. For as long as you possibly could, anyway.

You hadn’t even noticed that you were pacing across the floor until you landed your weight onto a particularly squeaky board that sounded ridiculous in the otherwise quiet room. Freezing on the spot, you held your breath for some reason you truly couldn’t explain. Of course, there was no logical reason to do so, and the action only resulted in your lungs contracting violently. Your upper body shuddered as you opened your mouth instantly. Holding your breath for just a few seconds should have been a simple task, but to your weakened heart and lungs it felt like running a whole marathon uphill.

Buckling over, you heaved in mouthfuls of oxygen until your heart rate dropped back down to a normal rate. Add shortness of breath to your growing list of signs that should send you running for the nearest clinic. If you weren’t so foolishly attached to the man who was probably worrying about you downstairs, you would have already been booking yourself an appointment.

It just seemed totally inconceivable, even in your predicament, to leave Soobin behind within his ancestral house that surely felt horridly empty being lived in alone. You would sooner walk over lava barefoot than put him through that. It was stupid. So incredibly stupid, but you were literally willing to put your life on the line just to look after Soobin. He had really weaseled himself deep into your psyche. But you knew you were to blame for holding the door wide open. He had done so much for you, surely you could do him to kindness of sticking around as long as you possibly could.

So you trudged down the steps like you did every day, expecting to come face to face with an overly worried and doting young man standing in the kitchen or living room awaiting your arrival. But the lower level of the house was oddly silent when you descended the steps. The low hum of the washer and dryer running were the only indications that someone beside yourself was even there. Curiosity spiking, you made your way to the vacant living room to peer out of the windows. It was a bit hard to see him from this angle, but you spotted Soobin lounging on the back deck, skin browning in the sun and eyes closed in content. His arms were tucked behind his head, effectively lengthening his torso and giving you a full view of the sliver of skin that was peeking out between the top of his waistband and the bottom of the white cotton t-shirt You noticed that he was once again wearing the outfit he was donning when you first arrived at the front gate weeks ago. Although the outfit was simple and generally unremarkable, you would never forget the way your heart lurched at the sight of his lithe body the first time. The warm pull of nostalgia nagged at the back of your mind, so you selfishly let yourself sink into its embrace and recall the trepidation you had once approached the grounds with.

Soobin had charmed you so easily with his windswept hair and boyish charm that it was a shock you didn’t begin to grow flowers for him the first time you met. To be fair, the version of you who had rolled into town almost two months prior was much more cautious than the version you were now familiar with. Part of you missed that version of you; who was simply drifting through life, unattached to anyone and looking for a new spot to plant her roots. But you knew you weren’t built to live like that, as your attachment to Soobin had proven wholeheartedly.

Suddenly, you felt a lurching in your chest that didn’t necessarily hurt you; but urged you to go outside and talk to Soobin. A subconscious pull that reminded you that your body craved his attention just as much as your mind did. The weather was beautiful today, a pleasant temperature that made your skin feel like it was glowing as soon as you were under the sun. As soon as you stepped onto the porch, Soobin whipped his head around in your direction. Cutely, he scrambled to sit up, hair frizzy from the static of the Adirondack chair he had been lounging on.

“Are you feeling better?” A warm hand encased the left side of your face, Soobin’s sloped nose just inches away from yours as his speckled eyes studied every single pore and line on your face.

“Uh- I’m-” his proximity was making your jittery, heart rate spiking as you tried to collect your thoughts. “I feel better. The migraine is gone.” You ignored the way the same dull ache from earlier was beginning to seep into the edges of your brain.

“Oh, good!” A rush of his breath blew over your sensitive skin, sending your eyelids into a flutter. When he removed his hand, you felt oddly cold and empty despite the heat of the atmosphere. “Look, I don’t want you to do any work around the house until you’re feeling better. And I can call my doctor to get you in for a-”

“No!” The word jumped off of your tongue before you could reign it in; rudely cutting Soobin off as his eyes widened in shock. He shifted his weight as his eyebrows knit together in worry. You licked your lips- suddenly dry- and tried to collect the thoughts that were running laps in your mind. How could you possibly explain that going to the doctor would be a grave mistake and mark the end of your companionship.

“You don’t want to go to the doctor? I promise he’s really nice, Y/N, and he can get you medicine for your migraines.” His perfect lips were pulled into a worried pout, a thin sheen of sweat glazing his skin only exemplifying his perfect complexion.

“No, it’s just that...when I had them before they ran a bunch of tests,” you were hedging the truth and you knew it, but hopefully Soobin couldn’t tell the difference, “and there was nothing they could give me to help them. So a doctor would just be, ya know, a waste of time.” The skin on the back of your neck was heated in worry as you shot Soobin what you hoped was a convincing grin.

“Okay.” He was still frowning but he seemed to believe you. “Just please let me know if you want to go. I don’t want you to be miserable. And you’re still not doing any yard work,” he grasped your bicep and led you over to the chair he had just been lying in. His grip was strong as he gave you no choice but to sit down and relax. The plastic was heated from the sunshine and the heat of his body as you settled in and looked up at him, blinking slowly.

“I’m not gonna break, Soobin. I can handle watering the plants and doing some cleaning inside. You are not going to wait on me hand and foot.” You put some fire in your tone, hoping to edge away the anxiety you were feeling creep up the back of your throat. Having the exact person who sent your body on a fight against itself watching over you like a mother cat watches its kittens would surely put you six feet under.

Soobin’s eyes steeled as he crossed his arms over his broad, defined chest. “No, Y/N. I am going to wait on you, because you’ve spent so much time waiting on me, and you deserve to have someone take care of you. Please let me take care of you, bub.” You were speechless at the strength of his voice coupled with the nickname he had only used in a teasing manner prior to this moment. The longer you stared at the toned muscle of his arms crossed over the widest part of his torso, the more your throat began to tickle with the insistence of soft, red petals that were looking for an escape. Panicked, you looked away quickly, coughing as softly as you can to hopefully pass the action off as simply swallowing down the wrong pipe. Just when you think the moment has passed, an unwavering push at the back of your throat had you involuntarily gagging. Soobin sprung into action, patting a large hand between your shoulder blades as if he were burping an infant. He was calling your name, pulling some strands of your hair away from your face in a bid to get your attention; but you ignored him. Your stomach rolled, the pressure in your lungs and heart only increasing at his touch that you tried to shrug off.

Eventually the muscles of your esophagus stopped constricting and fresh oxygen could flow back into your crowded lungs. Hot tears slipped down your cheeks and you wiped at them in embarrassment, hiding your face from Soobin’s intensified gaze. You could only imagine what he was thinking right now; as you’d just went from insisting you had no need for a doctor to dry heaving over the side of his deck furniture. The thought had you shrinking into yourself even more. He was going to catch on eventually, wasn’t he? Fuck. You couldn’t avoid this much longer. The evidence of your disease was only mounting and Soobin was more observant than ever before.

“Y/N.” The call of your name brought you, slowly, out of your own mind. “Look at me.” The words could not have been any clearer, yet you shook your head like a petulant child. He sighed. “Please, I’m worried about you. Please let me take care of you. I can’t,” he stopped and you could hear him swallow clearly. Was that a sniffle? Your heart clenched in response. “I can’t sit here and watch you hurt.”

Still ashamed, you raised your head from your hands and stared out over the yard instead of facing him. You didn’t think your stuttering heart would survive seeing his expression in this supercharged moment. You’d sooner drop dead than see Soobin crying over you.

“Okay,” you acquiesced, mind already running in the direction of a backup plan, “I’m sorry, Soobin. You’re right. I do need you to look after me. Just please.” you swallowed, tasting the oddly earthy tang of flower petals on your tongue. “No doctors. You have to promise me.” Finally turning your body to face his, your earlier suspicions were confirmed.

Your heart constricted painfully at the sight of him, eyes rimmed red and watery with unshed tears and a line of worry creasing the soft skin of his forehead harshly. “Fine.” He huffed, clearly displeased with your stipulation but willing to make the sacrifice.

“Thank you,” the words were whispered, caught in a sudden gust of wind, but he heard them nonetheless and sent you a small nod.

“Of course.”

----

Soft sunlight filtered through the flowy white curtains hanging over the windows of the library. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t spent much time in this little haven since you moved in. Soobin’s cousin had filled it with plush armchairs laden with soft fleece blankets and the most comfortable throw pillows you’d ever felt. The books were certainly outdated, but you found some classics that satisfied the itch for escape you had begun to cultivate. Currently, you were flipping through a vintage illustrated coffee table book- the front page tells you it was made in 1962- that gave diagrams and names of all types of flowers. You shouldn’t have been surprised to find this type of literature here, as Soobin himself had admitted to learning the meanings of flowers in his free time.

The pages were delicate, so you flipped them carefully, fingers tracing over the edges that felt like they might melt between the oil of your skin. As you turned onto a new page a brightly colored sticky note, not unlike the ones you used to mark up textbooks, drew your attention toward the flower it was attached to. You recognized the flower as jasmine immediately, familiar with the patch of it that weaved among its neighbors in the garden. Brushing the sticky note aside, you read the delicate cursive underneath it: eternal and unconditional love. Cute. The image of a younger Soobin thumbing through the book, tongue pushed out in concentration as he researched warmed your heart.

A tremor of weakness passed through your arm, making your hand shake. A feeling of dread- which you desperately tried to push down- reminded you of just how much worse your condition had become. You had noticed it lately, the way you felt much more faint than normal, how much more often you had to take a moment to catch your breath, the way your whole body would shake when you cough up a mix of blood and petals into the sink.

But for now, you chose to lose yourself in this book and the newfound hunt for Soobin’s sticky notes of interest. You had to skip a few pages before you found the next ones; two bundled together in the upper left corner of the page marked off forget-me-nots and begonias. Gently lifting the sticky notes revealed the meanings behind these flowers, also featured in the backyard, to be true love and deep compassion and communication or connection, respectively. Curiosity mounting, you continued to flip through the weighty book. At first, you began to think that maybe the three notes you’d already found were all that lived within the forgotten book. As you neared the end, your eyes caught on two more, this time on opposite ends of the page. One partially covered an illustration of a snapdragon, the other highlighting the small flowers of a buttercup. Your nails caught on the edge of the blue paper as you lifted it. Buttercups: neatness and innocence. The definition made sense, calling back to memory the way your former best friend had coughed up a handful of the pale yellow flowers when you were just children. She was easily the most pure and innocent person you’d ever met, and given the matching nature of the boy who’d also been secretly pining over her; you couldn’t think of a more perfect example of the type of flower representing the relationship.

You wondered if Soobin had chosen and planted these flowers with the image of the relationships they’re indicative of in mind. The snapdragon’s description was totally covered by the sticky note; so you nearly had to pry the whole thing off before you could see the cursive. Deception. The word stared back at you. It seemed very out of place among the other markings that Soobin had made. You knew for a fact that a tall, thick patch of snapdragons were growing proudly in the garden, among all the other flowers with soft, beautiful meanings. Interesting. You would consider the fact that Soobin was only drawn to their aesthetics, but the way the drawing was marked with the same enthusiasm as the others was certainly curious.

You decided that you were thinking way too far into this. For all you knew, the snapdragons were simply planted by someone in his family and he had gone looking for their meaning. Nearing the end of the book, you were simply skimming over the book. Your eyes were starting to get tired, fatigue dancing under your skin as you considered taking a nap right there. On the final, yellowed page of the flower identification book, you spotted something alarmingly familiar. A red flower whose petals fade into a pure white near the stem. The exact same petals that had been crawling up your throat and ruining the little bit of safety you’d found within Soobin’s home.

Suddenly on high alert, you sat up straight, eyes watering as you finally focused enough to comprehend the definition. The red windflower. Death and forsaken love. Your throat went completely dry, heart dropping down to your stomach. The petals pushed against the soft flesh of the inside of your throat, scratching at the back of your tongue as a harsh reinforcement of what you were reading. Death? Surely you had joked with yourself that you felt as if you were dying, but was that not just because you hadn’t seen a doctor?

A new gagging cough slipped past your lips, consuming your senses totally as you focused on not spewing a mix of blood, spit and flower petals onto the surely expensive leather chair. Finally, you collapsed back in the chair, chest heaving, book laid open on your lap. Fresh tears brimmed your eyes. You needed to leave. As much as you desired to stay around Soobin and bask in his company, you were becoming increasingly worried for your life. You had to find a way to get him out of the house long enough for you to pack up the essentials and flee the house. It would hurt. It would hurt so bad, but nothing could be worse than the message of doom that your body was giving you. Loving Soobin would literally put you in an early grave.

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” Soobin’s voice came cautiously from somewhere behind you and you jumped, clasping the book shut quickly.

“I’m-” you tried, voice too wrecked from coughing to continue. You cleared your throat, ignoring the painful pinch that created and tried again. “I’m okay. But I was wondering if you’d do me a favor?” Thinking on your feet had your head spinning, and you hoped he couldn’t sense the waver in your voice as you spoke.

He approached slowly, sitting himself on an armchair opposite of you. The knees of his jeans were stained brown with dirt, a sight not uncommon after his time in the garden. He pushed a hand through his mussed up hair. It was a nervous tick, you knew, and you felt awful for worrying him. Maybe it was better if you left after all.

“Could you go out to Hank’s and get me a Smore’s sundae? I would drive myself but...” a vague gesture over your generally unwell body made the point clear. “I know it’s pretty far out of town but I’ve been craving one since the first time we went.”

“Of course. I’m done outside, I can go. Are you sure you’ll be okay alone? I’ll be out for probably like 40 minutes to get all the way there and back.”

“Yes, Soobin. I can still handle myself alone. I’m not that sick.” The irony of the statement was not lost on you, but it seemed to have placated him enough for him to slip on his shoes and leave the house. As soon as he was gone, you threw yourself off of the chair. Your heart rate had been in a constant state of increase for weeks, but you just had to just push through it for now.

In a flurry of packing that was all too familiar to the way you left your college apartment, you began to gather your things. You felt a twinge of guilt for leaving behind some of your things for Soobin to contend with, but you had to push it aside in favor of working quickly. All of your personal items, chargers, enough clothing for two weeks, toiletries and any money you’d brought along with you were stuffed into your trusty tote bag. You took one last sweeping look around the room, anxiety licking at the back of your neck as you feared you were running out of time. Many of your dressers were still full and you had left the bed a mess but your most important items were tucked underneath your arm securely; and that was enough for you.

As you descended the stairs, you tried to ignore the way you wobbled dangerously down them until you finally got to the bottom level of the house. A bittersweet feeling rose in your chest as you surveyed the kitchen where you’d cooked and baked so many times. The living room beckoned you with similar memories of taking naps in the sunshine and watching your favorite films. A stray tear you didn’t know was welling up made a hot streak down your face before dripping off of your skin. No matter how much it hurt, you had to keep moving. The floor creaked familiarly under your feet as you approached the front door. The handle was cold under your fingers as you twisted, but the satisfying creak and rush of fresh air that you were expecting never came. You tried again, but the door didn’t budge. Locked. Okay, that made sense. Neither of you really used the front door, so of course it was locked up. Leaning down to inspect the doorknob, you realized that the age of the home meant that you would need a skeleton key to slip into the door and crack it open.

Slightly annoyed, you took a deep, steadying breath and headed for the backdoor. You would have to walk further to get to your car; but the back door should be unlocked, considering Soobin had just left out of it. With more fervor, you gripped the door knob and twisted, just to be met with the same resistance the front door gave. A flash of hot panic consumed you as you jiggled the handle again, just in case it would make any difference. Soobin must have locked it out of habit when he left, and you knew for a fact that he had the only key-as far as you knew- with him out at Hank’s. Blindly, you grabbed for your cellphone before realizing how useless that would truly be. No one knew you were here. You didn’t have any other friends in town, and it’s not like you could call the police to come help you without Soobin finding out. Sweaty palms made your phone nearly slip from your grip as your mind worked in overdrive.

“Okay.” you whispered to yourself, “where would he keep spare keys?” Rifling through a mental list of all the nooks and crannies of the home, a sudden realization hit you. That room upstairs where you had hit your head! That would explain why the room seemed oddly clean, and it was feasible to believe that what you mistook for an AC unit was actually a safe of some kind. Back up the steps you went, heart thumping in a rhythm that was surely unhealthy for someone as young as yourself.

When you finally got to the room, you found the mismatched furniture exactly where you left it. Soobin had clearly made no effort to move back the dresser or the table that you’d begun to slide out of the way; only making your mission so much easier.

For the first time today, you had luck when you pulled at the handle of something. Up close, you seemed to be clearly looking at some kind of built in storage compartment, made of a light metal and easily accessed by a small pull lever. Your fingers slipped as you swung the door open, excitement rising at the prospect of being correct about the keeping place of the keys.

As fast as the excitement and relief had risen, they were quelled and buried deep underneath a wash of confusion. Within the confines of the compartment, you were faced with... flowers. In the middle, acting as some sort of centerpiece, was a pressed snapdragon stem. An entire cluster of flowers, attached firmly to a greened stem was propped up on a small stand; shrink wrapped in protective plastic. Something about the sight was oddly familiar. The stem was cut so perfectly across, completely unlike the way a garden sheer or someone breaking off the plant would present. A memory surfaced to the top of your mind, recalling the first time you’d had your flowers removed. It was cut in the exact same manner; with the precision only a surgical tool could make. Although you’d tried to bury the whole process in a dusty corner of your mind, you did remember your doctor offering the option to take the removed flower home. It had appalled and confused you, but it was clear that that was the source of this exact flower.

“What the fuck?” you whispered, catching sight of an almost unrecognizable sharpie scribbled on the corner. CS. Initials? Oh god. CS. Choi Soobin. Your hand recoiled as if you’d been burned, the feeling of bile raising toward your tongue. He had told you that he never grew flowers, so what the hell was this? Why would he keep this a secret? Hurt and panic joined hands and wreaked havoc on your nervous system. You could barely think straight. Was this his...trophy case?

When you shifted on your feet, you spotted a small envelope resting behind the stand. A sick feeling of curiosity had you reaching for it. At this point, you had no idea what to expect as your fingers stick to the material thanks to the sweat permeating your body. It takes a few tries, but once you finally get the envelope slipped open, you can’t tell what you’re looking at. The lighting was too awkward, so you dumped the contents out onto the surface of the compartment. You weren’t sure what you were expecting to see; but it certainly wasn’t this. Dozens of flower petals, dried and shrink wrapped in the same fashion as the haunting centerpiece spilled out in front of you. The smooth metal surface sent them all skidding, so it took you a second to get the whole picture. The first one to catch your eye was a white, pointed petal that you could easily identify as jasmine with the same handwritten pair of letters on one corner. YJ. Another protected petal, this one the tell tale purple-blue of a forget me not bore the letters SA. In fact, you could match every single one of these petals to a flower you had been fawning over in the garden since your arrival.

One that had scattered toward the back of the case seemed to compel you even though you couldn’t quite see it. You reached for it blindly, bringing a few, clearly much older flowers forward with it. Sifting through them only struck more and more fear into you. Every instinct you had was telling you to run, scream, pound on a window until you could bust out. Soobin was clearly not all he had claimed to be. But a dark, twisted side of yourself you didn’t know existed wanted to sift through all of the petals and match them up with the garden you’d cared for. Resting at the bottom of the pile in your hand, you finally came across the petal you’d initially reached for.

It was about the size of a penny; red, fading into a simple white at the bottom. This was it. This was the exact petal that you’d spit out onto your bedside table after your first awful migraine. Now that you thought about it, you never did throw it out. You were too disgusted to even face the flora that haunted you.

Your heart stopped. The sharpie on this flower was smudged, as if he had been in too much of a hurry to let it dry. Your initials were there, clear as day. He had collected your flower for his sick collection. He had collected...you.

The little happy world you had built yourself came crashing down like a ton of bricks. If he had done this to you, then surely all of these other petals came from others who had come to work and live with him. You recalled an early discussion about family tradition as you thumbed over a group of much more withered looking flowers.

This was the family tradition.

Alarms blared in your mind. Get out, your mind urged faster than your feet could move. Tripping over yourself, you hoped that Soobin wasn’t home yet, as you had no idea how to get out of the home. Your feet pounded noisily on the hardwood but that was the very least of your worries. Skidding into the kitchen, your blood ran cold.

Soobin.

“Hey,” his voice was smooth, unwavering as he leaned against the sink nursing a bottle of water. On the island there was a brown paper bag with Hank’s logo printed on the front. “There’s your ice cream.”

You didn’t know what to do. Clearly, you had been caught red handed with a tote bag in hand and anxious sweat rolling down your face.

“Oh, uh. Thanks.” The room sat creepily still as Soobin’s eyes, devoid of any clear emotion, roved over you. He quirked an eyebrow as he pushed himself off of the counter. You couldn’t move, even as he stalked closer.

“What happened to you resting? You’re sick.” He had asked a question but it seemed clear we really wasn’t looking for an answer.

“I just-” your words turned into a gasp as Soobin gripped your shoulder so hard that it hurt. Gone were the usually careful caresses of his fingers as he pushed you backwards. With your body already weak it only took one wrong step for you to be sent flying toward the floor. On instinct, you tried to grab onto Soobin’s solid body for support, but he stepped back and watched you fall, bouncing the back of your head off of the floor hard enough to go limp. Consciousness came and went as you struggled to do anything in the name of self defense. Your lungs and heart were too compromised to acquire and pump the nutrients your body needed. Soobin crouched over you, studying you with a passive look on his face.

“Ya know,” he sighed, pulling the tote bag away from your body. “I really did like you. I hoped to have spent some more time with you, but you’re just,” he clicked his tongue, grabbing you firmly by the ankles and giving an experimental tug. You slid along the floor easily. “So. Nosy. Too nosy for your own good.”

“Soobin, you’re not- this isn’t-” a dark chuckle passed between his lips. The ones you once dreamed of.

“You don’t know me. This is exactly who I am, Y/N. This is who my whole family is.” He dropped your ankles harshly, secure in the fact that you were too weak to get up. A shroud of darkness filled your head as you grayed out from the panic. When you awoke again, it was to the sound of birds chirping. It hurt to open your eyes but you did it anyway, spotting Soobin just above you, wielding a shovel.

He smiled down at you, deceivingly handsome, as he stuck the shovel into the pliant ground just to your side. Looking to your left, you spotted a freshly dug shallow grave and your blood ran cold at the recognition that he must have been digging this earlier in the day when you were reading.

“Please, don’t do this.” you begged with the last of your energy. “Soobin, please. I- I love you.” Desperation had you spitting out your deepest secrets in a bid to catch his attention and change his behavior.

“Awe,” he crooned, grabbing onto your wrists with a grip that would certainly bruise your delicate skin. “I know.” One sharp movement had you landing on your back in the dirt, several feet below ground level. The impact pushed all the air out of your compromised lungs and you didn’t even have the semblance to lift your head and scream to anyone listening. Soobin stood above you, blocking the sun from your view as he dropped something onto you. It took you a few moments, but you soon realized he had dropped a handful of red windflower petals and seeds onto your front. You shuddered. This is surely what had happened to all the other people who carried the flowers you’d found. This was how Soobin kept his beautiful garden. Sacrifice.

Wordlessly, he piled shovel fulls of dirt on top of your body. With your eyes slipping shut, all you could do was feel the weight of being buried alive consume you.

----

Soobin hated the winter. It was too long, too cold, too boring. He usually spent the whole time holed up in his home, dreaming of the day the weather warms.

Finally, finally, after months of waiting the time had come. An early summer breeze pushed his hair out of his face. This season he had decided to go for a purple color that seemed to suit his complexion well. Sitting on his favorite deck chair, he gazed out at the beginnings of his blooming garden. All of the usuals had cropped up, but it was with great pride and delight that Soobin regarded the patch of red windflowers that had begun to grow. For their first season, they were going strong, covering almost the entire plot of land he had allowed them. For a while, he had been worried that the new plants wouldn’t perform well, since he’d never dealt with them before. But he was quite proud.

As he sipped from a frosty glass of lemonade, he heard the distant crunch of his driveway gravel. It had been almost a year since the last time he heard it, but his heart jumped in excitement. Stretching his limbs, he began a lazy meander toward the front gate; already making out the slight static of the speaker as someone spoke into it, introducing themselves and asking if they were in the right place. Clearing his throat, he rounds to corner to the great iron gate surrounded by his guarding trees and glances back at his garden. Then he advanced, opening the gate as he came and beckoning his new guest inside the boundaries of his property.

“Hi! I’m Soobin. This house belonged to my great-great-uncle and his wife. Well, wives.”

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