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#playing out in my head the same way it did then
luveline · 2 days
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Hi jadeeeee I have a request for coworker James! Another man whether it’s at work or somewhere else starts hitting on reader and James get jealous and realizes he hates seeing her with other guys
ty for requesting 💌 fem
It’s another sunny day at the office, but today is the day the vending machine men come in and fill them, so it’s not all bad. The doors and windows are wide open, the air is fresh and clean. 
“It’s too hot,” Remus complains without any real passion. 
“It’s not that bad,” Sirius says, though he raises his hand to begin fanning Remus anyhow. “It feels hotter than it is because of the humidity.” 
“I feel amazing,” James says. He gives you a nudge with his shoe, his hair tickling his neck as he leans back in his chair. “It’s not that hot, is it?” 
“It’s boiling,” you say. 
You were never going to agree with him. It could be sub zero and you’d tell him you were on fire. James rolls his eyes at you and continues a rather lavish existence of sun, breeze, and cold grapes, their crisp insides popping between his teeth. 
“Sorry,” you say. 
James lifts his head. 
“That’s okay,” Jordan says, to James’ immediate affront. There’s no need for the man in charge of maintaining the vending machine to be talking to you in that tone. It’s bordering too sweet. 
“I’m always in your way,” you laugh. 
“You? In my way? Never.” 
You turn to Remus with an obvious expression. Is he flirting with me? it says. 
Remus looks at James —what the fuck?— before he gives you a tentative back and forth of his head, weighing it up. He shrugs. 
James shakes his head resolutely. 
You give them both the silent version of I understand and settle down in your seat again. The vending machine guy (what’s his name again? James can’t remember) pops open the front cover of the machine and takes out the change box. Clearly, he doesn’t categorise you or the boys as a risk of burglary. 
“So,” Jordan says, “how was your weekend? Did you do much?” 
“In this weather?” you ask with light-humoured sarcasm. “I went on a couple of walks, nothing huge. How about you?” 
“Went to a couple of matches.” 
“Rugby or football?” 
“Rugby, always.” 
James feels the pressure of his teeth clenching at the back of his head. “Do you play, mate?” he asks. 
Jordan looks at him in surprise. “No, we just watch. It’s an excuse to have a pint before five.” 
You break two slices of your clementine away from each other. James doesn’t know why, but your gaze is on him, and that’s where he wants it. “Day drinker?” he asks sympathetically. 
“James,” Sirius says, laughing. “Grow up.” 
“Sometimes,” Jordan says. He finishes reinstalling the change holder and starts to push snacks and drinks onto the vending machine shelves. “Gotta have a little bit of fun every now and then, right?” 
He emphasises to you. 
You give a shy smile. “Right.” 
Jordan finishes his job and wishes everyone goodbye quickly after that. You chew your clementine, your finger looped under your bracelet, tugging slowly round and around. He fucked that up for you, didn’t he? You couldn’t get very far with him poking holes at poor Jordan, but… you’d been smiling at him nicely. You’re allowed to smile at whoever you want to, of course you are, so why did James act like that? 
“Sorry,” he says. 
You slide your thumb between slices of clementine. “To me?” you ask from the corner of your mouth. “For what?” 
Sirius and Remus laugh at the same time. 
James ignores them. “I was mean to him. How are you ever gonna get a date if I bully the vending machine guy?” 
“You think I can’t get a date?” you ask. 
“No.” He grimaces. “No, just, he’s a dickhead.” 
“As opposed to who? You?” you ask. 
James is pretty sure his vision goes white. He hates seeing you with other boys, but this isn’t where he wanted the conversation to go. He doesn’t wanna be your boyfriend. He just hates seeing you happy with other people. 
Oh, god, he thinks. That’s horrible. 
“I think you can do a whole lot better than Jacob the vending machine guy.” 
“Jordan,” you correct, laughing. You don’t bring him up on avoiding your real question, perhaps you don’t notice. You just laugh with Remus and pass James a piece of your clementine. “Vending machines are an honest living. Don’t be so classist.” 
“You’re classist,” he rebukes weakly. He ignores Sirius’ knowing gaze to offer you his punnet of grapes. “Horrible woman.” 
“Get it together, Potter.” 
James doesn’t know what to say to you after that, so he says nothing at all. Your clementine is sweet on his tongue. 
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“hungover” - hotch x fem!reader
after a girls’ night in, you wake up next to your boyfriend.
1380 words - FLUFFY FLUFF
cw; mentions of alcohol and food, implied age gap?, typical hangover, jemily agenda (sry not sry)
a/n: I wrote this on my phone on vacation bc I have a serious problem
———————
The first thing you notice when you wake up is that you are not in your clothes.
You aren’t in your clothes. And you only realize it because of the scent wafting up your nose. Sea Salt Breeze - the cologne you’d gotten him for Christmas last year - emanates from the t-shirt that envelopes your upper half. You dip your chin for another whiff, breathing him in deeply. You want the smell inscribed into your brain.
You feel the bed dip and creak and you instinctively shut your eyes, playing possum as Aaron pads into the bathroom. The door whines as he shuts it most of the way, not totally closing it because he thinks you’re still asleep and that the sound of the door shutting will wake you.
Each of your senses turns on one at a time, like your brain waves run on dial-up Internet. You open your eyes and the room is mostly dark, save for the sliver of light creeping in through the outline of the curtains. You run the palm of your hand along Aaron’s sheets and marvel over how soft they are - Egyptian cotton, he’d told you once before.
Your head hurts, but only mildly. You’d certainly been drunker before, but last night was still up there. Penelope made her mojitos strong.
You slowly sit up in the bed as Aaron opens the door, flicking the bathroom light off in the same motion. Your eyes meet his and he cracks a small smile. “Thought you’d still be asleep,” he muses. You love his pale blue boxers and seeing the hair on his legs. His calves are crazy defined - he’s a runner, after all, but still. You rarely see him in anything but a suit and tie, so it’s always a treat. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
You shake your head, wincing slightly at the movement. Maybe you’re a little more hungover than you thought. “I was already awake,” you mumble, running a hand over your face. “Did you put me in your own clothes last night? I have pajamas in my drawer,” you point out, gesturing to the second drawer of Aaron’s dresser, the one that contains your set of pajamas, a few spare pairs of underwear, and a couple of emergency outfits, just in case you end up sleeping over at his place.
It happens more often than not, so you keep the drawer decently stocked at all times.
“You insisted,” Aaron climbs into the bed, reaching for you. He tugs you to him and you roll over onto your side, and then halfway onto your tummy so that your leg drapes over his and your palm rests flat on his chest.
You can hear his heart beating. It’s like a metronome, steady and guiding and calm. You feel his pointed chin nuzzle into your hair and then, his lips, quick yet effective, against your forehead.
Flashes of last night run through your head. You, Emily and JJ, over at Penelope’s apartment. A symphony of girlish giggles, talking about Emily and JJ’s upcoming wedding date, drinking at least three pitchers of mojitos among the four of you. Watching Dirty Dancing and gabbing the entire time, realizing it’d be a bad idea to drive yourself home, and calling Aaron to come get you.
When he arrived, you called him Hotch and apologized for him having to come get you, and he reminded you that he was Aaron and he was your boyfriend and he would pick you up anytime you needed it. You were determined to play the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on the ride home, fumbling with his phone until you found it.
You belted out (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life and demanded Aaron sing along. He admitted that he didn’t know all the words and you gave him a stern lecture until you started laughing so hard that you were in tears. Traffic lights reflected Christmas ornament colors in Aaron’s brown eyes as he drove, occasionally glancing over at you.
You swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as you berated him for not knowing the words to such a classic song.
And then, once you were back at his place, you sat on the edge of the bed and stared at your shoes dumbly until Aaron offered to help you take them off. “Laces too hard,” you mumbled, and Aaron just hummed in agreement before kneeling down to help you.
And then he helped you out of your clothes. He went for your drawer, and you threw a pillow at him. “The college t-shirt,” you demanded with these Bambi-esque eyes.
“Arms up, baby,” Aaron said as he slid his law school t-shirt onto your upper half. He saved that specific term of endearment for times like these, when he was taking care of you, when he himself was exhausted. You could tell he was, too, not only because he kept yawning, but because of that glazed-over look in his chestnut eyes.
You glance down at the words George Washington University, printed over your chest.
Aaron’s arms around you tighten for just a moment as he embraces you, and you dig your face a little further into his chest. “No Jack today?” You ask, your voice coming out croaky.
“At his grandparents’,” Aaron murmurs, and you yawn. He strokes your hair. “How’s your head?”
“I haven’t had any complaints so far.”
Aaron’s hand freezes in your hair, and you lift your head, smirking at him. His mouth has formed a straight line, but you snicker and you can tell he’s trying not to smile at your dirty joke. “Degenerate,” he calls you.
“Prude,” you tease back, inching closer to kiss his jaw briefly before laying your head back down. “It hurts,” you answer his question. “But not as bad as it could.”
“That’s good,” Aaron comments, his hand running through your hair again, gently, the world’s most relaxing and least effective hairbrush. It feels nice, but his hands are so big that his fingers snag on the tangles, accomplishing nothing but making you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Nothing wrong with that, though.
“Do you want some Tylenol for your headache?” Aaron asks, and you just curl up into him even more. He’s so warm, and sturdy, and it’s so rare that you get mornings like this. Either you’re both working or Jack has a soccer game or there’s something else going on. It’s nice just to lay around with him, to be mildly hungover and pretend like that’s the only thing going on in either of your lives.
“That would require getting out of bed,” you protest, and feel Aaron’s arms tighten around you. He’s a very doting boa constrictor.
“How about I get it for you, then?” He offers, and you shake your head and shift all your weight onto him. He chuckles, a deep, throaty noise you know you’re only privy to for about twenty minutes right after he’s woken up. “So that’s a no.”
“That’s a no,” you confirm, settling back in to your original position.
You lay like that with him, in comfortable silence, for a few minutes. Until it feels like you’ve melded into one being. Then Aaron finally shifts under you. “Honey, my arm’s asleep,” he whispers, as though he’s afraid to disturb you.
You slither off of him, then clamber out of bed with no amount of grace, going so far as to trip over the corner post of the bed. As Aaron sits up, you exclaim, “I’m okay!” and hold your hands out to steady yourself.
Aaron stifles a laugh and you watch him stand from the bed and he walks towards you, steadying you with one of those gargantuan hands on your shoulder. He then lifts that hand to tip your chin up. You step forward in a silent dance, wrapping your arms around his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him. “Oh, shit,” you murmur. “I bet I have really awful morning breath.”
He just blinks a few times, and then offers you a shit-eating grin. “Yeah, honey, you kind of do,” he admits. You lightly punch him in the pectoral and then head to the en suite to brush your teeth.
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samkerrworshipper · 3 days
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how did it end? | arsenal x reader
warnings: suicidal themes, self harm, alcohol abuse, depression
um yeah lol feel grateful for this because i’m going to go ghost mode for the rest of the week! to the anons who have a problem with my writing, don’t fucking read this if it’s such a problem, in fact don’t read any of my stuff at all, my page is a better place without you.
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Everything about the day had felt wrong.
Everything about your last month had felt wrong, really the whole year if you thought about it.
It had all started after a blindside move from your home club. Leaving Rsenal had been the worst thing that had ever happened, but you’d known it was coming after they’d signed Russo. There was only so much room for strikers on the team, and your contract happened to be out as the summer started, leaving you as a free agent.
Somehow, you’d ended up at PSG, which you still didn’t understand. There had been offers everwhere, Lyon, Real Madrid, Man City, Chelsea, Bayern, Wolfsburg, yet your manager had fucked you and gone for PSG.
It had been a clusterfuck from the day you’d arrived, the language barrier, your horrible mental state, the different playing structure, the weather, your lonely apartment, the lack of friendships, the lack of support.
It had taken a month before you’d crashed and burned, withdrawing yourself from both club and national team. You’d been lower then low, sadder then sad, completely withdrawn from your own life. You wish you’d stayed, you wish that none of it had of happened, because maybe life wouldn’t have turned out the way it had, maybe you’d be happier.
Your Arsenal teammates had visited as often as the schedule permitted, helped you move your whole life from one country to the other, but at the end of the day you were still hundreds of miles away from them.
You’d stopped answering their calls after a few weeks, too consumed with the completely inebriating struggle that you were going through in Paris, trying to stay true to yourself whilst being so far in the deep end of the pool that you were struggling to keep your head above the water.
After the call to Sarina and the call to your manager it had made more sense for you to return to London, even if it had pained you to do so.
Not a month after you’d packed your whole life away against your will, you were packing it all back up.
You didn’t like what happened in Paris, you weren’t proud of it, all you wanted was to get back to your house in St. Albans, but you were also terrified of what your ‘home’ looked like now. It wasn’t the same place it had been for the last 8 years, you didn’t have your bestfriends as teammates more, you didn’t have any teammates, you were unofficially, self-decidedly, retired. Sarina had begged for you to return, tried to reckon with you, but you were done, your love for the game had died in Paris and you had no desire to re-open the wounds that had been torn into your skin in France.
You didn’t tell anyone, you just hoped that you’d be able to avoid everyone for as long as possible, that you’d just be able to slowly become nonexistent and become forgotten by everyone from the past 20 years of your life, but you were aware that life didn’t work that way.
You were sick of all the pain you were going through, all the suffering that you were being forced to endure for no good reason. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, you didn’t feel like you had anybody to talk to about it, it was just you nowadays.
That was how you spent most of your nights, alone.
Alone with a bottle of your posion of choice sitting on your bathroom floor.
It was the only thing that made it all better nowadays, the feeling of alcohol slipping down your throat, typically with a razor blade in your other hand.
There was something satisfying about it all, something perfect about being perfectly intoxicated with a sliver of metal between your finger tips.
On this particular day, you knew you’d drunk to much, but it had all been wrong. You’d woken up with a headache, in your shower, the tiles of your floor stained with your own blood. It wasn’t a uncommon place for you to wake up anymore, but everything about it felt wrong. Your head was aching in a way it never had, your whole body was hurting and for some reason it all just felt off.
You went about your normal routine, pushing the temperature of your shower to as hot as it would go, finding peace in the blistering water falling down across your skin. Once your skin was bright red you’d climb out, falling into your bed to help to sleep off the rift that the hangover had left inside of you. Around midday you would climb out of your bed, slipping out from the covers to enjoy your few hours of life that your days now gave you. Sometimes it would be spent in your kitchen, trying your hardest to piece together some kind of sustenance, other days making and eating food was too hard. On this particular day, you forgoed your kitchen, instead opting to walk straight past it and out onto your patio, as per the usual london weather, it was pouring down, but you didn’t mind too much.
The rain was nice, it reminded you that not everything in life was pretty, your life certainly wasn’t pretty anymore. Rain was a reminder that everyday could be turned upside down just based off of something that was completely out of anybodys control.
After deciding it was a bit too wet to enjoy the outdoors you tracked your way back indoors, your bare feet creasing and digging into the hard, cold wood floors of your home. You eyed off your uncomfortable couch, the one that your manager had found on facebook marketplace which was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture you thought could be bought. It kind of felt like a metaphor for you, you’d been bought, and it had been the worst decision PSG had made, and you were destined, just like the couch, to be thrown away without anybody really knowing or caring.
You walked straight past the couch and back to your bed, there wasn’t any living for you to do today, it just felt that way, so you pulled the covers back over your body and enjoyed the moment of peace that your bed gave you.
It didn’t last long, your body relaxing into the mattress for a few seconds before the restlessness took over. It was like that nowadays, your body never able to stop. You figured it was probably a result of your body going from pushing its limits everyday, mentally and physically to you doing absolutely nothing. Previously, when you’d been in a depressive episode you would sleep all day, no matter what had been happening, but not anymore. Now, you had to drink yourself into oblivion before your body would force itself to relax, you could be as exhausted and tired as you wanted but your body just wouldn’t let you sleep.
Your brain convinced you that your mattress was the lumpiest mattress made, when you really knew you’d hand picked it for it’s comfort. You brain tricked you into feeling like all of your curtains were wide open on a summers day when really they were drawn closed. Your mind was playing tricks on you and you didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.
That’s how you’d ended up on your bathroom floor so early, the overwhelming need for you to fix the pain becoming too much for you. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and your scared silver blade in the other you finally found yourself at peace.
The stomachache and burn of the vodka going down your throat didn’t truly matter, not when you were staring down at the thin criss cross of lines all over your thighs.
Some were healed, some were thick, some were thin, some were sore. They all told a different story. Thighs were the easiest, less arteries, good to hide, disguisable. They didn’t bleed the same way wrists did, they bled slow and painfully, a couple of lines never hurt you.
With the mix of last nights alcohol though and the new vodka mixed with the sight of blood you found yourself feeling woozy.
You hadn’t always been a cutter, self-harm hadn’t always been your vice. It had always been football. From the minute the ball was at your feet it had been football, and you wouldn’t of had it any other way. It had been your everything, football had been your life and until it had been taken from you, you hadn’t understood the true magnitude of what that meant. Your life had no purpose, no substance, nothing, without your game. Football had been the only thing you were good at, and you were extremely good at it. You’d given up on school in pursuit of your footballing career and it had been worth it, up until now.
Now your life was nothing but a big mess.
You wished it had worked out in Paris, you wished that you’d been able to farewell London and make a new home in France, but it hadn’t meant to be. All of your talent, all of your love, all of your passion, it was all for nothing now. Everything you’d ever done amounted to nothing, you were nothing without a pair of boots on your feet and a football in front of you.
You were never going to be the same again, it was all different now, and you were man enough to admit that you missed what you’d had. There were things that you lost in life, in the heartbreak and the struggles, you just hadn’t expected that you would lose the meaning of your life in the process. You had a hard time understanding why it had to happen to you, why you’d been the unlucky one. You paid your dues, you’d woken up at 5am every single morning to run drills, you’d worked your ass of and yet here you were, drunk on your bathroom floor wishing that you were gone.
Once upon a time you’d believed that a person would do anything for the thing that they loved most in the world, but you didn’t believe ion that anymore, love was supposed to be the most powerful thing on earth, and yet it had failed you.
It was funny because you could drink all of the alcohol you wanted but it never made you forget about what you’d lost. The hundreds of memories of football over the years, Arsenal, it had all been Arsenal. You’d been the kind of player where you’d always been one club, from academy all the way through to the senior team, you bled arsenal. Nobody even asked you what your dream team was, because it had always been Arsenal, you hadn’t had eyes for anywhere else. Yet you’d been thrown away like nothing.
You’d loved playing for Arsenal, when you put your jersey on at the beginning of every game you felt ten times stronger, qall of your bestest friends had been at Arsenal, your bridesmaids, your for life friends, and yet now it all felt like you were drifting away.
For the longest time you’d chosen the good options, the healthy options, what was right.
Now though, you chose destruction.
You sleep when your blackout drunk.
You drink caffeine late at night.
You stay awake until your eyes burn.
You always say yes to whatever vice your brain can think of.
You drink water instead of food and vodka instead of water,
You’re isolated beyond the point of it being okay, nowadays you spend more time with yourself then anybody else.
Maybe it was the vodka that made you feel particularly adventurous, or the scent of your own blood seeping across your skin, but whatever it was it somehow inclined you to reach for your phone which was rested on the tiles besides you.
You’d turned your notifications off long ago, as soon as the trade had come through.
You’d ignored everyone’s messages for the sake of preserving your own mental state, you couldn’t deal with the constant back and forth of trying to keep friendships which felt like had already gone.
You were more intoxicated than normal, or that was how you rationalized your behaviour, because there really wasn’t any other explanation to it, unless all of the emotions from the last few months had suddenly hit you a lot harder then normal.
But you were sick of being alone, you knew that, you’d been alone for far too long.
Maybe the alcohol had pushed that to the forefront to your mind, or you’d just become inherently desperate.
Your phone rang, the sound vibrating against the tile floor of the bathroom, amplifying it to your ears, the noise ringing out in your ear canal.
It didn’t take long for the ringing to cease, the sound of silence absorbing around you.
“y/n? Is that you?”
You blinked a few times, swallowing down the final remnants of your last swig of vodka.
“Hey.”
Your voice was shaky, from the days of not saying any words at all, you didn;t have any reason to speak if you were all by yourself.
“Hi.”
The silence stayed thick, obviously neither of you unsure about what to say.
“Are you okay, no ones heard anything from you in a few weeks.”
You’d vanished, for the good of yourself.
“I wish I’d stayed, le.”
Their was a deep breath exhaled from the other side of the line.
“I wish you’d stayed too, y/n.”
You couldn’t think of a single positive that had come from you leaving, not a single one.
“I wish I’d stayed now, I wish I’d been given the chance.”
You could fele the tears building up in the corners of your eyes.
“Me too, y/n.”
The tears were falling, the water falling from your cheeks falling onto the blood on your legs, the two liquids mixing together, the blood turning into red as they two mixed, blood did run thicker than water.
“I wish i’d stayed le, I wish none of this had happened.”
You didn’t want to know what the blonde on the other side of the phone was thinking about at this moment, you weren;t thinking about her, just yourself.
“Hold in there kid, for me, it’s all going to work itself out.”
There was no working it out, this was the end for you.
“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that i wish I hadn’t of stayed, that I don’t spend everyday regretting it, I want it all back.”
You pushed the blade down against your skin again.
Drawing the metal against your skin until the blood had begun to pool at the base of the two or three inch line.
“Where are you kid, are you in Paris? Do you need me to send someone to come and check on you? You shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself, especially not in season.”
There wasn’t a season for you anymore, you were free, you could do whatever you pleased.
“I’m at home, and I’m fine.”
You pulled the blade up, and onto a new patch of skin, it was all littered with past scars, raised white lines.
“You don’t sound fine kid, I have plenty of friends in France, don’t make me get them to come and hunt you down.”
Her voice was an attempt at threatening, but it sounded more worried then anything.
“I’m not in Paris, I left after my contract was annulled.”
Annulled aka we’re letting you go without any pay but you still technically belong to us until the length of your contract is up.
“Annulled?”
You would have thought Sarina would have told the team, but apparently not.
“Haven’t you heard? I’m retired.”
Retired was not a word that you thought should fall from a twenty four year olds mouth, but here you were.
“Retired? Where are you, y/n?”
You supposed the alcohol might have been making your tongue a little bit looser.
“In my house, in my bathroom.”
Another deep exhale, you could just picture the woman pinching the bridge of her nose, maybe even frowning.
“Your house, where?”
You picked up the bottle of alcohol, taking a break from the razor blade to allow the vodka to ease back down your oesophagus.
“St Albans.”
The line went silent for a few seconds.
“You’re back home, since when?”
Another sip of your vodka.
“Couple of weeks, France wasn’t for me.”
France was the end of you.
“How much have you been drinking? You sound awful.”
You didn’t think you sounded that bad, but you also supposed a sober person would have a different perspective.
“Vodka, feels good le.”
Another deep exhale.
“I’m going to come over.”
Rustling on the other side of the phone.
“I’m fine, I’m good, you don’t need to come over.”
You were lying to both yourself and Leah.
“You aren’t fine, you aren’t good, and even if you want to tell yourself you are, I need to see you in real life because for the last months I’ve thought you were as good as dead. Are you safe, y/n?”
You didn’t know how to answer that question, you hadn’t felt safe with yourself in what felt like forever.
“I’m not unsafe.”
More rustling on the other side of the line.
“Do I need to bring somebody with me? Do I need to call an ambulance?”
You thought about it for a few seconds.
“I’m okay Le.”
The alcohol made you feel more okay then you had been, so you supposed it wasn;t fully a lie.
“You’re drunk at 6pm, I don’t think you are fine. I’m going to go get Viv, she knows how to deal with you when you’re spiralling, I’m going to stay on the phone with you and ask you some questions, okay, I’m walking out to my car now.”
You nodded your head, the realized that Leah wasn’t in front of you.
“Answer me honestly, are you safe right now, do you feel safe?”
You didn’t feel unsafe, you kewn by the looks of things, you were in a unsafe position. Alcohol and self harm wasn’t exactly the safest thing, but you felt at peace, and you knew that you weren’t causing any serious bodily harm to yourself.
“Depends on your perspective.”
You heard the sound of car doors.
“Okay, I’ll break it down, hmm? Are you within arms reach of something that could cause harm to you or others?”
Fuck.
“Yes.”
The sound of the phone connecting to bluetooth and keys in a ignition.
“What?”
You bit down on the inside of your cheek.
“Bottle of vodka and a blade.”
It wasn’t hard for you to admit, not when this had been how you’d spent all of your nights the last while.
“What kind of blade?”
You wished you’d stayed, you wished you weren’t in this position.
“Razor.”
You could feel the bile rising in your throat, whether it was alcohol related or from the cosntant questions.
“Alright, I want you to push them both as far away from you as possible, don’t look at them, don’t think about them, think about me. Now, have you caused yourself any harm?”
God, if you’d been able to stay none of this would be happening, none of it.
“Some cuts, le I think I’m going to be sick.”
The tears were full throttle, the sound of somebody’s voice that you’d missed so much in your ears and the vomit bottling itself up in your throat.
“Go to the toilet bowl, let it out.”
The taste of bile in your throat was never going to be something you enjoyed, the feeling of the new cuts along your thighs creasing as you crouched over the bowl stinging in a way that reawakened you.
The vomiting didn’t really stop, the continuous gagging being the only sound in your bathroom, beside the sound of Leah’s car.
Eventually, you finished, all of the clearish liquid mixed with your stomach acid sitting at the bottom of the bowl like a disgusting soup.
You laid down against your tiles, enjoying the cold that covered your skin.
Viv must have been picked up, because you could hear her and Beth talking in the background, beth, happy beth, beth who had once been your bestest friend.
“Bubba, you still with us, we’re just around the corner.”
You let out a groan in aggreance.
They continued to talk to you, allowing you to reply with different huffs and noises as they neared closer and closer to your home.
You ignored the hit of endorphins that you felt melt across you at the sound of your front door unlocking, Leah had kept your key, clearly.
It was a few seconds before your bathroom was crowded by the presence of your past teammates, the three sets of eyes all falling on you.
“Beth, go get a wet handwasher, Leah go get her some water.”
Viv’s voice was soft, but commanding, her body immediately gravitating to your own.
She crouched down beside you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you upwards, bringing you eye to eye with her.
“It’s good to have you back.”
You burst into tears, you’d hated being in St Albans out of fear that you’d be rejected, that you’d be told to go back to France, and yet here you were being welcomed back with open arms.
“I wish I’d stayed vivi, I wish I’d stayed, I wish none of this had happened, I want it all back, I want my life back. I can’t do this life anymore.”
Viv brought you into her arms.
“I know liefje, I know, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to figure it out, but we need to get you safe first, and this isn’t it. You need to be in a better place.”
If Viv had a problem with the way thart you clinged to her clothes, literally holding on for dear life, then she didn’t brign it up.
“You could have called one of us earlier you know, when you were struggling in France. You could have called me, you know I’ve been where you are, I’ve moved and hated every single part of it, we could have helped you before it had gotten this bad.”
You shook your head.
“Nobody could have helped me vivi, nothing could have helped me, I was done, I’m done.”
Viv nodded into you.
“We’ve got to get you cleaned up, and then you’ll go back to Leah’s house, and then we’ll work on fixing this, okay, Kyra’s going to be so happy to know you’re back, she’s missed you, the bloody kid hasn’t shut up about you and she only knew you for a week. Kim’s been contacting everybody, trying to figure out where you were, her little protege, she’s been hardly functioning, we all have been, you can’t just disappear on us like that, you had us all worried sick.”
You furrowed your eyebrows.
“Really?”
Viv let go of you a bit, to get a proper look at you.
“Just because you’re forced to leave doesn’t make you any less Arsenal. You can take the girl out of arsenal but not arsenal out of the girl. No matter where you go, or what you do, you’re always going to be one of us.”
You could feel more tears beginning to form.
“I don’t know how it could have ended how it did vivi.”
You felt the Dutch take a deep breath.
“I don’t know either, but we’ve got you alright, we’ve got you now, we won’t let you leave, your staying with us forever, you took a year off of my life for everyday that you ghosted us.”
You looked down and around you, at the mostly empty vodka bottle, the blood, the scars, it all, and you didn’t know how it had all ended up like this.
“How did it all end vivi?”
Viv looked at you, just as lost as you felt.
“We’re going to figure it out.”
——————————————————————
just thought i’d end this with a little etiquette lesson for any anons xo
if you feel like dropping hate over this in my inbox… don’t.
if you feel like having a go at me for this fic… don’t.
if you feel like making personally rude arguments about me… don’t.
if you feel like having a go at for me for expressing my struggles with writing and sometimes making mistakes… don’t.
just don’t. go touch some grass, go for a run, buy a new fucking vibrator. i can guarantee you will get more pleasure from a good orgasm then dropping aimless hate in my inbox.
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howtofightwrite · 20 hours
Note
Most traditional boxing instructors will tell you that if the opponent is taller than you, has longer arms than you, or is heavier than you, you're fucked and you need to stay extremely aware and work really hard to compensate for all the advantage he has over you.
In a recent forensic survey, it was determined that most traditional boxing instructors who get into real world altercations die when they're shot in the head.
This is the problem with a lot of these kinds of arguments. No one practices traditional boxing. At least, no one does so publicly. How do I know this? Because traditionally boxers fought in the nude. Yeah, we're not seeing that, are we? Now, maybe they meant bare knuckle boxing, but really no one does that either, these days. Boxing without safety equipment is not a particularly good idea, for fairly obvious reasons.
The only reason the word, “traditional,” is in the ask is to lend their statement unearned credibility. It's an attempt to make their statement sound more authoritative, without offering any evidence to support the statement.
Who said that?
“Traditional people did.”
Okay, but, 'traditionally,' people cleaned shit off their ass with a stick. So, maybe appealing to Hellenic sports isn't the best gauge of how a fight will play out.
Also, I know I just said it, but, who are these authoritative sports guys? Because they're not named. We're simply told, “most,” of them agree. Which starts to sound a lot like “four out of five dentists agree.” Who are these instructors? What do they teach? Why are the currently in prison for indecent exposure? And how much did you pay them to get their uninformed opinion? Salient questions which may need to be answered, if the original question wasn't invalid on its face.
Why do I say it's invalid?
Because boxing isn't fighting.
Boxing is a sport.
Boxing has rules.
Kick your opponent in the groin, or shin, and you're punished.
Step on their foot, push them, and watch them tumble to the ground before you start stomping on them, and you'll be punished.
Throwing your opponent will be punished.
And of course, as mentioned at the top, pulling out a gun and expanding your opponent's mental horizons is extremely frowned upon.
These are all things that can happen in a real fight.
These are all things that do not benefit from increased height or reach.
There is one genuinely accurate statement. In a fight, you do need to be very aware of what's going on around you. Everything else is the product of someone who's been punched in the head repeatedly until the CTEs got them thinking that boxing is analogous to a real fight in any way. (And, statistically, will probably end their career sitting in a jail cell over an aggravated assault charge, because their emotional self-control was completely destroyed by those same head injuries.)
The rules that boxers need to follow are designed to (somewhat) protect the participants. It reduces the dangers of a boxer being killed in the ring. In an observation that I would hope to be self-evident, those rules don't exist in actual combat.
It's also amusing, because the original Asker had to go so far as to single out an ill-defined, “traditional” boxing, because no other martial art they checked gave them the soundbite they wanted.
And, of course, women box. Historically, you could say, “traditionally,” there were even boxing matches between men and women. It wasn't until the 1880s that women were excluded from competitive boxing in the UK. (I'm not sure of the exact date when women were banned from boxing in the US, though that prohibition lasted for less than a century, before the modern return of women to the sport.)
So, either these “traditional instructors” don't know the history of their own sport... which doesn't sound particularly “traditional” to me, or they're full of shit.
My advice to everyone would be, maybe, don't take the advice of a sports coach about how he's secretly an absolute badass in all the delusional fantasies he's cooked up about how he'd like to inflict violence on others because they wouldn't date him.
-Starke
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itgetzweird08 · 16 hours
Text
“Damn- already Bakugo? The movie isn’t even over!”
Denki whined, grabbing the remote to pause the comedy that was playing on the tv. It was movie night in the dorms, a way for the class to bond and decompress after classes. Everyone was huddled together, wrapped in blankets and sharing snacks. All accept Bakugo, who scowled at his yellow haired friend.
“It’s my bed time. I’ll see you nerds in the morning.” Denki huffed, crossing his arms as he muttered about Bakugo’s old man behavior. But Kirishima smiled, giving him a short wave and a “sleep well Baku-bro!”. The rest of the class also sent their goodnight wishes as Bakugo headed to his room.
It was only 8:30, which was a bit early even for Bakugo. He usually headed to bed around 9, but tonight was special.
When he got to his room, he locked his door and walked to his mirror, making sure his hair was to his liking and that there was no popcorn in his teeth. When he caught himself fretting over his appearance, he rolled his eyes and scoffed, wiping his sweaty palms on his jogging pants. ‘The fuck am I worried for? It’s just a Skype call’. And while he was right, it was just a call, it was a call with /you/.
You and Bakugo had been dating long distance for the past year and a half.
You met at the I-island convention, where you two got into a friendly competition at one of the challenges. After you managed to beat him at his own game, he recruited Mina to find you on social media. Anyone who could beat him was special..and it didn’t hurt that you were gorgeous to boot. However, his heart sank when he found out that you were actually from America. Still, he decided to follow and dm you anyways..which you promptly answered. The two of you have been talking non stop ever since.
What was just messaging turned into calling, then FaceTiming, to full on movie nights where you would count down to try and start the movie at the same time. And while it was inconvenient, it was fun. He wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Which is why he was always promptly on time for your calls. You had both been busy that week, so you weren’t able to talk as much as you normally did, which is why you scheduled the call. With the time difference, you would be slowly waking up to get ready for school while he was going to bed. He was able to tell you about his day, while he watched you get ready for yours.
The time difference was a hard challenge to navigate, but you made it work. Talking to eachother was the high light of both of your days. You loved seeing his face and hearing his voice, even if it was virtual and he loved the same. You were both very meticulous in nature as well, making sure that your times were aligned to get the most out of your talks as possible. That way, it always felt like enough.
And while it would be nice to hold him, to see his face in person, to kiss him..this was enough for now.
Bakugo hopped into his bed, plugging up his phone before pressing call and waiting for you to answer. And when you did, he was met with sleepy eyes and a warm smile. He could’ve sworn his heart was doing actual backflips.
“Hi Kats..”
“Morning dumbass”
You smiled at him, your heart fluttering at his teasing. And just by seeing your smile he knew, that until he could get to you, this would be enough for him.
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avaf00rd · 13 hours
Text
Behind the scenes
Leah Williamson x reader
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Tiny little blurb I wrote last minute as I rewatched the show
“Hello you” you grinned as you opened the front door, a smiley Leah behind it with her large suitcase and England hoodie on. The Disney plus camera crew behind you. Pretending as if Leah had just gotten home from England camp and you hadn’t seen her yet. Well she had, about an hour ago though.
You grabbed the suitcase from her hand, and pulled her in from her other free wrist, placing a short kiss on her lips and hugging her tight. “How was it?” You asked excitedly whilst you both made your way to your living room.
“Yeah really good, great to see everyone” your girlfriend explained to you leaning against the large book case near your couch. “Plane was quicker than I thought though, only like an hour and a half”
The camera still following both of you “oh yeah wow that’s not bad at all”
“Suppose I had it a bit better than you travel wise” she chuckled, folding her arms now. Nothing to your 20 hours of travel to and from Australia for your own international camp.
“Certainly” you laughed back with Leah.
“Ladies that was actually really great for a first take so we probably won’t need to do that again. We’ll now just get you both on the couch so we can talk to you both” one of the members of the camera said, holding a clip board and directing his crew to your living room
Leah sat down on the shared couch with you following suit behind. Plopping down next to your girlfriend as she put an arm around you, legs intertwined at the end of the couch.
“You guys wanna stay like this for the clips?-“
“Yes” you nodded fast, as people in the room laughed at your certainty.
“Leah can you tell me a bit about y/n. Like how she is as a person but also a teammate?” The same man asked from behind the camera. They would get her answers and these shots for the docu-series.
It be out on Disney plus just months before the World Cup begins, to help Australia get more of an insight into their team and the players
Leah looked down at you, as you shot her a smile before she started “y/n is such a hard worker. I’ve never met anyone like her. Very funny person to have a laugh with…or laugh at” she nodded
You rolled your eyes “saw that coming”
Leah did one of her wide smiles where her cheeks would go so high and her nose would scrunch up which made you melt completely, “so leading onto that she’s a bit clumsy”
“Not all the time” you mumbled
“Everyone at Arsenal calls her the princess though. Because she’s just the sweetheart of the team, who cares about her team so so much and we get to see that every day here in London” you smiled to yourself as you looked down at the couch while Leah spoke about you to the cameras
“Do you just completely hate this?” Leah laughed
“No keep going” you nodded, making her laugh. Leah often got the sense you got all flustered and embarrassed when she spoke about you so well, to other people when you are in the room.
“Y/n what’s it like getting to train each day and play games with your partner?” The producer asked me
“Yeah I’m extremely blessed, I would say, to be able to basically spend every hour of the day with her. And to put on the Arsenal badge and play for our fans with my favourite person is a bit of a win each weekend for me”
“We’re assuming you two meet through Arsenal?” He asked
“Yeah we met at Arsenal when I transferred back in 2019. And then I went on loan to Barca for a season, but then…yeah I came back-“
“And then y/n asked me out!” Leah cut you off with a grin
“Um okay it was kind of you” you looked up at her with a shake of your head.
“Kinda both of us in a way?” Leah shrugged to camera. Which you just shook your head, to said camera.
“They aren’t gonna understand that” you pointed with both arms to the camera, you and Leah now giggling. You both said a few more things they had asked you before the filming stopped.
“Thanks girls! We will see you tomorrow afternoon for more shots, have a great night, hope we didn’t take up too much of your time” a different lady had said now, as she helped her crew pack up some small equipment.
“Not at all!”
————————————————————————
Being one of the few people in your Matilda’s squad who had been apart of the team for over 11 years, you had been in quite a few scenes in the docu-series. Alongside Steph Catley, Sam Kerr, Caitlin Foord, and more. You got the opportunity to talk about your family’s background in the sport and growing up with the Matilda’s, as well as preparations to win the World Cup.
This morning you had done some scenes at the training centre for your club, along with Cait and Steph as you all talked about playing for Arsenal.
The cameras were with you once again, as Now Leah sat on a small picnic blanket in your local park, late afternoon, where you would often bring your dog, Denny, you were trying to get him to run with the ball at his fist like he was about to shoot.
Leah threw her head back laughing hysterically as you fell over your feet once again, tripping on your own dog, in another attempt to get him to play football. “It’s not going to work” she shouted
“He’ll do it Leah just wait!” You shouted back laughing as you kept trying. When you made it back to the picnic blanket, you did what you were asked to do by the crew which was talk about playing each other in the World Cup.
“I always say it but I really really hope both our teams make it to the final, but I don’t think I could handle versing you in a heated game like that”
“You do it all the time though. We’ve had so many heated games against each other”
“Yeah but a World Cup final though…Hopefully one of us will be out by then” Leah shrugged, looking at you from her position on the rug with her knees tucked to her chest
“Hopefully England” you shrugged back
“No I was joking. I hope both teams are” she laughed once again.
“I think the friendly coming up against England just before the World Cup should be good.” You said as Leah nodded “Most players who will be in the World Cup squad should hopefully be in there so we get a full feel of not just the other team but hopefully our own squads”
“Yeah for sure” Leah said
“I can sense you two have a small rivalry in your own house hold” someone’s behind the camera commented
“Mm I don’t know” Leah grinned as you just laughed
“You know it’s true”
———————————
I’m pretty negative about fics like these that I write. Cause I hate this. But honestly it’s due to some of the recent think about my writing my inbox🫠🫠
So please. If you’re not a fan of it, click out of it!
Luv u all
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queer-n-here · 3 days
Note
C..can i be Anon 🍷? Also i have a lil request, chuuya overstim + edging if u can 🙏🙏
Ofc bro! Welcome to my annon fam! (I did add you to the annon fam thingy on my pinned post earlier hehe) But look:
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Same same. So here's the fic.
Also... Who wants a Loki x reader fanfic? Cuz I was watching Thor: Ragnarok yesterday and I have a scenario in my head that I can't get out. Lemme know if y'all want it!
Contents: Edging and overstimming Chuuya
Warnings: Smut, top male reader, biting, mentions of nipple play, edging, dacryphillia, overstimulation, rough sex with gentle after care.
Fuck, Chuuya couldn't take it anymore.
You'd been at it for hours, for fuck's sake. You kept fucking him, over and over and over again, and not removing your hand from the base of his cock, not letting him come.
And even now, holding the back of knees and pushing his legs further apart, you kept going.
Chuuya, his face stained with tears and throat already hoarse, couldn't even think anymore. He just pushed his face into the crook of your neck, sobbing and begging senselessly for the release that you were holding away from him.
"Please, please, please, please, [Name], please..." It became his mantra, begging you so pathetically, even though he could barely form words with that brain of his turned to mush.
"You wanna cum, Chuuya?" You said, teeth gritted against the feeling of him clenching around you so hard it was getting hard to thrust in and out. "You wanna cum so bad?"
He nodded furiously, sweat-soaked hair sticking to his forehead, eyes puffy and red from all that crying. His entire body was covered in hickeys that you'd left him, and his nipples were still swollen and erect.
"Hmm... Should I let you?" You muttered, slamming your hips into his with such brute force that his head hit the headboard.
Chuuya cried out, fingers gripping your shoulders so hard that his nails had long sunk into your skin.
"Go on then," You took pity, finally, finally, and let go of his dick, placing your hands on either side of his head instead to support your weight.
He came from the third thrust, his body jerking and spasming under you as ropes of come shot out of his dick, painting both your abdomens white. He fell back against the bed, arms falling limply on either side as he huffed and panted, bruised chest heaving.
But fuck, you weren't done with him yet.
And by the time Chuuya realised that, he was already crying again from the overstimulation, feeling your dick continue to rearrange his insides, hitting all the spots that were even more sensitive and sore now. He whined, thighs trembling as you wrapped them around your waist before thrusting in again.
A couple rounds of sex later, everything beneath Chuuya's waist was so numb he couldn't hold himself up on his legs for the life of him. You'd ripped orgasm after orgasm from him, up untill he was shooting blanks. You didn't look like you were stopping anytime soon, but Chuuya felt like he would pass out if this went on anymore.
"[Name]," He said, voice hoarse from all the abuse. "[Name], I can't... I can't go on anymore..."
It was too much.
You could tell from his blown out pupils and the way his soft dick faced down that he was right for once. He genuinely couldn't take anymore. So you pulled out, jerking yourself off till you came over Chuuya's already cum-stained thighs, and then lay down beside him.
He was a mess. You took him to the bathroom to clean up, and he fell asleep in your arms inside the bathtub, letting you wash the bodily fluids off of him.
You knew you'd been tougher than usual on him today, so you didn't say anything, cleaning him up gently and pressing chaste kisses into his temple even though he was asleep. After drying him off, you took him to your room and tucked him in in the clean sheets.
"I'll go clean up your room, too, okay baby?" You pressed another soft kiss against Chuuya's forehead, watching him sleep peacefully.
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rrei1 · 1 day
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☆ — 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 you’re sick and you want their presence.
❤︎︎ — 𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗋’𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 next story i’ll add a few more characters to the mix ☝🏽, there gonna be short little drabbles but it’ll be worth it! enjoy the story :).
KATSUKI BAKUGO
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not even a minute in a loud knock was heard on your door, chuckling as you got up. you stumbled a little due to dizziness but you made it to your door pulling down the handle to open it revealing your hot headed boyfriend with a hoodie and your favorite snack in his hand, “awwww kat, you really do care about me.” you teased but he only groaned pushing past you, closing the door behind you. “of course I do idiot. why wouldn’t I?.” he asked giving you his hoodie, shrugging placing the blanket you had covering you on the bed to change into the hoodie, mumbling “ask mina or something.” you mocked hearing him scoff, “so funny.” he was going to come anyways despite how he responded. he liked being an ass, it was funny getting the many reactions from you but you knew it was just him being an asshole. either way he was still going to come because he loves you. even though your like a stick up his ass he still does stuff for you. when you both got settled in the bed, you were quick to wrap your arms around him as he did the same around your waist. “if you cough on me i’ll kill you.” he joked, you groaned heavily rolling your eyes cuddling more into his chest, “whatever you say kat.” you muttered , starting to falling asleep. he knew by the way your breathes were slowing down, soon enough you had fallin asleep. he caressed along your back to give you the comfort you needed, softly smiling. though he hates admitting stuff, he loves being in your arms.
IZUKU MIDORIYA
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It was so fucking hot in your room. the ac and the fan you had blasting in your face wasn’t helping your case the slightest bit, you tried using your wings to fan yourself but despite that nothing wasn’t really helping. you hated summer. you groaned loudly letting your wings spread out as you lazily laid in your bed sniffling, being sick while also suffering from heat was going to make you go crazy. after you sent that text to Izuku, 20 minutes had passed hearing a light knock at your door, not bothering to get up you used a feather from your wing to open the door. Izuku stood there with a bag of your favorite snacks and ice packs, his face softened but chuckled a little. you were spread out like a star fish, when you heard him walk in placing the bags down you looked up, “took you long enough.” you grumbled hearing him hum, bending the ice pack in half letting it get cold. “endevour made us patrol a little longer for our last day, but i’m here now right?.” you groaned rolling over to lay on your back, “I guess so.” you huffed but sighed in relief feeling the cold pack on your forehead, “that feels nice..” he smiled, continuing to hold it to your head as he sat down next to you, “how have you been holding up?.” — “I almost died from suffocation. It’s too damn hot.” you complained, Izuku nodding his head in agreement caressing your hand with his, “I do agree, we had to get new suits by how high the temperature rised.” humming you turned on your side using the hand he held with yours playing with his fingertips, “at least you don’t have to suffer every damn year, but you just being here makes me feel better..so thank you.” he felt you give his hand a squeeze, smiling down at you. he lifted your hand close enough to his lips pecking the back of it, “of course my love, just rest for the day. I’ll be with you the entire time.” and he did what he said. when you fell asleep he stayed with you the entire time, he placed your head on his lap as he kept the ice pack on your forehead making sure you don’t overheat. the whole time he made sure you were comfortable and relieved.
SHOTO TODOROKI
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It took some time but once shoto was done with his dad and the others, you heard a knock at your door. you coughed a little into your sleeve, walking to open the door revealing your boyfriend with a bag of snacks and a hoodie, “you don’t look good.” you rolled your eyes playfully stepping aside to let him in, “gee, thanks shoto totally didn’t know that already.” you sniffled, closing the door, walking back to your bed to sit on it watching as shoto set down the bag on your desk, “are you feeling ok?.” he questioned as he walked up placing his hand on your forehead, it was hot. “now that you’re here yeah..but keep your hand right there..it feels nice.” you leaned more into his hand feeling the coldness radiate off his palm, softly smiling. shoto gave a small grin also, “i’m going to need my hand if you want your snacks.” you pouted slightly but by the sound of your stomach grumbling you nodded your head, feeling his hand leave your head. as the night slowly went by, you both were cuddled up on your bed both watching a movie eating the snacks he had gotten you. his hand wrapped around your waist as you laid comfortably on his chest, the comfort of his warmth mixed with his cold was putting you to sleep. he caressed along your waist intrigued into the movie not even realizing you were dozing off. but when he heard soft snores and breaths hit his collar bone he looked down to see you fell asleep, he softly smiled. you look so cute, despite the sick look, you still look cute. he leaned down to give your forehead a soft kiss before turning off the tv to get you both more into a comfortable position, he laid you on your side as he also laid on his side holding you close to his body. soon, sleep started to take over as well.
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auras-moonstone · 20 hours
Note
Could you write Ethan/Jack going with reader to a basketball/hockey game and getting on the kiss cam?? Hope ur doing well!! 💗
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ kiss you in a crowded room — ethan landry
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ᡣ𐭩 word count: 990
ᡣ𐭩 pairing: hockey player!ethan landry x fem!reader
ᡣ𐭩 summary: ethan sees his best friend’s face on the kiss cam and, filled with jealousy, he rushes to stop it, leading them to confess their hidden feelings.
ᡣ𐭩 contents: fluff. hockey. kissing. public confession. jealousy. best friends to lovers. cheesiness.
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y/n’s legs bounced nervously as she watched the team fighting to gain possession of the puck and failing miserably because the rivals managed to score once again, leaving them 2-1.
“fuck!” she cursed when the intermission started. “i’m going to throw up, i swear”
“calm down, they can still turn it around.” tara tried to be positive, despite being nervous for chad, her boyfriend.
“i just want eth to win this goddamn championship. doing it in his rookie year would be amazing.”
“an ethan fan? he’s great. he played a huge part on the team making it to the playoffs, so his rookie year will still be amazing no matter what.” the guy that sat beside her said.
y/n turned to face him, a proud smile on her face. “i’m his biggest fan actually.” she said, which was true. she was, always had and always will be her best friend’s number one fan. “and you’re right, his rookie year is one of the best. still want him to get the stanley cup tho.”
“you and me both. but your friend is right, we still have 30 minutes to turn it around.”
“keeping my fingers crossed.” she showed him her crossed fingers and he did the same.
“okay, i just gotta say it. do i know you? you seem really familiar but i can’t put my finger on it.”
y/n blushed under his scrutiny. “um, i’m y/n. ethan’s childhood best friend.”
“oh! that’s where i know you from. his instagram. my boyfriend is always stalking his social media, he’s got a big fat crush.” they both chuckled. “it’s nice to meet you.”
“you too!”
ethan, who was watching the scene from a couple of feet away, clenched his jaw. his urge to call security to ask them to not-so-gently scort the stranger—who was shamelessly flirting with his girl—outside was almost uncontrollable.
“you need to calm down.” chad said. “they’re just talking.”
“they’re laughing, chad. he’s making her laugh at my game.” ethan growled.
“okay. you’re actually growling, you’ve gone ins- oh dear god.” chad’s panicked voice made him unglue his eyes from the stands. his friend was looking up at something, and ethan raised his head to see what made him act that way.
there, on the screen of the arena, were the shocked faces of y/n and the stranger. the letters on top read ‘kiss cam’.
“um, how do we get out of this?” y/n asked.
he took a deep breath “we can just say no, right? it’s not like they’re going to force us.”
y/n nodded which ethan completely mistook it for her giving consent, and he just saw red. before chad could stop him, he skated towards the stans and hit the glass that separated the seats and the rink with force, startling his best friend and the guy, who were both sitting in the first row.
“um, hi?” y/n asked, confused by ethan’s pissed off face.
“don’t you fucking kiss him.” he said with a frown on his face and glaring at the guy, who quickly raised his hands and yelled “i have a boyfriend!” with a voice so terrified and high that y/n had to bite her lip to not laugh.
the hockey player’s demeanour changed from angry to embarassed “oh… i saw you talk… and you nodded- i thought—“
“—that i was going to kiss him in front of the whole arena.” she finished his sentence. “yeah, i got that. what’s got you so furious, though? you almost scared my new friend to death.”
“well, i- i wasn’t sure you’d be okay kissing a stranger.” he chuckled nervously.
“you thought i was consenting when i nodded, so try again. why were you so pissed, landry? no bullshit.” y/n crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“because i don’t want you kissing someone else.” he admitted, not daring to look her in the eye.
her face softened. “well, i don’t want to kiss anyone but you, so…” she confessed in return.
warmth spread through his cheeks and the nervousness faded when he met her smiling face. “please stand in that fucking chair so i can do what i’ve been wanting for a long long time.”
her body bent over the pixie glass and ethan didn’t have to rise his head too much to meet her lips. the crowd’s cheers were drown by the thundering of their own hearts. y/n’s hands were shaking as she caressed his cheeks once they had to pull apart because of the awkward position.
“now, rookie, you gotta turn this game around, okay?” she kissed his nose before climbing off the seat. “i have faith in you.”
“i’m not stopping until i lift that stanley cup.” he did the soldier motion with his hand, making her laugh. “to have the girl and the cup sounds like a dream, doesn’t it?”
“okay, lover boy, that was quite a half time show.” chad arrived to his side. he looked at the boy sitting next to y/n and frowned. “jesus, you look kinda pale.”
“for a moment i saw my life flashing before my eyes. i thought he was going to kill me.” he answered, stumbling over some words.
“eth? he’s only tough on the ice. outside? he’s a huge teddy bear.” y/n smiled lovingly at her now boyfriend.
the hockey player let out a dramatic gasp “shh, babe. my reputation!”
y/n rolled her eyes. “you’re a dork.”
“but i’m your dork.”
the girl gaged. “get out of my sight.” she waved with her hand, acting disgusted by his cheesiness.
“i love you, too.” he winked before skating away.
y/n sat down with a content smile on her face. she couldn’t believe that just actually happened. she’s spent years and years pining after him and thinking they would never be more than friends, and now ethan was there, after having confessed his feelings in front of a whole arena, dedicating his goals to her.
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locked in an open room, stuck with a closed conversation | j.fleming x reader
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prompt: you and jessie are lost in the woods on a school trip. stressed and under pressure, feelings come out.
author notes: this is inspired from a scene in one of my favorite shows, big girls don't cry. it's a great show go watch it if you want. anyways, this is an experimental writing for me. just trying things out. hopefully y'all like it!
contains: teenage!jessie x reader, angst until the last minute, they're dating or not? we'll see, homoerotic typical teenage girls situationship, "i wish you were a boy"
playing normal girl by sza 🎵
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stay in pairs, they said. then you won't get lost, they said. which that was actual bullshit because jessie and you are lost in the woods right now. with no sense of direction at all. why would you tag along with the girl who probably couldn't tell her left from her right? oh yeah, you remember why.
because this girl with no sense of direction has been avoiding you for the last two months of highschool and you are tired of that. thinking that if you two have to be together for a few hours while on this week long end of the year trip that she would finally talk to you. not even having to be a conversation, but more then a few words in class about work.
"i think maybe we should stop walking for now," jessie says softly. she's a few steps ahead of you. her back is facing you, but you can tell she has a frustrated expression on that freckled face of hers. jessie didn't like lacking control in pretty much any situation. everybody thinks she's laidback, but you knew different. you know how angry she gets when soccer games don't go her way. how she cries after seeing a bad grade. the way she makes sure that everyone thinks of the word chill when it comes to her reputation.
that sense of needing control is really the basis for why you two are in this predicament right now but jessie would never admit it.
"nah. i think we should keep going or even try to turn back like i said earlier," you stare at her back. still she isn't facing you. your words come out sharper then they should, but can you really care right now when the sun is about to set and you have been walking for nearly two hours at this point and everything looks the same in every direction.
no, you don't have it in you to care.
jessie turns to face her finally but keeps her distance. like she's been doing for the past two months; always two steps ahead of you, too far away to reach because she would pull back if you tried.
"why do you think that? we are already lost. moving would just make it worse," she reasons with her usual logic that you would agree with it if it came from anyone else right now but your eyes are focused on the sun that is nearly set in the sky behind jessie and how her voice is way too nonchalant for the situation right now that you let your emotions control all your actions.
you shake your head in disagreement. jessie frowns at that. did you not take her words seriously?
"i told you that we should turn back nearly a whole hour ago and you thought you knew better," you let your frustration funnel into your words. jessie scoffs, ready to defend herself. when she scoffs you feel the strong urge to scoff as well because what rights does she have to be as frustrated as you?
ration and logic are not working in your mind right now.
"because we were walking around in a fucking circle, so i was trying to find i don't know like a river or something to follow. instead of going the back into that circle," she snaps back. the stress of the situation is starting to get to her. why would she agree to partner with you? was she out of her mind? were you of yours?
you snap back just as quick, "yeah because you aren't able to tell directions apart if your life depended on it. which it actually does right now and i wish you would stuff your pride up your ass so we can get somewhere."
"to get where? no, go ahead, tell me! we're stuck in the woods and everything looks the same and you think that you can just figure it out? you aren't a genius, y/n!" jessie shouts. not caring for her volume because who would even hear?
you let out a loud laugh at her words. oh, so the only conversation she can have with you is an argument. okay, that's fine. you'll give her that.
"i never said i was a genius. what do you expect me to do? maybe if you knew how to communicate, we wouldn't be here," you say to her, "you knew we were lost a while ago and didn't say a thing! then when i realized it, you got all pissy at me!"
"oh whatever. you can never pick up on what's happening unless it's fed to you?" she argues back.
"ever think maybe i followed you blindly into these woods because i trusted you?"
was the argument even about being lost anymore? was it ever about that?
"well, maybe you should learn to trust yourself more and listen to your intuition instead of relying on me," jessie says, not shouts. still the tension is laying there in between you two. she's still so far away from you, a few steps ahead. almost leaning against a tree but she's just stubbornly holding herself at that one spot really.
you nod your head. she wants you to trust yourself? you don't know why you didn't realize you guys were lost earlier, but you know why you partner up with her; you need answers. she wants you to listen to your intuition? okay.
"hm, okay. thanks for the advice. i have some of my own. how about not ignoring your girlfriend for two months straight," you say. a flash of surprise shows itself on jessie's face. she wasn't expecting that but she should have known you would bring that up eventually.
"my girlfriend? who said we were girlfriends?" the words don't even sound right coming out of jessie's mouth. she knows they're a lie. you're girlfriends but that doesn't mean she has to confirm it right now. out in the open where anyone could hear. even though nobody is around.
you want to laugh at her denial. who was she fooling? because there wasn't any audience there. just you and her. she couldn't lie to you so she was definitely lying to herself.
"that kiss we shared after practice underneath the bleachers or maybe the kiss we had on your birthday or the fact we spend, no use to spend, all our time together for nearly two years. your mom suspected something one time and now we aren't girlfriends anymore?" you say. jessie knows you have a point but she can't help to feel angry. you just don't get it.
"what did you expect? i couldn't let my mom figure anything out. i can't be seen like that with you!"
"and why is that?" you already knew the answer, but you want to hear it from jessie. even though it will hurt.
"because you aren't a boy!" she shouts but her voice drops into a lower volume when she speaks next, "and you knew that when you started to date me that nobody could know.. because you aren't a boy. sometimes i wish you were one."
okay. that really fucking hurts.
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author notes: this is so messy and quick paced but i sorta like it. that's the literal ending, nothing else. i tried to use a few double meanings but idk if they landed. hopefully you guys liked my experiment.
© THINKINGABOUTJAEDYN
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44st4rs · 18 hours
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YOU GOTTA DRESS THE PART!
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✫ ˚♡ ⋆。 ❀ synopsis: Your new boy toy made himself at home with just the clothes on his back. When asked where all his stuff's gone, all Toji can do is point to the same clothes he appeared to you with. If he's gonna play the role, might as well spoil him too!
✫ ˚♡ ⋆。 ❀ pairings: widow!fem!reader x toji fushiguro
✫ ˚♡ ⋆。 ❀ cw: 10k + words, pwp, dubcon, talks/mentions of death, use of petnames, use of an oc, vouyerism, exhibitionism, mirror sex, couch sex, oral(m. receiving), cûm eating, reader gets a little shy, fingering, clït slapping, brat tamer!toji, unprotected sex, panty stealing 
✫ ˚♡ ⋆。 ❀ words from chris: part two is here and i don't know how it got...longer! oh well, it's nasty...and that's exactly how i love my fics to be, xoxo!
part 1! • the man for hire m.list
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ONE NEW MESSAGE FROM: XXX-XXX-XXXX
PAYMENT: + ¥ 40,000
Forty thousand yen stare Toji back in his awe-struck face. His thumb's back to swiping again, refreshing the screen as if he's expecting the amount to disappear magically.
But they're not, the five bolded digits simply return each time he dismisses them. 
So he blinks. His eyebrow arches, his eyes squint, and he blinks at his phone blankly until something like a smile crosses Toji's features. In a single night, Toji finds himself dancing in Lady Luck's palm. He's got a roof over his head, a nice gig, and a pretty lady at his side—and all he really asked for was a few bucks for food.
He wants to mull over the second thoughts that arise—what if it's just a dream? What if it's too good to be true? 
But the numbers on his phone don't lie and the wafting heat of the skillet he's working over isn't a dream. 
"She didn't even tell me what she wanted..." Toji mutters as he places his phone down on the granite countertop. He teases the browning edges of the omelette with the spatula he kept in hand.
He doesn't usually take people's requests to heart, but for you—something about you makes him hang up his old ways. It's not like you were kind about it, demanding breakfast right before dozing off in his arms.
When he woke up a few hours earlier, Toji faced your sleeping form. He remembers how he captured you under his fawning gaze. He drank in the shallow breaths flooding your lungs, the supple pout pushed out onto your lips, and the way you wore sleep perfectly.
He didn't know how he ended up cradling you in his arms, but for some reason, Toji was willing to ignore the thought in place of the reality before him. You got comfortable with him fast—or just the presence of having someone else in bed with you once again.
That's when he remembers the notion sweeping over to leave your side with a kiss. A tender peck right on the corner of your mouth to let you know someway and somehow that he wasn't going too far. 
Even after hours have passed and daylight's entered the room, he still can't put together why he did that—but regret isn't one of those sentiments. 
But now he's here, dressed in nothing but the jeans he came to you with cooking you that desired breakfast. Between each flip of the omelette, Toji's eyes scan about your kitchen—gawking at how every countertop is a thick chiseled slab of red granite, gold accents for the handles of all the drawers, cabinets, and the refrigerator. 
A vast island stands right underneath yet another chandelier, catching the peeking rays of sun from the windows. Barstools outline the outer wall along the kitchen's rim, making it the perfect penthouse kitchen.
When he first stumbled into your kitchen, he could only stare. And he still is, but the shock ebbs away with each dish he turns his attention to. 
He's ending his working shift with the final plate for breakfast, the small salad joining the ranks of miso soup, steamed rice and rolled omlettes. While Toji's hoping you eat it all, he can't help but entertain the thought of how trusting you are of him.
Maybe it's because of his background and the world he hails from, but to ask a stranger to cook breakfast? What if he's malicious enough to poison you and rob you right in front of your dying eyes? Nothing's stopping him either, but he has his reasons. And then again, he's the one who initiated the verbal contract out of thin air.
You two were made for each other. 
The soft creaks of bed springs pull Toji out of his mind and his eyes down the hallway again, piquing his attention. 
He's graced by the sight of you, clutching that damned robe as you saunter down the hallway. The lazy steps of your stroll lead you beneath the sun's rays, kissing your skin with its gentle glow.   
"Good...morning..." he fumbles over, his blown hues fixed on you. 
You catch Toji's gawking stare, a grin teetering on your lips.
"G'morning, Toji. Thank you for cooking," you hum, slipping into a barstool across from Toji's workstation. 
"You look real pretty this morning, Princess," Toji purrs as a dopey smile grows across his lips. 
"You keep calling me that...why?" you quiz, stretching your arms along the smooth countertop.
"Cause...you're basically living in a castle—hm, more like a tower. And it looks like a castle in here. Feel like Princess is the only thing that comes to mind whenever I look at you."
You lean into Toji's ardor, cradling your chin within your soft palm."That would make you my knight in shining armor, no?"
Toji snickers as he looks down, his hand coming to rub the hairs at the back of his neck. "No, I'm just some guy trying to make a living. Thanks for the honor though, I'll do my best."
Your eyes roam over Toji and the display of his bare chest. It's a broad canvas of muscle, stretched beneath skin, scars, and the ripples of veins. Maybe there's another plus in this little arrangement if you get to wake up to this view every morning. You shamelessly let yourself wander over him, tracing each crest of his abs and the faint streak of hair beneath his navel.
Until you find yourself clinging to a familiar sight. 
"Toji," you begin, "Isn't it uncomfortable to wear jeans this early?"
"Eh, it's whatever. Don't got nothing else."
"Nothing else? What do you mean?"
Toji leans over the counter, his features softening as he closes the distance between you both. He could laugh at your naïveté, but he knows you understand him—he didn't stutter. But he'll give in just to watch your face fix itself into some new cute expression, shocked by the state you found him in. 
"What you met me in is all I got. 'Cept for the extra brush I found in your bathroom. By the way, who keeps sex toys under the sink?"
A look of utter shock breaks across your face—your eyes shot apart and your jaw slack. "No wonder there was a new brush next to mine! You went through my stuff?!"
Again Toji feigns innocence, hands waving defensively. "Calm down! I like to keep clean. I didn't mean to but I didn't wanna wake you up when I have common sense. Took a shower, brushed my teeth, and now here we are."
"Toji...fine. But after we eat, we're going out."
"Where are we going?" He asks, reaching for two plates from the nearest cabinet. 
"Ginza, we gotta get you some clothes, some shoes...eh, guess a little bit of everything."
"Ginza? Isn't there some malls 'round here we could go to instead?"
"Course there is, but I'm taking you to a place I know...personally."
"You're really spoiling me now. Turning into a sugar mommy—Oh! Should I just call you—"
"Keep talking and it's coming out of your paycheck."
Toji brings two plates with him as he settles into a stool beside you, placing the fragile dish in front of you. It's a collection of his labors–a small bowl of miso soup, rolled omelet slices, white rice, and a side salad made of tomato and cucumbers. 
Toji shoots you one last smirk before turning into his own meal, "Hope you like it."
"Wow," you marvel, grinning at the colorful display, "I haven't eaten like this in a while."
"Huh? You've got all these ingredients and the space to cook. If you don't do that, then what do you eat?"
"Just some fruit, tea, some sandwiches. I rarely cook for myself these days, but it's getting better."
"Hm, is that right?"
Toji places an outstretched digit beneath the contours of your chin, tilting your head towards him. He's giving you a soft stare, his blue hues fanning over your stuffed cheeks. 
"Don't worry about it. Way back when, I used to cook a lot, so I remember some recipes. But 'm not doing it alone, deal?"
You nod at Toji as he swipes along the plump curves of your visage, " 'Kay."
For a man you just hired, he's too kind to you. Since last night, he's been nothing but careful with you. He acts as if he's handling something so precious
"Toji, why are you so nice to me?" You ask between a bite of the fluffy steamed rice.
"Dunno," he shrugs, "This is the only way I know how to treat women. My last wives brought this side out of me. And as for you, it just feels natural. Why...want me to be an asshole to you?"
"No...it was just a thought," you mumble softly. 
Then again, that's a passive answer Toji put together on the spot. How could he tell you about the sadness that lingers behind your eyes?  It's not apparent to most, but there's a dark haze that blends itself into the color of the iris., dimming the soul's light beneath grief. Toji knows those eyes better than anyone else, especially when he himself dons the same look from time to time. 
You cover it up behind a snarky attitude, but he knows that's not who you really are. Something tells him you're actually the complete opposite—a free-spirited soul who makes her own rules in life, a woman who leads with passion before anything else. Someone who opens up as they get comfortable, something he's noticing rather quickly. 
And a woman just met one of the world's seven wonders too soon. He even said it to himself as he watched you snuggle up against his chest last night; for however long he ended up staying with you, he wanted to get to know you...the real you. 
He can't stop thinking about it, how your bodies fell prey to one another within minutes last night. Your body fitting perfectly in his hands, responding to his every beck and call. Even now he's staring at your lips, swearing that just one more kiss could heal him from the inside out. 
That's not something he's experienced before, even with his tattered love history. A whim brought him to your doorstep and this whim is what's leading you both down some new path together. 
So if he had to wake up to make breakfast, accompany you on some one-sided outings, and give in to your fancies to see the real you, he'd do it all. 
With his last bite, Toji places his chopsticks onto his clear plate. He glances over to you, your plate mirroring his own. 
"C'mon," he announces as he stands from his seat. " We gotta get going, right?" I'll clean up here, go shower. Oh and Princess?"
"Yeah?" 
Toji catches your eye with a stern squint. "Don't. Take. Long. Twenty minutes. Two. Zero."
"Fine," you scoff, standing on the tile floor at last. 
Toji watches as you walk off, your hips bearing a salacious sway with each step. 
"Fucking minx," he mumbles to himself as he tends to the cleaning.
Twenty minutes later, Toji strolls over to the couch with a much-needed break on his mind. He grabs his shirt from the couch, slipping the gray top over his shoulder and down his chest before settling into the couch's plush chocolate leather. He's back on his phone, scrolling endlessly through his emails and past texts to pass what seems to be an eternity. His eyes fall onto the time displayed on his screen: 11:24. 
You're four minutes over the limit. Should he knock on the door? What if he finds you naked? Now that he thinks about it,  that wouldn't bother him much, but his point still stands. 
"Y/N! It's not twenty minutes anymore! Hurry up pl-"
"...Toji! I'm ready," you call out, breaking him out of his thoughts. 
The soft clicks echoing along the floor breaks Toji's train of thought. As he sits up, his eyes fall on you wearing a sage-green silk dress with a pair of strappy white heels. Your handbag matches your shoes, a detail that Toji finds himself appreciating with a mindless grin. 
He stands to greet you, sheepishly slipping his hands into his pockets, "Wow, got me feeling a little underdressed now."
You meet Toji's gaze, arching an eyebrow at his words. "Well, don't. If you're gonna be living with me, we've gotta have you dressed the part. But I mean...if you want that. I'm not trying to force you or anything, I just have a feeling that you might want some options."
Toji joins your side, his hand eagerly resting along your lower back. He's wearing a dumb smirk on his face, watching you click the elevator doors open. 
"Aww, trying to be considerate, aren't you?"
"Shut up. Let's get going."
Toji follows behind you, stepping into the small chamber. The scene of the living room closes out before him and he's left with you to muse over. You and that pretty outfit that he's obsessing over. His hand has yet to move from you, not that he has the intention to. He doesn't care if it's shameless or outright wrong, Toji just can't help but stare at you. It's barely been a full day and just your beauty has Toji willingly tied around your finger. 
You could ask anything of him and he'd be ready to oblige. In truth, he's brimming with half the nerve to tug that dress up your waist and take you on right here and now. But that's too brash and he knows that. Instead, he's hoping you'll leave him something for the chase of imagination.
"Y/N? Look at me for a sec," Toji hums as his fingers tap against the fabric of your dress. 
At Toji's demand, your eyes trace up to his own, the azure hues blown wide. The hand he keeps at your back takes on a new path, sinking along the contour of your hip. He's pulling you dangerously close, the fading scent of the cologne on his shirt filling your nose. You aren't even aware of how quickly you give into his advance, your hand sinking into the shielded profile of his chest. 
"Give me a kiss."
"...No."
"Why not?" 
"Because," you shrug, "I said so."
Toji's pout is a cute one. His bottom lip bears all the jutting weight, his eyes widen with each mindless blink, and the huff that breaks into the air almost makes you want to take back your cold response. It takes all of your strength from laughing at his ebbing resolve, your teeth biting down at the innards of your cheeks.
"Because...you said so?" Toji repeats as he points a finger towards you. 
"Yup. 'Cause I said so."
The soft ding of the opening elevator doors pulls you and Toji from the growing heat of the conversation, revealing the building's lobby. 
The softly dimmed space draws you and Toji out of the elevator. You've seen it a million times but it's a sight that claims you with ease. The lobby relies on the power of natural lighting, but with its ambient lighting, it's nothing short of welcoming. The polished cream walls wear tile and the green vines of outgrown plants. The only piece of furniture to exist on the waxy hardwood floor is the front desk, occupied by a certain someone.
"Oh, good morning, Y/N! Out for the day?" a voice greets, earning you and Toji to find the source. 
The voice stems from the doorman, Daisuke. He's sixty-five, tall with a softened physique of muscle. Only a handful of wrinkles line his fair skin—the typical crow's feet and smile lines. His eyes are of a deep chocolate, but so soft on whoever they land on. His salt and pepper hair stops just shy of his ears, barely hiding his array of piercings. 
Daisuke always works the day shift, with his younger counterpart claiming the night. From conversations you've had over the years, Daisuke was a delinquent back in his younger days but mellowed out once he settled down with his current wife. 
You and Toji find yourselves journeying toward Daisuke, you both resting along the rim of the shiny wooden surface.
Daisuke sets his attention on you, smiling as he awaits a response. 
"Yup! Going down to Ami's for the day!" your words paired with a grin. 
"Good, Good...good..." Daisuke trails off. His sights fall over Toji, scanning every bit of Toji's face. Daisuke's sights fall over Toji, his brown hues narrowing down over Toji.
His disapproval is sketched out with a frown, his upper lip arched with disgust. Daisuke isn't one to hide his opinion, especially towards the man trying to court you. He simply stares at Toji until he's ready to speak, his tone honoring his distaste. 
"Who might this be, Miss?"
"Oh! Um...this is Toji...he's uh—"
"An old friend," Toji quickly interrupts. "I'm always traveling for work and finally caught a long enough break to visit Y/N."
"E-Exactly! An old friend..." you nervously fumble out, attaching a weary smile to settle your case.
"Mhm...well, I'm not gonna stop you any longer. Have fun you two!" Daisuke sensing your unease. He waves goodbye to you and Toji as you both walk away towards the doors. 
Your digits reach for the golden handle of the door, only for Toji to take the lead. With a heavy push, he opens the door for you to pass. But he's waiting for you to get close, so close that he's right behind you, pressing his chest flush against your back.
He leans in, the heat of his breath brushing past the shell of your ear. "Allow me...friend."
You peer back at Toji, rolling your eyes at his comment. "You called yourself my friend, don't get mad at me...friend."
"Fine, what were you going to call me then?"
The question plagues you into a moment of silence, an audible gasp escaping from your lips. All you can do is blink at him, your fluffy lashes batting themselves until you can finally utter something back to Toji's waiting ears. 
"You...you talk too much. Let's just get down to Ginza, alright?"
"Yeah, alright," he sighs, walking beside you once more. 
But there's some truth between the lines of Toji's sassy remarks. 
Despite Toji's hand slipping into your own as you begin your trek, you can't bring yourself to deny him. His presence carries an ease that calms your heart. It's so calming that you can't begin to pinpoint what he is to you. A stranger? To an extent, but in time that title is going to fade away. If he's a friend, then he shouldn't be this kind with you. A lover, no, but the tendencies aren't so far off. 
So....who is Toji Fushiguro to you?
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
A six-minute train ride and an additional ten-minute walk carry you and Toji face to face with a small building at the end of the block. To the unfamiliar eye,  nothing about the store stands out. Not the white brick, not the pink awning, not the vintage door with a grand gold door knob.
And with an unfamiliar eye like the one Toji has, he's scanning over the building. You've brought him to a tailor but that's the opposite of what he needs. He quickly glances over his appearance, there wasn't a hole that he could spot but maybe you have better eyes than he did. He's confused but that doesn't stop him from opening the door for you.
"A tailor? My clothes don't need fixing, Princess," Toji notes as he reaches for the door handle.
"I know, Toji. We're getting you custom-made clothes, silly," you giggle, slipping past the opened door. 
The soft scent of clean linen pulls you inside the quaint shop, Toji coming to stand by your side. Your eyes rave about the open floor, not a clothing rack, display table, or mannequin is in sight. Thick palettes of cloth hang from the wall, replacing the initial white-painted walls in splashes of color. 
There's cotton, silk, wool, chiffon, and denim just from what you can name. A few doors line the right wall, and the kanji for fitting rooms are inscribed into the wood.  Your eyes fall onto another door, placed alone and along the furthest wall of the shop labeled with a name that's too far to read. 
Roaming steps lead you deeper inside, the presence of the service desk landing in view. Your curious gaze hinges on the figure of a woman. She's busied herself with something in a notebook, her pen furiously translating her thoughts. Long thick locks of gray shroud her face as she's bent over along the desk's surface, but with the smile stretching across your face, you knew who the woman was all too well.  
"Ami!" you squeal, waltzing towards her with open arms. 
Ami breaks away from her work to meet you, her cheeks pulled taunt by a full-bodied smile. As she steps away from the counter, you glance over Ami giddily. From the last time you visited her, she hasn't changed. 
She dons a veil of gray with grace these days, not a  strand of her rich black hair left. She's still wearing that soft expression—her doe eyes wide and brown, her brows eased and plucked thin, her skin fair and gentle, and her lips wear a forever smile. 
"Oh, my sweet Y/N!" Ami beams as she pulls you into her arms, the sleeves of her blue sweater pushing along your skin.
"You're glowing, my dear. And you're wearing the dress, it looks so—well, who might this be?" She cuts off, directing her sights to Toji.
You step back from Ami to join Toji's side, giving him a kind yet warning stare. You can't control what he's planning to say, but from what you've gathered so far, he's a blunt man. A blunt man who calls the situation exactly how he sees fit—without shame. 
"Hi, I'm Toji," he waves. " Y/N here is my mistr—"
"Friend! He's going to say friend!" You blurt out, welcoming an awkward silence. 
You don't have to look at Toji, the heat of a grim squint tells you everything you need to know. You're back to using that damned word, but what else fits? As much as you want to calm him, selling this story to someone as keen as Ami is taking all your focus and energy not to crack beneath the pressure.
Your heart's running on nervous fumes, an echoing pang clogging your ears. All you can do is suffer beneath Ami's careful observation, her big brown doe eyes thinning into a stern squint. She's standing there with her arms folded to her chest, darting her sights from you and Toji. 
You're wearing a smile but it's a shaky one, the corners of your mouth quivering with each passing second. You don't know what sort of smile she sees and that's the fact that scares you. You can't tell if she's buying it, but she isn't prying at you for an honest reply. 
"Well...it's nice to meet you, Toji! So, what can I do for my favorite customer?"
A sigh of relief pours from your chest, as you lean into Toji's hold, your head resting against his shoulder. His hand quickly laces around your waist, instantly ruining all of your hard work. 
So much for being a friend. 
"It's him, I wanna get him some custom clothing. Whatever he wants."
"Great! Then I'll leave the hard work to you! Do you mind measuring him?"
"Measure me? Isn't a large enough for me?" Toji asks, turning to you with knitted brows.
"Well, yes a large is enough for you, but it doesn't complement you. Here, I'll show you."
Taking his hand into your own, you lead Toji before a mirror, the glass pane slotted between two fitting room doors. In the reflection, you stand beside Toji, your hand running along the front of his shirt.
"Your proportions aren't something an average man like you has, which means that there's always gonna be spots where there's too much or too little fabric. Like here..."
The tips of your fingers pinch at the hem of Toji's gray thermal, tugging at the loose fabric surrounding his waist. "You've got a small waist but wide shoulders. This shirt looks decent on you, but it's literally just sitting on your body. Let's see if a top made with a bit more for your shape works better."
"Oh, I don't care about that," Toji begins, his stare falling onto you. "As long as I got something on my body. But since you're going out your way for me...I'll try anything once."
You give Toji a faint smirk, his charm's enough to make any woman fall for him. 
"Ami," you announced. "We'll be in the fitting room. I'll be done with his measurements in a bit!" 
You guide Toji to the lone door at the back of the shop, your hand reaching for the sliver handle–until Toji catches a particular detail. 
"Huh...who's name is that on the door?" 
"Oh, that's mine. It's a private fitting room made just for my late husband and I," your digits tracing the engraved characters.
"How'd you land that—"
"Oh, Toji!" Ami calls out before you both disappear into the room. "Do you have any fabric preferences? I wanna pick some out while I wait for the measurement."
"Nope, just use your judgment, ma'am," his words inducing a smile along Ami's features.
"Great! There's measuring tape in the room already. So go get measured and I'll pick out some colors and fabric for you!"
You give Ami a nod before sinking past the doorframe with Toji. The door opens up into a dimly lit circular room, welcoming you back with the soft scent of vanilla.
"Just how we left it..."you whisper to yourself, looking around the room. 
It's not a huge room, but it's comfortable for two people. Panes of glass line the walls, looping around the curved walls. In the center of the room stands a toffee leather divan bolted to the ground, accompanied by a small glass table with magazines, a candle, and a roll of measuring tape. 
"Wow...so this is all yours?" Toji gawks as he strolls around the room. Everywhere he turns, his reflection is everywhere—along with your own. He's stuck on studying your agile steps to the small coffee table, taking the measuring tape in hand. You're twirling it in the palm of your hand as a smile crowds your visage. 
"Yeah. Years back, my husband and I were in the neighborhood and came across this place. At the time we needed some clothes for an event coming up and Ami was willing to make them just for us. When we got the order and saw how nicely they fit us, we were sold. My husband and I invested in this place and had it renovated. As a gift, Ami wanted us to build a room just for us and that's exactly what we're standing in."
"So...long ago," you muse. The memory isn't that old but it feels like an eternity has passed since that fateful day. The room that was made as a gift was merely nothing more than a memoir of memories made with you and your late husband. 
Until your drifting sights latch on to Toji. He's standing a few feet from you with his hands in his pockets. His head's fallen into a tilt, concern weaving into his features.
"Never mind that, it's in the past now. Ami also works with socialites, doctors, lawyers, governors, anyone really," you brush off swiftly, spinning around to face Toji. 
"Mhm..." he mumbles. "So what do you need from me?"
"Could you take your shirt off and stand in front of me? And just relax."
Your instructions are followed down to the letter, Toji presenting himself before you. He tugs his shirt over his head and tosses it onto the divan's cushion. He keeps his arms at his sides, waiting for your next instructions. 
"Good...now just let me..." you mutter, pressing the white strip of leather to Toji's skin.
Silence falls over the room, but the tension between you and Toji grows with no bounds. You're gentle when you touch him, placing the marked leather along the curves of Toji's body—his broad shoulders, thick biceps, and sculpted forearms. You save his chest for last, carefully placing the measuring tape along the hull of his rippling pecs.
All Toji can do is watch you hard at work. He's picked up on a quirk of yours, how you bite your lip whenever you're focused. He's touched honestly with how much effort you're putting into him, all this effort put for him. 
"I still need an answer, y'know." Your words pulling Toji from his thoughts.
"For?" 
You roll the tape back into a small ball, finally setting your attention on Toji. You stare at him with kind eyes, letting your touch explain all he needs to know. The pads of your digits trace the burly hull of his chest, languidly following the rigid print of his faded scars. 
"These. How'd you end up with 'em?"
A chuckle rings from his lungs, Toji's chest rippling beneath your wandering touch. He's looking at you, his stare flickering at every inch of your face. Underneath his dim lighting, he's intrigued by the glow behind your eyes. It's a blur of curiosity with the hues of tease. It's a deadly mix—the same deadly mix that rushes through Toji's veins every single day.
"Would you believe me if I said I'm not the best guy? I get into fights for a living and these are simply my reminders of what I do."
"That's fine."
You're...unfazed. He has to blink a few times to register it all—but you simply present him with the same look. He just told you he's no good. Maybe it's too subtle of a warning.
So...He tries again. 
"And what if I said my hands are dirty? I'm a selfish man who only lives for himself and the money I make. What would you say about that?"
"That's fine, too."
"God, you're so—"
"Stupid? Crazy?" you interrupt. "If you wanted to hurt me, I gave you all the chances to...and I'm still here. Paint yourself to be the bad guy if you want, try to scare me away...but I don't care. We have a deal remember? And breaking a deal is just bad business."
A smirk cracks along Toji's lips, "Oh, I'm gonna like you."
"Come on, I need to measure you more. Take your pants off too," you huff, stepping back from Toji.
Toji's hand rustles with the metal clasp of his belt, yanking the leather strap loose around his hips, yanking his belt loose. His pants follow the same pattern, the unclasped button granting him the freedom of space. The denim falls from his waist, revealing a black pair of briefs sitting snugly around him. 
"I thought you didn't have extra clothes," you ponder aloud as you drop to your knees. 
"I always keep an extra pair of underwear."
"Is that right? Well, just stand still and we'll be done soon," your focus already shifting to the small red numbers lacing around his thighs. 
And it's a simple task asked of him, but nothing's ever simple with Toji. He's doing his best to behave but innocence isn't and has never been his forte. It's because of you he's struggling beneath a pesky heat that's running amok over his body. He's just too wary of how close you were to him. 
He's catching your hot breaths with the front of his briefs, bringing a flurry of twitches to strum through his cock. He has to stand there and ignore how your soft hands travel along his thighs, working so hard to get an accurate number. 
Why oh why do you have to look so cute on your knees for him? 
Toji's so drawn by his racing imagination, that he nearly misses your question. 
"How do you like pants to fit?"
"Oh...some days tight. Some days loose." 
"C'mon," you scoff, peering up at Toji. "I need a real answer."
All he can offer you is a coy smile, hiding all his intentions behind the gesture. "Sorry, Princess, I just can't focus right now. Ask me the question again."
"And...what are you doing that you can't focus?" your lips pushing out a pout. 
"Don't do that—you know why. I mean, you look so pretty on your knees, doing all this work for me. Can't blame me for these thoughts, they just...come in, y'know?"
You shake your head, "Toji, focus. Let's be pro—"
"Don't shut me down like that. It's always been a fantasy of mine, a quickie in a fitting room."
Toji's hand breaks away from his side to tease you. His thick digits curl beneath your chin, tilting your head to bear the searing heat of his gaze.  
"Can't tell me you haven't thought of it too, Princess."
A sigh breaks from your lungs as you drop the roll of measuring tape on the floor. Your hands are eager to be filled, stretched around something thick. It's no wonder that your digits choose Toji's thighs for the job. He fits perfectly in your palm, but he's just so big that your two hands alone can't form a proper grip around him. Your only resort is to tease him, dragging your nails to paint his skin red.
"...And maybe I have. Doesn't mean I should give into it."
Your nails trail up his sides, down the developed curves of his abs, and slowly hang right under his navel. He's playing it off well, but the chills that lick Toji's nerves tell you all you need to know. Antipcipation's making him sensitive from this point on, a ploy that's set to work in your favor. You dress his skin with a single line, the faint flare of crimson mapping your path down to his pelvis.
"Toji?"
"Yeah, Princess?"
"So, it's fine for me to do such a dirty job now?"
Toji's thumb swipes along your bottom lip, "Shhh, just for today, it's okay. I know that greedy mouth wants to taste me."
Toji allows himself to fall into lust by settling into the comfort of the divan, the cushions dipping beneath his weight. He isn't wasting any time to have your pretty lips wrapped around his cock. He already went back on his word—and might as well follow through with his lustful agenda for the moment. He makes quick work of his briefs, tugging the black cotton down his legs. The concealed bulge of his breaks free from its stifling confines, his dribbling cock slapping against his stomach. 
All you grant him is a grin of approval as you crawl between his legs, your hands surfacing atop his thighs. But that grin you wear so proudly fades away with the first peck you place along his tanned length. Your lips are met by the quivers of spry veins rising beneath Toji's skin, a testament to the growing pit in his tummy.
Your eyes don't dare to part from his, basking beneath the ravenous glare he's cast upon you. All Toji can do is watch—watch as your playful kisses paint his cock in the pinky hues of your lipgloss. 
He's cracking right before you, his lungs barely grasping the thickening air. He's hard, painfully hard at that. All his thoughts rush straight to the crown of his cock, sending an aching headache to rile the swelling tip. He's falling back into the nasty habit of impatience thanks to the mess of pearly tears trailing down his girth, leaving you to catch every drop. 
Your lips curve along the juicy tip, suckling at the thick vein that flushes out the underside of his cock. You're so gentle with him that he's flinching, his hips bucking into the air. He's whimpering at your tender display, but that's not all you're pulling from him. Creamy beads drip from Toji's slit, dyeing your skin in his shade of white. 
"Mhm, stop teasing me, Princess. Making my cock all pretty with your kisses. Want me you cum just like too, don't—Shit!"
Your puckering pout stretches along the head of Toji's cock, pulling him into your mouth inch by inch. The hot, salty tears of his precum greet you first, the instant reminder flooding your dumbed brain. His essence is something to relish, that deep musk sinking past your senses. Just the taste of him stirs up your mind, prying at some hidden carnal urge.
You're hungry for him, that hidden urge turned into the sin of gluttony. You're hungry for every drop of him, to have his flavor simmer on your tongue for as long as possible. 
That newfound urge of yours, your mouth eagerly swallows Toji down to the last inch, your nose cutting into the dark bushel of hairs. But he's so big that you can't keep this up forever. It's a last resort but all you can do is form a loose fist at the base of his cock, softly squeezing at his girth.
"Thaaaat's it, take it all down your throat," Toji cheers, his palm cupping your cheek gently. 
It's such a dirty display that Toji can't help but stare—your lips split around his girth. You're leaving him to gawk stupidly at you. There's spit carelessly spilling from the corners of your mouth, whimpers singing from your housed throat and pretty tears staining your skin. You've barely started and you're already driving yourself into a mess on his behalf.
Just his type of woman—so shy, so reserved, but so fucking nasty that not even a picture would be enough proof. 
As you find a cadence to strum along to, you suck your cheeks in around Toji. It's a gentle cocoon, wrapping his cock's wrapped in a heaven of velvety bliss. You even enlist your hand to help with your salacious endeavors, the balled fist dragging up and down Toji's sticky length. Now, you're really spoiling him, pitting him to bear the silky fat writhing around his plump cock. 
He can't help it, lifting his hips to meet your worked mouth. His hands race to brace the back of your head, his palms smothered over your ears. With the brash snap of his hips, you've driven yourself numb to everything that wasn't Toji.
You've even become numb to your surroundings, nearly dismissing the soft knock on the room's door. 
"Y/N! I'm gonna get started on some samples. What are the measurements, darling?"Ami's voice filters through the stained air.
"Better hurry up 'nd tell her. Can't have poor Ami watching her favorite client make a mess of herself," Toji taunts, his hand coming to replace your grip over his cock.
"Oh, yes! His height is 188 cm, waist 72.6 cm, chest 110cm, upper arm 42.5 cm, wrist 19 cm, and collar 38cm! W-We'll come back for the pants another day!"
"Wonderful! I'll get right to work then!" Ami hums. Her shadow beneath the door's crack disappears, taking along that plunging throb in your tummy.
"Toji! That was too—"
The tip of Toji's cock taps at your lips, halting any words to fall from your busy mouth. "Shhhh, I can't wait any more! Finish what you started...or...should I?"
Before you can get a word out, Toji's stuffing his cock back into your mouth, selfishly launching himself back into that drunken bliss with a feverish drive. 
With each buck of his hips, Toji's shamelessly engraving himself into you—every vein, every curve, every detail of him engrained to the inner plush of your cheeks. He's addicted to it—to you. Your mouth's just so warm, so soft, so tender. He's losing himself to you without the hope of ever pulling back.
"Oh, that's fuckin—Shiiiit, please....please, y're gonna make me cum!" He chokes out.
Through the budding mist of your lashes, you peer up at Toji, studying his battered form. His teeth are gritted, his fists balled up and with the curse of twitches riddling his cock tells you one thing—he's ready to cum. Toji tosses his head back, the devastation crashing through his body. You're bringing him so close to the edge, but it's teetering on a line he can't cross without you. 
"Awww, you like this dick, filling up your pretty little mouth like that?"
A sloppy nod is all you can conjure as the tip of Toji's cock nudges at the back of your throat.  His greed's bringing about tears to your eyes, fat tears rolling down your puffy cheeks.
He's chuckling at you for the moment until a crippling heat lays seize to his nursed cock. That pit in his stomach is meeting its limit, forcing Toji to sob out slurred curses of his timely demise.
"Fuck! 'm cumming, 'm cumm-"
Toji drags his twitching cock against your tongue for the last time, pulling away from your gaping mouth. His hand rushes to grip the base of his cock, squeezing every drop of him to rush to the mushroomed head. He smears the tip along your tongue, forcing the slick muscle to dip beneath its weight. 
"There's your fucking mess, Princess. Don't waste a drop, 'kay?"
His scent swells within the caverns of your mouth, the thick ropes of white sputtering from the fat juicy crown. A grin spreads itself thin over your lips as Toji ruins your mouth with his scent, drinking down the forbidden fruits of your labor. 
"Oh...fuuucck," the words mindlessly falling from Toji's broken lips. 
It's such an honor for him, bearing witness to your puffy lips nuzzling along his twitching cock. He's made a real mess of himself but you're here, using that tongue of yours to melt away his sins from white to clear. And you do the job well, all evidence of his high sitting along your tongue.
Such a good girl he's got on his hands.
"C'mere," Toji groans, his hands racing to your own. With his hands for balance, you quickly recover onto your feet. It's a team effort—you pull the dress over your head and he's busy with yanking your panties down your legs. 
"Turn around–yup, come sit, I wanna show you something." 
He drags you down to his level, seating you on his lap with his hands clipping to your hips. Toji's chest defines the arch that befalls your spine, his skin flush against you.
Toji cups at your jaw, his digits sinking into your cheeks. He's got your full, undivided attention, his hold directing your sights to your reflections. 
You're dumbly gawking at the lewd display, your nude form melding into Toji's. You couldn't try to separate where your body begins and where his ends, that's just how close Toji kept you. You look so small in his hold, your hands desperately clinging to his biceps. 
His presence is commandeering, even with you as the painting's main subject. Not to mention that just between your legs, his cock's hidden away behind the wall of your smothered thighs, hidden from sight but twitching with anticipation. It's just so...so—
"Spread your legs, Princess. 'M not done with you."
You're hesitant to oblige but your legs still creak apart, all the same, granting for Toji's hand to tend to your cunt. 
The thick pads of Toji's digits nestle along the puffy lips of your pussy, spreading the sticky mess apart with a grin. 
"Fuck, she's so pretty," he marvels at the reflection. He's lost in the picture your pussy paints in the mirror for him, his digits melding into the precious pink hues hidden between your folds. 
It's a sticky mess, but he couldn't care less. He's using such care with you as he traces the fragile curve of your folds, gawking at how your hips buck into his touch. 
"Look Princess, god, your pussy's so cute. Wonder what'll happen if I do...this..."
His fingers sink past your folds, the delicate petals glued to his touch. He's rubbing out languid strips to ease those woes of yours, his digit slinking through the sticky channel of essence. 
That same finger comes to tease your clit, nudging the glossy pearl spry beneath his touch. And you can't hide it, that sprawling heat growing between your legs. Your clit's overtaken by that heat, the nerves answering Toji's call. 
Toji's too gentle for his own good, knowing exactly how to get a rise out of you. And he's winning, thanks to the thickening veil of your honey staining his lithe fingers.
"C'mon look, Princess," he urges, his eyes hinging over the lewd display. "It's too pretty for just me to see."
"N-No, Toji. It's too much!" you squirm, but the hold he has over your jaw doesn't budge not even an inch.
His lips press at the curve of your shoulder, his greedy tongue slipping past to lick a lazy trail along your skin as he takes to the shell of your ear. 
"'Nd why's it too much for you, Baby? Too much to see how cute your pussy is? You just gotta, but...I guess I can tell you since you don't wanna see..."
"No, Toji, wait!—"
"Shhh, did you hear that?" His fingers gently drumming at your gasping slit. "Oh, you're so fucking wet."
"Mm, 'm not gonna look Toji."
"Why not?"
"I just don't want to! D-Do I have to look, it's feels so good—"
"You don't wanna look? Ha! that's real cute, Princess. Something a brat like you would...Hm...don't tell me you're a brat, mommy...I like those."
"Mm, No, Toji. I can't—" you sob, screwing your eyes shut.
"So that's how it is?" Toji sneers. His voice carries a cold annoyance with you. You know he's planning something to combat your arrogance, something made just for you. 
Toji's fingers fan across the sloppy mess of your folds, his thick digits landing a firm slap over the twitching bud of your clit. 
Your breathy gasp falls on his ears, but without a care to be found, he's merely ignoring you. His stare turns cold as he scans your splayed rest against his chest. You aren't even making an attempt to free yourself with a response–just keeping your eyes screwed shut and your head whipped away from the mirror's grand reflection. 
"Well...are you?" Toji pries sternly. " 'M not gonna stop til you say something. Not when I'm liking this cute lil' pussy."
And not a lie falls from Toji's barred tongue. The lewd crashes of his slicked fingers against your pitiful cunt rings around the room. He's playing with your clit as if he's forgotten that you could cum at any given moment, forgoing composure for the time being. You're just so wet, dripping with the same essence that drives him near mad. He wants a taste so bad, his mouth watering at how your pussy squelches beneath his touch. 
Yet all those wishes and desires bubbling at the forefront of Toji's mind didn't stop his fingers from finding the cute bulb, the weeping throbs melding into the tips of his punishing digits. 
Your rambling sobs threaten to drown the sweet symphony, Toji simply grins. Your cries are nothing when his blows can carry just a little more weight. His hand winds back this time, cutting through the air to deliver a stinging jolt to trace through your hips.
"Fuck, Toji, okay, okay!" you whine at last, " 'M not a brat!"
Toji halts his wrist for the moment. Finally, you're giving up, another land of his slaps and he's sure you would've soaked his pants. He moves to soothe your throbbing clit with a rewarding slew of laggardly drawn circles. 
"Then, tell me... what are you?"
"A...A...princess."
Toji grins as he presses a kiss along your puckering pout. "Good girl! That attitude isn't for you, too pretty for that. 'Nd I like hearing manners from that mouth of yours."
Toji groans as he pulls you further along his lap. His cock's nuzzled right between the curve of your ass and that spout of friction sends his dormant nerves buzzing yet again. 
It doesn't help that he's been catching your slick from his lesson of discipline a thick stream of gloss dripping down his cock. Blood rushes to cram into every inch of his cock. Toji can't even try to hide it, not when his cock's growing so heavy that it's bearing that familiar upright curve again. 
"Oh shit...'m getting–"
Your hand reaches down between your legs to lace around his girth, the pads of your digits drifting around the blushing tip. 
Your hands are so soft that Toji's flinching, his hips jerking as your fist encircles the mushroomed tip. "Sorry, Dollface. Should've grabbed some condoms before coming here.
"I don't mind if we don't use one."
"A-Are you sure? Really, I can wait for when we–"
Toji's long-winded pleas fall short on your ears, your lithe hands swiftly aligning him with your hole. 
"Toji," you coo.
"Yes?"
"Hurry up and fuck me already...please."
A part of Toji wishes you wouldn't use such a word—fucking. He isn't fucking you and hasn't been since last night. Not when he wants to see your cute expression, trying to guess how deep he's ended up. He isn't fucking you when he wants to hold you just like this, keeping your body wrapped up in his arms. 
He's too interested in finding ways to ruin you just to be fucking you.
He hasn't found a word to describe what exactly he's doing the moment his cock sinks into you, but it surely isn't anywhere near something as heartless and crude as "fucking". 
The head of his cock paints your slit in sloppy kisses before his girth robs you of composure. He's watching the swelled mounds of your folds split at his length, painting the throbbing veins in your essence. You feel so good around him, enveloping his cock in your heat. 
But it's something he shouldn't even have the honor of bearing witness to, especially when you're back to hiding in the crook of his neck.
"C'mon, let's watch together," he purrs, cupping your jaw firmly once more within his broad digits. He's directing your sights to the pane of glass before you both, your flaring eyes gawking at the scene.
"We can see everything, baby. Get to finally see how greedy this pussy is too–fuck. Taking every inch of me...just...like...that."
He's back to stretching you again, his pudgy girth bullying your pussy to accept him. But his face tells you a different story, his skin flushed in bliss's shade of rouge. He's squirming beneath you, desperately trying to stop himself from getting ahead. He's filling your ear with rambles, mumbling off some mantra of being patient.
Toji's patience's warranted when he huffs out a groan, tossing his head back when he buries himself to the hilt at last. The hairs decorating the base of his cock brush against you as he grinds his hips against your ass, the bush of onyx tickling the bare skin of your cunt.
"See?" he groans breathlessly, "Did such a good job, Baby! N-Now, lemme...lemme make this pussy all mine."
The languid drop of Toji's hips pulls you from his lips, a weak keen escaping your lips.  He buys himself an inch or two before flooding your senses again, the thich crown of his cock pecking at your core.  
Toji's noticing how you ease up each time he meets your sweet spot with a kiss. 
He brings his hips to an angle when his hips drop this time. He's praying that the thick curve of his underside works in his favor to hit all your sweet spots in a single stride. His hands reach to cup at the back of your knees, pinning your limp body to his own.
"Ohmy–fuuuuck, Toji!"
The crashing barrage of waves his hips carry rip through your pert ass, trailing all the way to the underside of your thighs. Suddenly, he's reaching so much deeper than before, his eyes bearing witness to his cock stretching with ease. His excitement's getting the better of him, coaxing Toji to feed your poor cunt with relentless strides. 
"That's it, Princess, take that fucking dick!"
Your lips unwind at his praise, his name rolling off your lolling tongue. In the heat of your bliss, you steal a glance at your silhouettes in the mirror, eyes falling right on the sinful fixture of where you and Toji meld. It's a dizzying sight to swallow, your hazy stare watching your own cunt swallow down Toji for every inch he has. It's so lewd but...so...so mesmerizing!
It's wrong but you can't look away from the swell of your lips splitting around the fat of his cock. It's like he belongs there with the way his hips snap riveting strokes to flush your pussy raw. He's pulling everything out of you, rousing the overwhelming swell of heat to rile your nerves. 
He's harboring a resilient drive now, earning the badge of a thick white ring wrapped around the base of his cock. But he isn't working this hard for nothing. He's trying to drown out the facts of just how good you feel around him. 
Your fluttering walls coddle his shaft with pecks, the suckling heat gnawing at his ebbing resistance, the way you're peering at him with those eyes—those blown hues begging for just an inch of relief. You've got Toji's body running hot, thriving off nothing but carnal lust. 
He knows you're close, but he wants to cum with you even more. He's more than aware of the fact that if he hits your core just one more time, that would be your undoing. 
But you just can't cum yet...you can't. 
Toji graces your visage with a kiss, pity souring his thoughts. You're ruined by him; tear-stained cheeks, spit-ridden lips, and the dumb rambles falling from your mouth prove his theory to be true. 
"You wanna cum, don't you, Princess?"
"Y-Yes...p-please, Toji!" you sniffle, nodding frantically at his inquiry.
"T-Then cum with me!" he sobs, his forehead dipping into the crook of your neck. 
Your bodies catch the seizing hold of anticipation, the promise of bliss breaking over you.  "Mmm, Tojiiii!" you hysterically bawl. 
It's selfish to seek out his aid but the pit in your tummy's too much for you alone to handle this time. It's a sweeping spasm, capturing your body whole. Hot white steaks lick across your skin as you arrive at your high. It takes every ounce of your being to sustain, your back bearing a harsh arch. Just as it came, your high quickly ebbs away from you, rendering you into a panting mess. 
Toji does all he can to free himself from your silky walls, his hips dropping from your own. He's pitted his cock to relish the final moments alone before the compelling surge of white explodes from the fat head, your inner thigh lathered rich in his scent.
"Fuckfuckfuck, I c-can't stop—hnn!" Toji blubbers, his stomach caving in against your back. He tosses his head back along the divan's frame, writhing beneath the weight of his high pins upon him.
Your blurry vision falls onto Toji, basking in what his own orgasm had planned for him. He's gritting his teeth. You want to help him, but just as your own, this is something Toji has to bear on his own. 
All you have for him is a kiss, your lips simmering at the corner of his mouth. It isn't even a minute before your kind gesture is returned by Toji. It's soft kiss, his lips barely sinking into yours. He lazily pulls away, wearing a weak smile to greet you.
"T-Thank you, Princess."
"C'mon, let's get out of here. I'm sure Ami is waiting out there," Toji croaks, pressing one last peck to your cheek. 
You nod weakly, planting yourself on the plush carpet. Toji follows right behind you with his hand too fond of your lower back. He helps you first, slipping the sage dress down your body before tending to himself. 
"Oh," he calls out, reaching for your panties. "You don't need this right?"
"And what are you going to do with them?"
Toji stuffs the lacy material into his back pocket, tugging away any evidence of his perverted ways. 
"Told you I'm no good. I steal too."
"Go ahead...but it's just because I'm too tired to argue right now," you hint as you wait for him by the door.
You and Toji quickly slip past the private fitting room's door, walking into an empty lobby. 
"Huh, guess we beat her—"
"Okay guys! I just finished the samples, sorry to keep you guys waiting. Come back next week and I'll have the full order of tops done. We can get his bottom done as well!" Ami announced.
You and Toji watch the woman with dumb, gaping eyes, right until she stands before you both. You sheepishly accept the bag in her hand, Toji reaching out to take it from you.
Guess luck is still on your side.
"Okay," you mutter slowly. I'm gonna use the bathroom. I'll be right back."
Toji offers you a nod, watching you disappear behind the service desk.
"Wow, it's so good to see her back to her old self," Ami shares, her comment piquing Toji's interest.
"Why? Oh! Because her husband passed right?"
"Yes, she's been so sad for the past four years. So seeing her out and about again brings me such ease."
"Wait, four years? Her husband died three years ago..."
"Yes, that's still right," Ami avows, "But he was diagnosed a year before his death. They tried so many treatments, and hospitals—all that money couldn't get him a reasonable recovery. Then, one day he simply called off all treatment and wanted to spend his final days at home with his wife. So even before his initial death, she was already filled with grief."
"Is that so..." Toji hums, his attention called back as you return to the sales floor.
"Okay, sorry about that. Ready to do Toji?"
"Yeah...thank you again, Ami," he waves at Ami, his quick steps bringing him to join your side. 
"Bye Ami! See you next week!" you grin.
With the chime of the door's bell, you and Toji are transported back outside onto the streets of Ginza.
The sun's setting tendrils blaze through the orange sky, hues of purple, rose, and yellow casting themselves across the horizon. The buildings nearby bask beneath the gentle glow of dusk as night teases its way in. 
"You wanna get on the train again?" Toji hums as he faces you. He's wearing that dumb look again, gawking at how your afterglow drinks in the day's final rays. 
"No, it's nice out. Let's walk back home," you suggest, earning a nod from Toji.
You both begin on your trek home, slipping your hand into his. 
He's too busy racking his brain to notice the gesture but he welcomes it all the more. You were vague with the details of your husband's death, but to know how much grief you've endured in recent years pulls at Toji's heartstrings. 
He knows he's no replacement—hell, you're the one spoiling him. But he knows he can still give you something of his—his time and effort.
In the long run, his time and effort might not amount to much. But somehow and someway, he's hellbent on making his own mission to cheer you up. And no, you didn't ask for a savior, and he's far from being called on.
But call it compassion from the resident wanderer.
"Hey...Princess?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I call you my lady?"
You stop dead in your tracks, forcing Toji to come to his own stop.
"What?"
"How about I call you...my lady? It doesn't need to have any romance behind it and it kinda sums up what you are to me."
"And what are you to me? Not a friend since you get all pissy."
"I don't get pissy, thank you very much," Toji scoffs. He places himself in front of you, wanting to read your reactions as he urgently tries to explain himself.
"I mean, you hired me to be your boy toy. Now, I have no issue saying that, but I can see where that might not sound too pleasing to others. So...you're my lady...my mistress even. How does that sound?"
"I'll take lady, mistress is no better than boy toy."
"Great!" Toji smiles. You playfully roll your eyes, attempting to step away from Toji—but he isn't done with you yet.
No, how could he be?
His hand's swift to grace the dip of your back, pushing you flush against his chest. A mischievous grin curls onto his lips as he scours that bombshell look on your face. It's been a day and you still aren't used to his brash advances—something you know you'll adjust to in time. 
But Toji's playing coy, blowing you a teasing kiss. He just has one more thing to say, and he hopes you're ready to agree.
"Can we kiss on it?"
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wittlesissyb4by · 1 day
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Why do we keep letting these pigs get off scott-free? They think they can come in, play with our hearts and our heads, then cut and run and do the same to some other poor girl! Hell, sometimes they’re doing it to multiple women at the same time!
Well, I say “no more”! No longer will we let these immature men run around and take advantage of women! It’s time we take a stand! Starting with little Benjamin here.
Benny tried to slip a little something in my drink at the club last week and thought I wouldn’t notice. Little did he know, I’d already been watching him, planning a little bit of payback after what he did to my friend Lauren. She cried for weeks over this guy.
So when Benny wasn’t looking, I did the ‘ole switcheroo, he was out like a light 2 hours later.
Ohh you should have seen Benny’s face when he woke up for the first time! His hands and feet were chained to his new crib, and he kicked his little legs when he saw (or felt) what he had on. Every flail of his body only made his fresh new diaper crinkle louder and louder. He whined and cried and screamed as much as his gag would allow. But Benny had no idea that was just the beginning.
He thought, he really thought he wasn’t going to have to use his diaper, that it was just there for funsies. The way he moaned and groaned as he clenched and tucked his legs, trying anything he could to quell the painful throbbing coming from his very full bladder. I told him to save himself the torment, that all he was doing was delaying the inevitable, but still he resisted. To his credit, he made it a whole ‘nother thirty minutes before he sighed in relief and flooded his diaper for the very first time. His whimpers and whines after were pathetically adorable.
He drank the bottle out of desperation. He was obviously starving, and I made it clear he would not get out of his (now *very* wet) diaper until he finished the whole thing. I wonder if he could taste the laxatives and hormones mixed within? No matter, he certainly seemed to notice the effects about an hour later when he started fussing and complaining about the cramps.
“Just get over it,” I spat back at him, something I’ve heard way too many men say when they learn a woman is on her period, “just don’t be such a bitch!”
When I tell you: the man cried. Like, full-on bawled like a baybee when he couldn’t hold it anymore and started shitting all over himself in that diaper. He continued to cry for the next 3 hours when I refused to change him. I made him sit and wallow in his own filth while he thought about his life choices.
Reluctantly, his diaper was eventually changed, but so was his outfit. His eyes were wide as saucers when i held up the pink onesie and frilly skirt, but they closed soon after once the drugs kicked in. He woke up halfway through me doing his make-up, and seemed less than thrilled when the wig was put on.
Now, one week later, he’s mostly silent in his crib. I’m not sure if it’s the cocktail of hormones in his system messing with his brain, or he has finally accepted that this isn’t all a dream, that this isn’t going to stop, and this is his new life now. Any attempts to run will just lead to the thousands of pictures I have of him ending up all across the internet. The livestreams of him pooping his pampers notwithstanding. He’s quite docile now. He knows to keep that pacifier in his mouth otherwise it will delay his diaper change by several hours. It only took him a few rashes to learn to comply.
Lauren is now on her way over to get a look at the so-called “Man” that broke her heart. I highly doubt she’ll feel any sort of anguish now. Knowing her, she’ll have even more fun with him than I have.
So this is a call to all women, it is high time we put these deadbeat little fuck bois in their place. Take back what is ours. Let’s fight the patriarchy and turn it into a true Matriarchy, one pathetic little pervert at a time!
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laremsworld · 24 hours
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Both Bridgerton Brothers have acted completely out of character this season and here is my theory about the why:
Colin and Benedict have watched their brother falling in love and getting married with a hint of jealousy - don‘t get me wrong, they‘re head over heels for him and adore Kate as their new sister, but I think that both Colin and Benedict - however extroverted and charming they may appear - do have a low self-esteem. While both got so happy for Anthony, say couldn‘t help but get that feeling, that moment of „of course Anthony is going to find his happily ever after, he is the best. Why would anyone care for you in the same way?“
Benedict mentions in the first episode of season three that he enjoyed doing Viscount-stuff while Anthony was in his honeymoon, so he probably got to admire all the work his brother has been doing more and more by day („WWAD - What would Anthony do?“ has become his daily ritual), so he probably fully accepted that he‘ll never get any better.
Benedict copes with this new feeling by completely isolating from society. He decides that he can‘t find anyone who‘d marry him for him and not for his last name, so he avoids any noble lady. This is probably why he falls in love with Sophie that fast: she‘s the first lady to flirt with him, laugh with him, enjoy his company, without knowing who he is. And she doesn’t treat him different after she finds out.
Colin on the other hand, did his best to merge into the ton. He learned to be charming, did what his friends, the members of society, did (even when it meant to sleep with women in a Bordell without enjoying it.) At the end he falls in love with the one woman who has always admired him, who had shown interest in the real Colin and not the fake gentleman he played. He fell in love with someone who loved him for being himself and thought this was enough.
Both brothers go different paths but end up in the same place and I love that♥️
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eeunoia · 2 days
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ENHYPEN Series
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sinag | psh.
chapter ten
pairings: park sunghoon x reader
synopsis: waiting for a great plot twist in your life, the ruthless and powerful mafia boss park sunghoon forced his way in to it.
word count: 2.6k
warnings: contains harrassment, violence, guns, killings, abuse, obsessive love & other stuff. if you can't take this stuff, feel free to scroll away. let me know if i missed some.
note: there’s a slight change from the original one shot. anyway, please send me asks and reblogs are highly recommended! thank you so much, ily.
eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.
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“We found these inside her suite room, Boss.”
Sunghoon rests his liqour over the small table near him then pressed his lit cigarette at the ash tray. His toned muscle flex at his every move. He reaches over the small card Icarus was handing him.
With brows furrowing downward, he silently read the printed name of the company you seem to work at. He didn’t utter a word and just plays with it, falling deep into his own thoughts. The name of the place you’re currently employed in rings a bell. A bit familiar. Like he heard it before.
“We also managed to gather some of her personal belongings.” his eyes darts lazily at the things he laid over the table.
Some identifaction cards and also your passport. He licked his lower lip and stretches his arm to grab your passport. He opens it, revealing your information to him. Your name, birthday, nationality... everything.
“You may take your leave. Make sure there are men guarding her floor.” he instructed without sparing a glance to him. He saw him bowing from his peripheral before he take his leave.
The cold breeze blew towards Sunghoon, making his slightly long hair sways beautifully along with it. His eyes are fixed at your picture and his thumb gently caress it, a ghost of smile spreading across his face.
“Aelia...” he mumbled your name for the very first time. “My Aelia.” he added afterwards.
He tilts his head and clenches his jaw hard before fishing his phone from his pocket.
“Brother! I figured you’ll give me a ring sooner or later.” Jake’s voice hints teasing from it.
“You...” he starts, but halts his words.
Sunghoon couldn’t make out his emotions properly. He’s feeling so pissed for his friend keeping something very important to him, but at the same time still overwhelmingly happy after finding you.
“Well,” he can almost hear his smirk from the other line. “did you like my gift for you?”
He threw his head back then heaved a sigh.
“Since when?” he shortly replied, wanting to know more about this sneaky move his friend just pulled. He should’ve known something’s up from how his friend’s been so weird.
“Ever since I tried to sell the company to you.”
Another big and heavy sigh emits from Sunghoon after he realized how long was that. He almost lose his mind searching for you and all this time, his friend knew where you are. He felt betrayed, but a part of him are relieved to know that you are safe.
He flutters his eyes open, brows furrowing hardly at the realization.
“You sold it to me for 10 million? Do you fucking think she’s worth just that?” he seemed insulted like as if he was the one being priced and sold at a lower price. Not that he really sell you, its practically the company but Sunghoon’s being very dramatic.
Jake chuckles finding it hilarious how he didn’t even got mad at him for selling it at a very expensive price. He got offended for taking the interpretation that you only worth that price.
“Dude, I asked for that so I can take care of your girl while you’re busy taking care of some other things.” he finally explains. It made him more calmer, his jaw’s still hardly clenched but at least the idea of beating the shit out of his friend starts to subside.
“Meaning all these time, its you and your money whose taking good care of her. She’s living comfortably thanks to your resources.” he sounded like he’s trying to convince a kid and tricked him into believing that Santa is real.
Sunghoon fell silent, trying to sink Jake’s words inside his mind. He did a good job on revisioning the company and even made it perform well. He’s been updating him about the status of it even though he doesn’t really give much care of it as he was pretty focused on putting the Kwon’s down.
All this time, its not just the company. It was his way of letting him know that his girl is okay and living pretty well.
He draws in a big sigh, totally calmer than before.
“Thank you.”
Jake’s the one silent this time. He was expecting him to appreciate his effort, but not to this extent. He was expecting an earful of curses and death threats from him, but instead this is what he got.
He was amused. Beyond amused how you’ve already started to affect him. He lets out a scoff, couldn’t believe that you have this effect on him. It was just a hunch that you indeed have the potential to soften and tame the monster, but you are powerful. You have this power over him.
“The fuck? Not even a day of meeting her and you’re already under her spell? Who are you? Where’s the real Sunghoon? The real one would’ve cursed me out and will be super pissed at me.”
Sunghoon smirks and rests over the railings of the balcony. His eyes settles beneath the quiet road, it was almost empty as its already three in the morning.
“I am pissed at you.” his stern tone makes it obvious how he means.
“But since you kept her safe 'til this day, I’ll let you go.”
Jake smirks, “Even if your meet up is a little set up?”
“What’s important now is she’s here. She’s really here.” relieve was not the only thing you can hear from his tone. Some are curiosity on what’s about to happen next.
He can think nonstop about the things he wanted to do with you, but first he has to think of how he would explain everything to you. Because from now on, you will live your life with him.
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You let out a heavy sigh before grabbing your phone and dialed your boyfriend’s number. Your jaw clenched when you've been directed over to his voice mail. It’s been three days ever since you two talked and you even argued. This is your last night here and so far its so good. Surprisingly nothing bad happened to you, and you don’t want to jinx it at all.
“Hey, Luke.” you said after the beep to leave him yet another voice mail. You didn't know how many you left already but still, you decided to do it again.
“I know you're upset baby. Please let’s talk once I get back there, hm? I love you.” you mumbled and ended it.
You grabbed your coat and key card of your hotel room. It was stressing you out so you wanted to get some fresh air to relieve some stress. It was already late which makes it a bit scary, especially that you're in another city. But you knew you needed some for tonight.
You breath in the fresh air you thought you’ve been needing for a while. You tried smiling as you watch the stars above you shines brightly. You were enjoying your time without even realizing what’s about to unfold.
After finally calming down and clearing your mind out, you decided to head back to your hotel.
On your way, you had this weird feeling that you're being followed. Your heart started thumping fast, specially that there are less people around this area. Terrified that someone really is stalking you, you hurried your steps.
But even before your can reach back to your hotel, you felt a strong grip over your arm. Your heart sank as you open your mouth to shout only to be covered by your captor. He held you firmly then covered your nose with a handkerchief making your eyes grew big and you tried to get away from their grip but it was too late.
The last thing you remember is how you slowly lose your strength, knees falling weakly. The person held you close to him and even whispered things you couldn’t understand as you lost consciousness. In the end, you felt them carrying you.
Sunghoon smiles as he stared down at your unconscious body over his arms. His men opened his car door for him and he puts you inside carefully.
“Have you prepared the hotel room I asked you?” he asks Icarus as he checks if your position inside his vehicle is okay.
“Yes, boss.”
He nods and Sunghoon walks around towards the driver’s seat. He glanced at your side before smiling again, reaching over your face to gently brush away the hairs covering it.
At the arrival to the hotel, Sunghoon parked his sports car right in front while his men's vehicle surrounds his for protection. The staffs of the hotel hurries themselves to stand right in front of it to welcome him. They've been informed about the vip that will stay at the top floor of the hotel, and after knowing its Park Sunghoon they couldn't help but to feel nervous.
After-all, he’s known for his bad temper.
“Welcome Mr. P-Park.” the head of the hotel stutters as he bows along with his staffs.
Sunghoon didn’t pay much attention to them as he asks for his room card. Some of the staff noticed him carrying your unconscious body, tears on the sides of your eyes. Just by the looks of it, they knew you didn’t come here voluntarily.
None of them asked anything about you, nobody even dared to look at your direction longer than fiver seconds.
The moment he managed to get the keys to your room, Sunghoon struts towards the elevator along with Icarus and some of his men.
“Should we tie her hands?” Icarus asks.
Sunghoon’s eyes darted at your wrist. His assistant is already getting ready to tie her when he stopped him.
“No. I don’t want it hurting her wrists.” he says too softly and then sat at the side of the bed to look at your sleeping state.
He wiped off the tears at the corner of your eyes and using his thumb, he caress your cheeks.
“My love, you are finally here with me.” he whispers.
He sighs, “You are so beautiful.” and he roams his eyes over your pretty face. He’s still in trance. Despite being able to hold you and touch you like this, sometimes he still can’t help but to think that he is dreaming.
Scared that this are just his illusions, he somewhat wished not to wake up from this. If it means he will be with you, he don’t want to leave. He wants to be where you are and where he can have you like this.
“Sir, Mr. Sim called saying he needs to discuss something with you.” he sighs and nods his head before standing up.
“Leave some of our men inside the room incase she tries to escape or do something that can hurt her.” he reminds his men before leaving the room.
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With a low grunt, you slowly opened your eyes only to be greeted by an unfamiliar room. Your head aches in attempt to recover memories from last night. It was just then you remembered that you were abducted.
Fear spread across your chest as you roamed your eyes around, sitting up from the bed. There are men wearing familiar suits. You’ve seen it before, you just don’t have any idea where.
“W-Where am I? Who are you?!” you asked frantically and tears spreads across your face.
Even when you are crying, they seem to don't mind. They are just standing at the corners of the room, two by the door.
You don’t know how many hours that you’re passed out, but you knew its been a while. Your throat felt dry from crying and screaming. One of them did offered water, but you refused. You’re afraid that they put something in it.
The fact that this is happening on your last day of the trip makes you go crazy. Nothing good really happens whenever you go out of the country. Everything seems to be find until you got abducted by these people. This time, you think this will really be the end of your life.
Dark thoughts starts to occupy your mind. Will they kill you and sell your organs to the black market? Probably. Or put you into slavery. That’s just so awful. A lot of bad scenarious flashes through your mind and it was making you feel much terrible.
The door then burst open, making you jolt a bit. Soon, a man walks inside. His eyes looked at your way and he bows politely which caught you off-guard. The other guys around seems to look up on him so you assumed he have more power than them, so why is he bowing at you?
“The boss will see you in a bit.” Icarus said, informing you about Sunghoon’s plan to visit you.
The boss? Your brows furrows hardly at his statement, but kept your mouth shut. Tears still pool your eyes, cries a little more silent than before. If he isn’t the boss, you can still try to convince him to let you go. You can beg him. Tell him that your you have terrible health so your organs won’t sell good.
“Please let me go.” you begged him softly, eyes glistening with so much emotion.
Icarus stared at you with blank look over his eyes. He sighs and glanced away, trying to talk to some of the men reminding them of what to do next once the boss arrives.
Your heart fell. He didn’t even say anything or even talked to you.
Not long after, you heard the door opening and it revealed some ethereal looking guy. His hair was brushed up and it looked so soft, his face blank and seems like he’s the one in-charge. So much power he holds just by walking inside the room.
You can’t properly describe it. He just have this aura. He’s wearing a suit that perfectly fits him, showing off his model like proportions. It feels so illegal to see him walking here and not on runways.
Both of your eyes met and you are a bit taken aback because he’s very good-looking! His skin was fairly white and his features were beautiful altogether. He’s very intimidating too.
“Did you hurt her?” his voice ringed inside your head. He was asking the guys around but his eyes never left yours.
You gulped and even if you’re feeling very scared and intimidated, you raised your chin up and stared back at him. You glared and clenched your jaw to keep them from shaking.
“No, boss.” one of them answered. As expected, he is the one in-charge.
He nodded and slowly walked closer to you. If he’s good-looking from afar, he’s breath-taking up close. He looked so handsome and intimidating at the same time. Those moles all over his face sure add some charms in him.
“I’ve been searching the whole world for you, love.” He softly mumbled before he raised his hand to caress your cheeks carefully like as if you’re something so fragile.
Something about his caress lit something inside your stomach go crazy. It was definitely wrong because he was the one who abducted you and he’s probably a bad guy. Not to mention that you have a boyfriend but for some reasons, you cannot help it. There’s something about his gentle touch and his staring expressive eyes.
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Text
✮"she did it! no, he did it!"✮ C.S
summary: yn had a horrible day at work. she came home. chris and her two kids were at home. they wernt behaving and yn got stressed out. chris tried to make things better.
a/n: fluffy fluff fluff. chris being a dadddd!! crying...kids...stress...other shit. i love fluff. comforting?..idk chat...
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
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i had a horrible day at work. all my patients were canceling on me, and i had to fill out a million forms. being a therapist isnt easy. i stumbled into the front door. i heard the living room tv playing Bluey. both gino and melody were singing to the intro.
"bwuey!" melody yells out.
"hey, melly belly!" i yell out, putting my bag on the island and crouching down to give her a hug.
"hi mommy!" melly came running over to me, giggling and hugging me.
"where's gino and daddy?" i asked, hugging her.
"in da bedroom." i smiled and let go, giving her a big kiss.
"okay, baby. ill be back." melly nodded her head and turned back to Bluey. i walked into me and chriss bedroom.
"mhp...baby?" i asked, looking around. i saw chris and gino napping. i smiled and kissed chriss temple, causing him to slowly wake up.
"oh...whats up, baby?..." chris asked, tiredly.
"work. i hate it. im stressed. tired. i just need a nap." i said, i took my two long braids down and took off my shoes, laying in bed.
"mmh...i understand, baby. do you wanna nap? ill take care of gino and belly." chris said softly, looking into my eyes while caressing my cheek. gino started to wake up.
"no...i still need to make dinner, do the dishes, mop...ugh..." ive always been an emotional person. but...all this stress, i couldnt take it. all of my tears spilled out.
"shh...dont cry. shh, baby. i will help. please dont cry, my love." chris begged, standing up and holding gino.
"s-sorry...just stress." i said, wiping my tear stained cheeks and sniffled.
"shh, baby. im gonna do the dishes and mop. ill order pizza and take care of the kids. i need you to rest-" chris was cut off by gino yelling.
"i wanna go outside with melody!!" gino yelled, squirming out of chriss grip.
"hold on, gino." chris brought gino out of the bedroom and in the living room with melly.
"baby, im gonna go with the kids. stay in here." chris kissed me softly and tenderly before leaving the bedroom. i sighed and turned over, attempting to sleep.
A FEW HOURS LATER
"mama! mommy! mom!" i heard gino and melly. they were trying to wake me up and were hitting me.
"hi, babies..w-wheres daddy?..." i asked, grabbing them and giving them kisses.
"daddy is on da couch, asweep!" gino says, giggling and smilling.
"oh...okay, do you guys wanna watch Bluey?" i asked, trying to distract them.
"BLUEYY!!" they both yelled, running into the living room. i got out of bed and walked into the living room, seeing chris, on the couch, i smiled. i turned on Bluey before plopping on the couch, looking at chris. i sat on his lap.
"baby...wake up, my love. this is the second time youve napped in one day." i giggled as i kissed his face all over. he slowly woke up and looked at me.
"did you see?...i mopped the floors, ordered pizza, and did the dishes? all for you." he said with a half sleepy smile.
i smiled and kissed him. i got up to go give belly a bath. on my way to grab belly, i noticed a bit of colorful marker on the wall. shit.
i grabbed belly and saw her hands had the same color of maker on them. i let out a defeated sigh and shook my head.
"melly. did you write on the wall? tell me." i said in a soft but stern voice.
"nooo!" she giggled.
"melody." i said, in a stern voice.
"i didnt! i swear!" she crossed her arms and frowned at me.
"melody faith sturniolo. did you write on the wall?" i asked, fed up with this mess.
"im sorry..." she said, in a defeated voice. letting her arms fall to the side. revealing the green marker print that was on the wall.
"lets go get washed up, yeah?" i brought her upstairs. i was so close to letting loose and cry. but i held it together. i put her in the bath and let her play for awhile. i went downstairs and immediately ran to chris.
"baby...belly wrote with marker on the wall. the sharpie you were using to sign autographs." i whined, sitting next to him. gino was still being a good boy, sitting on the living room floor, watching Bluey.
"melly?...she did?...oh shit, babe. im sorry, i guess when i fell asleep, she used it...i- i didnt mean to. i was just so tried from the house duties an-" chris was interrupted by me hugging him. i didnt know what else to do.
"im sorry. i really really am." chris rubs my back and kisses my temple.
"we'll survive."
"i hope." he teases, i giggle and nod my head.
"do you wanna go wash belly? ill take care of gino...and the wall." i smile and kiss him before standing up.
"will do." chris stands up and jogs up the stairs, into the bathroom to wash belly.
i grabbed a sponge and cleaned the wall, it was slowly coming off. i heard a faint; "mama?"
i turned around to see gino hugging my leg.
"oh hi, baby. whatre you doing?..." i ask, kissing him. i took off his glasses and cleaned them, before putting them back on him.
"why were you crying mama?" he asked with a soft and innocent voice.
this made my eyes water, but i quickly smiled.
"no! no! daddy made me laugh so hard, mommy cried! i was crying...funny tears." i smiled.
"oh! whats on the wall?..." he asked. i giggled, he was really cute. changing topics was his specialty.
"sissy wrote on the wall. sissy is in trouble." i said, going back to scrubbing.
"trouble?....i will never ever write on the wall if i were to get in time out." he giggled. which made me laugh.
"no, baby. do you wanna help?" i asked, as i handed him the sponge.
"nope!" he walked back into the living room.
"oh...o-okay.." i giggled and went back to scrubbing.
after awhile of scrubbing, i heard belly throw a tantrum, yelling and kicking. i put the sponge down and crept up the stairs. i didnt want chris nor belly to see me so i put my ear to the door.
"you have to let me wash this marker off you, belly." chris said, i peeped in. seeing chris sitting on the ground next to the bath, holding a rag in his hand.
"i don't wanna!" belly was always stubborn. but today, i was gonna loose it. i looked at chris, looking at belly. he was patient. but, he looked kinda mad.
"melody faith. sit in the tub and stay still or so help me g-" i immediately cut him off.
"belly! let me wash you off, mkay?" i quickly grabbed the rag and washed her.
"im sorry, baby. she was cooperating an-" i cut him off again.
"dont worry about it, my love. can you go watch gino? im gonna call my mom to come get the kids. she said she misses and wants to see them." i added, smiling.
"really?! then we'll have the whole house to ourselves!" he was so excited.
"yeah, dont worry, just go watch gino. thank you, baby." i smiled. he kissed my softly then ran downstairs and sat with gino.
i finished washing belly and put her in her princess onesie. i walked downstairs and see gino, all clean. i looked at chris. he had a smirk on his face.
"did you bathe gino?" i asked, smiling ear to ear.
"yeah, he was easiest." he smiled and patted the couch cushion next to him. i smiled and put belly on the ground with gino before sitting next to chris.
"thank you, baby." i kissed his temple.
"no need to thank me, im a dad. its my job."
thanks for reading
balls ❤
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Text
The Chains Are Heavy
(Levi's long awaited backstory, finally)
Special thanks to everyone who has been following and rp with me. You really have helped make this character more than he was meant to be.
(@fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency @tired-sayaka-ada @never-gets-sick @oscarsgallery @city-of-c0rpses @v-extreme-diminuendo @kijimha )
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How did I get here again? It could all have been a simple life for me, but it wasn't. Ever since I became 10, I was rob. Robbed of my family, friends, goals, dreams, my childhood, and most importantly my innocence.
Not just my innocent mentally, but literally too. I lost my innocence of being a civil. They all hate me now. Rightfully so. After all I have been nothing but a danger to everyone around me. All I did was make things worse. This war could have ended quicker if it way for me....
How did I get here again....
Foul Ball
It all started on March 22, a day after my birthday and two days after my best buddy's birthday, Cooper. We have been friends since daycare and being in the nursery at church. Cooper was a year younger than me, he was a wild kid, always taking things to the risk or the extreme. Super fast as well, faster than all of the kids on the playground, running was one of his passions. Cooper once told me that when he grows up he'll become a track star. As silly as it sound he had my full support, because you could never say no to Cooper. You could never tell him what to do.
I on the other hand was the balance for Cooper's wild behavior. Much more soft spoken and tame for a 10 year old. I may have not been the fastest runner, but I sure did have a good arm at throwing things. I had a goal, to become the world's best baseball player. It was my dream after all, to be on the professional teams and be famous. I wanted to make my mom proud
I must admit some of my behavior is like that, mostly because I was a mommas boy. It was just her and I after all, which I didn't mind. Though sometimes Cooper would joke that his dad, who was also single, should marry my mom so that we can be brothers and live together. I always told him that we wouldn't need legal documents in order to be brothers. As long as we stick together we will always be brothers.
Well that promise didn't last long... Cooper and I wear out in the front yard of my house, playing baseball as usual. I was using my new metal bat that I got for my birthday, it was much stronger than my old wooden bat. We were having a fun time, Cooper was about to throw the ball until he arm suddenly dropped and let go of the ball.
"What's wrong?" I asked as I turned my head to see what Cooper was now looking at. My eyes widen and I start to feel the same sense of fear that Cooper might be feeling. Two black cars parked in my driveway, and five government agents came out of them. My heart skips a beat. It can't be.
I watched as the knocked on the front door of my home, my mom answering it a second later. The government agents start talking to her, and even though I couldn't hear what they were saying, I could tell by the look on mom's face that this way good.
Cooper tugged on my sleeve. "You don't think the president actually signed that bill right?..." Cooper looked worried now, and I so was I. I clenched my fist into my shirt.
"He would only sign it if war ever started....." The realization dawned upon us both. My lips trembled. "I don't want to go to war...." I mumbled those words with tears falling from my eyes.
That was the last day I ever saw my mom again.
That was the day I was robed of everything.
Strike 1
A 10 year old out in the battlefields of war, that isn't something you saw everyday. But here I was, fearing that my life could end at any moment in these trenches. And it would be like this for the next 9 years.
It took some adjusting to, though there was no time to adjust. Hand a gun to a 10 year old and tell him to go to the trenches and figure it out. I wasn't even given training. They didn't care. They wouldn't care about me. I was a child who would get in their way.
I didn't blame them. After all this wasn't the military decision after all, it was the horrible president at the time who made this decision. What the Nimone government did was cruel. They went through every legal citizen document and determined who would be drafted into war. We already had plenty of men above 18 drafted, but it wasn't enough. With the law at the time, anyone who was above 10 years old, could be drafted if they were proved useful enough to be used.
And that's what upset me the most. That I was just some weapon in their eyes. A tool to be once and never again. I wasn't the only one upstairs though. Many parents and families were upstairs by this dumb decision. It wasn't just families either, it was our own men as well who were outraged by this decision.
Upon my first day at the military base I met the leader of my unit squad, Captain Ross. He was a tall and well built man, always having a cigarette in hand and giving cold gazes at everyone. It was scary first meetings him. After all, the captains in the Nimone are train and built to be unstoppable military weapons. Nothing can stop them, and they will not stop until they are dead.
Being compared to this grown man compared to me was quite scary contrast. I was just some tiny kid compared to him. We both looked at each other for the first time and I can tell by the look in his mustard yellow eyes that he was displeased. There was a scoff as Ross stared down at me. "Who the Hell put a 10 year old in my unit squad? This is a kid, he should be home, not here about to die for our country." At least Ross and I were on the same page. Who's mess up idea was this anyways?
Everything from that day forward continued to go down. You expect the 10 year old to be a helper in transporting supplies or be in the med bay, but no I was thrown straight to the front lines. The trenches. The conditions of trenches were horrible, but the treatment around here was worse.
I wasn't given proper clothes that were my size, everything I worn was made for grown men. I had to learn how to sew to keep my shirt together because I wasn't given new clothes. I been wearing the same shirt the militarily gave me for over 10 years now.
The bunks were hard as rocks, I could barely sleep. That's even if I could sleep at all within the anxiety that any moment a bomb could drop on us. Sometimes I didn't even get to sleep in bed. Someone I would pass out in the trenches or on the floor. I had to push myself to still be barely functional.
They needed me after all, all for my ability. It was either fighting in the trenches, or infiltrating the enemy team as a spy. With my ability I could look, sound, and act like someone else as long as I had a single strand of their DNA on a peice of clothing for me to wear, I could transform to be like them. Mirror Mirror, I called it. This was useful to the military, since I had to use it a lot. My ability was the only reason why I was still living while fellow soliders fall dead to the floor before my eyes.
They all started calling me DNA, Levi DNA, since that's what I was to them. I was called that name so many times that to this day I can't remember my own real last name now. That war has made me forget a lot of things.
Strike 2
I try to suppress the memories and nightmares so hard, but at the cost of forgetting anything good before the war. I was robed of the memories of my childhood because of it. Even if I did try to forget, the ones that were the worse always lingered in the back of my mind. All those moments of being in pain and suffering. Everything was starting to become dull around 18.
This was had been going on for so long that I was loosing my reason to keep fighting. As if I ever had a reason to in the first place. I was just doing what I was told. Go spy on these guys, aim for the head, use your ability, back to the battlefield you go. All words that have no importance to me anymore.
I remember one time I was in the medical bay, I had gotten badly injured, but even in that moment I couldn't rest for long. Dr. Ikari, a young man who never got to finish school, had to patch me up. Unfortunately he had to send me right back out to the battlefield a minute after he was done attending me. I could tell by the look in his eyes that we were feeling the same thing. This dullness that we both felt. I barely talked to him, but I could tell that both of our worlds were become gray.
When I was around 19 I thought there was nothing left to look forward to. The war was slowing down but I was already numb. Or so I thought until one day I saw a familiar face. Jumps off the bus was a familiar red head, it was Cooper! For the first moment in a long time I smiled as I saw him. He spotted me and we waved to each other. He still recognized me! I never felt more happy in that moment.
At last we can be like brothers again. Things became less dull, there was some color back into my life. Things were finally looking up. We would sit in the dining hall, eating the worst food, but that didn't matter to me. I got to talk to. My best friend.
Cooper would catch me up on everything that I have missed and I would vent to him about how this war was. His optimism brought up my spirits, which brought me to ease. He barely has changed since I last saw him, my same old buddy. We promised that once this war was over that we would support each other while we fulfilled our dreams. A track star and a baseball player.
Strike 3
That promise didn't stay.
I was robed again.
I could never forget that moment.
We were out in the battlefield, trying to traverse no man's land, our side finally had the upper hand in closing end on the enemy. But we lost many men that day, including Cooper.
He didn't react faster in time. Before I knew it, I was cradling his dying body in my arms, blood dripping from his forehead. Cooper was shot in the head. I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't even fighting anymore. All I did was lay on the battlefield, holding him closer to me. "Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me." I would mumble to myself through tears.
But he left. I believe now that he's resting well with God in heaven.
In that moment I could forgive myself. I couldn't forgive the enemy team. I couldn't forgive our own government for all of this. Things were becoming dull again, but there was this redness starting to boil in the inside of me. This ticking time bomb.
Then it happened.
I had enough.
The day I finally snapped.
I'm out
I regret everything I have done in that span of a week. I was the reason why things got worse. It was little things at first. Ignoring Ross commands, running straight into dangerous territory and slaughtering the enemies, or throwing a grenade at helicopters. Then it got worse, I destroyed many of our own military weapons and transport, with some of our own men still in them. I set some of the base on fire. Gave valuable information to the enemy team. Held hostages of innocent people. Many things.
All these things became documented, published for all the public to see. Soon Levi DNA became a name to hate. I was a danger to everyone around me. That I need to be killed or locked up away forever.
There were two final straws that let to my arrest. The president at the time came over to the base, there for a impossible meeting. He was the reason why I was suffering like this. With all the rage built up in me, I tried to assassinate the president. It took 6 guys to stop me from doing so.
But I wasn't done that day. The worst thing that I have done was use me ability for a murder. I transformed to look like Captain Ross, committing a murder on the previous vice captain at that time, making it look like he was the one who did it. I baseball almost ruined his name and reputation.
He hated me that day since.
There I was, now arrested and locked away in a high prison facility. Ross took the pleasure to torture me in breaking my spirit, in which he did. There was nothing to look forward to anymore. Everything had became gray once again. I felt nothing as I sat in my dark cell, chained to the wall. I didn't deserve good treatment. I didn't deserve kindness or anything good. After all a criminal, a monster, doesn't deserve anything at all.
There was no reason for me to live anymore, and I was ready to accept that.
For a long time in that cell I would be in my own little headspace, daydreaming that I was living a better life with my family and friends. It was my only "joy" left. But even that couldn't be enough.
I was ready to end it all, yet a tiny part of me told me not yet. One more chance. I try to ignore that tiny bit of hope left, but I caved in. I made a promise to myself, that if I could not find a reason to continue on living in a month, then I would end it all.
So I acted. With brute force I broke out of that prison. I snuck onto a boat headed towards Japan. I free myself and upon leaving Nimone to Japan, I did find one major thing to keep me living. The sun and rakn. The sun was so warm and bright, great against my skin and the rain was so calming and cooling.
This was my chance to start again.
Back in the game
Upon arriving to Japan, I ended up in Yoko's city. There I was already lost and confused. I didn't know where to go or where to stay. I didn't know Japanese so asking for help was a impossible.
For my first few weeks there I was a hobo, wandering around, taking food out of trash cans. I found a abandon car to sleep in for the nights, but I barely got sleep. Things weren't looking good again. I desperately needed a job.
But who would hire a criminal?
That's until I stumbled upon this building and this man with probably over 20 children. His name was Mr Fukuzawa. And upon meeting him, my life was never the same again. Things changed, for the good this time. And I was welcomed into a new life with such amazing and kind people. My world had color again.
I'm forever thankful for that day.
Thank you.
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