#remus lupin x healer!reader

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 1.5

Warnings: A wee bit of self loathing from Remus, mentions of scars

Word Count: 1.1k

Pairing: eventual Remus x fem!healer!reader

A/N: So it has been a while since I posted anything about this series so to refresh, there will be smaller chapters like this one in-between each of the longer chapters. The smaller chapters generally won't focus on the reader and mostly Remus instead. As of now I'm still tagging everyone that's on my Remus taglist but if people want I'll make a separate one just for the series

Series Masterlist Taglist

Remus laid on the couch, his arm covering his eyes. He could hear his friends whispering about him only a few feet away. They often talked about him and his condition in hushed tones like it was some sort of secret but there was no point. Remus knew what kind of monster he was; they didn’t need to pretend he didn’t. “Can you stop pretending I’m not here and speak at a higher volume so I can decipher what you’re saying?”

The whispering stopped at once. Remus peaked out from behind his arm to see the group of four moving from the doorway to surround him in the living room. Sirius lifted Remus’s legs and sat down, resting the werewolf’s feet on his lap. James and Peter sat on the floor while Lily stood behind the couch and busied herself looking at the new scars forming on Remus.

“Want to fill me in on your secrets?” Remus whispered, moving his arm so Lily could look at his face. Since she found out about his monthly issue, she had taken on a sort of motherly role. She was always checking on him and trying to feed him and do her best to help heal him but that was never her strongest magic. But it was nice to have her care so much for him even if he didn’t want to bother her.

“James was just filling us in on your trip to St. Mungos.” Sirius let the silence hang after he answered. Remus kept his eyes closed but he could feel everyone looking at him. When no one else spoke, Sirius continued. “Are you really going to let some random girl help you find a cure?”

Remus sighed and sat up with a groan, causing Lily to rush into the kitchen to grab some ice. “No, I’m not. I had no choice though since James wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That’s going to be awkward.” Lily handed Remus the ice before she took a seat next to him on the couch. “James said she’s coming over here after her shift.”

Remus put the ice on his right shoulder, sinking into the couch. “When she gets here I’ll tell her that I changed my mind and she can leave. I don’t need her help. I have you guys and that’s all I need. There’s no reason for some random girl to give me pity and spend her time and my time making a cure that won’t work.”

“Why not?” Peter spoke up from the floor. “She wants to help so why not let her.”

“I don’t know her Wormtail. I don’t know a single thing about her besides the fact that she seems to think she can help me. She could be doing this because she has pity or because she thinks this will get her points in the medical field.” Remus felt like he was making fair points but the look on James’s face told him it wasn’t enough.

“Moons, I think we all know why you don’t want to accept help.” Remus watched James and shook his head. “I think you’re scared to be let down.”

Remus quickly stood, ignoring the way his body screamed in protest from the quick movements. He didn’t want to sit around and hear James’s ridiculous ideas. James may be one of his best friends but he didn’t know a single thing about this life that he was forced to have. He needed a walk, he needed air, he needed to get away from everyone for just a minute. It’s only been a few hours since he was out of control of his body and attacked by a hippogriff and forced to go to the hospital where a healer refused to take care of him because of what he is. Not to mention a random healer decided to wedge her way into his life to try and help him for whatever reason. He needed a nap.

Remus headed out to the small backyard and collapsed onto a plastic chair. He closed his eyes and felt like maybe he could relax for a few minutes before the door slid open and Lily walked out. Remus grew close to Lily during their last few years at Hogwarts and he was beyond thrilled that she joined the little group of misfits they had. She had a bond with Remus that none of the boys could ever come close to replicating. He loved his friends and he was closer to them than anyone else in the world but his bond with Lily was special. He thought that their relationship would be one like he could have had with a sister.

She pulled another chair over and sat next to Remus, handing him the ice pack that had fallen when he stormed off. “I suppose you’re here to convince me to go through with this.”

Lily sighed and shrugged. “Not really. I think you should give it a shot but you’re right. You don’t know her and while it seems nice that she wants to help, you don’t know why she would. James was just excited to know there was someone else that wanted to help.”

She carefully rested a hand on his arm. “We all just want you to be happy and to have a good life that you deserve. Everyone is just excited at the idea that maybe this healer could be the one to help that.” Lily glanced at a new scar on his arm. “And if she’s as good at potion making as she is at healing, then I think she really could help.”

Remus looked at his arm. He had plenty of scars all over his body but the one on his arm that you had fixed earlier that morning was harder to see than the others. In fact some of them you did such a good job that there was hardly any evidence he had been hurt there in the first place. You had done a better job than anyone else ever had so maybe that did bode well for a cure.

“Give her one month, just one chance to figure this out and if it seems to go well or you think she isn’t weird, then it can’t hurt to keep trying. It really can’t hurt to give her a shot.”

“Fine but just one month.” Lily smiled and left Remus alone with his thoughts as she went back inside. He would agree to one month of help but Lily was wrong. This could end up hurting so many people. Remus had been hurt by strangers and friends but nothing hurt more than getting his hopes up only to have reality come crashing down on him and continuing to be a monster. This could hurt a lot.

Taglist

@100gaysnails @weasleybuns @s1aaaaayyyyyyyt @steelthistle @asuperconfusedgirl @jsjcue @Andy200700 @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @daisydark @creepybloodykitty2 @avatheveela @themarauderswife7 @Mintyme101

#hp fanfic #hp fanfcition #harry potter fanfiction #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #young remus x reader #remus lupin x healer!reader #remus lupin x y/n #james potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew #lily evans #james & peter & remus & sirius #marauders era fanfic #hp marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders era fanfiction #marauders era #the marauders

[ddejavvu]

do you have an AU that you’ve been thinking about? if you do, i’m requesting that:)

today is multiverse monday (but i'm on vacation)! send me any au you can think of :)

--

so a while ago someone requested a 'medical doctor spencer reid' blurb and i read it as 'medieval doctor' and i haven't shut up about it since so

oh my god shut up i read that as medieval doctor and had a beautiful vision of witchy healer spencer living in a little room in the palace wrapped up in cozy little shawls as he makes his rounds giving everyone their medicine and healing potions before coming back to his workshop/lab and burying himself in his books and experimenting with magic all day :((

i don't know how many of you have seen merlin, (hopefully most of you because this is tumblr) but he would be a fantastic gaius!! albeit not decrepit and ancient but like !! he's just a lil guy who lives in a hut in the palace!! i could imagine him foraging for the herbs that he needs to make his potions with and someone always has to accompany him into the forest morgan as a knight holy shit because it's really dangerous out there and everyone's worried that their favorite healer won't come back so morgan stands there all big and buff in his chainmail with his sword on his hip just wAiting for someone to try and fuck with him and spencer's picking flowers like :]

the king always tries to get spencer to switch rooms!! he'd taken the little hovel thing on the outskirts of the palace years and years before, and as he's proved his proficiency and loyalty the king wants spencer moved up to his own wing of the castle with a beautifully grandiose setup and furniture and he wants him to have the most lavish lifestyle possible but spencer wants to keep living in his little cottage with his teeny tiny little bed and his dusty books :(

#spencer reid #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid headcanons #spencer reid hcs #spencer reid hc #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid dialogue #spencer reid au #witch!spencer #witch!spencer reid #healer!spencer #healer!spencer reid #multiverse mondays #remus lupin x reader

[happyyyandcrazyyy]

flu (remus lupin x reader)

summary: (y/n) meets remus in the hospital wing. it’s quite fitting, really

or

remus and (y/n) are aware of the lingering feelings but won’t confess, maybe all they need is a little marauders’ meddling

warning: chronic magic illness, slight canon divergence (in the sense that i made up magical stuff lmao), description of pain (not detailed)

request by @ladylokilaufeyson5 : “Hi, I was wondering if you could write another remus lupin x reader? Maybe reader and remus are lowkey in love with each other and everyone but them knows? And the marauders try to interfere? On another note I absolutely ADORE your writing <3”

a/n: hii!! thank you so much for the request and for your words <3 i’m sorry it took me so long to get it done, inspiration has been hard to find these days :/ i changed your request a bit and added addition stuff i hope you don’t mind and i hope you enjoy it !!

chapter 1: the flu (spoiler: it isn’t the flu)

1.0

Everything hurts.

(Y/N) is used to that, the lingering headaches and muscle aches. They’ve been there for as long as she can recall.

What she isn’t used to, however, is her skin feeling as if it’s been blasted with cold air. She’s freezing and the shivers that run through her body are only worsening the pain. She can’t help the pained grunt that leaves her lips.

There’s movement somewhere around her— she would open her eyes to see exactly who it is but her body’s being uncooperative, and her lids are just too heavy —and the next thing she knows there are hands on her face. The back of the palm is pressed against her forehead, there’s a mumble, too quiet for her to hear, and then the hand’s gone.

“How are you feeling Miss (Y/L/N)?” And it’s a testament of how much time she’s spent here that even with her brain feeling as if it’s been stuffed with cotton candy, she’s able to identify the voice.

She tries to reply, but it feels like her tongue is stuck to the roof of her mouth. It takes her a couple of seconds to be able to articulate the words, “Like I’ve been run over by a hippogriff.”

The matron chuckles at that, one of her hands delicately moving some of the hair in (Y/N)’s hair away from her eyes. The laughter sounds somewhat fond, like she’s grown much to used to her comments. That’s the real testament of how much time she’s spent in the Infirmary, the fact that she gets the privilege of gentle tones and sweet hands.

Madam Pomfrey helps her sit up, one hand on her arm and the other on her back. The change of position makes her head pound, but she keeps her mouth shut, she knows better than to say anything that will keep her bedridden longer than necessary. She’s handed a glass of water and the matron observes her, makes sure she drinks it all before nodding approvingly. If the matron notices the way her hands shake as she guides the glass to her lips, she doesn’t say a word. She does, however, evidently notice the goosebumps that cover her skin and wordlessly casts a warming spell. (Y/N) can’t help the way her muscles immediately sag in response to the heat, no longer tensing. The deep ache lessens slightly.

“Try to rest,” Madam Pomfrey instructs as she takes the glass away, as if (Y/N) had enough energy to do anything else. She only nods in response and closes her eyes as the healer walks away to tend to other patients.

It’s quiet for a while and (Y/N) finds herself drifting between consciousness and sleep when a sound startles her. Her eyes snap open and she turns her head around to try to locate the noise. There’s a hiss, followed by a swallowed groan filled with pain (the kind of sound you produce when you’re hurt and it’s painful, but you don’t want to bother anyone because, yes, the pain is bad, but it could be much worse). It doesn’t take much for her to identify where the noises are coming from; the bed right next to hers. Knowing who it is, however, is near impossible seeing that the curtains are pulled shut.

They must be badly hurt, she thinks to herself, because Madam Pomfrey only ever closes the curtains when the extent of the patient’s injuries is serious.

Whoever it is keeps on moving around as if trying to find a position that isn’t painful. (Y/N) can empathize and maybe that’s the reason she finds herself asking, “You alright?”

The movement comes to a sudden stop, and it seems like it takes a while for the person to realize that she’s talking to them.

“Uh, yes. I’m— I just— I got the flu.”

And that’s a lie if she’s ever heard one. (Y/N) isn’t even looking at them and she can tell. It’s such a bad lie that it’s kind of comical, it makes her huff out the most silent snort, “Okay.”

“You?” The person asks after a couple of seconds of silence, moving around once more before settling, “Are you okay?”

(Y/N) crosses her arms over her chest, biting her lip down when her muscles cry in protest, “Also got the flu.”

That brings out something that resembles a chuckle, but is much to pained to be one, from the person.

“Must be flu season.”

She can’t help the way her lips quirk in amusement, “Must be.”

1.1

She’s back in the Hospital Wing two times before she sees (hears?) the person again. If she’s being honest, she hadn’t expected to ever meet them again, not everyone is a frequent visitor like herself, after all.

This time, however, the roles are reversed. She’s the one with curtains pulled shut (because it’d been bad this time, real bad, she somehow managed to burn her right arm and part of her chest and the feeling of freezing to death had been bad enough that Madam Pomfrey had been forced to give her Pepperup Potion) and he’s the one who speaks up first.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to holler for Madam Pomfrey?”

It isn’t until she hears those words that she realizes she’s been letting out small whimpers of pain. She breaths deeply through her nose and tries to quiet down, it’s kind of hard when it feels like her insides have been liquified, but she manages.

It takes her a moment to realize she knows that voice, she’s heard it before. It’s a good thing, she thinks, that she has the ability to match voice to people with scary precision because it only takes her a couple of seconds to know where she’s heard that voice before.

“I’m good,” she replies, “It’s the flu, you know?”

The person is evidently startled, most likely not expecting that answer, because they let out a small laugh, “Highly contagious, isn’t it?”

They have a nice laugh, deep and rich and overwhelming warm. She doesn’t think she’s ever heard someone laugh in the Infirmary before. It’s nice, she decides, different in a way she could get used to.

“Very much so,” she plays along, somewhat amused.

They’re quiet for a couple of minutes before the person speaks up again, “I’m Remus Lupin, by the way.”

She hadn’t expected to exchange names with the person, but this is a nice development.

“The infamous marauder,” she teases, groaning low as she changes her position. The bandage around her arm is beginning to itch. “Whatever have I done to be blessed with your presence?”

“You know who I am?”

He sounds genuinely surprised and that’s confusing because, really, there isn’t a person at Hogwarts who doesn’t know the marauders. She tells him as much.

“I figured it’d be James and Sirius who everyone was familiar with.”

(Y/N) shakes her head, even if he can’t see it, and immediately regrets it when pain flashes through her eyes like lighting. “I’m pretty sure you all have fan clubs,” she responds through clenched teeth, doing as best as she can to keep the pain from her voice.

She’s moderately successful, good enough to fool anyone who doesn’t know her, but Remus must be familiar with pain because he asks, “Are you sure you don’t need Madam Pomfrey?”

And she does want some pain relief potion (badly, she wants it badly) but she doesn’t need it. Calling out for the matron will only end up with (Y/N) having to stay longer than she wants.

“I’m good, Lupin.”

He hums in response, obviously disbelieving.

“Oh, I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” she tells him after a couple of minutes of breathing through her nose and clenching her eyes shut, willing the pain to pass. “Just remembered I never introduced myself.”

There’s shuffling, like he suddenly sat up. She swears she can feel his eyes on her, even through the curtains.

“The brightest witch of our generation,” he teases, but he’s unable to hide the evident astonishment from his voice. It seeps through, only a little, but enough for (Y/N) to notice.

She huffs and catches herself before she can cross her arms over her chest, the movement would be too much for her muscles right now. She’s not the brightest nor is she the most powerful, despite what everyone believes. Even if she was, it would only be due to an unfair advantage. It’s not really her.

Just when she thinks he’s going to ask something else about her magic, like everyone does— it’s always is it true you managed to cast a patronus when you were only twelve? and can you really perform nonverbal spells? and can you teach me how to cast protego with the power of my mind and no need of a wand? —his voice becomes gentler and he says, “Nice to meet you.”

And that’s it. No questions, no prodding.

She likes him, she decides in that moment. He’s not what she expected him to be.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

chapter 2: blooming friendship

2.0

Things don’t drastically change after that. She wouldn’t say they’re friends, not really. Acquaintances is a more fitting word, (Y/N) reckons, although sometimes it feels more intimate than that. Being aware of each other’s pain does that, she guesses.

Despite not running in the same circles, they’re friendly with each other; Remus nods at her when he catches her eye and (Y/N) always responds with a smile.

It isn’t until Professor McGonagall decides that she’ll be the one pairing up students for the upcoming Transfiguration project that things do change.

Now, usually professors allow them to choose who they’ll be pairing with— partially because it prevents conflict, but mainly because it prevents the heavily dramatized whines and complaints from Potter and Black, who grumble as if they didn’t spend their every waking moment stuck to each other’s side —so it isn’t surprising that the news are received with a communal groan.

(Y/N) shares a disappointed look with Crasswell, one of the best friends and someone she works splendidly with, and begs to Merlin that whoever is her partner isn’t Potter or Black.

(“Minnie, please! We’ll do anything.”

“Anything!”

“No running around past curfew.”

“No pranks for a whole week.”

“No stealing food from the kitchens.”

“No sneaking into Filch’s office.”

“No convincing Peeves to carry out mischiefs in our absence.”

“No trying to get the portraits to sing opera in the middle of the night.”

“This is all merely hypothetical, Minnie, of course. Not to say we’ve ever done any of these things.”

“Precisely.”

“But if we ever had, we could stop.”

“Grant you peace of mind for a week or two.”

“Because, honestly, I think I might die if I’m not paired with Prongs.”

“The separation anxiety would be too much for him, Professor.”

“I feel ill by just imagining it.”

“He does look kind of feverish.”

“Mr. Black,”

“Yes?”

“If you’re going to die be sure not to do it on my classroom.”

“Mr. Potter,”

“Professor?”

“Back to your seat.”)

Yes, (Y/N) really begs it’s neither of them.

“Ms. (Y/L/N) and Mr. Lupin.”

Merlin be praised.

She can’t help but sigh in relief, because not only is he not James or Sirius but Remus is actually a decent partner.

“You lucky sod,” she hears Black tell Remus as he begins to make his way towards her. “You got the best possible partner.”

It seems as if the class agrees because as soon as her name is called along with Lupin’s, the remaining students huff in discontent. She isn’t egocentric, but (Y/N) knows people were hopeful to have her as their partner— if Mulciber’s unblinking stare and Avery’s crossed fingers are any indication —after all, she’s known for being particularly skilled with any sort of magic that requires a wand. It makes her even more grateful to be partnered with Remus. He might be one of the few who wouldn’t exploit her to get a good mark.

“Hey,” she greets him warmly, moving her books aside to make room for him.

“Hi.” His smile is sweet, shy, it shows off a barely noticeable dimple in his right cheek. She thinks it’s adorable.

That’s really where it all begins.

2.1

(Y/N) ends up spending a lot of time with Remus. At first, it’s only because of Professor McGonagall’s assignment— they’re doing trans-species transformations, after all, and even with her unwanted magical advantage (Y/N) knows it’s a complicated and dangerous matter, so they’re forced to spend hours doing research before even beginning to experiment with animals —but it eventually becomes more than that. She finds out she enjoys his company, his attentive silence and quick-witted comments. Remus never looks at her like others do, not with a mixture of pity and sympathy like her parents, or like she’s an experiment that needs to be prodded at like some of the healers at St. Mungo’s. He doesn’t even look at her like some other students do, with greed and the intent of befriending her just to get a peek at her power, or intrigue and the desire to figure out why she disappears for days at a time. It’s like Remus is able to look past assumptions and expectations and see her. It’s different and (Y/N) finds out she likes the normality very much.

She discovers a lot about Remus Lupin in the months that they go from being acquaintances-that-see-each-other-at-the-Hospital-Wing-every-couple-of-weeks to friends-that-spend-every-single-moment-of-the-day-together. (Y/N) finds out that he’s got the gentlest soul and the kindest heart, that he’s someone who genuinely cares. He’s not much of a talker but is instead a great listener and an ever-better advice giver. It’s curious, she thinks, the way he becomes louder when he’s around the marauders. Not different, but brighter. Remus is also incredibly smart, not exactly in a book-smart-kind-of-way (somehow James and Sirius surpass him in academics, it’s one of the greatest mysteries to herself and Evans because they both swear on their lives they’ve never seen either of them open up a book unless the purpose was to destroy school property) but in an intellectual-kind-of-way, he’s knowledgeable and passionate about a handful of topics and it’s fun to have someone with whom she can debate about controversial topics.

Seeing the good in him is as easy as breathing, it’s all there in the surface for the public eye. Sensing his hardship, however, can be almost impossible in a good day. Still, (Y/N) manages to see what slips through, eyes that shine with an emotion that resembles guilt and shame crumbled together. After having Remus deflect when she’d asked, she knows better than to push him into discussing things he obviously does not wish to share, but those are the days that she pulls him closer.

“I think we might get this done tomorrow if we’re lucky,” (Y/N) speaks up as she rubs her eyes. After realizing just how well they worked together during McGonagall’s assignment they’d decided to partner up for all the upcoming projects. They’ve been cooped up in the Library, working nonstop on Professor Slughorn’s assigned concoction for hours, she feels like her brain is melting and never has she been more grateful to be done for the day. “Rem?”

At the lack of response, she turns around to meet her friend.

Remus is starting out the window, seemingly lost in thought. He’s been more agitated the last couple of days, anxious. (Y/N) has noticed he gets like that sometimes before ending up at the Infirmary.

“Remus, hey!” she moves her hand in front of his face, effectively pulling him out of whichever daydream he’d been in. “You good?”

“Yes, sorry,” he closes his eyes for a second as he runs his hands, “Uh, I don’t know if I’ll be able to meet up tomorrow. I haven’t been feeling well, might be coming down with the flu.”

And that’s the keyword, the word they both use, the one they know means something else entirely. (Y/N) wonders if one day he’ll trust her enough to tell her about his condition. She wonders if she’ll ever tell him about hers, too.

“That’s quite alright, we still got plenty of time to get this done, we’ll finish it when you feel better.”

Even months after knowing each other, Remus still seems surprised by her gentleness, and something akin to regret colors his features. She hopes he doesn’t feel bad for not telling her the truth, she doesn’t mind.

(Y/N) finds herself reaching out for his hand, squeezing it gently as she offers him a kind smile. “Get some rest, yeah?”

He huffs a little, like the idea of resting sounds impossible, still, he replies with, “I’ll try my best.”

Later that night, as she lies in bed with nothing but the full moon for company, (Y/N) wonders what kind of magical condition Lupin has. She can’t help but compare herself to him. From what she’s seen it appears like whatever he has doesn’t affect his everyday life and it also seems like he can always tell when it’s coming. She envies that. There are things she’ll never be able to do, like ride a broom and play Quidditch, and she can never tell when a new episode is about to occur. Well, that’s a lie, sometimes she’ll get the smell of citrus burning through her nose or a feeling of intense pressure between her eyes and she knows, but it’s never early enough to prevent the attack, only enough to allow her to escape to some place where she can be alone. Whatever Remus has leaves him drained and injured, she’s seen him sporting scratches and bruises, and that confuses her because if there’s one thing she’s learned by visiting every healer in the country from the day she was born is that magical illnesses don’t tend to be violent in nature. (She’s an exception, of course, because apparently she’s an exception to every single magical rule that’s ever been written.) The thing that itches at her mind the most is how Remus’s condition seems to be cyclical, not at all random like her own. There’s only a handful of cyclical illnesses, she’s read enough magical medical books to know that.

She sighs to herself, looking at the moon one more time before snuggling into her bed.

It isn’t until the next morning, as she brushes her teeth, that she makes the connection.

Her eyes widen in realization, toothbrush falling from her mouth to the skin.

Merlin’s beard, how could she be so daft?

A full moon high in the sky every single time.

When she visits him in the Infirmary later that day she brings him three chocolate frogs— which she’d bought the week prior with him in mind —and tells him not to worry about anything other than resting. He responds with a smile, one that’s pain-filled but genuine. She doesn’t tell him about what she thinks she knows.

2.2

Her next episode happens in the middle of the night, as she sleeps in her bed. That is new, she’s never had an episode while asleep. (Later on, when the pain is manageable, she’ll reach the conclusion that it’s not only new, but concerning.)

This, as it turns out, is both a blessing and a curse. Being asleep means she doesn’t suffer from the initial dizziness and nausea, just the muscle cramping and spasms that always come prior to losing consciousness. Even then, it’s like she passes out earlier on than usual, her body too disoriented to handle the pain. She counts that as a win, really. The downside, however, is that she wakes up feeling as if she’s been slammed by the Whomping Willow and stupefied at the same time, every nerve ending is flaring up. Tears well up in her eyes and begin falling without her permission. It’s been a while since she’s cried out of pure pain.

The pain not bad enough to knock her out again— she wishes it would —but it does manage to make her stomach churn. She turns around and throws up. Somehow Madam Pomfrey (when did she get here? had she been here all along?) foresees it and there’s a bucket that keeps her from making a mess out of the Infirmary.

She’s sticky with sweat, hair pressed against her forehead, and the tears keep on falling. Her body trembles with the effort of keeping her upright and heaving into the bucket. The muscles on her chest ache, badly. She’d feel gross if she had enough mind to think. What she does notice, however, are the shivers that run up and down her body. As if the pain wasn’t enough, she’s freezing.

Everything becomes a blur after that. She’s conscious, but she’s not. Madam Pomfrey works diligently around her (the shivers decrease but they don’t disappear completely). The curtains are pulled shut (are there any physical injuries or is it just that bad?). She drinks two potions (or were there three?), she doesn’t even register the taste. There’s mumbling (an incantation maybe?) and then there’s black.

It takes her a week to recover and three more days of rest before Madam Pomfrey lets her go back to her everyday life.

Her roommates come by and she finds out that they’d been frightened and worried out of their minds when they’d woken up and she hadn’t been in bed. (Y/N) doesn’t have to ask Madam Pomfrey how she’d known she’d had one episode; she’s been wearing the small necklace— one that is enchanted to detect increased flows of magic and heart rate —for as long as the episodes have been occurring. The matron was probably alerted by it. She’s also not surprised that her roommates didn’t hear a thing, she places a silencing charm around her bed every night in case something like this ever were to happen.

Remus also comes by; he brings her gummies and his favorite muggle book for her to read— he introduced her to romance muggle books and she thinks she might be addicted. He sounds evidently concerned about her, voice filled with worry (there must be rumors going around the castle, she guesses), but he never asks about her illness, only makes sure she’s feeling better. He fills her in on the things she’s missed, which include two highly amusing pranks by the marauders and a very public breakup by a Slytherin couple in the middle of the Great Hall.

Neither her friends nor Remus see her, the curtains stay shut until she leaves the Infirmary. The traces of visible magic floating around her fingers linger for days and it isn’t until they disappear that she’s released from the matron’s care.

chapter 3: hogsmeade, feelings and revelations

3.0

(Y/N) feels like her energy is being sucked out of her. Some days she wakes up to find out there’s already a headache building at the back of her head, others it’s hard to even open her eyes. She’s always cold. She uses a glamour spell to hide the dark bags under her eyes. What’s truly concerning is the feeling of her magic; it swirls unsteadily, uncurling only to tighten up again. It’s not painful— after all her magic doesn’t actively try to hurt her, it’s just too much —but it worries her because it’s uncontrolled. It normally takes a lot of effort to keep it reigned in, these days it’s even harder which results in her episodes occurring more frequently.

Madam Pomfrey wants to inform her parents about the recent developments of her condition, (Y/N) begs her not to— she knows what’ll happen, they’ll take her home and make her rest and then she’ll be visited by a thousand different mediwitches and healers only to find out that no one knows how to help her. Madam Pomfrey compromises, but only after (Y/N) starts pouting.

“You’ll come over after dinner every night to have your vitals checked,” Madam Pomfrey relents. “I’ll talk to Professor Slughorn about brewing a potion that’ll help you harness the magic.”

(Y/N) knew the matron had a soft spot for her, even if she tries to deny it.

“But if the condition gets any worse, if your health is at risk, I will inform your parents.”

(Y/N) hopes it doesn’t get worse, but that’s just wishful thinking, she knows it will. The cold feeling should’ve been enough of a warning; (Y/N) is pretty sure she’s dying. If that’s the case, she just wishes to be allowed to enjoy however long she has left before inevitably ending up bedridden.

That’s the reason why, when Remus asks her to accompany him to Hogsmeade, she doesn’t hesitate to agree, even when she’s exhausted beyond belief.

It’s how she finds herself walking around the small town, watching little snowflakes fall to the ground, one hand linked through Remus’s arm. Half of her face is covered by a red and golden scarf that Remus had taken off some hours ago when he’d noticed her teeth chattering.

He’s so unbelievingly attentive to her— he’ll pull her closer whenever she starts feeling weakness settling in her bone, letting her lean some of her weight against him, and he’ll gently guide them to whichever store is closest when the cold gets too much for her to handle. She doesn’t need to say a single word, Remus just appears to know, and that’s, honestly, impressive since she has a lifetime of experience at pretending to be okay. For a moment she thinks that maybe it’s just a coincidence, but then she catches the small glances he throws her way, filled with a tiny bit of concern and something else she rather not name. It makes her feel warm all over.

Everything’s going great, they’ve visited Honeydukes and Zonko’s (where, to no one’s surprise, they stumbled into the marauders, who, to no one’s surprise, teased Remus by making kissy faces at him when they thought she wasn’t looking) and walked around taking about everything and nothing. That’s another thing she likes about him, talking comes as easy as breathing, conversation just flows.

So, yes, everything is going great which means that inevitably something was bound to go wrong because that’s just how (Y/N)’s life goes.

They’re making their way to the Three Broomsticks when the cold hits her with a bone-aching intensity. She comes to a sudden stop, clenching her chest in panic, knees weakening. (Somewhere in the back of her head, she’s annoyed. It’s not even that cold, her body just seems to be spending its energy and heat in keeping the magic contained so everything feels colder than it should.)

When she comes back to herself, vision clearing up, she realizes that Remus is holding her by the arms. He’s speaking, but all she feels is pain and so his words are muffled. The frantic panic on his eyes, however, is unmistakable.

“I’m okay,” she reassures him when the pain lessens and the cold diminishes and she regains the ability to speak.

At some point Remus had moved them near an alleyway. Away from prying eyes, she realizes. Her heart grows fonder.

Remus stays silent for a second, studying her face. He doesn’t look panicked anymore, but the concern lingers and it’s obvious that he doesn’t believe a word she’s saying. He opens his mouth and hesitates briefly before speaking, “You’re still ill, aren’t you?”

It’s evident the way he worries about having crossed a line because he cringes slightly as the words leave his mouth. She doesn’t blame him, even when they both know the other is sick (is that even what they are? sick?), they’ve never openly spoken about it. It’s always the flu, and that’s that.

She considers lying, but it feels wrong to do so. Remus understands what it’s like to be limited by something beyond your control in a way not many can, it makes it easier to be vulnerable, “Some of the symptoms linger.”

He nods and (Y/N) expects him to ask more about her condition, to press for an explanation, but he just reaches forward to cup her cheek.

“You had me worried there for a second.”

Her heart beats louder at the admission, at the genuine concern in his eyes.

“I’m alright now, really.”

Her hand reaches up. She places it over his, the action reassuring.

“Godric, you’re freezing.”

But he doesn’t flinch away. Instead, he reaches out and places both of her hands between his. The warmth of his skin is soothing. If he notices the way her fingers tremble, he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“You should’ve told me you weren’t feeling well,” Remus tells her, thumb running over the back of her hand in attempt to warm it. “We could’ve stayed in the castle—”

We.

He’s implying he would’ve stayed with her.

(Y/N) ignore the way that makes her heart race, the way she feels heat crawling to her cheeks.

“—played some magic chess or ransacked the kitchens.”

That snaps her out of whatever she’s feeling, the way he so nonchalantly suggests doing something that would most definitely end up with them getting detention. She spends so much time with him when he’s not around the other three that (Y/N) sometimes forgets he’s a marauder. Worst thing is, she would willingly accompany him to any adventure— risking detention and all— if he asked. She pushes that revelation to the back of her mind.

“You talk about raiding the kitchens as if you’ve done it before,” she teases.

She ignores just how handsome he looks, wind blowing his hair back and a smirk beginning to decorate his features.

“Maybe I have,” he replies cheekily, winking.

She rolls her eyes, somewhat amused.

(Y/N) isn’t surprised, if anyone would be able to find their way into the kitchens it would be the marauders.

They fall quiet and some of the previous tension returns. Remus’s face grows more serious.

He tugs gently at her hands, “Promise me you’ll tell me if you’re ever feeling unwell?”

She looks down at their joined fingers, observes the way his thumb keeps on caressing her hand, and turns her attention back at him, “Only if your promise the same thing in return.”

And at that Remus looks conflicted. He presses his lips together and looks away before sighing and nodding. His gaze returns to hers, “Promise.”

“Promise.”

“You want to head back to the castle?” He asks her as they make their way back to the main street.

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” he looks at her and grins, “We might still have time to play some magic chess.”

She groans playfully, bumping her shoulder against his. “You know I’m terrible.”

“Exactly the reason I proposed it.”

Remus never let go of her hand, not once in all the way back to the castle. He keeps them intertwined, hidden in the pocket of his jacket.

This might be love, she thinks to herself, and maybe if she wasn’t dying she would do something about the feelings that are lazily brewing in her heart, but she can’t because that wouldn’t be fair to him.

She’s so wrapped in those thoughts that she doesn’t realize specks of her magics slipping though, she doesn’t realize that as she holds his hand the bone-chilling cold dissipates into nothingness.

3.1

(Y/N) wouldn’t say she’s a worrier. She takes things in stride, goes along with whatever life throws her way. Maybe if she hadn’t been born with her condition she would’ve been different, but life has taught her that worrying won’t help at all. When healers tell you that your life expectancy is twenty nothing really phases you anymore.

So, yes, (Y/N) wouldn’t say she’s a worrier, but that only applies to things concerning to herself. When it comes to her friends— to Remus, especially —she can’t help but worry at the first sign that something is wrong and, right now, it appears that something is very wrong.

Last night was a full moon and, as usual, she’d gone to the Infirmary first thing in the morning to check up on Remus, but he hadn’t been there and neither had Madam Pomfrey. (Y/N) couldn’t help the way her first thought had been that something had gone terribly wrong, bad enough that the matron couldn’t heal it herself, and he had to be taken to St. Mungo’s and now her heart is stuttering in her chest and she has to make sure he’s alright and that’s the only reason she’s making her way to the Gryffindor table. If there’s anyone who can have answers is the marauders.

Black notices her coming their way, bumps his best friend in the arm. James is a bit startled, but looks up, nonetheless. Suddenly they both are wearing matching wicked smiles.

“Is Remus okay?” she asks before either of them can open their mouth. If there’s something she’s learned about the marauders is that it’s always better to have control of the conversation.

Potter and Black share a knowing look, and it’s Sirius the one that answers. He rests his cheek against his hand, “Good morning to you, (Y/L/N). How are you doing on this fine day?”

“Yeah, yeah, morning, Black.” She manages to not roll her eyes at him and instead crosses her arms over her chest, foot tapping impatiently on the floor. “Is he okay?”

“He’s fine, why do you ask?”

“Are you maybe worried about him?” Potter interrupts, voice taking a teasing tone.

She wants to strangle them both. She would, but then she wouldn’t get answers.

“Where is he?” she’s surprised she manages to keep the exasperation off her tone.

“We aren’t always together, you know.” That’s both a deflection and a flat out lie.

She sighs out, shoulders deflating, “Look, yesterday was a…”

That catches their attention and she realizes her mistake too late. They don’t know that she knows. James stops chewing, Sirius straightens up. Their eyes are unwavering and the initial cheeky friendliness is gone. They might be jokesters but they’re also unbelievably perceptive and fiercely protective and it shows.

“Yesterday he said something about not feeling well,” she corrects herself. Potter relaxes but Black’s gaze remains on her, unwavering and somewhat untrusting. Like he’s measuring her up, figuring out how much she knows.

“He wasn’t feeling well,” Potter confirms, swallowing some pumpkin juice, “and that’s why he spent the night at the Infirmary.”

“He wasn’t there when I went to check up on him,” she replies, eyebrows scrunching up when she notices them share a look of confusion.

Then, they proceed to have a brief wordless conversation before muttering lowly between each other, as if she isn’t there. Their voices are almost a whisper and only catches the words because she’s had years of experience being nosy and eavesdropping on conversations between her parents and mediwizards.

“Do you think Madam Pomfrey discharged him earlier?”

“Last night was different, Prongs, wasn’t it? He was more present, more docile. He didn’t even have injuries.”

“That’s true.”

She waits for them to turn to her, but they don’t. Instead, they have another wordless conversation, all eyes, no words.

Black turns to her. Potter goes back to his food.

“He’s probably resting in the Common Room.”

“He likes to read in the couch after, well, rough nights.”

And despite knowing he’s okay something within her still itches with the need to see him and make that assessment for herself.

They’re both still looking at her, as if waiting for something else, but she doesn’t have anything more to say so she just nods her head, “Okay, thanks.”

As she goes to leave, Potter calls out to her, “Hey, (Y/L/N)!”

She turns and raises her eyebrows expectantly. Potter shares a look with Black before saying, “The password is Oddsbodikins.”

That she hadn’t expected and the surprise must show on her face because Potter chuckles.

He munches on some toast and waves his hand dismissively, “Go see your man.” The smile lingers and it’s softer than anything she’s ever seen in Potter’s face— except, perhaps, when he’s looking at Evans.

She’s grateful enough that she doesn’t roll her eyes at them, doesn’t even correct James.

“Thank you.”

3.2

Technically speaking, they should be studying— the NEWTs are closing up on them and even though there’s still time (Y/N) knows that she should at least begin revising —but they’d spent the last four days drowning in assignments and she’s decided she would much rather enjoy the last moments of freedom with Remus.

They’re sitting in the shadow of one of the trees by the Black Lake. (Y/N) is reading one of those muggle romance books that Remus got her hooked on and somewhere along the line Remus’s head ended up in her lap. She holds the book with a single hand, the other one running through her friend’s hair absentmindedly.

He looks calm, eyes closed and steady breathing. The bags under his eyes have slowly become less prominent and he doesn’t seem as tired as he used to be when the full moon was a few days away. He’s humming under his breath, it’s probably a muggle song because it doesn’t sound familiar at all, and the sound is soothing, it caresses her skin and floats away with the wind.

(Y/N) flips the page using her thumb. Her other hand appears to have a mind of its own because it travels from Remus’s hair down his cheek, fingers gently stroking the skin. It’s only when her hand meets rugged skin and Remus flinches that she moves her hand away, immediately looking down at him.

The scar, she realizes. She’d just touched the scar that runs along his left eye.

“I’m sorry,” she rushes out, but he only shakes his head and, without even opening his eyes, his hand looks out for hers. He places it back on his cheek.

Hesitantly, she smoothly thumbs at the wounded skin. This time he doesn’t move away, just sighs.

“Does it still hurt?”

It shouldn’t, the wound is years old and appears to be healed, but magical wounds are different, sometimes traces of the magic remain and when those traces are powerful enough they can cause recurring pain.

“No,” his voice is deep and rough, somewhat drowsy, like he’d been halfway through falling asleep.

“It’s ugly, isn’t it?” he asks after a couple of minutes of silence. She can’t help the sharp intake of breath, the way her eyebrows furrow at his words. Nothing in Remus could ever be ugly.

“I don’t think it is,” she replies, and the sentence comes out in a hushed whisper, like it only matters if his ears are the ones to hear it. She traces the skin, notices the slight blush that begins to cover Remus’s cheeks. “I think it’s a visible reminder of your strength.”

Part of her wants to reach down and kiss the damaged skin. She manages to abstain herself.

He lets out a self-deprecating scoff, “You wouldn’t believe that if you knew how I got it.”

His eyes remain closed and (Y/N) is somewhat grateful, she doesn’t think she could manage to see the self-loathing that sometimes paints his irises.

“I don’t have to know,” she responds firmly, fingers tracing the wound from where it starts on his forehead all the way across his eyebrow and his eyelid and his cheekbone. “You went through something, whatever it was, and managed to survive. That’s strength, Rem.”

He surprises her by catching her hand once again without the need to open his eyes. He links their fingers together, presses the back of her hand against his lips and then holds it over his chest.

Her heart stutters and she feels some of her magic tremble within her chest, wanting to slip through her fingers. A tiny amount of it does, it seeps through her and into his palm. She feels warm. With much effort she reels it back in and ignores the throbbing at the back of her head, the one that comes along with keeping her magic in check.

Remus’s voice brings her back, anchors her to the present. “I want to tell you how I got it,” he admits slowly, eyes finally looking up at her, “but I’m afraid you’ll see me differently.”

“I would never.” And its earnest and truthful and she hopes he can hear that in her tone. In case he doesn’t she squeezes his hand in assurance.

They stare at each other for some seconds. The book she previously held is now abandoned on the floor. Her hand, the one that isn’t intertwined with his, runs through his hair. Remus nibbles on his lower lip, hesitant and most likely debating if he should say anything at all, before he squeezes back.

“I got it when I was five,” he starts. His voice is low, quiet, meant only for her. His eyes stay trained on her face, waiting for any reaction. “It was given to me by a werewolf,” and although she knew she can’t help the way her breath catches at the back of her throat at the admission, “along with the bite.”

He stares expectantly, braces himself as if expecting some sort of disgust. Instead, she offers him a smile, “I was right, then. It is a visible reminder of your strength.”

That was obviously not what he’d been expecting because his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“You’re not scared?”

“Why would I be?”

“I’m a monster and—”

She cuts him off because she won’t have that, she will absolutely not stand for Remus Lupin badmouthing himself.

“You’re not a monster. You’re Remus Lupin, an incredible talented wizard that just so happens to turn into a werewolf every full moon.”

And that seems to appease him, shoulders relaxing.

“I’m scared all the time,” he admits, looking away and into the Black Lake, “of hurting people I care about. I’m scared I’ll somehow end up hurting you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

When he doesn’t look convinced, she removes her hand from his and places them over his cheeks. She forces him to look at her.

“You wouldn’t,” she repeats because she needs him to understand that she isn’t afraid of him. It isn’t until he nods his head that she releases the hold, thumbs running over his cheeks.

“Besides, anything could hurt me.”

My own magic does, she thinks to herself.

“So you don’t mind?” he asks, voice hopeful. “Me being a… you know.”

“You’re still my Rem.” The words slip out without thought, devastatingly honest.

He blushes again and she has to bite her lips to keep herself from commenting on how beautiful the red in his cheeks makes him look. She doesn’t say a word when he reaches for her hand again.

“Good.”

It’s quiet after that. She doesn’t pick up the book again, even when she was just getting to the best part, and instead basks on the afternoon sun. The throbbing of her head reappears but it isn’t a warning for an upcoming episode, it’s just pain. These days she’s getting a lot of that. (Y/N) looks down at Remus— someone who’d just laid his soul bare for her and had trusted her enough to not hurt him —and suddenly she’s speaking.

“I was supposed to have a twin sister,” she starts and the only reason she knows he’s paying attention is the way he shuffles and the feeling of his eyes on her. “But she died in the womb early on.” It’s weird, missing someone she never met, but (Y/N) does. She yearns for what could’ve been and what she could’ve had, a normal childhood, a lifetime companion.

With a sigh, she carries on, “By the time she passed we’d both already developed our magical cores and, somehow, my core absorbed hers. I carry within me both her magic and mine.” Every single healer she’d ever visited had been absolutely astounded, shocked beyond belief, because this should’ve never happened. According to every single magical law, magic dies with its user, magic cannot be taken away, magic cannot be transferred.

“Isn’t that… impossible?” Remus asks quietly.

“Theoretically, yes,” she lets out a humorless chuckle, “and yet here I am.”

And that was pretty much the reason she kept her condition a secret, because people looked at her differently after they found out (some in awe, as if she were some sort of medical miracle, some in fear of her potential, some with greed). If people— the wrong people —were to find out, she could find herself being studied in attempts to replicate what her magical core had done, to be able to steal someone else’s magic.

“It’s the reason I have an affinity to wand related magic and why I can do more complicated spells. There’s just more magic running through my veins,” she explains, her eyes fixed on some students playing by the shore of the lake. It’s easier to say things when she focuses on something else, like the way a second-year pinches a tentacle and runs away giggling when the squid splashes her in retaliation.

“The thing about magic in excess is that it’s volatile,” her tone becomes tense without her meaning to, so she sighs and forces herself to relax. “I can keep it controlled most of the time, simmering below the surface,” as if to disagree, the magic lurches forward and she clenches her jaw to keep it contained, “but sometimes it’s too much, too uncontrolled, and I lose my grasp on it. It’s like my body goes into overdrive. Best case scenario I have seizing episodes, worst case I seize and lose complete control of my magic. It can be incredibly dangerous.”

With that she looks down at Remus and finds him already looking at her. He’s deep in thought, which is understandable seeing that she is one of the most confusing medical cases in magic history, and Remus is nothing if not curious.

“You talk about your magical core as something you can feel,” he says and that’s a question she’d been expecting because magical cores aren’t a topic many wizards and witches have knowledge of.

“I can sense it,” she explains, not knowing how to word it other than that, “but it’s dormant on most magical beings, just a source of magic.”

He hums in understanding.

“Thank you for sharing it with me.”

She runs her fingers through his face and taps his cheeks twice in response.

(Y/N) swallows down the guilt of not telling him that she thinks she’s dying.

chapter 4: the marauders (and their need to stick their noses in everyone’s business)

4.0

Somehow being friends with Remus translates in being friends with all the marauders. It’s interesting, to say the least.

She goes from being exasperated by James and Sirius to being fondly exasperated by them. They worm their way under her skin and into her heart and— Merlin, she can’t believe she’s saying this —she grows to enjoy their company. She gets used to their jokes, teases them back, pretends not to hear them plotting how to break twenty school rules in one night.

It’s only because she’s grown a tolerance to their presence that she hasn’t snapped at either of them, hasn’t even rolled her eyes, even when they’re interrupting her study time.

“Don’t you like him, (Y/N)?”

They’ve been nagging at her for ten minutes, after growing bored of writing their own Potion’s essays. She’d thought ignoring them would make them eventually stop, but she should’ve known better; they are the marauders, after all.

It’s not after Sirius has repeated the question for the thirteenth time— they took turns asking, like the annoying children they are —that she sighs and decides to reply. Not even looking up and while she scrabbles a word, she says, “Of course I do.”

James clicks his tongue. She doesn’t have to look up to know that he’s leaning back in the chair and sharing an amused look with Sirius.

“See that’s what we’ve been trying to tell Moony.”

Merlin, she knows that tone and she knows where this is going. They’ve gone down this line of questioning with her a couple of times because, surprising to no one, they like to pry.

“Does he think I don’t like him?” she asks blankly and somewhat sarcastically, because she knows what they’re both implying but is decidedly not going to play their game.

“No, he knows you like him,” James assures her. He quiets down for a second and (Y/N) knows she’s not going to like whatever leaves his mouth next. James gets quiet when he’s plotting. “He doesn’t know you like like him.”

That makes her look up, unimpressed. “Never said I liked liked him,” she mocks.

Looking down to her writing and then back to the book of Advanced Potion-Making, she realizes she needs the fourth volume of Asiatic Anti-Venoms and pushes away from the table to go look for it. She lets out a deep breath when she hears them follow behind her. They’re like garden gnomes, impossible to get rid of.

“But you do,” Sirius singsongs from behind her, voice filled with mirth and amusement. It’s like her annoyance is his serotonin.

“Never said I did,” she parrots back, using his same tone. Her eyes trace the book and she hums to herself when she finds it.

Sirius is faster and slaps her hand away, reaching for the book. (Y/N) looks up at him, holds her hand out but Black only tuts and holds it up, far from reach.

“Come on, love, you’re a terrible liar,” James leans against the bookcase, watching as (Y/N) crosses her arms over her chest and smolders at Sirius.

“I’m not lying,” she responds, not sparing Potter a glance. “Come on, Black, give it here.”

“You might have a good poker face (Y/N), but your eyes give you away.”

“Please do refrain from staring into my eyes, Potter.”

James begins denying ever staring at her but she pays him no mind, eyes trained on Sirius.

“Black, I swear I’ll hex you into next life.” She presses her wand against his abdomen for good measure.

“Fine, fine,” he relents, not sounding in the slightest frightened by her threat. The smirk is still on his lips. “You might not be lying but you are deflecting,” Black tells her as he hands the book over, “and you’re also terrible at it.”

Scoffing, she looks at both of them, “Why are you two ganging up on me?”

“It’s fun,” James admits with a laugh, following behind her back to their table.

“And we want you to admit you like Moony so that you can be together and happy and all that,” Sirius completes the sentence.

Rolling her eyes, she plops back in her chair and forces herself to ignore their words. She won’t allow herself to go down that train of thought— about Remus and her and what could be —because it never ends up in anything but sadness. Instead, she opens the book and starts looking for the information she needs to finish her essay. When they remain quiet she looks up (quiet marauders are plotting marauders) only to find them looking at her expectantly.

“What?”

“So?”

“Will you confess and all that?”

Snorting, she goes back to the book, “You need to stop meddling in things that aren’t your business.”

Someone slams their head against the table. (Y/N) guesses it’s Sirius.

“She’s impossible, Prongs.”

She hides the proud smirk that grows on her face. Nothing makes her happier than annoying either of them.

“Look,” she does not look up, but James continues, “He likes you, (Y/L/N), and you like him, literally everyone can see it. So why can’t either of you accept it?”

Her hand stills as she flips the page.

“It’s complicated, Potter.”

I’m dying.

“So you do like him!”

She kicks Sirius under the table, but his teasing smile only widens.

“Oh, piss off, Black.”

“She so does, Prongs,” he mock-whispers to James.

(Y/N) kicks him harder on the shin but doesn’t deny it.

4.1

It was a bad day. (Y/N) knew it would be a bad day from the moment she opened her eyes to find colors swirling in her vision and a headache already forming at the back of her head. She, however, did not expect it to become a terrible day. Then again, life never goes the way she expects, and her bad day became terrible the moment her Divination professor told her he wouldn’t allow late assignments, even if she was submitting the assignment late because she’d been unconscious during the delivery date.

She’s upset and the headache won’t go away, and her fingers are beginning to lose sensation due to the coldness spreading from within her body. There’s nothing she wants to do other than slip under her covers and sleep for the whole duration of the weekend and yet, here she is. In detention. Because she didn’t hand in her assignment. Because she’d been unconscious.

To make matters worse she’s accompanied by Potter and Black— who are still going on about her and Remus and are apparently determined on making her life miserable. Now, on a good day, she would humor them, but this is turning out to be an incredible terrible day, she’s lightheaded and in pain and she will snap at them if they send one more ball of parchment flying in her direction.

Which, of course, they do.

“Fucking cut it off.”

The matching gasps are dramatic and followed by chuckles.

“I’ve never heard you cuss before, (Y/L/N).” Potter says in mock surprise, smirking widely when she flips him off.

“It’s madly attractive, I must admit.”

(Y/N) moves her middle finger in Black’s direction.

“Just messing with you, love,” Sirius leans back in his chair, a teasing smile taking over as he adds, “I know your heart belongs to our beloved Moony.”

There they go with that again.

She knows they’re just messing around, being dumb and intrusive as they usually are, but for some reason the words resonate differently with her this time. She wants to scream out, let herself feel all the love her heart harbors, act out on the desire of pressing her lips against Remus’s, but she can’t. That would be selfish, like offering a freezing person a fire that will die out as soon as they come close enough to feel the heat. She can’t do that to him, she cares too much.

Merlin, she wishes she wasn’t dying.

Pulling her sweater closer around her and crossing her arms over her chest, she cuts their rambling off, “Look, I think it’s better for everyone if Remus and I remain friends.”

And there must be a seriousness in her tone that hadn’t been there before, some sort of look in her eyes that she can’t control, because her words stun them into silence.

“Why?”

She doesn’t know how to explain why, it’s much too complicated, so she babbles out, “I— He— We just wouldn’t work out.”

“Why not?”

“Because, James.”

James studies her for a minute and he apparently dislikes whatever he finds because his features become stony. “It’s because of his condition, isn’t it?” All the teasing is gone, replaced by slowly growing anger.

She frowns, confused as to how he’d arrived at that very wrong conclusion. Her eyes trail from Potter to Black, the latter is looking at her unblinking, waiting for some sort of revelation.

“It’s not—”

But it seems like James Potter is quick to anger, especially when it comes to his friends, because he cuts her off and keeps on pressing, tone nothing but curt, “Moony told us you knew and he said you were okay with it but you’re obviously not.”

His voice rises, the lightheaded feeling she had slowly becomes a pounding headache.

“It has nothing to do—”

“It obviously has everything to do with it,” he’s breathing heavy, leaning forward on the chair, “why else would you say you rather remain friends when your pining is painfully obvious!”

“It’s complicated.”

“No, it isn’t,” he lowers his voice but the words are lethal and cutthroat, “You like him, and he likes you, but you want it easy.”

And all the semblance of calmness she has disappears at those words. Her sentence comes out cold and with spite, “You don’t know a thing about me, Potter.”

“I know you’re a coward,” he spits out.

“Prongs…”

Sirius’s warning goes ignored.

“He cares for you, a lot, and you can’t be with him because of, what?” he scoffs, “a condition he has no control over?”

Maybe it’s the rising anger or the increasingly painful headache, or the way Potter is looking at her with such misplaced disgust, that she snaps back, “It’s not about his condition, it’s about mine!”

The words echo around the classroom. James flinches back like he’s been slapped.

“What?”

(Y/N) presses her thumb against her temple, trying to soothe the pain away. “I’m sick,” she sighs out, closing her eyes and pressing her finger harder against her skin. The pain builds up and when she releases her finger it’s as if the pressure bubbles away. “Really sick,” she emphasizes because she doesn’t want to exemplify (most days I wake up nauseous and lightheaded, I can’t keep my food down, I’m growing weaker by the day, I feel cold even in the hottest days, the migraines make me unable to function, the episodes are more frequent than ever) but she needs them to understand it isn’t just a casual flu.

Both Sirius and James are staring at her in concern. The look doesn’t suit their faces, ones that are usually filled with life and mischief, so she waves them off, “It’s fine.”

It isn’t.

“I am sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t… I thought—”

“You’re an arsehole, James, and way too quick to anger,” he cringes at that, looking down. “But I get where you were coming from. You’re an arsehole with a good heart” He huffs out an incredulous laugh at that and looks up to find a warm smile sent his way.

(She’s never been one to hold grudges, life’s too short for that.)

“We’re good.”

chapter 5: on death’s door

5.0

The smell of citrus is so potent that it catches her by surprise, head reeling back and nose scrunching up. It’s only when she realizes that there are no oranges or lemons or anything in the table that would be able to produce such a strong smell that she grasps what’s going on. It’s an aura, one strong enough that it didn’t slowly make its presence known but rather appear out of nowhere.

She stands up quickly, only briefly stumbling, before rushing out of the Great Hall. It takes everything in her power to keep the panic from appearing in her face. (Y/N) only ever smells citrus when the episode it’s going to be a bad one— like the time she lost complete control and burnt her body and the time she’d remained unconscious for five days.

Pressure begins building up between her eyebrows and it’s a good thing she knows her way through Hogwarts blindfolded because her vision starts to blur out. Her knees weaken, she holds onto the walls to keep herself from falling to the floor. She must hurry and find an empty room, a place where she won’t cause damage to anyone else, because she definitely won’t make it to the Hospital Wing.

Her magic pulls hard and her chest constricts in pain, she can feel it slowly trailing down her arms, desperately needing to be released. She coughs as she feels everything tighten and there’s something in her mouth. She has half a mind to think that it may be blood.

Fisting her hands and stumbles forward. She feels all heat leave her extremities, her body’s attempt at keeping her magic restrained. The headache becomes a migraine, blindingly painful, and it’s accompanied by nausea. Everything is hazy and spiraling.

Tears well up in her eyes but the pain is too much, it won’t let them fall. (Y/N) feels herself falling forward, but her knees never hit the ground. There’s something holding her up.

With great effort, she turns her head around and even with the blackened edges of her vision and the mind-numbing pain she recognizes the face.

Remus Lupin.

There’s a brief moment of relief before the logical side of her brain catches on and then there’s full blown panic because if he’s with her when she loses all control of her magic he will undoubtedly get hurt. She tries to push him away but her arms are too weak. He’s saying something but the words sound far away and like gibberish, it’s like hearing a language she doesn’t understand.

She tries to move her mouth and form words, tell him that he needs to get away from her, that she needs to be away from everyone. She isn’t sure she’s successful.

Her ears are ringing, her magic is restless, her hands become cold enough to hurt. She feels the familiar tensing of her muscles and she’s submerged into blackness.

5.1

It feels like her brain and body are disconnected. She hears voices, rapid and hushed whispers. The words don’t make sense.

“Is she going to—”

“Her magic— too much—”

“There was blood and—”

Hands are one her. Her magic tingles in her chest, reacting to someone else’s magic. Everything fades.

The tugging of her magic core makes her regain consciousness. She can feel the threads of magic slipping down her shoulders and through her fingers. (Y/N) tries to move, but she can’t. It’s as if her bones are made of lead and her muscles of jelly. Her body doesn’t respond. She can’t feel any pain, but that’s probably just the potions.

“What’s happening?”

“Calm down, Mr. Lupin—”

“Should I—”

“Do not let go of—”

“I’d never seen—”

She loses consciousness before realizing that, for once, the magic leaking through her fingers isn’t uncontrolled.

Someone is holding her hand, that’s the first thing she realizes as she comes to. Second thing she realizes is that she isn’t cold. For the first time in a while, it doesn’t feel like her body is freezing, there’s heat steadily running through her.

Her brain takes a while to catch up and suddenly she remembers everything. The pain, the blood, Remus.

She bolts up, coughing out as her body protests to the sudden movement. She might not be cold, but she’s still weak.

“Hey, hey.”

Wide eyes look around in panic and they settle on the person who’s holding her hand. Remus. He has moved up from where he sat and is gently guiding her back to a supine position.

“You shouldn’t move,” he chastises, but his tone is gentle and his eyes evidently filled with concern.

“Are you okay?” she forces the words out and they sound something like a rough whisper.

His eyes snap up to hers in surprise, “Me?”

At her responding nod Remus shakes his head, “You are unbelievable,” his eyes look fond, “You almost died and you’re worried about me?”

When she only stares, eyebrows raised and eyes looking for any sign of visible damage in his face, he sighs, “I’m alright, love,” and plops back down on the chair.

(Y/N) doesn’t understand how he’s okay, she doesn’t know why he’s here and why he’s allowed to hold her hand even when there are traces of magic floating all around them. She blinks, watching the multicolored streams of pure magic travel around her. They don’t feel rampant but rather gentle.

Remus squeezes her hand, presses the back of her hand against his mouth and mumbles against it, “I was so worried, you wouldn’t know. You were bleeding and seizing and I…” he chokes on the words, “I thought you’d died.”

(Y/N) looks away from her magic and at him, ready to provide any sort of comfort, and that’s when she realizes that her magic is running down her own arm and into his. Frightened of hurting him, she tries to pull away, but Remus holds tight.

“Don’t,” Madam Pomfrey’s voice startles her. (Y/N) looks around to the source of the sound and finds the matron looking worse for wear. Nevertheless, there’s a glint of relief in her eyes.

“My magic—” she tries to protest, to explain, but is shushed with a single look.

“Mr. Lupin is what kept you alive.”

(Y/N) looks between both of her companions, confusion evident in her face, “What?”

“Drink this,” Madam Pomfrey hands over a vial and (Y/N) takes it with her free hand. It’s as she’s swallowing down the contents that the matron behinds to explain.

“Due to his own medical condition Mr. Lupin’s magical core acts differently to those of other witches and wizards.” That makes sense, (Y/N) guesses, but her brain is working in slow motion so this doesn’t explain anything to her at all. She looks at Remus and finds him already looking at her. “It’s acting as an outlet for you excess of magic.”

Her eyes snap back to the matron’s in surprise, “Really?” When she’d been nothing but a toddler she remembers some healers suggesting for her parents to find her a magical object in which she could channel her magic, they’d said it could be a way to manage her condition. Her magic had rejected every single object— regardless of how powerful it’d been or who it’d belonged to— and (Y/N) had been forced to learn how to keep the magic reigned in after one too many explosions.

Sentient beings aren’t supposed to be able to act as an outlet.

“And it doesn’t hurt you?” she asks Remus, studying his face for any sign of discomfort even when she can feel her magic being gentle with him.

“It barely even tickles,” he responds.

She looks at Madam Pomfrey with raised eyebrows because she must know this isn’t normal.

“The alteration in Mr. Lupin’s core allows it to harness your magic,” the matron explains.

“I think it even helps,” Remus adds and it sounds as if he’s just come to this realization, “My last transformation was my least violent one. It might be because of the time we’ve spent together.”

(Y/N) briefly remembers magic going out of her fingers and into his palm.

“Some of my magic slipped through the day we spent by the Black Lake. It went right into your hand before I could pull it back in,” she confesses, sounding apologetic. “I didn’t tell you because it was such a minimal amount I knew it wouldn’t harm you.”

“It appears like your magical cores are compatible.”

(Y/N) doesn’t know how she feels at that revelation.

5.2

Remus didn’t tell the marauders about (Y/N)’s magical illness, much less utter a word about their magical cores being compatible, so he really has no clue how they found out about either of those things. He’d asked them about it when they first brought it up, eyes going wide in surprise, but Prongs had only winked in response while Padfoot had pretended to sip his mouth shut.

“Your magical cores accept each other, Moony!” And this is probably only the fifth time Sirius has said this exact sentence, but Remus feels as if he’s heard it a thousand times before. He wishes they would stop repeating it because his mind has been spiraling ever since he found out, ever since Madam Pomfrey told them that (Y/N) needs to release some of her magic into him at least once a day to try and reduce the frequency of her episodes, to try to help her recover. They haven’t talked about it. They’ll sneak out through the Whomping Willow and into the Shrieking Shack every night and she’ll look away as her magic turns to life, wild and vibrant, and sneaks down her arm and into his. It’s like the revelation of the compatibility of their magic cores has shifted something in their friendship and Remus hates it. She feels distant even when they spend every second of the day together.

“It’s like… Merlin… like you’re soulmates or something.”

That makes Lupin still mid-action.

“We’re not soulmates, Pads,” he clears his throat, shakes his head and ignores the pointed look Sirius sends all the way from where he’s lying on his bed. “She’s a friend.”

Sirius scoffs at that and turns his attention to Prongs, who’s lying face down and skimming through a Quidditch book.

“Do you hear this guy, Prongs?” He points at Remus with his thumb and incredulous look in his eyes.

“Sounds like he’s delusional and in denial,” replies James without even looking up.

Remus rolls his eyes at that, ignoring the yelp of agreement that Sirius lets out.

“She’s a friend,” he repeats, trying to get it through his thick-skulled friends. (Because they could never be more than that, no matter how much he yearns for it. It’d be selfish to keep her from finding someone better, someone who isn’t tarnished.)

Prongs lets out a chuckle, “Sure, because you obviously hold hands with all your friends.”

“I… we don’t…”

“And walk them to their lessons,” Pads chimes in.

“And carry their books while doing so,” Prongs adds.

“I’m being chivalrous!”

“If you say so.”

“And, of course, I write all my friends little love letters that I keep hidden on the chest under my bed. Don’t you, Prongs?”

“‘Course I do,” James replies sarcastically.

“I told you to stop snooping through my things!” Remus’s indignation is ignored.

“Let’s not forget about gifting them muggle romance books because they’re obsessed with them and you think ‘it’s cute the way they smile’,” and Sirius changes the tone in which he says the last words making it somewhat deeper. Remus thinks to himself that his voice does not sound like that.

“I hate it when you gang up on me.”

“Funny,” Sirius grins, “that’s exactly what (Y/N) says when we annoy her. See, you even think alike!”

“Alright, knock it off, I get it,” Remus closes his eyes and sighs, “I’m hopeless.”

“You’re not hopeless, Moony,” James responds, his voice losing its teasing edge and becoming gentler.

“You’re in love,” Sirius teases, snickering.

Remus glares at him and before Padfoot can even blink there’s a pillow hitting him in the face.

“I’m joking, I’m joking” Pads says, not sounding apologetic at all, as he holds his hands up and dodges another pillow Remus sends his way. When he’s sure he won’t be getting smacked in the face he grins and says, “Things could be worse, at least she likes you.”

“As a friend, sure.”

His friends’ heads snap towards him.

James looks up so quickly from what he’d been reading that it looks comical, “You’re kidding, right?”

Remus shrugs as he shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Why are they looking at him as if he’s just grown another head?

“You’ve got to be the most obtuse person I’ve ever met.” Coming from Sirius it’s a pretty terrible thing to hear.

“What do you mean?”

“Moony,” and this is probably the most serious he’s ever heard Prongs be, “she looks at you as if you hung up the moon and the stars.”

“She does not—”

But Sirius has grown exasperated and cuts him off, “She does. Literally everyone is waiting to see when you’ll get together. There are bets going around and all.”

Remus shakes his head and ignores the part of him that is suspicious as to who started all those wagers.

“Look, it doesn’t matter if she likes me or not,” he ignores the way his chest hurts as he finally admits to someone other than himself, “I can never be with her, not with my condition.”

“Moony…”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” The more he thinks of (Y/N) the more he wishes things were different, that he was never bitten so that he could be worthy of her. He turns around and pulls the covers over his shoulder, “Good night.”

He misses the look Prongs and Padfoot share.

chapter 6: the masterplan

6.0

“James Potter I will hex you into oblivion is you don’t let us out right now!”

(Y/N) hears muffled whispers,

(“I don’t wanna die, Pads.”

“You won’t if everything goes according to plan.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“We die together, I guess.”)

before the answer comes back, clear as day, “We won’t let you out until you sort your things out.”

She sighs and turns around to meet Remus’s eyes.

“I tried,” she offers with a shrug, going back to her position on the floor besides him.

The storage closet is tiny and crowded, she holds her knees to her chest, the outer part of her thigh brushing against Remus’s elbow. There’s a squeak somewhere in the background, a sound that sounds suspiciously like a mouse. She breaths heavily though her nose and begins planning the marauders’ demise— current company excluded, of course.

“I can’t believe I fell for it,” she admits to Remus when she’s satisfied with the plan that surges in her brain for how to retaliate on the marauders.

There’d been a letter on her bed with only four words; fourth floor, 10:30 pm, tomorrow. The writing had been so unmistakably Remus’s that she hadn’t had a reason to suspect otherwise until she’d arrived at the spot only to be blindfolded and consequently pushed into this place.

Remus chuckles, “I can’t believe I fell for it.”

And, yes, it’s probably worse that he fell for it because he supposedly knows every single play in the marauders’ playbook.

From the corner of her eye she watches as he plays with the end of a broom. It’s a Silver Arrow— (Y/N) only knows that because her father is a fanatic — and it’s old and dusty and looks like it would snap in half if someone were to ride it. She can’t see the broom’s magic, but she feels it in the way her magic twirls uncomfortably in her chest. Being close to magical objects is a tricky matter for her, she never knows the way her excess of magic will react, so she tends to keep away from them. Right now, she can feel a headache beginning to bloom and the only reason she isn’t worried is because the broom is too old to hold powerful traces of magic, a headache is probably the worst thing that can happen.

“Your head hurts?”

It’s only when Remus speaks that she realizes her eyebrows are pinched together in discomfort. She forces her face to relax, but answers truthfully, “A bit.”

“Give me your hand.” He twists around to face her and offers his hand, palm up.

“Remus…” The words come out tentative, but that doesn’t deter him. His palm remains open, hand firm.

“We’re going to be locked up here for Godric knows how long,” he responds, “and we were going to do this later tonight, anyways.”

He’s right and that’s the reason she reaches down to take his hand in hers.

Immediately, as if her magical core detects his, her magic uncurls from where she keeps it reigned in her chest. It swoops all the way from her chest, down her arm and into her fingertips, mighty and bright. It’s mesmerizing, the mesh of colors and the palpable feeling of power, and she’s filled with warmth when the strands of magic curl around Remus’s wrist and into his skin.

She looks away.

“Why do you do that?”

“What?” she asks, even when she’s knows the answer.

“Look away from me.”

He’s got it wrong. She’s not looking away from him (she could never look away from him), she’s looking away from her own magic. There’s so much Remus doesn’t know, so much she hasn’t told him, and she can’t help the crippling guilt that fills her chest whenever he helps alleviate the pain.

“Rem, I have to tell you something,” the words are sudden and she feels like if she doesn’t speak them now, then she never will. Slowly, she looks back at him. “You’ve taken all of this in stride and I’m unbelievably grateful for how much you’ve helped me in the last couple of days, but I haven’t been completely truthful with you.”

He doesn’t seem hurt at that, only merely confused, “What do you mean?”

She breaths in through her nose and lets the words flow rapidly, feeling as if she doesn’t say them now then she never, “I’m dying.”

He stills, his hand tightening and his eyes desperately searching hers. His breath seems to stop for a split second when he doesn’t find any indication of jesting on her face.

“You’re what?” and he sounds breathless, words barely above a whisper.

“I’ve always known I wouldn’t live long. Most healers say I’ll be lucky if I make it past twenty,” she explains gently, trying to appease his worry. It doesn’t really seem to help. “My parents have looked desperately for any sort of solution but there’d never been one.”

He follows her eyes down to their intertwined hands.

Her magic tingles as it flows down her skin.

“Until me,” he breathes out in realization.

“Yes.”

“So you aren’t dying anymore,” he clarifies, watching as little specks of light start to flow out of the constant stream of magic pouring out of her.

“For now.”

His eyes snap back to her and the puzzlement is clear as day.

“This is just a temporary solution,” she confesses, “For it to work it would have to be done every day.”

“I would do this for the rest of my life it it keeps you alive.” His words are firm, coming straight from the heart, and she knows he means them.

(Y/N) shakes her head fondly, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do.”

“You don’t,” she repeats, firmer this time, because she’s been reading through tons of books and Remus really has no idea what he’s talking about. “Agreeing to this would mean agreeing to tying your life with mine. There’s a magical ritual that has to be done, a bonding of magical cores.”

And the implications appear to settle in because Remus’s eyes widen. This is advanced magic they’re talking about, ancient and complex. The bonding of cores is an archaic custom that nowadays is only ever done in marriages of pureblood families. It’s the most intimate magical tradition, it joins two people together for life and it allows them to borrow magic from their partner. It makes the bonded pair powerful in regards of their magic but also unbelievably vulnerable. The loss or separation of the pair can be fatal.

“I haven’t told my parents about this,” she gestures at their joined hands, “about you, even when Madam Pomfrey insists I do, because once they know they’ll end up persuading you of going through with the bonding and I wanted to give you a choice.”

Remus blinks at her and when he doesn’t speak she begins to ramble. “I’m sorry for not telling you before, it’s just that everything happened so fast and then I started looking into this core compatibility and I found this out and I didn’t know how to tell you. I don’t want you to think I was using you because I would never, I care so much about you and—”

“Hey, hey,” he hushes her and it’s a good thing because she thinks she might’ve kept on speaking for hours. His unoccupied hand comes to cradle her cheek, soothing all her worries away. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

He shakes his head and moves forward just enough to press his forehead against hers, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” His voice is equally as quiet.

(Y/N) finally lets go of the slight feeling of guilt that’d been chasing her the last couple of days.

They’re close, too close, his breath is steady and she can feel the way it breezes past her lips. Her heart begins to beat louder, the trail of magic down her arm slows down.

“Would it freak you out if I told you that I wouldn’t mind going through the bonding ritual?”

Her heart skips a beat at that.

She wants to back away and search his eyes, but she can’t, not when being this close to Remus feels this right.

“Do you mean that?”

“I love you,” he mumbles, words meant only for her ears. “I cannot bear the thought of losing you. Of course I mean it.”

This does make her back away in surprise. She finds nothing but candor and warmth in his eyes.

“You love me?” and it comes out quiet and disbelieving because this was not what she’d been expecting. She just told him how much of a burden she truly is and he replied with fondness and she can’t quite believe her ears.

“You couldn’t tell?” he smiles softly and (Y/N) swears her heart is going to beat out her chest. The traces of magic run warmer, gentler than before and much brighter.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t notice his love because she did— just the way she hopes he has noticed hers —but she always thought herself too selfish for wanting him. A small part of her feared to be rejected because she comes with stolen magic and pain. She tells him as much.

He breaths out a soft laugh, “I thought of myself as selfish because you deserve much more than a half-breed.”

“I want you.” Only Merlin knows how much she does.

(Y/N) doesn’t know who leans in first— maybe it’s her as she presses her free hand to his nape and pulls him forward, or maybe it’s him and the way he holds her cheek with such tenderness, maybe it’s both of them acting out at the same time —but the next thing she knows his lips are on hers.

The kiss is soft, gentle, unhurried even when they’ve waited a long time for this. Remus kisses with such intensity, even in calmness, that she can’t help the sigh that escapes her. She feels the way her magic clings onto him, untamed but controlled for the first time in her life, like it’s exactly where it’s meant to be.

chapter 7: epilogue

Everything hurts.

(Y/N) is used to that, the lingering headaches and muscle aches. They’ve been there for as long as she can recall.

What she isn’t used to, however, is waking up to a hand holding hers and the feeling of warmth enveloping her. The pain is rapidly subsiding, she can feel magic trailing down her arm.

The first thing her eyes see is Remus’s face, always mildly concerned after an episode but so unbelievably full of endearment.

She’s so so in love.

“Are you back with me?” he asks and even though his voice is soft she can hear it over the ringing of her ears. He caresses the back of her hand with his thumb, patiently waiting for her to regain the ability to communicate.

After a few minutes she manages to nod her head, squeezing his hand as an additional response.

“Don’t look so worried,” she rasps out when she doesn’t feel like her tongue is made of lead anymore. “It’s just the flu.”

#remus lupin #remus lupin fanfiction #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x y/n #marauders era #marauders era fanfic #marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #remus lupin x you #marauders x you #harry potter fanfiction #happyyyandcrazyyy writing

[cassieb1617]

Risky nights under the moon💌

Pairing: Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Angst

Summary: Submitted to the power of the full moon, Remus accidentally hurts the one person he swore to never hurt, how will they handle the complicated situation that takes place in Hogwarts‘ hospital wing?

Warnings: reader get injured but nothing too badly, Remus feels so bad about it, mentions of scars, language I think, let me know if there‘s more

A/N: this is probably far from canon because I honestly have no idea about werewolves but I hope you enjoy it anyway! And yes, in my head Poppy knows about the Marauders animagi abilities.

To be fair, you knew the risks. All of you did, Peter, Sirius, James and you. Remus knew you knew the risks too. Remus grew restless under the full moon, not that that is his fault. It was an accident and all of you knew that. Remus can‘t control himself when he‘s moony but he was always more gentle with you. Why Moony was that way no one knew but it started back in the middle of fifth year. The boys noticed that, of course they did, but they blamed it on the fact that the wolf can probably smell that you‘re a female not a male and he felt protective of you because of that. It didn‘t truly make sense but it was one explanation. Another one was James‘ theory. In his eyes it was all pretty clear. Remus was in love with you so Moony was as well but the problem in his theory? Remus hadn‘t realized how deeply in love with you he was.

Madam Pomfrey was by far the best mother-figure Remus ever had. His father hated werewolves and when Remus got bitten by one which resulted in him being one as well, his father had given him to an orphanage. Remus was only a kid, barely a kid actually when he lost his family through another man‘s revenge. Madam Pomfrey was caring about him since his first year at Hogwarts, she knew about his monthly trip in the woods and she tended his injuries with a care that only a mother had. She was also the only other person who knew about Remus‘ friends' little secret: that they are animagi. The woman had seen the worst of Remus‘ transitions, his first ones here in Hogwarts where he thought he would be alone and some where he came out with more scars littering his body than before. But this one was the messiest she had seen in all the six years the woman had known him. 

You came in the middle of the night to the hospital wing with Peter by your side, helping you to walk. The woman barely had time to recognize your pained cries and Peter‘s helpless shouts for help before she saw you two. Your arm was around his shoulder to help you not to fall down. There was a big slash across your thigh that reached downwards to your knee. The full moon was still not over but that wasn‘t Pomfrey‘s thought. She already had a theory on what happened and she certainly wasn‘t ready for the morning if the night already smelled like trouble. „It‘s a hard moon?“

At her question, you nodded numbly as she led you and Peter to the hospital bed, thanking every God out there that you were alone. „He- it was an accident but he slashed me, Poppy, it hurts. Please, make the pain go away!“ Your cries for help broke the poor woman‘s heart. She knew that you didn‘t just meet your pain but also Remus‘ pain of hurting you. Pomfrey had her wand out as she warned you, „This will hurt for a bit, my dear, but it will numb the pain.“ She muttered a spell and you hissed in pain, holding Peter‘s hand a tad tighter for comfort. The short boy bit his other fist as to not scream from you grip and shook his hands as you let go of his hand. 

„Oh, fuck! Sorry, Pete, didn‘t want to hurt you.“ Madam Pomfrey shook her head at your words, of course you would apologize to him when your leg got critically hurt. Pete waved his hand in dismissal and you smiled at the older healer, „Thanks, Poppy. It doesn‘t hurt anymore, you can work your magic now.“ The woman smiled at you and began healing you with spells, giving you a few potions against the pain and with that you called it a night, Peter sleeping on a neighborly hospital bed as you waited for the morning. 

Sirius and James were worried. They already predicted that this full moon would be a harder one, Remus was more stressed and more on edge the week before the night, far more than usual. They‘ve been helping the scarred boy on full moons since fifth year and they got hurt a lot, sometimes because Moony decided deer looked fascinating tasty that night or because a dog was a good playdate but Moony has never hurt you. Sweet you who cared so much about Remus that even Moony was protective of you. The pair of best friends knew the feelings that Remus held for you but on the first full moon they realized just how strong they were. Whenever Padfoot, Prongs or Wormtail came close to your animagus form, Moony would growl or even latch out, shielding you from the other guys. This time though you got hurt and your whole group knew that it was Moony. He didn‘t bite you but the scratching of his claws did enough damage. You were bleeding and Sirius and James would forever remember the moment Moony‘s eyes shifted as he realized he had hurt you, precious, loving you. 

Moony ran away after that, deeper into the woods and it was an agreement they made beforehand that if someone got hurt, Peter would go with them. It was nothing personal, obviously, but someone had to follow Remus and Peter was the smallest due to his animagus. This was the case this time, you got hurt so Peter helped you to the hospital wing as the two other boys followed the confused wolf into the forbidden forest. Remus was fast and more aggressive after he hurt you, Prongs and Padfoot almost got as hurt as you did as well but they always escaped in the last second before another critical injury was inflicted. 

In the morning, Remus, Sirius and James woke up in the Shrieking Shack again. Remus‘ memory was always vague after a night in the full moon but this time it wasn‘t. Remus can remember exactly the moment the night went into a disaster, the moment he hurt you. And not just a small scratch, no he slashed your thigh. The three boys knew that Madam Pomfrey would come in any minute to bring them to the hospital wing and Sirius and James were not prepared for the upcoming storm of emotion from Remus that they knew for sure would come any minute. They heard the footsteps from outside just as predicted and a few moments later Poppy opened the door and held her hand in with a few old clothes for Remus. Sirius stood up, took the clothes and thanked Madam Pomfrey as he handed them to the naked boy on the ground. James and Sirius turned around as he got dressed, helping him with his pants or sweater when needed. Madam Pomfrey stepped in when they gave her the ready and together, they brought the taller boy to the hospital wing, not yet ready for Remus‘ emotional outburst.  

The moment they stepped into the hospital wing, Peter was up on his feet to greet them. You would come too but Madam Pomfry told you to keep it easy and walk as little as possible. You watched as Sirius and James hovered him to the hospital bed next to you that didn‘t hold Peter moments before. James looked at you and you watched as his eyes drifted to your leg. His eyebrows raised slightly and his eyes moved back to yours, he motioned to help you to come over and you nodded. Remus was already lying in bed, Madam Pomfrey next to it and already tending his wounds. James helped you sit up as Sirius was pulling a chair for you next to Remus‘ bed. The two boys helped you up and into the chair, Peter getting your blanket and throwing it over you. You reached for Remus‘ hand as his wounds were treated by Madam Pomfrey. 

„How are you feeling?“ You asked the question as soon as Madam Pomfrey stepped away, eager to hear if the night got worse after you got injured or if things quieted down. Remus looked, understandably, tired. He had dark bags under his eyes and fresh wounds that were still fresh pink. His grip on your hand was weak but it was there, a sign of comfort coming over you. „Doesn‘t matter, how are you? I- I‘m so sorry that I hurt you. I don‘t know what‘s gotten into me-„ 

You interrupted him before he could even start blaming himself, the Marauders watching the interaction with heartbreak in their eyes. „Oh, Remus. It‘s not your fault and not Moony‘s either. You aren‘t you on the full moon and it‘s always a risk to go out with you and the rest in the nights. I know the risks of getting hurt and I did it anyway. It‘s not your fault, Remus. If anything, it‘s mine.“ 

The boy shook his head at you and tears gathered in his eyes. The three animagi next to you two looked at the scene in sadness. Whenever one of them got hurt on the full moon, Remus always believed it to be his fault. „I hurt you, I did that. You shouldn‘t even come to the full moon with us, with me, none of you should.“ 

James intervened with Remus‘ statement next, „Now, Moony, don‘t exaggerate the situation. She got hurt, yes, so did we all at one point but don‘t you realize that we help you a lot on those nights? You‘re a lot calmer and getting hurt is normal.“ The curly haired boy gestured to you, „It may seem bad now but Poppy‘ll fix her up in no time and she‘s gonna be alright again.“

„Listen, this is the first time you hurt her and she‘s tough, she‘ll get through this.“ Sirius' words made Remus flush slightly but the boy still looked as guilty as ever. 

„Remus, every other full moon you kind of, like, protect me. It‘s truly okay if you hurt me once. I may not be able to properly walk now but I will in no time. And anyway, I will have a badass scar on my leg now and imagine how cool it will be when someone asks for it: „How did you get the scar on your leg?“ - „Oh, I survived a werewolf attack!“ That‘s pretty badass isn‘t it? I almost have to thank you.“ Your giddy smile and words made the group smile and even Remus cracked his tense expression up a bit. You had imitated voices as you spoke and it helped let Remus lose a lot. You reached your hand out to smother his brow, „I‘m going to be OK, Remus, don‘t you worry about me.“

The boys shook their heads at you two, „You know, you would think they‘d be a couple by now but no, they have to take their special time.“ Sirius mumbled words made  Peter and James crackle and you and Remus looked at them in confusion. „What did you say, Sirius?“ The long haired boy shut up at your words and the group laughed as you and Remus shook your head at them. 

Madam Pomfrey watched the group with a smile, the older woman couldn‘t wait to hear the words of you and Remus dating, having rooted for you two since she first saw you at the hospital wing after the full moon. Youmay not be together now but she knew you will be. 

#harry potter #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin angst #no use of y/n #andrew garfield #andrew garfield x reader #fluff #angst #remus lupin fic

[shadowbriar]

Remus Lupin - Wrangler

Pairing : (F/M) || Remus Lupin x Reader  Word Count : 2.2k Warning : Mentions of scar and wound. Misunderstanding. Notes : Her absence has created nothing but more insecurities for the poor boy. He knew he was at fault and he would never forgive himself for it, but was that it? Could his condition finally become the scissors to have cut their strings of love?

Remus stares at the now cold food served in front of him. The empty chair placed on his side was screaming in silence. The ticking sound of the grandfather clock by the sitting room turns louder with each passing second. Another night poured down the drain, he thought.

There hasn’t been a day where he doesn’t blame himself for what happened that night. Perhaps he didn’t chew enough wolfsbane, or maybe he didn’t fully drink the potion down to its last drop. Whichever reason it was, the cost he had to pay was beyond his imagination. It had cost him everything. 

It had cost him her.

Ever since that full moon months ago, she’s always left their house before the sun even woke up and returned only when the clock almost struck midnight. He hardly ever sees her, though they’re living under the same roof, sleeping on the same bed. The lingering smell of her perfume on their bedsheets and the dirty cup by the sink, stained with her lipstick, were his only proof that she hasn’t truly left.

Yet.

He would forever curse himself for hurting her that night. The scar marked across her chest would be his everlasting reminder of how much of a monster he is. One that doesn't deserve a lover. A lover as precious as her.

Perhaps this is where he should draw the line. Let her go and watch her flourish from afar. End whatever it is left of their relationship before every good memory and pleasant affections turn into guilt and hatred. No, he would rather die than have her hate him. He could never bear such torment.

Yet seeing the fading glee surrounding their home, Remus could understand if such a feeling is already brewing in her heart.

His brood was interrupted as he heard the front door open. She finally arrived. An hour earlier than her usual timing, yet still late at night. He quickly wipes the tears off his eyes with his sleeves, plastering a fake smile to not worry her even worse. The last thing he’d want is for her to pity him though he knows he must look like the most pathetic bloke right now.

“Remus,” She greets, surprised to have found him still up and with untouched plates of food “Why are you still up, Love?”

“I cooked for us.” He answers with a smile, hiding the disappointment that she has indeed forgotten their anniversary “I thought it’s been a while since we’ve had dinner together, so.”

She places her bag on the table, taking a seat with an apologetic look, “Remus, Darling, I’m sorry but- I was starving earlier so I ordered some takeaway and I-”

“It’s fine,” Remus cuts in, taking the plate in front of her and feeling even more foolish of himself yet concealing it with a shrug “More for me, then. I mean, it’s almost midnight. I’ll be even more worried if you haven’t had dinner.”

She nods, eyes still filled with sorry.

“How’s your day, Love?” Remus asks, taking a piece of his meal “Anything interesting happened today?”

“No, nothing interesting happened, unfortunately.” She sighs, running her fingers through her hair in despair “The potion I’m developing hasn’t shown any promising effect and we have to wait until the next full moon to try out the new batch.”

He smiles sympathetically, taking one of her hands and caressing it softly.

Remus hates yielding to the ugly ideas that have been plaguing his mind, but it was clear for him to see that his condition is starting to change her view. At least, in his mind, she’s doing all this research to cure his condition because she was embarrassed to have a werewolf as a boyfriend. One that will hurt her and is obviously an improper partner for her. She’s the brightest witch of their year. Her career as a healer is blooming while he couldn’t even manage to keep a job longer than three months. Why would such perfection stick around with someone as damaged as him?

“Your scar hasn’t fully healed.” She says, taking a jar of her self-made healing balm and gently dabbing it to his skin. In a few seconds the red wound was healed, leaving only a thin line that is hardly visible to the eye “There. Beautiful as always.”

“You’re embarrassed of me, aren’t you?”

He wasn’t sure what came into him but the sudden raise of his tone had certainly made her blink in surprise. Perhaps the frustration of missing her has finally reached its peak, or the disappointment that she’s paid no attention to today’s date. Either of which, it was powerful enough to fuel such anger in his chest. Remus was never one to get angry. He was always the calm and composed one in every other argument they had before. With this sudden change of action, he was sure that a storm was coming.

“What- Embarrassed of you? Remus, what are you talking about?” She asks, sounding appalled “I’m only trying to heal your wounds.”

“I’m a werewolf, Love, I’m supposed to have wounds!” He answered, voice raising to make her quiver on her seat “All you seem to care about is to make me look pretty. Heal my wounds, make them look invincible. I’m a monster, I’m supposed to have scars!”

“You’re not a monster, Remus, stop saying that!”

“I am a monster! Stop trying to deny it!” Remus continues to yell, the veins on his neck more visible now “Look at yourself, for Merlin’s sake! I’ve scarred you. I’ve hurt you that night and now I have to live the rest of my life with such regret.”

The tears welling on her eyes have now fallen heavily. She’s never seen Remus looking so angry yet so vulnerable at the same time. She could feel the frustration and hatred he holds over himself, cursing and blaming himself for the accident that’s happened.

“I’m a damaged goods beyond repair, Darling.” Remus continues, smiling pitifully for himself “You can’t cure me.”

“You don’t know that.” She says fast, trying to light just a spark of hope to his dull eyes “We’re making progress with the potion. Not much, but we’re getting closer.”

Remus chuckles darkly, “If you really want a non-werewolf boyfriend then you should just break up with me and find another man. I’m done being your lab rat.”

With those last venomous words, he stood from his seat and stormed into their bedroom. The loud slam of the door made her flinch. He was hurting, physically and emotionally. 

All she wanted to do was to help him. The regret Remus is having for that night is burying her alive, too. She was the one who gave him the wolfsbane and brewed the potion herself. If anyone were to be blamed for the accident, it was her. She must have done something wrong to have cost him to lose control like that. The fault was hers, not his.

But there’s no use of arguing when both of them are too emotional. If she were to continue, she was sure that more damage would be done. Remus is already feeling insecure of himself and their relationship. He would surely not listen to any of her words. At least, not tonight.

—-

Remus woke up with a bigger heartache than the previous days. Her side of the bed was neatly tucked, no sign of her purse by the side table. She must have left for work as always. Even after their huge fight last night.

Perhaps he should feel more thankful over the fact that she didn’t leave him for good. The words he spat last night must’ve been more painful than the scar he’s left on her chest. He wasn’t even sure how he could have the heart to accuse her like that, even after years of her evidently showing her love and affection towards him. 

He was about to pull the blanket once more, trying to halt the frustration he’s feeling with another hour of quick nap when he heard noises outside. Remus checked on the clock by the side table— 10.15. She must have already left for work by this hour, so what could be the cause of said noises?

Taking his wand, Remus walks to the door. The moment he opened it, the sweet smell of newly cooked pancakes was smelled. He could see her silhouette in the kitchen, back facing him as she hums softly to the song from the radio. Oh how he missed this sight. Her wearing one of his ugly shirts, candidly beautiful doing whatever it is she’s occupying herself with.

“You’re awake.” She says softly as she turns, smiling gently at him “I’ve made breakfast. Come sit.”

Remus, not making a sound, only nods and takes his seat by the table.

“I’m giving you more cakes cause you didn’t eat enough last night.” She says as she places his plate in front of him, planting a kiss to the side of his head “Go on, eat.”

He stares at her, embarrassed and feeling undeserving of her kind gesture after what he’s done last night.

She raises her brows, “Come on, now. You’re not asking me to feed you, are you?”

Remus smiles, finally taking his cutleries.

The couple then have their breakfast in silence, occasionally glancing at each other and holding in an embarrassed smile as if they were back in Hogwarts. Though his heart was full, the guilt and remorse from last night is still hovering over him. He knows that he needs to apologise, try to ask for her forgiveness though he knows for a fact that he doesn’t deserve it.

“I’m taking some days off from work.” She announces as she places her cutleries down “I realised that I’ve been absent for too long and, well, I’ve got some sins to atone here at home. Starting with making up for the mistake of forgetting what yesterday was.”

“No, please don’t apologise.” Remus cuts in, feeling even more guilty now “I should be the one apologising, Love. I didn’t know what came into me last night. I’m so sorry for all the things I said to you.”

She smiles, taking his hand and holding it gently, “It’s not your fault to have thought of such an idea, Darling. I should’ve been more transparent about what and why I’m being so focused on developing the potion.”

Remus remains quiet, awaiting her further explanation.

“That night when you lost control, I couldn’t shake the memory of how fear and guilt were filling your eyes. I was hurt, yes, but I knew that I could patch myself and make myself good as new. What hurt me most was the panic on your face when you transformed back. How you didn’t want to touch me for days after that night. The guilt was eating me alive because I was the one who gave you the wolfsbane, I was the one who brewed you the potion. I’m the cause of said havoc, Rem.”

“No, no you’re not-”

“But I am, Love. I should’ve given you an extra leave of wolfsbane, or brewed you more potion. You couldn’t control yourself when you’re in the werewolf phase, the only thing controllable was our preparation and I was in charge of it. I was the one who made the mistake, not you.”

Tears were falling from Remus’ sad eyes. His hold of her hand is now firmer. He wanted to argue about how she was never in the wrong, it was his and his fault only. Yet no words were able to be uttered. His heart has taken over his brain and made it unable to create coherent sentences.

“Ever since that night, I promised myself that I will cure you. Not because I was embarrassed of you, but because I don’t want you to undergo the same painful torture any longer.” She continues, starting to cry herself “Remus, you’ve gone through so much pain in your life, already. If I could try to lift this one burden of yours, you bet your arse I would do it, whatever it takes. I would trade anything to stop you from feeling the pain of transforming ever again.”

Remus nods, finally understanding her absence and feeling more at fault to have thought of her with such ugly notions.

“I’m so sorry to have caused you so much worry, Remus. I should’ve told you since the beginning and not have myself too occupied with my ambition. It was never in my intention to make you feel like you were a lab rat.” She gently explains, caressing his skin with her thumb “If it would make you feel better, I’ll stop the research and we’ll continue our preparations as usual. I’m doing this for you, but if you’re not comfortable with it, we can always abort the mission.”

Never in his entire lifetime has Remus felt more loved. He’s hurt her and instead of hating him, she tries to cure him instead. The extent she’d done to show her love for him was beyond his imagination and he’s unsure if he was deserving of it.

He pulled her hand and kissed it, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you and I know I’m being selfish, but please never leave. Please never leave me.”

“I won’t, I promise.” She smiles genuinely, pulling him into a hug “We’re in this together, alright? Don’t you forget that.”

Remus nods, burying his face deeper to the crook of her neck. He pulled her closer, hoping that his embrace could show her just how much he loves her. For once, Remus felt that being a werewolf isn’t so bad after all.

#marauders #remus lupin #remus lupin angst #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x oc #remus lupin x you #the marauders #marauders imagine #marauders scenario

[whorediaries-09]

say it's unforgivable

pairing- sirius black x auror!reader warning(s)- hurt/comfort. a/n- heads up, maa and papa refer to james' mum and dad :)

little train. series masterlist.

the moment he gets up from the metal chair, he realizes he's doomed. his heart aches. he has nowhere to go. with maa and papa dead he's stuck, stranded upon the lonely crevice of life. as the minutes pass by, he stands, watching as the others leave. dumbledore sits still, physically calm.

'is there anything you need to say dumbledore?' he watches as the old man slowly creeps from the chair, descending near him. he stands before sirius, his icy blue eyes hovering over his ragged form.

'the man you are sirius, i expect you'll go and try to track down harry?' he asks him, his voice low. 'i save you trouble, harry is within the safe realms of his aunt and uncle.'

'aunt and uncle?'

'lily's sister and husband.'

'WHAT!'

'calm down, he's safe. that's the only way to keep him safe. the blood connection between petunia and lily. petunia knows about this, always has known about this. she's promised to not hurt harry and keep him within safe and secure conditions until he turns into an adult.'

'i don't care dumbledore. i need to see harry potter. he's my godson, i am his legal guardian. not petunia, not her husband.'

'i know.' dumbledore's eyes twinkle for a few moments before he runs his bony hands through his long beard.

'you can join hogwarts as an assistant healer. with all the incidences you had with remus lupin, i'm sure you've got a trick or two up your sleeve.' sirius gulps.

'what?'

'you can see harry in 5 years when he joins hogwarts.'

'no. i need to see my godson now.'

'you will, when you get yourself together. take some time off for yourself sirius.'

'i don't care. i need to see him and check whether he's okay. i need to know. i don't trust petunia with how she treated lily. i need to make sure he's okay. the last time i trusted you albus, i was thrown into prison and my freedom was stolen away from me. not again will i let this happen. i'm leaving, albus.'

*-

he sits beside the coffee counter, shimmying through newspapers. ever since he'd been released, the press was after him. not wanting more attention than he'd already gotten, he decided he'd keep to the muggle world for the time being. that meant being closer to spotting harry and staying away from attention.

for the time he'd been in the wizarding world, within the creepy turns of diagon alley, hagrid had returned him his motorbike. he'd hugged the giant man, thanking him. within the span, he'd also found his mother had died a year back, leaving him to be the heir of the noble house of black. when he'd been left alone with the information of his death mother, he left a pang of joy in his heart, followed by guilt.

he loved his mother, but his mother never did. it wasn't his fault, but he couldn't help but love her. or perhaps it was pity he felt for her, for she had been through the same as him. but it was him who felt the need to break free from the abuse. he hated he had to make her feel like a failed mother. while he felt guilty for feeling joy for losing her, he certainly didn't miss her. no, he was the one who got away.

he crushes the butt of the smoked cigarette, ready to explore the city of london after years of being shrouded in darkness. the need to escape from the darkness still gathers him into a haze of melancholy. he wanted to feel the cold air ripping through his locks, nipping at his skin. he wanted to see the city lights pass by as he fulfilled the need of fresh air filling up his flesh. he may not have yet found a place to stay, but he didn't feel the need to be confined within four walls.

the bell chimes again. a thursday evening didn't see many customers, the cafe deprived of hustle, resulting in a quiet cafe. the bell caught his attention, so he turned his head, watching at the door. his heart skipped a few beats, as a familiar face walked into the cafe. it was his savior.

'a salted caramel latte and a butter cookie, please,' you said to the barista, passing down the bills to fulfil the payment. he walked up to you, his heart bleeding with gratitude.

'hi,' he said, catching your attention. you brushed strands of hair behind your ear, smiling at him.

'hi, mr. black.' he knitted his brows together.

'psst! don't call me that, call me sirius.' he bent down, leaning into your ear, 'i'm out of azkaban solely because of you.' you smiled at him picking up your latte and cookie that the barista slipped across the counter.

'trust me, mr. - sirius i stand for justice.' he crumpled his fingers together, putting his hand into his pockets.

'i agree with you. uhm... fancy a walk perhaps?' he asked. your eyes brandished slowly over his features, your mind seemingly reeling with questions.

'i never thought the sirius black would walk. didn't you drive a motorbike?' he grinned, his eyes lighting up. this was the first time he'd felt the joy after so many years- he allowed himself to relish it, because there was no darkness to shroud his joy into melancholy.

'i do drive one. how did you know?' pushing open the door of the cafe, you walked into the fresh night air, as he followed you. taking a sip of your latte you replied vaguely,

'that, sirius is for me to know, and you to guess.' he grinned, seemingly enjoying your teasing behavior.

'so, you don't fancy a walk,' he stated, putting his hands into his pockets. your eyes raked over him, taking in his starkly contrasting appearance from the day you'd last seen him. within the glow of the streetlight, his high cheek bones and razor sharp jaw underneath porcelain skin rubbed with a soft stubble reflected upon his features. he was wearing a black t-shirt paired with beige slacks. he had cleaned up well within the few days. the air had already been of great favor to him.

'don't you have anyone waiting for you, sirius?' his gray eyes stared into yours before he whispered a quiet no.

'are you sure sirius? or are you too eager within your emotions of gratitude?'

'i hate how you can read through me so easily, sweetheart. but you're partly incorrect, i actually have been sitting alone here, shimmying over the things i've missed.' he moved closer to you.

'i don't think you should spent time alone, sirius. you need other people's company. human's are driven by the presence of other humans, you should be reminded of your roots, of your presence of mind. you'll go insane if you sit alone, secluded.'

'and here you are declining me a walk with you. you're human aren't you? we can interact. either ways, i've asked remus to meet me tomorrow. he says yes.' you laughed, the sound echoing amongst the cars and motorbikes which honked along the streets of london.

'so, what do you say?'

'i'm sure i could also do with a little bit of company,' you replied. your voice was low and soft, like a cool breeze amongst the salty waves of the sea. he smiled at you, wrinkles of a chronicle scarring beside his eyes. he moved closer, standing by you.

'so where shall we go?'

'where ever the city takes us.'

the city reeked of driving him crazy. till it was one hell of a drug, so he could use it up.

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original idea posted by - @lilwnet

taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510

taglist (for series) - @urbansaint

(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)

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#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #marauders #sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius black smut #the marauders #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #marauders era #sirius black thoughts #sirius black x oc #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanart #sirius being sirius #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #fanfiction #james & peter & remus & sirius

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Bad Ideas Part 10

Regulus Black au

Summary:  It started as nothing now it’s something. Voldemort has been defeated but that doesn’t mean the wizarding world is still a good place to be.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Link to Part 9

Warnings: Smut

____

“With me, Y/n gets to come first. She had always come second to Harry and for once she gets to come first. That’s what makes me good for her.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest and glared at James as the venomous words left his mouth. He was relieved that everyone in the room looked super uncomfortable. Remus and Sirius exchanged and looked as if asking each other if they didn’t do enough to show you that you were special too…had they not shown you that you mattered just as much as Harry? Meanwhile, James and Lily looked at each other before returning to Regulus.

“What do you mean?”

James asked. Regulus' mouth dropped as he started at James as if he was the biggest idiot imaginable.

“Really? Do I really need to spell it out for you? I get it that you were dead and all most of her life but Jesus Christ do you really not get it? Oh bloody hell fine…Harry is the chosen one. Harry is the best thing ever. Harry this…Harry that…but what about Y/n? No, nothing. Nothing until I came along. Forget the fact that Y/n and Hermione are the brightest in their class, Y/n did a lot of work for The Order, or Y/n is the youngest healer at the hospital. Right, your daughter is a healer…you probably don’t know that. There is also the fact without Y/n, Harry would have probably just crawled into a little hollow log and died…but yes, let's forget about everything that Y/n has done and focus on Harry.”

Again, no one in the room said a word after Regulus’ rant. Harry awkwardly started rubbing the back of his neck.

“So, I have always cared about Y/n.”

He started but stopped when Regulus held a hand up.

“Shut up. This isn’t about you.”

Harry considered ripping Regulus a new one but decided that he was actually right. He had seen you be put on the back burner plenty of times. You always were gracious about it too and this made Harry feel even worse. Of all of the shit that the two of you had been through, you never made a fuss or complained when Harry got all of the glory. Instead, you remained in the shadows and were always your brother’s biggest supporter.

Remus took a breath before speaking. In his mind, Remus felt that he always did a good job of treating both Harry and himself equally. Remus always tried to recognize each child’s strong points and help with the parts that needed work. Remus had realized just how bright you were right away. You were, in his mind, always a gifted child. Learning and knowledge came easily to you. Remus always enjoyed how you could easily catch up with particularly difficult spells, literature, or anything else that he sent your way.

He also felt bad for Sirius because he, too, went out of his way to make sure that you felt seen and heard. The look on Sirius’ face broke Remus’ heart. Sirius had been looking down at his feet feeling like it was Walburga, not Regulus, letting him have it. The way that Regulus’ tone was deadly and icy made him feel so much smaller. Hearing Regulus say that you weren’t appreciated was particularly painful as Sirius had wanted a relationship with both of his godchildren before either of you realized who he was.

“No one is denying that Y/n isn’t exceptionally brilliant. I am very proud of the woman that she has become…”

Remus started but was silenced by Regulus.

“Don’t even, Lupin. Yeah, you try but Harry still comes first to Sirius and yourself. I’ve seen it happen so don’t try and baffle me with your bullshit.” Regulus turned his attention back to James and Lily. He wanted to chuckle at the expressions on their faces. Lily was the first to speak.

“I know that we can’t say much given the situation at hand but we love Y/n just as much as Harry. We never wanted to show any preference between the two…we definitely wouldn’t even consider it now.”

Regulus gave her a skeptical frown. While he wanted to believe Lily, Regulus would have to see proof of her words before his mind was fully changed.

“I guess we will just have to see on that one, Lily.”

Regulus replied. James took a breath. He wanted to ask Sirius and Remus if Regulus was telling the truth. Were you really the “shadow child” who was forgotten? Something told James that wasn’t particularly true…at least not all of it. James knew Remus and Sirius. There had to be some trying on their part. The expression on Sirius’ face told James that.

“You’re not the only one that cares about Y/n, Regulus.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes on James. He had a feeling that he would be disliking James a lot more than he already did. Something told him that his relationship with James, when it came to you, was going to be a rough one. If James thought for one moment that Regulus was just going to stand idly by and let you be hurt, disappointed, or made to feel less than important…James had another thing coming! Regulus would take extra care to make James’ life miserable.

“Isn’t that nice? Good luck to you, I suppose. Something tells me that you are going to need it.”

James stepped forward.

“I won’t be needing any luck, Black. I’m her father and I will be there for her. I don’t care that you are her boyfriend and I find the whole relationship creepy…you aren’t controlling her or keeping her away from us.”

Regulus chuckled.

“You do realize that I know enough dark magic to stop you. I could also just throw you out the window…”

Remus, having enough, finally stepped in.

“James, Regulus…that’s enough. Regulus, why don’t you go upstairs and check on Y/n? I think we all need a breather.”

Regulus gave James and Lily another glare before turning and leaving the room.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room as no one moved to speak right away. It was Sirius that spoke first. He had finally looked up from his feet. The pain and discontent were still so painfully obvious on his face.

“I always thought that we did well showing Y/n attention but maybe Regulus is right. Maybe Y/n has always felt second best and we just didn’t see it.”

James ran a hand through his hair. He immediately knew what Sirius was thinking. He was thinking about his childhood…Regulus’ childhood. Sirius had told James many times that Regulus had always been treated like second best. He was always the “second son.” He wasn’t the “heir.” Regulus was never anything valued until Sirius bailed on the Blacks.

Now here you were “the second daughter” (even if it was only by 12 minutes) possibly feeling the same way that Regulus did growing up. Something told James, however, that Sirius had learned from his childhood and tried his best to stop that from happening to you.

“I doubt it, Sirius. I know that you, of all people, would have taken extra care to make sure she was treated special. You wouldn’t have wanted her to be treated like Regulus.”

James replied, hoping to bring his best friend some comfort. Sirius sighed before going to sit down while Harry stepped up.

“Sorry to say it but I do agree with Regulus. With the exception of Remus and Sirius, Y/n has been treated like second best a lot. I hate siding with him on anything but he has been good for her. Y/n is happy with Regulus and I don’t think asking her to leave him would do anyone any good. Y/n doesn’t do a damn thing that she doesn’t want to.”

Harry could say that last sentence with 100% confidence. You were a lot of things and stubborn was one of them.

James sighed before moving to sit down beside Sirius with a groan.

“This sucks!”

(meanwhile)

Regulus stepped into his bedroom feeling somewhat better after unloading on everyone. Did he think that he was wrong with anything that he said? No, absolutely not. Regulus hated seeing the disappointment on your face whenever one of your accomplishments was downplayed while Harry was boosted up higher as “the chosen one.”

Regulus hated to say it but your childhood had so many parallels to his. You were subjected to cold guardians who honestly didn’t care, you were ignored for a sibling who could do no wrong, and you were lonely. Regulus sighed at the memory of you telling him how isolated you felt at times.

“Even when I am around my friends, sometimes I feel as though I’m in a room full of strangers who really don’t know anything about me.”

That had been the sentence that broke Regulus’ heart. That was something Regulus would have said at any point in his childhood.

Shaking his head from the negative emotions, Regulus turned his attention to where you sat on the sofa near the fireplace. He took a breath and started in your direction. As much as Regulus hated emotions and dealing with them, he knew that right now he had to. He had to pick up the pieces that were shattered all over the place.

“Are you okay?”

He asked softly before sitting down beside you. You turned in his direction and smiled slightly.

“I’m okay…a little shocked but I’m okay. I never expected my parents to turn up. Not that I am not happy or thrilled…I was just shocked to see them.”

Regulus nodded as you wrapped your hand around his and laid your head on his shoulder.

“I heard what you said to them.”

Regulus winced. He never wanted you to hear that.

“You heard that?”

You giggled before beginning to toy with the rings on his left hand.

“The whole house heard you, love. I know that you hate being compared to Sirius under any circumstance but when the two of you get mad…your voices carry.”

Regulus winced. Damn, you knew him well. There was no point in arguing on that one.

“I wasn’t aiming for you to hear any of that.”

“You weren’t wrong on any of it. I will say that Remus and Sirius have tried. Sure they have their shortcomings but they have tried to treat Harry and me the same. Thank you, by the way.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow before turning to look at you with a slightly confused expression.

“For?”

You moved to wiggle your way onto Regulus’ lap. Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his kissing him softly before pulling away.

“For always putting me first…for making me feel like the most important thing in the world.”

Regulus wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you to the bed. Lying you down gently, Regulus took his place over you. Cupping your cheek, Regulus’ grey eyes locked on yours. Staring into Regulus’ eyes always made you feel as though he could see right into your soul.

“Because you are the most important thing in the world to me. None of this other stuff…these other people…they mean nothing compared to you. I would walk away from all of it to keep you happy.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread to your face. While Regulus wasn’t overly a “mushy” person when it came to romance, when he put effort into it he was the perfect lover.

“You’re the most important thing in my world too. Reggie, I don’t want you to worry about anything with my parents. No matter what they could say will ever change how I feel about you.”

Regulus was beyond relieved to hear those words leave your mouth. He hadn’t really considered telling you (at least not at the moment) but parts of him were worried about James and Lily’s return. Would they try to poison you against him? Would they try to weasel their way in and say “It doesn’t matter if he still looks 18 or that he hasn’t aged due to being dead…he’s too old for you.” The better question was would you believe them?

That had been Regulus’ number 1 fear since seeing James and Lily alive. Now he heard what he needed to.

“I love you, Y/n.”

You were stunned to hear those words leave Regulus’ perfect mouth. In all of the time that the two of you had been a couple saying those three words hadn’t happened. Something told you that it would be harder for Regulus to say I love you than anything else. After growing up the way he did, talking about love had to be a difficult subject.

Now hearing “I love you” flow so perfectly from his lips, you knew that you would do whatever it took to keep those words coming.

“I love you too, Regulus.”

Regulus was beyond thrilled when you reciprocated his feelings. Call it trauma from his childhood, but Regulus was afraid that you wouldn’t say it back…that you would never love him as much as he loved you. Now that fear could be put to rest.

Leaning in for another kiss, Regulus smiled against your mouth.

“How about we make some noise to make everyone uncomfortable?”

_____

@amelie-black @justfinishthis @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @criminalyetminimal @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @siriuslyceleste @golddustwomann @fific7 @littleshadow17 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @livshifts @jsjcue @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @saramaple @missgorldafirst @i-love-scott-mccall @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @buttercup-beeee @f4iryluvy @panpride @daddyslittlevillain @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @mentally-unstable-hoe @yousmellllikecaca @haroldpotterson @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @dumybitch @marichromatic @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @rubyroscoe1 @lostarc24 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @deanwherescas @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel-blog @mycuddlycorner @bennyberry @bxcndd

#Regulus Black #Regulus Black x Reader #Reader x Regulus Black #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #James Potter #Lily Evans Potter #Harry Potter #timothee chalamet as Regulus Black #Ben Barnes as Sirius Black #Aaron Taylor Johnson as James Potter #Andrew Garfield as Remus Lupin #regulus x reader #reader x regulus #remus x sirius #wolfstar #james x lily #hp #hp reader #hp fic #harry potter marauders #The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black #Regulus Arcturus Black #Sirius Orion Black #Walburga Black #Regulus Black Fics #Regulus Black x Reader smut #Regulus Black series #Regulus Black AU #Bad Ideas

[legally-lupin]

Full moon- prof! Remus Lupin x student! Fem Reader

Reader is of age!!! Afab reader

Summary: when a walk in the forbidden forest goes terribly wrong

It was a wonderful night the full moon was out and nearly every star in the sky was present. y/n decided not to spend it in her dorm. She crept her way out passing portraits and teachers until she made it safely out of the castle. A blanket in hand as well as her art supplies. Why waste this beautiful night when you can paint it?.

With a wand in hand incase things goes south y/n found the perfect place on top of a hill. Where the floor was covered in tree roots and only one flat piece of land for her to sit. She scouted the area before setting up. It had a perfect view of the castle.

The girl too emerged in her painting to acknowledge what was happening behind her. A snap of a wood branch was enough to pull her out of her trance. She wiped around to be met with a werewolf. Her eyes widened as she dropped her equipment in shock.

The grey wolf stared at the girl with familiarity. It whined as if it’s in pain as it took another step to the student. Y/n breathing became rapid as she backed up. Her back hitting her canvas making it fall over

“Dam it” she hissed pointing her wand at the creature who continued to whine as if it was communicating. Without thinking y/n made a run for it. She weaved through the forest the wolf tailed behind her snarling. Y/n looked behind her to see the wolf had disappeared until she looked in front of her. It’s big teeth the only thing she sees before everything turned black.

Professor Snape was patrolling the grounds when he heard a shrilling scream coming from the forest. He knew that scream.

He followed the echos of the scream until he found his student all alone on the forest floor bloodied and beat up. He quickly scooped her up and ran her straight to Madame Pomfrey who healed her.

It took 2 days for y/n to come back to her senses. When she woke she was met with instant pain.

“Oh good your awake. How do you feel?” Madame Pomfrey was by her side in an instant assessing her

“What happened?” The girl croaked looking around

“I don’t know what compelled you to go into the forest alone! At night! But it was a very close call. Your very lucky professor snape heard you and brought you here. You was attacked we are unsure w-

“The wolf” the girl gasped

“What was that dear?”

“A werewolf approached me when I was painting but I don’t remember what happened after that” her eyebrows scrunched together on confusion

“Your all healed up except for one which going to scar. It’s right on the bridge of your nose but don’t worry if wont be that noticeable” the older woman patted the young girls shoulders handing her a bouquet of your favourite flowers

“Someone left these for you” the healer gave a warm smile before exiting the room.

A note was attached to the flowers:

My dearest y/n

I am so sorry for what happened to you. What I did to you. I tried to fight it. I really did try but it was stronger than I. I know these flowers aren’t enough and I’ll do my best to make it right. And hope you’ll forgive me.

R x

Who could R be? Y/n had no idea. But whoever this person was they were also a lycanthrope.

Two long nights past when y/n became strong enough to attend her lessons. She had to use a cane to be able to walk. She was late to her first class but professor snape was understanding

“Ah y/n very glad to see your doing well” the professor gave a small smile which turned into confusion as the girl handed him a green box

“And what is this?” The girl hugged the man. The class was shocked to see the professor hug her back

“It’s not much as I don’t know how to repay you for saving my life but thank you so much” y/n softly said before making her a way to an empty seat next to Draco Malfoy.

“Glad to see your ok y/n” pansy said smiling

“That cut makes you look even hotter!” mattheo smirked touching it you pulled away hissing from pain

“Yeah, what happened to you?” Draco said y/n gave a brief story to the group she repositioned hissing as she felt a sting. Her friends looked at her as the girl leant on Mattheo for support which he placed an arm around her waist to hold her.

“Are you sure your ok?” Draco asked in concern

“Yh I’m fine just need to stretch my legs” she rested her head on Mattheos shoulder the whole lesson which he offered.

“Y/n let me help you to our next class” Mattheo offered before she can say anything he took her bag and placed a hand on her waist whilst your friends walked along side you.

When you arrived at DADA professor lupin was already there writing tasks on the board.

“Sorry we’re a little late professor we was making sure y/n got here safely” Mattheo spoke walking you to your table and taking your partners seat. You watched your teacher freeze at the sound of your name.

“Oh no worries mr.riddle. Y/n I’m glad your alright” the teacher spun around after he finished writing. He had fresh cuts on his face and he looked pale almost corpse like

“Thankyou professor lupin. If it wasn’t for professor snape. I wouldn’t be here” You watch as your teacher gulped hard his Adam's apple twitching as he weakly smiled

“We are so glad you are alright” he sat at the front of the class marking students' papers.

As you got on with your work. Snippets of that night flashed through your brain. The eyes of the werewolf and the blood on your hands. You didn’t realise you started to have a panic attack. The air thinning as you tried to breathe. Remus noticed this and ran straight to you

“It’s ok. Your ok breathe for me. In … and out. Y/n come with me ok” you didn’t respond as you were moved to the professors office he sat you done on a big arm chair and rubbed your arms.

“Sweetheart. Listen to my voice ok” your eyes frantically looked around the room before meeting his

“Y/n I want you to focus ok. Tell me five things you can see”

“Y-y-your r-record player, b-books, chocolate, tea cup and you” your breathing started to regulate as you focused

“Ok good now four things you can touch”

“Your j-jumper, this chair, the floor and my hair” as you calmed down you stared at the man in front of you all teary eyed.

“Brilliant we gonna keep doing this ok? Three things you can hear?” The older man smiled softly

“My class, the rain and you”

“Ok now two things you can smell” a small smile met your lips

“Chocolate and parchment paper” the man’s hands rubbed up and down your arms comfortingly

“And now one thing you can taste”

“Blood” the man’s eyes widened as he saw the blood on your lip

“Oh Merlin here” he patted your lip down with a napkin

“ I have something to confess y/n” lupin sighed as he kneeled infront of you.

“I was the one who hurt you that night, I tried to fight it I wanted nothing more then you to be safe but he was stronger that night. I’m so sorry I couldn’t forgive my self” he wrapped his arms around you

“Wait. Your a lycanthrope?” She watched the teacher nod as he stood handing her a small box of chocolate

“Yes and I made a mistake on that night by forgetting to take my wolf's bane potion. And I never wanted to hurt you. You know that right?” he placed a large hand on the girls cheek

“Of course sir but does that mean I will be one as well?” A light blush tinted her cheeks as she smiled nervously

“No no, luckily the cut wasn't deep enough for you to get it but I don't think I would forgive myself if that happened” Remus sighed looking down

“Hey, I forgive you. I know you didn't do it on purpose and it's my fault for going out so late to paint” her small hands held his face as she spoke

“And I've got a cool scar that makes me look hotter as Mattheo says” she laughed

“Here I uh found this in the forest” he handed you the unfinished painting making you gasp

“Thank you so much sir” the girl hugged Remus tightly he wrapped her up in his arms placing a kiss on her head

“I will never hurt you ok?” The girl nodded still embraced in the hug

“come on then. If you have any questions at all just ask” Remus said as he helped her back to her desk she nodded as a response thanking him

#remus lupin x you #professor lupin x reader #professor lupin #remus lupin x yn #older remus lupin x reader #harry potter x reader #harry potter #remu

[vxntagedior]

best girl

summary | remus expects more from you than everyone else

pairing | professor!remus lupin x fem!student!reader

warning | teacher/student relationship, reader is 18, age gap,

word count | 1.1k

With the approach of N.E.W.T.S coming up, along with your advanced time table, getting in your assignments and just paying attention in class has become a struggle for you.

Professor McGonagall expressed that if you still wanted to pursue being a medi-witch or a healer, you needed to pass all your exams with an E or O.

Everything was going well, potions had been your strong suit since first year, the rest following naturally but Defense Against the Dark Arts was a struggle. With the past years, one leaving and a new one coming the next year, the agenda was everywhere, you’d either be relearning old things or going into topics that were too far ahead for the class.

Remus was a hard grader, everyone knew it, but he was on his best girl. He always expects the best out of you which gives you another level of stress because out of everything, the last thing you wanted to do was disappoint him.

Your head could barely stay up during DADA, it was your last class of the day, and you were in dire need of sleep. You had spent the entire night in Remus’s chambers trying to finish the rest of a Transfiguration essay and hopefully starting your DADA essay that was due by the end of the period.

Remus assumed it was the first thing you finished, knowing it took some extra time for you, saying nothing when you spent the nights with him doing the rest of your homework.

Your seatmate had been taking the notes for you knowing how much work you needed to do and didn’t mind helping you ease the load. Whatever Remus had been saying was going in one ear and out the other.

Remus’s eyes scanned through the classroom, watching everyone start on their assignments, his eyes finally landing on you. You were perched up on your hand, looking down at your book, your eyebrows furrowed, not evening having a quill and or a sheet of parchment.

You couldn’t understand a single thing Remus had talked about during his lecture. He made it simple enough for Crabbe and Goyle to understand but none of it was processing through your head. 

Looking up at the clock, you saw you had a few minutes of class left, everyone starting to pack up. You sniffled, gathering your books, taking the sheet of notes from your partner trying not to break down in front of your classmates.

“Miss L/n, if you could stay after class for a moment?” Remus called out to you. The rest of the students giggled, whispering about how you were going to get in trouble and the look on Remus’s face wasn’t helping.

You nodded softly, avoiding eyes with everyone. 

“I’ll see you after.” Hermione whispered to you as she left the room. “You mustn’t worry, I doubt you're in trouble, Professor Lupin never gives out detentions.”

The rest of the class lingered out of the room, just leaving at the front of the room at his desk and you by yours.

“Come.” It wasn’t a statement, more a demand. You nodded, slowly walking towards him, your shoes scuffing against the ground.

“Pick up your feet.” He growled looking up at you.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. He cleared this throat, waiting for the rest of your sentence.

“Sir.”

You didn’t know what was going on, frightened that you made him mad.

“What spell can be used to repel an acromantula?”

He had just asked the question at the beginning of the class, you raked your brain for the answer, it was on the tip of your tongue yet you couldn’t remember.

Remus tsked, sighing.

“Is that baby brain of yours finally stopped working.” He chuckled. Both of you knew you enjoyed the degradation he gave you, but with all the stress you’d had, you gave a different reaction.

“I’m sorry.” You bursted into tears. Your knees buckled, your hand catching yourself on his desk. “I know it, I know it, I swear.”

And all of those exams and assignments didn’t matter to you because you made Remus upset.

“Puppy?” Remus frowned, getting up from his desk, basking you in his arms. You cried into his jacket, letting him lead upstairs to his chambers. Your sobs turned into little sniffles, your face hidden in his jacket not wanting to see his disappointed face.

“Baby.” Remus whispered. “Can I see your pretty face?”

His voice was soft, not holding the malice from before, not wanting to scare you anymore. You slowly lifted your face off him, tears streaking your cheeks.

“Hi puppy.” He smiled, wiping away your tears, kissing your nose, his mustache tickling against your skin, causing you to laugh softly. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“Too much.” You sighed, your eyes were getting droopy, finally getting tired, needing the sleep that you had been craving for the past few weeks.

“I didn’t help with that didn’t it, you know I put so much pressure on you, but it’s because I want you to succeed. I’m sorry I didn’t notice before.”

You yawned at his apology, snuggling back into him. 

Remus sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, taking off your robes, changing you into something more comfortable before laying you his bed.

Leaving you in his room, Remus went back out to his classroom, starting to grade some of his papers.

Waking up, you felt more relaxed, more energetic. Looking around the room, noticing it wasn’t yours, slowly getting out of Remus’s bed, you peeked your head out of the door, making sure no one else was in the room before coming down.

Remus could hear the padding of your feet come down the stairs, his shirt covering your shorts, your hand rubbing the sleep away from your eyes.

Remus turned from his desk, opening his arms to you. Smiling softly, you maneuvered yourself in his lap, resting your legs on either side of his. Turning back to his papers, you rested in his arms, trying to find the words to explain yourself.

“I love you.” You whispered, leaving kisses on his open skin, from his neck up to his jaw. “I just want to pass my exams, graduate and the two of you can move away and be together.”

It was one thing you were looking forward to, not needing to keep the relationship a secret, and that was probably your biggest stressor.

“Oh my love.” Remus smiled, setting down his pen, resting his hands on your waist. “You’re almost there.”

“We’re almost there.”

fin.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #professor!remus lupin x student!reader #professor!remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x gryffindor!reader

[loving-and-dreaming]

here we go again r.l

What happens when you sleep with three different guys, and end up with a daughter right after. Not knowing who the father is, you raise your daughter on your own. Teaching her magic at your own pace. But Albus Dumbledor and Minerva Mcgonagall cannot help but meddle in their three favorite students' lives, James, Sirius and Remus. HOGWARTS MEETS MAMMA MIA <3

Remus lupin x reader

word count: 7.9k

Sitting in front of three men who all somehow know each other, with your daughter in the next room is not how you thought you would be spending your Monday. But here we are, all thanks to that doofus Albus Dumbledor (who even though you went to school in the states, everyone knows) who couldn’t keep his nose out of your business and respect your decision. You must have hit your head, that is the only explanation. There is no way the universe, even with Dumbledore's meddling, could be this cruel. Let’s go back to the beginning to see how on earth we ended up here…

May 15th 1980

“This is it. WE MADE IT!!” you scream in Lilys ear on your way to the great hall. “We are finally free, we can use our magic outside of school without getting in trouble! We can finally go explore the world, we can go explore muggle towns! I am so excited, I cannot wait to travel and see the world.”

“Calm down girl, we have to actually get out of the school before we start making any grand plans of exploration. I don't even know if my mom will let me explore. What about you Mary? What are your plans?” Lily looked from you to Mary. Mary just shrugged, she was clearly not ready to leave school or leave her best friends, you and Lily. You all were known as the three musketeers during school. If you saw one of you, the others were sure to not be far behind. Mary is not the only one that is scared for the next steps, you all were. This school has been a part of your lives since you were 11! Leaving it is going to be hard.

Making your way in, you notice all the people who were graduating with you. These are people that you spent the last 7 years with. Yet, the only people you’re truly going to miss is Lily, Mary and you cannot forget your favorite teacher, Maria Gonzaolaz. Mrs. Gonzaolaz has been there through everything. All of your summers and breaks were spent at school, because your mom was too busy to let you come home. She was basically your second mom. So when you walked down to your seat late, as always and saw her give you. The mother stared at you and gave her a wink and a little smile. Taking your seats in the great hall and listening to the speeches is not what is considered a good time, but looking at the clock you have 2 minutes til you are free forever. The 2 minutes stretch on and on until you finally hear the words, “and most of all we wish you a fantastic life and hope you all use your magic to better the world. Thank you for your time at our school and have a wonderful life!” All of a sudden all students jumped up from their seats and went to hug their friends and their families. The only thing you could think of doing is something that was a spur of the moment decision. “Mrs. Gonzoalas!” you run up to her, grab her arms and spin her around in circles. Now she is not a teacher that would willingly do this, so everyone is shocked and quiet. But you don't stop there! You give her a big kiss right on the cheek! This makes a few gasps go around the room, surely she would take away your diploma, and not let you graduate after that display. She is a very serious teacher. But all everyone saw was her sending a small smile your way as you grab Lily and Mary’s hands and pull them away to the safety of the courtyard.

That night you all are sitting on the balcony(perks of being the Hall Manger, well perks of Lily being the hall manger and you mooching the benefits off her), you, Lilly and Mary talk about your next steps. Mary is thinking of going to school to be a healer! She seems very excited and Lily has already taken up her passion of writing. But while they are talking about their after school plans you simply look up at the stars. You don't realize they asked you a question til mary kicks your leg, “what about you, Y/N? What are you going to do? Have you broken the news to your mom of your plans or have those changed?”

“That is a very good question. I still want to travel, but mom gave me an ultimatum. I either go to college and get her help and money or take my money from my trust fund from my grandma and travel. But if I choose to travel, she told me I cannot go back home, and I no longer have a family…” The gravity of the situation had not kicked in until you told the girls. Not knowing what to do you simply look back up into the stars hoping and praying for some kind of answer. The next thing you know Mary and Lily come to lay on either side of you, grabbing ahold of your hands. Your mind is made up. Even if you lose your mom you know you will never lose the girls. You have everything you need here. So in June when all graduating students must leave it looks like your adventure will start.

Telling your mom was hard, you simply wrote to her and she wrote back to enjoy your life but don’t ever bother coming home. You didn’t mention this to Mary or Lily so when they are packing you sit on the window bench and you see the woods you, Mary, and Lily used to get into trouble in. You see the streets where you used to go on walks to clear your head. Is leaving the right thing? When or if you ever come back Mary and Lily will most likely be married with kids. Settling down sounds nice, but never experiencing anything new, always the same old is not for you. You are not a coward, you are strong and you understand this is a once in a lifetime chance and you have to take it, how wrong can it go?

The next day Mary and Lily take you to the airport! You don’t even know what your first stop is, you are just going to go and see what calls out to you. Looking at the board, France is really calling your name. You pay for your ticket and give the girls a big hug. You all did the teary goodbyes last night after the wine so today was all fun. They walked you as far as they could and then waved and wished you luck all the way until they couldn’t see you anymore.

The plane ride was okay, honestly you wish you could have slept but you were too excited to sleep! You have no plans and for the first time in your life, you feel free. Once the plane lands and you get off instead of looking for a place to stay, you decide to walk around a little bit. I mean it’s Paris, who wouldn’t go see the Eiffel Tower. After walking around for a good hour, you thought it best to find a place to stay for the night. The best part about this trip as you have no idea how long you’re staying anywhere but it’s still good to have a bed to sleep in. You arrive at this cathedral looking hotel. It's tall and looks like it’s been there for ages but has the most beautiful interior walking up to the desk. You notice no one’s there. You ring the bell a couple times but still nothing. You’re not a criminal, but you do need a place to stay so you go behind the desk to get a key and you’re gonna leave some cash. In the middle of you picking a key a man about your age comes stumbling down the stairs in his towel. You see his long black hair tied in a low bun at the nape of his neck and his tattoos covering his chest. He starts trying to speak French, which clearly he doesn’t know how to speak, and you’re trying not to laugh at him. He looks like he’s finished stumbling through something so you play with him a little bit and say “can you repeat that?”

He comes down the steps and stops in front of you on the other side of the desk. “I don’t work here, sorry.” You say with a shrug of your shoulders.

He looks at you like you’ve grown another head, “ Wait you don’t work here, should I call the police?” He picks up the phone about to call the police when you put your hand over his and put the phone back on the hook.

“ I prefer if you didn’t…” you don’t know how and honestly if you ask him he doesn’t know why, but he agrees to not call the police. Instead, he reaches behind you and grabs his room key and grabs the one right next to his room as well.

“ if you want to wait, I was about to go explore if you want to come with me?” he has a flirty tone, but still kind of shy and you think what’s the harm in saying yes, you’re here for an adventure anyways.

“ absolutely let me put some money down and put my suitcase and stuff down and we can go!” About 10 minutes later you’ve finished putting your suitcase in the room and touching up your make up a little bit because he is a cutie and go back downstairs to wait for him. However, he’s already there waiting for you when you come down. He’s wearing skinny jeans, a band T-shirt, and a leather jacket. His black hair is no longer in the low bun but sitting messily on top of his head. And if you do say so yourself, he looks beautiful. Without asking him what his plans were you grab his hand and pull him outside.

“ So I never got your name towel boy…”

“It’s Sirius Black, what is yours hotel impersonator”

“Mine is y/n, and I was never pretending to be anyone, you simply assumed I was someone! Anyways, by your awful French I can tell you are not from here, so what are you doing here?”

“ fulfilling my destiny. My dad owns the hotel that we were in and wants me to run it. It’s not really what I wanna do but my dad’s not one you typically say no to so here I am. What about you? What are you doing in France?”

“ Well while you have your destiny, I’m trying to figure my destiny out and for some reason I have a feeling it’s in Greece” through this conversation, y’all have walked all around this beautiful, huge fountain, you both are kind of hungry, so you grab his hand and pull him in the direction of a restaurant. The waiters are dressed as soldiers from Napoleon times, and the restaurant itself is designed to look like it's from an era, but the food smells delicious so the two of you sit down and continue a conversation over some good food. “ There's this island on the far side of Greece that says if you pass it, you’ll fall off the end of the Earth. I don’t know why, but it’s my destiny to go there or at least part of my destiny. I still don’t know my true Destiny but I’m hoping I’ll find it when I get there.”

“ Wow, that’s beautiful. And it sounds extremely fun, but not exactly for me even though running the hotel isn’t exactly what I want to do. I know I would never want to live on a small island. I'm a big city guy myself. Part of the reason I said yes to run in the hotels is because it’s in Paris and what a beautiful city Paris is. On another note why don’t we talk about what’s going to happen between you and me tonight”

“ whoa Sirius that’s a bit bold there don’t you think”

“ Well I’ve been thinking about it since I ran into you and I can’t think of any reasons not to. Let’s look at the pros and cons. I’m only seeing pros here. What about you?”

“ I mean your lovely guy and you’re very handsome but we just met tonight”

“ yeah but when you talk about not knowing your destiny, you already know mine. And my Destiny is with you tonight.” All the sudden, he pushes back his chair so fast, the chair actually falls over, he gets on his knees in front of you and pretends like his heart is pounding out of his chest. “ I couldn’t escape my destiny even if I wanted to surrender, just like Napoleon did to my love for you. How could you ever refuse because I feel like we win when we lose!” You are a laughing mess . You pull him up by his ear, and just start to dance a little crazy to the music that’s playing in the background.

“ Okay Sirius, why not after dinner we can go have some fun!”

Although you had fun with Sirius, you knew Paris  wasn’t where you were meant to be. So you left him a note and some cash for the hotel room and quickly snuck out. You went back to your room and packed as fast as you could, you could’ve sworn you saw that the ferry schedule had ten minutes until it left. You don’t think you’ve ever run that fast in your entire life. Getting to the dock was easy, getting on the actual fairy was the hard part. Because the fairy was going to another country you had to go through customs. And the guy at customs was heckling you over how your hair grew out. Eventually he let you pass and you were running with everything in your hand. Some of your stuff is even falling out of your suitcase. Yet, the fairy still left without you. “ Wait, it’s not too late to turn around. My destiny is on that island!” All of a sudden you feel a top on your shoulder and turn around to see the handsomest dorkiest guy you can imagine. He had curly brown hair on top of his head, the cutest roundest glasses and an outfit that screamed rich sailor guy.

“ If I follow you around long enough, I’ll eventually have a whole new wardrobe,” you look to see what he’s talking about to see him, holding a good amount of your clothes and holding your bikini top up to his chest.

“ I don’t really think that's your style but you’re welcome to try it on.” he laughs and jumps on the boat right next to the dock. “ don’t worry, the next fairy wall will come tomorrow.”

The boat he’s on seems nice enough to be able to make it to the island you want to go to. Normally, you wouldn’t ask him if he could take you, but you swear something in the Island is calling to you and you’re gonna find out what it is. So in the softest and nicest telling you can manage, you simply ask him “ well what if I didn’t have to wait until tomorrow what if there is this boy-“

“ That's tall with glasses and handsome, who has 3 days until his sailing tournament?”

“ what if there’s this boy that is reasonably attractive with his boat, all to himself?”

“ oh, this boat isn’t actually mine. I was just trying to impress you.” Shoulders, dropping, and eyes to the sky. You take a deep breath and try to figure out your next moves. “ I’m just kidding, the boat is mine. Hop on. I’m James.” Laughing with relief and disbelief. You hop on the boat and hope for the best. He talks you through everything that he’s doing while he’s preparing the boat to set sail. When you’re out far enough, he leads you inside the boat where you’ll be staying. “ There's two beds, my lady. But as you can see, one of them is completely full, so it looks like we’ll be sharing.” The bed is simply full with a bunch of pools, Floaties you roll your eyes at him.

“ How convenient.” You say over your shoulder as you head back up the stairs. Unfortunately he wasn’t done talking yet.

“ You have one of those smiles that makes the rest of the world smile too. Luckily, the trip isn’t long enough so when you leave my boat, my fragile heart won’t be shattered.” he says, clutching his heart. Try not to laugh when you grab on the pole and swing around.

“ OK OK I get it now you’re one of them.”

“ one of who?”

“ one of those boys that falls in love so easily in the evening, just to fall out of it just as quickly in the morning. As you’re leaving you tell her it’s not her it’s you. You’re in too much pain for her to handle.” He is about to reply when you both hear a call for help. Looking around you see a man on a small boat and get closer.

“Please help me, my engine died and I have to get to my beautiful love! She’s waiting on the mainland for me. I have to get to her before her family marries her off to some rich old guy! Please please find it in your heart to help, I love her with all my heart and don’t want to be without her!”

One look at James and the both of you say at the same time “ of course we will help!” Reuniting him with his bride was beautiful. You pulled up to the mainland and he jumped on the boat right away screaming for his love. Unfortunately, it’s clear he didn’t know how to swim so you and James translated for him screaming to his bride that was about to get in the car on the way to the wedding about how much he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Next thing, the two of you notice is the girl in a wedding dress, jumping into the ocean swimming to her love. The both of you are so high on love you decide to go ahead and share the bed and share some love while you're at it.

It took a total of three days to get to the island, James drops you off at the dock worrying about you. “ Are you sure you’re gonna be OK? Do you need anything? I’ll be back here in three weeks after the tournament. Be careful. I swear there’s a storm coming.”

“ James stop, I'll be fine. It's wonderful here, just look at the green hills, the water, the rocks, and the history of the place. And what do you mean there’s a storm coming it’s clear skies it's a wonderful day!” After this you start to walk into the island. Turning around you give James one last look and blow him a goodbye kiss, and then you turn around and start your next adventure.

Wandering the island was fun, there was so much history here. In your adventures you stumbled upon this beautiful hotel. It was a little rundown, but you can see the future that it holds. The rain came out of nowhere. Turns out James was right and it’s a bad storm drenching you from head to toe. There’s a thudding sound coming from the other side of the building, carefully you make your way in to go see what it was. It turns out it was a horse tied to a string. It must have gotten spooked because of the storm. It was up on its hind legs. Overall it looked frightening not for you, but for the horse. Clearly the horse was in distress and you were on your way to help them. All of a sudden they kick the support beam, and the roof comes crashing in separating you from them. You did the only thing you can think of, you ran to go find some help. Running along the path, your shoes getting stuck in the mud said mud also getting kicked up onto your legs. Your hair is slicked down your back. You finally stumble upon someone driving a moped. You’re frantically asking for help. “ please please I need help. He’s so frightened and scared and I can’t get to him.”

“ Who is scared? What can I do to help you? hop on and tell me where to go?” Not even knowing your name, and not even knowing his name you go to help the horse. Between the two of you, the stranger talking to him and you getting a hold of the reins the horse finally calms down. You don’t feel like leaving him so you plan to stay in the barn-like structure with the horse all night. “ Do you need me to stay, I don't mind, I'm Remus, what's your name?”

“I’m y/n and if you’re sure you don’t mind I’m sure me and shadow that’s what I’m gonna name him wouldn’t mind the company. The storm doesn’t look like it’s gonna slow down anytime soon.” The two of you stay up talking and make sure Shadow is feeling better. Eventually you both fall asleep against shadow seeing as shadow ends up laying down with you. Waking up, you thought the stranger would be gone and it would be just you and shadow. However, you were pleasantly surprised when Remus was still there. “ Good morning Remus, I'm going to explore the town today. Can I invite you along to get you? I think I owe you breakfast?” you grab his hand and pull him out to his moped and let him lead the way.

Remus decides to show you around some of the shops before you decide to pick a place for breakfast. The both of you sit down and talk about anything and everything you learn about how he’s running away from his life back on the mainland and he learns that you were running towards your life with no idea of where it’s going. He says he has a week left, but he doesn’t seem excited to go back. After lunch, he takes you to walk around the island. Not sure how it’s possible but you’re already feeling like he could be it for you. So you tell him “ Remus I just want you to know that you’re gonna have to take it easy with me and take it slow. Let’s just let what happens happen and go from there okay?” This time he leads you back to his little shack and you spend the night together. In your head you were really thinking this is the most guys that you’ve slept with in this short of time. It hasn't even been a week yet you slept with three different guys? But you swear there’s something different about Remus and the way he looks at you, you know he feels it too.

In the morning he wakes you up and packs a picnic. He leads you to a boat and you both get on. You decide the time is now or never to tell him how you’re feeling. “ Remus I’m going to be honest with you and you might think I’m insanely crazy but I wasn’t kidding last night when I said I want to stay here forever. This is my home. This island is my destiny and I’m pretty sure you’re a part of that. I know you have your real life to get back to you in a week but maybe you do something crazy and you stay here.” he looks at you with something in his eyes that you can’t explain, but laughs

“I don’t think you’re crazy but I also don’t think it’s that easy.”

“ I’ll take that answer for now” you spend the entire day laughing and playing around on the small small island off the main island. Returning to his shack you both fall into bed together again.

In the morning, you wake up feeling open hearted, and as light as a butterfly. You know it’s only been a week but you can’t help it, your heart is open and ready to fall for Remus as soon as you let it. Deciding to go pick some oranges for breakfast  you grab a sack and walk around the back to the orange tree(of course since no one was around you used your magic to get them. But no one needs to know that). When you come back, your open heart is about to get broken again, but you don’t know that. You get the orange and start looking for a knife to cut it with you open up one of his drawers. Instead of a knife you find a journal with a picture sticking out. In hindsight you should have been more focused on the fact that the picture was a moving one(stuff you know muggles don’t have) but instead all you can focus on is the breaking of your heart. They say that a picture is worth 1000 words and you’ve never understood that until now. You pick up his journal and take a closer look at the picture to see Remus, and a girl, what catches your eye the most is the engagement ring on her hand. You’ve seen enough you grab your bag, your journal, put your shoes on and run back to the rundown hotel. He does have the decency to chase you, but for the first time you don’t wanna listen to anything Remus has to say. But you entertain his pleas for you to listen. “ I’ll listen when you answer three questions. Are you engaged to that beautiful woman in the picture?”

“Yes.”

“ Did you tell me that you were engaged?”

“ no.”

“ did you seriously think I would be OK with it?”

“Y/n please just listen”

“ I’ve done enough listening leave now”

He storms out as you storm up the stairs. When he left you explored a bit more and found a little spot outside where you can cry. Well, it’s only been a week but like you said you felt an incredible connection with him and now your hearts shattered. When you look up from the ground, you see him boarding a boat. The both of you hold eye contact until he’s too far away for you to see anymore. And with him your heart goes too.

The water is splashing on the dock while you wait for Lily and mary. You wrote to them to come out and visit. You had some important news. Unfortunately the important news is you are pregnant. All that is going through your head is how you will be doing this all on your own AND you have no idea who the father is. It could be Sirius, James or Remus. However you have no way to contact any of them, so it looks like it will be just you. They get off the boat and run to give you the biggest hug. In reality it has been less than a month, but these girls you spent your entire life with and not seeing them for even a day was too much. Seeing them again just brings back so many memories, not to mention the feelings of magic. You have been immersed in the muggle world and have hardly used your magic at all. The last memory of your magic is that fateful day when your heart got broken. “Lily! Mary! Oh how much I have missed you. Let's go to the cafe I told you about. I have so much to tell you.”

“Where is the future professor you were telling us about, the handsome one named remus?? We are dying to meet him!”

“So um… turns out he was engaged. To another woman. And she was beautiful…” Lily grabs you and hugs you, all of a sudden you feel Mary's arms around you as well.

“We are so sorry sweetheart, well let us go check out the cafe and see what kind of wine this place has.” All three of you walk to the cafe, the older lady who runs the cafe being the sweet lady. She has already started to prepare your glass of wine. When you decline it Lily takes it no question but the older lady gives you a look. “So now that we are sitting down, please darling tell us everything that happened with professor boy!”

“I was cheated by him, so I did what I do best, made up my mind that it was going to end. Lily, Mary i dont think i will ever learn… He sets a fire within my soul. With just one look from him I can hear bells ringing, I forget everything but him. And now it is all gone. And that is not even the worst thing… I think I might be pregnant… and I have no clue who the father is.” This is the first time you have ever seen lily go speechless and may spit out wine.

“What do you mean” they both say at the same time… So for the rest of the evening you go and tell them about everything that has happened. They try to get you to leave and you were almost considering it, until Sophia, the older cafe owner, butts in the conversation.

“You know y/n you don't have to leave. That old hotel you are staying in, who do you think owns it? I do. Me. And you can stay there rent free if you fix it up. You'll have a roof over your head for you and your child.”

“Why would you do that Mrs. Sophia, you don't know me??”

“I judge a person's heart by how they treat animals, and that night in the storm you saved, hector my horse.”

“Oh… I named him Shadow, but Hector fits him more. I would love nothing more than to stay. Thank you so much Mrs. Sophia, I will not let you down!” running out of the cafe with lily and mary still trying to convince you to go back with them you run all the way to your new home. It's going to be a lot of work, you know this. But looking at the building you can envision your future here. You and your child's future.

August 1991

That brings you to where you are now… Sitting in front of three guys you believe you would never see again. You are not an angel by any means, but you are currently damning Albus to hell for doing this. If he would have just accepted the fact that you are not sending your daughter to Hogwarts and left you be, you would be fine. Secretly teaching her magic behind closed doors. You cannot get out of your head until Remus stands up.

“Well clearly something is going on. So Y/N would you please explain why we are all here?”

“Whoa you have no right to demand anything from me, you two timing cheaters! I need you all to leave, Now.” Storming out of the room you go to the room in which your daughter is blissfully unaware of what is going on and use magic to call Lily and Mary and get them here ASAP. Thankfully your private bedroom has a fireplace so they can floo powder over here now. Both of them rush to you yet you rush to the bathroom. You try to explain what is happening and going on but your words are muffled because you are currently hiding from your daughter. However with Lily and Mary fussing over you and you hiding from her she was able to sneak out and explore with her wand. You have been teaching her Lumos and that is why currently she is dancing through the hallways with her wand alight from one end. Luckily she doesn't get far but she does go where you were hoping she would never go, in the same room as her three possible dads.

She is at that age where she knows she is different from her peers. Her friends have dads and she doesn’t. She is open minded and she is open mouthed. So she takes it upon herself to ask every man/boy she sees if they are her father. That’s made for some very interesting shopping trips. So what does her brain tell her to do when she sees three guys her moms age sitting in a room? “Are one of you my dad?” This makes them all chuckle.

“We are not sure, sweetheart. Why don't you go ask your mom.” James didn't mean to sound so scared, but he has never been asked a question like that. Once she is gone he pulls out the letter he got form dumbledore and reads it aloud while the other two boys follow along on their letters. “Dear James, It is imperative to the future of the wizarding community you fly to the island listed below and change y/n’s mind. Again this is imperative to everyone's future. Signed Albus and Minerva.” They all got the same letter, the only thing that was different was their names. None of them knew what was going on, but any chance to see y/n again was one they were going to take. But the question was on all of their minds, how did the others know y/n? They never mentioned anything about her. James is the first to speak, “so, clearly we all know y/n, but how? I mean I know how I know her, but what about you two?”

Sirius never lost his attitude or his long hair, “I spent one day with her in France when I was first taking over the French hotel for dad, it was the summer of 1980.”

“Whoa no way. I spent three days with a y/n when taking her to this island… she needed a boat and it was right before my sailing tournament that summer… So you are saying we slept with the same girl in the same summer? What about you remus? How do you know her? She seemed pissed at you?” James basically yells.

“I don't want to talk about it. I'm not sure what is going on. But clearly she doesn't want me here. So I think I am going to leave.” Remus says dejectedly. He truly doesn't want to leave, what you don't know is after he left, he came back looking for you. But he couldn't find you. He turns to leave to see a very angry looking red head girl.

“Hello you three doofuses. I am Lily, y/n best friend. Now can you explain what on earth you are doing here, before you make me use an unforgivable curse?”

James goes as red as her hair and holds his hands up. “Whoa we got these letters and came because it seemed important!” He shoves the letter in her direction while trying to smirk at her. It was not working. She was too involved in who was breaking her best friend's heart and who sent her niece away upset because he was not nice to her. She snatched it out of his hand, pointed to the couch where all three men sat and turned to walk back out. Mary sits with y/d/n while lily is in the bathroom with you cleaning your tears and telling you everything is going to be okay.

You have been in your room with your daughter all day. Too afraid to go out, so thankfully Lily knows everything about running the hotel and was able to step in for you. However the need for food is too much so you leave the sanctuary your room provides. It’s dinner time, they should be gone just like you asked. Mary, Lily, you and y/d/n go down to the restaurant attached to the hotel. Your good mood is about to be shattered. Looking up from y/d/n you see all three boys sitting there laughing and joking with each other. Confused, you march right up to them, “What part of leave now do you not understand??”

“We are not leaving until you tell us what is going on.”

“Honestly none of it is your business. My family and I have been fine on our own and I don’t need you three coming in here and ruining everything. Any other questions or can I please go and enjoy dinner with my family?” They knew something was going on, but they didn't know what… Why does Dumbledore need them here? How does he even know about y/n. Clearly y/d/n has magic, but do you? With more questions than answers they just simply eat dinner and catch up. Once dinner was finished Remus reflected on everything James is a writer in the muggle world and wizard world, and Sirius is now CEO of his dads company. They all have their lives in and out of magic. But something they do know is your daughter has magic and this hotel was restored with magic. They can feel the magic running through the walls. But that begs the question as to who has the magic? You or someone else. What is the possibility of someone else having the magic then you having a magic daughter. The more he thinks about it the more certain they are that you have magic.

The next day y/d/n was exploring the island, you know it’s not dangerous and everyone here loves you and your daughter. So you know it’s safe for her to wander around. She goes down to the dock to watch the fish. What she sees however is a MASSIVE boat(well massive to her) and starts to look at it! She then notices James and shyly walks up to him. He smiles at her, a lot less nervous than the first time he spoke with her. Seeing as she is an extension of you he treats her like family. They go swimming together and he lets her explore the boat while explaining what each part does.

Eventually she left James but she was not done. Her next stop was the little shop by the beach where they make yummy drinks for her. When she gets there she notices another one of the weird guys from the hotel. This is the one with black long hair. She climbs on the stool next to him and waves at the girl working at the shop and smiles when she sees her begin to make her favorite drink. Without thinking she grabs the guys hair and whispers pretty. He normally doesn’t let people touch his hair, but when she is looking at him with the puppy dog eyes that look just like yours he can’t help it. That’s how they spend time until dinner. Doing each others hair, she learns his name is Sirius but calls him Siri. For a boy he is really good at doing hair, she thinks. When the clock hits 5:30pm she knew she had to rush home so you didn’t lose your mind.

However when she got back to the hotel, she didn’t just go right inside. She went to her favorite place, the garden with the little bench she reads at. When she got there she realized someone was already there. One of those three guys was also here! What an adventure she had today. The first day that three random people were here on her island she got to meet all of them. She does what she does best and goes up to him and asks him what he is reading. Now Remus is the smartest one. He had a feeling once he got the letter from Dumbledore that he had a kid and that’s what the whole thing was about. Remus wanted to step up and be the father he couldn’t be. He showed her his wand and was sneakily asking questions like, “does mom have a wand? Who teaches you?” Once she answered his suspensions were right. You did have magic. And you are the one that has been teaching her. During their little hangout he taught her how to plant and grow a tree! However she had to go because she heard you calling for her and telling her dinner was ready. With one more hug to Remus she runs off to find a you.

At dinner she tells you all about her adventures with James, Sirius, and Remus. As any good mother would do, you scold her for playing with strangers, she knows who she can and cannot hang out with. However what catches your ear is when she said she was growing trees with Remus. Now like any sane person would you immediately think of planting seeds, but then she shows you the orange she picked from the tree they grew together. If you were a muggle you might have brushed it off as a child's imagination. But you know magic when you see it. This means that at least Remus has magic, now that you are thinking about it you remember the picture of him and his fiance moving much like a picture from the wizarding world. After dinner you plan to track him down and confront him.

y/d/n is in her room with aunt mary and lily having a girls night while you are in search of answers. Not knowing where he was or what he was doing you think back. First you check the stables where you spent your first night together, he wasn't there. Then you try his old shack, which is run down and falling apart, he was not there. Your last hope was the little part of the beach where the entire week he was here yall would spend time together at. Making your way down there you can see him from afar. You take a moment to prepare yourself. In all honesty you never stopped loving him. Even though it was a week, that week was the only time you felt alive until your daughter was born. Shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts you make your way down to get some answers.

Being a bit dramatic the first thing you do is pull out your wand and aim it at him. While he puts his hands up he does not look frightened. But the fact that he put his hands up and didn't laugh at you means your thoughts were true. He must be a wizard. Never one to beat around the bush you ask, “are you a wizard?” he just nods and shrugs his shoulders. “How come you never told me??”

“Well to be fair you never told me either.” he says while pointing to your wand, “plus if you weren't a wizard imagine how crazy I would have sounded.”

“That's true but still.” you give him a look and start laughing with him like old times before your heart was broken. All of a sudden you stop and get serious, “why are you here remus? And not just in this spot but on the island?”

“I put it together and I figured it out. The only question is who huh? Who is the dad? Me, James, or Sirius?”

“I don't know nor do I care. y/d/n and I have been fine all our lives and we will continue to be fine. How come you are not back on the midland with your family. I am sure that the beautiful woman you call a wife did not appreciate you dropping everything to come here.”

Remus thought it was now or never to tell you the full truth. “y/n you don't know this, but I came back. I came back for you. But they told me you already left and moved on. So I did the only rational thing. I went back. Got married. Was teaching at a muggle college. But we soon found out that my heart was not in the marriage. My heart belonged to a different girl. The marriage was a lie neither of us wanted to live anymore. So I have been alone for a good while and I went back to muggle school to become a teacher for high school students. I have nothing. I know you can't forgive me but I would love nothing more than to stay here with you. I can teach y/d/n magic and normal school stuff. I can help you with the hotel. Please just don't make me leave. I brought everything I own hoping you would at least let me stay.” He takes a deep breath and looks at you with eyes that rival your daughters in the puppy dog look.

That conversation between the two of you went well into the morning. You talked about anything and everything, what you have been doing in those 11 years apart from what to do with y/d/n and her dad. How he would love to step in as her dad, but also gets it if you don't want that. And talking about what to do with the other two guys.

In the morning you both made your way back to the hotel and saw James and Sirius in the cafe for breakfast. Looking at each other you think it's now or never. Together hand in hand you make your way over to them. Sitting down and explaining the situation went a lot smoother because you had Remus. It has been less than a week since he has been here back in your life but already you feel the effects he has on you. James and Sirius are shocked but spoke in all honesty they are not ready to be full time fathers. So while Remus took over the father figure they took up the roles of uncles.

Years later Albus Dumbelore got a letter for him and Minerva. He noticed the sender and immediately ripped it open. What he found inside made him smile and call Minerva into his office. Together they read: we are pleased to invite you to the wedding of y/n y/l/n and Remus Lupin. Below in what can only be your handwriting they read: without your meddling we would not be here. So of course you have an invite to the wedding. We hope to see you there.

Thank you so much to @whoahoney and @maddipoof y’all are the best and I cannot thank you enough for all the encouragement and support(lord knows I need it)

A/n please be kind im still working at getting better 💕

#remus x you #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin x yn #remus lupin x you #remus being remus #remuslupin #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin #remus lupin fluff #james potter #james potter fluff #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x reader #james potter x reader fluff #james potter blurb #james potter imagine #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #sirius black x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius x reader #sirius being sirius #sirius black #sirius black and reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black one shot

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds Series Masterlist

Remus Lupin x fem!healer!reader multi part series

“What deep wounds ever closed without a scar?” -Lord Byron

Series Summary: a multi part series about Remus and healer!reader slowly falling in love and trying to navigate the werewolf side of Remus

Series Warnings: swearing, doctors/healers, blood, wounds, werewolves, discrimination against werewolves

All Writings Masterlist Taglist

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 1.5: Coming Soon

#hp fanfic #hp fanfcition #harry potter #sirius black #james potter #peter pettigrew #remus lupin #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #harry potter fanfiction #hp marauders #marauders era #the marauders #remus lupin x healer!reader #remus lupin fanfiction

[mootiemoose]

remus lupin fic rec list

i've been on a remus lupin bender since the beginning of the year and have read some rather fantastic moony centric fic in that time. thought i would compile them into a list - just in case anyone else was feeling similar. with love, mootie x

I'll be updating as I find more, i hope! if you can point any more my way, I would be more than happy to find some!

~Remus x Reader ~

A Bewitching Christmas by batkat (AO3)

Reader is a spy working for the Order, set during Order of the Phoenix. You get roped into spending Christmas with Sirius at Grimmuald place and bump into an old friend. All sorts of shenanigans ensue. I liked the feel of this story, it felt very homely. How all the characters interact, the relationships (especially between Sirius and the reader!) and how beautifully written this is makes you really feel like you're there!

Werewolves of London by 2049s (AO3)

This one is ongoing, but I'm enjoying it too much not to include it! This story follows the reader, a groundskeeper at Hogwarts and Dumbledores personal bodyguard, as she goes about life at Hogwarts. She watches from the side lines as her old friends son, Harry, grows up before her eyes. Until a certain DODA professor arrives, causing feelings and grief long put to rest to resurface. I love how original this is! Her relationships with all the characters are so real and 3D. I love how she signs and how expressive she is with her language. I can't wait to see where this goes next! X

~Remus x O/C~

Sky Above by stephie177 (Wattpadd)

Tamsin Weasley is the oldest of the Weasley siblings. She is the Astronomy professor at Hogwarts. It follows Tam through several years, starting when Sirius escapes from Azkaban right to Voldemorts return. Along the way she meets some interesting characters, and falls in love with a certain professor! Tam was such a interesting character to follow, and I just loved how mischievous she is!

The Marriage Law by theawrites (Wattpadd)

The TikTok famous, no war au fic, that most definitely lives up to the hype. The Ministry has passed a law for all young eligible wizards to marry, and given them all the name of their soulmate. The story follows Aurora Sullivan, a gifted young witch, who is matched with Remus Lupin. Which would all be fine and well, if they didn't despise each other. We follow them as they meet and try to plan their wedding, forge new friendships and try their best to get on given their circumstances. I loved this fic, how Remus is portrayed is so raw. Aurora is such a complex character, and to see her grow throughout the book was a privilege.

Wounded Souls Series by canarypuff (AO3)

The first book, Torment me more, follows Drea Mabry an apprentice healer on placement at Hogwarts Infirmary for a year.. We follow Drea as she makes mistakes in love and life accompanied by her ex boyfriend Charlie Weasley, wreaks havoc with her best friends Aisha and Nova, and butts heads with the new DODA Professor, Remus Lupin. The story ends on such a brutal cliff-hanger, that you need to find out what happens next!

Enter stage right, Against Reason, the second instalment in the series. I have never been so happy to see a sequel in my life! It's still ongoing, so I wont say too much other than, it takes place in the Order of the Phoenix, and Drea is called to join the Order by Dumbledore himself. Things aren't the same as they were before, but will they work things out? Or will everyone carve a different path? I can't wait to find out! I have loved this story, how canarypuff manages to capture every character so perfectly you would reckon magic is involved.

Moonlight series by Fellykins (AO3)

Forged by Moonlight is set during Michelle Derikson's Hogwarts days, where she makes friends (none to some as the Maruaders) and makes the quidditch team. She falls in love too, and by the end of the book has a brand new surname. The book ends at the finale of the first wizarding war, and all the grief that comes with it. The ending had me in pieces - you've been warned!

Into The Moonlight, the second in the ongoing series, starts off 10 years after the first ended with none other than Albus Dumbledore turning up on Michelle Lupin's doorstep with a job offer. She accepts, and starts her new job as Professor of Muggle Studies the same year as Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts. We follow Michelle as she settles in to her new position, and the subsequent joys and sorrows of teaching at a magical school. In her 3rd year of teaching a new DODA Professor causes quite a str for her and son Sebastian. But will it cause more harm than good? I am loving this series! How charming Remus is, how strong Michelle is. How well the series spins together new scenes and old. can't wait to see where it goes!

Remus and Iolanthe Series by SammysDove_CrowleysKitten (AO3)

An oldie, but a goodie. I remembered this fic from my last Remus Lupin binge, a good few years ago. Its an AU where Harry never went to live with the Dursleys but instead his Aunt Iolanthe, his Fathers younger sister, and her husband, Uncle Remus. It's a series of one shots and short fics compiled into a beautiful series. It follows Iolanthe and Remus as they survive life with a rambunctious nephew, a loveable but infuriating lodger, Sirius, and a job offer at Hogwarts. I love this story, for many reasons. Some of whom are doused in nostalgia, but mostly because I love the relationship between Remus and Iolanthe. I love how stubborn they both are, how caring they are. How much they care for their little family, and how they fight to protect it.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin/reader #remus lupin x oc #remus lupin/oc #maruaders era #lightning era #remus john lupin #professor lupin #harry potter #remus lupin fanfiction #poa #hp ootp #hp fanfic #maruaders fanfic #fanfic rec #fic rec #fic rec list #remus lupin fic #remus lupin x you #remus lupin/you #remus lupin fic rec

[zvdvdlvr]

harry potter ( masterlist )

➳ 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢.

header from @satwrnier

guide:

💋 - author’s favorite

🤍 - fluff

❤️‍🔥 - spicy

❤️‍🩹- angst

📌 - concept

💌 - blurb

🎞️ - moodboard

🎱 - headcanon

↬ Harry Potter

first night back ( harry potter )❤️‍🩹🤍

request: May I request a one shot Harry Potter with a reader who’s basically his personal healer, they’ve known each other since they were neighbors and she always looked out for him and banged him up and Harry is super protective of her.

↬ Theo Nott

dancing with the moon as our witness ❤️‍🔥🤍

a moment of tranquility for the two lovers.

↬ Draco Malfoy

killshot ❤️‍🔥

a party in the slytherin common room at midnight os always eventful

because i'm in love with you 🤍

draco needs the comfort only his girlfriend can bring during a death eaters meeting (or, in which y/n brings draco to tears with her loving words).

↬ Regulus Black

five times regulus black felt his heart stop 🤍

silly little distraction 🤍❤️‍🔥

regulus needs a way to distract y/n from acing the potions test... hopefully distracting her from her midnight studies will help in more ways than one ( wink wink, nudge nudge )

fluff alphabet 🤍

↬ Cedric Diggory

fluff alphabet 🤍

↬ Remus Lupin

favorite bothersome husband 🤍

request: royal!au remus x male!reader, remus goes to annoy his husband because he's tired of king stuff

professor!remus x whiny!crybaby!reader ❤️‍🔥

acceptance 🤍❤️‍🩹

request: teacher remus noticing reader is upset and asks them what's wrong after which reader basically comes out as trans (ftm)?

movie night 🤍

request: remus & reader cuddling and watching halloween movie??

to have you 🤍❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥

bodyguard!remus yearns ror someone he cant have

pretty boys 🤍🤍🤍🤍

after a long day, grueling quidditch practice, and the full moon in a week and a half, the boys just need their girl

convincing dealer!rem to smoke w you ❤️‍🔥🤍

↬ Sirius Black

not one soul like yours, darlin' ❤️‍🩹

it's upsetting what people do to destroy other peoples' happiness.

every part of me 🤍

y/n recieves a letter from her lover, sirius black

until the end ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

y/n is a sensitive subject when sirius finds out how they met their demise while sirius was in azkaban

↬ Ominis Gaunt

Odd🤍

Ominis decides to sit with you as you finish your breakfast. An odd- and flirtatios- conversation ensues.

↬ Aesop Sharp

Give Me A Reason 🤍❤️‍🩹

You want to be an Auror. As one of his favorite and brightest students, Aesop tries to convince you to not put your life on the line for a job.

#harry potter #harry potter masterlist

[ashdreams2023]

Harry Potter headcanons:

Draco crushing on a student from another house

Take care of them when injured {Harry, snape}

Platonic severus snape x sarcastic student reader

Remus lupin x half werewolf reader

Sirius black x small reader

Lucius malfoy x kid reader

Luna lovegood x best friend reader

Platonic severus snape x gen sibling reader

Living with Sirius black as a healer

Lucius Malfoy x crybaby housewife (sensitive)

Dating Harry James potter headcaons

Severus snape x reader with a sweet tooth x lucius Malfoy (poly)

Severus snape x reader who collects mushroom things x lucius Malfoy (poly)

#harry potter headcanon #Harry Potter fandoms #harry potter requests #golden trio era #severus snape

[bloodypapercut]

always here (r.l. x reader)

request: hi hi hi!!! can i request professor remus lupin x healer reader(instead of pomfrey she works at hogwarts) they are married and she comforts him and heals him after a full moon? thank you!🥺💖

sorry it took so long for me to get to writing this, school hasn’t been the kindest but here it is! I hope you enjoy <3 

word count: 1.3k 

He’s never dreaded a transformation as much as he’s dreaded this one. His first transformation as a professor, his first transformation at Hogwarts without all of his friends. Everything was different, it pained Remus to think about it. Within a couple of hours he wouldn’t be the quiet and reserved man that he usually was. As he walked down the corridor he observed the portraits moving, the cobwebs around their frames, creaky wooden doors, and abandoned books and quills sitting on benches. He was in a daze, his melancholy cloaked him and the pain from wishing things could be the same couldn’t compare to any pain he’s ever gone through from a full moon. His thoughts plagued his mind so deeply that he didn’t hear the rapid footsteps that increased in volume before coming to a quick halt.

“Rem? Darling, you alright?” Turning around Remus looked down to see Y/N, his only remaining friend from his years at Hogwarts, his best and dearest friend. She was still dressed in her uniform and her hair was still up, an indicator that she had just finished making sure all the students under her care were comfortable and asleep.

“Of course love, it’s just...well you know.” Y/N had never seen Remus this dejected. She knew he abhorred his transformations, she knew that he hated feeling like a burden to her and she knew that that wasn’t the only thing that was tearing him down.

“I miss them too, but we have each other, that’s something no one can ever take away from us.” The forced smile that adorned his face slowly turned into a tight grin and he extended his arms for her to encase herself in.

It was a tradition of theirs, to walk around the halls hours before his transformation then separate, Y/N going to the common room to wait for the return of the marauders and Remus going to the shrieking shack. This very tradition led to them becoming a couple, he remembers the moment he confessed to her, the memory makes Remus glad he took Sirius’ advice all those years ago, but thinking about Sirius now makes Remus’ mood turn bitter so he tries to avoid reliving memories involving him.

They walked through the hallways, their conversation devoid of any sense of genuine interest or joy, no matter how hard they tried to force an air of comfort, how hard they tried to act like it was the same as any other transformation they went through together, they couldn’t deny it. They were scared, but they couldn’t do anything else but pretend it was all fine, that this was normal.

Y/N squeezed his hand when they passed the door of her old common room, the place where they had their first kiss. It brought a sense of comfort and just for a second, they forgot about everything around them. The awkward giggles, their clumsy attempts to make the height difference work, the tendrils of her hair that got caught between them, the rush of excitement when they felt when they finally did meet each other's lips. They continued walking their conversation gradually becoming less strained as they did what they could to block out the harsh reality around them.

“Guess I’m off now beautiful, I’ll see you in a couple of hours okay?” He let go of her hand and kissed her forehead lightly. Her trembling hands reached forward to hold his face and stroke her thumb over an old scar.

“It’s going to be alright love.” He nodded pressing their foreheads together, nuzzling their noses and kissing softly.

--------

Y/N flicked through an old scrapbook smiling as the pictures danced and moved, her attention completely invested in the pleasant memories until a knock and the soft cries of the door brought her back to earth. As soon as she looked up, her eyes widened and it took everything in her to suppress a cry of sympathy for her husband. He looked battered, contused, and completely vulnerable. His kind grin seemed out of place on his decrepit form, and Y/N knew he was only smiling for her sake.

“Oh, Merlin! Rem, sit, go on sit down.” She rapidly grabbed her supplies and kneeled next to his feeble body. Gripping his hand she realized that he had never been this weak before. The lacerations and contusions nearly devoured him, it took everything in her not to cry. Her heart raced, she was sure Remus could sense that because he kissed her knuckles and hummed. Filled with perturbation, she lifted his shirt and gasped at the myriad of abrasions that littered his body.

“This is going to hurt a bit okay? Just tell me when to stop.” Another hum as he pushed her hair back. A damp cloth slowly wiped the dirt and blood off his limp body, his muscles clenching slightly due to the new sensation. After setting the cloth down on a wooden table she fished through her bag to get the ointment. Slowly the eyedropper was pulled out of the bottle, the fluid dripping on the floor momentarily before falling into the cuts on his freckled chest and stomach. His grunts and seethes of pain distracted her for a mere second but she continued, knowing that it was better to give him relief as soon as possible. After every drop of the ointment, she pressed a kiss to a random part of his body, followed by a soft whisper telling him how much she adored him. She smiled as his breathing became steadier and as the cuts turned into light scars and bruises faded to his normal skin tone.

“Turn over love.” She continued working on him, leaving plasters and bandages on wounds that would take a bit longer to heal. She kissed each of his shoulders and tapped him, signalling she was done. 

“All better, let’s get you cleaned up okay?” She draped one of his cardigans over his shoulder and led him to the washroom that connected to their shared room.

As soon as the water was warm enough she ushered for him to sit in the tub while she ran off to get him clothes and a book quickly. He chuckled as her hasty footsteps and the shuffling of objects came into earshot, his heart swelled thinking about how much he loved her, how he knew that no one else would ever treat him as good as she does. His feelings for her grew stronger with every second he knew he had her, and he just wished he could tell that scared little boy all those years ago that he would find someone that felt like home and that treated him like an irreplaceable relic. Upon her return his smile grew, he watched as she sunk to her knees once more and started to clean him off, staring in awe at the ring on her finger as it sparkled.

“All done, want to get out?”

“No, not yet, can you join me? Only if you want.” She smiled and got in with him, leaning her head against his chest, making sure not to aggravate any of his wounds. They sat in silence, letting the candle in the room slowly die down, the only light coming from the other room.

“We’re gonna be alright.”

“I know, I’ve got you, that’s all I need.”

“You never grew out of that sappy comments phase.”

“Never will love, I am simply too deeply in love with you to ever stop.”

“Shut up you sap.” She giggled, splashing him with water.

“No, say it back, you know you want to.” Water kept flowing down her head, causing her giggles and the sound of water to reverberate in the room.

“Fine, fine I’m madly and utterly in love with you too.”

#remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x healer #mauraders era #harry potter

[an-anonimous-writer]

THE LUCKY ONE

Full credits to the GIF creator

Summary: fame was never easy and Remus warned you, after six years you want to start again.

Remus Lupin x famous!f Reader.

Warnings: none, if you think there is one, please let me know.

Words: 1228

A/N: This fic is heavily inspired by The Lucky One from Taylor Swift :)) and maybe there will be a part 2.

EDIT: part 2 is up now :)

marauders era masterlist

The stage was huge and ready for you to step on it. Your school years are long forgotten and everyone you’ve ever cared for too, even Remus. It was a shame how it all ended, all because of the difference between your ambitions, you’ve always wanted to be famous, some way, somehow.

He told you to quit your dreams, to think of something more realistic, like a healer or maybe a professor at Hogwarts. You thought about it through your last year, pursuing a real career and becoming a healer. You were great at healing his wounds, but you were so unhappy thinking about it being your future.

You were a great singer too, that was your passion, being under the lights and singing your heart to everyone that wanted to hear you. You created a band, The Marauders, you as the lead singer, James as the second guitar, Remus as the bassist and Sirius as the drummer. And you understood there, you felt great when people came to your shows and cheered, but as their last years at Hogwarts loomed they started thinking about profession that you knew, deep down, they didn’t like.

Your relationship with Remus ended with huge fights every night because of who you wanted to be. One night you packed your things and fled to London, pursuing your dreams and leaving all behind…

Now you were there, in front of millions of judges, or fans, your first concert of the year. You became everything you wanted to be, you changed your name, moved to a new town and since then your name was written in every magazine. You were famous. You were so lucky, or that’s what everyone told you. Your songs were streaming everywhere at every second in every part of the world, most of those were copies of the ones you wrote with him in school. It reminded you of where you came from.

But fame, oh fame is cold and unforgiving. You hated your new self, how you treated everyone and you hated how your bed sheets covered a new person each night, none of them knowing your name or if they did, they didn't matter. Every secret you told to your ‘‘friends’’ ended up splash on the news and you hated it, you hated this life. You felt oh so unlucky, so used, as if you were a toy. So you decided that tonight’s show was the last one. And so it was.

As the last notes were streaming, you started running, leaving the cheering behind and everyone who told you to stay. You ran to your car, your manager chasing you and punching the trunk, but you sped out of it, went home and started packing everything, your money, your clothes, your awards, but most importantly your dignity. Then you thought, he was right.

You were back, England, your home. You knew where to go. You asked for a cab and went to the countryside, you hoped the same house you once fled would still be there.

You knocked at the door, waiting impatiently and picking your last traces of black nail polish, and then it opened. Remus behind it, pure shock on his face. He scanned you, head to feet, and so did you. You noticed how scars grew bigger and how he grew a bit taller. You threw yourself into his embrace and cried, how much have you missed him.

‘‘W-what are you doing here?’’ he said. His voice was way deeper than you remembered and comforting. You wanted to be between his arms forever.

‘‘I- I just… I guess…’’ you tried saying between sobs, but you couldn’t, the only thought in your head was the warmth you were feeling.

‘‘Okay, calm down, breathe in and out’’ He held your shoulders so you could look at him, and led you inside.

He sat you down on a green couch, it was even more comfortable than yours, he went to the kitchen and prepared tea. You started to calm down after all the commotion and the sound of water boiling and the smell of species soothed you. It was strange being there, you were used to big mansions, full of people and parties, it was as if the life you’ve lived before didn’t exist.

‘‘Here, take it’’ He handed you your favourite tea. You took it and maintained it with your two hands, it was the right moment

‘‘You were right’’ you blurted out, in a whisper.

‘‘What?’’ he questioned, sitting next to you.

‘‘You were right’’ you repeated, tears welling in your eyes. You broke down bawling. He put his hand on your back, moving it up and down in a soothing way.

You felt so good and right with him, being unknown for everyone else but him. There, you were lucky, and no one had to tell you. Until the creak of the stairs, it awoke you. Remus stood up quickly, leaving your back cold.

‘‘Rem, I heard the knock are you r-’’ A woman's voice started, until she saw you. ‘‘Is that-’’ she couldn’t finish the sentence because she started feeling starstruck.

‘‘Anne, don’t, please. She is not having a great day, it seems, but she is going. Now’’ Remus spared you a look, his gaze hardened. You weren’t welcome no more.

‘‘Maybe, I-, yes, I should get going, there are more people I have to greet’’. You put your cup of tea on the wooden table and bid goodbye to the woman, Anne you thought was her name.

Remus accompanied you to the door. You wanted to cry.

‘‘I-, sorry, it was Anne, my fiancée…’’ Your heart broke, but you could understand life keeps going without you. ‘‘I don’t really know what to say, it’s a surprise seeing you here, after’’ he paused to think ‘‘seven years, and it killed me when I read the magazines. Your life page and mine were completely different, a different guy each night, I wanted to be those guys.’’

He sighed and your lip started to quiver, you also hoped for all of them to be Remus and they weren’t. You have always wanted Remus.

‘‘Until I met Anne, she is… She isn’t you’’ You felt as if someone stabbed you multiple times, she didn’t want you anymore ‘‘She works as a healer and she is the kindest person you would ever meet, she is wonderful and she accepts me, and… I had waited for you, the first years of my relationship with her’’.

‘‘But we can try, if you have waited all these-’’ you were cut by him.

‘‘Have you understand anything? Shit! I have a fiancée! I can’t just leave her because you feel overwhelmed with everything you wanted at first! I warned you, but your heart impered the fame, I was always a second choice after fame and you know that!’’ he shouted angrily.

You flinched at his tone, when he realised he stopped screaming, he was sad and disappointed, with you, with him, with how you two ended. He wanted to be with you, but Anne was in his life now.

‘‘I should get going Remus, and I was- I’ll go to James’ house, he is still with Lily, isn’t it?’’ you asked, trying to lighten the mood. He only nodded and closed the door behind him.

A few hours passed, you had cried, but you were waiting for the taxi now, Remus came and stood by your side, later, you knew he felt guilty and didn’t want you to feel alone. It was your time to go when the taxi arrived. But before you entered the cab, he caught your hand and pulled you in for the last kiss you could never share.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin #famous reader #james potter #peter pettigrew #regulus black #sirius black #the marauders #remus angst #remus fluff #taylor swift #reader being in a band #reader relates to the lucky one #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin i adore you #i want to be reader