#she looks somehow unfinished but do i care | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xyouami · 4 months

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hi! i wanted to ask if you can do a Scaramouche × female reader when scara finds the reader self harming/trying to suicide. Thank youu! <3

YES YES OFCC!!!! IDK HOW LONG THIS HAS BEEN IN MY INBOX, AND FORGIVE ME IF I HAVENT SEEN THIS FOR A WHILE.. 😭😭😭

Who knows, maybe I'll add a lil twist to the end for suspension... 😈😈 /hj

—————

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

★ SYNOPSIS : He caught you trying to do it. Who knows what his heartless mind will do?

THEMES/WARNINGS : Suicide, SH, dark topics, some of it is in first person, you've already dated someone, u r 7th fatui harbinger, anything you can think of as bad..

Everyday,

Every night,

Every week,

Every month,

Every.

Day.

Fatui meetings, missions, every minute it's so frustrating.

Every day, is just the same. Nothing changes. But the only thing changes, is my motivation.

All I just wanted was for someone to notice my hard work, at least just a single praise can bring up my hopes.

Overworked, tiring and restless days, food just tastes bitter. After I joined the fatui for personal purposes, my partner left me. They said, "I wouldn't want to date someone who'd work for the devil."

Not that I was doing it for her.

As the 7th fatui harbinger, what could ever go wrong? I mean, treated with some care by the other harbingers isn't bad at all. Columbina is the kindest one of them all, yet terrifying. Arlecchino is barely here but when she is here, she treats everyone to a meal. How could everyone have a kind heart of their own?

Dottore is very foolish despite his rank. Pulcinella takes care of Tartaglia's family which is very kind. Pierro is actually gentle despite his cold and harsh demeanor. Sandrone gave me a small doll of a flower, to always make me remember that summer will always be with me wherever I go. Pantalone once broke a valuable vase, but he fixed it on his own when he had the time. He told no one but me.

Tartaglia always checks up on the Fatui harbingers. He seem outgoing and cheerful most of the time, but when he's alone, he's so quiet and dense. Captiano is scary, but can also protect us. Scaramouche isn't here often, but hes not a trouble to bother. He sometimes comes to talk to me to rant or just come to bother my company. Signora was the closest to me. She's strict yet I sometimes catch her playing with the children at the House of Hearth. Ever since her death, I felt... quite lonely. But I've accepted it.

How can everyone be so busy and kind of their own?

And I'm just a rotting body.

I envy them.

"Comrade! What are you doing just wasting time away like this?" You turned your head immediately to the familiar voice, to see a ginger colored head with a beaming smile, but void like eyes.

"Oh, um.. I'm.." You looked back at the table to see a desk full of unfinished and uninteresting papers. You game to the main hall to work on paperwork. Only to realize you've zoned out and gotten no progress.

"Let me help you." He immediately scooped up a pile of papers, some of them fell but he lifted his foot to catch one drifting to the ground.

"How long have you been here? You okay, Comrade?" Childe gave you a friendly smile, the dim moonlight coming from the large windows only casted a small glimmer in his eyes.

"I uh... I don't—"

"Don't worry about it! I'll come back to you once I've finished, but you owe me a meal!" Childe left as he threw the paper on his foot back into his tall pile of papers and walked off.

"W-wait! Tartaglia!—" You stood up from your seat to turn around and stop him. To only be met with an empty and dark hallway, only being lit by the moonlight from the windows.

"I..." nothing but mutters came out of your mouth.

"How can I be so pathetic?" A quiet voice came from you. Only to sit back in your seat to see no papers. Columbina was suddenly there. It was normal for her to appear out of thin air around the Zapolyarny Palace.

"It seemed like you had some trouble, I'll do the rest of the papers." She was holding all of the papers somehow, and you felt nothing but guilty.

"You really don't. It's my work.." you muttered slowly.

"Fatui harbingers may work independently, but some cases, we're all family." She replied. She didn't open her eyes once, but that's just how she sees..

"I'll—"

"You don't have to pay me back, otherwise people will have other useless debts to pay." She turned around and vanished. Not to be seen in or within the wind.

"I just.." All of the 8 years of working and working up and up to only end in this rank feels terrible.

Am I really that useless?

"Y/n." A quiet but loud voice came behind them.

You jumped a little from the sudden small shout, but you looked behind you to see a mysterious figure with a big hat.

"Ah, um. Scaramouche." You quietly said.

"Is my name really that hard to forget?" Scaramouche clicked his tongue then approached you. His figure slightly got taller as he approached.

"I'm sorry."

"Anyway, what're you doing? Shouldn't a mortal like you be in the dormitories?" Scaramouche looked down at you if you were a bug. Even though you were only one rank behind him..

"Oh, I forgot." You mutter. He sighed and gave a small flick to your forehead. You wouldn't really count as him as your friend, but he talks to you more than the other harbingers.

"Humans are so forgetful.." He mumbled.

"Sorry.." You blandly said.

"Stop saying sorry over everything."

"Huh?"

"When was the last time you said sorry?"

"When I... said your name."

"Is that something to be sorry for?"

"I.. um."

"Just go to your dorm. Captiano has something assigned to you tomorrow. Get rest." Scaramouche brushed past you and hushed along to his own way.

"Im.. sorry." A quiet mutter came out of you.

You walked to your dorm only thinking about that moment and past times. You remembered Tartaglia and Scaramouche came to save you in battle against a few hillichurls after you were injured. You couldn't help but cry after that night because you weren't even powerful enough, even though being the 7th fatui harbinger.

Why do I say sorry all the time? Why am I so useless? I'm just only here like a doll for showcase. Why is everything the same? Why am I so weak? Why can I even defend myself? Why...

As soon as you opened the door, you threw off your jacket and didn't even bother to switch out of your clothes. Just flopped in bed and huddled in a ball. Silent and quiet tears fell.

You've never told anyone your problems. No one.

My problems are useless. So what's the point of telling someone them?

You're now standing at a cliff no where near Zapolyarny Palace.

The cold air just felt bitter against your skin.

The pretty lights of the northern lights and stats glimmered. They lit up the whole place..

If only the last time you'll see them is today,

That's okay.

The lights are so pretty.

If only when I was a child, I would be able to jump in joy.

8 years of suffering and loss will be over soon.

I promise you,

It will end today.

I wish my tears would've been spent on something else,

But these lights are so pretty.

I wish..

That maybe someone...

Will love me just as much...

The height of the cliff wasn't scary. But it was a long way down to the cold sea.

The sea reflected the pretty skies.

"So cold.."

To only feel the pressure of wind dropping down.

Im falling.

You're falling.

"Ah!—"

a cold but sudden embrace was there.

A tight grip around your waist was found.

"You're an idiot!"

You looked behind you to see a dark indigo haired figure holding you tightly.

"Do you go so far out by killing yourself because you didn't want things to go out like this!?" He shouted at you.

"Your idiotic mind is killing me!" Scaramouche plunged back before setting himself in front of you. He drapped his jacket over your shoulders.

"Do you plan on being so stupid and killing yourself!? Do you even know how long it took me to find you only to come to you almost dying? Is death your only wish!?" Scaramouche scolded you and shouted at you. His raised voice people could possibly hear from a 5 mile radius. The rest of his shouting blurred in your ears.

But he suddenly paused in his words.

"Why are you crying?"

"Huh?"

"Stop crying." Scaramouche said. Although his voice sounded harsh, his tone was soft.

Soft little streams of rivers were coming out of your eyes, and you didn't even notice.

"I said stop crying."

"I don't..." He paused.

"Wanna see you cry."

"Again."

You just sat in the snow, buried in his large jacket staring at him.

"Wha—"

"You're coming with me." Scaramouche gripped onto your arm and pulled you up without an effort.

"Scara—"

"I said you're coming with me."

Next morning was all a blur.

You were in your bed, how?

You remembered you were outside.

You could've swore you...

Whatever,

Today, the sun was out. The sun isn't usually out during winters like these.

You went to the small kitchen in the dormitory to cook something.

You opened the knife cabinet... only to find no knifves. So you decided to skip breakfast, not that you really had breakfast anyway.

During that whole day, Scaramouche sat next to you without a word. He's usually never at meetings. And today he's always somehow near you...

Talking to Columbina? He's right behind you.

Finishing a task Tartaglia gave you? He's right there.

Hes like a stalker..

It was until a few hours later, you went to do something.. a little dangerous.

You picked up a sharp object until it was immediately grabbed away. You looked to your side to see Scaramouche standing there with the sharp object.

"You've been following me all day. What's wrong?" You immediately said.

"You're stupid."

"What?"

"You already know the answer."

"Huh?.."

"Shoo. I'm taking this away."

"But I need it to give it to captiano—"

"I'll do it." He then walked away.

For some reason,

Your mind told you that...

Maybe he didn't want you to get hurt.

You then turned around to go back,

To only see a shining cryo vision on the table from where you picked up the sharp object.

"Visions are granted by powerful wishes." You once heard someone say long long before.

I wish that someone will love me as much as someone used to in the past.

@xyouami 12/21/23 8:32 pm.

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serenityinstone · 1 month

Text

Feline Fiasco

Hetalia x Reader

This is written for a female reader but there isn't really anything specific that would suggest that besides a few references. If you want to read, I'm not going to stop you.

Also (Y/n) is completely uninterested in the countries for the majority of this, all she's interested in is the cats. This is way fluffier than anything else I've posted, which is two things, and this part is relatively America-centric because (Y/n) works for him. This is also way less quality work than those two posts but idk deal with it?

There is more to this but it's unfinished and I'll probably never post it. My friend also helped with the cat names so if you don't like them... uh assume that they chose them. One last note, I thought it would be funny to write the accents so you also have to deal with that.

As one of the many secretaries working in the White House, it was actually quite a surprise to you that you ended up as the main secretary to the human personification of the U.S.A.

Because of this, you had become quite close to Mr. F. Jones and more importantly: his cat.

You couldn't help but coo at the adorable and floofy feline. Sure, you should probably finish filing those papers, but national security can wait a few more minutes. Besides you couldn't resist the allure of the purr. It would be an understatement to say, when you learned that the other personifications also had furry friends of their own, you were excited.

America didn't want you interacting with the other countries, especially not Russia. But you honestly didn't care and you weren't the recording secretary for those meetings, so it's not like you were in attendance anyways. That somehow didn't stop you from having to tag along and meeting more nation cats; of which you weren't sure why they had brought them along in the first place. It's not like you were complaining.

Ball of fur after ball of fur. No cat went un-petted. Except for Germany's cat; he had evaded you time and time again. But no longer! For today was the last day and you were going to pet that cat if it was the last thing you did.

There it was. It's sleek black fur, the ribbon in Germany's signature colors around its neck, and that always alert look on its face. He would evade you no more. You crouched down in your very inflexible pencil skirt and prepared to pounce.

"Vhat are jou doing?" A voice thick with a German accent called out, startling you and the cat who decided to bound back towards him and into his arms.

"Uhhhh." You blanked.

"You're America's secretary right? Vat vere jou trying to do to my cat?" He questioned, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

You gulped and tried to explain your actions in a way that didn't sound absolutely ridiculous.

"I-uh. I wanted to pet your cat and… he kept evading me and I thought if I snuck up on him that I could pet him." You looked away and pitifully whispered, "Sorry."

"If jou vanted to pet him, all you had to do was ask."

"Really!?" Your eyes lit up and you looked up at the German with pure and unbridled excitement. He coughed and looked away with a slight blush resting on his cheeks.

"Of course." He held the cat out. You, with no hesitation whatsoever, immediately started to adore and love the cat, even shifting it from Germany's arms to your own.

As you continued to pet the cat, who despite his earlier refusal, seemed quite happy, you asked Germany a question. "My name's (Y/n). What's yours if you're willing to share? No pressure though."

His eyes widened a bit before he shook it off and gave you an answer. "Ludwig Beilschmidt." He responded, studying his cat. "Germouser seems to like jou."

You could barely stifle a laugh at the name he had given to the black cat. He sensed your amusement and gave an explanation.

"Feli- Italy named him. I vas going to name him Johann or something similar. Italy was zoroughly horrified by my suggestions and vould not rest until I vent vith his."

You smiled at the Italian's antics and shook your head with amusement. "Germouser is a fine name for an absolutely wonderful cat."

Germany seemed to get flustered again as he watched you coo at his cat, completely ignoring his presence. He would have just left him with you, but the meeting was starting soon and he didn't want to be late. Luckily for him, America decided to pop around the corner, demanding your attention. So you were forced to give up the precious kitty cat and return with Mr. Jones.

Alfred was annoyed. Not at you but at everyone else. Why did they have any right to be around you? You were an American citizen. His citizen. Sure, all you were really interested in was their cats. But what if you thought that they and their cats were so cool that you left him and went to live in a different country instead? He couldn't let that happen.

"So, (Y/n), dude, broette." He said on the way to the meeting room. "Here's the deal."

You gave him a look and raised an eyebrow.

"I need someone to watch Hero for me and my sitter flaked so you're gonna be watching him." He fingered-gunned at you and stars seemed to shine in the air around him. This, of course, was nothing new to you. It wasn’t like you would have rather been attending the meeting anyways.

So you stayed in a different unoccupied meeting room with a lovely, furry friend. It wasn't until he started hissing at a corner that you were in trouble.

"Hero, what's wrong?" You asked, concerned at the agitated cat. His tail bristled up and his ears flattened down as he took a defensive position. Out of nowhere another fluffy cat waltzed in from the very corner that Hero had been hissing at. It was Boris, a cat that belonged to Russia.

You hadn't actually gotten to pet him yet because to be honest, you were also scared of Russia. But… He wasn't around… and his cat was. And his cat was purring.

That was about all the reasoning that you needed to brush past Hero and scoop Boris up into your arms. The former started yowling for your attention and followed you as you went to sit down with the Russian cat.

You laid down on the plush carpeted floor and lifted the cat that you were holding up above you. Boris’ fluffy body was placed onto your chest and he immediately started purring louder once he got comfortable. He nuzzled his face into your neck, much to the annoyance of the American cat. Hero yowled at you and pawed at Boris, desperately trying to get him off.

Boris only gave him a smug look in return and kneaded into you, further solidifying his spot. Hero decided that it wasn’t worth the fight and that he was going to get his owner to remove the Russian cat and put him back into his mother’s lap: aka you.

The surprisingly smart and agile cat leapt around the room and pushed down the door handle, slipping out through the crack. You didn’t notice this as you were currently immersed in the bliss of a cat sitting on you and letting you pet it.

Eventually the purring lulled you into a peaceful and warm slumber, the two of you deciding to take a cat nap.

It would be Russia who found you first. Ivan realized that his cat had gone missing and he honestly didn’t care enough about the meeting to stay. It's not like anyone would try to stop him.

So as Hero bounded down the halls towards the meeting room, Mr. Ivan Braginsky came from the other direction; his sense of where his cat was at any one moment was completely uncanny.

The Russian gradually opened the wooden door and it quietly opened without any resistance. He turned his head towards where he heard purring and was met with a surprising sight. It was America’s secretary, with his cat, lying, with his cat.

You were breathing softly and the movements of your chest moving up and down also moved Boris. Ivan couldn’t help but faintly smile at the sight. Said cat opened a singular eye to acknowledge the new presence in the room. He flicked his tail and settled back into his spot. Not wanting to bother you or the cat, Ivan pulled out a chair and sat down.

He pulled out some paperwork, seemingly from nowhere, and began to work on it. The sounds of your quiet breathing, combined with the light purr from Boris, made for a calming work environment.

As the three of you remained in peaceful bliss, another kitty cat was running around the corner on the never ending search for food. Itabby trotted up and down the corridors looking for an open door that might lead to some food that didn’t come from England. Her golden fur glimmered as the sun shined through the many windows in the building. She looked over at a door that had opened slightly and was too blinded by the thought of food to notice the scarily familiar scent coming from the room.

Itabby scampered over to the door but screeched and meowed as she was sent flying by an American blonde and his equally irritated cat. She tentatively peered around the door at the scene forming.

“HEY!” Alfred yelled, startling both you and the cat. You shot up straight, Boris falling into your lap. “What are you doing with her?!” He yelled again, getting his face up into Ivan’s. The other man gave him an unamused look and stood up, towering over him. Alfred, despite this, did not back down and continued to stare angrily at him.

“Go away.” The white-haired male said, his accent heavy as he crossed his arms. “You have startled them with your unnecessary noise. You are just like the rest of your country.”

The air tensed and became heavier as the seconds went on. They began to size each other up as Hero, ironically, “heroically” walked proudly over to you and with his front paws, pushed Boris off of your lap. He quickly took his place and started purring. Boris’ fur began to puff up as he hunched down and prepared to pounce. His back legs flexed and he made the jump, sending both him and Hero flying towards their fighting owners, who were remarkably somehow not in a physical fight. Yet.

You very quickly realized that you did not want to be in the middle of two superpowers fighting and quietly took your leave. (E/c) eyes met feline amber ones and you swept up the cat and made your escape, leaving behind the feuding men and cats.

Itabby snuggled into your arms as you finally slowed down to catch your breath. Her round tail whooshed back and forth as you tiredly walked through the long hallway. The two of you eventually ended up in the rose gardens of the meeting building. The area was well taken care of and beautiful if you did say so yourself. The meeting was taking place in England and Mr. Jones had told you about how the Brit enjoyed gardening, so it made sense as to why it was here.

Speaking of the British, you spotted a fluffy feline shape from the corner of your eye. It was deeper into the gardens and among the trees. Itabby finally decided that it was time to go and return to her owner. She gracefully leaped out of your arms and landed on all fours and trotted off to beg Italy for some pasta. You instead continued your approach to the cat, which at this point, you could tell was a Scottish Fold.

The left side of his face was brown and so was his tail. Alike to his owner, he seemed to have what you assumed were some kind of eyebrows and when he opened his eyes to look at you, his olive eyes stared into yours. He flicked his tail and layed back down onto the wall that he was laying on. His collar jingled as he moved and you quietly moved up to him. On the gold circle attached to the same olive color collar, was a name.

‘Scone’ You thought. ‘Oh my god. This is the most English cat name I have ever seen.’

You almost started laughing but the smoldering glare the cat gave you made you think otherwise. The stone wall was surprisingly cold for the summer sun and as you sat down, you took a look at Scone. He seemed to still be quite grumpy, but he knew you from earlier in the week, so he was not alarmed. You lifted up and moved your left arm forward to start petting him.

Scone was soft and clearly well-taken care of. His fur was clean and had no knots or dirt insight, despite laying around a garden for half a day. You continued your actions and the both of you started to fall back into slumber. Your hand hovered on the back of the feline and your head slumped alongside your body.

It was peaceful. With birds chirping and the wind lightly blowing. There was a river babbling somewhere in the background and it made for a serene scene. The only reason he had let you pet him was because you had fed him earlier in the week. He didn’t have his collar at that point so this was the first time you had gotten his name. Your eyes closed as you recalled the event from a couple of days prior.

The day after the plane landed you were on the hunt for felines. Armed with some cat food, a retractable mouse-on-a-stick and hope, you made your way around the building England had set aside for housing the rampant countries, and byproduct, their cats. France’s cat, Monsieur, was an absolute attention wh-. He really liked attention, and would rub himself against your leg anytime the two of you crossed paths. It’s not like France, or Francis, was much better.

It’s not like you minded petting him. He was adorable after all. The cat, not Francis. But you had wanted to meet as many other cats as you could and so you had to stop by Francis’ room multiple times to drop off Monsieur.

“Je suis désolé.” He said, taking Monsieur out of your arms. “He keeps getting out. But I guess he knows when there’s a lovely lady around.”

You ignored his attempts at flirting and instead scratched Monsieur’s chin one last time before leaving. He purred at you and while you felt bad about leaving him, you were on a mission! Besides, you had a certain Japanese cat to track down. Monsieur meowed at you as you walked down the hallway and if you didn’t know better you’d say so did Francis.

Either way, nothing was going to stop you from petting Tama, Japan’s cat. He was an adorable little black and white feline with the cutest little bob for a tail. You had actually spotted him earlier and was about to go up to him before Monsieur literally jumped into your arms, demanding attention. Of course you weren’t going to say no so Tama quickly left your sight as you went to return Monsieur.

Wait, isn't Monsieur just sir in French? Oh well there was no time to think about questionable cat names, this building was full of them.

Monsieur wasn’t the only attention whore of a cat. Prussia’s cat, Purrussia, wasn’t much better. He would follow you down hallways and meow with his scratchy meow at you while Austria’s cat, Allegro, whined behind him. He literally tried to jump up at you a few times.

Of course both of them were interrupted when Hero ran straight at you and tackled you like a professional linebacker. You had thought that it was mostly fluff, but no, apparently Hero could pack a punch. He knocked the wind out of you as you fell backwards onto the tiled floor. The cat sat proudly on you and looked around like he was waiting for something or someone. Whoever he was waiting for, however, wouldn’t show up fast enough to see Purrussia return the favor and tackle Hero off of you, much to Allegro’s horror.

The white cat had a German ribbon as well but it looked like it was fraying at the edges. The reason you were bringing this up was because Hero was currently using one of the edges to try to choke Purrussia and Allegro was using the other to try to pull Purrussia away from Hero. Neither was really working and all it was really doing was making Purrussia more and more agitated.

“PURRUSSIA!!!” A shrill voice yelled out from down the hallway.

The cats stopped their roughhousing to see two of the countries barrelling down towards them. Well Prussia was. Austria was slowly walking over, looking more inconvenienced than anything else.

“Purrussia! Purrussia!” Prussia reiterated, pulling his cat up by its arms. “Did jou vin?!”

Everyone but the two Prussians stared in disbelief at his statement. The albino feline furiously nodded his head and if he could have talked you would have imagined that he would have been saying, ‘I’m awesome!’

Hero angrily meowed down below, as if to oppose Purrussia’s non-verbal statement. Allegro just haughtily licked his paw and stuck his nose up as if to pretend that he was disgusted with their fighting as if he hadn’t just been a part of it. Austria picked up his in-denial cat and you picked up Hero who calmed down as soon as you did.

“Sorry about him.” You said, brushing his unruly fur down with your hand. “He gets a little competitive.”

“Ja. It’s fine.” Austria said, petting his own cat. “Purrussia is not much better.”

“HEY!” Prussia yelled. “My awesome Purrussia is doing his best! And besides, at least he actually does something!”

“Jour cat picked a fight vith a vall (wall) Gilbert.” Austria sassed.

“Vell jour cat’s piano playing is trash!”

Austria gave a gasp of horror before inching closer to the Prussian.

“Jou take zat back, RIGHT NOW!”

Prussia just laughed, still letting Purrussia’s back paws dangle as he held him like one would a toddler. He got in close to the Austrian’s face, smiling deviously at him.

“Nein.”

He suddenly, while still holding Purrussia, took off, running away from Austria. He wasn’t far behind though and you could hear the man yelling in German all the way down the far corridor.

“Well Hero.” You said, looking down at the cat who had made himself very comfortable. “That was weird.”

He just snuggled closer to you and you sighed. You scratched him once more before heading down the opposite hallway. The destination was clear, before you could continue your cat quest, you’d have to get this one safely back to its owner.

You suddenly snapped back to reality, still sitting on the wall. The sun was now high in the sky and the spot underneath you was no longer cold. You were especially warm as you now had a Scottish Fold sitting comfortably upon your lap. Quietly cooing at the cat, you looked to see if there was any way to escape your furry prison. The most important rule of cats: once a cat sits on you, you’re not moving until they do.

You sighed, legs uncomfortably stiff. Scone was far more content and his bushy tail occasionally brushed against your leg. It was incredibly cute but it didn’t make your back stop hurting from being hunched over for the last half hour.

Voices came from farther within the garden. There were two people currently engaged in a soft conversation. You caught bits and pieces of it; there was a man with a British accent and a man with what you thought was American until you heard him say ‘aboot.’ You couldn’t help but snicker at your own observation, disturbing Scone in the process.

He scornfully meowed at you and you offered pets in an apology. Around the corner turned Scone’s owner and a man who looked incredibly similar to America. They both turned to look at you when the Scottish Fold you were fondling stretched out to impossible lengths and complained like a cat while he did it. England looked down at your lap to see his cat very happily cushioned on your thighs. The man next to him was also holding a cat who again looked very similar to America’s.

They were clearly different though. This man’s hair was more auburn and his eyes were a shade of impossible purple. There was also more of a wave to it whereas America’s hair was as straight as hair comes. Familiarity lit up in your eyes, not for the man however.

“Maple!” You exclaimed, wanting to go to the cat but also not willing to disturb the one on you. “How have you been?”

The men stared at you, wondering if you were talking to them or the cat. Of course Maple himself answered this as he jumped out of his owner’s arms and darted over to you. He gracefully climbed up the small wall and placed himself down by you. Scone was on your lap and he was nicer than Hero so as to not push him off. You moved one of your arms to pet Maple and kept the other on Scone. They were so cute you felt like you were going to explode.

“Oh.” A quiet voice spoke out. It came from the man behind England. “You’re Alfred’s secretary right?”

You smiled and nodded at the man. “And I assume that means you’re Canada, right?”

He looked a tad taken aback before nodding himself. “Yeah…” He trailed off and England instead picked up the conversation.

“I thought you were supposed to be watching his furrball cat, Hero.” He walked over and leaned against the wall.

“I was. But then he and Boris got into a catfight… and then America and Russia got into a catfight.”

Canada laughed in the background but quickly covered it up. England stared at Scone, looking to see if there was anyway to get him off of you without being scratched himself. He had enough injuries, that should have scarred had he not been a country, from the cat. He shivered a bit, though also began to pet the feline, scratching his under the chin.

“That sounds like those two.”

You hummed in agreement, continuing your affections. Canada also came over to pet his own cat who ironically did smell like maple syrup.

“Can I make you the villain of this story?” You asked England, gesturing to Scone. “I do actually have somewhere I need to be.”

“Oh I suppose I can assume that role.” He mused, carefully picking up his cat. He was not happy to be moved but England just shushed him.

Canada also picked up his cat who was slightly nicer about the whole thing. He fidgeted with Maple’s ear as he held him.

“I’m Matthew.” He said, carefully shifting Maple so he could put one arm out to shake your hand.

You finished the formal greeting. “I’m (Y/n).”

The other blonde butted in from the background. “I’m Arthur, love.”

“It’s very nice to formally meet both of you. Seeing you from across a meeting room doesn’t really count.” You smiled and gave a small pat to each of the feline’s heads. “Well I wasn’t kidding about needing to get somewhere. I really didn’t mean to get stopped as long as I did.”

You playfully glared at the Scottish Fold sitting comfortably in his owner's arms. He promptly ignored you, instead turning around cutely. England apologized but you told him it was fine. You were at least 50% sure that Mr. Jones was probably still fighting with Russia. Those two really were like angry cats. You waved the two men off and went on your way to find out the answer to that question.

Instead of coming across two feuding superpowers, you came across two of the Asian nations’ cats. You had already met them both but this was the first time you were seeing them together. Tama was sitting up high on a shelf while China’s cat, Meowzedong, was angrily meowing at him from down below. Everytime he tried to climb up, Tama would use a paw and swipe a book or other object down at him.

You flinched as a very breakable, very expensive-looking, vase crashed down. It was this movement that alerted the two cats to your presence and Meowzedong wasted no time at all to come over to you and complain. Now you couldn’t exactly speak cat but you got the jist.

Bending down, you carefully picked up the cat. Meowzedong always had a weird clump of fur that looked almost like a ponytail that, no matter how much China cut it, always grew back. He yowled at you and pointed a furry paw in Tama’s direction. The other cat had already loafed on top of the high shelf and you looked at him, back at Meowzedong, back at Tama, and then back at Meowzedong again.

“I don’t know how tall you think I am but I’m not that tall.”

Meowzedong just narrowed his eyes and meowed at you again. You sighed, looking back at Tama. If he had a long enough tail to flick it at you he would’ve. Sensing the futility of his quest, Meowzedong instead spread himself out in your arms and if you didn’t know better you would have said that he was mocking Tama. And if you really didn’t know better you’d say that it was working and that the bobtail was getting more irritated by the second. The personifications might have had to act cordial but their cats had no such qualms.

Finally, Tama de-loafed himself and gracefully hopped down a few other layers before reaching the bottom. He gracefully walked over to you and sat on your foot… Well shoot. What were you supposed to do now?

So here you were, from one cat prison to the next. Standing in the middle of some random, out-of-the-way hallway because the nations’ cats were all attention-hogging, though very adorable, brats.

You didn’t know how much time had actually passed. There was no clock in the hallway, you didn’t wear a watch, and both of your hands were occupied so you couldn’t check your phone. As cute as they were, your legs felt like they were about to collapse in on themselves. You couldn’t even shift how you were standing because Tama had taken it upon himself to lay across both of your shoes. Your arms also felt like they were going to fall off at any second. Meowzedong wasn’t a particularly heavy cat but try holding anything over five pounds for longer than five minutes.

You were desperately hoping that either they would finally get bored and leave or someone would come to save you. Wow you guessed you really did need a “Hero” right about now… Dammit you thought that referencing needing a hero in your head would magically summon America or his equally hotheaded cat.

“Tama. Meowzedong.” You murmured. “Can you please get off?” You hoped to whatever god or gods were out there that they didn’t hear the desperation in your voice. Never show weakness to a cat.

The two cats made eye contact with each other for a moment and seemed to come to an agreement. Meowzedong stretched his body out before jumping onto the ground. Tama did the same but instead greeted Meowzedong when he landed.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration if you said that you collapsed onto the wooden floor below. You quickly got up however as you didn’t want them to see it as another chance to sit on you. At least not right now. You pulled out your phone to see all of the messages and calls you missed. You had put it on silent while watching Hero and forgot to turn it back to vibrate.

‘Oh my god Mr. Jones called me twenty-three times.’ You thought, frantic. ‘I’m gonna be in so much trouble!’

You raced down the hallway, startling a group of micronations as you went. There was no time to apologize! You had to keep your job! If not for you then for the cats!

Not even thinking to knock you burst open the door where America was staying, side note why wasn’t it locked? And were greeted with the sight of!... Mr. Jones… crying? His cat looked pretty dejected too and was currently hanging himself off the side of the bed like a rug.

“Sir?” His head shot up to look at you.

He quickly snapped his head back away, mushing at his face in an attempt to try to make it seem like he wasn’t crying.

“(Y-Y/n)” He stuttered for a second, before immediately going back to the hero persona. “Where’ve you been!?”

“Are you okay?” You ignore him, instead asking your own question.

You titiled your body to look at what he was looking at… Was that a framed picture of you?!

It didn’t matter because he was very quickly all in your face again. You could see what seemed to be a rapidly healing black eye and a tooth that hadn’t fully regrown in yet as he smiled at you. Just how long was he fighting with Russia for?

You sat him down on his bed, considering if you should even bother getting a medkit for him. Either way you ended up spending the rest of the day with him, watching movies and sitting what you considered a good ways away from each other on the plush couch. He apparently had a nicer room in all of England’s properties from when he used to live there during parts of the year.

Hero filled the gap in-between you of which America was mildly annoyed about. He kept trying to get you to use ‘Alfred’ but you insisted that it was unprofessional. He’d close the gap one day.

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zynxwrite · 9 months

Text

pairings ❰ rotxo x f!reader

roxto crushing on a dance performer, he tries to confess his feelings with a cute gift. fluff fluff fluff filled with fluff.

"Come on, Rotxo! I'm sure she'll love the gift you're making, I mean you hand picked those shells until sunset!"

Tsireya made an effort to brighten Rotxo up by speaking positive statements that was empty of lies. He had just recently confessed to her his long-standing crush for you. Who would not? the way you move was majestic, the way your body swayed and danced with the wind, as for your mane glittered with the stars, while the music sang to your movements.

Rotxo spent the entire day collecting seashells of various shapes and sizes along the shoreline. Each shell held a meaning, representing a moment or memory he had shared with you. He arranged them carefully in a small, intricately designed small woven basket that he had crafted himself, pouring his heart and soul into every detail.

He was not positive of his plan, there are other males, that some are attractive and adored your dancing as he loved you. There's no way that you would see sight of him!

“But what if she doesn’t like it?! And what-what if she thinks it’s trash?” Roxto looked down at his unfinished work, the seashells reminded him of you. It was beautiful and ethereal. His fear of rejection poured into his feelings, he wasn't sure if he would continue this.

‘oh boy..he sure is nervous.’

Tsireya eyed her brother so that he might give Rotxo some confidence as he continued to give off an anxious vibe. Simply rolling his eyes, he stepped forward his friend.

"Trust me, girls like her like these kind of gifts. Jus' go with the flow..?" Ao'nung tried to sound normal as he didn't care, but he does know surely that the seashell gift would fascinate you. Eh, what can he say, Rotxo had a good taste when it comes to designs.

“I’m really not sure of this. What if I just admire her from afar and-”

“Rotxo. Calm down.” Tsireya made sure that he looked at her. “Take a deep breathe. She will like it. I promise.”

"Look," Tsireya said, trying to emphasize her point, "You've known each other for so long. She values your friendship, and that's a strong foundation. The gift you're making is not just any gift; it's a reflection of your memories together, and that's something special. Don't underestimate the power of genuine sentiment."

While Rotxo tried to calm down. Tsireya talked to Aonung with just her eyes. They communicated by expressions. ‘Try to be more supportive, brother. He’s your bestfriend.’ She eyed Aonung. ‘I literally don’t know how.’ All Tsireya can do to react is simply sigh. Her brother has seaweed for brain.

"You're right," Rotxo finally said, mustering some determination. "I've spent so much time with her, and every moment has been magical. I can't let fear hold me back."

The sound of gentle waves caressed the shore, creating a soothing ambiance, which somehow managed to calm Rotxo's anxious heart. From afar, he saw you with a metkayina male giving you some freshly picked out flowers. He stopped walking and took a look of his own gift for you. A necklace made out of seashell. Seriously? What’s that compared to a whole bouquet?! Oh dear. His anxiety roared more. His ears folded as he saw you smile..Oh. How he wishes you could smile at him like that.

He notices Tsireya and the sully kids’ head above water to watch him confess to you. Neteyam gave him a thumbs up to show support while Tuktirey whisper-shouted a ‘Don’t be scared! You got this!’

Thank Eywa his friends were there to support him. He finally had the courage to finally walk up to you as the na’vi male was finally away from you. Good.

He could feel his body tremble as your eyes met his. he was like a child who’s scared of non-real monsters. But just seeing you look at him made him..calm.

“[Name]! Uh-Hi-wait, no. Uh-...Your dance was beautiful earlier. It made me feel relaxed, truth!” You couldn’t help but giggle at him stammering. He’s so cute. Was he not? You turn eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Oh, Rotxo! What is it?"

Alright...This is the time. Butterflies filled his stomach, but he knew he had to do this. He approached with a warm smile, trying to mask his nerves.

"I know it might sound strange, but, um, I collected this seashell for you," he said, feeling a rush of vulnerability in his voice.

You looked at the seashell with amazement, touched by the gesture. "Wow, Rotxo, this is stunning! You made this for me?" you asked, your eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"I've always admired how you appreciate the beauty of nature and the little things around you, just like this seashell. And, well, I've been wanting to tell you that... I really, really like you."

He waited patiently, but nervously for your respond. You have been silent for almost 30 seconds. Even his friends started to get nervous. Will you reject him? Will you not? WHAT WILL HAPPEN?! They wanted answers as soon as possible.

“Oh.” Oh? OH?! Is that all? Just oh?

Your eyes widened, your heart beating faster as it absorbed Rotxo's heartfelt confession. You were touched by his sincerity and courage in baring his feelings so openly. You were...happy. But couldn’t respond. Why>

If you couldn’t respond. Then he will talk, again. "Each of these shells has a story," he began, his voice steadier now. "They represent moments we've spent together, moments I cherish deeply." He picked up one delicate spiral-shaped shell. "This one is from the day we explored the hidden cave together." And he continued with the others. You were fascinated because they were just like a songcord.

Finally, Rotxo reached the last seashell. It was the most exquisite and rare shell he had found, a shimmering iridescent one. "This shell," he paused, a blush creeping up his cheeks, "this one is for you. Just for you, because you are the most beautiful and extraordinary person I know." He looked directly into the reader's eyes, his heart laid bare. "I-I love you, and I wanted to tell you in a way that showed how much you mean to me."

Finally. Your mouth started to move to say something.

“I-” I what? I love you? I hate you? “I..” Please just answer. “I-I appreciate this.”

“I never knew you had feelings for me, Rotxo..” Oh, he was getting rejected for sure. “I love you too.” Wait-what?

“HELL YEAH! YOU RULE, ROTXO!” Spider yelled out of excitement. Making you startle as he came from nowhere-and there you saw a few you na’vi above the water..Who has been watching you for minutes.

“Wait...You do?-how-”

“How can I not fall in love with the one I first performed to?” You smiled and held his hand with the shell-cord. “Don’t you remember? You were the one who first saw me dance years ago.”

Relief washed over Rotxo, and he felt a sense of peace in knowing that he had expressed his emotions genuinely. Regardless of the outcome, he cherished the connection he had with you and the unwavering support of his friends.

“Of course I do.” He smiled. "I've admired you from afar for a long time. Your kindness, your smile, the way you light up the room whenever you enter. I can't help but feel drawn to you, and I've wanted to tell you how I feel for a while now."

You smiled, placing a hand on Rotxo's shoulder, "Your feelings mean a lot to me, and I appreciate your honesty. Let's see where this journey takes us, together."

This night is truly beautiful.

“And that’s how Rotxo and [Name] became official~” Lo’ak Teased. “And you and Tsireya are next.” Neteyam whispered with tease which Aonung overheard and his eyes was ready to strangle someone. “Oh, great mother. Here we go.” Kiri sighed.

As the night continued, the group celebrated under the starlit sky, sharing stories, laughter, and dreams of the future. Rotxo and you held hands, walking along the shore, their hearts now connected in a way that felt like destiny.

"I can't believe I finally told you how I feel," Rotxo admitted, his voice a mix of vulnerability and relief.

"I'm glad you did," you replied, their heart filled with happiness. "You've always been there for me, and I cherish our friendship too. I never imagined that it would lead to this, but I'm so glad it did."

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stinkypeanutbutter · 2 months

Text

img silly sbg art class headcanons for the folks !!!

Guess who’s first .

Ben , obvi . Who did you think ??? Aiden ?? Loser / j

BENNY BOY :

Actually enjoys art class the most out of his other classes

Usually turns things in on time , but forgets the little things though like those stupid papers that tell you to copy and draw a nose 3 times

likes using charcoal pencils !! It’s his favorite out of everything , but he dislikes how messy it gets because the charcoal always covers his hands and arms .

not the best at painting , but he’s well known of his complimentary colors and what looks good with what .

Usually listens to music while he’s drawing if Taylor is busy or gone from class . He likes taking instrumental recommendations from Ashlyn .

Takes a drawing class , obvi , along with Taylor because he didn’t really want to be alone . Plus , She’s a nice buddy to have !!

TAYLOR !! :

Takes a drawing class with Ben as said before !! Whenever they have to pick partners , they go for each other the most .

she’s not the BEST at drawing honestly , but she takes it so she can study in machinery , like drawing and mapping out designs .

She likes using those kids markers , whatever their called . She prefers using the marker FIRST then going over it with pencil to really pop out the design . Digital art also works out for her , it’s one of her favorites because there’s so many options ( sometimes )

uses google for inspo or to copy certain parts down cause Pinterest is blocked on the computers and drawing gears is hard to do ( real 😿 )

Draws little cats on her work when she’s bored or smiley faces on Bens work just cause she’s silly ( trademarked smiley — Aiden / j )

Doesn’t have photography , but she does join Logan after school to help out with certain camera functions or just take photos of eachother for her memory book ( she has one , cannot tell me otherwise )

Also uses highlighters just cause . I mean they’re fun so why not . Her and Aiden share a bunch of random stickers that he got on like eBay for customization 😼

A ;) DEN !!! :

I swear I won’t repeat the same “ Aiden is totally good at art “ headcanon but …….. 😅😅

Went into painting just so he can have fun with the colors and , sigh … he’s good at mixing them . ( he’s not allowed too , but he makes it work out . Sometimes )

RARELY gets things done in time , like he’ll be doing anything other then drawing in class , yet somehow turn it in . Well , after a few weeks past the due date .

becahse of that , no one really knows what he draws but the teacher is impressed so 🤷

I like to imagine he has one other hidden room in his house , filled with unfinished paintings , sketches , projects , puzzles , yadda . He hasn’t really shown anyone where it is , or let’s anyone inside but has let Ben check it out a few times cause he’s special 🫶

Always does his projects in his room . Why ? Cause it’s bigger , more room to work , duh . Also , so he can BLAST music because music just gives him ideas of what he can work on ( projection go hard 🤟🤟🤟 )

he doesn’t really care what he uses , but he hates charcoal , opposed to Ben . It gets everywhere ( in a bad way ) , it’s dull , he hates having to blend it with those stupid paper things because they sound and feel gross , yadda yadda yadda . Butttt he LOVES markers and crayons . Colored pencils work if he’s feeling slightly unmotivated .

uses giant AF canvas’s cause more room to work plus more detail . He loves detailing the most random stuff because it all had to blend correctly , right ? 😼☝️

likes pottery , but he doesn’t like the feeling of it drying on his hands . It’s gross and crusty . Plus he got in trouble once for throwing some of it around the class lol

Totally draws on his arms with sharpie ( ashlyn tells him no cause poisoning or something but pshhhh what does she know ? He’ll still doodle on his pants ) .

Probably does Rubix cube art when he’s feeling extra silly . Also glues and sticks whatever he can find onto what he’s working on for pizazz . But he doesn’t really like anything he’s made so 😿

also the reason why he has so many unfinished projects is because woopsy doo ADHD . It’s always “ oh I should work on this one “ but then there’s “ but this once looks funner to do “ but oh then there’s a “ which one would take me less time to do ? “ and “ if I do this first will I have time to do the other one ? “ and either ends up doing nothing or multitasking .

ASH TRAY !!! :

Takes painting with Aiden because she really didn’t want to go alone .

thought about pottery once , tried it , hated the feeling of it getting under her nails and it kept drying up and she had to wash her hands constantly and it kept getting in her hair and it was a bad experience . ( more projection )

painting really isn’t her favorite , but she likes the look of the colors mixing and it’s kinda like dancing to her , with the long , sometimes constant movements and new variations . Look it just puts her in a slight trance .

doesn’t do well with creativity coming into play , but she managed to find a way with turning art into dance , like referencing other dancers online and copying their moments onto a canvas to make it dramatic or something .

Prefers prismacolor pencils over most things , sometimes joins Taylor and Logan after school to try out photography .

Sometimes she and Aiden would share headphones and put on a shared playlist or a podcast on spotify . They always bicker about it though because ashlyn skips through songs often and Aiden can’t sit on a podcast unless it’s playing somewhere background ( still working on this one cause would that work ? Sharing headphones and listening to stuff or would that be too loud cause I’m not sure )

for once please can she see what Aiden has done like he’s always on his phone or playing with another puzzle from his backpack how do they fit in there anyway just Plsplslpsopls he has a good grade in this class how he’s so confusing sometimes double U - tea - eph

TIE - LER !! :

Joined because he already does baseball why not choose something to maybe help him relax

Bad choice , does not relax him ( most of the time ) , can’t understand color theory ( same ) , ended up getting put into the same class with Aiden ( remember when Aiden threw pottery ? Yeah . . Also ashlyn is there that’s cool but still )

He still likes hanging with Aiden , he just won’t admit it and it gets harder and harder too when he keeps writing and drawing on his work ( and him too 😡😡 )

Pretty fond of water coloring , it’s one of the few things that he enjoys doing in his pass time . . . But he’s not that good at keeping the water to a minimum so it ends up dripping everywhere .

He’s not that good at art either , but he’s pretty good at poses , specifically ones he can remember like the “ batter up ! “ stance in baseball or his signature “ crosses my arms and stares at you begrudgingly “ . He’s REALLY good at that one .

He teaches Ben Guitar , Ben teaches him easier ways to draw . Not a babyish style , but just a simplified way to do something without putting too much thought into it .

he and Taylor team up in art projects , but not in class , at home . Ash and Aiden usually partner up in class , and since he and Taylor have seperate classes there , who’s to say they can’t help eachother else where ? Twin telepathy ! ( I think , idk )

Just finishes quick and turns it in . He gave effort , and that’s good enough . If he really wants to try and ‘ finish ‘ finish it , he will . Trust .

DIALOG(an)UE !! :

Literally the only one in the group who really takes pottery ( he’s lonely someone help him )

dw Barron isnt there . He got kicked out for throwing clay at people ( mostly Logan )

Actually really likes taking pottery , it’s fun !!

He makes pots for the plants back home 💪😋

pretty good at using the utensils , one of the only people the teacher can trust to use them correctly

the pottery wheel isn’t his favorite favorite because sometimes it spins to fast and clay gets splattered everywhere , but it’s better then starting from scratch , and turns out really nice when he gets into the zone or something

made mugs for his grandparents !! ( and the gang , which they all used theirs for many different things . They love it )

not that good at coming up with particular designs , so he usually asks for help . Doesn’t matter who , he’s open to everyone’s ideas 😋☝️☝️

takes a littttllleee while to turn things in on time but he’s a good student so the teacher doesn’t mind

IM DONE !!! I DID IT !!! Praise me .

WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT ?? HIT THAT LIKE AND SURBSCRIBE BUTTON

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ronwestbreeze · 1 year

Text

TO YOU , WORLDS AWAY : PART ONE : CHAPTER SEVEN

pairing: jake sully x human!fem!reader

summary: in which project pandora is revealed

warnings: none! word count: 3.6k

author’s note: it all goes downhill from here…prepare yourselves

AO3 | prev | next

You didn’t mean to become distant. You didn’t mean to pull away. But when you got really focused on something, it was hard to really pay attention to anything else.

And right now, you were focused on planning out Project Pandora. The last few days you had been locked up in your lab sorting through plans and past designs and trying to figure out the best way to do this without Quaritch knowing or suspecting anything. If anything, he probably did suspect something considering how loudly you voiced your disapproval for the RDA. Just didn’t know what extent you were willing to go. Honestly, you didn’t know either.

Grace was starting to notice your withdrawal, the way you didn’t eat or barely interacted with her and Jake, hell you even ignored Norm’s side comments. You knew that the more she worried the more likely she would start to figure out what you were doing. And you’ve been able to hide this project from her for half a year, you weren’t about to let that change now.

Which was why you were sitting with Norm and Grace, eating with them while Jake was still asleep that morning.

“They must’ve worn him out the other day.” Norm muttered, glancing toward the back where the sleeping chambers were.

“There preparing him it seems.” Grace sipped at her tea. “His ceremony’s today. He’ll be officially one of the Omatikaya by the end of tonight.” She glanced toward you knowingly, “Pretty big deal.”

You nodded quietly, poking at your breakfast. “What do we do after?”

Grace didn’t respond. Even Norm remained quiet.

“So nothing?”

“So, I'm working on it, Tinkers.” Grace sighed as she got up to throw her now empty cup into the sink. “Just give me some time, I’ll think of something.”

“Parker and Quaritch won’t listen.” You argued calmly, getting up as well. “Grace, you know that. They want that Unobtanium crap and guys like Parker and Quaritch aren’t going to stop just because we’re preaching kumbaya—”

“Then what do you suggest we do?!” Grace hissed exasperatedly. “Convince the Na’vi to leave their homes? Because we all know that’s not going to happen, no matter how diplomatic we try to be. Na’vi people will not leave, they will fight it and then we’ll have war on our hands!” She shook her head, running a hand through her red curls. “I don’t know what else you want me to do, kid.”

You knew what to do. You’ve known what to do for months now. “Someone has to do something.”

Grace narrowed her eyes, “Let me figure it out. Give me time.”

“Morning, Jake.” Norm said loudly, causing the two of you to turn to said man.

Jake was watching the two of you, obviously sensing the tension in the room. His eyes stayed on you longer as he asked, “Everything good?”

Norm glanced toward Grace and despite your stubbornness you did as well. At the end of all of this, Grace was the one in charge. All of you looked at her each time no matter what.

Grace was looking at you steadily and you realized at that moment there were way too many observant eyes on you. Watching you as if you would blow up any second. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Right, Tinkers?”

Perhaps you were being paranoid but you could’ve sworn that maybe, just maybe, Grace somehow knew what you were planning. She couldn’t have figured it out that quickly though, right? Of course, she knew you like a mother would a daughter but still, no one should know about the project. Not even her.

You have to be careful now.

“Peachy.” You forced a tight smile before grabbing your bowl of unfinished breakfast and throwing it in the sink.

Just as you were about to walk away, Grace grasped your arm, stopping you. “Don’t do anything reckless.” She tightened her grasp, giving you a stern look. “I’m serious.”

After a few seconds, she finally let you go. You didn’t say anything as you sauntered toward the door to your lab. Once you got to the hallway a voice called for you.

“Doc.”

Despite yourself, you stopped at Jake’s voice and turned to find him rolling toward you in the small hallway. Seeing him now reminded you that the two of you hadn’t spoken ever since he admitted to both you, Grace, and Norm about what Quaritch tasked him to do.

You weren’t purposefully avoiding him. Though you also weren’t going out of your way to talk to him either. Really, you wouldn’t blame him if he were upset with you right now.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, I get it and you have every right.” Jake started which surprised you. “But—”

“Jake, I’m not upset with you.” You assured him before he continued. An exhausted sigh left your lips as you leaned against your lab door. “I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Quaritch.” Jake frowned.

“More or less.”

He massaged his face tiredly before grunting, “I can figure out a way to fix all of this, to fix my mess. I-I know you love this place and I don’t want him—”

“You and Grace have an awful habit of carrying the world on your shoulders.” You commented, smiling sadly at him. You stepped forward, brushing his short hair back, causing him to look up at you. “Leave some for the rest of us, yeah?”

Just as you were about to drop your hand away from his hair, he caught your hand and directed it to rest against his cheek, his gaze never breaking from yours.

“Come to my ceremony tonight?” He asked quietly. Your heart fluttered as he squeezed your hand, “Grace will already be there. I want you there too.”

A smile stretched onto your face just as it became warmer by the second, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there.”

“Tsmuke!” Osa gasped excitedly as you and Grace arrived at Hometree. The younger girl ran over toward you and hugged your waist despite her mother’s protests.

“Hello, little one.” You smiled, patting the top of her head.

She looked up at you curiously, pulling you down to your knees. “Are you here for the ceremony?”

You nodded and allowed her to pull you toward the crowd of Na’vi as they began to gather. You could spot Tsu’tey in the midst looking grumpy but tolerant. Mo’at was also among them but stood at the front next to the clan leader and her husband, Eytukan. Of course, you and Grace both stood out since you were wearing clothes while the others wore their usual cultural clothing. You wondered if you’d ever be brave enough to wear what they wore. If Jake could rock a loincloth then perhaps you could do the same if you put your mind to it.

The very idea made you smile quietly despite your distracted mind.

Soon Jake joined the crowd of Na’vi that waited for him. His body was covered in white markings which you guessed was a part of the ceremony. The crowd parted just a bit so that he could stand in the middle and in front of both the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahik. Neytiri was with him, smiling proudly when her father stepped forward.

“You are now a son of the Omatikaya.” Eytukan announced. “You are part of The People.”

The Olo’eyktan was the first to place his hands on Jake’s shoulders and then the rest of the people had followed, touching each other’s shoulders, all of them connecting to the new son of their clan.

Grace grinned proudly and even her joy rubbed off on you a bit. Truly, you wished you could enjoy this entire moment all together, you wished you could be standing next to him, becoming one of the People as well. But even you knew this wouldn’t last long.

At least you would have this moment. At least you’d have this calm before the impending storm ahead.

Maybe in another life…

“Moping already?”

Later that night, you were sitting against a tree, absentmindedly watching both Jake, Grace, and Neytiri talking amongst each other, nearly blending into the crowd of people.

Tsu’tey was walking toward you and squatted down next to you, “Why are you not celebrating with your fellow demons?”

For a moment, you wondered how he’d react if he knew about Jake’s mission. How he’d react when he found out that you knew as well and didn’t tell him. You felt as if you were somehow betraying him, betraying the Omatikaya people the same as Jake was.

“Huh? What is wrong with you?” Tsu’tey pushed your head, snapping you out of your drowning thoughts. “Since when are you this quiet? You’re usually as mouthy as him.”

You shook your head, “It’s nothing. So what’s next for him? Now that he is one of the People.”

If Tsu’tey noticed the way you quickly changed the subject, he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead he focused his narrowed eyes on Jake who was standing next to Neytiri. “He can try to become a warrior, make himself useful. And then he can choose his mate or mates, whichever the people decide.”

“Mates?” You repeated incredulously. Yes, you heard the Na’vi could choose a mate but more than one? This was news to you. “Like at the same time?”

Tsu’tey looked at you as if the answer was obvious, “What, do you Sky People do not do that?” You frowned. He scoffed and smirked cockily, “Of course you don’t.”

“Well, not all the time...” You mumble.

He rolled his eyes before gesturing toward Neytiri’s father, “The Olo’eyktan used to have a second mate, along with our Tsahik. She died years ago.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No pity, tsmuke. It was long ago.” Tsu’tey stood. He then smacked your arm, nudging you off roughly, “Now get up. Go talk to your demon friend.”

You rolled your eyes and got up, “Always so demanding.”

He tapped his heart twice. You did the same.

“And keep him away from her.” He glared hotly in Jake’s direction as he was still standing with Neytiri.

And now that you looked at them, really looked at them, they looked close.

It was strange though. You did not get mad. You weren’t entirely hurt either. Perhaps this made things easier for you. Perhaps now you could go through with Project Pandora without anything holding you back from it.

Because once it’s launched there’s no going back. There was no coming back from it.

“Hey.”

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw that Jake was now in front of you, smiling down at you.

“Hi.”

Jake studied you for a moment, cupping your cheek gently, “Why are you over here all alone—”

You backed away, “Um, I’m uh, I have to go.” He stared at you in confusion as you removed his hand, “Tell Grace I’ll be back at the station.”

Just as you were walking away, Jake followed after you, grasping your arm, “Whoa, whoa, what’s going on with you? Doc—”

“Nothing!” You turned when he pulled you back. “It’s nothing, okay? I just need some time alone.”

“Y/N.” Jake moved in front of you, now blocking your way, forced to face him. “I know something’s up. You’ve been acting strange since this morning and I’m worried, okay? I’m worried about you. Hey—”

He caught your face between his hands. Despite yourself, your eyes fluttered closed. Drowning in his touch, the way he held you how you always yearned for him to, his scent overwhelming your senses, your foreheads leaning on each other.

The two of you stayed like this, neither one of you saying anything, afraid of what the other would do. Just when you felt the gentle graze against your lips, you stopped him, shaking your head and pulled away.

“I need time.” You whispered, not meeting his gaze. “Go back to the ceremony, go back to Grace…and Neytiri.” You placed your hands on his chest, further pushing him away. “I’ll be fine.”

Jake didn’t let you go right away. Instead he moved his hands from your face toward your hands against his chest, grabbing them and squeezing them tightly in his hands.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” He told you a small smirk lifting his lips. “At least not without me.”

You lift your shoulders half-heartedly, “I’ll try.”

The next morning, your pillow was snatched from underneath you.

Your eyes snapped open, “What the fuck—”

Grace stood over you, glaring at you as if she were challenging you to finish the sentence. “Get in the link bed.”

She stalked away as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and staggered out of your bed. Everything was too confusing, you woke up too fast, and now the world around you was muffled and groggy. The only thing you could make out was Grace’s back as she continued down the short hallway and into the link room..

“What…What’s going on, Grace?” You asked, finally able to take in your surroundings after a few seconds. She didn’t respond to you as she pulled open her link bed. Norm was already awake and setting it up. “Grace, what—”

“I do not want to talk about this here.” The way she talked to you made both you and Norm stop, startled. Now that you were looking at her, she looked pissed and perhaps even frightened. But of what you did not know.

Wait. Did something happen? Did the RDA do something? Where was Jake?

“Jake is already linked up.” Grace hoisted herself onto her link bed as if she read your mind. She then pointed toward yours, “Get in!”

“Alright, alright!” You scrambled toward your link bed, pulled it open, and got in. Norm came to you seconds later, “Do you know what’s going on?”

He shook his head, “No. All I know is she was in a rush to get Jake into his avatar so she could talk to you. Must be serious.”

Well, that certainly didn’t help. But you didn’t say anything as Norm closed your lid and linked you to your avatar.

When you peeled your eyes open, you found Grace standing in front of you. Yellow eyes glaring at you.

You sat up, checking your surroundings. Just as you remembered, you were still in the forest where you last left your avatar. Now you looked back at Grace, “Okay, what’s going on—”

Before you could even finish, she dropped a bunch of papers down on the ground in front of you. Once you saw the familiar designs that belonged to parts of your project, your eyes widened as you began scooping it up.

“How did you—”

“Don’t speak in English!” Grace hissed before pointing up. “The RDA could be watching!”

You considered your options as of now. Okay, she knew of the plans because of the designs and blueprints. But she didn’t know where you had hidden them. If you had to guess, she went into your lab and found these. Fortunately, you prepared for this and didn’t hide the actual project in your lab.

“What the hell are you thinking?!” Grace snapped, gesturing wildly to the papers you had now rolled up in your arms, “Creating bombs?! Have you fucking lost your mind?!”

“If I had lost my mind then I wouldn’t have been able to build it.”

“Don’t be a smartass!” Grace scoffed in disbelief, running her hands through her hair. “I can’t believe you would do this, do you know how dangerous this is? Do you know what would happen if Quaritch would’ve found this?!”

“He wouldn’t have—”

“You don’t know that! And you sure as hell didn’t make it difficult since those were sitting out in broad daylight!” She began pacing, shaking her head as she took in deep breaths. “How long has this been going on?”

You didn’t reply right away.

Grace whirled around to face you with wide frightened eyes, “Y/N, HOW LONG?!”

“Since the day he shot up the fucking school!” You snapped finally. Her eyes remained wide as she stared at you, jaw slacked. “There! Is that what you wanted to hear?!”

“No, Tinkers.” The look of disappointment made you falter. “I don’t want to hear that you created bombs just to get back at the RDA. To get back at Quaritch. What happened to not letting him get in your head? It’s all a suicide mission, Y/N!” You looked away, clutching the papers close to your chest. “How many did you make?”

You frowned, “Eight. Nine if you count the prototype.”

“Jesus! In two years?!”

You shrugged pathetically, “I am a child prodigy.”

Grace scowled at you for a moment until her eyes widened again, “Fuck, they’re not in the station are they?!”

“No! I’m not stupid!”

“That’s fucking debatable!”

You breathed out a tired sigh and knelt down as you tore the papers apart into little pieces until the designs were nothing but trash. You began to cover it up with dirt. Grace continued pacing in the corner of your eye. “What do you want me to do, Grace?”

It took a few moments for her to gather herself. Grace had never yelled at you like this before, never had she raised her voice at you in the years you worked side by side with her. You didn’t recognize her when she was angry with you. Hell, you hadn’t recognized yourself in years now either.

“To not use them.” She finally said as she stopped pacing. Instead, she approached you and knelt down in front of you, helping you dump more dirt on the shreds of paper. She then placed a hand on your shoulder. “Let us find another way. One where you don’t get hurt in the end.”

You dared to ask the question you knew she was afraid to ask.

“And what if your way doesn’t work?”

Before Grace could say anything, the bushes rustled further away from you. Both of you froze. You glanced around, looking for anything to defend yourself with. Instead, Jake and Neytiri appeared through the bushes, wide eyes meeting yours and Grace’s.

“What’s going on?” Grace asked when she stood. You followed slowly, gauging their faces carefully.

“The Sky People!” Neytiri hissed, gesturing wildly where they had come from. “They’re killing the forest! They are destroying everything!”

Your heart sank. This couldn’t have come at a worse time. Neytiri ran off and Jake stumbled after her, not before shouting to you and Grace, “They’re bulldozing the forest! We have to warn them now! We have to tell them!”

Grace and you glanced toward each other before running off after them. Fortunately, for you, the Hometree wasn’t too far from where you and Grace had been. When you arrived, many of the people were gathered together and from what you understood as you got closer, it sounded like they were beginning to lead an attack on the RDA after what they did with the bulldozers Jake mentioned.

Once you got close enough, Grace cut toward the middle so that she could be heard by the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahik. “Stop, please! This will only make it worse!”

Tsu’tey scowled at her, “You do not speak here!” He then turned to the rest of the Na’vi and shouted, “We will strike them in the heart!”

“Damn it.” You muttered, wide eyes bouncing everywhere as the warriors hooted in agreement.

“Tsu’tey!” Jake appeared next to you with Neytiri. “Don’t do this!”

You grabbed Jake’s bicep before he could go any closer. You had seen the look cross Tsu’tey’s face before any of the others. The way he glanced between him and Neytiri, the way it was clear his mind was quickly jumping to conclusions, leading him to charge toward Jake.

“Tsu’tey!” You shouted as he shoved Jake to the ground. Neytiri was quick to grab you out of the way as the warrior went for Jake. “Tsu’tey, enough!”

“You dare!” Neytiri screeched after moving you safely out of the way, hissing at Tsu’tey.

He ignored the both of you, scowling, “You mated with this woman?!”

Your heart felt as if it had stopped for those few short seconds.

But Jake shook his head quickly as he staggered to his feet, “No! No, I didn’t!”

But Tsu’tey didn’t look convinced as he went for Jake again, taking out his knife. This time Neytiri had tried to interfere but her father pulled her away before she could reach the two men. Grace was at your side, gripping your arm, silently telling you not to be foolish and get involved.

“This is stupid!” You hissed at her.

“Yeah, well, we’re both not fighters. Let’s remember that, Tinkers.” Grace mumbled, keeping you at her side.

“Correction, you’re not a fighter. I am.”

“Just listen for once, Tinkers!”

Once Jake finally threw Tsu’tey off, leaving the latter with a bloody nose, he finally spoke. “I am Omatikaya. I am one of you. I have the right to speak! And I have something to say to all of you.” He glanced toward you, “The words are like stones in my heart.”

But you did not get to hear the rest nor did Jake say anything else. The last thing you saw was the world tipping over and feeling as if your consciousness has left your body.

“Y/N!”

Just as large breaths of air enter your lungs, your chest jolting upward. You had never been suddenly pulled out of a link like that, especially not without you knowing beforehand. Usually Norm would tell you.

But instead of Norm opening the lid, it was a geared up soldier standing over you. Wainfleet.

“Hey, cupcake.” He grinned down at you, taking out a red strip as he yanked one of your wrists out. “Looks like you made the boss mad.”

You tried fighting his grip, scowling at him, “Fuck you!”

Wainfleet sighed, feigning hurt. “Damn, Doc. I didn’t know you were always so feisty. Best save that energy for the boss.”

And in the next second, you were dragged out of the link bed.

taglist: @luvvfromme @sully-stick-together @dazedshoon @jakesullylvr @s-u-t @ssc7514 @cheari@tojigirl @nyotamalfoy @perfectprofessorloverapricot @erenjaegerwifee @naityelen @dumb-fawkin-bitch @raggedyoldwitch @dorck26 @nhemmingsf @biooiuygjjgfsrb @thatsenoughformelol @tojigirl

#to you worlds away #avatar jake sully x reader #avatar jake sully #avatar jake #jake sully #jake sully x reader #avatar way of water #avatar 2 #tsu'tey #sam worthington #neytiri #avatar the way of water #atwow

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heyidkyay · 5 months

Text

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Eight

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Hey! Quick note, this part has a LOT going on, it jumps from pov 2 or 3 times, but there's details mentioned that will make more sense later on, I hope that leaves no one confused:) Also there are a few new characters coming in, some will stay, some won't, so keep that in mind! I was gonna end this part like halfway through and then post, but it felt a little unfinished, so here it is hope you enjoy:))) x

Warnings: A short scene revolving around body image, mentions of scars, drugs, sobriety and heavy drinking

Masterlist

Messages now Jamie O (glasses!) In the area, fancy meeting up for coffee?

It had been a good few days since I had last messaged either Jamie or Matty. Though the latter hadn't seemed to have caught onto the fact that I had suddenly distanced myself. Jamie, on the other hand, had and had surprisingly given me some space with it.

Well, up until now that was.

It was a weary sigh that escaped me when I gazed down at my phone, needless chatter of gossiping mums and squealing children having faded far into the background.

I had only just managed to drop Teddy off at nursery, dipping and diving through the crowd to deliver him right to the classroom door, and was already halfway out of the playground now. It was my first day off in weeks- like proper day off. And now, I had Jamie to deal with.

Alright, maybe that was a bit harsh, but saying that, I wasn’t so much of a twat to just ignore the first message he’d sent me in a while. Especially after I'd disregarded all of the man's previous efforts. Still I couldn't quite stop myself from huffing quietly as I shot him back a message, anxiety creeping in.

Messages now Closer to Tufnell Park than the studio at the minute

Jamie’s response came only seconds later.

Messages now Jamie O (glasses!) No worries! Meet you near The Dome?

Sidestepping a few latecomers as I exited the school gate, I chewed on my bottom lip but eventually sent a text to let Jamie know that I'd be there. I only hoped that the man didn't ask too many questions about my sudden disappearance, I wasn’t too sure I could take the heat.

Early morning rush hour was in full swing by the time I’d made my way out onto the highstreet, people bustled past me to get to work without a care, or even an apology, for anyone who got in their way, zooming on ahead like a soldier in a storm. That was one of the things that had taken me some time to get used to, in truth. How different the crowds of London were to the tiny population of my hometown.

I'd just surpassed the underground station when I caught sight of a vaguely familiar head of dishevelled hair. Jamie stood a way ahead, smiling at the passersby with his hands shoved deeply into the lining of his coat's pockets. He wore a pair of dark, fitted trousers and had a smart looking scarf thrown haphazardly over his right shoulder, something to shelter him from the exaggerated cold.

Somehow, his face seemed to brighten upon seeing me approach.

"Glad you could make it!" He said as I approached, and he clapped my upper arm in light greeting. "Thought you would have managed to beat me here though."

I made do with a small smile, before gesturing my head over towards where a quaint cafe sat up a few doors down so that we could begin walking.

"Nah, it's pretty hectic trying to escape the crowds at this time. Did you catch the tube up here then?" I conversed and saw Jamie’s brow dip for the briefest of moments before he hastily shook his head at my question.

"Oh, no. Was just leaving a meeting up in Shoreditch, you were on my route so I thought I'd ask."

I gave a low hum, unsure, but didn't comment on it when I thanked him for holding the door open for me to pass through.

"What are you in the mood for then? It's on me."

"Ah, no it's-"

I didn't even get the chance to decline the offer before Jamie was waving me off with a charming smile and a wave of his arm. "Honestly, mate. It's fine, a cup of coffee won't have me out on my arse. So what do you want?"

Blinking with a somewhat disbelieving shake of my head, I prattled off my usual order in a low murmur and told Jamie that I'd find us a table. Just wanting to be helpful, but also to get a second to think things through.

The cafe wasn't too busy. It held the expected usuals; a handful of early-rising old timers and a couple of suits headed in late. So there were a few free tables up for grabs. I picked the one by the window.

Jamie joined me a few minutes later, wearing his usual grin as he carried over a tray of goodies. I raised an eyebrow at the mountain of sweet pastries procured but the man simply shrugged.

"Looked like you'd had a long morning, figured you to be the chocolate type." He commented as he nudged a large croissant in my direction.

Just looking at the buttery roll made my stomach grumble. Teddy and I had been in a wee bit of a rush this morning to get out of the house after my alarm had failed to wake us, so I'd skipped breakfast and picked Teds up something to eat on the way into school.

Toying with the rim of the coffee's handle, I gave Jamie an appreciative smile. “Cheers.” I breathed out and carefully pulled the plate in a little closer.

After that we both simply sipped at our warm drinks for a short while, watching as the morning commuters passed by the large window. It was a calm affair and far from as awkward as I might've expected the meeting to be. In fact, it was actually the first time Jamie and I had met up since that day at the studio, and even then we hadn't had much of an opportunity to chat.

Still, Jamie’s company felt very similar to that of Adi's- perhaps even Finn's. It allowed me to relax a little.

It was only after I'd broken off the end of my croissant that I spoke up.

"So, is driving across London at nine in the morning just to buy me a drink your idea of a date, or do you do this with all your mates?"

Jamie blinked at me once, twice, before his eyes widened in alarm, which caused me to, quite literally, snort into my tea.

"I'm joking! Don't fret. Just wondering why the sudden change in pace."

Jamie gifted me a sheepish grin in response and took a quick swig of his coffee before he finally replied.

"You went quiet on us." He shrugged as he picked apart a blueberry muffin, separating the berries from the soft sponge, which amused me somewhat. "Gave you a couple days to breathe, but I reckon you've had long enough. You wanna tell me what's up?"

My eyes strayed back to the window as I withheld a sigh, knowing full well that this had been coming.

“You know how it is.” I shrugged, almost petulant, and gripped at my cup a little tighter. "Just got busy. I mean, you have to deal with Matty and the band constantly. Can’t be an easy feat."

I received a laugh in turn but my attempt at a little lighthearted humour didn't derail Jamie.

"I know we haven't known each other that long, and you really do have no reason to trust me, of all people, with your problems. But I am here if you ever need anything. Can't speak for Matty, try as I might, but I wouldn't put it past him to go completely out of his way to do whatever you asked either." He chuckled to himself then, like he knew something I didn’t. "He actually hasn't been able to stop talking about you, you know. Not since we met."

I tapped at the mug and felt my tongue prod the inside of my cheek to keep from snorting at Jamie’s words. I just shook my head.

"Doubt he's even noticed I've stopped replying." I quipped lightly, trying to shrug off the sudden emotion that admission had stirred up.

"Ah, so you have been ignoring us then."

I inhaled sharply and dropped my gaze. I couldn’t outright lie to him.

"Yeah, sorry. Just had a lot going on, you know? This is all new for me, you and Matty, you've just. I don't even know. You just turned up out of the blue and..."

"Sort of invited ourselves into your life?" Jamie filled in with a wry smile.

"No, no! That's- that's not what I meant. Honestly. It's just strange. Different from what I expected." I attempted to backtrack, but ultimately failed.

"No, I get it." Jamie assured, but didn't push the topic any further. "You're stupid, by the way, if you think Matty hasn't noticed. In all the time I've known him, the idiot’s only ever texted me when he's needed something- but the last couple days? I don't think my phone’s stopped going off."

I shovelled another piece of the chocolatey pastry into my mouth to keep myself from replying or reading too much into that.

Jamie released a breathy chuckle and shook his head, as though he could read my reaction, my thoughts. "You've been good for him so far, Mouse. No parties. No drugs. Can't say the same thing about the drink, but he's cut a lot of it out. And I'm chalking that all up to you, ‘cause I can't think of anything else that might've changed in his life to have forced his hand like this."

His words confused me, but then he paused for a moment and purposely caught my eye.

"Whatever's happened, don't let it keep you from opening up. Not just for his sake, but for yours too. Besides, you can never have too many friends, can you?"

I wiped at my mouth before dipping my head in quiet assent. "No. I ‘spose I can do friends."

Jamie all but beamed, looking pretty proud of himself as he reached across the table for a scone. "Now, tell me all the things that I've missed."

***

Matty practically jumped out of his seat when he heard the front door rattle shut.

He'd been on edge since the moment he had woken up, but had decided to try for once. He made breakfast (well, rather a late lunch), tried all that meditating malarky (his therapist would be, oh so, proud), and even ended up doing a loop of the block in a desperate attempt to keep his chaotic mind at bay. But nothing. Nothing. Had been able to keep him from wearing the soles of his feet into the fucking floorboards.

"And where’ve you been?" Matty instigated as soon as Jamie strolled into his sitting room with his usual smile, shaking off the autumn chill he’d invited in with him.

"Around." Was all the twat replied as he draped his heavy overcoat on the back of one of the upholstered armchairs. He paused to eye Matty closely. "Why, what's got your knickers in a twist?"

Matty’s scowl was infamous by this point, but Jamie was one of the fair few to have gotten used to it. A right shame, that. "Nothing! Just- I texted you, wanted an update."

Jamie quirked an amused brow his way and it took all of Matty’s nervous pent up energy not to blow up at him. He could feel his own irritation building though, it tingled in the tips of his fingers and raised goosebumps across his skin.

"That all? You know the team won't give us an answer until they’re certain that it all won't fall through."

Matty gritted his teeth together and tugged a rough hand through his dishevelled hair. "It's bollocks! It's our fucking album, why do they get a say in what happens with it?"

Jamie sighed quietly to himself as he wandered over towards the heavyset globe sat in the far corner. Matty watched on as he slid its top off and procured a pair of tumblers, pouring two fingers of murky whiskey into each of the old fashioned glasses.

"You know why, mate."

They'd had this conversation too many times before. And yet,

Matty clenched his jaw to keep from snapping, lashing out, but his knuckles whitened around the glass when Jamie pressed it into his palm. He almost wanted to laugh.

"Thought you wanted me off the drink?" He remarked coldly but swallowed the spirit down before Jamie could give him an actual answer, or take it away. He only wished that the alcohol burned brighter, these days it barely left a bitter tang on his tongue.

Jamie didn't touch his own as he made his way on over towards the chaise lounge, but his fingertips tapped a smooth rhythm against the crystal. The house didn’t make a sound.

Matty followed, as expected, restlessly flinging his feet up onto the centre table before his agitation once again began to overwhelm him. He huffed when he dropped them back to the floor again, the heavy vibrations grounding him somewhat as he moved to rest his elbows on the knobs of his knees.

"That newest story's doing wonders for you right now though." Jamie told him gently when Matty’s quick eyes met his gaze, his hands still toying with the full glass. "They want to rebuild your image. Figure it'll help with album presales, and they're not really all that wrong, mate. Since you've been out of um-”

“You can say it.”

Jamie rolled his eyes but barrelled on, “Since you've been out of rehab. Well, the public's been enjoying seeing this new side of you. Besides, I thought you liked whatever her name was."

With a scoff, Matty forced his gaze away. "It's complete shit and you know it. PR just wants control. For me to fall in line. And the public couldn't give a single fuck about what I do! All they live for is the gossip, the drama. And that's what I do best, no? Don't worry though, J, I'm sure I'll fuck up sooner or later."

"Don't talk like that." Jamie scolded as he pushed his tumbler onto the table and moved a little closer. He looked to be fighting an internal battle, his fingers twitching on the inseam of his leg to keep himself from reaching out to comfort.

"Oh, fucking come off it, Jamie! You know it's true." Matty spat back, the rage once again building. These past few days had had him fraying. "I bet they’re already sitting there at that table just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I already know they’ll want to be the first in the know, when I finally do fuck up again. Spout about what a waste of space I am! How they should've sacked me off sooner. That it should've been me and not-"

"Don't."

Jamie’s voice cut through the room like a blaring siren, but Matty had never heard him speak so lowly.

"Don't go there. He wouldn't want you thinking that way."

Matty locked his jaw and narrowed his scrutinising eyes at Jamie. "Don't act like you know what he'd want."

Jamie glanced away for the briefest of seconds and inhaled slowly before his gaze finally returned. Matty could see his own torment reflected in Jamie’s sad eyes. "It hurt me too. You know that."

Matty forced his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Unable to deal with the many emotions that threatened to overpower him. He swiped Jamie's drink off of the table and swallowed it down in one, then swiftly stood and strode across the room to make another.

The amber liquid warmed his chest as expected and he felt the moment it hit his empty stomach. He braced himself against the globe's golden stand, leaving his hair to fall helplessly into his face. Thankfully, it shielded his glossy eyes from Jamie’s view.

It was still so hard. Most nights it was all he could ever picture-

No. Not today, he rebuked. Not now. Not again.

It was a never ending nightmare that he just couldn't seem to wake himself up from. And how he fucking wished he could wake up.

Matty went to refill the glass again but faltered. His hand stilled, midair, fingers itching to grab at the ancient old bourbon that sat only inches away, but instead he reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his phone.

Too many notifications cluttered the screen. But not a single one from the person he wanted to talk to most.

In a fit of dismay, he went to throw the stupid thing at the nearest wall but a hand caught his wrist before he could do any real damage.

Matty’s eyes flickered up to meet Jamie’s- he choked.

"I just-" He tried to force out but the words felt like thick bile in his throat. His lip trembled and Jamie tugged him close. Matty wondered when he'd ever allowed the man to get so close. To breach his high walls.

"I know." Jamie hushed him, allowing a steady hand to come to rest at the back of Matty’s neck. "I know, mate."

Matty wondered if he truly did.

***

Mesmerising.

I let the word play over and over on a loop in my head as my fingertips trailed along the jagged lines of my torso.

Seventeen I'd been- my first time with this boy from college and he had called the scars I was forced to bare mesmerising. As if they were something special, something to be proud of. I'd frozen back then, the word had, so suddenly, hindered my entire world, but he'd gone on exploring without even noticing the way my mind had started to spiral.

The scars had always been a difficult pill to swallow. They weren't mine. I hated how others could so easily claim their own. His scars. My scars. Hers. I didn't want them. They were just there. A myriad of haunted memories to which I'd been burdened with since the age of seven.

All these years later and still I couldn't recall the smooth expanse of skin that had once been there- untarnished, unharmed.

The bronze shadows, created by the setting sun which illuminated my bedroom walls in a burning shade of amber, crawled across the floorboards beneath my feet and caressed my skin. They dipped and curved, exaggerating sharp lines and hallowing shallow slopes.

I'd only meant to have a quick shower, in and out, before Finn inevitably ended up dropping Teddy back home. But I'd left the wardrobe door wide open in my haste to leave early this morning and had yet to shut it, exposing the slim mirror attached to the inside of the wooden door. A slip up.

So now my distorted body stared back at me mercilessly and I couldn't find it in myself to tear my eyes away. The meek girl stood within its four cutting lines just wasn't me. It was simply the reflection of a sheltered kid who'd been forced to grow up far too quickly.

Her skin, hardly what you'd pale but not far off, was flushed and pink all over from the steam of the shower. Her hair, still damp and wet, clung to the majority of her forehead and dripped water droplets down the line of her throat. Her eyes, usually a deep, warm colour, were somewhat sunken, hidden behind heavy lids and long lashes. The dark circles that sat beneath them only emphasised the muted scarlet that rimmed her waterline- a lack of sleep.

I wet my lips. They were dry, bitten from hours of relentless anxiety, but parted enough so that my front teeth could just about be seen. Her face was lined by worry. Fine wrinkles etched themselves around the corners of her eyes and mouth, then again between her furrowed brows.

The scars, faded but somehow still raw, swept up her neck and collarbone, and jumped over her right shoulder. One crept across the cut of her jaw, whilst another sliced through the bridge of her nose to meet another, smaller scar, on her cheek. Her chest, where it had been previously impaled, was now stretched and knitted. Some lines were a few shades darker than her natural complexion, maroon, and oftentimes cardinal. Others were lighter, pale and whitened. Faded.

A gruesome gash down the centre of her abdomen led to a spattering of fine hairs that lined her navel, trailing low beneath the hem of the towel she'd wrapped around her waist earlier. Her hands were now fisted at her sides though, so much so that prominent veins danced up the insides of her forearms, skirting around the few fawn freckles that painted her skin.

Mesmerising.

The sudden blare of a mobile ringing sent a sharp chill up my spine and knocked the air back into me. Shakily I inhaled, averting my eyes from the mirrored prison, then spun round on my heel to answer the call.

There was no greeting, no small talk. It was cutthroat and to the point.

"I need a drink. You coming?"

And I had never answered a question quicker.

It was a hard task, squinting down at my phone in an attempt to concentrate on the text I was trying to send to Finn, but the strobe lights and throng of people around me were making the task rather fucking difficult.

To be honest though, I couldn’t actually remember the last time I'd stepped foot inside a club. Or even spent an entire evening sat in the local pub. But I’d been all but desperate, and so, in the heat of the moment, I had practically jumped at the first offer I’d been given.

I was beginning to second guess that decision now though as I pushed my way through the rowdy crowds, the assorted smell of liquor and sweat already clinging to my clothes. I hadn't really put too much thought into those, too busy trying to escape my own head. Really, I’d just thrown on an old skirt from my uni days, a top that made my tits look great but hid the scar there, and the well-worn leather jacket Finn had gifted me at the end of my first year working on the show.

I had just sent the text off, double checking with the man himself that he was still alright to have Teddy til the following morning, when a raised voice caught my attention.

Frowning, my head snapped up but that soon faded once I caught sight of the tall ginger propped up against the bar not too far away. My lips curled up into a lopsided grin on their own command and I was quick to pocket my phone, already moving towards him.

"Mighty Mouse. You actually made it!" Ronan Kelly bellowed in that familiar Irish lilt of his, welcoming me in with a hearty squeeze to the waist as we embraced. "It's a feckin' miracle!"

I gave him an impish smile and dipped my head slightly to rub at my nose, then made the effort to catch Ronan's icy gaze. "I guess it has been a while."

"A while- Babe, I ain't seen you in months!" Ronan laughed, flashing a row of white teeth and wrinkling his bright blue eyes. I felt some of my worries ease at the sight of the man's familiar face, a warm reminder of older days. "Can't believe you actually agreed to come out with us!"

I shook my head and released an airy chuckle, "You know how it is, Ro- got Teddy to worry about now."

Ronan's face, if possible, lit up even further at the mention of the small toddler. "Ah, grand! How is the wean? At school now, right?"

It was sweet of him to ask and I smiled up at him as I went to answer, but was forced further into Ronan’s space when some prat barged past me to get to the bar. Ronan caught me by the waist with a natural ease he’d always been capable of and narrowed his eyes at the guilty party from over my shoulder.

Not wanting things to escalate, I did my best to quickly wave it off and distract. "Teddy's good!" I heard myself tell him, voice slightly raised to be heard over the pulsing music, tiptoeing almost now in his grasp. "He's with Finn at the moment."

Ronan's gaze reluctantly trailed back to me upon hearing me speak, he reluctantly smiled and nodded but had yet to drop his hands from where they were now stationed at my hips.

"I'm sure Finn is completely lovin' that."

With a light laugh, I rolled my eyes at his sarky reply and moved to press my forearm up against the edge of the bar’s countertop. "They're a proper little duo. Finn has been a saint, what with all his help and that. Don't think I'd be standing here today without him really."

"Well, let's cheers to that then, hey?" Ronan grinned, then raised a hand to gesture over towards the barman.

Within seconds two pints were being placed on the bartop, a dizzying yellow colour filled to the brim with minuscule bubbles that had my mouth watering. It had been a long while since a fresh pint of lager had wet my lips and it helped that Ronan’s presence was a comfort.

"Sláinte!" He announced brashly, already having hoisted his glass into the air between us.

"Cheers!" I laughed, clinking our glasses together before gulping down a too large swig.

"That's what I like to see!" Ronan whooped, almost proudly. He squeezed my right hip in celebration before choosing to steer us both away from the bar and over towards a wall lined with darkened booths. "Come on, Auley and everyone's waiting over here, been excited to see ya!”

I only nodded in reply, pint close to my chest as I followed after him, bobbing between an array of patrons effortlessly now. The earlier anxiety shovelled deep, deep down.

***

Withdrawal was something Matty had never thought too much about in the years before. He'd always had everything right there, on tap. A quick hit, a line just to pick him up. It always felt so easy.

But now, without the copious amount of pills, the parties, he finally realised why the fuck people were never able to stay away for too long. Because sooner or later, they always ended up crawling back.

It wasn't so much the flu-ish like sickness that had him reeling, although he really could've done without the high-fever sweats and the full body tremors. It was more that ever encompassing sorrow. The depression that never seemed to lift- but then again, depressed wasn't even the first word he would use to describe it. It was like a thick plume of murky black that fogged every exit, far beyond the gut wrenching nausea that clawed away at his insides at all hours of the day, or the constant drilling in his head that kept him from sleep.

Being without-

Being without was practically maddening. A spiral of hellish days with no escape, the only choice he had was to carry on or simply turn back. And he'd come too far now to run towards the latter, he’d already made that mistake. And if he had anything to thank his godforsaken mother for, it was the sheer stubbornness they both so clearly shared.

Matty couldn't complain though, he wouldn’t, as much as he wished he often could though, because he was still leaning heavily on the spirits. He knew. As well as the band and Jamie, who'd also been hellbent on 'helping'. In their own way.

Although the idiots hadn't made things much easier for him, the guys hadn't put up much of a fight against his drunk ramblings or the never ending mood swings. They just took it all in stride. Which Matty was mostly grateful for.

The alcohol though, he'd currently taken to using as a crutch. He'd drink a little more and more just to cope with the effects, the longing, to get him through to the next day. But he'd never felt too dependent on it before and didn't feel as though it was a massive problem now, he'd been drinking since before he'd worked out how to pick the lock on his dad’s old liquor cabinet. He’d keep drinking ‘til he was near the grave.

The drinking though, was just a baby habit in comparison to the drugs.

It was also how he'd managed to find himself out on a Thursday night.

He'd actually managed to forgo Hann's mothering this time, sending his mate off home early from the studio before he'd called up an old friend. Itching for that familiarity of older times, shaking with it really, but knowing better.

"Oi, Healy- you still with us?" Crowed a loud voice in his left ear.

Matty startled at it and turned back around to find the one and only Danny Willis hanging over his shoulder, usual open-mouthed grin on full display, a drink in hand.

He blinked up at him once before Matty’s lips turned upwards into a lazy smile, he spun around on his foot to get further in his friend's face. "Thought you'd gone off with that bird?"

"Who, blondie?" Danny questioned, smirking now. "Nah, wouldn't have left you hanging all alone, mate."

Matty snorted.

"Ah, so you do care!" He drained the dregs of his bourbon then grinned at the twat, "Always wondered whether you fancied me, Danny boy! Guess this just proves it, don’t it?"

Danny wound an arm around his shoulders and leant in to press a sloppy, wet kiss to his cheek. Matty pulled away, cackling as he tried to shrug the added weight off.

"Prick." Matty scoffed lightly, stumbling as he rubbed at his face. He grunted at the small group he'd accidentally bulldozed into in his haste and they all scowled in return, but it wasn't long before Danny jumped in to rescue and steer him away.

"Come on. Let's get out of here, hey? The next bar awaits and all that." Danny proclaimed, chucking back the remnants of his own drink. Matty chuckled when the man winced and then wiped the corners of his mouth. "Reckon we might be able to find someone decent for you to take home there!"

Matty merely hummed in reply as they pushed their way through a set of double doors and out into the night, not really listening as he propped himself up against Dan's side, ignoring the whispers that tended to follow wherever he went.

"Ah, look at that, would you!" Danny's voice came again, right by his ear, as he paused on the pavement to cock his chin outwards, forcing Matty to follow his gaze. "It's a full moon!"

Matty rolled his eyes.

***

"Come on, Mouse!" Auley tried for the umpteenth time that night. His larger than life smile, I noted, had always been much gentler than that of his brother's. "You can't stay cooped up in this booth all evenin'! You need to put yourself out there, darlin’- have some fun!"

I shook my head, chuckling up at the giant of a man standing before me. "I swear I'm fine here, Aul. You go and have enough fun for the both of us."

Auley's face scrunched up in distaste as he reluctantly pushed away from the table's edge, the dim lights of the bar illuminating his hair, almost seeming to set it alight as it added a halogen glow to the already coppery red.

Ronan chose that moment to reappear, brushing past his brother to settle back into the booth next to me. He set two more drinks down on the table. "Leave the poor lass alone, won’t you, Aul! You know how she gets."

I rolled my eyes, albeit fondly, and Auley did the same as he slowly backed away, mouth quirked upwards. "Yeah, yeah. Yer like a pair of old women, you two- peas in a pod or somethin'."

"Ah, shove off!" Ronan laughed, a deep rumbling sound that shook his whole body. "Think I can hear the dance floor callin' your name, mate."

"Too right." Auley quipped, flashing another bright grin at his brother before he turned back to face me. "Know that this isn't over just yet. You might've won this battle but you ain't won the war, darlin’. I'll soon get that dance."

I snorted, but was unable to help my grin. "One day, babe."

Auley winked at me and I watched on as he melted into the mob of people before us, leaving Ronan and I alone.

I observed the crowd for a long moment, taking note of all their dizzying smiles. For a Thursday night, the bar was oddly rampacked, but I couldn't find it in myself to complain too much, not when everyone seemed to be having a great time.

There was a large group of us out tonight. Alongside asking me to join, Ronan and Auley had brought along the entirety of their flat as well as a few others, some from uni, others from work, I reckoned. They'd all split up within the first half hour though, but they kept drifting back and forth, I could easily spot Penn and his brightly coloured shirt over by the snooker table in the very far corner, and most of the girls had crowded together out on the dance floor.

"Havin' a good night then?"

I repositioned myself upon hearing Ronan's question, he was closer now in an attempt to be heard over the music, and I sipped at the foamy top of my pint before answering. "Yeah, I am. It's, well it's been a while since I last did anything like this." I chuckled, eyes roaming the room again.

Ronan shifted closer once more, the booth’s leather seat squeaking quietly under his weight as the song on the overhead speakers faded into the next.

"I'm glad. We haven't seen you proper since yer last year at uni."

It was true but that wasn't just down to me, I felt the need to say. But instead gave him a small smile as I just shrugged, thumbing the edge of the table, "Life gets busy with a baby. Plus, it's not as though any of you lot had time to just drop by and see me, with all your classes and what not."

Ronan’s lips pursed at my words and a quiet stretched between us. I watched on as he fiddled with the bottom of his pint glass, before finally he replied. "Could've made time. Finn did. Cassie, too. Just- it felt strange, going back after that summer and you not bein' there."

To be honest, I didn't really know what to say to that.

As much as I had loved my time at university, I hadn't really had much space for it in my life after Teddy had come along. And although I’d never regretted my decision to leave, not after everything I'd gone through to get to where I am today. Because my God, had that been hard. I did sometimes miss the memories I’d made there, the people I’d met and, surprisingly, the workload too. It made me question whether I could have had it all, a degree and a baby. Although, I somehow doubted that that was what Ronan was grasping at here.

But it wouldn’t do well to continue to dwell on the past. I'd already spent a large portion of my life doing exactly that, and I’d known in the long run that I would have to have let go of some things in order to provide a better life for Teddy, better than the one that I’d had. I wanted my son to have every possible opportunity, every choice, in order to better himself. I wanted him to be a kid for as long as life would let him.

And as much as I really did love spending time with Ronan and the old gang, I also knew that come tomorrow morning I had actual commitments and responsibilities to attend to. I didn't have the opportunity anymore to skive and bunk off of lectures so that I could deal with a nasty hangover and sleep in. Teddy was always relying on me to come through. And come through I would. Every time.

But right now! I just needed to let my hair down. Enjoy an evening away, and maybe (hopefully) get rid of some of that tension that had been piling up over the previous weeks.

Thankfully though, I was saved from answering when a flushed Alice came hurrying over, clinking her cocktail on the table so hard it's fruity contents spilled out across the wooden surface. The overexcited girl, who was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, didn't pay much mind to the mess as she threw herself into our booth and peered over her shoulder to search for something or other.

I shot Ronan a bewildered look, but the ginger merely widened his eyes at me as if to say that he had no clue what was going on either.

"Er, you alright, Al?"

Alice's head snapped back so fast that I honestly fretted a little over the whiplash she must've felt.

"No?! Do I look alright?" Alice stressed, digging her perfectly painted nails into the red cushion that lined the booth's back. "You'll never believe who Penn and I just saw walk in!"

I only hid a smile to myself whilst Ronan decided to humour Alice. "Who d’ya see, Ali-cat?"

Alice's face was nothing like I had ever seen before, her usual pretty smile had been traded in for a kilowatt grin, bunching her rosy cheeks and narrowing her soft brown eyes.

"That singer! You know- the one with the hair and the face! Ah, what's his name? From that band!"

"Matty!" Answered Indra- seemingly a friend of a friend of a friend- who had bounded up to our table in the time Alice had been freaking out, practically hyperventilating. "The. Matty Healy!"

"That's who!" Alice exclaimed and was nodding away excitedly now, whilst I simply sat frozen, drink halfway to my lips.

"Didn't you interview him?" Indra queried suddenly, her eyes as wide as saucers whilst her gaze flitted back and forth between me and the bar at an impossible pace.

Shakily, I set my glass down.

"You did?" Ronan piped up beside me. I swallowed thickly before turning my head towards him, then back towards the two girls, who were anxiously waiting on my reply.

"Uh, yeah." It felt as though I’d forced the words out of my mouth. A ball of cotton having replaced my tongue.

"Oh, Mouse! Introduce us, would you? Please!" Alice all but squealed imploringly.

My alarmed eyes flickered back to Ronan again, then Indra, and then Alice.

My mouth had never felt so dry as I tried my best to ground myself, to get over the sudden, unexpected headfuck that had sent my mind reeling.

"Ah, I don't know, Al. It's, well. I-" I really did struggle to find the right words that could possibly get me out of this entire situation, but before I even knew what was happening, Indra was already reaching for me and pulling me up out of the booth.

Alice jumped up to join her and patted my sleeve eagerly before proceeding to try and drag me away. Ronan, thank the stars, reached out to stop them just in time, tugging on the hem of my jacket and shooting the two girls a sharp look.

"Oi, you two. Behave, will yer? You didn't even give her the chance to answer."

Alice looked up and flashed me a sheepish grin, "Sorry, hun."

Feeling sheepish and rather relieved, really, to be freed from all the clawing hands, I waved her apology off, knowing Ali was only just drunk and excited. "It's fine, just- I think I'm better off heading home now in truth. You know, I've got Teddy to think about."

Both of the girls' disappointment was overwhelmingly obvious, but they didn't push it any further, simply nodded and tried to smile as best as they could.

"No worries, Mouse. You get on home, babe. Sorry again."

"Wait, you're not actually leaving, are you?" Ronan questioned suddenly, causing me to cast a glance over at him. He was frowning now, that much was obvious from the deep set line rapidly forming between his bushy brows. "It's not 'cause of that tosser, is it?"

Immediately, I felt myself shake my head, already knowing that the lie would taste bitter in my mouth.

"Ah, come off it! Stay for another round at least." Ronan goaded me, moving to stand with the girls, his hand still on my elbow though.

"Nah, I'd best head home, Ro. I don't want to be dealing with a hangover as well as a screaming toddler tomorrow morning." I insisted with a lighthearted chuckle, I gifted him an apologetic smile whilst fishing out my phone to call a cab.

It wasn't even late yet, just gone eleven, and there was an unread text from Finn demanding that I have some fun. I gave a heavy sigh.

"Don't be like that, babe. Come on, one more drink and I'll even walk you home." Ronan raised a brow just as he jutted out his jaw and smiled.

It was tempting but...

I laughed lightly and shook my head. "Honestly, Ro-"

But the man wouldn't hear it. "Come on, ladies. Help me out here!" He implored to both of the girls standing either side of him now, the way he towered them was almost funny.

Indra giggled just as Ronan wrapped his strong arms around her and Alice, shaking them a little. Alice simply rolled her eyes at him in amusement, but pulled away slightly to squeeze my hand.

"It's up to you, M. You know we love seeing you, but I can call you a cab if you really want to head off now."

I could only smile at her and silently questioned why we didn't spend more time together outside of the group. I could easily recall Finn saying something or other about a pottery class the two of them had attended the previous weekend and wondered if that would be something I might enjoy.

"I'll be fine, babe. Thank you, though." I told her kindly, before turning to face Ronan. "You enjoy the rest of your night, alright? I'll text you when I've made it back."

"Mouse..." Ronan groaned unhappily, "Just one more drink. For me?"

I shook my head and tugged my jacket further around my body as I stepped away from the trio, patting down my pockets to make sure that I did have everything I needed.

"I'll come out again, soon." I promised them, but tried to aim my words at the frowning redhead as I continued to back away. "You can hold me to it."

Ronan worked his jaw before he nodded curtly, and I sighed to myself before spinning on my heel to hastily make my exit.

Only, it didn't quite happen like that of course, because, of all the people, in all the world, I just had to bump right into none other than Matty.

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rasby · 7 months

Text

M6 and what tattoos i think they would have

Asra

• I can see them having a tramp stamp

• And it's definitely something bad and cringy like "GRL PWR" with little coulds and starts around, maybe a unicorn

• They think it's funny

• I can also see him with a full back tattoo, like really nicely done, every line has a story and a meaning type tattoo

• He's sentimental like that

• For afab Asra, i definitely see them tattooing their top surgery scars, not to hide them but to exaggerate them and bring more attention to them

• Bonus points if they did some tattoos himself

Nadia

• Ok, Nadia either has a little ankle tattoo, nothing too big or too meaningful

• OR she had a full sleeve done and plans to do more

• I don't think her tattoos would have too much meaning behind it besides the fact that they would resemble Prakra and it's culture in some way

• I think she just likes the way they would look on her

• Consider, modern AU biker Nadia, fully tatted out. Yes? Yes.

Julian

• Julian...is tricky

• Because i for sure see him having a big chunk of his body fully tatted out

• Maybe not a full sleeve like Nadia, but definitely a forearm, shoulder or a part of his leg

• And every detail has a meaning, obviously

• He has like a short poem or meaningful quote from an artist he likes on his thigh also

• But

• I also see him waking up hungover one day with hello kitty tattooed on his buttcheek for some reason

• He doesn't know how it got there. He doesn't know WHY it got there. He doesn't even know who did it

• Lowkey really likes it

Portia

• I don't see Portia wanting a lot of tattoos

• She does a few small ones at first, just so she can say she did it

• (They're all cat themed)

• And you really have to look for them yk, they're not in an obvious place

• But after some time, maybe she'll want a few more

• She gets some flowers and gives them meaning

• One for her home, her blood family, her adopted family, her partner...

• It's still nothing huge, but now she can look at it and feel warm inside

• Also, will 100% ask MC to get matching tattoos with her

Muriel

• He doesn't have any

• He doesn't see the point

• They hurt to get, they don't serve a bigger purpose, they require time and money and they bring more attention to him and his body

• Safe to say, he's out

• The only way i can see him having any tattoo is if Asra somehow got a hold of a tattoo gun and pestered him about it

• Even then i don't think it would be anything big

• Maybe like a little smiley face, somewhere unnoticeable

• He says he forgot about it and doesn't care but he looks at it every day before he takes a shower and smiles

Lucio

• Also has a cringy tramp stamp like Asra but he unironically likes it

• In general, i think most his tattoos are stupid

• He has one on his pubic area that says "blow here" with an arrow pointing down

• And a lip tattoo with MCs name

• ...you'll have to beg him to get rid of any of those

• He wants other tattoos, he really does!

• They're really cool and if he has anything it's time and money!

• But he always gets bored during appointments and some of them really hurt so he just leaves half way through, leaving his tattoo unfinished

• If anyone asks or comments on it he says something like "you wouldn't understand my artistic mind" or he would make up a story behind each one

• But in all honesty...even he forgot what he was trying to do and he doesnt wanna go finish it so he just kinda...has a half assed tattoo on his rib

• And yes, his first big tattoo was on his rib, the most painful place he could've chosen. It's Lucio, he didn't think much about it

• Will also ask MC for a matching tattoo, as long as it isn't too big

These are all just my HCs, if anyone wants to disagree and/or add on, please feel free!! (I also apologize if there are any spelling mistakes lol)

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aristotlecoyote · 9 days

Note

i'm sorry you aren't able to pay for watcher's new service. it was a tough decision for me too - i'm unemployed right now and had to look at my savings and decide to skip on buying a few things - but in the end i chose to support them. there are fans sharing accounts and gifting subs. some people in the fandom want to help with solutions but you can't hear them over everyone blaming watcher for suddenly being in the 1% somehow?? (they're not) this is still in beta mode so we all need to take a breath and see what they announce after seeing the feedback. but watcher didn't ruin the economy and make it so hard for people to get welfare and help - you need to contact some government officials for that - not shane's wife

You are fundimentally missing the point. And why are you feeding a problem when they have clearly show they dont respect their fans with their silence, and their employees and spouses snide comments.

The watcher hate train that you think is clouding my thoughts simply isnt. I look at other fans to see if i my perception is more then just automatic frustration. And its not. I think alot. I get heated when i feel theres injustice. But i think through every single thing in this situation for flaws in my own logic because i know people like you will say i am blowing out of proportion. dont patronize me with those arguements.

Yeah governement stuff isnt their fault but they know where the world is. Or atleast they should and they are choosing to bleeding their fans dry. I never said they were the 1% but they are rich. Being rich doesnt automatically put you in the 1 percent but it does give you a leg up to being safe.

I took a breath. I took a whole breath today and lived my life on an extremely small trip on a train. To get free samples from an event with a discounted ticket. I bought a single nice thing that i wanted and for the first time in three days i didnt think about this shit show.

I wanted to support them but seeing as they dont care that they are making

1. A bad decision that everyone except people like you can see

2. Using a base platform that is notoriously unfriendly to creators

3. Didnt respect their fans enough to do market research and give us a finished product or a timeline for things moving forward

4. Act like they are drowning while they are on a yacht. And show that yacht to the people they kicked out of a lifeboat. Then blame us for needing to get a slightly smaller yacht. (This is an analogy)

Its not the same.

3 shows i like is not worth. 6 dollars.

I dont want Sara rubin's fucking help. I am saying she is showing the reality. That these people dont care. Its a common fact of todays world that very few youtubers actually care. That you giving them 6 dollars for a thing that has never worked in the long term unless years of effort and research is put into it. And you are on unemployment? I dont know.

You are the ones that dont see the reality.

But like i said in my post. I respect that humans can do whatever they want. I just think you should think and ask questions and when you dont get clear answers. Wonder why.

All of this mess is something you need to watch before you jump.

I simply chose to step away from the cliff because i saw sharks in the water.

EDIT: some parts in this feel unfinished. I am tired and working on very little sleep because of how my brain has chosen to process this situation. I wont update this post with corrections unless someone can give me a hard reason to.

#the vessel speaks #watcher #watcher entertainment #wearewatcher #feeding the beast that bit you wont stop it from biting you again

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booboodaddysblog · 3 months

Text

Illusory hope

Warning: smut, p in v, betrayal, fight, blood, gun, almost death, tying, crying

Words: 6781

Patience... some people have none, and some have it in excess. Patience also has a connection with loneliness and hope. Is it worth it to hope that someday things will be as we would like them to be?

- I can't stand it! - Colin paced around the social room holding his hair almost pulling it out - I can't stand it any longer like this!

- Dude, what's the matter with you? Is it about that girl from the hotel? You've been talking only about her for a long time - a policeman named Kevin was sitting at the table. He was looking at Colin's behavior - You would stop doing these laps already, it makes me sick - he said biting into his sandwich.

- I don't care about your sandwich - he said, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting down at the table.

- You would focus on your work, not on some girl out there - he said with his mouth full.

- What do you know! You have, a wife and three children. You don't have to worry about your social life anymore.

- You're right, I don't have to. I have it good, hot lunches, sandwiches for work, coffee in a thermos when I go to work in the field. I'm seriously not complaining. Only the kids could be quieter sometimes. Then it would be perfect - he laughed - Do you miss sex, man? Somehow you're so nervous.

- Of course I miss it. Self-pleasure in the shower is not the same as with a woman.

- And any one-time actions? You've had a few recently, right?

- How do you know? - Colin furrowed his eyebrows.

- This town is very small, and the police station is even smaller. What was her name? That last girl, Lana? - He laughed out loud.

- This is already too much, I do not like that you have such information about me - he got up from the table and put the cup in the dishwasher.

- Well, you know, I'm not the only one who knows this. Still the guys from ...

- Stop, I don't give a shit what anyone says about me. Focus better on your work, not on gossip. That sounds like jealousy - he showed him his tongue and went to his office.

Kevin stared for a moment at the door with which Colin had just disappeared. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating his sandwich.

Colin rushed into the office and sat down at his desk. He booted up the computer and the archives.

"Search: Hotel Cortez"

- Maybe there is an unresolved case - he said to himself.

He scrolled through the documentation and came across two unfinished cases.

"Missing tourists from Colorado. Not found."

"Young couple from Texas. Not found.”

He quickly ran out of his office and ran to Mare.

Without knocking, he entered her office.

- Mare, Mare! I need a search warrant for the Hotel Cortez, right now! - he leaned against her desk and smiled broadly.

Mare looked at him silently, crooking with displeasure.

- This is why such an invention as the door was created. To give people at least some privacy and silence. Start knocking, Zabel. You're starting to annoy me more and more - she returned to her reading.

- Mare, I'm sorry, but I'm so excited that I completely forgot to knock. I'm sorry - he sat down - Mare please, I need it, it's urgent.

- Hotel Cortez? After all, we gave up on these things a long time ago. If I remember correctly, there were two.

- Yes, exactly two. A female tourist and a married couple. Both cases involve disappearances. I have read that the basement and catering facilities were left out during the search. Why?

- That was four years ago. You were not here then. These rooms were left out because there was some big party in the hotel. There was a lot going on in the kitchen. We didn't want to make a fuss.

- And the basement? - He asked curiously.

- There was a renovation there and a lot of dust. We gave up and said that we would return to the subject when it was quieter in the hotel.

- But you didn't come back.

- Exactly. And what about this, Mr. Detective?

- I want to search the basement of the hotel - he said excitedly.

- Alone?

Colin looked at Mare for a moment, thinking.

- Okay, you come to me with such enthusiasm, you almost tear my door out of the frames, and now you don't know what you really want? You can go crazy with you! - she rolled her eyes - don't you have anything to say? Just come out and let me work - she pointed to the door - there is a door there and please close it gently.

- Oh no, Mare! I really know what I want. Don't make me leave because I'm silent for a few seconds - he said exasperatedly.

- That was one second too long - she sighed.

- Okay! Yes, I want to go alone. I'll take the gun, I don't know why but I'll take it. Just to feel safe. Can you get me that search warrant? Please - he smiled as broadly as he could.

Mare stared at him. She shook her head in displeasure and dialed the number.

- Good morning, boss, I want to ask permission to write a search warrant for the Hotel Cortez, again. Yes, exactly the two uncompleted cases. Of course. Zabel, he wants to go alone - Mare covered the phone and turned to Colin - When do you want to go?

- Today, if it’s possible.

- He says he wants to go today. Yes sir, I will have the relevant documents prepared. Thank you, boss.

- And? - Asked Colin nervously spinning in his chair.

- Yes, you have the approval. At 11:00 come to me for both warrants.

- I need as many as two warrants? - He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

- Of course! Is this the first time you work in the police? You need a separate warrant for each case. There are two, which means two warrants. Get out of here. I have a lot of work - she pointed to the door again.

- Okay, see you later. Thanks.

Colin walked contentedly down the corridor, smiling from ear to ear. In his head he was already laying out a plan of action. What he would say, how he would act. He just hoped that the hotel owner would react and respond the way he would like. That is, he would cooperate with him.

- Dude, there's really something wrong with you. I think you need a vacation - Kevin snapped him out of his reverie.

- And you need a diet and a gym - Colin rebuked him.

- Not true! My wife says I look sexy!

- Maybe he needs glasses - he added, entering his office. And he was already about to close the door....

- I'm about to punch you in that beautiful face, Zabel!

Colin leaned out into the corridor.

- I don't advise it, I don't want you to cry, or worse, lose your job - he laughed and closed the door.

He expected Kevin to burst into his office and say something else, but that didn't happen. He laughed under his breath and set about putting together an action plan for the day.

He couldn't wait to see the woman who had been in his head all along again. It had been two months since their last meeting. Two months too long. Of course, he remembers that she asked him not to speak to her again... It's not that easy. He became very attached to her. He felt comfortable in her company. He missed it. He didn't get his hopes up that it would be more than a brief conversation. He just wanted to see her and make sure she was okay. Let's hope he wouldn’t regret it.

——————————-

It was approaching 11:00 a.m. He picked up his things and documents. He went to the bathroom, fixed his hair and smiled at his reflection in the mirror.

- You can do it, you're the best! - he sighed loudly.

He took his coat and briefcase with documents. He locked his office and went to Mare to get the warrants. This time he knocked on her door.

- May I? - He opened the door.

- Yes, it's nice of you to ask. Maybe there will still be something from you. Here are your documents. Take care and if something happens call - she smiled.

- I hope it won't be necessary. But thanks. See you tomorrow, Mare - he put the documents in his briefcase and left.

————————

He arrived at the hotel quickly, parked in the nearest parking lot and headed for the hotel. He nervously swallowed his saliva and fixed his hair. He felt himself getting hot. He stopped in front of the entrance wondering if he was doing the right thing. Finally, he entered the hotel. With a slow step, he headed toward the reception desk. He looked around the hall. There was no one in the lobby. He looked nervously behind him, it seemed to him that someone was watching him. He approached the reception desk. There was no one here either. He rang the bell a few times. He heard a noise and some conversation in the next room. A woman looked out and smiled broadly at him.

- Good morning, how can I help you? Do you have a reservation? - she said looking at the stranger, although she thought she had seen him before.

- Good morning. I don't have a reservation. I came here about the disappearance of four people.

- Ah, you are from the police.

- Yes, Detective Colin Zabel. I have a warrant to search the hotel again - he reached into his briefcase and pulled out the relevant documents. He placed them in front of her.

- I understand, however, I am not so competent to give you any information. Please wait, I will contact the owner of the hotel. He will give you answers to all your questions. I'll be right back - she returned to the room she had left earlier.

Colin looked around the lobby again. The first time he'd been here, he hadn't had a chance to explore. The hotel would be lavishly decorated, with lots of gold and large crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The owner had taken care of the smallest detail.

He sat down on the couch and breathed deeply. Suddenly he jumped up, frightened.

- Good morning, Mr. Detective… Zabel. If I'm not mistaken - a man dressed in a smart suit was standing in front of him. He was smoking a cigarette and looked at him with superiority.

- Good morning - he got up from the couch and held out his hand toward him to greet him - Colin Zabel, detective.

- I understand - he looked at his hand, but did not shake it, only smiled artificially - James Patrick March, I am the owner of this hotel. How can I help you, Mr. Detective - he inhaled his cigarette and blew the smoke in Colin's direction.

- Hmm... - he moved away from James and looked at him angrily - I came to resume the case of four missing persons. Who are believed to have disappeared on the grounds of your hotel. I have warrants to search again - he handed him the documents.

James looked at the warrants, then again at Colin and again at the warrants. He inhaled heavily on his cigarette and let out the smoke loudly. Then he inhaled again and let the smoke out through his nose. He shook his head with disapproval. He returned his eyes to his interlocutor.

- Yes... yes... it's really interesting - he handed the documents back to Colin - very interesting. Just curious about one thing, namely. What is the real reason for your arrival at my hotel? I know perfectly well who you are, Mr. Colin - he smiled mockingly.

- I don't know you and I see you for the first time with my eyes. The only information I have about you is that you are the owner of this beautiful hotel.

- Truly fascinating. But it seems to me that you know a lot more. Since you are so secretive, I will tell you who you are. You are the would-be lover of the lady of my heart. My bird in a golden cage. Please don't think I'm stupid. I saw through you right away - he stabbed him in the chest with his finger - I do not agree with the nonsense you come here with. And, of course, I know that this is just an excuse to meet Roberta, by chance - he inhaled his cigarette again - please leave the premises of my hotel. You know perfectly well where the exit is.

- Unfortunately, you cannot refuse. If there is a warrant, you cannot object. Please allow me to carry out these activities. Otherwise, the FBI will step in and the hotel will be closed for the search. And I do not guarantee that it will be open again. Your choice - Colin clenched his hands nervously on the briefcase. He was starting to get hot. He stated that he would still say something - I would also like to confirm your words regarding Roberta. Yes, I was hoping to meet her and ask her how she is, if it's not a problem - he swallowed his saliva loudly.

- This is not quite what I wanted to hear, but I will go back to the first part of your statement and summarize. You are threatening me, Mr. Zabel. I don't like it because I am not being threatened. You should have known that before you crossed the threshold of this building. Please leave this hotel.

- No.

- No… no... Well, we'll talk differently - He grabbed Colin by the sleeve of his coat and pulled him toward the room near the reception desk, locked the door behind them - Lizzie, watch that stupid boy. The poor guy doesn't know who he's messing with.

Colin looked confused, not knowing what was going on. He looked at Lizzie. He wanted to look at James again, but the latter had disappeared somewhere.

- What's going on?

- I think you have a problem, the boss doesn't like it when someone contradicts him. But I won't say anything more.

- I don't understand why I was locked up here.

Lizzie sat down on a chair and took a book in her hand.

Colin looked around the room. There were lots of bookshelves, a few cabinets and a glass display case with the keys to the hotel rooms. There was also a second door. He walked over to it and grabbed the handle.

- I don't advise it and they are closed anyway. Besides, there isn't even anything that interesting there - Lizzie said without lifting her eyes from the book.

- Let me out of here, please. I'll leave the hotel and never come back again - he said in a pleading tone.

- I have no say in the matter.

Suddenly the door to the reception side opened.

- Follow me, Mr. March invites you upstairs - a maid entered the room.

- I'm not going anywhere. Please let me out of this building! - shouted Colin.

- I don't think so. Please follow me - she moved so that he could pass - if you cooperate, Mr. March will not harm you.

- Harm?!

- Oh, please forgive me, sometimes I don't think before I say something - she laughed nervously.

- I'm not going anywhere - he stopped at the reception desk.

- Mr. March asked me to tell you that Mrs. Roberta is waiting upstairs.

- I don't know if I can believe that - he furrowed his eyebrows.

- Oh, Mr. March never lies. Please follow me.

Colin said no more. He moved behind the unknown woman. They entered the elevator and went to the 5th floor. The woman smiled warmly at him, he did not reciprocate it. The elevator stopped and they stepped out into the corridor. They stopped in front of a door that said:

"SERVICE ROOM"

- Feel free to come inside - she smiled warmly at him again.

He turned his head in her direction, but she was gone. He was alone. He pressed the door handle and went inside. The room was dark. The door closed behind him with a quiet click. He tried to fumble for the button to turn on the light on the wall. Suddenly he felt a sharp headache and almost fell. He was hit on the head with a blunt instrument.

- What's going on! Who is here?! - he shouted still trying to find the light switch. Under his fingers he felt the handle. He pressed on it. The door was closed.

Again he felt the impact, this time he lost consciousness and fell inertly to the ground.

He woke up with a sharp headache. He was all achy. He opened his eyes, the light was on. He looked around the room. There were racks of clean linens and towels. There was a chute in the wall for dirty laundry. He tried to get up from the chair, but was tied. His hands were tied behind his back and his legs to the legs of the chair. He looked at the floor and saw a blood stain. He didn't know if it belonged to him. He licked his lips and felt the taste of blood on his tongue. He had dried blood under his nose.

- Hello, is anyone there! Hello! Someone free me! - he tried to cry out for help, but to no avail. He sighed loudly and closed his eyes.

- I think your screams will be of no use. No one will hear you. These walls are soundproof - James approached the wall and stroked it proudly - ah, my greatest creation.

- Let me out - said Colin in a calm voice.

- I don't know if this is a good idea - James walked up to him and forced Colin to look at him - be cultured and look at me when I'm talking to you - he waved the hammer in front of his nose - I really liked this tool, it's really effective.

- What do you want to do with me?

- I wanted to play, just like you played with the lady of my heart. Did you have fun?

- I only kissed her. Nothing more happened - he answered again in a calm voice. He knew there was no point in shouting.

- You just kissed her... just kissed her... just! Or maybe, not just! - hit him in the face with the fist. His head sprang back and he felt blood pouring from his nose again. He also felt blood in his mouth. He hung his head trying to control the pain. He watched his blood drip onto the floor.

- Why are you doing this to me? Is it all because I didn't want to leave your hotel? - He spat out the blood. The puddle was getting bigger and bigger.

- You messed with the wrong man my boy. Didn't Roberta ask you the previous time not to come here again? Are you stupid? Don't you understand what is being said to you? - James punched him in the face again. Colin spat blood on the floor in silence.

- Why don't you try to fight? Have you given up? - James laughed out loud - silence is your greatest weapon? - he walked closer to Colin and unbuttoned his coat, looking into his pockets - wallet, police badge, pen, some papers... just junk... - he unbuttoned his coat more - oh please what we have here - he was pleased to see a gun under his arm. He unbuckled the gun and pulled it out - a beautiful toy - he looked at the gun from all sides and weighed it in his hand - perfectly balanced. Your private toy?

- Yes, private - he spat out blood again.

- I like it - he opened the magazine and began to enumerate - one in the right foot, the second in the left foot, the third in the thigh, straight in the artery, the fourth... hmm... let me think - he scratched his chin in thought - let it be in your dick, although you will never need it again anyway, but it's better not to risk it. Well the last one... right on the forehead - he laughed out loud - I will be kind and not let you suffer for a long time. Appreciate my kindness - he approached Colin and stroked his head - well then where was it? - he pointed the gun at his right foot.

Colin closed his eyes waiting for the pain.

- Mr. March? Should I clean up already? - The maid entered the room carrying a bucket of water and a cloth.

- Mrs. Evers! What am I telling you all the time! I will inform you when something needs to be cleaned! Please get out of here! - he shouted at her pointing a gun at her.

- Ah Mr. March, I would give my life for you again!

- Please get out of here! Immediately!

- Excuse me - she walked out.

- What do you mean "again"? - puzzled Colin.

- Silence!

- This is interesting.

- Boy, you're digging yourself a grave - James pointed the gun at the towel rack and fired. A loud bang sounded and several towels and pieces of wood fell to the ground - I wasted one precious bullet - he rolled his eyes.

- Maybe somehow we can get along? - Colin tried to save his situation.

———————

Roberta heard a knock on the door to her room.

- Please come in - she said putting down her book - Lizzie, welcome!

- Honey, you won't believe it! - Lizzie quickly ran up to her.

- What's going on? - Roberta noticed the terror in her eyes.

- Colin!

- What Colin?

- What do you mean what Colin?! Roberta! - grabbed her hands and forced her to get up from the couch.

- Oh God! What is he doing here?! Where is he?! - she started pacing nervously around the room.

- He is with James.

- With James?! Oh God! Where is he?! Speak up! - grabbed Lizzie by the shoulders and shook her.

- They are on the fifth floor in the bedding warehouse. I don't know if Colin is still alive. I was at the door and eavesdropped. I heard the sound of a gunshot - Lizzie covered her face with her hands.

Roberta fell to her knees and burst into tears. Lizzie came up from her and tried to help her get up. Her legs refused to obey.

- Roberta! Get up, we have to go and save him! Maybe it's not too late! Maybe he's alive! - she grabbed her hand. They ran out of the suite and headed for the elevator.

- Faster, faster! - cried Roberta.

- It's here! - They entered the elevator - Fifth floor!

- I'm about to pass out, I'm weak! Lizzie... - Roberta leaned against the glass wall of the elevator and hugged her cheek to the cold mirror.

- Breathe, breathe...

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor. This time they walked slowly and quietly. They didn't want to make any noise in case James was still with Colin. They walked up to the door and started listening. The room was quiet.

- I'm going in - said Roberta - I have to see if he's there - she pressed the handle and carefully pushed the door open.

- Be careful - whispered Lizzie.

Roberta went inside and was horrified by what she found. In the middle of the room stood a chair, and on it sat Colin. He was tied up. His head was hanging down and he was unconscious, or maybe dead. There was blood all around him. The floor and his clothes, blood everywhere. There was no one else in the room. She was afraid to approach him, afraid to touch him to see if he was alive. She was terrified. Tears flowed into her eyes again. On shaky legs, she approached Colin slowly. She walked around him, looking at him closely. His chest was moving slightly, he was breathing, still alive. She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder.

- Colin... Colin... dear... - she poked him lightly, he did not respond - what he did to you… I would kill him if I could - her breath hitched - Colin, I beg you to wake up - she knelt down in front of him. She grabbed his cheeks and lifted his head. His whole face was battered and bruised. He was covered in blood - oh God, Colin - she wept loudly.

Colin felt and heard that someone was by his side and someone was touching him. But all this was like through a fog. He felt weak, did not have the strength to move or even open his eyes. The touch he felt was different from before, he did not feel pain. This touch expressed concern, it was gentle. He felt tears flowing into his eyes. He felt his body trembling, as if to let him know to gather his strength and let him know he was alive, to open his eyes, to lift his head and look at the person in front of him.

He slightly lifted his eyelids and noticed hands resting on his thighs, he knew those hands. He closed his eyes again and raised his head. He opened his eyes and saw....

- Are you an angel? Did I die? - he said in a whisper.

- No - she laughed - it's me, Roberta. You're still alive - she started crying again.

- Roberta... that is, an angel after all - this was the sight he had waited so long for.

- Colin ... what he did to you ... - she stroked his cheek.

- Can you untie me? Please... - he smiled slightly.

- Ah, yes, I forgot. Wait - she went towards the door - Lizze, help me, quickly! He is alive!

- Holy God! - the only thing she was able to say. She stood shocked.

- Move! Soak some towels in warm water - Roberta grabbed a knife and started cutting the ropes.

- I’ve got them - she approached them with a towel.

- Start wiping his face, just gently - Roberta was still trying to cut the ropes.

Colin slowly stretched his hands in front of him and rested them on his thighs. They were purple and he had practically no feeling in them. He tried to straighten up in the chair, but he was too sore. He felt that his legs were also freed.

Roberta grabbed a wet towel and began to wipe his face. He closed his eyes and drew in the air loudly. It hurt, but not that much.

- I'm sorry, I know it hurts you. I try to do it gently - said Roberta.

- I'll be fine.

- I know - she felt herself wanting to cry again - it will be fine, I promise.

Colin opened his eyes and stared at her, following her every move. Her makeup was smudged from crying, but she still looked beautiful.

- I missed you - he whispered.

- You'd better keep quiet - she laughed.

- I know... I shouldn't have come here... - he sighed - but I had to.

- What you did... that was the stupidest idea you could have come up with - she stepped away from him for a moment to wet another towel. He didn't take his eyes off her.

- I know that too... but it was worth it. I can see you again - he smiled weakly.

- You are really stupid - sighed Roberta returning to washing his face.

- It's a fact, but when someone is in love, he can do anything. Regardless of whether he can survive it or not - he touched her thigh and gently stroked it.

Roberta did not respond to his words. Tears were dripping down her cheeks, she was unable to stop them.

- Come on - she gave him a hand - stand up... slowly.

Colin got up slowly, but felt he was about to fall. His body was not cooperating with him. He leaned on Roberta to keep from falling.

- Let's go, you need to lie down - they started walking slowly to the exit - Lizzie, don't stand there, help me. He is heavy.

- I've lost weight recently, I don't have time to eat properly - he laughed.

- You look very good - said Lizzie.

- Thank you.

They went into the nearest room by the bedding storage. They laid Colin down on the bed. He closed his eyes relishing the softness of the bed.

- You can go now, I'll take care of him - Roberta said to Lizzie.

- If you need anything, call me, I'll be where I usually am.

- Thanks.

She walked over to Colin and looked at his bruised face. He had a cut on his eyebrow arch, cheek and mouth in several places. He still looked very good.

- Don't you know it's not nice to stare like that? - he laughed.

- I guess I don't know.

- That's what you know now, but I'm letting you stare.

- We have to undress you. You're all dirty - she sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over him. She loosened his tie and took it off over his head. She began to undo the buttons of his shirt. With her fingertips she lightly touched his warm skin.

- That's nice - he said, not taking his eyes off her - look at me - he grabbed her gently by the chin and lifted her head - why do you hurt to look at me?

- I'm remorseful... all of this... James... it's all my fault. I'm sorry - a single tear dripped down Colin's bare torso - he could have killed you.

- It's not your fault. He messed me up pretty good, but I'm alive. I don't know why he left and didn't kill me.

- What do you mean he left? - Roberta got curious.

- He just walked out without saying a word and left me. I don't remember much. When he left I was already on the verge of losing consciousness. The only thing I remember is that he took my gun with him.

- Another one for the collection... - she whispered.

- Excuse me?

- Nothing. I'll take off your pants now - she began to undo his belt.

- Do you have something for me to change into? Or are you leaving me like this?

- I'll find something. You should take a nap.

- I don't want to. I've already lost too much time - he grabbed her hand when she wanted to leave - stay with me - he pulled her to him.

- Colin... I can't! - she squealed.

Colin pulled her on top of him and hugged her tightly.

- I missed - he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent.

Roberta raised her head and looked at him.

- And do you know what I missed?

- I don't know.

- This - she kissed him gently on the lips - it hurts?

- A little, but I can bear it - he pulled her to him and kissed her.

Roberta entwined her hands in his hair. He hugged her tightly, as if he was afraid she would escape him.

- What about... - he interrupted the kiss - you know....

- James?

- Yes.

- He's not 100% faithful to me either - she kissed him again, this time more greedily, but still gently. She felt a slight taste of blood.

Colin turned them around and was now over her. He leaned on his hands on either side of her head.

- You are so beautiful - he returned to the kiss.

He started kissing her jaw and went down to her neck, collarbone....

- May I? - He asked while grabbing the strap from her bra.

- I think you feel better already - she laughed.

- Yes, that's right - he slipped off her bra strap and kissed her body as if he was hungry.

He felt no pain. Her presence acted on him like painkillers. He felt he was alive again. But he knew that he would not be happy all the time. This joy was only for a while. He wanted to get as much as he could.

He slipped off her bra and looked at her breasts.

- Wow - he parted his lips in delight - beautiful.

He leaned over and took her nipple into his mouth. He sucked it and gently kissed it. Roberta's back arched and she sighed loudly. She grabbed his hair.

He continued the sweet torture with his mouth, and his hands wandered under her dress. He stroked her thighs heading higher and higher. He touched her panties with his fingers.

- God, you are so wet. After all, I haven't done anything yet, wow.

- Shut up and continue! - She pulled him by his hair upwards and kissed him on the lips again.

With his fingers, he pushed aside her wet panties and slipped them between her wet, swollen lips. He spread her sweet juices and massaged her pleasure button.

- Colin! Ah... I want more! - she bit him on his lips.

- Ough! That hurts! - He kissed her hard and slipped one finger inside her.

- Colin! - she moaned loudly.

He slid into her again and again feeling her tremble at his every move. How she tightened her grip on his finger.

- Enough - she whispered in his ear - I want you inside me - she bit his ear.

- Now? - He slid his other finger inside her.

- Yes!

Without pulling his fingers out of her, he slipped his boxers off with his other hand and pushed her dress higher.

He spread her thighs apart and removed his fingers from her. Roberta moaned. She felt an emptiness, she wanted to feel full again.

- Fuck me! Colin! - She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her.

- As you wish.

He began rubbing against her hot entrance and unexpectedly slid inside her. Piece by piece, allowing her to get used to his length. They both parted their lips and stared at each other with wide-open eyes.

- Oh fuck, you're amazing! - they said simultaneously.

Roberta grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss.

Colin began to move. Slowly at first, he felt he didn't have as much energy as he wanted. But after a while, he felt his energy returning with every movement of his hips. He delved deep into her. He felt warmth and a pleasant wetness. His dick was in paradise. He could feel Roberta clamping down on him, could feel her trembling beneath him. He felt that she was getting closer and closer to fulfillment. He also felt wonderful. They kissed greedily without being able to take their hands off each other. Roberta hugged him tightly to her.

- I can't stand it any longer! Colin! - she was all trembling.

- Let's do it together!

They both screamed into each other's mouths reaching their fulfillment. Colin sank down on top of her breathing heavily.

Roberta laughed.

- Why are you laughing? - Colin raised his head and looked into her eyes.

- It was amazing. I think it was from happiness.

He smiled broadly at her.

- Well, well, well... what I see here. Fascinating.

Roberta and Colin sat frightened on the bed and looked around the room. Twilight reigned and not much could be seen.

- James? - whispered Roberta.

- Yes, it's me! You guessed it! Surprise! - James came out of the darkness and stood by the bed. He took out a cigarette case from the inside pocket of his jacket and took out one cigarette. He put it in his mouth and fired it up. He let the smoke out in their direction - are you having fun lovebirds? Without me? Not nice - he shook his head with displeasure.

- Were you here all the time? - Roberta corrected her dress.

- Yes, you guessed again! - he sat down on the edge of the bed - you made beautiful sounds my dearest. This is music to my ears. It must have been very pleasant for you - he inhaled his cigarette - right?

Roberta looked at him in horror and remained silent.

- Would you be so kind and answer my question? That's what culture dictates. Well, there you go, I'm waiting.

Roberta looked at Colin, who tried to cover himself with the quilt, but they were lying on top of it, so had a problem with that.

- Well, I'm waiting - he smiled.

- Yes, it was very pleasant for me.

- Oh, that's great. Just know that this was the last time - he pulled a gun from his pocket and pointed it at Colin.

- What are you doing?! James! You're cheating on me too! Put it away, immediately! - she shouted.

- Don't be ridiculous - he got up from the bed and walked around it coming closer to Colin.

- Boy, oh what were you in for. A moment's pleasure worth dying for? I left you in the storeroom hoping that Mrs. Evers would shove you unconscious into the chute with the dirty sheets and clean up the mess as usual. Of course, it wasn't me who made this all mess, it was you. It was your blood that soiled the floor and the walls - he unholstered the gun with a quiet click - you have no idea how happy she will be to have a little another bedding to wash. I guess it's a hobby for her - he pointed the gun at him and shot him in the arm - perfection!

Colin grabbed his arm and slumped on the bed, screaming and squirming in pain.

- Colin! Oh God! Colin! - she clenched her hand at the site of the gunshot to dam the blood.

- A beautiful sight! I hope I hit the best spot. I love the colour red! - he laughed out loud - have fun! - He threw the gun on the bed, turned around and left the room.

- Fuck, fuck, fuck! What the hell! You said it would be fine! He is mentally ill! Why are you with him?! - Colin said incessantly - It hurts! I can't stand it! Call the emergency room!

- Calm down, calm down, breathe - she tried to calm him down.

- I'm supposed to be calm?! Fuck!

Roberta ran to the phone and I called the front desk.

- Lizzie! Quickly call an ambulance! James has shot Colin! Quickly! - she threw the receiver and ran to the clothes lying on the floor. She pulled the belt out of his pants.

- I'm about to pass out - he said quietly - Roberta....

- Take it easy now, don't fall asleep, look at me - she grabbed his arm and wrapped it with the belt, tightening it tightly - I hope this will help stop the blood... I really hope so - she kissed him on the forehead - Colin stay with me, the ambulance will come soon and they will help you. I promise - she cried.

To be continued…

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