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onlybeeewrites · 4 months

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Meadow's Lullaby

Requests: Yes!

Pairing: Sejanus Plinth x fem!reader, onesided Coriolanus x reader, platonic Lucy Gray x reader

Warnings: none, this is a fluffy one....for now :)

Word count: 1.3K

The Valley Song Series: Part 1 <- -> Part 3

Author's Note: You guys are literally so amazing??? Thank you so much for showing your love for The Valley Song. I came up with this idea and direction so hopefully you all enjoy it. Thank you, lovies! Also once again, because I love Maiah Wynne, the music below is what the reader plays :)) Also this was just so much fun to write

You were a lot shyer than Lucy Gray. That was one of the first things that came to Coriolanus' mind as he watched Lucy Gray pull you over as the performance ended for the night. Maude Ivory had taken your old wooden guitar from you as the rest of the Covey put their instruments away and gathered all the donations from around the Hob.

Your shy and bashful nature had intrigued Coriolanus greatly, but it had with Sejanus as well. He could tell so as his...friend's face got more pink in his cheeks as you neared. A curiosity in his eyes as you neared.

"Y/N, It is finally time for you to meet my boy, Coriolanus Snow. And this is his fine friend, Sejanus," Lucy Gray had introduced them. Her boy, he thought to himself with great distaste. Coriolanus did not belong to anyone, and his little songbird counted. He was not one to be owned. He owned others.

"Y/N here is my older cousin. Just by a year though so it ain't nothing fancy." Lucy Gray said with a laugh, causing you to shyly roll your eyes at your cousin's words. It was clear this wasn't the first time this was brought up in any sort of conversation.

"A pleasure to meet you, Y/N" Coriolanus said with a charming smile and a nod as Lucy Gray let go of her cousin's hand and moved to step beside Coryo, her arm going around his waist.

You gave him a bit of a shy smile as you gave him a nod, "The pleasure is all mine, Coriolanus. I cannot thank you enough for bringing my cousin back to us. I owe you," you chuckled. And even your chuckle was like soft wind chimes; soft.

Sejanus could not help but look to you in some sort of admiration. Even by the look in your eyes, you were gentle kind, and compassionate. Even after all you had been through with losing your family, singing for your dinners, almost losing your cousin...you were still kind. Almost like him.

Your eyes moved to look at him and you could feel your face heating up. He was beautiful. Almost too beautiful, especially to be somewhere like here in District Twelve. You couldn't help but wonder what he had done to be sent there.

"Pleasure to meet you Sejanus.." You say after a moment of almost staring at each other, realizing the silence may have gone on for a little bit too long. In the corner of your eye, you see your cousin smirking at you, glancing up at Coryo as if she had planned this sort of meeting all along.

"Trust me....the pleasure is all mine. You were uh...you were amazing up there by the way," Sejanus said nervously, though the smile stayed on his face.

The bashful smile returned to your lips at his almost too-kind words. "Why thank you. I don't sing on my own very often so I'm pleased you enjoyed it,"

Lucy Gray grinned before remembering. "Oh! I almost forgot. The Covey, we're all making a trip out tomorrow. You both should join us!" she offered.

Coriolanus and Sejanus both shared a look. They both had nothing else to do. So after a moment of sharing a look, Coriolanus smiled slightly and nodded, "We'd love to,"

Lucy Gray almost squealed with excitement, "Oh perfect. You boys are going to love it. Coryo, come by our house by mornin', alright? We'll see you both tomorrow," she said with a grin, taking your hand and rushing back towards the rest of the covey.

You turned and gave them both one last wave and smile before being pulled backstage, leaving the two boys in almost awe: Sejanus being more obvious.

"I can't wait for tomorrow," Sejanus sighed.

When tomorrow finally came, the two boys made it to the small Covey home on the edge of the Seam. And by an hour after sunrise, you all started the hike up to the lake. You lingered behind talking with Barb Azure, listening to Maude Ivory singing and Lucy speaking with Coryo. Halfway through you lingered back, falling back in step with Sejanus.

After hours of hiking, you all made it to the lake and set your things down. The heat was seemingly unbearable, and many of the covey found their way to the lake, aching to cool off their skin with the cold water.

You decided to join them later. Moving to settle under one of the nearby trees, you fixed your old dress before pulling your guitar onto your lap. Your delicate fingers started to string along to the song that Lucy Gray would sing whenever anyone had any nightmares.

As you played you failed to see Sejanus, who was about to join the others in the water before spotting you on your own. He didn't think twice before he made his way over to you, taking a seat a little next to you.

You looked up in surprise, pausing the strumming of the delicate cords. "Sejanus. Sorry, I didn't hear you coming," you add with a smile, flattered and almost happy that out of everything, he wanted to come and sit with you.

"Well I saw you were on your own, figured you could use some company," he used as an excuse, feeling his face warm; though with the heat of the day, it was hard to tell the difference. "What were you playing? I sounded pretty," he then asked.

"Oh, it was just some music I wrote for one of Lucy Gray's songs. She calls it Deep in the Meadow. She usually sings it when Maude Ivory has a nightmare or trouble sleeping. I figured I could add some music to help," you explain, looking at him, flushing as you realize that he never once had taken his eyes off you.

And how beautiful his eyes were. You could see the kindness and admiration, they were captivating and warm. And it all caused a fluttering within your stomach.

"You wrote that all yourself?" He asked in amazement, and as you nodded he gave a small whistle, "That is incredible....could you play something else you wrote?" he asked hopefully before he quickly added in what seemed to be panic, "Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to, I just...your playing is beautiful.."

His words made you grow flustered, but you gave out a small laugh. Something about him allowed you to feel comfortable where you had never felt comfortable before. There were very few people outside the covey that you would do this with, Sejanus may have just been the quickest that you allowed.

"No...no, I don't mind," you quickly reassured him before playing another song you had written, leaving the capital boy silent as he admired the music you had created.

As you both were having your moment, playing him your music, neither of you was aware of the pale eyes that were watching from the water. Coriolanus felt his jaw clench at the sight of them, how Sejanus was able to chat you up about whatever it was.

What were you both talking about? He hated that he didn't know, that he wasn't in the loop, that he couldn't control whatever it was that came from Sejanus' mouth.

Lucy Gray gently climbing onto his back, wrapping her arms around him to keep afloat snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I think they'd make a mighty fine couple, wouldn't you say?" she asked, rather pleased with her match-making skills. Coriolanus on the other hand, wasn't as pleased. But regardless he nodded.

"Hm. She seems a fine match for Sejanus." A fine match was the nicest thing he could come up with as he stared at the few figures underneath the tree.

A fine match with Sejanus would be enough for you now, but he wondered how fine it would be when trouble would eventually find its way back around.

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ghostofwriting · 18 days

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Kildare Split Part Three: Bleach

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Chapter 3: Bleach

Note: Hi! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. Here is Chapter Three, it covers the smau basically up until Rafe blocks Topper. Still no answers on that 💋

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio.

Word Count: 5,343

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter Three: Bleach

That didn’t go how he planned it. He hurt her inconceivable amounts and it’s not going to be easy to get her to forgive him. He needs to work for it, he knows that. Hearing her say that she meant nothing to him when she meant the world to him hurts more than he could have ever imagined. He’s so mad at himself for ever saying those same things to her. He doesn’t deserve her. He knows that too. He’s always been selfish when it comes to her though, he needs her back. He needs to figure out how to talk to her first.

“Let me get this straight, you told her to listen to your album for what?”

“To understand what I’m feeling.”

“Rafe, the girl doesn’t need to understand what you’re feeling, she needs you to apologize to her.” His dad’s voice comes through the speaker. He was getting ready for bed when Ward called.

“The album is like an apology.” He tells his dad like it’s obvious.

“Unless you have a song in that thing that says ‘Y/N I’m sorry,’ for 3 minutes straight, she’s not going to hear it as an apology. She’s going to take it as an excuse.”

“I’m just so ashamed, I don’t know how to approach it.” he stares at the phone screen, a picture of his dad and Wheezie stares back at him.

“I miss you, dad.”

“I miss you too, son. You’ll be home soon and we’ll go golfing, how about that?” Rafe smiles softly.

His relationship with his dad hasn't always been this good. When he chose music over a ‘real’ career, his dad almost disowned him. Y/N had been the one to talk Ward out of it. Giving him a plan that if they didn’t make it in two years, she would drag him back by his ear and make him take over the company. They had to work their asses off but it happened, and Ward had accepted it. It had been a long road, they spent a lot of time not speaking to each other, communicating through Sarah. Ward hadn’t been to a single show before their first album was released. He remembers seeing Ward walk in next to Sarah and feeling his five-year-old self again, prepared to put on the best show for his dad to finally be proud of him. And he was, at the end of the night he hugged Rafe and told him everything he had ever wanted to hear from him. That he was proud of everything he had accomplished, that he was meant to perform, and that he loved him.

And he owed it all to her. It always goes back to her.

“That sounds great, Dad.”

“Have you talked to Sofia about this, you know girls, she might have some insight you don’t.”

“I don’t think Sofia’s up to giving me advice about Y/N.

“Rafe, this is only to get her back as your friend, correct? You and Sof are good?” Ward asks, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah, of course. Sof and I are great.” Denial. Always in denial, Rafe Cameron.

“Okay well, I wish you luck with all of that. Get some rest. I’ll be out in a couple of weeks.”

“Bye Dad, love you,” Ward tells him he loves him too and hangs up.

+++

Kiara of all people tells her to listen to his album. As if everyone else who’s telling her isn’t enough.

“Hold on, I thought I got you in the divorce?” Kie laughs at her joke.

“You did, but I think you should listen to what he has to say.”

“Kie, he hasn’t even apologized in person, why should I?” She’s playing with the thread that’s hanging off of the comforter.

“Because he’s always been better at explaining himself in song.” She says matter of factly.

“This is unbelievable.” Kie groans on the other side of the phone.

“Look, he’s a piece of shit and he was horrible to you. I know that, but god can he write.”

“I know he can. I work with him.”

“Y/N.”

“Kie.” She mocks

“Just listen.” She’s shaking her head and rolling her eyes, glad that Kie can’t see her.

“Okay, whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. What happened between you and jayj?”

“Ha! Nope.” She whines, wanting to know the drama between her two friends.

Sarah walks in with Penny in her arms. They had gone for a walk, Y/N citing vocal rest to skip going out in the rain.

“Vocal rest but you’re talking on the phone?” Sarah calls her out.

“My baby!” Sarah drops the small dog on the hotel bed, Penny running into Y/N’s arms.

“Thanks, Sarah.” She pouts at her.

“So what are we talking about?”

“Trying to get Y/N to listen to ‘Angel.’” Kie’s voice cuts through the speaker.

“Absolutely no use. She won’t.” Sarah says. She nods along agreeing with Sarah.

It’s not that she can’t listen to the album. She doesn’t want to. Why should she care about whatever he said in the album when he can’t tell her directly? The last time they talked he didn’t say sorry, albeit she didn’t let him say sorry with her whole speech she had been internalizing for three years. Even still, if he had just opened with ‘sorry’ she might have been more inclined to listen to his stupid album. She already knew it was about her, what more could she possibly learn?

So why can’t she get the thought of listening to it out of her head? She’s alone now, her dog next to her, sleeping tucked between her pillow and her neck. Sarah went back to her room a few hours ago and Y/N’s been trying to go to sleep to no avail.

So she plays the stupid album that she told Rafe to shove up his ass.

By the end of the album, she’s angry again. It’s great. Of course, it is. It’s him and he’s amazingly talented. Everything he touches turns to gold and she despises him for it. The chord progressions the tempos, the synths. Everything is amazing. Even the stupid lyrics that she wishes she could hate. How dare he be so talented and make her hate him just a fraction less?

The lyrics bother her. ‘I bought a house to live in but you’re the home I’m missin'?’ His fault. ‘I watched the weeks fly by, I’m not myself when you’re not there.’ His fault. Again. ‘I’m not a sentimental guy, I need you in my life.’ Well Rafe Cameron, why do you think she’s not in your life? It’s like he’s trying to hide the fact that he completely obliterated her heart and is pretending that she just walked out on him.

Fuck you, Rafe. You don’t get to pretend.

+++

She hears Topper in the lobby of the hotel. He’s most likely the first one down here, waiting for the rest of them to wake up so they can take the car to the arena.

She stands off to the side, their manager Ash, handing out their backstage badges. She sees Topper take two from Ash out of the corner of her eye.

He extends the badge out to her for her to take and offers her a smile.

“Thanks.” She tells him.

“I know this is probably a long time coming and not the best place to have this conversation but I’m sorry.” She looks at him eyes wide, she tries to hide her shock, a small frown still visible on her face.

“Thanks.” She says again, not knowing how to respond to him.

“I know I’ve been a shitty friend. I didn’t know how to act when everything went down. I knew about Sofia and I felt like I betrayed you. You were so hurt and I didn’t deserve your friendship. I let you isolate yourself and I’m sorry. I should have done better.”

She feels her eyes welling up. She won’t let herself cry. Not where anyone could see them.

“Yeah, you have been shitty.”

“Is it too late for you to forgive me?” She shakes her head, launching herself into his arms. Strangely it feels like coming home. She is finally hugging her best friend again. The guy who used to want to fight anyone who even looked at her wrong.

“I missed you.” she breathes into his shoulder.

“I missed you too, I’m sorry.” She lets go of him sniffling. She sees unshed tears in his eyes too.

“It’s going to take some time for me to trust you, but I’ll work on it.”

“I will get on my knees, beg, and cry if you need me to.” She laughs

“I’ll let you know.”

As soon as the other two arrive, their badges are given to them and they all walk towards the car. She usually opts for sitting in the front ever since everything happened between them. She thinks that this time she can sit next to Topper.

“Hey, Ash?” She calls for her manager's attention, “Mind if you sit in the front this time?” Ash looks at her surprised but nods her head anyway.

“Of course, go.” She motions for Y/N to step into the car, Rafe and Barry look at her questioningly from the very back. She smiles at Topper and sits directly next to him, he offers her one of his airpods and she takes it. He’s listening to something she’s never heard and she doesn’t mind at all. For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t feel like the loneliest person in the car.

Rafe burns holes into the backs of both their heads. What the fuck is going on?

+++

“So are you going down there for your anniversary?” He hears Sarah ask. She and Y/N are getting their lunch.

“Ya, it works out perfectly with the tour ending just in time,” Y/N responds,

“So are you expecting a ring?” His ears perk up at the question, willing everyone around him to shut up so he can hear her answer clearly.

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Y/N has a teasing tone to her voice and he feels like throwing up. He gets up from the table where he’s eating with Barry and Topper. His fork clanged against the plate as he stood up and stormed off. He can’t eat with the bile already rising in his throat. What’s wrong with him?

+++

He notices as Topper and Y/N fool around during their private soundcheck. They’re playing off each other, Y/N messing with his guitar as he sings into her microphone. He notices that it’s a little awkward but it’s better than it has been in years. He gives Barry another questioning look and Barry just shrugs. He makes a note to ask Topper what happened.

“I can’t hear myself in my left ear, I just hear Barry’s excessive screeching,” Y/N speaks into her microphone at one of the sound techs.

“Oh, I’m sorry we can’t all be professionally trained singers, princess.” Y/N scoffs.

“You’re in a band Barry, maybe learn how to sing.”

“Why are you being such a bitch right now?”

“Hey!” Topper yells turning towards Barry, “cut that shit out.” Barry makes a face at Topper but drops it.

“What the fuck is going on with you two?” Rafe asks, done with waiting to ask Topper after soundcheck.

“Just have her back, man.”

“Since when?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Since he apologized, maybe you should learn how to do that.” She purses her lips and instead of being annoyed, he can’t stop thinking about how cute she looks.

“I tried to apologize and all you did was yell at me for 10 minutes.”

“You didn’t try to apologize, Rafe! You tried to get me to listen to your album.”

“If you would have just heard me out.”

“What? I would know that you’re so apathetic it’s pathetic but you need me now? Or how about that you’re down on your hands and knees Beggin' me please, baby.”

“You listened.” He feels a sense of relief overtake him which is quickly washed away by her tone.

“Under duress.”

“What did you think?”

“I think it’s bold to sing songs about me when your girlfriend is ready to marry you.” He wants to deny that any of the songs are about her. It doesn’t work like that. Everyone knows. Instead of denying it or calling her conceited for thinking it’s about her, another question rises up and out of his mouth before he can stop it.

“Are you?”

“What?” She asks, confused. He wants to keep his mouth shut. Why does he need to know anything, why does he want to hurt his feelings so badly?

“Ready to marry him?” Oh, he’s so stupid.

“Yeah.” There is no hesitation in her answer and his heart breaks a little.

“Great.” He says shortly.

“Great.” She turns away from him and back to her microphone, talking to the tech until he gets the volume in her left ear right. He storms off the stage shoving his guitar into Topper’s chest, narrowly missing Topper’s guitar.

+++

“What’s your problem?” They’re waiting to be called to the stage for their second soundcheck with the fans.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You have been insufferable all day, more than usual. I can usually ignore you, I’ve been doing it for a really long time but you’re all pouting and grumbling. What’s wrong with you?”

“How could you forgive Topper and not me?”

“I haven’t forgiven Topper, but he apologized for everything, it’s more than you have ever done.”

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out.

“Rafe. Stop.” She goes to walk away but he grabs her arm, stopping her.

“What? You beg me to apologize and now you don’t want to hear it?”

“I didn’t want to beg you for it, I wanted you to apologize because it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know that I haven’t been a good friend to you. I’ve been so absent from our friendship. I let people get in the way of us and I self-sabotaged and pushed you away.”

“Rafe please.”

“I think that I pushed you away because I couldn’t be with you but I couldn’t be your friend.”

She holds her breath, waiting for what he says next.

“I couldn’t be just your friend because I was in love with you.”

“And I’m stupid okay? I’m the biggest idiot in the entire world for saying the things that I said to you.” He pauses to gauge her reaction. She’s looking directly at him, her gaze not faltering.

“You were never just someone I fucked. You weren’t some girl or someone who didn’t mean anything to me. You are the girl, you mean everything to me. You always have. And I am sorry. I am so sorry that I ever said those things.”

“Why did you?”

“I was terrified. It’s an excuse I know. The way I treated you should have never happened but- I just- I was so scared to ruin our careers and take away what we had been working for since we were practically babies. The work that you put into the band and I was just being so careless with it, I could have ruined everything. I didn’t know how to deal with that and being in love with you and high all the time. I couldn’t do it.”

“You got clean right after.”

“I knew that sabotaging us was the first step to me ruining everything else and I needed to make the sacrifice worth it so I got clean.”

“I’m a sacrifice. You sacrificed our friendship to keep the band but if you had just talked to me we could have decided together. We could have made something work.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” They hear the five-minute to curtain call announcement and Y/N sighs.

“Do you think you could ever forgive me?” He asks her, hopeful.

“I don’t know. You hurt me more than anyone ever has.” She shrugs.

“fuck, b- Y/N I’m so sorry. You have to believe me.” She nods.

“I think I do. I need time. I need to get used to the idea of letting you back into my life before I do.”

“Okay, yeah. What can I do?” He feels hopeful for the first time since he started trying to get her to talk to him.

“Just give me space for now. I’ll let you know.” She walks past him towards Topper. That’s a good start, he thinks.

+++

“Baby!” She yells as she gets off stage, running into Julio’s arms. His flight had been delayed so she didn’t get to see him before the show.

His arms wrap around her waist as he lifts her off the ground, spinning her around.

“When did you get here?” She asks him, kissing his lips before he answers.

“Just as you started the second song.” He pulls away to answer but buries his head in her neck, kissing her.

“Thank you for coming. I missed you so much.” She tells him, still not letting go.

“Always.” He pecks her lips again as the rest of the band comes up behind her.

“Hey, guys.” Julio greets them the best he can with a Y/N-sized necklace still hanging off him.

“Hey, man!” Topper taps him on the shoulder as he passes by him. Barry mumbles a ‘hey’ and Rafe just nods, his jaw tight.

+++

Julio had only been here for one night and already he knew everything that Rafe had told Y/N, Which is how he found himself sitting alone with the man in the green room.

“Y/N told me what you told her last night.” He really doesn’t want to have to explain to Y/N why her boyfriend is on the floor bleeding but if he throws the first punch, Rafe is only defending himself.

“Yeah?” He looks up from his phone and at Julio.

“Look, you hurt her. A lot. To the point where she thought she had no one because of you. She cried herself to sleep every day because of how alone she felt.” Rafe’s stomach churns at his words.

“I’m going to make it up to her.” He puts his phone down next to him.

“And you better mean it. Don’t lead her on. Be honest with her. Do not hurt her again.”

“I won’t.” He assures him.

“Good.” He thinks the conversation is over but Julio speaks up again.

“Rafe, I know how you feel about her. You need to back off. I love her. And she loves me. I will be here until she no longer wants me. Please don’t get in the way of that.”

“I’m engaged.”

“That doesn’t change the way you look at her. Your heart isn’t in it. Respect my relationship and I will respect you.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about. I just want my friend back.” It’s not like she would take him back anyway. Even if he wanted to.

“Okay.” Cleo and Pope walk in to save him from the awkward silence.

“I’m going to head out.” He picks up his phone and stands up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Nice talking to you,” Julio calls.

“Yeah, you too.” He all but runs out of the room on a mission to find Sarah.

+++

Sarah Cameron is not one to spread rumours. She’s very much the type to wait for confirmation. She blames the circumstances and constant stress she’s under juggling her brother’s stupid feelings with Y/N’s and vice versa.

There has been way too much talk about marriage, Sofia finally arrived and all she can talk about is wedding dresses and the caterer and the first dance and Sarah is exhausted. And of course, Rafe is panicking about things he really shouldn’t be worried about like ‘Oh is Y/N getting married? Sarah, she said that she was ready.’ and Y/N herself teased that she wanted the ring and she wouldn’t say no if Julio proposed. So what is Sarah supposed to think when she hears Y/N squeal from her dressing room as she screams “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you.” Sarah is tired.

She should have known there wasn’t an actual proposal when it happened in the dressing room of all places. She knows Julio, he’s a romantic guy, thinking back on it, there’s no way he would have proposed like that. Again, Sarah’s tired and she’s not thinking and she needs to tell someone and the first person she sees. Barry. Bad idea.

“Julio just proposed to Y/N and she said yes.” The information spills out of her mouth, it takes Barry a moment to process what she said but once he gets it he’s laughing.

“Shit. That’s going to kill him.” Fuck. Rafe. She hadn’t even thought of her brother’s reaction. She wants to be the one to tell him but he’s out with his trainer. She has to make sure no one tells him before she does.

“Topper!” She runs down the hall towards him.

“What’s up, why are you like sweating?” She waves him off.

“When does Rafe get back?”

“An hour still.”

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Y/N just got engaged and I need to be the one to break the news to him.”

“Holy shit. Good for her. Where is she?” Sarah shakes her head at him.

“That’s not the point, I need you to find out where Rafe is training so I can find him.”

“He’s probably running laps outside or at a nearby park.”

“Do you have his location?”

“No, security list.”

“Oh my god! I hate that you’re all famous sometimes.” She says through gritted teeth.

“I need to find John B. Make sure Rafe doesn’t find out!” She says running off down the hall again.

“Find out what?” Sofia’s voice comes from behind him.

“Jesus, Sofia, be louder next time.”

“Sorry. What’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing. Y/N just got engaged and Sarah doesn’t want anyone to know yet.’

“Fun! Congratulations to them, that’s so exciting!” He sees her pull out her phone and walk in the direction of the busses.

“See you, Top!”

“On the bus?” He asks her.

“Yeah.” She gives him a toothy grin.

Shit. Topper thinks. She’s going to tell Rafe.

+++

Kyle had just made him run way too much. Keeping up his stamina was important to perform every night. This time though Kyle really wanted to kill him.

“You hate me, man.” He says opening up his phone. Kyle laughs.

“You did great.” He tells him as they start their walk back to the arena.

He has a few notifications from Instagram from friends back home sending him reels and Wheezie tagging him in stories. He swipes out of Instagram and goes on to his Twitter quickly checking to see if the lineup for the show had started already, trying to see which way they took back to the arena without being seen.

Something catches his eye as he scrolls past it, he scrolls back up trying to find the pink icon.

‘@KSUpdates: 💍💍💍’ He reads through the other tweets wondering what that’s all about, were they promoting something he forgot about? He keeps scrolling until he sees someone say that Y/N’s engaged. He stops where he is, Kyle looking at him questioningly.

“You okay?” His head is spinning, his heart is racing faster than when he was working out, and he feels like throwing up. No, he’s not okay.

“I need to go.” He starts booking it to the arena, Kyle trailing behind him.

He has three unanswered texts from Sarah, a call from Topper, and one from Kelce by the time he makes it back to the arena. He says bye to Kyle and rushes to the bathroom. He’s going to throw up, he feels lightheaded.

He didn’t realize how not okay he was with losing her forever right until this moment. He couldn’t face it for the longest time. He loves Sofia. He does. She has been important to him, his growth, and his life, she’s been an amazing partner. But that’s all she’s been. A friend. Because he couldn’t give her his heart. Not when Y/N was out there already walking around with it. She had never given it back. She owned it, owned him. He knew that now. With every fibre in his being, he knew that he was still in love with her. And she was marrying someone else. He was losing her.

His breathing feels laboured. He feels the room continue spinning, he slides down the bathroom wall trying to keep the panic attack at bay. How could he be so stupid? How could it take him so long to realize that he couldn’t live without her no matter how hard he tried? It would always be her.

He hears his phone ringing again but ignores it. He needs to get his breathing under control before he can talk to anyone. They can’t know he’s losing it.

He needs to do something. He needs to get his shit under control and talk to Y/N. He hasn’t had a panic attack in so long. He’s not used to dealing with it. He needs to find Barry first.

+++

She’s in one of her moods again, every time Julio leaves she gets sad and it takes her a day or two to get back into the swing of things. It’s been a week since she had asked Rafe for space. She thinks that she’ll be able to work towards forgiving him or at least putting the past behind her. After talking to Cleo, Sarah, and Julio, they had all given her the same advice. Do what she believes is the best next step for her.

She notices Sarah hovering over Rafe like a mother hen, checking in on him, asking him if he’s okay every two seconds. She doesn’t know what happened but Topper had told her he went missing for the entire day until their show. And she’s pretty sure he showed up high. She’s scared for him. He’s been clean for so long that getting into drugs again now could shock his system. He’s not her responsibility anymore but she cares if he lives or dies.

That same day that Rafe went missing, everyone was congratulating her for being engaged. The updates account had hinted at her being engaged too, she doesn’t know where they got that information, she not only had to tweet, she had to tell the entire team that no, she was not engaged.

It had been a stupid misunderstanding that Sarah had apologized for a significant amount. Cleo had asked Julio how he would propose so Julio had set the scene for her and gotten down on one knee and Y/N had played along. Stupid and dumb.

She’s reading a contract for a new magazine shoot she’s doing when Rafe comes up to her.

“Hey.” He seems anxious. He can’t seem to stand still and his hair’s a mess.

“Hi, you good?” She asks him.

“No.” She gives him her full attention now. Wondering what he’s about to say to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m selfish.” She doesn’t like the tone he says it in. Like he knows he’s about to tell her something he shouldn’t.

“Whatever you’re about to say don’t.” She goes back to her contract, staring at it blankly.

“When I thought you were engaged-”

“Rafe. Enough.”

“I had never felt so heartbroken in my life.” She’s shaking her head at him, trying to get him to stop.

“And I thought, I have to stop this now. I have to do whatever I can to stop it before it goes too far and I have to ruin your wedding. Because I would. Because I’m selfish.” She doesn’t know what to say to that so she says the first thing that comes to mind.

“It’s too late.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” There’s desperation in his voice, his eyes glassy.

“You’re engaged!” She yells, getting up and in his face.

“No, I love you.”

“I love Julio.”

“I love you.”

“Stop!” She turns her back to him and tries to find her breath.

“None of that changes how I feel. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to figure myself out.” She feels him behind her, looming over her shoulder.

“Why are you telling me any of this?”

“I can’t lose you. And that’s what’s happening because I’m an idiot. But I can’t lose you and I’m going to fight for you.” She turns around to face him, taking a step back, creating distance between them.

“There’s no fighting for me. We’re done. We’ve been over for so long. For three years I only spoke to you on stage or in interviews! There’s no us.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Rafe.” Her voice is firm but he doesn’t care.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go. I’ll leave you alone and you won’t ever have to see me again.”

“Not possible. The band.” She doesn’t know why she needs to make sure the band is safe in this moment, so much has happened between them to keep it alive, it can’t be at risk now.

“Outside of that then. Tell me.” She stays quiet, shaking her head once more.

“Please.” She snaps.

“I was in love with you for years! Since I was 13 years old you have lit up my goddamn world and when you finally gave me that chance, when you started looking at me like we could be something you ripped it all away. You hurt me so much and now? Now is when you want to come back and tell me everything I’ve been hoping for for years. Now when you’re getting married and I’m in a happy relationship?” She finishes, her chest heaving anger leaving her body in droves.

“You’re not in a happy relationship.”

“Rafe.” Her tone is warning him to not continue.

“Come on! He doesn’t understand you the way I do! Doesn’t understand the life we live, and the sacrifices we have made to be where we are. He’s not good enough for you.”

“And you are?”

“No.” She throws her hands up, “but, I understand you. I know who you are at your core, baby.”

“Stop.” She’s sure she’s shooting daggers at him now.

“Why?”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

“No, why are you with him?” He’s close to her again, she can feel his breath hitting her face.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because I love him!” Rafe’s face falls. She exhales. “I love him.”

“No, you don’t.” She stays quiet.

“You can’t.” He backs up a little, his head shaking, eyes sad.

“Rafe,” she says softly, stepping closer to him. She reaches out but pulls her arm away quickly.

“It’s too late.” She repeats her words from earlier.

“But I love you.” She doesn’t want to hurt him but she knows she has to put an end to this.

“I don’t love you.”

“I’m so stupid. Oh my god, how did I ever let you go? I’m an idiot th-“ she cuts him off putting a hand on his arm.

“Hey hey, stop. It’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

“How?” Tears are threatening to spill over now. His eyes are red. She doesn’t know if it’s from holding back tears or from smoking.

“By being friends.” His blue eyes pierce into hers.

“I’ll try.”

“Okay.” There are a lot of things left unsaid between them. She hugs him for the first time in years and he puts his face in the crook of her neck. She feels him crying. His tears soaking her neck.

“I love you.” She does too. Not in the way that he wants. Not anymore.

“I know.”

#kildaresplit au #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #outerbanks au #rafe obx #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron smau #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe imagine #rafe outer banks #rafe fic #outerbanks rafe

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sehodreams · 2 months

Text

sex money feelings die - fifth visit

fourth visit ↬ fifth visit ↬ sixth visit (tba)

WC: 5.5k

TW and Tags (permanent for the story): rich client!Anton x stripper!reader, smut, fluff (?), a touch of angst for the moment, inexperienced reader, fingering, kissing, masturbation, lots of silly conversations.

Summary: Working at a night club was difficult in many aspects, your sleep schedule was messed up for life, your feet were more used to high heels than sneakers and you had to lie about where you went to work those nights. Still, even with all those cons, you didn't hate your job, you had more than enough to pay your bills, feed your brother and save money for his college. However, what happens when your boss makes you do the one thing you asked to never do.

You carried his card everywhere, you hadn’t call him, but you liked to watch it every time you opened your wallet.

A music producer, you repeated on your mind. It fitted him, he always knew what songs you talked about and even gave you options you listened from time to time when you remembered him.

Still, you couldn’t understand what he was doing coming to a place like Shotaro’s club, you were sure he could easily get a pass in any other club that had his favorite drinks in the menu, and he wouldn’t have to carry his own every time he visited, unlike the place you worked at.

Not that your club was ugly, it had good clients, all of them coming to see you and your gorgeous coworkers, but you had heard of better places that let them do more to the girls, some of them even allowed them to request sexual services, something they would never get here.

Anton had been the only one until now, and you didn’t like the thought of how it all started, but at least Anton had been respectful with you and hadn’t touched you until you asked for it.

You blushed.

You couldn’t forget what had happened on Monday.

Every time you went to sleep you would remember how his long fingers felt inside you and how good he looked under you. The taste of his mouth and the wine was also impregnated on your tongue, not daring to look at a bottle of wine even if none of them were like his.

‘’Is there anything wrong?’’ one of the girls asked when she saw you all lost looking at your phone.

‘’Oh, it’s nothing, just a little tired, and now we’ll have to entertain the pretty boys, I was thinking what to drink to survive the night’’ you smiled and exhaled. It was Friday and they would arrive in a couple of hours.

She nodded, ‘’Yes, but I heard Anton had something to do, I don’t think he’ll come today.’’

‘’Who told you that?’’ you asked confused.

‘’My boy told me the last time they came that Anton and another of his friends may not come today since they had a big meeting or something like that, and they couldn’t move it.’’

You nodded to it, bewildered since Anton hadn’t say a single word when he came on Monday. ‘’I see, well, I guess I should get ready for a show then’’ you tried to not look too surprised.

She stood up and walked out, leaving you alone in the room, and when you felt that no one would come in, most of them grabbing a quick snack in the kitchen before the doors opened, you grabbed your phone and introduced his number.

You watched it on your screen, the many digits intimidated you and you thought about just not calling him, but your finger pressed the green bubble before you could choose.

Not even three rings sounded, and he answered. ‘’Hello?’’ his voice sounded deeper through the phone, more serious than the usual soft tone he used with you, and you almost got weak in your seat.

Biting the inside of your cheek your breath flattered and you felt the nervousness creep behind your back before you could talk, ‘’Hi’’ was the only thing you could say.

‘’Hi’’ his voice changed to the same tone he always used with you, you even heard how he let out a relaxed sigh, making you picture him with his typical soft grin. ‘’I was waiting for your call’’ he murmured.

‘’Yeah well, Shotaro finally told me how much the cleaning fees are.’’

Shotaro hadn’t even spoken to you about it, the only thing he did when he saw it was shrug, shake his head, look at you and walk away, leaving you there next to Sungchan who looked at you and murmured, rich people wine smell different, uh? making you nod before you ran away to hide your blush.

‘’Oh really? And how much is it?’’ he asked, honestly curious.

‘’Are you sitting? Because you may pass out, they will leave you broke.’’

You heard his breathy laugh on the other side of the line.

‘’I’ll make sure to ask for a discount then.’’

‘’I think you should, I can go with you to his office today if you want, he kind of owes me one for teaching the new waitress the basics.’’

Silence.

You gulped and started to bite your cheek again, nervous to not hear him smoothly talk like he always did.

He hummed before he continued, ‘’I think we’ll have to postpone that, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to go today. I have an important meeting tomorrow and all my team is staying the night to check the last details.’’

You tried to not sound disappointed, ‘’I see’’.

Recognizing that hint of sadness in your tone, he blamed himself for not telling you sooner, ‘’Sorry, I wanted to tell you when we met this Monday but… well, you know we didn’t talk much.’’

‘’Oh.’’

Anton closed his eyes, and his smile came back to him because he knew you were blushing, there, alone, waiting for him, and his hand gripped his phone trying to not remember you that day, he had too many people waiting for him behind the door in front of him to get swayed your way and risk a whole deal just to go and see you for a couple of hours.

But he couldn’t lie to himself, he was already thinking about you even before you called him. He had gone out for a bottle of water when you popped his mind and didn’t let him concentrate on what one of his workers was saying, and just like a miracle his phone had started to sound inside his pocket before he entered the room after deciding to go back and completely forget you to focus on his work again. The screen showed an unknown number, and even if he didn’t know who it belonged to, it made his heart skip before he answered with the hope it was you who called.

‘’I’ll see you this Monday, promise, but meanwhile, do you mind if I call you later? And that means, tomorrow, and the day after, and maybe Monday too.’’

‘’I do mind, if you wake me up, I’ll block you’’ you denied.

He chuckled and nodded, already used to your sharp answers. ‘’Then what about a text?’’ he offered.

‘’Better, but please don’t forget about your debt, the poor couch suffered because of us so I’ll ask for the discount, don’t worry.’’

‘’This girl…’’ his breathy laugh sounded for a couple of long seconds, making you smile, happy of being the cause of it, ‘’I already paid him.’’

You covered your mouth, so he didn’t hear you chuckle, and hanged up.

Choosing your outfit for the night, you tried to think on anything else that wasn’t how you wouldn’t be able to see him later. It was good, you tried to convince yourself, there were many clients that probably missed you those weeks, and you shouldn’t neglect them if you didn’t want to lose them.

Shotaro saw you in the bar having some small talk with the girls that served drinks and told you that you could go to the VIP room if you wanted, after all, one of the girl that accompanied Anton’s friend that wouldn’t come was still going, but you rejected the idea immediately, if he wasn’t there, you didn’t feel like staying the whole night with the group.

When his group arrived all the girls ran to the second VIP room, excited to see their favorite clients and have their fun, while Sungchan, seeing you go to the other direction, to the scenario, without much thinking said, ‘’Ow angel, won’t your pretty boy come tonight?’’

‘’He has work stuff, but better, I needed a break’’ you replied with a smile, and Sungchan, finding the disappointment you tried to mask with your uninterested tone adorable, patted your naked back before he followed the other girls.

Luckily the night ended fast, you did a couple of shows and one of your past regulars called you for a private dance, giving you a good tip saying how much he had missed you the last weeks, ‘’You’ll always be my favorite’’ he said, and you, by instinct, said that he was your favorite too, but you perfectly knew how much of a lie that was.

The night finished without much emotion and you went home as early as you could, it was only four in the morning when you were already standing in your door, two sandwiches in a bag courtesy of Sungchan charming the kitchen lady with his smile, and you accepted them gladly, relieved of not having to make breakfast for your brother, who was sound asleep in his room after studying until late.

Walking as silently as you could, you cleaned your living room a little bit, just tossing old packages and watching that there wasn’t nothing dirty. Your brother, even if he had an even worse schedule than you, always made sure to leave the place as clean as he could, and there wasn’t much for you to do, dishes washed, kitchen table clean and trash can empty.

You sat in the darkness and exhaled, feeling extremely alive for the hour and tired as hell because of the long trip at the same time.

After washing yourself you felt more at ease, hair wet and rolled with a towel because you couldn’t turn on the hairdryer at that hour, and you decided to do something you only did on special occasions.

You searched your client’s name, in this case Anton, online.

You got surprised with the quantity of results there, you had never had a client as famous as him, with so many profiles and articles with his name, it seems he had already produced a couple of popular songs, not many, but enough to let him have a name in the industry, and you, sitting in the border of your old mattress with what used to be a beige bedsheet, pale after so many washes, felt a struck of reality.

Why would he treat you so well when he could go and have an actual connection with a girl as popular, or even more than him, in real life?

You read as many articles as you could, not believing your eyes but at the same time smiling with the praises he had received despite his young age, all of them talking about the future he could (and will) have, a music producer in the company of his family, a life already bright enough to always let him go to bed in peace and never worry about tomorrow, and you did it until your alarm brought you back and you had to go and wake up your brother.

He was a heavy sleeper, you sometimes wondered how he would be able to live without you if he couldn’t wake up with the five alarms he put on his cellphone, but while you could, you would wake him up with pleasure.

Knocking his door, you went to the bathroom and started to dry your hair, thinking in what you would have to cook for dinner and leaving what you read about Anton well behind your mind, because if you remembered it every time you looked at him, you would start getting conscious of yourself, which would definitely change your tone with him, and wouldn’t let you talk as free as you’ve been doing until now.

Not much later you got exactly what you wanted, concentrating on your brother, his dinner and your own breakfast, with the help of the news in the background and the rush of the hour, you forgot him.

However, Anton must have a signal to go back and fill your mind with him whenever you completely forgot him, because when you were about to go to sleep after a long night and morning, ready to not think at all for at least the next five hours, you saw a text from him.

You saw it in real time how the little notification appeared while you watched a video, a message so short and direct that had you smiling and rolling your eyes before you decided to answer.

Are you awake?

You could ignore it and pretend you didn’t see it, but having the opportunity to tease him, you couldn’t lose it just like that.

Sleeping.

Nothing.

You waited for him to answer in the chat, there was no bubble moving showing that he was writing, but he did read it, it appeared like that, and he was online too.

You imagined him reading your message and nodding, thinking ‘’so she’s asleep…’’, ready to not bother you anymore, and you laughed, trying to guess how much time would take him to notice that you had lied.

Minutes passed by, and when you were finally drifting to sleep, your ringtone started to sound.

‘’…I hate you’’ he said when you accepted his call.

‘’Maybe I should hang up then.’’

‘’No’’ he interrupted you, ‘’It’s just… I really believed you for a second, I was ready to not bother you anymore.’’

His breathy laugh made you smile, and you decided to not tell him that you were actually about to sleep, and he had woken you up with his call.

‘’It’s pretty early, why are you calling me at this hour?’’ you didn’t sound angry, just intrigued, had he gone to his meeting? Was he calling you right before his meeting? You wanted to know what pushed him to talk to you at 8 am.

‘’I wanted to know how your night was, the boys told me you didn’t go to the VIP room.’’

You hummed, moving your phone closer to your ear, to hear him better. ‘’I wasn’t needed, the girls were just fine without me.’’

‘’You could’ve gone to rest a little bit, I still paid Shotaro for your time’’ he confessed.

‘’What?’’ you were so surprised you had to sit.

Shotaro hadn’t say anything to you when you left, well, not that you waited for him either, you just grabbed your share of the night and left the rest with Sungchan when he gave you the food.

The point was, you didn’t understand why Anton paid when he didn’t spend the night with you.

‘’Why?’’ you simply couldn’t understand.

‘’I wasn’t going to leave you just like that, it was the least I could do, to be honest, I wanted to give you even more for not seeing you last night, but I thought that maybe it would be a bit too much, even your boss looked at me weird when I said I would still pay.’’

‘’Anton…’’ you couldn’t believe how much he thought about you to do something like that.

And just like you were afraid of, you started to remember all the articles you read and how much they talked wonders about him.

A respectable young man ready to take the industry, and the world, in his hands.

They had no idea how awesome, and impressive, and kind, he really was.

‘’You didn’t have to do that, you didn’t see me yesterday, you got nothing out of that.’’

‘’But I wanted to, if I didn’t, I would’ve felt bad the next time I saw you, thinking how I made you lose your night just because I was busy.’’

‘’Anton, if you don’t come, I can still work’’ you tried to make him understand, ‘’the next time you don’t have to do that.’’

He didn’t answer.

You heard his breathing through the phone and your hand started to play with the border of your shirt. You didn’t know what to say, and suddenly you felt like you couldn’t talk with him like you had been doing, because you really were on different positions, and for you it didn’t make sense how he always had you in his mind and treated you that good when he could do a lot better.

‘’Well… then you won’t like what I bought for you to show how sorry I was.’’

‘’Anton!’’ you called his name louder than expected.

‘’I’m joking’’ he said, happy that you didn’t sound as tense anymore.

He didn’t have to see you to notice the little things about you, even your silence talked for you, and he had sensed how you suddenly got uncomfortable after he admitted how he had paid.

‘’Don’t you have a meeting?’’ you asked after he finished laughing at you.

‘’I already had it, everything went well, I guess talking to you last night gave me luck.’’

‘’Please stop.’’ You begged, not being able to endure his lines anymore.

Perhaps that’s why his songs are so popular, you thought, because you had never met someone able to create corny lines as fast as him.

‘’I was about to sleep, I wanted to hear you one last time before I passed out.’’

‘’I was about to sleep too.’’

He hummed.

You stayed in silence a minute, just hearing each other’s breathing and the bedsheets on his side ruffling with his movements. You were still on your place, only playing with your shirt and waiting for him to talk.

‘’There was something I wanted to talk about… you know, about what we did this Monday.’’

You gulped.

You didn’t expect him to talk about it, you didn’t expect a conversation about it at all.

‘’I wanted to say that… I don’t want you to think you have to do it because I pay you.’’

‘’I know’’ you were quickly to reply.

You did it because you wanted, not because of anything else, not because of the money, or the alcohol, or Shotaro, and you had worked hard to help you go around the next days with an easy mind. You were a big girl, and you could do that kind of thing without feeling guilty anymore.

Anton had been nothing but respectful to you all those days, and you couldn’t let him think that you did it for anything that wasn’t your decision based on how good he treated you.

‘’I think I made myself clear the first days’’ you continued, ‘’I wouldn’t have let you touch me if I didn’t want to.’’

‘’You’re right’’ he sounded relieved on the other side. ‘’Then… is it okay if we do it again? I mean, did you like it?’’

There was no one in your house, you were completely alone, and your door was closed, but you still whispered, as if you were about to say something wrong, or, more than wrong, inappropriate, something that no one else, apart from him, should hear.

‘’I liked it’’ you admitted.

‘’I’m glad, I liked it too.’’

Your mind started to reply that night.

Without thinking, like every night when you remembered it, your arousal started to appear, pouring out of you with the expectations of feeling him again. The image of him under you brought a pression in your abdomen you weren’t used to feel before that occasion, of course you had felt excited before, but the way Anton had showed you how capable he was of driving you into that kind of pleasure made it a lot more intense, almost painful and that made it impossible for you to not move uncomfortable on your seat.

You closed your eyes and exhaled through your nose, trying to control yourself and your mind from making you feel like that with him, not physically there with you, but still there.

‘’You’re thinking about it too, right?’’ he asked you.

You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how right he was.

‘’Are you?’’

‘’You have no idea how much I think about it, I do it every day, every hour.’’

Me too, you closed your eyes again hearing his voice say something so bold without feeling ashamed of it, he was using a different voice, it wasn’t the one he used when he tried to maintain a conversation with you in the club, or the one he used when he answered his phone when he didn’t know it was you who called him, it was deeper, a lot more mature and confident, like the one he used when he made you cum over his lap with his fingers inside you.

A whimper almost escaped your throat and you hided it with a cough, trying to think a way to change the aura of the conversation.

‘’I’m sure you’re getting wet, that day you were dripping all over my hand’’ he then said, and you couldn’t help but gulp again, the faint sound telling him everything he needed to know.

Anton imagined you lying down over his bed, right next to him, with your hand between your thighs, looking at him with those teary eyes, and that was enough for him to get hard.

Every day he imagined the same thing, you over his designer bedsheets, with the little light of his lamp beside his bed, your pretty face frowning and calling his name while your hand played with yourself, waiting for him in his apartment, getting ready for him to take you after a long day at work.

Just that occasion was enough to push the last little will he had to contain himself, he didn’t know how would he be able to face you and not touch you the next time he had you in front of him, but he wanted to leave everything clear before that, he wanted to make sure you enjoyed it as much as he did.

He needed you, and making him feel like a teenager again, every day he dreamed of you, he thought of you, and he jerked off with the memory of you.

‘’Anton…’’ your voice made him look down to his now hard member and groan.

‘’I want to hear you’’ his tongue had to wet his lips, dry of thirst for you, ‘’touch yourself, please.’’

He was begging with such urgency you didn’t know how to say no, and even more, you didn’t want to say no.

Your mind was already telling you to touch yourself like he had done that day, it wouldn’t be the same, you had already tried it those days without him, but it would help you soothe the pain.

‘’I don’t…’’ you wanted to confess how it wasn’t the same if they weren’t his fingers, but you felt your face burn just with the thought of it.

‘’I’ll tell you what to do’’ he interrupted you, ‘’so… will you be good for me?’’

Fuck, you wanted to be good for him.

‘’…Okay’’

Anton pulled down his pants and his underwear, just enough to leave his cock free, which jumped to the sound of you lying over your bed and getting comfortable for him.

‘’What are you wearing?’’ he asked, and just his voice made you get more wet inside your panties.

‘’A t-shirt… and panties.’’

‘’No pants? Isn’t it too cold for that?’’

You couldn’t tell him that you were more used to the coldness because of your work, you felt a lot more comfortable wearing just that at night, and thankfully your apartment was warm enough, it was old, but the winter was bearable.

In summer it was hell though.

‘’I can’t sleep with pants.’’

‘’I can’t sleep with t-shirts, I guess we’re the perfect pair.’’

You bit your lip to not laugh, but he knew you wanted to do it, so he laughed for you.

‘’I can give you all my t-shirts if you want, I don’t mind.’’

‘’Okay’’ you answered, surprising him. He expected you to tell him to stop, but that answer satisfied him even more.

‘’Okay’’ he repeated, ‘’that way, the next time you miss me, and I can’t be with you, at least you’ll have my t-shirt to think of me.’’

That sounded too good, he imagined you wearing his shirt and playing with your clit, drenching the back of it, and he liked the idea so much his cock bounced in front of his eyes.

You, on the other hand, only imagined how comfortable you would feel with his smell lingering around you at night.

‘’Now…’’ he interrupted your thoughts, ‘’don’t take it off, just lift it, as if you were showing me your chest.’’

You felt so embarrassed you just gripped your shirt, eyes closing with force and your mind telling you to follow his words but your conscience too awake and clear now to do it.

‘’I can hear you not moving, I thought you’d be good for me’’ he had already guessed you weren’t going to make the things that easy for him, but he still expected you to do better, for him, ‘’This is the only time in which I won’t tolerate you fooling me.’’

He was right, and feeling the weight of his words, your hand didn’t doubt to lift your t-shirt this time, feeling the morning coldness impact your whole torso, nipples slightly hardening.

He could hear your breath hitching and the fabric of your clothes moving, feeling content with you listening to him this time, maybe he had to be stern with you in bed, he thought, to show that he could play in any other moment, except that one.

‘’Well done.’’

You licked your lips while your eyelids fluttered with his words, you wanted him to continue talking to you like that, so forward and authoritative, as if he knew exactly what you needed.

‘’Play with your nipples, just like how you want me to touch them’’ his hand lifted his shirt to his abdomen, just to rest his hand over it and imagine it was you who was touching him.

You did what he said, and touching your right one with the tip of your finger, you decided it wasn’t how you wanted him to touch you, so to add more intensity, with your whole palm you grabbed your tit, too big for your own hand, and massaged it until your thumb and your index finger pressed your little bud with more force.

That’s how you want him to touch you, with more force, to not be as delicate, he wouldn’t break you, and when you closed your eyes, you could see his big hand cupping you completely without problem.

He heard you breathing get harder, not louder, just with more difficulty, and he could imagine those beautiful nipples begging for him to give them a taste.

The last time he couldn’t, but the next time he definitely would, he had no reasons to stop himself anymore.

‘’How do you feel?’’ he asked when he heard you sigh.

‘’Good, it feels good.’’

He cursed in his mind, what he would give to be there and touch you, and make you feel good with his own hands.

‘’Shit, you’re going to make me cum just with your voice.’’

You moaned.

‘’Don’t say that…’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because I want you to cum with me.’’

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Of course you’d drop a bomb like that one, he should learn by that point that you always surprised him for the best in moments like that one, so sweet, and tender, and perfect for him.

‘’Touch your clit, like I did that day’’ he said as he could, one hand going to wrap his member while his thumb spread the pre cum leaking in his tip.

It was already hurting him, but he was so focused on your voice he had forgotten about himself.

‘’It feels good’’ you moaned again, suddenly feeling your own fingers good, not like the previous night you had tried to touch you, it finally felt good.

‘’What I would give to be the one touching you right now.’’

‘’Anton‘’ you cried.

You were using just one finger, flicking your clit up and down and thinking it was him touching you.

‘’Don’t be afraid of using more than one finger, like I did, do it just like I did’’ he ordered, and you obeyed.

You tried to make the same motion, up and down, feeling your juices making a mess inside your panties.

He didn’t lie, you really were dripping for him.

It was so wet, you felt your fingers sliding with such ease over your clit, making you feel incredibly good.

You had touched yourself before, even before you knew Anton, you were human after all, but his groans on your ear and the memory of his hand instead of yours made it a lot better.

You didn’t understand what was so good about masturbating before, it was good, but this was fucking amazing.

You wanted to cup your chest again, just like he would’ve done it, like he did over your bra, but you needed to have your phone on your ear, his voice was more necessary than any light touch over your skin.

‘’Please touch my chest the next time.’’

The next time, he became numb, you were being so good for him, begging with that honeyed voice to touch you, he’d do it with much pleasure, but to hear you say it, to ask for his touch so directly, it was too much for him.

‘’I’ll touch you so good, my angel, I’ll do everything you want.’’

He didn’t mean it only for when he made you feel good with his hands, or his mouth, he honestly wanted to do everything for you.

‘’Put one finger inside.’’

You sighed disappointed, it felt good, but not like when he did it.

‘’It’s not like yours...’’

You heard him groan.

His hand stopped moving, feeling your pain through the phone.

‘’Oh angel, I’m so sorry, I’ll make sure to finger you well next time too.’’

‘’Yours are so long’’ you cried, putting one more in to simulate the size of his fingers.

It wasn’t enough, and soon you had not one or two, but three fingers, which were the closest sensation to his fingers that day, stretching you just like two of his fingers did.

When you put all those fingers inside the echo of your wetness got louder, pushing him to continue with the way his hand was moving before, swiftly pulling his cock like your delicate hand would do, with those pretty fingers around him and those beautiful eyes looking at him.

‘’How many do you have in?’’ he asked curious, because it was impossible just one finger was making that nasty noise.

You didn’t want to tell him how many, it was so disgraceful for a girl to use that many fingers, at least you believed that.

You cried again because something so degrading was feeling so good.

‘’Tell me.’’

He wouldn’t stop asking, you knew it, he would respect your silence in any other occasion, but not in this one.

‘’…Three.’’

‘’Shit, getting ready for my cock.’’

‘’Anton.’’ You called for him, flustered with his statement, and pushing your fingers even more with that idea.

He was big, you felt it that day, even just over his pants you could feel how much he would open you, your three fingers were nothing to get that, they had to be his fingers to stretch you enough to accept him.

‘’You’re about to cum, right? I already recognize that tone’’ he was pumping harder his cock, following the intensity of your squelches and how your hand was more erratic, ‘’fuck, and I’m not there to feel your mess, my angel.’’

You repeated his name in loud moans, grateful that you were completely alone, and his groans became as loud as your moans, reciprocating your enthusiasm.

He bit his lip with force, back falling with force to his pillow, picturing you moaning right over him like you did that day, and while thinking about you, and listening to your actual cries, he came all over his hand in thick spurs of cum.

You also came, a lighter sensation than when he fucked you so good with his fingers, but still good enough to make you feel relaxed again.

After days of not being able to cum you didn’t realize how tense you were, maybe that was why you were so thoughtful and couldn’t sleep even when you felt so tired.

Both of you stayed like that for a good time, recovering after all those days away.

‘’I missed you so much’’ Anton said when your mind was drifting away.

Me too, you thought, but didn’t say it.

‘’You’ll see me this Monday…’’

‘’I’ll buy you something.’’

‘’If you buy me something, I swear I’ll punch you.’’

‘’Oops, I think I’d like that too.’’

You laughed, not hiding it this time, and fell asleep while hearing his soft laugh on your ear.

When you saw him on Monday you punched him, not hard though, because apart from the couple of his t-shirts he gave you, he bought you a small bouquet of flowers to show how sorry he was.

fourth visit ↬ fifth visit ↬ sixth visit (tba)

#riize smut #anton smut #riize x reader #anton x reader #riize hard hours #riize hard thoughts

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avatarkv · 10 months

Text

V ! I Know it's for the better. Know it's for the better.

✎ Synopsis ! You've been thrusted to carry the burden of the eldest after his passing.

Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader. Mentions of death and violence! (wc; 5057)

Song: Waiting Room, Phoebe Bridgers.

“Can you hear me, corporal?” He chuckles, “Yeah. I think you can.”

"If you so much as lay a finger on her, consider yourself a dead man.” Your father seethed through the intercom that you could feel his very rage– it frightened you, almost more so than being captured by Quaritch. Jake wasn't the kind of man who liked to make idle threats; it was his commitment that made him the perfect olo’eyktan, but it was purely love that made him the father he is today.

You knew very well what he was capable of.

You tugged at the binds, desperate to loosen them but to no avail. Squirming uncomfortably in your seat, despair settled into your chest like lead and you felt helpless. You didn't even put up a fight to begin with; all those training, just to end up at the root of it all. You could only glare at Quaritch while he looked down at you, fingers pressing the pager on his ear.

“Now don’t look at me like that, sweetheart, you have your father’s eyes.” His remark made your gaze falter, disgust coursing through your body. “You know what to do, Jake.”

“Don’t touch her, asshole! She’s just a kid–

“Might’ve gotten a few scratches in, but nothing a few bandaids can’t fix.” Quaritch looks you up and down, a smirk playing on his lips, “Don’t worry, we show visitors the utmost respect here. I’m certain you’d know our customs around these parts, marine.” His tone is slightly aggressive and there's an air of smugness in his words– he’s provoking him, taking pleasure in knowing that he has the upper hand.

Scratches my ass. They gave you one hell of a shot on your side when they tried to kill off your ilu and they did nothing but put some ragged cloth to stop the bleeding. You knew it wasn’t any deep, but it still hurt– not to mention you’ve lost a lot of blood from their harsh tugging. You wince, thinking about it. If it wasn’t for the adrenaline coursing through your body, you would’ve been in a whole lot of pain.

“What the hell do you want?”

“Same as before. You for her.”

Their voices melted into the background, like a low hum of static passing through your ears. Despite the noise, you feel yourself attune to it after a while and allow yourself to drift away. Eventually, it tuned itself out and you were surrounded by an almost eerie silence.

Your father had said something, you remembered, something you had missed.

You had missed the looming aircraft above– unlike the usual helicopters you knew, this one flew stealthily, as if it was designed to lurk and catch even the slightest of movement. At first, they thought it was merely a lone ilu; they were now at the reef, after all. Your color blended almost perfectly with its skin, movement as fluid as the raging sea. They had shot it, grazing its fin.

“Mawey, mawey!” You had screamed in panic, trying to hold on to its thrashing body. “Dad–”

The ilu struggled, bellowing in pain. It was impossible to form a bond, let alone control your breathing– the bluish-green waters were now tainted with a faint, crimson hue. Blood; familiar blood, painful red.

“__, listen, I’m gonna find you, okay?” It was difficult to make out the words he had spoken over the loud static of the pager. The radio waves were making it hard for either of them to hear properly. Trying again, he shouted, “Sweetheart, I’m–”

From there, they had spotted you; a forest na’vi, sticking out like a sore thumb. Quaritch had most certainly hit the jackpot upon seeing that it was none other than Jake Sully's eldest daughter.

You wondered what he could have uttered in that moment before Quaritch and his people had rushed to get to you. Could it have been an apology– a sorry you’ve been longing for? Sweetheart, I’m sorry for being so tough on you. I’m sorry we had to leave home– leave him. I’ll find you and you’ll be okay. We’re going home.

But the thought of facing his disappointment again plagued you; once it had been his love that held you together, but now this fear kept your feet firmly planted on the ground.

Sweetheart, I’m disappointed in you– how could you put yourself in this situation? How could you put everyone in danger again? What would Neteyam think? I’m tired, __. You tire me.

Yeah, that was surely it.

Your eyes wandered around the room; the unfamiliar white walls reminded you just how far away from home you were and perhaps this time, you could never return.

Quaritch grabs your braid in his fist, tugging on it with a vice-like grip and forcing you to look up at him. You stifle a cry of pain, feeling the throbbing ache all across your scalp as his grip tightens around it. He tugs on it further, wanting a sound out of you, but all you could let out was a loud hiss. “Can’t hear your father, darling, think we have to put on a show.” He sneers, “You must not really love your children, Jake.”

“I understand already–! get your fucking hands off her!”

“I don’t think you understand, really.” Quaritch taunts.

A beat of silence passes before your father's desperate voice echoes through the intercom. “Please,” he pleads, “Don't hurt my daughter."

“There we go,” He finally releases your hair, “I’ll be waiting, Jake.”

Quaritch removes the pager, discarding it on the table just in front of you.

“You must be very disappointed in yourself,” A low hiss erupted from your throat as you gazed upwards. He sat in front of you, mockingly close, yet far enough that you couldn’t do anything but glare. “Does this not remind you of a familiar night?”

“They are coming for you,” Your tone was menacing– livid, as the words snarled from your lips. “And when they do, you’re gonna wish that you’ve let yourself rot in that shack.”

It flashed through his mind– a glimmer of your mother that burned fiercely; a warning. Quaritch straightened his posture, chuckling. “That traitor is coming to save his dear daughter in distress, much like your brother had. We know how it'll end.”

“Not until he kills you first,”

“You’re in a different boat, kid, away from the main one. What happens if I tell him he’d been too late and I got bored?” He shakes his head, snickering, like he had figured it all out– like he had carefully planned for everything to work out just so.“That this kid had too much of a mouth on her that I had to cut her throat?”

His words had struck you– a low blow. You feel as if your mouth has suddenly gone dry and the lump that appears in your throat lodges itself there stubbornly, refusing to move. No words came out of your lips, but a pathetic low sob. He was going to kill your father and he could succeed in doing so. “You’re one sick man.”

“You know your brother didn’t have to die,” His voice held no remorse and you wondered how someone could sleep so soundly. He stands up, dusting his pants, “But your father had it coming. Now stay here and be a sweetheart.”

Before he walked out, Quaritch had looked down on you one last time. There, you realized that you doomed yourself beyond salvation. You were nothing and he made sure of that— had cut you on a barely healing wound and now it reopened, bleeding more than ever.

Eywa must’ve turned her back. No child of hers would have suffered such trouble– and you were young. So young, you think that the stories of her were absurd. One more miracle, you needed just one more.

The lights dimmed when the doors closed, leaving you in the dark with your thoughts.

They were arguing again.

Tuk was nestled close to Kiri, the two of them huddled together in front of the table. Lo'ak sat on the other side, rising slightly from his seat in an effort to eavesdrop and make out whatever he could hear from their parents’ conversation.

Something was off and gravely so. Nothing ever good rooted from a fight and they barely do, not until the past occurrences. It had to be the sky-people.

“I don’t feel so good,” Tuk muttered, her grip tight around her belly as if she could hold in the pain. “The last time this happened was when we left our home.”

“We’re not leaving, Tuk.” Kiri quickly assured her.

Their meal had gone cold and the silence was deafening. They all waited with baited breath, trying not to fidget or move. The suspense was growing thick in the air and they didn't know how much longer they could bear to remain idle, wondering what the hell was happening.

As if their prayers had been answered, Jake hurriedly walks inside, eyes falling to his panicked children. It made his heart more and more heavy, but he couldn’t bring himself to comfort them. Neytiri had already gone to Ronal’s

“Kids,” His voice was low and firm, and it made his shoulders stiff in anticipation, “Make sure everyone stays here. No one goes out the reef, understand?”

“Wait—” Lo’ak abruptly stands up, staggering to his feet. “What’s happening? Where’s __?”

“They took her.” It was all the answer he needed. The sky-people had found them. “Lo’ak, stay here with your sisters. I mean it.”

“You can’t expect me to stay here while __ is in danger—”

“I need one child! One child to listen when I tell them to stay,” He raises his voice with every word, but it wavers as he speaks— Jake could barely keep himself together, eyes betraying his authority. His gaze sharply shifts to his daughters, watching intensely as the scene unfolds. “Kiri, please.” She only replies with a curt nod and Lo’ak visibly deflates.

He needed them to stay here— here, where it’s safe. Here where Quaritch couldn’t touch them.

From afar, he embodied the fierce olo’eyktan that he is, but truthfully, he trembles as a father. He blamed himself for that night– blamed himself for everything that had happened. Jake couldn’t risk losing another one. Not only will he be failing his family, he’d fail Neteyam again, most of all.

Lo’ak slumps his shoulders, pushing past Jake. “This isn’t fair,” He mutters under his breath. Jake’s eyebrows knitted tightly and he knew damn well there was no going back from talking back to a parent. “You aren’t being fair– how could you ask us to standby?”

“I’m not asking, Lo’ak. It’s an order.”

“That’s even worse!” He shouts in reply and Jake is taken back.

There it is. The emotions desperate to claw out of their throats. If toughening them to an extent was a good thing, why was it biting him in the ass right now? Jake’s bottom lip quivered slightly. He didn’t need this– not now. He would’ve dealt with it properly, if it wasn’t for the situation at hand. Jake didn’t need his kids reminding him how he fucked up. He didn’t need another heartache when he had to toughen himself out.

“This isn’t the time for attitude, Lo’ak–” Jake exhales a deep breath, his eyes squinting as he clenches his jaw. He tries hard to keep himself in check, the last thing he wants is to lose his temper. Talk to them. Calmly. “You think I have the upperhand? Your sister needs me right now, what don’t you understand?”

“This would not have happened if you could just listen!”

“Well I’m here now, Lo’ak– just what do you have to say?” He stares back at him with an intensity that matches his own, voice slightly raised.

A million thoughts raced his mind. Will he blame him for bringing him here–? Here in awa’altu where they had to unlearn everything they have known– here in awa’atlu, away from his brother; but when silence had only replied to his outburst, he sighed wearily.

“Right now, we do not see eye to eye, boy.” His tone turns gentle, surprisingly. It causes Lo’ak to become rigid– unmoving as he takes in his father’s unfamiliar nature. The atmosphere shifted so somewhat awkward. Lo’ak only knew how to deal with his father’s anger. “And that’s on me. I know you blame me for being a shit father, and I want you to. I messed up and I keep messing up.”

“Then why can’t you be better?” He said so casually, like it was something Jake could accomplish with a flick of a switch, as if it was an easy task she simply hadn't put in enough effort for. But that was never the case.

Truthfully, he didn’t know what to answer. Didn’t want to tell his son that this was already his best. He liked to think that no father is perfect– eased him just a little knowing that there were far worse than him. But maybe he was no better.

When he knew that Neteyam’s eyes would never open again, he thought that hurt had hit the lowest of lows. But here he was, watching his son’s hateful gaze and had never been so wrong.

His ears flattened. “Stay here Lo’ak, please.”

Coward. Jake was a coward.

Lo'ak let out a frustrated scoff, quickly turning his head away and storming off in anger. He left the Marui so hastily that Jake was left alone with a crestfallen expression etched on his face. His expression was enough for Kiri to run after him, Tuk trailing behind. She jogged hastily, her breath catching in her throat as she eventually managed to match Lo'ak's pace.

“Lo’ak, they asked us to stay here.” Kiri tried to grasp on his wrist, only for him to retract harshly. They continued to walk towards the shore in an argument, “Lo’ak!”

“They have __, I’m going.” He continues to march towards his ilu, caressing its head in greeting while it mewls in return. “I’m not losing another one, Kiri. She’s my sister.”

Kiri grabs his hand, turning him around to face her sharply. Tuk’s head peeps to watch from behind her legs, “I’m your sister too! You’re scaring Tuk, just let them handle it.”

“What’s going on?” Ao’nung calls. Tsireya had heard of the commotion and immediately went to find Lo’ak and it was no surprise that he’d want to go after his parents.

“This is the sky people we’re talking about! The same people who–” He had exhaled loudly in frustration, his movements jerking and violent as he ran his hands through his braids repeatedly. His face contorts in stress and disbelief, and he yanks on his hair lightly, an attempt to shift the focus of his energy to something tangible instead of this hopelessness that has crept up on him.

“I have to be there.”

“Keep your skxawng ass here, I swear to Eywa.” But her threats fell on deaf ears as he continued to mount his ilu, spear in hand. He threw them one last glance before he sped away, leaving Kiri to call out his name.

Rotxo’s expression grew worried as he watched Lo’ak’s figure disappear amongst the vast spread of water. Forehead creased in concern as he looked around where everyone had been standing, “Are we supposed to let him?”

“Eywa, of course not.” She had clapped towards the Ilus, beckoning them to ride. “Let’s go, people.”

Life was simple back then.

Jake knew he had to pull on his weight, lengthen his patience, and learn fatherhood from scratch. He was far from perfect, but he was sure that even his best efforts would still be better than what his own father had done for him when it came to parenting. His old man had never been there for him in any sense of the word.

“Alright babygirl, your turn.” Jake beckons you to take Neteyam’s place as he lends you his bow.

“He’s gonna come out behind those big rocks,” Your father instructs. He grabs your arm and moves it just a bit higher, steadying your aim with his firm grip. “Slowly, steady. Watch your aim.” You squint your eyes, focusing your sight as the fish comes to sight, stuck between the current and the rocks. With a deep breath, you release your hold, striking it right through its body.

“Good job, sweetheart. Go get it!” He shouts, giving you a big smooch on the cheek as he pushes you to claim your hunt. You giggle, feeling absolutely proud.

As you and Neteyam proudly display the fish you have both caught, he watches with a big smile. “My mighty fishermen, now let’s go home and show mama.”

Bracelets were enough to make his kids happy back then; beads and trinkets he found along his hunts. They would keep it for years to come and Jake thought he had cracked the code. But the gifts turned to few and then none and the ones they kept had burned along the crossfire. He became stricter– tougher on them.

He knew being a marine best than a father.

When his children looked at him, it wasn’t of love— he wasn’t dense with how their shoulders stiffened around him. Jake thought it was a good thing, to keep them all in a straight line, for them to learn discipline early. But as they grew older, they were getting harder to reach and no amount of presents could make them come back.

“Lo’ak started it!” Your eyebrows were heavily knitted, fangs bared as you showed him the broken bracelet. You tightly held onto the beads, afraid that you’d lose more of it.

Your brother had immediately turned defensive, shoulders tense. “If you hadn’t been in the way, it would’ve been avoided!”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Jake quickly interrupted you both, massaging his temples. “One night. One night without any of you bickering. You’re older, __, why can’t you be the bigger person?”

Your heart sank a little. You weren’t growing younger and so was your dad. Jake never took the time to craft, unlike before. The bracelet was from him and it would’ve made you feel better if he had listened.

“No more of this, you hear me? It’s just some stupid bracelet. Jesus Christ.”

Jake wasn’t perfect. He knows that– knows his children deserve better. He fears that when people ask them of him, they’d tell them how great of an olo’eyktan he is– how he fought against the sky-people, but never how he was as a father.

Your father loves you– loves everyone dearly. He would burn the whole world for his children– but the thing about fathers, they have an odd way of showing it.

As they finally near the large battleship, his hand pressed on the pager. “Babygirl, do you hear me?”

Your head perked up at the static coming from the pager discarded on the table right in front of you. Your body jerked against the binds desperately, “Yes, yes– sir I’m here!”

But he couldn’t hear you, not without you pressing on its button in return.

“If you’re listening, I’m coming, okay? Mama and I are coming to get you.”

You let out a stuttered breath, the beginnings of a sob bubbling up from somewhere deep inside you. It was no use anyway. You felt deflated as you sank down into your chair. Tears welled in your eyes, building itself up like a dam.

Jake anxiously waited on the other line, expecting to hear something back from you, but all he heard was the thump of his own racing heartbeat resonating in his ear as time seemed to stand still. His lips trembled as he softly spoke again, “I love you, kid. You know that, right?”

But you didn’t. You didn’t since everyone arrived at Awal’tu and for months, this was the first time you’ve heard of it again. It made your chest tighten in response, stomach knotting.

Oh Eywa, you missed your father. Missed him dearly.

This one time he had told you he had loved you. This one time where you needed to hear it the most and you couldn’t say it back. It’s true that your father had stopped being affectionate– but you’ve grown and stopped being as loving as you were as a kid too. You will always be your parent’s child– your daddy’s girl.

“I love you too.”

Life was so much simpler back then, and if Jake had just spoken to you, he may have figured out that his words had more value than any presents he could find. He fears that he might be too late.

“We have to split up.”

“Split up?” Kiri shouts incredulously, holding onto Tuk tightly.

“There are at least three ships here, she has to be in at least one of them.”

“We’ll take the one from the south,” Ao’nung says, Tsireya quickly trailing behind. Kiri groans, knowing she couldn’t do anything but follow. Roxto followed her as they all nodded to each other, speaking in unsaid terms. Be safe. Please.

Lo’ak trots ahead, letting out another eager yip as they make their way towards the distant ship far up north. You had to be on one of them. You had to.

As he stealthily moves through the area, searching every nook and cranny, Lo’ak is determined to find you, leaving no stone unturned nor any corners checked. The lack of people around was suspicious and it made the atmosphere more eerie. As he scanned every cell, his eyes caught a battered Na’vi, head hung low– you. Quickly, he broke down the door with heavy locks.

“Lo’ak!”

“__!” He immediately rushes to you, taking off the restraints with brute force. Without a second thought, you engulfed him in a hug, nearly pushing him off his feet while he frantically searched for any serious injury, eyes swiftly scanning the cuts on your skin. “We have to go now.”

Both of you hurriedly try to exit the ship, steps heavily thumping across the metal floors. It was silent. Too silent. Like there hadn’t been a war at all. The ship was quiet, other than the crashing waves and footsteps. Not to mention the lack of recoms surrounding the area, you grew more and more nervous. “Where’s dad? He’s–”

“On another ship, we have to go.” He pulled you closer the edge where his Ilu had been waiting,

“Lo’ak, we’re not leaving him, are we?”

“Dad can handle it, I’m only here to take you home. Now please, come with me–”

“I know you don’t want to leave him too.” his lips drew into a thin line in response, immediately growing silent. His heart was thumping wildly, knowing that the decision was his to make. “Lo’ak, we can’t leave him.”

“Fuck it. Let’s go.”

“Run– run, go!” Lo’ak's call was still echoing in your head as you sprinted, bullets whizzing past in all directions. Fear and adrenaline coursed through your veins as you darted and weaved throughout the area, momentarily hiding behind a steel wall.

Both of you had been searching for Jake and everyone but despite your best efforts, the only thing you were ever able to find was more trouble. What was supposed to be a relatively straightforward endeavor had quickly become an arduous task. You feared for your life and your brother’s.

“We have to jump now, __.” He pulls you out from your thoughts, panting heavily.

“We haven’t found dad yet or anyone– they could be in danger!”

“Listen, I’m not about to lose you in another dumb decision of mine. We’re going, do you understand?” He tugs on your wrists tightly. The look on his face told you that his decision wasn’t open for any negotiation anymore– this was about you and your safety. You offer a solemn nod, feeling a knot forming in your chest as your frown deepens.

As the shots come to an end, the avatars begin to disperse, frantically searching for both of you. Lo'ak forcefully pulls you to your feet and dashes towards the edge ready to take a leap, but the ship lets out a sharp screech as it leans further and further downwards into the vast ocean, both of you caught completely off guard. Water quickly rushes up to bathe the deck in a sea of white froth and foam, its relentless waves rocks the boat back and forth so harshly that you fall to your knees.

Lo’ak frantically looks around for something to hold onto, but it all happens too quickly; just as his hands latch onto a railing, it snaps and he begins to tumble along with the current and down an open trapdoor. He quickly holds on to its rusty edge, “__!”

You immediately slide towards him, grabbing his wrist. “I got you, just hang on.” While your other hand clutched your bloodied side, you groaned as you felt the skin surrounding it stretch, ripping more and more as you tried to hold on. “Lo’ak, please.”

“I can’t– I can’t!” Both your grips are loosening and you choked out a sob, feeling absolutely helpless. You could feel it– his fingers slowly slipping from your wrist. Your heart hammered on your chest as you extended your other hand.

“Brother please, grab my other hand,”

Another wave crashes towards both of you, and in that moment your grip on his wrist slips. You can feel the panic rise within you as you shout out his name desperately. His body falls, water completely engulfing him.

Without any hesitation, you jump down after him.

You hastily scramble out of the water, eyes wide and scanning the wreckage that surrounds you for any sign of Lo'ak. All around you there is nothing but the ship itself, pushing you down with it. It loudly creaks once again, the sound vibrating off the walls.

You try to regain your composure– breathing slowly and steadying the beat of your heart, only for it to race yet again as another body emerges from the water, coughing violently.

“Lo’ak–!”

“I can’t find an exit.” He says, breathing heavily.

“I’ll go check again, you stay here.” The water was already rising and your frantic state wasn’t helping.

you said as the water level began to climb higher and higher. Your frantic state wasn’t helping either of your cause, but there was no time to think of that now. In order for the two of you to make it out alive, one of you had to remain calm and focused. You had to be just that– the bigger person. The big sister Lo’ak needs right now.

“No! You’re bleeding, I’ll go look.” He protests and you both exchange banters.

“I am your older sister, Lo’ak, listen to me– just let me do this.”

“I don’t care. You’re hurt already.”

“Lo’ak, don’t be so stubborn right now.”

“I’m a better swimmer than you!”

“Why are you being so stubborn, just stay here–!”

“Just let me do this for you, Neteyam!”

And that stuns you both.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He croaks, the words barely escaping his trembling lips. His guilt is palpable in the air as he hangs his head low in shame, trying to swallow the lump in his throat that is threatening to choke him. Lo’ak had to let it out now. Now that you’re here– now that you and him might never come out alive. “Maybe if I didn’t insist on coming there, we would still be back at home– with him. Maybe if I didn’t force everyone to come along, he would not have the need to save us.”

“Lo’ak, please..”

“But I did– I did, and now he’s gone. I lost him and I can’t lose you too,” You stayed there, like the water surrounding you was anchoring you on that very spot. You could only stare at him as he poured his every guilt. Your heart ached for Lo’ak– Lo’ak, your baby brother. Lo’ak who tried so desperately to be seen. “It’s my fault, __. I was just so jealous– so jealous that I forced you to join in because maybe then, you’d want to spend time with me too. I wanted what you had with Neteyam, what Kiri was to Tuk.”

“But I miss him, I miss my brother so bad.” Lo’ak continues to weep, tugging on his hair– hurting himself. “I hate that my body didn’t move towards you– towards him that night. Maybe then, I would’ve said goodbye. Maybe then, I would’ve told him I was sorry.”

You slowly swam to him, awkwardly taking his hands. Siblings were such a funny concept. They could say the harshest, most meanest thing– hurt you to an extent because they know you more than anyone else. But they would do anything– absolutely anything, just to keep you safe. Hell, would give a kidney if it means that you’d live. You miss Neteyam, terribly so, but does losing him make you less of a sister?

“I’m sorry, __. I’m sorry that it took me this long to tell you this, but every time you looked at me, all I could see was him. I miss Neteyam. I miss home. I want to go home.”

“We’re going home, okay?” You pull him close in your arms, burying your head on the curve of his neck as you try to contain a sob. “I see you, brother.”

“I’ve been nothing but difficult.” You feel his breath hitch as he tries to steady his breathing, heartbeat slowing down. “I don’t like how everyone has become since he died.”

“Me too, Lo’ak. Me too.” You whisper, rubbing circles on his back. “I’m so sorry. I’m here now.”

As the two of you hold each other tightly, the water continues to rise around you with no sign of relenting. You both know that it will only be a matter of time until this ship finally gives in to its fate and sinks beneath the surface yet neither of you want to let go. There was something comforting with having Lo’ak near now that he had spoken of his troubles– something light.

“We’re going home.”

This was it, you thought, this is the end.

☆ mauve here! i know this has been long overdue ;( BUT FINALLY, IT'S HERE. don't really know if i should be adding another chapter or just stop with an open ending hahah hopefully this was painful enough because my brain is bleeding and i can't wait to start another series. -

please tell me how i did! i really enjoy interacting w my moots nd readers ;( it's like a reward (ALSO i'm sorry if i forgot to tag someone! some of the names don't really pop up too ;(

smooch!

tags: @eywas-heir @aonungsmate @cappsikle @dearstell @minkyungseokie @wwwellacom @aleracrovn @fangzyz @bobojojoba69 @alohastitch0626 @gcldtom @dumb-fawkin-bitch @navs-bhat @jo1818 @ladylovegood-69 @kahlowy @neteyamforlife @mochiivqi @heart-an0n @strnger @abbersreads @historygeekqueen @anxietydrogz @kau7itz @winxschester @1mawh0re @thefirst-ofus @tsoomie @wheeeelys @lunamhm565i @ayanelisa @sully-stick-together @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @jackiehollanderr @dreamsholdpowers @aimsro @violilaqrs

#mauve writes ☆#family angst #family feels #sully family x sister!reader #jake sully x daughter!reader #neytiri x daughter!reader #neteyam x sister!reader #lo'ak x sister!reader #kiri x sister!reader #tuk x sister!reader #angst #avatar #avatar 2009 #avatar the way of water #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #jake sully #reader!sully

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r3starttt · 3 months

Text

Don’t delete the kisses

a/n: I got my inspo from “See You In My 19th Life” also, felt too personal. Basically reader inspired on me lol

Pt 2. | Prt.3 | Prt.4

Warnings: mentions of bullying, suicide, lots of angst and fluff

“I see the signs of a lifetime, you ‘til I die”

You’ve had seventeen lives so far. You’ve been all kinds of people in all kinds of places, and you always remember each one of them. It always happens for different reasons, it could be a smell that reminded you of a perfume, a new dish that apparently you’ve already tried before, a face that felt familiar, a song that made you feel weirdly in love.

At first it was horrifying, it was so confusing and you made so many mistakes. You told people about it. You tried to find your loved ones, tried to approach to them again because your heart still missed them. But eventually you learned to handle it. Eventually the pain of past life losses disappeared and you just learned to ignore your not so nice gift.

You’ve also learned to adapt to every life, which was becoming easier every time because the knowledge, talents and hobbies from every life apparently stayed with you. Maybe it was your soul?

You stopped having complains and learned to value and enjoy everything. You appreciated every mistake you made because it helped you learn for a future life, you enjoyed feeling everything so deeply because it would help you remember the next time you reincarnate, you showed your love for everyone and did everything you wished so you wouldn’t have any regrets. You learned to be positive and take advantage of everything that was offered to you on each life.

Until now.

Ever since you were a child you’ve felt empty. Loved but not enough to fill your heart, admired but feeling like you’re not worth it, with friends that care for you and a lovely family that provides you all you need and all you could ever ask for but feeling like you don’t deserve them. Maybe you were born sad?

It seems like your whole life happened in the blink of an eye. Maybe it’s the sadness that hasn’t allowed you to enjoy this life properly, but where does that come from?

Maybe you’ve got used to sadness so much that you don’t know how to handle it on this life? It’s frustrating, not even all the knowledge in the world, all the abilities you’ve learned and your old soul can handle such feeling. It’s the first thing you’ve been unable to control, ever.

There is a reason why it got out of control though. When you were eleven you were bullied by your whole class, including some professors. And it didn’t matter how much privilege you had, neither you or your parents could do anything about it.

That’s the moment all the lonely, angry and sad in you became overwhelming, the moment you started to believe in god again just to beg him every day to kill you, to let you die.

And even if that was almost ten years ago it still haunts you. The humiliation, the anger, the loneliness. And you can’t handle it, not because you don’t know how to, but because your body doesn’t allow you to.

Your heart always reminds you of it, like it happens with your past lives, there’s always a smell, a word, an action. The way those kids made you feel, they things those adults said to you, the way your parents broke in tears when you first told them, the awkwardness at home whenever they tried to make you talk to them. It all stuck to you forever.

“What if it’s not meant for me? Love”

However there was someone that was worth trying to live. Her name is Ellie, and you’ve been dating her for some years now.

She’s your childhood best friend, the person you trust the most on this world and the only one that doesn’t make you feel overwhelmed. Your girlfriend and the lover you’ve feel more connected to or all your lives.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” You’re both laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and talking about random stuff, whatever goes trough your minds “Or…. reincarnation”

“None of them, do you?” you could see her moving her head towards you from the corner of your eye “Yeah, I’d like us to be soulmates and find each other on each life” a chuckle came out of Ellie’s mouth “you’re so cheesy ughh” you laughed back, kicking her shoulder with your arm to which she complained.

“I know but, I’ve never loved someone this much el” you turned your head too, smiling at the look of Ellie’s shy smile and and her slightly tainted cheeks “you’ve really saved my life, you know it” Just as those words were spoken, her face changed completely.

“all good?”

You could see the worry on her face, in the way her eyes studied yours and on the pout that slowly appeared. You just sighed back, hesitating a bit and debating if you should tell her the truth or not.

“It’s probably my birthday, I’ll be fine” the reassurment in your voice didn’t seem to convince her, so you spoke again “el, things have been good in the past few years, it’s not gonna change suddenly”

“What if they do?” she’s right, what if they do?

“They won’t, I would already know and I would tell you, I promise” you do know, but you won’t tell her, not now.

“You tell me to get over it and to take you out, but I can’t and I’m too scared. “

You’ve tried to take your life some years ago, before Ellie and you started to date. Honestly, to this day you still don’t know how you managed to not die. It was late at night, right before your birthday, it always makes you feel extremely sad for some reason, you believe is the fear of growing up, of things getting harder.

“And here’s the night bus, I have to go. And the doors are closing and you’re waving”

You’ve had that feeling for over a month. All your healing process falling apart just for your birthday? you still feel ashamed about it. You just took some random blade you’d saved for this moment and started to practically stab your wrists.

All your thoughts mixed with the weirdly feeling of pain and satisfaction and the blood dripping down your arms blinded you, and in the blink of an eye you just loose the balance and fainted.

But you promised yourself that if you didn’t make it back then, you would try it again, no matter what. Or at least you tried to convince yourself.

“What if it’s not meant for me? Love”

“What are you gonna gift me?” you decided to better change the topic before your thoughts could overwhelm any of you “What do you want?” Her hands tangle with yours.

“You haven’t got me anything yet?” a laugh scapes your mouth “I do but…. I don’t know” Ellie loved handmade gifts, however she always does something different for you. “You know I love your gifts el, you can give me a rock and I would admire it forever”

Your hands slowly move from Ellie’s, cupping her face and making her look at you. She’s so pretty, with the light of the sun coming through the window snd hitting her freckles just perfect, making her eyes look shiny too.

“So you want a rock then?” of course she had to make jokes, she can’t handle romantic moments, gets to nervous. You just roll your eyes.

“You know, a perfect gift would be that you stopped using those crusty converse” she immediately groans, pushing your hands away from her face and leaning on her back

“What’s wrong with them?”

“They smell, they’re broken and they’re dirty as fuck because you never clean them”

“They don’t smell! and I glued them recently”

“Ellie, please”

“But don’t call me by my full name”

“I’m not! And I’ve always called you Ellie”

“No you haven’t, you call me El”

“El, please buy some new converse for my birthday”

“And what do I get for doing it?”

“Your girlfriends happiness”

“I think that’s a sign. I’m losing self control and it’s you”

And that’s how you it was for the rest of the day. Ellie pouting every time you teased her but calling you dramatic if you said anything about her teasing you. Also, Ellie suddenly telling you random facts about dinosaurs and space and just random stuff in general.

That was the las time you saw her, until your birthday. She’d come earlier than anyone else to have more time alone with you. It’s not that you had many friends but your family always came too so they’d keep you busy all day.

A day before you were looking through your closet, finding all the cute gifs Ellie had made you, admiring the details of all her drawings and reading the letters. Watching all the Polaroids your mom took of you two, the gift she made for you when she asked you to be her girlfriend, a bracelet she gifted you when you asked her to be her friend, a letter you made for her from when you first fought.

And it made you feel horrible, because the decision was already made, the letters for all the people you cared about were already written and saved in your desk. Your phone was already unlocked so everyone could have access to it, your room was tidy and your closet clean.

You were just waiting for her, for tomorrow, for all your family to be together when you left so it would be hopefully easier to everyone. For everyone to be there and get their letters, for Ellie to not be alone when she got the news, for your parents and your girlfriend to be comforted by each other’s presence.

You went downstairs, looking for Ellie since you heard your parents already speaking with her. They were all siting at the dining room.

It made your heart melt to see you happy she looked the moment she saw you. Her eyes, her pretty nose scrunching a little, her smile widening.

“Can I see my gift already?” Your parents laughed in disbelief, telling you to at lest greet her properly before asking her about a gift.

“Your parents told me you’ll open them later” she chuckled, looking at your parents and then back at you, you did the same.

You stepped closer to her, grabbing her hands and taking her to your room.

“Can you at least tell me what is it? I’ll act surprised I promise”

“A rock”

“Haha so funny el”

You closed the door behind you, watching Ellie sitting on your bed. She just stared at you, with puppy eyes of course. You really hoped you wouldn’t remember this when you reincarnated, or at least that It wouldn’t hurt as much as it does right now.

“What’s that box?” her finger pointed at the box you were just looking trough last night. You walked towards it and took it to the bed, sitting besides Ellie.

“All your gifts” she looked at you in pure shock “This is something I did for you when we were like…. Seven or something, why’d you still have it?”

“My mom saved all this things, it’s cute isn’t?”

“I feel exposed”

“What’s wrong with it? I love all of it”

“Your gift is not gonna fit in here”

“So it’s not a rock and defined not a new pair or converse” your eyes moved towards Ellie’s shoes, she just sighed

“Stop it, you’re the only one that notices them”

“My parents do, my mom asked my why you never changed them” that was a lie, but how could Ellie know?

You did the same thing as last nigh, take a final look to all the gifts that Ellie had made to you, not now with her. You’d made fun of her and she would just frown her eyebrows and eventually pout if she felt really ashamed of it. You’d make her read the letters out loud and ask her about the process of every draw she’d made of you.

“This letter is for me, why didn’t you give it to me?” Now you understood the feeling, karma. “We fought, I decided it was better to apologize in person” her hands leaned the letter towards you, making you read it out loud just as you’d made her do to you.

“January 13 2020” you stopped as she laughed “don’t laugh, you wanted me to read it I’ll read every detail then”

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you mad, I’m still not sure what it was- Ellie, you’re such a dramatic person”

“Me? You’re the one that’s dramatic for making a whole letter even though you hate writing just to randomly apologize”

“This just proves how much I love you, shut up”

“Right, keep reading”

“I’m still not sure what it was, but I feel like apologizing because Dina told me how much you’ve been crying and how awful I made you feel-“ you got interrupted by a loud gasp

“Why would Dina told you?” She slapped her hands on her face, groaning “only fucking fake friends these days” you laughed

“Hey don’t say that! I love Dina, she’s the sweetest and I bet she also tells you all I tell her about you, you’re overreacting for something that happened three years ago”

“You speak about me with her?” You nodded

“I want you to know that I’m so fucking grateful for having someone like you in my life. For a long time you were the only one that made me laugh, the only one that made me feel happy and loved and like life was worth it. You’re the reason I keep trying” you could feel the knot of tears forming in your throat, so painful “I feel like you got mad for what I said, but I want you to know that I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I wanted you to know how I truly felt about you and us and my life. I didn’t want to lie to you, I can’t. I was hoping you could understand that I didn’t tell you that before because I was afraid of how would you react, because I care for you snd I don’t want you to get hurt just for my weakness-“

The door of the room got opened after some small knocks were heard. Everyone had got there already. You didn’t realize how long you’ve been in your room with Ellie, totally worth it though.

You just saved the letter in the box again. You’ve purposely let it in your room for Ellie to take a look of it later that day, for her to have something left from you.

You both went downstairs again, Ellie went with your friends and you went to greet each family member, having some small talk with everyone and thanking them for being here.

And the time today felt extremely fast. Maybe this was the first birthday you’ve properly enjoyed, maybe you were excited or anxious, maybe it was the calm you’ve felt for the first time in years, maybe-

“I wanna eat the cake already, can’t you hurry them?” Ellie’s hands positioned around your waist, hugging you from behind and pulling you closer to her. You could see her pretty face resting on your shoulder, staring at you.

“You smell like gummies” you smiled without even realizing, now looking at Ellie. Her lips pressed in yours, the sour and sweet flavor invading your tongue “I ate gummies”.

“There’s tons of food El, why don’t you just eat something that’s not candy? Instead of asking for cake that by the way you won’t get to eat” she pinched your stomach slightly “why won’t I get to eat cake?” “I don’t think there’s enough for everyone

“I deserve it more than them, I’ve been with you, listening to your annoying voice every day” now you pinched her back “shut up or you really won’t get any”

“Do we really have to stay here with everyone? Your grandpa freaks me out” you chuckled “stop being rude to my family” “do we?” “let’s go outside”

And so you walked to the small garden behind your house, sitting on the cold grass with Ellie

“You seem happier this year…. do you feel happier?” you can see her toying with her fingers, staring at them to avoid eye contact “are you worried about me?” your gaze is now focused on your family, inside the house. You can see your friends almost eating each other on the closest window, it makes you laugh.

“The letter…. am I really that important to you?”

“You’re my best friend since forever el, you’re my girlfriend, why wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know, I thought I didn’t help you at all”

“You do”

You turned around again, facing Ellie. She was picking the grass. How were you supposed to leave her? How were you supposed to ever live without her?

You grabbed her face with your hands, pulling her closer for a kiss. Her lips felt just perfect for yours, her skin was so soft, her face just the right size for your hands to fit, her hair the right strength for you to feel it every time you two kissed. You couldn’t do this to her

You tried to break the kiss, but her hands moved behind your back, pulling you closer to her again and deepening the kiss. You could feel her smile trough the kiss, she’s so fucking pretty.

“I love you Ellie, I’ve always loved you, don’t ever doubt it” she laughs in confusion “I love you too” It was the third time you probably said it out loud, you really wished you would’ve told her sooner.

“I’m electric, a romantic cliché”

“Take this, I was planning on give it to you later but…. I guess it’s the right time” you looked confused at her, she was looking for something on her hoodie pockets. A rock

Maybe you should wait, just a little more, just for her.

The rock was painted with your favorite colors, it was your face. Why is she so lovely? Why can’t her love fill your heart? What’s wrong with you?

She slowly puts it on your hands, studying your face, looking for any reaction. You lean on her, hugging her as both of your bodies fall on the grass. You can’t see her but she’s definitely smiling.

“I can’t imagine a life without you Ellie, don’t ever dear to leave me” she thought you were just being romantic because of the gift, but you mean it, you hope you fin her always and forever. To hopefully have the life you won’t be able to enjoy with her this time.

Her hands rubbing your back, her nose smelling your perfume, nuzzling on your neck “I won’t, I promise”

“Let’s go for the cake, I can hear your stomach” you rest your arms on the grass, positioning each one besides Ellie’s face and giving her another kiss. Her eyes look so pretty.

The sky turns orange as you get inside the house again. You hate this part of the day because it means it’s almost over, and today specially you want everything but the day to end. You hope every smiley face in the house can forgive you for what you’re about to do, you hope they understand.

So now you’re siting in the middle of the table, with everyone you love around you as they sing happy birthday to you. Ellie is sitting besides you, taking pictures of you. And you can only thank her in a small whisper, and thank the universe in your mind for letting her have that picture as her last memory of you.

The minute the song is over everyone claps, watching you turn off the candle. You always wished for happiness, but today you’re just wishing for forgiveness. Your smile is wide, it hurts to lie to everyone there.

Before your mom cuts the cake for you as she usually did, you grab the knife and cut a big slice of cake for Ellie. “Can we open the gifts?” you ask loudly to everyone, knowing that way your parents wouldn’t make you wait more.

Everyone’s eating cake, sitting on the couches in the living room, most men in the room staring up, Ellie sitting besides you on the floor and offering you to open the gifts to “help you” but you know she’s just gossiping.

Whenever you didn’t like a gift you’d look at Ellie and she’s look back at you, like you could communicate with each other just with your eyes. She’d laugh and pass you another gift.

If you did like a gift then she’d take it from you and would stare at every detail of it. She’d separate discreetly the ones you liked from the ones you didn’t, she’d usually keep those or Insist you on selling them online.

However the more gifts you opened the more anxious you got. “Where’s your gift el?” you whispered as your mom passed you another gift, that seemed to be the last one. But it was way to small to be from Ellie “mine goes last, open that one, come on”

And so you did, it was a set of some pink pijamas, and the moment you opened them you turned your face at Ellie, she was already laughing “Shut up”

“Wait, there one more” you heard your mom speaking as she walked to the kitchen. Everyone looked at her, waiting to see what it was.

She returned with a big rectangular canvas. Did she just made a huge fucking painting for me? you thought, looking back at Ellie who seemed clearly nervous.

“I’ll give you the letter later, I didn’t want to get exposed in front of your whole family” she whispers

You take the canvas and turn it around. It was a portrait of a picture she took of you the day she asked you to date. It was so detailed, so colorful and just so right. You showed it proudly to your family. Everyone cheered Ellie and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her shy face, her cheeks covered in blush as she looked at her fingers, just as she did whenever she felt nervous. Your friends making fun of Ellie and you for being so “adorable” as you heard them say.

And the rest of the night Ellie just stood close to you, listening to everyone share all the fun memories and stories they had with you. She shared ridiculous things she’d lived with you, making you cover your face ashamed. But also making you laugh as she always did.

And you couldn’t be more grateful at the end of the day because finally, for one whole day you could finally be happy again, you didn’t felt pressured or anxious or sad or overwhelmed at all, and you were with everyone you loved. You could finally go, you were just waiting for living one happy moment in your life before you took such an important decision, and this was it. Today had been all you’ve ever wished for.

So when everyone left and your parents stayed cleaning you could only feel peacefulness overcoming your body. You went to your room and laid on your bed, Ellie was still there. She had to give you her letter and you couldn’t leave without reading it.

The big canvas was already in your room, right next to your bed. You were cuddling her as you read the letter.

“Happy birthday baby. I hope this year can be different, I hope you can get better, I hope you can be happier, and I hope I’m still here every day to see you smile more and more.

I remember starting the painting and regretting immediately because it was gonna take so long and I’m lazy as fuck. But I made it :)

I had to lie to you many times and tell you Joel needed my help with some stuff just so I could finish it, hope you didn’t get mad at it.

I’ve been noticing you off lately, but if I’m honest I’m too scared to ask. But you know you can always tell me anything, I’ll always understand and I’ll always listen, no judgment.

I’m proud of you for making it another year, and I’m the happiest person ever because I have you and I’m watching you try again and again. I know you’ll get better.

I still remember how nervous I was when I asked you to date, I can’t stop thinking about it lately, maybe it’s because of the painting? but I feel the same even after dating you for years, too cliche for you make me feel the butterflies on the stomach, a lot.

I’m glad we’ve got to grow up together, I can’t imagine this life without you. The other day you told me about this, about reincarnation and soulmates, I don’t believe on it, but if it’s real I’ll make sure I’m with you always. I promise.

I can’t wait for your birthday, I wanna see your reaction and I’m containing so much for not telling you already what it is. If you’re reading this then I didn’t regret writing you this or you found it without me noticing like you did last year, don’t do that again pls :(

Anyway, I want you to know that you’re the fucking best, the prettiest girl ever and I love you so fucking much.

Ellie :)”

She saw how you folded the letter, looking at your face for any response “I love you so fucking much too” you moved your head slightly up so you could properly kiss her. You’ve never kissed her so much in one day, you also wished you would.

She stares back at you, with those puppy eyes you love so much, and her dumb smile now a bit shiny due to the kiss.

Her hand moves to your neck, pressing your head on top of her chest. Her other hand moved to the puffy pink blanket that you had in your bed, moving it up to cover both of your bodies. Your hand moves on top of of her tattoo, caressing it softly with your thumb.

And before you realize you two fall asleep, not knowing how your life’s were about to change in less than twenty four hours.

Maybe it was the anxiety coming back but you woke up earlier than usual. You slowly removed Ellie’s arms from yours, placing them over your pillows.

You stood there for some minutes, just staring at her, at her gift next to your bed. Were you being selfish?

You slowly walked towards your desk, picking the letters and placing them on top of it so everyone could see them easily, you also placed your phone on top of them. This was it.

You hated yourself for not waiting for Ellie to leave, for making her see it and be there, but you had waited enough already.

You walked quietly and slowly to the bed, placing Ellie’s letter besides her. Then you walked to the bathroom, locking yourself in it just in case anyone woke up and went to look for you.

You regretted not taking your phone with you, maybe some music would help.

You slowly remove your clothes. You hear the water run. There’s so thoughts on your head right now.

You don’t even realize but the cuts are already there, making the blood run all over the tub and covering your body with it. Your eyes close and the only sound echoing in your ears is your own breathing.

This is nothing like what you’ve done before, this is it.

“Dear loved Ellie. El, Els

I love you so much, don’t ever forget it, don’t ever doubt it. I’m always gonna be with you and I promise, I swear that we’ll meet again. Please read this first before you do anything else. I’m probably not in bed right now, I knew you would stay, don’t panic.

Ever since you know me I’ve been sad, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I told you how I remember mas past lives when we were younger, remember? and you just laughed at me, but I want you to believe it this time. And I want you to never forget me, I want you to meet me again, in another universe where I’m happy and we can get to live anything we didn’t lived here.

I waited just for you, I tried my best, I promised myself I would only try once, and if I failed then I would take it as a signal to say, but I can’t.

Your jokes, your laugh, your pretty face, the songs you played for me with your guitar, you made me stay and try so many times, but I gave up.

I can’t live lifte this forever, and it hurts me deeply to leave you, because you don’t deserve this and I don’t want to leave, but the pain I feel every day is bigger than what I want.

It’s not your fault, it’s no one’s fault actually.

You told me that whenever I could say things out loud I should write them, but never keep them just for myself, and so I’m doing it right now, hoping you, Dina, Jesse, my mom, my dad, my family, you all understand. I know you will.

I want you to find someone else to make happy, some one that’s worth your fucking amazing and pretty self, someone else that truly deserves your time and your jokes, and your songs on your guitar. Someone that stays with you forever.

I feel so ashamed, I just couldn’t say to anyone out loud how tired I felt, how badly I wanted to die. How my first and kiss though if the day was death, how exhausted I feel every day for no reason. I can’t tell you that the moment you leave I feel overwhelmed again, I feel weak and alone. I just can’t.

I also wanna thank you for being with me every time, for teaching me how to live, for not giving up on me and for being always with me.

I remember the first time we kissed, the first time we slept with each other, how shy you got after that and how much you wanted to tell me but couldn’t so I found out by reading your diary. How mad you got for me reading it but how much you thanked me once we did it. I remember every single one of our dates. I remember the first time you talked to me and I talked to you, the first time you slept and my house and the first time I slept at yours. I never forgot anything, I won’t ever forget.

I remember how you told me you wanted to go to college just so you could work and make us my dreamed house, with an art studio for both of us and a room to have many cats. How you told me that you didn’t want any kids but since you dated me you could only think of having a cute baby that looked just like me. How you got mad when I told you I wanted my last name to go first.

And I want you to live that with someone that’s really worth it.

I’m so sorry for making you stay with me for so long, for making you waist your best years of adolescence and childhood trying to cure me and my sadness. And I’m sorry I’m leaving you like this. But I know you’ll understand.

Words cannot express how much I adore you, how happy you made me, how much I’m in love with you.

Please forgive me.

I swear we’ll meet again, I swear I won’t leave you again, I swear I’ll stay.”

She woke up your parents, your dad unlocked the door. They couldn’t take it.

Now they didn’t understand. Why would you do this? Why didn’t you tell anyone? Did you ever asked for help and they didn’t notice?

Why?

Ellie was too broken to cry. She wanted to look at you but her eyes could only stay at your wrists. She could never forget.

Your parents were on their knees, unable to think, unable to move, just crying.

And so was Ellie. She couldn’t believe just a couple of hours ago she was cuddling with you and now you were gone. How did that even work? There could never exist something more terrifying that your parents sobs. Should she leave? Should she stay?

Should she even try anymore?

She felt so much anger, so much desperation and anxiety in her body. She was so shocked she couldn’t do anything else than stare.

You were gone, forever.

It’s been just a month since you died. She’s been unable to move from her bed, not wanting to eat, not wanting to sleep, feeling dead. She’s been reading your letter nonstop, over and over again, almost memorizing it already.

And your parents? Your family? They’re all broken, how could any of this even happen?

Your funeral was shocking for everyone. Everything had happened so fast, in less then a week, just right after your birthday.

Did you really had to do this?

Everyone felt so sick, for not knowing, for not saying a proper last goodbye to you, for not giving you a proper gift, for not taking enough pictures and videos of you, for not speaking to you enough that last day. For not noticing snd for not helping you.

And Ellie could only hope that she’ll meet you again as you always assured her. That all this pain will disappear eventually. That the love she feel for you would actually help her.

“Me and you were meant to be in love. I see the signs of a lifetime, you ‘til I die”

185 notes · View notes

lesbianrobin · 8 months

Text

i'd be the prom queen (if crying was a contest)

3,561 words

robin & steve: an alternate meeting

“Your 1985 Prom King is, drumroll please..!”

Kids pound their legs and any nearby tables, some stomping wildly in place and others simply screaming until the noise bouncing around inside the gym seems to make her bones rattle. Robin halfheartedly pats her thighs along to the horrendously out of sync drumroll, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. It’s going to be him. It’s going to be him, and she’s going to lose what’s left of her sanity, and then since he’s single now he’ll take Tammy home and they’ll have gross sex and he’ll definitely suck at it and Robin could totally do better even though she’s never kissed anyone before. She’d just be better by default because Steve sucks.

“Steeeeve Harrington!”

The room erupts in a cacophonous mix of cheers and taunts. Robin drains the last of her punch as they lower the crown over his stupid hair, and for what certainly won’t be the last time tonight, she wishes that it had occurred to her to sneak in alcohol before she’d already arrived and gotten a peek at Christina Brown’s “hidden” flask.

“Woo!”

“Yeah, Stevie-boy!”

“Aw, fuck off!”

“Homo!”

“Go Steve!”

It doesn’t escape Robin’s notice that the more encouraging remarks tend to be from female voices, while all of the jeers are male. At least one guy is whistling in support from the back of the room. Steve soaks it all up, the adoration and envy alike, with perfect, shining hair and a pageant smile.The student council president whose old lady name she can never remember shushes everybody so she can announce who won Queen as Steve waves to his adoring fans. Robin doesn’t know most of the nominees. They’re upperclassmen, cheerleaders and high achievers who’ve never given her a second glance.

“Heather Holloway!”

The pretty brunette in a nice pink dress gasps and slaps a hand over her mouth like she’s just won the lottery. People cheer just as loudly as they did for Steve, though nobody heckles her. Steve claps, whoops like he’s not onstage and still way too close to the microphone, and it makes her sick. Heather accepts her crown and sash gracefully before being whisked offstage by some muscular asshole who must be her boyfriend, and the DJ starts up “Time After Time.” Steve takes the stairs down, and Robin forces herself not to follow his path through the crowd. The shitty finger foods on her paper plate are far more interesting than Steve Harrington.

Robin likes Cyndi Lauper alright, but this song just… sucks. It just sucks. It sucks almost as badly as the stale crackers left on her plate now that she’s eaten all the grapes and cheese. God, what did she really expect, getting dropped off at prom by her parents to meet up with a bunch of friends? They ditched her to dance as soon as they got inside, and sure, maybe she could get up and join them, but it just… it just sucks. None of these stupid couples will last after high school, and the ones that do will end up miserable together, but there’s still a jealous pang in her chest whenever Robin looks up to see some girl’s nicely manicured hands laced behind some guy’s neck, the way their ties and dresses match and they lean in close to whisper right into each other’s ears.

“Wanna dance?”

She looks up. The first thing she sees is a glint of light.

“With you?” Robin immediately pinches her own leg through the layers of polyester and tulle that her mother’s forced her into for the occasion. Shit, it stung. It actually stung.

Steve Harrington glances around like he might’ve missed somebody else in the conversation, light glinting off his crown, before shooting her a winning smile. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“No,” she says instinctively.

He frowns, and of course he does because the asshole could never even imagine somebody not wanting to be with him, but his eyes go a little dull, a little tired, a lot sad, and something seizes in her chest, and this is why Robin doesn’t always do well in social situations, because panic seizes her throat and stimulates her vocal cords without her permission.

“No, I meant I don’t mind! So I do. Want to dance.”

The sadness dissipates with an airy Steve Harrington laugh. The winning smile returns as he raises an eyebrow. “With me?”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” she says easily, shoving down the anxiety swirling in her gut and raising a hand because she’s read this script before. She must’ve delivered her line right, because Steve takes it, pulling her lightly to her feet and leading her out onto the dance floor. Her heart pounds faster as they weave their way to the center of the floor. So many people are looking at them already. There’s not a familiar face in sight, which should be statistically impossible for a school this size, but Robin doesn’t know any of these people as more than faces in the hall, and she really should have stuck to her instincts. Why did she take back the “no?” That was the smartest “no” in the history of the world, and she went and screwed it up like she always does.

Steve taps someone on the shoulder, and tugs her through a wall of people, and suddenly they’re right by the stage. Nestled between the speakers it’s almost… intimate. The music is loud, but the people aren’t so much. It’s better. Steve smiles softly as he arranges her arms, taking one hand gently in his own and placing the other on his shoulder. He moves his own hand slowly to her waist, like he’s waiting for her to stop him, and she can’t help but snort.

He makes a face at her and grips her waist properly. “Alright, alright.”

She rolls her eyes. “Well, I said I’d dance, right?”

“Jeez, I can’t be polite?”

There he is. Steve “the Hair” Harrington, asshole extraordinaire. She knew he’d come out sooner rather than later.

“...Why me?” Robin asks, “Steve Harrington couldn’t get a date to the prom?”

She almost regrets her harsh tone when he averts his gaze, pretending to be interested in whatever’s going on over in the little photo studio in the corner of the room. Steve sighs.

“Well, I saw you admiring me all night,” he says with a wry grin, neck craned just a bit, eyes fixed in the corner. Robin’s stomach fills with lead. He’s gonna Carrie her. This is a Carrie somehow. It has to be.

His eyes flick back towards her as he chuckles, then they flick away, still focused on something over her shoulder. It feels cruel, nothing like the laugh she heard earlier, and the hand on her waist is hot like a brand, and he must feel how sweaty her hand is, and this is when he’ll tighten his grip and—

“Kidding. Uh, I don’t know. You looked about as miserable as I am, I guess.”

“What?”

Steve swallows. He finally meets her eyes with a weak grin. “Didn’t want to bring someone down with my shitty mood, but I have to dance. So I figured maybe you wouldn’t mind taking a spin and helping me out. Can’t be worse than just sitting around, right?”

“That’s a pretty big assumption.”

He blinks at her. He smiles, really smiles, and tugs her closer so that they might be able to rest their heads on each other’s shoulders, if they wanted to. She doesn’t.

“What’s your name?” he asks conversationally, like she can’t feel his breath on her shoulder and his hand in hers.

“Robin,” she says, and it sounds so raspy, he probably thinks she’s, like, into this or something, which is pretty much as far from the truth as humanly possible. How did this even happen? She’s been facing the stage most of the time, but Steve has been rotating them as he slowly sways, and now she can see some faces out in the crowd. A few are familiar. A lot are looking at her.

“I’m Steve.”

“No shit,” she bites out, fighting the urge to dig her fingers into his shoulder in the hope of bruising it.

“Okay, yeah,” Steve says placatingly, “Obviously you know that. Uh, you look familiar.”

“Click’s class. You sat, like, right in front of me.”

“Oh. Really?” Steve sounds genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, really.”

“Shit,” he whispers, and she probably wasn’t supposed to hear it, the music as loud as it is, but his mouth is, like, right next to her ear, and it’s not her fault that Harrington doesn’t understand how sound works.

She scoffs. “Relax. I didn’t really expect you to remember me. You never really even looked at me.”

“No, it’s not — ” Steve sighs, and she feels more than sees it when he shakes his head. All she can see is the crowd. There’s Catherine, and Ally, and Jeremy and David and Rachel, all looking at her. He’s stopped rotating them now, sticking to the slow sway, so she’s stuck unless she wants to force him, and instinct tells her that Steve Harrington isn’t someone who lets people force him to do anything.

“ ... just don’t remember a lot of shit, now.”

Her attention snaps back to Steve, to his hand on her waist and face nearly buried in her shoulder. “What?”

“Forget it.”

“Why the shitty mood?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

Tammy Thompson’s wearing blue. Her dress is… awful, honestly, it’s horrendous, like a big blue garbage bag, but she wears it well, like with a smile and a toss of her hair she could make an actual garbage bag look even better.

“Alright,” she finds herself saying. “Then ask.”

“...Okay. So, Robin,” he says, deftly maneuvering the clammy hand he’s cupped in his own so that their fingers are entwined, “Why the shitty mood?”

Tammy’s dancing with Sam Reynolds. They’re just friends, Robin’s pretty sure, or at least they’re nothing serious, but it hurts all the same. She’s absolutely glowing.

“Well, as you can see, I came alone.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time,” Steve counters. “There’s music, and food, and you look absolutely gorgeous.”

Robin can’t help how her face scrunches in disgust. Steve must feel her tense up, because he huffs out a laugh.

“Calm down, I’m not, like, coming on to you. But I can see, you know.”

Tammy looks away from Sam.

Their eyes meet.

Robin freezes, or she tries to, but Steve loosens his grip on her hand and it’s enough to jolt her back into reality. She squeezes both his hand and his shoulder, probably a little too tight, but if it bothers him he doesn’t say anything. Tammy is still looking.

“I didn’t come with the person I wanted to,” she says. It’s the truth, but it leaves the same sharp, sick aftertaste as a lie. An opening. Asking to get caught.

“Guess I don’t have to give you my answer now,” Steve says lightly.

“Yeah?” she asks.

Tammy’s lipstick is just on the tasteful side of pink. Just a bit brighter, just a bit more eye makeup, and it would be garish, but of course it isn’t, because it’s Tammy. She licks her lips, so quickly Robin can barely even see. What does her lipstick taste like? Is it bitter? Or is it decent enough that she can wet her lips whenever she’d like without worrying about washing the taste out of her mouth later? She’ll wear it away, then, and Robin can’t help picturing it, Tammy leaning in close to the mirror to reapply, and what if they ran into each other in the ladies’ room, and Tammy asked if she could be a doll and help her out?

“Well, no point in repeating ourselves.” Steve takes a harsh breath, and it’s weird, being so close to another person that she can feel his chest expanding just a bit more than it has been. They’re so close, and she should be uncomfortable, and she is, technically, in the sense that her shoes are pinching and her dress is hot and the whole room smells like sweat, but Steve’s hand in hers isn’t too bad. Pathetically enough, it’s almost nice. She’s so desperate and lonely that even Steve “the Hair” Harrington holding her hand is a comfort.

Tammy hasn’t broken eye contact yet. There’s something in her gaze, though, something Robin’s never seen directed at herself before. Tammy frowns at her, pulls Sam in close, and shuts her eyes as she continues to dance.

No point in repeating themselves. She might be hopeless, but Steve Harrington didn’t get the girl, either.

“That’s really it? You just won Prom King, and you can’t get over whatever girl turned you down this week?”

“You know, you’re kinda harsh, Robin.”

Robin might be hopeless, but she also has a mean streak. She shrugs, and Steve’s hand moves from her waist to rest on her back, like he might pull her into a hug at any minute, and it feels better. Less performative.

He continues, “I don’t think that’s really it for you either.”

“It’s not.”

“Well, there’s your answer.”

Robin shakes her head. “You know, you can’t just keep dodging questions with other questions forever.”

“Who said anything about forever? The song’s at least halfway over.”

She hums like she’s disappointed. “One and done, huh?”

It’s the third time Steve’s laughed since they first started talking, and this one makes Robin smile too. He shoves his forehead against her shoulder for a second, shaking, before he lifts his head again and says, “We really never talked in Click’s class?”

“Uh, not unless you count that time I dropped my paper and you said, hey, is this yours, and I said yeah, and you handed it back to me. That was pretty much it.”

“What a waste,” Steve says.

He says it like he means it. Like he really regrets not talking to her. She kind of believes him.

“What’s the other reason, then?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I came alone and I’m going straight home afterwards because I’m failing pre-calc and I have remedial work to do. These shoes barely fit. I can’t sleep, I can’t remember most of last semester, and I can’t go anywhere near the picture line without feeling like I’m gonna throw up. And I’m pretty sure half the basketball team just campaigned for me because they knew all the girls up for Queen already had boyfriends and I didn’t have a date. It’s funny for them, you know? Makes me look like even more of a loser.”

There’s… a lot there, but he rushed through the stuff in the middle, and something tells her that he sandwiched those things for a reason. What’s his problem with pictures? Does he mean he can’t sleep like he’s up all night tossing and turning, or like he’s torn awake by night terrors? Did he forget most of what he learned last semester, or like, most of what happened over those few months? It’s just… a lot, too much, and none of it really makes sense.

So Robin rolls her eyes. “You know, dancing with me isn’t really gonna help you with looking like a loser.”

“Jesus, shut up. Like you’re not cooler than all the girls in here. You know this is all stupid. This shit is who I am, but it’s not who you are. So why do you care so much?”

Steve Harrington is just as irritating as ever when he’s being nice. Maybe even moreso.

“Oh, you know who I am?”

“I think I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

She wants to challenge him. Tell me, she’d say, go on, I’m listening. I want to hear what you think. What do you see when you look at me, huh? What do you hear when I talk to you? Do you know what I want? What I’m afraid of? Who I want to be, and what I’m terrified of becoming? Do you hear it when I cry every night? Tell me, Steve, where does the weight of the world sit on you? Is it crushing your chest, too? Or does it sit nice and high up on your shoulders? Go on, tell me. Who does the great Steve Harrington think I am?

But some questions don’t need to be answered. Besides, those questions are meant for the great Steve Harrington, and this guy is… something else. Something sadder.

“... It’s not really about them,” she tries. “Or it… it won’t be. It is, right now. But it’ll be about someone else eventually.”

“That’s… good, right?”

“No,” she says plainly. “It’s gonna be the same way then, too.”

“What makes you think that?”

Robin tries to laugh. It feels like more of a sob. “Call it instinct.”

“Time After Time” fades into something energetic and upbeat. It’s probably big right now, based on how everyone reacts by immediately breaking away from their partners to form big dance groups with their friends, but Robin must be listening to her Walkman too much, because she swears she’s never heard it before in her life.

“Well,” Steve says, not letting go, continuing to sway, “I think your instincts are bullshit.”

“Don’t,” she chokes, “Please.”

Steve unwinds their fingers, and it almost hurts, but then he pulls her into a hug, one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist. She reciprocates without thinking, pressing her face against the fine material of his suit jacket. He’ll probably have to wipe her makeup off later.

“Look,” he says, and his voice wavers, just for a moment. “I know… Hawkins sucks. It really fucking sucks, more than anyone realizes. But you don’t. It’s not… we just met, basically, but I know that whatever it is, you’re not the problem. Okay? It’s just… other people.”

He doesn’t know. He can’t. He can’t, or he wouldn’t be holding her like this, and saying these words, and treating her like...

“Other people suck,” she says.

Steve’s shoulders slump forward, and she realizes that he’s been tense all night. Their hug feels different, now. More like the hugs that her mom used to give her when she was little and she couldn’t sleep. The music is a blanket of noise around them, her eyes shut and face tilted down into Steve’s shoulder, and Robin could almost forget they were in the same gym where she plays dodgeball on Thursdays. Fifty feet away from the locker room with the tiles she’s memorized, with the forty-six holes in the drain on the floor and the small remnant of somebody’s old gum stuck in the grout. They’re standing in warmth, and sound, and maybe it’s a veil of denial or ignorance but Robin can’t really bring herself to care when it lets her believe that maybe someone understands.

“Get a room!”

“Fuck off,” Steve lifts his head to shout at whoever said it, and Robin flinches.

She opens her eyes. She lifts her head. She takes a step back.

“Robin?”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright?” Steve leans in to speak clearly over the music.

Shaking out her shoulders and forcing herself to smile, she says, “Yeah. I think I ruined your suit, though.”

He frowns, glances at his shoulder, and laughs at the perfect imprint of Robin’s face loud enough that some nearby dancers turn their heads for a moment. It’s a nice sound. It makes Robin want to laugh, too.

“You want to get out of here?”

Fuck.

“I’m not…” she says, glancing back toward the table Steve had approached her at. None of her friends have since sat down.

He runs a hand through his hair, dislodging the crown and then fumbling awkwardly to save it before it falls onto the floor. He settles it at a crooked angle on his head and Robin snorts.

“Not like that, geez. I’m not even looking for anything —” He cuts himself off.

Steve takes a breath and continues. “ I just… we could get burgers, or something. You’re paying, obviously,” Steve says as he gestures to the makeup stain, but his fidgeting hands betray his confident tone.

There’s no way this doesn’t end badly. No way that Steve Harrington doesn’t try to make a move on her, or somehow figure out she’s a raging lesbian, or drive her out to an old abandoned farmhouse and turn her skin into a suit.

Robin hasn’t felt this good all night. She’s on the brink of tears, but she hasn’t felt this good in weeks, maybe fucking years, and if there’s just the slightest chance that she might actually just go and get burgers with a friend and make her junior prom a night to actually remember… well, she’s willing to take that chance.

“I’ll pay my half, obviously.”

Steve grins. “Then come on, my Queen. Or, uh, princess, or whatever a king’s, like, friend —”

“Are you trying to say my chariot awaits?”

Steve presses his lips together. “...No?”

Robin rolls her eyes as she holds out her arm, and Steve takes it. “Come on, Your Highness. Our totally platonic chariot awaits.”

This time, they laugh together, and Robin doesn’t bother to think about whether it was the fourth time or the fifth. She’ll hear it way too many times to count.

#robin buckley #steve harrington #stranger things fic #lesbianrobin.fic #stobin #genuinely platonic soulmates #stranger things #em talks

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arielleslipgloss · 29 days

Note

Can you make a guide for Song Jia ??

How to Become Magnetic like Song Jia!!

(none of these pictures are mine)

“It’s hard for me to have a crush on anybody. My standards are as high as Mt. Everest.” - Song Jia

Confidence!! Jia has a lot of confidence. She knows who she is and what she’s worth. She doesn’t see anyone as competition. This is because she knows that the only competition, is herself. Jia is constantly working harder to improve herself. Some ways she takes care of herself are, exercise, skincare, haircare, affirmations, etc. She does self-care with love and care for herself. Which helps her feel good about herself. This just goes to show, that taking time for yourself helps with confidence a lot.

Femininity!! Jia acts in her light feminine energy. She is very soft, feminine, flirty, mysterious, and kind. Her femininity makes her very appealing and magnetic. She moves and talks slow, making her look secure in herself. She is quite private, which makes her mysterious. She knows to stay laid back and let a man be in his masculine energy. Lastly, she always dresses nicely and looks well-groomed. All these qualities are very feminine. It makes her very alluring to people. Making them want to know more about her.

Mystery!! What makes Jia mysterious? Well, Jia is an extremely good listener. She talks less and listens to others more. I’m sure we all can agree that someone who listens well to us is very attractive. We automatically become pulled to them. This is because all humans love attention. We all want to be validated and valued. My point is, a good listener gives us exactly that. They validate us by just listening. All they do is maintain eye contact and listen. Which is insane how powerful those two things can be. Something else about Jia, is that she only reveals a little at a time. Even when she reveals stuff, she still says very little. This makes the person she is interacting with more curious about her. They want to know more and more about her. Yet, she doesn’t let them. Even in interviews, she keeps her answers to a certain amount.

4. Be Your True Self!! All the things I have listed already come naturally to Jia. That is because she worked hard on improving herself. Therefore, also work on making yourself better and better. Especially work hard on confidence because your confidence will radiate. If you have confidence that is strong and radiates, you will instantly be more magnetic. Although, why can being your true and authentic self make you magnetic? Well, because it’s rare to see people being their true selves. It also makes a person feel more comfortable and at ease around you. Almost as if they can trust you, since you seem like you trust them. That’s really magnetic and can make others attracted to you.

5. Don’t Bring Others Down!! Jia was never the type to talk bad about other girls on Singles Inferno. She’d stay out of drama and knew certain stuff wasn’t her business. She also knew that her only competition was herself. Jia always was respectful towards everyone she’d meet. She constantly tries to support others. This is because Jia knows, that bringing down others won’t benefit anyone. There is no purpose in bringing others down. What there is purpose in, is uplifting other people! Therefore, try to uplift others because you will get that positive energy back.

Love you sm dolls!! Remember to keep your standards high and stay pretty 💋🎀

“I’ve done well till now, I can do better in the future!” - Song Jia

Pinterest: Arielleslipgloss

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definitelynotafurinasimp · 6 months

Text

Navia with a musician reader

characters: Navia x gn!reader

warnings: none

a/n: I have this really weird obsession with the Accordion, I have no idea why. I can’t play it, I don’t understand how it works, I just love how you can play like every folk song on it and make it sound pretty banger… So yeah. Also, I wanted to write something for Navia since she just got announced and I already want to put all my life savings into a ring I can put around her finger.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Navia

While the underground wasn’t that bad compared to some of Teyvat’s lesser habitable environments, it was easy to enter a death spiral of self-pity and despair if one let their mind wander off to how much more comfortable life was outside, and havings things to do or people to entertain you was a great way to distract yourself a bit.

All of which was a fancy way to say that whenever you started playing your accordion, it didn’t take long for you to get surrounded by a small to medium sized crowd, some of them listening intensely, some using it as a suitable background music to whatever they were currently doing and some others throwing in songs you should play next.

And while there was hardly a face you hadn't seen attend your performances at least once, one always stood out to you, no matter how big the crowd. Were it her blue eyes softly, yet noticeably staring at you, her smile whenever she heard you play a song she seemed to remember from her childhood or more realistically her clothes that made it difficult not to stand out, yet whenever she was there, it didn’t take long for you to notice. And just as quickly as it took you to spot her, your fingers’ movements started to get more clumsy, still a ways off from making you play a wrong note, but noticeably enough that it took you a lot of concentration not to mess up, your cheeks growing red as you suddenly became conscious about your every action.

Just as you finished playing the song, you were bombarded with requests causing the sound of coins dropping into your hat to nearly get drowned out. Could you play this, what about that, with every voice joining in, each one got less discernible until they blended into one giant background noise, your glance fixated at the blonde making her way towards you, until the sound of her voice forced you to return back to reality.

“Are you familiar with this song? I don’t get the chance to listen to it everyday, so I’d be really happy if you could play it”, she asked with a smile, handing you a folded piece of paper with the song’s name on its front, before quickly getting interrupted.

“Sorry Navia, but the rules are the rules. Request something and toss a coin into the hat”, an older man whose face you could recognize from almost every single one of your shows stated, his voice jovial and without any ill meaning, yet just as serious.

Without missing a beat, Navia pretended to check her purse only for a small smile to find its way onto her face.

“I don’t seem to have any money with me, would a cup of tea and some macarons do?”

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #navia #navia x reader #navia x you #navia x y/n #genshin navia

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pulisicz · 1 year

Text

have we been here before? - mason mount

i guess things have come full circle

summary - you and mason used to “date” back in middle school, which then led to a more serious relationship in high school, but due to mason pursuing his football career, you two spilt.

now, years later, you two are reunited.

♡︎

pairing - mason mount x fem!reader

song inspo - n/a

warnings! - none, this is straight fluff

word count - 1.5k

note - i will 100% be making a part 2

mason had had a long day. getting back into the season had been hard, especially after the heartbreak of what happened at the world cup.

another loss…

it was hard on all of the guys, but that doesn’t mean that they could just be all sad and not give it 110% for their club teams.

it was, however, nice to get back with the team.

mason had missed all of them a lot, but mainly his two best mates, christian and ben.

“i hate to be the one to say this, but there’s always next time. we had a rough fight, but we did well, lads”. harry maguire says as they all get situated in their plane seats.

after the long plane ride, the boys were finally back in england. yes, loosing the world cup sucked, but being back home was nice.

mason’s sister, stacey, and his mom, picked him up from the airport.

“oh my god, stacey, what are you doing here?” mason said, being more shocked than ever.

his sister lives in australia, and after she and her family came to see mason play, she was supposed to go back to australia, at least that was the plan. but stacey had wanted to surprise mason by visiting england for a little.

the car ride home was nice. he got to catch up with his sister, which was much needed. he also got a moment of peace from all of the craziness in his life, which was very refreshing.

mason didn’t have to go back to chelsea training for another week, so he got to rest and do whatever he wanted for a good while. although mason was excited to spend time with his family and friends, the only thing he could think of at the moment was getting into his bed to take a much needed nap.

you were almost done with your errands, the only place left to go to was the grocery store. you went over your list to see what you needed and headed into the store, list and pen in hand.

apples

grapes

saltine crackers

lemonade

lettuce

tomato’s

shredded cheese

caesar salad dressing

croutons

granola bars

you didn’t need much so it shouldn’t be a long trip.

you were almost finished with your list, only a couple items left when you realized you needed to grab more bread.

you are carefully going over your list and assessing what you had already gotten as you turn to the bread aisle, not paying attention to your surroundings. you collide with someone else’s cart, which shake you from your focus.

“oh shit, i’m sorry! i wasn’t looking where i was go-ing…. mason?”

you stand there, unable to think, but trying to think at the same time.

what is he doing here?

“what are you doing here?” you ask, as if it’s not the most obvious answer. he’s obviously getting groceries.

“i’m getting groceries, and you?”

your mind is racing. it had been 5 years since you last saw him. 5 years since the two of you were dating. 5 years since you were your happiest self.

“doing the same. um. how have you been?”

you really had no idea what to say. for someone you used to know so well, you’re acting as if this is your first time meeting.

“i’ve been good. i just back into town today and wanted to run out to get some things. nothing much though. what about you? are you still into photography?”

photography… he remembered

“yes i am! i’m actually studying photography at oxford, along with english. it’s been a really cool experience. — and what do you mean by not much, didn’t you just get back from the world cup? that’s insane mason! you did amazing!”

“thank you. i tried”

mason couldn’t believe he ran into y/n. all the memories flooded him.

she still studies photography…

mason remembered everything about her. he remembered how she always wanted to be an author, but had the biggest passion for photography. he remembered how oxford was the only school she wanted to go to. he remembered that she had started writing a book their senior year.

her book.

“did you end up finishing your book?” mason asked remembering about her book.

the book was something y/n had put all her time into. she was not passionate about writing it, and mason was ecstatic for her, but she was still in the very early stages of it when they had broken up, so he never got to see it really come together.

“my book?” y/n seemed puzzled. did she forget about it? did she finish it? does she have no idea what i’m talking about? masons mind started wandering. was it weird that i asked?

y/n stood there think for a few more seconds before her eyes lit up.

“YOU REMEMBER?!”

“how could i forget? you poured your entire heart into that book. i never got to see it come together. did you end up finishing it?”

y/n’s smile faded just a little.

“sadly not. i had to put it on the back burner to focus on my studies, and even now i only work on it from time to time. i still want to finish it though.”

this made mason smile a little. hearing that she was still working on her book made him happy. it was like nothing had changed. y/n was still y/n. the only thing is, is that mason is now a world famous footballer, and y/n is a student at oxford.

“i hate to break this reunion up, but i have to finish my grocery shopping and get back to my dorm. my roommate is going to kill me if i’m not home soon. it was so nice to see you mason”.

no.

mason couldn’t just let her leave like he did to her 5 years ago.

“y/n?”

y/n turned back around before leaving the asile.

“can i get your number? i have gotten a new number since senior year and i really want to get together with you some time”.

y/n walked over to mason and he gave her his phone so she could put in her number.

“i’ll see you later, mason”. y/n said, putting a little emphasis on his name.

the second y/n walked out of the aisle, mason did a little celebration dance before composing himself to finish shopping.

—————————————————————————

“would you want to go to the 49 cafe for brunch tomorrow?”

mason had typed and retyped his text about 5 times. why was he so nervous? is just a date. it’s not even a proper date, it’s just brunch, nothing fancy.

delivered.

you were at your desk studying for your upcoming exam in your psych class when your phone lit up.

mason was the name on your screen and your heart skipped a beat. you had hoped he would text sooner than later, but certainly not this early, although you weren’t complaining.

as you read the text you couldn’t help but blush. you pull your knees up on the chair to lean your chin on as you text mason back.

“i would love to! what time?”

you saw the three dots show up almost immediately, which only made you blush more.

“does someone finally have a little boyfriend?” your roommate, emily, asks in a giddy, yet, sarcastic tone. emily has always pushed you to go out more, but being the introvert you were, chose to stay home writing, studying, or editing photos from your photo shoots.

“hmm? oh, no. i just saw a funny video”.

lies.

you had never ever lied to emily, but you couldn’t tell her that you were going on a date with mason mount.

“you’re lying, i know you too well”.

emily hops off her bed and makes her way towards you. you knew you were a bad lier, but no matter how good the lie was, emily would always see right through you.

“so, what’s his name?”

“mason”

emily starts smiling and jumping up and down.

“y/n finally has a boyfriend” emily says in a sing-song type voice while skipping around in a circle like a 5 year old.

“i don’t have a boyfriend, em. it’s just brunch”.

well, i did have a boyfriend.

you hadn’t told emily about mason yet, and you weren’t ever planning on telling her, but being reunited with mason might have to bring you to tell her, but that was a problem for another day.

you look back at your phone to see if mason had texted back the time for tomorrow, and as expected, the blue bubble has appeared.

“11 AM?”

you look at your schedule to make sure you definitely don’t have any classes at that time, and after seeing you have nothing, you text him back.

“works for me”

“perfect. i’ll see you tomorrow, y/n”

#mason mount #mason mount fanfic #chelsea fc #chelsea #fanfic #pulisicz

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luvvixu · 8 months

Text

dazai x reader (she/her)

🏠🧵home sweet home pt. 3

series

genre: fluff, domestic au

synopsis: just another day at dazai's household. but the difference is, your daughter is preparing to go with you in your work because you are finally back on track after giving birth to you and dazai's little princess.

warning: none

word count: 2.4k

a/n: yey, another update about this series hehehehe. ive been very busy preparing for the new school year and i suddenly got inspired writing this by dreaming of having a child of my own :(

song: daisy. by wave to earth

a few months later after emi was born, your life had changed drastically because you had to keep up with baby schedules. but you're not complaining tho, you love this life.

you have a silly yet caring husband and a very adorable little bean beside you. they are the puzzle that completes you and this is the life you have been waiting for after all these years.

as of the moment, you are preparing the necessities like diapers, baby formula, clothes, towels, toys, and other stuff for your cute baby emi. you are happily humming your favorite song when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist.

it was your sleepy husband, dazai osamu.

"good morning, my little insomnia." you greeted him with a smile as dazai just replied with a yawn and nuzzles deeper in your neck, planning to go back to sleep.

"yah! don't fall asleep there!" you gently nudge him. and after a lot of small hits, your husband emits a groan before detaching from you.

"you're up so early. what are you doing?" his husky voice vibrates down your spine. so deep and so hot that it felt like your knees were about to kneel.

"i'm preparing all the things emi need." you simply replied.

"for what?" he asked, and you stared at him weirdly. looks like his soul was still sleeping, with his eyes trying to lift his heavy eyelids down to consecutive numbers of yawns. it looked so funny and adorable at the same time.

"we were bringing emi to our workplace, remember?" you reminded him and something in his eyes tells that he finally remembered.

your husband let out an 'o' in realization. "oh right, right…and you're running an errand with the president?" he pulled you harder on his embrace, showing his upcoming concern.

"yup," your first mission was to accompany fukuzawa on a meeting with the police officials of yokohama to hear the current issues and give possible mend to them.

"will you be alright?" being the worrisome husband he is, he is concerned for you. dazai temporarily releases himself from you.

you turned your gaze to him as he was there, leaning on the kitchen counter while crossing his arms. "darling, i've been on maternity leave for like almost a year now. not to mention, emi is now eight months old and can barely walk. besides, i've been dying to go back to work." you patted his cheek playfully.

"on the contrary, i should be the one asking you that, will you be alright? emi is becoming quite a handful now. she's really cranky over the little things she doesn't like. i think you spoiled her too much." you added.

"hey, it's not my fault that emi is so irresistible." dazai defends himself while he raises his arms in defeat.

a chuckle escapes from your lips as you give him a peck. "i know, and i'm not even blaming you." his lips are a bit dry because he just woke up and probably didn't brush his teeth, yet. "now move, i'm going to cook us some breakfast." you shove him away but dazai cage you in his arms again.

"osamu, let me go! i need to cook." you wriggle but still fail due to his grip is heavenly strong.

"kiss me more." dazai puckered his lips and you granted him with your kisses.

"again." chu…one kiss.

"again." chu…two kisses.

"again—"

"haha, nope. that's enough. i really need to cook." you block his face with your palm as you let out a giggle. you could even feel his lips and tongue teasing your palm.

you immediately moved your hand away as it was becoming ticklish. dazai was pouting at you, a smile broke upon your lips and decided to ruffle his messy bed hair.

"go and wake up emi instead. it's now seven o'clock in the morning and she needs to follow her schedule." you said.

"but kisses…." he mumbles like a child who lost his balloon.

"i'll give you as many as you want later." you rolled your eyes playfully and shooed him to wake up his daughter. dazai let out a little cheer before happily skipping his way towards the nursery.

you just chuckle at your husband's silly action before deciding to officially start the day with cooking breakfast.

meanwhile, dazai enters the nursery quietly with a big smile on his lips. waking his daughter up was his favorite thing everyday. he got to see the adorable yawn and the way emi would cuddle her little head on his shoulder if enough to make his day complete.

dazai approaches the crib silently, and there he sees his little princess still sleeping peacefully. a burst of happiness engulfed his whole chest, emi is so adorable.

and as much as he doesn't want to wake her up because emi looked so peaceful while sleeping, he has to follow her schedule. leaning on the crib, he gently rubs her head and belly to wake her up.

"emi-chan~ wake up, my little princess." dazai called softly. he watches emi slowly stretching up her limbs along with a cute yawn.

his smile widens when emi opens her eyes and looks at him. "good morning, emi! did you have a good sleep?" as a response, emi just looked at him with wide eyes and tilted her head slightly.

"i'll take that as a yes." dazai giggles like a child before picking up his daughter gently into his arms. emi immediately planted her little head on dazai's shoulder, just like every time he would pick her up.

dazai kisses her chubby cheeks. "let's go and meet mama, hmm?" emi just rubbed her eyes at him, dazai smiled once more and grabbed her hands. with that, he started to head downstairs with emi in his arms.

"mama! we are here~" dazai jogged his way towards you with emi giggling in his arms, laughing how she goes up and down while her father is running.

you arch your neck to their direction with a smile as you are busy flipping the eggs. "there's my little princess~" you cooed. dazai knows his job and just stays a bit far away from you so that emi wouldn't get splashed by the hot oil and damage her silky smooth skin.

"i already made her baby formula. it's on the kitchen counter." you pointed the baby bottle in front of him. your husband grabs it before proceeding to the couch to feed her.

"who's hungry? who's hungry?" dazai playfully bounces her as emi's eyes sparkles at the sight of her baby bottle. she also tries to grab it with her adorable arms hanging in the air.

"it's emi!" he let emi suck the bottle with a smile on his face. he loves watching his daughter silently drinking her milk while playing with his hands.

his eyes soften to its extent, only you and emi are able to make him do that. the way his furrowed expression would go loose at the sight of his family is something that could be seen as wholesome.

a sudden weight shifts beside him. looking, he saw you, his wife smiling dearly at them. your heart is pumping happiness against your chest, dazai is a great dad despite his traumatic backstory.

"now i know, i don't have to worry for you and emi." you said.

"what's that even supposed to mean?" dazai lifted up his head with a laugh as he looked at you.

"nothing." you sing-sang, standing up once more to bring his coffee.

"anyway, you should go and get yourself ready for work…or do you want to bathe emi first?!" you yelled at the kitchen.

"of course i'll go with the second option!" dazai replies.

"alright, i gotta prepare her clothes then!"

seconds later, you came back with a coffee and egg toast in your hand. "at least take this coffee first before you need to have some breakfast." you placed his food on the coffee table.

your husband gently passes you your little girl so that he could eat his breakfast. when emi was finally in your arms, you showered her with a lot of kisses and giggles. dazai smiled at you two, his morning was complete just by the sight of his family.

"wah~ emi's getting adorable each day!" you said through your kisses. emi was laughing about the ticklish sensation your lips brings on her cheeks. those totally adorable laughs ascended the both of you through the bliss of life.

"are you excited for your first trip at the agency?" you asked your daughter, only to receive an undistinguished babble as her response.

"me too! i can't wait to show emi around. oh, and papa will take care of you for a meantime at the agency. mama and grandpa yukichi have some errands to do." you continued to sweet baby talk, and emi was just looking at you innocently all the time as you talk.

"where was the place you're going, again?" your husband asked.

"i'm not sure. the president did not provide me with any information. i think the agenda is still in process, but my hunch is it's just somewhere near here in yokohama." as you are talking, emi was trying to put her hand on your mouth like a little mischief she is. she would giggle every time you would playfully bite her hand.

"nevertheless, you don't have to be worried, 'samu. i've got fukuzawa-san beside me." you continued, intentionally giving him some comfort against his worried denouement.

dazai finished his breakfast and now he's excited to finally get ready with his baby. "let's get you ready, my little belladonna!" he raises emi up and pampers her with kisses.

"i already prepared her bath. her clothes are also on our bed." you reminded him before going to the kitchen and cleaning the dirty dishes.

"careful, emi. i don't want any water to go inside your ears." dazai hums softly as he bathes his daughter who is busy playing with bubbles.

"don't try to eat the bubbles, okay? soap doesn't taste as good as milk." he joked. emi just looked at him innocently before she was about to put her handful of bubbles into her mouth.

"ah! ah! what did i say? no eating soap bubbles!"

"what's going on here?" you peak your head at the bathroom door just to see your husband and daughter both looking at you. you are fully dressed and ready to go to work. now, it might be a wonder how come that you are the one to finish first when it was your babies who got in the bathroom first.

simple, motherhood. you learned how to act fast according to the time on your schedule and that makes you even more cautious of time since you have a little child and your husband is not always at home due to his work. sometimes, you reminisce about some things like how fast you were to eat, shower, and do the household chores while emi was sleeping (your baby is a light sleeper, sadly).

"what's with that look?" you giggled at his childish expression, a look that looked like he just got his lollipop stolen.

"emi was eating the bubbles!" dazai pouted like a toddler.

your laugh slows down. "you know her, everything looks like food to her. a-are you sure you don't want my help?"

"our little princess might be stubborn just like her mama and papa, but i'm more stubborn than her." dazai gave you a thumbs up.

"alright, just call me if you change your mind. i'll be taking a shower for now." you skipped your ways towards the other bathroom to get yourself ready for your first job after maternity leave.

within a few minutes, emi was finally done and fully dressed. she was napping peacefully in her mother's cage as they were waiting for dazai to finish preparing himself.

time check, it's now nine o'clock and only half an hour left before they go to work. right now, you are busy scrolling from your phone while emi is drinking your milk. a notification popped in your phone, a message from fukuzawa.

<I apologize for the late notice but I'm afraid we might finish the meeting late. They add another agenda by patrolling on the vicinities with high crime rate here in Yokohama.

<Good morning, y/n.

there's something in his typings that makes you laugh. you try not to voice it out loud in front of him, but he's a boomer in terms of digitized chatting. also, was it greeting a good morning should come first? damn, what an old man.

<oh it's alright, president! i'll just inform my husband about this so they could go home early.

<Oh right… Little Emi is going here today, am I right?

<yes. osamu and i have decided to bring her with us since i'm coming back to work and we're still unable to find a very trustworthy nanny.

<will that be alright? you know, bring our daughter while working.

<Of course. I'm sure the people here wouldn't mind having a little company. By that means, they would be extremely happy to see your baby and this place would be very lively.

<Although, I am quite worried that this may attract some thugs and plan an ambush.

<it's better for her to go there since not only osamu was there, but also the whole ada themselves.

<You got a point.

<anyway, i am going to drop this conversation for now. my husband just finished taking a shower, we might be there in the next 20 minutes.

<Very well. I'll see you later. Be careful on your way here.

<will do. thanks dad!

<🙂👍

it was no surprise that fukuzawa was fond of those old emojis. it was also no surprise that he lets you call him dad. i mean, he was technically your dad after all.

when you were younger, he took care of you after his former colleagues–who were your parents, unfortunately got killed. you were there when he formed the armed detective agency. especially, you were there when the current members got recruited.

"shall we head out now?" a voice calls for your attention. looking up from your phone, you saw your husband smiling at you, wearing his signature beige trench coat that is so hard to wash since it's too heavy when it gets wet.

"took you long enough, emi is now asleep."

"figured."

with that, he helps you situated in the car. he made sure that all of emi's necessities are complete. he made sure that emi was comfortable in her mini bed and was safe and secured. and of course, he made sure that you're also comfortable, safe, and secured.

"buckle up, baby. our little emi's going to have a lot of fun today."

©luvvixu2023

#dazai x reader #fanfic #anime #fluff #bsd dazai #fanfiction #luvvixu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai fluff #domestic dazai

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use-your-telescope · 6 months

Text

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 3: I'm Still Not Sure What I Stand For

Summary: Theo makes a decision. The Avengers meet a prospective new member.

Author's Notes: Hey look, it's the chapter that has the first snippet I posted back in like, February! This song is split between two chapters, otherwise it would be a 10k chapter... next chapter (again, already written!) will likely come on Saturday, 10/28.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog (less than 100 followers, haha) and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: None!

Word Count: 3,957

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Some Nights - fun.

Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck Some nights, I call it a draw Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know anymore

If there was anything Theo could count on, it was that her cousin Max would inevitably disapprove of almost all of Theo’s life choices.

“Are you insane ?” The tenor of her cousin’s voice blared through the speaker, furious about the news she shared. “Seriously Leenie, you know you’re insane, right?”

“Sometimes, that’s all I have to give me comfort.” Theo drawled, cradling her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she packed her apartment up. “Max, don’t you get it? They’re alive - this is our chance!”

“No, no, no –” he retorted, “things are perfectly fine right now! There is no reason for us to go digging up the skeletons we buried -”

“Why are you so upset about this?” She said, rolling her eyes. “You literally have nothing to lose - if this works, we get our lives back. If this doesn’t work, we will stay here and nothing changes!”

“I have nothing–” A strangled groan came from the other side of the phone. “You are impossible, Leenie! What are the others going to think? What’s Mémère going to think? You’re putting all of us at risk–”

“Mémère has been pestering me to help with the shadow creature problem anyways,” Theo interrupted, “and might I remind you that between the two of us, I’m the one who has the authority to make this sort of decision.”

“I can’t – I can’t believe you,” Max sputtered; Theo could picture him walking around his house, flailing his arms in exasperation as she refused to back down on her plan. “After everything we sacrificed to get here, you’re going to risk ruining it for them?”

“They’re my family, you asshole,” Theo snapped, “and until two nights ago, I thought they were dead. I thought I would never see them again, and I would never see my home again, but now there’s a possibility I can have my life back! So yes, I am willing to risk everything!” Staring at the half-filled boxes around her, Theo sighed; a pang of nostalgia surged through her chest at the thought of seeing the constellations that filled her childhood in something other than her dreams. “Max, they can put an end to all of this - don’t you want to go home?”

For years, Theo had dreams where she experienced the world through her sister’s perspective, but until she found out her sister was alive Theo assumed that was all they were: dreams. Her mind playing tricks on her, making her feel connected to people who hadn’t walked the earth in a long time. It wasn’t hard to rationalize - lots of people dreamt about loved ones after they passed.

However, if it was true - if they were really alive… Maybe they weren’t just dreams. Maybe she was still connected with them and seeing what they saw. Maybe her sister was staring at the skies like they used to, remembering the tales she told Theo when they’d sneak out late at night to escape the times when it all felt like too much.

Even if Theo had seen the world through Rae’s eyes, she wondered what Rae looked like after all the time that had passed. Was she still as lean as Theo remembered, with sharp cheeks and piercing amethyst eyes that saw through everything? Was her nose still hooked ever-so-slightly?

A shaky exhale came through the other end of the phone.

“This is our home now, Leens -” Max softened his tone, “I know you miss them, but even if it’s true that they are alive, how do you know they aren’t choosing to stay there? How do you know they would even want to help? Or that it would work?”

“Max, there’s no reason to believe they wouldn’t try to find me again - they’re my family ,” Theo protested, pinching the bridge of her nose with irritation at Max’s very blatant disapproval of her decision. “Look, I get it - after all this time it’s scary to think about the possibility that we gave up hope when they were still alive and we resigned ourselves to being refugees. But wouldn’t you rather know for sure than sit here wondering what if ?”

Theo continued haphazardly tossing items into boxes - she had to have everything ready for moving into the tower. Movers would be coming in a week, and she would have to say farewell to the brownstone she’d called home for so long.

The thought of leaving her little borough was tough to swallow - what would she do when she couldn’t stop into the bodega on her way home from work and tease Carlos about the girl who kept coming in to buy stuff just to talk to him? There was no way the Avengers ever went to bodegas when they needed something, much less talked to normal people. It seemed like they were locked up in their tower whenever they weren’t making appearances or going on flashy missions. They probably had cleaning staff and a chef that they interacted with, but beyond the staff it was difficult to imagine the Avengers living normal lives and running their own errands.

God, if Tony Stark was as obnoxious and boisterous as he seemed, being locked in a tower with him would absolutely result in Theo committing murder…

Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to this.

But if it meant she could be reunited with her family, if they could finally go home and rebuild… Maybe she could hold off on murdering the Avengers’ sugar daddy.

“I can’t stop you from doing this, can I?”

Max’s voice snapped Theo back to the present.

“No, you can’t.” Theo shook her head, adjusting how she cradled the phone so she could tape a box closed. “I gave SHIELD my terms today and they accepted. Whether you like it or not, I’m going. You’re second in command while I’m gone - you know that, right?”

“Fucking insane,” Max muttered, “This is fucking insane.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first thirty times.” Theo replied, rolling her eyes yet again.

“Fine, fine! I will try to keep Mémère in line and make sure shit doesn’t implode,” Max relented, “You have to tell the council though - I do not condone this whatsoever.”

Fuck, Theo forgot about the council.

“Chill out - I’m sure Mémère already told them.”

Well, she was assuming, but they’d find out one way or another. After all, there was going to be a press conference to announce her new role upon completion of SHIELD’s onboarding process, so it wasn’t like it was going to be a secret.

Max’s frustration meant the conversation didn’t last much longer; then again, it wasn’t like there was much else for the two to discuss. If anything, she was a bit relieved to be done talking to him, even if he was family.

The moment Max was no longer on the phone, Theo let out an exhausted sigh.

Maybe Max was right - maybe she was getting caught up in this for nothing. Maybe she wouldn’t get to them in time. Maybe it was actually a lie after all. Maybe this would re-open old wounds. Maybe she would be killed before finding anything. Maybe…

Wings flapping brought Theo’s attention to her open window. A pair of black, beady eyes stared at her, iridescent feathers shimmering in the light from Theo’s apartment.

Not a crow - too big to be a crow. The beak wasn’t like a crow’s, and the feathers around it were far more pronounced.

Definitely a raven.

Ravens weren’t common in urban areas, and seeing one on its own?

Well, if that wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was.

This is it, boys, this is warWhat are we waiting for?Why don't we break the rules already?I was never one to believe the hypeSave that for the black and whiteTry twice as hard, and I'm half as likedBut here they come again to jack my style

“Dr. Theolene Amaris,” Nick Fury’s voice rang out in the meeting room as a picture of a lithe woman appeared on screen. “ - also known as the Silver Shadow, the Celestial Phantom, and the Cursed Moon.”

It was only a few hours earlier that everyone was notified of the mandatory briefing, which was described as “urgent.”

Moments before, Loki found himself pondering the nature of the briefing while everyone packed into a bright conference room. In front of each Avenger, a manila file folder sat prepared for them with information related to the subject in question.The faces of his team members shifted as they developed their first impressions on the subject of their briefing, her likeness blown up on the screen at the front of the room.

Despite exceeding the capacity of the space, Loki managed to secure his usual seat in the back, conveniently located near the door for an easy escape. It was a habit that lingered from his earlier days in the tower, but having an easy escape from what were normally tedious meetings was still a benefit that Loki took advantage of more often than not. Even better, there was an empty seat next to him, lessening the otherwise inevitable sense of claustrophobia that would have eventually reared its ugly head.

She really didn’t look like much. The only noteworthy feature in her appearance was the thick mane of silver hair that tumbled down her back, stopping just above her waist. Otherwise, she appeared to be like any other Midgardian: clad in all-black, a beanie atop her head with black sunglasses obscuring her features as she walked down the street. If Loki passed her in real life, there was no way he’d offer her a second glance, or even a first.

With that in mind, it was safe to assume that in this first image, she was practicing urban camouflage – blending in with her surroundings by altering her appearance and attire to mimic those around her. The less attention she drew to herself, the easier it would be to slip in and out unnoticed; it also created an additional challenge if anyone sought to locate her. As someone who’d had plenty of experience with stealth, Loki already had an idea of what her skill sets may include.

Stark studied the first image of her, brow furrowed as he spoke up. “Hell of a name, but she doesn’t look like much. What’s her doctorate in? Bad poetry? Sad music? Scaring parents?”

“Emergency Medicine.” Fury glared at Stark while Agent Hill changed the display to a second photograph. “Assuming she isn’t a serious threat is both the first and last mistake you’ll make about her.”

The second image must have been captured in combat. She crouched down as though she just landed from a maneuver, the obsidian hood of a frayed cloak masking the top half of her face as she held a black longsword composed entirely of what appeared to be magic in one hand. Her other hand radiated with darkness as it touched the ground, ready to launch some kind of spell. Blood smeared across her jawline, a scowl across her lips as a pair of corpses lay in the background. Unlike the first photo, now he could see a scar that ran down past the bottom of her lip, almost giving her the appearance of a permanently split lip. A second scar cut through the outside edge of her eyebrow, angling out towards her temple.

One detail piqued his interest: of all the realms that Loki had visited, he did not recognize where she was. He had to give it to Fury – this picture certainly made her appear far more intimidating.

“She specializes in shadow magic—“

The room erupted as all the Avengers fired off questions at the director.

“Shadow magic? Wait, is she the one behind those shadow beast-things we’ve been fighting lately?”

“What does she want?”

“Is she working for Dr. Doom?”

“Did HYDRA give her those powers?”

“What kind of villain studies emergency medicine?”

“Maybe this will help explain things.” Agent Hill tapped a screen as the image before them went to a video.

Loki had seen this video before - it was nearly impossible to miss, having been plastered all across the news for weeks. A Midgardian woman single-handedly eliminated an entire swarm of the shadowy monsters that had plagued New York City recently, all while in a subway car. Somehow, no one knew who she was or the methods used to exterminate the pests. It was obvious from the video that it was magic of some kind, though it was different from any magic Loki had ever encountered in his life and it did not resemble anything he had ever studied. Though he hadn’t admitted it to anyone, he was curious to meet this Midgardian and learn her abilities for himself.

Of course, that was assuming she was Midgardian. There were many species who appeared to be Midgardian, though biologically they were different. Usually, it was easy for Loki to sense if someone was Aesir, Midgardian, or otherwise; however, no indication that she was anything extraterrestrial revealed itself to him.

No, this woman must have been Midgardian.

“That’s her?” Romanoff inquired, arching a perfectly groomed brow at Hill.

“Wait wait wait , I thought she was the bad guy, but she’s killing the shadowy monsters here…” Wilson said, gawking at the screen. “Unless she’s really crazy and likes killing her own, this doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m telling you, if she’s the big bad and studied Emergency Medicine, she’s definitely got a screw loose,” Barnes said, “and that’s coming from the guy with a vibranium arm.”

“This incident was weeks ago - how is it that we are just now learning of her identity?” Rhodes interjected.

“She is not our enemy,” Agent Hill finally explained, raising her voice over the incessant chatter. “She has agreed to help the Avengers find the root cause of the shadow creature problem and exterminate the beasts.”

Stunned silence permeated the room. The ticking of the clock above Fury’s perpetual scowl only emphasized the blaring lack of sound.

Loki could count on one hand the number of times he had ever witnessed total silence from the group; to see the group go from so animated to so silent nearly gave him whiplash.

“She’s joining the Avengers?” Stark’s disbelief was painted all over his face. “Emo queen Rapunzel is joining the Avengers?”

“Not exactly,” Agent Carter said, “She is coming on board specifically to help with the shadow creatures.”

“If she’s so powerful, why isn’t she already a part of the Avengers?” Banner asked, leaning in as he met Fury’s glare.

“This is a temporary arrangement.” Fury crossed his arms. “We struck a deal with her.”

“So she comes in and helps with the shadow creatures, and then what - she just disappears?” Captain Rogers pressed, “Don’t you think someone with expertise in shadow magic should be kept under close watch?”

“You’d be a fool to think she hasn’t been on SHIELD’s radar for a long time.” Fury crossed his arms and glowered at the group. “She turned down past offers to join the Avengers. Your mission is to convince her to stay.”

“Convince her to stay?” Romanoff shot Fury a wary glance, while others regarded the director as though he grew another head.

“Assuming all goes well, we want her to remain on the team after the shadow creatures are eliminated,” Agent Hill explained. “She is highly adept in both physical and magical combat, and she has expertise in stealth operations. She fills in some key areas of the team that have been lacking, while her versatility allows her to fit into a variety of smaller teams with ease. However, we need you to convince her to stay.”

“Dr. Amaris cut her teeth in a different realm,” Fury added. “She has trained with threats far more powerful than what we have encountered here on earth, and fought to survive in far worse scenarios. Her experiences and insight would be invaluable in our operations.”

“Okay, but if you had to strike a deal with her, that still raises some questions…” Banner hesitated, raising an eyebrow at Fury. “It makes it sound like she wasn’t exactly keen to help protect the world.”

“Her skills are far too valuable to not be utilized.” Fury glared at Banner. “What I was going to say before someone interrupted my briefing is that she is also an incredibly powerful healer.“

“How do we know we can trust her?” Wilson asked. “I’m no wizard, but shadow magic sounds like trouble at best.”

Barton agreed. “Besides, Nat has us covered in stealth.”

“You know how to make a woman feel appreciated.” Romanoff coyly winked at Barton.

While Loki wasn’t one to regularly agree with Wilson, for once he made a good point: this was something Loki was unfamiliar with, and at the very least it sounded dubious.

“Because if I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead.”

Every head in the room snapped towards the entrance, eyes wider than dinner plates as they gawked at the source of the voice.

Leaning against the closed conference room door was the subject of their briefing. In real life, Theolene Amaris was smaller than Loki expected - not short by any means, as she appeared to be slightly taller than Maximoff and Romanoff; she was probably the average height for a Midgardian woman. However, she was lanky, with elongated limbs and a slight figure. She carried her head high with relaxed posture, one leg crossed in front of the other as she leaned on the doorframe with hands loosely tucked in her pockets. She didn’t seem to be intimidated by the strong personalities in front of her, even as she crashed their briefing.

Dr. Amaris sauntered into the room, eyes scanning over each of the Avengers with a smirk on her face. When she reached Loki she paused, quirking her head to the side as the curl of her lips increased. “Looks like one of us might need to change.”

At first, Loki was perplexed by her remark. Upon a second glance, it became obvious. They both wore almost identical outfits: black button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, tucked into tailored black trousers that showed a bit of ankle, and black Oxford shoes.

He couldn’t help the snort that escaped him, a smile creeping across his own features as he allowed his shoulders to relax.

It was unusual for someone to make him laugh, especially on a first encounter. And to shock the Avengers in such a way? Well, he certainly was intrigued.

“It seems we have similar tastes in apparel,” Loki commented coolly, wondering about the nature of her remark.

Just then, Theo pulled a hand out of her pocket and snapped her fingers, instantly changing her outfit into a pair of ripped black jeans, a faded gray shirt emblazoned with some sort of sigil and the word “Queen,” and a pair of black sneakers.

Loki could feel the magic pouring off of her - while she was no god, it was apparent to him that Fury wasn’t kidding when he said she was much more powerful than she let on.

“There, that’s better.” She dropped into the seat beside Loki, leaning back and kicking her feet up onto the table before sticking out one hand. “You must be Loki?”

“Indeed, and you must be Dr. Amaris.” Loki offered a wry grin, shaking her hand with a firm grip. “A fellow sorcerer, I see.”

“You could say that,” She winked, returning the gesture with a firm grip. “Call me Theo. Dr. Amaris is what my residents call me.”

From the opposite side of Theo, Thor beamed at the sight of his brother being surprisingly friendly to the Avengers’ newest addition.

It took every ounce of self-restraint for Loki to prevent himself from rolling his eyes at his older brother. “Pleasure to meet you, Theo.”

“Don’t get any funny ideas with Rapunzel here, Reindeer Games.” Stark warned, apparently having already settled on a nickname for the newest team member.

Loki’s attention diverted to Stark, sending invisible daggers at the man. Even though they had come a long way from the distrust present when Loki first joined the team, there were certainly still moments where Stark got on his nerves.

This time it was Theo’s turn to snort.

“Rapunzel? That’s the best nickname you’ve got, Tin Man?” Theo cocked one eyebrow at the billionaire as she laughed, brushing a piece of hair over her shoulder. “I may have long hair, but good luck with trying to lock me up in this tower.”

“Watch out, or I might invent something so I can–”

“-- Then again, you named your AI system FRIDAY, so I shouldn’t be surprised,” She continued, unfazed by Stark’s threat. “Seriously, what the hell kind of name is that?”

“Says the person named Theolene...”

“First of all, I just told you - I go by Theo, not Theolene. Second, I can’t help it that my mother has terrible taste in names. Third, Loki’s helmet has horns, not reindeer antlers. For a genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist , you should know the difference.” Theo turned to the other Avengers. “And while I’m correcting people, I don’t specialize in shadow magic. I specialize in celestial magic, of which shadow magic is a subset. Dr. Doom is a joke, HYDRA wishes they gave me these powers, and my refusal to become an Avenger has nothing to do with a lack of desire to protect people, it’s because I don’t want to spend my time playing superhero when I can be more useful as a doctor. Although whichever one of you suggested I had a screw loose - Bucky, I believe? - was probably right. At least, my cousin would agree with you. He’s pissed that I agreed to this.”

For the second time in mere minutes, the entirety of the Avengers were stunned into silence. If there were two words that best described the collective response, “utter bewilderment” would be Loki’s choice.

“Wait a minute—“ Wilson blurted out, “How long have you been listening to our briefing? Have you been here this whole time?”

“Long enough to know you are just as skeptical of me as I am of you. It’s nothing personal, I know - I would be skeptical of me too! still, this has been enlightening.” Theo rose to her feet, gliding back to the entrance. She spun around, bowing with a dramatic flourish while flashing a cheshire grin at the crowd. “See you next Monday for your press conference!”

With a flick of her wrist, a series of black runes appeared all over her arms, flowing down her limbs like a stream of water. When they reached her fingertips, they rose into the air and evolved, surrounding her until she was obscured from view; in a flash of white, she disappeared, leaving nothing but a faint shimmer. The entire process took at most a few seconds, but the effect lingered far longer.

It was a finale to the encounter that was almost as dramatic as her introduction.

If Loki’s instincts were correct, she was just getting started.

And that's alright (That's alright) I found a martyr in my bed tonight She stops my bones from wondering Just who I, who, I, who I am Oh, who am I? Mmm, mmm...

#loki #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki x ofc fanfiction #loki smut #(eventually)#slow burn #loki fic #friends to lovers #longfic #wemtbb #when everything's made to be broken

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behoright · 1 year

Text

holy l b. burns (+ canes)

i could make it for you / cause you're so beautiful

summary: burnzie teaches the boys how to treat a woman by his standards.

wordcount: 5.1k

song: holy - king princess

warnings: this is absolutely depraved. 18+ only, minors dni. smut, smut, smut. BDSM, dd/lg relationship, voyeurism, cuckolding. lots of dirty talk and baby talk.

a/n: I… don’t know what came over me. Nobody asked for this, yet here it is. sorry. please let me know what you think !! also more love countdown coming before the end of the week. this is barely edited oops. also. this is a work of FICTION. it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone’s real, personal, private life. this is just a story: an idea, a creation of imagination, something we fantasize about. nothing more, nothing less.

𓏸 ₊ 📹 ⋆ ݂𓏸 ₊ 📹 ⋆ ݂

“Dude, is that the same chick that Jarvy hit the other night?”

“Wait, what?”

All the boys’ heads turned to gather around Martin, whose eyes were currently stuck on his phone.

It wasn’t unusual for the team to split into younger and older guys after morning skate. They all scattered at the rink, going through the steps of their own routines.

“That’s totally her.”

“Let me see.”

“KK fucked the same girl as Jarvy!” Martin screeched to Andrei, who was already giggling.

Jesperi and Seth looked at each other, right before fist bumping. It was easier for them to have these conversations away from the more senior members of the team, let alone any coaches or managers.

“She was good, huh? Too bad her face looked like that!” the comment from Jarvy caused the rest of them to go into hysterics.

“Oh man, I had to turn her around immediately. How are you going to fuck athletes and still look like that?”. Everyone laughed, as they kept chatting. Just locker room talk, no harm in that.

Burnzie, however, couldn’t help but overhear their conversation, as he stood here, incredulous. He tried to not let it get to him, but some of the comments completely crossed the line.

“You guys are so fucking pathetic.” he said. His voice was loud enough that it constantly stopped everyone in their tracks - all of their younger guys dropped silently and turned to face him.

“Oh, c'mon Burns, you know what we mean.”

“Yeah, I remember those days. You think you’re such tough shit, huh? You’ve been fucking for, maybe 4-5 years but think you know it all. Meanwhile, all those girls you’re running through go home and finish on their own because you pump and dump them. At the end of the night, you’re both left with nothing. An empty, meaningless transaction.”

They all stared at their older teammate with their jaws on the floor, absolutely speechless. They held each other accountable, but none of them had been called out this harshly in a while.

“Oh, you think you’ve got it so much better because you’re old, huh?” Jalen tried to hit back, awkwardly chuckling.

“Trust me, I know how good I’ve got it. I know what I’m doing.”

“Dude, what are you even talking about?” KK chimed in.

Burnzie picked up his bag and turned towards them before heading out.

“If you’re really curious, come to the ranch on Friday. There’s no game, but stop by at night. Actually, think about it, and if you want, text me. I’ll let you know the details. Perhaps you’ll see and learn something that doesn’t involve a puck.” he said, tranquil, before heading out.

⊹ㅤִ ໋⊹ㅤִ ໋

All they got was an address, a time, and a set of rules for the day. It was sent as a group text to them, so they all assumed they weren’t going to be alone. As they all individually pulled up, they recognized each other’s cars. Brent had a huge property, and his house was on the outskirts. It looked almost like a manor.

“Do you know what we’re even going to do?”

“No clue. But curiosity is getting the best of me.”

“Me too. That’s the only reason why I’m here.”

They were greeted at the door by a maid, who lead them through the house. No questions were asked - they were certainly being expected. Once reached a door at the end of the corridor, she took their phones, locked them away in a box next to the entrance, and left. They all looked at each other before Jarvy was brave enough to open the door.

The guys walked into a dark room.

It was relatively small but had an otherworldly feel that none had ever experienced before. Andrei ran his hand against the black textured wall as he looked around. Huh. Soundproof. The only objects in the room were 12 chairs, all black, neatly separated, all facing a sort of window. The boys all approached it. The glass looked tinted, but they could distinctly see through it. They could see a room, with a king-sized bed, red and black sheets perfectly tucked into the mattress. A black dresser stood against maroon painted walls. A mirror enveloped the ceiling, except for a small chandelier that dimly illuminated the room, most of the light coming from the two bedside lamps sitting on the nightstands. The floor, was a dark mahogany, partially covered by a creamy fur rug that sat in front of a lit fireplace. Last but not least, in the corner of the room closest to them, a velvet futon. On the wall opposite from them, only a door stood, tightly shut.

Neci leaned closer, placing his palms on the glass.

“This looks like one of those windows from Law and Order. You know, the ones where they can’t see you but you can see them?”

All the boys looked at each other - it’s what would have made the most sense. Most of them failed to see the outline of a door in one of the walls that surrounded them until KK pointed it out.

“Should we open it?”

“No.” Andrei said, sternly. “He stated in the text to not touch anything unless specified.”. “Man, what did we get ourselves into?”

“A show, boys.” Andrei added, nodding at the door in the bedroom opening.

Heart beating, they all took a seat.

Burnzie entered, wearing a suit. All of the guys were very used to seeing him, in his over-the-top, almost ridiculous, custom-made suits. But this one was different. He had on a simple black suit, neck framed by a dark gray tie. They had never seen him with his hair slicked back, or with the trim on his beard that he was sporting tonight.

Their teammate placed his hands on his hips, standing in front of the fire. Slowly, he took off his shoes, tie, and belt, and set them on top of the dresser. As he unbuckled his cufflinks, he finally looked up at the window, giving a small nod. The boys had been acknowledged.

“I’m not sure who’s here and who’s not.” he started. “I hope you guys remembered the rules. The maximum number of you in there should be 12. No women allowed. No one from outside of the team, not today at least. “ he sighed, placing the links on a small tray that sat on the right nightstand, the one closest to the viewers.

“You are all free to leave at any point tonight, from the same door where you came in. Once we are done, that’s where I expect you to exit. If you linger on any point of the property, be aware that I will know.” he continued, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, and looking directly at them.

“We are not able to see you from here. You can obviously tell by now that you can see every single corner of this room. Additionally, we cannot hear you either. Do with that information as you will. If I require participation, I will ask. That is the only time when you can touch that small door to your left, where you will come in here with us. Do not touch it unless I ask you to. Do not do anything in there that my staff will not be able to clean up. And most importantly, do not take any pictures or videos. Do not talk about this with anyone else. I have all of your phones, counted and safe with me, and they will be given back at your exit.”

Burnzie was now standing directly in front of the window. Somehow, the boys felt as if he could really see them.

“Do not disappoint me, boys. This is a rare chance you are getting tonight.”

He looked down and headed towards the door in the bedroom, adding before disappearing behind it:

“Watch and learn.”

All of the guys looked at each other. A mix of nerves, tentativeness, and excitement filled the room. Neci sat in the front row, palms rubbing together, while Dylan shook his back from the row behind him. The two young Russian players, Andrei and Pyotr, found a place right in the middle, next to Martin, and were raising their eyebrows at each other. Collectively nervous, some showing more than others. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Moments later, Brent walked in, accompanied by a young girl.

You.

“Holy shit, this is really happening.” Teuvo whispered from the back row.

They all leaned forward in their seats to study your face. To their surprise, as their older teammate moved from view, they saw you were blindfolded, with absolutely no clothes on.

Brent guided you to the edge of the bed. You could feel his presence standing in front of you.

“Do you know where we are, little one?” he asked.

“Um, in the room. The room.” you said, clammy hands placed on your lap.

“That's right. How did you know?”

“The crackling of the fire. It sounds different in a room with no windows. I could feel the wood floor when we came in, too” you added.

“Good job, baby. So attentive, aren’t you?” he coaxed, running a hand down your hair. He had gotten closer, heat emerging off of his frame towering over you.

You bit your lip and nodded slowly, his tone already making a puddle form on the sheets under your naked body.

Brent’s hands moved along behind your head, your senses firing extra due to the blindfold. You felt his fingers untie the knot and saw him coming into vision, eyelashes batting at him as soon as you were freed. Brent kissed your forehead and kneeled in front of you, taking his lips to your right ear.

“Do you remember why tonight is special, baby? Why is tonight a little different than usual?” he whispered. Your head snapped towards the dark glass placed on the wall to your left, heart beating faster already.

“Yeah, we have some viewers today. That’s still okay, baby?” he asked, tilting your chin back at him. You nodded, doing your best at hiding the trembling in your body.

“I need to hear you say it. We don’t have to if you don't want to, doll.” he said, unsmiling.

“I want to.”

Brent stood up in front of you once again, beginning to undo his dress shirt.

“Can you remind me of our color system, little one?” he proceeded, voice stronger than before. It must have been for whoever was watching.

“Yes, um, r-”

“Louder, baby.”

“Uh, red, yellow, and green. Stop, slow down, and go.” you gulped, raising your voice shily.

“You’re so good, love. Very good.” he said, caressing your cheek with his knuckles, now shirtless. Brent walked over to the left side of the bed, facing the window, and sat down.

“C’mere.”

You waltzed over to him, where he turned you around and sat you on his lap, facing his same direction. The idea of someone sitting behind there, watching you, was incredibly nerve-racking, and you knew Brent could sense this. He knew you inside and out.

“They’re watching, yeah. Right there, right in front of us, look.” he said, beard tickling your shoulder as he spoke.

“My baby, come. Don’t worry.” he whispered when he turned you around, his lips suddenly colliding with yours. Brent grabbed the sides of your face, intertwined his fingers in your hair, and split open your mouth with his tongue. The contact and dance you were having in your mouth seemed to ease your jitters.

“They’re so lucky to see Daddy treat you like this, right?” he asked, pulling away for a split second, before attacking your mouth once again. “Yeah? So lucky, right?” he questioned you, in between sloppy kisses. You nodded your head as he overtook you completely, swapping spit with you.

“We’re going to teach them a thing or two today, okay?”. Brent looked deeply into your eyes. As much as you contractually, verbally, and constantly gave consent, he had never, not once, stopped looking for it in you.

“Okay.” you whispered, joining your lips again with him.

Brent took the chance to pick you up, not breaking your kiss, and moved over to the corner of the bed. You were now at the closest point to the window, where they could see you and him perfectly. They had a chance to see most angles, light reflecting perfectly off of you.

Brent’s hands moved over to your thighs, easily splitting them apart and sitting you on his legs, face to face with him.

“You sit on my thighs so well for me, baby. Grind on them.” he said, as you uncertainly started moving your hips, peering over to the window. You knew that you couldn’t see who was there, but you were simply not able to shake the feeling off of you.

“Keep staring at me, baby. Only me.” he turned your face back to his with a slight tuck at your cheek.

“I want you to kiss Daddy’s cheeks as you grind on me, baby. I know you like it, c'mon.” he said, placing his hands on your hips. “C’mon my love, my princess.”

The coaxing always got you going, starting to grind your hips a little faster while kissing his face.

“Good girl. Focus on me, little one, c’mon.”. The friction of his suit pants against your bare cunt was starting to feel incredibly delightful, inching your body closer to his as you moved faster. One of Brent’s hands quickly came up and spanked your ass, pulling a moan out of you, which just invited him to smack you twice more. The more he encouraged you, the harder he spanked you, and the whinier your moans were becoming.

“Shh, shh, that’s a good girl, right there. I know it’s sensitive, little one, I know. You’re doing so well for me.” he said, calloused hand spanking your sore spot once more. “Do you see what you do to me? Do you see my cock growing for you?”

You could only moan. You had just started and already felt like falling apart right in front of him.

Meanwhile, things were getting a bit stuffier in the viewing room. The boys were no longer looking or interacting with each other, eyes peeled on the couple in front of them. Even the cockiest of them, the ones that had talked themselves up the most, had fallen silent, faces completely flushed. Many of them felt grateful that the chairs had been placed at a distance from each other, giving them more private space. They were incredibly close and comfortable with each other normally, having spent a lot of time changing and naked; they were able to play and joke around it usually, with no awkwardness found there. But this was wholly different. Pyotr adjusted his hat and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, as many of them were already.

“Ебена мать…”

“Do you want to touch it, baby?” Brent asked, looking at you, vigorously rubbing yourself on him.

“Yes, please.”

“Do you see how good you make me feel, doll? Can you feel it, in your little hands?”

“Do my thighs make you feel good too? My pants are soaked already, angel. Do my big thighs make you quiver and moan? You look so little when you sit on me like this, pretty girl. Does that turn you on?” Brent’s words felt like lightning shooting down your nervous system.

“Yes, god, yes.” you huffed, placing your forehead on his tattooed shoulder.

“Uh-uh, baby, focus on me. There you go, look up at me. Are you falling apart for me, already, my little flower?”

Only moans came out as a response. Your breath was so shallow that you could think of no words. None.

“Not yet, baby, slow down. Shh, shh. Relax, my little girl, calm down.” he tightened his grip on your hips, changing the pace.

“Make my thighs wetter, baby. Stay on my face, princess. I know, I know, baby, I bet it feels really good.”

You looked deeply into his gaze, dark and lusting for you, and took a deep breath.

“Look at that, look how good you’re being. You do exactly what Daddy tells you, don’t you?”

“I do, Daddy.”

“Tell them. Say it out loud, tell them.”

“I-, I do whatever Daddy tells me.” you choked out in between whimpers, face burning red.

“And why is that, baby?”

“Because I trust you, Daddy.” you said, gaze shooting up at him.

“Good girl, baby, good girl. You know Daddy will take care of you. Stick out your tongue, angel.”

You did as told, your connection somehow reinforced after that exchange.

Brent gave you a small smirk, and wiped his tongue against yours, feverishly, before wrapping it up in his mouth.

“Faster, now baby, faster. Show me how good I can make you feel.” Brent said, before attaching his lips to your neck, leaving the other side exposed for the guys to see. You picked up the pace again, the little break he gave you before just aiding to you edging, on the brink of falling apart.

“Spread your legs, my dirty girl. Let me play with you.” he said, lips still touching the side of your neck.

You took more deep breaths as you tried to keep it together. When you moved, you could see the wet patch left on his pants. He helped you move, legs shaking, and set up enough pillows at the end of the bed to prop you up, your wet cunt open wide and showing to all the guys behind the glass.

“Lay down, princess. Right there, just like that.” Brent bent down in front of the bed, face dangerously close to your pussy.

“Oh, you’re such a mess. So pretty for us, baby.” His fingers dipped inside you just before circling your clit, causing your head to fall back into the mountain of pillows. It was hard to hold it together, unable to stop shaking or keep your knees from collapsing in. Brent stood up, thrusting his fingers deep inside you.

“Can you hold it in for me, baby? You’re not getting too ahead of yourself, are you?”

“A little.”

“Let’s slow down, maybe, flower. Open your mouth for me. Show me your tongue again.” Brent’s soaked fingers grabbed your chin sternly, right before spitting on your tongue twice.

He proceeded to dip his other hand right in your mouth, spreading his spit all over you.

“That’s so good, look at you. Let’s keep going, little one.” As he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, a trail of saliva fell from his digits and left a string on your body; his hand was back inside you as soon as it was gone, eliciting more and more moans from you.

“God, he really wasn’t kidding.” Dylan whispered in the room, all eyes still diligently stuck on the couple on the bed.

“...Yeah.”. They did their best to hide how tight their pants were all getting but to no avail. It didn’t matter anyways - they had all signed up for this, and were all free to leave. Nonetheless, no one dared to move a muscle, too transfixed with the scene unfolding before them.

“Look at her pussy. Don’t stare at her face. Do whatever I tell you.” Brent’s voice changed from sweet to demanding, as he turned his head towards the glass to instruct the guys, who all followed commands, unknowingly to you, too blissed out to even worry.

His movements became quicker and more precise, knowing exactly where to touch you to make sure you twitched and squirmed.

“That’s right. You do so well by Daddy. I’m going to go faster now, baby. C’mon. I know, baby, I know, I know. Show them, my love. Show them how good my thick fingers make you feel. You’re so tiny I could just fuck you like this, my hands fill you up so well. Yeah?”

“Look at her, look at her, boys. You see how good I’m making her feel? Print that in your fucking heads and try to do the same when you touch a girl. Every time you see anyone from now on, you’ll think about this, this right here, and how good I can make her feel, just come apart in my hands.”

“She’s fucking trembling.”

“I know.”

“Jesus.” they all cursed.

“Give it to me, baby, c’mon, princess. Yeah, that’s right. Like that, like that, oh, fuck.” You grabbed Brent’s shoulders as you shuddered, orgasm rippling through you while he tried to coax you through it, watching you closely from above you.

“Good job, baby, good job. You are so gorgeous, baby. You’re so sweet, so kind, so pretty. There you go, pretty baby.” he said, slowing down and rubbing your folds while you came down from your peak. “Do you need some water? Yeah?” he asked, placing a kiss on your forehead, his hand gently tapping your pussy.

“She wants water. Get her some. One person only. And do it fucking quickly.”

The guys all scrambled, sitting up and looking at each other since they first walked in. They had never seen each other in this state, sweaty and bodies flushed and swollen, ready for sex. There was absolutely no water in there. There was nothing. Neci, the closest to the exit, quickly left and came back, a victorious look on his face with a water bottle in his hand. Until he realized he needed to go in. He turned and gulped at the black door separating them from the couple, laying in bed, staring at the glass in front of them. Pyotr swore at that moment that Burnzie had lied about not being able to see or hear them.

“I said fucking fast!” he raised his voice, leading Neci to swiftly turn the handle and walk into the room. As he came towards you, still heavy breathing and wide open in front of him, he thought he might fall or just cream his pants.

“Don’t fucking look at her. Look at her feet while you give me the water.”

Martin did as told, and even if feet did absolutely nothing for him, he started to understand what Burnzie had meant in the locker room. Everything about this was so goddamn erotic. After handing over the water, and hearing a tiny “thank you” from you, Martin walked back and shut the door behind him, finding his chair fast and keeping his cap low, hoping the rest of the group wouldn’t chirp him. No one said anything. They all knew that could have been them going in there soon. Some were hoping, truly, to participate.

Brent tilted the water bottle back while holding it up to your mouth, whispering reassuring sweet nothings in your ear as you quenched your thirst.

“Color, baby?”

“Green.”

“Lovely, my girl. Take Daddy’s pants off.”

You sat on your knees, working the button of Brent’s pants, while he looked at you, with the sweetest smile, until his erection sprang free. It wasn’t your first time seeing him, but it never failed to get a gasp out of it. Brent was a big man, and he was big and thick everywhere. As you leaned down to wrap your tongue around the tip of his cock, you felt a gentle tug at the back of your head.

“So sweet, my angel, but I want you already. Come rub yourself all over Daddy’s cock.” he said, sitting up back at the corner of the bed, legs confidently planted on the floor.

“How bad do you want it, flower? You’ve been so good, waiting for me. All of those guys, they can’t satisfy you like I do, isn’t that right?” he looked up at you, while you were spreading your soaking folds up and down his shaft.

“No one else can, Daddy.”

“What a pretty, good girl you are, baby girl. C’mere, take me, princess.” he said, immensely satisfied with your response, and guiding you all the way down his cock, until you were flush together at the hips.

“Oh, oh, my god.”

“I know, baby. You can take me though, right?”

You nodded, hastily, as you began to bounce on him. He was so big you felt like he was splitting you in two, in the best, most pleasurable way possible. All you could do is moan, moan and moan. And whimper, head fully tilted back, as a tear slid down your cheek.

“My angel, are you tearing up? That’s okay, relax, my love. I got you. What’s your color, princess?”

“Green, green. It’s just so…, big.”

“I know, I know. You can tear up, that’s alright. I’m right here, my dove.”

You bit your lip, hard, and looked back at his face. He was in heaven, and not afraid to show it.

“You feel so fucking good, flower. You feel so amazing, so snug around me. No one makes me feel like this, princess. God, fuck. Look at me.”

Your eyes connected once again, Brent looking for …something in you.

“Can you take a little more for me, my sweet girl?”

“Yes, yes.” you said, not stopping your movements.

“Slow down, yeah, like that. Milk Daddy very slowly.” he planted a kiss on your cheek, right before grabbing your face and uniting your tongues once again.

“I need one person here. Just one. And let it be a new one. Fast.” Brent raised his voice, facing the glass.

All his teammates looked at each other once again, yet this time, Andrei was the only one to stand up.

“Must be your turn, brother. Good luck.” Sebastian uttered, from the back row.

Andrei looked around, slightly panicked. It sure seemed like it was going to be him. He took a deep breath before opening the connecting door, moving fast in order not to aggravate Burnzie. He walked in and simply couldn’t help but stare at you, fully naked with your eyes rolled back, grinding and bouncing steadily on his older teammate.

“Don’t you dare fucking look. Go over to the dresser.” Brent ordered.

The young Russian strode towards the dresser on the opposite end of the bedroom, eyes planted on his shoes.

“Middle drawer on the left. Tan rope. 1 ft. Bring it over.”

Andrei grabbed the rope out of the organized bunch, shut the drawer and walked back, heart beating out of his chest.

“Stand behind her. If you have to look, look at her feet. Hurry up.”

Andrei stood behind her, the only thing he could see apart from the bottom of your feet was his bulge, rock hard in his slacks.

“Can you do a double column tie?”

“Uh, no.”

“Fucking-, anyone else? You have 5 seconds to come out if you do.”

2,3,4,5. No one.

“Useless. Get close to her, I’ll tell you how to do it.” he said. “You keep grinding, my girl, you’re doing so well. Can you put your wrist behind your back for Daddy and his friend? Yeah? Good girl.”

Your small wrists appeared in Andrei’s field of vision, head diligently down. Andrei attempted at not getting distracted, but he was sure there were sweat beads emerging from his hairline. He followed all the instructions, which Brent made sure to explain as efficiently as possible.

“Fold it in half.”

“Now, turn it counterclockwise.”

“Put that piece over and under, and squeeze it. Make sure it’s not too tight, so we’re not hurting her.”

Before he realized it, her hands were securely bound behind her back. Andrei mentally patted himself on the back. He caught a glimpse of you, slowly crumbling on top of Brent. All of the guys could have walked in right now, and Andrei thought you would have not noticed nor cared. You were completely wrapped up in Brent.

“Can you be good, baby? Can you say, thank you, Andrei? For Daddy?”

Dazed and with your head resting on Brent’s shoulder, you moaned a thank you, which made Andrei’s knees buckle.

“Out of here now.”. Andrei walked back, shirt sticking to his back, into the room with the guys, who were all staring at him, jaws on the floor. Once again, no one said a word. Andrei honestly couldn’t wait to get to his car, but he was too curious to leave just yet.

“How does it feel, baby?” “Good. So good, yes.”

“You sound so amazing, my little dove. What’s my name, love? Tell them. Tell them.”

“Daddy. Your name’s Daddy.” you said, increasing your speed.

“Good girl, baby, good. You’ve been so good today I’m going to fill you up so nicely, flower.”

Brent’s calloused hands balanced you carefully as you kept fucking yourself on his cock, which was growing harder as the boys grew more impatient with every move.

“Squeeze, baby girl. Squeeze me tight. Cream all over me, fuck.” the air in both rooms was getting warmer, exponentially.

Your eyes locked for one last time before you crumbled all over him, juices running down Brent’s lap as you shook.

“See, boys? Look how beautiful. Shut up and listen to her, hear how incredible she feels. God, just looking at her is going to make me cum.” Brent fucked up into you and kept calling out for you as he shot his seed deep inside you, his big thighs tensing up under you. Little one, baby, angel, princess, love, flower… every single one rolling right off his tongue over and over, eyes fluttering.

The guys moved around more and more, uncomfortable in their chairs.

Brent quickly flipped you over, immediately untying your hands after you both caught your breath again. He held you tightly in his arms, rocking you back and forth, caressing your cheek, and placing kisses all over the marks on your wrists.

“You did so well. I’m so proud of you, angel. I’m always proud of you. My gorgeous princess.”

He kept going for a while, feeding you water, some candy from the nightstand, and enveloping your body fully. In the meantime, none of the guys could barely hold it together, all trying to see what was going to happen next, or waiting to speed home to have some private time.

“You guys are lucky I’m not making any of you come out here and lap up her juices. I’ll be nice today. Get the fuck out of here.” Brent said, lastly, before going back to paying full attention to you.

The chairs squeaked at how fast everyone sat up, exiting through the same door, retrieving their phones, and heading towards their cars, not one word was spoken. None of them could believe what had happened, what they had witnessed. There were no goodnights or goodbyes.

They all raced home, speeding into the night, a thousand memories already forming in their heads.

One thing they knew for sure. None of them were ever going to forget this night.

#brent burns #carolina hurricanes #smut #nhl imagine #nhl smut #nhl fic #nhl #andrei svechnikov #teuvo teräväinen #sebastian aho #seth jarvis #pyotr kochetkov #jesperi kotkaniemi #jalen chatfield #martin nečas #dylan coghlan #kikiwrites

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blueaetherr · 10 months

Note

could you pls write a second part to “to love and to be loved”? maybe a continuation where trent confesses or where they’re already together? you choose<3

when fates align

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x gn!reader [they/them]

warning(s): none

summary: the one where trent and y/n unknowingly witness their fates fall into perfect position

author's note: part two to this imagine

now playing: favourite by nicki minaj ft. jeremih

During the early night, Trent and Y/N were up in the hills of LA overlooking the grand sight of the City of Lights. Up there, alone together as an unbothered pair, there was amusement and enjoyment as they smiled and laughed at whatever and drank whatever they wanted, vibing to the music they chose to play aloud for everyone yet nobody to hear.

Considering the end of the season Trent decided to on holiday, and with Y/N. It was not only his chance to drift away from his daily life but to also spend some valued time with his friend. Fortunately, Trent knew his dear Y/N so well, so well that he understood that they were still in their feelings about their ex-lover even if they refused to say it. Either way, Trent wanted Y/N to feel better about themself, to have them neglect their past lover in mind and thought.

The open environment, the calm scenes they had sight of almost every day, being some miles away from their relationship problems, blasting their favourite tunes without fear of judgement, playing both childish and explicit games—it provided Y/N with enough assurance that let them decompress and relax for a minute, letting Y/N enjoy the time spent together with her friend, something Trent deeply cherished for some right and wrong reasons.

"I remember playing Just Look Over Shoulder while I was getting ready for some party and he told me you know it's sampled, right?" Y/N started with their focus on the picturesque views of LA. "And obviously I knew 'cause you can just hear MJ's voice throughout the song, but I didn't know what song was sampled. So he introduced me to the original song and from then on, my appreciation for sampled songs went to another level, especially this one," they exhaled softly before turning to Trent with a hopeful glance. They clasped their fingers together. "So what do you think?"

After listening to the I'll Be There, Trent took the earphones out of his ears. Then he nodded in approval, his facial expression remaining positive and bright. "Yeah, I think it's really nice."

"Oh yeah?" Their eyes gleamed with excitement. Not that Y/N expected their music taste to be turned down, but rather she cared a lot about his opinion— because it was Trent.

"Of course," Trent said with a small laugh, adjusting his position on his car's hood. He cleared his throat, before folding his arms. "I don't think you can go wrong with the Jackson 5."

"I know." Then there was a slight dip in their smile, their eyes falling to their lap. "I hate that I love it though, and every other sampled song."

"Wait, why?" Trent wondered as a frown settled across his lips, his eyes clouded with sympathy. For a minute he thought he had done everything to let Y/N destress and relax. I mean everything had been going so well for some time until some moments ago. It was a mild guess, but he could guess it was caused by the thought of a past lover.

Y/N shook her head. They knew they would find some level of shame in their reasons. "I love them 'cause of him." And I'm correct, Trent thought. With their fingers picking at their shorts, they explained, "Every time I listen to them– some even being my favourite songs– my thoughts go back to him. I think about him and I don't want to, you know?"

Trent's eyes wandered around the scenery before they returned to Y/N, asking, "Do you hate your ex?"

"No. Not really." In truth, Y/N could never hate their ex-partners, both more and less recent ones. Their relationships never ended with arguments, hateful words or with resentment. Instead, the two parties always ended on mutual terms and exchanged their best wishes before parting ways. There was nothing to hate or even dislike about their partners when respect was a given for all of them.

"It's the fact that everything we had—which was something really good—has kinda been left for me to hold for now," Y/N held their hand up as if they were holding something. "From what I've seen, he's kinda moved on."

Trent nodded slowly, carefully thinking out his response. In simple, he wanted to restore his friend's happiness and confidence. "Your liking towards sampled songs shouldn't be burdened by your ex introducing them to you," he assured, moving his shoulders up and down. "I mean unless you can, I can't see you unliking them any time soon."

They bit the inside of their cheek. "Then what do you suggest I should do?"

"Redirect your feelings about sampled songs towards other things and people," Trent advised, "That way you can enjoy them without having your ex in mind."

Y/N hummed, "Other things and people, huh?"

Noticing the humour and suggestiveness in their response Trent's lips stretched upward, his dimples on perfect display. "Anything and anyone you want."

Y/N tilted their head slightly. "Like a new partner?" When his face dulled Y/N let out a chuckle, holding their stomach. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, relax," they reached their hand on the nape of their neck and leaned back a bit. "I know I'm not in the right place to be in a new relationship."

Although Y/N wasn't quite over their ex, their self-worth and confidence still remained. They understood well that they were lovable and all their other relationships were just simply unfortunate and temporary, and not wastes of time. That there would be a time, maybe after a few more relationships, when they would remain in a stable one. That somewhere there was someone who they sooner or later could define as home and experience, fulfilling their desire to be loved. They just had to be patient and willing to be given the right person rather than trying to rush fate.

"Remember a few weeks ago when you told me you had someone in mind?" They asked as their eyes settled on the views in front of them. They couldn't help it—so mesmerising and delicate to the eye from a high rural position.

"Briefly, yeah," Trent coughed out a response, his words opposing his thoughts so well. He hadn't expected the two to return to the conversation. Not only was it a few weeks ago but he thought Y/N would take it as him speaking hypothetically (even though he wasn't). "What about it?"

"Well, I've been thinking about it, you know, 'cause I love and value your opinion so much. So I've been trying to imagine the next person I might be with, trying to guess if you were describing one of our friends or maybe someone I haven't met yet. And it's been hard 'cause everything you said I mean..." Y/N stretched their words as they lifted their hand above their head, "You set the standards high like that."

Monitoring their facial expression Trent was quick to notice their mild sadness. He patted their shoulder before assuring softly, "You've always had high standards." He didn't just say that to reassure his friend—he truly believed Y/N held high standards when it came to dating. This was evident in the fact that he never found himself hating or disliking any of their ex-partners. What they saw as their low standards was the fact their relationships failed to last for significant lengths of time.

"Yeah, but they're always kinda redundant by the time the relationships end. Anyway, I've thought, and thought, and thought and... I don't know. But whoever it is, wherever they may be right now, they do sound wonderful," Y/N nodded, their recent frown forming into a smile. And though it was small, it managed to reach their eyes perfectly. Then they directed their words towards Trent, "Just like you, so really, I have nothing to stress about, right?"

Something quite evident about the pair's friendship was the fact that Y/N highly appreciated Trent, in both platonic and otherwise ways. He provided their bests through their worst, he provided them reassurance when their confidence was low. He always went beyond the expectations of one's typical friend and for that, they would forever remain grateful that he was involved in their life every day.

For some time there was some quiet between the two, soft music from the speaker brought along lounging in the air. The blend of everything, the soft music, the default romantic scenery they found themselves in, the invisible feelings in the air, and Trent's loud thoughts overwhelming his judgement—was enough for Trent to say what had been on his mind for some time, somewhere as early as Y/N's first relationship.

"I didn't want to tell you a few weeks ago 'cause I thought it would be cruel considering you just broke up with your partner, and I also didn't want to pressure you into feeling any type of way and I'm not expecting anything in return. That wouldn't have been nice, would it? And to be honest, I feel like I shouldn't be saying this now either since you still seem to be getting over your ex. But I just wanted to let you know, that's all."

Y/N's face fell at his words, some confusion yet understanding falling over them. They didn't know exactly what Trent was saying, but they were willing to tune in carefully.

"I'm the person I've had in mind for you. I'm this wonderful person I was talking about a few weeks ago. I'm the wonderful person you're talking about now, the one who set your standards high apparently. Again, you don't have to say anything. I-I—" Trent exhaled deeply as he closed his eyes. His lack of sight gave him some clarity, letting him focus. "Clearly, you've taken my words seriously, so I feel like it's only fair to tell you so I don't lead you astray when everything I was talking about was about, well, me."

Opening his eyes Trent was faced with Y/N. Slowly, realisation dawned on their face as their mouth fell open. It was then that Trent felt panic cross over his face. Did he just say all that for everything to not work out in the end?

But then they came through, their facial expression beginning to open up. "I don't know, Trent... I feel like you're forcing fate right now."

"Really? You've been thinking and wondering about that? " Trent scoffed out a small laugh, one full of relief and happiness. Relief and happiness in finally knowing that the feelings he had been holding towards someone for some time weren't all for nothing and one-sided. "I don't know about you but it sounds like everything's falling into place just right."

Y/N shrugged with a smile, one shy yet somehow still mirroring Trent's. "Maybe is it, you know." They declared, "You're one of my favourite people, Trent. Well, you are my favourite person." Unconsciously, their exes were based on their dear friend, Trent. His vibrant personality, his dull humour, his high standards. That's why Y/N's ex-partners were all so perfect in not only their eyes but also Trent's eyes; Y/N liked everything that was Trent while Trent would, obviously, love everything that was him.

Together, the two shared kind smiles, laughter and conversations. There wasn't anything different about them, but the fact that both Trent and Y/N learned something new about one another—something both of them had wanted to be true for so long—just made their interactions now seem like a different and new experience, something where their visible emotions and feelings were involved.

There was so much to say, so much the two wanted to say, so much that needed to be said. For understanding, to ease minds, to learn all the details there was to know.

But Trent and Y/N would wait. In that moment, emotions were overwhelming and one wanted to say this and that that it would be too chaotic. Allowing what the two wanted to happen right now would ruin the events that were supposed to happen, rushing fate. So Trent and Y/N would be patient and willing for when it would be okay to move forward, and for once, together.

In the meantime, Trent and Y/N would enjoy their time together somewhere in the hills of LA. They would cherish their final moments together as just friends, knowing that when they would return to their holiday home, when they would return to England, or when a few weeks or months have passed, the two would get to spend time together as everything they have wanted for each other and for themselves—loving (Y/N) and being loved (by Trent).

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold fluff #trent alexander arnold oneshots #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold x gn!reader #gn!reader #trent alexander arnold x black!reader #black!reader #football imagines #trent alexander arnold blurbs #football fanfiction #football fanfic #football oneshots #football fluff #black reader

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forever-rogue · 2 years

Note

hiyaaaa👋🥺 love love your stories! I check your blog like I'm reading the news every morning hahaha. I hope you're feeling better with your cold, those are the worst🥺

I was wondering if you could write something about steven walking into his flat and finding his s.o dancing while they make dinner, just soft steven being like ✨im so lucky how did this happen to me✨ (even better if the song playing is London Boy for some cute teasing from steven)

AN | Thank you for being so kind! I hope you enjoy some softness and fluff! 🥰🥺

Pairing | Steven Grant x Fem!Reader

Warnings | None

Word Count | 1.3k

Masterlist | Main, Moon Knight

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

It had been a horrible, no good, very bad day. Steven wasn’t one to complain but even he was pushed to his limits at times. And it took a lot to drive him to that point.

It had all started that morning when his alarm didn’t go off and he woke up late after a night of tossing and turning. Sleep seemed to evade him lately and the dark circles under his eyes appeared to be perpetual. Yet he still usually managed to drag himself out of bed on time and get to work or whatever he had to do that day. But not today; he’d woken up almost an hour late, listening to the pounding rain tapping against his window. If you had been there he knew you would have woken him up, but this was one of the nights you hadn’t stayed over.

Once he’d shrugged off the last bit of drowsiness, he’d dragged himself out of bed and took a quick shower, throwing on clothes, grabbing his bag and coffee and ran out the door. The first time he’d forgotten to put on shoes, which caused him to grumble under his breath as he ran back inside and slipped them onto his feet.

Out in the rain, his trusty umbrella had decided to succumb to age and a few holes seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. He’d tossed into the rubbish bin when he realized it would be no use. The bus was late, nowhere to be found, and it appeared that not a single taxi seemed to exist that morning. In a moment of haste and not wanting to waste more time he’d run to the museum. By the time he arrived he was thoroughly soaked and very late, which didn’t go over well with Donna. She ragged on him for almost fifteen minutes, despite his explanations and apologies.

The brightest part of his morning was when you sweetly texted him good morning, my sunshine followed by a selfie of you with a cute puppy that came into the veterinarian’s office that you worked in. It had made his heart flutter and he practically melted into a puddle as he stared at your picture. How were you so pretty? Before he could get too lost in his musings of you, hordes of people seemed to come into the gift shop at once, throwing all sorts of questions at him.

He’d forgotten his lunch and when he’d gone to purchase something at the café in the museum, he realized his wallet was at home. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale he repeated to himself before stalking off to the breakroom in his still damp clothes, his stomach growling. You’d texted him a few more times, telling him to have a good day and that you’d see him tonight for date night. That alone was enough to put a smile on his face - he just needed to make it through the day and then he’d get to see your beautiful face again. He couldn’t wait to hug you, to kiss you, just to be with you.

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

When he finally made it back to his apartment that evening, he was thoroughly done with everything. The rain had been continuous all day, just as heavy as it had been in the morning, and he was once again drenched. Unlocking the door, he was instantly on edge when he heard music playing in the kitchen - but quickly relaxed when he realized it was you. The spare key he’d given you really did come in handy.

You were so absorbed into whatever you were doing that you didn’t hear him come in. You were singing along to…was that Taylor Swift? Maybe - he remembered that you’d said you liked some of her music at some point. When he spotted you, his breath caught in his throat as a huge grin stretched across his features. There you were, wearing one of his hoodies and a pair of his boxers and socks as you shimmied about the kitchen.

How? How on earth did he get so lucky to call you his? You were completely unaware of the reverent awe he watched you with, so unbothered and relaxed but still the most wondrous and ethereal being he’d ever met. And you were his, just as he was yours. He sighed dreamily, unable to take his eyes off of you as you carried on. You always claimed you hated how you sounded when you were singing, but to him it was lovely. Steven watched in silence for a few minutes until you turned around, suddenly aware of his presence.

“Steven,” his name was like the sweetest honey dripping from your lips as your whole face lit up at the sight of him. You darted over to him, throwing your arms around him without a moment of hesitation, “my love.”

“Hi,” was all he managed to choke out as you pulled back and gently kissed him. Oh. Oh. It was so easy to get lost in your touch and taste and he would have been a happy man if he continued to kiss you. You suddenly stopped when you carded a hand through his inky curls and realized his hair was wet - all of him was wet.

“What happened?” you took a step back and looked him over, a frown tugging down the corners of your pretty mouth, “oh poor thing! You’re soaking wet! Let’s get you out of these clothes and into a hot shower.”

“Bad day,” he managed to stammer out as you touched his face, gently stroking his cheek, “umbrella broke, no bus, forget my wallet, had to walk there and home.”

“Silly man,” you huffed with a light of laughter, “why on earth didn’t you call me? I could have picked you up or sent a cab your way.”

“Didn’t want to bother you…”

“You are never a bother, love,” you promised, leaning in and pressing your forehead against his. His eyes closed as he inhaled slowly, already feeling much warmer from your touch and gentle words, “please don’t ever hesitate to ask me for help, or anything. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he offered you a small smile before you kissed him again, “it’s just been…it’s been a horrible day if I’m being quite honest.”

“Well I hope I can make it better,” you whispered, “I made your favorites for dinner and found a movie to watch. Let me take care of you.”

“You don’t-”

“I wasn’t aware I asked a question,” you teased as he sighed in content. You started to push off his soggy jacket. He remained still and let you work, rendered speechless by your love, “we’re going to get these wet clothes off and then into the shower with you. I’ll have tea and dinner ready by the time you’re done. I’ll put a new towel and clothes in there for when you get out. Okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed as you started to gently nudge him towards the shower. He turned around and paused for a moment and studied you. Your face flushed with warmth under his watch but you couldn’t help but smile back at him, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Steven-with-a-v,” you promised, “now get in the shower and change before I do it for you.”

“Yes ma’am,” he kissed your cheek before started back towards the shower but before he slipped out of his sight, he grinned, “that wouldn’t have been such a bad alternative you know!”

“Off with you!” you laughed at the man you were so in love with, “and don’t get cheeky or argue with me!”

“Never!”

#steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #steven grant x fem!reader #oscar isaac #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac x you #moon knight

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