#shes gonna see some stuff in the future when the doctor offers her a trip

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Lessons Learned

Spencer Reid x (female) Reader (but reader doesn’t actually appear in the scene, that’s more of a postscript thing) 

Word Count: 1225

Warnings: Non-explicit discussion of sex, in an oddly sweet and wholesome kinda way. 

A/N: In which Emily gives Spencer some advice! 

Inspired by @softspence​ / @homoose​ and this ask / this fic! Because it’s been a while (or, y’know, a week) since I wrote about the importance of communication during sex, and then I got to thinking about the whole “men being threatened by vibrators” thing, and... fic happened. 

“I swear to god, Kevin’s eyes just about bugged out of his head when he saw mine,” Penelope is saying, as Spencer slides back onto his chair. 

“They get so threatened, right?” Emily exclaims. “It’s a tool, not a competitor.” 

Penelope sighs. “God. Men. No offense, Spencer.” 

“None taken?” he says tentatively. “Um… what are you talking about?” 

“Vibrators,” Emily informs him, and Spencer chokes a little bit on absolutely nothing. “And the time a man told me female ejaculation is a myth, and all the other reasons I prefer having sex with women.” 

“Maybe I’ll just — um,” Spencer mutters, looking around desperately for an excuse to be somewhere else. For a second he considers joining JJ and Derek on the dance floor, but that’s its own kind of hell. 

“Which part of that statement made you uncomfortable?” Emily asks, laughing. “C’mon, Doctor Reid, I’m sure you have some statistics on the female orgasm.”

Spencer grimaces, but offers, “Women orgasm during heterosexual intercourse roughly sixty-one percent of the time, compared to eighty-six percent during lesbian sex.” 

“There you go,” Emily says, slapping her hand on the table with a grin. “And I bet it’s only that low because women don’t always expect reciprocation. Sometimes I just want to go down on a chick, you know?” 

Spencer just looks at her, wide-eyed, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. 

“I’m gonna go get another drink and get my dance on,” Penelope interrupts with a giggle. “Be back in a bit. Spencer, try not to die of embarrassment while I’m gone.” 

“I should probably switch to water,” Emily muses, draining the last sip of her drink. Once Penelope is out of earshot, she adds, “I’m sorry, Spence, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”  

“No, it’s not that, exactly.” Spencer frowns down at the table. “It’s just — never mind.” 

Emily is studying him, uncomfortably sharp even though she’s way past tipsy. “You still haven’t, have you? Gone down on a girl, I mean.” 

Spencer’s entire face is hot. “That’s… you’re correct.”

“You’ve had sex, though,” Emily says. 

Either Spencer’s been saying some embarrassing things in his sleep during jet naps, or she’s… well, a profiler. Right. 

“She wasn’t —we didn’t — once, and it was a… perfunctory experience.” He sighs, dropping his face into his hands, and admits all in one breath, “Idon’tlikebeingbadatstuff.”

When he looks up again, Emily’s smiling at him, not unkindly. “Are you looking for some advice?”

“I know the theory, but —”

“Not something you can learn from a book. Yeah. Believe me, Spencer, I am happy to talk about this stuff,” Emily says. She’s obviously sincere, and Spencer feels some of his embarrassment melt away. “Not enough men want advice, and that’s part of the problem.” 

Spencer shrugs. “Then… yeah, I’m asking you for advice.” 

Emily nods and folds her hands, sitting up a little straighter; she means business. 

“Lesson one: make sure your fingernails are clipped and filed and clean,” she says authoritatively. 

“That makes sense.” 

“Second: take your fucking time. Okay? Don’t just, like, faceplant tongue-first onto the clit.” Spencer almost chokes on his drink at that, and Emily smirks before continuing, “Women are beautiful, right? Seems obvious to you and me, but a lot of the time, they don’t believe that they’re beautiful, and when they’re naked, they tend to worry about whether you think they’re beautiful.” 

“Huh.” 

Yeah, none of the books ever mentioned that. 

“So take your time getting there. Appreciate the rest of her body. Kissing, touching, licking, just — looking, and exploring, and letting her know that you like what you see. That you like all of her, and not just what’s between her legs. If you can make her feel comfortable — not just comfortable with you, but comfortable in her own skin — that’s going to make it a whole lot easier for her to enjoy herself. Got it?” 

“Got it,” Spencer says softly. 

Emily takes a sip of her drink and clears her throat. 

“Okay. Here’s where a lot of dudes get tripped up: fucking communicate. Just ask her what she likes, and then actually listen to what she says. There’s nothing wrong with not being confident. It’s a whole lot better than being over-confident.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think over-confident will be a problem for me,” Spencer says wryly. 

“Good. Because way too many guys go into sex assuming that they already know how to blow her mind, or whatever, and that this is a chance for them to, like, amaze her with their moves, and a lot of the time, they got their moves from porn and they suck.” Emily’s getting a little rant-y. She takes a deep breath and continues. “Anyway, just — just ask her. She might not be comfortable, at first, saying it bluntly like that, so listen to her body, too, right? Touch her in different ways and pay attention to how she responds. Fingers, tongue… suction, penetration… everybody — every body — is different.” 

Spencer nods, and hesitates before saying, “I’ve heard a couple men talk about it, and they always make it sound — intimidating? And not necessarily… enjoyable.” 

“Men are fucking weird,” Emily says bluntly. “It’s awesome. Not like jizz tastes like chocolate and strawberries, anyway. But, like, it’s… human, you know? There’s something hot about it, even if it’s not what you’d usually enjoy. And the wetter she gets, the longer you spend down there, the better she’s going to taste.” 

Spencer’s cheeks are burning again. He rubs his eyes, trying to cover his discomfort. “And how — I mean…” 

“You’ll know,” Emily says wryly. “And also, when it’s over, she’ll be sensitive, and she’ll push you away, because it’ll be too much.” 

“Oh.” 

“And it’s not — it’s not necessarily comfortable, you know? Feels like you’re gonna fucking suffocate, sometimes. You’ll have her thighs around your head, and she’ll be all trembly, trying to move her hips, maybe pulling your hair, but —” Emily’s smiling now, equal parts dreamy and smug. “— feeling someone just fall apart like that, feeling their whole body shaking — making them feel good — it’s amazing.” 

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Spencer mumbles.

“Really, though,” Emily says seriously. “The most important thing is that you take your ego out of the equation. Stop worrying about being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ at it. Whether it’s your fingers or your mouth or your dick or her fucking vibrator, ask her what to do, and then do it. Understood?” 

“Yeah. I understand.” He gives her a grateful smile. 

Emily studies him for a moment and then says, “For what it’s worth? Just knowing you as a friend, knowing how much you care about people, I think your future partners are in good hands.” It’s unusually earnest for her and it catches Spencer off-guard, but before he can think of a response, she flashes him a bright grin and adds, “If they want to thank me, though, my favorite flowers are roses.” 

Spencer laughs. “I’ll remember that, if I ever meet someone special.” 

“You will. Don’t worry.” 

“Thanks, Em.” 

Sure enough, he meets you a few months later. 

Your breathless, “How did you do that?” was meant to be rhetorical, but he tells you the whole story anyway. You have a huge bouquet delivered to Emily’s apartment, along with a bottle of wine and a card that says, “Can’t thank you enough.”

.

.

.

More CM fic here. If you enjoyed this, please reblog or leave a note here! 

#criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #emily prentiss #emily prentiss fic

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

note from denise: hi hii 🥺 I’m so happy and i love this chapter even though it’s all over the place so I’m sorry plz forgive me 🙇‍♀️

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter eight

You heard Hana and Jamie bickering in the living room as you took the burnt part off of the bell peppers you roasted. You were looking out the window in front of the sink every once in a while to check up on the kids. They were having fun playing with their father and uncles. You’ve never seen them smile brighter.

You were happy that they finally had their father, Tobio was a good figure but obviously not their real father. Earlier Rin gave his first scolding to your son for shoving Akira and he also told Akira that calling people idiot wasn’t nice. You couldn’t help but snicker behind your cardigan since he was obviously nervous and a bit awkward but it all worked out in the end. The twins and your best friends were peering through the door at the scene and they were in awe.

It just looked so natural. You, Rin and the kids. All that’s missing is a pet dog or cat. Jamie thought if you and Rin really try then you both could fall in love again and be a nice family all together. She grew up with divorced parents so she knew how tough it could be. She doesn’t want to hear you and Rin fighting in the future about upcoming holidays. Or maybe eventually having to separate the twins.

“Hana do you think you could ask the guys if they want to stay for dinner?” You said from the kitchen. “Oka-“ “No y/n, I think you should do it.” Jamie popped in. “Huh? I’m literally cooking.” You said as you reached into the bag of roasted peppers. Your fingers were stuck onto the black crisps. “You’re trying to avoid them.” She squinted and you rolled your eyes. “No I’m not.” You defended yourself. “Yes you are.” She deadpanned. “You never say no to setting for your kids. Even if you’re busy you tell them to give you five or ten minutes but when Rini asked you straight up said no since you needed to cook. I think that stung him a bit. He probably wanted to show off his skills to his dad.” She said and you frowned slightly. “I mean it’s fine, she’s probably uncomfortable which makes sense. The worst people in the world are just chilling in her house. It makes sense that she’s on edge.” The familiar voice said and you turned to see Atsumu leaning against the breakfast bar between your kitchen and living room. You didn’t want to say he’s right..but I mean..he’s right.

“...would you like to stay for dinner?” You asked awkwardly as Jaime sighed and walked away. “Mmm depends, what are you making?” He teased to try to help you ease up. “Food, either take it or leave it.” You said plainly as you flipped the pepper on the stove. “I miss your cooking so I think I’ll stay. Let me call Osamu so he can help.” He said and you immediately protested. “No it’s fine, you guys are the guests. I’ll feel bad.” You said and he chuckled. “Y/N-Chan..” he started, “Osamu owns his own restaurant, all he does is eat, cook, and work out. He would want nothing more than to help you cook. It’s in his DNA.” He said and you rolled your eyes. “Fine ask Rin if he wants to stay too.” You said. “Oh he’ll want to stay, plus we all carpooled together.” He said and you nodded and he left.

“Yo, we gotta go.” Jamie said from the doorway. “Did you say bye to the kids?” You asked and she nodded. “Sorry Y/N, we have a doctors appointment.” Jamie frowned slightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll call you later.” You smiled and she nodded sadly. After a quick goodbye hug they were out the door and Osamu was waiting in the kitchen to help you cook.

“Alright boss, let’s get started.” He said as he washed his hands and you chuckled.

Dinner went good, the kids mainly talked and were the stars of the show. After dinner they wanted to show their uncles and dad their Minecraft worlds on their tablets, courtesy of Tobio.

Suna offered to help clean up but you insisted it was fine and to spend as much time with the kids and he reluctantly agreed and you were left alone.

Your phone buzz after you sat on the breakfast bar to enjoy yet another cup of tea and you almost spilled it when you saw who was calling. “Holy shit, holy shit.” You muttered and the guys immediately turned to you from their spots on the couch. “I’m going to take this phone call I’ll be right back.” You said leaving Rin in charge and you answered while you made your way down the hall.

“Hello?” “Hi is this Y/N? This is Natsuo, the songwriter and director for the soundtrack for Kimetsu No Yaiba. From my understanding you are voicing Nezuko and Shinobu, correct?” “That is correct, sir.” You replied, “Well I stumbled across your portfolio and resume and I phone called your old vocal coach and he said some things about you.” He said. “Well I hope they’re all good.” You chuckled nervously.

“Yes they’re more than good actually and I wanted to offer you the opportunity of singing the opening for the anime, if not then maybe the outro. Would you be interested? Of course you’d have to come to the studio and sing for us and we’ll decide but I wanted to ask first since I know you also work as a volleyball commentator as well.” He said and you gasped.

“Yes sir of course, I would be honored...” you said happily. “Great! I see that you come in the studio on Monday for the read through of the script. Can you come earlier to audition?” He asked and you agreed and set up a time.

Normally any other person would want to audition after but if it’s singing, you can’t eat or drink sweet stuff before because it messes up your throat and you can accidentally burp and embarrass yourself. So you’d rather do the singing audition before and eat whatever is at the snack bar during the read through.

When you hung up the phone you squealed and did a little happy dance. You quickly took a deep breath and you made your way out of your office back to the living room. “Um...where are the twins? The Miya’s I mean.” You asked when you saw that only Suna was chilling with a kid on each side of him. “Osamu needed to check up on his shop and Atsumu had to go to the gym. I decided to stay behind because I didn’t know how long you would take.” He replied.

“But didn’t you all carpool?” You asked and he nodded. “I can Uber. Don’t worry.” He said and you nodded and sat next to Rini. “Kids guess what.” You said happily and they both looked up from their tablets. “I go to the studio on monday—“ “THE STUDIO CAN WE GO?!” They immediately asked with bright eyes. “Uh—I don’t know guys, I’m working and Jamie has work too i don’t know if someone can watch you guys at the studio.” You said. “What time and I’ll go. I can keep them entertained.” Suna spoke up.

“I’m gonna be there for a few hours..I’ll have a read through of the script and a song audition before that..” you told him. “Wait what do you do anyways?” He asked curiously and the kids gasped. “You don’t know what mommy does for a living?! She’s the coolest mom in the world.” Rini exclaimed with extended arms to emphasize the world. “Listen to the voice of the narrator.“ Akira said and shoved the tablet in his hands. It was Peppa pig. Honestly they couldn’t find a cooler role you played in? Even the side characters were fine, but Akira had to choose peppa pig.

Rin listened to peppa as she scolded her little brother Georgie. And finally he heard your voice narrate what happened and his eyes widened. “No way, you’re a voice actor?” He asked and you nodded. “Wow imagine that. You were always so shy and now your voice is heard by millions across the world.” He teased and your face tinted.

“Well when you put it like that it freaks me out!” You snatched the tablet from his hands and the kids looked at each other with raised brows. “I’m only kidding. But it’s pretty amazing that you do that. Any big roles you’re playing soon?” He asked. “I may or may not be acting in Kimetsu No Yaiba.” You said which was a manga series you both were obsessed with when you were together. “Say sike right now.” He gasped and you gave him that I’m serious face.

“Congrats Y/N. That’s freaking amazing. May i ask who you’re voicing?” He asked and you shook your head. “That’s a secret.” You said and he sighed. “Man got my hopes up for nothing.” He muttered causing your kids to giggle.

“Momma we invited dad to the field trip tomorrow he said yes.” Akira spoke up and your eyes widened. “Wait what—“ “I didn’t necessarily say yes. I wanted to make sure it was cool with you, first. They told me that they were homeschooled and you take them to different places for field trips all the time.” He tried to correct Akira and you nodded.

“Well...I mean..if you want to go then it’s fine. We’re going to an aquarium.” You said and the kids gave him puppy dog eyes. “Alright I’ll go then. It’ll be fun and you guys can show me what you’ve learned.” He smiled softly and the kids cheered. Is this really a good idea? You don’t know. But if your kids are happy, then you’re happy.

“Rin It’s getting late they have bath time and then they need to sleep.” You told him as the kids ran up and down the hall racing with Rini’s toy cars. “Alright then I’ll leave.” “I’m not kicking you out of anything-“ “No it’s fine I get it. I’ve intruded in your territory long enough.” He chuckled and you nodded. “Children of the corn! I’m leaving.” He called and immediately the kids emerged from the hallway and began whining and protesting. “You need to take a bath then go to bed. It’s late. I’m seeing you tomorrow anyways.” He knelt down on his knee to be of eye level with the kids.

“But we don’t want you to leave. I won’t sleep if you don’t read me a story.” Rini pouted and Akira nodded and you both sighed. “Fine, I’ll read you a bed time story and you will go sleep.” He told them and they nodded.

You rounded up the kids for a bubble bath and Rin was sitting on the counter as you explained what kind of kids soap you use and such. But he was mostly watching the kids play with the bubbles. “Hey Akira do you think I’ll look cool with my hair like this?” Rini asked with his messy wannable mohawk, he looked more like the grinch. Akira looked at her brother and snorted. “You look like a troll.” She muttered causing Rini to pout. “You’re so mean.” He mumbled. You got the shower head and told Akira to close her eyes as you finished washing her hair and body and she was finished. “Do you wanna try to finish Rini while I change Akira?” You asked Suna and his eyes widened. “I only know how to bathe my dog, I don’t know how to bathe a kid.” He protested. “Weren’t you watching me?” You asked. “I was distracted with the bubbles, okay.” He deadpanned and you sighed. “Rini help your dad.” You said plainly and left despite Suna’s protests.

“Alright princess, let’s get you dried up and ready for bed, yeah?” You asked the shivering girl in your arms and she nodded. You placed her on the bed and dried her hair a bit and you began to put on her lotion. You helped her into her underwear and she wanted to wear her fox onzie so you began helping her feet in when Rini stumbled in naked with Rin chasing after him with a towel. They were both soaking wet.

“Oh my god.” You sighed. “Boys.” Akira mumbled and you nodded. “You’re worse than washing a dog.” He said as he held him and dried his hair. “Woof.” Rini snickered and Suna flicked his forehead. “I’m soaking wet now.” He deadpanned to his son. You zipped up Akira after successfully placing her in her onzie and you moved on to your son. “Stop giving your dad such a hard time, he’s new to this whole parenting thing ya know?” You told him as you began to rub his face with lotion. “Akira go brush your teeth.” You told her and she pulled her dad along with her. “What do you want to wear to sleep?” You asked. “Can I wear my Fox onzie too?” He asked and you nodded. “Of course.” You replied and helped him into it too.

Rini went on his way to brush his teeth and you were met with the view of Rin helping his daughter floss and you just wanted to melt. This was so freaking cute. You don’t know if your heart could handle the cuteness. “Alrighty next victim!” Rin said and picked up Rini. He began to help him brush his teeth. You helped Akira down from the counter and she went off to look for a good book. You decided it was best to get one of Tobio’s shirts and shorts he had lying around for Rin so he wouldn’t get sick.

When Rini finished brushing his teeth, he went out to help Akira search for a book. “Are you still soaked?” You asked and Suna nodded. “Here wear this so you won’t get sick.” You tossed him some gym shorts and a random T-shirt. He gave a small thanks and you closed the bathroom door to leave him to change. “Alright where are my little foxes?” You hummed and you found your little demons kids jumping on your bed and patiently waiting to read. “Why aren’t you both in bed?” You asked and they stopped jumping and turned to you. “We wanna sleep here with you and daddy!” Rini said and you almost choked on air.

WITH RIN?! ARE THEY CRAZY OR CRAZY?

“Baby he’s not spending the night. He’s only going to read you a bedtime story then leave. You’ll see him tomorrow when you wake up.” You told them and they both had the saddest look on their faces. “But we wanna sleep with you and daddy. Please can he spend the night. Please please please!” Akira begged.

“I don’t mind if you don’t. It’s only for the night.” Rin almost whispered in your ear and you turned your head to him. “Are you sure? What about tomorrow? What are you going to wear?” You asked, “We can stop by my apartment in the morning before we head out.” He said and you raised a brow and turned back to your kids they were already comfy on the middle of your bed and you released your nth sigh of the day. “Fine, one night.” You answered and grabbed your pajamas and left to the bathroom to change.

When you returned Rin was on the left side of the bed with Rini right next to him. Akira patted your spot on the right side and you sat against the headboard of the bed. The twins had two books they wanted you both to read but they all fell asleep while you read the second one. You looked to see Rin, Rini and Akira sleeping and you can never get over how similar they looked like Rin. You quietly hopped out of bed and put the books away and turned off the lights.

You woke up to the sun shining on your face and arms around your waist. You felt a weight on your chest and you sighed and opened your eyes. You blinked a few times to make sure you weren’t seeing things but sure enough, Rin was sleeping on your chest. Just like old times and you tried to control your breathing. You don’t want to be the type of ex who yells and they fall off the bed. You realized the kids were not on the bed too and if Rin was cuddling you, then they must have been gone for a while.

“Rintarou—the kids—WAKE UP!” You quickly shook him and he opened his eyes and quickly moved away. He felt around him and he noticed the kids weren’t there. You both paused in silence to see if you can hear them but when you didn’t you quickly yeeted yourself off the bed with Rin following right at your tail. You opened the door to the twins room and you saw them in their own bed hugging their plushies. You held a hand over your chest and you leaned against the doorframe. “My heart literally dropped.” You turned to Rin.

“Mine did too. Do they usually do that?” He asked. “No, never.” You sighed and closed the door.

The twins opened their eyes and they looked at eachother from across the room. “I told you mom would get a heart attack. We’re lucky she didn’t cry.” Akira whispered. “Whatever at least they cuddled together like a nice married couple.” Rini whispered back and Akira nodded. “I hope mommy and daddy get back together.” Akira said. “They will, our plan is perfect.” Rini whispered mischievously and Akira smiled.

TAGLIST IS CLOSED

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime69 @tpwkatsumu @ohshirabu @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

#haikyuu suna #miya atsumu #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintarō #suna x reader #haikyuu x you #miya osamu #suna imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! x reader

[ill-skillsgard]

Bred For Blood - Part 19 - Promise-Promise

Title: Bred For Blood

Warning: 18+ - sex/mature language & themes/gun violence/substance abuse etc. *mentions of coma/unconsciousness, injuries, and sex in this part*

Characters: AU Axel Cluney, AU Ivar Lothbrok, AU Valter x OC

Description: A bright, young survivor meets an acid-gun slinging headhunter with a knack for melting faces and connections to a prodigal Utopia embedded in the heart of a deadly forest. Violence and passion incite a battle of fealty while betrayal nips at Zed’s heels.

Note: Sooo many feelings in this part, you guys. Next part will be the finale! My gosh, it’s actually coming. Stick around because it’s gonna be a doozy! Much love to all the readers who’ve waited patiently and shout out to any new readers who’ve taken the time to let me know their thoughts. I appreciate all the comments and reblogs forever! With that being said, please comment and reblog. It’d really make my day. XO

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

Zed waited for Vee next to the window overlooking the vast green ocean of vegetation. The sliver of sun painted the sky aflush, rolling west in shades of violet. Pinprick stars perforated the melting spectrum, and the phantom moon showed its impatient face fully before the horizon swallowed all light. It was a soothing array of scenery, and Zed rested her head on the glass until footsteps drew her attention to the door. She smiled as Vee came in carrying a plate of zucchini fritters and mashed chickpeas, returning the warm greeting silently.

"Hungry? Axel wasn't a fan. He wants a cheeseburger from McDonald's," said Vee, handing the platter to Zed.

She accepted the dish with a nod. "Did you tell him why that's not possible?"

Vee sighed. The dark beneath his eyes seemed permanent now. "I didn't get into detail. He wouldn't understand."

"Shouldn't we make him understand?"

"It's too soon. The big lug just woke up. It was a challenge just to get him to lie there. Soon he'll want to leave the lab, and I don't know how he'll fare around his adoring fans."

Zed bit into a greasy fritter and scooped a dollop of the paste with the leftover crescent. "He'll love the ego-boost, I'm sure."

"That's what I'm afraid of. All those people will confuse him. Who knows what that might do to his head. We're in a delicate situation."

"Axel seems to like me. Maybe I can convince him to stay put."

Vee grimaced from the thought of Axel working Zed over with his motoring mouth and crass sense of humour. The scientist had grown accustomed to nights alone with her, cooking together and discussing their future. The night they'd spent alone in the greenhouse rang in his heart; the night he admitted his feelings and begged her to squash them. The thought of her alone with Axel picked a scab he didn't know he had.

"You're worried about something," Zed said.

Vee snapped from his bittersweet reverie and sighed. "Am I ever not worrying?"

"True," Zed snorted. "Now, eat. I can't finish this all myself."

The pair finished the plate before Vee set the dish aside and motioned her to the sofa.

"We need to talk about what we found in Glott's notes. I know we can't test this theory, but we should treat it as the truth," said Vee.

"Okay, well, if that's how we're approaching this D negative blood sample... What's the next step? We have no medical supplies. I checked the med tent in the courtyard for the third time just for fun."

"Then we have to visit Glott and get some answers. And by we... I mean me."

"Valter—"

"I know you don't want me to leave, but what other option do we have? Every day we waste here is another step backward."

Zed shook her head until a thin braid dislodged from behind her ear and swung in her face. Vee resisted the urge to tuck it back. The girl's face swivelled toward the window, and she pondered and watched the premature stars twinkle across the bruised sky.

"We go together," Zed said firmly. "I won't budge on that."

"And what about Axel?"

"We wait until he's better. We'll need him to navigate the way."

"And if he never recovers?" Vee asked.

"Then we go anyway. All three of us. We get Axel better, and we go together."

Vee inhaled through his nose as Zed screwed her eyes into his. When he nodded, a smile unfurled across her face, shadowed by the last drops of brassy sunlight.

"I hate this plan, but I suppose it's all we have," said Vee.

"Promise we'll all stick together."

"Of course, Lea. I won't leave without you guys. Promise."

"Promise-promise?"

"I double promise with a cherry on top. Stick a needle in my eye and call it macaroni."

Zed stifled laughter beneath her palm. "I think you've been hanging out with Sam too much."

"That, or I'm just tired."

"I'll let you sleep now. You look beat."

Vee twisted his mouth in lopsided agreement. "Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna hit the shower first. Unless you want to?"

"No, you go ahead. I'll stay here a little longer," Zed said as she laid her temple against the cool glass and looked out over the forest floor, now drowning in the twilight.

~*~

In the morning, Zed left the apartment and padded down the hallway in her mismatched slippers. She slowed as she turned the corner and found the brothers talking. Axel's eyebrows were locked in a line, and Vee looked up at her with relief.

"Lea, can you help me explain to Axel why he can't leave the hospital room?"

Axel whipped the covers off his thighs. "This place is fuckin' weird, and I know you're lying to me. That doctor you had in here is a whack-job. Something isn't adding up."

"Stay put," Vee commanded.

Zed rubbed the sleep from her eyes and prepared to take both sides with a long breath. "Axel, your brother is right. You can't leave yet. Just stay a little longer and heal."

"Where the fuck am I, Vee? This isn't like any hospital I've ever been to. And why can't I use the phone to call mom and dad?"

Axel's question erased all the sleep Vee had gotten the night before. His fatigue was contagious. Zed approached the bed and brushed Axel's shoulder. The touch diffused the tension in his upper body and opened him up to a new explanation, one that hadn't come from his kid brother's mouth.

"There are no phones here, Axel. You're right... This place is different. We're missing a lot of things you’d consider normal."

"Look, darlin', I know you're just trying to make me feel better, but none of what you're saying makes any sense. What do you mean there's no phone? There's electricity, isn't there? So why can't I hobble my way to a pay phone or borrow someone's cell?"

Vee and Zed exchanged pained looks. The younger brother kneaded his brow and offered Axel the same explanation he had before, reworded. Axel refused to believe a word and scrambled off the gurney, throwing Vee's hands off him as he limped a few steps and realized his mistake.

"What the fuck is wrong with my foot? Did someone sliced my ankle in half? What is happening to me? I feel like I'm on an acid trip that never ends. I go to sleep and see crazy shit, only to wake up in an even crazier place where there're no phones and no fucking food! You're talking in goddamn riddles, Vee. The least you can do is get me a Baconator for my trouble! I can't walk—I can't even jerk off 'cause my good hand is fucked. You gotta help me out."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Axe? There are no restaurants!"

"Bullshit! Sweetheart, come on, you can help me, right? Can you please just grab me something greasy? I'll pay you back, I promise. I'm good for it."

"I wish I could help you, Axel, but Vee's right. There's nowhere to get stuff like that anymore."

"Anymore? What does that even mean? You guys are talking like I slept through the apocalypse or something!"

Zed turned to Vee, who blocked the way to the courtyard. "Come on, Axe. Just settle down, and get back into bed."

"Are you gonna find me some painkillers then?" Axel faltered toward the bed and hoisted himself onto the flat mattress with his right arm.

"I'll see what I can do, buddy, but will you promise to stay here for a little longer?"

"Whatever," Axel scoffed. "What else am I gonna do?"

Zed waited until Axel slid back under the covers and tilted his face away from them both to assess Vee's mood. She suspected Axel's recovery would be difficult. Still, when she pictured him with his eyes open again, she heard laughter and saw game nights, shared wine and inside jokes knitting them closer together—not disarray and a friend who'd forgotten her. And if Vee had left the day he championed himself, Axel wouldn't have any flagship of his past. The scientist's presence tranquillized her despite Axel's rotten mood fouling the atmosphere.

"You're hungry, Axel?" Zed asked.

"Starving."

"I'll try to track down something tasty to eat. It won't be a greasy burger, but maybe I can find you something close to fries. I'll make it myself if I have to."

Axel flipped his eyes to the girl standing with her arms knotted behind her back and smiled. "Oh, darlin'...You're a sweet thing. I'd hate to ask, so I'll just accept the offer. Or maybe Vee can go, and you and I can chat a little more?"

Zed chuckled at the man's slyness. "I have some other things to do. We’ll talk when I get back."

"Don't rush for me, honey, but if you do, I'll take it as a good sign," Axel said with a wink.

At the cost of one of her knit blankets, Zed found someone in Athena to chop and bake a sweet potato in peanut oil. She bartered for garlic and salt to sprinkle on the dish. The redheaded child spotted her making transactions and stopped her at the mouth of the Hives with a cloth of fermented cashew cheese and a large chunk of bread that sat out overnight but was still soft. She offered the foodstuffs to Axel on a thin wood slab, and he accepted with an obsequious grin. He relinquished his dissatisfaction and warmed next to Zed.

"Aw, darlin', look at you go. How can I thank you for your trouble?" Axel asked as he chomped a crispy strand of sweet potato.

Zed stepped back from his bed, blushing. "It's okay, Axel. You don't have to do anything but get better."

"Will you stay with me for a while? If I have to stay in bed, it'd really make my life easier if I have someone to talk to. That is if you don't mind my chattiness."

"Sure. Let me grab a chair from the apartment," said Zed.

Axel finished his meal quickly, and as if he hadn't eaten at all, felt the pang of hunger moments after the last bite of bread. His appetite woke up ravenous, and no amount of homegrown food could satiate the growl.

"I might need to eat again in an hour," Axel informed as Zed dragged the chair across the floor. “I’m a big boy, you know.”

"That's fine. I'll find you something in a little while ."

The injured man nodded and sighed, eyelashes fluttering over tired green eyes. A bloated silence proceeded, and Zed wondered how to initiate a conversation. Vee told her not to confuse Axel with present-day news, but all she wanted to do was ask about Richard Glott's underground bunker and with who he'd crossed paths that left him slashed and maimed.

After a couple of deep breaths, Axel murmured, "I see you in my dreams every time I fall asleep. Is that strange?"

Zed hid her shy smile behind her palm. "Oh, stop."

Axel shimmied his torso higher on the bed and frowned in pain. "No, seriously. Not trying to be slick, honey. I see the most fucked up things when I sleep. You know the kind of dreams so vivid, you wake up and your heart’s pounding, thinking it's all real for a minute? Then you're like... No way."

Zed shifted closer to Axel's bed. "What do you dream about?"

Axel smiled to himself. "You, mostly... Us. You and me doing crazy shit together. Sometimes I'm in the desert, and I see this airplane in the distance. It's on the ground, and I ride toward it, you know, you're not gonna ignore a crashed plane, right? Then I find you there, but these guys are hurting you, and you're going nuts trying to shake 'em, but there's too many, so I shoot 'em all, and they melt like popsicles. You stab one good, though."

"What else?" Zed asked.

"I dunno... Sometimes it's just me and you cruising through the desert, and I get the feeling you hate me, but I kinda like it. I'm happy you're there, even though we're in the middle of nowhere, and I have no idea what's gonna happen next."

"Sounds like some pretty weird dreams."

"They're so lucid. It's like a movie, and I'm the main character, and you're... Well, you. Like my cool sidekick."

"Sidekick, huh?" Zed scoffed.

"Yeah, you have this air about you that's like not to be fucked with. Then things always get real dark. I don't even want to tell you about it 'cause you'll think I'm fucked in the head."

Zed knew this part of the story and lowered her eyes to the floor. "It's okay. You can tell me if you want. It's just dreams, right?"

"Nah, I'll just leave it at that. It's not sex stuff or anything if you're wondering."

"Your dreams are more entertaining than anything I have going on today."

With Zed's green light, Axel inhaled deeply before launching into the story of their past. Before he uttered another syllable, a severed connection sparked in his head. His eyes grew large, and he looked around the makeshift hospital room, awestruck.

"In my dreams, we're trying to get to Vee. He needs us for some reason."

"What does he need?"

"Some science shit, which makes total sense because he's a scientist. He's actually a scientist, and not just in my dreams."

"Axel... These dreams you've had... Do you think they have significance?" Zed asked carefully.

"Totally. They have to. Right? Or am I fucking crazy?"

"You're not crazy, Axel. I promise."

"But what if I am? This place... I get such a bad feeling when I'm awake in this room by myself. Vee won't tell me where we are. It's like he's hiding something, and he never lies to me about anything. We don't do that."

"Vee just wants you to get better. He's under a lot of stress, and your recovery is a big part of that. We didn't think—he didn't think you'd make it through. Another complication is the last thing you guys need."

Axel went quiet again and fixated on the dust motes and bolts of lightning crackling up his leg. A storm grew behind his eyes, the same torrents Zed saw when she tried to stop him from leaving Kinderfeld and her behind. Sickened by the thought of Axel sneaking off, she touched his arm and offered a warm smile.

"Talk to me, Axel. Please. Don't keep anything inside."

Axel glanced at her small hand on his tattooed bicep and the lightning in his body faded.

"We were friends in a past life," Axel claimed.

"We're friends in this life."

"Can I tell you one other thing, then I promise I'll stop talking about my bonkers dreams?"

"Yes. I don't mind at all."

Axel curled his bicep and touched Zed's fingers, feeling the motion out until she grasped his hand.

"I think I have to take you somewhere."

"Oh, yeah?" Zed giggled. "And where's that?"

Axel blushed for the first time and brought her hand to hold next to him on the bed. "Not like on a date or anything. I just get this feeling that I'm supposed to protect you, even though you seem capable of looking after yourself just fine. This dream voice keeps reminding me to stay with you and Vee... Like I'm not allowed to let either of you out of my sight. Especially not you."

"Then don't," Zed said.

He squeezed her fingers gently. "I won't."

~*~

Word of Axel's consciousness seeped out of the lab and into the village. Nobody knew who had made the discovery—Vee blamed Samson while Zed suspected Nalani, who'd waltzed by the lab doors at a suspiciously slow pace several times each day—and leaked the information. They barred visitors and only allowed the doctor in to help change Axel's bandages until Ivar arrived.

Axel was alone, humming a tune from his teenage years when the king came through the doors and stopped to stare at his bed-ridden friend.

"Zee, you're awake? And no one thought to tell me?"

"Sorry, hombre, but I think you have the wrong room. Name's Axel."

Ivar flashed all his sharp teeth in a sly smile and wagged his finger. "Always a joker."

"No, really," Axel chuckled, then went deadpan. "Wait... Who are you?"

Before Ivar spoke, Vee walked into the lab and froze when he saw Ivar standing a few feet from Axel's bed.

"Ivar. I wasn't expecting you."

The king sneered and motioned toward Axel. "What's with this guy?"

"Hey, maybe we can talk for a second?" Vee invited Ivar down the hall, out of earshot.

Ivar glared at the scientist. "When exactly were you planning on telling me he woke up?"

"That's the thing, Ivar. You don't understand... Axel's suffering from amnesia. It's common for coma patients to lose parts of their memory. Right now, he's in a very touchy state. He has no idea where he is, who you are, or what any of this is. I've tried to keep people away from him to avoid confusion, but now everybody knows. It's not good for him. Subjecting him to all this new information can cause anxiety, panic... Who knows. We're trying to ease him back into life."

"What do you mean he doesn't know who I am? I'm his best friend."

"Trust me. Axel doesn't even remember serving in the army."

"That's crazy. We should tell him—"

"No. It's too big of a shock. Axel's already gone through hell. Imagine trying to explain our world to somebody who has virtually no idea what's happened in the last couple of years."

Ivar pondered and didn't respond to Vee's relief, then sighed as though he accepted the explanation.

"So what does this mean for you? I assume you're retracting your claim and staying in Kinderfeld?"

Vee twisted his mouth to the side. "How can I go now?"

"You volunteered."

"That was before Axel came home. He needs me. I'm the only person he recognizes. Give me some more time with him, get him back on his feet and see if he'll start remembering, then I'll go."

Ivar crossed his arms across his burly chest. "Who knows how long that might take?"

"Would you leave someone you loved in that state?"

"I'd do what's for the greater good."

"He's your best friend. He's my brother. Axel needs us right now, Ivar. Think of all he's done for us. We owe it to take care of him until he's fit to at least walk again. I need him to remember what happened so I can get a better idea of what's going on outside."

"I suppose you're right," Ivar conceded. "You can't go out blind by yourself."

"Yes, you're right," Vee said with great relief.

"So what now? I can't talk to him?"

"You can speak to him if you like, but try not to bring up things that might confuse him. Don't talk about the army or mention recent times."

Ivar looked over his shoulder at the apartment's open door and heard the muted humming of a girl filtering through the corridor.

"And how's Lea taking all of this?"

Vee stiffened. "She's helping out."

"Axel has no idea who she is? He really doesn't know what's happened?"

"Not that I can tell. He keeps asking for cheeseburgers and to call our parents."

"Wow," Ivar whispered.

"Yeah, it's hard."

Ivar went quiet, distant, and shook his head slowly before inhaling through his nose and squeezing Vee's shoulder. "I trust you, brother. Maybe we'll talk more about your expedition in a few days when things have a chance to settle with Axel."

"You got it."

Axel pretended he wasn't trying to listen to the conversation between his brother and the brown-haired man with the striking blue eyes when the pair returned. Ivar nodded at Axel, his eyes awash with sympathy for the indisposed man.

"How are you feeling, Axel?"

"A little on the shitty side, my man. Not gonna lie. Hands busted, foot's bum... Can't fuck my way to a decent meal in this place, and everyone's tiptoeing around like I'm a sleeping baby. Gotta say I've had better days."

"Well, I hope you heal up quick. There are a lot of people who want to see you."

A coy smirk unfurled over Axel's face. "Yeah, I kinda get that impression. Sometimes, I see people looking in through those doors. I feel like a panda at a zoo. Everyone wants a peek at little ol’ Axel, huh?"

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"Cheeseburger?" Axel asked hopefully.

"Would if I could, friend."

"Goddamn it," Axel lamented.

Vee widened his eyes when Ivar looked at him, confirming what they'd discussed in the hallway.

"Say, how do you stay so beefy if there's no meat in this place?" Axel asked Ivar.

"I get my protein where I can. Try to stay fit. I'll get someone to bring you something good to eat."

Axel snorted. "Yeah, that's what that sweet-lookin' one said, but everything tastes like tree bark. No offence to her. She tried her best, and I'd never insult a lady's cooking to her face."

Ivar sucked in his bottom lip and nodded. "Well, I'll see what I can do for you, Axel. Get better soon."

Vee held his breath until Ivar left the lab and shrunk once the doors closed.

"You sure have a way with words, don't you?"

"Everyone who walks in here acts like they know me."

"We might have to move you to the apartment. Put a cap on your visitors."

"Who was that?" Axel asked.

"That's Ivar Lothbrok. He kinda runs things, in a sense."

"Nice guy."

Vee scoffed. "Yeah. Nice."

An itch stuck in the back of Axel's head, and he grew quiet once again, trying to unravel the mystery he'd woken up inside. He was a figure in a snow globe, a permanent fixture in a landscape rife with faces he'd seen in dreams. Sitting up in his bed, Axel wondered what laid beyond the confines of his glasshouse. Never one to follow the rules, even under the firm guidance of his smart younger brother, Axel decided once everyone fell asleep, he'd find himself a walking post and go exploring.

~*~

Zed woke to the sound of Vee's soft snoring coming through the open door of his bedroom. The possibility of sleep retracted with every second she spent staring at the smooth, globular ceiling in the dark, trying to make shapes out of the dream residue behind her eyelids. The sofa stiffened her back, and she twisted her spine until air bubbles popped and her muscles strained from the motion. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and squeezed her eyes shut for a few minutes, but Axel's stories followed her from sleep, brushing up on her with sharp quills. Since Axel painted his dream world, she hadn't stopped thinking of him and mourning the loss of his memory for the both of them. Axel didn't know his missing pieces were dancing under his eyes each time he slumbered, and she longed to stitch them together to create the full picture.

She squinted into the darkness, fatigue long since faded, and left the apartment. Light on her bare feet, Zed padded down the hallway and turned the corner to find an empty bed. Her heart twinged from Axel's absence. She considered going back to the apartment to tell Vee his brother was missing but found herself propelled to seek Axel out herself. There was nowhere in the lab a man of Axel's stature could hide, so she went out to the courtyard to begin her search. The floodlights cast pyramids of light over the foothills but revealed nothing but stone paths and glittering grass ranks. She started left first, then changed her mind and shot right toward the warehouse. Zed minded her steps as she picked up a jog, extending her legs to clear the roiling yards until she reached the square entrance of the warehouse. A guard leaned against the steel wall next to the exit, blinking and wiping a hand over his face to rouse himself. He saw Zed across the cement expanse and stood up straight.

"What're you doing out here?" The guard's voice clattered through the chamber.

"Sorry," Zed said, casting a thorough glance around before retreating into the light and shadow of the courtyard again. She rushed to the Hives, taking quick strides to reach her abandoned apartment before anyone else noticed her. After a quick knock, Zed opened the door to find her former living quarters as deserted as ever. Nobody had claimed the space in her absence, nor was Axel's adjoining apartment occupied. Both rooms were empty.

Zed's search for Axel continued and grew in urgency with each lonely cove and space she found. As she made her way around the central dome where the courtyard bordered the largest hill, she stopped at the mouth of the Chrysalis and addressed the men standing guard.

"Have either of you seen someone limping through here?"

"Nobody's come 'round here, Zed. Who're you looking for?"

Zed cocked her head. "Who do you think?"

"You mean Zee?" The man on the right asked. "Thought he was paralyzed."

"So it's true? He's awake?"

"Please don't tell anyone. Not yet."

The bearded guard rose a dark eyebrow at Zed. He was one of Ivar's highest-ranking patrol. Zed recognized him from the night they'd brought in the Zeronaut captain, Monk. He often stood by wherever Ivar went and didn't talk much unless addressed. "Ivar know about this?"

"I don't know what Ivar knows. Vee communicates with him, but we're trying to keep this from the general public."

"What do you think, Fen? Should we tell Ivar?" The scrawny, clean-shaven guard asked.

Fen sneered and told his partner to close his mouth before angling his torso toward Zed. "We'll keep an eye out, petite fleur."

Zed nodded and continued on her way, but there were few more spots Axel could hide unless someone had intercepted him and invited him into their hovel. She thought of Nalani, who often wandered the courtyard at odd hours and Trinity, who adored Axel and might jump at the opportunity to lead him to a private alcove. The two of them shared living space in Athena. Zed wanted to keep the search party light, and asking around would only spread curiosity like wildfire.

She continued touring the courtyard, her naked soles sore from hurried walking. Finally, she stopped at the greenhouse gate, its series of coiling iron bars and metal flowers welded to the columns in intricate clusters. Zed lifted the latch and pushed the gate open, taking care to shut it quietly. The greenhouse where the citizens grew aloe and berries was the little-known getaway spot Axel and Vee coveted as their private paradise. Zed zigzagged through the raised beds, taking care not to trip over the irrigation hoses and climbed the wooden steps at the back of the third square house. Around another corner and through the thick blackberry bushes nestled in rectangles of sodden earth, Zed rushed to the spot under the sky where the light poured in but found nothing.

"Shit," she whispered, out of breath and reeling in the thick, tepid air.

Zed looked up to the cloudless velveteen sky, crushing disappointment wringing her heart. In a throng of shadow off to the right, a figure shifted and startled the woman backward.

A tired voice called her name.

The shady form lengthened, struggling to stand. Once it stood at its full height, the vice pressing Zed's chest disappeared. Axel hobbled into view, using the overhead pipes to help himself along.

"Axel! There you are. Oh my God, you had me so worried. Why did you leave the lab?"

"The lab? Is that where you've been keeping me?"

Zed clapped her palm over her mouth. Axel gave an elongated nod, eyes wide and accusatory.

"Is that what I am? Some kind of experiment?"

"No, Axel—"

"What are you and Vee doing? Tell me why he's keeping me locked up. Tell me where the fuck I am, Lea. Please. This place... Something about it seems wrong. It scares me."

Axel wilted against a plant bed as Zed approached and caught his elbow to keep him upright.

"Axel, don't be scared. Please, I promise you're safe. We're not trying to keep you captive. This is all difficult to explain, and you were asleep for so long parts of your memory are missing. Vee's only trying to make it easier for you to cope."

"Cope with what, Lea? Cope with the fact I'm a prisoner? That I can't sleep because my nightmares are so vivid, I feel like I'm dying? That people watch me like some sideshow freak?"

"Everything," Zed sighed. "The new world. How can we explain all this to someone who woke up in the past?"

Axel looked up through the skylights and whimpered. "Something terrible has happened, hasn't it?"

Zed, wounded from the dejection in her friend's voice, led Axel to sit on the floor, then sat next to him and draped her arms over his shoulders, resting her cheek on the thin cotton shoulder strap of his tank top.

"I wish I could say you're wrong, but I can't lie to you, Axe."

"My instincts were right. Something is very wrong. After that Ivar fella came through, I started getting this feeling you all weren't telling me something on purpose."

"Don't be angry with us, Axel. We didn't know how to tell you."

Axel leaned his head on Zed's and sought her hand to hold. She slid her fingers through his and gripped tightly. "It's okay. I get it now. I'm supposed to be here. You and me... We're meant to be together. Otherwise... Why would I see you every time I close my eyes?"

"Axel," Zed whispered. "I missed you so much when you left. I thought I'd never see you again. Now everything is different."

"I'm sorry. If I hurt you back then... I didn't mean it."

"Just don't leave me again. Please. I can't fool myself into happiness without you in my life."

"I won't leave. I can't."

"Promise?"

"I promise, Lea."

"Promise-promise?"

Axel chuckled and kissed the top of Zed's head before laying his cheek on the ruts of her braids. "Yeah. I promise-promise."

~*~

Axel and Zed laid on the floorboards and watched the stars twinkling above while the chamber filled with water vapour, obscuring the glass until the condensation evaporated. When the infinite black sky lightened to meteorite violet, Axel used Zed as a crutch to stand up. He stole a fistful of blackberries, stuffing the fruits in his mouth and mashing them until inky juice seeped from the corners of his lips. He complained about his ankle, which he'd suffered walking on during his solo excursion to the greenhouses. Zed berated him for wandering off and helped him down the steps and through the rows of potato plants, arms locked, their pace slow to accommodate Axel's injury.

A murmur greeted the pair as they approached the iron gate. A dozen villagers gathered around the entrance to witness Axel emerge with smiles on their faces. Frozen from the elated faces beaming at him, Axel pulled on Zed's arm, alerting her to the hoard of onlookers.

"Who are they?" Axel asked.

"Zee! Happy you're awake!"

"What happened to your arm, Zee? Are you okay?"

"He looks terrible."

Zed opened the gate, and the crowd dented but didn't part. "Make room, please!"

"We want to talk to Zee!"

Axel then realized the group addressed him, their wide eyes drinking in his bruised and broken state with smiles unfitting his poor condition. An overwhelming sense of worry touched his skin, and he grabbed for Zed to lead him, but they huddled around the gate until a tall head of blond hair sliced the crowd in half. Vee shouldered past, his eyes hooded and brow furrowed.

"Axel! Lea! What the hell are you doing out here? Lea, did you let him out?"

Zed frowned and drew her shoulders up. "Of course not! I'm the one who came looking for him."

"Let's go. Come on, now. Everyone make way. Go back home!" Vee barked.

"We want answers! What's happening outside the walls?"

"We'll answer your questions later," Vee said disdainfully. "Lea, help me get him back."

The trio staggered to the lab, breathless from the trek over the bowing foothills. Vee waited until they were behind closed doors to deliver a speech about how irresponsible and defiant Axel was, how his behaviour might cause unwanted ripples where the scientist required placidity. Axel hoisted himself into bed and accepted his lecture, sullen and quiet, occasionally glancing at Zed, who also wrung her wrists.

"I told you not to leave the room, Axe. Why? Why can't you listen to me for once in your goddamn life?" Vee asked.

"You're not my mommy, Valter. I can do what I want, and frankly, I don't appreciate you keeping secrets from me!"

"What are you on about?"

"Oh, don't play dumb. You've lied to me this whole time! About where we are, what's happened to me. I think you know much more than you lead on."

Vee scoffed and looked to Zed for reassurance. The girl stood still with her shoulders hunched.

"Lea, help me out here."

"Well, Vee... Maybe it's time we tell him everything. There's no use hiding the truth anymore. He already knows something's wrong."

"Yeah!" Axel cried. "I'm done sitting around twiddling my thumbs. You have to tell me what's up. How did I get like this? What the fuck happened to me, and why can't I remember anything? I don't know how I got here or who all those people are out there."

"That's the thing, Axe... We don't know what happened to you. You left, and when you came back, you were unconscious and hurt. We don't leave this place, so I can't tell you anything more than that. I didn't know if you'd wake up and certainly didn't know you'd have amnesia when you did."

Axel turned to Zed for verification, and she nodded her head regretfully.

"It's true, Axel. I wish we could tell you more."

"Then at least tell me where I am. Start there," Axel demanded.

Vee and Zed stood speechless for a moment until she sighed deeply. "Vee, maybe we should give him the postcards and his journals."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're right, Lea. Go get the box. Tonight's gonna be a long one."

Zed hauled the box of postcards and dog-eared journals into the lab and hefted it onto the foot of Axel's bed. Vee unpinned the postcards from the corkboard and offered them to Axel with a pinched smile. Zed sat in her chair while Vee laid on the floor, a long arm slung over his eyes as Axel began to read aloud from his workbooks. The three of them listened to the stories Axel had penned years before while he was in the infantry as if none of them had heard the tales. From time to time, Axel stopped narrating and glided over the lines, taking in details he should have known, but couldn't place. During these silences, Zed and Vee would look up at him to assess his emotions, whether or not the words shifted the pieces into place or made any difference at all.

Axel took in a strained breath. "Ivar and I aren't talking. He wants to be the leader on this ship, and if things don't go his way, he turns into a giant douche-nozzle," he broke into giggling at his insult. "I haven't eaten in three days, and the water supply is low. We're down to a cup a day each. It's not enough, but it's gotten us through so far. One of the guys got sick, and they've taken him below deck. He throws up constantly even though there's nothing in his gut and howls all night in agony. I swear to God I'll shoot him in the head tomorrow if he doesn't let us sleep tonight. Someone needs to put him out of his misery."

Zed grimaced, and Vee stared at the ceiling with dry eyes, unflinching from the story.

"Day six... I now know what rat meat tastes like."

"Oh, god. Ew," Zed mumbled.

Axel continued without pause. "It's not that bad when you haven't eaten in almost a week. I've set up more traps in the galley to catch the rest. If Ivar plays his cards right, I might share my rats with him, but he's still a stuck-up twat.

I'm not sure how the rats are surviving. Maybe there's food still hidden somewhere on the ship. Maybe they're eating each other."

"This must have been when you were on your way back to America...Or... Whatever you want to call this half of the world now," Vee said.

"What do you mean?" Asked Axel.

"The Unity... The government... They abolished the borders, erased the country names and burned the history books. The states became part of the North-Western Hemisphere. Same with Canada and all that. No countries. No names."

Axel seemed to accept his brother's explanation that nothing would ever be as before. The commune in which he now resided was the only tangible place left in existence. Outside the walls lay sites changed from war, stripped of home and heritage. A tightness in Axel's neck prevented him from speaking until the revelations grew too heavy for him to bear.

"What happened to everyone else?" Axel asked.

"It's hard to say," Vee whispered, then cleared his throat. "A lot of people died."

"How many?"

"Billions," Zed said.

"You mean... We're the only ones left?"

"No, we're not. There are other survivors out there, people who were meant to live through the storms."

"Storms?"

Vee sighed, the farfetched nature of their fates exhausting him before he began. "The Unity developed a way to return the planet back to its natural state. No more electronic communication, no more broadcasts or satellites or TV. After the extinctions reached an all-time high, they introduced these plants that could suck the pollution from the air quickly. They grow extremely fast and are lethal to anyone who wasn't vaccinated against the spores. One plant can release a spore cloud big enough to cover half a football field, and they breed and multiply like vermin. Even a small cluster can kill a stadium of unimmunized people in a few minutes."

"But why would they do this? Have I been vaccinated?"

Axel's questions ripped holes in Vee’s composure. Zed's stomach churned and flipped as the scientist fished for the least aggressive explanation. A gloss came over his eyes, and he avoided his brother's bewildered stare.

"No, Axe. You're not."

"Oh... Are you?" Axel whispered.

"Yeah, I am. So is Lea."

"Why? Why didn't I get vaccinated?"

"You were lost at sea with your platoon for weeks, and before that, you were overseas. They didn't immunize the troops."

"Are you telling me the government wants us all to die?"

"Most of this is widely debated. There are some theories that the Unity had a strategy in mind."

Zed lent the scientist a hand and cut the heavy topic with a smile. "Axel, you're much more special than you know. Those people out there all adore you because of what you've done for Kinderfeld. You were the only one brave enough to go out when they needed supplies. People know your name not only here but out in the world. I've seen you fight and shoot. You're a natural."

"Well, yeah. I've been shooting guns since I was a kid."

"You were a special ops sniper. More than just a good shot."

Axel warmed to the compliment. "And what about you? Are you the mercenary of my dreams?"

Zed blushed and failed to hide her pride. "Not a mercenary... But I've murked a few Scavs in my day."

"Man... I like you," Axel tittered. "Ain't she great, Vee? What a prize."

For the few seconds of silence that passed, Vee's expression darkened. He recognized the reverence pulling Axel's features, the heartfelt way Lea relaxed when they spoke. Even in the absence of memory, Axel and Zed forged a bond too strong to pry apart. He would never wish ill upon his brother, but he mourned the days past with the woman whose eyes shone like vats of golden syrup passing under the morning light. At the risk of sharing a likeness with Ivar, the king who could never quite capture the woman's love, Vee thought of what life might have been like had Axel never returned. Would Zed love him? Could she? Had he ever toed the waters of her unspoken affection? Vee cursed his stupidity the night he told her how he felt and quickly dismantled his chances before she had the opportunity to consider him more than a close friend.

As Zed stared at Axel upright in his bed with his journals splayed out around him, Vee knew it was too late to rescind his platonic claim. A victim of his own sabotage, the scientist turned from them and pushed out every last ounce of breath to make room for another stale intake.

"I think it's time I showed Axel the Crimson Yawn."

Zed nodded and left the brothers, sensing a gloomy air rising between them. Vee was much better at explaining the inexplicable. He delivered news with a needed bluntness, one Zed had never mastered. Once she left the lab searching for distractions, Vee helped his brother box up the journals and offered his elbow to guide Axel back on his feet. Amid the bleak news, Axel had almost forgotten the pain in his extremities.

They waddled to the locked chambers where the bulk of Vee's scientific discoveries came to light. Axel squinted against the bright white walls and polished floor as he followed his brother through a series of doors leading to a clear dome similar to the greenhouses he'd found, only this hollow contained a twisted swarm of redheaded plants, mouths bloody and agape. Each one stood over seven feet tall and lifted its black-spotted maw to the sky in a silent scream. Axel turned from them.

"I've seen these before, but never this many. In my dreams, there's always one growing in a container."

"You recognize them?"

"And you say these things can kill me? How is it possible?" Axel asked.

"They're a sophisticated hybrid plant. They release spores like mushrooms, and those spores become airborne. If you breathe them in, they attack your blood, soaking up the nutrients and essentially turning it into a highly acidic jelly. You burn from the inside out. Well...Dissolve is a better word."

"And you've brought me here why!?" Axel shouted, dodging backward and planting too much weight on his bad ankle.

"Don't worry! They can't hurt you from in here. The filtration system's design protects everything inside."

"I still have a hard time believing all this. You know how crazy it sounds, right?"

Vee clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Oh, I realize. Why do you think it took me so long to break the news? You try finding a delicate way to explain this to someone who just came out of a coma."

Axel became transfixed on the plants again after Vee's assurance. He shuffled to the glass and studied the roaring heads, each one slightly different than its neighbour. They resembled demons, bizarre red monsters with thick necks and broad leaves of wax. Their spiked roots toiled in the ground, gnarled and tangled in a hellish orgy above and beneath the soil. Beyond the ranks, Axel saw the roiling jungle and all its hues of green and black. The sun broke through parts in the towering trees. How he longed to feel the wind on his burnt skin and walk among the flora. Axel observed the plants for a few minutes as Vee stepped back and allowed him time to digest.

"Am I in a nightmare?" Axel met his brother's eyes and did not blink.

"Some might say that. And I'm sorry. I've dedicated my life to making things better for the survivors, but there's nothing left I can do. All we have now is the village and each other."

"And mom and dad?"

"They're gone, Axe. They've been gone a while."

The tattooed man swallowed bitterly and nodded as a wall of tears blinded him. Vee touched his brother's shoulder and shared his pain through the comforting gesture. Axel crossed his chest with his good hand and patted Vee's fingers.

"Do you mind if I spend some time alone? This is... It's just a lot."

"Of course. Take all the time you need, Axe. I'll leave the doors unlocked. You good to walk?"

Axel's voice floated below a whisper. "I’ll manage."

~*~

In the apartment, Zed held her arms out before her and swung them in half-circles, stretching her muscles in preparation for another stiff night spent on the sofa. Vee came in after dinner and found Zed flinging her limbs outward.

"Nightly aerobics?" He asked with a touch of humour, the most he could muster after a day of harsh truths.

"Just stretching out before bed. My back's been killing me."

"Oh," Vee's green eyes popped open wide. "Don't sleep on the couch, Lea. You can take the bed tonight."

"Nah, it's okay."

"No, really. I insist. You deserve a night without hanging off the edge of the cushions."

"Then where will you sleep?" She asked.

"The couch."

Zed laughed at the idea. "You're far too tall to fit comfortably."

"I've passed out there dozens of times. Don't worry about me, really. Take the bed."

"Why're you being so nice, huh?" Zed snorted.

"I've seen you in pain the last few days, and I feel bad. It's rude of me to have one of the biggest beds in this place when I don't do anything to deserve it."

"Oh, shush," Zed jested. "You've done more for this place than anyone."

"There's always the Chrysalis."

The good humour in the room vanished with Vee's maladroit suggestion. Zed shook her head and scoffed. "I'm not going to the Chrysalis. I want to stay here with you guys."

"Fine by me. You'll take the bed tonight then. Grab your blankets and go."

Zed and Vee swapped bedding and wished each other goodnight. Though she deemed herself undeserving of the luxury, when Zed crawled onto Vee's large bed and spread her limbs from corner to corner, her skin bristled with goosebumps. The scent of the sheets belonged to the man outside the room, sprawled on the sofa, long legs dangling over the arm—cotton and boyish musk, the redolence Zed had grown accustomed to except in this moment. Lying on the mattress reminded her of the hugs and closeness she'd received from Vee when Axel had fled.

She relived their days together in clips of happy memories and some not so joyful. Across the apartment, Vee recalled the same night playing in Zed's mind—their evening in the greenhouse when they'd held hands, so close together yet barred by the promises of friendship. Vee cursed himself repeatedly while Zed entertained the idea of getting together with the scientist.

Soon, Zed's thoughts slid over the night she'd spent with Ivar. If she concentrated, she could feel the fullness between her legs still. Ivar had made love to her the way couples did in films. He'd stroked her and kissed her skin, took her nipples gently between his lips and sucked until she giggled. What might have excited some left her shivering. Was one of the brothers more deserving of her love? Was she foolish to think herself so desirable her attention was a coveted badge of excellence?

What a prize!

Lea... I want you to tell me no, right now.

It's like you were made for me.

With her heart racing, Zed turned over in bed and clamped her eyes shut. Debating which of the three men in her life she wanted more made her stomach flip, yet she couldn't keep the lewd considerations from pouring into her head. In these fantasies, she replaced Ivar with Vee. Yes, he was smart and gentle and keen on her, but he'd told her not to let him cross the line, claimed he didn't want her that way despite his feelings. Vee's kind face took the place of Ivar's, coasting down her stomach, stamping her thighs with kisses from luscious lips. She squeezed her legs together and let the inevitable shift knock Vee from the picture to make room for his older brother.

The tattooed man with all his addictions and his looming depression positioned himself between her knees and grasped her ankles delicately. A murderer and womanizer leaned over her body, caging her with long limbs decorated with sparrows, weapons, chains and barbed wire.

We're meant to be together. I see you in my dreams every time I fall asleep.

Zed bit her lip when the phantom sensation invaded her. She knew not how Axel would moan or if he'd coo and sigh the way Ivar had when they had sex. She wanted very much to think Axel would treat her with respect and scorned the claims Trinity had made about his wild side. Then the obscene journal entries came to life, glowing, fanned by salacious visions. What if she didn't want to make love? What if she wanted to be taken hard and fast by a man who worshiped her? Guilt and arousal mixed in her chest and sat heavy, grinning evilly like a demon poised to possess her body.

Sleep wriggled through Zed's conjurations and pulled her under before she realized she was slipping into blackness. The cozy bed and Vee's sheets lulled her, and soon, she dreamed of ordinary things, forgetting her personal stash of pornographic thoughts. She slipped further as the moon made a lazy arc through the night sky until something touched her shoulder and jarred her from sleep with a sharp gasp.

Her scream ripped through the apartment, sending her waker toppling out of bed.

"Lea? Oh, fuck. Fuck!"

"Axel?"

In the dimness, neither of them saw each other but tasted each other's heavy breath. Soon the light snapped on, and Vee stood at the door, chest heaving.

"What the hell is going on?" Vee asked. "Axel? What're you doing?"

"Christ, I thought Zed was you. I just came to... Well, I couldn't sleep," Axel cringed. "Shit, my hand. Fuck, I landed like a sack of bricks."

Vee snickered, setting off a series of giggles. "You came to sleep in my bed?"

"I didn't mean to scare you, Lea."

"It's all right," said Zed. "Really. On any other night, it would have been Vee in here."

Axel pulled himself up by the elbows and sat on the edge of the bed, grimacing from the agony of his agitated wounds. "Sorry, guys. It's hard to sleep out there. People are watching me."

Zed scooted over and patted the part of the mattress warm from her body. "Come on. Lie down. I think we could all use a sleepover after the day we've had."

"You're not serious," Vee said with a scoff as his brother took up Zed's offer and laid down next to her.

Zed nodded with conviction. "Absolutely. You too, Valter. Turn off the light and get over here."

He rolled his eyes as he flipped the light switch. "This is hardly a three-person bed."

"Well, cuddle up, pal."

"Lea takes up a fraction of the bed, anyway," Axel pointed out.

"Is this not weird to you? Three adults sharing a bed?"

Zed moved to the center as Vee climbed into bed from the left. To her right, Axel had already sprawled and turned over to face her in the dark.

"It's no stranger than how half the people in this place sleep all piled on top of each other. Humans were meant to nest. In the wild, this is how we'd sleep."

"Yeah, but we're not in the wild," said Vee.

"Yes, we are, little brother. Have you seen it outside? We're literally in glass bubbles, in the middle of a rainforest. Now shut up, and go to sleep."

"You shut up."

"Guys?" Zed chimed.

"Yeah?" The brothers answered.

"I love you both.”

Robbed of their voices, Axel and Vee set aside their bickering to bask in the genial haze of Zed's words. Axel shifted an inch closer while Vee laid stiffly on his side, eyes wide in the dark. As though her claim was bathed in wine, they soaked in the meaning and slipped drunkenly into slumber.

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#axel cluney fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfiction #valter skarsgard fanfiction #ivar lothbrok fanfiction #bill skarsgard imagine #AU fanfiction

[marisandini-chu-blog]

BRUCE WAYNE NEEDS MORE FRIENDS!!!

Okay... IDEAAAAA!!!

So... I’ve been binging batman and batfam fics and posts because I would die for them (but who doesn’t?) and it suddenly occurred to me that our favorite emotionally constipated person Bruce Wayne... doesn’t have a lot of friend.

Specifically, he doesn’t have a lot of civilian friend.

The only person I know I’m aware he’s closely acquainted was Harvey Dent and... well... you guys know what happened.

So yeah it made me crave to give this walking trauma of a man for some friend that actually has common sense other than Alfred and would willingly interact seemingly among the Batfam.

Kiran Devabhaktuni is one example of a marvelous OC by audreycritter (@agent-skulldrey) that I wish was canon because good God that family needs more than doctor than just Leslie and puts up none of Batman’s shits and is like a brother to Bruce. Gosh dammit I can’t get enough of him! If you don’t know him, check out Cor Et Cerebrum. Beautiful fic.

But come on, can’t Bruce have more friends in his life that’s not in one part of his life!!! C’mon DC!!! Give us some good stuff!!!

Alas, as I lament about this unfortunate circumstances, I decided to make him a friend and share it with you guys.

I’m gonna be upfront and say the OC I had in mind is just a copy-paste of Erin Gruwell with a twist. If you don’t know, go watch, read, or simply google Freedom Writers because I cried the whole day because of them.10/10 totally recommend because good God, there’s nothing more inspiring than children in bad situation manage to reinvent themselves to be better than what society believes them to be.. Which makes me think... what if there’s a Gotham!FreedomWriters and my mind began to race of this idea. 

The OC basically has similar background with Erin Gruwell, from the good part of Gotham or Bristol, who only ever been outside looking in at the criminal-ridden city. Faced with kids with difficult home life, traumatized, practically homeless, believing they live a life of war because they need to be affiliated with a gang to survive. She then learned about the wrong preconception she has on these troubles kids and decided to help them by teaching them tolerance, compassion, and understanding through writing and assigning books they could empathize and IT WORKS!!!

How does Bruce Wayne comes into this? 

Well... in the book, it was told Erin work together with a millionaire who offered a lot of charity that helps and support these kids and Erin’s teaching plan. Such as giving them computers to write a book, funding a field trip that helps them meet the Holocaust survivors, even offering these kids work and scholarships once they graduate. Someone that some of the kids of the class admits that they see him as a father figure because the ones they had were shitty. 

See where am I going with this? 

If you say, more Robins, no! Absolutely not. Bruce isn’t adopting any of them. I’m aware Bruce has a problem but NO! 

So here’s how I imagine their meeting would be. 

OC works part-time in a hotel belong to Bruce because the school was being stingy in borrowing out books for the “Special” class that admits kids with records or from low-income family as part of a charity program or something. So OC has to work to buy her class new and relevant books that would interest her students.

There was a gala, she was a waitress, and for some reason or another she meets Bruce and they start talking. What did they talk about? I have no idea. This is still the concept phase guys. I don’t know everything from about my own brainchild.  

Now, I know that sounds like meet-cute first meeting, but I want to emphasize the fact I want them to be BEST FRIENDS!  It’s possible they might have a relationship in the distant future but if they were, it would be base on the fact they were best friends first and foremost! Which make their bond that strong. 

Not to mention that OC is an English teacher so imagine if Jason Todd-Wayne, English nerd Robin extraordinaire, be in her class among all the other kids from the worst part of Gotham. Jason would be the OC’s pet teacher and OC would be Jason’s favorite teacher ( but to be fair, in this scenario, she’s everyone’s fav teach). Jason love her so much ,he wanted to be an English Teacher that can help people like OC. And Jason would actually have civilians friends he could relate and rely on instead of being an outcast among other rich friends.  

So when parent-teacher conference was underway. All the other parents didn’t come because they’re either shitty or too busy earning money to live. Imagine Bruce being the only parent arriving to find the waitress from his hotel. And because Bruce is Batman and Batman is curious as the deepest depth of hell itself, he might be curious of why a teacher from one of the most well-paid school would overwork with a double job. Especially when Bruce-secretly-a-helicopter-parent-Wayne notice the body-tells OC made when she lied about the reason when asked. 

So of course he checks, this is his son’s teacher, he needs to know there’s nothing sinister going on. 

Which led to him finding out about the fresh books that wasn’t assigned by the school, which led to him supporting her endeavor without her overworking herself because apparently she has THREE jobs just to support her one job as a teacher. Which made Bruce thinks “WTF, and I thought I’m a workaholic.”

Anyway, when the two work together they shared a deep understanding of trying to make Gotham a better place. They’re both from the good part of Gotham or Bristol  who has limited understanding about living a life in actual Gotham, just knowing that it’s a bad place. Both want to better the place, Bruce through charities and OC through her teachings. Both saw there’s hope and second chances for people of Gotham and willing to fight for it in their own way without giving up. As well as their effort to help helpless children.  

Bruce later admired greatly and respect OC because Bruce has help people both as a Wayne and as Batman, but the same as her class, Bruce finds hope in her method that by teaching compassion and tolerance, people (especially children) can change to be a better persons and live a better life. That life in Gotham isn’t one way ticket to hopelessness because of where you’re born. Not only that, but for OC to persist being kind and compassiom despite reading and seeing the cruelty Gotham has to offer.

I imagine Bruce showed his Brucie Wayne persona at first, but grew more and more lax as time passed. They both love Jason so they would bond from talking about him and Bruce might actually have a friend he can ask advice in regards to parenting. With Bruce being "Urgh, kids, you know?" And she's like, "Oh please, tell me more of your one troubled kid with my 150 one."

OC also becomes comfortable to talk about her grief of her dead mother, the divorce she recently settled, and just hangs out with Bruce. The struggle to not be jaded by the things she reads her students had to suffer. Because OC isn't only kind by nature, but she's kind by choice.

Now, in Freedom Writers the class was assigned to write a diary everyday. Including Jason. Imagine if you will, when Jason died. OC gave Bruce Jason’s diary for his birthday, and stayed. Imagine Bruce having someone to share their grief with someone who understands other than Alfred. Imagine the Freedom Writers gave a tribute to Jason on their graduation because they love him and know he would have been valedictorian had he been alive and Bruce cried for the first time since he held Jason’s dead body. 

I have other ideas relating to OC but it’s more Jason’s perspective. Let me know if you want to read more of what I have in mind because I’ve word vomit enough. 

#batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #oc #freedom writers #erin gruwell #Gotham #word vomit #headcanon #fanfic #bruce wayne deserves more friend #he needs more friend!!! #so does Jason #batdad #batfam

[nkp1981]

Part 4 of a story with an angry cook named Joe and a quiet book nerd named Nicky

Part 3 can be read here: https://bit.ly/3jpcVrU

There were only two people in the world at the moment, who knew that Joe came from old money: himself and the lawyer Le Livre, Joe paid to do stuff, he didn’t bother to do himself like paying the bills. Joe had found Mr. Le Livre in Brussels years ago, when Joe heard a story about a lawyer, who had risked his reputation on defending an Egyptian boy, who was accused of assaulting a local man and won the trial but got fired for taking a case, because it wasn’t company policy. So, Joe had traveled to Brussels and found Le Livre in a pub half drunk, but had taken the time to listen to Joe between two pints, and asked Le Livre if he had meant what he had said in the article, that he wanted to work pro bono helping people. Le Livre then had told Joe that it was his plan but no one in Brussels would lend him the money for an office, so he was planning on moving away. Joe then asked Le Livre to meet him at an address tomorrow sober. At first Le Livre didn’t want to show up, because he didn’t know what to think about Joe, but in the end if Joe needed a lawyer it could be his last case, before leaving Brussels for good. In the morning, Le Livre showed up at the address and found Joe on the top floor. “Do you see Le Livre, I need a lawyer to help me with my inheritance, who doesn’t ask to many questions about what I uses my money for, so If I pay every expenses for you, you can establish your own law firm as long you keep to these conditions: you keep on helping people pro bono no matter where in the world and that you stay away from the bottle. You can have a drink to celebrate a victory but no more than that, but if I ever hear that you got drunk at work or private I’ll fire you without blinking and your law firm will go to another person, who can live up to the conditions.” Joe said in a tone that made Le Livre sign the contract, because he liked that Joe was all business. That was four years ago, and Le Livre was now leading one of the world’s best human rights law firms. After Le Livre had gotten over the shock that Joe asked him to send 50.000 dollars, which was more money than Joe had used in the time, they had known each other, Joe asked him to pay the hospital bills for Nicky and handle some shopping for him before 5pm.

When Joe reached the dinner, his boss shook her head. “Wow on time for once.” Nile joked as Joe came into the kitchen. “Only because I need to get off two hours before.” Joe replied in the hope that Nile was in a good mood. “You do know that Friday is our most busy day, right?” Nile asked and looked at Joe, who somehow seemed a changed man to her. “Fine, but only if you can convince Frank to get in earlier, because Susie is gonna need help.” Nile said and left the kitchen, while Joe called Frank, who after some persuasion agreed on taking those 500 dollars Joe offered.

When Joe came home, he was thankful that Le Livre worked fast as always, when he saw all the bags with things, he had ordered. Joe then went into the library to give it a quick cleaning, before he took the duvet and pillow, which he laid on the sofa, so Nicky could use it as a bed. Then Joe looked in the different bags cursing, that he had forgotten the clothes, so he took a look in his closet, where there was only one clean shirt left, but then he remembered that he had some boxes with clothes in another room. After some searching Joe found a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a warm sweater and after taking a sniff at it to make sure it didn’t smell moldy, he put in his backpack together with a pair of boots. The last thing Joe did before leaving the apartment was to get all of his drawings out of the way, so Nicky wouldn’t think that he was one of those creepy stalkers.

At the hospital Nicky had spent most of the evening thinking about how to get to the bathroom, but because his ribs still were hurting like hell every time he moved, he knew, he had to make it to the bathroom with less than four steps. It was easy enough to get to the bathroom, but when he wanted to get back to the bed, he got hit by the pain and because his balance still was off a bit, he prepared himself mentally, that he would hit the floor face first, but someone caught him. “We can’t keep on meeting like this.” Joe joked and helped Nicky over to the bed. “Don’t worry, I’m not planning on making it into a habit.” Nicky replied surprised over, that Joe actually had kept his promise and came back, and he let Joe help him over to the bed, where Joe placed the blanket over him, before he sat down on the chair, that Nicky had insisted on not to be moved. “Did you get fired?” Nicky asked in the hope to keep the conversation going. “I’m never gonna be my boss’ favorite, but she tolerates me, because I won't give away the recipe of my Tunisian eggs, which is the most favorite dish on the menu card.” Joe replied, while taking off his jacket. “So, it is kinda a Mexican standoff between you two?” Nicky asked, which made Joe smile, because he had never thought of it like that. “Yeah, you can call it that.” Joe replied and took Nicky’s hand again, which made them both smile like shy teenagers. “So, what did the Doctor say?” Joe wanted to know, and Nicky took a minute before answering, because he wasn’t used to someone taking an interest in him beside Andy and he wanted to enjoy the feelings it gave, when Joe held his hand.. “That I might need an operation for my heart, but the Doctor says, that he will know more in three months’ time.” Nicky explained and looked down at the blanket, because he was sure that Joe would run away over that information, but instead Joe placed a finger under his chin, so they could look at each other. “We will cross that bridge at that time. Together.” Joe replied in the same trusting tone, that somehow gave Nicky some hope for the future for the first time ever. “Oh no!” Nicky said, when he saw Andy with the Glucometer. “Stop it.” Andy said and gave Nicky a gentle slap on the head. “Good you’re here, Yusuf. I show you how it works, what you need to look for and what to do, when needed. I don’t care if you sit on him, when you’re measuring his glucose, but it has to be done until he starts to do it by himself.” Andy said in a commanding tone and looked at Joe, who was hoping that he didn’t have to sit on Nicky, while doing it. Reluctant Nicky lent a finger to Andy and it took only three tries, before Joe understood it and took all the papers, Andy handed Joe about food and correct care for a person with diabetes and heart problems. “I’ll check in on you before you leave tomorrow.” Andy said as the last thing, before she left them alone. “I think she means it well.” Joe said and looked at Nicky, who was suckling on his sore finger. “I know, but her way of showing it at times is a bit harsh.” Nicky replied and looked at Joe in the hope that he would not be like that. “Anyway, are you hungry?” Joe asked and opened his backpack. “Only if it’s better than the dinner I had. I still doubt that beans were beans.” Nicky replied and looked at Joe and opened the bag with figs. “What’s that?” Nicky asked intrigued over the fruit, he hadn’t seen before and took one to take a closer look at it. “Don’t bite in it yet.” Joe said and took the fig from Nicky’s hand and sliced it into half before adding some honey on it. “This is one of the best things I've ever tasted.” Nicky said with a big smile, when he had eaten the first one, and Joe gave him a second, while they both felt a feeling, they had never had before flushing in over them, that this was probably one of their happiest moments in their life. They talked a bit until Nicky fell asleep, and Joe ran once again a couple of fingers through Nicky’s hair, before he took Nicky’s hand and started to read the papers Andy had given him.

In the morning Nicky woke to see Joe sleeping still holding on to his hand, but he didn’t pull it away. Instead he looked out of the window on the rain, but when a thunderclap could be heard, Joe woke. “Morning.” Nicky said and sat up, while Joe ruffled his curls. “Morning. I have to admit, there are days, where I miss the warm steady weather, you find in Tunis.” Joe replied and looked out of the window. “Well, I have only been to Genova, where I was born and now, New York, when I got the scholarship, but one day, I want to see the world. I even got a list over the five places ready I plan to see.” Nicky said and for the first time without any protesting, he let someone check his bloodsucker. “Want some company on that trip?” Joe wanted to know and checked the numbers from the Glucometer. “We barely know each other, besides that you got a temper and habit of stalking me, and then there is me, who is sick, and now you want to go traveling with me?” Nicky asked surprised. “Where I’m from, people have gotten married with less information about each other, and still I’m sorry that I stalked you.” Joe replied and looked sorry at Nicky. “It was my luck in the end, but could we agree that it is something you will never do again?” Nicky asked and Joe nodded. “What do you say, we make a deal? When you’re feeling better, you show me Genova and I you Tunis. And if that goes well, we go seeing those five places you want to visit.” Joe offered and took Nicky’s hand again. “Sounds like a plan.” Nicky replied and they talked a bit until the Doctor came. While the Doctor checked Nicky over, Joe found Andy. “Listen, could I ask you to come by and check on Nicky? I promise to pay you for the time.” Joe asked in the hope she would say yes, so he shouldn’t spend the time on searching for a nurse. “Sure, I’ll check in once a day. Now, get out of here and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Andy replied as the Doctor came out of the room.

“I hope this fits until we find something else.” Joe said, when he handed Nicky the clothes. “Call, when you’re ready.” Joe added and left Nicky to get dressed. When Nicky got the pants on, he was surprised that they fitted him, because he had always had troubles with finding pants, but most of all he was happy about the sweater even though it was a bit too big. “Joe?” Nicky shouted and gave Joe a smile of gratitude for the clothes. “Thanks for the clothes, but I need some help with the boots.” Nicky said and Joe kneeled, so he could help Nicky. “Do they fit?” Joe wanted to know. “They do and I don’t think I got the money to pay for them.” Nicky admitted. “Don’t think about it. You are still talking with the angry cook and your stalker is paying enough. Ready?” Joe asked and Nicky nodded.

“There is something, I haven’t told you, Nicky.” Joe said, when they stood outside the apartment. “Please don’t tell me, that you also are a murder.” Nicky joked, which made Joe smile. “No, but I promise you to explain everything once you have settled in.” Joe promised and opened the front door, where Nicky got a shock over, how big the apartment was. “If you think this is impressive, then you are in for a surprise.” Joe said dried and led the way to the library, where he finally saw the look return in Nicky’s eyes, that Joe loved so much, when Nicky saw all the books. “As promised, more books than you have probably seen in your entire life. There are also books in some boxes in the room over there.” Joe said and pointed at a room behind Nicky, who nodded, before he went over to the first bookshelf and started to run a finger over the books. “This is absolutely fantastic. I don’t know what to say.” Nicky replied with more joy in his voice than ever. “I let you settle in, while I make something for us to eat.” Joe said, but Nicky didn’t hear the last part, because he was already picking out books to read, before he sat down on the sofa with the first ten books.

When Joe came in an hour later with a cart box, he found Nicky sleeping on the sofa with a stack of books next to him. He had never thought the sight of a sleeping book nerd would bring such joy in his life. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” Joe said, when Nicky looked at him with a sleeping look in his eyes. “It’s ok. This is actually a good sofa.” Nicky replied and sat up, while Joe placed the cart box next to the sofa. “Sorry, I don’t have a table, so this has to suffice until I find something better. Hope you’re hungry.” Joe said and looked sorry over, that he hadn’t thought about buying a table, before he left the room to get the food. “Your Tunisian eggs?” Nicky asked, when Joe handed him the plate. “Yeah and between us, there isn’t much Tunisian over them. I just call them that to make them sound more exotic, than they’re since the secret ingredient actually is turkey bacon, so please don’t tell my boss that.” Joe said in a begging tone and watched as Nicky started to eat. “I won’t, because we all have the rights to our secrets.” Nicky replied and they ate, while Nicky tried his best to guess what kind of ingredients Joe had used  in the eggs.

“So, the apartment?” Nicky asked, when they had eaten and leaned back on the sofa, and it took Joe a moment, before he gave Nicky an answer. “I come from what you call old money, which means my ancestors have spent the last five generations earning more money than the last one by build, buying and developing properties. Sometimes in a legal way and other times not so legal. My parents never loved each other or me, because all they saw in me was the sixth generation, so they sent me off to a boarding school in England, when I was seven and in thirteen years, I only saw my parents twice. I guess, that’s where I started acting out by shouting at the quietest person in the room, who was minding his own business, and it’s something, I’m not proud of, Nicky, because you were the first one, who actually made me realize, that what I’ve done in the past isn’t ok at all.” Joe explained and looked at Nicky with an expression, that he still was so sorry for what he had done in the diner. “My parents died in a car accident, when I was twenty leaving me with properties all over the world, and I’ve sold most of them except two: one in Brussel and then this apartment, which my parents never liked, because the windows were wrong.” Joe added and looked at one of the windows. “What’s wrong with them?” Nicky wanted to know. “Don’t ask me. Rich people are often eccentric people.” Joe replied and shook his head. “So are you in a way. Rich boy working as a cook.” Nicky said. “You’re right, and it was actually something, that was meant to be a temporary thing, while I figured out what to do next, which I still haven’t to be honest.” Joe admitted and stood up to clear the table. When Joe returned, he handed Nicky a bottle of water, before sitting down on the floor again. “Guess it’s my turn but my story isn’t as exciting as yours, Joe, since I’m the kid from the orphanage, who no one would adopt, because of my heart. I guess that’s why, I always had my head in a book, so I could imagine for a time to be a part of something.” Nicky said and looked at the stack of books. “Where does Andy fit in?” Joe wanted to know. “I met her when I was sixteen, when she was working as a nurse at the local hospital in Genova. She was the one, who discovered that I had diabetes and yelled at the monks for not taking it seriously, because they thought I was being dramatic. It cost her the job, and when I got to New York a couple of years later, I found her, and she has been my irritated big sister ever since.” Nicky replied and showed Joe a photo of him and Andy, where she was ruffling Nicky’s hair. “That’s explain, why you don’t listen to her.” Joe said and handed the photo back. “I do, but as you know, things haven’t been great the last couple of months, and I think, I might have pushed her away, when all she wanted was to help me like always. Like you I also have a lot of excuses to do.” Nicky admitted and looked at the photo, before he put it back in his book. “I think we'll never be finished with that.” Joe replied and stood up. “Better get some sleep, Nicky, so you can say sorry to Andy tomorrow, when she checks in on you.” Joe added and ran a couple of fingers through Nicky’s hair again. “You have already done so much for me, Joe, but can you not stay here? This library is big enough for both of us.” Nicky asked, and Joe nodded, before he got the mattress, he normally slept on, while Nicky removed the cart box, so Joe could place the mattress next to the sofa. As the darkness crept into the library, their hands found each other and they fell asleep holding on to each other, 

 my creation

#yusuf al-kaysani #joe #marwan kenzari #luca marinelli #nicolo di genova #nicky #yusuf x nicolo #the old guard #joe x nicky

[sidhewrites]

The Prince in the Wood, Part 5

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five. Part Six.

Approx. 1450 words.

Content warning for a mentions of hospitalization, medical tests, blood pressure, and one mention of of underage drinking.

So I kept it to myself. Chalked the bruises up to an uncomfortable sleeping position, and the scratch something that I must have done by accident in my sleep. Of course, I wasn’t one to stir -- hardly ever had to make the bed, I moved so little -- but it was easier simply to ignore it. After all, it never happened again. I always made it to my own bed before I fell asleep, and Mary stayed up late with a little flashlight, reading or drawing or doing whatever it was she busied herself with long after I’d fallen asleep.

And life continued. Frail, fragile Mary remained home more and more, now a regular at the doctor’s office for all the tests they were trying to run. The doctors never found anything beyond the usual -- anemia and insomnia and, occasionally, low blood pressure -- but they kept an eye out all the same.

My remaining teenage years resembled something almost normal. I got a girlfriend, then broke up with her the week before prom. I went out to parties where some of the kids drank alcohol. And I applied to colleges, both local and prestigious, just to see where I could get accepted. Mary applied as well, but we all knew she’d be going to the nearby community college to stay close to home. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t make it into anything more noteworthy than a state school that offered generous scholarships to local residents, but it was still a good few hours’ drive away -- further than I’d ever gone from home without my family, and our trips had never lasted longer than a weekend.

The idea of so much change terrified me as much as it drew me in. I loved my family, but my life had always revolved so closely around them, and a part of me was desperate to see the sort of person I would be if it was just me. No crazy sister who’d run out into the woods and spoke weird languages into thin air, no fathers obsessed with security and locking us up like prisoners. As normal as our life had become, the shadow of the past still hung over us in a way I could never truly escape without leaving home.

Mary thought it would be a great idea. We were studying one afternoon, going over guides and notes for an upcoming exam when I presented the idea to her, and she smiled at me instantly.

“You could do anything you wanted,” she said, eyes bright in a rare moment of energy. “Join a rock band. Write a movie. Become one of those goth girls that old people are scared of.” 

I laughed. “Some old people are already scared of me.” I put on my best smirk a la Norman Bates, and said, “Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?’

Mary laughed as well, and threw an eraser at me, which I promptly put in my pocket.

“Mine, now,” I said.

“Hey, wait, I need that.”

“Too bad. It’s coming to college with me, now.”

We both laughed then, arguing over erasers and supplies and forgetting to compare our notes. 

The day after the exam, however, Mary had another episode. She woke up paler than ever, dark circles under her eyes, and we had to rush her to the hospital. Alarmingly low blood pressure, with another bite, this time on her wrist. It looked like it had healed up overnight, nothing more than two faint scars on her skin, but there was nothing else that seemed connected to it.

I sat with her while our dads spoke with the doctor in the hall, reading opinion columns out of yesterday’s newspaper out loud. The IV beside her bed dripped slowly, replacing the blood that had been lost seemingly overnight, and she frowned up at the ceiling, only half aware of the world around her.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up to see Mary’s hand reaching out to mine. I took it and gave a gentle squeeze, hoping it would ground her in reality at least a little bit. “I’m here,” I said.

“Promise not to forget me?” She spoke so quietly, I almost missed it.

“What?”

“When you go away and have an exciting life on your own. Will you remember me?”

I didn’t understand. She spoke as if my future had already been decided, as if she knew what I would choose when I barely knew myself. “Don’t say that. You’re my sister. How could I leave you behind?”

She just smiled sadly at me, and then looked up at the ceiling again, eyes misting over like they had so often before. Nothing else I said would reach her, and I gave up before even thinking of trying again.

But she was right, in the end. I accepted a place at the state university, and by the end of that summer, half of our bedroom was packed up in suitcases and loaded into a borrowed SUV. We made it a family trip, spending a few days in the city just exploring before I moved into the dormitory officially. It was a tearful week, though the city life seemed to do Mary some good. She filled out some, a bit of color coming to her pale face as we explored and sought out hole-in-the-wall shops and restaurants. 

I slept fitfully while we were there, nothing like the deep sleep I was used to, but I wrote it off as nerves. Everything was changing all at once, after all, and I hadn’t a thought to spare for anything else.

My roommate, Shannon, was a girl from out of state who was here on both swimming and academic scholarships, and she terrified me at first -- at least until she put up video game and movie posters on her side of the wall. She introduced me to all her favorite pieces of media, as well as the best places and tips on how to study without burning yourself out. We became fast friends, and I found myself more than a little excited, even when the day finally came to say goodbye to my family.

I hugged them all tightly as I could -- even Mary, fragile as she was -- and swore to write as soon as the week was up to let them know how things were going.

“Remember your promise,” Mary said through tears, her little hand gripping mine.

“I’m not gonna forget you.” I’d lost count of how many times I had said it over the past few months, but I still said it again. “I promise. I’ll write and call, and I’ll be back home before you know it.” 

She nodded, dubious, and hugged me again, before shuffling into the car and letting Pop start the long ride home.

I did write them, by the way. I remembered at the end of the week, and every other week after that for the first month or so. But school was -- busy. Occupying. I joined a club, I went to parties, and Shannon always had something to do. My letters and phone calls home became less frequent, and I thought about my family less and less. My sleeping patterns never improved, but Shannon introduced me to the world of coffee, and we spent plenty of countless nights awake, playing the latest games until dawn. 

I was living a life free of my old worries and nightmares, even going so far as to spend one weekend in the nearby woods with a few friends, close enough to a campground to be legal, but far enough from civilization that we could almost forget the world beyond.

Someone had brought an electric lantern that could flicker like a dim campfire, and we sat in a circle around it, daring each other to come up with the best ghost story. Everyone came up with the cliche scary stuff -- skinwalkers, deranged murderers, and the ghosts of their victims.

And then it was my turn. Everyone looked at me, and I froze.

I’ve never been that creative. I couldn’t come up with imaginary monsters that hunted us down or things that had once been human. That had always been Mary’s gift, not mine.

Mary.

Her name struck me oddly, and guilt began to press down on my chest. How long had it been since I’d given my sister any thought? There was so much else in my life that I could barely stop to think about anything beyond the university’s campus, much less my sister, convalescing in a bedroom hundreds of miles away.

Someone said my name, and I looked up, suddenly brought back to the present. 

“It’s your turn,” they said.

I nodded. I had an idea.

“These woods are alive, you know, and they have a prince. When the leaves rustle, it means they’re going to invite us to visit him for tea.”

#writeblr #horror fiction #short horror fiction #short story #original fiction #lgbtq fiction #theres like no horror in this part or like any real mentions of it but. gotta contrast the normalcy to the big climax right? #writing #mystuff

[vocaotome]

Interactive Queer Fantasy Novel Review - Moonrise

A couple months ago I was invited to try out Moonrise, a text based urban fantasy interactive novel by Natalie Cannon. Although I usually stick to visual novels, since I had played and enjoyed other choice of games before, I decided to give Moonrise a try and write a review for it.

While the game had an interesting premise with smooth, enjoyable prose and witty modern humor, my overall experience has been a rather mixed bag, probably because I don’t appear to fall into the specific audience for the game. I’ll give a vague outline of the plot and share my impressions while trying to not give too much away. In order to prevent constantly switching between “the player”/“you”/“us” etc, when referring to the character we are playing I’m going to use “Heather” (a name from the list of choices available, you can also type in whatever you wish) and “she”.

Full review under the cut, or on wordpress if you prefer it instead.

Gameplay

The basic gameplay of Moonrise is the same as most games on the choice of games platform, all text with no graphics and only stat based choices. The game offers the option to choose between she/her and they/them pronouns at the very start, but as per the basic game premise (supernatural celebration of queer femininity), player cannot identify as male in this game so no he/his pronouns. Choosing between cis/trans/other/not saying is also available, though I felt that there was an assumption that the player is not cis or at least is someone who is pretty invested in using specific pronouns (early game it's mentioned that "you" talked to Alice about your pronouns).

While the game description claims that the main character may be asexual and there are dialogue choices which allow you to refuse romantic advances saying you are asexual, I felt that the narration didn’t really reflect that since there were many parts in the common scenes (regardless of route or picked choices) where you express strong attraction towards beautiful women. The 3 love interests were pretty likable and varied in their backstories and personality, although I wish all of them got equal amount of screentime (your roommate inevitably gets more scenes than the otherworldly goddess you meet in the last chapter). You can date just a single person or multiple people at once.

The players also get to choose between being “Fierce” (20% initial boost to Bloodthirst, Uncanny, Defense attributes) or “Civilized” (20% boost to Empathy, Responsibility, Snark attributes). The choices throughout the game either raise these attributes further or improve your relationship with the love interests.

For those who are concerned about homophobia, Moonrise very briefly mentions the existence of homophobic people but for the most part all the characters treat LGBTQA+ people as very normal (example: Heather finds Alice's puppy love for a girl in her class very cute), so no need to worry on that account.

 Plot

The pace of the game is pretty fast right from the start, we begin with “Heather” directly being thrown into a situation where the player has just transformed into a wolf. Another werewolf called “Alice” soon finds us while Heather is confusedly struggling between canine instincts and human reason. I really liked the part where "you" still are convinced that you are a 100% pure wolf and are completely operating under that impression, lol. All the wolf related terms also are rather endearing, time to refer to all my close friends as my packmates <3

At first I was a little bit wary of Alice, who is revealed (within 5 minutes of playing) to be the one to have turned Heather into a werewolf, but she grew on me very quickly, especially with her youthful admiration of Heather and the open vulnerability she shows to us. I’m also grateful to her for helping Heather turn back human, the idea of getting stuck as a wolf forever (which Alice mentioned happening to some people) sounded pretty disturbing. (I did giggle at how Heather was like “bleh, wolves have it better, no student loans”)

Alice returns together with Heather to Heather’s home which she shares with her best friend and roommate Rosario, the first LI we run into. I liked Rosario’s character and sense of humor a lot (random: I bust a lung laughing when the narration mentioned them lightly smelling of weed), though I wish the narration used less jargon when explaining Rosario’s lifestyle as an adventurous and dynamic queer person (this issue popped up a couple of times later in the game too, though not frequently enough to be a deal breaker). The below paragraph made me stare for a solid minute before I managed to comprehend everything.

Rosario is super relieved to see Heather safe and quickly warms up to Alice, and in order to develop a relationship with Rosario (also if you’re interested in building up your empathy stat, very useful for diplomatic options) we must be friendly towards Alice and let her stay in our home. To be honest it's hard to be an asshole to Alice, she’s a cutie. I liked it when Alice was described during this scene to have corkscrew hair and dark skin, yay for varied designs!

Anyway, around this time we learn that Heather is a doctor-in-training working for their residency. I laughed at the part where after picking a choice, the prose apologized to me for doubting that I'd call work to inform my circumstances.This is the point where the free part ends.

Regardless of whether we go to our job, meet our coworkers and interact with patients, or go all SCREW U to your job and hang around in a park (irresponsible, imo, you’ve been missing for a day because of this whole wolf business), you run into the second LI, Chika, a seemingly cold and quiet young doctor who works in the same place as Heather and is actually also a werewolf.

She also seems to have harbored a strong crush on Heather for quite a while, even during routes where I've acted very distant towards her so far she pretty much immediately confesses and we get the option to kiss her. Personally I prefer more buildup in romantic relationships in my stories, but I guess this isn’t surprising considering that we have already spent about 2 chapters on the prologue and this is a short game consisting of only 8 chapters.

The next few chapters are a mix of slice of life situations where Alice, Rosario and Heather blossom into a pretty cute makeshift family, with optional scenes of bonding in wolf form with Alice. Alice also gives us a lot of information about the vampire and werewolf lore of this world, and informs Heather about the 2 opposing factions of the supernatural society: the masquerade, who prefer to keep the human and supernatural worlds separate and operate as an organization under strict rules of secrecy, and the rogues, who prefer a wild and free approach in life and wish to go public about the existence of supernatural creatures.

Not gonna lie, the masquerade sounds amazing on paper, being their part apparently means getting your university tuition paid and guaranteed jobs after graduation, that sounds like a dream lol. However they are a bit to stuck up for Alice’s tastes, especially because of her foster parent who is someone high up in the Masquerade and pretty unpleasant. Rogues sound rather bad at this point since Alice mentions being “hunted” early game and they are supposed to be the ones “after” her.

In Chapter 6 we run into Cassandra, a vampire and the foster parent mentioned above, who pretty much kidnaps us to her place. Over the course of a very tense and threatening conversation, she gives us plenty of reasons to NOT consider signing up for the masquerade, though I think that was the opposite of her intention. The game's description of Cassandra's attitude towards young people like they were "particularly ugly vase that begs to be shattered" sounds so accurate to how some old people act lol. We have to escape Cassandra by choosing either diplomacy or violence, and choosing the wrong option that you don’t have enough attributes for can get you killed.

(Random: Cassandra being portrayed positively in some future scenes after claiming to eat her servants is unnerving. I hope that was a joke ;;;;)

If chapter 6 was the one familiarizing us with the masquerade, chapter 7 is the equivalent part for rogues. We meet up with Chika who is relieved to see Heather safe (even out of her route she acts way too familiar when it comes to physical distance with Heather, her cold queen settings vanish when it involves the person she likes, lol), and reveals herself as the leader of the rogues. We get a bunch of information about the rogues’ motivations and plans, and the misunderstanding that they want to harm Alice is cleared up.  (It’s also possible to get some more explanation earlier in the game if you acted all wolf-y right from the start and went on a solo wandering trip which Chika joins)

After the conversation Chika springs a sudden offer for a date on Heather, which made me giggle during the walkthroughs where I rejected her hard. It was extra funny because we had been talking about serious stuff™ right until that point. It is possible to go on a date with her and have a sexual encounter afterwards. All dates in this game can end in sex, but it is optional.

There is a scene with Rosario where we hang out and have some heart-to-heart talk soon after the encounter with Chika, and this can end up being a date depending on our choices, regardless of whether we are already dating Chika or not. I think there is a malfunctioning romance flag here because Rosario talks as if I’m dating Chika even if I have refrained from ALL romantic choices with Chika.

At the start of chapter 8 we are forced to choose between the masquerade and the rogues, though considering the way the representatives from these groups (Cassandra and Chika) have treated us until this point, choosing the masquerade seems like madness.

~~~~~~~

If we choose the Masquerade, Alice and Heather visit Cassandra again to join the society. We meet people other than Cassandra who thankfully are pleasant enough, and suddenly a masquerade member came to seek Cassandra’s help and we ended up being asked to help perform some ritual to teleport somewhere and rescue/steal Dracula's brides??? What? I was very confused during this part because the story flow suddenly became very fast and I was having difficulty keeping up.

During this mission there is a possible dead end (ironic, the people who we went to rescue end up accidentally killing Heather), but as long as things go smoothly, we encounter Ishara, the last LI who a special werewolf from some other far away place (planet? dimension?) and treated like a goddess by the supernatural community because of her special powers and JAW DROPPING BEAUTY. She likes the way Heather treats her casually unlike everyone else, and there is another sudden date offer.

After the rescuing of Dracula brides, we get a slice of life-ish scene with them, Cassandra, Ishara and Rosario in a coffee shop. This is where we finally get some backstory on Cassandra and learn about some of her positive points, being a lesbian Robin Hood of sorts isn’t something I expected from her XD

Although I don’t think it’s possible to keep your relationship with Chika intact in this path, you can talk with your other 2 love interests about the nature of your relationship (open/closed, romantic/queerplatonic). There was one playthrough when I somehow found Ishara sitting on Heather’s lap and kissing Rosario, wild.

Before the final fight, there is a brief scene where Chika meets up with Heather and is quite heartbroken over her choosing the masquerade. Soon after that the day comes where we face off against the Rogues who have decided on a kill or get killed approach.

~~~~~~~~

If we choose the Rogues instead, there is no falling out with Chika (she’s ecstatic to have Heather join them) and we visit the Rogues’ hangout instead. After some socialization we embark on a journey to find Alice’s biological dad who is a powerful but loner werewolf and a possible valuable ally for our fight against the masquerade. This course of option made a lot more sense to me than the Dracula bride thing in the masquerade route.

We manage to locate the man and he joins our cause (I laughed at Alice and his naked reunion, the side effect of transforming between wolf and human forms), not only because he’s annoyed by the masquerade’s way of doing things but also because he suspects them being involved in the death of Alice’s mother and Alice becoming a werewolf (werewolf genes aren’t hereditary). In the Masquerade route Cassandra claims to not have done it, so I’m curious what exactly happened.

We also run into Ishara while on this mission (I’m curious how she is here instead of wherever she was during the other route, how exactly did the butterfly effect work?), and similar to the Masquerade route, get the chances to flirt with her and go on a date. It was interesting how Ishara sex scene has a little more detail than others, and extra text about being trans if your character is trans too (If you are cis she just mentions it during the date).

After the mission there is a party where we can do a lot of socializing, and similar to the masquerade route, confirm with your love interest(s) about the nature of your relationship. Then once again it is the time for the final fight, only this time it’s the Masquerade attacking us.

~~~~~~

I must admit that I was somewhat disappointed with how brief the final fight was. The few paragraphs leading up to the fight are pretty much the same in the Masquerade and the Rogues version, then we simply get to choose between persuading for peace, fighting to kill or to defend. Every one of these choices only have one paragraph explaining the result. During my first playthrough this caught me by surprise as I was expecting to actually read a tear jerking speech about living together in peace, not just a super concise summary. The epilogue is also basically just that, a sentence each about the final fate of the characters who stayed with you until the end.

 Final thoughts

Writing: The prose is where the game shines. The usage of uncommon (but not unknown) vocabulary in the more metaphorical imagery was lovely.

However, there are places where some unfamiliar LGBT terms or custom pronouns caught me off guard and made me pause to look stuff up. Personally I believe using too many technical terms in stories makes dialogue sound a bit forced and disrupts narration, but thankfully such instances weren’t very common in moonrise.

The humor was great, me frequently laughing over random things while describing the plot should be proof enough of that. The worldbuilding was done with a lot of care and the flow of plot was pretty logical for the most part, but towards the end I couldn't comprehend the logic behind some events and even after multiple playthroughs I haven't found any explanations for a couple of things, like the real mystery surrounding Alice's mother's death.

Characterization: Characterization was good but varying in quantity- Rosario and Alice were pretty well rounded character development wise and I loved their cute family-like interactions. I was all AWWW when Heather called the place with them her home ;v;

Compared to that Chika felt more of an enigma, but her date and the optional running off into the woods scene still gave her some chances to develop (though it mostly confirmed that she was a good person wishing for freedom and we didn’t really learn much about her personal emotions aside from liking Heather). Poor Ishara got even less chances, so all I managed to grasp was her loneliness. All three of the romance interests shared the issue of overly rapid romantic developments though, though in varying extents (repeat: poor Ishara).

Some side characters like Cassandra got detailed backstories, but it’s hard to grow to like her after experiencing ends where we got killed at her hand over something small. Because this story is only available in the masquerade path and there is no foreshadowing about her positive qualities before the route split, a lot of people might simply never play this path.

Player customization: I also wish the game description didn’t imply that the player character can be customized a lot. Considering how it was implied that the player had an abusive family and is trying to become a doctor because she wants to do and be “better’, imo the already present backstory is too defined for story to be immersive. I personally don’t seek to self insert so it’s not a problem for me (I PREFER this to a blank slate), but it may be for others who came into the game with wrong expectations.

One more thing I would like to see implemented in future versions is choosing if I was polyromantic/polysexual or not at the start of the game. Regardless of whether the player has locked into a romance route or not, "you" still keep thirsting after the beautiful possible LIs that cross your path. I found that rather distracting during my first playthrough since I was playing the game while planning to develop a monogamist cis lesbian character and I felt a disconnect whenever it happened.

Ending: Lastly, the ending. I don’t mind the short epilogues, but the description of the “final fight” was simply so short that it felt anticlimactic, so I will just hope that the ending will be more extended with detailed scenes in a later version.

In summary? Good prose, interesting worldbuilding but too-short romance and rushed ending. Worth a read if you like modern fiction with fantasy supernatural elements involving lots of queer characters and aren’t overly critical in your evaluation of the flow and logic in a story. The game is really cheap though, the amount of content you get is definitely worth $1.99, so if the game sounds like your cup of tea go ahead and try it out!

P/S: A short guide on maxing out the relationship points: being nice to the LI is a given, go on dates with them, and pick the following choices which might not seem obvious (I might be missing some choices that seem obvious to me but actually aren’t orz):

Chika: Ask Naoki to move but politely, Hold her hand (during date), Ask to come up for “coffee” (sex/literal coffee), Don’t choose the masquerade (duh)

Rosario: Embrace her, We let her (Alice) live here, Yes, spar without hurting

Ishara: Compliment, Flirt Back

#Moonrise #interactive fiction #interactive novel #queer fiction #review

[princess-of-the-corner]

Taking a break to talk about the Hero Chat AU and the episode Ladybug. Because I kinda mentioned it,  but I want to go over that episode in detail.

So, a few people are aware that Lila’s a fucking liar.

Mari and Adrien know, of course.

Chloé is also very aware, and she told Alix.

Alya, Nino, Max and Kim are all in the ‘suspicious of her, but not ready to really call her a manipulative bitch yet’ category.

The rest of the classmates are unaware, but can be influenced by the louder voices.

When Lila starts framing Marinette for stuff, more people stick up for her.

Cheating on the test:

Alya speaks up, vouching that Mari had no opportunity to steal the cheat sheet

When it’s obvious that Lila gave the tip to Miss Bustier about the cheating, the rest of the Team speaks up too, saying it’s out of character.

The rest of the classmates comment too, since the Team brings up a good point.

Miss Bustier calms the class and asks Marinette and Lila to head to the principals office so that they can discuss their issues in a private enviroment once she gets everyone else set up on the lesson today

Pushing Lila down the stairs:

Nino points out that Mari isn’t violent. She never punched Chloé, despite everything she did.

Chloé agrees with that. Both the ‘Mari isn’t violent’ and ‘I might’ve deserved a punch if she did’.

They know calling Lila a liar wouldn’t help, but instead suggest ‘perhaps Lila tripped and assumed Mari pushed her, since they’re not on good terms.’

When Lila insists that she was pushed, Alya and Nino ‘look, maybe she did it accidentally? You know how clumsy Mari is. She might’ve tripped and knocked into you, which then pushed you down?’

Everyone agrees that Mari isn’t malicious enough to push someone down the stairs, even someone she doesn’t like, but she is clumsy enough to do it accidentally.

Mari wants to insist she didn’t do that, but knows that continuing to say ‘Lila’s lying’ isn’t helping, so lets them think what they want to keep herself out of trouble.

Stealing the necklace:

At first, everyone’s at a loss for how the necklace got into Mari’s locker, but they all know she’s not a thief.

Adrien tries to speak up, but is silenced like in Canon.

Then Chloé speaks up, refusing to let the principal silence her, and points out that the necklace can’t be Lila’s family heirloom, because it’s from last year’s Agreste collection.

Lila tries to cover by saying ‘well, it is, but it was a gift from my grandmother! Not an heirloom!’.

Adrien speaks up again, this time coming up with a lie of his own to cover

He says that the necklace isn’t Lila’s and Mari didn’t steal it. He knows this because he’s the one who put it in Mari’s locker.

Mari had been having a rough time lately, and Adrien wanted to do something nice, so he snagged a necklace from his father’s collection to give to her.

It was totally supposed to be a surprise after class, but now she knows.

That said, he has no idea why Lila thinks that Mari stole it and stashed it in her own locker. Even if she mistook this necklace for her grandmother’s heirloom, she would’ve seen Adrien hiding it, not Mari, and accused him.

When Lila starts throwing a tantrum, insisting the necklace is hers, she’s guesturing wildly and stomping her feet. Alix points out ‘hey, guess you’re feeling better after falling down the stairs!’.

Everyone kinda realizes what Lila was doing, trying to frame Marinette. And they realize that Mari was probably very much right about everything else.

Between the shock, betrayal, guilt, and righteous fury everyone’s feeling, Hawkmoth takes advantage of the situation like in Canon.

Side note: Gabriel does not tell Lila to mess with Mari specifically, he just told her to ‘cause some chaos’, basically. Because fuck you let me have the weird ‘Hello future daughter-in-law!’ dynamic between Marinette and Gabriel.

Mari doesn’t get almost-Akumatized because she actually feels pretty good right now. Panicked at the mass Akumatizations, but still.

Chloé, Alix, and Adrien are also unaffected because as angry as they are, they know that it’ll be taken care of.

The whole Scarletmoth thing still falls through like in Canon though.

Lila still attempts to get out of all this by claiming that she has that ‘disease that makes her lie’.

It does get her the sympathy bump from most people, but the Team ain’t buying it.

Still, to play along for now, Mari, well, plays along. ‘Apologizing’ and saying ‘oh, why didn’t you tell me earlier! I thought you were lying because you were a jerk manipulating my friends! I can’t be mad at you if you can’t control it! Now that we know, we should probably keep track so we can see when your disease acts up so no one else gets almost expelled!’.

Everyone still apologizes to Mari though. Because she was right, Lila was lying.

Later, in private with the Team, Marinette discusses it with them.

Since everyone knows to believe her now, she feels safe confessing that Lila threatened her, and she’s sure the ‘disease’ isn’t real.

Adrien, while surprised at the threat, backs this up by pointing out that Lila did in fact confess to ‘her disease acting up after seeing Adrien put the necklace in Mari’s locker’. And since he did not in fact do that, she’s lying again.

Everyone’s kinda mad at him for that because yeah he technically did lie, but it was to counter Lila’s lie so they don’t stay mad. And also he offers to actually buy Mari a necklace instead of tricking their way into one.

Adrien also confesses that he knew Lila was lying, because Ladybug called Lila out on the first day, but decided that he and Marinette should just ignore it because Lila’s lies weren’t doing that much harm before.

Everyone’s a little more mad at him about this, but Marinette clarifies that she didn’t tell Adrien about the threats.

Chloé also defends him by pointing out that it’s how you’re supposed to deal with celebrity gossip and tabloid magazines. And also that once he realized this is more than that he decided to do something.

Chloé adds more proof to the pile of ‘Lila’s lying wasn’t caused by a disease’ by pointing out the fact that Lila was gone for months.

They can prove Lila was in Paris because of Volpina being there for Hero’s Day.  

So how does it work with Lila’s mother? The teachers would’ve called her about Lila’s absences and supposed disabilities she’s lied about.

She likely has a whole scheme set up that includes fake emails, forged doctor’s notes, and straight up lying to her mother.

They all have a feeling Lila isn’t done yet and are prepping for things.

Okay, that was long and I’m gonna break it off for half a second to use my favorite sentence for Lila: I think the fuck not you trick ass bitch!!

Back to the other half of the episode with Senti!Bug

Since this AU includes the Groupchat, when Mari sees a Ladybug running around she texts the chat like ‘hey that ain’t me!’

So everyone kinda knows Senti!Bug is a fake.

Once the real LB shows up they kinda lose track during the fight

But Senti!Bug/Mayura is trying to trick not only Chat Noir, but also Rena, Carapace, and Honeybee. She can’t replicate the dynamic accurately enough and they’re able to sniff her out.

The actual fight against Hawkmoth goes pretty much the same, ending with Hawkmoth holding Chat and Ladybug holding Mayura.

When they do the whole ‘This bitch empty! YEET!’ thing, Rena, Carapace, and Honeybee try to jump after Hawkmoth, but he manages to knock them away and escape.

Instead of the ‘deal with the devil’, they all encourage Adrien to tell his father about Lila’s ‘disease’, hoping it will keep her away from him.

Adrien frames it as him believing the ‘disease’ thing, and saying ‘I’m trying to be nice because she can’t control it, but even when her ‘disease’ isn’t acting up she makes me uncomfortable and invades my personal space a lot….’.

He was ready to go further, saying stuff like ‘can you imagine what would happen if her ‘disease’ acts up and causes a scandal for us?’.

However, Gabriel might be a fuck but he can be a good parent sometimes. As soon as Adrien confessed to Lila making him uncomfortable/basically harassing him, the bitch was going to get hella banned from everything Gabriel can ban her from.

Obvs Gabriel might think that Lila’s ability to fuck shit up might be useful for Hawkmoth, but he’s keeping her on a very short leash next time and not letting her near Adrien ever.

All’s well that ends well!

#Hero Chat AU

[habibialkaysani]

okay so. a lot has been going on lately and I haven't had much time to be on here or time in general. now that the week is over tho things are starting to die down hopefully. and like I do with work emails I'm gonna just write a list, of all the things that have been going on, because I feel like my brain is about to explode otherwise.

lots of rambling, potentially triggering stuff under the cut:

1) pain. so much pain. I thought I'd moved past this endo thing, or at least that the pain was contained because of the meds the gyno gave me plus the progesterone that was definitely easing the pain for a bit during the month. but the ones my gyno gave me, they can only be taken during my period and mine isn't starting. so I've been in agony, like in so much pain, and the only relief has been a hot water bottle and codeine. and I don't want to take more days off when I've already taken sick days this year - which is not like me, at all. but potentially that might not be an issue for a while if I end up having to work from home. and in terms of addressing the root cause of the problem, that's unlikely, because the mri I had of my pelvis came back normal. no indications of endometriosis which I expected because this shit doesn't show on ultrasounds or mris. I do think there might be a chance it shows on a transvaginal ultrasound but they outright refuse to do that which really fucking pisses me off bc it's on the basis of me never being laid before which as I've mentioned is ridiculous.

2) speaking of. this motherfucking coronavirus is doing my head in. seriously i had to order hand sanitiser for the office and it still hasn't arrived. I did manage to get a few masks but god those were expensive. and just generally it's all anyone will talk about at work which is driving me nuts. and what makes it worse is that I'm going out of my mind thinking about speedy and if she gets it, because she's got a heart condition and her immune system isn't very strong even for regular flu. this shit will hit her hard and I'm terrified of that esp after hearing boris fucking johnson saying in his speech that people are going to lose loved ones. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her. actually I have an idea and it would not be good. I spoke to my brother who is a healthcare professional and he said that it's best to get in touch with the cardiology team that look after speedy to see if we can do anything preventative or get her tested.

3) in better news, my brother just announced to our family that he's getting married. already its causing arguments and his fiancee comes from a more well off family (the bar is low tho admittedly) so we're all gonna be scrambling to get our tiny house somewhat in shape for when my bro's future in laws visit in a couple weeks. but it's still good news I think because my bro is smitten and that's just nice to see. his fiancee makes him happy and that's something I'm really glad he found. they want a small wedding too so hopefully we'll have like 200 guests max, which would be sacrilege in any desi household lol.

4) I've been looking for a new job for a while now. things at work have been tough, ever since my old manager gave in her notice. I don't mind my current manager all that much, but she's in hr, and she's clearly never managed anyone before because she is nowhere near as good a support system as my old manager. I could go to my old manager and complain about something and she'd listen, and she actively made an effort to monitor my workload. this new one, she just doesn't put the same effort in and she also just doesn't understand the role I'm in either. she seems to think the job I do is easy and straightforward when it is neither, on the basis that she thinks admin is something anyone could do, and she does nothing to try and ease things when my workload gets heavy. plus my managers manager who is also in hr is just really not nice. she enjoys a power trip way too much. that and the fat cats that are our clients - well suffice it to say I think my time here is up. so I've been looking and I found a nonprofit that was hiring. I did my first interview with them and it went surprisingly well. and now I've got my second one next friday. I really hope that goes well too and that I get the job, just so I can see the look on my managers managers face when I give in my notice 😂 and this new job if I get it would be five fewer hours and I think that could do wonders for my wellbeing. and my sanity.

5) writing. I've done none of it. it's a problem. I don't know what to do to make my mojo come back because I write the best when I'm alone, and I'm never on my own nowadays unless I'm in bed in pain, in which case writing is the last thing I feel like doing. but I also really want to write. so badly. I feel like I'm emotionally more stable when I'm writing. I'm happier. and I just do not have that right now which is not fun.

6) reading - now this is something I have done. my dear friend reen recommended a series of books called reluctant royals, by alyssa cole, and omg. they are so good. I powered through three big novels and two novellas. like I devoured them. and I'm being reminded of how much I love books. good ones. they made me laugh a lot and I'm really glad my friend recommended them.

7) speaking of devouring. a few weeks ago I found on several occasions that people were offering their seats to me on public transport, presumably because they thought I was pregnant. it was this combined with my doctor admitting my bmi wasn't normal (tho only when I asked if this might be causing the pain) that made me realise that I needed to lose weight drastically, and to eat better and walk more. so I've been eating more veggies and salad. trying to put more greens on my plate. not have fast food as often. in all honesty I'm not sure how much of a difference its actually made, but I do know that I feel a little better having done so over the last few weeks. my brother also said I looked like I had lost weight. I've also noticed it a little in my tummy going in a bit too. but I also know that this is a rabbit hole I don't want to go down too far. I worry I might have already with the weighing which I've been doing far too often now that there's scales at work (for weighing big packages). I don't want this to spiral out of control. but I think I've done okay so far, minus the weighing thing - I've always eaten when I've felt hungry so it's not like I'm starving myself. and so far I've only lost about 3kg. which I feel is significant but also nowhere near enough when it comes to the nhs bmi calculator.

8) my little brother has been acting up for months now, and tbh it's starting to give me anxiety. my mother found weed in his room and he's just been rebelling in what I see as normal teenage ways like smoking and staying out late, but it's also affecting his school and I'm worried he won't leave with decent a levels bc he already failed once. and his school keeps emailing my dad about him supposedly being absent, and my dad's response to this for about two months now has been to post a screenshot of each email into the family group chat and demand where my bro has been. it doesn't help. and I don't need to be notified every time he skips school or whatever like that is not my fucking problem to have to see when I'm at work and have enough stresses as it is. my dad is an idiot and honestly some days I would dearly love to punch the man in the face.

9) I start my group therapy in a couple weeks. it’s for generalised anxiety and I am really, really hoping it will help me because the other group therapy I’ve done previously, like a couple months back, has proven to be really helpful. here’s hoping.

10) if anyone is still reading this far - I realise this sounds a lot like I'm feeling sorry for myself. maybe I am to some degree. but my life is just a lot right now and I'm genuinely a bit shocked I'm still in one piece and that I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. everything is a lot and I feel like I'm going through a lot of change. that's hard. but I'm trying my best to get through this and I hope somehow I can. I actually left tumblr for a bit because for various reasons I didn’t feel as safe talking about my problems on here, through no fault but my own really. I’m hoping I’ve moved past that now.

#me.txt #personal #body image cw #ed tw #work tag #desi tag #uterus tag #long post for ts #tmi

[akozuheiwa]

Based on @scassidy2​′s post

The thing is, when Tony feels the fever and infection start to set in, his first thought is, good. Good, because for some reason, out of everyone that was on Titan, out of the supposed galactic heroes and the wizard who could see the future and Peter, the universe let Tony live and it shouldn’t have.

But he lets the girl – Nebula? Was that her name? Like a baby star or like a dead one, it could go either way but he was leaning towards the latter because wow, that stare could murder, and he’s way off topic. He lets Nebula try to help him, because he doesn’t want to leave her alone, that wouldn’t be fair to her. The problem is, Nebula knows very little about humans.

“Didn’t you have a human on your little team?” he asks, wincing as she prods at the red skin around the stab wound.

“Quill was half planet,” she replies, then jabs him.

“Ow!” he yelps. “Gentle, I’m not half – did you just say planet? Please tell me you didn’t just say planet.”

“His father was a planet that wanted to take over the universe.”

Tony opens his mouth to respond to that, but he can’t even think of something sarcastic because it’s that weird, so he shuts it and shakes head. Instead, he says, “Okay, well, do you have anything to clean the wound? We should’ve done this earlier, but, oh, well.”

“No,” she says.

“Great, okay, how are you all not–” he stops abruptly. Nebula flinches imperceptibly. “Okay. Well, this might get… bad, then. You don’t have any alcohol?”

Her eyes narrow. “You want to pour alcohol on your wound?”

“You have some?”

“Maybe. Quill enjoys – enjoyed it. It’s hard to come by, since on many planets it is a deadly poison,” she says.

“Poison, yes, deadly, no,” says Tony. “God knows I’ve drunk enough to kill me twenty times over. Alcohol! Good, if you find some, bring it here. To clean the wound. Also because I need a drink.”

She nods and walks off. In the back of his head, a voice that sounds like Bruce tells him this is a bad idea, but, hey, if alcohol can disinfect stuff why not a stab wound?

Once he’s alone, he cranes his head to examine the wound himself. It’s gory. He’s had worse, but that doesn’t make this look any less bad and gross, and even with whatever space vodka Nebula can find, the infection might just kill him. It’s a shame. Pepper’s probably waiting for him, unless she – nope, no, not going down that path. He sighs and leans back again, resting his head against cold metal. It’s all his nightmares rolled into one horrifying reality.

He’s in space.

His kid is gone.

And he could have done space if Peter were here. Peter thought space was cool. If he were here, he’d be rambling about who-knows-what and Tony could listen to him and zone out and appreciate that at least the universe offered him this kindness. Except Peter’s gone, shattered into dust in his arms, whispering apologies and leaving Tony alone.

Nebula strides back into the room and shoves a bottle at him.

“There’s not much, but use as much as you want,” she says. “Quill’s not around to care, anyway.”

That feels callous, but she’s right, if blunt. Tony unscrews the lid and pours the alcohol on the wound, which was a bad idea because it burns and Tony grits his teeth and lets out a strangled cry of pain. Nebula steadies his hands.

“I should have listened to the Bruce in my head,” he grits out. Nebula gives him a weird look – the most emotion he’s seen out of her so far. He waves her off, then tries to take a swig of the bottle.

It’s empty.

Figures.

He hands the bottle back to Nebula. His wound is still burning. He wishes Bruce were here. Or a real doctor. Or Peter. He really wishes Peter were here.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” he says.

Nebula nods. She leaves, and Tony is alone again.

At least in his dreams, Peter is alive.

  When Tony next wakes, he knows he’s sick. He can feel the fever burning hot and the weakness trembling under his skin. He hovers a shaky hand over the bandages and feels the heat radiating through them, not a good sign, a very bad sign, actually.

As he goes back to sleep, he thinks first of Peter, Peter who’s gone. Then of Pepper, back on Earth.

It’s always Pepper.

  Pepper is sitting beside him, lips downturned and eyes dark. Tony blinks groggily at her. Part of him is sure he’s dreaming. Part of him doesn’t care; he’s too relieved to see her.

“You left us,” she says.

Tony’s breath leaves him in a sharp gasp. He swallows. “Pep, I–”

“You left us,” she says, and she rests a hand on his midsection and Tony feels like all the air has been pulled from his body. He reaches out, arm shaking, but he can’t reach her.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

I dreamt we had a kid. It was so real.

“You left us,” she says again. Then, before his eyes, she crumbles. It starts with her legs, then her torso – the baby, the dream, it was so real – then the rest of her, dissolved into dust and leaving her accusation echoing in the ship. Tony’s eyes burn. Not Pepper too, not Pepper.

“I’m sorry,” he sobs, arm dropping because he’s lost all energy to move it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

No apology will ever be enough.

  “Mr. Stark.”

Tony blinks awake again. His vision is blurred, wet, confused, and it takes him a second to make out the figure beside him.

“Peter,” he dares to breathe. “Peter, kid.”

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” says Peter. He sounds tired and sad. Peter shouldn’t ever be sad.

“You’re okay,” Tony says. For a second, he forgets. Peter is there. Peter is safe. Peter is alive.

“No, Mr. Stark, I’m not,” says Peter.

Tony shakes his head. “You’re okay, kid, I’m – I’m gonna protect you.”

“You didn’t.”

Peter might as well have punched him in the gut. Tony chokes and stammers useless, horrified syllables. Peter’s face is emotionless and cold. His eyes look dead. Tony tries to start breathing again, but it isn’t working right, not with Peter staring at him like that.

“I’m just a kid, Mr. Stark,” Peter continues, as if Tony doesn’t know that, doesn’t know that he fucked up bringing a kid into all of this. “I was just a kid.”

“No, no, Peter,” Tony begs. “Please, Peter, please.”

When he blinks, Peter is gone. There’s someone placing a wet rag over his forehead. Nebula’s face filters into view. She looks as stony as usual, but there’s something in her eyes that might be sympathy.

“Your son isn’t here,” she murmurs, “but he wouldn’t blame you. You seem like a good father.”

“Peter,” he whimpers pitifully. A good father doesn’t let his kid turn to dust in his arms. A good father would have prevented this. If Tony was a good father, Peter would be alive on Earth.

“I’m sorry,” Nebula says.

The world fades back out of focus and all Tony can think about is how he failed his kid.

  Peter’s there.

He stands there, fiddling awkwardly with his hands. He’s wearing the first t-shirt Tony ever got him, the one that’s too big and says, “I survived my trip to NYC”. He’s smiling but his eyes are sad. Tony can’t stand to see his kid sad.

“Pete,” he whispers. “What’s wrong?”

“Mr. Stark,” Peter says. “Dad.”

Tony sucks in a sharp breath. His heart warms, like it does every time Peter slips up and calls him Dad, except this time it wasn’t a slip-up, it was purposeful. He smiles.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says.

“Dad, I’m sorry,” Peter says.

“No, no, why are you sorry?” asks Tony. “Come here – come on, we’re there, kid, we’re there.”

He tries to shift to make room, to give Peter that hug he’s always wanted, but his body ignores him. He frowns; he feels weak and feverish. He manages to lift a hand to cup Peter’s cheek, but Peter doesn’t come any closer.

“You did good, kid,” he says. “You always do.”

“I don’t feel so good,” Peter says.

Tony’s felt his heart stop a lot in his life time. It’s almost comical. But this – he’s heard this before – and he remembers and his heart stutters and stops and he can’t do this again.

“No,” he says.

“I don’t wanna go.”

“No, no.” Tony manages to raise another hand and grip Peter’s. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t let you. You hear? You’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispers, eyes bright. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“No, kid, Peter, please,” Tony pleads, even as Peter’s feet vanish beneath him and Peter stumbles and falls, and Tony’s trying to support him even as the rest of the boy shatters with Tony’s heart.

“I’m sorry,” Peter chokes out one last time.

“No,” Tony sobs. He’s all dust. He’s gone. Tony should have protected him. He failed. When his hands don’t start turning to dust next – when he realises he’s cursed with life – Tony chokes and makes a weak, hoarse sound of sorrow. His lips form Peter’s name, but no sound follows besides gasping sobs.

Fine. If the universe won’t do it, then fine. Let Death come to collect her Merchant. It’s about time.

Tony lets out a rough breath and refuses to take another.

  Tony wakes up. He wasn’t supposed to, but he does. He shifts weakly to look at Nebula, hovering beside him.

“Your fever’s broken,” she says. “You cut it close, Stark. You weren’t breathing.”

“You revived me,” he says numbly. He wants to be angry, but something vulnerable shifts in her expression for a microsecond and he can’t find the energy or heart to be mad at her. She lost everything too.

“It might be for nothing,” she admits. “We’re… running out of supplies.”

He nods and waits until she leaves to break. He leans back and tries to ignore the dry, shaking sobs that wrack his frame, jolting the still painful stab wound from what feels like a lifetime ago. He’s out of water to cry, and he can’t waste any. Nebula will need it more than him. If that means he doesn’t make it home, that he gets to join Peter–

Good.

#tony stark #iron dad #peter parker #endgame spoilers #iron man #spider-man #mcu #fic #my fic #scassidy2's idea #whump #angst #endgame #infinity war #fanfic

[dailyaudiobible]

06/10/2019 DAB Transcript

1 Kings 7:1-51, Acts 7:30-50, Psalms 128:1-6, Proverbs 16:31-33

Today is the 10th day of June. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is great to be here with you as we get our work week started and take the next step forward together as we continue our journey through the Scriptures this year. And we’re working our way through first kings and the reign of Solomon. We’re working our way through the book of Acts and the birth of the church and we’er reading from the English Standard Version this week. Today first Kings chapter 7.

Commentary:

Alright. So, as we’re moving our way through first kings we've seen Solomon build a palace for himself and he had the implements needed for use in the temple fashioned.

And then in Acts we’re continuing to listen. It seems like a sort of long review. And it's really wonderful that it comes at this time of year. What it actually is is the testimony of a deacon, a newly appointed deacon, one of the first deacons in the church named Stephen. He’d been arrested and kind of defamed. And, so, he’s been kind of hauled before the Jewish high Council and he's giving testimony and what he's doing in the process is giving us review but what he's actually doing is proving to the high Council that he is thoroughly Hebrew and thoroughly understands the Hebrew origin story. So, we listened to him talk about Moses today and that was one of the chief accusations against him, that he was defaming or denigrating Moses and blaspheming God.

And then, so we get to the Psalms today and it's this example of how something profound happens when a blessing is spoken over us. This may happen to you in church every week, right? At the end of the service maybe your pastor speaks a benediction, a word of benediction over you, a word of blessing over you. That was true in biblical, right? It carries through, the tradition carries through all the way today. And we can kinda just blow by that like in church, the benediction, if you have that. And you probably have that in some form or another, right? So, if you're in a more traditional church the benediction spoken of you will probably be the same every week, whereas your pastor, no matter what church you’re in probably has a way of closing the service and it may be a word of encouragement or blessing over you. And, so, we can blow-by that, it’s just like a little marker, just a little trigger. Okay, service is over. But words of affirmation spoken over us, like that actually reorients our hearts if we’re paying attention. So, let's just practice that. Slow down a bit. Because now you know, we've already read to the Scriptures and we’re moving toward the end of our time together. And, so, we can kind of just start moving out of this space. Slow down and just allow these words to be spoken over you for your day. “How joyful are those who fear the Lord. All who follow his ways you will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be. Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young all of trees as they sit around your table. That is the Lord's blessing for those who fear him. May the Lord continually bless you from Zion. May you see Jerusalem prosper as long as you live. May you live to enjoy your grandchildren. May Israel have peace.” See! Right, doesn't that not orient your heart toward God and encourage you for your day? So, words of benediction or affirmation or declaration spoken over us has been a tradition all the way back into biblical times. All we just did was use the Bible to speak those words of affirmation, words that were spoken over people who were coming up to Jerusalem or leaving Jerusalem. So, it's amazing how the Bible can speak such encouragement and life over us if we’re just paying attention. So, remember this blessing as you move forward into your day.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You that we’re continuing forward in the story of King Solomon, we’re continuing forward in the testimony of Steven and they all lead somewhere and we’re watching these stories because we find ourselves in these stories. But we thank You for the gift of the Psalm today, Psalm 129, speaking these words of affirmation of blessing over our lives for today. And, so, we receive them. We take them within us and we meditate upon them today. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here. So, of course, stay tuned and stay connected in any way that you can and any way that you will.

Of course, we announced the Daily Audio Bible family reunion where the global campfire comes together for 2019 last week, a week ago today. And it looks like we’re going to be getting together because a lot of you are coming and we’re excited about that. It’s gonna be fantastic. This will take place August 31st through the 2nd of September, this is Labor Day weekend here in the United States. So, we get a long weekend to come to Nashville, come around the global campfire, and just hang out together, play together. We’re looking forward to that very much. So, registration is open. Come. Just stay on the grounds and enjoy the beauty, all the activities that exist. You can get all the details at dailyaudiobible.com in the initiatives section. Look for Family Reunion 2019 and all of the details are there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There's a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible, this is Rebecca from Michigan, June 6th. You know I just need prayer for my temperament because I almost lost my cool at my job today because of some lady is totally jealous because I have gained Seniority there like 5 ½ years and I’m starting to go somewhere and get opportunities. I always take things that people really don’t want, job opportunities that people don’t want, like trips and stuff and she’s like trying to start stuff with me and my management and why I’m getting all these things but I’m used to just taking things that people aren’t really interested in and that is offered to me in order of seniority, in the order that it comes down to me. So, I feel like I’m being really attacked at my job and I almost lost my cool today with this person and I just want God to heal my temper, show me ways to refrain myself because I know the verse that says, “be still and know I am God”. And I’ve been listening to Daily Audio Bible, I think since November 2011 on and off because I remember Ezekiel being born, that’s how far back. I remember. And this is like the first year I’ve finally been keeping up with you guys. I haven’t had no technical problems or electronic problems or things like that. So, I’ve been pretty much keeping up with you guys and I can see my life really growing spiritually and sometimes I just…I’m amazed at how far God has taken me and I just been believing in him for paying off my bills and being debt-free and decluttering my life because that’s what I’m believing in Him for. Thank you. I love you. Bye.

Hi, this is Rob Whitfield from Ontario Canada. This is my first time calling but I’ve been blessed by Daily Audio Bible for over five years now and I want to thank the Hardin family for this Daily Audio Bible, it means so much to us. I want to just say that I’m calling with a heavy heart. Our son Jamie who is now 32 was diagnosed three years ago, the first time with multiple melanoma, which is usually an older folks type of cancer and it was shocking to our family. He successfully went through all his chemo and two blood stem cell transplants along with a whole lot of other medications and doctor’s appointments, but our hearts are heavy because we just found out last week that it has returned. And we know our God is not mended by time and today he has his first oncology review and I’m praying…I’m asking that the Daily Audio Bible prayer warriors lift him up in prayer. We’re finding it very hard, especially since he is beginning to lose his desire to fight this and that is breaking our hearts. We depend on your prayers and we look forward to giving you good news in the future that the Lord has answered that prayer. Thanks again. Have a good day. Bye-bye.

Hello, DAB my name is Joanna a first-time calling phoning from France. I’ve been listening to your podcast for a few months now, English and in French and find it hugely helpful enriching and soothing, especially where my access to church has been limited for years being housebound by illness. Anyway, last Monday’s episode, June 4, 2019 had a voice message from Jordan of Georgia at about 14 minutes in. I just spent the weekend in some considerable distress about two specific things and what she said on the surface sounded like nonspecific, general, good advice. Those two sentences spoke directly to what had been troubling me. So, I want to thank Jordan for her wisdom and discernment as she listened to God’s prompting. And thank you Lord for caring so much about your family in every corner of the earth. How incredible how the creator of all things using us to encourage one another. A tech savvy God, hey? Jordan mentioned something from her health. Father, envelope her in a warm blanket of peace and rest. Strengthen her in endurance and resilience stemming from you and your living Word. Amen. __may God bless you all love Joanna and France.

Hello, my name’s Ben, a first-time caller from London and I just wanna ask for prayer for a large group of children here in the UK who are currently going through senior school examinations. We call them GCSE’s and A levels. But it’s a tough time for our children and my daughter is one of them. They’ve not been going too well for her and we’ve had a lot of tears and a lot of stress but what’s really lifted my heart is that every night and after every exam she has prayed, she has sat down with friends from church and with us, her family, and prayed to the Lord. She’s returned even though those exams have not gone well. She’s always come back to Him. And after all, that’s the real exam that we all have to pass isn’t it? The exams that we do at school they’re very important and yes, they will affect our lives but ultimately the true test that we have to pass, the only one that we have to pass, is that whatever happens we have to return to the Lord and trust in Him. And that’s really lifted me, that’s really helped me. I’d just like to thank you DAB for being a really big part of my life over the past few years. As I said, first time caller. Thank you DAB, thank you DAB family. God, bless.

[timeagainreviews]

When Rosa met Banksy

Racism in Doctor Who has been dealt with in various ways throughout the years. The Daleks themselves represent possibly the essence of racism. Anything that isn’t a Dalek is inferior and to be hated. But even that is a fantastical portrayal of racism. What "Rosa," attempts to address is something far more insidious- the racism of humanity’s past.

Doctor Who has had its own racism to address before, and amended when possible. Li H'sen Chang is set to be portrayed by Nicholas Goh in upcoming audio adventures with River Song. Casting a man of Asian descent is a step in the right direction from the yellowface portrayal by John Bennett in "The Talons of Weng-Chiang." What will the BBC say if a certain missing episode of "The Celestial Toymaker," is ever rediscovered? Will they own up to the use of a horribly racist slur in their family program?

Regardless of what the show has done, or hasn't done, having done an episode like "Rosa," shows a lot of growth in the show's own identity and execution. So let's talk about that execution, shall we?

In my post "Considering 'Rosa'," I worried that one of the biggest issues would be that Rosa Parks didn't survive without her agency intact. She has, as well as anyone who just had their actual real-life traipsed through by fictional characters can.

The story begins in 1947 Montgomery, Alabama, with Rosa Parks (played by Vinette Robinson who was also in the episode "42," written by Chris Chibnall) sitting on the bus. The bus is segregated between "whites," and "coloreds," as it was in those days. When the “whites” section fills, Rosa is asked to move by the bus driver James Blake, played by a very over the top Trevor White. The scene serves to show not only how segregation on the buses worked, but also how Rosa Parks has had to deal with this bullshit for years. We're also given a bit of foreshadowing when Rosa pauses for a moment, as though she may remain seated.

Fast forward to 1955. After fourteen incarnations, the Doctor still can't really pilot the TARDIS, but as we all know, the TARDIS usually has other plans anyway. Her target was present-day Sheffield, instead, she has arrived in 1955 Montgomery. While landed, the Doctor realises there is a strange trace of Artron energy (ambient radiation from the time vortex) in the area. Which means, of course, she has to explore.

Almost immediately, the crew is served a heaping dose of racism when Ryan nearly gets his block knocked off for returning a dropped glove to a white woman. If not for the interference of Rosa Parks, things could have gotten even uglier. The TARDIS crew are star struck by meeting Rosa Parks, but she doesn't really understand why, as her big history defining moment is still a day away. On a whim, the Doctor gives her a cheeky scan with the sonic as she's walking away. The trace of Artron energy is coming from her. But why?

Back at the TARDIS, we're given a bit of the why. A man, looking a lot like Mac from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," (but in Alabama, so Country Mac?) eyes the TARDIS up and down. We're given the impression he knows this is a sort of time machine. After knocking at her doors, Country Mac tries to shoot the TARDIS with an anachronistic device. The TARDIS's shields hold strong as the resounding "vworp," she emits could easily translate into "Yeah mate, try me." Discouraged, Country Mac walks away.

The Doctor and her friends are treated to more racism after being thrown out of a segregated cafe. I liked that this was used as a moment for the Doctor to take a little responsibility and offer to let her friends stay on the TARDIS. “It’s easier for me here,” she says, acknowledging her own white privilege. Ryan and Yaz refuse on the grounds that Rosa Parks doesn’t have that option.

The Doctor and her friends trace the Artron energy to an abandoned warehouse, where they uncover a suitcase full of knackered timey-wimey instruments. The owner of these instruments sneaks up and chases her and her friends away. Their chase ends in a sort of stand-off between the Doctor and Country Mac. The Doctor and her friends find a hotel to use as a base to formulate a plan. Part of that plan is to learn Rosa Parks’ routine, which requires them to take the bus.

Ryan, being a black man, has to ride on the back of the bus. Due to their situation, it’s an unpleasant necessity, despite the Doctor’s apology to Ryan. In watching this scene, I'm reminded of a moment in John Peel's loathsome Doctor Who novel, "Timewyrm: Genesys." In it, Ace is molested by the Gilgamesh, and the Doctor is basically like "Er... duh... just go with it. Ur. Dur. Uh... It's the culture." (I may have taken license there as it's kind of despicable and I hated that book).

The main difference here is that Doctor does not seem to enjoy abiding the situation. You can see the shame on her and Graham's face as they sit in the "whites," section of the bus. Poor Yaz, who gets referred to as a Mexican for most of the episode, is also pretty torn as she's not even sure what part of the bus a non-black, non-white woman should sit. One of the reasons the Doctor may be so abiding, however, is not in that it's "the culture," but that they're in a very important moment of history, which may be in jeopardy. She’s afraid to tip the balance of history in the wrong direction.

This brings us back to the villain of the episode- Country Mac, or "Krasko," as I'm not going to refer to him. Series eleven has had some pretty wonderful highs. Jodie Whittaker is a lovely Doctor. The companions are all developing decently. Though I would like to see more Yaz, lest she becomes the new Nyssa. "Just gonna nap this one out guys, enjoy your ancient snake gods or whatever." For the most part, I've liked a lot of elements of it, but the villains have been absolute tosh!

So far we've had the Tooth Fairy, some bog roll, and now Country Mac. So who is this Krasko? After being interrogated by the Doctor, we learn he's a former prisoner of the Stormcage Containment Facility (the very same that imprisoned River Song), for some sort of crime that resulted in the loss of 2,000 lives. He's been implanted with a device that inhibits his ability to use violence. So when the Doctor removes the vortex manipulator from his arm, he can only watch in anger. They released him and said: "Keep yer nose clean, kid." He's also super racist.

For some reason, he wants to keep Rosa Parks from jumpstarting the civil rights movement, because "That's when everything went wrong." Right. Sure. How that really affects him, a man from the future is kind of perplexing. Considering the 51st century is when people who use vortex manipulators usually come from, it's like he's saying that for at least the next 31 centuries, black people will continue to sit in the back of buses. He's gotta be really stupid. Which, he's racist, so maybe he is. Regardless, it's a pretty thin premise, but whatever.

I was really hoping for the rest of the episode to explain his motives, but it never really does. All we learn more about him is that he's pretty racist. Man is this guy racist. Hoo-boy, so racist. Yeah, that's about all I got on him. Other than that, his plot is basically what I expected from him last week. Only now that the Doctor has relieved him of his cool little timey-wimey toys, he's forced to screw with time in more creative ways, such as delaying buses, sending the antagonist of Rosa's narrative, James Blake, on a fishing trip, or blocking roads. It's not a bad story device on a Doctor Who level. Pretty much classic in those regards.

The brilliance of Malorie Blackman's script comes in how the Doctor and her companions deal with the issue. I said how I worried about maintaining Rosa's agency could be in jeopardy, but Blackman wisely works around this by having the Doctor and her friends aiding time in secret. They have to thwart Country Mac at every turn, which requires some very basic footwork. Instead of pointing the sonic at a magical machine, or beating the sludge monster with the power of love, their methods are more practical, and visible onscreen. I love that about the script. Getting to see the Doctor and her friends be clever is always a welcome sight. Though watching the Doctor rip her coat as to require Mrs. Parks' service as a seamstress made me die a little inside. I've been working on a Thirteenth Doctor cosplay, and that coat has been the bane of my existence!

On a production level, the episode is also rather praiseworthy. Making modern South Africa look like 1955 Alabama, cars and all, is rather impressive. It has the look and feel of a small segregated town in the south. The cinematography is generally really effective, but if I am honest, it’s got some really annoying tendencies at times. Their shot-reverse-shot dialogue scenes can get really hacky. There are moments when a character standing to the right will be framed left, and a character standing to the left will be framed right. You see it used a lot these days, but they seldom use it in context to the scene. It feels used for the sake of “looking cool.”  Another thing I really can’t stand are the extreme close-ups we’ve been getting during scenes of intimate dialogue. They’ve used them in every episode so far, and they’re rather ugly and annoying. Instead of feeling more intimate, I’m left irritated that I can’t actually see the scene. #letcharactershaveshoulders

Another praiseworthy element would be Segun Akinola’s music, once again. I know I keep talking about him, but this stuff is seriously good. Has anyone else gotten a bit of a John Hughes or even Heathers vibe from some of his music? The music during the montage scene reminded me of that 80′s goodness, especially. Though isn’t it a bit sad that Yaz’s shining moment of the episode was in a montage? Give that girl some better screentime dammit!

Perhaps one of the most effective moments in the episode is when the Doctor and Graham realise they have to be on the wrong side of history, in order to protect the future. The bus has not yet reached capacity enough for bus driver James Blake to demand people of colour move to the back. Yaz and Ryan have had to take the brunt of much of the racism, and now the tables have turned. The Doctor and Graham must partake in the racism. They have to use their white skin against Rosa, as much as it pains them, and sit on the bus.

In a lot of ways, the episode strives to portray what it's like to experience racism, and how it affects different people. When the Doctor says "Who's up for a bus ride?" The bus loving Graham's hand shoots up, while Ryan looks less enthused, as he knows what that entails. We spend a large portion of the episode worried for Ryan's safety. Especially after Rosa reminds him that Emmet Till was also a visitor when he was murdered by a lynch mob in Mississippi. Ryan and Yaz are not having a great time, despite the fact that they're travelling with the Doctor. It's a harsh reminder that history has never been very kind to people of colour. Malorie Blackman gives them both a chance at some very powerful character development as the two of them speak on their own experiences. Yaz once again, gets a bit sidelined, sadly. Ryan however, gets to go on his own journey, spending an evening with Rosa Parks, Fred Gray, and Martin Luther King Jr.

Aside from the atrocious American accents (I now know how British people must feel hearing Americans do their accents), my only other major qualm with the episode was the dialogue. It wasn't so much the content of the dialogue, as much as it's hamfisted nature. It seemed choppy and unnatural throughout a lot of it. That’s not to say it was all bad. There were plenty of snappy moments and cute dialogue. The Doctor’s claim that she could be Banksy was particularly funny. The bigger issues were when dialogue was used primarily to expound information.  I was reminded of early Doctor Who when Ian and Barbara used their teacher powers to edutain children into learning something about history. But in this episode, perhaps that was a necessity.

Portraying racism in a family show like Doctor Who really does take a bit of education. When Graham hears Ryan say he couldn't remember exactly what Rosa Parks was famous for, he almost has a stroke. It's perhaps more responsible for the show to assume many young people watching Doctor Who won't know who Rosa Parks actually was. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't know that she and Martin Luther King knew one another. Also, since when don't Doctor Who historicals pack a load of information about their subjects into the episode? It's part of the journey.

Country Mac is sent back in time by his own stupid time displacement gun, leading me to think that perhaps he'll return again. Older, wiser, racister. It's about as exciting a prospect of more Tim Shaw, which isn't much. Like I said with "The Woman Who Fell to Earth," perhaps they'll get more character development when they return?

There's really nothing fun about portraying racism, which by extension made this episode, not a lot of fun to watch. So far, Chris Chibnall's vision for Doctor Who has been a bit on the dreary side. It's got that Broadchurch misery porn stank to parts of it, that I hope it shakes off soon. Next week's "Arachnids in the UK," could be a welcome bit of respite. The small preview reminded me a bit of “Gremlins 2.” It seems like more of a whimsical romp. Then again, so did Chibnall's "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship," and even that was too serious to be much fun. Even still, I'm glad Doctor Who is attempting to tackle some bigger issues. 'Rosa,' isn't a perfect episode, but it's an improvement on some of the show’s past sins, and hopefully, a step forward.

Up Next: 

In a day or two- Doctor Who and “The Daleks” Midweek- Twin Peaks season 1 episode 1

#Doctor Who #rosa #thirteenth doctor #chris chibnall #jodie whittaker #bbc #tardis #time and time again

[nkp1981]

Epilogue of a story with an angry cook named Joe and a quiet book nerd named Nicky

Part 5 can be read here: https://bit.ly/37J57Py

Part 1 can be read here: https://bit.ly/2TuJ5aQ

Even in his sleep Joe knew the way, and it was normally one of the first things he did in the morning. Making his way to Nicky’s tomb and sitting up against the tombstone for a bit no matter the weather. “So, I finally finished the last bit last night.” Joe said tired and looked at the paper, he was holding in his hands, while he thought back at the events that had unfolded the last couple of years.

Andy had been kind enough to let Joe stay with her after the funeral until he was ready to go back to the apartment again. Joe had just sat still in the corner most of the time holding on to the sweater, that still smelled like Nicky. “I think I'm ready.” Joe said on the tenth day and looked at Andy, who nodded. “Should I go with you?” She offered and even though Joe knew, she meant it well, he knew, that it was something, he needed to do alone. “I’ll call you.” Joe replied as the last thing, before he started to take one of the longest walks in his life.

It took Joe some time before he opened the front door, where the eerie silence hit him as the first thing, and it was with heavy steps that he made his way to the library. He looked around the room and sat down on the sofa, where he couldn’t hold back the tears again, but when he wanted to make an escape from the library, he knocked over one of the bookstacks, Nicky had made. “Sorry.” Joe said, but realized once again, that he was alone and started to pick up the books in the hope he could make the stack just like Nicky had done. When he picked up the last book a piece of paper and the picture of the house in Genova fell out from it, and when Joe picked it up, he sat down on the sofa once again with the paper over places Nicky wanted to see, that he had only read about in books, and the picture in his hands. After staring at it for a bit, Joe knew what he had to do. He looked at the clock, and since he didn’t want to wake Le Livre in the middle of the night, he went into the rooms with all the boxes, and started to sort out in them. He made two stacks: what he wanted to keep and what could be donated to charity. When he was finish, he called the nearest charity shop, so they could pick up the stuff, while he once again made his way back to the library and started to search for the five books on Nicky’s list:

'The Magic Mountain' by Thomas Mann, 'Death on the Nile' by Agatha Christie, 'The Black Book' by Orhan Pamuk, 'Midnight’s Children' by Salman Rushdie, 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' by Ernest Hemingway

When Joe had found the books, he put them in his backpack together with the sweater. Then he started to pack the entire library down in the empty boxes and wrote ‘Genova’ on them. The only time he got interrupted was when the people from the charity shop came to collect the stuff. “This is almost too much.” One of the women said, when they saw it. “I don’t need it, so if you can get something out of it, you can have it.” Joe replied and left them to clear the room, while he packed his own clothes in the backpack.

“Sorry for your loss.” Le Livre said, when Joe called him. “I need you to do something for me.” Joe replied and told Le Livre what he needed. “Are you sure you want to sell the apartment? I mean you can rent it out and earn some money on it until you're back again.” Le Livre said, but it didn’t interest Joe at all, because he knew that he wanted to live somewhere else. “Just get it done. That’s what I pay you for. And thanks.” Joe replied and ended the call. Then he picked up the backpack and looked around the apartment one last time to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. “I promise you, Nicky, that I will get it done for you.” Joe said as the last thing, before he closed the door to the library and left the apartment for good.

Joe had five things he needed to do before leaving New York for a time. The first two was to make sure, that those places, he had met and visit with Nicky wouldn’t be gone, when he returned in the future, so he bought the two diners, and gave the deeds to Nile and Gina with the only condition, that they should have talk together, and that they always could reach him through Le Livre if they needed anything. They both promised him it.  

The third thing was to visit the spot Nicky had shown him, and stayed there until nightfall.

The fourth thing was to talk with Andy about his plans. “You’re welcome to join me.” Joe offered her. “No, that’s a trip you have to make alone, Joe.” Andy replied and gave him a hug. “I thought you would say that, so see this as the last gift from Nicky.” Joe said and handed her an envelope. “Nicky told me that you always wanted to become a Doctor, but because you didn’t have the money for it, you settled with becoming a nurse. This should get you through medical schools and if you need anything, you just call Le Livre or me.” Joe explained and Andy pulled him in for another hug. “Thanks to you both.” She muttered and looked at the papers for medical school. “Don’t mention it, but keep an eye on Nicky for me until I'm back next year.” Joe said and picked up his backpack. “I promise you.” Andy replied and watched as Joe got into a taxi through the window.

The fifth thing was to visit Nicky’s grave, where Joe placed a hand on the marble stone on the wall. “I promise to come back and get you home, but I need to make this trip first, and I got a plan, so you also are with me in every step I make. Andy will keep an eye on you as always.” Joe said and closed his eyes. “I love you!” He said as the last thing, before he walked towards the waiting taxi, but before he got into it, he looked back briefly and as the taxi drove off, he cried silently.

Joe spent the next year traveling to those five places that were described in those five books. He had decided to bury each of the books at a spot that overlooked the different cities, since Nicky had loved the skyline. It wasn’t an easy thing to do but with every new city, Joe felt a bit better, but he still missed Nicky terribly.

On his last night in Cairo Joe sat down in the chair at the balcony, while he absent mindedly played with their wedding rings, when Le Livre called him. “The house is ready for you. Sorry it took so long but they work at a different pace in Italy.” He complained. “And the permissions?” Joe wanted to know. “I got it in my hands, and I’ll email it tonight, so you won’t have any problems in the airports or else you call me if needed.” Le Livre replied sounding proud as always when he had done something for Joe. “Thanks for everything.” Joe said grateful. “Don’t mention it.” Le Livre replied and ended the call. When Joe was packing his backpack it was Andy, who called. “Are you still coming?” She wanted to know. “Yeah, and everything is ready, so we can take Nicky home.” Joe replied. “I hope that you will tell me more about your secret plans when you get here. I’ll text you the address.” Andy said as the last thing. She had been working somewhere north of New York the last couple of months.

Joe then took the sweater and sat down once again on the balcony. “We’re going home, love. And yes, I’ve thought about Andy.” Joe said out loud. He didn’t mind if people thought he were odd for having, what to them seemed like half conversations, but they meant everything to him, because he could still hear Nicky.

The first thing Joe did, when he landed in New York was to visit Nicky’s grave and placed a hand on the marble stone and closed his eyes. “As promised, I came back and I’m not leaving New York without you. Just gonna get Andy and we’ll be on our way.” Joe whispered and stood like that, while he thought back on the days in the library. Before driving north. Joe also made a stop at the spot to look at the skyline once again.

“Joe!” Andy said happy when she saw him and gave him a hug. “Hey, how are you doing?” Joe asked and leaned up against the car. “Better now that you’re here. Listen, I still got an hour left at work, so why don’t you take a walk around the park?” Andy asked and told Joe to just follow the path to his right and he would end up back at the car.

When Joe reached a meadow, he saw children playing and sat down on a bench for a moment to enjoy the sun. Suddenly he heard a noise behind him and thought first it was an animal, but when he heard a cry, he took a closer look and found a little boy in the thornbush, who was caught amongst the branches. “Someone is having a bad day.” Joe said with a smile and picked up the boy, who stopped crying the moment he sat on Joe’s arm and nuzzled into his shoulder, before Joe started to walk down towards the children in the hope of finding the boy’s mother. “Are you missing a child?” Joe asked the first woman, he saw. “Oh, thanks. That boy is always ending up in troubles.” She replied and shook her head, but when she wanted to take the boy, he held on to Joe, while turning his head away, but when she took him anyway, he started to cry. When Joe took his hand to comfort him, he saw that he had a bracelet on with a name, which made him smile, but before he could ask more about it the women had gone over to the group.

“I was starting to think that you were lost.” Andy joked. “Sorry, something caught my attention. Do you know anything about a group of children?” Joe wanted to know. “They’re from the orphanage, why?” Andy asked, but Joe didn’t give her an answer. “What do you say, we get something to eat, before we’re heading back?” Joe suggested. “Sounds like an idea, but only if you finally tell me about your secret plans.” Andy replied and Joe promised her it.

They found a diner in the town, but Joe, who hadn’t been really hungry, since Nicky had died ordered some fries, while Andy took the burger. They ate in silence, because Joe had drifted into his thoughts again, and Andy knew, he still was grieving in a different way, than she did, so she let him be, while she thought about, how to keep her promise to Nicky about never leaving Joe alone again. “Did it help? I mean with the traveling.” She wanted to know after she had eaten and placed a hand over his. “In a way yes but I need you to take the last part of the journey with me.” Joe replied and handed her a photo. “You bought the house. That’s what you meant about bringing Nicky home.” Andy said with a smile before handing Joe back the photo. “I’m bringing us all home, Andy. When you’re finished with the university, there will be a house waiting for you, because I’ve also bought every piece of land adjacent to the house Nicky loved. You find a spot you love, and I get it built. If it’s something, you want.” Joe replied not taking his eyes off the photo. “Thanks, I’ll make sure then, that you don’t turn into one of those strange hermits!” Andy joked and got a smile from Joe before they drove back to New York.

When they reached Genova, they buried Nicky’s urn in a spot that overlooked the town, before they sat down next to the grave. “Nicky would have loved you for doing this.” Andy said. “I hope so, Andy.” Joe replied. “What’s your plans now? I mean, I’ve still got some years left at the university before I can move out here.” Andy wanted to know. “I’ll show you, when I return to New York for the last time to get Nicky’s exam papers. The university has granted Nicky his bachelor’s in literature posthumous.” Joe replied and Andy knew that she wouldn’t get an answer out of Joe right now.

A noise from behind brought Joe back to reality. “Finally found it, daddy.” A little boy shouted with a big smile on his face. Joe had adopted the little boy, he had found in the thornbush back then, and he remembered the day he picked him up from the orphanage. The boy was sitting in the corner, where he was exploring the content of a potted plant by throwing soil out over it all. “Hey, remember me?” Joe asked and kneeled behind the boy, who first looked angry at Joe for leaving him behind, but after a couple of seconds the boy crawled over to Joe with a big smile and nuzzled into Joe’s shoulder once again, when he sat on Joe’s arm. “I’m never gonna leave you behind again.” Joe promised the boy. When Joe had taken the boy to visit Andy, she first thought that it was a joke, but then Joe handed her the bracelet with the boy’s name on it. “Incredible, you found another Nicky.” Andy said surprised and took the boy, who placed his chubby small hands on her face. “Actually, he found me.” Joe replied and told her about the boy in the thornbush.

“Are you sure it’s the right one this time?” Joe asked with a laughter in his voice. “I’m, look.” Nicky replied proud over, that he had finally found the right stone and gave Joe it, so he could take a closer look at it. “A mighty fine one. I think that he would love it.” Joe said and gave Nicky the stone back with a smile and watched as the boy placed the stone amongst the other stones he had found on the tomb. “I’m hungry.” Nicky said and tilted his head. “So am I and we better get a hurry on, so you won’t be late for school again.” Joe replied and watched as Nicky ran towards the house. “Be back soon, love.” Joe said as the last thing and placed a hand on the tombstone, before catching up with Nicky. “I want to fly.” Nicky said and Joe laughed. “Ok, but only two flights.” He suggested. “Three. It’s after all Friday.” Nicky begged and Joe gave in and threw him up in the air three times, before letting Nicky ride on his shoulders the rest of the way. “So, what do you want for breakfast?” Joe wanted to know. “Figs.” Nicky replied and looked down at Joe with a smile. “Seriously, you also got that yesterday and the day before that. What about eggs?” Joe asked and lifted him down on the porch. “No figs, daddy. Stop teasing me.” Nicky replied and ran towards the kitchen, where he crawled up on a chair. “Never gonna happen, but maybe Andy will help you to find a way to make me stop teasing you, when she gets here next week.” Joe said, while finding the figs and some honey. “Can’t wait. I do miss her.” Nicky replied and took the fig. “Me too, kiddo. Me too.” Joe said and found some cereal in the cupboard.

After getting Nicky to school on time for once, Joe returned to the tomb to sit there a bit, while he finished his drawings. “I already know, what you’re gonna say, when I tell you, that I got close to yelling at my drawing teacher yesterday.” Joe said with a smile, before he found some coal in the box.

my creation

#nicolo di genova #nicky #luca marinelli #yusuf al-kaysani #joe #yusuf x nicolo #marwan kenzari #joe x nicky #the old guard

[jrubalcaba]

Can’t Help Falling In Love - Ch. 25

Can't Help Falling In Love Chapter 25 - A Steve x OFC fanfiction

author: jrubalcaba

featuring: OFC Evelyn “Evie” Rogers x Steve Rogers

word count: 3911 words

rating: PG

warnings: nightmare, medical emergency, scary shit

A/N: Thanks to @suz-123 for letting me write for Alice and thanks to @celeb-fest for being my beta.

Can anybody spot the guest appearance in this chapter? 

Day 250: I was still on lockdown, but I couldn’t complain. I had brought this upon myself. Tomorrow was Christmas, my favorite holiday, and I don’t think I’ll be able to celebrate with everyone.

Steve came in our room, a plate of cookies and a glass of milk in his hands. Since I’ve been on bed rest, he has only spoken to me when asking what I wanted to eat. Which, I totally understand, but that was almost two months ago. I haven’t even heard an ‘I love you’ from him in quite some time, and that hurt the most. But, to be completely honest, I was still afraid of him, so the limited contact I had with him was fine with me.

“I brought some cookies and milk for you,” he stated, setting them down on my nightstand.

“Okay,” I mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

“Alright Evie, what’s wrong now?” he snapped, sitting down across from me. I looked up at him and sighed.

“Nothing, honest. I’m just afraid to do or say anything ‘cause I don’t want to make you mad again,” I whispered. He frowned, a guilty look crossing his face.

“I scared you?” he asked quietly.

“Steve, I have never been afraid of you before. Not when we met, not after I saw the Siberia footage,” I rattled off. “Possibly a tiny bit after Jersey, but now? After the counter? I’m fucking terrified.” I started to cry then, glad to finally get this off my chest. He scooted around, wrapping me in his arms and squeezing me.

“Evie, baby, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just so upset that you were in such bad shape.” He rocked us back and forth a bit. “I was actually more upset with myself for not realizing that you were hiding something from me.” I sagged against him, crying even more.

“I’m sorry for keeping it from you,” I wailed. “I just didn’t want you to worry about me.” He rubbed my back, trying to get me to calm down.

“Evie, sweetheart, you need to relax or-” he was cut off as I cried out in agony, arching my back. He helped me ride out the pain of an arm or leg pushing against my ribs. Once it had gone, I slumped back against my pillows, drained. “It’s getting worse, huh?”

“Steve, I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s like I’m being kicked apart from the inside.” Tears started to fall again as I glanced down at my stomach, the dark colors showing through my nightshirt. “And labor will be even worse. I’m not gonna survive it.” His hand came up and cradled my cheek, concern written in every line of his face.

“You’ll get through it, I promise. I can’t do this without you, baby,” he whimpered, shedding a few tears too. I reached out and wiped them away.

“You shouldn’t be crying. Strong men like you don’t cry,” I chastised, trying to steer the conversation down a lighter path. He smiled, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Well, I’m only as strong as my queen, and right now she’s a helluva lot stronger than me.” Fucking sweet talker. I giggled, running my fingers through his beard.

“Yeah well your queen wants some cookies,” I retorted. He reached over and grabbed the plate, setting it on the bed between us. “Are these store bought or did Alice make these?” He rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting my eyes.

“Store bought. Alice didn’t feel like baking cookies without you, so she took a trip.” I sighed.

“I hate the fact that I’ve missed out on so much since October. Becca’s first time trick or treating, Thanksgiving with the rest of the Team, and now I’m gonna miss out on Christmas with everyone too.” He placed a hand on my belly, rubbing it lightly. “I know it’s for a good reason, but it still sucks.” We finished the cookies and went to bed.

The next morning, I was woken up by a cold nose in my face. “Howie stop,” I grumbled. Another nose joined in, and I realized the first nose must have been Hunter’s. “Hunter, Howie, knock it off.”

Wait a minute…

My eyes shot open and I sat up. Bucky, Alice and Becca were at the foot of our bed, smiling. I looked over and Steve was smiling at me too.

“Were you all just standing there, waiting for me to wake up?” I asked, kinda creeped out. They laughed before shaking their heads.

“I figured we could do Christmas up here, or we could all go downstairs and sit around the tree,” he offered. I bit my lip, not sure what to say.

“Steve, you know I have to stay in bed. Doctor’s orders,” I reminded him. He chuckled, kissing me.

“I know. I think you can sit on the couch though, and not be breaking the rules,” he teased, winking.

“Alright, fine,” I conceded.

“Great! You guys head downstairs and I’ll help Evie get ready and bring her down,” Steve told them. The four of them left, while Steve took me to our closet and helped me get dressed. Once we were done, he carried me down the stairs. He set me down so I could walk in, letting me cling to his arm.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” I gasped in shock as I saw the whole Team standing in the living room. I looked to Steve and he grinned widely.

“You didn’t really think I would let you miss out on spending your favorite holiday with everyone, did you?” he asked, leading me to Bruce who enveloped me in his arms.

The rest of the day was amazing. I got to visit with everyone and have a wonderful time. Everyone had gotten something for the baby, so we had plenty of stuff to sort through later. Since we haven’t told anyone the gender, we got stuff for both, with receipts to return what we didn’t need.

There was so much food that we honestly couldn’t find room in our fridge for all of it, so we had to put some in Bucky and Alice’s. All too soon though everyone had to leave, which I was grateful for because I was hurting all over. All the excitement had taken a toll on me. After bidding the Barnes family goodnight, Steve carried me up to our room and I fell asleep at once.

The next few weeks flew by and suddenly, my due date was a week away. I was in nesting mode, and poor Steve was paying for it. I was having him carry me all over the house so I could clean everything. I tried my best to ignore the compulsion, but it wasn’t happening. I was even detailing all of the vehicles in my desperation to get everything ready for the birth. Nothing was off limits.

Steve’s POV

Evie’s due date is getting closer, which means that my anxiety is through the roof. She’s so weak all the time, and it’s all my fault. I got her pregnant, it’s my demon spawn that’s draining her of everything. How can she still stand to be with me, when I’ve done all of this to her?

When she showed me the bruises, evidence that I can hurt her, albeit indirectly, I snapped. Seeing the proof that she was literally being beaten apart from the inside shook me to my core. I never meant any of this to happen to her. All I wanted was to be with her and protect her from anything that could hurt her. Little did I know that I was going to be the one to put her in harm’s way.

It was a week until the due date as we were getting ready for bed. Well, I was. Evie never leaves the bed unless I help her, so all she was doing was getting comfortable. I stripped down to my t-shirt and boxers before snuggling up next to her.

“Night, baby. Love you,” I murmured in her ear.

“Night. Love you too,” she replied sleepily before soft snores began to come from her. I felt my hand being kicked, so I moved it before it woke her up. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come, glad when it finally did.

***************

The mission didn’t take very long, but I missed Evie something fierce regardless. My truck wasn’t even off before I was opening the door, eager to see her. As I walked through the walkway, I was met by Bucky, who looked like he was about to be sick.

“Buck, what’s wrong?” I asked, looking around for the cause of his discomfort. “Is Evie okay?” He ducked his head, avoiding my eyes. “Bucky, what the hell happened?!” I shouted, grabbing his shirt and shaking him slightly. When he still didn’t answer, I threw him out of my way, running through the house and up the stairs to our bedroom, passing members of the Team. Helen, Bruce, Alice, and Dr. Davidson were waiting at my bedroom door, looking morose. Helen and Davidson were glancing around like they were lost, their faces turning white when they saw me. Alice was sobbing into Bruce’s chest, while he looked like he’d never be happy again.

“Steve…” he croaked as I walked up. Alice, hearing my name, looked up, her face covered in tears. She stretched out her hand, collapsing into me when I reached her.

“Oh god, Steve!” she wailed, fresh tears falling. I looked around, trying to figure out what had happened, even though I had a sinking feeling I already knew. I pushed her away, walking through my bedroom door and freezing in my tracks.

There was blood everywhere.

On the bed, the floor, everywhere but where it should have been, inside of my wife.

Evie.

She was still on the bed, eyes wide open, staring but no longer seeing. Her shirt was stained red, torn open over her stomach.

Her stomach, which looked oddly deflated, but ripped apart, clearly the exit wound where all of her blood flooded out of her.

I approached our bed, not able to breathe without smelling the stench of blood and death. I glanced down and saw a tiny, blanket-wrapped bundle. As I got closer, I could see the tiniest little fingers poking out, and it was at that moment I knew that I was alone.

Evie was gone, and so was our future.

I fell to my knees, numb. After some time, minutes, hours, days, I wasn’t sure, but I felt a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me.

“Steve?” Buck’s voice was so quiet, even I had trouble hearing him. “Steve, I’m so sorry. We weren’t home.” He took a deep breath, trying not to cry. “I promised you I’d keep her safe and I failed. I’m so sorry.” He lost it then, unable to remain strong.

Why was he crying? It’s not like it was Alice who was gone. Alice was safe and sound...and alive.

Evie wasn’t.

Evie was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

My family was gone, again. I had no one, but now, I couldn’t even count on Bucky, because he had promised to keep Evie safe, but he didn’t. I stood slowly, turning to glare at him before punching him.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” I screamed at him. “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER SAFE! SHE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!” He tried to defend himself, but I got the upper hand, my anger and sorrow fueling my rage.

I took down S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA for him, became a fugitive and left the love of my life behind for him, and for what? So he could have the happy ending? What about me?

We continued to fight each other, but he wasn’t really fighting. I didn’t care, especially when we slipped and fell into a puddle of Evie’s blood. That enraged me even more, causing me to grab for his throat so I could choke the life from him.

“Do it, Steve. I deserve it. I didn’t keep her safe,” he gasped as I applied more force. “You kept Alice safe for me, but I couldn’t keep Evie safe for you.” I watched my best friend take his last breath with my hands around his throat. 

His life for hers.

*****************

I woke with a start, looking around and seeing that I was laying in bed, Evie fast asleep next to me. I listened for a moment and heard the heartbeats that have become the most amazing sound in the world to me, showing that my family was alive and safe. Relief flooded my body, allowing me to relax and find sleep once again.

Evie’s POV

I was woken up in the middle of the night by an enormous amount of pain. Something was pushing against my ribs, and I couldn’t breathe.

“Steve,” I gasped, shaking his shoulder. He barely moved, so I shook him as hard as I could. “STEVE!” He finally woke up, looking at me in annoyance.

“What’s wrong Evie?” he grumbled, closing his eyes.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I was so irritated that I punched him. That woke him up proper.

“Evie what the hell was that for?” he cried, sitting up. I glared up at him, gritting my teeth.

“There’s something wrong. I have feet in my ribs, and it feels like they’re about to break,” I sobbed. He really woke up then.

“Fuck. Do we need to go to the Tower? Do you think this is it?” He sounded so scared, and truth be told, I was too.

“I think we should go. Rather be safe than sorry,” I huffed, out of breath. He nodded before getting out of bed, putting on a pair of jeans and his shoes. He then helped me out of bed and down the stairs. We saw that Alice, Bucky, and Becca were awake and watching some animated movie in the theatre. We went to walk in, but my stomach suddenly contracted, knocking the wind out of me as I fell to the floor.

“Evie!” Steve yelled as he fell to his knees to try and catch me. Alice and Bucky ran to meet us, worry all over their faces. “Baby are you okay?” I was trying to catch my breath, but there was too much movement inside me to allow it. “Evie?”

“Hold on,” I rasped. Another contraction started, and I tensed up, holding my breath so I wouldn’t scream and scare Becca.

“Is she in labor?” Bucky asked Steve.

“Not sure. She woke up with feet trying to push her ribs apart and now she’s having contractions. We’re probably gonna head to the Tower just in case,” he explained.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Alice asked, bouncing Becca in her arms.

“If you want,” he answered her. “Buck, do you mind to help me carry her to the car? I’d do it alone, but it would be easier with help.” Bucky nodded, bending down to grab my left arm and put it around his neck, with Steve doing the same with my right. They hoisted me up and took me to the garage, loading me in the back with Steve, Becca in the middle and Alice and Bucky up front, the latter driving. We peeled out, and luck was on our side, because the highway was empty, so Buck was able to floor it.

The whole way there, I was having contractions, each one worse than the last. I also wasn’t feeling well, but I chalked that up to the amount of pain I was being put through. Thanks to Bucky’s lead foot, we got to the Tower in record time. After he parked, Bucky got out and helped Steve carry me to the elevator with Alice and Becca bringing up the rear.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, get us to Dr. Davidson now. Evie is in trouble,” Steve commanded.

“Of course Captain Rogers,” the AI complied as the elevator zoomed up to the medical floors.

“Ohhh,” I moaned as contractions continued. A sudden gush flooded my pants, dribbling down my legs.

“I think her water just broke,” Alice pointed out. Thank god.

The doors opened and we all filed out, heading straight to Dr. Davidson’s office. He met us at the door and directed us to the birthing suite. Bucky and Steve laid me on the bed and helped me get settled before nurses came, hooking me up to multiple machines and getting me ready to give birth. Dr. Davidson and Steve were off to the side, discussing what was going to be happening from here on out, but I wasn’t really paying attention. The contractions were getting stronger and I wasn’t feeling the best.

“Evie?” Dr. Davidson called. I opened my eyes and searched for him, finding him to my right with Steve next to him. “Evie, we’re going to finish getting you hooked up, and then we’re going to get this show on the road, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Doc,” I slurred as another contraction came on. Bucky, Alice and Becca went to sit on the couch while Steve came over and held my hand. I looked up at him, ready for this to be over. “I don’t wanna do this again. Please don’t make me,” I begged. He shook his head.

“Don’t worry. We’re done after this. We can adopt if we really want more kids,” he promised. Dr. Davidson came over then, pulling stirrups out for my feet.

“Alright Evie, this is all on you kiddo. Push when you feel a contraction,” he instructed. I nodded, grabbing Steve’s other hand ‘cause there was one coming. I bore down, feeling movement going in the right direction. “Good job, Evie. Keep going.” I was feeling worse with each contraction, but I knew that I was almost done, so I kept on pushing. I could feel this burning sensation, but I wanted to get it over with. “Head is crowning. Keep going you’re doing great Evie.” I pushed some more, the burning intensifying. “Head’s out! One more push and it’s here!” Davidson coached. I pushed once more and felt the baby slide the rest of the way. “It’s a boy! Time of birth, 4:13 a.m.” I was in so much pain, but it was so worth it. “Steve cut the cord.” I released Steve’s hand so he could grab the scissors and cut where Kevin pointed. One of the nurses used a bulb to suck some junk out of his mouth and then he cried.

Oh my lord. That sound was even better than hearing his heartbeat. Another contraction came, effectively distracting me.

“Okay Evie, one down, one to go.” I bore down again, ignoring the yells of shock from Bucky and Alice. More burning, more pushing. “Head’s almost out.” I pushed again, knowing I was almost there. “Come on Evie. One more push and you’re done!” I summoned every bit of strength I had and gave one last push, and it was all over. “She’s out! Time of birth 4:15 a.m.” Steve cut our daughter’s cord before I heard her start to cry. I slumped back against the pillow, everything fading to black before I had even seen my children.

Steve’s POV

I finished cutting my daughter’s cord before looking over at Evie. The joy on my face vanished as I watched her eyes roll into the back of her head and her body go limp. In an instant, Dr. Davidson and his nurses were pushing me out the way so they could work on her. Two nurses were with the twins, getting them cleaned up, weighed and measured.

Finally, after a few moments, Dr. Davidson came to me, looking somewhat relieved.

“Captain Rogers, I’ve got good news and bad news. Good news is, we got Evie stable. Bad news is, she’s hemorrhaging, so she needs blood,” he explained to me. I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Give her whatever she needs! You don’t need my permission, just do it!” I shot back in disbelief. I can’t believe he was so calm about my wife’s life hanging in the balance.

“Captain, I will, don’t worry. There’s just a slight issue that I have to address with you first.” Bucky and Alice walked and stood next to me then, curious as to what was going on.

“Okay, Kevin, just tell me what needs to happen so my children don’t end up motherless,” I snapped at him. He scoffed at me, clearly not appreciating my brusqueness.

“She needs to have enhanced blood. It’ll help her heal faster and, she’s slowly becoming enhanced due to the sharing of blood between her and the twins across the placenta, so it would work better with her body. The problem is that, you’re not a match for her.”

“Well then, see if we are,” Alice butted in then.

“Yeah, check us out,” Bucky agreed. Davidson nodded.

“Alright, follow Suzannah here and she’ll get samples from you.” He gestured at the nurse beside him, who then smiled at Bucky and Alice before leading them out of the room.

I sat down at Evie’s side, afraid that if I left the room, something would happen and I wouldn’t make it to her in time. Minutes passed before Alice and then Buck came back.

“Hopefully one, if not both, of us match so we can save her,” he said, sitting next to me. I nodded, not sure what to say. Alice, however, had a bone to pick with me.

“Twins? Are you fucking serious?! How on earth did you keep that from us? Why would you keep that from us?” Without looking at her, I answered.

“Evie wanted to.” I could sense Alice’s fight leave her as the graveness of the situation came back.

After God knows how long, Davidson came back in the room, a slight smile on his face. Alice jumped up to meet him.

“Are we matches?!” she cried, desperation in her tone. He looked between her and Buck before answering.

“Miss Winters, you are not, but Sergeant Barnes is.” I felt my blood run cold.

It was my nightmare all over again.

Evie had lost so much blood already, and now Bucky had the opportunity to keep her safe by giving her what she needed to survive.

Would he, though?

Bucky stood and slowly walked to the doctor, his hands clenched in fists.

“What the fuck are you waiting for? TAKE MY DAMN BLOOD! I am not losing my sister!” he yelled. Davidson nodded before beckoning for Bucky to follow him out of the room. Alice, visibly relieved, sank into the chair next to me, reaching up to rub my back soothingly.

“He’s a match, Steve. Evie’s going to be okay!” She smiled brightly at me. All I could do was look at her before bursting into tears as I buried my face in her shoulder. Her body tensed up at my sudden display of affection, but she was soon hugging back, letting me soak her shirt.

Bucky, my best friend in the whole world, my brother, the man I took down HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D for, the man I became a fugitive for, was saving Evie’s life.

My family was safe, and it was all thanks to Bucky.

TAG LIST:

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#jrubalcaba #cant help falling in love #steve rogers #evie rogers

[atopearth]

OZMAFIA!! Part 1 - Caramia Route

Now I can know the basic gist of The Wizard of Oz without reading or watching it lolll! Yes, I have never read/watched it (EDIT: After finishing this game, I read the Wizard of Oz, it was very fun). Ooh okay, heroine is this silver hair guy’s prey huh, yeah that’s a great start to the game and her life I guess lmao. Caramia sounds like a nice guy since he caught her from falling, but he’s with the guy that tripped her so…. But I guess it’s still better than getting caught by the silver hair guy called Caesar? Maybe? Maybe not? I wonder if amnesia is common in otome games hahaha. Every time I hear about Ozmafia, people talk about Axel so I hope he’ll live up to expectations! But Caramia first! Oooh that’s why it’s called Ozmafia!? Literal mafia town?! And Caramia is the head of this Oz family? Hmmmmmm.

Yayyy! I don’t have to think of a name, that’s always the most stressful part for me lmaoo. Fuka is cute btw. Nice to be named by my current favourite boy lolol. Ooh she gets to choose which family she wants to belong to. How nice of them. Robin Hood being a doctor is a very interesting idea. I guess Fuka seems very naive and innocent? Like a little lamb, ready to be devoured by carnivorous men? LOL Axel was rather cute when he felt a bit shy after the heroine thanked him for showing her where her room was lol. The families quarrel for territory from Monday to Saturday but have declared Sunday as a day of peace? How very systematic and interesting.. Caramia looks hot in glasses btw and fyi, I love men who read! Plus points to Caramia!

Soh is a nice boy. Doesn’t like lies and is straightforward. Lmaoo at Caramia asking Axel for money and then he’s like yay, Axel is shouting us food hahaha. Actually, after seeing a close up of Axel, he looks awesome with his glasses, I like, I like! Kyrie sounds wayyy too dodgy for my liking btw lol. Axel is so subtly considerate, I love him. Hmm so Caesar is like part of the rebels that don’t agree with the rules in the town with having to belong to families etc, so I guess he’s like a criminal along with the other people in the slums and outside of the town. Axel got captured by Caesar because he was protecting Fuka? That’s not good. But it was way too reckless of her to go to Caesar herself, how dangerous. I’m happy that Axel called her an idiot for coming to sacrifice herself to hopefully exchange for Axel’s safety. But I’m also happy that he acknowledged that she did it because the Oz family took care of her so well that she couldn’t do nothing. I guess breaking the Compromise (Sunday is a day of peace) is a pretty big deal if all these families would come out to deal with it and kill some of the Wolf Gang members.. so cute how Axel really loves sweets though haha.

Lmao at Fuka thinking Scarlet was a girl hahahah. Didn’t think Soh was part of the Wolf Gang.. I like how Caramia makes breakfast for Kyrie and Fuka quite often hehe. It was really cool when Scarlet came out to protect her when she got into the feud with Gretel and Ande, although it’s true that hurting her could be pretty bad so it was natural for him to do that but it seemed like he did it because he cared for her too XD Lmaoo that one sip of alcohol of whatever Caramia drank knocked her out and he had to carry her home hahahaha. How bold of her to say she loves him while drunk lol. Not that he took it seriously.

Hmmm I feel like all the events and bonding time with the characters were so choppy and insignificant that the only thing Fuka and Caramia really shared was their time together and nothing else, so honestly, I really can’t see why they like each other besides the fact that they like the existence of someone beside them… And even that’s kinda forced because he has Axel and Kyrie to keep him company lol. Caramia’s character is rather shallow and the world itself is shallow as well even though it has such an interesting premise sigh.. the story is just like things happening in a world and it could have been anywhere because it doesn’t even really matter. And so yeah, if the guys are shallow, you can imagine how much of a blank board Fuka is. She has no particular thoughts or emotions that are relevant to the story or even to the guys! She’s never said anything about liking Caramia or particularly showing any special affection towards him so I have no idea when they ever considered each other to be the one they like. I feel like Axel and Fuka show the most affectionate emotions towards each other lol. And what about the Oz premise?! Caramia’s the lion so isn’t there going to be anything about that? Is it literally just a setting for us to have three guys? What is all this untapped potential considering this interesting world? Sigh… Also, the amount of loading screens in this game are killing me. 

I don’t know what I’d do if I ever found my future boyfriend hugging a woman near a brothel… Strangling him for the truth might be a good idea😅 how could he let her go like that so easily?! I know he’s trying to be considerate that he can’t spend much time with her but he knew that in the first place! He shouldn’t have confessed if he’s so weak willed about it! And she has the right to decide what she wants to do! She has the right to decide whether she doesn’t mind continuing to cry but trying to make this relationship work! Good that she said what I thought but really, I don’t feel like Fuka really has much emotion lol and really only does things because.. that’s her character lol. But wow, she’s really silly to go out at night to surprise Caramia considering how dangerous it is at night, poor Caramia though, he has to bear the guilt of accidentally shooting her… I don’t feel sorry for her, but I feel sorry for him… But omg, I feel like sometimes she’s so clueless and weirdly optimistic that I want to smack her, I think I’m starting to understand why people don’t like Fuka now…And this is my first route… Like, a lot of heroines are optimistic but you can see why they are in their personalities, for Fuka, she’s like this hollow shell that’s just a ball of optimism for no reason and that’s the only feeling she exudes.

I feel like the flow of the story is so haphazard, but I do have to admit that Caramia reverting back to the cowardly lion he was is hilarious, it’s so cute hahaha. How cliche that the power of love in trying to save Fuka from Hamelin got his courage back lol. Very basic route (Pure love vs Axel) and ending for this happy one lol. I guess the happy ending is when the guy overcomes his fears (which in this case is his cowardly personality) and the bittersweet ending is when he can’t overcome it but Fuka stays beside him regardless. The cowardly Caramia is pretty funny though, I mean he still went to save her from Hamelin regardless so I think that’s cool enough but seeing Caramia scared of every little thing made me couldn’t help but think he’s so adorable.

(Pure love vs Kyrie) Kinda like how this one shows Caramia consulting Kyrie on his love problems about whether he really likes Fuka or not, so it’s much easier to tell that Caramia really does like her, rather than the above where I felt like she got along with Axel more than Caramia lmao. So cute that Caramia doesn’t like baths and the heroine forced him to take one hahahha. I like how he’s trying to get used to taking baths because the heroine likes him clean hahahaha. So, does Caramia think her scent is similar to Dorothy’s? It’s good that he doesn’t think of her as a replacement haha. But lmaooo, Axel is so funny and cute, I can imagine him getting married just because he wants a giant wedding cake hahahaha. Anyway, besides the extra interactions and changing the second focus from Axel to Kyrie, the gist of the story is the same. Personally, I love Axel’s personality but in terms of story and development of Caramia and Fuka’s love, I’d say Kyrie’s one shows more of how much Caramia actually likes her or maybe it’s because I finished one route so I can see Caramia’s perspective now?

(Axel triangle) Caramia eats so much! Lmaoo at him going to to Robin because he ate 2 litres of ice cream hahahaha. HAHAHA, Axel is so cute to be that excited about Caramia’s pancakes, apparently they’re the best in town and are so fluffy! I’m jealous! It’s always kinda funny that Axel is usually so whatever and just follows orders most of the time but when it comes to sweets, he’s so adorable haha. Aww Axel is fond of cats, he’s such a softie, kinda like Caramia haha. Lmaooo at Kyrie offering Axel’s backup snacks to Fuka because she’s hungry and Axel is like no, until Kyrie says what if she starves to death. And then..omg😂 Axel gives it to her and says “please don’t die” LOLL, I’m sure she won’t die that easily Axel lmaooo. Omgg when the heroine said Axel was the most important person to her though, kyaa Axel!🤣 Chocolate river is a great idea, Axel! I’d love that! Danggg Axel can cook too, awesome! Maybe everyone can except Fuka lmao. Dorian and Caramia were talking about how a prostitute was poisoned and Dorian said he was sad that his goods was hurt so does that mean he’s the brothel owner?! But now, I see why Caramia was with a prostitute, he was trying to get info on the street slasher that’s been killing a lot of people in town and she knew some stuff about it.

OMG, I’M SO SHOCKED. I can’t believe she just did it with Axel… Like his confession was really cute and romantic but you haven’t even properly broken up with Caramia yet Fuka! You can’t just jump into another guy’s arms even if you do like him too! At least tell Caramia first! Omggg, gonna die from the drama that will ensue.. I feel so sorry for Caramia… But lining up for crepes with Axel does sound so nice…. I can understand Axel’s perspective in being careful with words and stuff though, since wounds of the heart hurt much more and cannot be seen unlike physical wounds. I thought Kyrie would be the possessive type but I guess that’s Axel lol, well at least he’s honest that he knows it’s bad but can’t help it?

I was gonna say it was so inconsiderate for Axel and Fuka to consult Caramia about Axel’s overflowing love and possessiveness towards Fuka and then Caramia got controlled by Hamelin’s music and like nearly killed Axel! Crazyyyy! And then ughhh I hate how the stories and scenes don’t flow properly, it’s like, Axel defeats Hamelin and is stuck in the fire with serious wounds but it doesn’t bother to address how he got out of that and spent the next year’s festival with Fuka. It’s like as if it never happened. Like whaaat. But anyway, I guess these love triangle routes are interesting? I mean, it’s like, you’re chasing Caramia but because your heart wavers, you end up with some other guy even though you’ve consciously been going to meet Caramia every week lollll. I don’t even know if that’s good, I’d feel so weird. But whatever I guess, Axel’s cute?

Lmaoo when he asked if she’s a cat or dog person, and that he read in a book that it’s a surefire way to start a conversation🤣🤣 I hate this triangle idea but Axel is so cute. Omggg so adorable when he asked to hold her hand because his glasses broke so he can’t seeee! There is no end to his adorableness as well, especially when he took off his glasses and said that this way, he can continue holding her hand. Like dude, how much more adorable can you get?! I’d attack him too if I was Fuka lmaoo.

(Kyrie Triangle) My heart breaks for Caramia…. He tried so hard to look normal and support her and Kyrie… Whereas Kyrie was like so intent on stealing her from Caramia from quite a while ago… At least Axel in his triangle route just wanted to make her happy and he felt that he could more than Caramia. Kyrie is just so…. inconsiderate and uncaring for Caramia’s feelings. But I see why Kyrie is interested in Fuka I guess, can’t feel the romance but I can feel that he’s bored and the mystery of her existence without being able to find traces of her past is interesting. Like where did she come from…

Hmm guess it’s kinda the same as the other triangle with Caramia being controlled by Hamelin’s flute and attacking Kyrie. It’s also nice to know that he likes her because it’s fun. He has always been a person that calculates everything ahead and is logical but when he’s with her, he can’t predict what she would do and how reckless she would be next I guess lmao. Not sure if that’s good but cool lol.

I like Kyrie’s story about when he was a scarecrow though! It’s kinda cute that he’s got two different eye colours and the right one always changes depending on his mood (guess he’s like a mood ring lolol) because, back when he was a scarecrow the old man who made him didn’t put his hat on properly and rain kept washing away his painted eye, but the old man would always repaint it making it different colours lol. But now I understand why he always wears gloves and a hat! I kept thinking why does he when it’s so awkward and ugly lmao. There was a proper reason! I apologise. I’m surprised Fuka is so terrible at cooking though, it’s probably a talent in itself.

Wow, Fuka said she wanted peace in this town and Kyrie interpreted it as him might as well lessening the amount of mafia families, so basically the less families, the less conflict and that will create peace. Not sure if that’s what she meant Kyrie but whatever rolls for you I guess. Aaand it ended abruptly lol. I think the biggest problem I have with Ozmafia is how choppy and unconnected the scenes are from each other, it really doesn’t flow well at all and you really lose your bearings on what’s happening because of it, and the dreaded loading screen too of course lol.

Anyway, I feel like for more bits and pieces to come together, you have to read the different routes but since the story isn’t very detailed or good anyway, it doesn’t matter lol. I’d just recommend pure love vs Kyrie for Caramia’s story. I think that was the nicest one. Otherwise if you don’t mind the guys “stealing” Fuka from Caramia, Axel triangle route is adorable. I honestly don’t want to do the triangle routes too much because it makes me feel uncomfortable seeing the guy sad that Fuka goes with another guy… But I’m also a completionist so… Sigh. Anyway, Kyrie story next~ not a fan of him but let’s go!

#ozmafia