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#so i felt even UGLIER
townslore · 2 years
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drew myself cause i got a haircut today and im super happy w it ^^
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derpinette · 2 months
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i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of
#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration#just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming#the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness#eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing#what a damn chore#so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked#i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED.#i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please...#i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace#but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know#anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes#so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really#trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway...#the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever#JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess#light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings#also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL#so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me#but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace#sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general#oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body#& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks#like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman#& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC
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menalez · 6 months
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The "i wouldnt date poc women" which is firstly grammatical incorrect (people of color women) anon is so fucking stupid because exactly what is that you dont like about women of color that includes all women of color? Eye color? There woc with lighter eyes, hair texture? There are straight haired woc, nose shape? There are button nosed woc. Skin color? Lighter skinned ones. There is not a single feature that could make one exclude entires ethnicities. Only racism
i was thinking the same thing. and her claiming not to be bait while being like “oh so you want me to FUCK ~poc women~ to prove i’m not racist?”
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when i said TO HER very clearly in reply to her prior anon here:
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like maam you were told to do the opposite of “use [your] vagina as a way to combat [your] subconscious/probable racism”! the desire to frame woc as rapists who desperately want white women to fuck us to prove they’re not racist is an intentional twisting of what is actually being criticised. i said if u only find white people attractive, that probably is rooted in racism. race isn’t this clear defined constant category where you’ll never find a white person who can pass for a person of colour or never find a person of colour who can pass for a white person, it’s not a quality that is related to sexual orientation so it’s not comparable to lesbians not wanting to date males, it’s not even constant enough for there to not be a variety of features and skin colours and eye colours and hair textures within one race.
if someone said to me “i’m only attracted to pale skin”, whatever, it’s a preference and can come about from many things (tho of course there being cultures where pale skin is prioritised and viewed as more beautiful often is rooted in white supremacist beauty standards- so it’s not above questioning). if someone said “i’m really into blue eyes” that’s also whatever, tho again it could be rooted in more questionable things. if someone said “i connect at a deeper level with people from the same cultural background as me”, also whatever and makes total sense. but then when they say “i’m only attracted to white people and my genitalia only responds if someone is A Member Of The White Race” it just gets confusing like, do u mean ur only into blondes (which non-white ppl can be)? blue eyed pale ppl (which non-white ppl can be)? ppl with thinner lips (which non-white ppl can have)? what exactly does that even mean. if they’re primarily white but have some more distant non-white ancestry is it a deal breaker? if they’re not white at all but look white is that where u draw it? like it doesn’t make sense in so many ways. is her “vagina” an aryan detector or what?
and the only way she can counter me is by insisting i want white ppl to have sex with us or to look at the dating histories of white ppl to determine whether they’re racist or not despite me explicitly saying the opposite 🤭 i would actually much rather that white ppl like that figure that stuff out far, far away from us and without even trying to touch us or go on a date with us or anything else. i’d much rather they exclusively date white ppl and just stay away from us
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nuoc7mia · 2 years
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i finished the new chapter like it was my first meal in days.
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#moon talks#it went in a totally different direction but i’m glad she deviated from my expectations bc i did not want him to explode#and tbh shima isn’t the type of person to have a massive outburst anyway? i was prob just projecting on him 💀 i think it’s sweet how#perceptive mitsumi can be even if she isn’t culturally super savvy / like i was abt yo cry a bit when she said those kind words to shima#i will say tho this cleaned itself up a lot neater than i expected? i don’t feel like this is entirely over until shima is able to address#his feelings avt the roles he plays in ppl’s lives (and while mitsumi helps him realize that there is a reality where he doesn’t have to fit#a role i think it ultimately has to be him that changes smthing / also i feel like egashira wojld help him acknowledge it? since they always#felt like opposite sides of the same coin to me + their prev dynamic)#shima’s just like me tho fr#i do not have the words rn bc my midterm is tmrw but i love how he is characterized bc he’s allowed to be complicated and contradictory#edit: waitt i just read a theory abt him being jealous and i lowkey kind of agree! just for different reasons :3 i think this scene would#solidify a desire on shima’s end to hold onto mitsumi as the first person who liked him without pretences and bc his act doesn’t work anymor#the insecurities sprout faster + combine that w her other growing friendship w the vice pres and you could *potentially* get smthing uglier#not saying that i’m wishing for him to be vindictive or want jealousy in regards to romance i just think thaf it’s a v normal response esp#for someone like shima who grounds a lot of his self worth in how he can appease others#and smthing this manga does RLY well is establish the fact that bad/negative behaviors and emotions do not go away easily—that it takes time#adn effort to be able to change for the better#ppl here on tumblr are so big brained sometimes LOL i didn’t rlly think abt jealousy arc until i saw the post / just that there needs to be#a bigger catalyst for things yo change bc this isn’t rlly new w mitsumi
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erggggggggg · 9 months
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i need my brain to get its shit together and go back to my normal (which is still bad but better than this) because i can’t handle how my brain is acting right now
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mirialan · 10 months
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You ever just think about how when you were younger, fitter and hotter that no one ever thought you were worthy enough to stick around with and give you love, but now you're older, fatter and uglier so if people didn't love you before how the hell are you going to find someone to love you now?
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lundenloves · 4 months
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“ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ” ¹
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≔ in which simon’s son enlists behind his back. ceramics are smashed, threats are thrown and feelings are hurt behind nonchalant expressions.
⤷ *return of the mac in the background* i wasn’t really sure which route to go down with this so i just blind wrote it. if you don’t agree with any of the following actions or words, keep it to yourself because i really do not care. it’s been a long hibernation, troops.
∷ warnings of abusive dynamics if you squint but mainly just unnerving silence and abrupt shouting | 2.3k
masterlist | dad!simon masterlist | taglist | request info
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Eight thirty. 
Three hours into Simon’s habitually quiet morning routine with the rising sun pouring keenly through the kitchen window, and sparrows chirping a little too loud — the mail had slid through the door.
A modest fall of envelopes, taking each one with a crease between his brows after sifting through them, eyes glossing over each addressee while walking to the kitchen table with the stack. He liked it this way. He liked the known, finding a specific comfort in knowing that the mail would come on the same dot every, single, day. 
Not that there was ever anything special. Only the usual, clubcard points, screwfix leaflets, disgusting bank statements and various military envelopes on his current pension plan. Christ. 
He sat down, pulling a lip upward to disregard more than half of his own mail, tossing it to the counter behind him for the bin. “What a load of shit.” Came a grumble, kissing his teeth at the mere £3.40 discount he had received for spending over £300 in Tesco. 
Though the pending sigh was lost for a singular stand out letter. One he seemed to still over, chest dipping in regret. Regret for nothing in particular, only a sinking feeling for the familiar Be The Best motto cast upon the right side of one envelope — different to his Who Dares Wins slogan. The envelope wasn’t for him. 
The birds hadn’t paused their songs, an ambient morning now fuelling a slow anger. An inter boiling one, but for now simmering with long breaths. In and out. His shoulders broke inward with large palms leant on the counter, craning his neck side to side to release placebo tension. 
The letter mocked him. A bit of paper that had permanently strained something, “Fucking hell, son.” He picked it up, flipping it backward to frontward as if the writing would change. As if his son's name would disappear from under the window of the envelope. Though it didn’t, and the paper was slid to the depth of the counter, prompting Simon to rub at his bottom lip.
It took three minutes of silence before he was being followed downstairs by his son. Few words exchanged, and surprisingly fewer questions. They both knew, and tension had already built, bringing Simon’s anger to a heavier simmer. The prior efforts of calmness were obliterated at the sight of the kitchen once more, the pad of his foot tapping against the vinyl flooring.
“What the fuck is this?” The letter was slid across the counter, branded and bred in the British military with the familiar crest proud in the top right. It looked sinful, like something exposing, illegal even. The boy's stare was one of tiredness, palms flat on the kitchen counter to stare down at the envelope on the oak.
Fatigue hadn’t quite left his eyes, squinted in the bright dawn. “What’s what?”
Though his words were met with silence and the birds chirping outside seemed wrong. The moment had forced a thicker, uglier tension into the room, and his son rounded the counter to pick up the letter. Brash and pasted, once again, in military branding. 
His eyes fell to his father. 
A picture of disappointment, veiled with frustration through a glare, one so strong it almost felt off-putting. Stress seemed evident via the way his hand had pushed toward the back of his neck, running upward and down the front of his face. 
“What is it?” The same question, though this time quiet and sincere. His eyes had regrettably softened for all of two seconds before a leg had begun bouncing in compromise after taking a seat in pre-ceasefire. 
“Nothing.” A teenage mumble. 
Simon laughed dryly, shaking his head with a palm flat on the counter. “This.” He raised his hand, now only the tips of his fingers on the letter. “This isn’t nothing.” Eyes catching his mirror image, a lanky eighteen year old with next to no muscle. It was devastating, really.
“It’s just mail.” 
“Open it.” A stern command, standing up and boring his eyes further into the boy before him. His height and build was much more significant, effectively towering over the six foot kid with all of his broadness.
“It’s none of your business, like.” The croaked words of a voice just woken were ones Simon raised brows at. 
“Anything with that crest is my business.” 
The similarities between his younger self and the boy before him was something Simon internally hated. He hated that his son had genetically taken not only his originally scrawny, defenceless build but also his raging attitude and temper issues. Dark eyes and accompanying circles, a rare smile and sigh of laughter.
Though not one bone had been broken in his body, his nose wasn’t squinted from various punches and his skin hadn’t been plagued by scars of battle. Something Simon could always draw a line between, though, he no longer held that power. 
The kid begrudgingly opened the letter, hunching shoulders inward as if to shield it from his father. A congratulatory letter, one addressed to his name in bold letters with an offer to train at the military academy for a reserved cadetship upon completion. 
The silence was loud. 
Simon knew what it was before it had been opened. His fingers pinched at the bridge of his nose, and rubbed at his temples. “Fucking hell mate.” A deep breath was taken, chest puffing out with the inhale. “Fuck sake.” 
His son felt like a child again, small and inwardly anxious for his fathers reaction. Not that Simon was ever violent, not ever, but he was a different kind of frightening. Silent. He gave you the option to take whatever you’d wanted from his step back, though fiery eyes only pushed you down one slope. Anxiety and paired overthinking, it came as part and parcel of the Riley name. 
“I was goin’t tell you.” 
Another laugh escaped Simon, “At what point?” The side of his lip curved upward, though there was no real amusement. “Look at me.”
There was a scoff from his son in response, shaking his head with eyes locking back to the letter. Ink printed in gratification. “Nothin’ to do with you though is it?” The second part came as a mumble for the internal struggle to hold back aggression. Though it slipped through, naturally. 
“What did I say? Fuckin’ hell.” Simon growled, taking the envelope from the boy and skim-reading it. “Right.” He cleared his throat. “The fifth, next month, yeah?” Eyes flicking to his son who had shrugged, slinking off behind Simon to look through cupboards in evident dismissal.
“Dunno–”
“You’re out.” 
They had spoken in unison, each person cancelling the other out to create a bout of eye contact. “What?” The quirk in his lip was a giveaway of building frustration, eyes cast directly across his father who stood just taller than him. “I’m out?”
“You’re out the house.” Simon slid the letter across the counter in finality, “As soon as you leave for that camp. You’re gone.”
“What the fuck.”
“Big enough to enlist?” His tone was venomous, something his son was unable to contest. “Big enough to fucking leave.” The letter had been picked up by the kid, eyes skimming it over, eyes darting across the page while familiar anger had slowly built.
“Fuck off.” He mumbled, brows pulled together in a foul mix of annoyance and evident upset over his fathers’ dismissal. “Any other dad would be proud of that.” The letter dropped to his abdomen, two shaky hands still clutching to the torn envelope. “Not you though, yeah, not fuckin’ you. ‘Course not.”
There was a pause before a crash. 
A split decision of anger, one Simon mirrored at that age. A raging feeling of internal emotion that was only alleviated in bursts of aggression and breakage - punching holes in doors or smashing dishware. There was never a safe space to feel, therefore it came out unwillingly. 
For his son, it was a failing on his behalf as a father. That space was never created for lack of recovery had never allowed real estate. 
Multiple ceramics flown off the counter with one hand swoop, “Such a cunt.” His chest heaved and Simon’s eyes bore into his. Solemnity follows each and every moment with an unnerving silence, though it wasn’t continued when aggravated palms had landed on his chest, a teenage attempt to express.
“Don’t.” A bark, complete with snarling and a metaphorical showing of canines. A hand caught the boy's forearm, an admittedly tighter than required grip. “Don’t you fucking dare.” And for a moment, he feared he sounded like his father. 
Though he did dare. 
A rebellion as it was.
Again, a heavy palm had landed on his fathers’ chest - uncaught and if any stronger than the age of eighteen would’ve at least budged Simon. And, god, did he sound like his father with the promise of violence, a grip on his son’s shirt to hold him against the wall at the action alone.
A huff of air fell through his nose, head tilted, “If you enlist and you have this attitude,” The words were spoken through gritted teeth, eyes fixed to the wall he held the boy against to speak just above his ear. “They’ll send you right fucking back.” Though his son no longer recognised dad. This was someone else, someone he was never to meet. “Show some fucking respect.” A tone orchestrated of octaves reserved for Ghost. 
You had come down with the crash of ceramics, fully aware that Simon was in knowing of your presence by the way his grip had rid, stepping back with hands to his head. “What the fuck is going on?” You scowled at your husband who was already lighting a cigarette. 
After a short inhale, “He’s enlisting.” The smoke tumbled from his lip that turned upward to accommodate a low but amused chuckle. “He’s enlisting, lovie. Our boy.” The cigarette was then pointed to the teenager. “He’s enlisting so he can run around with a fucking rifle, kill one or two people because it's what? It’s a laugh is it? A fucking game?” Though the words were intensely directed to you, waving the smoke around before taking another inhale and shaking his head. 
“It’s not that serious, fucking-”
The words were cut off by a harsh slap of the counter and a rumble of a scold. “Not that serious?” It could only have woken the whole house and Simon ditched the cigarette to lift his shirt up, various scars and burn marks stretched across his front and back. “What's this? Eh?”
“Calm down.” You warned, or at least attempted to. 
“Calm down? He’s going to get himself fucking killed.” A bite, one without intention of ceasing. 
“You’re not dead.” The kid provided.
“I died years ago, son.” His eyes were naturally narrowed in their frustration, slow on the look-up, and shoulders tense through chest heaving. Up and down, and up and down.
The kid mirrored his fathers’ lost expressions.
“Right.” You then interrupted, placing delicate hands on the shoulders of your boy to steer him out of the room, letter still in his hands. 
“Coddle him. Tell him he’ll be fine,” The smoke from the cigarette danced around his hand, lifted back upward for a long, slow inhale, eyes burnt to your back. “That the world is a safe place and he won’t get hurt.” His voice had lowered.
But there was a mutual understanding of the lie, that nothing was fine and he wasn’t going to come out unscathed. Mentally, if not physically. 
It had bled into an argument between the two of you after, pointed fingers of accusation and bursts of tears had split from your eyes. His frustration turned into ready anger, then dismissal, refusing to believe the reality. 
“What’s your fucking issue?” Was the question you had barked once downstairs, four words that seemed obvious in their asking though Simon still quirked a brow. “There’s no need. No fucking need at all for that.” 
He shook his head, looking down at you over his cigarette while you swept up smashed ceramics. “Don’t act like you don’t know.” His voice low, cigarette mumbling the words with an inhale. 
You dropped arms to your sides, pointedly tapping the foot of the brush against the floor. “Like I don’t know what?” The accompanied scowl was one Simon’s eyes darted back and forth from, looking away out the window before tipping his cigarette. “It’s something he wants.”
“He’s going to get himself killed.”
“Ever the fucking pessimist.” 
“Once he leaves,” The cigarette was acting as punctuation, pointed toward the door in far gesture. “He’s out.” Tone unnervingly quiet. One that warned any other argument off, though not yours. 
“Do me a favour, yeah?” You continued to sweep the ceramics. “Realise this isn’t about you.” Looking up at the way he had shifted in his stance, arm now crossed over his chest to tuck under his opposing armpit. 
“Fuck—“ He laughed. “It’s not about me.”
“You just kick off immediately.” 
“Hardly.”
“The fucking state of the floor, Simon.” You scorned, raising your voice to take his attention from the mindless cigarette smoking. “He’s your son. Treat him like it.” 
“When he learns respect-”
“He doesn’t respect you for that fucking attitude. It’s a battle, let it go.”
His eyes met yours to stand down, ditching the cigarette before nodding absently. His silence was telling of an awful mood, one he would carry for the next few days if uninterrupted. 
Tension grew thicker than a rope knot dramatically fast in the Riley household, and whether granted or not, there was only the one man to blame. Walking on eggshells whenever he would come home from a bad deployment was only fit to last so long, and you couldn’t change him. 
But he didn’t want to change himself either.
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≔ unedited, and the tags probably won’t work. this is all i got and i’ll slam my fist on an ikea desk, this. is. all. i. got.
simon 'ghost' riley taglist: @vamppxncess @crowbird @tallrock35 @fluffmonster @islanderr @blueoorchid @lea3773 @coldflapjack @rayhawk05 @han11dh @melovetitties @fallonx @rvjaa @fuckmelifesucks @bhayatsara @local-spidey @konigsblog @penutjuice @babychoi03 @sheluvzeren @sparklingtragedy @maviee @wiserebelpartypie @daddylorianisastateofmind @bhayatsara @writingmysanity @johfaam0 @idkbbyx3 @gressseyy @shibble @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @hotgirlsshareaccounts @simpxinnie @cliosunshine @bloobewy @lazybutsmexy @iluvoaldmen @yyiikes @tieflingteatime @cosmoscoffee @lilvampirina @cinnabeanz @spencerreidisbae123 @paperbag-prncss @cookiecutta @sluttyforsimon @loveangelic @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen @hayleybarnesx
@bunthebunny23
song of the day (time of writing)
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breedbun · 1 month
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🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶
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zhongli/rex lapis x bottom m!reader
details: amab reader, humiliation, feminisation, size diff, public, anal, blowjob, self-indulgent, reader is an incubus, dubcon, rough, bondage, punishment, praise×degradation
minors dni 18+
do not repost 🚫
fanfic below vv
you don't remember when or how you got yourself in this mess, but god, you were not complaining. albeit the fact you're whining, crying and moaning like a slut in front of so many people, it's the fact you have never felt this fulfilled in your fucking life. vigorously being fucked like a dog, humiliated and bred like a bitch in heat. caus' of the blindfold over your eyes neatly going behind your ears, you can hear the very obvious chattering of people below the wooden surface you were on and even cameras clicking, flashing, all for you. you can't see anything, but you sure can hear and feel everything. the back of your thighs slapped against morax's, the squelching sound of his cum in your tight cunt as he consistently and violently kept thrusting into you. this wasn't the first time you've been fucked publicly as a punishment, you were an incubus afterall. it all started with you flirting with this oh so mighty god, wanting to earn his trust and protection.. except, you didn't realise you were just trapping yourself in his grasp— “slut, still smiling are you?" pfft, i mean, how could i not? that thick cock was addicting, just thinking about it would turn him on. but being publicly bred, and being forced an orgasm after orgasm? that would linger in your mind forever.
smack!
a loud, embarrassing moan escapes your throat with the spank, choking on sobs as you gasped for air with the soreness in your throat from his throatfucking previously making you cough. you were definitely drooling now.
his rhythm was clean, smooth, and rough. he pulls all the way out, just enough for the tip to barely be in you, leaving that empty feel inside your cheeks. don't worry though, he quickly thrusts back in at full strength, forcing your abused hole to take his full length in.
..how long was this going for? you don't even know. your wrists and shoulders are starting to hurt, hands tightly trapped in a rough rag he tied around your arms. the only reason why he didn't gag you, was because he wanted to let everyone hear what a whore you were, turned into his fucktoy for sleeping around with another mortal man who doesn't even deserve a glance of your divine, heavenly body. if it weren't for the wet blindfold around your eyes, you'd bet he'd tell you to keep your pretty eyes on him. he wraps his much bigger hand around the belt buckle, using a suffocating make-shift leash gripping tight on your throat, the leather grazing the many bite marks and hickies on your poor neck..
maybe you should sleep with even uglier mortals, he'll get more angry and take even more drastic measures.. like fucking you harder and longer.
"you better learn your lesson quick, before i fuck you to death."
clueless morax, that's exactly what you want.
🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔸
hi this is my first fanfic im tired of always fucking zhongli instead of being fucked by him, so take this not proofread shit fic i made... bye
~ `` zayel, 31/3/24 ``
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justmeinadaze · 3 months
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Don't Be So Hard (Steddie X Plus Size You)
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"Don't be so hard on yourself The name of the game is humiliation, And thanks for your admiration. I never thought I'd say this: The way that we play has its confrontation, And guilt by association."
A/N: New version of these beings for me to try out. Thank you @bimbobaggins69 for the idea by just being amazing <3.
This take place 10 years after events in season 4 so about 1996.
Warnings: Older Dom (30s) Coach Steve Harrington/Older Dom (30s) Professor Eddie Munson & Young (20s) Fem Plus size Sub Student Y/N (whew! That's a mouth full lol), SMUT, spanking, choking, degrading, voyeurism, use of sir, FLUFF, Eddie and Steve have an established relationship. ANGST (because I'm me), reader is plus size and gets name called by the jocks (they call her names like piggy), one of them does assault her (pushes her and yells at her; brief), Steddie saves the day, mentions of reader staring in a play that makes her anxious due to her body.
This whole dynamic is technically angsty (which is why I love it muahaha).
Word Count: 8679
“I fucking hate schools.”, you grumble under your breath as you hit snooze on your alarm for the fifth time that morning. The beginning of your junior year spring semester at Hawkins University started today but the idea of getting out of bed sounded exhausting. In Hawkins, everyone was in everyone else’s business and being the bigger girl some of the jocks felt the need to butt in more than anyone else. 
“Hey Y/N. Did you put on more weight this summer? Those jeans look like they’re about to pop!”
“Should you be eating that, piggy? Maybe try a salad every now and then.”
You thought when you left high school, you wouldn’t have to deal with this crap anymore but unfortunately some of it followed you to college. 
When you finally made it to your first class it was right before it began so you could avoid any unwanted conversation. You weren’t so lucky.
“Heeeeeeey, Y/N.”, football star Martin Click cooed obnoxiously as he leaned towards you from his seat above yours. “I was hoping we’d have some classes together, piggy. I missed you over the summer. You couldn’t bother to dress up for me?”
“Oh, sorry Martin, if I had known we would be sharing a class I would have made myself uglier but unfortunately for me that’s impossible since I’m so fucking sexy. Maybe you can tutor me on how to be a sloppy asshole.”
The breathy laugh that echoed to your ears caught you off guard as you glanced up towards the front of the classroom and met the chocolate eyes of your new Literature & Writing professor. 
“I’m sorry.”, you whisper as red paints your face.
“No, no. No reason to be sorry. I thought it was a good comeback.”, he grinned making you blush even more. “Mr. Click, should I tell Coach Harrington that you’re more focused on ladies attire than my class or are we going to behave this semester?”
Rolling his eyes, Martin leaned back in his chair making the professor smugly smirk as he winked in your direction. 
“As I’m sure ya’ll are aware, I’m professor Munson and if you’re here because of my reputation then I will kindly ask you to leave. I’m not here to talk about my past or my family history.”
You had heard rumors about Eddie Munson and of course knew all about him being on the run back when you were little. You parents never let you leave the house or play outside for fear that the “satanic Hawkins killer” would snatch you up and make you his next victim. As you grew up and read more about what happened, it seemed less to you like he did anything at all and obviously the chief agreed because Mr. Munson was never tried or did any prison time. 
No, you weren’t interested in his past. You were interested in the things he could teach you. After overhearing one of his lectures, you were fascinated with the way he told a story and explained the material. He got so animated to an adorable degree and as a theater major you thought it would be fun to see how he interpreted literature while getting the final English credit you needed. 
When no one moved he smiled and began talking about usual first day things such as the syllabus and what to expect over the semester. After the class had ended and everyone left, you stayed behind and quietly made your way to his desk. 
“Hey, um, I’m sorry if I was rude or—”
“I didn’t think you were rude. If anything, he was and definitely needed to be put in his place.”, he interrupted without looking your way as he sorted through papers in front of him. “You’re Y/N, right?”
“Yes, sir. Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen some of the plays you were in on campus here. I dragged my friend to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream and you actually got him to pay attention.”, Mr. Munson smiled as he finally lifted his head to look your way. “You were very good.”
“Oh, um, thank you very much. That means a lot coming from you.” He tilts his head at your comment as blush fills your cheeks again. “I just meant I’ve seen some of your lectures before and you’re an amazing storyteller. You excite me, I mean you make me want to pay attention to, I mean… ok, let’s pretend I just left right after class and didn’t just embarrass myself.”
Hugging your books to your chest, you power walk out the door as his chuckle fills your ears. 
***
With a break between periods, you hastily headed for the gym after lunch to change and get out on to the track by the field. Contrary to popular belief, you were fairly athletic despite your size and enjoyed letting off steam as you pumped your legs as fast as they could take you.
As your music blared loudly in your ears, the feeling of eyes watching you grabbed your attention towards the bleachers where Coach Harrington was standing with his arms crossed and leaning to the side as Professor Munson balanced his arm on his shoulder, murmuring something to him as their eyes followed you. 
Trying to block them out, you continued to focus on the path in front of you but was blindsided when a football whizzed past your nose almost hitting you.
“Whoa! Sorry, piggy. Have to keep your eyes open around here.”, Martin laughs as you roll your eyes. 
Glancing their way, you noticed both men were standing straighter as if prepared to defend you if needed. You weren’t a weak little girl and for whatever reason you strongly felt like you needed to show them that. As you pick up the football one of the players lifts his hands running towards you as if expecting you to not be able to throw it but at the last minute you throw a perfect spiral to their coach who doesn’t even hesitate as he lifts his hands and catches it seamlessly from the air. 
“Well, shit, gentlemen. Looks like I have a new passer.”
“Oh, no thank you, Coach Harrington. If I ever played a sport it would be with a team that doesn’t suck.”
Again, Mr. Munson snicked through his teeth as the man he was leaning on flashed you a big grin. 
#############
That night you decided to run after hours, thinking you would be alone but were surprised when you saw Coach Harrington on the track. 
“Shit! Sorry, you scared the hell out of me.”, he nervously chuckled. 
“I’M sorry. I thought no one would be out here.”
“Yeah, normally there aren’t.”, he teased raising an eyebrow at you. “Well, don’t let me stop you.”
As he took off continuing to jog, you pushed your headphones on your head and started your run. After a couple of laps with you in your zone, your feet abruptly slipped out from under you as you tumbled forward onto the gravel.
“Whoa!”, Coach Harrington shouted in concern as he ran to your side and kneeled down. “Are you alright?”
“Ow. Yeah, I just…tripped. Fuck that hurt.”
“Let me see.” Without any hesitation, his hand gripped your leg and looked it over. “Oof, you may have a pretty good bruise there but you should be alright.” Rising to his feet, he extended his hand to you to help you up which you eagerly accepted while he gripped you tightly and led you towards the bleachers. “You must have been deep in thought because you passed me a couple of times and didn’t even turn your head.”
“I did? Yeah, I’m sorry. I just have some things on my mind.”
“No, I know what you mean. Eddie—Professor Munson told me what happened in his class. If any of those guys bother you again, please let me know. I’ll make them run laps or even sit them out of a game if I have to. Nothing scares these kids more than not being able to play.”
You knew of Steve Harrington mostly because of his parents. The Harrington’s were prominent members of the community and very well respected. In your high school there had been pictures of him from his days on the basketball and swim team when he was a student. 
After he graduated, other rumors began to circulate about him spending time with the “freaks of Hawkins” but who cares. Not you especially since you had been labeled a freak since elementary. 
“I, um, I hope you didn’t take offense to what I said. Your team doesn’t suck just…some of your players. I mean, not their playing ability just their personalities. FUCK, why can’t I talk today?”
His smile widens as he laughs from his gut making you don your own smile. 
Coach Harrington’s eyes meet yours for a moment before a controlled laugh escapes his lips.
“What, um, what were you listening to so loud that you didn’t hear me yelling for you to slow down?”
Giggling, you gesture towards your Walkman. 
“Just some CD I burned to get me pumped. Right now, it’s playing ‘Master of Puppets’ by Metallica. Have you heard that song?”  
Something dark flashes over his face before he awkwardly nods and gets up leaving you alone on the bleachers as you stare after him. 
***
“Are you fucking kidding me?”, you growl as you push on the girl’s locker room door to find it locked. “What is going on with me this semester?”
Glancing around and seeing no one, you brave the boy’s locker room, finding it open, assuming that in his weird state, maybe, Mr. Harrington forgot to lock up. As quickly as you could you showered and began to change into some comfy clothes. 
The sound of something hitting the wall nearby froze you in fear as you gaze scanned the area. 
No one nearby. It could be the janitor cleaning the coach’s office.
Quietly, you threw your things over your shoulder and tiptoed that way with the intention of ducking under the window of the area so you weren’t seen but the muffled sound of moaning had you pausing again. 
“Mmm…Steve…Steven. Wh-What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me.”
“Your student that you talk about…Y/N…she was listening to that song you played in the upside down. I just…it made me think of us…us finding you.”
“Hey. Hey, hey, sweetheart. It’s ok. I’m ok. I’m right here, Steve. You saved me.”
Peeking through the window, you saw their forehead’s pressed together as Eddie gently caressed his cheek with his thumbs. A small sigh left your lips when they began to kiss each other again. With a bit of needy force, Steve turned him around and pulled his back flush to his chest. Gently nibbling on his neck, he reached around and unbuckled Eddie’s pants, pushing them down to free his cock that he promptly began stroking. 
Fuck me he’s big. 
You practically drooled at the sight, licking your lips as your palm absently glided under your shirt to rub your tummy.
With his free hand, Steve sloppily yanked down his sweats making you moan as you watched him spit in his palm and rub it between Eddie’s cheeks before gradually guiding himself into his entrance. 
“Fuck, Steve. That’s it, baby.”
Clinging to each other tightly, Steve thrust his hips at a steady rhythm and you marveled at the sight as your fingers drifted into your own sweatpants and you began circling your clit.
“H-Harder, Steve, please.”
“Please.”, you whisper as you try to keep your eyes open and on them. 
“Like this, honey? Fuck you feel so good, Eddie. I love you.”
Arching his back, your professor craned his neck to kiss the man’s lips as he pumped into him as hard as he could without hurting him. 
“I love you to, baby. Shit, I’m going to cum. Cum with me, Steve.”
Nodding aggressively, he chased their highs until both men grunted and came. While they softly kissed each other your body trembled as you covered your mouth, trying to stifle your moans as the coil snapped. It wasn’t enough as both their heads turned meeting your eyes as you were coming down from cloud 9. 
No one moved as the three of you stared each other. 
Holding up his hands in surrender, Steve pulled out as Eddie straightened up, worry painting both their faces. 
“Y/N…”
Before they could do anything else, you turned and quickly ran out of the locker room.
##############
What the fuck was I thinking?! I shouldn’t have watched them. Two teachers in the MALE locker room while I was touching myself. Shit. I’m going to be expelled for sure. 
Sitting on the stage of your theater class, you focused on the script in front of you as you prepared for an audition your professor recommended. Mrs. Lilah always felt constrained by Hawkins when it came to material but this year she quiet literally said fuck them and decided to do Rocky Horror Picture Show. 
As you read through your lines for Magenta, a clearing throat caught your attention. 
“Hey Eddie!”, your theater teacher beamed as she waved at him and he smiled back before jumping onto the stage to sit beside you. He smelled strongly like cigarettes and a dash of cologne that had your head spinning as you continued to keep your eyes on the paper in front of you. 
“Hey Lilah. I hope I’m not disturbing anything. I just need to talk to Y/N here about an assignment real quick.”
“No problem. She does have her audition for Janet in a few minutes and I’m dying to see her interpretation.”
That caught your attention as your head swiveled her way. 
“I’m doing what now?”
“For Janet, honey. I think you’d be perfect. She’s a bit timid at first but comes out of her shell.”
“But…but…she’s in a bra for a good chunk of the play.”
“Yeah…does that make you uncomfortable?”
“Hm, yeah, Y/N, does people seeing your body in the shadows in an intimate way make you uncomfortable?”, Eddie murmured low enough so only you could hear. 
“Let’s just do the audition and if you prove me right, we can talk about the wardrobe, ok?”
Flashing her a timid smile, you turn to give your attention to your professor. 
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? Skipping my class this morning? Oh, you mean when you watched me and my boyfriend have sex in the boy’s locker room?”
“The girl’s one was locked and I needed to shower—”
“That explains why you were in the locker room but not why you were there watching. Are you going to run and tell all your little friends about how you saw the murderous freak fucking the pretty, rich football coach?”
“What? No. I would never—”
“Mhmm. Look how much will it take to keep your mouth shut?”
“Nothing. I don’t—”
“Please, Y/N! Everyone has a price and Steve doesn’t deserve to lose all he’s worked hard for. So, tell me—”
“Will you let me talk!?” Glancing around to make sure no one heard your outburst; you lower your voice as you continue. “I don’t want anything or any money. I won’t tell anyone. I genuinely don’t care about your private lives. I’m really sorry I watched. I shouldn’t have…I just…”
Your professor’s eyes focused intently on you as he waited for you to continue. 
“I was attracted. The way you two kiss and the way he holds you…no one’s ever been that way with me…” When your eyes dared to finally meet his, you expected anger but those gorgeous chocolate irises displayed a softness you appreciated. “I swear, Mr. Munson, I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.”
Nodding, he jumped down from the stage before turning to face you again. 
“I think under the circumstances you can call me Eddie. Not in class but… I also think you should play Janet. You’re a very beautiful young lady. Don’t let any of these superficial idiots take away that lead role from you just because of how you look.”
#############
A couple of weeks had passed and nothing of note happened with school or your classes. You were cast as Janet, allowing Eddie’s advice to drive you as you maneuvered the role. Your professor and Coach Harrington had minimal contact with you but you always felt their eyes following you around. 
Tonight, you were studying in the Hawkins diner off campus. You preferred it here then the library after hours because not only could you munch on some delicious food but no one was usually there that you knew. 
As the bell above the door dinged, you glanced up from the novel Eddie had you guys reading to see said professor and his boyfriend entering the establishment and taking a seat. You couldn’t help but wonder how hard being out like this must be for them. They couldn’t share a booth or be flirty. They couldn’t hold hands or kiss, at least not visibly where people could see. You hated that for them since both seemed like good men. You wondered why they stayed behind here in this terrible little conservative town instead of moving anywhere else. 
Hoping to slip out unnoticed and allow them privacy this time, you gathered your things and placed some money on the table. 
“Is that my favorite piggy?”
You roll your eyes at the sound of Martin’s voice as you try to ignore him and head out the door. A hand abruptly grabs you but you slap it away. 
“Don’t touch me.”, you hiss. 
“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’s Saturday and we just left an awesome party. Can’t you and I get along for once?!” His friends around the table behind him snickered as a big devilish smile stretched across his face. 
“If you weren’t such a fucking dick maybe. Now leave me alone.”
As you storm out the front door to your car, something tugs your backpack, ripping it open as all your books and papers tumble to floor. Martin’s hand wraps around your throat and pushes you against the trunk of your car. 
“You will show some fucking respect especially in front of my friends.”
“Aw, did little Martin get his feelings hurt?”, you sass. “Didn’t realize you had any.” 
Your knee rises as you hit him in his stomach but he’s still faster as his palm reaches out to grab your shirt tugging you down hard onto the pavement.
Abruptly, someone grabs his own jacket collar and tosses him roughly away from you as Eddie quickly maneuvers around them both, kneeling to your level. 
“Are you ok, sweetheart? Can you stand?” Silently nodding, you take the hand he offers to you and rise to your feet. He notices immediately that your blouse is torn and without hesitation shimmies out of his leather jacket and places it around your shoulders. 
“Mr. Click, on Monday, you will see me in my office.”, Coach Harrington growled as he glared at the boy. 
“Oh, fuck you! That fat little whore pushed me into it!”
“HEY!”, he bellowed making you jump as your teacher rubbed your shoulders comfortingly. “I would advise you to stop speaking. You’re already in a lot of trouble.”
“Pfft, you think I’m scared of you, Steve Harrington?! Yeah, my parents told me all about you and the disappointment you became to Hawkins. You’re fucking pathetic! I’m surprised they even hired you to coach us let alone your friend the freak! I guess those satanic rituals DO fucking work.”
The man’s body language stiffened before he did that controlled chuckle you had heard before. 
“Alright, Martin, we can do this right now then. I was only going to suspend you but you know, since I’m so fucking pathetic I think I’ll just go all in. You’re off my team.”
“WHAT?!”
Turning around, he ignored the boy’s continued expletives as he faced you both. 
“Eddie, get her books and all her things. We’ll take her back to our house, if that’s ok with you.”, he asked pointedly in your direction. All you could do was nod and try to bend down to get your thing but the metalhead stopped you before descending to the concrete to collect your things. 
“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! YOU’LL REGRET THIS!”
“Take it up with the dean. Until then on Monday, I want your shit out of my locker room or else I will throw it in the garbage. Come on, guys.”
Coach Harrington opened the back seat door for you, startling you when he closed the door a bit too hard. 
***
When they parked outside of a home, neither moved as Eddie’s eyes scanned over his partner’s face.
“You ok, babe?”
His ringed fingers reached out to caress through his hair and in the rearview mirror you could see Steve close his eyes as he exhaled. 
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get inside.”, he answered curtly as he came around and opened your door and you followed both men inside. You stood in their living room silently as they threw their keys down and Eddie disappeared down a hallway. 
When he came back, he handed you a t-shirt that read “Def Leopard: Tour of 88!”
“Go put this on and we can see about fixing your own.”
His eyes followed you as you entered their bedroom where the bathroom was located and shut the door. Removing your blouse, you could see a slight bruise forming where the strap of your backpack had been on your shoulder and some redness around your neck where Martin had grabbed you. Swallowing your pain at the sight, you put on the shirt they provided and folded his jacket, placing it nicely on the countertop.
Your eyes took in their fairly average bathroom, smirking slightly at the hair gel you imagined was Steve’s as Eddie’s hair was always wild even during class when he pulled it back. Both their colognes and bathroom products were side by side like any couples but the few things you knew about them had each personality standing out. Cigarettes were by the window near the bathtub where you imagined Eddie smoked as they took a bath together. On the floor by the shower, were some handheld barbells you imagined Steve used while Eddie took a shower or got ready so they could talk to each other about their days. 
Walking back out to their bedroom, you noticed a guitar against the wall and grinned at its slightly cheesy 80s aesthetic. You remembered once hearing that Eddie Munson used to be in a band but for the life of you couldn’t remember the name. You wondered if he still played. 
“Your student that you talk about…Y/N…she was listening to that song you played in the upside down. I just…it made me think of us…us finding you.”
What could he have meant by that…
Your gaze shifted to their dresser that had a vanity mirror attached with pictures taped to it. There were so many images of them together that made your smile widen but there were also photos of Steve with a young lady you remember seeing around Hawkins. She used to work at Family Video until a few years ago but you weren’t sure where she moved on to from there. Did you remember Steve there? No… you were pretty young though and focused on your own carefree life. 
There were pictures of Eddie with the Hellfire club. They were still active when you went to Hawkins High filled with a cool group of kids you hung out with from time to time. There were whispers of the man that created it but everyone in the club always said good things about the former Dungeon Master. 
They must have been in two different worlds in high school. 
What must have happened to bring them together?
“Steven, you need to calm down.”
The sound of Eddie’s voice caught your attention after something loud slammed in the kitchen. You tiptoed down their hallway and paused on the other side of the wall. 
“Fucking asshole kid, I swear to God.”
“Baby, it’s not the first time someone has said those things to us and it won’t be the last especially since we chose to stay here.”
“We didn’t exactly choose and that’s not why I’m upset.”
“Why then?”
“She…she seems like a nice girl.”
“She IS a nice girl.” Eddie sighs as he lowers his voice. “Steven, she’s a student and a lot younger than us.”
“Not a lot. Jesus, you make us sound ancient. She’s, what, how old you were when you graduated high school.”
“Hey, ok first off, rude.” They both giggle making you grin. “Second, again, she’s a student. She’s MY student. I could get in way more trouble than you.”
“Like that’s ever stopped you.”
“I swear, sweetheart, don’t we have enough chaos fucking hiding our relationship?”
“Oh, come on, Ed, you don’t like her?”
“I didn’t say that. I just… yeah, she’s beautiful and adorable and… fuck. We shouldn’t talk about this with her here.”
Collecting your bearings, you walk around the wall and knock on it lightly.
“Hey, there she is. I, uh, I fixed your backpack. Let me, um, see if I can salvage this top for you here.”, Eddie smiles as he takes it from your hands and heads for their couch. 
“I didn’t know you could sew.”
“Mhmm. I can’t like whip up a brand new outfit or anything but I can patch things together.”
“Are you alright? Do you need any Band-Aids or an ice pack?”, Steve asks from his place by the counter. 
“No, I’m ok. My throat is a bit sore but…” You don’t even finish your sentence before he’s turning around and grabbing an ice pack from the freezer, wrapping it in a rag, and sitting in front of you on their coffee table to place it on your neck. “Thank you. I like being choked but not like that or by that asshole.”
They both glance at each other as you blush. 
“Yeah, probably not a joke to make right now. Sorry.”
“You apologize a lot.”, Eddie says from behind you. 
“Sorry.” They laugh making you grin to yourself as you look down at your feet. “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble. I’m not…actively…trying to do that.”
“Oh, no worries, honey. Trust me. What is he going to say? ‘Coach Harrington kicked me off the team after I drunkenly assaulted a girl?’ I’m pretty sure the dean will side with me on that one.”
Your silence makes them nervous and they exchange another look. 
“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”
“I’m thinking about how I never expected Martin to do what he did. He’s been mean to me since freshman year but never aggressive like that.”
“You know that wasn’t your fault, right, princess?”
“Yeah, I know. I…I…” Unable to control them, the tears began to flow and a ring laced hand delicately reached for your shoulder, moving the things in his lap aside so he could hold you to his chest. Steve placed his own palm on your jeaned thigh and comfortingly rubbed against the material. 
Once again you were engulfed in the scent of Eddie’s cigarettes and cologne as his cheek rested on the top of your head. You couldn’t explain why but you felt safe here with their hands on you encased between them. 
It had been a few months since your last relationship and you could feel yourself dropping into that particular headspace the longer they comforted you. 
“I’m…I’m also thinking…about what I saw that night…in the locker room. How you two took care of each other…”
All movement on your body ceased as they even held their breathes. 
“H-How about we get you home, Y/N? I can give you this shirt after our next class.”
Eddie lightly pushed you to the side as he tried to stand but you hastily grabbed his arm stopping him. 
“I heard you. You said I was beautiful and sweet.”
As your little voice flowed through his ears, his eyes squeezed shut trying to keep control. 
“Y/N, maybe, he’s right. Maybe, we should get you home before—”
“Before what, Steve?” This was the first time you were using his name out loud and the notion sent tingles all through your body feeling like a little girl who misbehaved.
“Hey. You show him respect, little girl. That’s Mr. Harrington or sir.”, Eddie scolded in gruff tone.
“Edward…”
“No, Steven. Little girl wants to play with the grownups, then that’s how we will treat her. Now, we said, you’re going home. Grab your things and head towards the front door.”
“Why did you bring me back here, Mr. Munson? You could have taken me back to my dorm but you didn’t. Why?”
“Because people shouldn’t be seeing a professor drop off a student on campus.”
“But Steve said he was taking me to your house out loud to Martin.”
The man’s hand firmly came down on the side of your thigh making you yelp as you bit your bottom lip. 
“He said show me respect.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Harrington.” Placing your hand on top of his, your thumb tenderly ran along his skin as you leaned against Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Munson. Like I said…no one has ever taken care of me or looked out for me the way you two do with each other.”
You were slightly surprised when his fingers gently came around and brushed your hair away from your face. 
“We brought you back here because we thought you were safer with us here. After what he did, we thought that’s what you needed.”
“Am I not safe here?”, you whisper as you can’t help but rub your thighs together. 
“Y/N… Eddie and I have been through a lot. What you saw in my office isn’t always how we are when we’re intimate. We’re not always…soft.”
“But I promise you, princess, we are nothing like Martin. If you wanted to leave…right now…that’s ok. We can take you home or call you a cab if that makes you more comfortable.”
He was giving you an out; they both were. You could leave right now and the three of you could pretend this never happened. You could pretend that Steve’s large hand on your upper thigh wasn’t turning you on as you thought about how those long fingers would feel inside of you. You could pretend that Eddie’s touch wasn’t getting progressively slower as the pads of his own fingers traced your cheek making your pussy clench around nothing. You could pretend the notion of doing something you shouldn’t and being at the mercy of these two men’s wills didn’t drive you crazy. You could do that… 
Or…
“I don’t mind it not being soft, Mr. Harrington. I trust you and Mr. Munson.” Both men exchanged on final look of caution before your last sentence pushed caution to the wind. “Please, I need you.”
“I think since you saw us in vulnerable position we should get the same courtesy.”, Steve replied in a much huskier tone than before. Taking your hands in his, he pulled you to your feet and pushed the coffee table out of the way before taking the seat you had just been in. On impulse, Eddie leaned closer to him as the other boy wrapped his arm around his shoulder. 
“Go ahead, Y/N.”
As your eyes shifted between their heavy gazes, you lifted off the shirt he gave you, unbuttoned your pants, and shimmied them a bit clumsily down your legs.
You stood there waiting for more instruction as they continued to stare at your body. 
“Did you see our cocks?”
“Yes.”
Steve smirked as his boyfriend began to kiss his neck while his palm traveled along his chest down his stomach.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Remember that, Y/N. I don’t like repeating myself and Eddie is a lot nicer than I am in here.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Harrington.”
Steve’s eyes fluttered when the metalhead’s palm grazed the bulge in his jeans. 
“Now, if you saw or cocks, then why are you stopping?”
“You said…I should be vulnerable, sir.”
Your small voice had them groaning as Eddie fumbled with the pretty boy’s belt almost desperately. 
“Fuck. Don’t move.” He commanded towards you as his head turned to capture his boyfriend’s lips. Lifting his hips, he helped Eddie blindly pull his jeans down just enough to free his length. As he started to lean over his lap, Steve hastily stopped him with a smile. “You don’t want to see her, honey?”
He chuckled as he focused his attention back on you. 
“Do you feel vulnerable, Y/N?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Hm. Not enough to not finger yourself out in the open though, huh? I mean at least you had pants on.”
“I-I-I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinking—”
“No, you weren’t. Take off the rest so we can see you.”
While doing what he said, you watched as Steve pushed down Eddie’s pants as well and both men kissed passionately in front of you as they stroked each other’s cocks. 
“Y/N, is there anything we should know? Anything we should avoid?”
“No, Mr. Munson.”, you answered, appreciating his soft tone as he asked his series of questions. 
“You said you liked being choked but is there anything physical we shouldn’t do?”, Eddie groaned out as Steve lifted off his shirt.
You heard his question but couldn’t form an answer as your eyes starred at the scars that littered his chest. They looked like whatever wound created them was deep, possibly life threatening. What could have happened to him?
“HEY!”, he barked making you jump. “He said he’s not as nice as me but that doesn’t mean I’m easy going! Now, answer the fucking question, little girl.”
“I’m sorry, sir. N-No, I don’t mind being hit or p-punished. Mr. Munson, what happened?”
As you started to step forward, both sets of brown eyes glared your way freezing you in place.
“Do you know the stop light system?”, Steve growled in a much rougher tone than you were prepared for. Nodding curtly after reciting it to them, he got up and grabbed your arm, sitting you between them. “Now, we do have some rules, Y/N. The first rule is the most important. DON’T ask about our scars.”
“Our?”
Steve slowly lifted off his own shirt and tossed it to the side. He didn’t have as many scars as Eddie but they were just as deep and looked similar. Whatever happened must have happened to both of them. 
“I’m so sorry you both went through…whatever hurt you.”, you coo as you reach out to graze your fingers down Eddie’s chest. 
The darkness in their eyes faltered slightly at your sincerity and the metalhead took your hand in his, tenderly kissing the back of it. 
“Second rule. You have to be vocal, Y/N. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, we need you to say red ok?”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Munson. “
“Good. Good girl.”
His praise made you giddy as you blush making him smile.
“Can I kiss you?”
“I have one more question, princess. Have you ever done anything like this before?”
“Yes and no.”
“Yeah, we’re going to need you to clarify that.”, Steve laughs. 
“I’ve done rough stuff with dominate partners before. I’ve never been with two men before.”
The way you said the word men had Eddie’s eyebrow quirking upward. 
“Are you trying to tell us you’ve only been with boys your age?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why did you feel the need to tell us that?”
“Do we make you nervous?”, Steve asks as his fingers dance up your arm. 
“Yes b-but not because of you two, Mr. Harrington. I just wanted you to know j-just in case I’m not as ‘experienced’ as you both.”
Eddie’s palms cupped your cheeks as he brought your lips to his. You weren’t surprised by the nicotine that lingered there but you were by the tingle that ran through your body as his tongue caressed your own. When he pulled away you tried to lean forward for more but his grip held firm. 
“We weren’t expecting you to be, pretty girl. You’ve only ever been with these little boys but you’re about to be fucked by real men, sweetheart. Trust us, we know how to take care of you.”
You moaned at his promise, turning towards Steve to crash your lips with his. He was a much more determined kisser, his mouth and tongue sending that same shock wave through to your core. 
“Have you ever sucked a cock as big as mine?”, he panted against your lips.
As you shake your head, his fingers grab your throat just below your jaw as if purposely avoiding where Martin had hurt you. 
“What did I say? How do you answer us?”
“I’m sorry. No, sir, I’ve never sucked a dick as big as either of you.”
Sitting back, his palm moved to the back of your neck, guiding you down over his leaking tip as Eddie adjusted your body till you were on all fours for them. 
“Fuck me, Steve. She is so fucking wet. Her pussy is just tripping down her thighs.”
“Aw, you like being a bad girl, don’t you, honey?”
“Y-yes, Mr. Harrington. I like being a bad girl.”
“Open your mouth.” Doing as he directed, you quickly kissed his slit making him mewl before fully taking him between your awaiting lips. “Yes, oh my god. T-That’s a good girl.”
Eddie’s fingers glided through your folds causing your eyes to roll as you bobbed your head.
“Steve, baby, Jesus, she’s so fucking tight.”, the metalhead groaned as his palm came down hard on your ass. 
“Yeah, Y/N? Did that feel good? You like when your professor spanks you?”
Yanking your hair roughly he tugs you off of him as you continue to stroke him with your hand. 
“I didn’t hear that, little girl. What did you say?”
“Y-Yes, sir, I like when Mr. Munson spanks me.” 
At your response he spanks you again right as he guides two of his digits into your core. Gripping you tighter, Steve forces your mouth on him again and holds you still as he thrusts his hips allowing his cock to hit the back of your throat. 
“Good girl. That’s it, Y/N. Keep your throat open for me.”
Abruptly, Eddie swats his boyfriend’s hand and tugs on your shoulder, guiding you down the hallway to their bedroom and tossing you onto their bed. After completely removing the rest of his clothes, he climbs between your legs and runs his wide, flat tongue through your pussy up to your clit. 
“Oh shit.”, you moan as your back arches into the feeling before yelping when his palm smacks your cunt. 
“Watch your mouth, little girl.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry.”
Steve chuckles as he climbs in beside you both placing his knees by your head as his fingers grip your hair again. 
“Can’t really blame her. I know how amazing your tongue feels. Then again, you may have some competition, babe, because her fucking mouth feels so good.”
Pride washes over you at his praise as you grip his cock and take him as far back as you can trying to continue to please him. 
“I-It’s ok, honey. We can train this little throat. As—fuck—as you know, Eddie’s a wonderful teacher.” His boyfriend tosses him a smirk as his tongue flicks faster against your bud. “Are you going to cum? Cum, Y/N. Cum all over his face.”
Your hips grinded against him as the man’s mouth wrapped around your bundle of nerves and he pushed two of his fingers rapidly inside of you as the sound of your arousal to fill the room. 
Steve backed away from you, allowing you to focus and breathe as your orgasm washed over you. As you came down from your high, Eddie lightly slapped between your legs making you jump and groan. 
“Sensitive. I like that.”
Tilting towards their bedside table, he paused as their eyes met. 
“Shit. I don’t have any condoms.”
“What?”, Steve almost wined as you tried to contain your smile at their desperate need for you.
“Steve, we’ve been together for almost 10 years. When was the last time we used a fucking condom?”, Eddie growled. 
“We’ve been talking about adding someone to our dynamic for a while now.”
“Yeah but I wasn’t prepared for it to be tonight with a fucking student!”
“Excuse me.”, you finally pipe up. “I’m on the pill. I can understand if you still don’t want to but…I’m safe. And like I said, I trust you.”
Both men exchange a glance and you can’t help but giggle up at them. 
“So how long were you going to wait before you said anything, huh?”
“Mr. Munson, you didn’t ask. I wanted to be a good girl and only speak when spoken to.”
They narrow their eyes playfully at you for a moment before Eddie grabs your jaw and tilts you till your face is level with his. 
“You’re not cute, little girl. That little snarky attitude may have worked on those pathetic boys you were with but you’re in the bed of real men now. Don’t hide things from us you think we should know. Do I make myself clear?”
“Y-Yes, sir. I’m—”
Steve’s hand cuts you off as he pushes you back against the mattress. 
“We know. You’re sorry.”
Taking hold of his shaft, Eddie taps himself against your pussy making you squirm as you open your legs wider for him. Grabbing your hips, he slides you closer and gradually guides himself into your dripping entrance.
“Fuuuuuck.”, he moaned as he slowly pumped his hips. “We are going to fucking ruin you for anyone else, little girl. Goddamn.”
“How does she feel, baby?”, Steve asks as he leaned towards him to lightly kiss his neck.
“S-So fucking tight, sweetheart, you have no idea. I want…”
“What do you want, Ed?”
“I wanna…fuck her into the fucking mattress.”
Your pussy fluttered around him at his words and his eyes that been closed shot open as he placed his palms on either side of you and started thrusting into you aggressively.
“You want that, you little whore. I can give that to you.”
Much softer than his partner, Steve turned your head and slide his cock back into your mouth that you eagerly sucked on relishing the taste of him. As he pounded into you, Eddie’s lips kissed along his boyfriend’s chest making the man groan louder as he ran his fingers through his hair. 
Bringing his lips to his own they passionately exchanged a kiss that had you mewling as the long-haired man rolled his hips hard hitting that soft spot inside you repeatedly. 
Eddie’s head tilted back as his jaw went slack and you couldn’t help but reach your hands up to run your nails down your chest. 
“I’m…I’m…please…”
Steve moved back as the metalhead grabbed your wrists and held them against the bed as his face fell beside your own. 
“You fucking ask me, Y/N. You beg us to let you cum. Shit. We have control in here.”, he whispers in your ear making your shudder underneath him. 
“P-Please, Mr. Munson. Can I cum? I want to cum on your cock, please.”
His hair tickles your face as he nods and the action of him tenderly kissing your cheek pushes you over the edge as the coil snaps. 
“Fuck, that’s it, pretty girl. Came so fucking hard on my dick. I’m going to fill you up, princess, ok?”
“Please…”, you whimper as he slams into you, chasing his high.
Your professor’s grunts filled your ear and you turned your head into the sound as he warmed your insides. As soon as he rolled off you, a hand took hold of your ankle and yanked you to the edge the bed. 
“Hey, hey, honey. No, no.”, Steve cooed with a hint of sarcasm as he lightly slapped your cheek. “Open your eyes, baby. What color are you at, Y/N?”
“Green.”
His massive palm slapped you a bit harder causing your eyes to fully open as you leaned up on your elbows. 
“Green, what?”
“Green, SIR!”
You’re suddenly turned on to your stomach as rough hands lift your ass in the air while another set takes hold of your wrists and pulls your top half down and forward. 
“Get rid of the attitude, Y/N. You think just because you came you’re allowed to be disrespectful?”, Eddie growls as Steve spanks your behind. “Now, answer him clearly without the tone.”
“Green, Mr. Harrington.”
As he ran his tip through your folds, you knew even after taking his partner, he was going to split you in half. 
“Fuck me.”, Steve moaned as he began pushing himself into you. 
Eddie’s head tilted to the side as he watched your face scrunch together. 
“You’re alright, sweetheart. Trust me, I know how hard he can be to take at first but it will feel good soon. I promise, baby.”, he soothed and kissed your lips. 
“F-Feels…feels good…now. Fuck.”
The man behind you smacks your ass at the curse, pressing further into your cunt till his hips finally connected with yours. 
“Still green, babe?”
“Yeeeees, sir.”
“Good.” Clinging to your waist, Steve pulled back till he was almost all the way out of pussy before roughly slamming back into you practically punching the air from your lungs.
“Oh my god!”
With a slanted smile, he pounded into you as Eddie watched from the side, sitting up on his knees to occasionally run his fingers down the man’s chest. 
“She feels really fucking good, right? Our young, new little toy.”
“Goddamn, I’m gonna fucking bust like a teenager.”
“Wait, pretty boy. You need to feel her cum. Her pussy fucking chokes your dick, I swear.”
“Fuck, Y/N, are you close, little girl?” When you didn’t answer, his hand reached around to grab you throat and lift your back to his chest. “Still coherent, you little slut? I asked you a question.”
“H-Harder, Mr. Harrington, please.”
As his forehead landed on your shoulder, he did what you asked till the bed began to jostle underneath you. A jolt of electricity shot through your body and you mewled as Eddie rubbed circles into your clit. 
You took their conversation as approval and your arm circle around Steve’s neck as you came. 
“Jesus fucking Christ!”, he grunted as he took hold of your chin and turned you so his lips could mingle with yours as he pumped into you a few more times before releasing his seed inside you. 
You were completely drained and slightly sore as he tried to delicately pullout of you while you waited for what to do next. Usually, the boys you were with did the minimal amount of aftercare, choosing to just cuddle with you which was fine. You were surprised, however, when Eddie informed you the bath was ready when you were. 
“For me?”
“Yeah, princess, come on. It will soothe your muscles.”, he murmured softly as he took your forearm and slowly walked you to the bathtub and guided you in. Your head remained lowered as you listened to him maneuver around the bathroom, sliding on some boxers before lighting a cigarette and placing himself on his knees beside you. 
Utilizing the washcloth, he cleaned you pausing when your hand suddenly grabbed his wrist as he attempted to clean between your legs. 
“I’m sorry. Just sore.”, you whispered as you let him go. 
Eddie’s eyes scanned you over and you heard him blow out some smoke from his lips as he put the cigarette down in a nearby ashtray. His fingers moved some of your hair back and he pressed his nose into your cheek while he continued to clean you. 
“It’s ok, sweetheart. You’re still doing really good for me. I know your little pussy hurts from how we stretched her open but we got you, pretty girl. You took us both so well.”
As his deep, comforting tone continued to whisper praises, you keened into the sound as you winced, trying not to grab him again.
“I know, I know. I’m almost done.”
Tilting your head, your lips found his, both of you getting lost in the feeling as he dropped the rag from his hand so he could cup your face and hold you closer. A throat clearing distracted you two as Steve entered the bathroom. 
“I, uh, I have some clothes for you here, Y/N, whenever you’re ready.”
Nodding, you allow Eddie to help you out and lead you in front of his partner who took a seat on the edge of the bed. His honey irises ran along your body, checking for extra care you may need that they inflicted but unlike your assault earlier the only mark they left was the slight reddening of their handprints on your behind. 
“How’s your throat? I tried not to grab you where—”
Your kisses startled him at first but after a few seconds his hand slithered tenderly behind your neck as he kissed you back. 
“I’m ok. Just sore…and tired.”, you reiterate as your heavy eye lids dropped. 
“Ok, honey.” Steve’s hands held you steady while Eddie dressed you in what smelled like their clothes as you swayed in his grasp. “You did so good for us. You deserve some sleep. Would you like me to carry you to the guest bedro—”
Both men watched with amusement as your shook your head before climbing over him and crawling under their covers. 
“I guess we can sleep in the—”
“Please don’t leave.”, you begged in a little girl voice that pierced their hearts. 
“Why does she keep interrupting me?”, Steve chuckles as he gets to his feet and yanks Eddie into his arms to kiss his lips. “She doesn’t do that with you. Or does she in class?”
At the word the metalhead became silent as he kissed his partner’s shoulder and crawled into the bed in front of you. His palm softly caressed your face and through your hair as Steve got in bed behind you.
“You’re worried.”
“Of course, I am and not just because she’s a student. That’s just the frosting on top of the cake that is our problem.”
“That sounds delicious.”
“Steven.”, Eddie scolds as they both smile. “She’s so much younger than we are.”
“10 years. Not much.”
“Not to mention the fact, that we are already hiding OUR relationship let alone another with a young, student. She deserves to be taken on dates and to live her life. She deserves to be seen not hidden.”
“So do you, honey.”
“Steve… we decided a long time ago to stay in Hawkins for a reason. We can’t be run out of town by these homophobic small, minded idiots. They’ve just barely started calming down when it comes to me and what happened in 86. And that’s another thing. What if…what if something happens? What if Vecna comes back or any other fucking monster? We can’t drag her into that.”
“Eddie, you’re over thinking again, but I see where you are coming from. Let’s…let’s take it one day at a time, ok? Who knows. She may wake up and decide this is all too much herself. She may not want to be with some…old, broken-down college professors slash coach.”
“Oh my god, baby.”, the long-haired boy chuckles as he throws his arm over his eyes. “You’re not broke down. We just have some wear and tear.”
Your palm reaching out and pulling Eddie closer as you fully folded into Steve silenced them. They relaxed into you as your professor kissed your forehead and your school’s coached nuzzled into your shoulder as they drifted off to sleep with you. 
##############
@corkadymu @lilaclazer @aol19 @nailbatanddungeon
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ginkgo-phyta · 2 months
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Hotch would definitely give you the princess treatment, and you know what? Jack would too, after seeing his father he knows how to treat a girl right. And the team would definitely tease Hotch, because his son is going to steal his partner from him :)
omg no LITERALLYYY tho like just like omfg alright i got carried away with this and its not even really what you're talking about but listen to me okay LISTENNNNN
tagged spencer reid x reader because i want more people to see this teehee pls dont hate me i have spencer fics yall should read if you havent already but also you should still read this too
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YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH AARON HOTCHNER AND ITS INFLUENCE ON HIS SON JACK gn!reader, FLUFF, no warnings(?) another informal blurb typa format :P
you and hotch decide together you'd like to date for a while first, take things slower and fully solidify and strengthen your relationship, before you become a part of jack's life. you didn't want jack to get attached to you or write you off too quickly in case life took you in different directions. you didn't know it at the time, but hotch introduced you to jack when he was sure he was going to marry you some day- and soon. he had been so incredibly head over heels in love with you and once you and jack got close, the little guy really got to witness how highly his father regarded you- and just how he showed you it every day. even in the little things. from the way hotch pulled out your chair, held all doors open for you, always kept your favorite drinks and snacks stocked up in the fridge and pantry, never let you open your own car door, the way he made spaces for you in his bathroom and closet without even being asked, and how he always stuck to your weekly dinner date- whether in person or over the phone. to the way his father would look at you, listen intently to whatever you were talking or ranting about, how he'd cup your hands and press quick kisses to them or move any bothersome strands of hair from your face when you'd eat, and how enthusiastic he always was when you and jack would spend time together.
jack was a bit hesitant with you at first, he was a bit older at that point and the quickness with which beth had left his life had admittedly stung him, leaving an ever-present welt behind. but he warmed up to you, appreciative of the way you welcomed him with open arms, never pressured him to spend time with or even like you (letting him accept you at his own pace) and how you clearly were not trying to take the place of his late mother- even many, many years into your relationship with his father. what he loved the most was how you always encouraged hotch to recount stories of haley, put pictures of her in jack's room or wherever else he wanted them, and how you would remind him: "your mother would be so proud of you jack." you would watch old home videos of their old family and jack never failed to notice how you wouldn't ever feel negatively about it. that was really what won him over. he also loved how open you were with both him and his dad- every day you'd say "i love you!" both casually and purposefully. it instilled in the young boy the importance of expressing appreciation, love, and care for others.
before you, hotch was always a just bit emotionally closed off. even when it came to jack he liked to keep himself a bit more reserved. he tried to stay a strong and unwavering inspiration, only wanting to show his son his best face. but once you came into their lives you inspired hotch to open up more than he had the last few years after haley's passing, inspired him to embrace even the "uglier" emotions he felt in life: grief, anger, sadness, and tiredness. it ended up passing onto jack in small ways, allowing him to feel even closer to dad. you became a huge structural post in jack's life. your love for one other inspired him, as he grew up he dreamed of one day having a relationship like yours. he looked forward to being able to treat his significant other the way his father cares for you.
you loved jack as if he was your own, though you never wanted to say that to him for fear of overstepping your role. aaron would always assure you, especially as jack grew older, that his boy felt it. you watched him go from a playful child, to a moody teenager, to a budding adult eager to make his mark on the world. and you were there supporting him the whole way.
you'll spend a lifetime with the both of them and although there will be many funny, loving, or frustrating moments you'll hold in a special place in your mind, there's one memory from when he was still a youngin that you love the most. it was a surprise dinner party at your fancy restaurant, aaron had booked the whole place just for you and the guests to celebrate your engagement and he had enlisted jack's help to plan the whole thing. jack, the bau team, and your friends and family were all there to shower you in love. the most memorable part of the night was the moment everyone sat down for dinner, all around a giant table (possibly multiple tables pushed together). as everyone moved to take their place jack ran so eagerly in front of you to pull your chair out before his father got the chance. you were shocked for a second before bursting out in a melodious laugh- it was so unexpected but you were incredibly moved. "oh, jack, thank you!" your loving, excited, and genuinely appreciative tone made jack's already huge grin grow even wider and more endearing. everyone else had noticed this too and laughed in joy along with you. "oh my god!" "that was so freakin cute" "he did not just do that!" rang out around you. of course aaron noticed, standing in silence for a second, a similar smile mirrored on his face, before he shook his head with a chuckle. as you took you seat, jack made sure to push your chair in just before you sat down fully, diligently executing what he'd studied his father do hundreds of times before. you turned to thank him, but before you could even open your mouth jack moved to take your cloth napkin from the table, shake it open, and carefully place it in your lap. awwws flooded in from all sides of the table
"oh you are just so adorable jack, thank you so much." you said as you pinched his still slightly chubby cheek "you are just the kindest, sir." you playful tone cause jacks entire face to blush and he shyly walked over to take a seat next to you.
"what? you take my job, and now you don't even want to sit next to me?" hotch spoke up from you other side. jack knew his father was joking, but he still bashfully giggled, sinking a bit more into his seat
"you better be careful, hotch," derek spoke up from across the table, motioning to his former boss with a breadstick, "looks like you got some competition there."
everyone broke out into more laughter, especially aaron. in the midst of the hysterics, the once-stoic man's hand crept into your lap to hold your own, thumbing over the back of your hand and the beautiful engagement ring wrapped around your finger. you shared a glance while you both laughed before you looked over to jack. wordlessly, your hand suddenly hopped up to ruffle up the little boy's hair, causing him to scrunch up his nose and giggle even more.
but you didn't have to say anything, your eyes held the truth. love. jack continued to look up at you, feelings of warmth, joy, and safety draped over him like a fuzzy throw, covering him from the crown of his head to the tips of his fingers and toes. he knew that with you in his life now, besides him and his father, everything would be okay.
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A/N: SCREAMING how was this anon? sorry i didn't delve into the team teasing hotch more bc these thoughts were swimming in my head and i NEEDED to get them down perhaps i could do another post of just teasing quotes if that's something you'd like! i got a few ideas swimmin already teehee i hope you enjoyed my love!!
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honeydewsblue · 2 months
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( gojo and paparazzi ) — alternatively: this with gojo 💀…
╰┄➤ 1.1 k wc, reader n gojo are obsessed and in love with each other, jealousy, not proofread i’m too incapacitated (sleep deprived)
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satoru has a sort of unearthly beauty to him, you think that much is a sort of fundamental truth. an axiom. he's a frustratingly attractive man, in spite of his piss poor personality and the uncanny features he possesses. he’s got white hair and blue eyes and height that makes him almost as tall as his ego; there is nothing about him that is anything short of unnatural.
satoru is unnaturally pretty—and unfairly so, too. he knows it. how could he not, when anyone who has the ability to see makes a point of acknowledging it? whether it's through envious glares or wanting stares, or by being awestruck at the sight of someone who doesn't look like he belongs amongst humans (if only they knew how right they were), people notice him. not as if he needs that to know his worth. in the back of your head, you can hear his raucous laugh at the prospect of being in any way dependent on something so insignificant; on anything at all. you think i give a shit about them?
(still, you know he thrives off of it, off of the attention—being the attention whore that he is.)
the point is, it’s obvious that people can see satoru’s beauty.
especially now, you think, when you watch women your age fawn and giggle to each other over him—watch as they snap pictures and take videos of him. it’s almost pious, the way they try to capture him in film.
yes, an agreeing hum rolls in your throat, it is a universal truth that he is beautiful. unnaturally so. but you really wish people could just be normal, and refrain from being so indecent as to film strangers on the street.
it's not the first time it's happened—the farthest thing from it. unfortunately, you know it's even farther from being the last time, too. satoru's always been a sort of spectacle, one way or the other; in his power, his skills, his looks... he's watched by everyone. he is someone to serve witness to. that, too, is a fundamental truth.
though you know this, an ugly little feeling crawls in your gut while you watch the scene play out in front of you. most of it a sense of disgust, given the impression of how out of touch people are—but, a smaller, yet even uglier, part of it is a little possessive.
that smaller, uglier part feels a little offended at the fact that they’re being so blatantly disrespectful in front of you. that smaller, uglier part feels a little humiliated.
it’s a familiar sight, something you’ve seen happen time and time again, but this is the first time you’ve taken it as an insult—the first time you’ve taken it so personally, the first time you’ve felt it. the first time you’ve felt your dignity being prodded at, like there’s a blazed red rod poking and poking, urging that burning feeling in your gut to grow hotter and hotter. it’s an invasive thing, this hot, rushing feeling.
it isn’t personal. you know that. it shouldn’t be personal, but…
when you meet satoru in the middle, your fingers slip under the collar of his dress shirt. your nails drag taut at the crisp linen like an assertion and you pull him towards you, swift as you press your lips against his. you can feel the hesitation, the fleeting shock against them—that sharp, nearly imperceptible gasp skipping across teeth—but it barely lasts half a second before he’s the one kissing you. that small, uglier little part of you hopes that their little camera captured the picture of you kissing him.
you keep your heavy eyes cracked open, capturing it for yourself.
his hand finds its way to your lower back easily, like a puzzle piece fitting into its slots, holding you close to him; securing you. his hand is weighted on your back in a way that grounds you, but gentle as his fingers skim across your the fabric of your shirt. heavy and gentle like he’s trying to get to the skin underneath. heavy and gentle, like the way he looks at you, eyes skimming across your face—your eyes, to your lips, your cheeks, your eyes again. heavy and gentle, like worship. he wets his lips, swallows. “what was that about?”
he likes the look you have in your eyes, likes the way they mirror his own.
(you see him like how he sees the world, like something all encompassing. he likes that he can see you, only you, with this overwhelming sort of clarity. he likes that he sees you the way you see the world—the tunnel vision of it all. your attention is the only one he really wants for. the only one really he needs.
if you told him he was dependent on you, he’s not sure he’d have it in him to laugh it off.)
you cast a dirty, sidelong glance at where you feel two pairs of eyes burning holes at the both of you; poking and poking.
(and satoru thinks you look awfully pretty right now, your eyes glaring and lidded, your lashes contouring the sharp and narrowed look you bear. awfully, unearthly pretty, and so very familiar in a way that makes him crave you, makes him want to immortalize you in his skin. it’s instinctual, the way he gravitates to you, minty breath ghosting your cheek.)
they’re borderline gawking at the two of you until one of them smacks at the other's arm not-so-inconspicuously, and they shuffle off to the sidewalk, whispering to each other yet again. it’s only then that satoru follows your line of sight. when it clicks, he looks back at you far too eagerly for your comfort.
“oh,” he drawls, his stupid pretty teeth bearing themselves in the stupid, obnoxious grin that spreads across his lips. “that’s what it was?”
the idea of you being so possessive makes his stomach flip.
“baby, are you jealous?” he looks awfully happy about it, blue eyes gleaming at you with an unabashed sort of mirth. even when he finds himself being on other end of that glare of yours, his dimples only get deeper.
“you’re worse than me,” you hum. you don’t admit it, but you don’t deny it—you can’t. maybe you’re spending too much time with him.
oh. goosebumps break out against your skin at the thought of picking up his behavior, a little horrified at the thought of coming off as obtrusive as him. you shrug it off, shaking your head. “doesn’t matter,” you say airily, glancing at him, “you’re mine.”
you definitely spend too much time with him, if your aloof nonanswers and attitude attest to anything.
when your eyes meet his, you think that he sees it too. there’s a certain look in his eyes, the way they widen a fraction like he’s trying to commit you to memory—as if he hasn’t already. you know it’s probably just from the dark of night, but his pupils are wide and that revered and blessed blue he bears is reduced to a ring. right now, his eyes are consuming. you think you can see yourself in them.
(and, he does—he does see it. with his eyes, he sees little bits of himself transfused with you and it’s the most satisfying feeling he’s ever gotten in his life.)
he only smiles at you, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your temple, his words spoken against your skin. “that’s right, baby.”
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thank you for reading, feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 🤍!!
a/n. i haven’t posted anything in so long so i cranked this out… i really wanted to post something and that video thankfully gave me a lil idea hehe :’-) i hope it doesn’t seem too rushed <3
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tojisbbg · 11 months
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𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆!
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❝but, you’re my baby, and i love you so much!❞  
♡ rin itoshi ♡
a/n: i kept getting tiktoks on my fyp of this trend and i couldn’t help but think of him. 
content: rin itoshi x reader, established relationship, gentlelover!rin, reader is a little mean, very fluffy, kinda short, not grammatically checked. 
---
it was almost nine and you were stressed. 
every little thing in this entire world was pissing you off because you couldn’t finish this stupid fucking project your professor decided to assign you this morning. to make things even better, it’s due before the beginning of class the next morning and it’s group work. 
surprise, surprise! your group mates are shit and the responsibility of the entire project was now shoved up your ass. 
how beautiful. 
you were barely finished with the other assignments that you received from your other classes, which meant that you’d have to pull another all-nighter. 
who the absolute fuck told you that it got better in college? ‘cause right now you want to kill yourself. 
you were trying to reach over to grab your binder when suddenly your hand knocked over the cup of coffee you had on your side. you gasped as your eyes widened.
it spilled all over your laptop. 
“no, no, no!! fuck.” you panicked, quickly ripping a bunch of tissue to wipe the liquid away without getting it further into your device. and just because god loves you so much, your phone began to buzz. 
you groaned in annoyance, leaning over to swipe the decline button. you upsettingly sighed, seeing that your laptop was already starting to malfunction, which meant that you were screwed. 
“ugh, what the fuck, man. i’m gonna end my life, i swear.” you grumbled to yourself. your phone began to ring again and your face had a scowl painted on it as you roughly grabbed the small device, swiping green. 
“y/n?” the familiar voice on the other end called out as you received the call. 
“yes, yes, what is it rin? i’m really busy right now and your constant calling is wasting my time. couldn’t you have just texted me instead?” you snapped at him, making him become silent for a few seconds and he was trying to process what the hell was going on.  
“are you okay? you seem upset.” rin responded in a worry tone, making you roll your eyes.
“no, rin. i’m actually so happy right now that i can die. whatever, why did you call?” you decided to cut to the chase, figuring that it was no use of getting too distracted right now. 
“it’s fine, i’ll see you at home.” he shortly said before hanging up, leaving you with your mouth open. 
“then what the fuck was the reason for calling me?!” you yelled at your screen, which was pointless because your lover wasn’t on the other line. you angrily slammed your phone on the table before going back to your mission of trying to revive your laptop. 
about thirty minutes has passed and you gave up on your laptop, deciding to finish your paper assignments first and then try again later. you furiously scribbled writing on your assignments, your handwriting progressively getting sloppier and uglier as you bullshitted them. 
you no longer cared if your work was absolute doodoo, you just wanted to get it done and over with. so invested in your work, you didn’t even notice when rin slipped inside your shared apartment. 
he usually had soccer practice which ended later on the day during the weekdays. the 6′1 striker entered the kitchen, rummaging through some things before his footsteps came towards where you sat.  
“this shitty ass laptop still won’t work!” you whined, banging your fists on the keyboard in frustration as you felt like ripping your hair out. 
rin pulled the chair next to you out so that he could sit down and watch his very stressed and mad girlfriend work. 
“wanna talk about it, baby?” rin finally got the courage to break the thick silence that was fogging up the entire room. 
“no.” you sharply answered back, your tone nearly slicing his heart. 
“you sure? taking a small break wouldn’t hurt.” he softly suggested, bringing a hand up to stroke your hair. for some odd reason, his persistence was getting on your nerves and you would then do something that you knew you’d instantly regret if not now then later. 
you angrily shoved off his hand, making rin look at you with a shocked and confused face at your unusual behavior. 
“for fucks sake, leave me alone! can’t you see that i’m trying to finish my work? you don’t have to worry about college like i do because you have your entire future set by kicking a stupid ball. i don’t! so just fucking go, rin!” you yelled at him, watching his face fall as he stood up from his chair. suddenly, the words on your tongue died down, your throat becoming dry. 
fuck. 
you knew you messed up real bad, but the damage has already been done. rin let out a heavy sigh before looking down at you with sad eyes. 
“okay, i’ll stop bugging you. also, your laptop most likely won’t turn back on, so stop wasting your time on bringing something back after destroying it. just use mine, it’s in my duffle bag.” rin dryly spoke before turning his heels, walking towards your shared bedroom before you heard the slam of the door shutting, making you flinch. 
“fuck you professor, i hope your wife leaves your for another man.” you swore under your breath, closing the lid of your dead laptop. you walked towards the sofa where rin’s duffle bag was, opening it to pull out his laptop for your use. 
you walked back to your spot, turning on his device to begin working. it was almost midnight, so, if god was on your side then you could hopefully finish the project by two in the morning. 
as soon as the laptop turned on, the first thing you were met with was his wallpaper which was set as a collage of your photos. you couldn’t help but take in a few minutes to stare at it, and as each minute passed, your heart began to ache even more. 
you knew that rin didn’t deserve to hear those words, but you couldn’t stop yourself from saying those awful things to him in the heat of the moment. shaking your head to shoo those distracting thoughts away, you retracted your focus back onto your project. 
---
you finished typing the last word on the report and you could almost shed happy tears. you were finally done with this shit, your hands shaking and your eyes begging to close. without hesitation, you submitted the work. who cares about checking for grammar issues when your soft bed was calling out for your ass. 
“not bad, it’s only one-thirty. hm, i guess i should eat before going to sleep since i’m kinda hungry.” you talked to yourself, shutting off rin’s laptop as you lazily made your way to the kitchen to fix yourself up some instant ramen. 
your eyes fell on the white plastic bag on the kitchen counter, an eyebrow cocking upwards as you curiously opened the bag. you gasped as you realized that it was your favorite takeout. 
“oh my god, i’m such a piece of shit.” you whispered, head hanging low as you thanked the heavens for blessing your with such a loving and kind boyfriend whom you didn’t deserve at all 
you eagerly reheated up the food in the microwave before speed walking back to the dining table. you settled your food down on the table, allowing it to cool while your pack your bag and put rin’s laptop on charge so that he could use it for his classes tomorrow. 
after eating and cleaning up, you decided to skip your usual night routine since you were pretty tired. you quickly brushed your teeth and went straight to the bedroom. 
you quietly opened the door, noticing how the lights were off and the only source that was providing some form of light inside your room was the small lamp on the side. 
tiptoeing to your side of the bed, you slipped under the covers as you sat up, leaning against the headboard. you could hear rin’s soft snores coming from the side, the cute man sleeping on his back as he faced the ceiling. 
your eyes scanned his features, which every nook and cranny of your brain had memorized. he looked so cute while he slept and an overwhelming wave of sadness hit you like a tsunami as you recalled the way you treated him earlier on the night. 
tears began to sting your eyes as guilt washed on your face, the warm liquid streaming down your face. without thinking twice, you climbed onto him as you straddled rin’s waist before hugging his sleeping form, burying your teary face in the crook of his neck while you sobbed. 
feeling the wet and warm tears stain the flesh of his neck, rin began to squirm in his sleep as he groaned. 
“what the hell?” rin groggily said, opening his sleep filled eyes as he saw a lump on top of him shaking and crying. he wrapped an arm around you before carefully sitting up, leaning against the headboard as he rubbed your back. 
you decided to face him, even though you knew you looked hideous. you face was probably wet and red like a tomato. 
“oh my god, you look even cuter now!” you cried even harder after taking one look at him, leaving rin nothing but confused as fuck. you peppered his face with kisses before wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as you pulled him into a hug. you squeezed him closer to you until it was humanly not possible. 
“i’m so sorry, rinnie! i was such a jerk to you all night because i was so upset about my stupid project. it’s just everything was getting me so mad ‘cause my group mates ditched me and my dumbass spilled coffee on my laptop, a-and the-then i-” you were choking on your tears and words from crying and talking to fast. 
“shh, it’s okay baby. i’m not upset because you reacted that way, i know you were stressed. we’re okay, y/n.” rin’s words were gentle as it helped you calm down from your crying frenzy. you raised your face up to look back at his face, seeing a soft and warm smile painted on his lips as his gorgeous teal eyes sparkled with love. 
“i know but you’re my baby! and i love you so much! god, i was so mean, how could i even say those things? i’m so, so, sorry, rinnie. i shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you i’mtheworstgirlfriendeverohmygodwhydon’tyouhateme.” you ugly sobbed, your words weren’t even coherent as rin couldn’t help but chuckle. 
he knew that you didn’t mean those words and he also knew that this would happen as well. once again, your gentle boyfriend knew you like the back of his hand. 
“ahh, what a crybaby. hm, you can make it up to me by giving me a smile. i want to see my girlfriend smile before i go to sleep, not in tears.” he playfully said, as you lifted your head to meet his eyes once more. the sight of such a domestic scene made your stomach fill with swarming butterflies. 
fuck, you just wanted to marry him. 
“i’m gonna eat you up if you don’t stop looking at me like that.” you poked his chest, making him laugh as wiped away your tears with his fingers. 
“and exactly how am i looking at you?” rin asked and you mumbled. 
“like you wanna grow old with me until i die.” you bluntly responded, making his smile widen. 
“and what if told you that it’s exactly what i want?” he gave you a cheeky grin, making you blush as a giggle left your lips. 
“then what’s stopping you, idiot? marry me! i do, i do, i do!!” you exclaimed before crashing your lips with his. you placed your hands on the sides of his face, pulling him closer to you as both of your lips molded into each other’s. rin’s arms securely wrapped around your waist, following the rhythm of your lips. 
the kiss wasn’t intense, it was sweet and lasting with a touch of innocence. it was a kiss in which you both enjoyed each other as lovers. and you loved this feeling, the feeling of breathing, tasting and touching him. 
your sweet, kind and gentle lover, itoshi rin. 
pulling away, you looked at him with adoring eyes, swiping away the strands of hair that covered his eyes. rin looked at you like you were the most beautiful and important thing in his life. 
to which you were. 
“i’ll make you my wife and keep you in my heart forever. i love you so much, y/n.” his heart swelled with his love for you. your eyes nearly shape shifted into hearts upon hearing his words. 
“i love you more, rinnie.” you smiled, placing a smooch on his lips, purposely making noise as he chuckled. 
“come on, let’s go to sleep. you have class early in the morning, i don’t want you to fall sick.” rin said and you nodded, the both of you getting comfortable on the bed. you scooched closer to your boyfriend, wrapping all your limbs around him as you placed your head on his chest. your ear was right on top of his heart, hearing the thumping noises of his heart beating. 
it brought you peace to know such a perfect man existed, alive and in your hold right now. his pulse lulled you to sleep and soon enough, you were knocked out. 
rin glanced down to his chest and saw you fast asleep, his lips curling upwards as he bent his head down to place kisses on your lips and forehead. 
“oh, before i forget.” he leaned over to grab your phone, unlocking the device as he went to the submission box of your project assignment. he unsubmitted the report, going to the title page as he erased the names of your group members. a satisfied smirk was plastered over his face as he resubmitted the finished project that had just your name on it. 
“tch, not giving those fuckers any credit for what was all you, my love. sleep tight.” he said before ending his words to himself with a yawn, his own eyes feeling heavy. you were very warm and soft, which meant that rin would be out like a light soon as well. 
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mangosrar · 3 months
Text
call it what you want pt5
matt sturniolo x fem reader.
y’all…….
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“hurry up we’re gonna be late” matt yelled out the car window. watching as you stomped down your drive way towards the car.
you got in the passenger seat, slumping down and throwing your back in the back. matt glanced over at you as he started to drive away. he took note of the way your eyes looked a little darker and droopier than normal and your skin looked duller than usual.
“what’s up with you today? you look uglier than usual” he asked.
you just sighed, keeping your gaze fixed on the world going by out the window.
he glanced over at you again, waiting for you to bite back.
“damn, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed” he laughed
“not today matt i’m not in the mood” you muttered, still not looking at him.
you closed your eyes for a second, preparing yourself for the insult that never came. sure matt was a douche bag but he was nice enough to not push you too far, and he knew you well enough to know when to stop.
you really just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. today was the 4 month anniversary of tours and elijahs breakup. it had completely knocked you off of your feet and it wasn’t even 9am. you weren’t sure why it was affecting you this much, but part of you knew it was the fact that you missed him deeply, you missed the way he always used to kiss the top of your head, the way he smelt. but you didn’t miss the way he used to lie to you, the way he manipulated and embarrassed you, and that was the only thing stopping you from letting this dark, cold feeling swallow you whole.
“i’ll pick you up before the game tomorrow” matt spoke, breaking the silence.
“i told you i’m not going” you snapped back at him.
“you can’t be serious y/n, jess went to all of my games you have to go” he said, raising his voice slightly.
“well then how about you ask jess to watch you instead of me” he kept his eyes trained on the road as you replied, turning to look at him with a sharp face.
“trust me if i could i would” he muttered.
“poor matt, jess won’t be there to kiss your boo boos when you get your ass beat at the game” you said, faking sadness.
“what like you used to do for Elijah?” matt said so quietly it was almost a whisper. he knew he struck a nerve, and honestly, he felt fucking horrible for what he had said.
there was a brief pause, you just stared at him with widened eyes, desperately trying to pull yourself together. even the sound of his name rolling off of matts tongue made your heart ache a little. matts jaw clenched and his knuckles turned white from how hard he was gripping the wheel, he didn’t even spare you a glance, keeping his eyes glued to the road ahead.
after a second of gawking at him, you swallowed and turned back around, once again staring out the window. you weren’t sure if it was the fact he was talking about elijah, or the fact that he knew what today was, that upset you more.
he knew and he still fucking said it, he knew how heartbroken you were when it ended, he knew what a terrible boyfriend he was to you, he knew just how bad Elijah claw marks were and he still said it.
and there wasn’t any way he could deny it, everyone saw how distraught you were when he left, even matt who hated your guts, had never mentioned anything about your ex boyfriend until this moment, so why was he doing it now?
-
the whole day had dragged. the second you arrived at school, you had leaped out of the car and headed as far away from matt as you could get. you couldn’t even stand the sight of him on a good day, let alone when he was throwing insults like that at you.
you had tried your very best to avoid seeing elijah all day, out of fear you might break down and start wailing in the middle of the hall, but to your demise, you had caught a glimpse of him coming out of his home room, laughing with his friends, he hadn’t even noticed you.
how was he not destroyed. you knew he probably didn’t even remember what today was.
“hey you okay?” nick whispered, nudging you.
you turned to him and nodded with a smile before turning to look at everyone else sitting around the table in their own conversation.
“you sure? you’ve been staring at the wall for almost 10 minutes” he spoke in a hushed voice, trying not to bring attention to the fact you were barely even there.
“yeah i’m just tired that’s all, english took it out of me” you said, breathing out a laugh through your nose while looking at him.
he didn’t even crack a smile, he just sighed and looked at you with a sad expression.
“i know what today is y/n” he paused, staring into your soul, “you don’t have to pretend your okay”. he brought his hand up to rest on you shoulder, giving it a small squeeze and nodding his head at you.
you just whispered a small “thankyou” and smiled at him before getting up and heading towards the bathroom. you just needed a moment to yourself, to recollect, a moment that no one could interrupt.
“y/n!” god no please spare me.
you kept on walking, desperately trying to get out of whatever situation he was about to put you in.
“i need to talk to you y/n don’t walk away from me”
“what elijah?!” you bawled. finally stopping and turning around to look at him as he walked towards you.
“matt sturniolo?” he questioned. you just rolled your eyes and looked away from him, crossing your arms over your chest. he didn’t even deserve a glance let alone the entertainment of this conversation.
“what have your parents said about this” and there it is.
“that’s none of your business eli” you snapped, still not looking at him.
he paused for a second, you could see him out the corner of your eye, studying your face.
“i mean this whole thing is a little suspicious, it’s only been what? 2 months since we broke up?” 4 months today actually. “and now you’re with this guy? was there something going on when we were together?” he too crossed his arms over his chest while leaning down towards you and squinting his eyes, condescending you.
you could see this coming from a mile off, he was always like this. he always tried to make you seem like a bad person just so his mishaps would be kept in the dark, it was just that now you could recognise it.
“i wasn’t the cheater elijah, you were.” you said, looking up and jabbing a finger at him.
he pulled back, letting his arms fall while laughing. what could possibly be funny to him?
suddenly it was like a flip had been switched, he had turned cold. he moved a step closer to you, before opening his mouth to speak.
“maybe if you weren’t so fucki-“
“hey baby”. if there was ever a moment that you were happy to see matt, it was this one.
he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close to his side, planting a kiss on your temple.
Elijah looked like someone had just slapped him straight across the face. his mouth was slightly agape, and eyes a little wide, staring at matt.
your whole body tensed and you sucked in a breath, patiently waiting for the ticking time bomb that was of matt sturniolo to go off.
matt kept his eyes trained on elijah, sending him a deathly glare. it was like they were wordlessly battling each-other, as you all stood there in complete silence, both of them having a death glare off and you, just frantically switching from watching one then the other, praying to god that this ends soon.
you couldn’t take the anticipation. you had to end whatever moment they were having and fast.
you placed your hand on matts chest and spoke up.
“you ready to go?”
“yeah” he replied instantly, not taking his eyes off of the man in front of him. matts face was stoic and cold, and if it wasn’t for a good cause it probably would have scared you a little.
just as you thought this was never going to end, you heard elijah scoff. you snapped your eyes to him as he began to walk away, but not before throwing you a disgusted look.
your body relaxed against matts, watching as he walked off and out of sight, letting out a breath you hadn’t even realised you were holding.
matt switched his gaze to you once elijah was out of sight, giving you a nudge as if to say “you good”. you couldn’t look at him, you just blinked at the spot where elijah used to be, before pushing matt off and beginning to hurriedly walk away, holding a hand to your forehead.
you heard him shout after you, but turning around and answering all of matts questions was the last thing you needed, so as soon as the school doors were in sight, you may had well have sprinted at them.
why did matt look so angry at Elijah? you knew he was supposed to be your fake boyfriend but that wasn’t fake. he looked like he wanted to rip elijahs face off.
how is he so good at this whole fake thing? you had one question from your parents and you almost crumbled there and then. and here matt was, silently threatening your ex boyfriend like it was an average friday activity.
why was elijah speaking to you? why did he care? he wasnt even upset when you guys broke up so why kick up a fuss now. maybe he just wanted to upset you, or maybe he finally regrets what he did.
you’re mind was moving at 100 miles per hour. matt, elijah, the game, your parents. there was too much going on, but somehow your thoughts couldn’t move an inch without bumping in to matt, and it was making you dizzy.
——————————————————————————
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writingmeraki · 2 months
Text
unsaid, unkept, ugly emotions.
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a seventeen hip hop unit imagines !
IN WHICH, the uglier side of feeling too much getting more messier than it already is for both parties involved.
(or in which for different reasons, it just seems you aren't meant to be.)
pairing : svt!hiphop!unit x gn!reader, friend's crush!seungcheol, best friend's other best friend!wonwoo, rival's friend!mingyu, rockstar! vernon.
genre : angst, no comfort. ( for now )
warnings : mentions of injuries, inaccurate basketball terms, cussing, messy, heartbreak, contemplation, arguments, miserable people, miscommunication, everyone gets hurt, a lot of unspoken feelings, like emphasis on that you may get annoyed. ( not proofread ; we die like hyyh yoonkook )
author's note : i tried so hard to make gyu's messy but i just couldn't ( you'll find out ) these plots are soo random and specific pls but so funnn to write! also me uploading this much is trying to make up for very less updates for the last months of 2023. I missed milestones and I want to make up for those soon too! gahh anyways let me know what you think of these, im actually nervous abt this ngl ( also i just noticed soo much friend drama oof-)
VOCAL UNIT VER. | PERFOMANCE UNIT VER.
word count : 4.1k ( they are getting longer...)
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ᯓ★ | seungcheol.
He was off limits.
From the moment you knew your best friend, Haewon, had a crush on him, he was not supposed to ever be in your radar of romantic boundaries as per the rules of being a best friend. 
Seeing her going crazy for a boy like him at first really made you question if there was something wrong with you because you just couldn’t quite see it.
Sure he was literally the definition of tall, blonde and gorgeous. Sure he had adorable dimples that made him look less intimidating than you thought he initially was. Sure he was also the frat president as well as the captain of the soccer team making you wonder how he was able to still balance getting great grades.
Well. There was a slight possibility you could see what others saw. 
Maybe even more when the time you tried to play wingman for Haewon at a party where you lost her because apparently she was looking for him but said guy turned up right beside you as you were contemplating on what would least likely not kill your liver if you had it resulting in having conversations about cherries ( you don’t even know ) and him trying to convince (gaslight) you into soccer being one of the greatest games of all time. 
You didn’t get convinced but for the time it felt right to agree to what he said if it meant those adorable dimples would show up when you did. 
You were so screwed. 
Another thing Choi Seungcheol had was a great memory, because he seemed to remember you when he saw you walking down the hallway with Haewon as he smiled so widely at you in greeting. 
“Haha yeah hey! um…This is Haewon by the way! Haewon, Seungcheol.” You had to nudge her to snap out of her daze and she extended her hand in greeting as he politely shook her hand. 
“That reminds me, I forgot to ask you last night but uh can I have your-”
“Oh would you look at that! We’re getting late for class! I’m so sorry Seungcheol, we’ll have to leave!” 
That moment you think you were so going to hell when you saw how quickly his smile fell and how his sparkly eyes dimmed down because it felt like you committed a sin then and there. You think you saved yourself from committing a sin but it didn’t feel less dreadful as you grabbed her hand and rushed as quickly as you could.
In the opposite direction of where your class was.
“WHAT WAS THAT-”
“Listen- when you were looking for him last night- I swear I don’t know how but he was right where I ended up sitting and he-well, we talked I suppose-?”
Her eyes widened at your words and you raised your hands in surrender, 
“I promise I didn’t even know when he showed up, I tried to message you and even find you but you seemed gone until the moment we were leaving.”
“Plus the reason I didn’t tell you last night was I was tired! I was here trying to play wingman while the person in love was seemingly gone-”
She sighed and nodded at you, “You don’t have to explain, I know he’s not your type, you made that clear a lot of times actually it’s kinda hilarious.” She giggled as she recalled the countless times you chastised her for daydreaming about him. But now, you couldn’t stop the stupid tinge of bitterness in your heart.
Right. Not my type. 
Suddenly her eyes widened as an idea struck her, “That’s it! He was gonna ask for your number right? You can try and set me up then!”
“I well- I don’t know-”
“Please! You know how I have been trying to get to know him even.”
You didn’t want to say it then but you thought about how trying meant actually doing something rather than just gazing from afar. At least become friends with him was the words you told her countless times but she paid no heed, retorting how it was not that easy.
But it was easy because what’s the worst that could happen? Him having a partner? So it wasn’t the end of the world, others existed! 
Too bad you were easy to persuade, questionably easy because all it took were her doe eyes pleading at you to agree.
“Fine- I’ll try- but no promises.”
As she hugged you and squealed words of gratefulness to you, you couldn’t quite put a finger on it then but, 
You didn’t understand why it felt a part of you couldn’t seem to share the same happiness, conceivably a lingering dread there that knew something was surely going to go wrong.
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✮⋆˙ | wonwoo.
Everytime Jeon Wonwoo had the ever so unfortunate ( according to him ) time to exist in the same room as you, it seemed like an impending doom for him. 
His heart felt weird, his stomach dropped, his throat parched.
He hated it. 
He was an individual who knew what they wanted in life. Never unsure nor second guessing, always able to classify their emotions in proper ways. Systematic is the right word. Able to know what exactly he wants to do in his career, how to behave with his friends, when to be serious and when to have ‘fun’. 
So what happens when you completely throw him off the rocks with your mere existence?
He hates you. That’s how he tags the emotions he feels when he sees you and what does hatred sprout? Indifference. 
Too many questions asked but it’s what Wonwoo declares. 
Though, he thinks the first mistake is to think he’d be able to avoid you considering the fact that you were his best friend/roommate’s good friend. Meaning you spent around twenty to twenty two hours at their place (Yes he counted) and he absolutely hated it.
He hated how your giggles would ring out in the entire apartment when Mingyu said a half-assed joke, it literally made his chest feel uneasy. He hated how your eyes would always twinkle when you would be talking to Mingyu, it made his stomach drop and sigh in disbelief. 
Was Mingyu that oblivious to how much you liked him?
Now this was a question that made Wonwoo almost throw up. Odd.
“You know if you don’t make a move, he won’t even know right? I know you think he’s one of the smartest but in the romance field, I think even fucking Jihoon beats him at that.” 
Or perhaps Wonwoo was just very oblivious to how much you liked him. 
You shook your head at Mingyu’s words as you both walked up to his apartment, the butterflies in your stomach already churning at the thought that Wonwoo was likely home. 
“And also it’s getting concerning how much time you spend in my apartment for the sake of him, like at this point just move in you creep—HEY!Ow!— that hurt you ass!”
“It’s not that easy,Gyu,he’s – he’s Wonwoo for God’s sake!”
“That’s exactly why it’s easy! It’s Wonwoo! Be direct with him. I’ve known him for years and trust me, he won’t know until you spit it out to him!”
Maybe…maybe he was right. Afterall he had been friends with Wonwoo before even knowing you.
“What if he doesn’t even feel the same–”
“Be serious. He literally looks like a lovesick fool when you’re over–”
“Maybe he’s just sick of me coming over.”
Mingyu stopped walking and you didn’t even realize until you were a few steps ahead. Pausing when you finally saw he wasn’t beside you.
His expression was like he was close to ripping out his hair from frustration while also being flabbergasted. It was kinda hilarious and you had to gulp to prevent laughing because you were sure he might just kill you.
“Okay! Okay, fine– I'll listen to you– maybe not confess today! But I'll ask if we can hangout or something,happy?”
“Very.” 
You rolled your eyes at his words as you both began climbing up the stairs, telling him to shush with his teasing as the tips of your ears began to feel warm and the blood rushed to your cheeks with every scenario you imagined.
Maybe if you thought that the upcoming scenario would ever occur. it would have hurt less. 
As you waited for Mingyu to pull out his keys, you could feel your nerves igniting through your skin and your stomach churning. But before Mingyu could insert the key, the door opened.
You wouldn’t have questioned anything, if it weren’t for the obvious messy hair, hickey marks trailing down her exposed neck and of course, the star of your daydreams right behind her, standing with a surprised face.
It was obvious what had occurred, the confirmation lying in the bruises on his neck. 
“Woah–uh.” Mingyu stuttered awkwardly, and you could feel his sympathy as he glanced at you. You couldn’t think of anything else other than how…right you were and how wrong Mingyu was.
You didn’t know who she was but it wasn’t her fault. Or anyone’s. Maybe yours. So as a weird tension simmered through the air, you looked away from them and just turned to Mingyu. 
And for the first time in his life probably, he was lost. Jeon Wonwoo was lost because why did he just feel like he committed a crime when he wasn’t even yours anyways?
He hated the way you looked away, not missing the hurt that flashed across your eyes as you realized what he probably was doing. 
You didn’t even notice she’d already left, smiling at Wonwoo and signing him to call her back, again. Probably not the first time, you thought.
“Uh-Gyu- I’ll go now, It’s getting late for me anyways,”
You really tried to stop your voice from cracking, the lump in your throat making you want to choke and die then and there. So you just looked at Mingyu, purposefully ignoring the way he looked at you in sympathy. 
His stare seemed to burn into your side profile. The words on the tip of his tongue, but what? It all felt like a lot but nothing at the same time. Wonwoo didn’t know what to say. 
Nodding goodbye to Mingyu and glancing at Wonwoo, offering a tight lipped smile as you waved, and then without saying anything you turned around. 
Mingyu frowned. His best friend couldn’t own up to his feelings for you and just when you were about to take a step forward, he somehow ended up fucking it up completely. 
What a mess. 
“Come on, we need to talk.”
Mingyu said seriously, putting an arm over Wonwoo’s shoulders, albeit a little forcefully which caused the other boy to almost stumble over. 
It seemed it was now up to him now to sort out this mess and hopefully it doesn’t get worse from here.
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✩₊˚. | mingyu.
Being the new captain of the basketball team had its perks. Sure, you now officially got tagged as a ‘jock’, a title in itself that held its own benefits, probably more than just when you were another player in the team. 
But its disadvantages seemed more at the moment when you found yourself under the angered gaze of none other than Yoon Jiwoo. Another player of the basketball team. Shooting guard was the position.
By all means, it wasn’t your fault she was not captain, it was her own actions that did not get her the position. And plus, it wasn’t like it was bad not being a captain, Yeri was a small forward, yet probably the best one at it. So it was at the end of the day, nothing to you but just more responsibilities with the title. 
Plus, it was also voted by the rest of the players that you deserved to be captain this time when it was time to appoint a new captain. Jiwoo had been a captain before Lisa became that year, but she left and so there had to be a new choice made. 
With Jiwoo’s unfair hatred towards you, also came a similar animosity from her group of friends. Well you think Jiwoo wants them to share the same feelings as she does but you doubt they care enough, usually neutral towards you or sympathetic even as they tried to reason her animosity being useless.
They were five or six if you could remember correctly from the times they’d drop her to practice or come to pick her up sometimes. Apparently one of them was her cousin Yoon Jeonghan and you could surely see the similarities in them from the way unrealistically attractive they both looked. 
But the one that stuck out most to you was Kim Mingyu. Her best friend. And the one who supposedly hated you the most, after her that is.
Then why did he feel anything but hate? He couldn’t stop looking at you during your practice when he stuck around to wait for Jiwoo, as if in a trance as his gaze remained on you.
He couldn’t stop the way his heart sped up when you grinned so widely as you scored, tackling your teammate in a hug. Why was he suddenly envious of the people who got to experience your joy? 
In his defense, he liked you way before you were even captain. It was probably since the day he first saw you try for the teams and he thinks it was fate that he got to stumble onto you that one sunny afternoon. 
You were nervous for your trials and he was nervous from the way your hair prettily rested on your cheeks and made you almost glow in the sun. Yeah, he was convinced it was love at first sight.
Though he feels liking his best friend’s rival was…confusing. He didn’t know if he could take a side or if he should even question taking a side. 
“You pushed them on purpose Jiwoo!” Yeri yelled at her as she held you upright. You couldn’t even make out some of the words as you focused on the pain shooting up your ankle from the way it twisted. 
“We all saw it, stop acting like you did nothing!”
“Exactly, you have this weird hate boner for them since you couldn’t get your stupid captain title!” 
You were sure the first voice was Chaewon while the other was Yeri.
“Why are you all ganging up on me? It wasn’t on purpose! Ask-ask someone else as well!” Her voice got louder and louder as she finished her sentence. She didn’t expect people to take your side. Although her plan was just a little shove to keep you off balance as she got the ball in her hand, she did not expect you to twist your ankle completely. 
“It’s fine- just- just leave it. It was a mistake, I just-” Your words were cut off as you hissed out in pain again as you attempted to get up, only to tumble down again, luckily held up by Yeri and Chaewon.
They sat you down on the bench as they huddled around you in a panic. You pulled off your shoes, scrunching your nose from the smell but the pain quickly took your focus from that.
 “Hey! What’s going on?” You heard someone say as they entered, their voice familiar to you. Mingyu had come to pick up Jiwoo as usual, not knowing she left sneakily when they were focused on you, when he saw everyone huddled together, confused when he couldn’t see you amongst the first few he saw. 
He didn’t need to peek over due to his well…giant form, but he saw you sat down in the middle as he got closer, caressing your leg. His eyes widened when he saw your ankle swollen up and an angry red shade that was definitely not natural.
“Shit that looks bad.” You looked up and you swore you thought you were hallucinating. Because no way was Kim Mingyu out of everyone looking at you with nothing but worry and concern. He still looked…good. As always. Per usual. You think you got distracted from your pain for just a minute as you stared at him for a few seconds, him seemingly not noticing as he kept his eyes on your ankle.
“Blame your girlfriend.” Yeri scowled as she spitefully retorted, as Chaewon dug her elbow into her side to which she yelped and glared at her. 
“Girlfriend?” He turned his attention towards her, resembling a confused puppy as he raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“Yeri.” You spoke up firmly before she could say anything, looking at her with a look that told her to keep her mouth shut,not wanting to make this a bigger scene than it already was. She sighed and rolled her eyes, ultimately not saying anything.
You moved your leg around for a bit, deciding you should give it a go again to stand up, and drag yourself to the infirmary. And when you did stand up, it seemed you really overestimated yourself or perhaps underestimated your injury because next thing you knew you lost balance again.
But lucky for you, instead of landing right on the wooden floors and having a blistered lip, you landed right on Kim Mingyu. It only occurred to you now just how much taller than you he was when his whole form almost engulfed you.
“Woah. Take it easy, you’ll get hurt more.” He had wrapped one hand on your waist while the other held your arm. You think his touch burnt you more than anything because you felt yourself begin to warm up. 
“How about I take you to the infirmary? Sorry I didn’t say it sooner, I was just confused on what Yeri said and-”
“It’s-uh-it’s fine- I’ll go by myself-”
“Are you crazy?! You can’t even stand!”
You blinked, taken aback by his words, even more so with just how concerned he seemed,his eyes glistening with it. 
Kim Mingyu was someone you thought you knew but apparently you did not because a few minutes later, you found yourself being piggy-backed by him to the infirmary as he was scolding you about taking better care of yourself. 
You tried to reason that Yeri and Chaewon would take you but they both were adamant on Mingyu taking you, while they would go and look for a certain someone ( You prayed they would not be kicked out of the team).
His grip on your thighs, his shampoo that you could smell, his shoulders that were just so…so broad you couldn’t even fully wrap your arms around them…just him felt so overwhelming. Your pain was long forgotten as you tried not to freak out over how you were currently feeling over him.
But with the way he seemed, the way he acted, was it wrong to assume that perhaps, there was a possibility these feelings weren’t so one-sided?
Well, only one way to find out. 
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₊˚⊹⋆ | vernon.
They say people shine their best when they are in their element doing what they love. But to you, Chwe Vernon shone even in the dimmest lights as he sat down in front of you.
It was just a few minutes before their gig. Him and his friends ; Jungkook, Mingyu and Eunwoo from what you remember, were all a part of an upcoming rock band. They were actually gaining more fame as time passed and you were proud to be one of the few who witnessed their growth from the beginning. 
They began from your small bar right in the downtown area where you worked as a bartender, you remembered their first performance, you were told it was their first gig actually. Now they are close to being signed up by a company, still wanting to perform one last time at the place where it all began. 
To you, he was the boy you’d always admire from afar, knowing there was no actual probability of him seeing you in that light. Even now, considering their gaining fame, you’d see the type of people that would swoon over him, even a few celebrities and models you remember. 
He was…a star. Far away and admirable but never in your reach. And stars are better to admire than seek anyways.
Though, it seemed your star wasn’t that far away from you as you thought. In fact he was much closer to you than you could even comprehend. 
In other words, Chwe Vernon was head over heels from you. Since the first time he performed and spotted you when you were busy serving drinks, since the time you told him how great they performed as he sat down in front of you while you talked about what interested you, your eyes gleaming under the dim bar light. And he thinks it was very much obvious what felt when he saw your wide grin, dimples poking out as you finally served him his drink. 
Whisky wasn’t something he liked, but you had recommended a certain combination with it and he thinks nothing else tasted sweeter that day. 
Sadly everyone around you but you saw that. Too focused on how you weren’t ever going to be a possibility because you thought he was just unattainable instead of thinking of the probability of just how much he may have liked you. 
“Nervous?” You smiled at him as you finished setting up the remaining glasses for the night, ready to serve knowing it would be a very busier night than usual due to them performing. 
Yes, yes he was nervous but not because of performing but because he was about to confess. 
“Haha- yeah- no! I mean uhm no- we’re- we’ll be fine.” He wanted to cuss at himself for stuttering, probably looking foolish, but he thought it was fine when he heard your giggle as you shook your head. 
“Oh you are. You’re already the best and I assume and hope it’ll only get better from now on.”
With you. It would get better with you because anything feels better with you. 
He wishes he could say it out loud, but maybe soon enough. That is if you don’t reject him. Yeah he doesn’t know what he’ll do if you do. Throw up probably. Or die. Dying seems good actually, he thinks. 
“Vernon? Here.” He snapped out of his thoughts as he blinked, looking down at the drink in front of him, confused because he didn’t order anything.
“On the house, from me. It’s my favorite drink actually. I-uh hope you like it.” He thinks even if you served him garbage he’d still be delighted, extreme but meh it was close to how he fell for you. Extreme and down bad.
“Oh then I’ll love it for sure.” Because I love you. 
Your grin grew wider as you were about to say something, you heard your name being called by your co-worker.
“Oh- I’m sorry I have to go now! I’ll be here when you perform for sure! Good luck!” 
“It’s okay, you’ll be here afterward.” 
You looked at him apologetically as he shook his head, knowing you were just doing your job and nodding to you to go, to which you waved goodbye at him. 
Perhaps you really underestimated your own words because apparently you couldn’t make it there. You were called by your mother who had gotten sick at home and needed someone to take care of her. 
You thought about whether you should inform Vernon but figured it wouldn’t be too much of a big deal, telling your co-worker to let him know in case he asked afterwards but you doubt he would, probably exhausted after the long night. You forgot your co-worker was switching shifts mid-way with another one, one who would obviously not know your whereabouts. 
And now as he got ready to sing the song he’d written for you, for you with very obvious lyrics about you, the moments with you, he searched for you but…you were nowhere. 
You weren’t there. 
Did you find out? Did you know? Did you think it was too much? 
All the questions arose in his mind as he shut his eyes and breathed in to calm himself. He couldn’t lose his cool on stage when there were so many fans waiting for him to perform.
He looked at his bandmates, and shook his head, not wanting to look at them again as they looked at him sympathetically.
“That’s it for tonight! We hope you continue supporting us in the future! Have a goodnight Seoul!” 
He said and this time as he felt anything but content, his heart heavier than ever and mind in a haze. 
Maybe in this lifetime, you’d both remain two separate stars. Far and never-crossing. 
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all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.
writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024
feedback is always appreciated 💌
links : main navi ! | svt masterlist !
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itoshiexx · 7 months
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scraps
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synopsis: you give him all you have. it's time to collect the scraps before there is nothing left.
pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 797 | warnings: established relationship, angst
notes: do u guys remember the sae drabble i told y'all about some time ago? well, my depressive ass decided to post it now. i'm sorry in advance.
masterlist
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the silence is deafening. it lingers thick and heavy in the air, nearly making you choke on nothing — or perhaps you’re choking on all the things you want to say that are stuck in your throat. you can feel your whole body trembling as the anxiety creeps further in, and you wrap your arms around yourself to try and bring some comfort. 
before, it was someone else’s arms that gave you peace, but lately, it has only been torment. 
it is why you’re standing in the living room of your shared apartment, staring at the teal eyes of itoshi sae while trying to hold back your own tears. it hurts. it hurts to look at him and remember the way he used one of your weaknesses against you in the argument you had minutes before, as if stabbing a wound that didn’t quite close properly, tearing the skin at the seams and turning it into a bigger, uglier, messier scar. 
you feel violated. 
perhaps you should have known better. maybe, if you listened to your mother, you wouldn’t have shown so much of yourself to sae, basking in a vulnerability that could only come back to bite you in the end. you gave him all the tools to hurt you where it stings most, and there was no one to blame but yourself for that. 
love made you foolish. you were tired. 
“i don’t think i can do this anymore, sae.” your voice is meek and hollow. only a shell of the person you used to be — the one that bled through its heart until all the life was drained. 
“what’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, brow arched. defensive. ready to hurt you some more in case he became slightly uncomfortable. 
you breathe. in and out. in and out. rubbing your arm with your own hand, whispering to yourself under your breath that everything was going to be alright. even if it felt like nothing but that. 
“you… you’re hurting me, sae,” you manage to say with the lump in your throat. “you have been for a while. and i try to be better, but i… i can’t do this alone. and you’re not even trying.”
the tears welled up in your lash line start to fall again, and at this point, you know it’s useless to try and stop them. you also know they are the only thing that keep you sane, even if it feels like you’re losing your mind at every breath you take. 
sae doesn’t say anything, and you actually consider that a blessing. you don’t know how much more of his venomous words you can take before it destroys you completely from the inside out. something tells you his toxin has been spreading through your body for a while, although you only started to notice recently, when the fights got worse.
how long has he been killing you?
the weight of this question is enough to spike your anxiety once again, and you dig your nails on the skin of your arms to try to detain these overwhelming feelings, squeezing your eyes shut.
you nearly jump when you feel his strong arms circling your shoulders, bringing your head to his chest. you squirm and try to fight it — fight him —, but sae is stronger and more stubborn than you could ever be, and all you can do is cry harder and blow weak punches to his torso. 
“i’m sorry,” he says. it’s not the first time. the words make your stupid heart flutter with hope, but the hurt brings you back to reality. it’s not the first time, and he has done nothing to change for the better. he never fucking listens.
“you’re so mean,” you cry, ceasing the punches due to your lack of strength. you can barely keep standing, and you’re sure that his hold is the only thing keeping you from falling. “why are you so mean to me, sae?”
he’s silent again. you keep going. “i gave you my everything. i loved you with all i had. i-i opened up to you like never before, and you… you just…”
your stomach sinks. there aren’t even words to express what you’re feeling nor what he’s doing to you — the many ways he has been destroying what you spent years trying to put back together.
you were tired. 
in a final attempt to save what’s left of you, you raise your head from his chest to look deep into his aquamarine eyes. you want him to look at yours, too. 
“sae,” your voice is nothing more than a hollow whisper. you take a deep breath, garning all the strength and courage you can.
and then, you plea for the last time:
“please, give back what’s left of my heart.”
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© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
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my-love-is-sunlight · 3 months
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Red satin and a sundress
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Sanji x gardener!reader
Warnings: Fluff, confession, angry reader (just for a moment) fem reader
Word count: 1,944 words
Summary: In which Sanji confesses his love for you but you don’t understand what’s happening. From my gardener!reader series but can be read as a stand alone
˖°𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧.𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
“Are you afraid?” Yo dropped your pencil, turned eyes wide and a gasp escaped your mouth “Robin you scared me half to death!” You collected the pencil from the floor as the woman sat in front of you with a coffee mug in hand “Are you?” You looked at her puzzled “Afraid of what?” Robin motioned her head to where you were once glancing before she made you jump in your seat, the cook serving an afternoon drink to Nami “Sanji?” You laughed “The only man that scares me a little in this ship is probably Zoro” you said while looking back at your notebook “I meant, are you afraid to love, y/n?” Robin asked while pointing at the sketch of the blonde you had made beside your annotations. Red colored your face, hands sweaty “Quite the contrary actually… but him” you glanced at Sanji again as he swooned around the annoyed navigator “I don’t think he likes me the way I do, I just happen to be a woman and he happens to love them” the black haired woman giggled as you looked at her confused once more “If you allowed to open yourself to him, I’m sure you’ll change your mind…”
So you did
You talked and talked to Sanji, spending time together, flirting back every now and then even if it made you mad nervous and making sure he noticed how you’ll treat him differently from the rest, you were patient, understanding and caring. Of course he didn’t stop being a huge flirt with every single woman he’ll stumble upon on, but he did something more meaningful for you , he made you a space in his heart. He would tell you about his dream, his passions, his past and just all about him, parts no one else saw but you, as well as he saw parts of you one else did, and eventually Sanji realized that love wasn’t always loud and over the top, love was looking at your person and feeling safe, warm and at peace. So yeah maybe he would skip and spin while serving Robin a coffee and would make heart eyes whenever Nami addressed him, but with you, he was himself and nothing else.
“Are you coming to the Island?” You were leaning in the door frame of the kitchen, Sanji jumped, he was seated at the counter with a cooking book in hand absolutely lost in thought “Oh Flower! Didn’t see you there” he closed it immediately as he saw you standing in the room “No dear I… I’m staying to keep watch on the ship!” You frowned.
This last week the cook had been acting quite strange, whenever you wanted to initiate a conversation he would cut it short, whenever your hands brushed he would back up, his eyes wouldn’t even cross your way. This was absolutely weird behavior considering you two were considerably more close than anyone in the crew, you hoped to talk to him about the matter during a walk around the Island “But you always restock the fridge” you walked closer which made him flinch “I gave the stupid moss head the list of things we need, I’ll wait here!” a piercing silence filled the room, he felt distant “Sanji what’s wro-“ you were loudly interrupted by Luffy who barged in “Y/n!!! Are you coming or not?”
“Yes, I guess I am”
Did you smell? Did you said or do something wrong? Did you looked uglier? Was there something different? Was he bored of you? He was probably all this time super sweet to you for mere entertainment right? A million questions overwhelmed you, you just couldn’t place what had possibly changed between you two.
“Y/n? Are you even listening?” After buying new plants and seeds for the garden, you decided to join Nami and Robin at the local boutique, you needed a distraction but it seemed you were the one distracting yourself “Is there something wrong?” Robin asked quite worried, you shook your head and tried to brush it off but your hands grew green moss and sharp roses, you couldn’t hide your emotions even if you tried. The two girls shared a look, they respected your decision to not talk about the matter and they were not gonna pressure you to say anything you didn’t want to “How about we find you a new sundress?” Nami smiled your way “Nah, I’m a gardener, dresses are not very practical”
But you underestimated the navigators persuasive abilities, now you had tried 6 dresses already, none of them convincing enough for your friend. You heard Robin’s muffled laugh coming form outside the dresser “I had never seen such a serious hunt for a dress” you sighed “Tell me about it” yet another dress appeared hanging in the door behind you “Ow c’mon you guys this is fun! I’m having fun” Nami defended. You tried on the next dress and for your surprise it planted a smile on your face, it was red and it tied with a delicate bow in the front, giving apace to show all the beautiful jewelry you always wore around your neck, with short princess like puffy sleeves with an opening in the side of your legs that showed a white fabric with red flowers under it. As you came out of the dresser and spinned around for your friends, it was like you had completely forgotten about the cook “I am amazingggg” Robin clapped at Namis incredible styling skills “Are you sure you still want to be a pirate?” You asked her, smile wide “I can be a pirate AND a stylist” she winked
You decided to head back to the Sunny, inevitably insecurity made its way trough your stomach, you still weren’t ready to face Sanji about whatever the hell he had going on. You arrived and to your surprise there was no sight of him, you thought he was keeping an eye on the ship… you payed it no mind and went to your room to cool off for the day. After putting your shopping away, you decided to slip on the red sundress and have a little picnic by yourself, picking the fresh fruit from your garden and reading while sitting in the sunset sounded like a perfect plan for you… but it seemed like someone beat you to it.
As you walked closer to the garden delicious smells filled your senses, it made you close your eyes in enjoyment and took in a big breath, confused but curious you looked for the source of the smell. There standing next to two beautiful plated dinners in a picnic blanket, a rose and a candle in the middle of the food and drinks already poured in was Sanji, who played with nervous hands with the ring you had gifted him that now hanged form his neck. He looked handsomely dressed in coincidentally a red satin shirt, buttons loosened up, sleeves were up showing his strong arms, formal black pants and he had gelled his hair back enough to show both of his ocean blue eyes that enchanted you and most importantly no cigarette in sight! “Sanji? What the hell is happening?” The blonde cook surely didn’t expected you to show up in such a beautiful dress, mouth agape he stuttered “I.. uhm” you got closer and dismissed the book in your hands, now you really could witness how nervous the man was, cheeks and ears red and shaky breath.
You looked… upset? confused? Sanji couldn’t place the look in your face, he was already nervous looking at you and now he felt sick as he witnessed your brows scrunch together at his sight “I made this for you” was all he could let out, but you couldn’t even look at the scenery as you frantically searched for his gaze “Are you serious?” You let out a sarcastic laugh “You really think I’m just gonna ignore the fact you suddenly started to avoid me like the plague and was just overall rude to me just because you did a picnic for me?!” What? “What?” He didn’t understand what was happening, him rude? To you? That sounded atrocious. All around you the plants in the garden grew and surrounded your figure “I am not just one of your lady friends thats gonna fall for your stupid games Sanji. If you really think you can just ignore me because you got bored of me and then try and win me back with a flirty date night you’re out of your mind”
Then everything clicked in the cooks mind, he had indeed messed up. He had been planing this whole thing for so long, down to every last detail that being around you made him nervous and he would’ve quite probably spoiled everything, so he didn’t notice how to you, who had no clue about what was happening, his behavior may have came across as rude. You shook your head, you didn’t even wanted answers anymore “This is stupid” as you tried to turn around and leave, Sanji stopped you by pulling your wrist which made you stumble into his embrace; as he held you close you could listen to his heart and swore you could feel it against your own skin, it was pounding like crazy “It would be impossible for me to treat you like a simple fling my love, for me you’re my forever”
Now the one nervous and embarrassed was you, his voice echoed through his chest as you started to realize what was actually going on, the plants that once surrounded you now gone “I was so busy trying to make this picnic perfect for you that I didn’t notice how I was acting, the mere thought of you made my heart stop” you stepped back a little to look at his face, Oh~ “I’m really really stupid aren’t I?” You whispered as your face matched the color of both your garments, your head had played terrible tricks on you, the blonde just laughed “Sunlight, were both stupid” time seemed to had stopped around you, Sanji had positioned one hand in your lower back while the other held your face, yours intertwined with his chest. Suddenly everything seemed to make sense, you were supposed to he right there right in that moment; In the Sunny that held your dearest memories and favorite people, with waves that crashed in like an old tune, in your sacred garden your safe place, sunset shining from behind the man you had poured your heart out to making him look like a being of light and warmth, you had dreamt of this “You know what would be pretty stupid of us?” your lips brushed as you stand on your tip toes “If we didn’t kissed” you said before closing the space between you.
And finally you kissed him, like a so long awaited promise you had made yourselves finally coming true, your hands traveled to the back of his neck to deepened the kiss, as if you didn’t wanted him to run away. Your breaths danced with the breeze of the ocean as your hearts felt finally full, flowers bloomed from your head and hands inter-wining Sanji with you. You gasped for air and broke the kiss, your eyes immediately looking for one another, comfortable silence and sweet smiles in front of the sunset was all that could be heard, before Sanji spoke “Could you please break this spell you’ve casted upon me, and please be mine?”
“Yes, yes I can”
And finally you could confidently say that you are not afraid to love, as long as it’s him
˖°𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧.𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
Omg I wrote this like 3 different times but here it is they finally said it WOOO. Like always feel free to suggest scenarios for these two idiots and correct me if I made any mistakes English is not my first language 🫶🏻
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