#someone who doesn't see depth in people or situations | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heart2beom · 1 year

Text

cliché

pairing: bsf!yeonjun x reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, crack, little angst

synopsis: after yeonjun hears you referring to him as someone who's like a brother ...he tries his hardest to make you see him as a potential boyfriend.

or in which you're perplexed at all the movie hangouts your friend has been initiating.

warning: mature language, reader is assumed to be fem

notes: honestly, i always try to cut down the word count to make it more available for people who only read drabbles/blurbs but i just CANT. so here's another short oneshot T-T and as always, reblog to help the algorithm pick up on this :D

yeonjun was confused walking back home -- no, the whole day, he was disturbed. the reason for this was yesterday...when he went to get drinks for both you and him at a frat party.

the crowds were insanely hard to get through (and it didn't help that people kept on stopping him to 'catch up' or whatnot) so it took him more than fifty minutes to come back with the drinks he promised to get.

but it looked like it was too late because the people you were surrounding yourself with when yeonjun was there...disappeared. instead, you're bundled up, alone in a corner, with a guy he does not know. which was already weird because yeonjun knew everybody, and that was enough reason for him to hurry his ass up through sweaty frat drunks and make sure the unknown guy isn't some sleazeball.

that time he wasn't aware that he rolled his eyes but he did conciously plan to squeeze himself into the conversation...and technically cockblock.

but when he neared you...that's when his world shattered...on more dramatic terms. it was more like his confidence was shot down to the deepest depths of hell.

"oh, yeonjun? pfft, he's like a brother!"

even though it was almost barely audible due to the blasting music, 'brother' to his ears were magnified -- the word circling through his head.

brother. brother?!

and as a result of this baffling situation, he had backed himself in an opposing corner with your cup in his right and his cup in his left, way further than you now, thinking of where did it go wrong?

he's never had someone friend-zone him -- for heavensake, he's yeonjun, he's aware of how attractive he is. but brother-zone? that was even worse of an attack!

it doesn't matter that you said it -- come on, that's barely the case. it's the fact that someone was so unattracted to him that he was seen as a sibling.

sure, you and yeonjun were a sort of bunch that have been together since... forever, really. seriously, you were friends since elementary -- when you joined the school, fourth grade, mindlessly kicking rocks at recess he approached you like the social butterfly kid that he was, asking you if you wanted to come play with his friends.

once he took another sip of the red cup in his right hand, the fruity punch being way too overbearing (just how'd you like it), he furrowed his brows together.

he definitely doesn't see you as a sister.

he'd have to admit that when middle school hit and his puberty was acting up around ...the seventh grade? he was convinced that he would eventually marry you like the way his parents were. a brother wouldn't have felt that way about his sister! normally that is...

granted, he mostly blamed that on the first strikes of puberty because right after middle school, he moved on from the thought -- completely abandoning his pre-puberty dreams, but that was besides the point!

he was getting nauseous from the sweetness of his drink and the further he thought about the way you thought of him, he felt that he would ruin the party by vomiting on someone.

his night was officially ruined. absolutely, fundementally, literally ruined.

and thats how he found himself unfocused on everything around him the next day, finally making the decision to consult with his roommates about this frankly, very big conundrum.

"you can't just purposefully leave out important details? like, how am i supposed to diagnose you properly bro?" beomgyu asked as he spammed the keys on his controller.

"you're not diagnosing me--" yeonjun exhaled, wanting to to keep the banter to the minimum in respect to the issue he's facing. "literally what do you think we're doing right now?"

"i'm going to be completely honest and say ...i have no idea-- shit, what the fuck are you doing heeseung? jump! jump!" he yelled towards the big screen in front of him.

yeonjun groaned, turning his head to behind the couch. "soobin, it's not too late to help out your only friend!" he yelled out in hopes of it reaching the guy's bedroom.

and with no response, he turned back to watching the game beomgyu was playing. "god, you know how many times i gave that guy life changing advice on women?"

"and this is how he repays me?"

beomgyu nodded along to whatever yeonjun was mumbling about until the brunette magically connected dots and euphoric realization hit him. beomgyu almost scrambled around to completely face him this time, "hold on, hold on. yeonjun you lost me, are you having girl problems?"

to that, yeonjun rolled his eyes. "i wouldn't call it 'girl problems', that sounds like a problem soobin would have."

"uh-huh ...uh-huh. no, no yeah." beomgyu said nodding mindlessly to save the guy some face. "heeseung i'm logging off dude, yeonjuns got girl problems."

yeonjun just deadpanned to the back of the guys head, having no will to correct him.

he wanted to get the pending issue out of the way first.

it was more situated a few minutes later. instead of beomgyu sitting on the floor criss crossed, leaned on the couch yeonjun was sitting on, beomgyu was now sitting on the chair next to the couch, his elbows on his knees, brows deeply furrowed.

and not to forget yeonjun's pen and paper in hand.

"so... you're trying to get a girl to like you?"

"not like. i want her to see me as someone she would want as a boyfrie--" when he saw beomgyus brow raising up as to say 'whats the difference' he cleared his throat. "yea, basically."

"don't you know how to do that though?"

he shrugged, "it's different this time."

"how?"

"trust me, it's very different."

"okay but how?"

"you'd be the last person i'd ask for an interrogation beomgyu, that'd be a task for like... taehyun or something."

"i'm sorry that i need to understand my client first--"

"i am not your client" yeonjun said, rolling his eyes.

"what's going on here?", yeonjun turned his head to see soobin behind the kitchen island, scooping himself some icecream.

"dude, where were you when i needed you?", yeonjun asked.

"me and yj are holding a dating therapy session."

yeonjun turned his head to beomgyu, "again, it's not a therapy sessio--"

"you're getting dating advice from beomgyu?" soobin asked, his face scrunched up doubting if it really got this bad.

and back to soobin. "when you say it like that.." "soobin can you please leave yeonjun alone? he's in a very vulnerable state right now"

then beomgyu again. "i'm seriously going to beat you up." he said, biting his bottom lip and raising his fist against his roommate. beomgyu immediately jumps dramatically, shielding himself with his arms up.

"see? he's getting violent!"

soobin finally plopped on the couch next to yeonjun with his cup of icecream. "explain it to me, maybe i can help you out."

"i'll save you the trouble, he's not explaining for whatever reason--"

"a girl said that i'm like a brother to her." yeonjun reluctantly mumbled.

a wave of silence hit the dorm, for a minute yeonjun thought they just didn't hear him and to be completely honest, he was about to thank the gods because he regretted saying anything the moment he did, but that thought was immediately shot down when both sides of his ears were being blasted by humiliating laughter.

soobin got up, patting yeonjun's shoulder as reassurance, still laughing. "yeah, good luck with that hyung."

"okay, it's not even that bad--"

"dude, not even cha eunwoo would survive the sibling zone." beomgyu said, a hard reality check for yeonjun. "though hyunbin might.." he mumbled to himself. yeonjun caught it though, but it didn't matter. yeonjun was no hyunbin.

"fuck." he breathed out, the utensils he was holding had lesser grip on them as he just stared into nothingness. beomgyu was right. he's forever stuck as a brother in your eyes.

but then a ring of his phone snaps him out of it.

when he checks the id, his ambition is restored almost immediately for whatever reason; it was you.

"yo why are you smiling?", beomgyu said trying to peep at yeonjun's phone, but yeonjun reflexes took over, and he immediately turned his phone off.

"beomgyu, don't you think i kind of resemble hyunbin?" he said with a head tilt and an overconfident smirk, talking like he just had an epiphany.

"the one from crash landing on you? uh no."

yeonjun jumped from the couch a new man, his pen and paper in one hand and his ringing phone on the other. he finally faced beomgyu as the man he was, choi motherfucking yeonjun. "i gotta answer this call...and also, if you ask anybody who my celebrity doppelganger is, everyone would proudly say its hyunbin dumbass."

then yeonjun left with a smile and a surge of new confidence overtaking his face as he spoke away on the phone with you, while beomgyu was left in the living room more than confused as he looked up the actor on his phone.

instead of finding the difference, beomgyus brain was tasking him into finding the similarities...which, there was one to yeonjun's credit.

black hair.

"when are the others coming?" you asked looking around the crowded floor as yeonjun was buying popcorn and drinks. "the movies about to start.." you mumbled, checking your phone for the hundredth time.

"oh, i guess its just me and you again." he said with the popcorn and bottle of coke finally in his arms.

"again? don't you think this is getting suspicious?" you said as you walked alongside yeonjun, not noticing the way yeonjun just gulped.

you stopped in your tracks, in turn yeonjun bumping into your back a little, a few popcorns dropping on the floor.

"hey...you don't think.." you furrowed your brows, in deep thought. this has been on your mind for a while now. "you don't think they're trying to set us up or something do you?"

after the third time your friends stood you and yeonjun up, you were starting to think they were pushing, what they called, the 'ynjun' agenda..but it was the first time you'd ever bring it up to yeonjun, so you just laughed it off -- scolding your friends will come on a later date.

"nevermind, lets go inside the movie theatre jun."

"ya' y/n, wait."

you turned around to an awkward standing yeonjun at first, but he immediately straightens up and clears his throat, with a smile you've grown so attached to -- the smile that reached his eyes. for something so simple, it made your heart beat a little quicker than normal.

"can you hold the coke for a sec? i'm trynna--i'm trynna do something."

you break into a light laugh, "um, okay." that snapped you out of it because you remember who he was again -- your platonic best friend.

you took the cola bottle off his right arm, expecting him to take his phone out of his pocket to check something.

but as you stared at your sneakers, checking if they're untied, you felt his hand on top of your head, which startled you.

you looked up to meet yeonjuns eyes, a brow raised.

before you could say anything, he ruffled the top of your hair gently, leaning towards you a bit, to shorten the height difference.

"y/n, let this be our first date." your platonic best friend's voice, so warm and gentle you thought you would only hear in dreams, said those words...to you.

"so you asked her out on a date but you don't even like her...? that doesn't make any sense." soobin said, sitting on the couch watching beomgyu hog up the tv screen, his use time running out.

"bros an asshole..but i feel like we knew that already-- fuck you heeseung. you fucking suck ass you need to get off my team." beomgyu yelled.

"okay, first of all, it's not that bad. she doesn't like me at all, plus the date was how we would usually hung out anyway."

soobin just shook his head -- being the only guy with a functioning moral compass amongst the people he called his friends was exhausting.

as soon as he was about to lecture yeonjun, the tv timer goes off -- and that makes his plan a fleeting thought.

"it's my turn now, throw me the remote."

"bro give me a second, let me finish this gam--"

"no! unplug your console." soobin yelled impatiently, he knew better than to let beomgyu go over the timer again.

beomgyu groaned, abandoning heeseung in the game and unplugging his console. when soobin got control of the tv and opened up netflix, beomgyu stood up to sit next to yeonjun -- who had gotten a notification from you.

"yj, who's the chick? you never told us."

"uh, you don't really know her." he mindlessly answered, focused on the messages from you.

[y/n, 9:16 pm] that serenade ..as cringe as it was.. [y/n, 9:16 pm] like lets be serious, there was NO reason for u to get on top of the cafeteria table lol

he hadn't yet told his roommates what he did this morning, thinking that he'd get a longer lecture by soobin.

but he had took inspiration from the movie you guys were watching the other night at the cinema. you talked his ear off about how romantic it was, how you would fall at the feet of dicaprio if he did the same to you..

he was no dicaprio, but he could try is what he thought. and though you forced him to get down half way through, he could still enjoy sharing the laughter, your laughter, that was ringing in his ear.

[yeonjun, 9:17 pm] as cringe as it was...? you're in love w me ;)

he typed it as a joke, a smile tugging on his lips waiting for your reaction to his teasing.

but beomgyu hovered over his phone out of boredom again, and out of instinct yeonjun threw his phone -- the three chois looking at the phone on the floor in shock.

"bro, why are you being so secretive? were you sexting?" beomgyu yelled, accusatory.

"can we collectively have some decency in this house, jesus fucking christ beomgyu." soobin muttered.

"shut up church boy, yeonjun's hiding something for sure."

"or maybe he just wanted some privacy dude?" soobin retaliated.

yeonjun jumped up pointing at soobin, "exactly! exactly! listen to soobin, you were invading my personal space. so not cool beomgyu."

"yeah, okay. you've never agreed with me with this much enthusiasm before. he's hiding something. quick, check his phone." to soobins order, beomgyu was prepared to run to the phone when he made eye contact with the owner -- but yeonjun was quick.

"good god, wait wait. what do you want beomgyu--fuck, if you wanted her name it's y/n alright? the chick's y/n!" yeonjun doesn't do well under pressure, at all.

"what are you talking about--" beomgyu's face morphed into shock with his mouth agape. "--oh my fucking god. yeonjun, y/n's the chick? the one who brother zoned you?" beomgyu yelled.

"yeah...?" he said hesitantly.

"i can't--i just can't. soobin knock some sense into him." beomgyu turned away dramatically, shaking his head.

"yeonjun--" soobin started.

"dude, y/n has been in love with you for like a decade!" beomgyu blurted out, turning to face yeonjun again, interrupting soobin.

"uh..no? guys, i literally told you that she said she sees me as a brother. i saw her telling some guy that at the frat party last week."

beomgyu walked towards yeonjun, grabbing both of his shoulders, shaking him, "she. didn't. brother. zone. you. you stupid fuck!"

"she's been saying that to people because its so obvious that every time she tries moving on, she still likes you." soobin added in.

yeonjun, with his brows furrowed, tore beomgyu's hands off his shoulder -- walking towards his phone.

and it felt like a million thoughts were racing around his head the three seconds it took for him to get his phone, like a storm, a big tornado clouding his mind. but the most heavy was...how long? a fucking decade? and he never noticed?

he found it hard to swallow, almost nervous...that it was true.

the two other chois were staring at him, exchanging glances.

and when he picked up his phone, it was like he feared.

his text was left on read.

yeonjun's roommates were right for once.

all the secret glances he'd catch, a smirk twitching on his face as he pretended not to see, all the times you'd practically asked him out -- he shot it all down subconsciously thinking it was nothing more than coincidences on top of coincidences.

"you know, i was thinking it was weird you freaked out so much about the brother thing. yunjin told you that right to your face like last month and you didn't say anything." beomgyu said as he let himself fall on the couch.

beomgyu was right, he didn't care when yunjin said it.

yeonjun looked at beomgyu, eyes confused. "so...what are you trying to say?"

"maybe you feel the same way...? god, do i have to spell it out for you every single time?" he said dramatically, groaning.

"okay yeonjun. drama's over, go do your walk of shame to your room." soobin said, getting comfortable on the chair again to watch the premier of his show.

"and reflect!" beomgyu shouted out as yeonjun went over to his room, obeying soobin with his phone tight in hand.

"what are we watchin?" beomgyu finally asked, soobin giving him a side eye in response.

"we? beomgyu, i'm not watching another show premier with you again."

"just because my commentary is too good doesn't mean you have to get all jealous--"

yeonjun bursts out of his room through the narrow hallway that lead to the main door, a coat hanging on his right arm as he hurriedly slipped on his sneakers.

it startled both of the guys on the couch, looking over at him with brows raised: what is yeonjun doing?

no one could get a word in, not even beomgyu, before he was totally out of sight.

only adrenaline was rushing through his veins as he shut the door behind him, putting his arms through his padded coat, and sprinting to the elevator -- frantically spamming the button to make him falsely hope the elevator would reach his floor any faster

it wasn't like he had to do something in the ten minutes his head thought he had left, no, it was the realization that had him acting in urgency he never thought he'd have for a girl. all of his stupidity dawning on him -- for fucksake, of course it mattered that you said he was like a brother, it was you.

and as he ran out the building -- his head felt dizzy, not because it was overwhelmed with thoughts, no, this time he only had a few but those were harder to manage his head.

did he ever give up on you in middle school?

did he ever move on from you in highschool?

did he really dump a dream, you -- the dream he had as a boy, with all the other dreams he never thought would happen?

when yeonjun was finally in front of your family house, the one you still chose to live in through your college experience, he moved to where'd he guess the window of your room was.

"y/n?" he shouted out with all the energy he could muster up. he had to bend over his knee to catch his breath, because he would shout your name again.

again, and again, and again.

blood rushed up to his cheeks, not because of the cold, because he was embarrassed -- what if you weren't even here?

he waited, staring up at the window which showed no sign of your room light being on.

but he wouldn't give up, he'd have to try something else.

yeonjun looked down at his feet, the absence of the sun being harder on his vision. there were no rocks, the only thing visible to his eyes were branch sticks which only made him hope that his aim was good enough to get your window a few times.

it wasn't.

when the last stick that he found hit a window that wasn't the one he was trying to aim at - he cursed under his breath, defeated. yeonjun concluded that this was a bigger fail than the fucking time he found out that he was flirting at a family--not a class, reunion.

he could just go back to his dorm and call you is what he thought as he exhaled, a fog escaping his lips into the cold, feeling even more of a loser.

"yeonjun?!" he turned around at the familiar voice calling out for him and his eyes widened, lighting up as they set on your face, finally out of the window, with your room light making it a little easier for him to see your features.

"y/n?" he shouted back, ecstatic.

"what are you doing out here?", you shouted the words slowly so he could pick it up. then add, "it's fucking cold!"

"i just wanted to know" he inhaled, the cold air burning his nostrils, "why you didn't answer my text!"

it was silent, yeonjuns lips agape waiting for a response.

"you're fucking insane!" you said laughs slipping between your words, yeonjun scoffs lightly, a wide smile on his face.

he put his hands up as walls to his mouth to echo his words louder, "for you!" he shouted out in response.

"shut the fuck up!" it was a distant yell, one you both assumed, as you met eye contact, was y/n's neighbors. and then you laughed again at the untimely part of it all.

when you turned away from the window, yeonjun found himself yearningly waiting for you to come back. hands that were in his pockets felt a vibration -- his phone.

he took it out just to see a notification from his, quite frankly, favorite person ever.

[y/n, 10:26 pm] lets talk on here lol

he looked up and saw you at the window again, with you waving your phone at him -- it earned a smile tugging once more, on the ends of his lips.

just how did he manage to ignore overwhelming feelings about you, of you, for the past decade?

[yeonjun, 10:27 pm] come down. i'm not gonna tell u this thru text [y/n, 10:27 pm] why not? [yeonjun, 10:27 pm] don't wanna [y/n, 10:28 pm] youre asking me to get out of my cozy ass room just bcs u dont wanna??

"yeah! basically dumbass!" he shouted, startling your poor self out of your focus on your phone. you glared at him, yeonjun most likely missing it.

[y/n, 10:28 pm] STOP DONT DO THAT THOSE PSYCHOS ARE GOING TO CALL THE COPS ON ME [yeonjun, 10:29 pm] ok then come down before i freeze my fingers off

when you slid your window closed, closing your curtains, he immediately turned to quickly run towards the front of your house. yeonjun leaned on the fence of your porch, smiling with thoughts of you clouding his mind, as he looked up at the moon.

it was all so cliché -- the type of scene his roommates would squeal over and one that he would roll his eyes to, but if he were to watch this part of his life, again and again -- the moment you opened the door, the moment you both exchanged looks that communicated 'we feel the same way don't we?', a short awkward laugh that was shared, the moment you hesitantly opened your mouth to say something -- and then, the final moment of his longing lips crashing onto yours, his cold hands warming up the moment he cupped your face, the repocracy from your side making him smile into the kiss, the euphoric realisation that he wasn't late, you didn't stop loving him yet, and when he cut the kiss short, both your lips barely apart, yeonjun whispered an i love you, and to it you smiled, pulling him into your house, to finish your kiss -- he would too, squeal over the scene, kicking his feet like a highschool girl.

ending a/n: YOU FINISHED IT YAY :D yeonjun was lowk an asshole for wanting to lead on mc at first for his own benefit, but hes such a cutie im sorry, its easy to forgive T-T let me know what you feel about this piece, it was so fun to write!!

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ghostlyferrettarot · 1 month

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💌The 7th house and the signs💌

❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) (Open).

💐If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!💐

🌸Masterlist🌸

💕7th house in Aries: This individuals are looking for fun and independence in a relationship, they bring fun and excitement and expect the same from their partner. This people like the chase, they like a challange, it makes them feel passionate about the person. Aries 7th house had boundaries and won't sacrifice themselves in order to please others, it's a ride or die situation; you love them fully or go.

💕Taurus 7th house: This individuals love stability and security in all aspects when it comes to relationships. They are selective partners and knows how to protect their energy. This people like to be pamper, you need to show them love and treat them like the goddess/god they are. With them it's all about grounding and loving energy.

💕Gemini 7th house: This individuals look for intellectual and communicative understanding in partners. They need someone who understands and communicates with them. Gemini 7th house won't wait for anyone, if they want you, they will say it; they are open with what they want and expect the same in return.

💕Cancer 7th house: This individuals look for emotional understanding. Cancer 7th house is really understanding and nurturing and want the same from their partners; for them is all about the emotional connection they can built with their desired person, this people don't want vanal interactions.

💕Leo 7th house: This individuals love dramatic and passionates relationships. They a are a star and they know their worth; they won't settle from less than their standards. They feel drawn to ambitious and bright individuals, people who are not afraid to be themselves and put on a show for them.

💕Virgo 7th house: This individuals want grounding and practical energies. They value efficiency and analitycal skills, people who are in the same level as them. This people love ambition and want a partner with clear goals; they won't settle for someone who doesn't want to better themselves.

💕Libra 7th house: This individuals look for balance and harmony. They don't like conflicts and discussions; they need to feel safe and at peace with their partner as well as authentic. Libra 7th house are drawn to giving and humble people, those who are diplomatics or do humanitarian work of some kind.

💕Scorpio 7th house: This individuals love intensity and depth in connections. They are not afraid to explore and tap into their most intense emotions. Scorpios 7th house are mysterious and transformative partners; they will make you explore the in depths of your souls. This individuals are drawn to those who are not afraid of being challenged and have poweful minds and spirits.

💕Sagittarius 7th house: This individuals look for expansion and freedom in a relationships. They have an adventurous nature that makes them want to know as much as they can about the world and they expect their partner to understand this. Sagittarius 7th house doesn't settle for someone easily, many see them as a non-comitmment type; this is mainly because of their outgoing and curious personality that makes them want to explore all their options before settling down.

💕Capricorn 7th house: This individuals value Trust and commitment before anything else. They don't tolerate lies or mind games, Capricorns are clear about their feelings and want the same in return. They look significant others that want to level up, those who they can see themselves evolving and creating an empire of their own; they don't want hesitancy or confussion, their time is gold and they know it.

💕Aquarius 7th house: This individuals love authenticity and individuality in a partner. They look for those who are not afraid to speak and show their true selfs. Aquarius are attracted to those who are creatives, innovatives and unconventionals; they have an expansive and often misunderstood mind so they want to be understood and connect on a deeper level with those close to them.

💕Pisces 7th house: This individuals are romatics by nature. They look for compassionate partners, those who value their presence and make them feel like a fairytale. Pisces is a dreamy sign that knows how to love deeply, they are in love with love; this is why they want the same from their partnerts, they want to feel loved and care for as much as they do so.

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hornedqueenofhell · 8 months

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This right here was the moment I realized that there wasn't going to be a love triangle with Hobie and Miles. Because Hobie tells Gwen she left her jumper at his place, and she also left one at Miles'. It's the one his mom picks up off of Miles' bed when they go to talk to him after the party.

Gwen isn't looking for romance right now, her entire life has fallen to hell. She doesn't have a car to pack a go bag in or an apartment at the Spider Society, Gwen is functionally homeless right now. So she's having to create and hide caches of her belongings in the places she feels safest. Hobie and Miles are on the same level in her mind, because they're the closest thing she has to home right now.

And as someone who had to run for their safety it's hard to put it into words at times, the effect it has on you. I kept a bag in my trunk for 5 years ready to drop damn near every possession in my life at a moments notice. It's so hard going through life so untethered, never feeling like you can hold onto anything or show that it has value to you because you have to be ready to drop it and run or it will be used against you.

So seeing Gwen do this, put this much trust in these two people to leave her belongings with them, because she knows that they would never use them against her is so telling. It shows that Gwen thinks the world of Miles. And to have that there, that show of trust for those of us who know what it means without it coming across as poor, pitiful Gwen is amazing. And there's never a moment depicting her as incapable or wrong for her home situation, she's struggling but it doesn't become the main focus of her story arc. Her safe places, her trust in Hobie and Miles is never compromised or lost due to a romance subplot.

I really love just how much depth there is to every layer of this film, how complicated all these characters are. They can be good or bad, have made mistakes and still be these fantastically compelling characters with so much driving their motivations and beliefs.

#spider man: across the spider verse #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spider gwen #spiderwoman #miles morales #spider man #spiderman #atsv hobie #atsv #atsv gwen #atsv miles #hobie brown #spider punk #tw homelessness

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numberonetrashwitch · 8 months

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Some observations about Baldurs Gate 3 that hit too close to home.

After another few runs i will probably just make an in-Depth Character Analysis for every character simply because they are good reflections of actual trauma-manifestations and how abuse can manifest in people. They are also so well written that it serves a narrative purpose to explore all the material that is out there about them. I am also personally cursed with actual medically-relevant levels of Empathy and Hyperfixation; so writing this helps me put a pin in it and move on.

But so far here are my highlights

(SPOILERS and obviously content warning bc these are deep)

before you ask; i have almost 300h in this game.

You have to convince Shadowheart to eat the Noblestalk. She actually stells you she rather get her memories back from Shar but when you hit the persuasion or intimidation (what the fuck) check to get her to eat it she'll tell you about her childhood friend. Not her name, not her parents but her best firend. Possibly because she has had a closer bond to that person after being abducted and indoctrinated. With her believing herself to be an orphan, she would've looked elsewhere for comfort and sought out her own family, this is why she falls hard and heavy for Shar and builds the backbone of her indoctrination. She is literally ripped out of her home & given a new identity to server her from all she has known. Religious indoctrination, Gaslighting, Abduction, being forced to let go of your personality are her main themes.

There is a scene out there floating around in which you see Astarions pespective of the night when he bites Tav for the first time, in his meditations he is confronted with the rules Cazador put on him, including that he can't eat intelligent creatures, can't be away from Cazador unless allowed to, has to obey every command and that they are should know that they are property. Which in turn means that Astarion literally didn't just have any autonomy, he was objectified (and not just through seductive/sexual measures) and that is really the crux to understanding why he doesn't believe in kindness, but rather shows self-serving behavior in most cases. Since we know that Astarion was extremely young for an elf before he died and became immortal (literally stopping the aging /maturing process) it is also very telling that Cazador constantly calls him brat, boy or other very juvanile names, refering to them as a family... well it is also the story of a very controlling parent. Themes of (Bodily) autonomy, infantilization ( & puer aeternus, forever-child), slavery, depersonalisation, corruption of life and torture to break someone.

Gale isn't just a guy hung up on his Ex, but also a victim of abuse. In this case a power imbalance none of us can fathom; She is described as being a jealous goddess and rules over the domain of mysteries and magic. So with Gale being a Wizard, she is literally his boss. He admits that he was foolish enough to aspire to be an equal to her, but she is so jealous that she tells him he can't really be worthy as long as he takes breath. She could just take his powers away and be done with it, that would be more than enough punishment for a guy who literally made Mystra and her domain his life's purpose, but she rather makes him do it himself. Add to that, that she literally only tells him this after years of self-isolation (after he put down so many wards that he could've blown up a whole army as he says if you click the right dialogue) to really fuck him up well. He also talks about death pretty much constantly, not surprising giving your situation, but he will tell you that he will kill himself at several points in the game, for instance after he comes clear about his nethrese orb. Themes of romantic abuse, power-imbalance, toxic work enviorment, self-isolating behavior, suicidal ideation

Wyll ... well from the looks of it he is the most well adjusted of all the companions (my opinion) but he has something that i'd describe as the "eldest daughter"-syndrome, more commonly known as parentification. This pattern usually occurs within single-household parents and is commonly described as a parent looking to their child for emotional or practical support, rather than providing it to their kid. We meet Ulder and see that he talks over Wyll a lot, not listening but expecting him to follow the standard he sets for him. That is also why Wyll repeats his fathers words like gospel (because this is what, in his mind, fullfills the expectations bestowed upon him) and why he loves fairytales / bard tales so much (because they are an ecapist view of the job he set out to do) Ulder literally exiled his teenage son because Wyll did the only thing he could to save an entire city, by sacrificing himself. Thats a lot to expect from a 17 year old - even more so, he doesn't stop with the heroics. He expects himself, as a human who hasn't even reached the age of 30 to hold up to mystical creatures such as Astarion or Karlach, or even Gale who is a accomplished Wizard. Themes of parentification, escapism, self-harming through putting himself in danger, chronic-self-sacrifice

In plain words; Gortash, Karlach's Idol sold her to a Devil. But add to that that she must have been pretty young when she was sold (late teens to early twenties possibly) and being that if you play as a Tiefling, you face a lot of predjudice she was likely forced into that position as well. Starstruck she was, with a juvenile naitivy that Gortash used. Appropriately, as he is the chosen of Bane the god of "tyrannical oppression, terror, and hate, known across Faerûn as the face of pure evil through malevolent despotism" (Source: Forgotten-Realms Wiki / Bane) So she pretty much was raised in a toxic enviorment, which forced her to become a killing-machine, first figuretively, then with the extraction of her heart, literally. Themes of slavery, oppression, misuse of trust, being taken advantage by a more powerful/older(?) person, being drafted.

Jaheira - to be honest, you need to know the lore of the previous baldurs gate games or just listen to her dialouge, ask her all the questions. She is a war-veteran against Bhaal, the good of ritual murder, and has a long history of fighting to achieve some sort of balance of power. She lost her husband and several close people all to this, or any other war, but due to her wisdom and strength people look to her for guidance. Themes of: Survivors Guilt.

Halsin - he is really closed off at first but then just casually hits you with "i was captured in the underdark and spent 3 years chained to a bedroom wall by a pair of drows who used me as they pleased". He is reprimanded by some of his druids for leaving the grove as soon as opportunity struck, just to get back and leave the next day, and if you talk to him about his position in the grove he is actually very forthcomming. He actively holds himself back; indulging in simple hobbies because he knows what lies within his heart. He is afraid of himself and his potential (canonnically he can't control his wildshape, which is very weird for an ARCH-druid) Themes of: impostor syndrome, avoidant-based self-harm, sexual opression, loss of control, emotional regulation.

Lae'zel is a very tragic case, and one that closely resembles the stories of Shadowheart and Karlach. Her entire existence is based upon a matriachial war society allowing her to live if she proves she can be of use and that in a culture which only values brutality, dominance & service. All of that culimating in her finding out that her oh-so-beloved Queen is actually just an imposter, and that everything she has lived for up to that point is merely political propaganda created to make her, and the rest of her entire species, willing pawns in a war that has no longer bearing on their survival alone, but is fought to justify Vlaakith's (the reigning monarchs) personal ambitions. Not only is she forced to reconcile that she is turned into the thing that controlled her kind for hundreds of years, that the only cure she knows of would kill her and then on top of that, that her hopes and dreams were lies and that she is now the Nr 1 enemy of the person she has served with all her being. themes of: oppression, propaganda, casual violence, objectification, child-warfare, eternal warfare

Minthara in short, her story is about being shamed for growing up in the same scenario that Lae'zel grew up in. Lolth, the god of the Lolth-sworn drows is a crazy queen who values scheming & backstabbing so much and is so volatile that you can't know what to expect of your deeds (and i mean it; there were people who were appraised by her for scheming against her, but also those who were killed. It's almost random.) She considers Lolth to be cruel and abandoned her for the Absolute, only to then be used and abused the same way Lae'zel has. Not with promises, but erasing her memory and exposing her perceived weakness. Themes of: casual violence, violent culture, her own ambition colliding with her desire to be safe, being a pawn in a larger game.

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st4rtar0t · 20 days

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Their first impression of you

future spouse or future lover

DM for personal readings.

Picture 1

Their first impression of you might be a mix of uncertainty and clarity. At first, they may see you as someone who is trying to make a tough decision or facing a dilemma, perhaps appearing guarded or cautious. However, they also sense a strong sense of intellect and honesty about you, as if you're someone who seeks truth and clarity in all situations. As they get to know you better, their impression shifts towards seeing you as a person of authority and stability. They notice your practical approach to life and your ability to handle responsibilities with ease. You come across as someone who is grounded, reliable, and capable of achieving success through hard work and perseverance. Yet, there's also an element of spontaneity and adventure to their perception of you. They see you as someone who is unafraid to take risks and embrace new beginnings. You exude a sense of optimism and excitement, as if you're always ready to embark on a new journey or pursue your dreams without fear of failure. but i also see that beneath this confident exterior, they detect a hint of vulnerability. They sense that you've experienced some emotional pain or heartache in the past, which has left its mark on you. Despite this, they admire your resilience and your ability to overcome challenges with grace and strength. They see you as someone with a lot of layers to explore and admire.

Picture 2

In their eyes, you come across as someone who's bold and confident, with a natural leadership aura. They also find you really physically attractive, especially your eyes and hair. I also heard "a change for the better" so they see you as a change they need in their life or They may see you as someone who's moving away from troubled waters, leaving behind any difficulties or conflicts with grace and determination. There's a sense of inner strength and resilience about you that's quite noticeable, its like no matter how bad your situation may be you remain hopeful for a better future. They might perceive you as someone who's full of creative energy and enthusiasm, always ready to embark on new adventures or projects. Maybe because you always have something going on in your life. However, they might also sense a hint of struggle or feeling left out in some aspects of your life, perhaps financially or emotionally. They may perceive you as someone who has had a challenging life and has faced a lot of heartbreaks. Nonetheless, they see you as someone who's generous and willing to share what you have with others, showing both kindness and practicality. They really admire your kind and helpful nature and your ability to deal with people and situations with ease. Roses and sunflowers may be significant.

Picture 3

I sense that they might perceive you as someone who comes across as determined and direct, like someone who doesn't beat around the bush, someone who moves forward with a clear vision in mind. They may see you as someone who carries a heavy load or responsibility, perhaps giving off vibes of being burdened or stressed by various tasks or obligations. on the other hand they may see you as someone who has controlling issues. They might sense a mysterious aura around you, like you have a depth or intuition that isn't immediately obvious, like you have hidden knowledge or understanding of things that they couldn't quite put their finger on. Also, they might perceive you as someone with a lot of creative energy or passion, someone who's bursting with new ideas or projects. They could also feel that you possess a sense of balance and harmony, you're able to juggle different aspects of your life effectively. I also sense that they might see you as someone who values collaboration and teamwork, perhaps appearing cooperative or willing to work with others. THeir impression might include a sense of emotional openness or purity, like you're sincere and genuine in your interactions with others.

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bacchicly · 3 months

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A few imperfect thoughts about writing fat characters respectfully

By me :

A short (5'2"), fat (approx 300 pounds), middle aged (turning 42 thank god), married to not a fat man, mother of a pre-teen, white, CIS, Anglo, Canadian, upper-middle class woman who writes fic (including smut) about a character who is fat by TV and Hollywood standards (Penelope Garcia)

Note: fat hate or debates about whether being fat is healthy or not will not be tolerated on this post. That is not what this post is about. This is about giving some insight into what writers may want to consider when trying to respectfully include more fat characters in their work and generally moving towards writing doing less harm to fat people.

This post started with me wanting to respond to someone honnestly asking "how do I write good descriptions of fat people" because they wanted to write more fat characters and write them authentically (and I assume in a way that would be respectful to fat people) which is an awesome! ...Or maybe it started a few months ago when a writer friend asked about whether a fat character in a fic borrowing a shirt or hoody from her fit boyfriend made sense. ...Or maybe it started way back when I started writing my first fan fic featuring Penelope Garcia partly in response to being irritated about how so many writers wrote her as a young woman and were often silent on her size or spent a lot of time on her insecurities about her body... anyhoo that's where I come from... doesn't make me an expert except maybe on my own unique experience with a fat body...rather more a fellow muddler / fat character writer enthusiast.

THE BASICS

This first part is a quick list of basics you'll read in other posts about writing characters in general - but we'd better get them out of the way because they apply:

Every character is unique and they way they act and think and feel tends to be a product of some mix of what they look like, how their body works or doesn't, how their brain works and doesn't, their "personality", what they were taught, their unique experiences, and the situation/society they are currently in. There are patterns (which is why we get tropes) but the fun thing is that small things can make big differences. So to write an authentic character, it helps to have a fairly clear sense of at least some of those elements and do some imagining about how all of that would funnel into the moment your writing.

The amount to which you describe character bodies and the style which you use to describe them tends to depend on genre, what the heck is going on in your story, the pov you're writing from, the reason you're writing etc. So their are no hard or fast rules. There may be norms for certain styles of fiction, but then it's up to you to decide if it's stronger for you to lean into those norms or to write "against" them at a particular moment.

In order to be more respectful and less harmful to fat people (especially if you see value in actively challenging the anti-fat status quo), you may have to change how you describe all bodies in your work, as well the attitudes both fat people and non fat people have about bodies in general.

Now that that's out of the way... let's get specifically to my thoughts on writing fat characters. I'm going to divide this part into tips for DESCRIBING FAT BODIES, FAT BODIES IN SPACE, and THINKING AND FEELING IN A FAT BODY.

TIPS FOR DESCRIBING FAT (OR OTHER) BODIES

I would say that both consistency and diversity across the work is important, by this I mean :

Consistently describe bodies in about the same amount of detail across your work for the same type of character regardless of body type. So protagonists should get about the same depth and breath of body descriptions as each other regardless of body type. Same goes for vilalns, supporting characters etc. Sometimes people are mute about the look and shape of "strait sized" character bodies (because what's to describe - they are just "normal") but then spend a bunch of time on "other sized" bodies or vice versa (in this case, the fat body is erased usually because of some form of internalised fat hate or phobia paired with "if you can't say anything nice" don't say anything at all.) If you're doing either of these things, I'm not saying it's wrong and has to be fixed- I'm just saying it's a flag that you may want to think about why you are writing differently about different body types and what your work is saying about what bodies have value and which don't.

Diversity Bodies in the real world come in a lot of different shapes and sizes (I know I know obvious woman strikes again) but if you are writing stories with fairly large casts and everyone has the same body type - there better be a good reason for it within the narrative. Truthfully there are cases where this does make sense to some degree... if you're writing about a group where there are physical requirements and standards for the folks in that world (ballet dancers, fire fighters, cops, soldiers, fbi agents) there may or may not be less diversity in body type and more homogeneous attitudes to body norms within the group - and certainly those who are outside of the norm may be commented on or feel like they are "other". But if you are in a more free setting - if you write without a diversity of body types - especially in settings where there is diversity - that is probably a clue that you're not thinking enough about what your various characters look like and may be "normalizing" one type of body over others. Similarly, if you are writing about a real time and place where there is evidence that there were fat bodies and you have none...that's another flag to ask yourself why.

The magical tools in your toolkit for describing fat and other bodies: Body neutrality and POV

Body neutrality is about not loving bodies and not hating bodies just accepting bodies as they are....or in this case describing them as they are. No poetic language. No judgement. Just this is what this character looks like. If you're struggling to do this, I suggest doing a body map for at least two characters with different body types - possibly one that you find easy to think of positively (in this case likely someone thin or at least fit) and one that you find more difficult to describe positively (in this case someone fat).

Describe them head to toe, naked and then clothed, in detail - acurately but not poetically. Start with their feet and then work up bit by bit. Pay attention to things like hair, scars, shape of joints, acne, tightness or looseness of skin, colour of skin, nails, fat, lack of fat, muscle tone, where do they hold their stress, what's in the bowels, how well they do or don't work, do they have their appendix, what they ate last, proportions (is their torso long or short compared to their legs), lungs - how much do they hold, are they healthy? - now describe their throat, shoulders, hands, hair, then end with face.

The only rule is no positive or negative connotations to anything. it's neither good nor bad that they have stretch marks - they just do and they have faded to silver. Now that you "see them' clearly - now look at them through the eyes of someone who loves them in a familial way...what do they see most? what words do they use? now through someone who is attracted to them sexually and love them and aren't ashamed...what do they see most? what words do they use? Now through the eyes of someone who hates them or wants to change them? or a child? or a dog? Now... how does your character feel about these descriptions? Now you have a variety of words you can draw on to describe the body and you also should have a fairly good idea of what is a more skewed view of the body and a more realistic view.

Also...it can be helpful to remember there are no consistently good or bad words to describe bodies - it depends on context and who is using the words. It's a lot like how sick can be used to describe something negatively or positively depending on the agreed upon meaning of the word by a group.

DESCRIBING BODIES IN SPACE/MOTION

Ok here's the thing - for every activity you can think of - there is a fat body that does it well and a fat body that can't do it easily or at all and there are a lot of reasons for both. Often it has to do with the fact that a lot of equipment is built for people who are 250lbs or less; and anything for bigger people tends to cost a premium. Also, if it's not an easy new skill to acquire with the body you've got...it may take longer and more bravery to keep pushing through to achieve mastery. People may try to discourage you from pursuing things. Sometimes out of prejudice, sometimes out of impatience, sometimes out of caring.

So deciding what your character's body can do easily and what it can't and why is more important than me giving you a list of words for how to describe fat movements.

My suggestion is: do your research. What sorts of body types have done the activity in the real world? What are the exceptions? What changes? So for example if a fat person is climbing a mountain - do they need more help? Different equipment? A different route?

Things to consider:

- equipment / things that can have weight limits: bunk beds, roller coasters, scooters, waterslides, camping chairs, elevators, trampolines, some bikes, life jackets (finding one that fit was a nightmare), exercise balls, airline seats (learning to ask for the seatbelt extender without second thought or shame was a lifesaver)

- not all fat people have pain, those who do will move taking into account the specifics of the pain - same as a lean person

- when I was pregnant I just got more cylindrical and did not get a classic belly. I moved well and easily all the way through my pregnancy, I had none of the back pain or ankle pain some people get. I stood for a lot of my labour. I gave birth on my hands and knees. Other fat people will have had different experiences of pregnancy...but that was mine.

- clothing can have a huge impact on what bounces or jiggles and what doesn't

- most (but not all) fat people I know are particularly sensitive to appearing sweaty or smelling bad

- how winded someone gets is not directly correlated to body size, neither is heart rate or breathing style; I have theatre training and grew up swimming - I breath very slowly and very deeply normally - so when I talk a slow deep breath...it is very slow and deep indeed. I have always been fat but can swim forever - I have always gotten winded and kind of dizzy running... Other fat people may be opposite.

- people do not "see fat" consistently. People regularly underestimate how fat I am (by 100+ pounds or many clothing sizes) because I am short, well spoken, proportioned in a way that is seen as fairly typical, and very mobile and very light on my feet. Someone who weighs less than me but is slower moving, dull witted, in a sour mood, is illl, or poorly dressed may be perceived as much heavier than than someone the same weight or heavier who is behaving/clothed differently (which can change how much fat hate someone experiences) and definately heavier than they are. Height also changes how people perceive weight.

- many stores still don't carry plus sized clothing, but eventually i sort of got used to it - although some days it makes me angry and other days sad

- chairs with arms or the occasional booth can be uncomfortable or just plain impossible to sit in, it's probably partly my ADHD but I often forget this until it happens; for taller and fatter people than me this can be a much more regular occurrence.

- once (if) a character figures out how to dress/move their body in a way that feels comfortable and meets general standards (or at least theirs) of respectability - they may not think that much about their body...or at least until something external draws attention to it

- I don't like feeling like I'm squishing people, so I will make myself small and still on buses or at the theatre, I also don't like sitting on laps or being lifted or carried.

- I often feel much taller than I actually am - except when I am standing right beside someone taller or am trying to reach something on a high shelf. The same principle applies - I feel larger next to smaller people and smaller next to larger ones.

- clothing and what I'm carrying also changes how I move (just like my lean counterparts)

- I don't lounge, my car seat is set almost straight but I sit further back than my brother in law who has a similar height and weight - he leans the seat back but pulls closer. I don't nap. My leaner husband both lounges and naps.

- some fat folks eat, walk, and move quickly - some slowly; figuring out which your character does, when they behave "out of character", and why these are their preferences will go a long way to creating an authentic feeling fat character

- acne is a thing and learning to accept ones rolls and tummy aprons (and thus take care of them properly) is a common challenge; although many do it naturally without thinking much of it. You lift your breasts and wash underneath - you lift you belly and wash underneath.

- fat bodies have the same reactions as everyone else: they tingle, burn, get numb, get goose bumps, like to be touched in certain places and in certain ways, feel the breeze, get hot, get cold, shiver, stretch, relax, get aroused, feel release, hold tension, feel capable and strong, feel weak...no matter who you are sitting in a chair that's too small for you will put pressure on your body and feel uncomfortable or safe ..you can explore what that is like. Sometimes it is a reassuring sensation. Sometimes it is uncomfortable. This is the same for fat bodies. It just may happen more frequently and depending on your character's context and experience the emotional reaction / thoughts that are generated may be a bit different.

THINKING AND FEELING IN A FAT BODY.

I think I touched on some of this in some of the earlier sections...but here I want to talk a bit about my experience of being fat and my thoughts about it - your fat characters may or may not feel similarly...but my hope is that you at least think about options as opposed to only writing one or two types of fat character.

I mainly "feel" fat in moments when it is pointed out to me or I am limited in what I can do because of it

I quite like my body, it is my home and I feel very connected to it's features. In my experience this is unusual for many people in North American society regardless of actual body shape or weight. Sometimes I feel guilty for not hating my body the way "I am supposed to" and wonder vaguely if my body would be different if I could hate it more (although as I get older I doubt it).

I do feel some pressure to be a cheerful "good" fat person as a way to stay safe and survive.

Nothing makes people more uncomfortable than me calling myself fat without judgement or asking for accomodation matter of factly. It took me a long time to feel comfortable doing so, but I do it now all the time and it makes my life better.

I felt some pressure to be the fun friend who people feel comfortable eating whatever they wanted with and I often felt like I was depended on to order dessert so they could too. This may have been all in my mind though.

Fat bellies can be very intimate places.

Not all fat people have dieted, but many have. I was lucky enough to never be forced into a diet. I did try keto once but it was a bit intense and nuts so I stopped. I learned a bunch doing it though.

Medical people not treating you appropriately when your fat is 100% a thing.

Internalised fat hate and fat phobia is a thing for many fat people and it pops up at weird moments.

I don 't.give a damn about being in a bathing suit. As long as it fits and my boobs and butt.aren't.falling out - I am happy and feel very attractive. In fact I am probably at my most comfortable in a bathing suit or naked. My body is mine in both those instances.

To reach the "healthy weight" for my height - I would have to lose half of my body mass. That is a lot of me to loose. Embarking on something like that would be totally different than loosing 5 or 10 pounds. Trying to navigate the various medical opinions about whether being fat is bad or not is exhausting.

For me, being fat and older is easier than being fat and younger. This could easily be the opposite for someone else.

Some fat people are into sex, some are not . Some folks are into sex with fat people and some are not. Some are nice about it. Some are not. Some want nice. Some do not.

Fat people are all around you living their best life or their worst life or somewhere in between. We know we are fat. We sometimes care and sometimes don't.

Ok that's it. I don't know if it will help anyone or if it's just a collection of rambles - but at the end of the day...fat people are just people. We are not going to go away. We are all sorts. We are the heroes of our own stories. We are people who are loved, depended on, hated, ignored, and/or spotlighted.

Some fat people think about being fat all the time. Some rarely. Just please don't erase us or other us.

Just by taking the step to interrogate your own biases and any feelings / assumptions you have about fatness/thinness is a huge step and will help limit the harm you could unintentionally do to fat people...actually to all people. Like all forms of hate and intelorance - Fat hate hurts EVERYONE. I would argue it privileges a few...but even that can be excruciating for the individuals who strive to retain that priviledge. We need to dismantle it.

#writing #writing fat characters #fat phobia #fat hate #long post #personal #body neutrality #body posititivity #writing about bodies

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divinesangel · 14 days

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— 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

pm me for an affordable, in-depth personal reading!

— 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞!

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏

this person envies you for being very attractive + attracting many people. i see that this person feels quite bad about the situation you are going through right now, and it seems that part of their envy has to do with how you attract others, even without intending to do so consciously. this person feels that you have always had many opportunities that they have not had and they feel as if they are in a situation of no return, as if they have hit rock bottom and do not know how to come back outward. they see you as someone who has always had many opportunities and who has always been able to do what they wanted because of it, something that this person has not been able to do in their life or has not felt that they have been able to. in addition to that, i feel that this person is capable of seeing that there are other people very interested in you, very interested in how you handle yourself, in how you are, and who are interested in being with you, and that is something that makes them feel quite insecure. i feel they have been able to realize that there are people who look at you a lot, and in particular, i see that there is a person who has realized that there is another person who is quite interested in you, and they have ended up feeling quite bad about it. perhaps this person has had feelings for this other person, and that's why they feel this way, but they can see that there is something about you that attracts others and makes them like you, and it makes them feel very victimized or like they are victims of the circumstances surrounding them. they see you as a very independent person, someone who could have anyone they wanted, and that makes them feel insecure because they feel they are not that type of person, and even if they tried, they could not achieve it. your energies are completely different, as is the way you express yourselves to others. they are also able to see that you are a very sensitive person and someone whom people treat very well. and there is something here about you having more opportunities than them, which is what mainly makes them feel quite bad. and for many of you, i do not think they are job opportunities or material opportunities, but opportunities in terms of love or friendships. they feel that you are superior to them, and they are not comfortable with that.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

in this case, i see a feminine energy that doesn't seem to harbor much animosity toward you. i feel that in the past, this person may have been attracted to you and may have thought that you could be good friends or just get along well, but that changed and took a downturn. i see that this has to do with a guy who may have been involved with you or with her. if you haven't had anyone or haven't been in a relationship recently, it could be that this person was interested in someone and that person didn't pay much attention to her, but did to you. i definitely think it's someone you know, but apart from that, i see that this person has changed quite a bit in terms of their feelings toward you, and i feel that in the past you got along well or at least this person had good intentions toward you, and that changed completely and turned into something not very pleasant. i feel that this has to do with some relationship since i keep seeing that guy i mentioned earlier. i feel that your name was mentioned in a conversation within her circle, and that changed her opinion of you. besides that, i feel that part of her envy has to do with seeing you as a very charismatic person who also gives a lot to others, meaning you're always there for others and are very compassionate with everyone, and that's something that repels them. in this person's mind, they feel that life hasn't treated them very fairly, and they feel very conflicted about it. they feel like they're still finding their place in the world and need that intimate connection with someone. something they haven't been able to have and they think you do with the people you know. this person feels hurt by something that happened between you and another person and it's eating away at them.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑

there's someone in your circle who envies you because of all the things you've achieved so far. it seems to be related to work, maybe from your professional sphere, or perhaps someone you study with. undoubtedly, it's someone you know. and this person might be experiencing feelings of dissatisfaction or jealousy because of your success and abilities, which could lead them to act somewhat unfairly or confrontationally towards you. furthermore, i feel like this person might be driven by competition or the desire to surpass you in some way. they feel somewhat inferior to you and feel like they should be in your position. they feel like they have to prove themselves all the time in order to get to your level and feel sort of like enough, not even for other people, but for themselves. i feel like this is someone that you hold some affection for. i don't think that you guys are that close, but i do see that you may have helped this person in the past, or you just may have had some affections for them. i feel like things were good at the beginning, but for some reason they started feeling less secure with the things that they had, and they just felt like you were sort of like a rival that they have. they definitely see you as someone quite powerful, and this is not in terms of power dynamics, but more of the way that you portray yourself, and also how well you do your stuff. i feel like they're very intimidated by that, and that creates conflicts within them. they feel kind of torn apart by how they're feeling, and i feel like sometimes it hurts them that they feel this competitive towards you, but it's not something that they can avoid since it stems from their own insecurities. i also feel like this is a feeling that comes and goes, so it's not like that all the time, but it's definitely kind of damaging for them.

𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

hi! it's daphne here.

i'm currently offering personal readings for €5 ($5.43) so don't hesitate to send me a private message if you're interested!

thank you for being here!

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shaisuki · 9 months

Text

｡‧˚ʚ°ɞ˚‧｡ ─── TO SHARE IS TO CARE

boyfriend yuuji who coaxes you in thinking that megumi is kind under that cold exterior of his, which he is, and he just wants megumi to meet people, well not exactly people but get closer to itadori's chubby gf.

under that cold/blunt nature of megumi. he's a huge perv. always thinking about how cute and soft you are. stares at you with nothing but the most filthiest thought anyone can think about you.

itadori may be an idiot and act like an idiot but he's no idiot when it comes to anyone who shows the slightest interest in his cute, chubby gf. itadori knows all too well the effect you can have on people despite your skittish behavior. a simple tug on his shirt, chewing your lips or whenever you need comfort from him in situations you're uncomfortable with. you're just too cute not to draw people attention to you and that includes megumi.

stoic megumi who can't help but be jealous to itadori for having a cutie like you. who dotes on him, gives the sweetest kisses before and after missions, who have you in his lap in every minute. it's almost annoying for him but it always starts in denial and like any other denials, megumi also wants that.

it doesn't take long before itadori noticed the stares megumi steals when you weren't looking. the abrupt change of his gaze when he caught him and the sudden redness of his cheeks. megumi thinks he's discreet but he's not so subtle in hiding this from him and with the little interest megumi had on you, compiled all the common sense he have, megumi likes you and it doesn't bother him at all. confrontation is what he needed to confirm all of it.

and so here they are. itadori cradling your sleeping form. your chubby cheeks smooched in his chest, his hand on your plush waist and megumi sits a few meters apart. your little snooze can be heard in the room.

"fushiguro." he calls out to the boy in front of him and megumi's emerald eyes looks back at him. the tension is thick and megumi knows it would be something more, judging from how itadori's voice sound. the seriousness and megumi may know what will be the center of this.

"say fushiguro, do you like my girlfriend?"

there's a silence followed by a pin being dropped somewhere. he contemplates for a bit. he sees this an opportunity but what of his and itadori's companionship. ruined by his desire of something's not his let alone belonging to someone else. itadori asked, could he lie? the cat's out of the box now so need for denial. megumi's narrowed eyes looking directly at itadori any signs for sarcasm but it doesn't. itadori was serious at the question. megumi coughs, closing the book he was holding in before straightening his posture in the chair and without a beat, fushiguro drops the answer itadori was waiting for.

"what if i say, i do." he says with no hesitation. there's that anticipation of being swung by itadori's fist in a heartbeat but it never happened. itadori blinks then his lips curl in a smile before chuckling. his brows furrowing at itadori's reaction, that's it? aren't you supposed to be upset or jealous that someone is telling you openly about desiring your girlfriend.

"i am too, fushiguro. thanks for being honest." itadori mutters, admiring at your sleeping form.

that was days ago and itadori couldn't shake the thought of megumi openly admitting he likes you. he did asked the question and megumi have been his friend for a long time now and he's open of megumi going down of you, only if you wishes so.

there's much more things to worry about when you're moving your hips sensually against his bulge. the friction leaving him to sink his fingers deeper in the flesh of your hips. guiding you to the depths of pleasure you were trying to get out from him, in which he gladly do so. teeth almost clashing and spits exchanging until your lips are wet from it. gripping his hair, making him groan and the sweet, breathy moans coming from you.

"c-cumming yuu!" you moan, signalling your impending orgasm and he coos, sings you praises how you were doing so good for him. his teeth finding home in the crook of your neck. biting into the flesh and your hands finding it's way to the strands of his pale pink hair and with a scream. grinding roughly on his length, hips moving into circles and with the rutting of his hips, you came undone. soiling your panties damp with your essence and his followed suit. busting his nut inside and he groans, feeling the stickiness of it. you both stared at each other. catching your breaths from the dry high.

itadori kisses your nose, then to your cherubic cheeks. eliciting the most sweetest giggles coming from you and he doesn't waste in telling you about something, someone.

"what do you think of fushiguro?" he brought up and the name earning a frown from you. confusion and your brows crinkles at the question. "what about fushiguro?" you asked back at him. he draws patterns at the skin of your waist. averting his gaze at you whenever in deep thought.

a silly but a possible idea popped up in your mind. "do you have hots for megumi, yuuji?" making a disbelief expression in your face as a way to tease him and a horrified expression morphs into his face. sputtering a quick no and shaking his head. "it's not like that, actually talked about you." he confesses.

"me?" he nods then explains the whole situation to you. about megumi liking you and his want for you to be with him. "are you pimping me to your friend?" you asked confused at the absurdity of the whole ordeal. "no, it's not like that. i just want him to be happy."

"and do you think it's the best idea?" he nods, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. the idea scares you and it will be megumi out of all people. it's not like you hated the guy. you were just simply intimated at his nature but he's a good guy and yuuji and him openly discussing he desires you. you're yuuji's girlfriend and admitting he likes you in front of yuuji. he sure have guts. it made you unsure and how itadori agrees with this. your mind running in gears with the question is this totally fine? in which itadori says so.

"will it make you happy?" the sound of your voice gentle and his heart skips a beat. considerate of what he wants, such a doting girlfriend he have. "if it is, okay." you added and that's the confirmation he need before swooping you for a heated kiss. the night ending in a good note.

there's a nagging voice inside his head. the gulps of a invisible lump in his throat and did the air seems to be humid than it is? he's speechless. you were kneeling, hands in your lap while you look at him. you were presented to him like a gift.

is this for real? he thought itadori was just kidding when he presented the idea of sharing you with him and with your consent. he can barely wait to sink his teeth into yours.

"be good for us." itadori whispers, biting the shell of your ear before dipping for a kiss, peering at his classmate, disbelief painting in his face. "come on fushiguro." the pink-haired boy calls out to him. moving to the side and megumi hesitantly sinks into the mattress. facing the girl he desires for months.

biting your lips unconsciously and megumi instinctively caress your cheeks with his hands and so ever gently pressed a kiss to your lips. he waits for a reaction, you never pushed him and he moves his lips, nibbles your lower lip and you're already in a daze.

itadori smiles at your reaction. looking relax and you're already accepting megumi. he can't help but to cup your jaw and move it to the side to kiss you deeply. there's that whine and mewling. your spit connecting to his and megumi finds it hot. looking so adorable and needy for the both of them. pushing you down to the soft mattress and he sucks on the skin in your pulse point in which earned him a delectable moan from you.

his nimble fingers unbuttoning your top and did he find the sight so appetizing. your chest in display, stomach riddled with stretch marks. you're a temptation. he can't help but to lick his lips. discarding his shirt and throwing it to the other side of the room.

you peered at your boyfriend and he meet your gaze in which he smiled. telling how good you are and it make your heart flutters. holding his hands for what to come when the spiked-haired boy is already nipping on your soft skin.

itadori joins in. his tongue swirling all over the expanse of your body. he looks at fushiguro. "you're not the only one who can enjoy my baby, fushiguro." in which the latter grunted. focusing on the way your body reacts to his ministrations.

it's to good to be a dream and megumi swallows your moans while swirling his tongue inside your mouth. your eyes turning glossy and there's a cry. itadori making his way to your sopping cunt. in which he didn't let your boyfriend do as he pleases with his tongue. his fingers replacing and that your cries gets louder while he pumps his thick fingers inside you.

it starts to get competitive between the two. their greediness baring it's fangs and there's a silent clash between them who can bring you the most pleasure. megumi could get more what he bargained for but it doesn't mean he couldn't be greedy when you're presented in front of him. itadori who knows your body than you, agrees with him.

let's just hope you can take what they'll give to you.

#ᝰ.ᐟ shai's drabbles #chubby reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x chubby reader #plus size reader #itadori x reader x fushiguro #itafushi x reader #itadori x reader #megumi x reader

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fishsticksloser · 7 months

Note

Since we have sfw mating season turtle's, what about a nsfw one?

HEAR ME OUT-

(Feel free to ignore if your uncomfortable or your too busy to do it)

Mating Season Pt2

Future RotTMNT x gn!reader

Warnings: smut ish, fluff, feral turtles, talk about rough sex, talk about biting/marking, wounds mentioned

A/N: I'm not gonna write small little drabbles, but I will go more in depth

Donnie

He still had precautions

But you insisted on helping him

Who was he to say no?

He went through everything his species does during mating season

He explains that you will have to be under water for an extended period of time

That he can bite and scratch

Donnie really really wants to make sure you're okay with everything that might happen

This is a huge step in your relationship

It doesn't matter how long you've been together, Donnie would never ask you to be with him during this time

You can tell it's starting because he gets more affectionate

Normally kissing your neck more

He talks about the way you smell

But when the time comes, you're there with him

He made sure there were things for you to do, things for your safety

Like oxygen for you when you're underwater

He made a really big nest for you

When you see it, he grins like a little kid

He made it for you after all

If you don't show that you like it, he'll tear it apart and restart

Donnie bites a lot

He does accidently scratch you a bit, but that was just because he was trying to hold on

He's also fiercely protective

He growls and snaps at literally anything

When he sleeps, he's wrapped around you, not allowing you to leave

You're his

When mating season is over Donnie is affectionate

He feels so bad for biting and scratching you

Being rougher than normal

He'll try to convince you not to join him again

Leo

Obviously there were still precautions

Can't have the boss going feral now can we?

Leo tried not to show when it's coming on, opting to remove you from the situation completely

But it doesn't work, he needs you too bad

Leo gets overly touchy

He taps your butt, your hips, your chest, your neck, your face

He whispers in your ears about how good you look, how you smell, how soft your skin is

The few nights before his rut actually starts, he's goes at it with everything he has

He mumbles about how pretty you are under/on top of him

But he keeps it passionate, not rough

When his rut actually starts it's a different story

He's loud

Moaning, whimpering, and... yes, talking

Leo is rough, but tries to make it pleasurable for you too

He's still a talker even when not in the middle of coitus

The tapping becomes a bit harder, more consistent

Mostly tapping your face, hips, and butt

He still whispers in your ears, but its more about what he wants to do to you, how pretty you look while he takes you

Leo bites a little, he still has some control of himself

If he feels like he's going to bite, he'll find something else to bite

The nest he builds is relatively small, but so comfy since he's allowed to have pillows and bulky blankets

When it's over, you better believe this man is worshipping your body

He'll cover any bite or scratch in kisses, making sure you feel loved beyond measure

Mikey

Since he's gotten older, it's gotten a bit worse

He's still pretty normal, but he can get territorial

Someone touches you (even by accident) or is talking to you?

You might wanna take him back to your room

He gets hot, literally since his ninpo is fire based

Mikey acts pretty normal until something happens to you (like stated above)

It's best if people stay away from you, especially his brothers

Leo has had a scar on his right arm (cause that's his prosthetic now) from Mikey attacking him after he helped you with something

Why specifically his brothers?

Because they're turtles too and they're too much like him so what if they try to steal you

That's Donnie's theory at least

The nest he builds is comfy and warm

He really likes having you in it all the time so it stays warm

He'll crawl in and snuggle with you, letting our tiny chuffs

He's not a biter at all during rut

Mikey does scratch a little, but its more when he's trying to hold on

He still has a lot of control, so he tends to be very loving and passionate

But on his bad days, he's slightly worse than Leo

He defiantly still talks, overall he's almost completely normal except for the territorial and protective aspect

Afterwards, he almost cries

No... He does cry over what he's done to you

He really needs reassurance that you're okay

Mikey will give you lots of cuddles and kisses a little while after they heal

Raph

He gets a bit like this

He also gets worse as he grows

Whereas when he was younger, he was pretty chill

Raph gets more territorial

People steer clear of both of you because of how big and scary Raph is

He tends to become a bit mindless, focusing on only you

He sniffs and nuzzles you, chuffing loudly

If anyone so much as looks at you, he growls and pulls you into him

His next is huge to fit his large body

When you see it, he pulls you into the nest, wanting to make sure you like it

It's not as bulky and soft as Leo or Mikey's but not as thin as Donnie's

He is a chaser, he will run after you

It's part of his species mating rituals

Though he does go slower than necessary due to how fast he is

Raph is a biter

The first few times, he bit you hard leaving a scar

Now he tries to get old tires, something else so he doesn't hurt you

He also scratches, trying to keep you close

When it's over, Raph will cry and apologize while he takes care of your wounds

He feels so bad

Like Donnie, he will also try to convince you not to join him again

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dreamescapeswriting · 28 days

Text

Petals Of Love ~ HJS

WORD COUNT: 2.9K

GENRE: Non idol, college au, established friendships, unrequited love, jisung blind to his feelings, reader almost dying, mentions of coughing and blood, hanahaki disease [Hanahaki disease is a fictional medical condition often depicted in anime, manga, and fan fiction. It's characterized by the symptoms of coughing up flower petals or blossoms due to unrequited love. ]

PAIRING: Jisung X Fem!Reader

⤜MASTERLIST

In the bustling city of Seoul, cherry blossoms painted the streets pink, and everywhere you went petals fell down and showered those around them creating a beautiful scene, but you hated it.

You had once loved the flowers but now they simply reminded you of the one person you could never have, the one person that was killing you slowly on the inside and didn't even know it. Your best friend. Jisung.

You'd always loved him but you hadn't realised the depth of your feelings until recently. It had started subtly, with you admiring his infectious laugh or his giant smile. The way he stored food in his cheeks or his passion for music. Everything about him drew him in. He even had a remarkable ability to see the best in people and bring joy to those around him mostly you.

"Dear? Is there something I can do for you?" A voice brought you out of your daydream as you slowly turned around to face an elderly woman who was staring at you. You took in her appearance, silver hair that cascaded down her back in gentle waves and she was dressed in a headscarf adorned with cherry blossoms. You'd been reading about her all week long, she was supposed to be the best herbalist in all of Seoul and you figured she'd be able to find a way to help you.

"I...I need your help," You stuttered, your voice barely above a whisper, and your hands were trembling.

"I have this... this illness. It's called Hanahaki. I'm in love with my best friend, Jisung, but... but he doesn't feel the same way. I'm coughing up petals, and I don't know what to do." Tears sprang to your eyes as you finally admitted it out loud to someone else. Ever since you'd started coughing up the petals you'd done everything you could to hide it, not wanting anyone to see you.

The herbalist listened attentively, her expression softening as she heard your plight. With a gentle touch, she reached out to comfort you.

"I'm sorry, my dear," the herbalist sighed, her voice heavy with regret.

"But there is little I can do for you. Hanahaki is a curse born of unrequited love, and its remedy lies not in herbs or potions, but in the depths of your heart." Your heart sank at the herbalist's words, your hopes dashed against the harsh reality of your situation. Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the gravity of your predicament.

"But... but there must be something!" You pleaded, desperation lacing your voice.

"I can't just let this disease consume me. Jisung... he means everything to me. I can't lose him." The herbalist's gaze softened, her eyes reflecting your anguish.

"My dear child," she murmured, her voice gentle yet firm.

"Sometimes, the greatest remedies come not from external sources, but from within ourselves. Only by confronting your feelings and expressing them honestly can you hope to find peace, whether it be in love returned or in letting go." With those words, the herbalist offered you a comforting embrace, a silent reassurance that you were not alone in your struggle.

"Confess your love and hope for reciprocation or face the consequences of a love unspoken." She told you softly as she rubbed the small of your back, the weight of everything pressing down on you as you began your walk back to your shared apartment with Jisung.

No matter how much you adored Jisung there was always someone else for him, someone he liked more than you. The thought of it made your throat close up until you coughed a little, petals falling into your hands, the beautiful pink in stark contrast to the blood red that covered them.

As you stepped into the apartment, you were instantly greeted by the scent of your home and Jisung running around excitedly, his energy infectious as it always was. The thoughts and problems of your day melted away instantly as he grinned in your direction,

"You're back!" He exclaimed, his eyes bright with excitement.

"I have some exciting news!" Curiosity piqued you set your bag down on the floor and walked toward him,

"What's the news?" You smiled.

"I met someone, her name is Emi and she's incredible! You have to meet her!" Your heart skipped a beat, a pang of longing shooting through you as you processed his words. It honestly felt as though it was going to be anyone but you at this point and your chest tightened, your throat burning as you felt the flowers making their way up making it feel as though you were going to choke. Forcing a smile onto your face you nodded,

"T...That's wonderful, I can't wait to meet her," You lied, doing your best to mask the ache in your chest as you spoke. It would be a while before you'd ever have to face her, Jisung was always slow when it came to relationships and never wanted to rush anything.

"Great! Chan is hosting a party tonight and she'll be there! I can't wait for you to meet her," Your smile faltered as you stared at him, this was faster than any of the past relationships he'd had.

"Tonight? But-" You didn't even have time to come up with some kind of excuse not to come.

"It'll be fun, I heard Lix is going to be there." He wiggled his eyebrows at you, he'd been trying to set you up with his friends for a while not catching that you weren't into them but rather him.

"Sounds good," You lied through your teeth, you could think of a million different places you wanted to be rather than at a party where you would watch him with someone else, hell being one of those places.

"You're the best, this is going to be so much fun!" He told you, embracing you in a tight hug as you squeezed your eyes shut, enjoying the fleeting moment of being so close to him while it lasted.

"Why not me," You whispered to yourself as he walked away from you, going to plan an outfit for the night and you coughed into your hand throwing away the petals into the bin.

The party pulsated with energy, its atmosphere electric with excitement and anticipation. Held in Chan's college house adorned with twinkling fairy lights and draped with cascading cherry blossom garlands, it resembled a scene straight out of a fairy tale. The sight of the garlands felt as though they were torturing you though, as if they were there to remind you of your unrequited love.

The air was alive with the sound of laughter and animated conversations, mingling with the rhythmic beat of music that reverberated through the room.

"This is exciting, right?" Jisung asked from beside you, the two of you went to almost all of Chan's parties and this one certainly felt more extravagant than the others that you'd been to in the past.

"Yeah it's nice," You whispered, letting your eyes linger on him for a second enjoying the way his eyes were lighting up at the sight of the party.

"Might be his best party yet," Jisung chuckled, nudging you softly as you nodded at him but you were in complete awe of him not to agree with everything he was saying. You forced a smile on your face, your heart pounding as you followed Jisung through the throng of partygoers. You tried to focus on the lively atmosphere, the music to try and drown out the whispers of doubt in your mind.

"Hey! Yn! Jisung!" Felix waves at you both and you smile, hugging him softly and relaxing as he whispers in your ear,

"Missed you little one," The two of you were close with one another, not in a romantic way but still close nonetheless.

"Have you seen Emi anywhere?" The mention of her name had you choking up as you stared at Felix,

"She was with Chan last I saw her." Without a second thought, Jisung left you and Felix alone, your eyes staring off after your best friend as you swallowed the nervous lump in your throat.

"She's the girl of the week then?" Felix teased softly, it was no secret that Jisung fell in love with a new girl faster than anyone else but it was something you found endearing about him.

"I guess so," You mumbled, reaching for a cup from a nearby tray and downing it instantly trying to forget everything that was going to happen tonight.

The two of you fell into casual conversation, catching up with one another as you walked through the party, your eyes finding Jisung instantly as you noticed just how close he was to Emi. Their hands linked with one another as you stared at him a sharp pang of pain shot through your chest, causing you to gasp for breath and clutch onto Felix.

A delicate petal, stained with blood fluttered from your lips, a cruel reminder of the curse that plagued your heart. Felix's eyes widened in shock as he stared at you,

"You okay?" He asked, his voice laced with worry as he pulled you to the side, trying to get you out of the crowded party. Your cheeks were burning with embarrassment as you tried to compose yourself,

"I-I'm fine," You stammered, your voice trembling a little.

"It's nothing." You lied, but Felix's eyes remained fixed on you, his eyes filled with understanding as he realised what was happening.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" He asked as you stared at him, your breath caught in your throat as you nodded silently, unable to find the words to express the depth of your emotions.

"You can't tell him," You begged, your hands clutching onto Felix's forearms as petals began to fall from your lips faster than before, more blood coating them with each falling petal.

"Yn, it'll kill you if he doesn't know." Something you already knew but even if you told him and he rejected you, you were going to die, you were fighting it as much as you possibly could.

"It'll kill me faster if he knows and rejects me," You croaked out, tears streaming down your cheeks as you shook your head. You'd thought about confessing a million times before, you'd written songs, letters, and poems but nothing was ever going to work because you knew he would never love you back.

"But-"

"There's nothing I can do Lix, either way I die." You mumbled, wiping the corners of your lips to remove the blood from them, sighing a little as you shrugged your shoulders.

"How do you know he doesn't love you?" You scoffed a little and shook your head, there was no way Jisung returned the feelings you had for him,

"He would have said something." You mumbled a little, looking down at the floor as Felix stared at you,

"Like you have to him?" He had you there but you just shook your head,

"I'm going to get some fresh air, keep him distracted...I don't want to meet Emi," You admitted as Felix nodded, always having your back no matter what.

The moon cast a gentle glow upon the garden, its silvery light dancing among the cherry blossoms like ethereal spirits. You stood at the threshold, your heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words and unrequited love. Each step felt like a burden, and your chest constricted with the pain of the Hanahaki disease.

With each laboured breath, you coughed, delicate petals stained with blood escaping your lips like crimson tears. The air was thick with the scent of cherry blossoms, their sweet fragrance mingling with the coppery tang of blood—a haunting reminder of the curse that plagued your heart.

As you stumbled forward, your vision blurred with tears, and the world around you seemed to spin, a dizzying whirlwind of colours and sensations. Your strength waned with each passing moment, your body growing weaker with every faltering step.

But still, you pressed on, driven by a desperate longing to be alone with your thoughts, to find solace amidst the tranquil beauty of the garden. Each petal that fell from your lips was a silent plea, a silent prayer for forgiveness and understanding. Darkness began to cloud your vision as you leaned up against a tree, trying to catch as much breath as you could but it was as though there was a filter to your lungs, stopping any viable air coming through.

In that moment of quiet surrender, you finally found peace—a fleeting glimpse of serenity amidst the chaos of your suffering. And as the night stretched on, the garden whispered its mournful lament, a solemn witness to the beauty of love unspoken and the tragedy of a life cut short.

"Have you seen Yn? I figured we'd go home together," Jisung said as he joined Felix in the kitchen but he shook his head,

"She was going for air the last I saw her," He admitted, he hadn't seen you for at least an hour now and he figured you'd gone home. Jisung smiled weakly and began to make his way through the people, his date with Emi couldn't have gone worse, it turned out she had a crush on Chan instead of Jisung and all he wanted was to go home and watch bad movies with you.

"Yn?!" He called out to the party, sighing a little at the thought of you going home alone. The two of you always went home together, dates or not. As he walked through the party, a hushed whisper reached his ears, a rumour that someone had been found unconscious in the garden. Panic built inside of him as he dashed toward the garden, his heart pounding with fear.

As he burst through to the garden his worst fears came true, you were lying on the floor surrounded by cherry Blossoms as people simply stared at you in awe. You were frail on the floor, a halo of petals surrounding you like a mournful shroud.

"Yn!" He cried out, his voice trembling with anguish as he rushed to your side, his hands trembling as he brushed bloodied petals from your chest. Your eyes fluttered open, your gaze clouded with pain as you struggled to breathe,

"Yn," He whispered, his voice choked on emotion. Tears welled in Jisung's eyes as he took in the sight of your frail form, the severity of the situation finally sinking in.

"Oh, Yn," Jisungwhispered, her voice choked with emotion, the thought of all of this happening to you.

"What happened? Why didn't you tell me?" He pleaded with you, the sound of distant sirens blasting through the air, your response was a weak cough, a delicate petal stained with blood escaping your lips—a silent testament to the depth of your suffering.

Realization dawned upon Jisung like a bolt of lightning, illuminating the darkness of his ignorance. He'd been blind to your silent struggle, oblivious to the agony hidden beneath your friend's smiles and laughter.

"I'm so sorry," He murmured, his voice trembling with regret as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I didn't know... I didn't realize..." With each passing moment, your strength waned, your breaths growing shallower as the petals threatened to suffocate your fragile lungs.

"I wrote a letter and threw it away, 'cause god just knows that I'll never say I think about you every day...I-I know you'll never see me that way." You coughed out before everything faded to black, Jisung's hands shaking you as he begged you to come back to him.

"Yn...Yn, can you hear me?" The voice was gentle yet urgent, pulling you back from the brink of oblivion. With a faint groan, you stirred, your eyes fluttering open as you squinted a little.

"Jisung?" You mumbled, your voice hoarse from how dry your throat was.

"You're in the hospital, you collapsed," Jisung whispered, his hands griping yours with trembling hands, you stared at him and took in his appearance, it looked like he'd barely slept and his eyes were bloodshot.

"What...What happened?" You thought for sure you would have died right then and there, it had been the only reason you'd admitted your feelings to him.

"You were coughing up blood...petals...Yn, why didn't you just tell me?" He squeezed your hand and you shook your head, looking back on it, it all seemed silly not to tell him the truth.

"I was scared I was going to lose you," You admit as you slowly sat up in the bed,

"And I nearly lost you," He choked, kissing your hand softly as you watched him,

"How am I-"

"Alive? After you passed out...I finally realised I love you, I always have and I just cried into your chest," He laughed nervously and wiped the tears away from his cheeks.

I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I just didn't know how to tell you." He admitted as you stared at him in complete shock,

"You saved my life," You whispered as you swallowed and for the first time in forever it didn't hurt, it felt pain-free as you finally didn't feel the urge to cough anymore.

"I love you, Jisung." You whimpered a little./

"I love you too, Yn," He whispers, leaning down and kissing you softly as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck bringing him closer to you.

In that moment, amidst the sterile walls of the hospital room, you felt a weight lift from your chest—a burden lifted by the power of love and the courage to speak your truth. And as Jisung leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, you knew that this was exactly where you belonged—in the arms of the man you loved, your heart finally at peace.

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#skz #skz x reader #skz imagine #skz imagines #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagine #han jisung imagines #jisung #jisung x reader #jisung imagine #jisung imagines

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novantinuum · 2 months

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mmmmmmm. messy ass ramble thoughts ahead. this is not coherent, it is 1am, you have been warned.

so i've been thinking about that "i can fix anything! i can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it!" line during steven's lil manic panic moment in the ep everything's fine in the context of like... og SU episodes

this whole lil manic slip is one that's like... it seems a little extreme for him as a character at first, when one looks at the situation on surface.

but i think it really does shed a LOT of light onto one of his deepest fear. the same fear he's harbored for a good damn deal of the show.

"i didn't wanna hurt anyone!"

this moment comes just a few eps after the S3 finale 'reveal' of rose shattering pink diamond. in that final scene of the season, steven gets 'confirmation' from garnet that this happened, and seems to accept it for what it was- a difficult decision made amidst a treacherous war.

but also, he Doesn't.

because he's the legacy rose left behind. because each and every day he's growing more into his power. because now, with this reveal of rose's decision to shatter on the table, he's putting each and every decision he makes under a microscope.

he had no choice, he claims. she wouldn't let him help her.

he had no choice. it was self defense.

but is that true?

isn't that the same thing his mom probably told herself before ending a gem's life forever?

even though she poofed bismuth and holed her away for suggesting the very same idea??

rose became a hypocrite... so what if HE becomes the hypocrite, too?

see, with steven... i think it's really easy in the main show to sorta... observe all his actions on the mere surface without considering the deeper tickings of his psyche. like... take lars being brought back to life. from audience POV, that's a good deed. steven just saved someone with his magic! positive moment.

but genuinely... i think this was one of the worst moments of his entire life. i think he's still haunted by it- by the fact that he can just "fix" people in that way. and i think fixing jasper's shattered gem only made the specter of that day worse.

steven believes his role is to be the Shield.

the protector.

the one who is willing to do whatever it takes- even up to turning himself in for a crime he didn't commit- to protect his family and his friends.

and like, we all know that it's not steven's FAULT that lars died. BUT- he still died while under steven's protection.

and so the same way steven blames himself for "hurting" bismuth, jasper, and eyeball, he blames himself for killing lars. mentally, he Takes Responsibility for his death. yet another tick mark in the box of horrible "mistakes" he's made, yet another tick mark landing him just a little closer to the rose he's desperately trying not to become.

and worst of all... it's a mistake he "covers up."

because his tears are able to bring him back from the dead entirely.

and years later he realizes this is true for gems as well ;-;;;

so yeah, i absolutely think lars' death was also at the back of his mind when he said that line at the beginning

what steven saw in the depths of his mind as he was panicking there was him slipping down a slippery slope of violence that he couldn't escape from

first, causing harm to other gems and calling it self defense...

then, letting your friend die protecting YOU when you're the one who should be protecting him and facing NO consequence for this misgiving because you bring him back to life

then, expressing anger so visceral it can shatter floors, destroy whole rooms, flip vans. out of control. inexcusable.

then... outright shattering a gem in a duel while training to hone that anger. once again, facing NO consequence because you bring her right back.

then, that sudden, terrifying thought of "what if i shattered white diamond"

like, steven has absolutely no framework by which to separate his actions from genuine desire or just plain abstract thought.

he has no framework by which to understand the beautiful tool of adding a "man would it be fucked up or what-" to the beginning of those sorts of intimidating, dark musings.

he has no framework by which to understand the complexities of his trauma, and the way in which genuinely fighting back against someone he once called an enemy might feel empowering- instead, it would seem he's disgusted in retrospect with how deep he pressed into that fight, how much a part of him ENJOYED it, all because of the horrid destination it led to.

anyways at this point steven thinks he has now become the Hypocrite like his mom, and that he's just destined to hurt everyone around him forever but never be punished for it and Ouch

this post has no end, these were just ramble thoughts, the end. goodnight. i am sleepy and need to prepare to make Wig tomorrow bc OH boy i am con crunch.

yeehaw .

#jen rambles #su #su future #steven universe #su meta #???? maybe???#it's messy but it is Thoughts

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daydreamcloudshiding · 5 months

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#3 Astrology Observations

People with Venus conjunct Jupiter aspect in natal are such big hearted people. They have so much love to give, the kind to just love love. People are easily charmed by them

Sun-Moon squares in synastry create this competitive vibe between them, especially coming from the Sun person. The Sun person feels like the Moon is trying to overshadow them in some way, even if both are such nice people. The Moon person can feel that the Sun person is overbearing. With Sun-Moon opposites, they simply have difficulties in understanding each other. But with time, they can work it out. But with squares, the competitive vibe can be challenging

People with Venus conjunct Pluto aspect in natal are intense when in love because they believe that when it comes to love, there has to be pain and sacrifices. This doesn't always means that it's toxic, though. It's just means that they are willing to sacrifice for their love, regardless of what other people say

A lot of Scorpios that I've met really wanted that stable, loving, and deep connection in love but always go for those people with toxic tendencies. What this creates is trauma-bonding instead of that stable and deep emotional connections. An example for this would be they will date/marry someone that everyone knows (like it's so painfully obvious) that this person has several toxic ex or abusive relationships, so there's a pattern. They will date this person thinking that they are the one who can handle this person/a relationship with this person. I think that they often mistake intensity with depth, it's not the same so be careful with that

People with a lot of Taurus / 2nd house in their natal chart, careful to not get stuck in your comfort zone

You know how people always talk about how mysterious Scorpios are, how secretive they are? The developed ones are actually the most honest and straightforward people I know, even about their darkest feelings. They are not afraid to admit their own raw and albeit sometimes dark and embarrassing emotions like jealousy, anger, hate, shame, fear, etc. They own up to it, and see if they can make peace with it. If you're childish or somewhat afraid of your own shadow sides, you will not like Scorpios. But if you too can recognise this side of you, you will feel so inspired by them. Ultimately, Scorpios seek to overcome their own limitations. The undeveloped ones will sometimes project this shadow sides onto others and be so judgemental, perfectionistic. But the developed ones? They are so intuitive and have that power within themselves to overcome and make peace with their own weaknesses. Nothing can stop them, not even their own fears. They always rise like the phoenix. This is also may resonate with you if you have 8th house placement in your natal

Something about Scorpio's sister sign as well, which is Taurus, is that people seems to perceived them as greedy, while in my experience with them, it's not about greediness at all. It's about Taurus f*cking love their comfort zone so much that they will hold onto things, people, and places even if they are no longer serve them. The undeveloped ones hates uncertainty so much, while the developed ones will be the ones who is always grounded and stable in uncertain situations. Nothing can break them, they are so resilient. They are not afraid of change, not afraid of a little chaos. This also may resonate with you if you have 2nd house placement in your natal

Uranus in 10th house people have this unstable public image that's just kind of all over the place to be honest. This is my own personal experience with some of them, like one day they dressed very girly and the next time you see them dressed very boyish. They do good things to maintain "good" persona to the public like charity and very focused on their career (like they seem to always working, giving the impression like they are a good hard working person), but at the same time they have no proper plan for their career and they also cheat on their boyfriend or dated questionable people who most likely can or will ruin their public image. I have no idea what to think of them

Pisces MC in composite will make people think that the relationship is simply not making any sense. People will also think that the relationship is fake. There is a spiritual bond here, but mostly it's something that may evoke artistic tendencies. Like if you're an artist, you may only date them so that you can write songs or poetry about them. I'm not saying that it's shallow. But there's that vibe to it

In my experience, people with a lot of water in their chart can be so emotionally unavailable and prone to act selfishly. They get so easily overwhelmed by their own emotions that they may fail to recognise that others too have emotions, perhaps just as intense as theirs. Yes, they may be intuitive, but again and again, they fail to recognise other people's emotions

Again, my own experience, If you have Southnode-Mars synastry, for some reason the southnode person gets easily jealous of the Mars's accomplishment or confidence

A lot of people say how spiritual Pisceans are. In my own experience, it's Sagittarius and Libras who are so spiritual and open-minded. Pisces kind of reminds me a lot of Capricorn, but their approach and how they express themselves is more softer and somehow elusive; both Pisceans and Capricorns are skeptics. But they don't necessarily will express it. Pisces might not do it because they don't want to offend people, while Capricorn might not do it because they simply don't see this as something important. The thing is, if something somehow makes zero sense or give them the impression that it's a loss of their free will, they will not buy it. They actually dislike being perceived too. Pisceans will show this by being secretive or withdrawn, Capricorn by doing the exact opposite of what you tell them. If you tell a Pisces that they are artistic, spiritual, etc they will try to confuse you instead by show less of these characteristics in front of you, while Capricorn will just straight up tell you that they are the exact opposites or they will focus to do math, science, etc just to prove that you're wrong and can't tell them who they really are

The undeveloped side of the 12th house in Pisces people manifest as those who creepily morph into whoever the sleep with

My experiences with Pisces sun / Pisces dominant people is the more passive they are with you (always agree with you, follow whatever you want, etc) it's actually not because they like you or love you but the exact opposite of that, which is they either really dislike you and hate to use their energy to argue with you or they just afraid of you and see you as toxic. I noticed people thought that if a Pisces follow whatever you want that means that they like you or love you so much, it's not. They don't feel safe with you and it's only a matter of time before they leave you. These people are very passive and if they happen to have a lot of Aquarius/Sagittarius in their chart, they ghost people a lot because they have these avoidant tendencies

The sign in your 12th house also can manifest as your guilty pleasures. For example, if your 12th house is in Aries, Aries people might come into your life as these people who will give you the exact relationship that will make you question your morals. Like you know that it's wrong, but you can't help feeling attracted to them. They will show you your shadow-side as well. And even after they're gone, you can't ever really hate them because it's not a lie or illusions and the scary part is you know it. In fact, maybe the good-proper image that you have is instead the one thing that is a lie. This is an extreme example, but let's say you think of yourself as someone who is logical and always follows the rule, the 12th house sign will come into your life and show you that as it turns out, you hate the fact that you always have to follow the rule and be good. That there's something else underneath it all

#astrology #astro community #astro notes #astrology notes #astrology observations

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thesensteawitch · 1 month

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NEXT CHAPTER IN YOUR LIFE!🐝

Pick A Pile Reading

🌷(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)🌷

Hello, Senstea Souls! 💫

I am back with another collective reading. Make sure you pick your pile intuitively!

If you wish to book a personal reading with me then you can refer to the links below:

~Rate Card

~Booking Form

Also, I would be really grateful if you tip my blog.

Pile 1

Tarot Cards- Three of Swords, Knight of Swords, Two of Cups, Two of Swords, Eight of Cups, Page of Wands, Six of Pentacles, Eight of Pentacles

Hello, pile 1. You are a giver. There's so much depth in your heart that you must let the world dive in and see all that resides within your magical space. I can feel a push and pull within you. On one side, you want to give in to the energy of the source (the creative force), but on the other hand, you only showcase what you think the world deems important. You want to be loved, but not based on your authenticity but on the preferences of others. Are you a writer? Do you journal? What's this message I'm sensing about sounds for you? Perhaps listen more. Someone broke your heart, or are you pulling the strings of your heart? You have walked away from your gifts, and this next chapter of your life is pushing you to rewrite your life and not burn the whole book. The next chapter is about slowly but mindfully walking away from something that was breaking your heart silently. Go slow, but don't stop. Soon, the universe will bless you with a harmonious connection and will clear the air between you and someone or something you love dearly. In this next chapter, the universe will pay you back for every ounce of strength you invested in this difficult situation you went through. The universe wants you to know that you're protected and that your kind heart is safe in the hands of the universe. The universe is removing anyone or anything that broke your heart and is going to fill that space with divine love and connections. This next chapter of your life asks you to fall in love with your art. Your art is a gift; show it to the world. A lot of financial stability will come your way if you choose to give rather than take from the world.

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- Page of Swords, Eight of Cups, Eight of Swords, The Empress, Knight of Cups, Death, Queen of Wands, Five of Wands

Don't be afraid, but the universe is going to forge you towards your destiny by ending some toxic ties with people who are dimming your confidence. The next chapter of your life is going to be about realizing who you are and tapping into the authenticity of your being. You need to validate your tiniest of achievements. This is how you'll be regaining your confidence. I see challenging energy at work; make sure you're using your power wisely. In this next chapter, you may feel stuck, which will lead to what you have been trying to create ending up in shackles. So please take care and make sure this doesn't happen. In this next chapter of your life, you'll be clearing up the toxicity in your work and love lives. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. You'll be realizing your true potential. After you heal from these situations, you'll be blessed with unexpected blessings in love and finances. Don't give up yet! Keep doing what you're doing. You'll soon see the results, and a lot of blessings will come your way that will be emotionally fulfilling. Walk with confidence, and everything will be fine. People can easily pick up on your energy, so come out strong and passionate about your work. And when it comes to relationships, walk away gracefully. After a lot of pain and challenges, abundance will be coming your way!

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- Queen of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, Eight of Cups, Strength, Knight of Cups, Two of Cups

"You know what's best for you, pile 3! In this next chapter of your life, your dreams are coming true. Something you never dreamed of is going to happen. All the spiritual work and hard work that you've been doing is going to pay off soon. Justice will happen for you in this next chapter because you're now doing the right thing for others and, most importantly, for yourself. You will embody the spirit of a lion and the intuition granted by the moon. People will recognize you and your power. You'll walk away from anything that didn't serve you and will be heading towards a soulmate connection. Your creativity is going to take you far in life. If you've been wanting to study or teach for a long time, then that's what will happen for you in this next chapter. Expect the best for yourself, and it will be. Release all doubts! You have called your power back, and you're going to gracefully claim it now. You will be healed in this next chapter of your life from any wound that has been keeping you stuck in a cycle. I also see you going on dates and resting well. You'll have financial stability and a lot of love for your work. For some of you, I also see you walking away from someone who made big promises to choose someone who would do anything for you. This other person will be your great supporter. I am so happy for you, pile 3."

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