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strawberrymilkgeorge · 3 years

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Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

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#dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #smau #social media au #dreamwastaken smau #rpf #real person fiction

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hematomes · 3 years

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I saw your post about ppl losing their shiz about Kaeya fanart being “whitewashed” when it’s literally darker than he is in canon. I agree btw I love like basically all Kaeya art out there I love one eyepatch man.

anyhoo, I have a story. I once saw a tiktok about a kaeya art. it was specifically labeled “IN PROGRESS” or whatever so you knew the artist wasn’t done. it was a gorgeous piece of art btw. So far, the only thing that had been colored was his hair and some of his clothes.

pretty much everyone in the comments started harrasing her about how he was whitewashed and the artist had to be a white supremacist and i think someone said “see I knew everyone who played genshin was racist just delete the game at this point.”

i was just like 😳 wow jeez it’s literally IN PROGRESS the artist legit said so.

the artist eventually posted the final version (after having to delete the first video and deal with several threats) it did turn out beautiful, but on the comments there and on every post of theirs after people are lurkign in the comments bad-mouthing them.

as much as I definitely am for characters not being whitewashed (especially Kaeya bc I love him your honor) I think some people take it way too far when the person they’re yelling at literally just wanted to get people excited about their WIP.

hi! sorry im so late this issue became quite sensitive lol i had to work up the courage to come back to it. it's gonna be a bit long, but i really need to say all this

if there's one thing i noticed about the genshin community on tiktok and twitter, it's that there is a whole, whole lot of social justice warriors and overall it's extremely toxic. it's something that surprised me because the people i interact with on tumblr are all super sweet and not one bit toxic so? idk, tumblr is just a different breed i guess

your story is extremely saddening. everytime there's a kaeya fanart, people forget about the color theory and the artists' style and claim it's whitewashed and i genuinely don't understand why. if someone could explain it to me, am i missing something? im not an artist so perhaps im mistaken, idk, but i've never seen a fanart where kaeya was whitewashed.

the thing that pisses me off the most is that most of the time it's white ppl calling something whitewashed. i'm not saying you shouldn't call out racism if you see it just bc you're white, just that these people aren't even right - and often you see poc coming into the debate and explaining it's not whitewashed/saying it doesn't bother them. moreover, i've literally seen fanart of beidou as a black girl, which isn't representation in my opinion - beidou is already a poc, and asian people need at least as much representation as black people, so it's plain racism. same thing with kaeya, i've seen edits of him with stereotypical african features, and it's really sad that no one is calling this out but yelling about whitewashing as soon as he isn't the exact same color as the official arts. hell, someone even said "so what if it's darker? it's still whitewashing" and i??? am flabbergasted. whitewashing is absolutely disgusting, but ppl keep misunderstanding what it means and just using it to gratuitously harass artists.

now, don't get me wrong. i believe that you can draw whatever you want. but the thing is - if you get mad when someone draws kaeya white (if they really do, i mean), you can't just applaud someone else's that draws another character black. racism goes both ways, and it's bordering on fetishism. i, as a poc (mixed-race, caucasian + african), am extremely uncomfortable everytime i see this double-standard.

but anyway, the fact remains that sjw have plagued the genshin fandom. and it's not just about kaeya's skin color (we don't even know if he's really a poc - we know he's tan according to paimon, and i believe she called him "exotic"? so idk) but also about the ships. everytime i see a shippy tiktok, there's plenty of ppl out here saying it's wrong, claiming their own ship is the most canon. if i'm not mistaken, kaeluc is the one that gets the most hate, and i genuinely, once again, don't understand why.

i talked about them before and explained how it's not incest bc they really aren't brothers, but i swear every now and then i see people throwing death threats and slurs anytime someone hints at them. idk if you are familiar with the eng va's fandom, but sometimes they play among us together, aether's va does some livestreams where he invites different voice actors. but diluc's va is never there, and i was wondering why - recently i learned that it's because he retweet a fanart of kaeya and diluc fighting alongside each other (not even a shippy fanart, apparently) and people harassed him and excluded him from the fandom. and now the same thing is happening to griffin burns, childe's va, bc he retweeted (or liked, idk) a fanart of lumine and childe fighting or something and people called it pedophilia bc lumine would be a minor. i'm not even gonna dive into this bc the travelers are canonically like 30 times childe's age, but what i mean is - people are so full of hate and i can't fathom living like this?

the point is, i totally respect anyone who doesn't ship something i ship. i myself don't like certain ships - like zhongli/xiao, jean/diluc - but im not gonna harass ppl who do just because i can? that's messed up, i just don't get it. i wish the fandom wasn't that bad bc i really enjoy this game

anyway, im really disappointed but still grateful, bc my followers & people i've interacted with here have been nothing but sweet and respectful. i hope none of y'all come across the toxic side of the genshin fandom. stay safe y'all!

#not a quote #answered #genshin impact #kaeya #genshin kaeya #whitewashing #racism #i'm so tired of the genshin fandom on tiktok you have no idea #and i don't even use tiktok that much #and im not even on twitter

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dirtyoatmeall · 3 years

Text

Good for you

A/N: Wow sorry I've been gone!! I suddenly got back into reading and suddenly found myself in the middle of multiple series! anywayz, I finally listened to Olivia Rodrigo's new album so here is a songfic for good for u. I ended up going in a completely different direction than I had in mind. It's also long as fuck. I proof scanned it, but it's like 18 pages, as always sorry for the incorrect grammar, I do what I want. Call me Maybe will be getting one soon as well :)

Pairing: ex!Kageyama x reader, foreshadowed Atsumu x reader

Genre: angst? hurt/comfort? Its sad for pretty much most of it.

Word Count: 10.3k (im so sorry)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drinking, implied adult themes, all characters are 21+ !!, detailed breakup. 16+ only por favor

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.

Your phone chimed, alerting you of a new text, you reached for it on the side table, pausing the movie you were watching. It was a message from Shoyo and an image: ‘I’m sorry, I figured it’d be better if I told you instead of finding out on Twitter.’ Your brow pinched, what could that mean? You unlocked your phone to open the text.

The pinch deepens as you zoom in on the picture, eyes beginning to prickle with tears. It was a photo- most likely taken by a fan or paparazzi- of Tobio, your boy-, ex-boyfriend. He was with a woman, she seemed slightly familiar, probably a model or something along those lines. Your face heated and shame burned in your chest, the embrace they were in looked so intimate; private, that it seemed wrong to look. You deleted the image and left Shoyo on read for now; you’d reply when you’re in a better headspace.

It had only been a couple of weeks and he had already moved on, meanwhile, you were just starting to not cry at the little reminders of him scattered about your apartment. He hadn’t even come to get his stuff. You sniffle and walk over to the wall to your left; the picture wall- and gently take one of the photos off, smiling faintly at the memory it brings to the surface.

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?

The sun filtered through the blinds, casting a soft glow around the room. Groaning, you squint at the brightness before rolling over. Your eyes find blue ones, startling you slightly. He chuckles softly, voice deep and gravelly with sleep; sending heat through your body. “you’re so jumpy in the morning.” he whispered in the otherwise empty apartment.

You roll your eyes and let him pull you into his chest, listening to his heartbeat and his fingers traced lazy shapes into your hip. “Shut up, you know it takes me a day or two to adjust after you’ve been gone.”

You meant for the words to be light; not expecting the emotion you heard behind them. He sighs, arm winding tighter around your waist as he kisses the top of your head. You bring your head up to meet his gaze and shift in his arms, frown tugging on your lips. “’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

He sighs again, shaking his head softly. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, I should, for never being home, missing holidays and-“ You put a hand against his lips silencing him, brows drawn tightly together.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for either. I knew what I was getting into when we got together, it didn’t bother me in school and it doesn’t bother me now. I’d much rather you live out your dream than being stuck here with me all the time.” You feel his mouth open to object, but your hand stays firm. “I’m serious Tobio, I mean every word.” He nods against your hand and you release him. You flush slightly at the open emotion in his gaze. He pulls you into a kiss, murmuring against your lips. “I don’t know how I got so lucky with you, I promise I’m gonna give you the world.”

And good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself. I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped

A few days later you meet Shoyo for lunch, a new onigiri place where he apparently knows the owner. He sighs as he sets down his menu, your eyes snapping back your own, pretending like you’ve been mulling it over this whole time. “Alright, go ahead and ask.”

You look up from your menu, feigning innocence. “Hm? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” He rolls his eyes and raises an eyebrow. You hold his gaze for a few moments before your shoulders sag in defeat. Your eyes fall to the table as you pick at the corner of the laminated menu. He gives you a minute to collect your thoughts before he places his hand atop yours, a sad smile gracing his features.

“(Y/N), it’s normal to want to know how he’s doing.” You chew your lip and mumble, “Well he’s obviously doing good since he already moved on.”

He continues as if you hadn’t spoken. “He started going to that therapist you recommended a day or so after,” he pauses, trying to gauge where your mind is. You’re meeting his gaze, and he can see you got what he was implying so he continued. “He’s been going consistently; says it’s really helped him.” You nod, blocking out his next words; too busy thinking about how you’re going to find a new therapist.

Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl

As you eat, you think over his words. You swallow and take a deep breath, trying to instil confidence in yourself. “Are they… good together?” Your voice comes out softer than intended and you inwardly cringe. He smiles faintly and nods. “They are.” You nod in understanding and turn your focus back to your meal.

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me-If you ever cared to ask

You knew it was inevitable, your apartments aren’t that far apart, you just wished it wasn’t so soon.

You were grocery shopping for the week, trying to figure out how many oranges to get before settling on 4 with a sigh, you toss them into your cart, turning around to see blue eyes at the other end.

You inhale sharply, your gazes met and he was too close for you to run away, leaving only one option. You were suddenly glad you met Shoyo for breakfast this morning, you were dressed up a bit, but you weren’t so glad when you became queasy. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped, letting it fall shut. You feel your face flush with heat and you duck your head, mumbling a soft “sorry!” and move to continue down the aisle, hoping he’d let you go.

Those hopes were crushed with the hand that gently captured your elbow, halting your escape as he turned you to face him. You were silent for a moment before he realized he was still gripping your elbow, dropping his hand to his side. You crossed your arms around your middle, trying to look- be smaller, small enough to get away. Though the rational side of you knew it wouldn’t happen, that you’ve known each other too long to simply stop. So you raised your gaze, uncurling your arms and bringing your shoulders back to at least look the part of an old friend caught by surprise, smiling as you spoke.

“Oh, Kageyama! I didn’t see you there, how are you?” He cringed ever so slightly at the use of his last name, filling you with a sick sense of pride that weighed uncomfortably in your chest. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a brunette coming up to him, not noticing you as she surveyed the list in her hand.

“Babe, did you find the oranges? Oh, remind me to pick up my birth control at the phar-“ Her eyes widened as she noticed you; cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment. Unfazed, Kageyama snorted softly, wrapping an arm around her waist before turning back to you. “This is Yumi, babe, this is (Y-) uh, (L/N).” You smiled and waved, which she mirrored, going to speak but instead was interrupted by you, who had decided to spare all of you of the awkwardness of prolonging the conversation. “It’s nice meeting you Yumi, and it was nice seeing you Kageyama, but I gotta run.”

They nodded and waved in farewell as you continued down the aisle, letting out a deep breath before heading into the next aisle. You needed more alcohol.

Good for you. You're doin' great out there without me, baby. God, I wish that I could do that.

You saw them a few more times during your shopping trip. You had wanted to leave right away, but you had been putting off groceries for too long, and leaving your cabinets and fridge almost barren. Thankfully they were always far enough where if you accidentally made eye contact a smile in passing was warranted enough.

As you contemplated between mini pizzas or a large pizza, you heard a loud giggle from further down the aisle. Your head turned towards the noise instinctively and you saw them at the end, near the ice cream, which you hoped they moved soon because that was next on your list. They were laughing, her arms around his waist as she looked up at him, he had an arm around her, resting on her hip as he met her gaze and you felt your chest tighten and an emotion you definitely did not want to name and wanted to shove down, down far enough to forget it. They looked the part of smitten lovers, and you decided you didn’t need ice cream all that bad and grabbed the mini pizzas before heading to checkout, continuing to ignore the emotion swelling, weighing down your chest and moving up to your throat.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

You took a deep, shuddering breath that broke halfway into a gasping sob. The emotion was suffocating, burning in the back of your throat and pulsing against your skull as you hugged your knees to your chest, the cold press of the tub against your back doing nothing. You tried to take a breath again but your chest was too tight, it was constricting your lungs, pushing hot tears down your cheeks and pulsing harder as with the ringing in your ears.

You could faintly comprehend the door to the bathroom opening, but didn’t look up as someone wrapped their arms around you, pulling you to them; the feel of fabric twisting in your grasp somewhat grounding as they smoothed down your hair, their words muffled under the ringing. You couldn’t think about the tears and who knows what else dampened their shirt, couldn’t think of anything except the emotion weighing so heavy in your chest you were positive it was going to break your ribs, break through you and continue down, down, deep underground.

You have no clue how long you were there with them, not even sure how long before they arrived. They shifted their arms to pick you up, and you let them, not even moving your hands from their place on the shirt, you were sure they were glued there, the tears acting as an adhesive. Sobs still racked your frame as you were set down, tucked under the covers of your bed before the person laid next to you, resuming their soothing touches as the weight in your chest slowly lightened, gradually releasing its grip on your lungs as the ringing quieted, allowing you to hear the slew of soothing words softly coming from the person next to you.

But as the emotion lessened its grip on you, tiredness swiftly replaced it, the pounding at your temples only encouraging the darkness to weigh you down, until it settled over you like a blanket, your fingers laxing enough for them to fall back to your side. Your breathing slowed, the occasional hiccup breaking the silence as you slept.

But you’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it, but I guess good for you

Shoyo let out a deep breath as he gently shut the door to your bedroom behind him, shoulders slumping with exhaustion when he heard the latch click. He dragged a hand down his face, combing his fingers through his hair as he went to your kitchen to finish putting away your groceries, throwing away what was defrosted before collapsing on your couch, pulling out his phone, debating whether or not to text the person likely responsible for your tears. Turns out he didn’t even have to, they had already called him and left a message about an hour ago, a little after Shoyo first got to your apartment. He brought the phone up to his ear as he pressed play.

“Hey, I ran into (Y/N) at the store today, you know I thought you might be right; that our friendship ended with the breakup, but it was like nothing had changed! She even met Yumi though Yumi didn’t notice at first and started talking about her birth control,” a laugh, “I don’t know why you were so worried, she seems perfectly fine. I was thinking about having a little get together in a few weeks, Yumi really wants to meet everyone from Karauno, you both should come! Oh one sec, what? Okay! Sorry, I gotta go, Bye.”

Shoyo slid down the couch slightly, groaning as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Really? He was glad you stocked up on alcohol at the store because after hearing that, he needed a drink.

Well, good for you, I guess you're gettin' everything you want. You bought a new car and your career's really takin' off.

Two weeks later you sat on your couch, eyes focused on the match televised. You tell yourself you’re watching the tournament to see who Shoyo will end up going against; if you can give them any pointers, though a part of you knows it’s a lie.

At the end of the match, the Adlers, no, To- Kageyama, had scored the winning point, securing a spot in the semi-finals. You lifted the remote to change the channel, but you froze as the camera zoomed in on the edge of the court, where you watched Yumi jump into his arms, he threw his head back laughing as he spun her around before kissing her. You could hear the commentators discussing the game after making a cheeky comment but you tuned it out. You watched them walk off the court, snapping out of the trace as soon as the camera cut to the other team. You quickly turned it off. Taking a deep breath in your silent apartment.

You were going through your Instagram feed when you came across a post from Tobio. It was him and Yumi in front of a new car, kissing. You noticed it had multiple pictures, and swiped through, all of them of the couple. The last one was the most recent, earlier today, in fact, you recognized the jersey of the other team in the background. You part of the caption, deciding to scroll past before scrolling back up to read the long paragraph that was pretty much a love letter to Yumi. You bit your lip and liked it, cursing afterwards, you didn’t want him to know you still followed him. You debated unfollowing but decided against it, it’d only look weirder if you had liked a post and weren’t following him. You couldn’t get his expression out of your head, he looked so happy.

It's like we never even happened. Baby, what the fuck is up with that?

Over the next few days you received multiple texts from Kageyama, updates on his family; that they were asking about you, wanting you to visit, an invitation to a small gathering they were having next week, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Yachi were in town and he wanted to introduce Yumi to everyone. And several attempts to start a conversation.

You replied to all of them, thanking him for the update, politely declining the invitation; using work as an excuse, and you halfheartedly tried to keep up with the conversations until it got to be too much. It was like nothing happened, like he hadn’t suddenly broken up with you, after almost 7 years together. There were times you wanted to remind him, but decided against it. You didn’t want to be the bitter ex, you wanted to move on, like he had.

And good for you, it's like you never even met me

You think Shoyo had a talk with him.

After it all became too much, the media, the texts, the times he tried to call you, you told Shoyo. He was furious, ignoring your pleas to just leave it be as he left your apartment.

Later that night he came back, less angry and with takeout. When you had asked where he went he just smiled and told you not to worry about it. You watched movies the rest of the night. When you awoke the next morning there were no texts from Kageyama, and nothing on social media. Your nosiness got the best of you and you looked him up, only to furrow your brow as the results came up blank. You checked the other social media you had each other on and couldn’t find him anywhere. You didn’t dare text him, just in case, but it was obvious- he had blocked you, on everything.

There was an emotion curling in your chest, but you couldn’t quite name it. You didn’t know how to feel about it, so you stayed in bed for a few more hours before migrating to the couch. Shoyo didn’t come over that night, and you hated that you were slightly relieved.

Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you?

You sighed, still slightly out of breath and damp with sweat, snuggling into the body next to you regardless, smile stretching your lips. He tightened his arm around your waist, petting your hair as he shifted onto his side, bringing you closer and tangling your legs together. You wrapped your arms around his neck loosely, softly kissing his throat, right below his adam's apple before resting your face against his collarbone. He shuddered and drew you impossibly closer. “I know I don’t say it as often as I should, but I love you (Y/N), so much. I swear sometimes I feel like you’re the only person in the world who understands me. Ugh, that sounded so cliché.” You snorted as he slightly shook with laughter. “I love you too Tobio.” You brought your head up for a tender kiss before the two of you settled into a peaceful slumber.

Well, screw that, and screw you. You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

You awoke the following morning with a hollow ache in your chest, your eyes burned but nothing came. You don’t know if it was good that the tears never came, but the hollowness settled heavily in you, it seemed to be all around you, weighing down the air equally. You were on autopilot the whole day, not fully there.

You blinked at the chime from your phone and raised your brows at the time, and your eyes widened at the name in your notifications. You quickly opened the text and looked at the image 2,3,5 times. It was a selfie, only the top part of Yumi’s face was visible, she must’ve been taking it, having to have it out enough to get Kageyama and all of his family in the frame, everyone smiling brightly. The typing bubble popped up for a few seconds before it disappeared and was replaced by a small message. You read it over and over before biting your lower lip. This is when the tears would normally come, when they’d be expected and yet they didn't. The burn was there, the lump in your throat but nothing else except the hollow pulsed in your chest. You didn’t think that was a good sign.

From Tobio:

We miss you! The kids keep asking when you’re going to come to play again. We love you, and you’re always welcome to visit. -Miwa~

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me if you ever cared to ask

You decided not to tell Shoyo about the picture, after all, it was his sister who sent it. He sent an apology the next day and you quickly dismissed it, asking him to tell her thanks and to tell everyone hello for you and that you hoped they had a great trip.

He unblocked you later that day. You assumed it was because of your text, he probably thought everything was fine now, that little bump in the road passed and things were back to normal again. And you tried, you tried so hard to go back to the person you were before. Fake it ‘till you make it was something you lived by, and you certainly were doing a great job faking it, but the ache in your chest told you that you hadn’t made it yet.

Good for you, You're doin' great out there without me, baby

You always kept up with the volleyball news and media, now for just Shoyo, but it was impossible to not see Adlers updates, and as MSBY’s rival you felt you needed to keep up. They were a force to be reckoned with, win after win; tournament after tournament they were at the top, MSBY one of the few to keep up. You sent him a congratulatory text after his last win, if he didn’t want to leave your friendship then you’ll try your hardest not to either, even if it hurts.

God, I wish that I could do that

Well, that lasted about 2 weeks. It’d been about 2 months since Kageyama broke up with you. You texted occasionally, most of them short conversations. They used to be longer, but you knew that to really get over him, you couldn’t be his best friend like before, you had to distance yourself. Shoyo wanted you to block him, even if just for a few more months, so you can move on quicker, but you disagreed. Your lives were so intertwined it wasn’t possible to not see him or hear about him at least once a week, usually in the form of sports journalism.

You laughed at Tsukishima’s joke, choking on the margarita you were in the middle of drinking, causing the others to laugh at you. Everyone was miraculously in town this week and demanded that you all hang out all week. Yachi stayed at Hinata's apartment since he had a roommate, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi stayed at yours, though everyone decided to congregate at your apartment, the former two falling asleep on your couch and after the third night in a row, you convinced them to just stay. Hinata packed a bag and slept on your futon, Yachi slept in your bed with you, and the last two shared your guest bedroom.

While they all swore it was a mere coincidence everyone was in town, you had a strong theory that Hinata invited everyone down to stay with you, since in 3 days was what would’ve been your 7 year anniversary with Kageyama. They did their best to keep you distracted, going out to clubs, having movie marathons and game nights that lasted until dawn. You were filled with immense gratitude for that, and you made sure to let them know it. You were glad your little group was able to stick together, even if the shadow of the empty seat at the table grows with each passing day.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

You almost made it. Everyone stayed in today, keeping a careful eye on you all morning, until you got a call from your mother. Your parents lived in the countryside, they didn’t have great reception out there, even if they did they’d keep the single landline they have now. They called every so often, for holidays or updates on health and family members. The last time you talked to them was about 6 months ago. You head into your bedroom before you answer, a little worried about what might be going on, you knew your father’s health was declining, could something have happened? You took a deep breath and accepted the call, bringing your phone to your ear. “Hello? Mom?”

It takes a second before she replies, probably trying to get your father to stand next to her. “(Y/N) sweetie, sorry it’s been so long, it’s been busy down here and since your father can’t do a whole lot anymore, it’s been taking longer to keep the farm in shape.” You can hear your father grumble something in the background and you can imagine your mother rolling her eyes.

“Nevermind that! We were calling to congratulate you and Tobio on your anniversary, that’s today right? 7 years, I hope you know how lucky you are dear, these days relationships just aren’t lasting like they used to, but I’ve always known you two would stick through, I still do. Hopefully one of these days I’ll get a call about a ring? Or maybe some grandbabies?” She giggled on the other end, going on to talk about her and your father’s relationship, not paying attention to if you’ve replied or not, and you haven’t, you’re- you’re- you jolt out of whatever trance you were in to find yourself on your bathroom floor, back against the tub, your mother still chattering away in your ear, though you can’t hear her.

She’s right. Today is- would’ve, been 7 years. A flurry of emotions roars to life in your chest and you feel the familiar burning and grip start to take hold. You clear your throat, interrupting her story.

“Uh mom, me and Tobio aren’t together anymore. I’m sorry, I meant to call earlier, but there’s a lot going on. I actually have to go, I promise I’ll call later okay? I might be able to get away from work in a few weeks to visit. Love you.”

You ended the call, guilt joining the mix, you had completely forgotten to tell your mother, her words stirring the pot of emotions and memories in your gut as they rose into your chest, filling your lungs, spilling into your throat into your nasal cavity, behind your eyes and into your skull. You slackened your hold on your phone, and it tumbled onto the tile. You choked against the burning in your throat, pressing your palms into your eyes, trying- uselessly- to stop the slideshow of memories.

He had been your best friend, your longest crush, your first- well, everything. You truly thought you would be spending the rest of your life with him, travelling the world as he plays volleyball, eventually settling down and buying a house somewhere, anywhere. Marriage, a cat, maybe a dog, and kids. You never once thought the father of your future children would be anyone but Kageyama Tobio. Apparently, he thought differently. Against your will, the night he ended everything played back in your vision.

You heard the door close as you finished up dinner, a smile stretching wide on your face as you imagined his reaction. You spent the week learning how to make this dish, an old family recipe from his grandmother that he apparently adored and ate every time he visited home without fail. After years of watching her make it, you’d think you would have a good idea of how but you were naïve to think so. You finish plating the dishes and setting up the table, brows pinched in confusion, he hadn’t come to greet you yet, which he always does. You shrug it off, he might’ve had a tiring practice, hopefully the food makes up for it.

You pad down the hallway, thinking he jumped straight in the shower. You stop in the doorway of your shared bedroom; He was sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands as his elbows dig into his knees. Worry and confusion rose; what was wrong? Was practice that bad? You don’t try to mask your steps towards him, though he flinches all the same when you lay a hand on his shoulder, quickly withdrawing it. You sink to your knees in front of him, gingerly holding his wrists as you speak softly.

“Hey babe, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad practice? Why don’t you tell me about it over dinner, I got everything at the table.” He sighed deeply, sagging further, like the weight of the world weighed down on him. Your concern grew and you squeezed his wrists in a silent question. He took a deep breath and sat up, you let your hands fall away but he caught them, cradling them in his grasp, pity and guilt swirling in his glassy gaze as it met yours.

You sat up on your knees, why in the world would he look at you like that? “Tobio? What’s wrong, baby you have to tell me so I can help, you gotta let me in.” You were pleading at this point. He so rarely showed this much sadness, you were sick with worry, mind going to the worst-case scenario. He squeezes your hands, bringing them up to his lips. He keeps them there for a moment, his eyes shut, brow drawn tight.

He brings them back down to his lap and lets out another sigh, meeting your gaze again. You can see the conflict on his features bright as day. “(Y/N), I’ve been so lucky to have you in my life, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pay back what you’ve given me. I’m truly, truly grateful and you've been one of my longest friends, one of my best friends. Which is why- why-“

He lets out a shuddering breath gaze dropping, tightening his grip around your hands. Your brow is pinched deeply, eyes searching his features for any sign of what could be going on. He takes a breath, trying to calm himself before continuing, and when he meets your gaze you no longer see the guilt, you see a wall you worked so hard to bring down. You open your mouth to speak, but he cuts you off. “You are one of the most important people in my life, which is why I have to do this. I can’t keep doing this, prolonging the inevitable only makes it more painful and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But, (Y/N) I can't keep this up any longer, I thought- I thought it might pass, if I kept going along, pretending like everything is fine, when it’s not.” Your heart drops, no, it can’t be, what does he mean?.

“Everything is fine Tobio, what are you talking about? What are you saying, I-I don’t understand.” The emotion thickens your voice and his face falls as he sees the tears gather in your eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I loved you so, so much. I promise, I loved you more than anything, so much it hurt.” The tears are escaping both your eyes. You want to get out of his grasp but his hands only tighten around yours, like a lifeline. You suppress a sob bubbling up to speak, the world tumbling softly from your quivering lips. “Did?”

A hand touching your shoulder tears you from the memory. You’re aware of the hot tears streaming down your face, of the tight sobs wracking your frame, ripping from your throat against your will. You feel hollow, the ache grows and pulses until it’s all you feel, grief rising to meet it. You blink the tears away, to look around the room, you hadn’t recognized it right away, still disoriented from the memory. You see your friends, concern and in some cases, anger, in their gaze as they hover. You were surprised to find Tsukishima was the one at your side, the one who had pulled you from the memory turned nightmare. Your lip wobbles and he pulls you into his arms, embracing you as you cry into his sweatshirt, much like you had to Hinata weeks ago.

You’re vaguely aware of hushed voices around you, the rumble of Tsukishima’s voice oddly soothes you. You can hear Shoyo behind you, you think you hear him say your mother’s name, was she calling again? The thought slips from your mind as quickly as it came. You sat in your bathroom for who knows how long, crying in Tsukishima’s arms, surrounded by your friends.

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it but I guess good for you

Later that night, when everyone has finally passed out, you slip through your apartment door, pulling your hood up as you head towards the street. You have your phone, keys and pepper spray. You just wanted- no, needed to get out of there, the slight chill in the air rousing you. You take in the surroundings, letting your feet take you wherever they please.

You sigh as you take in the park in front of you. You used to come here a lot, whenever you needed to clear your head. It was a space for you to be truly alone to work out your emotions. Which is exactly what you needed now. You smile faintly as you reminisce, not paying attention as you head to the swings, only to stop in your tracks, still hidden in the shade as you watch on. What the fuck.

The creak of the swings is drowned out by laughter, two people sit on the swings, legs pumping to go higher and higher. Her hair whips in the wind and she closes her eyes, leaning back for a moment. You watch him slow down, eventually stopping and getting up to approach her flying form. Right when she is about to pass him, he moves, grabbing her and the swing, halting them mid-swing. She squeals, which quickly melts into laughter as she lets go of the chains, wrapping her legs around his torso and her arms around his neck. Her smile is a sun in the night, love radiating from the couple as they kiss. You look away and spot an open picnic basket, a bottle of wine poking through on a blanket rumpled from use.

You leave as silently as you came.

Maybe I'm too emotional but your apathy's like a wound in salt

The hollow ache starts to burn as you walk back to your apartment. You didn’t expect him to be as affected tonight as you were but you thought he’d- what did you think he’d feel? Mourning? Grief? Sadness? Why would he? He was the one who broke it off, who ‘fell out of love’ or at least that’s what he said when he broke your heart. And to bring her there?

Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all

You shared that spot with him a year after you moved in together, he knew its significance to you, to your relationship. How long had he been bringing her there? What did he tell her about it? Did he use the words you said to him all those years ago? You wondered if he even remembered what today was. He said he had loved you, but was he truthful? He promised quite a few things during your relationship that were broken when he admitted it, when he confessed ‘what had been eating him up inside.’

Maybe I'm too emotional but your apathy's like a wound in salt

The hollow was slowly filling, bitter, anger, loss, and more flooded the space as you recalled his words that night.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You had never felt more dread than in that moment.

“I loved you so, so much.” You had wished the past tense was a mistake, but you knew it wasn’t.

“I don’t know when it happened, if it was slowly or quickly.” You could tell it was a lie.

“I-I just realized I loved you in a different way than you loved me.” A cute way of saying he no longer loved you.

“I thought that if I just stuck with it, that it might change, that it was just a slump.” Another way to say ‘leading you on because I was too afraid to tell you the truth.’

“I tried, I tried so hard to love you the way you wanted me to.” For how long? How many years did he lead you on, how long did he let you think everything was ok?

“You deserve more than I can offer.” You knew that was true, you did deserve more. You deserved a lot more than this, than an offer.

Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all

You were crying by the time you got to your apartment building, but it was different. You didn’t feel the aching hollow as strongly as before. You felt anger, bitterness about what he said, you had a million things you wanted to say to him, to make him know what he did. But didn’t he already know? He was there, he saw what his words did, he saw the aftermath, at the very least he heard about it. And yet the night after he was pictured entering a popular high-end club. It was on your Twitter feed that morning, effectively pouring salt and lemon into the hole in your heart. You had thought it then, and you’re thinking it now.

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me If you ever cared to ask

The next morning, no one brought up last night, and you were thankful for it. You think they could sense the shift, from the aching despair to the brittle anger. So you all lounged on the couch, playing Mario Kart to help you channel it.

You were on the fourth stage of Grief according to Yamaguchi, who brought it up the following day over breakfast. He explained: Denial- which was during the breakup and right after, Depression- which came to fruition after you ran into them at the store, Bargaining- When you tried to go back to how it was before, trying to keep the friendship alive so you’d still have him around, Anger- which was now, when you realize that you wasted years of your life for someone who didn’t even love you and now they want to go back to friends, after they immediately get into a new relationship. The next step would be the final- Acceptance, when you would finally accept he was gone, when you could finally move on.

Good for you

After that night the change became more obvious. You weren’t hiding anymore, you would hold your head high and snap others off if they trod down the wrong path. You felt the hot anger slowly cool over time, as you continued to go out, to clubs, bars, parties Shoyo always invites you to but you always decline. You met his teammates, finally after too long.

He had dinner for you and the team at his apartment that he shares with one of the said teammates. You dressed up a little, enough for Shoyo to whistle when you showed him over facetime as you finished getting ready. You weren’t planning on going anywhere except your apartment after; there was just something about knowing you look good that does wonders to the confidence. You grin widely as he complains about not wanting to deal with his teammates crushing on you. You end the call when you get into your car, you were going to stop by the store to get something and then head over, despite his assurances no one else was bringing anything.

You purse your lips in thought as you surveyed the wine selection in front of you, bending slightly to read the label of one on a lower shelf. You didn’t realize you were taking up the aisle until someone cleared their throat behind you. You paid the little mind, murmuring an apology as you stepped to the side. You felt their presence next to you, and after a minute of them burning a hole through you with their gaze you turned towards them, lips pursed in annoyance rather than thought.

You're doin' great out there without me, baby, like a damn sociopath

The wide eyes of Kageyama Tobio meet yours as you study him for a moment before smiling. “Kageyama! Sorry, I didn’t realize I was taking up the whole aisle, you know me; always so indecisive.”

Your joke seems to snap him out of whatever train of thought he was in. He smiles and chuckles, turning to look at the wine in front of you. “What kind of an occasion is it?” He asks after a beat. “Oh Shoyo is introducing me to his teammates today, wine’s something people bring to dinners right?”

He smiles and nods before pointing out several bottles. “These would be appropriate, and Shoyo likes this brand.'' He plucks one from the shelf before presenting it to you. You smile and thank him, before parroting his question back to him. He turns back to the wine. “Uh, Yumi got a promotion and I’m surprising her with dinner with her coworkers.” You hum in thought before grabbing a wine off the shelf for him. “I think this would be a good one. It's white, so the stain won't be as bad and won’t stain her lips like a red would. It’s a dessert wine so even her younger colleagues should enjoy it. Oh, and tell her congrats for me.” He smiles and thanks you before you part.

You arrive right on time at Shoyo’s, the wine was well received and his teammates were great. They were everything he told you and more, you all got along great, especially you and Atsumu, he was Shoyos roommate and it was great to have another person to make fun of his horrible habits with, much to Shoyo’s dismay.

The dinner flies by, and eventually, you’re the last to leave. You wave to Atsumu before hugging Shoyo. “Thank’s Sho, for everything you’ve done for me these past 6 months. I love you.” He squeezes you tight, kissing the crown of your head before pulling away.“You don’t need to thank me (Y/N), I know you’d do the same. I love you too, drive safe.” You wave as you leave back to your apartment.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night. Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

The next 6 months fly by, and you spend more and more time with Shoyo and his team. Bokuto dubs you an honorary Jackal and you celebrate drinking until dawn, as a true Jackal would. You spend time with them individually, the gym with Bokuto, reality TV with Sakusa, movie nights with Shoyo, and all of the above with Atsumu, in addition to annoying his brother Osamu at his restaurant.

It hits you out of the blue. You had felt a little off all day, but you had chalked it up to the takeout you had last night. You glance at the calendar as you walk past, only to backtrack and look again, with wide eyes. Today marked a year since the breakup. It had taken you a long time to move on, but you were finally starting to feel yourself again, so why did your heart ache all of a sudden? Why did the burning rise in your throat, prickling the back of your eyes as you began to breathe faster, feeling the despair rise out of the depths to rip a sob from you lips? You try to stop, taking deep breaths, count five things in the room, but none of it works. It’s not as bad as the other times, but you feel shame crawling up to join, you were finally turning things around, how could you let it all go to waste?

You curl into yourself on the couch, blindly calling Shoyo to ask for his company, maybe he’d know, he helped you get this far, maybe he can make sure you don’t fall too far. You listen to the rings until you hear the click of an answered call, not even letting him speak before crying into the phone, asking him to be with you, help you understand. Half your words are unintelligible as you ramble on, not really listening to the other end until you think you hear him say he’s on his way, but he sounded odd, different. Had you interrupted him? Was he too busy? No, he would’ve told you and sent someone else, probably Yachi since she was the closest.

You quickly tire of trying to hold everything back, and let it wash over you, all the feelings from this past year rise up, poised to drown you, and you allow it, letting it crash down and wash over you. You let the sobs free themselves, somehow knowing it was the right thing. You give yourself to the despair, the anger, the loneliness.

You don’t hear the knocking at the door, or the sound of the door opening, too absorbed untangling the knot of emotions in your heart; until you feel the cushion next to you you sink with the weight of another person, and a hand gently rubs your back soothingly.

You lean into him, letting him pull you to him like many times before. He pulls you into his lap, curling an arm around your waist while the other hand cradles the back of your head, letting you sob into his shirt. You take a deep breath, letting his familiar scent calm you- wait.

You freeze and your stomach drops. It’s not Shoyo. They're bigger, enough to cradle you against their chest. They’re whispering soothing words into your hair, and you hear a familiar accent, leaning back quickly enough to send a wave of dizziness through you and you sway for a moment.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” Atsumu asks, moving his hands to your hip and back to steady you. Your wide eyes meet his and he tilts his head slightly in confusion. “(Y/N), hey sweetheart, you okay? Gave me quite the scare there earlier ya know?” You continue to stare at him until he waves a hand in front of your face, breaking whatever spell you were under.

You blink a few times, shaking your head slightly as the corner of his mouth quirked up. You look back at him, brows furrowed, cringing when you hear your voice, hoarse after however long of crying. “’Tsumu? What’re you doing here? Where’s Sho?” He raises an eyebrow at your question, lifting his hand to wipe a tear from your cheek.

“Whaddya mean? You called me cryin’ an’ askin’ me to come here to keep ya company. Speakin’ of, what in the world is wrong? What’s got you so sad sweetcheeks?” Your face heats at the nickname.

“Oh, ‘m sorry, I meant to call Sho, he knows; it’s- today is-” He embraces you as a fresh wave of tears springs from your eyes. You can hear the rumble of his chest as he speaks, breath fanning your ear. “It’s all ok, ya don’t haveta cry, I can call chibi if you want him instead of me, it's no prob-“ You shake your head, cutting him off.

“No, s’kay. Thanks for being here ‘Tsumu, sorry I pretty much threw myself into your lap when you sat down.” You rub an eye, feeling awfully close to a toddler. He chuckles and combs your hair back, tilting your chin up so you’re looking him in the eye. “No needta thank me doll, and I won’t object to a pretty thing like you throwing themselves into my lap, though I’d enjoy it more if you weren’t crying. Now, d’ya wanna tell me what made you cry a river in here. Or at least what I can do to help.”

You curl inward slightly, not sure how to explain your wants at this moment, the emotions tangling in your chest too raw to name. You use actions to express your needs as words continue to fail you. You shift in his lap, straddling him instead of the awkward side hug you were doing before. You break eye contact, looking anywhere but him, feeling awkward and exposed. He snorts softly and his hands run up your knees, palm flat against your thighs, up and over your hips to splay against your back, bringing you back to his chest. Your pals lay flat against his sides, sliding along his ribcage and then south, fisting the fabric against his lower back as you rested your cheek on his shoulder. You waited and waited but the tears didn’t come, you could feel the tear tracts cool on your cheeks, trying to put your feelings into words.

A shudder than through his body as he felt you sigh into his neck, arms wrapping tighter around you, pulling you closer, until you were flush against him. The minutes passed by as the two of you stayed wrapped around each other, you breathing the only sound in the apartment. You sighed again, pulling away from him slightly to lean back to look at him. He searched your face, taking in the emotions clouding your eyes, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips soothingly. You gave him a weary smile and took a deep breath, looking down at your hands as you spoke.

“I don’t know if Sho told you about this, but about 6 months before I met you guys I got out of a pretty serious relationship, I mean it was my first relationship and the breakup hit me really hard. The day of the dinner was one of the first times I had truly felt myself again.

“We got together in our first year of high school. We had been friends years before that. God, I had a crush on him for so long, I can’t remember anyone before that.” Your voice is whispy, reminiscing on a better time. “I wasn't a manager that first year, though I was around often enough that I helped where I could. I was at almost every practice, which is how I got acquainted with the other first years. He was still guarded and grumpy then, so I was friends with everyone first, and we all slowly warmed up to each other.

“When he asked me out at the end of the year, after saying goodbye to the third years, it just- it felt so right, like this is supposed to happen. I was a manager our last two years and by graduation the six of us were close. We managed to stay in touch and visit each other whenever possible. Sho had gone to travel, Kei to Sendai for school, Hitoka and Tadashi stayed for school before she went to Tokyo and he stayed in Miyagi. Tobio was picked up by the national team immediately after graduation, to play in Rio. I was accepted into a university in Osaka, and he moved in with me when he got back.” You ignored the way Atsumu’s hands tightened their grip when you said his name.

“It was perfect, we- we were doing fine, or at least I thought we were.” Your voice cracked and you took a shuddering breath before continuing. “He traveled between Tokyo and Osaka a lot and of course for games but it never bothered me, I knew what I was getting into. Eventually, Sho came back, and joined your team, moving into an apartment not far from ours. I was so happy.” You whispered the last sentence, afraid if you said it too loud it’d sound like a lie.

“I hadn’t noticed any changes, he didn’t seem withdrawn or unaffectionate, he was like he always was, until he wasn’t. He came home one night and said he didn’t love me like that anymore, that he couldn’t love me the way I loved him. He- he said he tried to, he said he tried for a long time, in case it was a slump but it wasn’t. And all-all I could think about was the way he said it, like he had been thinking about this for a long time, he looked so tired like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders as he told me the last who knows how long was a lie.

“He left and stayed at a teammate's house until he could get an apartment. He moved close by, I still don’t know why he didn’t move to Tokyo. Sho came and stayed with me for a few days, until I kicked him out so he could focus on the tournament that was coming up. He kept in touch with Tobio, and would update me when I asked.

“That was a year ago, and I know I should be over him, and I am, or I thought I was until I realized what today was and- and everything, all the emotions I had pushed down came back up, no longer letting me ignore them. All the grief and anger and insecurity kept rising and rising until I thought I was gonna drown. Which is when I called Sho, or at least I thought I did.” The corner of your mouth twitched into a small smile as you met his gaze.

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it

“I- I think it would’ve been easier if he hurt too, if I saw that it affected him even half as much, because that would mean he had felt something, he had loved me at one point. And I don’t know, maybe he came to terms with it before he ended it, but seeing him with someone else, not even 3 weeks later just rubbed salt too deep into the wound that just seeing them happy together sent me into tears. When I ran into them days after I found out, when I saw with my own eyes how good he was, how happy he was without me; I don’t know how long I cried, but it was suffocating, it had such a tight grip on me I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t even realize Sho was there until he was hugging me.” You watched your tears fall onto your hands, leaving droplets on his pants. You took in a shuddering breath, suddenly meeting his gaze.

“I just- I don’t know what wrong with me, why can’t I let myself be happy?” Your voice cracked, and you brought a hand to your face, embarrassment simmering low in your gut. Atsumu gently pried your hand away from your face, replacing it with his own as he cupped your cheek. He wiped the tears that fell from your lashes with his thumb. He brought you forward to kiss the crown of your head before returning his gaze to you.

“Doll, look at me. There is nothing wrong with you, ya hear? Your heart was broken, it ain’t gonna fix itself in a day. You will be happy, I promise. Whenever we lose someone we love, a piece of us goes with them. He was sucha huge part of your life, I’d be more worried if you weren’t sad. I can’t say when, but one day you’ll notice it hurts less and less until you barely notice it. Until then you have me and everyone else to help you, so don’t hesitate to lean on us when you need to, got it?”

Your bottom lip wobbled and your eyes were glassy with tears yet again, though this time for a different reason. You threw your arms around his neck and crushed him into you as you cried his name. “I didn’t know you were such a softie! I bet no ones gonna believe me when I tell ‘em.” He wrapped his arms around you again, you were so close you could feel his laughter in his chest. “Yeah, and I didn’t know ya were such a cry baby.” You snorted and pulled away, “That’s on you, I am a well-known cry baby.”

You matched his grin, feeling lighter. You pulled yourself off his lap, but he didn’t let you get very far, pulling you into his side, your legs thrown over his thighs as you turned on the TV. You ended up falling asleep on your couch together, your neck cramped and you found out you drool, but it was worth it.

But I guess good for you

The next few months went by relatively quickly. There were a few hiccups, mostly on holidays, but you listened to what Atsumu had told you and you leaned on your friends during those times. Speaking of Atsumu, while you two were close before, after that night you felt even closer. You found yourself at the apartment he shared with Shoyo more and more. You came to every MSBY game you could, usually helping Osamu run his booth.

When you weren’t with him, Atsumu would often find you helping his brother run orders at the restaurant; under the guise of an apology for annoying him so often, but both twins saw how happy you were when you were working. Eventually, Osamu just gave you a position there, because he didn’t want to get caught exploiting free labor, not because he liked you or anything, you were just as annoying as his brother- or so he says.

The blonde hadn’t noticed just how much time the two of you spent together until you went to visit Yachi in Tokyo for a week, and had odd chunks of time with nothing to do. It was confusing, and frankly off-putting how different it was when you weren’t around. Everyone noticed of course, and teased him for it, more the team than Osamu, because he couldn’t deny he missed you too.

Despite your protests that it was just a 2-hour train ride from Tokyo, and maybe another 10-minute ride to the stop near your apartment, Atsumu insisted on picking you up from the station during your call earlier. “ ‘M not taking no for an answer doll, I’m picking ya up.” You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness and sighed. “Fine, but I’m venoming you for the gas, no ifs ands or buts about it.” You smiled at the sound of his groan from the other line, good thing you were just as stubborn.

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

You were idly scrolling through your Instagram feed, about 10 minutes away from Osaka when you saw a glimpse of a ring, you scrolled back up and read the caption. ‘I’m the luckiest man in the world’ followed by a picture of what must’ve been Yumi’s hand, and adorned on her left ring finger was a large, and no doubt expensive, engagement ring. 6 months ago it would’ve summoned tears, but now you smile faintly, commenting your congratulations before scrolling past. Atsumu was right, eventually, it started to hurt less and less and now it was barely there.

You stood up when the announcement of your arrival in Osaka rang overhead, tucking your phone away and grabbing your bags to exit the train car. You immediately spotted your chauffeur, thanks mostly to the gaggle of young girls surrounding him as he laughed and signed autographs. You walked slowly, trying to buy time until they left but (un?)fortunately he spotted you. A wide grin stretched his features and you couldn’t help but reciprocate, lifting your hand in a small wave. He turned back to the girls and said something before breaking through, jogging towards you as you met him halfway.

You had an amused look on your face from his theatrics and the wide gazes of the girls he left behind. “Hey.” He said when he stopped in front of you. You snorted, “Hey.” He pouted at your tease, which only made it more funny, before rolling his eyes and taking some of your bags, giving you a pointed look when you tried to object. You huffed and walked next to him towards the exit.

You startled slightly when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you by your hip into his side. You looked up at him but he kept his gaze ahead, though you could see the slight flush to his cheeks and the slight twitch of a grin. You reciprocated, hooking your thumb through the belt loop by his hip as you kept your gaze ahead, his stare bringing a slight heat to your face.

He laughed lightly and you two continued out to his car where he tried to make you sit in the back seat because “ it’s not professional for a chauffeur to let their passenger sit up front.” You laughed before letting your face fall into a mock-serious stare and said “no.” in the best deadpan tone you could conjure up before climbing in.

You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him when he didn’t start the car. His hands were on the steering wheel and he was looking ahead in thought. “Atsumu?” He looked at you, smiling softly, still not saying anything. “Uhh you okay? Do I really need to sit in the back for you to be able to drive because-“ He laughed, waving your concerns off. “No, no, I’ll allow it this once. Sorry for spacin’ out, I’m happy yer home.” You looked at him incredulously, “ I was 2 hours away ‘tsumu.” You see a faint flush creep up his neck and he clears his throat, turning back to the wheel and turning on the car. ‘I know, I just missed ya ‘s all.”

You were just able to make out his dejected mumble, quietly huffing in amusement as you glanced down briefly before turning to look forward, biting back the smile at his flinch when you grabbed his hand, bringing it to your lap as you intertwined your fingers. “I missed you too, ya big softie.” Smiling, he squeezes your palm before focusing on the road, and you feel something stir, a bud sprouting from the once hollow place in your chest. It hasn’t bloomed yet, but you have a feeling it will soon.

#my writing #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyu #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x y/n #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x you #atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x you #haikyuu atsumu

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koko-bopp · 4 years

Text

Exposé

min yoongi x jeon jungkook x male!reader

word count – 4K

genre – Angst, fluff

warning(s) – argument scene, mentions of homophobia and racism,

synopsis – An incident happened where your boyfriends had had an interview on national television, and one of them publicized your relationship with then. You're the manager of Bangtan, so your concern fell on your job, your relationship, and your life, but also what it meant for the jobs, lives and relationship of your boyfriends.

A/N – for @thatcucumberwhore :))

"Are you guys fucking kidding me?"

Jungkook accidently jumped at the tone of your voice, though Yoongi seemed less surprised. You'd come in practically throwing down the door of you and your boyfriends' apartment, and that being said, you weren't surprised that Jungkook jolted at the noise, it was unlike you.

"Hyung, er–" Jungkook tried his best to speak up, but was cut off quite quickly.

"I'll get to you later," You snapped, and your attention was fixed on Yoongi. He stayed silent, which is a habit that seems to occur whenever he was nervous, but you were fuming, barely thinking about what your boyfriends' might be thinking. "What the fuck, Yoongi. What the actual fuck, you can't just announce shit without–"

"I did," Yoongi argued, standing up from the couch, looking up at you in anger, "And frankly, so did Jungkook, and you knew damn fucking well it was gonna happen anyway."

"You didn't fucking consult me, Yoongi," You grinded your teeth down, doing your best not to react irrationally, "You can't just make decisions because you feel like it, that fucking stunt could've cost us our job!"

Yoongi had no trouble talking back, "Well, it didn't."

Jungkook went in the middle of you two, clearly anxious and panicking, not knowing how to properly resolve the argument. "Guys, please can we just–"

"No," You snapped, slapping away Jungkook's hand before glaring at him. Honestly, you were so insulted by Yoongi's recklessness, and especially because you're the manager of Bangtan, you had no idea what this meant for your career, but not only yours, Yoongi's and Jungkook's too, "You do understand that our boyfriend just outed us on live television, right? South Korean. Television. Where marital relationships like ours aren't recognised by law."

Yoongi grapped your wrist, forcing you to look at him, "How long were you expecting us to keep this a secret?"

"As long as it kept us safe," You spat.

"Even if it was taking a toll on our mental health?" Yoongi said, almost too calmly, "Not everyone can keep themselves sane enough when it comes to this shit, [Y/N]."

You frowned and just stared at Yoongi.

"Mind you, your job is to look after us as well," Yoongi added.

"That requires you to fucking talk to me, Suga," The anger became evident, especially for Jungkook, because you only call Yoongi by his stage name in a professional setting, never outside of it, "Not snake around and leave things up to you."

You ripped Yoongi's grip on your wrist, taking one last glance at Jungkook before getting your jacket from the hanger.

Clearly, staying in the apartment wouldn't do your anger any good, leaving before the water begins to tip was probably the best option. You didn't look at your boyfriends', just spoke, "I'm staying at Jin's. Don't call me."

✨

"You might as well change your Facebook status to 'complicated', and start feeding my cat, bro," Jin said from the kitchen, "You've been living on my couch for four days. Four days. I don't see why you can't just talk to them."

"I don't know..." You huffed, "Bro I deleted all my social media, and I haven't even opened the television for the last few days...I've yet to cop it from PD, though. God knows what he's thinking."

"Yeah, and no offence, you and your whole, 'Im gonna pretend I'm not bothered by acting so overly professional in the workplace with my boyfriends' isn't proof that you're unbothered. It's proof that this is effecting you," Jin walked into the living room, who beers in hand as he did. He tried handing you one, though you rejected the offer, wanting to remain sober while you're still upset.

Your bestfriend, after your boyfriends, is the eldest member of Bangtan. Partly because you two are the same age, you being just a bit older than Jin, but despite that, you two understood each other well. Also, another reason that your relationship with him is so good is because it's the best entertainment to be around Kim Seokjin, the sarcasm is inevitable.

"Look, I get what Yoongs was thinking, but I also get they you may not have been ready, but I also think you just shouldn't give a shit about what people have to say about you," Jin placed his input, sitting down on the couch near you, throwing a leg over the other, taking a swift sip of the beer. "And that's coming from singer that racists and homophobes hate, those fucks on twitter are the worst."

You laughed at his reasoning, your eyes fixed on the loose string on the knee of your jeans. They're ripped jeans, they're supposed to be there, but it bothered you. "I'm still mad that they didn't ask me about it first.."

"No, that's fair. You feel lied to, I get that," Jin responded, "But, people make mistakes."

You scoffed, "Not like this, I don't put people's lives on the line," You shook your head, running your thumb on the bottom of your lip for a second, "This is Seoul, it's super hard to get a job, it's worse if you're not straight, even worse if you're not pale."

"Yeah," Jin agreed, "But in your case. What radical fan is gonna let Jungkook and Yoongi leave– no– get kicked out of BTS? You know how fucking mad people would be? ARMY would literally boycott BigHit. But let's say it's you who needs to leave, those two would quit their jobs in a fucking heartbeat, people would still be mad at BigHit, and more accepting companies would do anything to have those two in their company."

You smirked in amusement. It sounded true, those two are the biases of a lot of fans, people would pissed.

"And to add onto that," Jin continued, "Bangtan would be mad. You think any of us would put our jobs over our bestfriends' happiness? No fucking way. We're wanted eveywhere, it would take an email and two phone calls to get us a job somewhere else."

You smiled at that, but you remained silent, it was always nice talking to Jin. He was always honest. You lifted your head up to look at your best friend, a little hesitant to give a response, "Do you... Do you think I should..."

"You still got it?"

"Both of them. Always."

"Yeah. They still love you, I wasn't gonna tell you, but I'm pretty sure Yoongi was crying about it."

You stood up from your seat immediately, throwing a pillow at Jin, "You bafoon! You didn't think to fucking tell me?!"

"Ow! I still have a beer!" Jin defended in a protective, half-ninja pose to protect himself from more pillows, stretch his hand to keep his beer alive and unspilt on his leather couch. "Just remember that they need to apologize too, it's not all your fault. Go and see your mans'."

You didn't waste another moment. You throw your jacket over your shoulder and quickly grabbed the keys to your car, slipping on your shoes and racing to get into your car.

The apartment, thankfully, wasn't far, and you know the city of Seoul like the back of your hand so getting there wasn't an issue, it was more about emotionally preparing yourself.

It wasn't as if you thought about what you were gonna say, but hearing that one of your boyfriends who are always so strong broke down crying wasn't a 'think-first-act-later' moment. Jungkook, god, and Jungkook, you'd yet to figure out how he's been handling everything, but you know for Yoongi's sake, he'd try to be staying as strong for him as possible.

You'd gotten three texts from Jungkook in the last four days. One apology, a sticker, and an 'i love you', but your stubborn trait got the best of you. Now having a silent moment, you wish you'd responded.

"Hyung..?"

You didn't know what to say, but you were standing at the door of your apartment with Jungkook in front of you.

You could tell he was hoping for this, he just didn't know when.

He threw his arms around your shoulders, catching you off guard, but as soon as you'd regained your senses, you returned the embrace just as tight as he'd given it. He had his face buried into your shoulder, one hand in your hair trying to remember the feel he thought he'd forgotten, "I thought you were leaving us..." He whispered, holding back a sob.

"Jungkook, I'm so so sorry, I overreacted. I was being a jerk and–" You spewed, but was interrupted when your boyfriend shook his head.

"No, no– I'm sorry too, I thought we were doing the right thing and–" He accidently sniffled, a tear falling down his cheek, "–Ah, fuck... Jagi, I'm just so glad you're back."

You kissed Jungkook's cheek from where he was, bringing your hand up to cradle his head lovingly.

You'd do anything for Jungkook, hes your boyfriend and you love him so much.

You continued to embrace Jungkook, before speaking in a small whisper, "... Kookie, baby... Is Yoongs okay?"

Jungkook pulled away from the embrace slightly, but your hands were still on his waist. The younger wipes the tear stain on his cheek first, "He's had better days... A lot of better days."

"How bad?"

"Remember when Namjoon-hyung and him fought that one time?"

"Oh no."

"Yeah.. But this time it's more heartbreak than anger. I think you'll be fine."

You kissed Jungkook one more time, smiling at hin before hesitantly letting go to head towards Yoongi's room.

You made it three quarters of the way there, then saw the 'go away' mat in front of his door with the cat flipping the finger. It made you chuckle, knowing that then Yoongi had bought it despite the fact that nobody is allowed to walk into the house without socks.

Yoongi does things because something tells him it's the right thing to do. He doesn't act then think, he'll probably think for years and the finally act.

"Jagi..." You knocked gently on your boyfriend's door, "Yoon. It's me... Please open–"

Your request was filled before it was finished, the door swang open to reveal a rather teary Min Yoongi, and your heart didn't handle it well. But you probably didn't notice it well enough, because he threw his arms around your neck almost immediately after. He begun sobbing into your collar with his hands gripping the back of your shirt like you'd run away if he let go. He spoke through tears, "[Y/N], I'm so sorry, I didn't think about how you'd feel and," He sobbed, "But please, p-please don't leave again. I thought–"

"Shhh, baby, breathe for me," You said softly, kissing his forehead as a way to comfort him, before pulling away to look at your boyfriend, holding both of his hands in yours, "Yoongs, it's okay, I'm sorry too, and I know this is something we can work around because I love both of you so so much."

You motioned for Jungkook to come too, watching him walk over then holding his hands too.

It took only a second to exhale, but it seemed too long, "I love you two more than anything in this world. You're more important to me than my job, than my pet–"

Jungkook gasped, "Don't say that! Fluff is a beautiful pet!"

You laughed, and Yoongi didn't stop himself from giggling, but you continued, "Regardless, you two are the best thing that's ever happened to me, that I get to see your faces in the morning is a blessing enough." Jungkook was getting teary and Yoongi was holding back tears as much as he could, but you continued, "You're my heaven on earth. I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with you too."

You for down on one knee, Jungkook's eyes going wide and Yoongi's jaw unhinged to its full capacity. You pulled out the velvet box containing two identical rings, opening it carefully to reveal them.

"Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook. Will you steal my last name?"

436 notes · View notes

barnesandrogersfanfics · 5 years

Text

Baby Love -Part 7

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

A/N - This is kind of a filler Chapter....

"Hey babe?... didnt you hear me?" Chris asked suddenly appearing in my bedroom doorway, i put my phone on the bed as i quickly wiped my eyes and walked over to my bathroom.

"Sorry, must have spaced"

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine"

"So why are you crying?"

"Pregnancy hormones i guess" i mumbled as i splashed my face with water.

"Nothing to do with this shit on Twitter then?" He asked as i was patting my face dry, i looked up to see him standing there holding up my phone that still had the Twitter page up, i shrugged reaching for the phone but he held it out of my reach.

"Nope, no more of this. You dont need to be reading this shit, look at how upset you are!"

"Their right though, you could do so much better!"

"Please dont start saying that, there is no one better for me. You are it for me, your gonna be the mother of my kid" he said pulling me into his arms and holding me tight.

"Maybe we should just delete all social media accounts, i dont want to be seeing these comments either"

"That will just anger your fans even more, don't worry i'll be okay" i reached up and pressed my lips to his, my hands slipping under his tshirt and stroking his back.

"lets go home, we'll turn our phones off and just go to bed... i think we should stay there for the weekend" he smirked wiggling his eyebrows at me making me laugh.

"Thats the best idea you ever had"

"No, the best idea i ever had was suggesting that i be your sperm doner. This has got to be the second best though right?"

"Your such a dork Evans!" I laughed "come on lets go".

The weekend was spent in bed as Chris had suggested, watching movies and catching up on TV shows we wanted to see. Both of our phones switched off and no interruptions, It was the most relaxed id felt in ages.

I was currently laying in bed dozing with Dodger curled up next to me as an old rerun of 'Friends' was playing in the background. Arms wrapping around me me woke me up and i smiled as Chris buried his face against my neck.

"Wake up.... dinner will be ready soon"

"Im awake" i mumbled "sorry i didn't mean to fall asleep. I just feel exhausted, i think you've worn me out Evans"

"I didn't hear you complaining" he teased as his hand slipped under my tshirt and cupped my breast. I hissed and pulled away from him "ow!"

"What?! What did i do?" He sat back in shock looking like id slapped him in the face.

"Nothing baby, it wasn't you... my boobs are really sensitive! Ow... maybe keep your hands off the goods for a little while" i pouted "pregnancy sucks! First the sickness, then the sore boobs...."

"Im looking forward to the part when your super horny all the time" he laughed climbing off the bed and holding a hand out to help me up.

"Haha you would!"

Dinner was a simple pasta dish (nothing fancy with this guy i tell ya!) but it was so good!! Yes i went back for seconds don't judge me im eating for two!

"I sorted out the movers while dinner was cooking, their gonna be at your old place Wednesday that gives us the next two days to get you packed up"

"Is that gonna be enough time?? I have loads of crap you know?"

"It'll be fine, a lot of it you can put in storage"

"I'll probably only really need my clothes, we dont want my crap laying around. We need to have plenty of room for when the baby comes. Besides youve got everything we're gonna need"

"Just remember this is your home too now, you can have whatever you want in here"

"Thank you baby, but i like it as it is"

"I feel like its missing something though, your place was always so cozy..."

"A woman's touch is all it needs"

"It feels better already just having you here".

He was right, it was enough time. I was soon packed up and moved into my new home with Chris and Dodger. We'd been so busy i didn't even have time to think about all the online stuff that was stressing me out before.

The weeks were flying by so quickly! I was now in my second trimester and it was the best id felt since being pregnant. The sickness was gone and i had been experiencing that horny stage Chris had been looking forward to so much.

I was currently sat on the sofa with Dodger looking through a book of baby names, Chris had been out all morning running errands but we were due at the doctors in a few hours for our 18 week scan.... today was the day we'd find out the sex! It was exciting but i was full of nerves!

"Hey babe!" Chris called as he came through the front door, Dodger looked up but didn't leave my side, he'd become very protective of me lately and was always by my side.

"Still no hello Bud?" I heard Chris say and chuckled to myself "you looking after your mama huh?"

"Protective just like his daddy" i smiled finally looking up from the book, my eyes went wide when i looked at Chris....his hair was shorter and his beard trimmed shorter.

"Wow"

"Does it look okay?"

"Fuck yeah!.... you know i love your hair that bit longer but this is working for you Evans" i wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"Glad you approve, i had to have a tidy up Ive got the Premiere on Monday"

"I know, i haven't forgotten"

"And your still okay coming with me?"

"Yeah, cant hide away forever can we" i said looking him up and down, he was wearing blue jeans and tight fitting white t-shirt and i couldn't help but wanna climb him like a damn tree!

"Stop looking at me like that, i know that look and we don't have time!"

"We can be quick!...."

"Nope, come on! Get your sexy ass off that couch and lets go. I promise i will make it up to you when we get home"

"Fine!" I huffed holding my arms out to him to help me up, he shook his head but smiled as he pulled me off the couch, i quickly reached up and kissed him before he could let me go.

"Thats not fair...."

"Sorry i couldn't help myself, lets go then" i laughed walking away from him and grabbing my purse and oversized sweater to hide my small bump i now had “lets go see our baby”.

Baby love tags: @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony

@ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface

@afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12 @letsdisneythings

@sellulii @patzammit @katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict @deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03

@shipatheart

#chris evans x reader #chris evans #steve rogers #babylove #captain america

166 notes · View notes

iiigris · 3 years

Note

AHHH EVIEEEE :( I actually replied yesterday and wrote something pretty long but my phone just died on me and everything got deleted QwQ I feel 💔💔💔

but omg hearing about snow makes me feel so happy, I truly truly hope I can experience it someday too, and ajdjsksksm that sounds so adorable, having fun in it with your dad and siblings :> and snow angels akdjsksk AHHH precious precious. I've seen many Pinterest doodles of people adding features onto their snow angel outlines, it's seriously so adorable -w-

OMG EVE-CHAN, I think I'm definitely gonna be remembering your birthday every year, because my little brother is born on the 11th of may as well. Mine is on the 29th of November lol >.< I guess it would be wintertime where you are during my birthday, but here it's just very rainy and cooling (which is great too, since Malaysia is on the equator and usually v v hot) +_+

I agree!! Everything uncle Rick writes is just BEYOND amazing, and I also rather love the Magnus Chase series (it's just so hilarious). But ahhh yes Nico and Will have the cutest dynamics in the entire series, just seeing a bubbly adorable Will with a darkness shrouded Nico makes me want to cry they're so precious. I love Leo too 😤😤😤💖 he's a cutie, and a dork, and he's so so so smart! Oh and Percy himself, just being so done™ with the gods will never not be funny. Juniper is a unique choice, but I totally understand it!! She seems so delicately beautiful, ahhh I'm melting.

Oh that's so wonderful to hear, it's lucky that your friendship didn't die out, and I'm so happy that the two of you get to meet often :> I did! I called her yesterday and asked her if she'd like to meet up at Starbucks on Thursday, and so we'll be seeing each other then :)))

how was your day Eve?? Mine was okay, I went for work in the morning, and now I'm just joining a club zoom call :D (it's not my club, but my friend is the president of it, and he invited me). It's this virtual fellowship thing to get closer to the club members, and we're all watching anime together via Netflix party 😭😭 I'm sobbing the first episode of AOT is literally killing me, I love it. Do you watch AOT? :>

Sending you all my love, Eve! Thank you for always replying and making me so happy. I love you :]

ARIII OH MY GOSH IM PRETTY SURE ITS BEEN LIKE OVER A WEEK SINCE YOU SENT THIS, IM SO SORRY 😭😭 BUT I’M FINALLY ANSWERING

Snowww oh gosh I hope we get some more soon!! Hopefully it’ll snow over the weekend a bit but I guess we’ll see how accurate the weather forecast is! 😅 I really like winter here but it’s just not the same without some snow :(

OMG REALLY?? I HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS YOUR BROTHER THAT’S SO COOL!! :0 (I only know one other guy with the same birthday as me, I met him on Twitter a few years ago. We dont talk much now though sadly..) I’ll be remembering your and your brother’s birthdays too!! ^^ Aaah that’s nice that it’s cool and rainy on your birthday usually, since it’s hot where you live! I’ve never been down that far south, to the equator, but I imagine it is very, very hot x-x I don’t like hot weather very much lol

AAA yes I really like the Magnus Chase series too!!! It’s been a while since I’ve read it though 🤔 Oh and I really enjoyed the Kane Chronicles books too, they’re really different from the other series but still really entertaining! (I’ve read them twice ^^ Carter is my favorite I think, he’s a very precious smart boi) Oh my gosh yes, Nico and Will are just 🥺🥺 so so precious. And yesss Leo is such a dork omg 😂 But indeed he is a smart little cutie 🥺 Omg Percy tho,, yes. Like every time someone mentions a god he’s just like “😒 Are you kidding me, this dude again. Really.”

Oh good I'm glad you were able to meet up with your friend!! How did it go? I hope you two enjoyed yourselves!! 💕💕 And yeah I'm really glad our friendship didn't die out too. I actually get to see him all three days this weekend so I'm very excited for that!! 😁

My day today was kinda ehh... not as good as it could've been. Just very busy. I’ve had a lot of schoolwork recently and it’s been piling up :/ But thankfully I'm just about finished up before I get a break for the holiday season! 😌 I’m ready for it lol. And plus I have a lot of things to get done for the holidays... mainly gifts for my friends and things like that. Stuff that I haven't had much time to work on bc of school grrr... >:/ How was your day today, Ari-san? ♡ Omg that zoom fellowship thing sounds really fun!! And that’s so cool that you’re all watching anime!! Aah no I haven’t started AOT yet, but I'd really like to, even though I know I'll cry a lot watching it 😂😭 I've been this close to starting it like four times over the past week, but I'm trying to finish haikyuu first lol. I don’t wanna ruin my haikyuu phase yet 😭😂

Sending you lots of love too, Ari!! 💕💕 Aww you’re welcome 🥺💖 Thank you for sending me messages so much, even if I reply to them super late haha 👉👈 It makes me really happy to read your messages. I love you too, I hope you're having a good day!! <3 ^^

- Eve

#eve's asks #answered #Ari 🖋#okay i'm going to bed now #bc it's very late and I have school tmrw 😔#love youuu

1 note · View note

aharris00britney · 5 years

Photo

ASKS 16

haha remember in July when I said I was gonna answer stuff every month... yeah me neither 🙈🙈 anyways lots of stuff under the cut

Anonymous said: You should get along with other Simblrs and start a new cc group now that PTS is disbanded, your hairs and clothes are always amazing! :D

Firstly thank you! Most of the clothing in AxA is 99% ayoshi with me going in after and cleaning/adding some stuff. So I give him props for the clothes :P As far as a ‘new PTS’ style group idk, there are a lot of amazing creators on simblr but I think the reason PTS was such a special thing is because the bond they all had. I feel that when working on collabs with some of my really close friends (such as the one coming out this month with @dogsill and @ayoshi) because we have known each other for over 2 years now. A group of friends built only for collabing purposes would be more of a hassle than an enjoyment imo. <3

Anonymous said: HELLLOOOO! just curious bc why not but what is your favorite creation that you have made??

It varies every month to be honest lmao. If you asked me to pick a favorite hair from each month? Easy, always the last release of the month. But favorite hair ever? Awwww shucks 🤠 lmao I would say my Madison Hair is one of my favorite hair releases, I am planning to revamp it soon to work with my Mia ombre accessories and tidy the mesh up some.

Anonymous said: hello, when will this collection be free for public download please? /post/186706149526/patreon-08-19

That came out in August luv, go to my downloads page and click AxA 2019

Anonymous said: Hi! Idk if you do wcif!!!! But if you do, wcif the freckles on the girl with the short hair on the BOP AHOOB collab?? If you know! Thank you much in advance!!!!!

Hey! You’ll need to send Bowl-Of-Plumbobs a message for that WCIF, that was his Sim otherwise I would link you. Sorry hun

@lumalinrose-sims said: Not a question, but you are like so cool I can't even--

thank you lmao I appreciate it, your profile pic it pretty cool :P

@ang3lba3 said: sarah is so pretty!!! is there a way to download how she looks in its entirety, or no? (sorry if this is a silly question im pretty new to the sims)

not silly don’t worry :P the Sarah hair is for download on the post, the sim can be downloaded here but she is a bit outdated as I have changed her somewhat since then.

Anonymous said: Hihi just stopping by to tell you how much I love your hairs!!

thank you so much! I appreciate the love<3

Anonymous said: hi! i just wanted to say that i love your cc so much i and always look forward to your posts! you make the cutest cc ever and honestly you're probably my favorite cc maker. you also seem like such a chill and genuine person we truly stan.

fgvhbjn thank you lmao I am literally TOO CHILL irl lmao I let people run over me so much but it’s whatever. Thank you again for the super sweet message. Have a great day if you’re reading this :)

Anonymous said: Heeeey we have the same name

Austin club :P great name til you’re trying to sign something and it looks awful (at least for me I can’t do my signature for shit)

Anonymous said: the collab with bop is so boring and dull it’s drier than a cracker it’s a no from me

well not everything is going to be someones cup of tea lmao I’m sure there is someone that enjoys it which counters you’re negative view <3

Anonymous said: Hi I love your cc! I have almost all of it in my game and I love your tropical punch palette so much I was wondering if you would ever consider releasing the palette.

If I ever make an ombre accessory tutorial video I will release a set of actions for the palette. If you wanna use the palette feel free to grab the hex codes from S4S.

Anonymous said: How did you become a ea game changer? Was it through Tumblr or youtube?

About a year ago SimGuruKate was the community manager and had applications for Tumblr Game Changers, I applied and got accepted. Follow SimGuruFrost on Twitter to stay up to date on when new applications are open.

Anonymous said: Are you going to upload the hair you made on your livestream? I literally love your work and am a Patreon subscriber!!!

Hey! The hair will be in my October voting (I think) and if it wins, release will be November. If it doesn’t win I will put it in November voting and so forth til it wins. Also thank you for watching the stream and supporting me on Patreon

Anonymous said: hello!! i just wanted to see if knew is there’s anyway i can save my cc and save files somehow where i can download them again if my computer breaks so i don’t have to download it all again.?

zip your Sims 4 folder and upload it to Google Drive/SimsFileShare/OneDrive. Then when you install Sims 4 again you just replace the folder made in Electronic Arts in your Documents.

Anonymous said: what face do you make when your in love with a bee?

this is an old anon so I doubt they’re gonna check for this, and I can’t find the joke on Google so.... anybody know it?

Anonymous said: i love these collab sets they are honestly gifts from above

mhmm gifts from above for every collab except those in October... those are from below 👹 😳

Anonymous said: the pack is sooooo cute i love everything omg!!!! The male stuff is so adorable i can’t wait to download

Anonymous said: you guys are the only ones i go to for packs i would love to see build buy items in the future we don’t get a lot mm stuff like that

Anonymous said:i just want to say thank you for putting in so much time and hard work and dedication to creating cc for us. i hope there's never a moment when you feel unappreciated, and i want you to know we all love you!

@primadonnaliferiseandfall said: all hail you and ayoshi for the cc pack its so pretty omg!!!!

Anonymous said: omg the kings have delivered!!

Anonymous said: since we got axa 2019 and 2018 will there be an axa 2020? 👀

Anonymous said: Great job on the pack! Everyone's items look gorgeous! Thank you for making this, you talented human being.

Anonymous said: ilysm! that’s all 💓💫

Anonymous said: just wanted to let you know that your content is absolutely amazing and i love it all :) sending love from the uk👍

Anonymous said: would you and ayoshi consider sharing the psds for some of the stuff in your collab? please?

thank you guys so much! Me and Ayoshi were super super happy with the AxA 2019 release and we are so happy with how many people have liked it. AxA 2020 will be a thing, yes. Also I have been working on PSDs that are super easy to navigate. I will get those up soon hopefully.

@graphicpickles said: Hey um, I dont know if you were aware of this but your discord link is broken ^^"

hey! this is super late sorry, discord link should be working now. If not: https://discord.gg/CtQR9tb

Anonymous said: Why would you include a cc hair in a preview for a cas review

because I liked the hair and wanted to use it 😗

@goddesssimmerina said: I just stopped by to tell you how much I LOVE your content. *_* I just went through and downloaded soooo much! xD I actually just switched to using MM hair and i'm so glad I did because I'm finding so many of you amazing creators and I thank you all sm! :*

awe thank you!! I appreciate it. Welcome to MM hair world :P

@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?

AHarris00Britney

Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?

Ultra Settings, and I use SRWE for HQ pics.

Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight

It has been answered. I am no longer straight. Was a hard two months not answering this 😔😔😔

Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.

I edge split everything before I decimate in Blender, I also delete the hairline and extrude the mesh inside the head before decimating as well. Really confusing to explain in words sorry. Might make a tutorial.

Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty

yes ma’am now where is the comeback

- it was at this point I realized I have caught up with my last asks post and have answered 4 things over again from Asks 15. Well... I guess that’s it folks

see yall in asks 17 in 2 months.... maybe the end of October idk

#asks #nonsims #saviorhide #i dont even know why i decided to answer stuff tonight it is 1:32AM now and i started an hour ago #let me go be productive and do something like lay in bed playing Animal Crossing Pocket Camp for 2 hours til I pass out #actually let me post a teaser idgaf its 2am but when else am i gonna post it

49 notes · View notes

kinktae · 4 years

Note

kinktae? i think you meant the sweetest & loveliest person ever 🥺💞💓

Anonymous said: rose deserves all the love and more rt if you agree 🤠

(warning: oodles of precious and dear anons under the cut)

yooniversus said: i faqing luv u (hehe get it) 💕💕💕🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥺💕❤️💫💕💫💜💕💜💕💜💕💕💜💕💜💜💜💜 ok soddy i was just bored

Anonymous said: i dont usually interact with fic writers but ur work is out of this world!!!!! the way you write dialogue makes it seem casual and natural flowing like how you would talk to a friend :)) connecting to the main character has never been a challenge for me, but with your writing its like i am the character instead of just some reader. i hope that you never stop writing as long as it brings you joy, and that this message makes you smile (even just a lil' bit) luv u!!

worldclasscassy said: i am so geeked over ur writing 🥰🥺

Anonymous said: uwu punch me daddy

Anonymous said: ur deada$$ one of the best writers on here, i don’t make the rules sis 🙈

into1995 said: heelo! sending all my love! 🥰 you have such a beautiful soul, please take care! we are here for you always. 💕

dejayoon said: take your time lovey! you deserve a break💜

Anonymous said: imagine waking up every day knowing ur rose...PHEW!! wish i could be that lucky 😪😪

lovesic-eunoia said: hey, sweetie. i know your anxiety has been making you feel like crAP and i'm here to tell you that it really does get better❤️, there's always gonna things that make you wanna quit trying to get better, but don't give up. anxiety doesn't rule your life, you do. i wish you the best through all of the ups and downs. you're a precious piece of life. much love ❤️❤️

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: saw u on my dash and my heart went lub dub

Anonymous said: I hope you take some time to yourself and enjoy hiatus! We love you!

evilkookie said: Your health is way more important than anything!! I wish only good and positive things for you and you feel better, take as long as you need for your Hiatus 💝💝

Anonymous said: I dont know if I'm late but take care of yourself bby! Health always comes first and I hope you'll be enjoying your time outside of tumblr! Will miss you but love you so much bby! -Bunny

miss-peys said: Hope all is well! I myself had to take a step back from school because my mental health was terrible! Hope everything is going okay in your personal life! Can’t wait for you to come back to tumblr, but please come back when YOU feel ready not because others want you to come back! Sending positive vibes your way! Can’t wait for you come back💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: Rose my darling dearest I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and I hope you’re doing well 💜💫☁️

Anonymous said: hi jared ilu xoxoxo

Anonymous said: I love u and I hope ur taking care of yourself and staying hydrated!!

googie-kook said: How are you doing lovely? Miss you loads and hope you’re feeling better! Love from London! 🇬🇧 💓💓💓💓💓

Anonymous said: hi bby! im just coming in to tell you i love you! and you are loved!! and i hope youre taking good care of yourself and doing all those good things to keep yourself happy and healthy!! and im super excited for your spooky fic soon! sending you nothing but the best !!!❤❤❤

Anonymous said: i’m really happy that you’re taking a mental break from social media(tumblr). i had to do that a couple days ago and it really helps. anyways hope you get better and you take time to heal yourself. i love youuuuu🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Anonymous said: Ur meat is huge, keep going.

Anonymous said: how are you being doing rose? hope you're well

hyzzzan said: I'm glad you're still here 🥰💜

Anonymous said: You are so good and such a cute human bean oof (are we still saying ‘oof’?) it’s really frustrating cause I can’t make u feel the intensity with which I mean it. You are so so so so good, your stories just hit different. Like next level shit. Your characters, stories, yo skills I swear if only I was half as good as you are at writing maybe I would be able to make u feel the intensity of my feelings.. I hope writing these masterpieces brings you as much joy as reading them does to me💕💕

Anonymous said: Your stories are soooo good! I am in love with them.

Anonymous said: I MISSED YOU. seeing the "hiatus" taken off your blog just made me so happy. I hope you're good 🖤 happy Halloween 🦇

Anonymous said: I'm rereading all your fics and I keep falling in love with your writing. Thank you for quality content. Also, I hope you're doing good!

Anonymous said: Hi love! I'm so so sooooooo happy you're back! Hope you had a great break and noe you're feeling better. But take your time with writing, exams come first. I still can't wait to read your new stuff tho! (On a side note, we already talked in private but I'm still shy, sorry) ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: Hi omg are you back?? I missed you 🥺

Anonymous said: rose ur writing is insanely good and whenever im having a ton of anxiety i read ur writing to calm me down so tysm for being the best ever

lorengarcia-yut

said: You're BACK! I'm so happy you're back! I really hope you are feeling good and happy. Just wanted to send you a lil welcome back message with a little love

monohoed said: Hey, hope you been feeling better? I love everything you’ve written so far and just wanted to let you know! I’ve struggled w mental health myself and I empathise ♥️♥️

sydney--chan said: I fr think I might die when you post a fic again like no cap ive missed you and your writing so mUCH🥺🥺🥺

Anonymous said: so heyyy idk how to say it buttt ily~~ ★☆~

Anonymous said: hihi rose ilu sm and i hope ur doing well, pls take care of urself bb 🥺🥺💜

Anonymous said: .........you are like so beautiful

Anonymous said: HEY IM WUV U AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!! 💕💕 I love all your work and I hope the best for you!!!

Anonymous said: ummm ma’am??? you are so beautiful and I am so gay??????

Anonymous said: I followed you on twitter and you are pretty, funny, kind, and creative. Biggest friend crush uwu

Anonymous said: Omg you should be a model. You're so gorgeous, I'm jealous. If I ever met you in real life, my self-esteem will go down. But I love you too much girl 💕

mazeyoongi said: i haven't had much time or interest in reading fics lately because i am so busy between work & college, but every time you post a new story i HAVE to read it. no natter how busy i am or what is going on, i always read your new fics. they are ALWAYS so so so amazing and you manage to keep my interest from beginning to end no matter who or what it may be based on. thank you for giving us such wonderful work. you're amazing! 💓

Anonymous said: You're so pretty I- TAKE MY HEART PLIS I MIGHT JUST MAKE A TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR YOU 🥺🥺😩😩 -Bunny

Anonymous said: wtf the twitter video, jeezus you are freaking stunning

Anonymous said: you‘re so pretty lemme suck your dick, it‘s only fair

Anonymous said: low key your facial structure is like perfect?? i'm kinda jealous?? luv u b

charlie-hatsune said: JUST FOLLOWED YOUR TWITTER AND YOU'RE SUPER PRETTY!!!

dazedaurora said: okay but like how tf is everyone around here so pretty?! you're an absolute doll 💖

i-want-to-bite-your-head-off said: I haven't been on here in a WHILE but hi hope you're doing well and ily uwu

sapphireprinces5 said: Hello!! I just wanted you to know I really love all (and I mean ALL) of your stories. I really want to be a better reader for all of you amazing writers who share their art with us. With so many authors leaving, I really want to do my part better! So, you will definitely see more from me when you update!! Excited to see what you have in store for us ❤️

Anonymous said: Omg hi lovely!!! I just wanted to tell u that you are a precious human being and I hope u know that

ktgguk said: uwu I hope you had a lovely day, don’t forget to drink plenty of water 🧸💗 keep being amazing at what you do!!!

Anonymous said: You’re so consistent through your work and everything you write is a phenomenal masterpiece! I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how do you manage to always get such a high word count per chapter. That probably sounds so dumb and I’m sorry if this wastes your time.

Anonymous said: I LOVE U SO MUCH THANK U FOR ALL UR HARD WORK IN UR WRITING AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

justaregularcrazyfangirl said: So, hm... It's not an ask but i just read what you said about my little review and i just wanted to say that you managed to make me blush 😆 (urgh i'm not used to do this and it shows !) Anyways, i'm happy you found my review interesting 💜 I hope you have a nice day ~ "You nice, keep going" ! (And that's my cue to go and hide somewhere !)

Anonymous said: you're an amazing writer!!!

Anonymous said: pls rose u deserve ALL the love in this universe

Anonymous said: Ma’am!! We are your friends!!! That post was SO CUTE!!! Love U!! My heart is full of love and appreciation for your cute self

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: i love your stories for one, always have ever since I found you 🥺 you give me most of my inspiration to write and let my creativity flow but it’s so dang hard actually putting the words I want on the pAGE BENDK

Anonymous said: Do you ever read your own fics and be like "Damnnn I'm good"

Anonymous said: Oh are you sick 😥 Get well soon 💜

Anonymous said: Omg you speak French too?!! Is there anything you can’t do?!?! You’re such a smart girl 😭🤧💕

Anonymous said: I think you’re really cool and I wish I could be your friend. ❤️

Anonymous said: 💜💜💜 Hey love, idk if you've already deleted the app or it'll get barried in the inevitable avalanche of asks you're about to receive but I hope you can feel the love I'm sending your way nonetheless. You're my favorite writer and there's so question, i'll be here when you get back. Take as much time as you need and I'm very proud of you for taking the necessary steps to get better. That alone takes strength. I wish you the best of luck. -🌻

Anonymous said: Life is a pendulum between your fics and your ficsrec

Anonymous said: just wanted to slide in here to say i dont really like smutty stories, but damn yours be hittin different and im obsessed, so thank u for sharing ur work with us 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: hi! i’m a reader of your work and well, I completely understand where you’re coming from. exactly. 100%. so you take your time and love yourself like you know you deserve to. I support you!

bugznot said: whenever you decide to come back we’ll be ready with open arms. remember you are powerful but you can only take so much. breaks are necessary and important and i hope you are kind to yourself in this time

Anonymous said: Leaving this message for when you’ll come back: I hope you finally start to love yourself back, you take chances cause you believe in yourself and your abilities, you leap blindly because you have faith in yourself and you know where you stand. I hope you have learnt to love yourself, to demand more of others and you for yourself, because you are worth it. I hope you come back, rejuvenated and free of all those schemes that bring you down. Love you 💕

Anonymous said: Saw your most recent post and wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon. I understand how tough it is when it feels like you’re living a lie, but not to minimize your experience, I’m sure it’ll pass and you’ll feel more comfortable with yourself. We all love you here and are patiently awaiting your return. If you celebrate it, happy holidays! Hopefully it won’t be stressful for you and you get some time to relax! 💕

Anonymous said: take as much time as you need & don’t feel like you HAVE to write just because there are people waiting for updates. your real life & health always comes first but pls know that we’ll be here for you & only want the best for you. We’ll be patiently waiting for you & understand your struggles (or at least I do 🙃). pls keep your friends around you, stay in good surroundings with positive vibes & take care of yourself (& your dog aw). sending all the love to you!!!

peachishiz said: Hey Rose my love Dw u don’t gotta answer just popping in to say I love u so much and I hope ur doing good and stuff 🌸💕

Anonymous said: hi bby, i just wanted to say that i can’t truly say ik what you’re going through, bc every circumstance is different, but i really relate to you & what you’re going through. i teared up a bit bc i’ve had the similar thoughts & feelings (and i still do) but i think being open & vulnerable about it is the first step (& hardest) so i just wanna day i’m proud of you 🥺 i wish i let you know more how much i love and appreciate your fics, but i hope the time you take for yourself is healing 💜 Luv -⭐️

Anonymous said: Hope no matter where you go or what you'll do, you'll be happy with it. Lots of love and best of luck ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said: dude honestly , taking that step to take care of yourself makes me extremely proud and i dont even know like that. When i first moved to Miami i think i felt similar to how you do , i held a lot of resentment for myself and the life i led and its a sentiment i dont wish on the worst of my enemies. Im sorry you feel that way , but you know you have the strength to pull yourself out of your slump , and that's quite the feat on its own. Good luck and i hope happiness finds you soon. - A.L.Á

Anonymous said: heeeeey, I hope you take lots of care during ur hiatus. Stay hydrated, eat some tasty food, make yourself a priority, reach out for help when you need to, and life is like a minecraft house, sometimes it gets burned down, sometimes it gets attacked but in the end you always have the opportunity to rebuild something new, that makes you happy and satisfied. u rock, u r wonderful and amazing, ily

Anonymous said: Hi! Just wanted to say that your writing is brilliant. It’s okay to be going through a tough time. I’m proud of you for recognizing that you need a break and taking one. The year is almost over: it’s the perfect time for a lifestyle change or a new beginning. Do what you need to do. We’ll still be here. Love you!

Anonymous said: You’re doing great sweetie! Keep going ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: im not sure if you still have the app or not or if you'll ever see this but i love you 💓 & i know idk you but to see you taking steps toward loving yourself is so beautiful ! im still on that journey myself 🤷🏽‍♀️ & it gets hard but you gave me some newfound energy just now. good luck !

Anonymous said: I am so proud of you. You’re so brave for accepting the fact that you are not okay, and doing something to turn that around. Now you’re walking the path towards betterment. I won’t wish for you to not fall back into that hole, but that when you do, I hope you come out faster and stronger every time. You made my life a thousand times better through your works, I hope through this hiatus, you’ll be able to do that for yourself. I am rooting for you ❤️

sydney--chan said: Hi babie🥺 please take all the time you need for yourself. I am proud of you for taking a step back and realizing you needed change. You are very strong and I cant wait for you to come back better than ever:)

Anonymous said: Ah, baby! Just the fact that you opened up and came with this decision shows that deep inside you care for yourself and you are also really brave. YOU ARE inspirational, your friends aren't lying. So many of us can't stop being stagnant and that's ok too. But you, you are doing so much and you are handling this better than you see it yourself. You are mature enough to see that things are wrong and that you deserve to heal. Everything that's wrong is going to pass. (1/?)

Anonymous said: And the cloudy days are going to be gone. I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself as well. Treat yourself like you would treat one of the boys, for ex (I know it sounds silly but... lol). Imagine if they were feeling down and if they made mistakes. Wouldn't you forgive them? Make them see that it is ok? Wouldn't you want to cuddle and take care of them? Treat yourself like that, please. Treat yourself like you deserve to be taken care of, because you do. (2/?)

Anonymous said: Try to date yourself, you know. Take yourself on a date, buy you something nice when you can, try not to tell yourself things you wouldn't tell other person (cuz I know you are the kindest to people). And it is ok if somedays you can't handle things the best way, but you're just human and it is okay. Allow yourself to be imperfect. We are all trying hard in this life and we are all making mistakes. I am proud of you for trying. Keep trying to be better for yourself. You are precious and (3/4)

Anonymous said: I hope everything gets better for you as soon as possible. We are cheering you up, also while you're on hiatus. Come back whenever you feel like it and don't feel pressured to please others. YOU are the one who matters here and you're amazing af. We are going miss this bright star that you are but be patient with yourself and take your time. Please, seek a professional and take care of your health. You are lovely and loved. Everything goes, my love ♥♥♥♥ (4/4)

Anonymous said: I love you so damn much❤️

Anonymous said: I'm proud if you, I get that this was a hard decision to take, and you still did it. So, I'm proud of you. You finally understood that you are the n. priority, so please treat yourself like it. Even if you'll be gone for the whole year, I'm still super happy ti hear this. You deserve this, as you said yourself, you deserve the world. I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing good, but I know that you can make it better. Please, remember that you're not on your own: ask for help if you need it. Ily

lorengarcia-yut said: I just read your post and I just want let you know that we support you! Your health comes first, please take all the time you need. I feel for you, cause in a way I understand. Please take of your self! May God bless your life cause it’s gonna get better. Keep going, don’t ever give up, and please keep pushing. You deserve better than what you’re going through. Bless your heart ❤️

Anonymous said: 🌹 I don’t know if you will see this but I completely understand what you are going through. I have depression and social anxiety, and it’s so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning to go to school in a city where I don’t know anyone. I just want you to know that I will always support you and I hope that this time away will help to clear your mind of some negativity and bring you into a new year with hopefully brighter days 💜✨☀️

minigalixies said: i hope you come back feeling better, love ♡ so proud of you making the decision to put YOU first !! it’s a hard, but VERY important, decision that i hope benefits you sO MUCH !! i look forward to seeing your new posts when you feel better mentally + physically !! ♥️

Anonymous said: I hope this break provides you with everything you need. I hope life in general gets easier for you, you deserve it my love. Your mental health is way more important than providing us with content. Please take care of yourself, we'll be here for you if/when you decide to come back. I love you.

Anonymous said: hello im here to state a fact: your writing is perfect

moonchild-love-letter said: Hi, how are you? I hope you're okay. Actually, I hope you're better than okay, I hope you've been eating well, sleeping well, and spending your days chasing your bliss. Your writing is a piece of art, whenever I finish a chapter I always feel so happy and blessed to have found your blog. I hope that happiness returns to you ten folds. I hope your days are filled with love. Thank you for sharing your work. Thank you.

Anonymous said: BABY ROSE YOURE BACK!!!!! I’m ready to spend my 2020 supporting your 10/10 writing and you on your life journey. GONNA SMOTHER YOU WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: i admire u so much for being confident enough to put ur mental health first. school causes me so much stress and anxiety and makes me slip back into my depression so fast. i look up to u so much. im glad ur doing what makes u happy. 🥺

Anonymous said: HAPPY NEW YEAR BBY 💙💙 YOU WERE LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW BLOGS I FOLLOWED AND YOU GOT ME INT HE FEELS SO MANY TIMES AND YOUR THEMES ARE AMAZING AND YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU YOU SMOL BBY -Bunny

tinievmin said: Okay so you’re my internet older sister now!!! Wow this is so cute 🥺🥺 Take care of your health, eat well, drink water, sleep, and be kind to yourself this year!!! Sending u love!!

Anonymous said: U ARE A BABY 😩😩😩😩😩😩

Anonymous said: WT FFFFFFF ROSE HAPPY NEW YEAR 🌟 u are backkkkk i miss u little bby 🤧💕

Anonymous said: While they say that army’s are toxic, i think I’ve never found so many people sharing one common interest with such an awareness and consciousness about complex concepts like loving yourself. I like to think that BTS deconstructed the cliché of “love yourself” into something more complex and difficult that u would pursue in life bravely, even through struggles, and not just a quote u find on aesthetic pillows. And I think you’re doing just that too with your stories and your journey. thank you💕

Anonymous said: hello! i'm a returning bts writer and so glad to see find you on here still!! i remember reading one of your earliest fics i love you

Anonymous said: You’re so talented!!

Anonymous said: hello miss rose how are you today? I thought id just come over to say hi and i love you so much you beautiful human being. I hope you and your little fur babies are doing well!💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: hey, idk if you'll even see this, but i just wanted to say i'm in love with all of your fics. i don't even have a tumblr account, i just come to your page from google to read your stuff and see if you're doing well😳 i could say more but that robot verification keeps running out, so hope 2020 treats you well and you're an amazing writer!

pocketfullofsuga said: hey I checked who im following and it said you are one of my favorite tumblrs I mean they aint wrong though bby

Anonymous said: JUST WANTED TO SAY ILYILYILY AND I HOPE THAT THE NEW DECADE IS TREATING YOU WELL EVEN THO WE ONLY FOUR DAYS IN. ILY, STAY HEALTHY, LOVE YOURSELF. k bye 🥺🤍🕊🥰

#so #I just really really want to take the moment and apologize for not responding to so many asks #this year #as u can tell by reading this past #had been kind of a whirlwind #and im so so grateful and humbled rereading all these asks #u guys really are my friends #above all #and im so just brimming with love #genuine love and appreciate for you all #thank u #I love u guys #Anonymous

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