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theboysfromaustin · 7 months

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The one where Gav's an urban legend

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February 12, 2013

Kazuo spun in his chair, laptop precariously balanced on his lap. Ian glanced over, "If you drop that again, I'm going to get you one of those cases like they put on toddler tablets." "I'm careful. My balance is impeccable." "You fell down the stairs yesterday," Gav didn't even look up from his computer. "Those stairs are a death trap."

Ian looked at the clock, "Another half hour and we can get lunch." "Sounds good." Kazuo spun in his chair again, before kicking his feet up on his desk. He was busy scrolling through Reddit, flitting from one subreddit to the next. Somehow, he wound up on r/Detroit, and immediately took notice of one thread -

What's the weirdest thing you've seen at night?

Kazuo looked at Gav, remembering every weird street story he'd been told. He started scrolling, the usual nonsense popping up - haunted places, I saw Bigfoot at Burger King, the norm. And then….

Okay, so when I was a teen, me and my shithead friends would go joyriding in abandoned neighborhoods, blasting music and being assholes, throwing beer bottles and smoking pot. It was a Friday or Saturday, maybe 1 AM. We liked to turn off our headlights to make it creepy, and I know, stupid but we were teens. I don't remember what street it was, but the houses were all burned out, when something ran in front of our car. My girlfriend screamed, and I turned the lights on. There was this ginger kid, beaten up and filthy, flinching away. He looked scared and half crazy, and then I swear to God, he took off running, climbed the side of a house like Spider-man and disappeared. We still don't know what the fuck he was.

Oh thank god I'm not the only one who saw that guy. He was fast and nimble. Like a spider. Never said a thing. Saw him in a ton of places, usually after dark while joyriding. Had a wide range and often had a pack of dogs that were NOT friendly. There was a big Saint Bernard type that tore the bumper off my buddy's car. It was held on with duct tape, but it's the principle. Fuckin' Cujo.

I see you met the Detroit Dogman. Tiny ginger dude. I saw him with a pack of dogs around the old Packard plant. He stood there and his dogs chased my friends and I out. He was afraid of us. I wonder what his story is, but I haven't seen him in years now, hope he got off the street.

Little man, long red hair? I saw that dude stealing beef jerky and roller grill crap from a 7-Eleven. I didn't say a word, he looked malnourished. He left and a pack of dogs materialized out of the alley. Weird.

I saw him from a distance, carrying a shovel and a bloody bundle. I followed a bit behind, just in case he was a serial killer, and he buried it in an empty lot. I checked it out after he left and found a huge pet cemetery, markers with names and breeds. It spanned a few blocks. I don't think he's a bad guy, just prefers the company of dogs. Maybe he's a runaway, he looked young.

I saw him hauling a big bag of dog food. He was having trouble, but he started running when he saw me following him. His feet and legs were all cut up. He was FAST though.

man i saw this lil fucker swimming with a lot of dogs in the detroit river in fuckin november and he had a fish in his mouth like a big ol wiggly fish what the fuckkkkk

I saw him multiple times. He was kind of cute in a filthy, matted way. I wanted to ask about his dogs. He made the city interesting. I got close once, and he smelled like dirty Vienna sausages. He noticed and flinched real hard, like he expected me to attack him. Hope he's doing better now, miss seeing him around.

My friends and I were drinking in an abandoned K Mart at night when we heard a weird noise. This weird little dude was on the roof, howling at the moon. I threw a Molson bottle and he jumped off the roof and took off running. What the hell.

Kazuo started giggling like a complete idiot. These were all about Gav. Gav, who was quietly typing at his computer and listening to music. There were more stories. One reply was just a low resolution photo of Gav and his pack squaring off with raccoons in a Big Boy parking lot. Ian turned slightly, "What are you chuckling about, you degenerate?" Kazuo wheeled himself over, handing off his laptop, "Here. Behold."

Ian started reading, "Oh. Oh my. Um, Gav?" The redhead looked up, "Yeah?" "We have some things you need to read." Gav rolled over, squeezing in to look at the screen, "What's so…oh. This is…about….me?" "You're an urban legend." "Huh. I mean, I know I probably scared a lot of people at night…and urban explorers…but…wow."

"You are a celebrity," Ian shrugged, "Are there more?" "It's a big thread, so maybe." "This is weird." "You okay?" "Well, the attention from strangers is a bit off putting, but that might be the autism." "The raccoon photo is impressive," Ian studied it. "Yeah, we had to fight for the dumpsters. You're not grossed out by me having eaten from dumpsters, are you?"

"We figured you had to do what you needed to survive." "And I've seen Ian drop a gyro in the actual road on Sixth, pick it up, dust it off, and eat it." Gav relaxed, "It was gross, but it helped me feed the group. I could open dumpsters, and they couldn't." "So, are you going to post? You can use my account." Gav thought for a moment, "I think…maybe I should. I know it'll kill a lot of the mystique, but there are people that want to know if I'm okay." "Hang on," Ian took a photo of Gav in front of the computer, "Sending this to your email, Kaz."

Kazuo downloaded it, "Add that to your post." Gav nodded, starting to type.

So, one of my boyfriends found this thread. (This is his account) I am the Detroit Dogman, and I am safe in Texas after leaving Detroit in 2007. I had a really bad home life - I'm gay, and was the unwanted twin, and left at 16 in 2005, though I'd been wandering with my pack since late 2002, when I'd found them while wandering during a night I'd run away from home. We did live in the old Packard plant, though I'd take a few days to get food or try to replace clothes and blankets. I stole a lot, and I'm not proud of it, but I'd also panhandle, scared as I was of people, to get dog food.

We did fish the Detroit river, and it was the only fresh meat I had while on the street. I wouldn't call fast food dumpster diving 'fresh'. Life was rough, but at least I could provide entertaining stories and some scares.

As I said, I'm safe in Texas. Austin. I have two wonderful boyfriends who pulled me off the street, and gave me a home and a job - I'm a paralegal now, my one partner is a lawyer, and I'm happy and healthy now. I'm attaching a photo of me in front of this thread. I look forward to more stories. I had to leave my dogs behind because there was no safe way for us to all travel together. I miss them, and I hope they're okay. My name is Gav, by the way, to put a name to the dirty, bedraggled face.

Signed, the Detroit Dogman

Gav sat back for a moment, before hitting 'post'. "You alright?" Ian cocked his head. "Yeah," Gav said, "It's like I have closure. But I still get to be an urban legend. I'm okay with that." Kazuo draped himself around Gav's shoulders, "You ready for lunch, Dogman?" "Yeah. I think we need chili." "Good choice," Ian stood, stretching, "You've earned it." Gav replaced Kazuo's laptop, "Hard to believe I'm a celebrity." "We'll have to look for more stories," Kazuo grinned. "I want to compile them," Gav pulled on his coat, "Maybe write some sort of memoir -

The Dogman Chronicles."

#oc #original character

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kuithesun · 1 year

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IN THE PRESENCE OF ABSENCE

By: Mahmoud Darwish

February 11, 2013

Love, like meaning, is out on the open road, but like poetry, it is difficult. It requires talent, endurance, and skillful formulation, because of its many stations. It is not enough to love, for that is one of nature’s magical acts, like rainfall and thunder. It takes you out of yourself into the other’s orbit and then you have to fend for yourself. It is not enough to love, you have to know how to love. Do you know how? You cannot answer, because you cannot relive the ecstasies that shook you and scattered you all over the lilac’s escapade, electrified you and tortured you with the scorching taste of honey. You cannot recall the liveliest and sweetest modes of death; when your “I” left you for your woman, and you encountered your self, fresh as a ripe fruit, in her.

When recalled by words, those moments are impervious to the attempt to raise the body to the station of the soul. Who among us has not said to his woman: “I only exist in you,” and was truthful. We were truthful, as well, when we found our existence in a similar utterance in a different place. So do you know how to love? You cannot answer, perhaps because you did not notice the subtle atmospheric shifts when traveling from pole to pole: love and passion, rapture and infatuation, ardor and affection, fondness and devotion, blazing love and bewildering love, craving and caprice, dalliance and desire, longing and lust, admiration and attraction, and other desires in search of senses. In every station the body has a certain state, and for every state there is a station between death and life. So you never know where or how you are.

But as you look over your life now, like a mariner considering his own disappointment with the unfathomable secrets of the sea, you ask: Where is my port? You are uncertain how your heart returned safe and solid, like a quince still too hard to bite. Why did you cry, then, when the virgin by the tree was no longer a virgin because one of those who tame the wind had beaten you to her? And why did you cry again, when the second one did not open the door as you stood in the bitter cold shivering from humiliation, not from the cold that lit up your furnace? And why did you cry a third time when the third one departed without noticing that you were hugging a pillow, not a body of silk and ostrich feathers?

There is no love, you say, because no love is like any other. The magnetic pull that uproots a being from its being cannot be defined. So forceful is it that he never asks about his spirit when it is exiled, nor about his freedom when it has become voluntary slavery: I am yours! With one lock of hair astray in the wind, mountains are moved. Two parted lips ripen cherry orchards before their time. With a word without meaning, interpretation makes you a king on a throne of dust.

As if electrocuted, you walk aimlessly, drifting with falling leaves. The storm and your emotions make you dizzy and you make them dizzy. You do not know if you are happy or sad, because the confusion you feel is the lightness of the earth and the victory of the heart over knowledge. You will later learn that love, your love, is only the beginning of love. In the beginning of love you are prepared, like a musical instrument, to compose according to the dictates of the air. Every breeze is a musical note and every silence a prayer of gratitude.

You are prepared also for a nocturnal reconnaissance of every sound coming to you from the star’s abode. So prolong this beginning, the beginning of love, so that imagination will submit to you as a horse to its rider. So that language will conquer you and you it, like a man and a woman racing to greet the unknown with the generosity of mutual obedience.

In the beginning of love, beginnings swarm down on you, deep blue. At the height of love you live it, you forget it, it forgets you and makes you forget the beginnings. At the end of love you look long at the clock. In absence, beginnings find the residual aches of the room: not having a second glass of wine, a missing blue shawl. The poem is filled with missing elements, and when you complete it with an incompleteness that opens into another poem, you are cured of memories and regrets. The gold in you does not rust. As if writing were, like love, the offspring of a cloud. When you touch it, it melts. As if the utterance were only incited in an effort to make up for a loss. The image of love reveals itself there; in a profoundly present absence.

And when you step out of yourself, as if you were you, you look at yourself from a distance as if you were he: standing in the rain on a street crowded with pedestrians, a bouquet of red roses in your hand. You do not feel cold in your peculiar stance, you feel the chill of mockery. You wonder: Was it love or passion or lust? And you forget your emotion. You forget it and do not look for it. You are not hurt or regretful. You simply greet it from afar as it moves toward a distant memory that will not make you sleepless. A memory you control as you might control the VCR: you place the end at the beginning, or freeze the image according to the wishes of your mercurial heart.

You laugh, embarrassed by words that were so excessive in praising lust that they consumed it. A lust that starts with a pair of feet sculpted by a sliver of sun, moving up two skillfully cast legs from where lightning flashes, and on to knees that were certified miracles. Higher still: the belly ebbs. Farther up: sunset gradually absorbs you with noble, bashful voraciousness. You approach and retreat, rise and fall, sweat, sigh, and drown in an enchanting night of sultry darkness. Her hands, or maybe yours, gather and carry you like an eagle swooning in a sky dripping with stars. You peek at her half-open eyes peeking at your half-closed eyes. Each of you wants to make sure that you are budding inside one another.

But no one makes a peak his abode. You both slip together from the highest heaven into a dewy drowsiness. You both whisper in the shared silence and say nothing, but it is more lucid than anything. You dream together, and separately, that this embrace might last forever, until you realize that “forever” has a very short life span, and that eternity does not heed anyone. It often circulates and shifts from one minute to another and from one state to another.

You, who only know love when in love, do not ask what it is, nor do you look for it. But when a woman once asked you if you were in love with love itself, you were evasive and escaped by answering: I love you. She persisted: Do you not love love? You said: I love you, because of you. She left you, because you could not be trusted with her absence. Love is not an idea. It is an emotion that can cool down or heat up. It comes and goes. It is an embodied feeling and has five, or more, senses. Sometimes it appears as an angel withdelicate wings that can uproot us from the earth. Sometimes it charges at us like a bull, hurls us to the ground, and walks away. At other times it is a storm we only recognize in its devastating aftermath. Sometimes it falls upon us like the night dew when a magical hand milks a wandering cloud.

But all of these forms coalesce – become visible, perceptible, and tangible – in a woman, not in the idea itself. We love the lure of form, and imagination devotes itself to discerning what is mysterious and wondrous within. As for souls, they acquaint themselves and become intimate with its glittering form through its essence. You might disagree about what one body says to the other, so you move on to the transparent and slip into bodies brimming with water, harmony, and music. Love shifts, transforms, and is impervious to identification. It is being seized in such a manner that infatuation becomes confused with illumination. It is what you do not know, and know that you do not know. It is the completion of meaning with non-meaning, because of its excessive tendency to take things for granted and squander its presence. It resists repetition and negates the need to mend air with color. Otherwise, it might become a marriage where correcting each other’s assertions replaces the improvisation of poetry, from which love breathes. The prose of domestic chores is not conducive to keeping two fresh pears on a marble plate, or for inciting the unknown to block the road in the face of the known. There must be a secret. There must be an ongoing secret for love to remain a surprise and a gift. So do not open the closet that contains the secrets of her nature.

If infatuation subsides, love drifts, little by little, toward the daylight of friendship. You say to her: How beautiful is our friendship, to age together and lean on each other and feel compassion for each other in an old people’s home when we lose our memory. But I would rather lean on my cane, and not on you. I do not want to see Romeo and Juliet, or Qays and Layla grow old before me. Love has an expiration date, just like life, canned food, and medicine. But I would prefer love to collapse from a cardiac arrest at its peak of desire and infatuation, like a horse falling off a mountain into an abyss.

I asked you: Who is she? You said: She has so many selves that I myself do not know her. She and not she. She and her personae, when they come together in a love poem, that draws on many sources, search for the fulfillment of what cannot be fulfilled, are moved by a call that overwhelms us without our realizing that it has yet to arrive, and by a renewed thirst next to the spring. She and not she; she is present and absent, it is as if her presence holds my absence within her, and her absence carries the presence of details. But she moves with so many names it is impossible to know if she is she, or one of the women my imagination and mercurial desires have invented. But it seems that she is an invention, because I never confuse names. I never call another by her name, which I have forgotten because so rarely did I use it.

I asked you: Do you not know how to love, then? I was astonished when you said: What is love? As if I had not loved, except when I imagined that I was in love. Such as when I am taken by a hand waving out of a train window – perhaps not meant for me – but I take it as such and kiss it from afar. Or when I see a girl waiting for someone at the entrance of a cinema and I imagine that I am that someone and take a seat next to her and see myself with her on the screen during a romantic scene. I do not care whether I am happy or sad by the end of the film. Because I look for her in what comes after the end. I do not find her next to me after the curtain falls.

I asked you: Were you acting, my friend?

You said: I used to invent love when necessary. When I walked alone on the riverbank. Or whenever the level of salt would rise in my body, I would invent the river.

Are you an artist, or know someone who is?

(PEN AMERICA

588 BROADWAY, SUITE 303

NEW YORK, NY 10012

T (212) 334-1660 F (212) 334-2181

PEN AMERICA LOS ANGELES

LOS ANGELES, CA 90028

1370 N. ST ANDREWS PLACE

T (323) 424-4939

PEN AMERICA WASHINGTON, D.C.

1100 13TH STREET NW, SUITE 800

WASHINGTON, D.C. 20005)

#In the Presence of Absence #Mahmoud Darwish #nonfiction #poetry #PEN Literary Awards #art #5th dimension #Love #what is love #how to love #new earth #self discovery

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vbdrita · 2 years

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Brick rigs ps4 price

BRICK RIGS PS4 PRICE PS4

Basic cards come with 1GB of GDDR 5 memory, the same type as the PS4. Hitting Newegg gives us any number of options here. If you're an NVIDIA fan, and/or want PhysX support, you can look to the GTX 660 instead. I asked at the event.) But we have enough to guess an equivalent part: Again, sticking with AMD, the closest current equivalent is the 7850, also at 2 teraflops.Īlthough we can find more powerful GPUs, we're sticking as closely as we can to the PS4's specs. It's hard to say what “enhanced” means (and Sony aren't telling.

BRICK RIGS PS4 PRICE PS4

But we’re working strictly with what we can buy today.)Īccording to Sony, the PS4 will have an “enhanced PC GPU” running at 2 teraflops. Intel's next generation low-power Core processors, codename Haswell, would be interesting here too. (We could also pick an actual low-power mobile CPU, but those are much thinner on the ground, more so at a high core count the best Newegg lists is the Core i7-2720QM at $400. It lacks an integrated GPU, but that's fine, as we're going to add our own anyway, below. This particular i5 variant runs you $180, quite a bit more, but it has a power rating of just 69W, which is compelling. A 4-core processor has too few cores to be a close comparison, but the 6-core FX-6100 runs at 3.3Ghz and 95W, and costs $120.įor reasons we’ll come to later in motherboard section, we’re going to make a pick from the Intel side of the aisle, specifically the i5-3350P, which is a 3.1GHz quad core processor-the maximum number of cores Intel offers (albeit, they’re more powerful cores). But that's more than double the speed of the PS4's CPU, and rated at 125W, it's definitely more power-hungry. If we stay with AMD, we could match the core count by grabbing an 8-core FX-8120 Zambezi processor running at 3.1Ghz for $160. There's no direct equivalent to pull off the shelf neither AMD nor Intel make low-power CPUs with high core counts for the unwashed masses. Clocked at 1.6Ghz, other than the number of cores, it's more reminiscent of a mobile chip. Sony said the processor in the PS4 will be an 8-core low-power device created just for them by AMD. These prices are accurate as of February 23, 2013.

#Brick rigs ps4 price

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youresog0lden · 4 years

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Dear Y/N, Forever Yours Truly Spencer || S.R

WC: 1.1k

WARNINGS: mention of a relapse, mention of drugs, use of gods name (I think) talk of death. Pure angst.

masterlist

25 days of Spencer master list

Yours Truly MASTERLIST

Part 1

AN: please this literally made me cry so much. I love this one. Also listen to ‘I love you’ by Billie Eilish while reading this.

December 14th 2013

Dear Y/N,

I can’t believe that you were presumed dead less than twelve hours ago. I miss you and I don’t think I can handle you not being in my life anymore.

-Forever yours truly Spencer.

December 25th 2013

Dear Y/N,

My first Christmas without you for the first time in ten years. I miss you everyday, your present came in today. It was too late to cancel the order so I kept it. It was a necklace that had a picture of us from the first day we met. I guess I won’t ever be able to see you wearing it. I miss you more and more everyday.

-Forever yours truly Spencer.

January 19th 2013

Dear Y/N,

It’s crazy we’re nearing your birthday. All I can think about is what you’d be doing if you we’re here right now. Around August of last year I always pictured proposing to you in front of the Arc de Triomphe. You told me you always wanted to go there so I bought us a ticket to go for your birthday. I wanted to keep it a surprise but here we are. And you’re not here. Y/N I wish you were here. JJ had a kid. I know you would’ve loved him. Jack is getting so much bigger. Emily misses you. Derek can’t look over to where your desk is. I can’t come to the terms that you are no longer here. I keep thinking that if you were here that we’d be trying to make a kid of our own. You did always talk about them, I know that you really wanted one. I’m trying bubs. I’m trying so hard to get through this. I can’t keep doing this. I need you here in my life. Please come back, come back to me.

-Forever yours truly Spence.

February 26th 2014

Dear Y/N,

I miss you.

-Forever yours truly Spencer

March 10th 2014

Dear Y/N.

Your mom came to visit today. She said that she went to your grave and that she put new flowers there. She really misses you. So does the team. I love you forever and always.

-Forever yours truly Spencer.

June 14th 2014

Dear Y/N,

I haven’t written back. Mainly because I’ve been getting help. By help I mean I had a relapse. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I needed help. I still do. The drugs are the only way I’m able to see you. I’m able to hold you still. I thought I saw you the other day. I followed who I thought was you but they got away too fast. I haven’t been able to sleep well because I can’t get your face out of my mind. You’ve been gone for half a year today and I don’t think I can keep getting through this. The drugs let my mind escape from reality. I miss you so much.

-Forever yours truly Spence.

August 22nd 2014

Dear Y/N,

This may be the last time I write to you for a while. My therapist said I need to move on from these letters. It's okay to write them every now and then but every month isn’t healthy. I know that. I know it isn’t. But this is my only way to feel connected to you. I met someone but I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere.

-Forever yours truly Spencer.

December 14th 2014

Dear Y/N,

Today was a hard day for everyone. It’s been a year. A year without your smile lighting up everyone's life when you walk into the room. A year without endless coffee runs. A year without hearing Derek call you butterfly. A year without Hotch cracking a smile at one of your stupid jokes. A year without Emily smiling when you talk about a new song from your favorite band. A year without Garcia's small little laughs only you can get out of her. A year without JJ talking about telling you how excited she is that she’s pregnant and how you were going to be the godmother .A year without you Rossi teaching you about cigars. A year without waking up to you by my side. It’s hard Y/N. We miss you more than you could know.

-Forever yours truly Spencer

July 27th 2015

Y/N,

Remember when I told you about that girl. Well it’s going somewhere. She was in my AA meeting and we met and started to hang out. She was the first person to take my mind off you. I think I’m falling in love with her. She knows about you. She understands and is willing to take her time.

-Spencer.

October 28th 2015

Y/N,

It’s my birthday. I can’t help but think of you today. JJ, Hotch, Garcia, Morgan, Em they all called me today to tell me happy birthday. I was hoping I’d get one from you telling me happy birthday. But it’s like no matter what I keep forgetting you’re dead. I wish you weren’t god, do I ever wish. I miss you more than I should today. Maybe it’s because we never not spent our birthdays together, maybe it’s because Jolie took me to the same place you did the year before everything happened. I remember it like clock work. Actually we went to my favorite ice cream shop and when I told you I would pay you begged me to pay so I distracted you and paid. Then you told me about this fair thing that was going on so we went and you knew how much I hated roller coasters so you begged me once again to go one them with you so I couldn’t resist and the last one. We got to the top and you told me the three words and the world froze for a moment and I grabbed you and kissed you like our lives depended on it. I broke apart and I told you I loved you too. Everything was amazing until the case came in. I still love you. I will always love you. You were my first love and you will be my last. I wish you were still here.

-Spencer

December 14th 2015

Y/N,

Two years everyone's moving on finally. Today is the one day all of us take off to spend with you. We talk about the good times. We miss you.

-Spencer

January 22 2016

Y/N,

Happy birthday love you.

-Spencer

September 01 2018

Y/N,

I’m proposing to Jolie. I love her with my whole heart and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her by my side. Thank you for teaching me how to love Y/N,

-Spencer

November 17th 2018

Y/N,

You’re alive.

-Spencer

TAGLIST: (message me or send an ask to be added!) @mcntsee

#spencer #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #mgg #derek morgan #Penelope Garcia #emily prentiss #arron hotchner #Jenifer Jareau #david rossi

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fatehbaz · 4 years

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M*sk in 2018, speaking about Boca Chica: “We’ve got a lot of land with nobody around, and so if it blows up, it’s cool.” M*sk in September 2019, at an event in Boca Chica: “We are working with the residents of Boca Chica Village because we think over time it’s going to be quite disruptive. [...] So probably over time it’s better to buy out the villagers.”

Space/X launch site; the mouth of the Rio Grande; the Gulf Coast; Laguna Atasacosa National Wildlife Refuge; three newly proposed major fossil fuel export terminals; the US’s only known resident ocelot populations; and the US-Mexico border all meet at this one site near Brownsville. In May 2019, on a mission to create “the commercial version of Cape Canaveral” (which M*sk says would eventually host 3 launches per day, which would require up to 10 billion pounds of rocket fuel use per year) the company filed federal paperwork to transform the location from merely a launch site to a “testing” and “experimental” site as well, which was significant enough to increase its insurance liability $3 million to $100 million. The company is now buying out the entire community of Boca Chica, with around-the-clock constant noise, construction, etc.

Text and photo excerpts below from Rachel Monroe, “El*n M*sk, His Rocket, and the Grand Scheme that Tore Apart Boca Chica.” Esquire. 27 February 2020.

Excerpt:

M*sk has said that he’d like to see as many as three launches a day from Boca Chica. “I did the calculation -- that’s more than nine billion pounds of fuel per year,” said Dave Mosher, a reporter for Business Insider who covers Space/X. “I don’t think you can get the fuel there fast enough.” Even so, in 2013, at a hearing before the appropriations committee of the Texas state legislature, M*sk laid out his vision for “the commercial version of Cape Canaveral.” He was there to support two bills intended to lure Space/X to the state. One would reduce a private space company’s liability in the case of a nuisance complaint; the other, written by the congressman from Brownsville, would empower county officials to deny access to public beaches when “spaceflight activities” were on the calendar. In his speech, M*sk was by turns encouraging and coy. “Texas is our leading candidate right now,” he told the room. But also, “any support Texas can offer will be helpful.” Perry signed both bills into law. [...]

According to Brownsville’s then mayor, Tony Martinez, M*sk told him, “One day, you are going to read that a man left Brownsville and went to Mars.” [...] Riding high on his promise of economic expansion, M*sk didn’t encounter much resistance. The city, county, state, and University of Texas system put together an incentive package worth nearly $40 million. “El*n says ‘Man, you guys need a new airport.’ Even though he doesn’t fly commercial,” Martinez recalled. [...]

Last May [2019], the company quietly filed paperwork with the FAA indicating that its plans for Boca Chica had changed. Instead of being a commercial launch site to send Falcon rockets into orbit, it was now home to Space/X’s “experimental test program,” through which the company would design and build Starship. And because Starship was now central to Space/X’s vision of its future, Boca Chica was, too. The government required the company to up its liability insurance from $3 million to $100 million, [...] but otherwise approved the pivot. None of this was immediately apparent to the people of Boca Chica, however. [...]

At the end of September [2019], when tensions were at their peak, the residents of Boca Chica Village received a message from Space/X. The private space company was publicly unveiling its new spacecraft here, at the southeastern tip of Texas, and they were invited. The gesture came as a surprise. Earlier that month, homeowners in this tiny community [...] had received another letter from Space/X, via Fed/Ex. “Expansion of spaceflight activities,” it read, “will make it increasingly more challenging to minimize disruption.” Given the company’s ambitions -- massive and, as the residents had come to learn, always shifting -- Space/X wanted to buy their homes. [...] By mid-fall [2019], Boca Chica Village began to fracture. The homeowners who had accepted the buyout offered in September felt judged by the holdouts; the holdouts felt betrayed by the sellers. [...] Boca Chica will soon be less a “poor people’s beach” or a community [...] than a busy industrial corridor. Indeed, the beginnings of a liquefied-natural-gas export facility at the Port of Brownsville are already visible on the horizon. [...] As with so many of M*sk’s visions, it seemed at once difficult to take seriously and dangerous to dismiss.

[End of excerpt.]

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barnesandco · 4 years

Text

Eat the Rich: Chapter 2

Eat the Rich Masterlist

The Avengers are tasked with tracking down an elusive thief, and retrieving the grand amounts of money she has stolen. Even after capture, she turns out to be impossible to break, save for a mystifying interest in Bucky.

Written for @mermaidxatxheart ‘s #jamiesmadwritingbash, under the Robin Hood AU prompt.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: mentions of Bucky’s Hydra days, and a short mention of dissociation. Disaster Avengers having breakfast.

A/N: I really really really love that people are saying they like the reader bc that’s the character people envision themselves as when they insert themselves into this kind of fanfic. I hope you enjoy what more we get to see of the reader here. So enjoy, and please continue to reblog and comment -- it makes this so much fun!

I’m not doing taglists, but you can follow and turn on notifications for @ayeshaupdates to be notified when I post.

Divider by the fantastically talented @whimsicalrogers!

The dispute that had ensued after Bucky had voiced his wish to Steve had turned to resigned acceptance by the time the first slivers of dawn had started to creep across pristine floors, and Bucky found himself victorious. It's a grim glory that accompanies him down the hall and into the cell you had been moved into for the night. There's no mode of observation for this room, save for the presently closed viewing panel in the door. It's really early, and even though he doubts that you're asleep, given the stressful circumstances, his hand pauses where it's about to knock on the door.

With Steve having left for his run with Sam, and the others asleep or inactive in some way, shape or form, he's alone in the silver hallways of this portion of the Compound. Hand still in the air, tight fist, white knuckles and lip bitten red, and then he composes himself. Stepping away, he sits down on the floor, back against the wall and knees pulled up.

While he waits, he listens, even if all he can hear is his own heartbeat and the faint, collective chorus of the birds chirping. The sturdy walls and doors between your bed and his floor prevent any speculation on your activities, since the only monitoring permitted is that of vital signs so an alert can be raised if there is danger. He could open the panel, but that might wake you and he doesn't want that. Whether this disruption, and how it is sure to initiate the crucial dialogue he’s here for, is undesired for his sake or yours is unclear.

His head meets the metal behind him, and the cold stings at his scalp, but Bucky stays that way. Likes the cold bite of it, on occasions such as these, when he needs the ice-crystal clarity of mind, and he knows it'll warm up soon, under his touch. Likes knowing that Hydra doesn't control him all the time, that he can feel the prickle of freezing skin without having a debilitating flashback to cryostasis is indicative of how far he's come. He's no longer the man Steve flew to New Zealand for a month after he had a hellish dissociative episode courtesy of New York's first snowfall.

The metal thaws behind him, sunlight through the thin sliver of window at the top of the wall slides higher on the door. Opalescent solar glare on silver steel, half a rainbow in his exhausted eyes, and the weight of evaporating dew in the air is what precedes a conversation that has his stomach in knots and crosses.

The digital, holographic clock strikes nine above the cell door.

Rising to his feet, Bucky can feel every single one of his 103 years in his back, the avoirdupois of a century's lamentable events on his weary shoulders. So he does a breathing exercise before he tries the door again.

Allowing his lungs to expand to their full capacity, and then holding that breath there until his alveoli scream, before exhaling in a rush of sweet-cereal scented breath, makes him feel less stone-like. More muscle than metal, soft and pliable and open. Steve would argue that that's perilous, here, in front of a woman who's so touch-and-go, all breakneck smiles, but he's not an Avenger when he enters that room -- he's Bucky Barnes, looking for more pieces of himself, pieces that he'll never find if his eyes are shut tight against the impact.

You answer upon the second knock. "Come in." Your voice lilts to a light taunt, but it’s effect is minimized by the drowsy scratch of your voice. Opening the door after letting it recognize his irises, Bucky thinks that the same can be said about the Christmas-just-came-early spark in your eyes, when they're underlined by dark bags. You're still wearing the green hoodie.

" 'Morning," he says softly, pausing in the doorway. The cell contains a metal chair of the same style as those in the interrogation rooms, and the cot you're sitting up in, back against the wall behind you. There's a small door in one corner that he knows leads to a toilet cubicle.

"To what do I owe this extraordinary pleasure, Mr. Barnes?"

"Bucky," he blurts unthinkingly, and your eyes widen in surprise and amusement. His guard is down, and he needs to be cautious. "And you can thank yourself for being so goddamn persistent and getting on everybody’s nerves."

The smirk brought to your face is aimed at your hands, bound loosely in front of you. A more tender expression than most seen before. The long, fretful night seems to be taking its toll on you. Perhaps you’re slipping. Or perhaps you’re pretending to, his instincts warn. He sighs, clenches his hands into fists, lets his nails dig into his palm. Metal whirs, purrs, and he releases when you move both bound hands towards the chair in front of you.

Bucky sits down, rubs his palms back and forth over his thighs, lets the grainy feel of the denim under scratch at his hands. "You know me,” he begins.

"Not nearly as well as I'd like,” you say with a grin, looking up from your hands. He glowers.

"I'm serious."

Your smile widens. "So am I. Come a little closer. I don't bite,” you tease, and he decides to take you up on it. Gets up and sits on the cot a couple of feet away from you, folding one leg up so his foot is under his thigh and keeping the other on the floor. You’re unfazed at having your bluff called. "...Unless you want me to,” you finish, and he ignores it.

"You kept asking for me while you were being questioned.”

“You were watching? Did you like what you see?”

The temptation to roll his eyes is strong, but he manages to hold it in check, and fixes a strong focus on you. This is important. It’s about his life. “You wanted to talk to me, so here I am. Now let’s talk.”

“Where would you like to start?”

“How about your name?”

“Oh, you’ll have to get to know me a little better if you want me to give up that secret. Try again," you urge, and he huffs. Like drawing blood from a rock.

Every question he could ask, every query he needs an answer to is being whirled around in the chaotic storm in his head, and it's so difficult to pick out just one. “Have we met?” He decides upon, momentarily forgoing the alternatives: Who are you? Why do I feel like I know you? Why do I feel like you're important? What part of me do you hold in those bound hands of yours?

Head tilted upwards, you consider the ceiling while searching for an answer. “Briefly.” And then you pause. Bite your lip, look down, make a so-so motion with your head. “Well, I wouldn’t say met, exactly. I wreaked some havoc and you watched.” That tells me jack-shit, sweetheart.

“When?”

“February of 2013," you respond instantaneously. Good memory. That's useful.

“So I was with Hydra," he assumes, instantly going down all the roads he might know you by. A mission, a murder, more violence, another apology. Were you partners in crime, or his target? Or were you just in the way?

“I don’t agree with that phrasing, but yes, I suppose so."

“Did we work together?” He dares to question.

There's a change: a tangible shift in the atmosphere, like the scent of ozone in the air before a thunderstorm. The stiffening of your posture, how you sit up straighter but hunch your shoulders against some invisible attack tells him he's touching a nerve, nearing cyclone waters. It takes a moment for the mask to fall back into place over your face, before you're able to answer, with venom, repulsed. “God, no. I would never work for them.” It's the most sincere emotion he's heard from you, this disgust. It eases him to know how strongly you feel about Hydra, but he’s wary of your raw response to it.

So, he treads more kindly. Softly. On eggshells sharp and off-white, feeling his way around the balance of your temper. “Then how did we meet?”

“I was on a heist,” you say, matter-of-factly. In your tone of voice, now even and professional, it sounds like the most natural thing in the world. As though stealing from megalomaniac neo-Nazis is just another day at work.

“What kind of heist? Who sent you?” Bucky observes the way you're pulling the edges of your sleeves over your hands as much as you can with your restraints. At this question, your smile returns, and he relaxes. Can now feel his leg falling asleep under him now that he's not so tense.

“Nobody sent me. I’m a free agent. I work for myself,” you announce, chin up.

“What were you going to steal from Hydra?” He asks, and your head turns slowly towards him, firework sparkle meeting level, cool, sky-blue, a hurricane simmering behind his irises.

“You.”

“We did not sign up for this,” Barton grumbles from his second cup of coffee -- addicts, the lot of them -- adjusting his hearing aid with a frown on his face at the turn of events.

Sam clears his throat, setting down a half-empty glass of orange juice next to Natasha’s espresso on the table and speaks next, “That’s messed up, man, that’s really, really messed up.” This is said with a shake of his head, and Bucky, having no response to either Barton or Sam, addresses Steve.

“There’s something she’s not telling me, Rogers.” He uses the last name to revert to the days of talking shop in green tents with the gravity of impending shelling in the air. Life or death, and though the circumstances aren’t quite so acute right now, this is a grave matter, too. Steve's standing hunched over the kitchen island, arms outstretched and hands flat on the granite surface, studying the pattern like it holds all the answers.

Bucky watches him think, but Stark, in Spider-Man PJs and the bed-head of the century, strolls into the kitchen at a leisurely pace and interrupts. “There are a lot of things she’s not telling you. Who she is, where the money is, wh--”

“She’s not telling me why," Bucky interrupts a tirade that he knows could continue forever, given the chance. “People don’t go around stealing super soldier assassins for the hell of it.”

“Maybe she’s working for someone who wanted you to work for them instead of Hydra," Peter suggests over a ridiculously large bowl of ridiculously colorful cereal at the breakfast nook.

“She doesn’t work for anyone. Says she’s a free agent."

“And you believe her?” Sam wonders. It's a genuine question, curious but not dismissive or doubtful.

“Barnes has quite the built-in lie detector," Nat tells Sam from next to him, her yoga-pant clad legs splayed across another chair. Yeah, he’s good at telling when people are being dishonest, but there’s also the fact this woman is way too fearless, fucking crazy to be made to do anyone's bidding. No chance in Hell does she takes orders.

Tony slumps in an orange loveseat. “Must be a Russian thing," he quips, and then breaks out into a yawn.

Bucky puts his hands on his hips and glares at all of them, by turn, sharply. "Would you let me finish?" He demands. "She couldn't tell me why she was going to steal me from Hydra, but she said she'd show me." One could hear a pin drop in this room, now, the bustle of Avengers replaced by the obviously preposterous proposition Bucky's relaying. "Just me," he adds.

"Me?" He asks, voice rising in pitch and volume, and he fights to control both, rising to his feet. "Why would you steal me?"

"Have you seen you?" You ask back, eyes scintillating, glowing with mirth. "Gorgeous hair, those eyes, and hands that I'm sure know how to treat a girl right.”

Bucky looks daggers at you, and you look back. "I'm serious."

"I thought you were Bucky,” you say innocently, and he thinks he could scream in frustration, but he drops down, kneels just beside where you sit, and holds onto the edge of the cot like it’s the end of the world he’s falling off of.

"I don't think you understand how important this is to me. You know something about me you won't say. I've been trying to put together my past so I can understand myself better and you have a piece of my history. I need to know,” he enunciates each word as if it’s his last. Needs to convey the severity of the situation, how he has been trying to rebuild himself into a new life from the scraps of the old ones. He’s aware that he’s complete as he is but he also makes choices for himself now, and he chooses to know.

You look down, and although it’s your hands that are bound, you offer a golden prayer. "Let me show you." A lifeline, something he doesn’t want to believe and doesn’t know if he can trust. Hence, the question:

"What?"

A sad shrug of your shoulders is the first answer, and it all starts to unravel from there. "I can't tell you, I really can't. It's complicated and a really long story--"

Bucky elevates himself on his knees, his fingers dig in a little tighter, and the metal of the bed begins to creak ever so slightly. "The way I see it, we have all the time in the world, darlin'," he says in a thick voice, emotion simmering at the corners of his lips.

"Darlin'?" You can’t help but ask, without any flirt this time, any teasing, just a question in a tone as surprised as he is at the slip of tongue.

Bucky decides to ignore the interruption. "So let's start at the beginning.”

Fervently, you shake your head. "I can't." At his wide-eyed disbelief, "I mean it, I can't."

"No, you can, you just won't,” he insists.

"We could have a grammar lesson if you want, or I could show you why I was going to steal the Winter Soldier."

"What do you mean show me?" Bucky asks, moving to sit on the chair again. Leaning forward, he places his hands on his thighs, looks into your eyes to pull forth the words you won’t give him.

You blink, unbudgingly. "I have to take you somewhere. It's the only way to explain."

A sharp bark of a laugh escapes him, and he shakes his head as it recedes into chuckles. Your face is now blank and expressionless, gauging how to handle this, and he gives you the first response that comes to mind. "You're full of shit."

"What happened to darlin' ?"

Meeting your eyes, he says, “You want me to let you out so you can escape. A five-year-old could see through that.” Then, Bucky leans back in his chair, crosses one ankle over the other as well his arms. His hooded gaze is at a stalemate with yours, and it’s a hopeless tug of war. So this is how it ends. A night spent sleepless in vain, a few battle bruises and the tug of disappointment in his belly.

A dismal, and last-ditch sigh ripples through the air, from lips dark and worried bloody. Your eyes look overcast and you open and close your mouth repeatedly to say something, but do not voice your thoughts. Giving you the time to formulate whatever perfect sentence you’re trying to utter is torturous, but he waits. Until you stop, speechless, and he gets to his feet. Turns to the door, and then you speak from behind him, while his hand hovers over the handle.

"Let me take you, and only you, to the place you need to see, and I'll cooperate. I'll give you what I have left of the money, and I'll plead guilty in court and serve my time.” Bucky freezes. "Just come with me,” and you’re the one making requests, making pleas now. It’s inexplicable, he knows he should be looking this particular gift horse in the mouth, and he convinces himself that he will, in time, but right now, he accepts.

"Was that an innuendo?" He asks, still facing away, the question indicating a truce.

"If you want it to be," you say, and he turns around to look at you. "What do you say, Barnes, are we going on a road trip?

Hope swells somewhere in him he thought had been long abandoned for darker days and arduous nights. The same intuition that taught him to ask for this piece of himself tells him something is coming. Something that’s going to make a difference.

"Bucky. It's Bucky. And yeah, I guess we are.”

#ayesha writes #jamiesmadwritingbash #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

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maraudersbutmuggle · 3 years

Text

Dear Prudence.

Pairing: James x Lily

February, 2013. From all the students of sixth year at Hogwarts, well the ones who had History with Mr. Binns. Lily hated that she ended up doing an assignment with Potter. Bloody James Potter. "Potter..." she had said crossing her arms. Potter and Black were trying to balance bottles of water on their heads. Like idiots. "Lily..." And Potter's bottle dropped. "Ha! I won, fuckers!" Sirius hit Remus' hand. Lily didn't even flinch. She was tired of The Marauders being freaking assholes. Well Remus was nice. She actually smiled at Remus. And Remus smiled back. "Can I say, Evans..." James smirked "You look nice" Lily rolled her eyes "We need to do Binn's assignment" James stared at her as if he didn't know what she was talking about. Probably he didn't. "Russian Revolution?" Lily heard Sirius, Remus and Peter whispering and giggling in the back. Probably making fun of his friend. "Right" James nodded "The russians" Lily sighed "I have a free period this Thursday..." "Are you asking me on a date?" James gasped "Pads, did you hear that?" "Oh, yeah yeah mate" Sirius snorted. "For the assignment" "Okay..." Lily was losing patience. "I don't have time for this" Lily sighed "Four in the afternoon. Thursday. Common Room" James smirked "It's a date" "For the assignment" "Okay..." "Just for the assignment" James kept nodding like an idiot. And his friends were giggling. Lily shook her head. And decided to leave instead. "See you on Thursday" James yelled. "It's not a bloody date, Potter!" Lily yelled back. Lily just wanted this to be over. And avoid interacting with James Asshole Potter to the minimum. And Thursday arrived. And Lily stopped reading Great Gasby at exactly 3:45. Just because she was anxious and couldn't concentrate. Because she had to spend a horrible time with Potter and his ego. And Lily stood up, sighing. And looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing the uniform. She fixed her skirt hiding her belly. And she combed her hair, because the pillow had messed it up a bit. And she decided she looked pale. So she put on some lipstick and mascara. Nothing too notorious, just to not seem sick. And then she looked at her refletion again. And she spent a great amount of time looking. Thinking she could never be as pretty as Alice or skinny and fit as Marlene, or as desirable and sexy as Mary... And the door of the dorm opened and she jumped. Mary and Marlene entered the room, chatting about some gossip. "I just think Melanie would never give Rick a chance" Marlene was saying "He's a twat. He always stares at my boobs at practice" Mary laughed. And then she looked at Lily "Wow... sweetheart! We have a date?" Lily raised an eyebrow. She laughed remembering she was actually gonna study with Potter. And then she panicked. Was she dressed for a date? She specifically told Potter it wasn't a date. Lily wiped away the lipstick and cleaned the makeup. "No... I was just... bored" And she combed her hair in a messy bun. And messed up her clothes. There. Like she didn't care. "Ah..." Mary sighed "I thought you were finally going to get into action" Lily blushed. "Not everyone is you, Mary" Marlene rolled her eyes. She crossed the room and threw herself there. "Very funny" Mary smiled "Aaaarg... I have bloody cramps and I want to kill someone" Marlene covered her face with the pillow. Lily smiled. "I have pills for that" "Really?" Marlene pouted Lily looked into her drawer and gave her friend a pill. "Aaw Lily you're the best" Lily kissed her head. Mary sat close to Marlene and she hummed in protest. "Well..." Lily looked at the clock, accepting her horrible destiny "I better go" Mary raised an eyebrow "Where? I thought we had a free period" Lily was going to explain. But she stopped. Because if she told her friends the truth, they were going to make jokes about it. And Lily wasn't in a mood. She was going to do homework. Just homework. And Potter was an asshole. "I... I have to go to the Library" she said, and took the book from her bed "And return this book" Mary and

Marlene

exchanged looks. "Three pounds that Lily has a secret boyfriend..." Mary began. Lily groaned "I don't have a secret boyfriend"

"Again, Mary" Marlene said "Not everyone is you"

Mary hit her with the pillow. And Marlene groaned. As the girls laughed, Lily exited the room before they could make more questions. Lily walked down the stairs into The Gryffindor Common Room. And there he was. Sitting by the fire. Bored apparently. Trying to hold a pen between his nose and lip. Lily couldn't believe girls could be into that prat. And she couldn't believe she had to spend the evening with him. Fuck. But not here. Because anyone could see them. Mary, Marlene, any of The other Marauders. And start making jokes about them. And Potter starting to say silly things to make her melt. And Lily wanting to run away forever. They needed to go somewhere else. "Potter..." The pen dropped. James stood up immediately. And then he stared at her. Upside down. "Woow..." "What?" "You look beautiful" James sounded so sincere that left Lily speechless. She had looked her worst today. And she had taken off her makeup, and her bun was loose. And it was weird that he said that when none of his friends were around. "We need to go somewhere else" Lily decided to say instead. "Why?" "Concentration" Lily shrugged "People are too loud" "There's practically no one here" It was true. There were only two fifth years studying and three second years whispering gossips. Lily sighed "Just follow me, Potter" Lily didn't know where else to take him. The Library, The Great Hall, any Common Room could have people. So that James could show off and not focus on the assignment. So Lily found an empty classroom instead. When Lily closed the door, James opened his mouth. But she stopped him. "Don't you dare say anything, Potter" Lily said "I didn't bring you here so we can snog" James smiled "I was gonna ask how were we going to divide the work" "Yeah right" Lily took a seat. "I was!"James giggled. Lily tried to ignore him, taking out her things from her bag. James sat next to her, and leaned back. And Lily could feel his gaze on her. "So... I was thinking that you could do the causes of the Revolution. And I can do the the actual war..." James nodded "Okay..." he kept looking at her. And he touched her hair and Lily flinched. And hit his hand. "Ouch...Relax. You had this on your hair" he showed her a black thread probably from her sweater. "We can start writing down ideas" she said "In silence..." James whistled, stretching. "Can I at least put on some music?" Lily shrugged. And began reading. Or pretending that she was. James played a song from his phone. Dear Prudence by The Beatles. Of course he chose The Beatles. James was the biggest fan there was and Lily didn't know why she knew that. So Lily finally began reading, assuming James was doing the same. And then he started singing. "Dear Prudence..... Won't you come out to play... Dear Prudence... Greet the brand new daay..." And Lily realized he actually didn't have a bad voice. Aaarg but he was an idiot. He was still showing off. "The sun is up... the sky is bluee.... is beautiful and so are you..." And then he stared into her eyes "Hmmhmm" he hummed the rest of the song as he read. Lily realized she was staring a bit too much. And got so angry with herself. No, with James. Such an asshole. "Dear Prudence...." So Lily took his phone and turned the music off. "I cannot concentrate" she spatted. James snorted. And shook his head. "Can I ask you something?" Lily sighed. She knew it. They weren't going to work. "Why do you hate me so much?" Lily was out of words for a second and then she answered. "Why do you fancy me so much?" James smiled "Tush" "You mean touché?" "I think you're pretty" James ignored her "Actually gorgeous. And you're smart. And I like your laughter. And you drive me insane" he snorted "That's why I like you" Lily tried not to blush. Not because it was James. She blushed easily, okay? "Your turn" he continued "Why do you hate me?" Lily thought for a minute on her answer. "Oh, you want to know why?" She asked defensively. "Yeah...that's why I asked..." Arrg.... Bloody literal Potter. "Because you're pretentious, arrogant,

manipulative rich boy who thinks he knows best and flirts with girls just because he pleases" she took a pause and then "And your hair, your ridiculous hair. I mean what is that?" Lily rubbed it and realized it was actually too soft. But she didn't care. James smiled slightly but he looked sad. "But you barely know me" "We've known each other for six years..." James looked down. Hopeless. And he finally began reading. And doing the assignment. He was actually doing the bloody homework now. Now. When Lily suddenly felt like chatting. What a dick. "I don't hate you" she said. And James looked up at her. Curious. Like a child. "I mean I don't bloody like you" She corrected "I'd never date you... But I don't hate you" "Cheers..." And he continued writing down. What was he writing down? He couldn't have ideas yet. "What's your favorite color?" Lily asked. James dropped his pen. He blinked in confusion and looked at her. "What?" "Well you said I don't actually know you" she explained "So I'm trying to know you" James laughed. He actually laughed. And Lily noticed dimples on his cheeks. And she tried not to smile. "Gryffindor Red" Lily rolled her eyes "Of course it is" James smiled "What's yours?" "Purple..." James nodded. "Actually lilac" she continued "You know at dawn. When the sky is trying to keep that baby blue. But the night comes along and it mixes colors and you have that kind of purplish color? That one..." James looked at her very amused. "I actually like red because of the hot afternoons in Florence. When it's sunset time. Everything looks kind of reddish for the warm. And the sweat and adrenaline of playing footie with dad" Lily didn't know James had been to Florence. Italy sounded like a beautiful place. "Now you're giving the smart answer because I gave one" James laughed "Yeah exactly" "How many times have you been to Florence?" Lily asked "Three" James sighed "My grandparents live there but it's always hard to travel because of the company. Dad has to always be in charge..." And time flew away as Lily asked questions and James answered and vice versa. Lily had learned many things about James' family. And his childhood, always wanting a sibling. And Lily told him a bit about Petunia. How they were apart. And James told her stories of how he made pranks for his parents' friends. And she laughed. And Lily told him about how she kept the secret of his father's cigars, because her mum hated him smoking. "I'm sorry he died, Lily" James said "I wish I could've met him" Lily looked down. She still missed her dad. He had died last year in a car accident caused by a bloody drunkie. "He was the only one that got me" she sighed "My favorite person in the world" James smiled at her sympathetically. And she smiled back. "He would've liked you, though" she snorted James raised an eyebrow "Really?" "He was childish too. And he had your stupid sense of humor" James giggled. And Lily closed her eyes, remembering her father. She missed him so much. She loved her mum. But she clearly prefered her perfect daughter Petunia. And everything that Lily did was wrong. "Fleamont is sick" James said suddenly. And Lily opened her eyes. And looked at him. James seemed sad and worried. So broken. "Your dad?" James nodded "I found out this Christmas" he explained "I overheard him talking to a doctor over the phone. I haven't told Sirius anything" Lily knew Sirius was living with The Potters. And they treated him like their son. "What does he have?" James shrugged "I don't know yet. But I am scared of losing him" And Lily found herself touching James' arm. Just because his eyes were watery. And she hated seeing him like that. James stared at her. And she stared back. James looked so cute with his puffy eyes... Wait what?

They were like that for what it felt like ages. And luckily, James' phone rang. And Lily put her hand away. Embarrassed. And he picked it up. "Hi Moony" he rubbed his hair embarrassed, he sniffed "What?" Lily noticed he had a concerned face. Something must've happened. "Where is he?" James asked "Okay... I am coming..." He stood up "Okay... I'll see you there..." he looked at Lily "Don't worry... I won't" And he hung up. "I have to go" He started picking up his things. "Everything okay?" "Yeah..." Lily knew he was lying. He was definitely lying. "I had a good time, darling" James smiled. And Lily realized they hadn't fought in like... she stared at her watch... TWO HOURS... They had been chatting for two hours?? They hadn't done any of the work. And by the look of it, James had hope that she could like him back, or give him a chance. And when he solved whatever he needed to solve, because he was lying, something happened; he was definitely going to tell his friends that Lily was giving in, and falling for him. And she couldn't let that happen. And fuel his stupid big ego. James still had James Bloody Potter. Nothing changed. "Yeah... whatever... Potter" she shrugged "It's not like we are friends or anything..." James sighed, disappointed "Okay, Evans" He started walking to the door. "Potter..." James turned. "Don't forget to do the assignment" But James simply left. Closing the door behind him. And Lily had a strange feeling on her chest.

#marauders era #muggle au #marauders muggle au #james potter #lily evans #jily #james x lily

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herewithmeharry · 4 years

Text

Worthwhile

Request: Hi love! Could you please write something where you have met Harry in the past (maybe 2013) and now you see each other again somewhere?? That would be amazing 🥺

Part 2

July 2013

The hotel gym was still as she pulled open the door after swiping her room card. She hadn’t expected anyone to be there, the clock on the wall indicating that it was ten minutes past midnight. She felt a surge of excitement knowing she had the room to herself and made her way towards one of the few racks of weights. After a full day of driving, she had a surprising amount of energy to burn before she could even think about going to bed. She placed her headphones over her ears, hitting shuffle on her workout playlist and beginning to stretch. With the music on full volume, she focused on counting her reps, mouthing along to the lyrics in between sets.

As she moved onto a mat on the floor, she didn’t notice him enter the room. Harry had a preference for working out late at night, finding that gyms were usually far less crowded or only occupied by business men, if at all busy. His gaze fell upon her, noticing her steady breathing and the beads of sweat running from her forehead. He headed to one of the treadmills in the corner of the room for a warmup, trying not to make his staring too obvious. The last thing he wanted was to be the guy in the gym that made her want to leave. Beginning to jog, Harry smiled to himself as he heard one of his songs coming from her side of the room. She still hadn’t seemed to acknowledge his presence.

She finished up her floor circuit, reaching for the towel she had borrowed when coming in and wiped the sweat off of her face. She took a deep breath before standing up and adjusting the waistband of her leggings, tossing the towel on the floor next to her water bottle. Shimmying along to her music, she turned to face the wall of mirrors overlooking the room. She caught Harry’s eye in the reflection, pausing momentarily as the reality of the situation set in. He offered her a smile in the mirror and she returned it shyly. His hair was held out of his face by a thin headband, black hoody covering his torso. She suddenly became aware of the song playing in her headphones and looked around for her phone, finding it in the floor pile of her belongings, lowering the volume and quickly skipping ahead to the next song. She didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable.

She glanced at the clock once more, realizing she had been there for an hour and deciding to call it quits for the night, stopping her music. She picked up the water bottle that she had emptied half way through her workout and sauntered to the water cooler. The treadmill beeped indicating the end of Harry’s warmup and he stepped off, debating whether or not to approach her. As she filled her water bottle, he mustered up the courage needed to talk to her and walked on over.

“You, uh, you didn’t have to turn down your music just because of me.” He spoke, immediately regretting his choice of opening. She turned towards him, caught off guard by the sound of his voice. He reached past her to grab a paper cup from the dispenser and fill it with water as she twisted the top back onto her bottle.

“Oh no! No, it’s fine. I just thought I was alone. Didn’t think anyone else would be here.” She admitted, sharing a reassuring smile that made Harry grin.

“It is quite late to be training, huh?” He recognized, soft chuckles leaving both their lips.

“Yeah, I just had so much energy that I needed to burn before trying to go to bed.” She explained and Harry nodded in agreement.

“What brings you to Denver?” He took a sip of his water, watching as her fingers tugged on her shirt. She considered not sharing the real origin of her travels and blaming it on a family trip, but ultimately chose to be honest with him.

“You, actually. Well, your concert.” She corrected herself, eyes falling on her shoes. Harry smiled, hands fiddling with his cup.

“I hope we make your trip worthwhile.” He quipped, eliciting a laugh from her.

“I’m sure you will.” She reassured, looking back up into his eyes and smiling timidly. Silence fell upon the both of them, Harry’s hand scratching the back of his head as he tried to find a way to keep the conversation going. Something about her drew him in. “I should probably let you get back to your workout.” He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a twinge of disappointment as she spoke.

“Oh, right.” He nodded slowly, remembering why he had gone down to the gym.

“It was really nice meeting you, though.” She went to grab the rest of her things, pulling on her hair tie as she made her way towards the door.

“Could, um, could I possibly get your phone number?” Harry choked out, prompting her to turn back around. Her eyebrows were slightly creased, but her lips were turned upwards. “It’s just sometimes we have extra tickets, maybe I could upgrade your seats?” Harry had to resist the urge to slap his palm on his forehead as he spoke.

“You really don’t have to.” She promised, shifting her feet.

“It’s nothing, really.” He attempted to persuade her, hoping she would accept his excuse.

“Alright.” She bit her lip as she took a few steps back to him, taking his phone into her hands and filling out her contact information.

“I’ll text you later, then.” Harry offered once she finished and she beamed in response.

“Okay, yeah! That’d be great.” She tried not to smile too widely as she waved goodbye, hearing a soft ‘good night’ on her way out.

February 2016

“Hi.” Harry spoke softly, taking her into his arms as she crossed the threshold of his home. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes closed and breathing in his familiar scent. Her fingers played with the curls at the base of his neck and she felt his breath against her skin as he pulled her closer. They both knew what was coming. “Missed you.”

She nodded in agreement, pulling back to look him in the eyes. Her right hand moved to cup his cheek, thumb brushing over his cheekbone.

“I missed you too.” She smiled sadly, trying to savor their last moments together. He pressed a kiss to her lips, fingers gripping the belt loops of her jeans. She withdrew after a few seconds, knowing she never would if she didn’t stop now. Harry let out a low breath, resting his forehead against hers momentarily.

“How was your flight?” He questioned, hand grasping hers lazily as he led her towards the kitchen.

“Long, actually. Couldn’t really sleep and I had to pee for half of it, but the woman next to me was sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her up.” She participated in his small talk, taking a seat on one of the barstools at the island and watching as he grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets.

“That’s what you get for always picking the window seat.” He teased, filling the glass with water and sliding it towards her.

“You know it makes me feel less sick.” She defended, hands grasping the cold drink. He laughed at her retort and leaned against the counter top, head resting in his palms. He watched her index finger swirl around the rim of the glass, her stare fixated on the cup. He noticed that she was still wearing the ring he had gifted her on their 2nd anniversary just a few months prior. He found himself thinking that maybe there was still a chance for the both of them.

“What’d you do today?” She asked, finally looking up. Harry shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, lips pursed.

“Not much, really. Slept in, tidied up a bit.” She bobbed her head, indicating that she had heard him. His answer to that question had been more or less the same for the past two months. She knew he’d been struggling since going on break. His life had been hectic and planned down to the minute for the past five years. Now, he was free to do what he wanted and he had no idea where to begin.

“Harry,” she broke their silence, voice shaking slightly. Harry rubbed his hands over his face when he heard her speak, pushing his hair out of his face.

“I know...” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

He knew it wasn’t fair to her. He knew she deserved a lot more than what he was capable of giving her at the moment.

“Don’t apologize, okay? I get it.” She rose from her chair, rounding the counter to stand next to him. “I think being alone right now will be really good for you.” Her eyes were glossy as she accepted the inevitability of their situation.

“I just wish I could figure this all out with you.” He admitted, keeping his eyes down. Her heart ached for him. She knew that he wasn’t happy.

“I know and I do too, but if we stay like this, if something doesn’t change, I don’t think you’re ever really gonna be happy.” Her words were soft as she let a tear roll down her cheek. “You’re lost, baby.”

Harry finally looked up, meeting her gaze. His eyes were red and he sniffed to stop his nose from running.

“I love you.” He whispered, letting her embrace him for what would most likely be the last time. She let herself cry with him, face nuzzled against his shoulder and hands rubbing the small of his back.

“This’ll be good for you, yeah? You can try new things and decide what you want to do next and you won’t even have to worry about finding the time to call your girlfriend.” Her remark elicited a small chuckle from Harry as she wiped at his tears.

“You’re not supposed to make me laugh right now.” He pouted. His hand found hers and their fingers intertwined. They remained quiet, basking in the little time they had left together.

“I should probably go.” She said quietly, still holding Harry’s hand.

“Can I walk you out?” He asked, clearing his throat.

“I’ll be alright.” He nodded in understanding, puffy eyes closing as she pressed one last kiss to his cheek.

“Bye.” She smiled softly, fingers untangling from his as she walked away with a small wave.

August 2018

“Hun, you need a night off.” Julian remarked as he plopped down in the chair next to her desk. She rolled her eyes at her coworker’s comment, flipping through some of the paperwork on her desk.

“You know this needs to be done by Monday, right?” She reminded, getting up from her seat and moving to the filing cabinet in the corner of her office.

“You’ve been doing overtime all week, darling.” He stated matter-of-factly, playing with one of the many stray pencils littering her workspace.

“And what exactly have you been doing all week?” She teased, sitting back down.

“You know what? It’s my friend Sarah’s birthday and we’re having a little shindig for her tonight. You,” he paused, pointing the pencil at her, “should come.”

“I don’t know,” she hesitated, looking at all of the work she still had to do. “I really need to finish this tonight.”

“How about this? If you come with me tonight, I will come in tomorrow and help you out with the rest of this. It’ll go twice as fast.” She considered his offer, realizing he did have a point. She had been spending three or four extra hours at work every night that week in order to meet her current deadline. She finally threw her hands up in defeat, accepting his proposal.

“Fine, but I expect you to be here by nine.” She bargained, starting to organize and put away the piles of papers covering the table in front of her.

“And I expect you to be ready by eight.” Julian countered, dropping the pencil before heading out of her office.

“We need to get a drink in you.” Dragging her to the crowded kitchen, Julian grabbed a red cup and filled it with the contents of multiple bottles littering the counter. She scanned the room, right hand holding onto the elbow of her opposite arm in an effort to comfort herself. She realized very quickly that she didn’t know anyone else at the party. “C’mon, drink up.”

“What did you even put in this?” She interrogated, swirling the dark mixture in her cup.

“Just trust me.” He persisted, taking a swallow of his drink as if to prove to her that it was safe to consume. She complied, taking a small sip as Julian spotted a group of friends across the room. He led her over and greeted the birthday girl with a hug before introducing his newest friend to the group.

“Happy birthday! Sorry, I feel like I’m crashing your party.” She admitted as Sarah brought her into her arms.

“Oh, nonsense! The more the merrier, as I always say.” She reassured her with a warm smile. “You look quite familiar, actually. Have we met before?”

She took a moment to really look at Sarah, her features unrecognizable to her.

“Not that I can recall.” She admitted, hoping she hadn’t completely forgotten the woman standing in front of her. Sarah simply shrugged with a giggle.

“Must be thinking of someone else.”

The group quickly fell into conversation, discussing her recent move to London for work and Sarah’s latest travels. She found herself thinking back on the times she spent traveling with Harry when she had been on break from uni, visiting a new city almost every day. Sarah’s last few months seemed to have been as fast-paced and lively as his time in the band.

Then, as if on cue, Harry entered the room. Her gaze fell on him, hair shorter than the last time she’d seem him. He was grinning as he was welcomed by other party attendees, taking the time to greet them. Like she had done when she had first arrived an hour earlier, he looked around the room. His eyes locked with hers, breath catching in his throat. She was the last person he expected to see that night. She quickly looked away, turning to Julian.

“Could you hold this for me, please?” She asked, handing him her drink. She didn’t wait for his answer before excusing herself and slipping through the crowd towards the front door. She stepped outside into the cool, late summer air and took a deep breath. She didn’t know why she had felt the need to leave when she saw him, considering their relationship had ended on a fairly good note. She had done her best over the last two years to move on, saying yes to a few dates and letting some of her friends set her up. However, she always found herself comparing potential relationships to the one she had with Harry and they never seemed to hold a candle. If she was being honest with herself, she was scared that he was always going to be the one that got away, that whoever she decided to make a life with she would only be settling for. She would keep up with him in the media, genuinely happy that he had been able to find himself after they parted ways, but it was slightly bittersweet to see such a confident version of him, knowing it stemmed from their breakup.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice brought her out of her thoughts, urging her to turn around slowly. He was standing at the top of the steps leading to the front door, signature crooked smile stretching across his lips as he saw her.

“Hi.” She spoke softly, offering a small smile in return. He stepped down to meet her on the walkway, arms opening to embrace her. She let him wrap his arms around her like he had done so many times before, hand rubbing her back. He still smelt the same.

“What are you doing here?” He questioned as she pulled back, arms crossing in front of her chest.

“A friend invited me to come along with him.” She explained, thumb pointing towards the house as if to prove that he was inside. Harry nodded, smile never faltering.

“How long are you in town for?” She remembered that she hadn’t informed him of her move to the city and wondered why they hadn’t spoken since their split.

“I actually moved here a few months back for work.” His smile widened into a grin as he listened to her response. She tried to catch him up on the last couple of years, answering any and all questions he had as they sat on the front steps. Harry felt calmed by her familiar voice and regretted not reaching out to her earlier. They spoke of her work and then of his, the tour he had just finished up overseas and her graduation from university. She was surprised at how easy everything still was with him and recognized how ridiculous her running away earlier had been. She couldn’t tell you how long they had been sitting outside when Julian finally came looking for her.

“There you are! Been looking all over for you.” They both shifted to look at him, somewhat startled by the unknown voice. “Thought you might be ready to go.”

She quickly glanced at Harry as he pushed back his hair. She bobbed her head, forcing herself up from her seat. “Can I meet you at the car?” She was hoping he would understand that she needed another minute with Harry. Julian’s stare moved from her to Harry then back to her, slowly nodding in response.

“I’ll go grab our things.” He flashed her a smirk accompanied by a wink and retreated into the house. She rolled her eyes, chuckle leaving her lips as she turned back to Harry.

“It was really nice to see you again.” She spoke honestly, finding herself not wanting to say goodbye.

“Yeah, missed talking to you.” He admitted with a timid smile. As he glanced at his feet, she saw a glimpse of the 19-year-old boy she had met so many years ago.

“Me too.” She confirmed, brief silence falling between them. “Well, I should probably go. Gotta work tomorrow.”

“Right, yeah.” Harry took her into another hug, squeezing her frame closer. She didn’t pull back as quickly this time, enjoying being close to him again. She finally withdrew herself from his arms and took a few steps back along the walkway. “I’ll see you later?”

“I would love that.” She beamed, giving a little wave before turning away from Harry and continuing down the path.

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megbox · 2 years

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2021 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2020) (2019) (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011)

2021, the year we all spoke longingly about in 2020 as the year things would be back to normal. How tragically and profoundly naive we were. Needless to say, things are not back to normal. However, despite the global pandemic that rages on around us at all times, it has not stopped 2021 from being a good year. Unfortunately, for a large part of this year the most exciting and all-encompassing (and unhealthy) thing going on in my life was a boy. I really doubt he will ever find this so I'm going to just use his name throughout. I am cringing already at how much space he has taken up in this post, but if I am to provide an accurate reflection of my year it is only fair that it corresponds to how much space he took up in my head. Don't worry, though (spoilers), he falls off for good about midway through.

January, February, and March

Yes, I am just going to go ahead and combine the first three months of the year into one subheading. That is the kind of year 2021 was. A lot of these winter month days felt like the same day on repeat. They passed by in a monotonous fog of work, stress, and running.

We begin with New Year's Eve. It... sucked, frankly. The pandemic restrictions were relatively strict at this time so nobody was throwing parties. I spent New Year's Eve with Alex, just the two of us at my place. His drinking prowess was questionable at best and yet he kept taking shots. Too many shots. He was violently throwing up in my bathroom mere minutes after the clock turned to midnight. He was embarrassed and wouldn't let me help. I had to just leave two sticks of gum and a glass of water on the edge of the sink and sit awkwardly in the hallway until he emerged and was okay. I tried not to sulk as I thought about the champagne I had excitedly purchased for us when he had asked me to spend the night together sitting in my fridge, untouched. The romantic New Year's Day sleep-in I had envisioned did not come, either. I cried the minute he left my house on January 1, wishing I had just gotten drunk off cab sauv with my friends on Zoom instead. I didn't say anything to him but quietly removed him from my social media and vowed that I'd do my best to move on in this new year. I went out on a whole bunch of random dates to try and make myself feel better. I went skating in Bowness Park with this total van-lifer guy who thought Shambhala was an underground, only-for-the-hardcore kinda festival. I still have scars on my ankles from that date because my skates didn't fit comfortably and I was wearing ankle socks. Anyways, I folded like a house of cards when Alex texted me two weeks later.

Things were strangely good after that. Good enough that I asked him to spend Valentine's Day together and he agreed, even said he was excited. What followed has got to be one of the biggest Ls I have ever taken in my dating life. I can laugh at it now but god damn, that shit was brutal. I meticulously planned this date. I bought lingerie, I went to the Italian market and bought nice ingredients and good wine for dinner, I got us prosecco and orange juice to have in the ski hill parking lot in the morning. When the day rolled around, there were so many red flags quite literally from the moment I woke up. He texted me to say he had a bit of a cold and was I okay with that if we were spending the day together? Should've known. On the drive up, he told me his friends had come by delivering cookies for "all their single buddies", should've known. He brought a handle of Fireball to the hill and demolished it and got weird and drunk and wouldn't even really wait for me on the slopes. Should've known. It wasn't until the very end of the night, like seconds away from sleep, that he said, "I just want to check that this is as casual for you as it needs to be for me." We had the most awkward and weird conversation. Just your classic, "well I'm not sleeping with anyone else either but I just am not ready for a relationship right now." I wanted him out of my house so badly but his skis were everywhere and he was drunk and it was too much work. I slept on the couch in my own damn house and then my stomach got upset from my meal I had made (he was somehow fine). In the morning, he got up at like 5am and left to go skiing with a friend. I remember coming out of my room later that morning and seeing the empty bottle of the nice wine I bought just sitting on my counter and having a split second urge to just smash it all over the floor. I texted him to end it a few days later.

A few non-boy related things did happen in this time period as well. Georgia took me on my very first trail run and it was instant love (also just cool to get to hang out with Georgia, she is amazing). I got to go to Fernie with Maddy for a weekend and the forecast was shit but then it surprised snowed 50cm overnight and we had the most dream ski day ever. I love Maddy with my whole heart.

April

I always look forward to April, it's my birthday month and the end of the academic year which always brings some relief with my job.

I got a bike for my birthday. It is a purple cruiser bike and it's so cute. I hosted a beer mile as my birthday celebration. Always been a bucket list item, I recruited some runners and some spectators and we went to Glenmore track to unleash the chaos. There were some actual runners training there when we arrived, we explained to them and their coach what we were planning and promised to stay out of their way and they said omg a beer mile! Can we watch? Of course I said yes. I projectile vomited all over the track after my third lap. A weird way to honour all of the time of my life I have spent at that track. It was so awesome... to run a beer mile but also to have friends who will support you and join you in running a beer mile. Other beer milers included Scott, Rie, Jon, Dylan, Emma, and Lucas. Honourable mention to the ad-hoc "Testosterone Mile" competitors, a last minute event that was thrown together by the boys who had been golfing all day and were certifiably in the bag at the time of the beer mile. Pukers include myself, Lucas, Matt, Josh, and Brodie. Godspeed and happy penalty laps to all.

I also got my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccination.

And as we have come to expect in this world, things imploded once again with Alex at the end of April. We reconnected, as you do when you're in a shitty weird situationship in a pandemic and instagram is a thing, in the middle of March. I wish I could say it would be the last time, but we are getting there, I promise. He had recently converted his SUV into a little camper van. On a random night at my place while I was lamenting about being stressed about my job, he suggested we go car camping in Waiparous. He said let’s have a fire, do some psychedelics, not have cell service. I was so excited. I haven’t ever really dated anyone who is all outdoorsy and who can just take care of a campsite like that and it was nice to just sit there and drink beers by the fire while he did everything. His little makeshift camper was actually really comfortable and warm despite it being April in Alberta. We dropped a tab of acid each and went mountain biking. We explored in the woods. We watched Inglorious Bastards on his laptop in the car and listened to weird music and fell asleep. It was actually kind of nice. But when he dropped me off at home after three days together, the weirdest feeling came over me. I felt this profound sense of sadness, and frustration, and fear. I feared that I still didn't know what was going on with us or if I'd ever see him again. I called him to ask and he ended up coming over to #have #the #conversation. I sobbed, like SOBBED the way you do when you’re in your room alone except he was right there witnessing it all. For like two hours and that is unfortunately not an exaggeration. It was a gross, heaving sobs, mascara-running-down-your-cheeks kind of crying. He even cried a little bit, too. It was bad. Shoutout to Kendal for being there for me on this day after he had gone, with the sugar cookies and the prosciutto and the nice Kleenex. Kendal is a good friend who hated this guy from day one and still managed to have compassion when I was devastated about us ending things.

May

May was rough, boys. At least work was dying down a bit, but I was experiencing the torrential type of sad girl hours I had not known since like, 2016. I really have to thank my friends during this time for looking out for me. I was feeling very lonely and sorry for myself. Maddy drove down from Banff for one night to take me to see Shrek at the drive-in movie theatre in the south of the city. Kendal was there for me so hard during this time, too. I feel the love. I also started taking CBD oil to help me with sleep. God bless you, CBD oil.

I was taking a professional development course on harm reduction and social work practice that was really cool.

On May 5, Karla texted me to let me know she and Laszlo had found a place and would be moving at the end of the month. I was unsurprised, given that she had not spent a night at our place since early October, but that also meant I needed to decide on some next moves. I’d known that my living arrangements were a little too-good-to-be-true for a long time but I was still sad to see it go. I decided that I was so accustomed now to living on my own that I didn’t want to chance things with a new roommate, especially one that my landlord would pick out, so I decided I’d just have to pay more and find a place for myself. That didn’t take too long though and I found my cute little studio/1bedroom place in Mission. Shoutout to my parents for helping me with the move, and stress, and last-minute planning.

May 1 also marked the beginning of GVRAT1000K season! My second GVRAT1000K challenge provided a much-needed distraction and a sense of purpose and a reminder of who the fuck I am during a time where I desperately needed those things. The timing worked out quite well. I did some great trail runs in May. Emma and I went out to Bragg Creek, I ran the Across the Nation Run in Isolation a second year in a row and ran a major personal best in my half marathon (under 2 hours for the first time ever!), and Emma, Rie, and I conquered Mount Aylmer as a run. It really truly helped.

The other thing that happened in May was my parents got a new puppy. He is a chihuahua, Pomeranian and Yorkie cross. His name is Rory. He is no Ollie, Ollie will always be number one in my heart and literally no dog can change that ever. He is cute and having a puppy around was also a pleasant distraction during this time of sad girl hours.

June

I moved into my apartment in Mission on June 1. We were in the middle of a crazy heat wave and the moving day was so stressful because Karla was also moving out and we had to coordinate all of the U-Hauls and moving trucks and boxes. It was weird to say goodbye to Capitol Hill Crescent. I lived there for a long time and I spent so much time there in this pandemic all by myself. It was like my little sanctuary for so long. I actually felt a lot more sad than I imagined I would that day.

Emma and I went on a little mini vacation to the mountains. We ran the Highline Trail and did a half marathon on Goat Creek Trail. We got cocktails at Park Distillery and aggressively hit on our server. We took a bunch of mushrooms and hiked Cascade Amphitheatre and also just hung out in town laughing our asses off in the hot tub at the hotel and on Tunnel Mountain. I got a $346 distracted driving ticket in Canmore.

I got my second dose of the Moderna vaccine on June 16 and god damn, that vaccine had no mercy. It took me out. A few hours post vaccine, I slipped into what I call the Moderna coma. I slept all afternoon and when I woke up all disoriented, I checked my phone and had a text from Alex. I literally thought I was hallucinating. It had been almost two months of zero contact. I was feeling so much better about it all. The text was so classic. “Hey, this thing made me think of you. I hope you’re doing well, you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to.” I……. replied. He said, "I hope you're enjoying your new place!" I said, "how did you know I moved?" He said, "Hinge listed you as my most compatible, it thinks we should give this another shot." I literally told him to stop fucking around and either ask for a second chance if that's what he wanted or leave me alone. He literally said, "please don't block me." God, I cringe.

I went to Saskatoon to visit my family which was such a wonderful time. I don’t often get to visit Saskatoon in the summer. We had a bocce ball tournament on Dodo’s acreage, I went for a run with my cousins on Meewasin trail, I bought new running shoes at Brainsport. The weather was beautiful and I just felt so lucky and happy to have the family that I do.

I’m honestly getting bored of this storyline even though I lived it but once we were both back in the same city, I talked to him on the phone. He caved, this time. He told me he missed me, he regretted how things ended. Told me he’d been biking by the river around the same time and place he knows I like to go running in the hopes we might run into each other. Told me he had resorted to creeping my Strava account to see what I was up to because I had him blocked on Instagram. Told me he’d told his friends about me and they’d encouraged him to shoot hit shot for another chance. It was very validating to hear from him in that moment and honestly, it felt good. He asked me on a date. He kept referring to it as “first date… kinda nervous.” It felt surreal. I told all my friends and I could practically feel everyone putting their heads in their hands like ughhhhh noooooooo.

July

July was a wonderful month of lots of trail running and hiking. Summer slow pitch also started back up which was the best because it had been delayed through the spring due to the pandemic.

In the middle of July, I went back out to Waiparous for a weekend to play in Survivor Waiparous Season 2: Rally to Return. I was invited to play via Kendal, her girlfriend’s friends were the ones who organized it and had played the first season last summer. In earlier pandemic days, Kendal and I had bingewatched it all over YouTube and she told Kate I wanted to play and then I was in. I didn’t really know what to expect but I definitely underestimated the legitimacy of how hardcore Survivor would be. I pulled up with many boxes of beer in my trunk, imagining there was no way I’d make it all that far and I could probably just get drunk by the fire for most of the weekend. I was… incorrect. Survivor Waiparous was extremely legit. We had buffs, tribes, idols, challenges, immunity tokens, torches… people were backstabbing and conniving and allies and enemies. It was actually weird how totally immersed I became into the game. It was hard at night to like, stop thinking about it. It’s worth sharing as well that I made it aaaaalmost to the finale, so that might have something to do with it. It was also just a wonderful weekend, I met so many lovely people and had such a good time. The weather was perfect. I had no cell phone service for four days and it was truly like a once in a lifetime kind of experience that you just feel so lucky to be a part of.

At the end of the month, me and Alex finally ended things for good. What had happened after our little reunion in June was that we hung out twice and then he went away to BC for a climbing trip that was supposed to last ten days. At first, I was pleasantly surprised. He made a concentrated effort to FaceTime me and I felt like hey, he’s really trying. Then ten days extended to two weeks, then three… I was trying not to get frustrated but all the same old anxieties and dread came back. When he finally came back, I remember he called me and I didn’t even pick up the call. He called me again and I answered and he said, “I was worried for a second you were done with my shit.” I was kind of done with his shit by then. He told me some story about another girl and I couldn't even bring myself to get jealous (extremely out of character pour moi). I remember telling Emma that I was pretty sure I needed to end it before we went on our trip in August because I didn’t want to have to worry about all of this while we were away. But it was, in the end, him who decided when that conversation would happen. I surprised myself because I didn’t even cry. I actually am really proud of how I handled that final conversation. I wasn’t mean, which I certainly can be when I’m defensive, but I stood up for myself. I made my boundaries clear. He was so shocked when I told him I’d block his number. I think he thought I was bluffing. I did block it, though, and I hooked up with someone else like… five hours after that conversation happened. And I have not spoken to or had any contact with him since. Which suggests to me that it was the right call. Goodbye and good riddance to you, sir.

HOWEVER, as a result of sleeping in my contact lenses after that 5-hours-post-breakup hookup, I got a corneal ulcer. It was so awful. I had to put in so many eyedrops and wear my glasses for like two weeks and go to the eye doctor like every three days. It ended up not being a big deal but I did have a literal hole in my cornea for a hot second there.

The last thing that happened in July was that Kendal returned back to Ottawa for her Master’s. It was an extremely sad moment and I burst into tears saying goodbye to her. She has been such an amazing friend and person through this pandemic, I truly don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it if it wasn’t for her and I will always be grateful when I look back on this time in both of our lives that we had eachother. I was happy for her to be able to go back to Ottawa to pursue her dreams and do all of her amazing stuff but that night at Ol’ Beautiful I cried and cried.

August

I was a little behind in the GVRAT at the beginning of August and so I was tasked with running/walking/hiking a 292km month in order to finish on time.

I spent ten days of August on the best fricking trip ever with Emma. We drove from Calgary to Squamish and then were staying at this hotel that doubled as a brewery. We obviously had to get beers upon our arrival, and some dude slid into my DMs on Instagram. We were in a #mood so we invited him and his friend to join us at the brewery and it unfolded into the most wild night even though Emma and I had driven twelve hours that day and gotten up at 4am. They took us to this cidery in Squamish and Caleb worked there so he got behind the bar and made us spicy margaritas. He took us to this bar called the Goat where we played Mario Kart and did tequila shots. We kept telling ourselves we just had to be back in bed by midnight in order to crush our planned trail run the next morning. I kissed Caleb next to the arcade games and we made plans to hang out again when Emma and I would return to Squamish the following week. I remember specifically being in the bathroom of this cidery and it was the kind of bar bathroom where people have written things all over the walls and I was obviously drunk so this is kind of cringe and cheesy to write but someone had written a message about being in the present moment and I just thought to myself I was so glad I didn't have to fuck with Alex anymore and could just enjoy all of the random things that were unfolding and I was like wow it really took me like 3 weeks to get fully over that and it was a really really good feeling.

Plus we ACTUALLY DID THE TRAIL RUN THE NEXT DAY even though it nearly killed us. We spent the first 5km in a sweaty silence until one of us was like, "this sucks" "yeah." But once we'd sweated out the margaritas, Garibaldi Lake was beyond gorgeous.

We spent the weekend in Tofino. We did a ton of mushrooms and went to the Tofino brewery and were so high and had no idea if the staff could tell or not (they probably could… they sat us at the couch table, after all). We ended up meeting some friends of Emma’s at a cocktail bar. We did more mushrooms and went back to our campsite to party on the beach. We found a full setup with a gas firepit and just decided to make it our own (mushroom ideas LOL), everyone sent Jordan and I to grab lawn chairs and propane and when we came back to the beach, the owners of the firepit had arrived. The guy introduced himself as “low rider J” and they were friendly but the vibe was not it so we kinda just did our own thing down the beach. We blasted Kygo and danced in the sand. These dudes from Ireland came over to hang out and the one guy was so drunk his friend had to take care of him and they were kind of hitting on Jordan and it was so, so funny. At the end of the night, it was clear that they thought we’d be hooking up with them but we did not do that and sent them in a taxi to their own campsite.

Lucas arrived in Tofino and we did many athletic things like running and biking and hiking. He pointed out constellations in the night sky and we ate salt and vinegar chips. It is so funny to think of how long I’ve known Lucas and how we were never really all that close until fairly recently. He tolerated 48 straight hours with me and Emma which is a feat so, good for you Lucas. I am happy to know you and to be your friend.

Emma and I spent a very dank night in Port Alberni on the way home. When we stopped in Squamish, we ran Panorama Ridge and then Caleb took us out for cocktails. It was the best kind of night, especially after you’ve crushed your number one bucket list trail run. He held my hand and we kept kissing at the bar and it was just like… hell yeah. He made me coffee in the morning and he put Kurt Vile on because he knew I liked him. I thought to myself how nice it was to spend time with someone, even if that time is so limited, who actually took care of you and wasn’t secretive about liking you. The two evenings I spent with Caleb showed me more dignity and respect than anything Alex ever did.

We departed Squamish and spent the last few days of our trip in Panorama with Emma’s parents and boyfriend. We played Exploding Kittens, drank prosecco, hiked Jumbo Pass and hung out in the hot tub. I finished my second GVRAT1000K. All in all – it was the best trip. Emma and I had so much fun, so many adventures, we laughed so hard and created so many memories.

September

We made a full return to the office in September and it was a wake up call and a half. I had to re-adapt to a) actually doing work, b) in-person appointments with clients, c) a fourty-hour work week and d) work apparel. I am much more productive when I'm in the office and the added social interaction infinitely improves my morale and my mood, so I am happy for the switch.

I was coasting off of a very high volume August and was probably in some of the best physical shape I've ever been in in my entire life at this point. I ran personal bests in my 5k, 10k, and half marathon. I ran a fricking 1:50 half marathon! Like, what?! I never in a million years would've thought that possible.

I also did a lot of dating in September. September was the first time I actually got to meet Bryan. I knew him (sort of) via Maddy because she's dating his best friend. She had mentioned to him about my running the GVRAT1000K and Bryan followed me on Strava earlier in the year. We were just distant Strava pals until he messaged me at the end of August to say he was coming to town and could we go for a drink? I said yes, and while our first date was lots of fun I remember walking away from it thinking wow, he's lovely, but he lives in Edmonton and I got more ~friend~ vibes anyway. Little did I know! I also met a few other great people in this time. I went on the most spectacular first date with a harm reduction paramedic where we drank by the river and then played We're Not Really Strangers and he left me a note that I read in the morning. It didn't work out with him for a number of reasons, which is fine, but I remember in that moment enjoying how much fun I was having just being confident in myself enough to date and be vulnerable and open with new people.

And in September I ran two races, the Castle Alpine Trail Race with Emma and Rie and the Calgary half-marathon. Both were highly emotional and happy experiences. I was terrified of the CAT but then suddenly I was on the course and I was having the time of my life. The adrenaline I felt when I realized I had reached the top of the ascent and could just enjoy flying down the hill to the finish line was unparalleled. And the Calgary marathon was an amazing experience too. To finally run an in-person race, to see my parents on the corner cheering me on and to run a 10k personal best in the middle of a half-marathon personal best... I felt on top of the world that day.

October

On Thanksgiving weekend, Emma and I ran the Grizzly ultramarathon in Canmore. 25 (well, more like 28)km each, and her parents and Rob came to watch and cheer us on. It was such a cool experience even though my legs were literally giving out on my second leg of the race. Canmore gifted us the most beautiful sunrise and the best weather for the race. Of course, we’ve signed up to do it again in 2022. These trail races get really addicting, honestly.

Following the Grizzly, I got super sick. I don’t know if it was like a post-ultra flu that then turned into something worse or what but I was out for an entire week of work which was terrible. I tested for COVID-19 twice because I had all the symptoms but it was negative both times. I literally spent a week almost entirely in bed. I know I put my body through a lot in these weeks but I have not been sick like that since early 2019, and even then it wasn’t this bad.

I was supposed to go to Ottawa to visit Kendal in October but then she contracted mono AND strep and thus my trip had to be cancelled. When my work learned I’d be in town instead of going to Ottawa on my trip dates, they asked me if I wanted to go to ASIST train-the-trainer. ASIST T4T is a five day intensive training program where they certify you to teach the ASIST method of responding to suicide to others. It’s been a dream and a big personal goal of mine to be an ASIST trainer since I got into working at the university so I said yes and got to spend a week in this course. It was really cool except for the fact that I got sexually harassed by the facilitator who used my personal cell phone number to send me inappropriate text messages late at night. And yes, I reported him to the Executive Director of the managing organization for ASIST in Alberta.

November

The first weekend in November, our slow pitch team got together to play in a “snow pitch” tournament out in Okotoks. What a mess but oh my god, so fun. Slow pitch has truly been one of the great joys of my last few years. I never expected to love it as much as I do, especially considering how bad I am. But to be out there on the diamond with my friends, blasting music and crushing beers and actually not sucking too bad… t’was so fun.

I then got sick again. Unsure if it was some kind of resurgence of the first sickness or an entirely new one but it took me out for another few days of work. I could literally see the infection on my tonsils. It was disgusting. Bryan was coming to town and we had planned a date that I was extremely excited for and I literally woke up with this infection all over my tonsils and was so frustrated about the timing I wanted to cry. I went to the walk-in clinic for antibiotics and admitted defeat. On Friday of that week, Bryan called me and made a last-minute proposal: I know you're sick but I want to see you, come up to Canmore and spend the night here if you want, my brothers are here, we're going to have some beers and play some games. I grabbed my penicillin and said SAY LESS and got in my car and blasted Message in a Bottle from the re-release of Taylor Swift's RED album like 100 times and it was an incredible night and really the turning point in my relationship with Bryan because I felt like I was finally experiencing what it is like to date somebody who takes care of you. In the big ways like making sure you are comfortable and healthy and happy but in the small ways like giving you his jacket when you're cold and making you coffee and just MAKING A GODDAMN EFFORT it was so attractive.

December

I can't really think of what to write for December.

I've taken a little bit of a running hiatus which I think has actually been healthy for me. It's interesting to see how the absence of stressors makes it easier for me to lay off the running a bit.

Work has slowed down quite a bit as it always does around exam season. It has been strange to navigate the anti-vaccination folks as part of my work. Just something that they never really could've predicted and therefore it's hard to know how to deal with it so we're all just kind of winging it. Like, yeah, honestly, they ARE kind of infringing upon your rights and freedoms but it's for the greater good and also the vaccine isn't going to kill you, you stupid idiots.

In Conclusion:

· While this year in review post seems to focus on the usual aspects of my life – boys and jobs and vacations and friends – we are still indeed living through a global pandemic that is having a profound effect on almost every aspect of our lives as we know it and will irreversibly shape the future. Sometimes, I wonder if I am too nonchalant when it comes to the pandemic. I wonder if I will look back on this post and think, really? That’s what I was so concerned about as this huge global event was taking place around me? But I also understand my avoidance of talking and thinking about the pandemic so much as a coping mechanism of sorts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m double (and soon to be triple) vaccinated, I mask up, I do the things. But ignorance is also bliss, and I think sometimes acknowledging the true impacts and threats of the pandemic to our lives is an overwhelming task. 2021 felt a bit more normal than 2020, I’ll give it that, but there are still so many unknowns.

· I achieved physical feats I never thought possible during this year and I owe it all to my own hard work and dedication. That feels very good to say. Falling in love with trail running and exploring the world of ultrarunning has really helped my confidence. These sports are not for the faint of heart. When my body shows me it is capable of these crazy ascents and races and being right there in it and the adrenaline is coursing through my veins, I feel so proud of myself.

· I got my heart broken this year. It sucked (but never as bad as the first one, of course). That was also a lesson… recognizing that you can pretty much get over anybody that you need to with the right attitude, time, patience, and having already been through a bad breakup. I also feel like I am mature enough to recognize the places where I messed up in this relationship and contributed to the dynamic. It’s not fair to say it is all his fault (it is… mostly his fault, though) and through being honest about those things, I have been more capable to be honest with people about what I want and to accept when they don’t want the same. I put myself out there a lot more with people than I used to and I am much more resilient to rejection.

· Aaaand I met Bryan this year which I really feel like is the universe being like okay, that last one was brutal... I think you've learned your lesson, here's the person you're actually supposed to be with. Go for it.

So, I think if I had to encapsulate 2021 into a lesson or a theme it would be the importance of asking for what you want and not being afraid of the consequences. Not just in romantic situations but with friendships, at your workplace, with your family. Not only does it force you to think about what it is you actually want out of your life but asking for it and getting it helps you realize that you actually deserve it. When I didn’t ask for what I wanted and went along with someone else’s needs, I got hurt. Even when I did ask for what I want and it didn’t work out, I was able to be proud of myself for going for it. We only have a limited time here in this world, don’t be shy about going after what you want and need.

2022:

There is much to look forward to in 2022. I am nervous about the challenges that a fifth wave and an in-person semester at the university will bring. I’m in a super healthy and happy relationship that also happens to be long distance… and I’m excited about where this is going to go but also recognizing this is new territory for me in a number of ways. I’ll find out if I have been accepted into graduate school and will potentially be starting, I get to see my best friend get married and be in the wedding party, I get to run Sinister fucking 7!!!!!, and I get to go watch World Athletics Championships for two weeks in July with my family. My brother will become a doctor (!) and will potentially have to move away for his residency... there's lots to imagine and probably also so many things I can't even begin to imagine. Such is life. :)

#year in review #2021

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btschooseafic · 3 years

Text

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Aviva and Hoseok celebrate their birthday at the dorm.

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. [9/2/21: some minor edits] [Masterlist]

Track 20: Birthdays

Birthday- The Beatles

“You say it's your birthday

It's my birthday too, yeah”

February 18th 2013

Aviva’s three-day suspension ended just before her birthday. Hobi suggested they both ditch and do something fun for the day, but she knew he was joking (mostly). He was in crunch time, really pushing to prepare for the debut, and she was eager to get back to work and do her best to support them.

It was a fairly normal day at work, with no one mentioning or treating her any differently because of the suspension. She was surprised when the office gave her a cake from Paris Baguette during her lunch break, even though it was a fairly standard policy, she had thought they might want to exclude her this time.

After work, Aviva went for out for a late dinner with Soonyoung. She stopped back at the office to pick up some paperwork, and was surprised to see the van still in the parking lot. Jin had offered to drive the boys back, so why were they still here? She went to the Bangtan Room and found them...

“Are you filming a Harlem Shake video?” She wondered, having walked in on a strange number of poses. Everyone froze. Namjoon blushed.

“Yep.” Hoseok tipped the brim of his cap away from his face to grin at her. “You’ll edit it and post it before the night ends, right?”

“What? No way.”

“But it’s my birthday!” He whined.

“But it’s my birthday!” She whined back at him. Everyone laughed.

“Won’t you bake me a cake at least?” Hoseok asked, pouting at her.

“Hmm…” She glanced at her phone. “It’s getting late. Anyway, didn’t the company give you one?”

“Yeah, but yours are better!”

“Paris Baguette is pretty good, I think...” But she was smiling.

“Why don’t you hang out with us, noona?” Jimin suggested. “We were gonna watch a movie at the dorm after this.”

“I can make extra popcorn!” Jin said excitedly.

“I don’t really care about popcorn… but, maybe I will hang out,” she thought. “Let’s head back to the dorm, okay?”

Jimin, Jin, and Hoseok cheered.

She texted Soonyoung to let her know, and then got to work baking a cake. They ate cake and popcorn as they watched Hoseok’s favorite movie (which also happened to be a favorite of Aviva’s). Aviva found herself on the floor leaning against Yoongi’s legs, with Jimin and Tae snuggled on either side of her. At some point Jungkook migrated his head onto her lap with his legs sprawled over Jimin. Yoongi and Namjoon and fallen asleep curled up in the corner of the couch, while Hoseok stretched out with his feet in Jin’s lap.

As the movie came to an end, Jin stood up and started to clean. Aviva tried to move to help him, but was weighed down by three growing boys.

Jin waved his hand. “Just let them rest for a few more minutes. Hoseok-ah can help me clean.”

“But it’s my—” Hoseok stopped at a sharp look from Jin. “Yeah, okay, hyung.”

“Hmmm, are you sleeping on the couch again, Aviva-yah?” Yoongi wondered, rubbing his eyes as the boys started heading off to bed.

“Yeah. I already pulled the blanket out.”

He nodded. “Do you need clothes to sleep in?”

“Damn.” She snapped her fingers. “I knew I’d forgotten something.”

“You can sleep in my clothes, noona!” Jimin said. Everyone looked at him suspiciously.

“You sound very… enthusiastic about that, Jiminie,” Namjoon commented.

“No, I just…” Jimin blushed. “I just thought she’d look cute…”

Aviva smiled apologetically. “Sorry, Jiminie, but there’s no way I’d fit into your clothes. You’re too skinny.”

He frowned. “I’m not.”

Aviva ran her hand through her hair. “Maybe skinny isn’t the right word…”

“She means she’s got a chest and hips and you don’t,” Hoseok said.

“Yah!” Jin hit his arm. “Don’t talk about her like that!”

“What?” Hoseok looked at him. “I thought I put that very politely. Anyway, with an elastic waistband, she’d fit in mine, Yoongi, or Tae Tae’s pants likely.” He looked around at them. “Rock, paper, scissors for it?”

Yoongi shrugged. Taehyung nodded, holding up his fist.

“Wait a second,” Aviva said. “Isn’t anybody going to ask me what I want?”

“What do you want, Avi-yah?” Yoongi asked, looking at her steadily.

She froze, her face going pink.

“Ah, never mind,” she said quietly. “I don’t… I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. Maybe I should just go home…”

“No, it’s too late to be driving,” Namjoon told her. “Anyway, you’re never an inconvenience, you’re our friend. We’ll take care of it, okay?”

“…You’re just saying that cause you know your shirts are the only one she fits in,” Jimin muttered. Hoseok tapped his chin.

“Actually, because they prefer a baggy fit, Yoongi-hyung’s sweaters, and some of Jin-hyung’s tops would work,” he thought. Namjoon looked at them.

Yoongi shrugged again. “I don’t care. This is stupid.”

“I agree,” Jin said. “…But I do kind of want to see Avi-yah in pink.”

Yoongi snorted. “Obviously she’d look better in white,” he thought.

“I think black,�� Namjoon said. Hoseok nodded.

“Two rounds of rock, paper, scissors it is.”

Aviva turned to Jungkook. “Aren’t you still growing? If we end up the same size I’m only borrowing your clothes and staying away from this nonsense.”

Jungkook shrugged. “I don’t care. We all share everything anyway.”

Aviva ended up wearing Hoseok’s sweatpants and Namjoon’s baggiest Supreme shirt.

February 19th 2013

In the morning she turned over, glancing at her phone. It was fifteen minutes before her alarm was set to go off, so she decided to get up early. She went to the bathroom and washed her face, pulled her hair up, and then went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

“Avi-yah?” Taehyung squinted at her sleepily.

“Mmm. Morning Tae. Are you waking up?”

“Hmm…what time is it?” He glanced at the clock on the wall and shook his head. “No, I think I’ll sleep a little more, just need the bathroom... you’re waking up?” She nodded, shivering a bit. It had gotten weirdly cold over night. He looked at her thoughtfully. “Want to borrow a sweater? I bet I have one that’ll fit you too.”

“…Okay.”

He smiled. “Great. One second.” He went to the bathroom and then moved over to the closet, pulling out a large green cardigan. “Is this texture okay?” He asked, knowing she didn’t like things that were either too soft or too scratchy. He held it out to her and she ran her fingers over it.

“Just right.”

“Hmm.” He smiled again. “Let me help you.” He motioned at her.

“I can put it on myself.”

“Want to help you.”

She sighed and got down from the stool at the counter, letting him manipulate her into the sweater like she was a giant doll.

“Thanks.”

“Later.” He kissed her cheek and walked off, yawning. She stared after him for a moment and then shook her head, settling back down on the couch and pulling out her laptop.

Just as she was finishing editing Hoseok’s video, she got a message from her sister.

‘Hey, u ok?’

‘Yeah. Y?’

‘… u forgot, didn’t you?’

Aviva tilted her head, trying to remember what she had forgotten. Oh! She was supposed to be on a Skype call with her family for her birthday. She glanced at the time. She had long enough to speak to them for a while before everyone woke up and got ready for the day. She clicked through some settings and made the call. Her parents and her sister were sitting on the couch in their living room, Jen’s arms crossed over her chest as she pouted.

“I can’t believe you forgot about your own birthday call!” Jenny said.

“Yeah, hello to you too, Jen,” Aviva said. Jenny huffed. Their mother smiled.

“It’s good to see you,” she said. “You look... cozy. Is that a new sweater?” Aviva touched the cardigan.

“Ah, no, it’s not mine, I’m just borrowing it cause it’s cold in here,” she told them.

“Where are you?” Her dad wondered, his eyes searching. “It doesn’t look like your apartment.”

“It’s the boys’ dorm. I… was editing a video,” she said vaguely.

“Oh, is JK there?” Jenny wondered, looking around excitedly.

“Hmm, he’s probably not awake yet,” she told her.

“Ah, too bad,” their mother said. “He was such a polite young man. And handsome too!”

“Mom!” Jenny said, her face flushing. Their mom just grinned. Their dad shook his head.

“What video are you editing?” He wanted to know.

“Um, just another meme one,” she told him. “I don’t know if you’d understand…”

“I still don’t understand what a meme is,” he muttered, rubbing his chin.

“Yeah, and I keep trying to explain it to you,” Jen said, shaking her head. The three of them talked for about fifteen more minutes before the door opened, and a sleepy Yoongi wandered in. His hair was impressively mussed, and his eyes were barely open. He was hugging his laptop to his chest.

He automatically went to sit on the couch, almost sitting on top of Aviva.

“Ah, oppa, I’m on a call, sorry!” She called out in Korean. He froze, and then slowly looked at the screen. His face flushed.

“Hello,” he said awkwardly in English, bowing.

“Um, guys, this is one of the group members, Yoongi,” she told her family.

“Oh, if he’s awake does that mean JK is awake?” Jen reasoned.

“Probably not,” Aviva thought. She looked at Yoongi, who appeared frozen in his bow. She nudged him. “It’s fine,” she told him in Korean. “You didn’t do anything wrong. These are my parents and my sister.” She pointed them out.

He straightened up and waved.

“I can’t… I’m not awake enough for this,” he muttered in Korean. “I just wanted to get some editing done, I forgot you were here…”

“Is anyone else awake?” She wondered. “They can come say hi if they want before I sign off. Jen would really like to see Kookie.”

“Hmmm. I’ll wake him,” Yoongi said reluctantly. “But you owe me coffee.”

“Sure,” Aviva said, not really caring. “Just don’t go back to sleep, oppa, it’s almost time to get ready to go anyway.”

“No promises.” He left the room.

“…He’s cute,” Jen decided. “Not as cute as JK, but…” Aviva snorted.

For the next ten minutes, various members drifted in and out to say ‘hello’ with Jungkook staying the longest.

Namjoon was excited for the opportunity to practice his English, although a lot shyer than he usually was when he practiced with Aviva.

“Is it true you learned from watching Friends?” Jen wondered.

Namjoon nodded. “Ah. Yes. Good T.V. show.”

“Avi!” Hoseok said, poking his head through the door. “Seokjin-hyung wants to know if you want an egg or toast or something.”

“I’ll take whatever,” she called back to him, glancing at the time again. “Ah, we should get ready.” She smiled apologetically at the screen.

“Okay,” Jen said. “Have a good day at work, Avi—practice hard, JK!”

“Yes, I will!” Jungkook said happily in English. “Thank you!”

“Nice to meet you, Namjoon, and good to see you again, Jungkook,” their mother said. Namjoon and Jungkook bowed.

“I will send you that article, Avi,” her dad said.

“Okay, baba, thanks!” She signed off and sighed. “I don’t want to read that article…”

“I thought it sounded interesting,” Namjoon said. She frowned.

“You read it, then.” She yawned. “I want to take a shower before we leave… are there clean towels?”

“I’ll find one for you, noona!” Jungkook said, running off, still buzzing with energy from having seen Jen.

“…He really might become your younger brother some day,” Namjoon thought.

She smiled. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Later that week, Kyungsoo finally called her into his office to lecture her about Namjoon’s song Expensive Girl song. Aviva did her best to smooth over any backlash from him and random Internet commenters, but it was a lot of work.

As their punishment, Aviva had Namjoon alone on dorm cleaning duty for the whole week, and assigned Hoseok to extra public speaking lessons.

She came to the dorm to pick Hoseok up for his lessons and found him cleaning. She squinted at him as he froze in the position of sweeping the entryway.

“Hobi… don’t tell me you two switched?”

“Okay…” He said. “I won’t tell you.”

She sighed. “Hoseok, it’s not a punishment if it’s something you enjoy doing. I know you secretly find cleaning relaxing, and Namjoon-ah finds the public speaking lessons fascinating.”

“Hmm. And that’s the problem.” He booped her on the nose, laughing as it wrinkled. “You know us too well, dear manager.”

“Just go wait in the car,” she told him. “I’ll have to speak to Namjoon-ah before we go.” She looked around. Hoseok pointed his thumb behind him.

“He’s in the living room.”

Aviva shivered as she entered the room. Namjoon was on the couch, holding something like a hockey mask in front of his face as Yoongi, who was sitting at the table, curled over laughing. She couldn’t help smiling, pausing in the doorway for a moment before stepping inside. She shivered again.

“You still haven’t gotten the heater fixed?”

Namjoon froze. “Ah, Avi-yah.” He put the mask down, his face going pink. “No. We couldn’t find anyone to come look at it, so I tried, and I think I made it worse.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Hmmm.” Aviva walked over to the heater, pulling off the top. “I think I can do this. The toolbox is in the bathroom closet, right?”

“Yeah, um. I could go get it for you…” His brow furrowed. “Are you sure you can do it?” She nodded.

“Pretty sure. I helped Soonie’s grandpa fix the heater at their place, and it looked pretty similar to this one.”

Namjoon nodded and left.

“A girl who knows her way around the toolbox… that’s kind of hot,” Yoongi thought, leaning back as he studied her. She raised an eyebrow at him. He flushed slightly. She walked over to him and ran her fingers over his soft fluffy hat, her lips twitching. He stiffened. “What’re you doing?”

“You look adorable,” she told him. His cheeks flushed even pinker.

“I thought you didn’t like soft things?” He grumbled, grabbing her hand and pulling it away from his hat.

She shrugged. “I couldn’t resist.”

He shook his head, smiling slightly.

“What are you doing over here, anyway?”

“Dropping Hobi off at his classes,” she told him. “There’s a nice cafe around there—want me to pick up anything for you?”

“Hmmm…” He played with her fingers for a moment before letting go, turning back to the computer. “I’ve been thinking, since you were technically off duty when Namjoon-ah posted that song… doesn’t that mean it’s not really your responsibility?”

“I’m still your manager, oppa, even if I was… suspended, at the time.” She rested her hand on her hip, studying him. “Are you saying I shouldn’t punish them?” He shook his head.

“No, I don’t really care about that. I just don’t want you creating more work for yourself than necessary.”

She smiled softly at him. “Yoongi—”

There was a loud crash. A moment later, a red-faced Namjoon rushed into the room.

“Okay, so I may have dropped the toolbox, and everything is everywhere, but I don’t think anything’s broken!”

“Aish, Joonie.” Aviva clicked her tongue, shaking her head. “I’ll clean it up—ah, but I can’t leave Hoseok-ah waiting in the car for so long…”

“Hosekie can take the train,” Yoongi said. “Namjoon-ah and I will help you clean up.” Aviva nodded.

“Thanks, oppa. Hobi better not skip his class.”

“Oh, I’ll make sure he doesn’t.” Yoongi grinned evilly. Namjoon shivered.

“Chen Aviva!” Hoseok sang out as he entered the kitchen.

“Huh?” She looked up at him from the sink. “How did you know I was still here?”

“I have my ways…”

She turned around, frowning as she noticed him staring at her.

“What?”

“You look really hot right now, like, figuratively, but also literally, what were you doing to get so sweaty?”

She glanced down at herself. She had stripped down to her undershirt, which was soaked through with sweat.

“I fixed the damn heater, but then it got too hot and I had to adjust it again before it killed Yoongi-oppa’s equipment and he killed me in revenge.”

“So… it’s okay now?” He wondered. She nodded.

“Finally, it’s okay. I’m gonna borrow your shower, I just needed to clean my hands off first and the bathroom sink is kind of… There was like… grease?” She shook her head. “I don’t know, Joonie did something weird.”

Hoseok nodded absentmindedly. “Well, after you get out of the shower, you can eat this.” He held a paper bag out to her. She peeked inside, her eyes widening as she smiled.

“How did you know?”

“Yoongi-hyung mentioned there was a cafe near my classes you liked, and so we Instagram stalked you to find where it was and what you like to get there.”

“That’s creepy, but also sweet,” she thought. “How did your lessons go?”

“Not as bad as I thought they would be, actually. I’m gonna start beating Joon at public speaking, next thing you know.”

“I don’t think it’s a competition, but I’m still proud of you.” She gave him a peck on the cheek on her way out.

Over the next few weeks, a few of Namjoon’s freestyles, as well as one of his and Yoongi’s collaborations had gotten Aviva thinking about the draft. Namjoon and Hoseok, having just turned twenty were eligible candidates and were required to take physical exams. Afterwards, they went out for drinks with Jin, Yoongi, Aviva, and Soonyoung. Aviva was trying to understand more about it, but it just wasn’t clicking for her.

“I don’t think it’s something you can really understand without growing up here,” Yoongi said.

“You’re probably right,” Aviva thought.

“Hmmm. You don’t have anything similar in the US?” Hoseok wondered.

“There hasn’t been a draft in the US since the Vietnam War,” Aviva told him. “I do remember my dad talking about how much anxiety it caused him and his friends. And my mom was worried about her brother when she was growing up.”

“Hmm, yeah. America has a lot of issues, but that’s not one of them, currently,” Soonyoung said. She sipped her drink. “Like, we could totally talk about the socioeconomic and racial aspects of US Army recruitment, but that’s a somewhat different problem.” Namjoon stared at her. “The system is majorly flawed, dude.”

“Most systems are,” Yoongi thought. He looked at Aviva. “But why are you bringing this up?”

“You’re right it’s not something I can personally understand. But… I see it’s stressing you out, so… I’m here, if you need me.” She looked around at the others. “For all of you, I mean.”

“Yah, that’s nothing special, Avi’s always been there for me,” Soonyoung said, wrapping her arms around the other girl possessively.

“Hmm, but that’s because you’re special to her, which must mean we’re special to her as well!” Jin reasoned cheerfully.

Soonyoung smiled at him. “Aren’t you sweet?”

Jin blushed. Everyone laughed.

#bts #fanfiction #jung hoseok #min yoongi #kim namjoon #bts world #bts predebut #idolverse #manager!oc #bts x oc #bts fanfiction

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mazenhassoun · 3 years

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ISIS Has Left the Syrian City of Raqqa, but Its Landmines Continue to Maim and Kill This article was originally published on The Global VoicesMazen Hassoun – 12 February 2018For nearly four years, between 2013 and 2017, Syria’s Raqqa city remained under the control of one of the bloodiest jihadist groups of this century: ISIS, also known as ISIL, Daesh, and Islamic State.During its reign, ISIS forced inhabitants of the city, which it had declared to be the capital of its “caliphate,” to follow its extreme rules. Those who disobeyed were killed by crucifixion or other brutal methods of public execution.In October 2017, after a four-month-long battle, the Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) — a US-backed alliance of Kurds, Arabs, Assyrians and other groups — managed to take control of the city and drive ISIS out. The retaking of Raqqa reportedly included an agreement between SDF and ISIS through which ISIS fighters and their families would be allowed safe passage to Deir Ezzor in Syria’s east, according to the BBC.But despite the group’s defeat in Raqqa, ISIS wasn’t finished with inflicting damage on the city’s population. As one ISIS fighter told civilians before withdrawing from the city, “The land will fight for us”.One of the ways “the land” is “fighting” for ISIS is through landmines.Speaking to Global Voices over the phone, Abu Fares, a 53-year-old man who lost two of his sons to landmines planted by ISIS, said in a voice full of sorrow:When the SDF and the international coalition attacked the city, we were forced to leave. However, we couldn’t leave at the beginning of the fight, because ISIS used us as human shields. I lost one of my sons while we were trying to flee the city in the Shahdah district when a landmine exploded.Abu Fares lost his second son a month after the battles were over:A month after the battles ended we were allowed to return to our homes. I sent one of my sons to check our home near the clock roundabout, but when he arrived, the landmines were waiting for him in front of the house’s door”.A total of 220 civilian have been killed and dozens have been injured in Raqqa since the SDF victory due to mines planted by ISIS, according to a member of “Raqqa is Being Slaughtered Silently”, a group of local activists who document violations in the city.When operation “Wrath of Euphrates“, the codename for the anti-ISIS operation, started in November 2016, ISIS began to plant a large number of mines to prevent SDF forces from advancing towards Raqqa. But rather than hit their intended targets, these landmines often killed civilians fleeing the battles.The explosive devices have also killed several SDF fighters, including British volunteer Oliver Hall who lost his life months ago while he was clearing the mines. As of the time of writing, the SDF has yet to announce the number of fighters killed due to these mines.A voluntary organization called “Roj” (short for Rojava, a region in northern Syria and western Kurdistan) is working in the city on removing thousands of mines with the help of Raqqa’s Civil Council and international organizations. “The number of unexploded ordnance in Raqqa is something that we never seen before”, UN assistant secretary general Panos Moumtzis told news agency Reuters in February 2018.But that work isn’t happening fast enough for some residents. Amira, 35 years old, told Global Voices that she had to pay 50,000 Syrian pounds (approximately 100 US dollars) to a private person to clear the mines in her house after the organizations working to clear them in the area rejected her request, saying that her neighborhood’s turn hasn’t come yet.She said she had to return to Raqqa after initially fleeing because of the terrible living conditions in the camps in the north for internally displaced people:ISIS planted mines everywhere, under beds, among the rubble, inside fridges and wash machines even inside an electric lamp experts found a mine.According to residents, the Al-Tayar, Al-Mishlab and Al-Darriah neighborhoods were the only residential districts that have been completely cleared of landmines so far.The process of de-mining in Raqqa is going very slow because of the lack of funds and resources available to the Civil Council. This situation is forcing civilians to return to their unsafe homes, causing regular casualties in a city that has already suffered under ISIS occupation for nearly four years.

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theycallmebeccawrites · 5 years

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Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 19

Hello lovelies! I hope you are all doing well! This episode has been a long time coming and I had hoped to have it done back in July... but hey, it’s not October yet! 👍 I hope to get the next episode out sooner than later (it’s a half episode, so that shouldn’t be too hard 🤞).

Thanks to @nomadicpixel @heather-lynn @alievans007 and @mrs-captain-evans for their support on this chapter.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: angst, broken heart

Episode Summary: Ellie dealing with the aftermath of Chris leaving in the middle of the night.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This episode can also be read on AO3.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological. It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future. However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 18

Episode 19: The Aftermath

April 2014

A cold, wet noise to the ear forced Ellie out of her dream world into the world of consciousness. Groaning, she brushed Daisy away from her, but that only made the dog whimper pathetically.

"Chris will let you out," Ellie told the dog. When there was no response from Chris's side of the bed, she opened an eye and glanced at the clock on her side of the bed. Not believing that it was 8:30, like the clock displayed, she opened her second eye and blinked. But the numbers didn't change.

Pushing herself up, Ellie looked at Chris's side of the bed and noticed that the blankets were thrown haphazardly, like he'd sprung out of bed in a hurry. She tried to recall if he'd said he had a meeting that morning, but nothing came to mind. Then again, it was possible he had forgotten about his meeting too and had decided not to wake her up to tell her he was leaving.

Daisy whimpered again and Ellie sighed. "Ok, let me grab some clothes," she told the dog. Climbing out of bed, she went to the dresser where her stuff was in one of the drawers and grabbed a shirt and a pair of sweats. If she were in the guesthouse, she would have just let Daisy out without bothering to put clothes on, but she didn't want to risk giving anyone a show if Chris brought someone home with him.

Once dressed, she led Daisy down the stairs and out the patio door off the living room since it was the closest. Chris had spoiled her the last couple weeks, letting her sleep in a bit by taking Daisy out in the morning when he got up to do his first work out of the day.

Leaving the door open for Daisy to return, Ellie went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Then she filled Daisy's water and food bowls before she made her own breakfast. She couldn't help but wonder what Chris's early morning errand could be and thought about texting him, but decided not to. She had a feeling that if he had left in a hurry, as it appeared, it was likely he'd also forgotten to silence his phone and the last thing she wanted to do was interrupt a meeting.

After eating, Ellie went back upstairs to take a shower and get dressed for the day. She figured she'd get as much done as possible while Chris was gone so she could spend time with him when he got back. Assuming he hadn't slipped back into his fog again. She shook the thought and the negative feelings associated with it off, choosing to focus on the good instead of the bad. Hoping to remain positive, Ellie went through her mental to do list while she showered and by the time she was finished, she knew how she was going to tackle the day.

Twenty minutes later, she left Chris's bedroom dressed for the day in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Knowing that he would likely need to do laundry before he packed, she started her day in the laundry room, folding a load of towels she'd done the day before and starting a new load. Then she put the guest bathroom towels in there before she carried the ones for Chris's bathroom into his room.

It was as she was putting the towels away under the sink, in Chris's bathroom, that she got the feeling that something was different, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She tried to shake it off as nothing as she cleaned the bathroom, but it kept nagging her until she gave in and opened the cabinet again. The towels, hand towels and washcloths were all where they were supposed to be. The bin where Chris's travel stuff went was there, too.

But it was empty, she realized.

It wasn't supposed to be empty. She had just restocked the stuff herself the other day per Chris's request.

Her breakfast felt like lead in her stomach as she moved to Chris's drawers. She hadn't invaded his privacy previously, but she knew where he kept his toiletry bag because she had watched him pack back in February. She opened the bottom drawer and let out a shaky breath when her fear was confirmed. It was gone, too.

Leaving from the bathroom, she made a beeline for his closet and threw open the door, only to freeze in the doorway when she saw the state of it. Hangers were tossed haphazardly on the floor and his laundry hamper had been tipped upside down to take his favorite things with him. His suitcase, that was usually housed on the top shelf of the closet, was gone, too.

He had left.

And he hadn't said goodbye.

Part of her wanted there to be a simple explanation, like Marvel needing him on set early or a family emergency. Her gut, however, told her that he would have said goodbye to her in either of those situations.

The truth of the matter was that he had been acting weird since he'd returned from his two weeks away in February. They'd had great moments together since then, but they had been few and far between, especially during the last couple of weeks.

He'd warned her that he got stuck in his own head sometimes and she'd given him the benefit of the doubt that he would snap out of it. That they'd get passed this rough spot and be stronger for it. But now it seemed like he had abandoned ship and left her high, dry and all by herself.

As the emotional toll of the last few weeks started to catch up with her, a tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it off, but didn't bother with the ones that followed. Almost blindly, she left Chris's room, slamming the door shut with more force than necessary. She picked up Daisy, who had been laying down on her dog bed in the living room, and carried her out to the guest house.

After setting the dog on the bed, Ellie pulled off her jeans and then laid down. It was only there, in the safety of her room that she let herself breakdown completely. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore and then she fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

It wasn't until later that Ellie woke up with Daisy snuggled up against her. She wasn't sure what had woken her up until her phone dinged again with the custom text alert tone she'd assigned to Scott's number.

Suddenly, a new theory crossed her mind, that he was with Chris and they had rushed back to Massachusetts for a family emergency. But Scott's messages, one telling her that he wasn't coming home that night as previously planned, and the second, telling her to have fun tonight, shot that theory to hell. But raised an interesting fact: Scott didn't know that Chris was gone.

Ellie laid in her bed wondering what that meant for herself and Chris until Daisy starting whining. Glancing at the clock, Ellie saw that it was practically dinner time. She let Daisy out to do her business and then pulled on a pair of ratty sweatpants she found in the back of her dresser. Her favorite clothes were still in Chris's room or in the laundry room, she'd have to get them eventually, but not tonight.

While Daisy ate her kibble, Ellie made herself a sandwich and ate it in the nearly silent house. It was eerily similar to how she and Daisy had spent the last few nights even when Chris had been home. He'd been so lost in his own head, but he had been there with her despite that. Now it was just her and Daisy and the house felt sad and empty.

Before returning to the guesthouse for the night, Ellie made sure the house was locked up and then she grabbed a pint of ice cream from the freezer. A pint of Chris's special ice cream that he had shipped from Massachusetts. It wasn't as good as the Tillamook ice cream she'd been raised on, but it wasn't bad and she'd enjoy every single bite.

Not in the mood to watch drama or comedy, Ellie chose a cooking competition show on TV and watched it while she ate her ice cream. Daisy curled up at her side and was fast asleep before the end of the first episode.

Eventually, Ellie turned off the TV and tried to go back to sleep, but her mind wouldn't shut up. She wondered if she should text Chris, but decided no. He was the one who'd left, after all. Then there was the fact that he hadn't told his brother he was leaving either. Maybe he really did just need time to work through whatever had been plaguing his mind. With her own mind settled on that positive thought, Ellie was finally able to fall asleep.

Choosing, however naively, to believe that Chris would contact her soon, Ellie didn't say anything to Scott about the situation when he returned the next day and attempted to act like nothing was wrong. The fact that Scott was working and she'd picked up extra shifts at the bookstore meant that they were sometimes two ships passing in the night during the days that followed. There were times, however, that she felt him watching her, but he always looked away when she glanced in his direction.

Scott had known something wasn't right the moment he'd walked into the house, but it had taken him a few days to figure out what was bothering him. Then he figured it out one day when he through the kitchen and found Ellie making herself lunch: she wasn't happy. Sure, she acted happy and smiled, but it never reached her eyes. The few times he saw a genuine smile from her was when she was playing with Daisy, but even then, he saw her gather the dog up and bury her face in her pet's fur, hugging her like a child would hold a teddy bear.

Not wanting to stir up a bee’s nest, Scott didn't text Ellie's sister Izzy to find out if she knew what was going on. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Ellie more than she already was or face her wrath for talking to her sister about her and Chris.

For the first two weeks that Chris was gone, Scott just assumed that Ellie was sad because she missed his dope of a brother. All that changed, however, when he got a text from Chris asking him if Ellie was ok. Scott's first instinct was to reply to Chris and assure him that Ellie was fine, but he stopped himself from sending the message as his brain caught up with what his subconscious had picked up on from the start. Something had happened between Chris and Ellie before his brother had left town.

Wanting to get to the bottom of what was going on, Scott went in search of Ellie and was surprised when he found her in the living room reading. As of late, if she wasn't in the kitchen, she was in the guesthouse. He'd even noticed that she had vacated Chris's office completely. He'd ignored both facts before, but now everything was coming together in his brain and the realizations were starting to worry him.

“Hey,” he greeted her casually as he entered the room. “Is everything ok?”

“I think so,” Ellie replied just as casually. Too casually, in his opinion.

“Are you sure? Because you’ve been acting oddly,” he said, watching her face closely and noticing for the first time, that she didn't meet his eye when she spoke to him. That wasn't normal.

“It’s nothing, Scott,” Ellie lied, her face a blank slate which told him more than she probably meant to.

“It’s not nothing, because Chris has noticed, too,” Scott stated. The instant he said his brother’s name, Ellie’s whole demeanor changed and she went stiff. “Ok. What’s going on?”

Silence fell between them and it wasn't broken until he said, "Ellie, come on. Talk to me."

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Ellie finally answered in a tone that was frighteningly calm. “And it’s impossible for your brother to know anything when I haven’t heard from him since before he left.”

“Wait,” Scott said, dumbfounded. When he'd left to give them some time alone, everything had been fine. Or so he'd thought. Chris had been in training mode, but they'd both seemed happy-ish. “What do you mean you haven’t heard from him?”

“Your brother left early,” Ellie replied and held up a hand when Scott made to interject. “And no, I don’t think he was called in because he left in the middle of the night.”

In a state of disbelief, Scott sank down into one of the arm chairs as he tried to process what Ellie was telling him. “What happened?” He asked. “Did you guys have a fight?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Ellie told him and it was only as she spoke again that her emotions began to crack through the wall she had put up. “We had sex, fell asleep and then I woke up alone in his bed.”

“Did he leave a note? A text? Anything?”

Ellie shook her head.

Scott couldn't wrap his head around the information as he glanced in her direction and his felt his heart start to break at what he saw. The stoic Ellie that had been walking around the house for the last two weeks was crumbling before his very eyes. She was blinking back tears and he could see her jaw quivering.

“Oh, Ellie,” he said, standing up and holding his arms out to her. She came to him as the first tears rolled down her cheeks and she buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

They stood there in silence for several minutes until she seemed to gain control of her tears enough to talk some more.

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” He asked her. “Your sisters? Phoenix?”

Ellie shook her head. She sniffed and said, “I didn’t know what was going on and I didn’t want to make a big deal out of things if...” She stopped talking as her body shook with emotion again.

“I’ll talk to Chris,” Scott told her. “I’ll figure -”

“No!” Ellie said firmly and shook her head. “I’m not putting you in the middle of this.”

“He already did,” Scott pointed out.

Ellie shook her head again and said, “I was mad at Sydney before this whole thing went down and I haven’t talked to her in nearly a month. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s killing me.” She shook her head a third time. “So no, I won’t get between you and your brother.”

“But -"

“No buts,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks as she took a deep breath, steadying herself, but her words still came out broken every now and then with attempts to control her emotions. “Your brother is the o-one that left. And h-he texted you, not m-me. So clearly h-he has made his decision th-that he and I are f-finished. We have t-to honor th-that.”

Scott wanted to argue that she was the best thing that had ever happened to his brother, but he could tell that there was nothing he could say or do to change her mind. “What do you want me to tell him?” He asked.

“Tell him I’m fine, good, better than ever,” Ellie suggested, summoning her inner strength to keep from losing it again. She felt emotionally and physically drained. “I think I’m going to go bed. Come on, Daisy.”

Scott watched them leave the room before he slumped back into the chair he had abandoned earlier. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Ellie was going through right now because even his heart was breaking over this and he had just been a bystander.

A part of him wanted to jump on a plane and go kick his brother’s ass for making Ellie cry, but the rational part of him knew that it wouldn’t help matters. If he wanted to do something to fix whatever had gone wrong, he needed to know what had happened on Chris’s end.

Instead of texting his brother back, Scott went up to his bedroom and called him, but it went straight to voicemail. Instead of leaving a message, he hung up and sent Chris a text asking him to call when he could.

Without a shadow of a doubt, Scott knew that Chris and Ellie belonged together. He’d spent enough time with them together and separately to know that Ellie was the woman his brother had been waiting for. Ellie might be willing to let it all go, but Scott wasn’t.

Episode 19.5

Want to find me off tumblr? I'm @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

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bambigoose · 5 years

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Doing Just Fine

An: This has been edited after posting. Thank you to those that reached out to help me correct the ranking changes throughout the story.

Hanscom Air Force Base, Massachusetts 2013

Staff Sergeant Jessica Ham exited the executive office of Command, Control, Communications, Intelligence and Networks located on base completely unsure how to tell her airmen deployment was inevitable. The 66th Air Force Group would be oversees shortly after the New Year. Locking eyes with her fellow Staff Sergeant, Andrews, before placing her head into her hands with a sigh, “Give them the next few hours. If we tell them before this visit it’ll hang over everything and ruin everyone’s time.”

Sergeant Andrews nodded along with Jessica’s call, “I’m going to send out word about a meeting before we all head out for the day. You want me to schedule the other room for you and your boys?”

“Yeah.” Jessica nodded at him before they went their separate ways. Three years ago, at eighteen, Jessica graduated high school. With no idea what to do with the rest of her life, and a lack of financial means to go to college while attempting to figure it out, Jessie as her friends call her attended a military interest conference at her school. The Air Force was never something she had previously considered, but after a discussion with an intelligence officer her interest was piqued. The rest as one might say was history. In the course of the past four years she’d busted her ass to prove she could handle it and the rank recognition followed. Clearly her superiors trusted her; Jessica was in charge of one of the largest groups of airmen of any Sergeant. Trust among her men however was a little harder to earn, but once she had it Jessica quickly came to the realization there were plenty of men she was now stuck with for the rest of her life.

Moving quickly through the base, nodding quickly but politely at those who acknowledged her, Jessica rushed to the base entrance. Generals didn’t care what news you were given, you showed up when expected or your ass is reamed. After the previous news of the day so far, that would officially send her into a tailspin pulled by currents. Approaching the group and falling into line Jessica took a moment to observe their guests.

The 2012-2013 Boston Bruins were a formidable team, growing up in Southie rooting for the black and gold was a fact of life. Jessica was pretty sure she knew how to explain the offsides rule before she could do simple addition. An electric energy surged through the base when knowledge of their visit began to spread. The veterans, Patrice Bergeron, Andrew Ference, Shawn Thornton, and Milan Lucic would thrill the long term fans. Young guns Brad Marchand and Tyler Seguin would flirt through half of the medical division before the day was out she was sure and rookie Dougie Hamilton was making quite a name for himself at nineteen as a solid defenseman.

“Is he always doom and glow like that?”

Jessica heard behind her. Turning she was meet with the six foot six frame of Dougie Hamilton. Years ago the hairs on the back of her neck would have been standing up, now she yelled at men twice his size half the day and knew for a fact she threw a better punch then every member of the team. Smirking Jessica couldn’t resist the urge to chirp, she’ll forever blame it on being surrounded by guys day in and day out, “I imagine he and coach Julien would get along, I mean he screamed at you for how long after fanning on that shot last game.”

“Ouch Dougie, not impressing the pretty girl.” Seguin chirped with a smug smirk a head of them.

“I don’t know Mr. Seguin, at least Dougie here knows what an alarm clock is.” Jessica snapped back almost immediately after watching Dougie deflate as Tyler attempted to pull him down. Seguin’s eyes widened as Jessica dead stared at him; a move those under her have repeatedly said is increasingly unnerving. He turned quickly, shoulders pulled up to his ears while Jessica nudged Hamilton next to her.

He stood just a little straighter after her quip. Leaning in quietly, “I know you’re a rookie kid, but there’s a difference between being a doormat and becoming one of the guys.”

“And I suppose pretty girl is an expert?” Hamilton responded smiling, eyes crinkling, and an eyebrow raised.

“Pretty girl has name. Staff Sergeant Jessica Ham. Besides, do you really think there’s that much of a difference between military barracks and hockey locker rooms?” She responded in similar fashion.

Laughing he responded “Probably not.”

Smiling while shoving him forward, “Go entertain my men rookie.”

Throughout the rest of the afternoon, Jessica watched her men and the Bruins interact. Spirits we high and she could feel the weight of this afternoon's meeting beginning to feel like a physical pressure on her chest. Inhaling deeply but still feeling like she couldn’t breathe Jessica headed toward the doors before her panic attack could start. Never realizing there were concerned eyes following her progression across the room, before he rose to follow her.

Briskly moving out the door and around the building, Jessica sank down against the wall. Pulling her knees up to her chest and gasping for air. Jumping as someone sank down into a squat in front of her, Jessica looked up at Dougie, concern shining in his eyes. “Hey pretty girl, breathe.” Attempting to match her breath to his, the pressure on her chest finally felt like it was loosening. Dougie smiled, rubbing up his hands up and down her upper arms. “There we go.”

Rubbing her face, Jessica visibly flinched before lowly spilling everything to a relative stranger. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell them. This excitement and good spirits you all brought to base will be erased before they all go home. We’re shipping out in February. I know we all joined the military but it never seemed like this was going to happen.”

Dougie’s eyes went wide, practically bulging out of his head. “I’m sorry.” Instinctively left his mouth, “There’s nothing I can say that’ll make this better I don’t think.”

Sighing, Jessica rose back to her feet. “No there’s not but I appreciate the attempt.” Pulling his elbow and heading back towards the rec hall, “Better get back in there while I can still pass this off has taking a phone call.”

Dougie planted his feet and pulled them to a stop right outside the door. “I can’t make it better, but I could take you out for a distraction this weekend.”

“You do remember the shipping out in a few months part of our conversation, right.” She replied, waving her finger around in a circle between them like it was going to rewind his memory.

“Well, I figure I’d be pretty stupid to let that stop me from asking out the pretty lady Sergeant.”

“I can meet you at Faneuil Hall, Friday at seven? We can go from there Rookie.” She says, throwing her hip into his like a mini check.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, taking a chance and dropping a kiss on her cheek he hoped would be well received. “Sounds like a plan, Jessica.”

Over her shoulder while walking through the door, “Friends and cute boys taking me on a date can call me Jessie.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Saddledome, Calgary Alberta Canada 2017

Sergeant Jessica Ham smiled walking through the under belly of the Saddledome. Granted a short furlough she came to surprise her boyfriend of almost three years after his game versus the Bruins. As luck would have it, she remained close with many members of the Bruins and their wives after Dougie signed with Calgary and during her deployment. When her furlough back at Hanscom came up she took it immediately, the fact that the Bruins were heading to Calgary at the same time. Coach Cassidy had graciously allowed her to tag along with the boys on the plane, though she suspected it might have something to do with Stephanie badgering Patrice to make it happen. It was nice to see some of the boys again and meeting some of the newbies.

Feeling stares on her, Jessica just continued on with a smile. The pass Zdeno presented her with before the game wrapped around her neck, clinking every step against her dog tags. Pulling up outside of the locker room she leaned against the wall anxiously waiting for Dougie to appear. She didn’t have to wait long. Dougie was the next person out of the locker room, “Jessie.” Gasped out of him in surprise, “What are you doing here?”

Eyebrows furrowed, Jessica was surprised. That was his reaction? They hadn’t seen each other in almost a year. Writing it off as maybe just shock, she stepped forward to hug him. His arms barley wrapped back around her. “I was granted furlough for a few days, figured I’d come out for a surprise. They boys let me tag along on the team plane.”

“Babe!” A voice explained from behind Jessica. A blonde little bit of a thing, in sky high heels with make-up caked on her face brushed past Jessica before throwing herself into Dougie’s arms and laying a kiss on him. Separating the definition of puck bunny asked Dougie who this was.

Jessica smirked at Dougie, laughing harshly. “I’m an old friend for Boston. Figured since the boys were out here I’d tag along to see mister big shoot, but it was nice to see you Douglas. I better get going so I don’t miss the bus.” Turning on her heel and all but sprinting down the hall Jessica ignored all calls of her name while losing Dougie in the after game commotion. Crashing into the Bruins newbies Sean Kuraly and Jake DeBrusk while staring at the ground, she looked out at them as they both went white. Yells left them both for Z, Bergy, and Marchy. It was the longest plane ride of the season for the bruins and to this day the only one where the unassigned assigned seats were blatantly ignored as the veterans crowded the Lieutenant in the back.

—————————————————————————————————————————---

2019 PNC Arena Raleigh North Carolina

Dougie Hamilton was furious, down four to nil in the third period he could feel his teams Stanley Cups hopes exiting them. Coming to the realization that there run was over it became apparent that they would do everything they could to rough up the Bruins instead. Not all that difficult of a task for him. The resentment he felt for the team grew every time they played each other. He blamed them for the disaster end of his relationship with Jessie, added on to the pitiful offer they made him to resign the anger was real. Scrumming with Sean Kuraly in front of the net was a natural progression. The refs separated them while Chris Wagner braced Kuraly to make sure he didn’t hit the ice, not that Dougie saw. He was to focused on the silver rectangles that popped out of Kuraly’s jersey before he quickly removed his glove and made sure they were secured underneath it again.

Dougie saw white, “Are you serious dude!” he exclaimed trying to puss Jordan Staal out of his way to jump Kuraly.

Kuraly’s eyes light up at the chance, “She’s doing great man!” he yelled out taking his seat on the bench.

The laughter of some of the Bruins ringing in his ears, Dougie’s eyes cut to where some of the Bruins wags were seated that he noticed earlier. His eyes were met by the infamous dead stare. Dougie gulped before she disconnected their eyes as the buzzer rang. Instead she was smiling as Stephanie Bergeron through her arms around her. Blowing a kiss out towards the ice, Dougie was forced to watch as Sean Kuraly laughed and waved back at her.

Master Sergeant Jessica Hamm, the future Mrs. Sean Kuraly if the shine the light of the arena caught coming from her left hand wasn’t just his imagination, was doing just fine.

#nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl hockey #nhl imagines #dougie hamilton #dougie hamilton imagine #carolina hurricanes #canes #carolina hurricanes imagine #calgary flames #calgary flames imagine #boston bruins imagine #boston bruins #bruins #sean kuraly #sean kuraly imagine

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rpf-bat · 5 years

Text

Come With Your Arms Raised

Pairing: Mikey Way x Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Written for Inktober 2019, Day 4. Prompt: “Freeze”. You’re a traffic cop, doing what you do every day - pulling people over who drive recklessly. But, the driver you stopped today, is no ordinary perp - he’s Mikey Fuckin’ Way.

You took your job with the New Jersey State Police very seriously. You’d become a cop, because you wanted to protect people. You’d been a little disappointed, to be honest, when you were first assigned to the traffic division. But, you soon realized, that negligent drivers, caused accidents that left people injured every day. If you could prevent an innocent passenger from getting hurt, by pulling someone over, who was driving under the influence, or at a reckless speed - that was a good thing, right?

So, when you saw the black car flying down I-78 at 95 miles per hour, you turned on your siren, and started tailing behind it immediately.

The car pulled over without a fight. You were relieved - you didn’t really want to get into a high speed chase. You parked your patrol car and got out, planning on asking the driver for his license and registration. But, as soon as you opened your car door, the driver opened his, too.

A lanky man with hair dyed blonde, got out of the vehicle, and started running down the side of the road, away from you.

“Freeze!” you demanded, pulling your pistol from its holder. “Stay right there, and put those hands up, where I can see them!”

The man, surprisingly, complied. He stopped running, and stood in the grass, holding his skinny arms aloft.

I don’t think he’s armed, you realized, and put your own weapon back in its place. You approached him with caution, still worried that this might be some sort of trick.

“Are….are you gonna pat me down?” the man asked nervously. Something seemed oddly familiar about his voice.

“I am now,” you huffed. Why couldn’t he have just stayed in the car, like a normal person?

“Keep those hands up,” you barked, and began to pat the man’s pockets. You couldn’t feel a gun on him, or a knife, or anything like that. Just a wallet. Phew.

“Alright, you can put ‘em down,” you shrugged. “May I see your ID, please?”

“Yeah, alright,” the man acquiesced, pulling it out of the wallet, and handing it to you. You noticed immediately that his license was issued by the state of California. He’s a long way from home.

You glanced back up at him. He was just standing there, quietly. Not resisting, or shouting at you. This was a little unusual, for someone who’d just tried to bolt. The more you looked at him, the more certain you were, that you’d seen him somewhere before.

On TV, maybe? you guessed. If he was from Cali, he might be a celebrity. You’d seen a lot of young Hollywood types in the news lately, being arrested for DUIs. Should I make him do a breathalyzer?

You glanced back down at the license in your hand. Date of birth, you read, 9-20-1980. Date issued, 9-1-2013. Name: Way, Michael James.

“W-wait,” you gasped. “You’re Mikey Way!”

My Chemical Romance had been your favorite band, when you were a teenager. They had their roots right here in the Jersey scene, which you loved. But, you knew that all the members (aside from Frank Iero), had moved out to the West Coast, to pursue their career, years ago.

“You know my band?” Mikey blinked.

“Know you,” you scoffed. “Are you kidding me?! I saw you on Warped Tour, way back in 2004. It was my first concert.”

You’d been fifteen. You couldn’t believe, that ten years had passed since then, already.

“Wow,” Mikey blinked. “You were following us for a long time, then.”

“Yeah, but I heard you officially broke up, last year,” you frowned. Their last actual record release, had been four years ago. You’d bought it, but you hadn’t actually listened to it, in too long.

“We did,” Mikey frowned back. “Hey...it’s kind of cold. Do you mind if I sit back down, in my car? I promise I won’t try and drive off. If you’re going to write me a ticket, go ahead.”

Of course it was cold. It was February in New Jersey.

“Alright,” you nodded, and started walking with him, back towards his car. “What are you doing back in town, anyway?”

“I was supposed to start recording an album for my new band, Electric Century,” Mikey explained.

He’s making new music? you blinked. Wow, cool! But, I need to keep this professional. I can’t go asking for his autograph….he was still driving recklessly, and I do need to write him a ticket for that.

“But if you’re supposed to be in the studio,” you wondered, “why were you out here, driving like that? I clocked you at 30 miles over the speed limit.”

“I know,” Mikey sighed. “That was careless. I’m sorry. I’ll happily pay, however much you decide to fine me. I was just….trying to get away from my bandmate, David.”

“Get away?” you repeated. “Why?”

“Well…..,” Mikey hesitated. “He said we were going to record, but then he tried to make me….make me go to….”

Your eyes fell on something in the passenger’s seat of his car. A small, plastic baggie. And a needle. You’d arrested far too many people for possession, to not recognize what this was.

“Oh, fuck,” you swore softly. “Mikey, no.”

Mikey stood quietly behind you, his face filled with shame.

Oh, no, you thought. He had been your idol, when you were a high school kid. Now, to find him doing something like this….?

You couldn’t hide the disappointment on your face. A lot of people in Hollywood abused substances. You knew that. Hell, you’d watched the documentary, where Mikey’s brother, Gerard, admitted to abusing them himself. But, somehow, you’d still expected better from him.

“That’s why you ran from me,” you realized. “You didn’t want me to find this.”

“Are you going to take me to jail?” Mikey asked softly.

“You’re not putting up a fight,” you sighed, looking back at him. “You stopped running, when I told you to freeze. You could have gotten away, easily. Do you….want to be arrested, for this?”

“I know that what I’m doing to myself, isn’t right,” Mikey acknowledged. “I know it’s going to get me killed, if I keep it up.”

“So, why keep doing it?” you asked.

“I’ve been using narcotics, to deal with the pain I was in, for a long time,” Mikey confessed. “After My Chem broke up, I just felt….adrift. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life anymore. I guess I got depressed.”

“There are better ways to deal with depression,” you sighed, “than this.” You gestured to the paraphernalia in the car seat. You didn’t even want to look at it.

“You’re right,” Mikey frowned. “That’s exactly what David was trying to tell me. As soon as I got off the plane, he started trying to talk me into going to a rehab facility.”

“That’s why you ran away?” you guessed.

“Yeah,” Mikey nodded. “I jumped in my car and just started driving away from his house. I didn’t want to admit that he was right….that I have a problem.”

“It sounds,” you said carefully, “like you’re admitting it now.”

“But, I know, that that’s no excuse, for driving recklessly, the way that I did,” Mikey apologized. “I’m sorry, Officer.”

“You can call me Y/N, if you’d like,” you smiled.

“Are you….not going to arrest me?” Mikey blinked, confused. “I mean, I’m guilty. The stuff I’ve got on me, is something that gets you a lot more, than just a ticket.”

“If I were to take you downtown for possession, right now,” you explained, “you could be facing up to five years in prison.”

“Shit,” Mikey gasped.

“But….I don’t want to do that,” you decided, staring deep into his soulful brown eyes.

“Why?!” Mikey demanded. “Because I used to be in a band that you liked?”

“No, it’s not just that,” you shook your head. “Mikey….I can see that you know, that the direction in life that you’re going, is not good.”

“It’s awful,” Mikey admitted. “I’m not proud of what I’ve been doing in the past couple years, at all.”

“I want to give you a second chance, to turn your life around,” you offered. “Go back to David’s house. Let him check you into a rehab clinic. Stay there for as long as you need to. Get clean.”

“I should,” Mikey whispered. “I should have listened to him, from the beginning.”

He stood in the winter wind for a moment, contemplatively. You watched the breeze blow through his short hair.

“.....you’re really just going to let me go, Y/N?” Mikey asked.

“I’m going to be checking up on you,” you assured him. “If I find out that you didn’t stick with the twelve step program, and I find you out here again, with this stuff on your person….there won’t be a second chance. I’ll have to bring you in, and carry out the full extent of the law.”

“I understand,” Mikey said gratefully. “Thank you so much, Y/N. I’m going to pull myself together. I mean it. Next time you see me, I’m going to be in a much better state of mind.”

“I want to see you perform onstage with Electric Century,” you replied. “I want to see you keep shredding bass, like I know you can. So, go get well, Mikey Way. Take care of yourself.”

“When I’m….well enough, to do something like that,” Mikey promised, “I swear I’ll send you a ticket.”

You watched him get back into his car, and drive off, into the setting sun. You knew you had made the right decision. Your job was to help people - and the help he needed, wasn’t handcuffs. His music had saved your life, when you were younger. You felt peace, knowing that you may have just played some small part, in saving his.

#mikey way imagine #mikey way x reader #inktober #cops au

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