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quotidian-oblivion · 4 months

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Me: *finishes eating zooper dooper*

Me:

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ritzjewelers · 1 year

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Tanya Got A Rolex While On Vacation From Australia! Congrats!

#australia #down under #the down under #rolex #watch #los angeles #vacation #love

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hack-saw2004 · 8 days

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ONE HOUR AGO: greg abbott, who i have the great displeasure of calling my governor, is calling for the expulsion and jailing of ut austin students exercising their first amendment right to freedom of speech an assembly. every single motherfucker on the right soooo concerned about the first amendment seems to be creaming their pants over college students being brutalized and arrested for protesting. its fucking reprehensible.

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phantomrose96 · 7 months

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Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

#fma #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood #fma:b #literally anything about the dynamic between edward and the amestrian government is so so so funny to me #im begging you to come pick up your alchemist he keeps committing treason #Roy: absolute perfect ass-kisser and career-man playing the part 24/7 to disguise his treasonous ambitions and still #not flying under the radar #Edward on his public Twitter: bored. might tear down the Amestrian government for fun.

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nonomives · 1 year

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Sorry ive been dead for a while. Heres a lil comic (???) to help distract you from my absence

So... ykno how all of the other neighbors use past tense in their bios except Wally and Home?

Well I had this little thought that when there's not much else to do, Wally would often stand outside Home and wait for his friends. Just there, waiting for them to come around dragging him into whatever silly schemes they have for the day. His own little way of reminiscing about the old times. Or maybe even hoping theyre not completely gone. A habit that gives him something to do at the moment. Something that keeps him grounded while his mind unfurls on itself from the loneliness

Also hot take: Home isn't evil, just really overprotective of Wally since they only got each other left now

#also to the one guy that asked me to draw wally with their hair down under the rain #here ya go lol #i kinda rushed a bit at the end but ykno--#eh--#welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #wally darling #digital art #eeart #my art

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mirrorhouse · 9 months

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trying to de-ab gale and astarion because i refuse to believe they'd actually look like that. Also it just looks better (<- humble opinion). astarion's is a little rougher because i've only edited the normal and not the. whatever the hell the other two are like I've started doing with gale (the way this game handles textures confuses me) But if anyone wants it i probably will upload this as a mod in a little while

EDIT: now on nexus mods rejoice

#baldur's gate #bg3 #they're not even really gonna have their shirts off in my playthrough but just knowing they're under there freaks me out #i also might edit wyll's / the body textures in general just as an option or like. tone the definition down a little bit at least #★

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nocek · 9 months

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Is it a stupid idea? Yes. Did I have to go overboard and animate it? No.

But I had to and I'm not sorry ;P

#peter b parker #spiderman #mayday parker #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miles morales #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #atsv #tbh i notice that i have this group of fave characters that really fall under category of #i need to wrap them in nice fuzzy blanket and give them a hot cocoa #and miguel kinda pings my blanket and cocoa senses #but more like in an impending doom sense?#like he is going to get his ass kicked so much in the next movie #beyond is so going to be like you like this broken man?#hold my beer we can break him some more #i can just feel it in my bones #because for right now he pings my need to spray him with a water like a naughty cat he is an then hold him in air jail till he calms down #which objectively is a bad idea #unless you are this sunshine idiot spiderman that i love #and here is long story long why this comic happened :B

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crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington · 9 months

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wintersberg is really funny to me

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iamjackstylerdurden · 4 months

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#foremans contact is unchanged bc he saw what house used to have and seriously threatened to go to hr #that and i didnt feel comfortable typing anything house wouldve put #was this funnier in my head #edit: just realized i shouldve used thunder from down under for chase #house #house md #gregory house #james wilson #eric foreman #robert chase #allison cameron #lisa cuddy

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yrsonpurpose · 5 months

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#subtle touches

#rwrb #rwrbedit #red white and royal blue #alex x henry #firstprince #userninz #userveronika #usersteen #chrissiewatts #usernuria #userclara #usermegsb #mine*#fuels the agenda that they must! always! be! touching!#i love the idea that alex is drawing hearts on henrys back in the lake scene #i wanna know what he was doing!!!!! tzp spill 🎤#henry hooking his foot under alex's bicep like what the hell thats so domestic and relaxing.........#the first gif was partly for alexs hand but also for his thigh sliding down 🤭

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psqqa · 8 months

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yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.

phoenix wright

phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright

phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright

phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright

phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright

phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright

phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright

phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright

phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright

phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright

just

phoenix wright

crunchiest man in the world

and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him

#ace attorney #where are all the people gnawing on phoenix's bones so white??#i need to find the phoenix bone-gnawing corner of this fandom PLEASE #this is me asking for the Phoenix Fic btw #where is the fic meditating on phoenix's whole mental state in general?#where is the fic about how it's phoenix's cageyness and poker face and flat affect under stress that is the hurdle?#the relationship ramifications of being actually really fucking hard to read when it comes down to it?#where is the fic about the week of his disbarment?#the one detailing the panicked blow by blow of it rippling through his social circle while he stands in the eye of the storm?#the one that ends messy and anxious and unresolved because it's week 1 of 7 years?#where is the birth of phoenix wright: poker legend fic?#where is the art school/theatre major phoenix fic?#no not the able to art/act phoenix fic but the kind of person who chooses to go to art school/study theatre phoenix fic #where is the supremely disinterested in pop culture phoenix fic?#where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic?#capcom can tell me all they want that he's essentially an adhd disaster flying by the seat of his pants making it all up as he goes #but that's not what they're actually showing me #they're the ones who created an in-fiction legal system that functionally necessitates that #and the nature of the game is that phoenix is almost always proven right so rather than him coming off as hare-brained #his opponents rather just come off as short-sighted. either negligently or maliciously so #and the choices the writing makes in service of retaining mystery and audience suspense in fact function to make phoenix a person #who is astute and puts the pieces together but is cautious in his conclusions #i will grant them that phoenix does tend to lose sight of his overarching goal in getting drawn into proving or disproving minor points #the fact that edgeworth on the other hand never loses sight of this or where the various arguments stand in relation to it #is his sexiest trait as a character by far #but those minor points are actually functionally critical to the ultimate argument phoenix makes #so even though i do read that trait through the game mechanics i do also judge the other characters for being dicks about it #my point is phoenix wright does in fact have the character of a lawyer and is conventionally good at his job fucking fight me #my point is that you all have had 20 goddamn years to Rotate this man #my POINT is that there should be Intricate Fucked Up Meditations On Phoenix that rewire my fucking brain and i NEED to know where they are!

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bluerosefox · 1 year

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Wrong Number AU

"I SWEAR TUCKER IF I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE "I WANNA END YOUR DAD, MARRY YOUR MOM, AND TURN YOU INTO MY EVIL STEPSON/HEIR AND IF YOU DONT IM JUST GONNA TRY CLONING YOU ONCE MORE" FRUITLOOP AGAIN FOR A SECOND TIME THIS WEEK I AM GOING TO LET MY ROUGES END ME, DONT CARE WHO, JUST GONNA LET THEM FINISH WHAT THE PORTAL ACCIDENT STARTED"

-sent by Unknown Number

When Jason Todd woke up that morning to check his texts. He wasn't expecting this.

When Danny sent that rant text to what he thought was Tuckers number (his old phone got smashed in a recent ghost fight, Sam gave him a new one she wasn't using, and Tucker was out of town for a while so he couldn't help Danny transfer his data yet) he wasn't expecting a rather cyptic response

"Wrong number kid. But just for my own curiosity and concern, who is and where can I find this Fruitloop? I just wanna have a chat with him."