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misguidedasgardian · 8 months

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I need to (3)

... Set In

MASTERLIST

Summary: like they say, “out of sight, out of mind”, so you wanted to put an entire continent between you and Aemond

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: There are mentions of them being Minors! at some point in their relationship, cursing, cheating, angst, depression, underage drinking (in some countries), might miss some warnings

Wordcount: 3.4 k

Notes: jaja! can’t wait for you to read it!

You didn’t remember life without Aemond or his family in it

And even though you were officially dating for only three years, you had known him for longer than that.

They say there were five stages of grief, and even if you accepted it or not, you were grieving your relationship with a guy you don’t remember living without

In campus and all around it, you lived through the first three

Denial

Anger

And bargaining

And when you got into the cruise with your godmother, you were hit like a truck by the fourth one

Depression

One of the two weeks of the cruise you’d spend in your cabin, throwing up, seasick, and crying.

You did your rituals…

You deleted all the pictures, all the messages, and in all social media, all of it

Aemond’s texts started pouring in when he went to look for you in your room and Maris told him unceremoniously that you were gone, for good, went to Winterfell University

There were A LOT of texts

He was going through something of his own

But you blocked him.

And then his brothers, which also contacted you, and then you just turn off your phone for the rest of the trip, after sending only one to your childhood friend

Jacaerys Velaryon

Telling him you were going to be there in Winterfell next semester, and how you’d love to see him

And then you turned it off

You didn’t believe he was going to answer you back

Jace, had been your best friend, he was your neighbor growing up, but at some point, when you started to date Aemond, he just drifted off away from you. Your relationship with Aemond wasn’t easy and he convinced you Jace was “completely in love with you like a puppy”, so, you cut him off, and he didn’t protest

You missed him

You hoped he’d forgive you

And then one day, you woke up, and actually joined your godmother and the Lannisters for breakfast, were you ate everything you hadn't in the past week

Waffles with syrup, bananas and strawberries

Small jam and cheese sandwiches

Orange juice from Dorne

Coffee from Ashford

You ate and drank it all

Under the Lannister’s amused gaze

It seemed like each nautical mile you sailed away from Dragonstone and King’s Landing, the better you felt, you were detaching, you were cleansing and you were healing

And it felt good

And you knew what else felt good?

It was election week, the primaries, and the Lannisters, the main supporters of Viserys Targaryen, were in that cruise with you

Your Godmother had convinced them to join you, in support of you, and they were entertained to see “what happens” when they, the famous Lannisters, are not in king’s Landing for the most important political week of the year

You guessed mayhem, concern and worry, and perhaps the liberals taking power finally, without the Lannister’s money to support the conservatives

Tyland and Jason were convinced everyone was freaking out, and it was true, their cellphones hadn't stopped ringing all week, the Red Keep was in disarray

“We are all in this cruise, if this shit sinks, the entire economy of the seven united states of westeros goes to shit”, Tyland laughed, and you laughed as you zipped on your juice

“I’m happy to see the little one up and about”, said Jason, they were idiots, but they meant well, they were your godmother’s family, him, their wives and children, all so blonde they could blind you

“She is a little lioness”, muttered your godmother, arranging a wild lock of your hair behind your ear, “who is paling, darling, you need to take some sun”

“Its winter godmother”, you said, amused

“That is what the winter deck if for sweety”, yes, a covered deck with a heated pool and magnificent glass to bake like an ant under a lens

Your godmother knew what you needed, she had been through some of the same, doubling your age, she had seen and lived things… so she let you

She let you slip shots and then take the stage at the karaoke bar with Jason to horribly sing, butchering your favorite rap songs, until you learned them all

She let you eat as much calories as you needed, chocolate above all, the girls at the chocolate shop of the cruise knew you by name

She let you cry and accompanied you in those beautiful and chaotic movie nights where they only played cheesy rom coms

She let you do the “Sea Snake” bit on the bow of the ship, screaming, “I’m on top of the world”, even though you were at sea level, the lowest point ever

And finally, she online shopped with you to buy you an entire new winter closet, because you were going to need it, you were going North, as cold as it gets

She even looked at Northerners real estate, she wanted to buy a small (huge) cabin, for you and her, you for next year, near campus and a sky center, and for her to visit you

Turns out they were such things as “retail therapy”, or “comfort food”. but your favorite part was when she went with you to the cruise’s “built-a-bear” store, where she made you a wolf plushie, a gray wolf dressing in clothes with the colors of WU, you felt like you just went back a few years, that you were child again

And it felt nice, knowing that you could be taken care of

You needed that

You never felt that way with… the unmentionable

it was also funny because you took the Lannister’s kids, Tyland’s children and they were just so messy, jumping around, throwing everything in their path, throwing the white stuffing at each other… and seeing the face of your godmother was just so funny and cute

And the part you felt most guilty for… was that Viserys had lost the primaries.

He was still on the race, he went second

But you knew he wanted the presidential, and as mayor of the most important state, you knew he could do it, those were next year

Anyways, that was not your problem, even though the Lannister were boasting on “what happens when the lion is not in the den”

And the peace of mind that brought you not having your cellphone on you, that you could focus on the important things

You didn’t even know what was happening outside that huge boat

Maybe the world had burnt up, and you wouldn’t tell until you arrived at White Harbor, perhaps Essos attackedWesteros with a nuclear head, and that was it

You couldn’t care less

You didn’t even know that a world was imploding, only not the ENTIRE world as is.

It turns out Maris had the right idea and you did scorch the earth

Only you didn't know

The week in White Harbor was quick as well, the Lannisters couldn’t keep themselves out of the political career forever and abandoned the trip to go back to King’s Landing, but you and your godmother kept traveling

One week of a big hotel with spas on it, and you went to the Pentosi hot bathrooms so much you were scared your skin was going to peel off

And then…

Suddenly school started in three days and you were on a train to Winterfell

It was the middle of winter, and your godmother couldn’t pry you off of the panoramic windows in the big train, it was all tundra, snowy mountains and frozen lakes, and you loved it, all of it, and then, after one entire day of traveling

There it was

The view was breathtaking

The whole of Winter’s town, the capital of the North, was in a huge valley, rumor has it that underground water thermals ran under it, so it was a big green valley, even in the middle of winter, it was like a microclimate

The train entered the city trough one of the biggest mountains around it, giving you the entire view

You could see the University from where you were

The seven greatest universities in all of Westeros were once castles, castles of the Kings that ruled those lands, preserved for the use of the new generations of students.

It was an honor, for you in particular, for having study, now in two of them

“The truck with your things, the new ones and the old ones is in campus” your godmother muttered beside you, you are going straight to the school”, she said with a reassuring smile

You looked down at yourself

You were using the oversized jersey that Ben gave you, and some jeans and boots, for the cold

“You look… inappropriate, is not proper for you to wear those things, (y/n), the first impression is the most important one, and you have to look presentable, and serious”

You had to look back because you were certain Aemond was whispering things into your ear, like a freaking ghost

You looked at the plushie your godmother had gifted you and you felt silly for getting one, you were eighteen, not a little girl and…

You were so confused

“You look lovely dear”, she said, waking you up from your stupor, she sometimes could read your mind, “is your first day, moving day, back from winter break, is perfectly fine”, she said sincerely

He was no longer in your life

You needed to remember yourself of that

You were eighteen and your closet looked like the one of a grandmother, you had to hide your jeans from Aemond

He is no longer in your life

You were free to do as you liked and pleased

You took a long breath

He was not with you, he was not watching you, and even if it was, he didn’t get a saying anymore

He didn’t

Your godmother dropped you off in her rental car and the goodbye was long, but she understood your need to do this on your own, so she went to the headmaster’s office, according to her, it was an old friend of hers, and then, she left you, in front of your dorm building, next to the truck that brought the few boxes of your things in them

When you grabbed the last of the boxes out of the truck, you felt a sense of calm, of tranquility, you felt like finally you could breathe freely, when you turned around and you looked over the campus all dressed in autumn

You felt the fresh air entering your lungs and you knew you had made the right decision. You couldn’t smell the sea, or the fish, or hear the seagulls, instead, pure fresh air coming from frozen tundra and mountains.

This is where you should be

“Hey you!”, you turned around with a wide smile as you saw Jacaerys Velaryon approaching you

“Jacey!”, you said. It sounds weird but Jace was Aemond’s nephew, son of his way older sister from his father's first marriage. And you were so surprised to see him. You dropped the box and he held to you tight, like no time has passed, like he still was your best friend

And that hug felt so good

You needed it

Apart from your godmother you didn't think you had embraced someone for a long time…

Aemond was jealous, and wouldn’t let anyone near you

You shook your head as you hid in Jace’s neck

“You never answered me back!”, he laughed, and you finally separated as he looked at your teary eyes, you were so happy and excited. “I was so excited when I got that text from you, I answered immediately and you didn’t answer!”

“Sorry, I turned off my phone I was… going through something”, you whispered

“Oh I heard”, he said, and you shared looks, he was entertained, while you were petrified

“What things?”, he laughed, scratching the back of his neck, then he leaned in and picked your box off the ground

“Let me help you with that”, you were such good friends that you had planned, together, to attend Winterfell University back in Highschool, he went on with his plans, wanting to stand out of his family’s shadow and live a little adventure, fly off the nest as it were, just like you wanted to do, he had succeeded first try.

“That requires a coffee, or maybe a very large drink”, he laughed and you hissed

“How bad is it?”, you asked

“You were brought up a LOT in the family dinners over the holidays, lets just say you are not on the list for a christmas card anymore”, you both started to go inside the building, with a huge cart with all your stuff

“A friend lives in this dorm”, jace said smiling shyly as you looked around, amazed, it was huge, amazing

The campus was great from what you could see, every career had his own department, and the dorms where a few blocks away, all together

“I’m so happy you are here”, he seemed relieved, he couldn’t stop looking at you, “I love the spirit”, he said signaling to your jersey, you only laughed, “you look different”

“Different how?”, you asked

“Better”, he said, “like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders or something, I guess that’s what happened”

He and Aemond had never gotten along, ever, they hated each other for some reason, maybe because Jace’s mom was like the black sheep of the family and had broken ties with them, money and privilege included, she also followed a career in politics, but as a liberal, that was something, and she married Jace’s father Harwin, someone who didn’t have a membership in King’s Landing country club, and that was saying something.

You wouldn’t know, perhaps it was because of all the alpha male and all that.

But he seemed genuinely relieved, that you were here, and you had broken off with Aemond, because you truly cared for one another

“I’m happy to be here too”, you confessed, with a reassuring smile, “just like we planned all those years ago”, you giggled

“Let get you settled in, and afterwards I will take you to meet everyone”, he said, and you nodded enthusiastically

“Since is my first year I have to stay in campus”, you told him, as you started walking, he followed you of course

“That is cool, living here was great! though since is my second semester went to live with a friend a couple of blocks away in a cool apartment”

“That amazing!”, you whispered, and he smiled tenderly at you. “Who is everyone by the way?”

“Well, for starters, my roommate, you are going to like him, he is one of the coolest guys you will ever meet, and then there is Tallheart…”

“Ben?”

“You know him?”, he asked

“Thanks to him that I’m here!”, you cheered and he smiled, and suddenly you were out of the elevator and in front of your new room

“Sarah Snow”, you whispered, reading the name at the door

Oh this girl had gotten a single from the first semester, and now she was getting a roommate, she was going to HATE you, but you had to suck it up, with Jace here, and the prospect of new friends, you could totally spend more time off your room, you would try to bother her the least you could

You missed the entertained look Jace gave you, he just left the cart and took a step back

So you knocked twice and opened the door slowly, giving her time to react to your arrival, once you could look inside the room, a girl with dark brown hair and beautiful icy blue eyes jumped of the seat in her desk with open arms

“ROOMIE!”, she cheered, and ran towards you and engulfed you in a tight hug, you screeched at the sudden of it all but returned the hug. “I’m so happy you are finally here!”, she said releasing you as quickly as she hugged you, “look, I put everything in order, cleaned your corner!”, she said, showing you around, you indeed had your part of the room, even if it was blank, it was spotless. “I’m Sarah!”, she said looking at you with a huge smile. You introduced yourself back

“I’m happy to be here!”, you offered with a wide smile as you looked at your new room, it had a bigger window, but the size was ultimately the same

“I was so happy when they told me I got a roommate, you know, it gets lonely in this big room you know”, she spoke like ten words per second, but you loved her already, she had such a good vibe about her

You looked back at Jace and he was just looking at Sarah with a shy smile

“Jacey! what are you doing here?”. she giggled, “don’t tell me you are pulling all the stops already with the new girl?”, she teased

“No, we go way back”, he said, and Sarah shrieked

“That is so incredible, such a small world uh?”, she giggled, as she went to Jace and took the box off him

“Now let us have some girls time”, she teased and you smiled widely at him

“See you both at seven then? you’ll meet everyone”, you shook your head, so excited

“Sure”, you said at the same time, and he left you, scratching the back of his neck, you both looked at each other and smiled

“What’s the story there?”, you asked at the same time and laughed

While she helped you unpack, and hang posters and pictures, you talked about the things you could share and use from the other, and you found yourself thinking Sarah was an old friend, that is how it felt like

The clock turned seven and she grabbed your hand and went to “the tavern”, an amazing underground palace that served from coffees to the coolest drinks and locally made beer

There he was Jace with a group of friends

Sarah had told you Jace was good friends with his brother, he went to live together, and you loved that for Jacey, and Sarah and him… well… Jace was shy and Sarah was too, at least with guys, and she thought he was flirting, but he was also intimidating by her brother, it was a whole things, so you agreed to help her, to scout the field as it where

“She is my friend from King’s Landing”, introduced Jace

“my roommate!”

You looked around the room and you smiled greatly when you recognized two familiar faces, Baela and Rhaena. They got up and hugged you tightly, they were Aemond’s cousins, Jace’s… aunts? weird family

“This is my first success story!”, chanted Ben, and he introduced you to his girlfriend, Alysanne Blackwood, a beautiful girl tall as a model, they both were a sophomore

“Jon Dustin”, he kept introducing

“Where is my annoying brother?”, asked Sarah, looking around

“Oh he had some last minute things to do”, said Jace, “but no matter”.

You don’t remember a time in which you hadn't had so much fun, continuously

No shady comments about what you said, or did, nor angry, disappointed gazed towards you, you drank beer, and laughed your face off

Ben was a good representative but you ate ribs, french fries and drank beer.

And it was only the first night ever.

And when you were unsuccessfully trying to wipe barbecue sauce of the edges of your lips, you felt another figure approaching, you looked up and made eye contact with a tall man, dark hair, piercing blue eyes that scanned the table and then looked down at your sauce covered face

“There you are, you bastard!”, mocked Jace, “the semester is not even on yet and you are already to the neck in paperwork”

“what can I say, I like to keep myself busy”, you kept looking up at him, and his eyes never left yours, they were a glacier blue, mesmerizing really, “and who’s this?”, he asked

“I’m (y/n)”, you introduced yourself with your hand all coated in barbecue sauce just as your face

Not your finest moment

more notes: Alright, at first i didn't want Cregan to show up, but then I thought I was just going to be too cruel... so, there it is, not everyone meets trough a "meetcute", sometimes it is when you least expect it... so... there it is...

Its so hard to create out of the tip of my tongue the "ASOIAF" similars with things fromt he real world... like... when reader sang rap songs I imagined her singing "WIthout me" from Eminem jaajja, or I imagined making referenes from Jackie Kennedy and Marilyn, and all... ANYWAYS JAJA i hope it sounded just as cool like that...

taglist! ❤️

@mxtokko @princesssterek @thefandomimagines @iamavailablesstuff @misspascalpunk @sweethoneyblossom1 @ipostwhtifeel @lunamoonbby @ahristata @watercolorskyy @yazzzmints @n4tforlife @littleshadow17 @alexa4040 @speedyballoonpainter @hc-geralt-23 @rayrayredpanda @eralen

#misguidedneed #aemond x reader #cregan stark x reader #cregan x y/n #cregan x reader #cregan #cregan stark #misguidedsays #hbo house of the dragon #house of the dragon #modern!au #house of the dragon modern au

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zialltops · 4 months

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honeysuckle’s & huckleberry’s

After four years away at collage, you’re finally home with the tools and knowledge to save your family ranch. That is, if their ranch hand would stay out of your way.

Or: Ranch hand Joel doesn’t know how to handle the return of his bosses prodigy daughter, her snarky little attitude, or her sinfully tight jeans.

a/n: this chapter gets me right in the feels every time. I love watching the way Joels character changes and his train of thought shifts. I hope you guys like this chapter because it was so fun for me to write 🥹❄️

Masterlink

Chapter 3: Blue

As it turns out, extreme levels of dopamine in his brain after a bone chilling orgasm is exactly what Joel needs to level himself out while you’re sitting beside him in the passenger seat. It doesn’t make him stop thinking about it, but it does keep the tiny little gremlin in his head that tells him to pop a stiffy at bay. The only thing he has to worry about is his eyes, keeping them off of you and on the icy driveway as he pulls away from the house. The snow has started to melt, leaving behind a sloppy mud that makes the truck slip and slide. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get your car out, even if I can I don’t think you’ll be able to drive it in this.”

You make an exaggerated groan and he doesn’t even need to look to know you’re rolling your eyes at him from your spot beside him on the bench seat. “You just love deciding what I can and can’t do, don’t you? You know I lived here my whole life right?” He dares a glance over and you’re staring at him with your eyebrows knitted together and your arms crossed. His eyes tick down and he wants to kick himself in the head for even looking because your shirt is leaving nothing to his imagination and little to wonder about how good they would look bare with his dick between—jesus christ, Joel, get yourself together Man. “I wasn’t doubting your ability, I’m suggesting that it would be dangerous for you to even try.”

The truck hits the pavement and most of the snow has melted, but the freezing temperatures leave a icy film across the top. He had to go easy on the breaks and hope to god the truck makes it up the inclines he has to take to get to your car. The last thing he needs is to be stuck out here in the cold with just your bodies to keep each other warm. He absolutely one hundred and ten percent wont survive that, not without absolutely humiliating himself. God, he fucking hates how much you affect him against his will.

“Since when do you care about what’s too dangerous for me, huh?” Why in the hell is he arguing with you like you’ve been married for twenty years? “You left me in the snow to freeze to death in my car four days ago, why am I going to listen to you about whats too dangerous for me?” You have a point, but so does he so he just shuts his fucking mouth and keeps on driving.

It takes twice as much time to get down the pass than it usually does, but the lower Joel gets, the more the ice melts into cold water and mud. By the time he gets to your car, the road is clear but the car is still sunk down to the rims in the embankment. Theres a uneasy sort of silence in the truck, something lingering around the cab of the old blue pickup that feels like shame and embarrassment.

“Texting, huh?” He breaks the silence with a crude joke that earns him a deep glare. “Fuck you, asshole. You know, I really don’t know what it is that my parents see in you. My mom always said how polite you were but I don’t believe that for a second after knowing you for a few days.” You prop open the door and climb out into the snow with your car keys in one hand and the other holding your unzipped jacket closed. Your stupid fucking shoes and that tight ass—fuck.

How is he supposed to be okay with the way you make his body react when you literally curse the ground he walks on, thinking he’s the worst thing that ever happened to this damn town? He gets out after you and slips on his gloves to keep the cold off his hands. The winter always leaves him cracked and brittle from cold work, sometimes his knuckles bleed and his bones ache for gentle hands instead of hard callouses and a cowboys scars. “You don’t know anything about me.” He reaches into the back for a chain while you open the door to your car. “I know enough. I know you’re bullheaded and selfish. I know you’re rude and you don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

Fucking bitch, like he’s not allowed to have some self preservation after the life he’s lived, always cleaning up Tommy's mess and abandoning his own life in the process. “Don’t act like you’re any better.” You lean out of your car and make a face at him while he hooks the chain to the front of the truck. “Me? You don’t know a damn thing about me.” Like you didn’t just spout off about all the things you think is wrong with him—he can do that too. He has a fucking list of reasons you piss him off. “I know that you’re entitled and expect people to be at your beck and call. I know you’re privileged with no regard for anyone around you.”

He follows the chain to your car and hooks it to the chassis underneath. “Well were just a match made in fucking heaven then, aren’t we?” Its dripping with distain and bitterness, so Joel ignores the comment no matter how much his brain runs and runs about all the way he could be made for you, the way’s he’d fuck that attitude right out of you until you’re quiet. But he can’t and he won’t, he’ll probably spend the rest of his life wondering what you’d feel like, the way you’d shake and scream and beg for more—but wondering is far as that fantasy will ever go.

Because at the end of the day, you’re still Hank's daughter and you’re still half his age and—you hate his guts, which is definitely a deal breaker when it comes to getting someone in your bed. So he keeps his mouth shut and heads back to his truck to tug your car out. “When you’re out, hit your brakes so you don't slam into me.” You sink down into your seat and glare at him. “I’m not stupid!” He never said you were, but he doesn’t expect you to know everything, so he does his best to be the helpful asshole he usually is.

He pulls the little car out, manages to keep the chain tight until it's back on the road and the brake lights come on in front of him. He puts the truck in park and hops out to unhook the chain, but you don’t open the door. When the car is unhooked, you’re already pulling away without a word of thanks. Joel knows he’s well past earning the way you treat him, but that doesn’t make him stop wishing he could just get you out of his head already, wish he could hate you with that same mind altering disgust that you have for him, maybe watching you drive away would be easier.

Two months pass much like the first week. Joel keeps to himself, you frown at him and avoid him where you can. When you do see one another, Joel feels like you’re always at each other's throats. Everyone in the house has started to notice the distaste in your strained relationship, if Joel is willing to let himself call it that. It’s more like a forced acquaintance. Either way, your parents even see the way the two of you bicker and fight, but rarely does anyone but Tommy make comments about it. Tommy likes to bring it up any chance he gets, usually when Joel is alone just to rile him up further. He says stupid shit, like “I bet the sex you guys would have would be crazy good” when it’s just him and his brother at the dinner table and it makes Joel stiffen and run off to the cabin without his plate or a goodbye.

He sneaks in later for his plate and catches you in the kitchen with red eyes and tear stained cheeks, but you cross your arms over your chest and try not to meet his eyes. You’re dressed in just a big tee shirt and he can see from your bare feet to the tops of your thighs. He’s the luckiest son of s bitch in the world that he just worked himself over twice because he would be tenting his sweatpants right there in the kitchen.

That was three days ago and he still can’t get the sight of tears in your eyes out of his mind. He wonders if he did that, if he’d said something that struck a nerve and there you sat at the kitchen table after everyone was tucked in bed, crying your pretty eyes out. He feels like the worst fucking person in the world because of it, so he stays away even more, makes himself sad little ramen noodle dinners in his sad little hunting cabin he shares with his brother and he stares at his ceiling wishing it was you he was looking up at—smiling instead of frowning for once—all he wants is to see you smile. Really smile, for him, at him. He wonders what your eyes look up when they light up, wonders what your skin feels like when its not shaking in rage.

But between all the avoiding and hiding, Joel didn’t even realize how quickly Christmas had snuck up on him. He checks his phone sometime after lunch, his day spent getting the herd ready for another brutal snow storm. He’d been to town that morning for hot feed to keep them warm and any supplies they might run out of while snowed in, while deep, dark clouds hung in the distance. He was leaving the feed store when the clerk waved at him with a polite “Merry Christmas!” When he made it into the truck, he pulled out his phone and realized the date, December 24th. It was Christmas eve and it was an absolute miracle that stores were open right now. It was only eleven thirty and the sign posted on the door says it closes at two.

He starts to put the truck in reverse, turning around to look behind him while he pulls out. When he does, something inside of him doesn’t let his foot off the brakes. He thinks about you—in Christmas pajamas on the floor opening dumb little gifts from your parents because it's the first Christmas they’ve had with you for years. He imagines what they’d get you, probably things a grown adult needs—products, socks, underwear, (don’t even go there Joel) and he thinks about how disheartening that must be to a woman like you, used to proper city living now, expensive gifts and pretty things. You deserve pretty things, Joel wants to give them to you.

He turns around, throws the truck in park and jumps out, heading back into the feed store. He makes a bee-line for the glass jewelry case sitting in the corner, partially scavenged through since it is the day before christmas and all—he should have thought about this weeks ago. He scans through everything, shiny horse shoe earrings, matching pendants, jeweled cowgirl boots on a chain and turquoise ring sets. None of them look good enough, none of them scream you, sweet you—fuck, he’s seen it, when you’re so damn sweet, when you think no one is looking—Joel is, always looking.

He kneels down, scanning the bottom shelf of the case when he spots a simple golden chain and a bumble bee dangling delicately from its tiny hoops. It doesn’t have any stones on it and Joel thinks he likes that more, that it’s simple and graceful, not too flashy or obviously shoutings “look at what you do to me, look at how much I wish I could have you.”

In the end, he has just enough bills in his wallet for the necklace, tells the clerk he doesn’t need a bag as he stuffs the box in his pocket and heads back to the truck.

He has a busy day when he gets back to ranch, Tommy is checking on the pregnant heifers while Joel fill’s multiple feeders with hot grains that will keep them warm through the impending storm. He has just enough time before it starts to snow to get the horse fed and the equipment properly covered in tarps. This storm is set to drop more snow than they have seen all winter and Joel doesn’t look forward to the animosity that comes with never being able to get out of each other's hair. “How’s the heifers?” He asks Tommy when he brushes grain off his hands. “They all seem pretty far out besides one, she was really soft, sort of worried me.” Heifers get soft around the tail when they are close to caving, but Joel doesn’t think she’ll be willing to have her calf in this storm, so he lets it go. Instead, he takes a spot beside Tommy at the stable door.

“Snow’s comin’ down thick now,” Tommy says from the protective covering of the stable, staring out across the yard at the powder covered ground. Snow blows through the big sliding door, filling the building with cold gusts. “We should get inside before it gets worse.”

Joel wants to—when he looks off at the two story house, the christmas tree shining through the window, he spots you on the other side of it, fixing and ornament hanging from the nettles. The stable is a stone's throw from the house, Joel can see every feature, the color of your eyes, your sweet, sweet smile—because he’s nowhere to be seen.

He’s so busy staring, he doesn’t catch it in time when your eyes meet his across the yard. That sweet smile falls, those soft eyes harden and he feels his gut lurch. “You go ahead, Tommy. Think I’m going to hit the hay.” Tommy knows this bit just about as well as Joel does, knows he’s been avoiding the house, your parents, you because nine times out of ten, it’s just Tommy at dinner these days. Joel spends his night with microwaved meals and old episodes of The Rifleman to keep him busy until he finally gives in and slips his hands in his pants.

Tommy doesn’t put up a fuss, instead, he claps Joel on the shoulder and gives him this sad sort of smile before heading off towards the house. Joel turns in the other direction, follows the fence line for a half mile until he reaches the cabin. His feet are cold, his lips feel cracked after a long day outside in the harsh weather. He microwaves a sad little dinner, pretends the mac and cheese on the side is half as good as warm food at the table when the people he looks at like family. He’s simply not welcome there anymore.

He gets through two episodes before he promptly passes out, his pants left intact tonight because it’s not his dick leading the way tonight, its that look in your eyes when you saw him across the driveway. The pang he felt in his chest when you frowned and turned away like it hurt you to look at him.

He sleeps through the night, propped up like that on the couch and when he wakes on Christmas morning, his neck has a crick in it and his back is killing him. He barely drags himself off the couch and into the shower before his day has to start. The hot water eases out some of his muscles, but it still hurts like a bitch to stand up straight or turn his head.

But the cattle aren’t going to let him take a day off, the horses won't care for themselves, so he gets to it only a few minutes late. When he heads out the door, the ground is covered in two feet of pure white snow and dark clouds still hang overhead.

His Christmas is spent in the field’s and the stables and the box in his pocket burns a hole through his thigh the entire morning, until he’s shoveling off the driveway and the front door comes open. Louise makes her way onto the porch with a plate in her hands, shuffling down the slippery steps when she gets Joel’s attention. He tosses down the shovel and hurries over when she starts to wobble on the second step and nearly slips. He catches her arm and helps her steady before letting out a cold gust of air that fogs through the chill around him. “Miss Lou, what are you doin’ out here? It’s freezing.” She has a light coat on and her cheeks are red from the cold.

“You’re the one out here in the cold, Joel. It’s Christmas and you’re the only one working. Have you had a decent meal this week? I haven’t seen you at dinner in…well, I don’t know how long.” She’s the one reason Joel feels guilty for avoiding the house, in the years he’s lived here, she's always enjoyed cooking for them, she’d always tell him he couldn’t keep her dream alive if he was malnourished. He feels like that now, running on half the calories a man his size should be taking in and his mind is in a constant state of despair these days.

“Just needed some space is all, Ma’am, nothin’ you did.” He assures her, taking the plate carefully and helping her back up the steps. “I know it's not just that. My daughter can be really difficult sometimes…I know you two bicker. It’s a shame, really—I thought the two of you would hit it off.” That's the whole problem and what a shame it is that Joel can’t look at this woman’s daughter without thinking about all the ways he could have her, make her his. “Would you come inside? Hank and I got you something, he thought you would be in this morning but you never came. I'm sorry if your food is cold.”

He didn’t care if it was cold, his stomach hurt because he was so hungry, he'd eat it if it was frozen. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her no, so he heads inside the house with snow covered boots and a nervousness he hasn’t felt here since the first day he stood in this living room. For so long it's felt like his home too—but now he can't help but feel like an intruder.

When he closes the door behind him, Hank and Tommy are watching the game, but you’re nowhere in sight. He tries to shake off his nerves, moves to the couch beside Tommy and sits down. At his brother's feet is a brand new pair of deer skin gloves, Tommy’s favorite—but hard to come by. He knows they weren’t cheap and his heart aches a little, knowing they’d worked hard to pull together the money.

“Glad to see you can pull yourself away for a few minutes. You know it ain’t goin’ anywhere, stay for a little while.” He knows that—the storm will be with them for four days and he knows there will be more snow to shovel tomorrow, but he can’t stay for long, not when your prying eyes finally detect him in your safe haven. “I’ll stay for a little while, still a lot to do out there.” He knows Hank is too old for that kind of work, Tommy’s too lazy and Joel wants nothing more than to escape. “Got you somethin’, been saving up for it for a while now.” He leans down towards the tree and picks up a rather large box—it’s not gloves thats for damn sure. “Sir, I…I didn’t get you nothin’.” He didn’t have the money, he spent every dollar he had to his name on a stupid necklace for his daughter that would rather see him outside in the freezing weather shoveling snow than on her couch in front of the fireplace.

Hank throws a hand, playing off Joel's concern with an amused huff. “You do so much for us around here without asking for anything in return. You had one when you got here but i know it got tore up taking the cattle to pasture.”

Joel rips the wrapping paper, revealing a simple white box with the word Stetson on the top. Joel doesn’t even want to open the damn thing, he knows what's inside and how much it cost, an arm and a leg, probably a month's saving in the off season. “Hank…”

The olde man shakes his head firmly. “You deserve to have the sun off your neck, son. Just say thank you, make sure it fits.”

He pulls open the box and inside lays a black felt hat with a matching band, beautiful leather work that loops into an ornate metal buckle to hold it in place. He pulls the cowboy hat from its box, puts it on his head and—it’s a perfect fit.

It's been a long time since he had a hat, a lot longer since he had a nice one and a lifetime ago since he had the money for a new one, especially one this nice. “I don’t know what to say—thank you, Hank…this really…means more than you know.�� More than he knows how to convey with words. It’s been a long time since Joel had a hat that fit, one that wasn’t second hand or made for someone else’s head. But this—this was made for his head, the measurement must be damn near perfect. “How’d you know my size?” He wobbles his head around and the hat doesn’t budge, hangs on snuggly. He’ll even be able to ride with this on. “I measured your head while you were sleepin’.” Tommy tells him with a smug grin. “That's weird, Tommy. I would have kept that to myself.”

It draws a laugh out of Hank who has abandoned the game in favor of watching Joel's excitement. “Well, what are you waiting for—go check yourself out in the mirror, make sure you like it,” he stands and walks over to the mirror hanging on the wall above a decorative entryway shelf. When he spots himself in the reflection, he realizes just how long it’s been since he’s seen the man looking back at him. He’s graying in his beard a little, the age lines on his face have gotten deeper and more pronounced, but the black hat on his head makes that same man grin from ear to ear.

The stairs creek behind him and he turns half of his body to look up them. Stopped halfway down the stairs, you’re staring at him with a slightly slacked jaw. Joel knew it, Christmas jammies that leave your legs exposed to his greedy eyes. This time, he tries to keep them to himself. “Oh, uh…” he swallows down the lump in his throat and his pocket burns all over again. Should he give it to you now? Will everyone question him if he does? If he waits to get you alone, does that suggest that the necklace means everything he wants it to? A peace offering, an ice breaker, a “I’m sorry about the way I’ve treated you, but I want to try again.”

Instead, he leaves it in his pocket and tries to tamper down the way his cheeks heat. “Merry Christmas, Honey.” He tilts his hat up a tad so he can look up at you, but your slightly dumbfounded look morphs into irritation and discontent.

“What are you doing here?” You cross your arms and Joel’s good mood disappears. “Your mom asked me to come in and eat. Your dad wanted to give me this.” He points to the hat and your eyes roll as you make the descent down the rest of the stairs. “So if you’re in here, who’s taking care of the ranch?”

It isn’t often that someone sticks up for one of them in an argument, they tend to not get between the two of you, but to Joel’s surprise, Hank interrupts his daughter. “He’s allowed to come in the house, Honey—he works hard around here, he’s not a yard dog.” But that doesn’t stop you from sneering at him when you pass him on your way to the kitchen where your mother is. “Sure looks like one to me.” It’s under your breath so Hank doesn’t hear, but Joel does.

And he feels like a fool. A fool for spending the last of his money on this stupid fucking necklace, like a fool for being so plagued by thoughts of you in a different world, one where you don’t innately hate him, one where he doesn’t fuck up every chance he has to change the narrative.

“I should get back to it, I’ll see you guys…later.” He starts to head for the door when Louise pokes her head around the corner. “Please come in for Dinner!” Joel tells her that he will, he hates lying to miss Lou, but he does it because it’s Christmas and the last thing he wants to do is worry her today.

He wastes the day shoveling off the driveway, tries his best to rub out the crick in his neck and finally calls it a day when the sun is nearly set and the animals are bunkered down for the night. It’s started to snow again, so Joel makes his way back to the cabin with tired limbs and a new dusting of snow hanging onto the brim of his hat.

Dinner is just as lonely as the night before but this time he doesn’t pretend it's Lou’s cooking, he lets it be exactly what it is—a tasteless mush and his misery to sip on.

The Rifleman is just as predictable as it was the night before, as is Joel—who falls asleep before he has the heart to get his hands on his dick. But unlike last night, he doesn’t make it long propped up on the couch before a knock startles him awake. He drags himself to the door with sleep in his eyes and a chill in his bones. When he pulls it open, his pocket ignites again. On the other side of the door, you’re standing in front of him with a plate in your hands and a vicious storm letting down behind you. Did you walk here in that? “My mom said I chased you off, that’s why you didn’t come to dinner.” Well, you aren’t wrong. If you were still away at college, Joel would have no problem spending Christmas with Hank and Louise and Tommy who is apparently too good to walk you down here.

“You didn’t have to bring me anything.” He says. He glances to the side where his hat hangs on the rack. “Actually, my mom made me so no, I didn’t have a choice.” Ahh, of course—of course you wouldn’t do something that nice for him. “Well, thank her for me, then…” he reaches out for the plate and his fingers brush yours—bolts of electricity shooting up his arm and igniting his starved skin. It’s been so damn long since someone has touched him with kind hands and all he wants is yours—your soft, gentle hands he’s seen folding laundry and soothing horses. You don’t release the plate, but your eyes track up to his, meeting them across the threshold.

He could hold that gaze for the rest of his life if you’d let him—he’s always wanted a chance to get lost in your eyes and he’s getting it right now, his home pouring with cold in exchange for the heat in your cheeks and the sparkle in your irises. “Joel—“

There's a loud sound somewhere over the fence beside the cabin. It draws both of your attention to the blinding darkness. Joel knows that sound, a distressed heifer, probably the one who was too damn close to calving in a storm like this. There’s no way Joel can save that calf if it doesn’t make it and even if he wanted to, the snow is too thick to help.

“What is that?” You ask, finally dropping your hand away from his when you glance back up at him. “Heifer, think she’s calving—Tommy said she was really soft and her milk came in. Afraid that calf might not make it tonight.”

There's a look of disbelief in your eyes, shooting from Joel to the fence line and back. “You can’t help her?” Joel shakes his head and listens to the cow cry out again. “Nothin’ I can do for her. They aren’t supposed to be calving yet, we still have a few more weeks and it’s too cold out there. We might lose the heifer too.”

Joel observes the way sadness takes over your face, then determination. “I’m going out there to help her.” You tell him, already heading off the porch before Joel can even interject. “Don’t you hear me? She’s not going to make it, honey, just let it go.” But you don’t, you start to jog towards the fence line, so Joel huffs in annoyance and slips into his boots and jacket, finally pulling his hat on on his way out the door. He grabs a spotlight off the shelf by the door and follows your tracks through the snow to the fence line. It doesn’t take him long until he finds you, knelt behind a laboring cow, who’s already pushing in the freezing cold. “I can’t get this calf to safety and this storm is getting worse—it’s not safe to be out here.”

There's blood marring the white snow and your delicate hands. “I’m not letting her die in the snow on christmas because we made her have a baby, Joel—she didn’t ask for this.” Joel sets the light in the snow beside him and rolls his sleeves up, kneeling down beside you in the soaked snow. “She’s not going to make it.”

You make a face at him, one Joel is more than accustomed to. “I’m not letting her die alone, then.” And Joel isn’t going to leave you alone in the snow for a second time, so he stays there beside you, helping deliver the little black calf, who shivers wetly in the cold. It’s a little boy, floppy ears and a wobble to him when he tries to hold his head up. Joel can't help but smile, because this is always beautiful, even if he can't save this little calf. He looks up and you’re grinning right back at him, your cheeks bitten red by the cold and your hands shaking, but you look so fucking proud right now. Joel is too, after watching you pull that calf out of his momma like you were made for that.

“What if we get them inside, would they make it then?” Joel doesn’t see how, the snow is too thick and someone would have to carry him. “They wont fit in my cabin and the stable is a half a mile away. We’d have to drag momma through this snow.” He has a lead in the cabin, he could get her out of this snow, he thinks. Would she even want to go, after having a calf in the ridged cold. “We should try—we should at least try.”

Joel leans back and brushes the blood off on his pants. “Yeah—fine, we can try. Stay right here, keep rubbing him to keep him warm.” He stands and jogs back to the cabin, racing inside for the lead that he runs back to you with. You have the calf laid out along your legs while you rub his wet skin. “He’s slowing down. I can feel his heart slowing down.” He’s getting too cold out here—if Joel doesn’t act now, he won't make it, so he wraps the halter around the heifers head and hands you the lead. “Think you can pull her? She’s going to put up a fight.” You take the lead from him and nod, grabbing the light out of the snow while he picks the calf up under his belly. He makes a little sound at Joel while he starts to make his way through the deep snow.

It’s a long walk back to the stables, but you tug on that heifer and Joel carries the calf the entire way there, until he reaches the gate and manages to push it open just enough to get them through. He makes it to the stable doors in just enough time, throws it open and helps you inside. It’s not much warmer in here, but theres no snow and theres straw in the empty stable towards the back, so Joel makes his way over and lays the little calf down in the bedding. You’re right behind him with the heifer who takes straight to her baby once she has him in her sight again.

Joel plops down in the straw in the corner of the room once they are both situated, trying to catch his breath and warm himself up at the same time. He’s covered in blood, so are you, but you saved both of their lives and Joel has more respect for that than he knows what to do with. You risked your life out there for a baby cow and his momma.

“You did a good thing, out there. I’m sorry I didn’t want to listen to you.” You find a spot beside him in the hay and sink down, leaned against the wood wall with your shoulder pressed against his with how closely you sit. “You have every right to question me…you’re right, you know…I have no clue what I’m doing around here. Four years of school and the only thing I know how to do around here is the books, which is easy because were so broke.” Joel's heart aches for you, the sadness in your tone and the defeated look in your eyes. “I almost got us killed out there.”

Joel shakes his head and leans himself back against the wall too. “But you didn’t. You saved us a lot of money and saved his little life. I’d say that's a win.” He knows it doesn’t feel like one when everything else is coming down on your shoulders, but he can pretend it is for your sake. “Thanks, Joel.” You lean a little more, bumping his shoulder with a quiet yawn.

His pocket begins to burn again, but this time, it isn’t followed by the shame he’s felt all day. “I uhm…I hope it’s not weird, but I got you something…” he reaches into his pocket and starts to fish it out. “You didn’t have to do that,” you interject but he shakes his head. “I just saw it while I was at the feed store, thought of you.” He pulls out the blue box and holds it out to you. He tries not to read too much into the look on your face when you open the box, but he has to know. It looks like confusion, then shock and finally, sadness. “I was really rude to you this mornin’…and you had this in your pocket to give it to me?” You look over at him with big eyes, full of something Joel has never seen in them. “It’s alright—I deserved that.”

You shake your head and start to pull the necklace out of the box. “I called you a dog, Joel—you didn’t deserve that.”

He shrugs his shoulders, trying to rid both of you of the shame of that conversation. You hold the necklace up and admire it for a while, the little gold bee that’s going to lay against your chest, against your heart. You hold it out to him with a little quick of your lips. “Would you?” He takes it from you and you turn your back to him, using one hand to hold up your hair while he undoes the clasp and brings his hands around your neck, laying it around your delicate throat. It feels so intimate, sitting here in the hay beside a newborn baby calf in the middle of a snowstorm on christmas.

His knuckles brush against your neck gently when he does the clasp together, letting is hang from your neck, feels like a fucking brand on his skin. You turn back around, meet his eyes and smile carefully. There's a comfortable silence filling up the space between you, so Joel leans back against the wood and sighs to himself. “Let me walk you back to the house…it’s getting late.” His words are low and slow.

You nod at him and he stands, holding out a hand to pull you to your feet. He walks you out of the stables, through the blizzard and up to the porch of the big white house. “Where are you going?” You ask him when you get to the door. “Don’t know if I can make it back to the cabin in this. Might sleep out in the stable so I can keep an eye on the little guy.”

You don’t say anything, just stare at him for a long moment, then glance behind you at the warm house. “Come inside…Tommy took the guest bedroom but you can have the couch. It’s better than being out here in the cold.”

He wants to decline, but when will he get this opportunity again? To mend what's been broken between you? “Yeah—sure, that sounds better than straw poking me in the ass all night long.”

It makes you giggle and that makes Joel's stomach churn, his cheeks heat and his hands flex as he follows you inside. You get him a blanket, help him get situated in the low glow of the christmas tree in the corner.

When he kicks his boots off and settles down on the couch, you start to head for the stairs. He thinks you’re going to head up, but you pause at the bottom of the stairs before turning to look at him. “Thank you for helping me today.”

He hums, smiles and shakes his head. “It was my pleasure.”

There's another long silence, then you take the first step up the stairs. “Goodnight, Joel…Merry Christmas.”

He smiles back at you with tired eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Honey.”

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel the last of us #cowboy joel #pedro pascal fanfic

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phoenixyfriend · 2 months

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VP Kamala Harris is calling for immediate ceasefire in Gaza

I was alerted to this by the BBC Global News podcast. AP News has a full article on the speech itself, which was not held about Israel and Palestine, but was rather focused on domestic issues of race equality, as the speech was given in Selma, Alabama, on the anniversary of Bloody Sunday (a 1965 Civil Rights march that ended in police violence). There is also a Reuters article if you prefer those.

Despite VP Harris's incredible dedication to the topic of combating anti-black racism in the US and position as a figurehead and spokeswoman for many in that regard, she did find time in her speech for the following:

THINGS OF NOTE:

Harris is still, technically, holding to the party line on the topic of 'Israel has a right to defend itself.' At this point, I'm sure we've all seen enough arguments on whether or not that right is something Israel actually has, given its violations of the international laws of occupation, but it does read to me as more lip service than actual sincerity at this point.

Harris puts the onus of agreeing to a ceasefire on Hamas, rather than Israel. Given Netanyahu's months of explicit refusal to consider a ceasefire unless Hamas is completely and utterly destroyed (and with them, Gaza), this is... not great. Not great. She said, "Hamas claims it wants a ceasefire. Well, there is a deal on the table. And as we have said, Hamas needs to agree to that deal. Let’s get a ceasefire. Let’s reunite the hostages with their families. And let’s provide immediate relief to the people of Gaza."

The 'immediate ceasefire' is still just the 6-week pause that Biden has been talking about, rather than a permanent one.

The speech included "The Israeli government must do more to significantly increase the flow of aid. No excuses." This statement is interesting to look at in light of the US recently hitting a watershed moment and beginning airdrops of relief aid, something so inefficient that they were reluctant to engage with it until given no other choice. The preference was trucks, which are more efficient in terms of quantity, fuel usage, risk of damage from wind blowing things off course, etc. The 'no other choice' is in regards to whether or not the trucks could still get in, not in regards to international or domestic pressure, though that was likely a factor as well.

We got what I believe are some of the harshest and most direct criticisms of Israel's actions so far: "What we are seeing every day in Gaza is devastating. We have seen reports of families eating leaves or animal feed. Women giving birth to malnourished babies with little or no medical care, and children dying from malnutrition and dehydration. Our hearts break for the victims of that horrific tragedy and for all the innocent people in Gaza who are suffering from what is clearly a humanitarian catastrophe. People in Gaza are starving. The conditions are inhumane."

These comments are receiving international coverage, though I'm a bit concerned by how... blase and unconcerned Israeli media seems to be, though since this particular journal (Times of Israel) claims to be non-partisan, maybe that's why? That said, Al Jazeera is also calling it a 'rare rebuke,' which I would guess is a good sign for the shifting of DC's position on the subject when combined with the recent aid drops.

As usual, I am not a political expert, I just like to gather and share information; please go to actual experts when trying to understand what politicians' actions mean. I do, however, want you to call your reps. Here's a guide on how to do it.

To support my blogging so I can move out of my parents' house, I do have a ko-fi. Alternately, you can donate to one of the charities I list in this post.

#gaza #united states #israel #palestine #call your reps #kamala harris #bloody sunday #current events #phoenix politics #death mention #child death mention

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lambsouvlaki · 9 months

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For the Hell of It - Date Night

Characters: Jason Todd x fem!oc

Rating and warnings: G, no warnings.

Word count: 1,237

Summary: Dating a vigilante is hard, but worth it. Early on their relationship, she has to face that.

Masterlist

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On an early autumn night they strolled across Robinson park. Actors in Elizabethan costume were prancing around the low concrete stage, doing some warm-up crowd work. Jason’s arm was slung over her shoulder, and her dog Marlow trotted happily alongside them.

They weren’t great at the actual Dating aspect of dating just yet. It was still early days, and they had sidled into being together by following the same trajectory as their friendship, now with sex. They supported and trusted each other, they were both loyal and committed. They had already had two years to figure all that out.

Romantic nights out had been planned, postponed, and cancelled. Andy had eaten alone at a restaurant booked for two, not to know until later that Jason was fighting Killer Croc in a cage match. The week after he was blowing up an exotic animal trafficking ring before the major players could flee to south america.

He was apologetic and self recriminating. She could already see the barbed little seeds of ‘can this even work?’ trying to take root in his mind.

But she wasn’t a quitter.

It wasn’t the first time he’d been forced to stand her up. It wasn’t even in the first five, and she’d long since made her peace with it. It just felt more calamitous because now it was called a date.

It wasn’t a big deal, she decided. If other people could make it work, the partners of firefighters, nurses, other on-call professionals, then Wonder Woman help her, she could too.

Despite telling herself it wasn’t a big deal and she wasn’t worried, when Friday night swung around: bright, warm, and dry she let out an audible sigh of relief.

The light was swiftly dying but the park was surprisingly busy. It was the last Shakespeare in the Park of the year, and there were food trucks and little battery-powered candles for sale. Families and couples of all ages milled about looking for good spots. A polite group of children came over and asked if they could pet their dog, to said dog’s eternal happiness.

“I propose a strategy,” Andy said.

“Hit me.”

“We split up to look for clues, and by clues I mean the best food trucks. That yellow one has empanadas, and we passed a flag before that said something about paella.”

He nodded seriously. “You take Marlow, I’ll take the backpack, and we’ll meet back here in ten.”

They broke off like fighter jets zooming away, and roughly ten minutes later they returned with arms full of delicious smelling cardboard boxes. They set up their picnic blanket on the slope some distance from the stage where they had a good view of the whole area. They’d arrived at the perfect time, because the park was filling up.

They sat on the ground and laid out the spoils of their hunt, just as the show was starting.

The empanadas were sold out, but they had choripan instead, which Andy picked up for Jason. The paella was with shrimp and mussels, and was absolutely delicious, if a little small. Jason had found Korean fried chicken, and little skewered things called tteokkochi that neither were familiar with but were excited to try.

It was a confused and messy dinner that they dove into with relish, and some negotiations over final bites.

Getting the choripan was a strategic move on her part, because Jason was a sucker for anything in the neighbourhood of a hotdog. The fried chicken was the perfect counter, he knew her weaknesses. The tteokkochi turned out to be deep fried rice cakes slathered in sweet and tangy hot sauce, that had them both licking sticky fingers and promising to try them again some time.

Up on stage a short performance of the play within a play from Midsummer Night’s Dream was finishing up.

Next up, and the main show for the night, was an abridged version of Much ado Nothing. Jason scrunched up their food packages and lobbed it into the nearby trash can, and Andy got out the thermos of non-alcoholic mulled wine from the backpack for them to share.

They relaxed together on the slope, leaning back on their hands, with Marlow sitting up next to them on look out.

Jason glanced away for a moment.

“Hey, can I borrow your scarf?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure.” She handed it over without questioning the strange request.

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek then wrapped it around his neck so he could pull it up and hide his face.

“I’ll be right back.”

He snuck away through the crowd.

The play continued, the actors hamming it up appropriately. The night had set in properly now, and large lights beamed down onto the stage leaving the rest of them in darkness. The audience around her laughed at the jokes and gags.

She leaned against her dog.

The night was getting cooler.

Why did it hurt more now than it had when they were just friends?

She’d had no expectation of him then, she supposed. She hadn’t wanted him to be hers.

No. That wasn’t true, she had wanted him badly for some time, but squished it all deep down inside of her. Now it was out, with promises made and claims staked, it was hard to keep that once contained desire on a leash.

He would give his life for her if the situation demanded it. She knew that, with the same confidence she knew tomorrow would follow today.

But he would give his life for just about anyone if the situation demanded it. He was never going to change. She wouldn’t want him to.

She looked at the silhouettes of people in the dark around her, an elderly couple on camping chairs to her side, and ahead of her a family with two children who were fast asleep on a blanket. Not very long ago this park was so dangerous people rarely came here during the day.

She looked at her things around her, and thought about what she would need to do if he didn’t come back tonight. She would take a taxi home and bring his stuff with her, hold onto it for him until he could come to her place to pick it up. It could be in two weeks, it could be tomorrow.

This was going to be her life, forever.

She pulled in deep breath and leaned her forehead on Marlow’s neck.

“Okay,” she said to herself. “Okay.”

About twenty minutes after Jason left, Marlow looked up and to the side. She followed his sight line and she saw Jason returning through the crowd. He dropped something into the trash can with such a casual air it took a few moments for her to recognise it as a disassembled pistol. Nobody else noticed him at all.

He stretched out on the blanket behind her and gently pulled her back against him, his hands around her waist. He returned her scarf, wrapping it loosely around her neck. The knuckles of his right hand were grazed. He drew no attention to it, acting for all the world as though nothing had happened and nothing was ever going to happen. He definitely hadn’t just disarmed whatever dangerous hooligan had been planning to do something terrible.

She loved this man so much it hurt.

“What’d I miss?” he said in her ear.

“Not much.” She leaned back against him. “But I’m starting to think this Benedick guy doesn’t actually dislike Beatrice after all.”

He snorted a laugh. They settled in for the long haul.

Next>>

#jason todd #red hood #dc #jason todd x oc #red hood x oc #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x reader #for the hell of it #my fanfic #fluff #angst #yearning #dating a vigilante is hard and lonely #but no less rewarding

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mirrorsmoonlight · 4 months

Text

☆ ~ you can buy my love but you don’t want it

pairing: treech x gn!reader summary: you rent a boyfriend to experience what it’s like to be in a relationship (and to spice up your summer), despite not being big on them. in the end it wasn’t you who caught feelings. warnings: modern au, second person, fluff to angst?, treech acts like a bf cause that’s what rent a boyfriend’s do (but he kinda quickly falls for the reader), one of the longest i’ve ever written

summer break contained warm temperatures and frizzy hair from the humidity. it also turns out, that boredom is something that’s stretched through the days of the long summer. and to perish that boredom you wanted to do something exciting, and if it wasn’t exploring new countries and hanging out with friends, it’ll be something that is out of the ordinary.

after finalizing the decision, you clicked that button that sealed your fate. feeling a rush of adrenaline rush through your veins. tomorrow is the day, and you’d made sure to pick your best looking outfit for this occasion. but not for the man that’s going to be stuck by your side, but for you.

the wind blew warm air onto your face as you stepped out the door, taking a second to admire the beautiful view; the sky a bold blue with clouds lounging in the sky, the ultimate laughter coming from the families and friends, and the beautiful greenery swaying and shining with healthy limbs.

your feet created a rhythm against the pavement soon after as you began to make your way to the meeting place - which was only 10-15 minutes away - with your tote bag hanging on your shoulder. only when you’d finally arrived, did you see him, standing infront of the restaurant looking as gorgeous as he had in the picture.

his head shot up at the sound of your footsteps, pausing for a bit before a smile plastered itself on his face. “hey, (name) right,” he held his hand out in a polite handshake after you nodded, clasping your hands together after shaking it, “my name’s treech if you’d forgotten already.”

you smiled, his warm attitude and welcoming smile killing your nervousness and causing you to relax, “it would be a shame if i’d forgotten the name of someone as captivating as you. plus i would say it’s pretty unique, you don’t really see a lot of people with that name.”

a laugh left his lips at your teasing, before hitting you with one of his own remarks, “and it would’ve been a shame if you’d arrived just a few minutes later. the food looked a little too good that it almost made me forget who i was here for.”

fondness was the only thing present on your face despite you rolling your eyes, “well now that i’m here you won’t forget, cause today will be the best day (date) of your life.” watching the smile not once disappearing as he shook his head, before using his free hand to grasp the handle of the door, holding it open so you could go first, “well then we better get to it then, shall we?”

the restaurant was fancy, pristine hardwood floors and flawless white walls boxing in the squared tables and chairs made of mahogany. as he talked to the hostess you scanned your eyes to every corner, eyes shining with facination, not even realizing that you were now being led to the table if it wasn’t for the grip on your hand.

the table was against the window, allowing the sun to beat down onto the people inside. it was also dressed in a white tablecloth, protecting the tabletop from dirtiness and stains. treech paused, making sure to pull out your chair for you to sit down before taking a seat in his own.

“so what do you want to do after we’re done eating,” his attention was wholly on you as he asked, leaving you abit startled yet you quickly shook it off.

“i was hoping that we could buy some ice cream at the truck near by and walk on the beach together,” you hands busied themselves with unraveled the silverware from the napkin. placing them on the table, before spreading the napkin over on your lap to make sure you wouldn’t dirty your clothes while eating. “then we could stroll the shopping strip nearby.”

you looked back over at him, surprised at seeing that the whole time he never once took his eyes off of you.

the lunch was filling - making you convinced you might not even have room for such ice cream you’d mentioned before - and delicious, the aroma wafting out of the door as you both walked out. as he strode back up to your side he gently removed the tote you were carrying onto his own shoulder, before reattaching your hands together, both of you walking in silence.

you led him to the ice cream truck that was just a few blocks over, turning to him to ask him what he wanted as you ordered. only having to wait a few minutes before one of the employees came back with your order in hand. once the ice cream cones were secured, you carefully handed his to him, setting a slow pace as you walked the direction that would lead you to the beach.

it didn’t take that long to get there, but the both of you were almost done with your ice cream. nonetheless even with the cone in hand, you made sure your shoes were off, holding the insides of it with just the tips of your fingers. no chatter being created between the two of you, just the sounds of the waves crashing against shore and the seagulls that flew overhead accompanying you two.

eventually as the trail of footprints on shore grew longer, the remainder of the ice cream became shorter; nothing but crumbs harboring its place on your fingertips.

so you looked towards the horizon, the sun shining like a lightbulb in the sky as you admired the beauty of it. and noticing your focus was averted away from him he quickly pulled out his phone, aiming the camera towards you before quickly snapping a few pictures.

a grin lighting up his face, knowing that the sun could never compare to the beauty he saw in you.

the sand was stubborn, sticking onto your feet like a second skin. and when relief was finally found, more crawled up and held their place leaving you frustrated. and noticing this treech abandoned his effort of doing the same to come to your rescue; picking you up in bridal style even though you loudly verbalized your protests.

“what’re you doing,” you held onto his shoulders as you laughed. “doing what a boyfriend would do, obviously,” he smiled down at you with such a genuine smile it made your stomach fill with butterflies, a pink hue beginning to spread across your face.

luckily, his long strides across the sand let you arrive to the dry cement faster. him gently setting you down on the bench before taking the spot next to you to dust his sand covered feet.

your eyes were trained on his figure for a good few minutes before you hid your face in your shoulder, not wanting him to see the effect he left on you after what he just did.

the next stop was the shopping strip like you’d promised, the streets not full but not bare either. neither of you decided to stop and browse through the stores, choosing that this would be a great time to just aimlessly walk together hand in hand.

but time went by quickly, the sky now a dark purple - soon going to fade into a black - with stars beginning to pop out of their hiding places. and just as time trickled away the strength in your feet did the same; the soles throbbing from the journey you’d had. so, you stopped at one of the benches that were along the path, resting for a bit. only for a few moments later treech announcing he was going to pick something that he’d saw on the way.

you nodded, too tired to object to what he’d plan to do. so while he was gone you observed the people around you, trying to distract yourself. when he’d returned you noticed he held something behind his back, heart rate speeding up in what you didn’t know was adrenaline or excitement.

“since the day will end soon, i wanted to give you one last gift,” your attention was caught, tiredness leaving your body for a blissful minute. he pulled the mysterious gift from behind his back and presented it to you; a perfectly wrapped bouquet of faded pink tulips in his hands.

“treech, you didn’t have to,” you shook your head as you looked at him but a thankful spark was in your eyes. “i wanted to,” he sat down next to you before handing you the bouquet, watching you for a moment, “you were probably the best fake partner i ever had.”

you chuckled before leaning in to hug him, “thank you treech, it means a lot that you even put the effort in doing this last minute.” his hand gently soothed your back, rubbing circles into it before pulling away, “well as much as i enjoyed the day it’s probably time to get you home.” you looked at him for one last moment before nodding, gathering your stuff.

when you arrived at your place you felt disappointed. spending time with him probably being one of the most memorable things that would happen all summer. but you knew that what you had was only temporary. you knowing that even though you loved it, you couldn’t love it forever since both of you were in different places in your lives - you not focused on wanting a relationship.

you turned towards him as you stood infront of your front door, ready to say your goodbyes. “i’m glad i chose you,” your shining eyes focused on his own, “if it was someone else i probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as i had.”

he nodded before stepping closer to you, one of his hands cupping the back of your neck. and recognizing what he’d planned to do, you gently placed your hand on his chest, “i didn’t pay for a kiss?”

“you don’t need to,” he shook his head before pausing, waiting for you to consent first. and once the smile popped on your face and you began to lean in, he took the opportunity, kissing you like it would be the last time.

and once you pulled away, he let you go. watching as you strode up the steps. the last thing he saw before you disappeared was your beautiful smile that you shot over your shoulder.

a/n: i wrote this in just a few hours because i wanted to post it before it was 2024. so i wanted to say Happy New Year’s Eve or Happy New Year’s, depending where you are!

#🪓. lumberjack #🕊️🐍. tbosas #ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas x you #tbosas imagine #tbosas x reader #tbosas #treech tbosas #modern au #the hunger games #the hunger games x you #the hunger games x reader #hunger games imagine #district 7 #treech x reader #treech x you #treech imagine

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nonexistent-introvert · 10 months

Text

Back to December

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Content: Angst, breakup, apologies, miscommunication, based off back to December

A/N: In honor of Speak Now Taylor Version!!! Been listening to her on repeat. Pls listen to the song while reading for the full effect.

Javier should be happy, he had just taken down one of Cali’s godfathers, it was a dream for most DEA agents to do that. There was a celebration going on in the department for him and yet, he felt empty and anxious, the same kind of anxiety you get when you lose something close to you. He pushed his way through the crowd, stopping only briefly to force out a polite smile and shake some hands of the people who are congratulating him. Javier never liked the attention anyways, the congratulatory messages felt undeserving and insincere after hearing it for the umpteenth time.

“Start without me.” He replied to the various requests of wanting to toast him. Something was very wrong, he feels it in his gut. It was incredibly infuriating because Javier just can’t seem to pinpoint it

The epiphany hit him like a truck. Javier let out a shaky breath as he stepped on the accelerator in his car. A string of Spanish curses erupted from his lips, each one getting louder as he got more frustrated with himself. He couldn’t lose you.

Javier knew something was wrong the moment he stood outside his apartment. His gut telling him to just turn around and go enjoy his celebration, drowning himself in the alcohol before he could fully comprehend what has happened. Still, his determination to find out the truth was strong, giving him the courage to open the door even if he knew that he wouldn’t find you behind it. Javier strode through his small apartment, his heart sinking with every empty room. His eyes searching for you in desperation. Javier ran his hands through his hair, letting out another curse word in Spanish Your belongings that decorated his living space was long gone, the clothes that hung next to his were nowhere to be seen. Javier dragged himself to the comfort of his kitchen, needing the alcohol to numb the pain in his heart when he finally noticed the note with your handwriting, placed right next to the roses he had bought for you on his way home just a few days ago.

“I’m so sorry.” Three words and you were gone. Javier downed the alcohol in one go, letting the burn of the whiskey burn away the lump in his throat. His only comfort and reminder of you now were the roses in front of him, the only sign that being with you wasn’t all a figment of his imagination.

======================================

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life? Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why

You fidgeted with your hands anxiously as you waited for Javier’s arrival. You weren’t sure if he would even show up. So seeing his broad shoulders enter the bar made you sigh in relief. He was wearing a white button-up with a tie, having long abandoned the black outerwear. Javier gave you a nod of acknowledgment while you smiled at him, “You still drink whiskey neat right?” You asked, gesturing to the whiskey you had already bought for him. “Yeah, yeah I do.” He replied, giving you a smile back in return. The tension rose in the air as the both of you enjoyed the drinks.

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you left the 2-year relationship with nothing more than 3 words.

“Thanks for coming.” You began. “How’s life?” You continued with the most basic of conversations. Javier's eyes met yours, hurt clouding his vision. The both of you have drifted to the point of talking about the usual common conversation topics. He tore his eyes away from you. “And Chucho, he doing ok?” You questioned further, trying to stop the silence from settling in between the both of you. Javier shrugged, “He’s good. I-I haven’t been back lately.” He admitted with a grimace and from the look on his face, you knew Javier was cussing himself out for not going back to visit him. Javier always blamed himself. However, you didn’t feel like you were the right person to be offering him comfort. “Work has been a little overwhelming,” Javier confessed, taking another sip of his drink. “I saw.” You nodded, “Um- through the news and all.” You inhaled, you weren’t sure if Javier cared but you figured he had to know. “I’m proud of you, you’re really making a difference.” Javier's eyes shot up to meet yours before he let out a laugh, “Am I?” He asked incredulously. Javier tried to ignore the pain in his heart, he had lost you to pursue this change in the world, was it really worth it? Javier shook his head, turning his head to the crowd in the bar instead. You knew him well enough to know that he didn’t need any other comments, he didn’t want to continue this conversation about his contributions.

It was small talk and curt replies. You clenched your jaw to stifle the ache in your heart. It hurts, it made it hard to breathe. Javier used to look at you with adoration and a soft smile, now he was avoiding your eye contact despite you trying your best to hold onto him. It was the consequences of your actions after all, you had to face it one day or another, or you could let the guilt and the possibility of ‘what could have been’ haunt you for the rest of your life.

You never knew that Javier being on guard around you would hurt you this much. It was only now did you realize how much he had truly opened up to you then. How much he trusted you with his vulnerabilities only for you to take it all for granted.

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

The pained look on his face every time he met eye contact with you was enough to break your heart. He furrowed his eyebrows and clenched his jaw before averting his gaze away from you, as though it physically hurts him to look at you. Like a moth to a flame, no matter how much it hurts, Javier couldn’t help the fact that his eyes. would always search for yours. The note next to the roses, he could remember it like it was yesterday. He has replayed that memory so many times till the point it had burned itself into the lining of his mind, trying to find out what had gone so wrong between the both of you. He was sure everything was well, he was sure he gave himself fully to you. The withered roses he had came back to after burying himself in work was another cruel reminder that his relationship with you had came to an end.

==============

These days, I haven't been sleepin'

Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'

When your birthday passed and I didn't call

Javier Peña never left your thoughts. He rarely did when you were with him and he never did when you left him. There were fragments of him everywhere you went, especially when it reached his birthday month. The memory of you packing up, of you breaking down on his couch the very same night before you finally mustered the courage to leave and not turn back. It was a rash and impulsive decision but if you gave it any other extra thought you would not have committed to leaving. The worst part of it all? The relationship would have destroyed you no matter if you had chosen to leave or stay with Javier and you didn’t want to drag him down into the wreckage. The problem was you, you didn’t want to fight, you didn’t want it to end in an ugly fight, so you left. Or maybe you were just too afraid to open up and face Javier. The word ‘maybe’, was what kept you awake at night. You would stare at the calendar on your desk, the date marked with “Javi’s birthday” was like a stab to your chest. You should call, at least wish him, and hope he isn’t overworking himself and that he had all three meals. You fidgeted with the pen in your hand, trying to put yourself in Javier’s shoes. Ultimately, you would come to the conclusion that it was unfair to leave him, only to reappear in his life on his birthday showing concern for him. You swallowed, forcing yourself to scribble out that reminder on your calendar. You didn’t need it anymore.

On the other side of the earth, Javier's fingers hovered over your contact number in a payphone booth. Curls of his hair have fallen onto his forehead and stuck to it because of the sweat. He missed you so much, he just wanted to hear your voice. Especially when he had just dodged a bullet and barely made it back to Bogota alive. Javier needed you.

But he still forced himself out of the payphone booth. You must have left for a reason.

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughin' from the passenger's side

And realized I loved you in the fall

The most beautiful moments in your life were spent with Javier. It was hard forgetting such beauty. The times when he would drive you around his hometown, excitedly telling you all about his childhood and pointing out buildings. When his shoulders were less tensed and a smile graced his features easily in the comfort and safety of his hometown. When his laugh made your stomach fill with butterflies and your ears turn red. It was a simple memory but it carried so much beauty. That Javier was a different person compared to the Javier you see in Columbia. Maybe things would have turned out differently if he was always that Javier who was happy and not the version of him in Columbia who had a constant scowl on his face, a permanent wrinkle in between his eyebrows from frowning too much, and the asshole who pushed everyone away.

You loved it when the orange hues of autumn and the sunlight was paired together, highlighting his features, and making his smile even brighter than it already is. You preferred it more than a dim desk lamp that cast a shadow against his face as he worked tirelessly into the night. Sadly, that was the version of him you were more familiar with, the scene of him being overwhelmed with work was a more common sight than a smile on his face.

And then the cold came, the dark days

When fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

It felt like waking up from a dream when the both of you eventually returned to Columbia after Autumn. Chucho sent the both of you away reluctantly with various snacks he had bought from a local store. The keychain of a cow still hung from your home keys, a reminder of the ranch that Chucho owned, the ranch that Javier had grown up in.

During the winter, the nights were longer, making Javier’s absence even more apparent than it already is. You pulled another blanket over you, trying to fight the cold of the winter. Javier was always your personal heater, but he isn’t here with you. He rarely is. With nothing else to occupy yourself, you let yourself drown in your own thoughts. The overthinking induced fear, fear for your relationship with him. A fear that you didn’t even notice until it was too late, when it had already plagued your mind till it induced a ‘fight and flight’ response in your mind. Javier made promises, promises that you knew he tried his best to fulfill. Promises that he would spend all his time with you, preferably back in Laredo, and that he would leave this bloodbath known as the drug cartels. However, the cold only made the fear spread. The drug cartels were like the Hydra, slice its head off and another one grows back. The idea of Javier being able to leave this bloodbath seems like a fairytale. You only fear that the only way out would be at the cost of his life.

You knew, you knew that you were a weakness for him. Javier had admitted it to you before which is why he was very overprotective of you. If anyone came after you because of him, Javier would unleash all hell upon them. You too, wouldn’t forgive yourself if he had gotten hurt because of you. In his job, Javier couldn’t afford to have a weakness.

Javier had given all of himself to you. He needed you to know how much you meant to him, that he couldn’t live without you. This amount of love manifested itself as a weakness for him and you felt sorry that you didn’t have the capability to contain the love he had given you. It was the worst trade ever, all of his love only to receive a goodbye in return.

======

So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

You forced yourself to meet his eyes, those eyes that still made your knees weak. Your heart was pacing till the point that you could hear it thumping in your eardrums. You swallowed the pride that has stopped you from reaching out before, in fear of rejection.

“I really shouldn’t have done that. I'm sorry. I know I should have talked to you.” You paused, trying to find the words to convey your thoughts. You were never good with words. Javier downed his whiskey, staring down at the floor. Your fingernails dug into your skin at his indifferent reaction, you needed to go on despite how much it hurts to witness his reaction.

“I miss you Javi, I really do. If I could turn back time and make myself realize how much you truly mean to me I would. I would have chosen to stay.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Javier coldly questioned. It was at times like this where he was thankful that he was trained to keep a poker face so that you couldn’t see how much his heart is burning for you.

“I was terrified of losing you. Both figuratively and literally.” Javier frowned further at that, his eyes shining with a glint of curiosity and confusion. You rubbed the back of your neck, unsure how to phrase it for him.

“Your job, it carries some risks that I understand but matters just kept getting more and more dangerous. I was afraid that one day you wouldn’t be able to walk through your apartment door again. I was terrified that you lose yourself to the job, letting the haunting scenes and guilt haunt you till the point where you were too far gone.” You explained to him. To put it simply, you were too afraid to carry his burdens with you, too afraid of having to bear the weight with him. You didn’t think you could handle it when the shine in his eyes one day dimmed till the point of no return and he looked at you with eyes with no soul behind them. Javier downed another glass of whiskey, letting it burn down his throat, similar to how his heart burns.

“But the time I spent with you. I will never regret it. I go back to those times every time, missing you and hoping to experience it again.” You admitted, trying to blink away the tears that has formed in your eyes. You prayed that Javier takes your watery eyes as a simple reflection of light.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

“I miss you Javier, I really do. I miss seeing the smile on your face everytime your eyes meet with mine, and your tan skin that contrasted your bright eyes, making your eyes shine even brighter.” Your ears burned at the admission, feeling like a teenager confessing to their crush again. Javier had always given his best to you, he had always tried to do right by you. You were just too blinded by fear then to notice the obvious.

“Was this why you were crying that day when I found you?” Javier questioned again, his mind swirling with questions for you. Deep down, a pang of guilt wrapped around his heart, he must have missed out on something or done something wrong. He messed up like he always did. The worst part of it all was that he never noticed.

======

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

Javier’s heart shattered when he saw your tear-stricken face. You were curled up in a ball on the bed, your hand trying to wipe at the never-ending tears while your whole body shook uncontrollably.

“Cariño,” He called out, “What's wrong? What happened?” Javier asked, hurriedly walking towards you. You immediately stood up from the bed, your back facing him, trying to hide the tears. “Fine.” You managed to croak out. Javier slowly approached you, not wanting to scare you away. “Please talk to me.” He pleaded. You shook your head, “It’s stupid, just an emotional scene on TV”

You turned around, facing him with a smile. His heart broke into a million pieces. He knew you were lying. You were smiling, the traces of the tears long gone. It terrified him how good you were at hiding your emotions. How many times have you simply just covered up those tears with the smile he loved so much and he just never noticed due to his exhaustion from work? Your eyes scanned him up and down before you fell into his embrace. Relieved to see him back in one piece. Javier was by your side again and that was all it matters. The thoughts that haunted you when you were alone vanished when he was with you.

That was the first time Javier had seen you cry. His mind was in a complete mess as he embraced you against him. Disappointment tugged at his heart, did you not trust him? Why did you have to hide your emotions from him? “Tell me what was the reason for this?” His thumb caressed your cheeks which had been covered in tears just a moment ago. You snuggled into the crook of his neck.

“I’m fine Javi, just an emotional scene on TV.”

Javier dropped the subject after, trusting that you would talk to him when you felt better. And yet you never did. However, his workload made it easy to forget that he has yet to find out the reason behind his tears. He didn’t pursue it then, maybe things would have been different if he had.

======

Maybe this is wishful thinkin'

Probably mindless dreamin'

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

You nodded glumly to his question. “Fuck” Javier breathed out, downing yet another glass of whiskey. The urge to stop him from drinking, from intoxicating himself for the better of his health was there, but you knew you didn’t have the right to anymore. Honestly, you could use the alcohol courage too, you were just afraid that you may black out before you finish what had to be done.

“I-” You started but close your mouth again, picking your next words carefully. You met his eyes again, a small happiness in your heart when you felt your heart pace, even after all the time apart, he still had the same effect on you. Glad to know that your feelings for him weren't from the past memories but for Javier himself.

“This is wishful thinking.” You thought out loud. Javier's eyes widened at your words. “What is?” He asked, swirling the whiskey in his hands. The glimmer of hope ignited in his heart, despite everything you had done, he couldn’t help that his heart still yearns for your love. You swallowed, taking a deep breath to calm your erratic heart.

“If you gave me a chance again, I’ll love you right this time.” The words were finally out.

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

His silence only made your nerves worse. “I really wish I could go back and change how things ended between us but I know you can’t” You continued, fidgeting uncontrollably under the table.

When you met his eyes and saw the blank look on his face, your heart shattered into a million pieces. “I understand if you won’t. It’s ok.” You told him, forcing the lump in your throat back down. “I wanted to see you today to apologize, not to ask for a second chance anyways.”

“I’m so sorry,” Javier replied. Your heart combusted at his words, a ringing sound in your ears. It was the very same three words that you had told him when you left him. Now that you heard it for yourself, you finally realize that it hurts more than you had thought. You let out a laugh, feeling foolish to even think Javier would give you another chance. “I get it.” You grinned at him.

As much as Javier wanted to reach out to you and give you the chance to love him again. He couldn’t bring himself to know that he can’t give you what you want. That he can’t choose between you and the DEA. He couldn’t handle it if history was to repeat itself. He didn’t want to go through that pain again. He would rather feel lonely than compromise your safety and let you be his weakness again.

“Thank you for everything, Javier.” You smiled warmly at him, glad to finally lift the burden off your chest. Despite how your heart bled at the fact that the both of you were not going to be anything more. You deserved it. At least, you had the memories of your time together to accompany you.

But this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

All the time

#javier peña x reader #javier peña #javier peña x y/n #javier peña fic #javier peña fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javier pena fic #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier peña angst #javier peña narcos #javier peña x you #javier pena #javier pena imagine #narcos x reader #pedro pascal narcos #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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tteokdoroki · 2 years

Text

“you clean up pretty nicely fer someone who’s such a fuckin’ scrub.”

osamu loves his brother dearly, though his smile doesn’t quite reach his homey brown eyes as he fixes the pretty gold bow tie around his twin brother’s neck. instead of snarling back a playful response, atsumu only blinks at the reflection of himself in the mirror— sweat beading on his brow, Adam’s apple nervously bobbing up and down as he recites his words in his head.

“oi!” osamu snaps his fingers in front of his brother’s face, frown on his identical features while he grabs the lapels of atsumu’s tux. “whas’the matter with you, dickwad—?”

the blonde blinks— cutting the younger twin off. “ya think she’s ready f’me ‘samu?” the great atsumu miya, voted sexiest man in sport by Japan vogue, pride and joy of their national team, the better miya despite how brash and loud he can be…nervous. it hits osamu like a truck. “i mean like…’m a lot to deal with, she’s gonna have’ta deal with the shitty media, with shitty me and ‘m scared, ‘samu. what if she changes her mind about me?”

“don’t be stupid, she’s dealt with your dumbass f’this long. she loves you enough to want your last name.” osamu grunts, ruffling his brother’s perfectly styled hair and even though his ma will probably kill him, ‘tsumu somehow looks better than before. more like himself.

“will ya go and check on her?” the blonde half begs. “it’ll make me feel better.”

osamu obliges, heading straight to a dressing room further down the hall— knocking twice but not expecting to be whacked in the face by a lace garter.

“atsumu miya i told you not to come in here! it’s bad luck to see the bride before the—oh! osamu!”

you look like a bride, no, you’re prettier than most. the sweetheart necklace of your couture wedding gown looks perfect on you, the lacey bodice hugging your figure perfectly. you have that glow of someone who’s just about to be married, who’s going to be happy for the rest of her life— and it only shines brighter because of the sweet little gems accenting everything you wear. osamu miya’s heart nearly stops in its place.

“hope yer not confusing me with my stupid mug of a brother,” he finally says when he enters the room— hand held out to twirl you and watch your dress spin under the warm afternoon sun.

“you’re identical, osamu.”

“but he’s the uglier one,” the younger miya twin says pointedly, making you smile, melting at your gentle laugh while you politely cover your mouth with your manicured hand. “‘n stop calling me that, ‘m not your boss anymore and yer practically family now.”

still giggling, you nod cutely, looking up at osamu and he swears he might die. “sorry ‘samu, it’s a shame about ‘tsumu though; wouldn’t want him to ruin any wedding photos.”

“impossible,” the restaurant owner whispers without thinking. “you’ll be in ‘em, and you look so beautiful.” he twirls you again, as if watching your skirts spin in a brilliant flowing circle will turn back time. take osamu back to when he first met you; when you were meek and shy and looking for a part time job in onigiri miya to make ends meet.

he would have turned back time to a place in your lives where he would have taken you on dates instead of pushing you away the night you confessed to him in the back office. he would have stolen you away on a trip to his favourite ice cream parlour in his hometown to tell you he loved you before atsumu confessed his love to you at a big game in Tokyo with the whole world watching. he would have held your hand a little tighter instead of letting them brush softly while you worked together in the kitchens, he would have walked you home more often, danced with you around his shop after closing time, held your hands between his to warm them up in the cold winters.

he wouldn’t have fought his own twin brother in the onigiri miya staff car park for a chance to make you happy. he wouldn’t have let atsumu pin him down into the gravel, straddling his hips and shaking him by the collar with blood blossoming from the cut on his twin’s lower lip. “i can’t give her up b’fore i’ve even tried, ‘samu. i’m not like you.” atsumu wouldn’t have said, teary eyed in fear of betraying the person he loves most in the world.

then none of you would be here on your wedding day, engaged and soon to be married to the one and only atsumu miya.

then he wouldn’t be picturing you at the end of the makeshift aisle outside his family shrine hyogo, marrying osamu instead.

then osamu wouldn’t be hurting, living a life with only one regret.

“‘samu?” your voice penetrates his thoughts even while so quiet. “do you think he’s ready for me?”

funny how you’ve said the same thing as his twin, you’re both so alike and maybe that makes you perfect for one another. “of course he is, if he wasn’t i’d have to knock some sense into that empty skull of his.” osamu hums when you face him again, biting his tongue. he could have told you how much he had loved you all these years, he could have ruined everything but then he wouldn’t have been able to see that angelic smile grace your lips and watch the spark in your eyes nearly blind him.

“oh, thank you ‘samu…”

you’re about to say more, he’s about to do the same but your bridesmaids rush in shoo him out to add the finishing touches to your bridal look. the door closes in osamu’s face, and he sighs, because although he can’t go back and turn back time…part of him still wishes he fought back, to be then one that loves you now, instead.

#miya osamu x reader #miya osamu x you #miya osamu angst #osamu angst #osamu x reader #osamu drabble #osamu imagine #hq x reader #hq x you #hq angst #hq imagines #osamu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #tteokdoroki #haikyuu drabbles #🗑. aali’s chatroom

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sugarsnappeases · 1 month

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microfic - lesbian tedromeda!! | 2k words | kiki’s delivery service au

this one’s for my angel @stillagoodwitch and also (mainly) for cat (want u to read it aloud to her please, do u think she ships tedromeda??)

Andromeda thought she was doing well, all things considered.

She’d made it to the ocean, flown through the night to a seaside city with no other witches where she could settle down and start her new life, and no lightning bolts had come down from the sky to smite her, no demons had come from the manor to try and drag her back.

She was free and she was doing well.

She had Cat, her cat, all her savings and, of course, her broom and she thought she was making a good first impression on the townspeople, smiling politely and floating overhead in the early morning sun as she looked for somewhere to land.

It was a busy city, busier than anywhere she had ever been - people bustling across the pavements, cars rushing through the streets - but she thought that was probably a good thing, the change, the freedom, the anonymity of crowds.

She moved out into the road a little to fly under a bridge and - swerved as quickly as she could to the left to avoid being run over by a truck that was coming through the other way. Her broom lurched off sideways, her elbow scraping against the wall of the bridge as she flew away from it - directly into the path of another car.

It was louder now, cacophonous even, cars screeching to stops and beeping their horns at her as she tried desperately to get her broom back under control, swinging this way and that and nearly hitting another three cars before the broom sped off down the pavement, Andromeda still clinging on, pedestrians jumping out of her way.

She managed to stop, hovering in the air just around the corner from all the chaos she had caused, and lowered herself, and Cat, who had also been hanging on for dear life, and her savings and her broom, down onto the pavement with a sigh of relief.

Andromeda took a deep breath before looking up at the people who had stopped to stare at her, trying to smile her friendliest smile, which was rather unpractised, trying to look like she knew what she was doing and like she belonged there and like she wasn’t a complete disaster.

She wasn’t entirely sure how well she was succeeding but she smoothed down her hair and after a few moments everyone started to move about their days again.

Turning to Cat, who was perched on her shoulder now, she said “Well, I think-“

“What do you think you’re doing flying around like that?!” Shouted someone who had marched up behind her. Andromeda turned to see what looked like a policeman, still yelling at her, “You could’ve caused a crash! In fact, you’re lucky you didn’t!”

“Sorry, sir,” Andromeda stepped back against the wall behind her, trying to think what she was supposed to do in this kind of situation, it wasn’t really something she had ever been taught to deal with and for all that she was doing well, for all the she was freer and happier, she was started to feel a little overwhelmed, “I’m still getting used to how busy the city is, I just got here today, you see”

The policeman looked unimpressed, “That’s no excuse, you should still know better than to fly around causing a ruckus like that, someone could’ve got seriously hurt!”

Andromeda frowned a little, because surely it hadn’t been that dangerous, she knew she was a good flyer and it wasn’t like it was her fault that the truck had suddenly appeared like that, but she thought it unwise to say, so she let the man continue his tirade.

“Now,” he said finally, pulling out a notebook and flipping it open, “What’s your name and address?”

Andromeda opened her mouth, racking her brains to think of a suitable answer because she wasn’t sure if her name was really hers anymore, she thought her parents would probably have burnt her off the family tree by now, once they had woken up and discovered that she was gone, and she certainly wasn’t going to give out her old address but she didn’t yet have a new one to use instead. She was alone, and she didn’t have a home anymore and she desperately didn’t want this policeman to get in contact with her parents so all that she could come up with to say in the end was, “Um…”

“Don’t even think about lying to me, girl,” the policeman frowned at her, tapping his pen against the top of his notebook, “And hurry it up, I haven’t-“

Just then, he was interrupted by a shout of “Stop! Thief! Somebody stop him! Thief!” and he hurried off around the corner towards the noise, telling Andromeda to wait where she was and not move a muscle.

Andromeda stood there for a second or two, then relaxed her shoulders, turning towards Cat again, “That was lucky”

Cat nodded sagely, agreeing with her, and they wandered away in the other direction, slipping in between the other pedestrians and taking the next turning they came across.

She was taking it as a good sign, a symbol that maybe some god was smiling upon her running away - she knew she had done the right thing, knew she couldn’t have stayed there for a single day longer, she wasn’t sure what she would’ve done if she’d had to come up with a name and address for the policeman.

Running away had been like shedding her name, her last name at least, like an old coat, like a skin that didn’t quite fit right over her bones. The further she had flown from that manor, the more at peace she had felt, something settling in her.

So maybe the two of them, Andy and Cat, weren’t off to the best start but they had still been fairly lucky; at least they hadn’t been hit by any of those cars, at least they didn’t have to give up their old address and at least they weren’t currently being dragged back across the country to Black manor and the parents who Andromeda wasn’t sure would even let her in anymore, to the sisters, who she had been trying quite desperately not to think about, who she wasn’t sure would even want to speak to her anymore.

She had Cat, and her savings, and her broom, and she was going to make a new life for herself. She was free, and she wasn’t going back, and things were going to work out. Andromeda was repeating that like a mantra as she and Cat walked down a side street, trying to decide where to go from there.

“Hey! Hey, wait!” Came a voice from behind them, it wasn’t the policeman, it was a much younger voice, so Andromeda didn’t immediately break into a run, but it put her a little on edge nevertheless. She wasn’t sure what this person wanted so she didn’t turn to face them, continuing to walk onwards,

“Hey, that was pretty good, right?” the person was beside her now, Andromeda peered at them out of the corner of her eye, a person around her age on a bicycle, pedalling along in time with her steps, “I was the one who called thief, it was a distraction, I helped you get away, right?”

Andromeda turned her head slightly to look at them but didn’t reply, still walking along, struggling to suppress the instinctive sneer at the person’s unkempt hair and untidy clothing. She wasn’t her father, she wasn’t a Black, not anymore, but as much as she had shed that skin and felt better for it, there were things that had been drilled into her since birth that would take more than one night on a broomstick and a fifty odd miles to remove.

“Oi Teddy!” someone else called out from a group of teenagers gathered outside a shop, speaking to the person on the bike, who Andy now assumed was named Teddy, “Isn’t it a bit early to be on the prowl?”

Andromeda frowned, wondering whether she should be offended and feeling slightly out of her depth, more than she already had been. Teddy’s only response was a middle finger - frightfully vulgar, said her mother's voice in her head - and Andromeda worried this would lead to some act of violence or something, but the other teenagers barely batted an eye, just laughing in response.

“Shut up,” laughed Teddy back, and then proceeded to nearly crash into a lamppost because they hadn’t been concentrating on the road in front of them. Andromeda lips twitched, wanting to smile in spite of herself, as she continued to walk on, watching all of this out of the corner of her eye and studiously pretending that she wasn’t.

Teddy cycled a little quicker to catch up with her again, “Hey, can I have a look at your broom? It’s so cool that you can fly like that”

Andromeda kept walking, acting like she hadn’t even heard. She wasn’t used to speaking with people her age, or with anyone who wasn’t her family really, and she didn’t know how she was supposed to behave. There was a part of her that found this all quite endearing, but it was being drowned out by panic and frustration and an insistent need to be alone.

“Please could I just have a quick look?” Teddy continued, undeterred by her lack of response, “I love flying, I just wanna see what your broom is like - It could be payment for how I helped you out with the policeman”

At that, Andromeda stopped, turning sharply to look at the person still cycling beside her.

“I didn’t ask for your help!” she said, a little angry now, probably a little irrationally, she had never been good at controlling her temper, she was a Black after all, or she used to be, “I didn’t want your help. I suppose I have to thank you for it now but it was rude of you to not even introduce yourself”

Andromeda started walking again, frustrated at herself for snapping like that but also frustrated when out of the corner of her eye she saw Teddy recover from their moment of shock and grin, wide and bright, pedalling to get beside her again.

“I’m Ted,” they said, still smiling, and Andromeda didn’t know why that made her feel all warm inside, like that smile could solve all her problems, could calm the stormy seas that were constantly waging war on her, trying to pull her under. Then Ted, not Teddy, which must be a nickname, spoke again, “Now I’ve introduced myself, can I please have a look at your broom? Pretty please?”

Andromeda huffed, a bit discomfited by how friendly they were despite her rudeness, a bit annoyed by their persistence, entirely out her depth and clinging on to her pride and her anger like they were life jackets, a last bastion of familiarity in this new life where everything was new.

“No,” she snapped, harsh and definitive, “Leave me alone.”

She felt a bit pathetic as she stomped away, unsure why she had gotten so worked up like that, her anger gone almost as soon as it had arrived, disappointed in herself and the way she had behaved, worried that she was still too much like her family, like she would never be able to escape them even as she left them behind.

Andromeda didn’t know how she was meant to interact with this person, or any person really, she was beginning to worry that she didn’t know anything at all, overwhelmed by the newness of the city, the crowds and the buildings and the sense that she was on the outside, looking in on something that she might never be able to be a part of, uncomfortable with how Ted was trying to invite her in.

She turned a corner and got on her broom, flying away quickly and aimlessly, confused and maybe a little upset but mostly at herself. Andromeda, with Cat sat on the handle of the broom now, wondered whether this new life might be just a tad more difficult than she had first anticipated.

#they’re lesbians bc i say so xoxoxo #kiki and tombo tedromeda variants of all time!!!! you agree!!!!!!!!#haven’t figured out the logistics of this properly yet but like. might write more one day who knows #also i’m on a train rn and the service is so shoddy ive had to format this twice already might give up if this doesn’t work #anyway this is for sude ily lots and lots <33 #andromeda black #andromeda tonks #ted tonks #tedromeda #lesbian tedromeda #kara’s incy wincy fics

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96rh · 5 months

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hey folksss!! im ser n im super hyped to get to know everyone + also bring ryu han to the dash. i have a skeleton of a profile here / an intro underneath w some quickfire plot ideas but otherwise feel free to like this and i'll hit u up to plot, or alternatively feel free to dm me first :^)

ryu han, 27, 2nd year masters' student in criminal law currently living in yellow hall with the power of necromancy, commitee member of together for daehan

only son of the ryu family, a pretty big name in the corporation world (idk what they do exactly but they'own a conglomerate so we can start there)

his family is also notorious for being in a lot of shady dealings though, of course, a paper trail is rarely left so there's never quite enough evidence to accuse them of anything

shoved into the law division of the company where his abilities manifested at 11 during a hit-and-run case (details withheld but it wasn't pretty)

linked his app above regarding his powers but tldr (tldr in a tldr ik its outrageous sorry) he can raise the undead momentarily and manipulate them

as the only one with an ability in his family his parents were super stoked until he left home when he was around 18 because he disagreed with his family's criminal actions and their moral alignments

kindaaa big news in the business world that followed with a lot of "wow he isn't like his parents maybe there's some hope left for them"

in reality, his leaving-the-family was basically orchestrated to get the public slash ryu family enemies on his side. he's still loyal to them in every way, receives money from them, is in contact with them etc but maintains a facade that he lives away on money he earned solely by himself

post-undergrad, started to intern (and still does) at a not-so-big-deal law firm (that pay for his residence, living cost etc but this is basically a paper law firm that's controlled by his family in the end. people just don't know)

takes part in a lot of cases that aren't really national news but are subtler parts of his family's plans ie the factory worker who saw something they shouldn't have getting into a truck accident, the disappearance of a secretary who questioned too much -- he "uses" his power to mitigate the fallouts of those deaths ie by telling the families he communicated with the undead, passing on last words etc but it's just all soppy stuff to get them off their trail

or he summons the undead so they can do the dirty work for him .. the feeling of blood on his hands is sort of physically and emotionally difficult to wash off

literally at university so he can make a bigger name for himself (hence his participation in student politics) and get deeper into the legal system for his parents @_@ can't really imagine a life without them nor is he willing to acknowledge how deeply evil his whole family is but he'll cross that bridge when gets to it

spoiler alert: he is never getting to that bridge

personality wise he kinda thrives off making people feel subtly uncomfortable. doesn't break eye contact when talking, makes off-handed comments that you only realise the biting undertones of five minutes after you leave the conversation, smiles a little too much and especially at the wrong times. not really likeable, not really dislikable, either

all this to say he seems like a walking paradox. you might know he renounced his family's evil ways and chose the life of a just, morally righteous lawyer -- but why does it seem like there's something inconsistently unsettling about him?

regarding how much guilt he feels about participating in his family's dirty dealings -- growing up going to church every sunday means there's a lot to grapple with in terms of religious guilt and whether he's doomed for hell but once again he will cross that bridge when he gets to it and he is never getting to it. it's much easier to pretend he doesn't feel bad and that evil is rooted in nature, not nurture.

quickfire plots include: someone who knew him before he "left" his family; someone who's understandably suspicious of him but can't seem to figure out why; alternatively someone who completely believes in his facade and thinks he's the absolute apostle of justice; ex-friends that fell apart; an ex-friend whose relationship deterotation between them hurt a pinch too much; fwbs; someone he has a soft spot for because they remind him of his younger sister (who's currently 15); someone who he leans on when he overexerts himself and ends up sick; someone who wants to use him to get to his family; someone who keeps seeing him with nosebleeds in the library and isn't sure how much more spare tissue they have left

#nm:intro #disc available on req too :^)#sry miss yap a lot has entered the chat

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pinkanonwrites · 2 years

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Howdy do~! I would like to request a headcannon in which the Dorm Leaders start to fall for a fem! s/o who is like a Disney princess: beautiful, sweet, gentle and loving. Super fluff, please! Thanks!

Absolutely! I hope you enjoy!

Fluff, Fem Reader

At first, he's just relieved that there's finally someone around him with some dang manners. After all his time spent trying to wrangle his troublesome housemates it's such a breath of fresh air to be around someone polite, delicate, and endlessly kind. He's not sure exactly when that sense of relief and appreciation turned into love, but boy did it hit him like a runaway truck when he finally realized.

Riddle is pretty worried about you ever seeing his more messy and out-of-control sides, particularly his temper. He thinks he may disappoint you if he's unable to live up to the gentlemanly image he feels he's supposed to portray, so it'll take some nudging and encouragement from you to help him become less judgemental of his own emotions.

He invites you to tend to the hedgehogs with him often, mainly so he can watch how you interact with them. You're so gentle, carefully picking up and cooing at each one as you scratch them behind the ears with a single index finger. When you finally point out that he's been watching you instead of working the whole time he goes red up to the tips of his own ears.

You're way too nice for your own good in Leona's eyes. Don't you know how many people will take advantage of someone so kind and forgiving? Sheesh, guess he's gotta look out for you to make sure you don't get yourself into any trouble being stupidly nice.

Truthfully, a little bitty part of him admires how you've managed to stay so loving in the face of so much frustration and disappointment in the world, but he's far too jaded himself to fully join you. You balance out his general pessimism really well, and though it may not be immediately obvious, he has his own protective streak when it comes to defending that kindness as well.

He really doesn't want you to meet his family, even if you're excited about it. Cheka is okay, surprisingly, being a five-year-old and all. But he hates the idea of bringing you home to have you ogled and judged by his family's staff the same way they did to him. His worst fear is they'll start saying the things he always secretly knew, that you're far too good for him, that you deserve much better.

Sorry, but Azul absolutely tried to take advantage of your kindness when the two of you first met to use to his advantage. He at least has the decency to feel a tiny bit guilty about it now, but there's no turning back the clock, now is there?

The two of you seem like polar opposites to an outside observer. You're the good cop to Azul's bad cop, the sugar to his spice, the oh-so delicate and naive princess caught in the clutches of the conniving octopus. What those people don't realize, however, is just how completely soft and smitten Azul is for you. Just a few sweet words turn him to putty in your hands.

If it were up to Azul, you'd never be stuck alone anywhere with Jade or Floyd, and gods forbid you're ever with both. He's so protective of you, especially from those troublesome eels. What secrets about him would they spill to you as soon as his back was turned, how long before Floyd decided to just gobble you up like a true wild moray? No, he'll make sure that you're never subjected for too long to their dangerous antics.

He's so open about hyping you up and giving you compliments that it can almost get a bit embarrassing sometimes. That's just his nature though! Kalim is completely unashamed to point out the best traits in people when he sees them, and in his eyes you have a lot of really incredible traits worth complimenting!

He can't help but spoil you, it's another thing in his nature that you just have to learn to take in stride. Parties and parades, food and fireworks, outings and outfits, Kalim is delighted to give you everything you could ever want and more. When it's going to you, he knows it will be appreciated.

You quickly becomes the 'it' couple around town, as everyone can see just how smitten the two of you are for each other. It makes sense that someone as lighthearted and bright as Kalim would attract similar kindness, so even though you're often the talk of the town, no one has a bad thing to say about the two of you.

I don't think it's much of a shocker that Vil doesn't really like you very much when the two of you first meet. He's an industry professional, used to catty models and hypercompetitive actors and actresses, so when he he meets someone so forthright and genuine as yourself he thinks it most certainly has to be a facade for something more nefarious. It'll take a really long time for that paranoia to subside.

Once it does, however? Oh, he's definitely the most protective of you on this list. You're always so gentle and kind to everyone, looking around with that dopey, sweet baby-lamb expression? The paparazzi would eat you alive. No worries, darling, Vil's here to make sure no one tries to get you into any trouble.

He love, love, loves picking out makeup and outfits for you. WIth other people it feels like a chore, but your natural beauty makes you suited for everything, any style, any coordinations. You two have a lot of couples clothes and matching outfits together, and he loves showing you off.

Genuinely thinks you're too good to be true. There's gotta be a catch, right? You can't possibly be this perfect, like a dream anime waifu straight from a shoujo anime. A true Tohru Honda type can't possibly exist, can she? One that's kind and patient and cares for his well being?

But yes, you're real, and in Idia's eyes you are far too good for a weeb like himself. Why would a princess pick an otaku shut in when there's so many S-Tier guys at NRC? He just doesn't get it, no matter how often you hype him up.

Be that as it may, Idia isn't the type to just go and give you up, either. You're too rare a drop to risk anyone else looting while he's off in his own little world. He may not be able to be your knight in shining armor out on the battlefield, but he'll always be your man in the chair, ready to help you at a moment's notice should you ever need it.

Treats you like the princess you are, even if you aren't technically royalty. Malleus is well trained in high-society manner, so don't expect him to be on anything but his absolute best and most princely behavior whenever he's interacting with you.

He can't help but treat you like you're a little bit delicate, regardless of whatever physical strength or prowess you may possess. He feels inclined to protect you, to protect your sweet and noble nature from the world's cruelties, to offer you a gentleman's hand to hold and walk with him as he tours you around the many gargoyles at Night Raven College.

He's really eager to introduce you to his family, perhaps it will be a bit before you're able to meet his grandmother, but you'll quickly become well-acquainted with Lilia, Silver, and Sebek. Malleus doesn't have a lot of people in his life, so he desperately wants the few he has to get along well. Lucky for him you're incredibly hard to dislike, and Lilia takes to you like you're his new daughter-in-law in an instant.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst imagines #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #my writing #anon #fluff

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livviem-009 · 9 months

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Mephisto - Sherliam & Isekai'd adopted daughter! reader

~~~~~~~~

Summary: You had a bad dream about your past life and you reflect on what has happened to you and judge your own worth. Was this reality real or were selfish for projecting your own desires? A/N: This fic is half venting and half wish fulfillment. I wrote this to let some things out about what happened earlier. The title of this one is based on the song Mephisto by QUEEN BEE because it explains my feelings about my favorite characters. Trigger Warning: Suicide and Existentialism.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N felt her senses heightened as she fell asleep in her dream again. Her past life was foggy, but it was all too familiar. She feels like a puzzle out of place, a monster from dark origins, and everyone wants her gone. She was content with running away, not noticing the trucks that sent her to this new world. The one from her favorite manga, the one thing keeping her happy and inspiring her through her darkest times. But now she questions herself. Everything about this world is fictional; how was she going to handle things when the fantasy was over? She woke up in a cold sweat and drank the glass of water beside her.

"It’s just a dream, Y/N, it’s just a dream!" She tells herself before sneaking around the mansion to the bathroom.

Everyone’s been so kind to her since she got there, but she was mostly close to William. He adopted her into the family with no hesitation, taught her fencing, and saw her as a competent person even though she made mistakes. Y/N was even close to Sherlock Holmes himself and related to him through his thrill-seeking energy. But they aren’t real, right? After all, she was aware that this was a serialized manga series based on a very old book series. So often, these thoughts pile up in her head, but she doesn’t care since she is having fun. She just enjoyed meeting the characters and subtly thanking them for just existing.

‘But... Do real people say that? ’

Looking up at the mirror in the bathroom, she sees herself. This isn’t what she looks like in the real world. She was boring and weird in the real world, and no one wanted to be near her. Her ranting over characters only seems to push the people in her life away, especially her parents. Oh, how she remembered her father reprimanding her for watching anime instead of learning her new lessons for the new school year. Instead of encouraging her by introducing stuff that is both appealing and educational for her, like a nice person politely suggesting something interesting, Of course, it had to be shoved down, and it was taken as Y/N’s fault for ‘not fitting in’ and ‘being a weirdo. Sure, let your own daughter hate everything in her life just so you can feel superior for putting down others.

‘Did I do anything wrong? ’

They said that to help her, right? Y/N knows that she’s weird, and her family said that they loved her. But why were they trying to hide her so much? They didn’t even know that it got to the point that her darkness manifested inside her. She isn’t perfect, but did they lie about actually loving her?

‘Why... Does this hurt? ’

One day, she gets interested in something that gives her joy. William James Moriarty was her idol, her role model for how to be kind, and someone to admire. He was imperfect, but his nature was in the right place. He was a capable man who would answer for his sins, and after all that misery and despair, his life finally became happy after he was saved by the people he met along the way. To her, he was everything she wanted to be and more. He was admirable for living on

‘... But I’m not him.

Y/N was nothing like that. Reading through each panel, she rooted for him to succeed and wanted him to see how he was deserving of living in the new world he sought to create. For her, he had to live with Sherlock. When she was reborn into their world from the beginning, she met the younger version of them as the Rockwells only daughter. She turned to him for guidance. When she hits her teen years, her happiness stems from solving cases after school with Sherlock and John. She admired the two men; they were so different yet on the same page. Eventually, that admiration turned into a love between parents and child. But her dilemma comes from a different thought: she knew this was fake, so did she just replace her real family and world just for a fantasy to be happy?

‘Selfish…’

Her tears fell. Y/N was selfish. She’d replace her own family—such a selfish wish to be granted by characters who were better than her. Compared to them, she was only an outsider. She only knew how their story ended, and yet, why was she given the opportunity to live with them? Looking up at the mirror again, her face fell. No one truly loved her there; this was the reality she was running away from. No matter what world she lives in, no one really loves her, and she’ll never belong. Standing up, Y/N sneakily went to the weapon room and grabbed a gun.

‘Maybe this will wake me up. Why did I get reincarnated? Why were Liam and Sherly nice to a weirdo fan like me? ’

Her emotions felt numb as she walked towards the open window. Her hair was a mess from crying, but she didn’t care anymore. As she felt the cold night breeze blow through her hair, she adjusted her gun and put it on her head. This opportunity was a gift. Why did someone like her get to be happy while she herself was a monster? All she ever cared about was the lives of people who weren’t real, to the point where she doesn’t care about herself anymore. Before the girl could make the fatal mistake, she was yanked off the window and hit the cold, hard ground.

"What are you doing?" A frantic and scared voice rang out, making her freeze.

Two pairs of arms wrapped around her, giving her a head pat. Hot tears fell as Y/N recognized their voices. William and Sherlock saved her, didn’t they? The girl realized that, while they may be fictional, the feelings she felt for them were real. Every hardship they face inspires her to keep moving on. That’s why she was attached to them; they were her escape and hope. They’re the ones making her stronger, and just living makes her feel better. It’s what people who love you do for you. No matter what, the world she’s in is her reality now. Y/N’s old life was behind her since this world was a blessing and another chance to move on. She hugged her favorite characters close, feeling their warmth as she lost herself in the stories they shared.

"Y/N, are you okay now?" Sherlock asked, looking down.

His little girl was tired from crying. William wanted to stay with the both of them, so they just hugged until sunrise.

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori #william james moriarty #sherlock holmes #sherliam #yn #self-insert #moriarty the patriot x reader #ymn #warning: suicide #/venting #i cried while writing this #some existentialism #isekai au

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aspenwritesstuff · 1 year

Text

Part Four: Star Pupil

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🌹 taglist: @drhsthl @propertyoftoru

He walked towards the open door of your room, smiling gently as the same smell that lingered on your clothing filled his nostrils - heavy floral notes accompanied by something more savory…sandalwood, maybe? He’d considered asking you what perfume you wore when you were awake, but quickly shook his head to remove the thought. What a weird thing to ask.

🌹 warnings: alcohol consumption, negative self talk/subconscious insecurity, events occuring whilst asleep (being tucked in, nothing nefarious!), love interests are a lil dumb dumb

🌹 wc: 3.3k

🌹 a/n: because of you guys’ sweet feedback I was hit with sudden motivation to work on this next part. 🥺 I'm not kidding when I say reblogs and comments add fuel to the my creative spark. thank you, as always, for loving my work and supporting it. Feedback and likes and comments just make me so “🥰❤️💕” and I appreciate you all so much. You’re very dear to me. I hope you enjoy this new part, and I eagerly await your responses!

The last time Felix was this nervous was the day he’d told his family he was moving away.

The familiarity of the bar did little to nothing for the butterflies overtaking his stomach as he skimmed the groups of people for the woman of his dreams.

He heard her before he saw her, the laugh he was so accustomed to hearing from across the bar cutting through the chatter of the other patrons instantly bringing a smile to his lips.

That was, until he remembered he actually needed to speak with her.

The smile was soon replaced with a slight frown, brows pulling together as he debated just walking back out to the truck and calling it a night - he made it this far, that’s good enough. Right?

He could already picture your disapproving scowl and the shake of your head as you chastised him for giving up so quickly. The thought of disappointing you gave him courage, somehow, as he straightened his back and took a deep breath.

As luck would have it, there was an empty seat on the barstool directly next to Ryujin. Luckier yet, she didn’t seem bothered by Felix’s taking it - he honestly wasn’t even sure if she’d noticed his presence.

She held her hand up and caught the attention of the barkeep on duty, politely requesting a refill of her drink. Within a few minutes, a new glass of the yellow-pink ombré was set on a fresh coaster in front of her.

“Maui Sunset?” Felix asked, using his knowledge of drinks to his advantage in an attempt to jump start conversation.

She turned to him with wide eyes, smiling politely before nodding. Felix returned the gesture, gulping hard as though to keep the aforementioned butterflies from escaping through his lips before raising a hand himself - ordering the same.

She cocked her head at this, watching as the bartender set an identical beverage in front of Felix. He took a sip, glancing towards her out of the corner of his eye before chuckling.

“What? Is it really so strange?”

“I mean, no, I—“ she cut herself off, sipping at her own beverage before continuing, “I’m just not used to seeing a man so unconcerned with ordering a —“ she stopped suddenly again, flushing slightly as she looked down.

“Girly drink?” Felix offered, smirking innocently at her nervous expression. She nodded again, giving an apologetic upturn of her lips as he kept speaking, “I used to be self-conscious, y’know.”

“Oh?” She questioned, turning her body towards him as she grew more interested in the man she hadn’t bothered to remember the name of before.

“Mhm,” he continued after another sip, “My friends would tease me - still do, actually!”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” she asked, tilting her head to the side after mimicking his action.

“Used to,” he admitted sheepishly, stirring his drink with the black plastic stir-stick, blending the hues into a vibrant orange.

“What changed?” she was hooked now, leaning forward into her hand - elbow on the counter - as she hung on every word.

“I figured that it’s not my problem that they’ve got some weird vendetta against sweet things,” he said with a shrug, feigning indifference despite the way his heart raced at her newfound proximity, “Not my fault that I like myself enough not to pretend to like the other things.”

Ryujin threw her head back and laughed, “I actually feel the same!” Her face still held the mirth of her outburst, in the form of a grin, as she explained, “My friends will always order shots when they wanna celebrate, but I hate the way tequila tastes. They tease me for opting out,” she took another drink, watching Felix carefully as he took in each word, “But I’d rather spend my money and time with something I enjoy.”

Felix’s heart lurched in his chest as she smiled at him, hope filling the deepest crevices of his mind as he finished off his drink, “I’m really glad you agree. You seem really nice,” he admitted, anxious enough that he may as well have confessed.

“So do you,” she agreed, still giving him a sweet smile.

“I hate to cut this short, but I only had time for one drink before heading out,” Felix spoke genuinely, feeling guilty for having such a joyful moment while you waited alone in the car.

“Aw, really?” Ryujin pouted, lower lip jutting out sending a jolt straight into Felix’s heart, “I was hoping to talk more! You’re different, I think.”

“If you’d like - it’s fine if not -“ he inserted the second bit as an assurance, doing his best to come off as the sweet man he truly was, “ - I could give you my number?”

Ryujin nodded quickly, pulling out her phone and handing it to Felix - who did an excellent job at containing the giant smile he could feel twitching at the corners of his lips as he handed it back to her.

“Felix, huh?” she murmured, meeting his eyes once more as she gave him a final smile, “I’m Ryujin.”

Felix, of course, knew this. But he grinned brightly in response, giving a sweet, “Pleasure to meet you,” before walking towards the exit - allowing his excitement to show the second the door closed behind him.

You’d just begun to consider catching a nap when a bouncing head of blonde illuminated under the neon caught your attention. Judging by the smile on the attached face, you found it easy to assume that it went well.

As Felix climbed into the driver’s seat of the truck, the expectant glimmer in his eyes made you ask him anyways.

“So, how was it?”

As soon as you’d asked, he lit up. Nearly wiggling in his seat as he spoke, he reminded you of an excited schoolgirl being asked to the prom.

He explained from start to finish, including how nervous he was to approach at all. When he told you about relating to her by choice of drink, you couldn’t help the swell of pride in your chest. He’d found his opening, without you guiding him.

“She seemed to really want me to stick around, y/n!” he beamed.

“You should offer classes, your advice really works!” he gushed.

“The execution was just as important, Felix,” you deadpanned, “I may be an okay teacher, but you’re a star pupil!”

“Really?” His eyes were on the road, but sparkling nonetheless as he received your praise.

“Really,” you affirmed, unable to contain your own grin at the sight of his contagious smile.

“I was so nervous,” he admitted, chewing on his lower lip, “I still kind of am. What if she doesn’t get back to me? And then she sees that I’m a bartender and feels awkward? And then she’ll think I’m a creep and then —“

“Felix,” you interrupted, cocking a brow as he simply continued, drumming his fingers anxiously on the center console.

“She’s gonna avoid the bar at all costs and, oh god, what if I messed up and ruined my chances? I knew I should’ve had you come in with me —“ the speed of his fingertips accelerated as he spiraled into his own doubt - though you could’ve felt annoyed, you instead found yourself wishing you could pull him from his mind.

“Felix!”

“I always end up having done something irritating when I think everything’s fine, she probably thinks I’m just weird and annoying and—“

“Lixie…” you placed your hand on top of his, ceasing the soft thumps alongside his ramblings. He gave a sideways glance towards you, panic evident despite the brevity of the eye contact, “You did just fine. You’re fine. Breathe.”

And he did. As felt his hand relax beneath yours, you gave it a reassuring squeeze. His long exhale did wonders for the worry you had for him.

It was difficult for you, seeing him upset. Unnatural, really, to watch someone so full of sunshine and love be shrouded in stormclouds.

Now content that he wouldn’t continue his self-depreciating tangent, you pulled your hand back - suddenly self-conscious at how easily it came for you to offer him such an intimate comfort after such a short time.

He was just so comfortable and easygoing, it came so naturally to ground him into reality however you could. Still, though, the awkwardness you helped Felix get away from seemed to take residence in your own mind.

“I’m sorry—“ you’d started, ready to try to explain why you’d even consider doing what you had.

“Thank you—“ he said at the same time, genuine gratitude thickening his tone with emotion.

“Thank you?” you peered at his profile, watching as the streetlights briefly illuminated his features before he faded back into the dark.

“Well, yeah,” he spoke as though it should be the most obvious reaction, “Sometimes my mind gets away from me, y’know?”

You hummed, understanding completely how it felt to be aware of your own contributions to your fears but completely helpless to stop it. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak again, still feeling uncomfortable with yourself despite his thanks.

The cab of the truck was peaceful, quiet but not disconcertingly so, with tire treads against concrete providing a stable white-noise that encouraged the wandering of your mind. Felix had said it was fine, even having seemed to be thankful for your affectionate touch, so why did your cheeks stay flushed with embarrassment? You huffed quietly, both irritated and resigned, before pressing the side of your head against the cool window in an attempt to fight off the lingering warmth in your cheeks.

Felix flicked on the radio, singing along softly - and an octave deeper - to the pop song that played, seemingly content to settle into the wordless drive with you. It didn’t feel unpleasant to share the quiet - rather than discomfort, the silence itself was tranquil. You quickly found your eyelids drooping as you listened to Felix’s voice, fighting with every fiber of your being to stay awake.

The warm glow of streetlights passing you by grew fuzzier, Felix's voice further away, and the flush of your cheeks all but disappeared as sleep crept it's way into your bones.

Jisung’s familiar grin brought a matching one to Felix’s features as the former exited your apartment building, spotting the truck easily and making a beeline towards it. Felix had noticed your lack of consciousness as he parked, the peaceful look on your face making him immediately feel guilty at the thought of rousing you from sleep.

He wasn’t sure that he’d ever seen you look so completely unbothered, each worry line of your face ceasing to exist while you slept. Your lips were slightly parted, typical frown nowhere to be seen as your steady, rhythmic breathing became audible only at the cut of the truck’s engine. He’d reached out to touch your shoulder, hoping to wake you but stopping short at the soft sigh of content you produced whilst curling further into yourself.

He absolutely could not be the one to interrupt that.

He’d shot a quick text to Jisung, having gotten his number from you after being too nervous to ask following the near-brawl of their meeting, snapping a photo of your sleeping frame to send along with a straightforward, ‘help.’

Luckily, Jisung had been waiting at the apartment for your return. He’d laughed upon seeing the text, staring at the photo of your sleeping face with a mixture of affection and humor. He supposed he should’ve warned Felix about the effect car-rides seemed to have on you - but, then again, he wouldn’t have this absolute gold-mine of teasing material now if he had.

Felix got out of the driver’s seat and met with him outside of your door, catching a glimpse of your peaceful face through the slightly-fogged glass bringing a sweet look into his eyes. He’d grown quite fond of you in your short time together. He’d almost begun to feel a sense of responsibility for you; for your safety, for your happiness - for you, in general.

Jisung greeted him warmly, giving one of those hugs that men seemed to think was somehow more macho than just embracing the other - with hands clasped in a prolonged high-five between them and a chaste pat on the back before releasing contact.

“She’s really out, huh?” he chuckled, peering past Felix to your sleeping face.

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, turning to look towards you as well, “I swear, she was awake one second –”

“And completely zonked the next?” Jisung laughed, reaching for the door. As he pulled it open, your body slumped towards the now-open space you’d once been resting your weight against.

“Shit!” Felix hissed, lurching forward as he watched gravity betray your body in slow-motion. The image his mind conjured of you colliding with the concrete made his chest ache, the mere concept of harm befalling you making him feel as though he could burst into tears.

Without taking the time to think, Felix ducked down, opening the arm closest to you as panic brought a bile to his throat. The fear kept his heart racing, even as your cheek made contact with his shoulder, though his sigh of relief would keep anyone from knowing. He stood slowly, raising you from what had to be an uncomfortable angle to your previously assumed position - save for your head, which now rested in the crook of his neck rather than against the window of his truck - and shot Jisung a half-serious glare.

“Fuck, that was stupid, huh?” he asked, a nervous laugh covering the actual shame he felt for almost busting your face. Felix didn’t justify that with a response, knowing - or, at least, hoping - that Han wouldn’t have purposefully done something to hurt you. That didn’t stop him from feeling just a tinge of anger towards him, though.

“No harm done,” Felix whispered, giving him a nod before turning back to your frame. The blonde was much stronger than he looked, linking his free arm under your leg to pull you completely from the cab. You stirred slightly, murmuring something completely unintelligible in a breathy, sleep filled tone as Felix kicked the door shut behind him.

“You got her?” Han asked, obviously surprised by the strength of the man before him. Felix gave him a nod before jerking his chin towards the door to the complex.

“Mhm, can you get the door?” Felix had wanted to say something snide, commenting on the irony of his concern after nearly introducing you to the pavement. Han gave a thumbs up before jogging back to the door - Felix in tow with you cradled in his arms, passing by him through the newly opened door.

Han squeezed past the two of you in the narrow entryway, climbing the steps with the occasional glance back to ensure Felix wasn’t experiencing a struggle with your dead-weighted sleeping figure. To his surprise, Felix seemed completely unbothered, climbing the steps with the speed of someone unencumbered by another person’s body.

They made it to your door in silence, save for your occasional nonsensical mumble. Han held the door open wide, stepping aside to allow Felix as much ease as possible to get you inside. The latter held your head closer, exercising extreme caution so as not to wake you up with a doorframe to the skull, side-stepping into the apartment with Han close behind.

“Where’s her room?” he aired his question with his hand still gently supporting the back of your head, looking up towards Han to notice which direction he pointed in, “Thanks.”

Your bed being unmade was a stroke of luck, giving Felix a much easier future of getting you tucked under the covers. He approached the side of the mattress, placing your legs down first before leaning down with you to prevent any sudden jolt pulling you from dreamland. With painstakingly careful movements, he slid his hand out from under your hair and went to pull away.

He was nearly completely removed from you when your fist clenched around the collar of his shirt, tightening with a desperation he hadn’t once seen from you. He turned to look at your face, wondering if you’d woken up and were upset that he’d entered your room without asking, only for you to still be unconscious. The furrow between your brows had returned, though - and your lips had pulled downwards into a frown, lower lip trembling slightly.

“What did I do..?” you mumbled, sleepiness weighing down what otherwise would’ve been a heart-wrenching whine. Felix tilted his head as he knelt at the edge of your bed, cautiously lifting a hand to brush a few strands of hair from your face. His mind raced as he wondered what was plaguing your dreams, chest aching as he realized that your peaceful rest was being plagued by worry.

“What?” he asked softly, just in case you were conscious enough to need a reply, “What could you have done wrong?” his words came out sweeter than candy, his eyes never once leaving your face - searching for any inkling of consciousness.

“I tried…” you whispered, head lolling to the side, “Tried my best…”

“I’m sure you did…” he assured, confusion evident in the upwards lilt of his voice. He moved his hand back from your face as he leaned down to pull off your shoes, only to be stopped by the grip you still held on his shirt.

“Sorry…not enough…I can be more…” these phrases trailed off into silence, leaving more questions than answers in their wake as your grip relaxed on his collar, leading him to hope the worst was over. He felt his heart break a little at the sight of your mournful expression, breaths coming quicker as your head thrashed in the opposite direction.

“You’re more than enough, y/n,” his voice was thick as he fought tears of his own, wondering who or what had ever made you feel the need to apologize for feeling less than what you were, “I promise.”

He moved away for a moment to finally remove your shoes, setting them on the floor next to the bed before pulling the comforter over your shoulders. He placed his hand on your covered back and, feeling your muscles relax under the well-intentioned touch, began to rub small circles between your shoulderblades. Your breathing slowed, the affectionate motion driving away the negative thoughts your subconscious had dragged into your dreams, bringing Felix a wave of relief.

As soon as he was content that you were no longer in distress, his hand fell back to his side. He stood, grabbing your shoes to place by the entrance as he made his way to the hallway - pausing in the doorframe to send you one last glassy-eyed glance.

“You really are, y’know,” he spoke softly, watching the rise and fall of your breathing from beneath the blankets, “More than enough.”

With that, he pulled your door shut behind him and said his goodbyes to Jisung. It wasn’t until he was back in his truck that he allowed his emotions to swell. A single tear fell from his eye as he recalled the pain in your eyes whilst you apologized to an unseen force.

That moment fully cemented his already firm intentions; however it had gone from a bet to a personal mission.

Love wasn’t dead, despite whatever had happened that made you believe so.

Love wasn’t dead, despite the anguish in your unconscious ramblings.

Love wasn’t dead, and he desperately - for your sake now, rather than his own - needed to prove you wrong.

#lee felix x reader #lee felix x you #lee felix fanfiction #skz fic #stray kids romance #lee felix romance #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #prove me wrong #skz fluff #skz angst #skz smut #lee felix smut #lee felix fluff #author is bad at tagging #feedback appreciated

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