#thing my brain does

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

[lazylittledragon]

lately i've been drinking orange juice and eating fruit and going outside in the sun and coincidentally 10-20% of my depression has vanished. must be witchcraft

#ramble #thank you to everyone who eased my smoothie anxiety #idk how i didn't realise it was bs sooner it makes NO sense #yes doing all the Health Things like getting nutrients and drinking water doesn't fix the way my adhd brain is wired #it does help though

[lazycranberrydoodles]

english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

#so the part of the book where kid hua cheng suddenly sits bolt upright #because he senses something in the room #and this 7 year old is just 👁️👁️ and radiating immense killing intent #hes so fucking funny 😭 #i love him being weird and strange and offputting #‘dianxia why does the high schooler that hangs around your house sometimes have glowing red eyes and know things he definitely shouldnt #and crush things into dust with his bare hands and seem to hate the sun an-‘ mind your own fucking business #drawing baby hc was so much fun i hope i do it again soon #the secret is that xie lian is JUST as deeply weird as his husband but in a less obvious and threatening manner. #guy who has to keep his internal monologue internal because he is thinking things like “wouldnt wanna get choked by those hands!” #out of every god character he is the one who seems to have changed the most from immortality #dying presumably hundreds of times and being alone for hundreds of years does something to your brain #“xiao hua why does your cultivator talk weird and wear the same clothes and eat the same food and-” HE IS AUTISTIC!!!! AND JADED BY THE #PASSAGE OF CENTURIES!!! YOULL NEVER KNOW WHICH IS WHICH!! #my art #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #art #tgcf meme #mxtx #天官赐福 #lmao #hob #heaven official's blessing #the people have spoken...

[hopefulsapphic]

i'm an early seasons steve harrington apologist. sorry. he was not a bad person he was not a bad boyfriend he was literally just 17

#he wasn't even that bad. and he apologized when he was #also he literally thought his gf was cheating on him. with a guy who took sneaky pics of her like. valid actually sorry #and season 2??? why does he call himself a shitty boyfriend he was actually so sweet??? #a little emotionally stunted maybe sure but he was a teenage boy trying his best #every time i rewatch i'm like what was everyone on about he's literally fine. i think ppl blow his king steve phase way out of proportion #steve harrington #stranger things #thoughts from my brain #1k

[1caru]

Living Ghost

(quick explanation for my buddies who don’t know Zelda lore: Thanks to wacky time space shenanigans this Link has ended up in a time period long after the events of the games he was in.  He stumbles across his own grave and reunites with a spirit he befriended as a kid who has been watching over said grave.  Poor guy just can’t catch a break when it comes to time shenanigans.)

EDIT: I wrote a short sequel to this!  You can read it here

#linked universe #lu time #linkeduniverse #skull kid #my art #yeah im amazed i finished a comic too #im telling you zelda does things to my brain chemistry

[anniilaugh]

2 years worth of wild moss/seaweed overgrowth in salty sea air. Sanji malfunctions.

@uniquetosmbody had such a galaxy brain prompt in twitter and my samurai aesthetics loving brain inhaled the bait, hook and sinker immediately. : D Thanks for being an inspiration! <3

Reference under the cut~

/casually foams/ How dare this man de gozaru

#roronoa zoro #zoro #long hair zoro #zosan #one piece #sanji screams behind the camera #anniinart #art #uniquetosmbody bless you #MESSY OVERGROWN MOSS #ALL MY YES #I'm feral #you and me both sanji #also a small stubble hahaa the trip was long #zoro naturally doesn't give a fuck #all of it does things to sanjis brain tho #maybe one day I'll actually scan my art again #but not today #keep enjoying the dim phone photos lol #low effort posting is therapy for my screaming perfectionist anxiety brain

[that-g3-artist]

trying out pixel art for the first time! here's the boys in the style of four swords/minish cap!

#if i still have time/motivation later i wanna try and make the zeldas #its for a concept for a game that i've had rotating in my brain lately #it'll definitely never be an actual game but i thought it'd be fun to make some fake screenshots or smth #anyways i'm probably gonna change a few things on these boys later but for now i'm happy with them :] #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu chain #lu art #g3 does an art

[turtleblogatlast]

I will never be over Leo’s 4D chess play in “Many Unhappy Returns”. Like, just in general it is a spectacle to see this character who we’ve seen goofing around time and time again, who’s only sometimes decided to take things seriously, only to show him making a maneuver like that.

And here’s what gets me the most about his plan against Big Mama: he comes up with it on the spot. The second he sees that Big Mama has the solution they need, he’s already in game mode.

It is so satisfying watching the episode back when you realize his plan, because he literally sets the stage entirely for a decisive victory. He sees that the champion is a kraken, and comes up with both the solution to defeating it and a reasonable excuse to get that solution into the battle with them on the fly:

“Like your champ aaand those six guys. In fact, we don’t want this over too quickly. You should armor up those rookies. The whole shebang. Especially with these pointy helmets.”

And this is why giving him teleportation powers is perfect, too. He analyzes the battlefield and makes use of all the assets, moving pieces around to guarantee a win. It is honestly so impressive to witness and one of my favorite parts of his character.

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #many unhappy returns #Leo is SO GOOD AT THIS PLEASE #he can be a dumb dumb but when he uses his brain he is AMAZING #I love him so much #dude has the equivalent of Fire Emblem Awakening Robin’s “see the whole battlefield” ability frfr #all of this while not letting on his real plan at ALL #please he’s so good oh my god #and this imo is why he grows into the worlds best ninja #because subterfuge is one of the main abilities one should have as one #and Leo is SO GOOD AT SUBTERFUGE #*eyes Lair Games intently* #side note too but he does a bit of it in the movie as well #‘I missed on purpose’ #it’s small but he had to make sure the Kraang didn’t suspect a thing and he SUCCEEDED #GOD I love??? this boy????? #he’s genuinely so insanely well written and has so much depth I could rant for days man #subterfuge as well so sooooo much fun to witness in action ESPECIALLY WHEN WE THE AUDIENCE IS ALSO MISLED AAA #SOMEONE MENTIONED IT IN THE TAGS TOO BUT YEAH ALSO HE HAD COMPLETE FAITH IN THE REST OF HIS FAMILY TOO #he knows them to a T and was able to accurately predict where they would be by the time he made it back to them #like that’s insane he’s so big brained and deliberately goofy about it I love him #his number one flaw is not letting his team in on his plans and that’s so interesting to me #we see it so clearly in the movie #he CAN accomplish things on his own honestly!! #he’s actually really good at it! #BUT it’s not about him - and not letting his family in on his plans can and does cause collateral damage to them #‘I’m nothing without them’ and ‘it’s not about me’ go hand in hand and can either work off each other for the better or for the Worse #could also go in on how his issues with letting his team in are constantly brought up over the series and how it ISNT just a one way street

[copypastus]

Feyre's selective hearing is the origin of my villain arc.

#my art #acotar #acotar fanart #rhysand #feyre archeron #feysand #acomaf #anti feyre #anti sjm #rhys killed his tamily too feyre! #that was a pretty important part of that story! #he melted his brother's brains! #his dad killed tamlin's mom even tho he promised him he wouldn't #wow what are the odds tamlin went through something similar when rhys's mom and sister got killed #rhys wasn't there #AND NO ONE BOTHERS TO ASK HIM #srsly tho i get it she's fully on board the tamlin hate train at this point #but the way she twists every little thing the man does to be him being an asshole on purpose is just >_> #tamlin did nothing wrong ever in his life

[fettiowi]

*jumps out of bed* what if I drew surge as random spinel screenshots huh what if I did that what if ive already done that what if I ajggfgjhjg7gub6tc4ecyt

#this is the most me thing ever #honestly there were more screenshots i wish i could do but they either have crazy anatomy that wouldnt work on surge #or its when spinel is holding the scythe and theres no equivalent for me to make surge hold #anyway i swear these 2 activate the same neurons in my brain whenever i see them #surge the tenrec #idw sonic #do i tag as spinel? do i tag as su? does it count? #my art #fetti art

[abyssal-cryptid]

TMA making you into the silent listener removed from the story only accessing it by audio. Waiting desperately for another click to hear more, so invested. Truly making us embody the Eye and the Web.

#tma #the magnus archives #Im going insane this podcast does things to my brain #Nothing else has made me like this ever

[ganem-ouchie]

Morn'

-Entry for the Trans Hannibal hcs event - day 2; Hannibal Lecter.

#not completely contempt w the result but i loved making this bc we mostly see hcs and content about trans will #and that is amazing i love him but #trans hannibal does things to my brain #trans hannibal nbc event #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal fanart #hannibal nbc #my art #artists on tumblr #trans hannibal lecter #transexual #trans ftm

[bigfatbreak]

Hello I love your art!!! I was reading through your changeling au and Felix mentions that fae are creatures of mirth. They literally need attention to survive. But what kind of attention? I guess I'm wondering because Adrien has been in the public eye for a while now, but has been personally neglected for even longer. What does that mean for him? Is he starving? Is he in danger of dying? Does he even know it? (I assume not given he doesn't even know he's Fae).

If he is starving / in danger of starving who is the first to realize this?

it depends on the mirth, on the attention, on what it is they seek. Without making things too complicated - I don't like to define everything into neat little boxes after all, there's fun in nuance - Felix is just explaining from his experience, the Fae he was with tended to be "entertained" by certain aspects of their playing, which was the mirth that kept them relevant. Relevancy more than anything is really what keeps their wheels greased.

In Adrien's case though, the reason he's cloying for so many names and to have so many thralls and attendants is because he SHOULD be a more social creature and has been kept woefully alone. He is kinda starving in the way a fae starves - he's relevant, but only in an image his father constructs OF him, which means it isn't REALLY him - and he has no one to play with. No friends, no lovers, and no rivals, makes a very sad fae

#replies #did this make sense ? I have very specific lore in my brain for how this shit works #and it can be sort of confusing to parse #starving doesn't work the same for fae as it does for people #being creatures of mirth #its why they like sweet foods generally. they dont eat it to eat #they eat it to taste something sweet #they take people's names to have people to play with #to feed their desire for entertainment and relevancy #how do i put this another way... anyone in the crowd have adhd? or the tisms? you know hyperfixations #like REAL hyperfixations. not just “I'm interested in this” #I mean “I am legitimately unable to focus on anything BUT this one thing” #“I have made this thing apart of my personality and I need it to survive and I know everything about it and I NEED to talk to someone it” #imagine you exist. but you're the hyperfixation #and you exist... MORE. in a real way. when people focus on you. some aspect of you #want to mimic you or are apart of you or are owned by you. now youre more real. #like that.

[yukiire]

practice some glasses pose from pinterest with the best demon in town and added more lil doodles after i'm done

#obey me mammon #obey me #i also got the plushie mammon hes the best thing ever #riddle doodle #obey me fanart #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #to the person who realised i wrote mora instead grimm fsFDSF my genshin brain TOOK OVER- #mora does roll of mammon's tongue more easily than grimm

[howtokillavampire]

do you ever see fanart so tasty that you are then obligated to join the fandom and spend all of your waking hours learning the lore behind the characters, or is that not a universal experience?

#this is how i got into batman #i mean im more into the batboys #im in it for the robins #does it count if wolfy's jesus fanart made me want to read the bible from an objective pov #technically thats a fandom #i think my entire southern baptist extended family would collectively die if i referred to them as a fandom #anyways #pretty art pavolovs me into consuming new media #batboys #batfam #batman #dc robin #dcu #coldflash #fanart #drarry #mattimir #superbat #hannigram #jonmartin #johnlock #samifer #jaydick #damijon #timkon #timbern #im totally forgetting a bunch of my fav ships bc my brain is tiny and forgets things #so please add your own blorbos #thanks for coming to my ted talk #but why tf are you still reading the tags???

[domsaysstuff]

Okay so this idea has been rocking around my empty skull for some time now just we know that Eddie can be a pretty mean DM and a shithead and I've been thinking abt romances in D&D and how it would work in Hellfire

And I had this thought that Eddie would like be "no romances!!" to the Corroded Coffin group (before the kids joined) and they're like why? and Eddie just to tease them says that he doesn't want to pretend to fall for their smelly ugly faces

Which just motivates them to try and seduce like every character that Eddie introduces for a fucking month and it leads to the creation of the rule: Every romance/seduction directed roll must be rolled above 15 to succeed AND if Eddie decides that the attempt is particularly bad the roll is with disadvantage

The Corroed Coffin boys are obviously teasingly like ohhh so we get an advantage if it's good?

"Doubt that would happen boys, but sure, if you make me, Eddie fucking Munson, to blush like a fair maiden then you'll get the advantage on the roll"

They try, they really do, but all the CC boys succeed in doing is killing off all of their party in three sessions and Gareth who is a little shit is actually rolling his third character (because the consequences of a failure are fucking brutal) by the time Jeff and [unnamed freak] give up

After that they know better (except Gareth who still sometimes does that just to annoy Eddie and be a little shit) to try and then the kids join Hellfire and Eddie has even less of an desire to flirt with fucking Wheeler, Henderson and Sinclair (they're baby children!!)

But the kids are a little shits too and they see Gareth being a little shit so they copy

It ends badly for them, they gripe about Eddie being unfair because like "all three of us have girlfriends Eddie and you don't so we clearly know more about romance then you do" Dustin not only gets a flick on the head for that but his character might have ended up being put into situations™ throughout the session that are "totally unfair!"

But fair to say all of Hellfire knows the rules and all of hellfire knows that no matter how well they try and how smooth they are (they really aren't ever smooth) Eddie will not blush or even consider they attempts as "good", the best they got was "tolerable" (Lucas got it and he's still very proud of it, as he deserves okay?), Eddie is impossible to fluster and so it's just is this fun thing they sometimes do when they feel particularly like little shits

And that's it about it

Until Vecna and all the upside down shit and the surprising friendship of Eddie and Steve happens

And suddenly Steve Harrington is not only sitting but playing D&D

Everything is going actually pretty good and Dustin practically vibrates out of his chair at how proud he is of Steve for how well he is doing so far and then

And then Steve tries to flirt with a pretty bard

Dustin deflates, he is ready for the absolute disaster that is going to fall upon Steve, he makes eye contact with Lucas - both of them ready with "it was actually a pretty good line tho!" at the tip of their tongues to defend Steve's decisions, he doesn't know Eddie's special rules after all and it would be funny to see Steve fail, sure, but it's Steve's first game and the kids wanted it to be good for Steve so convincing him to play again would be easier

But now Eddie is going to absolutely rip into him and Steve will never want to play again and-

"Roll with advantage" Dustin gasps, audibly, loudly, the room is silent, except for Steve who's very unaware of the chaos he just created and just rolls the dices, his usual confidence in place

And if someone looked closely - and all of the hellfire is fucking looking - Eddie Munson has indeed a light blush on his face

#i feel like it would have been so funny #steve and eddie just spend the rest of the session flirting through the bard and steve's character #steve also doesn't know why Lucas looks so in awe of him after the session Mike is scowling and Dustin is looking at him #as if he's a weird matemathical equasion #the CC boys give Eddie so much shit tho after the session #'oh so ours ugly mugs don't do it but king steve's jocky ass does?' 'it's a pretty great ass!' #steve doesn't really learn abt the rules until like a month later #also this is my gareth is a little shit agenda and i will be always pushing it #steddie #fic idea #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #dom's au idea of the day #corroded coffin #also hahaha yes this is my official my brain cannot keep my ideas in my head anymore so im going to unleash all of them slowly here