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deandoesthingstome · 1 year

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Holiday Angel

Pairing: CEO!August Walker x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 18K; Um. You’re welcome? Get some snacks and water.

@fvckinghenrycavill asked nicely, so I'm releasing this earlier than planned. Also, I think @mayloma might be waiting patiently?

Warnings: age difference (m 40′s, f 20′s; it’s your best friend’s dad for god’s sake), mention of cheating, mention of phone sex, masturbation (f), light!dom (m)/sub (f), praise kink, lingerie, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, p in v sex in various positions, protected sex, light bondage, spanking and ass play; if this doesn’t sound like something you’d be into, I won’t be offended if you scroll on by

A/N: Let's be clear: I've only seen MI:Fallout once. I really only know August from Tumblr. This is an AU, where he is not a traitorous anarchist. I also am not comfortable writing a strict dom, so please take a softer August than you may be used too. Additionally, you are a US college Junior in this story (21-ish). Don't worry, I'm not 21 either. Trust me. It's okay. This is a fantasy.

I've also been extremely self-indulgent here. You're gonna see some names you might recognize. You might wonder what college you go to, where in the US you are, or what year it is. I have taken many liberties. Please absolutely enjoy them. (And if anyone was following along with this post, you may notice a scene change. Trying out my inclusivity options.)

And I have a Spotify playlist I used for various scene inspiration if you're interested.

Disclaimer: I don’t own August Walker (could anyone really tie him down?), but I do own these words and this story. Do not repost as your own. Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are more than welcome. It’s how I get my nourishment.

Header by me. Dividers by the ever wonderful and giving @firefly-graphics.

You dropped the Blue Book for your last final on Professor Marshall's desk and skipped out of the room with glee, suppressing the urge to turn back and grab one more mental image of the grumpy professor for the road.

Christmas break was officially on!

Gemma was waiting in the loading zone outside McKinney Hall, her brand new Audi packed with both your bags and ready for the five hour road trip home.

"Bitch, what took you so long?" she teased, knowing you were actually a little early. You had breezed through the test and ran back to the dorms to meet her. She handed you your favorite iced coffee indulgence, a special treat for making it through the week.

"Let's hit it!" you shouted, turning up the volume on the Spotify playlist Gemma had primed and ready to go.

You swapped driving duties halfway, stopping at a drive-thru to grab french fries to supplement the cut fruit and snacks you packed for the trip.

"God, I am craving salt right now!" Gemma exclaimed.

"Auntie on the way?" you sympathized.

"Yesss," Gemma groaned. "And Mikey wants to meet up first thing when he flies in on Sunday. God I hope she gets lost on the way!"

"How's that been going? Long distance and all."

You were glad you and Gemma had decided NOT to room together again after the fiascos of Freshman and Sophomore year. It was only through the saving grace of several grueling classes that kept you library or study group bound for a good portion of the time that you had been able to overcome the petty drama.

It was Gemma's father who had actually suggested she move off campus alone this year and you were pleased to find a lighter class load that allowed you to spend more quality time with your childhood best friend without wanting to rip her face off every five minutes. He was so wise, that Mr. Walker.

But living apart kept you from knowing every single detail of each other's lives, so the drive was a perfect time to catch up on the minutiae.

"It's been weird, honestly. I mean, hooking up last summer was totally unexpected. I can't believe he finally let Chelsea go, but what a fucking night that was!" Gemma squealed as you tamped down your jealousy.

Everyone in high school had the hots for Mike, and you were no exception. But Gemma caught his eye at the last hurrah before heading back to college this past September and, well, girl code. Even if your tastes in men hadn’t already started changing, he was off your list forever now. Especially because he had actually seemed hellbent on making a true go of it with her, promising nightly calls that unfortunately turned weekly as the semester dragged on.

"He's seemed a little distant lately. Distracted. That missed call on Halloween really had me questioning everything he said about giving us a shot. But he's been making it up to me. The phone sex..."

"Stop. Please. I don't want to hear about him slapping one out over the phone," you laughed.

"He sounds so sexy when he comes. Long distance or otherwise."

"Ugh, god. Stop!"

"What? Like you don't love it too! What's up with you and Charlie?"

"Fuck him,” you scoffed. “D'you know, I caught him with Brigette?"

"Your roommate Brigette?"

"Yup. Right before finals started. I need to find a new living situation for next semester, stat!"

"God, why didn't you say something??? Are you okay?"

"I'm surprisingly fine. Things hadn't been so hot lately and honestly, I just don't think he's for me."

"What, missionary all the way?"

You both laughed until the tears were running.

"You should've seen his face when I asked to be on top once. It was like I killed his dog or something."

"Jesus, yeah. You're better off. You need a real man," Gemma declared.

You laughed again, but it came out with a hitch in your throat. A real man was right.

"What was that?" Gemma asked.

"What was what?" you feigned innocence, and held your breath.

"You laughed like you're hiding something. You got a thing going with one of your professors?"

You exhaled as normally as possible. Easy enough to fib your way out of this one with an opening like that.

"God, nothing's going on. But have you seen Professor Marshall? I alternately congratulate and kick myself for choosing a criminal justice major. That man is so fine to look at," you let out a whistle. "It's distracting!"

"So I've heard. Think it's too late to switch majors?"

"Why would I?"

"Not you, silly! Me," Gemma laughed.

"Your father would be so disappointed if you didn't finish your business degree. Who's he gonna leave the company to?" You winked at her, knowing she wanted nothing to do with it. She was only playing along, hoping to find a college boyfriend that would be able to keep her in the lifestyle to which she was accustomed.

You didn't think Mikey was it, but hey. Neither your circus nor your monkeys. You chatted for a bit longer before Gemma dropped into a light sleep. Girl could never last in the car as a passenger on long drives. The hum of the road put her out if she wasn’t in charge of driving.

While she slept, you thought about Mr. Walker.

When did this infatuation start? You’d met Gemma, and by extension Mr. Walker, in 5th grade after your parents had moved across town and into a new school district. Mrs. Walker had already passed and you don’t know why Gemma’s father never remarried, but you also never saw or heard about him bringing a woman home to meet her.

In high school, when you really started paying attention to boys, you began to notice how good looking Mr. Walker was. But the most you ever hoped for was to meet a boy who would grow up to be as handsome. It wasn’t until lately, when some of your college professors had piqued your interest, that you began to fantasize about him, too. This might be a long week.

You pulled up the scenic drive and parked in front of the Walker residence around 8pm. Gemma blinked her eyes opened and stretched before getting out of the car.

"You sure it's okay I stay here until my parents get back?" you leaned over the gear shift to call out the door. "I can't believe they scheduled a whole house reflooring right before Christmas and then skipped town on me to boot."

"It's totally fine. Dad's probably gonna be busy 24-7 at the office so we'll have the run of the house. And thank God for heated pools!"

You kept your mouth shut, knowing if you showed any interest at all in why Mr. Walker would be so busy this close to the end of the year your face would probably melt off from the heat you felt every time you thought about him lately. Let alone the image of him in swim trunks in the pool. Or not in swim trunks.

Gemma leaned back into the open passenger door and you snapped out of it.

"Coming?"

You turned your whole body to open the driver door, desperate to hide from her the wanton desire you were sure adorned your face. Coming, indeed.

You both grabbed your bags from the back seat and headed up the pristine sidewalk towards the stately mid-century modern mansion Gemma called a "house". The thing could host a Hollywood premiere party and was decorated with such understated glamor you wouldn't be surprised if it would play backdrop to such a party one day. Or maybe a movie set.

The tall, rich wooden door had a thin vertical metal handle stretching from a quarter of the way down the right side, stopping a quarter of the way up from the bottom. A warm glow streamed through the large panels of windows stretching across the front of the house and exposing the elegantly decorated Christmas tree in the front living room surrounded by sleek, minimal furniture.

When Gemma finally tapped in the key code and opened the door, you stepped into the flagstone entryway and smiled at the white lights nestled in the pine garland covering the banisters of the floating stairs leading up to the master bedroom and sitting area loft, then down to the basement holding several guest rooms, the fitness and media rooms, as well as Gemma's room.

Another couple guest room suites could be found on the main entry level along with the custom gourmet kitchen and pantry, dining area, mud and laundry rooms. You knew Mr. Walker's home office was somewhere on this level as well, though you'd never dared venture down the hall to find it. He’d always made it very clear it was off limits.

You were dying to sink into the oversized conversation couch that surrounded the sunken floor of the family room in the back of the house and stare off into the fire or out the back windows onto the deck overlooking the pool but Gemma called for you to follow her downstairs first.

"I have to get out of these clothes and then we'll DoorDash."

"No need, sweetheart." Your heart stopped as you heard the deep voice call from upstairs. "I made dinner, it's just warming in the oven. I'll get plates ready for you both, so hurry settling in."

"Dad! I thought you'd still be at the office!" Gemma exclaimed, dropping her bags and heading to the landing to give her father a hug and turning her head away to accept his kiss on the cheek.

"Well, I couldn't let you two eat cold takeout. They can never keep it warm on the drive out here." He turned, letting go of Gemma and opening his arms to you in what should have been a normal welcoming gesture if you hadn’t just been fantasizing about him half the ride home. "Good to see you again."

You suppressed a flustered squeak and pressed your lips together to stifle the drool, thankful Gemma was now behind her father and couldn't see your face as you reached for the hug. But he could. Did. For sure. Fuck.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Walker. That's very kind of you," you managed to reply while trying not to inhale his scent too deep.

"It was nothing," he let go of you and stepped back, slipping his hands slowly into the pockets of his dress slacks.

Were you staring at his muscular forearms, visible below the line of his crisp, white rolled up sleeves? God, you were. Get a fucking grip.

"We'll be right back, Dad. Thanks."

Gemma led you downstairs and sent you off to your regular overnight room down the hall from hers. You were grateful both rooms had their own bathrooms so you didn't have to pass her on your way to splash cold water on your face.

How were you going to survive these next few days before your parents came back with your aunt, uncle, and cousin for Christmas? Gemma wasn't wrong about needing a real man. You'd put up with immature boys all through high school.

Once you started college, a series of gorgeous, educated older men led your lectures over the last few years and your desires had slowly shifted. It really was no problem that Charlie had cheated on you. Perfect opportunity to drop him and move on to something more meaningful. And hopefully someone more experienced.

Has Mr. Walker been in your sights all along? No. No way. But here he was now. It wasn't right to think about him this way, but fuck he looked good tonight, that fluffy curl hanging down and that porn 'stache. What else could you call it? He even had a little of the scruff you'd really enjoyed seeing on Professor Marshall. You wondered how it would feel between your... You heaved a sigh. This can not happen.

You splashed another round of cold water and then dried your face, swapped your jeans for light cotton joggers, and then climbed the stairs to join Gemma and her dad in the dining room.

"There you are," Mr. Walker announced, standing at the head of the table with a bottle in his hand. "We thought you'd gotten lost." He flashed what felt like a knowing smirk as you froze in your tracks.

"Dad, don't be daft. She knows her way around the house." She turned to you from her seat to the right of her father and motioned to your usual guest spot across the table from her, to the left of Mr. Walker.

"Oh, let me have my fun, Gemma. Would you girls like some wine?"

"'Girls', dad? Really?"

"What would you prefer?"

"Ladies?"

Mr. Walker chuckled as he picked up the bottle and poured two glasses of wine.

"Right then. There you go, ladies."

He tilted his head to the side and glanced at you as he split his arms and passed the glasses over by the stems. You did your best to grab the bowl, but his fingers shifted up slightly as he released your glass. You heated again as they brushed the back of your hand and you took a sip immediately, trying to cover the pleasure that had to be apparent on your face.

You set the glass down and picked up your knife and fork, preparing to dig into the plate of luscious looking food in front of you. You took a bite and tried to suppress it, but a groan slipped out of your mouth as your eyes rolled closed. You closed your lips and chewed the fork-tender meat, marveling at it melting away in your mouth. When you finished swallowing, you opened your eyes to find Gemma staring at you, mouth agape.

You turned your head to find Mr. Walker's piercing blue eyes trained on yours as he leaned casually against the arm of the oversized dining chair.

"Enjoying it?"

You blinked and remembered where you were, who you were with.

"Mr. Walker, these short ribs are divine!" you declared.

"Jesus. You act like you never ate a home-cooked meal before," Gemma snapped.

"Sorry, I just," you shook your head to clear the fog. "I mean you’ve always been a great cook, I've just never tasted anything like this."

"It's good, right?" Mr. Walker asked. “I’ve been expanding my repertoire lately.”

"It really is. Oh my god I'm so embarrassed! Gemma, I'm sorry. That was..."

You stared at her across the table with a silent plea, your eyes begging her to say something, anything. You were about to give up completely when Gemma burst into laughter, tears streaming down her face.

"You absolute freak!" she laughed and you let out a breath and laughed with her.

You kept your shit together during the rest of the dinner for the most part. But Mr. Walker poured another few glasses of wine and you could feel yourself getting tipsy.

"I think I need to head to bed, but do you need any help in the kitchen, Mr. Walker?" you asked.

"No, but thank you for the offer. Be careful down those stairs." Did he wink at you?

"See you in the morning!" Gemma called, with a lightness that told you she had well and truly forgiven the awkwardness of just an hour or so ago.

You peeled off your thin sweater and discarded your bra, leaving just a lacy camisole and your joggers. You pulled back the thick pile of covers on the bed and were about to climb in, when a wave of thirst overtook you.

You opened the bedroom door and stepped softly into the hall. The Walkers always kept a mini-fridge stocked in the media room down here. You froze as you entered the doorway.

"Oh, Mr. Walker! I was just..."

"I thought you might want a bottle of water for your nightstand."

You exhaled a small laugh as you both spoke at the same time, but then froze again as you watched the way he held the bottle. Low, at his hips. One hand on the base, the other fiddling with the cap.

" Wh..where's Gemma?" you practically whispered, unable to get your voice to cooperate suddenly.

"She's finishing up the dishes. I’m sure she'll be right down," he replied with a firm, confident tone. "Did you want this?"

He gave a slight nod in the direction of his hands, where you saw he was now tipping the bottle back and forth, before finally offering it to you with an outstretched arm and hand gripped firm around the plastic form.

"Here. Take it."

You nodded and reached for the bottle, once again trying to avoid his touch. Once again finding your fingers brushing against his.

“There you go.”

Your stomach dropped along with his voice as you realized what a terrible idea staying here was. There was no way you were going to be able to hide your desire from Gemma if her father was going to keep acting like this. Time stood still while you tried to move something, anything. Your eyes away from his. Your mouth to say thank you. Your feet to head back to your room.

"Let's get you back to bed," he stepped forward, turning you with a hand on your shoulder, then sliding that hand down your side to your waist and guiding you down the hall.

He stopped at the door frame, pressing you gently into the room. You almost moaned at the loss of his touch as you stepped out of his reach and sat on the edge of the bed, finally finding your voice.

"Thank you, Mr. Walker."

"Sweet dreams." He absolutely winked at you. Fuck.

He pulled the door shut, leaving you all alone with the crazy feelings stirring inside you. This is your best friend's father. You reclined back in the bed. Snap out of it. Girl code isn't just about boyfriends. Pulled the covers over you. Besides, he's like, twice your age, at least. Stared at the dark ceiling, while your fingers shifted under the covers and down your belly. But the way he looked at you tonight. Slipped a hand past the waistband of your pants. He wasn't just being polite. Tentatively touched the heat between your legs.

He was flirting, there was no denying it. Maybe you could have written off the hand brush at dinner, but he was showing off with the bottle of water. He wanted you to look.

You swirled a finger gently through your folds, gathering the slick and spreading it around. You thought about his mischievous grin, his tailored pants, and his strong hands before plunging two fingers deep inside, pulling them back out slowly to circle your clit.

"More," you whispered to yourself, then obliged with fingers deep again, arching your back for better positioning.

"Right there," you moaned quietly, letting the fantasy circle around your head. You pumped in and out, curling deep to find your sweet, spongy spot while you toyed with the idea of letting him touch you.

"Please," you begged, pressing a thumb against your clit, twitching with anticipation. You couldn't wait any longer.

You pulled your slick fingers from your clenching walls and focused all your attention on your clit, rubbing tenderly while you imagined his mouth on you.

"God, Mr. Walker!" you gasped, finally reaching your peak. "August," you whispered, rolling to your side and clasping the blanket close around you while you worked to slow your heart rate before drifting off to sleep.

You woke late on Saturday. It was 10 am when you looked at the clock. The floor to ceiling blackout curtains had really done their job.

You skipped the shower, even though you craved one after the long drive and your private activity the night before. Instead, you just washed your face and wrapped a thin robe around yourself before heading up to find breakfast. Gemma was sitting at the kitchen counter typing away on her phone, empty cereal bowl in front of her.

“Oh, good. You’re up! And you didn’t shower already, perfect. Grab a bite and then let’s hang in the hot tub this morning. I have a kink in my neck from that car ride I need to work out!”

You poured yourself a bowl of cereal and mug of steaming coffee and took a seat in a low back leather barstool next to Gemma. She let you eat in silence while she finished her text conversation.

“Ugh,” she exclaimed, slamming the phone on the counter. “I can’t believe Mike got put on shift at the end of finals week.”

“That why he couldn’t get home already?”

“Yeah, says it’s like a right of passage for all new bartenders at the club. Business is light, but they schedule you with a threat that you’ll lose shifts the following semester if you don’t stay to serve the stragglers and the few locals who pop in the bar once the college crowd clears out for break.”

“But he’ll be home tomorrow, right?”

“Yep. You done?” She watched for your nod. “Well get changed and let’s hit the tub.”

You headed back downstairs to your room and fished your bikini out of your luggage. After changing, you threw the curtains aside and pulled open the sliding door leading to the heated pool deck. Gemma must have had her suit on under her robe because she was already soaking by the time you stepped outside.

You slipped into the bubbling water, immediately grateful for the suggestion. The warmth began to work on your own tension you hadn’t even realized you were holding and you let out a little moan.

“I hear you on that,” Gemma stated. “I hate long car rides! They fuck with my spinal alignment.”

“Yeah, this water feels so good.” You closed your eyes and tilted your head back against the side of the tub, sinking as deep as you could without dipping your face in the water. You snapped up when you heard the splash and blinked your eyes open to see a figure skimming under the water from the far deep end of the pool to the shallow end closer to where you sat in the hot tub.

When Mr. Walker popped his head above water and hung on the side of the pool to say good morning, you were ever so grateful for the steam hiding any lust in your eyes.

“Hey dad.” Gemma turned from her spot to face him.

“Are you ladies getting in the pool this morning?” he smirked.

“No, I think we’re just gonna soak and then go veg in front of the TV for a bit,” she replied, hanging off the side of the hot tub.

“Alright, well, I’m headed out to check on a few sites this afternoon. Should I plan on you for dinner or have you made other arrangements?” Mr. Walker asked.

“Dinner here sounds great, dad. Thanks.”

Gemma turned back to you as you watched Mr. Walker duck back into the water and begin a series of laps. You fluttered your eyes closed so she couldn’t see how blown your pupils were, watching him first speak with Gemma and then propel his body through the water. God, he was practically naked over there. You were practically naked over here. You leaned your head back again to pray for relief.

When you both felt loose and relaxed enough, you climbed out of the hot tub, grabbing an oversized towel from the lidded basket next to the pool to dry off. You were just bending over to reach your lower legs and feet when you heard the splash of footsteps on the pool stairs.

“Right then, that’s me done. And don’t you two load up on snacks while I’m gone. You’ll spoil your appetite.”

You held your breath as he leaned next to you to grab a towel, another mysterious smirk on his face as he rose to face you. You stood and pulled your towel up your body, pretending to wipe non-existent water from your face just to avoid any further eye contact. His body was amazing and his wet swim trunks were clinging to his thighs. If Gemma caught you staring, you were done for.

When it felt safe, you lowered the towel from your face and watched him pad up the staircase leading to the main level before entering the house. Your heart was beating a million miles per hour, but luckily Gemma was already heading inside herself.

You showered finally, then donned some comfy loungewear and joined Gemma in the media room where she’d already cued up Netflix.

“Ready to binge The Witcher?” she asked. “They just released the new season last night.”

“Ugh, that man could raw-dog me all day and night!”

“Where is the lie???!!!???” she laughed with you.

You grabbed some water from the mini-fridge, doing your best to ignore the scene from last night that popped into your head as you settled into an oversized, reclining theater seat. Gemma paused the autoplay on the third episode and asked if you wanted some lunch. You were hungry, alright. But yeah, a sandwich sounded good.

There were still at least 3 more episodes of the season left, when Mr. Walker called down around 6.

��I’m starting dinner now. It’ll be ready shortly.”

“We’ll help,” Gemma called and flipped off the tv. You both headed upstairs to the kitchen. Gemma began to set the dining table, so you sat at the kitchen counter and asked what you could do.

“You could prep that basil for me,” Mr. Walker replied. “Here, like this.”

You watched rapt, as he proceeded to show you how he wanted you to tear the leaves gently into small pieces. When he was sure you had it right, he drizzled some olive oil in a large shallow saute pan and waited for it to warm before tossing in two packages of gnocchi.

He stirred them around for a few minutes and when he was satisfied by their state, he ladeled them out into a serving bowl. He scooped out a few and offered them over the counter to you and Gemma. You each plucked a warm, crispy potato pillow from the spoon and you sighed when you popped it in your mouth, happy that Gemma was making the same noise and you wouldn’t be called out this time. Something about food with Mr. Walker was becoming increasingly sensual to you.

He added some more olive oil and then butter to the pan, waiting for it to melt before pouring in the heirloom cherry tomatoes he’d asked you to dry off from the colander in the deep sink. He sprinkled in some salt and gave them a quick stir, then turned to the open the fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine.

He poured three glasses set on the counter and pushed two towards you and Gemma with his fingers pressed on the base of the stems. Then he raised his own glass.

“I’m glad you’re home, sweetheart,” he tipped his glass to Gemma, and then toward you. “Both of you, of course.”

You took a small sip, watching over the rim as he did the same and you held your breath while your eyes trailed along his throat as he swallowed, hoping Gemma didn’t notice you staring.

The three of you chatted amicably, while Mr. Walker stirred the tomatoes in the pan until they began to burst, at which point he dumped the crispy gnocchi back into the pan. You watched in awe as he lifted the heavy pan with one hand and gave it a good toss, shifting it back and forth with subtle little wrist flicks that nestled the gnocchi into the simple sauce. Then he stirred in some fresh mozzarella pearls and some of the hand-torn basil, giving you a wink of thanks, before popping the whole thing under the broiler.

He asked Gemma to carry the salad and offered you the last pour of wine before sending you off to the dining room with a fresh bottle. Seated at your usual spot, you piled a moderate amount of the bubbly dish onto your plate, inhaling the heavenly scent of basil and tomato. Mr. Walker raised an eyebrow as he held a small bowl of shaved parmesan in your direction. When you nodded, he held the dish for you while you sprinkled the cheese over your plate, eyes watching you the whole time. The fact that he simply turned and handed the bowl to Gemma to let her hold it while she sprinkled her own cheese was not lost on you.

The white wine wasn’t affecting you the way the red had the night before, so once dinner was over, you and Gemma helped clean up and then headed downstairs to finish out the season before going to bed.

You woke yourself up in the middle of the night with your hand down your pants again, teasing your slit while you recalled the dream.

A rugged man with long silvery hair helped you down off his horse and led you to a blanket in a clearing near a steamy pool of water. From a small bowl, he plucked a tiny ripe tomato with his fingers and gently pressed it into your waiting mouth. You sighed as the tomato burst when you bit into it and shivered when he bent over to lick the juice running down your chin with the tip of his tongue before pressing you to your back and holding you down with a heavy kiss. You whispered his name into the night once again as you came.

“August.”

In the morning, you peeled the covers back and stretched your way out of bed. The pleasure of the mid-slumber release you gave yourself last night still tingled in your mind. You showered and dressed, then climbed the stairs again searching for Gemma and hopefully breakfast, missing that her door was still closed. You stopped short seeing Mr. Walker alone in the kitchen.

“Good morning. Did you sleep alright?” He spoke with a suspicious tone. It was like he knew. How could he know?

You swallowed and tried to find your voice. “I did. Thank you.”

“Coffee?” He held the french press up and grabbed a mug when you nodded. “I have a frittata here, too, if you’d like some.”

“Yes, please. Smells amazing,” you inhaled and closed your eyes slowly, remembering the meals from the last few nights as well. “You’re a really good cook, Mr. Walker.”

“I certainly try,” he winked at you. “So what do you two have going on today?”

“I don’t know. Mike gets in this afternoon and I think Gemma wants to meet up with him.”

“Will you be joining them?”

You blinked and swallowed. How do you tell a father that his daughter is probably going to be getting railed six ways to Sunday tonight, so no, you wouldn’t be joining them?

“Uh…”

“Morning!” Gemma’s cheery greeting broke the tension and you were thankful you didn’t have to tell Mr. Walker that the reunion tonight was for Gemma alone. She gave her father a peck on the cheek and poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Gemma, sweetheart, are you meeting Mike tonight?” Mr. Walker asked.

“I am!” she grinned.

“Alone?”

“Yeaahhhh…” she answered, just short of shy. “Sorry dad, I probably should have said something earlier. But you can handle a night without me, right?”

Mr. Walker stared at her for a moment and suddenly all the tension was back in the room. He had to know what was going to go on tonight. How could he not?

“I’m sure I can figure something out. But please, be safe.”

You pursed your lips and widened your eyes as you turned away from them. Was he saying what it sounded like he was saying? Did he have no illusions about the extracurricular activities of his one and only daughter? Sure, she was of age and he had to know what she got up to away from home, but still. If you had to tell your parents you were going to be skipping a night home with them to get it on with your boyfriend, you’d probably melt into the furniture.

“Always am,” Gemma exclaimed cheerfully.

“Alright, well, I’m off. I have some work to finish up here and then a few more site visits to make today.”

“On a Sunday, dad, really?”

“We’re very close to closing this deal and it has to be done before the end of the year. I want to be sure the due diligence is correct so I don’t get stuck with a billion dollar dud when everything is said and done.”

“You’re obsessed.”

“About the things I care about, why wouldn’t I be? You two have fun today. Gemma, I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Not before you get home, unless you’re not going into the office tomorrow?”

“To be determined.” He gave you both a short goodbye wave and headed out.

“Awk - ward…” you sing-songed, once you were sure he was out of range.

“Ugh, I know. He’s not stupid. I mean, he knows I’m active, but it’s still a little weird being so forthcoming with him about it.”

“Has he ever had anyone…” you asked before you could filter the thought.

“I mean, you’re here all the time when I’m home. Have you ever seen him bring a woman around? I know he’s dated over the years, but no one’s ever good enough for him. They never last so he never wants to introduce us. It’s a little sad, really.”

You nodded in agreement.

“Do you want to have a swim and sit in the hot tub for a bit again this morning? Mikey’s flight gets in at 3, so I was hoping you and I could head into town for lunch and maybe some shopping and then you could drop me at his place and drive my car back here. Unless you want to meet up with anyone, of course.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m honestly just looking forward to another veg fest tonight.”

You changed into your bathing suit and slipped a robe over top, then met Gemma on the heated pool deck.

“I can’t get over how warm it is right now! Clearly no hope for a white Christmas.”

“I know! Air’s still a bit chilly, but yeah, sucks. I’d love snow for the holidays,” you replied, dropping your towel on a lounge chair and untying your robe. You slid the fabric off your shoulders, and stepped down the stairs into the warm, salt water pool. You let your body acclimate a bit before dipping your head completely under and pushing off the bottom to glide to the far side in one breath. When you surfaced, you grabbed a hold of the side of the pool and realized Mr. Walker was standing at his office windows, staring down at you.

He held your gaze for what felt like a moment too long, then turned away, presumably toward his desk, but impossible for you to see his face. Which, to be honest, was fine because for a minute it felt like he was going to burst through the windows and eat you up.

The splash as Gemma broke the surface next to you snapped you out of your reverie and she tugged you back from the side, urging you into an easy lap race. You swam back and forth the length of the pool about twenty times before stopping back at the shallow end.

“That all you got?” Gemma called, crawling away toward the deep end again.

You stared after her, but let your gaze raise to the windows. His window. You could see nothing inside from this far away, the light tint blocking everything. But you knew he was there. Was he still sitting at his desk, typing a memo? On the phone, arranging an international meeting? Or was he back at the window, watching you with his hands in his pockets, struggling not to touch himself? Or fuck, maybe he was touching himself. You sank under the water before Gemma could reach you again.

“Hot tub?” she asked, when you bobbed to the surface.

“Hot tub,” you agreed.

You lounged in the even warmer, bubbling water for another 15 minutes or so, sending the last of your finals week jitters packing. This semester was over. Your relationship was over. There was nothing more you could do about your performance for either scenario. So you closed your eyes and let it all go with a sigh.

“There you are.”

“What?” you opened your eyes as Gemma spoke.

“You’ve been on edge. I know you said you didn’t care about Charlie, but something’s been bothering you. You just look so much more relaxed now. You good? Still okay about the plans for tonight? I don’t mean to leave you all alone, but…”

“I’m gonna be so good, Gem. Don’t worry about me. Let’s go. I want to see if that pop-up shop is still around. They have the cutest jewelry.”

“Yes!”

You found the store you were looking for and bought a few new pairs of earrings. A long, thin drop chain pair and some geometric hoops, asking the clerk if you could wear the gold bar threaders out of the store. You also found a necklace for your mom and some jade bracelets for your aunt. Christmas shopping halfway done.

Gemma pulled you into a lingerie shop next.

“I wanna get something sexy for tonight.” She tried on a few outfits and picked out a few for you to try on too.

“This is silly. I don’t have anyone to wear this stuff for anymore.”

“Oh, just wear it for yourself. Don’t you just feel luxurious in silk?”

You agreed and bought the dark blue, high cut silk romper with black lace trim and white flower print. It was maybe the sexiest thing you ever owned. And you were single. Awesome.

You and Gemma walked arm in arm to your favorite lunch spot, grabbing a table on the heated patio. You giggled conspiratorially together about how her evening with Mike would go, making sure you cut her off before she got too graphic. You did not want the details. Those were private, no matter how much Gemma liked to brag.

You hit a few more shops after lunch, nabbing a new sweater for your dad, a book from your uncle’s favorite author, and some art supplies for your cousin. You just had stocking stuffers left, so you hit up the candy shop after dropping Gemma at Mike’s.

You pulled Gemma’s car into the garage and let yourself into the basement to drop your bags down in your room, figuring you would just stay hidden and out of Mr. Walker’s way for the evening. But your stomach rumbled and you realized lunch had been hours ago.

Before you could make it upstairs, you were distracted by the sounds of grunting and staccato smacks. You peered into the gym to find Mr. Walker throwing jabs and punches against a heavy bag. His back was to you and your mouth watered as you watched his shoulders and traps tense and ripple with each hit. From the amount of sweat dripping down his back and soaked into his tank and shorts, he’d clearly been at it for a while. He was shifting his feet back and forth in a little sparring dance and you were about to get caught out as he rotated around the bag. But you simply couldn’t move.

Mr. Walker had just pumped his arms preparing for the next hit as he rounded his target. He grabbed the bag to still it when he noticed you staring.

“Everything okay?” he asked, chest heaving.

You cleared your throat and suppressed the urge to turn and run.

“Everything’s, uh …just fine,” you smiled at him. “I was just on my way to grab a bite and heard the ruckus in here.”

“Sorry to sidetrack you.” He trained an intense stare on you, head tilting to the side. “But I was just about done anyway. If you don’t mind waiting, I can whip up something after I grab a shower?”

“That would be amazing, thank you Mr. Walker. Anything I can do to help get ready?”

He strode toward you now, grabbing a towel from the bench to wipe the sweat from his face. You watched rapt as a damp curl bounced back into place on his brow.

“If you want to open a bottle of wine, feel free, but no need to do any heavy lifting in the kitchen. I’ve got it covered,” he winked at you with a devilish grin. Suddenly his hand was at your neck, fingers gently caressing the chain hanging from your ear. “Are these new?”

You swallowed and nodded, unable to respond.

“They’re pretty.”

“Thank you,” you practically whispered, trying not to sink to the floor before him.

You excused yourself and made your way back upstairs, wanting to simply escape his commanding presence and seek out a snack to tide you over.

“Don’t spoil your dinner,” he called to you in the kitchen, his footsteps heavy on his way upstairs as well.

You sat with the banana you’d plucked from the fruit bowl and pondered the scene.

Would he strip down in the bedroom or the bathroom? Would he stand under the rushing water for a bit and let the warm water loosen his muscles, hand against the wall, head hanging down? Did he touch himself? He had to touch himself, but did he use a bar or gel? Loofah? Washcloth? Or was he just running his hands all over his body now? How did he dry off? Towel over his head to shuffle those curls? Or bend over and get the legs, drying up the body first? Maybe he started with a swipe across his chest? Did he wrap that towel around his waist or just bare-ass it into the closet for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt? Barefoot? Slippers?

“Are you going to eat that?”

You jumped and dropped the banana that you hadn’t even taken one bite of to the counter.

“Oh, Mr. Walker, you startled me,” you gasped.

“You did seem rather in deep thought there. Anything I can help with?”

Why you expected him to be in a ratty pair of sweats and a t-shirt you’d never know. Mr. Walker had donned an elegant pair of loose linen pants and simple cashmere turtleneck sweater that did nothing to hide the muscles he’d been training just half an hour ago. He looked delicious.

“Here,” he reached for the as yet unpeeled banana, “let’s just put this away and get you something more substantial, okay?”

You made some light small talk about your recent semester and watched as he breezed around the kitchen, pulling out packages from the fridge and heating pans on the stove. In a mere matter of minutes he had turned a burner on to boil water and chopped asparagus, tomatoes, broccoli, and yellow peppers. When the water bubbled just right he tossed in a bag of fresh cavatelli. He asked about the rest of your Christmas plans while he sauted the vegetables in a fragrant lemon sauce. After draining the pasta, he tossed it in the pan along with a bit of pasta water, stirring to thicken up the sauce before adding some lemon zest and grated parm. Boyfriends? He asked as he ladled heaping portions into two wide flat bowls and set one down in front of you at the island.

“Thank you, Mr. Walker,” you said as you picked up your fork. “No, not anymore.”

“Please,” he rested his fists on the counter across from you.”I want you to call me August.’

“Okay. August,” you replied, as a jolt of pleasure raced through you straight to your cunt.

“Good girl.”

You closed your eyes and sighed, hoping it was masked as the enjoyment of the bite you took. August Walker wanted you as much as you wanted him. There was absolutely no doubt. When you opened your eyes, his icy blue stare greeted you while his mouth pulled into a sly smirk.

He lounged against the counter across from you, dish in hand, lifting bites of pasta to his mouth and chewing while he listened to you try to explain why it simply wasn’t working out with the men at college. It seemed to you that his breath got deeper with each failed relationship.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, licking an errant drop of sauce off the corner of your mouth. “It just feels like they aren’t really into it.”

“Into what?”

“Well, me. I guess. Into what I want.”

“And what do you want?”

“Something more…” you took a deep breath to stifle the jitters. You were about to proposition your best friend’s dad. “Passionate.”

His eyes widened ever so slightly, brow raised in surprise as if he did not expect that to be your answer. He set his plate down, abandoning the last bite, and slipped his hands in the pockets of his pants. And watched you watch. Yeah. He knew. Saw it the minute you walked in the house two days ago.

You dropped your fork to your plate and slid your chair back, standing to move around the island.

“Can I help with the dishes?”

“Are dishes what you really want to be doing right now?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Not really, no,” you stepped closer, heart pounding in your chest. “August.”

He pulled his hands from his pockets and placed them against your cheeks, fingers wrapping around the nape of your neck, but with no pressure at all.

“So, listen. I want you to be really sure about this,” his eyes darted back and forth as he searched yours for any hint of doubt, even as you nodded. When he found none, he bent to kiss you. It was gentle at first, a simple touch, then a swipe of the tongue to ease you open and slip in. The mustache tickled your nose and the scruff felt exactly how you imagined, how you wanted it. You let your mouth fall open and welcomed the gentle probing of his tongue.You whimpered when he pulled away.

He considered you then, for what felt like an eternity before he placed a thumb on your lips and tugged down to your chin then slid his digit into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue to gather whatever moisture was available. You closed your lips around his thumb and rolled your eyes back up to him, sucking slowly on his thumb and daring him to pull it out.

He huffed and sneered and pulled his thumb from your lips and tilted your mouth back up to meet his lips crashing down on yours again. When he released your mouth, he licked his lips and then turned you so he could guide you out of the kitchen, down the hall, and up the stairs to his bedroom. He sat you on the edge of the bed and you stared up into his ocean-deep eyes.

“My god you are an angel, aren’t you?”

You shivered and gasped, then released your breath slowly. He smirked again.

“You like that? When I call you an angel?”

“I really do,” you whispered.

“Good. Then whenever you’re with me, alone, you are my Angel. Is that okay with you?”

“It is.”

He smiled at you then and pulled his sweater over his head leaving him bare chested in front of you. You raised a hand as if to drift your fingers through the bed of fur covering his chest and tapering down to his stomach. But he stopped you. Grabbed your wrist with one hand and tilted your chin to him with the other, holding your gaze steady and peering deep into your soul to confirm his observation. It was written all over your face. You wanted him to tell you. You wanted him to give you permission. You wanted to hear him say yes. So you asked.

“Can I touch you August?”

“Yes, Angel. You can.” He released your hand and face and you proceeded to touch him. You slid your palm up his stomach to his chest, your fingers snaking through his hair. He heaved a sigh, then placed his hand on your wrist again and pulled you up to standing. You peered into his eyes, bit your lower lip and slid your palm back down, turning your hand so your fingertips hit his waistband first, sneaking under the fabric.

“You sure you’re ready for that right now?” he asked, placing his hand on your wrist for the third time this evening. “I think you might want to rethink that.” He put your hand over the bulge in his pants so you could feel not only how hard he was already but how large. He was silently asking you if you’d ever had a lover whose cock was as big as his and you paused for only a beat.

You knew exactly how you wanted to start. “I’m a thousand percent sure,” you grinned salaciously up at him.

His nod was practically imperceptible, so determined not to let you see how your eagerness was affecting him. How would it look if he were losing all control?

You licked your lips and brought both hands to the drawstring tie, loosening it slowly, then dragging the fabric carefully over his engorged cock. You sat back on the bed as you pushed his pants down his legs, never once letting your eyes leave his.

Not until you were ready to take him in hand did you drop your eyes to drink him in. It was the most glorious sight you could imagine. Long, thick, hard. Jumping slightly as you touched the underside with your fingertips, then settling the weight into the palm of your hands. He had not been wrong at all. No other man you’d been with could compare to his size. And you had absolutely no doubt he knew exactly how to wield it.

You were hypnotized. Even if you’d wanted to look back into his eyes to ask permission before you took him into your mouth, you simply could not tear your gaze away. Your hunger evolved into something more now, and you leaned forward, tucking your tongue under the head while your lips wrapped around him.

You knew there was no way you’d be able to take his full length inside your mouth, but you wanted to try. Wanted to show him you were willing. You gathered your spit and let it glide your mouth over his cock, past the bulbous head and as far down the veiny shaft as you could manage. With a hand firmly gripped around the base, you held him in place while you moved your mouth up and down, letting your tongue drag and circle. You could do this for hours. He might have let you. But the minute you let his tip hit the back of your throat, causing a small gag reflex and a few tears to well in your eyes, he pulled you off.

“Not yet. I’ll have you undone, but not yet.”

You blinked the tears of pleasure quickly away, confused. Charlie had always loved to come in your mouth, knowing an early release would allow him to last longer with you.

“Was it not alright?” you questioned, unsure now if all those boys had been lying when they said you were the best.

“Oh, Angel. It was divine. Do you see how fucking hard I am for you? And you’ll do that again for me. I’ll insist on it. But I want to drink you in myself, first.”

He asked you to undress. You were suddenly reminded of your spur of the moment purchase and would give anything to put yourself on display in it for him. He sensed your cautious excitement, but mistook it for hesitation.

“What is it, Angel? Are you having doubts?” he asked in a gentler tone than he’d been using since you arrived in the bedroom.

��No, August. Nothing like that. I just, well…”

He furrowed his brows at you and urged you to finish your confession.

“I mean, I want this, but I really wasn’t prepared for it to happen. And it’s embarrassing to say, but I have something I’d love to put on for you. Can I do that?”

His relief shifted to a wolfish grin, as he nodded and shifted out of your way. “Please don’t take too long.” He took himself in hand and began to slowly stroke. “I don’t want to take care of this myself.”

You nodded eagerly and rose to stand before him. It took every ounce of restraint not to sprint from the room in an effort to return to him as quickly as possible, but that didn’t feel dignified. You weren’t going to start acting like a schoolgirl in front of August Walker.

Your legs carried you purposefully through the house to your room where you undressed, put your hair up, and quickly showered. After drying off, you fished the romper out of the shopping bags on your bed, tore off the tag carefully, and stepped into the silky piece. Gemma was right, it felt so very luxurious.

A shock of cold rushed through you. How would you ever face Gemma after tonight? It wasn’t as if you’d been scheming for this to happen. But you weren’t saying no, either. You wanted this so badly. Another deep breath. You’d just have to deal with the consequences later. There was no way you were stopping now.

You searched through your luggage for your long, white crochet cardigan with the front tie. You decided to brush your teeth quickly and took a few extra minutes to dab some of your favorite perfume along your neck and wrists. A makeup touch up seemed useless at this point, but you did fix your hair.

You took a final look at yourself in the mirror and blew out the breath you found yourself holding. This was happening.

You climbed the stairs with purpose, noting the low seductive music drifting from the top floor. You smiled at the thought that August liked to use sound to get into the mood as well. You stopped at the door to his bedroom, just as he was coming out of his own en suite, clothed now in a pair of dark blue silk pajama pants that did little to hide his ongoing erection.

“Oh Angel. I thought you’d gotten lost again,” he teased. “Come. Let me look at you.”

He reached out his hands as he moved across the room toward you. He grasped one of your hands and raised it over your head, twirling you around once slowly then dropping your arm as you came back around to face him and tracing his hand down your throat and chest, toying with the bow at the front of your sweater.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?”

You nodded, wide-eyed, hoping he really loved it as much as he seemed to.

“Well, don’t you look good for me?. It’s a pity this won’t stay on long.” He pulled on the strings and slipped a hand inside the sweater, grazing your side as he wrapped his arm around your back and pulled you close for a withering kiss. He palmed a breast with the other hand, rubbing against the hard nub straining through the soft fabric. He pressed the small of your back and moved you inches closer to him, his stiff cock jutting against you.

As he released the kiss, he pushed the sweater off your shoulders and let it drop to the floor behind you, once again taking up your hand and pulling you with him as he moved back to the bed. This time, he sat, legs spread wide so you could step between them.

“This really is very pretty,” he toyed with the thin straps of the romper, sliding a finger under the lace and brushing his knuckle against the top of your breast. “Would you like to keep it on a little longer?”

“I would.”

“Very well then.”

He pulled the straps down your shoulders a few inches tempting you with a state of full undress, then replaced them and moved his hands to your hips, smoothing them around to cup your ass and squeeze. He kept one hand on your lower back, pulling the other back around to the front before pushing a hip just off-kilter. You were now on a slight diagonal to him and that allowed him to more easily slide his hand off your hip and down into the crease of your thigh before he slipped a finger under the silk to trace along your folds.

You watched his eyes darken as he discovered the moisture already accumulated, waiting for him. You bit your lip as he turned his gaze to your eyes.

“You are already so wet, Angel. You’re hungry for this aren’t you?”

“Yes, August. I want you.”

He kept his eyes glued to yours as he dipped two fingers inside your core and you gasped.

“And I want you to fuck yourself on my hand. Will you do that for me Angel?”

Your whole body was buzzing now. No one had ever prioritized your pleasure like this. If you’d had your mouth on a boyfriend’s cock, that’s where it was staying until he came in your mouth or pulled out and slipped inside your pussy. But giving you control of your own orgasm? Exhilarating.

His fingers were curled inside you, stroking and stretching you, smoothing along your walls and seeking out the most delicate spaces as you began to shift your hips against his hand. The heat spread through your body, you relaxed and sank your weight into his hand, your cunt swallowing his fingers deeper. You swept a hand under the curve of your tit, squeezing gently at the hardened nipple while you grabbed a hold of his wrist with your other hand. Using the leverage of his grip, you rocked back and forth into his palm, tossing your head back when he graced you with another curl of his fingers. He had found your spot and was going to exploit that fact, teasing you with a gentle press before spreading his fingers wide inside you.

“Please, August,” you begged.

“Please what Angel?” he smirked. “This is all you.”

You hauled your head back to stare down at him while you undulated your hips, searching for a way to position his fingers where you needed them again.

“Would you put another finger in? Please August?”

He smiled and obliged and you shivered with pleasure, finally beginning to feel the fullness and pressure you needed to reach your peak. If you could just…You snaked your hand around his wrist, moving so you could drag your thumb down beside his and urge it up to the top of your clit. You pressed his thumb into you, guiding his motion and pulling away only when you were sure he would continue on his own.

With his thumb brushing over your pearl, you rocked harder on his fingers, shifting his hand so he had no choice but to curl up into your spot and you held his hand firm in position when he did, praying to all the gods you knew that he would remain right there for just this moment longer.

He stood as soon as you came apart, catching you with an arm around your back as he slowly withdrew his fingers from your pulsing pussy.

“Absolutely gorgeous.” He kissed at the heat radiating from your cheeks, then sought your mouth and traced your lips with his tongue, opening you up to him and licking in deep. You moaned as you imagined him doing that again, lower.

“Yes, I know. You’ll get that too,” he declared, pulling away from the kiss. “What do you say, Angel? How do you feel about taking this off now that I’ve seen you so pretty in it?”

You smoothed your hands down your body, enjoying the sensual feel of the silk, still reeling from your orgasm. You nodded as he slipped the straps from your shoulders once more, this time pushing the elastic waistband over your hips and dropping the material to the floor.

August grabbed your ass then slid his hands to your thighs, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist as he turned to face the bed. His kiss was deep and hard as he climbed one knee and then the other onto the mattress, before easing you on your back. With your legs pinned around his waist, he ran his hands along your calves and up to the crease at the top of your thighs where he hooked his thumbs and pressed his fingertips into the flesh of your hips.

You were fully on display for him now. Nothing to stop his eyes from devouring every inch of your body, kindling the flames still licking at your skin. He eased his thumbs toward your apex, caressing your folds and massaging your slick along the edges. He let one thumb circle around your clit, pressing hard when you arched into it. He dipped the same thumb into your core, then withdrew and placed it in his mouth, licking you off his thumb like ice cream and you melted at the site of it.

You felt adored and basked in his worship, tossing your arms over your head and arching your back to press your chest out towards him. He slid his hands up your waist and over your belly to cup and knead your breasts. When he pinched, the pressure was just the other side of comfortable and you hissed with the pain. He eased up, rubbing gently for a moment before squeezing again, with the same intensity. The salacious leer on his side-cocked head sent a wave of pleasure along with the pain and you furrowed your brow and whimpered with content. Satisfied, he let you go and leaned down to kiss you again.

He unhooked your legs and directed you to the top of the bed. You eased back against the tall, plush gray velvet headboard, positioning yourself right in the middle of the California king bed.

“I’m going to eat that delicious pussy of yours now, Angel. And I don’t want you to touch me while I do. I want to try something I think you will enjoy. Will you let me?”

You furrowed your brow and nodded reluctantly, unsure what it would mean.

August climbed up to the head of the bed, knees straddling your waist as he reached behind the headboard. Your heart beat noticeably faster when you saw the thick strands of silk cord he pulled over the top. Holding them both in one hand by the plush lined leather cuffs at the ends of each, he peered down at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Have you ever been restrained, Angel?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head slowly once, chin lowered with a shyness you hadn’t yet felt this evening. August grasped your jaw to tilt you towards him.

“Never be embarrassed, sweet thing. This isn’t for everyone. Believe me, I know.” He dropped one line and your chin at the same time, holding the second cuff in front of you and caressing the line. “You have options here. Let me explain. If you want, you could simply hold onto the rope. It’s soft and won’t burn or cut your hands when you squeeze tight. But the risk here is how easy it would be for you to drop it when you are unable to control yourself.”

You blinked with anticipation for the next option, then closed your eyes when he gave you a few more.

“You could always wrap the rope around your wrists or use the cuffs with a loose buckle as well, but still…” He unbuckled the cuff. “I think your best option, the one that will ensure you are able to enjoy every minute of my mouth on you, would be for you to let me tighten these around your wrists.”

He held the cuff wide for you and waited as you opened your eyes to give him an answer. With a wave of confidence surging through your body, you lifted your arm for him.

“Good girl.” He pulled the strap through the buckle and found the right fit with ease. Firm, not too tight, but certainly not loose at all. He tugged your arm down to demonstrate how little reach you had now and raised an eyebrow again with a last chance to beg off. You met his question with an unwavering gaze and he closed and opened his eyelids slowly with a smile before attaching a cuff to your other wrist.

You tested this one yourself with a tug and another thick swallow to calm your nerves and remind yourself you wanted this. So badly.

You could leave your arms winged back toward the headboard or bring your hands in front of your face, with elbows bent close by your side, but you’d never be able to touch him while he was tucked between your legs. As he began to retreat, you reached reflexively for him, even though you were unable to catch him as the rope went taut.

As if reading your mind, he bent then and allowed you to place your hands on either side of his face while he kissed first your brow, then your cheeks below each eye, the corners of your lips. He finally slotted his mouth against yours and you leaned into it and kissed back hard.

You let out a soft whine when he finally pulled away, but he pressed a finger to your lips to quiet you, then held it there as he eased down your inflamed body, rotating soft kisses and sharp nips.

No high school boyfriend had ever gone down on you. And Charlie wasn’t the first in college, but he’d been the best so far. August blew him out of the water.

When he arrived at his destination, he pulled his hand down your throat and over your chest, fingertips skimming your belly and lifting away right before he reached your mound.

He stared at first, eyes devouring the site before him. He tilted his head first one way then the other, as if trying to determine the perfect approach. He pushed your knees wide again when you began to tip them in, nervous about the scrutiny. When he finally eased closer, you closed your eyes in anticipation, but the warm wet sensation never came. You felt only his hands slipping under and around your bent legs, fingers digging into the tops of your thighs and holding you in place. You opened your eyes when you heard him inhale deeply and saw his own eyes flutter shut and open again. As he exhaled, the air drifted and teased, first warming and then cooling across your delicate skin.

He turned to nuzzle into the crook of your thigh, nipping and licking lightly on first one side and then the other. When his beard brushed your skin, you shuddered. It was an exquisite tickle, prickly and soft at once and everything you’d imagined. He pulled his arms from under you then, smoothing his hands along the insides of your thighs and pressing your knees wide and still he wouldn’t touch you where you ached for him.

“Please, August,” you pleaded, head straining toward him.

“Patience, little Angel.”

Only when you placed your head back against the headboard, did he dip low again, still nuzzling gently around the edges of your desire. You felt a brush of fingertips down your inner thigh and the back of a finger running up one side of your aching cunt and down the other. Then a finger along both sides, smoothing up then drifting down. At the bottom he captured your pussy lips between the knuckles of two fingers and squeezed, gently opening and closing and finally providing some of the friction you craved. But as soon as you tried to arch into it, he stopped and pulled his hand away.

“I know what you think you need, Angel. I’m here to tell you there’s more. We’ll get there. And I should have said something sooner. It would be better for you to hear this in a less vulnerable state, but if you want me to stop, at any time, I will. Do you understand?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to articulate even the word yes properly, but he wanted to hear it.

“Say it.”

“I understand August,” you spoke softly, then cleared your throat and responded with more conviction. “If I want you to stop, I’ll tell you.”

He placed a hand on your belly now, heel of his palm pressing just above your clit and rocking back yet still avoiding the tender spot. Then he lifted his palm and swept his finger toward your thigh again, massaging the flesh gently between his fingers and thumb. He did the same on the other side and finally, finally, because you were being so good and laying still for him, he eased a knuckle into your slit and held it there.

And then he craned his neck closer, pulled his finger up through your folds, and let his tongue drag in the spot where his finger was. He pressed his thumb onto your clit and rubbed small circles while his tongue lapped at the slick already forming. When he pulled his mouth away, he slid his thumb down inside you, deep and then shallow as he returned to pressing at your clit.

All you wanted was to lift your hips up to meet his pressure, but you sighed out a low moan instead, trying to be good for him. As if to reward your self-control, he let the tip of his tongue meet his thumb at your sensitive nub and then pulled his hand away so he could close his mouth and suck. When he pulled his lips away, he tugged the kernel with him for a moment before letting it go, then rubbing it with his thumb again.

When his mouth met your pussy once more, it was to press his tongue wide and flat into your folds before curling the tip up and in. He repeated this a few more times, tipping deeper and deeper each time while his thumb still strummed along your button before he finally plunged the length of his tongue right into your core and just like that wrapped his lips around your clit to pull out and away.

You closed your eyes, so he couldn’t see them begging him to put his mouth back where you wanted it, but the anticipation was stoking a fire and you didn’t want to put it out just yet. You felt his fingers push up along the soaking path, tipping into the bud and then dragging back down, middle finger dipping in on the return now. He ran this finger up and down, in and out, circling, sliding, coaxing, and just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore and you were about to break, he pressed his other hand low on your belly and held your hips in place, like he just knew you were about to shift and search for more friction.

When he could sense you would be good for him, he moved the hand from your belly to cup under your thigh before adding a second finger and rubbing them both furiously from side to side briefly, before splitting his fingers and spreading your labia wide. He dove in to kiss your lower lips, tracing the wide opening before licking in deep and you gasped your eyes open at the memory of his earlier kiss and promise.

As if on cue, any tension you’d been holding in your body at the thought of being tied up, forced to remain still, and eaten out while you couldn’t fully participate just vanished. You sank infinitesimally further into the bed, your arms dropped by fractions of millimeters, and your legs fell open even wider.

August knew it. And he rewarded you for it. His mouth was on you in earnest now, kissing, sucking, nibbling, licking, lapping, prodding. His fingers were inside you and on you and around you. Two fingers twisted inside, pressing down and spreading you open. One tongue laved at your core, coaxing the heat and juice from you. When it came, you thought he would stop because this is when they stop and climb up your belly and slide their cocks inside you and grind into the wet wet heat, but he didn’t stop.

No he kept going. He kissed your quivering pussy and tongued along the folds, gathering up as much of your essence as he could. He spun those two fingers up now, caressing your walls and seeking out that most favorable spot. The one he already had you coming on earlier. The one he made you make yourself come on. God, what did it matter who was doing what?

The fact of the matter was, August Walker was giving you your third orgasm of the night with nothing more than his mouth and hands and he still hadn’t let you touch him for very long with either your fingers or your mouth. And he certainly hadn’t placed in cock deep inside your aching cunt.

But what he was doing was continuing to worship at your altar. Well past the point that you could think straight. Was this now four or five? It was all a blur and all you knew was that if August didn’t stop, you might explode. Suddenly it was a problem that you couldn’t move your arms much past your shoulders.

August was past caring about you thrashing your hips with one aftershock after another. Didn’t mind about having to hook his arms under your thighs and tug you back down the bed each time you tried to grasp the wrist cords and pull yourself off his face. He only wanted you to stop straining so he could show you how much better it could be. He wanted you to relax just like you had right before he’d really started in on you in earnest.

You felt his hand snake up your belly between your legs, creep over the swell of your breast, and rest against your collarbone. At first you resisted the weight, but then you welcomed it. Wondered if it might not be better if he just climbed his whole body right up on top of yours and crushed you into the mattress.

But he wasn’t going to do that, because instead he was going to ensure you came one more time while he scissored his fingers inside you and licked you into oblivion. When you screamed his name, he grinned a kiss against your thigh, crawled out from between your knees, and gently, ever so carefully, eased your legs together and unbent them.

He traced his hand back up your heaving belly and chest, wrapped his fingers around your throat and tilted your neck towards him.

“So, so beautiful when you come, Angel. I wanted it to last forever for you.”

You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue and whimpered into his mouth because you suddenly realized you wanted that too and it was too late.

“Is it too late?” you whispered and he chuckled at you.

“You should pace yourself.” He knelt beside you and unbuckled your wrists, kissing each one as he freed you from the cuffs, then dropping to his back beside you. “Thank you, for opening yourself to me.”

“How in the world are you thanking me after that?” you laughed, still shaking from the explosions, but moving toward your next goal. “And also... Can I get back to this now?”

You began to scoot down between his legs, dragging his silky pants with you and tossing them to the floor.

“If you’re sure you're ready.”

You trailed your fingers up his thighs as you moved back into position on your belly. He was still hard as rock when you reached for him. You licked your lips at the sight, then sent your eyes straight to his while your mouth wrapped around the tip of his cock with a smile. You worked him slow and methodically, tonguing along his length, tasting his warmth. You were salivating for this man, dribbling spit to help ease your tour of his member, and yet you knew you’d never reach the base. You let your hand twist around him, squeezing and grabbing while you worked your mouth down to meet it.

“Your mouth feels so good on me, Angel. You like doing that, don’t you?”

You peered at him through your lashes and nodded, attempting another wide smile to agree. His hands smoothed up your arms, over your shoulders, and into your hair. You didn’t need him to hold your head against his cock, but he grunted and shifted his hips to press deeper into your mouth. You would have done this for him all night. Let him lay back and enjoy being worshiped the way he had worshiped you.

But with one hand on your nape and one right on top of your head, August helped himself to the pleasure you were offering without hesitation and began fucking your mouth in earnest. With each thrust, you felt him edge deeper until he finally found the back of your throat.

“There you go,” he grunted. “That’s a good girl. Taking me so deep.”

You could do nothing more than open wide and let him drive, feeling the saliva drip from your mouth with no opportunity to swallow. He set a steady, punishing pace and while you were enjoying it, you also couldn’t help but imagine this must be what your aching pussy would feel like shortly. Your tears were flowing freely now, too, spurred on by the constant stimulation.

Suddenly, he pulled you off and you were confused for one brief, maddening moment until you heard him command you.

“Hands and knees.”

You pressed yourself up as he shifted to his knees as well before returning his hands to your head and dragging your mouth down his cock once again. You felt his grip on your hair at your neck tighten, his pace even faster than before. In just moments, with your watering eyes rolled up as far as they could go to watch him sneer down at you, you felt his release coat the back of your throat, hot and salty, as he came with a growl.

He hauled you up, shifting his knees forward to meet you, pressing his chest against you, arms wrapped around your back as he kissed the tears from your cheeks and praised you. He settled back against the headboard, taking you with him and scooping your legs over his, nestling your head against his chest and holding you close. You could feel his heart pounding, the intensity matched only by the speed at which yours beat. His fingers traced along your spine, caressing your shoulder and at the same time he held your hip on his lap and tortured you with tender touches along the flesh of your thighs and legs.

You trailed your fingers over his chest and angled your head to nip at his neck.

“Was that okay?” he asked, uncharacteristically soft. You bit the urge to respond with sarcasm.

“I loved every second of it.” You punctuated your response with a kiss, cupping his cheek and tonguing his mouth open to lick into the softness.

He groaned and kissed you back for what felt like forever until you began to feel a nudge at your thigh. You reached down between your heated bodies to find him, wrapping your hands around his girth and stroking him to full erection. Without breaking the kiss you began to shift, sliding a leg to either side of his hips. Just as you had raised up, ready to slide him deep inside you, he gripped your shoulders tight and pulled away.

“Wait.”

“Why?”

Without answering, he easily lifted and deposited you on your back beside him, before rolling to the nightstand beside the bed. He pulled out a foil packet and bottle of lube.

“Because I care about you.” He tore the packet and pulled out the condom then squeezed a few drops of lube in before rolling it over his engorged length. He added a few more drops and pumped a few times, before dropping to his back again beside you.

“Now, where were we?” he grinned.

He slipped his arm underneath you and pulled you to him, guiding your leg over his hip again. On your knees, you took him in hand but before you could position his tip at your entrance, he pressed two fingers deep in your slit, massaging and stroking, scissoring you wide. You felt the heat building again and dropped your head back with a moan, still dragging your hand up and down his length. Your pussy was squelching with the juice he was coaxing and you felt his hand slip out then wrap around yours as you both directed him inside you.

With just the tip, you already felt fuller than you ever had and you sat with that feeling for a moment, hands still wrapped around the rest of his cock and keeping you from sliding all the way down.

Once you felt yourself relax around him, you nudged his hand away with your own and began to sink, slowly, deliberately, savoring the sensation. His hands gripped your hips all the while as he gazed in wonder and concern.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fucking fantastic,” you replied, rocking back slightly to view the point of his disappearance inside you.

“Do you remember what I told you before?’ he asked, a little more heat and darkness creeping into his voice.

“I can stop you at any time.”

“Yes. And if you can’t get the words out, pinch me.”

You were going to nod your understanding, but remembered he liked to hear it as much as you did. “Yes, August.”

“Good girl.”

August began a slow roll of his ups, nudging up into you and shifting you off balance for a moment. You caught yourself with your hands on his chest, then sat back up to start a slow grind of your own. For several long minutes it was just you riding him slowly, like an easy afternoon stroll, completely in sync with his movements.

When he began to pump faster, you braced your hands on his legs behind you trying to hold on for dear life. He gripped you by the hips and held you in place while bucked and then he ran his hands up your sides and hauled you down to his chest. He wrapped his arms around your back and held you so close, kissed you so hard, rocked even deeper into you than you ever thought possible and just when you thought it was about to hit you like a ton of bricks, he flipped you to your back.

He started a slower pace now, still holding you close, still ravishing your mouth. But when you wrapped a leg around his back, he lifted himself onto his arms and looked down between you then over to the leg at his side. With a devilish grin, he reached back and under that leg, shifting it up over his shoulder. He picked up the pace, returning to the steady jackhammering you’d experienced while on top. And while you didn’t think deeper was possible, here he was, moving your limbs around to find more space. He pulled your other leg up now, no longer leaning forward, but up on his knees, holding you open before him while he pounded away.

This was more than you’d ever felt before. This was precision fucking at it finest and you were barely holding on.

“You can let go, Angel. You can come around my cock, squeeze me hard. I won’t break,” he commended you, letting go of one leg and reaching down to massage your clit again with his thumb. That was all it took.

“Oh shit. Fuck. Fuck, August, Fuck!”

“That’s it, Angel. I can feel you right now,” he growled. “Feel all the heat bursting inside you, feel your walls squeezing around me. Can you feel it?”

“Yes, yes, fuck yes. My god. Fuuuuuuuuuck! Fuck! Please,” you pleaded, panting and feeling like you were about to pass out. “Please.”

“Please what, Angel?”

“Please…” you didn’t exactly want him to stop but you weren’t sure how much more you could take either.

“Do you need me to stop?”

“I want you to come. Please August.”

He clenched his jaw and gave a few more hard thrusts before pulling out and flipping you one more time to your hands and knees. You could barely hold yourself up, sinking to your forearms, head into the mattress. But your ass was still in the air and your pussy was still on display for him and he took you one more time. He lined himself up again behind you, sheathed himself in one long simple stroke, holding still for one moment.

“You're still coming, I can feel it. God, you are amazing. You’re taking me so good.”

Incoherent babble is all he got in return. Even if you’d wanted him to stop, you could no longer form full words, let alone sentences. And how would you ever find the strength to reach back to even graze his skin, let alone pinch it? Whatever. You were riding a wave of the longest high you’d ever been on while August resumed his magnificent assault on you.

After a few more strokes, you felt him swell even larger than he already was, filling you up more fully than he already had. With one final animal roar, he released himself with a hand pressing against your lower back, slowing stilling as he filled the condom inside you. You shuddered with an aftershock and wanted to drop to your belly with him on top and never pull that blanket off.

After just a short moment, you felt his hand at your entrance, fingers drifting lightly through your folds before he gathered himself and the condom in hand and pulled all the way out for good. He pushed against you lightly to urge you flat. You vaguely registered words of praise coming from his mouth, but you were so spun off into oblivion you couldn’t be sure what they were.

From some far off place, you heard water running, then felt a dip beside you, and the wet warmth of a tender caress between your shaking legs. Somehow, you were maneuvered to your back to receive another gentle swipe, before you felt his lips press against your mouth, his tongue seeking your own.

It took everything you had to peel your eyes open and meet his gaze.

“Is that what you meant by passion?” he asked.

“It’s a start.”

August chuckled and gently eased himself to the side of the bed, swinging his legs off and standing. He tilted his head from side to side, loosening a few kinks before he strode with purpose into the bathroom. When he returned, he held out a blue silk robe and helped you into it once you stood from the bed. He tied the belt around your waist, then reached to the floor for his matching pants. As he stood, he gathered you in his arms for another kiss before he took your hand and led you back downstairs.

Trailing behind him, you were pleasantly surprised to find yourself deposited on the deep plush conversation sofa. August flipped on the switch to the gas fireplace and leaned over to drop one more kiss on your lips, then told you to sit tight.

The warm glow of the fire mesmerized and hypnotized you, not that it was hard. You had been overstimulated and now the exhaustion was settling in. You felt high, completely spaced out. You had never felt so thoroughly and completely fucked in your entire short life.

August returned a few moments later. Or was it hours? You had no idea. All you knew was that he placed a live edge wooden serving tray holding a few bottles of water, some fruit and cheese, a few small bowls of olives, almonds, and fig jam, some cut baguette, two champagne flutes, and a bottle of bubbly on the low ottoman in front of you, then eased himself onto the couch next to you.

“Let’s get you hydrated,” he leaned forward and grabbed a bottle from the tray.

“How did you know I’d want that?” you teased, harkening back to your first night home.

“You are a cheeky one, aren’t you?” August opened the bottle and pulled you close, tipping the cool, sweet water into your open mouth, eyes watching you closely to see when you’d had enough.

“Only for you,” you purred, reaching for the bottle so you could take another drink for yourself. When you pulled the bottle away from your lips, August bent to steal another kiss from you.

“A little dangerous, too.” He shifted a knuckle along your jaw, catching the soft indent in your chin to bring your face back to his. He kissed you for what felt like a millenia and you could have stayed that way all night. And then it hit you.

“Dangerous how?” you asked, when you pulled away reluctantly.

August closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, still leaning forward from the broken kiss. He sat up straighter when he exhaled and opened his eyes.

“My sweet Angel. I really didn’t mean to spoil our moment, but in a million years could you ever imagine this night could happen again?”

He held your gaze, and wouldn't let you turn away. You could see the anguish in his eyes. This wasn’t a lie.

“But why would…?”

“You deserve to know the passion you crave. I wanted to help you learn about your desire. You are a strong, intelligent, thoughtful, and gorgeous woman. I wanted you to see you are capable of getting everything you want. You only need to be sure of it. And perhaps understand you can ask for more.”

“But I want you.”

August didn’t reply immediately and in the silence you knew he was thinking of exactly the same person you now were. If you were ever going to keep this night a secret from her, you’d have to make it a solitary event with no hope of a repeat. How were you ever going to deny your craving?

“Come here.” August set your bottle of water aside and drew you into his arms, leaning back against the sofa as you relaxed onto his chest. He kissed the top of your head and ran a hand slowly up and down your back.

“This isn’t fair,” you murmured.

“Life rarely is, Angel. Come on, let’s just enjoy the time we do have. What d’you say, hmm?”

You nodded and sniffed away the beginnings of your tears. August gently sat you up, then prepared small bites of food from the tray and brought them to your lips. You soaked in all the attention, certain you’d never feel so safe and loved again in your life.

With some energy back, you felt your mood lighten. August was right. You should make the most of what time you have left. You reached for the champagne bottle, peeled off the foil wrap, and untwisted the thin metal cage surrounding the cork. August chuckled as he watched you struggle with the cork, so you stuck out your tongue and handed the bottle to him.

“Please?” He popped the cork with ease and poured the golden liquid for you both.

“A toast?” He raised his glass to yours and watched closely as you mulled it over.

“To one night only.”

“One night only.” He smiled with a nod and watched as you took a sip, then stole a kiss before taking a drink from his own glass. He grabbed a strawberry from the tray and held it to your lips as you took a bite. “Now another drink.”

You almost squealed as the flavors exploded in your mouth.

“When you try this on your own, be sure to get an extra-dry champagne,” August cautioned. “Moet brut won’t work with this flavor combination.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind when I replenish my champagne cooler at school,” you teased. “What about this one?” You took another bite of strawberry and a sip of champagne, then leaned in for a kiss letting the flavors swirl in your mouth alongside his tongue. August continued the kiss, even as he set his glass aside and grabbed for yours to set it down as well.

He eased you to your back on the couch and slipped the tie loose from your robe before he finally broke the kiss.

“That’s also a good one. You’re quite the quick study.” He pushed the fabric aside, baring your chest and stomach, then appraised you for a moment before running his fingers over your breasts and down your belly, letting his mouth follow the trail.

You let out a soft moan and spread your legs involuntarily as he shifted to the floor and tugged your hips around so your ass was hanging off the sofa to give him better access. He let your legs rest over his shoulders and you sighed as he once again slipped his tongue and fingers through your folds, ravishing your core to bring another orgasm crashing over you.

You barely had a moment to recover before you felt the belt of your robe sliding out from underneath you and in a swift heartbeat, August had you flipped over, urging you onto your knees on the cushions with your arms leaning on the back of the couch. You peered back at him, while he shifted the fabric of the robe over your back, letting it drape off to the side and leaving your bare ass and legs completely exposed to him. He watched you carefully as he rubbed a large hand over one cheek, then drew back and spanked you hard. He was already caressing the red mark before the shocked gasp left your lips. He quirked an eyebrow at you in a silent question. Again?

You pondered the feeling and decided that yes, August Walker could spank your ass. You turned your head to peer over the back of the couch and jutted your hips back towards him wordlessly asking for more, which he gladly gave. The sharp smacks were sometimes single, sometimes doubled up, but always tempered with a gentle caress before he dealt another blow.

You were dripping for him. When he dragged two fingers through your soft petals to gather the nectar, you glanced back to see him wrap his lips around his fingers and lick your taste off them. Then he reached his hand in the pockets of his pants and withdrew another foil square before dropping his pants altogether.

“You planned this,” you cried in feigned scandal.

“I hoped for it. Not the same thing,” he gently replied, rolling the condom over his swollen length. “But it’s always good to be prepared. Speaking of which…”

August reached forward to grasp the silk belt he’d tossed aside, then drew one of your arms back behind you.

“May I have your other arm, Angel?”

You offered it without hesitation, shifting off the back of the couch so that all your weight was now on your knees. You felt him loop the belt around both wrists separately before he wrapped the tie a few more times around both. Holding the binds of your wrists in one hand, he used the other to guide his sheathed cock to your soaked pussy, gliding easily into your core. Once his hips met yours, he started a commanding pace, pumping in and out of you all the while holding you in place with your hands.

As if he could feel you losing control, unable to stay up straight any longer, August let the belt slips a few inches through his fingers before gripping tight again, giving you enough room to bend forward and rest your chest on the back of the couch while he continued to pump in and out of you with a devastating pace, the juice from you squelching around his cock.

“You fucking take me so good, Angel. Such a pretty pussy. Can you hear her talking to me? She says the sweetest things.”

He set a hand on your low back and pressed his against your stretched entrance, letting it drag along his cock as he moved back and forth and gathering some of your slick on the pad. You felt him ease his hand up, fingers pressing into the flesh of your asscheeks before he teased around your puckered rim with his thumb. When the moan escaped your mouth he knew he was on the right path and wasted no more time. He slipped his thumb right into your hole and held on while you bucked back against him.

“Fuck yeah, you like that, don’t you? Fucking my cock so good. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. August, fuck yes.” You could barely form more words so moans of pleasure and squeals of delight were all he heard but they were enough to spur him on and lead him down the path of his own release just as soon as he felt yours.

With one practiced tug, he released you from the bind and eased himself out of your still pulsing pussy, then guided you to stand before him, pressing kisses along your shoulders and neck while he pulled the spent condom off his softening dick. He grabbed a napkin from the tray and wrapped it in a wad before spinning you to face him and kissing you hard.

“Let’s get cleaned up.”

He led you upstairs one last time, abandoning the snack platter and half-full champagne bottle. He took you through to his bathroom, turned on the warm spray jets of the tiled shower, then disrobed you completely. You stepped into the glass cabinet and turned to grab his arm to bring him with you.

Without prompting, he grabbed a bar of the same bright citrus scented soap you always found in your guest room and lathered you up. If you weren’t about to fall asleep on your feet, you’d succumb so easily to the way his fingers danced across your skin, caressing every nook and cranny like they knew the way by heart. He spun you into the water to rinse and set to cleaning himself.

And now you had your answer. It was body wash, with a woodsy, pine scent. He rubbed it all over his body with his bare hands. He watched you watching, mesmerized at the way his muscles moved and the carefree way he gathered his own package and lathered it with suds before shifting you gently out of the way and rinsing off under the cascading water.

Yes, he leaned an arm against the wall, but that could be just because you were with him and he wanted to encase you while he kissed you, tongue probing gently and mouths moving in unison. He groaned as he pulled away.

“We’d better get some sleep.”

The fluffy towel he dried you with was heavenly against your skin. He toweled himself as well before leading you back to his bed.

“Are you comfortable sleeping here with me tonight?” he asked. “If you’d rather wake up in your own bed, I’d understand.”

It was uncharacteristically sweet, the way August was now wondering how you would feel in the morning, knowing you could never have him again.

“I’d like to stay with you for tonight, if that’s okay.”

“More than okay.” He pulled the covers back and slipped in, holding them up for you to join him. Wrapped in his arms, head against his chest, you found yourself drifting off faster than you would have liked. You loved pillow talk, but supposed you’d managed that with him before, during, and a little after downstairs by the fire. Besides, pillow talk was for lovers. Which you were now assured you were not.

You woke later than you’d planned, your body still clearly recovering from the unexpected vigorous activity. August was not with you and though you knew the morning would not be a time to whisper sweet nothings, still you’d hoped to wake in his arms, just as you’d fallen asleep. The robe he’d lent you last night was draped across the foot of the bed and your lingerie was folded neatly on a chair nearby.

You shrugged into the robe and grabbed your things, then headed downstairs where you could smell coffee already brewed but found no sign of August in the kitchen. You continued down to your room where you realized you’d left your phone all night. Shit.

When you picked it up, there were about ten messages from Gemma and you braced yourself as you opened the app to read them. Yes, in the end she wondered where the fuck you were and why you weren’t answering her but there was no urgent call to get her immediately. The night with Mike seemed like it had gone exactly as planned.

She only wanted to let you know Mike’s friends were throwing a New Year’s party and of course you were invited. Mike even had a university friend coming in from out of town for the party and Gemma wanted to set you up with him. The guy in the picture she sent looked cute enough. Apparently he sailed and had dark, wavy hair, a little shorter than Mike’s. His smile was amazing, but to your eyes, he was a boy. He would never compare, you were sure.

Just as you were contemplating how to let him down gently, your phone rang and Gemma’s number appeared. You took a deep breath and hoped nothing in your voice would betray you.

“Hey!” you answered brightly.

“Whoa, too much. Too loud. Calm down.” Gemma was hungover, for sure.

“Sorry,” you quieted. “Everything okay?”

“I think I drank a liquor store last night. Mike’s still passed out, but I need my bed. Can you come get me?”

“Now? Yeah. Of course. Let me just get my shoes on. See you in thirty?”

Gemma agreed, though she wished you’d ignore some of the speed signs along the way and you laughed, promising to grab a Vitamin Water from the fridge before you left.

You noticed another message come through just as you hung up with Gemma. August was in his office. He didn’t want you to think you’d been abandoned, but he had to get an early start for meetings and wanted to let you sleep in. You texted him you were off to get Gemma. Chat bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times before a solitary frowny face finally appeared.

With no idea how to respond and not a lot of time to spare hashing it out, you dressed quickly, grateful you’d already washed off last night’s extravagance. You grabbed the keys to Gemma’s car, grabbed a water from the gym, and headed back out to the garage.

Gemma was still too dazed to inquire much about why you were absent from your phone last night and you didn’t offer any conversation about it. The whole drive was pretty quiet except for the radio. August was gone when you got back and while Gemma couldn’t care less, you were a little let down. You’d hoped you’d be able to at least sit with him a bit while Gemma slept off the rest of her hangover, but that wasn’t to be.

He kept himself pretty scarce the rest of the week, too, texting Gemma he wouldn’t be home for dinner any of the nights until you were scheduled to head back home for Christmas Eve. Four long-suffering nights and days filled with late breakfasts by the pool and dinner and drinks in town with Mike and other friends. You barely got to say goodbye to August as he breezed off to one final meeting the morning of the 24th before Gemma came upstairs to grab coffee.

Christmas was low key with just the six of you at your parents. No other relatives were traveling in and no one else nearby had invited you over for anything special. Gemma always celebrated alone with her dad, too. Your aunt wanted to take you and your mom to the sales the day after Christmas and that was an all day, exhausting affair. You were in bed by 9.

Over the next five days, you visited with Gemma and Mike, old high school friends, and your parents a few times. But never August. Gemma said as wonderful as Christmas was with him, he was stressing about the deal and spending all his time at the office since the day after. He needed to get the deal signed by the 31st at the absolute latest. And his company’s New Year’s Eve gala was set for the Grand Hotel downtown. He’d offered you both tickets, but Gemma really wanted to hang out with Mike.

Will was nice enough, if a little on the arrogant side. He was a good kisser and you could kinda imagine what he might be able to do with that mouth placed somewhere else, but then you really thought about it and decided the missing facial hair would change the feel. Nevermind. He was at least gracious about the letdown.

The drive back to school was a little somber. You were still trying to figure out if there was any possibility of a roommate swap. Gemma offered to just put you up at her place for the semester, but you didn’t want to sleep on a couch fantasizing about her father while she was in the other room. Maybe Brigette would just spend all her time at Charlie’s, like you should have.

A few days after the start of classes, a small package arrived for you in your mailbox. You’d grabbed it on the way to your Criminal Procedures lecture and stuck it in your backpack to open later. When you got back to your room after taking advantage of office hours to clear the theme for your research paper, you sat cross legged on your bed and opened the small, cardboard box. Inside, nestled in tiny, delicate packing peanuts, was an even smaller, embossed white paper sleeve surrounding a small, red velvety square box.

Inside was a thin, delicate gold chain, with a charm of black onyx arranged in the gold outline of an art deco wing. An angel's wing.

You searched the box for a card and finally found one buried under the packing material once you realized you’d opened the box upside down. There was a simple message to you.

'Angel. This belongs on the part of you I never got the chance to chain. Remember all you are worth and take it as you can. Yours for one night. - A’

Taglist (if you are crossed out I can’t tag you)

Anything: @kittenofdoomage @sillyrabbit81 @kebabgirl67 @feelmyroarrrr @beck07990 @mysweetlittledesire @mollymal @summersong69 (Old times sake? @littlegreenplasticsoldier @sebbytrash @anotherwinchesterfangirl )

Holiday Angel: @angelcavill66 @lizzystuffsthings @plaidcat4815 @augustsprincess @alexakeyloveloki @gofirityouguys

#august walker #august walker x reader #august walker fanfic #august walker fanfiction #august walker au #ceo!august walker #ceo!august #best friend's dad #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #holiday angel #mine

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pedropascallme · 3 months

Note

I adore ur professor Haas series I was wondering if you could do one where he has a lot of work to do so he makes u cockwarm, but eventually gives into ur pleads 🙈🙈🙈🙈 thank you!!!!

Fatal Distraction

Pairing: professor!Damien x f!Reader

Summary: "Wearing an old Pokémon shirt you had found in his dresser, you found your way to his office and felt yourself blush at the sight; it almost made you laugh out loud, the fact that, even after he had ravished you the way he did time and time again, there was still something about the way his jaw tensed, how his hair fell over his eyes in a way that hid the top half of his glasses, the motion of his eyes as they scanned the papers he read, that made you go red with a sort of schoolgirl embarrassment. Part of you seemed to still be worried you’d get caught staring at your hot professor."

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI) implied age gap (Damien is his actual current age, reader is 20-22), student/teacher relationship, dom/sub dynamics, p in v sex, praise, dirty talk, very mild degradation (use of the word slut), spanking, thigh man Damien makes a brief appearance again, If I missed anything please let me know!

AN: Guys you know how I love soft!dom Damien but this is...this might be full on dom Damien...and I apologize for nothing!

Maybe there was a scientific word for it, a phrase that explained why you derived so much pleasure from watching him squirm at the way you teased him before he gave in and took control. Schadenfreude didn’t begin to cover it, but you knew that’s what he would say if you told him about the inner workings of your mind.

To be fair, he had to put that German degree to use somehow.

You could hear Damien in his office from down the hall, papers flitting, followed by an audible sigh; giving assignments wasn’t fun, per se, but at least he knew his students would be able to learn something from them—even if they happened to cheat somehow, trying to circumvent the required readings or zoning out while he lectured new concepts in class, they still had to figure out a way to make it seem like they knew what they were talking about. But grading had to be the epitome of tedium. He’d figured that, at this point in his career, he would’ve figured out a way to make the time pass faster, find a method that made it less drawn out.

That still hadn’t happened, and he’d started to come to terms with the fact that it likely never would.

Your weekend liaisons at the home of your professor had become more frequent; your toothbrush sat next to his in the bathroom, you kept your skincare products stacked neatly in the corner of the bedroom you had laid claim to, and you had an assigned side of the bed (left, because it was closer to the phone charger). It didn’t bother you that he had to get up early to finish grading most days, given that you had him all to yourself for the rest of the day (and for most of the night,) but today you felt…devious.

It wasn’t your fault that you still had an ache between your legs; sure, part of it was enduring soreness from the previous night, a memory of the way he had caged you beneath him and coaxed orgasm after orgasm from you while his hips snapped desperately against you—but mostly it was simply because you were in his presence, surrounded by the scent of his body wash, and the smell of old books that seemed to linger in the air of the apartment, mingling to create something so perfectly Damien.

It was just him, that’s what did it for you. Him.

Wearing an old Pokémon shirt you had found in his dresser, you found your way to his office and felt yourself blush at the sight; it almost made you laugh out loud, the fact that, even after he had ravished you the way he did time and time again, there was still something about the way his jaw tensed, how his hair fell over his face to hide the top half of his glasses, the motion of his eyes as they scanned the papers he read, that made you go red with a sort of schoolgirl embarrassment. Part of you seemed to still be worried you’d get caught staring at your hot professor.

“Busy?” You came up behind him, dropping a hand over his chest and stooping down to where he sat to place soft kisses on his neck. You always appreciated when he wore his white undershirts around the house; his skin exposed to you, warm and welcoming, and the silhouette they created was magnificent.

“Yeah,” it came out a near-whine as he leaned back into you, raising his head to offer you more access to the flesh you were sucking on and creating the opportunity for you to trace a path down his collar bones with the hand not stabilizing you on his chest. “I feel like it's all just blurring together, though. I need to stop grading on minimal sleep.”

“Is this you kicking me out?” You quipped, and you felt one of his hands come up to root itself in your hair.

“Never,” he pulled you up for a brief kiss before he let out another sigh. “I’m sorry I’m so busy all the time—I know you say you don’t care, but—”

“I don’t care.” You cut him off, placing a kiss just under his ear, circling his pulse-point with your lips.

“I know! But…I don’t want you to get bored—or think I’m boring, or, or think that this is me pulling back, or something…”

Now you did laugh, letting the sound catch in his skin where your head rested. “You’re working yourself up, Professor,” you felt him breathe deep at the use of the title, “I know how interested you are in me.” You moved from your spot behind him, carefully placing yourself in front of him before straddling his lap, “And I’m just as interested in you. Promise.” You grabbed his hand, lowering it to your naked core and letting his fingers ghost the slick that still coated your lower half from your previous romp. You bent yourself forward to kiss his pulse point again, “I don’t think you’re boring in the slightest.”

Damien’s head fell back against the chair he sat on, trying desperately to keep his composure. “God, don’t do this to me now, baby,” his fingers moved to trace circles on your clit, and you couldn’t tell which experience was best—the way his stiffening, clothed cock felt under your weight, or the way his hands felt on your cunt, or the way he was so quickly falling victim to your teasing, practically squirming in his seat and incapable of tearing his gaze from you. “Never gonna finish grading…”

“I can go if you want,” you taunted, beginning to stand before his hands found your waist and pulled you back down to him, “I mean, if you aren’t interested…”

“You’re an incredibly persuasive distraction.” His jaw clenched and you knew he could feel how wet you were now, even through his sweatpants.

“I’ll go, since you want me to stop,” you tilted your head down at him, “let you finish all that work you have to do. I can take care of myself, you know.”

He inhaled sharply, and you watched his face turn from playful to stern; eyebrows creasing, and only a faint smirk on his lips. “You’re going to let me finish my work,” he wrapped an arm around your waist, “but you’re not going anywhere.”

You didn’t anticipate his next move, too focused on how handsome he looked when the lust finally overtook his eyes; he worked quickly to pull his sweatpants down just enough to release his cock, then hoisted you higher, before letting you sink down onto him. He gritted his teeth when he felt himself against your entrance, the pleasure heightened by your startled moans of approval before you took him fully. He closed his eyes so as not to give away the intense satisfaction you were providing him—he couldn’t just reward you for purposely trying to sidetrack him from work that had a deadline.

You whimpered, arms wrapped around his neck, wiggling your hips in an attempt to get him to do something that would give you some relief, and let you enjoy how full he made you feel.

“Don’t move—look at me, ok?—don’t move.” He caressed your cheek and a confusing mixture of disappointment and lust settled into your stomach: the perfect recipe for desire. “You wanna distract me so bad? I’m using you to the fullest extent, then.” His voice was barely above a whisper, his words coming out thoughtful and calm, and you felt yourself clench around him; you were so desperate, fueled by his dominance. “You’re gonna be good for me, right?” He raised an eyebrow and you nodded fervently.

“Yeah—yes, sir, I’ll be good. I’ll be so good for you.” You found solace in the crook of his neck, trying not to squirm despite the way your body screamed at you to move.

“My good girl.” He squeezed your thigh, rubbing circles on the flesh with his palm and kneading it occasionally. He picked up his grading where he left off.

You thought maybe you could get through this. You had brought it on yourself, in all fairness, and you did love the way he took control, but the more animalistic part of your brain was hungry, yearning for him to take control in a more depraved manner—the kind that made you see stars and scream his name into the bedsheets.

He leaned forward to pick something up from his desk, and your patience completely dissipated when you felt the muscles of his stomach tense against you and the tip of his cock nestle deeper into your dripping hole, brushing a spot inside of you that he just had to know would make you abandon your promise to be good.

You let out a shrill whine, your hands finding his shoulder blades and pulling him into you. “Please,” you pushed your face deeper into the skin of his neck, “Please, I need it.”

“Need what?” He settled properly back into his seat again, still focused on the assignment he had in his hand.

“I need it—you. Please? Fuck me, it hurts, I need you.” You begged, trying to squeeze your thighs around his waist in an attempt to supply yourself some friction.

“Thought you liked when it hurt?” Was all he said, deadpan, brushing off your appeals—though his cock throbbed at the way you clenched around him, and he’d be lying if he said he cared about the paper he was trying to grade.

His response only drew more whimpers; pleading moans fell from your lips as you tried to hold onto the shred of hope that if you remained good, stayed still, he would fuck you like you needed to be fucked. But that hope was enveloped quickly by the feeling of his hand moving up your thigh and over the curve of your ass, kneading the flesh gently before spanking you once.

“You think maybe you should apologize for distracting me?” He growled, “Apologize for acting so needy after you promised to be a good girl?” He spanked you again, harder this time, and you couldn’t help the way your hips lurched forward, or the way your breath caught in your throat when you cried out.

Damien straightened in his chair, looking up at you, like he was worshipping at the shrine of your body. When you looked down at him, he reached his hand up to brush his thumb over the upper part of your cheek, wiping the exasperated tears that had fallen from your eyes.

“Think you should apologize for acting like a slut?” Again, his words came out so calm, so collected. Maybe that's what did it, the way he managed to stay domineering with such ease, or it could’ve been the fact that he had never called you that before, despite his moaned assent when you referred to yourself that way when he fucked you nice and rough. It might have just been the fact that he was presenting you with such a perfect window of opportunity, with his gaze locked in yours the way it was, after nearly an hour of wishing and waiting.

Whatever it was, your restraint had officially snapped, and you practically dove into him, finding his mouth with your own and pulling him into a messy kiss; drool threatened to spill over your lower lip, and your top teeth occasionally met his, but neither of you cared—you’d waited long enough.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to breathe between heated kisses, “I’m sorry for being a slut—I’m sorry, I won’t distract you again, sir, I’m sorry—” Before he cut you off with another kiss, his fingers weaving through your hair as he pulled your face as close as he could. His other arm wrapped around your waist, and he began to push his hips up into you with zero hesitation. You gasped against his mouth, giving him the perfect opportunity to let his tongue dip between your lips and lick into you.

“You’re so,” he kissed you again, “fucking,” then on your neck, “perfect,” and on your collar, bottom lip just barely grazing the old shirt you still had on. “Perfect girl—god, that’s it.” He stuttered when you bounced back onto him, finding a rhythm with each other and getting rid of the pent up need that coursed through the both of you. He reached a hand under your shirt and squeezed your breast, fingers circling your nipple before he rolled it in his thumb and index finger, quick to notice the way you pushed your chest into him and cried out for more, more, more.

He was unrelenting; even in a position where you had so much control, hands planted on his chest and body above him, he managed to flip the script and put you in your place, dominating you to the point where you were malleable and helpless.

“Feels so good, I—Damien!” You threw your head back at the feeling of his cock pushing your limits, the stretch of your cunt and the burn of your thighs rivaled by the way his deep thrusts pushed the head of his cock against your cervix.

“Yeah? Like that, baby?” He lifted you slightly, giving him more space to move his hips at the rough pace he had set and admire the way you bounced up and down. “Still hurting?” He goaded you, and all you could do was moan at his words and the way his hips snapped into you, too close to the edge to focus on anything but showing him how good he made you feel.

"If you wanna act like a slut, I'll treat you like one," he continued, obsessed with how your eyes rolled back in thrill at the degradation. "That's what you want, right? Just wanted to get fucked."

You fell forward against him. Quiet moans and whispered yeah, like thats and please, it feels so goods escaped up from your throat while he worked you to completion. Damien removed his hand from under your shirt, finding your clit and massaging shapes against it in time with his thrusts, unable to decide which view he liked more: the one where he got to watch you tremble against him, face flushed and lost in pleasure scrunched against him and occasionally meeting his gaze to plant a frenzied kiss wherever you could reach; or the one where he could see the way your cunt swallowed him, squeezing his shaft and coating him in your wet with every roll of his hips, his own fingers massaging your clit.

“Gonna—I’m—” you choked on your words, but he knew what you were saying, the feeling of the familiar flutter of your walls around his length telling him you were close.

“You can cum,” he assured, “show me how pretty you look when you cum for me, baby.” He pushed you down onto him, dragging your hips over his with his hands, letting you feel him as deep as you could, resuming his ministrations on your clit after you began to move on your own accord.

You came hard, all but collapsing onto him, practically boneless and unable to feel anything but pleasure, and affection for the man who had provided it.

Damien wasn’t far behind, his movements relaxing slightly. “Where do you want me, baby?” One arm curled around you, the other holding the back of your neck in an affectionate vice grip.

“Inside.” You whispered, and with a growl and a string of curses he quickly obliged, needing only the sound of your fucked-out voice in his ear to bring him to his high.

You stayed wrapped up together, sticky and sweaty, neither of you too eager to move, content to stay connected for as long as you could.

Damien wrapped you in a tight hug, mouth dropping to your ear to whisper to you. “You’re so perfect,” he cooed, “smart and beautiful and perfect. You know that?”

You raised your head from its resting place on his shoulder and greeted him with a sleepy grin, “I know." You toyed with the hair on the nape of his neck before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, straightening them for him, “So are you.” You returned to his shoulder, squishing your cheek against him and leaving small kisses on his neck. “So perfect.” You whispered.

“I hope you know not to...y'know, what I say when we fuck, if I'm being...mean, or if I say something you don't like, or—" He blinked rapidly as he tried to find the right words, anxious that you would take his dirty talk to heart, that you would take it personally in all the wrong ways. "I think the world of you."

You giggled, and the sound made his shoulders relax.

“I know, Damien,” and you did know, without him having to explain his entire train of thought.

You knew how he felt about you. You knew because you felt the same way.

“Good.” He conceded, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry for distracting you. I know you’re busy.”

“Don’t be sorry. You make grading papers a lot less…monotonous.” He kissed your shoulder again. “I’m always happy to be distracted by you.”

“Good,” you echoed his earlier sentiment, “I’m always happy to distract you.”

"You wanna come distract me in the shower?" He squeezed your thigh.

"Yeah. I do."

#damien haas #damien haas fanfiction #damien haas smut #damien haas x reader #damien haas x you #smosh #smosh fanfiction #smosh fic #smosh smut #smosh games #smosh pit #smosh squad #smoshblr

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rustboxstarr · 7 months

Text

🏖Grown Ups🏖 part 2

Summary: You've been pulling away from Eddie recently its not until summer vacation that you finally find your way back to him.

Pairings: Dad!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Mom!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Angst. Swearing, use of Y/N, kinda hints that reader is tall, and not blonde but if that aint u just ignore it haha, Steve once again being an insightful mama hen, accidental hurting animals (the bird scene), slightly persuasive of venturing out of comfort zone (friend to reader) but its all in good nature, age gap one sided flirting, accusations of cheating, talk of depression, oral m receiving, soft dom!Reader, mention of blood, sexy photos, talks of masturbation, P in V, sexual powerplay, mean degrading, blood, slapping, angry makeup sex for deep set feelings after a long time, smoking, R comes from abusive home, crying, bad views on emotions from R, talk of death, loosing a parent, homelessness, allusion to deadly overdose.

Wordcount: 22 k

A/N: Holy hell this took some time, life has just been beating the crap out of me lately but thank you all so much for all the support and love and patience, it means so much to me ❤️

Eddie is not a dick ok, he doesn’t only think about sex all the time, he just comes off as one because its smut hahahaha.

Lets just ignore the fact that big girls chafe haha.

Eddies tall now because I said so, sorry not sorry, he's like 2 cm taller than me, sue me for having a preference.

Love yas!

Part 1

Drawings I made for the fic for some visuals 😊

Grown Ups masterlist

Check out my other works!

Max (35), Lukas (35) - twins Eric (6) and Billy (6)

El (35), Mike (35) - no kids

Dustin (35), Suzie (35) - Willow (11 months)

Eddie (41), You (40) - Ophelia (10) and Roxette (7)

Gareth (37) - single, no kids

Luke -unnamed freak (39), Simone (38) - Tom (5) and Oliver (3) - not that it matters but Simone is african american so the kids are mixed incase it might be nice to visualise

Jeff (37), Tracy (45) - Ariana (16) (Tracy's daughter)

Will (35), Winter (33) - no kids

Steve (40), Nancy (39) - Mercy (11), Lousie (9), Rachel (7), Marcus(5), Bianca (3) and Dustin (2)

Jonathan (39), Charlotte (41) - Emma (6), Charlie (4) and Lilly (2)

Robin(39), Vickie(39) - no kids

Argyle (40), Eden (38) - no kids

Holly (26)- no kids

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The sun was blaring down on the two men as Steve hovered behind Eddie going through the motions of checking the vital parts of the engine to the Harrington-Wheeler Chrysler minivan.

Sweat beads threatened to drip down Eddies forehead under his damp bangs, his hair tied back in a low bun as he bent over the hood, grime building up under his nails and staining his fingers as he picked and pulled at parts, finally he stood up, cracking his back, only prolonging the inevitable as Steve watched him expectantly.

“Your oxygen sensor is malfunctioning” he wiped his hands off on his trunks, making a mental note to wash them later, “And that means?...” Steve crossed his arms and leant forward to inspect the different mechanics he had no idea about “The engine computer won't be able to correctly set the air to fuel ratio, which means lower fuel economy, higher emissions and a high probability of damage to other components, such as an overheating the catalytic converter” Eddie stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, his professional vocabulary shining through “Jesus dude english” Steve groaned, all the unfamiliar words working up some anxiety in his chest, worrying he would have to trade in a new car which would undoubtedly cost them a lot just when they'd gotten settled and comfortable with the economy.

“You're gonna have to get it replaced” Steve relaxed but only a little bit “but you're not taking this hunk of junk out on the road” just as Steve was about to complain about how they needed the car to get back home a rusty Chevrolet Chevette whizzed over the gravel, screeching as it came to a stop, haphazardly parking squint between two cars, cutting off his train of thought as he mimicked Eddies reaction of wincing at the loud noise.

The formerly cherry red now prominently rust door opened and a short blonde figure in a low-cut, cropped, baby pink tanktop and daisy dukes emerged with a wide grin on her face “Holly!” Eddie greeted as he turned to face Nancy and Mike's younger sister who he hadn't seen in nearly 10 years “Hiiii!” she waved happily as she closed the door and walked over to the pair “Lovely to see you” Steve let his arms fall to his sides as Eddie closed the hood to the car “You too Steve. So what you two up to?”

Her arms crossed at the wrist as she played with her bracelet, looking up at Eddie with wide doe eyes “Just checking out Steves tin can” Eddie chuckled as he did a quick scan of the girl in front of him before meeting her eyes, a smirk tugged at her lips as she made a subtle show of pushing her breasts together further with her crossed hands. Steve frowned behind Eddie's back as Holly continued her pleasantries “Oh that's right you’re a mechanic, real man's job” she gave a sultry smirk as it was Eddie's turn to frown slightly in confusion, “What do you do again Steve?” Steve cleared his throat and stood up straight “Uh I’m an accountant” for some reason Holly's comment made him suddenly insecure about his job. He felt the need to puff out his chest to stand up for himself in some strange way. Holly only hummed in response, “Uh Mikes over there and I think Nancy's inside” Eddie pointed towards the beach. Holly gave a wide smirk and walked off with a wave of her slim fingers.

Eddie cleared his throat “Uh ok anyway, yeah you can't take the car out on the road but I can pop by an auto shop and pick up the parts, saves you a fortune of doing it here” they both began strolling over to the beach again as they went over the costs for the parts.

Your eyes drifted from looking out over the lake with the squealing kids and laughing adults to see Holly make her way over to the group of what you all still considered to be the kids, namely, Dustin, Suzie, Max, El, Mike and Lucas scattered on towels soaking up the sun. Gareth sat beside you deep in a monologue about some car he was working on, if you were completely honest you weren't really listening, simply content in being in the sun during summer, away from work and enjoying time with your kids and Eddie, still on a high from being reconnected with him.

You were pulled out of your peaceful bliss when you felt a tug on your hair, turning around to be met by the man himself, your husband, who smacked a kiss to your forehead, further lightening your mood as Dustin clapped his hands together. “So, who’s coming on the hike? There's a tree swing which I think the kids would like, goes over the water” he grinned as he looked around.

Soon enough Luke and his eldest Tom, Dustin with his Willow, Steve and Nancy with Mercy, Louise and Rachel as well as Robin, and you and your little family -save for Roxette who was left in Ariana's room as they gossiped about the music industry- were gathered outside the cabin as Dustin pushed off, leading the group behind him. “Knew you'd wear the shorts” Eddie breathed in your left ear as you watched Ophelia run off to chatter happily with Steve's girls.

You giggled as you felt a strong large hand squeeze at your right asscheek, “They're are the only ones I had, seeing as someone thought my cargos were their cargos and switched them out for their own denim ones” you pulled at the black denim fabric on his thigh as evidence to your point “Maybe I did it on purpose” he grinned as he slipped around to walk next to your left, slipping his fingers between yours to hold your hand. “I would hope so, I still have hope for your fried ass brain, be nice to know its not too far gone that you can't tell the difference between an article of clothing twice the size of yours” you grinned up at him, gum peeking through at the front where it threatened to fall out from the loose bite around it.

“How dare you? I was like the smartest person in our grade” he grinned wickedly at his joke as he slipped back behind you to walk on the narrow path through the woods, switching to his left hand to hold yours without being in an awkward twist. “First of all, that would be me, I mean hello? Trailer trash, near drop out and community college degree” you flashed a grin towards him before staring intently at your feet to make sure you wouldn't trip “But sure, they held you back three years to make sure you held up the average 4.2 GPA” he squeezed your hip at your cheek causing you to giggle again.

“Y/N can we talk?” Nancy rushed over once the path opened up again, leaving Steve behind you both as she looked between you and Eddie. “Sure” you grinned knowingly and let your hand slip from Eddies.

“What you think they're talking about?” Eddie asked as he watched Robin hold back to join the two of you, abandoning her conversation with a bunch of the kids. “What do you think, dumbass?” Steve snorted as he witnessed Robin jumping up and down excitedly “Why does everyone have to know what's going on all the time?” Eddie rolled his eyes “In her defence, you've been scheming with us on how to get her into bed, but I will admit she and Nancy have been talking about it for a while”

“What?”

“Well I mean Nancy gives hints, she keeps talking my ear off about girl code and how she swore she wouldn't tell anyone”

“I’m sorry, are you that interested in my sex life?” he gestured towards Steve's obvious distaste for the aforementioned ‘girl code’.

“No, but I can't be the only one who enjoys listening to my wife's gossip”

“Ok true, but wait why would she talk to Nancy about this and not me? I’m the husband, and like the actual person who it concerns!” he threw his hands out in annoyed defeat as Steve shrugged. “Don’t forget, Robin too, but she really won't tell me shit” Eddie sent him a glare at his remark. “Girl talk? Guess she just feels more comfortable talking about it with another girl. I mean, do you tell her everything?”

“Yes” Eddie deadpanned after drawing his eyes away from your giggling “Oof, eh well maybe like, establish some… rules? I don't know, just like make her aware you're willing to listen”

“Why do you know all of this? Weren't you like super unpopular with the ladies after the breakup senior year?”

“First of all, I’m smart and I communicate with my wife” he gave a knowing glare at Eddie, as if to tell him something you should be doing more “And secondly, so were you, she's like the only one you've been with”

“Didn't have to be popular, been with the same girl since I was 17” he grinned smugly.

“Hey Ophi, when we were kids your parents used to talk us into doing the craziest stuff” Dustin's voice was heard over the chatter of the group as he leant down to pass Willow over to your daughter for her to carry. “That's right” Eddie grinned a few metres away, “Yeah, I remember one time we, uh got our shower curtains, put ‘em in shopping carts and went shopping cart sailing” he stood up once he saw Ophelis was secure with his daughter and flashed a grin towards you.

Luke laughed as you shouted out a “Yeah!”, “Wait, how did you steer?” Tom piped up in confusion “Well we-we didn’t” he grinned towards his son “How’d you stop?” Louise turned, walking backwards to give her attention to Luke. “You just smashed into something” Eddie explained “That was the fun part” you piped up as Eddie found his place walking next to you again.

“We used to shoot bottle rockets at each other” Robin laughed “You always go for the guy’s face cuz’ you wanna blind him” she smirked as Mercy frowned, “Okay, no that's a little much pal” Steve patted her on the shoulder “No! No I know, kids, don't do that” she covered “You know what, erase, reboot” she waved her hands back and forth as she mimicked the sound of a cassette rewinding, Rachel and Ophelia laughing at her antics.

“Oh ho ho ho! The rope swing!” Dustin pointed as you all arrived at your destination “Oh rope on a tree baby! You know what that means” Luke inched towards the swing as Dustin held onto it excitedly. “We get to hang ourselves?” Mercy's bored voice sounded “Mercy” Steve scolded as Eddie interrupted “Are you kidding me? You see a rope and a lake and that doesnt wanna make you go nuts?” he pointed towards lake Michigan which you were now only further up the coastline of.

“It makes me wanna- you- you- you know what? Let me show ‘em, let me show ‘em” Luke stuttered excitedly as he shuffled down the cliff and towards Dustin. “Yeah baby” Dustin forced the rope over to Luke to grab onto “Dude, get on the top rock!” you shouted as he began to steady himself, multiple adults chiming in with yeah’s at your suggestion.

“Class is in session” Luke made a deep teacher's voice as he prepared to jump from the rock “Who wants to see a double flip!” he shouted as he ran off the edge of the rock, “Whee!” he exclaimed as everybody egged him on “Too high!”

“Now drop!”

“This was a mistake!”

“I can’t let go I’m to scared!” he shrieked as he turned back around on the rope, smashing right into a thick tree. He screamed guturally as he let go of the rope, doing a flip in the air and landing on the forest floor with a loud thump, he rolled over with the slope of the hill ramming right into a bush, rolling right over a high edge and thudding loudly onto the last bit of earthy floor before the shore of the lake.

The previous crowd shouting with sympathy pain silenced as he came to a stop. “That was awesome!” his son shouted excitedly, suddenly Luke popped up and into view, his face scrunched up in pain as he shrieked “Oh god! Oh god! My leg snapped!” he held onto his thigh as he shrieked, a grey and brown bone protruding from his skin, “Oh my god! The bone’s sticking out! I need help!” he continued as everyone began shrieking in horror.

“It's a stick! I got you!” he threw the supposed bone away with a clap of his hands, squirming his body in an attempt at a victory dance. Some sighed in relief as some laughed “AAHAHAHA that was good!” Dustin pointed at him as Steve, you, Eddie and Robin all laughed.

“Daddy that bird is hurt!” Rachel squealed as she pointed past Luke to something nestled between the leaves behind him. The bird flapped and chirped in strain as it attempted to rise from the ground, “Oh my god” Robin shimmied down the rock towards the bird “We’ll go get a shoebox when we get back” Nancy comforted her daughter as she clung to her leg, hiding her face.

Eddie too shimmied down towards Luke as Robin picked the bird up and placed it in a makeshift pillow which was her hoodie. Eddie reached a hand out to help him up as he asked “Hey, did you really land on that bird, man?” he watched as Luke stood up and dusted himself off “Um.. I’m not sure. I-I did hear a chirp and then a crunch-like noise, but.. That could have been anything” he shook his head dismissively as Eddie snorted “Okey”.

The group of hikers made their way back as all the kids flocked around Robin to get a look at the bird.

“After lunch I’m gonna head into town with Steve, need to get a part for the engine” Eddie caught up to you again and bent slightly down to speak to you, “Oh ok, us girls were talking about heading to that shopping mall outside of the town later” you pulled your shorts up and tugged your t-shirt down since both had adjusted after talking a large step over a fallen tree “Alright great, I’m sure the girls’ll be fine, I’ll ask Luke if he can keep an eye on them” he said as he fell behind you.

You and Eddie took it upon yourselves to cook lunch, near 10 bags of fresh pasta boiled in two large pots as Eddie heated up a hefty amount of tomato sauce. Once Robin had set out all the plates and cutlery she leaned over and whispered to Eddie “Geez, she’s really bossy” she referred to the multiple orders you had nearly shouted out and multiple warnings not to touch the food. “I heard that” you deadpanned as you stirred the pasta, Eddie only laughed “Don't worry, she’s a lot more bossy when we do other things too” he smirked, earning him a smack to the back of the head from you.

Soon enough everyone had eaten and 11 of you packed into two cars, save for Holly and Ariana who were getting to know each other in their now shared room. You with Nancy, Tracy, Simone, Charlotte, Suzie and Eden in Jonathan and Charlotte's minivan and El, Robin and Vickie, and Max in her car. The mall wasn't too big, mostly clothes shops but too many to all collectively decide on so you all split up.

A cute little independent shop was where your group was headed.

“Oh. My. God! Y/N this is perfect for you!” Charlotte squealed as she held up a dress from the maternity section where she had already found a collection of things to try on “What, maternity clothes?” you laughed as you walked over to her, so far all you'd found was a cute set of panties with a matching teddy which you had reasoned you may as well treat yourself too since it seemed you were becoming more comfortable with yourself again. “Yes a maternity dress but seriously you would look gorgeous in this” she passed over the black silky smooth t-shirt fabric flowing from a hanger. You held it up to look.

Sleeveless with a turtleneck and shapeless, something you usually shied away from as it made you look like you were wearing a garbage bag, but sliding the fabric through your hands you discovered it had slits up the side, decidedly high up on the sides, no doubt past your thighs.

“Babe this would look horrible on me” you sighed as you motioned it back to her, she didn't take it, instead she insisted “Girl this is going to look absolutely stunning on you, at least just try it on” she compromised. “Fine”

You picked up a few more things before you, Charlotte, Simone and Nancy went to try all of your chosen items on.

You most definitely felt the confidence boost as you put the dress on, hips and thighs half on display, the slits hem resting just above your hip, but as you looked in the mirror that confidence washed away. Hip dips, stretchmarks and cellulite were all on display, sure you loved your body and had no issue showing it, but on your own terms, this was definitely a dress for skinny curvy girls, and your point was proved further as you turned to the side. Plump round breasts which honestly yes they looked fucking good, but below that your stomach, devided by your bellybutton and forcing the fabric out. At least the dress wasn't skin tight, the fabric hung from the roundest part of your belly, the bottom, not sucking right back in to show the roundness of it but you weren't keen on the rolls showing.

“Is it on?” Charlotte squealed excitedly as she and the others sat on a pouffe outside, all done with their try-ons, “Yes” you sighed as you turned to look at your front again “Ooh show me, show me!” you sighed again as you hung your head, walking out to show the outfit. “Oh my god, that dress was like made for you” Simone commented as you walked out. “Yeah, Eddies going to love that” Nancy told you with wide eyes. “Babe, it looks amazing! You have to buy it!” she clapped as you made your way over to the full length mirror on the floor, twisting and turning.

“Really?” you asked anxiously as you examined the back, rolls on show and bra straps clearly digging into your fat. “Yes! Come on, it's only like $15!” you contemplated it, it wasn't much money, and you sure had spent more on clothing that you never wore “Eh what the hell?” you shrugged.

You visited a few more stores and were all sat excitedly talking about it as you made your way home. “You should wear that dress tonight” Charlotte piped up from the back as you drove her minivan. “It’s a restaurant with kids, it's not appropriate” you laughed as you pulled into the parking lot of the cabin, “So? We’ll all wear what we bought. We’ll all be inappropriate, Simone you shoulder wear that strappy mess you call lingerie” you all laughed at her response as you parked up.

She kept pestering you all the way out the car, getting the other girls to join in and agree on wearing their new outfits not lingerie which Simone stated clearly “Fine! Fine! I’ll wear it!” you laughed as you entered in the huddle “Wear what?” Eddie chuckled as he slid over to you, dropping a kiss to your lips and naturally grabbing the bags to let you slip your shoes off. “Just this dress Charlotte made me buy” Charlotte in question smirked all smug as she leaned in “You're gonna die when you see her in it” you felt on the spot as Eddie turned with a matching smirk as the pair looked at you “Oh am I?” you only rolled your eyes and grabbed the bags, ruffling Ophelia's hair as you made your way up to check on Roxette.

Thankfully the dress covered up all the hickies, was all you could think as you looked yourself in the mirror, you’d decided against the new lingerie as you riffled through your new things, you weren't 100% ready for it yet but that was ok, instead your worn your usual dark black t-shirt bra and an matching thong which had also been picked up today, only for the purpose of the dress, topping the outfit off with your old beat up converse.

Before leaving for the trip you'd packed some of your old jewellery which hadn't been worn in months, now you were thankful for it, it really pulled the outfit together. A beaded black bracelet with a star hanging from it, a black chain necklace with a ruby in the shape of a crystal tower upside down hanging low from your neck and a collection of different earrings in your various ear piercings. All matching your simple winged eyeliner, mascara and blood red lips.

“Mom, you look like a vampire!” Roxette squealed excitedly as she ran over to you at the bottom of the stairs, you laughed at her comment, pulling her greedy hands away from you as she grabbed onto the fabric. “You look really pretty mom” Ophelia smiled from her spot on the couch next to her dad who was now fully distracted from his conversation with Steve.

You could feel his eyes rake over your body painstakingly slow, drinking you up. He cleared his throat as he blinked, remembering that not only were a bunch of people around but his kids too “You look really beautiful” he breathed as his eyes found yours. “Thanks” you beamed as you followed Roxette who was dragging you over to the dining table. Surprisingly what mattered the most was the opinion of your daughters, and all insecurity was shunted away as they showered you in their own version of praise.

You felt comfortable within yourself as you sat down next to Argyle to see the comic he was telling Roxette about. Not feeling the pair of wide eyes staring at you from across the room as his daughter tugged on his arm. The only way to describe Eddie right now, was speechless. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what he was seeing. The thighs, the stomach, your tits so clearly visible from the side, round and plump. Snake tattoo framed by vines spread wide on your right thigh while a spider creeping out of a skull occupied your left. The girls initials on the back of your left arm, the flower with the eye further down, the dripping moon on your upper arm, and on your other the large spider web on your forearm, a spider resting in its creation, the dagger dripping blood above it next to the butterfly with the eye.

Eddie always liked to joke about your fascination with spiders and eyes but right now all he could do was stare at them all in a daze. He couldn't say all of his favourite parts, nor nearly all, because every part of you were his favourite parts, but most of them were on display. All for Eddie to drink up and fascinate himself with. Not only did you look so incredibly sexy but also so goddamn pretty, beautiful, breathtaking, he couldn't decide. The gods above he didn't believe in had created this devine goddess and on top of that you were his wife??

Compliments were exchanged between all the girls who wore their brand new outfits as well as some teasing directed towards not only Eddie but Jeff, Luke and Jonathan whose wives all had worn something slightly frisky. Finally after lots of back and forth everyone set out in their cars to Woodmans.

Eddie looked behind him to see both girls hot in an argument about why being the knight while playing princesses was better than being a princess and decided the coast was clear. He would love to shower you with dirty compliments but he couldn't, so the best he could do was lay a hand high up on your thigh and grasp on tightly as a sign of affection. You grinned and turned to him as he gave you a meaningful look, desperately trying to convey his message. The message being, If I could, I would fuck you right here, right now.

“Dad, you're hurting mom!” Roxette screeched from the backseat as she witnessed the skin under his hand turning a deeper shade, he quickly retracted his hand and placed it firmly on the steering wheel “No I’m not” he retorted, as if he himself was a 7 year old child too. “Yes you are, and mommy had bruises too, did you do that” she strained against her seatbelt as she attempted to look her father in the eye, you snorted before turning in your seat “No baby, I’m ok, he's not hurting me” you explained. “See” Eddie smugly chimed in as Roxy stuck her tongue out at him.

He cleared his throat as everyone made their way into the restaurant, both girls running off to talk to their friends “So uh are you not wearing any underwear?” he whispered into your ear as his free hand landed on your hip, the other occupied with holding your hand behind you “Wouldn't you like to know” your neck craned to give him eye contact as you turned, beginning to smirk as you felt his hand slip under the fabric in search of something “Is-” his fingers found the hem of your thong, slipping under it and following it down to the crook of your cheeks where it disappeared in between them “Is that a thong?” he frowned down at you in surprise “Well my normal underwear wouldn't work with this” you explained as his hand found your hip again and you adjusted the fabric to sit back over your ass.

A guttural groan left Eddie's throat as you all entered the restaurant.

The restaurant was packed with people but luckily the server brought you to a room at the back which was mostly empty, seating you all down in a cluster of tables. Dim cozy lights shone up above as 80s music played from tinny speakers. There was a lot of ruckus, convincing kids to sit down and everyone finding their seats, Luke telling his kids he was going to sit over with the grownups at a long table while they sat with the other children.

“Hey Dustin” Mike called from across the table, “Remember when we used to come here late at night after we got wasteeed!” he grinned as he sat down next to El, Lucas and Dustin hushed him just as Eric piped up “What's wasted?”, “Nice one Wheeler” Lucas groaned, “Uh wasted, uh, kids is, something that happens.. When you have a hankering for ice cream” Lucas explained to the kids now all listening in.

“I wanna get wasted” Billy stood up excitedly “I wanna get totally wasted!” Louise exclaimed, “I wanna get wasted every single day of my life!” Emma chimed in. “I wanna get chocolate wasted” Roxetted agreed, “No you don't need to get wasted, it's ok” you patted her on the back as Eddie grinned, watching you walk over from the kids table and sit down next to him.

An old round lady made her way over tugging a notebook out of her apron, “Alright everybody, you know what let me make this easy” Luke explained as silence fell over the group, “41 burgers and 41 fries, okay? And uh.. That’ll be for me, what are you guys having?” he laughed as a shared collection of awws and laughs sounded around the room. Individual meals were ordered on separate tabs despite Will and Winters offers of paying and soon enough all the food was eaten and most of the kids and adults were off playing games in the arcade across the building.

“So Eddie” Holly scooted over on the bench once Robin and Vickey walked off to play the games, now sat right next to Eddie whose conversation with Dustin had been broken off to go change Willow's diaper. “Hm?” He asked, looking up from his drink and turning his head towards her “Tell me more about your job, I never got a chance to ask before” she smiled as she crossed her legs and faced towards him, her knees pressing firmly against Eddies thigh.

“Uh pretty self explanatory really, just fixing cars days on end” he shrugged, instinctively moving his leg away at the contact but turning his torso towards her to give her his attention. “Mmm” she hummed “I bet it's really tiring, your poor muscles” she reached a hand out to grab his shoulder, squeezing lightly a few times before letting her hand linger. “Uh, it's- uh… it's not too bad” Eddie frowned, confused at the action.

Next to him you were brought away from your conversation with a few others turning to see Holly squeezing at your husband's shoulder. Not only was she touching your man but he was also letting her? You frowned as Holly leaned in “I could help loosen them up if you want” she smiled a sultry smile as she looked up at Eddie with glossed over doe eyes “Uh no thanks, my wife usually does that” apparently the mention of you didn't have the intended effect, Holly only leaned in further, her hand sliding down his shoulder to grasp at his bicep.

“Is your wife here?” her voice was dropping lower by the second as her hand slid further down to plant a firm grasp on his thigh. “Yes” you leaned past Eddie to look Holly dead in the eye, she quickly ripped her hand away from his thigh “So would you please stop flirting with my husband” you frowned in disgust as Holly stuttered. “I-I uh, I’m so sorry” she looked down towards her lap. So far you hadn't ever spoken to Holly, you hadn't seen her since you were roughly 20 and she was a mere 6 years old but now that you had you found you weren't particularly fond of the 26 year old nonetheless.

Holly scuttled off embarrassed, pushing through the double doors to the room and out into the general restaurant area. “Thanks” Eddie breathed as he turned towards you, you only hummed annoyed in response as you turned back to the others. Eddie frowned at your reaction, bending down to give a kiss to your cheek in yet another thanks, you however made no reaction as you started talking to Luke.

Just as he was about to ask you what was wrong Steve leaned over the table to get Eddie's attention, sliding over a check in thanks for his work on the minivan earlier in the day.

He didn't get any more chances to talk to you as it seemed both of you were busy talking to other people at all times, he furthermore couldn't talk to you since you and Roxette were sat with Steve and Nancy surrounded by some of their kids in their newly working car on the way home, trading places so that Ophelia, Mercy, Louise and Emma could all sit together in your car.

Anxiety was bubbling up in Eddies chest, he had just gotten you back he didn't want to lose you again.

Finally after putting the girls to bed much too late you both got a moment of peace. Eddie whispered a hey as he wrapped his arms around you the second you came through the door from brushing your teeth. “Hi” your tone was flat when you answered him, already pulling away to put your things down. “What's wrong?” he sighed as he sat down on the foot of the bed, watching as you rummaged through the bags to find your sleep shirt. “Nothing” your tone was still flat but it let up in an exasperated “I’m just tired”. This time as you took your clothes off, Eddie wasn’t oggling like some teenager, he knew that I’m just tired and he knew it was bullshit.

Once you'd thrown the t-shirt over your head he beckoned you over, pleased when you stood between his thighs and letting his hands run up and down the backs of your own instead of ignoring him and going to bed. “I just” you sighed “Just Holly, really bugged me” you rolled your eyes at the fact that it affected you so much, it didn't normally. Normally when you heard someone flirting with Eddie you’d feel smug, knowing you had him first, but maybe it was seeing it hands on, literally, while you were right next to him. Blatant disrespect for your relationship. “Ah, well I don't think she knew we were married babe, either way you know I only have eyes for one girl” he squeezed teasingly at your ass as he grinned up at you “I know” you rolled your eyes at his cheesiness before a slight grin crept up on your features.

“Besides now you know how I feel” he ran his hands up your sides to hold onto your clothed hips “How you feel?” you asked confused, “Yeah, guys are always fuckin’ staring at you at bars and shit”

“No they're not” you laughed, “Oh believe me, they are, I know that look, I’ve done that look” he widened his eyes as he stared up at you, but you only chuckled in response “Sure babe” you pulled away from him and rounded the bed, walking over to your bedside table, slipping all your jewellery off but leaving your wedding band and engagement ring on.

“I’m serious, it's the same way Greg looks at you” he stood up, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the bench next to the bags. “Greg?” you turned around frowning as you unclipped your earrings. “Yes Greg, any excuse to stare at your ass in those pencil skirts and he takes it” he unbuckled his belt as you pulled the covers away from the bed, sitting up against the headboard.

“Oh please, he’s married and I'm really not his type, have you seen his wife?” you countered as he pulled his pants down. Greg's wife was short, skinny and blonde, basically the opposite of you. “Oh trust me, you're his type” he rolled his eyes as he placed his jeans next to his shirt, “Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there because you've clearly lost yours” you scoffed eyes following Eddie as he walked over and slipped under the covers and sat next to you.

As he removed his rings and watch he spoke “He stares at you like you're something to eat, and I bet he just loves spending late nights at the office with you” you scoffed once again, sliding down in the bed and laying on your side with you back to him. “You're ridiculous”

“Am I?”

“Yes”

“Is it really that ridiculous that I’m just a little bit worried that some sleeze is hovering around my wife, spending long nights working on a supposed project, not only that but the fact that I haven't even seen my wife the past six months?” you gasp in offence as you turn around to face him, sitting up with your legs to one side, bedcover gathering around your waist “Are you saying you think I’m cheating on you?” your glare is menacing, but not enough to break Eddie.

“Well are you? I mean we havent had sex in fucking forever”

“We had sex yesterday!”

“Yeah and that was the first time since christmas, its june. Maybe you’ve been so busy fucking him huh?”

“How fucking dare you? No I am not cheating on you you absolute asshole, I’ve been fucking depressed. But only King Eddie is allowed to feel down is that it? You're the only one who gets to say no yeah?”

“You've been depressed?” Eddies anger dissipated instantly as he watched your ragefilled eyes “Fucking obviously!” you threw your hands out. “I-I didn’t know..” he mumbled shamefully as he looked down towards his lap “Of course not, because you're too busy trying to get me naked to even notice” your hands rub angrily over your face.

“I- Of course I noticed, I just didn’t know it was that bad. Why didn't you tell me?” His heartful gaze was too much to bear as he looked up at you with sad eyes, you looked away to fiddle in your lap as you sheepishly admitted “I didn't want to bother you” tears were threatening to build up by your waterline so you furiously blinked them away. Eddie moved in front of you to sit on his knees, warm hands wrapped around your shoulders bringing you into his naked chest “Baby you could never bother me. I-I know you didn't grow up in a household where you could talk about your feelings but I’m not your mom, I’m your husband, you can tell me anything ok?” you felt him kiss your forehead as you were brought back down to the bed.

You were having trouble registering his next words, his previous statement building a sensation through you, shoulders tensing, and stomach knotting as warning bells sounded in your head that you were about to crumble.

“I’m here for you, always. But you just have to talk to me” with one arm around you he used his other to manoeuvre the cover to sit over the both of you before wrapping his arms tightly around you. “Ok” you whispered against him “Ok?” he breathed back “Ok”.

You pulled away from him to look up at his face, eyes swimming with infinite love for you, pink lips tugging into a smile. You kissed those same lips, smiling up at him once you broke apart, both the furious insistence that you not let his words get to you and the fact that his smile could light up a room made the worry slowly melt away. Eyes flitting down to his lips deciding to kiss him again, and again, and again until suddenly you were moving on the mattress to straddle his hips. Slowly hardening cock pressing against your thong as a hand came down to grab desperately at your ass.

Well that switched up quickly, he thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to continue the conversation. A subconscious decision he would find out later, might not have been the best idea. But his body worked faster than his brain, skin on fire with the feeling of you against him.

A groan left Eddie's throat as your tongue licked at his lips, begging for entrance while simultaneously beginning to grind against him. “Hmmph fuck” he breathed as his hand slid under your shirt, grabbing hungrily at your tit. You continued like that for a near minute before a wicked idea popped into your head, sure it was cruel but it was too fun of an opportunity to pass up.

You pulled away from him and sat up, a look of surprise spreading over Eddies face as his hand slipped from under your shirt “I don't wanna do this” you breathed, “What?” he whispered, you could hear the confusion in his voice “This” you gestured between your bodies “We don't have to if you don't want to, we can just you know, do it another time” his hands found yours in an attempt to reassure you. “No Eddie like… at all” it was so difficult not to burst out laughing as Eddie looked up at you extremely confused, slight hurt and disappointment peaking through his gaze.

“But-but we had sex” he was trying to wrap his head around the whole thing, not understanding how you switched up so fast, again, you initiated the kiss after all. “Just because we had sex doesn't mean we have to” one of his hands left yours to run through his hair in an attempt to cool his annoyance. “But if we both want to?” you shrugged “I guess, but I don't want to” the fact that you weren't climbing off him was just confusing him further “So were just.. back to no sex?”

“I dunno Eddie, it's just not the same” you sighed.

“Not the same?” he was deeply frowning now.

“It's not… fun… anymore” you had to avoid his gaze in order to stifle off your laughing. “It's not fun?” he inquired, voice raising in pitch to show his utter confusion. You couldn't help let out the snort bubbling from the back of your throat. You looked up at him and suddenly burst out in full laughter “Oh you fucking-” he breathed a sigh of relief as you laughed maniacally.

“You should have seen your face!” you wheezed as he wrapped his arms around you, bringing your body shaking with laughter back down to him “Not nice” he pouted. You looked up “I’m sorry” you mimicked his pout “You want me to make it up to you?” cupping his cheek as you spoke before sitting up and running your hands down his chest and stomach slowly. Eddie cleared his throat when he understood what you were insinuating “Ahem I mean only if you want to” you flashed him a cheeky grin as you slid down his thighs.

Bending down to peck at his lips you began trailing kisses down his torso, it was his turn to be embarrassed now so you opted for leaving a trail of hickies all the way down to the hem of his boxers, looking up at him with those eyes he always swore would be the death of him as you effectively palmed him over the fabric.

This was too god to be true, not only had he gotten to eat you out, and then fuck you after months and months of desperation, but you were now sliding further down his thighs, planting yourself on his calves about to give him a fucking blow job. Yep, it was too good to be true.

You hummed seductively as you pulled his boxers down under his balls to reveal his excruciatingly hard cock, precum beginning to collect and dribble from his concealed tip, pooling just under his navel. He let out a strained sigh as he felt your soft lips connect with his undercarriage, a soft kiss to the velvety skin which had him near panting.

In an agonisingly slow pace you kissed down his shaft, each kiss further spurring his heavy breathing on until a soft moan left his throat at the sensation of your tongue sliding up hot from the bottom of his shaft to the top. Your soft fingers wrapped lightly around his tip, one lazy stroke bringing his angry red tip to view beneath the skin, he couldn't help the borderline loud groan as he felt your tongue kitten lick at his slit, humming at the taste of his precum. “Mmm you missed this baby?” your voice was smooth and sultry like velvety smoke as you spoke, pulling back to adore the view of Eddie's half lidded eyes staring up at you in desperation and need as his hands gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles were threatening to turn white. “Y-yeah” he stuttered, trying his best at keeping his voice level and not letting it fall into a high pitched whine, inevitably revealing his pathetic need for you to touch him. A need which was unfamiliar to him, something so strong he hadn't felt it since he was a teenager and it was his first time doing this, it was intimidating.

“Yeah? You been thinking about this alot?” you stroking him lazily up and down was not helping him mask his desperation, each time revealing his tip before hiding it again, much too slowly for his liking. “Fuck, so much” he let his eyes flutter shut, soaking up each and every sensation of your hands on him instead. “Yeah been thinking about my lips wrapped around this big cock? Sucking as if my life depended on it?” at this point you were revelling in his poorly hidden desperation and spurring it on was only feeding your ego more. “Look at you, so desperate. Maybe I should hold off more, watch you work yourself up until you're just a whining mess beneath me more often? I’ve barely touched you baby” you hummed, tightening your grip only slightly.

“No!” Eddie almost shouted at your suggestion, eyes snapping open to look at your evil smirk. “P-please don't- don't do that” all you did was hum at his pleading. Bending down you softly wrap your lips around his tip, sucking with minimal effort yet it still has his hips bucking up into you, forcing nearly half his cock down your mouth, only stopping with the resistance of the back of your throat.

You hum in faux annoyance as you release him with a pop, “So desperate, you have no self control baby” to further accentuate your point you pin him with a harsh stare and a pout as he opens his eyes again “I’m sorry” the whisper is so quiet it nearly goes unrecognisable as spoken words to your ears, but you hear it and you grin wickedly as you soak up the scene before you. Your husband beneath you with your hand wrapped around him as another rubs softly up and down his thigh, bringing the sparse hair with you and then smoothing it over again. His slack jaw betrays the absolute bliss he's experiencing at the feeling of pushing at your throat only seconds before. Eyes glossed over and dripping with infinite adoration but also pure unfiltered hunger.

You hum again at his response, wrapping your lips around the tip and forcing his hips down with your free hand at the prospect of him bucking up into you again. A strangled whine leaves his throat as he writhes beneath you, his neck stretching taut to reveal thick muscles as his eyes roll to the back of his head. There's a thought to bring your hand up and squeeze at those same muscles but you dismiss it as his hips start to shake slightly, the task of forcing them down more pressing than choking him slightly.

You bob up and down on his tip a few times, what makes up only a near fifth of his cock threatening to be too much for your mouth to handle. A desperate whine leaves his lips as you pull off him with another pop, his eyes opening once again to understand why you released him, they fall closed again, crinkling at the corners as he screws his face up when he feels your hot tongue run over one of his balls.

“Fuck!” he's way too close to being loud enough that everybody else will hear him at this point. You bring him into your mouth, sucking gently while still lazily stroking him, he’s releasing a mix of whines and whimpers when your tongue traces patterns on the soft skin before moving to the other after a few seconds, giving his other side the same treatment.

You release him again to watch his screwed up face, his hand not soon before finding yours and grasping onto you in a bone breaking hold. “Look at you” you tut “So desperate, whimpering even” you chuckle lightly as he opens his eyes to glare at you “Hm” you hum in faux pity as you sit up slightly, hand on his hip working its was up to cup his cheek, sliding down and pulling at his bottom lip with your thumb, watching it slap back into place. “Don't worry baby, just tell me what you want”.

“N-need you..” he closed his eyes in embarrassment after voicing his request “Need me to do what pretty boy?” he whines at the pet name, writhing beneath you in desperation as he tried to will his mind to stop blocking him for telling you what he wanted. “S-suck” is all he manages to get out. You ponder the idea of pushing him further but he looks so desperate from where you're sat, you decide to indulge him, humming pitifully before bending back down and wrapping your lips around his tip, sucking him down to half his length and then back up again.

You repeat the process revelling in the desperate groans and now only occasional whines as you tongue at his cock. The hand not holding yours finds its rightful place at the root of your hair, tugging slightly as he guides you up and down. You increase your pace and hear his groans go louder as well as feel his thighs tensing tremendously. “Shh baby you gotta be quiet” you whisper as you come up for a deep breath. He works his fingers out of yours to bite down on his flexed knuckles. You hum in approval and go back to his cock, determined to take him deeper you force him down to the back of your throat, taking deep breaths through your nose each time you pull up.

With your now free hand you opt for massaging his balls lightly, close to laughter as his hips buck up, this time not restraining him.

For only a mere 15 seconds you get to continue before you feel his whole body shake beneath you, one particular thrust of his hips unveiling his angry red head, millions of nerves on fire as they brush over your tongue and throat causing his inevitable orgasm. That and the fact that his hand is pressing your head down as far as you'll go, forcing his cock right down your throat, while his sack tenses in your hand, is the only sign of him no longer teetering over the edge but about to fall right off it. It’s all the warning you get before hot spurts of cum shoot down your throat as he groans loudly against his hand.

It feels as though your lungs begin to close up as his neverending release continues. Finally however his shaking simmers under your touch and you pull off him quickly, panting to find your breath again. As you pull away his hand slips from your hair to thud against the mattress.

Once you've found a steady pace of breathing again you look down and chuckle breathily, Eddie's face is still screwed up and he's biting down hard on his knuckles, no doubt leaving marks. His abs are prominent as he still clenches his stomach, as well as all his other muscles. Your hands sliding smoothly over his torso has him fully relaxing beneath you, he's still panting heavily after his orgasm but each breath slowing by the second.

You grin as you climb off him and fall onto the mattress next to him, even after you've pulled his boxers back up and wriggled your way under the duvet he's still in the same position, finally softening his features and letting his hand fall to his side. With his eyes still closed you pick up his hand to inspect the deep red indents in his skin, beads of blood collecting in each.

Eventually he opens his eyes to find you grinning down at him “Holy shit” he breathes as he rolls over on his side, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest. “I have never seen you that desperate” you giggle as he grasps onto your hand against his chest “Shut up” he chuckles as he closes his eyes and snuggles his forehead against the top of your head. “I mean jesus dude”, he only hugs you tighter in response.

Suddenly he pulls away from you, looking down at you intensely “Wait, was this all a distraction?” you frown at his words “Do you actually not want to have sex anymore?” his face is painted with worry and desperation for an answer. “Jesus Eddie can’t I just suck your dick?” you laugh, his face relaxing into exaggerated and with a shrug he says “No you can” you giggle again and nuzzle your face into his chest.

Just as the night before it seemed that no matter how you fell asleep you always ended up on your side with Eddie curled up behind you. Eddie woke up suddenly, rushing out of bed to get to the bathroom as he passed his kids in the hall making their way to your room, not stopping to say good morning before ripping the door open and shuffling inside.

“Moooom” you awoke with a scream as you found Roxettes widely grinning face less than an inch away from your own, “Jesus christ” you sighed as Roxy laughed and made her way over to her sister rooting through the bags. “What’s this?” Ophelia asked curiously as she held up a blood red lace teddy, you jumped out of bed ripping it away from her hands and shoving it into a ball back into the bag it came from. She frowned “It's just underwear” you sighed as she continued frowning “It didn't look like underwear”, “Well it was”.

As Eddie came back to the room he was greeted by the full view of your ass as you bent over to look through the bag next to Roxette who was now viewing her two outfit options she had laid out on the bed and Ophelia nagging you to find her swimsuit. He cleared his throat, alerting you all to his presence “Oh hi, can you go check downstairs if Ophelia's bikini is there?” your voice was rushed as you quickly turned back to look through the bag. “Sure” was all he said before he was out the door without a second thought.

As you suggested Ophelia find her clothes for the day while Dad looked for her swimsuit, the Dad himself leisurely made his way across the hall and down the stairs. Gareth burst out laughing as well as Luke and Jeff who were all sat around the kitchen table. “What?” he asked as he made his way over to the couch, spotting the swimsuit immediately. “Real sexy man” Jeff commented as Eddie stood back up, suddenly realising he was in nothing but his boxers he instinctively covered his crotch with both hands. “Guess she got you back then” Luke gestured to his chest and down his stomach laughing as Eddie looked down to see the trail of hickies down his torso.

“Man fuck all of yall, least I’m getting some” he gave the group the finger as he promptly walked past the armchairs and up the stairs.

“Dad you have bruises too” Roxette slapped a hand to Eddie's stomach, causing him to groan as he threw the bikini at Ophelia, unintentionally throwing it at her face, she frowned as she picked the items off her head. “Mhm, yep” he pulled the shirt you had thrown at him in response to his attack on your daughter, over his head.

Breakfast had been eaten and Eddie said his goodbye as you gathered the girls and took them down with you to the beach. Pulling all his things out of his pockets he haphazardly tossed them onto the coffee table before joining Jeff, Luke, Gareth, Steve and Jonathan out on the dock where they were throwing the canoes into the water.

Within 10 minutes they were all in their boats and paddling away, Eddie and Jeff sharing one, Luke and Steve, and Garet and Jonathan sharing the others.

“This reminds me of when we were 14 going out on Lovers lake” Eddie commented as they slowed down a few hundred yards away from shore, “Got my first boob that time we all went together” Gareth supplied proudly, “I know you did, it was my wife, and may I add accidental” Eddie grumbled as the group laughed. “No regrets, perfect tits” the group exploded with laughter as Eddie threatened that he had no issue jumping out of his canoe and pulling Gareth out of his.

“Alright Emmerson, that all you think about? Chicks?” Luke laughed, “Yeah relax dude most of us got daughters” Steve added, “That's all you guys think about too, especially this guy” he pointed towards Eddie “Difference is, I can do something about it”

“That's not true! Alright it's true” Eddie laughed.

“You wanna know what I fantasise about?” Luke asked as he stared at the back of Steve's head, turning to Gareth and Jonathan he continued, “Candy-bars”

“Candy-bars?” Jeff laughed, “No, I had a bad blood sugar test at my last checkup and Simone cut me off” Luke threw his hands out in slight annoyance as he explained. “You're a grown ass man, how do you deal with that?” Jeff accused as Luke placed his paddle in the boat and leaned back with his hands behind his head “Oh, I got my own hidden stash, I’m not stupid” the group laughed as he continued “Seriously, I got it all. I got Reese’s, Butterfingers, 3 musketeers. I hide ‘em under my clothes in the bottom of the hamper” he demonstrated with his hands before rowing again “It's great because the smell in my sweat socks masks the chocolate smell”

“And the looks of your underwear match the chocolate stains” Jonathan laughed, earning the same reaction from the rest of them. “Hey, hey, hey, hang on, guys I gotta make a sissy” Steve held his hand out, seemingly not distinguishing between his kids and a group of men when it came to his wording. The group began protesting as Steve repeated himself in a shout “I gotta make a sissy!”

“Come on, you made three already!” Jeff groaned, “It must be just oozing out at this point” Steve gave Jonathan the finger as he stood up in the boat “Shut up I’m trying to concentrate”. “It’s taking a piss, not the SATs” Eddie rolled his eyes “Yeah you should know, you took 21 of them”

“Fuck off”

Steve screwed his face up in concentration as the group heard his intermittent stream, Eddie held his hand out in confusion “Are you peeing or is a diesel truck turning off? What the hell is that?”

“Listen to hamper bottom” Luke laughed “I think he’s sending a message in morse code” he held his finger up “Getting old. Stop. Can’t pee. Stop. Reeks like asparagus. Stop. Even though I didn't even have any. Stop.” he laughed as Eddie spoke “The good news is these girls are gonna have to say hi to it” he waved as a motorboat full of girls in bikinis drove by. “What’s up ladies?” he grinned.

“Hey girls!” Gareth waved enthusiastically, the group of girls shouted complaints at the men as Steve awkwardly waved at them, “They don't all look like that ladies” Jonathan grinned. Just as Luke was about to say something Steve turned, spraying a little bit over the front of his t-shirt before turning back to the water “Aah! Come on!” he whined.

After a near hour round trip they made it back, Luke swearing as he ran off to throw on a clean shirt, without warning Eddie ripped his own off, tossing it onto the wood as he slipped his shoes off and cannonballed right in between you, Ophelia and Roxette. Both girls squealed as you splashed him in the face when he resurfaced. “Asshole” you shrieked as you pounced on him, dunking his head under the water with force from behind.

Before you had a chance to react you felt Eddie's hands wrap around your thighs and before you knew it you were hoisted into the air on his shoulders. You didn't even get a chance to breathe before he flung you off to back-flop into the water. As you resurfaced both girls were already hounding their father for him to do the same for them, you giggled as you watched him throw your eldest off him. As he continued you gazed around the beach, the water filled with happy little kids splashing away as the group canoeing collected on the wooden chairs not far from the various towels scattered over the beach with various occupants.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Holly sat next to Ariana watching intently, you rolled your eyes and chose to ignore her, instead joining in with throwing the kids about.

The kids had set up a blanket fort in the attic and were all gathered munching on their sandwiches as the adults ate their lunch in the mixture of a dining and living room. “Oh Rob, can you pass me my wallet” Eddie raised his voice as he sat next to most of the younger ‘kids’ by the dining table, Robin looked up from her conversation with Charlotte and Winter on the couch and motioned towards the black leather on the table, “Yeah that one” Robin picked it up and flung it across the room towards him as something slipped out and floated to the floor in front of Gareth who was making his way to the fridge for a beer.

Eddie caught his wallet and frowned as he saw Gareth bend down and pick up a polaroid, “Is this you?!” he exclaimed in surprise, clutching the photo Gareth turned to you in one of the arm chairs “Huh?” you asked as you looked up. Before Gareth had the chance to show you Eddie was jumping over the table, knocking a glass of juice over in the process and ripping the polaroid away from Gareth's hands with a “Give me that!”

“Holy shit!” Gareth exclaimed as Eddie shoved the photo back into his wallet “What?” you placed your plate on the floor and stood up, walking over to Eddie who was now giving Gareth a death glare. You pulled the wallet from Eddie, opening it up to see the same family photo from when the kids were 4 and 7 in the plastic pocket. Examining it further you realised a collection of polaroids were shoved in one of the pockets for dollar bills.

You gasped as you pulled them out, looking up to Eddie's embarrassed and awkward face as he shoved his hands in his pockets. You felt Gareth leaning over your shoulder as you looked through them and quickly pulled away from him. “I thought you kept these at home” you whispered angrily as Gareth chuckled and continued his mission of getting a drink.

“Well I didn't” Eddie answered sheepishly as you continued looking through them. A whole collection of photos from one particular night where both girls had been away at a school sleepover, leaving the house empty for the both of you in late September of last year. It seemed the photos had been kept in the order they had beentaken in, a couple showing you in lacy black underwear with thigh garders connecting to your hips, one in the doorway and one stood between Eddies thighs, a few more of you giving Eddie a blow job, one of Eddie eating you out, one of your bare pussy, one of you on your back holding your legs up to your chest, pussy on show as well as every other intimate part of you, four of just your naked upper body, laid on the bed, staring up at the photographer with an assortment of fuck me eyes and wide, open mouth, eyes rolled back’s and one last one, crumpled up seemingly the one Gareth had seen.

You on your back, breasts free from their confines and spilling to the side, eyes closed and a happy smile on your face, and long thick ropes of cum painting your stomach and chest.

“Is this the one he saw?” you whisper, it seemed the rest of the group had gone back to their conversations after the interruption “Yeah..” you give a bratty and annoyed grunt as you shove the photos back into Eddie's wallet and thrust it into his chest angrily. He takes it and makes a show of stuffing it into his pocket before you turn away and sit back down in your arm chair.

He was so fucked, and it seemed not only he knew it but the rest of the table who were looking at him with awkward sympathy, as well as Gareth grinning wickedly, not only from the photo but your reaction to it. He wasn't sure what to do, you were making it quite obvious you didn't want to talk to him given the fact that your back was now turned to him, half twisted in your chair. He felt like he should talk to you about it, apologise, but instead his feet steered him back to the table, “Shit” he mumbled under his breath as he saw Dustin bent down cleaning up the juice with a rag “Here let me” he grabbed the towel and continued mopping up the spilled drink, wringing it out in the sink and hanging the towel up on the oven handle he caught an annoyed glare from you which made him fold in on himself as he sat back down.

He took his chance to talk to you as he heard you excuse yourself to the bathroom, cornering you just outside the door. “Babe, I am so sorry” he pleaded as you turned to face him, you looked behind him to see Mike walking down the hall and quickly grabbed his hand, pulling him into the bathroom and locking the door.

“Are you ok?” his voice was soft as he spoke to you, leaning up against the counter as you turned and made a beeline for the toilet. “I’m fine, I’m just..” you took a second to think over your words as you pulled your calf-long green flowery skirt up and in turn your underwear down, “embarrassed” you finished as you sat down. “I’m sorry, I wasn't thinking when I asked Robin to throw it” he spoke as you began peeing.

“It’s fine” you sighed as you wiped and stood up, bumping his hip with yours to get him to move away from the sink. He wrapped his arms around you as you washed your hands. “Is it actually fine or is this one of those times where you say it's fine but it's actually not?” his eyes found yours in the mirror, moving with you as you dried your hands and spun around in his grasp. “It's actually fine” you couldn't help the small tug of your lips as you looked up at his wide eyes.

A smile painted his features as he saw your face “They been in there the whole time?” you snort slightly when he nods, “What do you even do with them?” definitely a stupid question, but for some reason you wanted to hear him say it. “What do you think I do with them?” he laughed “I jerk off to them, obviously” he rolled his eyes playfully as you grinned.

“That what you do when you spend an hour in the shower without it even running?” your eyebrows tugged down as you tried stifling an ever wider smirk, “Yeah as if you hadn't already figured that out” you shrug as he fakes a look of exasperation “At least you're not making the water bill worse than it already is” he rolled his eyes again. “Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there” The sentence this time said under slightly nicer circumstances. Your grin breaks into a giggle as he begins tickling you.

After some shrieking at him to stop he finally does, and when you catch your breath you look up at him again “What else do you jerk off to?” he snorts a laugh at the sudden change in demeanour but looks down at you with some trace of seriousness “Mostly just that kind of stuff” he shrugs, he definitely had a lot more photos stashed at home, but he had to admit that little collection was by far his favourite “Really? For six months? Jesus Christ, aren't you bored of my body yet?”

“I’m beginning to think you're the one with no brain now, I’d never get tired of your body” he squeezes you ass playfully, beaming when you giggle again.

“I just remembered I brought my yoga tape, we could do a little yoga sesh tomorrow, what do you think?” is the first thing you hear as Charlotte makes her way up to you with a beaming smile, pearly whites on show as she holds her hand together above her stomach hopefully. “Sure, sounds fun” Charlotte jumps happily as you feel Eddie kiss your cheek before walking back to the dining table.

Eden and Argyle set up games for the kids outside as the rest of you are scattered about the property. You smile as you hear shrieking from the kids playing tag, happily chatting to a group on the wrap around porch as Vickie paints your now acrylic nails. She's gone through most of the people who wanted their nails done by now, including Eddie who got black and white spider webs painted on his natural nails, over the moon that she got so many people to practise on in preparation for her new job as a nail tech.

“Hot” Eddie grins as he leans over your shoulder to see your medium length, almond shaped, blood red extensions, you grin up at him and peck his lips when he bends down, your kiss cut short as he shuffles to the side to let Roxette through, sick of running around she lets out a loud sigh as she finds a seat in your lap. “Whatcha doooin?” she asks as she inspects Vickies work “Getting our nails done, you wanna?” she happily nods and tells Vickie “Can I have black? Like monster nails, this long!” she shows an exaggerated length by holding her hands apart a near foot, Vickie looks up at you concerned as you turn to your daughter, “Maybe not that long baby, how about something like this” you show on your own nails, now finished as Vickie switches the UV light off, demonstrating half the length of what you have.

She sighs but agrees and you ask Vickie if that's ok, to which she nods before going to work on a fresh set of nails.

“Dad look!” she squeals as she finds him laying in the grass next to Jonathan, Argyle and Dustin who's playing with Willow. “Wow!” he exclaims in mildly faux excitement, “Aren't they a little long?” concern paints his features as he holds onto her hands “Moms are longer” is all the argument she gives before running off to watch Ophelia get her nails painted bubblegum pink.

The clock neared 9 pm as everyone sat gathered in the empty boathouse to watch Dustin's homemade movie screen, Star Wars: A New Hope playing in the projector as it shows on the white bedsheet hanging on the wall. Most of Hellfire spent the afternoon dragging down couches and armchairs from the basement, setting out snacks and drinks as well as multiple blankets and pillows to set up movienight. Pizza had been ordered and now you were comfortably snuggled up to the arm of a couch as Roxetted curled up in your lap, watching intently. Ophelia sat with the Harringtons barely paying any attention as they whispered to each other excitedly.

Next to you sat Eddie who had Jeff and Tracy on his other side, all munching away on their slices of pizza, both Jeff and Eddie watching intently as you and Tracy giggled at their intense gazes despite them having seen the movie hundreds of times. From the other side of the room Robin waved a pack of cigarettes at you, a silent invitation for you to join her, you grinned and nodded before bowing your head down to whisper “Think you can sit with Dad for a little bit?” in Roxettes ear. She nodded and with her eyes never leaving the screen she shifted over, pizza slice hanging from her mouth while she plopped down in Eddie's lap.

The scene was absolutely comical, Eddie automatically moving his plate out of the way and settling her in his lap while both of them never wavered in their watching the movie. You left both of them to awkwardly climb over people on the floor, whispering sorry’s until you got to the door.

Robin handed you the packet of cigarettes and you lit one as you walked off the peer and onto the grass, sitting down next to her. “So Vickies becoming a nail tech” you kept your voice quiet, it seemed a shame to disturb it as silence fell over Muskegon, the only sound being the movie playing softly in the background. “Yeah, she's real excited, I’m proud of her” you smiled at the love Robin had for her girlfriend. “How’s it going with the ring?” when Robin had first announced that she was going to propose you, Nancy and Steve were all over the moon, squealing excitedly and talking nonstop about the wedding.

“Picking it up on sunday next week, called today” she grinned “Yeah that's why I asked doofus” suddenly the door opened and you both turned to see Nancy making her way across the wood panelling making grabby hands as she got closer.

The three of you sat chatting for a near 40 minutes until the door opened again, gaining the attention of all three of you, you stood up when you saw Eddie carrying Roxette, her arms flung over his shoulders as her head bobbed with each step. “Want me to take her?” you whispered once you got to them, you smoothed your hand over her curls which she had inherited from her father, “You sure?” he stood with his side to you, showing her peaceful face as she slept in his arms. “Yeah, go watch the movie” you whispered back. She stirred as he handed her over to you with a thanks, you waved a hand to the girls, telling them you'd be back in a few.

Walking back with Roxette in your arms proved to be heavier with each step but eventually you made it down to the basement and placed her on the mattress next to Ophelias, making sure to be as quiet as possible as to not wake the other kids who had been unfortunate enough to miss the movie due to their age. Slipping her shoes off as well as her jean shorts and tucking her into bed you gave a kiss to her forehead. When you were certain she was asleep you tiptoed back out the room and up the stairs.

Once the movie was over and most of the stuff from the boathouse was brought back inside you both tucked Ophelia to bed. “Ugh I forgot I have to shower” you groan once you step over the threshold to your bedroom walking straight to the bench across from you to pick up your toiletries and towel. “I gotta shower too but you go first I’ll just wait here” Eddie says as he sits down on the foot of the bed, “We can.. shower together if you want” you suggest as you make your way back to the door.

Nah this was just too much, only a few days ago he wasn't even touching you and now you wanted to shower with him? Was he high? Was this all a dream? Was he gonna wake up tomorrow to find himself back on day one of this trip, disappointed because you hadn't wanted to do anything despite the change of scenery?

“Hello?” you wave a hand in front of his face, “Huh what?” he shakes his head and looks up at you “I said we can shower together, if you want to?”

“Hell yes” he stands up so quickly you think he might fall over, but instead he just rushes to snatch his towel up and tap your ass to get you out the door. “How are you already hard??” you whisper as he eagerly tears his shorts down and steps out of them, hard cock slapping his stomach before standing out proudly, “I’m getting to shower with my wife” he says with wide eyes as he pulls his shirt over his head, leaving him in nothing but a silver chain, a deep red pick with your name written in acrylic resting below his collarbone “You do realise shower means shower right? It's not a codeword for sex” you explain as you pull your thin corroded coffin t-shirt over your head.

“Still, it's you, naked” he grins as you unclasp your bra, you roll your eyes playfully as he watches you like a child promised candy. “Well get in then” you gesture to the shower, pulling your bra off and letting it fall to the floor. He walks slowly, eyes never leaving your figure as you pull your skirt down. “Jesus Eddie, you've seen me naked like a million times” you laugh after he knocks his shins into the bathtub wall, he grins sheepishly as he steps over it.

He shakes his head as if to force out all of his dirty thoughts before turning the shower on, the fact that Eden had just stepped out of the shower minutes before played in his favour. He stepped under the stream of warm water after checking the temperature with his hand, running his hair back and away from his face he soaks up the feeling of the water pattering against his skin.

He turns instantly when he hears you step over the small wall and into the bath, not giving you a second to hang your toiletry bag up next to him before circling his arms around you, inevitably pressing his hard cock against the soft dough that is the middle of your stomach.

You reach behind him and fumble blindly until you manage to hook the bag onto one of the metal bars connecting to a shelf already full of wash products. When you pull your arm back you wrap it around his neck to join your hands behind him.

Eddie hums happily and squeezes you tighter, when the hug stretches to 20 seconds long you pull away from him, “As much as I do like hugging you I did actually come in here to shower” he rolls his eyes and groans as he lets you move around him to stand in the firing range of the water.

His hand stops you before you can wrap your fingers around the shampoo bottle, non-verbally telling you he would do it, you shrug and smile at him. You tip your head back slightly as he squirts a hefty amount of frosty gel into his hand, rubbing both together before smoothing them down the surface of your hair.

You let an open mouthed hum escape your lips as the tips of his fingers begin massaging your scalp, you feel his hands twitch for a second at the sound before no doubt pushing through and continuing his work in your hair.

You decide not to tease him by making the sound again, instead you stay quiet and enjoy the sweet and in some way, very much needed, moment between the two of you. It seems Eddie drags the time out of washing your hair because by the time his hands retract you’ve closed your eyes in a lull while a content daze creeps through you.

You whisper a thanks as you turn around, you close your eyes and bring your arms up to run your fingers through your hair and rinse under the water. Not noticing as Eddie's eyes trail down your body. Soaking up every beautiful sight that he’s rewarded with, from your relaxed face, down your thick arms, soft skin pulled with the weight of gravity, to the litter of fading hickies running down your neck to your collarbones, further to your now slightly perkier tits, weight following your raised arms. Down to your soft stomach and hips, he leans back to examine you further, wispy hairs curling over your mound, plush squishy thighs to your calves. He always argued with you when you called them chicken legs and watching you now even strengthened his point that you were wrong.

He snaps his eyes back to yours as you pull your head forward and open your eyes. This time you don’t reach for the next item in your routine, instead you turn around as Eddie pulls the conditioner from the plastic pocket.

Once he’s gone through the motions of running his hands through your hair, smoothing product into the strands you motion for him to switch places. He stands expectantly before you as you sigh, “Babe I hate to break it to you but you're like 6 foot 3, you either gotta bend down or sit on your knees” you chuckle as you can feel him roll his eyes at you. “Mm, you want me on my knees, kinky” he grins at you from over his shoulder, bright teeth on show as he grins wider at your mimic of his reaction, you roll your eyes.

The first thing he says as your fingers come into contact with his own scalp is “Ugh I’ve missed this” his feet slotted between yours after he folded himself down to his knees against the ceramic. “What having someone else wash your hair cuz’ you’re too lazy?” chuckling you work your fingers through his hair, making sure to get every square inch, partly to prolong the moment just like he had but also because you know damn well he is actually too lazy to wash his precious curls properly. You giggle as he nips at your thigh gently, “Shut up, I wash my hair” he grumbles, “You sure? Because there seems to be a lot of dandruff here” another nip to the thigh has you laughing again, the volume dampening quickly when you remember there are people on the other side of both walls.

“Shut up” he laughs, for a long time that sound hadn't had any particular effect on you, but in this particular moment, you feel the formerly black, now neutral, vines colour in a bright shades of golden orange hues. Happiness flowing through you from your chest as his genuine, honest laugh plays like music to your ears.

You let the gold take over you, all the way up to your mind as you rest content with Eddie's head in your hands for a few minutes. Both of you sulk at the all too soon retraction of your hands, after rinsing your hands you let them trail from his shoulders as he stands up, you smack his ass playfully before he turns to face you. Just as he opens his mouth to give a snarky remark you beat him to the punches, “How, how are you still hard? All I did was wash your hair!” you gesture your hands toward the near 8 inches which keeps the two of you apart, he shrugs happily as he washes the product out of his hair. “I’ll give you three guesses” he smirks down at you.

In retaliation you spin around and back up into him, forcing him against the shower wall and in turn you under the water “Hey, wha-”, “Need to get the conditioner out” you shrug as you let the mixture of cream and water run down his front. “Not fair” he fakes a pout as he wraps his arms around you “Can you at least move?” without his hands ever leaving you, the two of you shuffle around and switch places.

He’s trying so hard, he really is, but he can't stop himself from pressing up against you and slotting himself between the globes of your ass. Even though his dirty mind was being painstakingly presented to you he still wanted to respect your obvious hinting at no sex. But as he feels himself surrounded by your wet skin he can't help the moan that slips from the back of his throat.

You sigh and turn in his hold once your hair is clean “Do you want me to suck your dick? Is that what this is?” there's a hint of annoyance painted across your features as he looks down at you “What? No! I just, I dunno’, babe you're naked, its extremely difficult to practise self restraint right now” you stare up at him expectantly “We don't have to do anything just let me feel you” the shrug he gives up doesn't portray any sort of casualness as his face pleads with you.

“Fine” you grin and point a finger at him “But when you're actually on your knees, begging, I will be giving you an ‘I told you so’” he sticks his tongue out in retaliation with a “Try me” murmured through a smirk. “You really wanna go down that road?” you raise your eyebrows, feeling smug as Eddie makes a face of nonchalance “Alright, no sex and no touching and I’ll give you 20 bucks” you wait expectantly until Eddie pulls away from you, hand held out in offering “Heh deal” and you shake on it.

“Now you just stand there and look pretty so I can get on with my shower” you hide a sneaky smirk as you turn and pull the body wash from the bag, face neutral as you turn again with a handful of soapy liquid. Eddie's smug face falls way too fast as he watches you transition from lathering it onto your arms to smoothing your hands over the swell of your tits.

You grin evilly at him but it goes unbeknownst to him as his eyes are trained on the way your plump flesh moves rhythmically with your hands. “Giving me my 20 bucks yet?” you tease as you hold your tits up, bouncing them slightly against each other. Eddie shakes his head as if snapping himself out of his trance and manages to meet your gaze “Never” he whispers with narrowed eyes. You shrug and continue your way down your torso.

You know you have him when you turn around, spreading your legs wide and bending down to work your way up your calves. The muffled squeak you hear from behind as Eddie is met by your pussy on full display furthers your knowledge of winning this little impromptu contest, but when you hear a sharp intake of breath and the sound of feet pattering once, twice, away from you, you begin to falter, maybe he’s stronger than you anticipated.

You stand up annoyed and quickly spin around, met by Eddies guilty looking face and a hand ripping away from his dick you groan mildly “I said no touching, that includes yourself”, “I wasn't!” he quickly jumps to offence “You're a shit liar babe” you laugh, “Fine, you get your $20, now can I please touch you” he holds his hands together as he begs. “Hmm, well I am finished with my shower..” Eddie beams, “But I do need to brush my teeth” you pretend to wonder as his smile falters.

“If you can wash yourself at the same time.. Fine” his smile shines brighter than the one before it “But you only have so much time, the waters already getting cold and I wanna’ go to bed warm” before you can even say anything else you're being flipped around and bent over by two strong hands at your hips and back. You only just manage to brace yourself on the wall before you feel the head of his cock pressing at your hole, the whine that rings throughout the room resembles one of a bratty teenager as he slips inside all the way to the hilt.

As he arches his back in strain all you can feel is his hips against yours and his cock buried deep within your walls until he lets out a heavy breath above you and his forehead rests between your shoulder blades. “Did you.. Did you just cum?” you laugh breathlessly, “No” it's an annoyed grumble against your skin “Oh my god! You totally did!” you eyes widen as you twist your neck to find a wet mop of curls splayed across your skin “How?!” he shamefully admits that the scalp massage and press of your tits against the back of his head may have been a little too much for him, and that he may or may not have slipped up for a couple of minutes.

You slap a hand to your mouth as you roar with laughter, still echoing within the four walls as Eddie slips out of you and you turn around, “Shame, I was looking forward to a good showerfuck” you tut but break out into a sympathetic grin as you realise he’s properly ashamed of himself, with a hand cupping his cheek you reassure him “Baby it's ok” when his face contorts into a pained one you tell him “Seriously baby it's ok, happens to the best of us” he rolls his eyes at you.

You press a kiss to his lips and then to his forehead before you tell him to switch places with you so you can do the bodywash. His shame melts away as your hands slide over his inked skin, smooth fingers running over the anatomical angel, wings spreading far over his shoulder blades, its feet resting over a series of tattooed vertebra that runs down his own spine.

After what must have been half an hour shower the both of you tiptoe across the floorboards in your towels, quickly changing into fresh underwear and wrap yourselves up with each other after you've dropped a t-shirt on to the floor next to your side of the bed for tomorrow morning. Just as any other night you’re back in his heavy arms, that alone would be enough to make the daze of sleep take over you but it seems it's not enough. You feel as Eddie drifts off into dreamland behind you, his breathing evens out into soft puffs of air and his arms loosen their tight grip around you.

20 minutes after initially getting into bed you snap your eyes open, stifling a groan of annoyance as you pinch your eyes shut in frustration. The air in the room was humid and stifling, Eddie's arms suddenly felt like they were suffocating you despite them only resting gently around your waist, the comforter only adds to the pressure and within seconds you start to feel like you're being smothered. Technically you could try harder at falling asleep, you could push Eddie off you, kick the blankets away and crack a window but once your eyes focus on your leather handbag leaned up against the wall it's over for you. You slowly slip out of bed, extremely cautious of your husband's sleeping form surrounding you. You throw the shirt over your head and begin your search for the pack of cigarettes hidden at the bottom.

The soft whine that leaves Eddies throat has your movements halting, bent over in a strain you slowly turn your head to find Eddie rolling onto his back, when it seems he's fallen back asleep you resume your desperate search, a relieved sigh whispers throughout the room as you finally find what you're looking for. When you open it you find that the usual AC/DC lighter shoved between the rolled up papers is gone, you roll your eyes. Before you get the chance to root through your bag further you catch a glimpse of Eddie's zippo in the jumbled mess that was the contents of his pockets poured onto his bedside table.

Making an effort to be as quiet as possible you make your way around the bed, just as you level with his knees you stop dead in your tracks, another whine echoes in the room, this time frustrated as Eddie turns back on his side and blindly starts patting his hand around your vacant spot. In his sleep filled haze he seems to register your absence because his eyes snap open as his head forces back to examine the empty mattress. The sound of a floorboard creek makes him whip around to face you, he frowns. You can't help but smile as you examine his face, he’s cast in darkness but you can still make out the shape of his furrowed brows above half lidded eyes, predominantly black irises peeking through under his long lashes, his soft laugh lines, etching deeper with each year that passes, a tug of his full pink lips, pursing them as the corners pull down slightly. Your smile turns embarrassed as he sits up “What are you doing?” his voice is laced with sleep, a deep throaty husk as he presses a knuckle to his eyes.

“Was just going for a smoke, go back to sleep” you whisper, arriving at your destination and pulling his lighter from a tangle of childish hair bobbles, loose change and a deteriorating pack of gum. “Mm mm” he shakes his head “I’ll come with you” before you get a chance to protest he's already pushing the comforter off of him and setting his feet to the floor with a groan.

Without another word uttered into the silence of the night his hand finds yours and leads you out the door, quietly down the other end of the hall across from you and out onto the balcony. It seems the night air has a positive effect on the both of you, you immediately feel your hot skin cool down as the cold rushes to Eddie's own skin, waking him up. He adjusts his eyes and finds one lonely chair on the old wood, he pats his thigh once he's sat down, gesturing you over.

You hold the small flame up to Eddie's awaiting cigarette perched between his lips, watching as the rusty colour of orange and red lights up within the tobacco. Eddie's arm wraps around you once again after you tossed both the carton and zippo onto the floor. The cool night breeze brushes against your legs while the scent of smoke, chia shampoo and conditioner, tangerine body wash, a fading old spice and redwood and a musk you could only describe as uniquely Eddie fills your senses.

You allow yourself to soak up the moment, relaxed in Eddie's lap, a strong arm enveloping your waist, deep blues painting the sky, purely and simply at ease. “I think we should talk” his words break the comfortable silence, your neck stretches to look up at him, head resting on his shoulder “About what?” the softness of his voice eases any worry that most definitely could have bubbled up in your stomach if his tone had been any different when speaking those five words.

“Sweetheart, I know you have a hard time telling me how you feel about things, but I think it's important you try. I had no idea what you were going through, I still don't. But I feel like it's something I should be made aware of, you know? We need to be able to tell each other things so that we’re on the same wavelength.” you turn your eyes up to the sky as you sigh at his words.

This was going to be difficult. Throughout your whole childhood you had been told time and time again that showing any trace of feelings was a definite sign of weakness. Even the fact of registering your feelings as not only feelings but allowed, permitted, was something you were partly deeply uncomfortable with and something that was scarcely new to you. Untread territory. A deep breath reaches Eddie's ears as you prepare for the unpreventable fate.

“She died” you barely manage a whisper as you confess to the incident which happened months ago. The words tasted sour on your tongue, bitter, you hadn't spoken those words to anyone, saying them now made you shudder. “What?” he's having trouble wrapping his head around what you've just said, “My mom.. she died, uh december 18th” both cigarettes left forgotten you find yourself tearing up. The stupid emotions showing your vulnerability only fuels anger, a bead of salty fluid drops down your cheek, you wipe it away in frustration. Why were you even crying? Crying about a mean old drug addict who had abused you all your life, verbally, physically, emotionally. Why were you shedding tears for the woman who kicked you out at 16 after losing your job at the gas station, the job that paid for the trailer you never bared to call a home, the job that paid the bills, the food, the dangerous toxins which she put into her body.

The woman your own kids believed to have passed away in your early childhood, the woman who you insisted on shielding them from. The same woman who broke down every single part of you until she left you to fend for yourself, to build yourself back up, bit by bit, piece by piece, day by day.

“She.. she died?” his hot breath fans across your cheek as he nuzzles his face to the side of yours “Why didn't you tell me?” his words are muffled as his lips ghost over your skin. For once in your life you feel yourself let go, if only a miniscule fraction of what normalcy is, you let yourself experience your feelings, with one single hiccup. “I don't know” the sadness in your voice makes his heart break, but still you refuse to let it tremble. “I just, I didn't know how to feel, what to think, I needed time to figure it out” your eyes flutter shut as you manoeuvre your face into the crook of his neck, stubbing your cigarette out on the wall behind him and dropping it to the floor.

Eddie copies your movements and rests his cheek to the side of your head, he stays silent as he waits for you to continue, “I knew logistically people are sad when their parent dies, but it just made my head spin, I didn't feel sad, I couldn't, not for her.” your voice vibrates against his throat as you speak.

Eddie knew the two largest reasons as to why you couldn't feel sad, she didn't deserve it, and you simply weren't able to access those emotions. You found some comfort in his awareness, had you been forced to explain everything in intimate detail you would only feel worse. “And the kids didn't know so I couldn't just go around moping so I guess I just… distracted myself?” he knew the reason as to why for that too, endless thoughts swirled around his head as he managed to come to the conclusion that you had been lost, you probably still were. So confused as to how or why you were feeling the way you did, refusing to address the issue head on and finding any way to cope.

Your hours spent in silence -at home, at work, at any activity you could find and drag out the time with, at events, hanging with all your friends, dinners at Wayne’s- had closed you off, in the moment it may have worked but a nagging thought at the back of his mind told him it didn't. Not for you, not for him, not for the girls. So many thoughts threatened to make his head explode, and in the mix of it was roaring guilt. Guilt from not taking a second to ask how you were, guilt for not realising there was something deeper nestled below the surface, guilt for not only the idea he constantly convinced himself was untrue but actually accusing you of cheating, guilt for selfishly missing you in all ways possible and guilt for only focusing on that.

“I’m so sorry” unlike yours his voice shook as he spoke, arms wrapping tighter around you in agony. “Why? You don't have to be sorry” he couldn't see the confused frown spread over your face, but it was there. You simply couldn't wrap your head around why a whole other human being was feeling sorry or even affected by your problems. “I-I didn't do anything, or-or say anything, you were clearly struggling and I never knew, I wasn’t there for you” his own water lines began to flood, just as you had he distracted himself, by running a hand up and down your arm. “I didn't do or say anything” you admit, “I should have told you, I just, I was worried, that you would have.. expectations from me, how I would feel, act. Not only that but I think there was just this gnawing thought that you would think there was something wrong, with me, if I didn't do the normal thing and grieve” his hand was now soothing up and down over your hair.

“Baby, look at me” his hands pulled lightly at your shoulders, gesturing you to turn and straddle him, face to face. “She has never earned the right to your grief” his thumb swiped under your eye as you let out a sob and a hot searing tear rolled down, “She never did a single thing to earn even a glance from you” as your eyes closed tight he continued, “What you did was normal. It was normal for you, there's nothing wrong with not knowing how to go through some things in life, and there's nothing abnormal with trying to process it in your own way” your shoulders threatened to collapse against him but he held on softly to one as he cupped your cheek. “You just need to remember that I'm always here for you, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you, or expect anything from you.”

For the very first time, you actually sat down and accepted your feelings, you accepted them, talked about them and learned to understand them, all thanks to the one person you had shut yourself away from the most. For over an hour you talked, both showing and explaining the raw emotions you found within yourself. By the second hour you walked through the details of what had gone down and at the end you felt a weight lift from your chest as well as some understanding for yourself. A promise was made, to not only communicate with him but also to learn how to access and express what was going on in your head, in therapy. Something that initially seemed so frightening but was slowly dampened with another promise, that Eddie would come with you if you needed him.

Your mother, or rather the woman who had birthed you but failed to raise you, had been forcefully put in rehab years ago. An expensive resort, you found yourself still keeping her afloat with your hard earned money as you sent in monthly payments. An old ‘friend’ had shown up and before the personnel had a chance to alert you to it, she had escaped. Run off with her friend to, what was probably her opinion, be free. Once some hours had passed they had tried calling you, too busy slaving away for your promotion at work you had missed every single one. When they finally got hold of you, the soft pitiful voice on the other end of the line explained to you how she had been found, collapsed only a yard from the abandoned house occupied by the homeless, with no pulse.

It was bound to happen, but just because it was destiny that you would come from a broken home didn't mean you yourself had to be broken. An absent father who had bolted the second the pregnancy had been announced to him, and a mother who for 16 years had constantly reminded you of how unwelcome you were in her life. Even up till your thirties where she would filter in and out of your life unwanted. You had kept the secret from your friends and boyfriend for three months, living under the bridge by the docks with only the clothes on your back and a few newspapers you found. You had lied to your friends and explained that your mother had donated all your clothes as punishment for coming home after curfew, a curfew you didn't have and probably wouldn't have been cared about if you did. For 2 months and 3 weeks you lived off a duffle bag of Eddies band shirts and sweatpants. It was bearable, the life you had at the time, even with the thunder storms and hammering rain, but by peak december when the cold was at its worst you realised that wearing multiple layers wouldn't cut it and shamefully knocked on Eddie's door, asking for a place to stay.

Wayne had become the father and mother you never had, and you would spend your entire lifetime trying to pay him back, but nothing could ever come close to the love he showered you with, the money he spent, the food, clothes, shelter he gave you.

The time showed 1:26 am when you finally made it back to your room, the cold biting at your skin forgotten until the warm duvet swallowed you whole, a reminder of how extremely cold you were. Wrapped in Eddie's arms, cheek pressed to his chest, you soon fell asleep, no longer sad or gloomy, but tired and happy, every vine in your body glittering with fierce gold. “I love you” the soft whisper from below him made him realise that the words accompanied by your voice were strange to his ears. He hadn't realised it at the time but you had stopped saying those words to him in what must have been mid spring. Tears pricked at his eyes again as he beamed “I love you too”

(A/N was thinking of leaving it here but I know we’re all horny fucks here so OBVIOUSLY I have to continue)

You awoke with a light, happy heart, and just like every other fucking morning, as the little spoon again. Instead of calling them in you pulled yourself out of bed and answered the knock at the door, wrapping your girls up in a warm hug before they had a chance to whiz past you to their clothes. It might have been that you were content with the duration of the hug but it was more probably the fact that both girls were wining and squirming trying to get away from you when they felt they'd been pressed together for too long that you broke apart. You chuckled as you let them go and climbed back into bed, Eddie was still fast asleep, it seemed the giggling voices of two happy little girls weren't enough to wake him from his slumber.

Although he seemed not to be fully passed out when you shimmied back down the covers once the girls had left, because he hummed happily, and automatically wrapped around you in a warm embrace. After a while he fell back asleep, arms clutching you close to his chest in contentment, his nose buried in the scent of your hair. You began to grin when you felt something familiar poking at your behind, Eddie's morning wood was appearing just as the sun began to rise. Jitters built throughout your body at the sensation, you were no doubt used to waking up just like this, even during your rough patch, but for maybe the first time since the early stages of your relationship, it wasn't just funny and exciting but thrilling. The feeling of Eddie's slowly hardening cock pressing up against you sent tingles up your legs, awakening butterflies that situated in the bottom of your stomach.

He must have been wavering between being half asleep and fully judging by the fact that he groaned loudly as you wiggled your hips to situate him between your ass cheeks. The groan spurred you on and you forced your hips against his, earning a tighter hug to hold you infinitely closer to him. Your grin widened when he let out a second groan as you forced yourself back again, one final time had his eyes fluttering open and his hand snaking up under your shirt to squeeze softly at your boob. “Morning” your voice was soft to his ears since it came out in a whisper.

For the first morning in a while the deep raspy “Morning beautiful” had your thighs clenching. Maybe you should talk about your feelings if it made you feel this connected to Eddie and especially this desperate for him. “Love the sound of your voice in the mornings” you chose to push the feeling of spewing random and intimate -to you- thoughts, right down. Forcing them out of sight and allowing you to properly express yourself, even though it may have been an admittedly mild statement. The action, telling him exactly what you were thinking. “Mm you do?” he hummed behind you to which you nodded, hair brushing up and down against his nose. The grin you were fighting off made you once again feel like a teenager, talking to your crush… Holy shit were you flustered?

“Maybe I should talk like this more often” he was slowly waking up now, slight hints of clarity lacing his voice as he stirred behind you, “You really should” your cheeks were heating up now, Jesus Christ you hadn't felt like this since you were an actual teenager, talking to the same man, at that time a boy. “Mm it doing it for you?” he hummed, despite the obvious comic tone in his words the sound sent fiery lightning straight through your body as you let out a stifled girly giggle “It really is”.

You felt yourself swoon as his hips pressed against yours, a pleased hum followed from his lips as you took a deep breath to centre yourself. “Fuck, you don’t know how good this feels” had the ruckus downstairs from all the kids and newly awoken parents been closer the words would have fallen on deaf ears for it was all but a whisper, a mumble from soft plush lips grazing your scalp. All you could do in response was hum, the feeling of Eddie's thick fingers massaging the soft skin of your breast, catching your nipple between them and near searingly hot skin pressed flat against your back along with his throbbing cock grinding against you left you speechless.

The tingles fluttering throughout your body were only growing more violent when Eddie let out a long groan of relief, the pent up frustration echoing through the room as strong arms held you even closer to him. Eventually, it got too much to bare, as soft whimpers began to escape your lips, matching up perfectly to the near obnoxious groans the man behind you was making, you slid your hand from under your cheek to slightly aggressively grab onto the hand massaging your boob, leading it down your front till his fingertips nudged the hem of your brazilians.

Immediately he got the hint and carefully slunk his fingers under the offensive undergarment and soon enough callused fingers were running lazily up from your hole to your clit, collecting you slick and rubbing slow circles into the nub he since long ago had no trouble finding. A needy moan broke from your throat and you were quick to cover your mouth by turning your head and smooshing your bare face into the worn fabric of the pillow beneath you. Your now free hand slunk up behind you to grasp on firmly at the roots of Eddie's curls. His own display of arousal rang through the room before he followed your lead and buried his face further into your hair.

“Shit, fuck, babe, need- need to be” his voice broke off before he had a chance to fully voice his request, your hand was already pulling at the hem of his boxers, prompting him to wriggle awkwardly while his hand was still attached to you. Within seconds your back was arched, your thigh was lifted into the air and your panties moved to the side as a small hand wrapped around his base, leading him to the opening of where you needed him most. The both of you synchronised in desperate whimpers as he sheathed inside you and bottomed out, once he was fully seated you took a deep breath to steady yourself before laying your leg back down.

The added pressure of your thighs squeezing together causing for a delightful sensation as your pussy pulsed around him. Not before long he was rocking into you, matching the slow rhythm of his fingers.

This, this was utter and complete bliss. A lazy morning with your lover, early morning sun filtering through the thin flower curtains, the rambunctious sound of happy children only to be heard as white noise, heavy strained breaths pleasing your ears, warm skin on warm skin, wrapped up in soft colourful sheets with Eddie slowly thrusting in to you. Yeah this was the best fucking feeling.

Soon enough the faint thuds against the very depths of your pussy became repetitive, each pause of Eddie pulling back and thrusting back in shorter when his hips sped up. With each passing second you realised that the thickness of the plush pillow wasn't enough to muffle your moans, the lone hand resting under your cheek came up to plaster over your mouth, forcing it hard against the chubbiness of your cheeks. Once again Eddie was on the same page as you, with his mind and body quickly awakening, the arm squished between the mattress and your body ripped quickly out from under you, a clenched fist coming up to his lips as he bit down hard onto the skin.

Each thrust was growing faster and faster, deeper and deeper, harder and harder, and in turn the slow circles on your clit, matching the pace of his hips with the added pressure increasing. “Fuck babe, roll over” with the help of his body forcing you in the right direction you rolled onto your stomach, a frustrated whine leaving your lips at the loss of Eddies fingers harshly pressing into your clit before you had the chance to cover your mouth again.

Your whine was left discarded as Eddie manoeuvred himself on top of you, his thighs straddling the backs of yours, his left hand slipping under your armpit and lacing his fingers with your own right hand. Before you knew it, plush lips were kissing repeatedly up and down your right shoulder and up the side of your neck. Just as he began thrusting again his free hand planted a deathgrip on your hip, callused tips of his fingers pressing harshly into your skin, no doubt leaving a bruise.

Your left hand found its place splayed across your mouth once again just as the thrusts became hard and evenly spaced. “Fuck feel so good baby, fuckin’ -shit” his breath fanned against your ear, a mewl from the back of your throat only spurring him on. “Fuckin’ love these curves, you’re so sexy” you had long since passed the point where you’d flush with embarrassment at the compliments showered upon you about your body, instead his words had the intended effect, muffled moans became much less muffled, the volume breaking through the barrier of your hand. “Fuck princess you gotta be quiet, think you can do that for me?” you most definitely couldn't, but you sure as hell would try. The deep husky voice whispering against you skin as he kissed it, knuckles gripping tightly onto your own, hand holding firmly onto the meat of your hip and his dick thundering in and out of you overtook all senses, all you wanted to do right now was worship this man who made you feel so Mother. Fucking. Good. So yes, you sure as fucking hell would try.

“Good girl” you could feel the smug smirk against the slope of your neck at your eager nod, could hear it in his voice, knew he was just filling up with pride at the feeling of your whole body tensing with the force of not letting out the excruciatingly loud moan you were so desperate to set free. “So good for me, takin’ me -fuck- so well, oh fuck holy shit” despite how badly he wanted to shower you in endless praise he couldn’t help the endless string of swares as he felt your pussy clamp down around him at his words.

“Fuck fuck fuck, oh shit, oh my fucking god” his neck went slack as his forehead landed on your shoulder with a thud, hips working faster than ever at the feeling of your pulsing around him, intensified with the hard incessant squeeze. You couldn't pass it up, you just couldn't, you knew exactly what to do to get him riled up, despite his whole body working in overdrive you wanted, no, needed to know what would happen if he was pushed just a little further towards his limits. Throughout heavy pants once your hand was lifted only slightly from your lips you managed to get out the words “Seems hmmghf seems you’re enjoying this more than me right now” a smirk slowly spread across your lips.

“You sure about that sweetheart?” his voice was strained as he spoke and it only made the tingling between your thighs strengthen. “Yeah” you breathed, “I don't know about you, but with time things get… old”

“Old huh?”

“Boring” with every ounce of power you had in your body you managed to even your voice in a smooth breath, unnamused and bored. “You can't please me anymore. It's the same old dance every time. It gets boring”

“Oh I can't please you anymore?”

“Not in the slightest. Judging by this maybe I should go find another man, someone who knows what he’s doing. Someone new, exciting, better.” before your grin had a chance to widen at his “Oh you fucking-” a strong hand gripped tightly onto your roots and you were yanked up to a sitting position.

He pulled the flimsy t-shirt your thrown on earlier over your head before the hand holding yours found your hip in no time, leaving identical bruising on your other hip while the tension in your scalp quickly soothed as his other hand no longer gentle forced itself under your panties, diving straight for your clit to circle it fast and harsh. “Oh yeah? That's how we're gonna do this?” with the upper hand, amusement sounded in his voice between the heavy pants he was releasing. But the fact that both your legs were pressed together betweens his was not working in his favour. He wanted so badly to just let loose and scream at the feeling of your thighs tightening you around him but he was trying his hardest never to let the pants transition into deep groans or even loud moans. As he waited for your answer his hand smoothed up your side to plant a firm grasp on your left boob, “Y-yeah” how it was even possible you were even more worked up than he was, your pants faster and louder, threatening to echo deafeningly throughout the room and reach unexpecting and innocent ears.

Just knowing there were people around who could hear you if you dared raise your voice, who could catch you made it all the more exhilarating.

Your head lolled onto his shoulder with your eyes closed and mouth open in a mute scream as your body moved up and down with each push of his hips, in sync with the low squeaks of the old bed frame. “Yeah you wanna be in charge? Go ahead sweetheart” the smug and evil laugh vibrated through his chest at the sound of your pathetic whine in protest “You sure?” the mocking tone only made you squeeze harder around him. The squeaking increased as Eddie breathed, “Fuck” had it not been for the fact that you were almost completely silent you wouldn’t have heard it, but you did and it flipped a switch inside you. Even though you were clearly the whining mess at the hands of your husband, you did in fact have the upper hand despite his insistence that you didn't.

It had most definitely been a while, but you decided you most definitely wanted to push him to his limits, you wanted to see him angry. With some extreme power you didn't know you withheld you managed to clear your head from all the sensations and purely focus on speaking, knowing you would be rewarded by it soon enough. “You act so tough” the near clear tone of your words caught him off guard, “You give off this idea that you're all big and strong. But you're all bark. No bite” you slowly opened your eyes to watch him out of the corner of them, “What did you just say to me?” fury began to swim in his eyes as his jaw twitched with the tightness of the grit of his teeth.

“You heard me.” a loud exhale managed to escape your lips but you forced yourself to reel back in your head and stay focused on your mission, “Everybody thinks you're this mean, inked up, scary metalhead who could crush anyone into a pulp within the matter of seconds, but on the contrary you're just a mushy wuss who plays dress up, watches cartoons and likes baking every sunday with his wife” ok maybe the jab at him playing princesses with the kids might have been a little harsh, but it was no doubt working.

For a moment, it left him speechless. His hips were still working furiously but his grip on your chest slackened. Even before the dry spell it was on rare occasions where you were this mean, this assertive. It threw him right off course.

He managed to regain his mental footing however, “Who the fuck do you think you are right now?” the grin spreading on your delicate features only fueled his anger, “I’m the woman whose body you've worshipped and will continue to worship until the day you die. I’m the woman, the only woman who can get you on your knees, begging, whining for you to touch me” hmm, might have been the wrong direction, judging by the fact that he too was now grinning. The squeaking only increasing with each passing second.

Dammit, you had to rethink your tactics. His hand found your hip again as he watched your tits bounce with amusement. Before you had the chance to even mull over how to play this next his words cut you off, “I know you like to think you're the one who calls the shots sweethea-” “Shut up” he frowns at you as he instantly shuts his mouth in sheer shock. “I am the one who calls the shots, just the other day you were whining and whimpering like a pathetic little baby and I hadn't even touched you” now that seemed to be working. His confused frown shifted into one of anger again, “And I don't think I even need to remind you how you got all hard and needy from just the prospect of getting to see me naked, let alone shower with me”

It was definitely working when an angry twitch of his lips graced your presence, each word blowing oxygen into the bottom of the slow burning fire rumbling in his stomach. “I don't think I need to remind you this either, but I will” you sat up now, his cock still working its way in and out of you, still proving how desperate he was, twisting your neck to face him you forced a sneer “-you came within two seconds of slipping inside me” hot fury glared at you from once almond brown soft eyes, now black with a stare unwavering. “Pathetic” you landed the final punch with a scoff.

“Get off me” the hands once gripping you with need and desperation now held onto you with pure rage, manhandling you to slip off him and almost collapsing onto the ground. Shit, did you take it too far? Did you read the signs wrong? Was he actually not into it? Worry glossed your eyes over as you watched him stand up. “I’m sor-” you tried to apologise as you found your balance “Shut. The. Fuck. Up” without warning he was in front of you, pushing you at your shoulders to bounce onto the bed. With harsh movements he brought you to the edge of the bed, forcing your thighs up.

He looked you dead in the eye as he said the words “Not so tough now are we?” and then he broke into a wide smug smirk, soaking up every inch of your shocked face. “Wha..?” you breathed, a breath that quickly turned into an even more shocked, gasp. Without any caution or warning whatsoever he ripped the soft, expensive polyester lace that lay delicately over your stomach. Within a second he ripped the other side, his fingers finding the discarded -now backpiece- easily, pulling it out from under you and tossing it towards his nightstand.

“Those were expensive!” you chastised him but all he did was smirk even wider. Despite his previous manhandling and legit throwing you around the touch of the tip of his cock running through your folds was soft, gentle. The sensation made you shiver as you felt it brush over your clit before returning back down again and repeating the process as he spoke. “That's the thing sweetheart, you act like a brat and you get treated like one” his words were laced with malice before the loud moan you let out had Eddies eyes shifting to the door, just out of view of his peripheral before zoning back in on you. Watching smugly at the once again evident shock on your face after he had just pushed himself into the hilt. The head of his cock brushing dangerously at your cervix from the force he was putting at his hips to get as deep as possible.

The tut he let out at your reaction only made anger bubble up within yourself too, “Tsk tsk, thought you could be quiet” this time your sneer was 100% real, “Not when you just force yourself inside me with no fucking warning” your backtalk only made him more angry. He retaliated with another hard snap of his hips against you, this time you were ready, biting so hard into your bottom lip you were sure you would soon enough be drawing blood but it didn't matter, he wasn't going to win, maybe before but not now.

His knees were beginning to ache from the awkward bend he was in to reach you on the bed, being tall seemed it didn't always come with its perks but- “Wanna see your face when you cum for me. See you fall apart for the only man who can make you beg and whine, like a pathetic. Little. Baby.” He threw your words right back in your face just before he began a furious pace of his hips, same if not more furious than when had last been inside you a minute ago. You thanked whoever made that stupid old bed for it at least not squeaking when moved the other way.

His cock stretching you out at the new angle, the head of his cock hitting that stupid ‘danger zone’ was now sending you careening towards a fast and undoubtedly strong orgasm. Damn him. Not only that but you found as you bit down harder you did in fact manage to draw blood. “Yeah that's it” his smirk was still shining brightly on his soft and once kind features. The right hand that had been situated on your hip moved up to grab onto your tit once again while he watched the other one bouncing up and down. If the sound of the rest of the house had registered to him before it definitely wasn't now. Now all he could focus on was the way every part of your body bounced with each thrust, had it been under any other circumstance he most definitely would have praised you endlessly on how he loved the bounce of your tits, your soft stomach, your thighs, but right now it didn't even cross his mind to voice his opinions on it. The fiery anger grew more threatening at your next words “Piece of shit” you gritted out, the metallic taste of your blood sour in your mouth “Fucking pervert, bet you just love watching me like this, at your mercy or whatever” you scoffed, “Is it giving you your ego boost?”

The hard slap landed at your cheek had you gasping but not regretting your words, no, far from it. This was exactly what you wanted, you had a feeling treating and being treated rough was something very much needed for the both of you. All sorts of built up feelings being released in a strange form of love rather than distance or petty arguments. This was much better, not only in the absolutely earth shattering way his cock was pistoning into you and every other sensation of this moment but the fact that it could be channelled into complete euphoria for the both of you and not hurt feelings.

Strong fingers wrapped around your throat as he responded “Such a fucking slut, let anyone else do this to you? ‘Cause you seem to be taking this very easy” you rolled your eyes at him “Obviously not. Jesus christ I really regret marrying someone so fucking dense” pressure was added to your throat as another hand left your hip, fingers splayed over the soft pudge of your stomach as his thumb connected to your clit.

If there had been any slight worry that he might actually be angry it would have dissipated the second his skin came in contact with your own slick one. “Hah! No you don't. You and I both know no one could treat you this good” he began to sense the loss of air you were experiencing and drew his hand up to your face, fingers resting at the back of your throat while his thumb sat just in front of your ear. “Drop anything to be at your aid, treat you like a goddamn goddess. No one could ever love you like I do.”

And there it was, love. His anger was beginning to melt, he’d gotten everything out and now all he could look at you with was adoration. “No one could ever love me like you do” you confirmed, a soft smile only hinting at your lips as you stared up at him. In less than a second his hand below your navel disappeared and was found slinking under your back, lowering himself down to capture your lips in a deep passionate kiss. One hand circled under his arm to grasp onto his shoulder blade as the other ran through his hair. Multiple long kisses venturing between soft and hard were shared as well as breathy I love yous’s before you whispered a breathless and whiny “I’m gonna cum” Eddie breathed a heavy sigh of relief “Oh thank god” and soon enough the orgasm you had been teetering over the edge of for a long time came crashing down on you, biting into Eddies shoulder to suppress a loud moan as he led one final thrust before hot spurts of cum painted your walls.

132 notes · View notes

bboyplankton · 4 months

Text

2023 Playlist

2 Chainz & Lil Wayne – Long Story Short

38 Spesh – Crowned King

38 Spesh & Conway the Machine feat. Benny the Butcher – Speshal Machinery

38 Spesh & Conway the Machine feat. Pharohe Monch & Che Noir – We Outside

Adi Oasis – Serena

Adrian Dzvuke feat. Myx Quest – EGO

Ama Lou – Silence

Armani White feat. A$AP Ferg – Silver Tooth.

Austin Millz feat. Duckwrth – Familiar

Biako feat. Peyton – Holy Matrimony

BiC Fizzle – Loaded

BiC Fizzle – Where U From

BigXthaPlug - Mmhmm

BigXthaPlug – Rush Hour

BJ the Chicago Kid – Who Cares

BLK ODYSSY feat. Grace Sorensen – LET ME GO

BLK ODYSSY – ODEE

Boldy James & ChanHays – Trust Issues

Casper Sage – Flow State

Chase Shakur – x’s n o’s

Chiiild – Into The Deep End

Chris Brown – Feel Something

Chris Brown – Stutter

Ciara – Type A Party

Conway the Machine & Jae Skeese – The Chosen

Conway the Machine feat. Sauce Walka & Juicy J – Super Bowl

Curren$y & Trauma Tone – All Fucked Up

Curren$y & Trauma Tone feat. Maxo Kream – Cheat Code

Daniel Caesar – Do You Like Me?

Dave East – Letter to Kobi

Dave East – Like A Rose

Deanté Hitchcock feat. Big K.R.I.T. & Westside Boogie – Callin’

Dende – Nightmares

Destin Conrad feat. Masego – Super Paradise

Devon Gilfillian – The Recipe

DJ Drama feat. Jeezy – I Ain’t Gon Hold Ya

Doe Boy – Rhude Boy

Doja Cat – Agora Hills

Doja Cat – 97

Domo Genesis & The Alchemist feat. Tyler, the Creator – No Idols

Domo Genesis & The Alchemist feat. Freddie Gibbs – Till The Angels Come

Don Toliver – Leather Coat

Don Toliver feat. Kali Uchis – 4 Me

Ebony Riley – Draws

Elli Ingram – Heavy

Elmiene – Mad At Fire

Elmiene – Someday

Emotional Oranges – Lies You Tell

Fall Out Boy – What a Time To Be Alive

FNF Chop – Shooting

Forest Claudette – Two Years

Gucci Mane & B.G. – Idiots Worst Nightmare

Gucci Mane feat. Young Dolph – Pretty Girls

Hamzaa & 1srael – Borderline

IDK feat. Jucee Froot & Saucy Santana – Pinot Noir

Jack Harlow – They Don’t Love It

Jacob Latimore – Sorry

Jai’len Josey – Southern Delicacy

Jane Handcock – Layin Next to Me

Janelle Monáe – Water Slide

Jastin Martin – S.O.M.S. (Still Owe Me Something)

Jean Deaux – Dog

JMSN – Soft Spot

Jordan Ward feat. Lido – Pricetag/Beverlywood

Jorja Smith - Lately

Jozzy – Alone

Juicy J feat. La Chat – Deadbeat

Jungle – Back On 74

Justine Skye feat. Timbaland – Intruded

Kali Uchis feat. Don Toliver – Fantasy

K Camp – Spin the Block

Kenyon Dixon feat. Alex Isley – & Then Some

Kenyon Dixon – Lucky

Key Glock – Pop My Shit

Khamari – Doctor, My Eyes

Killer Mike feat. El-P & thankugoodsir – Don’t Let the Devil

Killer Mike feat. Curren$y, 2 Chainz, & Kaash Paige – Spaceship Views

KXNG CROOKED & Joell Ortiz – No More

Kyra – Sweet Mahogany

Larry June & The Alchemist feat. Slum Village – Orange Village

Larry June & Cardo feat. ScHoolboy Q – Pop Out

Leonard Charles feat. Reality Jonez – Get Out

Leon Thomas – Breaking Point

Lloyd Banks – Onyx AMG

Lloyd Banks feat. Method Man – 101 Razors

Logic feat. Norah Jones – Paradise II

Mac Demarco – Chicago

Machel Montano – Night Shift

Machel Montano feat. Destra – Shake the Place

Maeta feat. Ambré – Control Freak

Mahalia – Isn’t It Strange?

Mahalia – Plastic Plants

Marc E. Bassy – Change My Ways

Mannywellz – Be Alright

Masego – In Style

Masego – Remembering Sundays

Moneybagg Yo – Ocean Spray

Nas – Slow It Down

Nelccia – Options

Noah Guy feat. Amaria – Stay Here

Nonso Amadi – Foreigner

Omarion – Alkaline Drip

Paramore – Running Out of Time

Phabo – Casamigos

PinkPanthress – The Aisle

Preemo Rice – DEEP in my bag

Queen Naija – Soul Tied

RAAHiiM – Friend Zone

RAAHiiM – Lonely

RAAHiiM – Outside Freestyle

Reason – Gang Shit!

Rican Da Menace feat. Moneybagg Yo – Dumb

Rory feat. DRAM & Alex Isley – I Want You But You’ll Never Know…

Roy Woods – Don’t Mind Me

rum.gold – AM/FM

Sabrina Carpenter – Read Your Mind

Sabrina Claudio – Tastes So Good

Saint Harison feat. Tiana Major9 – homies

Saleka – Fantasy

Saleka – Séance

Sam Smith – No God

Sampha – Inclination Compass (Tenderness)

Sampha – Only

Sebastian Mikael feat. Flwr Chyld – It’s You

Selah Sue – When It All Falls Down

Shy Glizzy feat. 21 Savage – Slime-U-Out

Sy Ari Da Kid & Paxquiao – No Rules (Slut Me Out)

Tay Iwar feat. Knucks – Juice

Terrace Martin & Alex Isley – 2 Step in the Living Room

THEY. – Blu Moon

TOBi – Move

Tone Stith – Girls Like You

Tone Stith – Whoa

Travis Scott – I Know?

Travis Scott feat. James Blake & 21 Savage – Till Further Notice

Vedo – Consistency

Vedo – Deep (Hold You)

Vedo – You and Me

Victoria Monet – Smoke (Reprise)

Wale the Sage – Bleue

Wiz Khalifa – Tail Money

Yung Bleu – Can’t Help Who You Love

0 notes

dollycas · 6 months

Text

Special Guest - Victoria Hamilton- Author of Sieve and Let Die: A Vintage Kitchen Mystery #Interview / #Giveaway - Great Escapes Book Tour @MysteryVictoria

Sieve and Let Die: A Vintage Kitchen Mystery by Victoria Hamilton

It is my pleasure to welcome Victoria Hamilton to Escape With Dollycas today!

Hi Victoria, Please tell us a little bit about yourself. I’m a writer of mysteries. That’s probably the main way I would describe myself. But of course there is more. I love reading, naturally, mysteries, of course. But also memoirs, history non—fiction, true crime. I like tea and wine and brownies. I love autumn. I love cats, especially my own two, Poodle and Jimmy. What are three things most people don’t know about you? Well, I’m not sure, so this is just a guess. 1 – I’m Canadian, born and raised, and live in southwestern Ontario. 2 – I’ve never had children, so my characters (as far as I can say now) never will give birth to children either. I don’t think I could do the experience justice. BTW, I think parenthood is the most difficult job in the world. 3 – I took most of a university degree in English (never did finish it!) by correspondence BEFORE there was an ‘online’! I thought it would be the best way to learn the discipline writing for a living would require. I think I was right and it has done me well throughout my career. Now, if I could just get those last five credits. What books/authors have most inspired you? I am a dyed-in-the-wool Sue Grafton fan. Her approach to mystery writing – not too hard, not too soft, never gruesome, with real insight into the characters – inspired me in so very many ways. But I think my early love for Jane Austen (I mean, P&P and Persuasion? Come on! Best character interaction ever.) gave me a grounding in how to write about people of any time or place. What kind of research do you do, and how long do you spend researching before beginning a book?

It varies depending on whether I am writing a historical or contemporary, and whether there is any specific field of knowledge required of a character. For Sieve and Let Die I had to do research on what it takes to get a pharmacy degree, and some random information about zoning laws in Michigan, as well as how construction companies can cheat. But that was all easily accomplished as I wrote.

For my next historical, Lady Anne and the Haunted Schoolgirl, I have researched the lives of real historical figures, authors/playwrights sisters Sophia and Harriet Lee, who ran a girl’s school in Bath England from 1781 on. I started that research a year ago, but only started writing this summer. I love research! The trick is, to know when to stop. Do you ever suffer from Writer’s Block? It’s hard to suffer from something you don’t believe in. What people think of as ‘writer’s block’ is one of several things: a) a problem in the plot that you can’t move forward from b) you’re writing the wrong book or c) real-life problems are getting in the way and you perhaps need a break. What advice do you have for someone who would like to become a published writer? Find a genre or style you’re passionate about, and pour yourself into it. Be honest with yourself about the writing. Recognize your limitations and get help when you need it. When you are not writing what do you like to do? I love to read, so that, and TV (I have a guilty secret; I love so-called reality TV!). I have always done crafts – cross stitch, crochet, etc - but I’m finding more and more in the last few years that writing takes a lot out of me. At the end of the day, a book or TV accompanied by a cup of tea and a cookie is more relaxing. But fall is more my time for crafts anyway, so maybe I’ll get back into crafting! If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go and why? It’s more anywhere and anywhen! I have been so fascinated by Bath, England in 1786, I wish I could see it from then! What is next on the horizon for you? As always, I have plans! I am writing three books right now, but focusing mainly on Lady Anne and the Haunted Schoolgirl, which is proving to be great fun! Lady Anne Addison is preparing for her wedding in Bath, England, to the man she loves (and lusts!) the delicious Marquess of Darkefell. Needing a distraction, she answers a friend’s plea to help Miss Sophia Lee, playwright, author and school owner, to help one of their students with her frightening experience of seeing a ghost. The girl almost died as she followed its commands and climbed out onto the roof. When the poor young lady is murdered, Anne goes all in to find out who did it, while also navigating the treacherous waters of her estranged parents and her developmentally challenged brother all coming together in Bath for the wedding. Thank you, Victoria for visiting today! Please keep reading for information about Victoria's latest release.

Read the full article

#BeyondthePage #cozymystery #VictoriaHamilton

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diaryofseraph · 2 years

Text

7/18

a lot happened last night

let’s recap, because i need to process 8)

he came over after having sushi, and we just talked and watched stuff

we ended up taking the bdsm test because i just wanted to gauge things, which had interesting results (he’s pretty vanilla and dominant, which is what i suspected LOL)

one of the questions asked if the test taker was in a long-term relationship

he turned to me and asked, ‘how should i answer that?”

i just shrugged and said it was up to him/i don’t know

things seemed fine as he just selected “no opinion/medium”, but i did notice as i was cooking that he became very quiet and starting zoning out quite a bit

i even gave him a hug and he broke out of it to walk away and stare out the window ;;;

after a bit, he said, ‘so you must have noticed the air is a little different’

to which i sat down and we started talking

i felt so scared and sad, i legit thought he was gonna break up with me LMAO or just be a dick about the abortion i got a several years ago (i was thinking over and over again, god i regret sharing anything about myself at this point, it was all a mistake)

he talked about the question on the bdsm test made him sit and think about several things

it seemed like he needed some time formulating what he wanted to say and he just sat there staring ahead while i sat next to him, phoebe in the middle

he said that even though he seems playful on the outside, he is quite analytical/thinks things through internally

he talked about how he dates with the intention of forming long term relationships, and since he’s not younger he doesn’t really want to be a bachelor forever

it was reassuring to hear that from him since i was concerned he wasn’t viewing the relationship through a serious lens, and i was able to reassure him that i liked him a lot and viewed things in the same way in terms of dating him

the second thing he wanted to talk about was him feeling jealous/insecure about how me and my ex connected in a certain way (i suppose because i got pregnant? lol), and honestly that was kind of cute hearing that he was jealous :p i didn’t think i would see that side of him. but i talked about the rationale behind me breaking up with my ex

he asked how long the relationship was and whether or not we stayed in contact after, which again i thought was cute since he doesn’t ask many questions about my past :ppp

i got more information about his past relationships

1) 2.5 yr relationship that was off and on. he said he clung to it for as long as possible even though he felt like he just went along with everything (”yeah, i want to get married in disneyland too!”). she broke up with him several times to “test” him

2) relationship when he was in his senior year of high school with a freshman (chris hansen vibes yall). almost cheated on her (?). she cheated on someone else to be with him (lol). they broke up because she was moving permanently to new york and had no relatives/plans to visit arizona. it seemed like she was reluctant to break up but they mutually decided to end things

3) freshman dance hookup because of mutual friends and the fact that he had a bed available, apparently was awkward because they had sex on a dorm bed that was creaky and super high up LOL

4) relationship that happened because they were hanging around in the same circles/people so much. they had sex one night and he figured he should ask her out since they already hooked up. she really liked him and he was pretty lukewarm about the whole thing (thinking ‘what am i doing’ as he was banging her, LOL poor girl??). learned that he shouldn’t be in a relationship just to “get some.” things ended when they just stopped talking (”hey, want to hang out tomorrow?” “sorry, i can’t” and radio silence forever)

and he’s been single for 4 years since (i assume with dating throughout but no sexual partners or relationships formed). also it was good to hear he had never cheated on any of his partners, which is a dealbreaker for me. his eyes even watered up hearing what had happened to me LOL, what a cutie

i could tell that even though the air was heavy he did seem more open/vulnerable afterwards...talking more about himself and the people in his life

as we were walking to his car for me to choose out skateboard decks, i asked if he felt the same way with the “i love you”s, and he said that he did c: he just wanted to make the most of the period before things start getting routine (this “wild west” period where we don’t know what’s going to happen). but now that we have talked about our expectations, it’s really reassuring to me...

after we got back to my apartment, i was mixing bbq sauce with the pork and he said “ah i think i love you” while hugging me from behind lmfao, regardless of the context it was nice hearing it come out of his mouth

then he decided to sit back and have me make the first move on him, which of course had to be prefaced with me making up a cheesy line to “warm him up”

slow making out, tongues exploring a lot

my fingers trailing down to his jeans but him removing my hand because “he didn’t want to cum in his pants” lmfao

but eventually we relocated to my bed and cue more making out, wiggling out of clothes, him going down on me

and eventually he got on top of me, and it was just really hot hearing his fucking moans in my ear with each thrust

then he flipped me over and fucked me that way, hands tracing the contour of my waist to hips and then gripping, going at different speeds

making out again as he bent over to touch me

him asking how i want it, at what speed, to which i just say “anything’s fine”

but to gauge the waters with the dirty talk, i mention if i should dirty talk him, and it seems like he’d like it :p it would just make him cum faster

me begging him to fuck me harder, and him complying and shooting all over my back/ass while moaning loudly

him dipping me back to kiss me :p

then him observing me as i clean up the kitchen quickly, go through my nighttime routine, and then just talking in the shower for a while

and him deciding to sleep over c: wearing the same long sleeve black shirt as me. and us holding hands and cuddling in bed as we fell asleep

it was so nice that even when i rolled away at some points in the night, he would roll back over to hold me

then in the morning, him doing the dishes as i cook. i can hear his quiet humming as the water is running

excitedly mentioning that we should get sushi again before i leave

him talking more about his family and his siblings

a cute story about how he put more effort in than usual before going to the beach bunny show and his mom noticed and sat him down, asking him what was going on to make him act this way LOL

so she knew ever since then, technically :p

me mentioning chicago and him being cool with going

him wiping off any residual taste from breakfast and wiping it on his jeans so he wouldn’t get it on my business clothes before we kissed LOL

then making out, and then “one last one,” where we kissed more than just once

i’m

really

happy

i feel like i’m just floating

0 notes

hxhhasmysoul · 4 years

Text

The creature on the lower decks

____________________________

Rating: G

Tags: Space AU, aged up characters, killugon day, gon’s a prodigy but not in terms of physicality, in this au he’s a researcher

Warnings: one mention of worms and eyes

Summary: Gon can’t not explore.

A short written for the killugon day 2020 (am i cheating posting this now? it’s been the 7th here for a few hours now XD).

It’s in the same universe and story as ‘Zoldycks in space’.

Thank you @subdee for betareading <3

_______________________________

Only in the canteens did the passengers and crew mix. Other than that the researchers and corporate representatives kept to their cabins or general recreational areas, while the ship's personnel busied themselves in the restricted parts of the Void Traveller.

When they boarded, Captain Kruger showed the passengers around but the tour had covered only a few selected areas from the crew-only sections and Gon wished he could see all of it. He loved exploring so the various pastimes available on the upper decks and conversations with his peers only partially distracted him from his wanderlust. Talking to people outside of the university crowd helped a little too, the corporate representatives had a completely different perspective on the Void Traveller’s mission compared to the researchers. Whether the crew had any attitude towards their goals, other than to get there safely, Gon couldn’t quite tell. He tried to look approachable but they treated him with polite distance most of the time. According to Gon’s observations all three groups treated one another with a serious dose of suspicion.

Thus it surprised him when five crew members invited him to sit with them at breakfast. He soon realised why, though. The men saw him as an easy mark to make fun of. They started to tell him about various medical conditions he could develop from the fake gravity on the spaceship. Gon knew their stories held no water but he encouraged them anyway to amuse himself.

‘Space leeches’, Gon repeated after Sommy, the guy with a monkey-like robot on his shoulder. ‘Tell me more about them. I thought the ship didn’t have air vents that go outside.’

‘How else would it exchange air?’ Tonpa asked.

‘Ah, right, my bad.’ Gon nodded his head while suppressing a laugh. It wasn’t his first space mission, not even his second. His young age may have been misleading to these guys but Gon finished his masters in general biology at the age of 14. At 16 he got another in exo-zoology. He conducted research on Enceladus and Europa until he defended his doctorate soon after he turned 20. Later he went to Pluto for another research grant. He’d spent enough time in spaceships to know what to expect from them. Actually he may have even been born on one. Mito didn't know the details, she’d been stationed with her parents at the time, far from where Gon’s father’d conducted his research. She first met Gon a few minutes before pirates attacked the colony. She and other kids, including her nephew, were put in an escape pod and shot back to the Solar System. They drifted and slowly jumped through space for twenty five years, spent another year in quarantine, checked by doctors and military personnel, before their cryo capsules were opened. So in theory Gon was almost fifty years old, but no one counted cryo.

‘I'd love to see these leeches,' he said after Amori described the supposed parasites sucking someone's brain out through their eye socket. 'I'd like to dissect and describe one, it sounds like a new species, unknown to science, you know I could get famous for a discovery of this caliber. It’d be fascinating to write about their evolution, animals that can live in the void of space, waiting for their prey presumably for eons. Also fascinatingly enough their biology and feeding habits so fitted to the human biology, almost as if they co-evolved with us. This is great stuff, could prove the old theories from centuries past of ancient travellers who seeded life on Earth, so many people on the deep web are going to feel validated by this.' He flashed them a wide smile when confusion bloomed on their faces. 'I'm an exo-zoologist, this is very up my street, you see.'

Tonpa snorted, the others looked disappointed and maybe a bit bashful, it made Gon laugh out loud.

'We were just playing,' Umori said defensively.

'I know,' Gon winked. 'So was I. I don't expect to see an alien species before we start orbiting a planet.'

‘Yeah.’ Sommy scratched the back of his head.

'You could check the lower decks,' Tonpa suddenly said more seriously and smiled showing all his teeth which made him look predatory. 'You'd be surprised what specimens they keep there.'

The others chuckled but it sounded fake. They shifted nervously, discomfort clear in their posture and movements.

'Thanks for the tip,' Gon said and winked. 'Talk to you guys later.' He clicked a button on his empty tray so it'd be picked up by a service bot and he left the canteen.

Those guys were full of shit but they made him curious. He'd been wavering whether it was worth the risk to break some rules and venture into the crew restricted areas. Tonpa's cryptic suggestion kind of gave him an excuse. Could he ignore it and still stay true to his scholarly principles? What if the government was harbouring alien life?

Yeah, this sounds legit, Gon thought. It calmed his conscience. He just needed a crew pass to get to the lower decks.

---

It took him two weeks of socialising and charming his way into drinking with the crew before he lifted a crew pass. Now that he had a clear goal he didn't mind the delay. It was gathering resources and so a part of his expedition. He could work patiently for his goals once he set them and would never give up before he achieved them. All his tutors and colleagues at the university always admired or envied his dedication and focus, even though it sometimes put him in dangerous situations.

The maps the passengers received covered only the upper decks so he was going beyond that blind. His fingers trembled with anticipation, he loved everything about this. With his tablet in hand he sneaked into the maze of service corridors. Prepared for the labyrinth he launched a mapping app that he'd received while traversing the ice caves and tunnels on the moons of Saturn and Jupiter. It could create super accurate 3D maps on the spot by scanning the surroundings as he walked.

Gon moved slowly to let the app do its thing, but also to remain unnoticed, always ready to find a place to hide.

The crew areas looked sparse with little decoration, arranged with practicality in mind. It reminded him of the smaller intra-system ships, their size allowed for little extravagance. The Void Traveller resembled a cruise ship that took tourists on a tour of various planets and moons when it came to sheer size but also because the passenger areas were rather fancy.

Gon decided to explore it deck by deck as much as he could, his pass wasn’t of the highest priority so some areas would remain closed to him.

All the time as he wandered where he shouldn’t, a debate was taking place in his head. How probable was it that the military hid aliens on board? He kind of wanted it to be true. For his excursion to have this grand reveal.

On the first day he only found some production facilities and crew cabins which he chose to avoid. In the next few days he got deeper, far enough to barely make it back to attend meals with everyone. He had to start packing some food and a blanket to sleep without needing to come back to his cabin. His progress was too slow to reach everywhere within a day, he spent too much time hiding from the personnel. That part of his trips gave him an adrenaline rush he loved. Just on the verge of being discovered. Going further after that felt particularly sweet.

Maybe a week into his adventure he wandered into a chamber that would usually be devoted to the pilot AI, a large open space with a panel in the middle and servers within the tall walls. In the Void Traveller someone converted it into a sports area. Gon saw treadmills, stationary bikes and some other typical gym machines. He’d used similar ones on the upper decks. Further away he saw a ping pong table, a small basketball court and a squash room. Inside it, behind the thick glass a person was running and playing by themself.

Gon came closer to get a better look. Did Tonpa actually tell him the truth? The skin of the creature swinging the rocket with great accuracy was glowing with a myriad of colours, twinkling like dotted with little stars. But the general form looked very human, human male if he’d have to determine that at the first glance. Very pale with what seemed to be naturally white hair, nothing a bit of genetic engineering couldn’t achieve. In human terms maybe twenty years old, athletic build. But that shining skin, was that also genetic manipulation? For what purpose though, it made the creature stand out. Maybe a random mutation?

Gon collided with the glass when his curiosity took him too close.

The sound attracted the creature’s attention. They stopped playing and turned towards Gon, eyes wide in shock.

Gon smiled and put his hand behind his head, he felt very awkward stupidly busted like this.

The ball was still ricochetting from the walls, but when it launched itself at the creature they caught it sparing it only a quick glance. What reflexes, Gon marvelled.

The creature scrunched their forehead, like a human would. Their very beautiful face was marked by confusion.

‘It seems like you’re missing a partner to play.’ Gon spoke before they could. He reasoned it’d be better not to leave them too much time to consider the situation. He also hoped an offer like that wouldn’t be interpreted as threatening.

‘So it does.’

That sounded human, though the voice production sounded a bit off, as if the creature wasn’t used to speaking.

‘Come in, we’ll see if you can keep up.’ They went to the wall and got Gon a racket. ‘I’m Killua, by the way.’

‘Gon.’ He replied. He put his bag outside the glass room. After a moment of thought he stripped to his tank top and boxer shorts, from what he’d already seen Killua was no joke. He was in for a workout.

‘You’re on.’ Gon took the racket and assumed the position.

Killua smiled and threw the ball up in the air. A powerful swing followed.

#killugon #hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh fic #killugon day #gon frecss #killua zoldyck #hunter x hunter fic #aged up characters #space au #i have a lot of world building for this world #but i'm lacking a proper plot #maybe it'll come together at some point #who knows #and a whole long form fic'll come out of it #anyway #my trash writing #time zones let me cheat :P

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shadyteacup · 3 years

Note

Congrats on 300 followers! You really deserve it cuz you're so talented and amazing. Can I request a angst prompt 11 with dazai thank you ❤️

Hola amigo! Thanks sm :D

Here's some sad angst... n no, it doesn't have a fluffy end... :(

Osamu Dazai + “Tell me you don’t want to leave. Say I’m enough to make you stay. I know it’s not true, but please just say it.”

Warnings: Angst, strong language. || Word count: somewhere around 1600, ig..

Get Out

You were an observant person. You were pretty sharp and thoughtful. You weren’t dumb. In fact, you were smarter than the average John or Jane Doe. You never ignored any signs or forewarnings that your brain threw at you. You always reported if something seemed fishy. You have never ignored someone’s wrong doings before.

But then again, there’s a first time for everything.

Sighing, you opened the door for your boyfriend.

“Hey.”

You said as you turned around almost immediately, ignoring his smile. Walking inside, you sat back at your desk, resuming your work.

Dazai stepped in, confused and worried. He had a lot on his mind as of late. He had to maintain a perfect balance between home and work, and it was taking a toll on his wellbeing. He hoped it wasn’t affecting your mental state. Maybe seeing him depressed all the time was lowering your spirits? He dearly hoped that wasn’t the case, for he was trying really hard to relieve his stress before coming home. He tried his best to stay happy and come home with a smile.

He threw his coat on the couch, kicking his shoes off and getting himself a glass of water. He was tired and parched.

As he gulped down the heavenly liquid, he observed you from the corner of his eye. You were staring at the screen, hands frozen above the keyboard. You were thinking about something. It worried him. Your random zone out sessions made him question his behaviour. Was he being rude or mean to you? Was he the cause of your constant worry?

“Y/N?”, he called out to you, trying to get you to snap out of it.

You flinched slightly, peering at him through your lashes.

“Hmm?”

He walked over to hug you from behind, but you got up, effectively avoiding him.

“What’s wrong?”

He furrowed his brows, reaching out to grab onto your sleeve.

You froze at the contact.

“Why don’t you get changed? We can have dinner then.”

Dazai held onto you, determined to get an answer out of you.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”

“I ordered Thai food today. Its from that new restraint around the corner. Riddhi really recommends it.”

“Stop ignoring me. And who’s Riddhi?”

“My friend. You haven’t met her.”

You tried pulling out of his grasp, but he pulled you forward, holding onto both your arms, now.

“Look at me. Y/N.”

You sighed, avoiding his gaze.

“Why don’t you get changed? I’ve picked out a shirt for you. It’s on the bed.”

Dazai was fed up with your aloof behaviour. You had been acting strange and distant for weeks now. Everyday was the same. He would come home to you acting weird, you would ask him to change, and only then would you let him touch you. He was tired of this bullshit. He had tried asking you politely and patiently, but every time you evaded his questions. He was done with beating around the bush.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? What the hell have I even done?!”

He shook you, trying to pry an answer from you.

“Answer me! Tell me! What is it? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can figure it out. But you must tell me first. You have to speak. Say something!”

You ignored him, looking down at the carpeted floor.

Dazai sighed, letting go of your arms.

“Do you even care about us?”, he asked you.

“Tell me you don’t want to leave. Say I’m enough to make you stay. I know it’s not true, but please just say it”.

You whispered.

Dazai stared at you, confused.

“Of course, you’re enough. Tell me if you care. Do you even love me?”

You stepped back, trying to control your emotions.

“You’re the one going around fucking others. Unlike you, I actually care, Dazai.”

You whispered, afraid to look him in the eye. It had been weeks since you had smelled that perfume on him. It was sweeter than his own but had a musky undertone to it. That, paired with the random marks all over his body, was enough to convince you that he was having an affair. He was smart; he had tried subduing the perfume by carrying his own cologne with him and reapplying it after the deed was done. Whoever he was with probably supported him, as they always bit near the marks you had left. Your marks and their marks coincided.

Only you knew which marks were fresh and which were old. They didn’t know this, and often nipped at partially healed skin, reviving the bruise and giving it a nasty purple hue. That was a clear indication.

What disgusted you is that the person Dazai was sleeping with knew that he was cheating on his partner, and was supporting him by playing along with his plans.

The extra hours were also a clear give away. You had even called Yosano and Kunikida to ensure that the agency had called it a day. Both of them had told you that everyone had left the office, while your boyfriend claimed to be in a client meeting with Kunikida.

It was laughable how incompetent he considered you to be. Did he really think his half assed attempts at covering up would fool you?

“What the hell are you saying-”

“Don’t act dumb. I’m not stupid, you know that.”

Dazai continued his act, hoping to prove you wrong by putting it all on you.

“I’m a loyal partner, Y/N. Just because I’ve been having more work load lately, doesn’t mean you go around assuming shit about me. I honestly thought you were better than this.”

You sighed, finally meeting his gaze.

The dead look in them proved to him that he was caught. He could not do anything to fool you. You knew.

“It started three weeks ago, on Monday. You went to work at eight, came home around eleven. Work hours end at 6. You were smelling different. It was distinct. You never wear perfumes that have a sweet undertone.”

You stared at him dead in the eye, shutting him up with your gaze. He would not dare to come up with stupid excuses. Not with you looking at him like that.

“You had a hickey on your neck, on a spot that I hadn’t covered. You tried covering it up with makeup, but it wore off pretty quick. Ever since then, you have been visiting your secret friend daily. I’m guessing you go at least three rounds, since you come home so tired.”

“That’s just disgusting!”

“I thought so too. But it does tire you, doesn’t it? That’s the reason you come home so worn out. You go around having sex, and you’ve been trying to hide it from me for three weeks now. Tell me I’m wrong.”

His lack of reaction and the look of guilt plastered all over his face was as loud as a confession.

“Whoever it is, is blonde.”

He looked at you shocked.

“How-”

“I found strands all over your coat.”

He rubbed his forehead with his palm.

“You like them, don’t you? Its not just physical, is it?”

You asked with a sad smile.

“How do you know all this?”, he asked, devastated at the fact that you knew everything going on.

“I know you too well. I actually paid attention to our relationship. I cared.”

He ran a hand through his messy locks. He had been so stressed lately, he had to find an outlet. He wasn’t one to stay in any relationship for long, but he actually cared about you. He hadn’t meant to hurt you, which is why is never broke up with you. He was bored of the thing you both shared, but he knew that you cared. So, he pretended to be equally invested.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Because I wanted to continue this thing for as long as I could. But not anymore. I’m done.”

He widened his eyes at you. He had not expected you to end this. He might have been bored, but he still cared for you. He loved you. He didn’t want to let go yet.

“Y/N, we can work this out. Please don’t leave.”

He begged you, trying to come closer to you. You stepped back.

“Please don’t. I can’t handle your smell. That scent repels me.”

He gasped, finally realising why you didn’t let him touch you.

“The perfume is a constant reminder of my...”

“Yeah.”

“And you tolerated all that, for so long. All for us.”

You nodded, turning away.

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. Thanks to your intense questioning, I’m finally free.”

“It doesn’t have to end, Y/N! We can work this out!”

“No, we can’t. I’m not enough for your boredom, and I’m not willing to become someone else just to please you.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, please don’t- ”

You smiled bitterly at him, before opening the door of your apartment, signalling to him.

“Get out, and only come back to get your stuff. Goodbye, Osamu.”

This story features one of my close friends, Riddhi. I had fallen short of names to use n though why not write about an actual friend? She's not on tumblr, unfortunately. Damn I miss going out with her... anyways, hope u liked it! N sorry for the rant :p

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

Danger Days - Chapter thirteen: "Screaming infidelities"

Word count: 15,4K

Summary: It's Gubler's birthday and like the title says, someone will fuck it up.

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, angst, hurt, pain, alcohol, mention of oral sex.

A/N: Kids, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this, but... it's done. Please don't hate me.

Masterlist

---

::: Paris, March 1st, 2011 :::

Joey stared at the ceiling of her room and sighed. She was alone. It was already midnight. She was happy she finally had a room on her own, after weeks traveling on a bus with the band. They were in Paris, and she was weary. But still, she couldn’t sleep. She stared at her phone and sighed. Matthew had said “I’ll call you back” an hour ago, and still, he hadn’t called her back. That was killing her.

She hadn’t seen her fiancé in over a month, and they were both in different time zones, which made it pretty hard to talk. She was nine hours ahead. At the moment, she was fighting to stay awake to talk to him, but he wasn’t calling her. Would it be wrong if she insisted? Matthew was working… maybe Joey should just sleep. She was weary after all, too much traveling, too many shows. That tour was fucking eternal, and she just wanted to go home.

The young woman walked to her bag, grabbed one of Matthew’s shirts, and put it on a pillow. Yes, she dressed a pillow in her boyfriend’s clothes. That’s how much she missed him. She could deal with loneliness ‘cos she was used to being alone. Still, somehow, she couldn’t deal with the loneliness that meant being far from Matthew.

- "It’s a good thing I decided to marry him then"- she said to herself as she stared at the ring on her finger.

A big part of her wanted to time travel and tell four-year-old Joey everything would be ok, that she was going to be happy after all. That she was going to manage to trust not one but two people. Her soon-to-be husband and her best friend, Mikey Way. If there was something she could cherish from being on tour with My Chem for months now, it was calling Michael James her brother.

Joey wrapped her arms around “Mattpillow” and smelled his perfume on it. Maybe it was better to text him and tell him she was gonna call earlier; it was… three in Los Angeles. If she set the alarm at six in the morning, she could catch him around nine. Yeah, that was much better.

- “Call you later. I’ll sleep a little, love you! Take care!”- she texted him.

::: Barcelona, March 5th, 2011 :::

Mikey, Ray, and Joey walked outside the arena, searching for the best sangria they could find before the show. Joey’s mom had sent them on that quest, repeating over and over again there was no way they left Spain without having tasted it. And considering it was alcohol, they didn’t argue a lot with Mrs. Sigmundsson.

- "Dude, I’m so fucking tired"- Mikey whined as he finished his hundredth cup of coffee of the day.

- "I know, I need a break from touring"- Joey said and yawned- "I wanna go home."

- "Me too"- Ray added and looked at his phone- "I miss my wife."

- "Oh, shut up!"- Mikey argued right away- "I don’t wanna go over this conversation again, you have someone you love, and you miss them. I don’t miss home, I have no one, end of the story"- Joey and Ray looked at each other and raised an eyebrow.

- "Is your underwear too tight today, or are you just being a little bitch because you want to?"- Joey asked right away, Ray chuckled, but Mikey didn’t think it was funny.

- "Shut up, Bug."

- "Not in the mood to be nice, then."

- "Nop"- that last “p” sounded like the end of it. But that wasn’t going to stop Joey.

- "Sorry, we are…"- what stopped Joey was her cellphone. Her eyes shone like diamonds when she saw Matthew’s face at the other side of the screen, waking up.

- "Yami! Good morning!"

- "Akumu!!!"- Ray and Mikey looked at her and walked a little faster to give her some privacy.

- "Is she still sleeping with the “Mattpillow”?"- Toro asked- "That shit is creepy"- and Way laughed, finally, he had been pretty serious that day. And the day before.

- "Yeah, that’s a thing. I’ve taken pictures I wanna use to blackmail her in case I ever need it."

- "Good plan"- Ray looked around. Joey was standing half a block behind, still on the phone- "Mikey, are you ok?"

- "Yeah, why?"

- "‘Cos you don’t seem to be ok at all,"- Toro felt it was his duty as a friend to tell what had been in his mind for the last couple of weeks- "Dude I’m sorry, I just… don’t think you… it’s shitty you are getting a divorce. I just don’t think you are taking it well."

- "Can you take a divorce well?"- Mikey simply replied, and that was enough to shut Ray up.

- "I’m just trying to tell you I’m here if you want to talk, and you don’t have to get so drunk every time we are out or whatever."

- "Is this an intervention? ‘Cos we had many those for Gerard back in the days. I can recognize an intervention."

- "No, Mikey! It’s not. Everybody should be here reading letters if it was"- Ray had a point- "I’m just trying to tell you, I’m here for you, man. And we can talk about anything."

- "I know, Ray… I just… don’t feel..."

- "You don’t feel like talking, I know, you haven’t talked about it, ever I guess… and I don’t feel that’s working for you. I’m scared and worried, and I’m your friend, I had to tell you."

Way and Toro stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Mikey knew Ray was right; he had shut down from all his friends, basically for the last three months or so. Still, he didn’t feel ready to share any kind of thought or feeling with any of them.

- "Ok kids, around the block, there’s a place called “Las tapas de Pepe.” Apparently, they have a killer sangria"- Joey clapped and walked past them on her way to the bar.

- "Wait, how do you know that?"

- "Because, Raúl me enseñó muchas cosas nuevas, (Raul taught me a lot of new things)"- the two musicians looked at her frowning not getting a word, so the girl turned to them and smiled- "That guy over there, his name is Raúl. I asked for sangria, he gave me an address. Come on!"

Joey turned around again, avoiding looking sad in front of her friends. The truth was, she wasn’t doing that well about being far from Matthew. It was getting too hard. She was thinking about quitting. And every time she talked to him, she was feeling more sure about that decision. She never told him, though. She didn’t want to make him feel responsible in case she made a mistake leaving the job. She also didn’t want him to know how much influence he had on her, Joey didn’t want to lose power in his life, she didn’t want to stop being independent, but it was hard.

::: Germany, March 8th, 2011 :::

Mikey was sugar rushed, jumping around the bunks as the bus traveled from Zurich to Munich. He and Joey had bought most of the chocolates in Switzerland and ate half of them in less than two hours. They were in heaven. Sugar heaven.

- "Can you please stop it?"- Gerard yelled at them from his bunk.

- "Nope"- his younger brother answered and jumped like a kid on top of him.

- "Leave me alone! I wanna sleep!"

- "Fine. Come on, Bug, let’s get away from this loser"- his words were so childish Joey burst out laughing.

- "Get in, loser, we are going shopping"- Joey said and flipped her hair. Gerard stared at her walking away with his brother, and groaned as he covered his head with the pillow.

He was fucked.

The last month had been torture for him. Joey was now not even talking to him. Never. It felt she honestly hated him, and he knew he couldn’t ask. Lynz kept asking for her, and he was sure she suspected something was going on.

- "So, have you and the guys have fun these days?"- she had asked earlier that day when he called her before the show.

- "Fun like going out fun? No, we are too tired to move. These weeks have been killers."

- "So you are all just at the bus locked the whole time?"

- "Pretty much"

- "On each other’s faces?"

- "Yeah… I wanna kill Mikey."

- "And how’s Joey doing?"

- "Good… we haven’t talked much."

- "She hadn’t talked to you or you hadn’t?"- the singer made a pause thinking about that question, and most of all thinking what would be an intelligent answer to that.

- "We don’t share a lot"- that all he had- "I guess we don’t talk to each other"- he made a pause and lit a cigarette, walking on his own through the backstage- "Why do you ask?"

- "I don’t know, I guess you never talk about her, and I thought it might be because you have…"- Lynz made a pause to make her husband even more nervous- "A problem with her or something."

- "No, we don’t have a problem, we aren’t friends, that’s all…"

Now on the bus, Gerard closed his eyes, still hiding under the pillow, Joey’s laughter all around him, while Frank and Ray played video games. What was he going to do?

::: At the bus, close to Munich. March 9th, 2011 :::

It was Matthew’s birthday, and Joey was miserable ‘cos she couldn’t spend the day with him. But still, she set her alarm at eight am and locked herself in the back of the bus, texting him. She wanted to be the first one to sing happy birthday to him. And so she waited, looking at the clock.

She went through old pictures to kill time, watched part of a movie Mikey had left on the DVD the night before. Matthew didn’t reply to her text. And so she waited longer. Joey wanted to call him at midnight. She was nine hours ahead. Minute by minute, she waited. Until it was time. She smiled and dialed. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

- "Where the fuck are you?"- her stomach was made a knot as her brows furrowed. Third call. Matthew finally picked up the FaceTime call.

- "Yami!!!"- he yelled, wasted- "It’s a party!"- he pointed around and moved the camera of his phone like a maniac, making Joey dizzy right away. No wonder why he wasn’t picking up.

- "Happy birthday, Akumu!"

- "Hey! Hey!"- he tried to walk through a lot of people as Joey frowned, wondering where the hell her fiancée was.

- "Wild party!"- she said as soon as she noticed Gubler had locked himself in a bathroom to talk.

- "Yeah! The guys set a little surprise party for me"- he slurred and smiled- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "No, I love you more. Why aren’t you here?"

- "‘Cos I’m working, but I’ll be home in two weeks, so wait for me."

- "I want you here now."

- "I wish I was there."

- "Then quit"- Joey sighed. Arguing was useless; Matthew was drunk.

- "Hey! Akumu, is Paget there? Is she gonna drive you home?"

- "No, she’s not here."

- "You are not partying with your friends?"

- "Yeah, with the guys from the movie"- Joey raised an eyebrow, thinking she had no idea where Matthew was or with who.

- "Are you sure you are ok?"

- "Yeah, baby! It’s my birthday, we are gonna party like it’s my birthday!"- Joey’s heart ached at the thought of what could go wrong. But she loved and trusted her boyfriend, and she knew he would never hurt her.

- "Hey Matthew"- she said and looked straight into his eyes through the camera- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "I’ve got your heart here with me all the time"- she showed him her necklace, and he nodded- "There’s gonna be a present from me waiting for you when you get home."

- "Nice!"- Joey smiled, thinking it was probably Matthew wasn’t going to remember that conversation- "Listen, Yami, someone is trying to get into the bathroom."

- "That’s ok, I’ll call you later, ok dorky?"- he nodded and waved, the girl kissed the screen, but he had already hung down.

Joey hated being in Germany at the moment.

Could Gubler be an asshole and cheat? No way, Joey trusted him with her eyes wide shut. But he was hot and drunk, and she was sure there were more than just a couple of girls trying to get into his pants. If the guys were there- his friends- she wouldn’t even worry about it. But they weren’t. He was with some random people from the set she hadn’t even met.

Soon the regret of their last fight came to mind. They weren’t mad at each other, but perhaps… no, there’s no way he would be an asshole because of that stupid fight. It was a silly fight for her. Was it serious for him?

A few nights before, Matthew had gotten mad at a conversation with Joey ‘cos she didn’t want to change her last name. That’s what he picked from the conversation. She just said she didn’t think it was necessary to do so. He didn’t take it that well.

- "What’s the problem with changing your name?"

- "I’m just saying the tradition of women changing their last names after they marry it’s a bit old fashion. It makes me think women are still treated like an object that “belongs” to a man."

- "So you won’t change your last name?"- the girl frowned, staring at Matthew’s wide-opened eyes on the screen.

- "That’s not… do you want me to change it?"

- "Yes! of course, I do! you are gonna be my wife!"

- "So? If I’m still Joey Sveinbjörndottir after we marry, I won’t be your wife?"

- "That’s not what I meant"- Gubler was more frustrated than he had felt in months over any conversation they had ever had. This time, it was serious.

- "Then what is it?"

- "I’m just saying you should change your last name ‘cos we will be married, and I’d love for you to be Mrs. Gubler."

- "I will be your wife, isn’t that enough?"

- "Why do you always have to be so fucking independent?"- Matthew just yelled- "Can you just try to understand I want you to be mine? My wife! And I want everybody to know it!"

- "So you wanna put me on display?"

- "No!! Fuck no!!"- Matthew was tired and defeated. It seemed that stupid argument was more about a bunch of little things that had grown inside his head instead of just about the last name.

- "Why can’t I be independent? Is that a bad thing?"

- "No! It’s a good thing! I just... "- Matthew bit his tongue and sighed, trying to rearrange the thoughts in his head. He needed to make sure whatever he was going to say would explain his feelings clearly.

- "You just?"- Joey asked, standing in the middle of the hotel room she was staying at that night. She just stared at the wall, thinking she had no idea what had gotten into her boyfriend’s head.

- "I just don’t feel you need me sometimes."

- "What? Are you crazy?"

- "No, that’s what I feel. Are you gonna blame me for feeling?"

- "Well, you are being silly!"

Joey was real angry at him at the moment. Everything he had said hurt her. It seemed he had insulted all the kindness and love she had given him when it was very hard for her to show her feelings and let someone into her heart.

- "What is it that you want from me, Matthew? Do you want me to be needy and clingy? ‘Cos you know that’s not who I am!"

- "I know that! I just sometimes… it feels like you’d be great without me."

- "What?"

- "Like you don’t…"- but the girl didn’t let him continue.

- "Don’t say you feel I don’t love you!"

- "I know you love me."

- "Then?"

- "You don’t depend on me the way I depend on you"- the drummer was in shock at those words. Did he depend on her?- "You leave me here, you tour the world, you are happy, I’m here, I miss you. Every time we talk, you are shining… meanwhile, I am here, dying, waiting to be with you!"

- "First of all, you could come!"

- "I’m working too!"- but Joey cut him off and continued.

- "Second, who says I don’t miss you? Just because I’m not crying when we talk doesn’t mean I am not miserable! Matthew! What the fuck are you saying? I fucking love you with my whole life! I hate being here when I could be there with you at this very same minute doing anything together, even when that anything is staring at the wall! But I have to work, and I happen to love my job, the same way you love yours! You can’t blame me for not quitting!"

Joey bit her lips as she stared at Matthew at the other side of the screen. She was making her best not to cry. She had never been so mad at her fiancé before.

- "I just…"- he tried to continue, but his voice broke- "I feel like I’m going insane here without you"- tears fell from his eyes as Joey wiped off hers from her cheeks.

- "Matthew, I miss you too! Fuck! I’m going crazy, just like you! I want to be there. I wanna kiss you! I wanna make love to you! But… you can’t ask me to be someone I’m not! Can’t you just be happy your girlfriend loves you, misses you, and will marry you as soon as she finishes touring?"

Gubler sighed and stared at her.

- "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Matthew Gray Gubler. I don’t care about the last name. I don’t care about anything as long as you are beside me."

The young man sighed and cut her a short smile.

- "How do you always end up making me feel like a dork for getting mad at you?"

- "‘Cos I’m gonna be your wife, that’s my job"- she chuckled, and they stared in silence for a few seconds.

- "I love you so much, Joey."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray."

That had been days before. Was Matthew still upset at her because of that? No way. He didn’t sound mad at all. He was just drunk and happy to celebrate his birthday.

- "You are overthinking this ‘cos you are far from him"- the girl reassured herself out loud and looked at the screen again- “Love you dorky”- she typed and sent her boyfriend a message. That was something he couldn’t forget.

The girl stayed still looking at the TV in front of her for a few seconds, but the knot in her stomach was too tight, and the thoughts in her head were too scary. She felt sick, scared, anxious.

Joey was jealous, shit!

She ended up puking in the bus’s tiny bathroom, just like every time she felt seriously distressed.

- "Hey, are you ok?"- Gerard found her on the bathroom floor, flushing, pale, and a little weak.

- "Yeah…"

- "Are you sick?"

- "No, I just… I’m ok."

- "Sure?"

- "Yeah, I just need an herbal tea. I felt dizzy all of a sudden"- she held the hand he offered her and stood up.

- "I’ll put on the kettle"- Joey stumbled a little as she walked with Gerard to the front of the bus.

- "Hey Bug"- she heard Mikey’s voice as he opened the curtain of his bunk. She slowly moved over and sat next to him- "Did you talk to Matthew?"

- "Yeah, he was wasted"- and Mikey chuckled.

- "That’s my boy."

- "I didn’t like it."

- "Come on, he is a good kid. He will probably drink his liver away and then go to bed, have a killer hangover, and talk to you until either of you falls asleep like he always does."

Mikey reassured her, and the girl chuckled, nodding. Her friend was right. She was still dizzy, though, so she carefully laid down next to him and felt his arms around her slowly.

- "Bug, you are freezing."

- "I’m ok. Gerard is making me an herbal tea… I should do it, actually; he ain’t my nanny"- the girl tried to stand up, but Mikey held her.

- "You should get into your bunk for another while. You might be getting the flu."

- "I’m ok, trust me"- she finally stood up and smiled at her friend.

- "Here, take my hoodie."

- "Thanks… it stinks."

- "But it’s warm, does the trick"- she smiled and put it on. Gerard had just left the cup of tea on the table. She walked over slowly and cut him a smile. An honest and nice smile.

- "Thank you, Gerard."

- "You can call me Gee, you know"- she nodded and sat down by the table.

Gerard sat in front of her, sipping his fresh cup of coffee. The two of them were quiet. Joey was thinking about Gubler. What was he doing at that very exact moment? Why wasn’t she there? How would it have been if they were together? They would probably be naked in his bed. And that would be great. It would be way much better than what she was doing at the moment, sitting on a bus staring at the window.

- "Are you sure you are alright?"- he whispered, and she nodded again- "Do you wanna go back to bed? I mean bunk."

- "No, I’m fine here… besides, we should be getting ready…"- she stayed quiet and looked outside- "Where are we?"

- "Munich"

- "Great… we had a hotel room here, right?"

- "Yeah"

- "Finally!!!"- she raised her arms, and he chuckled- "I need a real bed."

- "Me too."

- "And a long fucking bath"- he nodded and looked into her eyes. They were stuck in the cup of tea again.

- "We’ve got the Valencia gig in a couple of days."

- "Right! The MTV streamed no stressful at all show in Spain"- he chuckled and nodded.

- "Nervous?"

- "Not really"- she lied, the fact MTV was going to stream the show was freaking her out, but at the moment, she didn’t care that much. Her head was back in Los Angeles. Her phone hummed, and she quickly grabbed it. “I love you too,” Matthew had written, and a deep sigh came from her lips. Gerard was going to ask something, but not a word came from his lips. Instead, Jeff - their tour manager - opened the door and smiled.

- "I got you an early check-in at the hotel."

And those words were music for Joey’s ears.

That day was hell for the girl. The good thing was the band didn’t have anything to do but play the show, which meant: movies with Mikey and Frank, the best way to keep her head busy from thinking the worst.

- "I’m bored"- Frank whispered as he played with Joey’s hair, who was laid next to him.

- "We have to leave for the show in a while"- Mikey whispered, half awake, half asleep.

- "Great"- the girl murmured, eyes glued at the screen- "I’m hungry."

- "You just ate."

- "I’m bored. Boredom makes me hungry."

- "Come on, let’s get something to eat"- Frank grabbed Joey’s hand and stood up- "I need to move from this bed, or I’m gonna die of boredom."

- "Can you bring me some ice cream?"- Mikey asked from the bed as Joey and Frank put on their shoes.

- "Nope, if you want something, you gotta come with us"- the girl smiled at her friend, who didn’t move.

- "Damn it! Fine… I won’t have ice cream."

- "Good for you, see ya!"

Gerard was just done jerking off in his bed. He wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t have much to do. He had tried to make music, but shit wasn’t working. He had thought about calling his wife, but it was five in the morning in Los Angeles. He was miserable. He wanted to find a way to end his agony. But all he could think about was Joey walking around the bus in her pajamas. Joey sleeping in the back of the bus in those shorts and a tank top. Joey curled on a couch reading Edgar Allan Poe. His cock was killing him, and his hand hadn’t been enough. He wanted her so bad it hurt, and masturbation just wasn’t enough anymore.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he was willing to make her happy. But he knew he couldn’t do either of those things.

- “Come live with me and my wife, ‘cos polygamy ain’t illegal or whatever.”

The singer sighed and looked at the ceiling, toilet paper all over his hand, cleaning the mess he had left.

- "You have issues, dude"- Gerard said out loud and closed his eyes. Honestly, there was nothing he could do but to love the girl from a safe distance and hope for his feelings to fade as soon as the tour was over.

Way didn’t want that tour to end because he didn’t want to be apart from Joey. In fact, Gerard was starting to feel obsessed. He hated it, but still, he didn’t know how to stop.

Frank kept laughing like a kid as he and Joey sat at the hotel’s roof deck. He was drinking a beer and smoking while she finished her second ice cream.

- "Mikey Fucking Way"- she argued, frowning- "Because of him, I can’t stop thinking about getting ice cream."

- "You are so fucking high in sugar"- Frank added and grinned.

- "I know! It’s gonna be hell when I get my sugar hangover."

- "I can kiss your temples if that helps"- he answered and winked at her. The girl smiled and raised an eyebrow.

- "Why are you such a flirt with me, Frank Anthony?"

- "I am not a flirt!"- he answered, nearly insulted, but still chuckled after a few seconds as his friend stared at him right into the eyes.

- "Come on! We’ve been friends for a long while now. You are always such a flirt with me. Are you like this with all the girls?"

- "Define like this"- he answered with a lower voice and made his best to look as hot as fuck.

- "Just what you did, you are adorable and hot and cute and all innocent. Why are you like that?"

- "Why? You don’t like it?"

- "I love it, it’s so fucking funny and cute, like you. But sometimes it makes me wonder if you are like that with all the girls…"

- "Why?"

- "’Cause I know you are just my friend, and you can be as flirty as you want; I know it’s a game. But what if you do this with someone who doesn’t get it as I do… then what?"- Frank stayed quiet, looking at his friend. Then took a long drag from his cigarette.

- "What if I’m just a flirt with you?"

- "I surely doubt it"- Joey quickly answered, laughing- "I’ve seen you flirt with basically 99% of the girls we’ve met this tour. You just don’t notice it."

- "I haven’t!"

- "You do, Frank, that’s why I know you are harmless"- that frustrated the guitarist, though he knew he wasn’t going to get any with her anyway. She was his friend; he loved his wife. He just thought Joey was hot.

- "Tell you what, I like flirting with you ‘cos you are cute, and you don’t get nervous"- Iero simply confessed.

- "Of course, I don’t! You are my friend, and this is like…"

- "The nature of our friendship?"

- "You just read my mind, Jersey"- the two of them stayed quiet and smiled.

- "I would hit on you if I wasn’t married, though"- Joey burst out laughing at those words, but Frank just smiled- "I mean it."

- "I know."

- "If I wasn’t… and I did… do you think I’d stand a chance?"- the girl blushed and finished her ice cream.

- "I’d say you would if Gub wasn’t in the picture, of course. We could have gone out on a couple of dates, have fun."

- "And fuck like bunnies"- Frank added, and Joey hit his arm.

- "Dude, you are my friend. Friends don’t fuck."

- "What? So friends make love? besides, we are talking about an alternative universe that will never happen!"

- "Shut up!! You are gross!!"- Joey covered her face with both hands as she shook her head- "You are so fucking funny Jersey, I’m glad I met you."

- "I’m glad I met you too, Iceland. You should stay forever"- she smiled and nodded.

- "I’m not going anywhere today."

- "I mean, you should sign to be a member of the band, like… one of us."

- "One of the guys?"

- "Yeah"- she smiled and held his hand.

- "You are taking this relationship too fast. We’ve been together a few months. We haven’t even moved in together. I don’t think we are quite there yet."

- "You live on my fucking face, Iceland"- Frank laughed and pushed her- "Which reminds me, you have to do your fucking laundry."

- "Yeah… I swear I’ll do it in Spain, while you do all the press and I have the hotel all by myself."

- "You know, sometimes I hate you for that."

- "For not having to do any interviews?"

- "Yeah… I hate those things."

- "Why? 'cos you have to sit in front of a microphone for hours answering the same fucking questions, over and over again?"- she said, smiling.

- "Fuck you."

- "I’m sorry!!"- she laughed, and he grinned- "I bet press sucks, but it comes hand in hand with being a rockstar."

- "I hate that too"- he said and scratched his head, stubbing his cigar in an ashtray- "I just wanted to make music. I don’t know where everything else came from. Sometimes I wish I could stop it all and go home, be with my babies, with my wife."

Frank suddenly had gotten too serious and too deep, something Joey knew was like the comet Halley: it happened once in a lifetime around her.

- "Why don’t you stop?"- she innocently asked, mostly ‘cos she had thought about stopping herself.

- "I don’t know, it’s like… you somehow got trapped in this machine, and it won’t stop working, and if you take a step back, it all collapses…-" he looked at his hands as he spoke, but Joey held them and smiled.

- "I don’t think anything is gonna collapse if you stop doing tour after tour for a while"- she whispered- "There are more important things in life than concerts, you know."

- "Name one"- he said and looked into her eyes.

- "Your kids"

- "Nailed it"- and Joey burst out laughing- "It was too easy!"

- "Exactly, nothing is more important than the ones we love, so shut the fuck up and man up! ask for a break every once in a while, ‘cos this leg of the tour, I must say, has been misery for all of us."

- "I know!"- Frank gesticulated in the most Jersey Italian way that always made Joey laugh- "It’s been hell!"

- "The only good thing of it all, other than the money, I mean"- she said and chuckled- "It’s the fact I can call you my friend."

- "Awww, Iceland. You could have called me your friend from day one, even when I hated the guts out of you."

- "Why did you hate me, by the way?"

- "‘Cos I wanted to do you so bad I didn’t want you in the band"- Frank simply answered, and the drummer raised an eyebrow.

- "Are you joking?"- by her face, Iero could tell the comment hadn’t been the best he had done.

- "Of course, I am!!"- no, he wasn’t- "I just didn’t want to make a circus out of the fact you are a girl. I knew people would start making up stories, and Jamia would be nervous and jealous because of you… having a woman in the band back then meant a mess I didn’t want to deal with."

- "And why did you change your mind?"

- "Mikey forced me"- Joey nodded, and Frank smiled- "And Jamia was really into you from day one. She loved the idea of adding a girl into the tour ‘cos there weren’t enough women in rock… but mostly ‘cos I told her your boyfriend was the hot guy from Criminal Minds, and I swear, she nearly yelled. She wanted me to friend you so she could meet him."

- "I’m in this band ‘cos your wife thinks my soon to be husband is hot?"- and Frank nodded- "I owe Jamia more than I thought I would. Maybe I can send her a picture of Matthew naked"- Frank raised an eyebrow as Joey smiled- "You know she is gonna love those."

- "But he is so tall… he is gonna make me look bad"- he joked, and Joey laughed like she hadn’t laugh that whole day.

- "Of course, he is. But in your defense… he could make every single fucking man on earth look bad. Have you seen his feet?"

- "Joey!! Shut up!!!"

Matthew woke up on his bed, his head killing him and a complete blur of what his night had been. He just sat and scratched his head.

- “What time is it?... wait, how did I get home?... fuck!! What happened last night?!”

The young actor nearly jumped as he started to recap his birthday party. The cast from the movie had arranged a party in a local bar, he was really happy about it, though he almost declined it. He was tired, but his co-star convinced him it was a great idea to go out, get to know everybody a little better, and start his birthday celebration.

- "Oh fuck"- he grunted- "My fucking head is killing me…"- he reached out for his phone and found it on his nightstand. He had a few unread messages from Joey

- “I love you Akumu!”- he smiled right away- “Remember to leave a bottle of water by your bed to keep you hydrated”- and he had indeed left one there- “Save some birthday belated celebration for my comeback in a few days.”

- "Honey!"- his mother’s voice took him from his head as he looked at his bedroom’s door

- "Mom! What are you doing here?"

- "Happy birthday, honey!!"- he stood up and walked over to hug her immediately.

- "Mom! Thank you so much for coming!"

- "I had to come, I have to give you something"- the actor frowned- "This came into the mail for you a few weeks ago, but I had to wait until today to give it to you"

Mrs. Gubler smiled as she gave her son a box. It was completely hand-drawn with jako lanterns, cute skulls, ghosts, and hearts.

- "What is this?"

- "A present that you got from very far away, or so it seems."

Matthew grabbed the box and sat on his bed to open it. Inside, there was a letter from his fiancé, a couple of gorgeous kimonos, Japanese books, art, a few Halloween shirts, and unmatching socks. Matthew was speechless, staring at the box. It was amazing.

- "I can’t believe this"

- "Joey sent it when she reached London, and we agreed I would bring it to you today."

- "Thank you"- he moved over and gave her a hug.

- "Don’t thank me for coming over on your birthday, honey. I love you, thank the girl at the other side of the world who gathered everything you might love and shipped it to you on your special day"- she kissed his cheeks and stood up-" I’m gonna make you breakfast, and you are gonna take a shower ‘cos you stick, are you still drunk?"

- "No mom"

- "Then call your wife! And thank her for the presents!"

- "Yes, mom!"

Matthew grabbed his phone, smiling, and dialed Joey’s number. It rang once. It rang twice. He was about to give up and try later when the girl picked up and smiled at the other side of the screen.

- "Birthday boy!"

- "Baby! You are amazing!"- he quickly said and laid back on his bed- "I just got my presents."

- "Did your mom give you the box?! did you like it?"

- "Hell yeah! It’s amazing, thank you"

- "Did you like the kimonos?"

- "They are the softest!"

- "I know!! I was in shock! You can hang them in the kimono closet!! So when you get home, you can get naked, grab a kimono and just relax!"

- "Are you gonna be naked under your kimono too?"- the girl giggled nervously.

- "That’s very likely"

- "I like that idea. Where are you?"

- "Backstage warming up, we are playing at eight… did you just wake up?"

- "Yeah…"- he whispered and closed his eyes.

- "You were fucking wasted last night."

- "I thought you didn’t notice"- he answered, chuckling, still feeling uneasy about his wild night out. It felt off. Probably ‘cos he was way too hungover.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna be your wife. I know when you are drunk, you can’t fool me even if you tried your best"- the actor laughed softly (laughing also hurt) and nodded at Joey- "Wait, the guys wanna say hello."

Matthew saw Mikey, Frank, and Ray appear and waved at the camera.

- "Happy birthday, dude!"- Ray said smiling- "How’s the hangover?"

- "Killing me!"

- "Save some liver for our party, man!"- Mikey said and waved too

- "Hope you have a great day!"- Frank added.

- "Thanks, guys!"- Matthew said and waved, yet his eyes were glued at Joey, who kept looking at him with a warm smile.

- "Where’s Gerard?"- Mikey asked and looked around. Gerard. Gubler frowned immediately. He hated him deeply, and he hated the fact Joey worked with him.

- "He was smoking outside"- Frank answered and waved again at the screen- "See you, Gubler!"

- "Bye guys!"- the band walked away, and Joey was now again all alone- "Hey, gorgeous"

- "Hey, wild party beast. What are you doing for the rest of your birthday?"

- "I’m not leaving this bed"- Joey laughed and looked at him in silence for a couple of minutes.

- "I’m gonna be in that bed with you in twelve days, can you believe that?"

- "I’ve waited so long it seems to be an eternity, but at the same time, it feels like it’s gonna be tomorrow."

- "I know exactly how you feel."

- "Honey! breakfast!"- Matthew’s mother yelled from the kitchen, making the young man laugh.

- "I am ten years old again, or was that just a strong flashback?"

- "Go eat, I’ll play a show, and I’ll call you from the hotel, ok?"- he nodded and smiled.

- "I love you so much, Yami."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray “birthday boy” Gubler. Talk to you in a couple of hours."

The actor hung down and sighed. He felt happy to know he had her in his life. That she was gonna be his wife. As he thought about it, he started going through some of the pictures from the night before. He remembered half of it, but it felt like he had fun.

- "Fuck!!"- he shouted and wide opened his eyes.

Maybe a little too much fun.

Matthew stared at the screen in shock. There was a picture of him kissing two girls at the same time. Two. Girls. Kissing. Him. At. The. Same. Fucking. Time. And it didn’t help when he noticed, one of those girls was his ex-girlfriend.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- he kept going through the party pictures, shots, laughter, his ex kissing him while they danced. Bunch of people, more people laughing, his ex and her friend kissing him again.

- "Fucking shit! What the fuck did I do?!"

Matthew’s heart was about to come out of his throat as he started deleting every single photo from his phone. Why were those there? Why did he do that? Who saw him? Where were those pictures now?

- "What the fuck did you do, mother fucker?! What else did you do?!"

Matthew couldn’t move. He just sat with the phone in his hands, thinking if he erased those pictures from his phone, it was like it never happened. But now it was in his mind, and he couldn’t stop the memories from coming back.

He was drunk and sad after talking with Joey. He had another shot and decided to go home, but his ex-girlfriend and one of her friends- part of the team of the movie he was filming- appeared and invited him to dance. Drunk Matthew didn’t seem to think it was a bad idea and joined them on the dancefloor. They danced, the girls started kissing. Gubler liked it and didn’t move away when they moved closer to him and started kissing with him too.

- "Oh fuck!!"- he wanted to kill himself.

But that wasn’t all. He wished it was, but it was all coming back now. His ex took him to the backroom.

- "No!"- Matthew yelled, widening his eyes- "No!"- he repeated, as his mother appeared running into his room.

- "Honey! What is it?! What happened?"

- "I fucked it up!"- he simply answered and didn’t move an inch

- "What are you talking about?"

- "Last night at the party… I ran into Annie, and she was with a friend and…"- the actor made a pause and scratched his head aggressively

- "Matthew?"

- "And they kissed me happy birthday…"

- "Matthew?"

- "And then… mom sorry, I can’t tell you this"- the young man tried to stand up, but his mother stopped him.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, what did you do last night?"

- "I made out with them, and Annie gave me a blowjob"- he covered his face with both hands, embarrassed and regretful. He felt sick, dirty, gross. He felt like an animal, like everything he had always hated, like a man who cheated.

He cheated. And he wasn’t going to be able to undo it or even forget it.

Matthew broke into tears quietly at first, but his sobbing grew bigger, sadder, and more desperate. He hated himself, he needed to find a way to forget about what had happened, but he couldn’t. Instead, the memories kept coming; Annie kneeled in front of him.

- "Mom… I fucked it up."

- "Yes"- she simply replied- "You did, and Joey is gonna find out, no matter if you don’t tell her."

- "How do you know? Maybe no one saw us"- the actor was in denial and desperate to find anything that could keep him from dealing with the truth- I might have just dreamt the whole thing, maybe it never happened

- "Matthew?"

- "Maybe I can forget about it. If I don’t remember it, then it never happened."

- "Matthew"

- "Mom, I can’t tell her!"- he nearly shouted, nervous and grossed out by himself.

- "I didn’t raise a liar or a cheater"- the young man looked at his mother with watered-up eyes.

- "How am I supposed to tell her something like this? she is gonna hate me! She is gonna break up with me, mom. I know her."

- "You have to take responsibility for the things you’ve done, Matthew. You said you wanted to marry her. You can’t start that commitment with a lie."

- "She is gonna hate me… fuck, I hate me…"

- "Well, you brought it to yourself, Matthew Gray, so you have to fix it."

Gubler took a long shower and cried half of it. He couldn’t believe what he had gotten into. Or why. What had gotten into him to get so drunk ‘till the point of letting his ex-girlfriend give him a blow job? That wasn’t him. He remembered he felt bad after talking with Joey. He knew he couldn’t stop thinking she was touring with Gerard and hated him. What if he had tried to make his move on her? What if she fell for him? She wouldn’t. But what if she did? They had been apart for so long. No, he trusted her with his life. She would never do such a thing.

Then why had he done it?

Matthew honestly wanted to kill himself. That’s how guilty he felt. He knew Joey was never going to forgive him, and he was considering not ever telling her. She was never going to find out if he didn’t confess. Maybe he could take it to the grave.

Mikey hugged Joey goodnight and watched her walk to her room. Gerard looked at them from the other side of the hallway. The girl waved at him, and he waved back.

- "Hey! What are you doing?"- Mikey asked his brother as he lazily walked over him, weary after the show.

- "I just wanted to know if you wanna hang out. James and Frank are locked in their rooms already. Maybe we can watch a movie or something. I don’t feel like being on my own for a while"- Mikey nodded at Gerard.

- "Sure, man. Let me take a shower, and I’ll be right there."

Originally, Gerard wanted to drag Joey along with his brother, ‘cos it seemed like the only way to hang out with her. But she had disappeared way too fast to make his move.

The girl took a shower, put on her pajamas, and dialed Matthew’s number. He didn’t reply.

- "Hangover man has to be hanging out with his mom"- the girl thought out loud and grabbed a book to kill time. He was going to call when he was ready to talk.

Was he?

Matthew saw his cell phone right and froze. His hands shook when he reached out to answer, and that’s when he realized he couldn’t. He wasn’t going to be able to lie to her. But he couldn’t tell her either. He was home alone. His mom was out, mainly to give him space to think and talk with Joey in private. But yet, Matthew didn’t know what to do or what to say.

- "Ok, she is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you are willing to do everything that’s in your power to keep her by your side"- he said and looked at his reflex in the mirror and then washed his face.

- "Akumu!"- Joey smiled as soon as he saw him- "How was breakfast?"

- "Chocolate chips hotcakes with a whipped cream smile on top, and lots of coffee."

- "Spoiled by your mother on your birthday, lucky man"- he smiled and felt a knot in his throat.

- “Fuck! this is going to be so hard!” And how was the show?"

- "It was good, not the finest though… we are all so fucking tired"- the girl laid on her bed and smiled at her boyfriend- "When I get home, I’m not leaving that bed Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna spend every second there... sleeping."

- "I’m not planning on sleeping if you are in this bed"- he answered and felt his voice shake at the end of the sentence, guilt taking over him.

- "You are gonna have to let me sleep at least a day. I’m so fucking tired and jet-lagged all the time. This tour ruined my sleeping schedule"- Joey joked but frowned as she noticed her boyfriend had tears falling from his eyes- "Akumu, what is it? Are you ok? Why are you crying?"

- "‘Cos I miss you"- he simply answered- "I miss you so fucking much! Can we just get married when you get here? I’ll pick you up at the airport, drive us to the nearest church, and we just get married right away"- the girl sighed with watered-up eyes herself as she stared at Gubler sobbing.

- "I miss you too… and I can’t wait to marry you either."

- "Can you promise me you’ll always be with me? No matter what?"

- "Matthew, I swear I’ll always be by your side"- the girl felt broken-hearted by the emotion in her fiancé’s words. She had never seen him so sad before, was it because she wasn’t there on his birthday?- "That is the main reason why I wanna marry you dorky, ‘cos I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, in one eternal Halloween"- Matthew smiled at those words and wiped off his tears.

- "Sorry, I’m just a little emotional… ‘cos I miss you, and I need you here."

- "I’m sorry I couldn’t be there."

- "No, Yami, don’t be sorry. You are working! And you are so awesome and incredible. I swear I don’t deserve you."

Matthew kept trying to stop crying, but it was harder than he thought. He was feeling so guilty, so low, the worst human on earth. And the girl on the other side of the world was just telling him she thought he was the best man amongst them all.

- "Yes, you do! You are an incredible man, hangover boy! I should be the one telling you how amazing you are, it’s your birthday! I want to make you feel happy all the time, please don’t be sad!"

- "I just need to see your face to be happy today"- he answered without hesitation and sighed- "You know what?"

- "What?"

- "I’m gonna tour with you."

- "What?"- Joey frowned and looked at how Matthew sat correctly on his bed and fixed his hair.

- "Yes, I will. I hate this. I hate being apart from you this long. So next couple of months, I’m gonna follow you wherever you go."

- "You’d do that for me?"- the girl widened her eyes

- "Joey, I would do anything for you"- Matthew made sure to pronounce every word as slowly as possible as he looked at her eyes- "So I’ll schedule plane tickets to be with you."

- "And your work?"

- "You are more important than my job. I can’t be like this anymore, we are gonna finish the movie in two weeks, and after that, my only job will be to clap after every song you play"- Joey smiled, feeling her heart swell with love, as a few more tears fell from her eyes.

- "You are making me so happy."

- "My plans for as long as I live exactly."

Mikey and Gerard were laid watching tv. Mikey kept surfing channels while Gerard sipped his diet coke and scrolled down his Twitter timeline. Neither of them felt like talking, pretty much ‘cos they were tired, and after being so many weeks stuck together, there wasn’t much new to say.

- "Weird!"- Mikey chuckled as they caught a Criminal Minds episode and Matthew as Spencer Reid appeared on screen- "I never thought I’d friend this guy."

- "Why did you do that? he is an asshole"- Gerard simply answered and kept his eyes stuck on the phone.

- "He’s not an asshole. He is hilarious. You’d like him if you met him."

- "Not interested"- Mikey frowned and kept surfing channels- "Wow, I thought you were going to watch your boyfriend’s show."

- "Wow, very mature, Gerard."

- "Sorry"- the singer knew he had crossed the line, mostly ‘cos he shouldn’t show how much he hated Matthew because…

- "Why do you hate him so much?"- because Mikey could start asking questions, and he didn’t want to talk.

- "I don’t hate him. He is not my friend, which is very different."

- "And Joey is not your friend either"- Mikey added- "You never talk to her."

- "She never talks to me"- Gerard added, and his voice betrayed him, showing some bitterness in his words.

- "Well, maybe because you didn’t want her in the band."

- "It’s been months. Get over it."

- "Now that I think about it, you are not even close to her at all…"

- "You are way too close to her, close enough for the two of us"- Gerard spit those words, still not looking at his brother.

- "What? Are you jealous or something?"

- "No!"- he snorted- "Why? Should I?"

- "I don’t know. You are being an asshole."

- "I’m just tired…"- Gerard came up with the worst excuse ever

- "Ok, if you are tired, I’ll leave you to sleep, dude, you are not what I call a pleasure to hang out with anyway"- Mikey stood up and walked to the door- "See you tomorrow at the plane."

Mikey left the room, and Gerard groaned, annoyed. He grabbed the remote control and surfed the channels until he found Criminal Minds again. He just wanted to see Matthew’s face to hate him even more.

- "What’s so special about this asshole? He is just a pretty boy, no talent, definitely no acting skills… He is tall. That’s all he has in his favor"- Gerard was arguing with the television out loud.

- "I mean… it’s clear he is not as smart as his character, and he ain’t funny either, shit! I bet he hasn’t done anything but this stupid tv show and those 3 minutes in the Wes Anderson movie."

Gerard opened google and searched for information about Matthew Gray Gubler, just to make sure he was a loser. He hated to know he wasn’t, though Gerard thought everything he had done had been pathetic so far. Everything but proposing Joey. And that was what Gerard hated the most. It was sick, and he knew it, that obsession he had about that girl, the one he couldn’t have. He just couldn’t take the idea of being with her out of his mind. Why? Was it because obviously, she didn’t want him? Many girls hadn’t wanted him before. Why was this one killing him slowly?

- "Oh fuck!"- Gerard nearly shook with his coke when he saw a picture of Matthew’s birthday- "Oh man!! I knew you were too good for my girl!!"- Gerard wanted to jump when he saw a picture of Matthew making out with a girl and the comment: “Matthew Gray Gubler birthday, 2011”.

- "You are going down!!"

::: Munich, March 10th, 2011 :::

Ray and Joey walked out of a Krispy Kremes at the airport, waiting for their flight to Valencia, holding a huge box of freshly made donuts. Joey was in heaven, and Ray was laughing at how excited she was about coffee and sugar.

- "Touring with you and Mikey together has been the best training to be a dad one day"- the guitarist said, chuckling.

- "Are you planning on having babies, dad?"

- "Yeah, it’s something me and Christa have talked about a few times. I want to wait until life gets a little bit less… messy ‘cos I wanna be with her the whole way and enjoy our babies."

- "Oh, dad, you are so cute"- the girl pout and punched his arm- "I want babies too, but I don’t think it will happen soon."

- "Why?"

- "Well, ‘cos I guess I want to wait until I have a steady job first."

- "And what is this for you?"- Toro gesticulated.

- "I’m your drummer for the tour Ray. The tour will end at some point, though it seems endless right now, and I will have to look for another job. And what if I get another tour drummer job? I’m gonna have to travel again. When am I going to be home with my husband to make and raise a baby?"

- "Well… after the tour you could be our studio drummer too, and you can stay in Los Angeles with Matthew and start making babies"- the girl chuckled at those words, though she liked the idea- "You should name your firstborn Ray though, I’ll put that in the contract"- both of them laughed and reached their gate.

- "Kids! Sugar!"- Joey’s smile shone as she gave Frank and Mikey the donuts box.

Gerard looked at her and sighed, thinking he wanted to tell her what he knew about Matthew, but it hurt him to know how much damage it was going to mean for her

- "Hey, Gerard!"- she snapped her fingers in front of him- "This one has your name on it. I figured you’d like a cappuccino cream donut."

- "Thank you"- he felt his cheeks blushing as he held the donut and smiled at Joey- "Sugar low?"

- "Yeah, my body needs some fuel to work until we reach the next hotel, and I can sleep some more."

- "Why? You didn’t sleep well last night?"- Gerard bit his donut and stared at Joey’s cheek turning red.

- "No, I stayed up talking with Matthew until three am."

- "Wow… really? Everything ok?"- Gerard’s heart beat a little faster with those words. She wouldn’t be so happy if she knew what Gubler was doing behind her back. Or did she not care? No, it was more likely she had no idea.

- "Yeah, we just miss each other a lot, and it was his birthday. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, even on FaceTime."

- "His birthday!"- Gerard nodded- "Right, so he didn’t party or whatever?“Smooth dude, good”

- "He did, the night before with some friends from work, he was kind of hungover"- Joey smiled again- "So last night was our moment to celebrate."

- "Dude, please. I don’t wanna picture you and Matthew having phone sex"- Frankie showed up and grabbed Joey’s coffee- "I mean, you, that I can imagine, but him… not so much."

- "Jersey!!"- the girl frowned and smacked him.

- "What?!"

- "Stop being disgusting!"- he chuckled, and she took her coffee back from his hands

- "We all knew what you meant when you said you “stayed up talking with Matthew until three am”- Iero air quoted and laughed again- "We’ve all been there, I’ve been there like three times in the latest weeks."

- "Come on!!!"- Joey smacked him again and walked away. Frank kept laughing for a few seconds and finished his donut.

- "Hey guys, come closer"- Gerard whispered as he noticed Joey had walked away, probably to the bathroom- "I need to tell you something."

- "What?"- Mikey raised an eyebrow as he moved closer ‘cos his brother had whispered.

- "Last night, I was on Twitter, and this picture of Gubler appeared… he… he cheated on Joey at his birthday party."

Gerard had prepared the speech to make sure no one would ever know he had been looking for information about Gubler and saved the picture as proof.

- "What the fuck?"- Mikey grabbed the phone from his brother’s hand and took a look at the picture.

- "Are you sure that’s him?"- Ray moved closer and took a long look at the picture.

- "Yeah! It’s him! He cheated on the party Joey told us he had with his friends"- Mikey was in shock. He walked away and closed his eyes, thinking about Joey and how she would take the news. Frank was so mad. He wanted to kill that guy. He also walked away and murmured curses for a minute straight. Ray couldn’t believe it, and his only concern at the moment was:

- "We have to tell her"

- "How can we tell her that?!"- Mikey pointed at the phone- "We are gonna break her!"

- "He broke her!"- Gerard argued- "He is the one who fucked it up! We are her friends, and we have to let her know what’s going on"- the band stayed quiet, neither of them knowing what to say.

- "Hey kids!"- Joey appeared suddenly smiling- "Why did you all get all serious? Did something happen?"

- "Yeah"- Gerard said, and Frank quickly interrupted him.

- "I ate the last donut and didn’t share it"- the girl raised an eyebrow.

- "Bullshit."

- "No, Gerard wanted it, and it seems I tend to hoard all the sweets…"- Joey frowned at that nonsense.

- "You do"- Mikey supported his lie flawlessly- "You always eat more than us!"

- "Ok… sure…"- Joey walked to a chair and looked at her phone. Mikey turned to his brother and punched his arm.

- "Not here! Don’t be an asshole! We wait until we are in the hotel! You can’t do this in public!"- Gerard felt like an ass. His brother was right. He was so desperate to end that relationship he wasn’t thinking straight.

He wanted to end a relationship that wasn’t even his. What had he turned into? A cold-blooded asshole who craved a girl so much, he was willing to ruin her life to get a chance to be with her?

Mikey was playing with his fingers nonstop. He just wanted to get out of the plane and avoid Joey for a long while. He was thankful the girl was sound asleep next to him ‘cos he knew he wouldn’t be able to pretend things were cool and peachy. Mikey knew he was a lousy liar. He wasn’t going to act like everything was good.

- "Hey"- Frank waved and pointed to the back of the plane. Mikey stood up and followed him, there Ray and Gerard were waiting for them.

- "What is it?"

- "We have to talk about what happened. When are we going to tell her?"- Gerard said, and the four of them looked at each other in silence for a few seconds- "I know it’s crap, but we can’t leave her in the dark about it… can we?"

- "No man"- Frank said and took a look around, scared the girl might see or hear them- "But… she is gonna be a mess, and I don’t wanna feel like we did this to her."

- "He did this to her"- Gerard quickly replied- "This whole shit is his fault."

- "Gubler should tell her"- Iero added. He didn’t feel like he could do such harm to her friend. He was going to harm Gubler, but not Joey.

- "He won’t do that, Frank"- Ray said- "But… I don’t want to be a cold bitch here, but we’ve got the Valencia show in two days, and that shit will be televised… if we tell her… and she wants to leave…"

- "Dude, we can’t wait that long"- Gerard interrupted him.

- "Why not?"- Ray asked, and Way didn’t reply. His honest answer was: “Because I wanna hold her tight and tell her “everything is gonna be ok” as soon as possible. And I also want to ruin Matthew’s life in the shortest notice”.

- "Because if she finds out that we knew and we didn’t tell her, we are gonna pay. She is gonna think we betrayed her"- Mikey answered instead of Gerard, ‘cos he had a reasonable answer.

- "You are right"- Ray nodded- "And that would be hell"- the four of them nodded.

- "So? Tonight?"- Frank asked- "We should get her something…"

- "Like what? Flowers?"- Gerard asked, confused.

- "Like alcohol, chocolate, chick flicks"- Mikey frowned at his brother- "So you never helped a friend when her boyfriend dumped her?"- and Gerard stayed still- "Wow, you can’t cease to amaze me."

- "I didn’t have many girlfriends back in the days"- Gerard explained.

- "Whatever…"

- "Ok, so after dinner, we go to her room"- Frank finished, and they all accepted- "Ok, now let me go to the bathroom ‘cos I need to take a piss, come on, move it."

Ray looked around his room and sighed. He had called Christa and told her what was going on. He felt responsible for Joey’s wellbeing, and at that moment, he was scared of what would happen. His wife was in shock. She couldn’t believe Matthew had done such a thing. She even doubted it was real.

- "Are you sure that the picture isn’t photoshopped?"

- "Yeah!"

- "Really?"- Ray doubted

- "Well, it looked very real to me"

- "Why don’t you ask him?"

- "Yes, honey! He is going to come clean right away!"

- "I mean it, baby! Maybe it wasn’t a party, maybe it was a scene from his coming up film out of context, maybe it was a bad angle."

- "Christa, the tongue of two women were liking him at the very same time unless he is doing porn, there is no way that’s from his upcoming movie!"- Ray made a point, and his wife’s silence made it clear. Now he was walking in circles, trying to set his mind straight. He had never done this before, and shit, he didn’t want to.

The guitarist grabbed the Pride and Prejudice blu ray he had gotten that afternoon and sighed. It was time. He walked out to the hall and into the elevator. Just outside of Joey’s room, he bumped into Mikey and Frank. One held a paper bag with some chocolates and candies, and the other, a whiskey bottle. Of course, the whiskey guy was Iero.

- "Should we wait for Gerard?"- Ray asked

- "Nah"- Frank knocked and waited- "He is always late."

- "And you are always so on time"- Mikey joked and chuckled.

- "Hey! Ready for that movie?"- Joey opened the door smiling- "Say hello to Matthew!!"- the girl flipped her phone, and her boyfriend waved at the band.

- "Hey guys"- but neither of them smiled at him.

- "We are gonna watch a movie"- Joey turned and walked back- "I’ll call you in a while, ok?"

- "Sure, Yami. I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"

- "Have fun"- Joey hung down and looked at her friends, narrowing her eyes, upset- "What the fuck is your problem?"

- "Bug, we need to talk"- the knock on the door interrupted Mikey, but Frank walked over quickly and opened it.

- "We are starting. What did you bring?"- Gerard frowns at that questions

- "You weren’t kidding? We had to bring something? Like a birthday party?"

- "Shit, you are an asshole"- Frank just shook his head.

- "Mikey, Ray? What is it?"- the girl sat on her bed, leg crossed, as Mikey sat next to her and held her hand.

- "Turns out we’ve got some news for you."

- "Am I fired?"- she wide opened her eyes in shock- "I am, right? Fuck I knew this was gonna happen eventually."

- "No, Bug, you are not fired"- Ray sat next to Mikey and smiled- "We are more than happy to have you here, and we would love to have you with us forever."

- "Yeah, Iceland, you are one of us now. Deal with the fact you are doomed"- Frank said and moved closer to the girl to mess with her hair.

- "Then?"- she asked and looked at the four worried faces in front of her- "What is it? ‘Cos it seems serious."

None of them knew how to say it, though each of them had practiced it in front of the mirror. And Gerard, the one who was anxious to say it, suddenly felt the remorse of being the one to break it on Joey’s face. He knew it had to happen, though. That didn’t make it less sad.

- "Joey, last night I found this picture of Gubler’s birthday party on Twitter"- the singer simply said and gave her his phone.

Mikey closed his eyes, and Frank looked down. Neither of them was able to face the girl at the moment. Joey just stared at the screen in silence for at least a minute, holding her breath. There he was, Matthew. Cheating. What she thought was impossible happened. And the most profound pain she could feel took over her body second by second.

Her world fell down. She couldn’t believe it. Matthew was kissing his ex-girlfriend. She recognized her right away, the other girl, she had no idea who she was.

He betrayed her trust. He destroyed her heart, she could feel it breaking inside her chest, with deep aching pain, and it didn’t let her breathe. She wanted everybody out of the room to cry alone. She wanted to smash Gerard’s phone against the wall. And most of all, she wanted to find an explanation, maybe an excuse for that fucking image. It was to be a lie. Matthew would never do that. Never. Thoughts kept rolling down her head. It was a lie. It had to be. Maybe a fan photoshopped it. Perhaps it was old. Maybe it wasn’t Gubs, just a lookalike.

- "Joey…"- Mikey whispered- "Are you ok?"

- "Is that the only picture you saw?"- the girl asked with a cold tone in her voice.

- "No"- Gerard murmured and frowned as he noticed the lack of emotion in Joey’s face

- "Can you send me the pictures, please?"- her voice was turning shaky while she made an effort to stay calm.

Joey hated to cry, and overall, she hated to cry in front of people. She hated when people pitied her, and at the moment, it was all she was feeling coming from her friends. Pity.

- "Bug, it is ok to be sad"- Mikey said and held her hand tight.

- "I’m not sad, I’m mad"- her eyes were filled with tears she refused to cry. Her jaws felt tight. She didn’t even want to talk anymore.

- "Hey, we are here- Ray kneeled in front of Joey and tucked away some of her hair that was falling on her face. He kept his brown eyes in hers, locked, trying to read her reaction. He realized how much she was trying to hold back. He knew his friend pretty well, and he could tell how embarrassed she was to share this with everybody. So he whispered:

- "Joey, do you want to be alone for a little while?"- and she quickly nodded, biting the inside of her cheeks.

- "Dude, we can’t leave her alone!"- Gerard immediately said and hit his friend’s arm. But Ray didn’t leave Joey’s eyes, not even for a second, and she did the same.

- "No, she is going to be ok, we are going to leave her alone for a while, and I am going to take her key, is that ok, Joey?"- the girl nodded again- "Ok, so I’ll take your key. I’ll come back in an hour to see if you need anything, ok?"

Joey couldn’t even say a word, so she nodded one last time and looked at Ray stand up.

- "Dude? What the fuck?"- Gerard was in shock, but Mikey understood immediately what Ray was doing.

- "I love you"- the youngest Way whispered and kissed Joey’s cheek. She got even tenser at his touch. She felt she was going to break into tears if anyone else touched her. So she refused to hug anybody.

- "Bug, if you need a drink, I left your favorite whiskey on the table… I’ll stop by later to have a shot with you, ok?"- Frank whispered and cut her a short smile. She nodded and watched them walk away. Gerard didn’t want to move, he took a few steps closer and opened his arms, but Joey quickly moved from him and frowned, like a frightened cat trying to escape from everything and everybody.

- "Gerard, leave her, she is ok"- Ray grabbed Gerard’s arm and pushed him- "I’ll come back in an hour, Bug"- the girl watched them walking to the door, Gerard kept looking back at her, concerned and scared she wasn’t going to be ok on her own.

- "Dude, this is wrong"- he argued the second they closed the door- "We can’t leave her there! It’s not safe!"- and just then, Joey’s yells crying froze the four of them- "Give me the key!"- Gerard argued and tried to take it from Ray’s pocket.

- "No! She needs to be on her own! She needs to cry, and she is never going to cry in front of us!"

- "What the fuck do you know?"- the singer questioned obfuscated.

- "Calm down, Gee. Ray is right"- Mikey said and sighed- "Joey needs to be alone, she ain’t going to kill herself, she just needs to yell and cry, and probably call that mother fucker and break up with him."

- "Yeah, come on"- Frank tapped on Gerard’s back and started walking- "Let’s get a beer, smoke a cigarette, and we can come back in a while. Ray has the key, so we know she won’t lock herself alone."

Gerard hated his friends at that moment. He had to be there for her, hold her, kiss her, console her. What the fuck was he doing with those guys? She needed him. He had to be with her. Why were they doing this?

- "So you don’t care?"- Gerard squabbled, and Mikey simply sighed.

- "You don’t know how she is like…"- and his brother’s words were enough to insult Gerard and shut him up.

Joey was on her knees on the floor, crying. Gasping for air every few seconds and feeling how every tear in her body came out at the same time. There was a void in her chest, right where it used to be her heart. Matthew Gray Gubler broke her heart. He broke her. All the fears she had locked inside ‘cos Matthew made her trust were now out again, and a voice in the back of her head kept telling her, “You knew this was going to happen if you were stupid enough to trust someone.”

But he was so good for her. How could he do that? Was it something she had done? Was it because she wasn’t there? You can’t be stuck with somebody to keep them from cheating. You don’t cheat. If you are not happy, you break up.

Joey felt sick in her stomach and had to rush to the bathroom. She puked crying, she couldn’t stop doing either of them. She kept choking with tears as she vomited. Until it was done. She flushed and stayed there, on the bathroom floor, crying and shaking in sadness. In fear. In disappointment.

What was she going to do? She had to break up with him. She couldn’t marry a cheater, and she wasn’t going to trust him ever again. Two fucking girls at the same time. What if he had done it before and got caught just now? For how long had he been doing that? What if she was seeing other girls regularly?

- "I knew this was going to happen. You don’t date a guy like that and expect him to be faithful…"- the girl whispered to herself, weeping- "He had nothing to do with a girl like me. Take a look at yourself, you dumb slut!"

Joey never said it out loud. She never let herself think about it. She refused to accept the fact she was weak. She had always hated herself. She felt she wasn’t worthy of anything good. All the years in the orphanage had left more than scars on her skin. They were also in her mind. You don’t spend years watching kids leaving with families and don’t convince yourself you are not good enough to be picked, to be happy. And when a family picks you up, you think it’s not you. It’s pity.

Sure, you can cover it up. You can be serious. You can stay away emotionally from people. You can find shelter in music and hide from the world in it. You can kick people’s ass when they hurt you or insult you. You can lie and say you are not “a people person,” whatever that means. But none of that can erase the fact that you feel alone, unwanted. Worthless.

- "I wanna call this mother fucker and fucking yell at him the kind of scumbag he is!!"- Frank said as he lit another cigarette and took a look at his watch- "She has been alone for half an hour, do you think she is ok?"

- "Of course, she is not ok, but she has to handle it. She is a grown woman"- Ray answered and sipped his beer.

- "I can’t believe he did this to her"- Mikey whispered- "She, of all the women I’ve known, doesn’t deserve to be treated like this."

A few tears filled his eyes, and he quickly wiped them off, lighting a cigarette too.

- "I’m gonna kill him, as soon as we get home, I’m gonna kill this mother fucker. I’ve got his fucking address, I’m gonna get there, and fucking break every bone in his body with my own hands"- Mikey was losing his cool. He stood up and walked around the hotel’s terrace, and looked at the city lighten in front of him. Frank stared at his friends and stood up too.

- "I’m with you, but we can’t be like this in front of her."

- "I know"- Mikey scratched his head and smoked in silence for a few seconds- "I’m not doing press tomorrow,"- he announced- "I’m staying with her all day long."

- "You can’t just…"- but Gerard’s words were lost in the air knowing his brother wasn’t asking, he was letting them know what he was doing.

- "Maybe we could take turns"- Frankie thought out loud- "You stay with her in the morning, Ray stays with her after lunch, and so on"- they all nodded. Gerard felt excited there was a chance he was going to get time alone with her.

- "Let’s see if she approves it first"- Ray said, and Mikey smiled for a second. He could picture Joey arguing she was ok, and him simply just staying with her, not taking no for an answer. She was going to be pissed.

- "Can we please check on her?"- Gerard tried to ask, but in real life, it sounded like he was begging- "I’m worried"- Ray sighed and took a look at his clock

- "Thirty more minutes"

- "Why at the hour?"- the eldest Way questioned

- "‘Cos she has to put her shit together before we come back, and she knows we’ll come back in an hour."

Joey walked around her room, holding a glass of whiskey. Her third glass of whiskey. Her phone was in her hand, and her finger was about to push “dial.”

- "You can do this"- she said to herself. She had cleaned her face, wiped off all the tears, combed her hair, and taken a long time calming herself down. More than anything, she didn’t want Matthew to see her cry. She couldn’t show any weakness to him.

She knew she would never be fully ready to do this, but if not now, when? So she dialed.

- "Hey Yami!! How’s the movie? Is it over yet?"- Matthew’s face filled the screen, and Joey needed a few seconds to put herself together again. His face was too much to handle. She still loved him too much to see him after what had just happened. Maybe FaceTime hadn’t been the best idea.

- "You cheated on me"- she managed to say. Matthew’s heart stopped- "It’s all over Twitter!!! You fucking cheated on me, and you just pretended it was all perfect??!"

Gubler sat on his couch and looked at his mom, who was next to him, reading. She slowly stood up and walked to the other room. He kept his eyes on Joey’s face and held his breath. Why did he think he could hide it from her? Now, what was he going to say? Was he going to deny it? Could he?

- "Yami, I..."

- "Don’t fucking Yami me, Matt"- she spit the last word with disdain, ‘cos she knew how much he hated being called that way- "You lied, you cheated, and you ruined everything!"

- "Joey, please, listen to me"- the young man stood up and started walking around the room, not knowing what to do or what to say.

- "What should I listen to? Do you think you can talk your way out of this?"- Matthew brushed his hand on his face and scratched his hair, confused and scared.

- "Joey, listen, I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything."

- "What? So being drunk is the perfect excuse for me to accept the fact your ex-girlfriend’s tongue was down your throat, and with another girl too? What the fuck?!"

- "Joey, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake!"

- "A “mistake”? How many “mistakes” have you made ever since I left? Tell me."

- "Please, Joey, listen to me. I was drunk, they started dancing, and they kissed me and…"

- "And you fucking took them home and fucked the two of them at the fucking same time. I can picture that very clear, the same fucking bed you said you wanted me to be in."

- "Joey! No!! That’s not what happened!"

- "Then enlighten me, Matthew. Tell me, what the fuck happened?"

Gubler sighed and bit his lips. He didn’t want to tell her, but he knew he had to. She was going to find out the truth one way or another. Maybe if he came clean with her, she would understand. He loved her. She knew that. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake, but it didn’t mean a thing, anything at all.

- "We were at the party, and you called… we talked, and I decided to go home."

- "Sure"- she interrupted sarcastically.

- "Listen, I wanted to go home ‘cos I missed you, but Mark found me and got me a couple of drinks. I was super drunk already when Ann appeared."

- "So you had invited her?"

- "No! No way! I had no idea she was there!"

- "But you got thrilled to see her."

- "I didn’t care! Joey, please, believe me. I was just drunk and stupid, but it didn’t mean a thing!"

- "You fucked her!!"

- "I didn’t fuck neither of them!"

- "There are pictures!! Pictures of you and her and… you were leaving together"

- "We didn’t fuck! Joey, I swear!!"

- "Sorry, but I can’t believe you! I can’t believe a word that’s coming from your lips!"

- "Joey, Yami, baby, love… I swear, I didn’t fuck with them"

- "Then what happened?"

Joey was severe and cold. She had managed not to cry so far, and that made her feel proud. She was devastated and nearly suicidal inside, but she wasn’t going to give Matthew the pleasure of seeing her destroyed because of him. Not that day.

- "Joey… nothing happened."

- "Matthew, if you are going to lie, and I discover that you did…"

- "Ann took me to the back room and decided she wanted to give me a birthday present, so she..." - Joey closed her eyes and threw the phone to the bed.

- "Hijo de la gran puta!! (son of a bitch!!)"- she managed to yell, losing it for a second.

- "It was just a blowjob. Nothing else happened, I swear, Joey! and I stopped her!"- Matthew broke in tears as Joey walked around the room, poured herself another whiskey, and looked at the phone still on her bed.

- "Just a blowjob??! Just a blowjob, Matthew?? Do you fucking believe that shit??"

- "Joey, it meant nothing!!! I didn’t want to do it!!"

- "Bullshit!!"- Joey grabbed the phone again and cut him a look so full of hate Matthew knew he was losing her second by second.

- "Yami, please, I hate myself too, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to undo this!! I was too drunk! I thought it was you, and when I saw her, I stopped it"- Joey scoffed and bit her lips to stop the tears- "I regret everything that happened, it was stupid, and it meant nothing, I fucking love you, Joey, you are my bride! you are my love and my whole life!"

- "No"- she quickly replied.

- "Joey, please."

- "No, Matthew. I am not your bride, and I am not your life, not anymore. I am merely the girl you fucking broke and lied to."

- "Please, please try to understand, it wasn’t me, it was a mistake! I didn’t mean it!!"

- "But it happened, Matthew, and that’s it. You can’t undo it."

- "Please, please! you have to forgive me."

- "Why should I forgive you, Matthew? ‘Cos I love you? Is that enough?"- the girl stopped talking, ‘cos her eyes were filled with tears, and she was still making her best not to cry in front of him. But it was getting too hard. Nearly impossible.

- "Joey, please don’t leave me"- the boy begged, his voice as a whisper at the other side of the line. He was crying like a baby, sobbing and walking around his house, not knowing what to do- "Yami, I need you"- every word that came from his lips cracked each of her already shattered heart into another tiny piece.

- "You should have thought of that before, shouldn’t you?"- the girl answered coldly- "You know how much it took me to trust you, Matthew, how much it took me to give you my heart, to you, for the very fucking first time in my life."

- "Please, please… give me another chance…"- he was sobbing, and Joey couldn’t hold it anymore. She broke into tears in front of him as well.

He looked at her, still thinking there was a chance she could forgive him. He didn’t mean to hurt her. It was a mistake. He loved her. She knew it. What did he have to do to change her mind? To keep her by his side.

- "No"- Joey answered, whimpering- "There are no second chances, Matthew."

- "Please, Joey, I am so so so sorry!"

- "Being sorry doesn’t fix anything."

- "I love you"

- "You didn’t care about that when she sucked your dick, did you?"- Joey managed to say, drying the tears from her eyes- "You just fucking enjoyed it, and fucked with my feelings, ‘cos I wasn’t supposed to know."

- "I love you so much"

- "So what?"- she simply answered- "So I should forgive you ‘cos you love me?"

- "I’d do anything for you."

- "You should have started by not cheating."

Joey took a deep breath and looked at Gubler sobbing at the other side of the line, desperate, honestly desperate

- "Bye, Matthew."

- "No, Joey! Wait! Don’t!"

But that was all Joey could handle. She threw the phone back to her bed and fell on the floor, crying her eyes out again. It was too much for her; she wasn’t going to make this alive. Joey loved him so much, but Matthew had damaged her to the edge of sanity. She was proud she had managed the situation mostly cold-headed. She wanted him. She wanted to forgive him so badly. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t going to believe him ever again.

- "Bug?"- Ray opened the door and found her lying on the bed. Mikey ran to her and held her. She wasn’t crying anymore. She looked in shock. He almost broke into tears next to her, not knowing what to do. She merely blinked. She wasn’t talking. She just laid there, curl up, almost lifeless. Barely alive.

Mikey hugged her tight, lying next to her, trying to keep her warm, ‘cos she kept shaking. Frank wiped off the tears from his eyes as he turned around and poured himself a whiskey.

Gerard looked at the scene from a safe distance while Ray tried to talk to Joey, and Frank started drinking, trying not to show how insanely angry he was. Gerard felt like shit. He didn’t think it would affect him so much. But suddenly, he was feeling guilty. Honestly and deeply guilty. He was the one who found out. He was the one who was eager to tell her. He was the one who told her. And an hour ago, he was excited about it, ‘cos it meant she wasn’t going to be with Matthew anymore. But he was so selfish he never stopped himself from thinking what was going to happen to her. How it was going to affect her. And Gerard felt now like a monster.

- "I’m ok kids"- Joey whispered and cut Ray a slight smile- "I’m just tired."

- "Do you want something to eat?"- he asked, but she shook her head- "I’m gonna leave these chocolates here, ok?"

- "Thank you…"- Mikey kissed the top of her head and snuggled her closer. Her phone kept ringing on the floor. Frank quickly grabbed it. It already had five missing calls from Matthew.

- "This mother fucker is gonna…"

- "Please don’t"- but Joey’s words were useless, Frank picked up, ignoring her.

- "Joey!"- Gubler yelled at the other side of the line.

- "Don’t you fucking dare calling her again!!"- Frank yelled with hate- "You are not getting close to her. You are not talking to her. You are dead! Heard me? You are dead to her, and if you fucking get close to her, I am gonna fucking kill you, heard me? I’m gonna kill you!!"

Frank didn’t even let him reply. He hung down and turned off the phone.

- "Why did you do that?"- Joey whispered and took a deep breath.

- "I’m not gonna let that guy hurt you again"- Frank murmured as he kneeled by the bed and kissed her temple sweetly- "Never, I’m not gonna let him make you cry or break your heart again, ok?"

Frank’s words were so full of honesty and emotion, even his voice shook. Tears fell from his eyes, and Joey stared at him in shock. He cared that much for her. It was shocking to realize how much they all cared for her.

- "Thank you, Frank"- he smiled

- "Hey, whatever you need"- he smiled shyly- "Now make room"- the girl and Mikey moved, as Frank crawled on the bed next to her. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head as Mikey laid at the other side of her, still cuddling her.

Gerard stared at the scene and wondered how they could just do that, it was what he wanted to do, but he could not move from where he was standing.

- "Wanna watch a movie?"- Ray grabbed the remote control- "Let’s see what we can find"- he knew Pride and Prejudice wasn’t right for the moment, so he tried to find the most random movie he could in pay per view. Die Hard was the chosen one. He and Gerard laid on the bed with the others and didn’t say another word. The girl wanted to be alone, but she knew they weren’t going to let her. It felt good in a way, knowing they cared about her and wanted to be with her at that dark moment.

Matthew was crying, sitting on his bed. He didn’t seem to be able to stop the tears from falling. He held the phone and dialed over and over again. It was off. The wedding was off. His whole life was off at that point. He had made the biggest mistake, and now he knew he couldn’t fix it. But he had to. He wanted to.

- "Yami, please, I’m so sorry"- he talked with her voicemail- "I need you to forgive me, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want to, it was a mistake"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Yami, I can’t live without you, I can’t, I swear, please, I’m so sorry, I’d do anything you want, anything, but please, please"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Please… Joey, I love you so much, I need you so much, I..."

- "Honey"- his mother whispered as she walked into his room and found him weeping on the phone.

- "She left me, mom"- he whispered and felt her arms around him- "She broke up with me"- he couldn’t say another word ‘cos the tears, and the sobbing didn’t let him talk. His mother kissed his temple and hugged him tightly.

- "You are gonna fix this, baby. It’s gonna be ok."

- "How?"- he managed to murmur.

- "She loves you so much, she is going to forgive you. I know she will."

- "I hurt her mom. She doesn’t deserve this... I don’t deserve her… she is an angel, and I ruined it"- Matthew couldn’t say another word. He just hid his head on his mother’s neck and cried.

Taglist

@all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

#Gerard Way #Matthew gray gubler #mgg angst #mikey way #frank iero #ray toro #mcr #mgg #babymetaldoll writes

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stellekissu · 2 years

Text

Series y películas BL 2024

CAMBOYA

Eye contact (មើលបាន ហាមសម្លឹង) My Croissant (បេសដូង) The Bartender

CHINA

Blue time Couple or Not Guardian of the Lands Couple Or Not Liuyi Children’s Day Mou Mou My Family Won Lottery (B) ➨ The Spirealm [Febrero] S.C.I S2 Guardians of The Lands 垂涎Desire

COREA

About Desire Acting Lovers ➨ Actor:eal [Marzo] Aquaman Ambiguous Bermuda Triangle Bizarre Romance Blossom Campus Boys Be Brave [Abril] ➨ Jazz for two [Marzo] Blueming 2 Boarding house number 5 Business As Usual Choco Milk Shake (S2) Comfort The Boy Each Other’s Circumstances Eccentric Romance Eul's Love Gray currents ➨ Gray Shelter [Abril] Half a Kiss & Half a Spice ➨ Happy ending [Enero] Heesu In Class 2 I A Gangster Became A High Schooler I Love You I Kill You I wanna bite Kang Baek Ho Killing Stalking Kissable Lips (S2) Like ➨ Love for Love's Sake [Enero] Love in spring Love in the Big City ➨ Love Is Like A Cat [Abril] Love Is Puppy Like Love supremacy zone Love Weather Forecast Lying My Bias Is Showing?! No alcohol Ocean likes me Our song (P) ➨ Please Teach Me [Marzo] Skam Space Bakery Strongberry Tinted With You (P) Unintentional Love Story’s spin off Where Your Eyes Linger (P) Who Can Define Popularity? 태권도의저주를풀어줘

FILIPINAS

➨ Baka Pwade pa? [Enero] Cheat the series (S2) ➨ Kung Nag-Aatubili [Marzo] Love team (S2) Oh my Gee! Perfect Blend Sashes and Heart The Day I Loved You (S2) The Perfect Heartbreak

HONG KONG

Eyes on you

JAPÓN

A Man Who Defies the World of BL 3 [Abril] ➨ Although i love you and you? [Enero] ➨ At 2500 in Akasaka [Abril] Baban Baban Ban Ban Vampire (P) BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu Boys love omegaverse (P) Can I Buy Your Love from a Vending Machine? Let's Eat Together, Aki and Haru 2 [Junio] ➨ Living with Him [Abril] ➨ Love is Better the Second Time Around [Marzo] ➨ My strawberry film [Febrero] ➨ Ossan's Love Returns (S3) [Enero] ➨ Ossan's Love Returns: Haruta to Maki no Shinkon Shoya (P) [Enero] ➨ Perfect Propose [Enero] Sensei no Otoriyose What She Likes

MYANMAR (Birmania)

➨ Healing Thingyan [Marzo] ➨ Khar Taw Mi (ခါတော်မီ)* (P) [Abril]

SINGAPUR

Boys desire spare money (P) Getaway Straight Best Friend

TAILANDIA

➨ 2 worlds [Marzo] 4 Minutes ➨ 1000 Years old [Febrero] A Secretly Love [Febrero] Adicted After sun down (P) [Enero] All this Allure of the Siren Art Adore En Bad Guy My Boss Battle of the writers (รักใต้บรรทัด) BBQ Boy Be my boyfriend 2 Beating Again Better sweet Big Dragon (P) Bittersweet Born To Be Y Boxe Ring Love Boy Never Smiles Buddy LineY Animal Caged Again Call My Name Checkout (P) ➨ City of stars [Enero] Cinderella boys ➨ Close Friend 3: Soju Bomb [Marzo] Dear Dopamine ➨ Deep Night [Marzo] Dubsangrawee (P) End Love Every U Eye contact Flirt Milk Four ever you project Future from me Goddess bless you from path HBaYG the Series Heart by heart Heroin The Series Hidden moon High School Frenemy (B) Home school I feel you linger in the air (S2) I Saw You in My Dream Imado Jinja Series Intern In My Heart Jack & Joker [Abril] Jump Khemjira Must Survive Kidnap King Of Bar Host Kiseki In Tokyo Chapter 1 [Febrero] ➨ Kiseki In Tokyo Chapter 2 [Marzo] Knock Knock, Boys! ➨ Lady boy friend [Marzo] Let Me Be Yours (P) Likay Live in love Lost in the Woods Love at first sight Love Mer Man Love sea Love Puzzle Love sick 2024 [Julio] Love Syndrome: The Beginning Love Upon A Time Love You in Every Multiverse [Febrero] Lovely Addict Magic (มายากาล) Me and Who ➨ Memory in the Letter [Abril] Midnight fortune Monster Next Door My Broccoli My doctor My Engineer (S2) My furry love My Golden Blood My Love Mix-Up My lucky cat My Secret Love My single My Stand In [Abril] Mystique In The Mirror Nilundon OMG vanpire ➨ Only Boo [Marzo] Ossan's Love Thailand Our Love Destiny Partner In Crime Past Love In The Future Past to your voice Peaceful Property (B) Perfect10 Liners Personal Manager Pit babe 2 Project S Punk spy Red Peafowl Revamp: The Undead Story Rule No.1: Don't Be Too Emotional #อย่าขอพี่เจน SapanPhoon Season of the lost forest Second Chance (P) Shine Spirit Reborn Something In The Wind Spare Me Your Mercy Status Sunset Vibes Sweet Tooth Good Dentist ➨ To be continued [Febrero] Thame - Po The beginning of the journal The Boy Next World The Ex Morning The First Step: Heart By Heart The Heart Killers The hidden moon [Septiembre] The Hidden Night (P) The Middle Mans Love The moment of love The Next Prince ➨ The Outing [Febrero] The promise (S2) The Rebound ➨ The Star [Marzo] The theory The Trainee The Victory Academy The yearbook This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans ➨ Time [Enero] Tin is willing... Troublemaker True moon Universad Universe of love Wall of Dawn Wandee Wittaya Wandee Goodbay [Mayo] Watter boy: The splash - Who gonne be that boyy What The Nomg? What to be in your mind ➨ We are [Abril] When Hia Says He Doesn't Like Children Wish Me Luck Wuju Bakery Y destiny (S2) You're my favorite Your Dear Daddy ➨ Your Necktie is Crooked* (P) [Marzo] Your sky Zomvivor เดือนพราง ปรุงรักให้ลงล็อก

TAIWÁN

A Balloons Landing (P) First Note Of Love Impression: Youth Let’s Talk About Chu Light Meet You At The Blossom Pray The only one The Time Of Huannan (環南時候) [Mayo] ➨ Unknown [Febrero]

VIETNAM

➨ Be you super star [Marzo] Melody in Me RIN Start Shining: The First Season Under The Oak Tree [Abril]

#China #Corea #Japón #Tailandia #Taiwán #Camboya #Laos #Hong Kong #Vietnam #Myanmar #BL2024 #2024 #Series #Películas

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sukiglycerin · 3 years

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starless fairy tales || keigo takami, katsuki bakugou.

* pairing: keigo takami (hawks) x reader x katsuki bakugou (gender neutral!)

* genre: it’s a sandwich: angst on the top, fluff in the middle, and angst at the end :) not fantasy DLKFSF IM SORRY

* words: 5.2k, somehow

* warnings: angsty, reader is wary of hawks at first, tokyo skytree!! so don’t read if you’re terribly afraid of heights, a reference to blood for a small metaphor, a reference to the league of villains ;P, cliffhanger ending that i’m not sure i’ll resolve

* original request from @bien-sur: hey, saw you wanted requests and I read through some of your work, really loved the Hawks one shot!! i’m a sucker for enemies who make out. i’m feeling angsty so uh maybe, if you want, a bakugo one-shot where he kind of uh cheats on the reader...? or maybe just hurts her feelings very badly? maybe the reader feels numb for a while but is comforted by Keigo, and the reader realizes they deserve better? so sorry if this is out of your comfort zone or it’s dark content(?) anyways I like your writing so i’ll read a few more of your works before going to bed :)) thank you, i appreciate u taking the time to do requests regardless of whether you do mine :)

* a/n: ENEMIES TO LOVERS IS SUPERIOR!! i was so excited to write an enemies piece with hawks. this showcases the soft, kind side of hawks so i hope you enjoy it !! thank you sooo much for being so kind in your request! this request is completely fine. i added much more plot than i’d expected, and learned sooo much about tokyo skytree. i couldn’t do infidelity because it hurts me too much and i love bakugou too much. i tried to keep the angst.,., but happy birb..,., this might become a multi-chap fic, as i do have a plot jumbled in my head because of the cliffhanger, and i’d like to develop more aspects of your request! for now, it’s up to your interpretation! biggest thing i got out of this: i now really, really want to go to tokyo skytree.

* synopsis: you had a fairy tale love with bakugou until your prince became the villain for vague reasons. in a moment of serendipity, you find a new prince, hawks, who just might take you high enough to reach the stars you’d so longed for. sometimes your dreams are only a train ride and a couple elevator trips away.

love was like a fairy tale. at least, that’s what you’d believed. love, with its ornate leather cover and soft golden embellishments. the pages would be worn but so cherished; the black ink printed in a pretty font, telling of charming words and whispered promises under the shining moonlight and twinkling stars. it was supposed to be your security, a castle hidden in the lush forest away from the horrors of the world. your castle would hold you and bakugou for an eternity, kept away in the pages of a pretty love story.

alas, even the strongest of castles fall, and the most beautiful of forests mangle. yours just happened to be a bit quicker. contrary to the illusion bakugou had painted in your fairy tale, your castle was not of stone nor brick nor iron. it was not of anything but sand, waiting for its turn to be washed away by the sea. your castle slipped through your fingers; the once elaborate stronghold now swept into the depths of the cerulean sea. what had once been painted seashells of wondrous hues and crystals that illuminated the night were now pebbles and corroded versions of things that had once been. it had slipped through your fingers so easily without a passing thought; now here you were, in your deserted kingdom, playing the fool.

like the sand past your fingers, love had once come easy for you and bakugou. it was always there, drifting in the air as you walked or swirling above your heads while you bickered. love was supposed to be easy, like how your hand just fit in bakugou's as if sculpted after many lives with him. love was supposed to be easy, like how bakugou aced his tests in school and nonchalantly taught you math so you wouldn't have to attend cram school. love was supposed to be easy, like how it had been for forever with bakugou. but your fairy tale was now coming to a close, velvet curtains falling and pages turning to dust.

you wondered if there were any fairy tales on the shelves of books bakugou had. contrary to popular belief at ua, bakugou was an avid reader. it was clear by the shelves that lined the wall in his dorm and the stacks of unread books on his nightstand. you never touched them, though bakugou had said you were free to pick them up whenever you wanted. the only time you’d touched a book from his bookshelf was when he pushed a book of yosano akiko’s to you.

the colored spines of the books on his shelf in your shared apartment all blurred like paint on a palette as you stared at them, bakugou’s voice becoming a fading afterthought.

“y/n? y/n, please…” the voice which had so held you in its tight warmth went cold and unfamiliar. a light flickered out in your castle, and so started the crumbling.

“say…” you started, your throat clogged with disbelief, “it again.”

“please, don’t make me…” his voice trailed off. you could feel his deep scarlet eyes trained on you. “i just…. i’m not in love with you anymore, y/n.” his voice cracked. “you’ve got to understand. please.”

your hand trembled in your lap, your vision shifting out of focus like a faulty camera.

“i tried to feel something, i really did. but…. i can’t.”

“how- how long?” your voice shook.

he paused. “a month… or two, by now?” he reached out to take your hand in his, but it no longer felt right. it was as if his hand was no longer yours to hold. you tensed, moving your hand away.

a light went out in his eyes as he understood and receded his hand. a tower fell in your castle.

“okay,” you said, turning away from him. tears dripped down your face silently and you quickly wiped them away with your sleeve. you stood up from the couch. “i’ll get my things,” you hollowly said, walking toward your shared room with him.

“you don’t need to,” bakugou said. the voice emitted from his throat was no longer his, but the shadow of a stranger’s. “not this fast, at least. don’t force yourself.”

“what makes you say that?” you snapped a bit too harshly. “sorry,” you added quietly.

packing your things was a numbing process. you left the photos of him and you on his nightstand, on top of his pile of unread books. you shoved it all in a backpack you had lying around; your clothes, your phone, your books. you took one last glance around the room and left. bakugou was still sitting on the couch wordlessly, not bothering to say farewell to you as you opened the door and walked out. not that you would’ve responded anyway.

you realized you may have made a miscalculation as you stood cluelessly in the lobby of the apartment building. you had nowhere to go. you fumbled with your phone in your backpack and pulled up your contacts. you knew of no one in your contacts who’d let you stay; they were either on vacation or far away. in truth, bakugou was your closest friend since childhood. he was your map, your guide, your destination; where were you without him?

the wind brushed your cheek as you stood outside the entrance, watching cars pass. the world felt so big compared to the mere side character of you, who buildings loomed over like menacing shadows. it was a somewhat comforting moment, being an alone speck in the grand scheme of things. like this, it was for only a moment you’d forgotten why you were out here in the first place. you’d forgotten the warm feeling that once nestled itself in your heart, instead enraptured by the freeing breeze that rustled in it.

red. then a breeze. that’s all you saw, eyes widening and stepping back. a man no older than you stood in front of you, hands in his pockets. vermillion wings protruded from somewhere on his back, arcing slightly over the man.

“heyyy….” he said lazily, shadows falling on his face. you started walking backward, hands discreetly feeling for the door behind you. “wait! i’m a pro-hero, i swear! i’m hawks, look it up!” he lifted his hands up in surrender, backing away from you.

“who…. what do you want?” you asked cautiously, hand on the doorknob behind you.

he sheepishly scratched the back of his head, laughing nervously. “i, uh…. got lost…. tokyo’s such a big place, y’know?”

“where are you from?” you couldn’t really discern anything of an accent on him, other than a slightly rougher tone of speaking.

“kyushu, fukuoka…” he gestured vaguely. that explained the slight accent. “i’m in tokyo for a bit of work. business trip, y’know how it goes. haven’t visited tokyo in a while, honestly. what’s a good place for a bite? a bird is starving.”

“uh… there’s a place down the street to the right…” off the top of your head, you pointed out a cafe you and bakugou had frequented.

“it doesn’t have chicken wings, does it?” hawks asked.

“chicken…?” you looked from him to his wings. “no, sorry.”

“don’t sweat it! ‘s fine. hey, i might as well treat you for wasting your time. where’re you heading off to? i could pay for a cab, if you gotta go.”

“ah, thank you....” you said bashfully. “i’m not really in a rush anywhere.”

“really?” he looked excited, innocently so, almost like a puppy. “can i treat you to something?”

“uh… sure,” you replied, strengthening your grip on your backpack. “sure.”

“great! off we go, m’liege!” he pointed toward the cafe and started marching. he was a sight to behold on the street, red wings standing out a mile away. you followed somewhat reluctantly, grabbing your phone to google exactly who the pro-hero “hawks” was. the name sounded vaguely familiar, but you weren’t one who knew their heroes. yeah, it was definitely him; what was your luck, meeting such a famous pro-hero on the street after being dumped by the love of your life?

he hummed a tuneless melody, turning to the cafe. he held the doorknob waiting for you, opening the door for you first. the homey cafe was decently packed for lunchtime, the quiet chatter of people filling the atmosphere. the scene reminded you of so many other times you'd gone here with bakugou; it gave you chills as you stood next to hawks.

"hey," hawks said quietly. "you okay? you seem tense."

you gulped and shook your head. "nah, i'm fine. just thinking about what to eat," you lied.

he nodded, seeming to buy into the lie. stepping toward the menu, he said, "the toasted sandwiches look good."

"uh huh," you agreed absentmindedly. your attention was on the bout of people who'd turned to look at hawks, some snapping pictures on their phones. he did stand out pretty well with his wings.

"'scuse me-!" a little girl, no more than 6 or 7, approached the hero. she had a distinctive accent; it was slightly hard to understand her. "can i 'ave a photo with ya?" her eyes got all round. "yer my big brother's favorite hero!"

"'course, darlin'," hawks smiled. his voice somewhat mimicked hers, his dialect becoming apparent.

once he'd taken a photo with her, more and more people started following suit, crowding him. you stood awkwardly to the side. some people didn't even know who he was, from what you could tell. you debated ordering a latte and leaving, but decided it'd be unfair to hawks. he was kind to everyone he interacted with, unlike most celebrities who just wanted fame and disregarded others.

after some time, the crowd finally dispersed, leaving you and hawks together.

he glanced at his watch. “ah, sorry, that took a while…” he apologized. “do you have somewhere to be? i must’ve held you up…”

“nah, don’t worry about it.” you waved him off. “i, uh, actually… was just dumped by my boyfriend…” you nervously shuffled your feet. “i don’t really have a place to stay at the moment… so i’m free the entire day, i guess.” you laughed nervously.

he blinked at you, bird-like eyes wide. “you must be starving.”

you felt your face warm and you laughed - this time, a real, genuine laugh that was a missed sensation against your tongue. “yeah. yeah, i am.”

“hey, dove.” his voice suddenly got close to you, gentler. “you’re crying.”

“oh…?” you felt your cheek with the pad of your thumb. “sorry. i have tissues in my backpack, hang on…” you unzipped the front pocket and started to rummage blindly through your belongings, groping for something vaguely feeling like a packet of tissues.

“here,” he said, handing you a tissue. you turned to him gratefully, accepting the tissue and wiping your face.

“it’s just… weird,” you said after a pause. “he’s been there all my life - my ex, i mean.” ex. such a strange name for the man you so adored; ex, crossing off the relationship you thought you’d built with him.

hawks nodded, guiding you to a booth in the cafe.

you continued, “sorry. you probably didn’t want to hear this today… you’re busy with your hero duties and whatnot.”

“don’t worry ‘bout it, feather,” he reassured you. “he didn’t kick you out, did he?”

“oh, no,” you clarified quickly. “i… left,” you said, abashed. “i shouldn’t’ve been so sudden, but… it was an instinct thing.”

“why’d he do it so suddenly?” hawks asked. “you didn’t see it coming, right?”

“no, i didn’t… but maybe i should’ve…” you think about the part couple months with bakugou. nothing seemed different - you’d gone on dates like normal and spent time together like a couple that loved each other. his interest in you never faltered and nor did the sparkle in his eyes dull; what had happened? what had gone so wrong?

you realize the silence that’s fallen between you and hawks. the hero was looking at the menu behind you intently.

“ham and cheese…” he muttered to himself. “no, teriyaki… so yummy… with coffee…” he suddenly seemed aware of your eyes staring at him. “oh, what did you want to eat?”

“i’ll probably have the teriyaki,” you said. it was your go-to sandwich choice at the cafe. you reached for your backpack to retrieve your wallet, but hawks stopped you.

“let me,” he said. “i already caused you so much inconvenience.”

“ah, okay…” you said meekly. “thank you.”

he shrugged. “what wouldja like to drink?”

“uh… orange juice,” you said.

“alright!” he saluted you. “your wish is my command.” he got up to order, pulling out his wallet from his pocket. the cashier was particularly animated talking to him, initiating a conversation about aerodynamics with the pro-hero from what you could hear.

he returned with the sandwiches (made at the fastest time you swore you’d seen them prepare food) and set yours in front of you.

“let’s dig in!” hawks said, biting into his sandwich. you agreed, taking a bite of yours as well.

“what’s your name, by the way?” he said in between bites. “i don’t think i ever asked.”

“y/n,” you said.

“pretty,” he commented. “i’m hawks.”

“i know,” you blurted. “i googled it.”

“you did?” his pupils widened. “what’d it say??”

“uhh…” you pulled out your phone, finding the tab you used to google hawks. you turned your screen to him.

he studied the screen. “not fond of that angle,” he mused to himself. “so, why’d your boyfriend dump you?”

you were taken aback by his candor. “he… said he didn’t love me anymore,” you admitted.

“all of a sudden? out of the blue?”

you shook your head. “he said he’d tried to endure it for a while.”

“how long?”

“a month or two,” you sighed, thinking about the sight of him sitting dejectedly on the couch this morning.

“he didn’t say anything before that?” hawks gasped. “the nerve. how long have you been together?”

“four… or five years now?” you’d been dating him since your days at ua, even when most high school romances - between childhood friends, no less - were especially rocky. he was your promised forever.

“and he gives up after two months?” hawks set his sandwich down. “wow. some boyfriend.”

“i think there was something more to it,” you said thoughtfully. “we’ve known each other for a long…”

“you still love him, don’t you?”

“i mean… yeah….” you hadn’t given it much thought; bakugou was a habit your heart couldn’t stop thinking about. it was like depriving your heart of oxygen: foreign and wrong. “i do.”

“i’m sorry, dove,” he said.

“your sandwich will get cold,” you said in an attempt to divert the conversation topic.

“you’re right.” he picked up his sandwich and started eating again, eyes still on you. “this place has good food.”

you hummed in agreement, distracted by the cars going by outside the window.

“where will you stay?” he asked, halfway done with his sandwich.

hawks voiced the concern plaguing your subconscious from the moment you stepped out of bakugou’s apartment building. it was definitely not the most thoroughly well-thought out plan, and you didn’t want to come back knocking on his door in the night. besides, you weren’t sure if you could stand being there again, in the presence of a liar and someone who felt so foreign to you. you wondered how much you truly didn’t know about bakugou; were there any other lies he’d blossomed behind your back?

you knew you might be able to stay at a hotel for a couple nights, but not for long. going back to bakugou’s place… as much as you so dreaded the mere thought, you knew it might be your absolute last resort.

“i’m not sure,” you finally replied truthfully. hawks appeared to have come to a conclusion of sorts.

“tell ya what,” he said, leaning forward slightly. “explore tokyo with me.” he took a bite of his sandwich. continuing, he said, “‘s not often the commission puts me in the big city. i’m off today, so…”

the offer was somewhat bizarre, but what did you have to lose? you agreed, under the terms you wouldn’t be out too late. as you walked out the door, you greeted the cool outside breeze with the hope this would help you put the past behind you.

walking through tokyo with a pro-hero proved harder than it sounded. for one, people kept approaching hawks; after all, he was like a walking light-up sign that said “LOOK AT ME!” with the size and color of his wings. after every time a fan asked hawks for an autograph, he sheepishly apologized to you, and offered two autographs to you. you always laughed and declined; the trip was a reward in itself, you supposed. each acquaintance made you appreciate all the responsibilities of a pro-hero. he was charming, though. he really was, so you didn’t mind.

“skytree! let’s go there!” was the first thing hawks had said walking out of the cafe. you’d been to the skytree a couple of times in your childhood, and it was a nice memory; the tall building stretching, touching the tip of the sky. your parents had told you that stardust flecked the very top of the skytree, for it was so tall. you’d never actually reached the highest floor; it felt like a distant fantasy, as you’d always get tired before reaching the top or circumstance would interfere.

it was a five minute walk to the nearest station, and it’d be another forty or so to skytree. hawks didn’t seem to mind, though, happily promenading down the street like a kid in a candy shop. he pointed excitedly to random buildings that you hadn’t given a second thought about and rambled about the facts he knew about skytree with an accent tingeing his words more than usual. he reminded you very much so of a child going on a field trip, and his giddiness only boosted yours.

“we’re here!” his eyes glistened with anticipation when you reached the station. you’d visited the station dozens of times, but looked at it with a new light when you realized how excited hawks was. “i’ll pay; i dragged you here,” he said immediately when you started to pay for tickets.

“really, i can’t-” you started, but he cut you off.

“let me. it’s my off day! please.” he took the two tickets he paid for. “here.”

“i don’t really have a choice, do i?”

“nope!” he was already walking away, smiling back at you and waving his ticket.

“hey- wait!” you started running after him. “wrong way!”

forty minutes later, two transfers, and one circle around the station in pursuit of skytree, you stood at the entrance of the tokyo skytree. hawks’ mouth watered at the sight of the line of restaurants in the breezeway you’d passed prior, and you had to stop him from ordering the seasonal special from mcdonald’s before turning to skytree.

“but you just ate!” you exclaimed as he stared longingly at the ice cream being advertised on a poster.

he pouted. “but i’m hungry…”

you took his hand (which momentarily shocked him) and guided him to the entrance. it was a bit crowded, but not overtly so. hawks was looking everywhere once you’d entered; darting from here to there, sometimes carrying small souvenirs or drinks when returning to you. you were out of energy by the time you’d reached floor 340, though hawks told you there were only 29 floors total and the name was referencing the height. it certainly didn’t feel like an exaggeration, your feet dragging on the ground as you stepped out of the oddly fast elevator.

you begged hawks to let you rest at the cafe you saw. the cafe felt like a little oasis of tranquility, uncrowded on contrary to the other floors. it was relaxing as you stared outside the window and up at the sky. it brought you to your parents words of stars and magic, though something as modern as the skytree must be strange to intermingle with magic. in the moment you were suspended; the still sky surrounding you and the ever-moving cars below. you swore you could just reach the clouds in front of you and float, so serenely in an eternal bubble of quietude to yourself. everything else was forgotten in that moment; things were the way they always were. it was always you, in the end.

after leaving the cafe, you watched people stand on glass flooring overlooking everything below. some jumped on the glass, while some frightenedly stuck a foot on the glass and jumped back.

“quite the view, huh?” hawks mumbled with a mouth stuffed full with chocolate cake. “i usually have to fly so far to get this view.”

you nodded. “it’s amazing...”

“so… where d’you wanna go after this?” he asked you.

“actually…” your thoughts went back to the stories your parents told you. “can we go up to floor 455?”

he showed a hint of surprise on his face. “really? i know we bought the tickets to do it, but if you’re tired, we can just go down.”

“no…” you cleared your throat. “it’s been something i really wanted to do.”

he took this answer and smiled, grasping your hand. “let’s walk into the sky!”

the train ride back did not go as smoothly as you hoped. the adrenaline of being 450 meters in the air had worn itself out, and the pitting realization that bakugou was no longer yours dawned on you. the sapphire sky in your fairy tale story seemed so far now, stars shattering and crumbling. you reached for a piece of a star, but each piece dissolved above your head, light that would never reach you.

“feather,” hawks said quietly. the intense look in his eyes looked like he was building up to something important.

“yeah?” you asked. you fixated on him.

“do you want… a badtz-maru eraser?”

you stared at the spiky-haired penguin in the palm of hawks’ hand.

“sure…?” you said. hawks happily plopped the eraser into your hand.

“feather,” he said again in the same tone. “you should visit bakugou, you know. tonight, to make things straight with him.”

that was what he was building up to. bakugou. you hadn’t dwelled much on the thought of the man; the skytree filling most of your thoughts for the day. but it was still light out.

“i know,” you replied softly, looking down at your fingers. these were the hands that held your heart as you gave it to bakugou, the hands that bakugou held tenderly for so many days and nights. they were the same hands that held your heart now, returned by bakugou shattered and clinking to the ground. the rest of the train ride was silent.

you could now hear your thoughts echoing around the train compartment, deflecting off walls and still making their way to your heart. you wondered what words were left unsaid by bakugou, painful truths untold hidden in the recesses of his heart. you wondered if he remembered how he’d first nervously asked you on a date in high school, words rough but fingers softly fidgeting with each other. it was in may, near the end of the day. he shoved a small box of chocolates towards you, muttering something about “weird hair” making him do it. he’d aggressively stuttered his way through a confession, barely making eye contact with you. the memory brought a fluttering to your heart, but with it came a sore pain for the first time. you wondered if he felt the same or if he was just numb, like how he now felt about you. what did it feel like to fall out of love?

you wondered if he remembered the many times he’d walked you home (only for your sake, of course, not anything else). you wondered if he remembered how fondly he looked at you then. his heart was on his sleeve during those times, the perpetual blush on his cheeks disclosing his very vulnerable feelings towards you.

even on the most draining of days, bakugou would always be there for you. even if his eyelids were closing upon their own accord and legs were sore from a day’s work, he made it a point to be there for you. while children might’ve had their security blankets, you had bakugou. your heart dropped realizing those days of coming home to bakugou were gone.

what had happened? now, you were alone on a train that felt so cold and without the love that had so warmed your heart. why had things ended up like this? why did you numb bakugou’s feelings so? the wave was slow at first, but once it had reached the shore, your tears fell hot and unyielding as you toppled off the edge of being okay.

hawks was by your side wordlessly, a wing around you and leaning you close to him. the feathers were soft. you cried unabashedly in his embrace, sniffling as he soothed you. you tried to say thank you, but all that came out was another sob.

your feet, on instinct, took you to bakugou's apartment without any problem. it could’ve been any other day; you, coming back to the apartment after running errands. it was your hand that hesitated as it hovered an inch away from the wood of the door, the only sign that something had changed. you liked to pretend it hadn’t. you wished that when you’d open the door, you’d hear a light chatter from the tv and a familiar voice saying, “welcome home, idiot.” you wished that the air that enveloped you as soon as you opened the door was that of liveliness and comfort, of warm orange and yellow hues. you wished that the atmosphere didn’t feel so dead, dull, and musty; you wish it hadn’t drowned in shades of blue and gray. you wished you didn’t have the key to the apartment still.

you wished that bakugou would say something, anything, rather than sit on the couch with his head bowed. you wished that you didn’t miss him so much and that you had him, all at the same time. you wished you turned back as soon as you heard the knob click and pushed open the door; you wished not to see all that you had in what was once your apartment.

you wished you didn’t revel in his presence next to you on the couch. you wished you didn’t almost lean into his touch because he was your home, and you wished your eyes didn’t well up the way they had. you wished to have sat in that silence for a while then up and gone; you wished he hadn’t said anything at all.

“hey, idiot,” was a cracky and raspy thing coming out of his mouth, words familiar but so foreign at the same time.

“hey,” was what you whispered back, quiet enough for only you to hear.

“where’d you go?” but it wasn’t a question, just a fragile plea devoid of hope.

“skytree,” and you felt you’d break the mood.

“did you reach the top?” his response surprised and killed you at the same time.

“yeah,” you said quietly. “i did.”

“alone?”

“i could never alone.”

“who…?”

“met a pro-hero by chance.”

“your true hero, huh?” it was a bitter tone, venom biting you.

“no,” and your heart sunk because it was the truth.

he scoffed. getting up from the couch, he said, “you forgot something.”

your eyes followed him as he disappeared into your once shared room. he returned quite fast, as if you’d left it on the dresser, carrying a decorated shoebox. you’d almost forgotten about it entirely, eyes wide as nostalgia hit you.

it was a memory box you’d made the last year of high school. it was supposed to be for school memories, but it really just became a box of mementos of bakugou. you could barely see the contents inside, too busy trying to hold back the tears in your eyes. you thumbed through photos and polaroids of you and him, some with his friends and some with yours. oh, what you’d give to have those times back. though it was all blurred, you could feel the moments so vividly: feel the cool summer breeze and hear the sound of people conversing with each other at a festival; hear mina’s excited ramblings and bakugou’s grumbling at the supermarket; smell caramel and vanilla at a movie night, pressed against bakugou’s body warmth. you dropped the photos back into the box and picked up a scorched pencil. a pressed rose. a neatly folded sheet of notes you’d sent back and forth with bakugou during class.

and then it was all gone, shutting the box.

“keep it.” you regretted the words as soon as they left your lips, but you wouldn’t take them back. you handed him the box, staring at the floor and wiping your wet eyes. the memories were no longer yours to keep.

bakugou was silent, taking the box and leaving to his room to put it away.

“is that all?” you tried to make your voice sound strong, impatient. like you had better places to be without him. you hoped he couldn’t tell how it was more of a beg to stay.

“yeah.” cold. emotionless.

you stood for another second, looking around. everything seemed different, as if the glass which surrounded your universe had shattered. “bye, katsuki.”

“bye.”

your footsteps were light, but each step felt weighed by metal weights. you wished he stopped you from leaving. you wished you looked back at him. you wished you weren’t crying.

you shut the door quietly, weakly, behind you. it all came out in the hallway, tears and desperate sobs. you prayed he couldn’t hear you; but you knew, even if he did, he wouldn’t care anymore. he was numbed, no longer the firework you’d known.

“hawks,” it came as a quiet plea as you felt for your phone and dialed his number. he gave it to you right before you walked into bakugou’s apartment.

“please pick up, please pick up,” you muttered, trying to wipe the tears from your cheeks as quickly as they came.

“hey, birdie? are you okay?”

“hawks,” you sobbed. “hawks, no, i’m not.”

“hey, are you still at the apartment building? i’ll be right there, chickadee, alright?”

you nodded, sniffed, then said meekly, “yeah.”

“stay on the line. talk to me, birdie.” his voice was soothing.

“hawks, it hurts, everything.” you felt as though you were pouring out your heart, spilling scarlet on the carpet. “hawks.” tears dropped onto the carpet. “hawks.” your knees almost gave in.

“what floor are you on, dove?”

“third,” you hiccupped.

“i’m right there, feather.” you saw hawks emerge from the stairwell. his hair looked windblown. he looked relieved to see you at first, then his face fell to that of sympathy. “oh, birdie,” he said softly, running up to you. “i’m here now.’

you weren’t aware bakugou was listening to you cry on the other side of the door as you sobbed into someone else’s shoulder, not his. with dark eyes and trembling hands he couldn’t calm, he dialed a number on his phone.

“well, tomura? i did it.”

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou angst #bnha angst #hawks fluff #bnha fluff #hawks imagines #hawks scenarios #keigo takami fluff #keigo takami imagines #keigo takami scenarios #katsuki bakugou #keigo takami #luna's writing

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