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pega7sus · 1 year

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Jealous (Professor Longbottom x Fem!Reader)

“Sorry? I didn’t quite catch what you said, Y/N/N.”

“I was jealous, Nev.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WHEN Y/N overhears a few seventh-year girls giggling about the oh-so handsome Professor Longbottom, she can’t help but feel jealous.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Wife!Reader, Pureblood!Reader, mentions of blushing, fluff, jealousy, unedited writing, and that’s about it :)

I’m still kinda new to Tumblr, since I’m mostly on Wattpad (follow me on there @/sage-like-the-herb if you want to), so don’t judge this too harshly. Also, I felt bored when I wrote this, so the idea is pretty underdeveloped. Because I’m not as active here, don’t expect stuff like this too often 😂 I hope y’all like it, though!

(Edit: It’s sooo short…)

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(Third-person POV)

Y/N was besides herself with excitement. After months of being away from her husband, she finally got an owl with a time and date to meet up. So, that’s how she found herself waiting outside his classroom.

As the bell rang, and students came out of the room in swarms, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward.

“Aunt Y/N?” a voice asked suddenly.

Head snapping upward, she met the familiar eyes of Albus Potter. After being introduced to her as if she was family, the whole lot of Potter children had taken to calling her their aunt.

“Albus!” she exclaimed, hugging him. She felt relieved upon realizing that she was still tall in his eyes; he was about shoulder-level to her. “Merlin, you’ve grown! I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Lily keeps talking about you,” Albus commented, breaking out of the embrace. “She wants to know when you and Uncle Neville will come by again.”

“Hopefully soon,” Y/N promised. “Now, run along to lunch, I want to drop by Nev’s office for a bit.”

“There are students inside,” Albus informed her. “A rather annoying lot of seventh-years. They just burst in during class! I’d wait out here for a bit, if I were you.”

“Well then, I suppose I’ll do just that.”

So, she waited.

Thankfully, she didn’t stand for too long. Moments later, a trio of girls came walking out of the room, giggling away madly.

“He’s so cute!” a blonde-haired girl squealed. (Admittedly, the girl reminded Y/N of a prepubescent Hannah Abbott, who had harbored a crush on Neville for years until he rejected her in favor of Ginny Weasley as his Yule Ball date.)

Jealousy slapped a bewildered Y/N across the face.

“Yeah!” the blonde girl’s friend agreed. “I don’t care if he’s married, I’d smash him, for sure.”

Y/N felt disgusted.

“Don’t steal my man,” the third girl joked. “I did the research; our Zodiac signs are compatible. Do wizards even believe in Zodiacs?”

“Whatever,” the blonde girl rolled her eyes. “He’s still eye candy.”

“Excuse me,” Y/N said loudly, unable to take this talk of her husband any louder. “Could you young ladies move, please?” When the girls only gave confused and slightly disgusted looks, she continued. “I’d like to see my husband.”

All three girls stopped mid-conversation.

The second-girl’s face paled. “Y-you’re Professor Longbottom’s w-wife?”

“We don’t mean any harm!” the third girl squeaked, eyes widening in fear. “We were only joking! Right, Jessica?” she nudged the girl beside her.

The blonde girl, Jessica, was at a loss of words. She opened her mouth, then closed it once more. “Sorry, Mrs. Longbottom,” she apologized immediately.

“It’s Mrs. Y/L/N, actually,” Y/N scowled. “Mrs. Longbottom is my mother-in-law. Now move,” filthy mudbloods. Thankfully, she didn’t let the last two words slip out her mouth.

Merlin, marrying a Longbottom sure smacked the pureblood supremacist out of Y/N.

However, Y/N didn’t feel the slightest bit ashamed of herself as she slammed her shoulder against Jessica’s on her way into Neville’s classroom.

Y/N twisted the door handle, and rather aggressively slammed the door open. “Nev?” she called out.

“Y/N/N!” Neville exclaimed, accidentally knocking an empty flower pot off his desk in excitement. “Whoops.” He muttered a quiet Reparo and fixed it, before setting the pot back on his desk.

He was quick to wrap his arms tightly around his wife. They stayed like that for a moment, breathing in the moment, before breaking apart.

“I missed you, Nev,” Y/N sighed, looking her husband in his warm honey-like eyes. She must’ve looked the slightest bit irritated from her encounter with the seventh-years, since he gazed at her in worry.

“What’s wrong, flower?” he asked, concern written on his now angular face (all the chubbiness of his youth had abandoned his post-pubescent figure).

Y/N stayed quiet, feeling too embarrassed to admit it. She could feel a flush creeping up her face.

“Y/N/N?”

Merlin, it sure felt weird to be jealous of bloody seventh-years.

“Iwaskindajealousofthosegirlsthatwereherebefore,” Y/N blurted out, hoping that Neville would drop the subject.

However, her sweet Nev, her sweet, caring Nev, could sense the situation gnawing at her insides, so he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“Sorry? I didn’t quite catch what you said, Y/N/N.” Noticing Y/N’s awkward expression and clearly flustered face, he added a soft, “it’s okay, flower, you can tell me. I won’t judge.”

At this point, she wanted to cry. From embarrassment of her predicament, or pure adoration toward her loving husband, Y/N didn’t have a single clue.

“I was jealous, Nev.” Her face must’ve been a tomato by that point.

At his confused look, she elaborated her statement.

“These really pretty seventh-years were leaving your classroom, while talking about how good-looking you are, and I felt jealous. It’s just that— they were gorgeous!” Y/N ranted.

Neville blinked at her. Then, he burst into a fit of laughter. Well, what she assumed was laughter. Neville must’ve been holding back the full brink of his amusement for her sake, since his chuckles sounded rather like wheezes of desperation.

“You were jealous of those girls?” he laughed. “I don’t normally want to talk bad about my students, but they’re the worst group of people I’ve ever encountered. The ironic thing is, they were visiting my room to get some herbs for a Glamour Potion.”

At Y/N’s doubtful look, he spun her around to place both his hands on her shoulders.

“Y/N/N,” he said seriously. “Flower. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on— sorry, Gran,” he joked. Y/N cracked a smile. “I’m so lucky to be married to someone as wonderful as you. You’re kind, loving, appreciative, considerate, and just about every quality that girls like them lack.”

“I—”

“Don’t compare yourself to them,” Neville warned. “Otherwise I’ll have to muster up all my Gryffindor courage just to come up with another motivational speech.” His so-called ‘Gryffindor’ courage must’ve been given a boost by Y/N’s growing smile, since he finished with a passionate “I love you. You. Not them.”

Y/N leaned forward just a bit to press her lips against her husbands.

“I love you too, Nev,” she murmured while kissing him.

The End.

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Not me ending the story in the most third grade-me way ever 💀💀 i haven’t ended a story with ‘the end,’ in a while, but I’ve never actually been motivated to finish my stories in a while, either. Anywho, thoughts on this?? The writing and plot aren’t too bad, right?

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bitchesuntitled · 6 months

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Through the Motions

Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x Reader

Summary: You and Frankie decide to start a family. Regardless of your mental illness and the challenges it faces.

Warnings: Mental health, cussing, pregnancy, bit of angst, comfort, fluffff, pretty much sums it up

A/N: Sooo…. This would be my first fic I’ve ever actually put out for the entire world to read. I used to have several 5 subject notebooks full of fanfic for myself and my cousins to read cause they were the only ones I trusted with that part of my brain. 15 years later and here I am. I had 4 different friends read it before I posted. All of which gave amazing input and helped me with wording, grammar, punctuation, etc. I love you guys!!! @hessofather(knows all about mentally ill pregnancy cause she did that), @jay-zzle(Spanish expert), @bi-panda(help with grammar and punctuation) and Sarah(helped with wording, who needs to get a tumblr)

Special shout out to: @chloeangelic- Thank you for being so helpful to this newbie with your writing advice! You saw this fic before it became what it is now, hopefully it’s still as interesting as you thought it was to begin with @gracieispunk for just telling me to go for it! ❤️❤️❤️

HERE GOES IT! 🫣

Masterlist

At the time you felt like this was a good idea, that you were strong enough to handle it, that it would get better as time went on. Except now you’re not so sure.

*****

It was your idea first, trying for a baby and Frankie was ecstatic. You’d discussed kids before but it was always in a wishful way, too nervous to stop the meds to actually try. Late one night while in bed you decide to talk about it once more.

“What if you can’t handle my episodes?”

“Such as…” He asks moving on his side propping up his head with his fist.

“Well… I’m kinda, actually no, I’m crazy without meds. You haven’t had to experience that side of me but other people have. I had so much rage in me all the time, I would snap in an instant at the smallest of things, there were days I couldn’t even get out of bed. I almost lost my job at one point.” You say rubbing your face trying not to think of the past without meds. He moves your hands and cups your cheek turning your head towards him.

“Hey now, we don’t have to do this. It’s up to you. I’d love it if we could have a version of you and me out in this world but it’s not a necessity if you don’t want to. I’m still going to be here whether we decide to do this or not”

“Oh god, the manic episodes! I’ve gotten those under control finally because of the meds but the mania was almost just as bad as the depression! Sooo many bad decisions, honestly surprised I don’t have a kid already. Definitely had a rise in my labido during the manic episodes,” with widened eyes and a panicked look you start to back track “Sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m rambling now.”

“Shhh, we all have a past,” Frankie laughs, shaking his head, “If we’re being truthful here though- if we try for a baby that would be helpful, right?”

You laugh and roll your eyes.

“Yeah, I guess you got me there.”

*****

Thinking about it and doing it are two completely different things. The trying part was definitely fun and then it happened. Those two pink lines happened a lot faster than you were expecting. What now? You have to get off your meds. That’s what you have to do now. It’s really happening. There is now a life growing inside of you. You thought you were ready for this. Mentally trying to prepare yourself for the moment the meds had to stop, the pregnancy hormones and what they’ll do, the changes your body will go through, the mindset you’ll need to have going through this, so much to prepare for. Then the first slip up happens. It took 3 weeks, 3 weeks for the first incident to happen.

“Oh, I see!” You say gritting your teeth, “So I need to have supper ready for you when you get home? Like I’m some 50s fucking housewife?!”

“That’s not what I even said. All I asked was what are we having for supper? I did not mean what are YOU making for supper.” Frankie said as calmly as he could. He never thought his army training would help him in a situation like this. They teach you how to handle dangerous territories, hostile situations, survival, and so much more. But this? No one ever trains you for this. For a hormonal, mentally ill, pregnant lady.

You can feel your face hot from anger turning into one of embarrassment and shame instead. Your bottom lip begins to tremble. You realize your mistake immediately. Not sure if it’s the mental illness or the hormones rushing through your body. It all kinda feels the same right now. Frankie notices the change immediately and rushes towards you.

“Bebé, bebé, bebé,” He says quietly wrapping his arms around you, pushing your head into the crook of his neck. “It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay. We’ll get through this just like everything else. I’m here.”

“I hate this!” You sob

*****

Your entire pregnancy you feel as if you’re going through constant loops. The manic and depressive episodes coming in waves. You sense it before it happens, a lot like when you can smell rain before it starts. The only thing is when. When is it going to hit you? Will it be a depressive episode? Where you find it near impossible to even get up but you have to in order to make sure things are ready for this baby. Will it be a manic episode? Where you have so much energy it feels like you’re going to crawl out of your own skin but also in a way beneficial because you can get so much ready for the nursery. Will it be one of sadness, anger, anxiousness? What will it be and can you make yourself stop it? Doubtful, you never can, just like now.

**9 months later**

He plops down at the kitchen table sighing. The baby has finally gone to sleep. After 2 hours of crying there is finally silence.

“What‘s wrong?” Frankie asks

“I don’t know.” you sigh, putting the last bottle in the dish rack to dry.

He can tell something is wrong by your actions. The way you’ve been rigid. You’re so stiff. You’re so tense. You feel on edge about every little thing.

The baby is crying. Needs changed again. The baby is crying. Needs fed again. The baby is crying. Needs soothed again. The baby is crying. When is there time to sleep? So over-stimulated it’s almost too much to bear.

It’s only been 2 weeks since the baby arrived and you’re back on meds finally. As with all things though, it takes time.

“What’s wrong? Hermosa, please tell me.” he asks again

“It’s just one of those days.”

One of those days, the hatred for yourself you feel. Am I a good mom yet? Am I doing everything that needs done? Is there anything I missed? I have to be perfect on the outside. Why am I NOT perfect on the outside? Can I even pretend to be perfect? The internal battle is almost too much. You don’t want to look at him. You don’t want him to see how much your mind is making you suffer because he will see it, he always sees it now.

“Baby, please talk to me!” He pleads

You push yourself off the kitchen sink and finally turn around wrapping your arms around yourself and you know he sees it. Your mind starts racing. He thinks you’re a failure. He wants to give up on you. He doesn’t want to deal with you anymore.

He gets up and takes a step closer, you take a step back. Not ready for the comfort, the consoling, the pity party to ensue. He grabs you before you can get too far away.

“You're an amazing momma. Don’t sell yourself short!”

“Hold on,” You start to remove yourself from him, “I need to get the hamburger out for supper tomorrow.”

He furrows his brows letting you go and sighs, “Will you sit down, please?”

Reluctantly you sit down and your mind starts racing and panicking again. Why does he want me to sit? Why did he sigh? Is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong?

The baby monitor goes off and you start to get up again

“Stop, sit. I got this. Stay here.”

So you sit. You sit at the kitchen table with your mind spiraling and wondering what to expect next. Can he change the diaper? Can he make the bottle if the baby needs feeding? Can he soothe the baby to go back to sleep? What does the baby need?

You hear the crackle of the monitor

“Momma is so tired, isn’t she? She needs a break sometimes. She takes such good care of you while I’m at work.“ the baby starts to wail louder, that must be the getting diaper changed cry, “Oh yes, I know mi vida, it’s so cold and momma does it better but daddy is here and can do it too.” Low and behold you are correct!

The baby stops crying. Soothed for now. Who knows how long it’ll be before they’re awake again. Frankie comes back to the kitchen.

“Mi amor, we should get to bed.”

You nod while he grabs the baby monitor then your hand, in a daze you let him lead you to the bedroom. He helps you change your clothes for the first time in three days. Frankie grabs your brush, he gently brushes til the knots are out of your hair and he puts it in a bun the way you like. He grabs you around the waist and guides you into the bed. Laying there together, he’s whispering words of praise to you, “Eres hermosa, you’re a good momma, you’re perfecto for me and our baby” placing soft kisses to your neck with each phrase, and then you hear his soft snoring. With silent tears falling down your face you finally start to drift off to sleep, you suddenly remember you forgot the hamburger meat. You try to move but with Frankie’s warmth and tight grip surrounding you you easily give up, guess there is always tomorrow.

#pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #reader fic #i’m new to this #be kind #white girl doing Spanish #angst #comfort #fanfic writing #fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #pedro pascal #y/n fics

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allofuswantgwinam · 2 years

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jang woo jin x reader

authors note: sooo this is from my old tumblr but i did in fact re do it so if you read it before read it again bc in my opinion i made it better but by redo it i mean edit it and i added some stuffs but still the same story 😂😂 what better way to get back into writing than fixing some old stuff 🥳 i hope y’all like it ☺️

warnings: 18+, smut, dirty talk, unprotected sex, pull out game strong, think he calls her a whore like once, choking, hair pulling, jealousy, smacks her ass like once, if i missed anything lmk

“you.. you wanna go out with HIM???” your best friend jang woo jin yelled exasperatedly while flailing his hands around in the air. you had just confessed your lust for the bullies gopher gwi nam when clearly you should’ve kept it to yourself. “but you hate him!? we all hate him!” he rose his voice in frustration, gripping his hair and looking at you like you have lost your damn mind.

“nooo, don’t twist my words jin! i saaaaid…gwi nam is attractive and that he winked at me when i caught him staring at me today.” you shrugged nonchalantly, not seeing the big deal in the situation. you were sitting on your bed, you had just got home from school and wu jin came to your house with you for a movie night since there wasn’t school the next day. “i also said if he just wanted to hook up i would.. maybe.. possssibily be down..” you confessed halfway, knowing that gwi nam is not exactly a great person regardless if he’s sexy or not, as you tried not to laugh at your dramatic best friend who was pacing your small bedroom.

“he is evil y/n/n.” he said seriously and stopped pacing to look at you with loud annoyance in his eyes. “now let’s pretend you didn’t just say the most idiot shit ever and pick a movie.” he grumbled while walking over to pull you off the bed to help him look through your dvds in the closet. you ended up settling on an action comedy, then got settled on your bed after putting in the dvd. you both were laying next to each other on your bed on top of the covers, looking up at the the tv screen.

it was about halfway through the movie when you noticed woo jin staring at you out of the corner of your eye. “what?” you asked with raised eyebrows and turned to look at him, making him look back at the movie quickly as soon as you turned your head. “hey.” you pushed his shoulder. “why were you staring at me you weirdo.”

he sat there silently for a second, wondering how he should say this. he closed his eyes for a second before speaking up. “why in the fuck… would you wanna bang that asshole?” he asked seriously and turned his face back to yours. “he is like..” he thought for a second, before finishing his sentence with a disgusted look on his face. “actual human Satan.” he sat up criss cross apple sauce and looked down at you where you staid laying flat on your back next to him.

you shrugged with a cheeky lil grin. “i don’t know. i just like the idea of being man handled i guess.” you confessed honestly. you and woo jin were really close. there was basically nothing you couldn’t talk about with each other. or at least that’s what you thought.

you didn’t know it but he liked you. he liked you so much that he swore he would never ever make a move just out of fear that he could lose you completely, but now he’s having second thoughts on keeping quiet. “why are you so concerned with this anyways? it’s not a big deal.” you couldn’t help but laugh at his irritated expression.

“yes it is!” he pushed your shoulder like you did to him a few seconds ago. “i bet he wouldn’t even get you off. he just cares about himself.” he said blatantly causing you to scoff and roll your eyes. “i’m serious Y/N/N! i know he makes you horny or whate-“

“stop!!” you lifted your back off the mattress, blushing profusely and flicked him in the forehead making him tackle you back down on your back. you were so embarrassed you almost wished you never even told him. you didn’t think it would turn into a fucking survey on why you felt that way. “why are you fucking badgering me about this!” you whisper yelled, not wanting your parents to think anything was wrong and come check in. you stared up at him with an agitated look on your face. his hands were pinning your wrists above the pillow your head laid on.

“god please shut up! if you would let me fuckin finish my badgering you would already know.” he said sternly while keeping eye contact with you, taking you by surprise. you couldn’t deny the fact that him being above you, restraining you from any movement was kinda turning you on. he was staring intensely into your eyes, almost daring you to interrupt him again. “i could fuck you better than him.” he stated nonchalantly and tightened his fingers around your wrist. your eyes widen and heart started pumping faster, not knowing what the hell was going on. “you think i won’t? you think i couldn’t respect you and fuck the shit out of you all at the same time? you don’t want that though. you wanna be treated like a useless doll, yeah?” he smirked noticing your thighs squeeze together from your hidden arousal. “why fantasize about him, when the full package has been right in front of you the whole time..” he said softening his demeanor and looked down at your lips not knowing if he should go in for a kiss or prepare to be beat the fuck up for even attempting what he is doing right now.

his chest was hovering yours, close enough to feel his warmth. for the first time you wanted to feel him. all of him. in that moment you needed your best friend to fuck you and give you everything you desired with someone else. “sooo.. are you gonna kiss me or-“ you didn’t even get to finish your sentence before his lips smashed onto yours. he continued to hold your wrists in place with one hand while sliding his other hand down the front of your pj bottoms wasting no time. he slipped his fingers under your panties and moaned lowly onto your lips feeling how wet you are, making you shiver under him. he slowly pressed two fingers on your clit and rubbed in slow circles, making you involuntary spread your legs wider for woo jin. he broke away from your kiss to breathe for a second making you pout your lips at him. you surprisingly enjoyed being dominated by your best friend. you always thought he was cute but you never imagined he would be this bold.

“did i do this?” he smirked, sliding his two fingers from your clit to gather your arousal on his fingers and nibble on your bottom lip while staring sexily into your hooded eyes. you bucked your hips up trying to feel more pressure. “yes.. fuck.” you whined quietly. your parents were just down the hall and you had to keep reminding yourself about that. this was a wonderful surprise but the timing was definitely off.

wu jin took his hand out of your pants and sucked on his fingers pulling them out with a POP sound. you looked at him with pure lust and desire. your confusion to everything that he was saying before was no longer your concern. “how long have you been wanting to fuck me?” you asked randomly and bit your lip at him. you had never ever thought he felt anything more for you other than friendship, let alone jealousy which was pretty clear to you that’s what he was feeling.

“too long.” he answered plainly before engulfing you in another deep kiss. both his hands were pulling your shirt up and you lifted your arms up to help remove it. “holy shit.” he moaned in surprise at your naked chest. with no hesitation he dipped his head down to suck on one of your nipples and pinched the other one roughly, making you let out a small yelp. wu jin couldn’t help but snicker at the sound and lift his head up to look to watch you while he twists and tugs both your nipples. “j-jin please.” you mewled while arching your chest up and tugging on the bottom of his tshirt wanting him to take it off. he obliged and took his shirt off tossing it onto the floor. you slid your pants and panties off quickly, not caring to have them on any longer.

he grabbed your hands, interlocking your fingers and pinning them on the plush pillows above your head, his lips hovering right above yours. “your parents might be up still..” his soft lips ghosted over yours as he whispered. “but i don’t care.” he smiled goofily and let go of your hands to start pulling his pj pants and boxers down. “so you think only assholes could fuck you right,huh?” he chuckled and tossed his bottoms to the floor. you sat there silently, completely exposed to him. you felt vulnerable but also excited. this all happened so quickly you didn’t really have time to comprehend what was happening. “is that what you want? to be treated like shit?” he whispered aggressively and wrapped his hand around your throat, making you gasp followed by a moan and a smile. you were dripping at this point. he lined his tip up with your entrance and slid in slowly.

“f-fuck.. so fucking tight.. and wet as fuck.” the raging boy grunted, looking down where your bodies meet, watching every inch of him disappear in your welcoming cunt. “such a filthy girl.. letting me fuck you with your parents awake down the hall. what would they think, hmm?” he gripped your throat tighter, but not enough to hurt you. “if they knew what a fucking whore their daughter is?” he growled, bottoming out inside you.

“p-please fuck me.” you whimpered with pleading eyes while digging your nails into his biceps. not caring about your parents. not giving a fuck if they heard you, the neighbors heard you, anyone. you needed this. his hand was still gripping your throat, holding your head down on the pillow. he was scowling down at you watching your face scrunch up in pleasure because of him being the one stretching you with his cock; not gwi nam. HIM. you had never been so aroused in your life, you felt like you could explode.

“i don’t know.” he faked in thought, loving the power he has over you right now and slowly started moving inside you, being petty. he used his free hand to squeeze one of your breasts. “you might get us caught.” he smirked making you whine and give him a cute but frustrated look. “ya know. cause you’ll be screaming.” he grinned in confidence giving you a hard and deep thrust, making you almost let out a loud moan but he stopped it with a rough kiss. “you can’t be loud ok?” he demanded, keeping his hips still and put a finger to your lips signaling to keep it hush. “trust me i wanna hear you, but this time we gotta be careful, yeah? well.. you do..” he chuckled and shoved your legs open more, removing his hand form your neck.

‘this time’ kept echoing in your head. you’ve just barely comprehended everything happening in this moment and he’s already planning on it happening more!? you had chills all over your body from the excitement. your walls were pretty sound proof in your house and your parents really like woo jin. they wouldn’t ever think he would be fucking their daughter in their house unbeknownst to them. they thought he was a good friend for you and considered him a second child, but you didn’t act siblings.

“what the hell has gotten into you?” you smiled and bit your lip, staring up at him with stars in your eyes. “are you jealous or something?” you moaned softly closing your eyes when he started biting and Sucking up your chest, leaving a trail of hickies, to your neck.

“maybe.” he nibbled on your earlobe and sucked the skin. he started fucking you hard and gripping your hips tight enough you know there will be bruises later. “maybe i-I’m jealous that y-you..shit.” he growled in your ear and dropped his face in your neck. you wrapped your legs around his waist and clawed his back, biting down on his shoulder trying to contain your moaning. “t-that you want that asshole and n-not me.” he sort of confessed.

“d-don’t want him.” you breathlessly informed him once again and kissed his neck, moaning and whimpering in his ear. he stopped his thrusts and flipped you onto all fours, making you squeal in surprise. you dropped your head on your pillow and looked back at him, pressing your chest into the mattress. his chest was puffing up and down from adrenaline, his cheeks were pink, his hair was in a sexy mess. you’re almost grateful he built up this tension so this could happen. you started to think maybe this wasn’t a mistake. “you look so fucking sexy right now..” you grinned at him and pushed your hips back onto his wanting him to fuck you like hes ran his mouth about.

he put one hand on your hip to keep you still and yanked your head back by your hair with the other so your back was against his chest. his lips were brushing your ear as he spoke gruffly. “you didn’t think so a little bit ago.” he bit your neck and sucked a deep bruise while sliding his hand from your hip down to your heat. “you said gwi nam was hot because he’s mean.” he started rubbing your clit slowly and bucked his hips up, his cock still deep inside you, making you moan and your pussy clench around his length. he let go of your hair and clasped his hand over your mouth. “i can be so much worse… right now im gonna fuck the hell out of you and you can’t even scream. you just have to take it.” you felt his lips curl into a big smirk against your ear. “unless you wannna get caught.” he taunted and started pounding up into you, hitting your g spot with every thrust. the movie was loud enough it covered the sound of his hips clapping against your ass. he slid his hand from your clit up your stomach back up to your throat.

“mmajshd!!” your screams were muffled from his hand covering your mouth. his other hand was hugging your neck and lightly cutting off your air flow, which was such a turn on. he was drilling into you relentlessly, fucking you like he would never have the chance again.

“you like this don’t you.” he grunted as his thrusts become sloppy. “being fucked like i own you.” he removed his hand from your throat to slap your ass. he felt your pussy clench harder around him and slowed his thrusts, making you groan against his palm in annoyance and need. “tell me it’s mine.” he demanded continuing his teasingly slow thrusts and removed his from your mouth.

“please, it’s yours. it’s all fucking yours.” you whimpered without hesitation and tried to wiggle your hips back into him to feel more pleasure. he immediately placed his hand back over your mouth and started fucking you with no remorse. you felt your release building up, wu Jin was panting hot in your ear. “fuuuck!!” you screamed into his hand and felt your orgasm take over your body.

“shit baby.” the salty boy grunted and panted in your ear, feeling his own orgasm coming. “f-fucking so good for me.” his thrusts start faltering as he let your body drop onto the mattress and he pulls out of you, shooting his warm load onto your back.

you laid there on your stomach in complete exhaustion. your body was done and you couldn’t believe it was because of none other than your bestie jang wu jin. “you still think gwi is hot?” he asked breathlessly, with a smug look on his face while wiping off your lower back with one of his socks, knowing he couldn’t leave the room for a towel.

“who?” you chuckled and rolled over onto your back to look up at who used to be just your smart ass best friend.

#all of us are dead #aouad #aouad x reader #jang woo jin #woo jin #jang woo jin x reader

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supergito · 11 months

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Fusion Revived - CH 3 (Dinner Guest)

➤ This story is actually complete (finished Sep 2021) over on my Ao3 already; I'm just publishing it here on tumblr too for archival purposes. I hope any and all curious readers enjoy if they haven't checked it out yet!

SUMMARY: Majin Buu has been destroyed, and the Earth has known peace for close to a year now. Life hasn't been too peaceful for the person responsible for saving the world and the entire universe however, but when an ordinary woman meets him one day, things start to change.

RATING: Teen and Up. PAIRING(S): Vegito x OC/Reader, alluded Gochi, alluded Vegebul CONTENT: Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Family Drama CW(s) THIS CHAPTER: None.

A week had passed since her last encounter with…Vegito. The exact reason was unknown to her, but he kept slipping into her thoughts every now and then. Part of her wondered just what he was up to, or what he even did as a living, but asking someone who she still didn’t know a terrible lot such questions felt inappropriate. She’d leave it alone. All things considered, she didn’t know if she would see him once more, so she tried to focus on her own life.

There was nothing like a hearty meal to quell a grumbling stomach. It took some time to come together, but she was satisfied with the final results. The noodles were firm but not too tough, the veggies and meat were all a nice color, and the broth was rich.

The aroma wafting about the kitchen and into her living room was tantalizing. She was itching to fill up a bowl and dig in, but first…she needed to have a bathroom break.

Setting down her ladle, she stepped out of her kitchen and down the small hallway. She wasn’t in there for long, but upon exiting her bathroom, there was something…off.

Puzzled, but alert, she slowly walked back up the hallway to the living room. In it, there wasn’t anything out of place. It was quiet, like it sound be, but she couldn’t brush off the feeling that she wasn’t alone anymore. Gritting her teeth, she internally questioned if she was being paranoid, but then-

*thump*

There was a noise in her kitchen. Some object had been put down. She tensed, and knew with certainty that there was someone in her house. But how? All of her windows and doors were closed and locked. If someone had broken in, she would have definitely heard them in the act.

Weighing her options, she decided the first step would be to see what kind of trespasser she was dealing with. Moving as silently as she could, she peeked around the corner…

And her jaw dropped.

“Hey, _____.”

Standing next to her stove, was a completely unexpected guest.

“What you prepared wasn’t bad.” Vegito patted his mouth with a napkin, before tossing it onto her counter next to a bowl that wasn’t there before.

“The noodles were good, everything else was decently cooked…could’ve used more salt and spices though.”

He talked as if…she ran to his side, just to get a better look. Her suspicions were confirmed.

Everything she made was gone. The platters holding the meat and veggies, the pot of noodles with the broth…they were all empty.

Mind blank, her head turned towards him. His eyes were closed, and he was digging into one of his ears with a finger; totally indifferent to his crime.

She grabbed a wooden spoon next to her barren pot of noodles, and promptly smacked the man over the head with it.

“How dare you?!” She screamed, fire blazing in her eyes. Vegito didn’t flinch to the strike, but when he heard her roar, he was taken aback.

“You break into my house, eat my dinner, then tell me how bad it was?!”

“… … …” He blinked.

“…I didn’t break in. I wouldn’t do something barbaric like that.”

Was his first reply, watching her with a look akin to a kicked puppy.

“You-” She gasped, teeth bared and eyes glaring daggers, clenching the spoon’s handle so tightly that it creaked. He raised his hands and stepped backwards, like she was an upset beast. She couldn’t tell if he was genuinely spooked, or if he was playing with her.

“If it makes you feel better, it surely wasn’t the WORSE meal I’ve ever had.”

“… … …”

She deeply inhaled, and exhaled. She regarded Vegito with a half-lidded gaze, then threw the spoon onto the stove after a minute.

“Whatever.”

She growled, and went over to her refrigerator. There wasn’t any use in crying over spilt milk. Or in this case, lost food. Come to think of it, how did he even eat everything so fast…?

Vegito stood quietly as she rummaged through the appliance, but eventually rubbed the back of his head and walked out of the kitchen.

“You don’t mind me staying here for a while, do you?”

Leaning into the fridge, she shot up.

“What?!”

“Hm? Are you expecting company over?” He asked, plopping down onto the living room’s couch. He picked his legs up to cross them over her coffee table.

“Company-” She zipped to stand in sight of him, fists clenched.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be? Your OWN home?”

As soon as the questions left her mouth, there was a shift in the air. Her hands relaxed, and she saw the expression on Vegito’s face change. It wasn’t into anger, but…it wasn’t of a positive emotion regardless.

“I do. And I don’t.”

He plainly stated, saying no more, and his tone was a hint to her that it would be ill-advised to try to push him on the topic. Not because he would be angered per se, but because she could sense that it was a highly sensitive subject. One he obviously didn’t feel comfortable explaining.

She would respect that. His reaction had an effect on her, an effect that about erased all of her previous fury. It helped that deep down, she truly was…lonely. When was the last time she had company over?

“…You can stay. As long as you don’t break or steal anything.”

She turned around, missing the soft smile that spread onto the man’s face. Diving back into her fridge, she thought about a new plan for dinner.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have allowed him to stay, but…at this point, he seemed harmless; despite how he somehow got into her house without going through any of the doors or windows. She needed to ask him about that.

But, if he wanted to hurt her, he likely would’ve done so by now. Additionally, while he has annoyed her a great deal, she hasn’t picked up any unsettling or threatening vibes from him during all the times they’ve interacted so far.

That had to have meant something.

#story: fusion revived #selfshipping #dragon ball fanfiction #fanfics #fanfiction #x fem reader #canon x reader #canon x oc

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itsjustagoober · 1 year

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Alrighty then.

So.

This is gonna be one of those posts, unfortunately. One of those where I admit that things are too busy on my side and I've just been trying to hide it really well, but I can't anymore. I finally hit my limit.

TL;DR: I am now shuttering all my blog here indefinitely until otherwise stated due to personal reasons, I will be working only on the ones on the other account (@maddys-mad-menagerie-asks and @maddys-mad-menagerie ) to give them the love and attention they deserve and that I, myself, will only be here in lurking mode, thus reachable only by IMs and on Discord.

Actual reasons why and some exposition below the cut.

So, the immediate reason I'm doing this? Too much on my plate that I actually need to focus on and Tumblr will pull me away from it. Not a bad thing, mind you, but I need to focus these next few weeks.

In these next few weeks, starting tomorrow of when I post this originally, will have to:

-Go to a wake, funeral and an Army service for my great uncle tomorrow. This is the one who lived with us for the last couple years and I've been asked to be a pallbearer with all that I did for him in these last years of his life. I am both honored to help and so very exhausted to see another family member gone so soon. I don't know if it is weird to handle it this way, but I am exhausted by others' deaths. Not that they happen, but how others react and act around the death of others. I know it's coming and all the signs, but I know everyone handles death differently.

-In the next week or so, it is time for our annual family Christmas Party. Didn't have them the last two years cuz of Covid, thankfully, but I don't wanna hear any shit about it at the party. My family is one-half conservative and one-half progressive and all halves euuugh. Hopefully, it'll go as smoothly as it used to, but I have a sneaking suspicion it miiiiiiight not.

-After that, I've got a surprise visit to my great uncle, who doesn't live with us, to spend Christmas Eve with him. I found out he couldn't go to a party he wanted to cuz of stairs, so I'm gonna go spend time with him and let him know he's loved and appreciated.

-Some time after that, maybe another family Christmas party? That one's still up in the air, so we'll see.

-The annual New Year's party with my friends. All at once house, movies and music and sleepover and the IHOP in the morning on New Year's Day.

That's all the stuff coming up, so yeah. The other reasons I am stepping away for a bit is a combination of things, but two stick out to me: I feel like I'm not doing anything up to my full potential, so I, in turn, don't feel like I'm good enough by my own standards.

I know it's the anxiety talking and I'm sure none of you actually think the worst of me and even I know that, but I don't always win that argument. This is one of those times. I love you all and I know you all love me back in your own ways, so I'll leave it at that before I say anything particularly stupid and put my foot in my mouth.

I'm gonna take a break for the rest of the year and reassess what I want to do here and with myself. When I come back, who knows what'll happen? For now, poke me in IMs or Discord for things and I'll be lurking.

Feel free to ask if you wanna continue threads or start any new ones when I come back, but yeah. Maybe I'm calling it too early, so I shouldn't say that, bleh. Anyway, see y'all around soon and have a safe and happy holidays and New Year.

#the goober speaks #irl stuff #i love y'all so much #have a safe and happy holidays #and a safe and happy new year #see y'all again soon maybe

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furrylibrarian · 8 months

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So um. Context. I once tried a romantic relationship with a close friend of mine. Within a few days I was rapidly losing any affectionate feelings, but I kept acting romantic and lovestruck because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t want to hurt my friend. Pretty soon I couldn’t handle being so disingenuous towards them and myself, so I broke up with them. We’re still friends, but I’ve been trying to figure out why things turned out the way they did.

So anyways I found out just now that “losing affection for someone shortly after they start reciprocating” is actually a somewhat common experience. I’ve only looked at a few pages about it so far, but the conclusions they draw are too allonormative/amatonormative to really be applicable to me. So I thought I should inquire on Tumblr (with my friend’s consent to publicly talk about this subject) since it’s very queer over here. Which is what I’m doing now. Advice? Please?

#asexual #arospec #looking for advice

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familyvideostobin · 1 year

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because we all know you probably are gonna see this anyway, i’ll tag you. @eddiesbuttcheeks

miles. miles, miles, miles. there are so many things i could say about you and to you. but i’m pretty sure i’ve said them all.

you constantly play the victim yet you’re the one hurting people left and right. you blame it on a mental illness that i know many people have, but they don’t act the way you do. i literally stopped being friends with you because i couldn’t handle being your therapist and you flew off the handle. you called bee a bitch because she was talking to me. which at this point, i hadn’t even called you out. i had just ended things with you.

its exhausting being friends with you. i bet its even more exhausting dating you. you hate me so much because i saw you for the monster you truly are. i have many people on my side, many stories i have heard including my own. my own irl friend saw how shitty you were and that was even before i stopped being your friend.

you don’t take responsibility for your actions. you hurt people again and again, but the minute someone calls you out on it, suddenly you’re the one being hurt. we’re the ones who are hurting you. you block people and then make shitty apology posts that say nothing of value let alone an actual apology.

do us all a favor and grow up. your therapists aren’t helping, your medication isn’t working, and tumblr is obviously making things worse. i personally don’t care if you get better or not. i just want my friends to stop being hurt by your decisions and my heart goes out to your kid. he doesn’t deserve the shit you put him through.

also you’re ugly as shit dude. please stop posting your cosplays. our eyes are fucking bleeding.

ps i have never once sent you anonymous hate, because i want you to know it’s me. i’m on your mind 24/7 but you only cross mine when you hurt someone i care about. unfortunately it happens more than it should.

and for all the people who are kissing his ass: jasmine, winnie, kara, ivy, everyone else because i can’t name you all. i hope you eventually can open your eyes and see the damage he has done, but i don’t think that’s possible. especially since one of you has already told me how much you dislike him but the minute you and i break up, you’re on his dick.

your bestie,

stiles

#i wish you a very shut the fuck up #i hope this is my last call out post for this man #bc i'm tired

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neurosky · 7 months

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Hi there- I’m pretty new to Tumblr so I still don’t 100% understand how it works. Also, my head is pretty fuzzy so the writing here might be really stiff and confusing.

I also have PANS/PANDAS. There aren’t many online that talk about it. I was incredibly happy to see your blog and diagnosis (which was pretty recent I think). Congratulations!

My symptoms started many years ago, when I was around 9. My behavior changed, my handwriting got really bad, etcetera. It got much worse when I entered 4th grade though. I remember freaking out over not being prepared for something, and was taken out for the first week. (I only found out about the first week bit again since I barely remembered that). Around this time, my mother was trying to find any kind of help. We eventually found one doctor, but since we lived in the USA we couldn’t afford the care. He actually mentioned PANDAS but we weren’t able to go through with any diagnosis.

I left the school I was at in the middle of 4th grade. Changed again when going into 5th. I barely remember anything from that point in my life. It just kinda sucked a lot. I couldn’t understand what any of the teachers were saying. Couldn’t do my homework. Couldn’t interact with others. We thought it would be better to go back to my first school, so in the middle of that year I switched again.

It was much more settled then. I had my old friends and knew the people there better. I also was in a better place family-wise (was living with my grandparents away from my dad during the other schools era). I still had trouble with things of course. I had to stay in during recess everyday because I was never able to finish my work. I still had trouble interacting with others, but I had old friends this time.

!!!/Warning for choking related thing. Don’t want that to trigger something

Over time I’d develop very specific fears that prevented me from doing things. I had an incident involving choking, and after that eating was incredibly difficult. I’m sure you could also relate to other people thinking you’re overreacting or faking it. My friends’ parents would ask, “why can you eat X but not Y?” My fears would get better over time, but switch out for new ones. They haven’t fully gone away either. I still have trouble swallowing, I have to sleep with my eyes covered in fear of sleep paralysis etc.

I started to develop an increasingly intense urge to daydream and pace. I’ve always had it, but it got to a point where it would take up most of my day. Spend hours walking in circles rethinking the same scenario in my head over and over.

8th grade came around and I went to another school again. The one I went to in 5th grade (confusing I know). This time around it was actually a lot nicer. I still didn’t interact with others -only one person a bit- but I was able to do my work well. There would be the one project once in a while that would make me breakdown of course. Especially if it had to do with presenting something. End of that school year though, I moved to Europe.

Moving to a new country was very difficult. I managed the first school year and finished my finals (I wasn’t fluent in the language I genuinely do not know how I passed) but by year 2 I couldn’t handle it. Second week I had to be taken out and we found a special therapist. I wasn’t able to reintegrate well but I could go for an hour a day sometimes.

It took a long time but my therapist was able to get me to a doctor that specializes in autism and other conditions. I went a couple times and after interviews and tests they brought up the idea of me having PANS/PANDAS. One doctor had a colleague that specialized in PANS/PANDAS, and was going to help us see him.

A couple days ago, I just finished my third IVIG treatment. Today, we just got news about all the care and benefits I’ll be able to get. It took very long, but I’m on my way to healing. I’m already feeling better in many areas. I’m nervous, but I’m more hopeful for the future!

I’m so sorry that was so long. And I’m sorry I’m posting this anonymously, I’m just a bit nervous about giving away too much information.

Just know that you aren’t alone! I related so closely to all the stuff you talked about. I read about you eating that salad and it reminded me what I did! Just a small positive thing like that make me so happy. I wish you the best! And it CAN get better!!!

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm sorry you had to go through this too, but I'm so, SO glad that you're on the road to recovery now. I totally relate to a lot of what you said too. It's so important to have a community and people who you can relate to.

I'm glad my posts can make you happy!! And you're right, it CAN get better <3

#i genuinely love hearing that my posts have a positive impact on people #my 2 main goals are to educate and create community #so it's always so nice to hear that I'm helping in some way =]

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erikanism · 11 months

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4 years later . .

hi tumblr! it’s nice to be here again~

actually almost every day i’m here to read fanfics haha. anyway, it’s been a long while, a long four years since i’ve last written here! a lot of things have changed obviously, if not all. having read my past entries, it may be all summarized into two words -- mentally ill haha. i clearly remember how it felt, how it hurt, how it was empty but very overwhelming. it was a phase i would never want to go back again.

i was diagnosed with depression three years ago, in 2020. i gathered up the courage to talk to a psychiatrist but once i diagnosed i kinda ghosted my doctor. i never talked to a psychiatrist again ever since, and i never planned to again, not until about a month ago.

to save you some time, yes, it did get better. everything went better for me. is this surprising? to me, it really is. one major concern that i was writing about four years ago was college. having been raised in a family full of UP graduates, i was expected to be one also, and four-year-ago me never believed i could. another was my parents. i couldn’t survive living with them -- i couldn’t survive them at all. next, well, my harasser haha. and another was just full of suicidal thoughts.

all lo and behold, i am in UP now. believe it or not, i’ve just actually submitted my thesis topic proposals to my thesis adviser a few hours ago. yes, thesis! i’m more than three years in with this college shit, with an unbelievably above bare minimum cumulative gpa. crazy, right? and i couldn’t even get a line of 8 in my math subject when i was in elementary.

my parents are, well, better. but, you know.

let’s unpack what i’ve written before.

i want to take my time with my friends without worrying about their scolding afterwards. i want to study my readings without worrying about their satisfaction on my grades. i want to take a philosophy course. i want to be an activist. i want to write. i want to have a tattoo. i want to have a septum piercing. i want to wear black outfits.

all that i’ve (thankfully) experienced already. almost four times a week i get home late at midnight from hanging out with friends. everyday i study my readings without worrying about my grades. i’m able to attend rallies. i’m writing (now haha). i do have a tattoo already. i have a very sexy septum piercing. and there’s literally not a day i don’t wear black

except one. i’m not majoring in philosophy. and for the past three years i think about it everyday. but it’s not worth hyperfixating on that yeah?

i acknowledge that everything got better to me. this is a phase that i never ever imagined i’d be going through. i experienced maximum level of happiness at times. and i’m surrounded with people who make me want to keep going everyday. i’m given responsibilities i never expected i could handle, and i receive bigger and bigger blessings everyday.

it is worth noting, however, that i also acknowledge having the same mental illness(es), haha. is this something to be sad about? perhaps yes, but not all the time. these four years taught me that this is really sickness. being depressed is not something we could cover up with “time will heal”, as i thought it would. continuously i believed that i’m completely okay. because i was laughing everyday, because i had all the reasons to smile everyday, and because i wasn’t sad anymore -- i couldn’t understand why there were still days that i couldn’t get up, that i couldn’t sleep, that waking up and functioning for the day were the hardest, hardest part. for the past four years, it took me time to realize.

i think the hardest thing about this, is that i never planned on living this long. i’m scared of graduating because i never thought i would. i’m scared of having to maneuver my own career path because i never thought i would. i completely thought i would kill myself, and i was always so sure, now i don’t know what to do.

i have goals, finally. i do want to graduate. i do want to maneuver my own career path. i want to experience touching my first designer bag for the first time. i want to book monthly appointments to maintain a sexy eyelash extension. i want my own apartment some day.

but having to do that everyday, having to wake up and get up for the day. i don’t often see the light to go through the process. i don’t think i can explain this properly. i know this feeling all too well. for years, most days, this is exactly how i feel. at times i don’t, which i consider the lucky days, but how do i actually work on having lucky days every day?

i know the answer is therapy. and i hope i’ll get there soon.

will get back to you when i finally get a job, i guess.

thank you for keeping me alive,

liwayway

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splitfocusdiopter · 1 year

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Feeling gender critical about The Craft Legacy (2020)

For my part, I actually quite enjoy seeing horror classics remade by young women directors. I guess I was the only one who genuinely liked Carrie (2013). So I went into watching The Craft Legacy feeling, not exactly excited, but at least a bit hopeful that it would have something fresh and insightful to say about teenage girls and dark powers. But, um, no?

I didn’t necessarily have a problem with one of the girls being trans. The entire movie felt like it was pandering to tumblr children, anyway, so I guess that would have been just another thing there. I’d probably have had no feelings about that whatsoever, but something about the way they handled it – Well, it just absolutely chafed me. Call me a terf, but it did.

The two times the character’s transness comes up are both about the other girls talking about female bodies and experiences, only to be 1) abrasively silenced with ”*I* can’t relate to that” and 2) silenced and chastised and made to apologize and recite ”trans girls have magic too!”. Like what. For a movie trying so very hard to be feminist, how the hell aren’t these girls allowed to talk about their own physical reality amongst themselves for one gd second without being told to shut up? They established that menstruation was something to be mocked and stigmatized in the universe of the movie, so why couldn’t the girls bond over that trauma? Why couldn’t the girls discuss pregnancy and childbirth as things that might or might not be part of their future? How do you as a female writer/director look at all this and think it’s totally fine, woke, enlightened, progressive, as it should be?

Really, if one of the girls had been a ‘”cis” girl (yeah, no, I actually don’t believe women or girls identify with their oppression even if they don’t decide to call themselves something else) who for some reason, for example, knew she wouldn’t be able to have biological children of her own? Would a female witch then have pressured other female witches to not even mention the fact that the female body is generally capable of gestation and giving birth? Somehow I just don’t think so. Somehow I feel only a whole-ass entitled male would be in a friend group with females and make them accommodate him instead of genuinely listening to them, supporting them, and at the very least trying to empathize with them even about things that aren’t part of his personal life experience. And that’s just so sad.

But, of course, they then kind of shot themselves in the leg with the whole “trans girls have magic too!” spiel once it was revealed that indeed David Duchovny was the big bad. “Your creepy stepfather has magic too!” Go figure.

#the craft #the craft legacy #gender critical #radical feminist safe

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sxveme-2 · 2 years

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The Archer // Eddie Munson

MASTERLIST

DESCRIPTION: "ℑ𝔱'𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔠𝔢𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤. 𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔱'𝔰 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱'𝔰 𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔨𝔦𝔡𝔰. 𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔱'𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩 𝔪𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯."

That's what's killing the kids-the forcing of roles and stuffing into boxes. Everyone has a place to go; who is anyone to break out of those predetermined destinies? The popular girl isn't supposed to be friends with the freak-the freak isn't supposed to be in love with the popular girl.

They had been friends since they could talk–Eddie Munson and Heidi Delgado. Inseparable on the playground, never venturing far from one another. That was until social hierarchies became a thing, and people took sides.

When Heidi moved out of Hawkins, Indiana, during the summer between her tenth and eleventh year of high school, no one expected her to return. Once someone leaves Hawkins, they're not supposed to come back. It's a place where there's no need to visit unless you live there. No one wants to spend time in a town where murders run ramped, and everyone has to double-check their locks before bed. So, when former Miss. Popularity returns to Hawkins, missing three-quarters of the family she left with, so it only makes sense people start to talk.

Eddie Munson was just aiming to graduate; he wanted to get the hell out of Hawkins High. He'd already failed to do so twice, but this was his year. 1986, the year Eddie Munson proved them all wrong. Those plans don't exactly pan out when the girl he loved since diapers returns, and darker forces seem to be at play underneath the very soil he calls home.

The freak shouldn't be friends with the popular girl-and the popular girl shouldn't love the freak. Yet, isn't that what makes a love story great?

Follow Eddie and Heidi as they not only navigate through this broken shamble of a friendship but encounter something much darker in the town they call home.

DISCLAIMER: My works are only published here on Wattpad, Tumblr and AO3; thank you!I do not own any original characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to The Duffer Brothers. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else. This work handles mature things such as nudity, sexual content, emotional distress and trauma. Do not read if you are not comfortable with these. I am not responsible for your media consumption and what you choose to read.

This fanfic begins in March 1986 and will include plot points from season four.

STATUS: Unedited

Chapter XV - I Wanna Know What Love Is

Warnings: Mentions of past trauma and NSFW content

Word Count: 3541

“So…You’re the soccer captain?” Heidi noted as Isabelle Banner’s car sped through the streets of east Hawkins.

“Yeah…Coach promoted me from an assistant at the start of this year,” Isabelle confirmed as she tapped on the wheel of her car, “Did you still play in Denver?”

“Yeah,” Heidi nodded, fiddling with the end of her sweater, “I was the captain. Won the state championship in eleventh grade.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“Mhmm.”

Heidi cringed at the awkward tension between the two. Something unsaid held them steady in this limbo, not letting either make the first move to get the fight started. Perhaps it was the fact that the two were best friends only in the name when Heidi was in Hawkins before, only ever really being friends because that’s what was expected. An underlying competition always kept them back from ever actually growing together into a garden versus a weed-infested marsh. Isabelle and Heidi couldn’t be more different, though, butting heads over minor things and disagreeing on nearly every front.

Isabelle used to be notorious for spreading false rumours about Heidi—her family specifically. It was a friendship strictly in face-value emotions, with no deep attachment to the other. They claimed to be best friends, to always have one another’s back—but both Heidi and Isabelle knew the exact opposite was true. Eddie Munson held the title of the Princess of Hawkins’s best friend, despite most seeing him as nothing more than the jester. But even now, Robin Buckley was closer to being a best friend to Heidi than Isabelle Banner ever was.

“Aaron talks about you a lot,” Isabelle pointed out, setting Heidi’s heart rate into the sky, “Nearly every day—He wants you back.”

“Yeah, well, if he wanted me that badly, he shouldn’t have slept with whoever that girl was,” Heidi grumbled, picking at a hangnail out of stress. She felt an impending strike, something lingering behind her with a gun, ready to shoot. But still—she couldn’t stop her mouth from running, “It wasn’t like it was a secret that we were still together.”

“Maybe he told her otherwise.”

“You think so?” Heidi questioned, turning to focus her regard on Isabelle. Her knuckles were strained on the wheel; pitch-black eyes frozen as she stared out at the street, “Do you…Do you know who it was?”

Heidi didn’t need to be a genius. She didn’t need a degree in human behaviour to notice how Isabelle’s body went rigid at the insinuation. It felt like the entire world was cracking around her, matching the shattered pattern of her heart. Her lungs fell dormant as she put those final pieces of the puzzle together, and that flame that Heidi had seen behind Max slipped into her own. She had been so stupid—so ignorant. Of course, it was Isabelle, the very person who had tried for over a decade to try and dethrone the Princess of Hawkins.

The lion that circled the bottom of the tree Heidi sat in sunk its claws into the bark, climbing up to where she was perched. But Heidi couldn’t move; she couldn’t even fully process it. Her eyes were blown as wide as a doe’s as the predator swiped at her, slicing the skin on her leg and adding to the myriad of scars. All her defences fell from her grip as she stared at the murderous intent in the beast’s eye—Isabelle had won. She had succeeded in pushing Heidi from heaven, leaving her a fallen angel amongst men in the Hell that was Hawkins.

“It was you…” Heidi muttered, her voice betraying her, “You were the girl.”

“He told me you guys were on the verge of breaking up!”

“When was this?”

“March—”

“We broke up in July, Isabelle!”

“...I didn’t think you’d find out.”

“THAT’S WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY RIGHT NOW!?”

“Heidi—”

“Stop the car.”

Isabelle’s car abruptly stopped at the side of the road. It was lined with nothing but trees and strange whispers that wanted to pull Heidi into the darkness. She was quick to part from the car, Isabelle following close behind as Spanish curses slipped from her lips. It was like the world knew things were looking up for Heidi, that things were finally taking a turn for the better, but it wasn’t finished with its torment. She felt so helpless, so alone as she stumbled along the side of the road with tears falling from her eyes in fits of anger. Everything made sense, and Heidi chided herself for relying on ignorance—she couldn’t see the obvious.

Of course, Isabelle Banner was the one to steal the flickering light from Heidi’s life. Everything she had built over the past week was torn from her grasp like a toy from a child, and there was nothing she could do to fix it. Isabelle had been hellbent dethroning the untouchable Heidi Delgado during their years together in Hawkins; the latter just assumed that petty drama would end when she moved to Denver.

Heidi could never escape the constant threat of embarrassment that followed her; she couldn’t escape Hawkins’s nightmare and the curse it had placed upon her. Maybe it wasn’t Hawkins that was the weed needing to be ripped from the garden—it was Heidi. She just kept coming back, infecting everyone around her and plaguing the area with disease and vermin. Everything was so obvious, yet Heidi decided she’d rather be oblivious, would instead let it surprise her, then look at the obvious. She had become her own worst enemy and blamed it on everyone else around her when she refused to see what lay in front of her. Heidi felt humiliated beyond comprehension now, knowing that Isabelle had been the one to do it. She couldn’t help but let her overstimulated mind wander and work itself into overdrive—who else knew?

“How long?” Heidi rasped out, her voice scratchy and desperate as she pointed at Isabelle. The lights of Isabelle’s car illuminated her tear-soaked face, and she felt like a deer caught in the headlights. It was rolling towards her at full speed, waiting to strip the breath from her lungs.

“Heidi, please—”

“How fucking long, Isabelle!?”

The girl hesitated, and Heidi’s heart only shattered further. It wasn’t a one-time thing; it wasn’t a mistake that haunted both of them for what they did. Isabelle and Aaron continued to sleep together after the first time, even with the letters still coming in from Denver and the endless phone calls between the two. Heidi had been the fool in this court, the jester who danced and sang when needed and was cast to the side until she was called back.

“Until you visited in the summer.”

Heidi couldn’t stop the way she moved. How her feet stormed forward and the way her hand clenched. The only thing that woke her up from the tornado she fell into was the sound of a smack radiating along the empty streets and the yelp that rang from Isabelle’s lips. Even then, Heidi didn’t care. There was no remorse in her eyes as she stared at the hunched-over Isabelle; all she cared about was the satisfying feeling that burst in her stomach like the soothing burn of fire. Heidi may be unable to heal the scars that littered her body, but she could nurse the wounds that split along her heart. Punching Isabelle Banner was a bandage over a bullet hole, but it was better than nothing.

—

“Wanna tell me why Isabelle Banner has broken blood vessels in her eye and a bruise on the side of her face?” Eddie’s voice cooed as he kicked Robin from her seat next to Heidi in the English class for the second day in a row.

Heidi stayed silent and pulled the aged coin from her pocket. She fiddled with it between her fingers before dropping it onto the table, sliding it over to Eddie without looking up from her paper. Eddie made a noise of confusion before she scribbled down the burning question that haunted her brain and brought nightmares into her sleep. Tears threatened her waterline as her throat clenched, praying to whatever God there was that the question she was going to ask him didn’t warrant the answer she knew she’d be getting.

Heidi needed it to be untrue; she needed to know that he had zero ideas about anything that went on while she was in Denver. With the new foundation that they had rebuilt after the deafening silence from the past year, Heidi had found a place to belong. She just worried that the castle was made of a pile of sand and a wave was waiting to crash their party.

Did you know about it?

“I’m gonna need more than that, Princess,” he teased, voice low as he slid the paper back to her, “I know a lot.” Heidi scoffed at his words before continuing.

Did you know about them? Isabelle and Aaron?

“I…I only found out a bit after you guys broke up,” he whispered, “Like two weeks after.”

Heidi felt the world slip away from her again, her grip on it disappearing into the wind as his words floated into her ears. Tears welled up in her eyes as she let his answer sink in—even if he only found out after her, he never told her. He didn’t tell her, never even thought to bring it up. Eddie knew that Aaron was cheating on her. Eddie knew it was with Isabelle and still didn’t tell her. Whatever stance Heidi had found within Hawkins the second time around was gone; she didn’t have anything now. Everyone except for Robin and Steve seemed to be on her side, and still, it wasn’t the same.

Her best friend and the boy that made her stomach twist itself into knots had known about her boyfriend’s infidelities—and never told her. The heavy beats of silence forced Heidi’s shoulders to slump, the weight of it almost unbearable. Everything that had been nurtured and replanted in the garden of Heidi Delgado was uprooted, tainted with her plague and curse. Her breathing felt limited, as though the world had its grip around her throat and was squeezing her.

“Heidi—!”

“Miss. Delgado!”

Heidi threw her things into her bag and dashed the door, rubbing her bruised knuckles as she stormed from the classroom. The tears slipped from her eyes, and Heidi made no effort to conceal them, no attempt to hide the way they stained her flushed face. Her pain was no secret anymore; everyone knew about it. From her parent’s and brother’s death to the first heartbreak Heidi had ever felt—everyone knew Heidi better than she knew herself. Her life had been displayed for people to gawk and point at, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

Heidi was nothing more than an animal in a zoo to Hawkins, something they could throw food at and hurl names towards. Everything that had ever happened to her was waiting and wantoned for the town of Hawkins, Indiana, to twist and break to fit their image. She felt ridiculous for even thinking things would be different a second time around, that people would have changed, and she would’ve been able to start over again. Heidi wasn’t the girl that got second chances; she wasn’t the character in a story who knew what to do to fix things or how to make things right. She was scared, lonely, and in more pain than she knew how to handle.

—

I've gotta take a little time

A little time to think things over

I better read between the lines

In case I need it when I'm older

Heidi sat in the basement of her house, rifling through old boxes that her Abuela had tied off with twine. In them sat photo albums and letters from her parents, containing the sole pieces of comfort that Heidi had left in her life. She couldn’t look at her yearbooks now, not with the day she had just had. Her Abuela was going to string her by her toes, but Heidi didn’t care anymore; her heart had fallen numb as the tears dried on her cheeks.

This mountain, I must climb

Feels like a world upon my shoulders

Through the clouds, I see love shine

Keeps me warm as life grows colder

She ran the box-cutter she had over the twine and tape that kept one of the boxes shut, and she tore the sides open. The tones of Foreigner kept her heart weeping as she pulled out a few of the photo albums. Heidi leafed through the pages as the tears wet her cheeks once more, the mascara she had on long gone from her trek from Hawkins High. People had tried to pull over, but her steps only picked up. No one truly cared what was wrong—they just wanted to know why it was Heidi Delgado was crying, why the ousted Princess of Hawkins was running from her kingdom.

Heidi was a source of gossip and rumour for Hawkins, and she felt like a fool for believing anything else. They had convinced her they were different, that Hawkins was no longer the place she once knew. Even with the tragedy that plagued the streets and haunted the hallways, Hawkins, Indiana, was nothing more than a hub for pain and hurt. Heidi Delgado was its latest victim, and people couldn’t wait for the show to start.

In my life, there's been heartache and pain

I don't know if I can face it again

Can't stop now, I've traveled so far

To change this lonely life

Heidi tugged out a few more photo albums, blowing the dust off of them as she admired the various polaroids and printed photos that filled the pages. From Christmas to Easter, they were truly and utterly happy, especially when they were together. The Delgado family was a haven for Heidi, one that was extended to the boy that always made her heart skip a little, even when these feelings were foreign to her.

But they were apart now, worlds away. Heidi was alone, no longer surrounded by the people that kept her at her best. She hadn’t felt so lost and desperate since the day her Abuelo died, whispering the words she kept near her heart and repeated into the mirror nearly daily.

Nunca es bueno dejar que el pasado controle tu vida, mi amor.

That man held Heidi together when nothing else could. Sebastian Delgado had passed that torch to Eddie the day he left—but the fire burned low, and Heidi was left in the dark.

I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me

I wanna feel what love is

I know you can show me

Heidi tugged out a photo of her sixteenth birthday, a cake in her hands as she sat with her Abuelo on his hospital bed. Eddie was on the other side, a bright smile on his face as he watched Heidi blow out the tiny flames. This was a moment in her life that wouldn’t ever leave her mind; it was burned and branded into her brain and would both haunt and save her when everything fell apart around her.

She ran a thumb along Eddie’s black and white face before tracing it down the sickly features of her Abuelo. He had died a few days after this was taken, and Eddie held the shaking frame of Heidi as she broke down in the halls of Hawkins High. He held her head close to his chest and whispered soothing words into her ears as everyone passed by, wondering why the Freak was holding Princess as she sobbed.

Gotta take a little time

Little time to look around me

I've got nowhere left to hide

Looks like love has finally found me

In my life, there's been heartache and pain

I don't know if I can face it again

Can't stop now, I've traveled so far

To change this lonely life

Heidi soon realized this entire album was of her Abuelo, and she slapped it shut. She couldn’t face that demon just yet, not when the others held their claws to her throat and threatened to tear her broken heart from her chest. Her chest slumped against the wall, facing screwing up into something that could only be described as a knife being plunged into her chest. It felt like the world had finally given into its dark desires, letting the shadows win as they haunted Heidi’s thoughts and fears.

Heidi grasped her chest and dug her nails into the scars that littered the skin as she tried to keep ahold of herself, to keep a failing grip on the self she once knew. With each passing moment, the thorns of her rose bandages dug deeper into her skin and opened her up to the harsh reality awaiting her. Her fate was sealed, and Heidi needed to finally accept that there wasn’t anything left for her to do against it—she couldn’t fight it anymore. She was too tired to fight it; she couldn’t do it again. Heidi was not the strong soldier that strapped herself in and let the ride shake her numb. She didn’t want to fight anymore.

I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me

I wanna feel what love is

I know you can show me

Broken sobs shook Heidi’s body as her nails dug into her skin and the carpet beneath her. She desperately grabbed at it to try and soothe the everlasting hurt that grew violent within her heart. Her arms stiffened, and her neck grew tense as she withered under its grip and the restraints it looped around her soul. It felt like she was a wounded deer that stumbled into a hunter’s trap, struggling to free herself as the arrow soared towards her heart. It was maddening, knowing there was nothing she could do to fight off the miserable life she was soon to live. Heidi wanted out; she wanted to be free of this torture and the agony that riddled her body and mind daily.

She just didn’t know where to go. Her screams soared through empty caves and bottomless caverns. No one heard her silent pleas and tortured begging as she scraped at the last broken pieces of her life. She’d reached the bottom of the barrel, and Heidi had nowhere else to go as the unthinkable hurt sliced at her heart and left her weak and feeble under its grip. She didn’t know what else to do except let it sweep her away in its murky current and take her to a place that couldn’t be any worse than the reality she lived in.

I wanna know what love is (I wanna know)

I want you to show me (I wanna feel)

I wanna feel what love is (I know, I know, and I know)

I know you can show me

Let's talk about love

Heidi kicked her leg out at a few of the boxes that wound up tumbling to the side, those she had torn open spilling their guts along the floor. A silent yell rang from her throat as she slammed her fists onto the ground before climbing onto her knees and collecting the various albums that fell. The sound of the front door opening and Beezley barking sent a shiver through Heidi’s spine as she wiped away the evidence of her murder on her sleeves, the tears staining her white shirt.

I wanna know what love is

(Love that you feel inside)

I want you to show me

(I'm feeling so much love)

I wanna feel what love is

(And you know, you just can't hide)

I know you can show me

Heidi piled the albums back into the box, only stopping when she noticed the stack of letters wrapped in twine she’d never seen before. Last time she checked, all of the letters from her parents were in the other boxes she’d torn through—not the one filled with pictures of her Abuelo and Eddie. She sniffled and pushed the boxes back up before crawling forward and picking up the stack. The faint steps of her Abuela upstairs set Heidi’s heart into overdrive, and she took hold of the letters.

“Nieta?” Nalda called from the top of the stairs, “Is that you down there?”

“Sí, Abuela! Un momento!”

Oh, I wanna know what love is

(Let's talk about love)

I know you can show me

(I wanna feel)

I wanna feel what love is

(And you know you just can't hide)

I know you can show me

I wanna feel what love is (oh, I wanna know)

I want you to show me

Heidi stuffed the letters into her backpack and scrambled to her feet as her Abuela wandered down the creaking stairs towards the basement. Heidi tucked her hands behind her back and forced a tight smile on her face—one her Abuela didn’t buy for a split second. A beat of silence passed between the two before the elder of the two took a few steps forward and ran her thumb along her Granddaughter’s cheek.

“It’s never good to let the past control your life, mi querida.”

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caniculture · 22 days

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Just going to ramble a bit because, if my friend is to be believed, what else is Tumblr for.

People who don’t know shit about proper dog husbandry and have never been to a show or had their hands on a dog need to shut up about proper ethics. If you don’t understand why a dog looks and is structured and acts the way it does then you shouldn’t have a say in it. People who cannot spell Brachycephalic and don’t know the actual history of Brachycephalic Breeds and the specific, likely now extinct, breeds that went into developing them shouldn’t have a say in the breeding, legality, or husbandry of them. The Dog Fancy hobby is dying and with the death of it comes the death and extinction of wellbred, well-structured dogs as a whole, mixed breed or not.

And, it is not just the actions of ARAs and the manipulated, unaware public that are leading to the death of the hobby. As someone new to the hobby that’s overly passionate about dogs, I have been talked down to by people in the hobby every step that I have taken further into the hobby, I will only put one of these examples here. I was originally interested in Beauceron and when I looked into the breed and talked to some people in the breed that were rude and put me off a little, but, I didn’t want to give up, the breed seemed to be everything I wanted; a driven, smart breed that excels at many many sports and has the desire to try anything with their owner at least once, and then I learned about the biggest source of drama in the breed, a well-known breeder knowingly selling a puppy to a zoophile and all the people supporting and shielding her from criticism. When I wanted to talk about it to find breeders who aren’t associated with her I was met with harassment and was told that it was “no big deal” and other statements undermining the situation. That was when I gave up on the breed.

I’m sure there are many good people and good breeders of Beauceron, but, as a sensitive and autistic 18 year old just looking to dip his toes into showing and sports at the time, I couldn’t handle that part of the community.

Then I talked to a delightful person who has and breeds Cardigan Welsh Corgis who pointed me towards Manchesters and told me to keep an open mind to breeds until I find the ones that click. They said that they had started with Manchesters and that Manchester people were very welcoming. This is true, every Manchester person I have spoken with, both in person and online, has been delightful. However, the Manchesters I had met, despite being wonderful dogs and the breed as a whole just being wonderful, didn’t quite click with me. The breeders and exhibitors and owners of Manchesters that I had met are the only reason that I had the courage to try again in the community and hobby as a whole.

Then, I joined many dog groups and talked to more people, reached out to some people about Japanese Akitainu, a breed I had adored since childhood, and they had been nothing but welcoming and encouraging. They helped me figure out what breeds would fit me best and connected me to some people to talk with and hopefully meet in person at a show so I can meet their dogs in person. The breeds they suggested were Kishu and Shikoku, both primitive breeds that mixed very well with my needs and even with most of my wants.

Then through them I found out about the Japanese Terrier, a terrier breed bred for companionship that still has that terrier spice in a small, around 10” to 13” to the shoulder, package. An alert dog that gets along with most other dogs and enjoys dog sports.

I hope someday to be a breeder for at least one of the following breeds as they have truly captured my heart, I don’t think any other breed could fit quite as well as what I’ve heard about these breeds could:

Kishu, Shikoku, Japanese Terriers, and/or Algarve Barrocal Dogs.

Now, you may be wondering about Algarve Barrocal Dogs as they aren’t really known outside of Portugal and I had not brought them up earlier in my ramble, well, this is because I found out about their existence completely on my own while I was learning about the culture that my father left behind. They are a medium sized, primitive hunting breed that comes from Barrocal in Algarve, Portugal.

Described as perfectly suited for the rough terrain of Barrocal, they were bred to be prolific hunters that are lively and accepting of other dogs, they should be tolerant with a “pyramid shaped” head. If I had to choose a breed they looked the most like I’d choose the Silken Windhound, but don’t think they’re interchangeable, there are several key differences. Algarve Barrocal Dogs are also not recognized by the AKC, UKC, or even the FCI yet, so in order to get involved with them I’d have to visit Portugal and track down the right people which I hope to do someday, they’re amazing dogs and if everything goes well I hope to bring them to the US and help them get recognized if I could manage and afford such a venture in the future

If I could afford and manage to breed all 4 breeds I would, however, it seems more likely that I’ll start with Kishu and Shikoku and see if I could handle more from there. I get to go to my second show ever the weekend of October 20th, it’s in my hometown, I’m hoping that some dogs of the breeds I’m interested in will be there this year, however, I’m aware that it’s a long shot and will continue to attempt to meet dogs and breeders from these breeds.

~~~

All of this to say, don’t talk on things you aren’t willing to listen to others who are more educated about, and if you choose to talk on something, don’t get pissy if someone corrects you respectfully. The hobby needs to pull together and be more welcoming, if we stay divided and not willing to talk about controversies and not willing to hold people accountable, we will fall and the breeds we love will have less and less good breeders keeping them healthy and stable. We should be nurturing people’s interest and fascination, not stomping them down for asking “stupid” questions or pointing out things and asking about why we do things the way we do.

I hope to be getting my first wellbred dog soon enough but, I know I can handle it. I know I’m prepared. I hope to see the hobby be what I know it can be, these bans will keep coming and affecting things for the worst if we don’t politely and respectfully educate the public, go out and talk about our dogs, help people find good breeders and be able to identify bad breeders and the shades of gray between, and encourage people to show and perform with their dogs instead of tearing them down for mistakes. I hope to see a community that’s less clique-y and more supportive of each other in the future.

Once I'm established with my dogs and have been around the block, absolutely I will be encouraging and helping new people handle, show, and do sports with their dogs. I may be a purebred snob but will never ever turn my nose up at new people who are willing and able to learn or even people wanting to argue. We're all just people who love dogs at the end of the day, we should help each other achieve the best we possibly can so we can do justice for all of the amazing breeds out there, even if some aren't personally our tastes. We all have things we can learn from each other and I cannot wait to learn even more about dogs and this amazing, yet nerve-wracking to get into, hobby!

Sincerely,

Luka of CaniCulture🐾

Canine Trinket Collector

Dog Enthusiast and Aspiring Photographer

Aspiring Dog Groomer, Breeder, Exhibitor, and Trainer

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actualtoad · 2 years

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hi so. i was trying to log into tumblr this morning and got a message that my account had got terminated so im here now

#tumblr couldn’t handle me actually talking to my friends for once????#idk. i sent them an email. im not gonna think about any implications rn because hopefully i just get it right back #anyway today im stressed because my little cousins are going to be over and i’ve been counting on staying after school and my mom won’t #drive me home while they’re over which is fair and normal and good but she also won’t let me stay at the library until they leave which is #what im most comfortable with and. if i can’t stay for that late i can’t stay at all. and i need to stay at least some #i even have an assignment i need to get done she just doesn’t know about it because i was supposed to turn it in already!!#mostly i just want to see my teacher as opposed to my parents and the kids who hate me #anyway just. yeah so im here now #let me know if you need anything over here #if i have to switch to here forever i guess i will?? it’s kind of supposed to be over #but. yeah. if that’s what it takes i will i guess #thanks for bearing with me. idk why they did that. i hope it gets figured out #me. my post. mine.#delete later

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teamironmanforever · 3 years

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HIGHLIGHT TRANSLATION OF THE SPANISH DUB ACTOR GUILLERMO ROJAS

Guillermo Rojas - Spanish Dubbing actor for Dean since season 12 until 15x18 (he contracted Covid and was unable to record 15x19 or 15x20 - he has yet to record those)

INTERVIEWER: “Memo (nickname for Guillermo), I am not sure if you knew, but you broke the internet”

MEMO: “Yes, a lot of people sought me out when this happened. I am so sorry I wasn’t able to answer at length all of your questions, but I was right in the middle of dealing with Covid. I couldn’t speak without feeling like I was drowning. Right now I am going to (voice) therapy. While it is not too dreary, there are 2 continued effects, so I couldn’t answer everyone who contacted me through various ways - through FB, instagram and an old youtube channel that I haven’t used in years - with respect to the situation that occurred between Dean and his friend (Cas).

MEMO: “We try to follow (our lines) in what we see of the acting. Remember that dubbing is something where we must make a parallel alignment in our own language. Under the guidelines given to us by the client, we try to expand on all possibilities and all the alignments and - as actors - they permit us to give 100% of ourselves. So there isn’t a limit per se, so long as you don’t go off track (from what was requested from the client)”

INTERVIEWER: “What were the guidelines for the line that broke the internet”

MEMO: “It’s curious because neither the director nor us the actors knew much about the tendency that existed. Because we didn’t have much previous information that suggested that something like this would happen. To be honest when we recorded it, we were asking wait what’s happening? I mean we did it, but no one knew this was coming neither in the production studio nor amongst the actors.”

INTERVIEWER “I need to ask for a clarification here. I mean we are talking about the love declaration Cas made to Dean after 12 years of intense eye-contact. But the big question is Dean’s answer. Because EVERYONE heard in your voice that clear “And I you, Cas”

MEMO “And I you, yes.”

INTERVIEWER “Where does that “And I you” come from? Was it you? What happened there?”

“The adaptation came entirely from my director (Adrian Fogarty). He adapted it and gave us our acting guidelines, and I performed accordingly - I gave what he asked of me. We all loved it. We never saw it coming so overtly.... If you remember across all seasons, we rarely see Dean get involved with any women. It just didn’t happen, unlike his brother. He just never got involved. It wasn’t his thing, especially because we have his brother to compare him to. We saw (Sam) in a relationship in the past 2 seasons with Eileen which was a very intense relationship, and very painful in the end. Dean never had to suffer through that. They tied Dean’s pain to the loss of his mother since he lost her more than once.”

FB question: “So It wasn’t a rogue translator, it was a rogue director”

MEMO: “Look, Fogarty has some really intense abilities and one of them is to adapt the dialogue. When you see him translate a script, when he has the time to do it - even when he is not the one directing - and he leaves it in Spanish. The dialogue said, if I remember correctly, “me too” or something like that and then we switched it to “and I you” due to effects of lip movement, rhythm, etc... We don’t all have the ability that Fogarty has, that speed which he has, to think and translate immediately. We are a team and we work together, and pool our collective abilities, and of course Fogarty does his part. You need a Fogarty in every company.”

(The interviewer mentioned that her cat hates Sam Winchester and loves dubbed Dean’s voice).

INTERVIEWER “Do you know what Dean said in the original script before Fogarty got his hands on it?”

“Yes, of course. It made allusions to that. (Fogarty) made the right translation. It said and so do I or me too or something like that. It said it in the (original) script.”

INTERVIEWER: “When you heard the english version while you recorded yours, did you hear Dean say I love you too?”

MEMO: “No. If I would have, I would have taken the earphone out and gone what the fuck? *laughs*”

INTERVIEWER: “What was your favorite episode to film?”

MEMO: “With my short-term memory, I would say this last one (15x18), because it says so much. In one scene, it says it all. It was impressive, and so beautiful. I never saw it coming.”

Interviewer “Well you have broken tumblr again.”

MEMO: “Okay *Laughs*. Well, that’s good. Thank you very much.”

MEMO: “I think it’s clear to everyone that the fact that he (fogarty?) broke the internet, with this information was a surprise for everyone. Absolutely everyone. Because we all say that if someone wants to be a “real man” we have to be like Dean. In fact it’s something very beautiful for me because it has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with feelings. It was a play by the writers that was marvelous. You didn’t see it coming, but damn do you like it.”

MEMO: “Nothing was left out of the translation... No I was not called to re-record the “and I you”. I have not been asked to remake the dubbing. My director perfectly understood the texture of the text.”

INTERVIEWER “Do you know if Supernatural has a quality review for the dubbing through Warner Bros?”

MEMO: “I would be lying to you if I said yes, but I have been working for WB (LatAM) for many years as both an actor and director. And there is some specific material where they do have “filters”, but with something like supernatural I doubt it. I would assume the one left in charge of all decisions was our director (Fogarty).”

INTERVIEWER “Have you been interpreting Dean as in love with Castiel this entire time or was it a surprise for you?”

MEMO: “No, never, it was a surprise. In fact, to be entirely honest, to my closest friends - of the same gender - I do use the phrase “te amo”. I don’t have any issues with that. So I actually thought it went that way - but then I found out it was romantic.”

INTERVIEWER: “Guillermo, what is your opinion, of destiel now that you know the nature of their relationship.”

“Well it was a revelation for everyone - including me. I love how they handled it because we didn’t see it coming. And I think, of our understanding of the character’s traits and psychology, we know that if someone knows how to repress their feelings, it’s Dean Winchester. *laughs*”

INTERVIEWER: “What would you say to Cas if he came back from the empty?”

MEMO: “He came back?! (he hasn’t seen 15x19 or x20)

INTERVIEWER: “No I am saying what would he say IF he did”

MEMO: “Oh, okay. I was under the assumption that I said I loved him so long as he wasn’t planning on coming back! *laughs* Well if he returns I guess I would say “Hello, Cas”.

INTERVIEWER: *Tells MEMO about the not for nothing cas but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid”

MEMO: OKAAAAY *laughs* That was too much. *laughs*

INTERVIEWER: Would you be this fandom’s Godfather?

MEMO: But of course *smiles* This was a big thing, from what I see.

INTERVIEWER: “What message would you give to the fans who are descovering the spanish dub?”

“first, thanks a lot of being part of the mexican dubbing. We do this job with all the heart and all the passion that we have. And I think I speak for all involved in this industry. We are glad to note that there are so many people from other countries that are watching these new projects in another language. So I have no words but thanks a lot.”

INTERVIWER: “What would be your ideal ending for Dean Winchester”

MEMO “I think, for all of them, they have sacrificed their lives and that of their loved ones for the safety and well being of everyone else. I think if anyone deserves to be well, happy, and calm, at least it’s those three (Sam, Cas, and Dean).”

INTERVIEWER: “What about jack?”

MEMO “Jack did attach himself to them, but I think he could find happiness in another nest.” *laughs*

#destiel #spanish dub #guillermo rojas #supernatural #there we go feast my people FEAST

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pbscore · 2 years

Text

Your nostalgia is not more important than actual human lives. In fact, your nostalgia is probably lying to you in ways that continuously reinforce this false sense of security in your mind that does not allow you to engage with reality in a meaningful way, completely outside of your own interests.

This isn’t about trauma or neurodivergency or ‘special interests’, anymore. This is about real shit that’s happening to real people, including people you may really care about or support. This is about how your lack of conviction to do the right thing will inevitably end up hurting people who are already struggling, as well as yourself once the oppressive forces are done smiting their primary targets.

Harry Potter will never be more important than the lives of trans people, people of color, Jewish people, or disabled/neurodivergent people. And no amount of excusing your personal enjoyment of it will make those of us who are past this idolization of our nostalgic media interests take your ‘activism’ or ‘support’ of these groups seriously.

And that’s completely on you and your refusal to do what is actually right over what you ‘feel’ is right.

Your nostalgia lies in ways that will keep you from pushing the boundaries of critical thinking and to constantly use your neurodivergency as a reason is not only reinforcing the idea that people like us can’t think for ourselves, it keeps us from exploring new and important ideas outside of our personal interests that affect other people.

It keeps us from building real, tangible social bonds with other people. It keeps us relegated to an ‘inner world’ that, while ‘safe’ to us, can keep us from using our compassion and sense of justice in an effective way to help support those who are clearly in need of it.

And I get it. I was a part of the early tumblr fandom phase that celebrated introvertedness and talked about being ‘different’ from the norm. I was intensely into Marvel and kpop, always trying to find myself in those pieces of media. I wanted to be a part of communities that wouldn’t reject me for my awkwardness as a neurodivergent person.

But then, I realized just how deeply that way of thinking made me internalize so many unhealthy ideas about socializing with others. It built a false sense of ‘superiority’ over others just because I was ‘nerdy’ and didn’t act like ‘other’ people. Eventually, I ended up alone in those thoughts and had to come to terms with the fact that as much as I may have known about Marvel, it didn’t matter if I couldn’t even see the worth in my own family members or friends who were struggling with real world issues to support me, while I could be off in my little fantasy worlds, ‘safe’ from reality.

My nostalgia kept me from pushing through my own negative self-image and maladaptive coping tendencies. It took until now, at 25, for me to ‘catch up’ with myself, handle whatever trauma and other personal issues I had, and learn about people without making it about myself and my own interests. I learned how to set boundaries while also respecting other people’s. I made it a point to start being the friend/family member that showed up to support the people I care about in their endeavors. I found new things to get interested in. I met new people. I started new hobbies to occupy my time instead of being online all day.

Had I kept giving into my nostalgia, constantly making excuses as to why I needed to keep folding things from my childhood around me in order to just exist, I would not have done the work (and yes, it is hard work but it’s worth it) to face my own fears, explore who I really was outside of just my interests, and reach my hand out to make community bonds with other people looking for genuine, positive connections, free of drama and senseless ‘discourse’ that only exists in an online sphere.

Nostalgia can feel good because it reminds you of those moments in your life when you did feel the safest and didn’t have to put in the effort to be ‘accepted’. I understand that and it’s a big reason why I’m invested in making children’s media: because I want to share those moments with all children and give them a sense of safety and community.

However, allowing that nostalgia to completely rule my life and every aspect of my being to the point where valid criticism of something I once loved makes me too defensive to recognize that other people are being negatively impacted by it will inevitably put me at odds with my own morals and pursuit of justice for those who are suffering.

Now, if something is revealed to be made by someone who supports genuine bigotry, I drop it and move on. Of course it can be difficult depending on how invested I was or how impactful that piece of media was to me. However, in the end, I know for a fact that there will always be millions of other human beings creating things free of those bigoted ideas and those are the folks I’m willing to put all of my support behind, especially when it comes to minorities who rarely get to share their own stories.

Stop letting your nostalgia keep you from growing and thinking outside of yourself. Stop letting it lead you on a leash and determine your activism and morals. Doing what needs to be done in order to keep marginalized people safe is going to require some sort of sacrifice and if all that’s being sacrificed is dedication to some book or tv show or comic or movie… then you need to realize that it’s a far smaller sacrifice than the sacrifices that marginalized people have to make regarding their safety, everyday, just to live.

EDIT: yes, this can be reblogged.

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