#we mesh very well when it comes to vacations

[gurugirl]

A Good Boy | The Video

stepmom!reader x stepson!harry

Summary: Back at home after Greece Y/n and Leo have a serious talk about Parker and things seem to go well. But then something unexpected comes up that could blow Harry and Y/n's cover.

Word Count: 3.9k

Warning: 18+ only, smut, flufffffffff, tiny bit of angst

A Good Boy Masterlist

Y/n was glad she had the excuse of Parker for why she wasn’t going to be getting into bed with Leo anymore. She was glad to have some time before she and Harry finally had to tell him everything. She didn’t want to deal with the fallout. She would but that wasn’t something she was looking forward to.

The plan was Harry would graduate first and then they’d tell Leo. Harry just had to finish out his current semester and then one more after. That was it. They were so close.

“Let’s talk about what we should do,” Leo said as Y/n unpacked her things. She had her suitcase opened on the bench at the foot of her bed as she looked up at her husband.

“Sure. Do you want to do it now?”

Leo stepped into her room and ran a hand through his hair, a lot like the way Harry did it. That was one thing, Harry did have a lot of small habits that reminded her of Leo. Not that that was a bad thing, but it was something. Always a reminder of what she was doing.

Leo sat at the edge of her bed and looked down at his hands, “Like I said. I’m sorry this happened. I don’t even know how it happened. It started off just like anything else. Meaningless. Just the usual, you know?” He looked at her with his brows raised.

“Yeah. Of course. I get it.”

“And I know this isn’t fair to you so whatever you want, you’ll get it. Just tell me what you want that will make you happy. What are your terms?” Y/n tossed her mesh travel laundry bag onto the floor and then sat down next to Leo, taking his hand in hers, “Well, you already know there’s no more sex. If you’re really serious about Parker then I don’t want to get in the way. Maybe I’ll go out more so you can bring her here if you want. I just… I’m not mad. I hope you know that.”

He nodded, “I’m actually really surprised you’re not more upset. I feel so awful. I do feel deeply for you, still, Y/n. You’re so special to me. You always have been. It’s why I wanted you as my wife.”

“I know, Leo. We had some times. I think we might consider divorce down the road. When you feel it’s good timing for you. How do you feel about that?”

Leo sighed and shook his head, “I did not want to have this happen but I understand it’s what’s fair. And I’ll make sure you’re taken care of too, okay? Whatever you need or want.”

They finished the conversation on a positive note. It felt good to get some of the things out of the way. Of course, the biggest thing was that she was fucking his son and had fallen in love and everything that she might want, she was sure she could kiss goodbye once Leo learned of their affair. But none of that really mattered. Y/n just wanted to be with Harry. Despite any consequences.

I’m coming over.

Y/n texted Harry as she packed an overnight bag. Leo wanted to have Parker over, which he wound up telling her at the end of their conversation. She didn’t want to stick around for that awkward encounter and anyway, preferred being with Harry even if it was in his small bed in his dorm room.

Harry had a quick wank (because that was necessary in case they had sex, which he was sure they would, so he wouldn’t come too fast with her like he tended to) and then waited nervously for her to arrive. He knew that she and his dad had a serious conversation and while he was sure it had nothing to do with himself, he still wondered what it entailed. But even more than that he just wanted her to himself.

Greece had been amazing. The vacation had turned out very differently than Harry imagined when they first arrived. It ended with Y/n finally telling him her true feelings and them promising to be together. But as nice as the vacation had turned, things were still difficult for the pair when it came to being alone together with Leo around. And now he’d finally have her to himself. No worries about anyone walking in on them or overhearing them (or if someone did overhear them it wouldn’t be his dad and so it didn’t matter).

She arrived with her bag and a big smile.

Harry scooped her into his arms and pressed his face into her neck, “Can you just stay with me from now on?”

Y/n laughed and patted Harry’s back as she dropped her bag onto the floor, “Maybe. I’ll be here with you a lot more. But we still have to keep everything quiet until we tell Leo.”

She told him about her conversation with Leo. How well it went, “And Parker’s going over there tonight so… I don’t think Leo’s going to be thinking much about me.”

Harry grabbed her hips softly and pinned his eyes to hers as he shook his head, “I can’t imagine how he could let you go like that. I feel lucky that I get to have you but I’m just shocked.”

Harry followed her closely, pawing at her and touching her as she changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, “You act like we haven’t seen one another in weeks!” She laughed.

He sat on his bed and pulled her arm, stuffing his nose and cheeks into her stomach, “Just felt nervous when you went home with him. Still feels like anything could happen and then that’s it. You’ll change your mind and realize you’re nuts for doing this.”

Y/n paused and fit her fingers into his hair and scraped his scalp, “Harry,” she let her nails travel down his neck and to his shoulder blades, “Look at me.”

He craned his neck back and looked up at her with his arms still around her.

“I love you. Do you believe me when I tell you that?”

He nodded and then shoved his face back into her stomach causing her to laugh, “Hey,” She took a hand out of his hair and brought it down to his chin to push his face upward so he could look at her, “I’m not going anywhere. I need you to believe me and trust me okay? Are you having second thoughts about this?”

Harry blinked his eyes and pulled her down to the bed with him, both lying together on their sides. He cupped her face and pressed his mouth to hers before backing away, “No. Of course not.”

Smiling she held onto his forearms, “Okay. Then that clears it all up. We’re both doing this. We’re crazy about each other and we’re crazy for doing this but it’s not gonna stop us.”

Harry’s desperate pawing turned into him begging her to pull her panties down for him. He’d gotten her out of her sweatpants not long after she put them on by telling her he needed to warm his face up.

“Oh, you want to warm up your face? Okay. You can take my sweatpants off.” She laughed and he was quick to nuzzle into her thighs and rub his cheeks and nose against her white panties.

She loved how much he was like a puppy with her sometimes. So needy. She ran her fingers through his hair as he kissed over her clothed mound and nosed at her. She watched Friends on TV but she was quite distracted by Harry’s soft touches and the way he was pressing his mouth over her clit. But once he started licking her panties she couldn’t pay attention to what was on TV at all.

Harry wanted her focused on him. Needed to have her attention on him. And when he felt her panties start to grow slick (and not from his saliva), he looked up at her and laid his cheek on her thigh, “Can I take them off?” He plucked at the waistband of her panties as he asked.

And how was she really going to say no to him? He’d sufficiently gotten her all worked up with his nosing and mouthing and licking so she grinned and scraped his scalp with her fingers, “And what will you do when my panties come off? Hmm?”

Harry slid his finger under the elastic and looked up at her from his spot on her thigh, “Make you feel good. I’ll be good for you. Please?”

Y/n cooed and brushed her fingers over his face and watched as he closed his eyes under her touch, “You’re always so good for me, baby. Is that what you want?”

He nodded and popped his eyes open again, “Yes. Please. Can I?”

Smiling down at her lanky man she nodded, “Of course. You’re my good boy. Go ahead.”

Harry grunted as he moved himself and sat up so he could pull at her panties. She watched his long fingers drag her panties down her legs and then he leaned over her to kiss her lips as she slid a finger through her silky folds.

“I got you wet,” he grinned as he backed away from the kiss and lowered back between her legs.

She huffed a laugh. He was proud of himself. But of course, he got her worked up. She loved him and he was sensual and vulnerable and everything she ever wanted in a man.

But her laugh caught in her throat when Harry cupped his lips around her pussy and licked up and down her crease before dipping a finger inside of her.

She had her knees bent and thighs spread with her feet flat on the mattress as Harry laid flush on his tummy and sucked and licked through her sticky pussy.

Grabbing ahold of the back of his head she leaned back into the headboard and panted her word, “Oh god, yes…”

Just like she taught him, he paid most of his attention to her clit. His deep pink lips were wet as he looked up at her and kissed her pussy softly. Her breath hitched when he pulled at her clit and flicked his tongue back and forth.

“Feel better already…” he mumbled into her cunt.

“What was that, baby?” She asked breathily, unable to understand his words.

He lifted his face, “I feel better already. Needed you,” he dropped his mouth back down and closed his eyes as he licked and kissed and then went in with an open mouth and sucked.

He pressed in another two fingers and she moaned loudly, her hands still at the back of his head as she pulled him in closer.

“Just like that, Harry. Right there, fuck right there…” she closed her eyes and dropped her head back into the wood behind her. Harry’s slurps and the sound of his fingers inside of her just underscored the way her insides were rising and falling and her orgasm was approaching.

She groaned and gasped as Harry tongued and fingered and kissed. She didn’t know if she should be proud of herself for teaching him the best techniques or if she should be proud of him for picking it up so fast. He was thrusting his fingers into her squishy spot and pulling at her clit as if he knew how it made her feel – as if he could feel it himself. Because it was perfection.

“Ohhh, ffff!” She cried out and her legs snapped closed around Harry’s head as he continued his task. His free hand pulled at one of her thighs to keep her steady as she started to come on his face.

He moaned into her pussy when he felt her clenching around his fingers and he rutted down into the mattress, seeking a small bit of relief for his hard cock.

Y/n’s fingers were holding tight to his hair as she unraveled under his tongue. Her body slumped down and her legs trembled as Harry continued pressing his tongue over her clit and fingering her deeply.

It took a moment for Y/n to open her eyes. She was breathing hard and smiled at Harry as he lay next to her and kissed her arm and her shoulder softly, “You are so good at that, baby. God…” she moaned.

Harry pushed himself up so he could look down at her as he slid his hand under her t-shirt, “My cock is so achy. Please can I,” his fingers found her breast and he palmed over it, “…be inside of you?”

His smirk led Y/n to believe that he was just teasing her with his passive act. He knew what he was doing. He knew she wouldn’t say no. She loved the way he begged, though and he knew it.

“You wanna fuck my hole, make your achiness go away?” Y/n smiled at him teasingly in return.

Harry puffed out a laugh and nodded as he began to unbutton his pants, “Yes ma’am. Need it really bad. Your pussy is the only one that can make it better.”

Y/n sat up and laughed, “Well then you better get to it.”

Harry’s pants and underwear were pulled off his legs and he hovered over Y/n with a big smile as he slotted his hips between hers. She arched her back and tilted her hips up for him as he pressed the tip of his dick into her slowly.

“Oh fuck…” he groaned lowly as Y/n hissed at the intrusion. She was still a touch sensitive but it felt good having him inside of her in a place where they could both make noise and not worry about Leo overhearing them.

Of course, even though he’d jerked himself off before she arrived he was sure he’d still come too fast. Eating her out had him reeling and leaking before he’d even gotten inside of her. So he went slow and kept stuttering his hips and halting his thrusts, “You feel so good, Y/n.”

She moaned and arched her back toward him, “Yeah? Feels good inside of me?”

He nodded and began to cant his hips again, grinding into her and grinning as she gasped at how deep his tip reached into her.

“Is it good for you, Y/n? Does my cock make you feel good?”

She cooed and nodded, “Just listen to that… how wet I am? That’s all because of you baby. Best I’ve ever had.”

Harry groaned and pressed his mouth over hers as he rocked into her slowly. His balls were nudging into her ass every time he bottomed out and it felt amazing. His cock had never had it so good.

His small bed creaked loudly as he began to fuck into her with more force, more hunger. And the new pace had Y/n’s arousal building again. Every time he ground himself against her as he buried himself in she rocked her own hips up toward him, feeling her clit against his pelvis.

Over and over again, the pressure on her slick pussy and on her clit had her dripping and moaning, clenching around him tightly and pulling him in.

They kept their mouths connected as they made love, and Harry slid himself out and then pushed back in wetly. “Ohh, ffff… Harry!” Y/n panted against his lips at one particularly punishing thrust. He’d been grazing into her cervix but the sudden erratic plunge was sharp and made her feel like she was being split in half.

“S’that hurt, love?” Harry looked down at her with his brows pinched together as he gently rocked into her.

“You got in there really deep, baby. It’s okay. You can’t help it, I know,” Y/n brushed his hair from his forehead as they kept their eyes locked.

“I’ll be easier with you, like this,” he licked his lips and rolled into her languidly, still deep but less erratic so that every time he sunk into her fully she didn’t feel that sharp pain punching into her insides.

Y/n moaned and held onto his shoulders as he circled his hips and undulated himself into her. But it was hard to hold back. Harry wanted to hammer into her and stuff her with his come, but more than that he wanted her to orgasm first. The way her warmth swallowed him, the way her pussy gripped him… she deserved another orgasm but it was difficult when he was already shaking and his cock was twitching at the nearness of his own release.

He stopped for a moment and lifted upward so he could see her body. He palmed over her soft breasts and looked into her eyes, “I want you to come again.” He lowered one hand to her clit and rubbed in circles with decadent pressure.

“Keep doing that…” she panted as she moved her hand down to where his fingers were on her clit and guided him.

Harry squeezed his closed for a moment. He wanted to get her right on the edge and then he’d fuck her until she was coming so he could finally let go.

When she began writhing and moaning and bucking her hips upward Harry felt like he’d been able to regain a bit of composure. He began to fuck into her again, forcing his cock deep and then pulling out nearly to his tip before burying back in and spreading her walls apart. He kept his fingers working her clit as she guided him and her thighs began to shake.

Her pretty breasts rocked in time with her body at each heavy thrust and when he felt her clench hard and her mouth dropped open before she began to cry he knew she was coming. He continued his strokes letting her pulse and gush in her orgasm as she did not hold back her volume.

Harry gritted his teeth and watched her as she orgasmed before he could no longer stop his balls from throbbing and squeezing. He groaned and then gripped her thighs tight as he started to knock into her in long reckless strokes making her cry out louder. He loved the moments when she was coming and he could let loose with his urge to fuck her into oblivion and feel every inch of his cock being milked by her warm, tight hole around him.

“Holy fuck, I’m coming!” He groaned loudly. The bed rocked and skin slapped as Harry finally began to come. The wet sound of Y/n’s pussy getting pounded into sounded glorious to Harry’s ears.

Y/n could hardly make a noise as Harry’s brutal pace had her rocking upward harshly. She breathed through the sharpness of his tip smashing into her deeply and watched his face as he orgasmed, pink lips dropped open, flushed chest, flexing muscles, straining neck… Harry was so sexy when he was coming, she’d never get over it.

When he’d emptied himself completely he panted and pressed his hands into the mattress next to Y/n’s shoulders and smiled down at her lovingly.

She cupped his cheek and wrapped her legs around his hips, “Better, baby?”

He nodded and slowly lowered himself down, pressing his chest into hers as he wrapped his arms around her, “So much better, Y/n. Thank you.”

Cuddled together on Harry’s small bed, Y/n scrolled through social media and random job postings (yes, she needed to start looking for a job) while Harry did a little homework. He had to be in class the following morning.

She saw a notification come in from Marla and switched to her messages to read it.

So I was being nosy and saw this…

Y/n clicked the Instagram link which led to Parker Manera’s page. She had never thought to look at Parker’s Instagram. Didn’t care enough to check it out.

The photo that Marla linked to, however, was concerning.

It was of Parker with her friends smiling at the forefront. They were clearly in a club. The club in Malibu that Y/n had been at not long before going to Greece. And she knew it was that Malibu club because just behind Parker and her girlfriends were Harry and Y/n standing close and looking at each other. It was innocent enough. However, most would question, if they identified Harry and Y/n in the photo, why they were standing so close together amongst people dancing in a club in Malibu. Why would a stepmom and stepson be out together?

But then she swiped left to see the next part included in what Parker had uploaded and this one wasn’t just a photo. It was a short video. A shot of the same photo of Parker and her friends only they were laughing and moving and just behind them, once again, was Harry and Y/n. It didn’t look innocent any longer. The pair were swaying closely, faces angled toward each other in a near kiss, Harry’s hands on her hips. It was an intimate embrace. It was not the way a stepmom and a stepson should behave together.

“What is it?” Harry looked over at what Y/n was watching. He could tell right away that her body language had changed, her muscles tensed.

She handed Harry her phone and showed him the photo first. It took him a few seconds to realize what he was looking at but then he glanced at Y/n in concern.

“That’s not even the bad part,” she said as she swiped over to the video.

Harry hated watching it because he still remembered that night freshly. The way he and Y/n had just broken up and how he was trying to get over her but seeing her at the club drove him mad.

“Do you think my dad has Instagram?” Harry asked.

Y/n shook her head, “I really don’t think so but… just wondering how long it takes Parker to notice us in the background. If she does. Maybe she won’t. Or maybe she already has.”

Harry frowned and looked at the video again as it played on a loop. His mouth against her cheek, the way she was turned toward him. Right before the short video ended it looked like they were about to kiss. They never did but anyone watching the video would assume they had based on the way they were holding each other.

Harry let out a deep breath and leaned his head back into the headboard, “Well then we need to think of something in case he finds out before we’re ready to tell him.”

Y/n put her phone down and took Harry’s hand, leaning into his shoulder, “Whatever happens we’ll be together. Maybe he won’t see it. Maybe Parker won’t recognize us.”

Harry nodded and turned to kiss the top of Y/n’s head.

Maybe they didn’t have as much time as they thought. Maybe they’d have to come clean sooner than they were prepared for. It sucked knowing there was a possibility that someone would tell Leo or that Leo would see that video.

“Yeah. Whatever happens you and I will be in this together,” Harry spoke against her hair and pulled her closer. He hoped things would be okay. Hoped that no matter what happened it would be him and Y/n in the end. No matter what.

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#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #stepmom!reader x stepson!harry #stepson!harry #stepmom!reader #harry edward styles #firstpost #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles fiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles x yn #subrry #subby harry #sub!harry

[thebisexualdogdad]

Can you do more sugar baby evan x sugar daddy male reader

Sugar baby!Evan Buckley x Sugar daddy!male reader

● you met Evan at a bar known for sugar babies looking to find sugar daddies

● he had talked to a few men throughout the night but as soon as he saw you he knew exactly what he wanted

● "haven't seen you around here before," You say when you hand him another glass of the drink you had seen him drinking all night

● "I'm new in town and looking to meet new people"

● "well then why don't we go somewhere more private and get to know each other"

● you got to know each other very well that night

● in just a matter of weeks Evan was enjoying all the benefits of being your sugar baby

● fancy dinners at the most exclusive restaurants while dressed in the nicest suit and ties

● shopping sprees with your credit card

● a brand new luxury car

● and weekend getaways on your private jet

● Evan absolutely loves the water

● he does laps every morning in your pool that overlooks the city

● he always gets out of the pool like a damn model (sometimes he's wearing a very tight speedo and sometimes he's wearing nothing at all)

● which leads to plenty of hot morning sex

● he loves day trips out on your yacht

● not only does he get to go for a swim in the ocean but he also gets pampered by all your staff

● and his favorite vacations are those that are beachside

● Evan loves his designer robe you got him

● he's always sending you pictures of him wearing it, teasing you with his exposed chest

● you'll be in a meeting at work in the middle of the afternoon and you'll get a picture of him with the caption 'just woke up, still thinking of all the fun we had last night''

● he has a huge following on social media

● his thirst traps have accumulated a lot of attention from other sugar babies who want to be like him and sugar daddies who want to date him

● he also posts a lot of pictures bragging about all the expensive gifts you give him

● of course he has plenty of skimpy lingerie he wears for you

● you come home from work and he's walking around your house in just a thong (occasionally paired with a matching corset)

● Evan has the stamina to go all night in the bedroom

● and his oral skills are out of this world

● he will happily spend hours between your legs making you cum again and again

● he knows how much you love his tits and his ass

● so he loves to tease you by showing off his best assets especially in public

● wearing short shorts or tight pants that make his ass look even bigger

● and mesh shirts that you can see his tits through

● you can't even count how many public places you've fucked him in because he makes it so impossible to keep your hands off of him

● Evan spends a lot of time at the gym, you have a home gym in your mansion but he likes going to a private gym with lots of other rich guys you know and make them jealous that they aren't the lucky one dating him

● you get so many texts from them begging to let them take your baby out on a date

● you asked Evan once if it was something that he would be interested in

● but his response was "You're the only daddy that I need"

#911 imagine #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley x reader #x male reader #headcanons

[kyufessions]

summer soccer

synopsis: soobin’s friends don’t believe he’s actually dating someone

pairings: non-idol! soobin x soccer player! g.n. reader

genre: fluff !!

word count: 0.8k

warnings: reader is described as being shorter (5’3 specifically) than soobin

a/n: thought of this dynamic as i watched txt content, soobin’s so cute </3

general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois

“i swear they’re real!” soobin defended himself, a shy smile spreading across his lips at the playful teases from his friends.

“you always do this,” taehyun starts after finishing the last bite of his chicken breast. “you say you’re dating someone but then show us a picture of some random idol.”

yeonjun chuckles at soobin’s dramatic gasp, watching the conversation happen around him for a while in amusement. although he’s not saying anything, he agrees with taehyun’s statement. multiple times they’ve all been excited for soobin when he would tell everyone he has a date or started seeing someone- only to be shown a picture of heo youngji followed by a mischievous giggle. but when the new semester started and everyone met back up from after their summer vacations, soobin admitted he started seeing someone.

“youngji is not a random idol, she’s an icon.” he rebuts before quickly moving on. “and i swear i’m not lying this time. i met them over the summer at the on-campus daycare center.”

“are you dating a dilf or something?” beomgyu asks, earning an elbow nudge from yeonjun.

soobin shakes his head, his bottom lip popping out. “no, as i would close up for the day they’d pass by after soccer practice.”

“you struck up the conversation?” hueningkai chuckled, imagining the shy man approaching literally anyone first.

“they’re an athlete?” yeonjun finally chipped in, his eyes widening with curiosity and shock.

soobin’s cheeks reddened as his eyes drifted to the wooden table below him, his dimples popping out more prominently. “they’re one of the top athletes, and not necessarily. they were walking in the rain with nothing but a bag over their head so i walked them to their dorm with my umbrella.”

“gentleman soob.” beomgyu teased, nudging him with a foolish grin. he watched as soobin rolled his eyes, his arms crossing over his chest in embarrassment. “when can we meet them?”

eyes darting to his phone to check the time, he starts stuffing his notebook and pens in his backpack. “i’m supposed to meet them in ten minutes after soccer practice, we can all walk there together?”

-

luckily, todays practice was easier than others. you weren’t sure if it was the cooling weather that made the suicide dribbles easier to accomplish or if it was the adrenaline rush you were getting from seeing soobin today. with the big game coming up and a new school semester, you hadn’t seen soobin within the past week. to say you missed him was an understatement and to finally be able to see him again- to hear his voice right in front of you instead of a phone speaker, is enough adrenaline to fuel a bullfighter.

as the five minute mark hit before practice was over, you spotted your boyfriend from the bleachers waving at you enthusiastically. your friends watched as you returned it, then laughed at you being scolded by the coach for doing so. some people might’ve not known it was their partner waving, or even be too shy to wave back, but you could tell it was him from a thousand miles away.

when practice finished up, you quickly scurried over to your bag and started packing your items as your friends spoke.

“you know, at first i didn’t know what you saw in soobin.” one of your friends commented as she sat down on the bench.

you didn’t give her a glance, just a mere giggle. “why?”

“you guys are just really different.”

“how-“

“the dynamic between you two is very different but it’s cute- you guys mesh well together.” she interrupted as she tied up her changed shoes. “a 5’3 soccer player and a 6’1 education major who seems to be bad at sports.”

you looked at her shocked as you threw your bag over your shoulder, adjusting the straps. “how would you know he’s bad at sports?” you knew he was, but how did she know that?

“i saw you trying to teach him how to dribble one afternoon before practice. told me everything i need to know.”

you just laughed before parting ways, running as fast as you can to the other side of the field where soobin sat in the bleachers. as you approached closer, he and his friends walked down to greet you in the grass- well, soobin ran while the others walked but same thing. the smile never dissipated from either one of your faces, cheeks and ears red from pure joy.

hueningkai leaned up against the metal bars behind him as you both hugged, tsk’ing at the scene out of disbelief. “wow, he wasn’t lying this time.”

“i know,” taehyun replied as he finally made it to the ground. “and the star soccer player too. i’m shocked.”

yeonjun nodded, watching you both talk over each other before started to meet them halfway. “good for him, it’s about time.”

“i can’t believe i’m the only bitchless person left.” beomgyu mumbled, dragging his feet along the field.

#kyufessions txt #txt #soobin #choi soobin #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin drabble #soobin fluff #txt soobin fluff #tomorrow x together soobin #soobin drabbles #soobin x reader

[belethlegwen]

Hell Of A Vision

So now that they're currently on a flight back to a place way too far away from me, I just wanted to make a post to say that myself and @adjacentperception just had an amazing six weeks together.

Originally going to be a two week vacation, their boss encouraged them to put in a form to work internationally from home so we could get a bit of a domestic snapshot for what things would be like if* (*=when) they move here.

It was incredible. It was beautiful. It vibed and meshed so easily, so well, for six whole weeks that the fact they have to leave even if only for less than a year feels cruel and stupid. We fit together, we had such an amazing time. I got to show them so much of what I love of my home, I got to introduce them to my immediate family and most of my friends. It was phenomenal.

I also asked them to marry me.

They said yes.

Of all the things I thought my silly writing could lead to, I never thought it could lead to something like this. I never thought I'd find someone who loves to write, who loves to write with me, who loves to play and create together in such a beautifully unique way. I've never been loved by someone so strongly, so completely, so expansively. We share our loves and our passions with each other and we fit together like puzzle pieces in so many remarkable ways.

I love them so deeply and thoroughly and I feel like there's so many more ways I could love them.

They also make the best soups. The BEST. There was so much soup had here. They taught me to make biscuits and gravy. They made me their famous and incredible spaghetti, the very same spaghetti they were making the day they first messaged me.

We have a story we're working on that's coming together, and we're hoping to be able to post at least the first few chapters of it within the next few months if things go well. G/t, obviously, and we think some folks in the community will really like it.

I'm very excited to catch up on everything that I've been missing out on while I was in my domestic bliss over here, now that I have a big ol' pile of sadness to work through while we finalize on the big move together. Y'all have been putting out amazing stuff for G/tober and even before that! So many stories to hopefully sit down and read!

Anyway, I just wanted to share a little update on our lives and what's been going on with y'all <3 It's also helping me battle the sadtimes right now while they're on a flight and I've got an empty bed waiting for me.

Love you all, be safe, be kind, be you <3

~ Belle

#slice of life #love and stuff #writing #love #g/t #giant/tiny #giant tiny #g/t author #g/t writing #gtauthor #author thoughts #gt #big little thoughts #probably going to schedule this to post in the morning just because I don't wanna cry if I roll over and check tumblr and see it tonight #I am a wiener who cries at everything #Very excited to see if we can get some good chapters of our story carved out and ready to post for y'all <3 #In the meantime I do have some chapters of Rescue ready to edit #Hopefully will be posting again before Christmas but December is insanity and November is NaNoWriMo #I will do what I can though! #Love y'all goodnight <3

[risingsouls]

🦎 + how have your holidays been?

A 🦎 for My Stupid Thoughts || Always Accepting!

[Aha. Honestly? Pretty rough. Could have been worse, I guess, but my family pulling some bullshit this year really just...ruined the season for me. If you don't want a long vent that I feel I need to get off my chest, stop reading here and know that my answer is basically could have been worse but not great. But I guess I'd you're curious about me really seeing very clearly where I stand in my family, feel free to read on.

So basically I'll start with this has honestly probably been a long time coming. The differences between me and most of my family, especially the particular clan in question (which, for reference, is basically my oldest brother, his kids, along with my older brother's girlfriend and his oldest son's girlfriend at least; a few other S/Os are newer to the mix, but im sure theyre getting the same bs fed to them as everyone else considering how they operate) have just become more and more glaring over the years. Whether that's politics and general human decency to basic shit like interests and just personalities not meshing. Shit you can generally most past but after a while and a few incidences in recent years (especially this year) I've just....decided I don't care to care any more. If their opinion of me is so low, I don't care to try and change it or entertain being around people who don't care for me.

I'll keep things reserved to this year because they're the most relevant. Back in July, we all went on vacation as a family. We've done it plenty of times before, and besides minor hiccups and one major moment of gross racism and just general bullshit that is probably what really opened my eyes to how this particular sect believes and operates (i.e. i called my older nephew, ill call him T for the sake of clarity, out for some racist comment but somehow i was the one that ended up the bad guy and bullied/laughed out of the cabin; i got onto my niece, I'll call her D, for acting like a horrible and entitled brat to literally everyone because her dad wasnt doing it and, again, i was the bad guy. Keep this pattern in mind), nothing unexpected took place on these trips. We moved on from the situations for the sake of family.

This year, however was just....too much. I'll start with the initial shit I knew on the ground and move into what I found out after concerning this situation. For this vacation, we were all renting a cabin at a lake for the week, something we've done plenty of times before and had a good time. Unfortunately, T's gf, A, had just gotten a new job, so they couldn't make it up to join us until Wednesday evening (we checked in Sunday night). Which was fine. We were happy they could come at all.

A few days before we went, me, my parents, and my brother (W) and his gf (C) were discussing vacation and got on the topic of deciding which rooms we wanted to some degree. It was decided that, since my parents, W and C like to get up early for breakfast, they would take the two rooms on the main floor. I asked if I could have one of the two rooms on the top floor because there would be a lot of kids around, I'm not the biggest fan of kids, and I just need my space in general from EVERYONE from time to time and didn't want to be in the basement where the kids were likely going to be most of the time (there was a TV, a pool table, and other like kid friendly features down there for them to occupy themselves). Everyone agreed that that would be fine so I was content.

Well, as shit usually goes with this family, that's not what ended up happening. W and C got there first and they decided to take one of the upstairs bedrooms. D and her boyfriend got there next and took the other upstairs room. So I was pissed about it because I had specifically asked for one of those rooms with W and C there and knowing what was going on. So when I confronted W about it when we arrived at the cabin, he threw D, his own DAUGHTER, under the bus for taking the other room when, in reality, him and C were the obvious problem here. I wasn't mad at D in the slightest and it made sense that they took the upstairs room they did because it had a pull out couch for her bf's kids. I didn't care about that. I was pissed at W and C who KNEW I called an upstairs room but decided to take it anyway. And I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but, for context, this is what always happens to me, I'm guess because I'm single with no kids and am generally just quiet and keep to myself, even when I am upset about shit: what I want or even need is completely shoved aside to appease everyone else, and usually because it doesn't quite fit in with what someone else in the family wants to do. As I said, I usually keep quiet, but I did make it known that I was pissed off and just went to wait on the balcony for everyone to pick their rooms, saying I would just do like I usually did and take what was left over. Of course, I ended up in the basement and was constantly bothered by the kids when I was trying to have any time to myself. But I got over it and moved on.

On top of all this, that portion of the family was just....really hostile to me, my other two brothers, and my parents. For literally no reason. Some specific examples: W and C just basically avoided me the rest of the time, and they made it really awkward and apparent they didn't want to be around me or talk to me, even when I made the effort at civility. C acted like a child most of the time, including walking away from a conversation when my mom mentioned something miniscule about gun control (because that was what got brought up, and not by us btw) to refusing to help us clean up the day we left and basically just not talking to anyone on Friday when we all took the boat out on the lake. T and A got there Wednesday night and brought stuff for smores. That was the night I was sickest with covid and the next day didn't have the energy to go to an amusement park with the rest of them, so me, my parents and brother stayed behind. When they got home, T and W first bitched at my mom for the beer being gone (literally only my dad out of all of us was drinking that week, and he wasn't drinking throughout the day like they seemed to want to accuse him and the rest of us of) and then he and A bitched her more because the chocolate for smores was gone and they supposedly brought that "only for the kids." For reference, I saw only a bar and a half left from the night before that, no one told anyone it was just for the kids, and we were all under the impression that, like the rest of the food, we were all sharing all of it. And, compared to the few packages of full size bars they brought, we in no way pigged out while they were gone like they seemed to think and this really upset my mom for good reason as we literally did nothing wrong. These two were also just generally snotty the whole time over stupid little things like the fact that we didn't want to go to the amusement park for our various reasons, most of which was we were sick or just getting over the worst part of being sick, but I guess that didn't matter.

So finally it was all over and I couldn't be happier to fo tf home. However, I found out after the fact that D had cried the night we got there because she thought I was mad at her for taking one of the upstairs rooms. Of course, no one talked to me about it as it always goes and I felt horrible because I was in no way pissed at her (I texted her and let her know that, too, and explained what actually happened). But what was really telling and just really gross about that whole thing was that W and C were completely okay with not only throwing me under the bus to save their own asses but to also throw D, his DAUGHTER'S, ass under the bus and risk ruining my relationship with her just so they could appear faultless and get their way in this situation. They were okay make ME look like the bitch and asshole when I really wasn't at fault at all in that situation. But of course, that part of the family only got W and C's side of the story. Which is important for this more recent bit that really just cemented my discontent.

Fast forward to December. Every year, we do a little secret Santa gift exchange on Christmas eve in the evening. We discussed it on Thanksgiving with everyone and that's what we all agreed was what we would do this year. We even use a gift exchange app that I put all the info into that they could look at to see the when and what time at any point. Come about two weeks beforehand and T texts our group chat asking what day we were doing it, and that he and A planned to go to her family's party in the afternoon/evening on Christmas eve. I'm sitting with my parents at the time and we're all just kind of like seriously? We had this all planned. So I texted back saying we planned on doing it in the evening on Christmas eve like we always have. His response was a half asses excuse that they thought the fate set on the app was just a placeholder, and that he guessed they would make it by if they made it by. He also tried to guilt us by playing the "we have multiple places to go" card. I could tell my mom was upset about it even if she acted like it was fine. This is what literally all of them do when my parents try to plan a family thing: they treat it as what feels like an afterthought and/or the last stop behind everyone else every time. I know it hurts my mom, I've watched it my whole life since I was little and I had just had enough.

So, me being me, I confronted T about it. I basically said you know this is kind of bs because we've had this planned for a month now but you guys couldn't have worked around what was already planned and instead expect my parents to work around you all like we always have to do. I told him that it was really unfair to my parents and that he was hurting them, not me (as he seemed to think I was mad for ME) by not coming. Well he didn't like that and went off again about needing to go to multiple places--which I do get btw. He then had the audacity to bring up the vacation fiasco, throwing the room thing in my face and calling me selfish and a problem for making a big deal "out of nothing." Remember, he was not there when any of this took place nor did he ever ask me or anyone else about what happened, save for probably W and C. I basically ended the conversation there, telling him to stfu about shit he doesn't know the full story about and I just reiterated again that, by not coming, it's his grandparents he's hurting (who he claimed, BTW, were the only people he would come for at all), not me, and was done with it. To top it off, my dad talked to him the next day about it because they didn't want any hard feelings and to set T straight about what actually happened on vacation. T said he knew he shouldn't have brought that up and said he would text me to apologize. Guess what he didn't do? Unsurprising to me at least.

So I just basically said I wasn't doing the family Christmas shit this year. I literally sat in my room with the dogs and played pokemon. Was that petty? Maybe. But I didn't really want to he around any of them after all the shit they've pulled not only this year but throughout my life. Nobody asked about me while they were there. Nobody came to talk to me or wish me merry Christmas. Nobody cared that I wasn't there for the holiday (save for my parents). My younger nephew was literally the only person to ask me why I wasn't there and show any sign that he noticed when I came down after everyone left. It was just the nail in the coffin of confirming that I'm not wanted or liked when it comes to that sect of the family. They could literally care less if I'm around and it really showed this holiday season. It has made me even more eager to fucking move away from here and maybe never come back.

So, in short, as is probably typical, my family ruined my Christmas for me. I didn't get to enjoy my family like I would hope to because they suck. But maybe it's for the best. Its given me new strength to just do what's best for me and what I'm comfortable with rather than stomaching people's presence that I don't really want to stomach. And I know this is definitely like. First world problems when it comes to family because I know people that have SO MUCH WORSE grievances with family than me but...yeah. it comes down to I'm really just sick of certain members of my family treating not only me but especially my parents like absolute dog shit for NO reason. And no one ever says anything because ether don't want to cause problems. But I guess if no one else will, ill put on the bitch crown they've put on me anyway and stand up for myself and them. I'm just beyond done]

#.:ask:. #.:ooc:. #long post #sorry about the vent #its been festering for weeks so #oops

[beckettclic286]

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[barbaragordoff]

me: wants to relax during the lunar new year break

also me: plans something for literally every day but one

#to be fair #its nine days long #and four are a trip to xiaoliuqiu #two are dnd days with friends #one is my covid booster #and the other is a friends birthday #the friend im going to xiaoliuqiu with and i were like #were definitely gonna have a day where we just lay on the beach and drink wine and dont do much haha #we mesh very well when it comes to vacations

[solarwonux]

28. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

50.  “I’m not going to touch you, we’re in public”

vernon x f!reader

w.c: 1.5k

warnings: fluff, smut, public sex?? kinda, fingering, breast play, orgasm denial if you squint. and minimal editing.

note: hello, I hope you enjoy this one. Thank you so much for reading this and please let me know your thoughts.Just a heads up I’m going on vacation tomorrow so there won’t be an upload tomorrow. So I shall see you all on Monday. 

p.s. send me a prompt for either svt or bts heheheh.xxx

Masterlist || Prompts

No drinking tonight.

At least that’s what you told yourself before stepping foot into your best friend’s house. The minute you walked in, a red solo cup made its way into your hand, soon, one tequila shot turned into two, then three, then four. Until you were standing in front of the tv, toy microphone in your hand as you tried your very best to remember the lyrics to Baby by Justin Bieber.

It was no use, your mind was fuzzy and the words had started to bleed into one another in your head. But you were determined, there was no way in hell you would let Kwon Soonyoung beat you at karaoke, not when he was far drunker than you. At least you still had control of your limbs, he on the other hand could barely keep himself from falling every few seconds.

“If I win you’re going to have to kiss me.” He slurred, pointing his microphone at you.

Disgusted, you furrowed your brows. Newfound determination surging through your alcohol-filled veins. “In your dreams, Hoshi, my lips are staying far away from yours.”

“That’s what you said last time.” He turned his attention to the tv, the countdown displayed. Three, “I hope you moisturized them well enough for me, I don’t want to be kissing the Sahara desert.”

Two, you scoff, “that was one time.” You raise the mic up to your lips, squinting. The brightness of the screen felt like it was burning you blind, but you were motivated to finally beat Soonyoung at his own game.

One, “and it was the worst moment of my life.”

Start, “You know you love me I-”

Vernon steps in front of the tv, arms spread out wide, blocking the disappearing words. “Move Vernon!” You stand on your toes trying to look over his shoulder, his outstretched arms wrap around your shoulders turning you away from the screen. “What the fuck Vernon, I’m going to lose.”

Quietly he takes the mic from your hands handing it to Soonyoung and pushes you out of the living room, “You need to sober up.” He whispers ledding you out of the house and into the backyard.

You huff, crossing your arms in front of you and stomping your feet. This is the main reason why you didn’t want to drink. You always turned into a whining, overly, competitive, overly emotional child, and Vernon was always stuck taking care of you. As much as it annoyed him, to nurse you every time it happened. He would never complain, he found it amusing and adorable.

“I’m not that drunk.” You whisper, looking down at your feet, ashamed, toeing with the clean-cut grass underneath you.

Vernon chuckles and grabs your arm, leading you slowly to the porch swing facing away from the house where the two of spent the first thirty minutes of the party making out. Hidden away from everyone. “You were about to kiss Soonyoung, you are very much drunk.” He puts his hands on your shoulders, guiding you to sit down, while you complain.

He crouches down in front of you, placing a water bottle and some painkillers in your hand. “Drink.”

“I wasn’t going to.” You uncap the water bottle and throw your head back downing the pills quickly. “I was going to win.” You say, then taking another swing of water, chugging it like you haven’t had anything to drink in years.

Vernon smiles, putting his hand at the end of the bottle, “Alright slow down, water is not what I want you to choke on.” He smirks. Your eyes grow wide, and before you could stop it, you were spitting water in his face.

“Vern, oh my god, I’m sorry.” You put the bottle down and look around for something to dry his face, while he threw his head back laughing. “You can’t say things like that.” You groan, covering your face with your hands, embarrassed.

Laughing, he moves your hands from your face, his lips close to yours. “Why not, no ones around? I don’t have to watch my mouth when it’s just us.”

You turn your head sucking in a breath. Though your head still felt fuzzy you weren’t as drunk anymore. His words and piercing stare were enough to sober you up, at least enough to feel how wet you were between your legs. 

He places his hand on the back of your neck, his breath hits your lips. “What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?” He kisses you lightly. His lips barely molding into yours, knowing it would leave you wanting more.

“N-Nothing,” you wrap your arms around his neck, attempting to bring him closer. He resists, resting his hands on your waist and tilting his head curiously, his thumb playing with the hem of your crop top.

“If you tell me I’ll forgive you for ever wanting to kiss Soonyoung.”

“I wasn’t going to kiss him, I was going to win!” You pout.

He leans in, “We both know that’s not true, you can barely do simple math when drunk.” His lips were so close you could lick them if you were to stick out your tongue. As much as you wanted to, you pushed down the idea, knowing that Vernon wouldn’t be happy if you did.

“I can barely do simple math when I’m sober, your argument is invalid.” Cheekily you pluck his beanie from his head, throwing it aside. “Now please touch me.” You say, running your hands through his hair, swiping your tongue slowly over your lips.

He stands up from his crouching position and sits down next to you. “I’m not going to touch, we’re in public.” He snakes an arm around your shoulder, tugging you close to the side of his body. “Now don’t make a sound, unless you want me to punish you here where someone can see if they were to just walk over.” He moves your leg, putting it over his lap.

You rest your head on top of his shoulder, “fuck, okay, I need you, please.”

“Patience my good girl.” He smiles kissing the top of your head. “Now open your legs a little more for me.” You oblige, sitting up a little straighter, while his hand travels down your body, sneaking its way inside your shirt and cupping your boob. You let out a low whine when he pinches your nipple through the lace of your thin bra.

A few times during the night he could see your nipples peeking through, making his mouth water. He had slapped Wonwoo a few times up the head for staring, sending him a warning glare that made Wonwoo shake his head in disbelief. He had to control himself from pulling you into one of the vacant rooms and taking you against the door so everyone could hear how good he made you feel. “What do you want me to do?” He pulled on your nipple once more, distracting you from the way he toyed with the button of your jeans.

“Your fingers, please fuck me with your fingers.” You whisper, taking the initiative to unbutton your jeans for him. “Please, you didn’t let me cum earlier, I need it.”

Vernon chuckled, “Who says you will now?” He pulls down your zipper, his hand finding its way inside your panties.

You look up at him pouting, “I’ve been good, please.”

He drags his fingers over your slit, groaning at how wet you were already. Sometimes it amazed him how easily he could turn you on. All he had to do was look at you a certain way and say something out of pocket to have you dripping for him. He loved the way your body reacted to him, the way your pussy took his fingers, mouth, and cock. It felt like heaven to him and he could never get enough.

“We will see, now kiss me.” He squeezes your boob and presses two of his finger over your clit. Without hesitation, you capture his lips with yours in a needy kiss. A low groan escaping him, dying against your lips.

He begins to slowly rub small figure eights over your swollen bud, building you up. You moan against his lips, hot tongues meshing together, teeth clattering in hot feverish need. You start lifting your hips into his hand, wishing he would just give you more.

Finally, Vernon inserts a finger inside of you and moves it with slow precision. You pull his head closer, tugging on the roots of his hair, whimpering against him. It felt so fucking good, you never wanted this moment to end.

He breaks the kiss, placing a soft one against your temple, releasing his grip on your boob. He smiles at you, pushing your head gently, laying it down against his shoulder. “Does it feel good?” He kisses your head, inserting another finger inside of you, stretching you out.

“Mhm, s’good.” You close your eyes in pleasure.

“Good, you’re amazing for me angel.” Vernon picks up the pace of his fingers, planting his feet on the ground, causing the porch swing to move underneath the two of you. It was driving you insane how innocent the two of you looked from inside the house. How unsuspecting everything he was doing to you looked. It excited you and it only made you want to come undone even more.

Vernon kept his ministrations, doubling his speed, while his thumb played with your clit. The added pleasure made you lift your hips, chasing his palm. He snickered, “are you close?” He says pressing his fingers into your g-spot, humming with approval when he felt you clench around him.

You nod, “yes, don’t, fuck, don’t stop please.” You plead, burying your face into his shoulder, biting his shirt to keep your moans from spilling out. The pleasure was building up faster than you could keep up. The knot in the pit of your stomach threatening to break from how fast he was fucking you with his fingers.

“Cum around my fingers angel. I want to feel how tight you get for me.” He whispers in your ear, pushing into your harder and faster than before, while cradling your head, soothing his fingers into your scalp. The contrast was driving you crazy, acting like the caring boyfriend out in the open. Instead of the one that had you begging on your knees for his cock behind closed doors.

“I-I’m cumming.” you whimper, biting down into his skin, you let your orgasm blissfully wash over, squeezing your pussy hard around his digits.

He hummed helping you ride out your high until he could feel your body twitch from the sensitivity. You were breathing hard, watching as he took his fingers out and placed them in his mouth. Sensually lapping up your release looking deeply into your eyes. If it weren’t for the fact that you were outdoors you would’ve gotten down on your knees in front of him to suck him dry.

“Are you sober now?” He does up the button of your jeans, kissing your nose gently.

“I can’t believe you just made me cum in my pants.” You shake your head, pulling him into a hug. “I was never that drunk.”

“I know, but now I get an excuse to keep your underwear.” He winks at you and stands up, extending his arms for you to take. “But now I need you to get out your acting chops so I can take you back upstairs and to bed.”

You smile wickedly and nod, lacing your fingers in his, letting him pull you up. “I’ll even add in the tears for free.”

“You’re an anomaly angel.”

“It’s what keeps you coming back for me.”

#kpopscape #kdiarynet #seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen x reader #seventeen vernon #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios #vernon scenarios #vernon imagines #vernon smut #vernon x reader #vernon fanfiction

[submissivekillers]

Yo yo yoooi! Can I please have a lost boys x vamp reader who’s like the very first vampire to be born and she comes and meets the boys cause she’s traveling across the world to visit all her “children” - so basically ancient ass vamp reader who looks 20 something meets the lost boys cause she’s meeting the rest of her kind

like what i do? support me on kofi

ngl i basically pictured reader as a pre-milfication lady d while writing this jhgfdsa. brainrot!! also mild max slander

length: 2.2k

If there is one rule you’ve managed to learn over the long years of your existence, it is this: humans will take any opportunity to make fools of themselves. 

Santa Carla is no exception.

Even in the early morning before the hordes of hormone-addled humans descended on the beach, the air had been heavy with smoke and blood and sex, so strong it almost overpowered the scent of the sea even when you'd peeled off your sandals to wade in. In its own way, it's exhilarating; the anticipation had your old blood stirring, your excitement mounting as the sun dipped low and the crowds swelled. From the window of your little motel room, you'd had a wonderful view of the flood of humans that spilled onto the boardwalk, the vast majority of them young and already inebriated to some degree. Ripe for the picking.  

It's not humans that you're hunting for tonight, though. At least, not yet.  

At a leisurely pace, you wander the boardwalk, taking your time to enjoy the local color. You indulge in a vivid blue cloud of cotton candy, try a couple rides, win yourself a stuffed whale after breaking a few bottles and promptly gift it to the first kid you see. A belligerent twenty-something who stinks of beer tugs at the hem of your white dress as it swishes around your thighs and you break his wrist without a second thought, disappearing into the crowd long before his scream of pain is lost in the echo of blaring music and shrieks of sugar-fueled glee. 

You're in line behind a gaggle of chattering teens at an ice cream stand when your nerves prickle, feeling the weight of eyes on the back of your neck. Without turning, you inhale, nose wrinkling as the acrid smell of old blood fills your nose. They absolutely reek of the stuff - it's so strong that you're a little surprised even the humans aren't picking up on it. But then again, maybe they just can't pick it out under the layers of weed and exhaust smoke.

The teens disperse, laden with several precarious cones of ice cream, and the bored woman behind the counter waves you up. You open your mouth, but there's an arm around your waist before you can say a word, a cool body pressed against your side. A ringed hand slaps a crumpled five-dollar bill on the counter, mismatched bracelets jingling with the motion. 

"We got the lady's order tonight, Peggy," comes a voice from your other side. You glance over the top of your glasses (cheap, heart-shaped things rimmed in vivid pink, scavenged from last night's meal) and meet the gaze of a cherubic blond, his pale blue eyes calculating as he worries his thumbnail between his teeth.  

The arm around your waist squeezes tighter. You turn your head, tilting your chin slightly so you can lock eyes with another pair of baby blues. They sparkle at you mischievously as your fellow vampire, bends to whisper in your ear, teased blond mane tickling your nose. "What can I get for you, baby girl?" 

You make a show of considering your options, pouting faintly as you prop a hand under your chin. You slip your other hand around his waist, idly toying with the mesh of his ridiculous fishnet top and grinning when he shivers at the scrape of your painted nails. "Chocolate shake, I think," you murmur, looking up at him through your lashes. "Are you getting anything?"

Rocker boy shakes his head, tips you an exaggerated wink as he shoves the fiver towards the increasingly petrified-looking cashier. "Nah, all yours tonight."

"Sweet of you," you chirp, popping up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He beams at you sunnily, shooting an excited glance at the cherub over the top of your head.

Peggy pushes your shake over the counter, lid only half-on in her haste to get the three of you away from her little stand. You manage to flash her a smile (aiming for sympathetic, but perhaps landing closer to smug) before you're pulled away, happily taking a sip of your drink as the cherub comes to walk at your side, trapping you between their bodies. You address the rocker first, catching the way his eyes dart down to catch you licking the ice cream from your lips. "You got a name?" 

"You can call me Paul, baby," he purrs, then wiggles his brows at you suggestively. "Or daddy, if ya want." 

You snort around the straw of your shake, unable to resist the grin that tugs at the corners of your mouth. It's definitely one of the more low-effort pickup lines you've ever heard, but something about him - the goofy little eyebrow waggle, the answering grin when you laugh at him like he knows exactly how ridiculous he is, his overall puppyish manner - manages to push it over the line from sleazy to charming. "You should be so lucky."

"I'd be the luckiest man in the world, I think," he flashing you a smile that's slower, more seductive than his cheesy grin - the kind of smile that would make any pretty young human a little more willing to spread their thighs. 

It's perhaps more effective on you than you care to admit, but you ignore the lazy heat that curls down your spine, turning to bat your eyes at the cherub. "How 'bout you, handsome?" 

"Marko," he says shortly. His face is young, but he's definitely the older one here - you can always tell by the eyes. "And you're on our turf."

"What, a girl can't take a little vacation in peace? I thought this was a free country," you huff in mock indignance.

Marko narrows his eyes at you. "Free country, maybe. Not free hunting grounds." He gnaws his thumbnail again, scanning you like he's trying to judge a threat - though it seems he can't help lingering for a long moment on the bare skin of your thighs. "Mind coming with us? David wants to meet you." 

David. The name is familiar - Max's first, if you recall. From what you'd heard, he could be quite a territorial creature. 

Paul, perhaps mistaking your thoughtfulness for unease, squeezes your shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, you're not in trouble. We just wanna make sure you're cool, you know?" His thumb draws steady circles over the arch of your shoulder blade. "This is our turf, but if you're not gonna cause any trouble, you'll be okay." 

The expression on Marko's face makes you doubt Paul's optimism, but you play along, curling a hand around his bicep and leaning in. "But what if I like causing trouble?" 

Paul grants you another sunny grin. "Then you can cause trouble with us," he murmurs against the shell of your ear. "I bet we could show you a good time." 

Marko clears his throat, distracting you from your flirting, and you're suddenly aware of the scent of blood grown stronger - along with the pungent smell of motor oil. Looking ahead, you see a group of bikes before you, two more vampires leaning against their respective rides. 

Both handsome, and you can tell they're both strong - but it's clear from a glance which one is the leader. 

"Thanks for fetching our guest," the blond - David, you know instinctively - rumbles, his voice a warm, sardonic purr. He looks you up and down, the weight of his eyes like a physical thing. "Welcome to Santa Carla."

"Do you give all visitors a personal welcome?"

"Only the interesting ones." He smiles at you, the edge of a fang glinting in the light. "Come with us. There's someone you should meet." 

You lift a brow. "Oh? And here I figured you were the one in charge around here?" 

"I am, don't get it twisted," he shoots back lazily, pulling a battered pack of cigarettes from inside his duster. "But our sire wants to meet you." 

"Ah, so you're the lead enforcer," you muse, nodding. David gives you a look caught between exasperation and amusement and takes point as you're herded after him. "And you?" You chirp, turning to the dark-haired boy who walks behind you. 

He blinks languidly at you. "...Dwayne." 

Strong and silent. You can appreciate that in a man. 

You're lead to a video shop in the center of the boardwalk, fielding Paul's flirting, Marko's questions, and Dwayne's cautious stare as you go. David walks slightly ahead of the rest of you, puffing on a cigarette and occasionally glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.

As you approach the door you hear Dwayne sniff, his rumble of "Maria's not here yet," barely audible even to your heightened senses. 

"Good," David murmurs, pulling open the door with a merry chime of the little bell. He bows his head, making a sweeping gesture to usher you by. "After you."

Drifting inside, you're assaulted by flickering screens and lurid posters, a storm of color and noise. You run a fingertip down the spine of a videotape, but a whimper draws your attention. Bending at the waist, you catch sight of Max's hound hiding under a desk, watching you with ears pinned flat to his skull. 

Shame, really. You found him rather cute, but the beast had always been terrified of you. 

A familiar scent reaches your nose, and a familiar face follows soon after - though he's changed significantly since the last time you saw him. The trappings of the modern world suit him well, you have to admit; the thick glasses lend a sort of non-threatening charm to his face, which you suppose is the point.

"Thorn, what's gotten into"—he stops so quickly his shoes squeal against the floor, the friendly shopkeeper guise dropping in the space of a blink—You." 

"Maxie." You greet, inclining your head. "You look... alive. In a manner of speaking, of course." 

He steps between you and the hound, hands curled into tense fists at his sides. "What are you doing here?" 

"Just sightseeing, really," you say soothingly, holding up your hands in surrender. "Figured the time was ripe to catch up with the world, see how all my little birds are doing. Carmilla sends her love, by the way." 

"This is my territory," Max hisses through his teeth, eyes bleeding yellow. "You know you can't be here without prior notice, it's law—" 

You sigh through your nose and snap your fingers. "Maximillian, kneel."

He falls to his knees hard enough that the tile cracks under his weight. You step closer, lifting his chin to meet his furious glare; he visibly strains against your order, a vein pulsing in his temple. You have no doubt that he would tear your throat out if given the chance.

But you've been alive entirely too long to let a little upstart like Max get the better of you.  

"I'm not here to cause trouble," you say, calmly, but firm. "But I made the laws, Max. You would do well not to forget that." 

He bares his teeth at you, face fully transformed to reveal the beast within. You look at him impassively for a moment, then sigh, turning on your heel and edging past a stunned Dwayne. "I'll meet you outside, boys."  

You push through the door with more force than strictly necessary, the tinkle of the bell almost mocking your dampened mood. Disappointing. Max had always clashed with you, even if he lacked the nerve to do anything about it. You'd hoped that a few hundred years apart might have cooled his animosity towards you, but clearly that was too much to hope for. 

You suck on your straw, making a face at the airy rattle you get instead of ice cream. All out of milkshake, and still so thirsty.  

The bell jingles again, heralding the approach of Max's coven. "I apologize for not warning you," you say before any of them can speak, twirling your empty cup. "I did have a feeling Max would react badly to seeing me. He's always been a bit of a cunt when things don't go his way." 

"How old are you?" Marko blurts. 

"Don't you know it's rude to ask a lady's age?" You tut, waving a finger in mock-indignation. "Really. No manners at all."

David steps forward, eyes glittering in the neon lights. "You turned Max." 

"No," you say, smiling to show off the long, curving points of your canines. "But I turned his sire. And I turned the sire before her, too." 

Glances are exchanged. Dwayne and David hold each other's gaze for a long moment, then Dwayne breaks away to glance at Marko, murmuring something just quietly enough that you don't catch it. Paul smiles, curious and admiring, and when David looks back at you there's a cautious interest written in the lines of his face. 

"Tell you what," you purr, looping your arms around David's neck. His gloved hands come to rest on your hips, leather creaking as he idly kneads the flesh hidden beneath soft cotton. "My throat's feeling a little dry. Why don't you boys take me for a drink, and then I’ll answer a few questions."

#the lost boys x reader #the lost boys imagine #horror imagines #sfw

[bookishofalder]

Night Changes [Three]

Summary: In which the fragile state between Poe and the reader is shattered, a mission is assigned, and everything goes to hell. 

Warnings: Swearing, an actual fuck-ton of angst, light smut mentions, sad fluff, grief. WC: 14,090

To avoid too much free time you had begun working late any days that you could, making excuses to run diagnostics on your ship, tinker around or simply clean it. You left the maintenance to Ana, your lead mechanic, but knew enough to at least make yourself feel busy. The less free time you had, the less time you spent overthinking your life.

Today, you were both avoiding your thoughts as well as a specific person. Though truly there was nowhere on base he wouldn’t be able to seek you out, and your hope that staying in your flight suit in the hangar would be enough of deterrent proved futile.

The healer still showed up.

At the sound of approaching footsteps in the otherwise quiet hangar, you turned your head and instantly felt like an animal trapped in a cage. At this point, just over a week since meeting the man, you’d run out of excuses to try and encourage him, as nicely as possible, to fuck off.

Healer Rush Derrin was...annoying. To put it lightly, that is. If you were being honest, he was easily the most irritating man you’d ever met, and also the most clueless. Your initial attraction to him felt ridiculous now that you had one-failed-date and too many follow-up conversations that showcased just how self-absorbed and uninteresting the man was.

He’d found you a few days after your initial meeting, in the hangar as you had suggested to him, just before you were going to leave for dinner. You had lit up when you saw him walking over, feeling a little excited not only for time with a handsome man but also the opportunity to just talk to someone. Poe was giving you an unusually sombre silent treatment, though he did finish off reprimanding you the day after your mission fuck up. And then he was just...silent.

And you weren’t going to question it, because the less you said to one another, the better. It always felt like such hard work just trying to exist around Poe now, you were honestly grateful not to have to exchange jabs at one another. But it was also lonely; your only friend on base outside of Black team was Ana, your mechanic, who had long hours and limited free time. Temmin was always good for conversation, so you’d usually gravitate his way during the day when the opportunity arose, engage in friendly banter until Poe came along and you’d be forced to slip away. Kare was more content to give you a wide berth, treating you with respect and preferring the relationship was merely professional. You got along really well with her but could sense the lack of connection on a personal level.

So, lonely as you were, handsome as Rush was, you gladly accepted his offer to join him in the caf for dinner and treat it as a first date of sorts. At first, during the walk to the caf and waiting in line to pile your plates with dinner, you spoke casually enough that you felt the date was going fairly well. You weren’t too hung up on whether or not it would lead anywhere; it wasn’t like you were looking for anything serious at this point with anyone. You hoped it would lead to something fun, perhaps a few nights at the cantina drinking and dancing, and if you meshed well a couple of tumbles in between sheets.

But when you took a seat in a quieter section of the over large room, it was like a switch flipped for Rush and he went into ‘date’ mode and frankly, you’d wished he hadn’t. The man did not shut up about himself. He spoke over you enough times that you considered jabbing him with your fork, and just when you thought he was going to start asking you about yourself-now that you knew his fucking life story-he launched into a rant about what he wanted to do once the war was over, and on and on it went.

By the time dinner had ended and the caf was much less crowded, you were about ready to hurl yourself out the second-story window, figuring you could probably manage to tuck and roll to avoid injury that would require him to treat you, and then maybe you’d just run into the jungle for a few days.

As you pretended to listen to him ramble, your mind had wandered and you realized that you hadn’t ever needed to discourage any potential suitors before. Poe and Charlie had, in so many ways, made you set your standards high, high enough that not many dates ended up going anywhere, and you just never developed the ability to read other men, to be able to sniff out the bad eggs. Rush was a nice man, but he was also entirely not your type. And based on the way he occasionally bragged about mediocre accomplishments, you had a sneaking suspicion he would not be up to scruff in the bedroom.

You finally had to call the date off when he began talking about future second date ideas, politely cutting in to say you had an early call time and needed to call it a night. He hadn’t been fazed, merely clearing your trays before returning to the table, where you had stood up, to give you a gentle hug and a kiss on the cheek. You wished now you’d been more direct, thanked him for the date but admitted you weren’t interested. And you hated to think about it, but the best part of your date with Rush had been when, after turning away to walk to the exit that would take you to your wing of the base, you met a pair of familiar brown eyes from across the room. You saw Poe standing with Temmin, in the middle of a conversation, his eyes narrowed slightly in your direction, flicking between you and the retreating healer.

At least you somehow managed to annoy him, if nothing else.

But thanks to your complete lack of ability to send Rush a clear and direct message, you were awarded his regular appearance in the hangar each day following the date. Usually stopping by on his lunch, he’d chat with you amicably enough but end the conversation by asking you out again-each fucking time. You had tried the excuses of being too tired, too busy, going on a mission, and hoped he’d just give up. But he kept coming back, pulling out the works to charm you with no success.

You knew you were going to need to get it together soon and just tell him it wasn’t going to happen. You wanted to be nice about it because he was a friendly enough guy, he just wasn’t your type in the least. And you had never really needed to discourage a man before, now that you considered it. Before Charlie died, he and Poe had been by your side your whole life-and they took care of you, easily discouraging anyone you had no interest in by tossing an arm over your shoulder on nights out if you asked them to.

You’d mostly had a few casual flings, never anything serious. Even your first time was with a friend, on the eve of your departure from Yavin-4 to head to D’Qar and begin basic. You met up with an old friend, Tahla, and one thing had lead to another. It had been nice, each of you parting on good terms after what had been a pleasurable evening. One that only encouraged your high standards because Tahla had ensured you reached your peak more than once, something that you’d since learned wasn’t always a priority for male partners.

And after Charlie had died, and you’d fled D’Qar, you had tried to fill the emptiness with one-night stands. But you would only wind up feeling more lonely in the morning when they left, regardless of how good the sex had been, and none of the men had been what you had wanted. Or, what you had thought you’d wanted. You spent about a year trying and failing to fill that void with sex, only to give up on it entirely after the last man you’d spent the night with had broken the terms of your understanding and tried to continue the relationship. You hadn’t been ready to start dating, so you closed yourself off, moved to another assignment to be safe, and now it had been...a few years.

A few very lonely years.

Rush wasn’t going to be someone you kept around to date, and you really needed to get your shit together and tell him. Especially considering how he was looking at you right now, with big eyes that held a hopeful gleam.

“Evening, honey, how are you doing?”

You gave him a small smile, setting your datapad down on the step stool you had in your parking spot (you were endlessly teased for being too short to hop up into your x-wing). He was a few steps away, giving you a warm smile as he looked down at you.

“Hi, Rush,” You wiped the sleeve of your flight suit over your face tiredly, “Been a long day, I guess. How are you?”

“Just fine, just fine,” He nodded, then gestured vaguely toward you and your ship, “You’ve had a busy week, which isn’t a surprise for Black team but I hope you have some time off coming your way!”

Damn, he just had to be so nice, didn’t he? Yet, you knew you’d still be brushing him off despite wishing you could just look past his issues and let him in, a little bit, for maybe a little while. “Ha, I wish I had time off!” You lied, knowing full well that, unless a mission came in, you were going to have the following day off. “We don’t get as much vacation as you Healers do!” You teased, internally cringing because flirting wasn't going to help discourage him. Kriff!

And you saw the way his eyes widened at your gentle chide, hope flashing his expression before he smirked, “Oh, you think we get vacation, do you?” He took a step closer and you had to tilt your head back to hold his gaze, warmth pooling in your belly at his proximity. Encouraged, Rush raised a hand and gently brushed it across your cheek, and against your better judgement, your eyes fluttered closed at the small display of affection. He then dropped his hand to cup your neck, and when he spoke next it was a whisper as he had lowered his face to your level. “You know honey, even in this flight suit, you’re the sexiest woman here. Not sure you get told that enough.”

You bit your lip, heat flushing your cheeks, “Rush, I’m not sure I-“

His free hand was suddenly on your hip, distracting you from whatever you’d been about to toss out as an excuse prevent him kissing you; your eyes snapped open to find him giving you a searching look, reading the heat in your cheeks, the way you had moved just a little closer when his hand gripped your hip, and he seemed to approve entirely of your reaction. His lips ghosted over your jaw, chin, and then pressed to yours, and stars did you ever let him do it.

Suddenly, all of the excuses seemed silly because here was a nice, handsome guy telling you he thought you were sexy and giving you a hungry look that had wetness pooling in your panties before he’d even touched you. At first, this kiss was measured, soft, until you pressed your body against his and threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You felt rather than heard his low rumble of pleasure before his tongue swiped across your lips and you parted them to allow him to deepen the kiss.

In those moments, there was nothing else, just a warm and friendly man holding you close and making you feel desired. And as much as you didn’t click with Rush, the idea of his large hands on your bare skin was making you eager to leave the hangar the find comfort in the physical, to let him in just enough so that he could distract you from life with his expert touch, sturdy build, even if just for one night.

Before either of you could pull apart to suggest moving things to a more private location, the abrupt clearing of a throat followed by the drawling voice of Poe Dameron interrupted you.

“As entertaining as this is, Major, I have to interrupt.”

You sprung away from Rush in surprise, twisting to find Poe standing a few feet away, hands on his hips and an annoyed scowl fixed on you. But instead of embarrassment or irritation at being found in a compromising embrace right in the fucking hangar, you felt a surge of relief.

Because, Maker, you had been just about ready to let Rush Derrin take you to bed. What was going on with you? You knew better, and already decided against this very thing and yet the moment he touched you, you went to putty in his hands just because you were lonely? Poe’s scowl relaxed, morphing to confusion at the expression on your face before he glanced over at Rush, who actually was annoyed at the interruption.

“Commander, apologies I was just saying goodnight to the Major here, I’ll uh, leave you to it.” And he shot you a smile before hurrying off, a smile that told you he read about as much as you’d expected from your reaction to his kiss.

You were furious with yourself.

Good thing Poe was right there for you to take it out on.

“Did you need something, or do you just wander around here at night to be annoying?”

Poe huffed a breath out in a mixture of annoyance and amusement. “Didn’t realize I’d be walking in on a Corellian Soap Opera sex scene. Leia wants to see us.” He shrugged, but you froze, torn between wanting to continue being angry at Poe and the desire to laugh because hadn’t you thought Rush looked like he belonged in one of those shows when you first met him?

His words sunk in then, distracting you, “Wait, she wants to see us right now?” When Poe nodded, his expression curious as a result of your weird behaviour, you glanced down at your flight suit, “Should I change?”

“No,” Poe shook his head, turning to begin walking and so you joined him, falling into step alongside him, “She said straight away, she won’t care what you wear.”

You fell into silence after that, walking through the twisting halls of base, and though it was evening time you still passed by a lot of other Resistance fighters. You realized as you hurried along that you hadn’t spent any time with Poe outside of missions, of the hangar, and you hadn’t yet witnessed how he was treated beyond that of other pilots. 

Turns out, he was well-liked and admired, everyone you passed greeting him by name with friendly grins or flirty smiles, and even though every person also greeted you by title out of respect, you still found yourself growing increasingly annoyed.

It was certainly due to a combination of emotions and reasons, but you chose to focus on the fact the Poe Dameron was walking around D’Qar as the poster boy for the Resistance, a title that should belong to your brother. You hadn’t realized you’d scoffed aloud until Poe glanced down at you curiously, his expression hardening when he saw your frown.

“What?” It was just the two of you in this new branch of the hallway, steps away from the room where Leia was waiting. You could easily have not replied.

Instead, you sneered at Poe, “Please, I’m surprised we didn’t stop for you to sign some autographs, Commander.”

Poe stopped walking and stepped in front of you, blocking your path, “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I’m just realizing how popular you are, I suppose. Poster boy of the Resistance, I mean, that has to have a lot of perks,” You kept your voice cool despite the heat burning inside you from how angry you’d grown. “It must be a lot of fun, getting to fly all the time, fuck whoever you want, walk around with that stupid smirk...” You trailed off with a shrug, satisfaction coursing through you when his surprised look turned to irritation.

“That what you think?” His voice was low and threatening and you didn’t care in the least.

“I’m not surprised, really. You’re like a celebrity, and without Charlie around to keep you from growing too big for your pants I guess it’s only expected you’d become the biggest player on the base,” His eyes turned to ice as you spoke, “Bet you can just smile at a woman and end up getting a blow-“

Poe moved so quickly you had no time to react, your anger clouding your defensive abilities. With no other noise or people around, you heard the sharp draw of breath he pulled in as he slammed you back against the hallway wall, his grip on your arms preventing you from hitting hard enough to cause pain, but it certainly shut you up. You gaped up at Poe as he gave you his worst look, his breathing hitched in fury.

You had finally gone too far.

And isn’t that what you had wanted?

“(y/n), do you-seriously, you think I just?” He broke off, his anger preventing him from speaking proper basic and his grip on your arms tightened, “You think I just walk around fucking everything that moves and having a blast every day? You think I’m fucking happy?”

You shouldn’t reply, you knew. You would be better to stop, to listen to the twinge of guilt now in the back of your mind, the little voice that was asking you if you’d ever made Poe this angry before and questioning why you were doing it now.

You instead decide to pull on the string a little more and see what you could unravel.

“Aren’t you? I’m not saying you didn’t love Charlie, but you have to admit without him and me around you did pretty fucking good for yourself-“

“Shut up,” He growled, suddenly pressing his body to yours and lowering his head to meet your eyes, preventing you from pulling away or even looking anywhere but into his dark glare. “Maybe you’re a little worked up because I just interrupted your foreplay session, but I need you to shut the fuck up. You don’t know anything about me, about my life now or what I’ve gone through. You want to be mad, hate me for what I did, that’s fine, I deserve it. But that’s it, that’s the line.”

“Oh, you get to decide where the line is all of a sudden?”

Poe scoffed, “You got what you obviously wanted, (y/n), you pissed me off. Can you just leave it? Because you really don’t want to hear about what my life was after you abandoned m-everything here.”

You gave a harsh laugh, “Fine, sorry to have insinuated you’re a heartless manwhore, I mean it’s not like you blamed me for my own brothers' death at the fucking funeral!”

Your words seemed to hit Poe as if you’d slapped him; he flinched and jerked away from you, taking a few steps back before raising a shaky hand to rub his face. When he looked back at you where you stood still against the wall, you faltered a little at the genuine hurt in his expression.

After staring at one another for a minute, Poe finally pointed at you and his voice came out more clearly than you’d expected. “You don’t know anything. Not about me, or what my life was after you left, or what kind of person I am now,” He took a steadying breath, walked to the nearby door and paused with his hand on the handle, “Just like I don’t know anything about you. Which is why when I see my second in command making out shamelessly with a healer in the fucking hangar, I don’t comment. I don’t know you, and you sure as hell don’t know me.”

With those final words, he swept through the door, not bothering to wait for you and you held still until the door shut behind him, letting out a sob as guilt-wracked your body. 

You regretted pulling the string.

-

Before meeting Poe at the cantina that night, Charlie mentioned too casually that Poe hadn’t been going home with women for some time. Not since you had officially joined Gold team, which he was insisting was because of you. That it was always you when it came to Poe Dameron. You brushed your brother off with a roll of your eyes, keen to avoid the direction his words were leading you. And it wasn’t as if you hadn’t noticed Poe’s abrupt change in behaviour, how he had stopped slipping off partway through evenings at the cantina to flirt with someone who had been giving him eyes, maybe dance a little before they would wander off, no doubt in the direction of one of their rooms.

It hadn’t exactly bothered you, he was free to enjoy himself as much as you were, and he never left you alone, never ditched you when you were having a bad day. You wondered what was going on with him, naturally, but didn’t ask and certainly didn’t want to discuss it with Charlie.

Poe was already at your usual table when you walked into the cantina, and his eyes seemed to light up when he spotted you. Trying not to let that go to your head, you weaved through the crowd with Charlie right on your tail, which was a good thing because his bulk and intimidating appearance meant that people hurried out of your way before you had to even ask.

As you moved, Poe’s eyes never left your face and you wondered if he sensed the way he was making your heart flutter, how your stomach was full of butterflies. Your mind also replayed recent memories, now with Charlie’s words in your head and Poe’s eyes melting you from across the room, you could see something...was different. 

How he’d been the one to walk you to your room every night you all went out, and even though you’d just spent an hour or two together he’d linger for a while, lounge with you on your bunk and chat until one of you yawned. How often you both would switch to a private channel to talk during training or low-stakes missions. And when...when was the last time you had gotten yourself your morning caf? You hadn’t realized, he had met you outside of your room nearly every morning, two steaming cups in hand, for a while now.

And the subtle touches. You grew up with Poe, and he’d always been an affectionate enough person, but Charlie’s timing had been right-you joined Gold Team and Poe’s behaviour had shifted, not just in the day-to-day, but also with how he seemed to operate around you. A hand on your back, fingers brushing your long hair out of your face, the endless hugs-the kind that made you feel safe and whole, each time.

When you reached the table and broke eye contact to take a seat next to Poe, his arm dropped to the back of your chair casually. Had he been doing that long? You always sat next to him, but you hadn’t realized...

Your brother flashed you a knowing look that Poe missed because his eyes were still on you. You fought the urge to frown over at him.

“You look like you’re still up in the clouds, sweetheart.” Poe tossed you his signature grin, and you smiled back at him while simultaneously noting how the grin didn’t reach his eyes the same way it used to. It was genuine, yes, but there was a depth to his gaze that seemed like he was a little self-conscious, unsure.

You raised the drink he’d had waiting for you in thanks, “One of those days, I suppose.”

If he thought your response was inadequate, he didn’t say. He merely nodded, eyes searching your expression for a moment before he looked away to take a sip of his own drink. Charlie pulled him into a conversation then and you fell silent, your thoughts swirling again.

You watched Poe, for a while, out of the corner of your eye. You picked up on how his eyes didn’t wander around the room like they used to, even though YOU noticed women looking over, trying to catch his eye. His arm remained behind you, though he wasn’t touching you, the thick design of the chair allowing you your own space...but actually, you don’t think you would mind if he did touch you, just casually.

Well, where the fuck had that thought come from?

Your train of thought startled you so much that you were grateful when you glanced at your drinks and found each of you was getting low. You leaned forward and tapped your glass, interrupting what was now Charlie and Poe’s version of a heated disagreement (so basically they insulted each other back and forth while laughing), and said, “I’ll get us refills.”

You were up and out of your seat before either could object, and you determinedly did not look back at your table. You knew Poe would be looking at you. You were scared of how that made you feel.

The bartender was busy making drinks for a group of loud women you recognized as mechanics, all out to let loose-as they so deserved. You knew they had long hours, and you watched them all, already tipsy and giggling too much, while you waited your turn. You were leaning against the bar on both elbows when a voice to your right caught your attention, saying Poe’s name. You didn’t react physically and probably would have tuned back into the drunk mechanic's funny banter had that voice not been so full of vitriol.

“I hate seeing him out having a good time, wrapped around the Horn girl like a fucking lapdog.”

You stiffened, though it was less from offence (because whoever this was wasn’t worth your time of day) but more because she obviously hadn’t realized you were standing behind them.

Another woman laughed, “I think he’s pouting, can’t get into her pants obviously. You should have made him work harder for it, Liv, maybe he’d be your lap dog instead.”

The first woman scoffed, “Look, he was good for a couple of fun nights, don’t get me wrong. The dude is seriously packing, and he knows what he’s doing, too. But even when I did have his attention it wasn’t all there. Pretty sure he’s hung up on her.”

“And probably will be for a while, she’s a stuck-up little thing. Dameron can’t be very bright if he lets her keep him wrapped around her pinky like that.”

“He’s a real idiot, that’s for sure. Good thing he’s handsome, clearly there’s not a lot going on-“

Abandoning your perch at the bar, you swung around and roughly poked the back of the shoulder nearest to you, furious, “Excuse me.”

Both women turned and you recognized the blonde one, she had hung out a few nights at the cantina with Poe in the weeks before you finished basic. She must have been one of the last women to go home with Poe.

At first, they were both frowning, curious, until they looked down at you. You usually didn’t mind how short you were, but when trying to glare at a couple of long-legged, beautiful women, you suddenly hated how it made you feel small. You jerked your chin up, “You’re speaking quite rudely about a superior, you know. I could report you for that alone.”

The blonde, Liv, glared at you, “I’m not saying anything new, sweetie. Most people are saying it, actually.” You remembered then that Liv worked in the comms office, a notoriously gossip-heavy section of the Resistance.

“Doesn’t make it any less pathetic, though, does it?” You jabbed, your anger increasing. Liv scoffed, setting her drink down on the bar and taking a step closer to you, a little too close to be anything other than a veiled threat. You held your ground, unfazed.

“Look, sweetie, you want to play dedicated little teammate instead of admitting you’re just jealous of me, that’s fine. But don’t get in my face about it, I’m not interested.”

“Funny,” You deadpanned, voice low, “And here I thought we both knew it was you who was jealous of me.”

Liv jerked back slightly in surprise, giving you her worst look, “Speaking as the one who has gotten to more than sample his goods-and let me tell you, you’re totally missing out because he does knows how to make a woman mean it when she screams his na-“

SMACK

Liv stumbled back a few steps, a hand reaching up to touch her tender cheek in disbelief, the skin already reddening from the impact of your full palm slap. You were more surprised in yourself, you hadn’t realized just how angry you were until it coiled and snapped at her insinuations. Still, you felt a rush of satisfaction that faded to concern when the much taller women straightened up and stalked forward, eyes dark.

“You little bitch!”

Before you could begin to back away-keen to avoid an actual fist fight-you felt a sudden presence behind you, Liv stopping short in her advance the same moment a familiar, muscled arm dropped over your shoulder. Her brows shot up in surprise before a simpering little smile appeared.

“Liv,” Poe drawled, his voice light and almost friendly, but the grip on your arm gave way to you that he wasn’t as calm as he appeared. When you glanced up at him, his jaw was tight, a muscle twitching there, and his expression was cold. Colder than ice. You wondered how Liv hadn’t frozen just from having that look directed her way. “So sorry to interrupt, but figured I’d step in before you do anything you’ll regret.”

Liv raised her hands as if in surrender, then pointed at you, “Not sure if you saw, Poe, but the little brat just slapped me.” Her fury was funny to you now. You’d clearly injured her delicate pride more than anything.

The arm around your shoulder shifted as Poe pushed the braid that had fallen behind it back in front, where you usually let your hair sit. It was a simple gesture, both casual and intimate, enough to have Liv’s expression fall.

He tightened his arm around you again before replying in a low voice. “Thankfully, I was lucky enough to see that. It’s officially now my favourite memory, ever. Proudest, too, seeing as I taught her how to hit back at bullies” With his free arm, Poe raised his hand and pointed it at Liv, who was looking at him wide-eyed, “Now get the fuck away from us, before you really piss me off.”

You had to bite back a laugh at how quickly Liv and her silent friend scampered away, leaving the cantina completely with their heads low. You turned to look up at Poe and thank him, faltering when you saw him gazing at you intently, concern and worry replacing the cold glare. “Poe?”

“Are you okay? What did she say to you?” He spun so that you were now directly in front of him, both his hands falling to gently hold your arms. Your heart was about ready to beat its way right out of your chest over the intensely protective and concerned expression he had.

You reached up and did something that always worked on Poe when he was upset; gently running your thumb along his jaw, just a few times, before you dropped it again. It used to feel like second nature. Now it felt...wonderfully intimate. It worked though, his shoulders relaxing. 

“I’m alright, thank you.”

Poe swallowed before throwing you a grin, “I don’t think I’ve seen you that angry since we were teenagers, sweetheart. And that was a nice hit.”

You laughed, shrugging, a little bolt of pleasure warming you when he pulled you a little closer, wrapping an arm around you. “She was being exceptionally rude. Guess I’m not in the mood for it tonight.”

Poe chuckled warmly, and you felt it rumble in his chest because you were pressed against him. Quite suddenly, the urge to reach up and just touch his hair a little, stroke his cheek, maybe run your thumb across his lower lip-

What was going on with you?

As much as you were completely confused at yourself, you didn’t miss how his laughter met his eyes-the warm honey gazing into yours almost adoringly. You finally looked away and turned, glancing at your table for your brother. Charlie, however, was gone. Poe, still with his arm wrapped around your shoulder, noticed where you were looking and laughed again.

“Charlie is otherwise occupied by none other than Vanya, who despite my initial skepticism does, in fact, exist.”

You snorted, “In that case, I think we can leave unless you wanted to stay-?

Poe cut you off, giving you a little smirk, “Nope, I’ll walk you home, sweetheart.”

And his arm didn’t drop as you made your way out of the cantina.

Nor did it drop when you were walking the halls, or entering your door code to your bunk.

It still didn’t drop when you both fell onto your bed, laughing over the look on Liv’s face after you had slapped her and how quickly she and her friend had run out of the cantina.

That arm remained securely around you the whole night, as you and Poe talked for hours, reminiscing about Yavin-4, exchanging banter over who was the better pilot, even imaging what life would be like once the war was over.

And Poe’s hold only tightened when you nodded off, laying the wrong way across your bed and tucked against his chest. Loosening only when he too fell asleep, his final thoughts that he would tell you how he felt after tomorrow’s mission decommissioning a fuelling yard in the Sanbra Sector. Because he wasn’t sure he could pretend otherwise any longer.

+

General Organa had noticed the thick tension between you and Poe the moment you joined him in front of her, your face flushed but otherwise neutral. Her eyes had flicked between you both before commending you on how well you worked together and then explaining that she had a mission.

Normally, a top-secret, high stakes recon mission would thrill Poe straight to the bone, but upon hearing the finer details he felt his smile tighten and his excitement waning. Of course, mere moments after finally exploding on one another, you and Poe were assigned the task of taking a cruiser to a planet in the outer rim. A three-day trip minimum there, where you would be inspecting a base long since abandoned by the Galactic Empire after it had fallen. An outpost that, once cleared, would be of incredible use to the Resistance.

Upon learning that she needed you to leave first thing in the morning, Poe thanked the General, promised her the best teamwork, and then swept quickly from the room. He went straight to his to pack, glancing at his wrist comm for the time. He decided that after he was finished preparations he would go to the cantina for a drink.

Stars, if he wasn't just assigned such an important mission he would be having several drinks. After what had just transpired with you, he was reeling and in need of a distraction. He was angry, yes, but mostly he was hurting.

You’d been aiming to get a reaction out of him for a while now. Giving him the cold shoulder outside of missions to throw him off balance. It was the combination of finding you pressed against the healer, who had had his hands all over you, and then hearing your accusations...he just snapped, something he wasn’t prone to doing and yet you always seemed to pull the strongest emotions and reactions from Poe, even when you weren’t trying to.

And it wasn’t so much the scorn with which you described his status as a poster boy, but rather the genuine belief you held that Poe’s life had been good without Charlie and you. As much as you were trying to piss him off, you still believed what you were saying, and Poe hadn’t known what to do, how to make you see that everything, everything fell apart after he lost you.

Fuck, he knew it was his fault-he had said what he said and then he’d left you alone in the dark, but it still floored him to hear how little you thought of him now. You didn’t just hate him, he’d realized, you also believed he hated you, that he was living a happy life and didn’t spend every day wishing his life was different. He had fucked things up between you and him so well, that you never realized just how much he loved you.

Loves you.

Because the truth was, as much as he didn’t like you right now, there wasn’t a single thing in the entire galaxy that could stop Poe Dameron from loving you.

And he didn’t know...what that love was anymore, what it meant or what he wanted from it. He was happy to leave it in the background, to let you despise him until you said the things you did tonight. What you said told Poe that you didn’t know anything, despite growing up together. You still refused, to this very day, to look back at your relationship with him and recognize that it was never anything but the start of something millions would die to have. An epic love story, one that generations to follow would have spoken of.

You never saw it, and he’d failed to show you. And now you were both just fragments of those star-crossed idiots, and Poe had never felt more lost or alone.

+

Aware that he had a good week alone with you ahead of him, Poe hurriedly changed and made his way to the cantina after packing, intent on enjoying one good drink with Temmin to help clear his mind. Socializing in a loud space was the perfect way to prepare for what was sure to be a stony silence-filled week.  

The cantina was busy when he arrived, his timing synced with the late-night crowd. It only took him a moment to spot Temmin, though, and he made his way across the room, raising a hand in hello when his friend spotted him approaching. He turned, signalling to a nearby waitress for another drink for Poe, before clapping him on the shoulder.

“Commander! Nice of you to join us!” Temmin called merrily, and Poe already felt his tension fading, his friends genuine kindness always appreciated.  

“Thought I’d better keep an eye on you idiots,” Poe replied, thanking the waitress for his drink and winking at his laughing friends as he took a swig. He fell into an easy banter with the others, sipping his drink slowly as he would only indulge in the one on the eve of such an important mission. After a while, his drink half-finished, Poe found himself glancing around the room quite suddenly, his senses on alert.

It was then that he spotted you. And no wonder he’d been wary a moment before, as his eyes must have gone past you twice before they snapped back, realizing that the long-haired woman in khakis and a navy shirt was you. He hadn’t seen your hair down since you had been back, and it was longer now than he thinks you’d ever grown it. The braids you normally weaved into your low buns left the long locks wavy, and you weren’t used to wearing it down as you kept self-consciously brushing it out of your face.  

You were standing with your friend, Ana, a few other mechanics Poe knew mostly by their faces. Your friend was laughing at whatever you were saying, hard enough that you joined in and even though he couldn’t hear you from across the room, he knew exactly how genuine your giggles were just from your expression.

Poe looked away, flushing with a mixture of emotions he preferred not to examine.

His hand roamed around the room before landing on a tall figure making his way toward you. Rush had a grin on his face that suggested pleasant surprise at your presence at the cantina. Remembering the weird look of relief that had been on your face when Poe had walked into the hangar earlier, he wondered if maybe you weren’t as into Rush as you had seemed in that particular moment.

Maybe he was already worked up before your argument if he was really honest with himself. Something about having to watch from afar all week as Rush popped in every afternoon to flirt with you, then to walk in on him pressed against you, it had pissed him off. It had also brought forth that same protectiveness he’d felt when the stormtrooper had punched you, which only served to confuse Poe further. He’d swiftly stuffed those thoughts back as he’d told you Leia was waiting to speak to you both, only for them to tumble around in the back of his mind until you’d crushed his patience to bits.

Poe watched as the healer picked his way toward you. Glancing at you, he saw Ana stepping around you to move toward the direction of the fresher, leaving you standing alone as the other mechanics seemed to have already melted away to have a separate conversation. You sighed, your smile faltering a little, before taking a sip of your drink, your eyes raising up and immediately zeroing in on Rush. His suspicions about your level of interest in the healer were confirmed when you blanched, your eyes casting around you and widening in horror when you realized you were entirely alone. And then you fixed the fakest smile he’d ever seen on your face before turning to greet Rush, a stiff set to your shoulders.  

When the healer reached you and greeted you by way of running his hand down the bare skin of your arm, Poe stiffened. You greeted him in return but took a half step back, eyes peering up at the much taller man with a modicum of fear. Suddenly, Poe’s mind took him back to years and years ago, on Yavin-4, when boys would hit on you and you’d glance toward Poe or Charlie for help and they would be right there, without question.

Now, you looked so alone that Poe’s instincts took over, Charlie’s voice in his head saying, ‘Flyboy and I will always take care of you, Kid.’ And he abruptly stood, abandoning Temmin and his drink, and marched across the room. His anger for the earlier argument was long forgotten and Poe almost felt seventeen years old again.

“Why don’t we continue our earlier fun somewhere quieter, honey?” He was saying, his voice carrying over the music. You had been focused on Rush until Poe was just a few steps away, your head jerking to meet his gaze in surprise.

And unless Poe was mistaken, he saw a little relief there too.

Without preamble, Poe grabbed you by the shoulder and gently pulled you back a few steps, moving you away from Rush. “Sorry pal, not happening.” His interjection was in vast contrast to how Charlie would have done it. He’d have smiled, sauntered up, made it friendly. Poe pointedly conveyed no warmth, no room for argument.

Still, the Healer didn’t get the hint. His brows furrowing, he tilted his head to look at Poe, who stood a few inches taller. “Didn’t realize you had any say in the matter, Command-“

“Don’t care,” Poe replied easily, “Buzz off, and read the room-she’s clearly not interested in you.”

“Now wait just a-“

“Actually Rush,” You hurriedly cut him off, your hand reaching up to grab the one Poe still had on your shoulder, “He’s right. I-I’m not interested, I’m sorry. And we have an early call tomorrow, so we’re just leaving. Goodnight.” You spun away before Rush could reply, your grip on Poe’s hand slipping to his wrist as you dragged him out of the cantina.

Poe spared a glance over his shoulder to look at Rush, who was standing in the same spot looking a little dumbfounded. He bit back a grin before looking forward and watching you pull him along. Poe could feel your hand burning his skin where you held his wrist. After making it halfway toward base, you stopped walking and let go, your arms crossing as you peered up at Poe.

“I don’t need you to do that, Dameron.” Your voice was low, your gaze sharp. Poe wanted to flinch under the intensity of it but instead found himself standing to his full height and matching your stance, returning your glare right back.

He scoffed, “Charlie would have-“

“Yes,” You cut in, taking a step closer to Poe and lowering your voice further, “Charlie would have. He always would have, that’s what big brothers do. But you’re just my Commander, and you don’t get to step in on my social life.”

The words cut, but Poe had heard you say worse to him. He flooded with exasperation, “Major, are you telling me you would prefer to head back inside and let Rush fucking Derrin flirt with you until he inevitably passes out before you can say ‘do you have a condom?’”

You gave a humourless laugh, “Oh, please don’t think that just because any woman you set your eyes on is keen to lay under you that it means the rest of us love to go home with random idiots, regardless of whether we make out with them or not,” You jabbed a finger into Poe’s chest as you spoke, your words laced with venom, “I hold myself to higher standards, and I definitely don’t need the Resistance playboy inserting himself on my behalf.” With that, you spun and stormed away, toward base.

Poe had no option but to follow you. He lived next to you, he was going in the same direction.

Still, when you glanced over your shoulder as you entered the doors that led to the ranking official's dorms and saw Poe a few steps away, your anger seemed to snap and you let the door shut behind you in his face.

“Sweetheart,” Poe drawled as he stepped inside, still only a few paces behind you, “Be as mean as you like, I don’t care. But save the anger for the real fight, it isn’t going to work on me again.”

When your only reply was a frustrated groan, Poe smirked to himself. He watched as you flipped your middle finger over your shoulder before disappearing into your room, the door slamming closed with finality.

His smirk faded then, as he began to consider exactly why he’d gotten so worked up, and whether it really had anything to do with Charlie.

MISSION DAY SIX

Poe was completely numb.

Numb with shame. Regret. Disgust for his actions. Still, he remained protective at your side, following you through the jungle as you avoided looking his way. Knowing you were just as eager to get back to the ship as he was, and yet keenly aware that it meant three days alone together in the cramped space.

At least it would give you both time to come up with a believable explanation for your delay in return. An entire day lost, yet you’d already agreed with one another that the real reason wasn’t going in the mission report. If you never spoke of what happened again, it still wouldn’t be enough to curb the pain, the fucking guilt he was feeling.

Poe had been wrecked, mentally obliterated beyond repair. How he wished he could have died-if he could have ensured you wouldn’t have been harmed he would have gladly let himself die. You promised him it was alright, that you were alright, and yet Poe knew there was no coming back from this.

No, now everything had changed. In one night, it had all changed.

MISSION DAY ONE

The morning of departure for the top-secret mission had been smooth, but entirely silent, between Poe and you. He was glad you worked well enough together to not need to speak. With merely hand signals and grunts, you successfully managed to depart D’Qar and slip into space.

Once safely in hyperspace, Poe left you alone in the cockpit to engage BB8 for auto-piloting the cruiser, secretly relieved when you didn’t come into the small cabin once you’d completed the task. Content to give you as wide a berth as he could in the tiny ship, Poe spent the first few hours of travel lounging on his bunk, reading.

Poe was used to being alone in his x-wing, even if there was a conversation over comms, it was always just him and BB8. But the planet was far enough away that you needed to take a ship built for longer journeys. This meant brushing against one another more often than either of you would have liked, for a few days more than was ideal. Especially given the current climate of your relationship.

It meant sleeping on bunk beds, Poe one the top bunk because he could easily climb up with his height advantage over you. As second in command, you were tasked with ensuring Poe and yourself were fed, watered, and debriefed on the little known about the planet where you were heading. It had been during the mission the week prior, where you had been hit by the Storm Trooper, that BB8 had stolen the data needed to find this outpost.

Poe’s duties were to keep an eye on the ship status, update the mission report and study whatever materials you sent his way to prepare, until arriving at the destination. And to ensure that his team worked well together, which was why he was going to try and walk around on eggshells.

It was when he was warming his dinner rations the first day that he realized you hadn’t ever come out of the cockpit, not for lunch or even a trip to the fresher. With a sigh, he warmed a ration for you and carried both into the cockpit. You glanced up when he entered, your frown morphing into suspicious surprise when he handed you your plate and drink wordlessly. He managed to sit down in the pilot’s seat and get himself comfortable before you spoke.

“Did you poison it?”

Poe rolled his eyes and glanced toward you, his eyes falling to the datapad you had resting on one knee. You were reading a newspaper from a planet he’d never heard of.

“Yes.” He replied swiftly, before pointing at the tablet, “How’d you get that?” His eyes narrowed when you smirked.

“Seriously?” You replied, taking a bite of dinner and dropping your gaze back to the article you had been reading, attempting to brush him off.

Poe scoffed, “Did you ask MY droid to load that on there for you?”

When you looked back at Poe, your brows were raised in surprise, “Did you really not notice BB8 in my room when you walked by this morning?”

You gave him an exasperated look when he shrugged because truthfully his mind had wandered when he’d opened his door that morning. Yours was open as a service droid was carrying out your supplies to take to the ship. You had glanced up when Poe moved into the hall, shot him a glare and then returned to whatever you had been doing crouched on the ground, which he now supposed must have been taking the newspaper data from BB8.

He hadn’t noticed his droid because his eyes had immediately fallen on the corkboard above your desk, where you had posted several photos, the largest of which was the same one he tapped every morning before leaving his room.

You frowned when he didn’t reply straight away; Poe tore his gaze from yours to look at his food. “Had other things on my mind,” He finally said, taking a large bite of his meal and speaking with his mouth full, he added, “And ask next time you want to have my droid do you a favour.”

In response, you merely gave a small, cold laugh, returning to your article. Silence fell between Poe and you again. Eventually, he finished eating and decided to head to bed and read until you came out of the cockpit. He took your plate from you wordlessly, not lingering to find out if you thanked him.

A few hours later, you slipped quietly out of the cockpit and made your way to the fresher, where he heard you have a quick shower before getting ready for bed. Poe was reclined on the top bunk, comfortably laying on both his and your pillows when you emerged, and he bit back a smile as he waited for you to look at your bunk.

You sighed. “Can I have my pillow back, please?” Your voice was tight and Poe smirked, aware that he was decidedly not walking on eggshells at that moment.

He sat up, grabbing the top pillow, “Well since you’ve asked so polite-“ Poe broke off as he looked down at you, his gaze dropping below yours. He gripped the pillow in one hand as surprise swept through him upon seeing what you were wearing to bed. It was one of Charlie’s old shirts.

He’d recognize it anywhere because Charlie wore that shirt all the time; it was one of his favourites. It had been a gift from you though Poe couldn’t remember the occasion. His heart constricting at the sight of you dwarfed in your dead older brother's shirt, Poe let out a quiet breath, at a loss for words. The shirt had a few holes in it from being worn so many times.

“Kriff, my face is up here, asshole!” You snapped, and Poe was abruptly pulled from his thoughts. Meeting your angry gaze and then registering your words, his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Honey,” He drawled, using the nickname he’d heard Rush call you the night before. When your face pinched with fury he knew he’d hit his mark. Poe jumped down from the top bunk, carelessly tossing your pillow behind him before taking a measured step toward you. “I recognize the shirt, that’s all.”

Glaring up at Poe, you flashed your white teeth before replying, “You recognize my shirt, so you stare at my chest for a solid minute?” Crossing your arms, you let out a humourless laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

Poe bristled, “Damn, you really have me cast as the worst kind of villain, don’t you? Poe Dameron, Rebel fuck boy. Poe Dameron, pervert with no fucking soul or moral code,” He was seething, leaning over you now, getting just as worked up as he’d promised himself he’d avoid. He gestured at your shirt vaguely, “Poe Dameron, sees a woman in a shirt and must be staring at her tits. Couldn’t possibly be that I see you wearing my dead best friend's old shirt and have any human feelings about that, right (y/n)? Because I ruined us,” He pointed first at you, then to himself, “It means that I don’t miss Charlie, don’t ever think about him, don’t have happy memories that make me sad.”

You were frowning up at Poe as he yelled, a mixture of surprise and confusion evident in your expression. For a moment, you both just stared at one another, and Poe thought you might be at a loss of how to respond. Until you did. Of course, you fucking did.

“You are the villain. You said what, the other day, that I abandoned you? How do you-I left after you deserted me!” Your voice was shaky with emotion, “You weren’t there for me for the funeral, and then you completely broke my heart and just walked away. Got into your ship and fucking disappeared,” Your voice cracked, tears slipping from the corners of your eyes; you hastily wiped them away, “Left me, all alone. I didn’t leave right away, Poe. I packed, I asked for a new assignment off-planet, and you still were just fucking gone. So I left, and you think it’s unfair of me to think of you as the villain?”

“Do you think I didn’t regret everything I fucking said the moment I said it? That I don’t know-didn’t know-how badly I fucked up?” Poe shouted back, “I tried to find you! You blocked me from being able to find you and tell you I was sorry. Didn’t even think you would forgive me, but you still deserved to hear me beg for forgiveness and work to make it up to you,” Poe took a step back from you, running a hand tiredly over his face, “What I did was the worst thing I’ve ever done, my biggest regret. I didn’t mean anything I said to you, I lo-I took out my guilt, my grief, on you and I know it was wrong. But you can’t twist everything I do now to fit into that version of me, it’s not fair.”

“Fair? Right, okay, I’m not being fair.”

“No,” Poe’s voice came out in a near whisper as he glared at you, “No, you’re acting like a brat, ever since you came back, and I’m kind of over it.”

Your eyes widened in fury, but before you could answer Poe swiftly stepped around you and shut himself into the fresher. He didn’t want to fight any longer, and he knew you would just be going back and forth at one another all night, neither of you willing to be wrong. So he turned on the water and had a brief rinse off under cold water and hoped tomorrow would be a little less terrible.

MISSION DAY SIX

You could feel Poe’s eyes on the side of your head as you walked. As much as you wanted to turn around and ask him to stop because you could basically hear his horrified, guilty thoughts screaming at you, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

You were struggling with your own mortification, jumping from memories of what had happened to concerns about what would happen next. What could even happen next?

How things had been between Poe and you up to yesterday could no longer be the case, not after this mission. You just didn’t know what that meant now.

As much as you considered, during the two-hour walk back to the ship, leaving D’Qar and Black Squadron once you returned from the mission, you knew you could never do that. That you wouldn’t do it.

You couldn’t run again, but how the hell were you going to stay?

Everything had changed last night. And you could remember every single detail of how.

MISSION DAY THREE

You woke first on the morning of the third day in hyperspace, blearily looking at your wrist comm to see it was fairly early morning back in D’Qar. With a small sigh, you stretched your body before climbing out of the lower bunk and stepping across the small cabin into the fresher. When you emerged, Poe was still fast asleep and you set about making caf as quietly as possible, knowing the longer he slept meant that much more time for you to enjoy peaceful silence.

As much as you’d both been on eggshells around each other since your latest fight, the tension and silence were thick and heavy and draining. As angry as you’d gotten as he shouted at you, guilt had wormed its way into your mind the more he had let slip how much he’d been hurting. The truth was, you hadn’t wanted to believe he could be hurting, preferring to close him into a box where he was simply a terrible person, through and through, when you knew that wasn’t Poe Dameron at all.

He had done a terrible thing, yes. But he wasn’t evil, he didn’t deserve the vitriol, the cold shoulder, as much as you dished it out these past few days, did he? On the other hand, you felt if you let up on that treatment entirely, it would be akin to forgiving him, letting him off the hook for his fuck up.

You thought that you were treating him how he deserved to be. You had convinced yourself he was the villain. When he’d called you a brat, it hit you a moment later that you were being a huge fucking brat. He didn’t deserve your friendship, forgiveness, but he also didn’t deserve how you’d treated him the past several days.

You sat in the cockpit leisurely reading another newspaper BB8 had loaded onto your datapad before the mission. Poe had grumbled about it, but you had always enjoyed reading highlights from around the galaxies, it was like a little guilty pleasure for you. You lounged for half an hour, sipping your caf and enjoying an article that discussed the art of moisture farming before you heard movement in the cabin.

You strained your ears, listening for Poe to enter the fresher. Once you heard that door swoosh closed, you abandoned your article to head into the cabin and begin packing your bags for arrival. Based on your best calculations, you’d be arriving early the next morning and wanted everything to be ready to hit the ground running. You set the two bags onto the foot of your bunk and then dumped all of the supplies in several armfuls over the rest of your bed.

You were mindlessly sorting, doing inventory and packing everything when Poe eventually emerged from the fresher. He said nothing, quietly getting his caf before heating a ration.

You hadn’t eaten yet yourself, so you decided you would get your ration once he’d gone into the cockpit to avoid you. You were caught by surprise when you turned from his pack, where you’d just stuffed in his protective outerwear, to see your ration warmed up on a plate, set onto your bunk next to you.

You stared at the food for a moment before glancing up just in time to see the stiff set of Poe’s shoulders disappear as the cockpit door closed. You blinked a few times before moving to sit down and eat your breakfast, the sudden tightness in your chest ensuring the food tasted of nothing.

-

You cleared your throat awkwardly when you entered the cockpit later that afternoon. Poe hadn’t emerged and as much as you were glad for space, you knew he needed to eat. And you kept thinking of how he’d ensured you had your breakfast when you were heating your lunch.

He didn’t look around when you came in, his eyes remaining on the book open in his lap until you held out his plate of rations into his line of sight. He gave you a weary look before taking the plate, “Thank you.”

You shrugged, then took your seat. He watched you in surprise but didn’t comment. “I think, um. We’ll be arriving early tomorrow and I think we should just go over a few things now if that’s alright?” You glanced up at Poe when he didn’t reply straight away, only to find him curiously searching your face, confused by your near timid behaviour. You swallowed uncomfortably.  

He turned to his food after a moment, spooning a large amount into his mouth before nodding at you. With that, you began to go over a summary of your notes and data on the planet, the outpost and surrounding jungle conditions. Poe listened as he ate, occasionally nodding his understanding.

“If we have to hike in, I should warn you the time zone we are landing in is at its peak of summer. So it’ll be extremely muggy during the day.” You finished speaking abruptly and Poe glanced up from his food and met your eyes.

“Well as much as I like a good hike, let’s try to get as close to the outpost as possible.”

You hummed in response, looking away as a heavy silence fell between you. Entirely at a loss, you simply sat together for a while before eventually, you decided to do weapons check in preparation for the next day.

When you stood, you had to brush by Poe. Instead of continuing to avoid looking at you, he peered up as you moved, his eyes tired, and you felt something tighten within you. Heat crawled up your neck and you hurriedly ducked out of the cockpit.

MISSION DAY FOUR

Excitement had overtaken Poe, as it usually did when a mission was well underfoot. This was compounded further by the knowledge that, very shortly, he’d be set free from the stifling tension of the ship. It had drained his mental energy enough that even if you’d told him that he had to wade through molten lava to get to the outpost, he’d happily take the lead. Naked. Blindfolded. He just needed out.

You had everything prepared the night before, so all that needed to happen in the early hours of the morning of arrival was pulling out of hyperspace, approaching the outpost and scanning for a landing zone. The base wasn’t constructed to have an outdoor hangar, as it would defeat the purpose of being hidden, but Poe had hoped there would be a spot somewhere around the facility. Given the abandoned state of the planet, however, he didn’t let his hopes climb too high.

He’d heard your frustration as you ran the ground scans and came up short, your breath huffing out in disappointment. He let you work through it, knowing you were more than capable of finding the next best option, though he couldn’t agree more that it was a letdown there would be the need for a hike. The longer the mission took, the longer you were stuck alone together.

You sat up straight once you’d found an area to land, throwing Poe a triumphant look as you pointed on the radar. “This will do, Commander. Two-hour hike, along a river that will provide a decent nav-point, look it leads straight through the outpost.” Your finger traced along a line excitedly.

Poe leaned over to look closely, examining the map and seeing no flaw in your plan, not that he thought he would. It was his job to double-check, to make the final call, but with you, as his second in command, it was hard to justify the need to do it-you were simply that good. He drew in a breath to reply only for his brain to stutter as your freshly showered, peachy scent filled his head.

With a slight frown, Poe leaned away before speaking, keeping his eyes fixed on the map. “Set the course, Major.”

“Commander.” You agreed, setting to it. Poe left the cockpit then, heading to gear up and check his blaster over while you took the ship in to land. By the time he’d finished pulling on his pack, holstering his blaster and ensuring his wrist comm was good to go, you had successfully landed the ship and given control over to BB8.

“Alright, buddy, take care of things while we’re gone and no parties!” Poe called to his droid, who replied in the affirmative before telling Poe to be careful. He chuckled warmly, punching the button for the ramp to lower as you finished gearing up and came to stand next to him.

Poe made to start down the ramp, stopping when you suddenly grabbed his arm, turning to look down at you in surprise. You released your grip and gestured outside. “I know it was in my reports, but I have to say it again-don’t touch anything, especially if it’s colourful. I overpacked on med supplies in case we come into contact with something poisonous, but we don’t know a lot of the species of plants and animals here.” You reached up and brushed some hair out of your eyes, “If we have to move quickly for any reason, try to pick the most open path, okay?”

Poe cocked a brow, “You think some plant will be worse than whatever’s making us run?”

You shrugged, following Poe as he began to descend the ramp. Immediately the cool hull of the ship disappeared, replaced by the humid air of the jungle planet. It smelled similar to Yavin-4, and as Poe took a deep breath, feeling almost nostalgic, he heard you do the same before replying.

“Honestly, I’m hoping we don’t find out.”

-

Within twenty minutes of a steady pace through the jungle, first in the direction of the nearby river and then shifting North to follow along its banks, Poe was soaked in sweat. You hadn’t understated the humidity, and though you had broth grown up on a planet with similar weather, it did feel a little heavier here. And the jungle surrounding you both was thick, densely packed with trees so tall and substantial that not a ton of light from the single sun made its way to the jungle floor. Though, if the shade was offering any reprieve from the heat Poe couldn’t fucking tell.

The air had sweetened somewhat once he’d followed you from the small field into the jungle and Poe, though on high alert for any threats as you lead the way, couldn’t help but admire all of the colour interspersed through the greenery. It was no wonder you had reminded him to avoid anything colourful, for the jungle floor was full of every colour imaginable, as beautiful as it was dangerous.

Thankfully, as you had predicted, moving along the bank of the river was the safest option, a long winding path of densely packed mud and rocks leading you to the outpost without having to brush against every bush you passed. The river wasn’t flowing too quickly, but it did give a subtle backdrop of sound that made the quiet between Poe and you less noticeable.

After just over an hour of walking, Poe was feeling grateful that the combat gear you each wore was as moisture-wicking as it was, though he had to keep wiping sweat from his forehead before it could fall into his eyes. It was one of the times he turned his head at an awkward angle to wipe his brow that his eyes caught movement in the distance, and though he kept walking behind you he fixed his gaze to the general area as he filled with alarm.

After a few minutes, he relaxed, fractionally, when nothing further moved. Still, he kept his eyes surveying the area, worrying at his bottom lip as he did. He was considering that the research and information about this planet didn’t pull a lot of data on living creatures, and as much as he was coiled for an attack he could just as easily have seen some sort of bird or rodent moving up a tree. His concentration on your surroundings was pulled when you suddenly let out a little gasp as you tripped on a root.

Without thought, Poe reached out and grabbed the back of your shirt before you could fall over completely, lifting you and setting you back on your feet. Embarrassed, you mumbled your thanks and looked away from Poe, who had been eyeing you to make sure you were alright. When your eyes landed somewhere just behind him and widened in horror, Poe was moving before you could open your mouth to warn him, instincts taking over.

Grabbing your upper arm, Poe urged you both forward quickly while pulling his blaster free with his other hand. You copied him, making no attempt to shake his grip and following his lead in shooting over his shoulder.

“You okay?” He asked, sparing you a glance and letting you go once you nodded and he was sure you were steady on your feet again, “Run.” And you did, neither of you wasting any time in shifting into sprints along the riverbed.

Poe looked over his shoulder and saw the creature he’d sensed earlier, cursing because it wasn’t just a rodent, and it looked like it most definitely ate humans.

It almost looked like a wolf, but it was about twice the size of any Poe had ever seen and its jaws were tightly packed with long, pointed teeth that would surely be able to pull limbs off without much effort. It was pursuing at Poe’s four o’clock, running carelessly through the many bushes and plants as it gained on you both, the only thing stopping it from lunging were the many thick trunked trees.

Firing a few more shots and cursing when they made no impact-clearly the beasts' sides were too thick for the blaster to cause harm-Poe shouted at you. “How far away are we?”

“At this pace ten minutes or so!”

“Fuck, okay, any idea what this thing is?”

You grunted, jumping over a fallen branch and glancing back at the monster, “Looks hungry, we should probably avoid letting it catch up to us.”

Poe swore again, picking up his pace and then aiming a few more shots over his shoulder carefully. The first few missed, but the third shot made contact with one of the beasts' eyes and it let out a roar of pain before barreling through the tree line and coming up right behind you both.

“Fucking shit, looks like we’re testing the theory of which is worse, sweetheart!” He barked, grabbing your arm and pulling you off the river path and into the jungle. Neither of you stopped, though Poe took the lead in running through the dense brush in hopes of keeping leaves and branches from hitting your face. His height advantage kept him just above most of the potentially dangerous plants.

He heard you continue shooting, then give a small whoop at the same moment another roar filled the air-you had hit it again. The heavy steps of the creature faded. Poe glanced over his shoulder to see if it had stopped. He didn’t see the beast anywhere, just you running slightly behind him until-

With a cry of his name, you suddenly sprinted to close the distance between you both and then tackled Poe to the ground, the impact, angle and speed making you both roll through the plants and bushes he’d been trying to avoid. Poe roared with indignation as he slammed right into the trunk of a large tree, coughing as dust filled his lungs. Seeing you on the ground next to him, he grabbed you and pulled you close, listening for any sounds of pursuit as you coughed along with him.

The tree you had tackled him into had a large bush at the base, which served as a decent enough hiding spot. You each waited for any sounds, but when nothing came Poe carefully led the way out, his eyes searching all over, almost overwhelmed at the abundance of colour surrounding you within the jungle. You both stumbled back toward the riverbank, reorienting yourselves until Poe looked around at you.

Closing the gap between you in two steps, Poe gripped the front of your shirt with both hands before shoving you into the nearest tree, “What the fuck was that?” He shouted, surprised to see you panting heavily and appearing unaffected by his violent outburst.

Shocked at his behaviour, Poe released you.

He was panting too, he realized.

“You almost ran over that edge up there, forty-foot drop.” You explained heavily, looking down at your clothing. “We’re covered in, what is this?” He watched as you patted your shoulder and dust hit the air, shimmering slightly in the light.

Since when did dust shimmer?

Poe glanced down at himself and found he was covered as well, copying you to try and get it off. “That bush had red flowers, did you notice?”

You nodded, frowning, “Yeah, not one of the few BB8 was able to identify. This could be its pollen.” You began to walk and Poe stepped in stride next to you, both of you walking along out of standard formation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he recognized this. He just didn’t care, all of the sudden.

The base came in to view after a few minutes and Poe released a breath of relief. He hadn’t looked at you for a while, and something in his gut was telling him not to, though he had no idea why. He focused on searching for an entry point, trying to ignore how much hotter he felt, how the once comfortable clothing he had on now felt almost scratchy and he wished he could peel it off.

His skin felt...sensitive. Weirdly and increasingly sensitive. And still, he resisted the urge to look at you and see if you were experiencing anything similar. Looking at you didn’t feel safe.

Locating a doorway, you followed Poe and dropped to your knees to pry open the circuit board and play with the wires to get the door to release its lock so it could be manually opened. As he waited for you to work, his eyes dropped to stare at the back of your neck, where he could see the sweat dripping, the hair at the nape of your neck, below your bun, curling in the moisture. Just as he noticed how much you were sweating, he realized he was as well. Like, completely soaked.

Stars, he needed out of these clothes.

He didn’t even feel happy when you managed to break the door security and pry it open, nor any relief when he followed you inside and found the air in the abandoned, stone corridor outpost significantly cooler than outside. He simply followed you as you took a few steps down the corridor, stopping at the entrance to a room that’s door was open, peering in before taking a few steps inside.

It appeared to be some sort of old meeting room, a large marble table running the length, though most of the seats were gone and otherwise the space was unfurnished. This wasn’t a room of interest, and you seemed to decide this a moment before Poe, turning on your heel and looking up to meet his eyes as you did.

You opened your mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

Poe looked back into your eyes as that gut feeling shouted again not to look at you, but it was too late.

A low growl tore from his chest, and Poe was stalking forward.

+

Poe was moving toward you and every muscle in your body was coiled, ready to run, your mind all but screaming at you to get the fuck away from him. But you didn’t, you couldn’t, you stood rooted to the spot as he made to close the distance between you both, growling as he did.

You knew something had been wrong since leaving the jungle. You had been sweaty and much too hot, and you almost started crying when you’d been trying to get the door to open to the outpost because your skin was aflame and you needed to get the layers off of it for relief.

And you’d felt...you couldn’t exactly describe it, but you just knew you shouldn’t look up at Poe as he breathed heavily behind you, something deep within you telling you that things were off. Very, very off. Whatever was happening, it was overtaking Poe more aggressively than you at this point.

It had to be the pollen, you realized with growing horror. If the pooling of heat in your belly was any clue, that red flower had to be an unidentified fertility plant. But you’d studied fertility plants, and none that you knew of were this intense. You’d only been exposed, what, ten minutes? And yet you were both sweaty and overcome already.

And Poe didn’t look like himself anymore, something in him snapped the moment he met your eyes. He looked like a predator. Scarier than the beast outside that had chased you.

He was a breath away when you heard yourself let out a whimper, a mixture of fear and longing that seemed to stop him in his tracks, his eyes widening. He stood rooted to the spot but visibly struggled to lean away from you, horror replacing the dark look he’d had moments before.

“What, what the f-fuck is happening?” He gasped, closing his eyes as if in pain.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking hot, I need to get out of these clothes!” You cried out, yanking your shirt from where it was tucked into your khakis desperately. “I think it was a fertility plant, Poe, we have to g-get out of our clothes. Cov-covered in pollen.” It was starting to hurt just to breathe, to speak, to not be touching Poe.

He gave a moan indicating he was equally as uncomfortable, opening his eyes again.

When he looked down at you, the dawning horror overflowed. His eyes, normally soft and honey-coloured, were completely black. His gaze locked onto yours and a smirk replaced his fearful look, and as much as it scared you, you couldn’t look away, heat and wetness now pooling between your legs in anticipation.

“Little girl,” He growled, his body locked tight still but his eyes devouring you, “Look at what you’re doing to me.” He demanded, his hand moving to palm over his crotch where-

Stars, even with his pants still on you could see the outline of his erection, and you whimpered again. This was going to happen, there was no stopping it, you could feel that despite everything inside of you fighting to step away, to run, that when you did move it would be straight for him.

The pollen from this plant would kill you both if you didn’t follow your urges, that much you knew. You’d studied the tales of this strength of a fertility plant, and you knew the dangers that it could pose. You might both die anyway, now that you’d been exposed. It could be strong enough that you’d both just fuck until you died, and you knew that should scare you but...you felt yourself fading into the back of your mind, the heat enveloping you everywhere. Taking over.

You moaned again, still fighting the need to close the distance between Poe and you because you needed him to understand what was happening. “We can’t stop,” You gasped out, and then you watched as the darkness in Poe’s eyes faded slightly and his horrified expression returned-he was trying to fight the pollen.

“Run, (y/n), g-get away before, f-fuck I need y-you so bad,” He was trying to step back from you but unable to fight the burning need, the desire. You saw tears slip from his eyes, “Can’t control my-myself, sweetheart, r-run p-please.”

Tears leaked out of your eyes as you only stepped toward Poe, feeling yourself disappearing further in further into the back of your mind, “We have to, Poe,” He was again only a few inches away now, and what a sight it must be as you each stood so close, fighting against the pollen’s wishes and trying to pull back from one another with no success, “W-we might d-die, can’t f-fight this, oh fuck PLEASE!” You suddenly felt the heat reach a boiling point and absolutely needed Poe to touch you.

“Sweetheart,” He groaned, “F-fight me, don’t, don’t let me hurt y-you, we ha-have to fight it!”

“POE,” You screamed, the last of your true self speaking, “I promise i-it’s o-kay, ple-please, I don’t wa-want t-t-to die!” And the band within you snapped, and you were moving into Poe at the same moment his eyes turned black again and then, quite suddenly, he was on you.

If only everything could have gone black at that point.

Taglist 

@mermaidxatxheart @foxilayde @eleinemk @paintballkid711 @mylifeisactuallyamess​ @20th-centu-fairy-girl @deitysnips @cannedsoupsucks @ubri812​ @poedameronloverx​

#reader insert #fanfic #angst #fluff #poe dameron x reader #multichapter #poe dameron #star wars #friends to lovers #poe dameron x female reader #poe and bb8 #poe x reader #night changes series #Oscar Isaac #fem reader #poe star wars #star wars series #star wars x reader #love story #enemies to lovers #eventual smut #please this chapter is so long

[mamanabeille]

I Don't Want to Be Reasonable

This week's @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers sprint fic. I chose the "If we both want to fit, we will have to cuddle" prompt.

“I’m going to kill her,” Luka all but growls under his breath as they stare at the single bed in the center of the room that seemed to be taunting him. He should have known. He shouldn't have expected anything less from his conniving little sister and her soon to be wife.

Juleka and Rose were getting married the next day in the little inn that Rose had fallen in love with when Juleka booked it for their first vacation away together years before. It was tiny, but somehow seemed to perfectly mesh together the two of their personalities and neither could imagine being wed anywhere else. So when they had asked Luka if he minded sharing a room with Marinette, due to a lack of enough rooms for the wedding party to each have their own, he had willingly agreed without so much of a second thought. He would do anything for the two women. He loved them both larger than life, even if in this exact moment he was fighting the urge to tear the mickey out of them… and himself for not catching on sooner. When she asked, he assumed she meant sharing an actual room… not the bed.

“So,” Marinette breaks the silence hesitantly as she looks around the tiny room, her cheeks flushed a light pink. “I’ll go back to the front desk and make sure they gave us the right room or if there’s another.” She knows it’s pointless, but she feels like she should at least offer to try.

“There isn’t,” Luka sighs, setting his bag down and taking Marinette’s off her shoulder to do the same. “They’ve booked up the whole inn.”

“I know,” Marinette nods, her voice seeming to catch in her throat. She was the one that unintentionally offered to bunk with Luka when Rose had called in tears because there just weren’t enough rooms for anyone and no other local hotels. Marinette had suggested some of the wedding party sharing rooms, not thinking in the moment that she and Luka were the only members of the party that were still single and not sharing a room with their spouses and families.

“I’ll take the floor,” Luka offers. “Or I’ll crash with Ding and Bri.”

“You will not,” she protests, glaring up at him as if he’d personally offended her. “This is the first time they’ve gotten a night away from the baby. I’m also not letting you sleep on the floor the night before your sister’s wedding. That’s absurd, for one. Besides, you get grumpy when you don’t sleep well and you will not be a grouch on their day. We are grown adults, Luka. We are more than capable of sharing a bed for a few nights.” She makes her way over to the full size bed, and plops down, patting the spot next to her as if to prove a point, even though her voice catches a little on the last few words.

Luka feels his face and neck burn hot, pushing out the thought of sharing a bed with her in a very adult way. He knows that wasn’t what she meant. That’s not what they are. They are friends. Good friends. Best friends. Best friends that both have feelings for each other, but just friends. Period. They had to be. Still, something in her phrasing, and the fact that he’d been in love with her for as long as he could remember, sends images of leaning her back against the pillows and kissing her senseless until neither of them could breath. He shakes the images away and takes a deep breath before walking over to the foot of the bed, but not laying down next to her. “Marinette. I could barely fit in the bed on my own,” he chuckles weakly, trying to keep his tone light. The woman frowns and glances between him and the bed, taking in his over six foot stature. “Well,” she offers up slowly with a growing little grin. “If we both want to fit, we will just have to cuddle.” She holds her breath as she locks eyes with him. Usually it takes a few glasses of alcohol to get her to flirt openly with the man, but something is different tonight. She knows she shouldn’t be playing this game with him. It always ends with one of them hurt and wanting more, usually both of them if she’s being honest with herself. She can’t seem to stop herself though. “Come cuddle, Lu? Please...” Waiting for his response seems to last an eternity. She watches Adam's apple bob as he nearly choked on his words, and her sudden burst of confidence falters. “You're killing me,” he groans, sinking down on the bed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and bury his face in his hands, his fingers tangling into his hair. “You’re supposed to be the reasonable one here, Nette.” Marinette smirks, and slinks down the bed to wrap her arms around his middle, resting her chin on his shoulder as she curls around him. “I don’t want to be tonight. I’m always the rational one.” “Because they are your reasons. Our schedules are still crazy. We are rarely even in the same hemisphere We are too important to each other to fuck this up.” He says the words as much to himself as her, but she can feel his posture softening under her. “Fuck, Nette. We can't do this,” he huffs out, straightening up slowly to not knock her off the edge, and gestures between the two of them. “And just expect for everything to stay the same.” “I know,” she nods softly, turning her eyes downward to where her hands were now slowly twiddling in her lap. The two of them sit in a strained silence for a few minutes, backs barely brushing against one another. Luka lets out a few audible deep breaths, trying to recompose himself, while Marinette bit her bottom lip trying to fight of the tears stinging her eyes. “I’m sorry,” Luka sighs, just as Marinette whispers out a barely there “I don’t want things to stay the same.” Luka’s head shoots up at her words, and he turns to face her so quickly she nearly does topple off the bed this time. His hand instinctively reaches out to steady her and he leaves it there grasping her arm as if she’s his only life line. “What?” he questions, his eyes begging her to repeat the words, praying to whatever gods would listen that he heard her correctly. Marinette looks up at him, just as vulnerable and swallows down the nerves that are stuck in her throat. “I don’t want things to stay the same anymore. I know they’re my reasons. I know I’ve always been the one that’s pushed back against us for so long. I know that it’s probably not fair for me to be saying any of this, especially not right now, but I’m tired of fighting it, Lu. I want you. I want us, and I know it’s going to be hard with how crazy our lives are, but I lov-” Luka cuts her off, capturing her lips with his own, pouring every ounce of love, longing, and joy he can into the kiss. It’s like opening the floodgates after years, and built up tension and desperation deeps the kiss. When neither can resist the need to breathe any longer, and they slowly pull away from one another, he stays hovering over her, so close he

can feel her rapid breaths against his kiss bruised lips. Her expression falls and she catches her bottom lip in her teeth again. “I’m scared, Luka,” she whimpers. “What if we hurt each other?” “I’m not,” he whispers, afraid to ruin the moment he’s waited so long for. “I’m willing to do whatever is needed to make sure we work, Marinette.” He pulls back just enough so that he can look her directly in the eyes a little easier. “I think if we’re being honest with ourselves, we’ve been hurting each other but not giving us a chance.” Marinette lets out a shaking breath and nods. Luka presses a soft kiss to her lips before rolling over next to her. She doesn’t hesitate to curl into his side, resting her face against his chest. His arm wraps around her, and he places a soft kiss to her head. Her fingers lightly trace up and down his arm, down his chest, over his torso then back. They stay there in each other's embrace, stealing little kisses, a few giggles and declarations of love until there’s a knock at the door reminding them the rehearsal dinner had started ten minutes ago.

Luka decides to ignore the blatant smirk of a compliment on his sister’s face once the two of them do make it to dinner, hand in hand with matching lovestruck grins.

#lukanette endgame #lukanette #lbsc sprint fic challenge #marinette dupain cheng #luka couffaine #mamanabeille

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Nowhere to Run--Ch. 36

Chapter 36

           Jericho smiled softly as he guided Kat down the hallway. He’d covered her eyes with one of his old scarves from the back of his closet. They had been back and forth from Florida over the last few weeks on the Fozzy tour. Tony Khan had written him off Dynamite so that he could do the six weeks of shows without potentially getting hurt during a match and having to push shows back. And once Tony agreed to write Jericho off, he’d been adamant that Kat get some well deserved time off. She had been surprised when Tony hugged her at the end of the night and practically begged her to come back at the end of her vacation. It seemed the boss was afraid that Kat Prince was more important to the backstage workings of AEW than she thought.

           The sound of her voice brought him back to the present. “What did you do, Chris?” she squealed. He didn’t have to look to know that she had a smile on her face.

           Jericho pushed the door open and stepped into the room, pulling Kat in by the hands. Her face was flushed, and he was reminded again how much he loved the way a blush made her look sweetly innocent and beautiful. He reached out to brush his fingertips along her jaw.

           “I promised you something weeks ago,” he said sweetly. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “And it’s taken longer than I expected to get it all pulled together. But it’s finally finished, and it’s time for you to see it.”

           Kat leaned against him, tilting her face up in silent request for a kiss. He brushed his nose against hers just before he pressed his lips against hers. She sighed and leaned against him. Her arms twined around his neck, drawing him down against her until there wasn’t a single molecule of air between them. His hands settled on her hips, fingers digging firmly into her soft flesh.

           Jericho grinned against her mouth. “You know what it is, don’t you?”

           She tipped her head, brushing their lips together again. Kat smiled softly. “I have an idea.”

           He growled and snatched her close, lifting her off her feet. “Did you go snooping, Katarina?”

           She laughed, and he’d never been happier in his life. Jericho knew that he’d never heard a more beautiful sound in his life.

***

           I held onto Jericho by the shoulders as he lifted me up off the ground. Laughter bubbled up out of me. “I promise I didn’t,” I replied, grinning even brighter. “I swear I didn’t! You just said you promised. And I remember all of your promises.”

           Jericho’s arms hugged me closer, but this wasn’t the desperate crush of my body against his. This was something sweeter and softer. He settled his face in the curve of my neck. His lips ghosted along my skin. I sighed and curled my arms around his back, hugging him back.

           “You remember them all?” he asked with something like awe in his voice.

           I felt my heart skip a beat even as it swelled behind my ribs. My fingers brushed against his cheek, nails scratching gently against his new growth of beard. “Ever since the very first one.”

           I was settled gently on my feet. “I have a lifetime of promises for you, Kat. And I intend to keep every single one.” His lips swept along my jaw. “But let’s start with this one.”

           The scarf fell away from my eyes, and the first thing I saw was Jericho. He smiled softly, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. We stood there looking at one another for a moment before he stepped out of the way. He wasted no time slipping around behind me to watch as I took in the sight of the playroom.

           His playroom.

           Our playroom.

           The center of the room was dominated by a huge four poster bed made of polished silver steel. Both the headboard and the footboard were made of a wide mesh of steel squares. It was done up with dark teal sheets with a pewter grey duvet and a small pile of pillows. Attached to each post, secured by a beautifully tied knot, was a length of soft red rope. Each one was coiled at a corner of the mattress.

           At the side of the bed was a nightstand with a single drawer. On top was a black blindfold and a folded stack of fabric that I couldn’t figure out just yet. The drawer was shut tight, and I couldn’t help the curiosity that was practically driving me crazy. I looked back at Jericho and felt my entire body relax.

           “May I look, Mr. Jericho?” The way my voice dropped just a little surprised me. It sounded like a mix of innocent and desperate.

           He gave me that small, indulgent smile that made me feel at once safe and deliciously nervous. “To your heart’s content.”

           I grinned back and rounded the bed. My fingertips brushed the folded fabric, sighing when I realized it was a length of silk. When I reached for the drawer handle, I saw that my fingers were shaking. I closed my eyes and took a breath, pulling it open. Inside was what I could only imagine had been in the bag Jericho had brought in the first time we’d experimented with all of this. Black fabric covered the bottom of the drawer. A set of simple, silver vibrators were there right next to a couple items that I didn’t recognize. There was a bottle of lube, a box of condoms, and half a dozen other things I assumed were for safety and other similar purposes.

           When I’d sated my curiosity, I pushed the drawer closed and turned back toward the rest of the room. There was a closet off to the right. A wide sofa sat against one wall and an odd looking curved bench by the window. I was strangely surprised by the simplicity and softness of the room. Somehow I’d convinced myself that it was going to be much more… risqué.

           Jericho walked across the room and opened the door to the closet. He crooked his finger at me. “Come here, kitten.” When I hesitated for a second, his blue eyes fixed on mine and he pointed forcefully to the floor in front of him. “Now. Don’t make me ask again.”

           I put my arms behind my back and interlocked my fingers as I practically skipped over to him. My heart skipped a beat when he looked me over. For a moment, he looked as if he were going to snatch me against him. Instead, he took a deep breath and guided me gently and carefully into the walk in closet.

           One entire side of it was filled with padded hangers dripping with every kind of lingerie that I had ever mentioned that I liked. Dozens of colors and fabrics. Silk and satin slips. Lace bras and panties of half a dozen cuts and fits. Sheer baby dolls and scraps of fabric that hardly covered anything at all. The other side was lined with shelves, all empty save one. The shelf right at eye level bore my single pair of Louboutin red bottoms.

           “These are in here for a reason,” Jericho said as he gestured to the hundreds of pieces of lingerie in that closet. He grasped me by the wrist and stood me in front of him. He stepped around behind me, hands settled on my hips. I didn’t need encouragement to press back against him. He growled against the side of my throat and gripped my body harder. “I only want to see you in these when we’re in this room. Do you understand?”

           I felt my brows draw together, confused. “I’m sorry, Mr. Jericho. I don’t understand. I thought you wanted me to wear these.”

           He nipped at the side of my neck and dragged my hips back tighter against his. “I do, but only in here when you’re in my bed. In here you’re mine and you wear these because they are for me. Outside this room and in our bed, I’d much prefer you in one of my shirts.”

           I shivered at the deep timbre of his voice. It vibrated through my entire body, and I was suddenly burning with want. As if he could sense it, Jericho slid one arm around me, fingers splayed out low on my belly. He dragged his mouth along my throat. His other hand settled on my breast, kneading roughly. My head fell back against his shoulder and a little moan slipped past my lips.

           Jericho laughed darkly before backing away from me and going to the sea of padded hangers. He stared at them for a long moment before pulling one down. When he handed it to me, I felt heat rush up along my throat and over my face.

           “You have three minutes to put this on,” he said with that desperately beautiful voice that felt like it rumbled against my bones. He pointed to the Louboutins. “And those, too.”

***

           Jericho stood in the hallway just outside the door. He’d changed his clothes just as quickly as he’d demanded of Kat. It wasn’t exactly like what he wore meant anything, but it was important to just put him in the right headspace. The only way that he could explain it was like putting on his gear to go into the ring. Changing into the jeans he’d worn during so many Fozzy shows did exactly the same thing.

           With thirty seconds left, he pushed into the room and had to stop himself from making a strangled noise. Kat stood at the end of the bed in her heels and a strappy black lingerie set that had been seductive in the box but painfully sexy on the woman he loved. He was desperately undone by the straps that curved over the top of her breasts and slipped down along her breastbone. By the crisscross of strips of fabric interconnected by silver metal hoops that covered her stomach, connecting the top and bottom of the set. Her hair draped over one shoulder. The heels made her legs look more breathtaking than usual. It took him all of five seconds to grow hard at the sight.

           She had her eyes on the floor. Fucking Christ, he thought as he watched her. She was perfectly still, unmoving even as he could sense her body yearning toward him. That innocence is going to be the death of me. I need her to look at me like that for the rest of my life.

           “Look at me, kitten,” he said firmly, quietly. Those green eyes lifted and, goddammit, they were filled with an unwavering trust. “Do you remember the rules?”

           A soft smile settled on her lips. “Yes, Mr. Jericho. I remember.”

           He took a few steps closer, crowding in on her. In the heels, she was almost as tall as he was. Blue eyes followed the rise of heat along her cheeks. Jericho let his fingers trace the straps that ran between her breasts and over her belly. He skimmed his hand up her body, curling around her throat in a gentle caress. His thumb traced the pulse point at its base.

           “Tell me the rules,” he ordered.

           She took a deep breath. He thrived on the look in her eyes and the way that her entire being seemed to gravitate toward him with want and need. “Yellow if I’m uncomfortable but don’t want to stop, red if I do.”

           His fingers lipped up along her jaw, thumb pressing into the soft spot beneath her chin. She tilted her head up at the gentle prodding. For a second, he thought about leaning down to kiss her, just as he always did when she did that, but now wasn’t the time or the place. Not in this room.

            “Good girl,” he praised. Jericho circled around her, teasing his fingertips along the exposed skin along her ribs and across her back. She shivered. He clamped down on a growl. “Put your arms behind your back and grip your elbows.”

           Kat didn’t even hesitate. She did exactly as he commanded, not moving even as he walked across the room to the table by the bed. He picked up the folded length of silk and carried it back to her. With practiced fingers, he looped the fabric around and around her arms. When he was finished, he grinned at himself as he tied it off with a quick release bow.

           “You’re going to walk over to that chair,” Jericho said, pointing to the curved bench by the window, “and you’re going to kneel on it. Lean over the top curve.”

           He watched as Kat took her first few steps carefully. His cock throbbed as she settled on the chair—something called a Tantra Chair that had been recommended by a friend—and molded her body to the sweeping curve of the piece of furniture. Her ass looked desperately enticing, and he had the urge to see it warm and red from his handprints.

***

           My heart hammered in my chest in a wonderful way. The curving chair was more comfortable than I anticipated, even in the position Jericho had put me in. It was strange having my arms tied behind my back, but it was also exhilarating. Everything with him was that way.

           I settled my cheek against the cool leather of the chair and watched as Jericho crossed the room. When he got close enough, his fingers moved along my thigh, squeezing almost painfully as he stroked my flesh. He settled his palm against the curve of my ass, rubbing in a slow circles.

           Without warning, his hand drew back and came down hard against me. The whimpered moan that rushed out of me surprised me. I squirmed, moaning even louder when he repeated the action on the other side. After every smack, his fingers stroked my flesh tenderly. The combination was almost too heady for me to manage. My legs shifted open without my conscious thought.

           Jericho growled violently as he slipped his hand against my core. “Oh, kitten,” he snarled, “you like that, don’t you?”

           My brain misfired as my hips moved without my permission, trying to grind back against his hand. In an instant, the feeling was gone and his hand came down against my ass with more force than before.

           “Rule number one,” he said firmly. “Answer me when I ask you a question.”

           He smacked the other cheek, a little harder in a different place. Each blow got closer and closer to my center. I felt wildly out of control and even a little ashamed at how much I liked what he was doing.

           “Rule number two. You get what I want to give you, when I want to give it to you. So you stay fucking still.”

           I bit down on my lip to stay quiet. My fingers held onto my elbows in a white knuckle grip. I took a breath as want burned through my body like wildfire. I was two steps away from whimpering desperately for him. I ached all over, hot and burning and desperate. A whine burst out of me when Jericho brought his hand down between my legs. The sting gave way to a glorious pleasure as he pressed his fingers roughly against my cloth-covered clit. My back arched involuntarily.

           He stopped as soon as he started. I heard him circle around the chair to stand in front of me. I did my best to look up at him without moving. Every synapse in my brain shut down. Every nerve ending in my body fired at the same time. I was overwhelmed with the sensation that it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

           Jericho stroked his thumb along the swell of my bottom lip before gripping my chin almost painfully. “Oh, it won’t be that easy, kitten. If you want to come, you’re going to have to earn it.”

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#nowhere to run #chris jericho #chris jericho fanfiction #aew #aew fanfiction #inner circle #inner circle fanfiction #ofc #oc #kat prince #katarina prince #may/december romance #chris x kat #multi-chpater

[sunnysviolin]

So like,,,,,, if everone were to join aubreys gang,,,,, what would it be like,,,,,

Oh nonnie...what a fantastic question :)

That was really ominous, but like yeah they’re all gonna be friends eventually

Okay so things start out...so awkward

Like supremely awkward

Sunny moves away but he only moved like an hour away, and (from what I can tell in the game) it’s the start of summer vacation, so he comes back to Faraway pretty consistently

He spends most of his time with Basil at first, but slowly he gets reintegrated with his friends

I skip over a lot of the emotional turmoil and pain in my Headcanons (mostly because I’m writing a fic right now with all of that) but yeah it’s there don’t worry! I just view the game as ultimately being about mercy so I don’t see them not finding their way back together

N E Ways

So now that they’re all together again, Aubrey really wants to merge her two groups. She knows that the hooligans have hidden hearts of gold, and her childhood friends would mesh really well with them

But there’s a lot to unpack there. Mostly the fact that the hooligans bullied Basil (and in my opinion Kel too) and Kel is overprotective

Basil would be fine with moving past the bad stuff, but that’s not because he’s okay but more to do with the fact that he thinks he deserved to be in pain all those years

Kel (sunshine boy that he is) knows that Basil deserved better than being mistreated, and he doesn’t really get why they should want to be around the hooligans at all

He very begrudgingly agrees to give it a try, but only because all of the others want to try

They agree to all hangout in their old special spot behind the park. It’s a fairly neutral location, and it’s outdoors

Kel Basil and Sunny show up first and start goofing around and getting comfortable. They sit on the dock together and are chatting about Sunnys new house

Then Aubrey shows up with her gang, and the comfortable air is gone

One of the things I never got in the game is how they all called Kel a “bully” and I honestly think that was kind of at attempt at gaslighting? Like making him think somehow he was bullying them. Kel never fell for it, but it still affected him

Now this group of people that treated him pretty badly are in one of his safe places, and that sets Kel on edge

So they’re all just sort of standing there with an awkward silence and then in an instant Kel is in a fight with Kim and Vance

Not a physical fight, but they are sharing some pretty rude insults, and it’s not great

Aubrey tries to intervene and Basil comes over to help, but Sunny stays where he is, because the emotional charge in the air is stressing him out

Hero shows up late to the game with a picnic basket and sees all the children about to tear one another apart so he intervenes

He sets the basket down next to Sunny, who was still sitting on the dock watching all of this go down and walks over to put a hand on Kels shoulder

Okay so we know Hero is Big Brother™️, but I see Hero as like one of those people that every kid wanted to be. He was smart and popular and even Aubreys gang are pulled in by his charm. Every small town has a few of these kids (speaking from experience of a small town lmao)

The hooligans were fine with fighting when it was just Kel, but Hero is one of those people you can’t really fight with and you don’t want to

Hero being there also calms Kel down because now he has someone he knows is in his corner and who won’t let their group get hurt

So they all settle down and start to eat the food Hero brought. Then they start talking and it turns out that Charlie Vance and Kim are also horror movie buffs

This brings Sunny into the discussion a bit and he starts to give a few short answers and ask some questions of his own

Basil is also being pretty quiet, but Hero manages to drag him and Angel into a discussion about photography and cameras

Aubrey is loving every second of this and she just watches both of her groups getting alone pretty well. It’s not 100% but it’s nice

They all walk out of the park as a group, and Kel surprises everyone by inviting them all over to his house to watch scary movies and eat popcorn

Normally Hero and Aubrey would veto the scary movie, but they will suffer through the terror and gore for a successful night

The hooligans agree, and then they are all in the living room of Hero and Kels house watching some D-List shitty horror movie and everyone is either terrified or laughing at how awful it is

#not sure if this is what you weee thinking nonnie! #but I honestly see Kel not being good with the hooligans #for like awhile #sunny and basil he can forgive #they were his friends #and they made mistakes #and they’re sorry about it #the hooligans just hurt hi #for no reason #omori sunny #omori kel #omori aubrey #omori hero #omori basil #omori headcanon #omori headcanons #asks #anon

[unchartedthelostlegacy]

Chlodineweek Day 1: Starting over

Nadine was not sleeping on the floatie.

She was not sprawled back across the enormous inflatable flamingo with her forearm stretched over her eyes to block out the sweet lemon of a Mediterranean sun. The sounds of children on the beach had not faded into the soft rustle and hiss of the waves. And she had certainly not been dreaming about gray langurs.

She insisted so much when Chloe did not in fact wake her up by tugging on the floatie’s wings.

“God, Frazer!”

“Dangerous,” teased the other woman, pulling back her goggles. “You could drown. Do you sleep in the tub at home too?”

“I was being zen.”

“You were asleep.”

“Was not.”

Chloe splashed her, and Nadine leant over to scoop water back at her, and fell out. She was up a second later, Chloe dying laughing while trying to right the flamingo. “Careful, it’s a rental.”

“You about destroyed the 4x4, Frazer,” Nadine struggled to clamber back onto the bird until Chloe tugged it under her. “And anyway, saving water is our thing back home, ja? Ninety second showers. Baths are too wasteful.”

“Ninety seconds?”

Nadine laughed. “Every nation should do it. Water is precious.”

Chloe got over her shock, momentarily, as Nadine began to paddle the flamingo away. She didn’t want Chloe to deposit more shells into the float’s beverage pockets; in fact, she was secretly glad they all spilled out, as they were homes for hermit crabs.

“Well,” Chloe surfaced beside her and dumped two handfuls of prizes straight onto Nadine’s back, “We should get back to the hotel. Full itinerary, you know.”

“As if. You’re the spontaneous-est person I’ve ever come across. Get those off me, ja?”

“It’s not like I picked the hotel and booked the airfare and rented us Tony,” Chloe said pointedly, standing and tugging the bird. “And you’re hogging him. Let me--”

“Frazer you’re going to push me off--”

“Ah, see?” Chloe smirked at Nadine, who was now half in the water, as they shared sides of their flamingo, “Plenty of room for both of us. And you thought it was a silly idea.”

“I was wrong,” Nadine said. She had bonded with Tony. Tony and her were besties.

“Well, no harm, right? You don’t want to know what’s next?”

Why was she treating their vacation like it was their mission? Had Nadine misjudged her impulsiveness? “As long as it’s not a massage.”

Chloe groaned. “Come on, open your mind!”

“To someone I don’t know touching me? I don’t think so, Frazer.”

Chloe shrugged. “It might help with being more zen...not that you’re doing a bad job of it, though. You’re relaxing. I’m proud of you.”

Nadine exhaled a short laugh. “Don’t say things like that in front of other people.”

“Tony understands. Don’t you, honey?” Chloe stroked the floatie’s molded pink neck, and Nadine coughed out laughs, wobbling their vessel. “My goodness, Nadine, don’t capsize us. We’re so far from shore.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re more mad about me being funny than you are about losing...well, everything,” Chloe said. “I never thought I’d see the day you walked away from Shoreline. Impressive.”

“What, that I can manage my emotions? Hardly.”

“It is for me,” Chloe said. “I...need practice.”

Nadine cleared her throat. “Let’s paddle back.”

“You--” Chloe took a breath as they began lightly kicking and splashing, very slowly  moving the bird, “--had an opportunity to really go in, you know. Say something about how I’m unprofessional or need to grow up or--”

“If you say so, Frazer.”

“No seriously, how are you so zen? Was it really that good of a nap?”

It had definitely not been a nap. Nadine definitely did not feel rested and ready to watch Moana on the hotel television while Chloe got kneaded. Possibly Spongebob too depending what was on. “Maybe.”

“Reset button,” Chloe murmured, and poked Nadine in the cheek. Nadine shoved her, unbalancing the bouyant waterfowl and plunging them both underwater.

It was bright blue underwater, a mesh of light rippling on the sand, and Nadine grabbed Chloe around the waist. Chloe gave her a light tap on each cheek in response and she let go--if only because it struck her how lovely it felt. Too lovely.

“He’s going to float away,” Chloe admonished her when they both breached slightly flushed. “Your fault.”

“Your fault.”

Tony, however, was rescued, and they both wriggled back onto him, even though it was probably shallow enough here to walk.

“Come get a massage with me, Nadine. It really is a reset button. Get all that tension out. You deserve it, you know?”

Nadine knew where she was coming from, but maybe starting over was a gift in itself.

#chlodineweek #chlodineweek2021 #chlodine #nadine ross #chloe frazier #uncharted: the lost legacy

[gaemkyuu]

Of Kings & Queens (Part One)

Warnings: none!  A/N: Here’s the first part! This is mostly context to the story, with a sneak peak of Prince Charlie! I’ll upload a little more tomorrow! AU!Prince Charlie Gillespie x Fictional Character Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5/Part 6

Four Kingdoms stood strong.  North, East, South and West.  Four Royal Families would unite the land. The Blood of Gillespie would rule the cold North, bountiful with forestry and game. The Blood of Shada would rule the Eastern coast and land, mastering the stormy seas and its’ treasures. The Blood of Joyners would rule the hot Southern lands, gathering the resources for petrol that kept the Kingdoms running. The Blood of Lee would rule the golden coast of the Western lands, providing crops and livestock to feed the people. In each Kingdom, a Ruler to bring prosperity and peace to all its’ people.

Dawn was breaking and people were already moving busily about the Western Kingdom. As more people woke, the excitement in the air increased, for today was a special day. Festivities would start early in the day and go late into the night as the Western Kingdom celebrated the coming of age the Princess. Not only was it the Princess’ birthday, it also signified that the Princess was now officially on the Royal Market, searching for a partner to become King of the Western Kingdom. Tonight’s celebration at the castle would bring people from all over the nation, including the royal families from the Eastern, Southern, and Northern kingdoms. Farmers harvested and packed their crops and livestock, Bakers made fresh delights by the dozens, Florists put out their best and brightest flowers and the Merchants polished their wares. This special occasion would bring people from all over the Four Kingdoms to their stores in celebration and vacation. All the work that was being put into the celebration brought the citizens together and united them on this special day. 

Well... At least the citizens were excited...

The Princess was awoken by her best friend and handmaiden, much to her displeasure. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head as the curtains in her room were parted, trying to ignore the hustle and bustle going around her. She knew what day it was, and this made her want to stay in bed for much longer. She even debated not getting up at all. As her handmaiden made herself busy and gave directions to other servants that had entered her room, the princess pulled a pillow over her head, trying to make it clear that she had no intention of getting up. With a heavy sigh, her confidant gave the other servants orders and ushered them out before shutting the door softly behind them.

“Liv. I love you and you know how I feel about today, but I would really appreciate it if you would cooperate so we don’t have the queen on our butts this early” the princess groaned and her best friend pulled the covers off her body. She flinched at the bright sunlight streaming into her room.

“I’m not getting up today Sav. It’s not happening” Savannah shook her head and rolled her eyes at her friend. She knew that Olivia could be quite the drama queen, but today she needed her to cooperate so that she wouldn’t fall behind schedule. Savannah glanced at the clock, already knowing that the extra 15 minutes she allotted was now gone. 

“Liv, unless you want to bathe in a cold bath, you will get up or so help me I will dump ice water on you myself!” Olivia groaned and finally sat up looking at her best friend with disdain. “Listen, I know you don’t want to do Today. I get it. But you don’t need another reason to get on the nerves of the King and Queen today” Savannah’s voice sounded slightly distressed and Olivia felt a little guilty at her dramatization this morning.

Olivia and Savannah were best friends ever since she could remember. Savannah was the only friend she had growing up in the palace and was the only friend her parents let her have that wasn’t Royalty. Sure, there were the Duchesses and Countesses of the smaller lands in the Western Kingdom, but Olivia always found them snooty or rude. Savannah’s family had been helping the royal family for generations and they were integral parts of the inner workings of the palace. Naturally, when Savannah’s parents were busy at work Savannah would wander the halls until she found Olivia. The two were like sisters and the King and Queen appreciated the hard work her family put in to serving the Royal family. 

And while the Royal family paid them handsomely while providing them lodging, Olivia couldn’t help but feel a little guilty at times when the difference in their status showed. Olivia rarely wore the same dress twice, while Savannah had a very modest and small wardrobe. Olivia had a private instructor, while Savannah went to the school with other children. But Savannah never really cared and that’s what Olivia loved about her. She was a true and honest friend who Olivia felt safe confiding in.

“Sorry Sav. I didn’t mean to make this any harder on you than it already has been” Olivia offered her friend a smile, patting the spot beside her on the bed. “Think you can spend a few minutes off your feet? Debrief me on the day if you will?” Savannah greatly accepted the spot, giving her a knowing look and a big sigh.

“Well Princess-” Olivia glared at Savannah at the title. “You need to get into the baths and get clean so I can do your hair and make up before the lady the Queen hired arrives. There is no way I’m letting you face the neighbouring nations’ heirs with makeup and hair that I don’t approve of.” Olivia laughed at Savannah’s possessiveness.

“Do we know if the royal families are coming or just their heirs?” Olivia gave a stretch, preparing herself to start the day.

“To my knowledge, just the heirs... But I hear that Prince Charles is quite handsome!” Olivia rolled her eyes as Savannah winked at her. “What? I can’t help it! You hear the chitter chatter in the palace halls. They arrived yesterday and some of the other servants have already been gushing about him. He’s apparently really charming and great husband material” Savannah saw the look of defeat briefly cross her friend’s eyes, before covering it up with an annoyed sigh. “But enough of that. Let’s get you cleaned and dressed and ready to greet our guests.”

***

“Alright Liv, take a deep breath and hold it, I’m pulling up the zipper!” Olivia did as she was told, while Savannah pulled up the zipper to her dress. She was already dreading the fact that she would have to wear the elaborate garb for several hours. Although the light blue gown was absolutely stunning and represented her fashion sense too, she didn’t expect it to come in several pieces. After putting on two layers of skirt, she had a separate top that needed to be zipped up and a cape draped over her shoulders. She could already feel the weight of the material weighing her down a bit and she sighed at the fact that they hadn’t put on her jewelry yet. Savannah and her helpers busied themselves about putting on a bracelet here and a necklace there. Another girl was putting on her earrings while the other made small hems to her dress. Olivia felt like the dolls that her and Savannah played with as little girls.

“Voila! I’ve outdone myself!” Savannah exclaimed, admiring her bestfriend’s transformation, stepping away from her so that she could see herself in the mirror. As much as Olivia didn’t want to like this moment, she couldn’t stop the smile that graced her face. Her best friend had listened to her every request about her dress. Her mother insisted that her first dress be floor length, modest and a Queen Ann neckline. She requested that the dress be midnight blue with the lace accents to be gold. Her mother criticized her colour choice, saying that dark colours were for the evening, not the morning. Olivia argued that if she had no say in the dress at all, she would go naked, a response in which her mother glared angrily at her. However, as she looked at herself in the mirror, she realized that Savannah had taken her mother’s requests and her requests and blended them together. She had a high waisted, A-line skirt that held the princess look her mother wanted, but it wasn’t so big that Olivia felt like a pastry. The Queen Ann neckline was a dark blue mesh with gold lace accents that extended into long sleeves for her arms. Her bodice held very little decoration as the bottom of her dress held all the royal ornate details. The velvet floor length cape was held together by a golden broach.

As per tradition, Olivia wore her family jewels. The gold diamond festoon necklace sat proudly upon her collar and the gold and sapphire earrings were prominent but not over done. A small dainty gold bracelet sat on her wrist and her family ring decorated her right hand. Her hair was neatly pulled back into a loosened braided low bun with the occasional curl framing her face.

“You’ve done a fine job Savannah” the girls jumped at the voice of the Queen. Quickly turning around, Savannah curtsied to her majesty and Olivia followed with a smaller curtsy. “Savannah, could you please grab the tiara out of the case?”

“Yes, your majesty” Savannah hurried over to the velvet case on the vanity and presented it to the Queen. The small but simple gold tiara sparkled in the light of the room. As the Queen gently picked the tiara up, Olivia bowed, lowering her head, a gesture she was all too familiar with. Her mother placed her tiara upon her head and held her face in her hands. She kissed her daughter on the head, careful not to get any lipstick on her.

“The gods have been great to bless me with a daughter as beautiful as you.” Olivia smiled at her mom, not expecting the sudden emotional tenderness she displayed. “Happy Birthday my dearest. Promise me you’ll try to behave yourself today?” Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“I’ll try” her mother chuckled softly.

“Just like your father... All I ask is that you give today a chance to be great. You might be surprised at the unexpected events that may present themselves to you” Olivia could never see herself being as polished as her mother. She knew her mother had her best interest at heart, but Olivia couldn’t help but feel like her mother was forcing her to fit into traditional roles of the Kingdom. “If you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way to the throne room. I shall see you shortly Olivia. Savannah, please ensure that the Princess does not stall. I would hate to have her tardy for her grand entrance.”

“Yes your highness!” Savannah curtsied as her mother and the remaining servants exited, leaving the two of them in the room. “Ready to go my lady?”

“Savannah, you know you can drop the formalities around me.” Olivia stepped off the round fitting platform, Savannah catching her arm as Olivia stumbled for a moment, not used to wearing heels. “It makes me feel weird!”

“I know, but we are going to be around tons of people today and most of them would probably have my head if I called you by name in front of them. I’ll be at your side the entire time, but when others are around, you have to remember I’m your attendant” Olivia sighed in slight disappointment, but she knew her friend was right.

“How is it that you’re not the Princess and I am? You’d be way better at this than I am” Savannah giggled at her remarks and dusted her dress off before they opened the door. They knew that her royal guards were right behind it and that as soon as they exited the room, their dynamic had to change.

“Please, I can’t hide my feelings as easily as you. When I think someone is an idiot, it’s clear all over my face and I don’t even notice it!” they shared a laugh as they opened the door and officially started the day. 

But they didn’t expect to see a brown haired man zoom by them in hysterical laughter as a taller blonde man chased after him. 

“Charlie! Get back here with my crown!” and the two disappeared around the corner. Olivia blinked in shocked, trying to process whether the scene in front of her happened or not. As her and Savannah shared a look and shrugged their shoulders, they realized that today was going to indeed be very eventful.

tag list:  @ifilwtmfc

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie imagines #owen joyner #jeremy shada

[jewish-space-laser]

Miles & Black Coffee - Part One

“When you’re on a golden sea, You don’t need no memory, Just a place to call your own, As we drift into the zone...” 

-Island in the Sun by Weezer

Hello, and welcome to part one of M&BC! She’s split up into parts, a day late, and a bit rusty... but she’s here! It’ll be my first new piece of writing since I rejoined tumblr, so it’s a bit nerve-wracking. Thank you to Kate @andwhenshesays, Anne @oh-honey-styles, and Anna @for-fucks-sake-h for organizing this entire challenge, you’ve brought so much joy to our little tumblr community. We love you all dearly ♥️ (4.5k words)

xoxoxox Tile

Warnings: mild drinking, mild drug use (just weed)

You and Harry would never be friends. You were up and down, night and day, oil and water. You just didn’t mesh. He was your roommate’s insufferable older brother, and that is all he would ever be. Well, at least that’s what you thought before….

or

the one with campfire conversations, cabin getaways, and enemies that were never really enemies after all.

MONDAY

Pine trees and cornfields flew by in a blur as you stared out the window of your roommate’s minivan. Every once in a while, there’d be a pasture of cows or a horse ranch. It had been exciting at first, but now you were just bored. 

“How much longer?” You called over the music, trying to keep the whine from your voice. It had been hours since you left your apartment this morning, and you’d only stopped once to stretch your legs and take a bathroom break. 

“The GPS says we still have an hour and a half to go,” Callie groaned, stepping a bit harder on the gas pedal.

Normally, you loved road trips, but this particular drive was more cramped than you’d bargained for. There were seven girls packed into the van, and you’d been unfortunate enough to get squished into the backseat with your twin sister and her girlfriend, who hadn’t stopped with the obnoxious PDA since the car got on the freeway. 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, trying to will away your nauseating carsickness. This week had been marked into your calendar for months, and you’d be damned if you let this god-awful car ride ruin it for you. 

Callie, your college roommate, had a cabin in northern Wisconsin that she’d been raving about for years. She’d been going there with her family for decades, every summer since pre-school, she’d said. According to her, it was a beautiful property, equipped with a private lakeside beach, fire pit, and a full bar. 

It was going to be the perfect getaway. You and Callie had rounded up all of your girlfriends, packed all of the essentials for a spa night, junk food, board games, movies. You’d packed four swimsuits just in case; the weather forecast looked fantastic, high seventies and low eighties all week long. 

It was going to be the perfect vacation. Well, almost perfect. 

Harry was going to be there.

Harry, the constant thorn in your side. Harry, Callie’s older brother. Harry, the one who eats all of your food whenever he visits. Harry, the one who constantly picked fights with you. You and him had never gotten along, not even for a second. 

There wasn’t a single person alive who got on your nerves more than he did. Generally, you got along with most people, but Harry was the exception to the rule. You couldn’t seem to shake him off. 

You weren’t about to let him ruin this trip, though. There were going to be fourteen people staying at the cabin, so it should be a piece of cake to avoid him for a week; there were plenty of other people to interact with. And even if you couldn’t avoid him, you were going to let his inevitable snarky comments roll off of your back. Well, you’d try to, at least.

Perhaps that’s what annoyed you most about him, the reaction you’d have from the smallest fight. With anyone else, it was water under the bridge… with Harry, you thought about it for days afterwards, thinking of better comebacks you should’ve said or ways you could have changed your schedule to steer clear of him altogether. He made your skin prickle with irritation, and turned you into somebody you didn’t like very much. 

It had been months since you’d seen him, not that you’d been keeping track. He typically visits Callie a few times a semester, but his senior year was more intense than he had anticipated, according to his sister. He just couldn’t spare the two hour drive from his university to yours.

But now it was summertime. Gone were the papers, projects, and responsibilities… it was finally time to relax and have fun. You only had one year of college left before graduation, so you and your friends wanted to make the most of it. Harry and his friends had just graduated, so they were at the cabin for their last hurrah before real life kicked in. 

If you were being honest with yourself, you were excited that Harry was bringing some of his frat brothers along. You and your ex had just ended things recently, and you were finally feeling ready to get back into the dating game. Being trapped in a cabin with a handful of cute guys felt like a dream. 

Finally, after what felt like centuries, Callie slowed the car down and turned onto a dirt road. The other girls in the car started desperately peering out the window to get a glimpse of the lake and surrounding forest. 

The moment the cabin came into view, your jaw dropped. You knew Callie’s parents were loaded, but this hardly looked like the rustic getaway you were expecting. There were three buildings, each labelled with a birch bark sign. Two speedboats and a pontoon were docked at the beach, inflatable tubes and paddleboards littered around the sand nearby. 

It wasn’t until Callie parked and shut off the engine that you heard a heavy bass thrum coming from the building marked MAIN CABIN. The other two buildings were labelled GUEST CABIN and SHOWER HOUSE. You were snapped out of it when Olivia and Jane, who had been sitting in the middle bucket seats, swung their sliding doors open and practically fell onto the ground. 

“I don’t think I remember how to walk normally,” Charlie, a girl from your art history class, groaned, “like, we were sitting in that car for so long….”

“Oh, shush,” your sister, Morgan, scoffed, “at least you got to sit up front. I was crammed into the back between these two.”

Both you and her girlfriend, Isobel, huffed in protest, but it wasn’t worth picking a fight over. You’d have plenty of time to bicker later. For now, the fresh air and cool breeze were like heaven after a long road trip.

“The boys beat us here,” Callie remarked.

Sure enough, there were two other cars already parked in the driveway. Back behind the main cabin, a plume of smoke rose into the air. You could hear loud laughter, loud enough to drown out the trap music they had playing. 

“They’ve started a bonfire!” Olivia squealed, clasping her hands in front of her chest. “I’m ready to get partying… it’s four in the afternoon and I’ve spent all day in a car. I need a drink.”

A few others were laughing and nodding in agreement, already making their way towards the boys, but you hung back. You’d party later, but after spending an entire day stuck with six other people, you just wanted to be alone. Plus, you wanted to drink tonight, and you’d never get around to unpacking your bag if you were wasted. 

You managed to dig your duffel bag out from the pile of luggage in the trunk, letting it fall to the ground with a thump. Callie had just been finishing up with a phone call when you looked up. 

“Hey, you’re not joining the others?” She asked. “I was about to head over, they’ve got a fire going. Just had to call my mum to let her know we made it.”

“I’ll join in a bit,” you promised “but I want to unpack my things first… where are we all staying?”

“You’re in the main cabin, I have you sharing a room with Charlie, is that okay?” She questioned. You nodded quickly, relief flooding over you. You liked all of the girls who came on the trip, but Charlie was by far the easiest to get along with. “Harry and I each have our own room in the main cabin, too, so you won’t be alone. Everyone else is in the guest cabin, though.”

“The guest cabin,” you giggled, slinging your bag over your shoulder as Callie lead you into the main building, “this place is swanky, Cal.”

“We host all of our family reunions here,” she shrugged, “we need lots of space. Plus it’s fun for occasions like this… we’re just lucky my dad is letting us use the boats. He treats those things like they’re his own children, only Harry is allowed to drive them this week.”

You made a face at the mention of her brother. “I’ll be staying far away from the boats, then.”

“Oh god,” Callie groaned, “I know you two don’t get along very well, but please try to be civil… we’re here for a whole week, after all.”

“I’m always civil,” you protested innocently, “it’s him you need to worry about.”

“Always civil,” she scoffed, “we both know that’s not true, but I’ll let it slide.”

Okay, so maybe you had a slight temper when it came to Harry, but nine times out of ten, he was the one who started the argument. You were never the type to actively seek out conflict, but Harry seemed to thrive off of it. Whether it was eating all the food from your half of the fridge, throwing his dark blue t-shirt in with your load of whites, or playing his guitar in your living room until three in the morning when you had a test the next day… it felt like he was out to get you. 

And he was never apologetic. Of course not. He probably got off on watching steam blow from your ears. 

You took a deep breath as Callie led you up a wooden staircase, trying not to let yourself get worked up. The cabin was gorgeous from what you’d seen on the main floor. Though you hadn’t lingered, you’d noticed that there was a bookshelf that took up an entire wall, packed to the brim with books with faded spines, vinyl records with worn edges, and an assortment of candles and bookends sprinkled throughout randomly. You couldn’t wait to explore the entire property. 

Photographs lined the walls of every hallway, snapshots of Harry and Callie running around as kids. There was a hilarious picture of a young Harry crying as he held a fishing pole, a bare hook dangling from the line. The Styles family clearly had a great sense of humor. You made a mental note to take a photo of it on your phone later; it would be perfect ammo for the next fight that Harry would inevitably start. 

“This is the bathroom…” she drawled, “no shower though. We all just use the shower house, which isn’t really as bad as it sounds. Just make sure you bring clothes with you, otherwise you’ll have to walk across the lawn in just your towel.”

You grimaced at the thought. As she continued to lead you down the hall, you saw two doors, one with CALLIE’S ROOM written in bright pink bubble letters, and the second with a wooden plaque, the word HARRY written in what was clearly a child’s handwriting. 

“This is technically my parents’ room, but we use it as a guest room if it’s just us kids,” Callie explained, stopping at the last door in the hallway, “they have a king bed, so I figured you and Charlie could just share.”

“That’s fine,” you assured her, not hesitating to drop your heavy duffel onto the side of the bed closest to the window, “this place is awesome, Callie.”

“Right?” She grinned. “I’m stoked for the week, it’s gonna be so fun.”

“You should go down to the bonfire,” you told her, placing a hand on your bag, “I’ll come join as soon as I’m done.”

Luckily, your roommate of two years understood that you needed alone time sometimes, so she left you without protest. 

This was exactly the recharge time that you needed. You were the kind of person who loved being around friends, but there was only so much socializing you could handle before you needed a break to be on your own. Even though you hadn’t spoken much on the ride to the cabin, being squished into a mini-van with six other girls drained your social battery. Giving yourself a moment to breathe and relax was necessary if you were going to rejoin the group.

Pressing the shuffle play button on your spotify, you smiled when the soft melody of your favorite folk song thrummed through your headphones. You swayed from side-to-side as you unzipped your bag, which had been packed to perfection. 

Four swimsuits, a different outfit for each day (plus a few extra items… overpacking is better than underpacking), sunscreen, bug spray, all of your toiletries. It was fun to organize everything into the empty wardrobe by the window; looking at all of your stuff just made you more excited to be here.

Time flew by as you danced around the room. Most of your things were put away, and you’d stashed your empty bag under the bed. The one thing you hadn’t put away yet was your assortment of swimsuits. It had been difficult picking out which ones you wanted to bring, but you’d settled on three bikinis and a one-piece with the sides cut out. You were itching to change out of your leggings and t-shirt; they felt gross against your skin after sitting in the van all day. 

Just as you went to pick up your navy blue sequined bikini top, a hand abruptly clamped down on your shoulder. 

“Holy shit!” You spun around on your heels, hand flying to cover your beating heart. You were less than pleased to find Harry standing there, wide-eyed and trying to mask his amusement by biting down on his lip. 

“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” he chuckled, “forgot how jumpy you are.”

“I’m not jumpy,” you frowned, pulling your headphones out of your ears and crossing your arms over your stomach, “what are you doing in here?”

“Nice to see you too,” he scoffed, dimple indenting into his cheek, “I was just using the loo, then I was gonna go back to the party, where we’re having fun. Foreign concept to you, I’m sure.”

You rolled your eyes, turning around so he couldn’t see how hard you were scowling. He always knew just what to say to get your blood boiling.

“Are you implying that I don’t know how to have fun, Harry?” You asked sarcastically. 

“Ah, I knew you were smarter than you looked,” he grinned. “Cute swim top.”

It was only then that you noticed his attire. Well, lack of attire. He was wearing the smallest swimming shorts you’d ever seen, his chest tanned from the sun and completely bare apart from a single cross necklace that hung over his sternum. His hair had grown out since the last time you saw him, and it looked a bit ridiculous with his sunglasses on top of his head. 

He looked good, not that you’d ever admit it. Luckily, you were fantastic at masking your wandering eyes; he had a tendency of walking around your apartment in his boxers during visits, so you’d had plenty of practice.

“Shut up,” you groaned, throwing the bikini top back onto the bed. You’d been planning on wearing that one, but Harry ruined it with his gross comment, just like he ruins most things for you. 

“I’m quite incapable of shutting up,” he mused, throwing himself down onto your side of the bed, “you should know this by now.”

“Trust me,” you were completely unamused, still standing with your arms crossed over your stomach, “I’m well aware.”

“You should come join the party,” he continued speaking as if you hadn’t said anything, seemingly unfazed by how visibly irritated you were, “it’s the first day and you’re already being a buzzkill. Maybe you should try like… try stepping out of your comfort zone, just for the week.”

“Thank you so much for that lovely unsolicited advice,” you said sarcastically, “now if we’re talking about comfort zones, you laying on my bed is definitely out of mine.”

“Please, you love me on your bed,” he smirked, closing his eyes, “this is a dream come true for you.”

“Are you delusional?” You were running out of patience. “Did you hit your head?”

“Why?” He said innocently. “Are you thinking about playing nurse? Because I hate to break your heart, but I’m not into wet blankets. Maybe if you loosened up a bit.”

If he wasn’t gone in thirty seconds, you were going to scream. He seemed to be enjoying himself, arms crossed behind his head with a twinkle in his eye as you stared daggers at him. 

“Are you quite done?” You spit. “I can feel my IQ dropping every time you speak. Plus, I need to change before I come down.”

“Ooh, can I watch?” He waggled his eyebrows. 

That was it. “Harry, get out, okay?”

“Jeez, okay, fine,” he grumbled, rolling clumsily off of the bed, “so bossy, you are.”

You pointed a finger towards the door, leveling him with the steeliest glare you could muster. “Out,” you repeated.

“You should come down sooner rather than later,” he said, completely unbothered, “I’m sure you’ll be much nicer once you’ve had a drink or two.”

He was gone before you could think of a response. The annoyance bubbling inside you was so intense, you felt like you wanted to break something. Instead, you punched your pillow a few times to release some tension, taking a deep breath to compose yourself after.

You wrinkled your nose at the blue bikini top, choosing to wear an orange floral patterned one instead. You’d never give Harry the satisfaction.

~~~

The fire was absolutely roaring. 

It was perfect. The fire pit was lined with wooden logs, the tops shaved off to make benches. There was hardly enough space for all fourteen of you, but you managed to squeeze in as you all roasted corn and hot dogs over the fire. It wasn’t too windy, so you didn’t have to worry about smoke blowing into your eyes, but the bugs were relentless. 

The air around you smelled of smoke, bug spray, and good food. There were a few different conversations happening, and every once in a while, a few people would break out into loud, contagious laughter. 

Harry had tried to talk to you when you came down, but you’d avoided him like the plague. You had absolutely nothing nice to say to him after his snarky comments in your room, and any further interaction with him at this point would just end in disaster. Thankfully, he was quickly distracted by some of his frat brothers, and he hadn’t tried to approach you again all night. 

Now, you were chatting with Olivia and one of the boys, Luke. By the time you’d gone down to the bonfire, everyone was several drinks in. You’d been forced to play catch-up by way of tequila shots, so you had a pleasant buzz running through your veins.

“This is a perfect summer night,” you sighed happily, pulling your skewer from the flames to keep your corn from burning. 

“Almost perfect,” a boy named Archie corrected, “we haven’t been out on the lake yet.”

Harry and three of the other boys had arrived a night early to get the boats ready, and now that Archie mentioned it, the pontoon was looking mighty tempting. The sun hadn’t fully set, but dusk was beginning to settle in, blanketing the forest with pink and orange hues, a gorgeous reflection of the sunset above you. It was the perfect time to go out on the water.

“How do we feel about the pontoon?” You wondered out loud. There was no way you’d all fit, but you could go in groups. 

“It’s too buggy to be on the water,” Callie wrinkled her nose, “I’m getting eaten alive as it is.”

“I’m down, as long as I can smoke a spliff while we’re out there,” James, one of the other boys, shrugged, “obviously I’ll share, I brought tons.”

A few others around the circle chimed in with their interest, and before you knew it, people were standing up to make their way over to the docks. You weren’t the best with names, but much to your relief, you’d introduced yourself to everyone going on the boat. Obviously, you already knew Morgan and Isobel, and were somewhat friendly with Jane, Archie, and James. 

“I’ll come along, too,” a voice behind you yawned. When you turned around, you immediately felt yourself melt. Ryan, a boy you’d had a single class with freshman year, was stretching his arms out as he stood up, and he was looking directly at you with a flirtatious smile. 

You’d had a major crush on him for the entirety of your class together, but you’d been too shy to say anything to him. He was a whole year older, after all, and that had been intimidating when you were eighteen. 

You returned his smile, biting down on your bottom lip shyly. 

“I guess I’m going too, then,” Harry sighed, shoving the last of his hot dog into his mouth before dusting his hands off. 

Immediately, your face dropped. Harry snorted when he saw your expression, digging around the pocket in his swimsuit to retrieve a key. 

“I’m the only one allowed to drive the boats, remember? Dad made me promise.” 

Your shoulders slumped. You’d completely forgotten that Callie had mentioned it to you earlier. You weren’t about to turn down a sunset boat ride though, especially now that Ryan was coming along as well. 

Everyone scarfed down the rest of their food in a rush as Harry went over to untie the boat and make sure it was good to go. You watched as he leaned far over the edge of the dock, so far that nearly fell face-first into the water before righting himself and trying again.. 

“Hey,” Ryan had walked next to you, following your line of sight, “he’s gonna fall in, isn’t he?”

“I hope so,” you giggled.

“You were in my History 204 class, weren’t you? Sophomore year?” He asked.

Your entire body flushed. You didn’t think he’d noticed you at all, let alone enough to remember you years later. Having Ryan up at the cabin, talking to you, felt like a dream come true.

“I was a freshman, but yeah, I think so,” you nodded nonchalantly, “I hated that professor.”

“Oh god, same!” He laughed, shaking his head, “such a drag, just constant pop quizzes!”

“Ugh, yes!” You turned your body towards him fully. “And that midterm assignment….”

“Don’t even get me started,” Ryan pretended to shiver in fear. 

You laughed loudly, and from the corner of your eye you saw Harry turn to glance in your direction. Upon a closer look, he’d managed to wrangle the boat so it was right up against the dock. 

“All aboard!” He shouted.

You rolled your eyes at his ridiculous antics. He always thought he was so funny, especially when you were the butt of his jokes. You hoped he’d be too busy driving to bother you. 

Luckily, Ryan seemed keen to stay by your side, even helping you step into the boat by taking your hand to keep you balanced, so Harry didn’t have much of a chance to say anything. By the time the boat was moving, everyone was sitting in a circle on the floor, clipping in the life jackets that Callie had forced us all to wear. 

As soon as the wind blew through your hair, you tilted your head up and closed your eyes. Lakes didn’t smell great, but you’d always loved it. It was classic, nostalgic. You’d spent every summer of your life swimming in Midwest lakes, so it felt just like summer.

James was true to his word, and pulled out four fatly rolled joints, passing them around with a lighter. You didn’t do this often, but it felt like the perfect moment. The sun was disappearing fast, and soon enough you’d be able to see the stars.

At some point, Harry slowed the engine down to a gentle hum when the boat reached the middle of the lake, getting a couple of the others to help him throw the anchor over the edge. Afterwards, he moved back over to the driving console and fiddled with a few buttons until quiet, staticky music sounded out. He then sat down across the circle from you, immediately accepting one of the joints from Archie. 

You stood up on your knees, and looked around. Water lapped lightly against the sides of the boat, so it took you a moment to find your equilibrium. The silhouette of the tall pines surrounding the lake were awe-striking. 

Nobody wanted to break the silence, so you didn’t. The weed was starting to take effect, making your body feel heavy and your head feel light. You started to lay down, unclipping your life jacket to use as a pillow. Slowly, your friends followed your lead, the sounds of shuffling and buckles popping open momentarily interrupting the tranquil silence. 

You watched the sky change from pink to a deep blue, only turning your head away when the first stars became visible. Morgan was laying next to you, staring straight up at the sky. To anyone else, she looked like she was lost in thought, but you knew her better than that. There was a slight frown, watery eyes, a little crinkle across her forehead... she was worried about something. 

“What are you thinking about?” You asked, trailing a hand down her arm. She let out a long exhale. 

“This is gonna sound so soppy,” Morgan sighed, “but I can’t stop thinking about like… how different I would be if I could just, change things about myself.”

“I like you the way you are,” Isobel frowned, sitting up slightly to look at her, “plus, you can change things about yourself. People do it all the time. New hairstyles, piercings, clothes. You could completely rebrand yourself anytime you want.”

“She’s not talking about her appearance,” you said softly, squeezing Morgan’s hand, “she means… like, changing who you are, at your very core. Things you can’t help.”

“I get that,” Ryan chimed in, “I think about that, too. If I could change one thing about myself, I would make myself more motivated. My life would be so different if I could just… alter one tiny thing.”

“Exactly!” Morgan nodded. “I would… make myself less impulsive, I think. I have so many regrets, and it’s all because I never properly think before I act. I’d be so much better off if I could just learn to be more careful.”

“I like how spontaneous you are,” Isobel hummed, “but I think I know what you mean. If I could change anything about myself, I’d make myself less anxious. Anxiety has always held me back so much… I mean, fuck… I haven’t even come out to my family yet, even though I know they’d support me. I’d be so much happier if I could appreciate the good things in life, rather than stress about how to keep them.”

“I’m with Isobel,” Harry spoke. He’d just taken a rather large pull from the joint, so his voice came out rougher than gravel. “Anxiety is such a bitch, and it’s like, out of our control. It’s kept me from talking about my feelings so many times, and I feel like I’ve missed out on some really good friendships because of it.”

Despite the heaviness of the conversation, you felt happier than you had in a long time. You’d smoked just enough to feel numb, and the waves were rocking against the boat so gently that it felt like you were floating. You took a deep breath in through your nose, feeling the crisp forest air fill your lungs before exhaling. The stars were shining in the cloudless sky, crickets were chirping along the shore, and soft music was filtering through the cheap boat stereo. It was peaceful, listening to your friends pour their hearts out. 

Each person took a turn sharing what they would change about themselves. Archie would get rid of his bad temper, James would become a better listener, and Jane would be less self-conscious. 

“What would you change?” Morgan turned to look at you. 

You and your twin sister were very different people. So different, in fact, that you sometimes forgot that you were identical. In moments like this, when her eyes were watery and hooded, voice thick with sadness and hope, that you were reminded of how similar you could be. 

“If I could change anything about myself….” you mused, closing your eyes. “I think I would… let things go.”

“Let things go?” Archie echoed.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “like, let go of the past. Whenever something bad happens to me, I let it really get to me. Negative memories and feelings just… constantly eat away at me. I wish I could just wake up in the morning and think about the future… because thinking about the past is exhausting.”

Nobody spoke after your confession. Nobody tried to assure anyone that they would be okay, or convince anyone that they didn’t need to change. There was something comforting about lying in a circle with your friends, your sister… even Harry, because you were all flawed, and none of you knew what the future would bring. You all found solace in the fact that you were here, right now, laying in a circle on a boat, with an old jazz song ringing through the air.

And who knows… maybe someday, you’ll all find a way to change the parts of yourselves that bother you. Maybe you’ll learn to appreciate them. Maybe your flaws will end up helping you in the long run. 

But for now, none of you were alone. And that was enough.

~~~

Thank you for reading! I love getting feedback, so let me know what you thought! xoxoxoxoxoooooxxxxxxooooooxxxoooo Tile

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