#well still i hope he’s supporting her bc it won’t be fair if she doesn’t get cas back

[single-snail]

if jensen was a good husband he would bring back his wife’s favorite character too

#thanks for dean now do danneel a favor #tho actually she technically has the same power has him as an ep huh #well still i hope he’s supporting her bc it won’t be fair if she doesn’t get cas back #i love you danneel #castiel #destiel #spn #the winchesters #jensen ackles #danneel ackles #supernatural

[i-bring-crack]

Considering I write fem Giyuu ships, I had an idea that just popped into my head after I reread the lady and her butler (goddamn is it one of the best webtoons for me--)

Tltr: The boys (Sanemi, Kyojuro and Sabito) think Giyuu is pregnant, shenanigans ensue...

So for some unknown reasons(money) Giyuu is living with Sabito, Sanemi and Kyojuro until they all finish college.

During one of these normal days Giyuu gets the news that Tsutako is pregnant, yay.

As an offer Tsutako let's Giyuu have her baby photos as well as the papers bc she is moving to another house and she doesn't want to loose them papers and photos whilst moving.

So Giyuu takes them home where she places them in the table and promptly leaves again bc Shinobu called her for smth idk.

Anyways Sabito comes in and finds the photos sticking out of her purse, curious as he is, tries to take a pick inside and is confused to see what the photos are.

Sanemi finds him looking through Giyuu's pursed and asks what the hell is he doing and Sabito shows him the scans and him, being the oldest of seven knows exactly what those photos are and is just like "Oh fuck, Giyuu's pregnant."

They quickly call Kyojuro to tell him about it and all he's also like "What? she doesn't have a boyfriend?"

So they start thinking she must have been hidding some secrets from them, which makes them all sad since they are friends(maybe her only +Shinobu and Tan), then Sabito thinks that it wouldn't really be possible for her to hide it from them since she is always so open about what she does, so it must have been possible that someone forced her to it.

Before jumping to conclusions they all just put back the things and try to wait for her to explain to them instead.

So they do and she comes home back at midnight to be greeted by 3 men just staring her as they sit in the sofa with serious faces.

She's like, really really tired and mad bc Shinobu played a few test subjects and pranks on her again so she doesn't want to deal with whatever she did wrong but she's not escaping this conversation any time soon.

Kyojuro tries to lighten her up by saying that whatever she needs they will always be there for her and that none of them will judge her or leave here during these times.

Sabitos gets all full emotional saying that he should have told then sooner and that why didn't she trust them before and that she is just too young to have done this. You know that meme:

"You're too young! You're too beautiful!!"

"What. The. Fuck are talking about?

Sanemi getting riled up demanding to know the name of the father and wanting to beat his ass.

At that last part Giyuu is like "oh you saw the pics" and decides to just say that "yeah a baby is coming." Literally leaving the fact about it being Tsutako's child not hers and that she wanted it to be a surprise 3 months from now because that's when Tsutako plans to make the baby shower.

With that out the way she just goes to sleep.

The next three months are really weird to her cuz the three of them are all being really really protective of her, and even when she already says she doesn't need help in anything they still do it for her.

She just let's it off the hook bc midterms are coming.

They find out only after attending Tsutako's baby shower, and by then, they had told all of their friends(hashiras, kamaboko squad, maybe even their families Oh God that one is going to be so great) who asked Giyuu about the baby and her telling them about Tsutako's child.

And bc they are such good friends, all of them just decided to bet their money on who asks to be the father first while also hiding the secret from the trio.

Their faces at the baby showers are just *chef's kiss*

---

Bonus on the whole thing:

-Yeah a lot of funny miscommunication got involved so when Sanemi tried to ask about the baby's father again, she just says it's nobody important (cuz Tsutako's fiance was an asshole, that's kinda why Tsutako wanted to move and she also wanted to keep it a secret from him though she didn't tell Giyuu about that part.)

-Considering Sanemi's past with his abusive father it just gets him more into the overprotective father role, almost going so far to find that bastard who made Giyuu pregnant, but at last couldn't find him.

-He still has a murder plan for that bastard (XD)

-Fun moments of Kyojuro and Giyuu going out to the mall and looking over the baby's section. (IMAGINE THE MOMENTS DAMMIT)

-They probably go to the mall a lot of times now just see the baby toys and stuff, maybe get realky emotional in the process.

-Add on after edit: KYO TELLING RUKA and Ruka telling her about the moments when kyojuro was a little baby, as well as giving good food recipes for food cravings.

-Sabito being the most overprotective by making her a healthy meal every day or working out or just anything that Shinobu tells her is good to do.(His only father figure is Urokodaki so he hopes he can be just as good as him.)

-He sees a ramen bowl and he just yeets it to the trash.

Sabito: Gimme that *takes beer out of her hands and throws it*

Sabito: Nope! *Slam dunks that cigarette to the ground*

Sabito: Why aren't you working out today, you need to get you cardio done! Do you want that baby to be dissapointed in you once it comes out?!

-Giyuu just listens to him, he's been her back up bone for years, ain't nothing really changing.

_

-Uzui, Muichiro, Tanjiro and Mitsuri betting on Kyojuro to make the first move.

-Masachika, Genya, Kanae, Obanai and Himejima being there for Sanemi and betting on him.

-Makomo, Nezuko, Inosuke and Shinobu betting that Sabito will fly first fir the position and possibly use this a chance to get to date Giyuu.

-Tanjiro poor boy, he can't face any of them for a while bc of his lying face.

-The Kamados baking so many goods for Tsutako's baby.

-Shinobu telling them this and that about how to take care of Giyuu or lying to keep the secret up.

"Yes you must give them a lot if hugs."

"Oh, sometimes women don't throw up a lot."

"Yes, take her to swimming classes." She knows Sabito won't last a day with swimsuit Giyuu.

-Uzui creating the most flamboyant baby shower. His wifes are smitten with the things about the baby.

-Oh god the strenghts Makomo, Masachika and Uzui go to get their ships sailed.

-Mitsuri just gushing about the baby, when she gets to meet them she squeals so hard she faited of cuteness (fair)

-Edit: Even Oyakata-Sama is on this! Being Giyuu's superior he can't help but worry about Giyuu's pregnancy when he was told about it, his misunderstanding was cleared and let her visit Tsutako whenever she wanted.

-Giyuu received a lot of presents for the baby who she gave to Tsutako, she was really to have so many nice and supportive friends, even if like, only three of them didn't know about it.

__

After the misunderstanding Tsutako is like "Sis I'm jealous, why can't you lend me at least one of them."

-Anywaya since at the end Tsutako lives close to her now and the misunderstanding was clear, they are still overprotective, just this time Tsutako is cared for she treats them like little brothers, and judges their capabilities as Giyuu's boyfriend candidates.

Giyuu is happy that they are helping her and her sister.

All four of them wait for Tsutako when the baby is born.

They like the kid a lot. Even if it isn't Giyuu's.

Plus weirdly enough it looks like Giyuu bc they are always frowning too...

Edits: Grammar and yes the baby's name is Giichi

#Fem Giyuu #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu manga #sabigiyuu #rengiyuu #sanegiyuu #giyuu tomioka #sabito #sanemi shinazugawa #rengoku kyoujurou #fanfic drabble #someone help me make this real #add more if you like

[voiceless-terror]

would you consider writing me some precanon jongeorgie angst. bc i imagine they probably bonded over their interest in the supernatural but never. you know. actually talked about their personal experiences/trauma. just give me a little of both of them handling that trauma very badly while never admitting their closest brush with the supernatural. or something. idk.

Hello anon! I haven’t written Jon/Georgie yet, but this prompt was too good to pass up. Hope you like!

Being with Georgie was easy. It shouldn’t have been, not for him.

But it was.

She carried herself with the utmost surety: of her opinions, of her feelings, of her place in the world. It wasn’t arrogance, more like confidence and something else Jon couldn’t quite put his finger on. There was a blankness in her eyes sometimes. Not an absence of feeling but an absence of...understanding, maybe. Of empathy. Georgie saw the world in black and white; she knew exactly what was right and what was wrong. She was blunt. She bulldozed over others in conversations, pointed out flaws that polite society knew to overlook and not name. Jon admired it, as much as it made him cringe.

But it was complemented by her fierce capacity for loving, her clever, teasing words, the way her fingers ran through his hair when he was stressed. That black and white view could quiet his mind like no other- ‘yes, Jon’, ‘no, Jon.’  She listened to his incessant rambling, nodding in the right places and adding her own commentary. She filled out the crosswords in the morning, her brow furrowed in concentration, colorful nails tapping at the table. She never wanted help, stubborn to a fault. Her dark skin ethereal in the morning light, the way her voice was low and croaky before her coffee. The ease with which she said ‘I love you.’ 

He remembered the day she first approached him, all ripped-tights and smudged, smoky eyeshadow. Just leaned against the wall on that chilly fall night and snatched the cigarette right from his hand, an eyebrow flicked upward as she took a drag. He couldn’t get a word out, just silently took her phone when she offered it and typed in a number with shaking hands. A year later and she was still that same girl, though he’d seen her stash of manga and her weird cat memorabilia. She was whole, real. It was comfortable.

“I’m not really sure if I should go.” They’re curled up on the couch, Jon leaning into the warm bulk of her. “All of the others are going, though.”

“It’s not like you’re close, right?” Jon’s petting the Admiral, the new addition to the household fitting in seamlessly. “I’m sure she won’t take it as an insult. You can always say you’re busy. Who was it, again? Her father?”

“Yeah.” Georgie’s shifting against him, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. It’s odd- she’s not usually so awkward about these things. If there’s something she doesn’t want to talk about, she shuts it down right away. This seems...different. “And no, not close. But everyone else is going- they want to show their support, I guess. It would be awkward if I didn’t.”

Perhaps Georgie didn’t like funerals. You’re not supposed to, of course. Maybe it was a phobia, a perfectly valid one. Plenty of people don’t like to see the reminder of death laid out before them. Jon’s been to a few in his lifetime- for his Gran’s friend, for a distant cousin.

For his parents.

He doesn’t remember his father’s, he might not have even gone. He was only two at the time. He distantly remembers his mother’s; it wasn’t well attended, he sat in the front row with his Gran. He doesn’t even remember crying, if he even realized the thing in the box was his mother, dead and gone.

Needless to say, he understands Georgie’s sentiments. “You don’t have to go, not if...not if you don’t like it. Plenty of people are uncomfortable with death-” This was the wrong thing to say, for Georgie tensed instantly, leaning away from him.

“That’s not it at all,” she says, snatching her legs out from where Jon’s leaning comfortable against them. “It’s- it’s the performance of it all. All those people standing around a body, sniffling and moaning-”

Jon tried for levity, bristling at her tone. “People grieve, they need closure-”

Georgie snorted, this time shoving him away on the couch, the Admiral jumping from Jon’s lap at the movement. Her words became impassioned, as if Jon needed to know, needed to understand. “Cremate them, then! Say a few words, scatter the ashes, whatever. But having the body on display like that?” She gets up, starts to pace. Jon’s never seen her like this. “Paint the corpse, dress it up, pretend it’s a person still but it’s not, and everyone’s just standing there around it, praying over it and watching it like it’s not just rotting meat you put lipstick on-”

“Georgie!”

“I can’t stand it.” She stops in front of him, chest heaving and eyes aflame. “What’s so monumental about it? We live, we die- and her father was old, it was bound to happen sometime. No need to make such a to-do. It’s- it’s just disgusting, is what it is.” She didn’t continue, and an awkward silence permeated the room. 

Georgie got worked up about things on occasion. But the wild look in her eye, the total sense of incomprehension was...disconcerting. He agreed with her on certain points, of course, but the vehemence behind them- something wasn’t right. But it didn’t feel right to pry, either, and Georgie surely wouldn’t appreciate it.

“You could just say you’re busy, you don’t have to go,” he tries tentatively. She seems to deflate where she stands, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable. So he stands up, taking her hand in his. She lets him, but doesn’t meet his eyes. “But if you do, I can come with you. If you’d like.”

They stand in the very back row of the church after awkwardly greeting her grieving coworker. Georgie’s nails dig painfully into his arm, but he says nothing. They leave after ten minutes and stop at an Indian buffet on the way home. He silently watches her dig into a curry, his own untouched.

___________

When she first met Jon, she thought he was utterly out of her league.

It was her first semester back at school, she was an absolute fucking mess- drinking at all hours, barely present in her classes. She was out at the bar with a few new friends, most of whom she’d already forgotten the names of, and saw him standing there under a single flickering lamp, a cigarette dangling from long, slender fingers, raven hair back in a messy bun. Not many people could pull that off but he looked almost effortlessly cool (a thing she’d later find laughable for ever thinking) in his dingy leather jacket, his eyes far away and shadowed. She wondered what made him lose sleep. He had an odd, crooked little smile on his face and she was filled with liquid courage. The look he gave her when she took that cigarette out of his hand made her knees weak, and he took the proffered phone like he was only a little impressed. She sent a text to his phone and left, so embarrassed she went straight home.

He never did text her. To be fair, she never expected him to.

But she found him not two days later, hunched over a table in the campus library. She did a double take- surely this couldn’t be him, her impossibly handsome, silent figure who she surely dreamed up. But there was no mistaking that hair, those eyes. He was smaller, somehow diminished in his baggy jumper and wire-rimmed glasses, tapping a pencil against his textbook in irritation. Before she knew it she found herself picking up her phone, sending a text to the number with no name. And sure enough, his phone buzzed.

They went out on their first date a day later.

Jon was a ball of nerves, awkward and not at all like the man she thought she met that night. Somehow, the real Jon was better. She liked the way he blushed and stammered, the way a touch of her hand left him flustered and unable to speak. The way he could talk for hours about nothing at all, making even the most dull of subjects seem interesting with that voice of his- a voice surely meant for radio or T.V., something Jon himself endlessly scoffed at whenever she brought it up. They would sit in front of the telly for hours, marathoning ridiculous ghost hunting shows and pointing out the obvious fakes. Jon had a weakness for ghost stories, just like she did. “Most of them are absolute drivel, of course,” he said.

Most of them. 

They found comfort in each other, their small island of two, had no need for other company. Georgie had never been able to relate to someone so well, not since Alex, and Jon was never fond of crowds. Three months in he tried to break up with her, saying he could never give her what ‘she needed’ but she stopped that in its tracks- Georgie would be the one who decided what she did and didn’t need, thank you very much. She liked the way he leaned into her on movie nights, like her touch was the only thing that mattered. The sincerity in his eyes whenever he complimented her in that earnest, awkward way of his. He challenged her when he thought she was wrong, sometimes their fights lasted days. But they always came back to one another, each knowing they had no one else who understood them. Was it healthy? Georgie couldn’t answer that, she didn’t know herself. Jon probably didn’t either. But she loved him, in her way. 

That night they have a few glasses of wine, and Jon’s regaling her with some ridiculous story from his youth- apparently he was somewhat of a delinquent, wandering about at all hours. She laughs in delight, imagining a small, serious Jon climbing fences and evading the law. But suddenly Jon stops, his eyes going wide and his face growing ashen as he stares unblinking at the table.

It’s a spider- a tiny thing, really. Georgie’s been seeing a lot of them lately, and she really should be better about dusting the place. But Jon- Jon looks absolutely terrified, like the thing’s bound to leap out and kill him. She opens her mouth to tease, an instinctive reaction, but is instead startled by the loud smack of a hand against the table. Jon had smashed it certainly, but he lifts his hand and stares at it in wide-eyed horror, as if whatever he sees is nine times worse than the original thing.

“Jon-”

The chair hits the ground as he stumbles to her bathroom with heavy, labored breathing. She gets up slowly, approaching as quietly as possible to find him hyperventilating against the sink, the faucet on full blast as he washes his hand- scratches it, really. He’s mumbling frantically under his breath.

“...so many legs, get off, get off-”

She makes her presence known as not to startle him, approaching from the side and gently wrapping a hand around his arm once she sees him drawing blood. He starts anyway, his movements jerky and frenzied as he rips his arm away like her touch burns.

“It’s just a spider Jon,” she says softly, lifting her hands to show she means no harm. “It’s okay, you got it, it’s dead now-”

“But what if it isn’t!” He spits, slamming his hands on the marble rim of the sink and leaving bloody prints in his wake. He’s breathing so fast she thinks he might pass out. “What if it isn’t?”

She has no answer to that.

It takes about two hours, a hot shower and a stiff drink for him to calm down. They lay on the couch, watching something stupid, mind-numbing. She runs her fingers through his hair. He always liked that. She doesn’t say a word, he’s exhausted, and she knows from experience that pushing him will just lead to another fit like before. The next day, he brings her Hungarian by way of apology. They eat in a more comfortable silence, Jon gradually warming up as the evening goes on. Still, she doesn’t ask.

She spends the weekend cleaning her flat, standing on a chair and vacuuming at the cobwebs.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28440474

#my writing #prompt fill #the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #georgie barker #jongeorgie #precanon #angst #bit of a relationship study idk what you'd call that #Anonymous

[ifeelallwrite]

Let’s talk about Hospital Playlist. (KDRAMA REVIEW)

note: does contain spoilers

When people ask me what is my favorite Korean drama of all time, with no doubt, IT’S HOSPITAL PLAYLIST. This drama has the comic relief, the emotional scenes, realistic characters-just to name a few. No toxic relationships and petty revenge fights. Nothing else will stop me for saying that this is the ultimate feel good drama.

SYNOPSIS: The drama shows insights into the daily lives of doctors and nurses working at Yulje Medical Hospital. It focuses on 5 doctors who have been friends since medical school, who also play together as a band.

This drama encompasses so many elements and characters so bear with me yo this might be real long 

Hospital Playlist is produced/written by the Shin-Lee PD and writer pairing, whose previous works were the renowned Reply trilogy and Prison Playbook (which are *chef’s kiss*) I really like that all their dramas really highlight humanism, and puts emphasis on creating a heartwarming and realistic series. There isn’t always a major conflict to be resolved, but instead it showcases how different people-in this case mostly those in the medical field-go on about their daily lives.  I also liked their reasoning to produce a medical drama which was that hospitals were where the most dramatic moments occurred, for example during births, deaths or sickness. And since we are still in the Covid-19 pandemic, it ties in greatly to be paying homage to all the medical personnel saving lives. Hence, props to those who were involved in this meaningful masterpiece <3

The drama is not the usual 16 episodes, but has 12 episodes for each season (SEASON 2 IS COMING SOON YAAS) Good thing is I felt that they were still able to weave a dynamic storyline in the first season even with lesser episodes. The writing was just top-notch with the witty humor bits. Additionally, the music is AMAZING. I love the concept of the main characters being a band and playing different songs every episode too.

Okay, now onto the characters. I thought that every character in this drama was well rounded. Starting of with the main five characters, also known as The 99ers, whose distinctive personalities and natural chemistry make all of them extremely likeable. All main characters are professors of different specialties, and I find the male OB-GYN (Seokhyeong) and female neurosurgeon (Songhwa) very refreshing. Also, I like Shin-Lee dramas always have characters that might be realistic yet hardly seen in other dramas or films. For example, Professor Ahn Jeongwon. Despite being a chaebol (inheritor/heir), he isn’t depicted as a spoilt brat or a cold character, instead as a warm Pediatric doctor who uses his wealth to secretly support patients in need. However it makes him stingy to his friends LOL

To be honest, I really thought I was gonna dislike Junwan due to his cold and tsundere nature. I pretty much believed that he was going to be the party pooper type of the bunch, but with the writer being a master of character development, he turned out to be really sincere and hilarious at times. Same for Ikjun, who apart from his enthusiastic and happy go lucky exterior, cares the most about the people around him. Although Seokhyeong seemed detached and introverted, he shows a emotional side to his friends as well as his mother. Songhwa is literally a girlboss though haha she’s smart, capable and gets along with everyone well. And she’s the most sane out of the bunch. 

With all the main characters, we have the relationships. Junwan is the first to date seriously with Iksun (the dog or Micky? jkjk) who is Ikjun’s sister. When it first happened I was like not again Jung Kyung Ho (bc he dated his best friend’s sis in prison playbook too LMAO) I think their relationship was realistic and open. It also showed a more sensitive side to Junwan who would do anything for her. I especially liked how he said he didn’t need access to her phone because he trusted her. Yet as all couples do, they have their fair share of ups and downs. Like conflicts on getting married and a long distance relationship as Iksun moves overseas for graduate studies. I don’t really know how to take the ambiguous ending for these two, as Junwan receives the returned box (that has the ring he sent) I really hope nothing bad happens to these two though.

I’m sure we all love Wintergarden couple though, tbh they’re kinda my OTP at the moment 🤣 It was pretty much a ‘will they won’t they’ relationship with a relatively slow build. I think Gyeoul turned out to be one of my favourite characters. Shin Hyun Been did a good job at portraying her as a straightforward but innocent Resident, who is pretty much openly crushing on Jeongwon. The scenes they had together were adorably awkward (and the scene where he gives her chocopies omg) And when Jeongwon battles his inner conflict to become a priest, the final decision where they kiss was beautifully shot, with the actors both showcasing their emotions extremely well. 

Then we have Chihong who pursues Songhwa, his professor. Midway through the drama, it is also shown that Ikjun and Songhwa might have had romantic feelings for each other. Songhwa ends up rejecting Chihong’s confession. In my opinion, Chihong was quite a interesting character but I didn’t really like him at the end. (I like the actor though) He did a real jerk move during drinking games, insisting on Ikjun to confess his feelings towards her even though he is already trying not to put Songhwa in an awkward spot. Although his character did end up making a cool exit and when I thought about his incredible story of soldier to doctor, I kinda regret disliking him that much. As for IkSong, In the final episode Ikjun confesses to her one last time, and we are left waiting for Songhwa’s reply. As much as I love this pairing, I don’t think that the ship will sail or maybe not as quickly as we think. I believe Songhwa would meticulously consider the sacrifices to their friendship or other aspects and might not be able to bring herself to it, but I hope it’s otherwise. 

Lastly not forgetting Seokhyeong and Minha, another Professor+resident pairing. This one’s a bit ambiguous though, mainly because there hasn’t been much romantic development. To me, the most impactful scene came from Minha who had been irritated by continuous night shifts and was on the verge of a breakdown. She ended up remarkably saving a patient, starting off surgery on her own for the first time. Oh man Minha was such a lovable character, I remember feeling so bad for her but extremely proud of her for her accomplishment. Although Seokhyeong seemed a bit aloof and distant (which was intentional bc he’s an introvert) I think the backstory and all the hardships he faced with his family really made me feel for him. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not so sure if the ship will sail because of the phone call from his ex-wife and Minha’s somewhat rejected confession. But who knows, they might pull off a twist 👀

Apart from all these characters, there are more characters HHAHAH However, I think this is the killing point of ShinLee dramas. Unlike typical dramas which usually focuses on a main character and 2-3 side characters, they like to cast a diverse range of actors (especially those from theatre/musicals and lesser known drama/movie actors) while actually give their characters personality or a reason to be there. I’ve seen many dramas where extras or side characters were kind of irrelevant thus making me feel that they weren’t needed to build the storyline, yet ShinLee dramas hit different y’all. Every role, no matter how small, holds significance to the drama. It really seemed like a collaborative work that shows off every actors skills (and not forgetting staffs) and teamwork.

Anyways because there are way too many characters and too many scenes for me to mention them all, I’ll just talk about some honourable mentions heheh

1. Sunbin and Seokmin confession scene (ahh so cute)

I kinda sensed that they liked each other at the start but I didn’t know Seokmin would ask her out on a date at the end. Even though it’s kinda awkward that they are dating and working with each other though (both are in the same department) but hey the confession was cute and awkward and just warm and fuzzy 🥰

2. MAMA ROSA IS THE QUEENN

I think we all (would) love Mama Rosa because she’s a real one ☝️ (probably the coolest mother ever) She’s feisty, hilarious and kind to others. Plus her friendship with Ju Jong Su was just adorable and super wholesome. The scenes where they were supporting one another through tough times and hanging out with each other when they felt lonely always put a smile on my face. Oh and how Mama Rosa treated Gyeoul was extremely sweet. (as well as Seokhyeong’s mother) Despite her tough exterior, she’s a likeable character for being a strong but caring woman.

3. Just Do Jae Hak

I seriously love this guy so muchhh omg he’s so funny

Do Jae Hak has a funny amd clumsy personality, though it’s clear he’s been through a lot and is strong willed person. From admitting his indecisiveness to counselling Jun Wan on his love issues, there’s literally nothing to hate about him.

4. Uju and his dadd

The father and son chemistry between these two is so good omg. The scenes with these two are so adorable and heartwarming (not to mention hilarious) It’s amazing to see how Ikjun cares so much for Uju despite his hectic workdays while going through infidelity issues with his ex-wife. Uju is matured for his age and shows his love and appreciation for his dad too, making their interaction a great portrayal of a healthy family relationship💞

5. the food stealing the show🥘

Who doesn’t love food and when a show has great food scenes? Some of the best scenes are definitely when the 99s gather to eat. It really showcases each character’s personality with the tiniest details as well as highlight warm delicious meals. Just don’t watch this when you’re hungry at 2am in the morning guys you’ll be drooling all over your screens HAHAHA

Of course there are way more aspects, like Hongdo and Yoonbok, Ikjun and Iksun’s pigeon jokes and raps, or Jeongwon drunk crying in the chicken shop with his brother (who was his coach in Reply 1994 when he played Chilbong LOL)

Most importantly, I think it is the themes and messages that you get from the drama that really create such a lasting impression. Not only does it hit you in the feels with the hardships of hospital patients, or the hardworking doctors+nurses who are working long shifts saving lives, it also tackles topics of friendships through the possibilities of platonic and friends-to-lovers relationships. However I think the biggest lesson for me came from Seokhyeong, who learns to live his life doing what he want, with the people he treasures. Although the drama might seem slow at times (mainly because there isn’t really a main plot line/conflict occurring), but this drama would still bring you on a journey where you would laugh, cry and finish the series, begging for season 2 ✌🏻

#hospital playlist #kdrama recommendations #kdrama review #kdrama #yoo yeon seok #jo jung suk #kim dae myung #jeon mi do #jung kyung ho #shin hyun been #wise doctor life #netflix korean drama #netflix #asian drama #medical drama #friendship drama #korean drama #korean #korean drama review #hospital playlist review

[seancekitsch]

Duty: A Cahir x Reader fic in the Intended series

Warnings: oral and penatrative sex, butchering of the tale of lady ragnell and sir gawain bc i remembered it wrong from my childhood, the slightest twinge of angst if you squint, hints to book canon events, 3k of unedited smut as literally always

You shiver has Cahir pulling the blanket up over your shoulders as you snuggle closer to him. Instead of east which proved two years ago to be completely unfruitful, you head north now, having heard something on the road about the Nilfgaardian army heading north. Wherever they were headed, you both figured your cousin might be. How excited you think she’ll be to see you alive. A family member not lost to the flames. Maybe she wouldn't recognize you anymore, now that you wear trousers and travel with a fugitive. Though you never felt hot summers in Cintra, going even farther north set the chill in even longer into the year. You figure it will be the height of the summer before you stop shivering. You wonder how Cahir handles it. Sweet Cahir who grew up in the south, the tropical heat of Vicovaro.You love the stories of summers by the Alba river, the warm summer nights under the stars. At this point, it seems like you'll never see it for yourself, so you vicariously live it through the stories he tells you. You ask him to tell them all the time, probably something he’s extremely tired of repeating, but it keeps away the chill, at least for a while.

He pulls your naked body a little closer to his, something he always says is that body heat helps to warm your bones. You think it might just be something he says to stay naked in bed with you a little longer. Since being able to pick up a little work on your travels, finding a room at an inns that the innkeepers would look the other way when you arrived, you can now afford to do this with him, rather than laying beneath the stars. You almost forgot what a bed felt like, but now every night your back thanks you for the new sleeping arrangements.

Your arm snakes around his waist, giving him as squeeze as you press a quick kiss to his pectoral. Contented sighs are common between the two of you, these relaxed nights frozen in time where you can be your most vulnerable on a continent that works its hardest to beat the vulnerability out of everyone.

Your eyes catch sight of the sword on the chest of drawers. Your sword. Not the dagger, not the sword Cahir lent you for practice. The sword he bought you and specifically had made for you. A weapon as an act of true love that means the world to you. He seems to catch the sight as well, you assume with his next words.

“What shall you name your sword?” he plays with your fingers, tangling your hands together. Your hands are soft compared to his, but he suspects that won't be for long.

“Ragnell,” you answer without hesitation.

“Ragnell?” he repeats.

“Yes, it's from a story that I heard as a child. There was this man that told stories the elves knew in the library.”

He presses a kiss to your knuckles, then realizes, “Aren’t the stories of elves taboo?”

You chuckle, and press a kiss to his chest.

“Oh I’m sure he would lose his keep if I squealed. Good thing I can keep a secret,” You hum, recalling the story, “There was a knight, and he was the nicest knight. And he fell in love with this woman who was cursed to be very ugly. She did not think he would actually love her, but he did and he married her. On their wedding night half of the curse was lifted, and she said: do you want me ugly during the day when others see me? Or only at night when it's just you seeing me? The knight, I forget his name, says: You may choose, I will be a good husband and love you either way. That act of love and freedom frees her from the curse and she can choose how he looks. It was my favorite story.”

Ragnell was the cursed woman, and he realizes it's the perfect name for the sword. A beautiful piece of metal but used for ugly purposes. He stares up at the gauzy canopy above your heads, the mauves and dark blues swirling together like the night sky. Like so many nights he spent with you in his arms next to the campfire.

Cahir wishes he knew you when he was younger. Knowing his fair share of stories of Nilfgaardian knighthood and bravery, he was as much a storyteller as a rambunctious child who used to run around the grounds of Darn Dyffra with a wooden sword in his hands. Had he met you earlier, you might have grown up loving one another. Maybe already married, living as count and countess of Darn Dyffra, destiny wouldn't need either of you in what it has plans. If only. He knows that even when he was young, he dreamt of you. Your features blurred and distorted, but it was always you. It took seeing you in the flames of Cintra that night to see you in focus, but it was always you. For a man who valued his pride, his accomplishments, he cannot help but to see his failures now as blessings. The intuition he felt in Cintra, the failure of what was to be his most important mission, utter failure but it was all to bring him to you.

“Ragnell it is,” he repeats your words, the name sounding nice on his tongue now that it has meaning, “May she serve you well.”

And then he kisses you on the mouth, lips capturing yours, open and eager. His tongue quickly finds yours, passing through your mouth like a promise, the sealing of a contract between your lips. He shifts to be on top of you, slotting his legs between yours as the hand not supporting him above you roams your body. After two years, affection like this doesn't feel stolen between the two of you, not rushed and fumbling like it used to feel. He moves from your mouth to your jaw, to your neck and then to your collarbone as his groping and fondling continues, spurred on by your soft moans and your skin feeling oh so hot under his touch. He kisses at your collarbone, licking and sucking a mark there, but before he continues you stop him.

“You don't have to, my love,” You lazily assure him, “You're tired.”

“I do,” he says, kissing down your body, from your chest, the valley of your sternum, your navel. You gasp sharply as his tongue darts out of his mouth to lick a stripe up along your hip above the bone. He continues farther, scooting to the edge of the bed, parting your thighs, pressing a lewd kiss to the inside of each of them.

“What kind of a knight would I be if I did not fulfill my duty to you?” There's playfulness in his tone that makes  your heart race, and you prop yourself up on your elbow to look him in the eye. You feel as if you’ll combust if he doesn't touch you more.

“So this is your duty to me? This specifically?” The image of you looking down at him, chest heaving and eyes wide is all he needs to want to dive headfirst into your heat, to spend the rest of his night between your legs.

There's something devilish in his eyes as he chuckles and presses another kiss to the inside of your thigh, nipping at it gently as you gasp.

“It is my duty to keep my lady satisfied, or else she chooses to leave me for another,” he mumbles as his lips move up closer to where you want him.

“Cahir,” your breath hitches as he tests the waters, licking teasingly at your clit, almost silencing you, “You have to be the only person I’ve chosen in my life.”

That's music to his ears. He licks again, this time with more precision, more purpose, earning him the ghost of a moan, the first of many. Each lick earns him a moan, but they’re nothing compared to the shaking moan that turns into a closed mouth whine as you head falls back into the sheets, his lips coming around the bud to suck on it.

“Cahir,” his name falls from your lips with a sigh. He watches you intently, giving your cult another harsh suck before dipping lower, licking you open and tasting your arousal.

“Better than the sweetest honey that exists,” he hums, mostly to himself, but your breath hitches again in response. He licks up as much as he can, tongue as deep in you as he can manage. One of your hands finds his hair as you chant his name, first running fingers through it gently, then starting to rake and pull as his ministrations pick up the pace.

Every time Cahir’s tongue is inside you, it's a dedication to your pleasure and your pleasure alone. You’ve long since forbidden him from apologizing again and again for the circumstances of your meeting. All in the past, you always say, but he hopes every time you come undone on his tongue he repents just that much more for the harm he caused you so many months ago. Cahir drinks you in, indulging and loving every second of it. Your back is arched off the bed, legs thrown over his shoulders as you grasp at his hair and the bedsheets. He loves the sting of your nails against his scalp.

It’s when he adds two fingers that your body reacts like lightning, replacing his tongue and again his lips attaching to your clit. There are tears, beautiful tears in the corners of your eyes as he watches you start to lose yourself. That’s right, he thinks, fall apart for me love. Your moans are beautiful, ragged from breathlessness and sounding like a prayer of his name and only his name, and he pulls them from you with every thrust of his fingers. He feels your muscles going taut under his touch, he can feel you ready to come.

“Give it to me, love, let go,” he urges, his free hand reaching over to grab your hand. He holds your hand as you come, shaking with a silent scream from your lips. His mouth and fingers work you through your peak, letting you down gently; his mouth licking up every last drop of your wetness.

“But what about you?” you ask as he comes back up to lay with you.

“You needn’t do anything tonight love,”Cahir whispers as he kisses you, mouth still wet from you. You taste sweet on his tongue, delving into your mouth as you regain your breath, body pliant beneath his gentle touch. But as much as he can say that, you can feel him hard and straining against your thigh, body begging for you even if he won't voice his needs.

“No, Cahir, let me reward you for taking care of me,” you break the kiss, a mischievous smile gracing your lips, “Think of it as MY duty to you.”

Your hands grab his shoulders and push him back onto the bed, now it being his turn to lay back and enjoy himself. You kiss him again on the mouth sweetly while you maneuver your legs over his hips to straddle him, soft hands cupping his cheeks as you do. Those stormy blue eyes watch your every movement as you start to move, rubbing yourself against him. The noises that tumble from his lips are beautiful, little whimpers and moans from someone who anyone but you would consider fearsome and formidable. To you, he's just Cahir; Cahir that’s oh so reactive to your touch, Cahir that’s so very vulnerable. A low, throaty moan reverberates from his chest as you line him up with your entrance and sink down onto his length inch by inch.

“Beautiful,” he sighs as his hands find their place on your hips, holding you against him. You lean back down, kissing him again as you start to rock against him, catching little moans of his on your tongue as you slowly bring him to the edge. His warm hands hold you tightly, gently guiding your hips as he thanks you through kisses. You take such good care of him. You kiss him again, and then pull away.

“I’m close.”

“Again?”

You nod, and he squeezes your hips a little tighter, your head dipping down, almost close enough to kiss him, resting all of your weight on your arms as your hips pick up their pace, thrusting yourself onto him as you chase your high.

“With me?”

He nods, and starts to buck his hips up into yours, meeting your gyrations. You fall over the cliff into ecstasy together; sweet quiet moans of each other's names as you watch each other's faces contort with the pleasure.

You tumble onto the sheets next to him, thighs aching and panting for breath. Cahir’s arms are immediately pulling you back in, against him. He kisses your hairline, your eyebrows, and just holds you there, allowing you to catch your breath on his chest and regain your bearings. He feels every breath in your lungs with his palm against your back. In, out, in, out. He feels every muscle in your body tense and relax under his touch, welcoming him in as embraces you, the way you think the kind knight might have embraced his wife, if they even existed in the first place. You sigh, face stretching into an easy smile, wishing this moment could just remain.

He will never get used to this, he thinks. No matter how many nights he gets to fall asleep by your side, no matter how many mornings he gets to wake up with you in his arms, he will never feel broken in. Not with you, and Cahir finds he doesn't want it to.

You let yourself be pulled in by Cahir, gladly molding yourself to his chest and lazily smiling at the feeling of his soft lips against your head. How strange it is, to feel love as a verb. To actively radiate it and push and mold it in your hands against another person. Perhaps that’s what the kind knight had in mind with his cursed wife. Your tired fingers flex against his sweaty chest. You want to get used to this. To have his touch feel like second nature, to fall into a routine of waking and falling asleep next to him. You want it all to feel like you’ve always had it, and you always will.

“I should marry you as soon as possible,” he mumbles into your hair, an admission of his desires as much as an admission of guilt. In his mind he’s thought of himself as yours forever since he learned your name. It’s been far too long— over three years— that he’s known you and hasn’t been officially yours. His hand runs along the flesh above your rib cage, smoothing out a muscle there. It’s not so much he wants you as a wife, he does, but it’s not his wish to possess you, more for you to possess him. He wants to be yours, and shout it from the peak of the highest mountain. He should have asked you sooner, in a more elegant way. Grand romantic gestures would embarrass you, but this seemed almost shameful to blurt out at this hour.

“We should get married.” He says it again, a fool for love. As much as he doesn’t think this is proper, he wants it to be known his intentions with you.

“Not yet,” you whisper, hoping you aren’t being careless with his heart. It isn’t that you don’t want to marry him. You do. You have since Brugge. Every fiber of your being wants to be his, only his, forever. While you sleep beside him you dream of doing it until you’re old and frail. You dream of retiring from a life of adventure happy to know your remaining family is safe, not in Vicovaro unless something drastic happens with the war, but somewhere nice. Somewhere warm where you can see the sun tan his skin and there can be a garden. But your gut is telling you destiny won’t let it happen just yet. Like if you marry him tomorrow like you so desperately want, everything will come crashing down. Marriage or celebration right now would be a harbinger of doom. You feel him stiffen beneath you.

“Not yet, you handsome thing, but soon. We have a cousin of mine to find. Once we confirm her safety, then we can be husband and wife. Maybe open up a shop to keep ourselves; become farmers together,” you sound pleading, wanting him to understand you without telling him of your gut feeling. You don’t want to scare him with your superstition.

“I can’t give you much,” he begins, but you lean up to silence him with a kiss.

“It’s not that, Cahir. You already gave me Ragnell. That’s more than a wife could ever want. Soon. Once we find Ciri.”

He understands now. Destiny and duty first. He nods, and kisses you back.

“Then I will belong to you,” he promises. You press one more kiss to his jaw, and then he pulls up the sheet around you and you settle in to sleep, tangled up in one another.

He falls asleep hoping you find Cirilla tomorrow so he can marry you the day after. He falls asleep with you soundly in his arms, holding him like you’ll never let go.

#my work #intended series #cahir x reader #cahir the witcher x reader

[jazzanddaydreams]

Evidence and reasons to ship Sophiana that literally no one asked for

Disclaimer: I myself am a multi-shipper, so I ship both Sophiana AND Dexiana (and sokeefe of course), but anyway here's my reasoning for Sophiana (no hate to the other ships). This is WAYYYYY overly long and my adhd brain is crying trying to proof-read it so fair warning

1. Representation in this series. Even though I know it probably won't happen with these two, I can still dream. 

2. Both Sophie and Biana are strong independent females who have been sucked (mainly unknowingly) into love triangles in the midst of whatever mess is going on with the Neverseen. 

3. In the beginning of the series, Biana seemed to hate Sophie, but after persuasion from Alden, became friends with Sophie. From there, the two of them have had a couple of rocky moments (Alden's memory break, where she didn't hate Sophie, she just wouldn't talk to her or anyone, which is less harmful of a reaction that Fitz's. Also when Stina reveals that Biana became friends with Sophie initially because of her dad) but overall have been growing into good friends. 

Now for my evidence (be forewarned there's a LOT, but still not all my evidence bc I mainly skimmed through my books I had on hand): 

Book 1: 

Fitz in the first book is shocked when Sophie says she thinks Biana hates her, stating that they're  pretty similar (first book, I don't remember the page number or exact quote). 

 Page 272, in general, when Sophie hands Biana her midterms present, and Biana asks if she's coming over for dinner. After that interaction, both Dex and Maruca (Biana's best friend at the time) are glaring at Sophie. Maruca's reaction can be explained by being best friends and feeling like she's losing Biana (though hmm....), but Dex's reaction is a bit harder to explain, thus my reasoning. Dex at this time has a major crush on Sophie, and yes he hates the Vackers, but that doesn't explain why he's mad at Sophie, unless he feels like he has competition from Biana for Sophie's affections, and is glaring to try and stop her from forgetting he's an option (oh boy my poor child). 

Also just through the rest of this book, when Sophie is having troubles or avoiding her, Biana is actually worried, and cares about her friend, not lashing out at her, just wondering if she's going to come over, and being obviously disappointed when Sophie declines her invitations. "She's right though. Red is definitely your color." 

Book 2: 

Page 567. "'Uh, I've always known that,' Dex said, sitting on her other side. 'But remember? I like weird.' 'Me too,' Biana chimed in." We know later that this statement from Dex was him literally saying that he liked Sophie, but the big thing about this is that Biana agrees immediately after. Before Fitz agrees. This could be read as just friends, but I read it otherwise. 

Book 3: Page 590. Biana is fighting Gisela on Mount Everest, in extreme conditions. Sophie looks at her and is like "Did you know Biana could fight like that?" like she's impressed, and I mean it's very impressive because she's taking down an adult in extreme conditions, but they're in the middle of a fight, and Sophie takes the time to notice and point out Biana's fighting skills. Which seems a little bit ship-y. Later on this page she is written as smiling at imagining Biana fighting Fitz and Keefe and smiling, and then screaming when Biana almost dies, along with Biana's former crush (Keefe) and her brother (Fitz). 

Page 511. Biana literally hides in Magnate Leto's office when Sophie was getting her ability restricting circlet (HIGHLY FORBIDDEN AND DANGEROUS) and watches in silent support. She breaks so many rules doing that, and then to top it off, on this page she says she doesn't "think I could've been that brave." Which is extremely sweet given the circumstances, and knowing just how much she risked going in with Sophie and yet calling Sophie the brave one, it's just very sweet. 

Book 4: 

(Oh boy I love this one there's so much fuel here.) 

 Page 9. "Dex pretended to gag, while Biana stared at Keefe's arm around Sophie." This is generally read as Biana being jealous of Sophie getting Keefe's attention, but it can also be read as Biana being jealous of Keefe being able to get that close to Sophie in that way (and that is how I am choosing to interpret it). 

I would also like to point out that Biana chooses to run away with Sophie to be with the Black Swan. She doesn't have to. She could stay in the Lost Cities and serve her minimal punishment, then get back to her life. But she chooses the dangerous option to BE WITH SOPHIE, which speaks a lot about these two and how their relationship has grown from mutual animosity to ride-or-die friendship. 

Page 31. "'But we're in costume!' Biana argued. 'Yeah, but you guys will stand out. I mean...look at you. You look like models.'" Sophie literally says Biana looks like a model (along with the boys of course, but she's including EVERYONE in her group) (plus she also comments in her head NUMEROUS times that Biana is gorgeous, or pretty, or looks like a princess, and I don't know about you but I don't go around thinking about how gorgeous all my friends look, I mean they're all amazing people but I don't go around thinking "oh wow [friend] looks like a fabulous princess with their on point makeup and effortless looking outfit." It's just a little bit indicative  that Sophie might like Biana as more than just a friend, hidden in the deep reaches of her oblivion at least). 

Also I would just like to point out that on page 38, when the group sees the statue of David, Keefe immediately reacts to it, and Sophie has no immediate gross out factor, she's just like yeah it's art and this dude is naked so what, which I find a bit telling but idk. 

Bonus: Biana finds the fact that the statue is naked a bit disgusting, and is terrified at the thought of running into it, which also seems a bit telling. 

Page 77. aka the page where Biana compliments Sophie's eyes and calls them "striking and unique." 

Page 167, 168, 169. THEY LITERALLY SLEEP IN THE SAME BED TOGETHER TO COMFORT EACH OTHER. BIANA WENT TO SOPHIE'S ROOM FIRST WHEN SHE COULDN'T SLEEP AND IS IN NEED OF COMFORT, EVEN THOUGH HER MOM IS literally within walking distance away. 

Page 168 "The soft sound of Biana's breathing made the room feel warmer"

Page 615 "...especially when she realized Biana was there too. She pulled her soggy hair forward to cover her face. 'It's cold here.' 'It is,' Biana agreed. Sophie couldn't tell if the strain in Biana's voice was exhaustion or something else." This is after Biana and Alvar interrupt Sophie and Keefe basically cuddling in the cold after almost dying. This could be interpreted as Biana being sad that Sophie seems to be choosing Keefe over her, and she's struggling to deal with that. 

*~*

After these moments, Biana kind of fades into the background, along with Dex, until around book 8 (and even then....yes I'm a bit bitter that my girl doesn't get page time), so I'm going to skip ahead. 

Book 8: 

page 135. "...next to her daughter wearing a peacock blue gown with shimmering gold beading that was almost as stunningly beautiful as she was." Reminding you of her constant appeal to Biana's appearance, and also this is after Biana has been MAJORLY scarred, yet Sophie still finds her beautiful and oh look I'm crying now (onto the next!) 

Page 256: "'You okay?' Biana asked, plopping down beside Sophie on the grass and reaching out to brush some of the fallen pinkish, purplish, bluish petals out of Sophie's hair." this kind of thing is generally reserved for Fitz or Keefe, so I was SHOCKED when I read this. She's pulling the 'brushing the person's hair out of their face' ploy and I'm so here for it. 

Also, just Biana's reactions to Sophie dating her brother are a bit odd, as if she is only reluctantly okay with them being together. 

Unlocked (8.5): 

Biana's file: page 76. "Ultimately, though, Biana and Sophie have grown to genuinely respect and admire each other, and are now well and truly friends." This is under the heading explaining that Biana has trouble making friends because of complications with her brother,  and then goes on to mainly explain Biana's friendship with Sophie, which just...points toward the slim possibility of Sophiana. 

I'm not holding out a lot of hope, because I know it's probably not going to become reality, but I do have my reasoning and a decent amount of evidence, and I still can enjoy my ship from afar as the ship wars rage on. Because with these two gals, we could: 

1. Have the possibility of a healthy relationship where neither party is afraid to tell the other something

2. both balance each other out personality-wise

3. they've also gone through some rough spots but in all have retained a steady friendship in which Sophie isn't afraid Biana will betray her or hate her for anything (unlike SOME boys (I'm sorry, I love Keefe it’s just his decisions haven’t been all that great lately)) 

So yeah, tl;dr Biana and Sophie have the possibility of being in a great relationship built on support and trust and I put way too much effort into this

(Part 1 bc I’ll have more evidence eventually)

#this got out of hand #oh well #I love my gay children #gay-otlc #I love that tag #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #shipping #Sophie Foster #Biana Vacker #sophie x biana #these two have quite a bit of shipping fuel ngl #sophiana #kotlc sophie #kotlc biana #kotlc sophiana #this is what I do with my life apparently

[jpegjade]

Confessions - Spencer Reid

frens and ferns, IM OUT OF SCHOOL FOR A MONTH. so here’s a new fic about something i’ve been struggling with lately...

summary: With emily gone, Spencer is having a hard time coping with her death. After a little prodding, he finds comfort in y/n, who is struggling with their own demons.

gender: neutral (i think. i tried not to point to any gender terms so hopefully i did okay at it bc i dont feel like proofreading.)

Warnings: talk of addiction but nothing more

———

Getting home from a case was always, hard on you. There were days when it was harder to get up in the morning because of the physical and emotional toll the job put on your body. Ever since that un-sub broke your ankle, everything has been even harder.

“Y/L/N, nice to see you back." Morgan said as you exited the elevator.

“You too, D." You said, plastering a fake smile on your face. In truth, you wished that you were off for one more week but the world wasn't that kind to you.

The doors to the elevator were slowly closing when you heard Spencer shuffling quickly toward your direction.

Before you had the chance to throw your arm in the way of the elevator sensors, Spencer's slender body slipped through.

You were a newer member to the team. Well... You were the only new member to the team. Being a replacement for agent Emily Prentiss, the team getting to know you was a process. Derek trained you so he already knew what you were like in action but this was the first case the rest of the team saw you on.

The silence in the elevator was loud and thick with anticipation. Spencer was looking over at you in quick glances when he wasn't staring at his converse.

“You didn't press a number." Spencer said, barely loud enough for you to hear.

"Oh... I guess that explains why if felt like I was going nowhere." You chuckled at your joke and winced when you met Dr. Reid's blank gaze.

"Do you..." He paused.

Spencer shook his head, clearing the thought from his mind. You continued staring but he dropped his gaze back to his shoes as if he hadn't started and dropped a question.

The elevator doors opened, showing an empty garage. The two of you gestured for the other to exit first but you ended up going first.

“Did you want to ask me something. Dr. Reid?" You said, watching him hesitate.

"Spencer." He said, ignoring the question. "My friends call me Spencer."

"I didn't think we were friends yet." You blankly. It wasn't meant to be funny but you couldn't help but smile.

“My team consists of my friends. As you are on my team, we're friends." Spencer's face never changed.

"Okay, Spencer." You looked at him. If you weren't so worried about getting home, you would've indulged in the moment. But all you wanted to do right now was be alone with some pizza and take the edge off from today.

"If that's all..." You tried to close the interaction with him by taking a few steps back but Spencer took just as many slow steps forward.

"Actually," Spencer began, "how do you do it?"

You faked a chuckle. "Do what?"

“Hide your addiction so well." Spencer was so pointblank sometimes.

"What are you talking about?" You tried to control the beads of sweat that threatened to pool.

"Everybody knows.” It's your ankle that started the painkillers and you couldn't stop. It took you away from the pain, the humiliation.

“How could you be so stupid as to get caught? You're even dumber for finding solice in the feeling when you've got all of this support around you? You've got a family who..." Spencer trailed off.

Your head was still reeling from the beginning of his statement. Everyone knew... But how could that be? It wasn't obvious but something was off about the distant look in Spencer's eyes. It was like he wasn't looking or talking to you. The anger laced in his tone wasn't for you...

“Spencer," you took a step towards him, "Are you talking about you?" Spencer stopped talking. You weren't used to seeing him so quiet.

"It's been a while." Spencer looked down at his converse. "Emily was there. When it got bad, I would cuddle up with her cat on her couch and try to forget the thoughts. She wouldn't make me feel like a burden at 2 a.m., when I was screaming myself awake. She always told me to stay as long as I needed, even when I was positive she was fed up with me. I wish I believed her. I wish I stayed." Spencer tapered off into silence, sniffling.

A pipe dripping. Footsteps in the stairwell. A car alarm chirping. All of those things sounded louder than they normally would. This wasn't Spencer cornering you. This was a confused and hurting boy that was begging for help. He just didn't know how to say what he needed right now.

“Do you..." You started but stopped because it didn't feel right.

Where do you start with someone who is just like you: broken, hurting, and alone.

How do you comfort someone without enabling them to do something destructive that might make everything worse?

How do you avoid hurting someone when all you wanted to do was hurt yourself, in a way.

"Do you like pancakes?" You asked, startling him out of his thoughts. "Pancakes? Sure." Spencer slowly lifted his head and shrugged.

You started walking to your car, motioning for Spencer to follow.

The car ride with Spencer was filled with silence. The whole time, you were thinking about ways to explain the situation to Spencer without making it worse. Spencer was trying to decide if talking to you was a good idea after all, considering you were taking him somewhere pancake related.

Pulling up to the run-down diner, you looked over at Spencer, who was staring out the window.

"I promise the pancakes are better than the place looks." You chuckled, getting Spencer's attention.

"I wasn't really worried about the taste of the pancakes..." Spencer trailed off.

"Good, I guess." You said, a little bit defeated.

You and Spencer walked into the diner, where you were greeted by a friendly older woman named Janice. She knew your name by heart, since you were a regular, and she seated you at your normal booth.

"Actually, would you mind seating us at 12? This is Spencer, the guy I've told you about..." You blushed, hoping you said everything low enough for Spencer not to notice. His mind was elsewhere so he wasn't listening as he normally would. A part of you was grateful for that.

Janice did a once-over at Spencer, softly grinning, and brought you to table 12.

Despite the outside looking dingy, the inside of the diner was cleaner than Spencer thought it would be. He wasn't really fond of booths but these weren't the pillow seat booths where children could hide things between the bottom seat and the backrest. This was the plastic seats that hurt your butt after a little while. But what he noticed that was different about the seating at the table was that one half was a booth and the other half consisted of two four-legged chairs.

"I know you don't like the germs in booth seats so I figured this would be a better option." You said, unable to meet his eyes.

Spencer was shocked as you slid into the booth seat, avoiding his eyes. Spencer pulled out his chair, temporarily distracted by the fact that he never mentioned how much he hates booth seats. You paid attention and noticed that about him. What else had you noticed?

"So..." Spencer folded his hands in his lap nervously.

"Let's order and then we'll talk." You said, trying to focus on the task at hand.

Placing your orders, you went with your usual breakfast at midnight and he just ordered the same thing you ordered.

"It'll be good, I promise." You said, giving him a small smile.

"You never answered my question." Spencer said, looking up at you.

"I know." You were getting nervous again. The nerves hadn't stopped since Spencer asked that question in the parking lot but you were trying really hard to find an answer to it.

"How do you do it?" Spencer asked again.

"Spencer, it's not that simple. I can't give you an answer like that over something so complex. Why do you want to know?" You asked, trying to focus on meeting his eyes.

Spencer's gaze was intense when he wanted it to be so you settled for staring at the tip of his nose.

"I'm struggling, y/n. Emily was... She was family to me. If Hotch is the dad, Rossi is the cool uncle, JJ is the mom, Derek is the older brother, and Emily is..." Spencer's voice caught in his throat. "Was the big sister. I lost a sister the day she died and I'm lost without her."

"Spencer, I'm so sorry..." You said, wanting to hug him.

A tear slipped down Spencer's face as you watched him frustratedly wipe it away.

"It's not fair, you know?" Spencer continued. "I survived the worst days of my life. I got to live after experiencing torture and she didn't do anything but fall in love with someone who wasn't..."

There was a moment of silence as you let Spencer get his feelings out. While the two of you said nothing, Janice brought your food and drinks to your table. She must have sensed the tension between you and Spencer because once you thanked her, she didn't hover or make additional conversation.

"It just hurts and I don't... I don't want to feel it. I just want to escape the constant pain and be happy again, just for a little while. It doesn't have to stay forever but I don't want this pain to hurt like this for now." Spencer cut into his pancakes, taking a bite. His face changed into something of contentment.

"I come here when I have a... I guess you could say craving." You started, "Carbs and sugar are good for the itching feeling you get when you really need a fix."

A moment passed as the two of you enjoyed the food in front of you. After downing half of your food, you decided to speak again.

"What's your drug of choice, if you don't mind me asking?" You quietly said, your eyes staying trained on the way your butterknife slowly cut into your pancakes.

"Dilaudid." Spencer was so upfront about it. You thought you would have to pull it out of him but he made your job easier.

"Ah... Opioids are a bitch to kick. Controlled substance so I won't ask how you got it but I understand it's not easy. There was this study we had to do in training. This one agent got captured and tortured and the BAU had to watch as he was drugged, tortured, and almost died... I guess you would know them, right?" You asked, trying to figure out which team member it was.

"That was me." Again, Spencer being upfront.

"Oh...Spencer, I'm so sorry... I didn't know." You were remorseful, you shouldn't have brought it up.

"That's where it began. I begged for him not to do it the first time, not wanting the drugs. But after that? After the torture and pain and... Everything? I craved that release. And even after he died, I just wanted to get away from all of the stress in life. Feel warmth in my veins, mentally zoning out for just long enough to reset my mind and be reminded that there was something good in the world..." Spencer looked over your shoulder but his eyes weren't fixed on a particular spot.

That's the thing about being an addict... You don't realize how much it hurts to be alive until the high sends you crashing back down. And, especially in our line of work, all you want is to stay up for as long as possible because the horrors of reality will tear you apart..." You finished.

Spencer's attention came back to you as you spoke, making you a little uncomfortable. You couldn't meet his eyes.

"I went to a couple meetings in the past." Spencer said, thinking about his experiences there. "I didn't feel like I belonged. I have a good life. Stable job. I'm fortunate enough to have a roof over my head. My mom is taken care of by capable people. I don't have to worry about anything. And the guys there? They're struggling in many cases. They're fighting for the things I take for granted and I didn't know how I could stand to be in the same room with my privileges and pretend like my problem was important..." Spencer trailed off.

"Spencer, your addiction is valid." You were finally able to look him in the eyes and emphasize your point.

"Is it, though?" Spencer stared back at you, a challenging tone laced his voice.

"It's not fun..." You started, unable to look at Spencer any longer. "I don't do it for fun or because I want to stay high. I don't do it for the feeling it gives me. I do it because I feel like I have to."

"What do you mean?" Spencer tilted his head like a puppy who was trying to understand a new word.

"After I broke my ankle, I was prescribed these... Off brand pills. They didn't really help unless I snorted them. And even then, they didn't help my ankle or me. So I found something stronger. A friend of mine is a doctor and when I go to see him, I'm able to... I guess manipulate him into giving me the good stuff, the stuff that makes my thoughts slow down, calms the voice, gives me a sense of peace and not this constant anxiety." You said, hands tapping the table.

"Oh..." Spencer said, taking in what you were saying.

"I'm an addict not for pleasure but for pain. And my struggle is no greater or lesser than yours." You said, fingers still tapping away. "I struggle, like you, except the difference is I'm newer to the team so they don't know what it's like to see me in my chaotic neutral state. What did you do when you had cravings before? You must have been clean for a couple years now, right?"

"I went to Emily... I always went to Emily. I play back these moments when I snapped at her for wanting to help and I wish I just..." Once again, Spencer's voice was caught in his throat.

"She was your safe space when you felt like you couldn't turn to anyone else." You said, understanding. "You don't have to be romantically inclined to have a safe space with someone. It's whomever you find solace in, for any reason under and over the sun."

"I wouldn't feel this way if she were here..." Spencer said, more to himself as if he were trying to be convincing.

"Spencer, you have to be honest with yourself. If it wasn't this, it would be something else. And that something else might not have landed you with someone who was willing to assist you in your recovery to stay clean." You said, finishing your pancakes.

"What?" Spencer did a double take. No one had ever offered to help him. He always had to be the first to make the move but even then, everyone was reluctant to take on the responsibility of Spencer.

"Isn't there an unspoken rule about addicts not being with each other?" Spencer asked, genuinely concerned.

He hoped not because he would love to have someone he could finally confide in, someone who wouldn't make him feel like a burden.

"No, that's about addicts not dating each other. But I think that as friends, we can understand each other in ways others cant. We can fight together. Have you notiiced the craving is gone, for the most part?" You asked, sure that Spencers single slice would be gone in a moment.

"Okay. Deal. We can confide in one another and maybe it'll help us get a grip on reality when we feel ourselves slipping.”

“Okay.”

—

taglist: @goldentournesol @averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff

[heathneycanon]

reasons why phobia factor fucking slaps

ok this lowkey just turned into me rambling abt phobia factor while i rewatched it. putting it under a read more bc it’s super long lmao

like, the entire first five minutes are the campers being friendly to each other?? and vulnerable, to a degree??? you know i love that shit

courtney and trent?? talk to each other?? like. okay they’re never in the same frame together unfortunately, but they do have like, two whole back and forth conversations.

also in that campfire scene at the beginning, cody and trent are sitting next to each other and there are some. good screencaps

“exSQUEEZE me?!” like cody. ur such a dork omfg

duncan vulnerability hours

lindsay asks what a standee is and trent explains it and doesn’t mock her/isn’t annoyed with her at all, in contrast to a lot of the other campers interacting with lindsay. i love them as friends SO much u all have no idea

harold’s little scene with the ninjas. i love him sm. why does he have nunchucks with him when he goes to the bathroom??

leshawna is afraid of spiders and she runs away screaming from. chef wearing a spider suit??? like i don’t love spiders but if a man i knew wearing a spider costume was calmly walking toward me i wouldn’t react the same way as i would to a real spider. anyway i think this is hilarious.

season one heather vulnerability hours.....

i mean, i really wish they’d actually shown her talking abt her fear at the campfire, rather than just having it told by gwen in the confessional, but i get why they did that. regardless that one scene right before the sumo wrestler charges at her where she’s literally shaking.... i want to give her a hug

side note i hope the sumo wrestler is okay he hit his head quite a few times

ok so. trent accidentally leaving gwen buried underground because he’s getting chased by a mime isn’t like. a sweet gwent moment. but it is one of their interactions that i remember most vividly from tdi lmfao

what is a cute gwent moment is trent like. kneeling next to her while chris is burying her. and the face he makes at chris when he jokes abt not digging her up..... i love them sm

also gwen sounds so fucking dramatic when they close the box she’s in like. “goodbye cruel world” gwen ur being buried for 5 minutes ur not dying sdfjlafskj i love her

duncan hyping dj up before he picks up the snake is so cute?? like he’s clapping for him and he’s got what i call “adorable duncan face” which is where his eyes are full circles and he’s smiling. i can remember him making this face at courtney, dj, and alejandro throughout the series and it’s just. ugh loving soft duncan hours

“ah! it blinked” “it means she likes you” sadie where are u getting this information

okay so i googled if this was true and the result i got was “snakes can’t blink” so first of all i have no clue where sadie pulled that fact from and i have even less of an idea of where chris got that fucking. blinking snake from. is that even a snake??

when dj picks up the snake and they all hype him up?????? i love the killer bass so much it’s unreal

more cute gwent moments... gwen and trent talking on the walkie talkies.. they’re so cute

when the mime pops up behind trent and he does that little scream.... it’s loving trent hours u guys

trent is so bothered by a mime literally just. being a mime. me too trent. me too.

duncan and the celine dion music store standee.... everything abt that scene

"DUDE SHE’S MADE OF CARDBOARD” tyler i love you

courtney genuinely saying that it’s okay if he can’t do it (when she was being harsh to dj about the snake earlier..... duncney is so good in tdi u guys)

and then theY HOLD HANDS GUYSSSS IM SOFT FOR THEM

and THAT is what gives duncan the encouragement he needs to go for it?? they’re so good.

his “okay, okay” right before going for it... duncan’s voice acting is so good in this episode omfg

THE MUSIC THAT PLAYS WHEN HE HUGS THE STANDEE AND THEN EVERYONE CHEERING ITS SUCH A GOOD SCENE

THE DUNCNEY HUG

“duncan, you’re awesome!” and the look of shock on his face at both the fact that he did it and that courtney’s hugging him...... have i mentioned i love duncney yet?? bc i do

i can’t believe i used to dislike duncney omfg

then when courtney realizes that she’s hugging him and steps back jafksdfjlsa she’s so cute

and then the rest of the bass come over and hype duncan up more like. i love how supportive they all are in this episode!!

trent is so excited when he finally gets the mime to leave him alone fakjldjfl like he didn’t have to ROAST the dude. but he did.

chris somehow owns a remote control hail cloud?

lindsay getting excited about the “baby cloud” and calling it over?? she’s so cute omfg

trent fucking. hates geoff. gwent has geoffphobia in tdi ig

when they dig up gwen and she throws the walkie talkie at his head but he doesn’t stop smiling..... your honor i love them

owen and izzy getting out of the plane and kissing the ground together..... adorable.

cody with a fucking. watermelon on his head and covered in trash scares bridgette out of the woods. that will never not be funny to me

THAT ONE FUCKING SCENE. WHERE SADIE AND LINDSAY HYPE EACH OTHER UP. THAT MAY BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I LOVE THEM SM

the only bad thing abt this ep- tyler should have gotten the fucking point. he completed the challenge. i love courtney, but realistically, she should have gone home this ep and tyler should have stayed.

bridgette hyping tyler up...... im soft they should be friends

“quit being such a girl” courtney im sorry but the only reason you’re still in the game rn is because ezekiel made sexist comments in episode one. what are u saying lmfao

tyler and heather’s reactions to their fears rly make me think. bc like. most of the other campers have a more outward, loud reaction, maybe scream and run away. a couple are just a little wigged out. gwen gets a little snippy and is clearly super freaked out as well. but tyler and heather just. completely shut down. like, curled up in a ball, nonverbal, and shaking. makes u think.

why did cody need a calculator to figure out that the score was 7/3....... cody is canon lgbt+ bc he can’t do basic math without a calculator confirmed

also regardless of how little sense that made. at least that screencap gave us commie cody

when gwen starts trying to psych courtney out and heather like. gasps and looks shocked..... i like to think that heather feels a little bad for courtney here. heathney real.

duncan and bridgette hyping courtney up..... i love the killer bass so much omfg

courtney looks so sad when she walks away from the jelly.......

and then in the confessional right after?? she’s like. crying a little bit :( and she’s beating herself up abt it like..... :( courtney no

LITERALLY she’s like “how could i be so weak” “i deserve to go home” “you’re pathetic” (to herself) and then tells herself to show some confidence and then. she just starts crying again. and then slaps herself?? GOD I FUCKING LOVE COURTNEY SHE’S SO HARD ON HERSELF

owen just. hangin out in the tub of jelly. i love u, u wild dude. fuckin sit in that green jelly. loving owen hours

the little look that courtney and tyler give each other when they’re the last two without marshmallows..... half solidarity half “i don’t want to be the one going home”. i love them sm :(

i KNOW i said this earlier but. tyler should NOT have gone home this episode!!!!!! only bad thing abt this ep

all the fuckin chicken puns are a little bit funny tho

“he won’t be flying high tonight” bridgette chickens can’t fly

when courtney goes “okay, that’s enough” like. tyler’s not even there at this point but she’s defending him. maybe it’s because she still feels she should have gone home instead? maybe it’s because of that little bit of solidarity she felt for him when they were the final two without a marshmallow? maybe i’m reading too much into this? but idk. i think it’s sweet

okay no i have another complaint. what the fuck was the whole boat ride for tyler?? like when sadie gets eliminated the surprise she gets is that katie is on the boat. when tyler is on the boat, CRYING, after literally none of his teammates came to see him off, after he LITERALLY COMPLETED THE CHALLENGE BUT DIDN’T GET CREDIT FOR IT. the fucking. CHICKENS POP OUT?????? tyler deserved better

also some of the challenges were a lot easier, or at the very least, harder to fail than others this ep. i love it but come on. lindsay and sadie vs like. gwen vs owen and izzy vs dj. there were very different time limits, actual fright level, ability to back out once they were doing the challenge.... not a fair challenge

also uhm. if we’re being technical tyler and heather had the exact same reaction to their fears, so why did heather get a point and tyler didn’t? if the chicken had run at him, would he have won? smh

i do love this episode so much but. i had a couple complaints

okay finally lindsay’s little confessional to tyler where she blows him a kiss.... they’re so adorable lyler rights!!

#total drama #long post #phobia factor #confessional #duncney #gwent #lyler #courtney #duncan #trent #heather #gwen #tyler #leshawna #geoff #dj #bridgette #sadie #owen #izzy #cody #trody #heathney #harold #god i fucking love this ep

[newhologram]

I've been doing some thinking and realizing just how far back this all goes. Those of you who know me and my family IRL may have a hard time believing the emotional abuse and gaslighting because whenever you've met them, they seemed fine. They may have even bragged about me to you which made you think that they thought very highly of me. They also may have neglected to inform you that I have been disabled by chronic illness the past 10 years (many of my other family members had no idea until they spoke to me personally. It's... really fucking weird? To just not tell anyone that your offspring is in bed all day in horrible pain and constantly at the doctor/ER?). Unfortunately this is also part of the gaslighting, putting on a persona of parental perfection so that no one believes me when I try to talk about it. Instead people, even within my family, make excuses for the abuse and say that I should just be grateful. Behind closed doors it's always been very different. In the event that me processing this in private spaces gets out to them (which WILL endanger me): This isn't about *~exposing~* or *~revenge~* or *~punishment~*, it's about putting the pieces together and saying, yeah, I'm right to finally put my foot down about the way I have been treated. This is my experience. This is my trauma. I'm finally claiming that after a lifetime of being told that these experiences and my pain around them are apparently "not real" (gaslighting). By talking about this, I am not victimizing myself, but empowering myself. Because none of this treatment was ever my fault. None of it was ever deserved. And none of this is to be blamed on my "response" to abuse. I hope that by talking about this I can paint a picture of the dynamic and inspire investigation into the health of your own family dynamics too. "But they're family" is literally what enables this kind of abuse to continue. And I'm done. My health and survival is more important than upholding a toxic family system. They're learning that the hard way, finally. I don't think my family members are bad people. I truly do love and care for them. They have some amazing qualities. They love animals and they've come a long way to now being LGBTQ+ allies even if they don't always use the right words. But they have a lot of flaws that most likely come from their own trauma... But these aren't just self-contained flaws. Because I am the one who will be undoing the damage for the rest of my life. I don't know if they will ever go to therapy themselves, but I certainly won't be waiting around for them to work on themselves if it means I'm going to continue to be mistreated and re-traumatized. - It's always been this way but things definitely got worse in my home when I became disabled (possibly bc it triggered insecurities in them?). Both parents ignored me to my face all my life. I'd say or ask something, and there'd be no response most of the time. If I said, "hey, I'm talking to you, that's rude" they would blow up at me about "WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY. I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND OKAY I HAVE MY OWN LIFE". This happened even when I was a literal child. I grew up believing that nothing I had to say was worth hearing and that if they ignored me that it was because I was unimportant and annoying. But if I ignore them or take too long to respond because I'm thinking, they scold me me about being rude, that they are my parents and I need to respect them. My emotions and pain have been invalidated since I was a child too. I would get picked up from afterschool care, or my bully's house, and of course I'd be crying from enduring a day of bullying. I would say, "I didn't do anything to them, it's not fair." And my dad's response was always, "WELL GUESS WHAT LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE AN ADULT IN THE REAL WORLD." He has continued to say this to me on a regular basis whenever I am struggling, either with work, friends, relationships, a death, or my chronic illnesses. I wonder why he has never considered my world to be real? Why is my reality not real to him? What

makes that even more painful is that I was still sent day after day to the school where I was bullied, to afterschool care with my bullies, and to my bullies' homes. No matter how much I was always crying when they picked me up, they just kept sending me back. And then a few of my dad's girlfriend's had children who bullied me too. I literally could never escape it. If it wasn't that, his response to me crying about something would be, "YOU HAVE NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT. YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE OF LUXURY HERE, YOU DON'T PAY RENT! JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE OUT THERE HAVING REAL PROBLEMS!" Again, he said this to me when I was a 24 year old who was suddenly in the span of a year so disabled that I could barely work. I was scared for my future, because I had taken the time to educate myself about my illnesses, and I knew that things were going to be hard for me. What I needed was support, not "tough love" and emotional invalidation. I was also scared of the situation I am in now. I was scared that I was going to be too sick to afford to move out and that by age 30 I would still be stuck at home with a parent who did not see my reality, my pain, as real. I am living that and it's not fun. Whenever I tried to talk to him about this invalidation, it just turned into a fight, because he refuses to admit the things that he said, and says things like "That's a You Problem" which he has said since I was a child in response to him hurting my feelings. I have always thought it was worth the effort to communicate to my loved ones this sort of issue, because that's what I was taught at school. If there's an issue, you talk about it. But my family doesn't believe that I guess. - When I first got sick, I was throwing up a lot. It had built up over several years since I was 19 but then after I was officially diagnosed with my Big 4 (colitis/fibro/ME/narcolepsy) I started having really dangerous vomiting attacks. The first attack I had lasted 6 days. I lost 12lbs. I overheard my dad complaining on the phone to a friend that I was keeping him up all night throwing up. I felt so bad for bothering him, I had learned to value his comfort over mine. But after the third day of nonstop vomiting, I told my dad I needed to go to the ER, that something was wrong. He sighed and rolled his eyes and said I didn't need to go. He was so annoyed with me for being sick. I was completely pale. I hadn't eaten anything. I could barely keep water down. I argued but he wouldn't listen. I went back to throwing up, at this point just dry-heaving. A while later I said, "I'm taking myself to the ER." I grabbed my car keys and my dad stopped me. He said, "That's ridiculous, you aren't driving yourself to the ER, I'll do it." But he still wouldn't take me for some reason. I don't know if he just didn't want to pay the copay or what. But I was literally trapped. I tried to fight it and said, "If you're going to take me, then take me. If not, let me take myself." I kept throwing up for three more days before he finally agreed to take me. The ER was packed so I ended up going to urgent care, where the nurse scolded me. She said I really should've gone to the ER after the third day of vomiting. She said that if I had gone a 7th day I could have collapsed. I didn't know how to tell her that I had tried. She asked where my family was and I said my dad had to go to work so he had just dropped me off. She had tears in her eyes and she held my hand. She said, "he should be here with you." THAT is how sick I was. That year, I went to the ER three more times. Each time I would be sobbing and ashamed of myself just for bothering my dad and for him having to pay the copay since I was too sick to earn the money myself. Again, that's how little I had learned to value myself and my health. By my birthday that year, I was suicidal from this shame. A few months later, in the new year, I started having vomiting attacks again. My dad stood over me while I was hunched over the toilet gagging and he said something I will never be able to forget, "You need to snap out of it

because I can't go through this again." He was the victim of my illness. He was the victim of my pain. This year was when my dad told me that he and his gf had been "talking" and that they had decided it was "time for me to be independent". He said they'd even help me find an apartment. I cried and said, "Dad, I'm sick. I've been so sick the past year. How am I supposed to afford even splitting rent with a roommate when I'm in bed in a neckbrace all day long?" and his response was, "But your dad needs his bachelor pad." I couldn't even identify what I was feeling. I was so shocked. Did he really think having the apartment to himself so he could have girls over was more important? But he was always telling me that I was the most important person in his life. I was so confused.

He gave me a time frame to move out and I was terrified. I thought my life was over. But most of all, I thought, "it's not fair to my dad that I'm sick." I thought so little of myself and my pain because that is what I learned as a kid. I blamed myself for not being "strong enough" to power through these debilitating illnesses. I blamed myself for my dad's money troubles. I literally could not live with myself knowing that my dad had to support me. I was so ashamed that I learned to vomit quietly so that he wouldn't notice. I was in a constant state of suicidality for several years after this. And it's no wonder, because year after year my dad has barged into my room to harass me about "it's time to be a Real Adult! It's time for you to Contribute to the household! You need to Make Money! I'm HEMORRHAGING money supporting you! I'm having to use my savings!" and because I was too sick to do this, I felt like a complete failure who did not deserve to live. I was self-harming constantly because I hated myself for "doing this" to my father. He had convinced me that I was the villain. I would start freaking out about money, forcing myself to work even if it meant vomiting literally on set (and almost being sent home bc of it, but I insisted I was fine to work). But I still couldn't make enough to afford my medical expenses. So I would shame-spiral and be suicidal again and then suddenly the story would change. My dad did a complete 180 and said, "Why are you even worried about money? We're doing fine. Even if I didn't have to support you, it wouldn't make that big of a difference in the money that I spend on this household. Don't worry about it." And then as soon as bills were due, he was back to telling me that I needed to make money. Back to saying we spent too much money on food despite me not eating that much. Back to refusing to try shopping somewhere cheaper when I suggested ways to save money. When I brought this up to my therapist back then, she said, "He's giving you mixed messages. Maybe you should bring this up to him so he realizes he's doing it." But when I did bring it up, of course my dad denied doing this and called me ungrateful even as I worked two jobs. When I eventually got a third job (fucking up my health more) to pay off my medical debt, my dad patted my back and told me how proud he was. When I told my therapist that he denied it, she suggested I bring him in so she could help us communicate. When I asked him to come with me to therapy, he got angry and said, "I am NOT going to therapy with you, that is ridiculous." But even with those 3 jobs it still wasn't enough and I was constantly being pulled between "YOU HAVE TO MAKE MONEY RIGHT NOW END OF THE WORLD" and "uhh why are you even worried about money, you need to work your mindset..." When bugged about money I would ask, "What else do you want me to do? I'm working 3 jobs. I'm not hiding money from you. I'm sending you everything that is leftover after I pay my own bills. I've even been buying a lot of my own food, I've been living off ramen and cans of ravioli." And he never had an answer except "just make more money." -- Now to the dynamic I'm currently living in. My dad moved his gf and her dog in without talking to me about it to see if it was going to impact my health. She was only supposed to stay here for maybe 4-5 days while she figured out a new home situation. But when I asked my dad about it in the days leading up to her arrival, suddenly the answer was "oh, she's staying indefinitely." I had no say in it. But we had a talk about what I needed to make this work. I said to my dad that the most important thing was that I have some scheduled quiet time. If I'm recording content or editing audio, I'm going to need quiet that morning so I can get my work done. If I'm resting, I need there to not be shouting or slamming doors happening in the house. He assured me that this was fine and that it'd all be easy for the three of us. The first weekend she was moved in, I let my dad know that I was editing audio that morning and needed

some quiet. He was cheerful and said, "No problem!" I thought wow, this is different. This is nice! This is going to be great for my productivity and health. As soon as I started editing, his gf was blasting music in the kitchen (right next to my room) and they were both laughing and talking loudly just a few steps away from my door. I thought, okay, we talked about this. But I'll just power through. When I was done, I went to my dad and said in a calm manner, "Hey, so this morning I let you know ahead of time that I was editing audio but there was still a ton of music and stuff in the kitchen, so it made it take a lot longer for me." His eyes immediately went dark. He put on an angry parent voice and said, "Okay, I am about to pop. I have enough going on without worrying about making too much noise for you." I said, calmly still, "We talked about this, though, and you assured me it wasn't a problem that I needed this quiet time for editing. So I'm not sure what to do. I'm just letting you know that there was still loud music right next to my room even though we had talked about it." He responded, "Then you need to be more specific because I don't know what you're doing in there." I corrected, "But I told you this morning that I was going to be editing audio and you said it was no problem to have some quiet in the kitchen while I did so." He got more aggressive, "No, you need to be more specific." Again, "I was specific. I told you the time frame that I was going to be editing audio in. You said you understood. I don't know what else to do to fix this other than by openly communicating to you about it." I started crying because--I mean, uhh?? This is gaslighting. I couldn't believe that mere hours after I had specifically told my dad that I was editing audio and that he had assured me it was no problem to have some quiet, that he was accusing me of not telling him what I needed, and that he had not agreed to it or something. Like wtf. He got nastier and blamed me for his stress. But me crying triggered his guilt so he tried to soothe himself by hugging me like he does and I pulled away. I tried to emphasize to him that I'm not just making content for fun. I'm literally trying to make money and contribute to the household like he has told me I need to do for the past 8 years. And when he disrupts my editing process, it just makes it take longer, and it makes it harder for me to earn extra money. His gf was also super rude to me when I tried to be friendly and have a conversation with her. I was telling her about how great it felt to have my sister initiate a conversation about my gender identity and she interrupted me (like she does constantly) to say, "YOU KNOW YOUR SISTER DOESN'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT, RIGHT?" (wtf...) After this, I didn't speak to them for three days. I was feeling the urge to self-harm that whole weekend and all I could do was stay in bed crying after that. I knew if I spoke to them I would just get triggered so I was protecting myself. My dad felt guilty and tried to talk to me in my room. I tried to explain how triggering this whole situation is for me and he said he would do anything to make it easier for me. I had told him what I needed but that he had gaslighted me about it. - This next and last part is going to illustrate the priorities in this household. A few years ago, I started having problems with hives. I spent almost a whole year having very painful breakouts all over my body. It kept me up all night and caused me so much discomfort during the day. I kept telling my dad about it (no response, or annoyed responses), I went to the doctor several times about it (useless ointments), and suffered month after month. I tried so many things, I thought maybe it was bugs, spiders, etc. My asthma was also acting up and I remembered that an ex-neighbor had been suspicious of mold because of their health issues getting better the second they moved out. They had told me back then that we should test for mold. I brought it up to my dad that I had been suffering from this for

long enough and that we should do something about it (mold also makes fibromyalgia and ME way worse). He angrily snapped, "What do you want me to do about it?" I suggested we ask the landlord to mold test the apartment. He refused bc he doesn't like to bother the landlord. I said that I would just order a mold kit myself and he said, "No, let me do it, I'll pick the right one." But he wouldn't even after I kept reminding him. Even after I sent him links to mold kits that we could order. After I got rid of my mattress, my hives got a lot better but I still have issues every now and then. For years I have just lived with this because I couldn't get him to even care about the fact that I was spotted with these big pink hives. When his gf moved in, we had a random rainy day, which seems to have activated the mold. His gf got one tiny little hive and the sniffles. She said to him once, "Hey, I think you have mold in this house." Want to guess what happened after that? You're right. He immediately ordered several mold test kits. I said to my therapist, "How am I supposed to feel about that? Is it really unreasonable, am I really in the wrong to feel hurt by that?" My therapist said, "I mean, I would feel completely invalidated and like I didn't matter." This isn't the first time empathy has been withheld from me obviously (above examples during my flare ups), but sometimes even when it's right in front of him he just can't bring himself to care for some reason. One time a big piece of glass was in my thumb. I said, "Ahhh, glass, help! Glass!" He was eating snacks in the kitchen and just glanced at me, didn't move or say anything. I realized he wasn't going to help, so shaking and bleeding, I managed to pull the glass out with tweezers very painfully. It bled so much and I stood over the sink trying to stop it. My dad just kept eating his snacks, not asking if I was okay or anything, he didn't even look at me. After 5 minutes I still couldn't get the blood to stop and asked my dad if he could help, maybe get me some gauze. He put food in his mouth and sighed, "Just put pressure on it" and walked away. It feels like he's just disgusted with me. I know that he does love me and that he's trying the best he can with all of his mental/emotional/personality flaws but he thinks that just because he puts a roof over my head that he can treat me however he wants and not work on his issues, that it's my fault for being hurt. He thinks that his issues are all on me to learn to endure and it's not right. I know that he resents me for getting in the way of him having a relationship because that's the only message I have gotten since childhood, with every woman he's brought into my home. But in the end his relationships always fall apart because the woman ends up realizing, and stating to him, that he is "emotionally absent". And every time, I comfort my dad through the break up. When he has tried to blame his ex I said once to him that therapy can really help him with his emotional issues and relationships. But he refuses, so. That's on him. But I refuse to believe that I am in the wrong here for saying enough is enough. But he's going to keep trying to make me believe that the problem is just me and my feelings, not his behavior. Nope. Boundary is up. I just have to keep to myself and do what I need to do to stay safe until I can move out. Because I guarantee you he's going to realize he doesn't get enough validation from his gf and then come running back to me as always and then be angry that I'm still holding my boundary strong. I know that this will hurt less as I get distance from it, but I don't like the idea of my pain being my fault when I grew up with this toxic stuff. I'm working so hard to make it hurt less but I can't heal if it keeps happening, so all I can do is back away from what is hurting me instead of being surprised when I'm hurt again. THAT is on me 100%. Hopefully he doesn't grab my desk and slam it against the wall again like in 2014 when I first tried to set this boundary. And of course when he

"apologized" he accused me of "punishing him" by not spending time with him. Jee-zus, dude. Get therapy. I can't be the only one in this family bearing this weight and working on my shit.

#teku #personal #do nut re bagel

[book-of-charlie]

Zukka Goes to a Ball

Hi, this was supposed to be a fluffy oneshot, but then i wrote out the bullet points, and if I write it later I will add a link to it here but for now it’s gonna be a bullet point fic lads, enjoy

(also I wrote this at like 2 am so I’m sorry for the inevitable spelling mistakes and slight rambling)

~~

AU where Iroh took the throne after Lu Ten died, Ozai was cast out for disrespecting Azulon, Zuko and Azula and Ursa had the option to stay and so they did and Zuko and Azula (especially) are better for it, and so Iroh did all the good shit, opening up trade routes and rebuilding the nations and removing the laws that outlawed homosexuality

Aang is still found when Katara and Sokka are out fishing, but the village is being rebuilt, the men are home, and with the Northern Water Tribe’s help, the two tribes have pooled their resources and customs together to preserve the customs they have/had, but also listened to people like Yue, Sokka, and Katara to see what should be done/changed to help make the future better

The customs mean that Sokka and Katara now have the labels of Prince and Princess of the Southern Water Tribe, just like Yue 

But the customs of arranged marriage and waterbending teachings are looser, so Katara is taught by Pakku, who marries their grandmother and they grow up with him as a grandfather

Kya is still dead, the last raid happened right before Iroh took the throne

Aang and Katara spent some time together, fell in love, have been together ever since

Yue and Sokka were engaged (and in love), until the moon thing happened; it happened bc Zhao was a follower of Ozai, and Ozai has gained a group of supporters who prefer Sozin’s, Azulon’s, and Ozai’s ways to that of Iroh’s - and Zhao snuck into the Northern Water Tribe and killed the fish, and Yue gave her life to save it

Sokka is devastated, and the Water Tribes are ready for war, but still hope for peace after so much devastation

Iroh, Hakoda, and Arnook meet to try and solve these things without war, and Iroh explains what happened in the past with Azulon and Ozai, and why the Northern Water Tribe was attacked

The three leaders decide that an all nations ball should be held, and that a union between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes would be the best way to smooth things over, and to show solidarity

So its decided that either Katara or Sokka must marry Zuko or Azula

Katara is in love with Aang, and so Sokka knows he must be the one to marry into the Fire Nation Royal Family

He talks about this to katara, who thanks him like hell for not separating her and Aang (not that she expected him to, but it’s a relief)

Aang finds out and thanks him too, and tells him that as the Avatar and as the only representative for the Air Nation, hes been invited and that bc sokka is his family too he will smite Azula or Zuko if they hurt him

He knows Aang wouldn't hurt a fly (seriously, how is he a vegetarian in the freaking South Pole), but he appreciates that Aang and Katara will be there to watch his back

he’s not too upset about being the one to marry bc he knows his sister will be happy, but honestly hates that this is happening at all bc Yue is dead

katara and aang distract him from these thoughts by asking him wether he think’s he’ll be drawn to the prince or the princess (bc sokka is bi and both have known that for ages)

he’s not sure, say’s he’ll see

In the fire nation, Iroh talks to Ursa, and they both talk to Zuko and Azula

They dont know about Aang and Katara, so Zuko and Azula talk about both Katara and Sokka

Azula is still a bit manipulative, but is working on it, and Zuko trusts her enough to tell her that he hopes that he doesn’t have to marry the Southern Princess

Azula asks why, and Zuko admits he likes boys

Azula is silent for a bit, and then says that she hopes she wont have to marry either one of them because she, Ty Lee, and Mai are dating

Zuko swears that she won’t have to stop dating them, that he will be the one to marry

azula and ty lee and mai are v grateful and vow to back him up and kick water tribe ass if whichever one he marries hurts him

in other news, Suki is at the ball as Earth King Kuei’s plus one/bodyguard, and she and azula hit it off so Suki ends up eventually dating Mai and ty Lee and azula as well

back to our regularly scheduled program

Before the ball, Sokka is getting ready with Chief Arnook (Hakoda is getting ready with Bato bc they dating bc I said so)

Sokka says “i loved her, you know. And I will do this for our tribes, and even if I do learn to love whichever of them I’m to marry, I’m not sure I can ever stop loving her, and I want you to know that I did.”

And hes awkward about it, but Arnook hugs him, and says “She loved you so much, Sokka. And she would want you to be happy, as I’m sure you know.” Then he pulls back.

“I know we are technically two separate tribes, but I want you to know, I still consider you a son.” Sokka cries a little, and nods, happy that he has the blessing of the man who was supposed to be his father in law. Sokkas just happy that he can still have that, and smiles at Yue as she rises to look over the ball

Shes smiling cause she knows whats about to happen, and does indeed wish sokka to be happy as he can and will be

Hakoda and Bato come to wish Sokka good luck, bc Sokka and Katara and Aang already talked to them about how Katara and Aang intend to stay together, 

Hakoda mentions how proud he is and sokka has to wipe a few tears from his eyes

Iroh and Ursa know the same thing about Zuko and Azula and Mai and Ty Lee, and both wish Zuko luck as well

Iroh makes sure to say how proud he is, and that Zuko is an honorable man

zuko def isnt crying, nope, but he wipes his tears away and carries on 

So Azula and Katara are both planning on pushing Zuko and Sokka towards each other, but honestly there doesnt need to be any pushing

The ball attendees, excluding the royals of each Nation (and the Avatar), get to the ballroom, and the doors open for the royals (who are all announced by name), and of course everyone knows what the ball is for (security is quadrupled, from all the nations)

First comes Fire Lord Iroh, followed by Lady Ursa

Next comes in King Kuei

Next is Chief Arnook

Then Hakoda and Bato

Then Zuko and Azula

Then Aang

And lastly, Sokka and Katara

Zuko and Azula are standing by Iroh’s throne, and as the water tribe royals walk in, Sokka and Zuko make eye contact

And both are so smitten with each other

And at some point, it is asked that at least one of the young fire nation and water tribe royals dance together

And Zuko and Sokka look at each other and grasp each others hands and dance

its a slow waltz

And they just look so right together, the two princes

And they go out on the balcony and talk

Zuko says he wants to get to know sokka better, and sokka agrees

But is hesitant still, and asks zuko if he knows why the ball was happening

Zuko kinda shrugs, and says “there was an attack on the NWT, by firebenders loyal to my father, whos a huge asshole and im glad hes not on the throne. Uncle wanted to prove that hes not his brother, which leads to me having to marry, well, you.” 

Sokka nods. “So they didn't tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Zuko asked, confused

“The attack on the NWT. The mission was to kill the moon spirit.” Zuko gasped, quickly checking that the full moon was in the sky, which it was. He knew what it meant, what would have happened to the waterbenders.

“They didn’t succeed, though, clearly.” He says, trying for comforting. Sokka laughed, harshly, without humor.

“They did, actually. Zhao - former Commander, now Admiral of Ozai’s followers - he killed it. My fiance, Princess Yue of the Northern Water Tribe, had a little bit of life from the moon spirit in her. To save us all, she decided to, according to her father, give it back.”

Sokka looks over to Zuko, who’s horrified

“So they’re expecting you to marry me? That’s kinda fucked up, especially if you loved her as much as it sounds like you do.”

Sokka nods. “Look, Zuko, I like you. I can tell already, I do. But,” and here he looks up at the moon, at Yue, “I will never stop loving her.” Looks back to Zuko “She will always have a part of me, and I need you to understand that if we’re supposed to marry each other.”

Zuko nods, understanding entirely. “It wasnt fair, and I would never ask you to stop loving her. I also can tell that I like you too, Sokka, and I’m willing to follow your lead on this. You clearly did love her, and I completely understand that you will continue to. I’m not…” Zuko takes a deep breath.

“I’m not going to ask you to betray your customs, your family, or any past love. I don’t want you to stop loving her, especially not when you clearly love her so much. And I’m willing to wait as long as you need and/or want to.”

Zuko’s nearly out of breath and hes being so honest it hurts, and Sokka’s crying a little so Zuko freaks out and thinks he said the wrong thing but Sokka is quick to reassure him that he said and did everything right

And they go back inside, together, and everyone looks at them, clearly expecting some kind of announcement here

And Sokka steps up, no longer teary eyed (mostly) and says: “I, Prince Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, with blessings from both Water Tribes, ask for permission from the Fire Lord to court Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.”

Hakoda, Bato, Arnook, Ursa, and Iroh are all by Iroh’s throne, and all of them step up. The guests had already parted the way. Katara and Azula are standing slightly to the side, but still nearby.  

“I, Fire Lord Iroh, give permission to Prince Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe to court Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, but only if Prince Zuko agrees to it.”

Both sokka and Zuko sigh in relief, smile, and nod at each other in agreement. Its Zuko’s turn to step up.

“I, Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, agree to be courted by Prince Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, with blessings from Fire Lord Iroh. I ask for permission from the Chiefs of both the Northern and Southern Water Tribes to court Prince Sokka.”

Hakoda and Arnook step up. Arnook speaks first. “I give my permission for Prince Sokka to be courted by Prince Zuko.” Hakoda is next. “I also give my permission for Prince Sokka to be courted by Prince Zuko, as long as Prince Sokka agrees to it.” 

Sokka smiles at Zuko, and they hold hands to show solidarity between nations. And maybe bc they wanted to

Their sisters and (partners of said sisters) come up to them, smiling

Katara and Aang hug sokka, saying theyre proud of him, but also still thanking him

Azula punches sokka and says to be good to her big brother or else

Sokka says yes ma’am

Katara threatens Zuko, who also responds with a yes ma’am

Azula and Katara shake hands, which scares the ever living fuck out of everyone except Toph who laughs

Shes here bc shes a fuckin beifong 

Aang trained with Pakku already (and katara of course) but has been looking for an earthbending teacher, and so convinces Toph to teach him bc bumi gave him the same advice here as in the show

Her parents aren’t entirely convinced, but Iroh offers to have the Beifongs stay (for business reasons, of course, winking at Aang and Toph), and that Toph will be safe here and can make new friends and future alliances between nations, which convinces them enough to agree to stay for a while

Sokka and Katara had to stay anyway of course, and Aang stays with Katara (and hey, wouldnt it be good if he could learn earth and firebending while at the palace), but everyone else went home

Shenanigans ensue

Zuko and sokka get closer as friends

And still really, really, really like each other

And of course theyre courting each other but soon they start like, dating dating

And fall in love

And live happily

Maybe Ozai tries to ruin their happiness but Toph punches him in his stupid face so its all good

#zukka #zukka fics #zuko #sokka

[onceuponastory]

Coming Back Home - Chapter Six: The Only Exception

And up until now I had sworn to myself That I'm content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk But you are the only exception

the only exception: paramore

Plot: Six years ago, Y/N left her hometown and all its bad memories behind, and never looked back. But now, she’s come back to be the maid of honour in her sister’s wedding. Returning ‘home’ means she has to confront her past, the last thing she wants to do. When she meets the handsome best man Nick, she feels more comfortable…until her sister asks her to show Nick around town…a town that Y/N fell out of love with a long time ago.

Can Y/N fall back in love with the town she left behind, and maybe find love of her own along the way? (based on prompt by @orphicodysseywrites​)

Tag List: @shinydixon​, @baker151910​ and @thesundrop​. Let me know if you want to be added!

Warnings: Some mentions of alcohol, death, abandonment and another panic attack.

Note: Happy Valentine’s Day weekend my loves! I know it’s Valentine’s tomorrow, but I’m working, so wanted to get this out today. This chapter is LOOOOONG, so enjoy ;)

Read the other parts / Read this story on Wattpad!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!

Y/N’s POV

“I’ll help her deal with this. Don’t want any issues, like last time.” I give Nick a knowing look, making him laugh. Leaving the room, and walking towards the front door, I expect to see a member of the groom party or the florist standing there, looking sheepish. But when I approach the door, I don’t recognise the person standing there. Katie looks over at me, her face pale and her eyes wide.

“Y/N....” She begins.

“Y/N!” The man smiles, cutting her off. He looks at me expectantly. “What, don’t you recognise me?” He asks. Frowning, I step closer, ready to tell him that I really don’t know who he is, and I’m sorry, but he has to....I stop my train of thought the second I see his eyes. My eyes. The same coloured and shaped eyes stare back at me. My heart almost drops out of my chest. It can’t be...can it? 

“D...Dad?” I stammer. His face lights up immediately, confirming my worst fears. “Oh my GOD!” I exclaim, moving closer to stand beside Katie. Protectively, I grab her hand, squeezing onto it tightly. I can’t believe he’s here. I feel like if I close my eyes and pinch myself, I’ll wake up from this nightmare. But I try it a few times, and everytime I open my eyes, he’s still there. Part of me knows I’m being dramatic, and should just stop...but what would you do if the man who abandoned you weeks after your mother died and barely had anything to do with you our your sister came back into your life? I can hear the noise of Adam and Nick walking up to us and speaking to our Dad, but most of their discussion is blocked out. All I can hear is the word “daughters”. Daughters. He has no right to call us his daughters, especially after abandoning us. 

“Dad? What are you doing here?” Katie asks. He looks at us like we’re stupid for even asking him that.

“Don’t be silly! I’m here to attend your wedding!” He grins, making me confused.

“But you told me that you didn’t-” I begin, but he walks into the house and starts walking up to us before I can even finish my sentence. Protectively, I tighten my grip on Katie’s hand. “No, Dad, you can’t just walk in-” I try to say again, but he ignores me, and comes closer towards us. I open my mouth again, but he cuts me off.

“God, you look so much like your mother Y/N.” He smiles. Jane’s words echo in my head as he says it. I wish people would stop saying that to me. I didn’t even remember my mother that well. The only memory I have of her is her dying, then my Dad abandoning us soon after. Maybe that’s why he left. Because I look too much like my mom. He reaches out to touch my face, and I instinctively step back, uncomfortable with him being anywhere near me, let alone touching my face. He frowns, but instead of saying anything, he looks over at Katie. “So, Katie.” He grins, staring down at us. “What do you say? How about a hug for your old man?” 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I whisper.

“Um...” Katie’s silent for a moment, before removing her hand from my grasp and slowly walking into our Dad’s embrace. “There you are. My beautiful daughter. My beautiful bride.” He smiles, pulling her close into a hug. My heart twists at that. This is what Katie deserved her whole life...and what I deserved too.  I don’t even register Nick moving closer and standing beside me until I hear: 

“You okay?” He whispers. I nod. To be honest, i wasn’t sure if I was okay. Part of me was hopeful that our Dad coming back would mean a change of heart, and a new beginning for us...but another part was worried he’d leave us again, and we’d be right back to square one. After all, he may be a piece of shit who abandoned us...but he was still our Dad. And even though I had known for a long time that it was worthless trying to get him to pay attention to us, or to show us love and support...part of me was still a little kid who wanted her Dad. My Dad pulls away from Katie and looks at me.

“Is it worth me asking for a hug?” He asks. I blink, surprised. “You know Y/N, you were quite rude to me on the phone a few weeks ago. I mean, I’m here now, aren’t I? I do care.” He almost hisses the last two words out, in a clear attempt to make me feel bad for my choice of words and accusations. Katie looks horrified. Our Dad plasters on a smile again, and turns back to Katie. “So, darling. Ready for me to give you away in a few days?” Katie’s face flushes.

“Um, you see Dad, the thing is......” She begins, her voice shaking with nerves. Adam steps closer and wraps his arm around her. Protectiveness washes over me again. 

“I’m doing it.” I reply, stopping Katie from saying another word. Our Dad’s eyes go wide, and he splutters.

“What? You?”

“Yes Dad. Me. I’m giving her away, and dancing with her at the wedding.” Our Dad is silent for a moment, then he starts laughing. 

“Well, you won’t need to do that anymore. That’s the father of the bride’s job, and I’m here now, so you can go back to...whatever the hell it is that you’re doing.” I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, Katie steps in, her voice stronger.

“No. No Dad, I want Y/N to do it. She’s been in my life the longest, and I want her.” She gives me a reassuring smile. She takes a deep breath. “You can still come to the wedding, I’m sure we can find you a seat somewhere...but I want my sister to give me away.” Our Dad starts sighing and shaking his head.

“I knew this would happen.” He states. “I knew your Grandmother would turn you both against me. That bitch never fucking liked me.”

“I wonder why!” I say before I can stop myself. The anger of the last twenty one years that’s been building up within me is clearly spilling over. “Gee, maybe it’s because you gave us up two weeks after her daughter died! And you just dumped us on her doorstep!”

“That’s not fair. It was hard work looking after you both on my own.” He argues back, pointing at me. “I did the best thing for you both by bringing you here. I did it because I cared about you two.”

“That might be true, but that’s not how I remember it.” I reply, having no idea where this new confidence is coming from. “I remember you telling Nana that ‘this shithole’ was the best place for us, and saying you didn’t care what happened to us after that. Also there’s the fact that you didn’t bother to contact us after that. So please, don’t act like you care about us all of a sudden.” My Dad steps closer, and Nick protectively moves closer to me. 

“How dare you. I gave you birthday and Christmas presents!” My Dad responds. 

“Yeah! On the wrong days!” I step closer to him.

“No, just-” Nick starts, but I continue regardless. I get closer, so close I can almost smell the alcohol on his breath. 

“Tell me, Dad.” I begin, hissing the word Dad. “When’s my birthday? When’s Katie’s?” He’s silent, and I cock my head, trying to ignore the pain of the fact that my Dad really doesn’t care about us. “Oh, was that too hard? Let me ask some more. Maybe they’ll be easier. What’s my favourite colour? What did Katie study at college? What did I study? Where do I live?” He doesn’t respond to any of them, and I laugh sarcastically. “And there it is everyone! The father who claims to love and care about his children, but doesn’t know a single thing about them!” I lean in closer to his face, slowly turning angrier. “Don’t you dare call our Nana a bitch when she did more for us than you ever did. She didn’t poison us against you, we realised for ourselves that you’re an asshole who never cared about us. We may be related to you by blood, but we are not your daughters.” I hiss. He’s silent, and I feel Nick gently pulling me back towards him. He protectively steps in front of me, slightly shielding me with his body just incase my Dad tries anything. My Dad finally speaks.

Nick’s POV

“See, this is the reason why I left you two. You’re so....dramatic Y/N. It’s annoying. And I guess I was wrong. It wasn’t your Grandma who poisoned you against me...it was you!” He points at Y/N. "You’ve ruined my relationship with my daughter. I can’t believe you’d be so...spiteful!”

“But...I’m your daughter too.” Y/N states, her voice quieter and shaky. I look over at her. Her face looks crushed, just like it did when we both had our argument. Anger grows within, and I step forward. I hate seeing Y/N like that, especially because it was my fault the first time. But now, I could help her.

“Don’t talk to her like that.” I order.

“Nick, don’t-” Y/N begins, but her father stops her. 

“And who do you think you are?” He asks. He steps closer, and I can smell the beer on his breath. 

“A friend of your daughters. But, given what Y/N’s told me, and what we’ve just heard, I think calling you a father is a bit of a stretch.” I reply. Rage grows on the man’s face even more. “By the way, in case you’ve forgotten, Mr Father of the Year, your daughters were four and two when you abandoned them here. I hardly think that’s their fault, don’t you?” The man scoffs.

“Listen, buddy. You don’t know anything about this situation, so butt out.” 

“No, actually. I know a lot about this situation, and I actually care about your daughters and their wellbeing, which is more than I can say about you, who’s blaming a four year old for why she and her sister were abandoned by you, and why they resent you for that.” Katie moves to stand beside Y/N, and wraps her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. Adam stands beside me, helping to protect the girls from their father. “And on that note, despite everything you did to them, both Y/N and Katie still had the decency to ask if you were coming to the wedding, which is more decency than you deserve. And you have the nerve to accuse Y/N of trying to ruin her sister’s life and relationship with you? All she’s done throughout her life is try to make her sister happy. And that includes inviting you, when she had no idea if you’d even show up. If you had stuck around, you would know how good a person she is.” Their Dad scoffs again.

“And why do you care so much?” 

“Because I care about your daughter. A lot, actually.” I say, not even caring if this destroys my friendship with Y/N, or if she doesn’t like me back in that way. “I’ve only known her for about three weeks, and I already know what a beautiful person she is, both inside and out. If you can’t see that, then that’s your problem.” I feel someone squeezing my hand from behind me, and I turn back around to see Y/N staring at me, her eyes glistening with tears...but still looking grateful. 

“Thank you.” She mouths at me, and my heart swells. Even if she doesn’t like me back, that feeling is more than enough.

Y/N’s POV

Hearing Nick standing up for me makes my heart sing, and I almost start crying. The smile he gives me sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach. 

“Anyway, why don’t we hear what Katie has to say?” Nick continues, and I give her hand another squeeze. She replies, her voice a lot more confident.

“Dad, Y/N has been with me for as long as I can remember, and Nick’s right. All she’s ever wanted to do is make sure I’m happy. And I still want her to give me away. We’ll find a place for you to sit, but this is my decision.” She looks over at me, a big smile on her face. “And I choose my sister.” My heart swells all over again, and a few tears fall down my face. “But I’d love to have you at my wedding, Dad.” She smiles.

“I can’t believe this.” Our Dad scoffs, shaking his head. “The only reason why I came here was to give you away, and you won’t even let me have that?” He asks. “God, it wasn’t even worth coming here.”

“No, Dad wait-” Katie begins, her voice sounding sadder. My heart rate rises. He’s going to leave us again. I know it. “You can still come to the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding, it-”

“Don’t you get it? If I’ll just be a guest then I don’t want to come to the rehearsal dinner! Or to the wedding. If you don’t want me to do my job as the father of the bride, there’s no point me even being there, is there?!”

“But you said....” Katie trails off, her eyes filling with tears. My anger rises.

“Are you serious? So you’re going to leave us? Again? Just like that? Just because you won’t get the attention you will as father of the bride?” I ask, feeling tears begin to stream down my face. I was being abandoned. Again. But before I can even say anything else, or before our Dad can respond, Katie lets out an anguished cry, and she runs upstairs. I look back at the stairs, then back at my Dad. Part of me wants to argue, to tell him to go to hell and to never call himself our Dad again, but like Katie did....I choose my sister. “Katie! Katie, wait!” I call, running upstairs after her. Once I reach the landing, I look around, trying to see what room she’s in. But her sniffling soon draws me towards my bedroom. I open the door to see my sister curled up in my bed, her back to me. “Katie?” I ask softly, sitting beside her at the end of the bed. It breaks my heart to see her like this. This was the one thing I didn’t want to happen. But me phoning our Dad probably caused this. And now he had left us. Again. My heart was shattering all over again. “Katie?” I ask again, Katie moves aside wordlessly. Once I’m in bed beside her, she turns to face me, her face streaked with tears. Before I can even do anything, she lunges forward and pulls me into a hug. She bursts into tears, and as soon as she does, I start crying too.

“I’m sorry...I just couldn’t...I-” She stammers, gasping for air slightly. 

“Don’t be silly. You don’t have anything to apologise for. This whole thing is my fault.” I reply through my tears. Katie pulls away, and frowns at me. “I’m the one who called him, so that’ll be why he came here. And he’s right...what if it was my fault that he left us the first time? And now it’s my fault he’s gone again, and that he won’t be here for your wedding.” I sniff. “I’m so sorry Katie.” I cry. “I’ve ruined everything for you.”

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s never been your fault. I meant it. You’ve been here for me, ever since we were kids. Actually...” She sniffles again. “Remember when you beat up the bullies for me in the school playground?” She asks. A memory flashes into my mind. Some kids in my year had found out about our parents, and had made it their life’s mission to tease us. I tried not to let it bother me, but Katie had it the worst. She was so young, she couldn’t defend herself...which is why I shoved them over and punched them...as hard as seven year old me could, that is. “I thought it was so cool, my big sister standing up for me like that.” She continues.

“Yeah well...Nana didn’t think it was that cool.” I am immediately reminded of sitting beside my Nana in the Principal’s office, being lectured on how to behave, and how even though they may have provoked it, I had no right to fight back like that. “I mean, I fought hard in my defence. And maybe Nana did agree...she just never told me.” I chuckle slightly, and even Katie giggles too. “And then there was those times when you used to crawl into bed with me when you had nightmares, instead of Nana.” I remember.

“Nana was scary! Could you blame me?” She laughs. “Actually...it was like this. You, cuddling with me in your bed and singing to me or telling stories before I fell asleep. You used to tell me stories of two princesses who would finally get their happy ending.” 

“Wonder who they are.” Katie smiles. 

“Well, you were right. I’ve finally found my happy ending.” She looks back up at me. “Y/N. I know you think this whole thing was your fault, but trust me. It is not. You’ve been more like a mother to me than a big sister all my life, and I love you so much. You could’ve just ignored me or pretended that I didn’t exist, but you didn’t. You’ve cared for me all this time, and you still are caring for me. So, thank you.” She pulls me back into a hug, and the tears start flowing again. “It just sucks that he won’t be there. That he doesn’t care.” She sniffles, and I start crying again. She’s right. Having your Dad abandon you again does suck.

“I know. I’m sorry. But Adam, Nick and I will be beside you every step of the way. We love you so, so much.” I reassure her. The two of us lay in each other’s arms for a while, neither wanting to leave the other alone. 

~~~

Sometime later

The door opens, and Katie and I look over to see Adam and Nick standing there. Katie moves out of my embrace, and runs to Adam, who leads her out of the room, presumably towards their room. Nick sits on the bed as I sit up. “Is he gone?” I ask. Sighing, Nick nods, and I start crying again. “He’s left me again.” I gasp between tears, feeling my heart rate rising as my anxiety and abandonment issues kick in again, combined with the stress and the emotions from earlier. “He’s abandoned me. Again. He doesn’t want me anymore” I gasp, feeling myself starting to hyperventilate. “Nick, what if he’s right...w-what if it’s my fault? What if he left me because I look too much like my Mom? What if I was too much of a bad kid? I always wondered if it was my fault. Maybe it was.” I ask myself, speaking quickly. Nick moves closer to me.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s not your fault. It’s his.” He tells me.

“Please...don’t leave me....” I beg through my tears. “Please...don’t leave me alone. I can’t lose you too.” 

“I won’t leave you.” He tells me. “I’m here. It’s okay. You won’t lose me. Breathe with me, okay? In and out.” He holds out his hands in case I want to take them, and I take them both as I try to regulate my breathing. Nick stays with me, holding my hands and helping with my breathing until I calm down. 

“I’m sorry Nick.” I sniff. “I’m sorry I’m so...messed up.”

“Y/N. It’s okay. You’re not messed up. I told you. I care about you.” He smiles, gently rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. 

“I just can’t believe he doesn’t even know anything about Katie or I...that he doesn’t even care.” Nick sits with me as I let out all my emotions, continuing to hold my hands, cheer me up and hug me when I need it. After I feel like I’ve calmed down properly...or as much as I could, Nick lays beside me, and lets my head rest on his chest. We lay together in silence for a while. Well, it’s not exactly silence. I can hear the sound of Nick’s heartbeat, and the sound of the birds chirping outside. But it’s nice. I can smell the scent of his cologne, feel the warmth of his body as I rest my head on his chest, and the movement of his chest as he breathes in and out. It helps to ground me and calm me even more. Even though I had no idea of how long we’ve been lying here, I don’t care. In all honesty, I could keep laying there for the rest of my life. It’s comforting, and in a way...it feels like home. Like where I’m meant to be. My feelings for him, and my talk with Katie from a few days ago flash back into my mind. And with it, comes Nick telling my Dad about how much he cares about me. Did he really mean it? Like...in that way? “Nick?” I ask. 

“Mhm?”

“When you said you cared about me earlier...did you mean it?” I ask. He looks down at me. 

“Of course I did. You’re such a wonderful person Y/N, it’s hard not to care about you after spending time with you.” A smile spreads on my face. Should I tell him how I feel about him? I look up into his blue eyes, and my heart answers the question for me almost immediately. 

“Nick. Can I tell you something?” I ask. He nods. “The other day I...I um realised something.” My anxiety kicks in again, and I’m worried that he won’t feel the same. But it’s been weighing on me for so long...I just have to tell him. “I...Um. I think...” I take a breath to steel myself. “IthinkIhaveacrushonyou!” The words are all strung together at once, and Nick frowns, blinking at me as he tries to understand what I said. Suddenly, his eyes widen slightly. He’s clearly understood. “I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same, and please don’t feel obligated to feel the same. Especially after today. I won’t feel bad. I just-I just had to let it out! You’re just so-” Nick cuts me off by gently running his fingers down my cheek and jaw line. Without saying anything, he leans closer, and delicately kisses me on the lips. It feels like time stops in that moment. At first, I’m so in shock I don’t even respond, and Nick pulls back from me slightly, waiting to see what I’ll say. Instead of responding with words, my hands wrap around his shoulders, my hands tangling in his shirt, and his go around my waist as I kiss him back passionately. My heart starts pounding again...but in a good way. It feels really nice to finally be kissing Nick, like this is how things are meant to be. Also, ever since the first time we almost kissed, part of me has been hoping for this...and now it was finally here. And it’s better than I ever could have imagined. Thank god we’re laying in my bed, because if he had kissed me like that standing up, I probably would have fainted from how weak my knees feel right now. Nick pulls away from me, part of my lipgloss smeared on his lips.

“I’m so glad you said that.” He whispers, his voice husky. “I’ve felt the same about you for the past two weeks.” I smile, and my heart feels like it’s doing backflips. 

“Then please don’t stop kissing me.” I whisper back, and Nick quickly returns his lips to mine.

Maybe I’ll get my happy ending after all.

A/N: In case you’re wondering, YES. this fic will be continued. I’m still going to show the wedding :)

#nick x reader #the broken hearts gallery #dacre montgomery x reader #dacre montgomery fanfic #nick fanfiction #nick fanfic #nick x y/n #dacre montgomery #dacre x reader #dacre montgomery fic #fanfiction #fanfic

[and-damntheconsequences]

Modern Merlin AU — With Gays and Churches

Slight CW for religious homophobia, and ofc I know that the majority of Christians are loving and beautiful people 💕

**

The Cast:

Uther: A firmly anti-gay pastor who is well known and mostly respected by the congregation and the community.

Ygraine: Uther's ex wife who divorced him after she found about an affair he had once had with a woman who named Vivian.

Arthur: Their son, who lives entirely with Uther and attends a religious school nearby.

Leon: Arthur's friend who also attends that school, who's parents have been going to Uther's church for years and years.

Merlin: A boy who recently joined the school after moving with his uncle, who teaches there. Also a closeted gay.

Gaius: An old friend of Uther's, a teacher at the school, and the only other person who knows about the affair.

Morgana: Uther's child from his affair with Vivian. She moves in with Uther when she's 10, since her mother can't financially support them both anymore.

Gwen: A girl at the school, who Arthur dates briefly in order to "prove" that he is straight.

Elyan: Gwen's brother, who lived with more distant family for a few years and has recently returned.

All other "round table" knights: New kids (they arrive at different times) who's parents have recently converted to Christianity and enrolled them in the school. Gwaine's family actually came from another church but he doesn't talk about that much, since he's not actually religious himself. Also Gwaine picks fights with homophobic teachers.

Kilgharrah: Either an angel, a demon, God Himself, or the school principal, I can't decide. Whichever he is, he occasionally pops up to give both Merlin and Arthur utterly useless life advice, in whatever form that takes depending on who he is. If he's somehow celestial, it's probably through sarcastic comments in dreams. If he's the school principal, he's just... That teacher that decides that stopping you in the corridor to Impart Words Of Adult Wisdom is a great use of everyone's time.

**

The Plot:

Uther becomes pastor at a church, and marries Ygraine. She disagrees with many of his views, but doesn't speak up about them, wanting to be a "good wife". That is, until she discovers that he once had an affair with a woman named Vivian and gave her a child. Ygraine then quietly divorces him and leaves, too afraid of making a fuss to try to get custody of Arthur. Uther tells everyone, including Arthur, that it was her choice to leave and that she willingly parted from the ways of the Lord. No one knows about the affair except him, her, and Vivian (and Gaius).

Arthur grows up with only Uther, not having many close friends, only Leon, who he's known his whole life and who's parents are also very religious. When Arthur is around 10, Vivian turns up on their doorstep, insisting that she has fallen into financial trouble, and cannot look after her child anymore. Uther takes Morgana in, insisting it was an act of charity on his behalf, and that Vivian was only an old friend. Everyone believes he is being a good samaritan, but secretly he hopes that if he "redeems" his child to the church, he may find redemption for what he did. Arthur and Morgana are the same age, and Uther begs Morgana not to tell Arthur the truth (threatening her for if she does), so he doesn't know she's his sister. They get on, mostly, but Arthur's a bit of a prat in lecturing her about God sometimes because he thinks that's how you make friends.

Anyway, a few years later, when Arthur is around 14, Merlin joins his school (they're roughly the same age here, Merlin only a few months younger.) He was sent to his uncle by his mother, since he came out to her and she didn't accept him. She wanted him to go to church and a religious school to "fix" him. He now lives with Gaius, and goes back into the closet for the time he's at school. He quickly becomes friends with Gwaine, who doesn't have many friends and is constantly in trouble for arguing with bigoted teachers.

Because he's really academic, Uther asks Gaius if it would be possible for Merlin to come round and help tutor Arthur in order to catch Arthur up with his studies, so Merlin starts coming around every Tuesday and Thursday. They slowly become friends, despite Merlin being quite rude, and Arthur having the most frustrating "holier than thou" attitude because he's the priest's son. Merlin develops a crush on him, and quickly gives up on trying to deny his sexuality to himself, but he can't tell Arthur, or anyone else.

In time, Merlin stops being so afraid of his own sexuality, and sneaks off to a pride parade and attends an LGBT group a couple of times. Gaius suspects what he might be doing, but says nothing.

When Morgana turns 16, she tells them all that she thinks she might be a lesbian. She's scared, but hopes that Uther may be understanding. Instead, he kicks her out, despite Arthur's protests that it isn't fair. She goes to live with some friends in similar situations, and over the next few months, cuts off Uther completely, changes school, and starts regularly attending LGBTQ+ events and just generally living her best lesbian life.

This makes Uther incredibly angry, and he takes it out on Arthur a lot, who starts going to Gaius and Merlin's after school to avoid him. He texts Morgana a bit, but is afraid to keep close contact with her, and still sees homosexuality as a sin. However, this whole situation has made him actually think about his own sexuality, and he's now afraid that maybe HE himself isn't totally straight. To prove that he is to himself, he asks Gwen on a date, but he can't ever truly like her, and she knows that.

At the same time, Merlin is trying to get rid of his crush on Arthur because he doesn't want to ruin that friendship, so he starts going to pride groups weekly, to meet others. He meets Will, a trans guy, and they almost date for a while, but Merlin can't commit to it because of his own feelings. Morgana happens to meet him there, and at first that interaction is a little awkward, but instead of pressuring him, she just gives him a hug, and tells him it's okay, she's learnt that now. She'll always be here for him if he needs to feel safe away from Uther/Arthur, or the school as a whole. He tells her that he hopes Arthur could be different from his father, and she says she hopes so, but she doesn't believe he would be — he seems to hate her too now. But that's okay. She's got a new family now. She's happy.

And then, eventually, Arthur comes to accept his own feelings, and Gwen does hers. He talks to Merlin about how he isn't sure if he's straight, and eventually they date, and then kiss. Gwen has a Bisexual Awakening™, and she reconnects with Morgana (they were friends before Morgana left) and they date too. Hunith (who's been having a side plot of researching things and learning and becoming a better, more accepting person) comes to stay with Gaius for a while, and tells Merlin she loves him, and will always love him no matter who he's with, and she's sorry she never said that before now.

When Arthur turns 18, his mother reaches out to him. She was too afraid to risk upsetting Uther and the church before, but she wants to know if he's okay. He's angry at her for all the years she was silent, and all the things he didn't know, and for leaving him, but in time, she tells him the truth. Morgana also tells Arthur the truth, knowing now that he doesn't blindly believe his father, and this won't tear a rift between them. Uther's affair is then revealed to the whole congregation, most of whom are appalled, and his reputation is ruined. The church gets a new pastor.

Some of the kids realise that they don't need religion to be valid and happy, and others realise that they can have both religion and love, and God can love them no matter who they are with. Both are okay, and everyone accepts everyone. They all live their best, gayest, cutest, and happiest lives.

***

Feel free to add stuff I love this concept. Also someone needs to write something like this and tag me bc I cannot write this myself — I'm incapable of managing the 3 fics I'm writing at the moment.

#merlin #merlin au #pride au #merlin pride #merlin modern au #modern merlin au #merthur #merthur au #merlin fanfic #merlin fic prompts

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Penny For Your Thoughts (IV)

Pairing: Young!Sirius Black x Reader

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N has lived in the Potter household since she was eight years old. Even amongst the Potters, whom she knew loved her, she has never felt truly accepted, never felt like anything other than a burden. Until she went to Hogwarts. For the first time she had friends who weren’t forced to act as such, she had a family who loved her by choice. There, she met Sirius, the first and only person to ever truly understand what she was going through, to listen to her and not judge.

Chapter Warnings: Ummm not sure - maybe swearing?

A/N: And here’s part four! Sorry, it’s like an hour later than usual bc I’m in pain and was asleep so didn’t see that it had turned 4 already but I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think - especially if you’re on the taglist, hearing your comments always inspires me to keep on writing, so please do let me know. If you wish to be added to the taglist send me an ASK, replies to the parts asking to be added onto it won’t be responded to

Also just to let you know, there’s been a bit of a time skip between this chapter and the previous, this is set at the beginning of the christmas holidays, there are gonna be a couple of these time jumps in the next few chapters so keep that in mind!

“Hey, mind if we join you?” James stood in the doorway of the train compartment containing the group of Hufflepuff girls, flanked by Peter and Remus, all of them holding their trunks. 

“Sure,” Beatrice moved her legs to make space for them to sit down on the chairs beside her. 

Jessica curled up further into herself, her eyes staring resolutely at the book in her hands, her cheeks a light pink as Remus sat on the same bench at her, ensuring to keep a fair amount of distance between him and the shy girl, though did his best to offer her a reassuring smile.

Liane and Y/N were sitting on the floor in between the two benches, playing a game of Exploding Snap with Liane’s deck. Beatrice was watching, having decided to sit out for the first round under the pretence of taking a nap.

Y/N knew better though. Beatrice had confided in her that morning at breakfast that she  was dreading going home for the Christmas holidays.

James grinned at Beatrice and sat down beside her, his eyes looking down at the game as well and Peter took the chair next to him, also feigning interest.

“Hang on - where’s Sirius?” Y/N asked, having expected to see the final part of their little group enter into the compartment behind them, but there was no sign of him. 

“He’s not going home for the holidays,” James informed her with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Y/N frowned at the news.

“He’s staying at Hogwarts?” Y/N asked in shock.

“That does tend to be the alternative to going home,” James confirmed, giving her a hard look, clearly telling her not to press the subject just yet. Y/N looked at him silently for a moment before sighing and nodding her head.

“Hey - keep playing, entertain me!” Beatrice groaned, throwing an empty chocolate frog box at Y/N’s head. She glared at her best friend, trying to hide her smile.

“I feel used,” Liane commented, frowning at Beatrice who winked at her. 

“If you’re lucky I’ll pay you for your services.”

“Now I just feel… dirty.” Liane shuddered a little. “Dirty and used.”

“James? Peter? Remus? Fancy playing?” Y/N spoke loudly to cut off the conversation between Liane and Beatrice. She held up the deck of exploding snap.

“Alright then,” James agreed, moving down to join the girls seated on the floor. As expected, Peter was quick to follow suit.

“Oh - I wanted to talk to you!” Liane exclaimed, pointing at James with her eyes gleaming mischievously. Y/N saw James exchange confused looks with Remus and Peter before shooting a questioning one at Y/N, who bit her lip and ducked her head to try and hide her laughter.

“Yeah?” James asked uncertainly. “What about?” As far as Y/N was aware, James and Liane had never actually had a conversation that Y/N wasn’t present for, but she could guess what she was about to tell him.

“We were talking a few nights ago,” Liane started, a serious look on her face. Even Jessica had raised her eyes from the book she was pretending to read, peeking over the top of the pages to watch the interaction and Y/N could tell that she was trying hard not to laugh. 

“That’s nice?” James said unsurely when Liane didn’t immediately continue. The red-headed girl gave a nod of approval, as though James had said just the right thing. 

“And you came up.”

“I knew you couldn’t resist talking about me,” James beamed at Y/N who rolled her eyes, finishing dealing out the cards and picking up her pile.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Liane waved him off. “Anyway - you and I would have cute children.”

James’ face slackened into one of utter shock, his eyes widening as he stared at her.

“I’m sorry?” He spluttered.

“It’s the truth - the two of us would have really cute children!”

“Well children aren’t exactly the first thing on my mind,” James responded a little faintly, still staring at Liane, who looked unconcerned as she picked up her own cards.

Remus, Beatrice and Y/N were in stitches from the interaction, while Jessica had lifted her book again to hide her own quiet laughter and Peter was tittering nervously, looking at James as though he was unsure of whether or not it was okay for him to laugh. 

“Maybe start with a proposal,” Beatrice offered between her laughs.

“Well obviously not,” Liane scoffed, doing a wonderful job at maintaining a serious expression, despite her lips twitching, obviously wanting to grin. “But, hypothetically speaking...”

“Hypothetically speaking we’d have cute kids?”

“Really cute kids,” Liane emphasised with a solemn nod of her head.

“Sorry to disappoint you but, unfortunately James is only interested in one red head,” Remus told her, managing to recover himself but there was still a wide, amused grin on his face.

“Now if Evans was to propose we have kids, that would be a whole other matter,” James confirmed immediately.

“Potter - you’re missing the point,” Liane sighed. “I don’t want to have kids with you - or, at least, the only reason I would is because I could enter them into beauty competitions and get money for it.”

“I feel like that’s morally wrong to some degree,” Y/N stated, playing her next card. 

“In this hypothetical world I’ve created it’s okay to do things that are morally ambiguous.”

“So they’re not morally ambiguous at all?” Remus questioned.

“Precisely.”

“Has Lily literally ever spoken to you other than to tell you to leave her alone?” Y/N asked, frowning at James.

“Yes,” he stated defiantly, jutting his chin in the air.

“Sometimes she asks him to pass him things at dinner.” Remus confirmed, laughing and dodging out of the way when James threw his Exploding Snap cards at him in retaliation.

“Careful with those! They’re not ours!” Liane complained.

“Whose are they, then?”

“Rosa’s,” Y/N shrugged as Remus collected the cards up again and handed them back to James.

“Who’s Rosa?”

“Are you joking?” Beatrice looked at James incredulously and the black-haired boy looked to his two friends, who clearly shared his confusion. “She’s the other Hufflepuff girl in our year.”

“She doesn’t exist,” James stated matter-of-factly.

“I’m sorry?” Y/N spluttered.

“I’ve never even heard of her!”

“There are so many things that you haven’t heard of Jamie, considering how small your brain is, it doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.”

Remus snorted with laughter at her response and shared a grin with Y/N. 

“I don’t know who she is either,” Peter piped up, looking glad that he was capable of lending his support to James who responded with a grateful nod.

“She’s in every charms class with you guys and sits with us at meals - you really don’t know who she is?” Liane asked.

“She must be shy,” Remus offered.

“Jess is shy! You still know who she is!” Beatrice protested, pointing at her friend, who went bright-red at being brought so suddenly into the conversation but mustered up as much of a smile as she could.

“Where is she now, then?” 

“She’s staying at school over the holidays and offered to lend us her pack of snap,” Y/N explained.

“Well… we’ll ask Sirius when we get back.”

“You’re going to ask Sirius to either confirm or deny the existence of our roommate?”

“Yes.”

“Good - just wanted to double check.”

The remainder of the train-ride back to London passed quickly, filled with games of Exploding Snap and talk about their plans for Christmas - Remus imploring Y/N to do her best to ensure that James actually got some of the homework that they had been set finished, followed by James feigning annoyance at his friends’ mothering.

“James! James over here!” Mrs Potter’s voice rang out across the station, audible to Y/N even over the hubbub of the other parents present to pick up their children for the holidays.

“Y/N!” Mr Potter called as well. James and Y/N smiled at each other, James rolling his eyes a little at the evident enthusiasm in his parents voices. 

“You two are going home together?” Peter asked, frowning as he, too, stepped down onto the platform behind James and Y/N.

“The Potters are giving me a lift,” Y/N denied immediately. “Have a good Christmas, Peter!” She gave Peter a brief hug that left him bright pink and embarrassed. “You too, Remus,” she said to the scarred taller boy, who was slightly more ready for her hug, but a light shade of pink dusted his cheeks.

“Have a good Christmas, Y/N!” The Hufflepuff was wrapped into a bone-crushing hug from Liane and half-laughed, half-groaned from it.

“You too!” She hugged Beatrice next before being pulled into a hug by Jessica, who was clearly embarrassed at having initiated it. “I’m gonna send you your present in a few days - is that alright? I’ll send Eric’s with it.”

“You didn’t need to get us anything,” Jessica told her, though she was beaming.

“We’re friends, Jess! It’s a thing!” Y/N teased and Beatrice threw her arm over the shorter girl’s shoulder, beaming down at Jess who seemed to shrink a little in her hold, a bashful smile on her face.

“But if that’s your way of saying that you didn’t get us anything it’s okay, we understand,” Beatrice teased.

“Of course I did!”

“Y/N!” 

It was Mr Potter again, laughter in his voice as he shouted for her.

“I gotta go - I’ll see you next term!” 

“See you!”

As Y/N rushed through the crowds of Hogwarts students on the platform towards the Potters, her trunk clasped in hand, a few other classmates called out to wish her a good Christmas. 

James stood by his parents, his eyebrows raised at her.

“Said goodbye to all your friends?”

“Just because you only have three.”

“Hello, dear,” Mrs Potter was quick to pull Y/N into a hug, Mr Potter tugging her trunk from her hands. 

“Hey Mrs Potter,” Y/N smiled before moving to give Mr Potter a quick side-hug. 

“Hurry up, Fleamont! I want to hear all about their first term!” Mrs Potter scolded, having already bustled away from the other three towards the barrier. 

“And you left me to deal with her alone for four months,” Mr Potter sighed with a teasing eye roll. 

On the drive home from the train station, James filled the silence with tales of his first term at Hogwarts, answering all the questions that his parents had about the current staffing and the courses, Y/N occasionally chipping in whenever James would forget to mention something. They had just moved onto the topic of their new friends when they pulled into the drive.

The Potters had a wonderful house. It was rather large, thanks to the wealth of their ancestors, and could be found in the countryside near Oxford. Sweeping fields surrounded it, a forrest lay at the end of their garden where, if they walked far enough, they would find a clearing large enough to play Quidditch in over the summer, Mr Potter having build a store-shed for their equipment.

In the summer, flowers bloomed all over the front yard - even more in the garden and the serenity of the Potter home caused it to be an attractive place for many creatures to take refuge. 

This had been one of Y/N’s favourite things about moving in with the Potters - the discovery of the many magical creatures of the wizarding world and being able to learn to care for them from an early age right in their backyard. 

“Y/N, dear,” Mrs Potter called before Y/N could follow James up the stairs and onto the first floor, where both of their bedrooms were situated.

“Yes?” She turned, taking in the concerned expressions on both of their faces.

“When James talks about this boy - Sirius…”

“Yeah?” Y/N frowned a little, unsure of exactly where this conversation was going.

“He doesn’t mean Sirius Black as in… as in the Black family, does he?” Mr Potter questioned.

“I mean… that’s his family name, if that’s what you’re asking me,” Y/N responded unsurely.

“Do you happen to know if Sirius is… is a pureblood?”

“He is,” Y/N confirmed and watched as Mr and Mrs Potter exchanged dark looks, as though their worst fears had just been confirmed. 

“Is he nice to you?”

“He’s really lovely, Mr Potter,” she assured the man. 

“He’s nothing like his family,” James’ voice was cold, having rejoined his family in the kitchen after dropping his possessions in his room. He was frowning at his parents, his arms crossed over his chest. “Sirius is great - his family sucks.”

“Yes, sweetheart - we know what his family are like, we’ve met them,” Mrs Potter said, her voice soothing, wanting to calm down her son. “That’s why were worried about-”

“He’s nothing like them,” James stated, leaving no room for argument. “He was told not to go home for Christmas because his parents needed time to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t sorted into Slytherin and had associated himself with blood-traitors and mudbloods.”

“James - language.” Mr Potter snapped, looking worriedly at Y/N, who dropped her gaze to the floor.

“Mrs Black’s words, not mine,” James grumbled. “Sorry,” he added after a moment.

“He was told not to go home?” Mrs Potter asked and when Y/N looked at her, she looked utterly heartbroken.

“He’s not like them,” James repeated, sounding a little more defeated than before, his voice filled with emotion and sympathy for his new-found friend.

“That poor boy.”

James’ recount of Sirius’ reasons for remaining at Hogwarts over the holiday remained in Y/N’s mind the rest of the evening, through dinner when she was asked by the Potters about her own friends, about Hufflepuff common room (since neither had been sorted into Hufflepuff, it was new territory for them) and about how much she was enjoying the lessons. 

When she wandered up to her room, she was still pondering over Sirius, thinking about what he may be doing at that moment in the lonely castle. If his parents didn’t want him home for Christmas, what would the holiday be like for him? 

Sad - most likely. And lonely. Materialistically, Y/N wondered whether he would be receiving any presents - surely James, Remus and Peter would step up for their new friend, perhaps Frank would and besides the Gryffindor boys, Sirius was well-liked in general amongst their year.

Y/N changed into her pyjamas, climbing under the familiar covers of her childhood, debating the best present that she could get for Sirius.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #sirius black series #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x hufflepuff!reader #young!sirius black #Penny For Your Thoughts #PFYT #courts writings

[bre-meister]

Hi! i loved your drabbles, can you do the greens with the prompt “she doesn’t know how much he loves her, he doesn’t know she feels the same” and a confession?

It took me a looong time to write this (and I feel kinda bad because I could never find any inspiration to write your other ask) so I hope this super long post makes up for it

“This is bullshit.” 

Boomer, turned to his girlfriend, eyes wide. Bubbles almost never swore. It was something that happened, sure, but not very often and only when what she was referencing was completely serious. Boomer looked around, confused. There was nothing in their immediate area to warrant such a reaction from Bubbles. 

The two were sitting in a booth in a niche dinner that they had been coming to for years, even before they officially began dating. They had silently been watching Buttercup say goodbye to her...date? Honestly, Boomer didn’t know how to categorize it - they had, in all sense of the words, been on a double date with his girlfriend’s sister and her newest fling but it didn’t really seem to him that Buttercup was fully there the whole time.

“What do you mean?” he finally asked, “What’s bullshit?”

“That” she gestured wildly at her sister who was now standing alone on the street, her date having departed. Bubbles’ gesture turned into a friendly wave when Buttercup turned to look over her shoulder at the two still situated in the dinner. Boomer snorted at her silly antics. 

Buttercup returned the wave with a smile that didn’t seem to reach her eyes before taking off to the sky, presumably home but Boomer had a feeling she’d be making a stop along the way. Bubbles let out a deep breath, turning away from the window to face him fully.

“She should be with Butch. Those two are totally meant to be! Instead, she’s wasting her time on these random guys trying to deny her feelings. Would it be so bad if she just accepted them? If they tried to be more than just friends?”

Boomer hummed in thought. He wasn’t blind to the way that Butch felt about BC. In fact, he was pretty sure Buttercup was the only one who hadn’t realized it. 

“She doesn’t know how much he loves her. I mean, honestly, I don’t know how she hasn’t realized it yet but she hasn’t.”

“Yeah but he doesn’t know that she feels the same either and for a guy who talks as much game as Butch he’s being a real scardey cat about asking her out.” Boomer laughed at that. Butch was the dictionary definition of male posturing with only one exception - Buttercup. When it came to her, he was terrified about messing anything up.

“I’ve been left no choice.” Seeing where this was going, Boomer tried to interject.

“Sweetie I don’t think -” 

“No, I’ve given them ample time, and yet here we are.” She was already pushing past him, all but climbing over him to get out of the booth and on with her plans.

“Clearly, Butch isn’t going to make a move anytime soon and if I know Buttercup, which I do, she won’t either. “ At this point Bubbles was shrugging on her jacket, preparing to walk out the door. Boomer jumped up quickly, shoving his arms into his own jacket while nearly tripping over himself to catch up with her - she was moving quickly and the look in her eyes before she left did not bode well for their siblings.

“Bubs, what exactly are you going to do?”

She stopped abruptly, the blue of the sky meeting the deepest color of the ocean as she looked intently into his eyes. At that moment, he knew that she wouldn’t be swayed from whatever it was that she was planning.

“They’re miserable tiptoeing around each other; making one another jealous both intentionally and unintentionally. You said it yourself, Butch was going crazy about Buttercup going out with someone else tonight. If they won’t get together for their own sake I’m going to ger them together for everyone else’s sanity!”

Bommer couldn’t deny she had a point. Dealing with a jealous raging Butch gets old fast and he knew Brick had even less patience for this than he did.

“Well, when you put it that way, “ he sighed “how can I help?”

……

“So I take it the date didn’t go very well?”

Buttercup sighed. She knew she shouldn’t have come here, knew she should have gone straight home but she couldn’t help it. She needed to see him, touch him. Apparently, she was a masochist now - torturing herself with the one thing she wants more than anything yet knows she can’t have.

“He took one look at the way Bubbles and Boomer were acting. Like even though we were on a double date they were the only ones around for miles.” She explained at his confused expression. “So he said that I’d never shown that much interest in him and he didn’t see it happening anytime soon, so he ended it.” She trailed off slightly at the end, not that it really mattered, she knew he could hear every single word with his superhearing - what she didn’t know was how desperately he clung to every word she said, every sound she made, every laugh, every sigh, everything.

“Harsh.”

“That’s the saddest part about it though, I wasn’t upset. Well, I was just not at him.”

 “Then at what?” Butch was studious when it came to Buttercup. He wanted to know everything about her. He wanted to know her deepest dreams, her heart’s greatest desire, and he wanted to make those happen for her - he wanted to give her everything.

“At Bubbly and Little Boy Blue I guess, at Leader Girl and Cap boy, at Robin and Mike and Mitch and Pablo and just...everyone who seems to be able to find that type of love.” They sat in silence for a bit, each hoping the other would say something but neither being brave enough to do so. Eventually, Buttercup broke the silence.

“Maybe I just need to accept that I’ll never have that.”

“Don’t say that Butterfly,” she smiled at her and lifted her face until they were looking into each other’s eyes. For a moment he lost his train of thought, lost as he was in her green eyes - green like acid, a warning to all those who would underestimate her but he would never; he knew the power held inside her small body, knew that she could end him without much effort and he loved that about her 

No, he silently scolded himself. You’re not allowed to love things you can’t have. He shook his head imperceptibly before continuing.

“ You’ll find that. I don’t believe there’s no one out there who wouldn’t want that with you. I - “ 

I want that with you. I want it more than anything in the world. I want it so much it hurts. How have I been this blind this whole time? 

“I’m your best friend. I should know better than anyone right?” He told himself that it wasn’t disappointment he saw in her face - crushed that hope just as violently as he had all the others. It couldn’t be and he wouldn’t ruin their relationship on hope. He’d rather be just friends and be able to keep her close than not have her in his life at all.

“Best friend.” She repeated. 

Standing up she let go of his hand - something she hadn’t realized she had grabbed and was loathed to let go of - so she could prepare to leave. She shouldn’t have come. It always hurt more to leave than it did before she came yet she couldn’t stay away. Masochist.

“Bye Butch. Thanks for everything.”

Everything. There was that word again. He wanted to tell her that he would give her everything she was looking for, treat her like she was everything because she was. Instead, he simply told her goodbye. 

Buttercup hesitated at the door. She would have liked to hug him, friends hug right? She decided against it though knowing that after the night she’d have she wouldn’t be able to let go. So, instead, she went back home to her empty apartment and presented that he was there, holding her the way she wished he would. In turn, as he lay in bed just a few miles away, he held tightly to his extra pillow wishing it was her and he could hold her the way he so desperately wanted to.

she doesn’t know how much he loves her, he doesn’t know she feels the same. So naturally, their siblings conspire to change that.

……

Brick thought this was dumb. Who were they to meddle in the lives of their siblings? In his mind, If the two idiots couldn’t figure this shit out on their own, then they deserve the literal nonsense they are imparting upon themselves. He checked his watch before looking around the room again. Blossom was sitting next to him, tapping away at her phone - no doubt checking her emails. Bubbles and Boomer were whispering, probably conspiring, together in the kitchen. Everyone was in the same place they were five minutes ago when he’d last checked - five minutes ago when this little shindig was supposed to start. Brick Jojo was many things and patience was not one of them.

“How are you sure they're even going to show up considering they’re already late and all.”

“That’s not fair Brick, Buttercup and Butch are perpetually late to everything.” Blossom reminded him without even looking up from her phone.

“I know they are going to show up because I told Buttercup that I needed her help and Buttercup never stands me up when I need her help.” Bubbles looked very proud of herself.

“She’s right, Buttercup would drop everything if Bubbles said she needed help.” Blossom supported Bubbles whose proud look turned to a smug one.

“And I told Butch I needed his help - “

“Butch would stand your ass up in a heartbeat and you know that.” Boomer glared at his brother but didn’t try to denounce the statement.

“I told him I needed his help with a surprise for Buttercup.”

“Butch would drop anything for Buttercup.” There goes Blossom, yet again defending this plan that he oh so detested.

“Brick please just try, for me?” Blossom finally looked up from her phone only to give him the biggest puppy dog eyes in the world. He hated when she did that - she knew he couldn’t say no to those big, gorgeous pink eyes. He let out a sigh and the others took it as a sign.

Exactly ten minutes from when this shindig was supposed to start, the two greens showed up, both equally as confused as the other.

“Bubbs? I thought you said you needed help with cooking a...what was it? A ‘super special top-secret dinner’ - this doesn't seem like a secret to me.” BC voiced her confusion while taking her coat off. She eyed each person in the room and lingered just a tad longer than she perhaps should have on her counterpart.

“Boom told me he and Bubbly needed help with a surprise for you.”

“Me?” Butch nodded.

“Well, I guess you could say this is a surprise.” Boomer began nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck - a nervous tick from childhood he hadn’t seemed to shake.

“A surprise for both of you!” Came Bubbles' overly enthusiastic response.

The two greens turned to their redheaded leaders for some guidance. Surely they wouldn’t have allowed Boomer and Bubbles to rope them into this nonsense. Brick just shrugged as if to say don’t look at me. I don’t want to be here any more than you do. Blossom seemed to take pity on them.

“Look, we’ve all been talking and it seems that we’ve all noticed a running thread with the two of you and we think it’s time to address it.”

“So this is an intervention then?” Buttercup seemed tickled at the idea

“Of sorts,” said Blossom.

“Ok if this is an intervention, then what are you intervening in because last time I checked I haven't smoked since high school, and Butterfly and I don’t drink any more than any of you.”

“See? That right there! That’s why we’re here!” Bubbles was just met with more confusion. She sighed,

“The pet name, Butch.”

“What about it?” The green-eyed man was suddenly very defensive. “It’s just a nickname. We all have nicknames for each other that’s just the kind of shit that happens when you work together all the time.”

“Ya but, Butch, you’re the only one that calls me Butterfly.” 

Buttercup was pretty sure she had never seen Butch’s face that red before. Brick, who had been sitting so silently up until now, seemed to have reached his breaking point.

“Look, we’re here because, apparently, the two of you are just so blind that you can’t see you’re in love with each other.” The sentence came out so casual as if he were just stating that the sky was blue.

The greens turned to each other, mouths gaping.

“Brick!” Both Bubbles and Blossom were not happy.

“What? If you thought that I was going to sit here and play ring around the Rosie with all of you then you thought wrong. The whole point of this was to get these two idiots so they would quit complaining to us! Clearly none of you we’re willing to do it so there, you’re welcome.”

Slowly all eyes turned towards Butch and Buttercup who had closed their mouths but were still staring at one another. 

Buttercup didn’t know what to say. She should feel overjoyed right? The man she had been pinning after all this time loved her back. But there was a small part of her brain that she couldn’t ignore and it was saying that it had to be a lie - it had to be or Butch would have said something to her before then...right?

“I - you love me?” It took a moment for her to realize that the words had come from her mouth.

“I guess there's no reason to deny it at this point huh?” Butch twitched - his own nervous tick he hadn’t had any luck in shaking.

“I um,” he paused, nervously looking around at their siblings, “I don’t really want to do this here. Can we, you know, go somewhere more… private?”

Buttercup swallowed nervously before offering up her apartment as a rendezvous since it was closer than his. The two departed without goodbyes, taking off as fast as they could to reach their destination.

“Well, I thought that went well.” Brick was smirking. The three glares he received indicated that the others did not share the same feeling.

……

“Would you just say something?” Butch sat nervously on Buttercup’s couch as she paced in front of him.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you love me too. Say that you want to be with me before I go insane about how much of an idiot I sound like right now.”

Buttercup stopped.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Mean what?”

“Do you really love me? Would you really look at me the way Boomer looks at Bubbles? Would you treat me with the same respect Brick treats Blossom? Would you miss me so much when I’m not around that you complain like Mike does about Robin?” She had worked herself up into a frenzy by the end of her rant.

“Buttercup, I already do those things, you’ve just never noticed.” His quiet reply broke something in her - those walls she had been building up for years and years to keep these feelings down. Now, they were all coming to the surface at full force.

She wasn’t sure who made the first move, him or her, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered is that they were together and he was kissing her as if she were air and he was suffocating. She’d never been kissed like this before and she finally understood what it meant to feel those fireworks that her sisters and friends always waxed poetic about.

“Wait.” It took all the power she had to pull away.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” He seemed scared- more scared than she had ever seen him the whole time they’d known each other.

“No. I just needed to tell you, before I forgot. I love you, Butch.”

As if a spark went off the two crashed back together. This time, instead of sleeping alone and wishing, the two lay - naked, sated, happy - in each other's arms. Whispered confessions of love and wanting shared between them until sleep finally took over. Nothing would ever be the same again, but maybe that was for the best.

#PPG #ppg fanfic #ppg greens #ppg buttercup #ppg butch #my writting #seriously this got out of hand

[ikeservant]

Okok I loved your recent headcanons it was so amazing 👌👌 thank you sm!! Can I please request again for headcanons with Kenshin, Shingen, and Hideyoshi (yes my favs) with an mc who used to be an athlete and dancer? She is active, reckless loves to learn self defence and sword fight? I love your stuff please take your time!!! ❤️❤️

Ahh thank you so much Imma cry ^.^!!! I binge wrote this as a good de-stressor from my finals assignments. I love these headcanon requests and am always down to image adn geek out to the warlord bois! I hope you like it. Idk if I did my bois justice but I tried

Kenshin: Boi did MC knock out every stereotype of women he had. The first time he called her frail she took her hidden short sword and unsheathed it with a dangerous smile on her face. “You wanna say that again?” This intrigued the God of War, who would accept any chance of a fight. She put up a fair fight but was knocked to the ground with a sword to her chest. Kenshin put his sword back, an amused expression on his face. “You haven’t been in battle but you can hold your own. You have my respect.” and he invites MC to drink sake with him, starting a beautiful friendship. They would spar out in the field, giving MC exercise and Kenshin the company of someone he’s fond of (someone he’s attracted to AND duel with? JACKPOT). MC would notice lately he was holding back on the sparring, and instead focusing on teaching her self defense. When she asked him about it, his eyes turned somber. “I cannot bear to think of the possibility of causing a single bruise on your body. Instead I’ll teach you how to prevent others from putting bruises on your body.” Even with self defense training, he was more gentle with her. When she finally confronted him, she got his love confession and how he never wants her to get hurt or die. After reciprocating the confession, MC had to convince him that she’s clearly not made of glass and that bruises are okay and they’ll heal. He’ll still be terrified that her recklessness will cause her demise and it will all be his fault, but MC can tell he gets in those moods and makes sure to be soft and cuddle and give him loving, letting him know she’s here and she won’t leave his side and to not be a prisoner of the past. With enough reassurance that she’s plenty strong and capable, she is put in charge of training certain troops. The only condition is that only Kenshin is allowed to patch up and take care of his lover’s bruises and scrapes bc he’s a soft boi that wants to make sure the love of his life is healthy and happy. She quickly earned the title “Goddess of War” because they quickly learn that she is the fiery female version of icey Kenshin, not being able to keep up with her running and drills. Whoever has attitude about her being in charge or calling her weak will meet Kenshin’s wrath before she even has a chance to retaliate against the punk. 

Shingen: He is so amused and smitten right off the bat when he sees MC. He made the mistake of sneaking up behind her in an attempt to flirt, prompting a knee to his back with his arm bent back in a way that it could break any moment. “Your strength and cautiousness rival your beauty, I see.” His vassal Yukimura rushed over to try splitting the confrontation, trying to reassure MC that he wasn’t a harasser, just a giant flirt. After clearing the air, Shingen invites MC to sweets and tea with them , which MC agrees ferociously since she has been running around nonstop and requires more fuel for her belly. All women are goddesses in his eyes, but as MC talked about all her activities and her sadness that nobody wants to fight her even though she’s plenty strong, he was enamored with this fierce goddess in front of him. The more they saw eachother on the streets, the closer they were. Eventually Shingen invited her on a date to a festival nearby. When they arrived there was a musical section that people were dancing to, causing MC’s ears to perk up since its been so long since she’s gotten to dance. In a fit of excitement, she pulled Shingen’s hand and led him in a dance that seemed so foreign and energetic but so magical at the same time and he is officially IN LOVE. MC pulled him in a kiss like the wildcard she is, and BOOM they became the biggest power couple. She was the constant bundle of youthful energy and passion that kept his slowly deteriorating body glowing. He will teach her self defense, but be prepared for lots of flirting and sexual tension till self defense becomes make out defense. He lets her be as active as she wants and it motivates him to be more active as well. Whatever she does he’s in awe. Will corner anyone verbally if they say anything about his love’s swoleness and bold attitude that was unusual for Sengoku era women because she will always be a fit warrior goddess who is the bold sun to his sky and nobody’s close minded bullcrap will change that. When MC gets too reckless and causes injury, he will pamper her and convince her FOR ONCE to settle down until she heals. “Even angels need to heal their wings, my love.”

Hideyoshi: When he was suspicious that MC was a secret spy, he decided to sneakily follow her around, always one hallway behind. Suddenly he hears two swords unsheathe and a loud female voice proclaim “Let’s take this outside!” He immediately charges over with a “What the hell is going on here?”, seeing Masamune with both of his swords unsheathed, one in his hand and the other in MC’s hand. “The lass talked about wanting to swordfight.” Hideyoshi lecture ensues “The HELL she is. You are NOT fighting women.” Of course active MC isn’t having any of that. “How about this? We’ll use the practice swords so my ‘delicate lady skin’ doesn’t get scarred, party pooper.” *Dear heavens is this Masamune’s long lost female twin?*. Before he could retaliate, Masamune and MC ran off to spar. During that night he heard both a man and woman scream and a crashing thud. He immediately bolted towards the source of the noise. He found MC over top of a nearly unconscious man in front of Nobunga’s hall. Finding out that she saw a shady looking man with a dagger go towards Nobunga’s room and using her self defense skills to bring him down by surprise, potentially saving his lord’s life, he immediately trusts her and apologizes for being condescending and harsh on her, offering to start from scratch and be friends. Cue big brother mode, noticing MC’s hands red and sore from carrying heavy objects and practice swords and giving her hand cream to help. Would have a heart attack going into town with MC since she’d be running to everything that peaked her interest, making him run after her. Hideyoshi thought she could be quite troublesome and not the most polite/ladylike but somehow he couldn’t take his eyes off of MC with her inner and outer strength, energy that lit up every banquet, and eyes ablaze with passion. Would most likely confess his feelings for her after she recklessly runs into battle and almost dies protecting him, causing him to freak out and splutter how much he loves her, relieved that she reciprocates. They are an oddball, complementary couple that fits so well and are eachothers cheerleaders and guardians(Nobunga ships it hardcore). He keeps her from getting too reckless and makes sure she looks after herself, spoiling her and patching her up. She helps him loosen up and lets him lean on her for support and strength and makes sure he looks after himself, which is hard to do since he looks after everybody BUT himself. Isn’t too thrilled with MC’s more rigorous activities that give her injuries, but LOVES MC’s dancing since he can feel her happiness and see her coordinated movements that put him in a dazzled trance. MC will often conveniently “forget” all her 2 person dances, asking Hideyoshi to be her dance partner to help her (they secretly use it as an excuse to be close to eachother 😉)

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen hc #ikesen kenshin #ikesen shingen #ikesen hideyoshi

[taejeonie]

what if taehyuck dated...

taehee is jeno in the gif okay

i could see hyuck having a small crush on taehee during mmc

so he was like :// whenever they would fight

and really :DD when they make up

it would disappear during debut ofc cause u gotta stay focused!!

but then i guess his feelings came back during ‘boom’ era

at first he thought that he was only missing her bc she’s not in dream anymore BUT

she came over while they were in the waiting room with some food after they performed

so they were just talking and doing normal teenager stuff and catching up

and hyuck was staring at taehee with like heart eyes that renjun had to snap him out of it

casually, he pulled taehee to his lap and placed his chin on her shoulder

all of them were like “yeah this is normal” and carried on with the conversation

so hyuck decided to just do a l i g h t scan of her face

like very quick

but he took his time looking at every. feature.

like the sweat dripping of her forehead bc the ac isn’t on

the way her eyes go slightly big when she got interested at what jaemin was about to tell her

or how her fingers play with his hair at the back of his head out of habit

“were her lips always this cute? they look so soft. i-“

and then it hits him like OH NO I LIKE HER OMGNRJFKSJ I LIKE TAEHEE NOONA

“excuse me, i need to go to the bathroom”

so taehee gets off his lap while still talking to jaemin

while hyuck goes to the bathroom to calm down

inhale exhale inhale exhale

boom he’s back to liking her again

but stronger (부딪칠수록 더 stronger)

i feel like dream would know

like renjun would be the first to notice, then it would be a slip of the tongue around jaemin and jeno

and then i feel like jaemin would tell chenji like it’s no big deal

“BUT YOU HAVE TO BE QUIET OKAY”

“wait let me text noona real quick-“

“HEY”

so at this point dream knows

and hyuck’s contemplating whether or not he should tell mark hihi

okay mOVING ON TO TAEHEE

i feel like she does have feelings for hyuck

but she doesn’t acknowledge it

like i said, she doesn’t think about what it would be like to date the members

but then hyuck’s got a MASSIVE crush on her so i think she would pick up on it

like recently, he’s super flustered around her and that he couldn’t come up with a proper come back during playful banters

or that he’s super clingy than before but now he won’t admit it

“haechan, you’re so clingy nowadays. you like me, don’t you?”

“huh??? what, of course not!! why would i,” then he stands up and walks out of the room without another word

and that she keeps catching hyuck staring at her before quickly looking away

she’d find it cute, maybe a little funny

i think she would talk about it with mark bc she was suuuuuper curious

but in reality she just wants to know bc deep inside,,,she liked him too

“mark?”

“hm?”

“do you think,,haechan likes me?”

“of course he does! why would you ask that?”

“no no,,like ‘like like’ me. you get it?”

“oh? i don’t...i haven’t thought about it. why? do you ‘like like’ him?”

“....maybe- i don’t know :((“

and mark’s like :00

“oh okk, don’t worry. i gotchu”

taehee: ?????

lowkey got scared bc mark acted weird

but she trusts him enough that he won’t do anything out of the ordinary

so later on, mark texts hyuck bc he has a mission

mission: find out if hyuck likes taehee

to lee donghyuckie: hey

to lee donghyuckie: are you not telling me something?

from lee donghyuckie: i don’t know what you’re talking about ...

to lee donghyuckie: do you like taehee?

mark had to wait for a few minutes before hyuck sent a reply

from lee donghyuckie: hyung

from lee donghyuckie: i really really like her.

from lee donghyuckie: what do i do?

then he sent something similar to a rabbit crying sticker, making mark laugh

“cute~”

“who’s cute?,” taehee asked

“uhh oh nothing”

to lee donghyuckie: if you really like her that much, then i think you should go for it

to lee donghyuckie: you know well enough about how your decisions could affect the both of you

to lee donghyuckie: but i think the both of you would be careful about this

to lee donghyuckie: whatever your choice is, we’ll all be here to support you

on the other end of the line, hyuck was so touched

he’s so greatful for his members he was really moved

so bc of mark’s encouragement (+ a bit of jaemin’s pestering), he finally made his decision

from lee donghyuckie: okay then. i’ll go for it. what should i do?

so after talking with mark and the rest of the dreamies over food and drinks

“noona do you want to come-“ “JISUNG!! SORRY NOONA ITS BOYS NIGHT”

their plan was just for hyuck to go along with taehee’s antics bc she’ll cave in eventually (according to mark)

“but what if she doesn’t?”

“then you do it!!! stop being a coward- OW”

lmao renjun u try confessing to ur crush ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

so for a few damn weeks

hyuck went along with whatever taehee’s got under her sleeve

and they flirted back and forth

they’re never not joined by the hip during schedules together

cheek kisses became more frequent

hyuck kept cooking for her and then they would eat together <3

a way through a woman’s heart is truly through the stomach

i feel like whenever taehee would be affectionate towards the other members hyuck would get jealous

so when she’s ‘free’ already, he goes to her and sticks beside her for the rest of the day

hyuck was about to give up tbh bc it seemed like there wasn’t any progress

“just wait,” mark said

so he did

they were playing games one time and hyuck kept on getting distracted he wasn’t doing as well as he’s supposed to

“haechanie!!”

his heart skipped a beat at the nickname even if he’s heard her call him that a thousand times already, “hm?”

“you’re not playing well! is something bothering you?”

“...no”

she doesn’t bother him after that for the rest of the game

while they were waiting for another round to start,,,taehee decided that she’ll do it now

she’ll confess and hope that hyuck wasn’t playing with her all this time and that he was genuinely interested in her

taehee’s nerves got the best of her so her character died in the game

“noona!!! you left me all alone”

“good luck then. i’ll be spectating you, don’t worryyy”

she said it in a really cute way that it made hyuck press a wrong key and almost die

minutes passed and they were about to win yayayay

but taehee hasn’t said anything yet

so she takes a deep breath and sends a text to mark

to markly <3: i’m gonna do it

“ʰᵃᵉᶜʰᵃⁿⁱᵉ”

“m?”

“i...really...like you...like a lot-“

hyuck freezes

“and i don’t know if you really mean what you’ve been doing and saying for the past weeks...or if you’re just going along with me. i was trying to make it obvious so i’m wondering if you wanted to go out with me....?”

“game over”

“HAECHANIE WE JUST LOST WHAT WERE YOU DOING?”

“YOU DISTRACTED ME HOW CAN I FOCUS”

their monitors go back to the lobby as silence lingered on both ends

“lee donghyuck, say something!! my pride’s already hurt...”

.....

“ah i knew i shouldn’t have-“

“noona”

“hmm?”

“i’m kinda,,,bummed out”

“w-what why?”

“because you asked first”

taehee felt a smile creep up her face before letting out a small laugh

“noona, do you want to go out with me?”

“hEY! THAT’S NOT FAIR!! I ASKED FIRST”

hyuck can sense her pout through the speaker so he gives in instead

shut up hyuck ur just whipped

“okay okay!! i’ll go out with you~”

their first date was in a secluded movie theater

like you know that movie theater idols go to for dates? that one

and then they ate out after

HIHIHSISJDJSJ

i feel like all the members and managers would know

especially because the pair’s so smiley and clingy and in jisung’s words, lovey-dovey around each other

so when each of them got home the members teased them

johnny to hyuck and markwoo to taehee

I FEEL LIKE THEY WOULD KISS A LOT LIKE A LOT LOT as if the cheek kisses aren’t a giveaway

their first kiss would go like this

they were playing games and you know they’re both competitive

so like they strike deals

the “if i win you do this that blah blah”

so hyuck was gonna ask for a kiss (*^▽^*)

and taehee was too

but she couldn’t help herself

so mid-game,,,she put her phone on the nightstand and grabbed hyuck’s face to connect their lips

hyuck was surprised at first,,,then he eased on to it

like “wow i’m finally kissing the girl of my dreams”

they lowkey forgot about the game

lowkey made out on hyuck’s bed

hyuck got so smug istg

when they pulled away to catch their breaths, the first thing that came out of hyuck’s mouth was

“you couldn’t resist me, couldn’t you?,” earning a slap to his chest

but hyuck made up for it with more kisses!!! (≧∀≦)

the members would find it SO cute whenever hyuck was a lil jealous

“ahh you guys keep going out,,we never see you both anymore,” yuta chuckled as he put an arm around taehee

“hYUUNG!”

yuta chuckled as he pulled his arm away, “ah right right,,she’s your girlfriend now (＾ν＾)”

“MY GIRLFRIEND”

but he doesn’t get like jealous jealous dw it never gets out of hand it’s just for fun

i feel like the members would help them on dates too,,esp taeyong

i could see taeyong be so into this like he’d go

“OH IF YOU WANNA GO OUT YOU SHOULD BRING ALONG THE OTHER MEMBERS SO IT WON’T LOOK SUSPICIOUS AND THEN YOU COULD GO YOUR WAYS SEPARATELY AND THEN-“

“TAEYONG OPPA SLOW DOWN”

but then there’s this moment where he just sits in between them and puts his arm around his shoulders saying, “you better be careful, okay? (⌒▽⌒)”

hmm i imagine taehee asking hyuck to do her eye makeup

bc hyuck’s eye make up is so pretty sHUT UP

so he’d do it in taehee’s room

eventually leading to them making out again

“OH MY GOD”

from then on, mark makes it a point to knock before entering a room

when they were recording kick it,,hyuck was waiting for his turn in the studio alone

it was supposed to be taehee’s but she wasn’t there yet bc she had to help produce for other groups

and it was cold cause it was JANUARY OKAY

so when taehee came in the studio wearing a shirt, jeans, and a thin jacket

hyuck’s like, “why are you wearing that? it’s cold”

“my friend gave me this i wanna wear them :((“

so hyuck took off his jacket in exchange for taehee’s

it was his anyways

he would wait for her to finish recording and would take her out after

“what do you want to eat?”

“chicken!!!”

“anything for my babyyy”

taehee would love holding his hand

like the feeling of his fingers in between hers just makes her heart go boom boom

bonus points if hyuck squeezes them from time to time and let’s her play with his hand

he found it cute when all of his rings transferred to her fingers

“you know i have to return that to the stylists, right?”

“yeah but this one’s yours so :>>>”

hyuck gets them matching rings for their five months anniversary

dude i think they’ll just be plain out obvious

like there’s so many moments of them during kick it era that czennies think of it as ‘out of context moments’ but it wasn’t the case to taehyuck

like taehee straddling hyuck on the floor of their practice room

mark: oKAYYYYY

or whenever they shout randomly about each other off-screen

“JUNGWOO HYUNG SHE SAID NO :((“

“IT WAS JUST A JOKE- OW TAEYONG OPPA HE BIT MY NECK”

but czennies just brush it off as like “tHey’Re bOtH aFfEcTiOnAtE fRIeNDs”

some of them really really really want to date

don’t worry, they are, they’re just not ready to put it out there ;))

taehee was hyuck’s #1 supporter during reload era

would compliment his facial expressions when they were recording their reaction for their mv

“HIS EYES LOOK AT HIS EYES KFKSKFKSKD”

‘quiet down’ being her favorite song bc hyuck sounded so sexy

when hyuck came home after ridin’s first win the first thing taehee did was kiss him sweetly

hyuck pecked her cheek when she pulled away (*´꒳`*)

jisung and chenle: EWWWW T_T

if johnny’s not in the room they would dance together

but then there are intimate moments where they’re just swaying to the music, taehee’s arms wrapped around hyuck’s neck and the his arms around her waist

would kiss the side of her head from time to time

and when their feet get kinda tired,,they get ready for bed and sleep next to each other

there are times where hyuck falls asleep first and taehee would lie awake, adoring him

and vice versa

THEY’RE IN LOVE OKAY (>_<)

most of the time taehee would be the small spoon

vlives with just the two of them would be their thing

i mean it already was,,anyways

hyuck decided to be dangerous in this one vlive

he would tuck a strand of taehee’s hair behind her ear

would kiss his fingers and boop them on taehee’s nose

would interlace their fingers together

markleeswatermelons i want to confess to my crush but i don’t know how. what should i do?

“‘i want to confess to my crush but i don’t know how. what should i do?’ ahhh noona is really good at that!! right?”

then hyuck found it really funny bc taehee’s looking at him like ‘wtf are you doing’

“come onnn!!! tell them!!”

“....”

“you have to help czennies!! hihihi”

taehee took a bite of her sandwich in reluctance

“hhhhhh uhhh,,you should just go for it, honestly. make sure you get to say everything you want to tell that person, and don’t be afraid if you think things won’t go your way. it’s part of the process,,you’ll find the right person one day :)) but if it does go well then congratulations!!! we’ll be cheering for you hehe”

the whole time hyuck’s just looking at her with heart eyes it melts mah hart <//3

taeheesunshine taehee please take care of me!! >.<

“‘taehee please take care of me’, of course i will take care of you? did you eat yet? i’ll cook for you :>>”

“noona seems like the one to take care of us and to baby us all the time,,but she really really really...”

hyuck takes a peak at taehee’s nervous expression and laughs

“she really really likes being babied. really-“

“WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD SAY AFTER THIS”

“IT’S TRUE HAHAHAHA....don’t worry, it’s cute ;))”

hyuck tops in this relationship

in conclusion, taehyuck would be the couple everyone would adore and take care of!! the members tease them from time to time but nevertheless supportive of them!!

“just know that we played a part in this”

“CHENLE!!”

“yeah, haechan was a chicken so we had to rely on you”

“H U A N G R E N J U N”

although they’re a very outright and clingy couple, i feel like no one from the outside would suspect 

sure there are those suspicious fans 

but they’ll still hide it really well :>>

hyuck finally gets to spend a lifetime with his first and last <33

“yes”

“yes..?”

“you said you’re gonna marry me in the future,,,,i gave you my answer already”

hyuck chuckled and kissed the corner of her mouth 

they really do love each other 

“you’re so cute,” he says, before capturing her lips in a sweet kiss

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #wayv #nct au #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct blurbs #nct reactions #nct female member #nct 22nd member #nct female addition #kpop female addition #nct haechan #haechan imagines #haechan blurbs #haechan scenarios #haechan au #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #haechan angst #mark lee imagines #renjun imagines #jeno imagines #jaemin imagines #jisung imagines #chenle imagines #nct angst