#what does a 15 year old know about ''narcissistic god i love it'' and making sacrifices for love like

[annbourbon]

Disclaimer: First things first, because it needs to be said, I am not catholic or christian. But! I grew up in between both communities, and they made me study the bible, superficially, just to make their point.

My parents allowed me to grew up reading fairytales and stuff that would never ever be dreamed lol so things like witchcraft, paganism, hinduism, buddhism, among other things and luckily the schools I went didn't care about it enough because they gave money to them. Yeah, very much like gossip girl. You can really get away with a lot of things if you throw enough money. So:

1. This post, is not meant to be religious.

2. I study literature and art. I'm supposed to read this book as part of my studies. But because of my years at school were a complete torture, I decided to create these notes to have fun while I'm at it. Otherwise I don't think I'll be able to finish it.

3. This post doesn't pretend to attack on any kind of beliefs displayed here. I just want to rationalize it. I'm still a firm believer that if there's a god, that god loves us no matter what we do: And there's no hell.

Let's go through Genesis together...

Genesis 3:17 KJV - 17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

So basically God creates all. Makes them similar and then punishes them for doing something he would have done. But he knows it all. Suuure kiddo. 🙄

Genesis 4:15-17 KJV - .

16 And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.

Either his wife is Lilith or Eve. If it's Eve means he committed incest(?)

Also, why does the Lord forsakens Cain, Adam and Eve if he is supposed to forgive it all??? 😭

Genesis 5:7 KJV - And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:

They are freaking vampires 😱🤣

Genesis 5:26 KJV - And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

pls stawwp 😭💀 the whole chapter brings nothing to the plot.

Genesis 6:7 KJV

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

Psycho killer God enters scene.. so far he was only narcissist 😳

Genesis 6:12 KJV - And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

B-but we're supposed to be like youuuuu 😭🤣🤣 I think he hates himself way too much, we're not that bad. 👀

Genesis 6:14 KJV - Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

So much for being a favourite of the Lord lol he makes you work like there's no tomorrow.. oh wait~~ lol

Genesis 6:15 KJV - this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

ummm god.... shall i show you this youtube video i found where it's proven that this is impossible based on the physics you gave to this planet???

Genesis 6:16 KJV - A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it

They're gonna die of stinkinness because of everyone's poop 😭😭 so nooooo pleaaaasee. What have they done to you? Weren't they your favorite family and all that?... forgive me father for i have sinned but don't make me your favorite please(?)

Genesis 7:6 KJV - And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

So he was really young uh? 💀

Genesis 7:8 KJV

Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,

wdym clean and not clean? take a shower before entering the Ark pls😭😭

Genesis 7:13 KJV

In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

can't stop thinking about termites, woodpeckers, and poop 🙊😵

must be really stinky there 😬💩

Genesis 8:4 KJV

And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

they could have just moved on to another place lol apparently the flood wasn't everywhere. 🥴😶

Genesis 8:5 KJV

And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

The mountains must be like.... not that high.

Genesis 8:6 KJV

And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

😳 you're telling me he survived all that poop!?

Genesis 8:17 KJV

Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.

This guy sounds like he's a vouyerist tbh 😶

(Genesis - First 4 chapters)

Narcissistic/Bipolar God: I created y'all. You're like me. Obbey me. Love me. I'm leaving this cookie here! ^♡^

>.> don't touch or eat it.

...you ate it!?!?

I hate y'all cuz you don't do what I say. Go away....

... Where are you going? What are you doing? 👀😭😭 don't leave me.

(Genesis - chapter 5 to 8)

Psycho Killer God: let's make a terrarium. let's kill them all by flooding everything.

(Genesis - Chapter 8)

Genesis 8:21 KJV

And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

Vouyerist God: Okay, now let me watch you while you have sex 😀🧐

*they start cooking and God smells smth*

What is that smell? There's pie!? is it for meeeee???

Genesis 9:1 KJV

And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Vouyerist God: 'Kay I killed your kind, but chill dude! Now let me watch ya having sex 👀🍿

Genesis 9:3 KJV

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

God: You can kill too!! ^♡^

Genesis 9:4 KJV

But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

God: I don't like Hannibal 😒 Don't be like Hannibal!! Or I'll kill ya 😇

Genesis 9:5 KJV

And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.

Vampire God: Ohhh BTW I'm a vampire *reveals*

Noah: 😳

Genesis 9:29 KJV

And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

i~~ another vampire I see 😀

Genesis 10:15-17 KJV - And Canaan begat Sidon his firstborn, and Heth,

16 And the Jebusite, and the Amorite, and the Girgasite, 17 And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite,

Where do they get all these names? O.o The person narrating this one must have been obsessed with names ._.

I mean... I understand because I have lists with thousands of names because duhh i'm a writer too. But seriously??? Why do I need so many names when IDGF about them cuz next line they're already dead. Show me smth more interesting pls 😭😬

Genesis 10:25 KJV

And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of one was Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided; and his brother's name was Joktan.

Peleg 😳 is he the same one that likes sports?? idk if it was football soccer or basketball tho... 🤔🤔

Genesis 11:3 KJV

And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

Random thought but we should make a Musical/Slime Tutorial about The Babel Tower

Babel Slime Tutorial~~ ^♡^

Genesis 11:6 KJV

And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Genesis 11:7-9 KJV - Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

He wants us to reach to him. To call. To go with him. To be with him. But as soon as one wants that as well he changes his mind. And then he questions us whyyyyy we're forgetting about him...

ummm what is it called~?

Well, whatever... he's sick. 😶🥴

Needs a psychiatrist.

I still need to finish this but... so far those are my notes... please don't hate me 😅

#reading list #bible funny #bible

[vyvesvi]

so i don't really pay much attention to music videos when i do my yearly kpop reviews because tbh i usually only watch them when they drop but for this year, if i make that list love dive will definitely be on it

#ive #the song is good too bur the mv actually improves the song significantly for me #i feel like itll be one of those ones where i start listening to the song on apple music but then have to go and watch the mv instead #namely bc the songs been out less than an hour and ive already done that three times #vyvesvi's year #this cupid school meets pg jennifers body concept needed a larger rollout and a larger album #not to be dramatic but i want a concept film like this is so good #i do think its weird with their ages though tbh #like no hate to them but i wish a slightly older gg had this concept so they could go all in #bc not to be rude but. the girls are too young to internalize the lyrics theyre singing imo #like theyre honest to god serving but. #what does a 15 year old know about ''narcissistic god i love it'' and making sacrifices for love like #ss kinda weird for this #having their older gg doing the mystical concept (which i love ofc) and their younger gg do mature right from debut is wild

[creatingnikki]

What 2020 has taught me

1. Those things that seem like content for sci fi or pure fiction are actually things that can happen. To the entire world. Like a pandemic. And to you. Like a seizure.

2. Everyone is sad. Everyone is struggling. In different ways and in different measures. Makes no one special. But you still get to feel sad for yourself and be compassionate towards others. But it's also okay to draw boundaries because you're everyone too. Remember, not special? You're sad and trying to deal with it too.

3. Every job you have will not add value to your life. It will not teach you new things or give you people you'll want to stay in touch with. Sometimes some jobs will only be a season of your life. Even if the season lasts for over a year. It's okay.

4. You know how you thought picking a college and picking a major and picking your first job and picking a specific industry were all the career decisions you had to make? Yeah, no. It's never a one time thing. You could have a job as a marketing strategist for two years and then want nothing to do with it. And then you'll have to make another decision and work towards it. So I'd like to call it moves. It's like chess. You always have to make a move. And it always has to be strategic, yes. But the truth is in your 20s it probably won't. Even if you try. And as long as you're trying, you'll be fine.

5. You may have different sorts of friends like the one you only talk to about kdrama with or the one you met when you went book shopping alone and the friendship is all about books really. That's normal. But irrespective of why and how you became friends with them, if you consider them a friend then there has to be this basic sense of care, respect and empathy for each other. I don't care what people want to say. If you're faced with the worst trauma of your life, the least your friends can do is check up on you regularly. On text. And if they don't even do that then guess what? They aren't friends. They are acquaintances. Social media and quick promises make everyone seem like your friend. But they are not. They are just nice people who will be nice to you for specific periods and then wander away like you are a speck of dust floating in their journey.

6. You speak a lot and write and you express yourself and you’re emotionally mature but oh my god. You still hold in so much. You’ve known that at a subconscious level and over the last year people - experts - have told you that. You have also realized that you make your pain and sadness about pettier things because dealing with them, admitting about them, sharing that with your friends, is easier. You do that so that you don’t have to deal with the real stuff. Because it’s so damn painful. And you don’t know how to do it. Yet. Acknowledging is the first step anyway right? I know you’re confused about how exactly to let go of all this pain and sadness and feel lighter, and you know that talking to people really isn’t the solution, but I also know you’re smart enough to figure it out. 

7. Talking about being smart...you know you’re different than others. Better. Special. Smarter. None of these are the right words. And you never voiced this out until this year because you knew it would make you come across as narcissistic. Some would say it’s because you’re an INFJ. But my mother once said that this may be the first time we are consciously living life but our souls are old and so our instinct and the things we know but can’t explain are because this isn’t the first time for our souls. The connections we feel with certain people, the reason we are so different from our siblings who grew up in the exact same environment with the exact same opportunities, our sense of right and wrong...it’s all because our souls learn and grow with each time and that’s why we are who we are. I think that’s probably how I can explain what I have always felt. That I am living in a different universe than everybody but I have to pretend to be in this one and dumb my emotions and thoughts down. Maybe that’s because my soul has lived through thousands of years while most around me are living their 100th life. Or maybe I’m just narcissistic, who knows?

8. You shift between talking in first person and second person but that’s because that’s how you think in your head and talk to yourself and live your life. You ask yourself things and you accuse yourself of things and you apologize to yourself and you comfort yourself. I think that seeps into your writing and the changing of the voices. 

9. You always genuinely thought that you’d not be afraid of dying. And then what happened this October proved you shockingly wrong. I know it’s not so much being afraid of dying but the unbearable pain of knowing what that would mean to your family. So you have to be more prudent and less reckless with your life and the choices you make. 

10. Regret is not something that plagued you but this year the realisation and pain of giving away your favourite books from your own personal collection to people you care about as a show of affection and them turning out to be ass holes or losers has hit you so hard. So, yes. No more of that shit. I really fucking want my copy of The Perks Of Being A Wallflower back. UGH. With the childhood picture of me inside it! 

11. Sleeping at 5 am in the morning stops being fun or romanticised when you realise just how much harm it does to your body and mind. Literally every single disease and disorder can be traced back to a shitty fucking sleep schedule. It’s not just the hours you sleep but also the quality of sleep and the time you sleep at. So yes sleeping for 8 hours is healthy but not if that 8 hours is from 5 am to 12 pm. ‘Not a morning person’ is just another construct of capitalism and you don’t realise how many industries profit from having you believe that and staying up late or all night. Entertainment. Food. Alcohol. Pharma. Biologically and naturally you are a bloody morning person. And you don’t need 3 cups of coffee to begin your day or your phone notifications to get you to open your eyes and brain to wake up. 

12. Sometimes you really have to stop taking people so seriously. I know the idea of treating people as casual friends or entertainment makes you want to fight that concept but you know what? Some people like Pineapple are ever only going to be good for that. No matter how much they ‘grow and change’. So keep them in the background for whenever you want some entertainment or drama. But please don’t clear up your busy schedule to meet them or send them gifts on their birthday. 

13. If you don’t have the fruit juice or green juice within half an hour of making it then you are losing out on its most optimum health benefits. Or when you remove the white stringy stuff from oranges. That’s where all the actual nutrients are.

14. I am privileged and so are most of the people I interact with. The global pandemic has been hell for a lot of people around the world. Health wise. Financially. Losing people they care about. But I was blessed enough to be safe at home and have a job that I could smoothly do from home and not have a pay cut or 4-hour long Zoom meetings. So honestly when my friends tell me 2020 has been bad I have to stop and ask them why? Yes, the crippling uncertainty and anxiety is not something that can be undermined. But most people I know had very great positive life-changing milestones this year like moving away to another country for college or taking their first solo trip or getting married. So I have to ask them. Because I am not going to agree that everybody’s 2020 and pandemic narrative is the same. 

15. Money gets spent really quickly. When I left my job earlier this year because of personal issues, I thought I had enough savings to last me a year. Full disclosure - I mean to last my personal expenses because I live with my parents. But it didn’t even last me 3 months. And so to use money wisely and buy things that provide utility than instant gratification is something to follow. Also buying one pair of really expensive but quality shoes is better than buying 5 pairs of affordable but low quality shoes that will have a very short life and force you to buy more. I know that higher price doesn’t always mean better quality but sometimes it does. And as an adult now I want to do the whole quality > quantity thing even with things and not just people. 

16. Everyone in their 20s went through a crisis of what they should do with their lives and their careers and it’s not unique to the 21st century and the challenges of today. Whether it was Vincent Van Gogh in the 19th century or Sylvia Plath in the 20th, every single person, as brilliant as them went through the torture of making these decisions and living with their consequences. You may think I picked wrong examples for they both killed themselves but you know what? They were the people who really want to live more than anyone. They knew what life meant. And maybe if mental health help was more accessible back then their lives would be longer and more peaceful. 

17. Telling people everything is overrated. You don’t have to talk about every single thing that’s on your mind or that’s going on in your life. The good and the bad and the mediocre. You have to be mindful about how much of yourself you’re giving away. 

18. Re-watch Suits when people at work feel intimidating because the confidence + negotiation tactics that they show can actually work irl cos at the end of the day no matter in what position you’re dealing with people who have emotions and fears and insecurities and desires. You understand how to leverage that nobody can get the better of you. 

19. You belong to yourself. No matter how much you love someone or how much they have done for you or how much you owe them - you belong to yourself. You can’t live your life for someone else. Everyone belongs to themselves first. No relationship, no promise, no circumstance should make you feel like you have to give up your life and make it all about them. If and when the time comes to die for them, go ahead. Take a bullet. Donate that kidney. Write them in your will. But live your life for yourself. And let them live theirs. 

20. Twenty three was a challenging year. When it started you claimed the age 23 sounds boring and insignificant. Guess it proved you wrong. It hurt so much now. But that only means you’ll look back on it later and see how it added so much wisdom and resilience to your being. It doesn’t mean that it makes all the bad things that happened to you okay. Or that you should be grateful to them. Fuck no. It means that you should be kinder to yourself because at the end of the day, your mind and body find it in themselves to deal with whatever is thrown their way. They have your back. It’s time you learn to sit straight. 

#what i learned in 2020 #poeticstories #writerscreed #poetryportal #inkstay #writtenconsiderations #flowerais #wnq writers #shareaquote #note to self #things to learn #things to remember #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #words to live by #books and libraries #self realisation #self reflection #year end reflection #year end review #end of the year #new year new me #New Year Resolutions #Career choices #vincent van gogh #sylvia plath #2020 #creatingnikki

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Skwisgaar's Psychology

After rewatching Metalocalypse a total of three times ever since the news of the potential finale movie I kind of had a realization; I really fucking love Skwisgaar. I also started by halfway through rewatch two realized that his story and background and general psychology is really fucking fascinating to me.

So I am going to do my best to discuss his character and his psychology and how we see him progress through the show....I already did this with Toki a while back and kind of would love to do it with Murderface and maybe Pickles as well, I'd say Nathan, but he's the....least fucked up in a sense.

Skwisgaar let's start has the most dialogue in the first couple of seasons of the show and even then it isn't overwhelming compared to the other members of the band. By season four he speaks very little and rarely.

When we are introduced to him in the beginning of the show he seems to be like the rest of the group; a diva spoiled rich rocker who has been grossly wealthy for so long that he's forgotten how to function as a human.

You also with the first season especially have this running gag that isn't even a running gag that Skwisgaar or Toki will say something weird and then the other will add onto it and they just say weird shit about life and death or the violence of man, it's weird, and strangely endearing.

Which speaking of how those two play off each other brings me to the fact the pilot episode immediately establishes that these two are almost always together. The band goes to a grocery store and everybody splits up, except for Skwisgaar and Toki who go off together when in all reality that isn't remotely necessary. We also learn in that first episode that Skwisgaar gets pissed when Toki teases him and calls him a woman despite Skwisgaar calling him one like a second earlier and also that Skwisgaar is sexually attracted to elderly women.

Two things are heavily associated with Skwisgaar as a character; he is extremely sexually active and he's got his guitar with him in 99% of scenes. Skwisgaar also doesn't appear to be the most talkative, he can be bitchy and throw tantrums like the rest of his bandmates, but also seems to be more prone to crying and becoming anxious or worried for his friends and their wellbeing/safety, in terms of socializing he seems to be a bit awkward and seems the most comfortable communicating through sex and music. He's teasing and can be a dick, but there's no real edge to it. He also while seeming in some regards to be a bit....dumb to be blunt about it seems to actually be rather smart, though often seems to just keep that to himself probably because he knows who his friends are and they aren't prone to listening to people.

Season one wasted no time in introducing the band's parents and this included Skwisgaar's mother, Serveta. One thing that I do find super interesting is that he is the only member of the band who comes from a single mother, technically it isn't interesting, but the theory (probably canon) that their fathers aren't really their fathers at all and that their mothers became pregnant by the Deth Star makes it interesting. To me at least.

With Skwisgaar's mom in regards to the first season of the show we quickly learn that their relationship is strained. She's an older woman who just like Skwisgaar is very sexually active, we see her come onto Nathan's father who is married and sitting with his wife and son, Skwisgaar's reaction to this is to get upset and begin frantically playing his guitar. Skwisgaar spends a good portion of this episode drinking and at one point saying that ever since his mom got there his stomach had been hurting and he'd just been feeling like absolute shit. When we see him bonding with his mom he's brushing her hair and looking like he'd rather be dead or any place else, seeing him helping her groom is weirdly a red flag to me.

We learn by the third season of the show that his mother is intensely vain and in love with herself, she resents Skwisgaar because being pregnant with him and giving birth to him ruined her 'perfect' body and I'm sure the years where he was too young to fend for himself annoyed her because it meant she couldn't party or have men over or run off whenever she wanted, something I get the feeling that changed when he was about ten years of age. In a bonus video that comes with the first season of the show you see interviews with the band on various random topics; one of the scenes that is...uncomfortable to say the least is when family is brought up. Skwisgaar begins to say something, but trails off and becomes visibly upset before saying he's just going to shut down for a while, Toki confesses some more physical abuse before also shutting down.

I'm going to take a guess that Skwisgaar only had his mother when he was growing up and she only had him, I'm sure she has parents and maybe even siblings and aunts and uncles, but it appears that she has absolutely no relationship with them and Skwisgaar most probably never met these people.

The walls of Serveta's home sport dozens of headshots of herself and a couple of pictures of Skwisgaar as a kid thrown up by the front door almost as an after thought. It's likely and most probable that Skwisgaar was thrusted into the position of caretaker and even a husband sort of position when it came to his relationship with his mom; given the task of looking after her, holding her hair back when she pukes after a night of drinking, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. We know when he was about ten or thirteen years old he came home from school to find his mom having sex with two men, an event that scared him and led to him being chased by wolves and falling into a pit where if he weren't a demi-god he legit would have died. I feel like his mom reached a point with him where she stopped caring whether or not he saw her....personal life, perceiving him as an adult despite still just being a boy and also seeing him as somebody who is taking up space in her home and preventing her from having fun.

When she marries Tyr they're all over each other constantly....until Skwisgaar and Tyr become friends and begin spending time together, then she cheats on him. She was jealous that her latest man wasn't giving her constant attention and got angry at the concept of sharing him with her own child, which is super fucked up.

Skwisgaar throughout the show has a fake persona. He likes to pretend he in some way is like his mom; he likes to pretend he has his head up his own ass and doesn't need anybody but himself, he loves himself more than he could ever love another person. Which isn't true. At all.

I think that growing up with a narcissistic parent who emotionally neglected and emotionally abused him put him in a position where he had to shut down like that. He had to learn at a very young age that crying and yelling and being angry gets nothing done except maybe piss his mom off more, after finding his guitar he threw himself into music and appeared to shut himself off socially, preferring music over human interactions.

Music is something that Skwisgaar can rely on no matter what happens; he will always have a guitar, he will always be able to create music even if it is just for himself and nobody else. People come and go, people physically hurt you, people emotionally hurt you, or make you feel worthless. When we see the flashback to the night Magnus was kicked out of Dethklok Skwisgaar is faded into the background, almost like a ghost with his slumped shoulders and his hair curtaining his face as if he wants to just disappear. When they're auditioning for a replacement Skwisgaar is positive he doesn't want somebody else in the band, that they are fine just being four.

I think it comes from the fact he was terrified of repeating what just happened with Magnus, finding somebody he might think he can bond with over music only for that person to turn into a monster who makes him feel like he can't even do the thing he loves more than anything correctly....Then Toki came in and when they had their duel it quickly turned from a competition into a conversation. Because that's the one way Skwisgaar knows how to communicate, the way he is the most comfortable with; he likes to communicate through guitar and finding somebody who he could speak to through music excited him.

It's clear for obvious age related reasons that Skwisgaar has/had a care taker role where Toki is concerned. I mean he was about 15/16 when Skwisgaar took him into the band so he was a literal child, even when he's older Skwisgaar still looks out for him and is in his own sense immensely protective where he's concerned. Skwisgaar is also that way with the rest of the band even if it's more subtle. He worries about his bandmates, if they get injured or nearly killed it bothers him and he doesn't want anything to happen to them. When the band is going to break up he completely shuts down, because admit to it or not they had become the only family he ever had. I think Skwisgaar is so hard wired from his childhood to care for people that it's something he can't shake and maybe with the band he doesn't feel its a bad habit, because unlike with his mom, his bandmates arent forcing him to look after them. It's something he does because he wants to do it.

Of course in regards to his attraction to older women that definitely comes from issues relating to his mother....I don't think it's in a creepy Freud way, but more so just wanting to feel cared for back. Very obviously he can't exactly approach any of his bandmates and ask for a hug....well except maybe Toki and Pickles if he's super drunk or high, but outside of those two instances....they aren't people he could exactly just ask for validation or comfort or consolation. They aren't....good with that shit. Older women though usually have a tendency to be coddling and kind, Skwisgaar probably learned that as a teen or in his twenties, I think it's less about the sex factor and just feeling important. In terms of sex with people closer to him in age (I will die on the hill that he's bisexual, because he keeps just throwing it out there that he would blow a guy and he had multiple three ways with Melmord) I think it's a distraction for the most part, he uses sex the same way he often uses music, and honestly....He grew up seeing his mother have men over constantly.

Skwisgaar didn't grow up seeing love or healthy relationships, he saw his mom parade various men through the house and maybe she kept some of them for a while and I doubt the relationships were healthy and I'm sure he knew that his mother didn't love any man she dated or married for a short while. Even in the show he isn't fond of love or marriage, the only time he dates somebody is when he moves back to Sweden and finally starts to get his life together in a more healthy sense and that relationship didn't feel like it was based on sex. It was based on physical and emotional affection and it was the only time Skwisgaar ever looked actually happy in terms of intimacy.

Sex is a job, a chore for him; he's the God of Life so it's technically what....it's y'know his thing, creating life. As a lot of people notice....he seems far more sexually active after him and Toki's second fight in regards to music and petty bull shit. Season four is essentially the season where Salacia gets what he wanted aka the band tearing itself apart and you can see them all fall apart individually. For Skwisgaar falling apart means closing himself off, throwing himself more into his guitar and more into sex. He becomes more of a tool and an object as if that's all he wants to be, because being a person who opens yourself up and lets people in and tries to care about people ends up with you being hurt, badly.

Which does bring things back to his super complicated slightly homoerotic to the point even the show had to mention it for a hot second relationship with Toki.

We can gather from Doomstar that Toki was far more into music when he first joined Dethklok which I think worked out great for Skwisgaar, because as I said before; Skwisgaar communicates through music and this gave him somebody that he could talk to without the awkwardness of verbally conversing.

Though that changed clearly and you can feel that Skwisgaar is bothered by it, like in some weird way it feels like a minor betrayal. Toki notoriously never practices or puts in a lot of effort in terms of making music which Skwisgaar often comments on, complains about, or gets on him about. Reasonable. Guitar is part of who he is, but at the end of the day a talent that made him rich, that's what it is to Toki.....Skwisgaar on the other hand his guitar is literally an extension of himself and seeing him without a guitar in his hand for longer than a single scene gets weird.

Still despite the two of them losing the art of communicating through their music....they're close. Super fucking close. If you watch Metalocalypse and tell yourself going into the show that you're going to focus heavily on a single character or on a certain relationship you notice a ton of shit. Like you notice that Toki and Skwisgaar almost always sit together, stand together, talk over one another, finish each others weird sentences or ideas, copy each other to the point they spend an entire episode bickering like children over copying each other, and often spend their time hanging out together. Again. They're really close as if they're a single person split into two.

They're close to the point that inverse their fans just to some extent assume the two of them are fucking and madly in love and I mean I'm gonna be honest just objectively speaking here I would not be surprised to find out they have had sex before at least once or more times. Just saying.

That aside though and just sticking to the platonic here....They're close, Toki means as much to Skwisgaar as guitar does, and that's saying a lot. One big reason I want to bring up their relationship is that his relationship with Toki brings to light Skwisgaar's issues with death or more specifically death where Toki is concerned.

In season one when Toki has a bit of a breakdown and Pickles suggest they kill him, Skwisgaar looks tense and uncomfortable and says that he doesn't like the idea because it's a lot and it makes him feel not so good. In a deleted scene where the band watch Nascar together Pickles ask Toki and Skwisgaar if they were supposed to be dead or in jail or something because it's the same episode where they got shit faced and got into a high speed chase. Skwisgaar when responding about it changes the word dead/death out for sleep, stating they were supposed to be put to sleep but just had to do community service instead (Toki corrects that it was jail, not being put to sleep). In the deleted IKEA scene when Toki stressed says maybe the two of them should just kill themselves Skwisgaar immediately freaks out and later when they return to Nathan and Murderface they both look super emotionally fucked up and when Nathan ask if they had been crying Toki gets defensive and says no while Skwisgaar beginning to cry again says they had been crying. Then of course after Toki ruins Skwisgaar's reputation and becomes Magnus Jr. for a few weeks and ends up having a panic attack and making an ass of himself....Skwisgaar thinks he's having a heart attack and freaks the fuck out terrified that he's dying.

Then finally for a compilation of Skwisgaar not handling Toki dying well; in Doomstar before they go in to save Toki Skwisgaar makes the sorrowful comment that sometimes he wonders if they should have stayed a one guitar band. It isn't him being a dick, he isn't saying this isn't worth it. He's saying essentially that Toki was stabbed, kidnapped and possibly murdered and it's completely his fault; if he hadn't taken Toki in then none of this would have happened. Which immediately leads me to believe that post the funeral episode that Skwisgaar spent those months high and drunk and late at night blaming himself for Toki being taken/murdered. That's a lot of blame to put onto yourself and to say its your fault solely because a few years ago you took this kid in off the streets is honestly heart breaking.

Early on in the series there's an episode where Toki's pissed that he isn't seen as Skwisgaar's musical equal, he wants solos, and Skwisgaar turns him down. Which through the series and within that episode itself we easily learn why Skwisgaar never gives him a solo; Toki has performance anxiety and he never practices and quite honestly knows almost nothing about guitar. It's valid. Either way in this particular episode Toki gets pissed and decides he wants to take lessons, Skwisgaar offers and Toki turns him down because last time they tried...he kind of just ended up beating the shit out of Skwisgaar. (to be fair don't dump a bucket of blood on your friend's head) So he goes off and finds an elderly man to teach him how to play guitar, Murderface being a dick decides to tell Skwisgaar that Toki is super good at guitar now and.....Skwisgaar doesn't react well. He gets pissed off and has nightmares about Toki becoming better than him. He even confronts Toki and his guitar teacher and threatens to kick him out of the band. When he realizes at the end of the episode that Toki is still....really not great with music....he's chill again, everything is forgiven.

I kind of think that episode is a reason people perceived Skwisgaar as a dick or is one reason, but honestly he isn't being a dick. I mean sure, a bit, but they're all dicks. The thing is guitar is a crutch for Skwisgaar, it is super important to him and he doesn't know who he is without his guitar, without his music. So somebody else threatening to take that from him freaks him out and he reacts poorly to it.

Then we get to near the end of the show when the same issue arises except completely different. Toki again later in the series ask Skwisgaar for a solo and Skwisgaar annoyed refuses him, Toki being the mild psycho shit that he is decides to just kind of ruin his life as revenge. Again by this point in the show its kind of obvious if you actually pay attention at all that Skwisgaar keeps telling him he can't have solos because Toki never fucking practices and even in the studio Skwisgaar has to record most of the rhythm guitar parts. He's also known since Toki's audition that the kid is prone to choking up and making mistakes, so he's technically protecting him without just outright confronting him.

Toki writes a book calling out Skwisgaar as an abusive tyrant and an over dramatic bitch. Admittedly Skwisgaar is a slight diva and just like the rest of them can be a total asshole, admittedly to a lesser degree than the others. What's really fucking interesting for me personally about this episode is that Skwisgaar is catatonic and depressed for 99% of it. He doesn't speak. This starts literally the second that Toki releases his book saying that Skwisgaar abuses him, this is before Skwisgaar's career goes down the toilet, his career hadn't been impacted by this yet.

Skwisgaar falls to pieces because Toki, Toki who he's known since he was just sixteen and took in off the streets and they're always practically attached at the hip and have been since day one just released a book calling him an abusive monster.

I do have a feeling one reason this fucked him up is because he might be terrified that he's turning into Magnus without realizing it, that perhaps he has become an abusive monster and has been making Toki feel the way that Magnus made him feel towards the end of his time in Dethklok. I think there also is probably something soul crushing about the person you love platonically or otherwise referring to you very publicly as abusive. Of course all of this worsens when Skwisgaar's career begins to fall to shit, eventually towards the end when Toki is at the top of his ego trip being a prick Skwisgaar does confront him, that in itself is interesting.

Skwisgaar goes in way calmer than I would be in that situation, sure he gets pissed off as they bicker, but again he's waaayyyy fucking calmer than anybody else would be especially since Toki just yells at him through the entire conversation. Of course interestingly is that Toki perceives Skwisgaar in a way that isn't entirely true, he thinks Skwisgaar mocks him and thinks of him as nothing which isn't true at all, when he says Skwisgaar laughed at him he just responds that he never did that and he sounds slightly hurt by that. They're both hurt and none of these men are good with healthy emotions. Skwisgaar never loses his shit on him in the entire conversation, he looks like he could easily go ape shit but instead warns him that the audience will eat him alive the second he fucks up.

Which turns out to be true, Toki fucks up and people begin turning against him which leads to him having a severe panic attack. Like I mentioned before Skwisgaar thinks he's dying and tries to save him, scared out of his fucking mind at the concept of Toki dying. Which....the dude just spent several weeks treating you like garbage and calling you a monster who abuses him, if Skwisgaar was actually a shitty person then he would have laughed at him or mocked him or given him shit about this moment for years to come....but he doesn't do any of that. He is worried about saving him, probably terrified that if Toki dies then their last conversation was a fight.

Their dynamic changes a lot after this, not in a way that's overly obvious unless you watch it closely. They spend a lot less time together and what feels almost out of character initially in Dethcamp is....Skwisgaar easily going along with Murderface and bitching about Toki, because....again can't stress the Scandinavian dudes are always attached at the hip and now suddenly he's easily saying mean shit about Toki. It feels weird until you remember that not long before this they had a massive fight, Toki called him abusive and momentarily ruined his career and most likely afterwards tried to act like nothing happened at all while Skwisgaar probably wasn't capable of doing that.

Occasionally in season four Skwisgaar and Toki will sit together or stand together, still talk or have that physical closeness but it's far between and you see Toki spend a majority of his time with the toxic trio: Murderface, Rockso, and Magnus. Skwisgaar spends his time typically with Murderface and Pickles then near the end spends most of his time with Nathan.

Skwisgaar is a person who grew up in a home lacking affection and love or safety, he didn't grow up with examples of love or healthy relationships and as far as he's concerned relationships are a waste of time and energy because they all end the same.

Of course for as much as he says that, as they all say that....it's bull shit. He cares deeply about his bands and him trying to act near the end like Dethklok was just another gig it isn't, these people are his close friends and his only real family. Seeing Pickles and Nathan fall apart wrecked him and having Toki turn on him so easily gutted him. Skwisgaar is a super emotionally fragile person, he seems absolutely terrified of showing anger or aggression as if it's something he's never been comfortable with or learned when he was young gets you nowhere or perhaps there were men around who were violent and loud and it made him scared to ever be that way. He's the only one of the band we never see really lose his shit or be randomly aggressive and violent, he also strangely enough cries the most out of them canonically. People always make the assumption Toki cries a lot, but like canonically he cries waaayyyy fucking less than Skwisgaar.

I really find Skwisgaar interesting....clearly and this analysis might be a jumbled mess, but there's strangely a lot of things to unpack and things I probably didn't even touch on as much as I could have, because this is already insanely long. I have a deep appreciation of him rewatching this show now that I'm older and far more into analyzing works of fiction.

I hope that this was remotely coherent.

#metalocalypse #skwisgaar skwigelf #character analysis #character psychology

[hencethebravery]

v i c e  v e r s a

This is the extremely brief story of how a rebellious, narcissistic little whelp fell in love with a smarmy, mustachioed bureaucrat (and vice versa).

+ Agent Mobius sits in an unremarkable cubicle in an unremarkable corner of an unremarkable building in a famously remarkable city. He wakes up and pages through his old travel magazines and not infrequently spills some of his coffee all over them. His subscription expired a year or so ago, and for whatever reason he has not been able to find the time to renew it. He finishes his breakfast and walks a couple blocks (if the weather’s nice) before hopping on the train another 30 minutes to the office, where he always greets security and they sometimes greet him back.

Agent Mobius has been working for the CI division of the Internal Revenue Service for the last 15 years, and he has been maddeningly close to catching Odin, the CEO of Asgard, Inc., for about 10 of those.

He’s worked other cases of course—made an impact in a plethora of other ways (his superiors take comfort in the consistent quality of his work), but they so rarely consumed him with the same degree of ferocity as this one. And it’s not because he’s been trapped within a “will they, won’t they” cluster-cuss with Odin’s impossible son (his youngest) for about 3-4 of the 10 years mentioned.

And no, it’s not a conflict of interest; if anything, he’s undercover.

B. (”Bee”) is his favorite co-worker. He knows almost nothing about her but is completely committed to making sure that he is her favorite co-worker. He’s winning her over. Absolutely.

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say, Mobius.”

He scoffs and adjusts his belt. He has almost certainly said things dumber than that.

Mobius treats himself to salads from Sissy’s Café 2-3 times a week. They’re on the pricier side because they’re so large, which is really the only way to eat a salad, otherwise you’re still hungry and it was nothing but a waste of money and wilted lettuce. On a seasonally comfortable day he’ll grab it to-go and grab a table at a small park nearby, which is generally speaking one of the nicer parts of his day, unless of course—

“You are terribly predictable, I hope you know.”

Mobius huffs and stabs his fork into a particularly thick bit of spinach and avocado. “You say that as if you’re not, which I find hilarious.”

“Well you would, I am famously quite funny.”

He tries to ignore the fact that the code-word “Young Prince,” has finally gotten the haircut he’s so desperately needed (even more so does he try to ignore the fact that he’d been the one to suggest it). Loki is in black today (surprise, surprise) despite the bright, warm sunshine, and his t-shirt fits snug across his shoulders.

“Nice haircut,” Mobius notes between sips of his ever-warming seltzer.

Loki gives the barest hint of a smile, which is unfortunately one of Mobius’ favorite things, if only because it is one of the few real things about the man.

“Not that you asked, but I stopped by because I have some information for you.”

Mobius sighs. Loki loves claiming to have information, which Mobius more-or-less loves to follow-up on despite the fact that it is unreliable about 85% of the time. Happily enough for Mobius, Loki isn’t a huge fan of his father either, although he is a fan of his father’s money, which doesn’t really work in the IRS’ favor.

“Oh?” Mobius replies, disinterested. “And I’m sure it’s just as helpful as your last little ‘tip’ was.”

“More, actually, and frankly I’m offended by the accusation.”

“I’m sure you are.”

The few seconds that follow would be familiar to anyone who had for whatever reason been observing this strange almost-mating ritual that had been occurring over the years. A comfortably quiet exchange of mutual gazing where Loki secretly admired the bent in Mobius’ nose, and Mobius secretly admired the crinkling around Loki’s eyes when he did that almost-smile he reserved for a lucky few.

Loki clears his throat and reaches across the table for the seltzer, taking a sip whilst decidedly ignoring the look of disbelief on Mobius’ face.

“Excuse me—”

“Yes, excuse you, if you’ll recall I was about to share some very valuable information. The most valuable, you might say.”

The last time Loki interrupted Mobius’ lunch with “valuable information,” he’d wasted an ungodly amount of time and money pursuing a lead (and raiding the office of a rather well-respected Senator) that went nowhere, all because this Senator had made a pointed and correct comment at some rich-person function and Loki has never been able to not take something personally for even one moment in his absurd little life.

“And why should I believe you this time?”

It’s the fidgeting that gives it away—how starts tapping his fingertips against the empty can, his eyes looking anywhere other than at Mobius. That maybe he’s telling the truth this time.

“I’m... tired, I guess.”

“You’re ‘tired.’”

He looks up, briefly, before he returns to this out-of-character bit of looking anywhere else.

“My brother’s off... saving the world,” he starts with a sneer, “Sylvie’s about to have a family—”

“She’s still your family,” Mobius interrupts, “don’t be stupid.”

“But that’s classic me, isn’t it?”

Mobius silently disagrees, but he’s so afraid to burst this bubble of self-awareness—to ruin what has started to feel like a critical, life-changing moment, that he cannot possibly bring himself to speak.

Loki opens his mouth as if he has more to say, but he closes it and places a small black hard drive in the middle of the table instead. When Mobius looks closer, he notices that it’s engraved with a small bolt of lightening. His heart starts to tap in a series quickening, uncomfortable beats. 

“Loki—”

“I’ve had it for a while,” he admits, “if you knew how long you’d probably want nothing more to do with me.”

Mobius has made the moral arguments before; probably to the detriment of the argument itself. That no single man should be able to accumulate so much wealth—that his notoriously stuffy, humorless job is “really important, actually,” and stopping his father could help a lot of people, least of all his own son, and “good god, Loki, what the hell are you even trying to prove?”

“It’s for admittedly selfish reasons,” he continues before Mobius can correct him, “regardless of the final outcome.”

“Why’s that?” Mobius croaks, wishing his tie was just a little bit looser today (so goddamn tight, every single day—)

“Well,” he grins, looking back up at him, finally, “if you’re not undercover, there’s no... what’s the term? ‘Conflict of interest?’”

“Yeah,” Mobius laughs, “yeah, that’s the term.”

Loki pushes the drive across the table. “Take it,” he says, “it’s time you had it.”

"Feels like it should be heavier.”

Loki smirks.

“Shut up.”

Mobius glances at his watch and notices, with surprise, that he’s gone about 5 minutes over his lunch hour.

“Time to go?” Loki asks, the words painted with a nervousness that seems foreign to him.

Agent Mobius has never once returned late from his lunch hour. He respects the agency’s time too much, and what real good has ever come from his lingering? But when he looks back at Loki, who has so recently cut his hair—who suddenly fidgets and appears genuinely nervous, he considers the importance of making exceptions to certain rules. To “loosening his tie,” so to speak. And besides, Bee will cover for him (he’s pretty sure).

“Nah,” Mobius answers, sliding the drive into his coat pocket, “I can be late.”

#loki series #loki #mobius #lokius #loki fic #lokius fic #loki fanfic #lokius fanfic #@hencethewriter #a prince and a bureaucrat flirt in a park #it's a modern au #because i will never fuck with mcu canon for free #also there's a wes anderson reference in here #because of course there is

[testudoaubrei-blog]

TL/DR - Catra is a uniquely complex and compelling character who has -so much going on- compared with most characters in any medium. Her character arc is psychologically astute, morally powerful and dramatically compelling, and it pushes the boundaries of the audiences sympathies in ways that are really groundbreaking for a kids show, and her arcs conclusion celebrates love, growth, and the power to change in a way that is all too rare in TV for grown ups.

Content note for mentions of suicidal ideation and self harm.

Well, now that the summary is out of the way, here’s a massive fucking dissertation on why Catra is such a great character.

This is the first of a series of posts outlining things that make She Ra a truly great show, one that stands out even 15 years into a golden age of TV animation for kids. This isn’t going to be a comprehensive account for why the show is great - the real answer is that this show has so many arcs and so many fully realized characters and they are all growing and changing in ways that interact with each other and complement each other so well. But I’m going to highlight some particular standouts, things that this show does better than anything else, things that made me step back and say ‘holy shit they did this in a show pitched at 10 year olds?!’

And so the first of these posts is about Catra. I’ve never seen a character in a kids TV show like Catra before. Depending on the season, she’s an anti-villain, an outright villain and an anti-hero and then, in the end, a hero. Being glib, I describe her in villain mode as a Saturday morning cartoon Supervillain as written by like, Dostoevsky. She’s got the trappings of classic villain camp - long speeches, sneering, over-complicated plans, she’s oddly ineffectual at times etc/ Yet all of this is underlaid and justified by something much deeper - her feelings of rejection, her desire to lash out at everyone around her, at her self-hatred and hatred of everyone and everything else (at least by Season 4. Good God.) And her actions are as dark as her motivations - she nearly destroys reality out of spite, betrays literally everyone who cares about her (often multiple times) and isolates herself so completely that in the season 4 finale she is a solitary, suicidal wreck of a person. Hell, in her last fight with Hordak, I was definitely rooting for Hordak (to say nothing of Glimmer, who is a pretty impressive antiheroine, like if Sparkles had just blasted her into glittery oblivion would we have held it against her?).

Let's start by discussing trauma. It comes up a lot with Catra for obvious and good reasons. But I almost feel like that word is insufficient for what's going on with Catra, or at least, we shouldn't stop with it (I know there are terms like complex trauma, but rather than simply using those I want to explain the difference between Catra’s consistent abuse and a single traumatic event). To use another example from a different show, Korra was also traumatized in season 4. But she was traumatized by a series of an events when she was a young adult. She had something horrible happen to her, and it fucked her up, and then she had exposure therapy with Zaheer and at least starts to get better. Catra...Catra is much more consistently abused. It's not just that shadow weaver traumatized her with the various acts of torture, but that Shadow Weaver taught Catra both an explicit worldview and a series of coping mechanisms that she struggles with through young adulthood. First, Shadow Weaver trained Catra to seek her approval. This is something she is particularly vulnerable to with Shadow Weaver, but also what she does with Hordak and to a extent Double Trouble. Catra's instinct when people mistreat her or show that they aren't trustworthy is to invest further in the relationship, until the breaking point. By contrast, when people treat her well Catra lashes out or takes them for granted. This is uh…a dymamic I am acquainted with among people who have been abused as kids, people whom I love. It is pretty rough.

She also developed a desire to prove herself. This starts off being tied to her drive for approval, but combined with her competitive streak (which is expressed in both healthy and unhealthy ways with Adora) it turns into a desire to beat Shadow Weaver and then Hordak at their own game.

At the same time, Catra learned by always being blamed for everything to evade and deny responsibility, no matter what. I think this form of self reassurance is tied to her self doubt (I think at some level she does think she is worthless) and her self hatred. It is also enabled by Adora’s martyr complex and willingness even act as Catra’s punching bag (as we see in the flashback in Corridors). This is a dynamic that actually repeats in an even worse fashion with Scorpia. Far from being arrogant, her constant evasions, put downs against others and preening speeches sound like the words of a woman who is trying to convince herself most of all. This tendency borders on narcissistic self delusion by season 3-4, which she begins recounting her version of events and possibly believing it even when it is obviously false, and everyone knows it.

When it comes to worldviews, Shadow Weaver taught Catra that love is about control and manipulation. We see this in seasons 1-3 where she congratulates herself for manipulating Adora when all she has done is take advantage of Adora's lingering love for her. Meanwhile, she’s learned that power is her only protection, and that the only way to stay on top is to abuse those beneath her.

The final kind of static tendency in Catra is her identity in the horde and her view of herself as one of the bad guys. This is something she rarely articulates but underlies much of her her decision to stay and not join Adora (at least at first). I think one thing to consider is that even if Catra never believed horde propaganda, it may have made her cynical and unwilling to imagine something better for herself or the world. Another factor is having struggled to belong in the horde for so long, she isn't going to give up now. At first this ties into her desire to win the approval of shadow weaver and Hordak, then it comes from her desire to prove herself better than them. Another factor is her self hatred. She sees herself as someone who hurts people, perhaps as a monster. She sees herself as a bad guy and so team evil is her side.

So yeah, our girl is kinda fucked up.

And yet Catra is never reduced to the sum of her traumas and bad habits. At every step of the way she is shown as a moral agent. She is shaped by shadow Weaver's abuse but she remains aware of and responsible for her actions. This is a double edged sword. She is fully responsible for her actions, but also she is never shown as broken by abuse or mental illness. She’s fully responsible, but by the same token is also redeemable, because she still has a choice.

So with that our of the way, let's go to Catra's arc.

I’m not going to recite everything terrible Catra does because I’m still on my first complete rewatch and I honestly find it hard to list it all. It’s a lot. So let’s talk about her shifting motivations. Early on, we see her desire for approval and recognition motivating her in ways that are so easy to sympathize with - she’s been told she’s worthless for years, and she wants to be worth something. We see how much she’s been scarred by Shadow Weavers abuse and by the ruthlessness and callousness of the Horde, and can sympathize with her desire to survive and advance since her own position is so untenable. We also see how, at first, she wants to be reunited with Adora. Her first huge turn into much darker territory is Promises, when she tries to kill Adora in order to permanently sever her connection with her own life and eliminate a possible rival for advancement (should Adora ever return). She’s told herself that she doesn’t want Adora back, and at least partly means it. Yet we still show her care for Scorpia and Entrapta and even Shadow Weaver in Season 2. It’s when Catra realizes that Shadow Weaver has chosen Adora over her once again that she takes her darkest turn. It’s not just that she destroys reality out of spite, it’s that she rejects her chance for a better and happier life, betrays every friend she has and focuses single-mindedly on hurting Adora (and arguably herself) and then on surviving when her attempt fails. Then Catra spends an entire season both fully inhabiting her role as a villain (and not a sympathetic one - really only our history with her leaves us sympathetic) and being utterly self-destructive and miserable. At the end, as mentioned, she’s a broken, suicidal wreck who has destroyed everything she’s strived for. If this was an HBO drama, we’d roll credits here and she’d go down as another self-destructive antihero. It would perhaps be too much to call her ‘Walter White as a catgirl’, but still. Of course, her story doesn’t end there.

Something that is incredibly dark that is happening in step with this is Catra’s hardening of herself, indeed, her dehumanization of herself. We see her struggle with her natural compassion, her kindness, her need for connection, her desire for happiness, and we see her ignore it all, stamp it down and nearly snuff it out. This is a huge factor in her descent into becoming a real villain (no ‘anti’ qualifiers needed). Every step of her descent is a struggle for Catra - not going with Adora in the second part of ‘The Sword’, trying to kill Adora in ‘Promise’, going back to the Horde, betraying Entrapta, lying about Entrapta, threatening Scorpia, destroying the world - but she always chooses evil. And with every step she becomes more isolated, more callous, and more cruel. Her default reaction becomes not just bravado and mockery and insolence, but threats, bullying and intimidation, until her management style is identical to Hordak’s, and indeed, is quite a bit worse. Catra starts off fighting for Hordak and Shadow Weaver’s approval and struggling to survive, and ends up cackling maniacally at her brutal and murderous conquests. She has very deliberately turned herself into a cruel conqueror, and a tyrant. This self-dehumanization is a huge part of evil in the world, I think, and it’s really powerful to see it so clearly in a kids show.

Meanwhile her insistence on evading all responsibility finally results in a self-serving, self-protective narrative that insulates her from responsibility or self-examination but also cuts her off from reality and other people. It’s always a bit unclear to what extent her various untruths (about Adora leaving her, about Shadow Weaver’s escape and her concealment of it not being her fault, about Entrapta betraying Hordak) are things she believes, lies she is telling to have power over others (mostly Scorpia) or things that she doesn’t quite believe but is trying to convince herself of. It’s probably all of these at various times, and in different degrees for each lie. The end result is that Catra is even more alone, because only she inhabits the safe cocoon of lies she’s built around herself. It also is the key to her and the Horde’s downfall - Catra is so isolated and in such denial that she can’t see how thin her forces are spread, and this crack shows up even in episode 1 of Season 4, with her insistence that the Princess Alliance is in shambles (when, in fact, it’s already rebounding, and proves more resilient than she allows herself to believe, and is led by a woman as ruthless and determined as herself). This part of Catra’s arc brilliantly shows how deception (of yourself and others) can feel protective by keeping shame at bay, but ultimately is destructive and strips someone of so much of the intellectual and moral qualities that we call ‘human.’ It’s also chilling to see since we’ve seen the end game of this mentality play out in US national politics, at the highest level.

I said at the opening that we’ve never seen a sympathetic character like Catra in a kids show. What about Zuko? I would argue that Zuko is never a cruel, or as callous, or as self-destructive as Catra is at her worst. Zuko is motivated by a desire for recognition from his abusive father (much like Catra is initially motivated by desire for recognition from Hordak and Shadow Weaver, and indeed Adora), and perhaps a desire to belong in the Fire Nation. All of this gets wrapped together in his ‘Honor’. He’s a young man with a very weak sense of what he truly believes, instead relying on external guides to what he should do. He’s also incredibly self-involved, and initially indifferent to anyone’s pain but his own and anyone’s needs but his own need to restore his honor. Uncle Iroh is there throughout to push Zuko both to see the needs of others and to become his own person. Zuko’s redemption arc, then, is a twofold quest to recognize other people and to find his own moral center and act from it. This is a pretty powerful coming of age story in that it is about him becoming his own person and throwing off the shackles of his upbringing. Politically, it’s a powerful story of a young man taking responsibility for his own actions in an authoritarian regime and refusing to participate in its imperialism any more and to embrace a new way forward both for himself and his nation. At the same time, in some ways it is easy to sympathize with Zuko because his greatest crimes are those of weakness - he’s not strong enough to stand up to his nation and his family until midway through the last season. Catra though...Catra does what she does, eventually, because she wants to hurt people. She’s cruel, and spiteful, and destructive in ways that are truly scary and which prevent any excuse or mitigation.

Which brings up the other comparison - Azula. But while Azula is (somewhat inconsistently) shown either as a monstrous child sociopath or a traumatized and broken child who can’t help it (and thus, perversely, as not a moral agent but something like a monster), Catra is consistently shown as a moral agent. Catra chooses her own path, every step of the way. She has so many chances to do something else - Adora’s offers to leave together in the two-part series opener, Promises, Scorpia’s suggestion that they dessert the Horde and become desert gang leaders, etc - and until season 5, she turns them all down. While Azula seems destined for evil and madness, with Catra we see a young woman very deliberately walk down the path into unmitigated evil with both eyes open. And then we see it destroy her.

And after she is basically destroyed, we see her build herself back. This process actually starts in Season 4 with the creeping realization that even when she is winning she is miserable and alone. She doesn’t even notice Scorpia is gone for several episodes, then she completely loses it. She spends the entire time when she is at her most triumphant isolated and raging and borderline incoherent, as ineffectual as she accuses Hordak of being. She’s won, and she’s alone, and she’s the most unhappy she has ever been, and I think for the first time she realizes that. And that’s the worst blow to her, even before all the external things come crashing down. She’s already miserable before Double Trouble and Glimmer deal her a triple coup de grace of destroying all her armies*, turning her and Hordak against each other and then Double Trouble’s epic evisceration. By the time Glimmer shows up, Catra is, as mentioned, literally suicidal. But she’s also already begun the process of changing in that she knows that she has a problem (her, and her self/other-destructive tendencies). Moreover, she knows, at some level, that what she really wants isn’t conquest, or to prove herself as the baddest leader of the Horde, but love - and she’s seen how she’s squandered that at every opportunity.

Let’s just pause for a moment to observe how much better Glimmer is at villainous machinations than Catra. In a couple episodes she makes a faustian bargain for unlimited power, kills all her enemies armies, sets her two chief foes at each other’s throats and literally cripples one while rendering the other helpless. And given her ironic non-answer about hurting Catra (‘we’re the good guys, remember?’ and the fact that she’d tried to kill Catra twice before**, she walked into Hordak’s sanctum fully intending to end Catra’s life, one way or another. She does all this through ruthlessness, recklessness and treachery, and she could give like, a TED talk on villainy. Of course it also blows up in her face and is actually way worse than the portal did in Catra’s, endangering the whole universe (I always assumed that the portal only threatened Despondos), dooming Etheria to invasion and all that. Of course, Catra pulled that switch and then fought Adora knowing that the world was ending, while Glimmer was just ignoring warnings from...just about everyone, including Shadow Weaver. So yeah, Glimmer, best kids show antihero since Princess Bubblegum***(unless we’re counting Catra as an antihero, which works for the first half of season 5).

Anyway, at the beginning of Season 5 Catra is adrift. Though some interpretations, like TV tropes, see her as immediately falling back into old habits and casting her lot in with Prime, I see her actions from the end of Season 4 onwards as more ambivalent. She seems to be kind of...going through the motions. She doesn’t have any of the drive or passion in her plotting that she once did, she seems to be maneuvering into Prime’s good graces out of habit. At best she’s back in the survival mode of early season 1, but without the ambition and desire to prove herself that motivated her. Some interpretations put a lot of stock in Prime being someone that can’t be bargained with or appeased, but...I don’t buy it. I take him, to an extent, at his word when he says that he was ‘exalt’ Catra (I am sure it is something awful). Catra actually gets what she wants halfway through “Corridors.” Only it’s not what she wants. She’s done jockeying for advantage, especially in a world where she truly would be alone because all she has is this psychopathic narcissist and his clones for company. She wants connection. She wants to do what is right. She’s suppressed all her humanity (felinitity? Anyway) for years and it’s made her miserable, and now she’s ready to embrace it. At the same time she confronts her own culpability, seeing just how much harm she’s done and admitting it for the first time. Her first lifeline is Glimmer, the only person she can actually talk to, the only other Etherian, the woman whose mother she doomed and who has nearly killed her three times. But Glimmer is also going through her own dark night of the soul - Glimmer and Catra’s character arcs were converging at the same time that Catra’s and Adoras and Glimmer’s and Adora’s were diverging. And they come together on either side of that forcefield, just talking and being people in an environment that is designed to be as dehumanizing as possible. Even this barest lifeline is enough for Catra to hold on to for dear life, and enough to inspire her to not just feel bad about the bad things she’s done, but do something good.

But the first way she does this is a cop out. Her plan, like Shadow Weaver’s in the finale, is to sacrifice/kill herself doing ‘one good thing.’ That way she doesn’t have to figure out how to live with the consequences of her actions, face the possible rejection of the people she loves whom she’s wronged, and do the hard work of building herself back up as a better person. She gets to die a hero rather than live as a villain. That said, unlike Shadow Weaver she does at least get off one apology, and it makes all the difference.

Then Adora fucks Catra’s sacrifice up, in glorious, space operatic, gay AF pulp fiction fashion, by saving the cat. Catra is mind controlled or unconscious for most of this episode, but what she does do is so crucial. When Adora comes for her, she reaches out to her, as soon as she is able. She doesn’t push her away, she takes Adora’s help, and her love, and Adora does the rest in badass fashion. The next few episodes plus the so perfect its canon Don’t Go are my favorite part of Catra’s entire arc.

She nearly falls back into her old habits, at least partly. Now that she has to live with what she’s done rather than just dying for it she just wants to run away again. But when she has to choose between losing Adora all over again and confronting herself and her past, she chooses Adora, and asks her to stay.

Catra then spends the rest of Season 5 slowly easing herself into the very human world of the Princess Alliance - the comaradery, the dedication to others and a cause, the goofiness. I’m going to talk a lot more about her relationship with Adora in my Catradora post, but I do want to highlight three moments.

The first is Catra running away again. This is actually a big change from what she’s done before - she’s not leaving because she’s angry, or bitter, or spiteful, she’s leaving because she doesn’t want to see the woman she loves sacrifice herself yet again (maybe this time for good) after being manipulated by the woman who had abused them both. But then she comes back. And then she confronts her abuser in a way that she has never done before - for the first time in the series, she not only calls Shadow Weaver out but calls her to do the right thing, and doesn’t give up until she does (this is after Adora also calls SW out and cuts her off forever, meaning that her two charges have finally called her on her bullshit and chosen each other over her, more in my Shadow Weaver Rant...and I guess my Catradora rant).

Then, at the end, Catra both stays with Adora through her potentially fatal harnessing of the Heart of Etheria and then her comes in and rescues her by challenging her to do something for Catra and for herself. Not to be with Catra, or to kiss her, or love her, but just stay for her. Needless to say, Adora responds far more enthusiastically than Catra had dared hope. (more on this in my Catradora rant).

Catra starts the show convinced she doesn’t need anyone except Adora, and she’s willing to even push Adora away if she can’t have Adora on her own terms. She goes down that path - ambition, manipulation, treachery, cruelty and isolation - until she has nothing left. She then slowly, painfully, turns around and reaches out and begins to heal the pain in Etheria and the universe rather than causing more. This is a psychological journey in many ways, but even more than that it is a profoundly moral one. It is a story of her accepting responsibility for her actions, facing reality, reaching out to others and making amends. It is in every sense a redemption. And while it works perfectly with Adora’s own development into her own, fuller, happier, healthier person, it works not because of Adora or the power of love, but because of Catra herself. Adora’s companionship, Adora’s rescuing of her and holding her to account, all of these are necessary for Catra to change for the better. But in the end it is Catra herself who chooses the right path, maybe for the first time in her life. And that’s what makes the romance work in turn - Catra is motivated to change not simply by a desire to impress her girlfriend or by Adora’s shining goodness (to the contrary, Adora’s a healthier and less self-sacrificing person at least in the finale...she comes around later than Catra) but by her desire to be true to herself and seek out what she really needs and wants - which is love, and connection, and to do good rather than evil. It’s a gorgeous story that takes an antihero all the way down to hell and then back again, and this makes it a truly unique redemption arc in all of kids TV - not just because of how far Catra falls, but how far she travels overall.

*(I know a lot of fanficcers talk about there being a lot of Horde Soldiers left but like...in the show...they’re nearly all dead, guys. Glimmer and company...okay mostly Mermista... just about killed them all in an afternoon. The cadet Triad survives because they deserted and weren’t there to get drowned/frozen/suffocated by plants when the grand invasion of Brightmoon went sideways)

**Okay, once she was only an accessory to Shadow Weaver’s attempted murder of Catra, the other time she leaves Catra for dead in ‘Pulse’

***I stan PB so hard guys. So hard. Machiavellian genius, mad scientist, god figure, possible Nietzschean Ubermensch? She’s so great. So great.

#she ra #she ra adora #she ra catra #spop catra #redemption arcs

[pla-teau]

LOKI EPISODE FOUR : THE NEXUS EVENT

GIF CREDIT TO: @luke-skywalker SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

SYLVIE | there's a lot to process in the short time we get of young sylvie. it didn't seem like she was doing anything that caused a nexus event. when we see her, she's simply playing with her toys on asgard. sylvie asks about what her crime was later on with renslayer but it's never clear cut as to what she did. the only thing we know is that she escaped from renslayer which is why she's so hell bent on capturing and pruning sylvie. i have a certain thought on this later.

WE SURVIVE | the words loki tells sylvie just when she’s given up and accepted that she’ll die on lamentis. that’s what makes loki a loki - yes, he fails over and over again but each and every time we’ve witnessed his ‘death’ he comes back or when things seem to possibly end for his story, loki still manages to survive.

LAMENTIS | based on the namesake of the episode, this is the nexus event that caused them to be found but what was it? personally, from watching the episode and keeping in mind that this is 2012!loki, i think that the nexus event was hope and acceptance between them. i think there’s genuine hope despite being stuck on a doomed planet about to become smaller flying rocks in space. in every apocalypse so far, we’ve seen that basically anticipating and accepting the end of the world doesn’t cause a breach in the timeline because what is there to hope for? it’s all going to be destroyed anyway no matter the little fake hope you have inside yourself telling you that everything is going to be alright. loki and sylvie up to this point haven’t had that kind of hope before ever in their lives. with the acceptance part, i think it's self-acceptance and acceptance of their roles in the universe. roll with me here, loki throughout the mcu has never accepted his fate or what's supposed to happen; he's always fighting it and trying to come out on top as a ruler of people whether it's earth, asgard and sakaar. he doesn't accept to not be a ruler or on the losing side of a battle against earth's mightiest heroes and at odds with the other marvel characters. he doesn't fully accept himself either because he didn't know he was adopted until at least one thousand years later and he couldn't accept that he wasn't destined for something other than a shadow or simply his title as the god of mischief. it made a lot more sense in my head tbh. a lot of people freaking out about this moment being loki falling in love with sylvie/himself but i don't think that's it. loki for once genuinely cares about someone else and i think it's platonic cause while i have little faith in the mouse house giving us more than confirmation that loki is bisexual, i don't think they'd make loki fall in love with himself.

LOKI'S TIME CELL | a nostalgic reveal we get is sif in this looped time cell plucked from loki's memory. apparently, he cut off a chunk of her hair because he thought it would be funny. in typical sif fashion, she proceeds to beat him up in retaliation as well of sharing some biting words. it's interesting how after a few loops and knees to the nuts, loki apologizes to sif about the prank and admits that he's afraid of being alone and acts narcissistic and like a pompous asshole if you will because of this fear. i think this is a bigger break through of his character than the one we saw in the first episode because he's admitting it to someone from his life that he highly respected but acted like a child to her to get her attention even if it was negative. i wish for more vulnerable loki moments because it continues to prove that loki isn't just the god of mischief, he can be more (as thor said in ragnarok).

MOBIUS VS LOKI | honestly, this whole interrogation scene screamed mobius being jealous of loki making pals with sylvie and i loved it. what i like is that mobius does air the sentiment that we all have in our heads after realizing that loki and sylvie did somehow click to create the nexus event. it's narcissism to the max. again, i think loki truly cares for sylvie in a platonic or even a familial sense since they both don't make connections too often with others (romantic or platonic).

HUNTER B-15 | i was wondering what happened with her after her run in with sylvie at the roxxcart supermarket. clearly, sylvie unlocked a memory within her subconscious as well and is starting to doubt herself. we don't see what memory of hers it was but it's enough to make her break protocol and go against the TVA later on in the episode. in conclusion, we have no choice but to stan this queen. also seems like she wasn't reset in that final battle so we'll hopefully see her in the next episode.

RAVONNA & MOBIUS | their friendship is put to the test in this episode. while being of a higher position than mobius, ravonna does seem to care deeply for mobius. she said so herself, she wants to protect mobius...but from the truth instead of the false danger about sylvie that she's filling his head with. ravonna clearly knows a lot more than she's letting on and that the TVA is an elaborate lie. i think she wants to protect mobius from the truth because she doesn't seem to have other close friendships like the one with him. it's also clear she cares for him when he's pruned (supposedly!) by another hunter. also, there's this other analyst/field agent mobius always brings up when we see them in her office so i wonder if it's someone who also knows about the grand lie the TVA is or is even some alternate variant of kang the conqueror who we know is supposed to be introduced in the third ant-man movie. it'd be interesting to see if kang is teased one way or another in the final two episodes.

DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE ALONE? | the question mobius poses to loki when he starts to believe that they may be telling the truth. it's an interesting question to pose because we've been hearing it and have seen it throughout the mcu with loki. the time loop loki's stuck in, sif tells him that he'll always be alone. throughout the mcu, loki has been alone in his plans and mischief despite being surrounded by his family, his future enemies, and his people. loki has known nothing but being on his own, being his own island of chaos. as sylvie put it earlier, they're a product of the universe trying to break free, chaos. mobius knows that this nexus event has something to do with the two of them, for once, accepting that they're not alone or that they're not just a cosmic mistake, there's hope for them to be whatever they want and not just confined to their mischievous roles.

RAVONNA & SYLVIE | in the elevator, sylvie confronts ravonna about her crime as a child. it's something everyone wants to know, what does a young loki have to do to be charged and reset by the TVA? ravonna seems to know that this something she can leverage and torture sylvie with so she claims to not remember. sylvie says that it must've been important and severe enough to mess up the sacred timeline. maybe she wasn't supposed to know that she was adopted until later in her life like our loki. she's supposed to be causing trouble and be this terrible villain but what if with sylvie knowing her true parentage at such an early age, she learned to accept herself/identity and made peace with it. that's another thing that could've caused the nexus event between the two, they had found self-acceptance even at just the brink of death. maybe they're supposed to do so but later in their lives in their own timelines so that's why it's enough to destroy the TVA as mobius hinted at earlier. happy that sylvie decided to keep ravonna for information so i expect the next episode to have them in ravonna's office or still in the timekeeper chambers as ravonna tells us what is going on.

THE TIMEKEEPERS | when sylvie beheads the central timekeeper, we learn that they're mindless androids. it never ends, there's no throne to sit upon after killing them so it seems. it was all just a giant hoax but this further feeds into my personal theory that kang, one way or another, is behind all of this. what i find really interesting is how the other two timekeepers laugh when sylvie beheads one. whoever is behind controlling the fake androids, they have a way to see what is happening and communicate in real time with the TVA agents and variants. hopefully in the final two episodes we see what the hell is going on and how the TVA came to be and why.

LOKI POST CREDIT SCENE | so apparently, loki isn't reset or something of the sorts. he's actually sent to another world. i believe this is an alternate new york where we'll see president loki as you can see the remains of the old avengers tower. this makes me think about mobius' fate to be similar to loki's; possibly sent to either the same place or a similar world. we see three human new lokis here. from the credits, we have classic loki (richard e. grant), kid loki (jack veal), and boastful loki (deobia oparei). apparently there's also a crocodile!loki and i'm here for it. can't wait to see how our favorite variant gets out of it next week!

oh god, this was so rusty and unorganized but hope if whoever reads this can somewhat understand the points i'm trying to get across.

#scar’s theories #scar’s thoughts on marvel #scar tries to piece together what she can each week #i know i'm rusty so bear with me pls #loki #loki series spoilers #loki series #loki laufeyson #sylvie laufeydottir #loki laufeysdottir #ravonna renslayer #mobius m mobius #hunter b 15 #tom hiddleston #sophia di martino #gugu mbatha raw #owen wilson #wunmi mosaku #mcu #marvel

[katsidhe]

could you do 9.10 and 9.13 for episode reviews.

Love your takes btw.

9.10 Final Thoughts

well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend season 9. God I love season 9. buckle in. 

Plenty of what season 9 tries to do with angel drama falls flat, but plenty of it doesn’t. It’s at its strongest when interrogating the ways that the angels are looking for personal purpose, rather than folding themselves into various suit-clad factions. In this episode, we have Gadreel, Abner, and Thaddeus, all with very different takes.

Thaddeus is the most boring of the three—a straightforward narcissist and sadist. (Lucifer will follow in his rockstar-impersonating footsteps in s12. SPN clearly has a dim view of the music industry.) We don’t care when he dies, and we aren’t meant to.

Abner’s found a family, and he’s let go of revenge. He’s clearly found peace and happiness—but it’s stolen.  I’m ambivalent about this. I guess I could take his word that his vessel was abusive and therefore deserves to have been permanently body-snatched, and I guess I could believe him when he says his new family loves him, even though they clearly don’t know what he is or what he’s done. His regard for humanity as something other than a project is… uncertain. Even if everything is as sunny as he explains to Gadreel, there is fundamental selfishness and short-sightedness here. Get what you want, Abner says, and never let go.

Gadreel asks Abner if his vessel is happy. This reveals both Abner’s scorn for his vessel, and Gadreel’s uncomfortable awareness of and respect for Sam (and his bartender vessel, who Gadreel stares at, and who accepts Gadreel back easily).

Gadreel! OF COURSE Gadreel’s gotta be the scapegoat for Lucifer’s release, HAHAHAH. I love him to pieces, oml. Seriously, the Sam parallels could not BE more blatant. I’ve talked about this before, that it makes the earned antipathy between them all the more alarming, all the more visceral. The big sticking point is that Gadreel’s years of pointless torture came prior to his “redemption” arc, rather than as a consequence of it. Gadreel has all of s5 Sam’s despair and helpless anger and self-loathing, all of his drive to set things right at any price, and all of it is amplified by his trauma.

Sam and Gadreel’s relationship is defined by its liminal spaces. Gadreel threatens to tear Sam apart, but he does not, even when he is tortured. He locks Sam away in a dream rather than force him to watch him kill, or to suffer. But when Sam forces Gadreel out, Gadreel leaps instantly on telling Sam he is weak, reciting back Sam’s fears and Gadreel’s own. This reads like Gadreel is aiming quite a lot of his own self-pity and self-hatred at Sam.

Cas’s murderous rage at Gadreel when his identity is revealed is fun. It shows that Heaven’s PR team did a good job, for one thing. But Cas is furious because it’s specifically Lucifer. And the Apocalypse, and all the attendant suffering, his and Dean’s and Sam’s. It’s a personal wrath.

“Stupid for the right reasons…” oh, Cas, your scarcity of positive human role models is showing. Also, Cas’s particular brand of reassurance here isn’t actually something Dean has a problem with. He expresses regret over having been tricked—he says he’s stupid, he says he got played—but he’s never in doubt that his intentions were good. He’s never in doubt that he did the righteous thing. He’s never in doubt that he’d do it again.

Dean apologizes to Cas for barring him from the bunker. (Sam will not receive an apology.) Cas compares what Dean did to Sam to what Cas did by trusting Naomi. There’s a key difference here. Cas’s moral compass is not the problem; it’s his critical thinking skills.

Crowley, Cas, and Dean are a hilarious trio. (Also, I really hope that Cas’s pimpmobile got to Heaven too, like the Impala.)

Crowley being genuinely sorry that Kevin’s gone and his willingness to risk his life to help Sam are the best two moments of the generally weak Crowley-has-human-blood plot line. They feel earned. [also Crowley’s ‘I told Kevin he should’ve run!’ is both accurate, funny, and sad.]

Let’s talk 4.21 parallels! I mean, first, the glaringly obvious: Sam locked down to be purged of something supernatural; Sam suffering; Dean unable to bear Sam’s tortured screams; a very atmospheric fan. Dean walking away.

and then, of course, there’s “at least he dies human.” Right off the bat, Dean tells Cas he’s going to kill Gadreel. Cas, concerned, says that this will kill Sam too; Dean, sounding tortured, says he knows. Now, obviously, Dean doesn’t kill Sam. He doesn’t even get particularly close. But it’s really interesting that this is the first thing Dean brings up! He declares unprompted that he’s ready to kill Sam rather than leave him possessed. Which is both a recapitulation of the save-him-or-kill-him mantra, and an ironic twist on the decision Dean made in 9.01. Then, Dean knew Sam would rather die than be possessed, but had him possessed anyway. Now, Dean has decided instead that Sam must die because he is possessed. Obviously Dean’s opinion on the possessing entity has changed in the meantime: Sam’s hasn’t, but Sam’s isn’t what matters. 

Dean reaches new levels of PEAK IRONY when he declares that Cas should possess Sam too. Cas has to actually point out that Dean can’t, in fact, volunteer Sam’s permission. Because apparently Dean had forgotten, lmaooo. Crowley, on the other hand, is happy to oblige. Dean directs Cas to burn Sam’s tattoo off.

The language of this entire scene is so sexual. I mean, it’s Crowley, of course it is, double entendre is his first language. But this theme recurs again and again. Here it is just more pointed than usual. It is queasy.

Gadreel has Sam trapped in a Dean-type happy place—a hunt with ghouls and cheerleaders, no organic produce to be found. And I don’t think it’s because Gadreel doesn’t understand what Sam likes. I think it’s because Gadreel’s aim was for Sam to feel comfortable, not blissful. It smacks of Hallucifer, just a bit—using the verisimilitude of Dean’s louder moods rather than trying to appeal directly to Sam’s contentment, because of his always questionable, always a question, sense of reality. If things were too smooth, too cheerful, Sam might just be suspicious. Sam is easier to trick by proxy. 

The HORROR of this episode for Sam: Gadreel washing someone’s blood off of Sam’s hands. Crowley pushing needles into his brain. Sam’s body and life as a bargaining chip as Gadreel threatens to kill him, and then as Dean threatens to kill him right back. The quiet heartbreak as Sam remembers Kevin’s death, as he realizes the magnitude of Dean’s betrayal. But the worst part of it, I think, is somehow still Sam’s face when Crowley comes to get him in the dream where Gadreel stashed him. How his expression just crumples as Crowley tells him he is trapped in a lie, that his mindscape is once again a prison, that he truly cannot trust his reality. The sheer devastation of this on top of Sam’s history, plus the knowledge that Dean did this—and he pulls himself together and puts his foot on Gadreel’s neck and casts him OUT anyway. Sam Fucking Winchester.

and then the Bridge Scene. The lighting, the staging… it’s fucking gorgeous. It’s one of those scenes where I knew as I was watching it for the first time, seven years ago, that it was going to be something. I held my breath and still hold my breath. I can’t take my eyes off the way that Sam is shaking slightly, the entire time. The way he can barely meet Dean’s eyes but he does it anyway. He SAYS HIS PIECE, says it clearly, says it with an even tone despite what he’s gone through, despite the holes in his head that were healed seconds ago.

I love the gentleness between Sam and Cas here. I love knowing that 9.11 follows this. I love that there is no question that Cas will leave with Dean—he is staying with Sam, to heal and support him, even after he spent this episode mostly reassuring Dean.

Dean does not start this conversation to apologize. He starts out with the intent to DELIBERATELY egg Sam on: “come on, let’s hear it.” It’s an incitement, because Dean wants Sam to act angry, so that Dean can feel more justified in leaving. Sam does not rise to the bait.

Dean has an excuse for every point Sam has: I had no choice, you were dying, it’s not in me, he saved your life. He says, “I did a bad thing with bad consequences and I would 100% do it again, anyway, bye.”

And then the most infuriating thing: Dean is in the wrong, so he tells the person he’s wronged, ugh, I’m just such an awful poisonous person, I’m going to burn for this. It’s so clearly wrong-headed. Intentional or not, it’s such an obvious invitation for Sam to comfort him that it might well have been embossed. If this were in e.g. season 15, or if the crime he’d committed had been less awful, I can easily hear Sam’s reassurance: no, Dean, I promise you’re a good person, we all make mistakes. It is the most toxic way possible to frame a potential apology.

The textual theme of Dean-as-poison (and, for that matter, the consequence of Kevin’s death vs. the initial crime of the possession) is an intentional muddying of the waters: Crowley, Cas, and Dean himself all bring it up in some fashion, linking some fundamental aspect of Dean himself rather than Dean’s choices to Kevin’s death. Crowley is trying to be cutting; Cas is trying to be supportive; Dean is both excusing himself and camouflaging that fact in his exhausting self-loathing. There is a complicated interplay of what the text says about Dean’s guilt and what it condemns; this pattern continues throughout s9, and reaches its apex in the next several episodes. Dean’s love as a condemning feature rather than a redeeming one is one of my favorite things about SPN, and s9 has it in HIGH gear.

But, here, at least, Sam doesn’t rise to this bait either. “Don’t go thinking that’s the problem, ‘cause it’s not.” The problem is obviously, achingly, exhaustingly clear. Sam’s spelled it out in this very conversation: you tricked me. You lied to me. You got me possessed when I was willing to die. But Dean, and a fair portion of the audience, can’t hear it. So he doesn’t. And they don’t, and they pretend that this line is some sort of puzzle! a cliffhanger on a conversation unfinished! when it was the conclusion, not the beginning.

image that is now inextricable from 9.10

#9.10 #final thoughts #I have even more to say tbh #sam and cas #sam and dean #dean and cas #sam and gadreel #sam and crowley #sam and possession #sam and abuse #dean and self-hatred #sam and forgiveness #sam and mindscapes #sam and trauma #blahdose

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Speak of the Devil (S2, E2)

Damn. I love this show.

As usual, my time stamped SPOILER FULL thoughts are below.

As always, I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if talk about depression/mania/suicidal ideation is going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading. 

0:14 - Hector’s back!! hahaha :) 

0:40 - So Martin is worried about Malcolm.....he could stop manipulating Malcolm if he’s so worried. That would make Malcolm feel slightly better at least. 

0:50 - What. A. Boss. That ambush was gorgeously executed *chef’s kiss*. haha how many times do you think Jessica has orchestrated this type of ambush on one of her children? 

0:52 - I love this outfit on Malcolm. Seriously - why is it sooo attractive when he’s not wearing a tie?

0:55 -........he’s not seeing Gabrielle....but but he had a lollipop last episode. Am I supposed to believe he buys his own lollipops? Maybe he bought some to throw the team off the scent? UGH. MALCOLM, SWEETHEART, GO BACK TO THERAPY. YOU’RE IN CRISIS. ....wait. I bet you he’s not seeing Gabrielle because she knows when he’s lying. He’s probably scared that he’ll end up telling her about Endicott. And I’m pretty sure that legally Gabrielle can’t keep a crime a secret regardless of doctor-patient confidentiality. 

1:02 - .....Malcolm didn’t know that he wasn’t paying his own therapy bills? WHO DID HE THINK WAS PAYING THEM?!?! Damn. Rich people, am I right?

1:10 - You ever wonder how many therapists Malcolm saw as a kid before they found Gabrielle? Just me? Cool.

1:15 - OMG. “Sexual in nature”?!?! Calm down Jess. He’s a grown ass man and even if it was sexual Malcolm sure as hell wouldn’t want to talk to his mother about his sex life. 

1:19 - Oh so now both of your kids are in a “good place”? Martin, less than a minute ago you were ‘worried’ about Malcolm. Further proof that Martin is a liar and we can’t believe anything he says. Ever. 

1:43 - Tom Payne’s physical acting during this interaction with Jessica is incredible. Ugh. Honestly, can I give him an Emmy myself? Look. Look at his face when he says, “You wouldn’t understand.” This is a teenage boy trying to hide something from his mom and is terrified that she’ll see the lie if he makes eye-contact. <3 

1:45 - You know, Jessica really isn’t a perfect mother (especially to Ainsley) but she does care about her kids. I love her for it. She actually shows more concern for her adult children than most parents with adult children that I’ve been exposed to. 

2:08 - I can’t decide if I love the music that was playing through that scene or if it’s just super cheesy and cringey. I mean “I did a bad bad thing” right as the title page rolls out? Kind of amazing but also super dorky. 

2:13 - So Mr. David hears this whole conversation. Malcolm talking about his guilt, Martin calling Malcolm a hero, and Malcolm saying that the only person he can talk to about his problems is Martin. Sooooo either

 Mr. David is being paid very well to keep quiet on Whitly family drama, 

 Mr. David stopped listening years ago.

 Mr. David is a moron who can’t connect the dots. OR

 Mr. David is going to blow this whistle on this fiasco to Jessica soon. I mean, he called her in the first season when Malcolm started visiting Martin. Mr. David has Jessica’s number...and I have a hunch that Mr. David cares about Malcolm. He’s watched Malcolm grow up into a troubled, bizarre, but very sweet man. 

2:14 - “Why are you calling me?” Malcolm sounds upset that Martin is calling him; so why pick up the phone? I mean, I guess Martin will call him back incessantly but still. 

2:19 - Malcolm’s completely honest version of how he’s doing mentally is heartbreaking. He “doesn’t recognize himself anymore”? Ugh. Baby. My heart is shattering. Someone hug him. OR TAKE HIM TO GABRIELLE.

2:30 - There is a moment when Malcolm says, “narcissistic psychopath” where is genuinely sounds like he’s about to have a complete breakdown. This boy is on the verge. My whump heart loves it and it makes me evil. 

2:56 - aaannnnnnd there’s Malcolm on the verge of tears. This boy. Ugh. <3 

3:00 - “It’s not going away Malcolm. The guilt. Take it from me.” Sooooo Mr. David isn’t a moron right? He’s going to connect the dots. He has to. ISTG Jessica keeps saying “No more lies” in the promos because Mr. David told her what he overheard. 

3:06 - And that is the face of a boy who is dead on the inside. Seriously, he’s spent his whole life trying to convince himself (and others) that he is nothing like his father. But here we are - all his fears confirmed and it’s killed him. 

3:20 - “Is this what you used?” Ainsley is talking about how Malcolm disposed of the body right? Because last episode she thanked Malcolm for covering for her. Sooooo she clearly knows that she killed Endicott even if she doesn’t remember it. I mean, she was covered in blood - Malcolm wasn’t. 

3:23.- OMG. Endicott was killed with the Milton family silver. hahahaha why is that so funny to me?

3:43 - Just how big is that gap in her memory? I’d truly like to know. When did she check out, when did she check in, and are those times different than what she’s letting Malcolm believe?

3:55 - Yeah - I still want to know why she moved in. COVID? Is she afraid she’s going to do something else murdery? Because surely, living in the house where you know you killed someone can’t be pleasant. Or easy. Unless of course Ainsley is more like Martin than we’d like to believe. 

4:09 - hahahahaha I am living for Malcolm’s facial response to Jessica saying, “I am in charge of boxes.”

4:22 - hahahaha Malcolm and Ainsley teasing Jessica about Gil is so precious. I love it. I wish they were always that happy. 

4:40 - Look at Malcolm’s face when he says, “You and a certain Lieutenant”. He’s practically giddy. Whether that’s because he’s thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to tease his mother OR because he’s always wanted Jessica and Gil to be together in that way that many children who grow up in single parent homes hope for a fairytale parental ending. My guess - a mixture of both.

4:45 - Ainsley looks delighted at the idea of Gil/Jessica too. I assume it’s because she loves the gossip and the opportunity to tease Jessica. BUT I also wonder what Ainsley’s relationship with Gil is like? Do they have one? 

4:58 - “Does he let you wear his turtlenecks?” OMG. bahahahaha comedic GOLD. 

5:10 - THIS. The evolution of JT and Malcolm’s friendship is everything. 10/10 would recommend. So sweet. LOOK AT HOW CONCERNED MALCOLM IS. <3 <3 Malcolm’s been calling JT?!?! UGH. This warms my cold dead heart.

5:20 - JT is a bad liar. This dude is not okay. 

5:27 - “When I say I’m fine, I’m always lying.” .....we already knew this but it hurts to hear Malcolm say is so nonchalantly. 

5:32 - JT does the sign of the cross....so he’s definitely religious. 

5:56 - “Holy...” “Watch it Bright.” hahaha how much do you want to bet that Gil took Malcolm to church once (1) time as a kid. It went so poorly that Gil never brought him again. Malcolm was probably questioning the priest and generally just asking a lot of “why” questions. 

6:15 - Gil is so done with the Edrisa+Bright banter. Look at his face - he’s just sooo tired. .....is Gil particularly cranky this episode because Jessica is dodging his phone calls?

6:23 - Malcolm looks pensive as soon as Gil mentions that the Father had been with the church for 30 years. Why? 

6:56 - I’m not going to lie. I’m really getting tired of the crap Dani (and even Gil in this episode - is he mad at Malcolm for avoiding him when he was hospital-bound? Or just cranky because Jessica isn’t calling him back?) are giving Malcolm. He’s asking a question relevant to the case. Sure - it’s not an easy question to ask but last season they wouldn’t have glared at him for asking it. I understand that Dani is upset with Malcolm for lying to her and she probably thinks he knows something about how Endicott died. I get it - Malcolm screwed up. BUT Dani’s reaction is so over the top. I understand where she’s coming from - she has trust issues. That doesn’t give her the right to treat him like garbage for the rest of his life. It’s been literally MONTHS. 

7:11 - “That’s not a no.”....Damn, he looks cute when he says that. 

7:30 - I LOVE that Malcolm knows so much about the Bible and Catholicism even though he’s not a believer. It makes me think he investigated a ton of religions as a kid - looking for relief from his trauma. I respect that he did the research and I respect that he doesn’t (openly at least) think other people are moronic/short-sighted for believing in God(s). 

7:56 - I’ll be honest, my first reaction to Jonah was: “Why does he look and sound like he’s dying?”

8:03 - “Catholic.” haha I love some good religious comedy. BUT AGAIN GIL, THAT GLARE IS SO NOT NECESSARY. That wasn’t a ‘warning - you’re being insensitive’ glare. That was a ‘I’m your father and you’re in sooo much trouble’ glare. I love Gil with my whole heart but everyone is being a dick to Malcolm today (minus JT and Edrisa) and I’m done with it. Malcolm’s fragile mental state can’t handle it. Be nice to my boy. 

8:35 - Is this Gil’s church?!? Why does he know all the church staff by name? He either attends this church or someone gave him an amazing briefing before he got to the church.

9:34 - At least Gil knows something is wrong with Malcolm. 

9:41 - What? That’s it? No. Gil - press on. Don’t accept Malcolm’s “I’m fine”.

10:18 - I wish this scene didn’t end with Gil’s look of disbelief and concern. I wish we got to see Gil tell Malcolm not to go see Martin. I wish we got a more concrete papa!Gil moment. 

10:42 - Something about the fact that Martin is tethered to a pole like a tether-ball is hilarious to me. Also - why are some prisoners not tied up? The inmate talking to Friar Pete has no rope. 

10:52 - Ugh. When exactly did Martin give Malcolm “The Talk”? Like how old was Malcolm? How traumatic was it? Ugh. It’s very upsetting to remember that Martin acted like a good father to Malcolm for a good portion of the first 10 years of Malcolm’s life. It really doesn’t help Malcolm’s PTSD. 

11:00 - That’s right Malcolm. Don’t let Martin ramble. Stand your ground. <3 So proud of Malcolm <3

11:15 - Listen to the way Malcolm says, “Who is that?”. He’s some combination of resigned and scared. I love it. 

11:33 - Friar Pete is so creepy. The way he just walks up to Malcolm until his rope goes taught?! UGH. Poor Malcolm looks so done with this whole situation. He’s rolling his eyes and grimacing at various points throughout this scene. He has some major sass right now and I’m here for it. 

 11:41 - “You two should talk!” ....Is this Martin’s really eff-ed up way of trying to help Malcolm with his guilt about Endicott? I don’t like it.....and Malcolm’s face tells me he doesn’t either. 

12:48 - Is that true? Can churches really not exorcise people without medical permission in the current day?  I thought exorcisms were just banned? IDK - I’m a Christian, my branch of faith doesn’t do exorcisms. 

13:33 - YES! A JT AND MALCOLM SCENE. <3 <3 I’m unreasonably happy about this. 

13:45 - sooooooo is this Norman’s real home and his real mother? The first time I watched it I thought it was some sort of weird catholic-inpatient facility but now I’m not sure. 

15:10 - Ok. I can’t hold back anymore. Malcolm’s shoes. They. Are. Awful. I understand - Tom Payne is a short guy. He probably needs heels to fit in the shot. I’m not mad about the heels. I’m made that they gave him very very ugly heels. Is it just me? These shoes are hideous. 

15:14 - “Hi Norman.” .....Malcolm is so soft here and I’m in love with it. My cold dead heart is melting. Also JT’s freaked-out look in this scene is everything. 

15:25 - There’s something about the way Malcolm says “Good.” that just hits me really hard. It’s beautiful. He sounds and looks a little scared but he’s also really calm and professional and it’s just...*chef’s kiss*. 

16:44 - “He’s clearly mentally-ill.” I love this. I love that Malcolm is defending the person with a severe mental illness because he doesn’t have any proof that Norman committed a crime. It also breaks my heart. Makes me think of how many people dismissed or judged Malcolm poorly throughout his life because Malcolm’s mental illnesses. Even though they weren’t quite as extreme as Norman’s.

16:54 - I love this. JT is telling Malcolm to stay behind the line partially out of fear (because this whole Norman situation is clearly freaking JT out big time) but also partially because he just cares about Malcolm. I love their friendship and it’s evolution. SO. MUCH. 

17:21 - Is there a mirror of something? How the hell did Norman know that Malcolm crossed the salt? Was it the slight creaking in the floorboards?

17:54 - Dude. Is every suspect this season going to accuse Malcolm of being a killer? First Boyd, now Norman. This is not helping Malcolm’s mental state or his ability to hide his guilt from the team. 

18:30 - “Malcolm Bright. Always crossing the line.” lol. I love JT here. He’s half-teasing Malcolm. Makes me think that he subtly trying to tell Malcolm that he isn’t the killer Norman says that he is. 

18:44 - I DO NOT LIKE THIS. LOOK AT HOW SCARED MALCOLM IS WHEN HE WALKS INTO THE ROOM. A ROOM WITH GIL AND DANI IN IT. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF THEM. 

19:00 - “What the hell do you have?”. Wow. Okay. No. I love Gil. I understand that he loves Malcolm like a son and he’s scared for Malcolm and Malcolm’s mental state. But this question is so over the line. Gil knows damn well what Malcolm’s mental diagnoses are. It feels like he’s accusing Malcolm of being crazy. I don’t like it. 

19:17 - “Are you serious?” Ok. Dani really needs to start being nicer to Malcolm. She doesn’t have to trust him but some professional civility would be great. I really don’t like how hard the writers are pushing this tension between Dani and Malcolm. It makes Dani look so immature. An adult would be pissed but get over the anger after literal months. The relationship wouldn’t necessarily be the same but it sure as hell wouldn’t be this hostile.

19:40 - Something about Malcolm being the calmest person in the room is both comforting and upsetting. 

19:55 - “My father gave it to me.”.....that’s so not going to help Gil’s concern about Malcolm.

20:50 - This is cute. We don’t get to see enough of Jessica and Ainsley acting like a semi-normal mother-daughter duo. I love it. 

21:00 - “We are WASPs. It’s. What. We. Do.” OMG. Hahahaha 

21:05 - I love how invested Ainsley is in the Gil/Jessica relationship. It’s so clear that she wants her Mom to be happy and I love it. It also makes me wonder if she ever wanted Gil to be her real dad as a kid.

21:30 - Damn. This episode is creepy.

21:45 - First clue that this is a dream - Malcolm says “we” but he’s alone. 

21:57 - ...are Nuns allowed to paint their nails? #GenuineQuestion

22:14 - Not going to lie. This made me cry. I relate to Malcolm so damn much here. I’ve had a severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember (seriously I saw my first therapist - against my will - at the age of 4). I’ve also had chronic depression for almost as long. AND I’m a christian. I can’t tell you how many times other christians have told me to “cast my worries on the Lord” and “be free” of my pain. Or that I don’t really believe in God because I’m still suffering so visibly. The problem is - I don’t know if I want to be free. I’ve had these issues so long that I’m genuinely not sure who I’d be without them. It’s how I define myself. It affects every aspect of my personality. I feel like Malcolm might feel the same way - he doesn’t want to suffer anymore but he’s afraid of finding out who he is without the pain. 

22:17 - Okay. So there’s Gil’s voice. So Gil+ Malcolm = “we”. As though I’m supposed to believe that Gil would split up with Malcolm when they’re looking for a nun, who isn’t even a suspect, at a church. Nah. I don’t buy it. This is clearly a dream. 

22:30 - “You have to tell them what you did.”...and then we see the knife. Does this mean Malcolm is slowly convincing himself that he killed Endicott. Not Ainsley? Either way - I agree with nightmare-Ainsley. The team loves Malcolm but they’re also detectives. They’ll figure out what happened. And when they do - yikes. 

22:46 - I hate this. All season suspects have been calling Malcolm evil. Martin has been calling Malcolm a “hero”. Malcolm’s guilt is eating him alive. Simultaneously, the people who are supposed to trust and care about him (Dani, Gil, the precinct, Jessica) have all shown signs of doubting him. Dani alone has pointed a gun at Malcolm’s head. Now she’s wearing body armour? AND LOOK AT THE OTHER COPS. THEY ALL HAVE THEIR HANDS ON THEIR GUNS AS THOUGH MALCOLM IS A CRIMINAL. A THREAT. DANGEROUS. This is very bad for Malcolm’s mental health......God, the whump-whore in me hopes he has a major panic attack or something this season. 

23:23 - I love this scene. This is the papa!Gil content I’m here for. 

23:51 - JT expressing fear and concern for his unborn child makes my heart grow several sizes. Look at his puppy dog eyes here? Ugh. So precious. This whole JT arc is heartbreaking and beautiful. I love it.

24:15 - Sooooo JT knows about Jessica right? He’s a detective and a husband. He so knows. hahaha this is so cute. 

24:19 - Gil. You. Are. A. Liar......and you’ve been really grumpy this episode but I’m going to forgive you because I love you. 

24:28 - GIL. You’ve waited 20 years. How much longer can you wait for Jessica?!?!

24:35 - Maybe JT didn’t know? At least - not until Gil rambled on about waiting? JT looks like he just connected all the dots and he’s super uncomfortable.

24:43 -...... so she verbally attacks him all episode then drives him home and acts like she did toward Malcolm by mid-season 1? I’m getting whiplash. 

25:18 - This scene is so cute. They actually made the real life version of heart-eyes at each other. And Malcolm pours her a glass of water. Because 1) she’s driving and 2) she’s a recovering addict. He’s so casually respectful and I love it. 

25:28 - “Are you any different?” Ouch. Look at how hurt Malcolm is. :( Although, props to Dani for confronting him about it. Someone needed to and she’s being really calm and caring about it. 

26:10 - Dani’s little speech about being a black woman feels a little forced? Like the writers put it in so she doesn’t feel left out compared to JT? Idk, the whole thing just seemed not quite believable. Probably because when JT was racially profiled Dani - a black woman - pulled out her badge and all the white cops listened to her. It just doesn’t track. They wouldn’t have listened to her if they were racist and bold enough to attack JT in the first place.

26:47 - Anyone else think that all those lit candles are a fire hazard? Just me? Cool cool cool. 

 27:21 - Yo. This is stupid. I understand why this happened - because the plot needed it to happen. BUT WHY DID ALL THREE ARMED COPS LEAVE THREE UNARMED PEOPLE ALONE?!? And when does a team of 4 split into a group of 3 and 1??! It makes no logical sense (except for plot purposes).

28:03 - Creepy. 

28:30 - Oh. HELL no. This is absolute bs. My entire heart is breaking for JT.

29:05 - I really like how chill this Priest is. Like - he respects that Malcolm’s a disbeliever and he’s willing to talk to him without trying to convert him. 

29:55 - Listen to how upset JT sounds here!! :( :( :( My heart. :( 

30:08 - Ok so how did she end up tied in the closet and not murdered? 

30:40 - ....so did Jonah ruin that painting while Sister Agnes was in the closet or is the Sister just a moron who didn’t say anything about the guy ruining the painting?!?

30:50 - Sooooo Jonah is an “expert”. He taught Sister Agnes how to safely handle the lead-based paint. Yet - he didn’t use the protection? We saw him with a gas mask at the beginning of the episode? Did the sister not notice that he wasn’t using the protection? So much of this doesn’t track. Thankfully, I don’t watch this show for the “murder of the week” plot line.

31:30 - Malcolm is a good dude. Even now. He’s trying to help Jonah. <3 Heart of gold. 

32:25 - Martin - shut. up. 

32:45 - Friar Pete is a creepy treasure. I love him. 

33:24 - “Oh you’ve gotta be kidding.” hahaha I feel you Malcolm. I feel you. 

33:34 - Not gonna lie - when I watched this the first time all I could think is “How the eff does Malcolm remember everything Pete just said?” Maybe it’s just me but I would need Pete to go 1-2 words at a time. And slowly. ....maybe Malcolm took Latin in school? 

24:06 - Oh so all the killers this season are also going to accuse Malcolm of being a killer and/or evil. 

34:40 - Damn. I wish the team walked in right as Malcolm was screaming “the power of Christ compels you!!!”.

35:15 - I. Love. This. Gil screaming on the phone is everything. Him going to bat for JT is everything. Malcolm saying “This is bad”?!? *chef’s kiss*. ISTG Malcolm’s been scolded by Gil when Gil is that mad at some point during his teen years. 

35:53 - “I’ll take care of it.” JT. Is. My. Hero. What an absolute king. He’s going to take care of it, even though he’s terrified, because he needs to protect his family. Not just Tally and the baby. But little sister Dani too. <3 My heart is full. 

36:11 - ....okay so not to ruin a totally beautiful and profound scene but every time I’ve watched this scene JT doing that lean into the wall is very weird to me. Because he turns to face the camera. If he just slid down the wall or just leaned his head against the wall - it wouldn’t have felt so strange. It honestly distracts me from the scene. Every. Time. 

36:18 - This is hot garbage. I don’t even want to rewatch this scene because it makes me so upset. 

37:51 - I understand where Jessica is coming from but I also think she’s being a moron. I will say though, I respect the hell out of Gil for walking away when asked. A lot of men wouldn’t but he respects Jessica even if he doesn’t like what he’s hearing. So he left because she asked him to. 

39:00 - If this isn’t a red flag for Jessica about Ainsley’s mental health idk what is. 

39:25 - Poor Malcolm looks like he’s on the verge of tears here. :( I’m genuinely scared that Malcolm is becoming suicidal. He’s reaching the level of depressed and guilt where I think it’s a possibility. I genuinely think he’d rather kill himself to stop his guilt and suffering than to admit it to Gil, Jessica, JT, or Dani. ...for legal reasons he definitely can’t tell Gabrielle. 

40:00 - Sooooo Martin is finally suggesting that it was his idea to dispose of the body. I hope it’s the truth. 

40:05 - Martin is a piece of trash. He really needs to stop playing with Malcolm’s head. It’s literally killing Malcolm. 

40:50 - Oh. SHIT. Malcolm just clapped back hard. I am so so proud of him. ...also concerned about this deep anger in him though.

 41:46 - I swear - if we don’t get a Gil and Martin face-off when Martin breaks out, I will lose my mind. It’s one of the top things I want from this show. A Martin+Gil showdown. 

Ok. So I kind of loved this episode? Even though there were...many plot holes and things that annoyed me about it. Is it just me or has this season felt much darker than last season so far? It makes sense given last season’s finale but it’s still thrown me a bit. 

BUT I CAN NOT WAIT FOR 2x3. That promo. Ugh. <3 <3 We’re going to get traumatized teen!Malcolm content and I’m a sick bastard who is living for it. 

#jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #prodigal son #gil arroyo #dani powell #JT Tarmel #ainsley whitly #martin whitly #edrisa tanaka #jessica whitly #I LOVE this show #whump #rewatch #spoliers #malcolm needs a hug #ps #so good #2x02 #2x2 #speak of the devil #s2

[el-therodactylus]

Howdy stranger! 1, 15, 27, 40, 41, 45, 54 (the answer is no but answer if u want anyways lol), 64, 82, and 97. You don't have to answer all of them ofc, just pick favorites I guess.

Oooh thank you so much for the ask, you picked the hard ones, that's so cool ! Sorry for my english, it's not my native language, but i'm tryin' !

1. Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance ?

It tortured me for a while, I felt totally overwhelmed by it, but growing up I got used to it, and I realized that it’s not so unpleasant, to have no influence, no impact on something so immense. It’s actually quite reassuring ! And it’s good to know that with or without us, some things will not change.

We are all insignificant on one scale, all important on another ...

15. Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both?

I like to think I’m special to the things and the people for who that matters. I’m special for my parents, for my plants, a little bit for me too I guess. But on a larger scale, I’m not that much ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It doesn't really matter, i've always feel better that way.

I guess we all can be both, once again, it’s just a question of scale. You can easily be special in your family, your friends circle, and being no one at a larger scale.

27. Are you afraid of growing old?

Yes, and No, and Yes again.

Yes, because, I’m not really in a stable situation, I’m just a student, who has no idea what to do with his life. Every day that passes is a day when I do not understand better what I will become ... It scares me.

No, because, this situation can only change if I grow old, and one day I will have a job, a home, a stable and reassuring context to live in.

And .. Yes again, because .. I am reassuring myself by thinking that things will be easier later, but ... I’ve been telling myself that for 23 years and life spends its time proving the opposite !

40. What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’?

Oh god, that's one is so hard. Can I still say it’s a question of scale ?

I think that no one is really good in the eyes of everyone. Being good at the eyes of certain person implied that you're not at the eyes of others ..

In my opinion, a good person is just someone who doesn't make others suffer. But it’s very summarized and a bit reductive ... I mean, you can act like a good person, and think like a dork (i don't know that much insults in english, I'm not even sure that it's one, hope it's not offensive, i really don't know xD) ; but does that matters if you keep your thought for you ? Sounds like the Paradox of tolerance…

And, on a certain way, that's just the definition of “Not being bad”, not really of “being good” …

I personally don't think I'm a good person, I’m white, european, I was raised with bias, that sort of thing. I’m kinda misanthrope btw, and if i’m truly doing my best to not being bad, I cannot consider that i’m good.

41. What fundamentally matters do you?

I’m not sure I’m understanding this one… It seems to be kinda vague or is it just me ?

Wow, I’m thinking, and I realize I don’t care about a lot of things.

I guess we're supposed to answer something like "My family" or "My friends" ?

If it's this kind of question, I’ll look like a monster, but like ... My stuff ? I give a lot of importance to some of my possessions, even insignificant ones, because all these things have, at least, a small symbolic in my eyes. Humans are cool, but that train ticket which brings back some memories, isn't it even cooler ?

If the question is more about the things we need to be happy like "Money", "Time to do what I love", I guess my answer is just... some calm ? A peaceful place, a time without too many anxiety sources.

45. Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for?

No, I don’t care at all. Let’s keep room in our minds for the things and the people who really matter, who have done something important.

(If I had to be remembered, I'd hope It would be for something truly dumb, "Darwin awards style" : "The guy that died muffled under 2548 plushies" sounds good.)

54. Can human really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time?

You've said it : No. I truly wanted to develop but like .. There is nothing more to say, all of that is just too much, and every mystery just hides another one ...

64. How consistent is your perception of time?

Another one I’m not sure I understand, but my perception of time is a freaking chaos. Sometimes, it's just like there is no perception at all. Time is both something completely absurd and too impractical.

82. Are you a deep person?

I hope ! And I like to think that I am. But, isn't that kinda .. narcissist ? And, on another hand, Wouldn’t everyone be a little deep ? Humans are so complex, I only know a few people that are "simple" and they still are complex on a certain way.

By the way, compared to these people, I’m not so deep. In my actions, my way of thinking, I'm someone pretty logical and mathematical. Nothing really complicated. Knowing me, It's easy to guess what I'm thinking of something …

97. Are you overly analytical?

Ahaha. No. Not. At. All. *Ironic laughter* 🐸

I’ve always blamed it on autism, but yes, I’m over analyzing everything.

Sometimes, it's truly practical, being able to analyze a "complex" situation to make a decision is the best way to not make a mistake.

Sometimes, it goes to far. Reading ten times a message, like "Ok, see you tomorrow" because "Oh god there is no smiley, does they hate me ? But there is not punctuation, don't seem like they angry" etc …

And like, choosing what you're going to wear tomorrow is not supposed to take an hour, but you know .. It depends on the weather, on where you'll be, at which hour.. If I have a class in a computer room, it will be hot, but less if it's the morning or if it's north-facing ... And it's that for everything, every social interaction, every tiny decision. That’s not healthy, and I’m tired just talking about it x)

Oh gosh It was something to answer all this! Thanks again for these great questions. I feel like I’ve questioned things (including my ability to express myself in english) and that’s so satisfying. I want to think about all of that even more ! Tysm ♥

(It was missing something, so here is an happy doggo)

#Lieu noir #ask game #THAT WAS AWESOME #Tysm #indigopurple #way easier than el-therodactylus #actuallyautistic #Someone who speaks french can tell me how to say in english ? #Yes the fish #Don't ask me why #I love those kind of game #🐸

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The OTHER Members of Eve’s Coven

Me and @lilmissrantsypants couldn’t fit all the coven in as cameos in chapter 3, so here’s a rundown on the members who didn’t make an appearance. I added some of the stuff that inspired us into making the characters, My wife just went crazy with descriptions for her characters.

Aleister & Tantomile Deering: A pair of twins who were orphaned during WWII. They had to scrape by to survive, with Tantomile whoring herself out for drug money. They were turned when Aleister begged for help as his sister was overdosing. They were plagued by psychic visions as mortals, their powers awakening fully when they were turned. They are practically inseperable nowadays.

Power: Aleister and Tantomile have innate psychic abilities, activated by touching someone. Tantomile can see into a person’s past, while Aleister can see multiple outcomes the future could hold and then latch on to the most likely scenario. Their vampiric power is a twin link that allows them to experience the emotions the other one does, as well as keep them connected.

Inspiration: The psychic cat twins Tantomile and Coripocat from Cats 

My wife came up with the basic concept and we workshopped them together from there; it’s a joint effort. She does Tantomile, I do Aleister.

Bartholomew Comstock: An overly aggressive puritan who was despised by his fellow townsfolk, he was banished from his New England home and forced to start a farm on his own. He nearly perished in the winter before Eve turned him. His hatred at being a disgusting, demonic creature such as a vampire is only ameliorated by his knowledge that Eve, having once been the angel Samael, ‘confirms’ his beliefs and allows him to eternally punish those he views as sinners.

Power: He believes his power gives him great strength against sinners, allowing him to inflict pain upon those who have done foul deeds. In truth, it is actually his own sins that give him strength, though his power does weaken as he exerts himself or runs low on blood (he cannot become unstoppably powerful).

Inspiration: The dad from The VVitch

Beatrix Cullen: Beatrix Cullen was a happy woman once, a skilled seamstress in the 1950s who simply loved the act of creation. She had an adoring boyfriend, and the two were set to be married, with Beatrix making a gorgeous wedding dress for her special day. But on that day, her groom never arrived, as he had been killed in a car accident on the way. Stricken by grief, Beatrix was easily convinced by Eve to join her coven, with the promise that perhaps her power could help her bring her husband back some day...

Power: Beatrix can imbue any object such as a sculpture or statue with life, essentially making golems without a magic scroll. Her most trusted golem is her mannequin, Manny, who often tries to steal her wedding dress. Her ultimate goal is to use her natural skills and her power to bring her husband back to life, stitching a Frankenstein monster of him and pieces of sleazy men who hit on her into a perfect flesh golem.

Inspirations: The bride from the Haunted Mansion, Kill Bill, Frankenstein, that one Tumblr post about 50s housewives fighting zombies with chainsaws, La Pascualita, Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh

Blanche Atterton: Daughter of Lady Drusilla Atterton, she grew up wanting nothing more than her mother’s love, though her mother was often far too preoccupied with “other things” (which she later learned was all of her plotting and planning to ensure her riches).When given the choice for vampirism, she excitedly vowed her loyalty to her mother and Eve. As she was only 15 at the time and children would not survive the turning, her mother waited until she turned 21 before turning her.Blanche does everything for her mother’s attention and love. She doesn’t hesitate to do her bidding in hopes of her mother praising her for it. She’s misguided, not evil, though her mother’s praise has given her a superiority complex and she’s a bit of a narcissist.

Power:  Blanche’s power gives her a powerful, painful scream. Those within 5 feet of her screaming will suffer from temporary deafness for 5 minutes. Whether they fall deaf or not, bleeding from the ears is very common, especially among mortals.

Inspiration: Drizella from Cinerella

Dee Comporre: Giorgio Nero’s faithful, somewhat obsessed bodyguard. She quite obviously has a crush on him due to her hatred of any woman who so much as interacts with Giorgio, though Giorgio just sees her as being a bit overprotective. She has a shaved head, and paints her face to look like a skull.

Power: She can secrete and spit a powerful corrosive acid that can melt through even metal.

Inspirations: D’Compose from InHumanoids

Dorian Ferris: A serial killer known as “The Ferryman,” who always leaves coins over his victim’s eyes. As a mortal, he had far too many close calls, and was nearly caught several times, particularly during a bout in a town back in 1999. He tends to target wicked people such as domestic abusers, rapists, crooked cops, and so on, sending them down the River Styx ahead of time to make the world a better place. He willingly joined the coven to escape punishment. More than anything, he just wishes to live a quiet, peaceful life.

Power: Has luck manipulation, which can allow him to do everything from dodge attacks by near misses or turn his surroundings into a Final Destination movie for opponents. He tends to activate a particular mode based on the whims of a coin toss. 

Inspirations: Jinx from Teen Titans, Final Destinatiin, Two-Face, Yoshikage Kira

Elizabeth Bathory:   The Blood Countess herself. After evading death in the 1600s thanks to Eve, she became a loyal follower of the demon, and was recruited into the Order of the 1800s. Dracula and Rasputin managed to defeat her and supposedly kill her, but Bathory is notoriously hard to slay. True to her infamous reputation, she tends to “Feed” by bathing in the blood of her victims. 

Power:Bathing in blood gives her an insane power boost; the longer she soaks, the stronger she gets. She can also absorb blood through her skin, though she can’t absorb the blood of supernatural beings this way.

Elvis Rey: Growing up near the border, Elvis always wanted to be like his hero, Elvis PResley. He obsessively watched the man’s performances and learned his every move. When the man died, he vowed he was going to become the greatest Elvis impersonator that ever lived. The 80s weren’t too kind to him, and drinking, gambling, and overeating left him looking like chubby later-years Elvis. With debt collectors crawling down his neck, he turned to Eve, and became a powerful vampire.

Power: He is capable of replicating any non-supernatural ability he sees. For example, if he watched a martial arts movie, he would be able to pull off those moves. Think the comic book character Taskmaster. 

Inspirations: Elvis (Presley), Elvis (God Hand)

Giorgio Nero: Giorgio Nero was a member of Cosa Nostra who attempted to retire from this life due to his wife and child. However, his past would eventually catch up with him, and his child was nearly killed, which lead to Giorgio accepting an offer he had once rejected, but now couldn’t refuse: vampirism and joining with Eve’s coven. Despite everything, he is an honorable man who dearly loved his wife and adores and accepts his child.

Power: You know Magneto? Like from X-Men? Imagine that but instead of a Holocaust survivor it’s an Italian guy. Boom.

Inspirations: Magneto, Risotto Nero from Vento Aureo, Metlar from InHumanoids

James Wilson: James was born in 1812 as a slave. When he was 8, he was gifted to the man one of his master’s daughters married, along with 13 other slaves. As his former master’s name was Wilson, he took that as his surname. He worked as a stablehand until he became a farmer at age 12. After a rather brutal beating when he accidentally dropped a bag of freshly picked potatoes at age 25, James encountered Eve. She promised to help free him. She turned him into a vampire (1837). He lived on the run until the Emancipation Proclamation was issued and went into full effect in 1863. James used to speak in thick, Gullah speech, but over time, it has lessened as he acquired modern language.

Power: James’s power gives him the ability to summon and play with water. He can use it however he wishes: to drown someone, to create a small unnatural pool to swim in, or to cool someone off with a quick sprinkle. This comes from his silent love for water, though he wasn’t ever allowed to swim or play in it.

Inspiration: Splash Mountain

Juno Nero: The child of Giorgio Nero. They tend to wear long black coats, masks, and facial bandages to hide their face and body due to extreme anxiety. They are mute as well, and communicate via sign language. They are nonbinary.

Power: They can stretch their body like rubber (think Elastigirl, Rubber Band Man, Plastic Man, you get the idea).

Inspiration: Tendril from InHumanoids

Lady Drusilla Atterton: Born in 1852 in England as Drusilla Graham to a middle-class family. She grew up idolizing the wealthy and decided she would do whatever it took to become wealthy herself.Met Josiah Kipling, a 28 year old man, when she was 22. He fell madly in love with her. She was overjoyed as he was quite wealthy. They married in 1874 and had two daughters together (Katharine [1875] and Blanche [1877]). However, after 8 years of marriage (1882), Drusilla (now age 30) fell out of love with him and secretly laced his food with rat poison, ultimately killing him. As they had personal chefs, it was deemed to be the fault of the chef, who was arrested and charged with the crime. As his widow, she inherited a share of his wealth.Over the next 10 years (1882-1892), Drusilla married 8 other wealthy men from all over the country, all who mysteriously died less than a year later in what were deemed to be unfortunate accidents.

Donald Thompson, married in 1883, died in a carriage accident.

Maurice Parker, married in 1884, died of a laudanum overdose.

Timothy Edwards, married in 1886, died by drowning

Christopher Watson, married in 1887, died by falling out of a second story window

Nathaniel Harris, married in 1888, died of apparent suicide

Bernard Carter, married in 1890, died of a hunting accident

Percy Clarke, married in 1891, died after being attacked by a burglar

Timothy Atterton, married in 1892, died in bed (cause unknown)

She met Eve in 1892 shortly after marrying Timothy Atterton. Eve had heard of her reputation as the Cursed Widow (but knew full well her husbands’ deaths were her doing). As Eve was extremely weakened, Amon turned her. With Eve’s assistance, she killed her final husband by scaring him to death by introducing him to Eve. Drusilla vowed her loyalty.With the knowledge of how to turn another from Eve (as Amon refused to tell her how), Drusilla offered the gift of vampirism to each of her daughters. Katharine ( refused and cut herself off from her mother, instead choosing to live a full and honest life. Blanche, on the other hand, being so keen to be accepted and loved by her mother vowed her own loyalty to both her mother and Eve. When she turned 21, Drusilla turned her as well (as she was informed that youth would not survive the turning).

Power: Her  power allows her to paralyze her target with a simple cold stare for a full 5 minutes.

Inspiration: Lady Tremaine from Cinderella

Lord Gordon Ruthven: A rich, aristocratic vampire who enjoyed luring in and preying on young women. He was part of the Order of the 19th century. He is currently a severed head, as his body was destroyed by the Silverwings.

Power: Can exude a charm aura that makes women more susceptible to his commands and desires, though it only works on women capable of being attracted to him (it would not work on lesbains, for instance).

Mabel Lockhart: A sickly young girl whose father made a deal with Eve to keep her from dying. Her dad is currently missing, and she is unsure if he’s even alive.

Power: She has the ability to absorb energy, such as steam energy, electrical energy, etc and gain boosts and power depending on what type she absorbs. For example, absorbing electrical energy would allow her to to shoot lightning. She can also absorb a person’s energy, but at most she can make them very lethargic and gets little else from absorbing that sort of energy.

Inspiration: Loosely based on the Pokemon Magearna

Maddox Hinton: Maddox was born in 1863 in a small town in England. He doesn’t talk much about his past, but he does boast about how he and his father were valued hypnotists in their small town. He was his father’s apprentice, learning how the art of hypnotism worked, though he wasn’t quite as successful as his father. This was what Eve used to convince him to turn to vampirism. It occurred when he was 25 and preparing to take over the family business.His power helped him convince his customers that they were actually under the effects of hypnotism. His father simply believed that taking over the business helped him tap into his true potential. 

He continued this way until Eve demanded his help. He lied to his dad, telling him he was going to travel abroad and spread their business, causing his father to take over the business once again.Maddox served Eve for a few years before she told him she didn’t need his help anymore. It was likely this that irritated him so much that he eventually became loyal to Amon while under the very convincing facade he’s loyal to Eve.

The rest of his past is unknown. All he will often tell people is he traveled all over the world, performing great feats under fake names as “world-renown hypnotists”. Maddox is a wild card. He does things for the fun of it or for his own pleasure, often without any sympathy towards others.

Power: Maddox’s power allows him to take control of another (similarly to Gabby’s). However, he can take control of up to two people at once. Instead of physically puppeteering them, he simply suggests they do something and they do it.

Inspiration: Vex from Lost Girl

Margaret Derwin: Margaret was born in New York City in 1902. She grew up with a love for music, particularly singing. She had dreams of becoming a famous singer.When she was 18, she pursued these dreams. She got a job as a dancer at a speakeasy with hopes of, eventually, being able to become one of their singers in time. It was there that she met Elizabeth, one of the other dancers. They secretly fell in love (which answered Margaret’s confusion about why she wasn’t interested in men). Eventually, they decided to run away to California together. They made plans and prepared for this, but on the day it was to happen, Elizabeth never showed up. Margaret later discovered she had changed her mind and, instead, was going to marry a man she’d met at the speakeasy.Eve found Margaret heartbroken and wandering the streets looking for a new job after quitting at the speakeasy (as it was too difficult to continue working there when Elizabeth was still there). Eve easily wooed her to her side. Though, as Margaret had good intentions, Amon had eventually been able to convince her to assist him instead as he wanted to ensure Eve would stop preying on innocent people like herself.

Power:  Margaret’s power involves her voice. Through singing, she can influence one’s emotions depending on her intentions (anger them, seduce them, calm them down, soothe them to sleep).

Nora: Nora’s memories are very faded. She knows she was born to a very poor family in Ireland. She knows she was sold as an indentured servant at age 13 in exchange for her tickets to America, board, and food. She knows she worked for that American family for 7 years. She knows she caught influenza and was promptly fired by the family for fear she’d infect them all. She knows she was near death, wandering the streets alone, when a massive black snake promised to save her. At the time, Nora believed it was just an illusion. She found out the next day, however, that it was not. She’d been saved by the gift of vampirism.Nora lived a long, long time as a homeless woman. She watched as America grew into a country of its own. She preyed on any she could find in order to survive. Eventually, she took residence in an abandoned house on a street. Over time, rumors spread that a ghost lived in the house on Blackwell Street. Her appearance and her power did much to add to this as well, as did the occasional mysterious deaths of those who wandered into the house hoping to catch a glimpse of the ghost.

Power: Nora’s power allows her to become visible or invisible on command. She can only switch from one to the other every 10 minutes. She often uses this to frighten mortals and uphold her identity as the Ghost of Blackwell Street.

Tony Sugar:  Tony Sugar is the owner, spokesman, and iconic figure of the Lost Paradise Candy Company. With the help of Amon, he became one of the first successful Black candy makers in America. He’s very flamboyant, campy, and charismatic—essentially a black Willy Wonka. He is pansexual because, in his own words, “everyone deserves a little Sugar.” He is also an avid beekeeper.

Power:  He has the power to “mellify” corpses, filling them with a honey-like substance and turning them into zombies.

Inspirations: Tony Todd’s Candyman, Ruby Rhod, the song “Sweet Bod,” the myth of the mellified man

Walter Sherman: Formerly a college professor and devoted family man from the dawn of the 20th century, Walter was a good man known for always thinking forward and being able to accept new changes in the world. However, when a freak accident claimed the life of his wife and child, he couldn’t handle it and attempted suicide before being saved by Amon. He’s mostly in the coven out of loyalty to Amon.

Power: He has the power of adaptability, allowing him to easily adapt to any situation. For example, using lightning against him would make him adapt lightning resistance.

Inspirations: The Carousel of Progress

Wayne Nicol: A formerly friendly clown who was forced to witness unspeakable horrors during WWII. He survived the horrors, but was left fundamentally disturbed by the nightmare he had lived through. He joined the coven hoping to find some sort of safety, but as it turned out, Eve had other plans.

Power: Has the power to control and manipulate a person’s fears to weaponize against them.

Inspirations: Scarecrow (Batman), Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, The Day the Clown Cried

#The vampirino story

[readersguidetotheuniverse]

Folie a Trois: a group read of... More Than Maybe by Erin Hahn

The supporting characters

Ariadna: From Zack to Meg, Phil to Marcus... I really liked that the supporting characters had background and depth... for a YA romance novel, that it is. Ok, they are not the deepest, most exceptional characters –they are a little bit stereotyped, and everything is sooo rose-coloured tinted–, but I appreciate how the relationships between them are depicted and how every one of them has their own unique quirks and background story. Nevertheless, I must add... I think Hahn’s attempt to make all the characters these goody-two-shoes has made some characters sort of a decaf version of what they should realistically be, see Charlie Greenly, Phil Josephs, Cullen... At times they were so soft they became even boring to me. I understand Hahn’s religious views, but honestly, no one is that good.

Alicia: I liked the supporting characters quite a lot, actually, all of them. In many young adult novels you find rather flat secondary characters that only exist to complement the main characters, but not in this one. All of them were complex, with their own defined personalities and their own stories. There were a few moments when I got a bit irritated by someone's actions, Cullen uploading Luke's song behind his back, for example. But real people are flawed and make mistakes so it's only fair that fictional characters do, too. 

Marina: First off, I have to say I loved all the secondary characters. I have to agree with Ariadna though, they are not overly deep but they get you right on the feels. I especially enjoyed seeing the different relationships between them –Zach and Cullen <3–. To be honest I found it a bit frustrating that they all kept telling Vada how amazing she is and how well she’s doing but it takes Luke, a person whom she’s officially met recently, to stand up to her dead-beat father. Talking about fathers, Phil is an amazing father figure and I’m really glad he at least encouraged Vada to follow her dreams. On a side note, can I just say that the first time I read about Cullen and Zach I pictured a more lanky version of Emmett Cullen dating Zeke (from high School Musical)? And that’s why I found it hilariously amusing when they started talking about Teen Wolf. Whatever happened to those DVDs?!

The ‘Bad Apple’ club aka Charlie Greenly

Ariadna: We all grasp to certain extent how business —corporate, big-money businesses— work, and it is understandable Charlie’s nasty partners took advantage of a teen’s rage burst, but, oh, man, how it bothered me when they tried to ruin poor Phil’s fund-raiser... What bothered me the most, though, is how Charlie Greenly was that blind, how he couldn’t see, beyond his own interests, how important the Loud Lizard was for Luke, his friends and for Ann Arbor, or to what extent the whole ‘Break for You’ issue bothered his own son. I honestly think his heroic act at the end doesn’t quite redeem him of the harm he has done. Besides, Charlie was supposed to be a Punk-rock star... What’s really left of that personality? Has her wife and kids completely transformed him into a dull wimp? Not quite believable, this character is. 

Alicia: Charlie made me so mad at him that sometimes I wanted to throw the book across the room. I understand parents always think they know best, it's in their parent DNA. But it was really frustrating and irritating how he kept trying to get Luke to do whatever he wanted, without considering what his son actually wanted. He kept trying to convince Luke to do something he had stated time and time he didn't want to do and was not going to do. He used him for his own interests and treated him kinda badly just cause he didn't fit with his own expectations for him. Realistic as it could be for most people, it's still shitty. It's almost cathartic how he redeems himself at the end by quitting Bad Apple to support his son but that doesn't change his shitty behavior towards Luke during most of the novel. 

Marina: I mean Charlie didn’t seem the brightest of the Greenly family, to be honest. I think he should probably listen to his sons more (and his wife). I find it hard to believe he didn’t know what he was getting into. He was a famous punk-rocker at a time where you had to be clever and sharp-witted, like, is he smart enough to stay away from hard drugs and keep his career afloat (and later become an accomplished music producer) but not know how to choose business partners? Apparently. And talking about his previous life as a punk-star… Can he stop trying to live his life through Luke? It finally dawned on him in the end, yes, but throughout the book Luke (and later Cullen) explicitly told him he didn’t want to be famous, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour!

Soundtrack

Ariadna: While some of the tracks on this book’s OST are not my cup of tea (see Demi and Taylor), I must confess: I’ve been listening to TøP the whole week. Hahn got me at Car Radio *shrugs*. Working in the book industry, I’ve always felt books, when possible, should offer something extra. I really love that this book, even more considering it is addressed to teens and YA, offers this little something to connect it to the readers’ real world, to make the story even more realistic. I think it is a loss that the book itself doesn’t include a QR code or a link to a playlist itself, but it is an easy search away in Spotify, thanks to some nice reader that has already put it up!

Alicia: I just had this one little issue with the music/artists mentioned in the novel: Vada hates Stevie Nicks and consequently I hate Vada. There won't be any hate towards Stevie Nicks in my presence. She is an excellent artist and I will not hear otherwise. Other than that I actually loved how important music in general is in the novel and how many real actual songs are shared along the story. I expected to find mostly alternative/indie bands so there was no surprise there. And music can tell a lot about someone so it was interesting to see the music Luke and Vada listen to, to understand them better. Also it was really nice to get so many songs in so many different styles to actually discover new songs myself. I'm really happy about how music really does play an important part in the book. 

Marina: I’ve mentioned I like it when authors add their little soundtracks to the books but this one goes far beyond that. You get to listen to the songs throughout the characters’ actions and feelings and the music is not only an add-on but it becomes part of the plot. Which, granted, it’s a book about a girl who writes reviews about bands and a boy that writes songs, how can music not be part of the book? But it goes beyond the “here’s a song that inspired this chapter/book/scene” to a basic subplot. Coincidentally, we all looked up different songs on Spotify because we hadn’t heard them before and we found a playlist made by a reader, we hope you enjoy it too!

Vada and Luke’s relationship

Ariadna: It is interesting to read a YA romance novel in which the main action doesn’t revolve 100% around the romance. It is way healthier than most: both Vada and Luke have clear goals and motivations that are not biased by their relationship, they motivate and encourage each other, there is no narcissistic chauvinist - submissive flower dynamics going on —thank the gods–, and they are supercute and honest with themselves. However —I always have one of these–, it is still a naive teen relationship, mostly in terms of the plotting and the writing. Surprisingly —see the irony— they both have had crushes on each other for years, but they haven’t acted upon it until now. They NEVER fail, get mad, do any bad deeds... ANYTHING. Are they even teenagers? Honestly, I hate when the characters in a book are these holier-than-thou perfection vessels. Added to the not-really-that-big-of-a-deal problems (what happened with the instagram issue? What about Vada’s funds for college? They don’t even really get *really* mad because of the Bad Apple thingy...), they feel kind of bland and not too realistic for my tastes. 

Alicia: At the beginning I thought it was a bit rushed, how quickly they trusted each other considering they had barely interacted before. Even if they had a crush on the other that doesn't mean they actually knew that person, not really. As they spent more time together and got to know each other, their relationship evolved pretty organically and naturally, to a point when it just made sense. It was really cute to see how they got closer through awkward encounters and how their passion for music helped them connect and relate to the other. Having read many young adult romances, it gets old very fast. The stories get kinda predictable and hard to believe. This one also had some predictable moments, almost all of them do, but overall it was a really nice love story, one I could actually believe. 

Marina: To be honest, I expected this book to be less about the music and more about the relationship between Luke and Vada. I think what Erin Hahn accomplished in this book is to show a much more mature relationship than I expected. I thought this would be your typical YA-Romance with a lot of drama and kissing, but instead I got a slow-burn story (so slow, it felt like moving through molasses) with depth, insecurities and, yes, drama. I think both these characters are more mature than expected on a YA romance novel and it was surprisingly refreshing. You still get some teenage-y sub-plots, i.e. the prom or even the 15-minutes of fame; but it doesn’t take away from the blossoming relationship between Luke and Vada.

The Grass is Greenly and Behind the Music 

Ariadna: I must be growing too old for this s**t, but I don’t get the whole podcast/blog thing. I get it, social networking does this kind of thing: turning a nobody into an internet sensation in a matter of days, but... I agree with Alicia, it is too much of a coincidence (one of the deus-ex-machina I so much hate) that both the main characters are internet-known... in a blog, nonetheless! Maybe Hahn could have used precisely this internet presence to make Vada and Luke meet each other, instead of the too-worn-out high-school cliché. And Marina has made me think... maybe some interludes as Cullen’s podcasts, letting us know some behind-the-scenes gossip (The Lindsay issue, Luke and Vada’s first kiss becoming viral, and so on...), would have spiced up the novel a bit more.

Alicia: Okay here's the part I just didn't believe and kind of threw me off a bit. What are the chances of a music blog and a podcast, both run by teenagers of the same age in the same city in the same bar, becoming really popular and actually viral. Who even reads blogs anymore anyway? (Says while writing in a blog). It was just quite hard to believe so many people read Behind the Music that even ROLLING STONE became interested. Yeah sure this extremely known successful music magazine wants a fresh out of high school blogger to work for them. And then the podcast. What could two teens have to say to have a podcast so popular that when Cullen uploads Luke's song it literally gets millions of reproductions and attracts attention everywhere. And both of them being run by two people working in the same place, going to the same high school… the world is not actually that small. Sorry it's just kind of extremely unrealistic and didn't particularly like that part. 

Marina: Seeing the “behind-the-scenes” of the day to day of a podcast was very interesting. I guess it would have been better if Cullen told the story as he is the one that does most of the work. Also, how did they get that famous? Is it just because of their dad? I don’t really get it. On the other side, I find it incredibly unbelievable that a teenage girl has that much input on a music blog that isn’t even hers and gets to go to concerts and stuff like that. I get that Phil is a cool guy but how come the blog is so famous and he doesn’t really care about it or mentions it much during the book besides sending Vada places? I just don’t understand that.

Overall

Ariadna: Honestly, I’m not one for YA romance novels, I think I’ve outgrown them by far, and they usually bore me. That said, this book has surprised me for good. It is a light read, doesn’t follow the genre clichés, it doesn’t make everything revolve around the main characters’ love interest, the supporting characters have personalities of their own and it has a wide-ranged well-put playlist, which I think is great for teens and young adults to read. I particularly didn’t like the religious issues coming up from time to time, but, overall, this is the best written book of the three we’ve already read for Folie a Trois, and that’s a lot to say! 

Alicia: Overall it was a really cute book. Initially it took me a while to get into it cause the plot wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, that was a tad disappointing. But then once you begin knowing the characters and they begin to know each other as well it's quite captivating and easy and quick to read. I really enjoyed the love story, I loved how diverse the characters are and how they interacted. I really like how the plot develops, too. If you're looking for a soft, cute, easy enjoyable read I definitely recommend this one. 

Marina: As most YA books that I read, it was entertaining but it didn't change my life. I really did like Vada and Luke's relationship, as I said I find it more mature for this genre; the music was a big highlight and the drama wasn't overwhelmingly dumb (as is the case in some other books). Overall a good book for summer and a light read for any other season ;)

#folie a trois #group reading #group read #goodreads #feel good #music #romance #love #ya #ya book #young adult #ya novel #more than maybe #erin hahn #book #beach read #readers guide to the universe #rg2universe #rg2u

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Maou-jou 1 | Munou na Nana 1 | Grace of the Gods 1 | IWGP 1 | Akudama 1 | Crusade 1 | JJK 1 | HypMic 2 (also brief thoughts on the dog and cat TV short because I had them)

Maou-jou 1

I sampled this manga with what’s called a “Viz sampler”. I only ever seem to find those at libraries, so I’d assume only they and bookstores can get those.

…Twilight looks like Maou Sadao (Hataraku Maou-sama!).

“Dawner”??? I can read katakana, ya idjits. His name is Akatsuki. Update: The translator must’ve gone, “Dawn is a girl’s name. Let’s tack on an -er so it looks like a guy’s name.”

Aw, Hiro Shimono is Akatsuki. If it were Yoshitsugu Matsuoka, we could’ve gotten a Kirito joke out of it.

Oh! 快眠 (Kaimin) = good rest, literally “happy sleep”. Hence this is the nation of Goodreste. I see.

The lightning effect is soooooooooo cool! *eyes glitter at the particle effects*

I’m gonna die from cuteness from all the teddies and seals!

The little fanfare is so cute and the yokudekimashita reminds me of my days playing the arcade game Bomberman (which had a flower sticker much like this one). I wanna see this get a dub and succeed on all its merits! It’s basically my baby already…bar the fact it took a bit to work up to the first good bit of comedy.

The teddy demons are called Debiakuma, a pun on kuma (bear), devil and akuma (devil). Lessee…After “lesser demon”, there’s more text…“Fluffy bears that can be also used as pets. They give in easily to temptation. A lot of them live in the demon castle, so the princess likes to gather their fur, dye it and spin nice cotton out of it. Warning: A lot of them will either run away or call you their friend./Occasionally act as friends for the princess.”

LOL, I recognised that voice of the Scissors guy straight away…although I didn’t know who it belonged to. That’s Suwabe. (It doesn’t sound like Suwabe, I would’ve thought it to be Takuma Terashima or something.)

Aw, the Japanese version is more boring this time. It’s just Scissor Magician (in the singular for both).

*hears Scissors Demon going -ageruwa”, which is a feminine sentence ending…that’s Suwabe trying to (voice) act effeminate???!!!

These trumpet sounds never get old.

LOL, Siberian huskies dressed as Russians…

Okay, my turn again: Hari means needle, toge means thorn. Next to “His stomach is soft”, part of the subs are cut off due to Funimation’s hardsubs, but I can read “he is proud of his defence” on the 2nd line, “is the type to not refuse when relied on” on the 2nd-last line and “his favourite food is strange bird chawanmushi” on the last line.

I love how parts of the castle are upside down for no reason at all except to look cool…architects must hate that, though.

I hadn’t heard of “seesaw battles” until now. but the metaphor does make sense...kind of.

What about changing the mattress? Update: She does do that…kind of.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Kirito was under my nose all along! Damn Demon Kinggggggggggggggggggg!

Kamina glasses on one of the background trees! Cute tapir! Ahhhhhhhh, it’s so cuteeeeeeee!

Anyways, that’s a fun show. Not as fun as HypMic, but still fun after it gains momentum.

Munou na Nana 1

I remember seeing spoilers for a twist at the end…let’s hope I don’t anticipate it. That would kill the entire anime for me.

The message actually says something about how the island is a nest for enemies of humanity.

There’s the ice narcissist I saw in the promo stuff, right on cue. I’ve never heard of his voice actor Hiromichi Tezuka before, although he does sound like Hiroshi Kamiya or someone much better.

Why do I get the feeling once the title character arrives, even Nanao will get powers…? Or maybe Nana is the catalyst for Nanao’s powers awakening or something? (Just realised having a Nana and a Nanao together in the same anime is confusing…)

Subbers spelt “noblesse oblige” wrong, unless it was deliberately done as such.

I predicted the “duke it out” line.

There’s a menu on the wall of the restaurant.

Maybe Nanao’s “talent” is his leadership stat or something?

Or maybe even Nanao is an enemy of humanity and doesn’t know it? (Sorry, speculation going into overdrive…that usually happens with superpower works like this for me, because I like to analyse them.)

Maybe Nanao can see the future, like the protag from Koi to Producer?

Technically, shouldn’t ice be weak against fire…? Or am I too used to the Pokemon system?

Called it! Nanao has a hidden power! (That reminds me: I still don’t know what Lucien’s (from Koi to Producer’s) power really is.)

Vigilantes is really good at exploring how people can expand on their own powers.

…wow, I heard rumours that the main character was going to die, but I’d pegged Nana to die, not Nanao.

Onodera is clearly important…maybe he was the one with the wind powers? Or was Nana lying about that?

…dude, the red eyes are kinda obvious that Nana is evil in some way, or at least really devious.

Grace of the Gods 1

All I really know of this is that it’s got slimes and it’s an isekai/SoL hybrid…That’s it.

…I am not, I repeat NOT, on board for a harem centred around an 11 year old!

Ryoma speaks with an unnatural amount of starts and stops, hence the caveman speak.

What’s Jil’s role in the party…?

Why would you even need to know 4 high-level skills? Isn’t it better to know all of them?

LOL, I knew the isekaid guy was meant to have a hard life so he could start over with slimes, but…stick Doppo in this and it’s basically the same thing. At least Doppo tries to resist his bosses behind their backs, this guy just did the whole gaman thing and look where that got him!

If he worked for a black company with no overtime and so forth, how did he know about a recent anime trend, eh??? Sounds suspect. Update: Unless he was thinking about 90s isekai, which still involved less reincarnation than this.

I noticed the gods have senbei (the rice crackers with the seaweed). Western-looking gods probably shouldn’t have senbei, unless…they did that to make Ryoma feel more at home?

Seriously, how does a guy with no overtime still have time for online games? Even if he were getting just ads for them, he probably wouldn’t have paid enough attention to be able to figure out what the cliches are, right? Either that, or the Dragon Quest system is older than I think it is.

Slimes don’t have paws…or hands or other appendages…to give…

…I’m not sure what to think there. Am I meant to think the slimes are cute? Am I meant to think the catgirls/animal girls are cute? The answer to those questions is “no”, so…eh.

IWGP 1

Basically, I chose this for associations with HypMic.

…the best first impression involves a CGI car. Of course. <- (sarcastic)

Given HypMic, I almost expected a rap battle…nahhhh…Rap battles don’t look so cool outside HypMic, man.

The owl is a pun. Fukurou (owl) matches ‘bukuro (bag, which is the 2nd character in “Ikebukuro”). There’s also an owl statue used as a meeting spot, much like Hachiko in Shibuya…(I learnt a bunch of things about the division territory through HypMic. Let me show off…)

I think the character designer for this anime also did Joker Game…that’s throwing me off a little. Also, they had a prime opportunity to use a Buster Bros song, so I’m still a bit miffed about that – this OP’s kinda standard. Update: The character designer is Junichiro Taniguchi – my insinct was wrong on him. He did Touken Ranbu Hanamaru’s character designs.

“Smoking kills” – Yuuuuuuuup. That’s true.

Why do I get the feeling all the male otaku will wanna bang Makoto’s mother (to put it lightly)…?

Curiously, the one who hates drugs in HypMic is Jyuto, who’s not from Ikebukuro Division at all. Hmm…

Yokoyama’s voice sounds familiar…but I’m not sure why. Update: If I had to guess, I’d say he’s Saito Soma or someone who sounds similar, so maybe Takuma Terashima, Daisuke Ono or something like that. Update 2: Takahiro Sakurai. See? I knew I knew that voice.

“Big Rei” (“Rei-nii”). That’s different from Ichi-nii (what Saburo calls Ichiro) and could also be goroawase for 02.

Uni of Tokyo is the most prestigious uni in Japan. It has quite the reputation.

…is it just me, or does Makoto have a piercing in his left ear? IWGP also happens to happily work with my existing character, although said character has a piercing in his right ear.

Zero One kinda looks like Uta (Tokyo Ghoul), LOL.

…and of course the girl has to rely on the dude. *sigh* Welp, we can throw drugs off the list for “things that count as TV-MA to Funimation” – IWGP is rated M (not 15+ explicitly, but that’s what it stands for normally) in my region.

This ED song…that’s the sort of song I was expecting from HypMic, Akudama or this.

Seems both Makoto and Takashi have earrings…maybe in both ears? Takashi’s are yellow, I could confirm that much.

…this is decent, but putting it up against its competitors is a bit harsh.

Crusade 1 (cont. from sneak peek - it’s in the title here because this is where it’s completed)

Turns out that preview was most of the episode…like “14 of 24 minutes” long.

Wait, how did Alice fall forward and end up in the princess carry pose? I remember having trouble with that when a character in a story of mine had the same problem.

…Iska-nii…(?)

That opera house looks pretty darn modern to me…

…eh…that was middling. Nothing any ol’ adaption of Romeo and Juliet couldn’t do, bar the CGI for the magic fight in the middle. (There was a fluffy griffin thing in the middle there, though.)

Akudama 1

Ume + Kimura and a cool urban aesthetic. Let’s go!

This is kinda Tron-like, eh?

Ooh, now it’s more like Cop Craft.

Kimura seems to use his gruffer voice more than his Ichiro voice, but Ume is actually worse on that fron with his ordinary voice…Welp, at least his ordinary voice sounds like it fits right in with the Courier. I almost expect an Ocean’s Eleven thing (or Now You See Me, since I’ve actually watched that) from this. Update: Turns out Kimura is the pompadour guy, not the fighter.

You can tell Ordinary Person is an okay person because she keeps saving cats. A bit cliché, but it’ll do.

Ohhhhhh…I can see where this plotline is going. Ordinary Person pretends to be Swindler to get herself out of this mess, but then she keeps getting involved with the Akudama. It’s a typical plot for a typical gal, common to insert a viewpoint character in series that require one, or a magical girl ally.

Wow, those missiles look like a**.

LOL, Hoodlum’s sentence is kinda measly in comparison to most of them. Plus, when he yelled, that sounded more accurate to Ichiro than Fighter was, so…yeah, sorry I messed up.

…Ordinary Person has some real bullseye…uh, eyes.

This could be a top contender…aside from the CGI, which does look a bit funky. I’m getting a death game vibe here, but I don’t know if that’s really the case. Also, it’s a lot of fun, but the possible intolerable thing here is Ordinary Person’s screaming – the pretense she has to keep up seems like it’ll fit right in though.

JJK 1

I read the manga once, dropped it and then read it again and didn’t realise why I dropped it.

Fushiguro has long eyelashes, tbh. Itadori comments on that at one point, I think.

Oh, it was a fish (carp) in the manga. I couldn’t figure out what the Japanese equivalent was just from the Kokkuri board.

This track club teacher is a bit of a freak, honestly. Meddling in kids’ affairs is probably illegal to some extent.

Itadori is known as “tiger” because the kanji for “tiger” is in the surname. Update: Also, the Czech dude Mirko was called “the Croatian tiger”, if a tweet I read is any indication.

I like how there’s more comedy in this one. They show the world records, so you have standards to compare Itadori against.

This is an almost beat-for-beat adaption, bar the slight comedy of the records being added (and not explaning who Mirko is). The contrast makes this better.

“People really can die.” – That’s summoning some real energy of “People die when they are killed.”

(Brief thoughts on the dog and cat short: I enjoyed that more than I thought I would. The picture of a realistic cat – someone’s actual photo of their cat?- that serves as a punchline never gets old and in fact, sometimes contributes to the humour.)

HypMic 2

LOL, TV-MA warning strikes again.

“Kore wa prologue/Hajimete no ippo/Fumidasanai yatsu ni wa/???? shinpo.” – The translation is really good for the bits I can read…the problem is I can’t read the bottom left corner. Update: The part in the bottom left is nai...That’s it.

…uh, even people from around the world can read 24 hour time??? You don’t need subs to read Arabic numerals???

…couldn’t you have just told Ichiro verbally, Saburo…? Update: Come to think of it, kids these days are more on their phones than ever, so it makes sense but also kind of doesn’t.

You don’t really need subs for laughter either…

I’d never heard of “pulling rank” before…hmm: “to use one's high position in a society, organization, group, etc., to order someone to do something or to get special treatment or privileges.”

…and here comes the F word here to mess with us again. Japanese nastiness is conveyed using words that might be considered “soft” in English, hence the sudden jump to use the F word a bunch, but the subbers could use some variety in their swearing. I mean, “dips**t” worked where it did because subbers made Samatoki go overboard with the F word, but…you could stand to use that more, maybe(?)

I like how even the Tenderloins guy rhymes where he’s meant to. It’s the prelude to a battle, after all. (He kinda looks like Kotaro from Zombieland Saga.)

…I freaked out for a second. I swore I saw a similar-looking restaurant (udon shop, located on the left of one of the shots) while in Japan. Also, we finally get to see Ichiro’s reputation at work.

…I still have no idea what a “steelo” is after all this time, but I didn’t realise I was staring at a part of Ore ga Ichiro until I saw it in context. Also, it was kinda derpy – but still really in character – for Ichiro to run to his destination with his arms up like the Glico man in Osaka (except he had his head down).

I get a weird feeling the subbers may have used the wiki translation because I’m using it as a reference and the language seems oddly similar for the most part…

The kick Ichiro does seems like it references the OP.

Notice the location is Nishiguchi Kouen…the West Gate Park. *raises eyebrows at the IWGP anime*

…oh! It occurred to me that the sign the BB do with their hands is…well, a lowercase B. (LOL, if you read my previous line funny, it rhymes.)

Gentaro doing the peace sign to his chest…that was random the first time, because it doesn’t seem in character, but then it does for Dice and possibly Ramuda, so Gentaro probably just chose to go along with it (“to add to his image as a rapper,” maybe…?).

Oh, Saburo has airpods in…those aren’t good for blocking sound, are they…?

Notice the owl on the…uh, café(?)…Ichiro goes to.

That one “holy shit!” made me laugh like a madman. Where it came from, I don’t know, but it was so random I had to laugh at it.

This makes me wonder…if you use a mic that’s different to your personal mic, does it produce the same speakers? No one’s ever addressed that before (much like how no one questions if magical girls always need the same transformation device – I wanted to make a plot on that someday, but I can’t seem to find a comprehensible way to pull it off…LOL, that reminds me, I even had a HypMic version of that featuring Samatoki at one point, but it probably makes even less sense than the standard one because it activates via physical contact. It’s notable – in my head – for Nemu’s version of the “power” being “Samatoki can’t swear, no matter how hard he tries”).

I’m pretty sure that round thing wasn’t part of Ichiro’s rings, ever. (…Unless that was the head of his spoon or something.)

…Microwave? (referring to the shot inside the hospital, which seems to be based off ARB)

The series normally transitions from BB -> MTC -> FP -> MTR, so it was interesting to see that shuffled up. Update: That’s if it has to have an order, but notably ARB breaks this standard a lot by assigning colours to each solo and then arranging interactions based on not repeating those colours (aside from the Sky High Tower event). With 4 things there are 4! = 24 possible combinations and 6! = 720 possible combinations if you count DH and BAT, so as we move forward with those 2 divisions...prepare for more shuffling.

…is Jiro gonna steal a ball? I thought it was just bikes anime characters stole. (LOL)

The mic changes the background, too, huh? Never expected that from more than the speakers.

…and of course, s*** explodes and the day is saved once again....by the Buster Bros!!! (LOL, but also *sigh*)

Hmm, so this anime’s real plotline probably involves this trio: Rex, Tom and Iris. They’re probably foreign in some way, judging by Tom and Rex. Maybe they’re aligned with a foreign government or something? Update: If you look at the credits, their full names seem to be Tom Whisper Weathercock, Iris Innocent Traiter (sic) (LOL) and…Taroumaru Rex…? (romanisations confirmed for all katakana)

Sadamezuka was voiced by the ubiquitous Kenjiro Tsuda.

It seems Cola Bintarou (aka Subaru Kimura) was on the case again today. He wrote the new song for BB, called RUN THIS CITY, along with Gesshoku Kaigi.

Of course, I’m going to keep this anime on my list...I’m just a bit worried about myself going forward, because I realised my ego got a bit inflated trying to defend the series from haters. I’ve never had a series where I’ve been a fan from the beginning that wasn’t already a known quantity for a while (Muhyo and Roji’s, Furuba). With Boueibu, I was discovering things alongside other people (or even later in a lot of cases) since it was anime-original.

#simulcast commentary #HypMic #Hypnosis Microphone #Hypnosis Mic #Hypnosis Mic: Division Rap Battle - Rhyme Anima #our last crusade or the rise of a new world #kimi to boku no saigo no senjou aruiwa sekai ga hajimaru seisen #by the grace of the gods #kami-tachi ni hirowareta otoko #Munou na Nana #Talentless Nana #akudama drive #ikebukuro west gate park #Jujutsu Kaisen #inu to neko docchi mo katteru to mainichi tanoshii #maou-jou de oyasumi #sleepy princess in the demon castle #with a dog and a cat every day is fun #Chesarka watches HypMic #Chesarka watches Maou-jou #Chesarka watches Akudama Drive

[fortheheavenssake]

💜💜 PG MM Anon 💜💜 Interpretation Collection - 2

Anon said:

You go PG!!! 😊😊😊🌸🌸🌹🐼🐼🐝🐝👍👍👍💖💖💖🌻🌻🌼🌼🌼😊😊😍😍💜💜🌹🌹🌹🌺🌺🌺💙💙💙🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌹🌹🌹❤❤❤👍👍👍👍 Violets 🌼

Anon said:

💗🌲🌞😺 hi Skippy this is for PG and JG 🏡🌲🥰🥰🧚‍♀️👑👑🐱🐰🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🐥🌺🌹🌼🌸💐🐿

*********

13.

💜💜💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON💜💜💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON… Hope SPRINGS eternal. “ you’ve brought SHAM-E upon this house”. SussexRoyal,one potato two potato…… (Amazing grace,how sweet… ). A Fall in the fall ? But…but, I still have friends!! “ grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel”. The deal was…NO DEAL !!!! “Ladies”do NOT … BBQ. 🎼 ‘Put it in the family …album 🎼

Hope SPRINGS eternal.

Besides the obvious mean of , there is always hope, this has a possible second meaning as SPRINGS is capitalized. Knowing our MM ANON , that was done for meaning. In fact, SPRINGS is a city in S Transvaal, in the E Republic of South Africa, E of Johannesburg. Does this mean South Africa is still a possibility?

You’ve brought SHAM-E to this house.

Sham is something that is not what it is purported to be. Shame is embarrassment, at the least. The House, is the House of Windsor.

Sussex Royal, one potato two potato.

Supposed foundation collecting money for supposed charities. One potato is a children’s counting game. Is the foundation treatment of donors childlike, ie that phrase like taking candy from s baby?

(Amazing grace, how sweet…)

It’s in brackets, the old hymn, a wretched soul saved by God’s love and expressing gratitude for same. Is this our Harry , reaching out??

A Fall in the fall….but l still have friends!!

Things are near bubbling over, might things snap in the fall. Fall is capitalized so it’s important. She is still threatening with having friends!!

“grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steal” as said earlier another Shakespearean reference from our beloved MM ANON . Hold your trusted friends close. Harry still close with friends even though not appearing so publicly? Pure supposition on my part. The phrase holds your friends close and your enemies closer.

The deal was ..NO DEAL,!

She was offered a financial settlement before the wedding, allegedly, first accepted, than changed mind at the last minute and went through with the wedding. Allegedly she was told if she didn’t take the offer THERE WOULD BE NO FURTHER DEALS, Also play of words on her suitcases tv career game show.

Ladies do NOT….BBQ . Reference to her trashy bbq burger tv commercial. Also long list of things allegedly done, that ladies, real ladies ala our Catherine, do NOT DO!!

🎼 put it in the family…album🎼

Is this reference to photos to put in the family photo album? I am not absolutely certain of that due to the musical notes. So it’s musical album, is this used perjoratively? Or do the royals like karaoke? Either way it’s musical related.

That’s my best go at it , not the best day but that’s me.

💜💜🐼🐼💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜🐼🐼💜💜

Great job PG!!!!! I so appreciate you doing this, as I know how difficult it can be for you, so thank you so much!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

27 notes

Jul 18th, 2019

———————

14.

PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON

💜💜💜💜💜💜THANK YOU NANNY ANON, I HOPE YOUR SKIN IS GORGEOUS 💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜💜💜💜💜👋🐼💜🙏🏻🐼💜💜

MM ANON,

Blood diamonds and a immaculate conception. The Three wise men- in grey suits. Gold, Frank-incensed and mur-der?… Sussex Royals ‘ boiled or Roasted. A royal tape-worm. Shrouded in mustique …… Sunset bully-vard. “We’re gonna need a bigger wall”. 🎼” ain’t no cure for the summertime blues “ 🎼

Blood diamonds and a (an) immaculate conception.

Blood diamonds are illegally sourced, literally via the blood/back breaking work of locals. Is this to suggest her diamonds are blood /illegally smuggled? Immaculate conception, is she faking yet another pregnancy? Everything is so sleazy, it’s really hard for my head to wrap around it all!

The Three wise men -in grey suits. Gold, Frank-incensed and mur-dear?

Obvious Christmas carols. Men in grey suits LG and his team, incensed at what they have learned , they are still investigating, is there mur-der in the past?? The island is still in play…..LOTS of wicked wicked things to be revealed and big names. We keep hearing warnings from the government legal teams ie SDNY, preparing the public for the horrors.

Sussex royals…boiled or roasted…🤣

Obvious reference to the 🥔 potato. Deeper meaning perhaps boiled/roasted may mean legal troubles.

A royal tape-worm

I hate referencing her as royal but as a tape worms does inside it’s hose, it uses and takes anything and everything the host needs to survive. We have seen that in spades, ESPECIALLY with a Harry, he looks on the edge. I know many disagree but he is our Harry, we have loved him since before he was born.

Shrouded in mustique …..sunset bully-vard

Shrouded in mystery, lots of the past years unknown. Mustique, is also an island in St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

Sunset Boulevard is an old movie about a haggard ageing actress trying desperately to make a comeback, the line “ I’m ready for my close-up Mr.DeMille” hilarious was made fun of by Carol Burnett on her tv show. I believe this means she is still trying to bully and get her way, using PR, Harry was missing 48 hours oh me , oh my, AS IF!!!

“We’re gonna need a bigger wall” a twist on the Jaws reference MM ANON made in an earlier riddle. They needing to do more to contain her, maybe also her access to media and PR teams.

🎼ain’t no cure for the summertime blues🎼

Is this meaning things won’t be wrapped up in summer, the above use of two Christmas carols also suggests patience, patience and more patience!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you PG! I know how you struggled to do this! Great job!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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43 notes

Jul 19th, 2019

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MM Anon -PG

MM ANON ……… many thanks to PG for her excellent an succinct interpretation of the riddle. Kind regards and gentle prayers 💜💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you…..😁❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

23 notes

Jul 19th, 2019

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💜💜💜💜💜 I AM SO HONOURED!!!!💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜💜MY DEAR MM ANON, my deepest and most sincere thank you, for your kind words and wishes. God bless you richly.💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

GSTQAOBC 💜

I think you are quite popular here my friend!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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19 notes

Jul 19th, 2019

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15.

PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜SORRY THIS IS SO LATE💜💜💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON …… Fab 4 2.0. It’s not rocket science. Northern parlour games will be a welcome distraction. The odds are in his Flavour. She can hide, but she can’t run. “Thank goodness it’s My little helpers. An unwelcome birthday present. (How old!!!!!!!!)………” its Carmen Miranda. “ Tomorrow is another daydream.”

Fab 4 2.0 It’s not rocket science.

Perhaps Catherine may be pregnant, two things give me pause though, with all her pregnancies she has suffered very severe hyperemesis gravidarum, so perhaps the fourth times the charm? Second is the trip to Asia, Afghanistan they are taking, high risk stressful trip. However, Catherine is not one to let much stop her. It’s not rocket science may be reference to the ‘ normal’ way to get pregnant and appear while pregnant versus the 10 month long tummy clutching horror show we all endured for a non pregnant pregnancy. Pardon my grammar.

Northern parlour games will be a welcome distraction.the odds are in his Flavour.

Reference to Balmoral, time spent there to relax and be together as a family. We know the Royals like goofy silly games, Christmas gifts etc, so do we all😁. Parlour makes me think of ice cream and odds being in his, l take to be Harry, Flavours, things will be in his favour in the media as more comes out.

She can hide, but she can’t run.

She likely has no passport in her possession, she may try and hide but she is under 24/7/365 supervision by LG and the men in grey suits, she is running nowhere, except a treadmill, not to be mean, but l doubt that too.

Thank goodness it’s my little helpers.

I want to go nice here, if indeed Catherine is pregnant l often hear expecting or new mums say that to the other children to include them and feel special.

An unwelcome birthday present…..

Her real age will be revealed with the avalanche of media….it’s going to get real for her. Or she will stay forever in her own narcissistic world.

It’s Carmen Miranda..l loved her in the old musicals..there are a couple of ways this fits, her fruit hat ie banana reference for the instagram pic mm posted of the two bananas and her writings to sex workers on bananas, she was thinking how nice it would have been to get one sent to her in her yachting days. The other way is the age…..l am not convinced l am correct on either.

Tomorrow is another daydream.

She will continue in her narcissistic way of thinking and behaving, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace. A man struts and frets his hour upon the stage…sorry, l digressed to Shakespeare, l know MM ANON loves Shakespeare!

THANK YOU everyone for all my mentions and suggestions, love you for it. I just a few weeks ago got fibre optic tv, l get so many channels now, and finally can watch the shopping channel!! I love my new Korres wrinkle creams and oils!! No joke. Also has a PVR, on demand, hbo, crave, music stations etc etc.

Thank you to all who post animals, historical items and anything Royal especially the royal jewelry. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

💜💜🐼💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🐼🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you so much! Lovely post! God Bless you dear PG!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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19 notes

Jul 21st, 2019

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16.

PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON

MM Anon

MM ANON … sympathy for a milked visit to Di for. … A troop amend awaits … they txt each other …… PR or BS,go figure ……… A “tell ALL” in the PIPE’ Oh No!!!…… “this conversation will be taped for TRAINing purposes “ …… LIE- DOWN and take a nest………The Mouse-TRAP will run and RUN. ……How many sugars to screw in a LIGHTbulb.

THANK YOU MM ANON, I hope you’re well😊🙏🏻💜

Sympathy milked visit to Di for

Lovely photos of Prince Harry today visiting hospital patients, so like his mother, just naturally loving

A troop amend awaits,

Is something in the work for Harry going to Lion King instead of attend the memorial of the 30th anniversary of the IRA attack, perhaps another memorial, late but will he be forgiven?

They text each other…

Is this Harry and Chelsea, mm and ma ???

PR or BS..go figure

All the stuff in the papers, her PR is going fast and furious and yes all BS! Figure, is this the rumour about her working a deal with weight watchers? I could be way off!

A TELL all in the PIPE..oh No!!!

Rumours of a tell all book, and also the book that is readying for release in the U.S. we have seen articles here about that..PIPE, crack pipe????

Conversation taped for TRAINing purposes…

First out was the totally unusual overnight on the train with the Queen..was she recorded on the phone?? Ooo HM and LG BRILLIANT!!

LIE-DOWN and take a rest…

Continued lies, PR LIES, we all need a break from it

The mouse TRAP will run and RUN

she is caught in the trap, is she going to try and do a runner? impossible l doubt she has a passport but she is resourceful if nothing else! Constantly seeking PR and attention, running the hamster wheel every day

How many sugars to screw in a LIGHT bulb?

We have seen sugars realizing the lies , panicking. What will they do today with the paper saying Archie born in March….sugars are abandoning ship, but hard core remain……

That’s my best

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦💜💜💜🙏🏻💜

Prayers for you dearest MM ANON

Thank you so much PG! Excellent!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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36 notes

Jul 25th, 2019

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17.

💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON 💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON,… HOW OLD !!! … Forty something?Bal-moral birthday. …… 38,a-Gain … Broadsheet birthday?Sunday subversion. … who will blink?… Ageing elbows! Photos please …TPTB pouring concrete down the rabbit hole …online blogs followed with fervour … Lamestream media GAG on evidence. …Eps-And sulks won’t get parole. …🎼 “in a rich mans world “🎼

HOW OLD!!! Forty something/ Balmoral birthday….38 a-again

Whew have talked about, what is her real age? Sounds like she will be at Balmoral for 38 th birthday all over again, like Groundhog Day !

Broadsheet birthday?Sunday subversion…who will blink

Will the Sunday papers reveal her real age or articles about that. Who is gonna pull the pin and throw the grenade, metaphorically and public the real truths they have been sitting on FOREVER,?Subversion (Latin subvertere: overthrow) refers to a process by which the values and principles of a system in place are contradicted or reversed, in an attempt to transform the established social order and its structures of power, authority, hierarchy, and social norms. We have seen any sense of Royal protocols norms, even social functioning at a decent persons level non-existent, narcissism extraordinaire! Me Me Me-gain.

Ageing elbows, photos please, we all saw and read and some commented, especially photos from behind at Wimbledon how old her elbows looked😮😲

TPTB pouring concrete down a rabbit hole..why, what are they burying or further covering permanently….curiouser and curiouser🤔

What are they blocking, covering up?? This is curious, protecting someone . PA??

Online blogs followed with fervour..

Mm following blogs with fervour, might this be the KP team also doing so?

Lame stream media GAG on evidence..

Lame versus main, lame as in not being able to do their job because they’re lame, or lame as in a joke being lame, l think it’s the first. GAG is obvious something oral, and the media gags watching it as perhaps the person in photos or video is gagging 🤮🤢

EPS-n-sulks won’t get parole…

JE will not get parole, is she sulks? Because she does sulk! A LOT!

Song lyrics, rich mans world

Hip hop star Immortal Technique, l encourage you all to google and read the lyrics, they are bang on how the upper crust gets away with everything, look up the lyrics!!!

THANK YOU MM ANON💜💜🙏🏻💜💜👋💜💜😊💜💜🇨🇦💜💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you PG! Looks good!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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20 notes

Jul 26th, 2019

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18.

MM ANON SHAKESPEARE

I think what happened is outrageous, Cawdor or any family place of that historically significance should remain with blood family.

My take on why MM ANON uses Shakespeare, 1), she obviously loves it, l remain firm she is a professor of literature or English studies, that’s just my supposition, based on her submissions and vast knowledge. 2) There are no dramas or tragedies like Shakespeare, also involving royalty. Revenge, adultery, murder, ghosts, wars, etc it’s all a version of what we have seen unfold before our eyes in the last few years, since the day of mourners when she who shall not be named wore a white dress.

Shakespeare just lends itself to tragedy. There are so many quotes etc that fit in so well.

JIMHO💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

💜💜🐼💜💜🙏🏻😊💜💜👋💜💜💜💜💜

Interesting ….makes sense to me…thank you😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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9 notes

Jul 26th, 2019

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19.

💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON 💜💜

THANK YOU MM ANON 💜💜🙏🏻😊👋💜

MM ANON, … delusional acceptance of a VB co-edit.… “I’m worried about spiralling “… “ she needs help grandma”… not very straight’ that jacket … but, there’s no more rope left. … “good morning LG, we need to talk “… the hidden pre-nup.… “Down and out in Scotland and L.A. “. “Don’t argue darling , just shoot the messenger “ … Very interesting intelligence’ thank you M.

Delusional acceptance of the September Vogue Book, as it’s their largest issue. Somehow she got her way again, absolutely delusional thinking, she is editing co-, this issue. She is now the official dictator to the fashion ‘bible’ , no blasphemy intended.

Spiralling, needs help, no more ropes…

Her mental state is drastically spiralling downward, due to substance use, illness or both, she does need help legal and medical. The BRF have watched her cause damage to herself. She has defied kicking and screaming, disrupting from seas to sea.

Good morning LG, we need to talk,

I suspect HM is done and dusted with her, enough is enough! And called LG to say it’s time to pull the plug on this horror show.

Hidden pre-nup 😮very interesting,

First l have heard of that, maybe that’s what they were signing after that ceremony when Harry held the book so camera couldn’t see it. Hooray for hidden pre-nup!

Down and out in Scotland and L.A.

She has absolutely no where to go, no one to turn to……it’s finished

Don’t argue darling, just shoot the messenger.

I know what shoot the messenger, blame the bringer of bad for the bad news itself. No arguments now, but not sure who darling is, perhaps PP to HM?

Very interesting intelligence, thank you M,

LG thanking HM for making the final decision and he will carry out her orders. Yippitty doooo bring it on,

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

I think you hit it spot on….MM Anon…what do you think? Thank you PG!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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53 notes

Jul 30th, 2019

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PG Anon you have mail!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

MM ANON … nice one PG. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

12 notes

Jul 30th, 2019

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💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜😊👋💜💜🐼💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART 💜💜

Thank you for all the loving comments directed my way, it’s so very much appreciated!👋😊

I try and live my Christian Faith without being pushy, if l ever am, please tell me. I think God and Jesus’ words in Scripture are guidelines, encouragements, love, hope as well as reminding us we live in a spiritual realm, and evil is insidious and the vile pedophelia, sorry my spelling, that word is not on auto correct! Anyhow, l do feel Scripture, reading it and memorizing it helps me a great deal AND arms us against evil. I have had many medical tests etc, MRI’S are not fun, Psalm 121 got me through that, l don’t know how many of them l have had but, Scripture helps me. When l read that you were benefiting from it, my heart just sings😊. Due to being home bound, my opportunities to share faith are not what they used to be. God has continually amazed me. GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU💜🙏🏻😊👋💜🐼💜🐼💜💜🐼💜💜🐼

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Lots of love and prayers for our Royal family and especially HMTQ.

🐼, lots of 💜🙏🏻👋😊💜 for all you do for us. I am so very blessed to have found this wonderful place.

Sweet dreams everyone 💤😴. Till the ‘morrow.💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you so much! You are our treasure! God Bless, and happy dreams🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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15 notes

Jul 31st, 2019

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20.

💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON💜💜

MM ANON …Negative In Positano !!…TWO ? OUCH!! a sanctimonious prick!!… defending the indefensible… racist!! Sorry’ I was unconscious … the conscious distain of a nation… useless damage control ……… try backpedaling uphill … I’m on planet privilege’ you’re not… middle England turns on a minor irritation. …Granny is VERY upset. … exiles in there own lunchtime … “Cha’Cha’Cha’Changes”… “Graves at my command have waked their sleepers

Negative in Positano…

Catherine and William were NOT at the celeb ‘woke’ environment saving, jet flying celeb meetings in Italy as has been rumoured by hmmmm whose PR?

TWO? Ouch a sanctimonious prick

Harry in his interview with Dr. Jane Goodall, in the Vogue edited, well, co-edited by mm, says no more than TWO children is responsible thing to do for the world and environment, slamming his brothers family and he comes off as a sanctimonious p****.

Defending the indefensible, racist…..

Huge backlash to this interview, did he really say the things about racism being unconscious😮, oops subconscious or was he edited? Either way, gasoline thrown on a fire, raging out of control now..

Conscious distain of a nation, backpedaling uphill, useless damage control, l’m on planet privilege you’re not

The unmitigated nerve, do as l say, not as l do, l am woke, you’re all ‘subconsciously’ racist…..there is no recovery from this, Harry, dear Harry if you actually said these things, l don’t see a way back to being beloved as you were, killing me to say this, but is she edited it, either way, there is no unringing this bell and the damage it’s doing and how angry people are!

Middle England turns,

As above, oh the people are just a minor irritation, we are on planet privilege, we CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT,,

Granny is VERY upset, exiles in their own lunchtime, cha cha changes,

HMTQ is VERY upset. They have been exiled to meals alone, if at Balmoral. Changes, big changes are forthcoming. The purse strings may be cut off now that separated from CH. That might happen quicker than first thought. We know she lives, eats breaths $$$$$££££££€€€€€€€ and PR , PR COSTS A LOT OF MONEY!

Graves at my command have wakened their sleepers.

HM has given the official go ahead for all the silence to be broken, all the truths that had been buried and laid silent are going to explode in the media, Hang on, it’s going to be a very bumpy ride!

GSTQAOBC 💜

THANK YOU MM ANON

Excellent! Thank you so much PG!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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87 notes

Jul 31st, 2019

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PG you have mail from MM Anon

MM ANON…… 💜💜💜💜 WOW , PG You’re quickly becoming the new emsi247. Thank you for your de-coding …… Bletchley Park awaits 😉😉😉 ‘ quick break out the wrinkle cream. 🤣🤣🤣

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

32 notes

Jul 31st, 2019

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💜💜THANK YOU MM ANON💜💜

It has been awhile since my critical thinking and knowledge have been put to the test, given my health issues. It is so nice to use that part of my brain! No joking! I am honoured to even be mentioned in the likes of emsi. Thank you.💜🙏🏻😊👋💜 GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Wonderful PG!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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[elizascharlesdanceblog]

Charles Dance: how common

Charles Dance: 'the audience feels cheated if you don't be honest about yourself'

Nigel Farndale12:15AM BST 28 Oct 2007

Army officers, worthy medicos, louche aristos, and now a donnish C.S. Lewis in 'Shadowlands' – when casting directors need 'a toff actor', Charles Dance is top of their list. It's all pretending, the secret plebeian tells Nigel Farndale, and he loves it. Portrait by Joss McKinley

Given that Charles Dance is an actor, it shouldn't come as a surprise that his manner off stage is quite actorly. Yet somehow it does. I suppose it is because he is often cast as the reserved, taciturn, patrician type, while, in person, he is tactile and garrulous. Sitting on a sofa in his dressing-room at the Wyndham's Theatre, London, he makes big theatrical, off-the-shoulder gestures, taps the wood of his dressing table – the superstitious actor – and leans forward to touch my knee occasionally, to emphasise a point. Moreover, he punctuates his anecdotes with 'darlings', 'sweethearts' and 'dears'.

Physically, he looks taller and more athletic than seems decent for a 61-year-old. He doesn't dress his age, either: his 6ft 3in frame looking rangy in faded jeans, T-shirt and heavy black boots. His hair may be thinning and becoming as pale as his skin, but his face is still strong boned, his hooded eyes still flinty. Intellectually, you suspect, there is not as much depth there as he likes to think there is, but he is friendly and engaging. Like many in his profession, he enjoys having a whinge about the actor's lot.

Don't get him on the subject of dressing-rooms, for example. He has just been touring the provinces before opening in the West End this week – 'the foreplay before the penetration,' he calls it, rather alarmingly – and the dressing-room he had in Cambridge was dark and subterranean. This one is windowless and has a fan whirring, but at least it is freshly decorated and all the light bulbs around the mirror are working. 'That's thanks to Madge,' he says. 'I was doing The Play What I Wrote here in 2002, just before Madonna did a show here and she paid for the dressing-rooms to be done up. But the funny thing was?…' he bounds up from the sofa and marches across the room to the shower area; here he describes two diagonal slashes with his arms, '…?they put crime scene tapes over the shower so no one else could use it before Madge.'

The play he did before that was Long Day's Journey into Night at the Lyric on Shaftesbury Avenue. 'In the dressing-room were little sachets of vermin poison. Pretty bloody awful. There was a mattress in there with a piece of fabric that looked like Monica Lewinsky's old dress on it. Half the lightbulbs had gone. I was there for 12½ weeks doing a play that was not a bundle of laughs, so I bought some ready-made curtains and a throw and some lightbulbs and insisted they had the room painted. They brought colour swatches of white, white or white – so I chose white.'

In his latest play, the first major revival of William Nicholson's award-winning Shadowlands, Dance plays C.S. Lewis. Although Nigel Hawthorne, on stage, and Anthony Hopkins, in the Oscar-nominated film version, are hard acts to follow in that role, Dance proves himself worthy. His struggle as the middle-aged Lewis to accept that he has fallen in love for the first time, only to lose his new wife to cancer, is mesmerising. 'It is about love in the presence of pain and suffering,' Dance says. 'C.S. Lewis believes pain is a tool. Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world.'

Presumably getting in the right reflective mood beforehand, while sitting in a pleasant dressing-room, is crucial to this performance? 'Your mood can be affected by the state of your dressing-room, and by the day you have had, but hopefully that doesn't affect the performance.'

I ask whether he can relate to the religious aspects of the play: C.S. Lewis, the devout Christian, agonises over the faith that has let him down. 'Not at all. I am an agnostic. I'm not bothered about not knowing. Religion is at the core of the play, but we pretend. It's my job. If I'm playing a murderer I don't murder people.'

And the academic aspects, the donnish world of Oxford? 'I am not an intellectual. I am reasonably intelligent, but not intellectual.' I only ask because he often plays men who are in professions that others find inspiring: Army officers, doctors and so on. When he prepares for such roles, does he ever wonder whether, by comparison, being an actor in greasepaint is somehow not quite a proper job for a grown man? He seems affronted by this question and answers in a loud and indignant voice. 'Some might think it's a job for children, but it's not! We do work very hard!'

Slightly taken aback, I say that I didn't mean to sound rude. I reframe the question in terms of the Samuel Johnson quote about every man thinking meanly of himself for not being a soldier. 'I see; well, I like pretending to be all those things. I like pretending to be someone in the military, but whether I could do it I don't know. That's why I am an actor.'

I tell him I went to see his Coriolanus years ago, the ultimate role for an actor with martial aspirations. 'London or Stratford?' The Barbican. 'Good. I was reasonably happy with it by the time we reached the Barbican.' It was a powerful and memorable performance, I say. Perfect casting.

The irony, though, was that Coriolanus is the patrician who is condescending towards the plebeians, and Dance's background is plebeian. He is the son of Nell, a former parlour-maid.

Dance returns to his actors-are-just-pretending theme: 'I just pretend. I was able to observe the aristocracy at close quarters because my mother worked for them. She certainly worked for much posher people than we were. Housekeeping. One observed it and absorbed it. My mother married above her station. She came from the East End. I'm not sure what my father did, because he died from a perforated ulcer when I was four, but I think his family had been confectioners. And I think he had been an engineer. A little further up the social scale than my mother. He used to do the occasional music hall recitation.'

Despite this background, when Dance started out in acting a fellow actor noted that he was 'a toff actor' as opposed to 'a peasant actor'. 'It's because I have a patrician face,' Dance says. He does indeed. But it is also to do with his bearing. As an actor he has a commanding presence and a certain grace. He can convey emotions with the flicker of a muscle, with the slightest movement of the eye. Two of his more polished aristocratic roles are the Earl of Erroll in White Mischief and Lord Raymond Stockbridge in Gosford Park. When he was filming the latter he told the director, Robert Altman, that he was in the wrong place, upstairs with the toffs; he should be downstairs with the servants. Altman said: 'Not with that face, Charles.'

It might be that he learnt his patrician bearing from observing his step-father, Edward, a civil servant. He had been the lodger. He drank lots of tea and did the pools. 'A fairly solitary men who seemed to have no friends or family, but quite decent. He looked after my mother. She would say, "When your father died I had 10 bob left in the world, dear".'

His mother's wasn't a happy life. Nell nursed Edward through cancer and then died from a heart attack six months after he did, in 1984, the year The Jewel in the Crown was making her son's name. They used to row a lot, mother and son. 'Terrible emotional scenes. She was a very emotional woman.'

I ask if she was socially insecure. 'She came from the servant class, which was not the same thing as the working class. The servant class is right in the middle. I'm not sure I believe there is such a thing as a middle class: it is either working class on the way up or aristocracy on the way down. She also, of course, was a lifelong Tory voter, as most people from the servant class were; you can't possibly be governed by your equals. You have to be governed by your betters.'

His brother is 10 years older, a retired naval officer who lives in France. 'He had been a difficult adolescent and my mother thought joining the Navy would make a man of him. So she marched him off to the recruiting office when he was 15, a decision my mother regretted until the day she died. I remember sharing a bedroom with him before he left for the Navy and there were books of poetry around the place and he wasn't a bad draughtsman either. All that had to go. My mother learnt from her mistake and allowed me to indulge in poetry and the arts.'

Charles Dance had been studying graphic design and photography at Leicester Art School when he got the acting bug. Steve McQueen and Peter Finch had inspired him to become a screen actor, while 'Brian Rix dropping his trousers in a farce made me want to prance about on stage'. He abandoned his course in favour of acting lessons from two retired thespians, Leonard and Martin. They were gay, but quiet about it, as society demanded at the time.

What was he like at that age? 'When I was 19, I was long-haired, going on the Aldermaston march, shagging everything in sight. The march was more fun than anything. I'm not especially political.'

Was he narcissistic as a young man? 'Not really, not until way after my teens. Mid to late twenties, possibly. I look around now and see guys who are fantastic looking and then I look in the mirror and think this is a very odd face. It doesn't bear close scrutiny. Bags under the eyes, thinning hair, I don't see a handsome man when I look in the mirror. Never have done. It is not an easy face to photograph, which is tricky in a film career unless you are in the hands of an astute and clever director of photography. I wear clothes quite well and am reasonably fit and have a good body, but I don't think I am particularly handsome. When people first started describing me as being that, at the time of Jewel in the Crown, I was surprised, but then I learnt to embrace it, a little too fondly.'

At the time, he was described as the English Robert Redford. I suggest it must have given him confidence to be told he had matinee-idol looks, even if he couldn't see it himself. 'Confidence is something I have had to acquire. This profession is littered with people, who, by their nature, are more introvert that extrovert. I can have my flamboyant moments, but I am, by nature, an introvert. I acquired confidence by giving myself severe talkings-to from time to time. I found that aspect of Coriolanus – the opening scenes where he is confident, strutting, all "I'm f---ing wonderful, and powerful", harder to act than the more vulnerable moments later in the play when it emerges that he is a mummy's boy.'

He thinks that early on in his career he may sometimes have been cast because of his looks – but not any more. 'Now I am getting more interesting roles. Mr Tulkinghorn in the BBC adaptation of Bleak House, for example. Or Ralph Nickleby [in The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby]. He is a complete s---. Evil, but interesting. Whereas there are only so many ways you can play a romantic leading man. You know you are there for a reason.'

He described himself earlier as 'shagging everything in sight'; just how successful was he with women? 'Not that successful. You know how it is when you are a young man: lots of groping most of the time, nothing serious.'

For 23 years he was married to Joanna, a sculptor. They have grown-up children: Oliver, who works in film, and Rebecca, who is in publishing. Then, in 2004, they divorced. Dance's name has been linked to one or two actresses and models since, but he nevertheless worries that he might end up alone. He prefers not to think about it. Indeed, he feels uncomfortable with this conversation, not least because his ex-wife was door-stepped by the press at the time of their divorce. 'I'd rather you avoided the subject,' he says, 'but I can't blame "the business" for the breakdown of my marriage. I don't want to talk about it. If I had a choice in the matter I would say "please don't go into all that", but if you want to insert something about it I can't stop you.'

I note that actors tend to be liberal by inclination, that this is partly to do with the bohemian life they lead: the touring, the intimacy with fellow cast members, the abandonment of self-consciousness. In Dance's case, that includes appearing nude. He has no qualms about it, as he demonstrated recently in the film Starter for Ten. He turned up on set for that scene already naked. When the wardrobe assistant offered to cover him up, he said: 'No need, darling'.

'Well, if you've done it once, after that it doesn't bother you,' he says now. 'To continue the painting analogy, painters have brushes and paints, we have this.' He sweeps his hands the length of his body. 'The audience feels cheated if you don't open up and be honest about yourself. I feel I have cheated myself if I don't go that far. Having stuff in reserve is to cheat.'

Similarly, he is not fussy about what he appears in, so long as the money is good. He has done a number of forgettable Miss Marple-type dramas on television and memorably wore fishnets and a red rubber micro-skirt for the Ali G movie. 'I'll do anything for money,' he says. 'People talk about choices. What choices? The choice is to work or not to work.'

I suppose he has an additional choice in that he can also write, produce and direct. Notably, he wrote, produced and directed Ladies in Lavender, a film about two sisters, played by Dames Maggie Smith and Judi Dench, living on the Cornish coast, who take in a Polish stray just before the Second World War. 'There was a day when I was stupid enough to try to direct Judi. She came up with a line that was a bit sentimental for her and I knelt down and touched her knee and said: "Judi, it is a bit Celia Johnson-ish." And she said: "How dare you? And get your hand off my knee.".'

The film grossed more than $30million. 'But none of it found its way into my pocket. It all went to the f---ing distributors and sales agents. I see the returns. I get "0000" next to my name while they are coining it in. It was a bugger to get the financing together for that film. I had to ask Judi and Maggie to defer fees and they sweetly said "of course, darling", even though they knew deferment usually means deferred indefinitely.'

He slips on a black polo-neck and scoops up a packet of cigarettes from among the greasepaint pots. He is going to pop outside for a quick fag. As we walk through the theatre we talk about Shadowlands and its funereal themes. He says he would have loved to have gone to George Melly's funeral. 'He had a cardboard coffin which people wrote funny things on, like, 'You owe me 20 quid, George".'

As we stand outside the stage door, in the drizzle, I ask if he has thought about what form he would like his own funeral to take. 'God no,' he says, lighting a cigarette. 'Too busy trying to live, for f---'s sake.'

'Shadowlands' is at the Wyndham's Theatre, London W1, until 15 December; www.shadowlandstheplay.com, 0870 950 0925

source: telegraph

#CD #charles dance #interview #the telegraph #a remarkable man

[rickyriddle]

Anime/Manga sociopathic characters

Hi! Here’s a new list of characters in anime and manga with a mental disorder, this time it’s sociopathy. In my psychopath characters list, I talked about the differences between a psychopath and a sociopath. I highly suggest you if you didn’t already do it, to go read it before looking at that list. It was harder to find sociopath characters, since it seems to be easier for an author to unconsciously create a psychopathic character than a sociopathic one. Some of them might not be entirely sociopath, but they all have sociopathic traits since sociopathy (anti-social personality disorder) might be a spectrum, therefore, someone could have sociopathic traits without being 100% a sociopath. It’s probably because usually, in order to be diagnosis sociopath, one needs to be 18 years old and over (while a psychopath is born that way, and sociopath is something that is developed). So a character under 18 might have the potential to become a sociopath, without being able to be diagnosis yet. Anyway, without further ado, here’s my list of sociopathic characters.

Full-fledge sociopath

Togane Sakuya (Psycho-pass)

Once again with a Psycho-pass character. For those of you who had seen the second season, you must know that Togane was created as an experience to create an artificial asymptomatic criminal, which I already linked to psychopathy. But Togane failed to keep is psycho-pass clear and thus, became the latent criminal with the darkest psycho-pass. So by that logic, he can’t be a psychopath, but he still has some traits similar to one, such as the ability to put a facade to make himself look friendly, lack of empathy, manipulative, liar, cruel. But those can also fit a sociopath. Since both psychopathy and sociopathy are part of the anti-social personality disorder, I think it’s possible that the experiment he underwent as a kid half worked, since he does show sign of having an anti-social personality disorder, but not the “good type”. He also lacks the ambitious and control desire of a psychopath, as well as hurting others for his own pleasure. Most of his actions are under the order of his mother.

Kizami Yuuya (Corpse Party)

That creep...At first I mistook him for a psychopath, but for my defence, I was young and didn’t know the difference between those two disorders. Kizami used to torture and kill small animals as a kid, which is usually a sign of anti-social personality disorder. Tho it’s more frequent for psychopath kids, it can also be observed in kids who have the potential to grow up as a sociopath. Psychopathic kids usually do that to experiment with killing, while sociopathic kids it’s more a way to express their frustration on a being weaker than them, which was probably the case with Kizami. As a kid, he felt unloved, misunderstood and put down by his family, especially his older siblings. Growing up he became distrustful of others and actually pretty much hate everyone, but put a facade of being normal, kind, friendly and charismatic, and was really popular at school. He never commits any murder, until he got the opportunity when he and his classmates were transported to a haunted school into another dimension. You see, unlike psychopath killers who planned their murders, sociopath killers are opportunist killers. They usually don’t plan their murders, they wait for an occasion to strike, or simply act on impulse. That’s what Kizami did, he ended up in the perfect situation to finally snap and go on a killing spree. Even if Kizami was 17 years, he’s close enough of 18 and would most likely have a sociopath diagnosis.

Asagiri Kaname (Mahou Shoujo Site)

Also known as shitty brother by the fandom, and this surname is well deserving. But Kaname isn’t only a sociopath, he’s also a narcissist. In fact, the perfect disorder to describe him would be a malignant narcissist, which is a mix of narcissistic personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder (sociopathy) and sadistic personality disorder (what a great combination...). It makes him close to a psychopath, but he’s too impulsive and emotional. He had the type of childhood to explain such a disorder. He was mistreated by his father who was completely obsessed about his grades. If Kaname didn’t have perfect grades, his father punched him. Growing up in an unstable or hostile environment can cause sociopathy, while either being put down or used by a parent for their own glory can cause narcissistic personality disorder. Kaname has no sympathy for others, he used them to achieve his goals and has no problem killing them, and he enjoyed abusing his little sister and tormenting others he views as inferior. He considered everyone a scum and view himself as blessed and chosen by gods, or even a god himself. He’s able to make himself look friendly and charming to hide his true self and manipulate others. All of this makes him a major asshole, but he’s not 100% to blame for that. His father is, Kaname is the result of bad parenting, and ended up being so horrible as a way to cope with his father’s abuse.

Grell Sutcliff (Kuroshitsuji)

[note: I’ll use they/them pronoun for Grell, since it’s still unclear if Grell is a homosexual man or a transgender woman. I’m doing this to avoid any conflict, this isn’t my personal view of this character, I’ll keep it for another post]

Grell is shown to lack understanding of compassion and human emotions, especially during the Jack the Ripper arc when they killed Madam Red for not killing Ciel. They have no problem with committing murder, they’re impulsive, violent, show no regret or remorse for there acts, and seems to lack empathy. They are able to fake a harmless persona to trick others, they have difficulties with authorities and keeping their job. I thought at first that it was because they are a shinigami, but we learned that shinigami used to be human and let’s not forget that the other shinigami aren’t acting this way. Interesting fact, the real Jack the Ripper, according to some analysis and studies, might have been a sociopathic serial killer due to their messy murders that didn’t seem to be the crime of a cold a prepared psychopathic serial killer. 

Shioi Rina (Mahou Shoujo Site)

Another MSS character. Shioi does exhibit a lot of sociopathic tendencies. She’s manipulative, cunning, violent, cruel, remorseless, impulsive, lacking regret for her actions and has no problem with killing. I thought at first that it was only in reaction to knowing about Tempest, but we learned later that she was already acting similarly before knowing about Tempest. She seems to have a hatred for others because of the bullying she underwent, which could have caused her to develop an anti-social personality. Even when she’s confronted to those she had harm by killing someone they loved (Najimi), she still shows no remorse or sympathy and even jokes about it. She may have developed some bond with the characters later on, but sociopaths are able to bond with those they feel are similar to them. Since the other characters are magical girls with a tragic past like her, it does make sense. The only thing that goes against it is the fact she’s apparently only 13, and usually such a diagnosis can only be made around 18. It could be because it’s a fictional character and that the author didn’t know about that, but other than the age, Shioi pretty much fits the sociopathic type.

Characters with sociopathic traits

Pretty much everyone in the Phantom Troupe (Hunter X Hunter)

Even if they do care about each other and are loyal to their group, they never show any compassion, sympathy or empathy for others outside their group and have no problem killing them. They have no consideration for others life and the law. They all seemed to have a rough past that could explain there possible anti-social personality. I don’t have much to say about them since I’m not talking about any of them specifically, but overall they fit the sociopathic type.

Hashiri Nio (Akuma no Riddle)

As you could read above Nio’s name, I’m not saying Nio is a sociopath. But she does have sociopathic traits. She’s acting all friendly and cheerful with people, but in reality, she admitted to hating them (in the manga only). This fake attitude to hide her hatred of others is common among sociopaths, who usually looks friendly and sociable, despite their dislikes for others in general. Nio also seems to lack empathy and sympathy for others, and can even show great cruelty. She does have the type of childhood that could fit the anti-social personality. She has no relative, she seemed to have been raised on the street and didn’t even have a name before she met Yuri. She was also pretty much abused by Yuri while growing up (hitting a kid with a crop and having an implied intimate relationship with them is abuse, in case someone has a doubt). Since Nio is only 15 and that AnR is pretty realistic when it comes to character’s personality and psychology, Nio couldn’t have a diagnosis, and the fact she’s pretty much brainwashed and under Yuri’s queen bee ability is fucking up her brain in a way that could really happen in real life, making it difficult to actually have a clear idea of her mental condition. Without Yuri, Nio would have probably grown up as a sociopath, and even with Yuri, there’s a chance Nio ends up this way while growing up. After all, it’s not like Yuri would care, all she wants is Nio acting polite and obeying to her. So Nio might because as an adult a sociopath with everyone, except with Yuri thanks to the queen bee ability.

Saionji Hiyoko (Danganronpa)

That little...Okay, let’s talk about Hiyoko. Once again, I’m not saying she’s a full-fledged sociopath, but she does show sociopathic traits. She has a liking for killing small creatures, such as ants and crabs. She doesn’t hurt any humans physically, but that’s probably because she’s too physically weak to do so, so she instead hurt weaker creatures then her. She’s verbally abusive to others and likes to torment them. Hiyoko had a terrible past where people were jealous of her, to the point of trying to kill her. The only person she seems to like in her family was her father, and she was separated from him. She grew up in a strict and hostile environment, which are the usual ingredients to create a sociopath. Anti-social behaviour is a way to cope with hostility, a way to protect yourself, but when it’s used to often, it can turn into a mental disorder. But Hiyoko isn’t a lost cause, since she shows signs of changing over the series. She honestly cares for Mahiru and even shows concern for Mikan, her usual victim. It could be because due to her past, Hiyoko couldn’t trust others, but by befriending Mahiru and eventually her other classmates, she learns to trust others and lost some of her anti-social personality, which is possible. Hiyoko is 16-17 years old, she wouldn’t be able to have a diagnosis, and she hasn’t killed anyone. 

Accelerator (Toaru no majutsu no Index)

Once again, I’m not saying Accel is a sociopath, because he isn’t. But he does act in a sociopathic way, especially in the beginning of the story. He was used as a guinea pig all his childhood, which could explain his behaviour that looks really anti-social. He was then asked to kill multiple clones for an experiment, and became ruthless, cruel and even sadistic. But after he got beaten by the level 0 Touma, Accel changes. It looks like it was what he needed to snap out of his sociopathic behaviours. He realized how wrong he was and regret his acts. He still continues to act cruelly with his enemies, but he’s actually trying to change for the best. So Accel may have the potential to become a sociopath (and would probably have become one without Touma’s punch) he isn’t one. He continued to have some anti-social behaviours, but he couldn’t be view as a sociopath because he’s able to have remorse now. 

So that’s it for my sociopathic anime/manga characters list. I’m less confident when it comes to sociopaths than psychopaths, so it was harder for me to make this list. Thanks for reading and next time, I’ll make a second psychopathic list.

#psycho-pass #corpse party #mahou shoujo site #kuroshitsuji #black butler #magical girl site #hunter x hunter #akuma no riddle #riddle story of devil #hxh #anr #danganronpa #sdr2 #to aru majutsu no index #to aru series #togane sakuya #yuuya kizami #asagiri kaname #grell sutcliff #Shioi Rina #Phantom Troupe #Nio Hashiri #hiyoko saionji #accelerator #sociopath #headcanon #analysis #theory #ricky talk