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zoeykallus · 1 year

Note

Hi Zoey!! Hope you're doing well!! You deserve all the love!!

This is my 2nd request ever, and you handled my 1st request beautifully, so i thought that perhaps i would request again?

Recently, i was randomly hard-blocked on Tumblr by a (now former) mutual.. and also got randomly cut off by some friends irl too ...

To this day i have not the faintest idea what i did wrong and don't even have the capacity to ask any of them.. it makes me incredibly sad/disheartened to loose them, especially since i don't know/understand if/what i did anything wrong..

As far as i've been aware i never violated anyone's guidelines/boundaries.. it makes me physically and mentally ill to think that i could have somehow done something so terrible accidentally/unknowingly and gotten cut off for it.. 😥💔

Despite getting some support and lovin' about it, I've been crying about it so much and don't know how to deal with it still 😓💔

What are your thoughts on how the TBB, (and possibly Wolffe, Rex, and/or Cody if it isn't too much), would react/deal with/comfort (preferably fem!) Reader on randomly loosing friends and getting very sad over it?

I'm sorry for all the angst here!! Also, i know you already wrote something kind of similar (had to do with TBB helping the reader lose a toxic friend), so if this is too much, repetitive, or uncomfortable for you, i totally understand not doing the request!!

Take care and thank you so much for all that you do!! Your love and support and kindness knows no bounds!! 🫶🏼💕🩷

Aloha, hun!

I'm really sorry to read that. It's hard to lose friends, especially when you don't really know why or what's going on. The only way to find out would be asking them about it. But you mentioned you don't feel up to ask them yourself. Maybe you have someone, a friend, who'd be willing to do that for you? Sometimes you can't change peoples minds, and you don't have to. Real friends don't just leave you behind without telling you what bothered them. Real friends communicate and try to fix things and don't just leave or ignore. Hold on to the real ones and let the ones who want to go just go. I know it feels devastating, but you don't need people like this in your life. If they just show you the cold shoulder without voicing what's the deal, they are not willing to really make an effort for this friendship, so why should you run after them? Invest your energy in your real friends.

And friends who need some time to themselves for personal reasons usually at least tell you that they need to retreat for a while, at least in my experience (I do that sometimes when I need to charge up my mental batteries). Cutting someone off without at least addressing them once about the reason is Kindergarten or headless teenager behavior at best. People who really care/cared, don't just vanish out of your life quietly.

That's probably not making you feel much better, but what I'm trying to say is, that you should focus on yourself a bit more and those who deserve your friendship. Don't cry over undeserving idiots. Easier said than done, I know. It'll take time, like everything emotionally heavy does, but you'll feel better at some point when you manage to sort out your priorities. And Drama queens who cut you off on purpose, to make you run after them, are even worse. Those are energy vampires, don't play that game with them, you will always be at the exhausted, losing end.

But, I'm still here, not exactly a close friend, but a mutual I guess. I hear you and even though I can't do much for you right now, I can send you a hug and write something for you 🤗

I picked this request out of my list to do before the others, because I felt this was a little more... urgent, at the moment.

The Bad Batch/Wolffe/Rex x F!Reader HCs - True Friends

Warnings: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

___________________

Losing friends is never easy. You struggle with being left behind by some of them. How do the clones react?

___________________

Hunter

He is organizing and sorting a few things for the next mission when he talks to you and asks what is bothering you. Your revelation makes him wonder.

"And they didn't say anything? Didn't say why?

You shake your head sadly.

Hunter puts down the datapad on which he's just checked an inventory list and turns to face you fully.

"Then they're not friends either"

You frown and look at him questioningly.

Gently but firmly, he says, "Friends don't just turn their backs on you without comment. Someone who doesn't even expend enough energy to tell you what might be bothering them didn't really care much about this friendship or you in the first place."

You wrap your arms around your body, really not feeling much better now.

Hunter comes closer and takes off a glove and gently strokes your cheek.

"I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't have to chase after these people. Focus on your real friends, the ones you can always count on. Me, for example," he says with a smile, "Or my brothers. We would never abandon you".

"It just bugs me that I don't know what's going on," you say dejectedly, leaning your head against his chest.

Hunter puts an arm around your shoulders and continues to stroke your cheek with one hand.

"I know, that would keep me busy too. But all I can tell you is focus on other things, other, real friends, important things in your life. If you want I can ask them if you tell me who it is, but I can guarantee you, no matter how it turns out, friends like that will always let you down, again and again"

You sigh wistfully.

"You are a great person, a great friend and partner, don't worry, there will always be someone who appreciates that, one way or another"

Echo

He looks at you worriedly, a depressed expression on his face. Echo can't quite understand why anyone would act this way toward you.

"Maybe they just need some time to themselves?" he asks cautiously.

"All three of them?" you say doubtfully.

Echo sits down next to you in the grass in the shade where the found you and moves a little closer.

He says thoughtfully, "Real friends talk to each other, they say what's going on and don't just take off. Maybe they weren't as good friends as you thought."

"Maybe," you say quietly.

Echo puts an arm around you, and you automatically lean against him, seeking warmth and comfort from his body.

"You're never all alone, Mesh'la. I'm here, my brothers are here, and Omega adores you. You have a family here with us that you can always count on, at all times."

You smile. The loss of your friends hurts, especially that you don't know why. But the thought and feeling of having Echo by your side gives you a sense of security, the impression that everything is actually okay.

"I love you, Echo, what would I do without you?"

Echo gently hugs you and says, "Don't worry about that, you won't get rid of me that easily".

Wrecker

He looks at you in confusion.

"Why would they do that? Friends don't do that"

With a helpless sigh, you look up at your gentle giant.

"Maybe I've upset them?"

Wrecker frowns critically, takes your hand and pulls you with him to the open ramp where he sits down on it and pulls you onto his lap.

Gently putting both arms around you, he says, "Even if that were true, which I kind of can't imagine, then you bring up something like that. Problems that you ignore or eat into yourself only become bigger and bigger problems. If they're really upset about you, then they need to tell you, have a conversation. To just ignore you or shut you out is pretty childish."

You lean against him, resting your head on his shoulder.

"It just feels so weird, so heavy and devastating".

Wrecker strokes your back and pulls his arms, gently, a little tighter around you.

"Don't be sad Cyar'ika, you still have us after all, and that won't change. I love you"

"You are so sweet, Wrecker" you say softly with a small smile.

He chuckles, "I know, I'm great, aren't I?"

"Indeed," you say with a soft laugh, "I love you too."

Tech

He listened to you carefully. When you finish your sentence, Tech puts the datapad aside and looks at you thoughtfully.

"Why would a friend turn his back on you without justification?"

You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

"That's just what's bothering me. Did I upset them, perhaps?"

"Come here, my love," Tech taps the seat next to him invitingly for you to join him before he says, "Well, I think that's unlikely, but it's still possible. However, it still wouldn't justify a lack of explanation about the situation."

You look at him for help.

"What would you do, Tech?"

He blinks, then says, "You know me, I wouldn't dwell on it for long. Even if I had negative feelings about it, I would go on my way and do what needs to be done."

"But what if it was Hunter and Wrecker?"

Tech sighs, "Well, we had something similar with Crosshair, however he gave us some sort of explanation. I don't know, honestly, I don't think there could be a fault line between us that isn't addressed. Especially Hunter would be looking for a dialogue to clear things up, and Wrecker probably would too."

He looks at you, trying to read your face.

After a pause, he says, "Well, in my estimation, these friends aren't worth your concern or friendship. If they don't feel the need to communicate with you about any problems that may exist, then they are obviously not willing to put any particular effort into this relationship. So my conclusion would be, if you are not worth their effort, then you should do the same the other way around and save your energy for more important things and people that are worth yours. Time for new priorities. If it helps you, I could work out a plan with you to help you redirect your energies and reorganize. It may be a good therapeutic distraction."

You smile at him.

"My beloved genius, I would greatly appreciate your help, yes."

Crosshair

He frowns.

"Well, I guess they're idiots," he says dryly, "You know I don't like most of your friends anyway."

Crosshair doesn't like to share your attention, that's the main reason. He tolerates your friends for your sake, but he'd much rather have you to himself. However, he would never go so far as to try to separate you from your friends.

When he sees the sad look on your face, he says, "If they just cut all the lines without telling you why, then they weren't friends either. You don't turn your back on a friend for no reason, and even if there is a reason, at least you talk about it, and then you decide whether to go your separate ways."

"Is that so?" asks Echo dryly from the background.

"Quiet back there," Crosshair grumbles, "You knew why we parted ways, I never made a secret of why I left."

"True."

Crosshair looks at you again and says, "People who really care about you don't turn their backs on you without comment, no matter how much your opinions may differ. What happens after a clarifying conversation is another story"

"Sometimes an ugly one," Echo mutters.

Crosshair snorts, "Would you please stay out of this".

You look from one to the other, finally looking up at Crosshair and asking, "What do you think I should do?"

"Keep going. Don't run after them, focus on yourself and the people who are really there for you," he lifts your chin slightly with his long fingers, "Like me for example."

Wolffe

He puts down the box he just took off his speeder, takes off his helmet and tucks it under his arm. He looks at you with a furrowed brow.

"Well, I guess they're not really friends, then."

"What do you mean?"

Wolffe looks at you urgently, "Someone who really cares doesn't turn their back on you without comment. Simple as that."

You wrap your arms around your body.

"I guess they don't care about me then."

Wolffe sighs, lifting your chin with his fingers and seeking eye contact.

"I care about you, a lot. I'm certainly not the only one"

You look up at him, swallowing and blinking back tears.

"It's just so scary. It feels like at some point everyone could suddenly be gone and then I'm alone"

Wolffe puts his helmet on the speeder, then puts both hands on your shoulder left and right.

"Cyare, you're not alone, you won't be alone. It may feel scary and defeating now, but you'll get over it. You will see and learn in time who your real friends are, what really matters and what your priorities should be"

"You won't abandon me, right?"

Wolffe gently kisses your forehead and says, "Never."

Rex

Rex looks at you in surprise. He expected everything possible, but not really.

"Do I know these friends?"

"No not really"

He shrugs and says, "Well, I don't really know what to tell you. In my experience, friendships are never one sided, at least they shouldn't be. You invest quite a lot of energy in these contacts and suddenly nothing comes back? Mesh'la, it sounds like you were used and… well, don't need you anymore. That doesn't have much to do with friendship, though."

Startled, you sit down on a bench nearby. Rex follows you. He looks at you meekly and says, "Sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that."

You sigh softly and say, "Maybe. But maybe I needed to hear it."

Rex shrugs and says quietly, "Maybe I'm wrong too, Mesh'la, but you should focus on yourself for now and be careful in case they contact you again. You can't let them hurt you."

He sits down next to you and says with a gentle smile, "In any case, you have me, I won't let you down."

His hand clasps yours with gentle pressure.

When you look up at his face, he gives you an encouraging look with that mischievous, yet soft and warm smile of his.

"I got you, Mesh'la, always"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@starwarsnerd111

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deadbydangit · 19 days

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Hey, how long, hope you're okay. Can I ask how they would react to a reader who gets stressed easily? With Vittorio, Gabriel and David

Hey! I get stressed easily too! I can absolutely do that. Please enjoy.

With an easily stressed reader: Vittorio, Gabriel, David

Vittorio Toscano

He may seem cool, calm, and collected.

But he gets stressed just as easily as you do.

If not more.

However, he's very good at keeping it under control.

His life has been full of hardships and frustrations.

Not to mention constant betrayal and violence.

Add to the fact that his studies have always been very challenging.

He gets it, the realm can be stressful.

And he'll never blame you for feeling stressed.

He'll never tell you to calm down or chill out.

He'll never be little your feelings either.

He's found peace through meditation.

Finding inner Peace by looking within was his answer to his stress.

"Perhaps it will help you as well?"

He's absolutely willing to teach you what he knows as well.

He might even suggest inviting others.

"Let's share our enlightenment with others. Let's start a whole group."

He is fully dedicated to helping others, he always has been.

Don't worry if you feel like starting a group is going to get you neglected by him.

If you feel like that, he won't start the group at all.

He'll focus solely on you if that's what you want.

Vittorio really just wants to see you feel better.

Because seeing you so stressed out is heartbreaking to him.

Gabriel Soma

Stress huh?

Well, he'll certainly try his best to help you.

He was cloned for one purpose.

He was designed and trained to do a job his whole life.

So Gabriel is so accustomed to doing what he needs to do that it never stressed him out.

He had plenty of practice doing so.

However, he did feel some anxiety when he first entered the realm.

So he can sort of relate to what you're going through.

But, he knows he doesn't know enough about what you're going through to actually help you properly.

So, he'll ask more of the spiritual and medically adept survivors to try and help.

And he's willing to ask everyone.

He wants to learn of every little method that would help calm you down.

From meditation to massages to medication.

All he wants is to see you feel better.

He leans more toward naturalistic cures and healing.

He just believes it's safer.

The use of plants to make teas or burning incense really appeals to him.

If none of that works, he'll continue to search for a way to make you feel better.

And he won't rest until you're nice and relaxed.

David King

"Stress?"

"Never met them. Is that a friend of yours?"

Aside from being kind of clueless.

David has never really felt stress in his life.

When he was younger, everything was just kind of handed to him.

When he was older, he could just punch someone to get what he wanted.

And, because he was good at punching people, he did get what he wanted.

He never really had to worry about the little things.

And, even if there was something that he should have worried about, he just never did.

He's always been the 'go with the flow' kind of person.

Even when he entered the realm he didn't seem to fully grasp the gravity of the situation.

That, or he just didn't really care.

So you're going to have to go into great detail in simple words why you're so stressed.

He still might not get it after that.

He'll probably do something kind of dumb, like just offer you junk food because I always helps him feel better.

Don't get mad at him, he's really trying.

If food doesn't work, this blockhead will go to everybody to see if they have any advice.

And I mean everyone.

Killers, survivors, it doesn't matter.

He might be kind of a jerk while doing it though.

"Dwight, you're stressed all the time. How do you deal with it?"

He's a blockhead but he's really making an effort.

And that's got to account for something, right?

If nothing else, he'll wrap you up in the tightest and sweetest bear hug he can manage.

He gives the best hugs.

All that matters to him is seeing you be yourself again.

#dbd imagines #dbd ask blog #dbd x reader #dbd survivor #dbd david #dbd vittorio #dbd gabriel

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blackbat05 · 1 year

Text

Burnout

Jason Todd x Reader (University AU)

Plot: It's the last semester of school, but you're feeling out of sorts. Jason provides the moral support that you need.

Genre: PG-13, comfort.

A/N: Yet again, for self-indulgent purposes. It's my last sem in uni but why am I so listless lmao. Feedback always appreciated!

With a loud sigh, you find yourself sinking into the big bean bag, belongings long abandoned at the side.

The last semester had just started, but you were already feeling like a deflated balloon. Maybe it was the fact that half of your university life was blighted by the pandemic. Not that you didn't mind at the start.

You didn't have to wake up at an ungodly hour to squeeze in the rush hour. You didn't have to deal with boring professors or obnoxious classmates. Taking a break meant walking to the fridge to pull out your favorite drink.

But as time went by, you felt the online fatigue. You wondered if what was supposed to be the most exciting time of your life would have changed if not for the pandemic.

Things were better now. People moved around freely. Friends reunited, eagerly chatting about having lunch at the new cafe two blocks down.

Not you. You were lost. So very lost.

You groan inwardly, realizing the essay that was due in less than a week. Opening your eyes, you finally see a figure looming over you, his signature smirk plastered on his face. Oh were you glad to see your best friend, your savior on this bleak university campus.

"Well if this ain't a sight."

"Hello to you Jason. Get a bag and sit down before I sprain my neck you giraffe."

Jason chuckles at your wise-cracking, doing as you say. Long limbs splayed on the carpet, he lays beside you, staring into the fluorescent lights of the library. With the sounds of students clacking away at their laptops filling the air, the day finally hits both you and Jason. He turns to you slightly, sees the tensed muscles on your face, and frowns.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." You mumbled. As always, Jason was the perceptive one in this relationship. You were grateful for someone as sensitive and caring as him but today, you just weren't in a talking mood.

You feel some movement beside you and you see Jason getting up. He extends a hand, much to your confusion.

"Let's get out of here."

"But we have one more elective class." You pointed out.

Jason shrugs. "If you're worried about the assignment, I can help you." He pulls you up and grabs your bag. "But from what I see, what you need is self-care. Let's grab something to eat - your choice."

You can't help but smile at his effort. "You treating?"

He pulls out a black card, an impish grin on his face. "Yes, and no. Today's lunch will be sponsored by Bruce Wayne. And maybe we can talk about that graduation trip you really wanted. I'm sure Bruce won't have any issues."

You laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of this situation. Jason was right - it was no use trying to drag oneself on an empty tank.

Your school life may not have been exactly ideal, but there were also upsides. From beginning to end, through thick and thin, Jason Todd was there with you till the very end.

And he was willing to walk with you further.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd comfort fic #red hood

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magicalqueennightmare · 1 year

Text

Sins & Amends Chapter 8

(Gif by @ banditthewriter)

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary : Frank knows just what to say to light a fire under Billy. Maria confronts you about your feelings at the same time

A few days turned into two weeks since you had any communication with Billy. You were used to radio silence during Frank's deployments so you really weren't that worried. You had work, the kids, Maria and Curtis to fill your time.

Billy on the other hand found his mind drifting to you whenever he had down time. Alice's teasing has stuck with him. What if you found someone? Someone that could admit how they felt about you? That didn't have a reputation like he did? That didn't start life out as a gutter rat and scraped and clawed just to find some sort of footing.

You deserved the best. From the first day he met you his interest was perked and that was before he got to know you.

Over time he'd seen you cry, seen you laugh until you got hiccups. He'd saw the way your face looked illuminated by the first rays of sunlight in the morning. He'd fell asleep with you tucked up next to him either watching movies, by a campfire a few times or just enjoying each other's company. He'd heard your worst fears and your greatest dreams. He'd sat listening as you described lives you'd saved and wouldn't take the compliment of him calling you a hero brushing it off as saying it was just your job.

Somewhere along the way he'd fallen harder than he ever thought he would for anyone. Whether it was the way you smiled when you would brush his hair back from his face or how you'd gently encourage him to talk about the things that ran through his head instead of bottling them up.

He'd seen the way you were always there for Maria when she needed a shoulder, how you jumped in to help Curt with his physical therapy and rehab. You were the most compassionate and caring person he'd ever met and beautiful on top of all that. He truly didn't see how you were still single.

A small part of him hoped maybe you were waiting on him but then the rest of him was quick to remind himself that how would that be fair to you?

"Bill!" He blinked a few times then turned in his cot to look at Frank "What?" "I've called your name four damn times. What the hell has you all spun up?" Frank asked propping himself up on his elbow. "Nothing man"

He hoped Frank would let it go at that cause god knows he wasn't exactly feeling all sharing is caring at the moment. "Yea that nothing got a name or should I guess? I'm willing to bet a hundred I'd get it right on the first try" that made him sit up "what you going on about Frankie?"

He didn't miss the grin that slipped onto Frank's face "Just thinking out loud" "about whatever is on my mind?" Frank shrugged "That and wondering whether or not Y/N went out with that truck lieutenant what's his name"

"Hunter?" Billy couldn't hide the annoyance he felt at the mention of the guy. He'd been sniffing around you for the last two months before this most recent deployment. He was around Billy's height but that was where the similarities ended. He was blonde, blue eyed and seemed more suited to be surfing the coast in California than working for the FDNY.

"Yea Maria said he had asked her out the last time I talked to her. Dunno if she agreed or not" he said it nonchalantly on purpose as he turned as if to get comfortable to go to sleep but had to stifle a laugh when a pillow smacked him in the head "The fuck was that for Bill?" He asked chunking the pillow back and slinging his feet around to be facing his friend.

Billy was trying to hold his tongue but he was a bit too annoyed to do so. "You've went two weeks without telling me that? God damn Frankie. What if she went out with him? Fuck man. She deserves better than some pretty boy smoke eater" Frank was grinning by that point despite seeing how much Billy was fuming. "Well damn Bill who'd you have in mind for her?"

Billy stopped mid rant and actually looked at Frank long enough to realize he'd just let his tongue loosen enough to tell on himself. "How long have you known?" "That you're crazy for her? A while. It's not hard to see to anyone except you and her apparently"

"Shit. What the hell am I supposed to do?" It was a simple enough question but it made Billy want to flinch at how pathetic he sounded. Fuck he was Billy the beaut. He had women stepping on each other at bars for his attention why the hell was it so difficult to face his feelings for you? "Maybe in two days when communication is back up you call her? Talk to her?" Frank was staring at him now and it took every ounce of self control to not look away. Instead he nodded "Yea I think I need to man up"

"Attaboy. Now how's about you shut the hell up so I can get some sleep?" Frank said with a grin before flopping back onto his cot which creaked at the sudden movement. "Yea get your beauty sleep Frankie. God knows you need it" Billy barely ducked before Frank's boot zipped over his head.

You laughed watching Lisa slide around the corner in her socks giggling. She was supposed to be in bed twenty minutes ago but well bedtimes were supposed to be a little relaxed on weekends weren't they?

You'd finally bribed her and Frank Jr with promises of pancakes come morning if they wouldn't give their mom too hard of a time. You felt bad because you hadn't been able to stay over as much as you normally would during a deployment but the station house was a paramedic down so that meant you had to pick up a few more shifts.

A new girl had been hired and fit in beautifully with the existing team so that meant your schedule could go back to normal. You'd missed Alice as your partner full time and you missed spending as much time with Maria as the kids.

"Night aunt Y/N!" She called down the stairs and you could hear Maria rounding her up for a reading of "One batch, two batch" so you decided to clean up the kitchen.

---------------

You had just finished putting away the last of the dishes when you heard Maria's quiet footsteps coming down the stairs and turned towards her with a smile "Munchkins sleeping?" She nodded "They were both so wound up from the thought of getting to spend an entire weekend with aunt Y/N"

You grinned and did a mock curtsy "I apologize ma'am" she rolled her eyes at your actions "Grab the wine out the fridge I'll get the glasses"

------------------

Later the two of you were curled up on the couch watching a movie and you noticed she kept glancing your way so you finally paused the movie and turned to face her pulling your feet up underneath you "Yes Mrs Castle is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

She shrugged then said "Communication should be back up for the guys soon" you knew her well enough to know her fishing for something tone but chose to let her wade deeper into whatever she was getting at. "Yea. They've been radio silent for two weeks. I wanna make sure Frank's in one piece. If he gets hurt i may just kill him myself"

"What about Billy?" She asked eyeing you over the brim of her wine glass and you knew what she was getting at. You'd been side stepping it since Hunter had asked you out a few weeks before. He was cute and sweet. A bit of a goofball at times but it was nice. He was genuinely a good guy but you just couldn't see yourself with him. Why? Oh because you were hung up on Billy and the feelings you had unintentionally developed for him.

"Yea I want him to come home in one piece too" you finally admitted and she grinned "Are you two ever gonna realize that you've practically been a couple for nearly a year now without all the fun stuff?" "Ria!!" You nearly hollered then caught yourself remembering the kids were asleep.

She locked her gaze on you and it was everything you could do to not squirm. "I've known you for many many years Y/N. I've seen you happy, I've seen you sad, I've seen you pissed. The way you look at Billy, how comfortable you are around him hell it even transcends how you are with Frank and Curt and those two consider you a little sister. All I'm saying is that it's apparent he makes you happy and that you make him happy. I can tell and more importantly he talks to Frank or rambles as Frank put it. You two need to take that leap. I think it could be worth the risk"

"And if it's not?" You asked in a quiet voice so she pulled your head over on her shoulder "Then I'll make good on my initial threat to him concerning you" and that mental image alone was enough to make a small laugh escape your lips.

You tried to push Maria's words out your head as you filled the next two days with her and the kids but when Sunday night and you were back in your apartment getting ready for work the following day all your nerves managed to hit at once.

You were checking over your med bag when the chime starting going off from your laptop alerting you to a video chat request coming through. You sat your bag down next to your dresser and slowly walked over to your bed as if you were approaching a wild animal more than a dell.

You smiled when you saw Billy's face and self consciously ran a hand through your hair even as you hit the button to accept. A moment later the screen gave way to an image of him smiling back at you "Y/N you're a sight for sore eyes" you bit your cheek to keep the blush from spreading across your face and mentally kicked Maria for getting under your skin before saying "I see you're still in one piece. That's very good news. I assume Frank is too?"

He grinned "Yes ma'am. Here's across the room talking to Maria and the kids. How are you? Anything new?" "I know now two new disney songs thanks to Lisa and I delivered a baby the same night I talked to you last" you replied with a smile sliding up further on the bed to get comfortable before pulling the computer into your lap.

"Anything else?" He asked with a tilt of his head those dark eyes making you lose any train of thought you may have had. "Um nothing notable" you answered after a moment hoping he hadn't noticed you simply staring at him. Jesus Maria and Alice in your ear had really messed with your head. You'd seen him practically naked due to bad communication of shower times at the cabin before and didn't stare this much ok maybe you did but he hadn't noticed and hell who could blame you?

"Alice still on you about being single? Cause i hear one of the firemen at your station house asked you out?" He said it like he was asking you what the weather was like but you didn't miss the slight tick in his jaw when he spoke so you decided to test of Maria's theory. If she was right that would be wonderful and if she was wrong well rejection would hurt less with so much distance and another five months between you.

"Oh yeah Hunter asked me out a couple weeks ago. You remember him right he's the truck lieutenant on rescue squad" you tentatively said and could see his jaw clench more. Fighting to keep yourself calm at the proposition of Maria being right you continued "He's a pretty chill guy to work with. He's always so sweet to anyone during calls and he even helps restock the rig if we need anything from the supply closet while we're counting down plus I mean he's not exactly ugly" it was true Hunter was an attractive guy.

You felt your heart jump when Billy cut you off by saying "Well shit if good ol Hunter is so amazing why aren't you off with him instead of wasting time talking to me?" You could see he was about to go into a full blown rant so before he could you confessed "because I'd pick you over any man in New York City any day of the week Russo"

He paused, a smile slowly working it's way onto his face "What'd you say?" "I'd pick talking to you over being with any other man in New York City" you repeated chewing your bottom lip from nerves.

"So I take it you didn't say yes when he asked you out?" He pushed and you shook your head "Told him no. He's a good guy but he's not my type. He was understanding about it"

You wanted to cry from just how exposed you felt. You were putting a years long friendship on the line not to mention your heart. "Well what is your type then?" You swallowed hard when he asked but figured it was now or never. "Well someone who's brave, who doesn't mind fighting for what he believes in. Handsome and knows it, a bit cocky about his looks at times but still a sweetheart deep down. Someone who would hold me for hours after a bad call and make sure I wasn't alone even if I insisted I was ok"

Your gaze fell to your hands as you felt a blush warm your cheeks. Several seconds passed during which you wanted to find a hole to climb into before he spoke again "Sounds like you've got a pretty solid idea of who you want" you nodded still not looking at the screen until he added "Well I'm sure you'd be interested to know I've already met who I want to be with too"

Your eyes flew up to the screen and your heart felt like it was on the verge of either exploding or crumbling and which one rested solely on the next words to come out his mouth "Tell me about her?" You asked quietly and he smiled softly "She's beautiful god the first day I met her she knocked the wind out of me with just how gorgeous she looked in shorts and an old t-shirt. She's braver than some of the men I serve with hell you gotta be running head first into situations like she does to try to help people. She jumped in feet first to be a surrogate parent to Frankie's kids when he can't be there. She backs those she loves with everything she has and would go through hell for anyone she considers family. Not to mention she is fucking adorable when she falls asleep leaning over on me"

You were fighting back tears of relief by that point. For so long you dreamed of Billy saying those things, of him wanting to be with you and now here he was saying it "Did she finally figure out how I feel?" He asked after a moment and you nodded "Yea she did" "So does that mean we're gonna give this a try? I've never really been a relationship type of guy but Y/N sweetheart I wanna be for you if you'll have me" you almost laughed at the honest look of uncertainty on Billy's face. You'd never really seen it on him before.

"Yea Billy I want you. I've wanted you for so long I just didn't want to fuck up the friendship we have" it felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest just saying those words. "Why have we both waited this long to tell each other?" He asked with a broad smile.

"Cause you're both idiots" Frank answered walking up behind Billy and giving him a playful shove then winked at the laptop "Y/N good to see you kid" "Hey Frank. You doing good?" You responded wiping your hand down your face. "Yea I'm good. I talked to Maria and the kids so I'm great. Tell me one thing though did you and Bill get on the same page cause I'm tired of watching a grown man pining over someone. It's kind of pathetic but pretty funny when it comes down to it"

For only like the third time since you met him you saw a blush spread across Billy's face before he said "Ok Frankie your time is up. Go call Curt and annoy him" then shoved him out of view of the screen. You tried and failed to stifle a laugh "Wait I want Frank back! I wanna hear about you pining over me. Come on Billy if you're gonna be with me the least you can do is give me a confidence boost" you teased.

He rolled his eyes then met your gaze with a look that made your stomach flip with unspoken promises "Oh sweetheart I'll do anything you want once I'm home but yes for your peace of mind I was a bit bitchy thinking about you with that damn fireman"

"Hunter" you supplied the name and he wrinkled up his nose like he smelled something foul "Yea him. But now I know you feel the same way about me. Hell for the first time I've got someone to come home to" "On one condition" you added and saw a look of confusion go through his eyes "which is?" "I get a kiss the moment you get to my side" you answered and the look you got in response was enough to make you bite your bottom lip but not from nerves this time "Where do you want that kiss?" He asked and you had to swallow hard for a moan to not escape you. "Billy Russo. You're supposed to wine and dine me before you try to seduce me"

He shrugged "I've still got a few months before that so why not get a head start on the seducing part" you shook your head but couldn't keep the smile off your face. Billy really did want you and now it was just the wait to get him home.

Tags @intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

#au billy russo #billy russo au #billy russo x y/n #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #sins and amends masterlist

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bubbleonice · 5 months

Text

Reading for Timothee Chalamet:

This is a collection of requests gathered together concerning Timothee Chalamet. I will try to sort out the questions, and try my best to find some answers within my cards.

Ok. Let’s dive into the questions🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Will Timothee spend his birthday with Kylie? And will he spend Christmas or NY with her?

I want to remind you all what I said earlier about this relationship already being over. I assume already back in October after Paris Fashion Week or will maybe now around this time in December. I know there has been stories, news articles and what not that might seem contradicting to what I am saying. Just remember I also said Kylie would make it seem like they are still together.

I am very confident in my cards. Ans I trust them with all my heart. As I repeat time after time, the cards are never wrong. However the way I interpret them may sometimes be incorrect. But concerning this spesific issue, I am quite certain. We have heard stories and seen biased articles, but no concrete evidence. If anyone was confident in what was presented to them were the truth, no one would be asking me these questions. You all have that gut feeling as well. Trust them.

However, I will still pull cards since energies are constantly changing and moving. We need to clarify whether there are any updates.

Three of cups reversed: , the Three of Cups signifies "no." It mostly symbolises a sensation of social imbalance, which can ultimately cause one to feel alone in their surroundings. It could indicate that the connection you once had with your partner has dissipated, and it may be time to consider moving on. This card suggests that your relationship is at a crossroads. As we already see here, we are at a crossroad. Something is shifting.

He will not be celebrating with her, but we shouldn’t be surpriae at all if we might still hear that he did. There will be no proof, but we will hear certain narratives, like we have heard and seen few times. Or maybe there will be old blurry pictures presented to us for this purpose. Be aware of deceptions here. Don’t just trust blindly.

Aware of Timothee and Armie: I am not sure what she is supposed to be aware of? That they have a spiritual connection? Even if she did, I don’t think she cares. It wouldn’t matter to her at all.

Timothee’s friends: you did not mention anyone spesific, I am not sure what friends you want me to read about. I think you need to give me names.

This question is actually about Armie, but ok, we’ll take it while we have it here witg us. Is Timothee Armie’s first crush/ love for someone of his same sex?

Six of swords: yes. Six of swords is about transistion and change. Someone willing to let go of the past and start looking toward a brighter future. I sense here that Timothee might be the reason for Armie Hammer’s divorce.

How is Timothee feeling towards Kylie now?

Death reversed: When Death is reversed, it means that this person feels a strong resistance to change. This person feels stagnant, even stuck. They are motivated more by fear than by love. Death reversed is a sign of feeling entrenched in negative emotional patterns.

They are here, and they intend to stay put–not out of true commitment, but because they feel obligated and they are scared. Mmmm interesting. I wonder what he is scared of. A threat maybe? Of some kind?

The Hermit: it often means that they are currently too wrapped up in their own journey to worry about feelings, which would make sense since he is very busy with work at the moment. He needs time and space. He is also not really interested.

It's like taking a break to figure out who we are, what we believe in, and what we want in life. This card tells us that sometimes we need to spend time alone to understand ourselves better. It's like going on a retreat to find peace and answers within us. He wants peace and quiet. He needs it.

Unexpected outcome: Things didn’t go the way I planned.

Will they try to be together for real?

Ace of swords: The card indicates that you might finally get a breakthrough and discover the truth about your situation.

Sabotage: the relationship is viewed upon as real. As they did at some point get together. But it is sabotaged with lots of lies and fake stories. The outcome is far from what it is.

Indecisive: Someone wants this and someone doesn’t but is forced. And it takes two.

Will he end up with Armie?

Ace of wands reversed: This card suggests that you may be facing challenges or difficulties in your relationship. It’s possible that you or your partner are feeling blocked or unable to move forward. It could be a sign that you need to reevaluate the relationship and consider whether it’s still serving both of your needs. This card is a reminder that relationships require effort and commitment to sustain the passion and excitement that brought you together in the first place. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and work together to overcome any obstacles that may be causing issues.At the moment, this is not happening. There’s no contact.

Will he end up with some other woman or man?

Ten of pentacles reversed: will be a person going through a divorce, or their family life might be very messy. This is a person who represents someone who exaggerates their financial status. Don’t trust the way this person portrays themselves physically, especially on their social media. Ten of Pentacles reversed people like to flaunt their wealth. They also insist on wearing and consuming the best of the best of everything – clothes, food, services. They can be socially insensitive. For example, they may shame people for purchasing what they can afford as opposed to less affordable, “ethical” alternatives. Most of the things they consume are for show. (Now I am intrigued as this suddenly sounded like Kylie. Let me pull another card for clarification.)

The sun: this person is magnetic and exhibits natural leadership skills. This person is charismatic, people are just naturally drawn to them. They are natural attention grabbers, they don’t have to try too hard. Cliché as this may sound, literally do “light up” any room they walk into. They’re usually very active physically, always on the move or working out. They usually have star power, or that inexplicable aura of somebody that you know is meant to do great things in life and potentially even become famous. They might charm you with their confident body language, boisterous sense of humor, or just their aura of authority. represents someone who is generous with their light and knowledge. Not only do they naturally become the center of attention, they like to share their spotlight. Just like the Sun at the center of our solar system, this person likes shining their light on others. They are generous with their compliments. If they have clout they will love using their platform to celebrate others in their industry, their peers, or just shine a light on a cause that is important to them. And just like the Sun helps plants grow, this person uses their masculine energy to mentor and help develop people they see potential in and let them shine. (Okay this is not Kylie.)

This could be an athlete who later becomes a coach or trainer, or maybe just someone who needs to workout for reasons to stay fit.. This could be a model or an actor/actress, who later in their career becomes an agent or a photographer. People value their experience and opinions. This person may literally work with light, for example as a photographer, cinematographer, physicist, lighting technician at the theater.

(And then I see the next ask is expired. Very sorry for being late on that one)

One of the above anon is an ask for whoever posted something about a blind item. So if anyone has what anon is requesting, maybe kindly share with us?

How’s Timothee and Stephan Bek’s friendship? Does Stephan feel jealous?

Five of pentacles reversed: Stephane sees Timothee as a source of triumph. He sees Timothee as hope and opportunity. Many struggles have brought them on a difficult journey to a now relaxing period. He sees Timothee as someone that awaited them at the end of the road.

No doubt Timothee has made his fair amount of mistakes in the friendship, but Stepahne sees him putting in the effort to be better. This draws them extremely close together and makes stephane desire Timothee as a friend much as they did ever.

Strength: this is the energy of friends and family members that is unbreakable. This is a strong connection which is likely to endure if both people want that to happen.

Will Timothee end up with a man or a woman? All of his kings and knights are upright, while all his queens and most pages are reversed. So he definetely prefers older males. But then again, he is still quite young and will probably have more than just one relationship in the future. He is going to be in several. Who he will end up with is still far ahead. But I attempted on a descrption further up. Let’s pull one more card to clarify yet again. How does this person look like approximately?

High priestess reversed: how convinient Timothee. Of course we had to pull the most secretive card of them all. Secret, hidden, mystery….. maybe we will never truly find out.

The High Priestess is associated with the Moon and therefore is strongly linked to all water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces), but Cancer is the most common association.

I see as someone with a round face, moon shape. Medium small size, pale, big forehead, big cheek and big breast. (So it’s a woman!!) she tends to gain weight because she likes to eat, doesn't mean she is fat but is something she needs to control. Beautiful, ice blonde, blue eyes.

Was he involved in a threesome?

Oh dear. What kind of question is this? It is like asking me if someone had sex missionary style or doggy style. Why do we even need to know? Hehe.

Ace of cups: cards say yes.

Will he bring Kylie and the kids to his wonka premiere? Or Dune?

Seven of wands: There is a great conflict approaching, but do not fear. Through courage, you will overcome this hurdle and experience a major change in your life as a result. The question here might not be if Timothee will take Kylie for his premieres, but will Kylie bring Kylie to Timothee’s premieres!

Timothee’s future career:

Four of cups reversed: sudden awareness, Retreat, withdrawal. a new chapter is about to unfold. He may have felt disinterested or disconnected in his current position in the past, but now he is willing to reflect on what changes he can make to improve his situation.

Hanged man: delays, standstill, lack of control. The Hanged Man reminds us that sometimes we have to put everything on hold before we can move forward, If The Hanged Man appears in a Tarot reading, your projects and activities may come to an abrupt and unexpected halt. Don't keep moving forward in the hope that more power will propel you in the desired direction. Accept the opportunity to pause and use it to reassess where you are in your journey. You won't be able to see what's forming unless you give it the time and space it requires.

Seven of cups: wishful thinking, searching for purpose, feeling indecisive about which path to take. The Seven of Cups means he should take a step back and reflect on his goals and values, so that he can align them with his career choices. Take the time to research and explore his options, but be aware of the pitfalls of wishful thinking and illusions.

Page of cups: creative opportunities, news, messages, new love. This card suggests that he should focus on building positive relationships and connections in his work environment, as this can lead to greater success and fulfillment in his career.

Four of wands reversed: conflict with others, lack of support, home conflict, breakdown. He’s been trying to build relationships with his co-workers but to no avail. This can negatively affect his passion and creativity in work. Find ways to infuse excitement and a friendly atmosphere to get back on track.

Will his career suffer after SNL?

Death: Transformation, endings, change, transition, letting go, release. Of all the Tarot cards, Death is presumably the one that people dread and misunderstand the most. Most individuals panic when you even mention the name of the card because they are afraid it will pass out and expire as soon as it appears. Relax! One of the most advantageous cards in the deck is the Death card. The Death card represents the end of a significant phase or element of your existence that you recognise is no longer functioning after pausing and reflecting with The Hanged Man, allowing room for something far more precious and important. To open another door, the first one must be shut. You must leave the past behind and separate ways prepared to seize fresh chances and opportunities.

So in a way, there has been a metaphoric death for his career, as he summonded a lot of hate and anger. So yes, he did suffer from that, combined with a lot of other things lately.

Is Timothee a fatphobic?

The chariot reversed: you feel powerless and are lacking direction. You need to take control of your own destiny and not let outside forces determine your path. Lacking in confidence. This may be leading to anger, frustration and uncontrolled aggression. You are aware that you have the ability to effect change, but you have yet to choose to do so. You may be holding back for what appear to be good reasons, but nothing is being forced on you; you have other options. Instead of blaming circumstances, take responsibility for your own inner resistance.

The chariot reversed indicates no. No he is not a fatphobic, but yes he did occasionally bully others when he was younger, because he did not know better. And because he was desperate to direct focus away from his own inscurities. He is not a fatphobic, in fact he wishes he was able to gain weight like a normal person.

The world reversed: The World reversed implies that he wants to put these sort of matters to rest. He may desire to move on but are still emotionally linked to these narrratives. People refuse to forget.

Has he renewed his contract with Kylie?

6 of pentacles: The Six of Pentacles is a tricky card for we also must ponder the man’s reasons for giving. The Six of Pentacles is a Stage Card so we must be aware that all may not be what we think it is or how it appears on the outside. This can work on both a positive and negative level.

At the moment it doesn’t seem like any contract will be renewed. I won’t be surprised that breakup articles will appear around New Year.

How does Armie feel about this relationship?

Damage: we’re both hurting from this

Missed opportunity: I didn’t act when I should have

Are Timothee and Armie done?

Spiritually, they are twin flames, so they will never be done. But we can have a look at the earthly aspect.

5 of pentacles: This card can carry a meaning of dejection, disappointment and sorrow over past events. lose all faith, losing resources, losing a lover. Your circumstances appear to have taken a turn for the worse. There is a possibility that you have lost substantially or taken a hard hit. You may feel that you are struggling in the dark and panicked about your situation. You may have chosen alienation in favour of a relationship which others find questionable or improper. This relationship may result in you having to give up everything you have and everyone you know.

Strength: suggests passionate and intense relationships. It may indicate strong emotions, including jealousy and resentment. If you ever find yourself in a heated argument or other situation, it may be best to treat each other with kindness and patience instead of allowing your rage to take over.

It also indicates You have an unshakeable bond that can’t easily be broken. If you are currently in separation with each other, Strength as love outcome means your person still has a deep respect for you. No matter your circumstances or how things ended between the two of you, they respect you. They acknowledge what a positive impact you had on them. they own their role in the break up. They know they played a part and it wasn’t all your fault. If you’re interested in reconciling with them, you will have to make the first move. they aren’t likely going to take any drastic moves to be closer to you. So it depends, is Armie willing to take the first move?

King of cups: The King of Cups is one of the best cards you can obtain if symbolising a partner. Cups- reference to the sea or water.

So as a short summary:

Yes, Timothee’s career did take a toll after the controversies of his connection to Kylie Jenner. The disgust of this relationship transfered into people sideyeing him and judging him in everything he now does. And the SNL skit was no exception. He recieved his fair amount of criticism for that. Will his career suffer? Not in the sense of losing work or opportunities. He will still be offered a decent amount of acting and producing work, fashion promotions, hosting events and so on. But in the sense of respect and admiration, he might have permanently lost many points.

His relationship with Kylie is still a showmance. It is turning more into a one woman show, as he is more of a no show for most of the time. The majority of stories and narratives circulating online and in fan circles are just fabricated nonsense. I believe the contract is up and done, and that for a good while now. If not, he is definetely already with one foot out the door. Unless something unexpected changes drastically, I sense breakup articles in the near future. Only thing I am a bit concerned about is the mention of him and fear. And my mind started remembering bruises on his face and injuries on his finger. And also the fact that he has been looking extremely fatigued at times. Take this with a frain of salt though. It was just a flash of images that came to me while reasonating my cards with you.

As I mentioned, I doubt he has plans to bring Kylie to any premieres. But Kylie might decide to meet up anyways, like she has done a couple of times before. Whether she does or not, for sure we will have comments from someone saying they saw her, but she was staying lowkey.

Timothee will have many relationships in his future. He is still very young. He is unlikely to end up with anyone steady in the near future. But when he does, it will be with someone likable and unexpected.

For those who care to know about the connection he has with Armie Hammer. No, they are not done. I sense we will see them together at one point in the future. When we least expect it. Not neccessarily as a couple, but maybe they will work together again. They will be spotted together. Preferably in another country.

Spiritually, their connection will always be there, and they will always feel that in their souls. The endless running and chasing cycle.

Timothee needs to heal his connection to his sister. This just suddenly came to me. They have had a fall out. A disagreement. She is not happy with him at the moment. She is very angry with her little brother.

He also thinks Florence Pugh looks gorgeous. She is a great friend.

That’s it for now I guess. I hope you enjoyed this reading🙏🏻🙏🏻 God bless you all. I look forward to see how things work out for Timothee.

#celebrity tarot #intuitive readings #tarot reading #timothee chalamet #tarot reading for celebrities #celebrity tarot reading #oracle cards

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years

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Hi handsome. Is there anyway I can ask for some advice? As a fellow bkdk shipper and bakugou lover. So I am trying to write a bakugou x reader, with a bakugou who’s all-knowing reluctant closes friend is Izuku. For storyline purposes (as my all knowing kind eyed friend for reader) and just for the length of time.

This almost seems like a silly ask. But how would you recommend, for me to build the relationship between reader and bakugou… to feel genuine and worthwhile and just as intense as a long time friend Izuku could be? Basically, I’m asking for advice on how to make an audience ship Bakugou with reader as opposed to his best friend who has a somewhat intense relationship with him already built into canon.

i dont find this ask silly at all! i think as an avid x reader and shipfic writer - this is actually a relatively understandable concern. you have to convince your audience that your y/n is also able to metaphorically compete for bkgs heart that canonly has other paths paved

in the situation for bakugou specifically, i think your y/n has to exhibit 2 things. mental strength and any sort of identifiable thing they care about. for bakugou as a character, there is nothing more important to him than respect. your reader, in some way, has to be able to earn his genuine respect. this is NOT limited to physical strength. the nature of bakugous development is that he deeply recognizes strength in all walks of life.

make your reader formidable. maybe they stand up for justice. maybe they’re especially good at handling conflicting and mediating. maybe they’re competent at their job. maybe they’re very good at something trivial like making tea but they dont let bakugou talk down on their hobby. you have a lot of options but i think representing that bakugou values reader insight and respects their viewpoint will lend itself to them being compelling.

additionally, when i say mental strength, i think reader needs to be able to reconcile with bakugou easily. this is one of those bkdk things they dont have which is an ability to communicate clearly lol. this doesn’t mean reader has to have an easy going or even patient temperament - but that reader can say sorry and have just a sliver more of emotional intelligence than bakugou because while i think hes grown a lot, romantic feelings probably turn him into a complete baby.

a reader who is willing to hash things out even at the sake of fighting is very important contrast. while i am a bkdk enthusiast, i think them having a romantic relationship canonly would take a shit ton of effort and therapy. they are deeply intricate but thats a double edged sword. you can play off those gaps.

the most important thing is that you understand bakugou is a character with a natural intensity and presence. this makes him very versatile in the sense he doesn’t discriminate other people at all based on shallow shit. if you want to write a compelling love story with him - any partner can work as long as you keep who he is in mind. anyone who can stand as his equal can be a compelling love interest.

#return to sender #writing advice #i have a lot to say about this still but i wont hold u lol #i think that every character has elements of them that you can play off #for bakugou its about establishing equality #this would be a different answer for someone else #but bakugou is actually very flex in romantic love more than other characters

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outercosmic · 5 months

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hi outercosmic! I want an advice!! I was 9 months with my bf, he started doing little things in revenge that hurt me, and insulted me multiple times the last 2 months. The past 10-15 days he ended things with me because we fought when I saw things he did on purpose to hurt me, we tried to work it out but even when he texted me saying he loves me and he’s sorry that he made me feel unsafe, 3 paragraphs long explaining how he doesn’t wanna be with me if little stuff hurts me (cause I’m jealous) I responded saying let’s forget all about it and be together. And just there and then he did something on revenge again so I got mad and told him we’re over and that I know. He said he’s at work and talked to me very poorly, so I blocked him everywhere. I was mad for the insults and the poor behavior I accepted, I tried to stay friends with him and he got mad at the possibility of us losing contact if I find someone new. I couldn’t help the way I was feeling so I texted again yesterday, he holds a grudge against me and is very distant, sad and mad, he said he changed and that he’s no longer here for me and that he needs to find himself and be alone. He said that everything he did was because he couldn’t take anymore my jealousy or my anger issues,something I took very seriously. He admitted that he loves me and still feels the same but we can’t be together if there are problems like that. I can see he’s had enough and almost hated me and his life, he’s alone far away for work for some sort period and returns in one month. I know his work is tough and he missed how we all hang out here, I understand that maybe everything seems bigger to his head, he told me he wants me to be fine and that if I ever need something I can tell him. I really wanna suggest to fly to him and just be there for him, but he has blocked me on TikTok and it feels like he doesn’t want me to check up on him. We share a big love he’s been the best and most loyal person in my life, I can’t handle it and don’t know how. I don’t wanna think about myself, should I just let it be and let him talk to me if he feels like it sometime or should I try and show him that I’m here if he changes his mind? I wanna respect his feelings and don’t wanna bother him or take advantage of the fact that he didn’t screw me, idk what to do. I feel like I pushed the person that loved me the most away. Forever. Can it change?

Hi there! Thank you for trusting my point of view. It’s very important having and keeping people in your life that means a lot to you. It’s worthy of fighting about it. But please always remember that fighting for yourself is as worthy as fighting for others. There is always a chance for fixing situations like the one you described me, if both parties are willing to work together, discuss, and get on the same page. If this doesn’t happen, or doesn’t apply, or one of the parties is too hurt to try, then the best solution is for each person to take time to heal, find themselves, and maybe meet other people. They say sometimes a circle needs to close the moment it taught you a life lesson, so the next one can start.

I hope the solution that arises will be the most beneficial for both of you!

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introspectral · 1 year

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Mantis stared at the moth’s little face as she listened to Vision’s words, paying close attention to them. When he said he didn’t know he needed something until he had it… that hit Mantis like a rocket. Growing up without things she now cherished such as kindness, music, humor, and an overall feeling of freedom, she completely understood what Vision meant. She, too, didn’t know how much she needed beautiful things until she met and joined the Guardians, finally living her life away from Ego’s threat, finding a home among the stars. A true purpose. The galaxy had so much beauty to offer, and Mantis wanted to love it and protect it with everything she had… And now she was going to cry. She wiped the outer corner of her eyes and chuckled. “I would say it’s a combination of both. In my case, I decided who I wanted to be first, and then the process of self-discovery followed. And that process never ends! It’s exciting,” she said with her usual endless optimism. “Now you discovered you like moths because they’re gentle, and soft, and adorable. I think it’s a good sign that such a tiny being is willing to trust you.”

Approaching the broken mirror slowly and carefully, Mantis’ antennae became droopy until they framed her face. She lost half of her height without them. “Should I… get you a new one? I could get you a Walkman, too. I think listening to music could heal your soul a bit. It might also help you connect with humans again.” She wasn’t sure if Vision wanted to hear anything humans had to say at the moment. “I know you resent them, and rightfully so, but… their music is enough to understand they’re not so bad. Not all of them. Or at least I see it that way. You probably have fond memories with them, do you not?” Whether Vision considered himself the same person he saw in those memories or not, Mantis did not know. And she didn’t have to. She could be there for him as a friend, but his concerns were his. Despite the natural tendency to invade something as private as the mind itself her powers possessed, Mantis could not live someone else’s life for them. Part of her power was recognizing that she was part of a universe and accepting it for what it was, rather than trying to improve it or perfect it according to what she deemed ‘better’ like her father had been trying to do.

And part of it was also petting the moth once again. She couldn’t help it.

(Alright, since this site is no longer allowing asks from people who don’t have a blog such as myself, I remembered I could submit things, and since that includes pics, have a tiny moth! I hope it’s okay with you, if not please let me know, and I’m partially happy it removed the ask function for non-users because with submissions I can elaborate more. There is so much going on inside Mantis’ mind all the time. No way this hellsite is gonna pressure me to join it and/or letting that stop me from writing with people. Nuh-uh 💚 Also yes, my pen name is Minty Breath, I know I KNOW. Hope you don’t mind longer paragraphs about my bug daughter!)

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{ Oh gosh, did they really do that? I didn’t even notice. That’s… kinda crumby. But YASSSSS, I’m excited for longer, more detailed Mantis! XD I don’t mind at all, write as much as you feel inspired to! Also, that moth is adorable. ALSO also, Minty Breath is the best pen name ever. “Silence Leaflin” is mine, and it was the name of the first D&D character I ever had back over 20 years ago. Wow, I’m old, heh. She was a half-human, half-vampire sorcerer, heh. But I digress. I respect your tenacity to keep writing and rping while simultaneously not giving an inch to this hellsite. Rock on. XD }

Both? Vision looked to Mantis with some quizzical amount of pause. He hadn’t considered that he could decide who he was and simultaneously discover himself. Then again... why couldn’t he? There were no rules for self-discovery and sorting out the details of one’s identity, were there? Why was he searching for boundaries and rules where there ought to be none?

Vision hadn’t realized until that moment that he’d been assuming there were rules to such a process, that he didn’t know them, and that, without knowing them, he could not proceed. In his previous incarnation, he could synthesize information and create something new from it, his own identity included. It was not as though he had lost that ability, but in his current incarnation he was realizing that his default state of being was to process information, not transform it. It was to think analytically and logically instead of creatively and existentially.

“Yes, I can decide for myself and then gradually manifest my decision over time, can’t I? Perhaps I cannot finalize my true identity until I attempt to implement who I wish to be first. That... vision... of who I might be, who I wish to be, is likely to be incomplete and idealistic. Given time and the various forces of life and reality acting upon it, the incomplete should become... complete. The idealistic... realistic.” He blinked. “Yes. Thank you, Mantis. You have assisted me in arriving at a state of renewed clarity.”

As he spoke, he held out his arm for the moth, who was now slowly walking from his shoulder along the length of his arm, idly exploring the odd terrain that was Vision’s surface layer. When Mantis reached for it, it stopped, its little head tilting slightly to see if what was approaching was friend or foe, and ultimately deciding that gentle pets were acceptable. Vision watched Mantis pet the moth, and his smile returned. Before Mantis had introduced him to the tiny creature, Vision had not stopped to smell the roses, as it were, in a long time. It forced him to take life in for a moment, to slow down, and to let go of his problems in favor of enjoying something innocent for a moment.

He’d also come to despise the color white, seeing the color of his own body as a blank canvas, but of the worst kind. Not a brand new blank canvas any artist would be excited to get started covering with things of beauty and interest, but rather, a canvas that used to already be a work of art... that someone tossed paint thinner onto. All the color had been stripped from him in a violent and cruel manner like the chemicals in paint thinner grotesquely melting and dissolving the flowers, faces, mountains, and skies of a magnificent painting. And thus, Vision’s magnificence, his art, and his story had also been stripped away, or so he’d felt. But... this moth... was beautiful. White... could be beautiful, he was learning. So would Vision again. Someday.

#white vision rp #accessed vision verse

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pennylaneforthoughts · 3 years

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Okay but episode 4 from Mobius' perspective is literally the saddest thing if you let yourself think about it for too long.

Imagine you're Mobius and you have a huge massive crush on Loki, and by the end of episode 2 you feel like you've bonded so well, and you know, maybe there's a chance he likes you back. But then he betrays you, runs through that time door after Sylvie and everyone is telling you he's just yeeted out Like Always but you're like "No there's gotta be another explanation. We were friends. Really friends. We had something."

And then you find out that not only did he yeet after Sylvie, as you're dragging them through the halls, all they look at is each other, and it's not until Sylvie's down another corridor that Loki even pays you any mind or says anything to you. And you're just absolutely seething because of course everyone else was right. How could you be so stupid to think Loki could ever like you back? Hes a literal god. You're just some random guy, a bureaucrat. Of course he would rather be with some crazy, stab-happy version of HIMSELF than you.

And you feel so jealous, so angry, so unwanted you can barely think straight. But you still have to do your job even though you feel like this, so you lie and sneer and poke and prod because you're angry and hurting and a part of you wants Loki to hurt too. And then as you're interrogating him, you see him get all teary eyed over Sylvie, and you think, "How horribly painful and awful is this?" He'd cry over this girl after knowing her for less than a day, but he'd leave you without a care in the world. Not a goodbye or any sort of explanation. Would he even care if someone had told him you were pruned? Unlikely.

And you're so upset that even when Loki's yelling at you, desperately trying to make you see he's telling you the truth, it doesn't relieve you to see so clearly in his eyes that he's not lying, because those are the same eyes that you just saw worried over and crushing on Sylvie. So you slam your face directly into denial because how dare he? How dare he be honest now? And so you run away before you let yourself get sucked back in by those eyes, but it's too late, the damage is done. And even though you're angry and bitter and kind of wish Loki would just disappear, you can't deny he was being honest for very long. So you go and stick your neck out and investigate anyway, because you're nothing if not a lovesick fool, and even being angry at him isn't going to change that, no matter how much you try.

And if you're being honest with yourself, something really has been off about this whole thing, and Loki's rare honesty was the proverbial straw that broke your camel's back in this whole mess. After all, you've never been good at denying him when he looks at you like that. You were bad at it when he wanted to go to an apocalypse with you, and you're bad at it now. So you steal Ravonna's tempad and look for yourself. And where else could you go except to the archives where you and Loki had spent so much time together hidden away? It's only appropriate. And what you find just makes your heart sink.

Not only was Loki telling the truth, it's so much worse than either of you realized. Ravonna had killed C-20. And she had lied to you. And what beautiful, horrible irony that the person who was supposed to do nothing but lie was the one being honest, and your friend for nobody even knows how long is the one lying to you. Your whole world starts crashing down around you, and it's too much. You were already emotionally wrecked by everything going on with Loki. You didn't need this too. And oh God, the implications of it.

This means that everything you've done and said your whole known life has been wrong. And more importantly, it means you've hurt and killed for nothing. And that guilt just eats at your soul as you remember what you've said even just to Loki.

"You were born to bring pain and suffering and death. All so that others can be the best versions of themselves."

What have you done? How much damage have you caused? And it's this thought that spurs you forward. Because screw ideology. Screw glorious purpose. What even are those in the face of a person in pain, much less the person you've found yourself caring about more than anything else?

So you run. Almost on instinct. You run to Loki knowing exactly what memory you've looped him through out of bitterness and jealousy and spite, and you're praying you haven't caused irreparable damage.

"You deserve to be alone, and you always will be."

No, no, no, of course he doesn't. He has you. He'll always have you if you have any say in the matter. He has...

Sylvie.

You remember her. Them. The nexus event. And you have a theory. A theory you hate so much it makes you want to crawl out of your own skin and die, but it makes too much sense, and unfortunately, it could work. So as you step into the time prison, you ask.

"Do you really believe you deserve to be alone?"

And he says he doesn't know, but you can see he just doesn't want to admit that yes, he does. And it breaks your heart because you know that you've had a part in that. So you apologize in the only way you think Loki could begin to accept.

"You can be whoever, whatever you want to be. Even someone good."

And part of you is saying that to yourself too, because heaven knows you need to hear it just as much. And Loki's words are still ringing in your ears.

Friend.

How bittersweet. But you're an adult. You know you can't demand Loki's affection as much as you selfishly want to. If he wants to be with Sylvie, you'll force yourself to find some way to cope with that. It's fine. It only makes sense. You'd rather have Loki in your life as a friend than nothing at all. And you're happy to be reconciled at least a little.

But then you step out into the Time Theatre and everything stops. Ravonna is standing there and she's obviously pissed. She knows. You deflect, you lie, try to be as Loki as you can to get out of this. You're surrounded by Minutemen and pruning sticks but all you can think is you can't let Loki get hurt. Not now. He's the key to taking down the TVA. And it's clear Ravonna is having none of it. But you know her. You were friends. Good friends. And you know she's more angry at you than Loki at the moment. So you realize what you have to do to keep it that way. To protect him.

So you press the button you know will hurt her the most. You answer her question from just a short while ago. You bring all the focus onto you, knowing what it'll likely mean. Knowing it'll hurt her and make her lash out. You're not stupid. You're good at reading people. That's why you're an analyst. And if it means protecting Loki, you know you'd have been willing to die much longer ago than is probably reasonable.

You don't even try to avoid the pruning stick. And honestly? It's not even the most painful thing you've experienced today.

And besides. It's better this way. Now Loki can be with Sylvie, be happy, and you don't have to feel a dagger through your heart every time they look at each other. And it's not like Loki will really miss you.

It's better this way.

#lokius #i've made myself sad #loki 2021 #mobius #loki x mobius #why is this like the angstiest ship ever #Mobius really is just the saddest gay out there

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hpimaginesandblurbs · 3 years

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Hey could you do a tom riddle smut where they have a friends with benefits agreement and it’s kinda rough with dirty talk and the reader sees Tom flirting with someone else and gets jealous and confesses the next time they have sex that she has feelings for him?

pairing: young!tom riddle x reader

warning(s): 18+, smut, slightly rough sex, dirty talk, feelings

word count: 1.7k

a/n: sorry this took super long, took a break over the weekend but we’re back! also i’ve never written for tom riddle before nor have i really thought about him in the sense but this made me feel things!! so thank you anon who requested for my new obsession haha. i’ll be posting more throughout the week and requests are still open.

Your night had definitely not gone as planned.

You had thought you’d go to this little party, all of the Slytherin upperclassmen in attendance, and end the night in Tom’s bed. But no. Of course that’s not how your night would be going.

What you were currently watching, with your wine glass dutifully in hand, was none other than Tom Riddle himself cozying up to Margot, who was a year younger than you.

You and Tom were only friends with benefits, something that was agreed upon a long time ago, but you couldn’t help the fire that burned inside of you when looking at him with another girl. Labels be damned, that boy was yours.

You waited patiently throughout the rest of the night, chatting with people here and there, until the room slowly began to clear. You watched as Margot finally retreated down the hallway to her room, leaving Tom all alone on the couch.

He caught your eye from across the room and simply tilted his head in the direction of his own room with a cocky grin plastered on his face. When he departed the room himself, you had no choice but to follow.

It was silent for a moment when you entered, but he quickly broke it. “Did you have a nice night?” He asked cordially, his back turned to you as he removed his tie.

“Not as nice of a time as you did with Margot, it seems,” you bit back. You knew it was childish, but you couldn’t help yourself.

When he turned to face you, he had an eyebrow cocked when he sauntered over to where you were perched on his bed. “Is someone... jealous?” He asked, looming over you.

“No, just pointing out what I saw,” you countered easily.

“You really don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” He asked, chuckling under his breath.

“You’ve said it yourself, Tom. We’re just friends. What do I have to be jealous about?” You replied icily, your eyes not wavering from his.

The way he was staring down at you sent your insides ablaze. The look in his eyes screamed menacing, possessive, and dark. It was everything you were craving from him in the moment.

“I saw the looks all night Y/N. You couldn’t take your eyes off of us. You wanted to be the one with my undivided attention. You wanted to be the one pressed against my side. Just admit it,” he spoke lowly, his hand coming up to cup the side of your cheek sweetly. Although he was speaking softly and touching you tenderly, you could see it in his eyes - he wanted to devour you. And you were happily going to let him.

You didn’t even reply, you just lunged at him, pulling his lips to yours. He matched your pace readily at first, but the next thing you knew he was pulling away and just ripping your clothes off at a speed you had never seen him move.

“Friends don’t bother with kissing, Y/N,” he told you roughly while finally peeling your underwear from your body, exposing you to him in your entirety. He paused for a moment, unable to help himself as he took in your body greedily, but then he pounced.

In one swift move he had his pants pulled down from his hips and his cock out of his briefs and lined up with your waiting core. You were sure he could feel the way you were throbbing for him against his tip, but you couldn’t find it in you to care at the moment. He was acting so similar, but so different to what he would normally do. He was always rough, always fast, but tonight he seemed to be letting some sort of guard down and he turned all types of wicked.

He plunged into you in one steady thrust, not even bothering to let you adjust or slip a finger or two in prior like he typically would. But he was quick to explain himself yet again. “Friends don’t bother with foreplay either. Friends only care about one thing - using your body to get off,” he practically spit out, now pumping in and out of you at a furious pace.

Although your eyes were closed, you knew he was watching you - he always did. You knew he could see the way your face kept scrunching up in pain at particularly rough thrusts, could feel the way your body was tensing beneath him, but it didn’t deter him. No. He was doing this on purpose. He was proving his point. You refused to let him win that quickly.

You moved your arms up from the bed in an attempt to grab him as you usually would, but the second your skin touched him, he had both of your wrists pinned against the mattress.

“Friends certainly don’t hold each other like lovers. Do they, Y/N?” He asked, a vicious condescending tone lacing through his voice. You whimpered at his words, your head tossing back and forth against his pillows in frustration, but you just heard him chuckle in return.

But finally, in the moment you thought you’d break, he began to slow his thrusts down to a delicious roll that made your insides flutter while he used one hand to grab your chin and turn your face towards his.

“You see, Y/N, I don’t think you like being just friends. Am I correct?” He asked. When you could only give a small nod back, he pressed forward. “Use your words. I know you have them.”

“You’re right,” you replied, voice small as you tried to form a coherent thought while he was that far inside of you.

“So what is it that you want, Y/N? Because by all means we can still be friends and finish this my way. But if you want something otherwise, let me know. Don’t be shy, we are friends after all,” he said, much more softly and playful than before. But you could tell he was treading along some weird edge, where he would bend to whatever you responded with in an instant. It was like playing with fire, but it spurred you on.

“Want you to myself,” you admitted, feeling your cheeks flush red at your own words. When you chanced a look up at him, he had an eyebrow raised with a cocky smirk plastered on his face. There was a mixture of surprise and relief in his eyes and it was then you realized he had stopped moving inside of you entirely.

“And how long have you felt like this?” He asked quietly, pulling out of you slowly but keeping his body above yours. Even he wasn’t willing to break the energy in the room that your words had created.

“I, um, I think I realized a few weeks ago,” you said, trying to gain some confidence the longer this conversation went on. It was never something you had envisioned yourself ever telling him, but in typical Tom fashion he had trapped you into it regardless.

“Hm, how funny. I’ve been feeling quite the same way about you,” he said, sending a shock through your system.

“Really?” You asked more loudly than you had intended, still not quite believing him.

“Y/N, any man would be a fool to have you and then let you go. I don’t intend on being a fool,” he explained.

“Then don’t be a fool. I’m as good as yours,” you said, feeling more confident after his own admittance. You looked at him just as his eyes shot to yours, and the smile you saw dance along his face was one of the most beautiful sights you had ever seen.

“Mine,” he all but muttered to himself, but the moment got swept away and heightened when he sheathed himself back inside of you, going at a pace he knew drove you absolutely wild with pleasure.

You moaned out for the first time that night while he ravished your body. His hands and lips seemed to be everywhere all at once in a flurry of passion and your arms slowly crept up to dig your nails into his back.

You got lost in your own feelings, letting the pleasure consume you entirely. You didn’t know how long it went on for, how many cries of his name left your lips, how many times he paused to just look at you, but you were snapped back to reality when spit slick fingers began attacking your clit.

You cried out, arching your back and trying to buck up into his hands in one movement. You didn’t even realize how close you were until his fingers were on you. But it was his words that swallowed you whole and tossed you over the edge.

“Cum for me, Y/N. Cum for me knowing you’re mine and I’m yours,” he said roughly in your ear, his own release quickly approaching him as well.

Once the words ‘I’m yours’ left his mouth, you were screaming his name and clinging to him as if your life depended on it while your orgasm burst through your body. He quickly followed after you, your own name moaned wantonly where his face was tucking against your neck while he fought to work you both through it. It was the best type of bliss you could ever imagine.

Slowly, he pulled out of you one final time and laid down beside you, pulling you into the heat of his body the instant his head hit the pillow. You both laid like that for a few minutes, listening to each others breathing slowly even out as he held you. Finally, you decided to break that silence.

“So what now, exactly?” You asked curiously, wondering exactly where you both stood now.

“Darling, it’s late. Let’s go to sleep, hm? And I promise we’ll talk about it all in the morning,” he replied, leaving a quick kiss on the tip of your nose.

You giggled lightly, it was probably the softest thing you had ever seen the man do, but you were quite content to fall asleep in his arms and see what tomorrow would bring - so that’s exactly what you did.

#harry potter #tom riddle #young tom riddle #tom riddle smut #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle headcanon #harry potter smut

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asweetprologue · 3 years

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me lámh le do lámh - Part I

Ahh I can’t believe it’s finally done! After a year of working on this beast, it’s finally ready for me to share. This is something I started way back last summer, and I decided to finish it as my project for this year’s @geraskierbigbang. It will be ten parts in total, and I will post one part per day until it is complete! There are several art pieces that were created by the wonderful @herostag and Miranda.draws for this story, which I will link when the appropriate section is posted. For a summary and further links, please see the masterpost.

Next | Ao3 | Masterpost

“Alright,” Geralt said. “Don’t laugh at me.”

Yennefer looked up at him with bright eyes, curious and already mirthful. She was sitting across from him in his quarters, reading through a tome she’d found in Kaer Morhen’s disheveled library. Geralt had just come from a bath after hours spent training Ciri in the yard, and the room was filled with the warm evening light, supplemented by the fire crackling in the hearth. Yennefer had insisted on carting dozens of tapestries and drapes to hang around the drafty keep, and the room was nearly stuffy with their bulk keeping the heat in.

Yennefer gave him an amused smirk. “I will make no such promises before I even know what you’re going to say.” The gentle teasing brought a fond smile to Geralt’s face. After the events of the mountain all those years ago, things had been understandably tense. Yennefer had been reluctant to join them when she had finally met up with Geralt after Sodden, but had eventually agreed to seek refuge in the witchers’ keep and teach Ciri to control her magic. Once she’d met the girl it had all been a wash; it was clear as soon as their eyes met across the room that Yennefer was as much a part of Ciri’s destiny as Geralt was.

Geralt had expected that to either mend the rift between them enough for things to go back to the way things were, or make things even more awkward. Instead, they found themselves in a sort of in-between. Over the years his affection for Yennefer had only grown, but he found himself looking to her more and more as a friend—maybe his best friend. After Jaskier, of course.

Speaking of. “I was thinking about Jaskier.”

Yennefer rolled her eyes obviously. “As you are so frequently wont to do. The thaw will come soon enough, dear, and you can run off in search of your bard.”

Geralt felt his ears grow warm. Witchers couldn’t blush, not truly, but he still felt the tingle of it as he fidgeted with embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant,” he said, absently tracing a finger against the grain of the wooden table. There were two goblets of wine sitting between them, but so far neither of them had begun to drink. “Do you know how many winters it’s been since I found Ciri?”

If she was confused by the odd turn in subject matter, Yennefer didn’t show it. Instead she looked thoughtful. “Two, perhaps three? You know I don’t follow the seasons with diligence.”

“Neither do I,” Geralt agreed. “I was thinking the same though, two or three years since the fall of Cintra. Which means Jaskier is…” He paused, trying to do the math. “He was a few years past forty, during the dragon hunt, I think. He must be closer to fifty now than not.”

Yennefer raised an eyebrow at him. “I recall mentioning something about his crows feet. What of it? Humans age. Are you only just discovering this?”

Geralt forced himself not to grumble. In a way, he was only discovering it. He’d known humans across the years, of course, and knew that many that he’d once been acquainted with were no longer alive or were in their twilight years. For decades Geralt had wandered through the world, changing no more than a ghost would, touching the lives of regular mortals for a brief instance, maybe a few times if they were particularly unlucky. No one had stayed by his side, dedicated themselves to a relationship with him, the way that the bard had. The amount of devotion that Jaskier showed to him had made Geralt antsy, in earlier years, and then confused and angry by turn. He had hated the idea of someone needing him, had hated needing someone in return. The way his chest felt heavy when he and Jaskier parted ways had left him furious with himself and the bard.

And then Ciri came into his life, and everything had changed so quickly.

With Ciri, it didn’t matter whether Geralt felt like he should care for her, or if he wanted to. He needed to. Without him, the girl would die, or be kidnapped by Nilfgaard for who knows what purpose. He had to feed her, and clothe her, and teach her, and he had to love her for her to thrive.

She made it very easy. It was only afterwards that he realized how much of an idiot he’d been to Jaskier, and the thought of how he’d treated the bard over the years had plagued him. It had been months before he could find him to apologize, but Jaskier forgave him almost immediately—which Geralt found both relieving and infuriating at the same time. This was the first winter they’d spent apart since. Geralt left the keep more rarely now, heading out on the Path only when the months grew truly warm and returning at the first hint of falling leaves. Ciri was safe on her own, he knew, but he missed her when he was away. And he could admit now that one of the forces driving him back into the world over the last few years had been the itching desire to find Jaskier again and settle the yearning in his chest for another year. He was less inclined to venture forth when his bard, his daughter, Yennefer and his brothers were all in one place.

This winter Jaskier had begged off, saying that he had “work in the south,” which could mean anything from spending a decadent winter in the court of some noble or sludging through the front lines as a Redanian spy. Geralt had learned not to pry too deeply into Jaskier’s business when he wasn’t around. It was often either too explicit for him to stomach or too confidential for Jaskier to share freely.

It worried him, being away from the bard for so long. He could get hurt, or captured by Nilfgaard, or worse. But what really terrified Geralt was the idea that he would find Jaskier in a tavern along the Path and realize that the bard had grown old, to find silver in his hair and wrinkles beside his eyes. “He’s getting too old,” Geralt said to Yennefer, who looked at him with sympathetic eyes.

“You must have known when you started travelling with him that he would eventually leave you,” Yennefer said, not unkindly. “Humans are so short lived.”

“I didn’t exactly get a choice about becoming his muse,” Geralt said with a huff. Despite his improved relationship with Jaskier over the past few years, he still found it difficult to admit that he had always been more than willing to let the bard tag along. If he’d wanted to travel alone, he would have. But he never had. “I just didn’t realize…”

“It always comes sooner than you think it will,” Yennefer sighed. She set her book aside and picked up her goblet of wine, turning to look out the large window their table sat in front of. It faced west out of the keep wall, towards the mountains and the forest beyond. The sun had set below the craggy peaks, throwing the snow covered valley below into darkness. Geralt could just make out the ruins of the old tower, its stones dark against the white landscape. “You can’t cure his mortality, Geralt.”

“We did.”

The look that Yennefer gave him was sharp, almost angry. The firelight in the room turned her violet eyes darker, like mulberry wine. “At great cost,” she snapped. “I can’t imagine you would put him through the Trials.”

A stab of panic shot through his gut at the thought. “No. Of course not. He wouldn’t survive it anyways. Only children stand a chance at all.”

Yennefer nodded, apparently satisfied that Geralt hadn’t completely lost his mind. “The boy hasn’t got an ounce of Chaos in him, in spite of his rather chaotic nature, so I highly doubt they’ll accept him as a late trainee at Ban Ard.”

“There must be other ways,” Geralt said, feeling petulant. “Less conventional.”

“I cannot believe we are actually discussing this,” Yennefer said, rising to her feet. She picked up her book from the table as well as her glass. “There is no way to achieve immortality, especially not without sacrifice. You know that, Geralt. Drop this foolish line of thought.”

Geralt rose after her, reaching out to catch her retreating wrist. A grasp loose enough that she could break it, if she wanted, but Yennefer paused. “Please, Yen. Just… look into it for me? I can’t—the thought of—” He cut himself off, dropping his hand away from her arm. The look she gave him was more pitying than he would have liked.

“I’ll do some research, but nothing more. Don’t get your hopes up, Geralt. There’s a reason there are so few of us,” she said. Her face softened slightly, as much as it ever did. Despite Ciri, Yennefer was still made of more glass and fire than anything else. “I know you love him, even if you can’t admit it to yourself. I promise, I will do my best.”

Geralt nodded wordlessly as she left and wondered if Jaskier's eyes would be as bright next time he saw him.

For weeks Yennefer said nothing about his request, and Geralt refocused on spending time with Ciri and preparing to depart for the spring. Lambert and Eskel had already left a month before, as soon as the road down the mountain began to thaw, but Geralt had hung back. The roof needed repairs, a difficult job to do in the midst of winter, and it was a hard task to leave for Vesemir alone. It was always like this, now—him looking for odd jobs to keep him at Kaer Morhen, with Ciri, making excuses until Jaskier’s jitteriness or Vesemir’s raised eyebrows forced them on the road again. Some of that was mitigated this season by the silence he heard when he found himself listening for the sounds of lute strings strumming gently in the background, and Geralt’s increasing anxiety about Jaskier’s wellbeing. Even so, it was hard to leave Ciri behind.

The girl was progressing rapidly as she entered her teen years, the chubbiness of her youth morphing into lean if awkward muscle as she continued to work on her swordsmanship. When Geralt and his brothers weren’t pushing her through drills, she was studying monsters and alchemy with Vesemir, or practicing her magic with Yen. She never seemed to tire, eagerly absorbing any lessons passed on to her and desperate to prove her worth. The only person she seemed to let her guard down around was Geralt, who found himself often goading her into mock wrestling matches (which he refused to throw on principle) and humoring her when she became restless and wanted to explore beyond the keep. Kaer Morhen was dangerous in the winter, but as spring approached and the deep snows on the surrounding mountains began to thaw, the duo spent more and more time trekking through old ruins and sleeping beneath the stars.

He could put off his journey south no longer.

“I’m going to be fine, Geralt,” she said, rolling her eyes at him. He wondered if he’d been this petulant as a teenager. Certainly Lambert had. “I can take care of myself, and Yen will be with me.”

Geralt tapped her wooden training sword with his own, indicating that she should prepare to go again. When he was a boy he’d trained against the other foundlings, stumbling around like pups through drills and sparring matches. Ciri trained against full witchers, and only Eskel ever faked a misstep here or there to allow her to get in a good hit. When she won a fight for the first time, it would be on her own merit.

The girl raised her sword into a decent fighting stance, and Geralt moved to correct her footwork. Her sword work was exceptional above the belt, but she consistently forgot her stances, throwing herself off balance. They’d begun putting her on the pendulums to force her to focus, dancing between posts to attack the dummies. Geralt had spent many a night rubbing salve into her bruised shoulders, gained from taking fall after fall from the low poles. No one forced her, but if there was one thing Ciri hated, it was admitting to weakness in herself. “Sword up,” Geralt said, and launched into his attack.

He stayed on the offense, forcing her to practice the defensive drills they’d started going over recently. “I know you’ll be fine,” he said, continuing their conversation. His breathing was relaxed, almost meditative through the slow exchange of blows. “Just seems cruel to leave you with only the old man and Yennefer for company.”

Ciri giggled despite herself, and Geralt found himself grinning back before he smacked her lightly in the ribs with the training sword. She swore—Lambert, Geralt thought with chagrin—and danced back a few paces. “Gotta focus,” he said, still smirking at her.

She poked her tongue out at him childishly and reposted off of one of his blocked attacks. He easily swayed out of the way, but the movement was fluid and smooth, which meant someday it would be fast, faster than he could dodge. He gave an encouraging nod.

They continued to spar for another half an hour or so before breaking, heading to the well to fill their water pouches. Geralt sat on the short ring of stones and Ciri slumped on the ground beside him, leaning against his leg. The simple trust and familiarity she exhibited around him still took him by surprise, sometimes. “I’m leaving tomorrow,” he said, rubbing a hand over the top of her head. Her hair was almost as white as his.

She sighed, wiping dripping water from her chin as she tossed her water pouch down. “I figured,” she said. “Say hello to Jaskier for me, when you find him? I missed his songs this time.”

Geralt’s caress turned into a playful ruffle. “I will. Any requests for books?”

“Ones about Elves,” she said immediately, “and Skelligan alchemy. It’s different from ours, did you know? The Druids—”

Geralt chuckled. “I know. You’ve said half a dozen times. No fairytales this time?”

The girl hummed, reminding him for a brief and touching moment of himself. “Just bring Jaskier back. He tells about your adventures so much better than you do.”

“He’s certainly made a career out of it,” Geralt grumbled, feigning annoyance. “I’ll do my best. You know how he is.”

“You missed him too,” she said, hitting his knee with one closed fist. “I know you did. You get all…Well, more grumbly and mopey than usual, when he’s not around.” She wrinkled her nose up at him in exaggerated disgust. “It’s gross. But I do want you to be happy.”

Geralt knocked back against her gently with his knee, swallowing around the feelings that rose in his throat. “You just think I’m a boring old man who won’t help you put toads in Eskel’s bed. But you never even ask. I’m the expert, not Jaskier.”

Ciri laughed, bright and crisp in the morning air, and Geralt felt warm despite the fading winter chill. Tomorrow he would leave, and he would find Jaskier, and next winter he would tell Jaskier that he had to stay at Kaer Morhen. For Ciri, if nothing else. And if it was more for Geralt’s sake than anything, well, no one had to know.

Yennefer found him before he left, saddling Roach in the stables.

“Go to Triss,” she said by way of a greeting. Geralt knew what she meant by the gravity in her tone and the tension sitting in the corners of her mouth. “Ask after Ida. I don’t know where she is or if she’ll speak with you, but a Sage is the only one that might be able to give you anything.”

Geralt reached out to grasp her hand firmly in his own. “Thank you, Yen,” he said honestly.

The sorceress sniffed. “Well, you owe me one, I suppose. I hope you find what you're looking for. But be careful.”

“I won’t do anything that might put him in harm’s way,” he promised. “I swear it.”

“Good.” She gave him a slight smile before leaning in to brush a kiss over his rough cheek. The simple touch warmed him from inside out. “Say hello to the bard for me. Tell him I heard about that disastrous competition in Vizima. Ought to have him stewing for a good long while.”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “I’ll give him your love as always.”

“Goodbye, Geralt,” she said, patting his arm lightly. “Be safe. You know how to reach me, if you have need.”

“I do,” he said. “I will. Take care of Ciri.”

“It’s more the other way around, I’m afraid,” she said with a soft smile, and Geralt understood exactly what she meant. Ciri had saved them both, in more ways than one. Every time he left her was more painful than the last. Someday, he knew, they might travel the Path together, a witcher, a sorceress and their daughter. Maybe even a bard, if he was extremely lucky.

Geralt hoped he would be.

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geraltxjaskier #geralt/jaskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #big bang #geraskier big bang 2021 #multichapter #fic #fanfic #the witcher #witcher #writing #my work #geraskierbigbang #me lamh

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robinofinashiro · 3 years

Text

request from anon: “Hi, can I request yandere alphabet for Kyojuro Rengoku 👉👈Thank you and have a good day Queen.”

pairing: yandere! kyojuro rengoku x fem reader

request status: OPENED

A - Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

rengoku does not give a singular fuck who sees him when it comes to giving you affection! you’re in the public? you’ll be holding his hand, kissing your cheek when he feels like it, and if it’s that bad, he’ll do a quickie in the bathroom.

B - Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

very messy! he doesn’t care. if he sees someone getting too close to you, he’ll make sure to get rid of them as soon as possible. he can’t let anyone get close to you. he’ll go to the ends of the earth to make sure that you’re by his side and that no one comes in between the two of you.

C - Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

honestly, he’ll mock the hell out of them when he feels like it’s necessary. if you’re purposely doing things to annoy him or going out of your way to piss him off, he’ll make sure to remind you that you’re never leaving him. other than that, he’ll treat you like you’re a princess! you deserve everything in the world and he’ll give it to you if he feels like you deserve it.

D - Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

despite from the sweet nature that he gives off, he will do ONE thing against your will and that’s to have kids. he needs to continue his family line and since Senjuro isn’t working to be a pillar anymore, he needs to make sure that someone continues that and it might have to be his kid.

E - Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

rengoku, when he feels like the time is right, will bare everything to his darling. come on now, you’re gonna be his wife, right? it’s only right that you know what his baggage is! he doesn’t care if you judge him or not, when it comes to this sort of thing, he kinda wears his heart on his sleeve.

F - Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

he would be kinda pissed. you’re supposed to be this perfect wife/darling and by you acting out, he doesn’t sit well with that. why can’t you be more like Sanemi’s wife? a perfect little darling that just sits there and waits for her husband like she should. punishment is a whole other ballgame that i will touch on later.

G - Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

absolutely tf not. how can this be a game to someone? rengoku is the kinda person where if he meets someone that he falls madly in love with, he’ll stick by you until one of you dies first and even then, he might commit sewerslide if you happen to be the one to go first. however, he might get a kick watching you trying to leave him bc it’s nearly impossible to leave where you’re trapped.

H - Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

rengoku’s affection, jesus christ. that shit could get mad annoying. if he’s had a particularly bad day, just brace yourself and let it happen bc he will be one affectionate mf. it could get to the point where he’ll be affection even into the next day if it’s that bad.

I - Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

literally a picture perfect life. (very much the american dream in a sense). he wants kids, hell, if you want pets of some sort, he’s down to adopt a few dogs or whatever you or your kids want. he just wants everyone to see that his family is perfect and how far he’s willing to go for them.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

oh absolutely. rengoku is the type of mf that if he sees someone flirting with his darling, he’s ending that shit QUICK. he cannot and will not let it happen. clearly it isn’t your fault so he’ll console you that you had no way of knowing what that scums intentions were and after he’s done with that, he’ll try to find the person to give them a lesson.

K - Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling

he will be very clingy like i said. he wants everyone to know that his relationship is perfect but in private, double that. he’ll make sure that you know you’re loved and that he wouldn’t trade his life with you for anything in the world.

L - Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

he would try the attempt to court you at first. rengoku is someone who is very charming so 8/10 times, it’ll work. however, if you’re being stubborn, that’s when the other side of rengoku comes out. but if you do decide to date him willingly, he’s the sweetest mf ever. he’ll bring you courting gives to every date, etc, etc.

M - Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

honestly, rengoku is seen as the black sheep in the sense that he’s always readily happy and enthusiastic. not much changes when he’s in the public. unless you happen to piss him off in public, seemingly the only time when he would change his personality.

N - Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

he doesn’t try to do it often, he hates seeing you hurt. but if you happen to actually piss him off to the point where you need to be punished, anything ranging from being alone for days to sexual punishment (that i wont be going into detail for).

O - Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

not many tbh. you have free range into his entire estate. however if he has maids working around, they know it’s best for them not to talk to you. he wont let you leave his estate to speak to anyone. you have the right to anything as long as you’re not trying to leave or get into contact with someone. he’ll even let you visit your friends or family as long as he’s there.

P - Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

eh, he’s about 50/50. he can be very patient with you or be ticked off almost immediately. more than likely tho, he’ll deal with your shit most days. the days that he doesn’t, it’s probably bc he had already probably had a bad day and you’re just making shit worse.

Q - Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

if you die, rengoku won’t move on and like i said before, he’d probably commit sleep forever. if you escape, he’ll spend the rest of his days looking for you. regardless if you escape or die, he won’t move on. you’re his and you will remain that way important person in his life.

R - Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

to a certain point, he’d feel guilty. i think the only thing eating him up is the unethical part in all of this. the fact that he’s basically abducted you and refuses to let you go. but will he ever let you go? absolutely not. you’d have to kill him before that happens.

S - Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

i see the only way this happening is bc of his life. his childhood wasn’t the greatest but it wasn’t exactly the worst so idk, i think more than anything it was out of curiosity and probably seeing others do it that make him snap.

T - Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

if rengoku isn’t at fault for making you upset, he’s HEARTBROKEN. he doesn’t like seeing you that way and he’ll find the person that did it and make them pay for it. HOWEVER, if he was the cause of it, he almost turns into a wall and brushes it off, probably murmuring that you deserved whatever it is that made you cry.

U -Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

honestly no. he wouldn’t only bc he’s very much the person that finds the classics of being a yandere as the only way to do it. anything like killing your darling or along those lines are way to extreme for him and he doesn’t like it when others step out of line.

V - Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

SENJURO RENGOKU. his little brother is also his world and i think if you catch kyojuro in a situation where you can exploit senjuro, he might give in but honestly, it probably won’t hurt and it’ll be worse for you when he finally has you alone.

W - Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

like i said before, only if it was necessary. he wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt you if you didn’t deserve it. he doesn’t like seeing you hurt and he hates seeing you cry so only if it came to you being a brat would he then actively physically punish you.

X - Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

ehhhhhh, not really. he sees this relationship as 50/50 however he did kinda worship you when he wasn’t your boyfriend/husband but he would go different lengths in order to win you over. he doesn’t really care what he has to do, he will make you his whether you like it or not.

Y - Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

tbh, it doesn’t take long before he snaps. if he sees you going out with someone and he feels like you might leave him, that’ll be a point. if he sees you being too free, that might be another point. in general, less than a year before he snaps. hell, less than half a year.

Z - Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

mentally, YES! physically, if he needed to. but not to the point where he’s killed you.

#yandere demon slayer #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer #demon slayer imagine #demon slayer x reader #Kimetsu no Yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba imagine #rengoku kyojuro x reader #kyojuro rengoku #kyojuro rengoku imagine #yandere kyojuro rengoku

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edna-skiffens · 3 years

Text

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

��They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

Lmk if you want to be on my tag list

#tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland hc #tom holland blurb #tom holland one shot #tom holland headcanon #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom Holland #tom holland x y/n #nurse!tom #nurse!tom au #nurse!tom Holland #nurse!tom x patient!reader #sick!reader #edna skiffens writes #writing #my writing

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 3 years

Text

Meeting and Dating J.D.

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous and @poruchik-logy)

(Sorry about the inactivity lately. With the holidays coming up, I’ve been a bit busy. Plus, I’ve written a post or two on my other blogs which means no post on this one. Anyways, hope you enjoy!)

- You meet J.D. when he transfers to your school. You’re in study hall when you just so happen to look up and make eye contact with the boy while glancing around the room.

- For the rest of the period, you feel like someone's watching you, and lo and behold, every time you sneak a glance his way, his eyes are on you. He doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he was looking, he just raises an eyebrow at you when you turn and meet his gaze.

- You spot him in the lunchroom later that day and ask your friends about him though they don’t have much information besides his name and where he moved from which they got from one of their teachers forcing him to introduce himself to the class. He was a mystery …and boy were you intrigued.

- You have your first conversation at the local Snappy Snack Shack. You’d just popped in to grab a little junk food, only to find him stalking through the store in his black trench coat. You figured you’d dance around each other until one of you left but before you knew it, he’d sauntered up to you and interjected that you looked familiar.

- Before you knew it, the two of you had introduced yourselves and began a sort of flirtatious conversation. He bought you a slushy and offered you a ride home on his bike which you coyly accepted after a moment of nervous hesitation.

- It was that same night that he returned to your house, rapping at your window and damn near giving you a heart attack. Even though it was terrifying at first, it was also sort of endearing and you soon found yourself joining him outside.

- Now, It’s your choice whether or not you sleep together that night. If you do then consider yourself kissed and claimed from then on. If you don’t, he’ll continue to show up at your house or hang around you at school until he gets what he wants. You.

- You suppose that your first date happened at the Snack Shack so from then on, the two of you were sort of seeing each other. Well, one of his favorite things to do with you is not be at home so the two of you were hanging out in an empty lot.

- The sun went down and you were sitting in the dark, the glow of the moon being the only thing lighting up your date. You were sitting down and he was lingering on his feet somewhere behind him, sorta pacing from what you could hear.

- He knelt down beside you and you turned your head to look at him, only to immediately get pulled into a kiss that all but had you melt into the floor. It was passionate and somewhat rough, exactly what you’d expect from him. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

- Well, he most certainly isn’t letting you go after that. I hope you like him babe because you’re not getting rid of him anytime soon.

- This man is fully willing to makeout with you in public. So yeah, there’s a lot of Pda.

- His hands are pretty much on you at all times.

- Pecks on the lips. He loves when you just give him a kiss for no reason at all.

- Rough, passionate kisses. He asserts his dominance by hooking his arms around you and pulling you into a searing kiss until you can’t breathe.

- He definitely calls you “woman” and a ton of other pet names ranging from cute to just plain annoying.

- He never would have imagined a girl like you would actually put up with him for so long …but boy is he thankful you have.

- He’s a little shit and that’s just something you’ll have to live with. He’s blunt, conniving and sarcastic, but he does care about you.

- He pretends like he doesn’t give a shit a lot of the time but he does, more than he cares to admit.

- Surprisingly enough, JD actually really likes cuddling. You’ll usually lay with your legs intertwined and your head resting against his chest while he wraps his arms tight around you.

- Jason's father sort of ignores him, they aren’t very close and certainly not close enough to be sharing affection besides; maybe, a pat on he back or something similar. So he craves attention and affection.

- He yearns for you to touch and love him but he doesn’t know how to tell you that he wants you to suffocate him with your own body. He’ll just try to repeat whatever it is he did to make you touch him or touch you until you do something to him.

- Hugs from behind.

- Husky whispers in your ear. He does it on purpose because he knows what it does to you.

- Motorcycle rides.

- Trying to get him to quit smoking. It never actually works but he; somewhat, tries to cut down on it for your sake. He thinks the fact that you care is sorta amusing.

- Cutting class together.

- Going shooting with him. The beer bottles and porcelain plates kind of shooting, not the Ram and Kurt kind of shooting.

- Dark humor. Although, sometimes you genuinely don’t know if he’s joking or not.

- He can always seem to make you laugh, even if it makes you feel guilty to laugh at some off the stuff he says.

- Hearing an alarming amount of gun and bomb facts.

- Going to Snappys Snack Shack with him.

- Junk food binges.

- He’s kind of a stalker if I’m being honest. He follows you around without you knowing, finds out everything he can about you, etc. You’re sort of like an obsession of his and that can be good or bad depending on the situation and to what extent you know about his feelings.

- He knows practically everything about you, ranging from your birthday to where you are at pretty much any given time.

- He’s not too great at all that lovey dovey shit but he tries. It might take him a little while to get the hang of it but he eventually will.

- Getting him to play the sax for you.

- Having his hand on your thigh whenever he’s driving.

- Making out.

- Hickeys.

- He likes when you wear his clothes, it’s like marking his territory without getting in trouble for making your neck different colors.

- Listening to morbid music.

- Deep existential conversations. What else do you talk about with your girlfriend besides the meaning of life and why society will ultimately cave in and destroy itself in a violent revolt?

- Late night phone calls from him. Be prepared to rush to your landline at three a.m. so that you don’t wake up your parents. You can’t even really be mad at him because he’ll just immediately launch into either a spiel about how he missed you or ask what your opinion on Manchurian candidates are; successfully silencing you in bewilderment.

- Getting random knocks at your window whenever he decides he just has to see you.

- Your parents either love or hate him, there is no inbetween. He’s generally pretty good at playing the role of the upstanding young man who cares a lot about their daughter; that parts real of course, but occasionally a parent will just get a bad vibe from him and his charade; though convincing, just won’t work on them.

- If that’s the case with your parents then you’ll sort of be forced to sneak out if you want to see him, which he’s particularly good at helping you do.

- Getting kept away from his father. He tries to keep your interactions to a minimum, especially if you have a much different personality than to the man.

- Incredibly jealous though he’ll always try to hide just how upset whatever situation you’re in makes him. He makes jokes and “forgets about it” as soon as you join his side, convincingly acting like nothing happened or that he saw nothing wrong with it but staying up the rest of the night wondering what he can do about it.

- Possessive. You’re each others, aren’t you? He’s yours and you’re his. Everybody belongs to someone and the two of you belong to one another.

- Is he protective? What do you think? If you ever complain about a person bothering you, he’ll almost immediately ask if you want him to kill them. You think it’s a joke. It’s not.

- Although it may seem like he does things just for his own benefit, he would genuinely do anything you ask of him. Sometimes he’ll surprise you with the lengths that he goes to make your life easier and happier.

- He’s hot tempered and kind of an asshole so the two of you are; most likely, almost constantly fighting. You’ll usually be yelling at each other or arguing passionately which is a problem because he thinks you’re hot when you’re angry. He’ll usually wind up trying to kiss you which succeeds in making things worse and having you give him the silent treatment/break up.

- He tries his best to give you your space but the instant you want him back, he’s all over you. He usually never actually apologizes but he doesn’t force you to when you’re in the wrong either so you suppose it’s fair.

- I love you’s are few and far between. He doesn’t really want to make himself seem too vulnerable so you only get them on rare occasions.

- The two of you tend to not talk about the future. He wants to be with you forever; which is obvious, and he wants you to be his; which is also obvious. But you don’t know if you’re entirely sure you can handle him. So, you try to just enjoy the time you’re spending together and not think about how things may end.

- You’re either the Bonnie to his Clyde or his blissfully unaware darling. Pick your poison.

#heathers headcanon #heathers headcanons #heathers imagine #jason dean imagine #jason dean headcanon #jason dean x reader #jason dean headcanons #jd imagine #jd headcanons #JD headcanon #jd x reader #80s movie imagine #80s movie imagines #80s movie headcanons #80s movie headcanon

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jisungsmochi · 3 years

Text

favorite crime - na jaemin

this is the second installment for my SOUR series! you can read jeno’s one here!

a little bad boy!jaemin x troubled (?) but still a ‘goodie goodie’ reader // strangers to friends to partner in crime to strangers again :/

word count: 7.2k

summary: “It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we'd do

'Cause I was goin' down, but I was doin' it with you”

who would have ever thought that, jaemin, the quiet boy you met in detention, would become your first love? getting involved with his shenanigans was probably the worst thing you could have done in your life. you were lucky enough to love someone like him, someone who excited you, scared you, and most of all, loved you back. but what happens when his actions suddenly have consequences?

a/n: this summary sucks but i liked writing this alot,, explains why it took me so long to write it oops.

tagging the bestie: @skrtbabe

Know that I loved you so bad

I let you treat me like that

I was your willing accomplice, honey

as you walked into the near-empty classroom, you made a beeline for the closest seat to the window. if you were going to be stuck in detention for two hours, you might as well have a nice view. you let out a short sigh to yourself, one hour and fifty eight minutes to go. the supervising teacher was lazily marking her class’ essays, completely choosing to ignore the entrance of na jaemin. he gave her a subtle scoff before stumbling past the desk, making his way to sit behind you. you heard him roughly place his bag onto the surface of his desk. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to look back and see what he was up to. jaemin was always a mystery to you, and to everyone else in the school. despite keeping himself away from the majority, people had quite a lot to say about the boy. you heard rumours that he got stabbed (which you didn’t believe at all) but your classmate, haechan, insists he had video evidence. if anything, you don’t think you had ever spoken to jaemin in your entire life, but that was all about to change.

thirty minutes into detention and you were beyond bored. everybody was either catching up on school work or trying their best to not be caught on their phones. you opted to staring out the window, eyes following the movements of a particular butterfly. eventually, the butterfly decided it was time to leave your line of sight, causing you to let out a short huff. you heard a soft chuckle, belonging to the previously silent boy behind you. you slowly turned to face him, his eyes immediately latching to meet yours. he had his chin perched on top of his right palm, a cunning grin on his face. you gave him a glare,

“what are you laughing at?” you faintly whisper to him. this caught him off guard, he didn’t expect you to sound so stern.

“an explosion is about to happen” you grew to be more confused, what is he talking about?

“wha-“

“i’ll be right back! s-stay where you are!” your teacher suddenly blurts out, rushing out of her room as fast as she could. the rest of the students all looked over at eachother, some even opting to leave detention entirely.

you turned back to the snickering boy, who clearly had something to do with it.

“what the hell did you do?”

“put laxatives in her coffee” your jaw dropped, how the hell did he manage to do that?

“w-what’s wrong with you?”

“what’s wrong with you? learn to live a little” he suddenly stood up, slinging his bag across his body. his eyes still stayed on you, silently asking for you to follow him. this was one hell of a first impression. you weren’t sure what took over you in that moment, but you found yourself trailing behind na jaemin like a lost puppy as he led you both out of the school gates. he didn’t speak much to you, aimlessly walking to wherever the hell he needed to be.

“so what did you get into detention for?” he suddenly asked you, causing you to stiffen. you weren’t a stranger to getting into trouble, your short temper often being the root of your issues. but you weren’t exactly the most comfortable talking to new people.

“ah you’re a bit shy? i’ll start then, i stole lee haechan’s clothes after gym practice” he smirked to himself, feeling some sense of pride.

“that was you? he was running around school butt naked because of you” you couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory of seeing two full ass cheeks after your history class.

“that’s what he gets for claiming that he has proof i got stabbed? which is ridiculous by the way” jaemin shakes his head before coming to a complete stop. you slightly bump into his right shoulder, quickly stabilising yourself before looking at the quiet cafe infront of you.

“hungry?” you nodded in response, following him into the cafe. he seemed to have known some of the workers, earning you a free croissant and hot chocolate.

“so, i told you why i got into detention, now it’s your turn” he chimed, clearly entertained by having you as company.

“i punched kim yuna in the face” you slightly cringed at your own words. you weren’t the one to be physical in your confrontations, but this girl really struck a nerve.

“sheesh, i saw her earlier, you gave her nose a good bruising, i must say” he couldn’t help but find the entire thing entertaining. this was so odd to you, every person that had witnessed it, thought you went crazy. but here jaemin was, laughing at the situation.

“you think this is funny?” you asked curiously, rather than in a judgemental manner.

“well yeah, i don’t know why you did it, but she probably deserved it” he shrugged, taking a bite of his own pastry. you felt your shoulders begin to relax, infact your entire demeanour had changed. jaemin was the only person that didn’t push you to admit your faults and apologise. he didn’t need to know the whole story, he just took your words for what they were.

the next hour consisted of you and jaemin, sharing stories on some of the mischievous things you had gotten up to in the past. from small things like setting off stink bombs during an exam, to running from the mall cops after stealing a pair of pants from a store. jaemin liked your reactions to his stories, at first your face would be full of shock, then turn into some sort of enlightenment. he found it quite endearing to watch. he wasn’t too bad on the eyes either.

“need me to walk you home?”

“i don’t need you to do anything for me” jaemin just smirked at your response,

“but i wouldn’t mind if you did”

“ah i see how it’s going to be”

“what do you mean?”

“our relationship, it’s going to be very push and pull” what on earth was he on about?

“you got that from just spending a few hours with me?” jaemin nodded, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

“i think we’ll be spending a lot of time together” was all he said back. if you had told yourself earlier that day, that you’d become na jaemin’s partner in crime, you’d punch yourself in the face. but this was only the beginning.

from that day onwards, you would purposely seek out jaemin’s presence. whether it be you walking to the most isolated parts of school, or simply trying to get into detention in the case he was there again. as a result of the laxative prank, jaemin had earned a two week long suspension. you had caught wind of this information from the school’s chatterbox, haechan. you’d think after being humiliated by jaemin, he’d keep his name out of his mouth.

you decided to visit the same cafe you accompanied jaemin to, incase he was hanging out there. you weren’t sure why you wanted to be around him so much. if anything, you were more at risk of getting another detention, or becoming a social outcast. but you were going to take those chances.

as you entered the cafe, your eyes scanned near and far for any sight of the black haired boy. you were about to give up, when you heard a voice,

“stalking me now?” you immediately froze, too nervous to turn back. you felt jaemin’s hand on your shoulder, slowly turning your around to face him.

“i-i no it’s not what it looks like-“

“it’s fine, you must have missed me, no?” he let a cocky grin land on his face. you just rolled your eyes, ready to walk right back out that door.

“let’s get up to some trouble today” he gripped your wrist gently, dragging you out of the cafe. he didn’t let go of you, once again, you were aimlessly following him. why did you let him do this to you?

jaemin wasn’t too much of a talker, he tended to try and speak with his eyes. you found it interesting, the way he expected you to know exactly what was on his mind. he eventually stopped walking after reaching an abandoned building. you were beginning to feel slightly anxious, noticing that the sun was slowly setting and the breeze was getting cooler. jaemin plopped his carry bag on the concrete floor, you heard clinking sounds erupt from the bag. he moved to pull out a few spray cans.

“ever graffitied?” you shook your head,

“not spray painting, but i’ve drawn some not so pleasant pictures in the bathroom stalls” you shrug as he handed you a can of bright yellow spray paint. he slightly chuckled at your anecdote, which made you look down at the ground.

“well you won’t get in trouble for messing up this place”

“what is this place anyway?” you start to shake the can, watching as jaemin started spraying onto the blank wall.

“somewhere i come when i don’t feel like going home” you weren’t sure if you wanted to press him to elaborate, so you just nodded, beginning to spray a random design of your own.

jaemin found hanging around you quite amusing. you were always up for anything he wanted to do. you seemed so cheerful about the simplest things, and never pushed him to explain the questionable things about himself. you were a lot different than the people he would usually surround himself with. but like many things in na jaemin’s life, they often went sour very quickly.

And I watched as you fled the scene

Doe-eyed as you buried me

One heart broke, four hands bloody

jaemin had asked you to accompany him to the abandoned building one night. you were half asleep and freezing to death as you approached his car. it was quite beat up, making you worried,

“is this thing even safe to be driving?” you groan as you wrap yourself in your large puffer jacket. jaemin had previously insisted you bring a sleeping bag and pillow. you chose not to question it, too tired to argue back with him.

“don’t disrespect my sweet ride! be grateful i didn’t make you walk in the cold” he scoffed before starting the engine. the car ride was fairly quiet, you were drifting in and out of sleep, in which jaemin noticed. he thought you looked so peaceful, so he tried his best not to make any sharp turns or run over many speed bumps. in a matter of time, he parked the car, gently wiggling your shoulder. you woke up instantly, feeling his cold hand on your cheek. you furrowed your eyebrows before following him out of the car. he led you to the same wall you both had graffitied on before, but this time, it seemed to have become a complete picture.

“i wanted to show you this! isn’t it cool?” he gleamed, pulling you to his side, slightly rubbing your shoulder to warm you up. you quickly ignored his touch, focusing back on the wall. it was a mirage of different doodles and words that must have meant something to jaemin.

“this is amazing, you did this all by yourself?”

“yeah, i really wanted to see your reaction”

“what does it all mean?”

“it’s kind of a representation of what goes on in my mind? i’m not the best with expressing my feelings with words, so i decided to let it out on this wall” jaemin spoke with such ease, his voice filling your ears with warmth. he pulled you closer to him when he saw you shiver,

“care to share?” you slightly joked. jaemin never got too deep with you, so you assumed he would brush the comment off. but he just stares back at you, his eyes piercing into your own. you held your breath as he leaned in closer to you.

“sure thing” he slowly leads you back to the car, turning on the heater as you both wrapped yourselves in sleeping bags. you were huddled up in the back seat, your head leaning on his shoulder as he played with his fingers.

“i never had an outlet for my imagination. my parents weren’t the most warm or loving people in the world. i barely remember anything from my childhood, except for the unpleasant memories. when i started hanging out with some of the older kids, they showed me the ropes of their crew. they taught me how to graffiti, how to carve things with a pocket knife, you know, basic seventh grade stuff” he let out a soft chuckle, but you didn’t laugh. instead you placed your hand over his, feeling the coldness shoot through your body.

“i-i don’t like showing how i feel. because i think it makes me weak, or pitiful. that’s a bad way of thinking, but i can’t help it. so i let out my frustrations here, by either spray painting or smashing random things. it’s nice to get it all out” he stops speaking, his posture suddenly stiffening. you lifted your head from his shoulder, forcing him to look over at you.

“i’m here to listen to you. you don’t have to result to destroying things in order to reveal your feelings. you can just talk to me next time, okay?” you assured him, tightening your grip on his hand. jaemin just nodded, his eyes faltering from yours. why were you so considerate towards him?

“wanna know why i punched yuna in the face?” you saw jaemin crack a smile, nodding frantically.

“she said some things about my family, how they only took me in because they felt sorry for me. see, i’m actually a foster kid, my real parents weren’t in the ‘right state of mind’ to take care of me. well, in the eyes of the law atleast” jaemin didn’t know how to respond, opting to pulling your head back into his shoulder.

“i know she was just trying to rile me up, my foster parents aren’t terrible. but hearing those words just struck a nerve. how can people be so judgmental?”

“that’s just life, love. everyone will always have their own opinions, but it’s up to you, on how to respond. or you can simply choose to ignore them, it’s always worked for me” jaemin started tracing small patterns on the back of your hand, feeling his eyes become drowsy.

“but i don’t want to always ignore my problems. i want to be able to face them, how else will i grow as a person?” you sighed,

“we grow each and every day, most of the time we don’t notice. you’re doing better than you think. sure, you’ll grow up soon enough, you’ll develop your own identity, but for now, enjoy the moment. don’t care too much about what others think, this is your life to lead” jaemin looked down at you, feeling a warm sensation reach his heart.

“for someone who doesn’t like speaking his mind, you sure give some great advice. promise we’ll be there for eachother?” you pull out your pinky finger from his grip, watching as he blinks for a few seconds. you sensed some hesitation, but blamed it on him being tired. eventually, jaemin linked his pink with yours, sealing it with a gentle press of his lips. you couldn’t hide how flustered you had gotten, burying your head in his chest as he started stroking your hair.

“thankyou for being with me tonight” he mumbled as he felt himself fall asleep,

“anytime”

sometimes jaemin would leave you hanging for days on end. at first you would get concerned, mainly for his own safety. you were never sure what he got up to in his spare time, and to be honest, you didn’t want to know. but after a certain amount of days, he would pop back into your life that nothing happened, as if no time had passed. today was one of those days. he was sitting on your bedroom floor, flicking through your history notes. you couldn’t pry your eyes away from him, he looked so peaceful.

“you’re so much smarter than me” he huffs, scratching his head as he closed your notebook.

“no way, i’m pretty average. you’re more street smart than i am” jaemin perks up at your words,

“i guess i am huh” he smirks to himself, making you slightly smile.

“i can help you study if you want, you need a pass, right?” you scooted over to him, sitting so that your shoulders brushed against eachother.

“well yes, technically. but passing doesn’t secure i’ll get into college. not that i can even go” he shrugs, eyes focused on his rings, beginning to fiddle with them.

“what do you mean?”

“i don’t have the grades, my parents barely have any money saved for my college fund. i don’t have a job, you see the issue here?” you sensed him stiffen up next to you, this topic clearly striking a nerve within him. you placed a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it,

“you know college isn’t for everyone. i’m sure you will be able to live a good life” jaemin knew you were trying your best to cheer him up. but these were constant thoughts and struggles he had been dealing with for what seemed like a lifetime. he knew you would never fully understand, and he couldn’t be mad at you for that.

“y-yeah, i’ll be fine” he sighs, linking is fingers with yours. you worried about jaemin so much, it slowly began to take over your mind. you caught yourself thinking about him more often, how you wanted to be there for him during his dark times. but jaemin always shoved off the idea of getting too deep with his emotions. sure, he trusted you with most things, but there was always a thought in the back of his mind. you were way too good for him.

“what is this?” you smiled brightly at the boy standing across from you. he was leant up against your locker, gift bag in his hands, shoving it towards you.

“a token of my appreciation for our growing friendship” you chose to ignore the last word, your feelings towards jaemin still being undecided.

you slowly open the bag, your eyes landing on a small box. you furrowed your eyebrows, before opening it.

“t-this is beautiful, jaemin. how did you afford this?” you gasped, pulling out the shiny necklace from the delicate box. it was a silver chain, that sparkled under the light at just the right angle. there was a small pendent latched onto it, a butterfly.

“don’t worry about that, do you like it?” he grinned at you, taking in your ecstatic reaction,

“of course! i cant thank you enough!”

you pull him into a warm hug, arms tightening around his torso. jaemin chuckled softly, bringing his arms to wrap around your frame, slowly swaying you side to side.

“being there for me is enough, i promise”

The things I did

Just so I could call you mine

The things you did

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

the following few days, jaemin went MIA again. you were beginning to become annoyed by his lack of communication. you wanted to believe he was gone for good reason, but something in your gut sensed something worse was happening. that’s when you decided to go to the abandoned building, remembering he often went there when he wanted to be alone. not having a car of your own caused many issues in your life. like right now, you were huffing and puffing once you hopped off your bicycle. you quickly set it aside, making your way to the building. before you turned to the main corridor that you met jaemin in many times before, you heard hushed voices, one belonging to the boy in question.

“we need this deal done asap. no excuses” a deep voice echoes through the building. you couldn’t get a good look at them without being caught, so you remained hidden behind a huge slab of concrete.

“b-but what if they think i’m scamming them because i’m new?” jaemin squeaked. you had never heard him so worried before.

“well you better think of some way to get them to buy, we can’t risk anymore losses. take this as initiation into the big boys club” what the hell was going on?

soon enough, the small group of men had left the building, walking past the concrete slab you were hiding behind. you let out a sigh of relief before rushing to jaemin. his eyes widened at the sight of you, part of him wanting to yell at you for being so stupid.

“what are you doing here?!” he was mad.

“i could ask you the same thing” you scoffed. jaemin suddenly became quiet, eyes avoiding yours.

“what’s going on? and i want the truth. the whole truth” he just sighed, dragging you back to his car. you folded your arms, in disbelief from what you had heard prior.

“i-i’m helping them with some deals okay? it’s just a side hustle to get some cash, i want to get out of this town. this is the only way”

“what are you dealing? drugs?” you gasped, watching as jaemin snapped his neck to face you.

“yes, it’s not as bad as you think-“

“not as bad? they’re literally part of a gang. do you know what happens to people who don’t seal these deals?” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“i know the risks. but i’m desperate. i just need enough to buy an apartment in another city and finally start my life” jaemin doesn’t know why he’s bothering trying to explain this to you. he brushed his fingers through his hair roughly, letting out a groan as he did so.

“when i said there are ways for you to live a good life, i didn’t mean deal drugs. i meant get an apprenticeship or something! literally anything but this”

“there’s nothing you can do to change my mind. i already swore i’d do this deal. i need the money. you wouldn’t understand” jaemin struck back, feeling attacked by your words.

“what the hell is that supposed to mean? i-i can’t do this. come back to me when you’ve come to your senses. this is stupid and you know it” you rush out of his car, causing jaemin to trail behind you as you stumbled to find your bike.

“come with me” you stopped in your tracks.

“pardon?”

“come with me to the deal. i-i don’t want to go alone” he says barely above a whisper,

“you’re crazy if you think i’ll follow you like a lost pup-“ jaemin pressed his lips on yours, hands stuck to your waist, gently rubbing your sides as he deepened the kiss. your words became jumbled as he continued to kiss you. as much as you wanted to argue back with him, feeling his lips on yours was only something you had experienced in your dreams.

“please” he whispered, pulling away from you momentarily.

“o-okay” you whispered back, hands now on his shoulders. jaemin smirked with pride before pulling you in once again. he led you back to his car, dragging you into the backseat. he began trailing kisses down your neck, erupting a pleased sigh from you. and just like that, you were wrapped around his silly little finger.

you were now seated in the passenger seat of jaemin’s busted ass car. your nerves were off the charts, and so were his. you had never seen him so anxious before, he was breathing in quick successions and couldn’t stop shaking.

“just get it over and done with...okay? get in and get out” you try your best to ease his nerves but how much could you really say? you were encouraging him to commit to a drug deal, this was not how you expected your friday night to go.

jaemin just nodded, clutching onto something in his jacket pocket. he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, gently stroking your hair as he did so.

“thankyou for coming with me” he mumbled. you just nodded, trying to ignore your intense gut feeling that something was going to go wrong. he led you by your waist into the noisy bar. you kept your head down, allowing jaemin to gain sight of the clients. he didn’t let you approach the group of men, so you tried to distract yourself with a random fruity cocktail from the bar. it wasn’t enough to push aside your worries.

after what seemed like hours, you caught sight of jaemin, who seemed like he was in a rush. he quickly scooped you away from your seat, swiftly leading you out of the bar. before you could even open your mouth, he interjects,

“no time for questions, get in the car now” he harshly shoved you into the passenger seat. now you were more worried than before.

“what the fuck is going on?!” jaemin didn’t answer you, starting the engine of the car. before you could press him any further, the same group of men rushed out of the bar, eyes scanning for the boy next to you. this wasn’t good.

“may or may not have given them the wrong amount...nothing a little hide and seek can’t fix!” jaemin tried to laugh it off, but you knew he was equally as scared. his dingy car wouldn’t start, adding to the panic in the atmosphere. the group of men were already in their own vehicle, approaching jaemin’s car rather quickly.

“fuck fuck fuck” he began shouting, slamming his foot on the accelerator as the car hurled forward. in a matter of time, he was speeding down the street. he probably ran a couple red lights and a few stop signs, but he wasn’t fazed. you on the other hand, were about to throw up. jaemin kept taking sharp turns to throw off the car chasing you, he barely looked back. you were terrified in this moment. anything could go wrong, one wrong turn, and it could all be over. soon enough, he stopped right outside the all too familiar abandoned building. he was out of breath, the adrenaline still present in his system. you were completely frozen, still in shock at what had occurred.

“wasn’t that riveting?” he smirked. he fucking smirked?

“are you kidding me? that was fucking insane. d-don’t do this again. i don’t want any part of this anymore” you began tearing up, feeling your heart pump out of your chest. jaemin’s face dropped as he tried to hold your hand, in which you pulled away immediately.

“t-take me home. please.” he didn’t say anything back to you. he respected your wishes and took you home safely. you didn’t even want to think about the punishment he would receive from the gang for messing up the deal. the only thought of your mind was your own safety. jaemin risked your safety this time around. you would have done anything for him, but in this moment, you were beginning to regret it. na jaemin was trouble. and you needed to stay away from trouble.

staying away from na jaemin was harder than you thought. subtle glances from across the classroom or school courtyard wasn’t doing you any good. so you sought refuge in the library. somehow he managed to find you there too.

“y/n, please, talk to me” you continued to read the novel you weren’t interested in, trying your best to remain angry. he sat across from you, pulling down the book from your face, eyes begging to meet yours.

“there’s nothing left to say” he just sighs, never seeing you be so stubborn.

“i know what i did was wrong, i shouldn’t have put you in that posit-“

“can we please not discuss this here? where anyone can hear us?” you quickly interrupt him, pulling him to the school parking lot. out of habit, jaemin led you to his car, opening the passenger side door for you. you got chills as you sat in the seat once again, the memories flooding back.

“i-i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have brought you into it. i just didn’t want to be alone...you’re the only person who doesn’t make me feel alone.” jaemin could barely look at you, too embarrassed of being vulnerable.

“you know how i’m against what you’re doing. and i know i can’t change your mind. i just can’t keep worrying about your safety. it hurts me knowing that you could get hurt one day” you began sniffling, which made jaemin’s heart ache. he pulled your face to meet his own, staring at your soft features. he slowly guided his fingers to wipe away your tears.

“don’t worry too much about me, love. i’ll be just fine” he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, and just like that, you were dragged right back into his arms.

“be careful” you whispered against his lips,

“always”

You used me as an alibi

I crossed my heart as you crossed the line

And I defended you to all my friends

jaemin wasn’t careful. not in the slightest. he showed up at your window, hands clutching to his lower torso area as he stumbled into your room. you hushed him to be as quiet as he could but you immediately knew something was wrong. he practically fell to his knees, soft whimpers and sighs leaving his mouth. you quickly moved to turn on your lights, taking a better look at the boy in pain. your eyes travelled along his face, covered in scratches and bruises.

“you good with playing medic tonight?” he joked, trying to relieve the tension. but you were not having any of it. you pulled him into your bed, allowing him to lay on his back. he had an array of cuts over his body, including a large gash on his lower lip. you swiftly rushed to the bathroom, grabbing your not so impressive first aid kit, but it would have to do for now. you tried your best to disinfect what you cold, until you reached his torso. you saw there were specks of blood leaking onto his t shirt, which made you more worried than you were initially. jaemin just sighed, lifting up his shirt slowly. your eyes were glued on the painful wound plastered on the right side of his body.

“d-did someone stab you?!” you felt tears prickle the side of your eyes. how could he be so stupid?

“n-no, its just a cut, it’s not even that deep” he tried to play it off, but the moment you pressed the cleansing wipe onto the wound, he winced.

“stop playing the tough guy. i hate when you play tough guy” you groan, trying your best to tend to his wound. jaemin watched as your expression changed from one of concern, to annoyance.

“hey, don’t be mad at me, okay?” he brought his hand to hover over your thigh, gently stroking his fingers on the surface.

“i’m sorry” he whispered, trying his best to sit up, but you immediately pushed him back down. you moved to lay next to him, allowing yourself to finally look him in the eyes.

“i can’t always be here to take care of you like this, jaemin. as much as i want to, there are going to be times where i just can’t. you have to understand that”

“of course, i didn’t expect you to be my personal nurse or anything. i just don’t want you to leave” his words sank deeply into your thoughts.

“i-i won’t leave”

“thankyou. i promise i will take you out and we will have fun. like old times. we can go on a road trip, or even that stupid homecoming dance you keep talking about. i’ll do anything to make it up to you because i ca-“ he immediately stopped himself, clutching his side.

“just get some rest, we can continue this discussion another day. goodnight jaem” you just sighed, turning on your back to face him. jaemin didn’t know why he couldn’t finish his sentence. he does care about you. more than anyone else in the world. but why couldn’t he just say it?

you on the other hand, were too busy imagining your future with jaemin. would he be there as your partner in crime for life? or was he just someone passing by to teach you a lesson? you weren’t too sure you wanted to find out.

“y/n, principal lee wants to see you in his office” your economics teacher informed you during class, eyes of classmates following you as you left the room. you swore you hadn’t done anything remotely mischievous lately, besides snatching a cheat sheet for the upcoming final.

“ah yes y/n, please take a seat” principal lee invited you into his office. you tried your best to stay focused on the stubby man in front of you but you couldn’t ignore the two police officers standing to the side.

“you wanted to see me, sir?”

“yes, these officers are here to ask you some questions. don’t worry, you aren’t in trouble. they just need some information for their investigation” he explains as best he could, shifting the conversation over to the two officers.

“as principal lee mentioned, we just need information. are you comfortable with us asking you a few questions?” you slowly nodded, hands beginning to clam up.

“we have reason to believe your friend, na jaemin, has been involved in an incident that occurred last thursday. he claims he was present with you that night. can you confirm this?” you immediately froze. you swore you didn’t even blink. that was the night he came to your window, all banged up a bruised. but you couldn’t tell them that part. so you went with a variation of the truth,

“yes, he was with me, we often study together and watch movies on thursdays.” you tried your best to maintain eye contact, not wanting to draw any more attention.

“have you noticed anything odd in his behaviour lately?” you knew they were just following protocol, but you weren’t prepared for any of this.

“not really. he is quite reserved naturally, but there hasn’t been anything too alarming, in my opinion” the officers just nodded, scribbling down your words.

“thankyou for your time, if we were to need any more statements from you, would you be okay with that?” you simply nodded, wanting nothing more than to get back to class.

“great, we’ll be heading off now, thankyou principal lee, and y/n” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. what in god’s name happened that night?

“why were the cops coming out of the office? did you do something?” your friend, jimin asked you as she rushed to your side.

“n-no, they were asking about jaemin” you sighed. you didn’t want to tell her much, knowing she wasn’t his biggest fan.

“y/n, you have to stop hanging out with him so much. he’s bad news. i mean, he’s got the cops questioning you? is that someone you really want to be with?” you knew she had your best interest at heart, but she didn’t know jaemin like you did. no one did.

“don’t talk about him like he’s some pest in my life. he makes me happy, okay? i’d do pretty much anything for him” you huff, beginning to walk away.

“but would he do anything for you?” her words made you stop in your tracks. she was right to question that. god, even you questioned it sometimes. would he?

And now every time a siren sounds

I wondеr if you're around

'Cause you know that I'd do it all again

jaemin insisted he take you to the homecoming dance — he even pinky promised you.

“jaemin! i’m so excited for tonight, what time are you coming by?” you excitedly squeal into the phone, making jaemin slightly chuckle.

“uh love, i-i don’t think i can make it tonight” you felt your heart drop.

“what? why?”

“i have some business to take care of. i promise you i’ll take you out soo-“

“i think you should stop making promises you can’t keep. hope you have fun doing whatever you’re doing” you immediately hung up, wiping the stray tears from your face. you quickly pulled yourself together. showing up alone to the homecoming dance after you told your friends you were going with jaemin, was probably one of the most embarrassing things you had ever experienced. they all felt pity for you, dragging you to dance, trying to get you to forget about jaemin. but nothing was working. you were beyond disappointed, partially in yourself, for believing he could actually keep his promise.

the moment you got home, you saw someone sitting on the steps just outside your front door. you let out a loud sigh, hoping he heard everything. you wanted to push right past him and go to bed, but jaemin trapped you in his arms. you felt something was off about him. he was stiff as a board, he didn’t say anything to you. you finally got a glimpse of his face, his right eye was swollen and there was a slight gash on his cheek. you immediately gasped, all your anger towards him had fizzled away.

“w-what happened?” you barely whispered, bringing your hand to the side of his face. jaemin winced as he felt the touch, quickly pulling away.

“finally got what was coming” he tried to laugh it off, but he knew you weren’t going to laugh back. instead, you allowed him to follow you to your room, hoping your parents were fast sleep.

jaemin slowly made his way to sit on your bed. you felt like he had something else he was hiding from you, but your main focus was yet again, tending to his wounds.

“i’m getting some real déjà vu right now” you sighed, cleaning his face. jaemin tried his best to not move, but everything stung. he really got it bad this time.

“i’m sorry for breaking my promise. i know how much the dance meant to you” he softly muttered, eyes avoiding yours.

“i-it’s okay”

“no it’s not! you do so much for me, and i couldn’t even do this one thing for you. i feel so shitty. why do you even keep me around? i’m deadweight and that’s trouble for someone with wings” he scoffs, replaying harsh words he had heard from others in the past. you slowly plucked away the medical kit, turning to face him properly. (a/n: not me using a quote from the show ‘panic’)

“you’re not deadweight...you’re a good person, jaem. you’re good to me, that’s what matters” you gently push away the stray strands of hair that covered his forehead. he smiled at your touch, leaning into your palm as you brought it to cup his cheek.

“i love you”

you almost choked on your own saliva...he loves you?

“w-what?”

“yikes, not the response i was hoping for” he yet again, tried to relieve the tension with a joke. but you weren’t having any of it.

“can you be serious for one minute in your life? you can’t just say something like that and not expect me to freak out! i mean, do i love you too? of course i do! i would be stupid not to, but jaemin, you cant just spit that out of nowhere!” you began pacing around your room, which made jaemin smile even wider.

“well i just did. and i mean it” he stood to meet you, standing in the middle of your room as he held your shoulders in place.

“s-so what happens now?” jaemin hesitated for a moment, did he just ruin everything?

“we can’t be together”

“pardon?”

“i-i can’t do that to you. i can’t let you be with someone like me. i’m constant danger. the cops are going to get me one day, and i don’t want you to see it happen” he started rambling, you were barely understanding anything.

“this makes no sense. you’re telling me that you love me but you can’t be with me? why would you do this to me?” you started sobbing,

“i-i don’t expect you to understand. i just needed to tell you before...” he paused, pulling you closer to him. but you pushed yourself away. you didn’t want to hear anymore but forced yourself to listen. you needed answers.

“before what?” you gritted through your teeth,

“before i leave” your eyes widened, tears stopped flowing for a moment. you couldn’t make out any words, allowing jaemin to explain,

“i cant stay here, not in this town. i need to go somewhere else. somewhere they won’t find me. somewhere i can start over” he sighed, sitting back down on your bed.

“take me with you! we can go tonight, i don’t care where i am, as long as you’re with me i’ll be okay!” you begged, pulling out your duffel bag from under your bed. but jaemin quickly gripped your wrists, pulling you to sit with him on the bed.

“y-you can’t come with me. it’s not fair on you, or me. i want you to have a better life, a life with no regrets. you have so many goals, i can’t hold you back from them. i won’t” he insisted, holding your hands in his as he pleaded you with his eyes. you weren’t thinking straight, everything became so overwhelming.

“why are you doing this to me? i cant do this without you! i cant get through all of this without you. please don’t leave” your hands began to shake. jaemin brought them to his lips, placing soft pecks on each knuckle in an attempt to calm you down.

“you can. i know you can. because you’re you. an incredibly loyal, intelligent and courageous person. you don’t need me. if anything, i need you more” he smirked at the last part. you kept shaking your head, not believing anything he was saying.

“just promise me one thing?” he whispered, leaning in closer to you so that your foreheads touched.

“don’t forget me. don’t forget all the things we got up to. i had so much fun with you, more fun than i’ve had in my entire life. i can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. i love you, okay? i’ll always love you” finally, he kissed you. his hands dragged to your waist, rubbing over the soft skin. you shined into the kiss, partially still upset with his departure.

“can we just have one last night together?” you pulled away, wiping away the rest of your tears. jaemin softly nodded, pulling you down onto the bed, wrapping his arms around you.

“thankyou for being my partner in crime. i’ll miss you” he sighed, gently scribbling random doodles on your arm with his fingers.

“i miss you already. maybe one day, we’ll meet again? i don’t know, am i being silly?” you didn’t want him to answer, afraid he’d break another promise.

“you’re not silly at all. we’ll see what life has planned for us” he responded. that was enough for you. you’ll leave it up to fate. you were just happy you were spending one last night with the boy you loved so dearly.

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we'd do

'Cause I was goin' down, but I was doin' it with you

Yeah, everything we broke and all the trouble that we made

But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Oh, look what we became

you awoke the very next morning in an empty bed. your heart sunk, knowing jaemin was gone had finally hit you. your eyes drifted to where he once was, landing on a piece of paper.

‘go to the building for one last goodbye. i hope you like it.

- jaem <3 ‘

you quickly got changed and rushed there as fast as you could. would he be there to bid you farewell? you weren’t betting on it, but was still curious as to what he had to show you. you made your way into the building, your eyes cascading over all the graffiti. finally, you saw exactly what he left for you. he painted over the mural you both worked on. it had been replaced with a painting of a butterfly. its wings were all different colours, you could tell he spent ages on it. you finally reached the bottom of the artwork, a small inscription was engraved,

‘for the one with the wings, keep on soaring’

“so cheesy, i hate it” you joke to yourself, smiling at his words. this was his final gift for you. as you admired the painting once again, memories of all your little adventures came rushing back. everything you did together seemed like an eternity ago. although you wished you had confessed to him sooner, or kissed him harder, you knew that he was gone for good. jaemin wasn’t the time to keep many promises, so you’ve learnt. you started to put your faith in the universe. if you were meant to be, then you would meet again. but for now, you were content with everything you had gone through together. you were grateful to have known someone as amazing as jaemin, and you would never take that for granted. you only hoped he would do the same, no matter where you both were in life. you hoped you could both grow wings and soar through life without any regrets.

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