#would love to see a full morally grey percy

[dcangel]

!!pjo spoilers!!

percy jackson IS morally grey, but only when it come to annabeth’s safety

#bros the original ‘‘touch her and you’re dead’’ #would love to see a full morally grey percy #percy pjo #percy series #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percabeth #percy and annabeth #percy jackson pjo

[samrieimg]

I'm shook by your reading habits. Not in a bad way, just surprised you don't really read Wilbur/Schlatt or Wilbur/Quackity. Majority of Dre/grge in makes me cringe bc they make them both OOC. Sounds stupid of me to say because all fanfics shoehorn their personalities in some way. I usually stick to Wilbur stories. I think when I gave a chance to your DNF series, it was the only enjoyable portrayal out there. What sort of DNF stories/tags do you enjoy? Are you disappointed by the offerings out there?

Oh yeah, I'm disappointed a lot. I'm picky.

Special interest rant below >:). Long af.

Color code for sections.

How i read fanfic

Manhunt D/NF

C!DN/F

XDN/F

......How I read fanfic......

What I do is go through a tag, choose random filters based on the day, search by bookmarks then go through 8 pages, opening fics in a new tab I might read. Then, go through what I collect and see if I'm hooked. Usually out of 15 fics chosen I'll find 1 or 2 I'm like "hey, this was pretty okay." Rarely ill find something I'm like "gonna subscribe and camp this."

Manhunt D/NF

I do love DN/F Whump. If no one is hurt, it's hardly as fun.

I'm not going to lie, Manhunt!Dreem is my favorite. I really love him being a scary, but still funny and morally grey wisecracking man, but finding a fic where they don't make George a woman in a George disguise is hard. Why did you castrate him? Where is his feral energy, rude tone and the fact he's a 25yo man, writers?! If an author doesn't let George sound just as dumb as Spnap and half as cocky, I click off. The amount of authors writing themselves as George is unreal.

DSM/P Verse C!D/NF

I love XDN/F and love c!D/NF, but can't ever find fics I like of either.

So, with c!DN/F, I really search for a fic honestly written by what the fandom terms "apologist", but also, it can't defang him. Dre has to be bloodthirsty, but likable and charismatic. He needs to care, but do an awful job showing it. He has to be full of character!

But whenever I find fics that nail him, they fail at Gog or vice versa. Half the time I see "Gogy fixes him :)" No, Gogy does not fix him. Gogy is also just as messed up.

There is not an ounce of c!Gogy lore I've seen that would make me think he's not going to kill someone too. Have we all been watching the same man? He kidnapped Michael with Surpnurp and that was the funniest shit ever and the fact it got retconned I'm so sad about. C!Gogy is a nightmare. He's batshit, he's unhinged, he likes chaos. He's cold and standoffish to everyone outside his friends and a gremlin. But he also cares so much. Underneath that he's caring in odd small ways. He's going to steal your flower garden and then come back with a sandwich, hand you half, and then tell you a story about a cat he saw in the woods. He's lazy and a coward, yet cocksure and a persistent stubborn ass when he wants to be.

Yet fics write him like a victorian woman pining at the window for their love. Locked in a prison. How sad. He's going to criticize c!Dre for his wrongs? No. He's going to criticize c!Dre for not getting him armor and helping him and dethroned him and not giving him attention.

A fic I crave is a villainous c!Q (that's still sympathetic, and clearly written morally grey) killing c!Gogy. I want c!Q to taunt c!Dre. I want c!Q's obsession with power to push past his obvious love for his friends and I want there to be casualties. I want c!Gogy to be a price. I want his blood.

XD/NF Ramble

Now XDN/F. Oh man. My old writing long before DSM/P was in a fandom with Greek-like gods and I found myself pouring hours, and hours, and hours into researching religions as a teen. I came away with so many stories of gods who always were too inhuman, too powerful. Even out of love humans were hurt. Like many kids, I'd read Percy Jackson, but I saw a world of possibilities. I saw stories of humans falling in love with gods ending tragically.

But I haven't EVER dropped my obsession with stories of gods' and their human followers. I am so deeply in love with the concept.

But I fell in love with XD/NF because it was what I'd wanted, and honestly, George's lore eps are a HELL of a lot like the old media. You have to make sense of what's canon and not yourself and it's such what I wanted.

But...one AO3s filtering is limited by what people tag, and XD/NF isn't separated from D/NF in searches. And the fandom largely discards c!Gogy...just like they did for well...my old blorbo.

But anyway. I do actually have a super vested love for DN/F. Mostly AU fantasy verses, but I've read that one popular more RPF-esque one.

But the fandom lets me down ;-;. Mostly how they wrote Gogy.

#long post #author rambles

[thejudgingtrash]

would you class percy as a morally grey character? i’m really interested to hear your input

Anon 2: Would u class percy as an Morally Gray character?

Hey there! Let me write that essay for you about morally gray Percy ^^

It’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s about he has to be otherwise the story doesn’t make any sense. At least for me it wouldn’t.

Ashley (@gr33kg0ds) said in the tags of my dark!Percy post something along the line of people diminishing Percy’s character because they need him to be pure and fluffy and I wholeheartedly agree with that!

Just because Percy’s twelve doesn’t mean he’s pure and didn’t do unproblematic things. I’ll mostly refer to The Lightning Thief because that book is the Magnus Opus for Riordan and perfectly stands for Percy as a morally gray character from the very beginning of the saga. (Also the only book I’ve recently re-read)

As much as I love fanon with all the amazing artworks, debates, memes and jokes, analysis, cool edits and wonderful fanfics, projecting your version of Percy doesn’t make the image in your head real. Percy in canon is not the fun and fluffy boy you imagine him to be or which social media sites (Reddit, Twitter, Instagram and yes, also Tumblr) tend to make him to be. He’s a scrawny little sarcastic twerp that was the unpopular kid. He isn’t that cringy dude Tony Lopez doing that fucking weird TikTok dance (side note: I don’t even know who this person is and I don't care, I saw the video and immediately wanted to delete every social media app on my phone, so thanks Tony?), kissing his Yeezys goodnight, vibing to our lord and gay icon Taylord “T. Swizzle” Swift song and flexing them iPhone 11 Max Pros. Percy literally said that going to Burger King with his mother once in a while would be considered a luxury. He’s a poor bastard in literal sense.

Part of the problem with the distinction of Percy’s character and his motives stem from the fact that Percy is a sneaky unreliable narrator and we as the audience (especially if you’re younger) don’t question most of his behavior if you even question some (pretty sure that most of us only picked up weird stuff as adults). Everything seems plausible to you. But does it mean that his behavior is necessarily good? Something that would paint his character as good?

Like I’ve said, let’s take a look at TLT. The very beginning of everything and the wonderful line that gets quoted everywhere: “Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood”. 

The very first line that quoted everywhere or used as in moodboard and edits but its meaning and significance get brushed off for the most part. It immediately sets the tone and the atmosphere for the book and for Percy as a character. A(n in my opinion) morally gray character. The very first thing we hear from Percy is that he doesn’t want to be in this world. He’s an involuntary participant who has been (upon further reading) blackmailed and forced into this world and is only cooperating to get his mother back and said in regards to his father (who also stands for the Greek pantheon) ”well yeah, would be nice to know about my dad but I’ve survived without him the past twelve years so I don’t know, he wouldn’t be missed necessarily I guess?“ That pretty much tells you, it foreshadows, that we will be dealing with someone with grit, someone that fights back, someone that went through shit, someone that isn’t a goody two-shoed character. Does it mean he’s a terrible (in the sense of evil or bad) character from the get go? Not really, but it tells you in nuances that he won’t be the white shining knight you might expect from a fairy tale.

There is so much that little Perseus Jackson has to offer you directly in the first book. So much that paints him as a morally gray character. From the illegal candy stash all the way to tricking Procrustes into his own trap. He knows right from wrong and isn’t innocent by any means. He wants you to think he’s innocent. Yes, he hunts monsters and the book also tells you that some adults (Gabe) can also be monsters, but Percy’s personality is so interesting and full of facets which I love! He’s misleading you on purpose. Deflects, plays events down. He lies in front of you to others but you don’t really doubt it. Instead of questioning it, you understand it.

What distinguishes Percy from other male protagonists in that notion that the author doesn’t try to paint him as particularly good (the reader connects the dots, in reality) is pretty much that. Percy is neither inherently good or bad. He’s in the middle. He does lots of questionable things and his personality adds to it. Something that immediately comes to my mind is his lack of fear of consequences. He thinks in the short term and not in the long term. Of course, he’s caring about those that are close and important to him (Grover, Annabeth and his mother of course. And well. The world not getting destroyed by his weird father and fucking crazy uncle would be a plus). But Percy isn’t really a strategist (yet). Look at the Medusa head thingy. Annabeth and Grover warn him, that he’s gonna get his ass beat and he doesn’t care. That these gods could squish him in the end didn’t matter to him.

The Olympian gods are painted as these unpenetrable huge mighty force and some fuzzy annoyed twelve year old dipshit sends them the severed head of a monster - but not any monster, the monster his father had a role in creating (well, Athena for the most part, but you know what I mean). (Also, I know this kinda reckless behavior gets sorta rewarded but at first, everyone was like ‘NO, NO, NO!’ before Percy was glorious with his attempt). Percy essentially tells these ancient forces that drive the way of his new cosmos how shit‘s gonna work from now on.

Percy isn’t fear riddled and doesn’t think about the possible outcome. He manipulates, he lies, he persuades and all of this as soon as he hits twelve. But probably earlier. Pretty sure he had to become a believable lier in order to trick (survive being around) Gabe. Perseus is angry, he’s agitated. Had Riordan written Percy as a soft spoken, frightened, goody two-shoed kid, almost nothing in TLT and the follow-ups would have made sense. He’s the outcast, but slowly blossoms into the strength and muscles of the group. Of the entire camp. Someone that outsmarts opponents and wins battles. But he didn’t do that by playing nice and being a bootlicker.

TLT would’ve been a perfect standalone book that would have emphasized that Percy is an involuntary person sive) if you skip Kronos, leave a little bit foreshadowing with the prophecy out, tweak the talks with the gods and Annabeth’s first meeting and skip Luke and the scorpion at the end. The ending would’ve been “and so Percy had a first awesome summer vacation and found a group of friends for life” or so (aka PJO movie 1 in less shitty and more cohesive).

The morally gray character shrinks a little bit in the SOM because there lie straighter dangers ahead which dive more into the bigger picture and Percy grows more into the character who takes care of friends and but he does come back with TTC, and definitely BOTL and the St. Helens explosion.

Consequences of Percy’s interactions had people partially dying. There is doubt, there is guilt. But the show must go on. There are battles that have to be won. There is no big giving up, no big overturn for the bad guys.

Also... isn’t it interesting that we start with Percy saying ”look, I don’t want to be in this world“ in TLT and it ends with TLO where he says ”for once I didn’t look back“? The full circle? The way that accepting his fate took five books? To change Percy from being an involuntary participant to becoming voluntary? He didn’t want to be a half-blood, he didn’t want to be the kid in the prophecy, but he actively chose to be in the end. He went from a darker shade of gray to a mayhaps lighter, if you want to say so.

To conclude, I repeat myself again: it’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s that he has to be.

Thanks for asking me about some meta stuff I really do like diving into these things here and there. Tumblr’s sorta glitchy, I do get notifications but I really don’t see asks, so I’m sorry if my response is mad late ^^

#mel answers #pjo #Percy Jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #the lightning thief #rick riordan #the last olympian

[onlywished]

☕ Kritanta with the MerSquad. I just wanna know

Hope you’ve been doing well 🍬

❤ Send ☕ for someone of your choice to take care of my love potion-ed oc!

[I hope you've been doing well too 💖 I'm doing a bullet list for them since it's hard to keep track of five characters at once ✊😔]

- Meri is.... well, Meri. Surprisingly he might be one of the easiest for Kritana to look after since under the effects of the love potion, he's entirely focused on whoever it is that he "fell for" to the point that there's none of his usual Shenanigans to look out for

- To be honest, her safest bet is to just leave him with whoever it is he has his sights on (within reason) because the Moment she tries to take him away, he's kicking and screaming!!

- It'd probably be easy to subdue him if it wasn't for the fact she has three other mermaids to look after ajfjsjjxs

- Bellus is really just his usual self! Or... at least seems to be. He still has his flirty moments, compliments people he thinks are pretty, but he's a lot more... subdued

- like he's lost interest in everyone

- it isn't until someone mentions Percy flying by and Bellus tries to fucking get out the nearest window to see him is it obvious that he's under the potion too. Kritana has to keep this fucker from jumping into the ocean around Piraticus and swimming away where she can't reach!! He ends up being the second biggest handful to deal with if she doesn't want a runaway mermaid

- Kenn is trying, he really is. His habit of looking out for people he cares about has been focused entirely on whoever it is he came into contact with after his dosage, so now whoever it is being buried under gifts by a smothering yet well-intentioned Kenn

- He does listen to Kritana more than Meri!! He still keeps lingering with whoever he's in "love" with, but he'll listen long enough to pull away from them when Kritana asks. Really, the main problem she has to deal with is him constantly getting distracted by things wondering if his person would like this or want that

- On the bright side, he does help her wrangle in the other Mers. But he has a constant longing air as long as he's away from his "love"

- Caspian is a Menace. Until the other Mers, he grew up away from even Neverland civilization with a morally grey at best adult being one of the only two people in his life. So when he's under the love potion affect, he also wants to always be with his "love" but unlike the others who wanna go to them, he's taking Them to Him

- Yeah this man is straight up hunting down whatever poor fucker managed to catch his eye. He'll even go back to his merform if it'll help, which has the threat of Literally Breaking The Piraticus Ship. Kritana really has her hands full ☆

- Hes the one Kritana would have to keep an eye on the most to prevent damage to the ship and PTSD for whoever got stuck as his "love". Unlike the others who just try to sneak away, he's willing to lie and use force to get out of Kritana's watch. Put a fucking backpack leash on this man

#asks #others ocs #meri barbeau #bellus delmar #kenn marino #caspian havelock #bellus gets to have a specific 'love' because he'd never like percy in his right mind 💖

[your-turn-to-role]

hi okay i hate sending asks to people without knowing them but you seem kind so im trying: during the break, i’ve been working my way through VM, and i’m at episode 75. my question, because i’ve read some of your more recent meta, is “what’s Percy’s deal?” i know he’s loved by the fandom, but i can’t find myself relating to him, and i find his assertions that he’s the only one with a plan offputting. is there more context you can give to me about percy’s character that explains his motivations?

aww, thank you!

(and yeah, asks like this are totally fine, i totally get that anxiety, good job on sending this!)

i mean, first off, you don't have to like a character everyone else does? if you don't relate to percy you can just, not relate to percy, that's fine

(and to be fair, as much as i love him as a character, i would not want him as a friend, because he's a very flawed person that has a lot to work on, but in fiction those traits are interesting to watch rather than difficult to deal with)

but, percy's deal! the short answer is people generally like him because taliesin's funny and charismatic and he does morally grey right, which is rare and a fun thing to explore (also in his relationships with other people, the entire vex-vax-percy-keyleth square is full of neat parallels and opposites and interesting things and i have whole essays in my head on all six combos there)

i don’t know which posts you’ve read so i’ll link this one here too, just to cover a couple more of the generally unnoticed aspects of his character, and things i like about percy

he’s also far from perfect, as you’ve noted, he does tend to believe he’s the smartest person in any given room, because he’s young and clever and used to being that, which you’re allowed to find off putting, but i will say i find he does that less than a lot of characters of his general archetype? he listens to pike, he listens to keyleth, he listens to vex, he respects when they have more knowledge than him on a particular subject, he’s not above asking for help. and generally most of the arguments he has with keyleth on that subject aren’t him asserting he knows more than her, but more a matter of principles and values (they’re a really interesting pair that way, they have similar backgrounds, both children of royalty running away from the crown, but they’re such opposites. percy is a natural leader who would rather anyone rule than him, keyleth fumbles her way through all of it but sticks to it because she doesn’t want to let anyone down, percy is a pragmatist, keyleth is an idealist, they both are too focused on the big picture but in two completely different ways, i could write a whole other post on this, but to get to my point, they wouldn’t be such good balances for each other if percy didn’t absolutely respect where keyleth is coming from)

for the long answer, i’m gonna break this down into parts and try to get to the core of percy's character and why he is the way he is

(under the cut bc this gets long)

1 - heavy trauma

like... this is the really really big one. percy, at age 17 or 18, had his entire life up to that point completely destroyed. his family was killed, his friends were killed, people he trusted like family (professor anders, who was a more present figure in percy's life than his actual parents) betrayed him and helped the briarwoods, he was imprisoned in his own castle's dungeons and tortured for information, they threw his siblings' bodies in there with him to make a point, cassandra helped him escape but as far as he knew she died helping him. he has two years of his life after that he straight up doesn't remember, his hair turned white from the stress of it. 

trying to go after ripley the first time didn't work, he was captured and left to starve in a prison cell, for the first few months of travelling with vox machina he genuinely believed it wasn't real, because realistically no one was gonna come save him, this was just a hallucination of his dying mind. returning to whitestone he was forced to confront the fact that literally everyone he ever knew growing up (with the sole exception of archibald) was either dead or working with the briarwoods, and even after retaking the city there's a lot that can never be repaired. 

and he's just... never really dealt with any of this? like, he gave vox machina the technical details of what happened to him in the briarwood arc, because they needed to know that information, but the first time he actually started processing his trauma, the first time he admits it out loud to anyone, is the final episode of campaign one. before then it had been occasional snide or handwavey comments, and like, he'll let himself feel the anger over it (in the beginning of the story he encouraged it, because then he didn't have to feel anything else), but he's never processed the grief, never admitted to himself how badly that affected him

which means he's got a lot of pent up emotions in there that he just keeps burying, and sometimes they come out in unhealthy ways. having so much taken from him also makes him really motivated to keep the things he does have - he’s got some deep set abandonment issues and takes any kind of betrayal really badly, don’t know if you’ve got up to the scanlan stuff by the time i post this, but that’s something to keep in mind as to why he acts the way he does there. (and it’s not more explicit because percy was raised nobility, keeping a brave face through anything is part of who he is, he tends to cover emotions he’s insecure about in snark or indifference or, for the intense ones, anger, because those are the things he thinks he’s allowed to show, but the real emotions show up occasionally, when they’re particularly strong, or if you’re reading between the lines. he really does care a lot about vox machina)

2 - legacy and loyalty. 

speaking of nobility, it's hard to do a character study on percy without mentioning whitestone and the house of de rolo. this is the number one thing to percy. he was raised to respect title and name, and most importantly, raised to respect the people he represents - both the townsfolk of whitestone and also percy's ancestors and future de rolo generations. whitestone is more important than any one life, he has a duty to protect and serve it, and that comes before any personal wants he may have. it's also important to him for family reasons - he was a pretty lonely child, but he loved reading about the history of the city, all the weird ghost stories whitestone had even before the briarwoods. it probably made him feel more connected to all of that, this is the place he belongs. and after his family dies, it becomes even more important, because this is his connection to them. the soul of a city lives as long as its people, by protecting what's left, he keeps a little bit of what came before

(and also in just tidbits to understand percy's character, he sees all cities and man-made things the same way - in a world where some races live for centuries or millennia, their history exists mostly by word of mouth, you can physically talk to people who were around 500 years ago and get their take on things - humans don't have that, they get 100 years at most, so the things they build are vital to their heritage. this is how you keep people alive long after they're gone, by honouring what they created. and especially for someone so concerned with legacy and history, percy literally says abandoning westruun would be blasphemy, because the place people grew up is important, yes it's better that they live, but letting the city be abandoned and destroyed would be an irreparable act of violence.) 

this is the number one thing on percy's mind when evaluating anything about himself, where do i come from, and what do i leave behind? which is a question that has a lot of moments to be tested, because of my next point...

3 - pragmatism and terrible thoughts

when it comes down to it, percy is a very ends justify the means kind of person. he finds it very easy to square away any kind of collateral damage as long as it gets him to his end goal. see: trial of the take, where he's fine to catch his friends in the blast radius of a new bomb design because he's so excited that it worked, preparing to fight vorugal and resigning himself to potentially having to kill innocent people to kill the dragon (he wasn’t okay with that, but he would do it), also his conscious decision to let ripley go, knowing she would lead to the deaths of thousands because it was her or the briarwoods and he wanted revenge 

(this is by his own admission his lowest point and worst mistake, because as mentioned, he thinks about the consequences of his actions near constantly, he knew she would reproduce his guns and they would lead to a whole new form of warfare. but in that moment he was just blinded by grief and way too emotionally burnt out and did not have the capacity to care. and he spends the rest of the campaign and honestly probably the rest of his life trying to make up for that one)

he's also, by his own admission, someone who has a lot of bad thoughts he doesn't act on, he's very clever and creative and ideas for ways to use those skills for violence or vengeance come easily to him (like, percy as an actual villain would be ripley but worse, ripley's intelligent but a very direct point a to point b kind of thinker, percy has multiple times criticised her lack of imagination, a percy with her lack of morals would be terrifying)

(honestly this is why i was seeing percy so much in taliesin's narrative telephone, because "sometimes i wake up having dreamed of a terrible thing, and normally i just file that away for things that i would never do, because i wanna maintain friendships, but then LIAM did something to me." and the whole being absolutely fine with throwing the rest of the cast under the bus just to enact revenge on liam was quintessential percy)

but we’ve seen the pragmatic anti hero everywhere, anyone can be a terrible person, and have reasons for it, that alone doesn’t make an interesting character (at least not for me)

what does, is my last point

4 - trying to be good

i still vividly remember when i first watched campaign one, being really surprised at how much percy asked for help? like, i went in expecting the usual full on demon possession storyline, i expected percy to hide how bad it was, i expected him to make poor decisions without realising he was doing it until he was in too deep to back out

and like, he had some of that. but at the first sign of things being out of his control, he asked his friends for help. he let pike greater restoration him. he told vax to kill him if things ever got too out of hand. he was really, genuinely scared about what he got himself into and what he might do because of it. there was never a point where he pretended, even to himself, that making a deal with orthax was okay. the minute he realised there was a demon involved, he was working to stop it. and yeah, by the time he realised it was already a bit too late, there were already some things out of his control (and also taliesin kept having the worst rolls against the whitestone corruption which was really fun on a meta level), which is how things got as bad as they did. but honestly, all things considered, there’s very little to criticise about the way percy handled himself in the briarwood arc. 

and he keeps doing that, trying to get better. he struggles with it, he struggles a lot, against his anger issues, against all the trauma, against the fact that he really doesn’t want to be here and things would be so much easier if he were dead. but he recognises he holds grudges too easily, so he starts actively trying to forgive those who’ve wronged him (this is something he and vex have in common, and something they were working on together before they were together, which probably helped a lot in getting them to that point as well). he recognises he makes poor decisions when he’s angry, so he starts learning to step back in those moments and leave the decisions to someone else. he has never not owned up to his mistakes, he takes responsibility for everything he’s done, and if he notices a problem he can’t solve himself, he asks for help.

and i find that fun to explore. like, percy’s been likened to hamlet in the actual show, and i was the kid who got super obsessed with hamlet when i was like 15 because i was in that same mental space of suicidal self hatred and existential melancholy but also thinking i was the smartest person in any given room and being too young to have gotten over the arrogance that makes you ignore everyone else’s needs for the sake of indulging your own problems. and then i got older and realised there are smarter ways to go about things, like having empathy and appreciating the light in the world and not being a dickhead to people because it makes you feel better, and maybe hamlet can be justified and in the wrong at the same time. and while there’s some stuff i won’t spoil for you, percy after ripley kills him is definitely starting to learn that, which you rarely see in the hamlet archetype, bc everyone’s like “ah yes so Deep so Important who cares what bad things this person did they had Trauma and are Clever”

well, percy cares about the bad things he did, and cares about not doing those anymore. so like, he’s still a disaster of a person bc he’s like 23 and no one has their life together at 23, especially not someone in percy’s situation, and honestly i find that fun to watch as well bc i like watching characters make stupid mistakes and do stuff i’d never approve of in real life, and as i mentioned at the start, taliesin makes captivating and funny characters. but yeah, that’s generally where percy’s at, most of the time

#would you believe me if i said this was the second shorter attempt at answering this ask? #i honestly tried to pare it down but this hit at least 6 or 7 separate essays in my head that all wanted to be included #and then i had to figure out how to combine them #my brain keeps giving me more things i should add but i think this is enough to be going on with for now 😂 #but hey anyone who likes listening to me talk about percy know i can keep going #this is my word MINIMUM #(and it's still over 2k im so sorry) #but yeah hope this helped! #cr1 #percy de rolo #cr thoughts #text #meta #ask #megabees3

[ashes-and-ashes]

Can write harry coming out to Mr and Mrs Weasley? He feels like they're his family (and they sroat are just without a blood connectiong) and he wants to tell them to show how much he respects and values them as family. I guess in this not a lot of people would know, maybe hermione, ron, and draco just know and he could bring one of them or moral support but he doesnt have to

“You don’t have to do this,” Draco says.

They’re standing outside of the Burrow, the sky grey and the rain pouring. The wind was fierce, leaves and branches whipping everywhere and Harry thinks the sky looks like it’s falling.

He tells himself he’s just being stupid. He is, isn’t he? It’s not even his real family that he’s coming out to and yet he’s terrified beyond belief, shaking so hard he thinks he might fall over.

There are hands on his shoulder suddenly, strong and warm and Harry almost gasps at the sensation. Draco looks beautiful in this light, light up by the wind and rain and the clouds and Harry thinks I can do this.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out.

“Don’t be. It’s natural. You’re nervous.”

“I won’t even be taking the brunt of it. You will be.”

Draco just smiles, something surprisingly sweet considering the lions den he was about to walk into. “If it means keeping you happy, I’ll be okay.”

Harry takes a deep breath. The air smells like rain, that clean scent after a storm, all the dust washed away. He holds it, feeling his lungs burn, releasing all his air in one long hiss.

“Last chance,” Draco says.

Harry pushes the door open.

There’s something cooking - he can tell instantly by the scent of frying onions, the clatter of pots against the stove. The Burrow looks like it always did - piles of clothes and stained chairs and threadbare rugs. Harry quickly slides a glance over to Draco, knowing how difference this shabbiness must be, compared to the harsh elegance of the manor. Draco’s face was calm though, examining the house with an open glance, not a hint of judgment on his features.

He really had changed, Harry thinks. Years of indoctrination was hard to reverse and yet Draco has done it anyways, become a better person all in the space of the war.

“You okay?” he breathes. Draco gives him a shallow nod. “Alright.”

“Harry?” Mrs Weasley’s voice cuts through the clattering of pots and pans. “We’re all in the dining room, you can just head over and bring your lovely lady with you too! I’ll be out in a minute.”

Draco stiffens beside him at the word lady but Harry just leads him to the dining room. He winces at the table, the plates laid out and the candles, heart pounding so hard he thinks he’s going to be sick. “Draco - “

The blood drains from Draco’s face. “Shit,” he breathes.

Harry whirls around just in time to see George’s ashen face, hears the slam of his bedroom door echoing through the house. He grips Draco’s wrist tightly, feeling the bones grind into his hand. Ron shakes his head - he’s sitting in his usual place on the table, tapping the utensils nervously against his plate.

“Bad move, mate,” he says, glancing up the stairs with a concerned look.

“I know.” Harry pulls the chair out, resting his head in his hands with a weary sigh. “I wasn’t thinking - “

“I’m sorry,” Draco says, and Harry hates the way his voice breaks on the words. “This was a mistake - “

Ron shakes his head. “I know you didn’t do it. I know you were a spy. George just...”

Draco bites his lip. “Of course. Easier to blame me. I know the feeling.”

Harry stares at his plate, heart breaking. 4 months later and the War still hadn’t finished, still hadn’t ended, not for him. He takes a sip of water, ignoring the acrid taste in his mouth. “Where’s everyone else?”

Ron counts off on his fingers. “Bill’s at work and Charlie’s still in Romania. Percy’s still distraught - hasn’t left his house in ages. And Ginny’s at school. I don’t know. Just thought with what you’re going to tell mum...”

“Probably a good idea.”

“Yeah.” Ron shrugs. “Dad should be coming soon though.”

“Do you think - “

The sound of shattering glass startles him. Harry jerks, Mrs Weasley’s pale face suddenly appearing in the doorway. “What - What is he doing here?”

Draco flinches. “Mrs Weasley - “

“Get out.”

“Mum!” Ron says hotly, “You don’t understand - “

“Get out!”

He’s never seen Mrs Weasley like this, her face pale and her cheeks red, shaking like a leaf in a strong wind. He could see Draco closing off though with every shouted word, his face slowly becoming blank. Only Harry could feel the clench of his fingers around Harry’s wrist, biting into the flesh hard enough to bruise.

“Mrs Weasley,” Draco starts, voice thin and cracked. “I am so, so sorry - “

“Sorry doesn’t bring my son back!”

The room explodes. Draco flinches back, his eyes becoming shuttered. Harry is shaking, with anger or fear he didn’t know as Ron yells, “He didn’t do it mum!”

“Spy,” Mrs Weasley says, her voice dripping with scorn. “I still see the Dark Mark, traitor. You killed - you killed my - “

“I’m dating him,” Harry says flatly.

The room goes silent. Mrs Weasley turns red-rimmed eyes to Harry.

“You?”

Harry takes a deep breath. “Yes.”

“But...” Mrs Weasley stutters. “The girl?”

“There was no girl. It’s just Draco.”

“Harry.” It’s the voice in everyone of his nightmares, full of disappointment and shame. “Harry, honestly. Malfoy?”

He grits his teeth. The speech comes to the tip of his tongue, memorized so long ago. “I’m certain that my parents wouldn’t have minded, seeing as their best friends were gay. Besides, I love him and - “

“My brother was gay,” Mrs Weasley cuts in coldly. “That’s not what I have a problem with.”

Harry closes his eyes. “If it’s Draco - “

“Of course it is. That boy is a murderer.”

Draco’s voice is strangled when he speaks. “No.” he says. “I’m not.”

Mrs Weasley gestured to the Mark on his arm. “You - to even try and deny it - “

“Mum,” Ron says. “I told you already.”

“What?” Mrs Weasley scoffs. “That he was a spy?”

“Yes.” Harry holds her gaze. “Please. You’re my - you’re my family. Just...let us stay for dinner. Let us convince you. He’s changed, I promise.”

The moment stretches, inpossibly charged; the sadness on Draco’s face and the grief on Mrs Weasley, the floor glittering with shards of broken glass. He watches as Mrs Weasley draws herself up, her face etched with misery.

“Fine,” she says and storms off. “He can stay.”

The smallest smile breaks on Draco’s face.

#very crappy oops #drarry #draco malfoy #harry potter #ron weasley #harry potter x draco malfoy #draco malfoy x harry potter #mrs weasley #molly weasley #george weasley

[ashesonthefloor]

get to know me :) <3

This sexy lil binch is going under a cut. feel free to Perceive. thank u to maddie for tagging me! ilysm <3 @mikeycliffords 

tags are at the bottom :)

name/nickname: my name is Ainslee! I don’t really have a nickname, I don’t think? feel free to come up with one, though

gender: hee hee :)

star sign: Gemini <3

height: 5′7 :) 5′8 w my docs on tho

time: 10:46 PM

birthday: June 10th

favourite bands: My Chemical Romance, 5SOS, BONES UK. there are a lot more that I like but favourite usually means knowing everything they’ve put out so I feel morally like I can’t include them

favourite solo artists: YUNGBLUD, AshNikko, grandson, Ashton Irwin (I guess?). lots more I like but same dealio as above.

song stuck in my head: none atm since I’m listening to music. but I’ve had the Hound Dog cover by Elvis Presley stuck in my head for WEEKS because of my history of rock class

last movie: Taxi Driver. it’s a cult classic I guess but I’d never heard of it. it was terrible anyway. I find that most cult classics are not the greatest, but they paved the way, uno?

last show: Bob’s Burgers <3 w my family

when did i make this blog: this one? uhhh....fuckin’ hell, like April or May of 2020? but I’ve been on tumblr since like 2015/2016

what i post: fics, moodboards, edits, lyric edits, weird stuff I think of. what I want to, basically :)

the last thing i googled: gonna b honest, probably no idea because I search on incognito for pretty much everything. but I actually just checked and I Know what it was. it was about amazon prime (coming for u b*zos.......)

other blogs: I’ve got......several.......but I don’t really give out their URLs much. who knows tho, maybe u will bump into me in another fandom :) though I am not very active on those ngl

do i get asks: sometimes, yeah! and I love ‘em

why i chose this url: ngl bc I thought it was a sexy as hell url. think it suits my vibes somewhat

following: 88 :) I don’t like my dash being so full I can’t keep up...so I’ll stalk people sometimes

followers: [redacted]

average hours of sleep: either, like, 6 or 12, no in between. insomnia n chronic illness rights <3 I aim for 12 though

lucky number: 13

instruments: the flute and the piccolo! I was in band for eight years. if this means what I can play, at least? 

what am i wearing right now: haha tumblr ;))) r u hitting on me......I’m wearing pajamas, actually. a grey shirt from when I worked with kids, specifically

dream trip: uhhhh.....anywhere? I want to see London, and I’ve got friends in England, so. I’ve been to Japan but going back would be nice. maybe Sydney? but I think I’d melt

favourite foods: probably like....a good cheeseburger. or pasta. loml <3

nationality: unfortunately American. go on, just call me Mrs. All American :)

favourite song: this is just cruel how am I supposed to choose ONE! I don’t have just one EVER! I’ll go with uhhh Cemetery Drive by MCR, superdeadfriends by YUNGBLUD, and Die a Little by YUNGBLUD just because I’ve listened to them a fuck ton lately. don’t think they’re like my favourite favourites, though

last book i read: probably a textbook ngl. I cannot remember before that, I’ve been burned out for so long I haven’t had the energy to read. but one I really loved from like....a year and a half ago, when I had a sliver of energy, was the Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. it rips you up and pieces you back together but u are Never The Same

top three fictional universes: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and Marvel. lemme be Spider-Man babey!

favourite colour: pink <3 and silver

I will tag hmmm @clumsyclifford @calumsyellowhummer and @valiantnerdtm !! if you’ve already done it whoopsie, I know I’m always so late to these

#ask games #about me #Ainslee speaks

[ichorhalf]

                   ❛                        wipe    the    𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅    off    your    hands    ,    little    owl    –    it    doesn’t    matter    .    you’re    still    a    𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐫    .    ❜

❝    you’re    hardly    innocent    yourself    ,    𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓    –    godhood    looks    cruel    on    you    ;    if    i    had    to    do    it    again    ,    𝐢    𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭    𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞    𝐚    𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠    .    ❞

                                         𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭  ,  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬  ,  𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

                   excuse  the  dramatics  ,  but  hello  !  i’m  cc  ,  can’t  read  ,  can’t  write  BUT  i  will  be  dramatic  about  it  nonetheless  .  i  am  SO  excited  for  this  ,  i  am  the  biggest  pjo  fan  in  the  world  &  i  love  pjo  rps  sm  i  have  been  blessed  by  the  gods  ,  paige  &  dani  with  this  .  dana  is  a  very  old  muse  i  used  to  have  &  recently  re  fell  in  love  w  ,  so  here  she  is  .  tidbits  before  diving  in  :  she  fought  for  kronos  &  the  titans  in  the  war  ,  she’s  a  daughter  of  athena  that  spent  five  years  unclaimed  in  the  hermes  cabin  &  she  is  for  the  new  cabins  –  it’s  what  she  was  fighting  for  anyway  .  if  you’d  like  to  plot  PLS  like  this  &  i’ll  come  to  u  ,  uwu  .  p.s  this  is  long  for  no  reason  PLS  come  to  me  if  u  want  a  tl;dr  .

〔  JEON    HEEJIN,  TWENTY,  CIS    FEMALE,  TELUMKINESIS  〕╰    DANA    AHN    just    came    over    half  -  blood    hill  .    you    know  ,    the    child    of    ATHENA    who    was    claimed    four    years    ago  ?  i’ve    heard    chiron    say    that    she    is    INSTINCTUAL    &    COGENT  ,    but    if    you    ask    the    aphrodite    kids  ,    they’d    say    they’re    DISPARAGING    &    GLACIAL  .    i’d    say    they    remind    me    of    quiet    grief    spent    in    lonely    hours    –    invalidated    by    people    she    swears    never    cared    for    her    ,    watching    a    new    constellation    form    with    crystalline    tears    in    exhausted    eyes    ,    a    lethal    slice    of    celestial    bronze    ;    it    brands    her    a    traitor    &    pile    of    painted    beads    crushed    underfoot    when    loyalties    are    chosen    ,    especially    since    they’re    FOR  THE  NEW  CABINS  .

❛   𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗   𝖔𝖓𝖊   ╱  𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭  

inspiration

         ❛  you’re  a  monster  .  ❜   ❝            better  a  monster  ,  than  an  arrogant  god  .  ❞

ethan  nakamura  (  percy  jackson  &  the  olympians  )  ,  ❛  one  of  my  sons  recently  traded  an  eye  for  the  ability  to  make  a  real  difference  in  the  world.  ❜  

❝          no  one  made  me   ,  i  made  me  –  so  give  me  a  bitter  glory  .  ❞

cato  (  the  hunger  games  )  ,  ❛  go  on  .  i’m  dead  anyway.  i  always  was,  right  ?  i  didn’t  know  that  till  now  .  ❜  

❝          am  i  the  villain  in  your  story  ,  when  i  was  always  the  hero  in  mine  ?  ❞

erik  killmonger  (  black  panther  )  ,  ❛  the  world  took  everything  away  from  me  !  everything  i  ever  loved  !  ❜  

full  name  .  ahn  ji  su  /  dana  ahn  nickname(s)  /  aliases  .  dane  ,  traitor    age  .  twenty  gender  /  pronouns  .  cis  gendered  female  ,  she  /  her  orientation  .  demisexual  ,  panromantic  hometown  .  boston  ,  massachusetts  faceclaim  .  jeon  heejin

aesthetic  .  a  walking  plethora  of  bad  decisions  made  by  a  rotting  heart  ,  remnants  of  red  rimmed  eyes  after  losing  so  much  more  than  others  in  the  war  ,  the  quiet  ,  ominous  static  electricity  before  a  lightning  strike  ,  watching  a  new  constellation  form  with  crystalline  tears  in  her  exhausted  eyes  ,  a  lethal  slice  of  celestial  bronze  ;  it  brands  her  a  traitor  ,  shouting  commands  over  the  sounds  of  her  kind  dying  at  her  feet  &  a  pile  of  painted  beads  crushed  underfoot  when  loyalties  are  chosen  .

label  .  the  premonition  ,  the  potentate  ,  the  traitorous  moral  alignments  .  chaotic  good  /  chaotic  neutral  ( + )  positives  .  strategic  ,  instinctual  ,  cogent  ,  potent  (  -  )  negatives  .  fustian  ,  disparaging  ,  glacial  ,  acerbic  hogwarts  house  .  gryffindor  godly  parent  .  athena  deadly  sin  .  pride  fatal  flaw  .  holding  grudges

❛   𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗   𝖙𝖜𝖔   ╱  𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞  

TRIGGER  WARNING  :  death  ,  murder  ,  injury  description

              𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫  𝐢  .  her  mother  ,  a  goddess  in  her  own  right  ;  ahn  soo  ah  joins  the  navy  as  kennedy  ahn  .  bright  eyed  &  wise  beyond  her  years  ,  she  graduates  from  the  united  states  naval  academy  with  notable  achievements  under  her  belt  .  she  is  astute  ,  a  walking  resource  that  the  navy  uses  as  a  strategist  –  one  of  the  brightest  minds  of  her  generation  ,  gone  unknown  as  she  helps  the  military  create  top  secret  missions  .  war  written  &  loved  ,  kennedy  has  an  affinity  for  battle  –  she  attracts  many  people  that  she  knows  are  more  than  human  .  but  they  search  for  romance  ,  they  ask  for  her  love  when  kennedy  has  never  sought  after  it  –  romance  comes  slow  to  her  ,  it’s  a  process  &  the  only  person  to  get  that  is  a  grey  -  eyed  liaison  named  dana  astbury  .  she  arrives  in  a  swirl  of  intuitiveness  &  intelligent  that’s  incredibly  attractive  –  but  their  connection  isn’t  one  based  on  romance  .  the  way  their  minds  bond  is  unlike  anything  kennedy  has  ever  felt  before  –  she’s  eager  to  work  with  her  for  the  short  time  ;  together  they  create  the  perfect  brain  child  .  two  months  after  astbury’s  departure  ,  a  golden  bassinet  appears  with  a  baby  girl  wrapped  in  silk  –  the  product  of  two  of  the  wisest  minds  ,  a  mix  of  godhood  &  mortality  .  kennedy  doesn’t  know  who  the  goddess  really  is  ,  but  she  knows  the  baby  is  hers  .

              she  grows  as  ji  su  ,  americanized  as  dana  –  the  smartest  woman  kennedy  has  ever  gotten  to  meet  &  dana  grows  up  loved  .  what  the  gods  lack  in  familial  love  ,  mankind  makes  up  for  it  ;  ji  su  ,  as  called  by  only  her  mom  ,  grows  into  a  remarkable  child  .  grey  eyes  that  look  like  they  belong  to  a  middle  aged  woman  ,  a  mind  that  knows  too  much  for  someone  so  young  –  they  see  everything  .  the  horns  hidden  the  mailman’s  hair  ,  the  one  eyed  man  giving  her  a  kind  smile  when  she  hands  him  a  daisy  ,  the  winged  creatures  flying  over  her  mom’s  new  job  ;  dana  holds  enough  wisdom  to  make  a  god  stop  .  kennedy  loves  her  more  than  herself  ,  waters  her  with  knowledge  &  sunshine  to  raise  her  as  an  extraordinary  human  being  .  dana  never  knows  life  without  love  until  she  returns  home  from  an  after  school  club  just  in  time  to  see  a  creature  hold  a  sword  of  celestial  bronze  through  her  mom  .  ten  years  old  ,  witnessing  her  a  woman  with  one  goat  leg  &  one  metal  leg  kill  kennedy  –  on  the  basis  that  kennedy  knew  something  about  olympus  .  she  didn’t  ,  but  she  paid  the  price  anyway  &  dana  runs  after  the  creature  ,  intent  on  getting  revenge  .

             𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫  𝐢𝐢  .  labelled  officially  as  a  missing  person  ,  it’s  a  lot  harder  than  she  thinks  to  survive  without  getting  caught  .  but  dana  has  always  been  smart  ,  she  is  sharp  ,  witty  &  quick  on  her  feet  .  it  takes  only  DAYS  for  her  to  find  the  creature  –  an  empousa  ,  learned  from  research  &  any  other  monster  that’ll  help  her  .  the  monsters  on  the  streets  are  kind  to  her  ,  they  spot  a  helpless  demigod  with  a  dirt  caked  face  &  dana  doesn’t  know  it  ,  but  it’s  the  most  kindness  she’ll  experience  for  years  .  a  month  later  ,  the  celestial  sword  taken  from  the  empousa  hangs  on  her  hip  –  along  with  a  lessoned  learned  ;  vengeance  &  revenge  don’t  feel  as  good  as  she  thought  it  would  .  the  monster’s  dead  ,  but  so  is  her  mom  .  a  prayer  sent  to  gods  of  every  pantheon  –  greek  ,  roman  ,  egyptian  ,  norse  ;  she  asks  for  help  ,  for  a  blessing  because  she  knows  they’re  real  &  if  they’re  real  ,  wouldn’t  they  help  a  child  ?  NO  ANSWER  .  it  takes  another  month  before  she  stumbles  past  the  borders  of  camp  half  blood  ,  bloodied  &  bruised  .  it’s  chiron  who  shows  her  around  ,  places  her  in  the  hermes  cabin  with  other  greek  demigods  like  her  .  some  have  lesser  gods  as  parents  ,  some  –  like  her  –  are  unclaimed  .  the  game  ,  to  figure  out  which  god  is  her  parent  ,  which  god  has  deemed  her  unworthy  to  sit  alone  in  the  hermes  cabin  .  everyone  knows  –  even  she  does  ,  the  eyes  are  a  dead  giveaway  .

              but  the  claim  doesn’t  come  &  what’s  supposed  to  be  home  quickly  turns  into  a  prison  .  she  wastes  away  alongside  the  bitter  ,  she  barely  gets  to  go  on  quests  (  on  the  basis  that  upon  completion  ,  she’ll  be  claimed  –  mr  .  d  tells  her  to  shove  it  ,  chiron  agrees  with  her  )  only  to  return  empty  handed  with  one  less  companion  .  scar  after  scar  ,  death  after  death  ,  she  turns  to  the  gods  empty  handed  ,  rid  of  the  offerings  she  used  to  make  .  a  CURSE  upon  athena  ,  a  CURSE  on  all  the  gods  who  sit  by  &  watch  their  children  fight  THEIR  battles  .  demigods  ,  their  children  ,  born  to  be  pawns  for  the  divine  –  to  fight  enemies  their  parents  made  for  them  ,  to  DIE  so  the  olympians  don’t  have  to  .  resentment  in  her  core  ,  she  falls  into  ranks  with  the  blond  boy  in  cabin  eleven  .  luke  castellan  ,  the  one  who  whispers  with  the  sleeping  one  ,  the  scarred  boy  who  promises  her  glory  &  change  .  the  gods  need  a  wake  up  call  ,  who  better  to  give  it  than  their  children  ?  she  leaves  the  summer  after  the  son  of  poseidon  arrives  –  keeps  a  hand  on  luke’s  shoulder  with  a  promise  of  changing  the  way  the  gods  treat  their  children  .

              𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫  𝐢𝐢𝐢  .  a  year  spent  with  a  rising  army  before  luke  asks  her  to  go  back  .  thalia’s  tree  is  dying  ,  an  inside  man  or  two  never  hurt  anybody  .  a  little  bit  stronger  ,  a  little  bit  more  trained  ,  she  arrives  at  the  same  place  she  had  stumbled  into  five  years  prior  –  four  years  stuck  in  the  hermes  camp  ,  one  spent  on  the  run  with  a  boy  king  .  almost  immediately  upon  her  arrival  ,  a  blessing  is  sent  from  athena  –  some  call  it  a  welcome  back  ,  but  dana  is  smart  enough  to  know  the  true  reasoning  behind  her  claim  .  the  gods  are  scared  ,  athena  herself  knows  of  dana’s  potential  &  the  claim  is  an  attempt  at  appeasing  her  but  dana  is  far  too  gone  .  it’s  not  enough  ,  she  leaves  when  the  golden  fleece  is  brought  back  .  one  of  many  demigods  to  go  missing  ,  she  finds  solace  on  board  the  princess  andromeda  .  the  monsters  here  have  shown  her  more  kindness  &  familial  love  than  the  gods  ever  have  .  under  luke’s  instruction  ,  she  grows  into  a  formidable  opponent  –  boasting  extraordinary  skill  with  any  weapon  she  chooses  .  she  grows  closer  to  the  commander  as  well  ,  shares  his  troubles  from  a  distance  while  she  keeps  her  head  down  .  dana  pledges  herself  to  his  cause  ,  pledges  to  stand  by  himself  through  all  of  it  &  mourns  luke  when  kronos  arrives  in  his  place  .  blue  eyes  turn  to  gold  ,  dana  goes  from  warrior  to  sword  .

              chosen  by  kronos  himself  ,  she  spends  an  unprecedented  amount  of  time  with  the  titan  –  often  out  of  sight  from  other  demigods  .  he  freezes  time  for  them  (  like  he  does  every  demigod  he  chooses  to  twist  )  ,  fractions  of  the  care  she’s  always  searched  for  shining  through  the  cracks  ;  she  learns  a  different  way  of  fighting  ,  a  different  way  of  feeling  ,  of  thinking  .  dana  learns  from  the  best  a  titan   reminding  her  of  her  worth  .  wrapped  in  resentment  &  the  blessing  of  a  titan  ,  respect  turns  to  admiration  to  a  twisted  psyche  before  she’s  gearing  up  for  the  battle  of  the  labyrinth  with  a  sour  reminder  –  the  gods  never  cared  ,  he  did  .  with  her  features  hidden  behind  a  helmet  made  of  GOLD  ,  she  proves  her  prowess  erupting  from  the  labyrinth  ,  striking  down  demigods  &  the  family  that  never  cared  for  her  .  after  an  untimely  defeat  ,  one  more  year  is  spent  preparing  .  underneath  his  instruction  ,  dana  continues  to  grow  into  a  weapon  at  his  disposal  &  she’s  blind  to  the  obvious  fact  –  he  never  loved  her  ,  she’s  simply  a  tool  for  them  to  use  .  blindly  naive  ,  she  continues  to  launch  herself  into  battle  ,  lay  her  life  down  in  hopes  of  waking  the  gods  up  .  she  ascends  to  her  peak  ,  unaware  that  everyone  is  waiting  for  her  to  come  crashing  down  .

              𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫  𝐢𝐯  .  charged  with  her  own  command  in  the  battle  for  manhattan  ,  monsters  &  demigods  alike  listen  to  her  orders  .  demigods  of  her  own  kind  fall  under  her  sword  &  she  doesn’t  know  it  ,  but  dana  is  only  one  of  many  chosen  champions  –  one  small  member  of  a  small  class  .  they’re  all  tools  at  his  disposal  &  he’s  manipulated  them  all  in  their  own  ways  ;  to  the  other  demigod  commander  slain  by  an  arrow  ,  he  promised  glory  .  to  the  other  commander  who  charges  the  hunters  of  artemis  ,  he  promised  revenge  .  to  dana  ,  struck  down  by  a  celestial  bronze  sword  ,  he  promised  love  .  they  all  have  their  titles  gifted  to  them  ,  unbeknownst  that  NOBODY  takes  them  seriously  .  demigods  ,  they’re  pawns  in  kronos’s  game  .  it  isn’t  her  first  time  being  injured  in  battle  ,  often  times  she  returns  to  him  &  lets  him  take  back  the  injury  ,  watches  her  cuts  close  up  underneath  his  power  –  but  this  time  ;  hubris  mixes  with  wrath  &  she  lets  her  guard  down  .  her  hands  around  her  neck  &  blood  pours  from  a  deep  cut  that  silences  her  ,  stranger’s  hands  wrap  around  her  armor  straps  as  she’s  pulled  into  safety  ,  holding  back  blood  with  pale  fingers  .  she  chokes  on  her  own  blood  while  her  life  is  begged  for  ,  she’s  close  to  the  underworld  when  she’s  healed  by  people  she  swears  never  cared  for  her  .  her  survival  is  a  travesty  –  to  both  her  &  camp  half  blood  alike  ;  apollo  himself  tries  to  heal  her  fully  ,  but  in  punishment  he  lets  her  suffer  .  twenty  years  old  ,  her  throat  slit  in  retribution  for  her  actions  .

              after  the  war  ,  a  month  spent  recovering  as  she  radiates  like  a  beacon  of  disappointment  .  grief  ,  for  the  titan  &  his  host  –  mixed  with  resentment  &  distrust  .  they’re  split  on  whether  she  should  stay  –  she  chose  the  opposite  side  until  her  dying  breath  ,  the  demigods  that  saved  her  can  still  account  for  the  blood  flung  from  her  mouth  while  she  tried  to  curse  them  .  so  she  keeps  her  distance  ,  but  she  stays  because  she  has  nowhere  else  to  go  –  no  degree  ,  no  identification  ,  not  direction  .  in  the  rivalry  ,  she  keeps  her  mouth  shut  but  she  stands  with  the  cabins  –  it’s  everything  she  fought  for  ,  it’s  all  the  forgotten  wanted  &  she’ll  gladly  go  to  war  for  it  again  .  but  ,  she’s  changed  –  the  image  of  a  lethal  opponent  turned  to  crestfallen  girl  .  she  doesn’t  talk  much  anymore  ,  she  doesn’t  use  her  ability  for  much  ,  doesn’t  train  ,  doesn’t  fight  .  most  often  found  with  a  couple  of  scared  satyrs  while  she  spends  the  day  at  arts  &  crafts  .  but  though  quiet  ,  she  still  harbors  unimaginable  HATRED  for  the  gods  –  she’ll  never  love  or  respect  them  the  way  they  want  her  to  .  they  want  her  to  shed  her  title  of  traitor  but  refuse  to  call  her  the  sword  of  kronos  ,  they  want  her  to  beg  for  a  new  title  at  their  feet  ;  dana  will  never  beg  them  for  anything  .

❛   𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗   𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊   ╱  𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

exterior  .  an  outlier  in  camp  ,  dana  pretty  much  spent  more  time  with  the  titans  than  she  did  at  camp  half  blood  .  a  faint  scar  on  her  neck  ,  she  wears  it  like  a  brand  burned  onto  her  skin  .  despite  the  power  that  she  displays  (  a  gift  of  telumkinesis  ,  along  with  skill  &  prowess  learned  by  both  kronos  &  luke  himself  )   ,  she  doesn’t  use  her  power  for  much  these  days  .  cogent  ,  she’s  good  with  her  words  &  swaying  people  onto  her  side  –  which  she  used  a  lot  more  during  the  war  ,  since  these  days  she  mostly  keeps  her  mouth  shut  .  

a  beacon  of  pessimistic  energy  ,  dana  still  isn’t  shy  about  her  dislike  for  the  gods  .  she  says  often  ,  that  if  she  had  to  do  it  all  again  ,  she  wouldn’t  change  a  thing  .  the  gods  continue  to  disappoint  her  ,  continue  to  wrong  her  &  do  everything  in  the  crudest  of  ways  ,  so  dana  continues  to  be  a  blasphemous  follower  in  the  camp  .  she’s  still  here  simply  because  she  has  nowhere  else  to  go  –  no  degree  ,  no  schooling  ,  nothing  to  give  her  a  way  out  –  dana’s  technically  still  a  missing  person anyway  ;  so  until  she  figures  out  a  permanent  way  to  leave  ,  she’s  stuck  .

interior  .  she  almost  misses  kronos  –  at  this  point  ,  she  can  see  that  he  was  the  greatest  manipulator  of  all  but  she  really  felt  so  loved  underneath  him  .  he  saw  her  for  her  ,  molded  her  into  an  outstanding  warrior  &  dana  owes  him  EVERYTHING  .  but  she  understands  now  how  bad  he  is  ,  how  much  chaos  could’ve  been  unleashed  had  he  won  ,  but  it  doesn’t  erase  the  twisted  care  she  still  holds  for  luke  or  the  quiet  idolization  that  still  lingers  for  kronos  .  she  held  a  title  in  the  titan  army  &  it  still  makes  her  see  red  when  she  thinks  about  how  she  went  from  the  sword  of  kronos  to  traitor  in  the  blink  of  an  eye  .

honed  with   pessimism  ,  dana  is  still  incredibly  intelligent  ,  incredibly  potent  but  she  spends  a  lot  of  time  alone  .  she  prefers  the  isolation  in  contrast  to  spending  time  with  her  siblings  or  any  other  demigod  ;  festers  alone  in  very  toxic  thoughts  about  ‘  hm  shoulda  died  hate  it  here  ’  vibes  .  a  lot  of  regret  ,  a  lot  of  very  twisted  thoughts  having  grown  up  with  the  Worst  Villain  Ever  pretty  much  raising  her  .

midway  .  an  entirely  too  gifted  demigod  ,  completely  wasted  on  the  bad  guys  .  in  a  theoretical  letter  from  athena  ,  dana’s  godly  mother  expresses  her  disappointment  that  she  created  such  a  potent  warrior  just  to  watch  her  fight  for  the  wrong  side  .  determined  to  give  up  her  powers  ,  she  was  only  recently  informed  she  HAD  telumkinesis  .  convinced  she  had  been  trained  by  a  titan  himself  &  that’s  where  her  weaponry  mastery  stemmed  from  ,  she’s  learned  that  it  all  stems  from  a  power  .

still  ,  she  has  room  to  grow  ;  in  her  dreams  sent  by  the  goddess  herself  ,  she’s  been  told  that  should  she  want  a  new  title  ,  she  would  have t o  earn  it  –  but  does  she  want  it  ?  does  she  want  to  use  her  power  to  fight  for  the  gods  that  have  only  ever  seen  her  as  a  weapon  ?  dana  doesn’t  know  ,  she  frankly  doesn’t  care  enough  right  now  .

❛   𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗   𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗   ╱  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

as  usual  ,  this  got  way  too  fuckin  long  &  i’m  so  sorry  but  dana’s  an  old  &  complicated  muse  .  tl;dr  ,  fought  w  the  titans  ,  kronos  trained  her  personally  (  &  manipulated  her  ,  mayb  there  was  a  lil  sumn  sumn  but  she’s  ,  in  my  opinion  ,  dumb  &  didn’t  realize  she  was  bein  played  )  ,  she  almost  fuckin  died  &  was  saved  by  the  people  she  was  fighting  even  though  she  herself  killed  numerous  demigods  &  now  is  a  quiet  ,  pessimistic  loner  .  hee  hee  ,  all  her  connections  are  here  ,  all  her  wanted  connects  are  here  .  if  u  read  this  all  i  guess  i  owe  you  my  life  ! 

#ambrosia:intro #* ◟ . 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒂 𝒂. ─ 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 ╱ development #[ blows a kiss to south korea ] for loona

[encrucijada]

💌💌

so @theladydurin, @chaoticdecember and i have this rpg about Percy Jackson and the Olympians where all our characters are part of the Titan Army and, take my word for it, their dynamic is really good. Soft’s (theladydurin) character is a daughter of Demeter, Fluffy’s (chaoticdecember) is a son of Hypnos and i have a daughter of the muse Urania. sadly, because as much as i want to i don’t own the rights to PJO i resorted to taking our characters and their dynamic with resident morally grey antagonist Luke Castellan and create a story around it.

i don’t have a title yet but it is about fairy tales in a modern setting and the characters take the roles of the “villains” inside those fairy tales. i also don’t know if the character names are going to stay the same but for now we have: 

Piedad Naraváez, daughter of Urania in the rpg, who now has the role of the Big Bad Wolf but mixed with Little Red Riding Hood herself as an origin story. she was attacked by the previous Big Bad Wolf which was then killed by the hunter/woodcutter of the story, but because the Big Bad Wolf bit her Piedad she turned into a basically werewolf. i would like to see part of her story to look cyclical and she ends up killing the next Little Red Riding Hood one full moon.

Hudson Moretti, son of Hypnos and Fluffy’s character, who takes part of the Sleeping Beauty story because it’s thematically appropriate. the way Hudson’s story works is that he was cursed by a fae (see: Maleficent) to fall into a deadly sleep on his 16th birthday unless he passed the curse onto someone else... which he did and that girl is the Princess Aurora character. the fae didn’t lay off and continued putting the curse on Hudson over and over again so he’s going around doing this fae’s dirty work of putting people in deep sleep.

i still don’t know what Ericka Mulligan’s, daughter of Demeter and Soft’s character, villain role would be. i suggested the Evil Queen, with the poisoned apple but i’ll wait for Soft to get back to me on that.

Luke Castellan, y’all should know him he’s the son of Hermes and main antagonist in PJO and whose name will definitely change for the book, well now he’s Rumpelstiltskin. he’s cursed with no aging and is a wizard who can spin gold, instead of a fae-like character like in the fairy tale. he helped this young woman marry a man and what did he get as thank you? well. the man the woman married turned the girl Luke loved (*cough* Thalia *cough*) into a swan so now he’s out for blood

the book is probably going to be written with multiple povs??? these messy young adults totally live together in an apartment and it is a Mess. Hudson is always tired because the evil fae contacts him in his dreams (because the evil fae has a brand to uphold) so he abuses caffeine A Lot. Piedad is a fine arts student and she does ballet, and her shoes are red as a nod to the fairy tale Red Shoes. Ericka is stuck in an unrequited pining plot so things get Spicy. i also plan on using the Diamonds and Toads fairy tale.

#answered #( wip ) fairy tales #thank youuu 💞

[vohalika]

hello, this is random but.. could u please tell me some of your fav things about vex? i don't often see people who Really Like Vex and we need more of that

Well, well, well, anon.

I have literally no idea how long it has been since you asked this of me, but rest assured I have not forgotten! Well, okay, I had for a while, then I saw it again and was like “oh, right, huh… And would you look at that, I’m about 100 posts away from 100,000… Wouldn’t that be a good one…”

So. Here we are! An unstructured rambling of all the reasons I really, really love Vex, somewhere between superficial and embarrasingly personal, to celebrate this arbitrary number of things I have spread around on this hell site.

Okay, first of all, the only thing Laura had to say to Kit Buss for the official art was “make her hot”. That is a Statement. And boy did Kit and also everyone deliver on that.

Like seriously. I didn’t use to be a fan of feathers in hair or white armor, but good god does she make it work.

Hey, I said this was going to be extremely superficial

Another thing I really didn’t use to like, twins. Overdone and usually poorly executed. But our girl made a Point out of being as different from her twin as she could be while at the same time being completely believable siblings.

I swear to god I’ll do my absolute best to mention Vax as little as possible. This is not about him.

Third thing I really couldn’t stand! The one, usually female, team member with a pet! Closely related to the one with the nature powers! I don’t know, these just always rubbed me the wrong way in media before, probably because I also never really cared for shows or movies about animals. Fight me.

And yet here she is, and she is not the “won’t somebody think of the children animals!” type of gal and Trinket is amazing and it still ties into her personality on a larger scale without being preachy.

I have a fourth thing. I also really don’t care for elves, ever. Everybody hates them. And then she turns around and makes me cry about the elf thing. Good god.

Yes, watching the first episode way back when was an uphill battle. There’s a reason I started with episode 69 and then watched the rest.

Nice.

Vex has the best worst sense of humor. No, really. I’m not even talking about that time she made a comment about the boy with the shot off fingers not having much of a future as a musician. But I’m also talking about that. And that time Scanlan tried having a meaningful monologue about having a daughter now. “I’ve defined most of my life by the people I slept with, and now…” - “Well, technically, this is still kinda defined by that.”

(Shoutout to Percy “I was just thinking that”)

Also, “We don’t do anything with dignity”, “I only serve gods with big dicks”, “You might live forever, but you will still be fucking ugly”? Girl is iconic, even if her sense if humor is usually pretty inappropriate for the given situation, she just can’t help it. I relate.

On a related note, it is so easy to play a similar archetype and have her just be this always dignified and above the humor kind of stuck-up. It’s basically how most people would have written her (and a certain someone did). But not our girl, oh no.

Also, I recently made a post about this, but we really, really don’t talk enough about how she’s just the leader of the party. She is. No, really, lower your bitch sticks, y’all. She’s the one to talk to the most NPCs, she’s the one to usually say go, and everyone just naturally adheres to her. It’s never forced, it’s never an “I, as the leader” moment, and she doesn’t try to wrestle her way into the role. It’s just what happens naturally.

Which also means she’s good at stepping back and letting other people shine for a bit. But still, Vex is the reason they didn’t just flounder around like a chicken without its head after Scanlan left. Laura was late to two sessions in campaign one; the first one was already in an extended battle scene, and the other was literally spent in a bedroom in hell waitinig for Vex to tell them what to do.

This is why scholars are generally of the opinion that Vex is the only Top in VM. And also what intellectuals refer to as Big Dick Energy.

Let’s talk about what the assholes call Greed. Yes, Vex is, out of all of them, the most pre-occupied with gold and loot. But she NEVER hoards anything for herself, never spends any of her own gold on herself even until the timeskip, leave alone the party funds.

She looks out for the interests of the group, makes sure they get the best possible deals and are paid what they are owed. And she’s the only one to ever worry about money, too, whereas everyone else never bothers to think about it. Hence why her and Vax split the cost of paying their staff after the party spent all the funds early on.

Look, I find her worries very indicative of growing up in poverty with her mom, than surrounded by rich and important people but locked out of the loop, and then poor and on the road again with Vax. I find it very relatable, and everyone who claims that looking out for the financial well-being of the party is “greedy” is lucky enough to never have had to worry about eating next month while also making rent.

There’s Safety In A Fist Full Of Diamonds, okay?

No really I need y’all to read that and send it to the annoying bitches who complain.

Vex is literally never stingy when it comes to helping people with the money she made sure they have. Remember how she didn’t even flinch at spending a five digit number to free angel boy slaves?

WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. Vex. Vex has a serious hoarding problem. But not when it comes to money of earthly possessions. No. When it comes to PICKING UP STRAYS.

It’s how she got Trinket.

It’s how she got the angel babies.

It’s what she tries to do with the grey render baby.

It’s what she suggested they do with the dragon eggs in the Raishan fight

(LET! VEX! HAVE! PET! DRAGONS!)

IT HOW SHE GOT HER OWN GODDAMN HUSBAND OKAY.

I have no idea how she hasn’t adopted her own zoo by the time VM forms. Though I can totally see her opening orphanages in Whitestone, both for people and animals and creatures of all kinds, really.

Remember when she was the only one to protest the punching of a spectral ghost cow?

The hardships of her youth made her, yes, very afraid of being out of money, but also made her compassionate as fuck. She’s always down with helping people even if there’s little to no coin in it, okay? Stop overlooking that, assholes.

SPEAKING OF COMPASSION. Remember what her original beef with the Vasselheim potion seller was? That he took advantage of Grog being intellectually challenged. Which is what he did! Blatantly so! And he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it!

I mean, I bet he is by now, but, you know. Karma.

When Laura says Vex just wanted justice and then everyone else escalated that scene she is goddamn right, rewatch your own footage Matthew.

Oh god do I have to talk about broomgate now. I don’t want to talk about broomgate.

OKAY

Broomgate is literally the only time in the entire series that Vex ever takes something for herself. Was it the morally right thing to do? Maybe not. Though to keep in mind that a) Hardwick is a piece of shit, b) they literally met Gern when he had the skeletons of Kiki’s dead civilization dancing for him; Vax shanked Nothics for less, c) and this was hot off the heels of fighting a necromancer in the last big arc, too, d) they were on a mission to kill dragons. That fly. With no method of flying for the majority of the party. Vex always intended to use the broom for that purpose, so you could make the legal argument of commandeering it instead of stealing, and, finally, e) SHE HAD JUST FUCKING DIED

Why do we never talk about that

Other characters get cut all the slack for what they do after just dying

Other characters get cut all the slack when they steal from other guests

Other characters get cut all the slack when they withhold loot for the party

Other characters DIDN’T GET AN ALIGNMENT DROP FOR DOING WORSE SHIT THAN THIS

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT BROOMGATE

WHY WAS BROOMGATE EVER EVEN A THING

okay

okay

MOVING ON

Hey, while we’re at dying. Remember how Vex spent the day after she, literally, died, trying to make sure the person who was to blame for her death was okay? She did that. And Percy was uncomfortable with it, visibly so, but also too guilty to call her out here.

And no one. NO ONE. EVER. Bothered to check in on how she felt after dying.

Vax made it all about the sacrifice he made, Percy felt too guilty, NO ONE ELSE CARED.

And what does she do? Soldier on. Try and cheer Vax up and support him in any way she can.

Honestly, learning the Raven Queen book by heart and then telling him that being the champion of a god is really fucking cool? Relatable. Relatable as fuck. You go girl.

And TO THIS DAY. ACROSS TWO CAMPAIGNS. Vex has been the only one. THE ONLY ONE. To EVER check up on someone after they died. Jester might eventually be the second one, but, you know. I am a big advocate for post-death and just post-big-battle-in-general aftercare cuddle piles or whatever. Someone tell the cast to implement that immediately.

And while we’re at death, let’s talk about THE DARKNESS

There are dark facets to her character. Vex never makes her own issues everyone else’s problem and they go largely unadressed, but they’re there.

Saundor brought up the story about how she got Trinket and had to kill for the first time while doing so.

(Sidenote: Saundor doing more research into her character than an actual writer is extremely telling.)

That was definitely traumatic for a young girl and I don’t mean to dismiss that, but that’s also the part I can understand Vax dismissing when they talk about it later on. They do kill a lot of people after that and this was self-defense, so hey, okay. Fine.

HOWEVER

That short story was indicative of many other things that torment Vex. Mostly her low sense of self-worth.

Like, her entire inner monologue is centered around how stupid she was for getting into this situation in the first place (= for being taken advantage of by criminals at the tender age of probably like 15), and how this would never have happened to Vax, who was away in the city to take care of them.

And we see that low sense of self-worth bleeding into Vex’s character throughout the campaign. That’s part of the reason why she spends the day after her first death making sure everyone else is okay. That’s also part of the reason she blames herself for Scanlan leaving and acts like she’s completely fine when he returns just so he’ll stay.

Honestly that short story is so insightful and explains so much about her, I don’t know how anyone could claim to have any grasp on her character without reading it.

(Also, Laura should write more, she’s talented)

Now a significant part of her self-worth issues obviously also ties back into her time at Syngorn. I can just hear people getting out their tiny violins, oh, waaah, she wasn’t one of the rich, cool kids in elf school, poor her.

But that’s not entirely it?

Like, just that is already plenty to fuck a person up. I’ve been there, too.

But let’s just say the fact that her dad was also cold towards them and acted like they were unworthy is a BIG part of what fucked her up. Call it daddy issues if you feel like being dismissive about a genuinely traumatizing upbringing, but that’s how it is.

And don’t get me wrong, if this were the traumatic childhood olympics, it’s not exactly up there and relatively tame for the background of a character in a fantasy story, but it is very true to life and extremely relatable, and Laura just executes it so well. So, so well.

That’s part of what makes the entire stretch of Feywild episodes so great. From what we see of Vax’s reaction later on, Percy is the only person she ever talked to about this - or at least the only one who ever listened - and he immediately got it. And instead of yelling at her about how amazing she is, he did something to make her feel better about herself. Without making it about himself, by the way.

I enjoy a fake married plotline as much as the next gal, but Percy giving her a title she’d have to earn by her own merits is soooo much more meaningful than just putting a fake ring on her, okay?

Yes, at the end of the day, this is basically a Cinderella fantasy. So what? No, really. One of the best things about Vex and her arc is that it validates feeling upset about not measuring up in superficial, material ways. And it validates getting your come-uppance. These are, as mentioned above, experiences that can really mess with a person, but we’re usually supposed to be above it all because money and titles don’t make you happy.

Also something only people who never struggled financially can say/believe unironically and without specifying.

Hell, that’s about 70% of the reason I’m considering getting a Ph.D. if I happen to get the grades.

I’m also not a big fan of the term daddy issues, but I can’t deny that this is a thing here

not the thing they went into the Feywild for, buuuut

ahem

So. Remember when Laura said during the campaign wrap up that Vex thought of Scanlan as a father figure and everyone was like whaaaaat? And I was like ahahahaha, I knew it.

This is so tragic, really. Because she tried so hard so many times to help Scanlan and be nice to him and he just brushed her off. And then she’s the one who volunteers to spend the night all by herself in some dirty pub far, far away after opening up to his daughter about her own issues to bring him back alive, and then gets yelled at, and never apologized to.

And then he comes back and tries to erase her memory and not only is that never even brought up, she also just doesn’t even think she might be owed an apology because a) she still blames herself for him leaving because, you know, they never really talked out what happened there and b) she’s just too happy for at least that father figure returning to them to make much of a fuss about it, and Percy, bless his heart, TRIES, but it’ll take a few more years of marriage to talk through all of her issues

And like. I am not wild about anything that happens after episode 99. If I’m known for anything in this fandom on this platform it’s probably for that time I was really into the Ioun discourse, which I still stand by, btw. And I personally would have preferred for Vex to maybe get someone like Sehanine as her patron, as fitting as giving her yet another unworthy and disapproving father figure in her life might be

But there is also something somewhat gratifying about everyone talking about how great she is. And she had been sort of working for Pelor before that. Also, the headcanons about her having sun spots or starting to glow when she gets emotional after this are amazing.

So I made my peace with that. She deserves better, but hey, she always does.

She is so smart. So extremely smart. People roll their eyes at her battle plans and say it’s all Travis feeding Laura information, but Travis fed her nothing that time she schmoozed up to the Briarwoods while also making herself appear extremely superficial and unthreatening. Honestly. That dinner scene? Prime Vex. Amazing Vex.

Her battle plans are also so good. Pokeball-ing Grog out of the kill box? Using the Goristro against Vorugal to save the party a trip into the abyss? The only plan of Vox Machina that ever worked out basically perfectly? Amazing. And even IF Travis told Laura these ideas, that means literally nothing in relation to how smart Vex is.

And btw I don’t believe that for a second. People just aren’t good with acknowledging that sometimes, D&D playing women might actually have good ideas.

And she just is so street smart. With her skills, her battle plans, and just her way of handling people. There’s a reason she is the natural leader when it’s not someone’s turn in the spotlight at the time.

Like, the two things holding her back were that her class was extremely underwhelming, so much so that it got completely revamped in the Unearthed Arcana to make up for how bad it was in the PHB, and the fact that she just. Has, what. 1.5 episodes of her own storyline? Even Pike got 2. It’s amazing that I can even say this much about her with how little narrative focus she got throughout the series. And most of what she did was literally due to Percy using his plot clout and putting a foot in the door to force her into the spotlight.

Speaking of which. Percy’s best quality, next to being self-aware of how fucked up he is and actively trying to do better and be kept in check, is how he realizes Vex is the coolest, smartest, most amazing person around and treats her accordingly. The way she deserves to be treated.

Oh hey I mentioned to get this far without even mentioning the romance arc. And oh my god THE ROMANCE ARC. The pining. The slow burn. And the fact that we actually saw them together and later married for like 35 episodes. They were so good for each other.

And yes, PERCY WAS GOOD FOR HER. And Vex was not his therapist and manic pixie dream girl. None of that bullshit here. Percy was already firmly on the path to being better before he even considered that crush he has had on her for forever to turn into something more.

And by he was good for her I mean that he actually UNDERSTOOD her and where she was coming from. Refer again to the titling issue, where Vax is just confused and kind of pissed, Percy got it. And that’s important.

Something I have not made a post about so far, by the way, is also something people have called problematic and co-dependant is how Percy shares his darker impulses with Vex in hopes she’ll talk him out of it. Which she does, and it’s never hard, but that also means so much to her? Because he involves her and tells her exactly what is going on with him and values her opinion? And that is just exactly what she needs? And they’re so good? THEY’RE SO GOOD.

WHEN DOES YOUR OTP EVER

HE COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER DREAM

This is more on Laura, admittedly, but also, it was just so great to see her unapologetically pursuing this romance? There’s a place at the table for a 72 episode slow burn, and she’s gonna go for it, and there’s nothing any of the dudebros who are just here for the fighting can do about it.

And also Vex is just so unapologetically sexual at the same time. From episode 1 onwards, really, and in general and just limited to Percy. And no one ever treats that as weird or bad or anything. It’s just who she is and that’s great.

And she fought. So hard. For that happy ending of hers. Kicking and screaming, against the world and against Taliesin’s determination that Percy is irredeemable and not capable of getting a happy ending. Defy that auctorial intent, my girl. You deserve it.

Seriously. Seeing her get that happy ending against all odds was unfathomably gratifying and validating and I’ve never connected to any single character or narrative at large for that matter this much and this intimately, and considering how I came across this story at one of the darkest times in my life, I probably never will feel so strongly connected to anything ever again.

Which is probably for the best, but hey. 

Aaaand there you go. An almost unstructured, epically long list of reasons I love Vex. Dammit, I talked about other characters way more than I intended, buuuut hey. That’s how it goes when you’ve got an ensemble piece, they’re all kinda interwoven.

Thank you this wonderful ask, anon, and reason to celebrate my 100,000th post on this site in style.

#critical role #cr #cr1 #vex'ahlia #lady vex'ahlia de rolo #is better than you #deserved better from the narrative #will forever be my favorite character probably #will forever be part of my ultimate OTP #we do not deserve her #we are unworthy #long post #long post for ts

[nicostolemybones]

Ghostly Gods (2)

Of course, Nico and Will had stayed around camp after receiving godhood, but now, walking towards the cabins, it became blindingly obvious how different everything was. It wasn’t necessarily that the architecture had changed- after all, even when it had, Nico and Will had been around to notice. But now, not wrapped up in each other and trying to relive their youths, they were able to notice how different the people were. It felt weird to be walking towards the campfire, because it was so familiar yet so foreign. Because they were used to Percy and Annabeth and Jason and Cecil and Lou Ellen and Kayla and Austin and Lacy and Mitchell and Drew and Leo and Piper and Harley and Jake and Nyssa and everybody else they grew up with- it wasn’t the camp they recognised, because that camp was dead. 

Hestia was the only face apart from Chiron that Nico or Will could recognise, greeting them like old friends and disappearing into the background once more. Nico seemed to withdraw, shrinking back into the form of a fifteen year old boy with an oversized aviator’s jacket and ripped black jeans, fading closer and closer into the shadows. Will was thriving in the excitable and nervous buzz of the campfire, leading the traditional campfire songs with his ukulele. The campers took to him instantly- he seemed to have a way of calming the nerves of even the most anxious campers. It was easy to forget that Will was a god when he was like this- Will seemed to embody all the positive traits that made up humanity. The faint warm glow encompassing him made him difficult to ignore- people found themselves drawn to him no matter what, even the most broken campers finding solace in his company. 

Whereas Nico was invisible and cold and closed off, because becoming a god, being near infallible, didn’t take away the fact that Nico was deeply uncomfortable in these situations. He didn’t know anybody, and he could tell he had nothing in common with most of them. Making friends through shared circumstances almost never bodes well, forming too fast and too fickle, only to find that the similarities you share are superficial, surface level, sheltering you from seeing the toxicity of the people who claim to care but don’t. He rather liked being invisible today, but the way people looked through him, he wondered if he’d turned into a ghost for good. It was only Will reaching out and pulling him gently into the light of the campfire that Nico felt visible, and a part of him was glad- it wasn’t that Nico didn’t want to talk or interact with the campers- but rather he was so used to his own company or the same company that he’d forgotten how to meet people, how to strike up a conversation- the shadows never made for good small talk after all. He was surprised with how at ease everybody was around him now- that’s when it finally hit him that they seemed to be used to the aura of death and decay just like Will was- there were Hades campers here, blended in, conforming innocuously with the neon orange crowd. He smiled inwardly- acceptance always struck close to home with Nico, who had to fight to be accepted. 

A solemn wave of pity made a nest in Will’s heart- these were temporary people, with temporary lives and temporary consciousnesses and temporary legacies. Nico was used to death- it didn’t seem to bother him anymore- knowing that everybody he knew would die, because death was his territory, and he’d accepted it. But Will didn’t think he could ever accept death- he’d become a god to avoid it. He didn’t want to be a puppet of bones summoned to dance the danse macabre by a curious necromancing demigod for entertainment. He didn’t want to have his skull sat upon a camper’s desk as a memento mori, an empty hourglass and a reminder of mortality. He didn’t want to be a tool to be summoned to fight with regardless of what he believed in or wanted to fight against like all the other skeletons. And Will couldn’t help but see every camper the way Nico had once described people- as living corpses. They were all temporary, to be washed away if he should chance to close his eyes, and he couldn’t save them from that. He couldn’t help but think about the organs within, just biological mechanisms, cells using chemical messengers, every thought just an action potential somewhere deep inside their brains. Just skeletons inside an illusion of life, being puppeteered like marionettes by charged impulses rapidly firing through a lipid organ. Will wished he could take away the existential fear he remembered having as a mortal, but all he could do was comfort the dying, because everybody, no matter how healthy, was slowly dying.

Nico had accepted their mortality, his own once, his sister’s, his friend’s, Will’s once. So Nico saw the life inside them, he saw it burn with passion, a cause to fight for, because every person was temporary, and every person deserved to have their voice heard, to have their identity worn proudly, to stand up and change things for a hope of a better world for the next generation. Nico saw and understood and accepted them before he knew them, because he’d seen asphodel, seen the chattering husks that called themselves somebody but couldn’t remember who that somebody was. Asphodel wasn’t full of morally grey people, it was full of those who had no acceptance, who had to stay silent, who weren’t allowed to make a difference and weren’t allowed to live their own lives. It was full of people who were scared to die, and had to stay silent to stay safe. He’d always said; ‘your voice is your identity. If you don’t use it, you’re halfway to asphodel already’. He remembered when he couldn’t use his voice, when he was too scared, too alone, too hurt to stand up proudly, too full of self hate to accept himself. And he remembered how glorious it was when he did accept himself, when he paraded unapologetically, when he allowed himself to love, to protest, to riot, to fight back. He remembered how alive accepting himself made him feel despite how dead the hate tried to make him feel. He remembered the buzz of being free, and it reminded him that even a temporary life was a life worth accepting, if only for a short moment of comfort.

The campfire was a place of comfort, of stability, of reassurance, a place where everybody was accepted and everybody was allowed to be bitter about the sting of rejection from their families. It was a place Nico and Will had the most fond memories of- there was something about the way even the most anxious or shy of campers were able to find their voices, something about the way everybody came together that felt like home, reflected in the homefires kindled in Hestia’s eyes. Will liked the campfire because it felt like comfort, and Nico liked the campfire because it felt like acceptance- the two weren’t binary opposites after all, people realised, in fact they had a lot in common. Nico had been a soldier, a martyr, and Will had been a healer, a service- both had been resources to exploit, both had been the boy who couldn’t cry, who when they broke, they exploded in a supernova of mirror shards, each shard reflecting the consequence of everybody’s expectations and judgments and choice to turn a blind eye to their suffering. Comfort and Acceptance were two sides of the same coin- it was impossible to truly have one without the other, and both had only truly found the other side of that coin within each other’s arms. 

“How did you find hope in all of this,” a camper asked timidly, brokenly, and nobody answered for a while. 

“Because even when the sun isn’t shining, even in the darkest of nights, the stars are a thousand suns shining just for you. And when you’re feeling alone, if you reach out to the sun,” Will began gently, summoning a ray of light from a distant star and holding the sunlight in his palm, “and you take a ray of sunshine,” he continued, placing the light in the camper’s hands and closing their fingers around it, “and you put it in your pocket,” he instructed, waiting for the camper to do so, “then you aren’t alone anymore, because the sun shines on us all, and somewhere, somebody else is feeling alone too and looking up at the sun, so you’re never truly alone, and the sunshine in your pocket will keep you company.” The camper smiled, their cheeks tinted a healthy dusty rose as they found a new hope, a new confidence, found comfort.

“What about you, sir,” the camper asked Nico, and Nico took a moment to gather his thoughts.

“I didn’t,” Nico began strongly, “I accepted that some situations are hopeless, and I learned that chasing after a ray of hope that isn’t truly there wasn’t healthy for me. Reaching towards hope that wasn’t made for me felt like the darkness was pulling me back and cutting into my soul. But when I let go of that hope, let the shadows take over and let myself fall, I found myself being pulled backwards through the shadows, only to emerge at the back,” Nico explained, summoning tendrils of shadows around his wrists and gripping them like reigns in his hands, “but from behind the darkness, I found myself at its helm, in control of this chariot of darkness within. I made my own hope, because I controlled the darkness now, it didn’t control me. I accepted it, I accepted the pain and I accepted that I couldn’t change the things I wanted to change. I let go of hope, and it allowed me to take control, to find power in the shadows that I once feared. False hope prevents us from accepting our circumstances, it keeps us wanting something more, stops us from being satisfied with who we are and what we have. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is let go of hope, but sometimes, just sometimes, accepting what you can’t change and accepting who you are is far more powerful than the relentless hunt of an elusive better life. Only once you accept what you can’t control can you begin to take the reigns and fight for a better life, but hoping for it won’t do anything but hurt you should you fall short. I go into everything with no hope for myself. I fight for what I believe in, not for what I hope for. Don’t fight or keep going for some utopian vision of the future. Accept the dystopia you’re in and learn how to use it against them, learn how to control all that rage and hate and all that darkness inside and turn it into your weapon, your voice, your identity. If the ichor of a toxic society or person or idea is causing you pain, use the burn to fuel your passion, and use their own ichor to make them face what they’ve done.”

“My mom would’ve approved,” the camper said with a small smile, and Nico noticed the eye patch worn proudly on their face.

“Justice is a virtue favoured by the underworld,” Nico replied, “and I intend to fight for what is just, but in my own name, and in the name of those who can’t use their voices themselves. I speak on behalf of those in personal asphodel.”

“What about you,” the camper asked, turning to Will, “what do you fight for?”

“I don’t fight unless I have to,” Will said candidly, “do I stand up for what I believe in? Yes. But fight? I prefer to heal, to allow for recovery and growth. So I guess I do fight, I fight alongside those who need to know somebody out there has their back. I fight for brighter times, to be a guiding light through the darkness and to bring some warmth and compassion and comfort and recovery to an otherwise cold and bleak reality. But one thing they don’t tell you? Sometimes it’s okay to fight for yourself. You don’t always have to fight for others. Sometimes you can fight for yourself, love yourself, try to change things for the better for yourself. You have to fight for yourself, because others won’t always fight for you. You can let go of hope or cling to it, just never stop fighting for yourself, okay? Sometimes you won’t find comfort in others, sometimes you have to recover by building up piece by piece, one kind word at a time.  Believe in yourself when you can’t believe in anyone else, or anything else for that matter. The world isn’t a kind place, so fight to stay kind. Be the comfort to others you wish others were for yourself, and one day, if everybody thinks like that, hope might live again.”

#ghostly gods #nico di angelo #solangelo #will solace #nico di angelo x will solace #nicohasahappymeal

[rp-dreamland]

Why can't I hold all these cool stories?

CURRENT CRAVINGS: Please see this GDoc, because I have some plots I’d like to try! I’m primarily interested in original plots and characters; setting them in original worlds or fandom worlds is fine. I am not interested in playing canons other than as side characters/world filler as of right now.

DISCORD: KYLO REN AT CHILI’S#8808

TIMEZONE: CST

PERSONAL PREFERENCES

I’m over eighteen, and would prefer my partners are, too. This doesn’t mean I’m interested in NSFW-heavy plots; I do not write smut. It just means I’m more comfortable writing and interacting with other adults. 

I consider myself to be lit-adv. I tend to enjoy partners in the lit+ category, but as long as you’re an enthusiastic and engaging partner, I don’t care about perfect grammar. I would rather write with someone just as involved and excited as I am, than I would with someone who isn’t very engaging but knows exactly what to do with obscure punctuation.

I’m not interested in playing only one type of character or playing against only one type of character. I typically don’t enjoy writing with people who are only interested in playing one type of relationship dynamic or one kind of character (such as only m/f, playing the female, or m/m, playing the “bottom”). I have no problem with these dynamics or characters at all, nor do I have an issue playing against them. I just prefer more variety, compromise, and opportunity.

 OOC chatter is really important to me. I can’t write with someone that I don’t feel like I can get to know. I’m looking for friends, not a faceless reply robot. I won’t communicate over any medium but Discord. I’ve tried Kik, Hangouts, etc.; they just don’t stick for me. If you would prefer first contact be through email, you can shoot me a quick message and your handle to [email protected].

I’m fine with threading in a GDoc or a server, but I will not thread over DMs. It’s difficult to have OOC chatter and the thread over the top of each other.

If you’re looking for a partner that writes a reply a day without fail, that’s not me. I prefer that we don’t have “posting schedules” or set posting times, because I find that it turns writing into a chore. It’s great if you reply immediately, and it’s totally okay if you need a week to figure something out! You’re absolutely free to poke me. I’m not always the most mindful. However, I’m not going to reply every day. Three to four times a week is my frequency.

PLOT PREFERENCES

I’m interested in both fandom and original settings, and I’m down for playing both canon characters and OCs. I don’t necessarily prefer one or the other. 

I definitely prefer canon doubling from my partners in fandom plots; I mesh better with people who do a little give-and-take when it comes to that. If you only play one canon character or only play OCs against canons and won’t play canons, I don’t think we’ll work.

I can play as many characters as needed, whether it’s just one or it’s six. Whatever our story calls for, I can manage that. In fact, I would love to play multiple “main” pairings so we can both get what we want, versus a single main pairing (unless it’s a pairing/dynamic we both like equally well). I find more than one facet to a plot really interesting, and multiple characters helps flesh out a story’s dimensions.

I’m absolutely interested in joining groups, so please don’t be shy about asking me to participate in plots with more than two players. So long as they don’t involve me writing sexual NSFW, we’re Gucci; everyone else writing NSFW isn’t a deal breaker for me.

Multiple threads and plots at the same time are no issue for me. In fact, I love the idea that we click so well that we just can’t stop coming up with good ideas! So definitely don’t be afraid to pitch something new to me, whether it’s because you want to switch gears (and drop a thread for another), or want to do everything at once.

Romance is a must for me! I prefer slow and agonizing journeys to get there, but my attention is best held by romantic chemistry between characters.

I can provide writing samples upon request, though I never require them from my partner. Additionally, I have some plots written out if you’re interested in that sort of thing. Otherwise, we can brainstorm together!

FANDOMS

I’m very much a fandom player. I’m always down for AUs, or inserting our own characters into the plots of fandoms! This is in no way a complete list; never be afraid to ask if I’m into something! I’ve probably forgotten a hundred things I love. 

Most of my fandoms will have favorite canon characters listed with them, both who I like playing and playing against; you’re always welcome to ask about others not listed.* There’s a good chance I’m pretty good with them!

*I will play OCs in every fandom, but I might not play canons in every fandom.

ALWAYS

The Bartimaeus Trilogy (Nathaniel, Kitty Jones, and Bartimaeus), DC (any Titan, Jinx, Arthur Curry, Steve Trevor, Circe, and Diana Prince), Elder Scrolls (player canons and/or OCs preferred, but feel free to ask about canons), Fallout: New Vegas and 4 (Arcade Gannon, Paladin Danse, R.J. MacCready, Arthur Maxson, Veronica Santangelo, Cait, Rose of Sharon Cassidy, and player canons), Game of Thrones (Sansa Stark, Robb Stark, Jon Snow, Cersei Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Ramsay Bolton, and Willas Tyrell), His Dark Materials (OCs preferred), Hunger Games (OCs preferred), Inception (Arthur, and Eames, but OCs preferred), Marvel (Peter Parker, Scott Lang, Bucky Barnes, Miles Morales, Loki Laufeyson, Thor Odinson, Gwen Stacy, Jean Grey, Ororo Munroe, Kitty Pryde, and Megan Gwynn), Miraculous Ladybug (Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste), The Mortal Instruments (Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago, and Alec Lightwood), Percy Jackson and the Olympians (Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, Annabeth Chase, Will Solace, Piper McLean, and Leo Valdez), Star Trek (Jim Kirk, Leonard McCoy, S'chn T'gai Spock, and Pavel Chekov), Star Wars (Obi Wan Kenobi, Jacen Solo, Jaina Solo, Jagged Fel, Mara Jade Skywalker, Rey Skywalker, Poe Dameron, Luke Skywalker, Boba Fett, Sintas Vel, and Ahsoka Tano), The Walking Dead (Glenn Rhee, and Negan), Warriors (Firestar, Squirrelflight, Jayfeather, and Hawkfrost)

SOMETIMES

Boku no Hero Academia (Bakugo Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Shinsou Hitoshi, Kaminari Denki, Kirishima Eijiro, Todoroki Shoto, and Uraraka Ochaco), Bungou Stray Dogs (OCs preferred, but feel free to ask about canons), Digimon (OCs preferred), Dragon Age (Fenris, Cullen Rutherford, Cassandra Pentaghast, and Dorian Pavus), Final Fantasy VII (Cloud Strife, Zack Fair, Reno, and Sephiroth), Harry Potter (Narcissa Malfoy, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Regulus Black, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, and Luna Lovegood; play my favorite ship with me, and I’ll do whatever you want, literally.), Mystic Messenger (Choi Saeyoung, Han Jumin, Kang Jaehee, and Choi Saeran), Naruto (Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka, Gaara, Hyuuga Hinata, and Uchiha Sasuke), Ouran High School Host Club (Ootori Kyouya, Hitachiin Hikaru, and Hitachiin Kaoru), Pokémon (Red, Blue, N, Guzma, and player canons)

NOT SURE, BUT WILLING TO EXPLORE

Avatar: the Last Airbender (particularly Zutara), Eragon, Howl’s Moving Castle, Kiznaiver, The Legend of Zelda, Soul Eater, Steven Universe, Tokyo Ghoul, Twilight, Yuri!!! on Ice

GENRES

For the most part, I’ll genuinely play most any genre! Of course, everyone says that, but then they shoot down all your suggestions because everyone has stuff they don’t like doing. I’ll try to make this as brief as I can, and know that if something isn’t listed, but you’re pretty sure (based on everything else) that I’m into it, then definitely let me know what you’re thinking!

SETTINGS

A/B/O (I will not play only alphas for only omegas, nor will I play overly trope-y, non-con, “boys love”/"yaoi” plots.), Age of Sail, alien worlds/alien invasions, celebrity, fairytales and mythology (including “inspired by” retellings), fantasy (including medieval, urban, and high fantasy), alt-historical and modern royalty, mutants/gifted, organized crime, science fiction (especially including aliens), some historical (excluding medieval, colonial, and the Roaring Twenties/Great Depression), Southern gothic, supernatural, Victorian (especially the London ton), post-apocalyptic

PAIRING DYNAMICS

arranged marriage (I’m always down for slinging our characters together, whether or not they want to. It’s always a bonus if their families hate each other.), enemies to lovers (I love conflict of any sort, especially romantic!), human x not-human (The not-human must be sentient.), bad guy x good guy, intellectual x emotional, captive x captured (especially when the captured is willful, annoying, and full of fight), step-siblings (I don’t play step-parents x step-kids, so please don’t ask!), status/power imbalances (such as characters being from different socioeconomic strata or different ranks/positions in an organization), celebrity x bodyguard (I’m okay with the celebrity being the son/daughter/offspring of someone famous!), famous x not famous, rivals of any sort, unwilling traveling companions, unwilling soulmates

If any of this interests you, please feel free to reach out to me however! I’m really looking forward to hearing from you!

#rp partner needed #RP Partner search #rp partner wanted #fandom #original #sfw only #oc #canon #fantasy #drama #romance #angst #horror #fluff #mystery #slice of life #supernatural #action #adventure #varying schedule #long term #discord #submission

[fyrapartnersearch]

Why can't I hold all these cool stories?

CURRENT CRAVINGS: Please see this GDoc, because I have some plots I’d like to try! I’m primarily interested in original plots and characters; setting them in original worlds or fandom worlds is fine. I am not interested in playing canons other than as side characters/world filler as of right now.

DISCORD: KYLO REN AT CHILI’S#8808

  PERSONAL PREFERENCES

I’m over eighteen, and would prefer my partners are, too. This doesn’t mean I’m interested in NSFW-heavy plots; I do not write smut. It just means I’m more comfortable writing and interacting with other adults.

I consider myself to be lit-adv. I tend to enjoy partners in the lit+ category, but as long as you’re an enthusiastic and engaging partner, I don’t care about perfect grammar. I would rather write with someone just as involved and excited as I am, than I would with someone who isn't very engaging but knows exactly what to do with obscure punctuation.

I’m not interested in playing only one type of character or playing against only one type of character. I typically don’t enjoy writing with people who are only interested in playing one type of relationship dynamic or one kind of character (such as only m/f, playing the female, or m/m, playing the “bottom”). I have no problem with these dynamics or characters at all, nor do I have an issue playing against them. I just prefer more variety, compromise, and opportunity.

 OOC chatter is really important to me. I can’t write with someone that I don’t feel like I can get to know. I’m looking for friends, not a faceless reply robot. I won’t communicate over any medium but Discord. I've tried Kik, Hangouts, etc.; they just don't stick for me. If you would prefer first contact be through email, you can shoot me a quick message and your handle to [email protected].

I’m fine with threading in a GDoc or a server, but I will not thread over DMs. It’s difficult to have OOC chatter and the thread over the top of each other.

If you're looking for a partner that writes a reply a day without fail, that's not me. I prefer that we don't have "posting schedules” or set posting times, because I find that it turns writing into a chore. It's great if you reply immediately, and it's totally okay if you need a week to figure something out! You’re absolutely free to poke me. I’m not always the most mindful. However, I’m not going to reply every day. Three to four times a week is my frequency.

  PLOT PREFERENCES

I’m interested in both fandom and original settings, and I’m down for playing both canon characters and OCs. I don’t necessarily prefer one or the other. 

I definitely prefer canon doubling from my partners in fandom plots; I mesh better with people who do a little give-and-take when it comes to that. If you only play one canon character or only play OCs against canons and won’t play canons, I don’t think we’ll work.

I can play as many characters as needed, whether it's just one or it's six. Whatever our story calls for, I can manage that. In fact, I would love to play multiple “main” pairings so we can both get what we want, versus a single main pairing (unless it’s a pairing/dynamic we both like equally well). I find more than one facet to a plot really interesting, and multiple characters helps flesh out a story’s dimensions.

I’m absolutely interested in joining groups, so please don’t be shy about asking me to participate in plots with more than two players. So long as they don’t involve me writing sexual NSFW, we’re Gucci; everyone else writing NSFW isn’t a deal breaker for me.

Multiple threads and plots at the same time are no issue for me. In fact, I love the idea that we click so well that we just can't stop coming up with good ideas! So definitely don't be afraid to pitch something new to me, whether it's because you want to switch gears (and drop a thread for another), or want to do everything at once.

Romance is a must for me! I prefer slow and agonizing journeys to get there, but my attention is best held by romantic chemistry between characters.

I can provide writing samples upon request, though I never require them from my partner. Additionally, I have some plots written out if you're interested in that sort of thing. Otherwise, we can brainstorm together!

  FANDOMS

I’m very much a fandom player. I’m always down for AUs, or inserting our own characters into the plots of fandoms! This is in no way a complete list; never be afraid to ask if I’m into something! I’ve probably forgotten a hundred things I love. 

Most of my fandoms will have favorite canon characters listed with them, both who I like playing and playing against; you’re always welcome to ask about others not listed.* There’s a good chance I’m pretty good with them!

*I will play OCs in every fandom, but I might not play canons in every fandom.

  ALWAYS

The Bartimaeus Trilogy (Nathaniel, Kitty Jones, and Bartimaeus), DC (any Titan, Jinx, Arthur Curry, Steve Trevor, Circe, and Diana Prince), Elder Scrolls (player canons and/or OCs preferred, but feel free to ask about canons), Fallout: New Vegas and 4 (Arcade Gannon, Paladin Danse, R.J. MacCready, Arthur Maxson, Veronica Santangelo, Cait, Rose of Sharon Cassidy, and player canons), Game of Thrones (Sansa Stark, Robb Stark, Jon Snow, Cersei Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Ramsay Bolton, and Willas Tyrell), His Dark Materials (OCs preferred), Hunger Games (OCs preferred), Inception (Arthur, and Eames, but OCs preferred), Marvel (Peter Parker, Scott Lang, Bucky Barnes, Miles Morales, Loki Laufeyson, Thor Odinson, Gwen Stacy, Jean Grey, Ororo Munroe, Kitty Pryde, and Megan Gwynn), Miraculous Ladybug (Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste), The Mortal Instruments (Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago, and Alec Lightwood), Percy Jackson and the Olympians (Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, Annabeth Chase, Will Solace, Piper McLean, and Leo Valdez), Star Trek (Jim Kirk, Leonard McCoy, S'chn T'gai Spock, and Pavel Chekov), Star Wars (Obi Wan Kenobi, Jacen Solo, Jaina Solo, Jagged Fel, Mara Jade Skywalker, Rey Skywalker, Poe Dameron, Luke Skywalker, Boba Fett, Sintas Vel, and Ahsoka Tano), The Walking Dead (Glenn Rhee, and Negan), Warriors (Firestar, Squirrelflight, Jayfeather, and Hawkfrost)

  SOMETIMES

Boku no Hero Academia (Bakugo Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Shinsou Hitoshi, Kaminari Denki, Kirishima Eijiro, Todoroki Shoto, and Uraraka Ochaco), Bungou Stray Dogs (OCs preferred, but feel free to ask about canons), Digimon (OCs preferred), Dragon Age (Fenris, Cullen Rutherford, Cassandra Pentaghast, and Dorian Pavus), Final Fantasy VII (Cloud Strife, Zack Fair, Reno, and Sephiroth), Harry Potter (Narcissa Malfoy, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Regulus Black, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, and Luna Lovegood; play my favorite ship with me, and I'll do whatever you want, literally.), Mystic Messenger (Choi Saeyoung, Han Jumin, Kang Jaehee, and Choi Saeran), Naruto (Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka, Gaara, Hyuuga Hinata, and Uchiha Sasuke), Ouran High School Host Club (Ootori Kyouya, Hitachiin Hikaru, and Hitachiin Kaoru), Pokémon (Red, Blue, N, Guzma, and player canons)

  NOT SURE, BUT WILLING TO EXPLORE

Avatar: the Last Airbender (particularly Zutara), Eragon, Howl's Moving Castle, Kiznaiver, The Legend of Zelda, Soul Eater, Steven Universe, Tokyo Ghoul, Twilight, Yuri!!! on Ice

  GENRES

For the most part, I’ll genuinely play most any genre! Of course, everyone says that, but then they shoot down all your suggestions because everyone has stuff they don’t like doing. I’ll try to make this as brief as I can, and know that if something isn’t listed, but you’re pretty sure (based on everything else) that I’m into it, then definitely let me know what you’re thinking!

SETTINGS

A/B/O (I will not play only alphas for only omegas, nor will I play overly trope-y, non-con, “boys love”/"yaoi" plots.), Age of Sail, alien worlds/alien invasions, celebrity, fairytales and mythology (including “inspired by” retellings), fantasy (including medieval, urban, and high fantasy), alt-historical and modern royalty, mutants/gifted, organized crime, science fiction (especially including aliens), some historical (excluding medieval, colonial, and the Roaring Twenties/Great Depression), supernatural, Victorian (especially the London ton), post-apocalyptic

PAIRING DYNAMICS

arranged marriage (I’m always down for slinging our characters together, whether or not they want to. It’s always a bonus if their families hate each other.), enemies to lovers (I love conflict of any sort, especially romantic!), human x not-human (The not-human must be sentient.), bad guy x good guy, intellectual x emotional, captive x captured (especially when the captured is willful, annoying, and full of fight), step-siblings (I don’t play step-parents x step-kids, so please don’t ask!), status/power imbalances (such as characters being from different socioeconomic strata or different ranks/positions in an organization), celebrity x bodyguard (I’m okay with the celebrity being the son/daughter/offspring of someone famous!), famous x not famous, rivals of any sort, unwilling traveling companions, unwilling soulmates

  If any of this interests you, please feel free to reach out to me however! I'm really looking forward to hearing from you!

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #para #semipara #oneline #long term #messenger #marvel rp #harry potter rp #marauders rp #mcu rp #dc rp #submission

[gringoslur]

Hi VM anon here just to say i finished with the Briarwood arc and started the Conclave arc and NOSSA SENHORA, i'm already wrecked from all this. The Twins are always a joy to see, i like Scanlam a lot more now that i see where his arc may be going, impressive is the only word i can use for Percy, Grog is going tru something with that blade i guess, Pike is really the rock that stops the party going to hell and Keyleth is my absolute favorite character right now, even when she get spells wrong kk

(VM anon here) Actually, i change what i said about Percy. I think he is trying to hard to push things into a morally grey deal, but not in a interesting way like we are starting to see in the M9, and that just doesn’t fit well with a party with such a black-and-white mentality. I also didn’t like how the comments kept praise his edgy tired takes about crime being needed and using them to shit on the party members who didn’t go with it. (Sorry if this is irritating, i know you are a Percy fan).

(VM anon, sorry) Again, sorry for sending these non-stop (maybe i should just get a tumblr already dunno), But my biggest griefs about Percy is this new attitude he got in the Conclave arc after such a great Briarwood arc. Anyone from a country where organized crime is so big cannot say that they are in no way, shape or form important for society to work and i feel a particular kind of fury to characters that believe they do because of “things” that happened to family members of mine. Sorry 2.0.

Don’t apologize, i love it! It’s funny because people get mad at Percy for the same reasons on why i love Percy. “He doesn’t fit well in the party”, exactly! How is this fucker in the middle of that group of chaotic good people? I think that Taelisin always talked about how he’s such an angsty teenager thats just…a fucking asshole lmao. He’s right!

About M9, i personally don’t think that the things with M9 are getting morally grey, at least not their characters. The only situation that i saw that it was kind of like that it was the Mess that they did when Cad almost drowned? That was an interesting situation, even more the talk after it. But now? They are not morally grey, they just don’t….know what the fuck is going on lol. They’re all pretty much good people that would do the good thing. 

Ok, first of all, an advice that i’m sorry that i didn’t give you before: Don’t read the comments. Like. Ever. I can’t deny that Kiki sometimes annoyed me, but when i look at the comments i was like wtf. I started to look at the comments and then i stopped, because i realized that it didn’t help me with anything. I was taking negative energy from the comments and it ruined my perspective of the show, so i stopped and i started to enjoy the show again, alone, now without other voices involved. 

Now that i said that, i can continue. Percy? My boy is not a good person. He’s selfish, arrogant and entitled. I love him, but i don’t know if ill be his friend. Maybe with the Percy in the end, he has his shit together, kind of. But why do i love him? Storywise, he’s such a good character. Always-happy dynamics can be nice, but confrontations between characters are very interesting and are actually the things that allow stronger bonds. And i can’t think of big confrontations in VM without this dickhead involved. I was not surprised with his opinion about crime in society because first of all, he has a political background. Monarchy and things like that were always around him, so he’s not gonna be the first to come out and scream “revolution agaisnt the power!” because well, he always was part of the power. He’s insensitive with those things because he’s used to have them in his perspective of the world, his reaction was “well, it be like that”. And let’s not forget that his way was always “the end justifies the means”. This man accepted to make a weapon that he knew it was gonna kill millions of people, in the name of revenge. in the name of his family. in the name of what he needed, in his desesperation. Now, i find that deal that he wanted to make interesting because, would he fulfill it if he really realized the real consequences? If he had to deal with the consequences himself or at least see them in flesh? I don’t know. He’s very good at talking and deals, but decision maker? He needs to be controlled. I mean, this fucker made a deal with a demon (i love saying that but to be fair he didn’t knew that it was a demon or that it was real lol). 

You’re probably talking about the Kiki vs Percy situation. Oh boy, those are an interesting pair. They’re both young, they are put as the head of their people in a traumatic way, they’re impulsive as fuck and have very different opinions, like, always. It’s so fun and interesting for me. I honestly don’t remember on what side i was on that situation, but i was more in the Percy side for one thing: when i’m in a discussion, i analyze a lot, i tried to be cold to be in control of the fight. And Kiki, lovely Kiki with the heart full of fire, it’s so fucking confrontational. I remember that i was frustrated with her because i believe that if people see you fight with your own allies, that’s a weak point. I don’t like to antagonize someone that can be your worst headache tomorrow. I think that you have to be smart about stuff, even if you want to follow Kiki’s side, there’s nothing good in adding enemies in your list, especially in that situation. I think that even Marisha got frustrated with how Kiki acted in many situations, but she had to be loyal to the characterization. Again, i love their confrontations because they’re both can be so hardheaded but they’re still best friends. They both have a lot on their shoulders, but they need each other. 

I want to add one more thing, don’t think that Percy’s character development ended with the Briarwoods arc. He has a looong way to go yet. He has to deal with a lot of things about himself, and learn how to cope with them. That man is a mess still. He needs to developt complex relationships with everyone in the group and find his own place on it. Don’t forget that the group spend years thinking that Percy was the Responsible Adult when he was just a traumatized barely-legal kid with a demon inside of him, so he filled that role but now, that’s changing and he needs to adapt to it. His reaction on the fact that he’s not always in control anymore it’s actually pretty funny. 

I would love to hear more of your thoughts!

#nonies #sebas responde

[vethyourhalflingmother]

whenever you have free time: can you explain your opinions on what houses vox machina and the mighty nein are in? i 100% agree w gryffindor nott btw

I’d just like to start by clarifying that altho I do feel strongly about some of these opinions (& ive joked about them being unchangeable - which is not true, to be serious), that doesnt mean I don’t wanna hear y’all’s - do you agree w/ me on some & not the others? completely disagree? completely agree for different reasons? tell me (politely pls) & give me some of ur reasons! i think part of the intrigue of sorting our fav characters into hogwarts houses is that it tells us what we value in them & what traits of theirs stand out to us the most - and that subsequently makes it…. fairly subjective (also doesn’t help that the standards for each house are kind of……vague lol)

I expect all of ur essays on this v important question on my desk by 8 am monday morning

now onto answering the actual ask:

The Mighty Nein

Caleb - Ravenclaw; aside from the fact that he obviously values books & advancement of his own magical knowledge, he also seems to think through important decisions in a logical manner (ex. he spent a lot of time thinking about whether he & nott should stay w/ the rest of the mighty nein)

Fjord - Ravenclaw; again, besides the obvious, his interest in studying at the Soltryce Academy, he’s also really observant & intent on learning from those around him, given all the questions he’s asked Caleb & the way he keeps an eye on Jester’s divine magic

Molly - Hufflepuff; altho initially i had some mixed feelings about this, after giving it some thought, im actually most convinced of this one: as many have pointed out, he’s shaping up to be the Mom Friend & taliesin also says he has a moral code that he sticks to - i think being steadfast in the way youre gonna put good into the world (& in how u treat the evils & injustices) is very Hufflepuff  

Yasha - Slytherin; though I say this tentatively bc we haven’t seen a lot of her yet - she doesn’t seem like a traditional slytherin in a highly ambitions sense, but she does seem like to stick to her guns & prioritise herself when necessary (“I run into the woods”)   

Beau - Gryffindor; she strikes me as fight first, ask questions later kinda gal & going in guns blazing seems very Gryffindor to me - in addition, she also saved nott from that manticore, which struck me as reckless bravery consistent w/ gryffindors

Nott - Gryffindor; i spent some time thinking about this one after @matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll gave some of their reasons for slotting nott as a hufflepuff - ultimately, I think nott’s a gryffindor despite the fact that she doesn’t consider herself brave is bc her actions speak louder than her words (“I cover Caleb’s body with my own” & “I kill the baby manticore”); the willingness to put urself at risk for the people u care about over and over even at ur own expense strikes me as a gryffindor trait (for better or worse, I might add - see my thoughts on Vax’ildammit)

Jester - look I……………………………..honestly don’t fuckin know. Hufflepuff? Slytherin? Idk ask me again in fifty episodes

Vox Machina

Percy - Ravenclaw; initially i had percy as a Slytherin but i think once he got over the whole demon revenge thing he actually turned out to be pretty Ravenclaw - I mean, he does invent things, and he’s not interested at all in being in charge of Whitestone (also what kind of fuckin nerd learns Celestial for the fun of it lmao)

Vex - Slytherin; Lady Vex’ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt - she cares about the title & the money & with very good reason, i think - her ability to obtain what she wants & persevere through the tough times puts her in Slytherin (also - with trinket’s origin story - i think it takes some real fucking grit & confidence to dig urself out of that kind of situation on ur own)

Vax - Gryffindor; this one is a lot to unpack. @swiftbell & i have been arguing about this one on & off for awhile; she thinks Vax is a Hufflepuff (& she has good reason to). there’s a lot of debate about whether hogwarts house are based on who u are vs who u want to be/strive to be & while i think arguments based on the latter r fine, i tend to base mine on the former in this list bc its easier to see actions than try to parse out thought

so that being said, i think Vax is a gryffindor bc while he cares deeply about his found family, he doesn’t exactly place a high price on his own safety; he goes in first, he goes in stupidly, he almost gets himself killed a lot - that kind of drive toward self sacrifice, to me, falls under the reckless bravery of a gryffindor

(as I said to steph: a hufflepuff would die for their loved ones if they absolutely had to, but a gryffindor tends to look at it as one of their first choices - also vax reminds me a lot of sirius black but im gonna stop right here to avoid turning this post into a vax character analysis)

Grog - Gryffindor; grog doesn’t do much thinking, he just does (& im not saying all gryffindors don’t think - obviously many do (@ hermione granger)- but i do they’re the types of people most prone to falling into the trap of not thinking things thru) it’s almost like the opposite of vax’s problem except we’re not talking about vax anymore bc this isnt a vax character study

Keyleth - Gryffindor; i feel like im beating a dead horse here but kiki also doesn’t always think things through & is very prone to action; the difference between her brand of gryffindor as opposed to vax’s & grog’s is that her outcomes are a little more mixed bag

Pike - Hufflepuff; i think pike is a hufflepuff for a lot of the same reasons i think molly is… which is a little surprising so just bear with me a second; she’s very devoted to Sarenrae, which sets up her (mostly) clear perspective of the world and how she should exist & treat people in it; she’s less of a mom friend (altho she still has some of those qualities), and she’s as loyal to her own causes as she is to Vox Machina; she also tends to be very kind & fun-loving w/out being a pushover

Scanlan - im a huge fan of scanlan, which probably means i should have some momentous opinion here…………….but I don’t, I really don’t know - i think once i get to some key points in scanlan’s character development (which i think are coming up in the next like 15 episodes or something), i’ll have a clearer thought

Tiberius - im not sure i remember tiberius well enough to make a full judgment, but I would say Ravenclaw probably if i had to bc of his constant interest in intelligence & learning to be a better sorcerer

Tary - ive heard of him but i dont know him yet so tbd  

#idkimoutofideas #i'm sure this was more than u all wanted to know but here you go #i'm a slytherin myself btw #the mighty nein #vox machina #critical role #harry potter au #hogwarts houses #text #asks #answers #long post

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Snow you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Dirk Cresswell!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

It’s always so amazing to me that so many people choose to come back to Crimson and it’s such a joy to see your Dirk come back to life in your app! I know I speak for many when I say that you took a character that none of us knew much about and brought with him a personality that we couldn’t forget. It’s so good to see you again and that you’ve found the time to come back to the rp! Snow, your reason for choosing him, in particular, made me emotional, and I can’t wait to see you write him with a fresh breath of life! Hopefully, you’ll be able to carry him on a new and beautiful journey as the war progresses and affects him. I can’t wait to see you and Dirk back on the dash! 

application beneath the cut ( tw: brief mentions of death )

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Snow, 21, she/her, gmt+3

ACTIVITY

im going to well and truly throw myself into my studies this semester, and i’m also running an rp with a friend of mine on tumblr, so i don’t know how active i’ll be honestly. given how much i already love and adore every member of this group and all your characters, i’ll be able to find time. 6 or 5 out of ten, i think.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

a promo blog about a year ago lol. i found this group way before it even opened but only applied like, months afterwards.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

hm. my answer differs every time based on my mood i think. like i dont think there’s one character i really truly identify with? probably percy tho lbr.

ANYTHING ELSE?

nope.

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

dirk cresswell. well, a revised version of him.

FACE CLAIM

ezra miller. listen i tried to change his fc but ezra is dirk and dirk is ezra the line has been blurred for ages now it is beyond my control.

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

i’d thought of coming back with a different character and had gone through a host of them in the open tag. i’d considered someone on the other end of the spectrum to counteract the experience i’ve had playing dirk. i’d thought of playing someone balanced and sophisticated and well-mannered, someone with a little less emotion and a little more poise. someone who is not dirk, but dirk seems to have stuck himself all the way down to the roots and i can’t seem to get him out.

i cannot properly express in words how much i love this character. i’m floundering for the right ways to lay it out. he is a myriad of unlikely contradictions – kind, and just, and cruel. he is optimism and realism hand-in-hand, but he is just as much that as he is full of lies. half truths, denials, secrets. he is honest and genuine, and his intentions are as pure as those of a noble knight but he strikes quick, and fast, and merciless, with the harsh finality of an execution.

he loves openly. he is never shying away from expressing his love and devotion for his friends and family. he is never afraid of what his love for them would do to him, or to them – no, he is afraid: the fear of losing someone who’d rooted themselves into the crevices of his life is numbing, almost all-consuming, but dirk has never known how to not love, how to not be so open towards them so much of the time.

and even then, it feels, to him, as though he is never without something to hide. as though he is never not carrying a secret of some sort, as though there is always something he is carefully folding to the side throughout his life, as though he has never been fully honest with another person before. the thing is, he is always open about the good parts of himself – he is loud and obnoxious about his love and his optimism, he is blazing and boisterous about his successes and achievements. he is almost always alone in his losses. he has become terribly adept in being both honest and not, at once.

he does not forgive. he is fearful of trust, of betrayal, of being left in the dust once again. he loves, he loves, he loves, but he does not trust quite as freely.

i’d focused much too much on his guilt and misery when i had played him last, but i’m hoping to be able to focus more this time on some good things in his life. which will probably not last very long lbr but im excited to see for myself.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

dirk is an utter, unbelievably obnoxious, hopeless romantic. he is nineteen years old and had known he is gay for years, the wizarding world being far more relaxed about such things than where he’d come from, but only in the last few years or so had he become relaxed enough to be open about his sexuality to more than just the people he trusts. the idea of finding a committed, long term partner – male partner – is only just beginning to settle itself within him. he is only now beginning to truly see himself with a future in perhaps a domestic fashion and, despite the times they live in, he is positively giddy. it’s embarrassing. really.

dirk is a cis male character, though i’d really like to see how he would interact with a trans and/or nonbinary character and how he might find solace with someone who, while perhaps not exactly like him, falls far from the conventional lines drawn up by the social structures they live in.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

traits:

+ TALENTED:

Dirk’s magical talents were difficult to miss, even to those who really, really tried, and it was not entirely for the considerable amount of bragging on Dirk’s part – though, arguably, that was a large part of it – but his hands, deft with potions and charms and defensive spells, were quick to catch people’s attention, and keep it. his exceptional dueling skills had not gone unnoticed, either, not by his teachers, and certainly not by his pureblooded schoolmates, who have repeatedly tested his abilities first hand.

+SOCIABLE:

Dirk is That One Kid that knows everyone, and who everyone knows. He joined every extracellular activity the school had to offer at one point or another, he never missed a chance to hang out and have fun, and he was always interested in meeting new people and making new friends. His easy humor and confident attitude drew people to him and relaxed them in his company, his optimism and cheeky remarks making him an uplifting presence to have around. He is secretive, however, keeping his emotional troubles and inner demons far away from prying eyes, even those he considers close.

-TRUST ISSUES:

Dirk has been shown love and taught not to trust it. a parting gift, from his mother, one could say. he finds difficulty – immense difficulty – in sharing his troubles, or his secrets of any kind, with anyone. he loves and he cares about his friends and there is very little he wouldn’t do for them, but trust is something that is difficult to come by, for him, and it is something that frustrates his friends to no end.

-ARROGANT:

Dirk has an exaggerated sense of his own abilities. He is talented, yes, anyone would be hard pressed to deny that, but he tends to – overestimate, what he can do. It could also be put down to his perfectionist nature, that he would bite off more than he could chew and simply expect himself to rise up to the challenge.

he is so confident in the caliber of his character, in his own moral righteousness, in his ability to tell right from wrong. he believes so completely in aversio and what they stand for and in the choices he’s made, that he is right, that he is good, that what they’re doing is entirely justified to a morally correct eye. his arrogance and his pride, just as his loyalty and his bravery and everything good in his heart, have led him down a path of darkness where the torch of his anger has lit the way so brightly he cannot see the blackness of his surroundings. he is a morally grey character with a black and white mindset.

——

Mockblog: dorkcresswxll.tumblr.com

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

he squints, tilts his head, leans back on the back of his feet. “just one?” he asks, and straightens up as a thought occurs to him. there’s the beginning of a grin pulling at his lips, something of boyish mischief coloring his features. “something to, to take care of pureblooded bigots. y’know, take care of ‘em. actually, all bigots, y’know, all at once.” he shrugs, hands shoved into his pockets, boyish grin spreading across his face. giddy. “i’d call it the purifier, just for kicks.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“Sal!” a burst of laughter, involuntary, and he leans forward. “did you see her swing that wretched bat of hers? i’d take her with me to that Snake Supreme if i could, she’d bash his head in and cuss up a storm and everything, she’s good at making a big fuss.” the fond gleam in his eyes is unmissed by any, there is pride in his voice when he speaks of her, of his sister. he does not attempt to hide it. “and – and food for the object, i think, that’d work out pretty well, yeah?”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“when to take a bloody break.” he huffs, annoyed, and perhaps a touch embarrassed. “i still don’t know how to do that.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

that he is weak, that he is lesser, that he isn’t good enough. that he is just as bad as those he fights to rid the world of, that he is worst. that he is amoral, immoral, that he is unjust and evil and simply a murderer.

he hums. thoughtful. for a moment. “that i can’t take a loss well. which, mind you, is ridiculous – i never lose anyway!”

WRITING SAMPLE

it wasn’t difficult to get the old man to sign his letter – it wasn’t difficult, he’d not needed any convincing, all dirk had to do was thrust the form under his nose, pen in hand and a flat look upon his face: stiff, clunky, the way he only ever is with his father anymore.

the man looks up from the book between his palms, his sharp nose striking, his slanted eyes lifting towards his son. there is a crease between his brows as he pulls the paper from the young boy’s hands, eyes over ink before he asks what this is.

“it’s a permission form.” he sounds nervous. he hates it. “for hogsmeade.” he says, “you’re supposed to sign it.”

and the man signs it. just like that, he reads the paper and he signs it – he hangs on to it for a moment before giving it back. there is something there, something he wants to say, but his father was never good with words and so he says nothing. dirk is pathetically grateful – he never seems to say the right thing when his dad is involved, either.

dirk takes the paper and shifts his weight between his feet and isn’t sure if he should just leave – there is something there he wants to say, as well, but he can’t quite grasp the words and so he mulls about for a moment more, shifting the paper in his hand, before he nods a quick ‘thank you’ and scurries away.

he stuffs the paper in his pocket as he walks away. he stuffs his guilt down too, and tries not to think about it – he’d been avoiding his dad all summer, had only spoken to him now when he needed something, and not for the first time he wonders how it’s gotten this bad. he wonders when it’s gotten so tense between them they can’t share more than a few words before something made someone snap. he wonders what made it so, what caused this wide, gaping chasm to stretch between them – but he can’t think about that without thinking about emptied rooms and funeral marches, so he shakes his head quickly and bursts into Sal’s room.

They have much planned for the rest of the day, and there’s only so much of summer left for them to enjoy.

#Accepted App