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jaegersdevil · 9 months

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boyfriend!eren headcanons pt. 3 *･｡ﾟ

going insane, so i wrote more bf!eren while in a waiting room. because of this, they are a little more......... unhinged

part 1 part 2 part 4 / masterlist

bf!eren's post-game meal is 3 big macs and 2 mcchickens AND a kids nugget meal (he wants to give you the toy that comes with it because he’s cute) but don’t forget dessert!! he sips his *diet* coke as a palate cleanser and then inhales an apple pie

bf!eren will help old people cross the road/down stairs. he is just that type of guy

bf!eren gets a job coaching a kids' basketball team, and that is a canon event

bf!eren carries your belongings in his sweatpants pockets when you’re out together (e.g. your keys, lipbalm/lipgloss, water bottle etc etc you name it, it’s probably in his pockets)

bf!eren’s phone is very simple—a black iphone 14 with a plain black case, but despite it not even being visible, he keeps a photo of you in the back of his phone (so you’re always with him even when he can’t see you)

bf!eren accompanies you to all your appointments (even if he doesn’t have to) but waits in the waiting room (spoiler: he falls asleep most of the time, kinda embarrassing eren pls wake up)

bf!eren gets you a keychain for your birthday to match his own (i fully 103% believe it would be the lego ones (he would get himself batman, and get you spiderman))

bf!eren leaves his dirty ass bigfoot black vans at your front door (a tripping hazard!!), but it feels so domestic and homey that you can’t bring yourself to scold him for leaving them there

bf!eren watches family guy religiously

when bf!eren gets baby fever, he gets it BAD

but bf!eren cannot be trusted with indoor plants 😐 so (please see part 2 for more evidence (cheez-it incident))

bf!eren buys annie's mac and cheese in bulk (read: he is a manchild who loves cheesy pasta 😋)

bf!eren has an emotional support water bottle (a 1-gallon dark green yeti his mum bought him as a college essential). he does not leave that thing anywhere (carla would castrate him :))

bf!eren owns one (1) pen, so he's constantly stealing yours when he has class and tucks it behind his ear so he doesn't forget to give it back to you (warning he does gnaw on the end like a starved dog)

bf!eren showers twice a day even though i make him sound like he does only once a week :) (and the showers are LONG rip water bill)

bf!eren has a spare charger that is for you only at his apartment <3

bf!eren facetimes you from everywhere (like gross bathroom eren wtf i don't want to hear bathroom sounds, and he just :) but i missed u........)

bf!eren kisses you on the cheeks every chance he gets (big sloppy wet kisses that are so (screaming) so cute and loving and i need him)

bf!eren's hands are rough and warm and dry (not like dry, but like man hand working hands dry you know or am i just talking shit)

bf!eren has his own pillow on your bed that he brought from home

bf!eren has half of his belongings in your room, and yours in his (literally just move in together at this point :/ come on guys)

ok ok bf!eren in those prada sunglasses you know the ones. i know i said in part 2 that he has dad speed sunnies, but those prada ones are so ASDFKJHG

bf!eren makes sure you take your meds (if you have them) every morning/night and calls you if he's not with you to ensure you've taken them (he cares!!!! he's not trying to be overbearing or condescending, i promise)

bf!eren has a nintendo switch so he can play his silly little games when he's waiting for you at your apartment to come home from class (his phone and youtube videos get boring after a while (part 1), and studying is not an option so)

i was in that waiting room for a WHILE ok

#i apologise for some of these idk what's going on in my big bad brain - man hand working hands?????????#eren jaeger #attack on titan imagine #attack on titan x reader #eren jaeger imagine #eren jaeger x reader #eren jeager imagines #eren jeager x reader #eren yaeger imagine #eren yaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren yeager x you #eren yeager x reader #— ann writes!

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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year

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OH LORD MAMA TAKE THE WHEEL THISNIS MY LAST ONE.

imagine the boys just got back from a mission and when they enter the base, they found sweetheart cooking their country food for them. The taste is giving ✨SEASONED✨, its giving ✨you want me to marry you✨, its giving ✨that type of food that added 10 years to your life span✨, ITS GIVING ✨YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB AND IM PROUD OF YOU✨

NOOOO NEVER STOP THESE I SWEAR YOU'RE JUST FINE 😍😍🫂🫂 these give me life you have no idea miss roro💕

(@missroro ROROOO GURL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER😭😭 PLS FORGIVE ME I WAS SHADOWBANNED AND THEN OTHER ASKS KEPT POURING IN🧎‍♀️this is quite long, so hopefully you will take that as a sacrifice for my tardiness 🙏I hope you're doing well! I miss you LOTS 💓)

BUT UGHHH GOD

And the FACT that I already have a scenario that's kinda like this blows my mind 🤯🤯

When Sweetheart wasn't needed for this certain mission, she said "aight bet. I know yall are gonna be so damn tired and hungry so watch this WORK."

(Idk if you wanted Sweetheart to cook her home food, or cook their country meals, so imma do both 💀)

Her home-cooked food:

When Task Force 141 came back to the base they smelt that SEASONING IMMEDIATELY LIKE--

Gaz: Something just happened.

I know he's the FIRST to book it to the living room, and then he sees the PLETHORA

GRITS, SWEET YAMS, MAC AND CHEESE, CHICKEN, HAM, GREENS AND OX TAILS, CORNBREAD-- ALL THE GOOD SHIT YOU CAN THINK OOOFFF

Gaz squeals (LITERALLY SQUEALS) cause he's been wanting to taste her cooking.

(He's always asked about African-American cooking since he grew up with British cooking. Sweetheart told him the goodness and he's been hooked on it ever since)

Everyone else comes in and sees the table and they're just in shock

Like what the hell- how long did it take you to make all this?? I love you???

It felt so domestic, like coming home to a home cooked meal after getting off work and seeing your wife smile at you saying "welcome home, dear!"

Sweetheart is just beaming at them, saying "I know yall have been through hell, so have a lil' piece of heaven!" (She's so CHEESY) the mother in her comes thru, telling them to take showers and get situated first then come eat.

WHEN I TELL YOU THAT THEY B O O K E D IT TO THE MENS SHOWERS TO GET CLEAN-- GHOST PUSHED ALEX AND SOAP INTO A WALL SO HE CAN GET THERE FIRST (König and Price were already in there LOL they're witches I swear)

They were done so quickly Sweetheart had to check if some of them were actually clean

Sweetheart: Suds?

Soap, flushed: uhm, yeah?

Sweetheart, eyes squinting: Did you wash yo' ass?

Soap:

Soap: Yes...?

Sweetheart: GO GET CLEANED

Soap: BUT FOOD--

Sweetheart: G O

(Alex and Gaz low key laughing at him and Price is disgusted that Soap sometimes doesn't wash his ass)

They all finally sit down and they just enjoy the warm feeling in their chests while looking at the food. Sweetheart turns on some r&b music (is this a black 80s BET movie? MAYBE) and she walks to the edge of the table, eyes are filled with love and pride for her team. "Aight, I'm gonna keep this short and simple cause I know all yall are hungry and tired," she starts. The team sit on every word she says, as they always do. She smiles. "I'm glad you all made it back safely. Successful mission or not, I will always be proud of all of you. I love yall."

She's too good for them, man. Wtf

They all just fell in love with her more AHA

So she sits down and the chatter and clatter begins. They all moaned so much when they ate the food 💀💀

(They all went into a food coma and had the BEST SLEEP EVER)

(If she made everyone's food from their culture) (I put my whole ass into this wow)

When SAS and Los Vaqueros trudged through the hallway, they heard a clang and a yelping "Ow! Son of a-"

Price and Ghost look at each other before picking up the pace towards the kitchen. "Sweetheart? Are you -" Price freezes when he sees the kitchen filled with different types of food. " - Okay..."

"Oh fuck-- Hey! Yall are back already! That's wonderful." Sweetheart nervously laughs as she wipes her hands on her messy apron. The others start to come in, not expecting the different dishes on the counters. She squeals, "Nah uh! Don't come in here! Go and get cleaned now, all of you!" They stare at her for a bit until sprinting to the Men's Showers. Shouts and loud bangs from falling tact gear are heard, making Sweetheart chuckle and shake her head. Once the men came back to the kitchen, she was gone and so was the food. "In here!" She yelled. Soap made it first to the dining room and let out a big gasp. On the long, make-shift table sat a multitude of different foods and drinks each man recognized from their home country.

"Oh, mo leannan, this looks barry!" Soap exclaims.

"In English, Mactavish." Ghost mumbles, making Soap kiss his teeth. "This looks wonderful, St.! I'm- how did you--" Sweetheart shushes him, Soap still smiling ear to ear. "Don't ask questions! Just come sit down and get your plate."

They all grab a plate and utensils with rushed steps and big smiles.

- 𓆩♡𓆪 -

Price, Ghost, and Gaz sat at the end, where they all recognize the things to make Bangers and Mash. Shepherd's Pie and Fish and Chips could be found on all their plates with a side of Barm cakes. Their dishes melt in their mouths, dragon breathing at every bite since it was still hot. Ghost had a feeling in his chest that he felt extremely warm and overwhelming. He didn't think she would make something like this for him. "How're yall enjoying it?" She asks behind Price. "Umberweivable!" Gaz spouted out, a disbelief and amazed look on his face. Sweetheart laughs at him, "Hopefully, that meant unbelievable!" Gaz nods quickly with big food-filled cheeks. "Absolutely amazing, Princess." Price says after taking a swig of homemade Ginger Beer. "Haven't had Shepherd's Pie and Ginger Beer in so long. Good run down memory lane." Price smiles with soft and grateful eyes. Sweetheart snorts out a laugh and taps her cheek. Price raises an eyebrow until the embarrassment creeps in. He grabs his napkin and wipes the food that was stuck to his cheek. "I'm glad you like it, Cap! It was so hard finding an easy recipe for that damn beer." Sweetheart grumbles, looking at the kitchen with furrowed eyes and hand on Price's shoulder. He leans into her touch and sighs. "All in all, thank you." He murmurs, lifting her hand and placing a kiss on it. Sweetheart giggles, ignoring the heat coming from her hand. "You're very welcome!" She moves to Ghost, who has been quietly shoveling food in his mouth. "Hey Ghost! Are you--" Sweetheart stopped when he looked up at her. Eyes big with tears running down his flushed, stuffed cheeks. His eyes tick away from her changed face. "What...?" Simon whispers. She gives him a soft smile as one of her hands wipes off his tears. He didn't even notice the tears falling... "You enjoying the food?" She asks softly. Oh, that tone. That tone she uses only for Simon. He shivers, nodding his head slowly and then laying on her hip. She coos, wrapping her hand around his head while giving him head scratches to calm him down. You're alright, Simon. She's saying through her touch. Enjoy yourself.

Soap was practically vibrating in his chair when he saw a pitcher of Scottish Ale next to a big pot of Cullen Skink and an array of Scotch Pies with small Bacon Butties on the side. He did a double take when he saw a dish filled with Stovies and fried cut potatoes. Just how he ate it when he was younger. He lets out a disbelieved laugh as he reaches for it. "St.!" He calls out to her. She comes over with a worried look. "Wassup Suds? Everything okay?" He looks up at her with glassy eyes and a smile, nudging the Stovies. Sweetheart snickers, "I told you I would make it! I remember you tellin' me that your...màthair? Or-- mudder- damn I forgot how to say it-- but ya mom use to make this for you! So I looked up a recipe and may have added some of my extra spice to it." She explains as she whispers and laughs that last part. He can't believe that she remembers that. He told her that when he met her; telling her all the different Scottish cuisines. "I hope it tastes good..." She mumbles to herself. She cares. Soap grabs his spoon and collects some of the dish. She cares so much. Memories going through his mind when he chews it. She cares too much. "It's delicious." Soap whimpers out. Sweetheart smiles as she bends down to hug him. "I'm glad you like it."

Alejandro exclaims loudly when he takes a bite of his abundantly covered Elote. Rudy chuckles at him, taking another big ladel of Pancita and putting it in his bowl. "Hey guys, are you- WOW," Sweetheart yells. "You guys really ate almost everything! The Tamales and Flautas are gone..." Alejandro hums as he swallows. "So is the Ceviche and the Pipián." They both laugh at Sweetheart's surprised face. "Yall were hungry!!"And we still are, mama!" Alejandro snickers, taking more bites of his corn. "Mi flor, how did you make some of these dishes? And by yourself?" Rudy asks. He's so proud of her. He feels like he's back at home. "Oh, I had some help! Kinda-- some of the rookies helped me make the dishes! But then I kicked them out cause they were getting on my nerves." Sweetheart said, making the men laugh. "I knew you were a good cook. You would make a good wife someday, Sweetheart!" Alejandro shouted out as he smiled. Her shy laugh made him feel warm, but he wants his statement to come true.

König wanted to cry. He hasn't seen such a big pan of Tiroler Gröstl in a while. A basket of Kaiser Rolls is next to some Kasnocken and a pot full of Potato Gulasch. He scratches the brown hood he has on. Sweetheart made it for him so he could wear it when he's on base, since his other one was stinking up the joint. He watches Krueger take a big bite of his food and gulp down his drink that tastes like Almdudler. He's also wearing a hood that Sweetheart made for him; light blue fabric and handmade yellow stars scattered around it. It's scrunched up to his nose, his scarred lips still munching on his roll. He seems to be enjoying himself. König hasn't eaten with Krueger ever since they were kids. The impact on Krueger's actions in the past really changed everything for König and the family. But at least they're bonding in silence. "Hey, you two! Enjoying the food?" Sweetheart asks. Sweetheart. "Yes, meine kleine Göttin. It's very tasty." Krueger compliments her. She giggles, but it's cut short when Krueger grabs her arm and kisses her cheek. "Thank you for this wonderful feast, my love." He whispers in her ear with a smirk. Her mind goes blank for a moment, the heat of the kiss still searing on her brown skin. König grips his fork hard, turning his knuckles white. She sputters and then loudly laughs. "Yeah! No- no problem! I uh, König? How you uh, you enjoying the food?" He looks down at his plate, still quite full of food, yet not feeling like eating any of it anymore. König smiles with his eyes. "I am, Schatz. Thank you."

Horangi was enjoying himself to the fullest. Slurping down some Jajangmyeon with korean fried chicken and Kimchi fried rice with an egg. It reminds him so much of his mother's cooking, and when he didn't receive any Valentine's Day gifts so he would eat the noodles on Black Day. He blows on the noodles, the steam fogging up his black sunglasses. He wishes his past choices didn't bring him to this point. To be reminded of what he had, and now it's gone. He drank some of his soda, causing a big burp outta him. "You seem to be enjoying it, Horangi!" But without all his choices, he wouldn't have met her. He chuckles, covering his heavily scarred smile with his hand. Her warm hand snakes around his, gently pulling it down. She wants to see his smile. Her eyes sparkle at seeing his half-uncovered face. He's so pretty... "You like the noodles? M'sorry if I got the sauce wrong, I think I forgot some ingredients--" Horangi shakes his hand up. "No, no! It's perfect. The black bean sauce is amazing. I almost finished the whole pot." He's extremely impressed by her, but the cold feeling in his spine is wanting him to put the mask back on. Sweetheart squeals and claps, "Oh wonderful! I'm so glad you like it! By the way.." She leans down to hug his frozen form. "I hope to see your smile again. It's very pretty." She says. He is not grateful for his past choices, but he is grateful for her.

Alex and Roach enjoy their food in comfortable, happy silence. Alex hasn't had a decent cheeseburger since his leave. He dips a crinkle cut fry in ketchup, while Roach enjoys a big Maine Crab Roll. He's never tasted one before, but he always has, ever since Sweetheart gave him a postcard with the Roll on it, it's been his dream to taste one. "Yo, Alex! How's the burger?" Sweetheart asks, walking up to the both of them. Alex hums with a smile on his face. "You can't go wrong with a cheeseburger unless it's from a dirty bar." Sweetheart laughs, "Amen to that! And you're you doing, Gare Bear? Ya like the roll?" She asks sweetly. Roach can feel his face heat up from the nickname. He puts it down, finally taking breaths from horking it down non-stop, and putting two thumbs up. Her bright smile made both of them feel warm inside.

Graves sighs. His bones and joints hurt so damn bad. That mission with everyone was successful but it always costed some type of labor pain. He went to his dorm, already clean and changed into casual clothes. He could've sworn he heard laughing on the other side of the base... It didn't matter to him. All he wanted to do was to sleep off this pain. He notices a big plate covered in tin foil and a small note plus a coke-a-cola on his door mat. His eyes scan down the hall way with confused brows. Is he being pranked by one of his shadows? He better not be, he doesn't have the patience for it- Oh it's from Sweetheart. Wait- "What?" Graves mumbles, eyeing the messy note. The note reads:

Hey Graves. Congrats on the successful mission

Made you some dinner cause I'm pro proo pri PROU FUCK proud of you. That is the only time I'm gonna say that to you and it's not even in person. Doesn't matter, enjoy the food

Sweetheart ♡ (p.s. you still an asshole and NO I did NOT put laxatives in your food this time)

He huffs out a chuckle with a wobbly smile. So she does care for him. In a-- weird, hateful way. He walks in his dorm with food and drink in hand and opens the tin foil, the smell of barbecue baby back ribs, steamed carrots, buttered rolls and mashed potatoes fill his nostrils. His mouth waters immediately as he sits in his desk chair. He digs in with the utensils that Sweetheart gave him, his mind immediately going to his repeated fantasy about having a family with Sweetheart. Her, serving him a big plate of food with their baby boy on her hip. She kisses Graves's forehead and situates their son in the high chair before she starts to eat as well. A happy smile works on his face, not feeling the tears streaming down his cheeks. A happy family. "It's delicious..."

- 𓆩♡𓆪 -

After Dinner Bonus!

"Hey, no one go ANYWHERE! Yall are helping me clean all this shit up!" Sweetheart points out with a frown. Soap laughs, "Of course, hen! Why wouldn't we?"

"You did a lot for us, Princess. We'll take care of everything now. Go and take a load off." Price says close to her. Very close to her. "Nah, I can help!" Sweetheart pushed. "Your shoulder has been bothering you, hasn't it?" Ghost said, making Sweetheart flinch. "Why you gotta call me out like that, man?" Sweetheart whined. He was right, though. She's been rotating her left shoulder from time to time, playing it off every time one of the boys asked about it.

Alejandro laughs, placing his hand on her hip. His thumb doing small circles on her thin clothing. Rudy and Krueger strolled towards Sweetheart. Rudy wore a soft smile, yet his eyes told a different story. A more mischievous story. Alejandro's voice dropped an octave, making a hot jolt spike through Sweetheart's spine. "Come now, mama. I know just what to do to help you relax."

°.Reblogs are highly appreciated.! Thank you for your support everyone!!

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vinnianlovesdinosaurs · 1 month

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House of the Dragon Hot Take #6

I think it's time to voice my opinions on a few things that include both teams because I feel like in most of these posts I'm just blatantly staying neutral so here we go 😮‍💨

Joffrey Lonmouth and Vaemond Velaryon getting murdered - Both terrible injustices and a blatant display of ignorance from Daemon and Criston Cole. Neither should be celebrated or seen as "cool."

Daemon and Rhaenyra - Not a good ship at all I'm sorry. To be honest I don't think any ship involving Daemon is a good one because he's abusive, neglectful, selfish, and a pedophile.

Rhaenyra and Alicents victim-hood - Should not be compared in any way shape or form. They are both victims in their own right and they BOTH deserve better.

Blood and Cheese - I know most Team Green AND Team Black stans agree with me on this one because it was absolutely unforgivable. Daemon had an innocent child beheaded. Let's not ignore that a rape threat was used against a little girl and a distressed mother.

THE Driftmark incident - Both parties were in the wrong in their own ways here. Aemond didn't deserve to lose his eye, Lucerys didn't deserve practically having a death threat made towards him by full grown adults and his uncle who knew better than him, Rhaenyra didn't deserve to have her arm sliced open, Aegon didn't deserve to have the blame placed on him and he especially didn't deserve to be hit for it, and Alicent didn't deserve to be cast aside like that and ignored.

Laena's Funeral (Pre- Aemond becoming One-eyed) - Honestly justice for my precious girl Laena because WTF even was that mess of a funeral? Her uncle was spewing vitriol at literal children during the ceremony, her husband laughed and was practically eye-fucking his niece, and then Daemon and Rhaenyra end up fucking like three hours later?? 😭

Viserys I Targaryen - I hate this man. He was a shit father to all of his children. He was a shit husband to both of his wives. He was a shit king. He was a shit friend. He was a shit brother. A PEDOPHILE JUST LIKE HIS MF BROTHER !! AND HE'S A RAPIST !! #Viserys should have died sooner

Aegon II, Aemond, Helaena, Daeron, Rhaena, Baela, Aegon III, Viserys II, Jacaerys, Lucerys, and Joffrey - Honestly, I sympathize with every single one of these children. They were all raised in terrible environments with immature people all around them. Most of them were practically abused.

Harwin Strong - Justice for my man. He loved Rhaenyra, Larys, Lyonel, Jacaerys, Lucerys, and Joffrey with all his heart.

Laenor Velaryon - JUSTICE FOR MY MAN!!! He was ridiculed, bullied, and blatantly used almost every day of his life for who he was. His lover was murdered right in front of him, his selfish ass father refused to accept him, and he had jokes made about his sexuality while he was grieving his dead sister that he didn't get to see for 10 years.

Rhaenyra and Criston Cole - The whole fucking situation grossed me out tbh. I understand Rhaenyra was under the influence and confused from what just happened to her but she practically coerced Criston.

Aemma Arryn and Rhea Royce - Justice for my wives ASAP!! Aemma was used as a breeding mule and Rhea was murdered by her weirdo fucking husband.

The Iron Throne - In my true opinion, I do agree that Rhaenyra was the rightful heir, but in truth neither her or Aegon were good rulers in their own ways. AT ALL.

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stinkgh · 1 year

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Zelda TOTK gameplay (Nintendo Direct 3.28.23)

First, what I think is the most important clip of the whole presentation:

Sky Islands: Islands scattered across the sky. I think the Skyward Sword references are too easy to see at this point. I love the way you can get knocked off the islands and just dive like SS. You can see the whole map 🥺

Zonai Charge: this dropped after the sky island machine was beaten. could this be the mysterious green glow? Is this what powers Link's new arm abilities? Also shown throughout the trailer are items like fans that seem to run on a battery. I wonder if this could be the battery source or could be used to recharge these items?

Soldier Construct Item: could these function as the Guardian parts did in BOTW? The "construct" part makes me wonder if we can use them to build things.

The Golden Trees: it was mentioned that these trees are not the same as the ones on the surface as they can only be found in the Sky Islands. I wonder what their significance is and why are they so special?

The Zonai are Back: Glad to see the Zonai mentioned and in the foreground. I'm theorizing the Zonai and the Shiekah are distantly related to one another. I think it'd be really interesting to see another tribe that can do "magic" like the Shiekah have done in Zelda lore.

New abilities shown:

1) Recall- reverses an object's movement through time. Demonstrated by reversing this rock's path to gain access to the sky islands

2) Fuse- combines two objects into one. Demonstrated by combining both melee weapons and arrows with environmental objects like rocks and wood and also by using gathered materials like mushrooms and monster parts. Specifically notable are the keese eyes combined with arrows to make them never miss the shot; and the puff mushroom combined with the shield that throws up a smokescreen when hit.

3) Ultrahand- use to stick and unstick objects together. Demonstrated by creating a makeshift raft. Also noted how you can change the objects directions like the fans they used can be tilted downward as well to create an upward draft.

4) Ascend- Link can swim through ceilings basically. "There are some limitations" but basically it's a way to cheese cliffs without using stamina

Personally I think the Fuse ability is gonna be so broken. I was floored when they showed the keese arrows like wtf that's almost cheating. Instant/backup elemental arrows at the drop of a hat now. More shenanigans with things like the korok leaf. Fuse also seems to mess with durability and damage output as well. They showed the tree branch + boulder as increased durability and damage, but I wonder if there would ever be a combo that would decrease the original weapon's stats? I also wonder if things like the fire/ice/thunder keese wings would add elemental power to weapons? Royal Claymore + thunder keese wing? Fkn broken.

#tloz #loz #legend of zelda #zelda #the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk #tloz totk #loz totk #the legend of zelda tears of the kingdom

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a0random0gal · 6 months

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They want helaena to go to more rapists ? Rhae*yra da*mon Dalton are rapists rhaenyra would litreally kill her kids and give her away to Dalton for sure or any man with lower statue

Rh*enyra stans need to wake up and admit their queen is the queen of rapists since she is allied with one and allowed one and raped criston

Yeah I really don't get this odd belief that everything horrible that happened to Helaena could have been prevented if only she had gone with Nyra wtf? My girl already has to suffer through her loveless marriage with Aegon, she really doesn't need to risk her children's lives for a sister that wouldn't bat an eye at her death.

Personally I'm not sure if the brothel queens plan was seriously considered or just a cruel rumor. In spite of all the beef I have with Rhaenyra I don't really see her as someone who could do such a thing to Hel.

Don't get me wrong she's pretty awful in her own way, but I don't believe she's the kind of person who would torture someone like this.

Especially if by going to her Hel has practically given her a massive advantage.

In case Helaena actually betrayed her family for Nyra I think she would have preferred to keep her as a hostage with Jaehaera against the greens. It would make a lot more sense.

Maelor and Jaehaerys would be killed regardless though.

According to fire and blood the one who actually proposed the disgusting plan was Mysaria, to get back at Alicent for calling the strong boys bastards.

Honestly the tale is already hard to believe cause it was told by mushroom, but knowing that Mysaria was also behind blood and Cheese does make more credible.

Lmao she and Daemon really belonged to one another.

Regarding the queen of rapists thing... I doubt she allied with Dalton because of the heinous way he treated his salt wives. She asked him to join her side simply because she didn't want the iron fleet against her and knew that the young Lord would loove to raid the Green Westerlands and sack Lannisport. It was a coincidence that she ended up with some very morally dubious people on her side (except the Starks).

Also I've always considered her relationship with Criston sexual coercion rather that outright rape. It's pretty close to being rape but still not the same thing.

#god i reaaaly don't like Mysaria #there's a reason she and Daemon got along so well #gross little sadists #house of the dragon #hotd #pro team green #rhaenyra targaryen #Myaria #Anti Daemon Targaryen #alicent hightower #Helaena targaryen #Jaehaera targaryen #Jaehaerys targaryen #Maelor targaryen #anti team black #asks

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stickthinks · 3 months

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hi :]

i'm green, but you can call me cheese. any pronouns

art tag: #stickdraws

AVA/M AU LIST

please send me ask about them

Main Au (what i think happened in the canon. you can send ask to the characters)

Crash Landing Au (chosen and dark hide from the cops on alanspc)

Stick Fight: the Game Au (SFTG is an alternate timeline where the color gang never met Orange. au!Yellow messes with the black hole gun and they get stuck in the normal timeline for a bit. second and alan still became friends and orange has to deal with everything that was supposed happen, by himself. He discovers his powers very early on.)

Origins Mod Au (ava/m but minecraft origins mod. Sec, Cho, Dark-blazeborn, Green-merling, Blue-avian, Yellow-enderian, Red-shulk, Purple-elytrian, Gold, Vic-phantoms, Alan, King-humans.)

Cartoon Vigilante Au (Inspired by @dynamic-k's Super Sticks fic. Cho & Dark are bad guys, alan is a local hero and also their dad, sec knows all this and is just vibing while slowly discovering his own powers, and gives RYGB powers after a sleepover. They all decide that they want to save the day and do crime, so they become vigilantes, and chaos ensues.)

Burnout Au (Bad timeline where Orange couldn’t fully restore his friends so now they're all ghosty and cling to orange and possess him sometimes. Second is using his powers non-stop to keep them all in one piece, which drains himself extremely, hence the name "burnout." alan and chosen are doing their best to help him.)

Alan Squared Au (uhm. c!alan gets isekai-ed into stick realm au, but also time-funkery shinanigans- pre-ava 4 c!alan is there too. Present Alan going through a mental crisis, meanwhile Past Alan is speedrunning his character development 'cause he's watching a bunch of rainbow sticks freaking out at his existance and also those guys fighting outside are supposed to be dead wtf is going on???)

#animator vs animation #animation vs minecraft #stickspeaks

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angeladore · 2 years

Text

giving them fake orders in a drive through

Characters:: Brothers x GN!Reader

Genre:: crack

Warning:: swearing!

✉️:: lmao this was a request from a while ago, i accidentally deleted the ask though. [also the ask showed which orders to come up with, they were pretty interesting]

001:: LUCIFER

— this man stares at you with a raised eyebrow, MC wtf is a “Minion Steak with a Spicy Ball Popper Soda”?

— tells the drive through worker that horrendous order you wanted, when the worker says thats not a item he glares at you

— he just drove through the drive through and didn’t order anything, he got grumpy and his pride shot down :(

— will give you a 2 hour lecture about making him order stupid items that aren’t real.

002:: MAMMON

— Mammon actually thinks that a “rainbow fruity milkshake and a top vegan pancake with pickle juice” is a thing and wants to try it as well

— ordered it confidentially too, when the lady asked what that is he repeated it

— he thought the lady was just being rude and decided to drive through and take you to a different restaurant

— “Next time we should go to a different location and see if they got it! Ya agree?”

— if you don’t tell him its a joke, he will literally go half way around the world to get that meal.

003:: LEVIATHAN

— first off, leviathan is too scared to even order so you have to order for him

— what he didn’t expect though was for you to order a totally different thing then what he wanted

— “He will get the Prickly Cactus Drink with a side of among us and minion shaped hashbrowns.”

— turned neon red when you ordered that while the worker stared at him, almost judging him

— he slowly slid down his seat, avoiding their gaze

— please get him what he actually wanted, he’s a bit hurt now

004:: SATAN

— funny of you to actually try to trick him, he knows better

— “Hello, they would like to order a “Red Amongus Imposter.”

— again the worker was having a bad day and decided to take it out on you two by saying “Stop saying stupid things and order properly or we won’t serve you.”

— satan took that a bit too serious and started cursing her out, you had to stop him before the whole place was destroyed

— was kind of mad at you , but it was a funny prank he could use on Lucifer one day.

005:: ASMODEUS

— MC that sounds disgusting, what even is a “double gulp cheese burger sided with a dirty green sea soup”

— ordered it anyways, was embarrassed when she said to repeat it, he turned to you and you whispered that she didnt hear him right

— repeats it but is double embarrassed when its silent and a laugh

— he never left a drive through so quick in his life

— scolded you a bit for it but got you a different meal from another place

006:: BEELZEBUB

— when you told beel you wanted to order a “a rainbow ball drop refresher” he was confused

— poor boy kept repeating it until the worker told him to stop playing around, he looked at you and gave you puppy eyes

— you had to give him a hug to cheer him up and order a actual drink

— he was happy once you guys got your actual drinks, and when you told him it was a joke he laughed a bit

007:: BELPHEGOR

— is confused when you said you wanted a “Shake Dat Azz MilkShake”

— he tells you that isn’t on the menu, when you tell him its a secret item he nods his head, humans are really weird.

— the worker started laughing when he heard Belphie order a “shake dat ass milkshake”

— belphie stared at you, and told you to give him a actual order

— when you told him it is a real order he ordered it again, getting declined he decided to waste your time, falling asleep in the middle of the drive through

— almost got banned from there all because he decided to sleep.

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atbussysparks · 9 months

Text

As the official southern scout irl, here's some 💯% accurate headcanons 🦅🦅🦅🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲

His body rejects his French blood like it's a disease so he has a constant stomach ache

1/4 Jewish and 1/4 Mexican. He was really pale before the war

His mom is totally Fran Drescher.

ADHD, and has an Oral fixation. If you told him that he'd go "huhuhuh, oral."

Coughed up blood on three separate occasions and coughed up glitter once

He has a metric shit ton of vintage comics, but he's dyslexic

He keeps pinups on his ceiling and everytime pyro barges into his room he has to shove them into a hole in the ceiling like it's fuckin fahrenheit 451

Owns a crust jacket that got hit with a firework and caught on fire at one point.

If cut open his organs glow BRIGHT green. He makes engineers Geiger counter go crazy

Does a ridiculous Beavis impression

Randomly does ballet poses just because he can. He also cannot do actual ballet.

Got sent to a troubled teens camp for two years until he was 14 and his mom and brothers busted him out, and the facility ate shit seven years later and he drank absinthe to celebrate.

Eats random shit he shouldn't eat. He ate a car mirror disco ball. He ate a lovebug. He gnawed on the edge of a table. There was a pinecone found in his stomach before respawning. Where the fuck did he get a pinecone??? THEYRE IN THE DESERT

When he was 9 he Got stuck in one of his brothers' lowrider after it flipped over For 13 minutes. His brother flipped it back over and They never talked about it again

Tried to microwave a bag of gummy worms to make one big "wormo gum" it caught on fire

Sniper asked him if he wanted some marmite and got tackled for saying "marmite? But pa might not!"

Fucking loves mushrooms. It has to be spelled out when talking about it so he doesn't freak out. Someone has to distract scout if someone else is making mushrooms

Got lost in the rain with one of his brothers for FOUR HOURS in his PJs. Still made it in time for a doctor's appointment.

He thinks medics trying to put bombs in him

If scout coughs or laughs or trains too hard he gets violent pains in his side torso, and has to sit and breathe for a bit. Spy, medic, and heavy notice the most. Spy can't bring themself to stay in the room when they see it. Heavy lays his hand on his chest to weigh him down, and stop him from trembling. Medic asks him if he "wants some good strain"

He wants some good strain but detests smoking. He and medic have tried desperately to attain edibles.

Banned from wearing short-shorts because his dumbass can't act right. Refuses to sit legs closed. Brags about his buff fucking linebacker legs. He gets fish-hooked by the leg skin in battle. He ate a pair because he lost a bet.

Can't sleep around box fans because he heard they can kill you

Soldier opened the doors to the shower once and found scout in there, fully clothed, as a huge cloud of red/black smoke billowed out of the room and blinded him. He never found out wtf happened in there. The only time he asked scout just said "my bad, you peeped the horrors." he never asked again.

Lactose intolerant but desperately in love with mac n cheese. That might actually be the reason why his stomach hurts.

Joined the gravel wars when he was actually 19 but letting that get out would get him killed, because the higher ups are only allowed to hire people 25 and up. So, he turned 21 he told everyone he turned 27.

Watched cujo and he cried for the dog, because he has a huge saint Bernard at home

Probably kins cujo because he had rabies

His hat (called a fisherman or fiddle that btw) has has the word "gorm" and a picture of Garfield embroidered on the inside

Wears a giant fuckin muumuu to sleep. No matter where he is or what's going on, if he's wearing the muumuu he can sleep.

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blueberrybladelemonade · 8 months

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Sergal Tower / Merp Tower

🍕🧀New PizzaTower Au. Everyone's a sergal now. Aka cheese wedge head race. The end.🍕🧀

Don't take this seriously lol. I just wanted to jumpscare everyone into thinking I was also jumping on the PT AU bandwagon.

But uh...if anyone actually does wanna draw art of these go for it, sergal ref below in case any mad lad actually likes this.

Ideas nonetheless. Actually tried to make the bosses interesting tho.

Peppino: Still anxious and angry and has a pizzeria and same clothes. But as a sergal. Very original lol. Oh yeah, tail tip has no fluff on it. Also one arm is black, the other's white.

Gustavo and Brick: Gustavo is a very short sergal, still rides Brick to get around(still a rat? Probably)

Chilipepper: Red sergal that uses his comically fluffy tail as a paintbrush. Ears and lower arms are green.

Swiss Sheriff/Sheriff Swiss: Cheese sergal, tail and arms/legs have holes in it like swiss cheese (think changelings from MLP: FiM). Still has a cowboy hat. Pale yellow and cream color. Uses a pistol still, can grab you with his tail instead of the flamethrower part of the fight.

The Merp: White and grey sergal that wears a bargain bin looking ass cheese costume. Red eyes. Uses bombs and bites

Fake Peppino: Basically just a fucked up goopy version of Peppino. But a sergal. Oh yeah, and he has a frog tongue/attacks with that a lot.

PizzaWedge: Tall, same clothes, face looks like a piece of pizza (not hard since sergals have a cheese wedge head already lol). Hair/mane is string cheese with pepperoni in it. Part of muzzle is red/pizza sauce.

For anyone that has no idea wtf a sergal is (It's what Cae is).

Edit: I love you guys but why are you liking this??? 😭😂💜

#I'm just making a 🫐s h i t p o s t🫐#Sergal Tower #Merp tower #pizza tower au #pizza tower #sergal

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prismaticpichu · 9 months

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Updated Master List!

Howdy!!! Hope you’re having an awesome day! I thought it was high-time to do an updated Masterlist of all my little thingies! If y’all don’t know who I am and wondering wtf is on your dash, I’ma little gremlin who loves to write FF7: Crisis Core-centric stories :33 If you do know who I am, you know that Zack & Sephiroth dominate almost every individual sentence that my keyboard produces. Either way, I’m shoving this in your face!

Thank you so much forever and always for giving me a safe place to share my stuff!! <33

~~~

✨ Pichu’s Writing ✨

The Bonds That Kept Me Sane Universe - A universe revolving around the unbreakable friendship between Sephiroth & Zack Fair! Stories are extremely floofy and filled with a lot of heart! You will find a needle or two in there, but for the most part, this is the safe side of town <33

1. Blazes & Bullets (10 chap/10) - Zack refuses to accept that his friend has gone insane, and instead decides to try and break through rather than fight against him (later rewritten as Candle in the Rain- really recommend reading that instead xD).

2. Wish - Sephiroth doesn’t know it’s his birthday.

3. Procedure - Sephiroth’s brutal memories of getting his wing.

4. Surrogate - Zack is homesick; Sephiroth remedies this.

5. Snow Angel - Snowball fight!

6. Guard Dog - Zack retrieves his sick friend from Hojo’s lab.

7. From My Eyes - Zack is mourning over Angeal

8. Movie Night - It’s literally a movie night, mate.

9. A Silver Veil - Sephiroth doesn’t like Halloween; Zack absolutely does.

10. Daylight - Sephiroth accompanies Zack to visit Aerith.

11. I’ll Name the Dogs - Zack comes home from a solo mission.

12. Green-Eyed Reindeer - Sephiroth goes home with Zack to spend Christmas in Gongaga.

13. Let Sleeping Puppies Lie - Sephiroth wonders why Zack left his favorite toy behind on a mission.

14. The Art of Distraction - Zack doodles during working hours.

15. Purify - Following the events of Nibelheim, Zack solaces his broken best friend.

16. Enter the Plush Dragon - It’s Zack’s birthday! Sephiroth needs to find a present stat.

17. Don’t Cry Over Spilled Coffee - Early in their friendship, a small mistakes causes a small fight.

18. Shedding Coats - Zack & Sephiroth swap clothes for the fun of it!

19. You Ain’t Nothing but a Hound Dog! (2 chaps/?) - Zack is turned into an actual puppy, and now he and Sephiroth have to fix that little pickle.

20. On Pins and Needles - Zack walks in on an unexpected hobby.

21. Scissors - Zack discovers his friend’s wing, and what it symbolizes to him.

22. It’s the Best Medicine - Zack remembers the first time he heard Sephiroth laugh.

23. How to Save a Life - Zack finally thanks his friend for saving him from Ifrit.

24. The Zack & Sephiroth Safe Haven - A collection of originally-deleted works I put together because I regretted taking them down; all of these take place in the same universe, consisting of:

Just Your General Soup - Sephiroth gets the sniffles

Irreplaceable - A misunderstanding breaks Sephiroth’s heart.

Songs of Silence - Zack is away in Junon, and things are too quiet in the office.

The Cozy Caretaker - Zack’s a little sick; fic is bite-sized.

The Bright Side of White - Angeal comes to visit his old puppy in his sleep.

Cereal Killer - A 7-yo Zack discovers his hero on the back of a cereal box.

Dream Catcher - Zack & Sephiroth share nightmares about the other.

Candle in the Rain - This is what I was talking about! An updated version of Blazes & Bullets that ACTUALLY takes “Sephiroth not being too happy about the Jenova Project” into account; same plot and outcome, with Zack trying to break through to a mind-controlled evil Sephiroth.

Say Cheese! - Zack accidentally gets Sephiroth’s coat dirty.

Paths Ahead - Sephiroth is thinking about the future; Zack assures him they’ll always be together.

Under My Wing - Following the events of Modeoheim, Sephiroth vows to take care of the broken puppy left behind.

Sandwiched Between Society - Sephiroth eats Oreos wrong.

Palentines Day - Zack celebrates Valentine’s Day with his very platonic pal.

Cat’s in the Cradle - Sephiroth thinks his slitted eyes make him a monster; Zack is there to assure him otherwise.

25. Catch You Letter - Sephiroth goes into panic mode after finding a love letter written by Zack

26. Are You For Teal? - (An AU of this universe) - Zack develops a little something in his heart while taking a magazine quiz with Sephiroth

27. Lightning - Zack comforts his rattled friend after Sephiroth relives a horrible memory

Traffic Cones on the Highway to Arson - Disjointed fics that revolve around the sole purpose of keeping Nibelheim flame-free!!

1. Fragments - Before Sephiroth can reach the library, Zack stops him right in the Nibelheim mountains.

2. To Soothe the Savage Beast - Zack has a clever solution to get Sephiroth to fall asleep in the manor.

3. Sephiroth’s Pet Rock - Sephiroth gets a pet rock. This cures his depression.

4. Call to Action - All it took was one single phone call to save the day

5. The Inns and Outs of Things - A last-minute confession at the Nibelheim inn changes the course of history.

Miscellaneous, uncategorized fics! - Fics that don’t fall into either category and are purely just Ideas™️ brought to life!

1. Angeal and the Kitty Crisis - Hollander’s clone machine malfunctions.

2. Paw-Padded Calamity (10 chap/10) - Zack finds a lost little Pichu in the slums. May revive the sequel if I decide to continue!

3. Treasure - Masamune breaks.

4. Study Buddy - A time traveling Zack warns his younger self not to leave Him alone in the library.

5. The Thirst for Knowledge - Sephiroth passes out from dehydration and wakes up in Cloud’s childhood bed.

6. Take Your Best (Mug) Shot - J-cell purging coffee!

#sephiroth #ffvii #zack fair #crisis core #fangirl #pichu writing #fanfic #angeal hewley #genesis rhapsodos #professor hojo #masterlist #ao3 #cloud strife #weenie hut jrs #ff7 fanfic

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c0ke4ngel · 4 months

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So while at work it was slow, so instead of eating something I made a list of all my safe fds and their cal content(plus portions) for future reference. This is what I usually eat and are under 300 cals, from least to the greatest.

Pickles- 20 for a serving

Black olives- 35 per cup

Fruit crisps- 45 for one bag

White cheddar babybel cheese- 70 for one wheel

Green olives- 80 per cup

Oikos triple zero yogurt- 90 per cup

Can of tuna in water - 90 per can

Cup of peaches- 100 per cup

Bananas- 105 for one medium

Mini pretzels- 110 for 19 pieces

Pack of 2 hard boiled eggs- 120( but I don't usually eat the yolk so probably less)

Dukes green hatch chili jerky stick- 130 for the whole thing

Tomato soup+ crackers- 130 for the whole thing

Goldfish- 140 for 55 pieces

Cup of cap'n crunch cereal- 150 per cup

Panino meat and cheese thingies- 150 per package

Skinny pop popcorn- 150 for the whole bag

Cup of oatmeal- 160 per cup

Cheeto puffs simply(white cheddar)- 160 for 32 pieces

Oreo vanilla yogurt cup- 170 per cup

P3 protein pack with turkey, dark chocolate nut clusters and cheese- 170 for the whole thing

Core power protein shake-170 per bottle

Cup of honey nut Cheerios- 190 per cup

Campbell's chunky chicken noodle soup cup- 200 per cup

Belvita biscuits- 220 for the whole package(4 cookies)

Power crunch protein wafer thingy- 220 per package

Loacker chocolate wafers- 240 for the whole pack

Kinder bueno- 240 for the whole pack

Small lunchables- 250 for the whole pack

Tube of mini M&M's-250 per tube

Clif bar- 260 per bar

Oscar Mayer ham, cheese and crackers trays- 270 for the whole tray

Cheeto Puffs small bag- 280 for the whole bag

Cheesewich(I know wtf 💀)- 280 for the whole thing

Cup of rice pudding - 290 per cup

Chilled vanilla starbucks coffee drink-290 for the whole bottle

I think I'll do a list for at home too since it's a little different

#tw ana diary #bonespø #low cals #pro recovery #⭐️ving #ed not sherran #tw cals #ed meals #mealsp0

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mammonsdabloon · 1 year

Text

Obey Me! as my quote book #2

Warnings: swearing, nsfw-ish? Really just vulgar jokes

———————————————

Mammon: “DID I-? Holy shit I just got a paper cut from a McDonald’s fries container.”

————————————————

Asmo: “how you gon have no green card OR v-card? 😐”

————————————————

Mammon: “I wish coffee made my day better. Instead, I cry over how much I spent on said coffee as I drink it.”

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Levi: “people with depression are like legos, they break down or they stick together.”

Solomon: “secret third option where they break down together :).”

————————————————

Belphie: “oooo look a caprisun!”

Beel: “that’s mine I claimed it.”

Belphie: “since when?”

Beel: “since a few days ago.”

moments later

Beel, in demon form: “BITCH YOU HAD YOUR SHARE.”

Belphie: “bitch you know you gotta chug when it’s a caprisun.”

————————————————

Lucifer: “put your phone away before I have to start killing people.”

————————————————

Lucifer: “fucking mammon.”

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Solomon: “oh! It was mr krabs birthday yesterday!”

MC, on the verge of tears: “wHy dO yoU kNoW thAt?!”

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Thirteen: “ITS ALWAYS THE PEOPLE THAT BLAST THEIR MUSIC ON BIG ASS SPEAKERS THAT GOT THE WORST MUSIC TASTE!”

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Satan: “I’m trying to be a good person….it’s failing miserably.”

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Thirteen to Solomon: “that man is a fuckin’ ODDITY.”

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Lucifer: “I’m gonna be 52 when I turn 18.”

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Beel: “you have more water at home.”

Luke: “actually no I don’t that was our last bottle.”

Belphie: “you got a sink right?”

————————————————

Solomon: “are you one of them queerrrssss”

————————————————

Everyone (except raph 😭) with Solomon’s food: “THIS TASTE LIKE HOPSCOTCH AND LARGO MEDICAL.”

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Solomon: “Lucifer, bestie.”

Asmo: *GASP*

Asmo: “YOU MOTHERFUCKER.”

————————————————

Satan: “BELPHIE! My favorite quiet kid!”

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Levi: “SEIIEJDJEJDKDJWJDBJDE I- I- I AM GOING TO PUNCH. A. DONKEYYYY.”

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Luke: “I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW FUCKING TALL LUCIFER IS. IMA YOINK HIM. IMA YOINK HIS HEIGHT.”

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Levi: “I DONT SEND HIM DICK PICS ON PLAYSTATION!”

Satan: “YES YOU DO.”

————————————————

Beel: “I drank bong water.”

Belphie: “you drank bong water…?”

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Solomon: “Master has given dobby legal documents!”

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Lucifer to Mammon: “I need you to stop infecting my fucking vocabulary.”

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Solomon: “does anyone have any water that isn’t watered down?”

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Levi, about life: “I don’t like this arc.”

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Asmo: “I know 💕”

Mephisto: “don’t you fucking 💕 me.”

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Raphael: *rises from the dead* “I am, Abraham Lincoln.”

Thirteen: “WHAT? WTF DOES THAT MEAN?? YOU RISE FROM THE DEAD AND THINK OF A FUCKING PENNY?!”

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Mammon: “g’s are weird in words ok! Fuck you and your luigi words.”

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Belphie, laying on the floor: “the party, is down here.”

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Belphie: “adoption is just abandonment with extra steps”

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Mammon: “….nice weather...”

Barbatos: “….that’s a light.”

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Diavolo: “I was so astonished I threw a piece of cheese at him”

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Lucifer: “my little brother just called hitler the president of Russia”

Simeon: “good, he knows his algebra! :D”

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Asmo: “sperm flavored lemon. Yummy.”

Solomon: “OMG. THAT SHOULD BE A SLUSHY FLAVOR.”

Asmo and Solomon: “SPERM SLUSHY”

————————————————

yes i let luke say fuck he deserves that right he deserves to be able to go apeshit

#obey me! shall we date?#omswd #obey me #obey me swd #obey me crack #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me brothers #obey me angels #obey me side characters #obey me thirteen #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles #you know damn well I am not putting a tag for every single character

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a-secret-bolton-vampire · 7 months

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I have my own criticisms of House of the Dragon, mainly that there isn't much room for certain characters to get good characterization and they could've done with either more episodes of splitting the first and second half into two seasons. I also think the Rhaenys breaking through the floor scene of the Dragonpit just did not make any sense (I mean, disregarding conveniently leaving the greens alive, how did Rhaenys not get crushed from going through the floor???)

On the other hand, there is criticism of the story that feels almost arbitrary or just straight up lying about the source material. For the record, I'm not really on team green or team black, but Fire and Blood gives the blacks all the best characters and the greens are just universally shitty and evil. But honestly, no matter which side each character is on, they are still pretty fucking flat.

Rhaenyra is like a more incompetent Cersei but with a dragon. All the big decisions made by the head of the blacks is made by Jacaerys instead because Rhaenyra is too busy all upset that Luke died to rule effectively (wtf??? Are you serious??? Aegon is actually proactive after Blood and Cheese but both Rhaenyra and Helaena are too emotional to do anything... it's not a good look).

Alicent is like a competent Cersei. I love Cersei, but Alicent is also very much the "bitch stepmother" stereotype and another example of George writing women as being unable to be friends. I'd rather if Alicent wasn't a Cersei clone with a colour scheme change. Then Aegon is just a lazy drunk, and Aemond... Aemond is like a shōnen anime character with all the nuance that implies.

Helaena gets zero characterization, other than "she was beloved, she's not as pretty because she's fat, and then she goes mad and kills herself the end." And then there is Daemon, the pedophilic child murdering power hungry narcissist that George calls "one of the greyest characters," which honestly makes me question if he even knows what moral greyness even is.

In general, the book version of the characters are just all around awful, unlikeable and devoid of nuance or complexity. And if the response is "but that's the point"... then idk what to say other than there is a difference between characters being morally bankrupt and characters being likeable. For instance, I love Daemon! He's one of my favourite characters! I am also aware he is an unrelenting piece of shit. It's part of why I adore him on page (but more so in the show).

The criticism, then, that I've seen, is that House of the Dragon is picking sides, whitewashing Rhaenyra and the blacks and shitting all over the greens. There are also complaints that the show made Daemon too evil and removed all his complexity, and Alicent is too innocent and not nearly as interesting as book Alicent. The thing is... the show characters are infinitely better than the book characters, in every conceivable way, and it pains me to hear people say otherwise.

Yes, the greens are still more villainous than the blacks. It's unavoidable when one of the core beliefs of the greens is "but muh male primogeniture." And yet the show definitely does a ton of heavy lifting to add complexity to the greens. Aemond, Alicent, and yes even Aegon, are given great, sympathetic backstories and are now rich, three-dimensional characters.

Aemond is still edgy. Again, unavoidable given he has an eyepatch (oh my god imagine a fem!Aemond... that's doing things to me). But he was bullied by Rhaenyra's kids as children, and Luke did cut out his eye. Worse still, Luke is never punished for it. So Aemond has good reason to be resentful of the blacks, and of Luke. But the show also makes it clear that the rivalry with Aemond and Luke is basically a very drawn out childhood spat. Case in point, the look on Aemond's face after Vhagar vhagarizes Luke and Arrax. He didn't want Luke dead, he just wanted his eye. And well, when you act like a child with WMDs... doesn't end well.

Aegon is still a piece of shit. The show didn't necessarily "add" him being a rapist, it's implied he's one in the book anyways. But again, the show does incredible heavy lifting for Aegon's character! He's a bad person still, and a villain, but the show expanded upon how Aegon became that way.

From an early age there was a pressure put onto him by Alicent to be prepared to rule. However, he seems to have not been very good at understanding the lessons. Viserys was an absentee father, doted on Rhaenyra but gave little attention to the rest of his children. He is constantly criticized for his faults by Alicent, and he takes Viserys's actions as him thinking he is an unworthy person. That feeling of disappointing his father, wanting his affection that he never gets, turns to self loathing and self-destructive behaviours.

Alcoholism, reckless behaviour (especially sex, he doesn't care about the consent of the women he sleeps with; also running off and hiding when he hears his father is dead), depression, laying in bed all day and having to be forced to wake up... these are not things a person with a good upbringing experiences. Yes, he is privileged, that doesn't help. But when you are so self-hating and do things to actively make yourself feel worse with no time spent thinking of consequences, that is something you see in people who have trauma from childhood abuse.

(I'm familiar with how this works as someone with borderline personality disorder. Neglect, abandonment, and harsh imposing of rules fucks up your ability to lead a normal, happy life. I need to clarify this because people will think I'm defending him, but this isn't a defense, it's an explanation for why he acts this way.)

Only when he's crowned and the crowd cheers for him does he finally feel as though he is loved for the first time. And that, of course, will have dark consequences down the line...

But the best example of lifting the greens to become more likeable and interesting is Alicent. One of the best show changes was making Alicent and Rhaenyra childhood besties. I know not everyone liked this decision, but it was crucial that this change happen for several reasons; 1) Female friendship is so rare in A Song of Ice and Fire. Like, think about it. Cersei has no female friends because she's a misogynist herself. Catelyn seems to only think about women with descriptions of child-bearing hips (wtf??) but at least she has Brienne, I guess, and Lysa hates everyone. We have some examples of actual friendship between women, but it's pretty rare. 2) It makes Alicent more sympathetic. This is huge because Fire and Blood gives her pretty much nothing. Making her younger, and have less agency, with a neglectful father, allows for her to be more understandable and complex. 3) It makes the rivalry between her and Rhaenyra all the more tragic. They are great friends (history might even call them "good friends") who are driven apart because of the misogynistic society they live in, which is very fitting for the themes of the story.

Yes, Alicent is whitewashed in the show. But, and this might be controversial, whitewashing isn't necessarily a bad thing. The fact Alicent has less agency is also fitting with the themes of the story. Making the story centered around both her and Rhaenyra's relationship is interesting and honestly, for the better. Aegon and Rhaenyra, both in book and show canon, don't interact much. They just hate each other. Making it about Alicent and Rhaenyra adds more emotional intensity to it all. And again, focus on the relationships of female characters is imo, a good thing!

Alicent and Rhaenyra are absolutely incredible character foils too. Both have lost their mothers. Rhaenyra is allowed much more freedom by her father. However, Alicent isn't given much freedom by her father. Rhaenyra indulges in the pleasures of life, but Alicent sacrifices that to be a dutiful wife and queen. Rhaenyra wants to break barriers on gender norms, while Alicent has internalized misogyny and believes in male primogeniture. When Viserys dies, it is Alicent and Rhaenyra who try to keep things peaceful and diplomatic, whereas the men in their lives (Otto and Daemon, respectively) do everything they can to push for war.

Finally, it is implied by Rhaenys that Alicent is using Aegon as a way to have power on the Iron Throne. Very hard to get into this briefly (I've already gone on so much longer than I wanted to), but I think she can both believe in male primogeniture and be resentful that she doesn't get the same power that Rhaenyra does. In this way, she is somewhat using Aegon as a way to get to power.

Compare this with Rhaenyra and Daemon. Rhaenyra is Viserys's chosen heir. Daemon is resentful that he was no longer the heir, and it's pretty clear that he wanted to marry Rhaenyra to get closer to the Iron Throne as well. As much agency as Rhaenyra has, she is still being used by the men in her life. And this is where we segue into the final topic of this; House of the Dragon's portrayal of Daemon Targaryen.

I already feel like I'm going to inflame a fandom war given everything I've said, but I'm going to say it anyways! Daemon is my favourite character in the show. Seriously, he's so fucking good! He is an absolute joy to watch onscreen. He is exactly how he is in the books; charismatic, mercurial, violent, impulsive, and cruel. You never quite know what he's thinking, what he's going to do, how he's going to fuck shit up.

On the other hand, there is some disappointment that Daemon is made perceptively more evil in the show. We know of a few scenes that showcase Daemon's humanity that the show cut. The most likely reason is simply for time and pacing purposes. I don't think there is secretly a conspiracy to make Daemon look worse (honestly it's a bit absurd to think this). And even if those scenes were added, it wouldn't change the fact that Daemon is not a morally grey character, and in fact, one of the central villains of this story.

He canonically loves taking girls virginity. The book makes it clear it's like, young teen girls. The show has only a throwaway line that Mysaria could bring him "a maiden," which is likely reference to that. Daemon is also the Commander of the City Watch. He's the coppiest cop that ever copped. ACAB includes the gold cloaks, all of them, including Daemon. They are all bastards, but Daemon is known for his sadistic pleasure of inflicting cruel punishments onto criminals.

He hurts his brother, repeatedly. He makes fun of Baelon's death the night of his funeral. He steals a dragon egg, lies about Mysaria getting pregnant, just to get Viserys's attention, and when Otto comes he nearly instigates a war against Viserys before Rhaenyra intervenes to stop the two. Mysaria is very much not happy about being used, as she easily would be killed, and Daemon knows this, he's not stupid.

When he learns Viserys is sending him help, Daemon gets so fucking pissy he beats the messenger to death because he wants to prove himself and not be helped by his big brother. He returns to King's Landing and reconciles with Viserys... except no, he hasn't. Viserys welcomes him with open arms, is jovial, loving. And Daemon repays that kindness by grooming and seducing his daughter, ruining her reputation, and then has the nerve to ask to marry her just so he can be close to the Iron Throne.

Daemon murders his wife. Is bold enough to almost kiss Rhaenyra in front of Viserys at her wedding. Doesn't allow Laena to go home. Rejects Viserys's help again at her funeral. Just murders a guy at court before the king. Goes more than a little mad upon Viserys's death, ignores Rhaenyra's commands, does everything he can to instigate war, and even strangles Rhaenyra.

In no universe does this ever get justified as "but he really does love his family." If he loved his family, he wouldn't hurt his brother so much over and over and over, for years. Sure, he probably loved him in his own way, but the way he treats Viserys and Rhaenyra is absolutely abysmal. He's a terrible brother, a terrible husband, and would make a terrible king.

This doesn't even cover Blood and Cheese, one of the most disturbing things any character has ever done (he wasn't there but he's responsible for it). Him killing Aemond at the end isn't even close to a redemptive act. That one act does not wash out the inordinate amount of evil things he's done.

I know I made a post recently about how love is love and it shouldn't be turned into something dark and sinister, but there are exceptions. If you ship Rhaenyra and Daemon, good for you! I don't really care what people do. But this relationship is pretty obviously abusive. More obvious in the book but still present in the show, Daemon groomed and sexually abused Rhaenyra. He does seem to like her, in some way. He has genuine affection for her, no doubt. He can both be using her and care for her at the same time.

But just because he loves her doesn't mean he won't hurt her. Look at how he hurts Viserys. It's why I really don't think Daemon strangling Rhaenyra in the show was "character assassination." It fits perfectly with the character that has been established. Sure, more moments of humanization would've been nice, but it wouldn't change the fact he is, and has always been supremely evil, book or show.

I know I just shat on Daemon a ton, but he is still my favourite character. He's such a joy to watch, he is undoubtedly complex and entertaining, and he has such charisma and swagger, played expertly by Matt Smith. But there is really no excuse for his actions. You can enjoy villains all you like, nothing wrong with that. We just can't excuse them to justify why we like them. Villains are very fun, and often get to be more dynamic than heroes!

So now comes the end of my mini-essay... this is just half-cobbled together stream of consciousness crap, because I got a little ticked off at how many people just say things about House of the Dragon "ruining characters." Some of these characters are George's. Some of them aren't; they are way better.

(I didn't even get to talk about Viserys! The second best character in the show and one George openly has said was better than his version.)

#asoiaf #asoiaf discourse #house of the dragon #daemon targaryen #alicent hightower #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #fire and blood

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