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velvetsainz · 5 months

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summary: [ cl16 x fem!reader ] charles is away in baku and you remind him of what he's missing. part two.

word count: 1.3k

content warnings: smut under the cut (minors dni pls!), pwp, use of explicit language, phone sex, masturbation, google-translated french (lmao), a dash of fluff, i like em dashes too much

a/n: baby's first smutlet! i've been writing for like twelve years but i've never posted to tumblr, so here's to first times! there'll def be at least a part ii to this, but i'm also hoping to write for other drivers soon(ish). also giant mega thank you to @multiseb21 + @lecrep for your support—y'all have been so incredibly sweet & i am so thankful for you!! anyways, i hope y'all like this! enjoy, loves! xx

“Chérie,” his voice crooned over the line, a soft laugh leaving your lips. “Don’t tease, mon ange—it’s already hard enough being away from you for so long.”

“Weren’t you the one who said he’d be fine just a month ago?,” you retorted, voice low. The cards were in your hands now, and Charles was desperate. He was a nomad lost in the desert and you were his oasis on the horizon, just the sound of your voice enough to slake his thirst.

“Yes, but then you sent me that picture and—” You hear him curse again under his breath, his fist acting as a poor substitute for the velvet heat of your walls. He swore he wasn’t going to let you leave that bed once he got his hands on you again.

Charles wasn’t entirely wrong: you were the biggest fucking tease known to mankind. Earlier that evening you sent him a semi-absentminded photo of you fresh from the shower, steam still obscuring the best parts of the photo with a fresh white towel around your hips and one gathering your hair on top of your head. He’d always had something about you fresh from the shower—every time he’d nearly pounce as soon as you’d pad back into the bedroom from the steamy confines of the bathroom, hair wrapped on top of your head just as it was now. (Part of you thought it was something primal in him: you’d washed away his scent on your skin and he needed to make his territory known again, that horn dog.) Still, he was ever the gentleman and would make the endeavor more than worth your while.

“Yeah, that was pretty bad of me, wasn’t it?,” you ceded with a knowing smirk on your lips as you sat back from your desk, closing your laptop slowly. You’d wanted to get a little more work done after your shower, but the Monégasque wasn’t keen to let sleeping dogs lie and needed to hear your voice for himself.

“So bad, chérie,” he agreed with tone of exasperation, a heavy sigh passing through the phone, “And you’re not even here to help a–”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t help in other ways,” you were quick to remind him, the words coming from your mouth quicker than your shame would force you to bottle them up. Heat was creeping to your cheeks, and you could feel the familiar coil of desire tightening deep in the pit of your belly.

“Are you—?”

“That’s why you called, isn’t it, baby?,” you asked only to get a stifled groan from the other side. “You wanted me to tell you how I’ve been thinking about you all day,” you continued, “how I miss your hands on my hips, your cock so deep—”

“Fucking hell,” Charles practically whines as you push yourself away from the desk now, allowing yourself to relax into the seat of the chair and your hips to ease apart despite every part of you wanting to grind them together to relieve the dull ache that rested between them.

“What would you do if I was there now, Cha?,” you asked softly, hand splayed out over the plush of your thigh, eyes glazing over as you pictured him there with you. You wanted his hands everywhere; you couldn’t decide where you truly needed him most. Fingers curling against that hidden spot in your tight cunt, threaded through your hair and pulling your head back to rest on his shoulder, gripping your thighs so tight they’d leave bruises that he’d fuss over later—it all sounded like heaven compared to the lonely hell of your shared Monte Carlo flat.

“I want to taste you, mon cœur,” he replied shakily as his breath came faster, the sound of him fisting his cock becoming more and more prominent as time passed; he wasn’t going to last long like this, but you both already knew that—it wasn’t the point of this exercise. “I’d have you coming on my tongue, let you taste yourself when I kiss you—putain,” the driver cursed once more as his brow furrowed. He was leaking precum over his ironclad grip and all he wanted was to slide his fingers past your plump lips to feel the wet heat of your tongue take care of the mess.

You let out a tremulous breath over the line, one you hadn’t known you’d been holding onto so tightly until your head started swimming with need. Your hand had drifted from its origin, rubbing lazy circles over the cotton of the panties you’d slipped into after the inciting picture. On your top half was a worn, faded shirt of Charles that you’d taken a liking to as a nightshirt—especially when you were missing him as you were so desperately now.

“Need you in me,” you begged, the emptiness you felt so acutely coming to the forefront of your senses, “You always do such a good job filling me—my fingers don’t do you justice.”

You hear a groan on the other side of the line, the man now sitting on the edge of the bed as he tries to keep himself in check. He wasn’t ready for this to be over so soon; you had him feeling like a teenager again, ready to spill at a moment’s notice. Granted, this wasn't anything new: there's something so intoxicating about you that destroyed whatever semblance of restraint, of control he had over his lust.

“Want you in my mouth, give me something better to do than tease you like this,” to which you received a choked merde, the man hanging on your every word as the hand between your legs abandoned its objective—you could take care of that later. You were too caught in every little sound that passed his plush lips, listening for every little cue his body so willingly gave you.

“Want your hands in my hair, guiding me up and down your cock,” you keened for him on a whine, his breathing heavy and labored. He was running at full speed to the cliff's edge, and you were there watching, waiting in the grass. “Want your cum on my tongue, baby,” you whined.

“Promise not to waste any, minette?,” he grunted, gritting his teeth as you hummed your assurances. “Such a good girl f’me, yes–”

With a strained hiss and a groan he came sloppily over his hand, thankful enough that he wasn’t home in Monaco so he didn’t have to worry about cleaning up the mess he’d made. “Fuck,” he croaked, breathing heavy as he came down from the blinding high your words had catapulted him through. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been taking care of business when duty called, but something about your voice, the thought of you there…it clutched everything into a higher gear.

“Better?,” you asked, sly smile audible to the Ferrari driver; he didn’t need to see you to know the shit-eating, satisfied smile that took over your lips.

With a tired laugh he nodded, slumping back onto the cool rumpled sheets of the hotel bed as he stared absently at the dark ceiling. It was three in the morning in Baku, and he couldn’t sleep—the thoughts your cheeky picture had invited wouldn’t let him.

“Get some rest, tiger,” you teased him, knowing he’d have to be awake in a few short hours. You debated sending him another picture in the morning as motivation, tiding him over until you’d join him later that weekend.

“Que ferais-je sans toi, mon amour?,” he asked, sleep heavy in his voice as he rolled the right way onto the bed and running a hand through his hair. He’d deal with the mess he’d made in the morning along with the flowers he’d send you—he really didn’t know what he’d do without you.

“I guess we’ll never know, hm?,” you replied gently, smile melting into something softer as you fiddled with the gleaming ring on your left hand.

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rpclefairy · 5 months

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𝐁𝐆𝟑 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

a selection of lines from the various companions' banter quotes (not cut scene dialogues!) from baldur's gate 3. these are generally spoiler free and non context specific so they can apply to different settings and dynamics! feel free to change names and the like to customize the prompts.

“Death can't have me. Not yet…”

“Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.”

“Realmspace is vast. Countless worlds to be mapped, kingdoms to be conquered.”

“I have missed this. The adventure. The danger. The kicking of butts!

“Let me guess - you need something.”

“Such attention.. I never realised I was so popular.”

“Let's cook with fire, baby.”

“Do you intend to vocalise every thought?. Or just the most obvious ones?”

“Wherever we go, ye gods let there be something green.”

“Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.”

“Watch your elders and learn.”

“Perhaps try attacking the enemy?”

“So much we don't know, lingering in the furthest reaches of existence.”

“All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.”

“The shadows are my friend.”

“Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.”

“Feet planted firmly on Faerûn, please.”

“Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities.”

“Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you?”

“I am ready, whatever may come.”

“My faith protects me.”

“Need a throat slitting?”

“Death greets us all - but not today.”

“You need my expertise?”

“Can you feel death's cold grip?”

“So many stars, so many mysteries yet to be discovered.”

“Death comes quietly.”

“And I thought we were going to be friends.”

“Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.”

“No, you can't die. Get up, damn you!

“You had my attention, now you have my fury.”

“From silence to suffering.”

“So many worlds out there. You'd need a thousand lifetimes to see them all - more.”

“I hope this is important. For your sake.”

“Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.”

“I ought to just burn this whole thing down.”

“We have slightly more pressing matters to attend to.”

“You have still have time to surrender.”

“Every kicked buttock, another step on the path.”

“Weave save me. I can't take much more…

“You are right to fear me.”

“Let me look around. Might be something that'll help me crack this thing.”

“Incredible, to think how many worlds exist beyond this tiny speck within a speck I call home.”

“I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.”

“I can fawn over my face later.”

“Ready for another round?”

“Keep your blade close.”

“I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere…”

“No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.”

“Battle favours the fearless.”

“Sleep with one eye open, evil. Maybe both.”

“Gotta be something around here to unlock this thing.”

“Why do beautiful people taste better?. It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities.”

“Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too.”

“Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails.”

“Still standing, no matter what you heard.”

“Enough waiting. I crave blood.”

“Hang on - I won't allow this. You aren't dead, go it?”

“GODS, it's HOT in here!”

“No rest for the wicked, I see.”

“Better to hide than fight, sometimes.”

“Would that I could hide from you, too.”

“Are you feeling lonely, perhaps?”

“There is no right or wrong, only truth.”

“Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe.”

“What good all this ethereal eladrin blood if I can still get pimples?”

“I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.”

“I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness.”

“Let's have some fun.”

“War is an old woman's game.”

“No rest, be you wicked or wise.”

“I'm getting too old for this nonsense.”

“I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want.”

“You have my attention - now do something with it.”

“You are insistent, are you not?”

“Do what must be done.”

“Your suffering will be spectacular.”

“Lest I sit down for a rest and not rise again.”

“Better to look evil in the eye. Even if it be very small.”

“I'm not built to crouch.”

“I think I could go another round.”

“Always the same old song.”

“Is perfection too much to ask?”

“Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner.”

“So many places to be.. and I chose Baldur's Gate.”

“I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.”

“What is the point, if not victory?”

“Won't last much longer like this.”

“Let's hope the locals are friendly.”

“Let us show them how it's done.”

“Weapons high. Standards higher.”

“Must everyone be so exhausting?”

“What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb…”

“Which way to the nearest library?”

“Now this is my happy place.”

“Who shall I silence?”

“Stop, or die.”

“Wear your scars proudly.”

#indie rp #rp meme #rp ask meme #sentence starter #rp prompts #bg3 prompts #rp sentence starters

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save-the-villainous-cat · 21 days

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stoic and calm hero x teasing villain??????

“Oh, grumpy…” The villain touched the hero’s neck first and then leaned over, close enough to whisper into their ear. “So tense.”

The villain almost sat down on the hero’s lap but the hero’s hands were on their hips immediately and pushed them back up.

“You shouldn’t do that in a restaurant,” they said. Admittedly, the villain looked perfect tonight. The hero had always considered them to be some sort of devil sent to torture them specifically.

Conflicting feelings weren’t really something the hero understood. Hell, feelings in general were hard to put into words.

They were used to hiding in their offices and lairs, behind a mask or a fake identity. Anonymity was a privilege.

But it was also incredibly lonely.

“Gosh, I am so sorry, my love.” The villain sat down at the other end of the table, smiling softly. “Can’t help myself when I’m around you.”

“Clearly.”

The hero stared at the bottle of wine they had ordered. Did the villain like wine? They didn’t know.

“Don’t tell me you’re on a date,” the villain said cheerily. They reached out and took the hero’s hand, making the hero’s stomach toss and turn.

“It’s a business meeting,” the hero said, keeping their voice low. Although they doubted anyone could hear them, they liked to be more careful when the villain was around. Maybe someone was listening, maybe someone was recording…

The villain’s fingers were soft when they traced the hero’s knuckles.

The hero couldn’t take that kind of heartbreak again. Being betrayed by the villain was the most painful thing in the world.

“Thank god you’re not cheating on me.” The villain winked and the hero’s mouth dried out.

“What are you doing here?” They didn’t know how much longer they could take this. The villain was haunting them, tempting them to let go of all these terrible responsibilities.

They were so soft with the hero, yet mercilessly violent with their rivals. The hero felt a yearning towards them. Their own body betrayed them and wanted the touch, needed it, just as much as the kind words and the soft lips. And yet, they feared the villain didn’t like them in that way.

“…which I told him is not acceptable. So, I came here to say hello!” The villain smiled. “You’re just so irresistible…hey, is everything alright?”

Now, the villain tilted their head, looking curiously at them. Were they…worried? The hero couldn’t afford conversations like these.

“…yes, I’m sorry.”

“You seem upset.”

“I’m…I’m going to get promoted,” they admitted suddenly.

The villain’s hands were still on the hero’s. The villain turned it around, focusing their attention on the hero’s palm. They traced the lines. They traced the scars.

“Isn’t that something we should celebrate? You’ve been doing so well at work, haven’t you?” Under the table, the hero felt the villain’s foot teasing. Rubbing their shin. They didn’t want this moment to end.

A part of them — a very weak part of them — wanted this to be an evening with the villain as their spouse. They wanted that kind of reassurance and they wanted that kind of comfort. They wanted the villain to touch them and take care of them.

They wanted the intimacy but that was ridiculous. They were too different. It wouldn’t work.

“It means I’ll be basically chained to my desk. I won’t fight you anymore,” the hero said.

The villain’s face fell. They were clearly disheartened.

“Oh…”

“I tried to turn it down but they insisted. It feels more like a punishment if I’m being honest,” they said. “I’m really sorry.”

And then, the villain’s face softened.

“Don’t worry about it, you won’t get rid of me that easily.” They squeezed the hero’s hand with a warm smile. “You’re my favourite nut to crack. And I’ve made such progress already. I won’t let a messy work schedule ruin that.”

They stood up and the hero’s heart skipped several beats.

Was this another plan? Another scheme? Was the hero being seduced? Their doubts made it difficult to enjoy the situation, to enjoy the proximity.

The villain hadn’t betrayed them in months. The last betrayal had been of professional nature and they had apologised for it.

The hero knew they couldn’t allow themselves to fall for their enemy, it just wasn’t…

“You look incredible tonight, by the way. Whomever you’re meeting is going to have a great view.” The villain leaned down and pressed a kiss to their lips. Sweet. Short. Kind. The hero’s heartbeat skyrocketed. “Good luck with this business meeting, darling.”

Their fingers went over the hero’s shoulders to their neck. And with that, they walked out of the restaurant, leaving the hero even more doomed.

#Alejandro alejandroooooo don’t call my name don’t call my name #writing snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroxvillain snippet #heroes and villains #hero #villain #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request

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glorified-red · 1 year

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I'm seeing all the hate The Sun & The Star is getting on this hellsite and its so obvious that people aren't reading this book for what it is.

It's literally a children's novel written for children. The book is supposed to be easily digestible and stupid and explicitly written because kids books are supposed to be completely laid out.

Rick has always written dorky things in his books but he has also prioritized writing about real world issues and struggles. He's written about trauma, abuse, PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. For years.

So here he is writing about deep rooted insecurities and self-doubt and learning to accept all those dark parts of yourself as well as others, AND tackling internalized homophobia and queer struggles, and we're upset the book is too focused on the relationship?

The entire point of this book is to teach the audience how to navigate a rocky relationship with compassion and understanding. It's showing that relationships aren't perfect, you can be upset with your partner and your partner can be upset with you but the point is that you talk about it and you try to do better.

Is it such a bad thing for young teens to be learning this?

Is it such a bad thing for them to see that love is effort? And can and will be flawed and that's okay??

This is the first time we've seen this topic discussed by Rick and I've never seen a book tackle this topic because we always see the Hollywood depiction of love---yet that's unrealistic.

This is showing that love can be flawed but still be oh so beautiful. That you can be traumatized and still worthy of love.

And I am so proud of Rick and Mark for not only showing a healthy attempt at a relationship but also showing countless times that those lessons apply to any relationship. They put significant stress on platonic and familial relationships and how that love is also effort, compassion, and understanding.

Yes, it focused on Solangelo a lot.

Yes, it had soooo many flaws that even I cringed and got disappointed at times.

But the fact that we got a book that finally lets two characters talk about their feelings is incredible, and the fact that this new generation gets this book??

If I had a book like this when I was young, showing me how to navigate conflict and that relationships CAN be hard?? My god, the healing that lesson could have done.

Perspective is everything for this book. Hell, perspective was everything in HoO. It showed that how characters are perceived is very different from how they perceive themselves.

Leo was literally always shown as comedic relief and nothing more until we saw how incredibly lonely and sad that kid was from his point of view.

Percy was always said to be intimidating and powerful, but in his perspective, he's a kid who has no clue what he's doing.

So yea, in this book, it may seem like these characters have shifted, but once again, Rick is relying so heavily on perspective.

Nico was edgy and depressed for as long as we knew him, even in BoO when we first got his POV. But now that he's accepted, loved, and healing, why are we getting mad that he's a dork again---how he was before all the trauma? Why are we mad that Nico is growing and healing and becoming himself again because he feels safe enough to do so.

Ofc he's gonna feel different than how he was written a canon year ago.

And this is the first time we've had Wills perspective. He's always been seen as this sunshine happy character but we FINALLY get some acknowledgement that he's deeply terrified. He's shown as a leader and camp counselor but he's got anxiety written in his bones.

He felt like a burden this book because he's a healer. He's absolutely terrified to be a fighter and yet we got to see him become one in his own way. He was out of his element but he was trying.

Because he's so goddamn afraid of losing someone else.

Call Will an asshole all you want, but Nico had been to Tartarus and the Underworld more times than he could count.

Will is literally walking into a place he's never been to before and is the complete opposite of anything he's ever known---for Nico. The comments he makes about plants and lack of sunshine? It wasn't him being a dick, he was him being genuinely confused because hes only ever known earth logic.

If I saw flowers blooming in a pitch black room I'd be a little confused too. He says the Underworld is depressing because it's literally draining his energy.

You yell at Will for not being open-minded yet won't comment on the fact that Nico hardly made an attempt either. Nico could have been more understanding about the fact that Will, a guy who's exploring this place that's slowly killing him, might not like the place at first because he doesn't understand it.

Because Will wanted to understand.

And the second Will finally began to understand the beauty of the Underworld, he was nothing but supportive.

You get mad at Will for making mistakes yet refuse to acknowledge that he learned from them.

The Sun & The Star tackled a hard topic that doesn't get talked about often. It portrayed a queer relationship and it emphasized characters who learned and grew. It's different from other Rick books because that was the point. (And it wasn't just Rick writing it)

This book was about accepting change within yourself and "daring to be different."

And the fact that you can't even accept a book that does the same just shows that the lessons this book taught went straight over your head.

I've never been more disappointed in this fandom. We begged for this book. We begged for queer representation. Yet here we are criticizing every little thing about it as if we aren't lucky to be getting this book in the first place---a book about two side characters.

This book had soooo many flaws but it wasn't a bad book.

Isn't that the point of it all? To love something even though it's flawed? That flaws dont necessarily mean it's broken and bad forever?

It's okay to hate a book.

That doesn't mean it's a bad book.

It just wasn't for you.

There are dozens of other books in this fandom to love and cherish, but don't hate this book just because it's different from what we're used to.

#the sun and the star #tsats spoilers #tsats #pjo stuff #pjo fandom #solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #pjo

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taxidermycanine · 3 months

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5 WAYS TO HELP WITH SPECIES DYSPHORIA AS A THERIAN (with and without gear)

- please note that most of these are focused mainly on being a wolf therian, but i'll try my best to make it more inclusive to others.

1 •

my personal favorite, wolf quest! this one does cost money, so this isn't for those who don't have the money/don't already have the game. it really helps me feel more connected to who i am. you find a mate, raise pups, hunt prey, defend your den and pack from predators, and there's even a multiplayer option for you to play with your friends. :o)

(and yes, you can customize what your wolf looks like. all NPC wolves in the game have different personalities for immersion, including you, your pups, and your mate)

please note that the game is still in development! they plan to add a saga where you can live constantly with your pack and continue with new generations each year (and no, you don't HAVE to pass away). you can toggle whether your mate dies or not, if you play on easy you can avoid your pups getting sick by reloading saves if you're sensitive to that, there are constantly new updates being brought out that make the game feel more realistic each time and the development team are incredibly sweet. if you have the money i highly recommend this game, wolf therian or otherwise.

2 •

documentaries. a wonderful way to not only feel more connected to your theriotype(s), but to also learn more information about them! my favorite thing to do when i'm stressed is to wrap myself in warm blankets, turn off my lights and put on a documentary to calm myself down. bonus points if you DO have gear to wear during this, if not that's okay too.

i also like to have my plush friends join me so i can act like they're my pack :o) it's a nice way to feel less lonely as i watch. this also works if you're a domestic cat therian, have your plushies be your clouder! no matter what animal you are though, never feel less valid for wanting your stuffies with you during this. it doesn't matter if your theriotype isn't a social animal in the wild.

if you're an aquatic therian of some kind, i think a good idea would be taking your phone in the bathroom with you and setting it up outside of the tub to watch whilst you're in the water! (or shower if you don't have one, you can also use a kiddie pool outside in the warmer months). PLEASE remember to be safe during this though, if you worry about getting your phone wet then instead find some blue blankets and pretend it's the ocean!

3 •

going outside to where your theriotype resides in naturally. of course this won't be for everyone, since a lot of the time trips can end up being quite costly. something that i like to do is go to my local forest whenever i have the time to do so! i find it refreshing to sit by the stream and play in the water with my mate.

if you're a domestic dog therian, ask to go on a walk around the neighborhood with your friend! (or hell, go by yourself if it's safe enough, you're a free dog, you can do what you want). even as a wild animal i still enjoy this, so don't feel ashamed if you're ALSO a wild animal who wants to do things that domestic dogs do. it doesn't make you any less undomesticated.

if you're an animal that's used to deserts, i recommend going to where you can access sand (e.g. a sandbox at a playground, asking for a small sand tray to play in as a gift, a day out to the beach if you live near one). i also find that dried dirt that's very damaged can feel sort of similar to sand!

if you can't go outside for whatever reason, then there's always ways to make your bedroom feel similar to where you would be more comfortable. if your theriotype lives in dens like caves and underneath trees, make a blanket fort and pretend it's your home! if your theriotype rests in a burrow, make a tunnel with some blankets from the top of your bed all the way down to under it (if that doesn't work, pretend that anything below your bed is underground, and anything above your bed is the surface).

4 •

dressing in clothes that are the same color as your theriotype. i have this fluffy hat with ears that feels very affirming for my species dysphoria, paired with my favorite dark sweaters, warm pants and my tail. if you don't have any gear, don't worry! you don't need to have any to complete an outfit. sometimes clothing textures can also be affirming. for example if you have smooth skin like a whale, a bathing suit can feel similar to blubber. (if you have gender dysphoria, i recommend either full body bathing suits, or wearing pants on top of it and a jacket to help yourself feel more affirmed). i wear fluffy clothes because my fur is fluffy :o) it helps me, personally, but this might not be the same for everyone!

5 •

studying the behavior of your theriotype and trying your best to imitate it to the best of your abilities with the body you have. this can be as simple as copying how they act around each other as a family (for example wolves who are mates will rest their chins on each other to display affection), and as difficult as trying to vocalize what sounds your theriotype makes.

if you wanted to try the latter, i recommend looking at vocal exercises online before as a lot of creature sounds can and will strain your voice, i promise you that warming up your chords will not only help you sound clearer, it'll ensure that it won't take as much effort to do!

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nozunhinged · 5 months

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I finally managed to put my overall thoughts about Playboyy into words and hoooooo boy do I have a lot to say.

I watched the mdl ratings go down, the blatant hate towards the plot, the actors, the scenes, the sex. There was nothing that wasn't torn apart about this series and yet I wasn't phased for a second and I kept wondering why because usually get very passionate about defending the things I love.

And then I realized that this series is the cinematic embodiment of a very lonely path that I've been walking for decades and I am already very, very used to the shame around it.

Sex is not just my special interest, I also had the privilege to grow up with excellent sex education (thanks parents) and on top of that I never struggled with my (pan)sexual identity. Sex plays a significant role in my life. But I learned VERY quickly that I should keep this to myself if I don't want to be ostracized or bullied.

"You're autistic AND you like sex? You like porn? What the fuck is wrong with you??? That's impossible."

And all the comments I read about playboyy are exactly the same just in different fonts. Ew sex. Ew kink. Ew porn. Ew sex work. Sex can't have storytelling, plot, it's just for shock value. We all read it.

And sadly it's a very accurate representation of the role sex plays in our society. Which - ironically - playboyy exactly is about.

Playboyy is a visual collection of all the experiences of lives and people in which sex plays a significant role - even the lack thereof (looking at you zouey and all you lovely aces).

It's a collection of very important social commentary, with all the characters, sets, plots and visuals as a medium. Because this way, the points they make come across even stronger and draw out all the emotions they want us to feel - which is in the rarest cases, pure arousal. Because this is, in fact, storytelling. Even if many don't want to hear it.

Telling stories about sex is so stigmatized and shunned, it only has the tiniest place to exist freely. Just like sex itself. Every sex worker, sex educator, sex therapist, everyone who has a profession that deals with sex will tell you about it. The shame. The misunderstanding. Look at the state of sex work and porn in the world. It tells you everything you need to know.

And it's happening in the middle of the "modern" western society - Yes I'm talking about you, UK and I can't not plug this here:

*btw I am not a sex worker I'm just very passionate about letting people not just live their lives but giving them a CHOICE to do what they want or don't want to do

I existed in this tiny place for decades now and I got really comfortable in my tiny lil corner, but to see a show like this go "mainstream" talking about all the topics that tickle all the knowledge I collected over the years feels so amazing. And I can tell you, all you lil smartass purists, everyone involved in this show doesn't care an inch what you think, just like me. We're used to it, believe me.

I could go on for ages about how carefully all these topics of the show are treated but what I actually want to say is that I find it incredibly ironic that a show that depicts the struggles and stigmas about sex, exactly draws out the reactions and treatments it criticises.

If you don't want to join in on the fun, that's totally fine. I get that it's not for everyone (just like sex, he). But treating it as a piece of trash just because it's a thing you personally find icky is exactly the reason the issues Playboyy talks about exist in the first place. Hence you can thank your stuck-up ass yourself that debauched individuals like me get a gem like this to enjoy.

And the fact that it didn't just find a crew, but also the funding and the mainstream distribution proves that I'm not alone in this.

It's not my lonely little corner anymore and I'm absolutely thriving on that. Cry about it.

#playboyy the series #playboyy #playboyy meta #and no im not using tumblrs mature label for this because i like to love dangerously and want you to read it

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snek-amiga · 2 years

Text

I think maybe a trip to the aquarium with a cute nerdy gf would fix me.

#touch starved #yearning #public aquarium #yes i am incredibly lonely #why do you ask?#lesbian #gay #wlw #nblw

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multifanhoe99 · 7 months

Text

Kinktober Day 16- Toys

Pairing: Sunghoon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mean dom!Sunghoon, daddy kink, nicknames (baby girl, baby, slut, whore, little girl), overstimulation, tying up with rope, unprotected sex, creampie.

=Let me know if I missed any.=

18+ MDNI

PROMPT LIST

MASTERLIST

You have really done it this time. You pushed him over the edge and knew there was no going back. You were going to have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Your boyfriend, Sunghoon, was sweet and kind but, when things got more intimate between you two he was very commanding, and dominant. You were not upset with this, in fact you enjoyed it very much. So much that you often like to tease him to get him in that mood. You enjoyed his funishments but, sometimes you would push too far and instead of a funishment you would get a real punishment. Today, while he was at the studio, you had decided to tease him.

You sent him pictures of yourself in the lingerie set you knew was his favorite. Each picture had a text after it that said something along the lines of I'm so lonely Daddy and I don't know if I can wait til you get home. You kept sending him these pictures and even a couple videos until he responded. Oh, baby girl, you've been so bad today. I am at the studio and it is very difficult to hide my phone from the others. I think Jay saw it. You better be a good little slut for Daddy when I get home after your punishment that is. Be ready and wait for me on the bed when I get home. Oh yeah, you had definitely gone too far this time. You did as he asked stripping yourself of the lingerie and sitting on the bed. Luckily, you knew that meant he'd be home soon if he told you to wait for him without saying when he'd be home.

Not too long after, you heard the front door open and close. Then, there was the sound of him walking down the hall to your shared room. You were shivering with the anticipation of what he had planned for you. When Sunghoon finally reached the room, he stopped in the doorway to stare at you. Then, he spoke, "Awe, look at you trying to be a good little girl now. Thank you for obeying me, baby but, that doesn't mean you aren't going to be punished for being a bad girl."

His voice was low and sexy. It was much different than anything you have heard before and you loved it. He made his way towards the closet where you kept your toys hidden. He pulled out the rope and your magic wand vibrator. You knew what he had in mind now and it was your least favorite punishment. This means he meant to overstimulate you. He walked over to you grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him before whispering in your ear, "Do you like being a bad girl? You like what I do to you huh? You're such a little whore for Daddy's cock aren't you kitten?"

"Ye-yes," you replied.

His eyes darkened even more, "Yes, what?"

"Y-y-yes Daddy," you stuttered. With a smirk, he let go of your face.

"Good girl," he said, "Now, lay down for me." You did as you were told and laid down on the bed. He got to work tying you so you weren't able to move your arms or legs much. When he was sure you were nice and secure Sunghoon grabbed the magic wand and turned it on.

"You were so horny for me today that you had to tease me and Jay saw you being a little slut for me," he said, "I want you to count how many times you cum baby and if you do good maybe I will give you my cock like you wanted." He moved the toy so that it was perfectly on your clit. He had it on the lowest setting but it still felt good. It was just not enough you wanted more. You unfortunately were not in a position to ask for more though. The vibrations felt amazing as it buzzed dully against your clit. Eventually, you were finally able to cum from the minimal pressure.

"One," you said slightly out of breath. He kept the toy on your clit but, turned up the setting by two notches. It was buzzing faster now and felt incredible. Even more so because you had already cum once.

Soon, you came again shouting out a loud, "Two!" You were only two orgasms in but, it was starting to get hard to think and breathe. He kept going and turned it up two more settings. This kept going until it was on the highest setting it could go. You were basically screaming at this point. You had tears and drool running down your face and you barely remembered what number you were on.

You came again with a scream, "Sssssss-six!"

He turned off the vibrator and threw it to the side. Then, he said, "You think you can do one more for me, baby?" You nod in response.

He lined himself up with your soaked entrance and began fucking into you at a rapid pace. You didn't even notice in your haze exactly when he removed his clothes. Everything felt so good and in no time you were cumming again.

"That's it, baby. Cum all over Daddy's cock like a good little slut. Do you want me to fill up this pretty little pussy with my cum," he said. You could tell he was also very close. You spouted incoherent nonsense hoping he'd understand what you meant. He did because the next thing you knew he was cumming deep inside of you. He then spent a long time removing your restraints, cleaning you up, and giving you any aftercare you needed. After all that was done, Sunghoon pulled you under the covers to cuddle with him.

Then, he asked softly, "I wasn't too rough was I?"

You replied, "No, not at all. I think I will have to tease you like that more often now."

He laughs while shaking his head, "I love you (Y/N)."

"I love you too," was the last thing you said before falling asleep in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: A long time ago I used to be an admin for another K-pop fanfic blog. This story is a re-write of a story I had written for that blog so if it seems familiar or if you ever come across the original story (it was about Jungkook) just know that I am not stealing any work. That writer and myself are indeed the same person.

#kinktober 2023 #kinktober #x reader #k pop smut #enhypen smut #Sunghoon x reader #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon smut

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fatecantstopme · 11 months

Note

Hi!!! Can I plzz request a Morpheus and y/n are married and reader just wants alone time with her husband but he's always busy so unsatisfied reader has some alone time and Morpheus hears and goes to help her (smut included plz) 🤧🤧

Need

Pairing: Morpheus x wife!reader

Summary: Morpheus has been extremely busy since returning from captivity. He never intended to, but he'd left you without his touch for far too long.

Warnings: Fluff. SMUT, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

A/N: I love this idea. Hope you enjoy! 🥰

It felt like it had been ages since you'd had any alone time with your husband. He'd been incredibly busy, so much so that you barely saw him these days. It wasn't that he was ignoring you, he was simply overwhelmed with work and he had the tendency to get completely lost in it.

As the Lord of Dreams, Morpheus was constantly busy managing his kingdom, creating new dreams and nightmares, and ensuring the comfort of his creations and the dreamers who entered his realm. Given his recent absence from the realm, his work had quadrupled. As such, he had been spending a lot of time in his study or out in the Dreaming.

You had to admit you missed him terribly. When he'd first returned from his captivity, you hadn't left each other's sides for weeks, but once he began to rebuild The Dreaming, he became more distant.

This evening in particular, you were feeling extra lonely--and perhaps a bit needy. You decided to take a walk through the palace, searching for your husband. Eventually, you wandered into his study and found him hunched over his desk, several books open in front of him.

He looked up as you entered, an expression of surprise on his beautiful face. "My love? Is everything alright?" he asked gently.

You smiled as you moved across the room. "I'm alright, darling. I just haven't seen much of you in a while."

Morpheus frowned. "I am sorry, beloved. I did not intend to ignore you."

"Oh, no, not at all. I didn't think you were ignoring me. You're just very busy and I completely understand. Your work is very important."

He stood up and stepped in front of his desk, arms reaching out to pull you towards him. "Nothing is more important than you," he said solemnly.

You smiled and leaned in to kiss him gently. "I appreciate that," you paused. "Do you think you'll be coming to bed tonight?"

Morpheus looked a little sad--perhaps even regretful. "I have much to do this evening, my darling. I shall endeavor to finish it in a timely manner, but I do not think it will be tonight."

You couldn't help the frown that graced your face, but you tried to hide the intensity of your sadness from your husband. "That's alright, Morpheus."

He could tell you were sad, but before he could say a word, one of his creations knocked on the open door. "Sire?"

Morpheus stepped away from you and turned his attention to the newcomer. "Yes?"

"There is a--situation that requires your assistance, my lord."

Morpheus sighed.

"It's alright, darling," you said softly. "Go take care of it."

He nodded. "I will be quick, my love."

You smiled at him before he rushed out of the room, after which you allowed your smile to fall. You sighed softly. You didn't want to be annoyed--it wasn't his fault he was so busy--but you were just so lonely.

You made your way slowly back to your bedroom. You took a hot bath before crawling into your bed. The bed was quite large, and so painfully empty.

You tossed back and forth for at least an hour, but you couldn't fall asleep. Eventually, you rolled onto your back with a dramatic sigh. Your body felt like it was on fire, your nerve endings alight with need.

You knew what you needed, but you didn't often have to take matters into your own hands--Morpheus was always ready and willing to satisfy your needs. Tonight, however, you needed a release and your husband was much too busy to help you.

You sighed as you sat up, tugging your nightgown off over your head. You laid back down and closed your eyes, trying desperately to imagine Morpheus's hands instead of your own. Your hands slid down your body towards where you needed them most.

The moment they settled between your legs, you released a soft sigh. As you began to move, your breathing became heavy and your soft moans filled the room. You sped up your ministrations, the volume of your moans increasing with the speed.

"Morpheus," you whispered softly, your imagination filling your mind with images of your husband.

On the other side of The Dreaming, Morpheus was finishing up his business when he suddenly heard your voice breaking through his concentration.

"(Y/N)?" he said as he looked up.

Soft moans carried across the breeze--your moans.

Morpheus froze, his body immediately wanting to respond to you, despite the fact he was not alone. He knew he likely wasn't going to be able to finish working, especially when he heard you call his name.

"I must go," he said abruptly.

"My lord?"

"My wife requires my immediate attention. I shall not be returning until tomorrow."

His creation simply nodded, but Morpheus didn't stay long enough to see it. He disappeared, instantly reappearing in his bedchamber. What he saw was enough for him to stop breathing.

You were completely naked on top of your shared bed, hands between your legs, body writhing as you pleasured yourself. Pretty moans floated across the room, turning Morpheus almost completely feral.

"Beloved," he said lowly, voice rough with desire.

Your eyes shot open and your hands instinctively flew to cover yourself as much as you could. When you saw Morpheus standing at the end of the bed looking at you like he was about to eat you alive, your hands lowered to your sides and you bit your lip.

"What do you think you are doing, my love?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Morpheus--I just--I needed--I need you."

His eyes impossibly darkened, turning into a starless night sky. "You could have come to me, darling."

"You were busy...I didn't wanna bother you."

"Sweetheart," he whispered as he lowered himself onto the bed, body hovering above yours possessively. "You could never bother me."

Your lips parted and your breathing became heavy. "Morpheus..."

"Yes, my love?"

"Please..." you whimpered.

"Tell me what you need, my darling."

"I need you to touch me," you begged.

Morpheus smiled wolfishly. "Anything for you," he whispered as his clothing magically disappeared. His lips met yours in a hungry, possessive kiss, which you responded to instantly. You tangled your fingers into his thick, dark hair and moaned against his lips.

His soft hands caressed your skin and his lips began to trail down your neck, focusing on your most sensitive spot. His fingers glided down your body, stopping to collect the moisture pooling in your core.

He separated from you, bringing his fingers to his lips to taste you, a soft groan of satisfaction leaving his mouth.

"Please," you whispered. "Don't tease me."

Morpheus smiled. "As you wish, my darling."

He wasted no time in lowering himself between your legs, lips immediately attaching themselves to your core. When his tongue snaked out to caress you, a broken moan slipped past your lips.

Every time with Morpheus was incredible. It was to be expected from an Endless, but you couldn't deny his sheer talent. You weren't sure if he used magic or if he was simply that good; either way, you were thankful.

"Morpheus," you murmured, his name both a prayer and a plea.

Somehow he always seemed to know exactly what you wanted and needed, and this moment was no different. His tongue danced across you, fingers gently coaxing you towards your climax.

You moaned loudly enough for all The Dreaming to hear when your orgasm washed over you, but those moans were practically whispers in comparison to the sounds the Dream Lord would tear from your throat this night.

Morpheus did not stop his actions, did not allow you even a moment to catch your breath. He brought you to climax again and again and again, before he finally acquiesced to your pleas for a pause.

"I have left you alone for far too long, my love," he murmured into your ear. His soft hands caressed your form, gently massaging your skin, the touch a comforting gesture. "It is my honor to make it up to you."

"I think..." you gasped out breathlessly, "...you have."

Morpheus chuckled darkly. "Oh no, beloved. I have only just begun."

Your eyes widened as you gazed into his handsome face. "You can't...be serious."

He offered you a pleased smirk. "Oh, but I am, my darling. I fully intend to have you writhing beneath me for the rest of the night. I wish to hear nothing but the sweet sounds coming from your lips. All the mortals visiting The Dreaming this night will have the most pleasant dreams indeed."

You stared up at him, completely breathless, utterly spent, and yet so entirely his. His fiery gaze and his passionate words lit a spark inside of you only his touch could put out.

You touched his face almost reverently as you whispered, "Please, Morpheus." Your meaning was quite clear: you wanted nothing more than the promise of endless pleasure, pleasure only he could give you.

His fingers intertwined with yours and he pulled your hands above your head, holding them in place with one arm. He entered you swiftly, giving you no time to prepare or adjust, before setting a brutal pace. There was nothing cruel about his actions...it was pure passion in its rawest and truest form.

Morpheus was true to his word, as he always was. He pleasured your body all throughout the night, bringing you a pleasure so intense it would have incapacitated a lesser being. His own pleasure was derived from seeing you like this, from hearing you scream his name, feeling you clench around him so tightly he couldn't breathe.

He whispered sweet nothings against your skin, marking the supple flesh with his deep, endless love. His body was never apart from yours for more than an instant all throughout the night.

When the sun began to rise, Morpheus finally allowed you to rest. He held your spent body against him, the warmth of your skin a comfort to him. You had long since fallen asleep, but he did not dare move. He couldn't bear the thought of waking you or leaving your side, duties be damned.

So there he lay, the King of Dreams, holding his lover tightly in his arms, protecting her and loving her with all he had to give from his Endless soul.

#Morpheus x reader smut #Morpheus x reader #morpheus x wife!reader #morpheus smut #sandman smut #the sandman #Dream #Morpheus

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halsteadlover · 6 months

Text

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

*Gif and pic not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: your life is amazing. You have everything you wished for, a caring and beautiful husband, a satisfying job, an amazing house. What if in a matter of seconds, your incredible fairy tale is about to take a tragic twist?

• Warnings: angst, mention of car crash, blood, wounds, curse words, death.

• Word count: 7580.

• A/N: Please don’t kill me. Y’ALL BETTER EAT THIS FIC UP BECAUSE I PUT MY BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS (always pretty please). I hope you’ll like this piece I know I was heartbroken writing it. Drop a like, a comment and reblog if you want, it’d be amazing and so helpful. I apologize for any mistake or grammar error. Thank you so much as always for your support, looking forward for your opinion. ❤️

“Baby!”.

“Y/n!”.

“You hear me? Please answer me”.

“Please hold on, everything will be okay I promise. Please… Don't leave me.”

What was going on?

Why did you feel so weak?

Where was Spencer?

Your breathing was heavy, cold shivers ran through your body but despite this you couldn't move a single muscle even if you could feel your body waving to an unknown motion, like you were floating.

Am I moving?

You felt your eyelids fighting not to stay closed even if you tried with every fiber of your body to fight against that tiredness that wanted so badly to suck you into the darkness.

You were so afraid.

You managed to slightly open your eyes, only for a fraction of a second, and all you saw was a blinding white light that forced you to close your eyes right after. It was so strong you couldn't open them again.

What it was?

Was it heaven?

Were you dead?

“Please baby hold on, if you hear me please fight, I know you’re so strong. I’m begging you… Stay with me…”

Spencer?

Yes, there was no doubt that it was him even if his voice carried in the distance, each word fading further and further. You wanted so badly to answer him, to shout you were okay, that you could hear him, that you were there with him.

But were you really okay?

No, I’m not.

And the more you fought against the darkness, the more it sucked you into its heavy vortex.

You fought, you really tried, but you didn't have the strength. You were too weak, too tired.

You just wanted to rest for a bit.

God please let me okay.

You eventually gave up, stopped fighting and let yourself be lulled by that darkness.

It was so peaceful.

There wasn’t any more pain. Any suffering.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad.

Five hours earlier

“I really don't feel like going to work this morning,” your husband kept complaining. You were both still in your bedroom, you were sitting while Spencer was lying next to you, his arm around your hips and his head on your lap.

“Hotch will kill you if you take a day off without warning,” you giggled, running your fingers through his fluffy hair. “I also wish you could stay here love, I feel so lonely here without you. But unfortunately you can’t.”

Spencer huffed, holding you even tighter. “I know I'm so sorry baby, I hate leaving you alone. I'm always so worried.”

“Oh yeah I know, the three thousand texts you send me always asking me if I'm okay prove it.” You teased him and even though you couldn't see him you knew full well he rolled his eyes.

“Ah, ah, keep making fun of me,” he retorted. “Is it really weird I want to keep you safe?”.

“No baby, I was joking. You know very well I love you're so protective of me and besides, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry about me.”

He kept caressing your side, leaving a kiss on it at the level of your scar, a gesture that made your heart melt. He looked up at you and smiled before propping himself up on his elbows, resting his free hand on your face and pressing his lips on yours. A flock of butterflies exploded in your stomach.

It didn't matter how long you two were together, you felt the same butterflies, the same feeling as in the early days, he still managed to make your heart skip a beat with just a kiss.

God I love this man so much.

“What will I do without you?” Spencer pouted, already missing you before he even got out of bed and got dressed. “I just hope we won’t have any case.”

Spencer had left for work, but not before recommending you to call and text him if you needed anything. You reassured him, telling him not to worry, that everything would be fine and of course you wouldn't hesitate to call him.

You settled on the couch and spent the morning watching episodes of your favorite TV show which, although you loved it, was getting tiresome.

Three weeks earlier you had been injured on duty while chasing a serial killer who had shot you as he tried to escape.

You were fine but Spencer, being his overprotective self, refused to let you do anything that involved physical effort and prevented you in any way from returning back to work before the five weeks of rest recommended by the doctor. And it didn't help that Hotch agreed with him.

Spencer did nothing but text you all morning when he could, asking how you were as if you were in a hospital bed. You reassured him, sending him selfies of you lying on the couch, asking him how things were going at the unit.

You loved Spencer so much, you loved the way he always protected you, the way he was so thoughtful of you, the way he always put you first in any moment and situation.

The morning was rather boring so you decided to keep yourself busy with cooking something for lunch, that you wanted to bring to Spencer too since you missed him and didn't want to wait until the evening to see him again. But you also wanted to see the rest of the team again. You hated to say it, but you missed those assholes.

As you packed your and Spencer's lunch, your phone vibrated on the table.

From: Spence 💍, 12.47 AM Is it weird I miss you so terribly? I'll never get used to not seeing you here.

You smiled like an idiot, knowing how much Spencer wasn't a fan of technology but despite this being committed to use it since you couldn't live without it.

To: Spence 💍, 12:50 AM Have I ever told you I’m so madly in love with you Doctor Reid? I miss you so much more xx

You placed your phone on the table and continued putting away your lunch. When you finished, you grabbed some clean cutlery and paper napkins and then looked at your phone, noticing he didn’t answer your text yet.

You left the house after making sure you locked the door, you went to your car, pulling your phone out of your purse to send an audio message to Spencer.

“Baby don’t eat anything because I'm coming with your favorite food. It's a little burnt I have to admit, but in my defense I was distracted watching TV,” you let out a small laugh. “If you know what's best for you, you'll better say it's delicious or you'll sleep on the couch tonight. I love you so much, see you soon!”.

You got into your car and placed the two lunch boxes on the passenger seat. While driving, you were careful not to brake suddenly to avoid all the food spilling into your car.

You stopped at a red light and you took you phone to see if Spencer had texted you back but he didn’t.

The light turned green after almost thirty seconds and you placed your phone in your purse again before starting to drive again. You were at an intersection and you just drove few meters before your saw out of the corner of your eye a car speeding towards you.

You turned your head towards it and tried to brake but you weren't very fast.

Everything happened quickly.

A sudden, deafening thud made your ears ring and time seemed to stop for an instant.

You didn't have time to react, to even let out a scream or do anything else before that car hit you full force on the side.

If someone had asked you to describe what had happened in that moment, you wouldn’t have been able to do it because you didn’t even know what had happened in the first place, having lost consciousness before you could realize you had just been involved in a car crash.

Spencer was unaware in the meantime his whole life was about to undergo something he’d never, ever want to face, something he continually lived in fear of happening.

He and the rest of the team were in the meeting room, investigating on a case of a serial killer that the police in a nearby town had asked for help with. It was a simple case, so it wasn't even necessary for the whole team to go there.

“Reid focus.” Hotch had warned him several times when during the morning he caught him on his cell phone, the small smile shadowed his lips making it obvious who he was talking to. So he had put his cell phone in his pocket although his mind always went towards you.

He wondered what you were doing although knowing you, you were probably watching some TV show and the thought of you lying on the sofa, curled up under the blanket made him smile, earning you a small pat on the back of the head from Morgan.

“Focus pretty boy, I know you miss your beautiful wife but we have a case to solve.”

This had started a series of jokes and teasing towards Reid who in response would gave everyone the middle finger.

The truth was that he missed you deeply, he missed looking up and seeing you sitting at your desk filling out some case report with your pen between your lips and the wedding ring shining on your finger, he missed flirting with you in a not-so-subtle way and being made fun of by the whole team, even Hotch. He missed traveling from city to city and working with you to catch ruthless killers, he missed seeing you sitting in your chair around the meeting room table.

He couldn't wait for those two more weeks to pass, although the worry you still hadn't fully recovered didn't leave his mind.

His phone suddenly started ringing and he muttered an 'excuse me' before taking it out of his pocket and reading your name on the screen.

He moved away from the others so he could answer the call.

“Hi baby! What...-” He started but stopped immediately after when a voice that didn't belong to you interrupted him, making the smile he had on his lips instantly disappear.

“Do you happen to know Y/n Y/Ln? We found this number among the emergency contacts.”

Spencer frowned, his heart already eating wildly and anxiety twisting his guts. “Y-yes. She’s my wife… What's going on? Who am I talking to? Where’s she? Is she okay?”.

“I'm sorry to inform you that your wife was involved in a car accident, she’s in serious conditions…”

Spencer froze in place, the man's words echoing in his head while he couldn't process them.

What the fuck?

“C-can you repeat that?” He stammered, hoping it was just a misunderstanding, that the man had gotten the wrong person. “There must be a mistake m-my wife… She’s… She’s at home…”

“I’m very sorry sir…”

Spencer Reid, who had always been a quiet, calm and collected person, completely lost his mind.

After getting the address of the car crash site he ran at lightning speed out of the unit, ignoring the voices of Derek and the rest of the team who called him worriedly.

His mind wasn't focused on anyone else but you and as he sped through the streets he couldn't help but think about what the hell had happened.

You were supposed to be home, on the couch watching TV. Why did you went out? Why didn't you text him?

His stomach clenched with anxiety, an emotion he wasn't familiar with but since he'd met you he often seemed to feel because of the constant and devastating fear something bad might happen to you.

He wasn't good with feelings, everyone knew it, but thanks to you he had learned to give voice to what he felt, he had learned to embrace those sensations and emotions he struggled to show from an early age and that for so long he wanted to suppress.

A lump kept pressing on his throat, almost suffocating him. He continued to murmur and hope you were okay but when he arrived at the scene his heart almost stopped again.

The car crash scene was a disaster.

Various passers-by had gathered in shock from a distance to watch curiously as the fire fighters and paramedics worked on those piles of scrap metal that were the cars.

They were completely destroyed and no one believed the two drivers had made it given the catastrophic impact.

Various emotions had passed through Reid, emotions that he could group into one word: dying. That’s how he felt, dying.

He pushed through the crowd of people, pushing them aside and ignoring those who complained in response. After identifying himself with the cops he ran towards the wreckage where the rescuers and firefighters had just pulled you out of the destroyed car.

“Let me go! That's my wife right there!” He continued to exclaim loudly while two cops struggled to restrain him. His gaze was fixed on you, on your unconscious body while the rescuers carried you on the stretcher.

“Sir you need to let the paramedics do their job! I know it's a horrible situation but this will only hinder them!”.

Spencer was a guy who didn't like conflicts but at that precise moment he was willing to kill those cops with his bare hands.

He snorted loudly, pulling out his badge. “I'm an FBI agent and if you don't let me go to my wife right now I will make your life a living hell and have your badges on my desk before tomorrow.”

It only happened very few times he’d threatened someone, and most of them were to extort information or to make a killer to confess, but the way his wild and desperate eyes were glaring at the two cops, made them understand he wasn't bluffing at all.

They eventually let him pass and he ran towards you.

You lay unconscious on the stretcher, your body covered in your own blood. You had an oxygen mask on your face, a collar around your neck to stabilize it and Spencer had to rely on all the strength he had in his body not to collapse there in front of everyone.

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe it was true.

He grabbed your hand with his, the diamond of your ring pressing against his palm. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, not wanting to let his emotions overwhelm him. He couldn't be weak, not now, not when you needed him.

“Baby!”.

He called your name, desperation clear in his voice. His eyes scanned your face, always beautiful as the sun even if dotted with scratches and bruises.

“Y/n!”.

He called your name again, with even more urgency and desperation, hoping that hearing his voice would wake you up.

“You hear me? Please answer me.”

“Sir we have to go to the hospital immediately. We have no time to waste.” The paramedic's voice brought him back to reality and Spencer nodded, never taking his eyes off you.

“Please hold on, everything will be okay I promise. Please… Don’t leave me,” he whispered to you before turning to the paramedics. “I’m coming with you.”

The journey to the hospital was the longest and most painful ride Reid had ever made in his entire life.

He never let go of your hand, occasionally kissing your knuckles as he carefully watched every little movement the paramedics made.

At a certain point his heart rekindled with hope when he saw your eyelids move and open slightly.

“Y/n baby! Can you hear me? Y/n!” He exclaimed but his hope faded when he saw your eyelids close a second later and you lose consciousness again.

“Please baby hold on, if you hear me please fight,” His eyes filled with tears but he tried to fight them back, this wasn’t the time to cry. “I know you’re so strong, I’m begging you… Stay with me… I'm here, I'm here, and I’m not leaving you. Everything will be fine, you’ll be okay.”

You had a cardiac arrest on the way to the hospital but they managed to revive you and needless to say, this freaked out Spencer even more than he already was.

You died in front of him.

For a few moments your heart had stopped beating and the terror Spencer felt was a sensation he had never felt before. Maybe only when something happened to you during the job. He had always told you that you’d give him a heart attack sooner or later.

When the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Spencer barely had time to say anything before the doctors rushed you to the OR, leaving him helpless.

He passed his hands on his face, then fingers in his hair as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.

He had heard the police say the driver that hit you had lost control of his car after feeling dizzy, failing to stop at the red light and hitting you while you had just started driving again after the green light.

You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It had all been a stupid twist of fate and now you had to fight to live.

Spencer didn't believe in fate, he didn't believe there was some superior being or entity, he believed in science, in empirical data, in theories proven by hypotheses and theses, but then why did this happen? Why was the love of his life fighting between life and death?

Why did it seem like someone or something wanted to snatch his happiness away when he was finally happy?

He walked back and forth across the floor of the waiting room for what seemed an infinite amount of time, almost digging a ditch in the wake of his footsteps.

He had called Hotch, told him about the car crash and that you were in surgery and he reassured him the whole team would be there in no time.

It wasn't until after you ended the call with Hotch that Spencer saw your last messages, including the audio text you'd sent him.

His fingers were shaking and he sat down, fearing his knees would give out sooner or later.

His eyes filled with tears again as they read the message and the chasm inside his heart opened even more. But it was when he listened to your audio message the air was completely sucked out of his lungs and it became difficult to continue breathing.

“Baby don’t eat anything because I'm coming with your favorite food. It's a little burnt I have to admit, but in my defense I was distracted watching TV,” He heard you giggle while in the background he heard the car door open and close shortly after, a sign that you had just gotten into the car. “If you know what's best for you, you'll better say it's delicious or you'll sleep on the couch tonight. I love you so much, see you soon!”.

Your audio cut out and Spencer only realized he was crying when tears fell from his eyes onto his phone screen.

He was completely devastated.

It was his fault.

You went out because you were going to bring him food.

He couldn't process what was happening, he couldn't conceive it.

How did you go from hugging in bed that morning to you in the OR? For what kind of fucked up reason did this happen to you? Among the many people who could’ve been at that damned intersection, why did it have to be you?

Spencer knew it wasn't right to hope it happened to someone else but he didn’t care, fuck, he wished it’d happened to himself.

For the first time in his whole life Spencer prayed.

He prayed with every fiber of his being to whoever was up there to make you survive, he prayed to be able to see you again, hug you, kiss you again. He prayed to hear your laugh again, your awful jokes, to see your smile and your eyes shining when you saw him, he prayed to be able to sleep with you again, to wake up in the morning and smell the scent of your skin and hair, of feeling your fingers run through his messy hair while you were watching a movie and he had his head resting on your lap.

He prayed to still have time with you. He prayed to start a family with you even though the thought of it terrified him because he had no idea how to be a parent, but at the same time knowing there was no other person he’d want to do it if not you. He begged to tease you when the first wrinkles would appear on your beautiful face but to console you at the same time saying you were still the most beautiful and breathtaking woman he had ever met in his life.

He prayed to see your hair turn white, to see your children have kids of their own, he prayed to hold your hand until the end of your days.

He couldn't imagine a place on the planet where you didn't exist, where you weren't with him.

You two just got married, you had just started your life together, it couldn't all just vanish like that, in the blink of an eye, it just couldn't end.

You were strong. This was one of the many qualities Spencer admired about you, you were much stronger than you wanted to show and if there was anyone who could overcome that obstacle it was you.

The rest of the BAU had arrived after about fifteen minutes, both with worried and heartbroken expressions on their faces except Penelope, who was crying almost as many tears as she had.

“Reid!”.

JJ's voice made Spencer snap his head up from his phone, not realizing he had been mesmerized by looking at the picture he had as his background. It was a photo of you he took during a picnic during one of your first dates after you got together, Spencer had told a horrible joke and you had burst out laughing.

Spencer was so hypnotized by you, by the sound of your laugh, by your smile, by the small wrinkles at the corners of your eyes that he couldn't resist taking a photo and since then it had become his wallpaper and one of his favorite photos of you ever.

Everyone could notice the swelling of Spencer's eyes, evidence of the crying.

“Come here pretty boy.”

Morgan was the first to approach Spencer, pulling him in a brotherly hug, squeezing him with all the strength he had in his body, as if wanting to convey to him some of that strength he knew he tremendously needed.

“She's gonna make it okay? We know Y/n, that woman is a force of nature. She’ll make it.” He whispered in his ear, trying to hold back his emotions.

Everyone tried to appear as strong as possible but the truth was they too felt a boulder pressing on their stomach. Before being Spencer's wife, his partner, you were a colleague, a friend to all of them.

Nobody said anything else.

There were no need for words, everyone knew it’d be of no use.

They all tried to comfort each other, Emily was holding Garcia's hand the entire time, JJ and Morgan were sitting next to Spencer while Hotch and Rossi were standing not far from the others, all silently praying for you wellbeing.

Reid's body was sitting in the waiting room, surrounded by his friends and colleagues, yet his mind was completely elsewhere. His thoughts ran and ran, without stopping, so fast he didn't know which ones to listen to first.

Spencer and the team spent hours sitting in the waiting room, waiting for some doctor to come and update them on your health. He hoped the longer they took it meant there was a better chance of you getting through the surgery.

When he saw a doctor approaching where they were sitting, it was as if a vision manifested in front of him. His heart was beating wildly, so loudly he thought everyone around him could hear it while anxiety twisted his stomach so much he feared he’d throw up on the doctor's feet.

“Are you Y/n Y/Ln's family?” the doctor asked.

“I'm her husband. How is she? Please tell me she's okay. When can I see her?” Spencer blathered once he jumped up and approached doctor - he read the card - Miller.

He looked skeptically at the rest of the team, and then Spencer spoke. “It’s okay, we’re all colleagues, a family. How is Y/n? She made it right?”.

Spencer observed the micro-expressions on Dr. Miller's face. He noticed how his eyebrows furrowed slightly, how his chest rose slightly and fell, how his lips pressed together, how his neck stiffened and his posture tensed.

He knew that expression, unfortunately he knew it too well because of the job he did. It was the same expression with which he looked at the victims’ families when he was about to give them the worst and most devastating news of their lives.

Spencer saw that but decided to ignore it, he decided not to listen to his guts.

“The patient suffered much more serious damage than we imagined…”

“And what are you doing here? Go help her!” Spencer exclaimed, abruptly interrupting the doctor.

“Due to the violent trauma and along with broken bones, the ruptured spleen, the liver damage as well as the amount of blood she lost, she had also suffered a dissection of the ascending aorta.”

Spencer's heart stopped.

“W-what? What does that mean doctor?” It was Penelope who asked.

“It’s the tearing of the aorta’s wall, the largest vessel in our body. It has weakened due to the trauma and it’s no longer able to pump blood towards the other blood vessels and consequently the entire body can’t receive enough blood. Trying to repair it’s practically impossible, as her heart has already stopped once, she’s too weak to face a surgery, and the dissection further aggravates the situation. She would die on the OR table before we can even get to the aorta,” Dr. Miller explained, trying to be as clear as possible.

“Dissection of the ascending aorta is unfortunately one of the most serious vascular conditions and… There is no easy way to say it, we have done everything we can but she does't have much time left. It's a matter of hours…”

A deafening silence fell in the waiting room.

Almost everyone put their hands to their mouths to try to cover the gasps and sobs, Hotch stared at his shoes while shaking his head in disbelief. No one could believe what they had just heard.

Spencer couldn't hear a word Dr. Miller said. His brain refused to process them, because it couldn't be true, there must have been some misunderstanding.

Maybe he had confused patient, maybe he had talked to the wrong family.

“No, no, no!” Spencer exclaimed loudly. Morgan put a hand on his shoulder but he shook it violently. “Don’t touch me!” Then he went on to point a finger at Dr. Miller.

“Say it again.”

“Sir…”

“Reid…” Rossi whispered.

“Say it again!” He shouted, his voice shaking. “Say it! Because there is no way on earth I just heard my wife is fucking dying! Say it again!”.

Spencer's voice cracked at the end and he burst into tears, bending to the ground as he felt his legs gave out.

Dr. Miller looked at Spencer with sadness while he was in the throes of disbelief and despair. Nobody dared to say anything, they too had to process that mourning, but they all knew that Spencer needed time more than anyone.

How do you react calmly when someone tells you that your partner, the love of your life, is about to die?

And it wasn't just any person, someone he just met, but you. You were dying.

Doctor Miller knelt in front of Spencer, placing a hand on his shoulder as he continued to cry all the tears he had in his body. “I'm so sorry, if there had been anything, anything we could’ve done to save her we would’ve done please trust me. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now but she's in the ICU now and she's awake, we gave her morphine so she doesn't feel any pain. Go and say goodbye to her, okay?”.

The world was collapsing on him, everything was disintegrating around him and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

How the fuck did this happen? How the fuck was that possible?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't process what was happening.

It shouldn't have happened, not to you, you didn't deserve it.

He was terrified, more than he had ever been in his entire life, not even when he had been kidnapped and tortured by a ruthless killer.

Images after images of moments with you continued to flood his mind while a sense of anguish gripped his stomach, so strong he couldn't stop crying.

He cried.

Everyone cried with him in that waiting room, hugging each other.

All his dreams had been shattered, they had all vanished in the blink of an eye, flown away like a grain of sand in the sea.

Where did his ‘forever’ go?

His forever was in the ICU and was about to die. The only person he had ever loved, the only person who had ever understood him without trying to fix him, the only person who had ever made him happy, who had made him understand the meaning of the word love, who had made him believe that even if he came from a dysfunctional family that didn't mean the same fate would happen to him, the only person for whom he lived, breathed, for whom he committed himself every single day to fight his demons and ghosts was about to walk away forever.

How do you survive something like that?

What would he have done without you?

Spencer couldn't live without you.

He couldn't even imagine waking up in the morning and not finding you. He couldn't imagine coming home at night and knowing you’d be dead. He couldn’t imagine going in the kitchen and not smelling your food. He couldn’t imagine watch a romantic movie and not seeing you cry your eyes out.

No, no, no, fuck, that couldn't be true.

One by one they all came to you to say goodbye but no one spoke to each other. Spencer didn’t have the strength to walk into that room, he hoped till the last minute it was just a nightmare and he’d soon wake up.

There was only desperation and so many, many tears. Even Hotchner, always so serious and impeccable, couldn't stop the tears when he left your room, moving away from the others so as not to be seen.

The last one was him.

When it was Spencer's turn he was terrified.

His fingers trembled as they were about to open the door. He didn't have the courage to enter that room, look you in the eyes, say goodbye to his love.

With what strength would he have hugged you knowing it would be the last time? How would he be able to say goodbye? How would he be able to tell you he loved you knowing it was the last time? How could he let you go?

Every step he took was heavy, leaving a piece of his tormented soul behind each one.

Seeing you was like a punch in the stomach, like every time his eyes rested on you but that time what he felt wasn't happiness but only sadness, desperation, anguish and helplessness.

Oh my everlasting love. You didn't deserve all of this.

You lay in bed, a nasal cannula supplying you with oxygen, electrodes connecting your body to monitors that marked a low blood pressure and a below-normal heart rate.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to rely on what little strength he had to not collapse to the floor and burst into desperate tears again. But the shine of his eyes, their swelling and redness showed how intensely he had cried in the last few hours.

You looked at him and he felt breathless.

How will I live without those eyes?

“Hi baby.”

His voice trembled, smiling slightly as he moved closer to you. He couldn't conceive the idea that the last time he had seen you was that same morning and you were fine, while at that moment you were on a hospital bed dying.

He pulled up a chair and sat next to you. He took one of your hands in his, intertwining your fingers and leaving a kiss on the back of it. All it took was for your skin to come in contact with his for him to burst into inconsolable and suffocating tears again.

He wrapped his arms around your hips, his head resting on your abdomen as you stroked his hair. It was a projection from that same morning but the difference was that this time would be the last.

He would no longer hug you, he would no longer be lulled by the warmth of your arms, feel your fingers run through his messy and tangled hair.

Silence reigned in the room, interrupted only by Spencer's sobs as he continued to cry desperately. He held you like he had never done before, as if in that way he hoped you would stay.

“It's okay…” you barely whispered, weakened and groggy from the morphine.

You felt… Apathetic.

You couldn't describe the emotions you felt at that moment, ever since the doctor told you didn’t have much time you felt anesthetized.

It was as if you were seeing everything from an external perspective, as if it wasn't really you lying on the bed, as if it wasn't you who was going to die in a few hours.

Not a tear had rolled down yours, not even when the rest of your team had come to say their final goodbyes.

You didn't want to feel like this, you didn't want to be apathetic, so numb. You wanted to feel anger, pain, helplessness, anguish, anxiety, anything, you wanted to cry, scream, but the more you tried, the more you couldn't.

“Don’t leave me please…” Spencer's sobs interrupted him. He continued to cling to you, to hold onto you as if his life depended on it.

“Baby, look at me.” Your voice was hoarse, thick with sleep and tiredness.

“No, no, no, I know what you want to tell me… No…” He held you even tighter than before. “You can't leave me…”

He turned his head towards you, his vision completely blurred with tears, his face wet. He brought his hands to your face, caressed your cheeks, your hair and tried as much as possible to imprint every detail of your skin in his memory.

“You're so beautiful baby,” he whispered, “It's not fair…”

“I know,” you whispered back weakly, “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But it's so unpredictable, isn't it?”.

“No, life sucks.”

You placed a hand on his still on your face, closing your eyes for a moment and enjoying the feeling of warmth that only he could give you.

“I know everything seems bad right now, I know you'll think this long after I'm gone but it's not like that love, life doesn't suck. It’s the most beautiful gift we could ever have...” you murmured with no small effort, your breathing heavy and difficult.

He shook his head. “Bullshit. You are my life, baby...” He cried. “I can't live without you. I can't... I can't go home and not find you there, I can't sleep without you next to me, I can't go to work and look up and not find you sitting there at your desk… I can’t…”

“Of course you can you’re the strongest person I know baby, even if you don't recognize it. You’ll be happy again...” You placed a hand on his cheek, drying with your fingers his tears that never stopped coming out. “Promise me one thing.”

“No, no, no, I can't, don't do this to me please… Don't make me promise something I can't keep baby…”

“Spencer, please. I can't leave knowing you won't be happy, please, I need to know you’ll at least try... Promise me...”

A solitary tear rolled down your face, even though you didn't even realize it at the time.

He shook his head, looking down as he continued to cry. He sat down on the bed next to you, pulling you into a hug you tried to return with the little strength you had left.

He left a long kiss on your head, inhaling deeply that beautiful scent he’d never be able to smell again in his life. He rested his cheek on you, letting your hair tickle his skin.

“I can't… I can't…” he repeated, feeling the air disappear more and more from his lungs. “You’re the first person who made me understand what it means to be happy baby… I don’t how to do it without you… D-don't… You can't ask me… I’m begging you…”

You slightly pulled away from him, cupping your hands on his face and smiling slightly through the tears you hadn't even realized you were shedding.

You were crying.

“I wouldn't ask you if I knew you couldn't Spence. I know it’ll be hard but life is beautiful baby, so damn beautiful and deserves to be lived to the full. Plus, I'm not really leaving okay? My body may no longer be here but my soul will always be with you, I’ll always be here when you need me, I will never leave you.” You spoke softly, your breathing heavy with each word. You placed a hand at his heart level which was beating wildly at that moment.

He shook his head again, still crying as desperation enveloped him more and more. “But I-I want you here…”

“Shh, listen to me love, please…” You stopped due to a cough. Spencer rushed to get you a glass of water from the bedside table, helping you drink and stroking your back in the meantime. “Thanks baby.”

Despite the morphine you still felt a weight on your chest, your lungs couldn't expand and everything hurt.

But it wasn't physical pain.

It was your soul that was hurting.

“Listen to me…” You started speaking feebly again, looking Spencer in his eyes, losing yourself in those two beautiful wells. “I need to know you’ll move on baby, that you’ll find someone you’ll love again and who will love you so deeply like I did, with whom you’ll build a beautiful family, with whom you’ll have children, a beautiful house and a dog if you want. This doesn’t mean you’ll forget about me, I’ll always be by your side at every step you take, I promise you, I’ll watch over you and if you need anything you just have to talk to me... Maybe not in front of other people or they’ll think you’re crazy.”

He chuckled through his tears and your heart skipped a beat. “That’s it. That’s the beautiful smile I always want to see, God you make me so happy.”

“There will be no one after you baby.”

“Spence please…-”

“No, no, you can't ask me that,” he murmured, his tone of voice so melancholy and sorrowful it made your gut wrench. “When I married you I never thought for a second there could be an ‘after you’, never, even though I knew the risks we both ran because of our jobs. There will never be anyone after you Y/n, there will never be anyone who can ever make me happy like you do, there will never be anyone I will ever love as much as I love you. It… It wouldn't be right...” He let out a deep sigh “It wouldn't be right for her, for... For the children because I wouldn't love them as much as I love you, because I would look at them and only think I could’ve had all that with you and I don't want that…”

He stroked your hair, looking at you with so much love it made your heart melt.

You didn’t want your time to end. You wanted to be with him, forever.

“Spencer… I-I'm terrified…” You managed to murmur before bursting into desperate, heartbreaking tears. Spencer hugged you while you sobbed into his sweater.

“I know… I know…”

Terrified didn't even come close to describing how you felt at that moment.

I'm dying.

Soon I won't be here anymore.

You couldn't conceive it, realize it, you couldn't accept it. But then again, how could you? Who would ever accept a death sentence?

You weren't ready.

You didn't want to leave Spencer, God, you had so many dreams to achieve together and it wasn't fucking right, it wasn't.

You just wanted to bring lunch and eat with your beloved husband, spend some time with him, why did this have to happen to you? What did you do wrong? You hadn't died from a bullet three weeks earlier but you were about to die for wanting to see your husband.

Why didn't you just stay home? If you had done it you would’ve been fine, you would’ve just had to wait for Spencer to come home that evening so you could hug him again. If you had done it you would’ve slept in the same bed, together that night, perhaps after making love, the next morning you would’ve woken up with his scent and his warmth, you would’ve had breakfast together.

You both cried until you couldn't breathe, holding on to each other as if you were both each other's lifelines.

You felt weak, every moment that passed breathing was like a punch in the stomach even though the oxygen flow had been turned up to maximum.

Hours passed and every minute that passed the fear paralyzed you more and more.

Spencer stayed next to you the entire time, hugging you and tightly holding your hand. You’d think he had shed all the tears he had in his body but instead he had never stopped, he continued to cling to you, to hold you in the hope that a miracle would happen.

He didn't believe in miracles, he thought there was a reason for everything, but in that moment he prayed for one to happen with every fiber of his being.

Your eyelids felt heavy and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

You were tired, so fucking tired, just wanting to rest for a bit but knowing if you definitely close your eyes you wouldn’t be able to open them again.

“Do you think heaven exists?” You whispered in a small, thin voice. Spencer kissed your forehead, continuing to stroke your hair as his salty tears kept running down his cheeks.

“Of course it exists, all the angels are just waiting for you. I'm pretty sure you’ll be the most beautiful angel of all, dressed in white and with the light surrounding you.”

You giggled, only to be interrupted by yet another cough. You were so grateful to have Spencer, that even though he didn't believe in an afterlife, in heaven, in angels, still tried to make you feel better.

“I'm so tired baby…” you murmured, closing your eyes for a few seconds before opening them again.

He held you tighter, feeling more tears streak down his face. “I know my love, but you can rest, I’ll always be here I promise, I’ll never leave you.”

“Spencer, you are the greatest and most beautiful love I have ever had in life, you made me the happiest I've ever been and I want to thank you for everything, for everything you have done for me, for teaching me the truth meaning of love…” You took a deep breath. “I will love you forever, I hope you know that, in this world and wherever else I’ll go. I know we’ll meet again, even if not in this life, we’ll meet in next one.”

He shook his head in despair as he continued to sob and cry. He wasn't ready to say goodbye, he wasn't ready to let you go, but who he was kidding, he never would be.

“I love you so much my darling, I will always love you until my last breath.”

He kissed your forehead softly again, pressing his lips to your skin longer than expected as he tried to make the most of those last moments with you.

“You’re the best and most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I love you, always and forever,” he kept whispered, hugging you. But you couldn't hug him back.

You had closed your eyes and fallen asleep, in the arms of the person you loved most in the world where you always wished your last moments would be.

The room was filled with sounds from the monitor connected to your heart, which had started to slow down.

Your heartbeat had slowed.

More and more.

Until it stopped and all that was left was a flat line.

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holybibly · 2 months

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I adore your writing so much and I wanted to submit my unholy thoughts on how obsessed I am with Hongjoong and any time he is on his knees! The idea of him looking up through those beautiful long lashes with such desire in his eyes ready to please you in every way he can. Being such a good boy and running your fingers through his sexy ass hair even pulling at it causing him to want to work even harder for you. I mean even the idea of it being in the shower is just as sexy!

Hongjoong kneeling, yes please, anytime, day or night, 24/7.

I wanted to take a little break today because I'm currently editing the second part of Pretty Flushed 👀 and maybe, just maybe, I'll post it this weekend. Not sure yet. But the thought of a needy Hongjoong on his knees in front of you in the shower—those damn lustrous and sweet eyes as you ran your hand through his silky hair—just couldn't get it out of my head. And so I came to you, bunnies, to make sure that image lives on in your minds.

Okay, let's say you're Seonghwa's girlfriend. You're completely happy in your relationship. He's a wonderful man, but there's one problem: his work. It takes up a lot of his time, and sometimes you really have the feeling that you need more attention and love from him. Obviously, the sex was simply amazing. Seonghwa knows exactly how to drive you crazy with his long fingers and his tongue, and after he has scolded you, you won't be able to walk for days on end.

But you want more, and just like your amazing boyfriend, Seonghwa will do anything to make you a happy and spoiled princess by fulfilling all your desires.

One night, he gives you the greatest gift of all—a sweet little kitten, Hongjoong.

Beautiful moist chocolate eyes that look up at you through long lashes, soft pink lips, smooth skin that shines from the dry oil that Seonghwa has rubbed on him before, silky hair, and a soft voice. And, of course, all of this was tied up with silk ribbons and bows for your enjoyment.

Hongjoong was unbelievable, and you would never have thought that Seonghwa's strange, quiet friend could look so damned seductive.

Hongjoong had always been fond of you; he couldn't help it.

From the day Seonghwa introduced you to him, he just couldn't stop thinking about you. He dreamed about you every night, imagining how he would kiss your soft thighs while kneeling in front of you and how he would carry out any of your orders without question in order to receive praise from you. Every time he would look at you, he would imagine burying his face between your legs, while you would stroke his hair and call him a pretty little kitten. And God, he would be the best damned kitty in the world for you.

Hongjoong would never be a disappointment to you.

So when Seonghwa mentioned during one of their meetings that you had been feeling upset and lonely lately because of his constant workload, Hongjoong had no hesitation in offering himself as your toy. It was a complete shock to him that Seonghwa was so enthusiastic about the idea—that it was exactly the kind of thing you were in need of.

A cute little toy of your own that you can spend time with while he is away at work.

Hongjoong couldn't have been happier. ******

You rolled your eyes as Hongjoong's lips began sucking on the skin of your inner thigh, his slender fingers slowly pumping in and out of you.

You'd had a hell of a day and Seonghwa wasn't there to help you release all that frustration, but Hongjoong, your sweet kitty, was happy to help.

The shower was hot and stuffy, and the glass was fogged up from the steam that was coming out of the water. Hongjoong was kneeling before you, arching his body in the most attractive way, thrusting his curvaceous ass and arching his back. As he explored your thighs with his lips, his wet gaze from under those incredibly long and thick eyelashes did not let you out of his sight for a single second.

His fingers stretch your pussy beautifully and skillfully, using slow strokes as Hongjoong catches you reacting, almost out of breath. He is so desperate for your pleasure.

"I'll do whatever you tell me to do." He whispers into your skin, his sweet lips sliding across it until they are in contact with your wet folds. Your fingers run through his wet hair, tugging lightly at the silky strands as he lets out a melodious moan. The vibration of his voice reaches all the way to the centre of you.

"Hongjoong..."

"Please, let me please you." He looks so fucked up with that soft, bleary look in his eyes, those kissable red lips, and that glowing golden skin that is dripping with water.

"Yes, you can do it." And that was exactly what Hongjoong wanted to hear.

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valorant-drabbles · 6 months

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I am in dire need of more iso x reader so bad

Can I ask for Iso x cold! sniper! reader Can be platonic or romantic if it's okay (・∀・)

So reader has been part of the protocol for a while before iso (they joined just after gekko) and she's still a lone wolf then enters Iso. They would always coincidentally bump into each other and reader would just nod at him and walk past him even though Iso tries to strike up a conversation. (also reader is prone to getting hurt all the time whether it's on a mission or just a normal everyday fistfight with strangers)

One mission Iso and reader were both in the same team, timeskip to team entering battle, so reader pushes Iso out of the way and takes a hit resulting in reader being critically injured so when they got back to HQ Iso confronts them

Thanks for requesting! I will say, this was a little tough considering I don’t know much about Iso’s personality aside from what it says on the wiki. I apologize if this is ooc! Hopefully I did him justice!

Gender-Neutral Reader written, but input whichever gender you prefer/identify as if you’d like!

Summary: Lone wolf Reader keeps their distance from everyone- even from the newest recruit, Iso. Despite his best efforts to be friendly, conversations are avoided or cut short. But one fatal injury on the battlefield is the final straw, before Iso decides that he’s had enough of the ‘stand-off-ish’ façade, and demands answers. Does the reader actually give a shit or not?

Warnings: Some cursing, critical injury (nothing graphic), near death experience, possibly ooc Iso?

Word Count: 2.3k

Cold Shoulder

Reader x Iso

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

When Iso initially joined the Protocol, he was expecting to be treated with an air of caution. He was, quite literally, an assassin. And to boot, one that had been requested to target one of the Protocol's agents; Omen. Many were still skeptical of him- and he couldn't exactly blame them. For all they know, he could've joined Valorant to make his job easier to finish.

It had been a fair few weeks by that point. Some of the agents had come around, seeing that Iso wasn't just out for blood and, in fact, was seeking haven within their walls. His skills in the field proved expert, proving further to any doubters amongst VP's ranks that he was worth the risk; the myth incarnate.

Though he was far from the most impressive in the field. As arrogant as Iso could be, even he couldn't doubt the abilities of his fellow agents; with Reyna and Chamber both being most fascinating to him. The empress herself, and the expert marksman... could there be a more intriguing member to be drawn to?

Yes, actually.

Expert sniper rivalling even Chamber's ability, Y/N was incredible to witness on the battlefield, and Iso very quickly found himself drawn to his fellow agent. Swift, precise, seemingly always appearing at the right moment to save someone's ass; hell, even Yoru couldn't help but be grateful for Y/N's sharp eye.

Unfortunately for him, Y/N was notorious amongst the agents for being one of the coldest people there, keeping to themselves when not on a mission; even proving a tad short-tempered at times as well. They had quite the record for starting fights with certain agents-- okay, yes, it was Yoru, and yes, it was very much warranted.

Yet... Y/N intrigued him still. As a result, he did his very best to get on their good side. Complimenting their aim after a particularly close call, offering to grab them some coffee on cold mornings... he'd even tried to strike up a conversation once or twice. To no avail, sadly. But it didn't stop him from trying. He was nothing if not persistent.

"Y/N!" Iso raised his hand in greeting, as he spotted you across the hall, supposedly heading his way. Another chance, he thought- maybe he'd get some progress today. Y/N had noticed the newest agent greeting them, and nodded firmly in recognition. Did Iso... just get acknowledged? That was a first with you! It excited him a bit more than perhaps he might've thought.

"I saw you in the shooting range earlier... looked like you were having a competition with Phoenix. Heard you wiped the floor with him, good job." Iso started as you approached him. You gave a small shrug in response, hands in your pockets as your sniper rifle hung off your back. "It wasn't much of a challenge. He was too distracted with trying to impress me to... well, impress me. It was finished rather quick."

That didn't surprise Iso in the slightest. Phoenix did have a slight ego, always feeling the need to try and impress the newer agents in hopes of gaining their respect. So far it'd only really worked with Gekko and Harbor... and that was enough for him to do it even more frequently.

Before the assassin could open his mouth to add anything to the conversation, he found himself being brushed by rather quickly by you. His eyebrows knit together slightly in frustration as he turned just as you passed, reaching out to grab your shoulder.

"Y/N, wait-"

"Don't touch me." You scolded coldly, your tone enough to startle Iso into retracting his hand immediately. He cursed himself internally- why had he done that? He must've broken a boundary by touching you, even if it was innocently. Fuck.

"I'm sor-"

Slam went a door in his face. Your door. To your room. Had he been standing in front of your door this whole time...? God, how creepy he must've come off, he thinks. How come things always went to poorly when he tried to talk to you...?

Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his hair, with the sound of his lone footsteps echoing down the now-empty hall. With an air of defeat, he resigned to go to his own room for the night. Maybe he'd have better luck with you tomorrow...

---------

A few days had passed since Iso's failed conversation attempt, and things with you were still as barren as ever. It frustrated him to no end, but there really wasn't much else he could do.

All too soon came the day when you and Iso were sent on a mission together. You seemed as indifferent as ever, whilst Iso saw it as another opportunity to try and win some form of your favor. But god, was he ever trying hard not to come off as overbearing.

The team was ordered to defend B site of Pearl, one of Iso's favorite spots out of all the locations the Protocol would send them; primarily because you were in your element. Staring down B Main with an Operator set up, waiting, watching... It'd be a lie to say that Iso wasn't staring. Your focus and intensity was... fascinating to watch. Iso was positioned at B Screen, meant to watch the side of the pillar that was out of your range. Emphasis on 'meant' to watch... As he was far too busy watching you in action to actually focus.

A bullet from your classic shot past him, jolting him out of his daze as he caught your glare. "Iso, focus. They could be rushing us any second." You scolded. As a result, Iso's face grew a fine shade of red out of embarrassment. You'd definitely just caught him staring, now he was completely thrown off. God. Could this mission get any worse, even though it barely started?

As if on cue, the mirror agents had rushed by the box atop B Ramp. Your heart dropped for a moment as you saw an enemy Chamber quickly set up from behind the box, scope aimed directly for Iso's head. Goddammit.

"Iso!" You shout to him, panic evident in your voice, which was... definitely new. Your tone was usually so monotone, empty, uncaring- but the second you saw your teammate's life in danger-

You were moving before you knew what was happening, abandoning your operator at your position as you ran forward. You'd managed to grab his arm, forcefully yanking him down as a bullet whizzed past, missing Iso by mere milliseconds. Now disoriented, Iso was shaken by his shoulders, meeting your steely gaze.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Aren't you supposed to be some kind of... myth or some shit? Where is your head at?" You hissed at him, causing Iso to swallow the nervous lump suddenly in his throat. Why was he so off his game today? Was it solely the fact he was put on a mission, at the same site as you? Was it--

Bullets began raining through the screen they were ducked behind, relentlessly. That was an Odin in action, easily- the inaccurate bullet holes said that much, since they were shooting from so far away-- though before you could properly assess the situation and form a plan, or even call for backup- you felt a searing pain in your shoulder. A pained hiss escaped from you as you instinctively pushed Iso away. Then another bullet, then another-

Before you could take more hits, you found Iso in front of you, sending his shield forward to stop anymore bullets from reaching you.

Throwing you into his arms, Iso took a running start and slid into B hall, where your operator was, setting you down by a wall. "Sage, I need backup at B site immediately!" Iso shouted into his coms, as he positioned himself at your Operator. His eyes bore into your soul as you felt a strong dizziness overtake you, the sound of the gunfire becoming a ringing in your ears.

"Don't you dare die on me, Y/N."

The last thing you remember is Iso firing your Operator, and the sound of the Odin stopping.

------------

You awaken to the dim lighting of the infirmary, and a soreness throughout your torso. Moving to sit up was painful, forcing you to move slower as you got a feel for your surroundings. Looked to be about 3AM, based on the deafening silence. And the clock on the wall was a helpful indicator as well. Duh.

You rubbed your face, still feeling completely drained and exhausted. Looking down at your torso, you see nothing but a few new scars, presumably from where you'd been shot. A shoulder shot, one to the side, and one just narrowly avoiding your stomach. Any more bullets and you'd look like swiss cheese.

Once your senses were fully awake, you became acutely aware of another presence in the room. Your eyes shot towards where you sensed this presence, expecting to find Sage or maybe even Skye-

"Iso?"

Iso had been sat in a chair nearly, eyes closed resting, with a single earbud playing music into his ear. Usually he'd have both in and completely tune everything out after a mission- something you'd noticed the first few times you'd gone on a mission with him. A little thing to notice, you thought to yourself.

At the sound of your voice, though a tad hoarse from having just woken up, Iso's attention was directed to you immediately. His eyes widened in both surprise and relief, as he tossed his earbuds aside, and slid his chair over to your bedside. "Oh thank god. You've been out for days, I was starting to think Sage lied to me when she said you were stable." His voice was drenched in relief.

"You told me not to die on you. So I didn't. Just following orders." You started, earning a slight glare from your fellow agent, who didn't seem too pleased.

"Uh- no. No more of that." He interrupted you before you could say anything else, holding his hand up, as if to tell you it was his turn to speak. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. "No more of what-?" You prompt slowly, not entirely sure why he seemed so upset. You were fine, weren't you?...

"This... whole thing you do!" Iso gestured vaguely at you, trying to find the proper words to convey his frustration, but it only left you more confused- and a little irritated.

"What are you talking abou-"

"You pretend not to give a shit about anybody, you give everyone the cold shoulder- you make it clear you don't want to associate with any of us. And then, for some reason, you basically throw yourself in front of an Odin to save me? Risked your life for someone who you've only ever pushed aside?" Iso's eyes narrowed at you as he speaks. You feel a strange nervousness twinge in your chest.

"Sage had to resurrect you, Y/N. You literally died for me! I just... don't understand what your deal is!"

You didn't notice until now, but... Iso was holding your hand in both his own. His voice was wavering, but he dared not subject you to anything further than that to show his fear.

You find yourself averting your gaze, noticing there's a single lilac on the table next to your bed.

"I... I apolog-... No. I'm sorry, Iso." You correct yourself, your usually-tense shoulders shifting to a more relaxed position, despite your mild discomfort at being called out like this. Had you really been so cold towards the other agents?

"Listen, I-... Don't exactly have an explanation that'll satisfy you." You admitted softly, causing Iso's gaze to soften in return. Sighing, you continue. "I've always... worked on my own. I never found a need to make connections with the people I happen to work alongside, because I know that... one of us is inevitably gonna leave, or die. It'll cause more grief than anything, getting close to people, only for them to be taken in the blink of an eye. I've been through my fair share of loses... and I'm just sick of how terrible it feels. It's better for me to just get by without getting too attached. Nobody gets hurt that way."

"I don't think you're thinking about this right at all." Iso piped up quietly, though there was an air of understanding laced in his words. "I was a fixer, Y/N. I worked solely on my own, like you. If I crossed the wrong kind of people, anyone I cared about could become weapons to be used against me for blackmail. It was only after joining the Protocol that I started opening up to others. After all, Valorant has promised to protect me from my employers, so any connections I make within Valorant are... safe. This is the only place I feel like I can make friends that won't be used against me, I guess." He wasn't able to keep his cheeks from reddening. Admitting all this was new for him, but... he thought that if he shared his own experience with you, maybe it would provide you the comfort you need to do what he did.

The silence in the room was heavy, and yet... it was oddly comforting to you. You actually had someone who understood where you come from. A small smile found its way onto your face, as you allowed your gaze to meet Iso's.

"I guess despite my best efforts... I ended up caring about someone after all. Some idiot who almost got a bullet to the forehead." You couldn't help but smirk faintly as you flicked Iso's forehead, causing the man to flinch in response. He shot you a slight glare, though no malice could be detected behind his eyes. He let out a sigh, shaking his head slowly.

"You're... never gonna let me live that down, are you, Y/N?"

"Nope."

#valorant x reader #valorant #valorant iso #valorant fanfiction #valorant agents

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