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of-a-chaotic-mind · 11 months

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A Drunk Mind Speaks A Sober Heart Part 2

Summary: Reader and Buck wake up hungover but manage to make it family breakfast with the team and their families. The videos from the previous night are exchanged between the two and everyone is excited that they’re finally together

TW/CW: Evan “Buck” Buckley x Reader, (Y/N) = Your Name, best friends to lovers finally made official, alcohol consumption mentioned, gets kind of spicy toward the end, swtiches POVs so look out for that.

Requested?: No

Word Count: 3,062

A/N: If anyone wants a spicy third part lmk. I’m kinda down to write it lol. Not sure how good it would be tho. Again I say, I’m so proud of this.

Prompts: None

A/N: Absolutely gorgeous he is.

Part 1 Here

(Y/N)’s POV

The sun coming through the curtains wakes me from my slumber but upon opening my eyes, I immediately shut them again because the sun is so much brighter than it should be. I roll over to find a bottle of water, some Asprin, a note, and my phone on charge. I don’t half remember last night to be honest. I know I got shitfaced in Maddie’s livingroom and look around me to find myself in one of her spare bedrooms. I reach over and pick up the note and read it, “Take two and chug. Don’t forget about breakfast at Athena and Bobby’s -Maddie” I do as directed and then check my phone to find a text from Hen that reads, “’A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.’ -Jean-Jaques Rousseau” there’s a video attatched so I make sure my volume is low so that it doesn’t burst my eardrums before opening it. I watch myself confess my feelings for Buck and flop back over to my back groaning once it’s over. I take a few deep breaths before getting up from the bed.

I mentally thank Maddie upon finding my duffle bag and shoes at the foot of the bed. I struggle out of last night’s clothes and into clean ones, yank on my shoes, and venture downstairs in hopes of finding my keys and slipping out without waking Maddie, Chim, or the kiddo. Unfortunately, no such luck as they have already beat me out of bed. I tip toe around the corner into the kitchen only to find Maddie standing at the counter sipping coffee as she lovingly watches Chim play with Jee-Yun. I sigh in defeat as she notices my entry and picks up my keys from the counter beside her, “How’re you feeling?” she asks as she tosses them to me.

“Like I got ran over by a train,” I laugh, “And embarassed,” I blush.

She smiles, knowing exactly what I’m referring to, “It’s alright. We all knew, we were just waiting for you to figure it out,” she winks.

It’s now that oblivious Chimney joins us with his adorable daughter perched on his hip, “Are we ready to head out?” Maddie and I nod so the four of us depart for the Grant-Nash residence. The entire way there I am contemplating just going home to avoid knowing and teasing looks from Maddie, Athena, Hen, and Karen all day but force myself to stay en-route because this has become a long standing tradition. One Sunday a month, the whole fireteam, their significant others, and their children gather at Bobby and Athena’s for a good old fashioned family breakfast. I ponder if I’ll even survive this one as I pull into the drive way and put my car in park but am quickly dragged out of my safety zone by Athena’s waving hand at the front door.

Buck’s POV

I shouldn’t have drank so much last night, I realize as I roll off the couch with a loud thump. From the kitchen, Christopher and Eddie giggle before Eddie cheers, “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Better get your ass up and get some Asprin in you and clean clothes on or we’re gonna be late to family breakfast.” I groan but know he’s right. I swipe my phone off the coffee table before making my way to the kitchen for Asprin and then to the bathroom to change clothes. I have a text from Eddie that reads, “Maybe just show her this since you can’t ever figure out how to tell her yourself,” attatched is a video so I press play to listen as I change clothes. By the time the video ends, I have my hands pressed to the counter and am staring down at my phone in shock. Maybe Eddie’s right. Apparently drunk me has a talent for explaining how I feel that sober me does not.

I grabbed my phone and exit the bathroom to make my out of Eddie’s place, declaring to him on my way out, “Don’t say a word,” feeling his amused look on the back of my neck I feel a blush creep to my cheeks, “Stop it. Don’t give me that look.” Soon, the three of us arrive at the Grant-Nash household and I have to elbow Eddie in the ribs when we see (Y/N) getting out of her car due to the grin on his face.

Third Person POV

The breakfast gets along almost as it always does. Lots of chit chats and laughter. The ladies send teasing looks toward (Y/N) when Eddie asks how their night went but (Y/N) ignores them and they simply say it was quite interesting and elaborate no further. Eddie saw the looks though and makes a mental note to ask Hen or Maddie about it later. Several times Eddie caught Buck glancing or staring at (Y/N) and shot him a teasing grin over Christopher’s head. Buck brushed it off with a glare everytime.

As mentioned, things aren’t quite the same as usual. As is normal, Bobby sits at the head of the table with Athena to his right followed by Harry, May, Karen, Hen, and (Y/N). To his left is Jee-Yun in a high chair followed by Chimney, Maddie, Eddie, Christopher, and Buck. Usually, Buck would playfully kick at (Y/N) under the table and she’d snatch food off his plate, mostly his fruit. They would get carried away in their own conversation and their fits of giggles and laughter would ring out over the other conversations happening but when anyone would look their way to question what is so funny they’d be too distracted to give an answer. Everyone always got a kick out of their playful behavior. However, today there was no playful kicks under the table or food snatched off of plates. The two couldn’t even look each other in the eye, too embarassed by their confessions last night that the other had no idea about. Although they did sneak glances toward each other when the other wasn’t looking. When Christopher has Buck’s attention or Buck is arguing about how a call went with Chimney over three heads, (Y/N) watches him out of the corner of her eye but pretends to be focused on something else or collects a bite of food if he happens to look anywhere near her direction. When (Y/N) is watching Jee-Yun giggle as her father makes airplane noises circling a small bite of pancake toward her mouth or listening in on the conversation between Hen, Karen, and May, Buck admires her subtly over the rim of his coffee cup but as soon as (Y/N) returns her gaze to her plate or someone near him he too distracts himself with something else. This odd behavior did not go unnoticed by the other adults at the table or even Christopher who would normally be too busy giggling at the pair’s antics to eat.

The young boy also happens to be the first and only one to call the two out on the peculuarity of it all, “Buck? Why are you not kicking (Y/N)? And you haven’t stole any of his fruit,” he adds looking to her.

The adults all grin as Harry also chimes in, “Yeah you guys have been quiet.”

May nudges her brother and shakes her head as their mother speaks up, “I think they just don’t feel too good today. Maybe they didn’t get enough sleep.” Christopher and Harry exchange a look that says they don’t believe that one bit but a different conversation is picked up by the adults to shift the attention off of the two.

(Y/N) risks a glance at Buck, wondering what his reaction is but he had also taken the same risk. The two lock eyes but quickly look away. In attempts to escape the situation and catch the breath that had been stolen by looking into his bright blue eyes (Y/N) excuses herself from the table saying her still bruised ribs are bothering her and she needs to stretch.

Once safely in a bathroom, (Y/N) stares at herself in the mirror trying to decipher what it was that she saw in his eyes. Buck always has shown exactly how he feels through his eyes but today she can’t quite make out what exactly that is. She sighs heavily just as someone knocks on the door.

Out in the dinning room, Buck has excused himself as well giving no particular reason but the adults need not ask because they know exactly why. As soon as Buck is out of earshot, Eddie leans forward to look at all the ladies in turn before asking, “What exactly happened last night?” The women all look at each other seeming to silently debate about spilling the beans.

Chimney and Bobby look at each other as well before Bobby adds, “I would like to know as well but you seem to have something to share too.”

May giggles, “It’s like a Mexican stand off of exciting stories.”

Chimney retrives a coin from his pocket, “Heads, Eddie is up first. Tails, one of you ladies are gonna have to spill.”

Everyone nods as Maddie looks down the hall, “Might want to be quick and quiet about it.”

Chimney flips the coin and it comes up tails so Maddie wiggles in her seat and props her elbows up on the table, placing her fingers together. She takes a dramatic pause despite her warning to hurry up before explaining, “(Y/N) got plastered last night and we now have video proof as confirmation that she has feelings for Buck.”

“I knew it!,” May whispers excitedly.

Eddie lightly smacks Maddie on the arm, “You’re telling me they both confessed on the same night to separate people but have no idea?” Everyone looks to Eddie in shock, “Yeah, he had a few drinks last night and apparently drunk Buck has an easier time with putting his feelings into words. I got it on video”

Hen laughs, “A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.”

Everyone excitedly yet still remaining quiet cheers before Bobby settles them down, “Those videos stay with those who took them and we don’t mention this around them. Understood?” Everyone nods except Eddie and Hen who give Bobby a guilty look. He responds to their looks with one of suspicion, “What did you two do?” In unison the two videographers confess that they sent their video to the corresponding subject.

Hen adds, “I figured if she had the video she could just show it to him when she’s ready.”

Eddie nods in agreement, “I literally told him it might be an easier way of telling her if he can’t find the words while sober.”

Bobby grins and shakes his head as Athena chimes in, “We’ll see. For now, let’s talk about something else so they’re not suspicious of us when they come back.”

Back in the bathroom, (Y/N) responds to the knock at the door, “Who is it?”

“It- it’s me,” comes Buck’s voice from the other side.

(Y/N) takes a deep breath before unlocking and opening the door to let him in. She hops up to take a seat on the counter as he enters and closes the door behind him. They both stare at their hands, nervously fidgeting with anything they can until they both speak at the same time, “I’m sorry, I’m just-” They stop, staring at each other with red all over their cheeks.

Normally, Buck would be a gentleman and let her go first but he just had to get this off his chest before he chickened out, “So, I got drunk last night. You know that saying drunk words are sober thoughts?” (Y/N) nods thinking back to the text Hen had sent with the video just this morning. Buck continues, “Well, Eddie caught my drunk words on video last night and... well,” he pulls his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it and navigates to the video Eddie had sent before handing it to her, “Just watch it. Sober me 100% agrees with every word.” He looks at her with such scencerity on his face that it makes her heart skip a beat. The two sit in silence as she watches the video. Buck shifts nervously on his feet, scanning her face for her reaction and she smiles. His heart soars with hope that she feels the same way.

When the video ends, she hands his phone back to him before retrieving her own from her back pocket, unlocking it, navigating to her own video and then, “Drunk words are indeed sober thoughts and drunk me is pretty damn good at sharing things that sober me can’t. I too agree with every word she said,” she says, handing her phone to him. He watches with a massive grin on his face as one plasters itself on her’s as well. There’s not an ounce of fear or nervousness left in her after having seen his video. She thinks to herself that if she has the honor of marrying the man in front of her one day, it’s only right that Eddie be his Best Man and Hen be her Maid of Honor.

Once the video ends, Buck places her phone on the counter beside her and leans in close with a grin still on his face only now it has a slight hint of cockiness to it, “I guess the only thing to do now is ask you to be my girlfriend. So will you?”

As he hooks his finger under her chin and lifts it to align their lips, the distance between them shrinks even more. He can feel her breath on his lips when she affirms, “Obviously,” so he glances down at her lips before looking into her eyes. She inches closer, encouraging him to close the distance, and he does. They share the same thought as the slow, love filled kiss takes place and that is, “I love you.” When they begrudingly pull apart, and make eye contact, there’s no need to voice the thought as for one, their drunk selves already did but also, it’s seen in their eyes.

Buck pulls even further away before placing his hands on her hips. He leaves them there for a moment, observing her reaction and somewhat looking for a nudge to continue his movements. She tilts her head, “What?”

He says nothing at first, simply sliding his hands from her hips to place them on either side of the mirror on the wall behind her caging her in. He leans in close and brushes his nose against her’s, making her eyes flutter shut. When she opens them he’s just barely retreated, tilted his head, and is grinning from ear to ear. Feigning forgetfulness he asks, “What was that you said you wanted to do? It was something to do with my arms. Maybe you could remind me?”

A mishevious grin with a hint of shyness to it replaces the look of curiosity on her face but is quickly replaced with a false sense of innocence as she lays her head over on his right arm. She stays there for a moment reveling in the eye contact between his now sultry eyes and her own wide eyed innocent ones before turning her head slightly to nuzzle her mouth and nose against his arm. A breath catches in Buck’s throat as she suddenly opens her mouth to lay her tongue against his bicep, slowly dragging it up before recoiling it back behind her teeth that she uses to nip softly against the skin covering the toned muscle. The sound that left his throat is one that she will remember for years to come and want to elicit from him again many times over. However, she simply lays her head back against his arm with a teasing look on her face, “We should get back out there before they come looking and find us in a scandalous situation.”

Buck huffs, knowing she’s right and stands up straight removing his hands from the wall to help her down from the counter. (Y/N) quite likes it when he lifts her by her waist to place her feet on the ground and has to stop herself from wondering what it would be like for him to toss her into bed as he takes her hand in his. He doesn’t exit the bathroom just yet but instead tugs her close, hooks his finger under her chin once more to whisper against her lips, “Fine, but you’re sitting in my lap to cover the situation you’ve caused in my pants.” She giggles and nods before opening the door herself and tugging him along behind her.

All eyes are on the two love birds as they reenter the dining room causing blushes to creep onto both of their faces and Buck to discretely scoot just a little closer behind her in hopes of hiding the afforemention situation better. He takes his seat, promptly pulling her into his lap which makes everyone whoop and holler in excitement. Eddie passes Maddie a twenty dollar bill which provokes a confused look from both (Y/N) and Buck.

Maddie grins triumphantly, “I bet that the videos would be exchanged today. Eddie didn’t think you guys had it in you.”

Eddie rolls his eyes as Athena calms everyone down, “You two didn’t... in the bathroom did you,” raising her eyebrows to insinuate naughtier acts than just exchanging videos. (Y/N) and Buck shake their head no immediately to which Athena replies, “Good.”

The conversation soon returns to things other than the new couple at the end of the table. (Y/N) has an arm around Buck’s shoulders playing with his hair while his arm is wrapped firmly around her waist. His other hand is placed on her knee, even though he wants it to be higher, and he leans in to whisper in her ear, “You’ll have something in you if we can ever sneak away. I just didn’t bend you over in there out of respect.” (Y/N) slaps his chest with her free hand but Buck simply returns his attention to the group around the table and includes himself in the conversation. Under her, (Y/N) can still feel the situation and knows he’s not joking. She has to fight to keep from imaging what all they could get up to today.

Masterlist

More Evan Buckley Imagines

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gaybananabread · 11 months

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This is later than I wanted to get this out, but it's here. For those who don't know, this is Part 2 of a little thing I did. I'll link Part 1 below. Sorry for the wait, Enjoy!

(Part 1)

Lee: Kirishima

Lers: Todoroki, Ojiro, Midoriya, brief Bakugo

Summary: The battle for chore duty nears a conclusion, as Kiri's turn has come. Can he beat Bakugo's time? We'll see.

Warnings: none! It does get a bit intense, but it's all in good fun and consensual. This is a tickle fic, so if you don't like that, scroll away!

"Your turn, Shitty Hair."

Bakugo's words sent shivers down his spine. He resisted the urge to yelp as he approached the chair. This was it, his moment to beat Bakugo at something. He hoped so, anyway.

The blonde slowly rose, giving Kirishima an evil, smug look. Bakugo had survived his turn, and now it was time for Kiri to face his tormentors. He just hoped they didn't kill him.

He warily sat down in the chair, looking up at his friends. Each of them had tickled him before, and no doubt had insider knowledge. Looking in their eyes, he noticed the same mischievous glint in all three pairs.

Well, I'm dead.

Midoriya started explaining the rules. "Okay, same rules from before apply to you. We won't stop until you say 'Plus Ultra', so don't worry if a few protests slip out." He smirked, knowing that would happen. "You need at least 7 minutes and 30 seconds to beat Bakugo. Try and keep flailing to a minimum, we don't want another incident."

The red head's cheeks flushed, and he threw his hands up. "Oh, come on man! It was one time!" Deku chuckled and turned to the other two 'judges'. "Okay, who wants where?"

Ojiro raised his hand. "I'm fine with where I was last time." The greenete nods. "Okay, I'll take his lower body. Todoroki, you fine with his midsection?" He nodded, and they went to their designated places.

Bakugo watched them curiously. They hadn't been so smug or decisive when it was his turn. Then again, they knew he would kill them if they tried anything. Anything underhanded or shifty they pulled then only benefited him. Still, he would keep an eye on them.

Kiri was trying to to squirm in the chair. They all knew about his worst spots, and he could tell they were about to abuse that knowledge. Seven minutes is a long time, a lot longer than he can probably last. But he's gonna try, and win. Hopefully.

Ojiro gathered the red head's arms and held them over his head. Midoriya grabbed the stopwatch, resetting it. He gave the countdown, and the four of them prepared.

"3, 2, 1..."

"Go!"

The three of them started out slow and soft, testing the waters. Ojiro fluttered his fingers on Kirishima's neck, his tail inactive for the moment. Todoroki made little circles with a finger on his belly, right in the center. Midoriya lightly poked at his knees and thighs.

Kiri didn't try to hold in his reactions. He would laugh eventually, and resisting took energy he didn't wanna waste. Bubbly giggles poured from his mouth, getting a huff from Baku.

"Already? You're done for, Shitty Hair." He had a smirk on his face, his voice smug and gloating. Kiri's cheeks went pink, and he stuck his tongue out. Bakugo, ever the charmer, flipped him off with a sly grin.

Todoroki decided it was time to get real. Ten fingers dug into the red head's belly, scribbling and poking the sensitive flesh. Surprised, Kiri squeaked before bursting into loud, boyish laughter. "TOHODOROKIHI! NOHOHO!"

The others followed suit, digging into his 'sweet spots'. Ojiro brought his tail up to brush against Kiri's neck, and Deku dug into his thighs, slipping little squeezes to his knees. This time, they knew exactly where to go to drive him up the wall. They also knew how to make it a million times worse. Because why not?

Midoriya was the first to tease. "Aw, Kirishima! I forgot how ticklish your thighs are! Your laugh is so cute!" The little shit knew exactly what he was doing. And it was working.

Kiri snorted, bucking his hips. Teasing always made things 100 times worse! His cheeks heated up even more, now a lovely scarlet red. His laughter grew, filling the room.

Todoroki kneaded the small amount of pudge on his waistline, driving the red head up the wall. Midoriya continued to tease him, relishing in the snorts that split his laugh.

"GUHUHUYS! *snort* QUIHIHIHIT IT!" He was starting to reach his limit. With one assailant, he could definitely beat eight minutes. But three? That was a lot harder than he thought.

He managed to ask a coherent question. "WHAHAHAT'S MY TIHIHIME?" He tried to twist his head to see, but Ojiro attacked his neck whenever he exposed it. The tailed student leaned in, smirking. "Oh, is this too much for you? Afraid you're gonna lose?"

He snorted, his face nearly matching the color of his hair. It was really hard to not headbutt him. Kiri seriously considered it, but figured it would only make things worse. "JUHUHUST- *snort* JUHUST TEHELL MEHEHEHE!"

Midoriya eventually cut in, chuckling. "You're at five minutes and forty seconds." That was not good for him. He didn't think he could last much longer at the current pace. He made a rash decision, one he would most likely regret. Under his shirt, he hardened his chest, stopping the tickling. Technically not quitting.

Todoroki grunted and stopped, feeling the other's quirk activate. He shot Kiri a stare that could shatter souls. "Kirishima. Unharden, now."

His laughter had calmed down a bit, but the other two were still tickling him. He could only focus enough for his midsection to stay hardened, and even that was a challenge. He closed his eyes, wistfully hoping that Todoroki would eventually get bored and leave.

Witnessing all this, Bakugo stormed over, pushing his multicolored classmate out of the way. He gave the blonde a look, but huffed and let him take over. "If he hardens, you gotta distract him. Watch and learn, half-and-half."

Cracking his knuckles, Bakugo drilled his fingers into Kiri's hips. Caught off guard, Kiri squealed before bursting into deep, side-splitting laughter. His quirk faltered, the skin on his chest shifting from hardened to normal. He was failing, the intense tickling making it harder and harder to concentrate.

Ojiro laughed, using both hands to keep Kiri's arms above his head. He thrashed and tugged, but Ojiro kept him right where they wanted him. Now his tail was the only thing tickling the boy's neck. It was still doing a marvelous job at distracting him.

He lost it when Midoriya removed his boots and started to tickle his feet. Now that his friend had broken, Bakugo stepped back and let Todoroki take over. He went right back to what Baku was doing, now using his own quirk to make half his fingers colder. He had heard it made things tickle more, and it turns out he was right. The poor boy's laughter somehow went up an octave, surprising both himself and everyone within a five mile radius.

Midoriya was scribbling across his soles, having gathered both feet into his hands. He had left his socks on, because he didn't want to kill him. Mostly. They were adorable, though. The little shark patterns made him smile.

Kirishima was losing his ever-loving mind. His entire face was a dark crimson, his eyes wet with tears of mirth. He was thrashing madly, trying anything to lesson the assult on his senses. The only thought running through his head was SHIT IT TICKLES IT TICKLES IT TICKLES!!

Bakugo watched the scene with a smug smile on his face. Knowing he had helped cause this made it even better. He was close to not caring about the win. This was victory enough. Well, almost. He still had pride and a winning reputation to uphold.

Finally, after what felt like ages, he tapped out. "PLUHUHAHA- PLUHUHUS UHUHULTRAHAHA!" The maddening sensations stopped, and his arms were released. Kiri immediately curled in on himself, hugging his sides and giggling like a lunatic as he sucked in air.

Midoriya laughed and stopped the timer. "Okay your time is-" He froze mid-scentence, taking a quick breath. He gingerly set the phone down, an unreadable smile on his face, his eyes blank. He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. A loud band of a head on a wall could be heard from the hallway.

Ojiro walked over. "What was that for?" He picked up the phone and a strangled gasp escaped him. "What's wro-" Todoroki started to speak before the phone was turned around, showing him the final time.

7 minutes, 26 seconds

Ice formed around his foot. He took a deep breath, melting it and turning to the two idiots. "You both have dish duty. Respectfully, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you guys?" Then he left with Ojiro, the both of them silently pondering their existences.

Bakugo's jaw dropped, his arrogant facade falling. "WHAT THE HELL?! SHITTY HAIR, ARE YOU KIDDING?!" He whipped around to Kirishima, who was still struggling to regain his breath.

"Ihihi'm... I'm sohohory!" He looked up, a dopey smile splitting his rosy face. Tears still shone in the corners of his eyes. Seeing this could melt even the coldest of hearts. Bakugo's vicous demeanor lessened, simmering down to a glare and clenched fist. "You are such a fucking copy cat."

The giggly boy took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Wehell, ahat least wehehehe can see who's aha better dish wahasher!" Optimistic to the bitter end, that one.

Bakugo huffed, ruffling Kirishima's hair. What a fucking day...

#mha tickle #lee!kirishima #ler!midoriya #ler!ojiro #ler!todoroki #ler!bakugou #sfw tickle community #tickle fic #tickle #my hero academia tickle #ticklish!kirishima #mha kirishima #mha bakugo #mha ojiro #mha todoroki #mha midoriya #mha deku #mha #my hero acedamia

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rainbow-nerdss · 8 months

Text

Beacon

Written for @augustwritingchallenge day 26: Lighthouse Buddie, 1.6k Read on AO3

The life of a lighthouse keeper was a lonely one — that’s what Buck assumed, anyway, based on movies, on books, on everything he’d heard about them before. It was an isolated tower, in the middle of the ocean, the only connection to civilization being the boat which delivered supplies every couple of months.

It sounded nice, when everyone who he’d even allowed into his life left bruises on the soft parts of his heart, and they ached.

He dreamed of living in a lighthouse, a quiet life of tending the lantern, keeping the beacon alight, sending out a message of safety, of hope for those who sailed on the dark, treacherous waters. It couldn’t all be easy, of course. He knew that. He knew days would come when a storm would hit, or snows came, and he would have to fight to keep the light shining, or sound an alarm to compensate for poor visibility, or when he would have to take his own little boat out and help people who hadn’t seen his light in time, or who hadn’t been able to fight the waves.

He’d celebrate the wins, and mourn the losses, but he’d be doing something worthwhile, and protecting his own fragile heart in the process.

He should have known that wouldn’t be all there was to it. If he’d thought for more than a minute, he’d have known that nobody could operate a lighthouse on their own — it needed someone twenty four hours a day, and he’d have to sleep at some point.

Buck arrived at the lighthouse and started the long process of settling into the little cottage at the base of the tower, watching and paying about as careful attention as he could to Bobby, the outgoing keeper, as he showed Buck the ropes. He had no idea there was another new keeper until the boat arrived, and Eddie Diaz got off.

“Buck, this is Eddie, he’ll be your partner. Eddie, this is Evan Buckley.”

They got off to a rocky start, to say the least. Buck got along just fine with Bobby, because he was there to teach Buck how to survive out there, but Eddie? He was an interloper, an intrusion into the life Buck had envisioned for himself out here.

Buck ate his meals alone, and avoided any and all conversation which wasn’t strictly necessary to the operation of the lighthouse. Eddie tried to engage a handful of times, but he grew tired of Buck’s cold shoulder soon enough.

A picture of Eddie with a young boy hung on the mantel, and Buck resisted the urge to ask about him, to ask why Eddie was here, and not with him.

And then the storm came, and it was so much worse than Buck had imagined. The two of them had to work together, keeping the light shining, sounding the siren. The wind howled loud enough that Buck couldn’t hear his own voice shout out. All he could see was rain and waves and water crashing against the rocks, and he was tired to his bones by the time the sea calmed again.

All the while, though, Eddie was there. Eddie, who didn’t need to hear his hoarse shouts to know what he needed, and Buck was surprised to learn he knew what Eddie needed without needing to hear him, either. They had each other’s backs without needing to ask.

The next morning, soaked to the skin and exhausted, the two of them sat together, looking at the calm waters which were almost mocking in their serenity.

Buck nudged Eddie’s shoulder with his own. “Nicely done, Diaz.”

Eddie smiled at him, and just like that, the tension was broken.

The first shipment of supplies brought with it a packet full of letters from Eddie’s son, Christopher — some in his shaky, childish handwriting, others in a loose, flowing cursive. Eddie handed back a similar pack of his own letters, and frowned when Buck had none.

Eddie showed Buck Christopher’s letters, and spoke about him with a pride Buck couldn’t even begin to imagine.

“Why are you here, then? And not with them?” Buck regretted the question immediately, but Eddie gave him a tight smile.

“It’s… complicated. I wasn’t good at being a husband, and I wasn’t good for Chris, either.”

“I don’t believe that,” Buck said simply. The Eddie he knew was everything someone could ask for.

In return, Buck told Eddie about his family, the parents who never cared, the sister who left.

And they grew closer. Buck took charge of their rations, since Eddie proved hopeless in the kitchen. Eddie, in turn, washed up after him, and they ate together every evening. They lived, worked and spent their time side-by-side, and Buck never once grew tired of Eddie’s presence.

Months passed, and the next shipment brought visitors — Bobby coming to check in on them, and…

“Chris!” Eddie practically fell down the steps when he caught sight of the boy leaning against the railings on the boat’s deck.

Buck stayed where he was in the tower, watching out the window as Eddie ran out the front door and met his son on the little dock, pulling him into an embrace. Buck sniffed. The way Eddie loved that kid… there was no way he’d stay away from him much longer.

Briefly, Buck entertained the thought of Christopher joining them here. He could take the smaller of the two bedrooms in the cottage, and they could show him the ropes, the three of them carving out a life for each other. He cast the idea aside, knowing if he let himself indulge in those thoughts, it would be so much harder to see him say goodbye.

Christopher was an amazing kid, though. When Eddie finally called Buck down to say hello, he introduced them and Chris spared no time in hugging him tight. “Dad’s told me all about you in his letters!”

Buck almost cried, after Eddie led the kid to the cottage so they could share a meal before the boat had to go.

While Eddie gave his report to Bobby, Buck gave Chris a piggy-back up the spiral staircase to the lantern, and showed him how they trimmed the wicks, let him carefully polish the piece of the lens he could reach, then helped him count the boats he could see on the horizon. That’s where Eddie found them, an hour later, Buck’s arm wrapped protectively around Christopher’s middle in case he slipped.

“Boat’s leaving soon,” Eddie said. “You ready to come back down?”

Christopher cried and yelled when Bobby brought him back onto the boat, and Buck tried not to let it break his heart as he saw Eddie try and fail to hold his composure, as he fell to the ground as soon as the boat was out of sight.

Buck crouched next to him, letting him fall into his arms, holding him through it until he was able to make his way back inside. Buck made him a cup of tea, but Eddie pushed it away. “I’m going to take the first watch,” he said in a hollow voice, walking to the stairs and leaving Buck on his own.

When Buck relieved him of duty later in the night, he lingered on top of the tower, but neither of them spoke.

Months passed, and they didn’t talk about it. They didn’t acknowledge the pain in Eddie’s voice as more boats came and went with letters but no visitors.

Finally, Buck couldn’t take it any longer. He wanted to cauterise the wound, get the loss over and done with.

“You’re not staying, are you?” he asked one evening, when the two of them were sitting in the cottage, Eddie re-reading another of Christopher’s letters.

Eddie looked up, frowning in confusion. “What?”

“You miss him, Eddie. Don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking of going home.”

Eddie set down the letter and stood, walking over to where Buck was and sitting next to him. “Buck, I’m… I do miss him. And I hate being away from him, but… You have to know, this is home. Here, this cottage, with you.”

“Then, what—”

“I’ve written to Bobby. Next month’s mail, he’s going to let me know whether it’ll be possible for Chris to move here. There’d need to be more frequent ships, ways of getting him to and from school, but… I was waiting to hear for sure before I asked you. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

That image, from all those months ago, the one Buck had forcibly suppressed for so long, comes back in full force. Christopher here, the three of them sharing the cottage, waking up early on Eddie’s days to man the lamp and making pancakes for himself and Chris, coming back after a long, stormy night to the two of them, cosying up by a roaring fire. Quiet days where nothing much needs to be done, sitting like this, playing games, living a life.

“Buck, say something, please? Would you be… okay with that?”

And Buck… he didn’t think, didn’t pause to wonder if it was a horrible idea, just took Eddie’s face in his hands and kissed him.

A year on, and Buck was happy. Bobby may have been retired, but he’d agreed to make more regular trips out, escorting Chris to school on the mainland when Buck and Eddie couldn’t. Buck moved into Eddie’s bedroom, and his own was redecorated for Chris to live in. Letters were replaced by excited retellings of his days in his new school, drawings pinned to the walls and the fridge, and he even got a letter from Maddie.

It was hard, sometimes. When a particularly bad storm hit, and Buck and Eddie were both needed to keep things running in the tower, worry for Chris carrying them through to the break of the storm, when they could go home together.

It was a life — a happy one. And Buck loved every moment of it.

#my fic #au gust 2023 #au gust fills #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic

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the-likesofus · 2 years

Note

Bad Things Happen Bingo for Buddie: Common Cold (sick!Eddie/caretaker!Buck please?!)

if i need to rearrange my particles i will for you

Buddie | 9-1-1 on Fox

Bad Things Happen Bingo: Common Cold

bthb master post | 7864 words | sick fic, fluff, cuddling, sharing a bed, love confessions, getting together, sick!Eddie Diaz, caretaker!Evan Buckley

Eddie knows he's not immortal or immune to the ales of man but sometimes he likes to think he is. He has no food allergies, he doesn’t get hayfever, hell, he's been shot on more than one occasion and survived, and for that, he thinks he's allowed to feel somewhat invincible.

Eddie catches a cold and Buck takes care of him while having a minor, non-platonic emotional crisis.

@badthingshappenbingo | Read on AO3

Hi Anon! I am so sorry this took me so long to finish. I literally started writing it the day you sent the ask but somehow it went from a 2k one-shot to this 7k+ monstrosity. I hope it is what you were hoping for. Thank you so much for requesting it <3

It's wishful thinking though because he has a child who attends school with other children and such places are known to be a petri dish of bacteria. For this reason, it had been a surprise to no one when Christopher came home with a cold last week. Grateful for small graces though, Chris had only been off school for two days with a tickly throat and a runny nose. All things considered, it could have been much worse.

'Much worse' hits Eddie like a truck as soon as he wakes up. Every bone in his body aches and his eyes feel immensely heavy despite getting a rare eight hours of sleep the night before.

"Dad! Are you up yet?" Christopher's voice carries shrill and clear through Eddie's bedroom door and God he loves his kid but he loves his sleep almost as much and right now all he wants to do is roll over and close his eyes again.

With a heavy groan, Eddie pulls himself out of bed and puts on his best Good morning face as he opens his bedroom door to greet his son.

"You don't look so good," Christopher states bluntly as he looks up at Eddie with those wide expressive eyes. Sometimes he wishes that his son wasn't quite so perceptive.

He ruffles the boy's hair as he shuffles past him to the bathroom. "Yeah? Well, you have drool on your face."

"No, I don't!" Christopher shouts indignity and Eddie grins despite the stabbing pain behind his eyes.

Carla will be arriving in half an hour to take Chris to school and Eddie is still debating whether or not he should be calling in sick to work. He is scheduled for a twenty-four today and right now he is banking on the magical healing properties of coffee to make this groggy feeling go away.

"Go get your school clothes on Little Man, breakfast will be ready in a minute."

"By breakfast you mean cereal." Eddie turns his head over his shoulder just in time to see Chris frown at the prospect of another round of Captain Crunch . Then he grins up at Eddie in that cheeky way that lets Eddie know that he's got something to say that Eddie won't agree with. "I wish Buck lived with us, then we could have pancakes for every breakfast!"

Me too, Kid. But that is an entirely different kind of wishful thinking and Eddie very quickly shuts down that train of thought.

"Well, we don't have time for pancakes this morning anyway, because you are still in your pajamas. Come on!" He makes a shooing motion toward Christopher's bedroom and his son disappears down the hallway with a giggle.

As soon as Christopher is out of sight Eddie makes a beeline for the kitchen and starts a pot of coffee. He sinks back against the counter while he waits for it to brew and holds his head between his hands, rubbing at his temples as if to ward away the impending headache. All he needs is a couple of aspirin and a cup of coffee. Maybe two cups of coffee.

He has Christopher's cereal waiting on the table for him and is halfway through his first mug of life-saving caffeine when Carla knocks on the front door and he goes to let her in.

"Good morning Ed- oh dear, you do not look well." Her expression shifts from its usual open greeting to wide-eyed concern. Eddie can't help but let out a depreciating chuckle.

"Good morning to you too." He opens the door wider to let her into the house as she continues to direct judgment on the state of his health.

"Eddie, honey, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, of course. Just a headache, I probably just didn't drink enough water yesterday." He brushes her off absently and is about to head back to the dining room where he can hear Chris shuffling about but he is quickly brought to a standstill by Carla pressing the back of her hand against his forehead and humming apprehensively.

"You're a bit warm." She frowns at him again. "You're working today?"

"Yeah, I'll be leaving just behind you." Still trying to shake off the shock of Carla's hand making contact with his clammy skin. The last time someone took his temperature like that, with that level of care and attention, was probably his Abeula and Eddie was probably all of fourteen. The frown on Carla's face deepens and Eddie knows he's in for a fight.

"You should stay home, Honey."

"I'm fine Carla, honestly." He turns to walk back into the house and as if the world turns against him in an instant, his vision blurs and he's suddenly very dizzy. He thrusts out a hand to right himself against the wall and manages to catch himself before he stumbles. It's too late though, Carla lets out a self-satisfied laugh from behind him.

"Okay, no you are not going anywhere." She carefully plucks his coffee mug from the hand that isn't still pressed against the wall and he barely suppresses a whine. "Go sit down Eddie, and call Bobby. You can't go to work like this."

"But-"

"Go." And she makes the same shooing motion that he made at Christopher not even half an hour ago. It does not feel so good to be on the receiving end.

Reluctantly, Eddie shuffles into the living room and sinks down on the couch. For a moment he stares blankly down at his phone in his hands. Maybe if he holds it off long enough he can convince Carla that he'll make the call after she leaves and then he can still sneak out to work, she wouldn't know.

She would know.

Bobby picks up after the third ring.

"Morning Eddie, everything alright? Is Christopher okay?" Once again Eddie is reminded of how grateful he is for the people he has surrounded himself with since moving to LA.

"Yes, no, Chris is good, he's great. I'm not going to be able to come in today though. Or more, Carla won't let me go." He leans forward on his knees, resting his forehead in one hand as he holds his phone to his ear with the other. His head still feels like it’s spinning.

"Oh? Are you okay?" Bobby's voice is filled with concern in an instant.

"Yeah, just a headache and a bit dizzy. I've probably caught Chris's cold. I'm sure it’ll clear up by tomorrow."

"Okay, well you take today and see how you get on, let me know if you need a few more days okay? You take care of yourself, Eddie."

"Thanks, Cap." Eddie smiles softly. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, Bye Eddie. Let us know if you need anything."

"Will do. Bye, Bobby. Thanks."

Bobby hangs up and Eddie doesn't move straight away, letting his phone fall onto his lap as he rests the palms of his hands against his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. If he's not going to work then he might as well take Chris to school himself, and let Carla have her day to herself.

He's just about to force himself off the couch when Christopher comes into the room with Carla in tow.

"Don't you even think about moving." She warns and Chris sinks into the couch beside him, gently wrapping his arms around Eddie's middle.

"Are you sick?" He has got those big eyes again, the ones the size of dinner plates that turn Eddie’s heart to mush. "Did I make you sick?"

"No, Buddy, of course not. I'm okay." Eddie promises, he tucks Chris further into his side and presses a kiss to his soft curls. "I will be okay. I just need some more sleep. But first, we need to get you to school."

Again he tries to stand up only to find Carla's hand pressing heavily on his shoulder as she all but forces him back into the seat and puts a new mug on the coffee table in front of him. The contents certainly doesn’t smell like coffee and he knows that she catches the way his nose wrinkles against his will.

"It's herbal tea. It won't kill you, in fact, it will make you feel better. And don't you worry about Christopher, I will get him to school. We've got this haven't we, Sunshine?" And Chris grins up at her.

"Yup! You stay here and get better Dad."

"Okay, Buddy." Eddie relents, there's no way he's winning this one and honestly, he's running out of willpower to fight anyway. The heavy feeling is returning to his limbs and he's starting to become concerned by the fact that there are apparently two Carlas standing in front of him where a moment ago there had only been one.

He gives his head a light shake to try and clear his vision though it has little effect. He kisses the crown of Christopher's head again and gives him a tight squeeze before letting him up off the couch.

"Have a good day, Kiddo."

"Bye Dad, love you."

"I love you too, I'll see you when you get home," Eddie replies, his chest filled with warmth and love for his perfect boy.

"Okay, bye!" And then Chris is gone from the room and grabbing his school bag from the hook by the front door.

Carla remains for a moment, watching Eddie carefully. "You behave yourself alright. Look after yourself. Have you talked to Buck?"

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Buck's working, I'll call him later, maybe. I'm sure Bobby will tell the rest of the crew that I won't be in anyway."

Carla frowns but shakes her head.

"Okay, well I need to get your boy on his way. Call if you need anything okay." She turns a soft look onto him and he relents.

"I will, thank you." And she smiles softly and squeezes his shoulders as she leaves.

"Of course Eddie, any time."

She glances around the room quickly to make sure Christopher hasn't forgotten anything before she too leaves the room.

"Drink your tea!" She throws over her shoulder just before she closes the door behind her and Eddie sinks back into the couch with a hollow groan.

_____

Eddie's truck isn't in the car park when Buck pulls up to work and already he can tell that today is going to suck. He tries not to panic though, maybe Eddie is just running late.

With a pit in his stomach, Buck grabs his duffle bag from the passenger seat, locks the jeep behind him, and traipses into the firehouse and up the stairs to the loft. Chimney and Hen are both already there, peering at something on Chimney's phone at one end of the table, and Bobby is in the kitchen prepping breakfast. There is still no sign of Eddie.

Bobby looks up as Buck comes into the kitchen and he straightens and raps his knuckles on the benchtop, getting the attention of both Hen and Chimney.

"Eddie called in sick this morning," He announces. "So, we're a man down today, at least until lunchtime. One of the guys from B-shift will be in to cover at midday but until then it's just us."

Buck’s stomach drops. That is considerably worse than being stuck in traffic or running late.

"What? Is- is he okay?"

"He said he's fine, he thinks he might have caught Christopher's cold," Bobby assures him but then he must see the stricken look on Buck's face before he's able to hide it and he sighs and pats Buck on the shoulder as he leaves the kitchen. "He's fine Buck, I'm sure he'll be back in a day or so."

Buck frowns but nods his head as he dishes himself some breakfast and takes his plate to the table. He pulls his phone out under the table and quickly fires a text to Eddie.

TO: EDDIE CELL

hey you good?

do you need me to pick you up anything after shift?

He leaves his phone face up on the table as he picks up his fork and shoves a bit of hash brown into his mouth, watching the screen closely for Eddie's reply. A reply that still hasn't arrived when Buck finishes his breakfast. He’s just about to call Eddie when the alarm goes off, the shrill ringing echoing throughout the building.

_____

For once Buck is grateful he was only rostered on for a twelve-hour shift today. Eddie was supposed to be on for a twenty-four so Christopher should be at Tia Pepa's tonight, Carla would have dropped him there after school.

After not being able to get through to Eddie all day, Buck had called Carla during a brief moment of downtime and she had assured him that she had gotten Christopher to school and would still pick him up at the end of the day. When he asked about Eddie she had said that he seemed okay that morning if very tired and groggy.

As soon as his shift ends and he's waved goodbye to the others Buck is grabbing his duffle and making a beeline for his Jeep.

He still hasn't heard from Eddie and it is becoming a cause for concern. Eddie is notorious for having his phone glued into his back pocket in case anything happens to Christopher and someone tries to contact him. Considering the number of texts Buck has sent him throughout the day to check on him, all of which have gone unanswered, Buck is more than a little perturbed.

On his way to Eddie's house, he swings past the pharmacy, buys a bunch of random things off the shelf marked Cold & Flu, and gets an astonished look from the cashier as he the piles of boxes and bottles onto the counter. He knows it's probably overkill, but he doesn't know what he is going to be walking into and he wants to be prepared.

He lets himself in when he gets to Eddie's house, leaving his Jeep parked in the driveway.

The house is quiet. The first sign that something is wrong. Eddie isn’t exactly the sort to sleep the day away. Usually, he takes any time he has with the house to himself to catch up on chores. More than once Buck has been roped into loads of laundry or deep cleaning the bathroom. Admittedly Buck did all of this without complaint because he sees any time he gets to spend with Eddie as a gift from the universe and he is a thirsty man. He did draw the line at washing Eddie’s curtains, for the second time in one month.

But still, the house is quiet, and there is a half-full coffee mug sitting on the kitchen counter and Buck’s heart rate is picking up in his chest as he tries to squash his rising panic.

“Eddie?” He calls out as he toes his shoes off and dumps his duffle bag in the entryway. Eddie will surely berate him for leaving his stuff laying around later but right now he has bigger issues. The last time he had come to Eddie’s house and found him unresponsive behind his locked bedroom door had not been an enjoyable experience for either of them and Buck prays to all things holy that he is not about to find Eddie having another breakdown.

When he does spot Eddie, he is curled in a ball on his couch with his arms tucked up to his chest and his eyes squeezed shut. He is stiff as a board but Buck can see the shiver quaking across the plains of his shoulders even from across the room.

Buck rushes to his side, quickly dropping to his knees next to the couch and trying to get his face in Eddie’s line of sight.

“Eddie? Hey man, you good?”

He gets no response. Eddie’s hands are fisted into the front of his own shirt and his knuckles are white as a sheet. It’s then that Buck takes in just how pale Eddie is. His usual olive complexion is looking washed out and creamy in the bright light of his living room.

“Eddie? Come on, can you hear me? Eds?”

Last time, when he found Eddie rocking back and forth on his bedroom floor and barely responsive with a baseball bat clutched between his hands, Buck had known better than to try and touch him before Eddie was able to tether himself back to reality. Right now though, with Eddie looking almost catatonic and completely unresponsive, Buck is running out of alternatives. Bobby had said that Eddie had claimed to have a cold that morning and so that is where Buck decides to start. Vitals and symptoms, follow protocol. That he can do.

He reaches out gingerly and lays the back of his hand against Eddie’s forehead. Buck’s not sure who flinches more, Eddie at the sudden contact, or Buck at how hot Eddie’s skin is. He’s burning up and yet Buck can still see the way he is shivering as his muscles spasm under his t-shirt.

“Eddie! Hey, come on man.” Buck rubs the palm of his hand firmly between Eddie’s shoulder blades and back and forth across his shoulders. Buck’s heart is pounding behind his ribcage and his tongue feels heavy in his mouth. Finally, he gets a strangled groan in response and sees Eddie’s eyes shift behind his eyelids.

“Hey, hey, that’s it. Hey, Buddy, you gotta wake up for me. Come on Eddie.” He continues rubbing his hand back and forth as he reaches out to brush the damp curls of Eddie’s fringe back off his forehead.

Buck swears he cannot be held accountable for the way his heart reacted the first time he saw Eddie with his new, In therapy, Working on myself, haircut. The way his palms started sweating and his throat got tighter was instantly passed off as just being happy to see Eddie after weeks of awkward phone calls and canceled plans post-Eddie leaving the 118. Now he knows better but still doesn’t find it productive to think about the way the new trim seemed to make Eddie’s already big brown eyes look wider and the way Buck feels like he would drown in them if given the chance. He knows firsthand the way the molten chocolate can suck you in and never let you go and he would be hopeless and loath to resist.

Finally, Eddie’s eyelids flutter and the barest slither of his eyes peeks through.

“That’s it. Hi, it’s me, it’s Buck.” He feels the need to clarify why anyone other than Buck would be standing in Eddie's living room on a Friday night. Eddie groans again and tries to tuck his face into the couch cushions as he lets his eyes slip shut again. “No, no, no. You gotta stay with me, Eds. Look at me, look at me.”

Buck slides his hand down the side of Eddie’s face, ignoring the clammy way that sweat sits against his skin as he cups Eddie's cheek and tilts his head back up again. He winds an arm slowly around Eddie’s back and tries to leverage him into a sitting position.

“Come on lazy bones, work with me here.” Eddie only groans again and his face screws up in discomfort. “Yeah, yeah. I’m a horrible person waking you up from your nap. You will thank me later.”

He can see the moment that Eddie starts to come around, once he’s sat upright and the blood isn’t all rushing to his head. His chin tries to lull against his chest but Buck props it up gently, one hand still firmly against his cheek while the other curls around the side of his ribs, squeezing gently.

“There we go, that’s it.”

“Buck?” Eddie mumbles though it comes out more like Buhhm.

“Yeah, Baby, it’s me. I’m right here.” The pet name slips out and Bucks rushes to cover his tracks, hoping that Eddie doesn’t notice in his woozy state. Buck already has one crisis to deal with right now. “How are you feeling? You don’t look too hot.”

Eddie grumbles something that Buck thinks is a snide remark about his level of attractiveness and as mentioned, one crisis at a time. Besides, the patent Diaz Sarcasm is a good sign.

“I can’t believe you were going to try and go to work today. Carla said she pretty much had to force you to stay home.” Buck chuckles.

“She’s scary,” Eddie grumbles as his head hangs heavily in Buck’s hold, if Buck didn’t know better he would almost think that Eddie was trying to nuzzle into him but it is just the fever reacting, he’s sure. “-feel fine.”

“Really?” Buck puts on his most astounded voice, “This is what you call fine. Wow, I would hate to see you at anything less than fine.” He’s sure that if Eddie were any more coherent he would be rolling his eyes and pretending not to be amused.

“Well, I guess you don’t need me then. If you’re fine.” Buck makes to pull away and Eddie makes a disagreeable noise.

“Buck,” He draws the name out as he finally turns those big brown eyes up to look directly at Buck. “My head hurts.” He admits, sounding like a petulant five-year-old, and Buck melts.

“I know, Baby.” Oh, sue him. It’s not often he gets to indulge in coddling Eddie. Let him have this. “Hey, I’m gonna get you some water, okay, but you gotta stay awake for me. Can you do that?”

Eddie stares at him blankly for a minute before he seems to shake himself out of the awed state he was in. He seems just as surprised to see Buck in his living room as Buck was to find him trying to become one with his couch cushions.

"Mmh, yeah. I'll try." He eventually replies.

"Okay, that's good. I'll be back in two seconds, just keep your eyes open." Buck barely waits for Eddie's grumbled affirmative before he's ducking out of the room and heads for the kitchen. He returns a moment later with one of Christopher's water bottles in one of his hands and a packet of the Advil he brought at the pharmacy in the other.

"Okay hotshot let's get some of the good stuff in you and then we'll try food yeah?" Buck crouched down in front of Eddie, dutifully ignoring how close he is to Eddie as he kneels between his knees and tucks the bottle into Eddie's hand while he pops two pills out of their foil sleeve.

Eddie hands the water bottle back to him when he is finished drinking and has swallowed the tablets. Buck takes it from him and turns to put the coffee table behind him but doesn't move from where he is kneeling on the floor. When he turns back Eddie is still looking at him and his eyes are a little bit glassy.

“Why are you here?” Eddie asks carefully, his voice barely above a whisper as if he is afraid he will scare Buck away if he speaks too loudly or says the wrong thing. As if there was anything Eddie could do to scare Buck away.

Carefully he reaches out and grips each of Eddie's knees with his hands and tips his head up under Eddie’s line of sight. “Because you’re sick and you didn’t tell me. Because you spent the last twelve hours passed out on your couch and obviously can’t take care of yourself right now.”

“I can, I’m fine,” As if to prove it Eddie moves to push himself up off the couch and Buck can see the moment his head starts spinning and he collapses back onto the cushions and brings his hands up to press at his temples. “Okay, maybe not fine.”

He sounds so resigned like he's more annoyed at being proved wrong than he is at being sick. Buck has to stifle a laugh as he reaches up and grips each of Eddie’s wrists and pulls them away from his head.

“Hey, we’ll have you up and dancing in no time. But first, you need food and a night of proper sleep. Preferably in your bed and not on this couch. It’s really not as comfortable as you think it is.” Buck isn't complaining, he would sleep on Eddie’s couch for the rest of his life just to be able to bask in the domestic, homely presence that is Eddie and Christopher's house.

“Okay.” Eddie agrees and Buck squeezes his shoulders on his way to standing. A quick reassurance that he will be back soon.

In the kitchen, he finds a tub of vegetable soup in the freezer that he had dropped off when Christopher was sick, and a loaf of bread twisted shut and left sitting on the counter. He puts a couple of slices of bread in the toaster whilst he thaws and reheats the soup. He also finds a box of Carla’s herbal tea sitting pointedly beside the coffee machine and quickly boils some water to make Eddie a cup to go with his soup and toast. No doubt Eddie will complain. Regardless of the state of his health, the man almost exclusively drinks coffee and orange juice and has been known to downright refuse to drink almost anything else, besides water.

Unsurprisingly Eddie turns up his nose as soon as he sees Buck returning with a mug of tea in one hand and the plate of toast in the other. He’ll go back to the soup in a minute when the microwave finishes.

“No, come on Buck. Carla already made me drink that this morning.” Eddie whinges.

“Well then you know it’s good for you.” He counters and Eddie rolls his eyes but excepts the mug with a resigned sigh and warms his hands on the sides while Buck places the toast on the coffee table. He takes the now empty water bottle back to the kitchen with him when he hears the microwave beep.

Eddie is still staring forlornly into the top of his cup of tea when Buck returns and the bowl of soup joins the toast on the table while Buck perches himself carefully on the couch next to Eddie.

“Hey,” Buck prompts and places his palm open against Eddie’s back in between his shoulder blades. Eddie’s skin is more than warm even through his t-shirt, which is a little bit damp with the sweat of Eddie’s flu. Had it been anyone else Buck might have found it a little bit gross but it’s Eddie . “What’s bouncing around in the empty brain of yours?”

Eddie shakes his head but leans back into his hand and Buck runs it reassuringly up and down his spine with even pressure.

“Eddie? Hey, talk to me man.” He tucks his chin down to try and catch Eddie’s eye but the other man abandons his mug of tea on the table to run the heels of his hands up his face and covers his eyes. Buck waits patiently and after a moment Eddies lets out a deep sigh and drops his hands from his face but continues staring straight ahead.

“I’m tired,” He says finally, his shoulders digging under the weight of the admission, “I’m tired, I hate being sick. And I miss Christopher.”

Since The Baseball Bat Incident a few months ago Eddie has been working on communicating his actual thoughts and feelings more. It is something Frank originally encouraged him to do to become more aware of his own emotions and to allow those around him to help him validate them. Even though it sometimes takes a moment of hesitation for Eddie to share what he’s thinking, Buck’s heart squeezes with pride every time Eddie willingly shares it with him, even if Eddie tries to downplay it or thinks it's irrational.

“I know, being sick isn’t any fun and I miss Christopher too,” Buck slides his hand across Eddies back and wraps it around his shoulders, and pulls Eddie in against his side. “But he will be home in the morning and then we can spend all day watching Disney movies and playing Mario Cart. The sooner you eat and get to bed the sooner that will be though.”

Buck tucks his chin over Eddie’s shoulder as Eddie leans further into his side and tips his head to rest against Buck’s. Buck matches his breathing and Eddie takes a few deep breaths through an obviously blocked nose, waiting for Eddie to pull away first. Though he’s making good progress with so verbal communication, Eddie still struggles to ask for physical comfort when he needs it. Thankfully that is something that Buck has no qualms in giving freely and in abundance.

Eventually, Eddie sits up straight again and reaches up to squeeze the hand that Buck has around his shoulder.

“Okay, but I am not drinking that leaf water.”

“Yes, you are.”

“ Fine .”

Buck removes his arm but stays pressed along Eddie’s side on the couch, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee.

_____

Eventually, Eddie does manage to down the whole mug of herbal tea, though he pulls a terrible face with every mouthful. Buck knows that most of it is just for show. His friend is nothing if not dramatic, and yet he has been trying to blame some of Christopher's recently developing sass on Buck’s influence.

"Feel better?" Buck prompt when Eddie puts his empty soup bowl on the table next two the empty plate and mug.

"I feel full."

"Well, that's a good start. Do you think you can make it to your room? I'll just take these dishes to the kitchen."

"Yeah, yeah I'll be fine." Eddie tries for conviction and falls short but Buck doesn't call him on it.

"Okay, I'll give you a minute." He cups the back of Eddie's neck as he stands up from the couch, he's still concerningly warm but not as bad as when Buck first arrived. He leaves Eddie on the couch and carries the dishes to the kitchen, quickly rinsing them and vowing to wash them properly before he makes his bed on the couch. He has no plans to go anywhere tonight but first things first, he needs to get Eddie to bed.

When he returns to the living room he finds Eddie still sitting on the couch. He's perched on the edge of the seat like he's preparing to stand up but his head is between his hands and his eyes are closed.

"How's the bedtime routine going?"

"Tried. Too dizzy." Eddie groans and rubs his temples.

"Okay, okay. I got you." Buck's feet carry him across the room to stand in front of Eddie as he reaches out both of his hands. Eddie looks up, takes a deep breath, and then winces as he reaches back and grabs Buck's forearms, allowing himself to be pulled slowly to his feet.

Once standing, Eddie sways concerningly and Buck quickly throws Eddie's arm over his shoulders and tucks himself into Eddie's side, propping him up steadily.

"Woah, okay. Easy, easy." He wraps his arm around Eddie's back and squeezes his side reassuringly. "Let's take this slowly, okay? One foot in front of the other. I've got you."

They make it halfway down the hallway before Eddie tenses up and he abruptly stops Buck in his tracks.

"Wait, wait! Stop." He is pale as a sheet and his eyes are unfocused.

"Okay, okay. Deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth." Buck instructs trying to keep nausea at bay. "That's it, you're doing good."

"I'm sorry." Eddie whims. "I just-"

"No. No sorrys. You're okay." Buck assures him. "I've got you. Nowhere I'd rather be, okay?"

He's giving too much away, if Eddie were fully coherent, conscious enough to read into Buck's words and actions even a little bit, he would surely see every truth written plainly across Buck's face. Every terrifying emotion Buck feels towards him coating every word. Maybe he still knows. Buck is getting worse and worse at hiding it, at pretending that the way he feels for Eddie, the way he cares for him, still falls in the category of 'just dudes being bros'. The way Buck cares for Eddie has been anything but platonic for a long time now.

And Eddie being sick, Eddie barely able to stay on his own two feet, has Buck's heart breaking at every shaky step. They stand still in the middle of the hallway, the light of the moonlight and the street lamps barely spilling from the living room window.

"Glad you're here." It is the quietest whisper, barely audible over the pounding in Buck's chest and his heart leaps unbidden. Eddie sinks more heavily into Buck's hold and he quickly has to rearrange his grip to keep him upright.

“Nowhere I’d rather be,” Buck repeats and tucks his chin into Eddie’s shoulder, pressing his forehead against the side of his head as Eddie breaths deeply. Eventually, Eddie nods and squeezes his forearm and they start moving down the hallway again.

Buck sits Eddie down on the edge of his bed and waits for him to right himself and stop swaying before he digs into Eddie's draws and finds him a pair of sweat shorts and a t-shirt. He leaves them on the bed beside Eddie, instructing him to get changed while Buck does the same and excuses himself to the bathroom, grabbing a top and shorts from Eddie's draws for himself as he passes.

Once changed, Buck stands in front of the mirror in Eddie's bathroom, toying with the material of the t-shirt between his fingers as he glances from the fraying hem up to his own reflection. The material is worn soft and stretches over Buck's shoulders in an obscene way. It even smells like Eddie, like the scent-free laundry detergent that he buys because it doesn't irritate Christopher's skin, like the soft, warm scented cologne that Karen got him for Christmas last year, and like that distinctly Eddie thing that Buck can never identify but always makes he feel at home. It causes his stomach to roll and his heart to squeeze in his chest.

He leans his palms against the bench and takes a long deep breath through his nose and lets it out again slowly.

Eddie is resting back against the headboard of his bed when Buck returns to the bedroom. Buck smiles at him softly when he lifts his head and Eddie returns it quietly. His eyes look clearer than when Buck left him, the change of scenery and the cool temperature of Eddie’s bedroom probably helping to clear his head a bit.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Buck asks as he makes quick work of closing the curtains and making sure that the water bottle Eddie often keeps by his bed is full. Maybe he should find some Advil for him too. “Do you still feel queasy?”

Eddie glances up from where he has been fiddling with his hands and shakes his head slowly.

“No, I’m okay now I think.”

“Okay.” Buck takes one more quick glance around the room, “Okay, that's good. Well, I’ll be in the living room if you need me. Seriously, please just wake me up if you start feeling worse again.”

Eddie stares at him blankly and Buck decides that he’s probably too tired to process much of what Buck is saying so he claps his hands in front of himself and makes for the door.

“Right, I will leave you to-”

“Stay."

Buck's head shoots up so quickly that his neck aches. He looks at Eddie, sitting quietly in his bed, his legs half under the covers and his hands folded tightly together in his lap.

"What?" Buck says intelligently.

"Stay. You said the couch isn't comfortable.” Eddie takes a pause and after a moment, “And I want you to stay.”

“Eddie, you-”

“Buck.” Those wide, brown eyes. Oh, how Buck crumbles before them.

"You sure?" Buck presses and Eddie nods firmly.

"Please, Buck.” And who is Buck to say No to an offer like that?

Slowly he rounds to the other side of the bed as Eddie situates himself fully under the covers and lays down with the blankets pulled snuggly under his chin. Buck still hesitates as he pulls back the covers on the other side of the bed and perches on the edge of the mattress.

It's not the first time they've shared a bed. They did it for months during quarantine but that was out of necessity and short of building a pillow wall between them, they had kept to their own sides of the bed. Any accidental koala-like behavior was quickly brushed off in the morning and never spoken about.

"Buck." He glances down at Eddie and finds those comforting eyes staring back at him, nothing but softness in Eddie's expression. And when Eddie reaches over and grasps Buck's wrist, tugging lightly, Buck is hopeless to resist and quickly slides under the covers.

"You better not get me sick too," Buck says for the sake of something to say.

“No promises.” Eddie jokes and Buck hums accusingly.

They are both quiet for a long moment, laying side by side under Eddie’s soft green covers, Eddie's fingers still circling Buck’s wrist. His grip isn't very tight but it is firm enough that Buck knows he is not going to let go.

“Thank you,” Eddie whispers into the darkness. “For coming, for staying.”

“Always.” Buck replies and in a moment of complete insanity shifts his hand so that he can slip Eddie’s fingers from around his wrist and grip them between his own. He hears Eddie’s breath catch and then he squeezes back and some of the pressure on Buck’s chest alleviates.

_____

When Buck wakes up the sun is streaming through the gap between Eddie's bedroom curtains and Eddie is sprawled across Buck's chest, his head tucked comfortably beneath his chin and his arms wrapped snugly around Buck's waist. Buck takes stock and finds that his own arms are firmly around Eddie, holding him in place and even with the weight of a full-grown man on top of him, Buck has never been so comfortable.

Very slowly Buck retracts one hand from under the covers and presses the back of his hand to Eddie's forehead. The sigh of relief he lets out is completely unintentional. Eddie's fever broke at some point during the night and the color is already returning to his cheeks. God, even Eddie's immune system is a drama queen, having such a meltdown over a twenty-four-hour flu. Buck isn't the least bit surprised.

Eddie stirs on top of him and nuzzles his face more firmly against Buck’s throat in a way that means he is sure to feel the way that Buck’s pulse beats erratically against his skin. Buck takes a deep, controlled breath and lets it out slowly through his nose. His breath ruffles Eddie's hair and the other man snuffles and shifts on top of Buck.

Buck is contemplating extracting himself from Eddie's hold when suddenly wide brown eyes are staring into his own and he is locked into a staring match with a very confused and suddenly very awake Eddie Diaz.

"Buck?" Eddie lifts one arm from where it was resting against Buck's side to rub at his eyes as if he doesn't recognize Buck from half a foot in front of his face.

Buck isn't sure how he is supposed to respond either. Did Eddie's fever-fogged brain forget everything from the day before? Has he woken up with some sort of fever-induced amnesia?

"Ah, Yes?" Buck says dumbly as he continues to stare into Eddie's eyes, suddenly unable to make any of his limbs respond.

Eddie squints back at him for a moment, obviously taking stock of their proximity but also not making any moves to pull away or extract himself from Buck's hold.

"You are in my bed." It's a statement that sounds like a question and Buck's heart drops to his stomach.

"You wouldn't let me sleep on the couch." He eventually responds.

Eddie continues to watch him carefully for a moment before he nods like that makes sense and almost instantly collapses back down on top of Buck's chest, tucking himself comfortably under his chin and snaking his arms around his waist.

"Good." He says with a content sigh. "Should have told you to stop sleeping there ages ago. Your legs are too long."

Buck's barely awake brain ticks over as it tries to equate what sounds like Eddie not wanting Buck to stay at his house anymore with the present act of Eddie trying to bury himself in Buck's ribcage.

"I can hear you overthinking, Buckley." Buck squirms when Eddie pokes him soundly in the ribs. "I wasn't trying to insinuate anything."

After a moment Buck lets himself relax back into the mattress and rests his hand softly between Eddie's shoulder blades, deciding that if Eddie isn't going to acknowledge the way they have pretzeled themselves together beneath his bed sheets then he will also bask in it while he has the chance.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit groggy, thirsty. But a lot better than yesterday."

There's a pause before Eddie continues, his voice barely above a whisper but Buck can feel the way it rumbles through his chest.

"Thank you," He presses his hand against the curve of Buck's waist, his fingertips brushing along the hem of his shirt. Buck barely suppresses a shiver as goose bumps wash across his skin. "For looking after me."

"Always."

Buck rubs his hand up and down Eddie's back, feeling the knobs of his spine beneath his palm and the way his muscles shift under the fabric of his t-shirt.

Birds chirp outside the window, a car drives down the street and one of the neighbor's kids rolls past on their skateboard. The world is waking up around them and yet Buck and Eddie draw closer to each other. Tucked together like two interlocking puzzle pieces, Buck's chin resting on the top of Eddie's head, Eddie's hands fisted into Buck's shirt.

"Hey, Buck?"

Buck hums in response, his eyes slipping shut as he lets the warmth of Eddie's embrace sink down into his bones.

"Do you wanna come to pick Chris up with me later? We can maybe take him to the park for the afternoon or watch that Disney movies he's been obsessed with."

"Encanto?"

"Yeah, that one." Eddie nods against his chest and slowly fingers at the sleeve of Buck's shirt, his fingertips brushing against Buck's bicep in delicate, unintentional strokes. "You could stay for dinner if you want and maybe here again tonight, with me? Not on the couch."

Eddie rushes through the end of his question as quickly as the words reach Buck's ear and he's suddenly wide awake and sitting upright. Eddie is thrown off of him and starts picking at the bed sheets, avoiding Buck's startled gaze.

"Eddie? Eddie, what are you-?"

"Look, I hate it when you go back to your loft, okay? The house feels like it's missing something, someone, when you're not here and it feels more like a home when you are. I want you to belong here, with us. With me."

"I just-," Eddie lets out a resigned sigh, glancing up at Buck before quickly looking away again. "I want you here, Buck. Always. So does Christopher. He was complaining this morning about having to have cereal for breakfast because you weren't here for pancakes."

There's a depreciating chuckle before he continues. Eddie's shoulders are stiff and square, the relaxed and openly affectionate state he had woken up in nowhere to be seen.

"Eddie, I -." Buck's heart is pounding in his chest and if he could find the strength he would pinch himself because surely he is either dreaming or completely misinterpreting Eddie's words.

"It's okay, maybe I read this all wrong," He's rushing his words again, covering his tracks. Buck can see his walls coming up around him in real time, "And if that's the case then I won't bring it up again. I just- I couldn't let you leave again without you knowing. Not after this, not now that I know what it's like to wake up in your arms and know that I want to be able to do that for the rest of my life."

With an almost completely closed off gaze, Eddie finally glances up to met Buck's eyes, obviously trying to gage his reaction.

"Then stay." Eddie is facing him fully now, sitting cross-legged next to Buck's hip and cupping his hand over the ball of his shoulder before slipping it up to clasp the side of Buck's neck. "Please stay."

"You- Are you sure? I didn't even know you- Eds, I want that too."

There's a glint of hope and it almost takes Buck's breath away.

"Okay." Buck can't fight the grin that spreads across his face so quickly his cheeks hurt instantly. "You mean it? Truly?"

Their heads slowly draw closer to each other.

"I love you," Eddie says in lieu of an answer, and that about covers it. Buck tips himself over the last remaining inch to press his lips against Eddie's.

In that same instant, Eddie presses his hand over Buck's mouth, stopping him in his tracks.

"No, wait! You'll get sick!"

"Don't care." Buck grabs Eddie's wrist and pulls his hand away, cupping his other hand around Eddie's cheek and tipping their foreheads together.

"You should." Eddie laughs, bright and free and the most beautiful sound Buck has ever heard. And it tastes just as good as it sounds as finally Buck kisses him.

There are no fireworks or orchestral swells, but it's warm and soft, and still perfect. Heat rushes through Buck's chest and his toes tingle as Eddie kisses back with just as much intent. Buck tips his head to the side, using the hand still resting against Eddie's chin to guide their movements and deepen the kiss. After a moment Eddie pulls away, an awestruck giggle escaping his lips.

"You really will get sick." He says again, trying to reason with him even as he fights to keep the grin off his face. "And I won't be any good at taking care of you. I can't even make you soup."

"Still don't care." He presses another short peck against Eddie's lips, reveling in the way it makes his grin widen and Buck's own smile only matches it. "But for what it's worth, you already take care of me, always."

"Always." Eddie agrees, his cheeks are glowing with warmth and his smile is still firmly in place. He looks happy, he looks healthier and Buck feels settled.

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fox #eddie diaz #evan buck buckely #buck 911 #911 fic #bad things happen bingo #meegs writes stuff #meegs says stuff #buddie 911 #sick fic #Sick!Eddie Diaz #Caretaker!Buck #911 fanfic #buddie fanfic #asks #anon request #fic request

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riflewounds · 2 years

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Whumptober, day 14 | Die A Hero, Or Live Long Enough To Become A Villain (Failed Escape, "I'll be right behind you.")

Oh this wasn't good.

This was so not good--

Bullets landed at their feet. Durant's lungs burned as he and his boss ran for dear life, bleeding and wheezing. There was that nasty pain in his bones, he couldn't feel the very tips of his fingers but he still reached for his gun. Grasping onto its grip. He whipped around, aimed as quickly as he could and he pulled the trigger. The bullet burrowed into the shoulder of one of the pursuers, but for each one he downed, two more would replace them.

They had to run out eventually.

But Durant didn't have much ammo left. And Fuchs didn't seem to want to shoot.

Another bullet whizzed far too close to Durant's cheek, taking off an inch of one of his bangs. A quick brush with death, one he retaliated within a second.

Two bullets left his gun.

One body fell to the ground with a glorious spray of crimson.

Thirteen rounds left in the magazine. He had two more. So forty five. And another thirty loose rounds scattered over multiple pockets. Seventy five rounds. Not nearly enough to take down what seemed to turn into an entire private military company.

And if they're indeed facing a PMC, then their hopes of escape no longer exist.

But Fuchs didn't seem to care, he ran and ran, stopped at the end of the hallway to look at his gunman, lagging behind as he tried to keep the armed men at bay.

"Dee, we have to go!"

His gun barked twice more. Another body fell, and their death was quickly avenged.

Searing pain ripped through his leg. Felled him to the ground and he scrambled towards his boss.

Only now Fuchs decided to actually fight, only now his fingers curled around a silver Beretta he whipped out of his coat, he let off round after round, hitting center mass on multiple of their pursuers.

They barely did anything. "They're wearing vests!"

"I fucking know!"

Durant scrambled to his feet once he rounded the corner, nearly screaming as he put weight on his wounded leg. God, he was leaking good, blood welling up in spurts worryingly close to the rhythm of his heart. "Think they got an artery."

Fuchs didn't reply, but the gunman could tell he heard him. His expression shifted, brows furrowed into some sort of a quiet, worried fury.

Durant kneeled by the wall, tugging at the tie wound tightly around his neck. His motions were slowing, nothing he could do would make it faster.

At last he freed it, he began to tie it some fifteen centimeters above the wound, just as he's done many times, before Fuchs spoke up again.

"I can't hold them back, we have to move!"

But this time it was the gunman who remained quiet, he yanked at both ends of the tie, crossing them over the front, tying them into as tight of a knot as he could. Ties were replaceable. He could buy a new tie for some twenty bucks, that much he could spare.

But Fuchs. He couldn't replace Fuchs.

He rose back to his feet, woozy and faint. His boss brushed past the gunman, urging him to come along, but Durant only wrapped his fingers around the grip of his trusty CZ, more confident than ever.

One step. Two. Three. Four, and he had to stop, leaning against the wall, trying to breathe through the ripples of pain.

Fuchs was right next to him again, looking at him with an unusual mix of worry and... what may have very well been sorrow.

"I'll be right behind you," the gunman uttered.

Famous last words.

He wouldn't make it, he wouldn't be able to keep up with a fucked leg and enough missing blood for his sight to dim. But his contract would be fulfilled, he did what he was paid to do, and that's to protect his boss to the best of his ability, to make sure they make it out alive, his survival be damned.

So Fuchs took point, and Durant followed. He heard them getting closer, but he wasn't bothered to match Fuchs' pace.

Maybe this was the escape he wanted all along.

Durant made it past the corner, noting how much more distance there was between him and his boss.

He wouldn't make it. Right behind you my ass, he scolded himself.

Their pursuers were right at the corner. And he'd make damn sure Fuchs had a chance of getting the fuck out of here.

Durant glued himself to the wall, back first. Braced his arms against one another, shaky fingers gripping the gun like a lifeline.

He aligned the front sight post with the back sights. It was... more difficult than he remembered.

And once the first man rounded the corner, he fired. A bullet burrowed into the man's neck. Ten more seconds to live, and then he's a corpse. Another man rounded the corner. And another. Two more bullets left the barrel, both men felled with a well-placed shot to their neck.

Gunpowder and blood filled the air. Fire and brimstone. Was there a fire?

Sudden pain erupted in his shoulder, and the gun was no longer in his hands, it screamed and wailed for its master, but it was all in vain. An inanimate object won't do much by itself.

His back met the ground with a dull thud. His skull landed hard against the concrete floor, horrible pain clouding his senses and when he could feel again, there was no escape. Zip ties at his wrists. A thumb at the wound in his shoulder, pressing hard but he only whimpered, jaw locked tight and determined not to show any weakness.

"Make sure to ask him about the guy he was with once you patch him up."

Would he come back for him?

"Yessir."

He didn't think it was likely.

#whumptober2022 #no.14 #failed escape #i'll be right behind you #OC #fic #yeah it's a bit shorter than the other stuff #didn't have quite as much writing juice today #technically a prequel to the previous whumptober piece

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bylightofdawn · 11 months

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I managed to survive another day of work though for a while there I wasn't sure that was going to happen. I also discovered this sizeable fraud trend with this fraudster submitting the same docs across different accts with hi same but differing SSN's. I am not kidding when I said I had to go through like 20+ orders checking if the ID submitted as the same one. Thankfully most were marked for fraud due to the correlated fraud on the name but four absolute braintrust agents signed off on that shit and I had to close 4 accts at like 9:30. So I didn't get off till like 10:15.

Bro these meds are fucking with me so hard. Today I've had blurry vision all day long. Which is apparently a known side effect of the meds. Combine that with my weird balance issues, the bought of random dizziness and light-headedness and I'm just ready to throw in the towel and request my doc sends a different script with hopefully less side effects.

Which at this point I feel like a record on repeat with my whinging.

In other news I got approved for a Playstation credit card so I'm going to purchase the MWII PS5 when it comes in the mail. I was TRYING to get it taken care of now because PlayStation has this amazing special of them giving a 125 account credit if you spend 500+ but that special is expiring today which is sad cause that was a nice little rebate. But....it is what it is. I just hope the MWII bundle doesn't go up in price. I'm mainly getting that because it has the game and that's like what? 65 bucks?

I'm high key hoping the games I bought through the PlayStation store on my PS4 will transfer to the PS5 but I'm not too hopeful. I know my Borderlands 3 copy will. Not sure about Tiny Tina's assault on dragon keep.

A part of me is concerned about getting a new credit card but I COULD have used affirm and paid out over 6 months but those loans always stress me out. I did it for my last two Hot Toys purchases and was able to make the payments on time but I just stress all the same.

And this playstation card is only being used for this purchase. I might add Jedi Survivor since I don't think it's going on sale any time soon and holy shit the second market on PS5 games is a scam. A used MWII was like 55 bucks so ten dollars off the new version of the game. Ya'll are tripping.

And in other, other news I am still super bored with my hair. I've been watching too many Brad Mando videos and this one DIY YTber who has the most gorgeous hair that kinda ranges from a super pale gray with a hint of lavender to a more steel lavender color. It's gorgeous. I have also never bleached my hair aside from getting some highlights.

But I was kinda pinteresting and found a couple of stunning examples that I kinda want to try out

This is like a silvery ashy gray but there's a dark purple shadow root which looks awesome but I'd prolly be better off going to something closer to my natural color.

Not to that extreme and I'm not even sure a shadow root is a thing you can do on a pixie like mine. But it definitely evokes something in me.

It's not so extreme either though a lot of work places don't care about crazy hair color, especially call centers and if I had to in a pinch I'm sure I could go to the hair dresser and just have them tone to a pale ash gray. And honestly? I've never seen myself as a blonde. I'll prolly have to go see Juan about the vinyl decals so I might stop my old boss's sister's hair salon which is attached to the shop Juan took over.

I am not in a rust to get this done but I am super strongly considering it.

Okay I am closing out tumblr and I'm going to work on this damned fic. Not chance in hell it gets finished tonight but any progress I can make is something that inches me closer to completion.

#life of el #this is a very rambling post

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maximons · 2 years

Text

Four-eyes

Summary: Having just ran out of contacts, Y/n has to resort to wearing glasses around the compound for the time being. Knowing she’d get teased by her loving teammates, she wasn’t looking forward to it. But her girlfriend, Wanda, might feel differently.

Word Count: 1,035

Genre: Fluff

Requested?: Yes

Warnings: Mentions of violence

A/N: I’m back after disappearing after I made you all send in requests...lol whoops. Here’s a fun little one to get myself back in the mode of writing, hope you enjoy and happy reading!

You’ve always joked that your terrible eyesight would be the death of you.

You never really thought that could be a real possibility, but hey, welcome to the reality of being an Avenger.

It’s honestly ridiculous that you could shoot ice out of your bare hands, survive sub zero conditions without even as much as a shiver, and instantly convert your entire body into solid ice...but you still needed to put two little pieces of plastic in your eyes if you wanted to see.

You found it embarrassing, so needless to say you kept it to yourself.

Bu secrets never stayed hidden forever. Even the silly ones.

What started out as a simple undercover mission became a hectic fight to the death.

Not literally, but being dramatic is fun.

You had to hand it to the HYDRA goons for their precision. You were going toe to toe with one of them when he brought out a dagger. You went to turn yourself into your ice form to deflect from the slices, but before you were covered entirely, the goon landed a slice to your left eye.

You were really lucky you only somehow ended up with your contact sliced in half and not your whole eyeball.

Still, that didn’t stop you from being annoyed at the huge inconvenience.

Unfortunately, you were on your last pair of contacts before you were supposed to go to your annual eye doctor appointment to get another years supply. You could probably call and order another pair for the time being, but it didn’t make much sense to spend the money when the appointment was only a week away.

With a sigh, you realized what it’d have to be.

You opened your nightstand and dug around for a few moments before pulling out the eyeglass case you barely use. Opening it up, you carefully picked up the black frames and opened them up, slipping them on your face. It took you a second to readjust to the sensation of glasses on your face, since you tried to avoid it as much as possible.

You dropped the case into your draw and shut it with annoyance. “Welcome to dork-ville.” You muttered to yourself as you left your room.

You made your way into the compound common room, where you see Sam, Bucky, and your girlfriend, Wanda, lounging in front of the TV. You sighed, preparing yourself for the teasing that was sure to come, and walked over to the couch. You plopped down next to Wanda, who was of course reading, and threw your arm over the back of the couch, over her shoulders.

“What are we watching?” You asked Sam and Bucky, as you tried to understand what was happening on the TV.

“It’s this old movie that Buck wouldn’t stop bugging me about.” Sam muttered, eyes threatening to shut out of boredom.

“It’s a classic at this point, Sam! I can’t believe that you haven’t see it!” Bucky defended.

“Not every movie from the 40s is a classic, we’ve been over this.” Sam fired back. “Y/n, can you please tell the fossil that-” He cut himself off when he finally looked over to you, his eyes widening slightly as his boredom quickly faded upon looking at you.

The smile that started spreading on his face told you everything you needed to know. “Don’t-”

“Jinkies!” He exclaimed You roll your eyes at the Velma catchphrase, quickly catching on to what he was saying.

“You’re hilarious.” You deadpanned. At this point, Bucky and Wanda both looked up at you. Bucky adopting a similar expression to Sam’s, while your girlfriend wore an expression you couldn’t quite decipher.

“C’mon, this is gold! I’d make a four-eyes joke, but I have to be original here-”

“No, you really don’t.” You cut him off, as he scratched his chin in fake thought.

“Oh, yes I do, frosty. Just give me a minute.” You groaned as you threw your head back in annoyance. You knew you’d receive taunts from your teammates, especially Sam, but c’mon. Of course you had to run into him first. It was like facing the final boss when you just barely finished the tutorial.

“Since when do you wear glasses?” Bucky asked. You could tell teasing remark was on the tip of his tongue as well, but he held himself back. Thank goodness.

“Since I ran out of contacts.” You replied simply.

“You wear contacts?” Wanda finally piped up. You looked down at her, her eyes locked intensely onto yours.

“I, uh, yeah.” You replied, confused by the look you were getting.

“You never told me that.”

“Uh...didn’t think it was worth mentioning?” Wanda didn’t say anything else as she coughed slightly, attention returning to her book. You looked at her with furrowed brows for a moment, before addressing the room again.

“Okay, look I know I don’t look great, but it’s only for a week, and then-”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s the problem, professor.” Sam interrupted you, gaze pointed at Wanda. You looked back down at her to see a blush forming on her cheeks as she looks a her book like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. You raised an eyebrow as you started to catch on.

“Wait, really?” You asked, lowering your voice just so the conversation was between you two.

Wanda looked back up at you, words stuck in her throat as she took in your appearance again. A smirk started forming on your face as you two remained locked in your staring contest.

“Of course she’s into nerds, she dated Vision for fucks sake.” Sam’s comment effectively interrupted the moment. You looked up at him to fire a comment back, but before you could, a hand wrapped around your wrist.

“Have a good day, boys.” Wanda said quickly as she stood up and began to speed walk to her room, dragging you behind her. You and Wanda haven’t been dating for long, but you knew her well enough to know what this meant. You smiled and gave the boys a mocking salute as you two left.

If this was the reaction you in glasses gets, you’ll definitely be sure to wear them more often.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

The Devil’s Own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

“ Sign it. ”

I glared at him, feeling sick at the tone. The entitlement.

“No.” I said sharply and I could feel his anger swelling, morphing into something dangerous and deadly but I couldn’t care anymore. I was tired. Exhausted. This cat and mouse game had gone on , long enough. It wasn’t an even playing field, in any sense of the qword.

If today was the day I died, so be it. I would accept it. I would even welcome it.

I was done.

He had everything : an empire at his beck and call , enough money to pave the streets of Seoul in gold and an army of loyal associates behind him. His face was plastered on Billboards across the country , the President posted pictures of him on his fucking SNS and delegates from other countries had to wait weeks , just to get an appointment with the youngest billionaire South Korea had ever seen.

And yet none of those white collared dignitaries saw this side of him. The dirty, violent ruthless man who had more blood on his hands than anyone else in the country. My father’s. My brothers’.

Jeon Jungkook was both the most revered business man in the country and the undisputed king of Seoul’s criminal underbelly.

“You defiance only makes me want to break you in other ways Elena.” He said warningly and I felt my throat go dry. I stared at him, wondering how someone could look so expensively gorgeous and yet, like a hardened criminal.

The expensive silk shirt, the fitted slacks and the handmade shoes ought to clash with the dark ink that covered his entire arm and neck, the piercing on his eyebrow and the glint of metal on his tongue but it didn’t.

It just all came together to make him the most attractive man in existence.

I took a deep breath. Perhaps begging was the way to go?

“ You have my father’s company. You have my brother’s Hospital and you have the family mansion. It’s all yours. This bakery belongs to my mother. It’s all I have left of her. My sister in law is pregnant , due any day. She needs a place to stay and I don’t… I don’t have money to rent anywhere else.” I said desperately, thinking of the paltry wage I earned waiting tables. I could barely afford food for myself let alone for Jisoo and the baby on the way.

The bakery was abandoned but it had a roof. The furniture was crumbling but I could fix that. If I didn’t have to worry about rent, I could save up enough to make it livable. At least till I got a better job.

“I’ve offered you solutions for all of that.” He reminded me softly, eyes trained unblinkingly on me and I stared at him.

“I’m not going to be your whore.” I felt my voice shake.

He grimaced.

“You aren’t qualified to be my whore. And I don’t need one either. Whores are not my thing. I have a beautiful fiancée, don’t you remember? ” He grinned. I felt my heart ache because that fiancée was once my best friend. The only person I had trusted with my entire life. Lisa had betrayed my trust, had spied on my father’s operations and brought him down and I had the horrible, horrible inkling that she had also had something to do with my father and brother’s untimely death in a car crash.

But I couldn’t think about that. Every time I thought about her my heart broke and head spun, and I had to be at my maximum mental capacity if I was going to deal with her heartless fiancée.

“ If you ask me, you’re not fit for anything more than a back alley blowjob for a couple bucks. But Hoseok thinks you have potential. Join his agency, there are a lot of very wealthy men who have a bone to pick with your father. He made a shit ton of enemies. Most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of you. ”

His words felt like worms crawling all over my skin and I could feel the nausea churn inside me.

“I’m not signing the bakery over. You can call the creditors. I still have another year and half to pay the one remaining loan and they won’t come for me till then.” I felt my head begin to throb and Jungkook sighed.

“Suit yourself.” He stood up and I stayed still, watching his tall frame tower over me with ease. He gave me a small bitter smile. It was fraught with hatred and I stared back at him, knowing the emotion was probably mirrored in my gaze.

“Beautiful Elena. As pretty as the day you left me at the altar.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Your vengeance is petty and pointless and unfair…just like you.” I said angrily, frustration building u at his words. The way he talked about our broken engagement like it even mattered. It hadn’t even been real. We had hardly spoken and my father had called the wedding off at the last moment. But apparently, that had been the last straw for the Jeons. They had come after my father’s entire existence with a single minded intent to destroy him and they had succeeded. The man was dead . His two sons were dead.

But apparently it wasn’t enough.

Jungkook stared at me, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Maybe. But it’s also deadly and potent. And it won’t rest until I see you reduced to nothing but a whore on the streets, spreading your legs for every man who can afford you.” He laughed. “ Saying no is a luxury , one that you’ll soon be unable to afford.”

I refused to be cowed, refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his words scared me. Because they did.

They scared me so damn much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This bed is so lumpy… I’m so sorry, unnie..” I said apologetically but Jisoo shook her head quickly, palms cupping my face as I held her elbows, gently lowering her to the bed. I stared at her feet, feeling my heart race at how swollen they looked. That can’t be normal, a voice whispered and

I didn’t know if that was normal and I had no money to take her to a clinic. The social center we usually went to only allowed three visits per month and we had used it all up. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and spend the thirty thousand won it would take but that would mean no groceries for a week and surely bread and eggs wouldn’t stretch that long, even if I could sneak meals in the restaurant for myself.

“I’ve been feeling a little dizzy…I’ll just sleep.” She said tiredly. She was thirty six weeks along, not due for another four weeks but her blood pressure was erratic. Her lab numbers were oscillating and there had been talks of an emergency c section. Even with insurance it was way more than I could afford but I had my own jewelry, a few expensive trinkets from my teenage years. I’d been obsessed with diamonds and my father had indulged me and I had a pair of earrings left. I’d already sold the rest but this would take care of the medical bills for the birth itself.

“My shift starts in ten minutes. I have to go. Give me a call if you need anything…” I said softly and I saw the familiar blank and listless look come into her eyes. I knew she was depressed, dealing with grief and pregnancy and loss but there was nothing I could do for her. Nothing. I had applied for a bunch of other jobs but they never wrote back. It wasn’t easy, being rejected over and over again but it wasn’t like there was much else I could do. And the truth was I was resigned to this, accepted that at some point I would have to take more loans and be stuck in an endless cycle of debt for the rest of my life.

And I had made peace with that.

There was no future for me. And I was okay with just surviving.

If only Jungkook would let me.

Apparently, watching me wipe down greasy tables and mop up floors and toilets trying to earn just enough to get a few square meals didn’t soothe his anger. It only fueled it. Jungkook couldn’t fathom that it had been six whole months of me on the streets of Seoul and I wasn’t completely destitute yet. I’d kept myself and my sister in law alive, safe and it pissed him off.

He wanted to see me broken and on my knees, begging him for help. The idea of me somehow surviving despite him taking everything away from me, it just didn’t sit well with him.

I couldn’t afford to have him as an enemy so all I could really hope was that one day he would wake up and give up. One day he would just wake up and decide that I wasn’t worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I walked into my shift and noticed a familiar pair of high heeled Louboutins , completely out of place in my seedy place of employment, I knew I was in trouble. Lisa sat against one of the booths and her gaze was fixated on the door which meant she was waiting for someone. And when her eyes narrowed at the sight of me, I just knew I was the someone.

She wants to get me fired.

It wasn’t rocket science and I felt the urge to turn right back around and leave. But I tamped down on it. I could get through this. I would get through this. Lisa and Jungkook got off on invoking reactions and I wouldn’t give them that.

Except it wasn’t that easy.

It was a nightmare, watching her demand and reject and walk all over me but the sleeplessness from the past few days made spacing out easier and I just stared away at the wall as she yelled and complained and made a scene.

“You’ve stopped fighting? Finally giving up? Good…” She hissed when the manager apologized to her and told me to meet him after my shift and I felt myself tremble in indignation.

“I won’t fight you or Jungkook, you and I both know I can’t afford to.” I said quietly and she went still, something flashing in her eyes for a second. It was gone before I could fully process it but it had been there. Guilt.

Lisa wasn’t a terrible human. She had been a dear friend. We had grown up together and she had even hugged and teased me when I’d been betrothed to Jungkook, all those years ago. I had been twenty back then, naïve and spoiled. While Jungkook had taken my father’s entire legacy apart, piece by piece, Lisa had been nothing more than a pawn. I remembered all the times I had let her home, how she would disappear for lengths of time.

Planting bugs all over the house. All over his office. Jungkook had been smart. Someone like Lisa, so fascinated by thr wealth she had grown up around would naturally jump at the idea of more. It wasn’t greed. It was human nature. And with her help he had destroyed everything my father had built over decades.

I shuddered. My father hadn’t been a good man. He had been greedy, yes. But he hadn’t deserved to die. And Jungkook would have to pay for that sin, someday.

“There’s a job waiting for you in Hoseok’s club.” She smiled cruelly , “ you don’t need this one.”

“The fact that you want to take it away from me, tells me that maybe there’s nothing left in you save.” I said blankly and she turned her nose up at me.

“I have Jungkook. I don’t need to be saved.”

I shook my head. She was so naïve. Men like Jungkook cared for nothing but themselves. But I wondered if women like her didn’t care for anything but the money that came with being his. Money was precious, I thought bitterly. I’d never realized how privileged I had been until I’d had it all ripped away.

“He’s the one you need saving from. And one day you’ll realize that.” I shrugged, not in the mood to offer her anymore life advice. If she was alright with being a trophy wife in exchange for a few pretty shoes that was her prerogative.

Before she could reply, my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked nervously and I felt my heart drop to my knees when I heard who it was.

I turned on my heel rushing inside and my manager gave me a look of surprise.

“ My sister..she’s… she’s sick. I need to go.” I said desperately and his eyes narrowed. It was the worst timing. He was already annoyed because of Lisa and I stared in disbelief as he quickly shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry Elena…I just can’t let you leave like that…” He said sharply.

It was so unfair.

“I haven’t taken a single day off in five months…” I said desperately..” Please, she’s pregnant..She needs me, she-“

“If you leave, you won’t have a job to come back to. I can’t do this.. First you make trouble with a customer and now you just want to walk out in the middle of your shift without any notice…”

“Fine. Fire me.” I snapped, because I’d just had enough of it. I was exhausted, and tomorrow I’d go knocking on some other tore and I’d get a job. I lived in Seoul …How hard could it be? For now, I had to get to Jisoo. I had to get the hospital and things would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t okay.

“I… You want to keep her in? So soon?”

“Her blood pressure is through the roof. There are signs of severe pre eclampsia and we want to get her started on a magnesium drip. Steroids to help the baby’s lungs incase we need to deliver…”

“Deliver..?” I couldn’t breathe.

“Yes, I’m sorry…. If her blood pressure doesn’t come down we’re going to have to deliver.”

I nodded, glancing at the bed where Jisoo was sleeping, her face swollen and I knew that she was sick. Really sick. She looked pallid and ill.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked hoarsely.

“We’re going to do what we can… But I’m going to be honest, we’re looking at a c section, a lot of meds and also some time in the NICU for the baby…. Can you afford it? Your sister’s insurance only covers 80% .”

I blinked, completely thrown. White noise rushed through my ears, a dull throb settling right at the base of my skull and beginning to spread all the way to my arms and back. It was panic mixed wth anxiety mixed with despair and I couldn’t quite cope. The earrings wouldn’t cover all that.

“Oh… Oh..yeah.” I said dully, “ Of course I can… Let me just…. Can I have a moment? There’s somethings I need to do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I carefully slipped the cash into the envelope, swallowing as I sat on the pavement. I’d got another call from the hospital, they had administered the steroids but Jisoo’s condition seemed to be worsening. They wanted to try inducing labour soon but they wanted me to pay for the room and for the medicines, and apparently, the earrings weren’t as valuable as I thought they were.

I fought nausea wrapping arms around myself as I stared at the cars whizzing by, the putrid city air clogging my lungs as I tried to come to terms with what was happening. Jisoo needed help. She was the only one left and she carried my brother’s son. I felt my throat clog when I thought of Daehwan. He had been a good guy. I had loved him. It wasn’t fair, what Jungkook had done to my family, I thought miserably .

And the only reason I wasn’t driven by vengeance or anger was because I was nothing like Jungkook. I hated him. I didn’t want him to live in my head, didn’t want to waste any part of myself on him , not even my anger. But it was hard when he wouldn’t let me breathe, always at my heels like a wolf : jaws snapping and blood thirsty eyes trained on me at all times. I couldn’t fathom his obsession sometimes. Surely, his hatred was uncalled for now? He’d taken everything from me anyway.

There was a dull roaring in my ears, one that said that this was not really a surprise. I’d thought about it way too often, had considered it countless times. Had even spent one absolutely horrifying evening scouring the streets of Seoul’s red light district just to see how sex workers behaved.

I’d also realized that in the face of desperation, dignity didn’t hold much value.

You are going to pay your debts on your back and on your knees.

The first time Jungkook had thrown it at my face, eyes glinting with glee, my stomach had rebelled so hard. I’d been absolutely infuriated, had thrown a vase at him. And it had been awful, watching him catch it out of the air with ease, his mocking laughter making my bones rattle as he shook his head, “ That’s how this ends, Elena. Mark my words.”

And it was pitiful , that he went through life so consumed with hatred and vindictive cruelty that he couldn’t leave me alone . He was pathetic. That’s how I saw him. A pathetic child who refused to stop tormenting the helpless ant on the floor although it was no match for his cruelty.

At some point Jungkook was going to win. And his idea of winning was seeing me stripped bare of the one thing that kept me alive : my freedom.

It had just happened sooner than I’d thought.

Because I knew what it would mean, to go to Hoseok. He would own me. Hoseok’s whores were all slaves, tangled in his web so badly that there was no hope of escape. He wasn’t cruel but he was smart. No one left the his ‘ agency’ once they went in. I would be lost, forever. And I couldn’t stomach it.

I stared at my knees, fists clenched on the fabric of my skirt. I grabbed my phone, scrolling through the contacts. I considered it carefully. I had to do this on my terms. Had to make sure I retained some sort of control here.

And I knew just how to do it.

Hoseok picked up on the third ring.

“Hello.”

“I need help.” I croaked out.

The deep chuckle made my skin crawl.

“Elena Gong. What a wonderful, wonderful surprise. What can I do you for?” He drawled.

“Well sweetheart, I’m all out of charity so you’re going to have to make it worth my while.”

I took a deep breath.

“I’m a virgin.” I whispered.

The line went completely silent.

“What?” The amusement in his voice died.

“You heard me and I’ll let you cash in on it. I’ll let you auction it off…” I tamped down on the burning protest in my lung, the screaming inside my head that said it was horrifying, that I was considering this. “ But only if you keep my terms.”

“What makes you think you have a say in that.” He said sharply and I laughed.

“I belong to your world, Hoseok. Did you forget that we were friends, once.” I whispered and he didn’t reply.

Laughter, kindness, a big brother I could always count on, hobi oppa, nine year old me with my fingers curled around his wrist as we ran all around the gardens , a smile so wide that he could spread sunshine on the gloomiest days. Different from Jungkook and Namjoon and Yoongi and the others. Willing to include a ‘ girl’ in his playtime. Lisa and I the only girls, not even fazed watching as the rest of them wielded toy guns and mock interrogation scenes, pretending to kill and maim and torture because that was the world we were born into.

“We’re not friends, Elena. Let’s get that straight. The only part of you that holds any value to me is th part between your legs. So tell me, what do you want.”

“When was the last time you auctioned off someone’s virginity? You know how much money you can make off something like that. Not just from the sale itself but from the entire night. Your club… Your gaming hell…. All of it.”

“You expect me to believe you’re a virgin. At twenty seven.” He scoffed.

“Put the word out, everywhere. If you find one man who says he’s slept with me , I’ll back off.”

“That would require me to tarnish your family name. And you’re alright with that?”

I smiled biotterly.

“Isn’t that what you and your precious Jungkookie want? To see the last living Gong, be labeled as a whore and a slut.”

He didn’t reply.

“I’ll give you that. You can do it… You know that will only interest more people. As Jungkook so eloquently put it, most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of me.”

“What’s the catch. What do you want. ”

“2 billion won.” I said firmly “It will be one night. One night only and I want enough money to pay off every one of my father’s debts, to get me an apartment for my sister in law and to support her and her baby for a year at least.”

“Done.” He said without missing a beat and I went still. What must it be like, to throw around money like that without a care in the world. And it sickened me that Jungkook was probably ten times as rich as Hoseok , the money my father owed him and his associates not even pocket change in comparison to his gargantuan wealth and yet, he stayed on my heels, snapping his jaws like a dog with a bone.

“And Jungkook doesn’t get to watch.” I said softly, knowing exactly what Jungkook would get off on.

That made Hoseok laugh.

“You know him too well. I keep forgetting he was madly in love with you once.”

I resisted the urge to vomit. Jungkook didn’t know love. He knew ownership. He didn’t love me, he thought he owned me. That I was his to play with…. For the rest of his life. And when my father had denied him that, just like a toddler in a toy store being denied a shiny toy to break and trample on, he had thrown a temper tantrum.

Except his tantrums always ended in death and destruction.

“That’s the deal. He doesn’t turn up there to gloat.”

“He’s heading out to Switzerland for a week , two days from now.” Hoseok said evenly.

“Good then. My sister in law…she “ I swallowed. “ She’s in a hospital in Yongsan. I’ll send you the address.”

“I’ll take care of it. But I want you here tonight. I’m not going to drop a couple billion won on your head without making sure I’m getting my money’s worth. And I can’t have you changing your mind and bolting either. My reputation is on the line here. If I put out the word that I’m serving something so fucking delicious and then back out, they’re not going to want to buy Hobi’s wares anymore. You understand what I’m saying darling?” Hoseok drawled and I knew exactly what he was saying. If I agreed to this, it was blanket consent for him to whatever he wanted.

“I won’t back out. I can’t. But this is one night. One night with whichever bastard you choose and that’s it. I want out. I don’t want you or Jungkook hounding me again. Ever.” My voice shook as I dug my fingers into my knees.

“My men will be there in ten minutes. Sit tight, princess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at Hoseok as he carefully poured me a finger of whiskey, neat. He gave me a smirk and I shrugged.

“you remember.” I said casually, throat itching because it had been way too long since I’d had quality alcohol. I missed the burn, the warmth , the numbness that followed.

“Of course I do. You could drink all of us under the table with little effort. It was spectacular.” He laughed and I leaned back against the couch, letting my head fall back.

“I was half certain that you would have a doctor around to make sure I’m a virgin.” I stared at him and he shrugged. “ Pointless. You’re twenty seven, you’ve probably had stuff up there anyway… Not like your hymen’s still going to be intact.”

I thought it was rather horrifying, that I didn’t feel nearly as mortified as I should. This was how Hoseok talked, matter of fact and open and that was why he was so popular. Anytime an important person came into the country, Hobi was the one who offered entertainment for the night. Hobi’s girls were always the prettiest, most well behaved and perfect. They were educated, knew what they were talking about and he didn’t force them into the life. They loved it, enjoyed it and it showed.

Not to say he was a saint.

Far from it.

Hoseok knew how to dine with kings in castles but also how to wrestle with swine in the gutter. The seedy brothels in Seoul’s back alleys were his as well, and he ruled his kingdom with an iron hand. The prostitutes there feared him, one look or word enough to silence any rebellion, any thought of escape.

He was called Hope. And yet somehow that was exactly what he denied the women under him. There was no hope here. There was only lust and power and money. You came to Hobi…. You never left .

I took the glass he offered, taking a small sip, savoring the taste.

“But you believe me. I wonder why.” I watched him closely and he scoffed.

“Between your father and Jungkook, no one ever really had the pluck to come anywhere near you did they?”

Undisputable.

I sighed, leaning back to stare at him.

“Do you think dying hurts?” I asked softly.

It was frightening, how his entire body went stiff, eyes wide and jaw dropping.

“Elena, what the fuck-“

“Its just a question. You’ve killed people. You’ve watched them die… how do you think they feel?” I asked , curious.

“None of them wanted to die. If that’s what you’re asking.” The look in his eyes made me nervous.

I stared at him and the question was obvious. None of them wanted to die, but do you?

I didn’t.

“I’m not thinking of killing myself , oppa. Stop looking so horrified.” I laughed. He shook his head.

“ Don’t joke about that. It’s not fucking funny.”

I sobered up, remembering with a jolt. Ah, of course.

“I’m sorry. I forgot.” I said quietly.

Hoseok’s little sister had killed herself when I was seventeen. She was a year older than me and her father had lost her in a wager to a seventy year old man, known for torturing his bedmates. She had heard the news, taken a deep breath and taken a deep dive off the seventeeth floor of the condo where she lived with her mother.

I’d been engaged to Jungkook by then. And I had almost wanted it. Jungkook wasn’t old at least… twenty one to my seventeen.

“Just so you know, he’s going to find out. And he’s not going to like it.”

I shrugged. Three years is a long time to be preyed upon and now my mind was resigned to a life of being hunted. Hoseok was right. Jungkook would find out and he wouldn’t like it.

Good.

“I don’t care what he does anymore. All I care is that Jisoo and the baby are left out of whatever plans he has…. If you promise me you’ll keep them safe , I’ll cooperate.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a baby boy.

I stared, fingers itching to hold the baby but it was impossible, the little one whisked away to the NICU right after with respiratory distress and Jisoo had gone into a seizure, eyes rolling back into her eyes.

She as alright now, resting in a VIP room with the best care money could buy. Hoseok had asked me if I was happy with the arrangements, and if I would name the boy after him.

I stared at the room, large and breezy and filled with flowers and gifts, toys and baby stuff and I knew right then that I had sealed my fate. I was going to have to go through with this. I could imagine how much Jisoo would protest when she came to her senses. The only relief was that it would take her a few days to be good enough to fight or protest. But then this would all be over and done with.

Jungkook would leave this afternoon. His flight was at three.

I would reach the club at five. The patrons would arrive at seven.

One night, I reminded myself , staring at the gentle rise and fall of Jisoo’s chest as she slept, my fingers playing with the soft skin on her wrist. The IV line went through her veins and I watched the gentle drip of it.

One night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know how auctions happened and while I’d been prepared for the worst kind of humiliation, Hoseok assured me that he wasn’t going to make me stand naked on some podium or something.

“Generally, I would do something like that simply for the flair of it but consider this a favor ….a respite because you were, as you said, once a friend.” He gave me an even smile and I could only nod in mute relief.

I was grateful. Beyond grateful.

And what was more, he hadn’t told anyone, who I was.

That stunned me. Because wasn’t that the selling point? The murderous, greedy mob rat Gong Hyo Suk’s only daughter forced to spread her legs for one lucky stranger? If Hoseok had cashed in on that he would have made a fortune. But he hadn’t. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Would , whoever it was be upset if he recognized me?

I was led to a bedroom, large and tastefully decorated with silky satin sheets and dark curtains and dim lighting that lit up parts of the room and left other parts plunged in darkness. Hoseok had told me to wear whatever I wanted and I realized with a pang that he really didn’t see this as some sort of transaction. He was trying to make it as easy as possible without making any decisions for me. Offering me choices and options and some illusion of being in control.

I didn’t have anything fancy so it was just a dress shirt that I borrowed from Hoseok. I’d left the underwear off, eager to merely get the whole thing over with. I felt a sudden overwhelming urge to laugh out loud.

If Jungkook were here he really would have lost his damn mind, simply because of how little this whole thing affected me. And that was it, really. He was always desperate for a reaction.

Earlier when this whole thing had started, I’d obliged him with that. I would scream, rant and yell….launch myself at him like a wildcat, scratching at him , fists flying and it was obscene, how much he seemed to enjoy that. He would press me up against walls and tables , fingers choking the breath out of my lung, just so he could see me struggle and push back.

He fed off from every negative reaction I offered him and it had taken me a long long time that the way to beat him was to become passive, unresponsive. I would go limp in his arms, stare at him blankly as he tried to manhandle me and that…that had pissed him off. Because that meant I wasn’t playing his game anymore.

If the prey wasn’t playing, the game wasn’t fun anymore. It was drab.

Boring.

And I knew that Jungkook kept raising the stakes, kept tightening the noose around my neck….just to bring that girl out again. The one that had wanted to put up a fight . The one that wanted to mouth off even with the muzzle of a gun pressed against her head. The one who would spit in his face in front of all his associates, even if it earned her a vicious strike of his hand across her face.

I shuddered. They weren’t memories I liked reliving.

Well, if that was who he wanted, I’d make sure he would never see her again.

The door opening made me jump and Hoseok came in , with a wide grin on his face.

“Baby…. Your guest for the night.” He said softly and I peered over his shoulders, my heart and mind grinding to a halt when I caught sight of what had to be the most breathtakingly beautiful man on the face of the planet.

I felt my heart begin to pound, fear taking over because this wasn’t okay. Not really. I was okay with old, creepy and disgusting , not able to get it up for more than ten minutes.

I wasn’t okay with someone who looked like they stepped right out of the latest issue of GQ.

Hoseok left quickly, closing the door behind him and the man stepped into the light, the brightness lighting up his perfect features even more. I felt my throat go dry, and fought the urge to get up and run. Growing up as the daughter of a mobster , I’d learned how to trust my instincts over appearances.

And right now, every single one of those instincts screamed at me that this man was absolutely dangerous.

“Well, you are beautiful. I’ll give you that. “ He said casually.

“Thank you.” I said stiltedly, watching as he tugged on his tie, pulling it off his neck deftly . Instead of tossing it aside , he wrapped it a bunch of times around his wrist over and over as he smiled at me.

“Don’t thank me yet. The only reason I like beautiful things is because of how easily they break.” He smiled. “ I haven’t been with a virgin in a while…. I miss the screams.”

And there it was the full blown panic that came with stark terror. I crawled back on the bed, staring as he moved closer and there was no mistaking the look on his face, the harsh grip of his hand on my ankle telling me that I was going to regret every one of the choices that led me here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hoseok wasn’t at the airport.” Jungkook observed casually, glancing at Yoongi as the latter finished cleaning his gun carefully, eyes fixed on his weapon with utmost concentration.

“He’s holding some sort of auction tonight. Some chick …” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook hummed. It was not the kind of thing he was interested in. Anonymous bids were often boring : actresses or female idols past their prime, desperate to make some money to survive. He had no interest in those but he was a little peeved that Hoseok hadn’t told him anything about it.

Hoseok was one of Jungkook’s most trusted friends. He was almost as powerfully rich as Jungkook and the only reason Jungkook reigned supreme was because Hoseok had no interest in challenging him for the throne. Hoseok was dangerous and cunning and loyal and Jungkook was grateful to have him on his side and he had hoped to see him before leaving. Just to ask him to keep an eye on Elena.

He grimaced, hating himself.

God, he couldn’t go two hours without thinking of her. It fucked with his head, the amount of space she took up inside him. Jungkook , for all his wealth and power, was driven solely by his need to prove himself. He wanted to be powerful and terrifying yes, but more than that , he wanted people to know.

He wanted people to look him in the eye and acknowledge him for what he was : the most dangerous man in the country. He liked seeing that fear, that worship, that admiration. He got off on it. He wanted it , craved it and for some reason he craved it more from her , than anyone else.

And instead of giving him what he wanted, instead of begging on her knees for mercy, instead of licking his shoes and begging for him to let her live….she ignored him. She looked at him with defiance and pride, her chin straight and her back unbending, her gaze locked right on him like she was his fucking equal….

And Jungkook, he’d taken a lot of insults. Taken more than his fair share of hits in life …..

But when she looked at him like that , like he was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe….

Fuck it drove him wild with fury.

It made him want to teach her a fucking lesson, to remind her that he owned her because he owned everything. To break her down, snuff out the flames of defiance that burned so bright in those ember eyes… Take her into his bed and brand her with his body. Till she was on the floor, on her knees covered in his spit and cum begging for mercy….

Because no one looked at Jeon Jungkook like that and lived to tell the tale..

“Seokjin’s here. Landed in Korea a couple of hours ago. ” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook smiled a bit at that. He loved his older brother, technically a step brother and growing up he had only saw him when he visited his mother in China. That meant a couple of months a year and now as adults, a bit more often because Seokjin loved Jungkook and liked to visit him often.

Seokjin was a celebrity trainer, working with actors and athletes and he did a good amount of modeling as well. He was rich, handsome and well liked and the only thing that gave away the Jeon blood in him was the fact that he was a sexual sadist.

The face of an angel with a devilish streak, he had a penchant for sadism and inflicting pain on his partners and while Jungkook didn’t particularly enjoy indulging him, he knew there were women who were into that and usually had them arranged for when Seokjin dropped by in Korea. His hyung’s visit seldom lasted more than a few weeks at a time and it was a pity that he would miss out one whole week of it .

But the issue in Switzerland was a little pressing and Jungkook had to be there in person to sort it out.

He leaned back against the seat, staring out of the window, sighing.

“An unsullied dove ….What the fuck is this shit..” Yoongi muttered and Jungkook turned, curious.

“What?”

“Hoseok’s been hyping up some new girl for the auction and Seokjin hyung’s bidding on her.”

Jungkook laughed at that.

“Jungkook…..” Yoongi’s voice is completely stunned, his eyes confused as he looks up at Jungkook.” Its Elena.”

Jungkook’s thought process came to a grinding halt.

There’s a sound between his ears, a dull rushing sound like the wind in a storm and he can’t quite comprehend what he just heard. Even Namjoon who had been buried in his laptop , looked up then, tugging an airpod out of his ear.

“Wait…did you say Elena?” His eyes were wide , lips parted in shock. Yoongi and Namjoon exchanged glances, no doubt bracing themselves for the explosion that was to follow.

Jungkook took a deep breath.

“Turn the fucking plane around.”

That jolted Namjoon out of his stunned stupor..

“Turn-? Jungkook what…. We’re on a fourteen hour flight-“ Namjoon began but the look on Jungkook’s face made him stop.

“DID I FUCKING STUTTER?”

Namjoon swore.

“Fucking hell… alright just calm the fuck down, Jesus…just put a fucking bullet in that girl’s head and spare us all the headache fuck…” He growled, unbuckling his seat belt and rushing to the cockpit and Yoongi groaned.

“ Let me guess you want me to get in touch with someone in Seoul and ask Hoseok to hold off on letting Seokjin near her…”

Jungkook glared at him.

“If you already know that why the fuck are you still here…” He growled and Yoongi gave him a look.

“Just tell her you’re in love with her and let us live, Jeon Jungkook.”

In love….. what the fuck….

He glared at Yoongi’s back, his asinine words making him madder. God he wanted to crush someone’s skull into dust with his bare hands.

And right now, in his head , that skull belonged to Jung fucking Hoseok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What just happened?” I asked, frantic staring at the door as Hoseok’s men casually led a fuming Seokjin away while the man himself stared at me, looking pale as parchment.

“ Jungkook found out.” He said shortly and I felt my heart drop although I was half relieved because there had been something insane in Kim Seokjin’s gaze when he’d reached for me , a cruel glint of hunger that told me he would have hurt me really badly if Hoseok hadn’t barged into the room , frantic and worried.

He had given Seokjin a wide smile and then, “ I’m so sorry. We were waiting on her blood results and turns out she has a…. well, certain occupational disease that is very infectious.”

Seokjin’s mouth had dropped open even wider than mine.

“I thought she was a fucking virgin.” He had snapped, and I flinched at how cold and furious he had sounded.

But apparently there was a reason this whole thing had happened.

“What do you mean Jungkook knows? What does that mean?” I asked frantically, fear taking over.

“ He’s heading back here… He wants to see you.”

I felt my entire body go ice cold as I shook my head…

“No…fucking no bring Seokjin back here , he can fuck me that was the fucking deal, Hobi, please don’t../…”

“Elena , I’m so fucking sorry.. Seokjin…he’s fucked in the head…. He likes hurting his whores, likes making them bleed and he would have fucking destroyed you…”

I gaped at him horrified.

“What?!” I hissed shaking my head in disbelief.

“He’s Jungkook’ stepbrother. I’ve arranged whores for him before, I knew he was a little crazy but I’d never seen him before and I didn’t know he was the Kim Seokjin…fuck he outbid everyone and fucker looks like a fucking angel, how the fuck was I supposed to know he’s unhinged? Thankfully, I messaged Yoongi and …. Fuck… Listen… I know I paid for your sister’s surgery but you’re going to have to pay me back….”

I felt my body convulse in rebellion.

“I can’t.. You know I fucking can’t…”

“I can’t make an enemy out of Jungkook…. I can’t.” Hoseok shook his head. “ You can get out of here now if you want but I’d advise you to stay. If you run it’s only going to make Jungkook angrier.”

“WHAT DID I FUCKING DO TO HIM?!!!” I screamed, feeling my composure crumble into smithereens. “WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT FROM ME?!!”

Hoseok flinched, stepping back and holding his hands up.

“Whether I want to or not, I answer to Jungkook. I shouldn’t have done this in the first place , I’m sorry Elena.” He shook his head and stepped back like the coward that he was and I wanted to hurt him. To shake him and ask him to fucking remember who I was. That I had nothing to do with my father’s sins . That I had been a fucking marionette in his hands, had wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

I stared at him in disbelief.

“So much for being a friend…” I whispered.

His jaw tightened. But he didn’t look guilty. None of them ever did. It was like guilt didn’t exist in their world. They did what they wanted to whoever they wanted , whenever they wanted and they got away with it because that bastard’s word was law. What Jeon Jungkook wanted, he got.

“I’ll get your clothes sent in.”

I watched him leave, the door slamming shut behind him and sagged against the bed, staring at myself. What had just happened?

Was I born to endless misery and misfortune?

Couldn’t I catch a fucking break?

I’d agreed to sell myself hadn’t I? Would have even let Seokjin hurt me if that was what he wanted. Because it was one night. It was one night of this…whatever the hell this was and then freedom. That was the deal.

The door opened again and I stared as a young girl brought me a pile of my clothes neatly folded.

“Do you work here?” I said sharply.

She blinked before bowing her head.

“Yes, mistress.”

I scoffed.

“Don’t call me mistress , I’m here to get fucked, just like you. Tell me does Jungkook ever use the women here.” I demanded.

She looked trapped, glancing at the door, clearly wanting to run .

“Tell me.” I snapped and she flinched.

“I..uh..yes. Sometimes.” She said softly.

“Can you tell whoever fucks him next to kick him in the fucking balls?”

The girl bowed deeply and all but ran out and I sighed, feeling myself shaking. Jungkook was on the way here and I wanted to yell and scream and rave at him but I knew that was exactly what he wanted. I wanted to deny him the satisfaction …wanted to act all cool and composed in front of him but it was impossible…

Because I hadn’t realized just how tired I was of this whole thing, till right this moment, when the end had been in sight. I was supposed to get my two billion won pay off all the debt , give Jisoo the rest of the money and disappear. I was so tired, so tired of this life I’d gotten trapped into, slaving over for hours on end just to afford a couple of meals a day. No friends, no boyfriends, no hope of a future …..

The door banged open and I jumped, crawling back when I recognized the man who had just entered.

“Yoongi-“

“Jungkook wants to see you.” He ground out and I swallowed.

“I need to get dressed. Please just wait outside.” I said shakily.

And then the door opened further and a tall looming shadow stepped in familiar and vomit inducing.

Jungkook looked livid, piercing glinting through the dimply lit room and I stared at him. He was dressed in a tight black t shirt, he sleeves stretched thin over his biceps and the tattoos stark against his skin.

“Leave us.” He said softly and Yoongi moved away to the door leaving me alone with the devil himself. I cursed myself for not putting at least my panties on, I was naked underneath this shirt and although it was big it left nothing to the imagination.

Jungkook’s eyes raked over my form before resting on my face.

“You think you’re smart enough to outsmart me, Elena?” He whispered softly.

I swallowed.

“Send you brother back in. He can fuck me and I’ll pay you back.”

Jungkook hummed, stepping closer and grabbing my clothes from the bed, he grabbed the plain white bra and the pastel pink underwear and then to my complete and utter mortification he brought the clothing up to his face, breathing in .

“Fucking pervert!!!” I screamed, feeling the action like a physical touch and wanting to claw his eyes out and the smirk on his face told me that this was exactly what he wanted but I was too fucking gone to care.

“If you want me to be a whore, fine. I’ll be a whore. But on my terms…” I spat out and he shook his head, laughing.

“I don’t just want you to be a whore, Elena. I want everyone to know that you are one…” He dropped my clothes and moved closer, holding a hand out. “ Come here.”

I stared at the inked fingers, adorned with sterling silver rings and bracelets with the motifs of his gang. I shook my head.

“No. I’m not playing this game with you.” I turned my face away.

His hand shot out gripping my upper arm with enough strength to bruise and I screamed, agony shooting up my arm and shoulders as he dragged me off the bed and onto the floor. I landed hard, hips and elbows bruising from impact and I stared at him in disbelief.

“I’ve been to gentle with you. You’ve forgotten your fucking place.” He bent over and grabbed me by my hair, yanking me to my feet so hard that it felt like my scalp had been ripped away from my skull.

“Okay…okay…Okay Jungkook..just…!!” I said softly, flinching because my pain tolerance was almost zero and Jungkook’s grip was so hard that my eyes were beginning to water now. He let me go, grabbing my panties off the floor and tossing them at me.

“I’m going to count to five. Put those on and get out.”

He walked out of the door and I stumbled a little fumbling with the fabric before quickly, slipping my legs in and yanking it up to my waist. I made to put on something else but his voice came, loud and impatient.

“Get the fuck out here.”

I walked out of the door and he was standing there next to Hoseok. I couldn’t meet either of their gazes , hating how they had so much power over my life. I stared at the floor. It was tempting to yell at them and scream but that never led anywhere.

“ I’ve asked them to stop the payment on the Hospital bill. Seeing as Elena hasn’t kept her end of the bargain.”

I felt my breath hitch at that, willing down the tears as I glared at him.

“What do you want?” I snapped. “ Tell me who you want me to fuck…. I’ll do it. Let’s get this over with so you can go back to whatever sewer you fucking climbed out of. ….”

Hoseok’s breath caught like he couldn’t believe what I’d just said and the look in his eye was a warning but I was sick of this. Sick of them all.

Jungkook turned to Hoseok with a laugh.

“You see hyung? See why I can’t let her go? If I let her scot free, everyone’s going to think I’m a pushover….that any worthless bitch can talk to me any way she wants and get away with it….” He shook his head, staring at me with a glint in his eye. “ I’m not going to choose. They are. You think you can charm your way into Hoseok’s heart and get special treatment? You think you’re ready to be a whore, Elena? Let me show you how a real whore gets treated in Hoseok’s club.”

He gripped my wrist, yanking me behind him as he stalked off down the narrow corridor that opened up into the club. I let myself get dragged out into the club dismally aware of the fact that I was wearing nothing but Hoseok’s shirt. I could feel eyes on me but I kept mine on the back of Jungkook’s head as he dragged me all the way to the front. I knew what he was going to do and at this point I was just numb.

There was no point reasoning with the devil.

I glared at him as he pointed at the stage. “ Get up there.” He whispered harshly.

I stared back at him, not moving. I saw Jungkook’s jaw clench.

“Either you go up there by yourself, with your clothes on. Or I carry you up there, after stripping you naked. What’s it going to be? ”

I glared at him, pursing my lips before climbing up using the small stair in the side. I moved to the center, right in front of the stage lights, so the rest of the room would disappear. I had no wish to see any of the bastards in the room.

“I think all of you recognize this little beauty here, don’t you?” Jungkook’s voice was cheerful, friendly even and I bit my lips, fists clenched. “ Well, if you don’t let me tell you . This is Gong Hyo Suk’s daughter. Remember that bastard? He put a hit out on my father. Killed him and my mom on the night I was supposed to be marrying his fucking daughter. A daughter who later called off the wedding, because I was too poor now, to give her the life she deserved. ”

I felt the familiar ice cold guilt in my vein. I was seventeen, I wanted to scream. I was seventeen and all I did was say what my father asked me to say, do what my father asked me to do.

“ That was nine fucking years ago… and you know what I told myself…. I told myself, that a greedy little bitch like this, doesn’t deserve shit.” He laughed. “ If money’s what she values the most, then the only thing she deserves is to be treated like the whore she is.”

“Why don’t you guys tell me, how much money you’d be willing to spend, to fuck her? Come on, Hobi’s been treating you guys so well lets help him make some money tonight… be generous. ”

I could barely hear what they were calling out but when Jungkook climbed onto the stage next to me, I jumped. Moving back instinctively, I winced when brought a forearm around my throat nearly choking me as he dragged up against his body.

“90 million won….That’s a lot.” He grinned. “ Jihan hyung….. that was you right? You’re gonna pay 90 million won for her?”

I felt my heart race, it was a lot. More than enough for the Hospital Bills, would even leave extra to get a decent apartment somewhere... I grabbed his wrist as it pressed into my throat, trying to pull his hand off me but he just wrapped his free hand around my waist, wrapping his entire body around mine and chuckling into my hair.

Jungkook pressed his head against mine and I froze, hating the close contact.

“Okay…but since I’m feeling a bit left out here…Why don’t I pitch in… 500 Won.” Jungkook said loud and clear.

I froze. An eerie silence fell over the club, laughter stilling and the clink of glasses slowing down.

What.

I struggled to get away from his but his hold tightened.

“Anyone else?” He called out. “ Come on… Not even thousand? Surely you think this one here’s worth a thousand won? Aren’t you going to outbid me?”

No one responded of course they didn’t. Jungkook’s anger was palpable and no one was going to get on his wrong side …..

“Ahh… is that it then? Bid’s going to close for 500 won then…. Hear that baby?” He whispered against my ears and I swallowed. “ 90, million won to five hundred won in a few seconds… What does that tell you?”

“It tells me you’re a fucking psychopath in love with your own voice… Get off me.” I hissed.

“No. What it tells you is that only I get to decide how much that body of yours is worth, not you. . You don’t get to go sell your fucking body behind my back for two billion won and then pay off all your debts and ride off into the sunset, that is not how this works….”

I went limp in his arms fighting tears because he never played fair. Never.

“Hear that Hoseok-ah… I win her for the night for 500 won…fair and square…. Is that alright?” He called out into the darkness and I felt the first inkling of dread begin to seep in.

“No.. No… get off me.” I hissed and he laughed, dragging me off the stage with ease. I screamed, kicking out in disbelief.

Jungkook grinned at me, before grabbing both my arms and yanking them behind me, and I whimpered, unable to move as he easily pulled me along to the door that opened into the hallway. Behind us I heard Hoseok’s voice.

“Jungkook, don’t be impulsive. Think about whatever you’re going to do.”

I flinched at that, panic building.

“He’s not going to do anything. I’ll fucking kill him if he touches me , I-“

“Shut the fuck up, you little bitch.” He shook me hard till my teeth rattled and I sobbed out.

“Jungkook…” Hoseok warned but he merely snarled.

“I know what I’m doing hyung, just…. Don’t disturb us. And make sure everyone here knows that she’s open for business.” It was loud enough to carry through the club and I felt humiliation burn my throat, acrid like acid.

I froze in disbelief.

“Jungkook …” Hoseok’s voice held a tone of reproach.

“ And tell them that her body is amazing. Tell them she spent the night with me , the best fuck I’ve ever had , mouth made for cock.”

I stared straight ahead as he pulled me all the way to the room we had left earlier and I tripped when he shoved me inside, landing on my hands and knees . I quickly rolled back around to land on my ass, crawling back as he slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside.

He stared down at me, mouth grim.

“You do owe me a wedding night. I was so ready to fuck your tight cunt, nine years ago… I think I’ve waited long enough yeah.”

I stared at him in disbelief. I knew exactly what he wanted me to do, to yell and scream and protest and fight so he could get off and forcing me…. Fucking psychopath.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

“If you pay for my sister in laws bills, and give me an apartment sure. “ I shrugged. “You’re not any different from any of the bastards here. I don’t give a damn which one of you idiots wants to rut into me like the absolute animal that you are…. I don’t care…” I said softly.

“you don’t? Really? You want me to tell you what your brother said when one of my men put a gun into his mouth…. He begged for his life…said he had a kid on the way….” Jungkook laughed, shaking his head. “I told him it was better than what his father did…. My sister was six months pregnant when his lieutenant gunned her down on the streets.”

I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Why are you telling me this…” I snapped.

“Because she didn’t deserve it did she, Elena? She didn’t fucking deserve to die like that , like a dog on the street when she had nothing to do with any of this…. She didn’t deserve it.” He growled, bending down and gripping my chin hard.

“Maybe she did deserve it.” I spat out. “ If I deserve to be here, maybe your sister deserved to die too. “

He snarled, hand flying to my hair and dragging me up off the floor in one sharp yank. I whimpered as he pushed me on the bed, before climbing on top of me. I felt like every bone in my body was about to snap in two, the weight of him unbearable on me.

“I won the bid tonight…. I won it fair and square… You signed the waiver didn’t you…that you agreed to the auction…I won and I’m going to fucking collect.” He growled, and I kicked out, trying to buck him off of my body.

“Get off me.” I hissed. “ I’m not letting you fuck me for 500 won.”

“How about for your Jisoo then?” He whispered and I went still.

“What?”

He chuckled, reaching down and I felt my pulse pound as he pulled his phone out, dialing quickly and turning on the speakers.

Yoongi’s voice made me go ice cold. Everyone knew what Yoongi did for Jungkook.

“Daehwan’s wife is in a hospital room in Yongsan. Hobi’s got the details. I think she’s served her purpose.”

“No!! JUNGKOOK NO!!” I screamed , thrashing so hard my head began to spin but he grunted pressing down into me harder.

“Are you serious? I’m not home yet… I can take care of it tonight.” Yoongi said, voice casual and I sobbed, shaking my head in sheer terror.

“Okay… I’ll behave.. I promise.. please just don’t…”

Jungkook hummed.

“Well, that was easy… Yoongi-yah… why don’t you stay on the phone yeah…. Going to get that wedding night I’m owed and if my baby doesn’t co operate you know what to do, yeah?”

I bit my lips, glaring into the sheets as he gripped my waist, pulling me up.

“Ass up like the bitch that you are, baby.” He whispered and I felt my entire body shudder in disgust. It was worse because I hadn’t done this before. Didn’t know what to expect. But I couldn’t let him know that. If Jungkook knew that I was a virgin, I could just imagine how much fun he’d have with that info.

Hands gripped my wrists, pinning them to the bed and I turned my face away when I felt the press of his lips on my cheeks. He gripped both my wrists with one hand, keeping them pinned over my head and I flinched when I felt his fingers pulling the fabric of my panties aside, just enough for the blunt head of his cock to press against my slit.

“Yoongi, you there?” Jungkook said softly and Yoongi grunted over the phone. I felt my face flame in embarrassment.

“You’re a sick bastard but I’m used to it. What’s up?” he said casually.

“Remember how we used to wonder just how tight Elena’s cunt was… back when we were in school.”

Fucking monster, I thought in disbelief. I hate him I hate him I hate him….

“Good times…” Yoongi chuckled lightly .

Jungkook pushed into me in one hard thrust and pain shot straight up my spine, my insides burning like he’d fucked me with a knife and not his body. I couldn’t stop the cry of agony that got torn of me, my eyes tearing up and tears spilling over onto my cheeks.

“Damn Jungkook, she okay?” Yoongi’s chuckle made me want to claw his face off, and just the urge to kill was growing inside me.

“Well, I can confirm that it is, in fact just as tight as we thought…” He grunted, thrusting into me at a pace that was inhumane, every push and drag of him rubbing my insides raw and I bit down on the sheets under me, afraid that I would do something absolutely humiliating, like beg him to stop.

“Good, you should let me take that tight ass for a ride someday then. With her permission of course…. I’m a gentleman after all. Big on consent.” He laughed and I swallowed the urge to tell him that I would puncture his balls with a switchblade if he came anywhere near me.

“Oh, she’s going to do whatever I ask her to….aren’t you baby…” He grunted, “ Turn around so I can see you.”

He pulled out of me, his weight lifting off my body as he moved away. I couldn’t move, limbs numb and insides throbbing in pain . His palm landed on my thigh, hard and the sharp sting of it made me jump.

“I said turn around, I want to see your face when I fuck you.” Jungkook growled. I stayed limp, breathing hard and he grunted impatient, fingers sinking into my hair , yanking me to my knees and the movement made my legs scream in protest.

“How’s she so quiet? You fucked the voice out of her, kook-ah?” Yoongi asked amused and Jungkook pulled me by the hair, dragging me to the center and pushing me down till my head landed on the pillow.

“Hyung you should see her right now, all fucked out …. Like she’s never had a dick in her before.” He shook his head, “ Fucking slut. Take that off and hold yourself open for me.”

I stared at him, uncomprehending and he grabbed both my hands, placing them on my knees.

“Grab your knees and pull your legs back… So I can fuck that tight cunt the way I want to.” He said slowly, like I was a dog he was trying to train and I stared at him , defiantly.

“ Go to hell.” I whispered.

Yoongi’s laughter came from somewhere to the right.

“Your dirty talk needs work, Kook ah… Tell her she’s a precious little kitten and she makes you feel really good…. Bitches love that shit…”

Jungkook hovered over me, grabbing the back of my thighs and spreading them wide enough to make me whimper in pain.

“Is that so babygirl? You want me to tell you that? That you make daddy’s cock feel good?” He cooed, nudging the tip against me again and I had never hated anyone so much in my life. I stared up at his face, and he smiled at me, a cheeky little grin that made his bunny teeth stand out and for a second he looked so deceptively angelic and the glimmer of his piercing caught my eye.

I couldn’t help but swallow, gaze trained on the glint of metal on his tongue.

“You like that?” He grinned suddenly, sticking his tongue out for me to see, I felt my eyes widen at how sinfully good he looked .” Hyung she likes my tongue piercing.”

“Show her how it feels on her clit.” Yoongi laughed and I could barely fully process what I heard before Jungkook was crawling down my body, arms, curling on my thighs and yanking me onto his tongue .

I felt the press of his tongue on my slit, licking right into me and the jolt of pleasure was so unexpected, the pleasure so unwanted and yet so overwhelming and I couldn’t stop the way my body thrashed against the streets, lips parted as I practically mewled out in pleasure.

“Definitely a kitten…” Yoongi called out and I shuddered as Jungkook slipped two fingers into me , the ice cold press of his ring inside me making me jump. I wanted to pull away, grab his hair and yank him off but I couldn’t because it was

“Next time I’ll put the dick piercing in too, yeah? Fuck you with a bit of metal on my cock so you can feel that up there…. ” He laughed into my thighs and I screamed when he bit into the flesh there , hard.

“I’m getting bored… Either turn on facetime so I can at least jerk off to this , or I’m hanging up…” Yoongi called out .

“Hyung she clenches down on me every time she hears your voice… Just stay on for a few more minutes yeah, she tastes so fucking good, I’m gonna cum soon….” Jungkook added another finger, slipping in deep before spreading them apart inside me. I whimpered when he pushed his tongue in between the wet digits, licking into my walls and I could feel the ball of his piercing drag against my walls, ice cold and hard.

Was it fucked up that I did clench down on him again, my body apparently a slave to my base desires even as my mind screamed that he was the absolute worst bastard on the face of the planet.

“Elena, you owe me a blowjob at least for this…” Yoongi called out and I glared at the phone.

“I’ll bite your fucking dick off if you come anywhere near me.” I snapped.

“Fuck, I could get off just to that mouthy fuckhole of hers…..” Yoongi grunted.

Jungkook pulled away, climbing back up over me and lightly slapping my breasts.

“Now, how about you open that mouth and let me fuck it?”

Yoongi snorted from behind us and Jungkook glared at the phone before glaring at me again.

“Well?”

“You want to know how hard I can bite?” I said sharply, the pleasure ebbing away into nothing and resentment taking it place, the momentarily physicality of the situation fading and the reminder of who he was and who I was entering my sex addled brain.

“No.. You’re right…. But you know what, I’m not feeling it anymore. I was right.. you really aren’t qualified to be my whore. Your body…it’s frigid like a fucking popsicle…such a fucking turn off. ” He reached over and hung up on the phone.

“Now…”he whispered, leaning in closer and I yelped, when his fingers closed over my throat..” Shut your mouth and take what I give you like a grateful bitch.”

I swallowed when he pushed into me again, his pace steady as he fucked into me, eyes closed and I realized that he was almost fully dressed having just unbuttoned himself enough to get his cock out.

When he stiffened, spilling into me his eyes blew open and he locked eyes with me, wide eyed and for one horrible second he looked young and vulnerable and hurt.

I blinked as he pulled out, the sticky warm mess of his cum dripping down my inner thighs and onto the sheets.

“Well, that was much worse than I thought it would be.” He said and I stayed on the bed as he grabbed his phone and buttoned himself back up.

He smirked at me and then reached into his pocket.

I quickly pulled myself together, ignoring the aches and pains and getting to my knees before reaching for my dress on the bed. it was kind of pointless because I still had Hoseok’s shirt on and I wasn’t going to take that off in front of Jungkook.

“Well, I’m a man of my word , Elena so…here you go..just as we discussed.” He tossed a coin on the bed and I stared at the engraved 500 on the shiny surface, feeling my rage swell inside me.

“If you still want to work out a payment plan for your sister’s bills …. Why don’t you come to my office tomorrow?” He tossed his card on the bed before moving away to the door.

Fucking bastard.

Author’s note : My whole life is filled with regrets .

#jungkook smut #bts smut #ts fics #jungkook fics #bts fanfic #jungkook mafia au #bts mafia au

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iamcalmdammit · 2 years

Text

Separated || [Buck x reader]

(Based on @moonlightholland22's request. I named the kid after CoD's David Mason.)

“David!” you yelled as soon as you noticed your son sitting beside a woman on top of a car. You swam over to them and pulled him into a tight huh as soon as you could. You had been looking for your kids for over two hours by now and it was a relief to find at least one of them. “I'm so happy you're okay, sweetie.” He started crying as he kept hugging you, but you ignored him for a moment while you turned to the woman. “Thank you so much for keeping him safe. Didn't you happen to see three more of him? I can't find his siblings and my husband.”

The woman shook her head in response. Where the hell could they be? You could only hope they were together somewhere safe. It was driving you crazy that all you could do now was sitting there patiently and waiting for help to arrive. That's what Buck would tell you to do, so this is exactly what you did.

An hour or so passed with only your son asking some questions about his siblings and his father, with occasional comments about being hungry. You glanced over at the woman every now and then, but you didn't know if you would start a conversation or if she wanted to process the situation on her own.

Then suddenly she looked at you and asked, “Did you say you have three more kids?” You nodded with a smile. “How old are they?”

“They'll be four in a few months. Quadruplets.”

“That must have been a challenging pregnancy,” she noted with an amused look. “Is your husband helping a lot? I'm sure it's not easy with those kids.”

You nodded as you looked down at David. “Yeah, he does. He loves them more than anything. And that must be because they look and behave exactly like him,” you added with a laugh. “I hope they’ll grow out of it.”

“Did you hear that?” she suddenly asked as she stood up.

With a confused look, you followed her gaze and tried to listen. “Hear what?”

“I think help is coming.”

And sure enough, a few minutes later you didn't only hear, but also saw the boat that was coming your way. The woman started waving to get their attention, while you decided to stay still. It was hard to believe that they found you so fast, yet here they were. You didn't recognize the firefighters who came for you, but didn't matter now.

They took you to safety and let others take you to the hospital for a quick check-up. But it only solved one part of the problem. The rest of your family was missing, and you couldn't calm down until they were somewhere you could see them with your own eyes. You wouldn't even know what to do if—No, no if. They were okay. They had to be.

“David?” you heard a voice ask not far from you.

You turned towards the source of the sound, hoping it would be your husband, but it was Eddie instead. At least you saw a familiar face around—that was a start. Maybe he knew something about the others.

“Hey, have you seen Buck and the kids?” you asked eagerly.

But sadly he shook his head as a response. “Are you two okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah, David is fine according to the doctor.”

“And you?”

“I survived with a few broken ribs, it's okay.” Silence fell between you and you found it weirdly uncomfortable. You needed to talk to someone, anyone and about anything. “Where's the rest of the team?”

“Out there, saving lives. They needed some help here so I stayed,” Eddie explained as he casually reached out to pull back David by the hand before he could run after some other kid. “Look, I'm sure Buck kept looking for the kids until he found them. If they couldn’t give you information about them at the tent, it means they're still out there. Most probably alive.”

“Buck?”

“Yes, I’m sure h—”

But you quickly raised a hand to interrupt him before pointing at the familiar person behind him. “No, that’s Buck over there!” Eddie turned around to see who you were pointing at. “Can you keep an eye on David for a few minutes?”

He nodded and waved you to finally go over to your husband. He didn’t have to say it twice because you pushed through the crowd to get to him as fast as you could. You didn’t even have time to call out for him because he noticed you and ran to you without hesitation to pull you into a hug. Your chest hurt thanks to those broken ribs, but you couldn’t care about that now.

“Where’s David?” he asked when he stepped back to look at you.

“He’s okay, Eddie is keeping an eye on him. And the others?”

“A doctor is checking to see if they are okay, but everything seems fine apart from some cuts and bruises. I just jumped out to check if they knew anything about you out here.” He pulled you back into the hug and rested his chin on top of your head. “I’m so happy you’re okay. It was hard to look for you two and watch the other three at the same time. But you’re here in one piece and this is all that matters. I love you so much.”

You giggled as you buried your head into his chest. “I love you too.”

#evan buckley x reader #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #911 fox #911 fox requests #eddie diaz #i just fell in love with buck again

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thepokyone · 3 years

Text

The Three Words Unsaid

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (ft. Zemo)

Warnings: angst; fluff

Words: 1.05k

A/N: This fic has me feeling some kind of way. It was a request from anon for the five times reader almost confessed their love to bucky and one time they did, so I hope you enjoy!

One

The first time you almost told Bucky you loved him, the two of you were in Wakanda, facing down Thanos' army for the first time. You could feel the nervous energy that hummed off of him; though perhaps the nerves were yours, not knowing who would survive this battle or if there was any chance of winning at all.

"Buck," you said. He had glanced at you, blue eyes as transfixing as they always were, and you felt the words you were going to say die on your tongue. "Good luck," you said instead.

"Good luck," he said in return, and perhaps if you had held his gaze for a moment longer you wouldn't have missed the disappointment that flickered across his face.

As it was, you couldn't bring yourself to say the words. The three little words that would change everything. When you watched him crumble to dust, seconds before you did the same, you wondered if that emotion was what death felt like.

Two

The second time was at the end of the battle, the second one, when it was all over. Five years had passed while you were dust and you wondered if there was even anything left for you outside of Bucky.

Blood dripped down your arm, hot and wet, and you felt dizzy.

"Y/N," Bucky said, his face swimming into your blurring vision. "Y/N, stay with me."

"Bucky, I-" You had to say it, it was so important, but the black that extinguished your vision stole the words from your mouth again. The last thing you registered was Bucky's arms as he scooped you up.

When you woke on a hospital bed in Wakanda, you didn't remember your almost-confession at all.

Three

When Bucky asked you for a favor, you couldn't deny him. Even when that favor was helping him choose out flowers for his date.

Date. The word was bitter on your tongue. But he seemed excited, so you swallowed back your disappointment, the raw ache that seemed to have taken root in your gut.

"What do you think?" Bucky asked, showing you his third attempt at a careful arrangement.

I think you shouldn't go. I love you. Be with me instead.

"They're lovely," you said.

Even after facing Thanos, even after everything, it seemed you were still a coward.

Four

Madripoor.

"Bucky will need to become someone he no longer is," Zemo had said. He caught your frown and there was an awful sort of knowing in his eyes. "It is the only way."

"And me?" you asked.

Zemo had smirked in a way you certainly did not like. "You'll be with me. Come, don't have that look. I am a gentleman."

"Right," you muttered.

You had caught Bucky in the hallway after, before you had to go dress in clothes that were far out of your comfort zone. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'll be fine, Y/N," Bucky promised you, though his smile didn't reach his eyes. "You don't have to worry."

Of course I do, you wanted to say. I love you. That's my job.

"You can always change your mind," is what you said instead.

He reached out to squeeze your hand. "Thanks for looking out for me. It means a lot."

"Of course. Any time." That, at least, was the truth.

Five

Bullets rained on the ground, and Zemo was disappointed. You were certain it was not because Bucky had proved he was not everything Zemo believed he was.

Zemo wanted it to be over. You hated him. But you could not blame him for that. The Dora Milaje left and then it was only you and Bucky, standing before the Sokovian monument that held the names of all the people you and the other Avengers hadn't been able to save.

"You made the right choice," you said, breaking the silence.

"You think so?" Bucky asked, the bulletless gun still tight in his grip.

The wind whispered through your hair. "Yes."

There was a long stretch of silence as you attempted to find the words to express how proud you were of him. Of course the only words you could procure were the ones you could not say.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

"You're a good man, Bucky," you said.

"There are many who would disagree," he said, gesturing plaintively with the empty gun. "Even though I didn't pull the trigger."

You captured the hand holding the gun; he released the weapon willingly, letting you toss it away. "You're a good man, Bucky Barnes. No matter what anyone else might think."

"I'm glad you think so," he said, voice quiet. "Your opinion is important to me."

Your heart ached.

The Truth

"Hey." Bucky's voice always sounded different over the phone. But now it sounded rougher than usual. "Can you come over?"

"Be there in ten," you promised. You knew him well enough to recognize that tone, the one that signified he was crumbling into a spiral of self-loathing.

You let yourself into his apartment when you arrived seven minutes later. Bucky was slumped in his solitary armchair, head in his hands.

"Buck?" you asked gently, dragging over his only dining chair to sit beside him. "What happened?"

He looked up at you, eyes rimmed red, and you felt your heart break. "I told Yori the truth."

"Oh, Bucky," you said, reaching out to take his hands in yours.

"He just asked me to leave," Bucky said dully. "He didn't say anything else. Just asked me to leave."

"You did a brave thing, telling him. He deserved closure. So do you," you said, squeezing his hands.

"I didn't feel brave," he whispered.

You leaned closer, gaze intense. "You are the bravest man I've ever met, Bucky. You deserve to see that. You deserve to be happy."

He huffed out a breath, disbelieving. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I love you." It slipped off your tongue so easily, those words you had been fighting so hard not to say.

"You shouldn't," he said.

Your heart clenched. "But I do. There's very little you can do to change that."

"I don't want to. Maybe that makes me selfish. But I love you, too," he said, leaning forward to capture your lips in his.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine

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tripleaxeldiaz · 3 years

Text

nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

read on ao3

Eddie’s fine. Really. He’s got a fresh scar on his right shoulder, a twin to his other one, and a couple more medical bills to pay off, but other than that, everything is good.

Why shouldn’t it be? Things could be worse — he could’ve lost his arm, could’ve been shot in the spine instead, could’ve not survived the trip to the hospital. But he did — he’s healed, he’s still breathing, and he’s ready to get back to work on Monday, to stop staring at the inside of his house and get back to the life he’d finally started to feel settled in. There’s a twinge in his chest every time he thinks about actually being back out in the field, but it’s just nerves, a small worry at getting back into the swing of things. He knows the team and how well they work together, so he’s sure one rope rescue with Buck is all it’ll take to feel normal again.

He’s fine. Or almost fine. Really, he is. He doesn’t let the tremble in his hands or the ice in his gut tell him otherwise.

~~~~~~~~~~

It doesn’t really register, the first time it happens. There’s a glint of light in his periphery, and for a second, his arms go numb. It’s just a second, though — he sees the flash again, sunlight shining off an axe Ravi is packing onto the truck, and he moves on, doesn’t think about it again.

The next time, the wind whips by his ear a little too fast after a call at the pier, and he turns around so quickly he cracks his neck, the thought of bulletbulletbullet ricocheting in his head. It gets him a concerned look from Bobby and reminds him that he never called that therapist his doctor mentioned at his last visit, but he elects to deal with it later and moves on.

Things keep happening, but they’re all small, insignificant — someone laughing too loudly at dinner, the feel of hot asphalt under his hands as he reaches under the ambulance for a runaway bandage roll, a phantom jolt of pain in his shoulder when someone accidentally jostles him running to the truck.

Tiny things, meaningless, not even worth remembering.

He’ll get used to them, eventually. He’s been healing, isolated from the real world for months now, it’s going to be a bit of a shock to his system and his senses.

He doesn’t call the therapist.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck’s happy. Genuinely happy, in an open, honest way that Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen. His laughs are still loud but they’re freer, unrestrained, and his smile is bright enough to light whatever room he’s in. It makes something sing in Eddie’s chest, especially when all that wattage gets directed at him. If he’s honest, the music’s been there for a while, it just took lying in his own blood, reaching toward the only thing that felt like safety, for him to finally put a name on the song that’s been playing.

Talk about shitty timing.

Because Buck’s with Taylor now, and as much as he still doesn’t care for her, she’s helping with Buck’s new attitude too. He sees the soft smiles that linger after a text from her, and he only gives himself a minute to wish it were for him instead before reminding himself how much of a miracle those smiles are at all.

If he had watched Buck get shot, been splattered with his blood, been soaked with it as he tried to stop it from leaking out of his chest, he’s not sure he would’ve had any kind of happiness to spare.

So he adds this feeling, this particularly green beast twisting in his chest, to the list of things that he’s just going to have to get used to, and moves on. Buck is still in his and Chris’ life, still at their house more than his own, still the center of both of their worlds, and that’s enough.

It has to be.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow, Eddie, you look like shit.”

He glares at Chimney as best he can, but he’s too tired for it to hold any heat. “Good morning to you too, Chim.”

Hen sits next to him at the table where he’s nursing his second mug of coffee of the day, downing the first one before driving Chris to school. She presses the back of her hand to his forehead, and he tries not to melt into the touch too much.

“You don’t feel warm,” she says, “but you look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

He shrugs, staring down at his coffee. “Just haven’t been sleeping well.”

That may be an understatement. Not sleeping well implies sleeping at all, which Eddie’s not sure he’s been able to do in the past few days. It was easy enough when he first got home, still on pain meds that made his eyelids constantly heavy. And when Chris crawled into his bed the night after his sling came off, quiet but sniffling and burrowing into his side, it was a relief to gather him up close, a hand stroking through his hair as they both drifted off, clinging to each other. It was good for both of them, necessary to remind them both that Eddie is still here, but Chris went to his own room on Monday night instead of Eddie’s, and Eddie refused to take that choice away from him.

So he’s been alone, in a too dark room with a too big bed and a too loud brain that only shows him flashes of light and blood and fear whenever he does try to close his eyes.

Just another thing he has to get used to.

He sees Chim and Hen exchange a look and hopes to God they don’t press it. He’s beyond frayed, his state of exhaustion warring with his almost constant state of hypervigilance, and he’s not sure if he’d snap or cry or both if they try to ask him any more questions. Either way, that’s not how he wants them or anyone else to see him, especially not at work. At work, he’s Mr. Cool, always level headed, always in the game, always on top of it. Despite the jumpiness, despite the sense of dread that seems to be a permanent fixture under his skin, he’s been able to keep that attitude going, even getting lost in it sometimes, feeling like the Eddie of four months ago again. If that starts to unravel, who knows what other parts of him will fall apart with it?

Luckily, they seem to get the hint, a pat on the back and a squeeze on the shoulder as they leave the loft to restock the ambulance. But even once they’re gone and he’s alone in the quiet of the loft again, Eddie feels exposed. Fragile. Vulnerable. Teetering on the edge of an abyss he can’t afford to fall into. And he hates it, because this isn’t him. He’s the protector, the provider, the guy who’s survived getting shot twice now, and as much as he encourages Chris to be open and emotional, it still feels wrong to him, like something too close to failure. He knows, rationally, that talking about the mess in his head would probably help, but it would also feel like a loss. Like this one-sided war he’s been fighting was all for nothing.

He hears Buck before he sees him, his unmistakable bounding up the stairs echoing through the whole loft. Just that sound, just the knowledge that Buck is about to be in his vicinity, is enough to yank Eddie back from the edge. He’s not settled or calm or better, but he’s not worse. These days, that’s all he can really ask for.

Buck takes Hen’s vacant seat, stealing a sip of coffee and chattering about a traveling art exhibit he thinks they should take Chris to. Eddie feels the vice on his ribs loosen, letting Buck’s voice and enthusiasm wash over him, pushing him back to center. He doesn’t quite make it, not when Buck stops talking mid-sentence, brow furrowed and looking so intensely at Eddie he can probably see right through him

“You look tired,” Buck says.

Tired isn’t a strong enough word. But he smirks half heartedly instead, willing a little bit of his confidence back to get the subject changed sooner. “And here I thought I looked good today.”

“No, you always—“ Buck clears his throat and shakes his head, “You just look like you could use a nap. Are you okay?”

And for the first time since he woke up in the hospital with a new hole in his body and extra demons in his head, Eddie doesn’t want to say he’s fine. In the face of earnest blue eyes and worry lines, he doesn’t want to lie, and that’s exactly what an I’m fine would be, no matter how much he’s been trying to ignore it. He doesn’t want to downplay and pretend that it’s nothing, because it’s Buck. Buck who has seen him lower than he’s ever let anyone see, who slept on his couch so he was never too far away from him or Chris, who knows when Eddie needs to be pulled or pushed or pressed or none of the above.

He doesn’t want to just say he’s fine, because he’s not.

The courage to say so finally fills him, just in time for Buck’s phone to light up, Taylor’s name flashing across the screen on two messages. Buck doesn’t even glance at his phone before flipping it face down and pushing it to the side, but it’s too late — Eddie feels his walls going back up, any bravery leaving to make room for the reminder that Buck is in a good place and Eddie will do anything to keep him there. He’ll take another bullet, he’ll keep every emotion under lock and key, he’ll carve his own damn heart out of his chest if he has to. He cannot — will not — be the reason that smile that’s become so natural on Buck’s face dims by even a watt.

The crease in between Buck’s brow has only gotten deeper the longer Eddie hasn’t answered, so he musters up the most genuine smile he can. “I’m okay, Buck. I promise.” The lie cuts through his throat like broken glass.

Buck squints at him, scooting forward until his knees are digging into Eddie’s thigh. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

“Of course,” he says, another lie, more salt in the wounds he’s already given himself. Buck’s quiet for a few long moments, studying Eddie’s face, and Eddie prays that he doesn’t crack, that Buck doesn’t keep pressing. By some miracle, he doesn’t, just rests a hand on Eddie’s knee and squeezes before heading to the pantry for a snack.

The vice is back as soon as he’s out of sight, and Eddie’s list of things he has to learn to live with is starting to feel a little too long.

~~~~~~~~~~

Healing isn’t linear. It’s something he’s heard from every doctor he’s seen, every therapist he’s been assigned to, something he’s experienced first hand, physically and emotionally. So when he wakes up one morning feeling rested, energetic, and normal, he’s wary. He doesn’t want to focus on it, afraid he’ll scare this fragile feeling away, but he also wants to soak in it as much as he can. Wants to remember the easy laughs with the team and the night of board games with Chris and Buck when he’s inevitably surrounded by darkness again tomorrow.

He falls asleep and he doesn’t dream and he wakes up and feels...normal. Again. Same thing the morning after, and the morning after that. For a whole week, he doesn’t wake up with the taste of blood in his mouth or a soreness in his shoulder. He hears birds and sees the sun peaking in and feels something dangerously close to good. The wariness is still there, but every day it gets pushed a little farther back in his mind, making it a little easier to believe that while this feeling might not last, maybe it won’t be as dark when the clouds roll back in.

He’s wrong.

The restlessness comes back with a vengeance — a thrumming in his blood that won’t let him sleep, that amplifies every sound to sharp snaps that remind him too much of the gunfire he’s been trying to forget, putting him constantly on edge again. There’s a heaviness too, making it hard to breathe, hard to move, even though staying in one place for too long feels like putting a target on his back for the monsters that have made a home in his head.

He tries to keep his cool, tries to keep the facade up, but it’s hard to keep your balance on a frayed tightrope.

Bobby notices the shift right away.

It doesn’t help that even the quiet thump of the oven closing makes Eddie flinch where he’s sitting at the kitchen counter. He had hoped that watching Bobby make breakfast would calm him, remind him of the countless hours he’s spent in Abuela’s kitchen doing the very same thing, but it doesn’t. He’s still jittery, worse than he can remember being, and everything just feels like too much.

Bobby sets a to-go container down in front of him, and Eddie flinches (and curses himself) again. He looks up, confused, and is met with Bobby’s I’m about to tell you to do something and you are not allowed to say no look. Usually it’s Buck on the receiving end of that one.

He tries for a deflection. “Are we going somewhere, Cap?”

The look stays in place. “We are not. You are. There’s enough in there for you and Chris, take it home and don’t let me see you here for the next 48 hours.”

“There’s still three hours left of shift.”

Bobby pushes the container closer. “Go home, Diaz. Be with your kid. We’ll talk when you get back. And if you won’t talk to me, we’ll find someone you will talk to.”

Normally, he’d fight back. Raise his hackles, insist he doesn’t need any special treatment or intervention. But he feels like his insides have been scooped out and replaced with lead and cement and he’s tired. He barely has enough left in him to keep himself upright.

He slowly picks up the container and gets up to leave. Bobby calls his name as he gets to the top of the stairs.

“We’re here for you,” he says. “You’ve been through too much to be handling this on your own. Just let us know how we can help.”

I would if I could, but I don’t even know where to start.

He just nods, hopes his face looks some degree of reassuring, and heads to the locker room.

~~~~~~~~~~

The way Chris’ face lights up when he sees Eddie waiting for him in the front office is enough to thaw the ice in his chest for a minute. He can hear the exact octave his mother’s voice would reach if she heard about him pulling Chris out of school for “no good reason”, but he also could not give less of a shit.

He feels a little bit more like a person with Chris in the backseat. That’s a good enough reason for him.

They set up camp in the park near their house, Bobby’s food and extra snacks Eddie picked up spread out between them, and Chris fills Eddie in on all the things he missed while he was working. He tries to focus on everything — Chris’ excitement about his upcoming science fair, the Sour Patch Watermelon sugar stuck to the tip of his nose, the way his hands move with his words. Eddie feels better, more settled, just getting to bask in the sun and in Chris like this, but he still feels heavy, like every move he makes has him fighting against gravity, threatening to pull him into the dirt.

There’s a crack from the playground in front of them, and Eddie’s blood turns to ice. He’s halfway to standing before he sees it’s just some kids snapping sticks in half to build some kind of log cabin. He lets out a slow breath as he sits back down and wills his heartbeat back to normal.

Chris is staring at him, eyes intense and brow furrowed, very similar to someone else they know.

Shit.

As soon as he’s settled, Chris moves to sit in the criss-cross of his legs. He’s a little too on the lanky side for this anymore, but Eddie’s absolutely not going to complain. Chris twists until he’s looking Eddie in the eye. Eddie does his best not to look away.

Chris rests a hand on his cheek. “It’s okay if you’re feeling bad,” he says. “You can talk to me about it, if you want.”

The crack comes from Eddie’s own heart this time. His kid has been through so much in 10 short years, and it’s only made him wiser than he should be, compassionate and understanding and open, ready to be there for anyone without a second thought. He’s good in every sense of the word, and Eddie’s in awe of the fact that he, somehow, has something to do with that. And the last thing he wants to do is lie to his son, but he just...can’t. Talk about it. Not now. Not yet. Not in a way that will keep Chris this good.

He has no way of articulating all that, so he just wraps his arms around Chris’ middle and squeezes him close.

“I know, buddy. Thank you. I’ll be okay, and we’ll talk soon.”

It’s not a lie, but it’s not everything.

It seems to be enough for Chris, though. He nods and pats Eddie’s face before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a library book. “Well, I’m gonna read to you until you feel better, just like you do for me.”

It’s the first real smile Eddie’s cracked in months. He kisses the top of Chris’ head, settling his chin there as Chris leans back into his chest.

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

They sit there for a while longer, Chris reads to him about Percy and Annabeth and Grover, and Eddie, inexplicably, feels a little bit lighter.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck’s Jeep is parked outside when they get home, and Chris practically breaks down the door to greet him. It looks like he’s gone all out, too — Chinese food on the table, the promise of cookies and cream ice cream in the fridge, and a list of movies that Chris ecstatically agrees with as Buck lists them off. Chris hurries off to change and clean up for dinner, and Eddie moves to start opening plastic lids and cardboard containers.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” he says. He leaves out just having you with us is enough.

Buck waves him off. “Anything for you two.”

He could leave it at that, keep up the comfortable silence as they move around the kitchen in tandem, but there’s a nagging memory that he has to ask about or he’ll never stop thinking about it.

“Didn’t you have a date with Taylor tonight?”

Buck tenses ever so slightly, a container of dumplings shifting in his hand. “Cancelled,” he says with a shrug.

Eddie knows there’s more, but Chris comes back before he can ask, and it doesn’t feel like a conversation they can have in front of a 10 year old. So they eat, and fall into the familiar banter between the three of them, and for half an hour, Eddie can be present. He can forget the last six months and the weight still hanging off of him and live in this moment, with the two most important people in his life, and pretend that this is all there is. Just these two and their joy and warmth that wraps around him tight enough to make him feel alive again, if only for a little while.

Two bowls of ice cream and one and a half movies later, Chris is dead to the world. Buck carries him to bed and Eddie tries to ignore the new ache that’s sprung up of the course of the evening, the one that wants and pulls towards Buck like a magnet. The one that almost purrs when Buck settles back on the couch so close they’re touching from ankle to (good) shoulder, contentedness washing over the living room as they find a rerun of The Shawshank Redemption playing on cable. It’s not perfect, there’s still a roiling in his blood that won’t seem to leave him alone, but he feels better than he has in God knows when.

Buck shifts closer to Eddie, eyes glowing in the light of the TV, and Eddie never wants him to leave. “Thanks for coming tonight. I— Chris and I both really needed this, I think.”

“I told you, anything for you two. Always.”

He ignores the way his stomach flips and tries to focus on the movie. He gets about five minutes of peace before another thought comes back, still nagging him, mixing with his anxiety enough to actually force him to say something.

He aims for cool and casual. “So, you and Taylor...everything okay?”

Buck gives him a very long, almost challenging look before turning off the TV. Seems he missed that casual mark. “I should be asking you the same thing.” “Very funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. I’m really worried about you, Eds.”

“This isn’t my first time getting shot, I know how to handle it.” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as bitter as it does, but he can’t bring himself to care, either. He doesn’t have the energy to keep a filter up anymore.

“Eddie, I’m serious.”

“I’m fine, Buck,” he says sharply, and he’s surprised his teeth haven’t fallen out of his head yet with how hard he’s lying through them. He hates that he’s lying to Buck at all, but those smiles he’s gotten used to have been fewer and farther between recently, and he knows it’s his fault. He might feel like his own seams are coming apart, but he’ll be damned if he rips Buck open too, even if it means pushing him away from his mess. “You’ve got a life and a girlfriend to worry about, I’ll figure everything out on my own.”

“I don’t.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend. We broke up.”

Eddie pauses, curses the faint hope that sparks in his chest. “Why?”

“Because I’ve been a little distracted by someone else for the past few months. It didn’t feel fair to her to keep it going.”

He gives him another long look, and Eddie might be a little dense when it comes to things like this, but that look breaks through loud and clear. This is it. This is real. This is everything he’s wanted for the past six months — and probably longer than that — but now that it’s happening, it doesn’t feel right. Buck was happy, free, finally settled into his own skin, and it’s all gone now because of Eddie and his stupid, broken everything. He knows he won’t be able to give Buck everything he needs, at least right now, but Buck needs to know that too. “Buck—”

“Nope,” he says with a firm shake of his head. “I know you’re gonna try and blame yourself for this somehow, but…don’t. It was bound to happen anyway. Because you’re right, I do have a life, but it’s you two. You and Chris. That’s all I need it to be. That’s all I want it to be. And I hate that it took so long for me to figure out, that it took you getting shot, but we’re here now.” His eyes shutter a bit as he looks down at his hands. “At least, I hope we are.”

And there it is. So simple, so easy, for Buck to admit this huge thing that Eddie thought he was dancing around on his own. The ease reminds Eddie, through his fog of sadness and anger and every other bleak feeling that’s been controlling him, that that’s what makes them work so well together. Honesty. Being able to show all their ugly, mismatched inside parts to each other and still find the beauty, the ways to help, the ways to hold each other together when they need it the most.

And Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever needed to be held together more than he does right now.

“Ask me,” he whispers, the sound seeming to echo around the room.

“Ask you what?”

“Ask me if I’m okay.”

Buck shuffles on the couch until they’re facing each other, takes both of Eddie’s hands in his.

“Eddie,” he says softly, “are you okay?”

The world blurs as the tears he’s been fighting finally break free, but he feels strong. Brave. Like he can do anything now that Buck’s holding his hand.

“No,” he says, a crack in his voice but the conviction behind it still firm. “No, I’m not okay.”

The floodgates open, and he lets everything wash over him, all the things he’s been holding back, forcing away in the hopes that they’d just disappear one day. He’s floating and sinking and lost in the waves of it all, but strong arms wrap around him and pull him close, and there’s relief. Not a lot, not enough, but it’s there, for the first time since he woke up in the hospital. He feels safe here, with Buck wiping away his tears and pressing kisses along his hairline. He honestly forgot what safety felt like, was sure he’d never feel anything like it again. But he knew it that day he was bleeding out on the street, and he knows it now — it feels like Buck’s sweatshirt and smells like his aftershave and sounds like whispers of it’s okay and I’ve got you.

It all subsides, eventually, but Buck still holds him close, presses their foreheads together so there’s nothing else Eddie can focus on. His eyes are piercing, bright like Eddie only usually sees when Buck has a plan that refuses to be derailed.

“Let me help, Eddie,” he says, punctuated with a kiss on Eddie’s cheek. “I know you think you can do this yourself, but you don’t have to. I don’t want you to. Let me help you carry it.”

His voice left with the rush of everything, so all Eddie can do is nod before sinking back into Buck, into relief. Even that simple motion, the silent acknowledgement that he’s not alone anymore, is enough to let small seeds of hope sink into him and take root. They’re still weak, still unfamiliar, but they’re here, waiting to grow.

And Eddie knows, with a certainty that he forgot he was capable of, that Buck will be here to help tend to them, no matter how long it takes for them to blossom.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Eddie wakes up the next morning, he still feels weighed down. There’s still an edge, an unease low in his gut, anxiety still crawling through his veins.

He’s not okay. But he looks over and sees Buck — breathing even, arm thrown over Eddie’s stomach, keeping him close — and the ever-present darkness fades from an angry black to melancholy grey. Not perfect, not even close, but better.

He’s not okay. He hasn’t been for a while. But now, finally, he feels like he will be.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #911 fox #buddie fic #911 fic #tim i know you read fanfic you can HAVE this one so we can get a recovery arc #i don't even need credit just DO IT #ficcery

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itsapeterthing · 3 years

Text

Secrets (Five) || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: as time goes on at the compound, you begin to come to terms with your new abilities and your relationship with your husband, bucky

a/n: i'm so sorry for the delay, but i hope you enjoy!!

word count: 2.5k

warnings: pregnancy if you squint

Prologue, One, Two, Three, Four

masterlist || request || taglist

"You might have to get a matching set of earrings, but I don’t think it’s too shabby.” Nat said, leaning back in her seat.

Playing with the newly gifted bracelet on your wrist, you chuckled.

“I guess it could be worse.” You joked. “And this is supposed to stop me from... you know... turning the whole room to ice?”

“Not stop-” Bruce corrected you. “Control. We’re never going to be able to... reverse... what happened, but at least this will help you control it.”

Nodding your head along with what he was saying, your eyes strayed from your wrist to your husband standing against the far wall of the lab, his arms crossed and eyes focused on you.

The two of you hadn’t spoken to each other since the first day you had woken up from being captured and he had held you in his arms. You were still struggling with coming to terms with who your husband was and even who you were. Knowing you needed your space, he had respected your wishes, keeping a painful distance from you for the past three days since you had woken up in the icy room of the Compound.

His eyes snapping away from yours, they landed on an article of clothing laying on one of the countertops in the lab.

“What’s that?” He asked, speaking up for the first time that day.

You, Bruce, Nat and Sam glanced at one another before your eyes landed on the suit on the table. Crossing your arms, you focused your attention at the ground.

“A suit.” Bruce clarified.

“Yeah, no shit.” Bucky said, picking up the cloth. “For who?”

“For me.” You said, speaking up, still not meeting your husband’s eyes.

An awkward silence hung in the room for a brief moment after your confession, before Bucky found his voice again.

“Can I talk to you outside?” He asked, pushing open the doors of the lab.

Nodding, you said nothing before following close behind your husband into the hallway of the Compound. When situated outside, you looked up at him.

“What?” You asked.

“What?” He repeated. “Don’t ‘what’ me, Y/n. Since when did you start having them make you a suit? I thought once this was all over you wanted to go home.”

Rolling your eyes, you crossed your arms.

“I never said that.” You said. “You just assumed that. I mean, what do you want me to do, Buck? I have abilities that other people don’t have. I can’t just go home after this and pretend like this isn’t a part of me anymore- like this never happened. I have these abilities and I should use them for good. I have to. You don't have to worry about me. I made this choice for myself.”

Staring at the resolve written all over your face, Bucky laced his fingers into his hair, tugging the short strands.

He understood what you were saying. He understood that you felt a responsibility to do good, but he thought of himself too- how he fell into the position he was in now.

He didn’t make the choice to be an Avenger. The choice had been made for him the moment he fell from that train and was taken into the hands of Hydra. He wanted better for you than a life you hadn’t chosen. He wanted better for you than a life where you were constantly risking your life and wondering if you would live to see another day.

He wanted more for himself than losing the love of his life because of a sense of duty.

“You don’t choose to go into stuff like this, Y/n.” Bucky said, unlacing his fingers from his hair and throwing his arms in the air. “You’re forced. You can still get out of this, doll. Don’t stay because you feel like you have to- you don’t owe anybody anything. You have the choice to go home and forget about all this and that’s what most people like me wish for.”

“Fine, you know what?” You said, throwing your hands up in the air. “You’re right. I don’t have a choice. I was forced into this shit because I didn’t know who I married and some guy tried to kill me because of it. Don’t stand there and act like you know what’s good for me when you’re the whole reason I’m in this mess.”

Slipping the bracelet off of your wrist, you held it between your fingers and watched as the floor below you began to turn to ice at your feet and frost started to coat the bracelet in your hand.

“Look at this, Buck.” You said, waving the bracelet. “Look at this! You think I can just go home and pretend like I wouldn’t turn you into a fucking popsicle if this was off for more than two minutes? I can’t pretend like this isn’t happening to me and if I have the chance to do something good with it then I will.”

Watching Bucky’s eyes soften as he stared at you, you slipped the bracelet back onto your wrist, the ice melting away with it. Shaking his head, you watched as the angry demeanor that he had been portraying seconds ago faded away as his shoulders relaxed and his hands went still at his sides.

“I just want what’s best for you.”

The way his voice cracked as the words slipped out of his mouth and he could barely meet your eyes made your heart tug in your chest. You knew he didn’t mean you any harm. You knew even after everything that he was just looking out for you, but you also knew that he had a clouded sense of what was right and wrong for you.

Relaxing your shoulders, you slowly walked over to your husband, resting your hand on his bicep.

“I know that, Buck.” You said softly, urging him to meet your eyes. “But when are you going to realize that you don’t know what that is?”

Looking into the room through the window of the door, you fiddled with the bracelet on your wrist, all the thoughts of what could go wrong running through your mind. Feeling the cold touch of vibranium wrap around your wrist, you stopped your fidgeting.

“Stop worrying, Y/n.” Bucky said from beside you. “Everything is gonna be fine.”

“What? I’m not worried.” You lied.

“You’re joking, right?” He asked, a hint of a smile gracing his face and what you would even call a chuckle slipping from his mouth. “At our wedding you twisted your engagement ring the whole time and remember when you took those pregnancy tests for Grant? You spent the whole time messing with that stupid bracelet on your wrist I was worried your skin was gonna turn red. Even that little- God what is it called? That thing Becca made for Mother’s Day last year?”

“Are you talking about that macaroni necklace?” You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes!” Bucky exclaimed, snapping his fingers when you finally said the name. “That thing. You were messing with that thing so much that when you saw me hit my head on the cabinet door you snapped the pasta right in your hand.”

You knew exactly what he was talking about.

Your kitchen sink had stopped working properly that day and rather than call an actual plumber, your husband had insisted that he knew what he was doing and he would be able to fix it just fine. You watched as he worked, his head inside the cabinet as you leaned against the countertop fiddling with your newly gifted necklace from your daughter around your neck.

When water began to shoot out of the pipe, your husband cursing as water blasted his face, he attempted to pull away, knocking his head on the doorframe on the way out. As soon as you heard his shout, you felt the piece of macaroni shatter in your fist as you squeezed it tightly.

“Oh God, Buck are you okay?” You asked.

“God damn it!” He cursed again. “This hurts like shit.”

“Are you bleeding?” You asked, now standing in the puddle of water that coated the floor.

Pulling his hand away from the spot on his head that he had just hit and not seeing any blood, he shook his head.

Breathing a sigh of relief knowing that you wouldn’t have to be making a trip to the hospital that day, you took in the scene around you as the water continued to spray out of the pipe flooding the floor of your kitchen.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?” He asked looking up at you, you just now noticing the droplets of water coating his eyelashes and face.

“Can we call a plumber now?”

Looking around him and the puddle of water he was sitting in, he sighed, giving in.

“Yes, doll.”

“You know, it’s kind of funny thinking about it now.” You chuckled to yourself. “I was worried about you hitting your head on a cabinet and you’ve survived shit that only happens in movies.”

As Bucky laughed along with what you had just said, you stared up at your husband, catching the smile that had crossed his face for the first time in a week, noticing now the dark circles under his eyes and the scruff that hadn’t been shaved in days. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept since the last time you laid in bed beside him. You hadn’t checked the mirror yet, but you could guess that you didn’t look much different.

“I guess I am kind of worried.” You confessed.

“I know, but there’s nothing to worry about. I promise.”

For the first time since you had found out about his double life, you trusted in what he said.

When you nodded your head you felt as his hand brushed along your back, resting in the curvature of your spine. With his free hand, he slowly opened the door of the room, revealing your son and Sam on the other side.

Upon hearing the door open, your son’s head darted from the table he was sitting at towards where you were standing in the doorway. As soon as his eyes landed on you, you watched as he pushed himself away from the table, the metal chair he was sitting on scraping against the floor, practically toppling over as he hopped out of it and ran into your arms.

“Oof!” You grunted as his arms wrapped around you, his face digging into your stomach. “Miss me?”

He nodded against your stomach.

“You have a great kid.” Sam said, sitting in his spot at the table your son had just been at, coffee in hand. “Your daughter too, but this one gives me a kick.”

“Yeah?” You asked chuckling and as soon as you did your son pulled away from your embrace.

“I was so scared ‘cause I thought that those guys killed you, but then Dad came back with Captain America and Black Widow and then we came here and-” Your son began rambling, throwing his arms in the air wildly. “And then yesterday Captain America let me fly-”

“You took my son flying?” Bucky asked Sam beside you.

“Depends on what you consider flying.” Sam shrugged taking another sip of coffee.

“-and then I got to play with the shield and it’s so cool, Mom!” Grant finished saying, catching his breath.

“Wow buddy that sounds... dangerous.” You said eyeing Sam while ruffling your son’s hair. “But I’m glad you had fun!”

Just then you heard the door on the far side of the room open, Natasha emerging with your daughter in her arms. The first to move was Bucky making his way over to Natasha, taking his girl into his arms and bringing her over to you.

“Hi sleepy girl.” You cooed, reaching out for your daughter who had clearly just woken up from a nap.

When your hands met her skin, however, she quickly pulled way from your touch, curling more into her father’s chest.

“Your hands are too cold, Mommy.”

Practically feeling your heart shatter in your chest, you looked up to meet Bucky’s eyes just as downcast as yours. Pulling yourself away from your daughter, you clasped your hands together, biting back the pain that you felt from her rejection.

Noticing how you began backing away, Bucky frantically took his daughter’s hand in his vibranium one, staring down at her.

“C’mon your mom’s hands aren’t that cold, right?” He asked. “What about mine. You always say my metal one is cold, right bug?”

Resting her head against his chest, she shook her head.

“Buck, it’s fine. She's right.” You eased, backing away from everyone towards the door. “Does anybody else feel hot in here? It’s really hot. I think I’m just gonna take a breather outside-”

“Y/n-” Bucky called.

“It’s okay, I’m just gonna slip outside real quick.”You said, pulling on the handle of the door and swinging it open. “I’ll be right back.”

Before anybody could protest further, you stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind you. As you walked down the hallway, you were realizing for the first time that you didn’t recognize this place and you didn’t know where you were going. The more you thought about it, you barely recognized anything anymore and you didn’t know where you were going to go from where you were right now.

How did you end up here? How did you go from having some guy across the bar from you catch your eye to pacing down the hallways of the Avengers Compound, ice flowing through your veins? Frustrated, tired and confused, you felt a sob you didn’t even realize was there catch in your throat. Throwing your hand to your mouth, you leaned against the hallway wall, feeling tears begin to fog your vision.

“Y/n?” Bucky called, following you down the hallway. “You know Becca’s weird like that sometimes. She just woke up and was tired and cranky-”

“James, it’s fine.” You said.

After a brief pause, you heard his voice again, the tone more shaky than the last.

“Y/n...”

“Buck I said-”

“Y/n watch out!” He shouted.

Shooting away from the wall, your head darted to the big windows at the end of the hall, an unfamiliar object coming straight towards them from the outside.

Before you could even have time to discern what was happening, you watched as the glass of the large windows shattered across the hallway and heard them hit the floor, small bits nicking your skin along the way. You listened as loud beeps emitted from the device, growing quicker by the second.

Snapping your attention back to Bucky, both of your eyes wide, the last thing you recalled was the feeling of his hands securing the back of your head and your lower back as you fell to the ground.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #Bucky Barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #Bucky Barnes imagine #Bucky Barnes angst #bucky barnes series

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