#you would not believe how long I thought about all the middling interest characters

[krakenattack]

A Finalized List of FFVIII Remake, In Order of Who Wants to Get Into Cloud's Pants, Least to Greatest

Okay, I have finally finished my first ever Final Fantasy game and thankfully, or not, the most horny parts of the game seem to be at the beginning and a bit at the end. The story definitely does take over and we meet a whole slew of characters disinterested in what Cloud's got in his cargo pants. But I swore, to the audience in my head if nothing else, that I'd post a finalized list once I finished the game. So, first things first: Scarlett, Palmer, Reeve, Zack - Disqualified. They either don't meet Cloud, have 30 seconds of dialogue, or both. Maybe if they get more of a personality than a sheet of paper. And now, on to the list!

Cloud - Vehemently disinterested. By far, of all the people most interested in having sex with Cloud, Cloud is the least interested in it. He doesn't register anything but the most blatant sexual interest, and even that with only mild annoyance. I refer to him affectionately as a traumasack, because this boy has so much PTSD he barely registers he has a dick, much less any fun potential applications of it. This, of course, makes the rest of this list very funny, very sad, or both.

Madam M - Violently disinterested. She's a professional implied sex worker, and she's seen Cloud's type before. She's not wasting her status as 'Madam M' by not being able to be very picky about her sexual partners, and Cloud doesn't even hit one of her criteria. Hard pass, even with his prettiness.

Red XIII - Strongly disinterested. He just got out of lab where he's been presumably tortured and experimented on by Hojo. He also has PTSD out the wazoo. Also probably uninterested in humans? Idk, he's only in the last act.

Hojo - One, I truly don't believe Hojo has any interest in sex with other people, he's too interested in his experiments. Maaaaaaybe with a clone of himself, but I doubt it. Second, I Cannot Live In A World Where Hojo Fucks. Gods all preserve me from that.

Chadley - Disinterested. Honestly, has probably never even crossed his mind. I almost forgot him from this list because it was so perfectly obvious to me that Chadley simply doesn't look at Cloud like that. I *did* forget him from the first list. Whoops. Sorry, Chadley, you're an innocent cinnamon roll.

Barrett - Still disinterested. Doesn't hate Cloud anymore, but he's still, uh, very fanatical. Not entirely focused on his ecoterrorism, but enough that Cloud doesn't ping him in any way.

Rude - Disinterested. Very professional, but I saw the way he jerked the controls away to avoid shooting Tifa. Man's got a crush, and I can't blame him. Also, one of the few who fought Cloud one on one and didn't flirt with him. Man's probably straight.

Aerith - Still politely disinterested. Can confirm she does like some boys, since she had a mystery boyfriend that Cloud had some sort of trauma memory attack about, so she's not a lesbian like I originally thought. Definitely bi though. Still, views Cloud like a therapy project that she knows someone should do something about, but she doesn't have the time for.

President of Shinra - Mostly disinterested, but if it got him something he really wanted or was critical in his weird paradise plan, might do it.

Chocobo Sam - mostly disinterested, but in the right circumstances, round a campfire at night, after a hard day on the range, just the two of them, when a man gets to feeling lonely, then possibly.

Biggs - mostly disinterested, except in the very drunk bro one night stand described before

Leslie - mostly disinterested, he's still got a lot of grief going on, so he's not interested by himself, but if his boyfriend Andrea Rhodea asked, he'd be down.

Reno - disinterested, but could be persuaded. Hasn't had a lot of scenes with Cloud but was a bit flirty in their fight and seems like the kind of guy who'd be down for maybe some casual sex.

Tseng - perfectly balanced. He is neither interested nor disinterested. He is perfectly professional, and his actual interests and disinterests are a mystery to everyone. Tbh, he's only on this list because he did speak to Cloud once in game and he has more than 30 seconds of dialogue.

Don Corneo - *sigh* much like me, reluctantly putting him on this list, Don Corneo is reluctantly interested in Cloud. He picked Cloud in drag over the other two women, enjoyed Cloud's complete disdain in the seduction scene and only lost interest when Cloud changed back into his usual clothes. Would he still be interested in Cloud out of dress? Would he have Cloud dress as a woman to pretend he was still a hetero? I do not know and I do not care to find out. I accept that Don Corneo does canonically fuck, but I do not want to think about it. Gross.

Heidigger - interested but only in a deeply fucked up way. Like, public humiliation, fucked up power fantasy over Cloud way. He wouldn't act on it unless he had a wide open opportunity, though. Ugh.

Johnny - would never act on it, but if Cloud pointed at him and told him to come here, now, Johnny would snap to.

Marle - not very interested, but Cloud's an attractive young man and she's old, not dead. Probably wouldn't act on it, she likes Tifa a lot and Tifa is clearly interested.

Wedge - interested enough that Barrett wingmans for him! Wedge is still a beautiful mystery to me, his scenes drop off drastically in the mid to end game. But Barrett awkwardly tells Cloud that Wedge 'really likes [Cloud], you know?', so he gets to stay up this high.

Rufus - reasonably interested. He'd be down for a fuck, see where it leads. Could be the start of a beautiful rivalmance, but he's not Roche(read: insane); he wants to see if they're compatible first

Jessie - in love with the idea of it. The bubbly and quirky activist with her broody ex-SOLDIER boyfriend who only shows his soft spots for her!! It's the stuff movies or plays are made out of, and Jessie plays her part to a T. Honestly, Jessie's character fascinates me, but that's for a different post. Suffice to say she's in love with Cloud the way an actress can be in love with a character. It's definitely real; in the moment.

Andrea Rhodea - interested. He'd love to have Cloud as a casual boyfriend. Not super interested in fixing Cloud's multitude of hangups, but would be respectful of boundaries at least. Would be upfront about his wants, ie lots of sex and sometimes dressing up and going on dates to events, sometimes with Leslie, sometimes without. (Leslie is also a casual boyfriend)

Tifa - okay hear me out. She's interested, but she's not as desperately interested as I thought she was. She does want to help fix Cloud, but her 'desperate lovestruck childhood friend' vibes dropped way off after the early game. I actually debated putting her fourth but decided that if all the crazy plot shit wasn't happening she'd definitely still be angling for a date. I no longer think she believes the love of a good woman will save him, I think she's just as interested as any reasonable, sane person could be in the currently burning trashfire like Cloud currently is.

Roche - burning hatemance across the world. Roche is uh, how you say, mentally unstable, and definitely fell in love with Cloud, his racing, and his fight-style. He probably imagines Cloud to be similar to him, forever chasing the soaring high of the adrenaline rush, desperate not to experience the crash, and so remembers Cloud much more fondly than he did in the moment, rewriting over Cloud's own reactions and personality to make him more like Roche's own desires and thoughts. Would love to have the rivalmance of the ages, and would get violently jealous if he learned about Rufus or Sephiroth.

Sephiroth - is there a word stronger than interested? I mean, Seffie's interested all right, but it's the kind of interested that you would get having dated someone for five years and still having that good spark. Sephiroth treats Cloud the way some assholes treat their partners when their partner gets mad at them for something they see as inconsequential and petty. As far as Seffie's concerned, they are already boyfriends/soulmates/two halves of the same whole, but Cloud's mad at him for some reason, and so he's condescendingly giving Cloud his space to stop being mad and come back to bed. He's interested in sex with Cloud, he uses some seduction techniques to gauge how mad Cloud still is at him, but he's not desperate about it, he's not uncertain or hopeful about it, just expectant. There is no world or universe in Sephiroth's mind where he and Cloud don't belong to each other(he even says something like this! Twice!), so to say he's "interested" is to strongly undersell the point. Yeah, he stays at the top of the list.

And there you have it. List of all the major and middling characters from FFVII Remake. I didn't include people like Wymer, specifically because I forgot who the fuck Wymer was between when you first see him and when you last see him. I was so confused when Barrett and Tifa ran up to him all concerned for him, I literally said 'who is this? Why do we care?'. So Wymer, the teachers from Leaf House, the tournament announcers, the weight lifting bros, etc., all got tossed. Oh, and Aerith's mom. Her I just forgot about, and I don't wanna google her name or figure out what flavor of disinterested she is. This post is already so long.

#ffvii remake #phew #finally done #you would not believe how long I thought about all the middling interest characters #it's a good game #it's just about 30% too long #they're trying to stretch the gameplay out of of 1/3 of the original game #without enough extra plot/character development to fill in the corners #so they pad it by making every fight 25% too long #very annoying #but still a good game #when it's good it's very very good #and when it's bad it's awful

[strangersteddierthings]

What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Prompt from @devious-kitten

Steve had a mild interest in DnD as a freshmen because of a cousin or something. The interest was killed by Eddie being mean since Steve is a jock. Post vecna Eddie finds dust covered DnD handbook Steve explains and Eddie faces a still hurt Steve as a results of his biases

((Half written fic, half rambling about how it would go down. Apologies for the formatting. Also I added more angst than the prompt called for hehe))

Steve has always loved sports. This is a well-known fact. He's played on some sort of sports team from the time he was old enough for his parents to be able to sign him up.

A lesser-known fact is that Steve loves fantasy. Or, at least, he used to. On the playground in elementary school, Steve could often be found playing knights and dragons, and it was anyone's guess if he would be a knight or a dragon on any particular day.

The summer between middle and high school, Steve spent with his grandparents from his mother's side, on the farm they'd retired on in Michigan. A month long stay that he'd shared with his cousins, Amber, Robert, and Christopher. Amber and Robert are twins, four years younger than Steve, and Christopher was two years older and infinitely cooler than anyone else Steve knew.

Christopher was on the varsity basketball team at his high school when he was just a sophomore, captain of the JV football team, president of the chess club, and in a games club.

Christopher was everything Steve wanted to be now that he was going to be in high school. Minus the chess club because

It was during that summer, Steve got to indulge in playing make believe for another summer with his younger cousins, without the judgement of people (his father and peers) who thought he was too old for such things. He also got to learn about make believe for older kids, because Christopher played a game called Dungeons and Dragons with his game club the last month of school before summer break and spent many evenings going over what had happened with Steve as a captive audience.

"I wish I'd brought the books," Christopher had whispered to him one night from the bed, peaking over to look down at Steve in his sleeping bag on the floor, "we could have played."

Steve wishes he'd brought the books, too.

At the end of July, Christopher, Amber, and Robert's parents show up to pick them up, five days before Steve's scheduled flight to Indianapolis. It's a sad goodbye because one summer a year isn't enough with his cousins but they live in Washington. Steve's always jealous their parents drive all the way to pick them up, but a little proud he gets to brag about how he's flown alone since he was seven. No one else in his class can brag about that.

His mom picks him up in Indianapolis and they go back to school shopping while there.

A week later, Steve receives a package from Christopher. Inside Steve finds Advanced Dungeons and Dragons books, three of them, and even though Christopher said nothing about advanced, he's sure he can manage. On the inside cover of the players handbook, Christopher has written:

Hey Steve, I think you'd rock playing a dwarf paladin. Let's play next summer? Christopher 1981

He spends the last three weeks of summer vacation reading the player handbook cover to cover and making a character. It's slow going, because letters don't stay where they're supposed to be on the page (that's a problem he's had his whole life, so he's not surprised but he is determined), and he's never been good at math, so getting the stats down on paper isn't easy. He can't decide what he wants to play, so he makes two characters; an elf magic-user and, of course, a dwarf paladin.

(He's a little disappointed you can't be a dragon.)

Steve's never been one to dread the first day of school, but he's never actually looked forward to it, either. It's just been another day.

Until today.

Today is his first day as a high schooler. And the only people who go to the first day are Freshman, except the upper classman that have volunteered to man the booths for school activities for the last hour of the day. It's supposed to help the Freshman get the lay of the land without being overwhelming and Steve's excited for it. He needs to see if Hawkins High has a games club like Christopher's school does.

Here Steve is, that last hour of school. He's already been to the basketball booth, promising to sign up as soon as the season started, and the swim booth because he's got a pool at his house and has been swimming for as long as he can remember and knows he enjoys it. He also stops by the football booth even though he's never played, or cared much, for it. (Maybe he's trying to emulate Christopher, sue him.). So, the final thing is to see if Hawkins High offers a chess club and a game club.

Steve is delighted to see that, though there is no games club, there is a Dungeons and Dragons club! That delight wavers because of the kid manning the booth. His hair is curly and falls just below his ears, with big brown eyes. Steve hates to think it, but he'd be cute if he didn't look like he wanted to stab Steve.

"Yeah, no, keep walking," says the boy, pulling the flier with meeting information on it out from under Steve's hand, where he'd been attempting to read it.

Steve looks up, brows furrowed in confusion. "I was reading that."

"And I said no. Jocks don't play Dungeons and Dragons."

"I could," Steve says, offended. He squints at the name tag sticker slapped diagonally across the way too big jean vest this guy's wearing. E-d-d-i-e. Eddie.

"Have you ever played?"

"Well... no, but-"

"No buts. Mitch let a jock join last year and that was a nightmare. He could barely read the rule book. And with how you were squinting down at the flier, and then my name tag, you're not going to be much better."

Jokes on Eddie, Steve's already read the rule book. Even if it was slowly. "I can read just fine."

"Can you math, then? What's eight plus seven?"

"What?"

"Simple addition. Eight plus seven. What is it?"

Steve knows simple addition. This is fine. It doesn't matter than he's been put on the spot, and that math is hard for the same reason as reading. He can do this. His hand twitches with wanting to pull it up and use it to keep track. He's faster at math when he can do that, but this jerk is mean mugging him and he just knows if he moves his hand, this guy will mock him the rest of the school year.

Eight plus seven. Ok. Make it easier, get to ten. It takes adding two to the eight to get ten. Ok. Take that two away from the seven now. That makes... five! Ok. Ten plus five is-

"Dude, it's fifteen," Eddie snaps.

"I knew that!"

Scoff. "Right. How about seventeen plus six."

Steve can feel his face turning red with embarrassment but he's not going to let this jackass be right. Round up. It takes three to get seventeen to twenty, so take three away from the six-

"23. Point proven. Go. Away. Go play your jock games and leave me- us alone."

Steve opens his mouth to argue, or maybe plead, that he can do this, and that, more importantly, he wants to do this, but laughter cuts through the air and for the first time, Steve notices the audience that has gathered. Three people are laughing at him, and his inability to do mental math, and it makes Steve snap his jaw shut and swallow.

"Mental math isn't that hard, Steve," one of them, Brant, says, as he elbows the guy next to him.

"Thank you!" Eddie says, "that's what I'm saying."

"Whatever, man, like I'd want to play make believe at this age anyway," Steve mutters and rushes away.

If, two weeks later, Steve watches Kyle trip who he now knows is Eddie 'The Freak' Munson in the bathroom, and drag him into a stall for a swirly, well, no he didn't. He briefly thinks of saying something to stop Kyle, but shoves the words down and instead turns on heel and leaves that bathroom just as the sound of flushing and Eddie yelling start. The thick bathroom door does a good job of muffling the noise and if Steve feels any guilt about that, he shoves that down, too.

Besides, Kyle's the captain of the basketball team and if Steve wants a chance to be on that team, he can't stay anything. It's a well-known fact that Steve likes sports, after all. He's going to stick to that. Screw Eddie Munson and his Dungeons and Dragons club.

Steve will get to play Dungeons and Dragons with Christopher next summer.

Except, halfway through the school year, Steve and his parents quickly board a plane bound for Washington. Turns out being as perfect as Christopher was is hard. Overwhelming.

They arrive the day before the funeral, and fly out right after it. Steve barely has time to mourn before they're shuffling him back to school that Monday.

Christopher died, and with him, so does Steve's desire to be just like him. He quits the football team. He keeps basketball because he does like it, even without Christopher's influence. He can't bring himself to get rid of the Dungeons and Dragons books, but he can't look at them, either. They end up in the downstairs hall closet, forgotten on the shelf.

So, years later, after rising to the top of the food chain (no one was ever going to embarrass him like Eddie Munson had again) and then falling to the bottom (who cares about high school popularity when interdimensional monsters exist) and of course, the years of fighting against said interdimensional monsters before ending it all in spring of '86, Steve finds himself, unwillingly, agreeing to host Hellfire since the school banned the club following the events of spring break.

Damn Dustin Henderson. Steve usually has the backbone to say no but Dustin had to play up 'getting a chance to finally just be kids' and fuck, how was Steve going to say no to that? Despite how quickly his own desire to be a freshman playing Dungeons and Dragon had been squashed, he can't be the one to ruin this for them.

"Thanks for hosting, man," Eddie says when Steve lets him in. He's an hour early but had asked if that was okay. Apparently the dungeon master has a lot of prep to do? Not that Steve would know.

"Sure," Steve says, dismissively, because while Eddie and he went through hell together, and Steve carried his sorry ass out of the Upside Down, Steve can't quite let his guard down around him.

It's funny. In the Upside Down, Eddie had made a point to tell him he's changed, is a 'good dude' now. So, what's funny is how much Eddie is exactly the same person he was five years ago. He was an ass to Steve five years ago, and as far as Steve is concerned, was also an ass to Lucas for wanting to play basketball just this year.

He swears to God, if he hears one negative thing about Lucas tonight, he's punching Eddie unconscious, no matter what the rest of Hellfire will do or say about it.

Eddie's been in his dining room for maybe five minutes before he finds Steve in the living room. Steve's got a movie playing but he couldn't tell you which one. He's not really watching it.

"Do you got a table cloth for that big table? Jeff's got a set of metal dice and I'd feel like a real ass if we scratched it on accident."

Steve takes a deep breath before answering. He hates that Eddie is considerate like this, has been since spring break if Steve's being honest, but he doesn't want to see Eddie's good qualities. So, he waves in the direction of the closet. "Yeah. There should be some in the hall closet there. Help yourself."

"Thanks."

He twists on the couch to watch Eddie cross the room to the closet door, listens as the door creaks opens, hears the quiet, pleased noise Eddie lets out when his eyes land on the stack of table clothes. Steve continues to watch as Eddie just grabs the whole stack and yanks them off the top shelf.

Which means his watching as the stack of non-fabric objects, which must have been half atop the table clothes, also tumble out of the closet, bouncing off various parts of Eddie. It's a bunch of miscellaneous items. However, Steve realizes with horror, the book that bounces off Eddie's head is his copy of the Monster Manual. Eddie has stepped back in surprise (and possibly pain), so the Dungeon Master Guide and the Players Handbook bounce off his torso and leg before landing on the ground.

"Fuck," Eddie curses, before he stares down at what just assaulted him. Steve just stares at Eddie, watching as he slowly comes to comprehend what he's seeing. He watches as Eddie bends down and grabs the Player Handbook, the last thing to fall, from a top the pile. "What the-"

Steve stands, suddenly defensive, but doesn't actually say anything or move closer. He just watches as Eddie examines the book, flipping it from front to back in his hand like the title will change if he does that enough times.

Then, Eddie turns to him, bewildered. "Present for one of the kids? Thought they all had their own copies."

"No."

Eddie flips the book open. Reads the words written in there so many years ago. "Who's Christopher? Wait. 1981? You were playing D&D in 1981?"

"None of your business, and no," Steve says, now kicking into action, stomping up to Eddie and snatching the book from his hands.

Eddie hold his hands up in defense before his eyes turn mischievous. The same glint in them now that was there when Eddie'd leaned into this space in the RV and called him big boy. "Are you lying to me, Stevie? You've played before, haven't you?"

It makes Steve's blood boil. "No. I haven't played!"

"Alright. You could now, you know," Eddie says. And it's the way he says it, all nonchalant and like he's trying to be coy about it- it tips something over inside Steve. A bottle that held his humiliation and hurt from all those years ago.

"Oh, now I'm good enough for D&D? Now I can join? Aren't I too much of a jock for you!?"

"Whoa, what's with the hostility-"

"What's eight plus seven, Eddie!?" Steve snaps. His memory might be shit these days, with all the concussions, but the unfortunate part about Steve is that he always seems to remember the bad. And he remembers Freshman First Day like yesterday. "No? How about seventeen plus six? Come on, mental math isn't hard. Or don't you remember? I'm just a stupid jock too slow on the uptake, or no, what was it you said? It'll be a nightmare to play with me, 'cause I might be barely able to read the rules?"

He watches as Eddie's face morphs from confusion, to understanding and horror. "Holy shit, Steve. That was you- you wanted to join Hellfire-"

"Yeah, and you made it pretty fuckin' clear I didn't belong in it."

"I'm sorry man. I shouldn't have- if I'd known you, I never would have-"

"That's the problem, Eddie!" Steve shouts, waving the book in front of him. "You didn't know me. You looked at me and decided for me that I was going to be a jock and nothing else and then humiliated me in front of other people! You didn't even bother to try to know me. I spent three weeks reading this stupid book cover to cover because I knew I was shit at reading and I still wanted to try anyway."

He sees Eddie puffing up in anger. "Well, I wasn't exactly wrong, was I? You were a jock, a bully even!"

"Yeah, because I was a dumb, hurt kid who decided that it was better to hurt than be hurt. As if you weren't exactly the same that day, lashing out at me first, at my reading ability, and mocking me for not being quick at math. Fuck you, Munson!" Steve walks away, not hearing anything Eddie shouts after him as he sprints up the stairs and shuts himself in his room.

Steve knows he was a dick in high school, and it's not Eddie's fault he was a dick. Steve made choices he's not proud of and no one forced those choice on him. But Eddie doesn't get to throw that back in his face. Not when Eddie made him feel humiliated and stupid on the first goddamn day of high school, long before Steve became mean himself.

#pre-steddie #my fic #prompt #sophomore eddie is a jerk #but only because he thinks steves gonna be a jerk first so hes gotta beat him to it #also steves very mean to eddie in his thoughts but its only his thoughts #tw: minor character death #its an oc tho #tw: suicide implied but not stated

[wrtingsoftheunknown]

Vincent Sinclair HC

Vincent Sinclair hc SFW and NSFW

I’ve haven’t  been seeing my boy get repped recently so I have to do it myself. My first time writing something on here or towards this character ,I promise I will get better y'al,l I made this super quickly not proofread oops.

SFW

-While he can be insecure about his face he definitely has an ego from being the favorite child and having perfected his craft.

Lester drags him out to go for a ride around town or force him to come to his place for some quality brother time (Bo joins every now and then but wants peace and quiet dammit )

‘I know a lot of people have him learn sign language but I think he either writes what he wants to say, speaks as best as he can, or gestures, ( he was born in the south to parents that I don't think cared about communicating with him too much but he could have picked it up later in life maybe in his teen years or middle school era)

More sadistic than Bo when it comes to killing, he doesn't care if they are dead or alive when working on them and takes satisfaction in the result of his work

He prefers to work in silence but you can catch him humming now and then some country song or a guilty pleasure pop song from the 80’s( I see you Vince)

I think he partakes in multiple forms of art besides wax work.We see he’s able to paint, draw, but he also  takes pictures, , sews, writes, makes videos, anything artistic he’s learning and keeping up with new techniques.

Since he takes video of the killings at times I think they sell them as snuff films to make extra cash on top of stealing and selling victims stuff. (At least that’s what I thought when I first watched the film anyone else or just me)

Rarely happens but will keep victims that interest him like Bo ,but dispose of them when they get boring  or no longer match up the ideal version of them in his head.

-Does want a lifelong partner, the white wedding and picket fence, kids,  but knows it might be difficult with the line of work he does.

- He can talk but only does when it’s important or to emphasize something. He does have a southern draw like Bo and I imagine his voice to sound similar but raspier, maybe deeper/ quieter from not using it as much.

-like I said earlier you have to really catch his attention and be able to hold it for more than a week, if that happens then he’s obsessed and protective maybe a little too over protective.

Does indeed have a hair care routine I believe this full throttle and no one can can tell me otherwise I'm not listening.

NSFW

I don't know if he’s a virgin, I don't think he is something is telling me he isn't, but i’m not sure

He has no problem with nudity, bodies are seen as art, there's not as much of a sexual connotation with them as with Bo and Lester .

He wants to be in love with the person he is intimate with, he wants to be worship and worship his muse.

Drawings  of his partner naked as well as in the midst of a passionate night, he might tease them all night to make sure the sketch is as life like and accurate as possible

Good size and thick that's all I gotta say

Praise kink hard core, hearing his partner call him a good boy or how he makes them feel so good he will crumble

He starts slow and sensual, enjoys the control he has and having someone at his power.

I think he will edge you and leave you high and dry when you act out but he always caves by the end of the day and gives you what you need.

Can last a long time surprisingly

Mainly a giver but someone please for the love of god give this man the nastiest had he’s ever received will make the prettiest noises 

Is down to try anything new and more open about sex than you would think.

When he’s horny he comes up behind his partner and starts caressing every inch he can reach, while resting his chin on their shoulder acting as innocent as he can.

#vincent sinclair #house of wax #vincent sinclair x reader #headcanon #horror #masked men #country man #bo sinclair #lester sinclair #x reader

[blindbeta]

I've noticed that you are interested in stories with multiple blind characters and often propose adding more blind characters to a story as a solution. I really struggle with this because it's not as simple as that -- stories don't have infinite narrative space. The idea that every story has a large cast is influenced by the prevalence of long serialized media in fandom: webcomics, TV shows, etc. But many writers (myself included) write a lot of novellas and short stories which often only have a few characters -- maybe even only 1 or 2! Even novels don't usually have huge expansive casts -- maybe 5 main characters with some additional side characters.

Considering this, I don't understand how it's realistic for every story (or even, say, 50% of stories) to have multiple blind characters (without it feeling forced). This is compounded by the fact that most blogs that talk about other forms of representation say the same! So if I write a 2-character short story and the protagonist is a blind Latino man, does the second character also have to be a blind Latino man? It just doesn't make sense! This is just a general problem I've noticed in discussions around representation -- there's an assumption that every cast will have 10+ characters and narrative space to develop those characters, even though that's not realistic for most narrative forms.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Writing Multiple Blind Characters in Short Stories

Hi Anon! Surprise. I write short stories as well. I have experience with this. I have never felt like my blind characters were forced or unrealistic, even with having several of them in the same story. I’ll try to explain what might help you.

First, the idea that multiple blind characters is forced or unrealistic comes from ableism. Think about why you feel there is a limit on disabled characters. If you can create stories, I would hope you are creative enough to consider the possibility that multiple blind characters could exist in the same place and time. Challenging this barrier opens up more possibilities, allowing you to explore different types of blindness, different reactions to it, different upbringings, and multiple ways of living, adapting, and navigating being blind.

Second, blind characters need access to their own community. This is where they learn how to be blind. This where they get support. This is where they might find understanding and belonging. You can find more information about community here in an excellent reblog. Also, here.

As you mentioned, I often suggest adding more blind characters when writers insist upon using stereotyped portrayals. Having multiple characters with different experiences helps to make your story more realistic and nuanced, contrary to what people might implicitly believe. Having more than one blind character is something I highly recommend because it helps with not having all your representation rest on the shoulders of one character.

For example, if you are worried a main character who has cloudy eyes might reinforce the idea that all blind people have cloudy eyes, having another blind character with a different experience may help. If one of your blind characters is naive and innocent, you might have another blind character who is brash, displays a lack of trust in others, and has a lot of shocking stories. Maybe they’re in a rock band together. They met while playing blind football (aka soccer) on a middle school team. They bonded over their pet cats and sour patch kids.

Or something.

Another important thing to remember when writing is that you have control over the story. Too many writers come to me feeling stuck because they feel they cannot change their story while also wanting to incorporate my suggestions. This makes it challenging to address implicit bias or stereotypes, much less guide writers in going in different directions.

Additionally, I feel uncomfortable with the complaints about other blogs in this ask. I feel like this isn’t really about me, nor is it something I can comment on. I will say that it sounds as if a bunch of blogs dedicated to helping people write marginalized characters are mentioning some of the same things. They are probably doing so for a reason.

However, while it helps, writing multiple blind characters won’t improve every story, which I explained in my review of the book Blind. I was not impressed with this book. I did not feel that the four blind characters were very good, nor did having them help with offsetting the portrayal of blindness as a miserable experience.

Conversely, one of my favorite blind characters is Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Despite being the only blind character in the show, the writers did a good job with her. Would I have liked her to meet more of her community as she travels with the Gang? Absolutely. Even though I like her, she still never had access to her community after being isolated by her parents for so long.

So, no, you don’t need to have multiple blind characters if the suggestion bothers you this much. I even provided good examples of what to do, what not to do, and times where my typical advice was not as helpful for the resulting story.

However, please consider where these feelings stem from. Consider the origins of the idea that having multiple blind characters is unrealistic. Using the example you provided in your question, I wonder, would you say the same if both your characters were white and abled? Is there any way you can challenge the fear of seeming unrealistic? What about being considered unrealistic bothers you so much?

You don’t necessarily need to have characters in the story for them to exist. Even background characters can help. I will try to give some ideas for this:

Does your blind character have family they can talk about or remember? Are any of their family members blind?

Do they have any friends? Just because the friends aren’t in the story doesn’t mean they don’t exist at all.

Does the blind character have any formative memories or flashbacks?

Does the character who isn’t blind know any blind folks?

Your characters should have lives outside of the story. They should have memories and experiences that made them who they are. This is where you can have other blind characters. Perhaps this is how your blind character can have a community.

However, I would still like to see more blind characters interacting with each other. This is what I want as a blind person. If you don’t want to go that direction, that’s fine.

I hope this helps.

#blind #blind characters #writing blind characters #ask #scheduled post #writing more than one blind character #multiple blind characters #ableism #let blind people have friends and community challenge

[oonajaeadira]

i was rereading a GTTT chapter and Patricio has just been in my mind rent free, creeping in from daydreams in places i should not be daydreaming. So I’ve got a PATS question for you. How would Patricio and Reader navigate the issue of him being too drained sexually when Reader is needy?

Hello, lovely.

First of all, I want to apologize for the long hiatus I've taken on Pats and Pres. This ask--and many more--have been sitting in my inbox for far too long and I'd like to think that answering late is better than never. Thank you for your patience with me!!!

This is a very interesting question and it sparked some over-arching thoughts. I have half an answer for you here--from his point of view, and therefore the "drained" part of it. Pres may not seem too needy here, but look to the next installment for more on that.

Also, a non-apology here to everyone.

For so long I've made you believe that Patricio is confident, in control...or at least in denial about it when he's not. But he's growing. Changing. There may be more vulnerability here than you want and much less sexy times. Not everyone has a good day every day.

Kiss and Tell: Everyone's Allowed a Bad Day (GTTT PATS)

FANDOM: Calls - Apple TV (PATS is a character from ep. 3. “Pedro Across the Street.” This is not RPF.)

As with all of my PATS installments, warnings abound for explicit content. (This one's much tamer than most.)

(gif by cavill-henry)

It’s nights like these that he sometimes wished he smoked. He’ll pour himself a drink once the client wakes up and leaves, but he doesn’t want her to catch it on his breath.

Bourbon. Bath. Bed. Maybe something short and calm on streaming. There’s a new cowboy film just dropped by that Spanish director looks good. 

Leaning on the kitchen counter and staring out across the silent living room, he contemplates the novel you left on the coffee table. Wonders if you’re missing it.

It occurs to him that he could call you. He can do that now. He doesn’t need a reason anymore, but even if the reason is a rough day…actually, maybe that’s even more reason to call you. In fact, he really should ask you–

His phone vibrates on the countertop and he frowns. It’s your pattern and his heart races a little, not only because it’s you, but thinking he’s been lost in thought too long, that he’s missed the three-hour mark. But a flip of the phone shows him he’s got 20 minutes to go. 

Odd. It’s not like you to interrupt a session.

“Hey, muñeca, everything okay?” he mumbles, stepping barefoot out onto the front porch in nothing but his sweatpants.

Your voice sounds far away, “Oh shit,” before a riffling sound and then a clearer, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hit dial. I didn’t know I did. I was going to call and then I saw the time…I know you’re in the middle of a session, oh loverboy I’m so sorry–”

Just the sound of your voice is an instant balm. “It’s okay, it’s okay, she’s sleeping. I was actually just thinking about calling you.”

“Oh, really?” There’s something there behind your fluster, hiding among the smile in your voice, something that he might not have noticed if you hadn’t said you meant to call.

“Something you wanted to call me about?”

There’s a sound in the background. An announcement. You’re in public. “Um, no, not really. I just had a lonely moment, that’s all.”

“Well that’s an ego boost. You wanna come spend the night?”

There’s a pause. Shocked, judging by your voice. “Really? On an appointment night?”

He scratches his head and focuses on his feet as he aimlessly paces the porch. “Sure. I mean, if like a quarter after ten isn’t too late for you to drive just to go to bed.”

“With the weather shifting and how warm you run? It’s never too late to say yes to a heated bed.”

He smiles. “Glad I can be of service.” There's silence from you and he cringes. “Shit. Not you– not– Was that a bad choice of word?”

“No. It’s just–”

“Hey. I want you here tonight. I wanna talk to you.” Another silence. He supposes that sounds ominous. It shouldn’t. “You know, here. Not…on a phone.” He’s still not good at this. 

“That sounds nice…. You, uh, need anything? I’m at the grocery store.”

“No. Just you.” It feels good to say. Right. It’s what’s needed to break what feels like an odd tension into a few comfortable, mutually smiling moments. “So. The grocery store. And you’re feeling lonely. At a grocery store.”

Your laughter--hushed but musical--is kept close to the phone. “Well I am standing in produce and they just got in some preeeeeetty nice looking eggplants.”

“Wow.”

Another laugh, less hushed, throatier. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’ll let you get back to your work. I assume you’ve got a sleeping beauty to wake up.”

Pulling the phone away from his face for a timecheck, he winces. “Yeah. I’ll see you in 20?”

“I’d say I can’t wait, but you know that I will.”

Wow. “I know and I…”Something sweet twists inside. “I know.”

After you hang up he stands a minute more on the porch in the dark. The leaves are almost all off the trees now, the crickets are gone. His feet are freezing and the skin on his torso is goosebumping; doing its best–and failing–to lift his fine hairs to shield him from the autumn chill. But it’s far from unpleasant and he finds that he’s awake for the sensation in a way he hasn’t been in a while.

He’s alive again in a way he hasn’t been in a while.

The last couple of months have been…nothing short of amazing.

He should tell you that. He should say it.

But he’s got to get to that point where…he accepts it. 

Not the relationship…the fact that there’s always a possibility it’s too good to be true, that he could lose it. He could lose you.

You’re handling everything so well, but for how long? How long until you make him choose?

Oh fuck, please don’t make me choose, preciosa, please.

The phone buzzes in his hand. Timer; no need to look, just thumbs the button to silence. On another night, he’d allow himself more time, let the client sleep while he mused. But he’s got a job to do. 

And someone special arriving soon.

So he packs these thoughts away and goes quietly inside to prepare.

________

He’s just poured the detergent in the washing machine when he hears the door open. “Hey, I’m just cleaning up, gimme a second.”

Out in the entry, your shoes clatter on the floor and then your keys jingle on the kitchen counter and before he knows it you’re on him, topless and crowding him against the washing machine, kissing him like he’s just come back from war. It’s jarring but pleasant and full of hungry sighs…until there’s a ping in his calf muscle.

“Ooh, hey, Pres, hey hey, hang on.” Taking your face in his hands he calms, he whispers, he soothes you in order to soothe himself, but you catch on instantly, concern splashing over you.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

A kiss to the tip of your nose, to your smart little nose. “No, no, I’m a little sore; just had a difficult session–a difficult day, actually. And I haven’t showered yet. So don’t get yourself too worked up here. You don’t want me like this.”

He expects you to recoil from this, to find the sex with someone else still lingering on his skin. You don’t.

You simply run your hands over his sides, lean in to kiss his chin. “Of course I do. I want you like whatever you are.”

You’re backlit from the kitchen and there’s something like a soft halo around you, bringing a glow to the roll of your cheeks, the swipe of your lip. Tracing these with a finger and finding himself reflected in your eyes, he trusts you, accepts this, tries to see himself like you do. How are you so effortless?

There’s nothing but surrender when you rake your fingers through his beard and push yourself up onto tiptoe to press a warm kiss to his forehead. “But if you really feel that way, beautiful, let me run you a bath.” 

Everytime he opens his eyes and you’re there, it's like a small miracle.

“Come on,” you smile, taking his hand and guiding him to the stairs, “let me take care of you and you can tell me about your day.”

You’re perfect. He’s so grateful he picked up the phone tonight when he did.

________

“Mmmmm, that’s good.” The sigh comes up from his bottom wells, like a contented creature crawling out of hidden caverns within. The back of his head rests in your palm, warm water spilling over his scalp. Your hands whisper and calm and soothe. He spends so much time using his touch to bring relaxation to others that he’d all but forgotten that it could go the other way. And your touch–

“So there was some heavy lifting tonight, huh?” Your finger lightly wipes away an errant rivulet from the corner of his eye. “Ness, right?”

The ghost of irritation looms. “Mmm. She has a pretty severe tailbone injury. Didn’t tell me about it before she showed up. Lot of full-body lifting on the table just to get her in the right positions for stretch.”

“I see. You’ll feel it tomorrow. And sore tailbone means no actual sex tonight.”

“Oh no, we had some fun. She’s got weeks of recovery ahead of her and she needed some practice re-routing some natural orgasm responses to different muscle groups when she ejaculates.”

“Ejaculates? She…? Ohhh.” A loving hand begins to wander lightly over his chest. “I assumed. My bad.”

“Sorry. Should have been more clear. But yeah.”

“No need to apologize. I don’t know why I hadn’t just assumed that you…took all forms of payment.”

He peeks an eye open to catch your reaction as you reach over the side of the tub toward him and finds your warm, curious smile. “Not to disparage the vaginal anatomy, but sometimes it’s nice to have my dick handled by someone who has a lifetime experience with their own.”

“Noted. Fair.”

Closing his eyes and sinking into the warm bath of your care a lifetime goes by with your hands running over his skin.

“You’re very accommodating.”

A kiss lands on his temple. “Wait until you realize I’m terribly selfish and am in it for the rewards points.” When his smile fades, your hands slow. “That was a joke.”

“I know.” Sensing a shift in tone coming when he turns to you, you instinctively pull back, but he catches your hand in his, pulling it in to place a wet kiss to your knuckles. “Would you mind if I don’t want to have sex tonight?”

“Of course. That’s okay.” A half-smile. Are you covering disappointment?

“I’m more than happy to go down on you if you–”

But a shake of your head stops him. “No, it's fine. I can tell you’re tired. You said you had a hard day. Wanna tell me about it while we get you dried off and into bed?”

He feels like a child as he simply nods, allows you to help him up, succumbs to you as you care for him. It’s easy to do, to melt under your attention, to crack open and spill. He does his best not to control the spread as he generalizes a failed report at work, a difficult project he’s fallen behind on. By the time you’re sliding into the sheets and curling up next to him, he’s breaching the topic he’s been deciding and undeciding and deciding again to tell you about–that his mother called without warning.

“She wants to meet you.”

Your breathing stills in the darkness. “You told your mom about me.”

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I..” you stutter, “I guess I didn’t… I’m flattered that you talk about me?”

There’s a pang of guilt that he’s let you believe you’re not important enough for him to tell the world that you’re in his life. But he sighs as you squeeze your arm around his middle. “You might feel differently if you met her.”

“Are you kidding? I’d love to meet your…is it just your mom?”

“And my father. I have an older brother but he lives in Australia. Doesn’t go home much.”

“Home issssSantiago?”

“Just outside of it. Rancagua.”

Another squeeze. Perhaps that was a lie; your arm around him and the brush of your lips on his shoulder feels like his true home now. 

“So this call was stressful because she wants to meet me. And you’re nervous?”

“The call was stressful because…I don’t…want her to meet you.” Your squeeze lightens a bit and he slides his grip over your arm in case you decide he’s awful and want to pull away. He knows he should let you go if you want to but– “I wanted to ask you, Pres…I’m sorry I don’t know if I can ask this much from you but–”

It almost breaks his heart when your arm slides through his hand, when your warmth leaves his side, when you abandon him…

But it’s only for the time it takes to hear the click of the bedside lamp, register the bright sting and spill of light, and you’re back beside him, leaning over him, turning his face to yours with one patient hand on his cheek. “What’s going on. I’ve never seen you like this.”

Shit. Get it together.

“You’re going to think I’m a fucking jerk–”

“Don’t tell me what you think I’m going to think, sir. Tell me what you need from me. Just say it.”

This leaves him with depleted gambling chips, raises the stakes. But you’re right. He has to be honest.

“The relationship I have with my family is…strained. That’s why I live here and not there. I see them somewhat regularly, but the holidays are when the whole family gets together–all the cousins–and it’s just a lot. There’s a lot that’s expected, a lot of judgements…it’s overwhelming. I can barely make it through myself, but having you there? Watching you be scrutinized on top of it when we’re just figuring this out? I just…no.”

“You know I won’t tell them–”

“It’s not that, fuck, it’s not that.” He surges in for a kiss, taking you in deep, willing you to understand him by osmosis; if only… “Every time I’ve gone down for the holidays it’s stressful enough…it’s…it’s bad enough that I’m away from my clients, but–”

“But under stress the itch gets worse. And you don’t have your outlet. And you’re not in control.”

Oh god, you see him. You see him and he’s so…fucking pathetic.

The last thing he expects is for you to pepper kisses along his mouth and chin, to dot a lingering one on his cheek before pulling him into your chest, to cradle him, breathe into his hair.

But it’s exactly what you do.

“What do you need, beautiful boy? Anything you want.”

He breathes. Sighs. Curses himself for doubting you, for assuming you wouldn’t surprise him. Allows you to hold the weight of his heart on your own without a spotter.

“I need to…not do the ‘meet the family’ thing this year. I just want you to myself for a while.”

A hum of sympathy, of bittersweetness, one that stakes his heart into the ground at your feet. “Oh Patricio. Is that all?” Your breast moves under his cheek as you lean over to turn off the light, your soft curves and soft scent and soft hum whispering to him, calming him, soothing him into you. “I’ll admit that I’m a little sad that I don’t get to show you off to my family, but I definitely see the appeal of a quiet holiday season, just us hiding away from the world together. You want me to yourself? Did you really think I would find that anything but absolutely wonderful?”

All at once, the strains of the day overtake him, the need to say more is gone and took his energy to do so right along with it. A whole lifetime of relief in just an hour. That’s your secret power. Always has been. He cannot think of words more meaningful than, “Thank you.”

Your fingertips begin their pattern of affection along his jaw, tattooing a spell of sleep through him. “This really means a lot to you, huh.” He’s too gone to get his voice to work and it seems you assume he’s fallen asleep. “Well you mean the world to me. You don’t even know, mister.”

It’s not worth the effort to drag himself from the downward pull of dreams to ask you to say more about that. Not when he knows you’ll be right here in the morning and he can ask you then.

Or say the same thing right back to you.

Maybe this time he’ll find a way to do that.

______

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

#good things take time #pedro across the street #calls fanfiction #23

[spacexseven]

would demon dazai n chuuya ever join forces and share a darling? i imagine itd be a huge mess if they both took interest in the same darling so im curious if you think theyd be able to share or if all hell breaks loose once they find out theyre going after the same person :3c

love this au, ure doing a great job ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ

hello user teethsies!! its always nice to hear from u huehue ^^ for more demon bsd content, check out the #demon au 🐟 tag!

cw: yandere characters + themes, violence

according to your very reliable source, the ritual was only supposed to summon one (1) demon.

but inhabiting your space now was not one, but two demons.

you tried to calm yourself down first before either of them could fully realize what had happened. maybe they were a package deal—unable to summon one without the other tagging alone, and you could ask them nicely to go back so you could summon the one you wanted. or maybe it didn't matter. the reason why you wanted to summon a demon didn't change just because there were two now, anyway, so as long as they were bound to you (at least, that was what was supposed to happen), you could make them do your bidding and promise to send them back right after.

but of course, none of that happened. for starters, your new housemates abhorred each other, and your so-called binding had no effect on them. it seemed you had, instead of summoning a particular demon, opened up a portal of some sort that the two happened to come across, which meant that you held no power over them.

to make it all worse, they were both completely deranged.

you're not sure what you were expecting from a demon, but it was foolish of you to think they didn't deal in trickery and torment. dazai was a master in both, somehow able to even make an invitation to stay in his torture chamber enticing (until you, fortunately, snapped out of it and realized just what that would entail). chuuya, though he never threatened you, had a permanent sneer on his face, and from the little conversation you overheard between him and dazai, was also no stranger to violent, cruel tactics.

it didn't matter why you wanted to summon them. dazai finds it silly anyway, whether it was for revenge or curiosity, the fact that you believed you could do such a thing and still be alive by the end of it was almost cute, and chuuya had made sure you knew how angry he was that you thought you could boss him around. regardless, they were here now, and...they were refusing to leave.

in retrospect, it was quite obvious when they were starting to take interest in you. dazai had always been a little too interested in you, apart from studying your clipped nails, which were completely different from his own claw-like ones, and constantly pointing out how small and human you looked, dazai found everything about you entertaining. he especially liked to make you frustrated, turning off your computer in the middle of your game, mixing salt into your sugar, hiding away your phone—little things that ruined your day,

chuuya, on the other hand, was a little harder to figure out. he seemed to hold a grudge against you, but there were times where he'd be almost...nice. after a particularly rough day or a night where you couldn't sleep thanks to someone deciding to also sleep right on top of you, you'd wake up to see your favorite drink waiting for you and all of dazai's usual tricks sorted out in advance. of course, he wasn't completely innocent. he had his own fair share of tricks, though never as bad as dazai's. chuuya was also a lot more familiar with the human world, and provided surprisingly good advice when you needed it.

the problem with the whole arrangement is that dazai cannot share anything, let alone his new human toy. he's suffocatingly possessive, and painfully competitive, constantly wanting you to spend more time with him and be nicer to him and smile more at him and—it went on. once he realizes that chuuya's warming up to you, he immediately starts plotting for damage control. he tries to send chuuya back and convince you that chuuya was only going to hurt you. while chuuya isn't opposed to the idea, dazai's hostility on spurs him on. having the two of you like the same darling will only end up in a lot of fighting.

#i have a whole list of Perverse things dazai would do too but only if youre interested in hearing it #like he would lick ur hand when ure asleep to freak u out #and so on #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bsd x reader #yandere bsd #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere dazai osamu #yandere dazai #yandere dazai x reader #yandere chuuya x reader #yandere chuuya nakahara #yandere chuuya #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere demon x reader #yandere x reader #ask 🐟 #drabble 🐟 #demon au 🐟 #chuuya 🐟

[cenorii]

And here we are again… RE9 theory

It's time for another theory! I'll be writing these right up until the release of RE9, so apologies if you're tired of speculation. I had a theory about this Wesker concept once before, but it came out too vague + I tied the concept to RE4R, but it never made it into the game. So here's a new theory that has captured my brain.

What if, this concept never belonged to re4r? What if it showed up in early development of re9? Let me explain.

Imagine that Wesker is alive in re9. You can imagine the importance of keeping such a news secret, because it is quite a shocking information for fans. If this is the main intrigue in re9, the game would lose it if information about Wesker leaked to the public. If you were the designers and developers, you wouldn't let such news get out of the organization any way. So, put yourself in the shoes of a Capcom employee? Let's move on.

Suddenly such an important detail is leaked by Wesker's voice actor and your intrigue risks becoming public, the game will lose half of its interest without keeping Wesker a secret. You, as a developer\designer need to solve something, somehow fix the situation so that no one will know about the return of this character in the new game.

Then you make a GENIAL decision, setting your sights on re4r, which is in the middle of development. You decide to add this Wesker design to re4r to ward off all suspicion and get out of the disadvantage. Well done, you succeeded in fooling the fandom, now everyone is convinced that this concept was originally made for re4r.

It would seem that everything is fine, no one will know the truth until the re9 release happens, but… Wesker's concept never showed up in re4r. That image is not inside the game or in the concept book. We, the players, are left to assume that this concept was trivially not intended for re4r.

To confirm this theory, I'll ask you to pay attention to a few details - the face (1), the hair (2) and the hand (3). 1. The face, to be honest, could be anything on these concepts, because they are made sometimes before the studio finds the right actor to give the appearance to the character. But I'm left wondering if his face here is taken from re5 and yet looks much older. If this was for re4r, wouldn't Wesker look younger? 2. His hairstyle deviates a lot from the usual style that every game has. Capcom couldn't change Wesker's hairstyle for the REMAKE of the game, because it's an important part of it. Changing his hairstyle is tantamount to removing his sunglasses. But that kind of hair is acceptable for a new game. I assume this is how his new style was planned for the future in which he is alive (?). If you've ever seen the "early" versions of re4r, you probably know that in them Wesker has that exact weird hairstyle, which Leon also has in the "hero" skin. I believe that when Capcom added the "hero" hairstyle to Wesker, they were trying to make him look even more like the concept to minimize information leaks among the staff.

3. In none of the games did Wesker suffer an arm injury. In Code Veronica, his hand was set on fire, but the wound is not serious and Wesker is able to heal his wounds in SECONDS. It doesn't make sense to emphasize his wound for a Code Veronica concept. It also doesn't make sense to do a wound for re4r, because in the original Wesker never left his chair at all, and in the remake he didn't get into any serious fights. This wound is something new that hasn't happened yet, but one day will. In all the games, Wesker heals any injuries quickly, but at the end of re5 he took too much damage, so he probably lost some of his strength, causing him to keep his wounds for a long time.

That's the kind of thoughts that visit me when I see this image but don't see it inside re4r. If it's a "discarded" concept, it too should appear officially, like Ada's concept for re8 that was never added to the game.

Thanks for reading, really looking forward to re9 to see how far I was from the truth. (Help me. I'm going crazy.)

#resident evil #rebhfun #ada wong #albert wesker #resident evil theory #resident evil 9 #resident evil 4

[arvandus]

barbatos headcanons sfw or nsfw? totally fine if not <3 i love anything you write for barbatos <3

Ohhhh man, so many headcanons considering how much space he takes up in my brain. Most of it centers around relationships and, by proxy, NSFW stuff. It ties into what I recall of canon material, but take it with a grain of salt since I haven't finished the OG game yet (I'm on lesson 42 right now). I'm just going to put SOME of them since I have so many. Also, some of these will probably sound more like character analysis than headcanons.

WARNING: MINORS AND AGELSS BLOGS DNI; THIS POST CONTAINS 18+ CONTENT. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT FOLLOW ME!

My Humble Barbatos Thoughts:

General stuff (SFW):

He smells like warm bread and spices due to all the baking/cooking he does and the tea he grows and brews.

When Asmo painted his and Diavolo's nails to match the brothers (per Diavolo's request), Barbatos let Diavolo choose his nail color for him.

His biggest worry is the mistakes of his past coming back to haunt him by inadvertently impacting Diavolo's reputation by association. If Barbatos's past sins became public knowledge, he would worry about how the Devildom might view him and how that would impact Diavolo.

Because of how incredibly old he is, and the way he seemed to come into Sol's life when he was a teenager (if I recall correctly?), and came into Diavolo's life when he was also young, I see his relationships with them as almost parental/guardian (at least initially).

Which means he probably doesn't really have any truly balanced/equal relationships with those around him, which can cause him to be somewhat isolated. He's there for others, but he's not very willing to let others reciprocate. He believes he needs to handle all of his troubles/worries on his own.

I can see his dynamic with Diavolo evolving into a more equal/balanced friendship over time, the parental/guardian dynamic falling away as he let's go of his protective role. I think this has already happened with Sol, since they seem more friends/equals than father/son (e.g., he allows Sol to have power over him not just in pact, but also with his grimoire); Diavolo is harder because Barbatos still sees the young prince as his responsibility (plus Dia is always trying to sneak out like a teenager 😂).

Barbatos has a LOT of talents and interests; he may be very proper and well-mannered, but he's been around for a LONG time. Canon things we've learned about him so far: he likes heavy metal music, he likes classical music, he is great at ice skating, fangol, and chess; he kills it at cross-dressing and dancing... he's a very diverse individual which tells me he did and tried probably literally everything when he was younger.

He's 10/10 middle-aged adult energy now. He's done everything, experimented with all the things, and now he just wants stability. He's still got some spunk to him and will engage in fun activities (especially for the sake of others), but if he had his way, I think he'd want to relax with his tea, his gardens, and his walks under the stars.

Relationship/Intimacy (including NSFW):

He had plenty of lovers earlier on in his life, but he didn't exactly have a lot of emotional intimacy. He's always been the oldest demon, and when he was younger, that simple fact made him arrogant and he saw himself as always being above others. It drove an invisible wedge between himself and those around him.

He's a greed demon, so I imagine that in the beginning he was more emotionally charged and selfishly motivated.

He has literally tried every kink under the sun moon. Young Barbatos was kinkier, hornier, meaner (due to his arrogance), and likely was not a very healthy individual to engage in relations with. Probably had lots of red flags. Was very free-spirited (our boy was hopping timelines will-nilly);

Young Barb had fuckboi energy, but in a quiet, intelligent sort of way (if that makes sense). He was hard to resist, yet very much untouchable.

As time passed, he mellowed out but also became more reserved. This made emotional intimacy even harder, and sexual escapades grew boring after a while.

Young Barbatos certainly got around, but he only truly fell in love once. But he had to leave that person behind when he made the decision to go back and fix his mistakes. He still thinks about them to this day.

In the past, when he saw the consequences of his recklessness and how it had impacted those he cared about (Dia, Sol) he had a change of heart and devoted himself to fixing his mistakes and to be in service of others before himself.

It may seem endearing and like excellent character growth; which it is, to a point. But it's also reactionary to the harm he caused. Barbatos sees his passions and desires as something toxic, something negative. As such, he sees them as being something that needs to be bottled up and controlled at all times.

Which makes it so much harder to fall in love, and when he does fall in love, it will scare him, because he feels that pull of selfishness, of wanting purely for the sake of wanting it. He has yet to figure out how to find balance within himself (i.e., trust himself), to allow himself to want without letting it consume him, and to give without self-deprivation.

Monogamous or poly? I could see it going either way, although I see him leaning more towards monogamous. It's the greed and also how he isolates himself; letting in one person would be hard, letting in more than one, especially to the same extent, would be nearly impossible. He's a VERY private person.

But poly can also work as long as its established that the relationship is exclusive between him and his partners (no open relationships/flings with outsiders). Poly might also be nice for him in that he can take comfort in knowing that his partners are there for each other when his work keeps him away from them (i.e., he'd hate for his monogamous partner to be alone all the time).

Either way, mono or poly, Barbatos does not like to share. It's the greed in him. They're his, and no one else's.

Barbatos would be very VERY resistant to entering a relationship in the present time mainly because he's dedicated himself to Diavolo. He knows his partner would not be able to be his top priority no matter how much he loves them, and not many people would be okay with that.

Barbatos used to be very sexually promiscuous in his younger years, but now he's completely closed off simply because has a reputation to protect for Diavolo. He doesn't want any jilted lovers/ex-lovers to try to cause trouble for the Prince of the Devildom simply to get back at Barbatos. Also, the man has no time for shenanigans.

If someone does manage to worm their way into his heart, it would be very slowly, over many years without him noticing until he suddenly realizes one day that he'd be lost without them. It'd be jarring for him, to say the least.

Barbatos is canonically VERY romantic. He's a giver, and his love language is acts of service. That includes not only errands/duties/chores/meals/dates, but also physical acts of service (massages, orgasms, etc.).

Loves LOVES to give oral. He loves making his lover(s) putty in his hands (think service dom).

Lots of kissing. So so much kissing. He's gonna worship every inch with his mouth and tongue.

Definitely does have a kinky side, but it only comes out to play with someone he really REALLY trusts.

He'd be down for nearly everything. Bondage, anal, edging, etc. He can even be a mean dom if you ask him really nicely (he needs to believe you REALLY want it before he lets that old side of himself come out to play); however, the only things I can see him having a hard no on would be anything in a public space where there's a chance of being seen/caught (remember he's worried about reputation) and hard degradation via name-calling (sorry, I just can't picture it - he'd respect his partner too much regardless of whatever nasty kinky stuff they do together).

Will most definitely use his tail on himself and his partner(s).

If his lover is human, he'd be constantly keeping himself (and his strength) in check out of fear of hurting them.

He'd be big on consent. He's a master at reading body language; the slightest hint of distress and he's stopping everything immediately. He's not one to lose himself in the moment.

However, this doesn't mean he doesn't have the capacity to be passionate; it's just that his passion can be a bit strong, so he's always worried about overwhelming his partner. But if his partner can handle it, then it'd open up an entirely different side of him.

Despite his capacity for kinky shenanigans, Barbatos's favorite type of intimacy with his partner will be more vanilla and filled with lots of love and affection. So think lazy oral on the bed or couch in the privacy of his room, missionary so he can see your face and feel your legs wrap around him, and you in his lap so he can let you have control and wrap his arms tight around you.

Barbatos is the KING OF AFTERCARE. Baths, tea, cakes, warm blankets, firelight, soft touches, gentle massages, kisses to your cheeks, your temples... and very heartfelt verbal confessions of his love for you.

Will snuggle you tightly after all is said and done.

Loves watching you sleep while he holds you in his arms.

He'd never say it out loud because he doesn't want to burden you, but getting up early each morning and leaving your warmth is the most painful, torturous thing for him.

#arvandus answers #oh god #oh jesus #this got so big I'm so sorry #a;sldfkajd;s #you opened up a can of worms anon #and ALL OF THE HYPERFIXATION SPILLED OUT #barbatos obey me #obey me barbatos #barbatos #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me nb #barbatos x mc #barbatos x you #barbatos x reader #barbatos x y/n #barbatos headcanons #obey me headcanons

[miss0atae]

I finally watched the final episode of DFF and I can say the ending is very satisfying, except for my poor White. I thought he would be the final survivor but he died anyway (let me mourn in silence 😭).

▪️ Non was avenged for everything, if you believe death is the perfect revenge. Fluke and Top killed themselves in some way. White was killed by his lover. Phee stopped New and killed him too. Everyone killed each others and had to face Non before dying (except White because he never knew him and was innocent… Yes I still can't accept his death. 😅)

▪️ I know the ending of this episode was a bit controversial but I believe it was interesting. I like how they made us believe, at first, Phee, Jin and Tee got away from this house and carried on with their life (except Tee, but I want to talk about this after). The normalcy of Phee and Jin life seemed truly unlikely the more they talk to each other. The color was so bright, it hurt. It felt surreal. Then they went to the place where Phee brought his two lovers and after witnessing Non, he started questioning everything and it ended right here. There is no mistake. They never left and the final image is their last resting place: the house! I found this very poetic, in some way.

Now I wanna talk about each character's ending and if it was fitted with their behavior towards Non.

▪️ Fluke never did post the video and just witnessed everything and never tried to save Non. He believed himself to be innocent in some way, because he was never the one who did anything. He was just there, following the rest of the group. He was a coward and probably (I don't know if it was implied as heavily as viewers think) relieved the group had someone else to bully. His death was fitting to mee*. He wanted to act like he never saw anything, well he didn't need his eyes anymore. Why needing eyes when you want to be blind to everything that is not you. I also don't forget how much of a bully he was also to White (Have I told you how I was protective of him? 😂). He may have not been the meanest to Non but he became also like the rest of the group after Non's disappearance. I've heard a victim of bullying often becomes a bully and you can see it with Fluke.

▪️ Top was just a nasty being. He never had any ounce of kindness and I'm surprised he survived so long. I couldn't stand him. Every time I saw his smirk I got annoyed. He was an active bully against Non. He called him "Greasy" anytime he could. He lied and used him too. I also think he never really tried to cover his wrong doings. He never minded using the wit of others to save him. He never cared about ensuring their plans would work. He thought himself to be a leader but was mostly a follower. I think his death could have been worse. Something that would match his actions more.

▪️ White, my innocent poor boy who just made the mistake of loving the wrong person, he didn't deserve his death at all. He just wanted to spend time with Tee and love him. He was faithful, kind and a bit naughty but in the good way (the candy scene!). Dying by the hand of your lover… It's just sad. Tee killed him because he thought it was Non and when he realized it, it far too late. I don't like the narrative for White. He got punished for loving the wrong guy and it doesn't sit well with me. His mistake was a small one and it was also because he never had a way to know. I don't know how the writers could have saved him because it wouldn't work well in this story, but I still don't like it. I wish I could find a good ending for him that would go well with the story, but I can't imagine anything.

▪️ New died because of Phee and it was expected. As someone said here, he was a dead man walking. He had only one goal and no one to wait for him outside. His desperation was his only fuel. He wanted to avenge his brother and it didn't matter who was in the middle of this revenge. If he survived, it would have not worked. He had to die to put a final stop to this story. It's sad to believe his entire family and himself died because of a group of self-absorbed brats. He did what he had to and left with the feeling his work was done.

▪️ Now I have to talk about Phee… How the mighty have fallen. He was the previous lover and he acted like he wanted to avenge Non. His actions at the beginning of the story showed him to be the mastermind until we discovered it was New. From that moment, his actions seemed different and less pro-actives. He wanted to save Jin (which could be understandable because he was his lover… You know feelings and everything can get in the middle of a quest for truth) but why did he want to save the bullies of his past lover and even said he consider them as friends?! That's where I started to think Phee was lost. I admit he never said he wanted to act on them. He wanted the truth, while New wanted to make them pay. Phee probably would have given the info to the authorities and expected them to take the lead there.

▪️ Jin, in his hallucination, saw himself being filmed by others while he was having sex. It's a direct link to what he did to Non. He filmed him and released the clip online. He had a weird relationship with cameras. On one hand it was his hobby and on the other hand it was also a "weapon" he used to express his jealousy towards Non. He had a crush on him and he wanted him but instead Non was with Keng. He was jealous and felt betrayed (even though he never did anything to make his feelings really known by Non) and he wanted to hurt him the way he felt he was hurt by Non. So for him to hurt his hand was the appropriate punishment. Without a hand you can't act on your "ill-feelings" and you also lose the opportunity to use it for good things anymore (such as taking pictures as a form of art).

▪️ As for Tee, it was the most fitted punishment. He couldn't deserve the happiness of being loved and in love because of his actions because he had taken Non away from being loved and in love too. Losing the reason he started to act better and rethink his life, is a true retribution. I also felt his relationship with Non was the most interesting. There was this tension between them, especially when Non ended up at the service of his Uncle. Tee was in hell and instead of trying to find a way out, he dragged Non along with him, while still thinking he had no other choice. Tee grew up in a toxic environment, but we saw he could find a way out when surrounded with the right opportunity such as his meeting with White. The fact he met White, while finding a way to help Non get away from his Uncle is proof how "good" actions can lead to even better things while "bad" actions, like making Non being the scapegoat for the broke camera, leads to worse things. To be honest, the false ending of Jin, Phee and him being away from the house, is the best punishment for his actions if the idea is to really punish him. He is alive, but he has to live with the idea of killing his love and losing his so-called friends. He then get consumed by his thoughts. Very gothic!

To finish, I would like to say I had so much fun watching this series, reading about it here and writing the longest texts in English I've ever made. Even having people commenting on them and being able to exchange was truly a delight. I liked everything. I'm a bit sad it's already the end. I hope we'll get to watch the actors in other series. I found most of them to be good. I also like how this BL breached out of the typical BL's stories (even if I still enjoy them too). I like when they try to innovate and create something different. Let's hope we'll get another one soon as entertaining and compelling as this one. Thanks for the ride.

#my thoughts #thai series #thai bl #bl drama #bl series #random thoughts #dff the series #dead friend forever the series #dead friend forever #dff spoilers #episode 12 #final episode #be on cloud #It was a satisfying ending #I'm still crying over White's death 😭 #I don't mind if none of the theories was right it was so much fun to imagine them #Saturday will be different without DFF

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Part two thoughts on an ani x bpd reader? Like, when things get that bad, does either of them wake the fuck up and realize things need to change? Remorse or guilt? The reader leaving? Ani leaving or falling into a self loathing hole, doing bad stuff again and again whether to himself or reader) and not taking care of himself?

It’s interesting to read some of your takes on BPD relationships, because I obviously have no idea what that’s like, but you do. You can make it seem very addicting, but also very terrifying and unhealthy, depending on which way the pendulum swings (I hope you take that as a compliment. Tone is hard through text. Lol. 😅).

I personally do not believe abuse is justified in any situation, whether you have a disorder or not. There’s lots of ways to deal with feelings without taking it out on someone else. On the other hand, I know some BPD’s have described feeling horrified with themselves after an episode like that, and so I’ve never really known just how much ‘control’ someone has in that moment. Either way, I still believe it’s the person’s responsibility to find a way to deal with it. Nobody deserves to be miserable around them just because they can’t handle something.

Anyway, I kind of went off on a rant. Apologies. Lol. My main request was for a part two of Ani x BPD reader! ❤️🫶✨

Not offended at all bby.

I think after I’m done with stalker!ani I’ll write a fic on this. Just cause so many people have asked about it.

100% BPD X BPD would be a terrible pairing. Coming from me as a bpd gal.

Now, personally, I’ve never physically abused anyone during an episode. But I HAVE done lots of property damage and I also broke my hand when I used a concrete wall as a punching bag. I split a wooden bat at the tip from whacking a fence once.

When it gets that bad, I don’t really remember what I said or did. I just feel really jittery, almost like an extreme caffeine high you know? (Imagine old cartoon character drinking coffee and their whole body vibrates, eyeballs and all)

But if it doesn’t get to that point, which it rarely does now that I’m medicated correctly and have a good support system, I IMMEDIATELY feel regret. Like horrible sorrow. Bpd means big feelings and when I feel regret, which isn’t often, it feels like I’m grieving a death that I’m to blame for.

For the smaller, more snappy or short outbursts:

My mouth works faster than the logical part of my brain that tells me not to say something mean.

Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of saying something awful and then I just have to finish it because the damage is done and I may as well spit it out. Then I’ll lock myself in the bathroom for an hour until I’ve hyped myself up enough to apologize, then I’ll go back to the bathroom until the big feelings from my apology die down. I’ll be quiet, basically selectively mute for the rest of the day and be super irritable.

It’s exhausting. But it’s even more exhausting to have to continually remind myself not to spew the first thing that pops into my head or not to chuck the bag of shredded cheese at the wall because I can’t get the ziploc to open.

It’s so stupid that something so small as getting my hairbrush stuck on a knot in my hair could set me off into a teeth gritting, foot stomp and shriek. Like wtf? That’s embarrassing. But it happens before I can even think about what I’m doing.

The best way I can describe it is: I’m a bratty toddler when it comes to emotional regulation.

But you’re so right tho, your illness doesn’t give you an excuse to be an ass. It just proves the person doesn’t want to put in the work to get better if they use it as a justifying reason.

BPD might cause my reactions, but I’m in charge of my actual actions. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to recognize that though. I’m an adult now, I’m medicated, I’ve spent my fair share of days in the loony bin. Looking back at my teenage self? It’s horrific and sad. For me and everyone around me back then.

#anakin fanfiction #star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars #anakin x you #sw anakin #darth vader #darth vader smut #actually bpd #bpd vent

[imeanitplsmorenamifics]

hiii! do you think you could do “delicate” with sanji? <3

Hi! I can definitely do Delicate with Sanji for you! This request comes off more as a headcanon post than an actual written-out one-shot so I hope you don’t mind that! If you do then message me and I can rewrite it for you! My notes for this were actually pretty extensive so it was probably the easiest to write. I hope you enjoy it! You can find my Flower Asks here, Hozier asks are here, and my Taylor Swift Asks here. You can find my masterlist here and my rules here. And you can request here! Delicate: You’ve both had rough lives. You always make sure the other is comfortable. Characters: Sanji, GN!Reader Pairing: Sanji x GN!Reader

Delicate

.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.

• To say you had a life of smooth sailing was an understatement (Well, for the most part). It wasn’t so much your childhood that was bad, but your dating life definitely was. • You had a relationship with this one guy that was seemingly perfect. You were on the same pirate crew, so you got to be together all the time. Everything was going well… Until it didn’t. • You found him badmouthing you to someone and then started kissing them. That’s right, he was cheating on you. From the way he was talking to the person, he’d been cheating on you since not long after your relationship. • You were betrayed. How could he do that to you? Did everything he said mean nothing to him? It sure felt like it now. He was probably leading you on so he could have someone to come back to if he struck out with someone else. • You didn’t just cry after this news. You sobbed. You sobbed your heart out, and you did it so much and for so long that everything hurt afterward. But now that you had your tears out, you could face him. • The easiest thing was breaking up with him. He didn’t try to fight it at all. He accepted it. This definitely sent a pang to your heart. Something hurt even worse. • After everything ended, he went around spreading lies about you. He told everyone you broke up because you were the one cheating. You were the one cheating and the one messing around with other people. • Everyone treated you horribly after this. They would call you names. Some would do it to your face, while others would do it when they thought you weren’t listening. They would hide your stuff or even throw it overboard, telling you to swim for it. • Your crew eventually ended up at a restaurant in the middle of the ocean called the Baratie. That’s when you met one of the cooks named Sanji. • He was charming. He flirted with a lot of women on the crew, but he seemed to flirt with you the most out of everyone. Something about him drew you to him in a way you couldn’t explain. • When you realized that you were slowly falling for him after many moments alone, you tried your best to push those feelings down. You could not fall in love again. Not after what happened the last time. • But something about the way he stood up to the rumors about you made your heart swell. He didn’t believe a word of them. He refused to take anyone’s words about you until he heard from you about what happened. • He was understanding when he heard about everything. He expressed his interest in you, and you told him that you just weren’t ready yet. And he understood. • He didn’t push you to get together with him. He took things slow. He only gave you affection if you initiated it first or if you gave him the okay. • There were no mentions of being a couple unless you brought it up. • The way he was so attentive to you made you fall for him even more. • When you were ready, you started up a relationship, and everything was perfect, • Upon entering the relationship, you found out that Sanji had some insecurities himself. • He was scared that you would leave him. Not because he believed the rumors about you, he believed everyone would leave him. It hurt you to hear his inner thoughts about the topic. • That was when you made a decision. Anytime he brought up his insecurities about you leaving him, you did everything you could to make him believe that it was all in his head. • You would give him words of encouragement. You would make plans for the future and make sure you included him in them. You would make promises that both of you knew would only be completed if you stayed together. • This relationship was truly the best for both of you after life had decided to be cruel to you two.

#one piece #opla x reader #one piece live action #one piece netflix #one piece x reader #opla #opla sanji x reader #one piece headcanons #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji #opla sanji #sanji #sanji vinsmoke x reader #taylor swift #taylor's version

[lala3244]

A long year

Second request from @venture-venus!

~I am not sure about this fic? I think it could be better but I never know how to improve what I have already written! Also I am always impatient to post it! I think the characters are a bit ooc, as usual! I also wrote some personal life stories, I am sure they can be spotted 😂~

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Another idea I had (and I’m unsure if you done this was) what if the brothers didn’t like the mc? Logically speaking we were a forced errand for them to do, imagine having to live with a total stranger for a whole school year. They’re all kinda resentful to them and Mc is gonna be on guard cause like come on- we kinda just got kidnapped to hell, so we’re gonna be a bit distant and nice (cause we still are gonna be nice but we wanna survive). School year goes on and the brothers arnt the nicest to the Mc. Obviously we arnt gonna stand for that and we distance ourselves (still being respectful), but one day they see us hanging with the exchange students or some RAD student and get jealous realizing how messed up they been treating us. Like imagine the Mc calling them by their official titles like “Lord” or “Avatar of ______”, to be respectful but distant.

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warning: angst, loneliness.

Loneliness. You have known it all your life, you had thought after your kidnapping in the Devildom, it would change. That demons might find you interesting but no, it was the same as in the human realm. You lived with the brothers since your arrival. You tried to start conversations with them but they didn’t seem interested in you so you stopped trying after a couple of days. It was going to be a long year, well, you survived middle school for four years where you were ignored by your friends because the new girl that year was more interesting than you, where your friends told you that they didn’t want to hang out with you anymore, where you would eat alone, where your other friends had different classes so you would find yourself alone a lot and it carried on into your adult life. By now, you were sort of immune to it even though you always hoped, every time you went somewhere new, it would change but it never did. Every night, you would lock yourself in your room after dinner and didn’t come out until breakfast. You would follow the brothers to RAD like a good little dog then they would leave you without a word. Some days you didn’t mind but other days, you would hide in the toilets and cry. You felt stupid to cry for people you barely knew but being ignored every day would start to weigh on you at some point. 

One day, as you looked at the group leaving you without a glance at you, tears started to well up and before you had time to go to the toilets, they started to fall. As you ran to the bathroom, you bumped into Simeon, the oldest angel. He stopped you in your tracks and made you face him. He had witnessed the whole inexistant interaction between you and the demons. He hugged you and you let yourself cry in his arms. You actually didn’t really know who it was but it didn’t matter, someone was worried about you and was hugging you. When you stopped crying, he pulled away. You were glad it was him. You liked him, he had always been kind to you but you never really had the chance to talk to him more. “I’m sorry, Simeon.” You sniffled and he gave you a tissue. “Don’t apologise. I can’t believe they just leave you alone!” You shrugged. “You know they do that every day, right?” He froze and his eyes widened. “What do you mean, every day?” You looked at the sweet angel and smiled. “Never mind. Thank you for earlier. I feel better.” He grabbed your hand. “If you need to talk, I am here. Please, don’t hesitate, okay?” You nodded, blushing because of his sweet gesture. “Come, I’ll walk with you to your next class.” You talked for a bit and swapped numbers. You felt so much better, you had made your first friend! 

For the next class, the professor announced that you had to pair up with someone. You looked at your notebook, you knew that no one would want to pair with you but you were surprised when you felt a hand on your shoulder. It was a demon that was in a lot of your classes and she seemed nice. You knew she had many friends so you were wondering why she would want to work with you but you happily agreed when she asked. She sat down next to you and you started to work on your assignment. She was really nice and smart. She knew the subject and she would answer patiently all the questions you had. When the class was over, she asked if you wanted to work on it more at the library after school as she was going to meet up with some friends to study. You agreed and after this every time you had the same class she would sit with you. 

You arrived at the library and she was there, surrounded by her friends. You got intimidated. You had recognised a few demons that was quite famous in all the Devildom. You just knew there were from powerful, older families. When your friend saw you, she greeted you with a big smile and made a sign for you to come over. She introduced you to everyone. Everyone was welcoming, they introduced themselves and asked a lot of questions about you and how you were doing in this strange world. You told them that you had found it difficult to make friends and they reassured you that you were welcomed with them any time. You smiled at that and you spent the rest of the time, talking and laughing with them. They even decided to walk you home as it wasn’t safe for you to walk alone and none of the brothers had waited for you when you weren’t at the entrance of RAD at the end of the day. You were hurt that they didn’t even check to see if you were alright when you checked your phone. You were actually angry and mad at them. For months now, you had been on time to walk with them and the one time you didn’t, they left without you?! You thanked your new friends and you walked inside the house. you went straight to your room and didn’t leave for the night, not even for dinner. As you expected, nobody came to see if you were alright or just to tell you that dinner was ready. Now, you really knew that they really didn’t care about you. That was proof. You called Simeon and asked if he could come and walk with you tomorrow. He, of course, agreed and didn’t ask any questions, he understood the why. 

Simeon came early the next day and he invited to have breakfast in a coffee shop near RAD. When you sat down, with your drink and your cake, you looked at the angel and wondered if you could trust him with your problems. He smiled at you sweetly and you decided that you could. “Thank you again for coming to pick me up. I can’t deal with the brothers anymore.” You started sobbing. He moved his chair next to yours and wrapped his arms around your body. He rubbed your back while rocking you side to side and he carried on even after you calmed down. You hated yourself to be so weak especially in a world where you are surrounded by predators but it’s been months now and you couldn’t wait to go back to your old life now. You wished you had met your new friends earlier, maybe the last few months would have been better. Simeon pulled away slightly, his arms still around your body. “I’ve heard yesterday they left without you?” You nodded while sniffling. “How did you go home?” You chuckled “ I made some friends, they walked with me.” You wiped your face with the napkins that were on the table. “I see. That could be dangerous you know?” You looked at him, still wiping your face. “Really? More dangerous than alone or with the brothers? Who would care if anything happened to me anyway? Especially here?” He pushed your shoulder so you were facing him. “Me, I would care.” You smiled tightly at him “Maybe, but you would be the only one.” He shook his head and stood up. “Come on, it’s time to go to RAD.” You followed him, perplexed.

You were in front of Diavolo’s office. You were still wondering what was happening. Simeon knocked on the door and you waited for an answer. The door opened and you were greeted by the butler, Barbatos. He let you in and told you to sit on the chairs. Diavolo arrived shortly after and sat in front of you. “Good morning, Lord Diavolo! I am sorry to bother you early but did you hear about what happened last night?” Lord Diavolo looked at both of you confused while you were lowering your head, embarrassed. “No, I didn’t!” Simeon cleared his throat. “Do you ask the brothers how, we, the exchange students, are doing?” Diavolo nodded. “What do they say?” Diavolo smiled. “That you are doing well. That you have a good time, here, in the Devildom.” You laughed. “How would they know that?!” The young Prince looked at you, surprised. “What do you mean?” You kept laughing, tired. “Did you know they left without me last night? They didn’t even check if I was okay. They didn’t even check if I went back home last night and they dare say I have a good time?! Do you know I never talk to them? Do you know they ignore me all day long? You forced me onto them and I guess they resent me and don’t even try to make an effort.” You stopped when you realised who you were talking to and who you were talking about. You looked sheepishly at Lord Diavolo. “I’m so sorry I know they are your friends and I shouldn’t say stuff like that about them. Forget I said anything. I only have a few months left, I don’t want to make my life more difficult because I complained to you.” The future king nodded, understanding your feelings. “Okay, I won’t say what you said to me but I will have a talk with them.” You left and went to your first class. After your talk with the young Prince, life at the House of Lamentations was a little easier. They started to talk to you. They made an effort during breakfast and dinner to include you in small talks. You answered them quietly, sometimes with a follow-up question, you didn’t want them to be mad at you because you ignored them but actually you were used to not talking to them and now it bothered you to do it. They also waited for you after class and if you were late, they would call you.

Tonight, it was your friend's birthday. You couldn't wait to go out! You haven't tested the nightlife in the Devildom yet. You were going to a club The Fall, apparently it was famous in the whole Devildom. She had invited all of RAD, included the brothers. You laughed at her when she told you. "They won't come especially if I am there!" She snickered. "Oh, you'll see they can't say no to a good night out and believe me if you come they'll come too." You looked at her, frowning but she changed the subject.

So you were getting ready in your room. You had gone shopping with your new group of friends, you wanted to get ready with them as they had planned to meet up at your friend's house first but Lucifer had forbidden it. He wanted all of you to go together to The Fall. You found it suspicious but you didn't protest. You were actually scared of the first born. He always had a menacing aura around him when you were near him as if just your presence was annoying him. So you were in your room blasting some human music, not giving a damn about what they would say and you hoped they wouldn't dampen your good mood. When you had your outfit on, you videocalled your friends. You couldn't be physically with them but you still wanted to partake in the festivities they had going on. You heard a knock while you were watching your friend opening some presents before they left for the club as the presents were part of an outfit she had to wear for the evening. You got startled by the knock, it was the first time that someone did it and you weren't used to the noise. It shocked you so much that you dropped your D.D.D and accidentally ended the call. You cursed at yourself and opened the door. You were shocked to see Mammon and Asmodeus, all dressed up in front of you. You actually didn't know what to do. They pushed you out of the way and sat down on your bed. They had a bottle of Demonus and three glasses with them. Mammon opened the bottle and poured its contenant in the glasses and gave one to you. They still hadn't say a word. "hmm... Hi! What are you doing?" They looked at you with big smiles. "Don't ya have that in the human world? Pre-drinks before a night out?" You looked at them, dumbfounded. "W-well, yes." You wanted to say more but held your tongue as you wanted to have a nice night out and you didn't want to argue with anyone. Mammon was still holding the glass "Take it." You grabbed it and took a sip. It wasn't bad. "It's nice what is it?" Asmo was the first to answer "Demonus, I believe it doesn't affect humans as it does demons but we don't have anything else for you." You smiled "It's okay, thank you anyway." Asmo stood up and made you turned around which you did, surprised. "Hang on, it needs some adjustments." He fiddled with your clothes for a few seconds and you noticed that the fabric was less loose and fitting you more where it needed. You looked at yourself in the mirror. " Thank you Asmo! It does look better!". He laughed, "Of course, hon. What were you listening earlier? It was good, can you put it on?" You nodded and went to put the music on. You didn't really talk and enjoyed the music with the two demons while sipping your demonus. Lucifer knocked on your door, it was time to go to the club.

You arrived at the same time as your group of friends and you left the brothers to greet them. You did to them the same as they did during all those months and you couldn't care less. You didn't see but your friends did, how the brothers looked hurt that you left them and they all smirked knowing how they did the same to you for months. You went inside, still oblivious of what was happening. Your friend grabbed your arm when you entered and walked you to the bar. "They have human alcohol, I think! Let's order you some. It's my birthday, you drink with us too!" You laughed and agreed. You asked the bartender what choice they had and you chose the drink you hated the less. All your friends joined you and you cheered a happy birthday with everyone. You liked the music they were playing so you went dancing. At first, you were alone but some of your friends went over to accompany you. You were doing silly moves with them and laughing. Some of the brothers joined you too but you ignored them. You were having too much fun to be bothered with them. After a few hours, Lucifer asked all of you to go home and you argued with him. It might have been the alcohol or that you were tired, you didn't know but you wanted to stay. One of your friends, a noble demon from one of the oldest families in the Devildom came to your rescue, argumenting that he would look after you and coming from his family, he wouldn't mess up because his reputation was at risk if anything would happen to you. Lucifer reluctantly agreed and you highfived your friend. You stayed late to the club and then stayed at your friend's house. You woke up with a headache and you were wondering where you were. You didn't recognise the room and suddenly you got scared. Snippets from last night kept coming back to you and you remembered the argument with Lucifer. You groaned at the memory and he looked pissed. You looked around and saw a form on the bed next to you. You squinted your eyes to see if you recognised who it was and to your relief it was your friend. You tried to wake her up but she wouldn't bugde. You had to go to the bathroom and obviously you didn't know where it was. You tried to find your phone and were glad that it was on the bedside table. You grabbed it and looked at the time. It was late morning and you saw a lot of notifications. You opened them and they were all from the brothers. Where are you? Why won't you answer your phone? Answer... You supposed you had to answer, at least, to one of them.

I am at my friend's house. I was alseep.

Lucifer answered back.

You come back now.

You shook your head.

No one is awake yet and I don't know where I am actually.

Not a second later.

You are at the birthday girl's house? I am coming.

You groaned. You stumbled out of the bed, trying not to wake up your friend. She woke up. "Hey! What are you doing?" You were trying to find your shoes with the light of your D.D.D., apparently you took them off but you still slept in your outfit. "Lucifer is coming to pick me up." She stood up. "Seriously? He knows where I live?" You shrugged. "Yeah, Weird right?". The door bell rung. "Ah! That must be him! I'll see you at RAD. Thank you for last nice it was great!" You rushed to the door and it was Lucifer. He looked inside the room when you opened the door then his gaze fell on you. You must look like a mess as you didn't have time to wash up, the hungover look is never a good look for anyone.

He didn’t say anything the whole time you walked back to the House of Lamentations and you swore he didn’t take that long to arrive. You didn’t really know why he wanted you to come home. It was not like you had something planned with them anyway. You finally arrived after felt like hours of walking. Demons on the street would wave at you and talk to you. Lucifer would pull you by the arm. “Sorry, they can’t talk right now.” You were stunned by the sudden attention. You looked at Lucifer who seemed to know what was happening, you never really talked to him alone like that you didn’t know how to call him. “Sir? May I ask what is happening?” He turned to face you. “Sir? Hmmpf. You gained some popularity last night.” You frowned. “WHAT?!” He pushed you in front of him so you would enter the house. Asmo was waiting for you at the door and he squealed when he saw. “Hon! You are so famous right now! Look!” He showed you the video that made you popular. It actually was on the website of a famous tabloid. You were wondering who had been filming you dancing on the dancefloor dancing stupidly with your friends. You weren’t doing anything special but the video had thousands and thousands of views and comments. You read some of the comments and you were surprised by how nice they actually were. You gave the D.D.D back to Asmodeus and shrugged. “Ok, it’s a weird to become viral.” The Avatar of Lust jumped excitedly. “You have to make a devilgram with me! We’ll have so much likes and comments.” You stared at the demon. “I’m sorry but no, Sir.” Everyone stopped what they were found when you said the word “sir”. Asmo was shocked by your blunt refusal. “What do you mean no? And since when do you call me “sir”?” You started to walk to your room. “Since you’ve never showed any interest in me for months. Now I have friends and “popular”, you are? I don’t think so.” You opened the door to your room and grabbed some fresh clothes and took a shower. The headache subsided after the shower.

the following weeks were uneventful. You still barely talked to the brothers and you would spend most of your time with either your group of friends or with the other exchange students. You had noticed the Avatars trying to include you more with their activities but you would declined. For months, they ignored you and for the few weeks that was left, you didn’t want to get close to them. It was hard enough to leave your friends, you didn’t want it to be harder but you could see their efforts and sometimes you would acknowledge them by actually doing something with them. For example, Satan had learned that you loved reading. He would leave books by your room that he thought could interest you so when you finished one, you would give it back to him and talked about it for a couple of hours with him. You were a bit wary of him as a lot of people told you he would get mad easily but the few times you had talked to him, he had been really nice and would listen attentively to your comments on whichever book. Asmodeus had apologised lots of times by words or by giving you skincare products he thought would be good for your type of skin. Leviathan had heard you liked video games, especially the ones he liked so he would text you to come over. You had refused at first but then you realised that was what most people had done to you your whole life and knowing how shy and introverted the otaku was, for him to be the one asking you to do something was a huge effort so you accepted and you actually had fun. The others were less obvious but if you were in a room other than your own, they would also be there either one at a time or all together. They always started the conversation and you would indulge them. They weren’t that bad now that you knew them a bit more but you didn’t want to be friends with them. They were just your housemates and you didn’t need it to be more. You were just happy, now, with how things were. There were only a few days left before you had to go back to the human realm. You were getting impatient! You couldn’t wait to go back home, to see the sunlight everyday again, to eat human world food. You were laughing and talking all day long with your friends even though your joy to leave was contagious, they were crushed that you had to leave so soon after they got to know you. You were oblivious to the sadness that had been surrounding you, from your friends, from the brothers and even from the demons whom you barely knew. They would glance at you when you walked by and they followed you with their eyes until they couldn’t see you anymore. Your shining soul, which was engraved in their minds, would be missing in their everyday life.

The day before you were to leave, your friends invited you to dinner in the nicest restaurant that existed in the Devildom. You had never been and always wanted to. You had such a nice time, the food was so delicious. They had brought some gifts, small, meaningful presents that were memories of the times spent with them then they decided to go to The Fall, for a last night out together. When you entered, everyone was looking at you as if they were waited for you and they yelled “surprise!” You laughed. You were, indeed, surprised. One of your friends pushed you on the dancefloor where everyone moved so you could walk to the center. The friend signalled to the DJ and it was your favourite song playing. You looked around and your friend grabbed your hand. You didn’t want to dance with everyone watching but she insisted so you laughed and started dancing. Everyone cheered and started dancing around you. You danced for a few songs then you went to sit down on one of the couches. Lucifer, whose stare never left you since you entered, approached you and sat down. “So… you are leaving tomorrow.” You nodded and smiled. “I guess, you can’t wait?” You turned to face him. “Yes! I miss home and human food.” You giggled. “And my family also.” He smiled. “I understand. I would be the same.” People kept coming over to talk to you but Lucifer would stare them down before they even get a chance to say a word. “I’ve heard Lord Diavolo is going to ask you to come back next year.” You laughed. “Oh no! I don’t think so!” His face soured and you didn’t understand why. “Do you want me to come back?” He nodded and looked around. “Yes, I think my brothers and I would like it if you were to come back.” You were taken aback by his confession. “Really?” He nodded again. “We realised we didn’t treat you well and we saw how well you fitted in without us. We…, well, I would like a second chance.” You looked at him to see if he was serious. After a few seconds, you looked away. “I don’t know Lucifer. I spent the first few months alone. I don’t know if I can do it again.” He grabbed your hands. “I swear you wouldn’t be. Your friends will still be there and you will have us. I promise.” You squeezed his hands. “I don’t know. I have to think about it.” He let go of your hand. “I understand. Take the time you need.” He stood up and let you alone as your friends came over to see you.

You had been in your home for a couple of weeks now. You had gone and seen your family, spent all your days outside, soaking in the sunlight, binging in human food. You were eating breakfast when there was a knock on your door. You opened it, wondering who could it be. You froze when you saw Lord Diavolo in front of you. “Good morning! I’m sorry for the impromptu visit.” You smiled and moved aside to let him in, you looked around to see if he was alone. “Barbatos is doing some errands. You have a lovely home.” You walked past him and brought him to the living room. “Please have a sit. Would you like something to drink?” You were embarrassed as you were still in your pjs but the Young Prince didn’t seem to mind. “Yes, I would love to!” So you got to your kitchen and you were running through your mind every possibility of why he was there. Once the drink was ready, you brought it to him. “There you go, I am happy to see you but why are you here?” He chuckled. “Yes, of course, you would wonder that. I didn’t have time to talk to you before you left. I was wondering if you would like to come back a second year in the Devildom?” You sat down next to him. “I-I… Lucifer told me you were going to ask me that but when you didn’t before I left I didn’t think about it and I’m not going to lie that last year was horrible.” His face saddened. “Yes, Lucifer had explained to me everything that had happened and I apologised. If I had known, I would have done something.” You shook your head. “It wasn’t your fault. They did the job you’d asked of them. They just didn’t make me feel welcome.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. “I know, the brothers they wanted me to show you something.” He pulled his D.D.D out and put a video on. It consisted of the brothers, each one talking to you about why you should come back. You had tears in your eyes and you were touched by their gesture. “I won’t lie, I am scared to go back, I don’t want to be alone again.” He took your chin with his fingers so you would look at him. “If that happens, I hope you’ll come and talk to me. If for one day, even an hour you feel lonely, I will make sure that they understand how they had failed me and more importantly you!” You laughed at his seriousness and his sincerity. “I will think about it.” He stood up. “That works for me. I’ll come back in a month.” He walked towards the door and you followed him. He turned around and hugged you. “But I do hope you’ll come back.” And he left without another word.

—————————————————————————

THE END

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me fandom #obey me fanfic #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me boys #obey me angst

[youcouldmakealife]

Liveblogging the End: Jared (103-105)

Okay, I am back to liveblog the end now that we are ACTUALLY approaching the end several...years...later.

Previous parts can all be found under the liveblogging the end tag in reverse chronological order.

And if you want to read along with me, the series page is here.

I am dropping the part summaries going forward, and instead you'll have random ass mini-essays on occasion, because I have Thoughts and Feelings and the like. Starting with one today, below the cut.

I paused the LBTE last time at part 102, because I realised we were, in fact, a long way off from the end, and I was going to finish the liveblog well before I finished the series. And I was…very right about that. It’s a good place to step back in, honestly: Jared’s just told Deslauriers about his relationship with Bryce (it went poorly), Bryce is about to tell the Flames about him and Jared (it will go poorly), and wedding plans are ramping up. Let’s step back to Alberta, everyone.

Here’s the thing about Jared Matheson: he’s beautiful, he’s smarter than most people around him (not all around him, as he believes, but most), he’s in the 0.001 percentile of hockey players worldwide, and he draws good, kind people around him like moths to his flame (also fellow hobgoblins, to be fair). And he thinks like a Mary Sue: ‘here I am, just this ordinary boy, totally unremarkable, why did Bryce Marcus just trip over his feet looking at me, must be a plot’ and then Bryce’s POV is ‘oh look, it’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen’.

Here’s the other thing about Jared Matheson. He’s the narrator of this story, but he’d be the first to tell you the true hero of this story is Bryce Marcus, and Jared’s The Love Interest. Of course, he’s not exactly the mute but there to look pretty and provide stakes love interest of action movies, or the longsuffering picking up after man baby partner of romantic comedies (…mostly), but he is, indubitably, the love interest of the Official Plotline. And fuck does Bryce love him.

I obviously did not know what I was getting into with Impaired Judgment (the series name that just keeps on getting more and more fitting). First off, I had zero handle whatsoever on Bryce. Jared’s voice I had pretty well from the get go — it changed, naturally, as he got older and more settled, and his ‘like’ per part ratio is down significantly at 24 versus 17 (Bryce actually uses it more than he does in dialogue, now), but I had Jared pretty well pegged.

Bryce Marcus. Holy shit man. That guy was a revelation to me as much as he was to Jared. Dude peeled off his layers like a fucking strip tease at the beginning of IJ(aoe) and then grew to be one of my kindest, most earnest, sweetest characters. What I thought was a trash son had only landed in the dumpster accidentally, and required a rescue.

I’m going to have other random little essays while I go through Liveblogging the End (actually for real this time), because this many words and this many years in, there’s obviously something that keeps me coming back to these boys every time I think I’ve reached a natural end to their story, one more step they have to take together before they’re through. But in the meantime, let’s get to the actual story, shall we.

103 - Exertion

Wedding planning feels particularly good when you’re doing it spitefully. Things Jared wasn’t overly concerned with are suddenly important. Fuck yes they’re going to wear tuxes and have the stupidly expensive catering Bryce wants. If Bryce wants a fucking ice sculpture in the middle of summer Jared would probably okay it right now, just as long as he could send a picture of it to Oilers PR.

One of my favourite things about Jared is how much spite he can inject into all his endeavours.

Bryce comes home after two hours, and Jared is given a pretty solid example of Chaz’s reports of the discrepancy between Bryce’s gloss on the phone with Jared versus Bryce in reality, because his face is a fucking thundercloud until he realises Jared’s looking at him, and once he does it gets very — neutral. The epitome of ‘fine’.

Bryce is still masking a LOT at this point in the narrative. It’s kind of crazy to me how far he’s come at this point and how far he’s still going to go.

Jared’s at least ninety percent sure people have recognised Bryce, so he keeps it low when he leans in while Bryce is taking a long-overdue water break, shirt plastered to his back, and says, “Is it weird to say you look hot when you’re punching things?”

Bryce laughs a little breathlessly. “You hate when I fight,” he says.

“Yeah, but when you’re fighting guys are throwing punches back,” Jared says. “And I kinda like your face.”

This is going to keep holding true, much to Jared’s chagrin. Well, chagrin about the fighting: he’s cool continuing to like Bryce’s face.

They do, however, fuck in their own shower — no matter how many times Jared swears they’re never going to do that again, usually while nursing a minor injury, he gets Bryce naked and wet in an enclosed space with him and things go badly. Well, they go badly for his self-discipline; they go pretty okay otherwise. Neither of them even need an ice pack after

The one lesson that is never learned in this narrative, but hey: no ice pack this time.

“Cool,” Jared says. “You still want that crazy expensive catering company?”

“I mean, you keep looking at price per person, but it’s not that much when we only have—”

“You can go ahead and book them,” Jared says.

*

“Hey, is mid-July too soon for the wedding? That huge lake house you thought it’d be cool to rent out just told mom they got a cancellation then.”

Jared would literally marry him tomorrow if Bryce wasn’t so aghast at the idea of eloping.

“I know we haven’t ironed out, like—” Bryce says.

“Book it,” Jared interrupts.

Their entire wedding comes together on the wings of spite and Bryce is kind of loving it, tbh.

“Liar,” Jared says.

“Mom,” Bryce complains.

“Bear, you know you’re a bad liar,” Elaine says.

One of Bryce’s best-worst feelings is when Jared and Elaine team up on him. His favourite people are united! Against him.

Erin drops the ‘I don’t know how hockey works’ b.s. while Elaine’s there, which is good, because if Jared had to tell her one more time that icing doesn’t persist during the power play, while he’s already grit-tooth watching the Flames kill it, well —

Jared should not kill his sister.

This act, which was used to bug the SHIT out of her father and brother, is permanently dropped when she gets together with Julius, and Jared and Don both have dramatic ‘I KNEW IT’ conversations with her.

“But you would have had to tell them before the wedding,” Elaine says. “And telling them affects your career more than his.”

“How?” Jared asks. “He’s the high-profile player.”

“That’s my point,” Elaine says. “There’s always going to be a team that thinks his play makes a potential scandal worth it.”

And that isn’t true of Jared. He honestly like — his dad’s been telling him that since before he was drafted, that a team might decide it wasn’t worth the PR headache, pissing off the homophobic fans. And he knew that, intellectually he knew his dad was right, it’s just — he didn’t expect it to go as bad as it did. Maybe that was naive.

Jared would self-describe as a pessimist, but he’s actually the optimist, between him and Bryce. And he’s usually the one who’s right about how things will go down, versus Bryce, who tends to fear the worst, but unfortunately that’s not always the case.

“I worried about him a lot growing up. I’m sure you can — I worried about Bryce a lot. And I don’t worry — I don’t worry about him in the same way now. And you’re a big part of why I don’t. So thank you for that.”

“I didn’t really do anything,” Jared says. “Like, he kind of — it’s all him. He’s the one who did all the work, you know?”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Elaine says, reaching out and squeezing his hand, and Jared squeezes back.

This is probably my favourite Jared and Elaine moment in the entire series. The utter RELIEF it has been for Elaine, Bryce having Jared in his life. That fear has been so ever-present since Bryce was a child, the weight of it coming off was immense. She still worries about him, obviously, but before, she was Bryce’s sole support. Him having Jared is such blessing to her.

“Why’re you still up?” Jared asks.

“Waiting for you,” Bryce says, but he doesn’t protest when Jared pokes him to their room, supervises him getting into bed. Bryce gets out a plaintive “Come to bed,” before he crashes hard, and Jared gets Gatorade — blue, because Bryce earned it — and aspirin, puts them on Bryce’s bedside table in case he wakes up dehydrated and sore, which Jared knows from experience he almost definitely will. And Jared’s never played the kind of minutes Bryce did tonight. He adds an extra aspirin, just in case.

Soft shit, Matheson.

104 - Ember

Two of them are vanilla because Jared’s selfish and Bryce isn’t there, and anyway, no one dislikes vanilla, so it’s a good flavour to have.

I have been asked about the cake reversal, because Bryce has stated that he liked vanilla best when Jared got him a cupcake for a birthday very early in their relationship, and I will say this: Jared was visibly nervous he got the wrong flavour and Bryce was lying to make him feel better. Jared even pegged it at the time. Also as soon as he realised he could have a non-traditional wedding cake he got excited.

(He DOES like vanilla ice cream best, but he is a chocolate cake guy. Jared’s a chocolate ice cream and vanilla cake guy. Complementary couple.)

“I brought guests!” Bryce tells him, Chaz and Ashley walking in the door before Jared can do more than throw the nearest blanket over himself, give himself a little dignity. Not that Chaz hasn’t seen him in less hundreds of times, but context. Plus Ashley hasn’t, and does not deserve to be unexpectedly subjected to it. He twists it so it covers his chest too. He’s sure Ashley isn’t going to be scandalised by his nipples or whatever, but still.

“Beautiful blanket toga,” Chaz says.

He is stunning in his attire.

“We just got the cake decided,” Jared says. “Chocolate and vanilla, which isn’t like, totally traditional—” he pretends he doesn’t see Bryce rolling his eyes at him. “But it’s not like, a cupcake cake or whatever, so.”

“Aw, I like those little cupcake towers,” Ashley says. “They’re super cute.”

VINDICATION FOR HALLA.

Bryce eats it up, and Jared can’t blame him, considering that’s like, his first enthusiastic Matheson reception, barring Erin the irritating shadow and devoted future sister-in-law. Plus her glaring crush when he first came onto the scene. Maybe Jared will amend that to adult Mathesons — though like, his grandma’s a Murray, not a Matheson, so maybe that’s the difference. No hobgoblin gene.

Jared has the hobgoblin gene from both sides, his grandma has simply bamboozled him into thinking she’s not a hobgoblin herself.

It’s going to cost an absurd amount for something Jared will probably never wear again, except maybe to Oilers charity stuff — and even then hopefully he’ll have put on enough weight it won’t fit — and Jared almost protests and puts his foot down on getting one off the rack, despite Bryce’s obvious horror at the idea, but then he gathers all his reserves of spite and lets it happen.

Bryce continues to be very grateful to Jared’s spite in this matter.

Small potatoes is a stupid term, Julius texts back ten minutes later, ten minutes Jared imagines he spent looking up whatever the hell that meant and then trying to figure out why that was a thing, and then throwing his hands up at the English language. It’s easy to imagine because Jared’s seen him do it multiple times before.

And to be fair, it is a pretty stupid term. Like, what is it comparing the small potatoes to? Big potatoes? A pumpkin?

It literally has no defined etymology and that makes me fucking mad. A good idiom requires a root MEANING, even if it’s no longer relevant to modern life. Fuck you small potatoes.

Jared snorts, then texts Julius with a mad face. “I can’t believe you’re sulking,” Bryce says. “I’m not,” Jared says, and then sends Julius three more mad faces and a I cooked for you ALL YEAR and I get nothing. Thank you for your congratulations, Julius sends back twenty minutes later. Whatever we both knew you were a lock., Jared texts back

I love their friendship. Julius is the friend Jared deserves.

It feels vaguely unethical for them to get preferential treatment when everyone’s supposed to be equal, but Jared doesn’t want some random person at City Hall recognising Bryce, so he’s not actually complaining.

Love Jared like ‘I recognise this is the sort of preferential treatment that leads to systemic inequality which is bad…but also I appreciate it’.

“We’re getting married in July,” Jared says, just to like — tell her. She doesn’t care, she’s just telling them how long it’s valid for so they don’t have to get a new one, but it’s just. It’s cool, saying it to someone.

“Congratulations,” she says, both like she says it a billion times a day, and like she means it, means it as much for them as anyone else, no more or less.

“Thank you,” Bryce says, and it’s stupid, but Jared has the sudden urge to take his hand, follows through on it. She knows they’re getting married, it’s not like a little hand holding is going to shock her. Once again, she doesn’t bat an eye.

But then also NOT getting different treatment is meaningful as hell too.

105 - Promise

It turns out while Bryce’s celebrity was kind of handy in getting some strings pulled at City Hall, it is a pain in the fucking ass when it comes to getting an officiant. Jared figured they could get Elaine or Bryce’s grandpa or someone to get a licence for it, like he’s seen before, keep it in the family, but Alberta’s a buzzkill on that one, and they have to go official.

I ALSO figured that and was displeased with the government of Alberta. (But when am I not, you know? If I get the fucking 'tell the Feds' ad one more time during a hockey game so help me--)

Jared doesn’t want to do that. Like, for one, Bryce is going to have a speech that’s a billion times more romantic and great even if he doesn’t put any effort into it — and Jared knows he’s going to put effort in it. Jared’s is going to be awful in comparison. Every time Jared tries to talk about his feelings, it ends up terrible and often insulting. Bryce deserves better.

Look at Jared trying to make this sound like he’s refusing for Bryce’s sake. (though he is right, it is typically terrible and insulting.)

“You know, the ‘I take you, blah blah blah,’” Jared says. “She just wanted to know if we wanted to personalise them. You’re supposed to save the long stuff for the reception, you know, not drag the wedding on too long.”

Did Jared trawl wedding sites explicitly for this ammo? Absolutely. He’s even got the links saved in case Bryce asks for sources. Sources say: don’t do anything that takes over a minute, it’s a bad idea, it’ll bore your guests.

Any sources that said otherwise naturally were discarded because they did not suit Jared’s purposes.

Raf seems like the kind of guy who’d like, light candles at dinner for ambiance, and Chaz is totally the kind of guy who’d buy Ashley flowers ‘just because’, all these things Jared is totally deficient at

He’s got it backwards: Chaz is candle guy, Raf is flowers just because guy. (And for her mom! And sister! Grace’s fam love Raf so.)

lean on your teammates for help, right? If you’re weak on the point, don’t go there, let a teammate more capable have that slot. Teamwork 101.

God I love Jared trying to hide his machinations with hockey talk, like that’s going to fool anyone.

“No,” Raf repeats. “You have to do your own wedding stuff.”

“It’s just my vows,” Jared says.

“That’s the most important part,” Raf says, sounding faintly scandalised.

Raf is more than faintly scandalized, honestly.

“You seem like a romantic guy,” Jared says to Chaz after they wrap up for the day.

“Oh fuck no,” Chaz says. “I’ve already heard like three drafts of BJ’s vows, there’s no way I’m listening to yours too.”

Three drafts? In two days? Jared’s fucked.

“I was going to ask you to help me write them?” Jared says.

“That’s so much worse, no way,” Chaz says.

And Chaz is done.

He looks up some sample vows on his phone while he’s making him and Bryce dinner that night, and they leave him red with secondhand embarrassment. He can’t imagine saying anything even close to what they say. There will be no ‘light of my life’ leaving his mouth, true or not.

Look at this dude just slipping in that Bryce is the light of his life. Two people making this relationship mushy, Jared.

Jared was always kind of, well — he was a studious kid. He got good grades. He prepared for classes. So it seems to make sense to make a list as a starting point. Sort of a ‘Pros and Cons of Bryce Justin Marcus, Except Just the Pros Because Our Wedding is a Dumb Time To Mention the Cons, Unless the Cons are Endearing Ones’.

Can you imagine this dude listing Bryce’s cons during his vows to be ‘fair’. Pro: excellent at hockey. Con: needs to work on controlling his temper on the ice. Pro: romantic as fuck. Con: romantic as fuck.

Fuck. He is not good at this. This is not his thing. The list part, sure, but not the conveying emotion part. He has a ton of emotions for Bryce, but like, saying them? Oof.

Big oof. Especially considering Jared’s history when trying to convey said emotions.

He’s definitely crazy in love to be thinking about Bryce at like, forty, having a shitfit because he’s starting to go bald, or grey, when he’s so vain about his — admittedly terrific — hair. Or Bryce at sixty, buying a convertible all over again and thinking he’s so cool, or at ninety, grin as shiny white as ever because his teeth are all fake, and still being like ‘yeah, I want that guy’.

We all know this man is due for another red convertible decades from now, Jared has resigned himself already.

Jared closes the doc — password protected or not, no way he wants Bryce to accidentally stumble onto that ridiculousness — unlocks the door to the spare room — he was maybe a lot paranoid about Bryce not stumbling in on the ridiculousness — and wanders into the living room after hiding his laptop in said spare room.

Jared treating his vows like state secrets while Bryce has already emailed Ashley like five different versions for peer review.

He’s having a lot of feelings lately. It’s very disorienting. Like, he always has feelings, obviously, he’s not a robot, but he’s having so many. Bryce always does this to him, dammit.

Thankfully ‘how dare you make me feel feelings’ did not make it to the final vows.

#liveblogging the end

[kyanitedreamer]

Alone Together

Hiei x (Fem)Reader

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Author’s Note: This fic came from the inspiration I got from reading other user’s works about Hiei and being such a huge fan of his character. Mainly written for me and my friend a fellow Hiei enjoyer, this is kind of a feel good type fic that has a lot of buildup playing on his curiosity and softer side. When I first wrote this I never thought about posting it anywhere, but the more I wrote the happier I was with it, and near the end I realized how proud I was of it and wanted to share it around. I may be posting another part or two, and if I do, feel free to send me an ask with suggestions if you liked this one :) enjoy!

TW: Blood, Hickeys, Biting, Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Pinning Down, Minors DNI, 18+

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Everyone had been asking why you were suddenly taking a different route home from class, not walking with your “friends”, and even going a good distance out of your way. Your explanation was always the same, that you just like being able to walk by the water - a lie of course. Your interest wasn’t so much the water glistening during the sunset, but a person who sometimes could be found there. Ever since you were young you’d seen and felt things you couldn’t explain, like the creature that knocked aside your parents car like a toy back when you were in middle school. Of course no one believed you, that your parent’s death in that crash was no accident, so you had learned to keep whatever you were seeing and feeling to yourself. Maybe that’s what drew you to him, the dark haired boy dressed in black, sometimes laying in the grass by the river other times miraculously standing on telephone poles nearby. You never really gave how he got up there much thought, all you knew was that like you, he seemed to be so alone.

Finally, you reach the river and like everyday, give a cautious glance around for the mysterious boy. Despite your numerous trips this way passing him, you’d never dared speak to him or even given him more than a passing glance. You’ve put yourself out there far too many times in an attempt to make friends, only to have your hand slapped away. It was enough that you and the boy could share in this moment of silence together as you strolled by, that, and your own imagination. But looking down the street you notice him, with a group, and your heart sinks. You retreat back behind the building, sliding down the side of it to sit on the ground, pulling your legs in. Of course he’s not alone, no one would be as lonely as you are.

You lean out from the side of the building to get a look at them all. The tallest one had orange hair in a pompadour, which was….certainly a style choice. Both him and the other dark haired guy looked rather plain, average even. The third guy had pretty features and long red hair, and then there was him. Though you’d never noticed before quite how short he is, it hardly seemed to matter, as his voice and demeanor easily dominated the conversation when he felt the need. You suddenly felt your face turning red, and realized you probably shouldn’t think about him and “dominate” in the same sentence. You shake your head to dismiss such thoughts and then you notice his ear twitch ever so slightly, he motions to turn his head but you’ve already retreated back behind the building. After a moment, you dare another peek and try to focus on what they’re saying, the boy seems to be disagreeing with something. Suddenly through the groups arguing you hear “C’mon Hiei”, which he seems to answer to.

“Hiei” you repeat back to yourself under your breath, though somehow he seems to have heard and whips around in place, and you can no longer be sure if he was able to see you as you darted back into hiding. Still you listen as they seem to resume talking, causing you to sigh in relief. You sit for a while with your eyes shut, listening for them to finally leave so you can finish walking home. Letting your mind wander, you think about how you’ll go about trying to approach him the next time you come this way. Not that you’d ever have the courage to do something as bold as that, besides you feel it’s doubtful he’d be interested in someone like you anyways.

After some time you hear them saying goodbyes and breathe a small sigh of relief, you open your eyes to get ready to go and yelp involuntarily. There Hiei stood mere inches from you, his stature meaningless since you are sitting on the ground. He stares daggers at you saying nothing, perhaps expecting you to merely flee yet you sit there frozen, staring at him as well like cornered prey. After a moment, your heart begins to pound in your chest, you’ve passed him countless times but never been this close. As much as you hate to admit it, you enjoy having him stand over you like this, right now he may as well be 8 feet tall. You yourself feeling so small and helpless, your mind spirals thinking about the possible things he could do to you. Suddenly, Hiei also blushes, seeming almost embarrassed and angry.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT??” he blurts out before turning around seemingly to hide his face as he seethes.

“I…what?”

“Listen girl, I’m a demon, it would take less than a second for me to kill you.” He says turning around and pointing at you accusingly. “The idea of what I could do to you that would stimulate your sexual human desires should be the last thing on your mind! Now who are you, why were you listening in on our conversation and what are you doing here?”

You sigh, tell him your name and continue on to explain everything, he listens but clearly seems annoyed nonetheless. It feels rather strange that Hiei was just a stranger a few minutes ago, yet you find yourself so comfortable with him, demon or no. Hiei is surprisingly silent even as you finish explaining, perhaps some part of him understands your feelings, or maybe he’s just being polite - not that he seems like the type.

“So, is it…still okay if I come this way after school? Maybe talk with you?” You ask sheepishly, Hiei merely giving a vacant stare as though considering it, he closes his eyes and turns away.

“Do whatever you want, but don’t say I didn’t warn you that demons can be dangerous, and if you talk don’t expect me to converse with you.” Turning just his head to look at you, Hiei appears to be deep in thought, hesitating even.

“What’s the matter?” You ask tilting your head to the side, confident that he’s merely trying to find the words.

“...What even is ‘making out’ anyways” he says plainly, causing you to snicker a bit but turn red once more all the same. “Those words seemed to cross your mind a lot when I read it earlier, so what is it?”

“Um, well…it’s like you touch your lips together in a kiss but like, over and over. It’s what people do when they have a connection or you know like each-” You barely manage to get your description out at all then abruptly Hiei grips your side pushing you against the wall merely collapsing before he presses his body against yours to hold you up. He is warm, and a scent reminiscent of a campfire wafts about him, using his other hand he cups your face. Hiei’s staring at you once more but now there’s a curiosity in his glare, like he’s studying your reactions and wondering if they’re the right ones. Grabbing you at the back of your neck he pulls you down somewhat - into a kiss, your heart flutters and his warmth seems to spread through your body. After a moment, he pulls away, still keeping your faces touching.

“Is this what you had in mind, how you pictured it?”

You find yourself unable to find the words to answer but manage a few quick nods, Hiei then takes this as reassurance and kisses you again, then again.

Despite supposedly not knowing what making out was, he quickly finds his rhythm, even starting to grip your hair causing you to moan softly. You feel your breath getting heavy and the growing excitement between your legs, when suddenly he stops, pulling back to look at you while quite red himself. Slowly, he pulls away as you get your balance back, then turns on his heels taking a few steps away.

“Interesting.” Hiei says without turning around, and in a flash he’s gone. You slump back against the wall trying to process what just happened, soon enough however, you collect yourself and head home.

————————————————————————

The next day went by in a blur, all you were able to think about was Hiei, about feeling his warmth again. As you walked to the river, you couldn’t help hoping he’d be there and in the mood to talk - among other things. You shook your thoughts away once more, after all Hiei seemed to do what he did out of curiosity more than anything else. Turning the corner to the river, you peek around for your mysterious ‘friend’, and there he was - laying in the grass on the hill without a care in the world. Doing your best to still your rapidly beating heart, you approach, stopping once the sidewalk meets the grass.

“Hey Hiei, it’s me *****.” you provide your name again half expecting him to have forgotten you, he doesn’t open his eyes but answers you nonetheless.

“Yes, I knew it was you, human.”

“Is….it okay if I sit with you?” You request hesitantly, yet Hiei still does not move, hands supporting his head and his dark coat billowing in the wind.

“As I said, do whatever you like.” Hiei answered you plainly, he almost appears mad - frustrated even, although he’s doing his best to hide it.

Regardless you quietly step through the grass and sit a few feet beside him, setting down your bag as well. You sit for a moment enjoying the gentle breeze, the sunset glistening on the river, the soft fresh grass beneath you. You may have been alone and sat in silence for much of your life, but never like this, sitting beside Hiei gave you a comfort you’ve never known. He can struggle to hide it all he likes, but you can sense Hiei more than simply tolerates your presence, perhaps even enjoyed the moment you shared yesterday.

“You have an unusual level of spirit awareness, you know.” Hiei said suddenly, shattering the silence and startling you.

“Spirit Awareness?”

“...Demons can make themselves invisible to humans in this world, I’m doing it right now, and usually am for that matter.” Hiei turns his head towards you and opens a single eye as he talks. “So right now, you look crazier than everyone already seems to think you are.”

“...That’s…fine, I’m comfortable here - with you.” You manage to force the words out while looking away, and when you turn your gaze back, he’s staring at you. It’s just like yesterday, he’s gauging your reactions, searching for anything you might be holding back. You get the distinct impression he doesn’t spend much time around people, and he’s learned to be cautious, never risking giving something away he shouldn’t.

“You’re a strange one, finding comfort beside a demon.” He turns his head back to stare at the sky before continuing “You have no idea the things I’ve done, the things I’m capable of doing.”

“I’d say you’re a strange one for finding comfort with me then.” You cover your mouth unsure where you even got such an absurd idea in your head, but then again he does seem interested in you doesn’t he? Looking back at Hiei you see he hasn’t moved or reacted, perhaps he didn’t hear you? Just then he laughs, sitting up to lean back on his hands.

“Oh? I tried out a single human gesture, let you sit here with me, and that must mean I’m utterly infatuated is that it?”

“Typically that’s what would happen, yeah though not necessarily in that order.” You explain calmly once he’s finished attempting to make a fool of you. “However, maybe it’s different for demons.”

“If you must know, mating simply isn’t as big a deal.”

“Is that so? Then you didn’t feel anything after yesterday?” You retort but Hiei seems to have lost interest as he turns back toward the river leaning on one knee, at least so you thought. Even with the sunset turning the river into a shimmering stream of golden light, you can still see Hiei’s cheeks redden as he thinks to himself. You inch closer, again taking in his woodsy campfire scent, Hiei only turning to look once your shoulders are nearly touching.

“That feeling? Your body, sending the blood rushing to your face like that.” You whisper to him, even reaching out to poke his face to make your point, but Hiei continues to stare unflinchingly. “That's what gave me the idea you’re comfortable with me.” Feeling ever bolder, suddenly you cup his face in your hand, and kiss him - a long heartfelt kiss. You feel the familiar warmth spread through your body as Hiei hesitantly places his hand on yours, gripping it tight enough to pull grass up with it, as though he was afraid to get lost. When you pull away, Hiei’s expression fades back to normal ever so slowly, and he turns to face the river once more without another word.

After sitting together for a while, you finally attempt to get to your feet, only to realize Hiei is still holding your hand. You lift up your hand and Hiei turns, watching you curiously. Removing your palm from his grip, you then slowly take the opposite hand and interlock your fingers with his. You then give his hand a gentle squeeze and Hiei gives a much rougher squeeze in return, though he seems to get the idea. You smile and take back your hand but Hiei merely lays back down onto the grass with his eyes closed as he was when you arrived. Picking up your bag, you make your way back to the sidewalk, but stop when you hear Hiei call your name.

“See you tomorrow.” He uttered the words so simply, but you could feel the weight that was behind them.

“See you tomorrow.” You repeat back with more enthusiasm, then noticing the faintest smile on his face, you smile and head home.

————————————————————————

Another day of class, and another day of doodling poorly in the margins of your papers, constantly distracted by thoughts of Hiei. You haven’t been able to stop from wondering what else Hiei might’ve seen in your mind that day, what else he might be curious about. Funnily enough, you’ve never fallen for anyone, even your kiss with him was your first. Still what you lack in experience, you make up for in imagination, and the long list of dark romance movies you’ve seen has given you plenty to think about. You reach your typical meeting spot but Hiei was oddly nowhere to be found, you give the area a good once over to be sure, but eventually resign yourself to sitting back down in the grass.

Besides your spot you can still barely make out the indent in the grass where Hiei was laying just yesterday, you smile until a chilling thought slips into your mind. Remembering Hiei’s words about how crazy you must look to people since he’s invisible to everyone without Spirit Awareness, you fold your arms, looking back toward the river. After a moment you grip yourself tighter, reassuring yourself that you’re not crazy, Hiei is real and he’ll be here. Giving Hiei’s spot in the grass a few quick side glances, you take a moment to look around again, it’s mostly warehouses around here so there is rarely anyone around as usual.

“Hiei? Are you here?” You ask the open air beside you, considering that maybe your Spirit Awareness isn’t high enough to see him today, you have no idea how that works after all.

Suddenly, you’re startled by laughter from behind you, it seems you somehow failed to notice a group of boys from your class walking by on the sidewalk behind you. You blush and turn back towards the river, thoroughly embarrassed and hoping they didn’t notice you talking to thin air. Closing your eyes and burying your head in your arms, you sit there a while, reassuring yourself once again that you’re not crazy. Finally, after the boys have long gone and the dark of night begins settling in, you get up and head home.

————————————————————————

The next day you’re heading back, and although you get the feeling you’re being followed for some reason, you push on regardless. Hoping that yesterday he may have merely been busy, you hold out hope that Hiei will return today, even having thrown on some makeup and the star earrings you have left from you mothers belongings. Cautiously, you approach the river again, only to discover Hiei is once again absent. Even the indent in the grass has since stood back into full vigor, you make to approach the grass to sit but stop on the sidewalk, considering just heading home instead of waiting in futility. You’ve come this way for over a month now, and Hiei was always in this area, the fact that he hasn’t been here might mean he won’t come back.

“Did you come here to talk to yourself again girl?” A voice calls out behind you and in your desperation you whip around.

“Hiei?” You blurt out, only to see the boys who were walking by yesterday, you collect yourself as best you can and stand up straight. Though it’s not enough to hide the fact that you’re blushing in embarrassment, and the boys chuckle to themselves, certainly at your expense.

“Is that your imaginary friend’s name? It sounds like even your imaginary friend has left you, huh?” The other boys chuckle to themselves again, and you hold your bag tighter in your arms, you can’t believe you mistook this guy for Hiei and the frustration shows on your face.

“Hiei is not imaginary.“

“Isn’t he? Everyone who comes by here says you’re a freak who’s been talking to yourself.”

“That doesn’t make it true.” You insist back, though even now you’re second guessing your actions, one of the boys grabs your arm but you pull away.

“Why don’t you just admit you’re a freak, and this worlds better off without freaks.” He says back before nodding and the boys get a better grip on your arms.

“Stop it! Cut it out!” You cry out, but no one comes to your aid, the sound echoing off into the distance, before being drowned out by the sound of the river. The boy lifts his hand, taking hold of one of your earrings.

“You may be a useless freak, but these sure seem like they’d be worth something.”

“Those were my mothers, stop!” You yell and scream, but he gets a grip on it regardless, and instead of removing it he simply pulls it down. Tugging your ear harder and harder still, you stop struggling not wanting to hurt yourself but it doesn’t matter, he tears the earring straight out of your ear lobe. Tears start streaming down your face, it may be a small cut in your ear but between that and realizing you’re truly alone it’s just too much. You hear something faint over your crying but everything is such a blur, you can barely feel when he reaches for your other ear.

“Move another muscle, and I’ll end your pathetic lives.” You heard it that time, the voice and tone unmistakable, it’s Hiei. Sure enough his voice is enough to make the boys freeze, easing their grip on you as they turn their heads.

“What the-”

“I didn’t give you permission to speak worm.” Hiei’s voice sounds more aggressive, as though he’s teetering on the edge of erupting, similar to how he seemed to speak with that group before. “Release her. NOW.”

Shuddering at his words they comply, letting you slip carefully to the ground, you grip your ear keeping the pressure on it. You’re in a lot of pain, but you continue to shed tears of joy all the same. You slowly look over at Hiei several feet away through your tear-filled eyes, and he’s giving you the same stare he always has, though there’s a heat behind his eyes. He raises his head to stare at the boys, now backing away from him besides the one who ripped your earring out. In an instant, he closes the gap and has drawn a sword he’s touching to the boy’s throat, his expression unchanged. Each of the other boys starts freaking out and starting to calm down yourself, you can see why, their ears have been cut in a similar fashion to yours.

“I suggest you return that, before I make you.” Hiei hisses at the boy, he drops it onto the ground near you and raises his hands. Unsatisfied, Hiei slashes across the boy’s already bloody hand, though it doesn’t appear deep. Clutching his palm, the boy backs up to his friends and they run off. Hiei places his sword away and kneels down to your level, you can’t help but smile regardless of the state your face is in. “And just what are you grinning about?” He demands while placing his palm gently on your head.

“I’m just happy to see you.” You say simply, then Hiei gets to his feet offering you his hand and helping you up.

“You really followed me, Kurama?” Hiei questions as he turns his head, all the while keeping a firm hold on your hand.

“You can hardly blame me, Hiei.” Kurama answers as he steps out from the shadow of a nearby alley, he’s the pretty boy with red hair you noticed Hiei talking to the other day. “You were in such a hurry to get back to the human world, and I know all too well that’s not like you.”

Hiei gives a sharp exhale, tips his head in your direction, and releases your hand. Kurama steps over to you asking to see, and in seconds he’s healed your ear, apologizing that you’ll have to get it re-pierced. After a handshake and a quick goodbye, he takes off walking away, apparently not nearly as concerned about making a snappy exit as Hiei. Hiei takes a few steps away in the other direction, then stops and turns to you over his shoulder, staring at you expectantly.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” His voice much calmer now, he waits for you to grab your other earring, and you catch up to him offering your hand. Hiei hesitates, then holds your hand just as you had instructed the other day, obviously the difference in height between you makes it difficult but you make due.

————————————————————————

Hiei is silent most of the way home, despite the fact that your heart is threatening to beat out of your chest, being this close with him feels like a dream. Still a few blocks from home, he speaks up.

“I had something to take care of, duties, obligations.”

“I gathered. You don’t need to apologize, Hiei.” You respond in kind, but Hiei merely stops on the spot, unmoving.

“It was just humans this time.”

“What?”

“It could have been worse.” Hiei sounds tense, though not angry, like he can’t just bring himself to voice his concern.

You gently tug on his hand, and Hiei continues moving with you. When you reach your door at the apartment building, he stops again, releasing your hand. You unlock and open the door, Hiei turns away but you catch his arm.

“How…um…how much of what I was thinking did you see the other day?” You ask hesitantly, but he does not respond, and only turns back toward you. You pull his arm out of his pocket, and gripping his hand, you lead him inside.

Once you’re both inside, you set to work attempting to tidy up a bit, since you haven’t had a guest in - ever. Hiei looks about and finding your coat hooks, he removes his in one swift motion, placing his sword down gently near it. He takes a few more cautious steps into your apartment carefully taking in his surroundings, then stopping when he notices your open bedroom door. Once you’ve finished you walk over to where Hiei is and take his hand once more.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He whispers, usually you have a good idea of what Hiei is thinking, although he’s quiet his body is rather honest. Yet you can’t figure out what’s on his mind right now, maybe despite his usual calm collected attitude you’ll have to walk him through it.

You take his face in your hands and kiss him deeply, He returns the gesture whole heartedly. Pulling away, Hiei manages to sweep you up in one quick motion, princess-carrying you to your bed. Setting you down gently, Hiei wastes no time climbing on top of you, taking only a moment to gently caress your cheek. Staring at you and once again reminding you of your first meeting, a beast who’s cornered his prey, except you’re far more willing.

Hiei leans in and kisses you, letting slip a moan you lay back helplessly as he trails a line of them down your neck. You reach up to feel his side through his shirt, gripping it needily, your other hand snaking around his arm as his hand travels up running fingers through your hair. Slowly Hiei’s grip begins to tighten, tugging ever so playfully at your hair before biting down on your neck lightly, putting just enough pressure to leave his mark. However, it’s little more than a tease, Hiei’s taking it slow likely out of fear of hurting you. You mumble under your breath, and Hiei pauses to listen as you find the words in your throat.

“Harder . . . please.” You whimper to him and Hiei hesitates before obliging, getting a firmer grip on your hair, biting your neck deeper, sucking a second more intense hickey into your skin. His sharp canines threatening to pierce your skin, you yelp and moan all at once, your breathing getting heavier as you grip Hiei’s arm harder for comfort. When he pulls back you can hear him almost panting, his warm breath further teasing your sensitive new bruise. You lock eyes for a moment, your lips crashing against one another the next, your hands exploring each others aching bodies. Hiei’s hand traces teasingly over your breast, quickly throwing your uniforms tie aside and gripping the top button of your shirt then stopping.

You give a quick nod before tugging up his shirt in turn, Hiei instead taking it from you, repeating his previous trick and removing it in an instant. You giggle under your breath and Hiei gives a small smirk, kissing you again before moving back down to your neck, his fast hands making quick work of your shirt buttons. You take a moment to revel in his kissing while tracing your hands over his arms and back, his skin was warm, inviting to the touch, and coated in several scars depicting a lifetime of battle and hardship. It made it all the more comforting that he was being so careful with you, while so vulnerable at the same time.

Suddenly Hiei pulls your shirt open, and you sit up to remove it along with your bra. Placing his hand at the curve of your waistline, he ever so slowly moves upward towards your chest, teasing you. Taking and massaging your breast with one hand, Hiei kisses around your other before beginning to suck on your nipple, teasing it with his tongue and teeth. You squirm and moan beneath him from the sensation, running your fingers through his hair once more, the excitement beginning to grow between your legs.

After alternating, giving your chest the ample attention it deserves, Hiei gently traces his fingers down, slowly pulling up your skirt as he wraps his other arm around you. Coming to rest his hand over your underwear, you become aware of just how wet you are with excitement and moan, Hiei smirks as he pulls your panties aside. Runing his fingers along the wetness of your entrance, he teases it while rubbing his slicked thumb over your clit, you whimper in between moans.

“Please Hiei…” you beg and Hiei obliges, slowly inserting one finger, then two. You gasp from the sensation flowing through you and Hiei takes your exhale as a sign, beginning to slowly fuck you with his fingers, still tracing circles over your clit with his thumb. You cling tighter to Hiei, the edges of the room starting to soften, he holds you closer as you quickly begin approaching that peak. It all feels so surreal, of course you’ve touched yourself before, but here with the boy you’ve pined over for so long feels leagues more intense. You stare up at Hiei and he kisses you, moaning against his lips as he curls his fingers while maintaining the rhythm, quickly bringing you to a rather loud orgasm your muscles gripping fingers nearly in place.

You struggle to catch your breath in Hiei’s arms, his hand still idly teasing your entrance, he stares at you with a half smile still breathing heavily himself. Having calmed down a bit you run your fingers along the top of Hiei’s pants, taking a quick look at how excited he himself is, you flick your gaze back up to meet his.

In a moment you’ve both removed the last of your clothing, Hiei kissing you while lightly pushing you back into your place on the bed, you moan feeling the gentlist graze of his dick over your clit. Lining himself up, he begins grinding himself against your wetness, trailing kisses over your neck while pinning your hands above your head. Holding your wrists in place with one hand, he brings the other down to massage your breast once more, you can’t bear to hold back moaning as his kissing moves further up your neck.

“Hiei . . .” You barely whimper out between moans, yet he only nibbles your ear in response.

“Use your words, I want to hear you say it *****.“ Hiei whispers directly into your ear, hearing him say your name sending a shiver down your spine in the best way.

“Please. . .fuck me Hiei.” You beg in desperation, finally able to get out the answer that Hiei already knew.

With that, Hiei sat up somewhat to steady himself, flashing you a mischievous grin. You bite your lip, running your hands over his shoulders and back. The next second you can feel him starting to part you, moaning as you throw your head back, Hiei’s dick enters you slowly and completely as his hips meet yours. He moans along with you, leaning lower to wrap a protective arm around you, he pauses for a moment as if he’s overwhelmed which isn’t surprising given how tightly you feel yourself gripping him.

Then Hiei begins slowly but steadily fucking you, just as you begged, your nails now digging into his back. Keeping his pace as his eyes lock with yours, you kiss eachother deeply, and Hiei speeds up. Pounding his hips into yours, you can feel yourself approaching the peak again already, and based on Hiei’s sounds of pleasure you imagine he is too. Placing a hand on his face, you smile up at him, Hiei is thrusting hard when he suddenly cums and you along with him. The feeling of him filling you up pushing you over the edge, Hiei moans deeply between reaching the peak and your orgasmic grip on him as he does.

————————————————————————

The remainder of the night is a blur as you wake up, groggily rubbing your eyes you wonder what happened, your room is still a mess but theres no sign of Hiei.

Looking over at the clock, you realize you’re going to be late for school and hurriedly get ready. As you’re brushing your hair, and despite the bit of bruising on your neck, you can’t help but wonder if your night with Hiei was all a dream. Afterall, you can’t remember falling asleep after . . . on second thought, you probably shouldn’t think too hard about it in fresh underwear. Struggling to slip your shoes on, you grab the doorknob and pull it open. There leaning on the railing was Hiei, who turned around when you stepped out the door, you could feel your heart practically jump into your throat. Hiei sat staring, disinterested as usual, then held out his hand.

“Come on *****, I’ll walk you there.”

#hiei x reader #hiei x you #yyh hiei #hiei yu yu hakusho #hiei smut #Hawke Writing

[gemsofgreece]

Some thoughts on the Homeric Age and the Early Archaic Period

Based on my reading of the Iliad and the Odyssey in the original Homeric Greek text and a fairly loyal Modern Greek rendering

I had read these in middle school but, you know, fewer things stick with you when you do them as a chore. I was interested in reading them again, not so much for the already familiar stories, but for what I could take from them and conclude about the Greek society more than 2800 years ago! I must note that it is unclear how accurately the poet(s?) - let’s say Homer - portrays the Homeric Age and events that supposedly took place more than four centuries before his time. The question is, are we truly getting a picture of the Homeric age or at least an archaic Greek society? My opinion is that the epics must have been a reflection of some early Greek era indeed and not be entirely imaginary. Most historians believe Homer does a fairly decent job at preserving cultural and social elements of an age long gone even for him, although it’s undoubtable there is a lot of infiltration with elements of his own times too.

Peace and War

It is interesting that even though the Iliad is a war themed epic and graphic violence and gore are not missed in the Odyssey either, both the characters of the epics (who are famed warriors more often than not) and the poet - narrator acknowledge war as a great evil that causes a lot of pain to people. Even the victors pillaging and taking slaves have total awareness and understanding that a slave or a defeated enemy are suffering a lot. It seems it is a man’s duty to confront that great evil and be decently prepared and trained for it, however it is not a situation that most have a special yearning for. Most men agree that there is nothing like having peace and enjoying your companies and families, however it was a great shame for a man to step back once war broke out. A war or a fight or any argument would be ignited usually by acts of injustice or great offence that should be obligatorily punished immediately, even if the offended would deep inside rather stay at home. As an example, Odysseus murders violently all of Penelope’s suitors and twelve girl slaves who betrayed his wife and slept willingly with them. He does not waver at all, despite the pleas for mercy. When his oldest servant and nanny sees the gruesome scene with all the dead, she rejoices and cheers. Odysseus then scolds her, for “anybody’s death should never be a reason for joy”. So we have this somewhat contradictory stance in a society which proclaims itself peaceful and fair yet it takes too little to outrage and urge at acts of vengeance and violence. Violence and war are seen as measures that must be taken and that one must not recoil from but there is wide acknowledgment that war and death brought to others should not be desired or enjoyed. It was definitely not among cultures that viewed war or conquest as some sort of sacred destiny or pride. But it also did not take much for them to find excuses for a war or a fight.

Religion

Despite misconceptions that Ancient Greeks were always very anthropocentric and put logic and the potency of the human mind above all else, it is certain that at least up to the Archaic period this was not the case. Ancient Greeks of those early eras were very religious and attributed almost everything to their deities. The fate of a person is sealed from the beginning and the gods are well aware of it. Even the achievements or mistakes of great people are viewed as interventions by the gods. Although Odysseus is repeatedly praised for his intelligence and resourcefulness, it is almost always a god (Athena) who enlightens him on how to act or what to say. Misfortune is also entirely attributed to the gods - if a character suffers great misfortune, it is not so much because of their own misjudgment, the elements of nature or ill luck, but because some god is angered with them or has a special liking for their enemy.

Behavioural patterns

The most notable pattern in the behaviour of characters in the epics is that it is temperamental with plenty of mood swings. Granted, we should always keep into account that they are just ancient poems and maybe the care for gradual character development or realistic character consistency was not one of the priorities for ancient poets. If we do however still attempt to draw any conclusions, we observe people who are quick to judge, offend, get angry, praise, admire, get emotional, forgive. Some of these mood swings happen in minutes. Certainly this must not be realistic but it may be a sign the Ancient Greek people were that temperamental, quick to hate and quick to love. Another crucial observation, maybe a trademark trait of the Greek ethnos, it is apparent throughout the epics that the Greeks are people who love to talk a lot, they are argumentative and they enjoy discourse. Characters unfold their thoughts and feelings extensively and they do not shy away from being vulnerable. Furthermore, their speeches are bold and often candid; they can use strong language for the flaws of people they love and they add praises even in speeches against their enemies! In other words, they generally call it what it is - they are upfront about the flaws and the virtues of those they speak to. One last observation, they tend to be suspicious of others. There is an ongoing theme of trying, testing old friends and loved ones even when this is distressing to the other person and even though the events alone prove those people’s love and testing them really is superfluous and just shows a very suspicious, disbelieving nature. Of course, testing your loved ones is a huge recurring theme in international literary work ever since, therefore once again it would be reasonable to consider that even if those tendencies existed, they were exaggerated for the sake of the poems and the prolonged entertainment of the audience.

Objectivity

Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of reading the Homeric epics for me is how the author is largely removed from taking sides. Homer does like Odysseus, that is evident, however as a narrator he almost never speaks ill of any character. Any accusations are only made by characters against other characters. The narrator himself acknowledges positive traits in most characters or at the very least remains neutral. Even more interestingly, this expands to an ethnic level. Even though the epics are written by a Greek for the Greeks, there is resolutely no hatred or prejudice against any other culture mentioned. Trojans, Thracians, Aethiopians and many others are all acknowledged for their own virtues each and the narrator does not resent any for fighting against the Greeks. It is clear that at the time, discrimination and hate speech against other nations and cultures had not yet gotten to people’s minds that much. I found it very wonderful and interesting that a war text from 800 BC could master more objectivity and level-headedness than 99% of texts written in the 19th century around the world.

Women

[This part is a little longer so I am putting the rest of the post under a cut]

Classical Greece is notorious for how oppressed its women were, however either things were better for them a few centuries prior or the truth was more nuanced. Of course, we are undoubtedly talking about a deeply patriarchal society in which women were expected to restrict themselves in their own rooms and have little concern besides their kids and weaving. In spite of this, the poems are full of considerations and respect towards numerous women and seem to have them in a type of regard that is rarely mentioned in historians’ documentations. Women are portrayed with diverse personalities and the vast majority are presented as positive role models. In fact, there is only one woman who is mentioned in a downright negative way and that is Clytemnestra, but it’s only her husband who does this as well. Other than her, there is rarely if ever negative talk against other women. Even Helen is never treated badly by anybody; Helen is only ever criticised by herself. When she returns to Sparta, her people, Menelaus and visitors such as Telemachus seem to honour her as if nothing ever happened. Helen joins them in their festivities, is portrayed as more perceptible than Menelaus and always voices her thoughts in the overwhelmingly masculine company. Arete and Nausicaa are also significant female characters and they are more crucial to the safe return of Odysseus than King Alcinous. Penelope is one of the leading characters; her thoughts, feelings and turmoil interest the poet (and apparently the ancient audience) in a large part of the Odyssey, no less than the feelings of Odysseus himself. The input of women is often welcomed and considered - it is not taken into account usually when it gets in the way of plans that have to do with war and fighting or when the position of a male might be challenged in front of others. For example, Telemachus evidently loves and respects his mother but he eventually feels ashamed that he is becoming a grown man, the future king, that cannot get rid of his mother’s suitors and he often scolds her when she takes decisions regarding these matters in his and the suitors’ presence. Other than that, mothers in general are viewed as sacred and respectable. Odysseus, a mature manly warrior, is seen yearning for his mother’s embrace.

In Nausicaa we see that perhaps women could also go outdoors and have fun when accompanied by their maids. Nausicaa and her maids wash the clothes close to the shore and in the meantime they entertain themselves by playing with a ball until the sunset, with the permission of her parents.

The pain and turmoil of slave girls is seen and understood. Odysseus kills twelve of his fifty slave women because they betrayed him. The rest who remained loyal to the family rush to welcome him back - Odysseus hugs them all and weeps. This scene is beautiful because there is nothing resolutely sexual implied - it is clear that his relationship to them was more genuine than that of a master and his servants, they were also his protégées. He cared enough to weep for meeting again his female servants - this shows that even an unfree working girl could be impactful enough to a powerful man’s life without this necessarily involving sex. The slaves he killed received a shameful death but even so Telemachus explains to them why such a death is chosen for them as if he tries to excuse it. Meanwhile, there is not any hint of apologism when it comes to the gruesome amputation and murder of the male traitor. It seems it was viewed as more dubious for a man to kill a woman, whereas a man killing a man was viewed as a punishment or as a heroic act, depending on the context.

Goddesses are portrayed totally unapologetic; they clearly have the freedom to do morally questionable deeds without being judged by the mortals’ standards.

One very interesting detail is that when men converse with women, which happens a LOT in the Odyssey and not just between married couples, men often refer to gods as husbands of goddesses. For example, when Odysseus talks to Nausicaa or Penelope, he addresses Zeus as “Hera’s Zeus”. This is clearly a subtle attempt at honouring the woman the man is talking to - it stresses that even a god belongs to a goddess, even the father of all gods, is Hera’s man. This is not to question Zeus’ leadership among the gods or portray males as possessions of females but it is a way to respect the woman opposite them by acknowledging their own influence and importance. “Even Zeus is Hera’s Zeus, therefore I have the highest regard for you, my lady.” I believe this was the spirit and I thought it was a wonderfully subtle way to show regard for a woman.

Love, lust and sex

What I found the most interesting regarding romantic relationships is the impression I got that emotional connection and respect seemed to be more telling of someone’s devotion than physical intimacy. It seems that married men could get away with having sex with slave girls (not free women) as long as they did not sleep in the same bed or maintain a deeper emotional relationship with them. For Helen, it seems it was worse that she followed Paris away rather than that her being with him included having sex together. There is also totally the concept of casual sex of which goddesses seem to have a good understanding. Mortal women on the other hand can openly voice their sexual desire and take the initiative to have and enjoy sex but only when it is with their husband, but they are sometimes depicted to have willingly casual relationships (Odysseus’ working girls with the suitors), which is however a choice that is fatally punished by the master once he returns. However, it wasn’t so much the act of casual sex they got executed for but more so that it was with the suitors who were exploiting Odysseus’ riches and loved ones. There is a distinction in the Odyssey between women who eagerly entered sexual relationships with the suitors and others who were raped by them. I don’t claim it was entirely clear but to my understanding, the latter welcome Odysseus back and are not punished. Another interesting fact is that although Penelope is admired for her loyalty to Odysseus, she was not in fact socially obligated to grieve him for so long. Telemachus himself declares he is happy his mother is so loyal to her husband, however he would also be okay with her marrying somebody once he became of age. (It would also be convenient as the suitors would finally leave him alone.) Both Telemachus and the suitors repeatedly leave it to Penelope herself to pick whomever she fancies best, with the optional advice of her father. There is a small part that suggests some people would still gossip negatively if she took a new husband, however it was clearly totally acceptable for her to do so. Just like Penelope, Nausicaa, a maiden, is always concerned about what people will think, however when alone with Odysseus or her maids, she makes her attraction to him discreetly clear. I also found the men’s approach to love and sex very interesting. Men are depicted equally as capable of sexual desire, abstinence, indifference or even being sexually coerced. By the standards of the era, Odysseus is really as loyal to Penelope as she is to him, given that his infidelity was with two goddesses, one with a notorious love for potions and another who clearly kept him her prisoner.

When he returns to Ithaca, he keeps up a stone-faced fake identity for too long but when he reveals himself, he gradually becomes frustrated with Penelope’s cold and doubtful reception. We are told that apparently Odysseus was very invested in his marriage with Penelope, given the strenuous work he willingly did with his own hands to build and decorate their bedroom. When the couple reunites, Athena literally has to prolong the night for them to just weep together, cuddle, tell their sufferings (and have sex) enough. It just gives us a picture of a mutually respectful marriage where the wife is just as invaluable to the husband. Men are also depicted to have shame for their nudity, which is something that might seem surprising given the classical obsession with the body. Odysseus feels it is shameful, vulnerable and inappropriate to be seen, touched or washed by female servants, especially when he is significantly older than them. He also feels embarrassed for his looks under the female eyes. Lastly, in the Homeric epics women are ultimately the object of men’s desire. There is actually no mention of homosexual attraction. The only questionable moment, on which the entirety of the later speculations were founded, is when Achilles has a dream of deceased Patroclus and he express his wish to die and be buried together. Other than that, having sexual desire is exclusively expressed for women or, interestingly, by women in these two epics.

Other types of love such as friendships and familial relationships are full of vulnerability and expression as well. Men, fathers, sons, friends hug, cry and narrate their misfortunes openly and vulnerably. Grown men are still recipients of beautiful kind words as Thetis does with Achilles and as Penelope and even the swineherd Eumaeus, who operates as a paternal figure, do with Telemachus (both call him “sweet light”). (As a sidenote, it is clearly viewed as the right thing for a noble person to be close, caring and accessible to his servants and slaves.) Arete and Alcinous also treasure their daughter Nausicaa.

The most moving part of all, Odyssey might be the first text noting the literally undying love, devotion and wisdom of dogs. While Odysseus at the moment is in disguise and can’t show much affection or then grieve his dog Argos, it is clear that Homer wouldn’t bother adding that part if the Greek people hadn’t already started forming loving bonds with pets.

Stools

Boy they loved stools.

Conclusion

If there is any accuracy in Homer’s epics, then the late Homeric / early Archaic society was a society that generally tried to be peaceful and always measured the profit and cost from a war expedition but the equilibrium was really fragile and very often disturbed. People were religious, opinionated, argumentative, talkative and temperamental but they also valued loyalty, honour, hospitality, patience and bravery. They loved dearly and were fearlessly expressive, however they were also quick to anger and suspicion. It was a very patriarchal society, however women had their own way of being respected and reckoned. Sexual desire was seen as natural and expected in both sexes, however there were limitations to how upfront or open it could be in its expression. These limitations affected both women and men, but to different degrees or ways.

BONUS!

An examination of similarities and differences between this society and later / current stages of Greek society:

Some obvious similarities are that Greeks have indeed always been temperamental with considerable mood swings and a tendency for suspicion. There are hints of cryptical behaviour in the epics though and I would say that later and current Greeks are also notable for this (contrary to popular belief). Modern Greeks are less capable of objectivity or seeing the virtues of an enemy. The double, often contradictory approach to sex, where promiscuity and modesty collide, are an eternal trait of the Greek people. While it might be on the lower end of the western world spectrum on the matter, it is needless to say the woman’s status in the society has improved hugely. However, there is this common pattern that historically Greek women were often able to be much more influential or assertive than the laws or the “norms” expected them to be. Greeks have always loved their families fiercely. The next might come as a surprise but I firmly believe modern Christian Greeks are much less GENUINELY religious than Homeric and Archaic pagan Greeks were. Later Greeks (probably starting since late classical period and ever since) do not attribute nowhere near as much of their achievements and failures to a deity. The Greek approach to Christianity however is similar in the sense that there is an expectation of an immediate godly payback involved just like ancient people expected the favour of the gods with their sacrifices or appropriate behaviour. As time passed, Greeks became distinctly less and less interested in war and fights, despite always remaining argumentative. Modern Greece is a genuinely peaceful society that avoids confrontation but has some basic standards of good defensive preparation in case of bad need, while the ancient society was violating its own boundaries of peace very often and much more readily.

#greece #Ancient Greece #Homeric epics #Iliad #odyssey #Odysseus #Homeric age #archaic Greece #Homer #Greek culture #opinion

[goodluckclove]

Various "Failures" From My Google Docs

Good morning! I'm at my usual coffee shop and got inspired by the troubles of a few friends to embarrass myself.

Sit down with me. I'm enjoying my usual blended chai. There's room on the couch if you'd like to join me.

So I've written thirteen novels. I think thirteen, I've actually lost count. Let's say, like, five full-length plays and twelve to fourteen finished novels. Impressive, right? Maybe. I'm realizing that I consider that not much of a brag, if only because I know the amount of trips and stumbles it took to get to one completed project.

I've ditched a lot of ideas. A lot. If I need to I can dig into my old hard drives to find all the doc files from my youth, but I also have the same Google Docs I've had since middle school.

It's mostly plays and ghostwriting assignments, but if you did you'll find some snippets from my constant attempts at growth.

Some stuff like this is okay. The line "hair slicked back/suit black silk" is pretty good, but a little too the writer thinks they're clever for me now. I don't really remember where I planned to go with this. I think the narrator was somehow going to be given the identity of Roy Fontaine. I was really fixated on the surname Fontaine at the time. I don't know why.

But then there's also a lot of stuff like this:

Hey look it's Fontaine again! I guess he's a doctor, too! Also I am astounded by how casually the main character just pulls out the Necronomicon. He pulls it out? From where? His pocket? Is it a zine?

I don't know why, but something about how suddenly this jumps in terms of dropping specifics makes me think that Sonic the Hedgehog is about to show up. I can't explain it.

This is the only thing in a Doc titled "Psychosis". I have zero memory of what I was planning on doing with this. What's kind of crazy though is that I wrote this in 2014, and six years later I'll use essentially this exact bit in a finished novel without even realizing it.

Another bit from 2014. No clue what I planned to do with this. It's hilarious to me that something stopped me from finishing the sentence. What am I, Franz Kafka writing The Tower? I didn't die. I wasn't raptured. I just apparently tried to think of something a large oak door would do and immediately gave up. It was 2014 I had finished, like, four novels. And this idea was fully stalled by what had to be a fucking huge oak door.

My favorite part of this radio play I tried to write is that somehow, believe it or not - when I wrote this I did not fully understand the Quantum Suicide thought experiment. And for along time I still kind of thought that this could be salvaged into a good idea, until last night when I asked my wife to put on a video describing the experiment and I immediately found it so dumb. Just ridiculously stupid. The only good thing about Quantum Mickey is that the title kicks ass and I'm definitely keeping it for something.

I've written a lot. A lot. I've earned the severity of carpal tunnel I currently have. If I had to put it into a statistic, I'd say maybe seventy percent ends up finished. fifty percent ends up polished to be read or published. Thirty percent actually ends up being read or published. I'm okay with this, because I enjoy the work. But for me, part of enjoying the work is not panicking when a project doing work.

If I need to end a project in the middle of a sentence, I do. I've clearly proven that I do. Sometimes I write for thirty pages and lose interest, other times I get a paragraph in and get distracted forever. That's okay.

That's okay. As long as you're doing something.

I could've included segments of Carnation, my first novella that was supposed to be a novel but I never finished it. But I fucking guess that's getting it's own post when I hit 150 followers so I hope you're prepared for what the type of stuff I enjoyed in middle school.

There's an Irish child that speaks exclusively in slang. You aren't ready.

#writeblr #writing community #on writing #writers on tumblr #authors of tumblr #writing #writing advice #writing tips #writing inspo #writing inspiration