#okay but if steve really dies i’ll never recover i’m so serious

[infinite-orangepeel]

my two moods are:

1. steve harrington has final girl energy and nothing can kill him

and

2. steve harrington is destined to die a tragic and martyrous death and i will never be okay again

#season 5 i have my eye on u 👁️ #okay but if steve really dies i’ll never recover i’m so serious #that’s my princess and i cannot lose him i’ve projected way too much of myself onto his character #also scared for him to be final girl bc i know the duffers will find some way to fuck up his character arc #keep steve in ur prayers #he’s too sexy for this world #steve harrington #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington hc #steddie #joe keery #fruity four #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #stranger things 5 #st5 predictions #st5 theory #stranger things #steve harrington my beloved

[charcubed]

hey char, mind to share your fave stevebucky headcanons? 👀

Oh I LOVE that you asked me this :’)  Thank you!

I honestly have so many if I really think about it because I love them so much and I think about their dynamic so much that I have so many favorite things... but here is what I think of off the top of my head:

• Steve was color blind before the serum, according to canon. I have a headcanon that Bucky used to try to describe colors to him. I wrote a mini fic about that here.

• Bucky was drafted for the war, but didn’t tell Steve. Steve sort of assumed that Bucky enlisted, and Bucky never wanted to correct him. How could he? Steve wanted to enlist so badly, and Bucky didn’t ever feel like he could admit that he didn’t have the same drive to want to ~fight for the country~ like Steve did. He didn’t want to disappoint him and he was afraid Steve would think he was a coward. So Bucky just... never told him that he was forced into war. It was never his choice to fight for the country. If it was up to him, they would’ve stayed home together and stayed safe and never fought at all.

• They were always physically rough with each other, in the sense that they'd wrestle as boys all the time, and Steve loved that Bucky never treated him as fragile. Buck knew he could take it. Even after the serum, they'd still scuffle a bit like kids, finding a bright spot in a war-torn world. They’d be awake in the trenches on lookout, having soft conversations in the night, and shoving each other after one says something stupid or makes a bad joke.

• Steve is bi, and Bucky is gay. Bucky was consciously aware of his feelings for Steve way, way before Steve was aware of his for Bucky. In the 30s, Bucky has a bit of a reputation for ~dating around,~ but not in a rude ladies’ man kind of way but rather his reputation is “Bucky Barnes is a real charmer. He’ll show you a good time and he’s really sweet, but he never pushes your boundaries.” Some women wishes he’d push their boundaries, but he doesn’t. He’s taken so many women out on dates because he never lets it get super serious, since they’re not who he wants and it’s mostly for appearances’ sake, especially since he and Steve live together. He definitely enjoys hanging out with women, and treating them nice, but most of the time his motivation is to try to set up double dates–half because Steve deserves to find a great girl to date, and half because a double date means Bucky can selfishly do a date activity “with” Steve and not have it mean anything. Meanwhile though, Steve gets jealous as hell and testy about Bucky dating all the time, but he’s oblivious to the fact that it’s because Steve wishes Bucky would be with him instead.

• Their first kiss was when Steve was 16 and Bucky was 17. I’m not necessarily saying that’s when they actually got together, but something significant happened between them at those ages... maybe they kissed because they were drunk, or it was so Steve’s “first kiss” would be someone he knew and it was for “practice.” And then they both never talked about it again, because they’re idiots and were afraid to ~ruin things~ between each other. That’s why Steve says “Rumlow said ‘Bucky’ and all of a sudden I was a 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn.” That’s why “seventeen” is one of Bucky’s trigger words as the Winter Soldier. It checks out, because Bucky is a little bit older than Steve.

• Steve doesn’t fully admit the depth of his own feelings for Bucky to himself until he finds out Bucky’s been captured by HYDRA. And then he tears Europe apart to get him back. He’d have done that anyway, obviously, but... the prospect of losing Bucky forever is really what makes him realize how much he can’t handle that concept. Because he’s in love with him.

• After Bucky “dies,” Steve gets more reckless, and that’s part of the reason he put the plane in the ice and didn’t try to survive: he didn’t want to live in a world without Bucky in it. This is supported by canon. And so I headcanon that, after Steve finds out about the Winter Soldier, one day he abruptly realizes that he could’ve died in that plane crash and never known Bucky was alive and brainwashed and suffering. He thought Bucky was dead and he wanted to follow him, and he could’ve left Bucky even more alone in the world without knowing it. When Steve realizes how close he came to leaving Bucky behind like that, he throws up. It horrifies him to think about it.

• They each have a pair of dog tags where one says “Steve Rogers” and one says “Bucky Barnes.” They swapped one tag each, so that they’d have a matching set, because while they couldn’t list each other as “next of kin,” they wanted tangible evidence that would show other people how important they are to each other. So people would know: tell him if something happens to me.

• Their Brooklyn accents come out / get heavier around each other, especially if they’re bitching about things or arguing.

• Bucky is a complete sci-fi and fantasy nerd–which is now confirmed canon, and I love it. In particular, I like to headcanon that he loves to read paperback sci-fi novels, and discount romance novels. He unironically enjoys them, and he leaves them allllll over the place. One of the things they love to do is Bucky will sit around and read while Steve will sit around and draw/paint, and half the time Steve gets distracted sketching Bucky’s facial expression he makes while he’s reading.

• Bucky is also a pop culture gremlin. He will try and often get interested in pretty much anything and everything, without rhyme or reason. In modern day, he and Nat will watch trashy reality TV together–sometimes to make fun of it, sometimes to get invested. Steve thinks they’re insane for that. And sometimes Bucky will like one niche thing but then for very specific reasons he dislikes another similar thing. It makes sense to him, even if Steve doesn’t get it.

• Steve tends to be pickier with the kind of stuff he enjoys. He’s always had Strong Opinions™️ on everything, including and especially art. Put him in a museum and he’ll have a lot of thoughts on all of it. He doesn’t judge things or hate on other people for liking things he doesn’t like at all, but he won’t get hooked on a movie/show quite as easily. The one exception is animation, which he absolutely adores, and he goes on a wild binge of all kinds of animated content for awhile–shows and movies–because the various art styles and uses of the medium to tell crazy stories just fascinates him.

• Easy access to so much music is one of their mutual favorite things about the 21st century. Bucky often gets into individual artists’ entire discographies and becomes a fan, whereas Steve often gets into a handful of specific songs from a wide range of various people. Like... Bucky will often love an entire album, and Steve will often love 2 songs specifically more than others. But even with that, Steve loves collecting vinyl records–both old and new ones.

• Bucky has a fantastic singing voice even though he’s shy about it, and he tends to hum along to music when distracted or working on something else–especially while making something in the kitchen. 

• Bucky likes technology more than Steve; Steve likes physical stuff more than Bucky. Bucky loves to take photos and videos of things all the time, hoarding digital memories in a way that’s precious to him, knowing that they’re “safe” and accessible anywhere. They lost so much of the objects that they loved a century ago, and photos were scarce, but now... there are endless ways to have pictures. When Bucky was recovering in Wakanda and Steve was on the run, Bucky would often text Steve photos–sometimes without captions–to wordlessly share bits of his days with him. He’s got a good eye for photography, except for when he takes the photo equivalent of shitposts to make Steve laugh. Regardless, Steve gets his favorites printed–some of Bucky’s photos, some of his, some of their selfies–so they also always have something tangible to hold onto.

• Bucky calls Steve “sweetheart” sometimes, just to be a little shit–and he means it. It makes Steve turn red every time, without fail, but he secretly doesn’t mind it.

Okay I’ll stop hahaha. Those are the main ones that come to mind for me all the time when I think of them! 

Thank you again for asking :D  This was so fun to write all in one place!

#anonymous #asks #stevebucky #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #headcanons #literally sat here and spent like an hour writing this. like it's 2017 again. NO remorse! a nice way to wind down my evening #char writes things

[thinger-strang]

the thoughts i keep to myself (are apparently the ones i should share)

happy pride everyone i figured id write a little blurb about having demi-romantic feelings and trying to navigate them! side note; i know there is a canon way that billys room is laid out but im ignoring that bc i dont care

this takes place a year or two after starcourt so billy is fully healed and him and steve have been friends for a long time

Billy's laying in the space between his bed and the wall, the only space in his room–other than the literal fucking closet–that keeps him hidden from the doorway.

He's locked in his room anyways.

Laying, just thinking, listening to the record he's got playing through his headphones. Just thinking. Trying to not drown.

Thinks about the way Steve smiles. Avoids that sinking feeling in his gut when he thinks about Steve for too long.

It snuck up on him, the sinking feeling, the feeling of dread when he thinks he might love someone. Dread because everyone talks about how great love feels and how exciting it is when it's just scary to Billy. Scary in a way that's very different from shadow monsters and Neil's bad moods.

Scary in a way that's not enough. Scary in a way that makes Billy feel awful and guilty for daring to feel love, deep good romantic love for someone.

Side A stops playing, has finished, and Billy holds his breath to listen for six seconds before sitting up to flip the record again, one eye on the door.

It's Steve's record. Billy doesn't even like Journey, just listens to it to feel closer to Steve.

Steve.

Fuck.

Billy takes a big deep breath and wills his eyes to dry. It doesn't work. Tears leak into his ears.

Figuring it out was the worst part. Because before he figured out what that mystery feeling was, Steve was just his friend–best friend.

It starts with trusting Steve and telling him too much. That melts into wanting to spend all his time with Steve, wanting to soak up his laugh and memorize his face. That leads to Steve being on his mind all the time.

This part isn't too bad, it's the part after, where Billy realizes and ruins their friendship that sucks.

Once it dawns on Billy that these are probably maybe potentially romantic feelings, suddenly all his thoughts are if Steve asked me to, I would kiss him

and

if Steve were to reach for my hand, I would hold his hand

and

I want to hold him to my chest when he can't sleep, is that bad?

and

I wonder if he thinks about me like I think about him?

But it comes and goes, these feelings, it's like light background noise one day, then waves crashing around his ears the next

And he still can't tell if what he's feeling is love

Billy presses his palms into his eyes as he remembers Steve's face when he tells him, (because he's an idiot who thought telling Steve about this stupid messed up jumble of feelings was smart)

Remembers the wide eyes when Billy said "I don't really know, I kinda can't tell"

Remembers the twitchy fingers when Billy says "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything"

Remembers the confused looks when Billy says "I think I love you"

But worst of all is Billy doesn't remember the look on Steve's face when he walks away from the conversation, embarrassed that he said anything and didn't look back.

Billy hates this feeling of being wrong and overwhelmed by feelings that everyone else craves.

Hates that he knows he's going to be alone for the rest of his life, that everyone around him will find real love, not this weird messed up fake love he feels, real love and leave him behind

He'll get used to it

There's a tapping on his window, soft and light, almost not there, and if it weren't for the fucking nerd herd making him learn morse code, he wouldn't have even noticed

Billy reaches up to turn off his turntable. Holds his breath and waits six seconds before sitting up and taking his headphones off and shuffles to his window.

Steve.

Steve's face is tucked into the corner of the window, all red and grinning.

Billy opens the window.

"What are you doing here?" he hisses.

"You ran away, we weren't done talking." Steve's voice is serious and Billy feels that sinking feeling in his gut again.

"Yes we were."

"No we weren't, can you come out here, I'll help you down?"

Billy rolls his eyes but swings a leg out the window anyways. Reaches back to pull his window mostly closed once hes on the ground.

Maybe they can still be friends. He'd be okay with that.

"Tell me more."

"About what?" Billy scrunches up his nose.

"About how you feel, I want to hear it again." Steve blushes and starts messing with his fingers.

"Are you fucking serious, is this some like ego thing? You're an asshole, you–"

"No I just want to figure it out, what's going on up there." Steve taps Billy's forehead and Billy slaps his hands away.

But tells him everything, much angrier, much faster, but it's everything.

Steve smiles that big smile Billy can't atop thinking about.

"So if I ask you out, like ask to start a romantic relationship with you, would you say yes?"

Billy just blinks.

"This isn't like a pity thing or like a gentle let-down, I've had pretty serious feelings for you for a while, I never asked because I didn't think you felt the same way but–"

"This can't be a temporary thing." Billy interrupts, finally recovering from the bomb Steve just dropped on him. "I can't do this we date for a while then break up thing, I love you, Steve. This is it for me but if this isn't it for you, that's fine, I just need to know now."

Steve reaches out and wiggles his fingers, knuckles bumping Billy's. Billy blushes but laces their hands together. Steve tugs him forward and rests his forehead onto Billy's.

Billy could cry, he didn't realize what he was missing.

"Dis you listen at all? I said 'serious feelings'. I know it didn't say....I didn't say what you said but I'm, Billy, I wanna like, do dishes with you and go grocery shopping with you and argue over who gets to play music when we drive places and pick out furniture and paint colors. I'm there, this is it for me too."

Thunder rumbles in the distance and Billy wants to live in this moment forever.

"Do you need to go back in or can I take you to get a milkshake from Benny's?" Steve whispers, thumb tracing small circles while the other hand traces Billy's fingers.

"Take me away, we can check off the 'arguing over music' on the way there."

Steve smiles and tugs Billy around the house.

okay so this is just my own personal shit about being demi-romantic, i absolutely do not speak for all demi-romantics, i just wanted to get this out there and maybe deal with some feeling im having too

#harringrove #fic #my writings #aromantic!billy #demiromantic!billy #also i know my writing style is weird just go with it

[sgtbbarnes107]

I Won’t Be Useless || James and Natalia

Who: Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff ( @russian-latrodectus )

When: The day after the Radioactive event

What: Bucky visits Natasha in the hospital as she recovers from her injuries. 

Bucky

Bucky had not entertained the idea even for a second that Natasha was going to die. Since it hadn’t been instant, then it wasn’t happening. He’d continued to hang onto that all the way back to Star City, through the debriefing, and through the hours sitting in a cold waiting room in an uncomfortable chair, looking at the motel art style painting of a cabin beside a stream. The fact that she needed to be there at all spoke to how serious it was. Her healing factor wasn’t quick enough or strong enough to patch things on its own, so of course it was severe. She just wouldn’t die. Plain and simple. 

Of course he wasn’t the only one who’d waited, which meant when they finally got her in a room where visitors were allowed, the odds of Bucky being in there alone were slim. But sometimes, like right then, he was. Staff had sat down two trays of food from the cafeteria, one by him and one on the table at the end of her bed. 

As she stirred, he lifted his chin. “я съел твой пудинг.”

Natasha

Natasha hurt. She’d been sleeping for a while, barely awake when she was and only enough to manage a few words here and there. She’d been hurt before, but Natasha had never drowned on her own blood. Now, when she stirred, her finger lifted toward James. “Bastard,” she answered softly, very slowly drawing in breath around the newly-stitched healing holes in her lungs.

“Is there water?”

Bucky

“Yeah, yeah, got it right here.” Bucky pushed himself out of his seat and took the little styrofoam cup and straw they’d left. The ice had probably melted by then, but he doubted that it’d matter. He held it out to her and, without giving much pause to think about it, took a step closer and held the straw up toward her mouth instead. “Better go slow.”

Natasha

She winced, pain wracking through her as she pushed to sit up. She was grateful for James as he held up the cup, and the water helped clear her head through the pain. Pulling back, she settled back against the pillows. “I feel... out of touch with everything.” Her breath did not come as easily as it had before she got impaled, but she certainly wasn’t choking anymore. 

“Wanda? Is she...?” She couldn’t believe that Batman was dead.

Bucky

He held the cup until she seemed done with it, then put it aside so he could sit on the small space of bed next to her. There was a way about the hospital that made anyone in it look fragile. It didn’t matter who it was. Everyone got the same stuff looking down with too few ties, the same socks, the same drab colored blankets. Natasha looked smaller than he’d ever seen her, though of course he kept that to himself. 

“The last I knew, Magneto had her with him. He left with her.” Bucky couldn’t do anything for her, at least not yet. She was his friend, but because he couldn’t begin to know how to help her he’d just focused on Natasha.

Natasha

She nodded. “Good. She...” Wanda needed help, but the team also needed precautions. It was an unfortunate truth with her. She was a strong teammate, but there was always going to be something soft there, waiting in the wings to destabilize her. Natasha wasn’t sure Wanda would ever be able to shake it.

“And... the others?” She was asking about everything else. Everything she could get out of him before she came around to the inevitable: ‘What about me?’ She was avoiding.

Bucky

“She needs help,” he finished for her, because it was the truth. Wanda had seemed to know it herself, though Bucky had not been able to grant that scene much of his attention. He hoped that she was able to find at least part of what she needed, but he just didn’t know yet. 

“Bruce Wayne is...well, that was what it looked like.” There was no miraculous return. Bruce was gone. “There were other injuries. Flash was the only other one with anything severe.”

Natasha

“Is that what this is?” She asked. “Severe?” It felt strange to quantify it, and it forced her to examine her situation. “What are the doctor’s saying?” Would her lungs return to a hundred percent? Would she walk with a limp, suffer from nerve damage or migraines? How much were they putting Soviet science to the test here?

James would be honest with her. He would do her the courtesy of not sugarcoating.

Bucky

“You nearly died, Natalia.” Nearly, of course, was the key word. If they’d not acted when they did or had perhaps slipped along the way, it could have finished the job, even as he’d resolutely been denying the possibility. “You’ll recover, as far as I know, but you won’t be leaping out of bed tomorrow.”

Natasha

The Russian set her jaw, looking away. “But I will recover,” she insisted. What the hell was she going to do about her studio? And there was bound to be fallout from setting off a nuclear bomb in Star City. She needed to be on her feet and ready to go. 

“I won’t be useless.”

Bucky

“What, you think I believe you’ll accept anything else?” He wouldn’t have either, but Natasha put even more stock in her usefulness than he did. “You didn’t die, so I’m banking on the idea that anything short of that means you’ll be okay eventually.” Short of regrowing entire limbs and organs, all of which Natasha had intact (if badly injured) he thought she could come back from. He had no idea if the doctors would tell her the same thing, though he doubted it, but that was likely to save their own asses (and money).

Natasha

She gave a firm nod. That was good. It made sense, she supposed, given what the pair of them had already survived. Still, having to resign herself to staying in this hospital room for however long. "I guess I'll have to figure out who will teach the girls while I'm down." She shook her head. "чертовы NOVA. How's... Is Steve holding up?"

Bucky

"Are substitute ballet teachers a thing? Maybe you should just close the studio for a little while until you're back on your feet." He didn't know if she'd actually do that. Natasha was attached to her students, and he figured that was doubly true after she'd been approached by one of them for help. He wouldn't tell her what to do. 

Bucky combed his fingers back through his hair and shrugged. "Steve is...you know, Steve. He feels guilty about what happened. He couldn't have done a damn thing about it, but that usually doesn't matter."

Natasha

"Not really," she answered. "I could hire someone, I guess." She didn't want to. The studio was the only normal thing that Natasha did. And the girls needed her. She was still actively investigating the case that had come her way while doing her best to protect the two girls affected by it. And plus... It was a nice break from being Black Widow sometimes. Still, she knew it would be stupid to try to push through this injury just to teach ballet. It still put her off regardless. 

At the answer about Steve, Natasha nodded. That sounded right. Steve would take it on himself even if he had nothing to do with it. "Idiot," she remarked affectionately.

Bucky

"Just take it easy for a little while and you'll be back in there. If you push it," which she was as prone to as the rest of them, "it'll just be longer." It was one of those situations where giving advice was much easier than taking that very same advice would have been, had their positions been reversed. 

"That's Steve for you. He's worried about you, worried about the team, worried about," Bucky spread his hands, "everybody." And Bruce was dead. That meant he was carrying the League, too.

Natasha

She gave him a grumpy look but accepted his words. For now. Chances were high that she would just hear them all over again with Clint. Looking down at herself, she gave a huff that ached all through her body. "Guessing I won't be able to ... go home until I can breathe without wanting... to die, right?" She shook her head before leaning back against the pillows. 

"What about you, James? How are you holding up?" She was sure that people had been asking after the obvious people: Bruce's family, Wanda, the injured. But what about the people that had been seemingly 'unscathed'?

Bucky

“That seems like it’d probably be one of the criteria for release, sure. They’ve probably got it on a chart or something. Takes a breath without cursing in Russian,” he smirked. But the fact that she could talk to him was an improvement, even if her words were a little halter and quiet. She was strong enough for that, so the rest would come back. He felt sure of it. 

“I’m solid.” He hadn’t been close to Bruce, and while of course he felt empathy and sympathy for the team and his family, the loss wasn’t close. Natasha had lived and Wanda was...being attended to. The city was mostly okay, though again he’d mourn the people killed on the bridge with everyone else. He’d been left in a position where he could offer support, and he was both able and willing to keep doing that.

Natasha

“Good,” she answered before giving him the echoings of a wry grin. “Then I won’t feel bad about... asking you to sneak me in vodka... and pirozhki.” Alcohol was an astringent, so it wouldn’t worsen her healing. At least, to her fiercely Russian mind. The pirozhki was for comfort.

Bucky

That got a laugh out of him. "I wouldn't do that for just anybody. When you get completely trashed on vodka and morphine, you'd better not sell me out." He knew it normally took as much for her as it would for him, but her body was not at a hundred percent and he knew that one of the drips they had her on was pain medication. For it to be doing anything at all, it had to be strong.

Natasha

“But you’ll... do it for me, Yasha,” she said simply, reaching out to ghost her fingers along his hand. She couldn’t really register the texture difference from metal to flesh but she didn’t care. They were all James.

Bucky

"конечно," he agreed, glancing briefly down at her hand. It had not really sank in for him that she could have died until they'd already reached the hospital. He hadn't let it. There hadn't been time on the ground, when Clint had been frozen on the edge of panic and so many of the others were injured. He'd had to make decisions too quickly and focus purely on the actions that were needed. Only once she was back in surgery did it hit him, and it seemed so wicked and unfair to even have to consider. Steve would, of course, always be his best friend, but Natasha occupied a unique space in his life that nobody else could have ever filled. He hadn't wanted to consider that it might be empty.

Natasha

Natasha sat like that for a while, until the scheduled morphine dose courses through her. Her vision swam a little as she reached forward a little for his cheek. Natasha’s eyes drooped as her head lolled. “ты часть моей души,” she slurred at him. You are a part of my soul. And he was. So few people were allowed close enough, and then some were sewn into her heart and stitching her together. James was a huge part of her and she was glad to be alive for him, among others.

Bucky

Bucky was quiet for a beat or two after she spoke, though eventually he turned enough to press his lips against the top of her hair. “Rest, Natalia.” Either he’d still be there when she woke up again or not long after. Since getting to the hospital, she’d practically never been left alone. He could have the piroshki and vodka waiting on her.

#from russia with love; natasha #discord; i won't be useless

[valkyriesryde]

Hella Feelings {4/?}

Chapter 4: Loving Someone ~ The 1975

Pairings: Bucky x OC; Sam x OC

A/N: Chapter four with @stuckonjbbarnes​ please enjoy and tell your friends 

Warnings: language, awkward encounters, a little bit of flirting ;)

Word Count: 2496

Previous Chapter ~ Masterlist

~~~~~~~~

The next morning, the girls plan to leave the apartment together. Holly has some work to do at the library, finally having a morning off, so she walks with Vanessa. Hopping into the elevator, it stops only a few floors below theirs. They step to the back to make room, falling silent when Sam and Bucky walk in.

“You literally made us look like idiots Sam.” Bucky groans, not noticing the pair behind him and Sam.

“My guy...I couldn’t think, let alone speak. Not in front of–” A snicker from behind causes Sam to fall silent.

Both girls are snickering because the guys sound like an old married couple. Bucky looks over his shoulder, a little embarrassed to see both girls right behind them and his cheeks go red. That is, until he sees Vanessa smiling at him and a huge smile takes up his face, making his eyes crinkle and his shoulders relax. Sam turns slightly, noticing Holly and shoots her a wink making her cheeks turn a shade similar to Bucky’s.

“HIYA SAMonella.” Nessa greets, breaking the silence.

“God dammit..Nessie.” The whole elevator erupts into laughter.

Sam’s laughter dies down to a chuckle as he’s watching Holly laugh and he starts smiling like a goof at her, “Hi Angel.”

“Hi Cute Butt.”

It takes Bucky a minute to register what she said but then his eyes widen. He’s standing a tad behind Sam and he sort of just looks at Sam’s ass, then back to Holly and mouths “HE’S CUTE BUTT? EW!”

Vanessa watches them carefully, smile faltering. But after a beat she shakes the feeling and smiles bigger. “Hi Buckaroo.”

“OH NO... NOT ME PLEASE.” He groans but he’s still smiling and his eyes light up that Vanessa came up with a new nickname so fast. The elevator doors open and the four filter out.

The girls link arms and turn left, towards the university. The boys head outside and follow behind them, casually.  It isn’t until they’re nearly at the school that Holly looks over her shoulder and yells at them, “Are you guys going to this university?!”

“NAH WE WERE JUST STALKING YOU.” Sam shouts back, causing the girls to pause and look at each other nervously, as the boys approach.

“HE’S JOKING...I swear. Yes, we’re heading to the school.” Bucky recovers smoothly.

The girls fall back into step with the guys, it’s a little awkward and no one really says anything but still, the company is nice. Then they go their separate ways, Sam and Vanessa one way and Bucky another, leaving Holly to walk alone to the library.

“Huh, you don’t take psych do you?” Sam asks, as he and Nessa walk into the lecture hall.

“Sam I swear to– You idiot, yes… and we have a class together.”

“Huh”

“We’ve literally sat next to each other in this class SO many times...you clown.”

”Look I’m not the smartest, okay?”

“Oh shit really?” Nessa asks, pulling out her laptop and earning a nudge.

“Right ANYWAYS, I need you to tell me everything about Holly right now.” Vanessa kind of laughs at Sam’s request but he’s deadly serious.

“Only if you tell me everything about Bucky in return.”

“Nessie, I would give you my first born if it meant you’d set me up with your friend.” Sam grins, giving Vanessa puppy-dog eyes.

“I DON’T WANT HOLLY’S BABY…” She shouts, gaining a look from several classmates.

“At least we can agree that she will indeed be my wife.”

“Or just your super hot baby mama...I don’t make the rules.” Nessa shrugs as the professor makes his way to the podium.

“Now tell me how to woo her.”

“Okay...first of all ‘woo’??...is this the 16th century? JFC you moron. Second of all, keep that sort of shit up and she’ll be putty in your hands..she herself can be a moron sometimes.”

“Ahh yes, a moron, I can work with that, for I too am a moron.” He crosses his arms and Vanessa rolls her eyes, thinking wow, they are perfect for each other.

“Now tell me about Bucky.”

“He’s a simple man.” Sam mutters.

“Is that it?”

“Yea pretty much, he’s also a chicken so keep that in mind.” The professor starts getting everyone’s attention and everyone starts to quieten down as Vanessa whispers to Sam

“You literally ran out the door when you saw Holly.”

“Pffft go away,” he sinks into his seat and cringes at himself.

“Make me, Yosemite Sam.” She sticks her tongue out at him.

“Gross.” Vanessa ignores his quip and focuses on the lecture, feeling very gypped on information about Bucky.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After class, Sam meets Bucky and Steve at the on-campus diner. Steve goes on about his recent idea of joining a Sugar Daddy app like it’s the greatest idea ever.

“Dude..you’re like 30.” Sam stares Steve down.

“And I have my own company, black cards, and too much money.” Steve responds.

“I’m hearing no reasons for joining a site full of gold diggers…” Sam turns to Bucky for help. But instead he berates Sam about being a dumb bitch.

“You can’t just tell strangers that we’re stalking them! Especially not cute ones.”

“It was a joke...and LochNess Monster is not a stranger.”

“Don’t call her that..” Bucky pouts.

“Someone’s jealous that he doesn’t have a nickname for his little girlfriend.”

“She is very smol… actually.” Bucky smiles and then notices Steve is staring at the table, “Steve you look like you’re thinking too hard...”

“What the fuck are you two on about?” He asks, finally looking up. Bucky realises they haven’t caught Steve up and he sits up a bit.

“OH, well man do I have a story for you…” Bucky starts in, with adjustments from Sam, both telling Steve about the girls and the back and forth conversations.

“You’re by far, the worst people at dealing with crushes that I’ve ever known” Steve sighs.

“But you do know us” Sam points out.

Holly and Vanessa walk into the diner with Peter and MJ hot on their toes and sit, unbeknownst to them, behind the boys. They have a perfect view of the guy’s backs, who are talking animatedly to the man across from them.

“So what’s your next move?” Bucky shuffles in his seat and scratches the back of his neck.

“I was thinking about asking Vanessa for her number but I’m not sure...” Holly kicks Vanessa’s leg under the table and she yelps loud enough for the boys to hear as they snap their heads round.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” Sam asks, having gained some self confidence from his chat with Vanessa.

“WE StALkeD YOU HERE!” The girls, mimic at the same time and Peter and MJ just start laughing.

Steve turns and looks the group over, silently judging the two girls to be the ones from the story. He’s not quite sure who goes with who because, let’s be real here, they both look like dumbasses to Steve after that outburst. That is, until Sam slides over beside the two girls. One disappears under the booth and crawls out from under the table to go sit at their booth, probably not trying to be squished.

Bucky watches Vanessa climb like the child she is and stifles a laugh when she climbs up from under their booth to sit down beside Steve, setting her books down with a thud.

“Thought I’d give them some space.” She smiles and Bucky kind of just nods, trying not to lose his shit. It’s Steve’s turn to kick him under the table.

“Hello, I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Hey there Stevie Wonder, I’m Vanessa.” She takes his hand shaking it firmly before he excuses himself and leaves.

Sam is determined to make up for being a dumbbitch in every other interaction he’s had with Holly and sits down at their table with a “We have to stop meeting like this.”

Bucky and Vanessa just start cracking up while Peter and Mj mumble out a “We think we’ll take our food to go” and quickly escape the awkward.

Bucky starts apologizing to Vanessa about Sam and she’s like “Its okay, she likes it.”

“What do you like?” He asks quietly.

“YOU.” Nessa realizes she just said that out loud and gets super flushed, staring down at the table.

Bucky has no idea what to say to that. Because like fuck..he also likes her. He pulls the top book from her stack, noticing it’s on serial killers from the 19th century. He’s smiles, looking up at her.

“Oh, are you doing criminal justice too? This book is great. I used it for a midterm paper, my first year.”

“Ooh, what case did you use?” Vanessa asks, not ready to admit that serial killers just fascinate her and that she’s not a CJ student.

“I looked at H.H. Holmes, you know, America’s first serial killer.”

“No way! He’s my favorite!” Her eyes light up and she seems to realize how that sounds but Bucky can’t help smiling at her passion.

“I mean..not that I love serial killers or anything but...he was the first. My god. Did you hear about the Holmes-Ripper theory?” Vanessa is grateful he ignored her outburst and goes into depth about her favorite killer theories.

It’s Bucky’s turn to blush because holy shit she’s talking to him and she looks so interested, even when he rambles about one of his favourite cases that he’s working on for a mock trial. Meanwhile Holly laughs at Sam over her drink.

“We do” and he giggles a little but stops himself because fuck did he just giggle???

He starts picking at the sugar packets and then turns his head to her, “do you know the history of sugar?” he asks while holding up a sugar packet.

Holly shakes her head and rests her chin in her hand and elbow on the table “please tell me, I’m a sucker for history.”

Sam beams at her, he shifts in his seat holds up the packets. “Well! You’ll never believe this but it was actually first produced from sugarcane plants in northern India just after the first century CE.”

“Please tell me more.” Sam stumbles a little, he’s never gotten this far but she seems so interested.

“It then made its way to the medieval Islamic world and was further improved and developed there...andddd that’s all I know.” He grimaces, “truth be told, no one has ever stayed around to listen this far.”

“That’s a shame, I’d love to know more. Maybe some other time?” Sam bites back a smile and nods.

“I’ll come with cited notes and everything” he winks.

“Oh a man who can research, I like that” Holly bites her lip as Sam throws an arm over the back of the booth behind her.

“There’s lots of things you’d like about me.”

“Is that right,” Holly raises her eyebrows and Sam drops the sugar packet he’d been fidgeting with and opens and closes his mouth several times.

“I mean...maybe...I hope so…” he fumbles, quickly losing the confidence he’d gained from before, he wasn’t prepared for her to flirt back.

“I hope so too.”

“Are students allowed to come to mock trials, if they’re not in the class?” Vanessa asks, dipping a fry into the shake they’d been sharing.

“I think so...why? I-is that something you’d want to do?”

“Excuse me, watching you defend a serial killer?...I’d be STUPID not to go.”

Bucky can’t even comprehend why she’d want to sit through a boring mock trial but more power to her. “But you know the outcome already...it’s Manson.”

“Okay but first, Manson wasn’t a serial killer... he was a cult leader. And also...isn’t the point to try and get them to change the sentence?” Bucky just watches her, not quite believing he could meet someone so cool.

“Here, give me your phone,” Vanessa orders and he slides it over, unlocking it.

“Annnd THERE. You have to text me when you go to mock-trial.” Bucky gingerly takes his phone back, almost positive his face is going to burn off.

“I SWEAR IF YOU HOLD OUT ON ME...I’m never gonna talk to you again.” She warns.

“I would never.” He smiles and Vanessa thinks she might swoon then and there.

Sam overhears Bucky getting Vanessa’s numbers and decides he’s not going to let Bucky beat him, not that it’s a competition but he won’t have Bucky bragging all night.

“Maybe I uh... maybe I could get your number? That way when I finish my extensive research on the history of sugar I can let you know?” Holly giggles like a schoolgirl and hands Sam her phone, he puts his number in, adds a smiley face after his name and gives it back.

“Hey, why did Bucky say you called me a sex doll?” Holly’s eyes go wide and she stands from her seat and starts quickly gathering up her bag

“OH THAT-THAT’S NOT-NOPE NOTHING NEVERMIND THAT! VANESSA WE’RE GOING!” Vanessa breaks her stare with Bucky, looking back at Holly like WTF.

“Oh uh okay. Bye Bucket...Don’t forget to text me.” Vanessa smiles, sliding out of the booth and throws some money down, linking arms with Holly who is all but dragging Vanessa out of the cafe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“UM WHAT WAS THAT?? WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT!” Vanessa whines, as they walk away.

“Yes..staring into eachothers eyes over a melted shake...is a moment, V.” Holly giggles. “I can’t fucking believe Bucky told him about that”

“Told him what?”

“SO you gave Bucky your number?!”

“DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. What’d Bucky tell him?” Holly kind of sways a little throws her hands about trying to think of the right words.

“You remember when I said he called you a cat? Yea well I may have...perhaps...then claimed that Sam was his sex doll…”

“HOLLY what the fuck...You can’t just call people sex dolls!” Vanessa yells, catching a few looks from passersby.

”It was a JOKE! But fine whatever.”

“You’re an idiot.” Vanessa’s laughter suddenly bubbles up. “WOW, so glad I’m not you right now.”

They end up back at the apartment and are waiting for the elevator, Holly leans her head against the wall and pouts a little, “He must think I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.” Sam’s voice comes from behind her.

“HOLY SHIT!” Vanessa yells, turning to the two guys. “You scared the hell out of me, Screech.”

Holly doesn’t look up and mumbles against the wall “It’s like I can still hear his voice.”

“Screech??” Bucky asks, extremely confused.

“...like Saved By the Bell.” Sam supplies, “Sorry...long legs. We travel fast.”

Holly looks up after hearing all three of them and can’t help but wish the world would open up and swallow her.

“Going up?” Vanessa jokes, as the elevator doors ding open.

~~~~~~~~

Taglist (open): @cant-decide-at-this-moment​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @buckysmischief​ @sebbbystaaan​ @supraveng​ @hopingforbarnes​ @dumbubblegum​

#hella feelings #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x oc #sam wilson x oc #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #sam wilson fluff #sam wilson angst #marvel

[stachmousworld]

Dear Dad, fuck you.

Pairing: Stuckony 

Summary: My take on Civil War, but with less property damage and as much betrayal and drama. 

TW: abuse both physical and verbal but not sexual (thank you Howard for your A+ parenting skills).

Ok, so you may cry and hate me at the end.

Also: This is the first installment of my universe A. The two others are: 

Dear Dad, fuck you Punishments

27 MINUTES AND 32 SECONDS AFTER THE CIVIL WAR

Tony would have never guessed it would have ended like it did. Not in a million years would he have thought that his dead dad would be his demise. He was dead for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t beat Tony, nor verbally abuse him anymore. He wasn’t there physically, and yet he managed, from the grave, to shoot him in the soul. Literally. There were no other words to describe the way he felt.

He couldn’t breathe, his head felt loud and light at the same time, he couldn’t stand straight but sitting down made the earth spin faster, if that made any sense. 

Eyes closed his thoughts spiraled out of the control and images. No. Memories of his dad stuck to his retina, giving Tony a full 3D experience, sound included. And eyes opened, reality dawned him: Steve and Bucky didn’t want him anymore.

You are a worthless piece of shit, that’s what you are.

I should have made your mom abort you.

I won’t pay for any ransom.

Why can’t you die?

Funny how when everything goes to shit, his dad is the first one he hears. Always. Tony was long used to his voice in his head, muttering death threats, insults, or influencing his suicidal thoughts.

Tony finally decided to sit on the couch.

“JARVIS, lights out”.

He flinched at the sudden darkness. His left eye twitched. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea, after all. He’d rather suffer under the artificial lights than…his breath quickened and his thoughts spiraled. He could feel hands on his shoulders. A fist to his left eye. A blow on his lower back. A sharp pain to his right wrist…

The lights suddenly went on. Tony gasped, body shivering from the phantom pain, the adrenaline forcing him to stay alive through all his tortures, while shock and uncertainty chained him close to reality.

Focus Tony. You can do it, whispered a soft motherly voice. He wailed at the sound of her voice. She was the only one he heard when everything went to shit. Not his mom or Ana, Edwin’s wife. No. Hers. He called her mammina even though Howard would have had a heart attack hearing him. She was a nurse, who used to take care of him every time he was kidnapped. All 7 times.

She was a middle age black woman, who had worked as their personal nurse in case of emergencies. She had given him more love in the first few months after his first kidnapping than both of his parents in years. 

She’d smell like vanilla and cinnamon and talk softly. She’d always have a twinkle in her eyes every time she’d tell him a story. Tony used to be so thrilled to listen to her. Whatever the kind of story, whether it was fairytales or made-up ones from her life, he’d feel as if he was a part of it. She never made him feel worthless. She even learnt Italian for him, calling him her Tesorio, when he’d show her his grades reports and inventions, Cucciolo when Howard or Maria were missing his birthdays, and Luce dei miei Occhi, whenever she saw him.

If he’d been her light, she’d been his sun in the darkest night. He couldn’t recall one moment when he didn’t hear her voice calming him, cheering him, reassuring him. Even she wasn’t here physically, she was still in his head. Always.

Her death had hit him hard. Harder than his parents. Harder than the Jarvis. She had always been his pillar. His guide in life. He could recall a thousand proverbs, phrasing, advice for each different situation in life. She had prepared him for the real world, and yet, he somewhat felt like a failure. After her murder (she was shot while going to church), he had totally lost touch with reality. His parents had been dead for a few years by then and Jarvis and Ana for less than 2 years.

Tony should have been seen it coming. Everyone died because of him.

He went to the funeral and sat in the back of the church, feeling like an intruder. He had jumped to his feet a few minutes in the ceremony and tried to run out, when his mammina’s daughter, Celestia, intercepted him, calling him in front of the entire church, his name resonating in the holy building. He could still hear what she said, loud and clear.

“Tony, my baby brother. Mom wanted you with us, your brothers and sisters. Don’t run, please. Luce dei miei Occhi, come back to us.”

It only took a few words for him to feel the sun. The light he hadn’t expected to see again.

At the end, he found more than a mom, he had a family.

And every year he went to each of their birthday. He had[AB1]  two baby siblings, two older brothers and one older sister, nieces, and nephews and even grandparents. They all accepted him for what he was and never used him, nor his money. They welcomed him when he was down, teaching him how to recover with love, a lot of talking and proof of fatherly/motherly love.

To say he’d been surprised, when he had to witness an “argument” between one of his nieces and her dad, would be a euphemism. He had feared the violence, the insults and other dismissal, but had been floored. They both had decided to go to their room for a few moments, the time to cool down and then talked in the living room in calmed voices. Not ones had he experienced an argument in his new family, even the most vocal ones, which didn’t end up calmly.

Never in his life had he seen a more functional family. More props to burn Howard’s grave.

“Sir,” JARVIS urged him.

Tony focused on his surroundings. DUM-E held a poisonous smoothie under his nose. How hadn’t seen him before?

“No, thanks, DUM-E”, he replied softly. “I feel a bit…nauseous”

DUM-E chirped sadly but moved away.

“Sir, are you all right?” JARVIS enquired worried.

“Yes, thank you, J’” Tony replied softly.

Tony stayed down for a moment. His breathing was back to normal and his migraine was gone. Maybe he should go to his bed and take a nap. He didn’t dare ask Jarvis for how long he’d been awake. He’d work on the prototypes later anyway.

           He stood up, wobbling on his feet and made his way to the doors.

You should keep Cap’s name out of your mouth, Boy. He was worth ten of you.

He never was slacking; you should take example on him…not that you’d be able to reach his level anyway.

You may be a genius, but you still couldn’t free yourself. What are you, 9? 10? You’re old enough to get away from these clowns. Kidnapping? I call it attention seeking.

At your age, Steve fucking Rogers fought against bullies despite his asthma and scoliosis. What’s your excuse? Go back to work!

Tony tried to tune out the voice, but they kept getting louder.

“Stop!” He screamed panicked.

“Sir? Your heart rate is to high, do you need Dr. Banner?”

“No!” He exclaimed. “No,” he repeated softer. “I’m okay”.

Lies. JARVIS’s silence spoke volume.

“I’ll…Where are the capsicle couple?” he asked uncertain.

“On their floor. They had restricted the access.”

Tony ignored the tug in his heart.

“To whom?”

J’ took his time to reply. It didn’t comfort Tony at all.

“Only me, huh?”

Silence.

“If I had wanted you to be silent, I would have put you in a coffee machine, J’. But thanks for looking after me.”

“It is my duty and my honor to do so.”

Tony went back to the couch, took his clothes off, staying in underwear and laid down. The lights went down to a semi darkness.

“Where are the others?” Tony mumbled, half asleep.

“With the Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes, Sir.”

Tony snorted. J’ must be really mad at them to use their titles, he thought, dizzily. As he closed his eyes, he felt the embrace of his mommina and a kiss on his forehead.

 DURING THE CIVIL WAR

Today was a good day, so Tony had thought. He wasn’t late in his projects, he signed contracts, surprising Pepper to silence (“No, I’m not going to die, again.” “Are you sure Tony?” Grunts in response.), he had even eaten his breakfast, lunch and snack. It was good day. Until Bucky came back to God knew where, dressed in a blue midnight suit. Steve was also wearing a suit. And by the look on their face, Tony believed he’d missed something and messed up already. 

He probably had forgotten an anniversary. But even as he racked his brain he couldn’t think of a single anniversary. Christmas was in a few days and nothing remotely important happened in this month. Nothing worth being celebrated. So what?

“I’m sorry”, Tony said unsure. He didn’t even know why he was apologizing and couldn’t questioned J’. Glancing at the others, he could tell they knew about this “important” day. And what was it with the grim faces?

“Tony,” Steve called gently. “Are you not coming?”

“Where exactly are we supposed to go?” he asked in the same vulnerable voice. God, he hated that. The tension was torture. He half expected Clint to jump in front of him and admit it was a prank. No. Cap would never participate in this kind of activities. And Bucky had always expressed his resentment against suits and tuxedos in general.

“Tony” Bucky sighed. “The cemetery”

“Someone’s dead!” Tony exclaimed fear pumping in his veins. He looked sharply around trying to find clue. The others didn’t let anything show. Even Bruce who was bad a hiding his emotion.

“Stop joking, man,” Clint said calmly. “You can drop the mask. We are your friends too, you know. No one is going to judge you for mourning your parents.”

Tony’s laugh erupted. They…he…what now? He tried to stop himself as Steve’s frown went lower and lower and morphed into a disappointed face. Tony bit his lips and coughed for good measures.

“Tony, can’t you be serious?”, Natasha said coldly. “Have some respect. We know it is hard for you…”

“You know?” He failed containing his hysterical laugh. It kept bubbling and escaping is control.

“Yes, we know.” Bucky intervened. “He was not only your father, but our friends. One of our closest, actually. I…regretted more than anything murdering them. If I could…If I had been stronger…”

“Don’t Buck, it was not your fault,” Bruce reassured him. “There was nothing you could have done to prevent that.”

Tony laugh died somewhere between Buck’s guilt and regret. Tony’s right hand felt too heavy, hanging by his side. He crossed his arms to relieve the tension.

“I won’t go.” He stated firmly.

“Why?” Bucky asked with a small voice. “Is it because of me? Because I could stay in the-”

“No Bucky. If you can’t go, I won’t. But Tony, we’ve known Howard the longest. He was our closest friend, don’t do that. He had helped finding Bucky when he was tortured and helped me adapting to my new body. He provided us unique gears. He was there for us. He…he had respected me despite my small height, my sickness. He saw the soldier in me. He believed in me,” Steve pleaded.

Tony felt the glares from the others and shuffled on his feet. He resisted the need to give in.

Stark men are made of iron, but you are none that. I don’t know who your father is, but it is certainly not me. Always crying, complaining…(laughter)

Look what you made me do! Stopping the production of weapon to built this…(throws the object at Tony’s face). You should thank me on your knees, boy! No one would do that for a burden like you.

“It is not the problem, Bucky, Steve. It has nothing to do with their murder or your friendship. You can go, but I won’t. I wasn’t going to, anyway, so it doesn’t change anything.”

Silence. Tony’s eyes stayed fixed on his biggest “threat”, Steve. He was red, not the sexy, embarrassing kind. No. The ugly kind. Tony widen his stance preparing for the worst. Steve would not hit him. He was 100% sure. But his words had the same effect anyway.

“Can’t you be more respectful, Anthony. Some of us didn’t have the chance to live a lavish lifestyle with caring parents. I don’t even know where my ma’ and pa’ are buried,” Bucky deplored.

Et tu, Brutus? Tony’s head snapped toward Bucky. What the hell? And “Anthony”, really? Bucky’s face revealed discontent. His eyes were narrowed and he stood tall and strong.

“I beg you pardon, James” Tony hissed annoyed.

“Tony,” Steve warned him, inching to stand in front of Bucky. Tony’s eyebrow went so high he felt a strain in his left eyelid.

“What?!”

“After everything they’ve done for you (to you supplied mammina’s voice). And you couldn’t do that? Going to their grave and commemorating their lives should be the bare minimal. After all, if it wasn’t for them, you’d be (loved) nothing,” Bucky spat.

“No…nothing!” Tony spluttered indignantly. “They were never around me. I didn’t even call them mom or dad, they had always been Maria and Howard. They were never there for any of my birthdays, celebrations, school representations, not even the annual parents-teacher meeting. I. Made. Myself. I was born alone, and I’ll die too.” He ended up breathless. He hadn’t wanted to spill these details. Hell, he hadn’t even talk about the worse of it.

“All I heard was “poor rich Anthony Edward Stark, mommy and daddy worked too hard to make the Earth a better world for me”, “poor me, I seek attention…”

The rest of Bucky rant was lost. His father words came back in full circle.

Then Sunset’s words “you were always too much. Too needy. Always seeking attention”.

Tiberius “I don’t know what I’d done with this attention seeking whore. Really Anthony is only good when he opened his legs. I don’t see the genius in him.”

Obediah “God, Tony, lay low for a few months and seek help. Closing the weapon sector, but for what? My attention? You didn’t need that for me to care for you. Don’t be delusional, what would your father say?”

Maria “Anthony, stop, touching my dress, you’re ruining it. (She called someone behind the 3-year-old Tony.) Hey, you! Go take Anthony to his room and locked it. (She went back to her conversation). If I had known he’d be so clingy I’d have given him some sleeping pills in his baby bottle. (Laughter).”

Mammina “Tony, why are you so far from me, come nearer. You know you can always come to me. (Tony mumbles a few words). An attention seeker? Baby no, where did you hear these words? (Tony stayed silent) Cucciolo, I would never lie to you, you know that. You are the cutest little child ever, and I have 3 of them. You’ve met them and they absolutely love you. You are the perfect big brother, Tesorio.”

Tony closed his eyes, took a sharp breath and straightened his back.

“You can all call me by any name in the book: whore, worthless piece of shit...” Bucky flinched, panicked. He opened his mouth, but Tony kept going. “Warmonger, Merchant of Death, attention seeker --” He spat the name. “...but it wouldn’t change the fact that the person you knew as my biological father was a disgusting man, and my biological mother an air-head bint”. Tony approached slowly from the soldiers. He felt enraged. How could Bucky even say that? If he wasn’t so angry, he’d cry at the ice-cold words of his lover, but he was on a rampage. “I should actually thank you. Thanks Bucky dear, you made me a huge favor: to not be in the same world as them”, he finished with a deformed smiled. He knew he looked demented. And for the first time in a long time, he didn’t care.

Bucky’s expression went from guilty to confused. He pressed his left hand flat on Tony’s collarbone to push him away or hug him, Tony couldn’t tell. He brought his own hand on top of Bucky’s, moving the vibranium one to his neck. Immediately, Bucky backed off horrified.

“Was it with this hand you choked her to death? God, this stupid bint couldn’t shut up! How many times she drugged me, and put me to sleep, because I was “too attention seeking.” He screamed at the top of his lungs. Bucky stared at him with an unreadable expression. Tony may have lost his got damn mind, and he didn’t care at all. He strutted to the elevator facing them.

“Do you hear that Howard, you “made me” Tony cackled. “I’d blow your grave, if it wouldn’t give you satisfaction”. As he entered the elevator, belly cramped by his laugh, he yelled through his tears. “Burn to hell Howard and Maria! Burn…”

   TEAM CAP 

“What the hell was that?” Clint said in shock.

“Stark lost his goddamn mind, that’s what it was,” Natasha replied faintly surprised, which said something.

Bruce was the only one not saying anything. Tony’s act had reminded him of…himself. But, no…Howard could have never abused him. Bruce shook his head clearing his mind. No, Tony just acting as a spoiled child. A very insulting one.

“Should we go check on him?” Bruce asked with mixed feelings. Tony had the chance to have parents providing for them and he literally wish them hell. The Hulk pushed his walls. Bruce took a few deep breaths. Tiny tin man sad, Hulk repeated in his head. Bruce didn’t even try to explain the situation, Hulk wouldn’t understand the situation.

Bruce put his head in his hands. He could feel the headache creeping.

“No.” Stave said categorically. He had his Captain voice. “I don’t know who this man was, but I’m...” His voice broke. “...disgusted by this behavior. It was not our sweet Bambi,” Steve finished lamely.

Silence.

“I guess Natasha; you were right in your report on him,” Bucky commented defeated.

“And I was starting to believe that I had been mistaken,” she reflected disappointed.

“What are you doing to do?” Clint asked tired.

“What do you mean?” Bruce answered, head still down.

“Are you going to bench him? Because I don’t trust someone who could say that and act like a maniac. And what about your relationship? I know it’s not our business, but we are family. A fucked-up one, but still.”

Steve looked at Bucky and sighed. Bucky had this faraway look in his eyes. His left-hand twitching next to him. Whatever he’d say, he’d not be able to get out of the loop Tony had pushed him in. Steve massaged his own temples.

“Is it how you all feel?”.

Everyone raised their hand, even Bucky.

“Ok. He’s benched. I’ll tell him tonight at the dinner. As for our relationship…” He took a deep breath. “If we can’t trust him to have our backs on missions…” He left the rest unsaid.

“We’re coming with you!” Clint declared out of the sudden. The rest followed slowly, still under the effect of Tony’s outburst. “Give us 10 to change and we’ll meet you at the Quinjet or the car?”

“Quinjet. It’s quicker that way. They were buried upstate.” Steve answered quickly, as Bucky fled. Steve followed him worried. He waved at the rest of the group and entered the elevator, next to his lover.

“Do you think he is…ok? He looked like he’d do something crazy. And that laugh…” Bucky’s all body trembled.

Steve hugged him and kissed the crown of his head. Bucky went lax in his embrace. He sniffed a few times as Steve murmured sweet nonsense to his ears. It opened the gate for their tears. Steve didn’t want to end their relationship. Tony had been his home in this century, helping him and proving him wrong from left to right. But…he had to be strong for Bucky and, most importantly, the team. He resisted the need to go to the workshop, pounding on the tainted windows, and confront Tony.

It must be a big misunderstanding. It had to be.

Please Howard and Maria, forgive Tony, he found himself praying silently. He himself had wished for his dad to survive the war and his mom to see him become a man. Please God, let it be a big misunderstanding.

If Tony apologized tonight, Steve would take him back, no judgements. He’d be benched for a couple of days, but Steve would hold to him for as long he’d let him. The pain in his heart matched the distress in Bucky’s eyes.

“You know him, he probably is working to cool down. Anyway JARVIS is here to help him if he needs anything.”

“I would have never thought he’d blown up like that. I read the psychological report of Natasha but dismissed it. Tony had forgiven me and given me a new arm. He even went into a relationship with us. How couldn’t we that side of him?”

Steve shrugged. When he thought about it, Tony had never been particularly keen on talking about his parents. Jarvis and Ana, ok. At first, even Steve had thought they were his godparents, not the butler and his wife. And when Bucky told stories about Howard, Tony tended to shy away and changed the subject. Steve was now frowning. Something dark and ugly woke up in the pit of his mind.

“Well, I don’t know. At first, I thought he never liked talking about them because he missed them, but after what we’ve just witnessed, I’d say he really hates them.”

“Do you think they could have been more than distant parents? He said stuff about his mom drugging him and his dad being a monster. But Howard had never been like that, right Steve?” Bucky asked, guilt pouring in his voice.

Steve heard the rest of his questions loud and clear. Were we so blind that we inflicted emotional pain to our lover? And the most important, what if it was true? Steve couldn’t reconcile the image of Howard, sweet and joyful Howard, and the one from Tony’s memories. If Steve…he swallowed with difficulty. If he were to believe Tony, and a big part of him already did, because Tony had never seen so raw, begging for them to believe him through his rage, Steve would set the entire cemetery on fire.

So, he hugged Bucky tightly and tried to reassure him.

“Sweetheart, no. Don’t do that. You can’t guilt yourself for that. Even blinded by his anger, Tony didn’t blame you for their death. He was angry and lashed out. He would have done the same or worse if it was me.” Steve refused to talk about the thanks for their murder. What the hell, Tony! Steve thought anger flaring in his chest. It wasn’t fair for Bucky, his sweet love he shouldn’t have to relive his worst moments. They survived the Depression, war, ice/Hydra and they were still together. Has everything been a sham? They had given their life for a better future, putting their lives in their friends’ hands, who were supposed to hold the peace torch, when Steve and the other soldiers couldn’t anymore.

But, it also explained why Tony was so jagged, his control issues, lack of trust, insecurities, big mouth…

It wasn’t fair for him too, their Bambi…Steve contained his tears. The mere thought of little Tony being afraid, unsafe (Drugged, he said) and sad, made him sick and furious. 

Steve deflated. 

No, Howard couldn’t…he hadn’t…

“He thanked me…” Bucky said broken. He pushed Steve, bending and heaving. Steve massaged his neck slowly.

“He didn’t mean it, Babe. He wanted to rile us up. You’ve seen how hysterical he was…”

It took a few minutes for Bucky to come back to himself, and even then, his face had a greenish undertone. A fit despite the serum.

“JARVIS, could you tell us if Tony is not okay, please?”

The AI took a few moments to reply.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes.”

Bucky nodded silently, while Steve cringed. What a fucking day.

   POST CIVIL WAR

Tony woke up at the sound of an alarm. He groaned and covered his head.

“Sir, the others are already here. They have prepared dinner and request your presence.”

“What are the odd I could charm my way out of this trap?” Tony asked sarcastically.

“Slim to none. Emphasis on the none.”

Tony laughed and stood up. His left eye was blurry, but alas, he didn’t have the time to fix it, as well as his hand, which gave him hell. Stark men are made of iron, he said out loud to give him more strength.

The voice of mammina replied full of wit. “Oh, really? I don’t know about the Stark men but my little Tesorio is made of love. No one can take love away from you. It makes you fly, melt, explode, you feel invincible. Once you love, Tonio, you could rule the world, and bend any types of iron. I love you, my Luce. I’m proud of you, no matter what.”

Tony wiped his tears. I hope you are still proud of me. As he entered the elevator, his phone rang. One of his little brothers.

“What do you want Darius?” Tony asked upfront.

“Listen, listen. Go on, talk to him” Darius replied in a hush tone.

“’Onc’ ‘Ony! Onc’ ‘Ony!”

Tony cooed and felt his inside melt. His baby nephew, Anthony, was just a few months old and already a beam of joy in his life. He had more pictures than he dared to admit. Sue him, his nephew was the cutest, with his little dimples and crooked smile. But then again, his other niece and nephew had him wrapped around their chubby fingers.

“Hello big boy, Oncle Tony is so proud of you!” He cooed in his “I’m going to melt inside and have cavities” voice.

“Do you imagine our surprise when his first words were ‘Ony and then Onc’ Ony’. I swear to God, we won’t invite you anymore. That’s the third baby doing that stuff. Are you sure you don’t have any magic, bro?”

Tony laughed through his happy tears.

“I guess I have some magic left from mammina”.

“True, true”, he conceded. “Are you still coming for the commemoration?”

“Of course! I have never missed one and wouldn’t dare. I don’t want mammina to haunt me and whoop my ass.” Tony joked.

“Pfff. She’d never do that. You were always her favorite, didn’t know why. We knew she worked for a white and rich family (Tony rolled his eyes amused), and then we saw your scrawny ass and lost puppy eyes. Couldn’t resist this kid who needed to be our protector, even though, he was pocket size.”

“Hey! Although I liked the beginning of your story, the wording could be better. I never was pocketsize; we call it fun size.” He pouted.

“Who? The members of your “fun size” group”.

Tony grunted. Darius laughed and bid him goodbye in a hurry. Apparently, his nephew had taken his diaper off and was smearing poop on the white walls. Tony’s laugh resonated in the stilled elevator. J’ opened the doors as he placed the phone in his pocket.

The sight in front of him made him frown. He prepared himself to stay calm and have a mature conclusion to their arguments like he’d seen with his siblings. Mammina’s advice about love was about to come handy. They at least deserve the truth and some apologies. Hearing them talk about his parents so fondly had made him angry, jealous, then sad. Why was he not enough? Could he have done better, be a more obedient child… no. He wouldn’t go there. He had to stay clear-headed.

 Steve and Bucky had changed clothes. They were now wearing hoodies and joggings. Their comfort clothes. Like him. He had found Steve’s hoodie and Bucky’s jogging, in one of his private stashes. He would deny taken them and some other of their items because it soothed him.

This was going to be long. He took a deep breath as he walked towards the kitchen. The rest of the team were standing up around the table.

Steve went on Tony’s left and Bucky next to Steve. Tony stared at them sadly. The fluffy conversation with Darius seemed like years ago.

“You had fun on the phone,” Clint noticed calmly. Almost too much. It was such a 180 with his jerk personality.

“It’s not every day that you nephew’s first words are “Onc’ Ony”. Well, the two others did the same. So, I was kinda happy.”

“Lying Stark? You don’t have no family left,” Natasha accused him, eyes narrowed.

“So, family is only the people from your blood, got it.” Tony replied without showing any annoyance. He took his phone, scrolled down a few family pictures and showed them one, where his papà was still alive. Before cancer took him.

He introduced each member, referring them as his baby brothers or older ones. His finger trembled as he reached the head of the family. Mammina and Papà. A little Tony could be seen standing proudly next to two smaller kids.

“It was my mammina.” He explained softly. “She was the best woman in the world. She took care of me when I got kidnapped. She was always here to help me, heal me. She built me.” He threw a glance at Bucky, who was frowning.

“Kidnapping?” Bruce asked in disbelief.

“Tony…Why would they kidnap you?” Steve asked, as skeptical as Bruce.

“I’m a genius. I was the one proofing Howard’s blueprint. By the age of 7, I had improved one of his Jericho. But people kidnapped me because of money. They thought Howard would pay them. He never did. (Tony raised a hand to cut the protestations.) J’ will send you all the medical reports and police ones. He will also forward my file from CPS. I know it’s hard to believe it. He was your friend and never showed his other side. When you both went down, he died too. He became…” Tony choked on his words.

“How can we believe you, when you were so maniac, this afternoon? You hurt Bucky and used his guilt to make a point.” Natasha asked, arms crossed.

“If you don’t believe the official papers, you should ask Coulson and Fury. They won’t lie to you.”

“What?” Bruce blurted.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked concerned.

“I don’t have the envy, nor the will to go through the verbal and physical abuse of my parents. Coulson and Fury were there to retrieve me from Shield office after each kidnapping. They couldn’t do anything because my dad financed the entire organization,” Tony explained bitter. “Call me selfish but this woman and this man (he showed mammina and papà), were my real parents and those are my brothers and sisters, grandparents…They are MY family. They chose me when my real parents didn’t.”

The room grew silent. Tony tap his left eye and groaned in pain.

“Are you okay, Tony?” Bruce inquired, with a certain unease.

He waved at Bruce, brushing his concern. Gosh, it itched. Fuck it, they already knew too much already. With his right index, he pressed firmly his temple and with his thumb pressed the corner of his eye. He felt the prosthetic pop out, disconnecting from the electronical socket linked to his brain. After all these times, he still felt proud of himself. He had succeeded in something his dad could have never. 

Everyone can create a missile Howard, but it takes a genius to create something so complex connected to the brain.

“Tony!”

Bruce’s voice bloomed in the room.

“The fuck!” Clint swore.

“Bambi?”

Tony finally paid attention to his surroundings. The lack of pressure on his socket almost made him come. If only he had his cotton swab and alcohol. He gritted his teeth to recede his pleasure. It wasn’t the right time to be distracted.

He turned blindly on his left and bumped against a wall. A human one. Tony raised his head and met Steve’s blurry ones.

“We are so sorry Tony. We didn’t know. It certainly explained why you didn’t want to talk about them.”

Tony frowned. They believed him, like that.

“Don’t you want to read the files, before trusting me?” He asked with a small voice.

Bucky shook his head.

“No, Doll. If you want, you’ll talk to us about it, but we won’t read anything. We trust you. Like you trusted me with my issues.”

Tony was left speechless. He had expected screams, fat tears and a few blows. It was anticlimactic at best. He tried to remember what Darius had told him about reconciliation. Now was his time to “apologize”.

“Ok. Ok. I have some apologies to say.” He held his hand to stop them, from interrupting him. “I should have talked to you frankly. If we had discussed about them, none of that would have happened. I should have understood that the people they were with you and with me were totally different. You’ve known them as your friends. And you wanted to visit your friends and not them as my parents.”

“That’s stupid, Bambi, and you know it. If we’d known what they did to you, we would have been pissed, and maybe broke a tombstone or two.”

“Steve!” Tony screamed flabbergasted. He glanced at Bucky who shrugged smugly.

“I told you he was a little punk.”

Steve didn’t even resent this affirmation. He was smirking (SMIRKING) proudly.

“So…you are okay?”

Clint looked so out of it. Natasha didn’t look like she really believed Tony. As if pulling his own eye wasn’t proof enough.

“What Clint meant, is that we still don’t trust you, Stark. And we had decided to bench you.”.

Tony step back, eye going from each of them to stop on Steve’s pleading ones.

“What?”

“We weren’t sur you were ok. What you said without context scared us.”

Tony’s left hand flew to his neck as a reassuring gesture. He massaged the place under his jaw. Bucky made a strangled noise, making him stop.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I should have never done that and sorry for thanking you. Even though, I am still relieved they are dead. I wished it wouldn’t have been by your hands.” Tony apologized ashamed; face pinched in a pained grimace. He sighed deeply. “I understand all of your concern and I…would stay out until you deem me worthy.”

Bucky surged forward pushing a frozen Steve. He grabbed Tony’s face, pressing their foreheads together.

“You. Are. Not. Worthless” Bucky said through clenched teeth. “I don’t care what Howard or Maria said to you, but you are definitely not worthless.” Tony couldn’t avert his eyes and felt compelled to spill more truths, Howards truths.

“You should keep Cap’s name out of your mouth, Boy. He was worth ten of you.” He mumbled eyes now closed. He couldn’t handle to see the pity in those baby blue.

Steve gasped audibly. Bucky’s hand gripped tightly his face, pleading him to stop.

“Cap and Sarge were never slacking; you should take example on them…not that you’d be able to reach their level, anyway.”

Bucky’s breath hitched. Tony felt two additional arms around him.

“You may be a genius, but you still couldn’t free yourself. What are you, 9? 10? You’re old enough to get away from these clowns. Kidnapping? I call it attention seeking.”

Bucky stepped away, breathing loudly. You have done it, Tones, they are going to leave you. They’ll see that you are not good enough and leave you, he thought darkly.

“Buck!”

“Bruce”

Tony opened his eyes just in time to witness Bucky breaking his kitchen counter and Bruce’s departure. Clint and Natasha went after Bruce, leaving them all alone. What the hell just happened! Steve walked carefully to Bucky. He looked wildly around him, in defensive posture. Steve’s hands were raised in front of him.

“Bucky, everything is ok. There is no threat.”

“Tony,” he replied miserably before breaking down. He sobbed in Steve’s arms, eyes locked on Tony. He raised an arm to make it come. Anthony E. Stark would have deflected and made a run for it, then hid in his workshop, but Tesorio raised by his fierce mama sucked it up and approached. Steve let go of Bucky and embraced them both, crushing them both into his chest.

Tony hissed in pain. Steve backed away.

“What is wrong? Did we hurt you?”

Tony shook his head. His right wrist was, again, acting up. He should have never slept on it. He massaged his wrist firmly and waited for a little whirling sound.

           Immediately, the servos in the socket released the prosthetic. Tony moaned as the pinched nerve in his human upper wrist relaxed. He held his right hand with his flesh one, as he kept massaging the injured one.

“J’, pull up the blueprint for the latest version of Dub 4 and add a note to look for any rust. And also contact Dr. Cho, for my usual appointment.”

“Done, Sir.”

“Thanks.”

Still in his thought, it took him more time to notice the heavy silence. 

Oh. 

Steve was again in his personal space, Bucky on his right. They both eyed  him with awe and sadness.

“I was 7, my third kidnapping. They wanted me to build something or were mad at my dad for not coming nor paying them. Knowing I was a genius they had the brilliant idea to extract my eye. I was unconscious. I guess.” Tony explained while massaging under the eye pocket. “The hand came before I went to MIT. I had already won multiple engineering /robotic prizes. They had wanted me to build a missile, the first one. Guess Obediah was already dealing under the table. When I didn’t want, they severed my hand. I was conscious.” Tony stated numb. He hated thinking of his past defenseless self. He wished he could hug and protect his younger self.

Bucky pushed Steve aside and scooped Tony in his arms. He squealed but didn’t try to escape for once. Steve followed them briskly.

Once in their room, Bucky laid him in the middle of the bed and hugged him. Sweet nonsense pouring out of his mouth. Tony tried to ask Steve for help, but he joined them and did the same. Tony closed his eyes, fighting his weaker side.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

His persona broke piece by piece.

“I want my mammina,” he cried loudly, tears rolling down his cheeks. He missed her warmth, her smile, her scent. She should have been here instead of him. He destroyed so many lives building weapons while she was killed by them. Mammina, forgive me, please, he prayed in his heart.

“We know, Doll”

“We are sorry, Bambi”

“We’ll make it up for you”

“We love you”

Bucky’s strong body in front of him prevented him from curling on himself. He placed his head his heart, as Steve pressed his body in his back.

Soft kisses made him relaxed. She used to do that when he had nightmares, kissing his demons away.

“I ‘ove you, too” He confessed softly.

“Tell us about them, your family.”

When I was 3, I met this nurse. She was…

   Notes: Two baby siblings one his Kareem, Ahmaud.

Two older brothers Darius, Joseph

One older sister Janice

Mother masterrliiiisssstt ✨✨✨🐱‍🏍

#part 1 of many #stuckony #tony stark #writing #marvel mcu #mcu #character of color #bucky barnes #steve rogers #bucky x steve x tony #tw child abuse #child abuse #angst with a hopeful ending #black woman #adoptee #family adoptive #black woman character #black characters

[theundercovermarvelfan]

(Still finishing up the 31 prompts for the Whumptober Challenge for @whumptober2019!)

Day Twenty-Nine - Numb

 “We need med evac now, right now!”

“Hawk, where are you, what’s the situation?” Steve asked frantically. 

“I… we’re…” Clint ran a hand across his forehead, completely unaware that he left a smear of blood. Natasha’s blood. He replaced the hand with his other one, leaning forward to add more pressure to the bleeding wound. “Nat… Romanoff’s been shot!”

“Barton, where are you?” Steve demanded. 

“I got them,” Tony said.

Clint let out a relieved breath. Honestly, he wasn’t sure that he could organize his thoughts long enough to be able to effectively communicate their location. 

Just a minute later, Iron Man landed hard a short distance away, quickly running over to where Clint knelt over Natasha, his hands pressed firmly against the left side of her chest, blood seeping between his fingers. 

“What happened?” Tony asked. 

“She… she got shot, she got shot!” Clint snapped. “She needs a hospital. Now.”

“I can’t carry both of you,” Tony said quickly as the suit kneeled down on the other side of Natasha. “Do you have anything to wrap it with? Stem the bleeding while I get her to a hospital?”

“Yeah, yeah, I can do that,” Clint muttered. 

He removed his blood soaked hands from Natasha’s gunshot wound and quickly went to work tearing off the long sleeve of his uniform that protected his right arm. He tore the material into strips, packing the wound and the wrapping several strips diagonally across her shoulder to hold the makeshift bandages in place. 

“Okay,” Clint said as he leaned back. 

“Okay, I got her,” Tony said as he leaned down and scooped up her limp body up into his arms. He took a step away from Clint and then he was gone in a whir of repulsor blasts. 

And Clint was left alone, kneeling in the forest, streaked with Natasha’s blood and staring vacantly in the direction Tony had gone, even after he was long gone. 

He knew that he should get up, he knew that there was still a mission to accomplish. But for some reason, he couldn’t really remember what it was. He looked down at his hands. The red seemed so bright against his skin. And his hands were shaking. That was strange, usually his hands were surgically steady. 

Natasha hadn’t screamed. There hadn’t been any reaction at all. The bullet had torn through her and she had immediately collapsed. Clint had taken out her attacker with one well placed arrow, but when he rushed to Natasha’s side her eyes were closed and her pallor was deathly pale. He had immediately put his hands to her wound, he hadn’t even been able to bring himself to check her pulse. 

Was she even still alive? 

“Clint?” He looked up and furrowed his brow in confusion as he saw Bruce Banner approaching. Bruce reached one hand up to his ear. “I found him. I’ll meet you back at the jet.”

Clint blinked. “Bruce?” 

“You weren’t answering your comm.,” Bruce said, crouching down next to him and looking at him in concern. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Clint looked down at his hands again. So much blood. But none of it was his. He was fine. He wasn’t the one who was hurt. 

“Is she…” Clint whispered, but couldn’t bring himself to finish the question. Maybe he didn’t want to know.

After all… after losing Phil a year ago, how was he supposed to handle losing the next most important person in his life? 

“Tony got Natasha to the hospital,” Bruce assured him in a low, comforting tone. “They are working on stabilizing her so that they can take her into surgery.”

It took Clint a long moment to really comprehend what Bruce was saying. If they were stabilizing her in order to take her into surgery, that meant they were still trying to save her. It meant that she was still alive. 

Natasha was still alive. 

Clint was up on his feet so quickly that the world tilted dangerously around him. Bruce was suddenly next to him, putting a careful hand on Clint’s arm to help steady him. Clint looked around, trying to get his bearings. 

“I need to get to the jet, I need to get to that hospital,” Clint said quickly. He could already feel the guilt gnawing at him that he hadn’t gone to the hospital to be with her right away. 

“Okay, take it easy,” Bruce said. “She’s in the best care possible right now. C’mon, the jet is this way.” 

Despite the assurances, Clint hurried through the forest. Usually he had almost inhuman balance, but for some reason he found himself tripping and stumbling over roots and undergrowth as they went. Finally, they came out in the clearing where Clint vaguely remembered landing the Quinjet hours earlier. 

Steve came down the ramp of the jet to meet them as they approached. His eyes widened in surprise as he looked at Clint. 

“Clint?” Steve said, a little unsteadily. “Are you okay?” 

Why did people keep asking that? He wasn’t the one who was fighting for their life, he wasn’t the one who might be dying in the hospital right now. He didn’t bother wasting any energy on answering that question, instead he walked right by Steve and up the ramp into the jet. 

“Hey!” Clint turned from the cockpit to see Bruce hurrying up behind him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to fly right now.”

Clint just stared blankly for a moment. “What?” 

“Clint, I think you’re in shock,” Bruce said. “Why don’t you let Steve pilot?” 

“I’m fine,” Clint said, but even he could tell that his voice sounded strangely detached. 

“I can fly,” Steve said, coming up behind Bruce, looking at Clint with sympathy. “That way you can… clean up before we get to the hospital.” 

“Clean up?” Clint echoed. It wouldn’t take him the whole flight to simply wash his hands. 

“C’mon,” Bruce urged as he put a hand on Clint’s shoulder and gently led him back out of the cockpit. “I’ll help you.” 

Bruce helped Clint sit in one of the seats in the back as Steve started up the jet. As Bruce disappeared, Clint leaned his head back and closed his eyes. But as soon as his eyes shut… 

“You lack conviction.”

Clint’s eyes sprung open and he gasped for breath. The image of Phil Coulson, dying but still defiant was burned into his mind’s eye. Clint had demanded to watch the scene on the security tapes days after his mentor and friend had passed, and had done so against the advice of everyone who knew him. Which at that point had pretty much been whittled down to Fury and Natasha. 

Clint leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him as he struggled to regulate his breath. It was still so painful to even think about Phil. Clint still woke up some days and didn’t remember that he was gone, having to go through the agony of realizing it all over again. 

“Clint?” 

“What if she dies?” The words were barely a whisper, spoken without the conscious decision to do so. “What if I lose her too?” 

A hand appeared on his shoulder and Clint mechanically turned his head to find that Bruce had taken the seat next to him. 

“I can’t promise anything,” Bruce admitted softly. “But what I do know is that Natasha is a fighter. If there’s any way to get through this, she will find it.” 

But that wasn’t comforting to Clint in that moment. “Phil was a fighter too.”

There was a heavy silence. 

“Phil Coulson was your handler at SHIELD?” Bruce asked tentatively. 

Clint nodded. “He was more than that. He recruited me. Took me in off the streets, took me off the bad path that I was on, and gave me a new start at life. He gave me a purpose for the first time in my life. He’s been the most stable person in my life since I was eighteen.”

There was another weighted silence before Bruce figured out what to say to that.

“I had no idea,” Bruce said quietly. “Does anyone else know?”

“Just Nat,” Clint said, and his voice cracked painfully just trying to say her name. 

“Did you ever take any time to grieve for him?” Bruce asked carefully. 

Clint was silent. Bruce already knew the answer to that. After the battle of New York, the Avengers had almost immediately taken over Stark Tower as their new home base. Avengers mission had begun barely more than a month after the Chitauri invasion and, in addition to working with this new team, Clint and Natasha still worked their own SHIELD missions. The fact that Clint and Natasha were pulling double duty since New York was often a topic of discussion with the Avengers, Steve always worried about the two of them trying to take on too much. 

“Maybe this is less about Natasha and more about Phil,” Bruce suggested carefully. 

He had a point. In their years as Strike Team Delta, Clint had long ago lost count of how many serious injuries Natasha had endured, had lost track of how many times she had almost died. Hell, this wasn’t even the worst injury that Clint would watch her recover from. And yet, he had never fallen apart like this before. 

“I think you should take some time off,” Bruce went on. “Natasha is likely going to have a lengthy recovery and you could keep her company. Take a break from missions for a while. Take some time and allow yourself to grieve for your friend.” 

Clint swallowed thickly. He finally lifted his head and looked over at Bruce. “Thanks,” he said roughly. 

“Anytime,” Bruce said with a comforting smile. “We should be landing soon. So let’s get that blood off your face so you don’t terrify the hospital staff.” 

#whumptober2019 #fanfiction #fanfic #clint barton #hawkeye #natasha romanoff #Black Widow #Iron Man #tony stark #Steve Rogers #captain america #bruce banner #hulk #Avengers #Phil Coulson #tw blood #tw mourning #whump #no.29

[shellheadtmark2]

actually, because i’ve gotten a lot of new mcu mutuals lately, and i need to redo my 616 tony stark care manual bc i wanna tweak it and make some aesthetic changes (because i’m just Like That), things you should probably know because i am actually 616/marvel prime/main continuity-based.  i swear i’ll be serious this time.  maybe.

the original flavor tony is not going to be the same tony you’re used to from the mcu - mcu tony is actually more marvel ultimates inspired, which is a whole kettle of fish unto itself and that i have a verse for, but we’ll get to that at a later date.  instead, meet main continuity tony.

+  he started his path to iron man in a very similar way to mcu tony, in that he was injured by his own weapons (depending on where you pull from the sliding timescale, it’s everything from landmines to micromunitions) that damaged his heart and left him slowly dying.  we all know this story, right?  he built the first iron man to escape and the rest is history.

+  the difference is, main continuity was dependent upon the armor’s chestplate for a few years. the arc reactor ain’t really a thing in 616, instead we have the rt node.  similar in function, only tony could use it to do unibeams without the suit.  anyway, when tony came back, he took on iron man as an alternate identity, and told the world iron man was his bodyguard.  no one knew for a few years there that tony stark - handsome, generous, kind-hearted benefactor of the avengers who opened his home to them - and the metal-clad adventurer known as iron man was the same person.  it took a mishap with molecule man and a tiny red silk thong (no, i’m not kidding) for that little secret to come to light.

+  he was in his very early twenties when he became iron man - much younger than his mcu counterpart, and he’s very, very good at being iron man.

+  his relationship to most of the avengers - and heroes in general - is very different.  his best friend in the entire world is steve rogers - he’s had a captain america memorabilia collection since before the avengers pulled steve out of the ice (which is another thing - the avengers thawed steve, and tony has always idolized him - there’s no resentment there - and steve was not a founding member, he came in after the avengers had already formed).  his other best friend is rhodey, who was his employee-turned-military liason for stark unlimted (formerly known by many other names).  his other other best friend is pepper potts - they’ve never actually been romantically involved.  his other other other best friend was happy hogan, who died a few years back during the nightmare of civil war - which was much more us-based and much more horrific in tony’s universe.  he’s carol danvers’ aa sponsor.  he’s good friends with reed richards.  he’s been friends with stephen strange for years.  he and bucky barnes are fairly close and tony’s the one that got rid of bucky’s trigger words.  he and natasha have dated...ish, and are close.  he was never peter parker’s mentor, as his peter is a full grown adult, but peter did intern for him for a while.  and was on an avengers team with him before civil war.  he, steve, and thor are still the big three, but they have a friendship that’s been forged in the fires of really bad mistakes and they’ve come out the other side still close.  he knows the guardians of the galaxy because he was a guardian for a while during his big vacation in space.  he’s dated more avengers and x-men than you can shake a stick at.  and jarvis for him is edwin jarvis, his living, breathing, now semi-retired butler who served the avengers for many years and is part of the avengers family.

+  he was director of shield for a short time after civil war and steve rogers’ assassination.  he hated the job and he hated steve being dead and he hated what he forced himself to do so bad he literally erased that entire year out of his head.  and to get rid of the database full of superhero secret identities stored in his brain but you can’t tell me he didn’t have a more recent backup without it.

+  his first ai was named homer.  jarvis actually was pepper’s ai, for her rescue suit, and was never tony’s.  friday is and has been his main ai for years, and she has a hologram form.  she mostly runs the day to day stuff that doesn’t require tony to physically be there for the company.  which, also, tony is still ceo, he hasn’t handed that over to anyone, and pulls double fulltime duty as both a working stiff and an avenger.  his eyebags are designer.

+  he was secretary of defense for a year - he got himself elected when he found out someone in military research was reverse engineering and stealing things from the iron man.

+  he’s in his early 40s and looks younger:  being an extremis enhancile for a while and then undergoing a full-body reboot does wonders for the skin, apparently.

+  he’s canonically bisexual.

+  is known for using himself as a lab rat for incorporating experimental technology into his biology.  ask me about the suit he carried in his bones!

+  he’s 6′1 with blue eyes.  that’s, uh.  kind of important to know.  he’s tall.  he’s lanky.  and if you’re not a metahuman he might just can kick your ass, because captain america trained him in hand to hand combat (of which he’s very proud of).

+  the ten rings are literally ten alien rings used by his main archvillain, the mandarin.  they hurt.  a lot.  and he hates when he gets an up close and personal view of them smashing into his face.

+  he’s not as quippy as his mcu counterpart, and instead is more prone to bad puns and rambling awkwardly.  canonically he has depression, anxiety, and ptsd, and struggles with them regularly.  he’s also a recovering alcoholic.

+  take mcu tony’s tech.  then put it on steroids.  then make it the craziest scifi thing you can imagine.  and you’ve got the barest hint of what this tony’s tech is like.  seriously.  ask me about the suit he literally carried inside of himself.  or the time he could control machines with his brain.  616 is wild.

+  he’s been homeless.  and i don’t mean rich people homeless. i mean living on the street, nearly froze to death riding out a blizzard in a doorway and almost lost fingers and toes to frostbite homeless.  tony’s a Rich Boy but one who’s had a taste of how the other half lives on more than one occasion.  he’s also worked a regular nine to five like everyone else and lived in what was...honestly...a really shitty apartment.

+  he’s adopted, and he has a(n adopted) brother named arno.  his bio mom’s a former rockstar, and his bio dad a hydra double agent.  you literally can’t make this shit up.

+  he’s incredibly self destructive and self sacrificing.  if things look hopeless he’ll be the first to offer himself for the pyre.  because he has absolutely horrid self esteem.

+  he’s a liar.  he’s sneaky.  he tends to make decisions for other people without consulting their feelings on the matter - partly because of a tony knows best attitude, but also because there are people in the world he’d do anything, and i mean anything, to keep safe, even if they hate him in the end.  it’s kind of awe inspiring and terrifying if you manage to inspire that level of devotion in tony, because really.  anything.

+  he has a playboy reputation, but he’s anything but.  you either get casual sex out of him?  or you’re married now, sorry, that’s just how it is.  he settles and nests with a vengeance.  he’s one of those people that would love to be happy and safe and loved and married and all that happy shit but doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of it.  his issues with this have issues, to be honest.

+  if you call him in the middle of the night and need an evac and you’re on his People list he will come.  twice in two days.  dropping everything to go to the middle of indiana to do it.  if you are sad and text him about it he will bring you food.  if you don’t answer his texts he will find you and check in on you.  if you feel out of place and adrift he will try to buy your baseball team and move them back to brooklyn to make you happy.  if you die and he can’t cope with your death he will buy your first avengers indenticard for 2mil at an auction because he can’t stand the thought of anyone else having it.  if you’re really special he’ll call you “beloved” and “captain handsome”.  sometimes sweetheart.  please note these things are all canon.

+  he dies a lot.  it’s okay, he gets better.

+  his irrational fears are the dark and cockroaches.  his actual fears are waking up drunk and the suit becoming a coffin.

anyway this is a Lot.  and it’s not even really scratching the surface so.  i’m gonna just drop this on the dash as is.  and you know it helps for me to make dumb lists like this from time to time to refresh things.  anyway, i know it’s a lot!  i know it’s different!  but my (broken) ims and disco (shellhead#8434) are always open for questions and plotting.  and my inbox, too, ig.  so you know.  remember we’ve got a canon multiverse.  it’s real easy for me to drop him in the mcu to make your day annoying.

#★ array . misc / do you walk in the shadow of men who sold their lives to a dream #★ subroutine . about / waging my wars behind my face and above my throat #★ array . psa / i can hold a grudge like nobody's business #long post #long post for ts #// me: i'll keep this short #// this post: incorrect

[dannydevitosheight]

Steve Rogers Character Arc

I just saw Endgame 4/25 but I’ll queue this post for a later date so I’m not putting out huge spoilers so soon. And this post is not to say I hated Endgame. I really really enjoyed it. Experiencing all those incredible bad ass moments with a theater full of people who were cheering and clapping and as excited as I was...that's something special that's going to stick with me forever. And I'm grateful for it.

This post is about Steve Rogers in Endgame. And to a lesser extent, Bucky Barnes since, let's be honest, he had almost no role in that movie at all.

I just. Really really need to talk about this.

In part, so I can come to terms with this but also because it really hurts so much seeing so many people thinking Steve's ending was perfect and in character.

And before anything let me make this very clear:

I'm a HUGE Steve Rogers Stan and I want his happiness

I also wanted his character arc end to make some sense

I am also a HUGE Bucky Stan and yes,

I am A   H U G E Stucky Stan and I’m really genuinely trying to be unbiased.

Because, I knew Stucky was never going to be canon, but I’m still deeply deeply disappointed in how Steve’s character arc came to and end.

And it’s NOT just because he didn’t end up with Bucky. Although leaving Bucky like he did is a big part of it. It's not because of what I always wanted them to be. It’s so much more than that.

Watching Endgame was, hard, for so many reasons. There were so many wonderful moments like HOLY SHIT STEVE PICKING UP THE HAMMER. FUCKING INCREDIBLE. And some really fucking awful moments like Clint and Nat fighting over who is going to commit suicide and the softness in Nat’s voice before she let go. And of course...Tony. 💔

But Steve’s arc destroyed me. I’ve been a Steve Rogers stan since forever. Everything his character represents, comics or film, has made a huge impact on me. Always been on Team Cap in every version of Civil War. I’ve been in love with MCU Steve Rogers and his character arc. Until Endgame.

I’m not saying I don’t think he deserved to live a happy life with Peggy,

but...why did he need that?

The First Avenger: Steve rescued the 107th, to get Bucky back. 

Steve wanted to destroy Hydra, for what they stood for, but also because of what they did to Bucky. 

Steve, liked Peggy. Obviously. But what really was their relationship? A powerful attractive woman who kissed him one time? I mean, Steve buddy I get the initial boner but how much substance did their relationship really have in comparison to Steve's relationship to Bucky?

I don't even mean romantically. I mean if I had to choose between my best friend since childhood and a hot guy I've known for a few months...I would pick my best friend? Every time? Wouldn't you? And wouldn't that be a perfectly understandable choice?

But, moving on, in the end of TFA we obviously know Steve sacrifices himself for the greater good.

Avengers: Steve just, did what needed to be done.

He didn’t really have specific motivation at this time aside from his own strong morality and wanting to do the right thing.

The Winter Soldier: Steve has a hard time knowing what he’s fighting for...until he found out Bucky was alive.

After that, everything  was about getting Bucky to remember, and making Hydra pay for what they’d done. To Steve. To Bucky. Once his mission was complete, Steve dropped his shield for Bucky. He literally was going to let Bucky kill him, because he was that goddamn dedicated to sticking with Bucky until the end of the line. The ship doesn’t matter. This is just canon. Steve was willing to die. Just for Bucky this time.

This wasn't for the greater good. It wasn't to end Hydra this time. He already did that. He was literally willing to die...for Bucky, and Bucky only.

Also, for emphasis:

"Even when I had nothing I had Bucky."

"It's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience."

(Not 20 minutes later who does Steve meet? Bucky, with pretty damn similar shared life experience)

"Then finish it. 'Cause I'm with ya to the end of the line."

Also, Steve has the hots for Sharon. Peggy's great niece. But he doesn't even know that. So like he just likes a woman that isn't Peggy. So. That's a thing.

Age of Ultron: Steve specifically states he doesn’t want a domestic life. After he has that weird stress vision about dancing with Peggy.

I don’t. UNDERSTAND. WHY. That was pART OF HIS CHARACTER ARC WHEN HE WAS JUST. GOING TO HAVE THAT ANYWAYS BUT OKAY.

Civil War: Steve literally did everything in this movie For Bucky.

"He remembered you, you know. Your pal. Your buddy. Your Bucky."

"He said 'Bucky' and it was like I was 16-year-old again in Brooklyn."

"Why did you pull me from the river?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"I'm sorry, Tony. He's my friend."

And for the second time!!!!, Steve abandoned his shield for Bucky. I don’t know what else to say. He did it all for Bucky. I’m. Do you still think it makes sense for Steve to go back to Peggy? Shall I press further?

Oh right, remember how he buried Peggy in that movie, found out Sharon was her great niece and made out with her? Like. Okay. We all hated that but they were trying to say SOMETHING about Steve's love life. And it sure as hell wasn't that he was gonna leave everything for Peggy but alright.

Infinity War: Bucky was shown to be dusted first to show the tragedy and significance of this loss through Steve’s eyes. The Russos stated this. Steve sits in Bucky’s ashes. “Oh god.” 

Endgame: Steve literally doesn’t even talk about Bucky. Ever. He says his name once to shock his past self.

When everyone comes back, Steve and Bucky don’t even get to have a reunion. Tony reunites with Peter, and Doctor Strange. Rocket reunites with Groot. Okoye shows up with T’Challa and Shuri. Later on, Wanda and Clint have a moment, a call back to Age of Ultron. Why didn’t Steve reunite with Bucky? Or at least with Sam?! The whole movie was about those lost five years ago and Steve like doesn't even give a shit about both of his best friends coming back from the dead. In fact, the entire movie focused on Steve’s loss over Peggy, who died in Civil War. And yet he talks about being unable to move on from the loss of the snap? Are you serious? They don’t even allow or show ANY grieving over Sam or Bucky. We’ve already grieved over Peggy. He already moved on and dated Sharon. So why the fuck is SHE Steve’s focus and motivation again? Why doesn't he talk about Bucky or Sam AT ALL? Tony mentions "I lost the kid" Steve doesn't even mention watching Bucky die a second time. Like okay would have loved to see how he moved on from that and straight back into Peggy, somehow. But alright.

This literally came out of NO WHERE and SERVES NO PURPOSE other than to reduce Peggy's character to be a boner motivator for Steve and to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that this entire time, Steve Rogers always has been and always will be a Straight Man.

In a story telling sense, it makes ZERO sense!! Steve’s character arc went from him being a morally strong self sacrificing fool to a deeply depressed man who didn’t want to be with anyone that didn’t have “shared life experience.” He found that. He found Bucky. The nature of the relationship doesn’t matter, it’s incredibly strong. That's been painfully obvious since TWS.

EVEN IF they were meant to be something like brothers, Steve should have stayed with Bucky. It seemed like the entire arc of both their characters was leading to them both getting rest together. Steve sacrificed everything in Civil War to save Bucky, so Bucky could start recovering and so that they could just, be a family together. So they could stop fighting and live quietly together. Chris Evans has talked so much about his character in conjunction with Bucky. How Bucky is Steve’s family. And Sebastian Stan has even stated the one thing that keeps Bucky from committing suicide is Steve. And Steve just. Leaves him. Leaves all of his family, who should arguably mean more to him than one girl he kissed one time in his past.

Is it a nicely wrapped up ending? Yes, I guess. But honestly, seriously, why was it NECESSARY? THERE were a millions ways Steve could still have a happy peaceful ending that didn't have to involve him leaving all of these people for one woman.

I feel cheated. This cut deep. I’m not going to lie. No interaction with Steve and Bucky expect a hug, repeated lines from TFA, and a pained, “I’m really going to miss you man,” from Bucky. We don't even get to see Bucky talk to Steve as an old man. That fucking hurts. We at LEAST deserved that.

Because he knew Steve was going to go back and marry Peggy. And that Steve was going to give up the mantle of Captain America. And I believe because Bucky told Sam to talk to Steve, Steve had already shared his intentions with Bucky before he went back in time. Which is nice but means nothing having it all happen off screen. I’m sure Steve wanted Bucky to be Captain America but he insisted Sam should take up the mantle. Probably because Bucky doesn't want to fucking fight anymore and was still recovering when he was asked to fight in Infinity War. Of course Steve wouldn't put this burden on him but why would he leave him? Steve was Bucky's closest friend, essentially his main support. Someone who could help him remember his old life and someone who could somewhat understand his trauma. No one else can be that person for Bucky. No one. Not even Sam. Sam wasn't there for Bucky's entire life. Steve was. And he just fucking left.

It's like. They gave Steve this arc across several films. One that broke down his faith in society and systems and pushed him closer to Bucky. And it's like. The Russo's (mainly) created this, really beautiful relationship between two men, two friends...but when it got too close to being possibly homosexual they had to drive a wedge between the two, one so wide there's no chance for any subtext to be there anymore, and no chance for us to assume Steve could be anything other than ramrod straight for Peggy and Peggy Only except Sharon That One or Two Times I Guess.

Steve Stans, wouldn't you say this ending is at least a little tiny bit unfair?! Have we all been watching the same movies? Going on the same journey with Steve Rogers? Regardless of your ships, you can't possibly deny the strength of Steve's bond with Bucky. How does it make sense for him to leave Bucky like this? How does it make sense for Steve to never mention him even once in Endgame?? WHY DOES IT MAKE SENSE FOR STEVE TO SUDDENLY REKINDLE HIS FEELINGS FOR PEGGY WHEN HE WAS SHOWN TO HAVE MOVED ON?!??

I literally. Don't. Understand. At all. How any of y'all. Can think. This makes sense?!

The Russo's Did Steve and Bucky Fucking Dirty in the End and Y'all Know it's True.

They queerbaited us. Okay. They did. They think having a gay extra makes up for it. Well it fucking doesn't. Because you know what else? I have one last thing. One last beef. The thing that really ripped my heart to shreds:

Remember, back in Winter Soldier, when Steve flirted with Sharon and she says "Oh and I think you left your stereo on?" And Steve is like oh thank you. And it's Fury playing a record on a loop. Remember the song? It was the only actual song on TWS sound track besides Trouble Man. It's called It's Been a Long, Long Time, and it's about lovers reuniting after WWII. That song plays just as Steve unknowingly meets Bucky for the first time since WWII. There is nothing to indicate Peggy in this scene. Fury plays the record. Fury gets shot. Steve pursues the shooter (Bucky).

And just before he does that, if you listen closely, with headphones, the song fades in and out at specific moments. These are the specific lyrics the sound designers chose to have audible enough to hear: "Kiss me once...long, long time...haven't felt like this my dear since...you'll never know how many dreams I dreamed about you...just how empty...without you."

The sound designers, editors, directors, make choices such as these to add depth to the film. These are the lyrics they chose from a song about lovers meeting after WWII during a scene were Steve (unknowingly) meets Bucky again for the first time since WWII.

And then they. Had the audacity. To end Endgame. With Steve dancing to that song. With Peggy. When they know what they fucking did in TWS. The sound design was very intentional. The scene they did that for was intentional. I can't possibly think of any other reason or way that scene and song would tie back to Peggy other than what that song is written about. But they KNOW that applies to both Steve and Peggy and Steve and Bucky.

The Russo's have been queerbaiting the fandom. And the more popular Stucky became, the more they tried to take it away from us. And when we pointed out how insanely strong and well developed Steve and Bucky's relationship was, they made sure Steve would never ever be considered bi again. They made sure to prove to us Steve's love for Bucky wasn't stronger than a sexual/romantic love for a woman. And in doing so they ruined Steve's character arc. They just did.

And before I get people upset with me, accusing me of hating Steve or wanting Steve to be unhappy...

If it was switched.

If Peggy and Steve were friends since childhood, if Peggy was kidnapped, experimented on, if Peggy was the Winter Soldier, if Peggy killed Tony's parents, if Peggy broke out of 70 years of brainwashing by Steve saying all of one phrase to her, if Steve gave anything and everything to save Peggy's life, to give her peace and just be with her again, if Steve resigned himself to letting Peggy murder him, if Steve abandoned his shield twice for Peggy, if you had experience the pain of Steve watching Peggy die not once, but twice right in front of him,

What would you call their love?

And what would you think if, after all that, Steve just decided to leave Peggy behind to spend time with Bucky? Wouldn't it hurt?

#endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers: endgame #steve rogers #bucky barnes #peggy carter #stucky #steggy #russo bros #it's ruined #they ruined it #i hated steve's ending and ill never be over it #fucking hell #fucking kill myself

[siriuslybuckybarnes]

Care (Pietro x Reader) One-Shot

Requests: Hello~! Is it okay if I request a Pietro x reader with a prompt from a list I saw earlier? If it is ok the prompt was. “No one believes me when I tell them I’m capable of defending myself.” please and thank you!

Can you please do a Pietro imagine. The reader can be an avenger and dating Pietro but broke up later. A very angst one. Thank you

AN: IDK how the angst worked out lol but hopefully y’all like it!

Masterlist

Care

When you’d met Pietro Maximoff officially, he was recovering from the near-fatal wounds he’d received in Sokovia.

The first time, he’d been unconscious on an operating table.

You were a nurse who had been called in to assist Helen Cho with the surgery and Tony Stark had been impressed with your skills, offering you an on-call position with the Avengers. The pay was too good to pass up.

Truthfully, the money from working with the Avengers meant you no longer needed to work at the hospital. But you loved your job. Working in the OR was something you hadn’t expected when you began nursing school, but you’d found yourself offered a chance to stand in and fallen in love with it quickly.

You continued to work your regular schedule, only deviating when the Avengers called you in. Which, considering their profession, was often. A quinjet would land on the roof and you would be at the compound within thirty minutes.

The second time you were called in was when you saw Pietro again, and met him officially.

Clint Barton had had a small snaffu that resulted in a small surgery, meaning your services were required.

Why Tony Stark was willing to outsource you, you would never know. But you were grateful.

Pietro had been walking into the infirmary as you were leaving, your bag tossed over your shoulder as you paid your farewell to Helen. You hadn’t been fully paying attention to your surroundings and almost run Pietro over as you rushed to get back to work.

It was a slow day at the hospital, but you still felt bad for leaving them down one.

He caught you easily, steadying you and freezing you with his lightning blue eyes.

You were a goner.

Things progressed quickly and soon you were making excuses to stick around after surgeries and Pietro was showing up at the hospital during your breaks. It was too easy to fall head over heels for him, and part of you knew it wouldn’t last.

It had been a long day, and you were running late to meet Pietro for dinner.

What had been scheduled as a twelve hour shift had turned into fourteen hours. You were dead on your feet, but excited to see Pietro after almost two weeks.

He’d been away on a mission and when he’d called the previous night to ask you to dinner, you’d jumped at the opportunity.

You’d agreed for him to show up at your apartment at eight, giving you enough time to change and make yourself presentable after getting off work at seven. But now it was nine and you’d made sure to call him when you realized you’d be late. He understood, knowing the pressures of being in the OR, and said he would meet you in the front lobby of your apartment so you could grab a quick dinner.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the last time it happened. And suddenly you were going weeks without seeking Pietro due to work and his missions.

You didn’t know when the doubts began to creep up, but after two months without seeing him, you were struck with fear that perhaps he would realize you weren’t good enough for him.

He was an Avenger after all, and you knew he could get any girl he pleased. So what was he doing with someone like you? Your shifts were growing longer and longer, as accidents and crime escalated in the surrounding neighborhoods, and you were sure he’d realized you weren’t worth the trouble.

After another fourteen hour shift that involved two different surgeries from a car wreck, you were at your wits end. One of the patient’s had had severe brain damage and their skull had been fractured, they died on the table and though you knew it was a hazard of the profession, it never got any easier.

Realizing there were no messages from Pietro caused you to snap, your insecurities taking over and you had typed and sent the message before the rational side of you had a chance to stop you.

“I can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry.”

The fear in your gut hit its peak when you saw his reply: “If that’s what you want.”

That was where it ended. That was where you left it.

Over the next few months, every time you were called in, Pietro was either on a mission, or out of the compound. It filled you with relief while also causing your heart to drop into your stomach.

It hurt how much you missed him, but you assumed he was doing better without you.

Especially when Steve mentioned in passing that Pietro was seeing someone new, though you’d already assumed he had to be.

It didn’t make sense for him to stay single.

You had gone on a couple of dates too, but you weren’t looking for a relationship anyway. Well, not with anyone who wasn’t Pietro.

Steve noticed the small drop in your usual smile and gave you a small smile in return. The other Avengers had noticed your change in behavior as soon as you’d broken things off with Pietro, but they were nice enough to let you alone.

“Good for him,” you replied tightly, readjusting the backpack on your shoulder and shrugging. “He deserves to be happy.”

Steve nodded and you waved a small goodbye as you made your way back to the quinjet that would be taking you back to work.

-

Seven hours and one surgery later, you were walking out of the hospital feeling like you’d been hit by a bus.

A hip replacement had taken longer than initially expected, meaning you had been standing in the OR for six hours straight before someone came to relieve you. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have minded, but having already spent three hours in surgery with Helen earlier, you were beat.

As you rounded the corner to take your usual route home, an arm appeared and pulled you roughly into the alleyway.

A hand covered your mouth quickly and you fought against the hands that pushed you against the brick wall.

Two in the morning meant the walking traffic was light and you cursed yourself for not being more observant. Bringing your right hand up, you tried to break the strong grip holding you to the wall.

They were wearing a mask and the panic took over for a few seconds as you wondered what they wanted.

Were they going to try to rape you? That was the most likely.

The slap forced your head to slam into the wall behind you and you blinked rapidly as you continued to struggle. Clenching your jaw, you brought your leg up to strike him in the gut and brought your right palm to his nose when he keeled over. When he released his grip on you, you screamed for help as you brought your knee up again to smack his nose again for good measure.

Turning to run, you saw a couple had heard your screams and were rushing towards you. They asked if you were alright as the woman dialed 911.

A groan caused you to turn back to see your attacker trying to push himself to his feet.

Something snapped within you and you kicked him in the side, forcing him back down as you screamed for him to stay down.

Adrenaline was pumping through you and when the woman placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, you flinched harshly.

“Sorry,” she murmured. “Let’s get you away from here.”

The woman walked you back to the hospital while the man stayed behind to monitor your attacker and you soon found yourself in a small triage, answering the cops’ questions while one of the ER docs assessed your condition.

“Jesus,” Jason, one of the on-call doctors, said as he stared down at you. “You’ve got a fire, don’t you? Cops said they’ve been trying to catch that guy for months now.” He was sewing the gash on the back of your head closed when he realized your reaction times were too slow. “You’ve got a concussion.” He pursed his lips as he stitched you up. “Someone needs to monitor you for the night.”

He stared down at you intently, his eyebrows furrowed when you told him you’d be fine. Not to mention that you didn’t have anyone to look after you.

You liked Jason. He was nice, and typically kept to himself. According to your head nurse, he’d only been at the hospital a year longer than you. His bright green eyes and goofy smile made you wonder sometimes how he had remained single for so long. But you assumed it was much like you: no time outside of work. You’d barely spoken to him away from the hospital, having been in two of his surgeries when you were on-call.

He had the typical humor of an ER doctor, dark. It helped keep everyone sane and from dropping into depression at any small mishap.

“We called the emergency number on your phone,” one of the nurses, Amanda said as she walked past. “They said they were on their way.”

You wracked your brain to try to remember who you had as your emergency contact, but were cut short of asking when Pietro was suddenly at your side.

“Are you-?”

His question was cut off by Jason, who quickly explained that you needed to be watched for the night because of your concussion and gave Pietro explicit instructions on how to look after you.

“I’m not a child,” you mumbled and Jason turned to grin at you.

“I know that,” he replied, reaching out to pat your shoulder softly. “But you know how serious concussions can be. I’d help you out myself if I didn’t have to be here for the rest of the night.”

Rolling your eyes, you pushed yourself up from the gurney and waved him off.

“I’m fine, Jason, honestly,” you insisted. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I can drop by after I get off in the morning if you want,” Jason offered, his expression nervous as he waited for your response.

You truly considered it for a few moments until you heard Pietro clear his throat and you shrugged, a small smile on your face.

“Thanks Jason,” you replied, throwing a quick glance over your shoulder. “I think I’ll be okay, but I really appreciate the offer.”

He nodded and you bit your lip, contemplating your next action carefully.

“I’ll-” you paused, losing your nerve before you could utter the words. “I’ll see you around, Jason.”

Pietro was holding your backpack as you stepped towards him and motioned for him to follow you out of the hospital once you’d checked yourself out.

Once outside, you let out a breath and turned to see him staring at you.

“You don’t really have to watch me,” you said cautiously. “I can take care of myself and I’m sure you have better things to do than make sure I don’t fall asleep.”

His only response was a firm shake of his head as he ushered you towards your apartment. The fifteen minute walk felt like an eternity, both of you walking as quickly as possible and remaining silent the entire way.

“I’m sorry they called you,” you blurted out when you arrived at your building. “I’ll make sure to switch my emergency contact so you don’t have to-”

“I don’t mind,” he said, cutting you off. “I’m glad they called me.”

You went silent as you reached the elevator, pressing the button for your floor as you tried to think of anything to get rid of the awkward silence. He beat you to the punch, his eyes boring into yours while he spoke.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, watching your face to make sure you weren’t lying.

“I’m fine,” you replied quickly. “Really. It’s just a couple scratches.”

“I mean how are you feeling mentally?” he corrected himself, watching as you looked down and stepped out of the elevator. “Are you okay?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you unlocked the door and stepped through, waiting for him to follow before you shut the door behind you. After you double-checked the lock, you walked into the kitchen to get a drink and Pietro repeated his question from behind you.

“I’m fine,” you replied again. “Honestly, Pietro, no one ever believes that I can take care of myself. He didn’t do anything other than grab me before I fought free.”

“You had to get stitches,” he said quietly, his hand reaching up to touch the back of your head lightly, causing you to flinch away. “No matter how well you fought, it had to have been scary.”

“I’m fine,” you repeated, turning to send him a glare. “Really. I promise. And you really don’t have to stay, I can take care of myself. It’s just a concussion.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if that Jason guy came by to check on you,” he muttered and you scowled.

“For one,” you retorted. “That’s none of your business. And secondly, I turned him down if you remember correctly. I don’t need anyone babysitting me, thank you.”

Pietro rolled his eyes and stepped closer, “You wouldn’t have turned him down if I hadn’t been there. If you’d prefer him, be my guest.”

Clenching your fist, you took a calming breath, determined to not lose your temper.

“For God’s sake, let that go,” you said, pushing past him to walk into the living room. “If you want to leave, just leave. I don’t care. Like I said before, I’m fine by myself.” You turned the TV on and sat down on the couch, settling in and preparing yourself to stay up all night.

“I want to stay,” he admitted quietly. “I want to make sure you’re alright.” He took the seat next to you on the couch and smiled slightly. “I didn’t realize you could fight.”

Shrugging, you clutched the throw pillow close to your chest. “I took self-defense classes in college. Single girl walking across campus late at night, I figured I needed to know how to take care of myself.”

He didn’t reply, but you thought you saw a small amount of pride on his face as you spoke. People rarely believed that a girl your size was capable of fending for herself.

“And you’re sure you’re feeling alright?” he asked again, this time his voice filled with worry. “We could have Dr. Cho look over you to make sure-”

“Pietro,” you said, cutting him off. “I’m fine. Plus, Jason is one of the best Doctors in the city. You can trust that his diagnosis is right. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“He said not to let you sleep-”

“Just for a few hours to make sure I’m not going to slip into a coma,” you finished for him. “If I experience any major pain, apply ice and rest. Pietro, I’m a nurse. I know.”

He settled back onto the couch with a grumble and you turned back to the TV, pulling Netflix up and choosing a series she had seen before. You wanted something she didn’t have to focus on.

“How have you been?” he asked suddenly, causing you to jump slightly. “I- haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been working,” you replied quietly. “Just- just trying to keep up with life.”

“Are you,” he paused when you turned to look at him. “Are you seeing anyone? Jason?”

You couldn’t fight the urge to roll your eyes at him. “No. Jason and I are just coworkers.”

He nodded absently, his attention returning to the TV and he sighed after a few minutes.

“I’m not with anyone either,” he continued. “I’ve been hoping to catch you whenever you’re at the compound, Steve said I just missed you earlier.”

“You people just can’t stay out of trouble,” you responded before you could stop yourself. You were there multiple times most weeks. “But at least you’re in one piece.”

“I miss you,” he admitted. “A lot. I never got to ask why you decided to end it?”

You shrunk into the couch cushions, utterly unprepared for the conversation he was trying to start. How could you possibly tell him that your insecurities convinced you that you weren’t good enough for him? It was bad enough that you was bombarded with his presence without warning, but now you was trapped in your apartment with him until morning.

At your silence, he turned to stare at you as you tried your best to disappear into the cushions. It wasn’t like you really wanted to breach the topic, especially since you didn’t want to lie to him.

“I just-” you let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not- I don’t feel like I’m enough for you, you know?” Your voice was quiet as you wrapped your arms around your body. On top of everything, the stress of the day was finally catching up. You really didn’t want to cry in front of him. “You’re a superhero, Pietro. And I’m just- I’m me. And I was so busy working all the time, I never got to see you and I was afraid you would get tired of constantly having to wait for me-”

He cut you off when he pulled you towards him, hugging you tightly.

“I thought you were tired of me,” he said, chuckling lightly. “How could I get tired of you? You’re wonderful and fun and cute, and you save more lives than I ever could.”

“I work in the OR,” she muttered. “You jet around the world and save people-”

“You chose your job,” he said, cutting her off. “I was- given mine. Being an Avenger, it’s a great job and I love helping people. But what you do, is so much more. You help so many people, just because that’s how you are. I’ve admired you from the moment I met you. You have such a kind heart, and I always loved watching you interact with patients when I came to visit. You’re amazing.”

The blush that appeared on your cheeks and down your neck surprised you. You had never been complimented on your choice of profession before. It had just been something that always appealed to you.

“Can we try again?” he asked timidly. “I’ve missed you so much. I don’t care if you have to work long hours, so do I sometimes.”

The small nod you gave was enough for him and he pulled you closer, cuddling you into his side and pressing a light kiss to your forehead.

“Rest, but don’t sleep,” he murmured, his hand rubbing your arm slowly. “We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Hope you guys liked it! Sorry for taking so long.

#pietro maximoff #pietro fanfiction #pietro fanfic #pietro x reader #pietro maximoff au #pietro maximoff x reader #avengers #avengers fanfiction #request

[solign0501]

Shall We Begin

Part 25

Summary: As a SHIELD agent your work alongside the Avengers means you and Bucky start to get to know each other but then one day you are ordered to go under cover away from him. When the mission goes wrong, the Avengers are called in for a rescue.

Warnings: Reference to torture/violence/vague sexual references/references to blood/angst

A/N: Here it is, the penultimate part - just the epilogue to go and I promise it will be full of fluff! I’m almost sad to be finishing this. Thank you all so much for your love and support through this fic. I wish I could say how it makes me feel whenever I see your comments, likes and reblogs. For my first fic, this has really taken off and I couldn’t be more proud and simultaneously humbled. Y’all are awesome. I hope you enjoy it.

You didn’t recall getting back to the compound. After the gunshot, everything was a blur. You remembered shouting, someone heaving Bucky from you. There was even someone screaming, though that could have been you. 

Bruce, keenest scientific mind on the team - no offence to Tony, had used what medical knowledge he had to keep Bucky alive on the journey home. Coulson had called ahead and arranged medical assistance whilst Natasha piloted the first jet. 

Steve had bundled you into the second jet, restrained by Thor and Loki whilst he jumped in with Bucky. You were frantic, which was making you more of a hindrance than a help. 

Now here you stood, covered in the now dried blood of the man you love, staring at the door through which he had just been stretchered away. Your legs were lead and everything around you was a deafening hum. 

“Y/N!” Sam’s voice drew your attention as he shook you, finally pulling you into the present moment. “Y/N are you alright? Were you hurt?” You shook your head as you registered what he was asking. “Come on, let’s get you checked over anyway.”

He draped your arm over his shoulder and wrapped his own around your waist as he half walked-half carried you towards the med bay. You saw the doors leading to the operating theatre swing open as you approached and Steve  stepped out, the sound of voices and bleeping machines hitting your ears. His hands were as red as his eyes as he looked at you. You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. 

Suddenly there was the sound of an alarm bleeping and two nurses rounded the corner at speed with a crash cart, disappearing into the room where Bucky lay. The sound of a single, continuous monitor tone reached your ears in the brief moment when the doors were open and your legs buckled. You were unconscious before you hit the floor, the last thing you recalled seeing were Steve’s hands, still covered in his blood, reaching out to catch you. 

*******************************************************************************************

You blinked awake slowly, harsh fluorescent light stinging your eyes and making you groan. Your throat was dry and it felt like you had swallowed something large and whole which had become lodged partway down. 

With a groan, you tried to sit up, brain scrambling to piece together where you were and why. Without warning, it hit you and you gave out a strangled cry, darting upright so quickly that you almost fell off the bed. 

“Easy there doll, you'll hurt yourself.” The croak was quiet but every syllable sounded like the loudest, sweetest music. Your head snapped to the right as your eyes locked onto two orbs of the most beautiful blue you had ever seen. Bucky smiled weakly and your heart skipped.

“You’re...” you said, almost unable to form the right words. “I thought...”

“I’m here, love, I’m okay.” 

“Oh, thank god,” you sobbed as you launched yourself from the bed and flung yourself towards him. 

“Woah!” He half-laughed as he held up his flesh arm to protect himself, his metal arm having been removed temporarily during surgery. “I’m alive, but I’m still a wounded man.” That was when you saw the bandage around his abdomen and you broke down, tears running freely from your eyes as you struggled to regain a steady rhythm with your breathing. 

“I’m so sorry,” you hiccoughed around your tears. “You were trying to save me. That was meant for me and you saved me. You could have died.”

“Technically I did...”he said, instantly regretting it as you launched into a fresh round of wailing sobs. “Hey, hey, come on now doll.” He made his voice as soothing as a post-op dehydrated grumble can be and reached out for you. Without a word, you clambered onto the bed beside him, careful to avoid touching the bandaged area, resting your head in the crook of his scarred shoulder. After a minute you managed to get your tears under control. 

“I nearly lost you. You took a bullet for me, but I’m the one acting up about it,” you said eventually, admonishing yourself, your voice thick with emotion.

“And I’d do it again, no hesitation.” The seriousness of his tone caught your attention and you propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him. He had never looked so sincere and you swallowed hard at the intense look in his eyes. 

“I wouldn’t ask you to,” you said. “Not after...” He shook his head, cutting you off. 

“That wasn’t your fault. I know that now. I over-reacted at the time and didn’t give you chance to explain. For that, I can’t apologise enough.”

“You don’t need to, you never need to apologise, not to me. I should have known, I should have been able to tell sooner.”

“Hey,” Bucky gave a half-shrug, wincing slightly at the pain the movement caused him, “he’s one heck of a trickster.”

“Well,” you said, smiling briefly. “He is the god of mischief.”

“Yeah well, he ain’t my god doll, so there’s no way he’s taking you away from me.” 

“Never.” It was your turn to be deadly serious. “If this whole thing has taught me anything, it’s how much I can’t do without you. I don’t know what would have happened today if you weren’t there. Even if you did break protocol and go rogue to help me.”

“You’re welcome,” he said with a wink. Gingerly, he reached up with his one arm and cupped your chin, running his thumb across your damp cheek. “I love you so much,” he whispered. You slithered a little up the bed, careful not to jolt him. Then, leaning forward you turned his head towards you and captured his lips in the sweetest, yet most passionate kiss you could muster. 

“I love you too,” you breathed against his lips.

****************************************************************************************

Bucky stayed in recovery for over a week, the bed next to him being kept there for your use so that you could stay with him - something that apparently Steve had insisted on, and something that you thanked him for profusely the first time he came to visit. 

Day by day Bucky regained his strength, his dose of the super soldier serum playing its part in his accelerated healing. Eventually he was strong enough to have the weight of his arm back on again, then to leave the med bay for short walks, and finally to return back to the residential quarters in the main compound. 

Whilst he was recovering, Tony and Steve had worked together to move both of your things into a larger room and he was able to integrate back into normal life. Doctor Palmer advised that training should wait until he was fully recovered, but that didn’t stop him from coming along to watch and encourage you. 

Loki had been in to visit during his recovery and whilst it was tense at first, Bucky had offered his hand for Loki to shake, thanking him for his part in getting you out from under Lukin’s control. Conversation had flown easily after a while and the three of you seemed to get on well, much to Steve’s concern. You pointed out that all three of you had been brain-washed at some point or other and after Bucky’s lame joke of you being the brain-wash trust, the nickname stuck - especially once Tony got wind of it. 

A movie night was organised for when Bucky was finally given the all clear and he got to choose the film.

“It has to be Karate Kid,” he said when you and Steve brought the idea to him. 

“But you’ve already seen that one...” Steve pointed out, arching an eyebrow. Bucky looked over at you. 

“Yeah, I saw it after one life-changing moment, only fair I watch it again after another.” You and Steve looked at each other with matching quizzical expressions before the blonde man shook his head. 

“Sure Buck, it’s your night. I’ll go tell the others and we’ll set it up. See you down there.” With that he left and you turned to Bucky.

“You do know they remade it, right? Fairly recently, with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith.” Bucky’s blank look made you chuckle. “Remind me to introduce you to the Smith family. Fresh Prince of Bel Air, you’re gonna love it.” You turned to leave but paused as you felt Bucky’s hand on your arm. You spun back round to him, your smile faltering as you saw the serious look on his face. 

“Buck, honey, are you okay?” you asked, concern seeping like cold ice into your bones. Without a word, he reached past you and shut the door to your room. Then, hand still on your arm, he steered you over to the bed and sat down, pulling you down next to him.

“You know,” he said after a moment, his voice so low you had to strain to hear him, even with the air of the serum. “I’ve been through so many things, done so many things, but I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been truly scared.”

“Pun intended?” you said, trying to diffuse the sudden tension with humour, but he didn’t seem to hear you.

“The first was when I fell from that train, the second when I woke up in Zola’s lab. The next was when Hydra got you the first time, then when I saw Loki handing you over to Lukin. And then there’s right now.” He looked up at you and you could see the fear in his eyes. You reached out and took his hands in yours.

“What’s wrong Buck?” you asked, your own fear starting to build. “Why are you scared? What’s happening?” He sat in silence for a moment, then stood and paced as a thousand scenarios flitted rapidly through your mind. He came to a brief stop in front of you, looked as though he was about to say something, then started to pace again. You waited patiently, knowing that words didn’t come as easy to him as they may have done before the War. 

“This isn’t how I should be doing this,” he said eventually. sighing deeply as he raked his flesh hand over his face. “You deserve better. Wine, candles, a nice dinner. More than...” he gestured wildly to the room around you, “more than this.”

“Bucky,” you said, finally becoming a little exasperated. “What on earth are you going on about?” 

“Marry me,” he blurted out. Immediately he clamped his mouth shut, as though horrified at the words that had just left it. You sat, stunned, simply blinking at him for a moment as the words sunk in.

“Did you just...?” You couldn’t formulate the question properly. it seemed so bizarre. After a second you burst out laughing, the tension resolving itself to hysteria with you. Bucky looked confused, then offended, then he too started laughing. 

Eventually the laughter died down and the seriousness returned as you looked at each other, but it had been enough to give him confidence. Taking two strides towards you, Bucky grabbed your hands in his and dropped to his knee before you, wincing slightly at the residual pain from his now almost completely healed wound. 

“Y/N, I don’t honestly know how long I’ve been in love with you for. Sometimes it seems only days, others like it’s been my whole life. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to take another breath without you being mine completely, body and soul. I know I’m old-fashioned and I know that marriage may not be exactly high on your list of priorities, but I can’t think of anything I want more in this whole world. You have made me a better man and I promise that if you say yes, I will spend every day of however long our lives now are showing you exactly what you mean to me.” He looked down, looking slightly sheepish. “Now, I know I’m not perfect but if you’ll take me, incomplete as I am, then I’ll be yours completely.” He trailed off, waiting for your answer, but none came. Tensing slightly, he chanced a look up at your face and his heart stopped. 

Tears brimmed in your eyes as you looked at him, biting your lips together over the top of your teeth to hold back the sobs that threatened to spill forth from them. Slowly, you nodded, becoming more emphatic with the movement as his face lit up.

“Yes,” you choked, your throat feeling like it was closing in on itself. “A hundred, thousand times over, yes!” You launched yourself forward onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck and planting salt-tinged kisses all over his face. 

“Oh thank God,” he breathed, pulling you into a tight embrace and burying his face in your hair. “You had me worried for a second there, doll.”

“As if I could ever refuse you!” you said with a laugh.

“Good thing too,” he admitted as the two of you finally pulled away from each other. “I don’t know how I would have broken it to your mother. I swear, she was so excited when I asked for her permission that you’d think I was asking her to marry me instead.” You threw back your head and laughed. 

“She’s just happy I’ve found somebody mad enough to take me.” You sighed deeply and looked into the eyes of your now fiancé. “Mrs Y/N Barnes... how grown-up that sounds!”

“Well, you are technically engaged to centenarian now...” he pointed out.

“Ewww,” you said, pretending to be grossed out and batting his hand away. “That’s gross. I take it back!”

“Nuh uh,” Bucky said, standing and pulling you up with him and into his arms. “You said yes, that’s for life now, doll.”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you said as you kissed him.

@hillywooddestiel @imaginecrushes @thebookisbtr @fandomlover03 @rosep16 @marassberry @capandbuck @not-so-bad-ass @diinofayce @characterxreader @steverogersbish @rediscoveringdebbie84-deactivat @amor67figment-love @markusstraya @theglowstickofdestiny @littlerinoa @slowlybeingforgotten @captainwinterfalcon

#bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #Steve Rogers #Winter Soldier #winter solider x reader #avenger reader #avenger you #Avengers #captain america #natasha romanoff #Black Widow #bruce banner #The Hulk #christine palmer #clint barton #hawkeye #loki #Loki Laufeyson #Thor Odinson #thor #sam wilson #falcon #shall we begin

[soldierwinterthe]

Summary: Y/n, working for the CIA and with Everett Ross, meets his friend T'Challa, who became the king of Wakanda. When Ross is injured, T'Challa decides to treat him in his kingdom, and to bring Y/n with him. There she will find out that her old sleeping friend has awakened.

Warnings: mentions of the fight, people who kick asses

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, T'Challa x Reader (friendship)

Characters: Shuri, Everett Ross, Ulysses Klaue

A/N: I wrote this time ago. The day after seeing Black Panther, to be honest; however, I waited, and now I have finished and published for the #sanasfluffinesschallenge , by @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester (thanks for letting me participate!) The Prompt is: “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

After permanently abandoning the SHIELD, and having fought in the Civil War between Captain America and Iron Man because of the Sokovia Accords, Y/n has wandered around America, looking for some stability, a normal life.

But it lasted less than a month in Kansas; calm and normal life is not for her. That's why she accepted the offer of Everett Ross, an American CIA agent; he needed... advice, on the changing world, about strange creatures with strange powers that threatened the people of the United States of America.

Y/n knew she couldn't trust the CIA; SHIELD had been a disappointment, and the others were not different. A few missions later, Agent Ross and Y/n left for North Korea; their mission is to do business with Ulysses Klaue, the one who stole the vibranium from Wakanda.

Ross would buy the vibranium as evidence of Klaue's crime, and then they would arrest him. Y/n, however, didn't imagine meeting her old friend: T'Challa.

Even if she tries to hide between the clandestine casino games where she and Ross are waiting for Klaue, T'Challa can see her, and walks calmly toward her. Y/n has always been fascinated by the kingdom of Wakanda, and at T'Challa. He has that calm – apparent – that not everyone can have. 

"Y/n, I'm very happy to see you again. I didn't think you worked for the CIA."

Y/n turns to look at T'Challa, and after a moment of utmost seriousness, the two guys begin to laugh, and they hug each other.

"T'Challa, it's been a while since I heard you. And no, I don't work for the CIA, not really. I'm a kind of consultant.”

"I hope your advice doesn't include information on Wakanda." says T'Challa, returning completely serious. Y/n looks around to check her 'colleague' and the perimeter, then she moves her gaze back to her friend. 

"Absolutely not. You know I would never tell anyone the truth about your Kingdom, I owe you. For what you did for me, and for what you did for..."

"Yes, I know. I know you would never betray me. Are you here for Klaue?"

During their conversation, the two guys try not to attract attention, stopping from time to time near the roulette tables, or playing poker; Y/n notices a girl sitting near the bar looking around, to always shift her gaze on T'Challa. Probably she's with T'Challa, thinks Y/n.

"I don't know, but Ross is definitely here for Klaue. He wants to arrest him at all costs."

"He's mine. My father spent half of his life trying to catch him, to avenge the deaths he caused in Wakanda. He has to pay for the harm he has done."

"I know T'Challa."

Y/n puts a hand on her friend's shoulder to try to calm him down; she knows very well the story of Wakanda, and how years ago Ulysses Klaue had stolen the vibranium, and had killed some people of the Wakanda people. When T'Challa's father died, his son suffered a lot, and he still suffers. It is not easy to lose a parent.

"I think you need to talk to Ross; you could convince him to leave Klaue to me. Please, Y/n."

"All right, T'Challa. I'll see what I can do."

Everett Ross is an idiot. Y/n has always thought about it, and she was right. 

When she asked the agent to help T'Challa, he decided not to; at least, not completely. He offered T'Challa only a quick interrogation with the man, after which Klaue would go into the hands of the CIA.

Things didn't go very well.

Ulysses Klaue in chains, Ross and T'Challa arguing about what to do, and someone, thanks to a bomb, managed to evade the prisoner.

The men who helped Klaue were armed, and Ross was hurt, to protect the girl who kept watching T'Challa at the casino; as Y/n had imagined her, and also another woman – belonging to the Wakanda guards – were with the Wakanda's King to help him.

The injury of Ross is very serious, and so T'Challa decided to take the CIA agent to Wakanda, so that he could be cured. In order not to leave him alone, Y/n went with them. Shearing Ross into Wakanda's medical room, she meets Shuri, sister of T'Challa.

The last time Y/n had been in the kingdom, she had made friends with Shuri, finding out she's a fantastic girl, and very smart to be so young.

"Oh yay! Another white boy for me to fix!"

Y/n looks up at Shuri, and then she looks at T'Challa confusedly.

"Wait, it means that he..."

"Who, your friend? It was a joke to treat him." says Shuri, beginning to analyze Ross and the severity of his injury.

Y/n and T'Challa move away from the medical room, leaving the space to work for Shuri. She turns around to look at her friend, crossing her arms to the chest. 

"Why didn't you tell me T'Challa?" 

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you more calmly, certainly not during a shootout."

Opening her mouth to say something, Y/n closes it thinking that T'Challa is right.

But now that he is awake, Y/n does nothing but think of wanting to see him.

"Take me to him."

T'Challa sighs, thinking about what to say exactly; he didn't say about the awakening of Y/n's friend because he really didn't want to create false hopes.

Shuri's technology seems to have worked, and even though his sister is never wrong, T'Challa wants to make sure the boy is no longer a danger.

But now that Y/n knows of his awakening, T'Challa will not be able to stop her from wanting to meet him.

"Y/n, I'll take you to him, but you have to be patient. Very strange things are happening in Wakanda. And I need help; your help. When things have calmed down, you can meet him."

Y/n looks at T'Challa in the eye, and observes how Shuri is curing Ross; Klaue almost killed him, and now more than ever, he is a danger to both Wakanda and America.

They must stop him.

“I hate you.”

T'Challa smiles, and he’s so contagious as he does it, that even I can’t succumb to a giggle.

"Why? I'm lovely."

I sigh; it's obvious that I want to see Bucky. I miss him so much. But T'Challa is in trouble, and if I could wait all this time, a few more days will not make a difference.

"All right, I'll help you. Again."

The relationships between Bucky Barnes and Y/n have always been very complicated. They both know what they feel for each other, but Bucky has always decided to stay away, because of his... problem.

Losing control and killing people was not really his big dream. When, during the conflict between Steve and Tony, the Winter Soldier woke up, it was the last straw: after that moment, Bucky decided not to be found until he found a cure for his curse.

And that's why Y/n had decided to ask T'Challa for help; she knew about the advanced technologies Wakanda has, and probably they would find a way to heal Bucky.

Y/n never imagined that Shuri would heal the boy so quickly. After peace returned to Wakanda, T'Challa's sister brought Y/n with her to the place where Bucky is recovering.

From the tent positioned near the river, Bucky comes out in all his splendor; Y/n is hidden in the trees, Shuri asked her to wait, to 'check' Bucky.

"You look good, Sergeant Barnes."

"Call me Bucky. Yes, I feel better."

"Ehm, there's someone who wants to see you."

Shuri takes a step back; it's the signal that Y/n can finally come out of her hiding place. She takes a few steps towards the two guys, and when Bucky turns, they both remain breathless.

Bucky and Y/n hadn't seen each other since the boy had hibernated; seeing her there, so close to him, Bucky almost dizzy. For so long he could not, he would not even touch the girl, frightened by what he could do.

To her.

"Hey, you."

"Hey, you."

Y/n approaches the boy, and squeezes his hand in her; she can't understand how good she feels when Bucky's skin touches her.

"Are you okay?"

"I feel... so much better. Even if it's weird not having my metal arm anymore."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm working on a whole new one. It will be great."

Both turn to look at Shuri; it would be rude to tell her that, but right now Bucky and Y/n would like to be alone, and watch each other until fainting.

"I have no doubt you will do a great job at Shuri. And thank you, for saving him."

She smiles, and looking into Y/n's eyes, she understands my message; Shuri greets them both and goes away, leaving the two lovers finally alone.

"How are you..?" Y/n doesn't have the time to ask Bucky how he really is, that he shows it to her.

Approaching her, the boy hugs her as much as he can, and lays his lips on hers; it's at this moment that Bucky finally feels free from his curse.

Now, Y/n and Bucky can be together as long as they want, and nothing will divide them, never again.

Forever Tag: @hotwinchester @doro7winchester @iamthenewthor @cirunia @frickin-bats @giftofdreams @ria132love @flirtswithdanger @littlenerdgirl16 @nanie5 @crownedloki @im-a-fandom-slut @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @superhero-lover101 @disneymarina @ironmanlover24

Revival Tag: @wdwisbae @markusstraya @the-panda-jung @drawtofeel

(If you want to be tagged in my stories, just ask me!)

#sanasfluffinesschallenge #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #imagine bucky barnes #challenge #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier imagine #imagine the winter soldier #black panther #black panther spoilers #gif #the avengers #tumblr

[ughthatimagineblog]

not your baby (part two)

steve harrington x reader | part one

requested:  Okay first off, “I’m Their Healer” is AMAZING and i loved the plot twist at the end!! You are extremely talented! Could you maybe do a Steve Harrington x Reader that involves the reader being a shy, but really sweet and caring new girl that accidently pisses off Billy somehow and Steve comes to the rescue? Id love for him to get revenge and kick his ass. Then the girl meets the Party (and loves Max cause they both have red hair?) WOW thats specific sorry so dont do it unless you want to!

warnings: cursing (a lot), fighting, billy being a major butt, kind of sexual assault? kinda. kinda.

word count: 2017 (lol)

a/n: so i changed it to where the demodog doesnt come crashing through the window and Elle just kills them all. some other small details are changed im sure but other than that I stuck to it. hope yall enjoy! :)

 Your personal dramas were all cut short when the reality of the Upside Down really set in. You were on your way to Nancy’s, only to find she wasn’t home. Then, you were picked up by some kid named Dustin and Steve to help catch what he called a demodog. Cut to you, now scared and skeptical, in the backseat of a bus in the old Hawkins junkyard with three of Mike Wheeler’s friends.  “Guys, I’m not even sure if I want to be here, can’t I just go home and you can play your game without me?” You complained and Dustin glared at you. “It’s not a game.”  You looked at Steve, for the first time all night actually, and he nodded. “It’s not.” He confirmed. “You’re in on this too?” You asked. “Unbelievable. A bus filled with two redheads, which Max, I’m a fan of the hair believe me,” You smiled despite going literally insane about the events happening before you. “Two eighth graders and a senior who are all psy-” You couldn’t finish your sentence when a loud growl was heard outside. 

 “What was that?” You were quick to ask. Steve immediately stood up. “They’re here.” He stated, grabbing his bat and moving to the front of the group. Lucas, who was also Mike’s friend, came crawling down the ladder. “Shit, shit, shit.” He muttered on his way down.  “Is he out there?” Steve asked. “Yeah but he isn’t going for the bait.” Lucas reported. Your eyes were darting between the two, starting to get scared that they were serious and a monster that ate Dustin’s cat was truly out there.

 Steve’s eyes darted to you and you saw something in them. Something you saw that day Billy showed up. When you exchanged glances and he switched seats almost to. . . protect you.  Something was felt in your heart that you couldn’t explain, but you couldn’t voice it before Steve was handing Dustin the lighter and walking out the door. You moved up the ladder with Lucas to watch what was going on in the yard. You could see a creature on four legs in the distance. You were about to make the excuse it was a dog, when it’s face opened up and released a blood curdling growl.  You clasped a hand over your mouth and Lucas leaned over to whisper. “Now you believe us?” You nodded. “Steve is going to fight that? Alone?” Lucas nodded. You looked to your right and your stomach dropped. “But what about those.” You pointed to the other creatures that entered the junkyard. Soon there were about five or six and Steve was well outnumbered.  You and Lucas rushed down the ladder and slammed open the bus door. “Abort! Abort! Steve!” You called after him and it was almost too late when he noticed he was outnumbered. You held the door open and he rushed in, making his escape. You shut the door and were about to go back up the ladder to scout the area when thuds were heard on the roof and a terrifying face popped through the fire escape hatch.  You screamed and Steve nearly knocked you over, pushing himself in front of you. “Out of the way!” He shouted, waving his bat at the ‘demodog’. His face opened up but before it could bite, a distant screech was heard and its head popped up. Deciding you all weren’t interesting enough, it changed its mind, and retreated. Leaving most of you dumbfounded.  “It left.” Lucas said, breathing heavily. “No, no, they didn’t leave,” Steve said, opening the door and looking to the distance.  “They are going somewhere.”

By the time you reached Hawkins lab and piled everyone into cars, your feet hurt and you were crying. Sobbing even. Never in a thousand worlds or lifetimes would you expect all this to be real. And to hear someone died made it even more surreal.  You were in the back of Hoppers cop car with Steve and the ‘Party’ when you felt a hand on your knee. It was Steve’s. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. I know this is all overwhelming but it’s going to be okay. Come here.” He offered his arms out to you and you sniffed, wiping your nose on your jacket.  “Like you said, Steve, I’m not your girlfriends best friend so you don’t have to be nice to me.” You said back, bitterly. “I know.” He said. You looked to his face. There was no sign of sarcasm. No smirk. Just a pure gesture.  Reluctantly, you scooted to the other side of the back of the van and sat next to Steve, who wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to lay your head on his shoulder where you fell asleep. For the time being.

 When you woke up, you woke up on Joyce Byers couch. There were no adults to be seen and only Lucas and Max were sitting in a chair across the room. It was unfamiliar. You didn’t know where Hopper was or even Steve. Steve. Where was he?  You sat up quickly, catching the attention of Lucas and Max. Seeing you in your panicked state, they rushed to your side. “It’s okay. Hey, Steve’s in the kitchen talking with Mike and Dustin.” Max explained while Lucas called Steve’s name.  He came in and explained everything. Where Joyce and Hopper were, where the rest of the team were, what had happened and how they kept you safe.  “So this girl, Eleven, she took the dogs down?” You asked to clarify, sitting at the table with a glass of water. “Yes.” Steve confirmed and you nodded slowly. “Okay.” You said calmly. “Are you good now?” He asked. You nodded. “I have to be. It’s my reality. Besides, if any of the dogs come back, i’ll kick their asses.” You said confidently, finding the best way to cope with your fear was to fight it.  “Alright.” Steve nodded but was cut off by Max and Lucas arguing in the living room. You both got up to see what the commotion was all about.  

 “What’s going on?” Steve asked and you stood beside him. “Billy’s here. He’s looking for me. If he finds me I’ll get killed, or worse, we will.” She gestured to both her and Lucas. You and Steve looked to each other.  “I’ll handle him.” You stepped forward. “What? Y/N, no!” Steve protested but you held a hand up to his chest. “Listen, hot stuff, you’ve protected me from this asshole enough. Let me handle this, okay?” You said, and he shrugged, backing off. “Good to know the old you is back.” He made the snide remark before watching you go. From the inside, he surveyed the situation from the side of the window.

 Outside, Billy was just turning off his car when you stepped out the front door. “What are you doing here, Billy?” You asked, arms crossed.  “Ooh, Y/N. Funny meeting you here.” He smiled a sly smile and you felt bile rise in your throat. You wanted to spit. “Not that funny. You aren’t laughing.” You replied, not letting emotion cake your features.  Billy approached you slowly, his cigarette hanging between his lips. “Feisty. Nice.” He commented and lifted his hand to brush one of your hairs away but you pushed his hand away.  Inside, the gesture made Steve flinch. He wanted to walk outside and deck that guy. But Dustin held him back. They both knew you could hold your own. For now.  “Too bad I’m not here for you.” He stated, crossing his arms and taking another drag. “Yeah, then what are you here for?” You replied. “My little sister.” He turned from looking behind you and looked straight at you. “Who?”  “Shot, redhead, bit of a bitch?” Billy asked, flicking his cigarette into the ground. You nearly rolled your eyes. “Never seen her.” You shrugged. “Oh yeah?” Billy commented. “Then who’s that?” He pointed behind you and in the window you saw four heads duck down.  “Shit.” You muttered to yourself before you felt two arms wrap around you, spin you around and back you into the door of his car. Billy pressed his body against you and you leaned away best you could, trying to escape the stench of cigs and cheap cologne.  “Now, I could let this go, if I get one night with you. . . What do you say, baby?” He whispered grossly into your ear, ghosting his lips over your neck. If this was anyone else, if this was Steve you’d be turned on. But it wasn’t. So you were disgusted.  “She isn’t your baby.” You heard Steve say and a door slamming open. He was quickly making his way across the front yard and Billy was just pulling away from you when you saw Steve’s fist collide with Billy’s face. You were so surprised it took you a moment to recuperate.  “Now this is the King I’ve been hearing so much about. And last I heard, she was single. So who’s baby is she?” Billy shouted, gathering himself from the pavement, a smirk plastered on his lips once again.

 Steve’s face had a look you had never seen before. It made you scared. He was angry. More than angry, he was seething. “Don’t you fuckin’ touch her Billy or I swear to God I’ll rip your fuckin’ face off, you hear me?” Steve shouted and ran at Billy again, tackling him to the ground. From there, Steve took a few blows. Two to the side of his ribs and one to the face but all of them he was quick to recover from.  You decided to run inside and take action. You grabbed a needle and filled it with the sedative you assumed was used earlier to sedate Will.

 You were pushing through the kids at the doorway when you saw Steve repeatedly punching Billy, who was smiling the whole time. “She’s fuckin’ mine, that’s who.” Steve grunted and your heart leapt, stunning you in your place for only a moment.  She’s fuckin’ mine.

It was Max who broke your daze and stripped those words from echoing in your mind. “Y/N!” She shouted and you jumped, finally snapping out of your trance and rushing up to the scene. You plunged the needle into Billy’s neck which made the struggling boy go limp. You pulled Steve off of him, repeatedly saying it was over and he won.  He stopped resisting when he looked at you, realizing why he got so angry.

Inside, Billy’s passed out body was laying on the couch while the kids left you alone with Steve in the kitchen. You were cleaning up his wounds when you decided to comment on what he had said.

 “Steve-” You began but he cut you off by putting his hand on the one that was dabbing the wound on his lip. “I know what I said. And I’m sorry.” He looked at you. “Why?” You asked, breathless and heart speeding at a million miles an hour. “I don’t know. I just. . . When I saw you and Billy out there and he had his hands on you, and his body on yours. . . It just made me so angry. And I realized that maybe I like you more than just a friend.” Steve explained. “I know it wasn’t right of me to call you mine. You’re not and I-” You held up a hand to stop him in his tracks. “I will gladly be yours. All you had to do was ask. Truth be told, Harrington, I’ve always liked you. I just didn’t know I did until the night of the party. So, no need to apologize.” You gave him a quick kiss on his cheek.  “What about Nancy?” He asked, lacing his fingers through your free hand. You thought long and hard about that for a moment. “She has Jonathan now.” You shrugged and smiled, leaning in for a kiss, one Steve gladly returned.

You broke away by the sound of Dustin’s voice. “So are you our mom now?”

@izzy-zzz I hope you enjoyed!

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagines #imagines #x reader #fic #stranger things fic #fanfic #fanfiction

[thaisibir]

Be Kind To Yourself (2) - Wanda-centric Infinity War alt ending

Chapter 2/6: Numb Fandom: Avengers Characters: mainly [Wanda, Vision], T’Challa, Shuri, IW cast Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Wanda’s remarkable feat against Thanos leaves her with crushed arms and stroke-like symptoms. She feels unworthy of the gratitude and medical care from Wakanda, because what hurts her the most, still, was guilt. Always the guilt.

You can also find & read it here.

Ch. 2 below, Ch. 1, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5

Be Kind To Yourself (2) Numb

Something pressed against Wanda's back, arms and legs. It pricked at the back of her scalp. It stabbed through her hands as she pushed herself up with a groan. She looked down. Savannah grass. She looked up. Shades of blue, purple, and pink slowly bobbed and glowed in the night sky above. Where was she? Still in Wakanda? Or dead? It was quiet...too quiet. Her breaths, the only sounds she heard, were uncomfortably loud. Wanda looked around, but besides the thin acacia trees, she saw no one else, nothing else. Not even signs of the great battle she swore she thought had raged here.

Something rustled in the treetops, and her blood ran cold. Odd shapes huddled and perched on the branches. Even as they were shrouded in shadow, the stench of their scorched flesh made her shudder. Their eyes, white, wide, and unblinking, fixed on her like spotlights. Eleven people. Eleven Wakandans. A man pointed a skeletal finger at her.

"You," he groaned. "You murderer."

Wanda took several steps back. "No, I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry. I-"

"You will burn," a woman hissed. "Like the rest of us."

Wanda turned tail and bolted, but the dead were somehow faster, turning into panthers as they pounced on her. She fell hard onto the ground. Claws dug into her back. Savannah grass shot up like pins into her nose and eyes, then her mouth as she screamed. Her pleas and apologies went unheard, as they had many times before. She tried to hold back the wrathful cats with her hands, but they were limp and useless. The dead Wakandans snarled, pulling back lips to bare fangs, and tore into her flesh. Their bites burned; soon her whole body was set on fire and agony.

"Vis," she cried out.

But he wouldn't hear her. He wouldn't come to her rescue. He was gone. She had killed him, just as she had killed these Wakandans tearing her apart. They ripped into her belly in a frenzy, their teeth and claws sending lances of pain deep into her. Despair washed over her fear, and Wanda stopped struggling. Maybe that was the right thing to do. She deserved to be punished for her crime. The grass and trees were ablaze now. The fire climbed and roared so high that she no longer saw the sky. She must be dead after all, where the eleven Wakandans could finally exact their revenge. Where her mother, father, Pietro, and Vision were nowhere to be found. They were in a better place. She was in hell.

Her shredded stomach hurt the most. Wanda shut her eyes so tightly that she saw white stars, but the pain became too much and her eyes flew open. The inferno was gone. Instead she saw overhead lights and flickering holograms. To her right, Shuri stiffened in shock. Wanda's head throbbed, and most of all her stomach felt horrible. It twisted and lurched, made her jerk her head to one side and vomit.

Shuri acted quickly, recovering from her surprise and grabbed a basin to catch most of the mess. She leaned in close to tell Wanda something. The princess had to be speaking Wakandan. Wanda couldn't understand a word out of her mouth. Steve ran over to Shuri's side and he was next to talk, but all Wanda could understand was the concern on his face. His lips moved, but she couldn't understand him, either.

More people quickly crowded into her vision. Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Sam...Everyone spoke the same gibberish.

Panic made her heart race. She wanted to move. Why couldn't she? Some kind of stretched weight restrained her to the bed. She couldn't even feel or flex her fingers. What was going on?

Shuri gestured to a nurse, who injected something into Wanda's neck. It stung, and soon her world faded to black once more.

Wanda heard her name. Again, and again. Her eyes fluttered open. The faces of her friends and comrades hovered over her, sharpening the more she blinked. This time she heard them properly. Things made more sense now. She didn't know what to say in return.

"Miss Maximoff?" Shuri called.

"You Highness?" she rasped.

The princess blew a sigh of relief. "Thanks be to Bast, she understands."

"What happened?" Wanda mumbled.

Uncomfortable glances were passed around, and all were ultimately aimed at Shuri. She drew in a deep breath then explained, slowly and gently: "Thanos is defeated. What you did to make that possible was astounding. But your wounds...the wounds you've sustained are very serious. Both of your arms are broken with open fractures throughout. You also had a hemorrhagic stroke."

That left Wanda dumbfounded. "I...what?"

"The first time you woke up, I believe you had a period of aphasia. You could not understand what any of us were saying. You also vomited blood, if you remember. Well, vomit streaked with blood, to be exact. Not good, of course, but better than worse. It's likely from the nosebleed that collected in the back of your throat. If you were really vomiting blood, then we'd worry about a hole in your stomach, or something like that. We put you to sleep again so we could do more extensive operations on your arms and administer more clot busters to repair the damage to your brain." Shuri quickly scanned the floating chart of vitals and gave Wanda a smile. "The first round of medicine was successful, I think. Now that you're awake and you can hear me, I'd like to do an NIH scale."

"A what?"

"To check for neurological deficits. Relax, you don't have to do a thing." Shuri turned the bed into a recliner with a keystroke. Wanda had no choice but to lie still, since she was still restrained. "I apologize for binding your arms," the princess went on. "but it's for your own safety. They must stay still so the fractures can heal." She stepped away from the bedside to stand directly across from Wanda. "The questions I'll ask will seem strange, but just follow along, all right?"

"Okay." Wanda suddenly felt self-conscious, with so many people studying her intensely.

Shuri ordered the young Avenger to stick out her tongue, wiggle it side to side, raise her eyebrows as if she was surprised, scrunch them as if she was mad.

Shuri then stroked Wanda's face from temple to chin. "Can you feel me touching both sides?"

"My left…I can't feel my left cheek."

Worry crossed Shuri's face. "Smile as wide as you can."

Wanda tried to comply, but her smile came out crooked, the right corner of her lips pushing up her cheekbones while the other corner did not even twitch. Her heart raced as she started to panic again. "Your highness, what's wrong with me?"

"The scale results could be worse, but they're still somewhat high. You have left-sided deficit. That facial droop's the most telling sign."

"Is the damage permanent?" T'Challa asked his sister. "Is there anything we can do?"

"We'll give her more blood-thinners. Fortunately her aphasia went away, so there's hope that we can fix this, too." Wanda saw Shuri reach out to put a hand on her shoulder, but couldn't feel it. "We pumped in a lot of sedatives and painkillers. You must feel sick. Would you like something for nausea?"

Wanda remembered how badly her stomach had churned. "Yes, please."

Wakandan technology made it possible to have access to anything in short order, including some things as simple as pills and a cup of water. Shuri helped Wanda take the pills by mouth.

"Let them dissolve under your tongue. You'll feel better soon." Shuri stepped away from the bed. "Excuse me, there are other pressing matters I must see to."

"Vision," Wanda blurted out, but only to stop Shuri in her tracks and make her stay around for a bit longer. "I'm sorry...Vision...is he...? Did you...?" Her heart sank as Shuri bit on her bottom lip and couldn't meet her eyes.

"I was unable to complete the process," the princess replied. "I will work with what I have saved. But, Miss Maximoff...I can't guarantee..."

A lump grew in Wanda's throat and she fought to swallow it down. She felt foolish for clinging on to a shred of hope. All she could say was, "Thank you for trying."

Shuri left the room on that regretful note and the Avengers remained, but suddenly Wanda didn't want them around any more.

"I'd like to be alone," she whispered. "Please."

Steve opened his mouth to say something, and stepped forward as if to try comforting her, but met her wet eyes, thought twice and gently ushered the others out. T'Challa made the same gestures to his subjects. Once in complete solitude, Wanda let the tears fall. Grief and shame welled in her like a sickening wave, despite the pills she just took. She didn't want her friends to see how pathetic she looked when she couldn't even lift her hands to hide her tears or wipe them away.

Wanda watched from the window to her right how the sun set in Wakanda, how its warm light bathed the plains and made patterns dance on the glass, but its famous beauty was lost on her. Night would come soon and she felt sick and exhausted, but she feared going back to sleep again. The dead would come back to haunt her. She had been prickling with discomfort ever since she set foot in Wakanda, and Vision knew the reason better than anyone else. She couldn't shake off the guilt. What right did she have to be here, when the eleven Wakandans who died in Nigeria never made it home alive?

The dead frequented her dreams, twisted them into nightmares, made her wake up screaming. Vision always used to stay by her side, lying in bed with her though he didn't need the sleep. He would kiss at her tears and whisper comforting words into her ear. He couldn't chase away the nightmares, but at least he would be with her to fight them. Now she was left alone, half of her body numb and broken. She would gladly break her arms again if it meant getting Vision back. She hated Thanos, but what good did it do now to hate the dead?

Most of all, she hated herself.

#wanda maximoff #vision #scarlet witch #infinity war fanfic #mcu fanfiction #be kind to yourself

[mattymattymerduck]

Polaroid Hearts (Pt. 4)

Summary: Ever hear of a love pyramid? It’s when the history major, a fine arts undergrad, and a culinary student all have a crush on you. So in your second year of university, who’s gonna steal your heart first? (A Bucky x Steve x Pietro x Reader story)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]  [Part 5]

Warnings: A couple small swears, some depreciation 

Word count: 3600 (oops)

A/N: Wow okay I had every intention to have a plethora of Steve moments in this and it just… Didn’t happen. So NEXT TIME, I promise, Stevie action all over the place. Hope you guys like this one!

Bucky had a plan. He had stayed up for the better half of the night trying to think of the perfect way to get close to you. In the end, he was between bribing Natasha into casually letting him into her dorm room and hanging around until you came in and let him sweep you off your feet with something witty and clever and ultimately flirty, or he could get a job at that gelato place you liked so much.

Bucky was no stranger to how Natasha felt about him, so the former was looking pretty unlikely. Part-time job it was, then.

Meanwhile, Steve had to get in the races. If he kept at this pace he’d lose you to Bucky for sure, or more likely someone else before Bucky could learn how to deal with his disobedient tongue. He spent about half an hour trying to word his text to you perfectly, he might as well have been writing an essay back in high school with all the effort he put into it.

He settled for ‘Have any plans today?’  and jumped when you texted back almost immediately with ‘Just class, I end at 11. You?’.

He thought it was a little silly that his heart was already hammering and he only had to read your name in his notifications. Steve was under no illusions that love was ridiculous, much like his best friend had been, so he wasn’t exactly ashamed to admit he was seriously crushing on you. It was more reasonable than Bucky’s approach, who had met you for three minutes before using a word like love.

Bucky always could be described as an all-or-nothing kind of guy, Steve just assumed his admonishment towards any and all gooey chick-flick emotional stuff would preserve him from something like this. Apparently, this was one disaster he couldn’t have predicted.  

‘Same, I start at 5 though :)’ He wasn’t sure if he should cringe at sending you a smiley face or not, it half made him feel childish and half made him feel like it would impress you with it’s friendly air.

Whatever he meant by that.

He gave his heart a momentary respite while taking a breath and running a hand through his hair, and then went back to his phone to ask if you wanted to hang out between the two classes.

'Ooo are you recruiting me for an adventure? Where would you like to go?’ Steve could have hated you for replying so breezily, if it wasn’t one of the reasons he liked you so much.

'No clue, but I can meet you outside your class and decide then? Which building are you in today?’ The photography majors were almost a myth on campus, no one really knew where they worked or what they did in class except for the students themselves. Though, Steve supposed, that could be said for most fine arts majors. They liked to stick to what they knew, so intercurricular mingling only happened by random happenstance at this school. It was a wonder how anyone made friends outside of their main classes, really.

Regardless, you pawned off the location of Mr. Stark’s Super Secret Photography Class and Steve felt like he might have caught the Loch Ness monster for all it was worth. He promised to provide food (like any gentleman looking to impress you should) and you promised to repay him in smiles and, if he was lucky, a couple really terrible jokes.

Steve really hoped he would qualify.

-

For all intensive purposes, your day started out great. You woke up to Steve’s texts, and then to Pietro back in your kitchen, this time with minimal smoke and food to share with everyone. You gratefully accepted your plate and the wide smile Pietro entrusted you with before going to sit across from Wanda, who was giving you a very serious once-over when you picked up your fork.

“Can I help you?” You asked jokingly, holding a square of waffle in front of your mouth like she was about to give you permission to eat it. Pietro looked over his shoulder to see what his sister was doing to elicit your first words of the morning.

“Nope. I was just thinking Pietro doesn’t really know his way around campus, and you only have one class today.” You frowned and put your uneaten waffle back on the plate. You felt like you were about to tell them someone in the family had died - which was definitely an exaggeration, but you never really liked to say no to people. Especially not when you’d have loved to show Pietro around in the first place.

“Oh. Sorry you guys, I actually already have plans after class. Maybe we can go tomorrow? Or Nat can take you?” Pietro was leaning on the counter when you looked over at him, arms crossed and a forgiving smile on his lips. His cheeks were on fire - or at least they felt like they were - but you didn’t notice, and Wanda didn’t point it out.

At the same time Pietro began to say “Ah, oh well. Better luck next time.” with a friendly smile, his sister was leaning forward intimidatingly on the table and asking “You can’t just reschedule?”

As an aspiring teacher, Wanda had a very authoritative persona. She was friendly, of course, but when she wanted something done it got done, because she could easily be mistaken for an army general when her mind was set.

“Well, I guess I could ask Steve…” You replied, conflicted. It was confusing going from Wanda’s determined and unforgiving eyes to Pietro’s semi hopeful, semi worried ones. Clearly he didn’t mean to impede on your day, no matter how badly he wanted to know you better.

Though he also lowkey wanted to know how Wanda knew he liked you so fast. She always went over the moon to try and set him up with people he liked. Needless to say it very rarely worked out, and he had learned it was never a good idea to let her overpower girls into seeing him more often.

“Really, it’s okay. I think Sam wanted to take me anyway.” Pietro diffused and you smiled appreciatively at how Wanda backed into her chair a little more with his voice.

“If you’re still out by 5 I can meet up with you guys!” You add, hoping to appease the borderline disapproving side eye you were getting from Wanda. You were vaguely concerned about her behaviour, usually she was much more easy going and soft willed than this. Maybe Pietro, for whatever reason, brought out the aggression in her. That, or she was just having a rotten day - in which case you made a mental note to bring her back something tasty and chocolatey from your adventure. With any luck, that might help her recover from being a grump for 24 continuous hours.

“You should exchange numbers so you can find each other.” She muttered, grabbing your phone off the table and plugging in her brother’s number before using it to shoot Pietro a text. She placed it back in front of you just as you finished off your breakfast, sliding out of your chair and smiling at both of them as you shrugged your camera bag onto your shoulder.

“Thanks for breakfast Pietro, it tasted great! I’ll text you later to see where you guys are.” You waved farewell and left for your only class of the day, leaving Pietro against the counter feeling better than ever and Wanda in her chair, looking expectantly at her brother.

“Well? No thanks to your sister for getting you her number?” She fell back into her chair and raised an eyebrow, waiting to hear her brother’s applause or get a pat on the back or something.

“You don’t need to meddle for me.” He finally voiced, looking a little stricken when his blue gaze finally left the closed door you had just vacated.

“Meddle? I thought I was doing you a favour.” Wanda frowned, now crossing her arms and practically begging him to challenge her. She always did this with him, and it wasn’t the first time he wished she would just let his business be his own.

“I appreciate it, Wanda, I do. But if she likes me I want her to like me because I made her do it, not because you glared at her until she said she’d go on a date with me.”

“I wasn’t glaring!”

“Yes you were!”

“Even if I was,” She started, glaring up at him in case he pointed out her half-assed acceptance. “you’re too complacent! You’d never have asked for her number on your own, and you’d have spent all day wishing you had asked her to take you around campus. I was just speeding up the process.”

“I know, but you don’t need to. I can do this on my own. Plus, I’m older! I should be finding you girlfriends!”

“We both know I don’t need help finding a girlfriend.” Wanda laughed a little and Pietro smiled back, glad to have spoken his mind and diffused the tension that had started building all at the same time.

“No, I guess not, but that doesn’t mean I won’t do it.” He warned lightly, turning back around and piling dirty dishes into the sink with a grin.

“Whatever, old man. You stay out of my love life and I’ll keep away from yours.”

“Promise?” He turned again to make sure she was being sincere. Wanda stood up and held out her pinky finger like they used to do when they were kids.

“Cross my heart.” She sighed, linking their fingers together with finality. “Unless you really need the help.”

—

“Everyone has their own style, whether it’s shown in a painting, an essay, or a photograph. I don’t mean to psychoanalyze any of you, but a key part of interpreting and appreciating a photo is to get to know the artist behind it. So, that’s what we’re doing today. Everyone give me your cameras.” Mr. Stark’s photography class was exceedingly small, which is why he had time to showcase everyone’s photos rather than just one or two people.

It felt strange without your camera, because you typically went everywhere with it. From the seat beside you, you gathered that Peter felt the same.

“Feels like I’m gonna float away without the extra 12 pounds weighing me down.” He remarked, leaning back into his chair lazily.

“You could always ask Kamala to hold you down, I don’t think she’d mind much.” You teased, knowing full well of the crush Peter had for the girl a couple rows ahead of you. Peter looked scandalized, turning his attention to the back of her head as she laughed with one of her friends.

“I thought we made a pact! We shook hands and everything!” He whispered loudly, clearly willing away the blush that was covering his cheeks.

“Oh Petey, insinuating a relationship isn’t the same as setting you two up. I stand by my last point though, she’s totally into you too. See, she just turned around and smiled at you!” You nudged him with your elbow in time for him to look panic-stricken and catch Kamala’s hair whoosh over her shoulders. Just missing the adoring grin on her lips.

“I think you’re delusional.” He muttered, trying to focus all of his attention on Mr. Stark - who was almost done setting up the first camera on the projector.

“Well I think I’m pretty charming,” You grinned proudly, “but if you say so!”

The first array of pictures were soft. They were mostly sepia tone or monochromatic with whites and browns. You already knew this was Peter, because you two helped each other edit and organize and plan different sets, but it was nice watching a slideshow of them and seeing the other people in your class reflecting on them. Peter was all about the homey aesthetic, this included angled closeups of newspapers overlooking sunny days through a window, steaming coffee mugs on wooden tables, messy beds absorbing filtered sunlight, that kind of thing.

Peter had two portraits in his entire camera roll, one posed of you scrambling up a tree and laughing (a personal favourite of yours, Peter had it printed and framed for your birthday with the sweetest note written on the back.), and another of Kamala, who clearly had no idea he had snapped it. She was in the middle of taking her own photo, so Peter landed a perfect side-profile of her holding up her camera, tongue sticking out in concentration, and the flash of her camera just starting to blind her subject.

The next slideshow was much darker; all black and white, graphic, and depressing. Loki’s camera, as his cocky grin indicated.

“What can we tell from this one?” Mr. Stark asked the class, moving on from the pleasant atmosphere Peter’s pictures had aggregated. A couple students put their hands up and waited anxiously for the teachers’ eyes to fall on them.

“They don’t have a very strong moral code.” Remy voiced from the front row, not even putting his hand up.

“What makes you say that, Mr. LeBeau?”

“They use a greyscale. If they thought in black and white, their pictures would have more contrast, more disparity between the shades. But they don’t have that, so everything’s a middleground to them.” He said boredly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Mr. Stark nodded thoughtfully.

“Or they just really don’t like colour. Maybe they’re trying to accentuate the blandness of life? They find it boring, so they use boring tones to give off the same feeling? What do you think, Ms. Jones?”

“I think he’s a pessimist. Everything he captures is depressing, like he’s trying to point out the flaws of humanity, tragedy and pain and whatever.” Jessica glared across her desk to Loki, who simply smirked with more fervor.

“Fair enough, on to the next camera then!” Mr. Stark made a grand gesture off to Scott, the TA, who swapped memory cards and started displaying a set of very different photos.

You had forgotten you ever took some of the pictures they skimmed through, though they were obviously yours. There was a lot of purposeful sunspots, bright colours, excited faces. Most of the faces were Steve’s, incidentally, who looked adorable 99.9% of the time. The other 0.01 he looked charming and valiant, even, with the new angle and shot you had attempted at one point.

Loki didn’t even wait for the professor to introduce the discussion before he expressed his opinion.

“She’s incredibly naive. She’s either too dumb to realize her subjects have no impact or meaning, or she’s trying to blind herself into thinking taking pictures of the sun is innovative. Though I’m glad she does, because the empty space negates same of the awful artistry I might’ve seen otherwise.”

Honestly, you were too shocked to have any meaningful reaction to his words. After a second or two of silence where you deliberated his point and criticised the photo on the screen in front of everyone, and Peter grinded his teeth together thinking about how he could defend you, Loki’s sly grin returned.

“What’s your problem, man? Just because she doesn’t find everything sad like you, she’s an idiot? One of her photos is worth a hundred of yours, you know why? Because it’s easy to see everything in grey, find the bad in people, but Y/N takes one look at something and sees the good in it! And then she takes a photo like this one,” He points angrily at the projected picture at the front of the room. “and makes everyone see it that way.”

Loki and Peter stood up at the same time, chairs squealing in protest at the intimidating glaring contest they had started, waiting for the other to flinch before they could vault over tables and tackle them.

“Alright alright, settle down kiddies.” Stark wandered over to Loki and pat his shoulder, though with enough force to push him back into his seat. Peter took a long breath before settling back in his chair as well. “We’re in university here, there’s no reason why we can’t have a civilized discussion. That being said, I don’t take kindly to any of my students being called an idiot, Mr. Laufeyson. Especially not one as inspiring and talented as Y/N. So if that’s your opinion, I ask you to keep it to yourself next time.

“I think that’s enough for today, next time let’s try to keep our criticism constructive, okay? And don’t forget your daily pictures! Today’s word is 'affection’.” He showed after the retreating students, few of which actually listening to him as they snatched up their cameras and flooded out the door.

“C'mon, the sooner I get distance between that monochromatic asshole, the better.” Peter says, tugging your arm and rushing to leave Loki’s knife-like grin behind the two of you. You followed numbly, still dazed at the prospect of your hard work being naive and non-impactful.

“You know he just says things to get under your skin, your work is amazing! Even Mr. Stark said so!” He nudged you playfully, trying to cheer you up.

“Yeah. Yeah no, I know.” You nodded, trying to convince yourself and Peter that it didn’t matter, and his words were meaningless. Just because you had opposite styles didn’t mean you were incompetent, right? So what if you saw things with more colour; you weren’t actively avoiding heavier subjects, blinding yourself to darker pieces of the world just because they were dark - right?

“Y/N!” Steve waved with a dopey smile, walking up to where you and Peter had stopped to say goodbye. He came just in time to pause the oncoming cycle of doubt in your head, lucky you.

“Well, see ya! And if you do run into Loki, give him a good slap, okay? It’ll make you feel better.” Peter grinned and gave you a quick hug before running off to his next class.

Steve jogged up with just enough time to nod at him, turning to you with the same smile (that clearly said he was in love with you, but you couldn’t see that) rehearsing in his head all the possible things he could compliment you on. Or at least, what he would compliment you on if you were in a better mood than the one he found you in. His smile dropped to a look of concern, and without thinking his hand grabbed yours and ran his thumb over your knuckles.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You gnawed on your bottom lip, debating on what to say.

“Sorry, I’m just wondering if, maybe, I’m not that great at being a photographer.” Steve looked at you like you had just said the most horrendous thing he had ever heard, like you were plotting the murder of a puppy or Lin-Manuel Miranda or something.

“Why would you ever, ever, think that?” He asked incredulously, yet still kindly. You shrugged, feeling like his stare was heavier than the sun. “I don’t know a lot of photographers, but I am a fine arts major, so I like to think I know something about design and artistic ability. Your pictures are incredible, they’re fun and interesting and ridiculously pretty, and no matter what mood your in when you look at them, they make you smile. They’re basically you printed out on paper, and that’s something every artist dreams of being able to do.” You were more surprised than you really had a right to be, because Steve’s words were so sweet that they really caught you off guard. He knew exactly what you needed to hear to feel better, somehow, and that made you incredibly happy.

He had been too distracted to really notice he had been holding your hand the entire time, so once he was finished admitting how great (and pretty) you were, he slid his hand away before he got too nervous and started sweating. It only took him a second to get distracted again by the bright smile that broke out on your face, and the again when you practically tackled him in a hug.

“Woah, hey there.” He joked, wiggling a little in your tight grip but wrapping his arms around your waist all the same.

“That’s so nice of you Steve, thank you so much.” And he thought his heart might stop altogether when you buried your face in the junction between his neck and shoulder, violently fighting back the shivers it sent racing through his nerves.

“I hope you know that you deserve compliments like that at least twice a day.” He said quietly, making it seem a little like he was still joking, but wholeheartedly believing it nonetheless. The heart-swelling feeling he got from your laugh was doubled by your proximity, or maybe everything just felt more powerful with you this close.

“Then you deserve them twice an hour.” You retorted sincerely, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. “Also, sorry about that.” You alluded to the hug with a sheepish grin, though you weren’t really sorry at all. Neither was Steve.

“I have no qualms with aggressive hugs.” He laughed, debating on grabbing your hand again but under the pretense of leading you to your picnic spot. “Anyways, ready to go?”

“Yup! Where are we going?” You asked, back to your usual smiley self. He tilted his head in the direction you needed to go, prompting you to start walking.

“Oh, you’ll see.”  

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#super unedited so if you guys see any errors let me know!!! #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #pietro maximoff x reader #college au #polaroid hearts #avengers imagine #marvel imagine #reader insert