Wong: how much longer are we going to let them do that?
Stephen: *rubbing the bridge of his nose* just... just give him a minute
Y/N: *still pushing the doors of sanctum that are clearly labeled pull*
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scott lang is sitting in san francisco ranting and screaming about how john walker isn't his captain america. don't argue with me about this, i know this
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Stephen: *Kisses Y/N*
Y/N: *Blushing* I, uh…
Stephen: *Smiling* Well, I “uh” you too.
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Loki, snuggling under a blanket: a nap a day takes the pain away!
Stephen: what pain?
Loki: the pain of knowing the bane of existence is existing, the heavy weight of living from day to day in the precipice of an existential crisis, and the possibility that we're living through the end of the world as we know it
Stephen:
Stephen: please just lie and say you're sick next time
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Computer: choose your password
Stephen: Tony
Computer: password is too short
Stephen: I know
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Stephen, looking in the mirror before leaving the house: not everyone is going to think I’m pretty, and that’s ok
Stephen: they’ll be wrong, though
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Stephen: that’s too much coffee
Tony: coffee cures depression
Stephen: no, it doesn’t
Tony: more espresso less depresso
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Wong: Y/N, we're hungry!
Mordo: Y/N! What's for dinner?
Stephen: We're hungry, Y/N!
Y/N, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*
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Y/N: *running towards Stephen with open arms*
Stephen: *moves out of the way*
Y/N: Hey, why'd you move?!
Stephen: I thought you were going to attack me!
Y/N: I was going to hug you!
Stephen: Why would you hug me?
Y/N: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
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Tony: eat anything you want
Tony: and if people make fun of your weight, eat them too
Stephen: tony no-
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“If you’re late, puppies die.”
- Stephen, telling Peter & Harley & Tony to be on time
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Stephen: Well, I was planning on having a productive day today.
Stephen: But then Tony woke me up at 2 AM because he thought the house was burning down.
Stephen: Half awake, I safely evacuated everyone.
Stephen: Turns out Tony had actually been working on a ‘Fake Fire’ device the day before and forgot about it, then accidentally turned it on while working.
Stephen: So I got a total of 2 and a half hours of sleep, and will be napping the rest of the day.
Stephen: ‘Strange’ is one letter away from ‘strangle’, Tony.
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