#& i know it's ridiculous but i could feel my fight or flight kick in because she was in my personal space & not listening to me

[rosesradio]

day 2 of what i call the redneck convention aka a family function

#it just so happens there's two events that call for a cookout--we never hang out two days in a row--usually i get a break of a few months-- #so idk if i can handle it #not to mention my sister has work & my fave cousin brings her bf all the time & is busy talking with him #so it's just gonna be me & all these other family members i don't like :// #& okay let me say a thing #yesterday i was having a conversation with my sister--clearly a private conversation #& my weird aunt just literally barged in between us like 'what what are you guys up to huh what what' #& i just like nervously laughed & was like 'yeah we're just talking' #& then she just starts standing right next to me--like glued at the hip and literally says 'what if i just wanna stand right here-- #next to you and just follow you around?' #& i just kinda nervously laughed & tried to shuffle away but she literally started following me around like that #& i know it's ridiculous but i could feel my fight or flight kick in because she was in my personal space & not listening to me #but all i did was kinda laugh again & say 'no thanks i gotta go wash my hands so i can eat--the food's almost ready' #& i had to say that like twice & then she actually got pissed & huffed before storming off #& then later in front of everyone she told my mom something like 'you need to correct your daughter's behavior she's very rude' #as if my mom could do anything #(like don't get me wrong my mom could say 'behave a certain way or we'll kick you out because you're an adult' but she's not gonna do that) #& my mom & dad were both just like '???' when i explained it because i didn't do anything rude-- #like genuinely how The Fuck am i supposed to respond with some aunt getting into my space & refusing to leave even when i'm uncomfortable #my parents told me not to worry about it because she's just weird all the time (which i know) but because she's got nothing else going on-- #in her life she'll probably still try to make drama out of that little interaction today #idk i might just gaslight her by pretending i don't remember what happened. gatekeep girlboss etc #& don't get me wrong i have complete sympathy for people who aren't good with social cues--i'm one of the most awkward people at these-- #functions. but personal space is where i draw the line because you can't just get into someone's space & insist on being there even when-- #they're clearly uncomfortable #sigh anyways these tags are so long. wish me luck :// #rose.txt

[jerzwriter]

One Night in Cordonia Chapter 8: All's Well That Ends Well

Series: One Night in Cordonia, a @choicesprompts a Round Robin Event. Fandom: TRR, with some OH introduced here Pairings: You'll See lol Word count: 2.2k (I went over a little - sorry!) Rating: Mature Warnings: talks about sex, innuendos, language Prompt: Cocktails, Gala - @choicesjunechallenge A/N: Every now and then, it's fun to just take your characters and put them in different surroundings. This lil' crack fic allowed me to do just that. I was going to say it's not really "my" Ethan and Tobias here, but, to be honest, it could be them in my Ethan/Kaycee world. Thanks for putting this together and including me Angela!

Next author: ??? @angelasscribbles ???

Summary: It's Leo's social season. The day is Beaumont bash after the formal dinner is done and the royal couple has left. Anton sends his second in command, Claudius, to spread a fog, "Death Smash," that would leave the guests paralyzed and he would attack. But the gas delivered was Shagging smog 2.0 by mistake, leading to a sexual frenzy amongst guests. Anton himself goes to check and falls prey to the gas. The only unaffected members are Max (immune), Leo (because he was in the gardens), and Olivia (partially affected, trying to fight the effects).

The pretty brunette flight attendant was shaky on her feet, and for once, turbulence nor the ridiculously high heels Constantine insisted his flight attendants wear was the cause. No, this time, the mesmerizing aqua-blue eyes of her passenger were the culprit. She hadn’t dared to look at them directly for fear of what they could do to her, but she could feel them raking over as she attempted to pour his bourbon. She only hoped he didn’t notice how she trembled.  

“That’s good right there, darlin’,’ he droned, his husky voice rolling off his tongue like honey. “Any more than that, and I’ll have to wonder if you’re trying to take advantage of me.”

A blush settled on her cheeks as she attempted to come up with a reply. Luckily, the other, equally aesthetically pleasing passenger spared her when he sighed with disgust.

“For Christ’s sake, Tobias, could you maybe have just an ounce of decorum?”

“You know Ethan, decorum is overrated,” he winked. “I prefer fun. You may want to try it sometime.”

“I know how to have fun, and it’s not harassing our flight attendant.” 

Ethan looked over to the young woman, who could not look away before his sapphire orbs met hers. Fuck! She thought because those eyes would render her equally as helpless.

“I apologize for my colleague. Apparently, he was raised by wolves.”

“Hey!” Tobias jumped in. “My mom would kick your ass if she heard you say that!”

“Really? Well, I’m sure she’d love to hear how you are treating this young woman,” Ethan pulled out his phone. “Shall I dial her?”

Tobias threw both hands up in surrender. “Nope! Truce! Truce!”

A satisfied smirk crossed Ethan’s face. “I think you’ll be left in peace for the remainder of the flight,” he smiled. Completely oblivious to the look of disappointment on the woman’s face as she exited the cabin.

Tobias sipped the amber liquor and let out a slow moan. “Mmmm.  This is amazing,” he growled. “Have you tried yours yet? I know you’re a total snob, but I swear, this shit will make you weak in the knees.”

Ethan eyed his untouched beverage and shut his eyes.

“I’ll get to it,” he grumbled. “This whole thing, it’s just… it’s obscene!”

Tobias leaned over and took the papers his companion was reading out of his hands, shoving them into the attaché at his side.

“Hey, what are you….”

“Shut up,” Tobias spat. “Seriously, Ethan. The hospital insisted we go, so just sit back and enjoy the ride. We’re on one of the most luxurious private jets on the planet on someone else’s dime. Our every need is expected to be catered to, and if you hadn’t interrupted… that might have included the beautiful Ashley.”

“Ashley?” He asked.

“The flight attendant…”

“Her name is Amber, you idiot. And sexual harassment isn’t something I wish to add to our resume on this trip.”

“Ethan, relax. I was joking!”

“I’m sorry, I just hate this whole thing. The wealthiest people in the world summoning us across the damn Atlantic to take care of their potential PR disaster is not what I went into medicine for.”

“I don’t disagree,” Tobias shrugged. “But what they’re paying us for two days’ work will fund our department for the next year. So look at the bright side for a change Mr. Sour Pants.”

“You have a point,” Ethan grumbled. “Let’s just make this quick, get in and get out…”

“That was my plan with Am….”

“SHUT UP!” Ethan hollered as Tobias adjusted his sleep mask and drifted off, pleased he had accomplished his goal of getting under his boss’s skin.

~~~~

Upon landing, a heavily guarded motorcade awaited the two doctors and drove them to the Beaumont estate. 

“Is this still fun for you?” Ethan asked.

“Fuck yes! I’m living out some major James Bond fantasies right now.”

Ethan fought the genuine smile that attempted to spread on his lips; maybe there was something to Tobias’s constant glass-half-full approach, but he wasn’t about to admit it.

When they arrived at the scene, Constantine and a Lieutenant from the King’s Guard greeted them at once. The Lieutenant handed each man a gas mask.

“Gentlemen,” Constantine enthused. “We are so happy to have you here! It’s not our first incident with shag smog in Cordonia, but this one is not responding to the normal antidote. That’s why we called in the experts.”

Ethan quickly adjusted his mask, but Tobias made no effort to put his on, earning him a questioning glare.

“No need,” Tobias smiled. “I’ve been exposed in the past, so I’m immune.”

“Of course you have,” Ethan groused. “How bad is the situation?”

“Worse than you could imagine!” The Lieutenant began. “There are only a handful of people present who weren’t affected, reasons unclear at this time. Some may have had prior exposure, some, well… this could be their natural state of being; it’s hard to tell.”

“OK, so we have a handful of people who haven’t turned into sex-crazed lunatics,” Tobias assessed. “But how many have? Do you know how many were in attendance?”

“Several hundred,” a woman’s voice rang out from behind, and Tobias’s body went rigid. He’d know that voice anywhere. “Anyone who is anyone in Cordonian society is here, plus a few plebeians from other nations who are delusional enough to imagine they can fit in with us.”

Tobias turned slowly toward the red-haired beauty, salacious grin in place.

“You say plebeians with such disdain, Duchess. From what I recall, you haven’t always minded rolling around in the dirt with at least… some of us.”

Olivia’s eyes narrowed, her icy gaze meeting Tobias’s heated stare. “You!” she hissed.

Ethan clapped his friend on the back. “It’s so good to see you have fans everywhere. Please tell me you made her acquaintance at a Cordonian History seminar.”

“Yeah,” Tobias chuckled. “Something like that. It’s been a long time, Duchess.”

“I’d prefer it if you called me Olivia,” she seethed.

“Heh! That’s not what you wanted to be called last time we were together.”

Constantine turned to Ethan with a look of distress. “Are you sure the sex pollen isn’t impacting him?”

“No,” Ethan sighed wearily, “Sadly, that’s just him.”

“Tobias?” a naked Maxwell hollered as he approached the group. “Is that you?”

Ethan turned to Constantine, aghast. “I thought you said all the impacted were contained!”

“They are! But that’s Maxwell and… sadly, that’s just… him.”

“It’s me,” Tobias nodded, averting his eyes. He removed his lab coat and tossed it in Max’s direction. “Would you put this on, for Christ’s sake! No one needs to see that damn hippo tattoo.”

“Oh, yeah…” Ethan rolled his eyes. “That’s what we don’t need to see!”

“So, what do we do, gentlemen?” The Lieutenant asked. “Normally, pumping in the antidote smog does the trick.”

“Not with this new variant,” Tobias interrupted. “It’s essentially a concentrated form of GHB in vaporized form.”

“So, how do we reverse this?” Constantine asked.

“There’s been some success with the administration of diclofenac and NSAIDS,” Ethan advised. “But that would require injecting each of the infected individually. There is no way to ‘gas’ everyone back to normal.”

“Well, that could take hours! Days!” A voice called out.

“This is my son, Leo, the crown prince.” Constantine chimed in.  “And I agree with him. We need to get this display of debauchery under control before it’s a scandal!”

“Forgive me if I’m more concerned about the people who were poisoned, not your Palace’s reputation.”

“Dr. Ramsey, I believe I’m paying you quite handsomely to take care of both,” Constantine reminded.

“Going room to room won’t be the fastest way,” Tobias agreed. “But it is the best way. Not only can we ensure it’s administered properly, but you can send someone in with us to confiscate everyone’s mobile devices. That will give you time to destroy any embarrassing pictures you wouldn’t want out there.”

Olivia spat out a laugh behind him. “Yes, Dr. Carrick. Because you, of all people, know about embarrassing blackmail photos. Don’t you?”  

Tobias shot her a knowing look. “We’ll talk after… Duchess. Right now, I have work to do.”

~~~~~

Tobias and Ethan ran up the ornate marble staircase; the team Constantine assembled to assist them quick on their heels.

“So, dare I ask what the deal is with you and Olivia?” Ethan asked.

A blissful look came over Tobias’s face, and Ethan momentarily wondered if his friend was being impacted by the gas.

“You know I’ve always had a thing for redheads. Plus, have you ever had a woman pull a switchblade out of her stilettos and threaten you in the middle of some of the most mind-blowing sex you’ve ever had in your life?”  

Ethan looked at Tobias in horror. “No! I can’t say I have.”

Tobias reached over and tapped his friend’s shoulder. “Well, add it to your bucket list, buddy. I promise you, it’s a rush.”

“Gentleman,” Leo interrupted, “if you wouldn’t mind visiting this room first. My brother, Liam, is in here.”

When the men entered, Liam immediately rushed toward them.

“What the…”

“Thank God you’re here!” Liam squealed. “This is shag smog… isn’t it?”

“It is,” Leo frowned. “But… you’re coherent… weren’t you impacted? Do you want to screw any of us right now?”

Liam calmly looked over the three men and shrugged. “I mean, you’re all cute… but not my type… and you’re my brother!”

“But if you weren’t impacted, why are you locked in here?” Leo asked.

“Madeline locked me in here. That woman has been dying to have her way with me and thought she believed this was her big chance.”

“Wait…” Tobias interrupted. “I’m not up on all of the societal gossip, and I know you people have your own little… proclivities… but,” he turned to Leo, “isn’t Madeline your fiance?”

“Technically,” Leo sighed.

“OK, then,” Tobias simpered. “Well, how about we leave you two to sort this out while we go administer the antidote to others.”

Leo nodded at Tobias, “Excellent idea. We’ll meet up again outside.”

~~~~~

Several hours later, Tobias joined a team of King’s Guards assigned to delete all incriminating images from guests' phones. He was having too much fun helping, chuckling repeatedly before hitting delete. He turned to Ethan with a grin.

“You know, if we want to retire early, all I need to do is forward some of these to our phones. Our offspring’s offspring could live off of the blackmail money.”

He heard what sounded like the knuckles cracking behind him and found Oliva glaring his way. “I assure you, that would be ill-advised.”

“Relax, sweetheart. Don’t you know a joke when you hear one?”

Ethan looked between the two and shook his head ruefully. “I know I’m going to live to regret this… but you mentioned blackmail photos before… what were you talking about?”  

Tobias howled with laughter. “She took some photos of me and planned on using them against me. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t factor in that I have no shame. So, she got nothing.”

“Oh dear God,” Ethan groaned. “What the hell was on… you know what… no… I don’t want to know.”

“Why?” Tobias asked. “They were just pictures of me… in various states of undress… some may have involved latex… and a couple had switchblades….”

“OK, STOP!”

“In one,” Tobias said, standing up with dramatic flair, “I was kind of bent over like this….”

“I SAID STOP!” Ethan yelled as he rushed away, muttering under his breath.

Amused, Olivia slid up next to Tobias and gently caressed his forearm.

“He’s a bit squeamish, no?”

“Hey, they can’t all be me,” he laughed. “You’re looking good, Dutchess… you know, I wouldn’t exactly turn down the opportunity to … engage… again….”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Tobias, you’re a terribly handsome man. And as much as I can appreciate someone who eagerly follows my orders and calls me Duchess throughout, I must admit… I rather get off on the fear in my companion's eyes when I unexpectedly pull a sharp object in the heat of the moment… the fact that you kind of got off on that… it takes the fun out of it for me.”

“Hey!” Tobias protested. “Fear? Is that what you’re looking for. Listen, gorgeous, I had four years in drama club in college, and I can feign fear like the best of them. I think you should give me another shot.”

Olivia’s eyes raked over him, slowly taking him in from head to toe, a fiendish grin growing.

“You’re willing to wear a harness?”

Tobias scoffed. “When have I ever said no to that?”

“OK,” she smiled, rising to her feet. “The Beumont’s armory is in the basement. Go down the staircase, make a left, and it’s the last door at the end of the hallway. Meet me there in fifteen minutes. Oh, and get your lab coat back from Maxwell. Make sure you’re wearing that… and nothing else… when I enter,” she winked. “That’s the main course. The harness will be dessert.”

Tobias looked at her with darkened eyes. “At your command, my Duchess.”

Anxioulsy hopping to his, Tobias yelled to Ethan as he made his way to the door.

“Hey, buddy! I’ve got .. uh.. some things to do. Keep yourself occupied… look around for Bertrand… you both love boring things. He’ll know what to do.”

Liam and Leo leaned against the wall, shaking their heads at what they had just witnessed. 

“And that’s without the shag pollen,” Leo sighed. “Could you imagine them under the influence?”

Liam shook his head vigorously. “It would be the demise of Cordonia.  Perhaps the demise of civilization.”

@choicesficwriterscreations Tagging others in RB.

#choices fanfic #the royal romance #trr #open heart #open heart choices #playchoices #choicesprompts #choices fic writers creations #ethan ramsey #tobias carrick #olivia nevrakis #the rys family #trr au #round robin

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Infinite Wealth spoilers

Ok Eiji is so cartoonishly evil and such a slimy manipulate cunt, he's getting hit with the yandere/dark content beam for sure

Like he's not even that attractive outside of being a ridiculously manipulative piece of shit. He throws a tied up child down a flight of stairs and tear gasses her and the people trying to save her, what a fucking heel

Imagine him using the lidocaine and intentionally preying on Darling's kindness the same way he did Ichiban. Like they're at the hideout and he reaches too far for something only to fall and sheepishly apologize/thank them when they help him back into the chair. He wishes he could be more useful to the team instead of just using his tech skills. He's not strong like Ichiban...like you. Whenever you're out there with the group, he can't help but worry about you. If he could walk and fight, he'd be out there to protect you himself. Um...y-you know, as a fellow member of the team!

Or he'll do the stereotypical creep shit by asking you to get something he left on the ground earlier, just because it's across the room and he'd rather not wheel himself all the way there and back. And if Chitose is there and notices what he's up to, she glares at him and constantly tries to keep you away from him but won't explain why she's in such a weird mood. Just when she thought he couldn't be any slimier...

Just for kicks he decides to have the Barracudas take you AND Lani. After all, who's gonna stop him? A Yakuza like Ichiban? Eiji's researched so many crimes committed by the Yakuza over the years, and so many of those fuckers use and abuse women they think they're owed--typically bullies and lechers. Someone like Ichiban has no right to lecture him about honor and hurting innocents given who and what he is. Now EIJI'S the one with power, and he'll use anyone he wants.

So when the Barracudas bust in, he takes advantage of the chaos and stabs one of your thighs with a syringe of his lidocaine. As you stumble and fight to get to Lani, one of the goons throws you over his shoulder and hauls you into the car with Lani and Eiji. He's got an hour or so before his latest dose wears off and he can walk again, but you've got about 8 left before you can.

Once the brat's been stowed away, he has you handcuffed and has the guys guarding him stand outside. Your anger and sadness and betrayal is so funny, cute even. Ichiban wasn't the only one eager to play Florence Nightingale with him, but he has to admit he liked it better when you were the one he was leaning on. He has a nasty smile on his face as he lazily gropes you, moving his hands lower as you squirm.

"You know, I can see why the Yakuza like doing what they do. I had my life ruined because I tried to expose the actions of some selfish, evil pricks. Scum who took advantage of everyone they could, and destroyed everyone they couldn't. It's a rush, having that kind of power. But now, I get to do the exact same thing to them and anyone else in my way. I'm the one on top--in this case, literally, with you."

He's such a bully now that he can finally go mask off after all this time. See, the moment he saw you with Ichiban and the others, he knew you didn't belong. You're too nice, and unlike with Ichiban, it's genuine. A Yakuza like Ichiban, a former gangster's lackey like Tomizawa, a spoiled rich girl like Chitose...you're the only one whose biggest crime is being too naive and trusting. You really fell for Ichiban's Hero of Yokohama bullshit AND Eiji's puppy-eyed wheelchair-bound routine. That just proves you're too trusting and stupid to leave alone. At least now, you're with someone who's not pretending to be good and righteous like Ichiban.

That rush of power he feels while manhandling you and seeing you struggle in a futile attempt to convince him to stop, to get away, it's so gratifying. You really are cute when you're upset. He tells you every thought he had to keep to himself while pretending to be "Ei-chan" while touching you:

How he saw your lip quiver when you listened so intently to his sob story because you were trying not to cry and make him feel bad, and he was so thankful the meds had numbed his lower half and kept him from getting hard. How he invited you to look at him do his hacking and research just so you'd look over his shoulder and he could feel you brush against him. How when the others were patching you up after a tough fight and you'd let out those little whines/moans of relief, he had a dream later that night about you making those same sounds while he diddled you in the hideout (with one hand clapped over your mouth so you wouldn't attract the attention of the others in the next room)

Well, it's not that cramped hideout and it's just the two of you now, but at least he can make that dream come true.

#tw: noncon #.eiji #.yakuza #.like a dragon #yandere yakuza #yandere eiji #.myshit

[invisibleraven]

Haunted Holidays

December 24: Fairy Lights <-AO3 link!

“I know you’re disappointed, I am too,” Julie said down the phone line. “But the ticket prices are just way too high to afford coming home this year.”

“I’m more than happy to pay mija, you know that,” Ray replied.

“No, I can’t ask you to do that,” Julie chided. “Look, I know it sucks that we’ll be apart for Christmas, but that means I have months to save up and come home for the whole summer next year, okay?”

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to come?” Ray asked. “I don’t want you to spend the holidays alone.”

“I won’t be alone,” Julie assured him. “Reggie is stuck here too, and we’re going to have a nice, quiet Christmas together. But we’ll video chat for presents on Christmas morning, and it’ll be almost as good as me being there, okay?”

“You try telling your tia that,” Ray grumbled. “I’m sure she’ll call you later telling you to come home too.”

“Next year, I promise,” Julie vowed. “Te amo papi.”

Ray repeated the sentiment, and Julie ended the phone call with a sigh. Reggie offered her a cup of coffee, which she took with thanks. “Your folk take it any better?” she asked.

The tips of Reggie’s ears burned. “Oh um, I wasn’t planning on telling them? They don’t care if I come home or not-this will be one less thing to fight over. I usually spend the holidays with my MeeMaw, but she gets that the flights aren’t cheap. I’ll see her over spring break if I can.”

Julie flung her head back with a groan. “Man, why does everything have to be so expensive?”

“Capitalism?”

“Fuck Capitalism!” Julie proclaimed. Reggie bumped fists with her at that, and then they looked around their barren little apartment. “Won’t be much of a Christmas, but at least we’re together.”

Reggie hummed. “I’m sure we could go find a few cheap decorations and a second hand tree if we looked.”

“I unfortunately have a shift in an hour, so I can’t help with that,” Julie replied. “But feel free to look around, and if you find anything decent, let me know how much I owe you.”

Reggie gave a mock salute, and soon saw her off to work while he decided to hit the thrift stores. He had honestly never really cared about Christmas, but he knew it stung Julie to not be able to spend the time with her family, so for her, he was willing to go all out.

The next few days were rinse and repeat, with them working, and Reggie finding them decor, while Julie agreed to handle the food. It wouldn’t be anything fancy, but it would be better than nothing.

The morning of Christmas Eve, Julie rushed out of the apartment, with Reggie promising it would be fully decked when she came home. She had volunteered to pick up a shift today , since the tips would be good, and she could add them to her going home fund for next year. Or maybe pay Reggie back because she knew he spent more than he was admitting to on the holiday decor.

Of course the day dragged on, and Julie swore no amount of tips made it worth it-even if she could now swing by the bakery and pick up a tray of pastry for dessert. Plus a Santa cookie, just because.

Julie rushed home, almost giddy to see what Reggie had done with the space, and to have a few days free. Sure, it sucked not to be going home, but she had to make the best of a bad situation right? She kicked her boots off at the door, calling out “Reg! I’m…home?”

The space was filled with fairy lights, strung from the ceiling, the cupboards, around the windows. “Oh wow.” There was a tree in the corner, decked out with little decorations of red, purple, and gold. A laptop was set up at the coffee table playing a crackling fire, with soft music coming from it. There was garland and tinsel and holly everywhere, but in a tasteful way, not just flung over every surface.

“Hey, you like it?” Reggie asked, grinning from beneath a ridiculous pair of antlers he was wearing on a headband, a small red dot painted on the tip of his nose.

“Reggie… this is magical!” Julie said, setting her things down so she could hug him, whooping as he spun them around. “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble!”

“Yes I did,” Reggie assured her as he set her down. “I know you’re bummed you couldn’t get home, so I had to make your holiday season as amazing as you.”

“Well I love it!” she declared. “Let me get my stuff off and I’ll start cooking, we can put on a movie, have a good snuggle.”

“Sounds like a perfect Christmas to me,” Reggie said. “As long as we can wear our holiday jammies too.”

“Well d’uh.”

Julie hadn’t gone all out for the food for tonight-just some fish tacos, but she had a small chicken for the two of them for tomorrow. Plus it would last days, so they could survive on leftovers for a few days. They ate quickly, then met back up with cocoa to snuggle while watching Love Actually-a favourite of Julie’s, and only because she had won the thumb wrestling match and narrowly beat out Reggie’s choice of Gremlins.

“At least you didn’t suggest Die Hard,” Julie said.

“I mean, it is a great movie, but it’s not a Christmas movie,” Reggie said. “You should be more happy I didn’t suggest the Star Wars Holiday Special.”

“Ugh nope!” Julie declared. “I’ve seen enough clips of that to ban it from our home.”

“What if I tickle you into agreeing?” Reggie asked with an arch of his eyebrow before pouncing, making Julie squeal as he assaulted her sides with his fingers, making her cackle with laughter.

“Stop! I give!” Julie declared, breathing heavily, flat on her back on the couch, Reggie perched over her, smiling down and a little winded. The fairy lights everywhere gave him such a golden glow, and Julie reached out, tucking some of his hair back. Sucking in a breath as he caught her hand, kissing the centre of her palm.

“Julie…”

Eyes met, and there was no more need for words, as Julie pulled him down for a kiss-a real, passionate, fiery kiss that had Julie whimpering into it and Reggie’s toes curling in his festive socks. A kiss that ramped up and then slowly petered off as they needed to breathe, pulling back with wide eyes and racing hearts. “Wow,” Reggie whispered. “Didn’t even need to break out the mistletoe.”

“You never needed mistletoe with me,” Julie promised him. “I never needed any of this.”

“I swear if you quote Mariah Carey at me,” Reggie fake threatened, but grinned as Julie pulled him in close once more, nipping at his ear, which made him gasp.

“I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know…” she purred.

“Oh darlin’, I swear, I’ll make all your wishes come true,” Reggie declared, scooping her up from the couch. “Just lead the way, and I’m yours.”

“My room then,” Julie declared, laughing as Reggie trotted them off.

Sure she hadn’t gotten to go home to her family that year, but Julie didn’t really care at that moment, because she finally got what she really wanted for Christmas all along. And the next year, she got to bring him home with her, and every year after that as well.

#jatpadvent2023 #rulie #julie and the phantoms

[redhead1180]

Okay multiple questions . One have you seen 5ibs of pressure ? If so thoughts . Second do you think Leo from the crusades liked Ryan or was too busy fantasizing about the teacher ? Also could he not tell that Ryan liked him or was he aware and because he wanted the teacher and had never kissed a girl before he was very shy . I still don’t get how a guy that hot was shy . I digress this is more of a request for a fic or imagine your choice but I read the anon asking about Leo’s ticklishness and maybe one where Leo and miss kerpil ( idk spelling of her name lol) where instead of making him read the note or maybe after she either in front of the class or in private tickles him along the v line ? 😏😉 okay ta ta

Yes, I watched it last night and I swear I did not expect that ending. I was just expecting like an action movie, not one to rip my heart out at the end. I mean it was pretty good, felt a little clunky, but the actors did good. God Rudy can play hurt and angst so well. He did good in the movie. And OMG he will fill my trap!jj fantasies for awhile.

Ok, so I really think Leo was just so caught and infatuated with Miss Kerpial that he didn't notice until the dance. Remember she had recently broke up with Vince, so I don't think he had any idea or hadn't picked up on it yet. And no I don't understand why he was so shy or nervous around girls, cause Leo is fucking hot. But they did go to an all boy school so, he really didn't get much practice. And he was so in love with his teacher, he wasn't that interested in other girls at the moment.

So I usually don't have many things I won't write about, but underage student and teacher is a little icky for me. So for the purpose of this drabble, Leo is 18. It makes me feel better.

After being completely humiliated in class reading the note, Leo thought any shot with Miss Kerpial was gone. However, as he grabs his books to leave class, Miss Kerpial sternly says "Mr. Grecco a moment"

Ah shit, Leo thought to himself, what now? He walks up to her desk , keeping his eyes down and on the desk. Afraid to look at her and see the disappointment.

"I want to apologize for making you read that ridiculous note in class, but I can't show favoritism to my favorite student" she says apologetically and stands up.

Leo snaps his head up, not expecting that at all, and sees her walking around the desk to him. She slowly walks up to him gently places her hands on his waist. He gulps in some air, feeling a little light headed from her touch.

"I un- I understand" he stutters out. He is trying to stay focused, but she is rubbing her hands above the waistline of his slacks. It slightly tickles but also causes his dick to wake up. He really didn't want another humiliation of walking into his next class with a tent in his pants.

"Do you?" She asks innocently. Gently untucking his shirt from his pants.

"Mhmm" is all he whimpers out and closes his eyes. His brain is short circuiting and he swears he is in a dream as she pushes her hands under his shirt.

"Good" she whispers in his ear, "I didn't want you to be upset."

She lightly runs her fingers along his abs and v lines, and Leo's dreamlike state comes crashing down.

See it is an unknown fact that Leo is ridiculously ticklish along his v lines. So when Mis Kerpial lightly runs her fingers along there, Leo's fight or flight instinct kicks in and he instinctively jerks his body away, bumping her in the head, knocking her glasses off, and causing himself to trip and fall on her desk. He immediately starts to giggle in a high pitched girly laugh.

She lets out a loud "OW" and grabs her forehead, while he tries to get up to help, knocking papers everywhere, nearly falling off the desk, muttering "Sorry, sorry, sorry" the whole time, before catching himself and finally standing up.

"I'm so sorry, umm, I am really ticklish there. Obviously, now you know, I really am sorry...ok I am gonna shut up now" Leo rambles embarrassingly, before reaching down for her glasses. She decides to reach down at the same time and bumps heads with him, nearly knocking each other over. She stands up quickly, holding her head, and lets out a laugh.

*Yea I kinda noticed" she says chuckling still holding her head.

"Just stand there and let me get your glasses" Leo smiles as he reaches down to pick them up. He hands them to her, their fingers touching. Leo swears he was gonna faint. She smiles back as she put them back on.

She lets out a sigh, straightening her shirt, before saying in a firm teacher like voice, "Well Mr. Grecco you better get a move on before your late for your next class"

"Uh yup -shit- uh I mean yes ma'am" he stutters as he backs away to the door. He flashes her a mega watt grunt, dimple on full display, as he exits the classroom.

As he runs to his next class, tucking in his shirt, that smile never leaves his lips.

#anon ask #leo grecco prompt

[five-rivers]

Beltane

Written for Ectober 2021 Day 1: Trick vs Treat. This is part of the Exhumed series.

.

Danny Fenton walked into the precinct. As often happened when he did this, all attention slowly turned to him. “Hi, Detective Patterson. Have you ever heard of Beltane?”

Patterson took a long swig of coffee through the plastic stir straw, because she felt the need to be at least a little drugged before dealing with whatever this was, and then said, “Is this the kind of thing the whole precinct needs to know about, or is it more specific to me?”

“Mm, not specific to you, but I’m not sure if everyone needs to know about it, yet.”

Despite only select members of the Amity Park police force knowing Danny Fenton had another identity, he’d become a sort of ‘ghost liaison’ for the precinct. Better him than the adult Fentons, who tended to break things even (especially) when they were being careful.

“Actually,” continued Danny, “you might have already noticed some things about it. I mean, it’s seasonal, and Mom and Dad were detecting ectoenergy and ghost activity spikes for events like this before they got the portal up and running. Although, the portal was supposed to stabilize and reduce those spikes… I guess reducing one isn’t bad?”

“Okay,” said Patterson. “I don’t really know what you’re talking about. Do you want me to go find Collins?”

“Oh, that might be a good idea.”

“Great,” said Patterson. She turned her head to shout across the room. “McGee. Go find Collins.”

“Still the new guy?” asked Danny, sympathetically.

“It isn’t like we’re a popular posting,” said Patterson, “and, thanks to the ghosts, we don’t really need new people.”

Danny nodded placidly. “I know. But it must be hard for him, don’t you think?”

.

McGee had done his job. He’d discovered the corruption in the Amity Park Police Department and plumbed its depths. The problem was that he could never, ever, report it. Even if they didn’t have a perfectly good cause for it all, what they were ‘hiding’ (and they were only barely doing that) was so ridiculous that McGee had thought he’d gone crazy at first.

Ghosts.

The whole of Amity Park was haunted. Just like it said in those touristy brochures at the front of the local diners.

He stuck his head into the break room. “Collins, Patterson and Fenton want you,” he said.

“In the normal room?” Collins asked, shoving a sugary monstrosity of a donut into his mouth.

“I have no idea. She didn’t say.”

“Normal room then. Great job, McGee.”

McGee rolled his eyes. Great job, he said. As if he’d done anything.

God. What would Halloween be like?

.

“So, it’s like, reverse Halloween?” asked Patterson.

“Well, not exactly,” said Danny. He patted Daisy, the department mascot slash corpse sniffing dog who had followed them into the small interview room, gently on the head. “Actually, there are more similarities than differences. Basically, like Halloween, we’re going to get a spike in ectoenergy. Maybe even some ectoplasmic storms. More portals. That kind of thing.” He shrugged. “Most holidays and seasonal divisions have them, you know.”

“So… we’re getting Halloween round two?” asked Collins.

“What do you bet that this is what gets McGee to snap?”

“He’s been here since December,” said Collins. “I think he’s too stubborn to leave.”

“Is he still spying?” asked Danny.

“No,” said Patterson, waving a hand. “He gave up on that, after a while. But there’s a new office bet about whether or not he’ll stay stay, or if he’ll decide to quit. We’re not allowed to join in because we know him too well.”

“Mm,” said Danny.

“I don’t actually know if I feel like I know him that well,” said Collins.

“Well,” said Danny, “it shouldn’t be as extreme as Halloween. Since, I mean, there aren’t as many religious holidays directly associated with death and stuff happening on or around May first. So. Yeah. But the thing is, there are some traditional, er, activities. Spirited activities.”

Collins suppressed a groan, and was glad that Captain Jones wasn’t available today. He and Danny could sling puns at each other for obscenely long periods of time.

“I’ve never noticed ghosts doing anything on May Day,” said Patterson.

“This is only the third year anyone’s even acknowledged that ghosts exist,” said Danny, “so I’m not really all that surprised. But the reason that I came to talk to you guys is that some of the ghosts want to do Beltane stuff. Like the fire blessings. Also, I’ve been told that some of the trees in town are secretly ghost trees, and if we don’t want to deal with another tree army, we need to do some stuff to appease them.”

“Secret ghost trees.”

“My source is very reliable,” said Danny. “Also, while I say ‘we don’t want to deal with it,’ I think we all know who’d be dealing with most of it.”

“You would,” said Patterson.

“Got it in one. Like, I can convince most of the ghosts to either do their Beltane stuff in the Ghost Zone, or somewhere out of the way. They’ll be disappointed, but I can do it. The ghost tree thing, though…”

“Can’t we just, I don’t know,” said Collins, “get rid of the ghost trees?”

“Well, they aren’t really evil ghost trees. Or even really ghost trees. They’re more… ghosts that live in trees?”

“What, like dryads?” asked Collins, raising his eyebrows.

“That’s what I said, but they’re different species, apparently.”

“Okay,” said Patterson, “so. Appeasing the trees. How many trees are we talking about here, and how are we going to appease them?”

.

“Okay, so, this is definitely a whole precinct kind of thing,” said Patterson.

“And possibly an ‘all civil servants’ type of thing,” added Collins. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where are we going to get the funding for this?”

“Oh, don’t worry about money,” said Danny. “I’ll just blackmail Vlad, and if that doesn’t work, I can get Mom and Dad to pay for it.”

“What,” said Collins.

“I think this might be a bit beyond your parents’ budget,” said Patterson, “but knock yourself out as far as Masters goes.”

“Well, I guess if it is,” he allowed, dubiously, “I could get the cults to pitch in?”

.

“This is nice,” said Danny. The sky was a bit overcast, which was a shame, but the hundreds of bright flowers and cheerful music more than made up for that.

The May Day celebration was, in Danny’s opinion, a success. At least, this half of it was turning out to be. He’d have to wait and see how the Spirit Bonfires went tonight before he could really make a judgement.

He’d only had to blackmail Vlad a little, too. It turned out that the ‘ruthless businessman’ in Vlad was ludicrously easy to manipulate, and once Danny brought up how a celebration like this one could revitalize local businesses and bring in tourism, he’d caved.

Although, that might have been the threat of an angry tree army. Vlad had definitely come off worse for wear in the last one, on all fronts.

Then, publically putting the Phantom Stamp of Approval (and Necessity Given The Potential Angry Tree Army) on the event had gotten buy-in from his fans and (sigh) the cults. The cults were, in fact, very enthusiastic about their new Holy Day. Danny had made a map of all the places they’d set up booths, and was studiously avoiding them.

Sam and Tucker were doing a walkthrough of that area, now, to check for problems and unadorned thorn trees. They’d arranged to meet up soon.

So, Amity Park was decked out in ribbons and flowers. All of the schools had gotten Maypoles and the day off of classes. Several bands, both human and ghostly, were playing in different parts of town.

It was chaotic, but great.

Danny briefly cut into the street to dodge a pair of college-age men play-fighting with tree branches (a genuinely important tradition symbolizing the battle between winter and summer), then walked through a wall to avoid two ghosts doing the same thing.

Finally, he reached Madame Babazita’s table.

“Hi,” he said, “three readings, please.”

“Three?” she asked. “Just for you?”

“My friends should get here before mine’s done,” said Danny. Was he channeling some predictive powers? Maybe. Holidays did make his powers weird.

.

“I have no idea what your reading is saying,” said Madame Babazita, after fifteen full minutes. “The cards simply aren’t speaking to me today. Also,” she held up an Uno card, “I’m not sure how this even got here.”

“That’s okay,” said Danny, “I just wanted to make sure it was the same as last time.”

.

“Hey! Phantom!” called Ember across the crowd of ghosts that had gathered in the cemetery. Most of them were fire or nature themed. “You’re in for a treat!”

Danny, who had been examining the flowers left on his grave, looked up. “I am?”

Ember draped her arm around Danny’s shoulder. She’d been a lot more friendly with him since the corpse incident. “Sure are.” She stepped up onto the surface of his memorial, pulling him up behind her. Danny shook off a brief chill and looked around.

Ghosts were streaming into the cemetery from various directions, bringing armfuls of flowers with them. Danny could see two, huge bonfire piles of flowers growing near the cemetery gates.

“Are there going to be cows?” asked Danny, who was still fuzzy on the details of the ghostly side of the celebrations.

“I don’t know,” said Ember. “When I’ve seen this done in the GZ there are. Here? Who knows. Maybe we’ll just walk through.”

Danny nodded, unworried. Beltane sure was an interesting holiday.

The last armful of flowers was placed, and every flower in the cemetery caught on fire at once. Including the ones on Danny’s grave. Danny yelped, jumping into flight. As an ice core ghost, he vastly preferred cold to heat.

This went without saying, but fire was very hot.

Ember grabbed his foot, and he almost kicked her. “You knew that was going to happen,” he accused.

“Sure did, babypop,” said Ember, grinning. “Come on, don’t you want to pass through the bonfires?”

Danny eyed the very large bonfires on either side of the cemetery gates. They were lit up with sparks like fireworks, shifting like flowers blooming and withering and blooming again. They were beautiful and impressive, and Danny felt like melting just by looking at them.

“I don’t know…” He wanted to, but… melting…

“Well, if you want to go out the other way and be horribly unlucky for the next year…”

Danny narrowed his eyes. “Is that another trick?” he asked.

Ember’s grin grew wider, and she took off towards the gates. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Danny sighed and followed her.

.

“Unbelievable,” said McGee. “Absolutely unbelievable.” He gave the elderly cultist a boost into the wagon.

“I know, right?” said Patterson. “All this property damage and a low-key kidnapping,” she gestured to the hapless late night partier who had called the police when the cult got too insistent about their message, “and they didn’t even have the good drugs?” She shook her head. “Not that we ever arrest anyone just for drugs in this town.”

“I did not just hear you say that,” muttered McGee.

“We’ll make an Amity Parker out of you yet,” said Collins, heartily, slamming the back door of the wagon. He thumbed the button on his radio. “Any other disturbances?” he asked.

“No, you’re good to come back,” said the dispatcher.

“What I don’t get,” said McGee, leaning against a nearby wall in a moment of weakness, “is why we aren’t breaking up whatever cult thing is happening in the cemetery.” They’d seen it quite clearly on their way here.

“Because those are ghosts,” said Patterson.

McGee took a deep breath. “The ghosts are having some kind of ritual in the cemetery, and you aren’t worried.”

“Not really, no.”

“I hate it here,” said McGee.

“Do you, though?” asked Collins, sounding genuinely interested in the answer.

McGee opened his mouth to snap back that, yes, he did. But…

Hm. Huh.

Collins patted him on the back.

#danny phantom #ectober #ectober 2021 #ectoberhaunt 2021 #ectoberhaunt trick #ectoberhaunt treat #ectoberhaunt day 1: trick vs treat #fic #fanfic #exhumed

[arvinsescape]

Never too late.

A/N: I hope you enjoy!! I have not proofread this so i apologise in advance!! 💕💕

Summary: Tom messed up a long time ago but can he fix it?

Warnings: Swearing.

W/C: 4.2K.

When Isabelle had asked you to be her maid of honour you took the role immediately, wanting to be there for your best friend. It wasn’t until a few days later that you realised who you may have to interact with throughout the planning and on the day. You were currently getting coffee with Isabelle when the question slipped from your mouth, you hadn’t meant to spoil the atmosphere as you discussed flower arrangements.

“So, um, who did Haz pick as best man?” The question came out before you could stop it. Isabelle carefully placed her coffee down and looked at you with a sad smile.

“I was gonna tell you Y/N/N, I’m sorry.” She said, confirming that it was indeed the man you’d hoped it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” You apologised, guilt settling in your stomach as she reached over and took your hand in hers.

“No, I should have said. I just, well I don’t know, it’s been what? Three years? I thought you’d have gotten over it, no offence.”

“We never had closure, we just argued and that was it. We haven’t spoken since.” You shrugged and Isabelle smiled sadly again.

“Did you want it? Closure?”

“Not at first but then every time I saw him afterwards just brought it all back up, brought up how much I loved him and how much it hurt when we ended things.” You said as you bit your lip, sadness now settling in your chest. It wasn’t often you spoke about Tom, you couldn’t, every time it would make you cry and you could never explain why.

“Y/N?” Isabelle asked quietly and you looked at her, telling her to continue. “Are you? Do you still have feelings for him?” She asked and you shrugged before finishing your now luke warm beverage.

“I don’t think so, like you say it’s been three years. I’ve always put it down to not getting closure.”

“Maybe talk to him? This would be a good opportunity, you’re going to have to see each other a lot.” She suggested and you shook your head.

“No, after the way we left things, I’m not sure that’d be a good idea. I’m not doing anything to ruin your big day, I’ll be civil, I promise.”

**

You were meeting Haz and Isabelle for a meal to discuss how they wanted the day to go, making your way into the restaurant. You knew he’d be there and you were already prepared for your mind to throw you back to that night but of course all the preparation meant nothing when your eyes fell on him. Your heart twisting as you swallowed thickly and made your way to the table, doing your best to stay composed and civil.

You’d seen Tom several times after the break up, you ran in the same circles, same friends and your respective best friends were getting married. You’d seen him but always managed to avoid him, this time you couldn’t. You exchanged pleasantries and sat down, zoning out as your mind wandered back to that night.

“You’re such a fucking dick Tom.” You huffed as you shut the door to your flat. Tom making his way into the living room.

“I’m here aren’t I?” He fired back, irritated, you’d already argued over text.

“After having to be reminded yeah.” You said and he rounded on you, eyes holding anger towards you.

“I forgot okay? I’m a human being. It’s perfectly human to forget things.” He snapped back. You wish he hadn’t come over now, wish you hadn’t have reminded him of your movie night you’d planned.

“This is the third date you’ve forgotten.” You pointed out and he huffed as he rolled his eyes.

“I’m busy, you know that.”

“So am I and I still turn up to things we’ve planned. Believe it or not Tom, I actually remember I’m in a relationship.” You said as you stormed past him and into your living room.

“Can you just drop it? I’m tired and I’ve had a long day, I’m here now.” He said following after you.

“Sure. I’ll drop it, I’ll just bring it up next time yeah?” You shouted and his nostrils flared as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Stop being so difficult.”

“Difficult? Me? You’re the one who’s seemingly unavailable all the fucking time.”

“That’s not true. I make time for you.” Tom snapped out as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Bullshit. You used to, I’ll give you that but recently? It’s like you’d rather be anywhere else but here.” It was true that in the last month you’d hardly seen him.

“Maybe I do want to be elsewhere.” He shouted and your stomach dropped a little, it was different hearing it confirmed.

“What?” You asked a slight sadness to your voice but he was too angry to notice.

“You heard. You’re so needy and fucking irritating at the minute. It doesn’t matter what I do, you start a fight anyway.” He ranted and your heart stopped. Needy? Irritating?

“Well you’re hardly Mr fucking perfect.”

“You’re right I’m not. I’m fucking human. I know you want me to be this man who does nothing but put you first all the goddam time but that’s not always how situations work Y/N. I have a life outside of this relationship.”

“Yeah I get that, I do. But fuck Tom, I ask for one night of your time and you forget. Or is that even true? Is that you forgot or you just can’t be bothered?”

“You’re ridiculous. You know what? I don’t know if I can do this anymore?” What?

“What?”

“This, us. All we do is fight, I can’t do a single fucking thing that makes you happy. God damn Y/N, last week you got angry with me because I arrived a few hours later than I was supposed to. I would’ve understood had it not been for the fact that I got held up, my flight got delayed.”

“All you had to do was text, that’s all I wanted.” You said, sadness settling in your chest whereas Tom just seemed angry at the situation.

“I did! That’s why I was so fucking pissed off, it’s not my fault you never received it. What else could I have done?”

“Maybe you’re right.” You said.

“What?” Tom snapped out and you let your eyes brim with tears.

“Get out Tom.” You said.

“So I come over to get kicked straight back out, well fan fucking tastic.” He snapped with another roll of his eyes.

“No, I mean get out and don’t come back.” You said and Tom’s face fell.

“Wait, Y/N/N, are you,”

“Yeah,” you interrupted. “This isn’t working anymore, you’re right. Now can you please just leave?” You snapped as you looked at him, he looked at you hesitantly as if he was about to say something but he never did. He composed himself as huffed as he left with a slam of your flat door.

You’d always wondered what he was going to say, you knew he was going to. Maybe that’s why you found it so hard when you saw him, that wonder about what he would have said, would it have changed anything? Was he going to say something nasty, something to try and fix it? You never contacted one another afterwards, returning each other’s belongings through Isabelle and Harrison.

“Y/N/N?” Harrison asked as he waved his hand in front of your face, pulling you from your thoughts as you looked at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Long day.” You said, you could feel Tom’s eyes on you but couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“So, wedding guests.” Haz continued as he clapped his hands together. “You guys are gonna spend most of the day together.” He said as he gestured between you and Tom.

“If that’s okay?” Isabelle added as she looked at you with concern.

“Of course, it’s your wedding day.” You smiled as you tried to ignore the pounding in your head at the thought of having to spend an entire day interacting with the man across from you.

“Brilliant.” Harrison said, he knew you and Tom had ended on bad terms but probably assumed you’d both gotten over it. You wondered deep down if you had.

The dinner flew by and you couldn’t have rushed off to your house soon enough. Wanting to leave behind the awkward tension between you and Tom, maybe this was going to be harder than you first thought.

**

It was the day of the wedding and excitement was bubbling around the church. You were all made up in your bridesmaid dress, hair pulled up into an intricate style as you watched Isabelle pull on her wedding dress.

“You look beautiful.” You gasped as you handed her the bouquet of flowers. “If Haz doesn’t cry I think I might snatch you up for myself.” You joked and Isabelle smiled shyly. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, pins with diamonds twinkling under the lights, beautiful white wedding dress that fell elegantly around the floor.

“I’m nervous.” She admitted as she squeezed your hand.

“Don’t be. Harrison loves you, you’re gonna be so happy.” You said as you squeezed her hands back. A knock pulling you from your moment. It wasn’t long before Isabelle’s dad made an appearance, stopping as he saw his daughter.

“You look, oh my goodness, you look beautiful.” He said in awe as he embraced her, wiping at his eyes that were now full of tears.

“Thank you dad.”

“That boy has no idea how lucky he is.”

You followed her to the alter, her hand firmly grasping her father’s forearm as they linked arms. You were behind her as you made your way up the aisle, you couldn’t stop your eyes drifting to Tom and you watched as his widened, he was already looking at you. Harrison and Isabelle had made the decision to have the dress rehearsal but keep everyone’s attire a secret for the day, Tom hadn’t seen you in your bridesmaid dress.

The ceremony was beautiful, Harrison cried, well almost everyone cried as they watched the loving couple say their ‘I do’s’ and share their first kiss as a married couple. They made their way down the alter and you let out a shaky breath as Tom approached you, offering his arm out for you to take. You looped your arm through his as you plastered possibly the fakest smile you’d ever given.

“You look beautiful.” You heard Tom’s voice and you looked at him as you continued to follow Harrison and Isabelle. All bridesmaids now having been paired up with another of the groomsmen. Of course you and Tom had to pair up being in the positions you were.

“Thank you.” You said as you bit your lip and he gave you a small smile. You’d always been able to read Tom, always had a connection with him that was unexplainable. He seemed almost sad. He wasn’t giving off his usual vibe, not that anyone else would notice, he really is a good actor, just not good enough to fool you.

The lunch had gone really well, no hiccups, everything ran smoothly. The décor looked amazing, blue and white flowers decorating the table in beautiful glass vases in the middle of each table. You were sat next to Tom, making conversation with Tuwaine who was placed at your other side. The room falling into silence as the speeches started. Harrison’s was beautiful, Isabelle’s father’s just as much and now it was Tom’s turn. You wiped at your eye, the speeches having been so beautiful they’d brought tears to your eyes.

“I’m very happy to be here today and share this happy couples day with all of you. I am beyond grateful that you asked me to be such a huge part of it Harrison, being your best man has been and always will be an honour.” Tom started and Harrison smiled up at him.

“You just have to promise I’ll be your best man.” Harrison teased and Tom breathed out a laugh.

“Done. Your wife looks incredible I want to add, such a beautiful couple. I’ve known Harrison since we were kids and I let me tell you, I have an incredible amount of embarrassing stories involving this young man. Like the time he got so excited when we went bowling that he fell onto the alley, got a strike but of course it didn’t count. Or the time he got so angry playing golf that he threw a club at the floor and almost knocked himself out when it bounced back up.” Tom said which pulled a laugh from the room.

It did a strange thing to you, you were there that day he almost hit himself on the golf course, god knows how he’d done it. The memory of you and Tom laughing as Tom had his arms locked around your waist, you shook your head from the thoughts.

“I could go on but I’ll save his dignity.” Tom teased as Harrison flipped him off, Tom read the paper in his hands before stuffing it back into his pocket, you assumed he’d almost finished.

“I’ve always been jealous of Harrison in a way. He found something good and he kept hold of it, he fought for it and made sure he kept it. These guys have been through some tough times, they truly have and they’ve both seen the other side of it. Harrison has always been better than me when it comes to admitting fault, taking responsibility for his actions, something I’ve never been good at. Watching these two and how in love they are with each other has made me really think about myself as a person and all the stupid things I’ve done in life, the things I’ve lost through my own stubbornness. You really have taught me a lot about love and soulmates, I’m just glad you didn’t make the same mistake I did.” Tom said and you found yourself staring at him, as if he was the only person in the room.

Your eyes met Isabelle’s and she looked just as blown away as you did, Harrison looking up at his best friend with a knowing look. Tuwaine leant over and placed a handkerchief in your hand.

“Here, you’re gonna smudge your makeup.” He said and it only just occurred to you that you were crying, more than you had at any of the other speeches. Was he talking about you? You doubted it, he’s had plenty of girlfriends in the three years since you’d split. You only half listened as Tom finished his speech as he sat back down next to you, the room applauding him as they fell into their own conversations.

“That was,” you said as you cleared your throat. “That was really beautiful Tom.”

“Thank you.”

**

The wedding party continued on, it was now the evening do, the night drawing closer to the first dance, the last interaction you had to have with Tom and you felt nervous. The tension between the two of you thick after his speech, you weren’t sure if he felt it too and you had got it al wrong. Maybe you just wished he was talking about you, he clearly was referring to someone.

Tom took your hand in his as you joined the married couple in the first dance. Couples slowly joining as Tom placed his hands on your waist and you placed yours on his shoulders. To say you weren’t an actor you were doing well at hiding your feelings.

“You really do look beautiful.” Tom said, eyes finding yours.

“Thank you. You’re speech really was beautiful.” You always were one to give credit where it was due. He shrugged.

“Thanks, I read it online somewhere, I’m no good at writing that soppy shit.” He laughed and you breathed out a laugh. Oh.

It wasn’t long before you finished, Tom leaving you instantly and you missed being in his arms instantly. He disappeared most of the night, you only catching glimpses of him every so often.

“Y/N, you look beautiful.” Sam said as he joined you on the dancefloor.

“Thanks Sam.” You’d not seen him in a long time.

“How’d you like Tom’s speech?” He asked and you furrowed your brows, why was he asking you that?

“It was beautiful.” You admitted and Sam smiled.

“Yeah, I helped him write that.” He admitted. What?

“He said he got help online.” You said utterly confused.

“That’s bullshit.” Sam laughed. “I helped him write that whole thing. That part about being jealous of Harrison? Not what I helped him write, that was completely off script.” Sam said and you stopped your dancing as you looked at him.

“What?”

“Oh come on, that was completely pulled from his heart. You know Tom, that was completely unscripted.”

“Yeah, but he’s had a lot of girlfriends, why would I care?” You said and Sam burst into a fit of laughter at that.

“I thought you knew?” Sam said and you looked at him seriously.

“Knew what?”

“About Tom? About what happened on the stag do?” He said matching your seriousness.

“No?” You fished and Sam huffed.

“He was hammered okay. But he got all emotional and said some stuff about you.” Sam admitted and your furrow deepened.

“What did he say?”

“He regrets the way things ended. Regrets letting you go, said he wished he’d have stayed, told you how much you meant to him. Fought for you. Y/N, he was thinking about asking you to marry him.” Sam continued and your eyes blew wide at that.

“We were twenty-two Sam.” You said and he shrugged.

“We said that but he said it was irrelevant, he knew he’d found his person in you. He said he doesn’t think he’ll ever love anyone like he loved you, he’s tried.” Sam informed you. “I honestly thought someone had told you.” He said as he took in your shocked state.

“No.” You squeaked out.

“Y/N, he’s my brother and trust me, he’s an idiot at the best of times. But I know he loves you, it shocked all of us when he turned into an emotional mess over a relationship that ended three years ago. I think seeing you and the whole wedding put a lot into perspective for him.”

“But why now?” You asked and Sam looked at you seriously.

“Y/N, I think he realises this could have been your wedding. You were both young and stubborn and I stand by that fact but if things had turned out differently. If he’d stayed that night this could have been you and I think he’s realised that.” Sam said as he brought a hand to your cheek and wiped your tears out of your eyes. “Go find him. Talk to him.” He said and you realised you had to, after that revelation you had to. You owed it to the both of you.

“Thanks Sam.”

**

Half an hour it took you to find him, half an hour of running around looking for him until you eventually found the curly haired boy. He was on the roof, sat on the edge, looking out over the grounds of the manor house Harrison had booked for the wedding night. You had a room booked along with most of the guests.

Your heart was pounding as you let the door shut and your palms felt sweaty but your heart felt lifted at Sam’s revelation.

“I’m not so sure the best man is supposed to disappear.” You said and Tom snapped his head to look at you as you approached. Holding out a hand for you to take as you very carefully placed yourself next to him. The view was breathtaking, he’d always found comfort in the countryside, a complete juxtaposition to his life in cities.

“Probably not but I don’t think Haz will notice. I am planning on going back, just needed a breather.”

“Are you okay?” You asked seriously, you noted his slightly dampened mood all day.

“I never could get past you could I?” He asked with a breathy laugh.

“Nope.” You laughed in return and he smiled at you.

“Just thinking.” He admitted and you hummed.

“I spoke to Sam.” You said after a while and Tom sighed as his ran a hand through his hair.

“Figured it’d be him that told you. How much did he tell you?” Tom asked and you looked at him, admiring how beautiful he was and he really was, always had been.

“Everything, well I assume so. Is it true?” You asked and Tom looked back at you.

“Which part?”

“About the proposal thing?”

“Yeah.” He admitted and you furrowed your brows.

“Why’d you never come back? Say something?” You asked and Tom sighed.

“Because I was a fucking stupid child that’s why. Completely fucked up my chances with you.” Tom said and you nodded slightly in agreement with him, you weren’t blameless.

“Maybe not completely.” You said and Tom’s eyes widened.

“You mean?”

“I don’t think I ever really stopped loving you. I always thought it was closure I needed and then Sam said wat he said and I realised it was everything I wanted to hear. I tried to find the same connection with other men but I just couldn’t and I wondered if it was because I wanted closure with you. It took me until today to realise that deep down it was actually just you I wanted.” You said as a tear slipped from Tom’s eye and you were quick to catch it.

“I’ve never found that connection either. God, fuck, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” He said your heart soared.

“Still?” You asked and he nodded. “Me too.” You admitted and he smiled.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You do. We deserve to be happy in life Tom and you made me so happy. The happiest I’d ever been.” You said. “I was difficult because I was so scared, scared that you’d leave me, find someone else. You got this whole knew life, you were Spiderman, meeting models, all these women I couldn’t compete with.”

“You were never in competition. It doesn’t matter how many other women I met, they were never you, they could never be you. They didn’t understand me like you did. Y/N, there was and is never gonna be anyone else like you.” You were both crying now, happiness surrounding you.

“What were you gonna say? That night?” You needed to know.

“I was about to get on my knees and fucking beg you to let me stay. My stubbornness got in the way, I thought you could do better, have someone who was there for you all the time. Someone who didn’t forget dates and keep you waiting.” He admitted before he continued. “But if I ever got a do over in life that’s where I’d go, I’d get on my knees and beg you to let me stay, let me keep you.”

“Oh Tom.” You sighed out and he smiled shyly as you leant your forehead against his.

“I should have tried, should have fought for you but I was an idiot. I didn’t realise how much so until it was too late.”

“It’s never too late Tom.”

“I hope not because I want you Y/N, I want you back.”

“Kiss me.” You practically begged and he complied, his lips finding your own. His arms slipped around your waist as he pulled you flush against him. Your hands finding his hair as you threaded your fingers though it. The kiss was sweet but fiery, a kiss of two lovers reuniting as he pulled away and his lips found your neck as he kissed it, you moved your head to give him more access.

“I love you.” He said as he peppered his kisses back up to your lips.

“I love you Tom.” You returned as you deepened the kiss. Missing the way he felt, loving the way you molded against him and the amount of passion behind the kiss, something you’d not experienced in almost three years. No man had ever ignited you the way Tom did.

“Oi, oi! I fucking knew it.” You heard screamed from far below you as you both pulled apart and looked down at Harrison. He was outside smoking a cigarette and he’d obviously caught you both.

“Piss off.” Tom laughed back down as you placed your head on his chest and laughed.

“Izzy, baby, we don’t have to pull that bullshit about double booked rooms, you can let your cousin know there’s a free room.” Harrison shouted in his wife’s direction and you and Tom laughed.

“Wanna go back in princess?” Tom asked and you nodded as he stood before making sure you got up safely. “I owe you a proper dance.”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x female reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland

[cupcakemolotov]

reporter caroline the first and only media allowed behind the scenes of the countries biggest wolf pack led by alpha klaus mikaelseon

Maybe a mate prompt? It doesn’t have to be a werewolf mate thing, unless that’s what your muse says to do. I love all your fics.

-

Thanks for dropping these prompts off. My brain went careening down this one, hopefully you enjoy! Under a cut as it might be a smidge NSFW, but not really.

-

Caroline was not in the mood for company.

Outside, snow fell in a heavy curtain, a soft hiss of noise against the window of her hotel room. Snow. A blizzard warning, of all things, in Virginia. Usually, she didn’t mind the idea of a white Christmas, but usually she was tucked snugly in her apartment in New York, her pantry stocked with her favorite hot chocolate mix and half a dozen bottles of wine. She’d had plans to flirt with the hot neighbor across the hall, zoom Bonnie at whatever location her bestie was at these days taking pictures, and experiment with the perfect Hot Toddy recipe to fight the sniffles. Ever since her mom had died, she’d developed a routine. It was a good one, if she said so herself.

She should have known this assignment was cursed from the beginning. Matt never gave up a story if he thought it would go well, bragging about having inherited his grandmother’s sight. As someone who knew all about witches and just how dangerous they could be, she called bullshit, and called it often. What Matt was good at was peering over shoulders just far enough to not be noticed, or lingering at the copier to see what other people were printing. If he could have hacked into her email without being noticed, she had no doubt he would do it.

So when her boss had casually mentioned that Matt had a family emergency and would be unable to make this trip, to interview the Brand Spanking New Alpha who had taken a huge chunk out of his neighbors territory and had the temerity to hold it, well, Caroline had known she was being baited. They had needed someone to cover the story, and this close to Christmas, finding someone willing wasn’t exactly easy. She’d also known that it was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. The packs were notoriously tight lipped, rarely granting interviews, and that someone had managed to wrangle this one at all would be giant fucking feather in her cap, when she pulled it off.

Her byline on the front page. On a copy that would sell extremely well, because all supernatural content did. It was why Matt tried to hog it. She couldn't turn it down.

Besides, she hadn’t been back to Virginia since the funeral, and she might have missed it. Just a little. The trees, the decency of her neighbors. The small town feel that said you knew everyone and everyone knew you, except when you didn’t. She’d told herself at the very least, she’d get the chance to remember why she’d left in the first place. It wasn’t like she was going to Mystic Falls, Richmond was a world away from her hometown.

Caroline had gone in knowing the story. Klaus Mikaelson, twenty-eight years of age. Ridiculously young to have taken over a pack. Attractive, in that tumbled curls and fulls lips way that was unfairly framed in dimples. She hadn’t let the idea of his good looks spook her. Werewolves were a nightmare to date, and as she unfortunately knew from Tyler, Alphas or Wanna-be-Alphas were the worst. Territorial was both an adjective and a verb where they were concerned, and she wasn’t about to let a pretty face throw her off her game.

She had a mission. Get in, ask the questions that needed to be asked, and write a kick ass article that she could pin to Matt’s cubical when she got back from wherever he’d been. He deserved it, after the shit he’d pulled getting her yanked off the Silas story. An overnight trip, an extra day to write the damn thing and then she could start her Holidays on a high note.

Except nothing was going to plan.

First, her flight had been super delayed because of storms and she’d gotten a scant few hours of sleep before her big appointment. Then once she’d gotten to the location the wolves had chosen, they had tried to insist that she didn’t have the correct credentials. Power plays were hardly unexpected, and she was no rookie to cower. She’d refused to budge, they’d gotten snarly, and someone had finally called in Klaus after she’d slapped the email exchanges between the PR Department at the Paper and the Beta that she’d printed off onto the table.

He’d shown up, dressed in dark jeans and a Henley, seemingly unconcerned with the bitter wind. Pretty, ruthless, with a temper to match the cut of his dimples. Caroline had known that. She’d known every googlable fact about Klaus and had made some careful calls to Bonnie and a few trusted people from her hometown to find out a few more. She believed in being prepared, over-prepared when she could manage it, and everything she found out resonated with her as truth. Dangerous when riled, his moods could be mercurial, but he held what was his with teeth and claws, and hadn’t had a challenge in nearly a year.

Facts.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared her for the way he slammed in her chest when their eyes met. It’d felt like stepping into the quiet before a storm, the heavy, intent feeling of wild summer storms building on the horizon, the rumble of thunder a distant thrum in her ears. She’d never experienced anything like it in her life, and it had taken teeth gritted effort to keep from embarrassing herself.

Magic. It had to be some sort of magic, though she didn’t know what. What a time for Bonnie out somewhere in the Australian outback.

Klaus hadn’t even so much as blinked when she’d felt like she was drowning, so she’d brushed it off, had squared her shoulders as she dug out her recorder and notebook, lifted her chin, and waited for him to sit down for the interview he had agreed to do. She’d flown out the week before Christmas for this, when she should have been shopping and wrapping presents, carefully arranging the ornaments on her tree to absolute perfection.

He could damn well respect her time. There were thirteen laws and two treaty violations he’d have to contend with if he so much as threatened her to avoid his commitment, and they’d both known it. All she had to do was be professional, and she didn’t have to worry about a thing.

It’d been the politest, most difficult interview of her life. Getting Klaus Mikaelson to talk about himself was like pulling water from stone, and if he’d been surprised by the depth of her knowledge, well, that was a him problem, not a her problem. By the time they’d wrapped up the allotted time, her jaw had nearly creaked with how hard she’d been clenching it.

Then her flight had been canceled due to mechanical issues.

Thankfully, her hotel had been able to accommodate her for the extra nights stay, and she’d ordered in over-priced room service, treated herself to a glass of wine, and sat down to start working on the rough preliminary outline of the article she’d been chewing on for a couple of hours. In the end, Caroline almost wished she dared order a second glass. Something about listening to the recording of Klaus' voice, the deep rumble of sound that brushed over her skin over and over as she replayed answers and took notes, left her hyper aware of things that were best ignored. She’d been attracted to her interviewees before. She wasn’t made of stone, and physical chemistry could be tricky. That she found Klaus Mikelson hot as well as magnetic was unfortunate, but she’d deal.

It wasn’t like she would ever see him again.

When the internet had gotten spotty, she’d gone to be, ready to be done with the ridiculousness of her day, with plans to wake early to start finagling outline into actual words before her rescheduled flight.

The sooner she could shake the dust of Virginia from her boots, the better.

Except she’d dreamed. Of roaming hands and lingering, wet kisses, of those curls she’d wanted to entangle between her fingers, the crease of a dimple against her fingertips. The feel of naked skin pressed so closely to her own.

She’d woken hot and sweaty, heart pounding.

Then, instead of making a dignified escape, the world had disappeared in a flurry of snow and sleet and her best chance of leaving Virginia was going to end up being once the storm cleared out. Which meant the next day, if she was lucky.

And now someone was knocking on her door.

Someone who would not stop.

Swiveling the slightly uncomfortable desk chair she’d been hunched over for the past three hours, Caroline scowled. She hadn’t ordered room service, there was no one who knew she was really here other than her job, and the front desk had agreed to let her keep her room as they had received multiple cancellations due to the weather. She’d left the Do Not Disturb sign on the door to avoid this very thing.

When the knocking continued, she shoved back and stomped to the door. Yanking the door open, her biting comment died on her lips. Standing with his hand lifted, head tipped in a manner more wolfish than man, was Klaus. The softness of his sweater was unfairly temping, and his curls were damp from the storm.

“What do you want?” Her words were flat, torn from a mix of embarrassment that she’d dreamed of him naked and that she couldn’t fight the blush she could feel heating her cheeks.

His eyes dropped, tracing the splash of color on her skin, and the edge of his lips curled into something dangerous to her sanity

“Hello, Caroline. It appears we need to talk.”

#my fic #klaroline #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline drabbles

[allyouneedisbuck]

Champagne Problems

Summary: a companion piece to What Kind of Man. Harry never meant for things to end up this way. 

Warnings: Cheating. Forgiveness after cheating. Don’t read if you don’t agree with that. 

Notes: some of the scenes from harry’s pov & some new scenes to dive deeper into harry. this is just march! so it’s a companion to the first piece only & is short!

-

Left you out there standing

Crestfallen on the landing 

Champagne Problems

-

March.

-

Harry wasn’t exactly sure when you and him had drifted apart. Logically he knew every relationship had points where things may feel repetitive or where both people struggle, but the two of you had never felt this cold. 

That doesn’t stop the guilt that sinks his stomach and causes his lungs to constrict when you hang the phone up. “Y/N?” He asks in response to the obvious dial tone. 

The guilt doesn’t stop him from staying at the pub. Niall had left hours ago with a hurried goodbye. Jennifer had declined going out at all, saying all she wanted was rest. All who was left was Mitch, Harry, Ally and their semester law intern, Hannah. 

“Everything okay at home?” Ally asks kindly as Harry slips into the booth. Mitch raises his eyebrows as Harry shrugs. “She sounds pissed, but no emergency.” 

“If she sounds pissed why are you still here?” Mitch laughs. It sounds uneasy to Harry as his friend looks him up and down confused. “I remember when you used to refuse going out with us because you didn’t want Y/N upset.” 

Harry takes a sip of his beer and looks away. The pub was mostly filled with other suits. More lawyers from the firm who worked in offices Harry never visited. Doctors from the hospital two blocks away.

He turns his head back to look at Mitch when he feels a hand graze his knee. “I think you deserve a break.” Hannah says quietly. Harry watches as Mitch shakes his head, but turns away before his friend can say anything else. 

(Because Mitch’s stare just forces the guilt up Harry’s throat and he’s afraid it’ll come out in vile. Things were never supposed to go this far with Hannah. It was supposed to be stupid flirting and compliments. Nothing that could break you. It was never supposed to break you.)

(Harry hadn’t done that good of a job.) 

- 

Harry wasn’t drunk. He hadn’t been drunk since law school. He was an adult. With a high paying position at a sought out law firm. He didn’t get drunk. 

You didn’t leave the porch light on though, so it’s a little hard for him to focus on getting the key in the door and also being quiet. But he’s not drunk, so he can do it. He does it. 

He pauses as he drops his keys onto the entry table. The entire first floor is dark. He slips his shoes off as well and leaves them by the door in order to avoid trying to find the correct cubby for them. 

You had left the hallway light on upstairs, so most of the staircase was illuminated enough for Harry to make it up them without missing a step. That didn’t stop him from stumbling up the last three though. 

He can see the bedroom light had been left on as well. He listens for the sound of you talking to Jack or even just the baby’s giggles, but when all he hears is silence, he assumes you had fallen asleep writing. He pushes the door open. 

You’re sitting on the edge of the bed and twisting your ring around your finger as you gnaw on your bottom lip. Your head shoots up when you hear the door open and Harry’s eyes widen. “Y/N?” He feels his eyes squint at the bright overhead light feeling much harsher with your glare. 

He ignores the pit in his stomach as he lifts his wrist the check the time, “Why are awake? It’s almost three in the morning. (He never meant for this happen. He was never supposed to be in this scene.) 

You shrug and let out a laugh that Harry could only describe as empty. The pit in his stomach grows as you whisper harsh words, “I’m well aware of how ridiculously late it is, Harry. I figure I should be awake though, it’s the only time I’ll see you.” 

Harry looks away as he pulls his jacket off and lays it on the bed beside where you were sitting. “What are you talking about?” In order to avoid your stare he focuses his attention to his white button up. He hands fumble and he notices you stand in his peripheral version. 

His hands pause for a moment, like he expects your hands to steady his shaking ones like they normally did. You almost do, he notices, but a look crosses your face and your arms cross over your chest defensively. 

“The kids missed you.” You say quietly. 

Harry knows what’s coming as his hands fall completely away from the shirt and he finally looks at you. He feels tears rush to his eyes as the guilt from earlier in the night returns tenfold. “I missed them too.” He says quietly. 

“Seph asked me if you were leaving us.” The words feel like a punch to the gut as you just watch him stand and process them. Seph asked that? Had he really been gone so often his first daughter, his best friend, was worried he wouldn’t come back one day? 

“She what?” Harry flinches when he hears his voice crack. “I would never leave you guys, I love you.” 

You look away. “Do you?” And if your words about Persephone had felt like a punch, these felt like a gunshot. Pain splintering from his chest throughout his entire body. 

“What?” He almost yells. But he knew the kids were asleep. He never wanted to wake his kids up to fighting. He feels like he’s sobering up fast and it’s making him nauseous. He takes a hesitant step towards you before placing his hand gently on your cheek. 

Or at least, attempting to. You flinch away and Harry’s hand falls to his side. “Y/N,” He starts quietly. “Don’t think-”

Your laughter cuts him off as your eyes flick angrily back to his. “if you wanted me to believe that, you wouldn’t come home smelling like another woman.” Harry’s heart freezes as his eyes widen. You pull his left hand up, “You wouldn’t leave your wedding ring out for me to see every time I was my hands.” 

Harry tries to pull his hand back, ashamed at the idea of his ring haunting you, but your grip only tightens. “You wouldn’t have a hickey. One I didn’t give you considering we haven’t had sex in months.” Your other hand is point hard into his chest to where a mark lays covered partially by his shirt. 

You let go of him as you fall onto the edge of the bed and look up at him with tears. He feels his chest constrict as he sits down next to you. He pulls both your hands into his, “Y/N...” He says quietly. “I am so sorry.” 

Tears threaten to spill from his eyes as you try to pull away from him. “Am I not good enough?” You ask quietly. He pulls you to him but you thrash in his arms. “Seventeen years of my life. Four kids. Everything. I gave you everything.” You’re crying but your voice is cold. 

You’re thrashing stops and it’s silent. Harry reluctantly lets go of you and you immediately stand up again. You look at him expectantly and Harry feels like he’s going to throw up as he looks down at his hands. 

“It didn’t mean anything.” he says quietly. Truthfully. “It never meant- I love you.” He stresses. He falls from the bed to his knees in front of you. “You’re the love of my life.” He thinks of college. His law school graduation. He thinks getting promoted and buying your home. 

He thinks of divorce papers as you look away from him. “How long?” You ask quietly. 

“Please.” Harry begs. Where would he go if you kicked him out? Mitch would tell him he was an idiot. He loved you. Would his mom take your side? She should, he thinks. Gemma would want to kill him. 

“How long?” You ask coldly. Your face has steeled itself. Harry can see the tension in your jaw and almost feels his dinner coming up. 

“A month.” He wraps his arms around you. He nuzzles his face into your stomach. He sees your hand twitch, almost like you want to run a hand through his hair. “It meant nothing. Y/N. I’ll end it right now.” 

Stupid. His head screams. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

“Okay.” You unwrap yourself from his arms and step away. Harry watches you confused as you move towards your side of the bed. “I’m going to bed.” You rub a hand over your face before laying down. 

Harry stands awkwardly unsure of what to do with himself. He knew he couldn’t sleep in the bed. That something like that was probably the last thing you wanted to do. 

“Take a shower. Sleep in the guest room.” Your back is facing him and he sees your arms wrapped around yourself. This bed is too big for one person, he thinks. That’s selfish of you; His conscious tells him. 

He moves quickly to get pajamas from the closet. He debates showering in the ensuite, maybe he’d be able to see you again before sleeping, but he turned out of the room. 

He would shower in the kids bathroom. 

-

The guest room was cold. It was the only bedroom downstairs and that made it felt ten times lonelier to Harry. It was rarely used too. Gemma would stay in it when she visited L.A, but she had gotten her own apartment in the city and it was no longer used frequently. 

Your parents lived only an hour away and had no need to spend nights at your house and his mother was rarely able to make the flight over the ocean. It felt like something staged for the sale of a house. 

Harry sighs as he sits on the edge of the bed. With his head in his hands he thinks over where he went wrong. He had never meant for this to happen. For any of this. 

The distance had been a byproduct of the stress. He was worried about the kids. He had done the numbers and sure you two were well off, but four kids was expensive. You had stored any more you’d made from your book in savings. A rainy day fund didn’t calm Harry’s nerves.  

So he worked more. And he went out after work for a drink or two. And he talked. That’s what it had started out as. Just talking numbers over with Hannah, who helped him work them out. She wanted to be a divorce lawyer. Or maybe it was just broad family law. 

Harry thought that was ironic now that his marriage would probably be over. It was running through numbers. Maybe there was a hand on the knee or feet that were just too class together. Things he had brushed off as accidents and completely unintentional. Then it had been him walking her to her car. Then she had kissed him and well- Harry isn’t blameless. 

It would be ridiculous for him to say he was. 

He falls back onto the bed and lets out a shaky breath. How had he been so stupid? 

He sits back up immediately and pulls out his cellphone. He hadn’t even saved her number. They almost never texted and would usually just see each other at the bar. It had only been two weeks since they had kissed by her car. They had only-

He can’t believe he had let it get this far. He can’t believe he’s sitting here justifying himself with onlys. 

He’s unsure of what to say. Should he apologize? It wasn’t anymore her fault than it was his own. 

I have kids and a wife I love. This was wrong. I’m sorry. 

Harry flinches. He felt gross and guilty. The shower hadn’t done anything but sobered him up. He felt everything over and over. Nausea, a headache bound to come on, guilt and just pain. 

He pulls up Mitch’s message strain. Won’t be in tomorrow. Not feeling great. 

He responds within minutes. Hope she doesn’t leave your ass. I’d take her side. 

Harry lets out an empty laugh. Wouldn’t everyone? His mother loved you. She had since the two of you had met in college. When you had found out you were pregnant a semester before graduation his mother had been nothing but supportive; Especially when your parents had poorly hidden their own disappointment. 

Gemma thought of you as the sister she never had. Her and Harry were close, but over the last almost twenty years you and her had grown closer. 

His mind drifts to the kids. How could he do this to the kids? Force them go through what had been devastating to him. He may not practice family law, but he knew how it worked. You worked from home all the time and had been taking care of them their entire lives. 

They would ask the kids where they wanted to go, they would refuse to leave their mother. Harry would too, you were home to everyone in the family. Life without you sounded meaningless. 

Why did you do it then? He shakes his head. He doesn’t know. It wasn’t like you had stopped giving him attention, there was no time for sex and work got in the way of dates. It was his fault. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The word repeats itself over and over again in his head. . Even if he could find ways you had ignored him or cast him to the side it would be pointless. It would be placing blame on a blameless person. It was his fault. 

He crawls under the comforter. It’s nowhere near as soft as the one you had chosen for the bedroom. The sheets weren’t slept in so they didn’t feel as soft and worn. Harry thinks of having to find his own sheets and bed, his heart drops. 

He doesn’t sleep. Unable to stop the back and forth of how do I fix this and will she even let me try? 

-

Harry’s fingers tap incessantly on the drivers wheel as he makes his way home from Serena and Oliver’s school. Persephone had been pretty silent to entire drive to her high school, but Oliver had done more than covered for her with his stories. 

How had it gone from breakfast together at least once a week and and family game nights to Oliver wanting nothing more than to be in his mother’s car and Persephone sitting in pure silence. 

Harry’s mind trails back to you as he drives. You had barely spared him a second glance as you sat down to join them at the breakfast table. He had felt his hesitant smile drop when you looked away from him. And even though talking to the kids all morning had caused his happiness to jump, there was still pain steadily flowing as he thought of what your plan was. 

Would you kick him out? Selfishly, he thought that was his biggest fear. Not having you and the kids to come home to everyday and losing the comfort it had always brought him. he had taken advantage of it and now that it could slip through his fingers at any moment he felt disgusting. 

The drive allows him to wallow in his thoughts, but pulling into the driveway is a far worse feeling. Knowing that you were inside and could give him news that would kill him.

Was he allowed to feel that way? He asks himself. Like you leaving him would kill him, when it would be because of his own choices. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to straighten himself out as he steps out of the car and begins the walk towards the front door.

He mumbles apologies and empty words as he walks up. Unsure of what he could say to you to break the silence. When he opens the door, you’re sitting with Jack as he babbles and plays with his toys on the floor. 

“Forgot how much Olly could talk.” Harry settles on starting with. He lets out an awkward laugh as you stand and lift Jack up before placing him in the play pen. You lean down and tickle him gently. “Please don’t escape, little Houdini.” Once you let him go and step away the young boy crawls away with a giggle. 

You make your way towards the kitchen silently and Harry walks behind you with a nervous buzzing feeling in his chest.

You take a deep breath and Harry watches as you slide a piece of paper over the counter and towards. As his eyes scan down the list he feels a sliver of hope creep into his heart.

“What’s this?” He asks quietly. It’s names and phone numbers that have his heart beating a million miles per second.

“A list of marriage counselors.” His eyes follow your finger as you point towards each name and number. “For us to see once a week.”

The hope in him is growing by the second as words keep coming out of your mouth. “You’re not leaving me?” He blurts out in shock.

Your stance turns defensive and Harry takes a deep breath trying to calm himself. “No.” You answer quietly. “Not yet anyways.” Harry can’t help the furrow of his brow as the words hit him. It wasn’t definite and this was a test. You sigh which forced Harry to move his attention back to you. “We have four kids together. A life. And no matter how much you hurt me, I still love you.”

Harry bites back the smile threatening to cross his face. Because despite everything, you love him. You still did. You both glance at your ring finger when he notices you twisting the ring around it. “You’re the love of my life. I don’t want to throw that all away without trying first.”

Harry can’t stop the smile this time as happiness bursts inside him. “Y/N.” He says quietly.

He kind of zones out as he watches you go over what you want to do from here. Counseling and cutting hours back at the firm. Neither a punishment in Harry’s mind.

“I’m not sure if you like, ended it with her.” You start and he nods hastily. “I have. I did last night. I’ll never talk to her again.” He promises. He feels guilt again but part of is held back by the unadulterated hope he has now.

He debates taking the steps towards you before finally deciding it was necessary. When you don’t move away, he pulls you into a cautious hug, one that he’s shocked to feel returned.

“Thank you.” He whispers and you nod.

He would fix this. He swore it. This wasn’t a maybe in his head, it was necessary.

-

Your heart was glass I dropped it.

Champagne Problems.

-

Notes:

Just a small piece while you all wait for third main part to wkm! thank you for the endless patience. hope you all are safe & healthy.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles #cheating #angst

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.18

Annulment

03/06/2021

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 6,291

Warnings: angst, pregnancy, broken marriages, depression, abandonment, little bits of fluff, supportive Loki

A/N: After I finished the last chapter, I went right to work on this one because the mood was good and I’ve been wanting to get these chapters out since the very beginning. These are the moments that drive me to write fics. The point of contention when everything gets messy. I hope you enjoy it, thank you so much for your comments and reblogs. Since I posted this one so quickly after the one before I will be replying to the comments on this one instead of the one before. I hope you can forgive me! <3 Thanks for reblogging if you do, it seriously helps SO much. xoxo

If you were ever in question as to whether you had a fight or flight instinct when faced with stressful situations, you now know that your instinct is to freeze.

You’re immobilized by the terror that’s tearing through you. Nothing feels real at this moment when your whole world has suddenly come crashing down.

Only seconds have passed but you quickly push your meltdown as deep within you as you can.

One hand placed on your belly in an absentminded caress of the baby growing inside, you reach for the door to go in and tell Thor you’re pregnant. It doesn’t matter that Jane is pregnant too.

You’re his wife. This little one inside you is the heir to the New Asgardian throne. And yet, your mind starts to add up the time that Jane might have become pregnant and her baby would come first.

Her child would be heir, not yours. Legitimate or not. These days, that stands for nothing.

So, despite knowing that you’ll have to deal with Jane for the rest of your life as she is the mother of your husband’s first child, it’s really not all that bad.

He loves you.

Thor loves you.

While you process this sudden revelation, the conversation on the other side of the door continues not waiting for you to come to get a grip.

“Are you certain?”

“Do you doubt her?” Thor demands, sounding frustrated and stressed.

“Yes,” Loki says passionately, “I would doubt anyone that I have not seen in several months.

“What reason would she have to lie?” Thor begs, genuinely looking for an excuse that will make this untrue. “She has never wanted the responsibility of the throne. She has always spoken of having children as a distant possibility. Not an assurance. The last thing Jane would want is a baby.”

“When did you even have the opportunity to bed her? Did you secretly make her your mistress?”

“No!” Thor gasps, as if the idea of cheating on you is ridiculous. “No, I-it was the day I went to end things with her when Y/N accepted my proposal.”

“So, you slept with Jane and then came back home and bedded your new fiance on the same day?”

“I’m not proud of that fact,” Thor admits.

“Regardless, even if you did sleep with her, you need to have her examined, Thor. You cannot take her on her word, not with so much on the line.”

“Fine,” Thor agrees, “But I’m certain that she isn’t lying. She’s been tired and sluggish since she arrived, her appetite strange, and this past week she’s been sick at every meeting, unable to hold down any of her lunch.”

A deep sigh from Loki tells you he’s resigned to Thor’s judgement. Jane is pregnant.

“What will you do?” Loki asks.

The quiet tone of their voices more dire than the passionate denial Thor’s voice had been just a moment ago.

You should go in now. You’ll tell him that you don’t care that Jane is pregnant. You’ll support him and assure him that if he wants them to move into the palace or maybe one of the houses on the palace grounds, you won’t mind! In fact, it will be better so that your babies can grow together as true siblings.

“Y/N is not pregnant yet,” Thor says slowly, his voice calculating.

He’s thinking hard.

“What is your point, brother?” Loki demands, sounding defensive.

“If-” Thor breathes in deep, but when he speaks, the words tumble out sure and decided. “If I am to do right by Jane’s and my child, if I am to legitimize my heir, I’ll-”

He hesitates, your heart thrumming so fast and hard that you can hear it’s beat in your ears as your brain throbs.

“I’ll get an annulment. The basis of which will be that Y/N has been unable to provide me with an heir. I’ll get sworn statements from her doctors that our-our bodies are not compatible and since Jane is already pregnant-”

You take a step as if to run but freeze because you know you can’t do this. No. You can’t face this. Not here. Not this close to him and her and all of this stupid royal bullshit that you never asked for but got anyway.

As you fracture from the inside, you paint a calm smile on your face and while you pull it off, you can’t disguise the exhaustion that pokes through. You take several feet back from the door, giving yourself a good length of hallway to walk.

You straighten up, stand as tall as you can, and move towards the parted door, “Thor?”

There’s a rush of movement from inside as you reach the war room and you try to keep your hand from trembling as you reach down and pull the door open.

Inside, Loki stands ramrod straight, hands behind his back and his face carefully devoid of any kind of expression other than his normal neutral.

Thor turns away from his desk, forcing a smile for you until he sees your face and his own falls quickly.

You know he doesn’t think you overheard him because you’d given yourself plenty of distance so that he and Loki could stop talking before you were close enough to hear anything.

But he knows something is wrong and he moves towards you, right hand extended to take hold of your arm.

Trying not to make it obvious, you meander towards one of the tall wooden chairs by the war table and sit down before Thor can touch you.

“What is it, cherub? Are you ill?” Thor wonders, moving towards you.

Feigning interest in the small models of the outposts that the Warriors Three occupy across the planet, you get up and move away from him again as you lean down to look at the one in the United States.

“I’m-to be honest, I am feeling a little under the weather,” you nod, sighing as you give him a quick pained smile.

You clear your throat, hoping that it sounds like you’ve got a tickle.

“I’ll send for the doctor,” Thor moves towards the cord by the door but you stand up straight quickly and shake your head.

“No, Thor, don’t. I think maybe I just need some rest?” you nod, smiling at him again but it still just looks painful. “I came to ask you if it would be okay for me to go stay at my house for a little while? Maybe a week or so? Just so that I can get some proper sleep and-and maybe find out if it’s really me getting sick or I’m just stressed out about this park project?”

“I thought the park was almost done?” Loki checks.

“And it is,” you nod at him. “But we’ve had so much trouble with the import of several of the plants that I’d wanted to have in the wildflower corner of the park and the fountains are still giving us trouble so, I-I just need a few days to get away from it.”

You turn back to Thor who isn’t looking at you anymore but has his hand pressed to his mouth as he loses himself in thought.

As you watch him contemplate and weigh his options, wondering if he should seize this very convenient opportunity you’ve intentionally given him to make up his mind on what to do about Jane and her baby, you very nearly break.

Your lip quivers and in your desire to hide it, you move back towards the door and feign a quick peek out as if looking for someone.

“Thor?” you prod, getting a hold of yourself and turn to fix him with your expectant gaze. “Is that okay? Can I take a few days to just rest up?”

He snaps out of his thoughts and his face softens. You see the Thor who’d just had you perched on his lap, arm around your waist.

“Of course, cherub, if you need some time then you should take it.”

The sadness that fills you is urged on by the knowledge that before Jane’s pregnancy was revealed, Thor would have insisted he come with you.

There is no way that he would have let you go off on your own.

As he moves towards you, this time you make sure not to budge as he places his hands gently on your arms.

He cups the left side of your face, stroking your cheek with his large thumb before he makes to lean in towards you.

Instead of pulling away or making it look too obvious, you press your face in against his chest and he strokes your back as you successfully juke his kiss.

“No, don’t kiss me. I-I threw up and I haven’t brushed my teeth,” you pretend to fuss.

“You know I don’t care, cherub,” Thor nudges you back a little.

“Well, I do.”

You shake your head at him, delving deep into your soul to scrounge up whatever pieces of it you can find and give him a small pout instead.

“Alright,” Thor gives in, but he still leans down and presses his lips to your cheek and then your forehead before you’re pulling away from him to edge towards the door.

“I should go if I want to catch the next flight out,” you tell him.

“Y/N,” he calls and you stop by the door to look back at him, wishing he’d just let you go so that you can fall apart alone and away from all the eyes of the palace.

Thor clenches his hand into a tight fist, gently tapping it against the war table as you wait.

“I love you.”

You blink, give him a quick forced smile, and sigh because despite the heartache you’re drowning in, “I love you too, Thor. So much.”

As you walk away, you know that nothing will ever be the same. In a week’s time, you might not even be Queen anymore. Wouldn’t that be something?

~~~~~~~~~~

You’re given a bodyguard. Well, more like a friend who can kick serious ass. Hilde was happy to volunteer.

“Something’s up,” she observes as she escorts you into the airport gate.

Normally you’d have set up for a private plane, or Thor would have.

But he has other things on his mind.

“What do you mean?” you ask her, clearing your throat again for the fifth time since you left the palace in order to uphold the pretense of feeling sick.

“Your face is all wrong, you’re not saying something.”

“I have nothing to hide, Hilde. I’m just tired. I feel weak and beaten. I feel like I can’t catch my breath. Like I’ll crack if I’m not careful enough to hold myself together.”

All of this is true. You do feel like you’re about to crumble to pieces. Nothing you just said is a lie. You’re not hiding anything, just waiting. In a week’s time, you’ll know where you stand. And then you can tell Hilde everything.

“How long have you felt this way?” Hilde wonders, real concern painting her tone.

“Not long,” you tell her. “It just started today, actually. About two hours ago?”

“There’s something more,” she refuses to believe that you’re only sick. “It’s like you’re running from something.”

“What would I be running from, Hilde? My luxurious and comfortable life? My loving husband? My sweet and loyal people? My life is perfect. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

“I have a family. The only thing I’ve ever wanted. Why would I run from that? Unless of course, I’m being kicked out?”

Hilde fixes you with a look of complete confusion.

As you hand over your ticket to the man at the gate, you force a smile on your friend.

“If I were being kicked out, I’d run before they could get the chance to give me the boot. Then at least it was my choice and not someone forcing me to go away.”

“Why would anyone kick you out? It’s not possible, Your Majesty. You are Queen of New Asgard. Or did you forget?”

“I don’t think it’s possible for me to ever forget my time as Queen. I think I’ll remember it until the day I die.”

Hilde takes your arm, turning you to face her with subtle force, “Oi, what aren’t you telling me?”

You swallow hard, pushing your sorrow down until you can ignore it a little better.

“I’m-I’m not hiding anything, seriously. I’m just tired, Hilde. Being Queen is harder than I ever thought it could be and even though I love being married to Thor, the stresses of doing my job as Queen have reached a point where it’s boiling over.

“I just need a break...from everyone, Hilde. Even you.”

“What did I do?!” she demands, offended.

“Nothing. You’ve been one of the good parts of being Queen, but I just need a little break from Asgard as a whole. I spent my entire childhood and teenage years alone with no one to rely on me but me.

“I just need to be alone for a bit. One week. That’s all I want. So...I know that Thor won’t be happy about it but now that you’ve seen me onto the plane-”

“I am not leaving you alone,” Hilde frowns, almost angry at you for even asking.

“David is meeting me when the plane lands and then driving me home himself. I’ll be fine being alone for just the flight,” it’s a plea as much as it is a reassurance. “Please, Hilde. Please? Please?”

The higher your pitch gets, the more she breaks, turning sympathetic.

“Please, Hilde? Please?”

She growls and rolls her eyes, holding out your carryon bag--a large brown duffel bag stuffed with clothes--so that you can take it.

“Thor is going to be pissed at me,” she grumbles. “And it’s all your fault.”

You take your bag, hang it on your shoulder, and quickly pull her in to kiss her cheek.

“Thank you, Hilde. I’ll text you as soon as I land. I promise.”

“You’d better, or I’ll come find you and stick at your side like paste.”

A stewardess comes out to peek down at you and you hurry off before Hilde can change her mind.

In no time at all, you’re in your seat, the plane up and the air, and New Asgard--Thor and his annulment of your marriage--is fading fast behind you.

When you land, no one is there to meet you.

A necessary lie. You'll have to call David in the morning and let him know what's happening. He's your lawyer and if Thor goes through with his plan, you'll need to be legally ready.

You're hit with a stab of hurt that your previously loving marriage has taken such a shift.

Still, you feel bad for lying to Hilde, but when you’d said you needed your alone time, you’d meant it.

You rent a car with your own money, ignoring the shiny black credit card that Thor had given you during your honeymoon shopping trip. The last thing you need is them tracing your movements when you just want to be left alone.

The drive home is lengthy but the peace it brings you is welcome.

Four hours of no one but yourself, the music on your radio, and endless grassy hills and small town charms streaking past your windows like long lost friends.

After an hour of driving you stop at a roadside diner. You buy a bag full of fries, smear them in lines of ketchup, grab a lemonade to go, and text Hilde that you’re with David and on your way home.

After another hour, you stop again. This time at a decently sized convenience store, newly built. It's a truck stop really and you take the chance to use the bathroom then loiter by your car as you tap the screen of your phone with your thumb, waking it up over and over again. Unable to make up your mind.

Your wallpaper taunts you. A picture of you sitting between Thor’s legs on your massive bed, his arms wrapped around you as your left hand is placed to his cheek as he kisses yours, your other arm extended as you take the picture.

It’s difficult to find the courage to unlock your phone, scroll through your contacts, and press the little phone to dial Thor.

He doesn’t pick up right away.

Sadly your marriage already feels like a past life. It feels dead. Like a good dream you’ve woken up from and you just know if you try and go back to sleep to keep it going, it’ll only turn into a nightmare.

The phone rings and rings. It goes to voicemail.

It hurts. So much more than you expected it to hurt and your tears overflow leaving salty trails along your cheeks as you hiccup and try not to sob out loud.

You lean and cry against your car for the longest two minutes of your life before your phone is ringing and vibrating in your hand.

It’s Thor, and for a second, you consider not answering. You consider disappearing. Just fading into the wilderness. Abandoning your car right here. Never making it to your little house. It's so tempting in the moment to give up your throne, which will soon be taken away from you, and start your life again.

How long would they look for you? Would they eventually assume you're dead?

Still, you know that Dr. Wilson and Dr. Alric would spill the beans and if Thor knew...

You press your free hand to your stomach and know that you can’t just vanish. This life will follow you wherever you go and as painful as it is, you’re not sorry for the baby you’ve made.

You swallow your sobbing and with all of the other things you’re not allowed to feel right now or you’ll give yourself away, bury it deep down inside.

Gliding your finger across the screen, you answer the phone and press it to your ear.

“My love,” Thor gasps, sounding stressed or tired? Labored breathing.

Your mind goes to dark places and you chase away the nasty images your mind thinks up before you can let them hurt you more.

How can he still call me that?!

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer. Forgive me. I'd left my phone on my desk and I had my hands full of books.”

Your mouth won’t open. It won’t speak.

You realize all of a sudden that you don’t want to talk to Thor. You’re so angry at him. You’re hurt and betrayed and everything he’s ever told you is a lie.

“Y/N?” he sounds so confused.

“I’m here,” you manage.

“How are you feeling, cherub?”

Stop calling me that!

“I’m not great,” you sigh, sagging against the car. “I just wanted to call you to tell you that I’m with David and we’re on our way to my house. We stopped at the store to go to the bathroom, so I thought I’d call you.”

“Wait, David? Why is David with you? Where is Brunnhilde?” Thor asks, his heavy breathing still loud.

“I asked her to stay behind,” you explain. “Look, Thor I don’t really feel well enough for talking. I just didn’t want you to worry. I promised I’d call.”

“Why would she let you go alone?” Thor demands, shouting into whatever room he’s in. “Loki! Where is Brunnhilde? Get her up here!”

“I have to go, Thor. David’s waiting. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Wait. Don’t hang up yet, cherub. Do you have a doctor to see you close to home?” Thor frets, and you can’t stand it.

“I’m coming, David!” you pretend to call, the convenience store clerk currently throwing the trash looks at you then turns his head back and forth as if searching for who you might be talking to. “Bye, Thor.”

“No, wait, love. Don’t hang-”

His voice is cut off and yet his deep tone still rings in your ears as if he were standing right beside you.

Your heart cries out for him. You wish he was there with you but then your brain reminds you that your time with Thor is already over.

The clerk is still looking at you and you give him a quick shake of your head.

“Sorry,” you start. “Bad breakup.”

He nods sympathetically as you get back in your care then gives you a wave as you drive off, setting back off into the night.

You’re not driving twenty minutes before your phone dings. A text.

Then again. And again. And again. Too many texts come through and you can’t stand it.

You reach over and completely shut it off.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s midnight when you finally get up from bed.

There’s no escaping Thor even here in your own home. Your honeymoon memories are everywhere here.

The bed. The shower. The closet--Thor was eager one morning. The kitchen. The backyard. Every room has a memory. Not all of them sex, but all of them just as poignant and meaningful.

Or so you’d thought.

You wander down the hall to your kitchen, flipping the switch as you enter and make a beeline for the vintage fridge.

“Shit-” you sigh, not even opening it as you remember that there will be no food until you go shopping for some.

You take a peek, just to confirm, and all that's inside is a half empty jar of pickles on the door.

Irritated, you move towards the pantry and grab the first box of cereal you see, pop it open and plunge your hand inside.

You scoop a bit into your mouth but just as you begin to crunch, your mouth falters at the sight of Loki sitting on one of your island stools where he clearly wasn't before, a gentle smile to compliment the knowing sharpness in his eyes.

“You heard us, didn’t you?”

You try not to react to his question, because it’s not a question. Just confirmation of what he clearly already guessed.

“You’re not really here, are you?” You finish chewing, taking more cereal into your mouth after you swallow.

You’re starving. You should have bought some burgers at that diner to reheat and eat tonight and tomorrow.

“No,” Loki confirms. “I'm...checking in. Thor doesn’t know. He’s pretty oblivious, actually. Other things on his mind.”

“Like pregnant ex-girlfriends whose baby will have a stronger claim over the Asgardian throne than mine?”

There’s a bitterness in your voice but you don’t feel sorry for it. You’re not going to hide how hurt you are.

Loki’s face finally breaks as he realizes what you mean. He gives you a small startled blink before he’s got control of his expression again.

“Don’t tell him, Loki.”

“He deserves to know.”

“Does he?” you demand, voice rising in your anger. “And I don’t deserve to know about Jane being pregnant?”

“He would have told you,” Loki assures you.

“When?” You demand, eyes stinging. “When he needed my signature on the annulment papers?”

“He’s not decided on anything yet.”

“Oh, my god! As if that even fucking matters!” you get up, throwing the box of cereal into the garbage.

They’re stale.

“The point is he thinks it’s a good idea. I married him. I thought he welcomed me into his family. I thought I belonged with him, and you and Hilde and Heimdall, but I’m just some fucking guest after all, aren’t I?”

“You’re overreacting,” Loki chastises you.

You pick up a nearby mug and chuck it at him. It goes through him and breaks against the wall behind him.

“Don’t tell me that I’m overreacting when my husband is thinking about legally erasing all traces of our marriage!

"I trusted him," you reach up and jab at your own chest somewhat painfully.

"I thought what we had was worth keeping and protecting. I was already making plans to move Jane and her baby into the palace so that our kids could grow up together, as a family but he doesn’t want that.

“He doesn’t want me in his life if he’s already got another heir lined up so why should I tell him? If he doesn’t want me without this baby then he has no right wanting me with it!”

Loki lets you shout, he lets you break down. He doesn’t judge you for it either, but he reads into it. Too much, and you hate him for it.

You don't want to be reasonable. This doesn't feel like the time for reason. You're shattered.

“He loves you, Y/N. His choice is made-”

“For the child, yes. I get that. That doesn’t make it hurt any less. And maybe I shouldn’t be angry for him doing right by his baby when I’m carrying one of my own, but I am angry. It hurts to know that in moments he was able to make the choice to end our marriage.

“He’s my husband and I am his wife. Does that seriously mean nothing?”

Loki shakes his head, “I’ve already told you that he hasn’t decided anything, yet.”

“You don’t get it, and I don’t know that you can understand what even considering the option of annulment means for us as a couple.”

Loki sighs, “I want you to listen to me very clearly, Y/N. I say this with as much love as a brother can feel for his sister. You need to understand and you need to accept that you and Thor are not a normal couple. Thor is, first and foremost, a king.

“He is beholden to his people and he needs to ensure our position on this planet because we don’t have a home anymore. We are refugees and this is our home now. It is Thor’s job to protect that on behalf of all of us by any means necessary. Choices like these are the reason that my brother resisted the throne for so long.

“As a King, all of the love in the world cannot keep him from making the choices that will benefit our people, even if the choice should hurt him in the process.”

You’re shaking with tears as Loki speaks, shaking your head as you press your hand against your tummy. Your thoughts are full of the baby growing within you and the helpless feeling that presses down on you.

“That’s why this baby changes things, Y/N. You must tell him that you’re pregnant if you are going to keep him for yourself. If you want your marriage to survive this, you can’t keep this from him.”

Shaking your head, you turn away from him to fill a small glass with water and take a small drink.

Yes, you need to tell Thor that you’re pregnant. As wounded as your pride is, you can’t keep him in the dark forever.

“My Queen?” Loki urges you, calling you by your title probably to remind you that like Thor, you have obligations even if you don’t like or want them.

“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll tell him, but not yet. Just give me this week, Loki. Please.”

When you turn to look at him again, he’s softer with his gaze.

“You’re going to let him suffer for his idea of the annulment,” he guesses.

“No,” you shake your head. “This isn’t for Thor. This is for me. Just because I understand the reason he thought of an annulment doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt anymore.

“If I saw him right now, I couldn’t even talk to him, Loki. He might have betrayed me for good reasons, but he’s still betrayed me. He still accepted, even for a few moments, that giving me up was the best thing he could do.

“And maybe it’s because he’s the-the first person that I’ve ever loved, and maybe I’m still looking at our very arranged marriage with some girl’s view of romance but I can’t separate his duty from my hurt and I-I don’t know that I can ever forgive him.”

"I suppose that's fair," Loki sighs. “I won’t say anything, I promise. But I’m going to make sure that he’s here on Friday. From there, it’s your duty as mother to a future prince or princess of Asgard to tell Thor about your pregnancy.”

You move to sit next to him, giving the bits and pieces of the mug you’d thrown at him a look as you settle.

“I’m sorry I threw a cup at your head.".

Loki smirks, “Would you believe me when I tell you that it’s happened before?”

You almost smile, “Yes. I believe it.”

Loki chuckles but you can't return the sentiment. For you, the world is still ending.

“Can you do me a favor, sister?” Loki asks, his term of endearment warms you a little.

Even if Thor found it easily to cast you off, you’re happy that Loki sees you so permanently a part of his family.

“Something tells me I’m not going to be happy about it, but sure.”

“Turn on your phone,” he glances at the phone sitting at the center of the island only inches away from you where you’d left it to avoid temptation. “Thor won’t shut up about how you’re not replying. If you really want to cherish some time alone, it would be better if you answered him. If he’s worried, he can get here within the hour. I don't suppose you want that."

"No," you shudder..

"Oh, and make sure you use your black card. He’ll be checking to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself.”

You roll your eyes, the rift between you and Thor already so big you can’t see a way to fix it.

“This contradiction of Thor loving me so much he’s worried to death and his ability to decide on annulling our marriage is hard to swallow. What’s he going to do when we’re not married anymore and I’m living here and he’s married to Jane?”

“That will never happen, Y/N seeing as you’re going to tell him that you’re pregnant and he won’t go through with an annulment.” Loki insists.

“What if he does?” you wonder. “Jane’s baby was conceived first. They’ll be heir to the throne. Not mine. What if Thor decides that an annulment is still the best course of action?”

“Then I think I’ll have to reconsider my pledge to serve him as my King. But he won’t go through with it, I promise you. Trust me. I know him. Thor is too soft hearted to hurt you like that.”

“He already hurt me, Loki. It’s just the finality of a follow through that I’m waiting for.”

“You’re so eager to be abandoned,” Loki observes, frustrated with you.

“It just feels like I already have been. I’m sorry if that bothers you, but I can’t help how I feel. Haven’t you ever thought you belonged somewhere only to find out that you’re not as accepted as you thought?”

Loki thinks for a moment, his silence heavy with memory, “I have.”

“And how long did it take you to get over it?”

Loki grins, meeting your eyes with a bit of resignation.

“A long time,” he admits.

“And mine just happened today. You expect me to be over it already? Get bent, Loki.”

Loki chuckles.

“You have a point. I’m sorry, I’ve been looking at this through the lens of being my brother’s advisor. I’ll try and do better.”

His promise is genuine and it makes you feel better that you have at least one person on your side.

“Thank you, Loki,” you sigh. “I know this isn’t an easy spot for you to be in, between me and Thor. I appreciate you coming to check on me.”

“It’s my pleasure. Thor might not have noticed the way you refused to touch him when you left today but I was instantly sure that you’d heard everything. Does it bother you that he slept with her and you on the same day?”

“Not as much as I thought it would,” you admit. “Even without him explicitly saying it, I knew that he’d been with her. I knew that it was likely that he’d slept with her. They were in love. Maybe him more than her, but they didn’t break up because they wanted to. They broke up because he needed to get married and Jane wasn’t ready to do that.

“If Thor had made more of an attempt to delay our wedding, maybe Jane would have come to him sooner with her news and Thor and I would never have gotten married. I wouldn’t be pregnant, and this would all be much less messy.”

“I’m glad he didn’t wait. I’d rather have you as a sister than Jane. She’s nice but you’re much better suited to be Queen.”

“Until my King pisses me off and I run off for a week,” you tease.

“This is an exceptional situation,” Loki nods. “I don’t think if anyone else were in your shoes, they would be any less hurt than you by the news of Jane’s baby. If she is pregnant.”

You look at him, interest piqued.

“You said something like that before, that Jane should get tested to make sure she’s pregnant. What makes you think she might not be?”

“Nothing in particular. She might be. I just really don’t want her to be. I like you for Thor, Y/N. As far as I’m concerned, you’re Asgardian now.”

“I wish Thor thought like you do.”

“He does think it, Y/N. He’s just thrown off balance right now. Give him a little time and tell him about your child. His child, and it will clear up his mind. His judgement is compromised by the fact that he has an heir from the woman he once loved and the woman he now loves has had no luck in conceiving one. Or so he thinks.”

“I already told you that I’ll tell him, Loki. I just want some time.” you sigh.

“I know. We’re talking in circles. I’ll go, let you get some rest.”

You turn to watch him, slowly he begins to dissolve into slow moving golden swirls mixed with a tinge of green.

“Oh, and check your fridge again. I’ve left you a present.”

Just as quickly as he’d shown up, he’s gone.

With a heavy heart you remember the favor he asked of you and turn on your phone.

Twenty texts chime in and you quickly scroll through them.

They’re all from Thor, save for two from Hilde.

Hilde: Thanks. Be careful.

Hilde: Snitch!

All of Thor’s are variations of the same message.

Thor: Please reply, cherub.

Thor: Are you asleep?

Thor: I’m sorry if I’m waking you up.

Thor: Are you home yet?

Thor: Are you safe?

It isn’t until the last few messages that his frenzy of worry seems to change. More resigned to your lack of response. Probably believing that you are actually asleep.

Thor: I miss you already, cherub. I can’t tell you how strange it is to lay in our bed without you.

Thor: I don’t think there’s been a night since we married aside from my visit to the outposts that I have not had your perfect body pressed to mine.

Thor: My heart aches without you.

Thor: My body craves in your absence.

Thor: My soul is empty. You are my very essence now, my sweet cherub.

Thor: I hope you’re not very ill. I could not stand to lose you.

You sob, reading his texts through paints a drastic contrast between his deep voice crying for annulment and the loving, doting, sweet husband who sent you these messages.

His text voice is also so different from the way he talks. You can hear the way he might have talked to you if he hadn’t spent so much time with the Avengers and other humans here on Earth. Jane probably heard him speak like this out loud when they first met.

She’d been his first contact with this planet.

Wiping at your tears, you clutch the phone to your chest for a moment before focusing your blurry eyes on the screen again to keep reading.

Thor: I’ve never known how essential you are to my life until this moment. I need you at my side. I am most certain of it now.

Thor: I would give my life for you. I will keep you close from now on. I don’t know if I can last a week without you, my love. Don’t hate me if I come to you tomorrow.

Thor: Loki has just told me that he’s come to see that you’ve settled into your home safely. I really need him to teach me that trick. He says you need rest and that you already have a doctor coming by in the morning.

Thor: Please tell me what they say once they’ve seen you.

Thor: Loki keeps yelling at me to let you sleep.

Thor: Goodnight, cherub. I love you. More than my life.

Thor: Please text me in the morning.

Thor: It’s Loki. I’ve taken his phone. I’ll make sure he leaves you alone for the full week. Thank you for turning your phone on.

Y/N: I’m fine, Thor. Just very tired.

And because it’s true and if you don’t say it, he’ll get suspicious:

Y/N: I love you, too.

You sniffle and lock your phone.

“Jerk,” you grieve, and move to the fridge.

Opening it again, you’re surprised to find it fully stocked this time with all of your favorite foods and treats.

Loki is seriously the best brother-in-law in the universe.

#king!thor x reader #thor x reader #royal au #arranged marriage au #a wife for thor #king!thor x reader fic #king!thor x reader fanfic #king!thor x reader fanfiction #king!thor x you #thor x reader fanfiction #thor x reader fanfic #thor x reader fic #thor x you #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #a wife for thor pt18 #loki #loki laufeyson

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Lost & Found (Yunho/Pirate au!/smut)

Ateez Masterlist                                                     Group Masterlist

Tag list: @wooyoungiesdaisy​ @brrrrpolar @224-12​ @pancakes-for-teddy​ @wannatinyus​ @amultislifeforme​

Pirate!Yunho + fem!pirate! reader

Story Tags: Pirate au! Friends to lovers au! kidnapping, Aged up Ateez (slightly other members) cursing, fighting, explosions, directed by michael bay, smut, kinda angsty, mentions of a brothel, explicit language

Smut Tags: Fondling, male oral receiving, female oral receiving, fingering, slightly dom! Yunho (kinda), unprotected sex  👉👈

Word count: 10699 (she’s very long) 

A/N: I think we know by now that I have a too much gene and can’t write short stories. 

“Get back here!” His voice rang from behind you as you ran. You couldn’t help but laugh as you dodged the working crew members. The sound of his boots on the wood close behind you. “Watch out.” One of the crew members grumbled as you zoomed past him, barely missing him. 

You couldn’t help but laugh and look behind you, Yunho hot on your tail. Only for your foot to get caught on some rope and for you to go flying into the wooden deck. “I got you now!” He yelled, staddling your waist as you laid on the floor. He was laughing and you were too. It was such a relief to have someone like him to hang out with. 

Yunho’s fingers tickled over your sides and you squirmed around trying to avoid them before letting out a deep sigh. “Fine. I surrender.” You said, raising your hands and revealing what he was chasing you for in the first place. 

“The ship would be in shambles if you two were left in charge.” Your father’s voice boomed from the deck behind you both. “She stole my apple.” Yunho explained, taking the fruit from your hands and taking a bite. “Sorry captain, for the ruckus.” Yunho said, still sitting on you. Kicking your legs and squirming, you tried to push him off of you but to no avail. 

Yunho enjoyed it too much really. He thought you were ridiculously cute and just loved teasing you so much. He was the second youngest on the ship, it was just nice to have you there too. 

“Big arse, get off of me.” You stuttered, shoving the older male slightly. You both got up off the floor of the deck and your father laughed at how disheveled you looked. Yunho blinked innocently, munching on his apple as your father dusted you off. 

“Sometimes you two remind me of your mother and I when we first met.” Your father said and pinched your cheeks. “All this teasing just because you like eachother. So funny.” Your father said softly and both of your eyes went wide. “I don’t like him!” You said and pouted, looking at Yunho with disgust all to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. 

“I don’t like her either.” Yunho said with a small laugh, looking at your face. He was head over heels for you, but judging by your face you really didn’t need to know that. 

“Whatever you say.... Yunho when you’re done with that apple Seonghwa could use some help below deck.” Your father said and Yunho nodded. “Yes, captain.” He nodded and left the deck. You watched him walk away and crossed your arms over your chest. 

You did like him, you liked him alot. Ever since your father had brought him on board of the “Desire” you had been inseperable. He was your best friend and even if you didn’t want to admit it, you might have even loved him. 

“One day, you two will look back on this and say: He was right.” Your father said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Maybe, but not right now.” You said and turned to him. 

Your father may have been a pirate, but he never left you wanting for a thing. He taught you how to read, write, how to take care of yourself and protect yourself. Regardless of the situation, your father did his best with what the cards had dealt him. 

You walked below deck as the night fell, seeing Seonghwa and Yunho pushing crates around and stacking them. “I’ll help from here, Seonghwa. You go grab some dinner.” You said and the older male smiled at you. “Alright.” 

Talking to your father made you realise how silly you both were being. You liked him and you thought he might like you too. Even if he didn’t, things really couldn’t get awkward between you two. Where was he going to go to avoid you? You were in the middle of the ocean. 

“Why are you helping me?” Yunho asked, raising his eyebrow. “Because I can. Don’t act like I do nothing around here.” You said and helped him push a crate into a corner. “No you do a lot. But I thought you didn’t like me?” He teased, leaning against a wall and looking at you. Perching yourself on top of the crate, you kicked out your legs back and forth. You were nervous. 

“You know that’s not true.” You said softly and Yunho perked up. Was this happening? 

“You know I like you. You know I like you a lot.” Your fingers fiddled with the hem of your shirt. The atmosphere in the room was warm, maybe because the only light in the room came from a small oil lamp hanging above your heads. Finally looking up, you could see Yunho’s eyes sparkling. 

“I like you too. I like you a lot.” He said softly, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. He had never done this before. Coming closer to you, Yunho grabbed one of your hands. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could feel his ears burning red.

You looked at eachother, just simply watched eachother. Taking in eachother’s features mainly because you were both too painfully awkward to say something. It was just you two and the sound of the waves outside. 

Until it wasn’t. The sounds of gunshots and canons quickly filled the air and you and Yunho let go of eachother. “What was that?” You asked, pushing off of the crate and heading towards the stairs. “I have no idea.” The male said, grabbing your hand and following you out onto the deck. 

There was a ship next the “Desire” and planks connecting the two. The crew was fighting the intruders, the sound of guns, canons and swords filling the air. You could see your father fighting and Yunho instinctively pulled you back slightly. 

You both drew your swords, not knowing what to do but knowing that just standing there was more dangerous. 

Arms wrapped around your waist and knocked your sword out of your hand. Panic swallowed up your body and you started to kick, scream and shake at the same time. The culprit’s face was covered, all of their faces were covered. The enemy wasn’t identifiable, not even by the black sails on their ship. 

Yunho turned to see you being pulled away, and started panicking himself. “Y/N!” He yelled, garnering your father’s attention from the other side of the deck. Yunho ran pushing people out of the way as you continued to fight your agressor. You didn’t realise it until it was too late but the man was dragging you to the plank connecting the ships. 

“YUNHO!” You screamed, still trying to reach out to him or to anyone that could help you. You weren’t winning, he was a lot stronger than you. Yunho was so close, your outstretched hand being centimeters away from his. Your father was close behind 

However your heart stopped, watching another masked figure grab Yunho and drive his sword into his stomach. You couldn’t remember if you screamed, you couldn’t remember if you cried out or if your body gave out watching him fall to the deck practically lifeless. 

But before you knew it, you were on their ship and the planks had fallen into the ocean and disconnecting the two ships. Thrown to the floor of the deck. You were numb, speechless, scared and heartbroken. You had been stripped of everything you knew in a matter of minutes. 

- 5 years later- 

Surely you were going to die. This was it, you were sure of it. You could practically feel the ship breaking apart around you. But you weren’t scared, you had been living a life of misery and if it was your time to go, you were ready. 

Or so you thought, but the second a canonball tore through the wood a few feet from where you were standing, your fight or flight senses took over. You weren’t even thinking as you ran onto the deck, your senses being filled with yells, screams, the waves and the canons. Your captors were incredibly preoccupied, not noticing your scrambling onto the deck in hopes of finding a way to survive this. 

Captain Richards was warned by his crew that these waters were dangerous, ships appearing and disappearing in the middle of the night all supposedly looking for the same thing. Utopia. 

But he disregarded them, claiming ‘he knew what he was doing’ and that ‘if they disagreed so much, going overboard was their other option’ you only heard about the journey ahead because of his crewmates being below deck and bickering over it. You were wishing the evil Captain would have had enough sense to listen to his crew, now you might actually die because of it. 

Splinters were flying around you as you tried finding a way out, but you were in the middle of the ocean and being shot at. Your choices were slim and you knew this was probably the end. 

You paused for a moment, feeling the deck underneath you starting to rip apart. Coupled with the screams of crew mates, you felt yourself start to fall and yet all you could think about was your father, Yunho and the crew that was your family. 

Oh Yunho, sweet, sweet Yunho. If everything would’ve stayed the same, that could’ve become something. But you were almost 100% sure he was dead and the thought that you would see him soon after you passed comforted you as you hit the cold, black water. 

“Y/N? Y/N.” His voice filled your ears and boy, did you miss that voice. “Yunho?” You could hear him, but you couldn’t see him. You couldn’t see anything except for black and you couldn’t feel anything except for the water in your lungs. “Yunho?” You called out again, feeling an intense pressure on your chest. “Yunho?!” You were yelling but you weren’t sure if any sound was coming out. 

Were you alive? You absolutely could not tell. You only felt panic as you felt yourself the pressure in your chest becoming unbarable and your mind slowly starting to shut down. 

Until it felt like a thousand point weight was lifted off of you, a loud gasp coming from your lungs as you coughed out water onto a wooden deck... a wooden deck? 

Your vision was blurry, the edges of your sight laced with black as you turned your head slowly. It felt like your body weighed a ton, your actions being in slow motion as you held onto the deck for dear life. Blinking furiously and trying to get a grip on the fact that you were as a matter of fact, not dead. 

You finally lifted your head, trying to gather your surroundings only to be greeted by sparkling eyes. Horribly familiar, horribly beautiful eyes that surely meant you were dead. “Yunho?” Your voice was weak before your arms gave out and your eyes shut once more. You were definitely dead, there was no other explanation. 

Yunho stared at your lifeless body on the deck, completely frozen. He couldn’t bring himself to move, he almost forgot to breathe. He only remembered to breathe whenever he watched you cough up a large amount of seawater, thanks to Seonghwa’s help. Yunho was too shocked to do anything, then the shock turned to pure fear that you might have been dead. 

“Yunho?” Your voice made him shudder as he looked at you, eyes locking for a moment. You looked dazed and confused, hair sticking to your face and your clothes soaking wet. You looked so scared and it broke his heart. But then you collapsed again, any strength that you had managed to gather disappearing. 

“Y/N’s body temperature is really low.” Seonghwa commented, grabbing your limp hand to feel your temperature. It took Yunho a moment to shake everything off and he looked at around to his crew. “Salvage anything possibly of use from the water, Mingi once that’s done change course and get us out of these waters. I don’t trust them.” Yunho started giving everyone orders, moving to the practically lifeless body on his deck. 

He scooped you up effortlessly, feeling just how cold your body was against his and needing to hold back his emotions. “Seonghwa, come with me.” Yunho said, walking towards the door that lead below deck and his chambers. 

“Who is that?” Wooyoung asked, watching his captain walk below deck with the woman in his arms. “Captain Y/L/N’s daughter.” Mingi responded and the younger male’s eyes went wide. Some of the crew joined after the attack, only knowing about you through stories told by Yunho and your father. You were a legend, a legend everyone thought was dead.

“We have to get these wet clothes off and wrap her up in blankets.” Seonghwa explained as Yunho laid you down on his bed. He looked at Seonghwa with wide eyes. Seonghwa was still his hyung even though he was captain and in moments like this, he was filled with fear and need his hyung. 

Quickly, the two made work of your wet clothes, avoiding looking at your body as much as they could and instantly wrapping you in the blankets on his bed. He attempted drying your hair to the best of his ability and also under the watchfull eyes of Seonghwa, who was grabbing more blankets to keep you warm. 

“How is she not dead?” Yunho asked, completely befuddled as to how you were still alive, 5 years later. “She’s always been strong. But I have to admit, I thought she was dead too.” Seonghwa admitted softly, feeling your pulse on your neck. “Her pulse is already stronger, I think we might have acted fast enough.” He added on and his words were calming to Yunho. 

Yunho sat next to you on the bed, just looking at your face. You hadn’t changed much, well you had gotten older but so had he. Even if in that moment he didn’t feel like it. He felt like he was seventeen again and everything was normal, like your dad was still around and you didn’t disappear for 5 years. But that wasn’t the case and Yunho was now the captain and you were slowly coming back from the dead. 

“I should stay down here, with her. If she wakes up, you know.” Yunho said, looking at Seonghwa. He nodded his head in understanding, he knew Yunho loved you. Even when he was seventeen it was obvious, he wasn’t going to stop him from being with you now. 

“You want me to take care of things on top?” Seonghwa asked and Yunho nodded. “Please.” His voice was barely a whisper, but Seonghwa understood and left. Yunho was racking his brain as to how he was going to tell you everything when you woke up, because he absolutely knew you would, you had too. 

But it had been a few hours and he was starting to lose hope, tearing himself away from you to walk out onto the deck. “Is she up?” Seonghwa asked, watching the taller male walk from below deck. “No, not yet. I just couldn’t sit there any longer.” Yunho shook his head leaning on the railing and taking his head into his hands. The sky had turned dark amidst the chaos, telling Yunho just how long of a day it had already been. “If she doesn’t wake up soon, I don’t think she will.” Those weren’t words anyone wanted to hear. 

Your body was filled with an overwhelming sense of warmth, you weren’t dead, this couldn’t be what death felt like. No, it couldn’t be. Heaven or hell wouldn’t be the smell of seawater and the sound of wood creaking filling your ears. There was a flickering light as you opened your eyes slowly, one you knew all too well from spending time under decks. No, you weren’t dead. 

Blinking slowly, you allowed your eyes to adjust to the light and sat up slowly. A sudden rush to your head made you lay back down a moment. “You did almost die. Maybe you should take it easy.” You said softly, throat sore from your previous gasping for air. You sat up again, even slower than before and looked around the room. Holding the blankets wrapped around your body tightly as you did so. 

This was familiar, the quarters you were in. They were very familiar, comforting almost. This was your fathers’ ship, this was the ‘Desire’. But it couldn’t be... could it? 

You whipped your head around, looking towards where you knew your old room would be if it was and low and behold. There was the door to your old quarters, the little sign your father had made for you with your name carved into the wood. Tears couldn’t help but pool in the corner of your eyes, you were finally home. 

You scrambled out of the bed, feeling a sudden rush of energy and adrenaline. You had to go find your father, you had too. It had been 5 years and they must’ve thought you were dead. Wait, did that mean that you really did see Yunho. Or was that in the inbetween, the space between life and death?

You had so many questions and so many uncertainties. Priority number one was to find your father. So you pushed yourself off of the bed, stabilizing yourself as the blood rushed to your head. The blanket that was wrapped around you now laying on the floor as you pulled your slightly damp clothes back on. You tried clearing your throat but it burned immensly from the water inhalation, making you cringe. 

‘The Desire’ was your childhood. You knew the ship like the back of your hand, even if it had been 5 years. You instantly found yourself climbing the stairs leading to the door to the deck. Maybe you shouldn’t have rushed yourself to move so quickly but, your family, you were home. Weakly, you pushed the door open and took in the fresh air and dark blue sky. 

Yunho heard the deck door open and turned his head around. Low and behold there you stood, holding onto the door for support because it felt like your legs were going to give out at any moment. He couldn’t reach you fast enough, running over the deck to take you into his arms before you could fall. You had strained yourself entirely too much since you had woken up, your body wasn’t ready for any of it. 

You were sure Yunho was a hallucination when you saw him prior, but now holding him, feeling the warmth of his skin and seeing the glitter in his eye, you were aware that he was very much real. 

“I thought you were dead.” Your voice was scratchy, cracking as your emotions took over too. “I could say the same thing.” Yunho laughed, holding you against his chest. “The last thing I saw that night was a blade going through your stomach.” Tears were spilling now as your scratchy words came out. “Shh, it’s okay we’ll talk more once you’re a bit better.” He said, still simply holding you. 

His voice was comforting, it reminded you of home. The ship was comforting, it was your home. 

“Where’s my father?” You asked, allowing Yunho to put you back on your feet and his arm wrapped around your waist for support. Glancing around the deck, you recognized a few familiar faces but not the one you were most excited to see. “Where is he?” You asked again, looking at Yunho. He was avoiding your gaze, but he found it hard to look at you in this state: injured and upset. Especially after having just gotten you back. 

How was Yunho supposed to tell you that your father had died looking for you, or that he had gone half mad doing it? 

“Yunho?” Your scratchy voice brought him back to reality. “Come on let’s get you warmed up again. I’ll explain things.” Yunho pulled you back below deck, your feet barely touching the ground as he supported all of your weight. 

You took the moment to really look at him, as he rushed around the quarters to keep you warm. He’d gotten taller, alot taller. Yunho was always taller than you but now it was quite prominent. His shoulders were wider now too, a lot more muscular than what he used to be. He had aged well, he was handsome. 

Burrying deeper into the blankets, you relished in the warmth and watched as he sat down next to you. It took him a moment to look at you, but eventually he looked up. Sparkly eyes not having changed once in the 5 years you hadn’t seen him. He swallowed thickly, fiddling with the blanket between his fingers. Yunho was trying his best to avoid telling you, even if he knew you should know. He wanted to spare you the pain. 

“The night you were taken, the captain found me on the deck. I was pretty sure I was dead already. Felt like the whole world was going dark.” Yunho started to explain and you thought back to the pain you felt, thinking that he had died. “Seonghwa somehow, managed to patch me up all in the mean time your father was doing anything and everything to try and find you. Every waking second spent trying to find the ship with the black sails that comes and goes like a ghost in the night.” His voice faltered talking about it all and well you weren’t dumb. You just needed to hear him say it.

“He was so convinced you were alive. I feel so bad that we didn’t believe him, but we humored him and helped him look. Catching odd jobs every now and then to get by.” You sat up, placing your hand on his for comfort. Even though you were gone for 5 years, it seemed like the crew of the ‘desire’ didn’t have it easy either. 

“Your father got sick, really sick. He always used to say ‘Of all the things to take me out, I never thought it would be an illness’” Yunho squeezed your hand and you felt yourself starting to tear up, so much had changed. “Your father passed away 2 years ago and left the ship to me, making me the new captain.” The tears fell at his words, one of the few things that kept you alive all those years was the thought of seeing your father again. 

“He never stopped looking for you.” Yunho finally looked at you, hating to see the tears rolling down your cheeks and you cold hand holding his. He lifted your hand, rubbing it to warm it up. “I’m so sorry we didn’t believe him.” You could hear all the remorse in his voice, remorse for not believing your father, remorse towards his passing, it was hard to hear. 

“It’s alright, Yunho.” You wiped your tears away quickly and he grabbed your other hand to try to warm them up. He ignored your words, blowing warm air onto your hands and continuing to rub them. “I’ll go get you something warm to eat.” Yunho needed to get out, for his own emotions sake, he was a captain now and he needed to be strong. “No, don’t leave. Please.” You whispered, gripping his hands as tightly as you could. 

He hadn’t even realised that a tear had slipped until he looked at you, weak, tired and sad. “Okay, okay.” Yunho nodded, kicking his boots off and moving to lay next to you in his bed but on top of the sheets. Your cold fingers reached out and wiped his tears away, heart breaking for him and yourself. If there was any time for self pity, it was now. 

The feeling of him laying next to you warmed you up almost instantly, making you curl into him even more and revelling in the feeling of being home. “Relax, you’re home now. You’re safe. We finally have you back and we aren’t letting you go anywhere.” You burried your face into his chest at his words, knowing they were true and let your body relax to slowly fall asleep. 

It wasn’t Yunho’s intention to fall asleep with you, but he couldn’t help it. The day’s emotions had gotten to him and naturally had exhausted him. But he did wake up again with a start and a panic filled chest. It must’ve been the dream he was having, or maybe it was the fact that you weren’t next to him anymore and not anywhere in his room. 

Did he dream up that you were back?

Pushing himself off of the bed, he rushed out of the room and onto the deck. He wasn’t sure if you were real anymore and needed that confirmation for his own sake. 

However that confirmation came quickly as he found you sitting on the stairs, eating some soup and laughing with Mingi and Wooyoung. That panic in his chest subsiding at the scene and allowing himself te release the breath he was holding. 

“She came out this morning, claiming your snoring woke her up along with her stomach growling. Seems her personality hasn’t changed much.” Seonghwa laughed and Yunho smiled. “That’s a relief.” Was all he could say before turning to finally look at Seonghwa. “You should’ve woken me up.” He added and Seonghwa shook his head. “Y/N told me not too, that you seemed tired the night before. I figured since she’s the captain’s daughter, I should listen.” Seonghwa had a point to that and it was something that Yunho hadn’t thought about before. 

He knew that if you were never taken, you would now be captain. Your father was always training you to become the captain and it was purely circumstancial that Yunho was the captain now. It was only right in his mind that you should be the captain now. 

You smiled as you noticed Yunho approaching you three and you wiped your lips from the soup remnants. “Goodmorning, sleeping beauty.” You joked and Yunho instantly sighed. “Your sense of humor hasn’t changed at all.” He sounded annoyed, but he was relieved, your traumatic experiences didn’t seem to dampen your spirit. He wished he could say the same. 

“Anyways, Captain what’s your first order?” Yunho asked, causing confused looks from you, Seonghwa, Mingi and Wooyoung to be shot his way. “I’m sorry, what?” You asked, not understanding if this was a joke or not. “You heard me. You were the captain’s daughter, he always wanted you to be captain. Now you’re here.” Yunho stated and you felt an odd pit in your stomach. It had been years since being mentioned as possible captain had happened and now Yunho was simply giving you the position. 

“I-I-” You stuttered and Yunho looked at you, deadly serious. “Yunho, he made you captain.” You started, Wooyoung and Mingi excusing themselves from your conversation with Seonghwa following suit. “I know he made me captain. But he wanted to make you captain, you know that.” He explained and you shook your head. “Those things don’t matter. They stopped mattering the second I was taken off this ship. My father, loved you. He wanted you to be captain for a reason. Besides, the crew knows you, they trust you and they obviously follow you as a captain.” You paused, looking at him and making sure to look into his eyes. You needed him to know you meant this, because your desire to be captain was so low it was practically non-existent. 

“You’re the captain, you should stay the captain. I will be on the sidelines and help where I can, but I have no desire to be captain.” Yunho felt slightly reassured at your words or maybe it was your expression, either way he felt better. 

“I missed you.” Yunho said after a long a pause, but now he was looking at the ocean. He found it hard to look you in the eyes to tell you things weighing on his mind. 

You looked at his face, really taking the moment to take it in. Age had been kind to Yunho, turning him from the boy you knew into a man. His jaw was more defined, his shoulders were wider and he was definitely taller, even more attractive than he was 5 years ago. Maybe that was because you were both grown up. 

“I missed you too.” You said back, tucking your knees under your chin and wrapping your arms around your legs. You meant it, you cried for a week thinking that Yunho was dead and all because he was trying to save you. It was a guilt that you had carried with yourself for years and that was wiped away the day prior. 

“Well captain, where are we headed?” You asked and he finally looked at you again. “We are headed to port. However, you should be resting your body faced a lot of trauma in the last 48 hours.” You sighed at his words, but you knew he was right. “I’ll rest until we reach port then, but I haven’t been on land in 5 years. I’d like to go.” You compromised and Yunho looked down at the wooden deck, you were as stubborn as ever. 

“Fine. We need to get a few things, food supply has been running low. Need to stock up.” He explained and you smiled. “Sounds quite honest for a pirate.” You remarked and he shook his head with a smile. “I never really was good at attacking others.” He explained and you couldn’t help but smile too. You hadn’t smiled this much in so long, your cheeks were starting to hurt. 

“An honest pirate. What are the odds?” You remarked to yourself and stood up from your spot on the stairs. “I won’t do any work then, because you don’t want me too. But I will stay on deck and watch, to remember what it’s like to be home again.” You brushed past him, making sure to pat his back as you did. Yunho watched you walk away and towards Mingi who was by the helm, steering the ship. 

There was already such a difference from the way you looked yesterday and the way you looked now. With your hair blowing in the wind and the smile on your face, you looked just as beautiful as you did 5 years ago and it made Yunho weak in the knees. 

It took a few days for the ‘Desire’ to reach port, pulling it’s very obvious pirate sail down once they reach the horizon of the island. There was no need to alarm people, not when you were there to do honest work. 

In the meantime you tried to abide by what Yunho had asked, for you to rest. But it was sure proving to be difficult, you hated feeling useless. Yet you still tried to help out, marking inventory, charting routes, trying to get your sea legs back to the best of your ability. You did all this while trying not to get caught by Yunho and failing. 

If it was the you from 5 years ago, you wouldn’t have listened to him. But things had changed, the captain role suited him well and he had an air of authority to him, you couldn’t help but listen when he scolded you. Yunho had even insisted you take the captain’s quarters, knowing they gifted more privacy than the crew’s quarters, much to your dismay. A captain needed that privacy, not you. But you had lost the argument with him and slept in his bed while he lay in a hammock way below deck. 

“Ahh.” Yunho hissed, stretching out and feeling his joints cracking. You shook your head at his noises, knowing they were because of the hammock. “I told you to take the bed, but you insisted. You can still have it, I don’t mind.” You said and he shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t feel right.” Yunho said as the island came larger and larger into view. “Yes it would. Especially for your back.” You retorted and he sighed. “You still argue too much.” “That’s besides the fact. How long are we staying here?” You asked, feeling excited to be so close to land again. 

Yunho could see the excitement in your eyes and the little excited bounce in your step as you walked over to the railing to look at the island. He followed you after telling Seonghwa to prepare things to anchor. 

“5 years of not being on land. I would’ve gone insane.” He remarked, standing directly next to you with his side pressing into you. He wasn’t wrong, you were on the verge of going insane when your captor’s ship was blown to bits. “This is going to sound insensitive...” Yunho started and craned your head to look up at him, preparing for his question. However, he couldn’t help but pause and take in the way you looked at him.

“But why did they keep you around... for 5 years? It’s something I’ve been thinking about since we found you.” His question wasn’t insensitive, it was something you wondered too. It was something you had asked your captor’s almost everyday, but you had only gotten the answer recently. 

“I asked the Captain, almost everyday why he took me and he wouldn’t respond. But the sea was slowly starting to drive him mad and he finally told me.” You paused, smiling softly to reassure Yunho you were okay speaking about it. “He said he took me because of how close my father and I were. That meant I must’ve known the info he did. But dad never told me about the Aurora and well, the Captain didn’t know that.” Yunho’s ears perked up at the mention of the Aurora. The Aurora was a myth, or so he was told. 

“And then he wanted to use me as bargaining, for information. But that got postponed and postponed, new things, new adventures for him and his crew. So the deals never happened.” You stopped, making sure Yunho was still listening and well he was, intently. He wanted to make sure no one hand physically hurt you more than he was already aware of. The memory of the stuff you had went through wasn’t good, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as what people would of thought, you were treated more as a servant than a prisoner and you were kept fed. Judging by stories your father had told you, you could have had it way worse. 

“Secretly I think he just liked having me around.” You joked, you were never one to wallow in self pity long. Yunho sighed, looking down to the ground being very obviously deep in thought. You extended your hand to cup his cheek, making him look back up at you. “I’m alright, despite everything, I’m alright.” You reassured and he simply nodded his head, nestling his face further into your hands. 

The moment was endearing, sparking something in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time... butterflies. 

“Anchor’s down and we are docked, Captain.” Mingi came by to say, ruining the moment slightly and snapping Yunho back down to Earth. “Right, we docked. Uh, supplies we need to get.” He pulled away from you, walking to the other end of the deck to try and get some things ready. You sighed, leaning back onto the railing of the ship. You were happy to be on land, but you were quite enjoying holding him. 

Yunho walked down from his ship and onto the dock, nodding at some of the royal guard shaking all suspicions that the ‘Desire’ was a pirate ship. “It costs 10 silvers to dock.” A man registering the coming and going ships remarked, looking Yunho up and down. Yunho was young for a captain, people always underestimated him or thought less of him because of it. 

“Here.” Yunho dropped the coins onto the mans registery before going to walk off. “My legs feel all shaky being on land again. So don’t mind me.” You said and grabbed onto Yunho’s arm for support. It seemed like your sea legs were fine, your land legs were the ones that needed work. Yunho laughed, allowing you to link your arm with his and he guided you towards the market. 

Half of the crew stayed behind, guarding the ship and to come up with excuses should the royal guards feel the sudden need to investigate ships. The other half wandered around town with the money they had made or better to say looted. 

But Yunho didn’t want you to wander far from him and in reality, you didn’t want to be far from him either. The feelings you remembered having 5 years prior were very much coming back. Something you always thought was a stupid little teenage crush was definitely not the case anymore. Yunho became a man, a man you loved. 

You stayed by him as he bartered, laughing at the chortle the farmer gave him at his suggested price and making Yunho sigh. “Fine.” He sighed, slipping the man a few coppers and telling him to place the crates by the ship. 

The last few days you had spent observing him in his position as captain, well admiring more. He was a just and kind captain, something that you didn’t see often and well definitely not in pirates. It was a rare quality your father had too and it seemed he taught Yunho well.

Even now, you couldn’t help but watch him as he conducted business. It seemed like everyone liked him and the way he held himself. It was entirely fascinating and well it seemed it wasn’t just that way to you. He was catching the eyes of alot of women, be it the daughters of the farmers he bartered with or the ladies standing outside of the local brothel. You absolutely hated it, but you didn’t own Yunho in any way or form. However this just further justified that he had grown up incredibly well. 

“Captain, you aren’t joining?” You heard Wooyoung call from a window as you walked through the dark street. Night was about to fall and it seemed the crew members were indulging in a night with the local brothel’s prospects. You really couldn’t blame them, they were at sea for months at a time and they needed to get rid of their frustrations... of any sort. 

You glanced at Wooyoung, not being able to help yourself but stare at the woman who was kissing down his neck. “I’ll sit this one out.” Yunho called back and Wooyoung laughed. You remained quiet, it was his choice if he wanted to stay and indulge. It would hurt if he decided to, but that was his choice. He was a captain after all, he must’ve been stressed. 

“You’re funny, come on Captain.” Wooyoung taunted, one of the girls coming out of the building’s entrance and leaning against the door frame. She was beautiful with dark hair and golden sunkissed skin, there was no question and even you were tempted, let alone Yunho. 

“I’m not holding you back. If you want too, go ahead.” You said and Yunho looked at you in surprise. Was he tempted? Only slightly, but you telling him to go made him second guess things. Part of him wanted you to tell him not too because it meant you might have still had feelings for him or at least that they were rekindled in the past few days. 

“I was planning on going to bed on time anyways, today cost a bit more energy than I anticipated.” You lied, but you meant that you wanted him to have a good time. Yunho fumbled with his fingers and for a split moment, he looked like his 17 year old self. He mentally debated for a moment and decided to go inside. 

You had only been back a few days, there was no way your feelings were there. Or so Yunho thought as he watched you head in the direction of the docks and the hand of the girl ran over his back. “Captain was it?” Her voice was soft in his ears as he ridirected his attention to her, nodding. “Tell me some of your stories then, Captain.” She smiled, pulling him into the brothel by the fabric of his jacket. 

It hurt your heart when he entered the brothel, even more when you saw her hand on his back but you let it go, he had made his choice and you had made yours. 

“Where’s the rest?” Seonghwa asked as you appeared on deck. You scoffed at his question and sat yourself down on one of the barrels of grain that you had bought that afternoon. “I’m assuming balls deep in some girls and boys from the brothel.” You stated and Seonghwa was taken back for a moment. “Sorry, I- nevermind.” You started but finished just as quickly, letting your emotions speak for you. 

“So Yunho is also partaking in this.” You don’t know how Seonghwa ended up being so wise and the person you’d go to when you needed to talk, but he did and you appreciated him for it. “Yes, Yunho is also partaking in this. I told him he should. Being captain must be... stressfull.” You could understand, you had needs. It was just, you would rather deal with his stress... with him. 

“Your father always knew you liked him and well he had a hunch that Yunho liked you too.” Seonghwa laughed and you shrugged. Your father was always right, you missed him for it. 

“That day, that day that I was taken I told Yunho how I felt. He told me he felt the same and then all Hell broke loose. Seemed almost like fate was intervening.” You chuckled and played with the hem of your shirt. “I got kidnapped and Yunho almost died.” You found it almost comical, how your lives could’ve taken such a turn. 

“Yeah, it seems that way almost. But you made your way back and Yunho lived. Two things that seemed impossible happened.” Seonghwa leaned against the barrels as well and looked up at the stars. He wasn’t wrong, not at all. If you love something you have to let it go. If it was meant to be, it would come back to you and well you had managed to come back together. 

“I haven’t said it yet since I’ve been back, but I missed you too Seonghwa. You always listened.” You hopped off the barrel as you spoke. “The crew missed having you around too and well,  I missed having the ship’s princess here.” Seonghwa laughed, placing a hand on your arm. You leaned into his touch slightly and then pulled away. “I’m going to go to bed, however. To sit in my anger alone.” You joked, heading towards the captain’s quarters. “Don’t sit in anger too long. Anger and the sea don’t mix well.” He called after you, making you simply smile as you disappeared below deck. 

You were angry, angry at yourself for telling him to go but also angry that he chose to go. You let out a disgruntled sigh as you undid the ties on your boots, kicking them off before working to undo the ties around the collar of your blouse. 

As you did so, the door to the captain’s quarters flew open. The sudden rush of air and the sound made you jump up, clutching your chest as you looked at who it was. 

“Yunho?” You asked, looking at him and holding the top of your blouse shut. He looked disgruntled, hair tousled and chest rising and falling deeply. “How could you let me go?” He asked, taking you back immensly. “I’m sorry? How could I let you go? You’re a grown man, you made that choice.” You were almost laughing, his actions were most definitely his choice. “I know and it was stupid but how could let me go?” He sighed, running his figners through his hair. “It didn’t take much convincing. The girl was absolutely gorgeous, I don’t blame you. Besides everyone has needs.” You explained, looking at him with a confused expression. 

“Was she not good?” You asked still thoroughly in the dark of why he was upset. “I was in there for half an hour, drinking an ale and the whole time while she tried to... I was thinking about you, so I left.” You were frozen at his words, your hands falling from your blouse to your sides. Yunho was scared, this confession was different from the one 5 years ago. This was real, this wasn’t a crush. This was a mix of lust and love. 

“Was I dumb to think you felt the same? Because you telling me to go in there told me you don’t.” Yunho questioned your silence and tried to avert his eyes from the cleavage that was now very much out. You took a deep breath, not allowing yourself to think too much about your actions as you did them. 

Stepping forward, you placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him to your level. His lips pressing against yours roughly as you did so, but you really didn’t care. This was years of pining and being concerned of each other wrapped into one kiss. 

Yunho didn’t need to think twice in kissing you back, hands coming up to cup your cheeks as he did so. He pressed his lips against yours even harder, feeling your fingers tangling into his hair. 

You could taste the ale slightly on his tongue as it dipped into your mouth, making you smile. “You taste like ale.” You mumbled against his lips only for him to shake his head. “You either talk too much or too less.” He replied in response, leaning down to grip your thighs and lifting you in the process. “What am I doing now?” You asked, arms wrapping around his neck. You couldn’t help but tease a little, especially with the way he was looking at you. “Definitely talking too much.” He said and kissed you again, even more feverishly than before. 

Your legs wrapped around his waist as his hands moved to your ass, holding you up effortlessly. He gave you a squeeze and revelled in the way you hummed against his lips. Your hand caressed his cheek and you pulled your lips away from his for a moment, just so you could look at him and take him in. His eyes sparkled in the light from the candles and they were a significantly darker than usual while looking at you. 

He walked you backwards, a small smile playing on his lips as he did so. Yunho was doing the exact same thing, taking you in. The way your lips were soft under his, the way your chest rose and fell as you tried to catch your breath and the way your skin looked golden under the light of the candles. He took it all in because as fate had shown before, he didn’t know when it could be taken all away again. 

Yunho dropped you onto the bed, maybe a little rougher than he intended too but you didn’t mind. Especially not as he slipped between your legs and hovered over you, still standing as you sat in front of him on the bed. He leaned down, hand holding your neck as he kissed you again. Tongue swiping over your lips as you tried pulling him further down to your level. The hand on your neck moved down slightly, tracing the skin that was revealed from your blouse and down your chest. He grabbed your breast throught the fabric, kneading softly as you whimpered against his lips. 

“Take it off.” He told you, hardly pulling his lips away from yours as he did. The demand sent goosebumps over your body and the dominance he was radiating made your core ache. Your fingers found the hem of your blouse, not wasting too much time in taking it off. Yunho helped you, grabbing the thin fabric and pulling it off of you to reveal your bare chest. 

His lips instantly attached the newly revealed skin and his hands cupped your breasts, massaging them a little harsher than before. Your mouth fell open at the feeling of his lips all over your chest, leaving marks where he could and simply because he wanted too. This was his new favorite feeling, the feeling of you under him and his lips on you. 

“You’re so soft.” He mumbled against your skin and sinking down to his knees. Yunho was now practically the same height as you as you sat on his bed. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling your chest nearly flush against his face. His tongue ran over your nipples gently before allowing his lips to wrap around it, sucking softly as your fingers carded through his hair. You were a whimpering mess under his mouth and you could tell he was only just starting. 

“Yunho-” You moaned, starting to tug on his blouse. You just wanted to feel his skin on yours. He took his lips off of you with a chuckle. “How about you take it off now?” You asked, your hand tilting his chin up to look at you. This was such a sight, Yunho sitting between your legs and looking up at you with those big beautiful eyes. He smiled at your request before allowing you to help him with the ties of his blouse. His hands fumbled along with yours, admiring the size difference between the two as he did before deciding it was done enough to pull it off. 

You watched him throw the fabric to the side before turning back to you. Your hands moved before you really put much thought into it, moving from his bare shoulders and down his chest. He was so much more muscular than 5 years prior and he had little scars from fights and accidents. But one stood out the most, the big scar just off the side of his belly button, the one that showed that he had evaded death. 

Yunho shivered slightly, feeling your fingers graze the scar before bringing your hands back up to his shoulders. “Stand up.” You said, kissing his neck gently as you did so. He faltered for a moment, raising up from his knees to stand before you again. As if he wasn’t incredibly hard already, the sight of you dropping to your knees infront of him definitely helped. 

Your hands moved down his stomach stopping at the ties of his trousers as you looked at him. Lifting yourself slightly, you kissed down the faint v line that dipped down and made shivers go down his spine. Yunho’s hand moved to your hair and pulled the loose strands out of your face so he could see every expression. 

You tugged his trousers down, allowing his cock to spring free and he let out a hiss. With a soft smile, your hand wrapped around him softly and you thumb ran over his slit to spread some of the precum around. Yunho couldn’t hold back his moans at the feeling, your hand was better than his own or some girl from a brothel. To you he sounded absolutely heavenly, making your lips part in a sigh before leaning forward and taking him into your mouth. 

Instinctively, his grip on your hair tightened as he felt your tongue swirl over his tip before throwing his head back. “Oh shit.” He hissed as you bobbed your head over him, forcing yourself to take more of him and using your hand for what didn’t fit. You pulled your mouth off of him and took a deep breath, giving him a soft squeeze with your hand just to see his response. Yunho almost whimpered and tugged your hair again because of the pleasure. “That feels so good.” He huffed as you took him into your mouth again. Your nose brushed his lower stomach as his cock pressed against the back of your throat, making you gag but you took it. His sounds were most definitely worth it. 

Yunho back away from you, his hands running through his hair as his chest rose and fell deeply. “I don’t want to finish yet.” He said, catching his breath as he looked at you completely bewildered. You smiled, loving that you had that effect on him before wiping your mouth slightly. 

He moved back towards you, lifting you onto your feet before pushing you back onto the bed. Hands, almost instantly finding the ties to your trousers to pull them down harshly. Yunho was feeling an almost feral need to taste you, fuck you, have you in any way possible. His patience was running thin. 

You let out a surprised sound as your trouser were ripped away from your legs, very much feeling the same need Yunho was at this point. Holding onto your ankles, he pulled you to edge of the bed and sank down on his again. He lifted your legs over his shoulders. His lips moved over your thighs, slowly but surely getting closer and closer to your dripping core. 

You watched with heavy breaths as his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking gently at first. The action left your hips bucking and Yunho smiling against your core. “Stay still.” He demanded and pressed your hips back down into the mattress before his lips became a bit harsher. With his eyes watching you and his lips against your core, the pleasure was incredibly intense. Your hands moved down your body, over your breasts and down to his on your hips. You just needed something to hold on to. 

His tongue circled over your clit as your fingers laced with his, your back arched off the bed. His other hand moved off of your hips, pointer finger circling around your entrance before slipping inside. It caught you off guard, making your hips buck again and a moan tear from your lips. He added another finger, thrusting them into a little harder and fast as lips continued to suck on your clit. Yunho just wanted you to cum, he wanted to see you fall over the edge, he wanted to see just how far he could push you. 

“Yunho- I’m, Oh.” You whimpered, squeezing his hand harshly as you tried to keep your hips still. The pit in your stomach was on the verge of exploding and he was doing everything he could to make it happen. His fingers continued to curl into you and your moans were almost soundless as you toppled over the edge. “That’s it.” He cooed as your thighs shook around his head, his fingers not slowing down one second to ride out your orgasm. Yunho watched your face contort and listened to your whimpers as he did so, a soft smile on his face the whole time. 

“You sound so good.” He complimented, fingers not easing up any as he did so. Your legs closed around his hand and you pushed it away, the overstimulation being too much for you. Yunho stood back up, hovering over your body as you caught your breath. You opened your eyes, locking with his for a moment as his hands massaged your hips. “Are you going to fuck me already?” You asked, words surprising him. 

The massaging of your hips ended as he lifted you up and flipped you over, catching you incredibly off guard but making you laugh none the less. “I told you, you talk too much sometimes.” He whispered in your ear as you adjusted to sit on your hands and knees. You smiled and arched your back slightly, ass pressing against his bare cock and he let out a sigh. 

You could feel his hand move up your back and to your hair, tugging harshly and pressing your back against his chest. You could feel the tip of his cock sitting at your entrance and you squirmed slightly. You had never been quite this needy before and it was all Yunho’s doing. 

He released your hair but wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you in place as he wasted no more time. Yunho thrust himself fully into you, hardly giving a moment to adjust to the stretch. The mewl that left your lips was a noise he knew he’d never forget and the way you felt gripping his cock either. It was like you were made for him. 

Yunho started fucking into you hardly giving you a chance to breathe because of his brutal pace. His arm remained around your waist to keep pressed against him and his other hand gripped your chin to make you look at him. This was it for him, knowing your completely blissed out expression was because of him and only him. He revelled in the feeling. 

Your sounds egged him on to fuck you even harder, pace being sure to leave bruises. You lifted your hand to hold on to the back of his neck, just so you had some leverage. “You feel so nice and tight around me, you were absolutely made for me.” He mumbled into your neck and kissed the skin. His words were making you blush which was almost funny considering the position you were in. “Fuck-” Was all you could muster as he hit that sweet spot inside of you, your fingers lacing with his on your waist. You were pretty sure that anyone on deck could hear your moaning but you really couldn’t care less. 

You could feel yourself getting close and so could Yunho, the way you were squeezing him left him moaning into your neck. The hand holding your chin moved down your body and stopped at your clit, rubbing harshly as he mumbled sweet nothings in your ear. 

“I want you to cum for me.” He started, kissing your lips as he picked up his pace even more. He continued to rub your clit as your body shook, that familiar coil in your stomach tightening. Yunho’s hips stuttered as he felt his own orgasm tear through him, moaning your name into your ear. As you felt him cum inside you, your own orgasm washed over you leaving your frozen and breathless. 

You sat there for a moment, catching your breath as Yunho laced gentle kisses over your neck doing the same. The arm that was wrapped around you waist remained there, holding you up as you both calmed down for moment. Your fingers traced shapes into his hand, tickling him slightly and making him laugh. 

“Well that was something.” You mumbled, moving away from him to lay down on the bed. Your body was in dire need of some rest, you could imagine his was too. You laid down on top of the sheets completely naked, looking up at Yunho who still standing and watching you. 

There was a sort of after glow surrounding you, your flushed out cheeks, the marks over your chest and the sparkle in your eyes. He found himself simply staring as you blinked at him. “Don’t look at me like that.” He started, finally moving to lay down next to you. “I can’t guarantee I won’t fuck you again if you don’t stop.” He laughed and you couldn’t help but giggle too as you rested your head on his chest. 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” You asked and kissed over his chest lightly, teasingly almost. “A promise.” Yunho answered, cupping your cheeks and making you look at him. “Captain Yunho, I think I might’ve fallen in love with you all over again.” You admitted, looking into his eyes. Yunho really couldn’t help the smile that pulled over his lips or the pink tint that covered his ears. “That’s a relief. I don’t think I ever fell out of love with you.” Yunho said and let his hand massage your bare thigh. 

“As long as we’re on the same page.” You said even softer, feeling incredibly tired after your day. Yunho settled with you in his arms allowing himself to also fall asleep with peace in mind for the first time in a long time. 

-

The next morning, Yunho woke up to an empty bed and he panicked for a moment. Only to realise you were sitting at the desk in the corner of the room, completely bare as you flipped through a journal. 

“This is a view I could get used to every morning.” Yunho mumbled, making you look up from the scribbles in the book. “If you play your cards right, you will.” You joked, standing up from your seat and wandering back to the bed. Yunho’s cheeks and eyes were puffy with sleep as he watched you saunter back to bed journal in hand. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” You asked, laying back down next to him and allowing his arms to wrap around you. You hadn’t noticed the journal lying there originally, but it had peaked your interest as you lied in bed that morning and rightfully so. It was your father’s sea journal and you had never looked in it before that morning. 

Yunho kissed your bare shoulder slightly as he watched you flip through the pages. “I was going to when you woke up, if you woke up that day. Then I had to explain everything to you and I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” Yunho explained, hoping you weren’t upset with him because of it. “It’s alright, I understand.” You reassured him, your hand stroking his face gently. “Have you flipped through this?” You asked, pausing on a page that had sparked a lot of interest for you a few minutes prior.  

“No, it didn’t feel right. Like I was reading through his personal thoughts.” Yunho shook his head and moved to read the page. His eyes widened at the words over the page. “Is this real?” He asked and you shrugged. “I have no idea but there are directions... he never told me about this.” Your voice trailed off, wondering why your father never explained the Aurora to you or how to get there. 

“Where were we headed after this stop?” You asked, reading the directions he had scribbled haphazardly over the page. “Nowhere specific. Somewhere, anywhere. At this point we were just surviving with the name pirate branded onto us.” He sounded lost for a moment, not enjoying the life they were leading. You both paused and looked at eachother. “If we don’t have a set course... What’s the harm in going?”You asked, knowing if you actually found the Aurora you’d be set for life. It was a legend but according to your father’s notebooks the legends were real. According to your captors, the legends were real. 

The Auroura was the cause for your life being taken away from you for years, the reason Yunho was almost killed and the reason you would never see your father again. If there was an ounce of truth to it all, it was worth finding. 

Yunho thought for a second, looking at your expression before standing up. He shuffled around for a moment, pulling his clothes back on that were thrown around during the previous evenings’ events. You watched him expectantly as he shuffled around, holding back your laughter as he stumbled slightly. 

He extended his hand to you and you looked at him in confusion. “I’m going to need the directions if I want Mingi to chart a course.”  He laughed, explaining himself and you felt your chest fill with warmth. Yunho leaned over the bed to kiss you, pressing his forehead to yours. 

  “You’re not wrong about there being no harm. We’ve been sailing for months without a purpose. Seems like with you back, we have our purpose again.” 

A/N: I left the ending kinda open to a part 2... so some feedback would be amazing. No in reality this fic took me months to write so I really hope you enjoy it.

Thank you for being patient with me, I love you guys and I’m sorry for being m.i.a while writing and stuff. ♥♥♥

#ateez #ateez smut #yunho #yunho smut #ateez reactions #yunho reactions

[monodipita]

PLATINUM (Yandere!Jotaro x Reader)

Hello! I just wanted to mention that this is a part of a series on AO3. All of the works are old and were written back when I had a funky writing style, so I don't believe they're worthy of being put on my Tumblr right now. Check out the series though if you enjoyed this one! <3

Word count: 1,740

Warnings: Yandere content warning, blood, gore, mean yandere Jotaro

Of course you couldn't expect a response from Jotaro over something as big as this... but this man never really said anything at all or did anything at all for that matter. The relationship felt one-sided as is - and on top of that, Jotaro didn't seem to be interested at all in having a relationship. You felt unwanted. And now, it was finally time to put your foot down. This guy was still not saying anything.

"Look at you!" You exclaimed at him with a swell of upset and fury, "you aren't even saying anything! It's like you didn't want to be in a relationship with me to begin with!"

Nothing. Not even a change of facial expression - he just stared at you with his usual expression, half of it covered by his ridiculous hat. One, two. . . no. You merely scoffed and flipped his hat off of his head, glaring at his newly-exposed face before turning on your heel and walking away from him. "No more, Jotaro! No more, we are through!"

But that wasn't the end of Jotaro it seemed. He began to tail you, there wasn't even a pause to go pick up his hat. He just started following you without any motive. It was so creepy. You knew it was him without even having to turn around because you could hear the jingling of his chains colliding with one another, it meant that he was matching your brisk pace, trying to reach out to you, but you wouldn't hear it nor would you fall for it.

You needed to run.

Soon after the thought, your body began to pick up the pace to match what you currently felt at the moment. You ran as quickly as you could muster in your school uniform to the nearest bathroom, your heart beating like drums in your ear, fear quickly rising in the beating organ as you hit the door of the bathroom, pushing yourself inside and kicking your way to the bathroom stall. No one was there but you—and that wasn't good at all. Maybe he would leave you alone then? You didn't even know if he followed you to begin with when you started running, but your safe assumption was that he did. At least you were offered this brief moment of respite in this bathroom stall. The silence was both unnerving and calming at the same time. You felt as if you couldn't sit still.

"[Y/N]. I know you're in there." Jotaro's voice sounded eerily calm from this distance. "I'll go in there if I have to. Don't make me do it."

Now you felt the need to panic. You were worried about what he was going to do to you once you stepped out of this very stall. Beat you? Or worse, even kill you? While you weren't afraid of him going far or even doing something like that, for some reason you just felt. . . scared. You didn't want to and felt like you couldn't face him without something bad happening. You stayed still in your spot and didn't make a single word from the stall that you sat in. You hoped that he just... wouldn't come in here, even if he was threatening you with it.

"[Y/N]."

...

"[Y/N]."

No, no matter how irate his voice became, you never wanted to leave this spot. You squeezed your eyes shut and curled up on the toilet seat over the fear that he would be coming into this very bathroom, over to this very stall. You held your breath and waited for him to leave.

"It's because of him, isn't it [Y/N]? That guy that you've been talking to recently behind my back- it's him, isn't it? He's the reason why you're considering leaving me?" You chose not to answer. The more it just seemed like you weren't there, the easier it became to relax.

Complete silence.

Your body was rigid with anxiety, and you were stricken with fear. But, you needed to get up, and you needed to get out of here. Maybe he was either waiting, or he actually left to continue on with his business—you assumed both because he definitely seemed more than pissed off right now, but at the same time, he was never the one to pursue you if you got into an argument. However, that didn't really express how he was feeling right now. He was... angry at your words. Angry that you wanted to stop the relationship and move on. It was a much weirder, almost darker side of him that you didn't want to see.

After some waiting, you wordlessly stepped from your position in the bathroom stall and completely moved out of it, into the open of the bathroom. You could see yourself in a mirror when you looked to your left. A small puddle of water wasn't too far away from the very first stall closest to the bathroom. You barely had time to even breathe before you could hear the rustling of the doorknob of the bathroom, you darted helplessly into one of them instead of utilizing your surroundings and simply retreating back into the one you were just in. You muffled your whimpers with your hand going over your mouth (though it truly didn't do any good) as you heard Jotaro walking into the bathroom, or who you assumed to be. . . until you noticed that there were two pairs of footsteps. The horror on your face when you realized that they were speaking with each other.

"L-look, man, I don't want any trouble! Please, could you let me down—" that voice... it was so recognizable. Was that. . . [bestfriend name]? What was Jotaro doing!?

The scuffed sounds of feet squeaking against the floor were a sure sign that your friend was being dragged across the ground. Jotaro said nothing to your friend, presumably carrying the same wordless demeanor he had from before he left when he was now dealing with your friend. You could only bow your head in fear and hope that he wouldn't do anything to him.

"Hey—what are you—AAAAH!"

The disturbing and traumatizing noise of bone and flesh colliding with the sink of the bathroom was perhaps the worst sound you'd ever heard in your life. In the thick silence that followed for just a split moment, you tried not to make a single peep as the tears slid down your cheeks. He couldn't find out that you were here, or maybe, just maybe you would be next.

"What did you do to [Y/N]? Why does [Y/N] want to leave me? You poisoned [Y/N]." Jotaro's gruff voice asked to the sack of flesh and bone underneath him. Your wide eyes could see the two of them in the puddle left undisturbed on the ground. . . almost like he knew you were looking, but you could already see the damage done to the poor guy he was dealing with. [bestfriend name]'s teeth were gone, knocked out. Blood smeared his lips and cheeks. It was a horrid sight.

"W-what are you talking about?? I didn't do anything to [Y/N]! I only said to be yourself and let him know how you f—"

Another sickening smash filled your ears. "Not a good enough answer," Jotaro answered loudly over the sounds of [bestfriend name]'s screaming. "I DON'T KNOW!" He cried out to Jotaro, "PLEASE! PLEASE ST- AAAAH!"

You let out a sob as a final smash against the sink was heard—the sink underneath the boy falling to the ground underneath, emitting a piercing, loud noise around the entire bathroom. The boy fell to the ground as well, but Jotaro was quick to pull him up to act as both a shield from the water and letting the guy know that he wasn't fully done with him yet. "You're going to help me find [Y/N], or I'm going to kill you."

"I-I don't know where [Y/N] i—" he was silenced, but you don't know how he became so. Your worry became so paramount that you dashed out of the bathroom, ready to piss yourself running right now, but you were determined to at least get your friend some help.

"Stop!" You cried to Jotaro, "he doesn't need to be involved in this! I made this decision on my own!"

Jotaro glanced over at [bestfriend's name]. "Do you hear that? My babe said you get to walk away free. Consider yourself lucky." He dropped the guy from the tall height he held him at.

[bestfriend name] stumbled forward, his eyes staring at you, bug-eyed and nearly bloodshot. He made it two steps before you. Two, single, steps before you, before Jotaro took the boy's skull into his massive hand and smashed the boy's skull against the wall next to the two of you. Your eyes were glued open as they watched his body slide down the wall, to the floor, where blood pooled underneath his body. You flinched and screamed at the noise of your friend being so brutally murdered to only see the grisly sight of the aftermath, bloodied and disfigured by the hefty slam into the wall, and more importantly, lifeless.

By then, your fight-or-flight response kicked in. You turned on your heel almost immediately and sprinted to the door, but Jotaro was right on your ass. He pinned you to the door and laughed at you as you helplessly screamed and pounded against the door, saying, "you're so silly [Y/N], no wonder I found you to be so attractive. But, I think this is getting a little annoying now, don't you think?" He reached around and grabbed you by your frozen shoulder, turning you around to face him. His hand was quick to clamp onto your lips, ultimately forcing you to silence and even calm down.

You were left to stare into those deep blue eyes of his in horror, though the tears overpowered your sight and eventually left Jotaro to be nothing more but a blur.

"Why are you crying, [Y/N]? I think you should be happy. Look," he pulled his hand away from your lips to pull you into his body, crushing you even and holding you tightly as he made you turn and face your best friend. "He's dead now, so there's no one in the way of our relationship anymore. We are free to be together for as long as I can say 'you're mine'.“

#jojo's bizzare adventure stardust crusaders #jjba x reader #yandere x reader #jotaro x reader #yandere #jotaro kujo #yandere jotaro #gender neutral insert #reader insert

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Twelve

⚠WARNING: Swearing, arguments, mention of past character's death

• ────── ✾ ────── •

“So, you’re the Osamu Y/N won’t stop talking about?”

You shove Makki’s face away from it’s imagined perch between yours and Osamu’s shoulders.

“Ouch! So mean~~~”

“You’re fine,” you reply with an eye roll. You knew your friends would want to tease you about Osamu’s appearance at group therapy, which just wrapped up. At least they waited until the five of you were outside and away from the other group session attendees. But that doesn’t mean that you welcome their inquisition.

“I apologize for my boyfriend.” Mattsun steps up. He offers his hand to Osamu. “Matsukawa Issei. The strawberry idiot is Hanamaki Takahiro.”

Osamu, still mute, reaches forward and grabs Mattsun’s hand. “Miya Osamu, but it looks like you know that already.”

You blush furiously as Mattsun grins at Osamu. “Yeah, we do.” Mattsun shoots you an evil look. “We all went to high school together, so we have all the dirt on Y/N whenever you want it.”

“Okay, that’s enough of that.” You interject and step between Mattsun and Osamu. You feel your face is burning with embarrassment so you turn your back to Osamu and give Mattsun a glare. He returns it with his own lecherous grin, with Makki perched on his shoulder with a shit-eating smile of his own.

A laugh behind you makes you crane your neck over your shoulder and you send another glare to Osamu.

“I might have to take ya up on that offer.”

You now realize that it may have been a bad idea to have Osamu, your dry, sarcastic friend, meet Mattsun and Makki, your dry, sarcastic and just as prone to stirring the pot friends.

“There will be no sharing of any stories, by anyone.” You know Mattsun and Makki have enough to fill books upon books of your previous exploits, but you’re also addressing Osamu, who for sure has a few embarrassing moments he could share.

Osamu, Mattsun and Makki chuchle at your request, and while you silently lament at that budding friendship that will only cause you future headaches, you notice Oikawa standing off to the side looking bored.

“Osamu, this is Oikawa Tooru,” you introduce him, knowing that he’s not jumping up to dazzle and charm. “Oikawa, this is Osamu.”

Oikawa turns his gaze to you, pausing to glare with all the contempt he can manage, before looking at Osamu. “I’ve just gone through an emotional and draining therapy session so I apologize for not being bright and unaffected like some of us.”

“Stop it,” you hiss at him. He’s not lying, as he always cries in group therapy (which you would never fault him for.) But you’re not sure if his jab at the end was directed at Osamu, who sat quiet and stoic for the entire meeting, or not.

Either way, Oikawa’s behavior right now is ridiculously inappropriate.

But Osamu just chuckles. “Nah, I get it. People have different emotional responses and cope differently.”

Oikawa doesn’t reply but his eyes narrowing means he’s not happy with Osamu’s mature response.

“Well after our sessions we usually go grab some dinner,” Makki says, trying to diffuse the tension. “You’re more than welcome to come with, Osamu.”

Bless your sweet heart, Makki, you think. He’s always nice and polite and you knew you could count on him to open the group to Osamu.

But of course Oikawa has to slam that door shut and lock it. “Oh, so sorry Osamu-kun but we actually have to discuss a gathering coming up soon.” He gives Osamu a simpering smile with no ounce of regret at all. “I’m sure you understand.”

Yet again, Osamu takes his rudeness in stride and nods. “Of course, I’m pretty tired anyway. But thanks for the invite.” He looks at you and smiles. “Coffee tomorrow?”

You nod, unable to speak around the rage bubbling in your gut. You don’t react when Osamu waves to your friends and walks away - you’re zeroed-in on Oikawa, who is expertly avoiding your gaze. You keep your anger reigned in as it threatens to explode.

“Oikawa,” you start in a low voice. Your teeth are grit together and your hands are shaking.

“I’m feeling dumplings for dinner.” Oikawa doesn’t even acknowledge you calling out to him before turning away and heading up the sidewalk. He also doesn’t bother checking to see if you guys are following him.

The arrogance and gall that Oikawa's showing to you guys, his friends, makes you see red. You open your mouth to scream when a hand rests on your arm.

“Not here,” Mattsun says. “Let’s talk like adults, c’mon.”

He pulls you forward, Makki flanking your other side. The three of you follow Oikawa's figure, now several yards ahead. You know your friends are close to you to try and keep you calm but your brain is supplying reason upon reason to pummel Oikawa into the ground.

He’s waiting for you all outside of a restaurant your group frequents, and when he spots you getting closer he goes inside.

He’s delusional if he thinks he’s safe there.

When you walk inside you catch him getting a table for four. Mattsun walks ahead and takes the empty seat next to Oikawa, leaving you and Makki to sit across from them. You’re glaring daggers at Oikawa, who still hasn’t looked your way.

The table is silent, even when a waiter comes by, fills the water glasses, and leaves. You don’t look away from Oikawa as he peruses the menu. The anger you feel is nearly boiling over, the contained fury making your hands shake again. The culmination of events from the past few weeks has brought you to this moment - it just took Oikawa being unnecessarily rude to Osamu, someone who does not deserve that kind of behavior, for you to finally address the issue.

“Oh, maybe we should do dumplings for Iwa-chan’s picnic celebration.”

Like a rubber band, you snap.

Your hand comes down on the table, hard. “I cannot believe how rude you were to Osamu. You had no right!”

Out of the corner of your eye you see other patrons glancing at your table, and Mattsun and Makki look ready to step in and intervene. But your eyes are trained on Oikawa, who has finally met your gaze. His eyes are sharp and his mouth pulled down.

“Well Osamu-kun wasn't the friendliest either.” Oikawa shoots back. “It wouldn’t have hurt him to be a bit more outgoing.”

“You said it yourself. It was an emotional and draining therapy session.” You smile meanly, relishing in throwing the words back in Oikawa’s face. “And it doesn’t help that you were being a total prick.”

“Hey guys, c’mon.” Makki speaks up but is ignored.

Oikawa replies to you scathingly. “Well excuse me for not wanting to be BFFS with the person that you’re replacing us with!”

“What are you talking about?” You ask, exasperated.

“You heard me.” Oikawa snaps. “You’ve barely been talking to us or hanging out with us since meeting Osamu, and it’s obvious that we’re being replaced.”

You laugh, tickled at Oikawa’s audacity. “I spent nearly every day with you last week, how can you say I’m replacing you?!”

“You’re only there because I asked you to be!” Neither if you are shouting yet but you know it’s not far off. “You’re not even there all the time, you’re texting Osamu when you’re supposed to be helping me!”

“Well maybe it’s because Osamu doesn’t make me feel like shit, and doesn’t constantly guilt me into being your friend.”

“Or maybe it’s because he’s giving you the kind of attention that we can’t give you.”

You freeze, a loud ringing echoing in your ears. “Excuse me?”

“Knock it off, guys.” Mattsun’s request falls on deaf ears. You’re both wading into dangerous territory, and some part of your brain is telling you to back off unless you want to ruin your friendship with Oikawa. But another, more feral part of your brain is telling you to ruin him.

“I don’t know what your fucking problem is Oikawa, but maybe you should take a look at how you’re treating your friends. And then realize that’s why no one wants to hang out with you.

“Maybe you’ll realize that monopolizing our time and punishing us for doing things without you isn’t the best way to keep us around.”

You don’t stop the sneer that comes across your face. “And you say that I’m a shit friend - you’ve haven’t been keeping up with me either. Makki and Mattsun are the only ones who have asked me how I’ve been. They’re the only ones who noticed that I’ve been losing weight and sleeping less. They’re the only ones who’ve asked if I’m okay when I’m clearly not, because they use their goddamn eyes and actually give a shit about someone other than themselves!

“I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning but somehow I still made time to wait on you hand and foot, and this is the thanks I get?” You're breathing heavily at the end of your rant, staring down your friend across the table.

Oikawa doesn’t give any indication that your words had any effect on him. “What do you want, Y/N?” He asks patronizingly. “You want a pass because you’re tired? We’re all fucking tired. You want sympathy because you miss Iwa-chan? We ALL miss him. What, do you think you’re special because you’re in love with him?”

A horrid silence settles on the table, more devastating than any barb you or Oikawa have flung at each other. You feel your heart jolt painfully in your chest and the air is pulled from your lungs in a whoosh.

“What?” Makki asks faintly.

You’re frozen still, staring at Oikawa who now has a matching look of horror on his face. His breathing picks up, and his eyes shimmer.

“What are you talking about?” Makki asks, his voice a bit stronger than before.

“Y/N.” You thaw enough to turn your head and meet Mattsun’s dark eyes boring into yours. “Do you love Iwaizumi?”

You glance back to Oikawa, who’s eyes have filled with tears. “Y/N-chan,” he gets out, audibly fighting through his tears.

Another beat passes before your flight instinct fully kicks in and you take off.

Your friends call after you, Oikawa’s distressed voice louder than the rest, but you don’t stop. You head out into the sidewalk, not bothering to stop the tears falling as you walk home alone.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: And there it is....Y/N's secret is out. Definitely not in the way that anyone wanted, let's hope things even out in the aftermath (😬😬😬) Thank you all for reading!

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU: @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @@bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr

#haikyuu! #haikyuu #haikyuu fic #haikyuu social media au #haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #hq smau #hq x reader #hq x y/n #hq x you #haikyuu angst #hq angst #haikyuu romance #hq romance #miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu x y/n #miya osamu x you #iwaizumi hajime #miya atsumu #oikawa tooru #hanamki takahiro #matsukawa issei #tw.mention of past character death #kita shinsuke #suna rintarou #ojiro aran #its [not] okay fic & smau

[thornedrose44]

It's Funny Right Up Until It's Not

Read on AO3

It's funny because it's harmless…

It's funny because it's never a big deal…

It's funny because it's forgotten by the next day…

It's funny because she's fine.

She's always fine…

Until… she’s not...

It's funny right up until there's a growing pool of blood.

It's funny right up until Kara's hands just can't seem to stem the flow.

It's funny right up until Kara can't get her to open her eyes no matter how much she screams.

It's funny right up until the moment Kara realises Lena might actually die this time…

*****

Lena always said she would start to worry if she didn't have an assassination attempt at least once a week, claiming she would phone her enemies to check that they were all still kicking - concerned they might have passed away or even worse… lost interest.

Lena was the one that joked about it from the start, her dark-edged humour and flair for the dramatic finding their niche with the topic of the failed attempts on her life.

Alex jumped in next - her humour similar to the youngest Luthor and her affection for Lena not high enough for her to find the subject of Lena’s death off putting like she would with anyone else. Her amusement at the failed attempts taking a harsher edge towards Lena than necessary. "You know why they keep missing you? You run so stupidly that logical aiming no longer applies."

Kara could chart Alex and Lena’s friendship by how the jokes changed. How Lena was no longer the punchline but the assassins, how they were idiotic for daring to take on Lena, "I mean seriously! What sane being in the known universe would think: 'I know that Lena Luthor stopped an alien invasion, is probably the smartest person on the planet and is practically a sharpshooter but me and my crappy store bought pistol will be more than enough to take her on'."

Alex's shift into more positive banter led the way for the rest of the Superfriends to get in on the action. They placed bets on when the next attempt would come. They would reminisce about the most ridiculous attempts so far - the spiderman impersonator that had used suction cup gloves to slowly climb the side of L-Corp was a particular favourite, exhausting themselves halfway up and crying for Supergirl to save him.

It became one of the most regular jokes amongst them, an old and familiar friend that they could fall back on and break the ice with when the need arrived.

Kara had hated it to start with. Had hated Lena's nonchalance and the twinkle of mirth in her eyes after her latest would-be assassin was carted away in handcuffs. Had hated Lena’s morbid humour. Had hated the bullying disguised as playful banter that Alex had inflicted on her best friend who always shook it off far too lightly. Had hated how it became a comfortable staple amongst her friends.

But… with every failed attempt that Lena walked away from without a scratch… Kara's hatred reduced. She started to laugh at the jokes and appreciate the compliments that Alex now tucked into her banter (each one an apology for those that had cruelly come before). She started to engage in the bets and fondly roll her eyes in faux exasperation when she would find Lena working away even as they swept up the glass from the latest attacker.

And once the Supergirl secret was out, their friendship more solid than ever, Kara finally poked fun as well.

It was funny because Lena was never hurt.

It was funny because Supergirl would always, always, always be there to save her in the nick of time.

It was funny right up until Supergirl was too late.

*****

Kara had been in the training room at the time, her powers dampened by the green suffused walls. She hadn’t heard the ringing from the watch calling - screaming out - for help. She hadn’t heard the gunshots. The skyrocketing heartbeat.

She hadn’t heard any of it.

Alex had insisted, after assessing Kara’s technique to be a little lazy in a fight the day prior, that they re-sharpen her skills in the training room. The sisters had spent the morning laughing between thrown punches; exhausting themselves and bickering good-naturedly. Kara had made Alex swear that they would be finished before eleven, not wanting to be late to her standing brunch with Lena that she always looked forward to.

It should be noted that it takes Kara a minute to somewhat recharge in the morning light streaming through the DEO’s windows on the mezzanine balcony after her training sessions. It was something Alex and Lena had spent a significant amount of time working out, taking into consideration the kryptonite strength in the training room and Kara’s typical sunlight absorption rate - neither liking the idea of Kara powerless for an extended amount of time.

So... it took a minute.

A full minute spent talking to Alex about… Kara wouldn’t even remember after everything that happened next.

She would, however, remember the moment when her super-hearing kicked back in and she was overwhelmed by the high pitched warble from Lena’s watch, followed by the sound of Lena’s barely there breath and thready heartbeat.

Kara won’t remember taking off so violently that Alex was thrown back several feet. She won’t remember smashing through the DEO’s ceiling nor the sonic boom that accompanied her flight and shattered hundreds of windows.

She won’t remember landing with such ferocity the entirety of L-Corp shook, matching the tremble running through her body.

She will, however, always remember the growing pool of blood and how she dissociated at the sight of it. Some strange voice in her head whispering that it must simply be red wine that had slipped through Lena’s fingers. She’d always liked wine, the voice would soothe, a particular cabernet with a price tag that would make Kara’s eyes water, that’s all it was.

She needed it to be wine.

It didn’t matter that the puddle - lake, ocean - was more than a single bottle’s worth.

It didn’t matter that Lena only drank wine with others, her solitary drink of preference being whiskey.

It didn’t matter that Kara had never seen Lena’s elegant fingers ever let a single drop fall from her glass, let alone an entire bottle.

It didn’t matter because it could not be blood.

Lena doesn’t bleed, not that much, not ever.

Because Lena was always fine. Kara was always there on time.

Always.

The next thing that would be forever ingrained in Kara’s memory, seared into her mind’s eye like burnt pixels exposed to the same image endlessly - a ghost overlapping everything else - was Lena’s body taking centre stage on the red carpet of her own creation.

Lena, pale beyond comparison, curled into a small ball, single arm stretched out and stained crimson. She was wearing Kara’s favourite dress - green with a white printed flower design - she had worn it to their first brunch after they had reconciled. It was associated with hope, reunion and new starts. It complemented Lena’s green eyes making them sparkle and twinkle even more when the light streaming through the little restaurant’s window had hit them at just the right angle.

Lena’s cheeks had flushed a pleased pink, ears burning a warm red when Kara had stuttered out a compliment that day. That brunch had settled something between them, ensured they walked with linked hands towards their new future rather than struggling on different paths that occasionally converged.

Now it was stained red. Splattered almost beyond recognition.

Kara won’t remember crying or screaming for Lena to wake up. She only knows she must have done it when she looked in the mirror hours later to find her cheeks marked with semi-permanent tear tracks whilst her throat ached from overuse.

She won’t remember flying Lena so carefully and tenderly to the DEO.

She won’t remember landing.

She won’t remember the expressions of utter devastation on Alex, Brainy, Nia and J’onn’s faces.

She won’t remember Alex having to shove her away so that she and the medical team can get to Lena.

She won’t remember Brainy and J’onn forcibly restraining her.

She will remember the sound of Lena’s heart stopping for thirty seconds and feeling like the whole world had ended.

*****

The space was filled to the brim with loved ones that couldn’t bear the idea of leaving whilst the medical staff fought to save Lena’s life

Brainy and Nia were sat huddled together against one wall, Nia running a calm hand down Brainy’s ramrod straight back. J'onn stood in the corner, observant gaze sweeping protectively over everyone, ready to swing into action at the slightest indication someone required him. Sam and Ruby - who had flown over using the L-Corp jet the second they had heard - were curled up on one of the two benches, Ruby’s soft cries muffled against Sam’s curled shoulder. Kelly, meanwhile, was hovering nearby, flitting between people, providing endless comfort and support.

It was Kelly that had gently tugged Kara to the bathroom and washed away the crimson marking her skin and brought her a change of clothes, telling her in gentle tones that she didn’t need to be Supergirl in this situation.

It was permission to fall apart, to just be the best friend and not the hero.

Kara didn’t know she needed that until she finally realised no one had touched her since she had brought Lena in, that she hadn’t sat down or rested either. Her stiff posture and clenched jaw warding off all those that wished to provide comfort.

The second permission was granted to her, Kara immediately sought out her adoptive mother, who had just arrived, and collapsed into her arms, willingly breaking down and begging between sobs for Lena to be okay.

Kara and Eliza took up the other bench - mirror images of Sam and Ruby - Eliza, intermittently, pressing reassuring kisses to Kara’s head as they waited and waited and waited.

“She’s stable.” Alex announced with little ceremony as she stepped into the room, cutting right to the chase knowing a delay of any kind would not be appreciated by those sitting in the makeshift waiting room/DEO hallway. There was an instant audible expulsion of air that accompanied the sheer relief of the room's occupants.

Kara, however, didn’t sigh in relief, didn’t whisper a thank you to any deity listening, instead she got to her feet and approached Alex, desperation clear in her eyes and in the shake of her hands. “Can I see her?”

Alex blinked taken aback by the suddenness of the request but not the request itself, “Kara, she’s-”

“Please.” Kara begged, blue eyes pleading, legs shaking, ready to drop to her knees in supplication if need be.

“Kara, I don’t-” Alex murmured, looking quickly over at Eliza for support.

“Take her.” Eliza interrupted, tone serious and grave after spending hours holding her daughter who hadn't cried this much since the destruction of her entire planet. “Take her to Lena.”

“Okay, come on…”, Alex shook her head in wary acceptance, moving to hold open the door to Lena’s room.

*****

“She’s in a medically induced coma.” Alex explained quietly, her voice only just audible over all the whirring machines that Lena was hooked up to.

“Will she...” Kara asked, trailing off unable to finish the question.

Unable to imagine the still, pale mannequin laid out on the bed before her being all that Lena will ever be.

“Her body needs time to heal.” Alex explained carefully, not directly answering Kara’s question, “Once we’re more confident that she…” Alex cleared her throat, trying for tact and simplicity, “That she’s improved, we’ll back off the medication and gradually encourage her out of the coma.”

“Okay.” Kara accepted, sliding into the seat beside the bed, fingers reaching out tentatively to wrap around Lena’s limp ones.

“Okay?” Alex repeated, confused by Kara’s lack of pressing questions.

“She’ll wake up.” Kara murmured, bending down to press a kiss to Lena’s knuckles. “She’ll be fine. She’s always fine, isn’t she?”

“Uh…” Alex mumbled, uncertainty twisting her insides as she approached her sister who seemed so… lost.

“How many attempts has she survived now, huh?” Kara asked, her tone light but so dreadfully wrong and out of place like an easy-going dinner with friends jarred from its natural rhythm by the sharp squeak of a fork against a plate.

“Kara?” Alex whispered, stepping towards her sister like she would a wounded animal. "She's really hurt and I don't-"

"She’ll be fine, Alex. She’s always fine!" Kara hissed, blue eyes turning fierce with an ethereal red glow that had Alex stopping dead in her tracks. "It happens every week like clockwork and Lena is always fine!"

"This… this isn't like those other times…" Alex said slowly.

"YES, IT IS!" Kara screeched, the embers in her eyes sparking dangerously.

Alex swallowed thickly, a genuine trickle of fear running down her spine at the disturbing mish-mash of emotions flickering across Kara’s shadowed face. The only thing that made Alex see her sister in the dark swirl of emotions was the tender way she continued to cradle Lena’s hand as she ranted so loudly it shook the walls, every word undoubtedly audible to those seated just outside.

"They're all the same, Alex. It doesn't matter if they are professional or amateurs.” Kara snarled. “It doesn't matter if the plan is simple or complex. They've all tried to kill her and failed! It’s the same fucking thing as all the others! It’s not different."

"I-" Alex began in a futile attempt to soothe her sister’s heartbreak and loathing, but she might as well have tried to turn the tide.

"It's a joke, right?!” Kara laughed darkly, “That's how certain we are that they will always fail. That she will always be okay! We wouldn't joke about it if there was any actual risk, right?!” Kara asked, not waiting to hear the answer as the question itself was enough to punch a hole in Alex’s chest and leave her gasping for breath. “Because how fucked up would that be? That I laugh about my best friend… the woman I… my Lena, dying nearly every week." Kara’s voice cracked with true despair.

"Kara, you didn't-"

"Yes, I did and so did you. So did everyone.” Kara accused, laying out their crimes that they were all undeniably guilty of. “We laughed. We placed bets. We minimised it but didn't actually do anything. There is an assassination attempt on her life every week and yes, we stop it when it happens. But have we ever actually done anything to prevent it in the first place? Or did we just like the joke too fucking much?" Kara sobbed, finally turning away from her sister to gently lay her head atop of Lena’s frail hand.

"Kara…" Alex croaked; hot tears spilling from her own eyes at the sight of her sister becoming undone and knowing that any comfort she could offer was limited.

Lena’s state was precarious, her life still in the balance.

And with regards to the source of Kara’s anguish and the failings she had thrown at all of their doorsteps… well, Alex couldn't refute them especially knowing she had been the worst of them. The guilt was like that of a thousand blades slicing her up from the inside out, and she barely staggered to the door where Kelly was waiting with sympathy and love that Alex had never felt so unworthy of.

"She's going to be okay." Alex called out over her shoulder as she fell into Kelly’s arms, knowing Kara couldn’t hear her over the sounds of her grief and pain… but needing to say it nonetheless. Needing the words to be out there in the universe.

Needing them to be true.

*****

Kara stayed by Lena’s bedside for the entire week that Lena remained unconscious - an ever present sentinel that barely slept and only ate when Eliza forced the food onto her. The tumultuous swirl of fear and guilt that had become her constant companion, weighing heavier than the two worlds she already carried on her shoulders, kept her ever-vigilant and on a hair-trigger for even the smallest of threats to the young Luthor’s life.

Alex stopped by once a day to check in but she kept her distance, neither sister ready to address the crimes Kara held them both accountable for. The older Danvers looked almost as wrecked as Kara, dark circles under her eyes revealing deep-levels of exhaustion and stress - Kara wanted to ask how she was and check that she was looking after herself but the words just wouldn’t come. When Alex stopped by, Kara huddled even closer to Lena’s bedside and kept her gaze fixed and purposefully away from her sister’s.

Brainy and Nia, on the other hand, more than made up for Alex’s short visitations, setting up shop in Lena’s room whenever they could free themselves from the responsibilities Kara had unwittingly dumped on them - Brainy had stepped up to cover for Supergirl’s sudden disappearance in much the same way Nia was covering for Kara at work. Both had heard Kara’s distraught cries when she had seen Lena in the hospital bed and both were shouldering their own fair share of blame and guilt.

Brainy wasn’t very good at showing how distraught Lena’s near death had made him, hiding behind a tablet screen as he sat in the corner of Lena’s hospital room, but Kara was more than aware of the grief-stricken glances Brainy would send to his intellectual equal when he believed no one was looking. Kara didn’t call him out on it, merely gave his shoulder a squeeze every now and again before giving the Coluan some privacy - trusting Brainy above everyone to not let anything happen to Lena.

Whilst Nia hadn’t known Lena as long as everyone else, she was a gentle soul with the kindest heart that Kara had ever seen, her loyalty and love was firm and sincere regardless of how short a time she had known someone as was the case with the CEO. Lena was the person that Nia went to for support about sibling drama because Lena, unlike Kara, knew what it was like to truly doubt family love and how to cope when that support which everyone expects to be unconditional vanishes without a trace. Lena was the person that Nia had started to go shopping with, their appreciation for designer and statement fashion providing them bonding time that no one else could easily (or willingly) provide.

Eliza stuck around, the temporary dissolution of the sisterly bond that the two sisters’ typically depended on forcing the Danvers matriarch to step in and pick up the disjointed pieces of her family. She was the one that compelled Kara to shower, eat and nap. She was the one that dragged Alex by her ear into Lena’s room for her flying visits. She was the one that took point on Lena’s care, Alex too emotionally spent and frazzled to lead, and Kara untrusting of anyone else when it came to treating her best friend.

The medication was steadily backed off on the fifth day, Lena’s tests showing promise that she was improving. Lena groaned intermittently on the sixth day, groggy and confused - utterly unaware of Kara who flitted constantly over her with every sound like a worried mother hen. It was the seventh day - Kara’s mind fleetingly linking it with something holy and divine - when Lena awoke.

“Lena?” Kara whispered as Lena’s eyes fluttered open, green eyes slowly focusing and showing awareness that had been lacking whenever they flashed open a day prior.

“Kar-” Lena began, her voice fading out after the first syllable, her mouth so dry that her tongue barely managed to apply any moisture to her cracked lips. Kara responded immediately to her needs, her every nerve tuned in exclusively to Lena after days at her side.

“Here, small sips…” Kara encouraged, holding out a cup of water and straw which she pressed gently against the other woman’s lips.

After Lena had drunk her fill, Kara placed the cup back on the side before retaking Lena’s hand tenderly in her own.

“Better?” Kara checked.

“Hmm…” Lena hummed affirmatively, green eyes greedily moving over Kara’s face causing the blonde to flush and wish for the first time in the last few days that she had spent a bit more time on her appearance.

“I-” Kara began, her voice cracking with emotion as her lower lip trembled with barely suppressed sobs.

Kara had so much to say. So much.

The words had come endlessly whilst Lena had been asleep, thousands upon thousands of conversations she was desperate to have with her best friend playing on endless repeat in her mind’s eye scripted to perfection. She had promised herself she would have them all, would say them all the second Lena was awake and listening. She had memorised them and mouthed them to herself as she sat by the bedside, pressing kisses to Lena’s knuckles to mark the end of each sentence.

But now… her signature ramble had deserted her. There was so much to say and Kara was already overwhelmed at simply being able to stare into intelligent green that she so adored.

“Kara?” Lena called out soothingly.

And much to Kara’s embarrassment, the kryptonian promptly burst into tears upon hearing her name.

“Kara, it’s okay…” Lena rushed to reassure, squeezing Kara’s hand and tugging her closer so that Kara could bury her face into the pillow Lena was resting her head on - even in her broken down state Kara was so careful of Lena’s injured body. “I’m okay.” Lena repeated until Kara’s cries began to quieten and her shoulders stopped shaking, reducing down to a mere tremble.

“No, you’re not…” Kara hiccupped, turning her head to peer into concerned green eyes.

“Of course I am.” Lena reassured with a light, dismissive chuckle that made Kara tense up and her jaw clench. “That idiot couldn’t aim for shit.” Lena scoffed with an amused roll of her eyes that meant she was blind to the rage visibly brewing in her best friend’s countenance. “I’m thinking of turning the corridor leading into my office into a target range. Only those that can hit three out of five targets can gain access. That should stop like eighty percent of the assassins and then those that do make it through will at least be worthy of-”

“SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Kara demanded, throwing herself from the bed, hands clamped tight over her ears as she paced the room with such heavy footsteps that visible cracks in the tiles marked her every move.

The sudden silence that followed would have been suffocating if it were not for the familiar beeps of the machines that monitored Lena’s precious heartbeat. Slowly, Kara pulled her shaky hands away from her ears and glanced at her best friend with her peripheral vision, not ready to face those green eyes after her outburst. Lena was watching her curiously, no hint of fear in her expression or body language, eyebrow raised and lips pursed.

“Kara?” Lena encouraged, inviting an explanation with that single word.

Kara inhaled roughly, rubbing at her creased forehead with tightly wound fists. “It’s not funny, Lena…”

Lena cleared her throat and began with a tone that always accompanied her dry, snarky wit, “Well, maybe not right now but by the third attempt after this one-”

“NO!” Kara bellowed in total disbelief that Lena completely failed to get it. “YOU NEARLY FUCKING DIED.”

Lena yet again rolled her eyes and waved a hand as if to sweep it aside like it was a meaningless report that she had made a minor grammatical error in. “Kara, you’re over-reacting.”

“I AM REACTING THE RIGHT FUCKING AMOUNT TO SOMEONE TRYING TO KILL THE WOMAN I-” Kara’s voice cut out sudden and sharp.

Finally, Lena’s mask of nonchalance and indifference cracked. Round green eyes, slack jaw and hands tightly fisted in the bed’s blanket. A deer in the headlight that had never believed a car would ever come and had just been forced to watch it swerve erratically by, missing her by an inch.

Kara sucked in her lips, holding in the single word with all of her mighty strength before deflating and stating for the record, “It’s not funny. It was never funny. Never.”

*****

Kara didn’t keep her distance after that but that didn’t prevent a sizable chasm from opening up between them. It was nowhere near as bad as the fallout from Supergirl-gate, but it was ten times more awkward. The confession that almost happened, the assassination attempt and Lena’s near-death were swept momentarily under a rug but they loomed over them both regardless.

The Superfriends served as a suitable buffer, all of them (except for Alex) coming in on rotation to catch up with Lena throughout the day, keeping her occupied (though, Kara’s stony silence and brooding glare was definitely the elephant in the room) until exhaustion pushed Lena into a deep slumber.

It lasted two days which is more than Kara thought Lena would let her get away with but she hadn’t taken into consideration how fragile Lena was from her injuries. Kara hated herself just that little bit more for always assuming everything was fine, that Lena was unbreakable and failing to see what was really going on below the surface.

“How long are you going to give me the silent treatment for?” Lena questioned, peering over at the blonde who was sat in the corner of the room typing up a fluff piece article to keep Andrea’s wrath at bay as she kept herself sequestered in Lena’s hospital room. Kara pointedly ignored the question, shoulders curving forward to keep her tightly locked towards her laptop screen.

“Come on Kara, talk to me, please?” Lena whined, sounding like a child denied her favourite toy and not someone that had gone through an incredibly traumatic event.

Kara’s jaw clenched, self-awareness making her realise that if she hadn’t of been the one to find Lena, hadn’t watched the grim bruises littered across pale skin lighten to murky blues and greens… she wouldn’t be able to tell that Lena had only just escaped the sweep of death’s scythe.

“I hate it when we are not talking.” Lena declared soft and earnest, finally pulling the kryptonian’s gaze away from her computer screen to the woman that Kara knew with absolute certainty would always make her breath catch no matter how much time passed. “I know my humour is a bit insensitive but I genuinely didn’t mean to upset you. Kara, just-”

“I’m in love with you.” Kara interrupted, the words slipping out easily after being held onto so tightly for years.

She was so drained of emotion, of thought, of strength, her heart battered and bruised by everything she had gone through, but the core of her loved Lena without end. With nothing else in her, there was nothing to hold back that limitless source which had been begging to be released.

“I have been for a long time,” Kara admitted gently, fingers shifting away from her keyboard to gently interlace - her gaze dropping down to focus on their interaction, “so much so that I don’t even really remember a time where I wasn’t in love with you.” Kara shook her head ruefully. “I should have told you earlier but I just… I was so scared of losing you, in even a small way… What if I told you and we hung out a little less? What if I told you and you stopped hugging me as hard as you do? I know I should have… I know it's the exact same reason - excuse - as why I kept Supergirl a secret and I know how…” Kara swallowed thickly, the crinkle between her brow deepening even further. “I should have learnt but you mean so much to me. I didn’t know… I’ve never loved like this before. When I heard… your heart stop. It was Krypton all over again and I just…”

“Kara.” Lena breathed in awe.

“I am so in love with you,” Kara repeated, practically begging for Lena to accept it as the truth; she didn’t care in that moment if Lena returned her feelings, it wasn’t about that, it was about Lena knowing she was loved. Truly and deeply loved. “Please believe me.”

“I believe you.” Lena whispered causing Kara’s head to jerk upwards to find Lena looking so small and vulnerable. The youngest Luthor timidly tapped the empty space next to her, “Come here.”

“I…” Kara hesitated, afraid of getting close again - so utterly afraid of destroying this beautiful moment between them.

“Come here.” Lena beseeched and Kara was on her feet and settling next to her best friend in an instant unable to deny her anything. Immediately, Lena reached out for her, directing Kara to lie down and rest her head on the uninjured side of her chest. “Just listen.” Lena requested; Kara did as she was told - though her super hearing and the beeping of the monitor in the corner told Kara that Lena’s heart was beating strong and steady, it was nothing compared to feeling it hum under her cheek. “It’s beating for you,” Lena revealed, her voice little more than a whisper muffled by how she pressed her lips to Kara’s forehead, “it's always been beating for you.”

*****

Lena fell asleep not long after but Kara stayed awake until the early hours of the morning… just listening to Lena’s heart and experiencing the regular rise and fall of Lena’s chest with every breath. She slipped out of Lena’s room before dawn, going to shower in the changing rooms before the early morning shift change.

Freshly clean and dressed in clothes that Eliza had brought by, Kara watched the sunrise from the balcony that she had initially heard Lena’s watch calling to her for help. She had returned to the spot whenever she had managed to pull herself away from Lena’s room - her self-flagellation tendency making itself apparent.

“She uses humour to cope.” Alex muttered, moving to stand by Kara’s side as they watched the first peeks of orange appear on the horizon, both blatantly ignoring how the glass was new and that there was a patched up hole in the ceiling above them.

“I know that.” Kara replied.

Alex sighed, resting her forearms on the balcony guard, “There are worse coping methods.”

“I know that too.” Kara acknowledged, pursing her lips and shaking her head. “It’s not about that… not really anyway…”

“Then what’s it about?” Alex inquired.

Kara loved Alex best when she was like this. Encouraging but not overbearing. Guiding but not directing. When she was just her big sister and not her over-burdened protector. She was easy to talk to like this and this version of her had been coming to the forefront more and more with Kelly’s gentle love and care.

“She’s laughing to deal with incredible trauma.” Kara summarised before turning to look at her sister and asking the question that had been plaguing her the most, “But why are we laughing?”

“Because she wanted us to.” Alex answered simply.

“Yeah,” Kara agreed, mouth twisting into a bitter smile, “she wanted us to but she needed us not to more… she needed us to help her… and we just laughed.” Alex cringed at that but she fully flinched at the question that came next. “If it was me that was getting assassination attempts every week… what would you have done?”

Alex closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, fortifying herself for the truth she was about to announce, “I would have taken the world apart to find and stop whoever was doing it.”

“Yeah…” Kara said quietly, there wasn’t much else to say. “I’m not going to apologise for yelling.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“We need to do something.”

“I know…” Alex agreed, turning her back to the sun that was halfway to fully risen, “whilst you were watching over Lena, I may have started on something that might help.”

“So that’s where you’ve been,” Kara hummed thoughtfully, “I figured you were avoiding me.”

“I was.” Alex admitted readily, much to Kara’s surprise. “Well, not you. Lena.” Alex corrected, “I couldn’t face her until I had something… done something.”

“She misses you.” Kara revealed.

“Why?” Alex murmured sadly, “I was a terrible friend.”

“You’ve made up for it.” Kara refuted, nudging her sister’s side comfortingly.

“Have I?” Alex scoffed, unconvinced but happily leaning into her sister now that the gap between them had been bridged.

“That’s not for me or you to decide. It’s for Lena. And she misses you.” Kara asserted, giving Alex a moment to consider what she had said before dropping her own truth-bomb, “I told her I was in love with her.”

Alex whirled round to face her, loudly and joyfully exclaiming, “You did?”

“Yeah.” Kara winced, shyly rubbing the back of her neck, “You knew?”

“Not until recently.” Alex tutting at her own blindness, “I should have seen it earlier.”

“I didn’t want you to. I wasn’t ready to deal with it yet and you’ve always made me brave.”

Alex smiled at that, “How did it go?”

“Good.” Kare coughed, blushing profusely, “She… uh… loves me too.”

“That I’d known for a while.” Alex chuckled. “Are you two-”

“Uh… kind of? We’re acknowledging it but not acting on it.”

Alex’s brow creased at the lack of certainty to her answer, “What? Why?”

“Lena needs time to recover. And after everything,” Kara frowned, “I don’t think a little time to do that is too much to ask.”

“Responsible decision.” Alex complimented.

“Kelly’s advice.” Kara divulged.

Alex’s smile expanded to a proud grin. “Unsurprising.”

“Come on,” Kara ordered, clapping her hands together before slinging an arm around her sister’s shoulders, “show me what you’ve been working on, then you better go see Lena.”

*****

Two gunshot wounds, one to the torso and one to the right thigh, as well as two broken ribs, a black eye, stitches to her lip and her skin turned into an homage to Jackson Pollock by different shaded bruising. Lena catalogued the injury rundown given to her by the doctor with little interest; she paid even less attention to her treatment plan, the medication schedule and the intensive physiotherapy her leg would require.

All she really wanted was to get back to work; if Kara wasn’t there shooting her stern glares everytime Lena’s gaze wandered, the CEO would have happily been replying to emails on her phone as the Doctor lectured away.

“Did you even listen to any of that?” Kara asked once the doctor had taken his leave.

“I heard his name…” Lena grumbled, phone already in hand and frown settling in as she reviewed the most recent email from her marketing head who still hadn’t quite got it through their thick skull that weapons were no longer their main focus.

“And what was it?” Kara questioned, her phone vanishing from her hands with a flash of superspeed.

Lena huffed out a disgruntled breath. “It was...”

“It was?” Kara prompted, arms crossed over her chest, foot tapping the floor angrily whilst her nostrils flared.

Lena pursed her lips, schooling her expression to hide just how attractive she found a stern Kara to be. “It’s on the tip of my tongue.” Lena said slowly, playing desperately for time. “Doctor…” Kara merely arched an eyebrow at her. “Smith?”

“Not even close.”

“Damn…” Lena muttered with a pout.

“Lena,” Kara began with a sad shake of her head as she moved to sit on the edge of Lena’s bed.

“Ugh, you’re about to lecture me too, aren’t you?” Lena groaned.

“Lena, this is important.” Kara stressed. “Your treatment is important. Your health is important.” Kara’s blue eyes shone with love and Lena couldn’t quite meet her gaze. “You are important.”

Their confession of love still hung heavy between them despite Lena not explicitly saying the words in return. It should have marked a huge change in their relationship but it was lost amongst the tidal wave that had come before it, put on pause until the wake from the assassination attempt had dissipated enough for Lena to catch her breath.

“Fine…” Lena relented, reaching out to take Kara’s hand, gaze still shy and ducked. “I assume you were listening then?”

“Of course, I was. It was about you.” Kara replied so honest and sincere that Lena’s heart audibly fluttered on the heart monitor producing a smug smirk on the blonde’s face.

“Go on then, tell me.”

“Will you actually listen to me?” Kara checked, tilting her head to the side.

Lena lifted her head and met Kara’s eyes with a steady gaze of her own, “Of course, I will. It’s you talking.”

*****

The strangest thing about it all was the attention.

And for once it wasn’t negative media attention.

It was Kara and the Superfriends, they were being attentive. Lena hadn’t spent a single minute alone since she had woken up in the DEO hospital bed. Kara had been there the most to start with, her time in Lena’s room decreasing significantly a couple of days after the kind-of-confession (Lena assumed Kara was giving her some breathing room) but she was always present for any appointments and back for dinner, sleeping by her side in the decent-sized hospital bed. As Kara’s time decreased, the other Superfriends tagged in to fill the gap.

Brainy joined her most mornings for games of chess and to talk through some of the sticking points in Lena’s inventions. Nia covered the afternoons, filling the room with light and happy conversation, regaling her with stories of silly work disputes and helping her with her hair and make-up, teasing her like a little sister would when she mentioned wanting to look nicer for Kara.

Kelly would slot in every now and again but she made Lena uneasy, she looked at Lena like she could see right through her armour and it unsettled her. Her usual attempts to crack through awkwardness with a dry comment didn’t seem to faze Kelly and Lena’s obvious discomfort resulted in Kelly staying away for the most part; whenever, she did leave though she always made it clear that Lena could call her if she ever wanted to talk.

Lena pretended she didn’t know what Kelly was hinting at.

Eliza was the biggest surprise. Ever since Lena failed to listen to any of her doctors, Kara had clearly ratted her out to the oldest Danvers prompting the Doctor to personally take over Lena’s care, somehow innately knowing that Lena wouldn’t be able to ignore her like she did all the others. Eliza was a near constant presence in Lena’s room, reading through a pile of medical journals and historical romance fiction that Lena was slowly becoming tempted to borrow as time passed.

Alex was still a complete no-show.

Lena tried not to let it bother her.

Her and Alex had always had a tumultuous relationship - built on distrust and dislike at first sight. Kara had been their bridge and mediator. They had grown past it, grown to trust and like one another as time passed. It had been hard-fought compared to the easiness (Supergirl secret fallout notwithstanding) of their individual relationships with Kara. It was precious because of that.

Alex coming to see her with a bottle of whiskey, after defeating Leviathan and Lex being thrown back in jail, ready to fight to rebuild their friendship all over again was one of Lena’s dearest memories. Alex was the only one to reach out to her first after everything. Lena had to make the first move with Kara, Brainy and Nia. She had been too afraid of Alex to reach out, thinking their friendship would never recover… Alex had proved her wrong.

But now… Alex was avoiding her.

And Lena didn’t really know why, though a small voice in her head told her that Alex just simply didn’t care about her enough to visit…

“Did you have a good day?” Kara asked, stepping out of the ensuite bathroom dressed in cosy pyjamas, shuffling over to the side of Lena’s bed that had become her own.

“You don’t already know with your litany of spies?” Lena remarked, turning the page of her book with a single accusing finger.

“What-” Kara began, brow creased with confusion.

“I don’t think there is a single minute of my day that is not covered by one of your friends.” Lena revealed, snapping her book shut and shooting the blonde an arched eyebrow. “I can’t sneeze without someone already on hand holding out a handkerchief.”

“They’re worried about you.” Kara reminded her softly as she settled next to Lena, arm immediately finding its place around Lena’s waist and gently encouraging her to lie down beside her. “And they’re your friends, Lena.”

“Sure.” Lena tutted unconvinced.

Kara’s pliant body that Lena had become used to snuggling into became stiff and tense. “Do you think they are only here because I asked them to be?”

Lena rolled her eyes, perking her head up to look into sharp, unamused blue eyes, “Are you seriously telling me they’re not?”

“Lena,” Kara said, slow and serious, “they’re here because they care about you. Because they nearly lost you and they… they don’t want to be away from you.”

Lena stared into the deep blue eyes she adored and saw only earnestness reflected in them.

“Oh…” Lena breathed, her heart squeezing tight in her chest desperately trying to contain the swell of emotion that had just flooded it. “I didn’t realise...”

“We love you, Lena.” Kara whispered, her free hand reaching out to tuck stray locks of raven hair behind Lena’s ear. “You’re going to have to get used to us being around.”

“Hmm…” Lena hummed, cheeks blushing a pretty pink at Kara’s tender touch and the realisation that came with finding you have family. Lena buried her face in Kara’s shoulder, suddenly shy and embarrassed - Kara didn’t tease her for it, simply gave Lena the comfort and sanctity she craved.

They were quiet for a long time, the hum of the machines and welcome darkness of the room lulling them both to sleep. It wasn’t until Kara’s breath had started to deepen that Lena found the courage to ask about what had been weighing heavy on her.

“And Alex?” Lena murmured, breaking the silence and calm with those two words.

Kara’s deep, even breaths faltered. “She’s still not been by?” Kara asked carefully; Lena shook her head slightly, not trusting her voice to remain steady. “Well… ummm… she’s busy…”

“Yeah… of course…” Lena replied, letting out a sad sigh before falling into another troubled sleep.

*****

“You look like shit.”

Not exactly the first words she was expecting to hear from the older Danvers after a three week absence but Lena had known it would be something along those lines.

It was Lena’s last day in the DEO hospital room that had been her resting place since she woke up from the attempt on her life. Kara and Eliza were taking her back to her apartment that afternoon - both of whom were going to be taking up residence in Lena’s apartment alongside Sam and Ruby who were already staying there to support Lena’s long-term recovery.

Lena folded her hands carefully in her lap as she studied the redhead leaning against the doorway. “You don’t look much better.” Lena said after a long pause, arching a curious eyebrow at the dark shadows beneath Alex’s eyes.

“Touche.” Alex acknowledged with a dip of her head that gave her an excuse to keep her gaze directed to the floor when she asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Alex, you…” Lena stopped, grinding her teeth together in frustration before shaking her head, “You really don’t need to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend.” Lena answered simply, shooting the hesitant agent a melancholic smile. “Force yourself to be here. I assume Kara guilt-tripped you into being here.”

“Kara didn’t-” Alex began only to stop abruptly at the sight of the unimpressed glare directed her way. “Okay, she might have encouraged me.” Alex admitted, scuffing her toes against the floor in the exact same way Kara did whenever she was guilty of eating the last bit of Lena’s ice cream. “She can be pretty intimidating when it comes to you.” Alex’s eyes twinkled in a blatant attempt to get them to bond, to seal over the cracks between them with cellophane.

Normally, Lena would accept it. Would laugh and blush knowingly, giving Alex the free pass she was angling for.

That was before she nearly died and her second closest friend after Kara couldn’t be bothered to stop by for five minutes until the day she would be allowed to leave the only place they shared.

“Well, I’ll tell her you came by, so don’t worry.” Lena replied politely with a single nod of her head.

Alex flinched at the coolness of Lena’s response, “Lena… I…”

“Alex, I nearly died.” Lena stated bluntly, the truth of it like the swing of a reaper’s blade between them. “If what I overheard from some of the agents is true… I did die.” Lena chuckled darkly to herself at the sheer absurdity of it all, “I nearly die once a week, sometimes more. My life expectancy is incredibly short - don’t tell Kara that, though.” Lena quickly requested, she’d seen how much all of this had affected the blonde and she didn’t want to pile onto her pain. “I don’t think about it because if I do…” Lena trailed off, her gaze turning distant as she whispered, “I don’t think about it. What I’m trying to say is…” Lena exhaled deeply, letting go of her charged emotions and in a far more real way letting go of all expectations of friendship when it came to the older Danvers. “I don’t need to be around people that don’t want to be around me.”

“Lena.” Alex croaked from the door.

Lena didn’t look at her. Didn’t want to see the effect of her honesty.

So, instead, Lena reached out for the book on the bedside table, flipped it open and promised with a brusque business tone, “I’ll tell Kara you stopped by.”

*****

The return back to her apartment was a welcome shift, having grown sick of the sight of her hospital room’s four walls after the first day of waking up there. Lena was happy to be back in her own space but after a day that’s where the joy ended.

Being back in her apartment acutely reminded her of her current lack of independence.

She was no longer awake at six for work like she used to be, her injuries and medication making her sleep long and late into the day. Then when she was awake she found herself groggy and fatigued.

She couldn’t get up and make breakfast for herself, she couldn’t shower without support, she couldn’t focus for long without her attention drifting. Her penthouse was abuzz with life and activity in a way that it had never been before but she found she couldn’t quite enjoy it to its fullest with how she jumped at every loud sound and struggled to keep herself awake for the length of a film.

That wasn’t the worst part though...

There had been a certain safety and security that had come with being at the DEO: surrounded by armed agents that were there to keep her safe, her super-powered friends just a couple of corridors away at all times.

That’s not to say her apartment wasn’t secure.

It was probably more secure than the DEO with biometric locks, bulletproof glass and a panic room that could probably survive armageddon. And if that wasn’t enough, she currently went to sleep with one of the most highly regarded Doctors in the country as well as one of her best friends who would fight tooth and nail for her staying in her guest rooms and to top it off, she had Supergirl curled up around her every night.

The panic attacks started when she had returned to the apartment and her medication dosage had been decreased enough to lift the fog on her mind and allow the dark thoughts and fears to seep in under the cover of darkness.

She managed to hide it, mostly due to luck more than anything else.

Kara was out for most of the day still, off doing who knew what - the kryptonian had been particularly secretive about her recent activities - and Lena had managed to request privacy when she felt an attack starting that Sam and Ruby were always quick to acquiesce to.

She just needed to get past this, she just needed to push the fear, that she had kept tightly sealed in a little box in some far-flung corner of her mind, back into the abyss it belonged in.

If she could do that…

She just didn’t want to be afraid anymore, not when she had so many good things in her life, like her new bedtime routine...

“And anyway long story short…” Kara grinned, as she lifted Lena gently into the bed, tucking the sheets lovingly around her, “he gave me a camel.”

Lena chuckled, pressing a quick appreciative kiss to Kara’s cheek that had the blonde ducking her head bashfully. “I’m assuming you didn’t keep it.”

Kara winced, admitting weakly, “I kept it for like a week. It destroyed my apartment. Destroyed.” Kara stressed with a horror-struck expression.

“Really?” Lena prompted as Kara supersped to turn out the lights, change into her pyjamas and get into bed by Lena’s side.

“You remember when you popped round to my apartment for lunch one day and you thought there was a gas leak because of the smell?” Kara asked, holding out an arm for Lena to curl herself up under.

“Yeah?”

“Camel.”

“Huh.” Lena muttered thoughtfully, “I thought you were just having really bad flatulence.”

Kara gasped in shock and disbelief, “And you still wanted to hang out with me?”

Lena shrugged, licking her lips before declaring simply, “I’m in love with you.”

It was the first time she had properly said the words.

“I… umm… I…” Kara stammered incoherently, her entire face turning a lovely shade of tomato. “You like making me all flustered, don’t you?” Kara groaned.

“Yes.” Lena answered honestly, “Until I can…” Lena’s smile dimmed momentarily at the reminder that she was still not quite ready for that next step, “it’s the only thing I can do right now.”

“There’s no rush.” Kara assured, even as Lena heard a small clock ticking in her mind, counting down to the next inevitable bullet she would have to dodge.

*****

Lena had learned to be quiet from a young age.

She was told firmly that screams and cries and whimpers were not acceptable. That her nightmares did not warrant waking the house, did not warrant shaming the Luthor name with her tears and her petty fears.

Lena taught herself to wake with a mere sigh whilst her throat clenched tightly to hold in the shout of desperation that wished to escape.

Lena taught herself to sleep motionlessly, to not toss and turn as her dreamed body clawed and swam through a syrupy atmosphere whilst shadowy figures relentlessly hunted her down.

Lena taught herself to hide her nightmares from a young age - it was easy enough to do, she got a lot of practice in the Luthor Mansion and she had regularly brushed up on these skills since she started dodging bullets every other day.

No one would ever know the horrors that plagued her at night as long as Lena had her way.

What she didn’t count on was that the horrors could grow and mutate into terrors far worse than anything she had ever experienced.

For the first time since she was child, Lena awoke with a blood-curdling scream, her entire body trembling and skin clammy with cold sweat.

“Lena, you’re okay. You’re okay.” A soft voice soothed, warm arms wrapping gently around Lena to prevent her from causing harm to herself with her frantic movements. “Shh… you’re okay.”

“I… I…” Lena cried, shaking her head to clear the nightmare veil still shrouding her mind.

“You’re okay. You’re okay.” Kara repeated endlessly, each utterance just as soft and gentle as all the others.

“Kara…” Lena croaked, burying herself in Kara’s warmth and forcing the kryptonian’s arms to wrap even more around her. It was the fear that made her honest whilst the pain of her constantly aching body made the words tumble out even easier, “I’m… scared. I don’t want to die. I don’t…”

The pliable cocoon made of Kryptonian muscle hardened to steel in an instant at the confession. The murmured words of comfort ceased and Kara’s breath went from light and even to deep and irregular.

“Lena, you’re not going to die.” Kara whispered harshly, the words cold and vicious - but not towards Lena, never towards Lena - as if she could intimidate away any and all threats just by speaking it into existence. “You’re not.”

“This time.” Lena muttered, timidly reaching out to hold Kara with her own hands as she ducked her head under Kara’s chin.

“Lena?”

“I’m not going to die this time.” Lena breathed, “What about the next one? And the one after that and after that and… It never stops. And I don’t- I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be scared all the time. I want to be excited and happy because you love me.” Lena’s hands clutch handfuls of Kara’s pyjama shirt with white knuckles. “But all I’m thinking about is: how little time we have. How stupid it is to get into a relationship when I know the odds - because they offer them on a number of mainstream betting sites - of me making it to the next year is slim to none.”

Silence followed Lena’s speech, heavy and suffocating. Lena held her breath waiting for the kryptonian to reply.

The lightest touch of lips to Lena’s forehead allowed her to breathe out slow and steady.

“You are not dying.” Kara declared sternly.

“I’m just scared…” Lena sighed, snuggling closer to the blonde encouraging the lips to press repeatedly against her brow until the lines creasing it eased away, “all the time, Kara. All the time.”

They fell asleep entangled together - if Lena had been more with it she would have tried to get Kara to re-position herself into a more comfortable position, not that Kara would have been persuaded, unwilling to move an inch if it distanced her in any way from the youngest Luthor.

Lena awoke the next day to gentle fingers brushing through her hair, enticing her back to the real world that was illuminated by the bright morning sun. Kara was up and dressed, sat on the edge of the bed, running one hand through Lena’s hair and intermittently stroking her cheek whilst her other hand balanced a tray loaded up with pancakes, strawberries and orange juice.

“Mmmm…” Lena hummed happily, turning her head to press a quick kiss to Kara’s palm.

“Breakfast.” Kara announced cheerily, helping Lena sit up before placing the tray carefully on her lap and pressing a kiss to Lena’s blushing cheek.

Lena took a deep breath, taking time to appreciate the sheer beauty of this singular moment: the woman she loved sat next to her with an adoring look having made her favourite for breakfast. She wanted to be able to enjoy this without feeling like damocles’ sword was looming above her at all times.

“Kara?” Lena murmured, reaching out to interlace their fingers, seeking support.

“Yeah?”

Lena swallowed thickly, squeezed Kara’s hand once, and asked, “Can you ask Kelly to pop by? When she has a chance that is.”

“Of course.” Kara beamed, lifting their joined hands to kiss the back of Lena’s hand, her blue eyes shining with pride.

“I want to be excited. I don’t want to live in fear.”

*****

It was a few days later when Lena found herself alone for the first time in over a month. Kara was out during the day as usual, Sam and Ruby were out at the cinema enjoying some mother-daughter time whilst Eliza had left for a walk five minutes ago. Lena was working through some calculations at the dining room table - Eliza had positioned her wheelchair at the table and left her a warm cup of coffee to tide her over until she got back.

Admittedly, Lena probably should’ve realised that it was all a ploy because barely ten minutes had passed before the front door swung open and in strode one Agent Danvers.

Lena placed her pen back onto the table and quirked a perplexed eyebrow at the redhead, “Alex? What are you doing here?”

“I’m kidnapping you.” Alex declared with a smirk and cocked hip.

Lena pursed her lips, musing thoughtfully, “And here I thought if you ever did kidnap me, you wouldn’t be so open about it…”

Alex frowned, “You’ve thought about me kidnapping you?”

“Not you per se.” Lena explained with a wave of her hand before rolling her temporary wheelchair out from the table and over to her intruder, “The DEO or some other covert government agency grabbing me and hiding me away in some dark cell.”

“That…” Alex began, her intent to deny the possibility of such a scenario occurring dying after a single moment’s consideration. Lena chuckled sadly at the guilty brown eyes that dipped away from her gaze. “Nevermind.” Alex murmured, shaking her head and forcing back her usual confident swagger. “There’s something you need to see.”

“Alex-” Lena sighed, not really in the mood for whatever Alex had planned.

Suddenly Alex was in front of her, knelt down - not to patronise but to easily reach out for Lena’s hands.

“You’re probably my best friend,” Alex announced, firm and beautifully honest (a signature Danvers trait), “not counting Kara or Kelly. But Kara loves me as a sister above everything else. Kelly loves me as a romantic partner above everything else. You are my friend with no other requirements, no other levels… nothing else.”

“Alex, I…” Lena blinked, utterly taken aback.

“You are my friend and I love you.” Alex assured, her expression turning pained and remorseful, “You are my best friend and you nearly died and I realised that I… I haven’t been a very good friend. I was so mean to you to start with. For no fair reason.” Lena bit her lip and stared down at their joined hands, unable to hide how the constant hatred for crimes she did not commit (actively stopped) had left deep and everlasting wounds that she would probably never recover from. “And then when I finally started to pull my head out of my ass… I never apologised, I never… I just smoothed over it.”

Alex cringed with the memories but pushed onwards regardless - admirably brave and stubborn to a fault.

“When the Supergirl fallout happened, I knew you were suffering.” Alex admitted causing Lena to flinch in surprise and nearly pull away but Alex’s hold gently followed after her. “If it was me in your position, I would have… I would have destroyed so much and I was raised in a family filled with support and love and… I knew you were suffering but I… I just didn’t think. You’re always so strong and unbreakable that I just didn’t think. You’re my best friend and I have not treated you like that.”

“Alex,” Lena swallowed thickly, hanging her head in shame, “what I did during that time… I’m so ashamed.”

“You’re missing the point, Lena.” Alex murmured, “I didn’t mean to-” Alex exhaled shakily, rapidly blinking away tears on the cusp of falling. “You’ve made up for it. Now it's my turn.”

“You have nothing to make up for.” Lena rushed to reassure as Alex stood back up, chin held high and determined.

“Yes, I do.” Alex insisted. “Assassination attempts every week, Lena. That is not okay. A short life expectancy for my best friend is not okay.” Alex’s hands clenched into tight fists by her sides. “I should have done something.”

“It’s not your responsibility.”

Alex grinned bright and defiant, “It is now.”

*****

“Alex, what’s going on?” Lena said slowly, not really sure what she was watching play out on the screens in the DEO command centre.

Alex merely winked at the CEO as she stepped up to the console and called out, “Supergirl, how are things going?”

“Good.” Kara replied, her voice coming through loud and clear through the speakers. Lena watched in awe - as always - of Kara flying through the air, swerving around traffic like it was nothing. “Rounding up the last few stragglers; they thought they could outrun me in a van which has a max speed of like sixty.” Lena laughed at the stupidity of the escape attempt which immediately alerted the superhero to her presence. “Is Lena there?”

“Yep,” Alex replied with a broad grin, wiggling her eyebrows at the youngest Luthor making her blush a bright red, “so you better put on a good show for your girl.”

“Will do.” Kara promised instantly, accelerating and performing aerial aerobatic maneuvers with the sole purpose of impressing only one person.

Lena shook her head, her heart swelling with affection, as she rolled her eyes at Alex’s smug smile. “What’s the mission?” Lena asked, trying to regain some of her composure.

Alex’s smugness faded to be replaced with something far softer at the question.

“Shutting down the final CADMUS outpost.” Alex answered, crossing her arms and nodding over to Brainy who brought a map of the world covered in hundreds of red dots. “We took down any and all remaining Leviathan supporters last week. Lex supporters the week before that.” The red dots flashed to highlight the different groupings as Alex listed them off. “We’ve also finished gathering evidence on Edge, he’s going to be arrested alongside his allies first thing in the morning.”

Lena’s mouth had dropped open at some point and there was a light buzzing in her ears as stared blankly at the crossed off red dots. “I don’t understand.”

“CADMUS took a little longer just because of the sheer number of bases and how they decentralised after Lex was taken down, each working independently.” Alex continued unperturbed.

“Then how-”

“Lillian. She told us where all the bases are.” Alex answered without needing to hear the whole question.

That cut through Lena’s stupor in an instant and wrenched an almighty gasp from her. “What? Why?”

Alex’s expression turned melancholic yet again, clearly upset that the answer wasn’t obvious to Lena, that there had to be a more-than-love-reason. “Because you’re her daughter and you nearly died.”

“I don’t…”

Alex turned so her back was to the wall of red dots, hands on hips and unfaltering in the face of adversity. “No more assassination attempts. No more short life expectancy.” Alex asserted, waving a hand towards the screen. “This. All of this. You deserve this. You deserve to grow old. You deserve to not live in a constant state of fear. You deserve to be happy in love.” Alex’s jaw clenched noticeably as brown eyes shone with a watery film, “We should have done this years ago. We should have protected you years ago. We should never have laughed, Lena.”

“Alex…” Lena exhaled roughly, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to keep in the sobs, feeling so overwhelmed with love and gratitude. “Thank you.”

Alex didn’t acknowledge the words, she merely walked over to Lena and pulled her into a tight hug, providing her a much needed shoulder to cry on.

*****

“Did I mention how much I hate physical therapy?” Lena huffed through gritted teeth.

“Oh you know…” Alex replied with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, “just about every minute or so.”

Lena hummed, somewhat pleased at the answer, “I thought it was more than that.”

“Suck it up, Luthor.” Alex teased even as she got a bottle of water ready for Lena once she’d finished the exercises.

“Remind me again-...” Lena panted, “why I agreed that you could accompany me to PT instead of Kara?”

“You need tough love.” Alex answered, repeating the words Lena had used a week prior when she had requested Alex’s help. “You’d never finish a single exercise if Kara was helping you.”

Lena pursed her lips but didn’t argue.

Kara was loving, affectionate and probably the best support system Lena had ever had. She cared for Lena in a thousand and one ways that Lena had never believed she was worthy of. Unfortunately, all this made Kara the absolutely worst person to accompany her to physical therapy. At the first wince or sign of discomfort, Kara insisted Lena rest and take it easy. She barely made it five minutes through the session before Kara was escorting her back to the apartment to give her a bath and massage - Lena loved every second of it but accepted Kara would not be going with her to the next appointment.

“Not really seeing that as a downside at present.” Lena admitted, her muscles burning as they were steadily rebuilt and restrengthened.

“The sooner you finish PT, the sooner you can get around by yourself.” Alex reminded her knowing it was the single best incentive to get the CEO through this.

“Good point.” Lena acknowledged groaning as she pushed herself through the last rep. As soon as she finished, Alex talked her through recovery, handing her water to sip slowly from before checking her recovered injuries and scars.

“Hey Alex…” Lena began, shifting nervously as her breathing returned to normal.

“Yeah?” Alex prompted, arching an eyebrow having picked up on Lena’s odd tone.

Lena opened her mouth to speak before snapping it decisively shut, “Nevermind.”

“Don’t go shy on me now, Luthor.” Alex remarked, helping Lena unsteadily to her feet and guiding her over to a bench in the DEO training hall where they had been working out.

Lena nibbled on her bottom lip, and glanced at Alex’s profile. “I want to ask Kara out on a date.”

“That’s great.” Alex cheered immediately before quirking her head to the side, “What’s the problem?”

“I know I’ve been…” Lena winced, “hesitant.”

“Lena,” Alex said softly, “you’re recovering from serious physical, emotional and mental trauma.”

“But-”

“And despite all that…” Alex continued, settling into her role as cheerleader and confidant with ease, “you’re still taking Kara’s feelings into consideration. Despite everything you’ve been through you’re still being sensible and thoughtful. You’re not kickstarting a relationship until you’re sure you can give it the best chance.”

“You and Kelly have been talking about this.” Lena guessed.

“A little.” Alex answered only slightly rueful, “You’re my best friend and Kara’s my sister. It comes up in conversation.”

Lena chuckled at that, nudging Alex’s side playfully before announcing, “I think I’m ready.”

“That’s great.” Alex said just as enthusiastically as before, “So I’ll repeat, what’s the problem?”

“I don’t…” Lena sighed before confessing “I don’t know where to take her. I want to do something special.”

“Are you seriously asking for dating advice with my sister?” Alex questioned.

“You’re my best friend,” Lena shot back, “who else am I going to ask? You saw how Brainy handled dating Nia and well… Nia is dating Brainy...”

“Okay, I see your point.” Alex relented, “Though, when we talk about your dating life, Kara is not my sister.” Alex requested, “Just some random person called Kara.”

“Deal.” Lena accepted. “So…?”

“You don’t need to do anything special, she already loves you.”

“That’s exactly why I want to do something special.” Lena whined, “But I’m kind of limited by the aforementioned trauma…”

“Let’s get a coffee and strategise.” Alex declared, patting Lena’s back supportively. “Come on, you’re buying.”

*****

Lena adjusted the green dress that Nia had taken her shopping for earlier that afternoon, hating how it clashed with the cane she was using to move around with. A small candle lit table was set up on the balcony - Sam and Ruby having kindly moved it earlier - with one of Kara’s favourite homemade dinners, courtesy of Eliza, steaming in the early evening light.

Lena paced, awkwardly awaiting the blonde’s arrival; Alex’s words of advice and support on repeat in her mind to drown out her anxieties.

Kara, for all her patented Kara Danvers clumsiness, was the epitome of gracefulness when it came to flying allowing her to land almost inaudibly on the balcony by Lena’s side taking her by surprise. Lena jerked back at the sudden appearance but a familiar gentle touch to her elbow settled her in an instant.

“Lena? What’s all this?” Kara breathed, eyes darting from Lena’s green dress to the set table as her super suit vanished to be replaced by her standard shirt and chinos,

“Dinner.” Lena replied, swallowing thickly as she reached for Kara’s hand and mumbled shyly. “I mean a… date-dinner-thing. If you want, that is?”

Kara inhaled sharply, blue eyes wide with shock and barely restrained excitement. “I want. I really, really want.” The blonde dashed to the table, pulling out a chair for Lena clearly not keen for any kind of delay.

“Alright then.” Lena chuckled, walking towards Kara’s dazzling smile and everything it offered.

*****

“An hour.” Brainy said, laying down his opening gambit.

“Pfft… an hour, are you serious?” Nia scoffed, “Thirty minutes max.”

“Twenty.” Alex shot back with a challenging lift of her chin.

Nia pursed her lips as she considered Alex’s suggestion. “You’re on.”

The two women shook firmly on it, much to Kelly and Briany’s amusement, just as Kara and Lena walked back from the kitchen loaded up with snacks and drinks.

“What are you guys talking about?” Kara inquired, narrowing her gaze accusingly at her gathered group of friends who had set up shop in her and Lena’s joint apartment for their weekly games night.

Kara had moved in formally two weeks ago following six months of dating during which they had practically lived together for the entirety of it but had been wise enough to keep themselves places that could be just theirs until they were officially ready.

“Nothing.” Nia and Alex answered quickly and in-sync.

“We’re gambling.” Brainy answered guilelessly at the same time.

“On?” Kara asked, dumping the load of snacks in her arms onto the coffee table before crossing her arms whilst Lena laughed lightly as she settled on the couch next to Alex.

“Leave them be, darling.” Lena soothed, tugging gently on Kara’s pocket encouraging her to sit down and lean against Lena’s legs.

“Okay.” The kryptonian muttered, immediately acquiescing to the suggestion, all the fight going out of her as soon as Lena tenderly ran her fingers through blonde locks.

“Whipped.” Alex instantly coughed.

“And proud.” Kara accepted with a shrug, tilting her head to look up at Lena with adoring blue eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Lena replied without hesitation.

“Ugh.” Nia groaned, throwing her head back in exasperation.

Alex held out a hand to the youngest reporter, wiggling her fingers in demand, “Pay up.”

“She didn’t even make it a minute.” Nia exclaimed in disbelief.

Kara’s brow creased in a cross of confusion and outrage, “You were betting on me?”

“Yep.” Alex answered without the slightest sign of guilt. “On how long it takes for you to say ‘I love you’ to Lena.”

“That’s… I…” Kara squawked, mouth flapping open and closed before snapping shut in defeat. “I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s because Lena removes you of all verbal reasoning skills.” Brainy remarked drily.

All eyes swiveled to look at the genius in surprise.

“Did Brainy just make a joke?” Lena asked quietly to no one in particular.

“I think he did.” Nia said slowly.

“Nice one, Brainy.” Alex laughed, lifting her beer bottle up in respect and effectively setting everyone else in the room off with their own chuckles and giggles.

“Laugh as much as you like.” Kara rolled her eyes in amusement, “Doesn’t bother me.”

“Are you sure?” Lena checked, bending down to whisper privately into Kara’s ear, “I can ask them to stop.”

Kara turned to look up at the love of her life, reaching out to tenderly stroke her cheek and ease away the flicker of unnecessary concern.

“I’m sure.” Kara asserted honestly, her smile widening as she leaned up to kiss Lena slow and deep. When they pulled back, foreheads resting against one another, Kara whispered into the shared space between them. “It is kind of funny.”

It’s funny because Kara loves Lena.

It’s funny because Kara will always, always, always love Lena.

#supercorp #supercorp ao3 #supercorp fanfic #lena luthor

[dweetwise]

this was supposed to only be a short scene and instead it turned into a whole-ass chapter, oops <3

word count: 1.2k

[Riconti] Good at pretending (part 6)

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Felix slowly stirred awake to the morning sun filtering in through the curtains.

He groaned in protest and burrowed his face into the pillow, hating the fact that soon he would have to leave the comfort of his bed. There was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind – no doubt reminding him of another deadline to meet or client to call – but he resolutely ignored it. Instead, Felix focused on the warmth of his safe haven under the covers, wrapping an arm around his pillow –

And the pillow hugged him back.

Felix's sleepy thoughts screeched to a halt as the memories came flooding back. His eyes snapped open and the ugly wallpaper of his aunt's guest room left no room for debate; this was very much not Felix's bed, and he was definitely not alone in it.

Looking up and seeing a bottom-down view of Ace's sleeping face only confirmed Felix's fears. He lifted his head from the makeshift pillow – which turned out to be Ace's chest – and was mortified to find a spot of drool soaking the fabric of Ace’s T-shirt. Fortunately Ace was still snoring softly, sprawled out with his limbs going this way and that and with one arm wrapped loosely around Felix's shoulders. The sight would have been endearing if Felix wasn’t so busy freaking out.

Felix glanced around to assess the situation further. To his displeasure, he noticed that though Ace appeared to be a restless sleeper, he had managed to stay on his own side of the bed, proving that Felix had been the one to initiate this… embarrassing act of clinginess. Based on the pillows scattered all around the bed, it became clear that the pillow wall had been no match for Felix. In his sleep, he had somehow managed to cross the entire king-sized bed and work his way through the formidable obstacle of five to seven extra-large pillows.

Just to be close to Ace.

With the fight-or-flight instinct rapidly kicking in, Felix hurried to dislodge himself from Ace. Unfortunately, because they were so ridiculously tangled up together (even Felix's legs were clinging around Ace's!), Ace stirred when Felix unsuccessfully attempted to squirm his way out from around him.

Felix froze, still half on top of Ace, while Ace looked right at him and slowly blinked awake. Felix was very aware of the compromising position but he could do nothing but hold his breath and stare at Ace like a deer caught in the headlights.

Then, finally, Ace gave a lazy smile. "Mornin'."

Ace's voice was rough with sleep and his hair was mussed up in an unfairly attractive way, and for a second Felix feared he was going to go into cardiac arrest.

"I'm so sorry!" Felix nearly choked on his own spit as he pushed away and scrambled to his own side of the bed. "I just woke up, I have no idea how this happened –"

"I do," Ace interrupted, then smirked knowingly. "I think I've figured out your secret."

Felix paled. Of course Ace would know about his feelings, Felix was practically throwing himself into his arms in his sleep like some particularly clingy octopus –

"You're a sleep cuddler!" Ace finished with a victorious smile. "No wonder you were so hesitant to share."

"Ähm… yes," Felix lied. Usually he preferred his space when sleeping, but he was not going to admit that to Ace. "Sorry," he added again, just in case.

"Pfft, don't be sorry," Ace said, sitting up and stretching. "I slept like a baby. Thanks for keeping me warm," he shot Felix a wink.

"I'm –" Felix stammered and bolted out of bed, nearly tripping on the sheets in his haste. "I need to brush my teeth."

“Hey, Felix?”

Felix stopped on the threshold to the bathroom, forcing himself to push through the embarrassment and look back at Ace.

“Yes?”

Rather than comment on his incredible awkwardness, however, Ace merely gave Felix a cursory once-over before offering a sleepy grin. “Nice jammies.”

Felix sputtered something unintelligible and promptly escaped to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him more forcefully than necessary.

Felix turned on the sink and for a minute merely leaned over it, resting his forehead against the cool glass of the bathroom mirror and allowing himself a quiet meltdown.

Now that the immediate danger was over, Felix's pounding heart gave way for the stupid giddiness that always accompanied being near Ace. Though Felix's rational side knew that nothing had happened and that sleep-spooning his unsuspecting friend was bad, another, childish part of him was quick to gush about how happy Ace had looked and how nice it had felt to be held by him.

But it was wrong. Even if Felix had wanted this – god knows he had daydreamed about cuddling up to Ace more times than was healthy, in the last few years – that wasn't his decision to make. And he shouldn't have taken advantage.

Realizing the tap was still running and he had wasted a horrible amount of water, Felix hurried to brush his teeth before hopping into a much overdue shower.

After using up yet more water in a hot shower and spending way too long styling his hair and outfit – mentally patting himself on the back for having had the foresight to hang an outfit in the bathroom in preparation for today – Felix finally returned to the bedroom with a carefully crafted apology ready on his tongue.

Ace perked up as soon as Felix stepped into view. “Good to go?”

Ace had apparently already gotten dressed in his absence. In addition to a simple button-up and tasteful chinos, he was wearing the linen jacket Felix had picked out for him, no doubt to protect himself from the morning chill. It only made Felix extra grateful that he didn't need to have this conversation in his stupid pajamas; it was unfair how Ace could just roll out of bed and look so effortlessly handsome.

“Yes,” Felix says. “Sorry for hogging the bathroom.”

“No worries. I’ll just brush my teeth and we can head out.”

Ace made for the bathroom, keeping the door open while he picked up his toothbrush and the toothpaste. Felix hovered awkwardly nearby before deciding this was a good of a time as any to bring up the subject.

"I’m sorry for… earlier," Felix started.

Predictably, Ace waved off his concerns with nothing but a flourish of his toothbrush. “C’mon, it’s all good. Who doesn’t like a friendly cuddle to start the morning?”

"It’s not ‘all good’,” Felix protested. “Even though I didn’t do it on purpose, it was still inappropriate and you don't have to pretend otherwise."

"I'm telling you, it's fine," Ace said. "It's not like I wasn't hugging you back. Come to think of it, after hanging off of you for all of yesterday, I don't blame our bodies for getting shit confused. It's not a big deal – I really don't mind."

Ace started brushing his teeth and Felix realized that his words pinpointed the exact problem with the situation. Ace didn't mind, but he didn't want this, either – not like Felix.

Felix nodded sharply. "Right. Good."

It was the furthest thing from good.

#riconti #felix richter #ace visconti #felix x ace #dweetwrites #dbd fanfic #dbd #dead by daylight

[luminouspoes]

until the poets run out of rhyme

pairing: poe dameron x f!reader (modern au)

summary: poe and the reader go out for drinks with their friends, but soon have to make a detour in their evening plans. (based on the prompt: if you want to leave, we can)

word count: 4k ~

warnings: swearing, mentions of anxiety, sensory overload

You curl and uncurl your feet, burying your toes into the plush of your carpet, gnawing on your bottom lip as you stare at the dress on your bed. In just under an hour, your long-time best friend Poe Dameron will be showing up to pick you up to take you to Maz’s for drinks with Snap, Jess, Kare and Sura to celebrate Sura’s most recent journalism award. 

You aren't as close to them as you are to Poe - they were more his group of friends rather than your shared one of him, Finn and Rey - but they’d welcomed you with warm arms long ago, much like how your group of friends - Kaydel, Beaumont and Rose - welcomed Poe.

Which means that you really want to go to Maz’s bar and enjoy drinks with him, his friends, and celebrate Sura’s big moment because you know how much ass she kicks at her job and just how hard she's worked to get where she is today. But familiar icy ribbons of anxiety have coiled in your gut, spilling up and twisting around your heart at the idea of going out.

You close your eyes, breathing out slowly. Briefly, you remember something Poe once said, half as a joke, half as a genuine reassurance to himself, and you mumble it out loud to yourself in the empty room, “Happy beeps. You can do this.”

It doesn’t erase your anxiety, but the memory of your best friend is enough to bring a sense of comfort to you, and you grab the dress with a gentle smile on your lips to get dressed. The skirt flares out at your knees, and is a deep shade of red, with a sheer neck and sleeves. It’s comfortable, and once you add a pair of flat heeled ankle boots to the look, you think you’re just about ready.

You grab your purse and duck out of your bedroom into your living room, stopping by the bookcase to make your decision on which book to take. Finn and Rey were at first baffled by this trait of yours (then immediately started joking about how you really were perfect for Poe), but you never left home without a book within reach. Most of the time, you didn’t actually get a chance to even read it, but knowing you had one...helped your nerves. It was like carrying a miniature hug in your purse.

It took you longer than you expected to land on a decision: by the time you’re shoving your selected paperback into your purse, there’s a familiar knock on the door. Your heart does a quick somersault in your chest, and you bound to the door. You peer out the peep-hole, to see Poe standing in the hallway, waving a cheeky hello in your direction.

You grin as you unlatch the door, opening it with a swing. Your greeting flees from your mind as you take in the sight of him. It’s not so different from his usual attire, but he’s ditched his usual tee-shirt and beat-up leather flight jacket for a black button-up and black leather jacket. The jeans, however, are the same.

“Wow,” Poe breathes, beating you to the compliment as he gawks at you. “You look...really pretty.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks as you duck your head, giving a slight twirl so the skirt will flare out around you as you spin. When you come back to a stop in front of him, Poe’s still got that gobsmacked expression on your face that sends butterflies soaring in your gut. “You think?”

“I know,” Poe affirms, composing himself. “You ready for this?”

You nod once, “Just let me get my purse, I forgot it on the counter. You can come in, you know. You don’t have to wait outside every time, you’re not a vampire.” You don’t look behind you as you move through your apartment, but you hear the door click behind Poe as he follows.

“I could be, you don’t know for sure.” Poe calls. 

You bark a laugh as you pull your purse over your shoulder, twisting to face him as he crosses the room to you. “Mhm, I’ve seen you doing your hair in the mirror before, you have a reflection. You love the sunlight, and you always eat the garlic bread I make when we have dinner parties.” 

“I could be a recent vampire?” Poe tries with a lopsided smile, and you giggle again. His eyes light up at the sound; he loves hearing your laugh but especially loves it when he’s the cause of it. He’ll be purposely ridiculous for it any day of the week. “Got your book?” 

You pull it from your bag to show him the cover, and he clicks his tongue appreciatively, “Good taste.” 

"I always have good taste in books.”

Poe hums in response, taking a step closer to you. Moments like these come easily, where the rest of the world just...fades away until it’s just the two of you. It drives your friends up a wall, but you couldn’t care less when Poe looks at you like you’re his whole world and his lips are quirked up in a little bit of a smirk as he banters back. “I don’t know about,” he says in a low tone, dragging his gaze from the cover back up to your face and you swear for just a moment he pauses on your lips, "you like horror novels.”

Your heart thundering against your ribcage for a much different reason now, you fight to keep your eyes in a safe zone. The way he’s looking at you makes every possible response you could normally think of fly right out of your mind, as your mouth goes dry. Finally, you take another step forward, challenging him with a smirk of your own, "That’s because I’m not afraid to read them like some people, Dameron.”

“I’m not afraid,” Poe protests automatically, the argument a familiar one, but neither of you are really focused on running through the motions of it right now.

The room seems to crackle with energy and potential around you, and part of you so desperately wants to take that leap, but the other half is terrified that if you do, then you’ll lose this magic, this friendship you’ve nurtured with Poe for the last five years. So you dip your head at the last second, folding first. 

Breaking out of his own trance, Poe takes a slight step back before he holds out his arm to you, “Ready?”

There’s that spike of nerves again, but you brave through it, nod once and loop your arm through his. “Let’s rock and roll,”  you hesitate just a moment as you think of the moment before and how easily the two of you still managed to fall into each other’s personal space again. Maybe you really don’t have anything to worry about. “Oh and Poe?”

“Yeah?” He asks as you step out into the hallway, cocking his head towards you.

“You look pretty wow too,” you tell him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his stubbled cheek. 

-

It goes well, for the most part. The others grabbed a booth in the corner of the bar, placing you away from the brunt of the noise and crowd. You knew this wasn’t a coincidence: Snap, Kare, Jess and Sura were always accommodating for your anxiety, and it wasn’t as though they didn’t have their own to contend with either. 

Poe leads you to the booth with a hand on the small of your back, a wide grin on his face as he nears his friends. You drink in the sight of his joy, as you do every time you meet up with them, in between reunion hugs with everyone. Then, the two of you settle into one side of the booth, you at the wall and Poe sliding in next to you, his arm winding around behind you on the back of the seat, as he always did, but you surprise him by keeping one hand on his thigh the entire time. 

The conversation comes easily between the six of you, laughter flooding through the corner as you knock back cheers for Suralinda’s accomplishments. By the time you’re halfway through your first (and only) drink, you’ve nearly forgotten about your apprehension. 

It comes back quickly before you hit the bottom of the glass when a new, far rowdier group enters the bar. They aren’t doing anything malicious, but their loud rumbles and hollers are too much combined with the rustle of silverware and clinking of glasses and the noise of the pool table and the radio blaring above, and the tv stationed by Maz’s bar.

You tense up as you try to tune out the rest of the noise to focus on your friends, but you can already feel your nerves beginning to fray, and you just want to run away to somewhere quiet, and that only frustrates you more because you want to be here, in this corner and -

“Hey,” Poe’s voice was but a concerned whisper to get your attention and it cuts through some of the haze in your mind. You turn to him, opening your mouth to...say what you have no idea, but recognition flashes behind his eyes. Poe has an incredible sense for when you’re getting overwhelmed. “If you want to leave, we can.” 

You want to protest, because you’ve barely spent any time here, but before you can, someone drops a glass from across the room and you jump at the sound. “Alright,” Poe says as he locks eyes with Jess, tilting his head toward the door and jerking his thumb in your direction as Snap, Kare and Suralinda continue their argument over a show they all watch. Jess nods in understanding, and then Poe’s standing up and offering you his hand.

You take it after a beat of hesitance, and then he guides you away from all the noise, back outside toward his car. He was one of two designated sober drivers of the night - Snap being the other one.

You slide into the passenger seat, Poe closing the door behind you, before coming around to sit in the driver’s seat. He twists around to face you. He wants to reach out for you, but he knows sometimes touch can make things worse when you’re overwhelmed. “Better?” he asks.

“Yeah, thank you. Sorry for messing up the evening.” You tilt your head back against the seat-rest, eyes closing with exhaustion. This is far from the first time you’ve all had to cut an evening short or take a breather from things, but still...you were hoping tonight would go by smoothly for the celebration.

“You didn’t mess anything up,” Poe assures you, giving you a pained look that you miss. He hates how you blame yourself for things that aren’t even your fault, how you seem to think taking care of you is some horrible burden he and the others have to deal with. He can’t even begin to count how many times you’ve taken care of him when he needed it, how in the last five years, you’ve come to understand and know him in ways that so few could, that you knew exactly what to do to calm and ground him. 

How many times had you held him after he woke up from a nightmare while you were staying at his apartment, or him at yours? How many mornings had he woken up feeling safe and loved, still in your arms in the morning light? He could only hope he made you feel the same way. “We’ve all had a great time already, we got to celebrate Suralinda’s big moment, and if you want, when you’re ready, we can go back in for more fun - and if you’re not up for that, then that’s okay, too.”

You exhale deeply, focusing on his words and the sincerity behind them. You know it’s true - really, you do. You know it’s not as big of a deal as your brain is trying to make it out to be, you know that your brain can lie to you, make shit up that simply isn’t true to make you feel alone, but sometimes it’s hard to rationalize through that, sometimes it’s hard to remember what’s true and what isn’t.

But Poe knows that.

You turn your head to face him; Poe’s half washed in golden light from an overhead streetlight, half cloaked in shadows, and the smile on his lips is rueful. You don’t know how you lucked out at having such an amazing best friend in your life, but you’re suddenly choked up with some soft, overpowering emotion as you realize - not for the first time - how much he means to you.

You duck your head. “Thank you, for always having my back.”

Poe reaches out for you, catching your wrist lightly and his touch burns in the most wonderful way as he grazes his palm down over yours, interlocking your fingers together. “Thank you for the same,” he tells you, before adding with a lopsided smile, “what are best friends for, right?”

You shake your head, a laugh bubbling from your lips before you can help it, and you echo his words in agreement, “What are best friends for?” 

-

You head back into Maz’s long enough to say goodbye to everyone and congratulate Sura again, and then you’re climbing back into Poe’s car. You kick off your shoes into the floorboard, tucking one leg under you as Poe offers to drive you around town to help clear your head.

Most nights when you’d go on drives like this, the car would be filled with songs from your favorite playlist and the sound of you and Poe singing along to them. However, tonight it’s filled with a gentle silence occasionally broken by Poe filling it with stories from work that week: he worked at Alderaan Books, a small mom and pop store that’d been a staple in the town for years. It was run by the gentle powerhouse of a woman, Leia Organa, who’d inherited it from her parents Bail and Breha. 

Alderaan Books was entirely the reason why you even had Poe in your life. When you moved into town five years before, you’d decided to familiarize yourself with the various shops and stuff. Eventually, a storm had caught you, and the bookshop was the nearest dry place within quick walking distance. You’d burst inside, shivering and soaked from head to toe, and then there was Poe: with black as midnight curls and twinkling eyes and a soft, friendly smile as he offered you a towel to dry off with.

You’d spent the rest of the afternoon in the shop, talking with him - because of the storm, you were pretty much the only customer there - getting to know him. By the time he was offering you a cup of coffee and a book recommendation, you knew Alderaan Books and Poe Dameron would become an important part of your life here in this town, and you hadn’t been wrong.

Eventually, he’s turning down the road that leads to his apartment and you feel the rest of the tension in your body deflate. You didn’t fancy the idea of going back to your own apartment, empty and quiet as it was, after tonight. Which Poe would’ve known because you’ve asked to stay with him after being overwhelmed for that exact reason before; still, something warm stirs in your chest as he does so instinctively. 

He does spare a glance at you, to double check if that’s alright, and you give him a grateful nod, reaching out to squeeze his hand. He twists his so that your palms are flush against each other, and he interlocks your fingers together.

(He wishes he could pull your hand up to his lips, press a kiss to your knuckles, and maybe in another life, he could. But in this one, he doesn’t).

You’re both practically leaning against each other as you walk up the stairs to his apartment, your shoes in your hand, as Poe tells you about a book he’d found in their stock that he thought sounded up your alley. This was, in a way, a love language for the two of you: sharing music and books were as much a staple in your relationship as your banter and lack of personal space.

As you reach his door, Poe’s still describing the plot as detailed on the back cover as he unlocks it to let you in. You smile gratefully at him as he holds it open for you, letting you in first. Immediately, you look around the living room to see if you can spy Poe’s beloved cat, Beebee, but he doesn’t seem to be in the room - probably curled up on one of Poe’s bookshelves in his bedroom, since that was one of Beebee’s favorite haunts.

You collapse onto Poe’s couch as he heads to the kitchen to start boiling some water in the electric kettle. You sit your ankle boots neatly between the space between the couch and the little table beside it, and then crash back against the soft pillows. 

“Why is your couch so comfortable?” You call to the kitchen. Poe leans out from the window frame that bridges the kitchen to the living room, his curls falling haphazardly over his brow at the sudden movement.

“Because I have excellent taste,” he reminds you, before he pulls his body back into the kitchen. The ridiculousness of the man that is your best friend makes you laugh, and you slowly haul yourself from the comfort of the cushions to pad to the kitchen. You’re still a little worn out from the evening, but there’s a quiet thrum of energy in you now that you’re somewhere that feels safe and cozy.

He’s pouring water into two different mugs for you both, tea tags hanging loosely at their sides. Your heart warms as you realize he’s pulled out your favorite mug - a dull orange one that you always used for tea, because you’d unconsciously adapted a system at his house and had a different mug for coffee and tea - from the cabinet. When Poe turns around, there’s a gentle smile on his face as he motions at the mugs. “They’ll be done in about four minutes,” he announced unnecessarily, because you knew how long it took for his favorite brand of tea to steep. 

Wordlessly, you pull your phone from your dress’ pocket, and pull up your music player. You press the shuffle button and sit the phone down on the counter, letting the room fill with soft tunes as you wait for your tea, leaning against the counter and letting your head roll back and forth.

Poe’s hand skims down your arm, leaves goosebumps in his wake, “You feeling better?”

“Yeah, I am. Just kind of restless now, you know?” 

“Well,” Poe drawls out, his eyes flicking over to your phone and back at you, a mischievous smile lighting up his handsome features, “we’ve got some time...and you so helpfully gave us a soundtrack,” he presses his hand over his heart and gives you a small bow, flourishing that same hand out to you in offering, “would you allow me this dance, sweetheart?”

Your cheeks warm, a smile rising to your own face and you accept his hand. “I’d like that a lot.” 

He tugs you closer to him, linking both your hands together, and you both begin to dance around the kitchen - clumsy, dorky movements that follow the beat of an Abba song, laughing each time one of you bump into each other or step on each other’s feet. Eventually, you collide against each other, still swaying and bouncing to the music, and you rest your head against Poe’s shoulder.

As the first song fades out, your shuffle immediately begins the next — which just so happens to be “Can’t Help Falling In Love”. Poe shifts into a slower dance and you follow his lead. He presses his nose against the side of your head, and you can feel his breath against your earlobe as he begins to murmur the lyrics of the song.

Like earlier in your apartment, the air between you grows weighted. This isn’t just him singing along to a song, the way he’s reciting the lyrics feels like a confession: a gentle one, one that you could easily ignore if you wanted to - and a thrill of anticipation thrums under your skin as you realize you don’t want to ignore it. You’re not sure you’ve ever known someone so beautiful before: not just in appearance, but in soul. He practically radiates light and love, a constant source of warmth and sunshine in your life that you’ve come to rely on. You can’t imagine life without him: he’s who you picture beside you whenever you think of the future: late night car rides with him, bickering together in the kitchen, cuddling on the couch reading together. He’s your best friend, he’s -

You swallow hard. He’s more than that. You want him, more than anything, and it’s suddenly imperative that he knows that.

“Our tea should be done,” Poe says when the song comes to a close, pulling back to search your eyes for your reaction. 

“They were done by the time Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! ended, Poe.” 

“So they’re really strong cups of tea now,” Poe offers with a lopsided smile. His hands have found a home on your waist, and their warmth seeps through the fabric of your dress. When you still don’t move out of his arms, but rather shift closer to him, placing your hand on his cheek, his breath hitches just slightly before he says your name.

“Yeah?”

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, like he’s internally debating something. Finally, he whispers, “You’re beautiful.”

“So are you,” you reply as you run your thumb along his cheekbone. You lean up on your tiptoes, searching his gaze for any signs of hesitance at your closeness, then you finally ask what you’ve wanted to for a fucking long time: “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” Poe replies but he doesn’t move any closer to you, instead just asks, “You sure about this?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you tell him lowly and the heated look he gives you in return, paired with a dazzling smile you want to remember for as long as you live, is enough to give you the courage you need to crash your lips against his.

He gathers you up in his arms to draw you closer, a warm expansive hand sliding up your spine,to cradle the back of your neck as his other hand grips your hip, fingers bunching around the fabric of your dress. You move your hand from his cheek up into his curls, dragging your fingers through them experimentally, dragging a hum from low in his throat that you want to pull from him again.

You move forward, intending to nudge him back against the kitchen counter, but Poe has other plans, and at the last second, he spins you around so that the counter presses against your back as he presses flush against you. He pulls away from your mouth to pepper kisses everywhere he can reach: your brow, the tip of your nose, your eyelids, your jawline, and finally, your neck, where he stops and stays, burying his face in the crook of it as you hold him against you as you try to catch your breath.

Eventually, with one last brush of his lips against your skin, he straightens and fixes you with a bashful expression. You loop your arms around his neck, smiling up at him, feeling warm and happy. “Poe?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

He leans down again, and when your lips meet a second time, you can feel his smile pressed against your own, as he murmurs, “I love you too.”

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron x you #myfic