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ohhnorr · 2 years

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Genshin impact is so painful now

I love this game to death, the open world and its lore, the dragons, the gameplay, and the land of liyue reeled me in. And ofc Kaeya was one of the major reasons I started playing. I've been playing the game like maybe a month since it was released. So, like the launch era (yes I take pride in that it was the best era).

Mondstadt was an amazing introduction, to the familiar buildings of Germany. And the beautiful design of the culture mixed with the signature of genshin's design made the characters brilliant. Now the first story event (reconciling stars??) made me heavily excited about all the lore that was hidden ingame.

When I got to liyue I was glued to the game, forever, I thought. This was china from a whole nother perspective for me as a Moroccan. And to see such an elegant (not heavily sexualized) character like Ninguang in that cutscene. Yo, I fell in love. Childe was cute too, but then the man that got me everything or anything related to excitement and admiration came upon us. Zhongli. Oh, he was the package, with a beautiful outfit reminding u of the Chinese culture as it has its own modern genshin signature twist. Stunning. It's such characters that get me obsessed with games. Next to all of the intricate details and lore plus gameplay.

To finish off, Inazuma. That was one beautiful region, from the flora to the architecture. The temples and that beautiful quest. Ayaka's design is by far one of my favourites. Her design has her culture written all over it and it's beautiful. In Inazuma, we have so many characters inspired by their Japanese ancestry and it looks stunning and recognizable.

But then the sumeru leaks dwindled along. I was super excited for sumeru, that was my downfall.

After seeing these 3 beautifully represented cultures i was so naïvely excited for Sumeru. And thats expected right, i was rightfully excited to see the beautiful culture of the middle east, north africa and SEA being equally represented like the other three.

But thats when i heard al haitham an important arab figure whose name is now being occupied by a white buff tech man with a fandom who couldnt even pronounce his name right and call him habibi ?

ATTENTION: REPRESENTING. SWANA

Unrecognizable. In no way was the representation of Sumeru as intricately thought out as with the other regions. We have been colorised, orientalized and sexualized once again.

I'm gonna start with the one hurting me the most, Dehya.

(Listen i only heard her name and i was so excited to see my culture in this game i was jumping and ecstatic to see representation--- wait she is a cat girl warrior tf)

Dehya's name is inspired by Dihya, the name of an Amazigh Algerian military queen (Kahena). So quite a name to live up to. The Imazighen (us North Africans) barely get any representation as it is. And when we do, we become drawn out as barbarians or savages (for example another "name" for us is Berbers which the Romans called us).

Now what does Dehya look like huh? Yes indeed she has been revealed to be some warrior cat with an wild and savage look. And as an amazigh i hoped to see at least a little of our beautiful culture respresented. Yet i didint recognize any cultural aspects in comparison to litteraly any character in this game.

While we actually wear alot of beautiful jewelry! And we also have beautiful tribal tattoos, and Dihya herself is such a stunning figure to take refrence from.

But instead we get practically nothing. So we are now standing up for her. And yet there are people complaining against us saying that sexualization happens to every character. But Dehya is litteraly oversexualized on such a level that no cultural aspect is recognizable nor a point of interest.

Look im aware of the sexualization of female characters in games especially in gacha's. And its mostly the reason why i dont play alot of them. Yet in genshin its more mild and the design still upholds cultural aspects. Like with Inazuman characters; https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/o7eifv/inazuma_characters_design_analysis_spoilers_for/

And alot of Liyue characters;

This is why i ask of the bare minimum. To analyze and take interest in the amazigh culture. So Dehya's design could be oh so much more elevated and still badass. Because we as well would love to see a badass cat warrior with actual amazigh tattoos, clothes and jewelry.

Unfortunatly she isint the only problematic character.

Nilou, is an Persian dancer. Whilst having culturally accurate horns from the Sassanian period and a burst move from the gorgeous Persian dance. She has still been sexualized and orientalized. Dancers have always had their stomachs covered. Its culture, it's beautiful. By exposing the belly it's unrecognizable as Persian and becomes mixed with the Arab belly dancing outfit. If they want to sexualise her that badly then exposing the belly is the worst move- it erases the culture, it mixes with another culture, it sexualizes and orientalizes. It becomes a problem.

(Cr: demonscallme on twitter)

Tighnari, an amazigh name supposedly Moroccan. With ears from the fennec an animal from the western desert. Other than that his outfit and design is all over the place. In genshin they are more than capable of making modern day clothing mix with cultural themes. Yet this is not working at all. Nothing is recognizable nor representative of anything amazigh nor arab. Its just a jumbled mess. Disappointing in comparison to the modern clothing and cultural mixture of design with for example zhongli.

Dori is the worst of all the characters. She is orientalized and sexualized. No one encounters representation except seeing a fucking joke. She has no cultural aspects that are recognizable instead she is the spitting image of an orientalized character. They have a huge region and countries with countless cultures to take interest in. Yet they went with none and followed stereotypes. Her clothing is also grossly sexualized for a child model. It's disappointing how we are being spat on, our cultures are being treated like a joke.

Now a major argument against anything related to the word orientalism had been "it's fictional".

Stereotyping and racism are stated under orientalism. When we say it's racist, stereotyped, and so orientalized it is wrong, it should not be spread around as if it's nothing. It hurts to see and it's disrespectful. So we SWANA deserve just like the german, Chinese and Japanese to be respected and upheld with the same input into our designated region. This game isin't so fictional anymore.

Colourism, all characters until now are pale. Not denying it. We have in the swana region, people of all colours. If u are gonna represent characters from that region we expect different skin tones. To be recognizing oneself is an amazing experience. And it would be representing swana perfectly. It does not hurt it only embraces. That's why we are speaking up about this. Look I'm willing to wait, to take this back, the moment we get a broad set of people from different skin colours. Its not hard to do, it does not contradict anything. So why are people still pressed? Aren't we supposed to break free from the stupid standard of the pale is elevated. There are white Arabs yes, I'm not saying we can't have any pale characters. But with a region as broad as the swana region. There are bound to be some different skin tones and that should not be ignored.

To conclude,

we want to have equal input into our region as there has been done with the previous three. We want people to see our beautiful cultures. And above all, we want to be respected. Yes, we cannot have everything, but it does not hurt to try. It does not hurt to speak out. And you who are against this notion, you are not achieving freemogems out of this. You are not changing our minds. You are not the only one in the world. Broaden your perspectives. For the sake of an exceptional game.

#genshin impact #genshin impact inazuma #genshin #genshin impact liyue #genshin impact leaks #sumeru #genshin leaks #genshin impact sumeru #sumeru leaks #genshin impact dehya #dehya #genshin impact haitham #al haitham #Tighnari #Dori #Nilou #Collei #genshin sumeru

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loelysian · 1 year

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marmoris (chapter 3)

(n.) the shining surface of the ocean

chapter 1 chapter 2

word count: 4.2k

summary: after a dangerous rescue mission led by namor, you safely make it back to talokan. things should be alright between the two of you. after all, you’re home safe because of him. why aren’t they?

note: since this one shot was written by me, a jewish arab person, it is hinted that y/n is also from those cultures but if you are not, that is fine. it is never explicitly stated and i don't plan on doing so in future chapters. feel free to apply your own experiences to the scenarios i've written about. please keep in mind that i am not fluent in yucatec so i've used a translator for any scenes in talokan. if you find i've upset you, please comment and let me know so i can fix it and apologize. i do not mean to offend anybody. fair warning, there are kissing scenes in this chapter so if that is not your cup of tea, i wouldn't read this. i hope you enjoy.

warnings: near-death experiences, talk of death, mentions of wounds that are not for the faint of heart and violence.

Someone had cut into the ship—that much you knew as the red, angry blinking lights and repetitive ‘warning: someone has breached the landing pad’ rang in the cockpit loud and clear. Panicking, Shuri tried everything she could to keep the ship afloat since you would be making direct contact with land instead of water when it inevitably crashed. Distantly in the air, you smelt what you thought might be smoke as you noticed the entire right side of the ship had been cut into, leaving a dangerous opening where the wing should have been. Muyal had her eyes closed, the tips of her fingers a dangerous white as she gripped onto the edge of her seat tightly, praying you would stay in the air.

Okoye and Shuri were shouting but you could barely hear them over the beeping. You had no idea what to do as you’d never so much as touched Wakandan tech in your life, but you decided to ask.

“Do you need any help?” you yelled, leaning against the back of Shuri’s seat as the ship began to tilt to the side. Bad move. You quickly sat back down and buckled yourself in, trying your hardest not to move.

“Just stay still!” Shuri begged as she pressed numerous buttons on the control panel to no avail. Nothing seemed to be working and you knew the ship was going down soon with you and everyone in it still inside.

You dared a glance out of the front of the ship and noticed Namor had vanished which worried you more than it should have. Had he been the one to damage your ship? That couldn’t be. He was right in front of your very eyes when the alarm system had gone off.

Ramonda and Riri seemed to be talking to each other in a hurry just as Shuri and Okoye were until you saw him.

From underneath the balcony of the palace, you watched as Namor flew up toward the cracked window with his winged feet, throwing three water-bombs directly toward Ramonda and Riri. The explosion had been bigger than you were anticipating and the last thing you heard before the four of you were emerged in water was Shuri’s screams.

Somewhere in the mess of the ship crashing which had effectively thrown you into a giant torpedo-like wave, slamming you against numerous shards of glass from the window and broken parts from the damaged ship, you’d lost your water-mask.

You ended up on barren, dry land several feet from the water but because your body was still in the process of healing itself from the several deep wounds you’d received, you couldn’t drag yourself into the water to catch your breath. You felt like a beached whale and were aware the air you were desperately trying to inhale sounded like you were inches from death.

There hadn’t been a time before in your life where you were almost certain you were going to die. You weren’t sure why you felt so calm—at ease. The finality of it all normally scared you, but as you laid on the sandy shore of Wakanda, you felt at peace. Since the sun was setting, you mustered enough strength to position yourself on your back so you could stare at the sky. You could still see the black smoke from the shipwreck and somewhere in the back of your mind, you thought of Shuri, Muyal and Okoye, hoping they were okay—that they survived. You could feel the wind brushing against your near-dry body much like a sea of kelp and listened as three birds circled you from above, cawing distantly. In a way, it helped ground you.

You weren’t sure if you’d healed yourself completely or the pain was too much for your body to process but everything from your neck down was numb. Maybe you’d been paralyzed from the impact of the fall. You barely registered the fact that you were crying, a tear from the corner of your eye cascading down your face like a lone raindrop on a glass window. Namor was the only person you were thinking about now—his sweet brown eyes, strong, calloused hands moving up and down your body, the sound of his laughter which you found you’d do just about anything to hear, the way he cared for you like no one else could. Your vision was beginning to dim but you continued to watch as the sky turned an orangey-pink, the sun dipping below the horizon.

Since your lungs lacked the air you so desperately needed, you felt the strong urge to cough but couldn’t find the strength to do so. Somewhere on your left side, you were beginning to regain feeling—your nerves were working again, and you were almost certain you’d been pierced by something as you were falling from the sky—pierced by something deep. You could feel the shards of glass in your hand as you tried to detach the bracelet Namor had given you—you felt the urge to hold it close one last time. It was a struggle, but eventually you got it off of your wrist with minimal pain. It was as beautiful as it was the first time you’d seen it. It made you think of the first time you’d met Namor—he had been wearing the very bracelet you were holding underneath his lab coat. It made you think of your wedding night and how close he held you after the ceremony concluded, promising to take care of you for the rest of his life. It reminded you of Talokan and how much you cared for your people.

At the tips of your toes, you began to feel the tide rolling in, the warm water inviting you back home, but you were far too weak to move, let alone stand. You had already accepted your fate and as much as it pained you to leave Namor, there was nothing you could do.

On your right, you could hear people shouting to each other in Yucatec but brushed it off, thinking you were likely hallucinating from the lack of air to your brain.

The water was getting closer to you, though, washing up and down your legs like kisses, sweet and warm until it reached your arms. It was calm and inviting. To your right, you noticed an octopus doing its best to lift debris off of your legs while a school of crabs worked to cut the net that had tangled around your shoulders. Despite the exhaustion you felt, you smiled knowing Namor had sent them for you.

When you were in the ocean, you were able to heal yourself a lot faster. Although the salt from the water stung, you could feel your body working to heal itself thanks to the vibration-infused liquid, pushing the glass out of your hands and closing up the gash in your side. Once the water was up to your neck, you prepared for complete submersion and instinctively held your breath despite being able to breathe underwater. As soon as you were completely underwater, your eyes opened and you gave the orange-red octopus a pat on its head as it worked as fast as it could. Your heart was thrumming in your chest as you tried to recall why you were here—your body was in shock though you weren’t aware of it and suddenly, as you noticed the blood on the surface of the water, you remembered how you’d gotten here. Shuri. The explosion.

Everything came back to you in a burst of energy and immediately, you sat up in a panic before you swam as fast as you could to check on Shuri—you had to make sure she was okay. She had to be. She had to.

As soon as you got to the shipwreck, both seats were empty and void—nobody was there—but what caught your eye was the fact that Shuri’s seat was crushed. You dove into the water in search of her, hoping there was a clue—anything at all that told you where she might be but there was nothing.

Suddenly, a strong pair of arms came up from behind you and held onto you, tightly. From his hands alone and the jewelry that adorned his wrists, you knew they belonged to Namor. Oh, he had come back for you. He’d made sure you were okay. At once, you turned around and threw your arms over his shoulders, the water giving you a boost as your lips intertwined with his. It was messy and desperate, your teeth colliding with his but damnit, you didn’t care—you wanted, no, needed to be close to him—to feel him as he sighed against you, his breath stuttering when you nipped his bottom lip with your teeth.

It reminded you of the very first time the two of you had kissed. It had been a rush of emotions, a sense of urgency, but something like love was what felt most prominent to you. He’d taken you to a beach in Carlsbad, California—one that you hadn't been to before—and you’d climbed down the rocky cliff together, hands entangled, watching as the beds of kelp washed up on shore. That evening, he’d made you a picnic and a beautiful bed of seafood with the freshest lobster you’d ever had. You could tell by the way he’d been acting that he had something to tell you—he kept stealing glances every time he thought you weren’t looking, a soft smile resting on his face. For the first time since you’d met him, Namor looked at ease. He seemed content. You’d dared to ask him.

“What was all this for?” it hadn’t been the execution you’d been hoping for and you found yourself cringing at what you’d said, but Namor’s smile only grew.

“Sometimes, I want to appreciate you—to let you know that you’re the most important person in the world to me, but I don’t know how to say it, so I show it instead.” and you thought that was a pretty good answer but sometimes, you found yourself confused as to why he’d chosen you. Why he spent his free evenings with you. Why he laughed at your jokes and watched your favorite movies and listened to your favorite songs and tried everything you liked.

Suddenly, you'd found yourself overwhelmed with an unfamiliar sensation that brewed deep in your stomach, something akin to want.

“Can I kiss you?” you had asked him that night. You still remembered the date, the song that had been playing and the way his deep, brown eyes lit up at your question.

At his shy nod, you surged forward, grabbing the collar of his shirt and shut your eyes. With the candles glowing beside you, the moment felt magical. You found that Namor was a passionate kisser. He loved to make you feel. You stayed pressed against him even after the sun set behind the trees, cuddling into the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around you, whispering words of love and adornment into your hair as you felt yourself dozing off. That night, when he was certain you’d fallen asleep, in a hushed tone, he promised aloud that he’d never leave you. What he didn’t know was that you’d been awake.

Today, as Namor held you in his arms like you were the most fragile thing he’d ever picked up, he whispered into your hair;

“Ma'atech asab a dejaré, in eek'e' (i will never leave you again, my star).” much like the night your souls had connected for the very first time, he spoke to you of promises you knew would never be broken.

You were exhausted and wanted nothing more than to leave with him, to head back to Talokan but you couldn’t find it in yourself to go just yet. You couldn’t leave Wakanda without seeing Shuri alive. You didn’t even need to talk to her—you just wanted a sign—something to know she was safe.

“We have to go, in yakunaj (my love).” you were squirming in his arms but his grip was persistent. In the back of your mind, you knew he was right. If you were to stay, you would be dead by sunrise, but Shuri was your friend. You felt you had to know she was okay—that she’d survived the shipwreck.

“No!” you screamed, “I have to make sure she’s safe!” you were no match against Namor and eventually the two of you were pulled deeper and deeper in the water. If there was one thing he knew about you, you rarely gave up. You kept fighting, even if your arms were burning from the excursion of energy your body didn't have.

“Who, in yakunaj (my love).” he spoke calmly, his words calculated. Namor had no doubt you were in shock, especially since you’d nearly just died so he treated you with care, demanding his army to wait until he was there in person before they retrieved you. He had to do it himself.

“The princess! Shuri! She- she was on the ship with me. I don’t know if they survived,” you cried, but you were exhausted, the weight of what had just happened taking a toll on you. You collapsed against your husband's chest, falling into his arms as your eyes closed in unison. Namor pushed a piece of hair out of your face, kissing the top of your head slowly before he signaled for his men to follow him.

He was taking you home.

You dreamt of San Diego from an angle you weren’t as familiar with anymore. Of surfing, remembering the feeling in your stomach as you paddled toward shore, knowing you’d caught a wave. Of your parents and their smiles and the drives the three of you would take together every weekend. Every Friday when you got home from school, your small backpack had already been packed for the trip. You and your parents never had a final destination in mind. You just drove wherever you wanted to. Since you lived two hours from the coast, oftentimes you’d end up in a small beach town with family-owned businesses and vacant houses, all vacation homes waiting for summer when the owners would come visit for a week. You always proposed to camp on the beach but your parents were more keen on staying in a hotel that overlooked the water instead. You couldn’t find it in yourself to complain and on nights when you couldn’t fall asleep, you snuck out onto the balcony and took the stairs by two so you could get to the water.

The beach at night had always been peaceful to you. Since you were the only person there, you could walk as far and long as you wanted but you always made sure to return before sunrise so your parents wouldn’t worry. They always knew where you had been though since there was a sandy trail that led to your bed.

In the mornings, you remembered hating how long your parents would take to get ready for the day. You practically lived in your swimsuit during the weekend and you tried your best not to grow impatient as your parents sipped their coffee on the balcony, watching the waves crash onto shore.

“Mom,” you drew out. “What if I went by myself and swam for a bit while you guys ate breakfast and watched tv.” you had only been seven at the time, barely tall enough to reach the sink to wash your hands but you were convinced you were grown up enough to do this.

“Y/n,” your mother held you close to her chest. “You cannot do everything alone,” what she’d said had stuck with you for most of your life.

You were a rather independent person but whenever you were growing overwhelmed, you reminded yourself of what your mother said.

She always knew how to make you feel better.

When you woke up, you were in Namor’s bed by yourself. You tried to sit up, but your side was still aching from the wound you’d gotten back in Wakanda. That’s right. It was all coming back to you now. You remembered Nakia taking you with her, joking with Riri and sharing stories with Shuri by the water. Shuri. Something akin to failure stung in your chest. You still weren’t sure if she’d made it out alive. You sighed in frustration, staring up at the drawing-adorned ceiling Namor painted during his free time. You were still exhausted from the battle and thought another nap couldn’t hurt, so you shut your eyes and let sleep take over.

When you woke up, you were alone once more, but the side of your stomach was feeling better so you decided you were going to find your husband and get some answers. You had many questions after all.

Wrapping a blanket around your small frame, you headed out into the hallway and started swimming to where you thought he might be though you ran into a small crowd of people who obviously weren’t expecting your presence. Their faces lit up and each of them bowed before one of the men in the front shouted for everyone to hear;

“Le Reina táan u yaajal! Alegrar u (the queen is awake! rejoice)!” he cried, arms in the air as everyone began to clap. Despite being in a hurry, you smiled in their direction and pressed your hand to the man's shoulder. Maybe he knew where Namor was.

“Yuumbo'otik Nib óolal, chéen ba'ale' yaan jump'éel k'áat chi' (thank you, thank you but i do have a question).” you spoke in yucatec. The man nodded with a smile.

“Je'el ba'alake' in Reina. Je'el ba'alake' (anything my queen. anything).” you thanked him and rose your voice slightly, hoping other passerbyers might know the answer if he did not.

“A wojel wáaj tu'ux yaan k'uj ' túun Ku'uk'ulkan (do you know where k’uk’ulkan is)?” you asked him. His eyes brightened and he nodded.

“Mencionó junp'éel múuch'tambale' le tu chi' u asistir bejla'e'. Kun yaantal ichil áaktuno'ob (he mentioned a meeting he had to attend to. he should be in the caves)” the man replied happily. You nodded to him in thanks and took off toward the caves, hoping you’d find a spare water-mask on the way.

Hidden in the shadows of the cave, Namor, Namora and Attuma discussed the war they’d started with Wakanda. Partly, it had been because of your kidnapping. Namor had no idea what their plans were with you and he’d refused to let you become a spoil of war so he’d gone after you himself with his most trusted fighters. Since one of his guards had also been killed during Shuri’s rescue and someone he knew he couldn’t trust knew of Talokan’s location, he had no choice but to attack. It had been many years since he’d gone to battle and he’d never faced an enemy before that harbored vibranium like he and his people did. He’d believe Talokan was the sole nation with access to it for many years before the idea of a vibranium detector was created. That was why he’d convinced himself he had to kill the scientist. If she possessed such knowledge and the likes of the government were after it, he couldn’t let them discover his home.

As their ruler, he refused to put them in harm's way.

Namor knew the size of your heart and what your reaction would be if he’d told you of his plans so he didn’t. Though the risk of it spilling out to you was strong, he’d foolishly thought he’d had it under control until you were kidnapped in the midst of his meeting with Ramonda. Something he couldn’t place was telling him that meeting with her was a bad idea, but he couldn’t decipher why. Maybe it had been because he’d had the scientist and that he’d given her strict instructions to only blow the conch shell if she’d had her, but he went anyway. Attuma told him she likely knew about Shuri being missing and that he had the upper hand—she would want to bargain.

That was why he’d gone.

When he’d gotten back, you’d been gone and he couldn’t help but scream out, cursing himself for allowing it to happen. He’d blamed himself—how could he not? He knew how curious you were. That you were going to get to the bottom of things one way or another. You were a scientist after all, it was in your nature to research—to study the problem at hand no matter the risk.

That was why he felt he owed you now—the protection was already his to give to you once you’d spoken your vows to him but as he watched you breathe in and out in your shared room, tracing the side of your face, he was never going to let anybody hurt you ever again. You were his and he was yours, the binding of your love written in the stars—something nothing could break. He loved you and it scared him. He felt like a child again, so naive yet he had been alive for many, many years. He felt safe with you as silly as it sounded. Someone people often thought of as a god felt safe with a mortal, someone he’d met on land who, despite what he thought, made him feel complete.

Namor wasn’t sure if he believed in past lives, but he was certain the two of you had loved each other once before. People often told him he stared at you like you hung the stars, that in ways, you had. Where he had been serious, you made him smile. Where he had been rough, you held him in between your hands and loved him. You let him be a person, not the great ruler his people regarded him as. He let himself be yours.

He hadn’t been expecting you to burst through one of the many pools in the cave, a blanket adorning your shoulders as well as the pointed-ear jewelry you had been given as a means of respect for him, a way to prove you were queen. Despite himself, Namor smiled and watched as you pulled yourself out of the water, strapping the water-mask onto your face.

Namora and Attuma noticed you and bowed where they were with knowing smiles on their faces.

“In ujo' (my moon), what brings you here?” he asked, wearing the same look of fondness he often had in conversations pertaining to you.

“I think you owe me an explanation.” you said, crossing your arms. You tried to remain strong as you hated confrontation, something Namor knew. He rose a brow, eyeing you curiously.

“For what?” he asks you.

“What did Riri do?” you knew what she’d told you was likely true, but you wanted to hear it from him—you wanted to hear his side.

He looked conflicted but as his wife and queen, you felt you deserved to know the truth.

“No more keeping secrets.” you pushed, hoping he’d give you an answer. Finally, he exhaled and led you to a corner far away from Namora and Attuma so the two of you could have some privacy.

You were surprised when he leaned in to kiss your forehead, but you shut your eyes, basking in the attention. He was a head taller than you so you found you had to stand on your toes so he could reach you. He’d always found humor in the fact that he was taller than you.

“What do you want to know, in yakunaj (my love).” he whispered, his breath hot against your face. The tips of your noses were threatening to touch, brushing against each other as he carded his hand through your hair. Like always, you leaned into the touch, pressing your hand against the back of his.

“What you wanted with Riri Williams.” you couldn’t reach his eyes as you stared at your feet.

“She was the one who crafted the vibranium-detector. If more of those were to be made, it would threaten the existence of our home. I couldn’t let that stand and took it upon myself to find her. The princess of Wakanda just so happened to be with her.” he whispered, using his free hand to hold your chin. He wanted to see your eyes, to look into them so he knew how you were feeling.

Deep down, you knew there had been no other way. Had you been in his shoes as the sole ruler of Talokan, you were sure you would have done the same but still, you felt for her.

“Is something wrong?” he asked you, his lips brushing against yours.

You shook your head, growing limp against his touch. You were still exhausted from the aftermath of the battle and wanted nothing more than for him to join you in bed for a nap but something felt wrong—off.

The air felt stunted, the water on your feet felt strange—cold rather than the warmth you had been used to. You desperately searched your lover’s eyes, hoping he noticed it too only to find that they were closed. He held his head and you watched the goosebumps form up and down his arms.

As you began to ask if we were okay, Attuma approached the both of you, panting and out of breath, his face full of concern and what you thought might resemble anger.

“Ba'ax le jéelo'? Ba'ax ku yúuchul (what is it? what’s wrong)” you asked Attuma, your voice full of worry.

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Namor beat him to it.

“They’re coming. Wakanda is coming.”

tag list : @eerievixen @ichigimm @avsphroeg @borderline1bored @gamorxa @zeeader

#namor x you #namor x y/n #namor x reader #namor #arab reader #jewish reader #namor fanfic

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strawberrysoup · 6 months

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Please don't get your hopes up, this is not about me returning from a four year hiatus or coming back to any fics I've started. This is an apology and acknowledgement of problematic content I've written - not the dark!fics or horror content, for better or for worse - regarding subjects I didn't and still don't fully understand.

I started writing Let's Review in 2019. At the time, I didn't know much about Israel. I knew that the United States overall supported Israel, but I didn't know why they needed to be 'supported'. I knew Israel came about after the Holocaust, but I didn't know how. I equated Israel with Jewish people, to my understanding Judiasm and Jerulselem were equitable to Mecca and Muslims. They were places I associated with religions; the historical home of the Jewish people was Israel and that was about it. I didn't know about Zionism or the history of the area or the displacement and genocide of the people of Palestine and the horrors they've endured under the Israeli State.

At one point, someone sent me a message asking about my opinions on Palestine and Israel and I replied something along the lines of, I don't want to discuss politics or political opinions on my Dark/Dead Dove Do Not Eat Fanfiction Tumblr. I don't know if Let's Review implies Penny supports Israel or if it implies I support Israel, I don't know the dog whistles to listen for or that I might have repeated without understanding their meanings - yet. I am actively attempting to learn more. I will not edit out any of what I wrote, I take responsibility for my ignorance and I won't try to erase or hide it. If I ever decide to return to writing, I will add disclaimers to every chapter of the original version of Let's Review with a more condensed version of this post. For now, I will pin this post to serve as a constant apology and acknowledgement for anyone new who stumbles across my fics. If I rewrite Let's Review, Penny and Peter will remain Jewish, but I will omit Penny's Israeli heritage - regardless of my determination to acknowledge my mistakes, I also acknowledge that building a character with that backstory is beyond my ability to accurately and respectfully portray.

I apologize to anyone that I marginalized with my writing. I apologize for writing off the message I received asking my opinion, that should have prompted me to do more research to understand why the question was even posed. I still do not fully understand the intricacies of this situation, history is written by the victors and religion is complicated.

What I do know is the actions of the Israeli/Zionist state do not represent the Jewish people or religion. I understand that the actions of the Zionists are antithetical to the Jewish religion. I understand that supporting the Zionist state is supporting the genocide and ethnic cleansing of the Muslim and Arab people of Palestine that has been happening over more than half a century. I understand that the 4th largest military force in the world is working to eradicate 2.2 million people who have no military or government to protect them in the Gaza Strip.

I've written a letter to my state congressmen and senators. If you've read this post and agree with my perspective, please consider reaching to whichever official is meant to represent your interests in your government. I've included mine below because I know the process of writing that sort of letter can be daunting. It's not perfect - it's probably not even good, it could be fucking stupid, but I think it gets the point across. Copy and paste it if you're comfortable with that, take it and edit it to make it your own, I don't care - what I care about is you contacting your representatives to make sure they understand you condemn the actions of the Israeli state's war crimes and human rights violations. I tried to include as much as I could while keeping it just under 2,000 characters.

You might think this is stupid of me, to return after so long just to make this statement. But I think it matters. Even if I hadn't written a character with a backstory that was beyond my ability to write respectfully that I needed to take responsibility for, requesting and attempting to facilitate anyone who still follows me to do what they can is something I will do to the best of my ability. Share your opinion. Be loud. Make them listen.

[Representative],

I'm writing to you today regarding the war crimes and human rights violations occurring in Israel, occupied Palestine, and the Gaza Strip. Foremost, I hope you understand that supporting the Jewish people isn't the same as supporting Israel. Supporting Israel is supporting Zionism. Supporting the Zionists is supporting the crimes being committed against a population marginalized due to their religion and ethnicity.

Israel doesn't exist as a country, but it does exist as a hostile military force actively committing acts of genocide and ethnic cleansing. We know what apartheid policy looks like and how quickly it devolves into fascism. The Muslim and Arab people of Palestine have been relegated to second class citizens and it keeps getting worse.

Those living in the Gaza strip, the largest open air prison in the world, have no voting power under the Zionist State. They have no military, no government, no airport. They have no control over their electricity, imports or exports, internet access, or movements in or out of the strip. These 2 million people have been forced to live in a territory that is 25 miles long and 6 miles wide, and the Zionist army is eradicating them.

You can't blame the population of Gaza for the crimes of Hamas. As I mentioned before, the territory is occupied by more than 2 million people. You can't equate the entire population with their most radical terrorist faction.

We've seen this happen before. How many people will die in bombings and massacres before we stop turning a blind eye?

This cannot be ignored or supported. Every government should loudly and clearly condemn these inhumane crimes. Please bring this to your colleagues' attention. Please support Palestinians, support the Arab and Muslim populations living in what they call Israel, condemn the actions of a hostile occupying force commiting real time genocide while we watch.

[Your Name]

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colorfulyetsinful · 1 year

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Happy new years everyone!!! I hope everyone had a good nesw years and if not...welp :/

Anways, I got more headcannons! :D

As I mentioned in m last hc post, these are hc I've written on my phone to send to my friend. I thought I write so much hc might as well post them. Also, Jason is Latino bc I’m Latino and I say so.

Ok, headcannon time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Batfam Accents

Dick:

Has a Romani / European accent

It’s a bit watered-down bc of him traveling in the circus

He knew english, but it was very broken

Or it sounded broken with how heavy his accent was

He learned how to switch accent and talk proper American english after becoming Robin as a way to further mask his identity

When he’s Robin and upset, he talks in his born dialect,

but in an American accent...

Yes, it is very funny

The teen titans thought he was going craz when he code switch

“Wait, you’re not (American) White?”

“Now where the fu-”

He uses his accent when in civilian form to keep the image

Jason:

Is an immigrant from Dominican Republic,

but immigrated when he was a baby

He only knew Spanish for the first few years of his life, until his mother died

His accent is also watered-down, but it's still strong to your genric American

It works when being questioned by the police,

just pretend you don't know english

As he got older and learned more english his accent basically went away (Still there, technology, just not as stronger)

Since he's from Gotham's streets, he has a heavy Jersey/Gotham accent (If you ever heard a jersey-ian (?) talk then you know what I'm talking about)

When he met Batman, he tried to play the "No Hablo inglés"

and Bruce pulls the uno reverse card and starts throwing spanish right back at him

"Abort mission"

When he teams up with Roy, Roy find him hot when he speaks spanish

He also teaches Lian spanish bc "I'm basically raising her too, Roy. That's my child as much as she is your's, and I'm teaching her spanish, danmmit"

Tim:

The only one withot an accent,

like he has a Gotham accent, but its posh Gotham (people with these accents are rich and think their shit dont stink)

Knows Korean and Yiddish fluently

Bc Tim is haft asian (I hc him as Korean and Jewish) and rich, ofc his parents had him learn a bunch of languages

Languages such as; Japanese, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, and Mandarin

One time the YJ (who didn't know his identity) ran into his civilian personal at a banquet and he had to speak Korean

Yj was on a mission, however, to watch over him (much to his displeasure) and he had to pretend to only speak Korean the whole night

When frustrated and/or in pain, he switches to one of the many languages he know

"What is your ethnicity? You're fluent in too many languages"

"Human. No more questions"

Damian:

Is actually an immigrant

(At least, I believe so...corrent me if im wrong)

His accent is the heaviest out of all of them bc he grew up in the middle east for a good chunk of his life

He hides it with posh European english (how he was taught english)

Knows a lot of languages bc Talia said knowing all of them is important

He doesn't know Cantonese, Portugese, or Hawaiian

Still getting use to speaking more in english and not Arabic

Still wasn't able to properly mask his accent yet as some words are weird to pronounce.

Cassandra:

Is taking speach therapy so she also doesn't really have an accent

She just speaks broken english bc she's getting used to talking

Talks very softly

Uses ASL mostly as it is an easier wa to communicate

Slowly gaining a Canadian accent bc her speech instructor is from Canada

Duke:

Like jason, also has a Gotham/Jersey accent

Grew up in regular gotham streets, unlike Tim, so it's more slang words

The "Blaccent"

Is very heavy, like he cant turn it off

which is fine bc he's a gotham base vigilante

Teaches Damian Jersey slang

Bonce!!!!

Bruce also has a posh Jersey accent that Tim as bc all rich and high society do

and Alfred is obviously british

#bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batfamily #batfam #duke thomas #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #jason todd #alfred pennyworth #gotham #batman

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goldheartedsky · 16 days

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tagged by my beloved @ongreenergrasses for this writer's ask so here we go!!

1) how many works do you have on AO3?

Right now, 192, though some of them are art. So if we're talking strictly *fics*, then I think around 180?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

a whopping 1,012,726!!!! 😵‍💫

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it's almost entirely TOG, but I have written for Captain America, Agent Carter, Wolf, Close Enemies, and there are a few orphaned hockey RPF fics written by me floating around Ao3 🫣

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Carry the Field, When All The Boys Can’t Be Men, Fireproof, Lines in the Sand, and Tripping On Stars which, honestly I kind of expected, though it does bum me out that none of my AndyBooker fics made it into the top 5

5) Do you respond to comments?

almost always unless it's like... real weird or an emoji that I don't know how to respond to hahah

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I might have to go with Beginning to Feel the Years, solely because it's so open ended with the angst. I really love angst with a happy ending because I love a little ray of hope through the clouds, but the morning after this fic is just going to be so hard, no matter what.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I really gotta hand it to North Star for the softest ending in the world. I said fuck the haters and gave Andy a husband, 2 kids, and a picket fence with zero regrets

8) Do you get hate on fics?

not usually, people tend to save that for Tumblr, but I did get a little whining on Change Your Ticket when I started redeeming Francesca the way she deserved.

9) Do you write smut?

the fact that this is even a question and not an automatic yes is so funny. Of course I write smut. Raunchy smut, romantic smut, angsty smut, you name it, I've written it.

10) Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Other than old Bandom crossover fics, I don't think so! I think the only thing that might count as a crossover fic is the MajidxManuel Wolf/Close Enemies fics

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NO thank god 🥲

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but I've gotten a few podfics done by @cookiemom6067

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but I'd honestly love to cowrite one!

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

As much as I want to say it's AndyBooker, I really gotta give it up to Steve/Bucky. They were the blueprint for a lot of my shipping patterns now.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Everything gets finished eventually, though it might take me a bit right now

16) What are your writing strengths?

Other than my smut writing skills, I think either dialogue or handling a lot of tough topics with nuance. People in fandom right now love their black and white subjects and I am all about that grey matter.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

action sequences, without a doubt.

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I tend to either keep it to small little pieces of dialogue in latinized form (especially with stuff like Arabic/Yiddish) but with Prodigal Son, I really wanted the language to be a little symbolic of how othered Ilan feels. Because most people can't read Hebrew, keeping it in its original form felt the most isolating. If you're not Jewish and know Hebrew, you won't know what Ilan's saying unless you *try* to translate it, which is more than what he gets in the fic.

So I think it can be an interesting plot device, depending on how you use it.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter but I was like...12 and that fandom got abandoned quick ahahah

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

FAVORITE? Oof I usually say the Cherry Wine fics or North Star, but I'm gonna broaden my answer this time and offer a couple little one shots. I REALLY love Color Him Father just because I love the idea of transmasc!Booker, and then the one I love that doesn't get enough love is From Adam’s Rib, my golem!Winter Soldier fic

tagging @druckkugelschreiber @quinbi @captain-grammar and @shatterthefragments, as well as anyone else who wants to do this!

#ask games #writers meme

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stingyslegslookweird · 9 months

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A week or so ago, I made a post about Yukari's letter from episode 42 of Kamen Rider Agito, asking if anyone had turned the stylized English it was written in into a font. From what I could find, no one had.

So I did.

Say hello to Limitless Evolution, my first (and so far only) custom font, based off what's more or less the catalyst for the entire plot of the 2001 tokusatsu, Kamen Rider Agito. It's available in both OTF and SVG formats, and I've included the .txt save file for the website I used to make it, in case you want to mess around with that.

left: the screencap from my original post. right: the first paragraph of the letter, typed up in wordpad using the Limitless Evolution font.

And if you're wondering, here's what it says in readable English:

"In the beginning was Theos. Theos divided the light from the darkness, the day from the night, the firmament from the earth, and the land from the sea. Thus the world was finished."

A list of changes I had to make, for those curious:

The letter never uses the letters J, Q, X, and Z, so I had to come up with my own designs for them.

There are no parentheses, mainly because by the time I got to those characters, I couldn't think of any way to make them look good and consistent with the rest of the font.

Idk where else I can mention this but I realized partway through making this that, because all of the characters use straight lines, the Unknown (or whatever entity is responsible for this "language") likely used to write on wax or stone, since straight lines are much easier to legibly write with on those surfaces. Of course, this means there are absolutely no curves anywhere in this font (at least in the custom characters).

You might notice a few re-uses of specific characters here and there in other characters. Had I not done that, I 100% would've gotten burnt out halfway thru and never finished this.

The numerals are obviously not Arabic. I took inspiration from the weird "gang signs" the Unknown do before they commit murder and made the signs for numbers look like fingers on hands. I imagine their counting system works exactly like Arabic/base-10 counting, just with different symbols.

I replaced the tilde with a "does not equal" sign. The tilde sometimes signifies "is approximately equal to", and I figured the Unknown probably wouldn't vibe with that kinda thing.

I was gonna make the @ sign the Agito symbol but I forgor. 💀

The dollar sign ($) is also custom. It's the symbol for G with a line thru it. The Unknown strike me as a culture that would use Gold, plus it looks kinda like a crystal, which they might also perhaps use.

The ampersand (&) and plus (+) use the same symbol. I figured they mean basically the same thing, so why not, y'know? Also I couldn't come up with a good design for it.

I literally just realized as I'm writing this that the lowercase M is only slightly smaller than the capital M, and the lowercase and capital Ns are the same size. My bad. When/If I make an updated version of this, I'll be sure to fix that.

I used the comma in like six different characters. It's not laziness, it's resourcefulness.

Lastly, the greater than (>) and less than (<) symbols are meant to represent people bowing/praying, since I figured the Unknown would probably see it as whichever number was more "powerful". Kinda like the alligator thing but with fighting instead of eating.

So yeah. If you want, you can download the font by clicking its name earlier in this post, or here if you'd prefer:

Lemme know if there's any improvements or adjustments I should make in the next version that may or may not come out some time in the near or distant future. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk. Hope you enjoy regardless!

Update: In case you missed it, I released an updated version of the font that adds parentheses, brackets, some diacritics, and other fun things. It, along with the original version are both downloadable from the Google Drive link above (hopefully). I’m still planning on updating it again in the future, so if you have any suggestions or issues you’d like to see fixed in the future, lemme know and I’ll see what I can do.

#kamen rider #kamen rider agito #kr agito #masked rider agito #agito #agito spoilers #font #fonts #custom font #custom fonts #thing i made #sorry if the inconsistent sizes of the letters bothers you #the thing i used to make the font was easy-ish to use in every aspect OTHER than that #and for some odd reason the thing they give you to test the font before downloading it just didn't work for me #but anyway imma go relax #it's 6:30 and i've been working on this since noon #i am so tired

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ninja-muse · 7 months

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September is birthday month, if anyone's wondering why my acquisition of books appears to have slipped again (picture #2). At least I'd read nearly all of them before they joined my library shelves, and Winter's Gifts, well, it's really easy to read an Aaronovitch novella within a day or two of acquiring it. Especially since…

September was also week-vacation month, which is part of how I made it to 13 books read but very little explanation for my read-from-TBR-shelves stack (picture #1), only two of which I read on holiday. The two short ones I read in the gap between "finished the latest Book Of Substance" and "started the official Vacation Stack", and Digger was one of my 2023 goals so I decided to check that off. Baking Yesteryear was a surprise/accident. I was telling a coworker how much I enjoyed reading the library's copy and they said, "hey, while you were off, we got a copy too damaged to sell…". And one has to treat oneself in birthday month.

(Vacation was good, in case you were wondering. Camping, so no wifi, so lots of outdoors and reading time and charming rodent shenanigans.)

My biggest regret of the month, by which we mean less regret and more mild bookish panic, is the number of reading copies I appear to have taken home. I have one for Menewood which I'm planning to get to once I finish with My Roommate is a Vampire, and the rest of them were, well, um. Look. When your store buyer and random publishers send you books you'd enjoy and your coworkers finish reading ARCs you've been interested in, things happen, okay? At least at this point a lot of the books are coming out next year, which probably doesn't bode well for my 2024 TBR but that is a future problem.

Also, not doing great at my goal of reading a Canadian author every month. This is the second (?) month in a row I've failed on that front which, yes, is why I'm reading a Canadian author right now. (Also it's one of those ARCs a coworker finished with.)

Beyond the bookish stuff, there's not much to report. I've written a good bit and am surprising myself by how much I can write on my phone during a commute. Had a good birthday. Ate good food. Got fun things. Dealt with slightly more chaos at work than usual. Finished the last season of Great British Bake-Off aired in Canada and am looking forward to starting the Canadian version tonight.

How was your September?

And now without further ado, in order of enjoyment…

Evidence of Things Seen - Sarah Weinman, ed.

A collection of true crime journalism tackling recent social justice issues and big-picture flaws in the justice system.

8/10

multiple #ownvoices essays by BIPOC authors

warning: the usual things one would expect to find in true crime journalism

Infinity Gate - M.R. Carey

A scientist, the multiverse, AI, and the nature of humanity.

8/10

Nigerian and Moroccan POV characters

warning: slavery, fire, xenophobia, war, torture, violence

Thornhedge - T. Kingfisher

Toadling confronts the knight bent on entering the sleeper’s tower.

8/10

Arab Muslim secondary character

Digger Unearthed - Ursula Vernon

A wombat’s tunnel takes her to a very foreign land. She would like to go home please—but there are gods.

8.5/10

Baking Yesteryear - B. Dylan Hollis

Tried and true recipes from the past century.

9/10

🏳️‍🌈 author

The Fragile Threads of Power - V.E. Schwab

Seven years after Red London was saved, some people have moved on and others are still picking up the pieces. And some are asking whether the king deserves to be in power.

7.5/10

POV characters of colour, 🏳️‍🌈 POV characters (gay), 🏳️‍🌈 author

Winter’s Gifts - Ben Aaronovitch

Agent Kimberley Reynolds investigates a case with “unusual characteristics” during a Michigan winter.

7/10

Ojibwe secondary characters

Lud-In-The-Mist - Hope Mirrlees

A bourgeois father tries to save his children from the plague of fairy fruit—which is hard, since it doesn’t officially exist.

6.5/10

warning: classist, misogynist, generally unkind to the disabled and mentally ill

A Long Day in Lychford - Paul Cornell

Something is wrong with the borders around Lychford and the local coven has to put things right before people get hurt.

7/10

Black British main character

warning: mild racism and xenophobia

The Vaster Wilds - Lauren Groff

A servant girl flees her colonial town for the dubious safety of the wilderness.

7/10

protagonist of colour, mentally disabled secondary character, incidental Powhatan and other indigenous characters

warning: racism, misogyny, rape, disease, starvation, murder, death of a child

Board to Death - CJ Connor

Ben turns down a suspiciously good deal on an old board game. Then the dealer turns up dead on his doorstep.

6/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (gay), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (gay), 🏳️‍🌈 author, #ownvoices

Starter Villain - John Scalzi

Charlie inherits a supervillain empire, complete with a subscription mega-laser, spy cats, and enemies.

6.5/10

The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices - Charles Dickens and Wilkie Collins

Two friends go on a holiday to northern England.

7/10

Currently reading:

Like Every Form of Love - Padma Viswanathan

A writer digs into the strange, complicated story of a man she befriended in a marina.

🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (gay), Indo-Canadian author, 🇨🇦

warning: domestic and child abuse

My Roommate is a Vampire - Jenna Levine

There’s a room-to-rent in Cassie’s low, low budget. The (hot) guy renting it acts like he’s from the 1800s. Surely he’s just quirky.

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (gay)

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

Stats

Monthly total: 13 Yearly total: 100/140 Queer books: 3 Authors of colour: 0 Books by women: 5 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 5 Books hauled: 6 ARCs acquired: 12 ARCs unhauled: 4 DNFs: 0

January February March April May June July August

#books #booklr #bookblr #rec lists #read in 2023 #reading wrap-ups #my photos #stacks of books

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hjellacott · 1 year

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What trans women, feminists and Jews all have in common.

A/N: I originally wrote this as a response to a reblog, but then I realised it's perhaps the most important post I've ever written, and I know it's very long, but I hope that you, whoever you are, will read it. That's why I wanted to give it a voice of its own, shortening it a tad. This post discusses, in a kind, friendly and polite manner the whole fight between trans and feminists, the debate about Hogwarts Legacy and the problems of anti-semitism and transphobia. And it does so lovingly, and without an aim to brainwash, hurt or offend. So please, if you have ten minutes, please do read. Whoever you are. Thank you.

----

1. FIRST LET ME TELL YOU WHO I AM, SO THAT YOU KNOW THE KIND OF PERSON YOU'RE READING FROM.

I am very much sick of the fights between people who at the bottom, all just want to feel safe, and I am very much sick of the lack of actual polite conversation between us. I come from a Jewish background, from Sephardic Jews (meaning ethnically Jews, which makes me ethnically a Jew both in my maternal and paternal lines), but I also come from a city that has historically been Roman, Iberian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Arabs, Visigoth, Phoenician, Tarshish and many more, which means I am aware that I am only alive because my ancestors mixed with people very different from them, and repeatedly survived persecution because their religion and/or civilization wasn't the "right one" to stay alive in depending on the historical time. My Jewish ancestors were likely prosecuted to such an extent, and not even that long ago, but during World War II, that they hid and pretended to be Catholics and kept quiet to save their lives. And then there's the fact that I'm bisexual, and whenever I've been in a same sex relationship (one of which lasted me several years) I had to hide, keep it quiet, and keep it a tight-lipped secret because I knew even on this day and age a lot of my loved-ones wouldn't understand, not because they're right-wingers (which they're not), but for other reasons. And I'm saying all of this because I want it to be understood that I know what it is like to be persecuted because of who you are and to never feel entirely safe. I never even felt I could hold my girlfriend's hand in public without receiving some kind of backlash. I never even dared to go into a LGBT march without wearing something to conceal my identity. And on top of things, I'm a woman, and I've never, ever in the decades I've been in this world, in no city I've ever visited, felt safe to be alone out in the street at night. I know I'm talking a lot, and I'm sorry, and I know you'all just want to shout terf, antisemitic and transphobe at me and stop reading, but I beg you to keep reading, even if it's long, because I'm hopeful that we can finally reach some kind of understanding.

Let's forget what divides us. What unites us is that we all feel unsafe. We all, women, gays, trans people, POC people, Jews, we all feel like just because there's something about us that we can't change, we're more likely to die than anyone else. To be raped, beaten-up, abducted and taken from the face of the Earth, just because of who we are.

So what I'm saying is, you're afraid? I understand. So am I. Too afraid to walk alone at night, too afraid to date anyone who isn't a friend of a friend (therefore pre-approved), too afraid to go around in my real life outside the internet telling people how multi-ethnicity I am, simply afraid. All of the time.

I am a fairly cultured person. I'm not the kind of person who simply goes online, believes whatever without evidence, and on and on. I am the kind of person with several higher education certificates, with studies both locally and abroad, the world-traveller, the ferocious reader, the one who reads all the news every day (Spanish, English and French) in several newspapers both right wing and left wing so that in the end I have all sides of the story, I come from a well-educated and very humble family, and I am not someone who blindly decided to support J. K. Rowling. I was horrified when I read the first people saying she was transphobic. But hey, I'm the kind of person who, if I disagree with someone, I read them to bits, because I want to know exactly what they think and why, and why I think differently, and I know that's not something a lot of the people you read do. And I'm in the arts, so half my friends are gay, another are trans, and a very small minority are straight and cisgender, so I promise you, that if I had any sincere belief that Rowling went against any minority, I would've been ferociously against her. I would've. And with that aim I set out to read her every tweet, and you know what I found?

She never actually says anything wrong about transgender people. Never. In fact she doesn't speak against them, she speaks in favour and defense of women and against sexist, violent men. Not against trans people. And I had this conversation with my transgender friends, asking them why they'd gotten offended exactly, and when they looked at Rowling's tweets, you know what they told me? That that wasn't what they'd been told she'd said. Because like many of you, they'd read some rumour in social media, some article in the press, and got so angry they never bothered to actually read what she'd really said, in their context (meaning, following the Twitter conversations and everything, not isolated tweets either). But when I showed them? They were baffled. And they understood she wasn't transphobic. It's been years, and I still don't have a friend who does not stand with J. K. Rowling. And that, listen, that includes Jews, trans, gays, lesbians, and so on, because like I said, I work in the Arts, which as you know is one of the most diverse collectives. And another thing that I noticed was how much had been lost in translation. English is not my first language, but as you can see I mostly manage all right. But when I read translations into Spanish and French, they missed so much about what Rowling had really said, and twisted so much. So let me give you a brief summary of what she actually believes:

2. LET'S DELVE DEEP INTO ROWLING'S ACTUAL WORDS.

Sex is real. If you're born with female or male sex that cannot change. We know this to be scientifically and medically true, which is why when you have surgery to transition, for which a friend of mine is preparing right now, you need to have lots of hormonal medications to try and keep your body behaving as the gender you identify with and against your sex, and the minute you stop, your body will naturally begin behaving like your sex again. And this doesn't change even if you have surgeries, this is for life. If you don't believe me, simply check medical websites, I promise you this is true.

It is dangerous to have transgender women who have not undergone a physical transition in the same private spaces as women. I know this point is very contentious, but before you get angry, hear me out. This is not because anyone thinks transgender people are dangerous. This is because men have proven to be dangerous. What's more common, for a man to rape a woman, or for a woman to rape a man? how often do you hear of women who were murdered by their male exes or even partners, or relatives? I mean, I've gone to several of those funerals and vigils for women and girls killed like that. So the idea behind not wanting trans women and women to share spaces where trans women might have it easier to rape women is that perhaps those trans women, if they haven't physically transitioned, still have the physical advantages of the male sex: more strength, bigger body, and a penis. Imagine my shock if I was getting naked in my prison cell and then I found a person physically stronger and bigger than me, with a dick, naked next to me, in a perfect opportunity to rape me. Would I call them a trans woman? No. But they would call themselves that, and use it to get into that space. That's why Scotland had to backpedal in their laws allowing people to identify themselves as trans women and go into female prisons, because they had several cases in which this resulted in women being raped by trans women, or by people who claimed to be. Because as we all know. plenty of men who are sexual predators will identify as women not just to have access to women, but to have access to transgender women as well, and rape them, and kill them. So it appears that in order to keep trans women and women safe from male predators, we need to make sure that no one with biological advantages of men can share private spaces with them. And if this means having a separate prison for people with the physical built, strength and sexual organs of men, so that they cannot predate on anyone, I vote we do it.

Women won't wheesht. This refers to the fact that achieving rights for someone shouldn't mean removing them for someone else. So in order to give transgender people rights, we cannot take them from another collective, in this case, women. If women are shouting they're terrified of being raped and killed, we need to listen. It is a disrespect, a sexist, female-erasing, cruel thing to do, to ignore them and force them to accept sharing spaces they don't want to share with anyone else. And the only thing that imposing transgender women in their spaces is going to cause is what's happening now: violence, harassment, and an imposibility to have peaceful conversations, not to mention an immediate dislike and fear of transgender women. So instead of achieving transgender rights by harassing someone else, we need to give them their own things. For example, say you have a sibling and you want their room, right? well, harassing them into letting them share it is not going to work. You'll never again get along with your sibling. But asking your parents to build you your own bedroom will keep both sides happy. That's what Rowling and people like me believe in. That fine, if you don't feel safe sharing spaces with people with a dick because you don't want to be raped and murdered, hey, neither do we. So why don't we respect each other's fears and safety wishes and each have our own spaces? And then we can all feel safe around people exactly like us.

Transgender CHILDREN shouldn't be able to go through life changing, irreversible surgeries to remove their sexual organs without plenty of check-ups with doctors and psychiatrists or psychologists who can make sure the child fully understands the risks. This is due to the avalanche of feedback we have from detransitioners who spoke up about having been brainwashed, having given "informed" consent that wasn't actually very well informed, and having deeply regretted surgeries they did without really knowing what was going to happen, and that have now caused them chronic pain that cannot be cured and irreversible physical, mental and emotional damage.

That's all Rowling has said. Nothing against transgender people. She's only worried about the safety of children and women. Period. And I can tell you that with my hand on my heart because I have read her every tweet, and I have also read her open letter against cancel culture, and plenty of articles on the matter.

3. LET'S TALK ABOUT JEWS.

Now about the Jewish thing. Rowling is NOT an anti-Semitic. The first person who called her anti-Semitic was a Jewish man called Jon Stewart, who did so jokingly, and who was immediatelly appalled by the harassment Rowling received from people that took him seriously, forcing not just him, but also multiple Jewish celebrities, Jewish organisations and Jewish charities, to speak up in support of J. K. Rowling and publicly state that they don't believe she's anti-Semitic.

I bet you've only been reading from people who think like you. Many of you, the second you've heard something you didn't like, shut the other person out, called them insults and names, labelled them as Terfs, transphones and anti-Semites, and refused to listen. And if you never hear the people you disagree with, you're never going to hear anything but validity, even if your ideas are insane. Like the flat-Earthers. And all you've been reading from Rowling have been things taken out of context, or told to you by someone else. Do your people ever encourage you to read extract from the source? no. Do they ever show you receipts? only if they've been carefully trimmed.

But people have agendas, you know? That's what happened with Nazism. So you get a collective of Trans Radical Activists, radicals who might not even be actually trans, but know that if they fight women, people like Rowling, and put enough pressure in the governments, they can make laws change so that men, not trans women, but men pretending to be trans women, have easy access to rape women and trans women. Think about it. Wouldn't it be incredibly smart for alt-right men to infiltrate the Transgender activism to start violent fights against women, calling them cunts, telling them to kill themselves, and telling them to suck dick, making women the bad guys, convincing trans people that women are out to get them and to kill them, and getting lawmakers to make laws that allow anyone to simply say they're women and go into female prisons or lockers? Hold on. That's exactly what's happened. I don't believe for a second that the TRAs are all transgender. I believe many of them are alt-right men. And you'll identify them easily by their sexist, violent behaviour and speech, and their whole discourse against women and claims that women like Rowling actively threaten trans people's rights, when none of it is true.

So now say the TRAs, who want women to have less rights and men to have more, and who want to easily be able, as men, to infiltrate spaces that were previously private to women, so that they can no longer have their own spaces, find something else that gets people furious towards their enemy. Rowling has stood against alt-right men her whole life. Naturally, when they saw someone call her anti-Semite, they jumped into that waggon. Another opportunity to get someone cancelled. To demonise a defender of women, until there's none left. So that's what they did. They called her anti-Semite, came up with the whole BS about the goblins, made lots of things up, took more stuff out of context. And because they were in the trans collective, aka, "the good guys", the perceived victims, people have been far more inclined to believe them, to listen to them, and to be compassionate to them. But let me tell you, if these men are allowed into female spaces, and actual trans women find themselves in those spaces with them, they'll be in as much danger as any other woman, if not more.

Now you probably think we're crazy and paranoid. Question. Is the transgender collective telling you that? and if so, isn't it a little suspicious that someone wants to convince you that someone else is being paranoid? that they're out to get you? Because that's what they're doing. Me? Rowling didn't convince me. Nobody had to. I just had to read the news, like I told you I do all the time, and see all of this coming true. See women being repeatedly harassed, sexually and physically, threatened, often by men, far-right men who are strangely, suddenly, very interested in trans rights (isn't that also suspicious?), and seeing all the news and personal stories around me of women being raped because a man was allowed to identify as a trans woman and put into their space, where they had freedom to rape and murder. This is out in the news. The real news. And it's happening all over the place, which tells you I'm not being paranoid or dellusional, I'm telling you what's going on.

This is how Nazism worked as well. It started with Nazis who wanted a kind of economical power that at the time was in the hands of Jews. Do you remember when people tell you immigrants take jobs! women are transphobic! black people are criminals! All that is classic far-right speech. And it's all studied in the Nazi propaganda techniques, which had been long studied and employed by all politicians across the globe. What you do is identify one minority you can blame for current problems, and turn the world against them, in such way that the public doesn't realise all you're doing, supposedly to erase the problem, that is actually just to make you more powerful. The Nazis decided Jews shouldn't be having so many businesses and thriving economy, so they demonised them, said they were greedy, thieves, the inferior race, less good than aryan people, criminals, that they didn't deserve to live. The Nazi was a legal party that was elected to remove the problem, much like Trump was elected to end the problem of the immigrants and the POC. And legally, Hitler got his people to vote for him to have more and more power, until he could rule the world, on the basis that he'd do it to rid them of the Jews. Only that then he didn't stop with the Jews. He went after "traitors", after gypsies, after LGBT, after POC, and so on. And they took or burned art and books along the way.

So now think again of who's supporting Hitler-like conducts. I'm not supporting anyone who's telling me not to listen to opposing opinions, who's telling me to spread a message of threats, harassment and sexual insults, nor who's telling me to burn books, culture, and cancel, silence, erase, eliminate anyone who has an opinion other than mine. You are. And that's what's Hitler-like. That's what's fucking dangerous, and a threat to freedom of speech, to democracy.

Going back to the bloody videogame. You know why they call it anti-Semitic or blood libel? first was with the goblins. Now that speech seems to have died down because we're pointing out that seeing goblins as Jews is more Nazi-like, than non-Nazi. That they're simply folklore. So now they shut up about that. Now they tell you that the Avalanche developers (that's the company behind Hogwarts Legacy) are anti-Semites. That's based on the fact that an alt-right, Troy Leavitt, was the lead designer of Hogwarts Legacy. Well, you've been pleased to know he's lost his job now, and also, that Avalanche is full of normal people just like us, and that the alt-right was a minority. This guy, perhaps one or two more we're yet to know about, which, given the amount of alt-right worldwide, it's safe to say that every big company has at least a small amount of alt-right employees or even bosses.

But it takes thousands of people to make a videogame as big as Hogwarts Legacy, and just because two or three are alt-right, it doesn't make the game anti-Semitic. We're taking the game from them. We're making it ours. And personally, I've been playing for a few days now, and there's nothing even remotely far-right or anti-Semitic. Any war game I've ever played is far more anti-Semitic and racist and sexist than this one will ever be.

And in any case, before you go like dumb sheep simply believing what people say, I encourage you to make your own informed opinions. Don't be lazy. Empty your brain from judgement and make your own research. Be like scientists. But believing whatever BS you hear from people who've never played the game about said game, from people who've never read Potter about Potter, and so on... That is such a stupid thing to do. Such a brainwashing. You don't believe someone can cure you if they don't show you a CV and reputation as great doctors, so why do you believe a word from people who haven't even researched the thing they criticise, on their own, not through other's comments and ideas?

But hold on! Don't just take my word for it. Don't just believe me. Please, do research. It's time-consuming, but you're going to want to read the news, who are TRAs, their links to the alt-right, Rowling's actual tweets, who Troy Leavitt is, what Avalanche Software is, and you're going to want to read the news about female violence, legal changes, and detransitioners, and a horrible thing called transmaxxing, which will really open your eyes. I won't tell you to burn books. I'll tell you to open books, newspapers, everything... And get really informed. Knowledge is power.

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effervescentdragon · 6 months

Note

Hi! I just wanted to say that this week I chose to read some of the fics you have up in AO3 ( and by some of them I mean a lot) and I'm obsessed with your Sebchal Old Guard AU.

I haven't watched the movie yet, but I've been tempted in the past and your writing was the last reason I needed to do it.

That scene when Sebastian has apparently died and Charles holds him while praying in Latin, and he is so devastated about losing Sebastian because immortality is only a gift if Charles gets to share it with him.

That was..WOW..Yeah. No words. Tens across the board.

Those dreams of Lewis and Nico. The ending in Suzuka when Charles is wearing red again. People choosing to spend immortality together just really gets to me, I guess.

That fic really did something for me, and I have to thank you for it.

PS: your Nico/Jenson Soulmate fic made me see why people ship those two.

PS 2:"Red Gods of Old" is so phenomenal. I had to keep pausing to look at the wall and think about every paragraph.

PS 3: I was blown away when I saw you posted again, and blown away again because I had already read the Piarles piece, but didn't realize it was part of a series. I loved your first chapter. So angsty, and I hated the fact that you made me relate to Lando, but also thank for that.

Thank your for sharing your writing, and I know sending this right now seems so convenient because of your post earlier, but I really enjoyed the reading sprint I had on your stuff and I wanted to say so. Sorry for writing so much this got a little bit longer than the single paragraph I had intended it to be. :)

anon this made me so happy. like so so so happy, insanely happy. the answer is gonna get long because i cant not ramble about all this, so, cut.

my sebchal old guard au is my favourite thing ive ever written and i love it so much and people dont often go for it, though i do have some wonderful asks in my inbox that im saving for a rainy day and i just. thank you for coming here to tell me this and i hope you watched the movie because its MASTERFUL. i put so much into that fic, for example i tried to figure out how to make two white boys be joe and nicky without being insensitive or appropriative about race, and how not to apply the fundamentality of joe's loveliness of being an arab man (gentle and kind and a poet in his soul) to this german dude. that one kept me up for a while, so i decided not to mirror it perfectly but to apply seb and charles' personalities into the context, except adapting the other way around. it was a challenge to write, because i wove so much little ideas and nods to other people in there, not the least lewis and nico as andy and quynh, and then in the end i just really wanted them to come a full circle and somehow tie it in with f1. i always do this in my au's, give a little nod to f1 somehow, just to show my love for it. anyways, thank you so much for reading it and just. i love that you liked it.

oh god the princess cake soulmate fic - i saw the prompt and i couldnt resist! it turned out to be a prompt by a tumblr friend so that worked out even better. i love nico and i love him with jenson and i need to get back to writing him some more soon tbh. he is such a complicated and interesting character and he has twists and turns and i just love him insanely much. (if you liked the soulmate fic, i refer to this fic as my princess cake master thesis, so you may like that one too, maybe.)

oh my fucking god. this part. this part had me stopping in the middle of my corridor when i saw it because like. nobody reads that fic? nobody knows it and its my first proper rpf that i wrote and i love it so much and i just. im just heart-eyeing you now, because that was me trying to figure out some things about seb and about ferrari and to make it work in my head so i know how to proceed, so, thank you for reading it, and especially mentioning it!

thank you also so much for reading my carlando, im very excited about it because i never wrote them and im a bit nervous about the characterisation but so far it seems like it has a positive reception. i made it angsty on purpose because lando is just a ball of anxiety and i rly tried to show it. im super hyped about the next chapter two, but please keep all your limbs crossed for my uni work, which i have to do tomrrow on penalty of death.

please, never think its inconvenient to read something as lovely as this ask, no matter if its because of a post i made or just because, it literally doesnt matter, because you took the time to come and tell me these lovely things anyway. it made me happy and it made me hyped up and thank you. and there's never ever too much rambling, i dont see this as rambling i see this as something lovely. thank you <333

#can you tell how excited i am to talk about all of this?#THANK YOU #lovely anons <3 #wholesome wholesome wholesome #akira answers asks #about my writing. i ramble a LOT.#some shameless self promotion too bcs if i dont #who wil :D

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freakingoutthesquares · 11 months

Text

Russell Senior birthday 18.05.23. A flashback to 1980 - 19 year old Russell created this Sheffield Edition of The Bath Banker Fanzine, 30p including free fortune telling fish!

I have transcribed as best as I can - the fanzine scans (PulpWiki & Bar Italia Forum) show the original fanzine is faded and so it was hard to read in many areas. I've kept in the spelling mistakes.

I believe the rest of the fanzine was scanned (but not uploaded) but not positive about that. As ever, always on the lookout for an actual copy ... hopeful, but not holding my breath.

Text below:

PULP—Teenage Kicks riff on ½ acoustic guitars but different words. They claim to have written "Stepping Stone" - it's the definative version! "Subtlety time, dedicated to Elvis" sounds like "Don't Fear the Reaper" a bit. A dirge. "Message for the Marshians" with a keyboardist who hadn't learnt the other songs. Another dirge. The appearance of the front man is entertaining. A fun band. Tuning up of hopelessly out of tune semi-acc. "Happy House" riff out of tune, different words. "I won't say that this is the penultimate song because that's pretentious. "This is for dancing but I don't suppose anybody's going to dance. Sounds like "Christine" and is a disco spoof! I wonder what Kieth Strong would say. Vast cheering for encore.

--------

THE CURE APPARTMENT PASSIONS BRISTOL LOCARNO ANOTHER LATE JOURNEY BY TRAIN

INTO A PUB WHERE WE HAD A LITTLE GAME (WHICH YOU MIGHT LIKE TO TRY YOURSELF) THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY YES OR NO HAD TO ASK THE BARMAN HOW OLD THE WATTLE ON THE ROOF WAS. OF COURSE BARMEN DON’T USUALLY KNOW WHAT WATTLE IS SO THE LOSER WOULD LOOK A PRAT, AND INDEED WAS.

ONTO THE HALL AND VARIOUS MODS, PUNKS AND RUDE BOYS WERE BROODING ABOUT. INSIDE IT WAS JUST LIKE A TOP RANK ONLY MORE PLUSH. THE FIRST BAND CAME ON AND PLAYED A GOOD SET OF FAIRLY STRAIGHT “NEW MUSAK” THE QUALITY OF THE SONGWRITING WAS VERY HIGH, INTERESTING AND CATCHY AT TIMES WEIRD. THIS WON THEM INCREASING APPLAUSE AND ENCORE CALL. THEY A DIFFICULT JOB TO DO BECAUSE THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE NIGHT WASN’T EXACTLY CONDUICIVE FOR A BAND IN THEIR POSITION TO GO DOWN WELL. WORTH SEEING IN A SMALLER VENUE AS A MAIN BAND. SHARP TREBLY GUITAR CONTRASTED WITH A RUBLY BASS SO THAT THE TWO SOUNDS WERE TOTALLY SEPARATE. THE VOCALIST (THAT MEANS SINGER BUT SOUNDS MORE INTELLECTUAL) DID SOME POPPING, TINNY SOLOS USING HARMONICA TO GOOD EFFECT.

THE PASSIONS WERE A VERY ODD BAND, PERHAPS THE MOST EXPERIMENTAL OF THE NIGHT. THE LEAD SINGER & BASE WERE WOMEN IN ILL-FITTING SUITS. THE GUITAR DOMINATED THE SOUNDS BY USING VARIOUS EFFECTS AND TAPES. THE MUSIC DIDN’T GRAB ME MUCH, THOUGH IT COULD WELL DO ON REPEATED LISTENING. DISCORDANT, “HUNTED” IS ONE THE LESS EXTREME SONGS SOULFUL SINGING. UNFORTUNATELY THEY HAD TO GO OFF AFTER FIVE SONGS AS A MIKE WOULDN’T STOP FEEDING BACK. NOT THE KIND YOU HEAR ON NOEL EDMUNDS. BUT NEITHER ARE THE CURE AND HE PLAYS THEM. (SHAME COS ONLY JOHN PEEL SHOULD PLAY GOOD BANDS.)

SO TIME FOR THE BIG BAND. VARIOUS TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. MINIMAL EQUIPMENT AND CREW MEANS A LONG TIME GETTING THINGS JUST RIGHT, PARTICULARLY THE ANGLE OF THE LIGHTS. “NEW MUSICAL CONCEPT – JUST WATCH THE ROADIES SETTING UP” QUIPPED A WAG. CHANTS GO UP. EVENTUALLY THEY PEEP AROUND THE CURTAINS SMILING, RAPPORT IS IMMEDIATELY ESTABLISHED. THIS MUSIC WAS LIKE A DREAM, DRIFTS OF WORDS AND MUSIC, COOL INTROSPECTIVE, THOUGHTFUL, ETHEREAL DREAM/NIGHTMARE. THEY HAD AN ATMOSPHERE THE BAND DID NOTHING BUT HAD AN AWESOME STAGE PRESENSE, NOT SUPERHEROES. SLEEPY HALF SHUT EYES, CAREFULLY POSITIONED LIGHTS SHONE UP AT ABOUT 15” FROM THE FLOOR BATHING ROBERT SMITH’S FACE WITH A SPECIAL GLOW. THE SONG “FOREST” WAS A MICROCHOSM OF THE CONCERT. AS IN THE SONG, THE CONCERT WENT DEEPER INTO THE FOREST TO GET LOST AMONGST POWERFUL IMAGES, “KILLING AN ARAB” WAS THE LEAST WELL PERFORMED SONG “GRINDING HALT” AND “FOREST” THE REST. MORE FORCE THAN THE ALBUMS. THE ATMOSPHERE CREATED SOMEWHAT ON RECORD WAS TOTAL IN CONCERT. FOREST HAD A FALSE ENDING AND STARTED UP AGAIN MUCH TO THE SURPRISE OF THE AUDIENCE. THEY WENT OFF AND CAME BACK TO TWO ENCORES WITH FIVE SONGS IN ALL. THEY DIDN’T GET THE RESPONSE THEY DESERVED BUT THEN THE CURE ARE A BAND TO SAVOUR NOT GO WILD ABOUT. THEY SOUND LIKE THE PICTURES ON THE RECORDS.

THE ROADIES SAID WE COULD SEE THE BAND IN 15 MINS AND WE GOT CHUCKED OUT AFTER 1O. A BAND IN EMPATHY WITH ONE ANOTHER INVISIBLE WIRES CONNECT THEM. STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU SEE THEM. – RUSSELL.

_________

YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT MARK JACKSON HAS BEEN BANNED FROM THE LEADMILL FOR SEXISM, AN ORGANIZATION I HAVE ADMIRATION FOR. SUSPECTING SOMETHING FISHY AND OUTRAGED AT THIS UNFAIR AND MISGUIDED ACT I QUESTION ONE OF THE ORGANIZERS. MY FAITH RESTORED SHE ASKED ME TO PRINT THAT IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM IS THIS TRUE. SO HERE IT IS:-

MARK JACKSON HAS NOT BEEN BANNED FROM THE LEADMILL.

AND ALL THE ORGANIZERS LIKE HIM AND SAY HE’S WELCOME BACK.

----------------------

1980 – THE FIRST 15 MINUTES – NEUTRON RECORSD

THERE MAY BE SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THIS RECORD. IT HAS FOUR TRACKS BY FOUR SHEFIELD AREA BANDS. IT COSTS £1.20ISH. AND COMES IN ATTRACTIVE PACKAGING.

VICE VERSA – “GENETIC WARFARE” ELECTRONIC SYNTHEISED, SPACE. SOME BITS GOOD, OTHERS ? DERIVATIVE “I AM THE FLY/I LOVE MY WIFE”

I’M SO HOLLOW – “I DON’T KNOW” WAILING RIFF WHICH IS NOTHING SPECIAL, GOOD WAILING VOICE, STRANGELY HOOKY, VERY VERY, VERY, VERY….

CLOCK DVA – “BRIGADE” SONIC DRUMMING AND RIFF, CHUGGING MILITARISTIC RHYTHM, SPACE SAX AND KEYBOARDS, SINGING EMOTIVE, PIPING SOLOS, WAILING VOICE, CRESCENDOES, STRONGLY RECOMMENDED.

STUNT KITES – “BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE” DEFUNCT PUNK BAND, AN UNCOMPROMISED SEX PISTOLS “COME ON AND JOIN THE IN CROWD/ COME ON AND HAVE A BITCH.” “YOU’RE AFRAID TO LET YOUR HAIR DOWN COS IT MIGHT SPOIL THE DYE.” 1977 AT IT’S STUNT KITEST. ONE FINDS ONSELF SINGING IT IN THE STREET.

______________

ALTERNATIVE ENTS – MONOCHROME SET / ESSENTIAL LOGIC / FAD GADGET

______________

THE TICKETS FOR THIS DID NOT SELL WELL BECAUSE UNIVERSITY TASTES DO NOT VENTURE INTO ANYTHING REMOTELY REMOVED FROM COMMONPLACE.

IT WAS AN AMBITIOUS EVENT TO STAGE, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT OUR LOVELY PREZ HAS TURNED DOWN THE UNDERTONES AND TOYAH AS BEING TOO RISKY. THERE WERE ABOUT 15 FILMS IN ALL. THE FIRST ONE CONSISTED OF A FEW DOTS BOUNCING UP AND DOWN. OTHER FILMS WERE A NAZI PROPAGANDA FILM, ANDY WARHOL BITING HIS LIP FOR 15 MINUTES, THE LONDON SCHOOL OF ECONOMICS SIT-IN. BY FAR THE BEST FILM WAS ONE ABOUT TWENTY MINS LONG IN B&W WHICH WAS, I THINK, FRENCH. IT WAS A SERIES OF SILENTLY CONNECTED NIGHTMARISH EVENTS. A MAN IN A STRNAGE DRESS CUTTING A LITTLE GIRLS EYE, A WOMAN IN A BUSY STREET SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE PUSHING A DISMEMBERED HAND ABOUT. THE MAN IN THE DRESS RIDING A BICYCLE TO A WOMANS HOUSE, GOING INSIDE AND ATTACKING HER. SHE FIGHTS HIM OFF AND FOR A WHILE HE STANDS BACK, THEN IN WHAT SEEMS TO BE A FLASH OF INSPIRATION HE STARTS PULLING ON A ROPE AND DRAGS TOWARDS HER A PIANO WITH A DEAD HORSE AND TWO PRIESTS WITH THEIR HEADS IN NOOSES. IT WAS AS GARBLED AS THIS ACCOUNT.

FAD GADGET WAS A ONE MAN BAND APART FROM ONE SONG WHEN A GUITARIST JOINED HIM. HE PLAYED SOUNDS ON A SYTHESISER AND SANG ALONG. THE CLIMAX OF THE SET WAS “COITUS INTERRUPTUS/MISSION IMPOSSIBLE” IN WHICH HE TRIED TO COPULATE WITH HIS SYNTHESISER WHILST SWALLOWING THE MICROPHONE IN UNDERSTANDABLE HEAVY BREATHING.. THE AUDIENCE DIDN’T QUITE KOW HOW TO TAKE THIS – HE WENT OFF TO CRIES OF “WANKER” OR WAS IT “BANKER.”

ESSENTIAL LOGIC WERE ESSENTIALLY PUNK WHICH STARTED PEOPLE BOPPING, HOWEVER THE SONGS STOPPED AND STARTED AND CHANGED TEMPO SO OFTEN THAT LIKE AS NOT YOU WERE LEFT LOOKING STUPID DANCING. EVENTUALLY PEOPLE GAVE UP. A SAD CASE OF PUTTING BREAKS IN FOR THE SAKE OF IT. APART FROM THAT THEY WERE GOOD, A LITTLE X-RAY SPEX. WHEN ANY PUNK GROUP WITH A FEMALE SINGER (LAURA LOGIC) HAS A SAX LEAD THERE ARE GOING TO BE COMPARISONS.

MONOCHROME SET DIDN’T GO DOWN TOO WELL, THEY LOOKED CONSPICUOUSLY ART COLLEGE TYPES. THEIR MUSIC IS NOT EASY TO PIN DOWN, MOR EXPERIMENTAL WITH A TOUCH OF NOEL COWARD. GOOD BUT NOT VERY. “MONOCHROME SET” THE SONG WITH ITS AIRY VOIICE AND SULTANESQUE (NEW WORD) GUITAR STOPED DRUMBEATS WAS TYPICAL BUT BY FAR THE MOST DISTINCTIVE. THE LEAD SINGER LOOKED LIKE HE CAME FROM A SILENT MOVIE. THE WHOLE GROUP SEEMED DISTANT AND FADED, NO AUDIENCE RAPORT – I’D SEE THEM AGAIN THOUGH.

THE GIG WASN’T TOO PEACEFUL, AN AIR OF MENACE, BLOKES AT THE FRONT WERE VICIOUS AND SOMETIMES THE BOUNCERS OVERDID IT, THINGS WERE THROWN, FIGHTING, SHAM 69 SCENES AT THE END WITH A STAGE INVASION AND OBSCENITIES SHOUTED DOWN THE MICROPHONE, DAMAGE. TOWN PEOPLE ARE MORE LIVELY BUT SOON THEY WON’T BE WANTED BECAUSE OF A DESTRUCTIVE MINORITY.

-----------------------------

CALLED NEW MODEL SOLDIER

(DERIVED FROM SHOP)

RUSS: TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BAND

DAVE: WELL, I MET MIGGS AND PAUL (THE OTHER TWO MEMBERS – PAUL PLAYS GUITAR AND MIGGS PLAYS BASS + GRINDS A LOT) AT THE CLASH CONCERT IN JANUARY OF THIS YEAR. [LOSE 10 STREET CRED POINTS]

RUSS: I THINK YOU SHOULD GET A KEYBOARDIST

DAVE: WHY? [WHY DOES HE LEAVE SPACES]

RUSS: BECAUSE IT WOULD ADD THE NECESSARY ATMOSPHERE THAT YOUR SONGS DEMAND BUT LACK. [ WHAT JOURNALISM!]

DAVE: WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I SAID THAT WE WERE IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING A DRUMMER? [ARE THESE LYRICS]

RUSS: ER, GOOD IDEA.

DAVE: (SPEECHLESS)

RUSS: (PLOUGHS ON WITH NEXT QUESTION) i THINK THE THINGS WE’RE NOT SAYING ARE MORE INTERESTING THAT THE THINGS WERE ARE WRITING.

DAVE: i WOULD TEND TO AGREE WITH YOU ANYWAY, WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER AS A BAND SINCE THE END OF JANUARY… ER… ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HEAR ALL THIS?

RUSS: NO! WHAT ABOUT YOUR MUSICAL DIRECTION?

DAVE: I WROTE THE LYRICS AND PAUL WROTE ALL THE MUSIC, NOT INFLUENCED LYRICALLY BY ANY OTHER GROUPS. MY MAIN INFLUENCE IS HORROR STORY WRITERS, STEPHEN KING, HP LOVECRAFT (SOUNDS LIKE A SEXSHOP). “SOMETHING WICKED” ABOUT ELDER [????] (STRANGE BUT FASCINATING WORLD OF NMS) AN AQUIRED TASTE LIKE YOGHURT. PEOPLE SAY “WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT” BUT GET TO LIKE US LATER. THE ATMOSPHERIC SONG ABOUT JACK THE RIPPER (REMINDS RUSS OF SUBWAY SONG) PAUL CHUCKED IT AT ME AND SAID “SING THAT” AND I SAID “WHAT’S IT ABOUT?” AND HE SAID WORK OUT FOR YOURSELF, SO I SING IT A COUPLE OF TIMES AND I STILL COULDN’T WORK OUT WHAT IT WAS ABOUT. ABOUT A MONTH LATER WE STARTED USING IT IN THE SET, HE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS ABOUT JACK THE RIPPER AND ONCE HE TOLD ME THAT, IT SEEMED OBVIOUS. READING BACK WHAT I’VE JUST SAID, IT SOUNDS RATHER STUPID. [TRUE YOU ARE]

RUSS: TELL ME SOME JUICY FACTS ABOUT THE BAND

DAVE: JUICY FACTS? ALRIGHT, IN ACTUAL FACT, i AM AN ORANGE, PAUL’S A GRAPEFRUIT, AND MIGGS IS A BANANA.

RUSS: IRREVERENT SCOUNDRAL CAN’T YOU BE DECENT FRUIT LIKE LYCHEES?

pAUL: I’M DAVE, PAUL’S NOT HERE, AND SCOUNDREL IS SPELT WITH AN ‘E’

RUSS: WELL FOLKS THAT JUST ABOUT WRAPS IT UP, OH AND MARTIN FEATHERBY WAS HERE.

------------------------

UK Subs Pavilion 3rd May 1980 Review

This review won’t be long cos old Russell has got BIG PRINTING PROBLEMS at the moment. Besides, the gig wasn't very long anyway, although it was very eventful. Thus - as you will probably get bored if it's too long - here is a short review of the UK Subs.

I shall begin my tale on the train from good ol Wales. There were 20 to 30 Subs fans from Newport and Cardiff on there. I know this cos I have seen them at the Stowaway in Newport lots of times. Anyway, after even more punks got on at Bristol, I finally arrived at Bath. We stood on the bridge at first, watching the pretty colours get let into the Pavilion - blue-green, red, purple, white, tartan, yellow… lovely.

We went in after handing over our £2 worth of ticket. Not long after, as we settled down and were listening to the records we were knocked sideways. Obviously one little innocent bugger had said the wrong thing to the wrong person and woosh 60 people run after him (or his blood). Why did he have to run towards us! Just as we got over that the first band came on. Rip, tear, wack, grunt. They were awful (although better than those in the Nolan Sisters mould). I don't know who they were, but believe me, they were ten times less subtle than the Cockney Rejects and even less musically potential! After a few growls and the mass of spitting (both ways), they went off.

There were more fights in the interlude, more numerous and more violent. Bristol Cross fans were involved, so it seems because after it all died down, they formed a separate group in the middle and sang BRISTOL in football fan fashion. The atmosphere was electric from then on.

We decided to get a drink to cool down. No beer was on sale! We had a glass of lemonade. It was 25p. We decided to share it. The UK Subs came on and lo and behold, Charlie Harper was not drunk. The music was so loud it blew my ears off. At times it was so loud and full of fervour that I couldn't differentiate between the chords.

At first I thought they were going to play the first album in order cos they started with CID, I couldn't be you, I live in a car, Tomorrows Girls, (the first four tracks on the album). However, the first five minutes of this set over with they play some songs from “Brand New Age” which I wasn't familiar with.

The set lasted for 35 minutes. The crowd danced vigorously to the first 15 or so numbers, but only the fit endured it to the end of the set (another 8 to 10 songs!) Classics followed one another World war, rocker's warhead, Emotional Blackmail, crash course, Teenage. In the encore there was Stranglehold (of course) and B1C.

“B one C

B one C

I don't want to B one C.” Sung with as much effort and energy as CID at the start. There were two encores. The second had another new song, also disease and CID again.

“We’ve finished the numbers we'd rehearsed, so will start the set again… crash, crash, crash. “See that man dressed in black” … pogo, pogo. CID, CID, etc, etc.

People had got on stage by this time + one was arm in arm with Charlie Harper singing into the mic.

After the gig we went to the Crystal Palace and sunk a few pints of Dorchester… ah! A night to be remembered.

Taken from the original manuscript of Paul Pearce (Wales)

------------------------------

An interview with de tian the garbled version.

ME:- Tell us about yourselves.

PAUL:- There are four of us now, and we've all but abandoned the backing tape, which gives us a lot more scope.

ME:- About the record:-

PAUL:- We've only sold 200 out of 1000, 100 in Sheffield and 100 to rough trade. We can't get distribution because it's too odd. It was turned down by recommend, Projection, Bonaparte's, Small wonder.

ME:- Can you compare yourself to anyone else?

MARTIN:- We're not rock or pop. Not throbbing gristle. We don't use guitar, just natural sounds Over simple notes, Contemporary music avant-garde.

ME:- What about stockhausen?

MARTIN:- We’re influenced by him, but we’re not copying we’re also influenced by JArz, not [XXXXwnable

Paul: We're not subliminal. That's a load of bullshit.

ME:- The future?

Paul: We want to play London, sell the records. XXXX will make some proper In my flat. We like to present the music in a way that standard rock audiences can listen to eg yourself. Hence we have the magician And slides.

ME:- My experience was that I wasn't sure about the music, but I was interested.

MARTIN:- You can spend too much time worrying about, understanding, looking for reasons which aren't necessary.

Paul: Understanding doesn't come into it, EG status quo.

ME:- Tell me about “two Spires split” lyrics in “writings.”

PAUl. A long held idea. We both write a lot and wanted to put it into a XXXX It's sparse because it was typed up that way. Money isn't Our aim, We're all poor.

ME:- Why the magician.

PAUL:- All part of the visual presentation thing. This Afternoon Isn't ENOUGH Time to play (see review) We adapt our playing to what We're doing.

ME:- Are you going to play any of your hits?

PAUL:- A couple off the EP.

MARTIN:- there’ll be less structure. More improvised structure within a structure.

PAUL:- More emotion than with tapes.

ME:- What do you think of the local scene?

PAUL:- There's plenty going on. bands accept t0o easily that they'll Big. i don’t like Some of their motives. London needs to be shown what's happening. Clock dva are great advert. If people with more sense and money had been around Sheffield in the past days, they would have been something good were not standing for acceptance. It'll never get commercial like the push and the EXTRAS Who WERE ENGAGED and changed.

ME:- Which venues do you like?

Paul: The Rotherham Arts Centre, the Crucible. but its XXXXXX XXXX

MARTIN:- People doing it for themselves is good. I don't like XXXX XXXX AREN’T more important than other people. tWo spires is about A TENSION between Two Spires quite deep.

MARTIN:- A trendy load of crap. (He's not serious.)

PAUL:- The lyrics are A reflection on Sheffield, surrealism, It is XXXXXX.

PAUL:- Over 100 instruments, we like hitting things.

MARTIN:- Collecting personal instruments eastern XXXXX Via instrument. Sympathetic strings to give the Indian sound. we like clock dVA And the Lindsay string quartet.

ME:- What's your favourite colour?

THEM:- My eyes are bluey grey blue. Haven't got one XX? colour

THEM:- The next record will have alternative XXXX And a version of old Shep.

The end

This interview was tastefully garbled

at the express request of De Tians.

----------------------

THE SATURDAY LEADMILL

THE NEW VENUE ON LEADMILL STREET BETWEEN XXXX XXXX XXXX THE POLY ON THE SITE OF THE ESQUIRE CLUB. EARLIER IN THE DAY THERE WAS XXXX X XXX CRAFT FAYRE.

THIS WAS A GOOD EVENT HAVING A RING OF THE MEDIEVAL MIXED WITH THE SIXTIES, ADD A DASH OF LIME AND YOU GET A REFRESHING COCKTAIL. WITH XXXXX XXX BUT XXX XXX (WHOLEFOOD YOU KNOW) WAS DELICIOUS XXXX XXXX XXXX APPLE JUICE, QUICHE, FLAPJACK + ALL THE MUESLI XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX VARIOUS JEWELRY STANDS, POTTERY. WE BOUGHT XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX AN UNCANNY RESEMBLENCE TO MY DAD. THEN DO YOUR OWN XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXX PEOPLE HAD THOSE. THE SHEFFIELD FREE PRESS HAD A STALL OUT BUT I’D ALREADY XXX XXX. BY FAR THE BEST ATTRACTION WAS ONE OF THOSE INFLATABLES, A 40FT SQUARE, XXFT HIGH CUSHION OF AIR. AFTER ASCERTAINING THAT YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BE A KIDDIE TO GO ON IT, A GREAT TIME WAS HAD.

BY THE TIME WE LEFT IT WAS STARTING TO FILL UP AND NO DOUBT THERE WERE EVENTS TAKING PLACE LATER. ON INTO THE DEEP GREY YONDER. NIGHT FELL (OR WAS IT PUSHED?) THE MUSIC WASN’T STUNNING BUT WAS A GOOD NIGHT AND TOTALLY WORTHWHILE ADVENTURE. (SUBTRACT AD)

LONG XXXX FOLKIE AS MUCH AS TULL OR SPAN OR INDEED SPAM. AS A XXXXX XXXX XXXX OF FOLK THEY HELD MY INTEREST. I CAN’T REALLY COMMENT BUT XXXX XXXXX XXXX AND [OFFBEAT?] WITH DISTINCTIVE VOCALS IN PART. SOMEONE OUGHT XXXXX XXXXX XXXX FANZINE BECAUSE I HAVEN’T GOT A CLUE.

XXX IT SEEMS THAT EVERYONE’S DOING A HOMEMADE BADGE. A XXXXX XXX TELLS ME THAT THEY GOT FIVE SONGS AND ABOUT TO DO A GIG. XXXXX XXXXXX SAYS THAT THEY’D LIKE TO PUT A BAND ON EVERY NIGHT.

EARTH TALES. AGAIN I CAN’T COMMENT ON THE MUSIC THAT I WOULD APPRECIATE EVEN XXX XXX XXX IN IT’S FIELD (IF YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN). THEY WERE XXXX XXXX AND XXXX XXXX WITH ME THOUGHT THEY WERE RUBBISH, THE OTHER GREAT. WISHY WASHY WRITE UP EH?

BREAKTIME – THE VENUE IS AN OLD LEADMILL WITH ONE [GLASS?] XXXX ALREADY IS XXX THERE ARE CLOAKROOMS, FOOD AND A BAR (ONLY SURE XXX XXXX THE XXXX). GAY PAINTWORK, BUMPY FLOOR, SPACEOUS, XXXXSTY, XXXX OLD FURNACE SITS HAPPILY IN THE CORNER TO GUARD US FROM EVIL.

DE TIAN – IF THERE WAS A “BEST BAND” IT WAS THEM FOR ME, THOUGH NOT TO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. TWO MEMBERS FOR THIS GIG. ONE STARTED PLAYING A GUITAR AND THE OTHER SCRATCHED A WEIRD THING RESEMBLING…. (WELL IT HAD STRINGS ON IT). THE MOST DIRE DIRGE ENSUED. THEY THEN PICKED UP BONGO INSTRUMENTS TO DO A NOISE ON THEM. THEN THEY START SAYING “WHERE’S BOGART” AND “THIS IS TERRIBLE.” MARVO ENTERS TO A SPLENDID MUSICAL BACKDROP. SOMETIMES HE IS MYSTIC, OTHERS FUNNY, THE BEST BIT OF THE EVENING (PS HE’S A MAGICIAN). THE BAND TAKE TO SYMBOLS. THE MUSIC DOESN’T REALLY HAVE A MELODY OR TUNE, BEING NEARER ORIENTAL THAN WESTERN MUSIC. THIS CAUSES DIGESTIVE DIFFICULTIES. UNDANCEABLE. THE EP TRACKS I’VE HEARD ARE STIMULATING. I’D LIKE TO SEE THEM AGAIN.

ONE DISADVANTAGE OF BUYING RECORDS AT GIGS IN SHEFFIELD IS THAT COMPLETE STRANGERS COME AND TAKE THEM OFF YOUR LITTLE SISTER. ONE VISIT TO THE BAR BROUGHT YET ANOTHER CROWD OF STRANGERS ROUND MY SMIRKING SIBLING MINUS ONE BOOKLET. “WHAT ARE THESE NASTY MEN DOING WITH YOUR BOOKLET” I ASKED. IT WAS OBVIOUS THEY WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF EACH OTHER AND REMARKING UPON EACH OTHERS UNDOUBTED UGLINESS. TURNS OUT TO BE “DEAF AIDS” WHO WERE THE BETTER BAND WITH WILKO AT BATH. THEY ARE ASTONISHED WHEN I TELL THEM I SAW THE GIG. IT IS A BIT UNLIKELY, ADMITTEDLY, TO MEET SOMEONE IN SHEFFIELD WHO SAW YOU IN BATH. TURNS OUT THEY WERE ENTHUSED BY THE BATH RECEPTION AND WANTED TO PLAY THERE AGAIN. PEOPLE SAY THEY ARE R&B WHICH IS OFF THE MARK, THE MEMBERS THEMSELVES DON’T THINK ARE R&B. THE NEAREST COMPARISON WOULD BE THE HEAVY METAL KIDS IF ONLY FOR THE HUMOUR OF THE FRONT MAN. LESS R&B THAN THE CRAMPS FOR WHAT IT MATTERS.

R.I.P. CLAIM TO BE REVIVALISTS. THE LEAD SINGER LOOKS LIKE A BRICKY AND PROBABLY IS. COMEDY BAND. PEOPLE DANCE, “BACK IN THE USSR” AND THE CATCHY “DEAD MEN’S CLOTHES” ABOUT ALL US OXFAM KIDS.

MARK JACKSON IS A POET WITH A FUZZY GUITAR, LIKE IN THE XXXXXXX JOAN AND XXX. HIS FIRST DITTY IS “16 STONE FANNY.” WHICH XX VERY XXXXXXXX SIDE OF PEOPLE. THE GUITAR BREAKS DOWN BUT HE CARRIES ON “NEVER MASTERBATES EXCEPT WHEN SHE MENSTRUATES” FEMINISTS TAKE OFFENCE AND XXXX XXXXXXXX TO THE FLOOR. “I NEVER THOUGHTT 8 STONES OF M COULD CRUSH XXXXXX XXXXXXXX!” HE THEN FACES A CONSTANT HARANGING FROM A FEW PEOPLE XXXX XXXX XXXX SONG IS ABOUT WORKING MENS CLUBS – FISH AND CHIPS, BEER, GIRLS. THE XXXX XXXXXX SEVERE WITH PEOPLE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM HURLING ABUSE XXXX HE XXXXX “I THINK I’D BETTER GO” YOU CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. HE GOES OFF XXXX BUT EVEN MORE APPLAUSE. BACK HE COMES, “THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE” (POINTS TO HIS FANS) “AND THIS IS FOR YOU” (TWO FINGERS TO THE HECKLERS). HE DOES A ONE CHORD VERSION OF “SO LONELY” EVEN THAT IS TAKEN AS SEXIST. AS A FEMINIST NON SEXIST MYSELF I DON’T FEEL TOO HAPPY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. SOME PEOPLE WANTED TO SHOW WHERE THEIR LOYALTIES LXXX XX DARK X IS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE. A MAN WHO TAKES THE PISS OUT OF BOTH SEXES. HE WASN’T TREATING WOMEN AS OBJECTS, MORE TAKING THE PEE OUT OF MEN WHO DO SO.

HEADROOM “THIS ONE’S SO FUNKY YOUR EARS’LL DROP OFF” SAYS THE SINGER. THE OTHER SONG HE REFERS TO PEOPLE AS “SISTERS AND BROTHERS” WHICH IS TAKEN AS A SEXIST ATTACK – CHANTS OF “BORING” FROM THE HECKLERS. UNESSCESSARY UNPLEASANTNESS. AGAIN I AM NOT INTO THIS MUSIC BUT PEOPLE DANCED, ON THE WHOLE THE AUDIENCE WEREN’T IDEAL. SIX BANDS FOR £1.

_________________

…. LATEST … NEW …

FROM … PLANET … X

THE “X HEAVIES CYNICAL” MANY, MANY YEARS AGO WAS RUNNING OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S IDEAS. THE SCOUTS HADN’T HAD A JUMBLE SALE FOR AGES, THEY HAD BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN TRYING TO PRECIPITATE A STRIKE DUE TO THE APATHY OF THE X-PEOPLE. FOR SOME STRANGE REASON NOT EVEN THE NORMAL TIVIAL THINGS SUCH AS TORY MPS SHAKING HANDS WITH LORD THORNEYCROFT WERE HAPPENING VERY OFTEN. SUDDENLY A BRAINWAVE STRIKES THEM! THEY BUY UP THE OLD STATION. SO THEY DID FOR A PEPPERCORN RENT, AND SINCE THEN WHENEVER THEY’VE HAD NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT THEY’VE JUST MADE UP A PACK OF LIES ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN: A DUMP FOR ATOMIC WASTE, A LAUNCH PAD FOR APOLLO 17, A MASSAGE PARLOUR, AN EROTIC FRUIT SHOP, A CRYOXXX BANK, A SPERM DONING BANK, A BLOOD BANK, A BARCLAYS BANK, A MOSSY BANK. A FILM SET FOR A STORY ABOUT A HOMICIDAL MANIAC – HEY THAT’S AN IDEA. OPEN SHOP AS A SAFARI PARK, WITH LIONS & TIGERS AND KIETH JOSEPH – BUT XXXXXX XXXX EAT THE LIONS AND ESCAPE AND THEN WHAT WOULD WE DO?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apologies for any mistakes - I did what I could, OK.

#happy birthday #russell senior #pulp #1980 #misc

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arlecchno · 1 year

Note

oh good lord , h i hope you know what youve gotten yourself into by asking for the fic … [insert evil laughter here] okay okay now actually , the fic series doesnt focus on serial killers it was just that one fic in the series , but the serial killer fic is Blind Mirror (linked) by StrangeDiamond on Ao3 !!!! i have the print copies of the series (behold my collection) i think i also have to mention that its not an xreader fic lol

songs of resistance isnt part of the series but yaknow whatever . the ragnvindr brothers are a passion of mine and theyre my favorites i love them so much SHIDJSKDKD AND WHILE WERE ON THE TOPIC OF FIC RECS if you just so happen to have my horrid taste in men (/hj ?????) and like alhaitham , heres another one of my absolute favorite fics , i just call it Summers Fic (i hope these links are working properly lmao) and its got our favorites !!! murder / crimes , slowburn , (kinda) enemies to lovers (i fucking love the banter the author writes between mc and haitham) , + forensics stuff !! which is totally my jam because im a stupid little science gremlin .

you saying my board looks cool is so funny to me because like its a literal stock image , and while i couldve gone without it , low quality stock images just make me giggle for no reason so .. its also a little surprising you think its detailed because when i was making it i felt like i had to condense so much information for textbox space😭😭

i actually do a handful of things in the arts department , ive written my own little short stories and poems , and every once in a blue moon (when i have enough motivation) i make games ! granted theyre not very good , because im pretty sure im jackshit at characterization LOL heres a silly authors note i put in one of my short story docs just cuz why not honestly

also , YES I AM A DAIN LOVER IM ACTUALLY HIS BOYFRIEND (REAL) /j . all the khaenriah boys in general are my little sillies (i say as if they arent older than me) SO IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT DAIN WITH MY MESSAGES ARE OPEN (and i am more than willing to spout theorist nonsense about him and the other khaenriahn boys as well)

also you absolutely do not have to worry about your wording of anything , none of it came off negatively at all ! i think youre very nice lmao

heres a little question to end off because im running out of creative ways to signoff , do you kin anyone from genshin ?

hoping the images dont glitch out ,

- jellyfish

OHHH WAIT i think i've heard of that kaeya and diluc novel thingy??? i'm pretty sure i've seen them around twitter or tiktok some time ago and omg i should check them out then!!! those covers look so good maybe i'll actually get around with the whole series now that you've mentioned it

and omg that summers fic you just linked is already so amazing. you've captured my taste in genshin men perfectly (i say as i drool over alhaitham). i just finished with the first chapter and the author have really captured my heart with the bits of forensics and crime, adding on with the tinge of arab culture too!!! i'm gonna go ahead and read them when i have the time hehe

you do short stories... poems... AND GAMES???? hello am i seeing this right

(p/s: i low-key do those kinds of a/n in my google docs draft for ma too... but they just never made it to the finalized version 😔)

and actually dain is in bed with me rn idk what you're talking about 🙄🙄🙄 /j

me personally i am very interested in khaenriah lore but i really haven't gotten to it (tbh the overall lore of the game is a lot to take in) but i probably will someday,, if i am not lazy /hj

and honestly... i don't exactly know who i kin in genshin tbh. so i have decided to take this VERY extensive genshin kin quiz (as per what they've named their site) and surprisingly i got... collei?

though when i read this, it made me realize that, maybe i do kin her. whoops

okay i'm heading to bed now it's 1 am and i'm busy tomorrow 😔 it was nice talking with you again jellyfish !!! have a nice day 🫶

#h answers #okay that quiz took me longer to do than expected #i was... baffled to say the least #how did this quiz capture my character quickly #jellyfish <3

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loelysian · 1 year

Text

marmoris (chapter 4)

(n.) the shining surface of the ocean

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3

pairing: namor x reader

word count: 4.6k

summary: with war against the wakandans on the horizon, namor demands that you stay back in talokan for extra security but this is your home too. you want to fight for your people and that is exactly what you plan to do.

note: since this one shot was written by me, a jewish arab person, it is hinted that y/n is also from those cultures but if you are not, that is fine. in this chapter, though, y/n does speak some arabic but still, feel free to apply your own experiences to the scenarios i've written about. please keep in mind that i am not fluent in yucatec so i've used a translator for any scenes in talokan. if you find i've upset you or there is an error in regard to lore (i tried my best to recreate certain scenes from the movie but i've only seen it once). please comment and let me know so i can fix it and apologize. i do not mean to offend anybody. i hope you enjoy.

warnings: some references to ptsd (from the rescue in wakanda), y/n blaming herself for what happened to shuri and parental problems.

It seemed as though you couldn’t escape the familiar flashing red lights that beckoned the people of Talokan to the center of the city, reminding you of the very same noises that haunted you in your dreams, that reminded you of what occurred in Wakanda. It was a warning to them that something serious demanded their attention and that you and K’uk’ulkan would be there to deliver important news. You knew the Wakandans were coming and you knew how strong your people were—that they’d be able to defend themselves and hold their own in a fight, but you still worried.

Namor’s invasion was out of pure anger for what had occurred to both you and the guard that happened to be watching over Shuri and Riri, and while you knew it was bound to start a fight, you hadn’t expected a battle of this size to escalate as quickly as it did. Then again, the water-bomb that hit the palace directly struck the Queen and Riri and you were unsure whether or not they survived. Shuri, the princess, had also been missing when you checked the shipwreck and whenever you thought of her innocent smile, a pang of guilt thrummed in your chest. You couldn’t help but feel guilty—like you were to blame for everything that was going on around you. You wished you could take a moment to catch your breath, to analyze what was going on and make a better plan, but Namor had your hand in his, your fingers tangled together in a mess akin to something comforting and was swimming as fast as he could toward the throne. You could do nothing but follow as you bit your lip, hoping the world would freeze for a moment.

All you needed to do was catch your breath.

That didn’t happen.

Thrown against the propelling bubbles, your body was forced down, down, down until you were perched in your chair that rested beside Namor’s as he addressed Talokan. You didn’t dare move a muscle, your face a haunted calm you were sure frightened those who knew you best. The people of Talokan regarded you as a rather joyous person—you liked to make others laugh, but right now you felt as though you couldn’t. Stunted. Despite wanting everything around you to take a pause, you felt as though you were the one frozen, unable to move an inch. You felt scared, that much you could admit.

Your worst fears were becoming a reality and there was absolutely nothing you could do to prevent it from happening.

Namor tapped on the staff he held in his left hand twice which acted as a voice projection and cleared his throat, speaking loud and clear.

“Bey bey in hubieran u engañado (it seems as though i have been deceived).” Namor spoke calmly and you were reminded of how much he embodied a true leader, which he was, but if anything were to calm you down from your state of panic, it was sure to be him.

“Le wíiniko'obo' Wakanda secuestró a Reina, ba'ale' afortunadamente, páajchaj in taasik le tin wotoch (the people of wakanda kidnapped your queen, but thankfully, i was able to bring her home).” gasps filled the room and it brought you a sense of comfort knowing how much your people cared for you. As far as they were away, you had been injured during a routine hunting mission. Not kidnapped. Never kidnapped.

“U kaajil Wakanda k ts'o'ok pedido jump'éel k'atun. Taak u luchemos xu'ullsa'al leti'ob (the people of wakanda have called upon us for a war. they want us to fight them).” You watched as the crowd began to murmur to the people around them, eyeing Namor curiously as he spoke to them. Despite the emergency alarm system that had echoed throughout Talokan, the idea of war was almost foreign to them. There had been years upon years of peace. You could tell it worried them, but they masked brave faces for their ruler.

“Ba'ax a unirás tin wiknal utia'al tokik k wotoch (will you join me to defend our home)? he asked. Another moment of silence, albeit muffled as the crowd spoke to one another in hushed tones once more. Finally, they began chanting, eager to get out into the water to defend what they'd learned to call home—what had been their home for centuries. Despite your wish to stay frozen for a moment to catch your breath, you nodded to the crowd which only seemed to excite them more.

You dared a glance at your husband who wore a smile you hadn’t seen in weeks. Reflexively, you wanted to join him, but the reality of what was about to happen was floating over your head like a storm cloud on the brink of rainfall, pouring all over you. The bad news? You didn’t have an umbrella.

Sitting upon the throne now reminded you of many times prior when the two of you had news to present that wasn’t nearly as bad. A drastic turn for the worst? There was no way of knowing. You fought the urge to reach out and hold Namor’s hand, a grounding technique that helped calm you down from whatever you happened to be panicking over. When you’d lived on land, you remembered reading something about activating all of your senses in order to calm a panic attack. How touch, sight, your sense of smell and so many other factors that incorporated your body correlated with mental health. For you, the carpet on the floor of your mother’s bathroom was the perfect balance of soft yet scratchy that for a moment, it pulled you right out of your state of panic and had you focusing on something else entirely. Sometimes, you would braid the stringed ends as well and when you grew tired of that, you’d lay on the cold, tiled floor and stare up at the ceiling which had off-yellow water stains from the time your bath had overflowed without you knowing.

You still weren’t sure how that had happened.

Nowadays, since your mother’s carpet obviously wasn’t in your vicinity anymore, grabbing onto Namor’s hand did wonders for your state of mind. Usually, he would question why you were so upset—what had caused you to react the way you did, but he always made sure to wait until you were fully calmed down. He knew you liked your space, but he also knew that if you were to approach him with red-rimmed eyes and pursed lips, he’d place his hand on your thigh and let you intertwine your fingers together. He’d remind you to breathe, and he’d make you look at him to remind you that you were never going to be alone again—that he was and would always be there for you.

You had to admit it helped a lot.

On certain days when he wasn’t by your side, likely off assisting someone somewhere in Talokan since he was their ruler after all, you unclipped the bracelet that sat on your wrist most of the time and examined the beads, tracing them with the tip of your pointer finger as you watched them slide around on the string they’d been placed on so many years ago. Namor’s mother had been the one to create it and you were still so grateful he had trusted you with it, knowing how much it meant to him.

As a way to repay him, you’d given him your father’s ring, a token that reminded you of home and a childhood that would never be forgotten, and with your hand pressed against his lips, he promised he would never take it off.

Namor was excellent at keeping his word.

You’d given him the ring a year ago and there was never a time he didn’t have it on him.

Engraved on the ring was a saying that was of great importance to your family. You’d taught him what it meant one night when the two of you were unable to fall asleep.

During restless nights, Namor liked to sketch you anywhere he could. On the walls of your bedroom, on a scroll, on the ceiling—he was enthralled with you. With your beauty and the way you held yourself. You were captivating.

It was storming on the surface of the water and despite how far away you were from shore, you could feel the thunder vibrating within the walls of your room. Thunder had always been a fear of yours and despite being exhausted from everything you had done that day, you knew you weren’t getting any sleep so you watched as Namor began sketching on a blank space you had in the corner of your shared room.

Your father’s ring shone brightly from the light in your room and sparkled where it stood.

“ʿaāʾilatiī hiya quwatiī wa ḍaʿfiī (my family is my strength and my weakness).” you spoke, enunciating each word carefully. It had been nearly three years since you’d spoken those words aloud. Despite the familiarity of it, it still felt foreign to you. Like you were intruding on something that wasn’t any of your business. Like you’d said something you weren’t supposed to.

You had been so caught up in your own thoughts that you hadn’t noticed your husband by your side, a comforting hand resting on your knee as he asked if you were alright. He wore a calm expression letting you know it was okay, so you breathed out and shut your eyes.

“The ring. That’s what the ring says. I don’t know why I wasn’t ready to tell you. I guess the finality of it all stung. It reminds me of my father.” you spoke slowly, your voice shaky as you bit your lip.

When you’d agreed to join Namor and his people in Talokan as opposed to staying on land, you’d had to give up your parents. You knew it would hurt you—never seeing somebody you cared for tended to do that, but you hadn’t registered just how badly it would sting.

Your relationship with your parents had been rocky at best after you’d taken the apprenticeship in San Diego. They were against you living so far away from home, but after the blip, when you’d had the chance to connect with them once more—to truly speak with them, you were beginning to question whether or not you'd made the right decision. Your brain told you yes. It had been your dream since you were a child, after all, but they were your parents. They’d raised you—you loved them more than anything. That was why your heart had told you no.

None of that mattered anymore anyhow since you were living with Namor, but the less you thought about your father and mother, the less it hurt, so you tried to forget they ever existed.

Though, when you’d given Namor your father’s ring, the bitter bile in the back of your throat felt taunting. For a moment, you began to wonder if this was a huge mistake. There was no going back now, anyhow, so you blinked for a moment, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall and handed it to him, closing his palm so you wouldn’t have to see it.

He’d looked at you confusedly, the soft reminisce of a smile creasing his forehead but you shook your head and pressed his hand tighter, your way of silently telling him to take it—take the ring and wear it.

Namor did. As a way to honor you, he never took it off. In fact, he wore it proudly.

You weren’t sure why you always told him you’d tell him what the engravement on the ring meant another time, but you weren’t sure you’d be able to say it without crying so when you finally did, you were shocked the tears never came.

“The saying. It is beautiful.” he spoke, his lips brushing against your ear. Despite your best efforts, you found yourself shivering into his touch, a small smile forming on your face. It felt good. This felt good.

You were happy he’d appreciated what was on the ring—that he hadn’t asked for answers, waiting instead for your response and your response only.

“I understand why it was so hard for you to tell me and I appreciate that you could.” then he did the unexpected. He took the ring off of his finger and placed it onto yours. At your confused gesture, he leaned down and softly pressed his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss, growing limp against his touch like you normally did when he finally separated to catch his breath. His eyes were so, so pretty. You cupped his cheek in yours and took a moment to stare at him—at your husband, admiring how lovely he looked, kissing the tip of his nose and finally, resting your head against his shoulder.

“This was a gift for you.” you said simply, holding your hand out in front of the both of you so you could admire your father’s ring.

“But I appreciate the way it makes you smile far more.” he rests his head atop yours and threads your fingers together.

“You would have loved my father.” you mumbled. While it still hurt to talk about, you felt you needed to. No more bottling things up.

“If he was anything like you, I’m sure I would.” he whispered against his hair.

“Sometimes I see him in my dreams. He looks youthful, leaning against my mother while they watch me swim in the ocean. I wish,” you cut yourself off. If you finished that sentence, you weren’t sure what might happen. It felt dangerous.

“I know you want to see him. I wish I could let that happen, but it is too much of a risk.” you shut your eyes, something deep in your chest aching. There was so much you wanted to say but you couldn’t muster enough strength to open your mouth.

You sat there for a long time remembering your childhood, everything you’d done with your father and that night, you dreamt of him.

It was chaos. Pure chaos as everyone raced to the armorer, gathering everything they could fit into their hands. In the midst of everything, you could hear the faint sound of children crying as everyone rushed, preparing themselves for the inevitable battle. The fish had warned Namor of the Wakandan ship that was toying in the water and despite wanting to believe they were using it for something else, you weren't naive. As queen, you couldn’t be.

Once you were back in your room, you took a moment to finally catch your breath, sliding down one of the walls and onto the floor, your knees pressed against your chest as you felt your emotions getting the better of you. There was a debate in your mind as you wanted nothing more than to join the fight—these were your people now too. You wanted to do everything you could to defend them from external threats. You had been training as well in case a moment like this were to arise, and seeing as it had, you knew what you had to do.

It took you a moment, but you mustered enough strength to pick yourself up and headed toward the armorer which was now barren, everyone having gathered in the center of Talokan to await orders from Namor. Inside the armorer was a secret compartment you were made privy to during your first tour—a place where a consorts armor was to be stored—kept hidden from the people of Talokan until K’uk’ulkan married. Now that he was, you reached into your pocket and pulled out the key to unlock said compartment and grabbed the colorful armor accompanied with a jeweled eye mask that reminded you of the bracelet that adorned your wrist. A quick glance over your shoulder let you know the coast was clear so you flung the armor over your shoulder and slipped out the same way you came in.

When you got back to your room, you were greeted with an anxious Namor pacing back and forth. He seemed to be deep in thought. You paused, wondering where you could quickly stow the armor so he wouldn’t notice it but you decided you’d just walk in when he turned toward you, his face full of exasperation. You watched as his eyes shifted toward the armor and back onto your face and did the best ‘I know you won’t agree with this but I’m doing it anyway’ face you could. His gaze stiffened. You could tell he had so much on his mind—so much he wanted to say.

“I can’t let you go,” was all that tumbled out. “If something were to happen to you,” his voice pulled on your heartstrings but this was something you had to do.

“Namor, my love, these are my people too. If Talokan falls then all of this,” you gestured at the intricately designed walls and glanced behind you at the open door, watching as Talokan’s rushed to the center of the city in clothing fit for battle. “Is for nothing.” it was a whisper and you wanted to bite your lip, a grounding technique you’d been doing since you were a small child, but you had to remain strong for the sake of yourself and for the sake of Namor.

“The people of Talokan need you. I need you.” and it was damning. His eyes were watering you could tell he wanted nothing more than to envelop you in a hug, pressing his head against yours as he held you close, whispering sweet nothings into your ears but there were more pressing matters at hand.

Your eyes met his and you held the armor in front of you, gazing at it. You had to admit it was beautiful like most things in Talokan were. That was why you had to go. That was why you had to fight. Even if you died trying. This was your home, too.

“You have to trust that I will be okay,” you reached you, then, the tips of your fingers ghosting against his as you whispered, “ʿaāʾilatiī hiya quwatiī wa ḍaʿfiī (my family is my strength and my weakness). Don’t let me be your weakness. Let me be your strength.” despite how close the two of you were, your voice was barely above a whisper as you stared into his eyes with intent. He was searching yours, trying to find something you knew was not there, so you took a step back, changing into the armor right in front of his eyes.

It fit on top of the clothes you were already wearing and it hugged your body well, snug in certain places but still yours. You were his consort. You were made to wear it.

Namor gazed at you in awe, starstruck. You could tell he was conflicted. How could you not?

“I’m doing this.” your voice was more firm, letting him know there was no room for bargaining.

“You must stick by my side the entire time. I cannot lose you.” was all he said before he intertwined his fingers with yours, swimming toward the center of Talokan.

War was near and you were ready to fight.

At Namor’s call, a school of orcas arrived right outside of Talokan, ready to carry everyone to the lone Wakandan ship that sat in the middle of the ocean. One of those orca’s happened to be yours—you recognized the fact that one of her flippers was smaller than the other and it brought a smile to your face knowing she was willing to help you once again. When the two of you had met, you’d named her Ara, which meant ‘to bring rain.’ You thought it was fitting since it had been pouring on the surface the day you’d learned to tame an orca.

Ara chirped in happiness, something relating to how happy she was to see you and you put a hesitant hand out, waiting for her to brush her nose against it. She did and chirped once more, repeating your name numerous times. After you’d taken the vibranium-infused liquid, you were able to understand all kinds of aquatic mammals.

“Hey girl,” you pet underneath her chest and much like a dog, she bumped her nose against your chest softly of course.

She chirped a warm hello your way and let numerous people hop onto her back, awaiting your command. You allowed yourself a glance over at Namor who was helping another group of people onto their orca. The two of you shared a soft smile before you mounted Ara and awaited Namor’s directions. Of course, all Ara could do was pay attention to you, her chirps almost distracting as she asked you about what you had been up to since the last time the two of you had spoken.

“I promise I’ll tell you after,” you whispered just as Namor spoke, his voice loud and clear.

“Tuláakal presten óolal! U'uyej ba'ax a arma ku ya'alik teech ka mantente enfocado. Ganaremos. Mantats' ku k meentik ti' le pasado. Talokan prevalecerá (everyone pay attention! listen to what your weapon tells you and stay focused. we will win. we always have in the past. talokan will prevail).” after he finished his speech, Namor lifted his staff in the air, the crowd cheering him on.

Once he was on his orca, he thrusted his staff forward and took off, Ara anxiously awaiting your orders.

“Go!” you shouted, smiling as she sped off into the deep blue sea.

It only took you a few moments to arrive and you had to admit you weren’t expecting the Wakandans to be so close. The shadow of their ship reflected off your body as you quickly tied your water-mask to the back of your head, instructing everyone on the back of your orca to do the same. You watched as Namor’s group jumped off their orca and swamped toward the surface but your eyes caught onto Namora who headed toward the propellers. She was likely going to stop the ship from moving, or sink it.

Namor had vanished as well, probably already fighting on the surface so you raised your voice, catching everyone’s attention.

“Tuméen in orden, mixba'al (on my command, swim up)!” you shouted, emitting nods from everyone who was still holding onto Ara.

You could hear the water-bombs firing off on the ship and the water grew shaky and uncertain as numerous bodies fell into the ocean. It reminded you of everything that had happened on Wakanda and you had to physically shake your head to stop the thoughts from affecting you.

“They probably need reinforcements,” you whispered to yourself. Everyone on Ara was anxiously waiting for the call and finally, you gave it to them.

“Báab (swim)!” everyone flew to the surface at once and the first thing you registered, like on Wakanda, were the screams.

You reminded yourself to stay focused. You’d get killed if you distracted yourself.

There were numerous Talokan’s using rope to pull themselves onto the ship but the Dora Milaje were one step ahead of your people, shimmying off the top of the boat to pluck everyone off one by one.

There also happened to be a flying suit in the air that reminded you of Iron Man but you ignored it, instead putting your focus on instructing everyone and fending off attackers that fell into the water.

You had a spear made of vibranium and luckily, hadn’t had to use it yet, but as more and more Wakandans fell into the water, you began to worry you were going to be outnumbered. With Namor nowhere in sight, you were technically in charge of the invasion and looked to find Attuma or Namora, his best trusted fighters to see what you were to do next, but they were either on the boat or gone. A sinking feeling in your gut settled in as you watched the battle go on knowing you should help—knowing you needed to assist them but you were frozen, your body unable to move from where it was floating on the surface.

A nudge against your legs pulled you out of your dangerous daze and reflexively, you pointed your spear toward what you thought had been an attacker though it was only Ara checking to make sure you were okay. She whined, worried you might have gotten hurt but you promised her you were fine and began swimming toward the boat, gripping onto the bottom of the rope. The Dora Milaje were nowhere in sight as your row pulled themselves up and onto the ship. Once you finally made it to the top, you were helped on board and everyone nodded in your direction as you tried to assess the damage. Namor was still nowhere in sight and the sun stung your back.

You tried looking for Okoye, but you noticed Nakia instead. She was busy taking care of about three people and the last thing you wanted to do was upset somebody with a weapon in their hands so you kept your distance, shouting for everyone around you to stand their ground. You outnumbered the Wakandans substantially but they put up a good fight—so did the Talokan’s though. They would do absolutely anything to defend their home.

Someone shouting Shuri caught your attention, though. You desperately searched the crowd for whose voice it belonged to but you came up short. You knew you’d heard it. That must mean she was alive, and if that was the case, maybe that was where Namor was.

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