#31 days of assassins | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whyse7vn · 1 month

Text

CARDBOARD BOX -

[ ot7 x reader ]

BTW ☠️😂

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: thinking about when we all lived together and jimin would make jungkook tap dance for food

jk: good times :D

namjoon: but jungkook cant tap dance?

jimin: exactly

namjoon: so you starved jungkook?

jk: no i tapped??

jin: horribly

jk: :(

tae: i liked it

jk: honestly 🥺?

tae: honestly

jk: :D

hobi: why is joon acting like he wasn’t there to witness it???

namjoon: sorry

i just tend to block out the traumatic memories i have with you guys

which is most of them

jin: jungkook was the one dancing for food not you

namjoon: being a witness to that was traumatic

yoongi: it was funny

jk: thank u

yoongi: no

namjoon: moving on

y/n: remember when jungkook would like disappear for 4 hours everyday and come back to the dorms at like 5 am

hobi: OMG YES

jimin: the era where he hated us 😪

yoongi: bring it back

jk: i didn’t hate you guys ☹️

tae: he was just getting his dick wet don’t worry about it

namjoon: he was barley 16?

tae: pussy slayer since 05 😝

namjoon: 05??

yoongi: he was 7 in 05

jin: victim since 05

jimin: jin was like 27 in 05

jin: ??unprovoked

and not fucking true

jimin: as long as you’re alive i’m provoked

y/n: 27 in 05 is crazy

jimin: i’m saying like 😭

hurry up and die maybe?

hobi: bros 31 ☠️

namjoon: ok stop guys

jin: fucking hate all of you

jk: omg it’s raining outside i’m so sad :((

tae: my fault stepped outside and mother nature just couldn’t contain herself

she freaky like that

hobi: paying for ur assassination

jk: what does that even mean

tae: the sky squirting for me bro

jk: oh

that’s nice didn’t know that was possible !!

can you make her stop tho

tae: tell namjoon to step outside and she’ll stop

namjoon: ???

tae: it will be hot and dry as shit if joon steps out ong

jk: namjoon pls step outside

namjoon: kook you need to stop taking tae’s word for things

jk: what

i take no words

i have my own

namjoon: nvm

y/n: life would be so much fun if one of you was a crack addict

jin: ????

yoongi: freak

hobi: real

jimin: namjoon is right here like….

namjoon: leave me ALONE

jk: i’ll be a crack addict for you

tae: i’ll be a better addict

jk: NO YOU WONT

tae: YES I WILL

y/n: shut up

jk: sorry ☺️💕💖

tae: i could so break jungkook’s legs

jk: ☹️

how will i tap?

hobi: you don’t need to tap anymore kook

ur free from that life

y/n: tap by taeyong

jimin: he may be free from tapping in this life but is the tapping life free from him?

yoongi: what

jimin: mentally jungkook is still my little tapping slut

jk: aw man ://

namjoon: did you need to call him a slut??

can we just be nice

jimin: yes i needed to call him a slut

he’s a slut

tae: he was sixteen tapping for you

ur calling a sixteen year old a slut

guys i think jimin is really weird for that actually

jk: me 2

jimin: so?????

you literally said he was fucking at 16 you indirectly called him a slut too

jk: right !!!!

tae: UMM NO???

i called him a pussy slayer actually

and that could mean anything

jk: like what?

tae: shut up jungkook

jk: ok

i’m sorry

it’s still raining

i’m upset

jin: anyways i think yoongi could be nicer

yoongi: ?????

y/n: yoongi’s great

jin: TO YOU

yoongi is actually really really mean and we need to talk about it

jk: i also think yoongi’s great !!

when i was sad about getting old and sick he told me i probably won’t get cancer and most likely die from getting stabbed at 30 on the 12th of december 3pm

namjoon: oh

y/n: yoongi….

yoongi: no cancer !!

jk: NO CANCER ^0^ !!!!!!

tae: yoongi being cold and mysterious will only get you so far in life

jk: yoongi don’t be cold

🔥🔥🔥

here

y/n: jungkook ur so silly

where are you

i want to bite you

jk: 😳

OMW HOME I PROMISE

WON’T BE LONG I SWEAR

jimin: take me back to the days where you had to buy bitches 46 plots of land and a horse to get pussy

i can’t do this being dumb ass hell shit

hobi: maybe ur just ugly idk??

jimin: ????

yo wtf

hobi????????????

hobi: who said that not me whatttt?

jin: that’s why taemin has jimin blocked

jimin: HE DOES NOT HAVE ME BLOCKED

yoongi: woah ok?

jimin: just saying

anyways

jin: ur ugly 😂

jk: beauty is subjective

yoongi: do you even know what that means?

jk: yes ofc ??

maybe…

no 😔

tae: subjective sex

namjoon: stop

tae: SUBJECT SEX

i class i would love to participate in

y/n: is this you telling us you don’t know how to have sex???

tae: NO

this is me telling you i love sex and partake in it often

hobi: stds

jk: i’m confused

why do you want to take a class on it then ???

y/n: right

you wanting to take a sex class implies you know little on the subject of sex actually

tae: SHUT THE HELL UP

jimin: nothing about my beauty is subjective btw

it’s fact

jin: that ur ugly

yoongi: lol

jimin: namjoon tell them i’m not ugly

namjoon: guys he’s not ugly

jin: he’s really ugly

y/n: namjoon tell tae to stop shouting

namjoon: taehyung stop shouting

tae: NO

NAMJOON TELL KOOK AND Y/N I KNOW HOW TO FUCK

namjoon: kook y/n taehyung knows how to fuck

hobi: namjoon i wont lie to you but u lowkey a bitch

jin: right

namjoon: thank you for that hobi and jin i also love you very much

jk: ohmygod joon loosing his mind again

that is NOT what they said

joon come back to us

fight this namjoon fight it

hobi: fighting by bss

yoongi: who fighting?

jimin: joon and his crippling coke addiction

coke winning

namjoon: can we not

tae: i’ll laugh when you overdose

y/n: exo core

namjoon: i just helped you what is ur issue??

jin: do you notice how yoongi appeared again when the word fighting was said????

we NEED to have this man locked up i’m telling you

yoongi: i’ll have you sectioned

jin: WHAT THE FUCK?????

NAMJOON TELL HIM TO TAKE THAT BACK

namjoon: yoongi take that back

please

yoongi: i take it back

jin: good

yoongi: not

jk: yikes jin he got you

yoongi ur really cool

yoongi: shut up

jk: sorry 😆

y/n: stop being mean

yoongi: cant help it :3

tae: who wants to see me split a watermelon with one hand

jk: ME ME

OHMYGOD ME I DO I DO

I WANT TO SEE

PLEASE SHOW ME PLEASE BEOFRE I PASSED OUT PLEASE

PICK ME TAE I WANT TO SEE ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEME

hobi: tae how is ur financial situation these days

tae: kill yourself

hobi: ok wtf???

i was just asking

tae: jungkook im sorry but no broken watermelon today blame hoseok

jk: hobi what the hell man i was really looking forward to the broken watermelon

y/n: i heard tae filed for bankruptcy

tae: NOT TRUE

jimin: i heard he lives in a cardboard box

tae: SHUT UP I DONT

jk: tae omg……… 😧

is this true

tae: NO OBVIOUSLY NOT

YOU WERE AT MY HOUSE YESTERDAY

AND I ORDERED US FOOD

jk: pls dont shout at me

i’m trying to remember if your house was a cardboard box or not

jimin: (it was)

tae: NAMJOON

namjoon: guys

jimin: ur no fun

y/n: sorry 😔

tae: yeah

you guys better be sorry

stupid idiots

jimin: shut up broke boy

namjoon: jimin please

jimin: whatEVER

tae: namjoon i don’t say this a lot because normally it wouldn’t be true but man i love you

guys i think me and namjoon were married in our past lives

cuz like were so in tune with each other

like he just gets me

i get him

i believe in every life we find each other

like we get married in every single life except this one

namjoon: no offence but in every life i would find you and divorce you if that were true

tae: oh

y/n: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yoongi: lol

jimin: no i see it the crack addict and the broke bitch love story

tae: at least someone gets it

nvm

should of read the whole message first

u guys are just closed minded

im telling you me an namjoon are like super alike someone thought i was him yesterday and he was so real and right for that

jk: i thought you said that guy that called you rm in the park yesterday was a racist not real or right

tae: jungkook

jk: yeah ^0^

tae: stop talking rn

jk: okay😵

hobi: cocaine is like really expensive how would tae and joon work out

tae wont be able to help feed into joons addiction

y/n: why do you know that cocaine is expensive

hobi: i know a lot of things that just happenes to be one of them

jimin: if you think about it when have you ever seen a crackhead be like nah im not gonna have crack today

they make that shit happen no matter what

and i think thats what attracts tae and joon together

like joon will do anything and everything to get his fix and tae would do anything and everything to have a place to sleep so their hardworking nature is what leads them to love

yeah

jin: ok !!!!!!

jimin i think you need a hobby or something

that was…. a lot

yoongi: shut up

jin: WHAT DID I DO???? AM I WRONG OR DID YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY JIMINS MINI FANFIC LIKE?????????

yoongi: i’ll punch you

jin: and i believe that!

shutting up #now

hobi: i wish i was mark lee rn

he probably doing something really canadian as we speak

jk: like what?

hobi: idk being nice

jimin: you called me ugly five minutes ago

you could never be mark lee

hobi: that literally wasn’t me i have no idea what ur talking about sorry i’m actually mark lee rn so i fr don’t know what ur talking about dude sorry dude i have to go on stage and dance with nct 127 now and then i have vocal practice with nct dream right after so i’m sorry dude i like have zero idea what ur talking about like actually like a sticker 2 baddies beatbox

me as mark lee and scene

jk: 10/10 really believable idk mark lee but i really though you were him for a second

y/n: great performance thought mark was here fr almost kissed you passionately on the mouth

yoongi: what

hobi: thank u thank u

you can still kiss me tho haha lol as mark or not idm

y/n: ok omg come here!!!

hobi: FR?????

y/n: no !!!!!!

but i did imagine us kissing like last week for like five seconds

hobi: yesssss 🙌 😝

a win is a win

yoongi: its not a win

she threw up at the thought

y/n: no i didn’t

yoongi: yes you did

you told me

y/n: i DID’NT

stop trying to gaslight me

it wont work

tae: have you imagined me naked

jimin: liked it better when you weren’t talking

tae: i liked it when YOU weren’t talking

jimin: shut the fuck up

jin: how about you both shut the fuck up

jimin: now why are YOU talking again

yoongi beat the shit out of him

yoongi: nah dont want to

the thought of his face isn’t pissing me off anymore

jin: thank you <3

yoongi: i could punch hoseok tho

hobi: no thank you ???

y/n: yoongi has a framed picture of all of us on his bedside table that he hides whenever you all come over in case you find it

he also has each one of our debut photocards in a small little binder in his studio in a little safe

yoongi: not true bye

yoongi left “BTW☠️😂”

y/n added yoongi to “BTW☠️😂”

y/n: very true very real seen them with my very two eyes

yoongi: you wear glasses

that you don’t actually wear

so who knows what u be seeing

that is NOT true

y/n: i wear glasses to READ and you know that

so shut up

guys yoongi would punch none of you because he loves you very much ok? 😍💖💯

tae: yoongi do you kiss our picture goodnight be honest

yoongi: fuck off actually

namjoon: thats very sweet yoongi

we love you too

jin: i DON’T

i fear my life when i’m around yoongi picture by his bed or not

i’m shaking in my boots i’m scared

yoongi: pussy

jin: i’m telling you ever since he broke that poor woozi guys nose i have not looked at him the same

y/n: ok but that was a mistake right yoongi

yoongi: ?

y/n: it was

and besides has yoongi broken your nose?

jin: no but it’s coming

i know it

yoongi: true

jk: i feel safe around yoongi

yoongi: you shouldn’t

jk: because he hasn’t broken my nose

but jimin did punch me once

jimin: dont bring up my past

hobi: if we think about it jimin should be locked up

jungkook you can press charges you know?

jimin: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT ME AND WHAT I’VE DONE

like we were talking about how yoongi actually love us

lets get back to that

yoongi: jimin should be put behind bars

jimin: yoongi loves us

yoongi: jimin is a bully

jimin: YOONGI LOVES US

tae: i love you back yoongi

yoongi: kill yourself

jimin is a literal bully like actually

jimin: and ur a fake one cuz u love us

jk: jimin you are bully

yoongi: ur right jungkook

you are so right

jimin: jungkook yoongi loves you

that’s why he’s agreeing with you

jk: i love you too yoongi ^0^

yoongi: jungkook jimin is bullying you

has been since you were 16

jk: ohmygod……..

jimin: jungkook yoongi has a photocard of you that he’s probably decorated and everything just cuz he cares so deeply about you

jk: he does????????

namjoon: ok both of you stop

jimin you ARE a bully

and yoongi its ok that you actually like us you should stop pretending you don’t

jimin: I AM NO BULLY

yoongi: i like not one of u 😒

namjoon: yeah ok

jk: GUYS OHMUGOD

tae DOES LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX I REMEMBER NOW 🤯🤯😨

tae left “BTW☠️😂”

—

think of this as a flash back/ forward idk of the good happy times ok? ok thank u >_<

sorry for the shit ending i just really like the first part and wanted to post

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

249 notes · View notes

waterloggedsoliloquy · 6 months

Text

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

#cecil drawls #long post #i love you guys

378 notes · View notes

janaispunk · 1 month

Text

inspired by @the-blind-assassin-12 i joined her march fic madness 2024 challenge, with the goal to read and reblog 63 fics in 31 days.

i've read waaaayyyy more than that, but i'll keep going until march is over and add every new fic to this list later:) i'm also thinking about starting a weekly rec list of fics that i've read, i'll obviously still reblog them individually but i think it would be nice to have them in one place, since things can easily get lost on the dash.

in an attempt to keep this somewhat organized, i'll sort this list by character. i love every fic on here, but i do read some dark shit, so please pay attention to the tags/warnings and decide for yourself if something might not be for you <3

part 2! find part 1 here :)

joel miller

clot by @luxurychristmaspudding

santa/cupid joel lore by @covetyou

first frost & sunrise by @5oh5

sleepy joel drabble by @ghotifishreads

hands on your knees by @northernbluess

dr. miller by @endlessthxxghts

wet nights & heat lightning by @shellshocklove

kiss kiss bang bang by @aurorawritestoescape

sanity is a cozy lie by @noxturnalpascal

snowbound by @joeloverture

breath by breath by @ozarkthedog

single dad joel’s dating life by @sweetercalypso

illicit affairs by @schnarfer

7 am by @milla-frenchy

javier peña

call me javi by @wildemaven

to perish twice by @brandyllyn

ways of seeing by @always-andromeda

que manera de despertar by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

bittersweet by @wannab-urs

better man by @dancingtotuyo

dave york

kinktober 2022 day 3 by @simpingcowboy

playdate by @daddy-dins-girl

the violence of you by @whataperfectwasteoftime

“get back down here, we’re not done yet” by @jksprincess10

babysitter pwp oneshot by @auteurdelabre

knife by @wannab-urs

love at first…sight by @goodwithcheese

frankie morales

tick by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

he with the dark curls, you with the watercolor eyes by @hellishjoel

something to prove by @writefightandflightclub

what comes after by @mrsmando

oberyn martell

peaches by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

marcus pike

playdate by @daddy-dins-girl

lucien flores

gold chain drabble by @ozarkthedog

mutual by @luxurychristmaspudding

i was fixed on your hand of gold by @freelancearsonist

chained by @5oh5

this high of you & me by @kedsandtubesocks

drunk on your summer wine by @joelsgreenflannel

take me higher by @seventeenpins

untouched by @lunitawrites

on the verge of a usual mistake (+ dieter bravo) by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

jack daniels

losin’ you by @wildemaven

southern nights by @secretelephanttattoo

cave in by @javierssunglasses

ezra

in the dark by @frannyzooey

din djarin

a rule of threes by @5oh5

beneath the mask by @saradika

ted garcia

practice makes perfect by @notjustjavierpena

if you read any of these, please remember to show the writers some love! <3

#marchficmadness24 #janas recs #fic recs #joel miller #javier peña #dave york #oberyn martell #frankie morales #marcus pike #lucien flores #jack daniels #din djarin #ted garcia #ezra prospect

97 notes · View notes

burntheedges · 1 month

Text

March Fic Madness - Fic Recs 💕 pt 1

I'm following @the-blind-assassin-12 Alyssa's lead and doing March Fic Madness! Here's Alyssa's masterlist. The goal is 63 reblogs/reads in 31 days and I think I've lost track of where I'm at (I have a lot of tabs open), so I wanted to share and rec everything I've read so far in one place.

I decided to sort it by P boy but I'm counting chapters/posts as separate reads. I'm also not counting fic I've read in other fandoms this month.

I recommend every fic in this post but please heed the tags/warnings!

Current total count: 83 reads Date updated: 3/30

recs continue in part 2

...

Joel Miller

Centrifugation (ch 1-6) by @theclairvoyage, x f!reader As long as you want by @auteurdelabre, x f!reader Sequins by @trulybetty, x f!reader (reread) DECLINED (pts 1, 2, 3, 4) by @alltheirdamn, x f!reader TikTok Trend by @justagalwhowrites, x f!reader Stranger in a Bar (pt 1) by @justagalwhowrites, x f!reader Mr. Right Next Door by @jobean12-blog, x reader Buttons and Voicemail by @fuckyeahdindjarin, x f!reader Date Night by @ghotifishreads, x reader Snowbound by @joeloverture, x f!reader Wet Nights by @shellshocklove, x f!reader Take Care of You (ch 10) by @theidiotwhowritesthings, x f!reader Amateur by @ezrasbirdie, x f!reader Gimme what I want (series) by @atticrissfinch, x f!reader (reread) new perspective by @thetriumphantpanda, x f!reader The girl in IT (ch 8, 9) by @chiriwritesstuff, x f!reader Third Date by miera (ao3), x f!reader Sugar, Spice & Please Fuck Me Nice (ch 1-3) by @syd-djarin, @katiexpunk, x f!reader Seasons of You (yr 1, spring) by @kedsandtubesocks, x f!reader Asking for Trouble by @jobean12-blog, x f!reader

Javier Peña

Scathed (ch 7, 8) by @dancingtotuyo, x OFC Call me Javi by @wildemaven, x reader Reconnaissance by @ghostofaboy, x OMCs Sweet Summer by @bluestar22x, x f!reader

Frankie Morales

sweet treat by @mrsmando, x f!plus-size!reader Do Me Yourself (ch 4, 5, 6, 7) by @undercoverpena, x f!reader Adrift With You (ch 9, 10, 11) by @morallyinept, x OFC Bonfire Night drabble by @softanon, x reader the book of love by @undercoverpena, x f!reader (reread) The Sweepstakes: Frankie Epilogue by @katareyoudrilling, x f!reader Nice and Easy by miera (ao3), x f!reader You're My World by girlwithaplan (ao3), x f!reader Right on Cue by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin, x f!reader what comes after by @mrsmando, x f!reader

Marcus Pike

Confetti by @secretelephanttattoo, x f!reader Hummingbird Has Landed by @wardenparker, @absurdthirst, x f!reader

Dave York

The Sweepstakes: Dave York & Epilogue by @katareyoudrilling, x f!reader (reread) Love at First... Sight by @goodwithcheese, x f!reader I can see the end as it begins (pt 2) by @janaispunk, @joelscurls, x f!reader no one has to know what we do (pt 2) by @janaispunk, @joelscurls Out of Sight by @goodwithcheese, x f!reader

Dieter Bravo

stay gold, baby boy by @chronically-ghosted, x f!reader (reread) Go Play Your Video Games by @kedsandtubesocks, x f!reader dieter x poppy one shot by @wildemaven, x OFC Cruel Summer by @fhatbhabie, x plus-size!reader

Din Djarin

Dark by @frannyzooey, x f!reader Be-All and Endor by @djarins-cyare, x f!reader (reread) Enchanted to Meet You by @beskarandblasters, x f!reader

Marcus Moreno

Second Chances series by @bluestar22x, x OFC

Jack Daniels

Vulture Culture (ch 1) by @beelzebeth87, x OFC

#marchficmadness24 #fic rec #joel miller x reader #javier peña x reader #frankie morales x reader #marcus pike x reader #dave york x reader #dieter bravo x reader #din djarin x reader #x reader #ppcu

134 notes · View notes

nevertheless-moving · 2 months

Text

I'm not quite there yet but I KNOW that after wind and truth featuring Szeth and Kaladin's Unwell Adventure, I WILL be adding Kalaszeth to my all encompassing mental cabinet of beloved possible Kaladin ships.

---

Which introduces a new funniest time travel companion for a new funniest post book 5 time travel scenario.

Stormlight au 31:

Szeth, having jump scared the bridge crew by appearing lightly glowing in the dark while they were having stew, been hastily ushered by the captain into the bridge four barrack, only to sit on the floor and stare dead eyed at nothing: Kaladin, standing between the crew and the man on the floor:

---

Lopen looked around. As usual, he could tell that the men were silently crying out for him, the Lopen, to take charge and speak.

"So!" he said cheerfully. "Gotta say gancho, very excited to meet an old friend of yours! Nice to take some mystery out of that mysterious past of yours, eh?"

Kaladin shifted from foot to foot, face twisting a bit. He had been acting strange since that terrifying glowy high storm vision of his a few days back. Even more broody than usual, which was storming saying something.

"It must be difficult," Rock said slowly. "Being Shin man with great powers and shardblade."

A shardblade which he had summoned unceremoniously, causing all of bridge four to scramble for weapons, only for the crazy man to hand it to Kaladin with a mumble, then sit on the floor.

Kaladin had sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before placing it, very, very carefully, under his bed.

A storming shardblade. Under the Captain's bed.

"A Shin with a shardblade who wears white," Moash added sarcastically, eyes flickering to the Captain's bed even more than usual.

(White may have been a stretch, what with all the mud and possibly dried blood. Still. Lopen could perhaps see Moash's point.)

"Yes," Rock said. "Why, were I more suspicious man, I would say Captain, this man on the floor, he can not be Assassin in White? Surely most wanted, most dangerous man in all Roshar is not here, in the place we sleep, asking for aid. Surely it would have been mentioned if this man who caused the war we even now are a part of, was old friend of yours?"

"I..." Kaladin trailed off. "I promised to try and protect..."

The whole bridge crew groaned, Skar even throwing his spear at the ground. Bad form, that.

"Storm's sake lad!" Teft growled, arms in the air. "You can't befriend and save every wanted criminal you meet!"

"If it is of help -"

The men started at the unnerving dead voice coming from the so far quiet assassin.

"We are not truly friends. Merely -"

He said a word, presumably in his language, then frowned, the first recognizably human emotion that had crossed his face.

"I do not know this word in Alethi. In Azish it is I think -"

He said something that made Sigzil choke on air, jaw dropping. "Uh," the Worldsinger stammered out. "I. Ah. I think. That might be the wrong term."

The Captain seemed to pale slightly. "Szeth, we can talk about that later," he said quickly. "We should probably figure out a plan for you to surrender to Dalinar - or Elokhar - without you getting immediately executed - Yes, Dalinar is probably-"

"Perhaps," Sigzil interrupted, voice higher than usual. "You could define the meaning of the word you used before."

"Sigzil!" The captain hissed.

"Captain?" Sigzil challenged, voice still slightly too high.

"I was emotionally and mentally unwell," the assassin in white said in his monotone. He paused. "Even more so than currently."

A few of the men took a step back.

"Stormblessed..." he looked up at Kaladin, and his voice seemed to soften, just the slightest bit. "He felt pity for me. Then he helped me feel. Helped me think that perhaps, someday I would feel the desire for life. He did this despite no great love for my being."

Many of the men nodded at that. Sigzil's shoulders slumped in relief.

"He accomplished this primarily by fucking me in a cave."

The nods froze. Sigzil closed his eyes.

The Captain slapped a hand to his face.

"The translation for this from my language would be 'pity fuck', but there is more cultural nuance..." The Assassin shrugged. "In any case it is not a bond such as that of friendship. My soul is still far too damaged for that."

"Szeth..." The Captain said, looking down at him with obvious concern. He glanced at the room, blanched at the men's expressions, then slowly pressed his head back into his hand.

Moash made an indecipherable noise and stomped towards the door, before making another noise and stomping back.

The Captain kept his palm pressed to his face.

A sudden wave of epiphany hit Lopen. "Hold on. Now hold on just a storming minute!"

The room turned slowly from staring at their Stormblessed leader to staring at Lopen.

He pointed accusingly at the Captain. When the man failed to pull his massive hand from his beautiful face, Lopen faced the others, glaring.

"I know that I joined bridge four late! But are you telling me that before I got here, the whole famous 'pulling everyone out of bridge crew misery' was actually the captain...I mean did storming all of you..."

He made a deliberate gesture, pointer finger moving extra emphatically to make up for the missing hand with which to form a hole, meeting each man's eyes with a challenge.

Drehy let out a wheeze. He and Skar looked at each other before dissolving into quiet, helpless laughter. Drehy sank to his hands and knees, wheezing more, and Skar bent over, tears streaming down his face as he gasped around his laughing.

"That ain't an answer!" he said indignantly.

He looked at Teft, but the older man had put both hands over his face. His shoulders seem to shake occasionally. Lopen's eyes narrowed as he turned to Rock.

The horneater had a hand over his mouth, but he brought it down, coughing once as he stroked his beard.

"What," Rock said mildly. "You thought it my stew that bring back men's will to live? You honor me, the Lopen."

Lopen gaped at that, and he wasn't the only one. The handful of other 'late' additions, men who had been rescued on the field from other crews, started in shock.

The rest of the crew completely lost it at that point.

Skar and Drehy collapsed further, banging their fists on the floor. Bissig started laughing as well, falling onto Natam, who had made a strange grunting whine at Lopen's question, a whine which grew louder at Rock's reply.

Moash's lips turned up reluctantly before a snort escaped against his will. He fell back against a wall, knees seeming to grow weak. Another snort. "Imagine!" he gasped out. "If he just started punching people in the stomach, ran around like a madman, and expected people to follow him!"

Leyten went from chuckling to a booming laugh at that, clutching at Pete and Yake to stay upright. He looked at Lopen, who made another questioning gesture. That was enough to send all three toppling over, Leyten loud enough to be heard the next barrack over.

Renarin squeaked from the corner as Natam hit the wall beside him in mirth, howling. Talek's breath, he had forgotten the lad was there, light eyes wide in shock.

Shen was next to him. Was it Lopen's imagination, or did even his eyes seemed to be sparkling with mirth? No storming way...not the parshman...the Captain wouldn't...

"Crazy!" Torfin agreed, cackling. "What kind of idiots would start pooling all their pay to buy storming bandages for doomed men, start laughing during chasm duty, swear to stand by their storming bridge, if they didn't have at least one, um - uh -"

"Stormblessing!" Leyten offered with a gasp from the ground.

Torfin pointed at him, "Stormblessing!" he repeated with a yell. "To remind them that life was worth living!"

Lopen narrowed his eyes, finally coming to a conclusion. "You fellows are taking the piss out on me," he accused.

"You know Captain," Drehy said, whole body heaving, tears still streaming down his face as he lay helplessly on the floor. "I still get nightmares."

This inspired a new wave of laughter mixed with jeers about their own issues, and suggestions for how the captain could help. Lopen shook his head, grinning widely at the room full of uproarious men. Some of his best work. And mostly achieved on accident, which was the best kind of accomplishment!

The Captain finally pulled his hand from his face. There was color high in his cheeks, and he was frowning, but the corners of his eyes were creased with suppressed laughter.

"Sorry Drehy, one time offer," he said dryly, to hoots.

And Lopen," he said, faux apologetic. "I am sorry for the oversight. I... didn't realize you were interested."

The crew edged well into hysteria, most men only able to breathe in strangled gasps and wheeze out an occasional ''Stormblessing!'

Bridge four's captain was good at playing straight man, when the mood struck him.

The Lopen huffed, but decided magnanimously to move past the slight to his honor. Even if it turned out they weren't joking.

"It's still nice to be included," he sniffed. "Ain't that right, Renarin."

The Brightlord seemed to shrink as attention was drawn towards him, face a brilliant red as he pressed into the corner. Some of the laughter trailed off as the crew remembered he was there. More of it got louder, even less uncontrolled.

The Captain's eyes widened and the flush on his cheeks spread to his ears.

"Renarin! Oh - Jezrianssake, the men are full of chullshit, alright? I didn't - that wasn't -"

The Captain gestured helplessly. "The thing with Szeth was - we were - the world was going to -"

He threw up his arms as Renarin's eyes just got wider.

"It was the stew!" He said desperately, turning to look at Eth, who looked bemused back at him. "It really was the stew!" He pleaded.

"I know Captain," Eth said soothingly. "I know I came in a bit later, but I know. That's not exactly something these idiots would be able to keep secret."

"Things might have gone faster, though..." Skar said leadingly, which set off another round of helpless groans and gasps for air.

The Captain rolled his eyes, scoffing, still the perfect comedic straight man.

...He did get the whole joke though, right? The bit of truth in the jeers? The Lopen was not generally interested in the more manly sex but Storms. It was sometimes hard to tell if the Captain realized just how pretty he was, just how much people reacted to his general...Stormblessedness. Not to mention the glowing! Everyone loves a man who can glow and run up walls.

Hm. Maybe that helped explain the Captain and the Assassin.

Moash stumbled, still snorting, over to the Man in White - to Szeth - looking down at him, appraising.

Kaladin grew tense.

Gancho had been especially strange around Moash for the last few days.

"Assassin," he said thoughtfully. "Are you sure it was just pity?"

The wide eyed man, who had remained utterly impassive as the room fell apart around him, cocked his head as Moash leaned down.

"There's a certain kind of person who finds killing light eyes, especially powerful lighteyes, a rather..."

Kaladin cleared his throat, interrupting. "We're not killing the king."

Moash turned sharply, glaring at Kaladin.

"I do not wish to kill anymore," Szeth whispered. He paused, then spoke again.

"I will kill if the Blackthorn orders, or if you ask, Kaladin Stormblessed, son son Tanavast."

Kaladin winced. "Maybe let's not mention...that whole last part when we go to the King. We...we should definitely practice exactly how we're going to explain all this."

He starting towing the still blank faced - no there was a bit of confusion there, if you were looking - infamous Assassin to his office, the men letting out the best jeers they could (considering their incoherent state) as they went.

"You should for sure mention the 'pity fuck' thing though," Lopen called helpfully. "The King will definitely be interested in that."

#Stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #My au #stormlight fanfic #Stormlight au no 31 #Szeth/Kaladin #Words of Radiance au #lopen and szeth: untapped comedy tagteam??#lopen szeth and kaladin: three people who will just fucking say things???#i made myself laugh and as always that's whats important #New most entertaining kaladin sexuality: sex positive ace whose thing specifically is #he WILL happily have sex but ONLY if it will be emotionally healing for the other party #bridge four: that's just pity fu-#kaladin: IT'S PART OF A JOURNEY TOWARDS MENTAL RECOVERY I DON'T KNOW OKAY I'M STILL INVENTING THERAPY #wind and truth speculation #rhythm of war spoilers #crack #you know those two glowing men are going to have some feelings at the very least while adjacent to each other.#overnight in a cave is optional i can supply that myself if need be #cosmere #nevertheless cosmere

125 notes · View notes

browneyesandhair · 11 days

Text

Non-Exhaustive List of Soulmate Fics: Polin

Okay, I'm bored so I'm compiling my favorite soulmate fics. Here's the Polin edition:

These Days Will Fade Out by noveltyromance

Summary:

Penelope walked in and inspected the silvery words embedded on her skin. She really did meet her soulmate. It wouldn’t have turned colors if he was not hers. “So he said your words,” she mumbled softly to herself in the mirror, “but you didn’t say his.” It only meant one thing. Colin was her soulmate. But she wasn’t his.

tend my garden by runimpossiblegirl

Summary:

The forget-me-not on Penelope´s upper left arm had appeared when she was just sixteen. [Orinally posted with 5700 words on 31/12. Now updated to final version with 6900 and extra Colin POV on 01/01]

i'll use you as a warning sign by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

The words on his body sound like Lady Whistledown. His soulmate - the person meant to capture his body and heart, his partner and love of his life - ruins lives. Perhaps it makes sense that she’s already ruined his. - Or, soulmate AU where the words you write show up on your soulmate's skin.

i might lose everything if i lose the pain by frankchurchillsaysrelax

Summary:

Based on the prompt: On your 18th birthday you get a soul mark - one that would be identical to your soulmates. Colin is devastated that his does not match Marina’s. Trying to lighten up his mood days later - his brothers teasingly console him by saying that Penelope could get his mark when she turns 18 and that’s when she overhears him say that he would never marry her because he didn't think she's his soulmate. And as is Penelope's life a couple years later she gets an identical mark. Now she plans to hide it because she can’t handle his disappointment.

Give Me All The Pain (Give Me Everything) by wasteddarlinglover

Summary:

Penelope Featherington's soulmate hated her. She was alright with that. She hated him just as much. The only reason for their bond to exist was to bring each other pain. Colin Bridgerton's soulmate gave up on him years ago. He was not worthy of love and patience that their bond required. He learned to accept that and move on with his life. When two broken souls are brought together, Penelope and Colin find hope. Neither one of them can be with their soulmate, but maybe they can build something remarkable together. If they manage to let go of the pain, maybe they could even let themselves fall in love.

All the Time in the World by dontmakemeover

Summary:

All ladies of the Ton are instructed by their Queen to implant a TiMER on their wrists when they enter society at age 16. It is the truest and best way to find a Soulmate, with the TiMER counting down until the first time they will meet. Countless marriages have started this way (with at least a few of them ending the same way!) But Penelope Featherington does not highly rate this technology, for when her TiMER was implanted, the screen was blank. And what's more, she has seen the timer of the man she would like to be her true love, Colin Bridgerton, and knows that whoever her soulmate truly is, his is not her.

Latibule by The_Readers_Muse

Summary:

It was said you would be drawn to your one. That was the only advantage you had.

For the Both of Us by logogram

Summary:

A conversation with Fife and Cho leaves Colin wondering whether Penelope is his soulmate. Unfortunately, she seems to have become stubbornly attached to her gloves.

And So the Yandere Met the Bonnet Assassin by Seaowl

Summary:

There was a reason Violet was so hell bent to see all eight of her children married. The most valuable things to them are their soulmates and the family is told all their life that you are to do anything to protect and keep your soulmate. Lie, cheat, kill, frame, anything is on the table. The family that is so big on love that they become quite possessive of those who marry in, even if it is the soulmate of one of their siblings.

i'm the lock and you're the key by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

Penelope is ready to move on. Pining after Colin Bridgerton requires too much energy, too much of her soul. Penelope wants to find her soulmate, but maybe that may not be Colin after all. But… perhaps one last effort is necessary to completely eliminate Colin from her heart and mind. - Or, the “you must sleep with someone to determine if they’re your soulmate” AU.

Would I Lie To You? by LightLeadingMe

Summary:

It has been said and even written that true soulmates cannot lie to one another. They simply were unable to. Not even a small fib could be said to the person. Penelope began to resign herself to the fact that she'd never meet her soulmate, but then she ran (quite literally) into Colin Bridgerton.

Soulmarks by Seaowl

Summary:

Colin has found his soulmate, now he just has to find out who she is.

just let me adore you by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

Colin Bridgerton falls off his horse at age twenty-one and laughs. It’s a full-body laugh, bright and bold and gut-wrenching, as if his soul is finally free. Then he feels a burn across his left bicep, just beside his shoulder and when he inspects his skin, the outline of a detailed feather stares back at him. - Or, now that Colin knows Penelope is his soulmate, he vows to make her laugh in his presence so she can be his too. Or, the role reversal soulmate AU.

#rec list #soulmate aus #fandom soulmates #recs #fanfic #bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #penelope/colin #penelope x colin

72 notes · View notes

ancientcharm · 6 months

Text

Claudius: The fool of the dynasty.

Claudius was born in Lugdunum, Gaul on August 1, 10 BC. On his mother's side, he was the grandson of the legendary Mark Antony and great-nephew of emperor Augustus. His father was the son of the Empress Livia and brother of the later Emperor Tiberius. He had blood ties with Julius Caesar.

According to historical sources: His sister, Livilla, after hearing an Augur say that her younger brother would be emperor, exclaimed: "May the gods save Rome from such misfortune. That would be the end of the empire." His grandmother, Livia, avoided talking to him because "when he was a child, the empress felt uncomfortable seeing and hearing him." During his childhood, the family avoided taking him to public events so as not to be seen. All this drama just because Claudius was lame, stuttered and had a tic.

During the reigns of Augustus and Tiberius, that is, for almost his entire life, he was prohibited from holding public office because of his "defects." From a very young age it was determined that he could never be heir to the throne. This was determined by his family but not by his destiny.

Three wives, three troubles.

Year 9: The Empress Livia convinced a senator who was a close friend of her family, to marry her daughter, Plautia Urgulanilla, to her 18-year-old grandson. They had a son, Claudius Drusus, who died at 14-15 years old when he threw a piece of pear into the air to catch it in his mouth and the piece got stuck in his throat. Years before the son's death, a girl was born. But months later, Claudius noticed that the baby looked more like one of his freedmen than him. Claudius publicly declared that the girl was not his daughter. This scandal occurred at the same time that her brother-in-law, Plautia's brother, murdered her wife by throwing her out of a window. After this, Claudius immediately divorced.

Year 28: The prefect of the Praetorian Guard, Sejanus, was plotting to occupy the throne. Knowing that no one would accept an emperor who was not related to the dynasty, he married his sister, Elia Paetina, to Claudius. They had a daughter named Antonia. In the year 31 the plots and murders of Sejanus were discovered; Emperor Tiberius sentenced him to death. Claudius was forced to divorce the relative of the traitor but he never abandoned his daughter Antonia.

Year 38: During the reign of his nephew Caligula, Claudius married a woman member of the dynasty. The young and beautiful Valeria Messalina was the granddaughter of Antonia the Elder, Claudius's aunt. Antonia the Elder was the first daughter that Mark Antony had with Augustus's sister. Ten years later, this third marriage will end in worse circumstances than the first two.

Interestingly, the “mad" emperor Caligula was the first to recognize that Claudius had the skills to hold an important position. Claudius at 46 years old had the well-deserved important office thanks to his nephew. He was appointed consul.

The less thought day

On January 24, 41, the emperor was assassinated by the Praetorian Guard in collusion with several senators. Minutes later, the emperor's wife and daughter were also murdered.

And what no one would have thought possible happened: At the age of 50 Claudius became Caesar. The fourth emperor of Rome.

According to the historians Flavius Josephus and Cassius Dion, Claudius, terrified, thinking that the senators' plan was to exterminate all the members of the imperial family to restore the republic, hid behind a curtain. A Praetorian soldier found him and immediately proclaimed him emperor because he was the only male in the dynasty who could rule, the other remaining member being his 3-year-old grandnephew Lucio Domitius, whom 9 years later Claudio himself would give the famous name Nero.

Claudius the Conquer

Claudius surprised Rome by proving to be not only an intelligent emperor but also a conqueror who would make the empire greater. In 43, Claudius begins the campaign to conquer Britannia. Circa 50 the Romans founded the city Londinium /London.

Although this was his most famous conquest and territorial expansion, it was not the only one. Noricum: Present-day central Austria (west of Vienna), part of Bavaria (Germany), northeastern Slovenia, and part of the Italian Alps. Thrace (Bulgaria), and he made the Danube River a new border of the Roman Empire.

Claudius the Emperor

He distinguished himself for his policy of Meritocracy. He rewarded for ability , not for personal sympathies. He allowed men from of non-aristocratic origin access to the Senate. Claudius gained the respect of the Senate, the army and the people at the same time, something that had not been seen in Rome since the time of Augustus.

He had two children with his third wife: Octavia, born late year 39, and Tiberius Claudius, later nicknamed Britanicus due the conquest of Britannia, born 19 days after Claudius' accession to the throne.

He wrote many works, most during the reign of Tiberius. In addition to a history of the reign of Augustus and some treatises on the game of dice, his great passion, among his main works are a History of Etruscan civilization in twenty books, a History of Carthage in eight volumes, and a dictionary of the Etruscan language.

Pliny the Elder refers to Claudius as "One of the best writers". Evidently, Claudius learned a lot from his teacher, the most prestigious Roman historian, Titus Livius (Livy), author of the extraordinary work Ab Urbe Condita.

In the year 47 Claudius celebrated the Ludi Saeculares of the eighth centenary of the founding of Rome.

The tragic end of the empress.

Empress Valeria Messalina becomes the lover of Senator Gaius Silius. Taking advantage of her lineage as a woman of the Julius Claudia dynasty, she convinced that man that together they could take the throne from Claudius. In 48, while Claudius was in Ostia, Messalina divorced him and married Silius. Three freedmen arrived in Ostia to give the incredible news to the emperor.

According to Tacitus: <<Claudius, having returned to the palace, ordered that Messalina be brought to him, but the freedman Narcissus, fearing that the emperor would forgive her, ordered a freedman, a centurion, and some tribunes to proceed with the execution. The woman was overtaken in the gardens and executed; informed of his wife's death while he was at the table, Claudio would not have asked any more questions. >>

The senator and his group of accomplices and supporters were also executed.

Seven years earlier: Claudius ordered the return of his nieces, daughters of his deceased brother Germanicus:, Livilla and Agrippina the Younger, both exiled by Caligula in 39. Livilla was highly favored by Claudius, and Agrippina the Younger was ver loved by the people. This situation caused Messalina worry and jealousy.

Messalina, through intrigue, in a very short time managed to send Livilla back into exile, along with the philosopher Seneca -a close friend and ally of Agrippina the Younger- accusing them of being lovers and conspiring. Livilla died in exile months later.

But Mesalina could not make Agrippina the Younger disappear, who was extremely cunning and more dangerous than Livilla because she had a son, that is, a candidate for the throne who, to make matters worse, was older than Messalina's son. In all likelihood, this could be the reason Messalina attempted to overthrow Claudius.

The fourth wife, and the death.

If Senator Gaius Silius was able to use Messalina's lineage to try to overthrow Claudius by marrying her, what could another do who marries the widow Agrippina, a direct descendant of Divine Augustus? This was the reason for Claudio's incredible decision to marry his niece: simply so that no other man could marry her. Agrippina immediately accepted the proposal to become empress of Rome.

The marriage between an uncle and his niece was considered incest and a crime in Rome. However, this was not an incestuous relationship but a political union. Even so, dispensations had to be presented to the Senate and religious authorities, and there were endless ceremonies.

Finally, in the year 49, in an unprecedented event in Roman history, the Emperor married his own niece. Immediately she gets Claudius to bring her close friend Seneca from exile. Agrippina appoints Seneca as her son's tutor and teacher. Claudius granted Agrippina the title of Augusta. Curiously, he did not grant that title to empress Messalina when they both ascended the throne, but to his deceased mother Antonia the Younger.

In 50 Claudius adopted his great-nephew Lucius as son and changed his name to Nero Claudius. Agrippina's son become the main heir to the throne, instead Emperor's own son. No historian can understand why Claudius made that strange decision; Definitely it was not due to the age of the heirs, since Britannicus had 9 years old and Nero 12 so he was not much mature than Britannicus.

Later, Agrippina convinces Claudius to marry his daughter Octavia to Nero. At that time Nero and Octavia are around 14 and 12 years old respectively.

In 54, October 13, at age 64, the emperor died suddenly during a banquet, after having eaten mushrooms, according to Juvenal's version.

There are several versions about his death, however they all agree on the theory that the emperor was poisoned. Personally, I want to believe that his death was due to natural causes.

Below, a text that is not mine but from a very important site with an extensive article on the death of Emperor Claudius. I copy and paste the final part that I was happy to read.

However, as Levick points out, those present at the banquet do not seem to have suspected poisoning of any sort; moreover, the eunuch Halotus, whose job was to taste the Emperor's food, kept his job when Nero assumed the throne—evidence that nobody wanted to put him out of the way, either as an accomplice or as a witness to assassination. We see no reason to believe that Claudius was murdered. All the features are consistent with sudden death from cerebrovascular disease, which was common in Roman times. Towards the end of 52 AD, at the age of 62, Claudius had a serious illness and spoke of approaching death. Around that time there were changes in his depiction in busts, cameos and coins—with thick neck, narrow shoulders and flat chest. The Apocolocyntosis, addressed to an audience some of whom were present at the death, makes clear that there is no need to postulate poisoning, accidental or otherwise.

The Divine Claudius

Sculpture of Claudius deified (1st Century) Vatican Museums.

After his death, like Augustus, he was deified.

The boy who was said to never achieve anything not only became an one of the best writers of Rome, emperor and conqueror but also a god.

#history #ancient rome #roman empire #roman emperors

164 notes · View notes

polkadotpenguin16 · 2 months

Text

#MarchFicMadness24 Rec List

Here's my contribution to @the-blind-assassin-12's March Madness Reblog Challenge: reblog 63 fics in 31 days!

Below are stories/drabbles/whatever that I enjoyed reading and give the Penguin Stamp of Approval 🐧™ (very exclusive)

Expect a lot of Carisi/Barba love 😍

Part 1 | Part 2

🥰=Fluffy 😔=Angsty 🥵=Saucy 📋=Masterlist

1. Carisi and reader's first kiss by @kryptonitejelly 🥰 Sonny Carisi x reader This is just an adorable little snippet that made my heart flutter

2. Mistakes We Knew We Were Making, Chapter 1 by @lovecarisi 🥵 Sonny Carisi x reader Hot damn - that's it, that's all my thoughts lol

3. Slow, soft love making with Barba by @adacarisi 🥵 Rafael Barba x reader This was my gateway fic into the Tumblr-SVU-Fic-Verse (came here from a random pin on Pinterest). And it is still one I enjoy going back to because it is so delightful. Anyone who enjoys smutty SVU fics should check their stuff out!

4. Sweet Tangerine by @whoevrwhatevr 🥰😔 Sonny Carisi x Rafael Barba My guilty pleasure is sick/comfort fics, and this one checks all the boxes for me. Pathetic, ill Sonny has a special place in my heart lol

5. Second Chances, Part One by @tropes-and-tales 😔🥰🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader I read this on the recommendation of @misscharlielulu, and it did NOT disappoint! It literally has everything - broken hearts, adorable dates, a sensual satisfying climax. It goes from angsty, to fluffy, to saucy, and it is near close to perfect.

6. Overtime by @storiesofsvu 😔🥰 Rafael Barba x Reader Honestly, read any of her stuff, you're guaranteed to enjoy it. I like this one in particular because it is such a well composed story. And she nailed Raf being a lovable dick 😂

7. Tears For A Good Man by @escapingrealtiylovinginsanity 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader I always get excited when a new Sonny fic comes across my dash, and this one is just GAHHH **insert incoherent happy noises** Probably the sweetest version of Sonny you will ever come across **swoon**

8. 19 (aka losing your virginity to Sonny) part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 by @carisi-dreams 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader If I was on a deserted island and was only allowed to bring one fic to read, THIS WOULD BE IT!!!! I love how relatable the reader is, I love how attentive Sonny is, and it's just GOD DAMN HOT 🔥

9. Relaxation Therapy by @mrsrafaelbarba 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader Who doesn't want a sexy Cuban lawyer to take care of them after a long day 😏 #life is hard and barba is hot

10. You're My Dream Girl by @pascalispretty 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Apparently @misscharlielulu and I are on the same wavelength because we were both thinking about this one today lol. This one is hot, heavy, desperate and it's AMAZING

11. Line Without a Hook by @writingdayandnight 🥰 Rafael Barba x Reader This reads like a delightful romance movie, and is a beautiful alternative for Undiscovered Country-deniers (seriously, what were they thinking?!)

12. Carisi realizing he’s in love by @kryptonitejelly 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Another adorable snippet courtesy of @kryptonitejelly - keep em coming!

13. “i’m yours, in every way possible.” by @qvid-pro-qvo 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Y'all wanna cry happy tears? Cuz this made me cry happy tears! I found this gem last week, and have become completely obsessed.

14. HCs: Being in a Relationship with Sonny Carisi by @locke-writes 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader This is wonderfully written, in-depth, and simply put, it's heartwarming 💓

15. Rafael Barba Masterlist by @melk917 📋 Rafael Barba x Reader If you're a Barba fan, this is the Tumblr to go to! Seriously, just pick any of them. You'll find a little bit of everything, and you'll enjoy yourself.

16. A Fight With Sonny by @storytimefromthecreed 😔🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader The dialogue in this is so perfectly written. Honestly, it's #truelovegoals

17. Rain, Candlelight & Pumpkin Spice by @beccabarba 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader This one is so soft and sensual and makes me miss fall. Standout quote - "I love that you think you’re the lucky one" - I'm literally melting 🫠

18. Taken Care Of by @plaidbooks 😔🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader There are LOTS of stories out there about Sonny taking care of the reader. Not nearly as many about Sonny being cared for, and by god does that man deserve it! This is a fav of mine, Julie's so talented, and I've got 45 more fics to go so I'm sure I'll be adding more of her stuff to this list.

19. Perfect / Love Won’t Die by @cathrrrine 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader When this fic dropped, I got absolutely nothing done that day because it was the only thing I could think about. It gives you all the nice mushy feelings a good fluff piece should!

20. Movie Night by @adarafaelbarba 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader This is one of the first Rafa fics I ever read. Then I freaking lost it and thought I was imagining the whole thing. And when I finally found it again, it was even better than I remembered lol

21. Mistakes We Knew We Were Making, Chapter 2 by @lovecarisi 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Chapter 2's out y'all!

22. Public Transportation by @amaroforpresident 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader An utterly adorable meet cute 😍

23. Caught in the Act by @svuwritings 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Just absolutely filthy smut; might need a cold shower after this one.

24. 4th of July by @australiancarisi 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader I love reading fics with a focus on Sonny's family. We got such a small sliver of that part of him on the show. This fic just makes me smile ☺️

25. Decisions by @detectivesvu 😔 Rafael Barba x Reader This is a heavy read, but it's oh so good. Sidenote, this reader is a saint - I wish I could practice this level of patience lol

26. Paradise Lost & Paradise Found by @cycat4077/@cycat-carisi 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader So Tumblr will not let me reblog these for some reason, but I just had to share because I love them so much. This story breaks my damn heart and then glues it back together and I am HERE for it! All of their stuff is a joy to read 💙

27. I Want You to Touch Me by @writefasttalkevenfaster 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader Sexy bearded Barba, anyone? “I told you it wouldn’t be a bed,” - GAHH I'm blushing 😳

28. Gallery by @svu-ncis-criminalminds 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader Is "deliciously angsty" a thing? I have issues dealing with conflict in my personal life, so reading about people fighting and making up is kind of cathartic for me. It does wrap with a sweet ending.

29. Getting Flowers from Sonny by @duchesschameleon 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader I've only received flowers once from someone (who wasn't family) and I remember just how goddamn special that made me feel and this perfectly captures all those warm fuzzy feels 😊

30. "Hey, just look at me. Breathe." by @amirightcounsellor 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader Oh, to be held by Sonny after a nightmare...

31. Sonny in an accident part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 by @carisi-dreams 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader Scrolling through Violet's blog is like the best box of chocolates you've ever received - always something new and exciting to find. I cannot believe I only just read this today. I think it is a contender for my most favorite fic of all-time. Violet, I bow to your greatness 🙌

32. Unsure by @svucarisiaddict 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader I love this story so much. It really resonates with me deeply. And Sonny is such a dear in this :)

33. The Tum by @plaidbooks 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader I love me a fluffy man, and Raf deserves all the adoring attention in the world <3

34. A Misunderstanding by @minidodds 😔 Rafael Barba x Reader This is a cute shorty about a silly miscommunication.

35. Toy Box by @detective-giggles 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Did someone turn up the heat, cuz it's getting a little steamy in here. This is filthy...please enjoy 😏

36. All Wrapped Up by @melk917 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader I know the holiday season has passed, but this is a good read all year round.

37. Come Home part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 by @enamoured-x 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader In case you needed your heart torn up this evening! This whole series is amazing, I love it so much. Why do I we love to see Carisi suffer so much?!

38. Do Not Disturb by @foryouthem00n 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader I do enjoy me some Cranky Carisi lol. Can hardly believe Sonny would turn down cuddles 🥺

39. how the svu characters would react to you pranking them by texting “i miss being single” by @cathrrrine 🥰 The whole SVU gang These are all just a laugh and a half 😆 and so accurate! "Not now. I'm not done sulking yet." OMG seriously Rafa?!!

40. fluff #1 by @writingsforfandoms-multi 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Ya know, I'm just a sucker for some domestic bliss. This one is so precious!

41. Your first five dates with Sonny… by @reddielov-e 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader This is such a fun read! Very well thought out, lots of details. "you’re an outstanding woman and you never fail to make me laugh" - ya killing me!

42. Jealousy by @minidodds 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader This is an oldy but a goody. I go back to this one whenever I'm in the mood for some angst.

43. Trust Me by @ambivertdreamer 😔 Rafael Barba x Reader I really like Rafa stories that follow the plot from Intersecting lives (wtf were you thinking giving out your address Barba?!) and seeing the fall out and consequences that the show didn't really give us. This is a great story that ties up really nicely.

44. Coming Home by @seekret-fanfic 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Warning! Your heart may not be prepared for this amount of fluff!! I fucking LOVE this story - it pulls at the heartstrings in such a delightful way. Warms my cold dead heart 🖤

45. On Takeout and Yoga by @inflagranteinnuendo 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Not your conventional smut piece. This is so well written. I love the flow of the whole story. I love the build up to ending. I love just how goddamn sweet and endlessly understanding Sonny is!!

46. SVU guys picking out engagement rings by @adacarisi 🥰 Sonny Carisi, Rafael Barba, Mike Dodds I've been a wedding-y mood recently, and this just tickles my fancy.

#marchficmadness24 #63 stories in 31 days #fic rec #sonny carisi x reader #rafael barba x reader

70 notes · View notes

thepringlesofblood · 1 year

Text

Relevant Dates for The Ravening War

in the trailer, it says “Two decades before the events of A Crown of Candy” and shows a banner counting back from 1210. This is because the war was from 1190-1195, though the conflict that led to it started in 1188

ACOC takes place in 1215, beginning on the 20th of Highbright, the Rocks twins’ 18th “Saint’s Day” (birthday).

I saw a post about a potential discrepancy here bc of the whole “2 decades” bit

I think they did this bc it sounds more impressive to say “two decades before” than “25 years before”

we can extrapolate the twins to have been born in 1197, one year into Amethar and Caramelinda’s marriage. (17th of Harvestdusk, 1196)

the war ended 20 years before ACOC started (1195), but it seems like The Ravening War [campaign] will start at the beginning of the war, in 1190, if the spinning back from 1210 is to be believed.

Archmage Lazuli Rocks died in 1190, at age 32-33, sacrificing herself in battle.

she had recently married, and was deeply in love with, Duchess Caramelinda of House Meringue, a match made before the war. Caramelinda was 28 when her wife died.

the wiki might be wrong - in episode 7 of ACOC amethar remembers a conversation b/w all of his sisters, including Lazuli, where Rococa mentions “Our one ally, the Dairy Islands, half of them wanna kill us for entering the war this late”

but she does die first of the sisters.

Princess Sapphria died in 1195, at age 31-32, killed by Carnish assassins

Saint Citrina died in 1195, at age 34-35, killed by Vegetanian knights ordered by a young, not-yet-Pontifex Belizabeth Brassica.

General Rococoa died in 1195, at age 39-40, shot by Ceresians (on the orders of a certain fancy-pants cakeboy) during the final battle against Imperator Focaccia.

King Jadain [the king of Candia at the time, Amethar’s dad] died a few months post-war, but Queen Pamelia died during the war, before all of her daughters. She was from Fructera (House Pomegrana) and had very different political opinions from her daughters and Amethar.

Amethar (currently a Prince) was born in 1167, and thus is 23 at the beginning of the Ravening War.

the exact dates of the deaths of the Rocks sisters aren’t super set in stone, except for the order of the last three - it wouldn’t surprise me if one or more of them die during the campaign.

lmk if you can think of any other important dates!

#acoc #acoc spoilers #major acoc spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #trw #the ravening war #original post #ref

310 notes · View notes

kalopses-sonderes · 7 months

Text

Sonders Yan/Fluff C.ai masterlist

Sonders 2023 yantober/flufftober Cookie run C.ai bots! All C.Ai bots will be linked here, new bot everyday or other day during October! All cookies are in human au

A/n: its not tober anymore but whatever☹️

Status: 12/30 finally continuing!

Day 1: Fluff! Clover Cookie (coming home)

Day 2: yan! Pure Vanilla Cookie (secret admirer)

Day 3: fluff! Herb Cookie (Halloween decorating!)

Day 4: Yan! Lilac Cookie (assassin)

Day 5: fluff! Earl Grey Cookie (cold tea)

Day 6: yan! Earl Grey Cookie (friendly neighborhood hotel owner)

Day 7: fluff! Almond Cookie (co-workers and a tense game of chess)

Day 8: yan! Lilac and Yogurt Cream (doll)

Day 9: fluff! Raspberry Mousse Cookie (swordplay)

Day 10: yan! Pure Vanilla Cookie vs. Millennial Tree Cookie (cats and mouse)

Day 11: ???

Day 12: ???

Day 13: ???

Day 14: ???

Day 15: ???

Day 16: ???

Day 17: ???

Day 18: ???

Day 19: ???

Day 20: ???

Day 21: ???

Day 22: ???

Day 23: ???

Day 24: ???

Day 25: ???

Day 26: ???

Day 27: ???

Day 28: ???

Day 29: ???

Day 30: ???

Day 31: ???

All bots created by @kalopses-sonderes on tumblr

Link for main post

#sonders yantober #sonders flufftober #crk #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #self aware cookie run kingdom #crk self aware #yandere pure vanilla cookie #pure vanilla cookie run #dark cacao kingdom #yandere earl grey #earl grey cookie

103 notes · View notes

qqueenofhades · 10 months

Note

Dare you to, on the second-last day of Pride Month, write a big effortpost about all the people that Pride Month either moved to the Find Out stage or proceedings or flat-out assassinated. A necessary part of this post would be bemoaning that Pride Month missed Kissinger or some other monster. The reason would be to dare the universe to render your effortpost out of date by sniping someone just before the end of the month, after you post. Please, I beg of you, goad the universe into taking out one or two more than it intended!

Oh, I will do that right now for free!

JUNE 2023: Great month for justice, bad month for assholes!

Pat Robertson, notorious conservative Christian activist and long-time hate preacher: dies on June 8

Ted Kaczynski, aka the Unabomber, conducted a decades-long campaign of mail bombings and domestic terrorism in the name of protesting technology: dies on June 10

Silvio Berlusconi, notorious far-right ex-Italian PM and general fantastically corrupt shitheel: dies on June 12

Stockton Rush, billionaire libertarian businessman who actively ignored 1000 safety warnings about his crappy product and fired a whistleblower for saying so, notably got himself and 4 other people killed on June 18 and joins the hallowed Wikipedia list of inventors killed by their own invention

Honorable-not-quite-June-but-close mention: James G. Watt, Ronald Reagan's secretary of the interior and a rabid anti-environmentalist, died on May 27

John Eastman: conservative lawyer who actively advised and encouraged Trump to stage a coup: facing disbarment hearings in California

Oh yeah, that guy Trump: on June 8, was charged with 31 federal criminal counts under the Espionage Act, relating to his crimes with classified documents; 37 charges overall, which takes his felony haul to 71 (and counting);

Vladimir Putin: is not gonna have a fun time over the next few days over the fallout from the Wagner mercenary rebellion;

Andrew Tate, flagrant misogynist asshole: officially charged with rape and human trafficking in Romania;

Ron DeSantis: lost literally THREE different lawsuits over his terrible anti-LGBTQ laws; collapsed in the polls and his campaign is allegedly "close to being over" because he's so bad at it;

State of Arkansas: likewise had its attempted ban on gender-affirming care for minors permanently struck down

Marjorie Taylor Greene: the crazy House Freedom Caucus doesn't like her anymore, apparently, and wants to "purge" its members, including her (lolololol)

Man, that's all well and good, but it's really a shame that Pride Month 2023: This Time It's Personal didn't put a cherry on top by offing Henry Kissinger, or like, Clarence Thomas or Samuel Alito (or both, both, both is good)

Come on, Pride Month 2023.

What are you, a PUSSY?

#recklessprudence #ask #i WILL update this as needed #unless pride month 2023 wimps out #ahem #come on prove me wrong #you know you want to

201 notes · View notes

janaispunk · 1 month

Text

inspired by @the-blind-assassin-12 i joined her march fic madness 2024 challenge, with the goal to read and reblog 63 fics in 31 days.

i’ve read waaaayyyy more than that, but i’ll keep going until march is over and add every new fic to this list later :) i’m also thinking about starting a weekly rec list of fics that i’ve read, i’ll obviously still reblog them individually but i think it would be nice to have them in one place, since things can easily get lost on the dash.

in an attempt to keep this somewhat organized, i’ll sort this list by character. i love every fic on here, but i do read some dark shit, so please pay attention to the tags/warnings and decide for yourself if something might not be for you <3

part 1 because this is how i found out that you can’t tag more than 50 people lol • find part 2 here!

joel miller

when i move you move & company assets by @ghotifishreads

dancing with a ghost & texas reznikoff by @huntingingoodwill

daddy next door by @cavillscurls

seasons don’t, no quiet on this earth, no loyalty in the apocalypse, save your tears & better run by @corazondebeskar-reads

homemade by @gutsby

a day beyond this night by @quinnnfabrgay-writes

between two lungs & knuckles deep by @ozarkthedog

woman by @dancingtotuyo

him. he. joel. by @undercoverpena

late bloomer by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

smother by @beardedjoel

declined by @alltheirdamn

nylon lust by @decembermidnight

for you, for me by @swiftispunk

creature comforts & kiss it better by @galactic-basic

amateur by @ezrasbirdie

into the woods by @sugarcoated-lame

new perspective by @thetriumphantpanda

garnish by @penvisions

hanging on the telephone by @macfrog

some nights by @pedroacrossthestreet

helen by @kiwisbell

the duke’s illicit affair by @hellishjoel

javier peña

scathed by @dancingtotuyo

the hounds of hell by @aurorawritestoescape & @milla-frenchy

tres besos by @mrsmando

bend over by @endlessthxxghts

dave york

extra credit by @mothandpidgeon

din djarin

live to rise, nobody is coming to save you by @corazondebeskar-reads

dieter bravo

personal shopping by @huntingingoodwill

uninhibited by @ozarkthedog

frankie morales

do me yourself, midnight strikes, where is my prince? & a debt to pay by @undercoverpena

home by @dancingtotuyo

object of my affection & sweet treat by @mrsmando

life is but a… by @wordywarriorwrites

acts of service by @swiftispunk

marcus pike

headshots by @secretelephanttattoo

jack daniels

sundress season by @kewwrites

marcus moreno

if it wasn’t for the nights by @simpingcowboy

the secret by @frannyzooey

tim rockford

moss by @5oh5

lucien flores

hungry eyes by @missredherring

two-pack habit & a motel tan by @trulybetty

like a moth to a flame by @ozarkthedog

precious by @jksprincess10

the party by @aurorawritestoescape

moaning, panting by @iamasaddie

boba fett (i don’t know how that happened, blame ang lol)

toys don’t talk by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

if you read any of these, please remember to show the writers some love! <3

#marchficmadness24 #janas recs #fic recs #joel miller #javier peña #dave york #din djarin #frankie morales #dieter bravo #marcus pike #marcus moreno #jack daniels #tim rockford #lucien flores #boba fett

87 notes · View notes

wildglitch · 24 days

Text

What if Zombies!Spidey x DCU LETS GOOOOOOOOO-

O K-

So, This is the (Probably not the last, don't worry) post with ideas for my What If Zombies!Peter In the DCU AU. This is the post that (Finally) Focuses on the DC side of things. This post Is also going to be mainly focused on Peter and what he's up to cause he's the focus of this AU, but I’m probably gonna make another post with info on the other heroes, so If your interested in that, don't worry cause I am thinking about them (Bucky & Loki = Brainwashed bros)

Its also part 1 of Idk since this post kinda got away from me with its length (oops)

Anyways, without further adieu, let's start :D

-So! starting this off with something fun and not that serious that I just found out. this should have probably gone in the first post but I didn't know this until now so here, a +1 info on “facts about the zombie apocalypse” tm.

Ok, so at this point you know I like to play around with the timeline right? Ok so, I’m researching the dates and events things take place in right? Turns out, the snap happened in either May or June, and one source even said that it happened on May 31. Now, with this in mind and the fact that I said the apocalypse lasted between 7-8 months, what happens if you subtract 8 months from May? You get October. And if you add the date to it? Guys…I accidentally made it that the zombie apocalypse starts on Halloween! That's just insane!

The official timeline now is 8 months of the zombie apocalypse, no more no less, sorry, I don't make the rules :^ (omg I made Antman & the Wasp a halloween movie lmao. It fits)

-Alright so, Peter, Head Scott/w the cloke and T’challa are on a plane on their way to Wakanda when all of a sudden, well, how many of you seen the Young Justice Episode s1e19 Misplaced? (Btw have I talked about how much I love Billy batson? I will one of these days ok, and that's a threat) well anyways

Airplane squad: *”peacefully” traumatized on a plane to Wakanda

Airplane squad: *the people on the plane fucking fazes out of reality leaving him alone to fly the plane*

Peter: *Panik*

Peter: *feels a pull wanting to take him but fighting it off as he tries to fly a fucking plane*

Peter: *also fades out of reality but much later the other and is now falling to certain doom in the middle of the ocean*

Peter: “Oh What the F-”

Ya that-

I mixed aspects of the snap and scene from misplaced as their way of splitting up. And, they did split up. A high speed plane plus the time it took them to disappear firmly separates Peter from the rest of the heros. And thus the adventure commences

-unlike Billy who can fly, Peter falls head first at top speeds and a thousand meters high into the ocean. This can happen a few different ways

1) Peter is stranded, and is found by Young Justice or any superhero team that was passing through the ocean and thinks “Oh shoot, that's a child”. And this is how he ends up with the league. This one is kinda fast and there wouldn't be any identity reveal since at this point this Peter has no concept of such a thing. But a good way to work around this is memory loss. Not really my cup of tea but I can very much see this happening considering how hard he hit his head

2) …So Peter fucking dies-

Listen! I somehow started off with my 2 most opposite extremes of ideas, but hear me out. The fall? It kills him. But lets say that some cult or the league of assassins or some shit find his body, realize he’s a “meta” and decide “Yeah, this is a good revival candidate” And they revive the poor sucker. He is held captive HYDRA style and they try to turn him into a weapon. Obviously, he escapes, set free onto the world with a few months of trauma and a stolen one way ticket anywhere. And that anywhere just so happens to be Gotham. I’ll let your mind take it from there

3) This is the last version of events I’m gonna mention and I think this one is the one I'm sticking with, purely for the comedic potential I can see coming out of this. So Peter fought back the spell right? Well unlike the snap where he was fighting a force of nature were he would not have won, Peter was fighting Loki off, which,

Yeah, so since Loki had to focus on getting that idiot spider child to cooperate, he loses track of everyone else, and all of a sudden, the fuzzy mental image he had of everyone dissipates, and Peters becomes the full focus. This lets him save the kid from the crash, but he now doesn't know where all of the others are, including his brother, and now he can't really get to any of them.

Peter: Fighting off that staticy feeling that's trying to take him

Loki: *Genuinely struggling to get this non magic kid to corporate with him*

Loki: Damnit CHILD! I'm trying to save your worthless life!

Peter: *Legit almost wins and gets left by himself in the zombieland*

Loki: …What did they feed you?

-Peter is saved with a spell that's basically the bubble from steven universe but Loki style. He can breathe just fine, but he can't get out or call for hell. He spends many Hours like this.

-Ok so, Loki is a god. We have established this, I keep mentioning it (sorry) he himself brings this up multiple times. What is something gods tend to have sometimes? Avatars, people who act out their will on Earth. You see where I'm going with this? Since Peter is the only mortal from his world he has access to, and because he is stuck on the watchtower, he decides to make a deal with Peter to make him his Avatar and have him look for the others (Thor). Peter, after having most of the situation explained to him, accepts his offer, with a few conditions here and there that prevent Loki from taking full advantage of him. But at the end of the day, they are both desperate and accept the others' offers and conditions with little fuss.

-Deals and conditions for the avatar contract between Peter and Loki

Loki’s Mission: Find the other mortals and spread chaos as his agent Loki’s Offer: Slight magical aid, “ability boost”, Protection from other magical entities, Godly guide and knowledge and Loki wont force Peter into doing anything too grotesque Loki’s conditions for Peter: He will be able to access anything Peter is seeing and be able to take control of any situation if he sees it fit, he must go on the missions he sends him on, And if the situation ever truly demands it, he will listen to everything Loki tells him to do Peter’s Mission: Finding his friends and finding a cure to his world in this new one as Loki’s Agent. He must also make good impressions on other Magical being in this world as to not shame the god he’s representing Peter Offer: His loyalty and tentative trust, he won't argue too much and will do his absolut best to find Thor. he will Listen to Loki and do what he says Peter’s Conditions for Loki: Will become his Avatar as long as he gets to keep being a hero and doesn't have to hurt or kill people. He will only do a mission once a month, and he will not advertise the Avatar bit. Peter gets free will, He can refuse to do something as long as he isn't demanded of it.

With this, a hand shake, and some blood, The deal is made in the bubble in the middle of the ocean.

-Peter is now Loki’s Avatar, Moonknight style, Yay! They don't really like each other that much due to circumstance but it's fineeeeeee. I did this because 1) I thought of a scenario that didn't really make sense unless Peter was somehow talking to him 2) It’s a little nod to the fact most of the fics have the snapped souls with Peter on his adventure. I thought that this way he can still have his voice in his head , it's not that crowded because it's only one voice, and it's not that Intrusive because Loki isn't going to be with Peter 24/7 only when he needs him, he's using some of his powers, or when he can sense distress or danger coming from Peter- Other than that he's stuck at the watchtower trying to plan his next moves. And 3) Cause the thought came to me and i thought it was fucking Holirouse.

-With Some trickery, Peter sneaks onto a boat and spends his time hidden under the deck pretending and hides like a corner spider the whole trip

-Peter in his, Hasn't been around actual living breathing humans for such a long time, self, breaks down and cries at the docks. Coincidentally, The bats are doing a drug bust there and a wearhouse not 10 feet away from him blows up.

-Peter in his typical fashion, Puts on his mask and runs into the building looking for survivors.

-The bats, not knowing what happened, see’s this costume stranger helping the thugs get away and immediately clocks him as a villain. Opps

-They fight, misunderstandings happen and now, The friendly neighborhood Spider-Man Is on the front page as gothams hottest new Rogue. Well shit

-Peter being the smart guy he is, squats at an unoccupied apartment and claims it as his. Then Loki shows up after weeks of radio silence, takes one look at the place and says, hell nah, and fixes the place up with magic making the place more than livable. With some (probably magical) persuasion, the guy renting out the place actually puts him on the lease with 50 bucks of monthly rent. Does Peter feel guilty…well? Gotta roll with the punches man. Plus, this place looks nice, ignoring his 20 something neighbor that has enough blood on him to turn his white hair dye red that had sent his spider sense. This is fine.

-With some help from the voice in his head and walking through dark alleys at night, he finds a guy that works for immigration and was selling sketchy (But legit) identities. Not really trusting the guy but in desperate need and ID for the lease he was about to sign, He coughs up all the savings he had, took a Photo, and Ben P. Riley was born. He said he didn't trust the guy.

-Peter has decided to go by an alias for a few reasons, like not knowing if there was already another Peter Parker in this reality and not really wanting to risk it or the plain fact that he didn't really trust anyone in this new reality with it (Loki and his magical guidance, he has firmly decided to never give out his name so freely ever again). His name is one of the last things from his past life that he can call his own, And if his “Villainous” identity was revealed as Peter Parker, he didn't know if he could handle it. The most simple reason was that he just missed his family and wanted something in this new life he was making for himself to remind himself of them. Ofcourse, he still added that P in there middle so as to not completely erase himself.

-Peter spends a full month just trying to get used to living in a society again, This causes some problems and misunderstandings.

-After many series of misunderstandings and mishaps, everyone thinking he's evil, Peter decides, YK what's, If I can't beat them, join them. Peter starts going out as the “Villain Spider-Man” doing sketchy shit (normal teenage shit) and causing a commotion in Gotham. Peter counts this as his act of mischief and Loki agrees when he sees the kid sell his own photos to the newspaper. Peter isn't actually doing anything evil, it's just his presence that brings fear. The fact that the bats have caught him breaking into multiple high security facilities doesn't really help his case

-Peter spends his months looking through files and files of info searching for the others, but has just about no luck on anything.

-Peter, forced by a mission, goes undercover in Gotham prep to follow one of Loki’s leads. He doesn't really know what he's doing here, but this Tim guy is pretty nice

-Cause of the amazing pictures he keeps selling to the paper, the company hires him full time as their photographer for special events and even lets him write a few articles when they see the notes he puts next to his pictures that provide contexts and stuff like that. This job opens Peter to search to a whole new horizon.

-With Peter's new job, hes sent to many different cities which introduces him to many different people

-He meets Jimmy Olson on a trip to Metropolis and hits it off pretty well with the older man. Jimmy introduces him to his friends and coworkers Lois and Clark, both of whom are just a delegate. Though that Clark guy as not stopped setting of his spider sense since he met him

-The next place he went to was a city called Fawcett, where he was sent to help with a story with one of the local reporters who was apparently his age.

Boss guy: Ben, meet Billy. You two will be working together on the report for this years summer festival

The two sniff each other out as godly “employees” and exchange numbers. And thus, a friendship was born as Billy decided to keep an eye out for any other reality travelers, and Peter is put as one of his emergency contacts to help him get out of shit since he was “technically 20 according to his ID”

Peter: *Looks at Billy*

Billy: *Looks at ‘Ben’*

*Insert that one Spider-Man meme*

-Peter is also sent to Gothams sister city Bludhaven. Peter,ends up meeting a weird police officer that keeps expecting him to take pictures of the guy. But he's nice enough and bought him a hotdog and a cinnamon roll(even though he now thinks he's allergic to them), so the weird outweighs the good.

-On his trip to Bludhaven, Peter decides to go out as spider-man. Not to cause trouble, but to go sightseeing and swinging without the interference of a bat. He ends up sitting upside down on an old building (like that one Atsv scene) working on some leads he has when all of a sudden, Nightwing appeared right behind him dangling off the side of the building like a mad man giving him a heart attack. Nightwing is about to confront the spider after his sneak attack was caught, but before he does, Peter holds out the cinnamon roll towards the vigilante as a peace offering rushing out the words “Please don't hit me!” and Nightwing just stares. He stares long and hard looking between the treat and the Spider mask. Peter was about to run from them when Nightwing sort of just…sits. Or sits at the best of his abilities with no gravity defying powers. He actually does a pretty good job at it. Nightwing takes to offering with a nod and the 2 just sort of sit there in silence. It's awkward and weird, and quiet but for some reason he doesn't feel as uncomfortable as he thinks he should. Even less when he feels the ringing of his spider senses slowly die down as the minutes pass until it's just a constant hum at the back of his head

-They don't talk after that but from here is a turning point as to how the Bat clan view the spider.

More? Nay I say! (There will be a part 2 to this specific post, but it has gotten too long and I need to go to bed. So hopefully this will do for now :^) Plus this feels like agood stoping point since I feel like that ending would mark the ending to an arc

Please let me know what you think of this AU. I love seeing other people's ideas and thoughts. It fuels me lo

And make sure to keep an eye out for Part 2 of this post.

Later

37 notes · View notes