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dilatorywriting · 1 year

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Heroes vs. Villains : Diasomnia

Gender Neutral Reader x Diasomnia vs. Prince Stefan Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: Woe to the Ramshackle Prefect, being caught up in the drama between the Disney Villains and their respective heroes. Diasomnia Version

ie. Wherein Malleus invites you along to Briar Valley's Festival of Roses and Sebek drives you to near insanity. Thankfully (?) getting lost in the chaos means you meet another wayward soul.

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3]

“I don’t think Sebek likes me very much,” you sighed.

“Oh?” Malleus blinked, clearly a bit thrown by the sudden accusation. “What would make you think that?”

Your glare swiveled pointedly to a sharp bolt of green just barely poking out from behind one of the many dilapidated pillars. Sebek’s yellow eyes slowly rose up with the rest of him, and the half-fae glowered at you like a pissy tomcat.

Malleus’s brilliant, neon, gaze slowly tracked yours, and when it met with his Knight’s startled gaping, his brow furrowed in annoyance. His irritated scowl was always a bit hard to read. Was he being pouty? Murderous? Both? Hell if you knew.

“I see,” he sighed after a moment, long suffering.

You just hummed in grumpy agreement as Sebek tried to duck back down behind the debris.

You and Malleus had clicked from the get-go. Perhaps it was because he’d never really had a friend before, and you were far too stupid and naïve about the rules of this new world to understand anything about the implications behind that. The Fae Prince was easy company—he was smart, with a dry, oblivious sort of humor that could leave you in stitches. His ensuing confusion about why you were laughing was always a surefire way to get you laughing harder. You enjoyed his company immensely, and you liked to think that he enjoyed yours enough in turn that perhaps your fleeting humanity had left at least a teensy impression on his near-immortal soul. Or, you know, whatever. At the very least, you were a semi willing student for his nightly architecture lectures, and you knew that at least put you in better standing than, say, Leona.

So when you received a personal summons to the Briar Valley’s Festival of Roses—hand delivered by the Crown Prince himself—you were over the moon.

“You seemed interested in our customs,” Malleus had explained. “And seeing as I invaded your home over the Halloween festivities, it only seems right that this time I extend you the invitation into mine.”

You agreed enthusiastically, because hell-fucking-yes you wanted to see all the mystical, magical, mumbo-jumbo that this world had to offer. Sure, you were trapped here for an indefinite amount of time, but you would be damned if you let the only cool part of any of that miserable uncertainty go to waste.

“Is there anything I should know?” you asked, fighting the urge to bop around the carriage like a toddler on a sugar high. Because that’s how you were travelling. In an honest-to-goodness horse drawn carriage. (Or, well, magic drawn or something.) “So that I don’t embarrass any of you or anything, I mean.”

Lilia was smirking over at you with a kind of fond amusement that you assumed meant he’d picked up on your rabid excitement from a mile away. Your vibrating was probably shaking his seat. Occasionally his wine-red irises would flick to Malleus, and that smirk would curl into something sharper, something mischievous.

“Humans aren’t too common to see,” Malleus said, with the same, odd sort of tension about him that had rocketed through his too-tall frame the moment you’d climbed into the seat beside him. “But they are not entirely unfamiliar either. You should be treated fairly.”

Your horned friend had been strangely silent throughout most of this journey. The weirdest part was that he seemed absolutely determined to stare out the window—head turned at a sharp angle, his hands clasped neatly in his lap and shoulders pulled so stiff and straight that he could have been one of the gargoyles that he so loved. And for someone who usually made far too much eye contact, the lack of acknowledgement was a bit unnerving.

“You’ll be more than fine as you are,” Lilia translated, the points of his fangs peeking out from behind his grin. “And I can promise you that any guest of Malleus’s will be welcomed with open arms.”

Malleus continued his resolute stare down with the glass and Lilia snickered into his palm. Sebek made a strangled noise from his seat across from you. He hadn’t been particularly vocal thus far about his disapproval of your inclusion (you doubted Sebek had it in him to openly question any decision of Malleus’s), but the look of complete and utter dismay twisting his face was telling enough.

You leaned in and prodded Malleus gently in the side.

“I won’t be, like, executed or something if someone hears me call you ‘Tsunotarou,’ will I?”

Sebek squawked and there was a sudden strike of lightning just outside the carriage window that rattled the entire coach with an echoing boom.

“No,” Malleus said emphatically, his lime-green glower zeroing in on you for the first time since this entire venture began. “No one will touch you, no matter what indiscretions they may think to assume you guilty of.”

“But, young master!—” Sebek started to argue. “The impropriety of—” he spluttered. “To even think thatyou could be addressed as—as that is—"

“No,” Malleus repeated, nearly a growl, and another bolt of bright static lit the window. The electricity seemed to linger in the air long after the flash had faded, like a little, rippling, current running the edge of its teeth along your skin. “And this will be the last it is discussed.”

The terrible, quiet, tension that followed was broken by a snuffling snore as Silver shifted, his head flopping from where it’d been pressed against the wooden paneling to instead land with a heavy thwump against Lilia’s shoulder.

“How… How did he sleep through all that?” you asked in awe.

Lilia sighed, affectionate, and reached out to ruffle a clawed hand through Silver’s hair. “He’s so special~”

You knew that Malleus was royalty and blablabla, but you hadn’t really anticipated all the things that came with that. The castle? Yes. Totally made sense. The entire entourage of servants that appeared to whisk away your bags? Also rational. Sorta cool, and definitely made you feel a bit too much like a celebrity, even if you understood the need for such protocol.

Malleus also immediately being whisked away?

Now that… That you hadn’t really considered.

“I’ll meet back with you as soon as I can,” he promised. Lilia and Silver had already vanished down a separate winding hallway, and the prospect of being left all alone in this gargantuan foyer was just short of terrifying. “There are some final preparations for the Festival that I am required to oversee personally.” And then there was another moment where Malleus resolutely refused to meet your gaze, and if you didn’t know any better you’d say it was almost like he was being coy. But it passed quickly enough and instead he cast a pointed glare towards his subordinate. “Sebek can show you around in the meantime. He’s a more than capable guard.”

You looked at Sebek and Sebek looked at you.

Uh-oh.

“How long will that take?” you asked, hoping it didn’t sound as whiny as it felt. But, like, come on. This was basically the human equivalent of your friend inviting you to come visit for the holidays and then immediately dumping you with their weird aunt and the dog that never really learned not to pee on the carpet.

“Only until the evening,” he assured, like it wasn’t just barely past ten in the morning—like eight-plus whole ass hours was really no time at all. And to be fair, for him it probably really wasn’t. But for you and your very mortal panic, it immediately felt like you were facing down eternity. You didn’t know what your face was doing, but whatever it was, it made Malleus’s brow scrunch up in concern. “Will that be alright?”

“Of course,” you lied, like a good guest. “You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.”

He smiled that small, slanted, smile of his that always looked just a touch too sharp at the corners. And then he was gone, and it was just you and Sebek.

“So,” you tried. “Do you know what any of that was about?”

“LORD MALLEUS’S PRINCELY RESPONSIBILITIES ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, HUMAN!” Sebek barked, crossing his arms sternly across his chest. “IF THE YOUNG MASTER DID NOT SEE FIT TO INFORM YOU, THEN I SEE NO REASON WHY I SHOULD EITHER!”

You groaned and valiantly fought the urge to drop your head into your hands.

“Don’t touch that, human!”

“How dare you—you’re going to embarrass the young master!”

“Human! Don’t you dare!”

“Human!”

“HUMAN!”

You were going insane. You couldn’t blink without Sebek snarling at you about impropriety, and the fact that your very presence in this castle was a failing of tradition itself. You tried to ask about the Festival and were immediately shut down. You inquired politely if there was anything you could do to help, only to be told firmly that silly little humans weren’t good for anything and to keep your nose out of it. You asked to use the bathroom and your stupid, mortal, bladder was cursed within an inch of its life.

“It would have been easier not to bring you at all,” Sebek grumbled for the thousandth time as he grouchily led you through rows of decorative stalls.

“I am aware,” you grit out, grinding your molars.

“I still can’t understand it,” he rambled. “No matter how many times Master Lilia explains it to me, you—this—it defies all logic!”

“Friendship isn’t always logical,” you bit back, firm. Because that is what you were, right? Friends? And then, because you were angry and wanted to hit him where it hurt— “You know, if Malleus is so willing to sully himself by keeping someone as lowly and stupid as me as his friend, maybe that’s a sign that the other company he’s forced to keep is less than ideal.”

Sebek puffed up like a rooster in a cock fight and turned on you with a snarl.

“How dare you presume to call yourself the Young Master’s friend!” The corners of his lips curled down over jagged canines. “At best you’re a pet—something that’ll long outlast its welcome before you eventually wither away and die.”

Annnnd you had officially reached your allocated tolerance of Anti-Human-Bullshit for the day.

So when Sebek was caught up in another one of his longwinded tirades, you slipped into the gap between two of the Festival stalls and out the other side. The silence was immediate and like a balm against your sore hide.

There was something about Sebek that made you think he didn’t really mean all those things he spouted. Occasionally there was a kind of disquiet in his yellow gaze, especially when he ranted angrily about the shortcomings of his very human father. The green-haired fae was far from subtle, and you had a feeling that all his huffing and puffing was probably to hide something… else. Something more uncertain and small that he downright refused to address. Because humans were weak, and short-lived, and chaotic. And he would have to face that sooner or later. With Silver. With his own parent. And hating that humanity was no doubt easier than loving and losing it.

That being said, his prickly behavior still made you want to punt his head like a spiky, green, football. So.

You wandered around aimlessly through the intricate maze of market stalls and booths. Despite the perpetually grey cloud cover, everyone here was so cheerful. And Lilia was right—no one seemed to give two shits about your very human eyes, and face, and stature. It was really nice. You spent so long strolling through the rows that you barely even noticed when the sky began to darken and the crowds thinned as you approached the outskirts. There was an ominous roll of thunder in the distance, but you didn’t think too much of it. The clouds looked ready to open up any second. It was probably just a bit of rain.

There was a little, makeshift, dirt pit at the edge of the stalls, and you observed it curiously. It was ringed with colorful, triangular, flags, and the inner crater was lined with archery targets and wooden sparring dummies. It reminded you a bit of those competition fields in Renaissance Fairs.

However, so enraptured by these painted planks were you that you wound up crashing headfirst into a wall of crimson, and immediately plummeted towards the ground. But then a strong arm was around your waist, twirling you back to your feet. And boy was it a twirl—like you were being swung around into an entire waltz. It left your head spinning worse than if whoever-it-was had just let you faceplant into the dirt.

“Wow, ow. Your head is way harder than it looks. Ouch. My poor ribs.”

You immediately moved to apologize, but were caught off guard by a pair of softly rounded ears peeking out from beneath mused, brown, hair. Another human. Like you. You blinked a few times, not entirely sure why the idea of another mortal gallivanting around the Festival was so surprising. You fought what would no doubt look like an insanely creepy urge to lean closer and get a better look at his face, just to make sure—to check if his canines were blunted, if his pupils were round and soft rather than narrow slashes of black. There was another low rumbling of thunder, closer this time. It was followed by a sharp crack of lightning that set the hairs on the back of your neck on end.

“Sorry about that,” you finally managed to eke out, vision still a bit swirly.

“It’s alright. It didn’t actually hurt that badly,” your victim chuckled, cordial, and set you back on your feet. It was a very lovely chuckle—deep and warm, like melting, dark, chocolate. “Are you alright? You look a little dazed.”

“I think so—” you began, before accidentally putting a bit too much weight onto your left ankle. It twinged painfully and you winced. Immediately that hand was back at your shoulder, keeping you balanced. “Or maybe not.”

“I guess my head is still harder than yours after all,” Mister Brunette mused to himself.

“I don’t think your head twisted my ankle,” you mumbled, confused.

He tossed his head back with a laugh, and you couldn’t help but notice that he had very lovely cheekbones. Not as sharp as Malleus’s maybe, but still perfectly proportioned to the rest of his very well-cut face.

“What are you doing all the way out here? Are you lost too?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you hummed, glancing around at the semi-familiar layout. You couldn’t really tell if you recognized the little stalls because you’d seen them before, or if it was just because they were standard make and all looked more or less the same. “…Probably.”

“We can be allies in idiocy then,” he snorted pleasantly, and reached out with his other hand to double up on helping you better maintain the balance that you so clearly did not possess.

“Does this new ally have a name?” you asked, still a bit dizzy.

“Stefan,” he grinned—all white teeth and charisma. “After my great-great-great—” He paused for a moment, as if considering, “great-great-grandfather.”

He laughed merrily at whatever disgruntled face you were pulling.

“Yeah. I guess it is all a bit pretentious,” he sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “But that’s just the way it is back home—for my family, at the very least. Lots of tradition this, and lineage that.”

“Oh?” you hummed. “Sounds stifling.”

“It is! I mean, it’s practically the 14th century now,” he laughed, and you genuinely could not tell if he was being serious. “I’m always telling my father it’s time to get with the times, you know?”

For a moment, you were reminded so strongly of Malleus and his general dissociation with the modern world that it was almost startling.

“And you?”

“Me?” you blinked.

He laughed. “Your name? If you don’t mind me inquiring, of course.”

You gave it freely. Lilia had cautioned you once upon a time about something-something-power-in-a-name, but Lilia wasn’t here right now. And it’s not like you were anyone special enough that your name could mean much of anything to begin with. Maybe, if they were lucky enough, someone could use it as an incantation to summon a hungry racoon from the sewers.

Stefan repeated it merrily, with the same inflection one may use when telling a fantastical tale to friends in a tavern. No ravenous racoons spawned from the trees when he said it, so you assumed the whole ‘power’ thing was probably safe.

Another flash of emerald lit the sky—this strike was larger, louder. Like dozens of branches unfurling from a rotting tree, or clawed fingers digging their way through the clouds. The roar of thunder that followed almost seemed to shake the ground. Stefan frowned up at the black clouds.

“It was already starting to get late anyways, but the weather is really starting to turn, huh?” he hummed and tapped at his chin, pensive. “And I can’t just leave you all the way out here—especially knowing that you’ve got a bum ankle. Hmm…” More tapping. And then his hazel eyes lit up like firebugs. “Have you ever ridden a horse before?”

“A horse?” you repeated, confused.

“Helios,” he smiled, bright as the sun. “He’s my best friend. And, well, also my trusty steed. He’s just over in the contestant’s stables. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind giving you a lift.”

Riding back into the heart of the Festival on horseback sounded like something that would absolutely give Sebek at least two separate heart attacks. But before you could voice your skepticism, Stefan was rushing off—his crimson cape swirling behind him in the wind.

“I’ll be right back!”

You slouched against a pillar with a sigh, shifting as much of your weight off your ankle as you could manage. You wondered if Malleus had finished his Pre-Festival duties. You wondered if Sebek had realized you’d disappeared yet. Surely even he wasn’t that oblivious. You wondered if he was panicked at all—if not for you, then for his Lord’s inevitable wrath at the misplacement of a favored ‘pet.’

“Well, well. There you are, little one.”

You jolted in surprise and immediately curled back into yourself with a pained hiss. Goddamned ankle—

“Lilia,” you gaped. “Jesus fucking—don’t dothat.”

The Fae shot you a wicked grin from his place floating overhead, angled just-so so that it looked like he was dangling upside-down from the wooden signage across the top of an empty stall. But you knew better. He was bouncing around on his magic and his magic alone.

“How did you end up all the way out here?” Lilia hummed, slipping from his ‘perch’ to land gracefully at your side. His wine-red eyes roved over you from head to toe. It felt like you were being filleted. “And you’ve gone and hurt yourself on top of everything. Goodness,” he sighed, bone-deep and weary. “I was hoping I wasn’t going to have to deal with another one of Malleus’s tantrums this evening. And yet, here you are. Being so careless.” Another sigh, nearly a groan. “What am I going to do with you, hmm?”

“It’s not like it was my fault!” you spluttered, even though it had definitely been your fault.

Lilia gave you a look.

“Either way,” he continued, voice lilted in that indulgent way that reminded you far too much of a parent trying and failing to discipline a wayward child, “let’s get you back before he blows the entire market away.”

Then, Stefan called your name and the fond expression on Lilia’s face immediately flattened into something so pointedly blank it was almost unsettling. Your new friend came trotting forward, a lovely and large silver dun horse at his side. Helios, you assumed. The gigantic beast caught sight of Lilia and slid to a standstill, rearing up with a panicked whinny as he backpedaled. Stefan twisted his hands into the reins and ran a hand along the horse’s neck—shushing and placating the startled animal. After a moment, Stefan managed to calm Helios enough to keep him from bolting, and he turned on Lilia with wide eyes.

“Lord Vanrouge,” Stefan said, angling his head in what you assumed was deference. “I wasn’t expecting to see you this evening.”

“Nor I you,” Lilia hummed, that impassive expression remaining firmly in place. “To what do we owe the pleasure, Prince Stefan? We were informed that you and your family wouldn’t be arriving until the day after next.” A pause. The silence felt louder than anything Lilia had said up to that point. “If at all.”

“Prince?” you choked, turning on the brunette with eyes as wide as dinner plates.

“Whoops?” Stefan shrugged, looking sheepish. “And I—well… I just wanted to get a look at everything. Beforehand.”

“Of course,” Lilia droned. “Either way. You’ll have to excuse us.” The Fae slide one hand beneath your knees and the other around the small of your back, and hauled you into his arms as if you weighed nothing at all. “We have a pressing appointment to keep.”

With that, the world seemed to tilt on its axis as the environment melted together like splotches of watercolor paint all running together at the bottom of a page. You’d never been teleported before. You’d seen Malleus and Lilia pop in and out of existence plenty of times, but being dragged through the fabric of time and space alongside him was jarring, and the journey left you feeling nauseous and loopy all over again.

It took you a moment to realize that the universe had stopped spinning, and that the plush material beneath your palms felt an awful lot like the duvet on the bed in your guestroom. You opened your eyes slowly, cautiously, to see Lilia had placed you neatly by your pillows and had already moved away to start fretting over your swollen ankle instead.

“I never thought I would have to lecture you on the dangers of talking to strangers,” he tutted, though it wasn’t entirely playful.

“I didn’t know he was a Prince,” you complained, wincing when he prodded clinically at your stinging flesh. “I just thought he was, I don’t know, some guy.” You fought and failed the urge to fidget—fingers nervously meshing together in your lap. “…I didn’t cause an international incident or anything, did I…?” You had no idea how any of this royalty stuff worked. But you could put two-and-two together well enough to understand that the personal guest of one crowned prince mowing down a different prince was probably not looked upon very highly.

Lilia leaned forward to pat your head, some of his usual mischief working its way back into his expression.

“Not to worry, Prefect,” he smiled. “I doubt any wars have been declared over your transgressions.”

There was another roar of thunder and the castle itself seemed to tremble. The bay windows lining the wall opposite you were lit entirely in a sharp flash of lime green. Once the wicked brightness of the lightning had faded into something less blinding, you could make out dozens of hairline cracks racing up the glass panes.

Lilia sighed, looking for the first time like someone who was very acutely feeling the weariness of his hundreds upon hundreds of lifespans. “Well, not yet, at least.”

TAG LIST [CLOSED]

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#twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #My Writing #Heroes vs. Villains #twisted wonderland OCs #twst ocs #Malleus Draconia x Reader #Malleus x Reader #Malleus Draconia #Silver twst #Sebek Zigvolt #Lilia Vanrouge #Diasomnia x Reader #Malleus x Yuu #Heroes vs Villains Diasomnia Part 1

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frenchkisstheabyss · 10 months

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♡𝔼𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕔𝕪 𝕨/ 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕪 𝕂𝕚𝕕𝕤♡

...because there's 1001 ways outside of physical touch to be loved on by your darling bias/wrecker ♡

When you bring up something you’re passionate about and the other person doesn’t say much it can feel like you aren’t being listened to. With Lee Know you don’t have to worry about that. He might be quiet but he’s hanging on every word you say, memorizing the things that make your beautiful face light up. It’s important to him that you believe the things you say actually matter. That what has meaning to you will always by default have meaning to him too.

Chan is your safe space. Wherever you are you’ll always feel like you’re at home as long as he’s by your side. The whole world could be crumbling around you and you wouldn’t be afraid because you know he’ll protect you. There’s nothing you could ever do to deem yourself unworthy of his love. You could make what you think is the biggest mistake of your life and that wouldn’t change a thing. You are forever the same wonderful human he fell for.

There’s nothing wrong with crying. If it’s because depression’s kicking your ass today or because you saw a particularly cute cat video, Felix won’t make you feel weird about it. Honestly, he might end up crying right along with you. There’s nothing you can’t open up to him about. He wouldn’t dare tell you that you’re being too sensitive or that you need to suck it up. Shed as many tears as you have to and he’ll be right there to dry them.

Seungmin has got his own unique way of showing affection. A way that sometimes makes you want to bop him in the back of the head for being such a menace. As much fun as it is annoying you, he goes out of his way to make sure you’re taken care of. You’ll never want for anything and if you do he makes sure that you have it. Ice cream craving at 2am? He’ll drive to the gas station to get it for you, even if he whines about it a little bit.

Any random idea you have I.N will be on board with. Matching Halloween costumes? Let’s do it. Dancing on the kitchen table to that one song you love that you only listen to when no one’s around? He’s already up there extending his hand to pull you up with him. There’s nothing too “weird” or “random” for him. All of the things about you that you feel are strange are the exact reason why he can’t imagine a life without you. They’re what makes you you.

Hyunjin is here for the deep early morning/late night conversations about things you might be too afraid to open up about. Of course, he loves to see you smiling and happy but he also knows that life’s not that way all of the time. There’s bound to be days, even weeks maybe, where the darkness creeps in and it’s a bit too much for you to bare. It’s much easier to cope with knowing that you won’t have to bare it in secret. He’s right there with you.

Speaking of having tough conversations, Han is never afraid to hear you out if he hurts you. Naturally, it’ll upset him that he hurt you to begin with. He won’t get defensive though or ignore the pain you’re experiencing. Accidental or not, he’s gonna spend as much time as it takes to hear you out so that it doesn’t happen again. Open communication is everything between the two of you. He doesn’t see how he can say that he truly loves you without it.

Changbin is very particular when it comes to you. He treats you like an absolute princess and anyone who comes around you better do the same or there will be hell to pay. It’s not that he doesn’t think you’re capable of taking care of yourself. You’re not some fragile thing to him but you do deserve to be treated delicately. He showers you with every drop of softness he has in him because he treasures you so dearly and he’d wage war if anyone put a scratch on you.

#stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #changbin x reader #bang chan x reader #seungmin x reader #lee felix x reader #lee know x reader #han jisung x reader #jeongin x reader #hyunjin x reader

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gerrystamour · 4 months

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the fire is so delightful

For: @mojowitchcraft / weird_witchcraft

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington & Max "Maxine" Mayfield

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 5,500

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Single Parent Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington is Max's dad in this, Steve Harrington is a Christmas Lover, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Frottage, Dom/sub undertones

Summary: Eddie hates Christmas. Steve, and his daughter, loves it. Eddie decides to grin and bear it.

This fic is a part of the @steddieholidayexchange

[ READ ON AO3 ]

All great things come with a certain amount of sacrifice, Eddie told himself that everyday.

So when the hot school teacher that frequented the bar Eddie worked asked him out, he knew there had to be some sort of catch.

He knew Steve was a single dad well before he asked Eddie out and he’d decided that was just fine by him. Eddie loved kids, was great with them even, plus Steve already told him he had a rule about not introducing new partners to his kid too soon. The kid was absolutely not a sacrifice, in Eddie’s mind.

He also knew that Steve was what one might call a jock, athletically inclined and holy shit, did he look like it. Eddie’s high school self was wailing and screaming about him falling for the enemy, but the first tumble between the sheets proved that the athleticism only did good things for things like stamina, strength, power. So once again, not a sacrifice.

Steve was hilarious, dedicated, hot as hell, and the perfect father. He was accommodating and kind, while also the bitchiest, most savage gossip in the entire world. He was also the best goddamn lay Eddie had ever had, what with the way he took control and helped still Eddie’s racing thoughts, sent his mind straight into the stratosphere where he couldn’t think about anything other than the pleasure he was feeling at Steve’s focused hands.

No, they made it three whole months into their relationship before the moment of truth came.

It was actually two months into the relationship when the first hint came up, if Eddie had been paying any attention at all.

“I’m not much of a Halloween person,” Steve had said when Eddie asked why the decorations on his front lawn were so lame. “Neither is Max, so we don’t really go all out.”

That was insane to Eddie, absolute serial killer vibes. There were several seconds where he was actually contemplating if they would work out.

“Maybe you just haven’t had the right person to show you how awesome Halloween is,” Eddie had teased as he crowded Steve against the kitchen counter.

“Maybe,” Steve had replied with a lazy smirk, glancing at Eddie’s mouth. “Definitely happy to let you try to change my mind.”

And damn, did Steve let him try. That beautiful man went to every goddamn haunt and ghost walk that Eddie dragged him to, and he even smiled through most of it. Steve even found something nice to say about everything they did, even the things that Eddie caught him giving bitchy eyerolls at.

By mid-October, Steve had decided it was time that Eddie met his daughter Max, and their first bonding experience was hitting up the Spirit Halloween and getting her a sick costume and then getting half a dozen pumpkins to carve together. They spent the whole afternoon gutting and carving them while Steve cleaned and roasted the seeds and made other treats and dinner for all three of them.

It had been a perfect day, one that ended with Eddie spending the night at Steve’s house, in his bed, and eating breakfast with both Steve and Max. It was one of those times that Eddie realized he was falling in love and falling fast. That morning, Max had asked Eddie if he would take her and her friends trick-or-treating and Eddie thought his chest might explode it felt so full of affection for the twelve-year old.

The moment of truth came sometime around the beginning of November when Steve came to the bar and bopped his head to the Christmas music that was already playing.

“Annoying, right?” Eddie groused, and Steve raised an eyebrow with one of his patient smiles.

“What is?”

“The music. Halloween just ended and we’re already being subjected to the sickening upbeat nonsense for a capitalist holiday?” Eddie had explained grumpily while he shined a glass. When he’d looked up at Steve, he barely caught the weird expression that was quickly wiped from his face.

“You don’t like Christmas?” Steve had asked, and he was smiling but there was something off about it.

“No,” Eddie said honestly and flatly, and Steve did that little laugh he did only when he was trying to not say something. “Do you?”

“Yeah, but like, a normal amount,” Steve said and then he quickly changed the subject.

After that, Steve seemed reluctant to invite him over until Thanksgiving and Eddie pushed about it. When he finally did, he got all the answers he needed.

Steve’s house was… well, lets just say what it lacked for Halloween decor, it definitely made up for with Christmas stuff. There was a big inflatable Santa and reindeer in the front lawn, and honestly the Christmas lights were so well done they looked professional. Like, straight out of those Christmas commercials.

When Eddie stepped into the house, he quickly realized that Steve was likely a lot more into Christmas than “a normal amount” like he claimed. Every surface had some sort of decor, and there was a stand in the front room for a real tree. Staring at that stand, Eddie kind of hoped he was invited along to go shopping for a tree, which was stupid because he hated Christmas.

“Sorry for all the, y’know,” Steve had said as he scrubbed the back of his neck, gesturing around. “This is our thing, me and Max’s I mean.”

“Stevie, babe, you don’t have to apologize. Like at all. Or pretend to be chill. You literally let me be my craziest about Halloween without complaint,” Eddie had said, insistent and desperate for Steve to understand that had he known, he’d have kept his mouth shut about Christmas entirely.

“Yeah, but I don’t hate Halloween, Eds,” Steve had said with the saddest little smile and Eddie had to stop that immediately.

“Listen, Steve, I don’t have many good memories around Christmas because I grew up poor and most of my extended family hated me, so I just— I never saw the point of it,” Eddie said quickly, grabbing Steve’s hands tightly in his own. “I am more than happy to let you try and change my mind. I want to be part of every single stupid Christmas thing you do if you’ll have me and I’ll even play nice about the dumb stuff, just like you did with me. I promise.”

Steve just smirked at him, an expression Eddie had seen only in the context of either playing one of his sports when he was sure he was going to win and in bed when Eddie challenged him to a seemingly impossible task.

“I look forward to teaching you the magic of Christmas, then,” Steve said simply, and kissed him so sweetly that Eddie’s knees nearly buckled beneath him. Then, when he pulled away, he smirked and pointed upward. “Mistletoe.”

When Steve walked away toward the kitchen and Eddie looked up at the mistletoe hanging above him, he knew he was in trouble if the butterflies in his gut were anything to go by.

The thing was, Eddie loved all the “stupid” Christmas shit Steve dragged him to, and it was a lot less like being “dragged” to them. Sure enough, that Thanksgiving weekend, Steve invited Eddie to go shopping for their tree, and Max had been loud in her demand that he say yes. If he hadn’t already been trying to figure out how to ask to go along, that would have convinced him to give up the Grinch schtick. His heart growing three times its size and that shit. Whatever.

Choosing the tree had taken a whole afternoon at the nursery, Max being exceedingly picky and Eddie just feeding into that to make the whole thing last longer. Eventually Steve reached his limit with the two of them and declared that they had to choose one out of the two contenders they were debating between.

“Eddie should choose!” Max declared, crossing her arms over her chest as she rounded on Eddie. “It’s the rules.”

“What rules, red?” he asked, bewildered and a little touched.

“It’s your first Christmas with us,” she said with a roll of her eyes, like it was the most obvious answer. “New friends choose our tree.”

“Yeah, Max, but that’s only if they’re into Christmas,” Steve said, shooting Eddie an apologetic smile.

“What kind of asshole doesn’t like Christmas?” Max asked and Steve’s mouth dropped open as Eddie winced a bit.

“Maxine!” Steve said sternly, putting his hands on his hips and sending Eddie an almost frantic look.

“Steve, it’s fine. More than fine. I would be honoured to choose your tree,” Eddie said, grinning as he stepped close to kiss Steve’s cheek.

“Our tree,” Max said firmly, and Eddie nodded.

“Of course, I meant ‘your tree’ as in the Harrington tree, not just your dad’s tree, little red,” Eddie had reassured her quickly and she just rolled her eyes.

“No, stupid, I mean our tree. It’s your tree, too,” she explained, frowning when Eddie’s mouth dropped open. Then she huffed and glanced away. “Hurry up and choose. I’m getting cold and Lucas wanted to play some dumb video game today.”

So, Eddie chose the Harrington tree and he even was part of bringing it back to their house, setting it up in the stand and decorating it. They spent hours on the whole affair, and that evening after Max had been in bed for an hour, he found himself laying on the floor of the front room staring up at Steve. He was illuminated by the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree, his eyes shining so brightly in the dim room. They had been making out on the floor lazily, their mulled wine cooling in the mugs sitting on a table nearby.

“Thank you for humouring her,” Steve murmured, tucking some of Eddie’s curls behind his ear. “At the nursery. You could’ve said no and I would’ve made her understand.”

“Wasn’t humouring her, Stevie. I mean it,” Eddie insisted, reaching up and cupping Steve’s jaw. “I’m… I’m all in with you, okay? I want to— I helped with the tree because I wanted to, not because she made me.”

Steve’s grin had been blinding and they barely made it to the bedroom before clothes began to be tugged off of each other.

Thus began the trips to winter markets every single weekend, sometimes multiple markets, where Steve and Max would purchase even more kitschy Christmas decor and mulling spice mixes and various fancy pastries and such. It was a lot of Christmas music (which was still disgustingly overplayed) but it was also a lot of seeing Steve and Max smiling so big their faces had to hurt from it.

So, yeah, the sacrifice in this great thing with Steve was that Eddie had to pretend to like Christmas.

The only thing was, he wasn’t pretending, not with Steve. Not with the way Steve and Max did Christmas, the way they involved all of their loved ones and made sure everyone got something out of the holiday from them. It was a shocking revelation when Eddie realized he wanted to spend Christmas with the Harringtons for the rest of his life, that Christmas had the opportunity to usurp Halloween’s place in his heart if Steve kept this up.

When the Hawkins Winter Carnival rolled around, Eddie was ready for the inevitable invite that would come from Steve. It was the thing to do that time of year, and if Eddie was being honest, he had never gone. Well, he went when he was really young, but it didn’t count because he couldn’t remember it.

But the invite just wasn’t coming, and the carnival weekend was quickly approaching. It would be easy enough to secure the day off of work, but it was always better to have as much notice as possible.

“So, were you gonna be going to the Hawkins Winter Carnival?” Eddie asked one day as he sat at the island in Steve’s kitchen, and Steve’s ears went dark red.

“Uhm, yes, I was going,” he admitted sheepishly, and when he looked up, he balked at whatever expression was on Eddie’s face. “I’m just— I’ve been saddled with chaperoning all of Max’s friends and I didn’t want you to have an extra miserable time.”

Eddie blinked at Steve, confused at his logic there. “Why would I be miserable spending the day with two of my favourite people in the whole world?” he asked, grinning at the affectionate eyeroll and blush that got out of Steve.

“Okay, but it’s not just going to be the three of us. It would be us plus a whole gaggle of other twelve-year olds and I wouldn’t wish that fate on my worst enemy,” Steve replied, stirring the sauce he had simmering on the stove.

“Uh-huh, but that’s still not you asking me what I wanna do,” Eddie pointed out, raising an eyebrow when Steve opened his mouth to argue. When Steve snapped it shut again, Eddie puffed his chest up smugly. “That’s what I thought.”

“Fine. Eddie, would you like to join me and a gaggle of sixth-graders to the carnival?” Steve asked with another roll of his eyes, but he was grinning when he looked up at Eddie through his lashes.

“I would love to!” Eddie replied brightly, already texting his boss at the bar to get the day off.

The day of the carnival was bright and sunny, the snow on the ground blinding. The sun beaming through the windows of Eddie’s apartment was warm, so he just put on his jeans, an insulated pair of boots, and one of his heavier coats. He didn’t want to get too hot walking around, he decided, and the thought of keeping track of gloves and a hat was daunting on its own.

When Steve arrived to pick him up, he only had Max in the back seat, and she was practically vibrating with excitement. Not that she would voice it out loud, of course, but Eddie knew she was happy he was tagging along.

“You look good,” Steve sighed, leaning across the center console to press a soft, chaste kiss to Eddie’s lips, filling his stomach with a swarm of butterflies.

“You, too,” Eddie replied, chasing Steve’s lips for another quick kiss before sitting properly and buckling up. They could usually get away with two chaste smooches before Max started gagging noisily in the back seat.

“So, where are the gaggle of children I was warned about?” Eddie asked after Steve started driving, turning in his seat so he could see Max, too.

“We’re meeting them there,” Max replied, staring out her window.

“So their parents can get them all there, but can’t stick around?” Eddie asked and Steve laughed.

“Yep,” he said, and Max huffed.

“You offer to take us every single year, Dad,” she said flatly, for which Steve apparently had no argument.

Once they arrived at the carnival, it only took a few minutes before an entire gaggle of tweens surrounded them, all of them speaking at volumes that had to be against some kind of international law or convention or something. Eddie just stood off to the side, hands shoved deep in his coat pockets as he watched Steve take charge (kind of) and coral the little demons.

“Who’re you?”

Eddie jumped, startled by a voice right in front of him. Looking down, he realized that all of the kids were now staring at him, and he had no idea which one just spoke.

“Uh… Hi, I’m Eddie,” he replied, taking a hand out of his pocket to wave at the kids with just his fingers. Immediately, he put his hand back into his pocket as he realized the air was a bit colder than he had been prepared for.

“You’re Steve’s boyfriend?” the tallest kid asked with complete and utter disbelief in his voice.

“Gee, Wheeler, thanks?” Steve snorted, rolling his eyes skyward.

“He just seems way out of your league—” Mike started to reply before he was cut-off by a sharp elbow to the sternum from Max. “Hey!”

“Alright, children, let’s keep it civil please. We’ve got three hours to kill here, we don’t need to start it off with a fight,” Steve interjected, bodily stepping between Mike and Max. “Where do we want to head first?”

It was at that point that all the kids started talking at once, stumbling over each other. From what Eddie could gather, the kids wanted to split from the adults and do their own thing. There was a lot of back-and-forth, but eventually, they reached an agreement with Steve.

Firstly, they were to stay within the grounds of the carnival. Secondly, he would be calling one of their cell phones every thirty minutes to check on them and if they didn’t answer they immediately lost their adult-free privileges. Thirdly, they were expected to meet Steve and Eddie at the gates of the carnival at five without Steve having to round them up himself.

“You don’t want a chaperon, you have to act like you don’t need one,” Steve had said when they protested.

And that was how Eddie ended up walking around the winter carnival with Steve, just the two of them.

The carnival was a decent size, with several booths of local artisans and artists selling their holiday themed wares, a midway with food trucks galore, a Ferris wheel and merry-go-round, and carnival games. There was plenty to keep them busy for three hours.

However, Eddie quickly discovered that just because the sun felt warm through the window at home, that did not mean it was going to keep him from getting cold after more than thirty minutes outside. Within an hour and a bit, Eddie’s nose, ears, and fingers were chilly, even with his hair down and his hands kept deep in his coat pockets.

But in the end, Eddie found it easy to ignore his discomfort because Steve was smiling so huge and so bright. Eddie would suffer literally anything, even torture, just to see Steve’s grin, whether it was directed at him or not.

Somehow, though, that happy expression was for Eddie, so he would be brave and not complain about the chill. They only had a little more than an hour to go, and at some point, Eddie could buy a hot drink to wrap his cold fingers around. He was fine, perfect even.

As it came up on four, and Eddie was clutching the biggest polar bear stuffie he’d ever seen (Steve won it for him at the game with the basketball hoops), Steve sighed and wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist. Cuddling into Steve’s warmth, Eddie tilted his head onto Steve’s shoulder as they walked.

“How about we grab some mulled wine?” Steve suggested, turning his head to kiss the top of Eddie’s head and filling his tummy with a furious swarm of butterflies.

“Sounds perfect, big boy,” he replied with a grin, letting Steve lead him to the truck serving the mulled wine. There was a bit of a line, so Steve nodded toward one of the nearby fire pits.

“Grab us a seat?” Steve suggested, and Eddie nodded quickly, more than happy to sit in front of a fire after freezing his dick off for the better part of two hours. When Eddie went to pull away, Steve stopped him. “Goodbye kiss?”

“You’re a sap,” Eddie teased, even as he leaned in and kissed Steve’s smiling lips chastely. “I’m just going, like, ten feet away.”

“You love it,” Steve said as Eddie pulled away, and he was correct. “Your nose is cold,” he added with a grin, and Eddie laughed.

“Yours isn’t much better,” he teased before pulling away and hurrying over to the fire pit, immediately laying his polar bear across the bench to save their seats and holding his hands in the warmth of the fire. It almost hurt, but it also felt really good.

It was only a few minutes before Steve stepped up beside Eddie, leaning close as he offered him one of the little disposable cups. Without hesitation, Eddie stooped to kiss his boyfriend sweetly, grinning when Steve sighed.

“Missed you,” Steve said as he pulled away and beamed at Eddie.

“You were just over there for, like, fifteen minutes,” Eddie replied, his cheeks hot with his blush as butterflies swarmed inside his stomach.

Steve just gave Eddie his most handsome and crooked little grin. “Tell me about it,” he hummed, leaning back in for a quick smooch before holding up Eddie’s mulled wine. “Here’s yours.”

When Eddie finally went to take his cup, their fingers brushed briefly and Eddie made a soft noise at how hot Steve’s fingers felt against his. The other man must have taken his own gloves off while purchasing their drinks.

“What the hell?” Steve asked as his hand flinched away, his expression a bit horrified when his gaze met Eddie’s. “Eds, why are your fingers so cold? How long have they been like this?”

Eddie could feel his cheeks heat with the intensity of his blush, and he shrugged. “Kinda… since we got here?” he said a bit sheepishly and Steve made a small sound of disbelief.

“Are you kidding me? You’ve been giving yourself frostbite and not—I’m rounding up the kids, we’re leaving—” Steve started, and Eddie quickly shook his head.

“No! Don’t! I don’t wanna ruin their fun,” Eddie insisted, and Steve scoffed.

“And you losing your fingers isn’t going to do that?” he asked bitchily, putting a hand on his waist and raising an eyebrow.

“It’s not cold enough for that and you know it,” Eddie replied flatly. “Seriously, Steve, I’m going to be fine. I have a hot drink, a hot fire, and a hot boyfriend. I’ll warm up real quick right here.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed as he considered Eddie’s words and when he opened his mouth to speak, his phone began to ring.

“It’s Max,” he said, frowning a bit as he answered. “Hey! What’s— why’s everyone yelling…? So, no one’s hurt but…? Okay, let me get this straight,” Steve started, smirking a little bit and rolling his eyes at Eddie. “You and Jane are done hanging out with ‘smelly, stupid boys’ but you want me to call in five minutes and end everything early…? What’s in it for me, huh?”

Eddie snorts and sips at his mulled wine, shuffling backward to the bench and scooping his polar bear up into his lap while Steve hummed noncommittally as Max spoke.

“Hmm, I’ll consider your offer closely. Eddie’s been giving himself frostbite this whole time anyway, so I was about to call it anyway,” Steve finally said, ignoring Eddie’s indignant squawk. “Yeah, the butthead didn’t wear any gloves. Do I still have to wait five minutes…? Perfect, we’re at the fire pit near the mulled wine stand… Yeah, the one close to the gates. See you soon.”

Eddie pouted at Steve as he hung-up and sat down next to him. “You didn’t have to do that,” he grumbled, relaxing as Steve wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tugged him closer.

“Hey, Max wanted to be rescued from the boys anyway. If anything, I’m doing her more of a favour than you,” he said flippantly, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Sure, whatever,” Eddie said, and within seconds they could hear the noisy approach of the gaggle of preteens.

The ride back to Steve’s was a whirlwind, with Steve insisting on dropping Mike, Lucas, and Dustin off at their homes first, even though they had to circle back on their route to drop Max off at Jane and Will’s house. The moment they dropped Dustin off and it was just the three kids in the back, Eddie immediately understood the inefficient route. Near-silence immediately fell in the car, the only disturbance being the Christmas music quietly playing on the radio as they drove.

“Holy shit, I think my ears are actually ringing,” Eddie commented, and Steve snorted.

“You get used to the shrill din of Mike Wheeler and Dustin Henderson arguing at the top of their lungs,” he replied, and Max scoffed at that.

“No one gets used to that, Dad,” she argued, and Eddie could see her smirk when Jane and Will giggled at that.

Finally, once they were child-free and back at Steve’s house, Eddie felt ready to crash on the couch and maybe pass out for a little nap. But of course, Steve had other ideas.

“Nuh-uh, you froze at the festival I dragged you to, so I’m gonna make sure you get all warmed up,” Steve insisted, dragging Eddie into a kiss that he refused to let Eddie deepen.

Despite Eddie’s best efforts, Steve was apparently on a mission to actually warm him up. It wasn’t just a euphemism for getting Eddie upstairs to his bed or anything like that.

Instead, Steve drew Eddie a bath in the huge soaker tub in the master bathroom, complete with a fancy bath bomb and even fucking candles. To drive home that this wasn’t about sex, Steve kissed him sweetly, chastely and said, “Enjoy your bath. I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready.”

Eddie wasn’t sure how long he was in the tub, luxuriating in the warm, lavender-scented water, before Steve poked his head inside to let him know that dinner was served. But the bath did the trick, warming him to his core and leaving him feeling loose and relaxed. Sleepy almost, but not completely exhausted like he had felt when they got home after the festival.

‘Wait, not home. To Steve’s house,’ Eddie corrected himself internally, getting out of the tub and slipping on the fluffy bathrobe Steve had said he could use while he was over a couple weeks ago. There was also a pair of slippers that Eddie had left by accident when he spent the night months ago that Steve had placed with the robe.

Downstairs, there was a fire going in the fireplace and Steve was setting out two plates of the meal he prepared on the coffee table. Steve had also gotten changed into his own bathrobe at some point, and that had Eddie struggling with the urge to confess his love right then and there.

“What?” Steve asked and Eddie blinked, startled out of his thoughts. He hadn’t realized he was staring, or standing there for so long.

“Nothing, just admiring my amazing boyfriend, that’s all,” Eddie replied with a giant grin, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders to pull him into a kiss. Once again, all of his attempts to deepen the kiss were thwarted until Steve pulled away.

“Eddie,” he warned, his tone light but the scold in it was obvious to Eddie’s ears. “Dinner first.”

“Haven’t you heard the saying, though?” Eddie challenged lightly, grinning against Steve’s lips as he placed another kiss on them. “Life’s short, so eat dessert first?”

“What did I say, Eds?” Steve asked instead, his tone full of that firmness that Eddie found himself craving more and more often.

With a sigh, Eddie replied, “Dinner first.”

“That’s right,” Steve said with a pleased hum as he stepped out of Eddie’s embrace and motioned for him to sit on the couch.

They ate their food in comfortable quiet, nothing but logs crackling in the fireplace breaking the silence of Steve’s living room. Usually, such quiet would be excruciating for Eddie, but with Steve it felt natural, perfect even. Like it was safe. Quiet moments with Steve never made Eddie feel like he had to fill them with chatter or noise like he would with most other people.

By the time they were done eating, Eddie felt so relaxed he was close to dozing off right there on the couch with his plate in his lap.

“Let’s get you upstairs and tucked into bed,” Steve hummed, standing up and holding his hands out to help Eddie to his feet.

“The dishes…” Eddie pointed out, but Steve just kept tugging him along behind him.

“They can stay right there for one night, Eds,” he replied as they climbed the stairs.

It wasn’t long before they were cuddled up under the covers on Steve’s bed, robes and slippers discarded on the floor next to the bed, and holding each other as they kissed softly, sweetly.

“How’re you feeling?” Steve asked quietly without pulling away. “Warmed up?”

“Definitely,” Eddie replied, eyes fluttering as his body lit up under Steve. “Feeling so warm.”

“Mm, I bet,” Steve chuckled, finally deepening their kiss as one of his hands wandered over Eddie’s chest, down his abdomen, and toward his hip. Before Eddie could dream of whining about being teased, Steve shifted his weight and his thigh pressed between Eddie’s legs. At Eddie’s choked off moan, Steve sighed and said, “Yeah, definitely feeling warm now.”

“Stevie, please,” Eddie whispered against Steve’s mouth as he fought the urge to rut against his thigh.

“You’re not too tired, sweetheart?” Steve asked, and Eddie could hear the genuine concern in his voice.

“Never too tired for you, babe,” he replied easily, and he absolutely meant it. Then he sheepishly added, “it might have to be just this, though, if that’s okay?”

“Of course, that’s okay, Eds,” Steve replied, pulling back to meet Eddie’s eyes as he shifted until he was settled between his legs. “So perfect when you tell me your limits, baby.”

The praise hit Eddie hard in the gut, heat pooling south so quickly he felt dizzy with it. Spreading his legs wider to wrap around Steve’s waist, Eddie moaned when they slotted against each other like matching puzzle pieces.

They rocked together like that, lazy and relaxed, making out softly until Eddie was squirming underneath Steve.

“What do you need, baby?” Steve asked in a whisper, rolling his hips a bit more determinedly, dragging a flurry of whimpers out of Eddie’s throat.

“Need t’come,” he gasped, arching against Steve and whining when Steve worked a hand between their bodies and wrapped his fingers around both of them. “Please, Stevie, m’so close.”

“Me too, Eds,” Steve groaned before capturing Eddie’s lips again in a sloppy, hungry kiss. Just when the coil in Eddie’s gut pulled so tight it was almost painful, Steve whispered a gentle, “come for me, sweetheart.”

Just like that, Eddie spilled between them, making a mess of both of their stomachs and Steve’s hand. When Steve didn’t stop his rocking and stroking, Eddie whimpered almost pitifully, begging Steve to come so the exquisite, perfect torture of overstimulation would end. After only a few more strokes, Steve came with a cry so sweet, Eddie felt tears spring to his eyes as he threw his arms around his boyfriend, refusing to let him go.

They held each other, panting and kissing each other sloppily for a long time, just long enough for the mess between them to become tacky and unpleasant.

“I’ll go grab a cloth, okay?” Steve said with a laugh, carefully getting off the bed to avoid smearing anything on the linens or comforters.

Eddie watched his beautiful boyfriend disappear into the ensuite, feeling warm and floaty, taken care of, and treasured. When Steve returned, Eddie knew he was looking up at the man with the sappiest, lovesick gaze if the way Steve’s cheeks turned pink was anything to go by.

“What?” he asked with a little smirk as he carefully wiped the warm cloth over Eddie’s lower abdomen and softened cock.

Taking a deep breath, Eddie replied, “I love you.”

Steve froze and his eyes met Eddie’s with a fierce intensity that would’ve terrified Eddie if a grin didn’t split Steve’s face a second later. It was huge, bright, and absolutely goofy with the way it crinkled the corners of his eyes. It was Eddie’s favourite Steve smile.

“Even though I prefer Christmas over Halloween?” Steve asked in a voice that was so happy that Eddie couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out of his own chest.

“Hey, you might’ve made a convert out of me,” he confessed, winking at Steve’s shocked gasp.

“Are you serious? I made you a Christmas lover, too?” Steve pressed, tossing the cloth in the general direction of the ensuite so he could lay on top of Eddie.

“Yeah, just as long as I get to spend it with you and Max,” Eddie replied, reaching up to tuck some of Steve’s hair behind his ears. “As long as you and Max still want me around.”

“Well, you’re in luck, Eds, because I intend to keep you as long as you’ll let me,” Steve hummed, dipping his chin to capture Eddie’s lips in a slow, searching kiss before whispering against his lips, “I love you, too.”

And, yeah, Eddie was pretty sure Christmas was going to become his favourite holiday and stay that way for a long time. Maybe even forever if his luck kept up.

#steddie holiday exchange #steddie #steddie fic #steve/eddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #gerry writes

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louloulemons-posts · 8 months

Note

weirdly specific I know but what about fem!goth!reader who's been best friends with eddie for years. he thinks he knows everything about her until one day he climbs through her window to hang (bc of course he does, he can't use a door like a normal person, even if her parents aren't home, where's the fun in that?) and finds her rocking out to taylor swift and it turns out shes a massive closet swiftie.

Weird But F-ing Beautiful

Modern!Eddie X Fem!Gothic!Reader

Summary : You were a metal head with a secret, you love Taylor Swift.

Word Count : 1k

(How I imagine Reader would defend Taylor)

Warnings : not proofread, 3am writing (again-pls someone save my sleep schedule), so many taylor references!, swears, petnames, cuteness, eddie and reader are just adorable honestly

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You and Eddie had known each other for years now, you’d say he was your best friend in the whole world.

The pair of you had a lot in common, you were both unusual and unique people. You bonded over that, along with your love of bands like Metallica and Black Sabbath.

You’d always liked darker things, loving halloween whilst most liked christmas. Horror movies and true crime documentaries brought you comfort.

Complaining about summer as your dark wardrobe made the heat cling to you, it was just the person you were. But you had a secret, one that even Eddie didn’t know of.

You absolutely loved Taylor Swift. You’d found yourself bopping along to one of her songs that was on the radio and were hooked, owing all of her albums and having them on regularly.

Enter Sandman to All of the Girls you Loved Before was quite the contrast, but you loved it.Walking down the halls to your locker, Lover was playing in your ears.

People who passed you wouldn’t think that, ripped tights, a skirt that went just above your knees, dark top with long flowing sleeves - bat wings Eddie liked to call them.

Fingers and neck decorated in mismatching jewels, huge boots, a corset around your waist and eye liner that took longer than you’d care to admit. Love Story didn’t really look like a song that’d be your favourite.

Arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing you softly. Pulling out an earbud you spoke, “Edward.”

“Hello Sweetheart.”

“What can I do for you?”

“Milkshakes?”

“You paying?”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Sipping on your strawberry shake you chuckled at Eddie, leaning over the table you wiped whipped cream off his nose. “Thank you,” he blushed.

“Don’t mention it Rockstar.”

“Sooo,” he said.

“Hm?”

“I may or may not have gotten two tickets to see one of the best bands of all time, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with?”

“Oh my god One Direction have reunited?” You laughed, “Shut up. Will you come with me?”

“I mean I guess I could free up some time for you,” you smirked, taking another sip of your shake.

“Cool.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Thank you for the milkshake.”

“Anytime Sweetheart, I’ll text you the details of the concert and stuff.”

“Please do. I’ll see you later,” Leaning over and kissing his cheek, cherry red stain being left on his skin.

Heading up to your room, neither of your parents were home yet. Throwing your bag down you put a record on, Taylor.

Humming to yourself as you undid your boots, you decided to start on some homework. Turning up the music and tuning everything out for a while.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Stood in front of your mirror, you began wiping your makeup from your face, eventually singing along. “I remember when we broke up,” you sang softly, humming mainly.

Sliding off your rings and necklaces, your hair being pulled out of your face, comfortable for the night. God how did this woman make these songs so catchy? What was in them?

You couldn’t help yourself, “I used to think we were forever ever …” You put your books away, cleaning your desk, “We are never ever ever getting back together!”

Dancing around your room, you laughed as you spun around your room. These songs just made you so happy, “We are never ever ever ever getting back together!”

“Okay I get the message,” a voice laughed.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” you screamed.

“Wow chill it’s me.” Eddie.

Storming over to your record player you turned it down, Stay Stay Stay playing quietly in the background. “What the fuck are you doing here? How’d you get in?” you shouted.

“Window. Came to bring this back, wasn’t expecting a concert.”

“Oh fuck off Edward,” you huffed, taking a ring out of his hand. Turning away from him and putting it with your others.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I um didn’t know you liked this music.”

“Well I do, got an issue?”

“No. Just … do you actually like metal or was that just umm …”

“I like both okay? Sometimes I just want to feel like a happy, silly teenage girl. Her music helps me do that, or if I need to cry, or fall in love or anything really. I love metal, I didn’t lie!”

“Okay. I believe you. She’s cool.”

“You think?”

“Well you like her, so she must be.”

“Shut up,” you smiled.

“I’m serious. Teach me the way of Taylor Swift,” he grinned, dropping on your bed.

“Well thats 10 albums, and then there’s Taylor’s versions.”

“God you’re a proper little nerd.”

“Says the one who loves D&D,” you smacked him lightly.

“I’m not saying she’s bad! I like that one umm … Enchanted?”

“Yes! It’s her newest re-release, god I love that album and 1989s out soon as well.”

“Slow down babe, you’re losing me.”

“Sorry, so um Enchanted?” you asked, standing up, pulling the vinyl out of its case, replacing it on the record player. The song played softly. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” you smiled, turning back to Eddie. “Thank you for bringing my ring back, where was it?”

“My van, must have fallen off.”

“Or you stole it.”

“Me?” You nodded.

“Don’t think it’d fit Sweetheart.” The chorus played, and Eddie began to hum along, standing to be in front of you. “I like this other side of you.”

“Thought you’d make fun of me.”

“I’d never. I like all parts of you, this might be my new favourite, maybe we can see her concert.”

You snorted, “You willing to sell a couple organs?”

“For you, I do anything.” You smiled up at him softly, he nudged your nose with his.

“As Taylor said, I was Enchanted to meet you,” he smiled, leaning down to press his lips to yours.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N : This was so fun to do! I just jammed out to Taylor the whole time and it was great. Thank you so much for this request I hope you enjoyed it 🤍

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

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tapesfrom1980 · 1 year

Note

can u do dating sean headcanons? and if u could keep it gender neutral-ish i would appreciate thank u <33

dating sean diaz would include..

IVE NEVER GOTTEN AN ASK/REQUEST THIS IS SO EXCITING YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME THANK YOU ENJOY <33333

-either frenemies to lovers or he just thought you were hot and you rejected him multiple times till you gave in a longgg time later and he never gave up <3

-definitely a bestfriends type of relationship, he’s very comfortable with you and he knows he can make jokes with you without worrying about hurting you

-he’s lowkey awkward at first just because he hasn’t really had real?? experience with relationships before but he’s so excited to finally have you he goes all out if he can

-he’ll get you concert tickets for one of your favorite artists and be like “just because I love you 😘”

-sometimes it’ll be estebans money too and if he gets caught he’ll yell at sean but make sure to say “it’s not your fault though y/n you did nothing wrong” and go back to scolding

-he didn’t know when to drop the L bomb since he’s never felt that way with someone and didn’t know when it was the right time to say it

-he eventually said it mid-argument and there was a lot of making out after that

-getting sketches of yourself that he drew basically everyday

-he draws you at the most random times, bummy looking or not

-his favorite is the one he did while you danced around his room to your favorite song

-he always draws you as an absolute angel and has some hung up

-even just in his school notebooks his doodling always goes to your face so a lot of his homework or quizzes have your face in some corner with little hearts around it

-daniel tries drawing you too, and you take some home with you even if it’s just you with a deformed blue face and wonky yellow eyes

-being ABSOLUTE besties with daniel

-sean tries to act like he hates sharing your attention but you know he likes that you love daniel as much as he does

-sometimes you’ll come early to the diaz house just to hang out with daniel

-“y/n? how long have you been here why didn’t you wake me up?”

-“daniel called me to help him with his new batman lego set”

-“…”

-he sometimes joins in your guys’s dates and sean tries kicking him out everytime

-being super close with esteban too

-he’s happy sean found someone who’s good for him and pushes him to be a better person

-gossiping with him while he’s working on a car

-usually it’s when sean is busy or you’re just annoyed at him

-“oh y/n, whatd he do now?”

-sometimes even while sean is in the room

-“i’m still here guys”

-weekly movie dates!!! drive ins or sneaking into the theater (sean says 15 bucks just to watch a movie is outrageous)

-getting him to listen to your favorite artists/bands

-sometimes he’ll pretend to hate it if it’s a genre he’d never listen to but you can see him trying not to drum his fingers or bop his head

-dragging him to every school event

-matching halloween costumes always

-if he wants to do a character you don’t know you’ll still match him for his sake vice versa

-if you have a pet he’ll probably try his hardest to befriend it even if he’s lowkey scared at first

-he’ll get jokingly jealous about you and your pet saying how you don’t give HIM that much love

-speaking of jealousy, he’s def the jealous type

-he’ll try to hide it but then say something petty to you or the person making him jealous

-“that wasn’t even that funny 😐”

-“you guys should go to that restaurant you’ve been talking so much about together”

-“sean 😒”

-lyla!!!!

-as both of sean’s bestfriends you guys are really close too

-“he will never get between us y/n.✊”

-lyla joking about how she has to third wheel even tho she’s absolutely happy you guys are together

-sean and lyla fighting over you

-“i don’t care if you and y/n are dating. i’m still the favorite. right y/n??? right??”

-making sure to include her at some point on valentine’s day too even if she pretends to hate it

-arcade dates & picnics <3

-sleepovers!!!!!!! always so much fun

-sometimes you’ll just lay in bed listening to music and it’s one of the most special moments together

WITH STORY PLOT

-you were with them minutes before that had happened, but you went to go pick up your guys’s food from the deli near the house

-you came back to esteban on the floor, the crashed cop car, and no sean and daniel

-you were so in shock nothing came out your mouth for a while

-once your brain processed what was happening you yelled around the house for sean and daniel

-you screamed and screamed till the other cops got to the scene

-even then you kept calling for the boys

-you didn’t know what to do with yourself you’d just seen your boyfriends dad dead on the floor and your boyfriend and his little brother missing

-when the cops explained what happened you were so disgusted about how the situation was handled and how sean had been blamed

-you knew sean and daniel, you knew sean and you knew the story was mixed up and the diaz boys were blamed obviously due to racism

-you never gave up looking for them, you went into the woods and everything

-you were looked down upon, even by your own parents, because it looked like you were supporting a “criminal”

-when sean finally called, you were so happy you bawled the entire time

-you were so so relieved he and daniel were alright

-you understood why he couldn’t tell you where they were or why he wouldn’t be able to call again

-he also didn’t tell you their location because he knew you’d try coming to them, he really did know your love for them both

-with one last goodbye and i love you, that was the last time you talked to sean

if you ran with them

-sean 100% didn’t want you to come with them

-you were in the house when it happened but you rushed outside, but the cop didn’t see you

-he knew that if you went with them you couldn’t come back without being taken in to custody as you were now an accomplice to them, things would never be the same and he couldn’t ask you to do that for him and daniel

-“y/n please, stay here” he was already in tears and his voice was cracking but you refused

-instead, you took your bag with more supplies and stuff that was already in visible view that you knew would be helpful for whatever situation you guys were going to be in

-“i don’t know why you’d think i’d leave you sean”

-you also knew even with the rush of adrenaline you were having what you were giving up

-you were giving up your family, your friends, and a normal life

-but you had been with sean for a long time and you knew you were never gonna leave him to fend for him and daniel in who knows where

-you never complained, even with the bad circumstances

-you helped the boys ration supplies and find shelter in the woods

-sean felt so much better with you there, so did daniel

-they both felt guilty for being glad you came with them

-they knew you left a whole life behind and felt like they took that from you, even if it wasn’t their fault

-but it was your choice and you didn’t regret it even in the worst moments, and you always reminded them both of that, no matter what the ending was

#life is strange #life is strange 2 #sean diaz #sean diaz x reader #daniel diaz #esteban diaz #sean diaz imagine #dating sean diaz would include #tapesfrom1980

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munsonslove · 2 years

Note

Hello love! Just wanted to say that you're one of my favourite writers on here. The way you write is so comforting and so easy to visualise as I'm reading! Sorry for anon, I'm a grown woman with a child who is down bad for a fictional character and my friends don't understand 🥴

I'd love to see your take on reader having an awful day and needing Eddie to get her into subspace- don't mind if mixed with daddy kink, too!

Please keep writing because I'm literally obsessed ❤

Feel Better

(18+ only)

a/n: no worries anon, i’m a grown woman who’s down bad for a fictional character as well lmao (though i don’t have a child, but still) anyways i hope you like it!!! this isn’t full rated R it’s just the lead up to it, but it’s still really cute i think~ also happy halloween everyone!

summary: A bad day leads to some TLC from your favorite person.

wordcount: 1.1k, short n sweet <3

tags/warnings: fem!sub!reader, softdom!Eddie, fluff, smut (kinda), established relationship, daddy kink, praise kink, no use of y/n

Today was absolutely awful. Eddie didn’t sleep over last night, so you woke up at the crack of dawn alone in a cold bed. Then, your coffee maker crapped out on you, so you had to leave without any caffeine to help fend off the weariness still looming over you. It was raining and you never replaced your umbrella that got a huge tear in the nylon last month- and though Eddie did constantly offer to drive you when you first landed this job, you felt bad forcing him to wake up so early when he often worked late nights- so you walked the ten minute walk to the store every morning. This, of course, resulted in you showing up to work soaking wet. To make matters worse, despite only barely being past Halloween, the suburban moms of Hawkins have decided the retail hell that is the holiday season has officially arrived.

When you finally dragged your aching feet past the threshold of your tiny home, your ears picked up the sound of pots and pans clanging and running water. Eddie’s van was parked in your driveway, and he knows that he’s welcome to let himself in any time he wants- that’s why you gave him a spare key in the first place. You pass through the archway to the kitchen to find your boyfriend doing the dishes while bopping his head along to the beat of imaginary music. He doesn’t notice your arrival over the sound of the sink, so you take a moment to just appreciate the view. There’s two plates of your favorite lunch on the table, beside a fresh brewed cup from your newly fixed coffee machine. Already you feel immensely better, but a home cooked meal isn’t what you need right now.

You clear your throat to get his attention, and it works like a charm. Eddie’s head whips around to reveal a wide grin on his face, but his expression drops when his eyes find yours. You can only imagine how you look right now, with your hair and clothes dried after being rained on. He can definitely see the remnants of your terrible day on you. Turning off the faucet, he walks over to you without a word and pulls you into a tight embrace.

“You wanna talk about it, sweetheart?” he asks, his voice a quiet whisper filled with care.

“No,” you answer immediately, “I just want you to help me forget.”

He understands what you’re asking from him without you needing to explain, so he takes your hand in his and leads you to the bedroom. After closing the door behind you, he dims the lights and takes you by your waist to sit you down on the side of the bed. You try to look up at him as he stands towering above you, but it’s difficult to keep your eyes open when he places his hands on either side of your cheeks and starts softly stroking your hairline. He does this motion for a little while, until you’re unsure how long he’s been just delicately touching you. The repetition of these gentle caresses combined with the sound of both of your quiet breathing syncing up is enough to have you creeping closer to that empty-brained daze that you’ve been craving all day.

Eddie helps you pull off your shoes, along with your work uniform and underwear, crumpling up the clothes into balls and chucking them into the hamper across the room. Then, he calmly instructs you to lay down on your stomach. You do as you’re told without protest, and he hums approvingly as he crawls over your naked body. With his weight grounding you to the plush mattress, all you can focus on is the feeling of him pressing into every inch of your body. There’s such little light present, and the room is silent except for rhythmic inhaling and exhaling, so your concentration is fighting a losing battle. Your mind is slowly melting into mush as Eddie’s lips barely graze your shoulder blades.

“Let go, sweetheart,” he whispers, his warm breath tickling your skin. “Fall into it, I’ve got you.”

You want to respond. Tell him that you’re trying, you’re almost there- but you’re so close that you’ve already become nonverbal. Talking got really difficult when you were in this headspace, so your lack of response told Eddie everything he needed to know. He continued pressing short kisses to your back as he rubbed up and down your arms lovingly.

“Just listen to my voice, darling,” he ordered, a little louder but still monotone so as to not distract you and pull you out of the moment. “You don’t have to worry about anything else today. Daddy’s got it all covered from now on, just turn that pretty little head off.”

Before you know it, you’re nose-diving deep into that all too familiar trance-like state you often find yourself in when your boyfriend takes control. It’s euphoric, like you’re floating above the bed despite being pinned down. The sound of Eddie’s hands sliding against the skin of your arms, torso, and legs suddenly becomes so amplified that it’s like it’s happening right next to your ear. There was nothing in your system, no smoke in your lungs or alcohol in your blood, but you felt far from sober. Your face must have portrayed the dizziness you felt, perhaps via glazed over eyes or a slack jaw, because the man on top of you stopped his massage to tilt your head to the side.

“There she is,” he rasped, “You feel better?”

A small set of giggles unconsciously escaped you, answering what you couldn’t find with words. Vibrations rattled your relaxed body as Eddie returned the laughter, and you almost didn’t even notice the heaviness being lifted off of you when he sat up and positioned himself between your spread legs.

“What’s so funny, pretty girl?” he asks between laughs, splaying his fingers on your thighs just below the fat of your butt. “I got you all giggly, don’t I?”

There’s more shuffling, but your mind is too far away to fully comprehend what’s going on around you. You think Eddie stands up, then the bed dips when he gets back on. He moves you like you’re a rag doll, positioning you onto your hands and knees for him. You feel his cock sliding along your slit and brushing against your clit as he tenderly strokes your back.

“Okay, sweetheart,” he whispers into the darkness of the room, though the tremors that reverberate in your bones would lead one to believe he bellowed it. “Daddy’s gonna make his good girl forget about everything.”

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things smut #stranger things fanfic

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spacefinch · 1 year

Text

Pokemon Incorrect Quotes: Unova Edition

Hugh: *handing out smiley balloons* I have no soul. Have a nice day!

Colress: I don't have one either.

Drayden: Let me see what you have!

Iris: A knife!

Drayden: NO!

Cilan: Fun fact! Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.

Iris: Star fruit?

Cilan: ♥️ So close! That is a shape ♥️

Colresss: Welcome to physics!

*science project explodes*

*screaming*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE 🎶

Hilbert: *banging pots and pans*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, WILL YOU TELL US THAT YOU’RE OKAY 🎶

Teacher: Uh, Cheren, can you read number 23 for the class, please?

Cheren: No, I cannot. What up, I’m Cheren, I’m 19, and I never fricking learned how to read.

Chili: Hi, welcome to Chili's.

Elesa: Hey, I’m lesbian.

Emmet: I thought you were Unovan.

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Alder: Hell yeah!

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Hilbert: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Hilda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Rosa: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: It is February, you ANIMALS

Nate: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Emmet: "Average person eats 8 spiders a year" factoid, actually statistical error. Average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Chili: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Cress: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Ingo: Perhaps it is the context in which words are spoken that gives them the power of meaning. *yelling* I LOVE YOU, JOLTIK!

Emmet, banging on pots and pans: I DON'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF YOU! Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!

Hilda: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, Joltiks, Dr. Pepper…

Cheren: Joltiks?

Hilda: Joltiks it is, then.

Cheren: Wait, that’s not what I meant—

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of Joltiks.

Ingo and Emmet: *in the middle of an intense Pokemon battle*

Hilbert: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?

After said battle:

Hilbert, pointing at the losing Pokemon: He need some milk

Ingo: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

Rosa (pointing at a flock of Swanna): Look at all those chickens!

Ingo: *filming in selfie mode*

Emmet: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!

Colress (grinning): I'M GOING TO JAIL!

Cheren: Tumblr is just talking to yourself but with an audience.

Cilan: That’s called a soliloquy.

Cheren: Found the theater kid. Get em boys.

Iris: Hey OP, how do we know you’re not a theater kid?

Cheren: I’M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR, YOUR HONOR

Cilan: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Chili: Fork

Cilan: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Cress: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Cilan: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Cilan: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Cress: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Chili: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Cheren: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Ingo: I went to the store and bought Quick Oats. The next day, my brother came back with Instant Oats. I will not be humiliated like this. I must now find an even sooner oat.

Hilbert: I hope nobody is evil

Ghetsis: >:)

Hilbert: Oh no

Elesa: Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

Volkner: Electrons

Elesa: I should kick your ass.

Cilan: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Cheren: People who say ‘oof’ and people who say ‘bruh’ contribute nothing to a conversation.

Nate: OOF

Hilbert: BRUH

Ingo: Early to bed, early to rise, Burger King burger with Burger King fries

Skyla: Later to rise, later to bed, Burger King burger on Burger King bread

Elesa: Eat at morning, eat at night, I participate in a Burger King fight

Emmet: I slap my knees, I slap my thighs, tonight is the night that Burger King dies

Cheren: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them.

Cilan: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Bianca: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you two.

Nate: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Roxie: *playing guitar*

*suspicious crashing noises in distance*

Roxie: *plays guitar louder*

Hilbert: Big mood.

Emmet: What does that mean?

Hilbert: Well… it means, me too, I guess.

*the next day*

Ingo: I'm worried about Team Rocket using our subway system.

Emmet: Big mood, brother. Big mood.

Ingo: HILBERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Hilbert: Z is just a sideways N

N: Please stop it

Hilbert: Zo

Elesa: I can't find my earbuds and Target is closed. This is a nightmare.

Burgh: Put a Durant in each ear and they will sing to you.

Elesa: Not a half-bad idea actually.

Emmet: I go to Home Depot

Emmet: I eat the tools

Ingo: Stop it

Emmet: Crumch

Roxie: Is it cheating to teach Toxic to every member of my Pokemon team?

Elesa: Not at all, I'd love to hear them sing it.

Clay: None of y’all know what propaganda actually is, do you?

Hilda: It’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

Elesa: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?

Ingo: Sad

Burgh: Gay

Skyla: Sexy

Emmet: Goblin

Ingo: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds

Emmet: My arms are strong, I would catch you and hug you

Clay: Children, this is dirt.

Nate, Rosa, and Hugh: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Hilda: Shoutout to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in a while but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car.

Cheren: Yesterday a book fell off my desk but instead of picking it up, I just looked at it for a second and said “same”

Hilbert: LOL same

Bianca: Why are we like this?

Cheren: Is there anything better than pussy?

Cheren: Yes, a really good book

Cheren: *plays the keyboard*

Hilbert: Who’s the hottest Uber driver you’ve ever had?

N: Ummm… I never went to Oovoo Javer.

*HAS NEVER WENT TO OOVOO JAVER*

Looker: Where’s the best place to buy fireworks?

Hugh: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Looker: Where are your parents? Kid’s sketchy, back to you.

Emmet: *screams into jar and then screws on the lid* Everything’s fine.

Cilan: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Cilan: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Nate: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but I didn’t own any pots.

Cilan: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Classroom: *silence*

One of the students: turgle turgle

Cheren: WHO TURGLED

Hilda: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of killing him would be that I get pushed way less—

Cheren: I get that you're angry, but killing Hilbert is not the solution.

Hilbert: When will Ted himself finally show up to the talk?

Bianca: The final boss

Cheren: Guys, you do realize that TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, right?

Hilda: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer.

Cheren: I love the word methinks. It’s accurate. Me does think. Thinketh me do.

Hilbert: Methinks therefore me am.

Nate (bragging.): I know every digit of pi.

Nate: I don't know what order.

N: He doesn't know what order.

"Hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab Rattata, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk, and take care of yourself!"

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS WAKE UP”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS THE REACTOR”

(during a game of Uno)

Ingo: Brother, please, no.

Emmet: I’m sorry. I have to.

Ingo: Please, I’m begging you, after all we’ve been through?

Emmet: I’m sorry. [places a draw 4 card] Uno.

N: Any questions before I move on?

Porygon: *garbled electric noises*

N: ... Great. I really understood that well.

Elesa: This is camp.

Ingo: What does camp mean?

Emmet: Like when something is so yass and slay

Emmet: Do you think Joltiks take fall damage?

Ingo: Emmet, what the heck?

*at Drayden’s home in Opelucid City*

The Pokemon streaming service profiles read as follows:

Drayden: “Person who pays for the account”

Iris: “Granddaughter (Free pass)”

Ingo: “Parasite 1”

Emmet: “Parasite 2”

Cheren: How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology and not grave robbing?

Lenora: As an archaeologist, I find this a VERY AWKWARD QUESTION.

Cheren: Answer the question, grave robber.

Elesa: Carpe diem— seize the day

Skyla: Carpe noctem— seize the night

Emmet: Carpe natem— seize the ass

Ingo: Seriously, if you guys don't stop reblogging this, I am going to carpe someone's neck and break it.

Grimsley: Carpe collum— seize the neck

Cheren: Not all math puns are bad.

Cheren: Just sum of them.

Roxie: There is so much panic right now and not nearly enough disco.

Elesa: Where do bad rainbows go?

Skyla: …

Elesa: Prism. It's a light sentence.

Skyla: *groan*

Hilda: If you don't know the difference between "their," "they're", and "there", your a idiot.

Cheren: Well, this is awkward.

Hilbert: I was born ready!

Hilda: You were born in Nuvema Town.

Hilbert: When I was your age… (tells Hilda something he did a few minutes ago)

Nate: A theif

Cheren: Thief?

Nate: Theif

Cheren: I before e, except after c

Nate: Thceif

Cheren: No

Hilda: (singing) A potato flew around my room before you came—

Hilda, Hilbert, Cheren, and Bianca: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Hilbert: I'm nuts about these nuts. But you know what I'm also nuts about? My close good friends!

Hilbert: *gestures to Hilda, Cheren, Bianca, Nata, Rosa, Hugh, and N* My close good friends!

Ghetsis: Remember one time I liked you?

N: No.

Ghetsis: Good, because IT NEVER HAPPENED! *evil laugh*

Cilan: Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew?

72 notes · View notes