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satanachia666 · 1 year

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Hot take: Taking medication for mental health reasons is NOT the enemy of spirituality. Medication doesn’t inherently dull/reduce your intuition, psychic abilities, or spiritual gifts. In fact, in my experience, taking medication is an important form of psychic self-defense for many of us neurodivergent people. I find that when I take my medication, I’m more grounded, which helps me function better in both a worldly way and spiritual sense. Medication also makes it easier for me to use discernment and apply the knowledge I’ve gained as a worldly and spiritual being to my life. Taking my medication regularly has contributed to a lot of the progress I’ve made in my life, health, and spirituality. I’m far from perfect and still have my struggles, but I’d be far worse off without my meds.

I have no doubt that if applied without a bigoted lens, medical science, psychology, medicine, and medication count as healing magics in their own right. While it’s possible to experience problems with any of the aforementioned things, I’ve found that they’ve helped me WAY more often than they haven’t. It’s true that the medical world has a lot of catching up to do in terms of social issues, seeking unbiased research, and giving people the help and care they need. Nonetheless, I still got the COVID vaccine because the science behind it is MUCH more solid than any other available option out there, and I’m happy with my decision. Getting vaccinated didn’t reduce my spiritual awareness or intuition, nor did it change my DNA.

Any spiritual fear-mongering related to COVID vaccines is anti-science and harmful because it’s not only fake, but it actively discourages people from getting vaccinated for COVID or even just the flu shot. When less people get vaccinated, sickness is more likely to spread, especially to people with compromised immune systems. This is all-around Not Good. If this sounds like you, then at some point, you need to ask yourself why you need to do *this specific thing* (not getting vaccinated) to protect/cultivate your spirituality, when there are plenty of other ways to do exactly that without endangering other people in the process.

It’s not your fault if you can’t get vaccinated due to health reasons. I realize it’s not possible for everyone. But many people who aren’t getting vaxxed are not in that situation and are deliberately refusing to get vaxxed, including for spiritual reasons.

If you’re actively not getting vaxxed because you think not getting the vaccine will benefit you spiritually, you’re wrong. If you think not getting vaccinated somehow benefits the world, you’re wrong. If you don’t understand how refusing to get vaccinated when you can/should is bad for humanity (especially for people with chronic conditions and disabilities), I definitely question where your spiritual journey is taking you and what you’re getting out of it. After all, part of developing spiritual awareness is realizing how your actions impact other people.

I encourage all of you to question all anti-science rhetoric and conspiracy theories. While I don’t think the people who fall for these ideas are necessarily bad people, I think they’re misinformed to their own detriment. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Plus, I’ve learned that it’s much easier for ill-meaning entities and malevolent spirits to attack and manipulate people who aren’t taking psych meds when they actually need them. I’ve experienced this myself and I’ve seen it happen multiple times since then. Basically every time a person doubled down on not taking their meds, the more they were attacked and harassed by bad spirits and entities with ill will. Taking the right psych meds makes it harder for spirits and entities to aggress you. Don’t say you’ll skip meds in favor of psychic protection techniques when medication is already an important part of protecting yourself mentally.

If you’re someone who needs psych meds, then the stability you get from taking them will benefit your life, health, and spirituality way more than not taking them ever will. Getting vaccinated won’t change your DNA or hinder your psychic growth, but there’s a good chance it could either prevent you from contracting COVID or decrease the severity of your case. That alone makes it worth it. There are plenty of others ways to cultivate your spirituality and psychic abilities that don’t involve risking your life and other people’s lives.

Question anyone who tells you to forgo any kind of medical treatment or psych treatment you need in the name of their spirituality. They have their own agenda they want you to conform to. Cults often encourage people to refuse medical and psychiatric treatments in favor of prayer and other practices that aren’t science-supported treatments on their own. Science is its own form of magic and embracing it won’t hinder your spirituality.

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nepenthendline · 3 years

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A Characterisation/Writing Guide - Autism and ADHD

Hi everyone! This post is going to be a guide on how to accurately write characters with Autism and ADHD. I have been so many works where Autism and ADHD have been terribly written - using so many stereotypes and just nonsense that has nothing to do with neurodivergences, so I hope this helps educate writers and give them more confidence to write such characters.

For reference, I have Autism and ADHD, as well as many friends with either, therefore this information is coming directly from a neurodivergent.

This guide will be split into three parts: characterisation in both Autism and ADHD, Autism chracterisation and ADHD characterisation. This being because Autism and ADHD, while two different disorders, do have some overlaps.

TERMS:

Neurodivergent - describes those differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal

Neurotypical - describes those who are considered normal and do not differ in mental or neurological function

NOTE - Not everyone is the same. Everyone is different and will act and feel in different ways, this is simply an overview of how Autism and ADHD typically can be characterised

MUTUAL CHARACTERISATION OF AUTISM AND ADHD:

As mentioned before, both Autism and ADHD do have overlapping traits that can make them look similar at times, although it is important to remember they are two very different disorders.

Autism and ADHD are NOT mental illnesses or learning disabilities. They are neurological disorders that people are born with, and cannot be treated or cured. Neurodivergents can learn techniques to help manage their difficulties, however. It is important to note that while these are not mental illnesses, it is very common for neurodivergents to have mental illnesses (particularly anxiety or depression) or struggle with learning as a result of their difficulties.

MASKING:

Masking is a technique that neurodivergents develop in order to act or speak in a way that is ‘socially acceptable’ or neurotypical by observing and replicating neurotypicals in different situations. This includes subjects such as not stimming/keeping still, not saying particular things, following social cues, speaking with specific tones at specific times and so on.

Not every neurodivergent will mask but most do. Everyone does this to a different extent; some mask 24/7 to the point where you would barely be able to recognise any ‘abnormal’ traits, whereas others only mask in more serious or professional situations and let loose around friends or family. It is up to you as the writer to decide how your character will mask, however there tend to be some trends. For example, those with high-function Autism (especially girls) are much better maskers than low-functioning Autism (especially boys).

Masking is exhausting; it takes a lot of effort to, essentially, act as a completely different person for the entire day. This does not mean that neurodivergents are two-faced in any aspect however. Neurodivergents simply tweak their existing personalities to ‘fit in’ with the people or situation.

Masking in writing:

It is quite difficult to write masking as the person is essentially just acting like ‘normal’. However, there are some things you can include that help demonstrate masking:

Adapted stims* that are much smaller and undetectable than a person’s usual stims, such as fiddling with their fingers or edge of their sleeve, looking around often or slight movements such as swaying or playing with jewellery they are wearing

Speaking more or less than usual and with much more changes in their pitch and tone

Slight cracks in a character’s masking, such as stimming when others aren’t looking, not holding eye-contact when speaking, face or tone falling flat at points

*Stims will be explained in the next section

STIMMING:

Stimming refers to self-stimulating, repetitive behaviours that are done to often calm a person down when in stress, or to show high levels of emotion such as happiness. Both neurodivergents and neurotypicals stim, however there are some difference.

The most common examples of stims are bouncing your leg when sitting in a chair, clicking your pen repeatedly or tapping on a table, which are things that most people have done at some point. The difference is that neurodivergents have a lot less control over their stims, and they tend to be much ‘bigger’, louder, distracting or harmful. It is also much more difficult for a neurodivergent to stop or ‘hold in’ their stims, causing more stress and agitation. Some people have small stims like fiddling with their hands, others have much bigger stims like waving their arms around, and some have harmful stims such as scratching or banging their head against a wall.

Stimming in writing:

If you are ever asked to write about how a character would help someone else/a reader with their stimming, please never ever write about the character stopping the other person/reader. This is extremely harmful for the stimming character and projects a view that stimming is bad or ‘naughty’, and many people have faced trauma over being forced to stopped stimming as it is seen as disrespectful or distracting. Stimming is often one of the only ways neurodivergents can clearly express their emotions. If you stop a stim, the person will simply stim in another way. Instead, try these ways:

Stim toys that the character can use, these are often small and discrete, and can allow the character to stim without harmful, loud or large movements

Distracting the character with something else, possibly an activity, something to hold, or audio/visual distractions

Reassure the character that these stims are ok and they are safe to do around other characters

Take notice of the situation the character is in, why are they stimming? Are they anxious? Are they excited? It is better to prevent the situation in the case of stress rather than try and stop the person from stimming, and allow the character to stim when feeling happy

In romantic situations, allowing the character to stim with their partner shows high levels of trust and acceptance, and it is also comforting for the stimming character to often use aspects of their partner to stim, such as playing with their partner’s fingers or hair

Exercise is a great way of helping those who stim often to release pent up energy

Stimmers can trigger other stimmers, so if you have two stimmers in a room together, chances are they will stim together, getting louder and bigger than usual

SENSORY SENSITIVTY:

Both those with Autism and/or ADHD tend to struggle with sensory sensitivity. This describes how people are easily affected by sensory input (sight, sound, taste, touch and smell). Most cases of sensory sensitivity end in distress, fear, panic and overload, however there are some people who feel comforted by high levels of sensory input. When people deal with too much sensory input, they often go into a ‘meltdown’. This is different for everyone, but often includes irritability, panic, shutting themselves off from others, extreme stimming and a feeling of being severely overwhelmed. Some people cannot speak at all during these episodes. while others may shout or make noises. They are often mistaken for tantrums, bad behaviour or just being grumpy. Young people tend to have much more active meltdowns, such as shouting, stimming, running off etc, however older people (especially girls) then to be more quiet, shut off and unable to continue speaking or doing tasks. That being said, everyone is different and anyone can have a different meltdown.

Sensory sensitivity in writing:

The best way to describe sensory sensitivity in writing is relating it to pain or panic. Often those with low tolerance to sensory input describe loud noises, for example, as physical pain in their head, or certain materials as making them feel faint or nauseous.

Sensory sensitivity relates to any sense, so some people may be terrified of certain noises, feel panicked by certain smells or feelings or feel sick/vomit from certain tastes - please understand the severity of this for some people

Neurodivergents often find techniques to help them with this, such as wearing noise cancelling headphones or playing music or audio to distract them

The best way to help someone during a meltdown is to help them out of the situation and leave them to decompress. This might include letting them sit in a dark room for a while, laying in silence or touching an item/smelling something that brings them comfort

Describing a meltdown for a character can often be similarly written like a panic attack, and often meltdowns can lead to panic attacks for some people, such as an increased heart rate, sweating, crying, hyperventilating/heavy breathing etc.

Struggling to write sensory overload? Try and think how you would feel if you had 30 different voices screaming at you at once, with bright lights and super itchy clothing. Really panicked, scared and overwhelmed right?

Those who are sensitive to sensory input often hear/feel/smell/see things much louder/easier/more extreme than others, so while something may be quiet to one person, it seems really loud to another

HABITS AND COMPLUSIONS

Neurodivergences come with a lot of habits and compulsions, somewhat similar to traits of OCD. These are things such as having to have particular routines, having to carry certain items with them at all times (mine are my BTS water bottle and earphones lol). Without fulfilling these habits, compulsions and comfort items, a person can become extremely stressed, panicked and overloaded.

Habits and compulsions in writing:

Writing these can go from very subtle to extreme, it could be that someone has to get ready in the morning in a particular order, eat their food in a certain way/order or follow a particular route to get somewhere

The odd thing is that neurodivergents are actually pretty bad at developing habits, a neurodivergent could do the same thing over and over every single day, but completely forget to do it one day and never do it again

When writing for characters, some characters may be able to mask their distress when their habits/compulsions are not fulfilled, however others can not do so at all, but either way this sends the character into feeling of panic and distress

A character may develop certain habits/compulsions for different reasons, it could be from experiences, completely random, comforting senses or familiarity and fear

For example when walking into my nearest town I have to walk a very specific route on a specific side of the road or I freak out, this is because it’s what I’m used to and I struggle to deal with change

Speaking of change, a character can be written as anxious or irritated when plans are changed

SPECIAL INTERESTS/HYPER-FIXATIONS:

Probably my favourite topic - neurodivergents often develop special interests and hyper-fixations. These relate to specific subjects or activities that a person will learn about or engage in with extreme focus and dedication. Some common examples are trains and butterflies, where a person will learn and memorise every type of train, or every type of butterfly to exist, and how different trains work or the life cycles of butterflies. This can be of any topic though, as a child my personal special interest was Ancient Egypt and I spent all of my free time learning about the history. As I’ve gotten older, this has changed and my hyper-fixations have been mostly BTS and Haikyuu (with some short ones in between).

Special interests/hyper-fixations in writing:

Info-dumping! Characters with special interests can often be written with moments of info-dumping, where they will talk about their special interest for a long period of time to someone else. They are often very excited, talk quickly and possibly even seem a little frantic when trying to explain their interest - this is something they have little control over and tend to talk for too long or at inappropriate times

Stereotypes are often written in special interests, particularly the example I gave about trains - not every neurodivergent likes trains, please be creative when thinking about what special interest your character may have, if they have one at all

A character may have one long-standing special interest that they’ve been learning about for many years, or they can flutter between multiple hyper-fixations in the span of a few days

Hyper-fiaxtions can affect a character in ways such as forgetting to eat or sleep, forgetting to do other commitments or becoming extremely upset, stressed or unmotivated when that interest is no longer doable (such as if a TV series ends)

Some characters may be embarrassed about their interests, whereas others will happily info-dump with no concerns

FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Both Autism and ADHD can cause difficulties in making and keeping friendships or relationships. This is often due to struggles in communication, forgetting to speak to people, getting bored of social interaction, getting overwhelmed and feeling too ‘different’ from everyone else. Some people, however, can make friends every easily, particularly more extroverted and confident types. Autistics in particular tend to have small groups of friends that they feel truly comfortable with, and may struggle to understand why a person needs other friends/ a large group. This can lead to feelings of ejectment or jealously. A neurodivergent will often struggle to know how a person feels about them without being directly told, and will need frequent reassurance that this feeling is continuous.

AUTISM CHARACTERISATIONS

Talking too much or very little - about 40% of people with Autism are mute, meaning they cannot speak. Characters could also be selectively mute, meaning they can only speak in situations they are comfortable with, or certain people

Autism is a communication disorder, majorly affecting a person’s ability to communicate and understand socialisation. Here is how to characterise Autism:

NOTE - I have used functioning labels here as, personally, I prefer to use them and is more often used where I am from, however some people prefer not to, please keep this in mind

Speaking out of turn - this is either because they do not understand the social cue of waiting until someone else has finished to talk, or because they will forget what is on their mind if they don’t say it immediately

Taking jokes or words literally - this can cause character’s to become distressed when they do not understand a joke, or end up doing a task that was not meant to happen because they took a conversation literally. This also include having difficulty understanding figures of speech such as ‘it’s raining cats and dogs’

Having difficulty understanding the rules of social interactions - this covers a range of things, from struggling to know what to say when speaking to a cashier at a store, to not knowing what to say in certain situations. An example of this is if someone said ‘hi, my name is ....”, the social cue is to respond with ‘hello, it’s nice to meet you, my name is ...”, however those with Autism tend not to understand this and may reply with something else. In my experiences, I often panic and say ‘thank you’ instead, despite this not being the ‘correct’ reply

Expressing the wrong emotions - Autism makes it very difficult to understand emotions, either from others or expressing them yourself. While others immediately know a smile means someone is happy, this is not something that is easy to understand in Autism. An autistic person may laugh or smile during negative situations, or look upset or mad in happy situations as they are either unaware of how they are carrying their body language, or simply do not know what body language fits with what emotion

Difficulty understanding emotion of others - whether it be verbal or non-verbal, it can be very difficult for those with Autism to understand what others are feeling and can often jump to the wrong conclusions

Using the wrong tone of voice or having a ‘robotic’ tone - For the same reason as the last point, those with Autism tend to either sound robotic at times, or use the wrong tone in the wrong situations, such as sounding angry when they are not, however they are often unaware of this when it happens. This also means they tend to be more blunt and literal in their own speech

Not understanding hints - those with Autism often need to be spoken to very directly as they struggle to understand hints or ‘read between the lines’. This could be anywhere from not understanding hints of romantic feelings, to someone mentioning that the trash is getting too full (as a hint that it needs to be taken out)

Difficulty with focus and following lists - this is an overlap with ADHD however the reasoning is often different, autistic people are often perfectionists, so if you give them a list of things to remember, they will focus so hard on remembering the first thing correctly that they forget the rest. Difficulty to focus is often due to a lack of interest in the topic

Attention to detail and ‘all or nothing’ - Autistic people are great at paying attention to small details and often focus on that more than the big picture. They are also very ‘all or nothing’ with how they delegate their focus, if they are interested in something they will put their entire energy and focus into it until its perfect, if they aren’t interested? They probably wont do it at all, this often means that some Autistic people struggle academically because they don’t feel interested in the topics, and therefore have no motivation to do the work

Great at following rules and instructions - despite being bad at lists, Autistic people tend to be good at following rules, this is because they are often black and white, literal and easy to understand, they like structure!

Increased skills and abilities - those with autism are often more creative and intelligent in a wide variety of skills that neurotypicals, in fact to be diagnosed with high-functioning autism, you must have a higher-than-average IQ. Unfortunately the stereotype is that Autistics are dumb or stupid - this is not the case at all

Boys vs girls - everyone is different, however boys and girls tend to act very differently. Boys tend to be more extroverted and loud and particularly struggle with understanding emotions or talking in turn. Girls tend to be more introverted, quiet and can mask much better, but struggle more when knowing if it is acceptable to speak

No empathy? - this is what people often relate to Autism, however this is inaccurate. People with Autism can and do feel empathy, however it tends to be slightly different. For example, if a neurotypical told another neurotypical about a bad situation they went through, the other person would often reply with ‘I’m sorry that happened to you, I hope you feel better soon”. A neurodivergent, however, would often reply like this, “something similar happened to me once.....”. This often comes across rude to neurotypicals, however it is much easier for a neurodivergent to relate the person’s feeling to their own experiences, and share comfort by letting the person know they are not alone

Difficulty with eye contact - good body language often explains that eye contact is key, however this is extremely difficulty for neurodivergents

Forgetfulness - to be honest I don’t know why this is, autistics are just really forgetful. You need to repeatedly tell them to do something or they wont do it

Planning - autistics often need and enjoy planning their schedule. They find comfort in knowing exactly when, where and how things are happening and with who

Shyness and introverted? - many autistics will be shy, introverted and struggle with social anxiety, but this is not the case for everyone. A person can be autistic and be super confident, loud and extroverted - it is a stereotype that being autistic makes you shy and quiet

REMEMBER - AUTISM IS A SPECTRUM DISORDER MEANING PEOPLE CAN RANGE FROM MILD TO SEVERE TRAITS, NOT EVERYONE WILL HAVE EVERY SINGLE TRAIT

AUTISM STEREOTYPES:

Everyone likes trains

They are rude and blunt

They are stupid/unintelligent

They cannot understand rules

They cannot feel empathy

They are quiet and shy

They are disruptive

AD(H)D CHARACTERISATION

ADHD is a condition that affects the focus and attention of a person. Here’s how to characterise someone with ADHD:

Not everyone is hyperactive - firstly, the ‘hyperactive’ part of ADHD doesn’t often mean physically hyperactive, but a person can have ADD where they do not show hyperactive traits

Difficulty focusing - this is much more than just not being able to focus, there are many reasons as to why this is, including getting distracted easily (by external sources or their own thoughts). finding it difficult to understand social interactions, feeling overwhelmed

Hyperfocusing - on the flip side, ADHD can cause people to hyperfocus on certain things, where it takes all their time and energy and they forget to do other things such as eat or sleep

Difficulty with eye contact - good body language often explains that eye contact is key, however this is extremely difficulty for neurodivergents

Difficulties controlling emotions and mood swings - this is often comes out in anger and frustration. This can be for various reasons: they are frustrated that they cannot focus like others, a lack of motivation, get easily stressed and insecurity

Restlessness - this is often seen as being always ‘on the go’, they need to be busy at all times doing different activities. In writing this can be shown as excessive talking, fidgeting, getting bored easily or taking risks

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria - this is an emotional response to rejection or criticism which often looks like insecurity and anxiety. This could be real rejection, or perceived rejection, for example someone saying they are too busy to hang out may trigger an emotional response of rejection, low mood and anxiety in someone with ADHD. This can also lead to anger or panic, and causes people to become ‘people pleasers’ or not try at all

Poor organisation - the opposite of Autism where those with ADHD struggle with planning, organising, misplacing items and keeping things tidy. It is difficult to understand priorities, separate relevant and irrelevant information and time management. Those with ADHD often begin tasks and do not finish them due to restlessness, distractions or feeling overwhelmed by the task

Difficulties starting tasks - ADHD can make it very difficult to begin tasks as they feel too overwhelming, difficult or take too much focus. Breaking down tasks into smaller sections can help this a lot

Forgetfullness - out of sight, out of mind is often the case with ADHD, and so things like post-it notes and reminders can help people remember things they need to do

Multiple thoughts at once - neurotypicals tend to only have one thought/idea in their head at a time, however those with ADHD often juggle multiple thoughts which can lead to distraction and frustration

‘All or nothing’ - Those with ADHD tend to be ‘all or nothing’ with how they delegate their focus, if they are interested in something they will put their entire energy and focus into it until its perfect, if they aren’t interested? They probably wont do it at all, this often means that those with ADHD may struggle academically because they don’t feel interested in the topics. Unlike Autism, they tend not to focus well with repetitive tasks as this lacks simulation

Medication - unlike Autism, ADHD can be helped with stimulant medication that allows them to focus a bit better. This is not a cure as ADHD cannot be cured, however it can be beneficial to some to help manage their struggles

Acting without thinking and being impulsive - to find some stimulation, those with ADHD may act without thinking of their consequences, or can engage in risky behaviour as other avenues may seem boring, please note this is not the case for everyone, and these ‘risks’ may be very mild like trying a new flavour of ice cream. They can act impulsively too and struggle to wait their turn

Communication difficulties - while ADHD is not a communication disorder, it can have affects on communication such as talking out of turn, starting conversations at the wrong times, being insensitive to particular topics or getting too distracted to focus on the conversation

Need reminders to take care of themselves - due to a mix of hyperfocusing and not focusing well, those with ADHD may often forget to do things such as eat, drink, sleep or shower

Quite easy to get their attention - when someone with ADHD is daydreaming, getting distracted or not focusing, it can be as simple as giving them a tap or a smile to bring their attention back to the matter at hand, even if these needs to be done multiple times

Rewarding behaviour - this technique works well as rewarding good behaviour releases dopamine, which is the hormone often lacked in those with ADHD, this allows people to connect activities and behaviours with positive feelings and are more likely to do it again in the future

ADHD STEROTYPES:

ADHD is ‘diet’ Autism

Those with ADHD cannot sit still

They are disruptive

Everyone with ADHD is hyperactive, loud and extroverted

#autism #asd #adhd #writing #neurodivergent #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyū!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #Fanfiction

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katherine-mcnamara · 3 years

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You know what I’m sick of y’all just ignoring the fuck out of ableism and bullying people off this site for pointing it out.

IT IS ABLEISM (and super fucking creepy and controlling) to tell someone you better not catch them doing fandom/hobby stuff if they haven’t replied to your thread.

IT IS ABLEISM to tell someone they have to reply DAILY/ONCE A WEEK, and that nobody should have any excuses not to.

IT IS ABLEISM to then form a fucking MOB of your friends. some 2x the person who pointed this out age. y’all are older than me i’m fucking disgusted! To then harass and bully them off the site for telling you your rules are ableist.

It is not an excuse to then say well person is going through x,y,z so maybe you shoulda....... NO NOPE SHUT UP! If someone who is neurodivergent, especially an autistic person, tells you that your shit is harmful. You apologise and remove it. You can’t pull the oh well im neurodivergent too card. GUESS WHAT FUCKERS? You can be disabled & neurodivergent and still ableist. IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE FOR THE BULLYING.

You don’t fucking harass them with a mob and try to turn it on them.

Grow the fuck up the lot of you.

And honestly to everyone who just sat and watched an autistic person get bullied off the site by people nearing 40 because you don’t give a shit about disabled people or mentally ill people. Fuck you, honestly.

#rpt #rpc #rph #im mad #you don't get nice dev #you get furious and livid dev #ableism #i encourage this being reblogged

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brooklynislandgirl · 2 years

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🍁 + Questions are hard so what's an aspect of Beth that you would seize the opportunity to explore more.

Curious Cat || Always Accepting

I honestly would love to develop Beth's mental health better, especially the way it is with Andy, and the way it is with other people, because the two are vastly different. I mean this in the way that Beth has rapid-cycling Bipolar Disorder.

A brief explanation: RC/BiPD is often diagnosed when a person experiences for or more episodes of mania {or the milder version, hypomania} and depressive episodes within the scope of a one year {12 month} period. For some, rapid cycling can be temporary, and it can occur with any type of bipolar disorder.

With Andy, it's as mild as it can get. Just as her spark of life offsets his pain and bodily dysfunction, he's always been critically aware of her mental health, charting things in his own way and mending the rough parts when he could. In most verses where he ends up dying as per canon, he never actually gets strong enough to cure his sister, a regret that he carries with him into the afterlife. In the verses where he survives, Beth makes it very difficult for him to even try and their relationship is never what it once was. Andy is hyper-protective about her illness and her in general, which leads to the occasional outburst of his temper.

As for herself, Beth doesn't really like to talk about it. It's bad enough that she can't hide her audio-processing disorder, she doesn't want to throw something else into the mix. She is extremely {negatively} self-aware and self-critical. A giant portion of this comes from growing up under the Admiral's constant abuse, the man has effectively destroyed Beth's sense of self, and her worth to others. She does her best to take her mood-stabilisers as prescribed but those are only crutches and not cures. During Beth's highs she often feels like she doesn't need them. During her lows, she's convinced they're part of what makes her sick, and that the Admiral has something to do with it.

Beth gravitates towards other 'damaged' people because of these feelings, getting on with people who are not neurotypical or with their own challenges than she does with anyone else. Deep down, it's easy to believe that people with disabilities of any kind or those with some kind neurodivergence might more readily accept her. The reason I don't delve into it is...I have clinical {chronic} depression, but not bipolar disorder and I don't want to misrepresent anything or upset anyone, especially my beautiful friends who do live with it. Also, as you can imagine, those threads are not exactly fun to right for the other person, and none of my partners signed up to be therapists. {With apologies to: @ronmanmob, @whosxafraid, and @mynameisanakin for having threads where this is a root cause}

#Mahalo!Tabby <333 #Absolute Bethisms #The Turtle Speaks|Mun Answered Asks #mental health tw #bipolar tw #medication tw

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thesickpanda · 4 years

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Honey, there's isolation and then there's isolation.

I've seen many chronically ill, neurodivergent, poor and disabled people discussing their bemusement at the cries of lament from the well-off able-bodied people who now have to self-isolate, cancel their plans, postpone holidays and miss out on fun events. It's quite something to behold. It’s fascinating (in a horrible way) to witness these people who are used to getting what they want now finding that they can't have it; that that instant gratification has been removed for them. Now they're staring down the prospect of being lonely for a few months, unable to see friends, sometimes even family, unable to go out to the movies or the festivals. And we're sitting here like, yo - welcome to our world.

It's hard to put into words how frustrating it is to see governments putting in measures for tele-health services, working from home practices and teaching through Skype to students et cetera. For decades, disabled/sick/neurodivergent folks were told that these accommodations couldn’t be made for us, but now suddenly they can. Now suddenly there's money for it. Funny that.

When we've talked about how lonely and isolated we feel as people with disabilities, we've been dismissed, victim-blamed or infantilized. But now the ableds are feeling it, a flood of “community compassion” initiatives and “mental health advice for dealing with isolation” is being made freely available to them.

And yet previously, we used to hear things like: “You're so lucky you get to stay at home: I wish I could just be on Netflix all day!” Or, “You don't have to deal with people. That sounds like utopia to me!”

Not so much fun in reality, is it?

The latest banger I heard was from my sibling. I told her that after a long winter, months of bushfires, unprecedented floods and now this virus, I had essentially been self-isolating for six months and another six months was going to make me lose my mind. Her response was, “well, at least you've had practice. This is all so new for the rest of us!”

Yes, I have had practice. I have developed strategies for dealing with crippling loneliness. I have had to find ways to entertain myself whilst experiencing horrific symptoms of pain, nausea, digestive issues and more. I've had to learn not to take it too personally when friends cancel on seeing me or sensing their disappointment/bemusement when I cancel on seeing them. Yes, I have had lots of practice. It doesn't make it any less awful though.

Australia has had a particularly bad run. The bushfires broke out in spring and for almost all of November and December we literally could not go outside because the air was toxic. The smoke blocked out the sun, rained apocalyptic ash and embers on us which sparked more fires. I have a compromised immune system and so I really felt the effects of the smoke. Red eyes, runny nose, sore throat - the works. That crushing, extended period of terror took a huge toll on me mentally, as well. Then, just as the smoke started to clear a little, the heat waves came. I'm talking about 48°C (113°F) days. You cannot go out in that. More people die from heat waves than most other natural disasters combined, and people were dying in Australia. People died from the smoke and the heat and that doesn't even include deaths from the fires themselves. Then the fires were put out not just by some heavy rain but by actual torrential flooding. So for a few weeks in February we were cooped up indoors unable to go out because the train lines had literally washed away and it was too dangerous to drive.

And then the coronavirus hit Australia.

Now everyone is being told to lock themselves in their homes. For many of us, particularly the chronically ill and most vulnerable, we've already had months and months of that. And bear in mind: I had to pretty much self-isolate all winter. Because such cretins like anti-vaxxers exist, it's really difficult for those with compromised immune systems to go out in winter and not get sick with the flu, which can be crippling or even deadly for us. Secondly, winter is extremely hard on my body. My pain gets infinitely worse in the cold weather. Last year I spent most of winter inside. I barely saw the sun. The only way I can get through those 3 to 5 months of cold is keeping in mind the prospect of spring and summer, when I can go out more often. But I couldn't go out in the spring and summer of 2019. My long stretch of being stuck indoors went on and on and on, and now I'm being told it could be another six months before I can go out again - just in time for the start of the next bushfire season.

After all the hardships we endured last year and after finally giving up running my not-for-profit due to worsening health, we really needed something to look forward to in 2020. I had no less than 14 medical appointments in the first eight weeks of this year. We spent thousands of dollars on seeing specialists and therapists to try to fix my broken body. The only time I would be out of the house was to see another medical professional. And then I broke up with my friend of 14 years (and his family), which led to me feeling more alone and more depressed. And then my elderly friend died at the end of February. Everything looked bleak.

Strapped for cash, my partner tried to think of affordable ways we could still have fun this year. We finally had our own home, so maybe we could invite people over. Our social lives really suffered while running the non-profit, especially with all the drama of last year, so this year we pledged would be different.

We spent half a day in February in front of our wall planner and planned boardgame nights, our birthday parties, dinners with friends and excursions at local festivals and markets. I felt my spirits pick up a little and hope stir in my heart.

All that has been cancelled now.

For someone who is chronically ill and alone most of the time, we live for these outings. We live for the moments of socialization and human bonding that we are otherwise deprived of so much of the time. These things are the light at the end of the tunnel of pain and nausea and sickness. So to have that taken away from us? There are no words to describe how eviscerating that emotional pain is.

To add insult to injury, we’re currently watching able-bodied people behaving even more despicably than usual. They descend like locusts on stores and rob the vulnerable, including our poorest regional communities (STILL RECOVERING FROM BUSHFIRES), of their food and resources. We’re witnessing them stepping over the disabled, sick and impoverished to panic buy all basic necessities. We hear them complaining about how hard it's going to be to give up seeing the football and to stay home with the kids these next few months. It's fucking galling. Now they are starting to taste what we have to experience, and yet there is still no consideration for what we’re going through.

Instead, we hear shit like: "The self-isolation thing is so annoying. I mean, it's only the sick and elderly who will die from it so I don't see why I can't go out to a concert!"

Only the sick and the elderly: this implies our lives have no inherent value. But I guess, under a capitalist system, that's how people see things.

I am just so goddamn tired. I’m tired of trying to be positive all the time when things are just terrible right now. I’m tired of being dismissed, ignored, or made to feel like a whiny burden. I’m tired of the hypocrisy. I am tired of the fear and selfishness and ugliness all around me. I’m tired of being sick and I’m tired of being punished for it.

This coronavirus has highlighted so many deep flaws with our culture and our economic system. It’s shown up humans for the self-centered, individualistic bigots we are. It’s illuminated how pathetic our treatment is of the world’s most vulnerable. It’s really underscored how incompetent our leaders are. Not that this will motivate anyone to change anything. Keep selfish, carry on.

And so it goes. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…

#spoonie rants #chronic illness #chronic pain #the ableds are at it again #abledsareweird #fuck ableism #coronavirus #covid19 #Fibromyalgia #seriously Australia #get a grip #disability and isolation

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8-evil-annoying-catboys · 3 years

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im so tired of being hyperaware of my skin tone and how i’m affected by white privilege as a white-passing poc while actual white people get to walk around acting like they’re more oppressed than any given poc because of other axes of oppression. like. im poor, neurodivergent, trans, gay, and mexican and im much more aware of how just LOOKING white gives me WAY more privilege than any of my darker-skinned siblings and cousins within the exact same oppressed groups as myself or even who are allocishet and abled and middle class, than the average trans gay poor neurodivergent Actual white person is. being/looking white ALWAYS comes first. white passing poc generally understand this because we see what our family members go through that we don’t. white people just, like... don’t see it, i guess? or if they do, they ignore it. and im sick of it. the phrase “check your privilege” applies to almost EVERYONE, but ESPECIALLY white people, and yes that means ALL white people regardless of what struggles you have. i am not saying this to belittle the struggles of other oppressed communities, but white people in those communities NEED to understand that they still have an advantage against poc. for the most part—ie, unless you’re visibly disabled, pretty much—people won’t see you as an lgbt person, or a poor person, or a person with mental illness, or an invisibly disabled person at first glance. even for white passing poc, people don’t see us as poc at first glance and sometimes won’t even see us as poc after we tell them we are (which is... a whole other post unto itself tbh). but if you are clearly, visibly not white, then people—especially white people, but even poc do this—will see you on the street and register you as “a mexican” (or if they’re more culturally sensitive they might think “a latino”/“a latina” but let’s be honest most ppl who aren’t latine think of all latines as mexican by default, in america at least) or “a Black person” or “an asian person” or “an indigenous person” and they WILL define you by your ethnicity, or what they think your ethnicity is, and make judgements about you based on that before you even say a word. white people get to live without even paying that any mind, if they want to. and while people are still ableist, still classist, still anti-LGBT, still intersexist, etc., to white people, any and all other forms of oppression and prejudice are magnified by racism to an extent that white people could not begin to understand. please, for the love of GOD, recognise that just because you’re oppressed in some other way, that does NOT erase your white privilege, and in fact your white privilege protects you from more intense oppression whether you realise it or not. try to develop some compassion, try to imagine how it feels for a person of color who is disabled/lgbt/intersex/poor/female/otherwise oppressed in exactly the same way you are. if it doesn’t make you want to cry you’re not doing it right.

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dannyphantasm · 4 years

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Seen multiple posts lately directly equating different conditions/disabilities to severe physical disabilities and it’s like yeah, yes, anxiety is a disability. Glasses a disability. Depression is a disability. When the actual mobile physical body has parts or vital functions irreversibly removed though? Whole new ballgame, and one that can significantly worsen or cause the manifestation of any number of mental/other health issues.

It’s such a big conversation around disability rights and who fits into that as it is, but almost none of the conversation I’ve seen and heard lately around disability rights has really discussed that there is a quantifiably different experience in having to deal with different disabilities. To me this just feels like it can be harmful, especially when I see literally thousands and thousands of people reblogging posts about how they now fit into the category of disabled for things like having to wear glasses (which totally 100% is a disability), without also understanding that there is a spectrum to being disabled just like there is a spectrum for most human experience, and that just because you fit into one part of it does not mean you will necessarily understand what it’s like for someone on a different end of the spectrum. That takes listening, and more importantly a dedication to understand, which is not something many people express towards those of us with physical disabilities. Pity, confusion and disgust are far more common reactions.

Like I’ve seen folks talk about being bullied for wearing glasses and having anxiety in school and how it’s one of the worst parts of disability. When you get bullied and mistreated for wearing glasses or being neurodivergent, it’s super traumatic. it also isn’t the same thing as being systematically excluded and degraded from and in almost everything on the basis that your physical body is deemed inherently useless to society (which unfortunately seems to a basis for people to assume some mental “infirmity” as well). I’m aware that when I wear my glasses, some people may not enjoy how I look. I’m aware that when I have anxiety attacks in public or around my family I’m going to receive scrutiny and possibly miss social opportunities. When I’m too depressed to do anything at all I am aware that I’m experiencing something so dreadfully heavy that it impacts my every day and daily life, and that at moments I might want myself alive.

However, every single day existing with my physical disabilities, I am aware of the reality of a world that does not want me/disabled folks to be alive, because my very presence, like that of all physically disabled people, is a direct reminder or mortality and decay of the body to anyone who’s body can still move and function in an even half-way healthy manner. Even during some of the worst historical treatments of neurodivergent people such as sanitariums and asylums, physically disabled people had the shortest lived “stints” in such institutions or were otherwise left to death resulting from the lack of resources provided. Even today, in some places there’s a push to legalize assisted suicide for the physically disabled despite the majority of disabled people opposing such legislation. And for reference, the majority of people who choose to commit suicide do so because of feelings of being a burden, or worthless. Sound like it could be familiar to folks who are physically disabled? That’s because it is, overwhelmingly so. AND ITS STILL BEING PUSHED FOR BY ABLE BODIED PEOPLE. Like especially as someone who is a suicide survivor, this horrifies me, because it is a legitimized and direct path the the outcome the ingrained ideals and concepts that led me to my own attempts, and already in the Netherlands it’s within clinical reach for people who have that sense of worthlessness forced on them every day. Trust me, society wants people with certain physical disabilities gone far more than it will ever want people with glasses of mental health disorders gone, because mental health has the hope of being healed. Most physical disabilities do not have this hope, and as such there’s a reinforced narrative of inherent genetic inferiority. I’ve heard people say “I could never have kids with so and so because they have bad eye-sight” or even mental health diagnosis, but then there’s what I’ve heard people say about the genetic lineage of people with disabilities. “Wouldn’t it be better if we just got rid of sick or disabled babies” “wouldn’t the world be better without all these sick people?” “How could they even bare the pass on those genes?” “We should just get rid of people who can’t physically cut it.” “You don’t miss sick people.” This list goes on.

All this to say, it sucks because I really feel and hear the pain and levels of oppression that comes with dealing with almost any diagnosis or condition. but I’ve also watched the same exact people who were fine with how my mental health conditions presented, and who could hold all kind of discussion around human rights and mental illness, completely erase my presence from their lives after my physical disability became plainly evident.

In theory, it’d be cool to just be able to put everyone who deals with real and serious uncontrollable challenges to their existence within a single description that conotates their need for assistance. It can also create a lot of room for the people with the smallest voices to continue to be left unheard.

Rant over. Sorry but not sorry, because my disabled ass is sick and tired of having the worst of my conditions directly compared to the easiest of them, as though I’m supposed to some how be handling each with a similar level of grace? Heck that.

#fibromyalgia #myofascial pain syndrome #upper thoracic outlet sydrome #scheurmanns kyphosis #sciatica #ptsd #back injury #major depressive disorder #disautonomia #lisfranc injury

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slowlymadeart · 5 years

Photo

After a month of making adjustments to the script and editing things out I’ve kind of lost perspective on how this can been seen from a stranger’s point of view.

(And may have over explained in areas just to make sure communication was clear).

All images are cropped to instagram size. (except the first one with the “critique” message).

Tried my best to jam everything into 10 panels.

Oh, and what’s happening in that last panel is me being arrested for spoon debt.

Annnd to answer your question, yes. I do imagine a world in which “spoon court” and a “spoon bank” is being run by utensils.

I know it’s weird. It’s the whole “Goofy is a dog with a dog (Pluto) as a pet!

but.. I think it’s kinda funny….or could be if I ever draw more. Just doing research on obscure and various utensil to make into characters? I don’t think I could pass on that.

Anyhow, here’s some thoughts and explanations you are free to ignore. Seriously. They might cloud whatever you thought of the comic before reading a backlog of thoughts…But if you wanna follow the thought train, hop aboard.

1. Is “Well, You could just google it” too condescending or will the internet be okay with this? When it’s written in a post it’s fine, but in a comic? I just don’t want to push people away. Especially first thing. (After a month of rewrites and redraws is when I changed up that speech bubble and put that line in there, lol).

2. “Spoonie” comes with many associations with chronically ill/disabled communities. I tried to acknowledge as many points of view as simply as I could. Hinting at a bunch of perspectives from both the people who love it and reasons why people hate it.

3. Also nodding towards the idea that “Spoonie” is easier to say than “Disabled”, and for some, the internalized “Disabled is a dirty word” has them opting to say “spoonie” instead. Often unintentionally. So I then tried to blur the distinction between the two a bit. Out of a desire to mae “Disabled” a more approachable word.

4. Alright, so the idea ”Spoonies are just one part of the disabled community.” I feel like I may have been able to communicate this, but when I drew the group image of various spoonies connecting from their beds, it might feel too “Any person with a disability can be a spoonie to some degree.” …..which makes me worried healthy people may eventually start projecting it onto people they meet with disabilities. Sort of a “I can help you somehow, here’s this info a about spoons! Did you know it exist yet? it could change your life!!” all while still disregarding the person their talking to.

5. The facial expression on my character for “My body is disabled and day to day living sometimes breaks my brain” -I could not figure it. For me, there’s a mixture of “slight embarrassment but I gotta say it” and “LET’S PRETEND YOUR ELSA IN “LET IT GO” AND YOU HAVE NO MORE FUCKS TO GIVE!”

or “calm. with no more fucks to give. A ‘deal with it’ sunglasses or vacant eyes and a slight smile situation”

then I’d go back to “Embarrassment, both crying and laughing from brain breaking, wants to have no more fucks to give but that’s just not true”

and I was worried that gave the wrong impression about being disabled. Yes, there’s absolutely truth to it. but after reading articles by some extremely well educated disabled advocate types, and a critique on the show “Special.” I wanted to try and set a good example- pretending I’m further along with coming to terms with what my life is than how I can be at times.

We’re allowed to feel like this is a mindfuck. It absolutely can be. But I don’t want to be seen as too whiny…

…. and I need to clean up my language so my 11 and 12 year old sisters can read. (Will be changing a couple words for the finished version that goes on instagram and webtoons).

6. Christina Miserandino seems to use to be very into tanning. When collecting photos, her shade of skin changed all the time. But it’s not “arianna grande” type stuff, just more so her genetic predisposition and past beauty habits conflicting with going through a lot in recent years and hasn’t been getting out as much, or caring about looks. I tried to capture a sense of her advocacy prime, with the purple, when she put a lot of work into her hair, her love of girlishness but with a slight edge to show maturity. Just going with a skin tone she’s had consistently in the past couple years- just because going darker would have been a lot more strange to those who looked into her now. (This one’s less of a concern and more of a…disclosure? Just felt weird to deal with).

7. I don’t know if any of you have ever looked through spoonie selfies, or disabled selfies. but we seem to LOVE DYING OUR HAIR. (It’s one thing we can change). Hair dye is having a moment in the world. So I hope the change of hair colors here and in the future is not taken the wrong way. It’s just really fun to use unique hair colors on characters. I will say, the reason the woman on the left side of the “Today a spoonie is” has blue hair, is because she’s Trans, it’s a wig. her hair isn’t where she wants it to be yet, she uses the hat because she couldn’t afford a lace-front wig. Yes, it’s hot on her head. but it’s easier than using energy to secure everything and make the top look nice. and it feels too fake looking when the top is not covered up……. And…yes, I realize this is all in my head and not conveyed or relevant at all- but that’s the backstory, lol. I gave her shirt the trans flag colors, but she didn’t seem like a pastel person and so I kept them darker, feeling like that’s what this character would like.

8. I included cutting scars on two characters because a few years back I had a friend who pointed out to me I always omitted drawing her scars. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I just kept forgetting. But I felt bad. It seemed like including the scars was more empowering to her at that point in her life. That’s why they were included here.

9. I know some think “Spoonie” is just for those with Chronic illness. It can feel that way- it’s a large majority of Spoonies. But Christine herself said in an interview Spoon Theory can be used those with disabilities and Mental health conditions. Basically, whoever has a condition that causes fatigue.

When put that way- well, the panel that reads “Perhaps detached enough for misguided normies to think” -could happen.

(All the more reason to blur distinction between “disability” and “spoonie”?…maybe. but, that could alienate neurodivergents. And the blurred distinction between “Neurodivergence” and “disability” is…exploding as a topic currently. And I don’t want to contribute to more people thinking neurodivergence means “disabled” and therefore “broken”- that’s the opposite of what I want to do).

((Thus why there’s info supporting the idea throughout the rest of the comic “Don’t fix it. work with it. My situation’s just different.”))

Maybe the panel isn’t needed, but that’s how/why it came to be.

10. If there’s unhealthy mentalities portrayed in the comic that don’t serve a greater purpose, let me know. Unhealthy mentalities are great for humor, and getting to let someone else who’s going through the same type of thinking at times have comfort- but what I’m worried about is anything that is problematic.

11. If any of the terms I used are incorrect- such as places I use “conditions” to sum up- everyone who can be a spoonie. Let me know! It get’s really tricky at times when you have to make the statement as simple as possible to refer to a very diverse group with very diverse bodies.

12. I’m starting to put “mean stranger” type characters in colors without skin tones so that they can be applicable to more people, as being sick/disabled/neurodivergent is somehow in open invitation for the opinions of jerks. Drawing them all as Donkeys or “Asses” would be cool and clever, but too much work.

13. Because of Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia sitting with my legs down in a wheelchair is extremely draining, so I want to stop drawing that.

#critique #please #halp #so tired #brain gone ploop #what are words

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brittleyed · 4 years

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Whenever I’m talking about peoole treating me like shit for having symptoms to my disorders and people respond with “that’s abelisim for you” I’m always just like, huh????????

I’ve got c-PTSD, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, some minor audio processing issues, and am just generally super traumatized, so like I definitely consider myself neurodivergent, especially since I physically cannot pass as neurotypical because of how much I stim and just certain ways I act. But the idea that any ableism could be directed towards me just feels real weird and foreign. I just don’t consider myself disabled?? I’m mentally ill yes, i am severely so, to the point basic functioning is definitely impaired to a degree. But when does being sick cross over into the realm of disability?????? It’s wack and confuses me

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astroalive · 6 years

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I take issue with a lot of perceptions of both mental and physical illness in the astrology community. I don’t mean that I disapprove of medical astrology, I mean that it’s uncomfortable for me to see the constant ableism.

Placements cannot determine that one will be mentally or physically ill. Don’t oversimplify astrology in this way - it does no one any good. I’m tired of seeing posts claiming Virgo placements will make you OCD, or give you anxiety, or whatever else. I’m tired of the “Geminis are bipolar” nonsense. There’s a difference between being organized and having a condition. There’s a difference between being “moody” and having a mental illness.

Confounding typical behaviors with mental illness is harmful. It has real effects. Tossing around terms like OCD, depression, et cetera does not help the astrology community or the neurodivergent or mentally ill communities. Just like it doesn’t help to assign placements to autism or other neurodivergencies (I’ve seen this one more on other sites, but it’s worth mentioning). Just don’t.

Unless you have the condition, none of this is your place. And, as someone mentally ill, I would never think to claim “This planet in this sign/house is the reason behind my illness!” It doesn’t help me, and it really won’t help anyone else.

The same with my physical disability and illnesses: Do I see indicators of my illness according to medical astrology? Definitely. Do I see indicators of other illnesses I’ve never had in my chart? Definitely. The natal chart can’t tell you everything. The natal chart doesn’t make you ill, just like it doesn’t make you anything else.

And really? I personally don’t find it ethical to be determining anyone else’s health. The mistreatment and abuse that people face when sick, disabled, mentally ill, and/or neurodivergent is far too serious to mess around with, especially in casual posts and jokes.

I do not take issue with medical astrology, or with looking for your mental illness in a chart. I think it can be helpful - but I also think that it can be hurtful for others to water down astrology and claim one small part of a chart will make someone mentally ill, physically ill, neurodivergent, et cetera, when in reality medical astrology is so much more complex.

I can’t stress this enough: Do not assign mental illnesses to the signs or anything else along those lines.

#astrology #ethics #Medical Astrology #personal #long post

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howilearnedtocope · 7 years

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*clears throat*

Ok so I’m pretty nervous to post about this because I don’t want to get into any controversy, but there are a few things ive seen in reference to discussion on the stim toy “fad” that i feel i want to address bc they are things that are really important for disabled & mentally ill people & i want to make sure they’re not forgotten. so here goes

you can’t tell what someone’s mental state is by looking, and even if they say something like “oh it’s just for fun” they still may be neurodivergent and either not realize it themselves or not feel comfortable sharing

between learning disabilities, mental illness, autism, sensory processing disorders, and other forms of neurodivergence, there are a LOT of people who may fall into a category that would really benefit from stimming. Probably a lot more people than you realize, even if you are in this category yourself. I’ve seen figures around 20-30% or higher for all these things combined so … yeah, even if it were just these people it would seem like a TON bc we aren’t used to these groups being super open about it

many people who really could benefit from stimming may have only just found out about toys designed for it during this fad, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t legitimately benefitting from it & its good that there is more access & awareness

in my experience, lots of people who are mentally ill especially are VERY self doubting about it and their mental illness tells them they aren’t really sick, their problems aren’t really that bad, etc. so we need to be careful not to amplify the doubts people might be feeling about themselves already

Most importantly, there is already SO much cultural baggage around gatekeeping what disabled and mentally ill people can do. weird standards about how ill you need to be to deserve accommodations or mobility devices or treatment or even just being able to talk about it. Like it is legit constant and the dumbest thing is that most people seem to think that they can determine these things from incomplete info even if they aren’t in a position to be able to do this?? And they act like they have a right to information so they can judge whether we really deserve stuff instead of just accepting we can figure it out on our own

so it makes me very worried to see some people in the community suggesting rules or standards for who should and shouldn’t be allowed to do certain things, just bc this mentality is already so prevalent and ultimately ends up harming disabled people even if its meant to protect them. in my experience the best judge of what a disabled (or any?) person needs is *them* and i think its true for stimming as well

tl;dr: Are there people saying shitty things or acting badly during all this? Of course, and it’s important to discuss this and to correct misconceptions and shitty behavior. But I think these things are important to remember while we’re doing this, bc i know that none of us like having our health/disability judged from the outside, having people demand proof of us being really disabled, or having other people assume they can tell if we are making the right decisions about what is best for us.

#please tell me if i did anything wrong #but please be kind if you do #i am disabled and mentally ill and nd myself #<3 #i love all of you #Stimming #stim toys #neurodivergent #fidget toys #chronic illness #disability #m

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actuallyasexual · 7 years

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House MD + Ace representation

(Re: House MD mishandling Ace representation)

No one likes to be misrepresented in fictional narratives, but we need to talk about why that’s an actual problem. What issues does this create, outside of people developing misconceptions about you?

Well, House MD is set within a medical context. The “patients” within the show have their own identities and experiences, and how “medical professionals” approach their issues matter.

Now, I am well aware that House MD has numerous issues in representation. I am well aware that asexuality isn’t the only identity related topic that they’ve misrepresented or handled poorly.

However, I am only talking about issues in the show as they relate to asexuality. This does not aim to downplay any other issues present in the show, but rather to address a specific issue that impacts asexual people.

This post isn’t going to discuss what exactly was mishandled. For that, you can click on the link above. To summarize though, the episode involved gross invalidation, medical abuse, and pathologization of asexuality.

So, what does this mean for asexual people? First, I recommend taking a look at some of the tags and some of the reblogs on that post from people who are actually asexual. Some of their stories highlight the show’s impact on them.

Second, the biggest observable impact this has had on asexual people has to do with medical care. This is no surprise considering the context of the show, but it might not be an obvious issue for people who aren’t asexual.

Asexuality has a long history of pathologization, which complicates life for asexual people. This is especially true for asexual people who are neurodivergent, mentally ill, chronically ill, or disabled.

What is pathologization? This involves trying to find medical or psychological reasons for a person’s identity or behavior that deviates from the norm. It often positions an aspect of one’s identity as abnormal or flawed.

Pathologization of asexuality involves finding asexuality or asexual behavior to be abnormal, trying to diagnose asexuals as ill, urging or forcing asexual people to seek a cure or treatment and ignoring how asexuals feel about their identity.

For all asexuals, this creates anxiety when we seek medical care. We are at risk for medical abuse. This also creates barriers to acceptance of one’s self, as it makes sexuality compulsory. We feel like we need to change to be accepted.

This becomes more complicated when you are asexual and you need medical care or therapy. Why? That is because your care can shift from your health concerns to someone else’s concerns over your asexuality.

No one looks at a straight person and suggests that being straight makes them sick, nor is straightness seen as a symptom of illness or disability. No one looks at you, when you’re straight, and says that you need to be fixed or cured.

Yet, this happens to asexual people all the time. This happens to asexual people when they go to aphobic medical professionals or therapists. This happens to asexual people when they talk to aphobic family members and friends.

Furthermore, if we do feel that our asexuality is linked to mental illness, chronic illness, disability, or neurodivergence, it’s difficult to talk about without people urging us to seek treatment. Note: a “link” =/= “a desire to cure ourselves.”

Some people are uncomfortable with their asexuality, and I would never suggest that people have to enjoy being asexual. However, society creates a lot of barriers to self acceptance. Pathologization is part of that problem.

If you’re thinking to yourself, then why would you reveal your asexuality to a medical professional? One, that shifts the blame on asexual people. Two, there are many circumstances where talking about your sexuality is necessary.

For example, when asked about sexual health, doctors may continue to pry and urge us to seek treatment if we reveal our asexuality. When discussing trauma with a therapist, they may pry into our attitudes about sex or relationships.

As I get older, I also get a lot of invasive questions about my personal life. Why don’t I have a partner? Why am I not married? Why don’t I have children? Why am I not interested in this person or another? What is wrong with me?

The fact of the matter is that it comes up, and it’s difficult to avoid. Even so, we shouldn’t feel like our identity is taboo. We should be able to seek medical care without fear or anxiety that we will be alienated or mistreated.

...but it’s that very feeling that keeps us away from getting help for health problems we’re having. It took me more than ten years to seek out a therapist, and several years to establish a primary care doctor.

I am very careful not to talk about my identity when I am receiving any kind of health care, even though I am often asked about my personal relationships. I don’t want it to impact the medical care I receive.

Narratives that pathologize asexuals are putting asexual people at further risk. Narratives that treat asexuality as a complex experience promote a better understanding of who we are and it makes life safer for us.

#ace representation #actually asexual #ableism //#aphobia //#house md #pathologization

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tgautism · 7 years

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Introduction Q&A

I found some excellent Autism-related questions on @neurowonderful‘s blog that might help people understand me a little better.

1. When did you discover that you are Autistic? I was almost 16 when I found out.

2. What are your favorite stim toy(s)? If I'm wearing a fluffy sweater, I will use that to stim. If I'm not wearing a sweater, I have a shawl that feels just like a sweater that my aunt knitted for me. I also have a bunch of crochet blankets that feel like sweater. I call them sweater blankets. Anything that feels sweatery is an awesome stim toy for me!

3. What are your favorite stims? I love rubbing my hand against my sweater/shawl/sweater blankets, rubbing them against my face, or cuddling with them. I also repeat the word “sweater” in a funny voice, or I squeal softly.

4. How do you calm down after a meltdown? My meltdowns usually involve sobbing, or if I'm having a meltdown triggered by anxiety, heavy breathing, stammering, or freezing up. Sometimes, I vacate to a room where I can be alone if I can, or if someone comforts me, that calms me down, too.

5. What method(s) of communication do you prefer? I prefer speaking with my voice.

6. What are your special interest(s)? Music and writing, but especially music!

7. What kind of sensory inputs do you find very unpleasant? Okay, this is going to be a long answer, because there are a lot of negative sensory imputs for me. You've been warned. Clothing-wise, I can't stand wearing pants or jeans. They feel very confining and unbearably uncomfortable. Shorts are okay, but they have to be lose and elasticated. I also hate wearing buttons and zippers, hate it with a passion! Zippers are uncomfortable. I don't like the feel of them against my body. Even more, I hate buttons! I hate touching them, feeling them against my body, looking at them, and I even hate the word itself. For me, they feel gross! Other negative sensory imputs include loose change, small metal objects, and doorknobs that make my hands stink. I hate metallic smells, and I cannot stand jingling sounds, like loose change, keys, and heavy tambourines in music. I can handle Christmas jingle bells. They don't bother me. I have other sensory issues, but this is already long enough.

8. What kind of sensory inputs do you like the most? Anything sweatery!

9. What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis? I don't see anything wrong with it if you really do your research. My aunt was the one who diagnosed me. She has two Autistic sons, and she's done her research.

10. What is one thing that you wished everyone knew about Autism? I wish people would understand the importance of patience and acceptance. It really hurts me whenever people get frustrated with me, especially people I care about, because it makes me feel ashamed of myself. It makes me feel like I'm burdening them, and it makes me feel like I did something wrong. It can really take a tole on your self-esteem when it happens over and over. I also wish people would stop trying to “cure” or “fix” us. We're not sick, and we're not broken. I'm not saying we don't need extra help with our struggles, because we do. However, there's a difference between helping us and fixing us.

11. If you could repel one myth about Autism, which one would it be? Autism is not an “epidemic,” and it is not caused by vaccines! Even if it was, that doesn't mean we're broken or messed up! Stop trying to find the “cause” of Autism, so you can find a “cure.” Instead, listen to our stories, and don't brush us off like what we say means nothing. We just want to be accepted and loved. Is that asking too much?

12. What are some of the things that allistic people often expect you to do that make no sense to you? I've luckily never had to deal with any of that yet, not that I can recall.

13. How do you feel about being Autistic? I'm going to say it like it is. It's a pain in the ass sometimes, but it's also awesome!

14. Describe a place/room/situation that would be sensory heaven to you. My favorite music group of all time is Celtic Woman. If I ever went to a Meet & Greet, and they were all wearing fluffy sweater dresses, I would think I've died, and gone to sweater heaven, especially if they all pulled me into a big group sweater hug! You'd have to surgically remove me from them!

15. Describe a place/room/situation that would be sensory hell to you. My high school graduation is a perfect example! Our gowns zipped up in the front, and of course, I hated it! I had a major meltdown, but I couldn't take off the damn gown. I was in hell throughout the whole ceremony, but I was so relieved when I finally got to take off the gown. Another example is when I was seeing a psychiatrist as a teenager, he didn't understand my sensory issues, and thought the only way for me to “get over being afraid of” buttons was to make me wear a shirt with buttons on it everyday for about a half hour. It didn't work at all. It only made me miserable and ashamed of myself.

16. Do you have any mental illnesses/other kinds of neurodivergence? How do they interact with/affect your Autism? I don't have any other neurodivergences, but I am visually impaired, which means I can't see very well. It often clashes with my Autism, and makes some tasks even more difficult than they would be if I only had one or the other.

17. Do you prefer person-first or identity-first language? Either way is fine with me, but I totally understand why a lot of Autistic people prefer identity-first language.

18. What are your Autistic headcanons? I have no idea what the heck an Autistic headcanon is! If I find out what it is, I might update this answer.

19. Are there any books/shows/movies that you would recommend to other Autistic people? I am actually writing my own book, an autobiography, and it explains my struggles with Autism and my visual impairment. I guess I would recommend that when I finally finish it, because maybe it can help them in one way or another.

20. What are some of the Autism-related problems you often have in your everyday life? Some of the people in my life get frustrated or impatient with me when I display one of my Autistic behaviors. I know they don't mean to, but it really makes me feel bad when it happens. I feel like I did something wrong, or like I'm a burden or embarrassment to them.

21. What are your favorite Autism-related blogs/websites? I actually don't read a lot of blogs, but there are a couple of amazing Autistic YouTubers I love to watch. One of them is Amythest Schaber, who has a series on her channel called “Ask an Autistic,” where she explains different Autistic traits. The other one I love to watch is streamofawareness. Her real name is Cyndi, and she's actually one of my best friends. She explains all of her own Autistic traits, talks about her struggles, displays her traits on camera (stimming, meltdowns, shutdowns, etc), and she has a beautiful singing voice! I highly recommend you guys check them both out on YouTube! I've learned so much about myself and my own trails, because of them!

22. What do you like about being Autistic? I love that I have special interests, and a deep passion for them! I also just love being different. I used to be ashamed of it, but over the years, I've realized that it's okay to be different. If I'm not hurting anyone, I can do what I want. I've learned to take it as a compliment when people call me weird. I am weird, and I'm proud of it!

23. What do you dislike about being Autistic? I hate meltdowns and shutdowns. I hate that I get my feelings hurt more easily. I hate that I feel guilty over things I shouldn't. I hate that I feel stress more, and can't handle it very well. I hate that I can't pick up on social cues, and can't always tell if someone is joking or not. I also really hate that I can't take criticism very well. In fact, that's one trait I'm stil very ashamed of, because as a musician, people are going to criticize me. All these negative traits have let to so many people telling me to grow up, toughen up, deal with it, get over it, or that I'm getting upset over something stupid. I've had to deal with so many people shaming me for my behaviors, and I really hate that. I've had so many friends turn their backs on me, and so many relationships go up in smoke due to it. I really wish people could learn to be more accepting and patient.

24. If there was a cure for Autism, would you want to take it? Hell no! You know what I want cured instead? Ignorance! Cure that instead, because I'm not the sick one here!

25. What topics are you most likely to infodump about? Celtic Woman is probably the biggest one for me! I'm such a huge, huge fan of theirs that I keep up with the latest information on them, and I know so much about them. If you were to ask me to talk about them, I would never shut up!

26. Are there any stereotypes about autistic people that you fit? I would say the one I fit is that Autistic people are intellectually disabled. Obviously, that is not true for everyone on the sepctrum, but it sort of is for me. There are some subjects that my mind just cannot grasp, which is why I struggled so much in school, and even moreso in college. To get me to understand them, you'd have to dumb it down, and sometimes, even that wouldn't work for me. Some things are like Jibberish to me.

27. Which ‘social rules’ do you often have trouble with? I cannot, CANNOT, handle eye contact. A lot of Autistic people can't. For me, eye contact feels very invasive and overwhelming. It's even more uncomfortable for me, because one trait of my visual impairment is Nystagmus, which means my eyes wiggle, bounce, and move around a lot. It's because my retina is messed up, and it's very embarrassing for me when other people see that. It's even more embarrassing when they point it out.

28. Can you pass for neurotypical? Nope, but I really don't care.

29. Have you had any previous special interests? What were they? I used to love to draw and color. I haven't done that in a few years. Now, I like to create art on my computer.

#tiffany gray #actuallyautistic #actually autism #team autism #autism acceptance

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eats-the-stars · 3 years

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still thinking about how it was kind of messed up that so many kids i went to school with had mental health problems and issues that come from being neurodivergent that were really not properly addressed at all by like any adults that i was aware of. like i’m just thinking of my undiagnosed autistic freshman self spending the fifteen minutes before the first bell sitting by my best friend’s locker touching up my homework and also walking her through a panic attack and also reassuring her (as usual) that no, she did not have cancer, or leukemia, or whatever flavor of potentially terminal illness she deeply and truly believed she had that day (this happened about once or twice a week for around 3 years). is that a kind of hypochondria? i was especially good at calming her down because my autistic ass is either super chill or manically excited with not much in-between, and i lived with a sister with pretty severe anxiety and another sister with unchecked anger issues who enjoyed threatening our lives and playing some actually pretty twisted mind games for her own amusement. so nothing about this read as unusual or terribly distressing to me. also my mom died of cancer, so this apparently made me a better authority on being able to flatly say “no you don’t have cancer, I’d be able to tell, I spent so much time in hospitals I can sense if someone is sick” (which is a lie I can’t sense if you’re sick but the goal wasn’t brutal honesty it was to get my best friend calm enough to attend first period and get through the rest of the day). i had another friend with an eating disorder that she was bitterly aware of but couldn’t get her family to take seriously. I knew kids who clearly had learning disabilities like dyslexia and knew it but struggled to get any kind of accommodation. so much depression, anxiety, eating disorders. And the unfair thing was that the majority of them got more support from their friends than their own families. Like, teenagers trying to talk their friends out of suicide or cutting or trying to get them to not go puke after lunch or to help them review class materials that they weren’t able to take notes or focus on because of learning disabilities or just having bad days.

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colorisbyshe · 6 years

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it makes me feel really sick that people saying "please don't tell people to lie back and think of england" is being called predatory. that's classic predator behavior-- isolate the vocal victim, flip the terminology around and try to point fingers @ them for x behavior. ace culture was why i took being raped lying down and thought it was normal... these people respond like this bc speaking out limits their access to sex. if we say "hey rape is bad" then people who benefit from it will push back

I think the real issue is most of these people claiming it aren’t the rapist partners--they are the unwilling sex partner.

Which is why the denial comes from two different places--being in denial that it’s sexual assault (or sexual assault-tangent) for mental health reasons and being in denial of their lack of aceness (often for mental health reasons).

There are a lot of people who identify as ace as a bandaid laid over a gaping wound, a stopgap to avoid introspection and confrontation. When women, LGBT people, people of color, disabled people, neurodivergent/mentally ill people, fat people, and all other sorts of marginalized people are raised to believe that they either shouldn’t have sexual desires or that their sexual desires are deviant--bad--wrong--dangerous, I think some people cling to asexuality as a way to sort of nullify that narrative. Which is why we get a lot of “more pure” implications of “I don’t want my partner for their body, I want them for their soul, I mean we still fuck and I still want them, but like... I’m not like the other girls.”

“You guys get horny just seeing strangers on the street but I just appreciate how good they look, enjoy their personality, and then want to fuck them.” “I still want sex with them but it’s for intimacy, unlike you fools.”

We’ve all seen this shit dozens of times. Raised in sex shaming society where sex is both built up to be this big thing (fireworks! life changing! you get hard/wet just by seeing a hint of navel!) and something required (good girls do what their husbands want, real men fuck women, a never have i ever game that just devolves into drugs/alcohol/sex questions where you feel left out because you haven’t fucked in the laundry room knowing someone else’s load--haha--was in the machine) and also something disgusting (whore, slut!, pervert), it’s tempting to negate that by acting like sex is a requirement for everyone else but it’s just an option for you that you choose with a clear mind unlike those animals. Feeling like its a choice makes you feel less chewed up and spat out by a system--by rape culture. It’s a way of taking back control and even feeling superior over it.

So, these people likely are experiencing sexual attraction, enjoying fully consensual sexual experiences (although, again, a partner who thinks their other partner doesn’t desire it is still a wannabe abuser, to put it lightly), but refuse to say such lest they be grouped in with the rest of us.

On the flip side--

I think with a lot of bad sexual experiences (especially if you are a woman), there’s a knee jerk impulse to rationalize how it wasn’t that awful, how maybe you wanted it, and how it could’ve been worse. “Real” rape is violent. “Real” rape requires a no gone ignored. “Real” rape can’t just be someone knowing your sexual boundaries being ignored because someone wanted you, your body, to exert power over you.

So, this ties back into the first one--the not really asexual asexual--but it’s the inverse. They are ace but are rationalizing in sex positivity/neutrality to make sense of a life where they know most of their partners are going to want/expect sex from them and this is a way to pretend like it’s okay.

We actually see this a lot with non-ace women. Remember the cat person story? Or maybe the stories that came out about Aziz Ansari?

It’s the same exact thing and in those cases most people condemned the Cat Person/Aziz. Because people who have sex with people who are not eagerly consenting--who maybe never say no but never asked for it in any way either--are abusers, toxic, dangerous. And also that those stories are how things really play out when you’re having sex with someone you aren’t attracted to and don’t want to have sex with--they aren’t somehow still pleasant, they’re awful and nauseating and uncomfortable.

And how hard it is for women to say “No” or “I don’t want it, at all” even after that. Because setting up boundaries often isn’t allowed.

You can set up fake moral-justifying boundaries--I have sex because I want to have sex but not because my body wants it, my mind now (sex positive ace)--but you can’t really set up REAL boundaries like “I don’t want sex” without at least a little fear of retribution.

Violence. Judgment. Something “real” unlike lying beneath someone who is taking sex from you but somehow isn’t raping you because theoretically it’s not that bad, it’s like washing dishes or eating vegetables.

Both mentalities feed into rape culture--they are created by and reflect and amplify all of the most insidious parts of our society that views sex as something owed, something required, something disgusting.

Caught in the crossfires of this rhetoric are a bunch of young people who are going to think their unpleasant experiences and the demands made onto them aren’t that bad,

If a 30 year old wants to delude themselves, I can’t stop them. I feel sorry for them but wish it wasn’t happening to them but there’s nothing I can say to them to make them stop.

But there are kids at 12, 14, 16, 18 who are gobbling this up and having sex they aren’t ready for, maybe would never be ready for or want, and are being told to grin and bear it.

And that’s what makes me truly upset. Like I’ve said before--the ace community, as it exists now, was a mistake and I deeply regret ever identifying within it, for falling victim to it (literally, I was victimzed by adults in it), and for encouraging it.

#ace discourse #rape #sex positive asexuality #sex positive #Anonymous

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