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#EVERYTHING FEELS WRONG NOW
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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not-spiders · 1 year
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what the fuck is this am i having a gay awakening or something???
i don’t like this give my lack of attraction back please give it back give it back give it back
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egophiliac · 10 months
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Did peepaw come home?!
HE DID! :D! luckily it only took me three ten-pulls; I think my past experience of being so thoroughly denied a Fairy Gala Ortho made me more worried than I should have been. may the gacha blessings pay forward to everyone else! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
so far this is hands-down the funniest Lilia card, because he'll say something all edgy and badass in that deeper ~General Vanrouge~ tone and then follow it up immediately with one of the non-card-specific cutesy Lilia lines, and it gets me every time
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adelinamoteru · 1 year
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there is something just so amazing about jason coming back to life, seeing how the world remembered him and hating it. coming back to life and telling the people who loved him that they grieved him wrong. people worry if they’re doing the right thing x person would’ve wanted them to after they died, but no one has ever experienced something like that.
someone who you loved and mourned and who loved you back came back and was disgusted by what grief made of you. they didn’t want anything to do with you. how do you deal with the loss of someone you loved a second time around when they’re standing right in front of your eyes, breathing and alive again?
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thronealigned · 8 months
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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal
#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for#a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally#oc: impulse#sure this'll go in their tag#everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then#really funny again if you think about it even longer#one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending#i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong#impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person#tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people#you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as#sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings#not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges#and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human#connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they#were never the person you became friends with at all#and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were#friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too#they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even#think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope#i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained
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dreamsy990 · 1 month
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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace
extras below the cut
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sketch
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closeups on my favorite panels
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bonus: adios
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lotuslate · 1 year
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the right thing at the wrong time!
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cemeterything · 3 months
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i'm not going to lie i hope that the jon sims and alexander j newall text-to-speech voices on the computers that read out the incident reports aren't jon and martin. not because i'm a hater but because i just... don't really want another story about those guys. their story is over. they were both central pov characters in the magnus archives who i got to spend plenty of time with already. and yeah, they'd hardly be protagonists anymore as ghosts in the machine, but considering how much tma fanwork centers around them i'm worried their presence will continue to dominate the fan community. okay maybe i'm a little bit of a hater.
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months
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landing
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Okay, we all know being a demigod is a shit position. Its scary and gets you killed in really nasty ways. But I feel like being a Big Three Kid has to be the shitiest position in all the shit positions.
Like, imagine being Thalia Grace. Your dad is king of the gods, lord of the skies. Led a war to get rid of a tyrant. And the only thing you get is his scorned wife AND brother, who both try to kill you (with one technically succeeding), a drunk of a mother, and brother who you thought was dead. Oh, wait, he’s not dead! No instead he was used as an offering to appease your dad’s wife and help fight in a war and prevent mass destruction.
Or maybe you can imagine being Percy. Son of the sea god, the stormbringer, the earthshaker. You get to live with a disgusting, abusive man for around 6 years. Who smells like literal shit. All because your scent as a demigod is too strong, BECAUSE of who your father is. You see things that you aren’t supposed to see and do things that people can’t do and go years thinking something is wrong with you. That your the problem. Then you get to the one place where you’re supposed to be save. But! Here is the kicker! You’re not! Your uncles hate you and you’ve been accused of stealing a symbol of power. A series of events that will kick off a war, and guess what. You’re a center point for it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.
Mhm, but then there’s Hazel. Daughter Pluto, god of the underworld and riches. But that doesn’t really change anything does it? She’s still living in 1930s America, in a red state. One where confederate flags still hang if you go deep enough into the city. She go to a school where the kids are supposed to be just like her! They still don’t like her tho. She’s got no idea who your father is, only that he left her with a parting gift. Only it’s not really a gift. Sure, she can pull rubies and diamonds from the earth, all worth millions. But anyone who’s ever gonna touch it will die. She lives with her mother, a woman gone so mad with greed it kills her. And Hazel, by the way. Laying dead Alaska, inhaling oil. But it doesn’t end there! She can’t have her mother suffering for eternity, can she? The answer is no. Hazel gets to spend the next 70 years in the Fields of Asphodel. It still doesn’t end! Because when she’s brought back to life, she gets to fight in a war against giants, her sad story seemingly never ending.
Nico’s a son of one of the Big Three, one of the most ancient and most powerful. But most people look at him as something bad, something not worth taking a second glance at. Something too look away from, mostly. He’s from the 30s, spent years in a magical time casino with only his sister at his side. She doesn’t stay for long though, she dies soon after they discover their heritage. And he doesn’t remember his mother much, a name without a face. A face without a name. He survived an attempted assassination at 2, though it wouldn’t be the only time his was life was threatened. He clings to his sister, even though she’s dead. He’s the son of the god of the underworld, is he not? There had to be a way, and there is. Only she won’t talk to him, she seems more concerned with communicating with the guy who got her killed instead. She chooses rebirth, and he decides to lay it to rest. She’s not coming back, and he has a war to fight in. (He gets stuck in a jar and forcibly outed a few years later, but that’s a lot to get into for now.)
Jason Grace is a pillar of New Rome, their golden boy, their American boy. He’s a son of Jupiter, a natural born leader. He’s been at camp for as long as he can remember, he wants to be praetor soon. He’s had a rocky start, but maybe he’ll be one of the lucky ones. Retire a veteran and live a long life with Reyna in New Rome. Only that never happened. He has no idea where he is, there’s a girl holding his hand, and she’s cute but it feels wrong. They get attacked and people come in and call him a Greek demigod, familiar, yes, but still wrong. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t put things into perspective the way it does for Piper and Leo. He’s goes to a quest to rescue Hera, the name sounds wrong. He nearly dies but at least he remembers who he is. He spends the next 6 months trying to get back home, even though he isn’t too sure on where or what home is. He gets there, eventually, but it doesn’t stop there. He’s dragged on quests and battles and fights in the war but at least he survives it, he’s still there. Apollo needs help, he and Piper give him aid. He gets dumped. He doesn’t get to he a veteran in New Rome. Not with Reyna, not with Piper, not with anybody. He doesn’t get kids or grandkids. No, he gets shot down, another demigod buried.
You could be any one of them, really. Pick your poison, but I guarantee you won’t like any of them. Spending years trying to find a place where you belong, where you feel safe. Only for it to never come.
Percy, who, if you really look at the books, isn’t really all that well liked until he’s at least 2 years into camp. Only to then be sidelined because the courages, brave, fearless daughter of Zeus is back from the dead. Nico, the son of one of the most feared and hated gods. Who has death written all over him, who excludes it so much animals can smell it and humans can sense it, who’s been ostracized and pushed off to the side since he was 10. Hazel, who was treated like disease as soon as she stepped foot on camp soil. Who’s gone her whole life looked as something that’s cursed, that will only bring misfortune, a bad omen.
Shit positions, all of them.
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purrvaire · 9 months
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good omens season 2 + text posts I have on my phone (1/?)
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13eyond13 · 7 months
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underrated funny thing about lawlight is they never actually did get to confirm that 100% of the time they were basically thinking exactly what the other person thought they were thinking every single time
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somegrumpynerd · 8 months
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Been reading @topazshadowwolf's How Nightmare Became Dadmare and I have been so sucked in by this silly little family I had to start doodling
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crazycritters13 · 8 months
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IT’S SAD HOW NICE THE PAST IS
TAINTED BY THESE VILE ROSE-TINTED GLASSES
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chirpsythismorning · 7 months
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bylers when over 350k people don’t have the exact same thoughts and opinions as them
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#byler#stranger things#byler tumblr#i know some of us have been singled out or humiliated by others on here insisting we’re delusional for our theories#and so you compensate by doubling down and telling everyone else their theories are actually headcanons and yours aren’t#or maybe you are someone on the other end who is fed up with bylers reaching and are sick of group think having a place here#some advice: just let the show be whatever YOU want it to be#if you think everything you analyzed is right and everyone else is wrong#congrats#you are as pathetic as the rest of the fans who think the exact opposite and also think they're right and you're wrong#we are one of over 350k ppl with differing opinions and thoughts and experiences guiding us to coming to the conclusions we do#i don't mind ppl giving different perspectives to things even if it goes against my analysis (just don't be an asshole about it)#i have changed my mind about certain aspects of the show bc of this and i have changed other peoples' minds as well#without all of us being able to say what we think we would not have near the evidence we do now#but what comes with over 350k people in one space also comes with some semblance majority that feels a certain way about certain things#it's never going to be perfectly even across the board#what is believed and what is agreed upon will always be shifting as different people say their peace and as the show itself progresses#and hell even if you're the 3% that feels a certain way about something and think the other 97% are setting themselves up for disappointmen#bask in your perceived glory WHEN that time comes#but in the mean time... me personally?#i think it would be quite embarrassing if i devoted my time on here to telling everyone else their theories are wrong and mine are right#only to end up being the one that was wrong#let ppl set themselves up for disappointment#save the celebration for when you actually secure that win#for now#id rather be on here discussing my theories/reading others' theories that aren't rooted in tearing everyone else's down to feel superior#all of this is to say it is never worth making ppl feel like shit over a fucking tv show… I’ll never get that#and this is coming from someone who has no (current) plans to say i told you so (not even to that redditor that has a 2 year timer)#bc until s5 comes out...#crazy together
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woennix · 4 months
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I'll be honest I am NOT surprised qFit will try to tell qPac about all of this.
By the end of his lore video the feeling I got was that he is going to fullfill the mission trying to believe that Madagio won't hurt anyone if he follows what he has been told to do. At the end qFit says: "I care about the people of this island. - I'll complete the job but you better not be using their data to do harm."
This to me sounds like someone who is ready to fight their boss if they do anything that will harm their loved ones. BUT he is not dumb, he knows that as said by the contract, if it came to a point where he had to disregard it in any way, his loved ones will be in danger. That's why he wants to ask qPac if he is ok with that risk.
What I will say is that I didn't expect qFit to be ready to has this talk so soon BUT with Ramon's pressure that doesn't seem that crazy to me.
I also wanna say another thing, mainly because I might be missing something or maybe there's being some kind of misunderstanding. As far as I know (and I might be wrong but I did check back on what Madagio said), the contract said that qFit is not advised to make attachments, BUT it never said it's against it or something thay might break it. Madagio just said it will complicate things, and it felt more like a warning to qFit to not distract himself with attachments or let them take priority to the mission. To be fair this is already happening, qFit is definetly at least thinking about prioritizing Ramón and qPac if it came down to it, but as long as qFit does what he's told and brings that data I do not think Madagio cares, and I didn't get that vibe from what he said during the contract either.
I say this because for now, from my understanding qFit is following the contract and has not broken it, and as long as he does this, his loved ones should be fine. And I think qFit is choosing to believe this data maybe won't be used for anything bad, since we still have no idea what it is for.
To be fair too, he is between two choices:
1. Break the contract, his loved ones making be punished, and he goes back to 2b2t.
2. Follow the contract, people might be hurt (tbh they will most likely be hurt) and get a chance to be free.
Like, none is good but only one of them has an actual chance to be somewhat of a happy ending, since there is a chance for Madagio to not use the data for anything nefarious.
The problem will come when the data is used for something harmful or he has to give qPac's or Ramon's data (and I am pretty sure he has it). Another way this could go wrong is if Madagio does something outside of the contract for his own benefit that harms others or qFit himself, like changing the rules of the contract or straight up breaking it and doing whatever the fuck he wants.
Basically my conclusion is: qFit is fucked either way so he is choosing the least fucked option and hoping Madagio isn't an actual asshole and will hurt everyone, by following the contract and getting a happy ending. He also knows Madagio IS most probably an asshole so he needs to be careful and warn qPac and is ready for a fight if necessary.
For now keep at the mission and hope for the best.
Or well, that's how personally I understood qFit's most recent lore.
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