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adventuresofcandymareinvrchat · 1 year

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Hunting Filth

A candymare tale

Warning this story will contain troubling and suggestive themes readers discretion is advised

The bell rang as the sun shines on the church giving it a morning glow , a priest steps out into the sun lute glory. His clothes showed his status of a stallion of age yet was positioned high in gods rank or so he believed. His daily life was that of spreading gospels and prayers blessings and well wishes amongst the flock , he was adored and praised for what he had done . Many wondered were the nun that occupied him had gone but the priests words calm their worries telling them that she was unwell with a sickness that has yet to be purified by his hoof .

Many believed and trusted his words to the point of saying his voice and words was that of god , the image of wisdom and perfection . However under the surface many didn’t know of the priests hidden hunger for the forbidden . It was at dusk that this hunger started to rise when he spotted a crying colt . No more then 6 he was calling out , a orphan here as if it was left for him. As he got closer to the child his eyes were predatory in their gaze , however as he drew near the most her and father found him. The priest calmed himself as the parents thanked the priest he gave the radiant look , however behind that radiant mask was a angry predator cursing them.

Heading back to his house of god he noticed something more like another , a pink little filly curled up she had a red and black mane . As he got closer the child smelled sweet like candy , the priest s eyes again went predatory thinking that this was god giving him a sweet treat of the forbidden fruit . Going closer he gently tapped her and gave a warm smile to hide his hunger “ hello my child are you lost please come to my church we hav others lost like yourself. We will feed and take care of you god loves all his children and we will love you to.” He spoke .

Without saying a word the little one followed him as the hungry pony of god was nearly drooling over this sweet treat . He served her food or tomato soup with grape juice , as she ate he noticed that she was ravenous smiling to himself thinking he was akin to her . But when she drank the offered juice she slowly lowered her head and closed her eyes. The holy man has done this many times and without fail almost like a dance . He picked up the sleeping child and carried her down to his hidden lair , it was something of the second level of hell . A den of lustful men who did bad things and robbed the innocence , however he wasn’t alone . No he had an audience in his lair as he kept them alive and fed in case he needed to feed his hunger . Two cages one contained those he robbed of their innocences both colt and filly whimpering scared though not malnourished but deeply robbed of any joy or happiness . The other a nun trying desperately and shouting curses at the man , he chuckled thinking he was a pony of god and what he did was gods will .

Strapping down the filly to the bed he turned around and donned a garment that was both obscene and insulted his teachings . He was not done with his preparation s for he grabbed a book and a holy water and started blessing toys to help him pick and peel in his eyes . After he finished as was ready he turned to his fruit ready to bless her with his rod and seed , only to see the fruit had escape the tree . Smiling he did enjoy the game and started looking for her saying sweet words “come child im going to give you gods love it’s like no other you’ll feel full inside “ there in the corner in the room he saw her cowering and whimpering . As he got closer something was wrong , the sound of bone snapping and flesh tearing as the once innocent fruit started to grow into a large monster creature . Grabbing his book and holy water he was going to defend the house of god and with the high and mighty father on his side he would banish this monster .

She did this many times the innocent look always got them , the cries and the pains of the others she could hear it . It took her some time but she arrived when she saw the church it was coated in a sickness that even hell would vomit . Oh she was angry and wanted to make a mess of things but remembered her promise to her friend spoony to do the right thing. So she waited and the fly took the bait , she heard the lies he spouted but all she heard was what flies eat. The soup was delicious and nearly gave up her predatory nature , surprised the soup was yummy she drank what he offered. There she tasted his liars poison and smirked before pretending to fall asleep . When he carried her she could tell where they were , for the box that was the church she felt nothing not even safety for it was empty of anything not even gods love . When they reached his lair the air both empowered and sickened her , for she was born of darkness hate blood and death. To be reminded of your rebirth is a bitter sweet candy to swallow , and now the masks lifted she didn’t have to hide who and what she was.

It felt so good to strech and let go all her pent up anger and need was about to be fulfilled , her swirl eyes noticed he grabbed the vial and book. As he spouted words at her labeling her of what she was she couldn’t help but giggle “that’s right I am but I’m more honest of nature then you are .” He kept spewing words of accusations as if the words had any power over her . Though letting the pride speak and think of themselves powerful is the greatest joke . After his rant he spewed words from the book he held as a shield and the holy water as a weapon. He shouted the words throwing the water though she recoiled back she couldn’t help but give a wide grin . He continued to spew his holy words expecting to see light but all candy saw was the same old filth and shit.

To her surprised she backed him to the nun cage and his captor held him captive , however when she spewed words and curses it looked like fire the same fire that fueled her rebirth from the same type of filth . Her tendril wrapped and coiled around the priest that the nun didn’t want to let go, she screamed and shouted toward her and candy gave her a glance of understanding but to know her place . The nun understood and stopped , the priest started praying , candy smirked and looked around “You pray? And dose he answer? “The priest shouts he is in all his houses , of course candy laughed it was disoriented as the mouthed all over her body laughed and giggled before stopping “ No , no god is not here because god can’t touch filth like this , filth like this place you call home create only monsters like you . “

However to mock him candy smiled and put her claws together and bowed her head and spoke in a sweet innocent voice .” Dear god i a monster of destruction and he’ll humbly ask if you give me the power to find the keys to free the innocence from this lair of filth “ she would ripe the cages apart but something happened that even startled her . A shelf fell and dropped the keys to the cages , her blue swirl eyes looked at the keys and picked them up with her tendril. Unlocking both cages , the nun rushed over to hug and comfort the little ones , they eyed candy weary of what was going to happen if she was going to go after them next.”God wanted me to open your cages so that means god wants you free and safe.”

The nun gave a soft smile of hope but then looked at the monster who wore the cloak of god . Candy notice this and smiled “Don’t worry please take them outside what I’m going to do is only meant for monsters eyes .” The nun nodded some of the children wanted to watch as if they wanted to see the monster that hurt them suffer but the nun ushered them out . Once the eyes of the innocent were gone candy looked at the stallion his face looked frightened and defeated . He spoke saying he did gods work and that everything he did god instructed him to . That he was holy and what he did was purifying , candy smiled and spoke “You didn’t do gods work you did your own, you wanna know why god answered my prayers and not yours? I took many lives both innocent and sinful , yet I repaid it and gave them back I took away . Monsters and demons like me are created by filth like you. God lives everyone including monsters and demons because we can change and we know his work. Filth like you who use his name for your sick hunger and desires , you make him sick and abandon you like the filth you are.”

The priest soon realized that he was filth and there was no going back no redemption. Candy heard his pleas of killing him, but to candy it was more filth just filth after filth. “No I’m going to give the one thing you don’t wanna have right now immortality in the worst way” she pulled his limbs off one by one , as blood gush and spurted from the stumps she used the fire of the torch’s to stop the bleeding . Placing him on the bed her sharp candy claw pierced his chest and impaled his heart as candy turned it into a candy heart . Stopping just barely not turning him into a candy ghoul because she did not want to be connected to filth like him.

The priest gasping panting struggling spoke “What did you do to me !?” Candy looked at him” I made you immortal you don’t need to eat , sleep, or even drink. Not even go to the bathroom you’ll lay there on the bed of the innocence you broken and lied to , while everyday your followers will come here to judge you and see you for the filth you are. I’m not without mercy if they forgive you for what you have done I’ll come back and kill you quick.” She lied and left as she could hear him shouting yelling , as she walked her body slowly morphed into a mare .

Outside the nun and the children waited for her candy spoke “Let them know what he has done and show them if he earns the whole town’s forgiveness I’ll end his suffering , let generations know and show them for he is now immortal. He has his hell on earth on the filth he made .” The nun nodded but the children rushed over to candy and started nuzzling and hugging her thanking her . Candy looked confused “I’m a monster why do they hug me ?” The nun chuckled “ Sometimes gods create monsters to protect us from the worst kind of monsters “ candy smiled and nuzzles the little ones back the nun asked if she would stay .”I can’t there more filthy ponies out there but I’ll visit please give them a good life and let them not end up like a monster like me “the nun confused but nodded . As candy left that village she could hear something , the screams of pain and the smell of blood . Her swirl eyes and body moved in that direction to hunt more filthy ponies .

I don’t own candymare she is a character created by @knackerman all created for her creation goes to him.

#something sweet to bite!

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idledee · 2 years

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when i drew these i really didnt know how bad it was gonna get i honestly thought it was junior goofs w gay uncles for 1000 pages

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #wei wuxian #lan wangji #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jin ling #WAH WAHA WHA AWHA IM IN THE YILING PATRIARCH ARC *SOB SOB SOBS*#I HATE EVERYONE WHO IS LIKE YILING PATRIACH IS SO SEXY #HE IS MALNOURISHED AND DEEPLY TROUBLED #wei wuxian............................................sob sob sob #doods

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shaheenarnitipsyart · 2 years

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The Encounter

This is the 22th time joining @flashfictionfridayofficial! Thanks for the interesting prompt! This is a sort of prequel to the story I wrote for 121 Cold Body but it can stand as it’s own (I hope).

Word count: 690

T/W: description of war

Roshan(he/him): a captain of the kingdom of Iksa

Cleon (he/him): a commander of the kingdom of Iksa

Arta (they/them): a hostage from the clan of Nue

Roshan looked at a tattered 'thing' in front of him. It was wrapped in a shabby cloth. Two tired-looking warriors dragged it and then threw it in front of him in a rough manner. Roshan was exhausted by the long military campaign and needed some time alone in his makeshift tent. 'What's the meaning of this?' Roshan glared at the warriors. They flinched a little. 'It is an order from the legion commander Cleon, my lord. Commander Cleon said that you are now in charge of taking care of... of this.' 'Uncover that thing.' Roshan said sharply. Orders from Cleon meant trouble for Roshan as he knew that his senior did not have a friendly feeling towards him. Two warriors hesitated, anxiously looking at each other's faces. Roshan asked with a stern face. 'What's the problem?' The answer didn't come from the two warriors but the third person who entered the tent. 'Because that 'thing' in front of you is extremely dangerous.' Roshan immediately recognised that low, rough voice. 'Commander Cleon, why did you go to the trouble of coming to my humble tent?' Roshan greeted Cleon coolly. Cleon stepped forward and poked the 'thing' with the top of his boot. 'Isn't it obvious, captain Roshan? This is a hostage for you - the Clan of Nue's offering, a gesture of their submission.' The Clan of Nue was infamous for its magical power. Some rumours said that the members of the clan were shapeshifters and in their bodies ran poisonous blood. They used to lead a nomadic life, yet they had to live in hiding as the campaign by the kingdom of Iksa prolonged. 'Are you asking me to destroy them so that you can get away from staining your hand with their poisonous blood?' Roshan said coldly. Cleon laughed so hard that the small tent shook. 'Oh-oh, you are so harsh and deadly honest. That's what I like about you. And yes, indeed. YOU deal with it. It's my order.' With a sarcastic smile, Cleon left the tent, followed by the two warriors. Roshan sighed deeply as they glanced at the 'thing.' He didn't take the horrifying rumours about the clan of Nue that seriously. He drew his dagger and cut the ragged cloth quickly. A blindfolded face full of wounds appeared. Their would-be silver hair was covered with dirt. Our warriors did too much out of fear. Roshan cut the blindfold and met burning purple eyes. Although the hostage said nothing, Roshan could feel mockery from them. It was indeed troublesome. Suddenly they spat at Roshan. Angered, Roshan nearly drew his sword. It was so easy to slash this annoying face and put an end to this stupid situation. Yet, as he stared into those unusual purple eyes, something made him think twice before he actually did so. Instead, Roshan observed them carefully. Young, malnourished, yet so determined. They were maintaining an air of dignity in that miserable state - maybe the most humane thing Roshan had ever seen during these relentless battles. Weird realisation overtook Roshan. What's the meaning of all this - all we - and I - have done? What was the purpose of all this bloodshed? Roshan never gave a thought twice. He was too desperate to prove himself, devoured by the desire for recognition. Others looked down on him for him being 'lowborn,' and he had been fighting against that. 'Ha! So you are afraid of my poison, you coward bastard!' Again, the hostage spat at Roshan, which brought him back to reality. Roshan noticed some old wounds that could not be done by his warriors. They might be an outcast of the clan, just like me. 'I can curse you! I'll destroy your bloody army!' The hostage shrieked, but it didn't bother him anymore. 'What's your name?' As Roshan cut off all the ropes, he asked. That simple question took them in surprise.

And that was the rocky start of the alliance between Roshan and Arta, which eventually turned into a steady friendship. However, at this point, nobody could expect that Arta would save Roshan and his legion.

But that's another story.

@flashfictionfridayofficial

#Flash Fiction Friday #think twice #My WIP

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wanderinginksplot · 3 years

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Nobody Listens to Kix

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Case 01187: Lux Bonteri

"...and if you roll them at the right speed, they'll slip through the shields and explode next to the droid itself, disabling the guns and allowing you to pass," General Skywalker finished, glancing around the group of rebels to check for their understanding.

Kix eyed the assorted group as well. When he had been tapped to join the Jedi and the captain on a trip to help an underground resistance movement train to fight the Separatists, he hadn't been impressed at the idea. After finding out that one of the leaders - a kid named Bonteri - had a past with Commander Tano, he was even less thrilled to be there.

Admittedly, he had been surprised by the group. The fighters were minimally trained, but in decent shape, medically-speaking. Kix had expected to find festering injuries and critical malnourishment. Instead, he found mild dehydration and an honest, stars-blessed splinter.

A splinter.

This resistance group may have been better-organized than others the 501st had run into in the past, but they weren't exactly what Kix would have expected from a rough-and-tumble encampment in the woods.

Saw Gerrera would be trouble. Kix had known it the first time he interacted with the young man, and he could tell that Rex thought the same. Saw was passionate and angry, traits that would not help him against the Seppies. In fact, they were more likely to get him killed, along with every other member of the encampment… including Saw's sister Steela.

In contrast, Steela Gerrera was promising. She was a perfect counterpart to her emotion-driven brother and would make a good leader for the small group - a larger group, even, later on. She was level-headed and practical, eager to learn and wise beyond her years. Kix and Rex had both been impressed by the young woman, as had the Jedi. Well, two of the Jedi. The final member of their party had been too busy worrying about Steela's major weakness.

Lux Bonteri.

Kix didn't get it. He was no expert in what teenage girls found attractive, but it seemed like a bit much for both Steela Gerrera and Commander Tano to be fascinated by the boy. Admittedly, it seemed like the attention was almost a bit much for Lux, too. Still, he appeared to enjoy the idea that two females were so interested in him and did what he could to juggle their feelings. One minute, he would flirt shamelessly with Steela, who seemed to welcome his efforts. The next, however, he would stand far too close to Commander Tano and murmur things that her sensitive montrals could easily have heard from a far greater distance. The boy was honestly lucky that some of the more... overprotective members of the 501st had not come along to Onderon, or Kix would have had some real injuries to treat.

Despite his own confusion and disgust, the situation was entertaining enough, though Kix was at least tactful enough to avoid talking about it around the Commander. She seemed displeased by the way things were going and he couldn't blame her. He was displeased, too. Kix was of the opinion that the GAR and three of its best Jedi had more important things to do than babysit a fledgling grassroots rebellion, and a teenage love triangle did nothing to improve the situation.

"Ouch!"

It was the call to action for medics everywhere, and Kix was no exception. In a moment, he had grabbed his medic's bag and went to find the source of the pained sound. It turned out to be none other than Lux Bonteri, who had managed to deeply scratch his forearm while trying to roll a dummy det through the droideka's shield.

The kid had pressed a hand against the scratch, holding back the blood that was trying to seep from the small wound. Other members of the rebel band clustered around, asking nonsensical questions and generally being in the way. Steela and Commander Tano seemed the most concerned, but Kix definitely saw General Skywalker roll his eyes.

"All right, folks, please move so I can treat him," Kix said impatiently.

"Will he be okay?" Steela asked.

Kix snorted. "He has a scratch on the arm. Yeah, he'll be good to go in about three minutes, if you can clear the crowd."

Steela nodded, raising her voice. "Back to training, everyone! Lux is going to be fine."

With a jerk of his head, Kix indicated for Lux to follow him to a more secluded area, a short distance away from the crowd. From what he had seen so far, the small group of rebels needed all the practice they could manage. Bonteri followed willingly enough, sitting on a fallen tree trunk and extending the arm so that Kix could clearly see the injury.

It was a long cut, deeper than Kix would have expected, but still nowhere close to anything vital. The real danger was infection, especially in a forest, running around in unsanitary conditions, and this far from medical care. It would have to be cleaned, medication applied, and the wound wrapped before Bonteri could keep training with the other members of the rebel force.

"Don't worry, kid," he soothed automatically. "We'll have you patched up and back in action in no time."

"I'm not a kid," Lux told him haughtily. When Kix didn't bother responding, he sighed. "Do you think Ahsoka saw that?"

"I'm sure she did," Kix said evenly. "She was standing a foot and a half away from you and has full use of her sight."

Lux groaned. "Fantastic."

Kix shook his head, mostly to hide a smirk. "What does it matter what Commander Tano saw or didn't see?"

"Please," Lux scoffed. "You have full use of your sight too, correct?"

"I don't know what you're implying, Bonteri," Kix said, not liking the boy's tone. Before Bonteri could unleash another half-insulting comment, Kix added sharply, "And if you're saying what I think you are, I'll remind you that she's my commanding officer and I have no problem letting this scrape heal the old-fashioned way."

"It's just…" Lux trailed off, suddenly looking younger than ever. "She's so beautiful, and strong, and brave. I want her to think well of me."

"I'm sure she does," Kix said, trying to sound encouraging. Kriff, he didn't remember being this young.

"She doesn't think well enough to care for me," Lux said, reminding Kix of a pouting child. "Not the way I do for her."

Kix laughed before he could stop himself. "She's a Jedi. She took vows not to care for anyone, not the way you're talking about."

"And I took vows to uphold the Separatist cause," Lux countered. "I left them behind after I learned new information."

This time, Kix laughed on purpose. "You think attraction is new information? Kid, sex has been around longer than any of us. That's why we are around - at least, those of us who weren't born in a tube."

Lux didn't find that nearly as funny as Kix did, so the medic filed it away as something he should tell his vode and moved on. "Ahsoka knew attraction and temptation would be part of her life, but she thinks the good she does as a Jedi is more important than her own feelings."

"Has she spoken with you about this?" Lux asked, looking floored by the possibility that Commander Tano wouldn't change the entire course of her life for sake of a crush.

Kix sighed. He definitely had never been this young. "No, but she doesn't have to. You can see her dedication in everything she does."

"You can," Lux agreed, looking past Kix with a slight smile on his face. Kix turned to see Commander Tano juggling a handful of dummy thermal dets to amuse Saw, using the Force to launch them high into the air before letting them drop into her waiting hands. General Skywalker and Captain Rex watched the process with patronizing amusement while General Kenobi was thankfully occupied in another section of the camp. Kix was only surprised that General Skywalker wasn't taking part in the theatrics.

"I've heard Jedi can have physical relationships," Lux said slowly. "They just can't get attached."

"Done a lot of research into Jedi relationships, have you?" Kix asked acidly, then shook his head. "I'm not about to tell you - or my commanding officer - what you can and can't do, but Commander Tano isn't the type who can easily separate emotions from actions. By pushing this - by pushing her - all you're doing is making her choices more difficult. Remember that when you decide how to act with her from here on out."

"I understand," Lux agreed. From the solemn look in his eyes, Kix actually believed that he did.

"Good," he said with a sharp nod, patting the neatly-wrapped bandage on Lux's forearm. "You're good to go. Keep it clean and dry as long as you can manage. With any luck, I think you'll be able to keep the arm."

"Thank you, Kix," Lux said, giving a deep nod. "For all of it."

"No problem, kid. Try putting a bit of spin on the thermal det next time. That can help it get through the rollie's shields."

Bonteri walked back toward the group as Kix packed the unused supplies back up so he could be ready for the next medical crisis. There would definitely be one before they left, especially if the captain or either of the generals had heard much of the conversation between Kix and his patient.

---

A/N - sorry for the tiny gif! I couldn’t find a larger version, but I think this one really summarized Lux and Ahsoka’s friendship. Thank you for reading! Please feel free to reblog so my work can spread!

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rosethornewrites · 3 years

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Fic: and sings the tune without the words, ch. 3

Relationship: Jiāng Yànlí & Jīn Zǐxuān, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian

Additional Tags: Epistolary, Food, Music

Summary: An epistolary follow-up to “the thing with feathers.” Exchanged letters.

Notes: See end.

Previous fic in the series: “the thing with feathers”

Chapters: 1 | 2

AO3 link

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To Jin-gongzi,

I sincerely apologize for the delay in writing back. A-Xian had an episode, like the one you saw, but he was unconscious for two days and very frightened and confused after he woke. I had a letter started before that occurred but am writing a new one now.

I am glad you like Zihuang’s design. When a-die took me to the luthier, we discussed the various options available for both sound and decoration. Since my practice instrument was a shoo konghou, they recommended I choose the same, but the fong shou design called to me.

I decided on the mother of pearl instead of a precious metal or jade because I liked the shine of it, but also for another reason. Before A-Xian fell ill, he and A-Cheng always brought me lovely shells they found while swimming in the river. They used to compete with each other to see who could find the most diving. So the nacre reminds me of them. I don’t know if A-Xian remembers this—perhaps I should mention it to him.

I confess I am still a little distressed over A-Xian’s episode, so I apologize if I go off on tangents.

As a result of my childhood illness, I sometimes have dizzy spells. Largely it is under control, but Healer Kang said that improving my core might also improve my health. I’m happy that I can find a way to contribute to Yunmeng Jiang even with a weak body. I agree that there should be more avenues available to young cultivators who may not be able to fight monsters—if the sects encouraged such disciples to utilize their cultivation to heal or engage in other activities that would enrich the sect, it would only strengthen the sects!

Cooking is an activity I quite enjoy, and I would be happy to serve lotus root and pork rib soup sometime when you visit. My soup was the very first thing he remembered, actually. When A-Xian first came to us, he was scared and so malnourished, and I always cook it for him and A-Cheng, especially when they’re sick or troubled. I’m happy cooking it for him meant so much to him that it broke through his amnesia.

Your suggestion about handstands was something I tried. It was very difficult, and I was so involved in trying to do one that I forgot Lan-xiansheng was coming to give me a music lesson. It was so embarrassing to be caught, as I was a little disheveled. But he smiled—I think he almost laughed, even, especially after I explained.

He said your idea is sound, but I will need to work my way up to an actual handstand. For now, he showed me several exercises I can do to work on my muscles, and recommended I do the arm motions of sword forms with a light practice wooden one. I can move to heavier ones as my strength increases, and eventually I will be ready for handstands. Thank you for the suggestion. I am glad I can speak of this with you.

I was unable to find a konghou score in our library, but I can write to Lan-xiansheng to ask if there is one in theirs. I, too, enjoy that song, though there’s a sadness to it, since it’s a farewell song. I may not be at the level where I can play it yet, but it is good to know what music you like.

One of our cooks is from Lanling, but not near the capitol. I asked her about those dishes, and she knows them and will be happy to prepare them next time you visit. She’s also willing to teach me how to cook them! She cooked up basi pinggou for dessert once A-Xian recovered, even, and we all very much enjoyed it. It’s so sweet, and the texture is very pleasant. A-Xian and A-Cheng competed to make the longest thread of sugar.

Yunmeng cuisine is indeed known for its spice—but never take food from A-Xian, since he goes overboard with the spices. He dumps chili oil on everything, except my soup which he insists is perfect.

I am very fond of re gan mian (hot dry noodles), and I like pianpiya (Hubei duck) which you might enjoy since one of the dishes you mentioned is a duck dish. As a dessert, I am very fond of sweet doufunao (tofu brains/pudding).

A-Lian was a gift from the lotuses, our beautiful lotus meimei. A-Xian’s illness changed quite a bit for us. A-Niang became protective of him, and she started talking to a-die more. She also decided that we should seek orphans and street children and educate them so they may become cultivators, if they have the capacity, or take on a trade. She’s also made it her personal mission to rescue women enslaved at brothels so they might also be able to be educated and learn trades. Our family has grown, as has our sect, and we’re all very happy.

I think a-niang is happy to have found more purpose, and to have reconciled with a-die. They had deep misunderstandings, I think. A-Xian’s illness forced them to talk, and things are much better now.

I am including some of the rose petal candy you enjoyed with this letter. I hope it finds you and your family well.

Jiang Yanli

To Jiang-guniang,

Your gift of rose petal candy is much appreciated.

I am sorry to hear of your brother’s illness; you obviously care deeply for all of your siblings, so I have no doubt it was distressing for you. When I was there, he passed out for no more than a ke, which seemed from the reaction of everyone to be more typical. Yu-furen mentioned he was attacked and fell into a coma for weeks. It is quite understandable that you are distracted. Is he recovered?

The choices behind your konghou are interesting. I have not engaged in music beyond a rudimentary grasp of the suona as a pursuit of the six arts, but perhaps I should refine my skills and consider music more carefully. As you stated, we need not limit ourselves to the sword as cultivators.

As such, I agree with you on pursuing cultivation for healing and perhaps the arts. I wonder if cultivation could be utilized in the visual arts, as well. I tried to speak of it with fuqin but he seemed disinterested and called the idea “quaint.” I believe it is a good idea—no one thinks the Lan quaint for pursuing musical cultivation, and I have heard a branch of the Wen sect is known for its healing cultivation. In fact, you might look into them, though I don’t know what branch it is.

It sounds very much like you have used cooking almost as a healing art for the benefit of your brother. I wonder if, like with medicine, qi can be infused in food somehow. Maybe not for healing, but for other things like comfort. I have never considered this before, and I am enjoying this discussion. I may research it in the library here, but I would like to know what you find if you look into it as well. Regardless, your cooking sounds powerful on its own.

I had not considered the status of your body, which you mentioned was weakened by your childhood illness, and I am relieved you did not injure yourself in the attempt. That is a very real consideration if you push your body too much; I once tried one of the more advanced Jin sword techniques before I was ready to and wound up hurting my shoulder. I’m glad Lan-xiansheng prevented any harm from coming to you.

I will see if there is a konghou score for it in the Jin library, but it could probably be adapted for the konghou by a musician, perhaps with different levels so you can start with a simpler version and then progress as you improve. That’s usually how I learn footwork and sword technique. I’m not sure if your sect trains the same way.

Your description of your brothers eating basi pinggou made me smile, as I do the same thing. It’s part of the fun of eating it when it’s hot. I’m happy to hear you enjoyed it, and I hope you also enjoy the other dishes when you get to try them.

Some of our cuisine is spicy, but I can scarcely imagine eating something spicier than Yunmeng dishes—your brother must like strong flavors.

I have been living in Koi Tower my entire life, but somehow had never gone to the kitchens before. The cooks were very startled to see me. I asked about the dishes you mentioned, and one of the cooks was familiar with Yunmeng cuisine. She cautioned me that the spice can be quite strong but can be adjusted to taste. In Lanling, our doufunao is salty, so I was surprised it could be a sweet dish.

The cook kindly made a small bowl of it and allowed me to watch the preparation. She used ginger in the syrup. It was a little strange at first, since I’m used to it being a savory dish, but it was quite good. I asked if the kitchen would consider occasionally serving it for dessert with dinner and making it when you and your family come to visit, and they were amenable.

I don’t quite understand what you mean by “a gift from the lotuses,” but it is not my place to pry. Yu-furen stated she was Jiang Wuxian’s adopted sister, so it makes sense that she would also become your sister upon his adoption.

Yu-furen’s idea about orphans and street children seems sensible, especially given your brother’s past. Some gentry may be concerned about elevating the status of such children, though. She may face criticism for this, and for the other. I know a-niang hates prostitutes, but I don’t think it’s their fault if they’re slaves. What else can slaves do but obey? Rescuing them seems just.

Your parents’ relationship has turned quite positive, and it seems good for you and your siblings.

I am including some of my favorite malt candies in several flavors, and enough that your family can try them as well. My favorite is the date walnut candy. I hope you enjoy them.

With best regards,

Jin Zixuan

---------------

Jin Zixuan is a little jealous that Jiang Yanli’s family is so happy and his, well, isn’t. He’s also tentatively fascinated by their discussion of cultivation, and a little mad that his shitty father won’t discuss it with him. He’s also aware of why his mother hates prostitutes but is not willing to say so.

From fan-created maps, it seems Lotus Pier is in Hubei province, so I used several dishes from there as Jiang Yanli’s favorites. Doufunao is called tofu brains but is a kind of soft pudding tofu. In Shandong province it would be made with savory flavors, but in Hubei it’s made with sugar. Cantonese cooking apparently uses ginger with it, and the recipe I found also does. I also found a recipe for date walnut candy that looks divine.

Also, apparently the suona is popular in Shandong province, but also kind of sounds like the mating call of a peacock and I just couldn’t help myself. Music is one of the six arts young gentlemen would be expected to have some proficiency in, so it makes sense that he has at least rudimentary competence.

Jiang Yanli upped the ante by sending him the candy he noted enjoying. And Jin Zixuan is not one to be outdone, so of course he sent some back, and enough for her siblings to boot! This is a matter of pride!

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #chen qing ling #cql #mdzs #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #untamed fanfiction #untamed fanfic #untamed fic #cql fanfic #cql fanfiction #cql fic #mdzs fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #mdzs fic #my fanfiction

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ellemcu · 3 years

Text

I don’t want to hurt you

Chapter 6

words:1464

warnings: none

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You were walking past many people and receiving many stares. The man you were now under his control and whose name was unknown to you kept walking towards the exit. You finally get out of the building and a big jet is there outside, waiting for you to get on it.

A bridge lowers itself towards the ground and you climb on top of it. The man walked in front of you and sat down on one of the seats, you just stood there waiting for further instructions, staring blankly at the floor and staying as still as possible. The rest of the team climbed on the jet, well Natasha and Steve. The jet turned on and started flying. The ride was awkward but you weren’t paying attention to that because you started feeling dizzy but you forced yourself to stand still. Your brain was reprogramming again and The Shadow was losing its constant fight against y/n y/l/n, just temporarily though. You closed your eyes and sighed deeply, trying to numb the pain. All eyes were on you and you quickly opened your eyes as Y/n. You took a shaky breath and looked around, the man was no longer sitting in his seat but was standing alert, not sure what was happening to you. You cracked your neck and forced yourself to speak, say anything, just anything that will make them understand that it's you and not The Shadow. You said, with a low and broken voice, “It left:”. Your voice cracked but you saw the man you had been controlled by letting his guard down, understanding what you meant. “Steve, it's her. It's not The Shadow anymore”. they both lowered the weapons they had raised and sat back down. You didn’t take your eyes off them as they kept eye contact with you. “This is James, I’m Natasha and this blonde guy, this is Steve” the lady called Natasha said with a calm tone. You gave them a cold stare, not knowing what to say. After a few minutes of staring at each other, you let out a shaky breath and sat on the floor quietly, resting your head on the wall. You were thinking about everything that had just happened and about where they were taking you. Your breaths became shorter and quieter as your heartbeat quickened. You were starting to overthink again and now was not the time to show total strangers your weaknesses. “Where are you bringing me?” You questioned with a low tone, trying to mask how panicked you were. “ Don’t worry, you’re safe now,” James said sitting back down in his seat. “They can’t get to you.” he went on. You let out a shaky sigh and wondered what was going to happen.

After half an hour the jet landed and they all exited the jet, you followed. Natasha was staring at your every move very closely but what she didn’t know was that you were looking very carefully at all of their moves, contemporarily. All of the slightest details were being shoved in your brain, hopefully, they would be useful, you never know what might happen.

You entered a massive compound and walked towards what looked like a meeting room. You could see people were inside the room from a distance, probably waiting for you. Steve opened the door and you walked in, still confused as hell about the whole situation. You made eye contact with every single person in the room. That was the first thing HYDRA taught you: make your targets uneasy, look at them straight in the eyes, without showing emotion but understanding theirs in a heartbeat.

“Make them feel what you want them to feel. Scared or uneasy.” Your handler used to say. He used to question you every day and after days of beating because you showed hesitation you knew by heart every answer to his questions. After years of training, you could make anyone feel troubled and anxious with just one look. Your handler made you train on real people when you were just 5 years old but you didn’t think any of it because you thought it was normal.

You snapped out of your daze when a man you knew too well started talking. “Well, she wants us all dead. Why the fuck is she here?”. You looked up at him but he was staring at Steve. “I don’t know ask Bucky” Steve shrugged. “Listen I know this sounds bad and she is a threat to all of us but we can fix her and trust me we need her on the team,” James said in a firm tone. “If you let me go I’ll gladly be on my way. I can go home and I won’t give you much trouble”. Everyone looks at you with a shocked expression. “How the fuck does she know English? I thought she knew Russian and Spanish, not English. That’s why I thought she was in here because she couldn’t understand what we were going to say. And if I may ask what’s so special about her? I mean she fights pretty well but that’s pretty much it right?” Anthony Stark says anxiously while you scoff at his question. “Stark, She’s HYDRA’s number 1 asset. Hell, she’s better than THE winter soldier. She knows more than 20 languages and aces more abilities than you can think of. God, she might even be able to bring a whole country down on her own because of how she was trained. I would not underestimate her, trust me.”. You smirk at his words keeping eye contact with Steve making him unbelievably uncomfortable. James notices quickly my actions and speaks up. “Nobody look at her!” but everyone’s attention is turned to me.

You can feel your heartbeat speed up because of all the unwanted attention so you break eye contact with Steve. “Why Barnes? I mean sure she’s malnourished and hurt but are you sure she’s the one?” a guy with a bow in his hand questioned. As soon as the attention went back to him and James I let out a few shaky breaths, determined not to show them my weaknesses. “Hell yeah, I’m sure she’s the best hitman there is. She NEVER failed a mission. EVER.” you gulped hard not sure where this conversation was going.” I don’t know man, I still don’t trust her.” Anthony Stark said. “ okay listen as much as I agree with you I think Buckys right. C’mon man I mean look at her she might be the world’s best assassin but HYDRA’s all she’s ever known” Steve said with a slightly hesitant tone. “I think she needs help” A woman with long dark brown hair mumbled.

Your head shot up to see who had made that last comment, as soon as you made eye contact with her you got into her head, reading her thoughts. You were desperately trying to find any of her weaknesses and to your luck you found plenty. “Stop.” She said clearly in your mind. “We really want to help you.” You were still searching through her mind while she was talking to you through your mind. “We will help you if you aren’t a threat, do you have any clue to who we are?” you scoffed out loud while everyone else in the room was arguing about what they were going to do to you. “Have you got any idea as to who I am?” you asked her through her mind. She shook her head as you came back to the world. (ya know cuz like you zone out when you read minds Idk if it makes sense).

“Listen, we helped bucky, Steve knew her.” the brunette said. ”Nah, I only knew her mother” Steve corrected her. “whatever, we gotta help her too, You have no idea what she’s gone through.” she goes on. “Ok fine whatever we got space. Who wants to help her?”. Stark questioned. “Nah it’s fine I don’t need help, and I don’t need to stay here. Now I’ll be on my way:” you said standing up from the chair you had been sitting in. “Hold up, you need help whether you like it or not,” James said with a calm tone. You completely ignored him and walked out of the room. Steve grabbed your arm right before you could walk out but with your fast reflexes, you twisted his harm and pushed it against him, making him fall on the ground.

You walked out of the compound but before you could start running towards the nearest airport (cuz like it’s easy for you cuz you have super speed and all that jazz) you blacked out completely. Your knees buckled and you fell on the hard ground, unconscious.

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I’m so sorry it took so long but here it is finally!! To be honest I don’t even know if I like this chapter that much cuz it’s not really how I wanted it to be. Please tell me what you think and if you have any requests or like any opinion don’t be afraid to tell me! elle

#Bucky Barnes #enhanced #wanda #buckyxreader #buckyxyou #steverogers #tony #HYDRASoldier #hydra x reader #buckyxhydrareader #anxitey

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elizabeethan · 4 years

Text

Always By Your Side

Part 5/6 of It’s About Bloody Time (Season 3 Canon Divergent after Neverland).

Catch up on Ao3 or tumblr!

Summary: “Not that,” she says, and she does roll her eyes this time. “I told them about what happened before. You know, when you left me pregnant in jail for your crime.”

The tone she uses and the satisfaction she gets from his reaction is slightly sadistic, but when his jaw drops open and his eyes bug out, as if this is the most shocking news she could have ever told him, she can’t help but feel her pulse buzz with the sensation of sweet catharsis.

“You did what?” he hisses.

A/N: One part to go!! The next one will likely be a bit shorter, and I'm sure you can guess what it'll consist of content wise! Thank you so much for reading, reblogging and commenting! Reading peoples' reactions is what keeps me going :)

Anna had been brought over in the first curse. Apparently, she and her fiancé Kristoff were in the Enchanted Forest, or Misthaven, as she calls it, looking for information about her parents when the curse struck. When they didn’t return, Elsa froze her kingdom and searched for her sister for 29 years, which is apparently something that she can do.

When Elsa found Anna on a whim, working in the ice cream shop that Henry frequents, she jumped from where she was seated with Emma and Henry and nearly gave Emma a heart attack. As it turns out, Anna knew she needed help getting back home, but was too scared to ask anyone because she kept seeing the sheriffs with the Dark One and wasn’t sure where to turn. Whoops.

Now that all is well, Elsa, Anna, and Emma sit in Granny’s while Kristoff and David catch up and Henry sits at the counter with Hook. They’re considering how they might find their way back to Arendelle, but Emma can’t seem to focus on the conversation at hand.

She has been trying to muster up the courage to talk to Henry for weeks now. Killian rarely lets her forget that she’ll be starting to show very soon, constantly placing his warm hand over her 14-week, not-quite-there-yet baby bump. She wants to tell Henry, she really does, but something in her keeps stopping her. Archie says she fears that she will somehow damage their relationship, and she knows he must be right. He also agrees with Killian that this pregnancy is bringing up some unresolved trauma from her past. What a shock, she thinks.

Talking to Archie has been hard. She told him all about her past; about how she was pregnant and abandoned in prison for a crime she didn’t commit, about how she gave birth while chained to a hospital bed a couldn’t bear to look at her son. She cries a lot during their sessions together, and she knows it isn’t really pregnancy related (now that she’s officially reached her second trimester, her symptoms have been a lot less obnoxious). They’ve been working together for about a month now, and she still cries every time. But every time she starts to apologize, he stops her to thank her for letting him in and for allowing him to understand how she’s feeling. It’s weird, but she thinks she likes it. It’s... what’s the word he always uses? Validating.

“Hopefully I can get another portal working,” Elsa says, drawing Emma out of her thoughts.

Emma nods in response. Elsa finally found a clue of where her sister went when she found Princess Aurora back in the Enchanted Forest, who told her about the curse and that many people were trapped in another realm. “I’m sure you can.”

“Someone is distracted,” she says with a smirk sent Emma’s way, and she hears Anna laugh lightly in agreement.

“I don’t think she’s heard a single word we’ve said, Elsa.”

“I’m sorry,” she says in response. “You’re right, I am distracted. There’s a lot going on right now.”

Elsa nods and Anna smiles sweetly to her, taking a sip from her mug. It’s started to get really chilly out with Christmas just two weeks away, so Emma has successfully turned her new friends on to the wonder that is hot chocolate. “You still haven’t talked to your son, have you?”

Emma smiles softly, briefly, and shakes her head. She and Elsa have become fast friends since they met several weeks ago, and she finds that Elsa can read her almost as well as Killian can. “No,” she says. “I still don’t know how.”

“Well,” Elsa starts, reaching across the table and taking Emma’s hands in hers. “I suppose I don’t know much about your situation. I’ve never been pregnant, and I don’t have any children, but I am the daughter of parents who neglected to tell me the truth for much of my life. Trust me when I say it would have been better for me if they had told me the truth.”

Emma nods, shooting another glance at Henry. He’s laughing at something Killian said, and Killian’s eyes are lighting up as if he’s happier than he’s ever been. “You’re right. I know I have to tell him eventually. I can’t exactly keep hiding it.” As if on instinct, she removes one hand from Elsa’s and reaches it down to rest it against her miniscule bump concealed by a thick sweater.

Much later that night, she finds herself in bed with her pirate again, his hand running soothingly up and down along her the bare skin of her belly as she nestles her back against his front. He continues to press soft kisses against the back of her neck, his nose nuzzling behind her ear, drawing a breathy laugh from her every so often.

“You’re growing, love. Every day the little blob gets bigger and bigger, and soon I’ll finally be able to see him.”

“Or her,” she amends, hoping to keep an open mind. She corrects him pretty often when he mentions the baby being a boy, but in reality, she thinks it’s a boy, too.

“Aye,” he says, kissing her neck again. “Tuesday will be 15 weeks. The applications say you should be getting bigger now that you’re feeling better and the baby is growing more. She’ll be the size of a pear.”

“Apps,” she says with a laugh as she squeezes his hand. “You're cute. And I am getting bigger. I think I have a bump, it’s just hard to distinguish it from regular bloating.”

He hums. “You're rather slight to begin with, love. I believe soon you’ll start to show much more, if the apps are correct.”

“Slight?” she laughs.

“Slim, slender, small,” he says, trailing off and obviously attempting to not offend her.

“Mhmm,” she says. “I was small with Henry, too, but I was probably a bit malnourished.”

“Well, we won’t allow that, now will we, Swan? Perhaps I should go and get you some fruit? You may need it to revive yourself after all that vigorous lovemaking.”

She snorts, reaching behind her to pinch the skin of his hip.

“I would like some fruit, actually. And some Cheez-Its.”

“Sounds like a nice compromise, darling. I’ll be back shortly,” he says, standing and exposing his bare ass to her. She reaches for it quickly and pinches him again, drawing a yelp from him as he leaves the room.

She rolls over onto her back once he leaves, glancing down at her belly and stroking it in small, soft circles. He’s right, she is going to start getting bigger very soon, and it’ll become harder and harder to hide. With this knowledge, she’s faced with the truth: she’ll need to tell Henry, and soon.

~~~~

A week later, when she finally breaks down and realizes that she needs to buy new jeans, she accepts the fact that it’s time. Henry has to know, no matter how he may react. This should be one hell of a Christmas present for him.

She picks him up from Regina’s on Sunday morning, promising him breakfast and cocoa from Granny’s. The moment he hops into the car, she can tell that he’s in a good mood.

“Hey kid,” she says with a smile as he bounces into his seat.

“Hey mom!”

“You're in a good mood today,” she points out.

“Yeah, my mom and dad have been talking about Christmas. I might be getting two Christmases this year!”

“Oh,” she starts, startled by his exclamation as she pulls out of Regina’s driveway. “you mean with Regina and your dad? Because you can spend Christmas with me and your grandparents, too.”

“Really?” The excitement in his voice is more than evident. “Awesome! That’s three Christmases!”

“Yeah.” She smiles over at him, hopeful that his good mood will extend as they arrive at Granny’s. “Come on, kid. Let’s get some waffles, I’ve been craving them all week. And nothing is gonna keep me away from Granny’s hot chocolate now that I can finally drink it again.”

“What do you mean, again?”

Oops. She falters, then says, “nothing, come on.”

Once they're inside and seated, Ruby brings over a mug for Henry and gives Emma a look, as if asking if she wants any, and Emma nods.

“So,” she finally says, once they have full plates set in front of them. “We need to talk.”

He clears his throat around his too-big bite of waffle and looks up at her, his eyes wide. “Am I in trouble?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “No, you're not in trouble, kid. Just… it’s just that things are changing around here, and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

“You mean like you dating Captain Hook?”

“Yeah,” she says tentatively. “Sort of like that; I guess this relates to that.”

“Okay… so what is it? Is this about my dad? I know you guys aren’t together, you know.”

“No, I know. It's not that either, Henry. It’s… I’m… Hook and I…” She inhales more deeply than she knew she could, reaching down to her mug and taking a long sip.

“Mom, whatever’s going on, it’s okay.”

She smiles up at him. Leave it up to her kid to be more mature than her. “Henry… you're going to be… you're going to be a big brother,” she finally spits out before immediately going back to her hot chocolate, her ability to look him in the eye failing her.

“Wait… you mean…?”

“I’m going to have a baby. In June.”

She still can’t look at him, still hides behind her mug, but when he speaks, she thinks she can hear a smile in his voice. “Really?”

When she finally finds it in herself to look up, she does see a smile gracing his face. “Yeah,” she says, matching his expression with her own.

“I’m gonna be a big brother,” he confirms.

“Yeah, you are, kid.”

He laughs now, standing up and walking around the table to sit on his knees next to her in the booth, wrapping her in a hug. “This is awesome!” he says into her ear, and she swears she feels tears stinging the back of her eyes, even though she thought she was past this particular symptom.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah! Of course! Is it a boy or a girl?”

“I don’t know yet,” she grins. “We can find out in a few weeks when I go to the doctor.” His face is still alight, and she’s in awe of his reaction. “Henry,” she breathes out, shaking her head. “Are you sure you're… alright with this?”

His draws his brows together, as she often does, and cocks his head to the side. “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, because of…” she starts, looking down from his eyes again and reaching for her mug. “Because of what happened. Because of what I did—when I had you.” She’s surprised at herself for even getting the words out, and she thinks that Archie will be proud of her when she sees him on Wednesday.

“Mom, I thought we talked about this when you came to Storybrooke? I know why you did that.”

She nods, still in awe of his maturity. “I know, but I didn’t want you to think that I'm replacing you. This baby wasn’t planned or anything, but… well, we’re planning on keeping him or her. And I don’t want to make you feel…”

He takes her hand in his, and she finally finds it in herself to look up at him, to meet his eyes with hers, and she sees joy. “You gave me up to give me my best chance. You were in jail; you couldn’t have raised me. But now you're happy and you're in a good place. Don’t you know what that means?” She shakes her head, feeling more childish than her own child. “It means that you're this baby’s best chance now.”

She does feel tears burning her eyes now, the heat of them dripping down onto her cheeks at the sound of his words. “Henry,” she starts, choking on words before they can leave her tongue.

“I’m not a kid anymore, mom. I know that things have changed between now and when you had me.”

She lets out a breath, finding it hard not to laugh at the wise words coming from her son. “You are perceptive, aren’t you?”

“Well, my mom is a bail bondsperson, I guess it runs in the family.”

~~~~

Emma Swan was never very fond of Christmas. Normally viewed as a holiday spent with family, Christmas has been a dark mark on Emma’s past for as long as she could remember. Although she was in Storybrooke last year, she had only arrived a few weeks prior and the curse was not yet broken, so there wasn’t much celebration taking place. The obvious lack of decorations and Christmas spirit should have struck her as odd, but she didn’t think much of it at the time. Now, she realizes that no one who grew up in the Enchanted Forest celebrated the religious holiday. However, now that she’s here and her parents remember her, they are determined to give her a happy holiday season.

They plan to spend Christmas day together tomorrow, but for tonight, she and Killian will be spending Christmas Eve alone in his apartment, and they start by decorating a tree. Killian is determined to give her an authentic Christmas experience as well, and so far, he’s delivering.

He curses as he rounds the tree over and over, trying his hardest to string the lights properly as she stands off to the side and holds the strands for him. “Bloody hell,” he says as he gets stuck with another needle. “Wasn’t there an option for a non-living tree? That might not hurt quite as much.”

“This is my first real Christmas, Killian. I need to have a real tree.”

“The whole tree tradition seems silly to me,” he counters as he pokes his head out from behind again, the lights finally reaching the top.

“That’s because you keep getting poked.”

“Aye, well, perhaps the task would be easier for someone with two hands.”

She rolls her eyes with a soft laugh. “Come on, I have never heard you use that as an excuse, don’t start now.”

He rolls his eyes too, smirking over at her as he takes a box of red and blue ornaments from her, balancing it on his left arm and hanging them with his right. If there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s compensating for his missing hand.

Once the tree is filled with colorful balls and lit with twinkling white lights, they make their way to the kitchen to work on making cookies, and it takes everything in Emma not to eat the dough each time she breaks a piece off. She elected to buy both the kinds decorated with reindeer and with Santa, figuring the more the merrier.

“These are horrible for you, Swan. The amount of sugar…”

“They're sugar cookies!”

“There’s absolutely no nutritional value. Perhaps we shouldn’t have bought two packages.”

She rolls her eyes again as she opens the hot oven and places the tray inside, trading it for a batch of freshly baked treats. The smells wafts over her nose and fills his kitchen, making her mouth water.

“Please, I plan on eating so many of these that I give birth to a gingerbread baby,” she deadpans to him, pulling a cookie from the parchment and tossing it from one hand to another in hopes of cooling it down before hoisting herself onto the counter.

“That makes no sense, love. You just told me these are sugar cookies, why would you have gingerbread?”

“It’s a children’s book,” she says, grinning to him as she finally takes a bite, saying a quick goodbye to poor Rudolph.

He chuckles, rounding the corning so that he was standing between her knees and placing a hand against her waist. “Perhaps the little love will enjoy that story.”

She giggles—actually giggles—as she presses a soft kiss to his lips. God, she is so gone for him, it’s scary. “Perhaps.”

With his hand running up and down along her waist, finally landing on her ass, he pulls her to the edge of the counter so that she can feel the heat of him against her center through her leggings.

“We don’t have time to do this before the movie comes on,” she reminds him as his soft lips trail along the length of her neck.

“Hmm,” he hums, “perhaps not, but I think it may be worth it.”

She groans when he nips at her ear lobe, then traces the line of her pulse with his tongue. “After.”

He backs away slightly, letting out a sigh and pecking her on the tip of her nose. “As you wish, darling, but I hope you're prepared for what’s to come after this wonderful movie.”

“It’s called It’s a Wonderful Life, you don’t have to be sarcastic,” she says with a laugh, taking his hand and hopping off of the counter. He heads over to the couch and fetches her favorite throw blanket while she takes the last tray of cookies from the oven, then places the cooler ones on a plate and carries them to the couch.

“Sorry, love, I don’t want you to think I’m not happy to be here doing this with you. I’m honored that you wanted to celebrate with me.”

“Well,” she starts, plopping down next to him as he wraps the blanket around her tightly. “You are my baby daddy. I suppose there isn’t anyone else available who I’d rather spend my evening with.”

“Ah, so I’m the best available option, is that it?” he asks with a laugh, squeezing her tightly in his arms and pressing a firm and lingering kiss to her temple.

“Yes, well, my son is with his mother.”

“I’m only teasing, darling. I am truly glad to have you here this evening. And evidently, this film is a classic, or so my baby mama will have me believe.”

She turns her head, unable to move much in the security of his arms and draws her brows tightly together. “Where the hell did you hear that?”

“Our dear friend, Ruby,” he says as the commercial ends and the movie starts. “She asked me this morning how my baby mama was feeling today.”

“I never told her,” she mumbles.

“According to her, she’s very perceptive, and you're horrible at hiding it.”

“Shit.”

“The little peach will be able to hear us soon, Swan, if they can’t already; we may need to find new vocabulary.”

She scoffs, unsure of her ability to not swear, especially during labor and delivery, and turns her focus back onto the movie.

Killian seems to like it, and Emma assumes that it’s slightly easier for him to watch because of the lack of twenty-first century technology getting in his way. She’s always had a soft spot for the film, perhaps because she always hoped to find her family. She knew that she wouldn’t take advantage of it like George Bailey did.

He runs his hand up and down her arm when she cries at the end, kissing her temple and her ear. “That was sweet,” he says as the credits begin to roll.

“It was always my favorite. They based Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street on those characters, you know.”

“I don’t know what that means,” he whispers against her hair, and she feels another kiss against the crown of her head.

“You will in a year or two, trust me.” He chuckles and she turns in his arms so that she’s facing him. “I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Swan,” he argues, but she’s standing anyway, struggling slightly with her hips and back aching after sitting for so long. She heads for his coat closet and returns with a few wrapped rectangles, thrusting them towards him as she plops back down.

He looks to her before peeling the tape away from one of them, unwrapping them carefully and not even tearing the paper. It threatens to drive her insane, but it’s so painfully Killian.

When he finally removes the festive paper, he smiles at the sight of the book’s cover art. “Peter Pan, why the bloody hell would I want to read this,” he says jokingly through a laugh, hugging her into his side and kissing her cheek.

“It’s more of a gag gift, I thought you might want to learn about this world’s depiction of you. The others are probably going to be more enjoyable.” He opens the other two, revealing Treasure Island and Robinson Crusoe. “They're pirate books,” she explains. “There are movies you might like, too, but I thought you’d want to start with the books.”

“Aye, love, I’d love to. I look forward to reading them.” He kisses her softly, his tongue slipping along her bottom lip. “Thank you, love,” he nearly whispers, his voice rough and deep.

“It’s nothing,” she breathes out, overwhelmed by the gravel in his voice.

“It was a wonderful gesture,” he kisses her once more. “I got you something as well.”

She shakes her head, but he catches her jaw in his hand and kisses her again before standing and making his way to his bedroom. He returns quickly with a giftbag stuffed with tissue paper.

“Did you have help wrapping this?” she grins.

“Aye, Granny gave me a hand.”

She laughs at the picture in her head and takes the bag as he hands it to her. She removes some of the tissue and pulls out a maroon leather jacket, drawing a grin along her face. “I don’t have one in this color,” she points out, looking up at him and cocking her head to the side.

“There’s more in the bag, love.”

She looks down again, her attention being brought back to the gift bag as she digs her hand in deeper and feels more leather near the bottom. She pulls gently, expecting it to come out with more difficulty than it does. When she removes the item, she realizes it’s because she wasn’t tugging on a leather jacket made for a fully-grown woman.

What she pulls out of the bag instead is a tiny leather jacket, the same color as the one that was just gifted to her. A matching leather jacket for a matching tiny human.

“Killian,” she says, her grin somehow growing and her cheeks burning. “This is… this is so adorable.” She’s laughing as she holds the jacket up again, then she stands and holds it up against her tiny bump. “It’s perfect, look!”

He’s laughing now too, standing with her and placing his hand on her belly. “I’m glad you like it, love.”

“I do, I love it,” she says, nodding and looking up at him. Without thinking, she places the jacket back down on the couch and reaches her arms around his neck to link her hands in his hair, pulling him down to her for a soft kiss that eventually turns heated when his tongue runs along hers.

Before she knows it, her legs are around his waist and he’s carrying her out of the living room and down the hall before gently laying her down on his king-sized bed. It was certainly an improvement from his small bunk on the Jolly Roger, and if she thought she was sleeping well there, she had a new thing coming when she started sleeping here.

He trails his lips along her body, lifting her to remove her festive sweater and kiss along the cleavage peeking out of her bra. She lifts again, undoing the hooks for him and releasing her breasts for him to ravage before he trails his lips and teeth and tongue down to her belly, pressing soft and loving kisses along the slight swell of skin before reaching to remove her leggings.

His tongue dances along her clit for several moments before he adds two fingers, drawing her to her peak quickly as he sucks and nips at her sensitive skin. She tugs on his hair, begging him to meet her lips with his before he’s pulling his clothes off and sinking into her tenderly. His thrusts are gentle yet precise, and she’s nearly driven mad at the feel of his scruffy face dragging along the sensitive skin of her neck. He continues to drive into her, reaching his hand down to where they're joined to rub quick circles against her aching clit, drawing moans and screams from her parted lips as she finally flutters and clenches around his throbbing cock.

It’s as he finishes, his face buried into her neck just below her ear, his hand squeezing hers above her head as her other scratches marks into his back, that she hears it. His lips press against her neck as he lets out moans and words of encouragement before she hears him whisper, “I love you,” into her sensitive skin.

She’s in a post-coital daze, but she knows she doesn’t imagine it. She knows she heard it without a doubt in her mind, and although her breath catches and her body tenses, her heart still beating rapidly, she doesn’t pull away from him. She doesn’t try to run.

“Fuck,” he whispers, and she knows that he didn’t mean to let it slip. “I’m—” he starts, but he doesn’t seem to have anything to say.

“Killian,” she whispers, running her hands along his back and through his hair. “It’s alright.”

“I didn’t, uh,” he starts, perhaps suddenly realizing that he’s still inside her as he presses his body up from hers and reaches for the box of tissues by the bed. “I didn’t exactly mean to let that out just then.”

“I figured,” she says with a smile, accepting the tissue he hands her and cleaning herself up.

“It wasn’t exactly… how I’d planned to tell you. But… Emma, you must know that I meant it.”

Now she panics slightly, a bit surprised at herself for only becoming scared once she receives confirmation that this is, in fact, how he feels. “You did?”

“Aye, very much so. I realize that you may not be ready to say it back, which is why I wasn’t going to say it any time soon, but…” he trails off, still struggling to make eye contact with her, which she doesn’t mind. He takes the tissues from her and tosses them into the bin before taking a seat next to her. “I don’t expect you to say it back. But I need you to know that I meant it. And it’s not just because of the babe. He’s certainly helped to… solidify things… but how I feel is independent of this little bugger.”

She considers this. Considers saying something in response. It would be the emotionally mature thing to do, and she’s certainly been working on her emotional maturity lately. But she has no idea what to say, and now she’s starting to think about how she truly feels about him. About how he truly feels about her. Now, she’s starting to worry that she may love him too.

Is worry the right word?

Before she can say anything, she feels a soft flutter in her stomach, as if she’s the host to a flock butterflies and they're trying to take off. She immediately lets her eyes bug out, reaching down to her belly and pressing softly into it in hopes that she’ll feel more. “Killian,” she says, pulling on his hand and placing it under hers. It’s silly, she knows; he can’t feel anything yet. But she wants him to be a part of this. “I felt him.”

“He moved?” he asks with a smile thick in his voice.

“He was fluttering just a second ago,” she responds, grinning as she looks at him with tears in her eyes. “You won’t be able to feel it yet, but…”

“Aye,” he whispers, finally meeting her eyes with his glassy ones. He leans in to press another kiss to her lips before leaning down and kissing her belly. He whispers, “nice to hear from you, little one,” before kissing her skin again.

She laughs through her tears and squeezes his hand as it rests against their growing baby. She can’t bring herself to say anything to him yet. They haven’t even been together for very long, only about four months. Is that even enough time for someone to fall in love with someone else? With her?

She thinks of what Archie would say when she starts to doubt herself and whether she’s deserving of the love of another, using the skills he’s been teaching her to challenge her negative thoughts, then focuses back on her child and its father. Whether or not she thinks of herself as deserving of his love, or capable of loving him back, she sleeps soundly with the knowledge that she and Killian are both madly in love with the life they’ve created together.

~~~~

Emma Swan has never fully been able to relate to the term “like a kid on Christmas morning,” until she woke up on Christmas morning to Killian Jones with his head between her legs. That comparison may be slightly disturbed, but the feeling she’s experiencing now must be on par with how a child feels when they wake up to their dreams coming true.

He was determined to make this holiday season a good one for her, and so far, he’s off to a great start.

Her hips start to jolt upwards, and he reaches his hand up and places it gently on her belly to still her before he laces his fingers with hers. He continues to draw thick strips between her folds, the sounds coming from him absolutely sinister and drawing loud moans from her lips. His tongue zips from side to side over her clit before he starts sucking it into his mouth and releasing it with a pop, making her hips jump again.

Eventually, she drags their hands downward so that she can let go and lace her fingers through his hair once his own reach her opening and press inside. He doesn’t bother to tease her open with just one, seemingly able to read that she’s more than ready to take two of his thick fingers. He may regret letting go of her hips as she moves them with ferocity against his face and fingers, but it doesn’t seem like he minds as she feels the low buzz of his moans.

He makes her come so hard that, once she feels herself becoming lucid again, she starts laughing. It’s a soft chuckle at first, but then it morphs into uncontrollable hysterics until her eyes are watering and her face is red and hot. He starts laughing too, wiping his mouth and scooting himself up to her level to lie down and comb through the ends of her messy hair with his fingers.

“What’s funny, love?”

“I don’t know,” she laughs again. “I guess I was just thinking about what a nice Christmas present that was.” She’s laughed so hard now that she begins to cough, and he reaches towards the side of the bed and hands her a bottle of water.

“Glad you enjoyed,” he says with a smirk and a kiss to the tip of her nose as she hums out another laugh.

“I’m nervous,” she finally says once she’s settled down, sinking back into the thick comforter and into the warmth of his arms.

“For dinner? I thought things were better with your family now that you’ve spoken to your parents?”

She hums, nodding into his shoulder and turning onto her side, slotting her leg over his hips to hold onto him like a koala. “They are, but my mom invited Neal and Regina, plus Granny and Ruby. I get why—she wanted to make it feel like a true family dinner for Henry. But I still don’t really want to face Neal.”

He sighs, his blunted arm running gently along her bare back and his fingers tracing patterns into the back of her hand, and says, “you can still be upset, love. I’m not particularly fond of the idea myself, but you're right. It is a good idea for Henry’s sake.”

“You're always thinking about him,” she sighs, kissing his neck where she can reach it.

“Only because I’m always thinking about you.”

“Cheese,” she says, pinching the skin on his side, just above a rather nasty-looking scar.

Once they're showered and dressed festively, they head over to Mary Margaret and David’s loft for dinner. She never did understand the concept of calling it dinner, since they arrived at noon and they’ll likely eat at one-thirty, but she lets it slide. She’s realizing that there are a lot of things about Christmas that she doesn’t understand, but she’s trying to roll with it.

The loft is decorated to the nines, covered from floor to ceiling in red and gold. The tree is sitting in the corner by the stairs, and it’s so tall that it almost reaches the second level, and Emma wonders how on earth they got it up the stairs and through the door. It looks beautiful, as if it should be featured in a magazine that she sees at the dentist office.

Mary Margaret, dressed in a red and gold sweater and black skirt and covered with an apron that makes her look like an elf, rushes over to the door when they arrive and embraces the two of them in a warm hug. “I’m so happy to see you both!” she exclaims excitedly into Emma’s hair. She returns her hug with one arm, smiling despite herself.

“Me too,” Emma responds truthfully with a small squeeze.

“Killian, you look positively dashing in red,” she says to him, taking in his royal red vest and making his cheeks turn pink. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him wear it, and when she found it in the closet and insisted that he put it on, he cringed and groaned and argued. But when he pulled it over his black button down, she grinned in a way that must have broken him down. “And look at you, Emma! You look so beautiful in emerald.”

“Thank you,” she says softly, pulling away and brushing down the front of her figure-hugging cowlneck dress and making her way towards the stool at the counter. “Where’s David?”

“Oh, he forgot to get the champagne yesterday, so I sent him out for it. I also asked him to get some sparkling cider for you, Emma, so you can be part of the toast.”

She laughs lightly, feeling Killian’s arm resting along the top of her shoulders and his body sliding to her left. “Thanks.”

Her father comes home, giving her a tight hug and shaking Killian’s hand before wishing them both a Merry Christmas. When Henry finally arrives with Regina, she grins at the outfit she has him in. He’s wearing a black three-piece suit with an emerald tie that perfectly matches Emma’s sweater dress, and she couldn’t have planned something better. “Hey kid,” she says, reaching out to him for a tight hug.

“Hi mom,” he says into her shoulder. “Merry Christmas.”

They separate a bit, and she takes his face in her hands and looks at him lovingly before reaching up to gently feel his gel-cast hair and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. He looks like a tiny gentleman and her hormonal heart can’t handle it. “You look so handsome, Henry.”

He puts his arms out at his side and spins. “Thanks. Do you like my new suit? My dad helped pick it out.”

Ugh, she thinks, before shoving the thought to the back of her mind for the sake of her son. “He did great.”

“And look, the tie matches you!”

She nods back at him with a grin before kissing his forehead once more and releasing him, determined not to press her luck with the amount of affection he allows her to show. He is nearly a pre-teen, after all.

Plus, soon enough, she’ll have another kid to dote over.

She grins at that thought.

Ruby and Granny arrive soon after, both giving her a hug. Granny surprisingly hugs Killian first, although he doesn’t seem that taken aback by the gesture, then comes to Emma and runs a hand over her belly briefly and shooting her a sweet smile. It’s as if the world has shifted on its axis.

Regina walks over to her, much to her continued surprise, and wishes her a Merry Christmas. She thanks Emma for letting Henry spend the night at her house, telling her that he had a great time eating sweets and watching Elf, and that he was very excited to come down the stairs to presents under the tree this morning. “Well, I suppose that congratulations are in order,” she says somewhat awkwardly, finally making eye contact with Killian before turning back to Emma and glancing down for a moment.

“Oh,” Emma says in surprise. “You heard.”

“Henry told me.” Emma almost makes a snarky comment about being surprised that Neal didn’t spill the beans. “You should know that he’s veryexcited.”

Emma smiles and Killian squeezes her knee as if to say I told you so, Swan. “He is?”

“Oh, yes. He thinks that he’s going to have a baby sister.”

Emma feels a grin splitting her face at that, and suddenly feels overwhelmed by the image of Henry holding a tiny pink bundle, leaning down to kiss her nose, talking to her about magic and curses and fairy tales. “Thank you,” she says after a moment. “That’s… very comforting.”

“Yes, well…” Regina trails off, stiffening again and pursing her red-stained lips. “Best wishes to you both.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Killian says diplomatically.

When Neal arrives, Emma wishes she could indulge in some champagne like the rest of the adults in the room.

Watching him with Henry is reassuring, at least. He’s proven himself to be a fairly devoted father, now that he’s in his son’s life, and she knows that she can’t hold their past over his head forever. She also knows that she isn’t ready to fully forgive him yet, but she can put their history to the side for the sake of their son… today.

At least, that’s what she had hoped, until he came up to her and put his hand on her shoulder, making her flinch. “Hey, Ems,” he says, miraculously able to read her body language and removing his hand.

“Hey.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, thanks. You too.” She glances down at her flute of cider, wishing again that she could magically turn it into champagne to take some of the edge off.

“You look great.” She sighs, fighting the urge to roll her eyes, and instead doesn’t give him a response. “Emma, look. Since the pirate seems to finally be out of earshot, I wanted to come over and talk to you.”

She feels the heat of anger burning through her veins, her eye twitching and her fingers clenching firmly on her glass at his judgmental remark. “You're not off to a great start,” she says stiffly.

“Sorry, that was rude, I guess. What I meant was, I wanted to talk to you privately.”

“Okay,” she says tentatively. “What is it?”

He takes in a breath and lets it out roughly, taking a seat in the empty stool to her right. “I wanted to apologize. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I realized how stupid and selfish I was of me to go to you like I did. And for me to assume that the baby was mine. Like, that was really stupid.”

“Yeah, it was,” she agrees, not feeling like sugarcoating it. He’s right, it was stupid and selfish. Like, extremely stupid.

He laughs lightly, which only serves to piss her off more, and continues. “I guess I just got really jealous. I thought you and I could have worked out eventually, and he said he’s back off. I mean, we have a kid together,” he says with a laugh.

“Right, we do, and that’s great. But now I’m having a kid with someone else and you and I are over. We’ve been over for twelve years.”

“Yeah. I know that now. I'm sorry, Ems.”

She nods, still struggling to look him in the eye. It’s not exactly what she wanted to hear from him, but she supposes it’s a start. “I appreciate your apology, Neal, but I’m still gonna need some time. I can’t just forget about everything overnight.”

“I know, I know. Take your time. Just know that I’m here for you and Henry for whatever either of you need.”

She wants to roll her eyes. What could she possibly need from him? Henry, sure. She’s glad that he wants to be there for him. But her? He’s just being pompous. He’s probably expecting Killian to walk out on her the same way he did.

“Hey, are your parents okay? They seem kind of off today.”

She almost smiles, but fights it back, not wanting to be petty on Christmas. “They seem fine to me.”

“Well, I don’t know why it would just be me.”

Screw it, she thinks. “Maybe it’s because I told them about what happened between us.”

“Well, your mom knows I thought the baby was mine.”

“Not that,” she says, and she does roll her eyes this time. The idea that he genuinely thought that this baby could have been his still astounds her, the idiot. “I told them about what happened before. You know, when you left me pregnant in jail for your crime.”

“You did what?” he hisses.

“Oh, I told them what happened.”

“Why? You know I didn’t have a choice!”

She hums, still looking down at her hands and trying hard to fight the smile. “If you didn’t have a choice, then there shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

“You're still making me look bad to my kid’s grandparents,” he spits out in a low tone.

“Oh, I’m making you look bad?” He’s triggered something in her now, making her whip her head in his direction and raise her voice just a touch too high. “It’s just like I said. If you didn’t have a choice, then your conscience should be clear. Doesn’t that mean you did nothing wrong?”

Before he has a chance to respond, Mary Margaret calls everyone to the table. She certainly would have continued to argue with him, but she keeps the spirit of Christmas alive in her mind.

Unlike the last time the entire family was sat around this table, her assigned seat is next to Killian’s. She also has Henry on her right, so she thinks she couldn’t be more pleased with the arrangement until Neal takes his seat across from her. It’s alright, though, she’s focusing on a positive attitude today, for the sake of their son.

“Before we begin,” David says, standing up once everyone has found their seats. “I wanted to propose a toast. Firstly, to Henry, for spending his first Christmas with his family, sans curse. The same could be said for Emma as well,” he lifts his glass and everyone at the table does the same, murmuring in agreement and passing around smiles. “I also wanted to say a thank you to my lovely wife, Snow, for graciously hosting this dinner for our family.” More murmurs and raised glasses. “And I believe she has something to say here as well?”

Mary Margaret stands now, holding her glass but not raising it quite yet, and each person at the table turns to face her. “Thank you, honey. I wanted to say a few words to Emma and Killian.” In surprise, Emma purses her lips and cocks up an eyebrow. “As I believe everyone here is aware, the two of them are expecting a baby in the middle of June.” She sees Ruby and Granny smirking at her from across the table. “When I first heard the news, I was surprised, and I didn’t handle it very well.” Mary Margaret is looking squarely at the two of them, and Emma thinks she can see her eyes glassing over as she speaks. “I wanted to say, to my daughter, I feel so much joy when I think about you having another child. I’m so sorry that my response at first wasn’t anywhere near what it should have been, especially coming from your mother. Now that I’ve gotten over the shock, I hope to support you in any way that I can. I cannot wait to meet my grandbaby and to see you as a mother again.” Emma’s eyes sting now as she smiles up at her.

“And to Hook…” she swallows, clearing her throat before continuing. “To Killian, thank you. I can see clearly now the way that you treat our daughter—like the princess that she is.” She chuckles a bit before continuing. “This pregnancy may not have been planned in the slightest, but the amount of love and respect you have for Emma is palpable each time I see the two of you together.” She smiles at each of them before going on. “I also wanted to apologize to him. David and I were not exactly accepting of him when we first heard the news, myself especially. But, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that everyone deserves a second chance. And if there’s one person I know who has proven himself deserving of a second chance, it’s you. If the way that you treat my daughter is any indication, you will be a wonderful father.” She’s looking directly at him when she raises her glass, adorning him with a soft grin as a tear slips from her eye. Emma squeezes his knee this time, feeling the tears burning her eyes and heating up her cheeks as they fall.

“To Emma and Killian,” David takes over. “May their baby be healthy and happy, wanting for nothing.” Each person at the table brings their glasses to the center, clinking them together and giving her and Killian soft smiles. She doesn’t bother to look in Neal’s direction. “Now, let’s eat!”

~~~~

The weeks fly by, the new year coming and going, and before they know it, it’s the middle of January and Emma is twenty weeks pregnant. Killian was right when he said she would start to show soon—her belly has grown into a formidable bump, and the two of them can’t seem to stop themselves from touching it whenever they can.

She really needs him to stop touching it now, though, because she knows the ultrasound technician will be in any moment and she doesn’t want them to walk in on him tickling her like he is now.

Her symptoms have been relatively easy since starting the second trimester, the worst of them being the cramps she gets in her legs and her near debilitating heartburn. She remembers the heartburn from her pregnancy with Henry, but the muscle cramps are worse than she can recall. She’s been dealing with heartburn by eating small meals pretty frequently, and she finds herself to be hungry very frequently now that her horrible morning sickness is finally at bay. According to Killian's applications, she's gained a healthy amount of weight so far.

The anatomy scan is important and exciting, though they still haven’t decided if they want to know the sex. She’s looking forward to seeing the baby again and learning about its growth and development, hopeful that everything is going as it should. They’ve had many conversations back and forth, but they can’t seem to come to a conclusion on whether they should find out what, or who, she’s carrying.

They both sort of suspect that she’s having a boy, although they have absolutely no reasoning behind their thoughts. Henry is convinced that he’s going to have a baby sister, and she’s considering finding out just for him.

When the sonographer arrives, Killian sits back, finally moving to stop annoying her. She greets them happily, asks how things are going, and reaches for the cold gel before applying it to her bare bump. She scans the wand over her belly, showing them the baby’s face and body and organs as she notes things down and takes measurements. The process is a long one, and it seems to take hours of rubbing and pressing and Emma turning from side to side before she finally gets all of the information she needs.

“I can see the sex of your baby— very easily. This little one is not very shy! Are you two interested in knowing what you're having?”

They look at each other and she shrugs and smiles. She genuinely doesn’t know, and now that it’s time to come to a decision, she can’t see to make one.

“If you’re having trouble deciding, I can write it on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope.”

Killian laughs and squeezes her hand, looking back over to the screen at the baby’s round face and perfectly sloped nose. “I like that idea, love,” he says to her, and she nods.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Once they're home—or should she say, back at Killian’s place— she takes the yellow envelope from her pocket and places it on the kitchen table. Maybe they’ll have some elaborate announcement or maybe she’ll just rip the envelope open one day, unable to wait any longer. Whatever they decide, she knows it’ll be perfect.

~~~~

Tagging:

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @profdanglaisstuff @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook

#Always By Your Side #it's about bloody time #captain swan #captain swan fanfic #captain swan smut #cs ff #cs smut #captain hook #killian jones #emma swan #season 3 divergence #canon divergence #neverland smut #or the aftermath of neverland smut #anti neal #anti baelfire #anti swanfire #it's christmas yall #my writing

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solar-bear · 3 years

Text

The New Addition

I make my way home from spending the afternoon with Allison and her children, it was a nice feeling like I was part of a family, even if it was for a short while. I sigh as I weave through the mass of beggars and refugees lining the dirt road leading back to the home I share with the cryomancer, I look around for a moment or two, searching for the young mother who was here earlier. It doesn’t take me long to spot her, her child crying in her arms, I make my way over to the pair and crouch down, offering my hand, “come with me. I can give the two of you a place to stay for a few days and at the very least give you some good food.”

She looks up at me, her face streaked with fresh tears, “I-I couldn’t repay you, I have nothing,” she says softly, her voice breaking as she tries to comfort her child.

“It doesn’t matter, you and your child need more than the streets provide, and while I can’t help you long term I can at least do something while my master is away,” I smile at her, pulling her to her feet, mindful of the child. The girl starts crying, whispering her thanks over and over as I lead them back to my modest dwelling, it’s not the fabulous manor house I had just come from visiting, but my little one-bedroom, stone house seemed like a palace to me after spending my youth in a cage. “Here, sit. I’ll fix you something,” I point to the small table and chairs just off the kitchen.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” she rocks her now slumbering child, “her father was killed in a raid on Earthrealm before Shang Tsung started sending his elite warriors to do the job.” She explains looking down at the child, the exhaustion evident in her face, “we were left with nothing, nowhere to stay, no money to feed her, absolutely nothing.”

I sigh as exhale to light the fire under the wok, I pour some oil into the large cast-iron wok and let it heat up as I grab some aromatics from the fridge and mince them finely before tossing them into the wok, “I know all about the raids, the master of this house is Sub-Zero, he’s currently away tracking down more of Earth’s champions. Every time he leaves I always fear he will befall the same fate,” I throw some meat and a good amount of mixed vegetables into the wok, stirring them with ease and precision.

I try and ignore the gasp from the girl, “S-Sub-Zero?” she asks, “I-I shouldn’t be here, what if he comes back?” She asks in a worried voice, hugging her small child closer.

“If he comes back early, I will deal with him. I’ve been by his side for 400 years, he will indulge my desire to help a mother and a child, I promise no harm will come to either of you,” I scoop a large serving of rice out of the rice cooker leftover from the morning. I add a simple mixture of broth and soy sauce to the quick stir fry before thickening it slightly with cornstarch before I scrap everything on top of the bowl of rice, not always the conventional way to serve a dish like this, Bi-Han would surely reprimand me, but it’s the ideal way to feed a starving girl who will no doubt shovel the food into her mouth. “Careful, it’s still hot. If you need more don’t hesitate to finish off the rice in the rice cooker,” I set the dish in front of her with a spoon and sit down at the table. “I’ll be happy to hold her while you eat,” I smile and hold my arms out.

The girl’s stomach growls loudly as she hesitantly hands her daughter over, “I-I’m sorry if she’s fussy, she’s not used to strangers.” She gives me an apologetic look, “thank you, for the meal,” she adds as she grabs the spoon and digs in, letting out a deeply satisfied groan as she takes her first bite. “I can’t remember the last time I had real food, let alone a proper meal, really I can’t thank you enough.”

I coo and rock the baby happily watching her mother eat, “really it’s no trouble, Sub-Zero and I have more than enough and look, woman to woman, I have a soft spot for children, so I really couldn’t leave the two of you out there with nothing.” I try not to give the girl too much information, and not ramble and tell her how much I wished to be a mother myself. “I’m guessing you don’t have any formula for her do you?” I ask rocking the child gently, humming softly.

She thickly swallows her bite, “n-no, I have nothing for her, for a while I was able to nurse her, but my body is becoming so malnourished I haven’t been able to produce enough milk for her.” She looks down at the bowl of food and ashamed before continuing to shovel the food into her mouth. “This is really good by the way, what are you? A professional cook or something?”

I laugh softly, “no, more like a professional housewife, without the ring,” I give her a small smile, “I am very fond of cooking though. Sub-Zero has a pretty healthy appetite, so I had to get good at cooking pretty quickly. We continue to chat and make small talk as the girl finishes her meal, I lay the child down in my bed while her mother goes to take a shower, when she’s finished I give her some of my clothes to wear. They’re a bit small on her due to my short, petite stature, but they’ll do, “here,” I start handing her some gold coins, “there’s a market down the street and around the corner, get what you need for your daughter and whatever essentials you need too, I’ll watch her. What’s her name?”

“Iza’ana,” she replies softly as she thanks me for the coins and kisses her daughter’s forehead, “be good little one,” she whispers and heads out the door.

Hours pass and the girl doesn’t return, eventually, I take Iza’ana with me and head to the marketplace to get what she needs, I ask everyone I see at the market if they’ve seen the girl, they all say no. I worry my bottom lip between my fangs as I purchase formula, diapers, clothes, bathing goods, anything and everything the girl could need, “he’s going to kill me,” I mutter to myself dragging the bags and child home with me.

The home is cold when I get back, “shit,” I whisper under my breath as I open the door and let myself in.

Bi-Han looks up at me wearily, I can tell he’s exhausted but not too banged up from the look of it, he just sits there, icing his cheek, “what is that Zhīhuá?”

I set the bags down and hold the girl on one hip as I pinch the bridge of my nose with the other hand and exhale loudly, “please don’t be mad aì rén, I brought her and her mother home a few hours ago and fed them, the mother left to get supplies for the girl but she never came back. Can I keep her, please aì rén? You know how desperately I’ve wanted a child, and this one basically just fell in my lap.” I beg and plead, giving Bi-Han the best puppy dog eyes I can as I feel the tears of desperate need watering in my eyes.

He sighs loudly with frustration, “well if she’s been abandoned I guess there’s nothing else we can do. I don’t like this Zhīhuá, you know how I feel about children.”

“I-I know Bi-Han, but I promise you won’t have to do anything for her, I’ll take full responsibility for her and take care of her and keep her out of your way as much as I can,” I rattle off frantically, my breathing is shallow and fast as I’m so close to getting what I always wanted.

Bi-Han grabs the child from me and sits her in his lap, “you don’t have to, she’s ours now, whether I want her or not. I’m not going to make you get rid of her, and I refuse to be like my father,” he makes a small rabbit out of ice in his hand to entertain the girl. “What’s her name?”

I don’t even hesitate when I answer, “Xiǎohán, that’s her name now, Xiǎohán,” I can’t help but cry tears of grateful joy as I see Bi-Han playing with our daughter.

“Hm, Xiǎohán huh? Trying to curry my favor by naming her after me huh?” His blue eyes twinkle with mischief as he pulls me close to kiss away the tears, “it’s working.”

(the photo is from google from a children's clothing website, it's not some random child lol)

#mortal kombat #sub zero #bi han #mk rp #bi han x zhīhuá #frozen dinosaur #canon x oc #mk #open rp

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elisaphoenix13 · 4 years

Text

Open Home, Open Arms

Stephen's Mama Bear senses tingles before the teenagers even stepped off of the elevator. Someone was upset and he soon discovered that it was Cassie when the elevator doors opened. He would have gotten up to approach her to make sure she was okay, but Valerie was currently in his lap and eating off of his plate full of veggie sticks. It had turned into a norm for him. He would make himself a snack and sit at the table with a book while he munched, and then suddenly have a lapful of his youngest daughter so she could eat off his plate. He was just glad that she ate what she took and didn't put it back on his plate.

"Cassie? What's wrong?" The sorcerer asks and the girl bites her lip.

Peter seemed to have been comforting her as they stepped off the elevator, and when they did, that was when Stephen noticed that it wasn't just the four usual kids returning from school. Ned and MJ were visiting as well. Cassie motions to Peter that she was okay, and the spiderling hesitates before letting her walk over to Stephen while he and Harley went up to Peter's room with Ned and MJ. Diana went to her usual spot at the coffee table to do her homework and then color or watch TV when she was finished. Stephen waits patiently as Cassie sits across from him at the table and they both smile when Valerie silently offers the older girl a carrot stick, which Cassie accepts with a quiet thank you.

"I think...I think one of my friends is living on the streets." Cassie finally elaborates before taking a bite of her carrot stick.

"Do you know why?" Stephen asks gently.

"He's in the system...and he's been having trouble with the latest family he was living with. He's come to school with bruises and-"

"Where is he now?" Stephen interrupts.

Not only was Mama Bear coming out, but the doctor in him was worried about Cassie's friend. From her explanation, her friend was very likely abused to the point that he risked living on the streets than to endure another night with his foster family. He was possibly malnourished, hurt, and who knew what else and Stephen wouldn't stand for it. His deeply ingrained maternal side wouldn't allow it.

"I think in an alley near my school." Cassie says quietly and Stephen stands with Valerie.

"Cub...will you be okay if I leave you with your brothers for a few minutes?" Stephen gently asks the little girl who nods in response. "I'll be right back." He assures Cassie as he takes his youngest daughter up to Peter's room. "Watch your sister for a few minutes please."

"Sure." Peter says and Harley pulls Valerie into his lap before the boys return their attention to the Lego set Ned brought. MJ was contently reading a book on Peter's bed.

"Thank you. Diana is down in the living room. Just keep an ear out for her. I'm leaving the door open so you can."

Stephen leaves the bedroom after another affirmation from the boys and walks back down the stairs to rejoin Cassie. When she gives him an approximate location to her friend's location, the sorcerer opens a gateway and they step through to search for him. Cassie leads the way to the alleyway she last saw her friend, and when they walk a few feet into it, Stephen stops completely in his tracks.

Not because of the black-haired teenager sitting against the alley wall and visibly doing his homework...but because of the magic Stephen could sense coming off the boy in waves. Did he harm his foster parents in an attempt to defend himself and ran once he revealed his powers? Or was his previous assumption correct?

"William?" Cassie calls softly and the boy startles before looking over at them.

"Cass? What are you doing here?" He asks timidly and with some suspicion.

"I brought Mo--er...Dr. Strange. I had a feeling you needed help."

"Are you here by choice or because you have to be?" Stephen asks William.

"Choice." He admits quietly. "We couldn't handle another day there."

"We?" Both Stephen and Cassie ask simultaneously and William nods.

"My twin brother is with me...well…getting food I think."

As if on cue, another boy with platinum blonde hair passes Cassie and Stephen to stand between them and William.

"I recognize Cassie. Who's the guy?"

Stephen clears his throat. "Doctor Strange. I could give you a handful of titles I hold at home but perhaps Sorcerer Supreme is the best one at this time. I protect this reality...and I can sense William's magic." The twins look at Stephen in surprise and then at Cassie. "She'll keep your secret. For now, would you two like to come stay in the Avengers Tower with us? You'll be safe there."

The twins look at each other and then William stands up with his and his brother's belongings. "...really?"

"As long as you obey the rules. There are a couple of magic users that can help you with your magic, including myself." Stephen turns to the other boy. "Do you have any abilities?"

"I can run really fast." He shrugs.

"What's your name?" The sorcerer asks.

"Thomas. My friends call me Tommy."

Stephen nods and turns to the side to open a gateway back to the tower. He motions the three teenagers through, Cassie being the first, and once they step through, Stephen follows them and closes the gateway behind them. The twins jump when Athena growls at them from the living room, but Stephen immediately calms her.

"It's alright. They're friends." He soothes and the wolf relaxes from her defensive stance to walk to Stephen's side.

"You have a wolf for a pet?" Thomas asks.

"Yes and no. She's more of a companion." Stephen explains as he pets Athena's head. "How does pizza sound? I already have two extra teenagers to feed and I don't really feel like cooking today. You can meet everyone at dinner."

Thomas and William nod and the sorcerer asks Friday to order the usual pizza order with a couple extra before directing the twins to the living room. The moment they sit on the couch and crack open their books again, Diana looks up from her spot on the floor and studies them curiously. Stephen would bet money that she could sense the magic coming off of William as well. She doesn't ask or say anything for the time being and Cassie turns to Stephen with a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Mom."

"You're welcome. I'll have to figure out where they'll stay after breaking the news to Tony." Stephen says with a smirk and Cassie giggles.

"Good luck with that. I'll go do my homework with them."

Stephen nods and takes the stairs up to Peter's room and smiles when he opens the door and Valerie immediately reaches for him. If he didn't immediately come get her after coming back home and she found out, she would be upset. She was very much the Mama's girl that everyone claimed her to be. Stephen picks her up and thanks the boys before informing the teens about pizza being in the way, then takes Valerie back down to clean up their vegetable plate they had left behind. He could always store the remaining pieces away and eat them at a later time.

"Hey Duchess." Tony greets when he steps off the elevator and joins his spouse in the kitchen. "I have some new upgrades for your suit so I'll need your--" Tony stops in his brief rambling when he looks toward the living room and sees the new teenagers with Cassie and Diana. "Who are they?"

"William and Thomas. They'll be staying in the tower."

Tony gives him a look. "Honey...you can't adopt every kid you come across."

"They were living in an alleyway. Besides, they have powers." Stephen huffs. "I was thinking of having them stay down with Wanda and Vision if they're okay with it."

"Oh...alright. I guess I'll have Pepper bring the proper paperwork so guardianship can be given to us." Tony scratches his goatee as he thinks to himself and Stephen smiles before kissing him.

"Thank you."

Pizza came not long after and the rest of the team were called up for a mandatory dinner so they could meet the twins. To no surprise, they were welcomed with open arms and quickly treated as family, and the twins visibly relaxed. Wanda and Vision agreed to let them stay in the extra rooms on their floor, and the witch was excited to have someone to cook for. Of course she periodically cooked for the whole team, but the idea that she could just cook for a couple of people every day was appealing. She liked cooking, just not always for the entire team.

"Okay...so rules." Tony starts and both Thomas and William look up at him from their slices of pizza. "One, what Mom says...goes. Thomas, no running in the tower unless it's down on the training floor and you're careful. William, no practicing magic unless you're with Mama Bear, Wanda, or Loki." When he gets nods from the twins, he continues. "No pissing off the gods, especially Quill. It's a rule that Harley doesn't seem to follow."

Said teen blinks from his occasional glances at William and looks up at his father. "Huh?"

"Nothing. Eat your food Spudicus."

Harley grumbles at the nickname and returns to eating his dinner as Tony lists off the remaining rules to the twins. Stephen noted the glances (and at one point staring) that Harley gave William, but said nothing. He wasn't quite sure if it was infatuation or just plain curiosity yet. When dinner was eaten, Stephen had Wanda and Vision take the twins downstairs to get accommodated with the promise that he would ask Friday to order them anything they needed. He also told Thomas and William that they could come up whenever they wanted whether it was to ask Tony or Stephen a question or simply just to hang out, whether it would be with their kids or not.

Now all Stephen had to do was give them a physical, but that could wait for a little bit so they could get settled.

"You really are a Mama Bear." Tony mutters as he wraps an arm around Stephen's shoulders after they sit on the couch.

"The doctor made the decision too." The sorcerer chuckles and their kids turn on a movie.

"We should take them to the lake house sometime. Especially so Thomas can actually run around freely." Peter says and the parents nod.

"I think we're overdue for a barbeque anyway. It can be a welcome to our functioning, dysfunctional family party." Tony answers with a chuckle.

"Do not make a game out of annoying Quill." Stephen warns with a pointed look at Harley who rolls his eyes.

"It's not a game Mom. I'm just testing my potato gun. It's surprise testing!"

"No."

The oldest teen huffs. "You suck the fun out of everything."

"That's what moms do." Stephen responds with a smirk.

#supremefamily #mama bear stephen strange #mama bear au #billy kaplan #tommy shepherd #cassie lang #tony stark #ironstrange

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saundraswriting · 4 years

Text

Need Some TLC Chapter 7: Sick at Bucky’s

SUMMARY:You make you way home after the longest week in a long time. You more tired then you every have been coupled with the beginning of the flu. You decide to take the Captain and Sargent up on their offer. They force you to res

WARNING: None

You pursed your lips and eyed the red key with hesitation. You did promise to use the key if you needed to sleep after a rough stint at the hospital. You were tired-beyond tired-and not feeling well. You wanted to use the key, you knew that you were in no shape to care for yourself. You were dizzy and cotton mouthed. You could feel yourself swaying as you blinked. Your heart was racing and you knew you were dehydrated. This was definitely time to use the key, even if they weren't there F.R.I.D.A.Y would be able to monitor you for them.

'Maybe they only offered out of politeness and responsibility. They only see you as an obligation. Captain America would surely offer his apartment out of neighborly obligation. Maybe they don't like me anyway.' Your thoughts grew more and more depressing and anxious, your sleep deprivation getting to you. While you debated on taking the two men up on their proposition your feet chose to make the decision for you. You stopped outside their door and fingered the key. 'Fuck it! They won't mind. I certainly don't. Maybe they will even be here to keep me company.' With that thought you inserted the key and turned. You hadn't seen Bucky before work in a day or two, you vaguely remembered him mentioning needing to be in the compound. You took a deep breath and slouched against the door using your body weight to push it open.

You stepped in quietly closed the door hoping to be unobtrusive. You pulled your bags off and sat them on the floor, keeping the strap in your hand. You looked up to scan the apartment, once and then twice before you recognized the crowd of people in the living room. You squinted and looked at the key in you hand and back to the room. Your eyes were having trouble focusing. You finally locked on to blue eyes staring at you in obvious concern. Bucky was sitting on a couch by himself.

"I'm sorry." You said to the room. "Sargent Barnes and Captain Rogers told me to come over if I ever needed to. I have worked a lot lately." You yawned deeply and swayed. You were struggling to stay on your feet after a 20 hour day. You were slowly losing your ability to stay awake but you couched down to gather your bags. The migraine you had shoved away was coming back with a vengeance. "I can go? I don't want to interrupt." Bucky interrupted before you could make to leave.

"Y/N, c'mon. Lay down. You need to sleep. You are always welcome here. Now let go of the bag and come here." Bucky patted the couch next to him. You did as he said letting the bags slouch against each other on the floor. Steve and the others watched with thinly veiled interest. Most didn't know who you were let alone why you had a key or why Bucky was being so soft and dotting. You stumbled over to Bucky like a drunkard, not able to focus. Steve was glad he cleared a path for you. You sat on the couch with a groan and with Bucky's encouragement and help laid down. Almost instantly you were settling. Bucky smiled and pulled off your shoes and socks and emptied your pockets. He reached up and gently took your ponytail out. He tucked a pillow behind your head and wrapped you in a blanket. You sighed deeply and gave a final wiggle to get comfortable.

"You okay, sweetheart? I have been worried." Bucky said as he tucked you in.

"Fine. Just want to stop. Tired. People just need to do their job." You spoke with forced enunciation, a choppiness to your words. "I am cold and nauseous and achy." You slurred. The sensation of being taken care of, of safety and closeness helping ease your tense muscles and tired brain into drowsiness.

"I know, darling. A good rest will help put you to rights." He began rubbing your feet where they rested in his lap. You peered up at him with suspicion.

"You are doing this on purpose. I should stay up. Keep my schedule. Somewhat." You told him. He glared at you with a twinge of heat. "Or, I can just lay here and take a nap." Bucky nodded and rewarded you with a smile. "Fine don't let me sleep too long. You have company." You ordered. He nodded but the twinkle in his eye told you that your next few days would be spent in his care getting better.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. I will wake you in a few hours." Bucky murmured in your ear, adjusting the pillow and blanket. With that you fell asleep between one breath and the next.

Bucky watched you for a few minutes. He instinctively counted your rapid, shallow breaths and fast, hard heartbeats. Your face was pale and blotchy, a grey tint at the very edges of your skin. Bucky felt his concern and worry grow in his chest.

"Steve, do we have a thermometer?" Bucky asked smoothing a hair from your face. It was greasy and he could feel the dry shampoo build up in your roots.

"Want us to leave the room?" Clint teased. "We can leave if you want." Bucky knew even though he was joking, Clint and the others would leave if asked.

"Stop. She is sick and tired. She came here for comfort. I am trying to reteach her affection and friendship. She doesn't have anyone-by circumstance or choice I do not know. I want to be there for her. Like she is for me. Us." Bucky said.

"Bucky, even I can tell from here, she has a fever. You want me to call Bruce?" Steve asked. He handed over the thermometer, telling Bucky to just scan your forehead.

"Bruce isn't that kind of doctor he continually tells us. She is actually a healthcare professional." Bucky took your temperature and winced at the number. "101.3. The is a little high. She should stay here this weekend."

"Agreed. But we both knew she was staying even before the fever. But let's get to lunch and games. She'll sleep like the dead." Steve's lack of concern in his weekend being crashed confused the others but they said nothing.

The group began bickering over what to do for lunch and which game to play. Eventually they decided on pizza and Trivial Pursuit. While they ate and played, Bucky split his attention between his friends and you. He didn't want to keep you on the couch for too long. He was also thinking of ways to get you fever down and rehydrate you. A loud bout of laughter rang through the apartment, Natasha glowering at Sam and Clint. The sudden noise broke through your sleep causing you to stir and whine softly.

"Hush, darling." Bucky murmured in your ear. You settled at the sound of his voice. Clint looked on with warmth in his gaze. He was always a sucker for people in need. His apartment buildings were always full of people trying to get back on their feet for something.

"Wake her in two hours. That will give her one full R.E.M cycle. Give her some regular water or Gatorade and some soup broth to help rehydrate her. Give her some Tylenol to get the fever down at first then bed. Then tomorrow push fluids and good food. She should be better in no time." Clint told Bucky as the pizza arrived and everyone scrambled for some like vultures. Bucky nodded and thanked Clint as he stroked your hair or rubbed a thumb on your ankle while your feet rested in his lap.

"Okay. I know she has been neglecting herself. She baseline is dehydrated, overworked, sleep deprived, and malnourished. I have a lot to fix. She doesn't even seem to understand that she can rely on people or that she deserves basic things. I know that she has some mental health problems-who doesn't-but I want her to know that working through them like this isn't healthy. I want her to know she can rely on us. on me. to help." Bucky told Clint. Bucky felt better with instructions. He made a mental note to research modern medicine to better help anyone in the future. The relief settled him so he could play games and enjoy his friends.

The predetermined two hours was just about up, Bucky was thinking on how to wake you up when your phone began vibrating. The caller ID screen read Work. The vibrating made you stir but Bucky snatched it off the table before you awoke and answered it. The team instantly was silent.

"Hello?" Bucky was hesitant, he didn't want to invade your privacy and he didn't want to wake you just yet either.

"Hello. I'm sorry? I was trying to reach Y/N? I am Diane from Mercy Hospital General Care Ward." The woman on the other end of the call was polite but confused.

"This is her phone. She is unavailable. Can I take a message?" Bucky sounded calm but his right hand was clenched tightly and his eyebrows dipped together in a frown.

"I know that today is her first day off in sometime but I needed to ask her-" Bucky didn't let her finish before he rejected her statement.

"Absolutely not." Bucky's voice was as sharp as flint.

"Pardon me?" Diane's voice rose in pitch.

"Y/N has just gotten off of 4 16 hour shifts and 2 20 hour shifts. Just this week. She is ill and tired. I am sorry to disappoint you but she will continue to be unavailable until Tuesday as scheduled." Bucky was firm and just shy of rude, he was not giving on this issue even a millimeter.

"Very well. Thank you for your help. I hope she feels better. Good day." Diane hung up not waiting for Bucky's response. Bucky placed the phone back on the table trying not to move you too much.

"Good job, Bucky!" Steve grinned at his friend. Everyone looked on bewildered.

"Bucky, that maybe was a little too far? She should've made that decision herself?" Pietro asked.

"No, she would've forced herself to go in. The state she is in would do more harm then good. She knows they need her but she also knows they need her healthy. I took away the guilt of saying no from her." Bucky defended himself.

"Also me going in with a little bug can lead to huge problems, even if I am careful. Who was it on the phone? Everyone knew I was unreachable until Tuesday, unless it was an emergency." You cut into the conversation with a yawn.

"Y/N! I am sorry did we wake you?" Steve leaned over the back of the couch by Bucky's shoulder.

"No. I heard you talking but I was freaking out about oversleeping and next thing I know, I am awake. Sort of." You said while stretching. "Claudia was definitely right."

""Claudia?" Steve repeated.

"A night nurse, I knew. She told me that sometimes it is good to sleep with people near. Humans are social creatures when sleeping too. Helps the brain relax." You explained to Steve before turning to Bucky. "You didn't answer my question."

"Diane."

"Man, fuck Diane. I hate her. Thank you for telling her no for me." You smiled at Bucky, who smiled back feeling relief. "What was my temp?" You asked seeing the thermometer on the coffee table.

"101.3." Steve said. He and the others watched as you blinked blearily around the room.

"Temporal? Then it is probably 102 even 103. I have a high grade fever. I will need to push fluids." You pushed up to a sitting position, throwing a hand out to ride out the dizziness.

"Your iron is low. You are anemic." A man with short dirty blonde hair said.

"Huh?" You blinked at him. "Oh, yeah. But not from being sick. I haven't been eating well." You narrowed your eyes at the man who you were speaking to, then widened them in recognition. "Sargent Barnes...I know we discussed me trading baked good for name-dropping bragging rights but I think it will have to wait." You said.

Bucky laughed and helped you sit up. "They aren't here for your baked goods today. They are here for Team-Bonding. Anyway sweetie, lets get you some fluids and food and meds. Then you can go to bed in my room. Bucky took your elbow in hand and helped you stand up and guided you towards the kitchen.

"'Bucky, it's nothing to make a fuss about. I am fine. Let me go home, please I have chores to do." You halfheartedly pulled at you arm.

"Y/N, I don't think so. Come on, food, water, meds, sleep, hun. In that that order. I will even loan you my shirt to sleep in." Bucky's grip didn't slacken at your tugging. You looked between the kitchen and his front door before the words registered.

"The red one?" You asked quietly like it was a secret. "It is my favorite."

"If you want. You can have anything you want." Bucky kept the thrill he felt when you admitted to having a favorite shirt of his. Bucky wanted to repeat his demands but knew that you knew them.

You felt like shit and having someone to dote on you wouldn't be unwanted. You knew from past experience that being sick was terrible but being sick and alone was unbearable.

"Fine. I will eat and take meds then I will go home. I am not interrupting your Team-Bonding any more than I already have." You tell Bucky. You peek at his teammates-who some you recognize and some you don't-you were trying to look like they weren't just watching the two of you. Bucky nodded at you with an overly innocent look.

"Yes, My dear. Whatever you say." You flinched at his words and Bucky looed at you with a question in his eyes as he helped you sit down in the kitchen island.

You sat down ungracefully still groggy and wibbly. You placed you head on crossed arms but kept your eyes on Bucky. "Don't call me that. That is what my dad called my mom when they would fight." You mumbled.

"Okay, baby-girl, okay." Bucky pulled out a bowl and served you some soup he'd been simmering for a while. You stayed slumped in your chair patiently, zoning out, listening to Bucky puttering around the kitchen and the others playing their game. Bucky glanced over to you and saw your glazed over eyes and pale skin and purple smudges under your eyes. He felt his heart clench at your appearance. Bucky brought over the bowl, pressing featherlight kiss to your hair. "Here's some soup. Full disclosure? This is yours, from when Steve's nightmares started acting up last month? I froze it and thawed it out to eat today." You huffed a laugh and leaned your weight into Bucky's chest for a second before pulling away to eat. Bucky sat down next to you. Tylenol and water found their home next to the bowl of soup. You began to dig in, slowly. Bucky sat with you for a bit.

"Good idea to freeze it. I need to make some stuff. Especially if I am going to use it as bribery to meet everyone. Sargent Barnes? Go on and play. You did your job. I will eat drink and be miserable right here, then I shall steal your clothes and bed. You'll never get rid off me then." You tried to get him to go to his teammates, guilt flooding you for taking him away from his team.

Bucky only grinned at you, dimples showing, eyes lighting up. "That is kinda the plan, doll. Minus the be miserable part." Bucky ruffled your hair affectionately.

"Cause I'm your girl?" You said teasingly. But you could hear the insecurity behind it and knew he could too.

"Yep. My girl. My best girl." Bucky said without hesitation. You beamed at him, reassured for now. you nudged him with you elbow. "Go on, play your games. I think, though, Trivial Pursuit is an unfair advantage for the others considering you were locked away like a pint of Ben and Jerry's for 70 years."

Bucky tuned in time to see everyone direct their gaze from the two of you. He sighed but said nothing, knowing the behavior was born from concern for him and curiosity about you. Not just anyone had a key to their apartment or free rein over it either. Bucky turned to see you went back to eating. He sat down to go back to the game. "Okay, we got at max 45 minutes until she is out again. I gave her nighttime cold medication instead of regular Tylenol." Steve clapped in friend on the back in support. They would apologize when you woke back up again.

"You gonna introduce us? She said she wanted to meet us." Natasha asked. Bucky could see how antsy everyone was to meet you. He knew his answer wouldn't help. "Not right now. She needs rest. One day yes. She won't appreciate being dropped into a first meeting. She works very hard and she is very important to me. I don't want to cause her distress."

"I know that isn't what you guys want to hear but please be patient. She is amazing, she was completely unfazed when we asked to help her move in and she realized who we are. She didn't freak out or anything. Just thanked us and dropped off cookies. She is a polite and considerate woman who deserves our respect. She'll want to meet you when she believes she won't embarrass us." Steve took over when Bucky trailed off. "She takes care of us when she can, because she doesn't take car of herself." Steve raised his voice to carry into the kitchen.

"That's fucking rich coming from the multiple 4-F-lying-on-government-forms-jumping-without-parachutes-reckless idiot." You snapped back finally standing up from the table. You eyed the dishwasher but ultimately decided to put you bowl in the sink, you headache had shrank but you still feared it falling off if you bent over.

"If you have time to sass Steve, you time to take meds." Bucky reminded you.

"I just took them, dad." You stuck your tongue out at him. "Do I get to be introduced?" You smiled but Bucky could see the tense set of your shoulders and how your eyes jumped from person to person.

"Nope. I am not giving you any excuse to skip your nap. Go on, if you want to take a show-"

You moaned in delight. "Oh, god, yes, please." You shuffled over to where you knew the bathroom to be not paying attention to how Bucky was struggling to push down thoughts of how else he could get those noises out of you.

"Everything is in the bathroom." Bucky called out as the door shut. He spun to face Steve, eyes wide and hands wringing. "Steve" Bucky whined pitifully.

Steve looked up to see Bucky's distraught look. Steve offered no support only shaking his head in amusement. Bucky flopped down, feeling dramatically unsettled. He was aware he had a possessive streak a mile wide and you were going to be wet and slippery in his shower, using his soaps, wearing his clothes, sleeping in his bed. It was enough to fell a weaker man but Bucky was better than that. He would respect your boundaries and wait for the proper opening. Laughter from the game grabbed his attention, he chose to actively follow the game feeling guilty about his raunchy thoughts and neglect of his friends. "Sorry, guys. I didn't mean to ignore you."

Natasha didn't say anything just smiled knowingly at the ever so slight sheen of sweat at Bucky's temple. The Maximoff Twins waved away the apology.

"Dude, if I was you, I would have kicked everyone out and taken care of my girl." Sam said.

"She would have left first. She sees herself as the second choice. Something I hope to unlearn her of. I want to help her more, slowly I am learning her personality. But I constantly freeze in the moment. She's always so busy. I am trying to help by making her lunch and keeping her place tidy. That really seemed to help." Bucky said.

"That is a good idea. Why not invite her as your date to the Stark Charity Gala in a few months?" Sam suggested. Bucky seemed to think on it for a moment and looked to Steve, who nodded.

"Fine. I will ask her to the gala. that should give her time to find a dress and get off work." The group cheered lightly. "But!" They paused. "I will only ask her as my official date if Steve asks Tony. No matter what I will ask her to go for a night out because she deserves it." Bucky challenged his old friend. The other members of the team cheered once more. Steve and Tony's mutual pining was frustrating enough, adding on Bucky and yours's was nauseatingly frustrating.

The excitement of the possible feelings resolution was enough to get everyone involved in the game once more. Bucky kept an ear out for you in case you needed something. 20 minutes later and you shuffled out of the bathroom, looking extremely refreshed. Bucky almost swallowed his tongue, his red shirt and sweat draped off your much smaller frame and he could smell his shampoo in your hair and his body wash on your skin.

"Sargent Bar-"Bucky shot you a look. "James." Earned you another. "Bucky" You sighed. "Bucky, Steve, everyone, sorry I ruined you afternoon. I didn't mean to intrude." You played with the hem of his shirt, looking small and tired.

"We already covered this. You didn't ruin anything." Bucky said firmly without any heat. You flinched anyway. "I gave you a key. I want you to use it. I didn't give it to you with conditions, I gave it to you for both my sanity and yours." Bucky got up and walked over to you. "I am glad you used it today. Please understand, you are my best girl. I want you here, wearing my clothes, smelling like me. I want you with me, near me, all of it." Bucky paused. He was coming on strong and he didn't want to push you away.

"I know. But...I don't want to assume anything.:" you said quietly into his chest. Bucky pulled you into a tight hug. He rubbed your back with one hand and stroked your hair with his metal hand.

"Assume away, pretty girl. I may have reached out because you had helped us so much but now? I want you around because I want you and I care for you." Bucky held you tight for another moment.

"Okay. I am sorry. I am a mess. I get whiny and insecure when I am sick." You pressed your face deeper into his chest.

"Y/N, you are a registered nurse, living on her own in NYC. You are friends with most if not all the Avengers. You are sweet and amazing and compassionate. I know sometimes the hard days turn into hard weeks and you get lost in the fog but you are working through it. You know when to ask for help even if you hate it. You aren't a mess. Maybe a little disheveled but that is easy to straighten out." Bucky pulled away slightly to slid his left hand to your back and his right to your thighs, picking you up to cradle in his arms. "Now, let's get you into bed. You still have two day off and a cold to get rid of."

"Okay, Bucky. Thank you." You mumbled. You wanted to tell him to put you down but the idea of being coddled and carried won out quickly. Your awareness was getting fuzzy around the edges. "You didn't give me Tylenol did you?" You said as Bucky tucked you into his bed. He turned on some music very softly to drown out the noise in the living room, not answering you.

"You need anything, ask me. I mean it, anything. Until then...Sleep tight, my sweet girl. See you later." Bucky kissed you temple, heading towards the door.

"Thank you, sweetheart." You mumbled before nodding off. Bucky physically melted, tension leaving his back and shoulders as he shut the door.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #protective Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x nurse! reader #bucky barnes x medical! reader #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x tony stark #steve rogers fanfiction #Stony #saundrasays #saundraswriting #Need Some TLC fic

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rosemary-morgan · 4 years

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John Marston X F.Reader: The sky in her eyes - Part 3

(pictures found on pinterest. John Marstons picture belong to @gangofgunslingers 🖤)

Hello lovely ones (✿◕‿◕✿)

Here comes the third part of “The sky in her yes” 😊 I hope you all will enjoy this chapter. Thank´s so much for all the likes, reblogs, and comments. Thank you so much dear ones 🖤🖤 Means a lot to me!!

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 4

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The sky in her eyes - 3

You couldn't believe you were really going to do it. Just thinking about it embarrassed you profoundly, yet you had no choice but to get money this way. You were so nervous, and tried to hide your fear when you bought a train ticket at the station. None of the passengers would assume that a young woman like you intended to rob a train.

Where did you get the two dollars to buy a ticket? Well, you were begging. You actually asked passersby to give you money, and it took a lot of effort to overcome, but that was your only chance to carry out your plan. You were wearing a hat with a black veil in front of your face like you would at funerals. You didn't want your face to be recognized. "The train leaves in fifteen minutes, Miss. Wallace Station." "Thank you." The words came weakly out of your mouth. Of course, you felt bad, but you had to ensure your survival. "My condolences, Miss." "Thank you, Sir." The man who sold you the ticket assumed that you were grieving for your loved one. Well, that wasn't entirely wrong. You still hadn't dealt with your parents' death. With a soft sigh, you sat on an empty bench. You had no idea how your life would go on. Your palms were cold and sweaty at the same time. You were very excited, afraid of the consequences that would come to you. You felt how difficult it was to breathe calmly. It felt like there was a hand around your neck that squeezed you tightly. Again and again, you had to remind yourself to stay calm because you felt hot tears burn into your eyes. Of course, you knew that this whole action could go wrong, and that's what scared you. But on the other hand, who would miss you? You had no one left, and maybe that the reason why you´ll take this risk...

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"A ticket please." "Where do you want to go, Mister?" "Wallace station!" "Two dollars, please." John rummaged for the money in his pocket and then put it on the counter to pay for his ticket. "You should hurry up, Sir! The train will leave in a minute!" John took the ticket in his hand after paying for it, and stowed it in his satchel. "Thank you, Mister!" John hurried out of the building so as not to miss the train. The passengers had already taken a seat, and it was difficult for John to find one. He ended up sitting next to an older lady who willingly offered him the place next to her, and it quickly turned out that this woman was very talkative. John didn't want to be rude, so he talked to her. It was a very old lady, probably around eighty, so John made an exception, after all, the young man wasn´t very talkative. "I´m sure that your wife and children look forward to seeing you!" John laughed softly, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. Wife and children? Yes, that would be nice! "No, ma'am. I'm not married." "Oh! That's hard to believe! Such a friendly, good looking man must have a lot of admirers!" The older lady was very curious, which made John roll his eyes. "You know, my granddaughter has just turned twenty-three, and she is very beautiful!" When John heard that, he cleared his throat. Oh no, that wouldn´t be a good idea. He was also starting to dislike this conversation. The older lady was just too pushy. "You know Ma'am, actually I already have a nice lady. She waits for my return every night!" When the older woman heard that, she immediately fell silent, looking at him with eyes wide open. John suppressed a laugh. Well, she would have to disappoint her granddaughter now. But John hadn't expected that the older woman would only become more curious. "Oh!! Lucky girl!" She started with her questions, and the young man rolled his eyes in annoyance - why couldn't he just enjoy a quiet trip?

Your eyes wandered from side to side, from right to left, watching everything very carefully. You weren't expecting so many people, which made you more nervous. Your hands trembled, and you felt your shoulders shake as well. God, you must have gone mad! But now you were here, and you would do it! You slowly rose from your seat, your hand moved to your hip, and everything seemed to be happening in slow motion as you watch the passengers reading peacefully their books and newspapers. You didn't want to hurt any of these people. Tears of shame ran down your cheeks, but they were invisible to everyone else. They were hidden behind a black veil. Suddenly the time seemed to go back to normal when you pulled out the revolver, ready to steal from these people. "You all stay calm now! You will do what I say!" At first, the passengers were a little confused, but when they saw the revolver in your hand, they slowly realized the situation. A man rose from his seat, which you saw immediately. You aimed the gun at him. "SIT DOWN!" The man immediately sat down when you started yelling at him. "This isn´t a joke! I want your money, your valuables! Everything!!" You carried an old, ragged sack with you. Fortunately, it was still in very good condition, so that no valuables or gold could slip through. You had found this bag on the street and finally took it with you. "Didn't you understand me?! Hurry up!" While the first passengers began to empty their pockets, you had no idea that there was a marshal in this train compartment. Marshal Tom Davies. He watched the situation closely and slowly pulled out his revolver. The man didn't know how dangerous you were, so he carefully watched the situation.

When the time came, Marshal Davies intervened. You heard a click, then you felt the barrel of a revolver on the back of your head, and now you knew it was over. "Take your gun down! Slowly." Pure horror was visible in your eyes, and you instantly became pale in the face. You couldn't describe your fear in one word - it was endless. You would be arrested, taken to a prison. And if you didn't want to die today, the smartest decision would be to listen to the man behind you who was threatening you with a gun. You slowly took your weapon down, and the marshal immediately grabbed your revolver, dragging it out of your hand. He roughly reached for your arms to tiding your wrists behind your back. "You are in great trouble, lady!" You said no sound, just sobbed softly. He was right. You have committed a great stupidity. How could you believe that you would be able to raid a train? "You're lucky the guards didn't catch you, Missy! Otherwise, you would be dead now!" The marshal turned you around, pulled the black veil from your face, and looked at you. You saw that he was a little surprised. For whatever reason. He saw your tears, saw the shame on your face. But he was a man of the law and had to follow his rules. He remained silent for a few seconds, looking at you with his blue eye. There was an eye patch over his right eye. He also has a very distinctive mustache. "I'll take you to Straweberry, Miss! I will hand you over to the sheriff." No word came over your lips. There was nothing you could say. There was nothing you could do. It was over. The man pulled you with him, past all the people who looked at you with their evil eyes - you couldn't blame them. "To do such stupidity! What were you thinking, girl?!"

John Marston, who was also in the same train compartment as you, saw you being led away from that marshal. John frowned, wondering if he had seen you before. You seemed very familiar to him. The emptiness and the fear in your eyes, he had seen it before. The young man looked down at the floor, thinking about what had happened here a few minutes ago. He had seen everything. What John had recognized from the beginning was that you had no idea of robberies. You had no structure in your process, no plan, and he had seen how nervous you had been during the raid robbery.

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Strawberry, the next morning...

The sheriff had been really kind to you, and you couldn't complain that you were in a prison cell. After all, you had a bed and a warm blanket. You even had a hot meal. It was just a little porridge and a cup of tea, but it was better than starving. For a week you hadn't eaten anything except some fruits, bread, and nuts that you had stolen. You were starving. You didn't even know how to hunt an animal. "You are lucky that nobody was injured. Still, you will have to be in prison for a few months." You didn't answer the sheriff, looking at the spittoon that was in the corner of your cell. "Tomorrow, you´ll be taken to Saint-Denis prison." You sighed softly when you heard that, and you had to admit that it scared you to be put in a bigger prison. You would no longer have privacy, which deeply embarrassed you. You hadn't even peed in the chamber pot that was next to your bed. You had held it back. Accordingly, you had terrible pain in the lower abdomen and around your kidneys. The sheriff had told you he would leave you alone so you could have your peace, but that didn't convince you. "How long will I have to stay in prison, Sir?" "I don't know. But I guess it'll be for two months. Except someone pays your bail." Who should pay bail for you? You didn't even ask how high it was. For what? You had to make friends with the idea of being locked up for the next few months. It was your fault. You couldn´t judge anyone for the circumstances. "I'm sorry, Miss." "..." The sheriff saw the poor creature sitting in this cell, waiting silently for its fate. The man wondered what had happened in your life. He saw how malnourished you were, your dirty clothes, your tousled hair. He felt so sorry for you.

When it got later, and the darkness announced, someone entered the prison. "Can I help you, Sir?" "Yes. I'm here for the young lady." When you heard that, you didn't believe first that you were meant. But who else should be meant? No other prisoners were seen except you. You looked curiously at the young man who spoke to the sheriff. Hope sparkled in your eyes as you listened to the conversation. "What's your name, Sir?" "Jim Milton." "Do you know this young lady, Mister Milton?" John glanced over at you, saw the same sad expression on your face he had seen on the train the day before. You said nothing when the young man looked you in the eye intensely. "Yes, Sir. I Do." John said this without taking his eyes off you, but your gaze lowered to the ground. Why did this strange man help you? You couldn't remember him. Who was he? "Well, I'm afraid I can only release the lady on bail." "How much?" John asked without hesitation. When you heard the price the sheriff mentioned, you got sick. It was a lot of money, and you were sure that the stranger wouldn´t pay to free you. Certainly not without expecting anything in return. But you were wrong. John took out a small bundle of banknotes, counted them. "Here's a twenty-dollar deposit. You'll get the rest tomorrow." But the sheriff just shook his head. He couldn't just let you go. "I'm sorry my boy, but tomorrow she will be transferred to Saint-Denis!" You weren't sure if you should be happy or cry about it. You were so confused, exhausted, and you were afraid.

John sighed softly, glancing into the cell. He saw this young girl, and he didn't want her to have to sit in this prison any longer. What should he do? Then he suddenly remembered that he was carrying a watch for which he actually had no use. The young man pulled them out of his pocket to place it on the sheriff's desk. "That's all I have. It's worth at least twenty dollars!" The sheriff took the piece and examined it closely. He liked what he saw. "This is a platinum pocket watch. Are you sure you want to give it away?" It looks like he could buy you in freedom. Platinum was in high demand. "I think so, sheriff." "Well, then. You can take back the twenty dollars. This watch is enough. She is a free woman now." The sheriff rose from his chair to go to your cell. John followed, and when the sheriff opened the door, you looked at the young man with wide eyes. You just couldn't believe that a completely strange man helped you. But why? What reason did he have to help you? Of course, you had some concerns at the moment. You were on your own, and therefore a simple victim. You wouldn´t have the strength to defend yourself against this man. But you didn't want to think about it, and when you looked closely, the young man didn't make the impression that he wanted to harm you. "You can go." You slowly stepped out of the cell, looking at the unknown man who had got you out of this mess. His eyes bored into yours what you could hardly stand, and finally, you lower your eyes again. You sure looked horrible. Tousled hair, dirt on clothes, and face. What a shame, you toughed. "I don't want to see you here again, missy. Got it?" You nodded to the older man, smiling weakly. "Thank you very much, Sir. You have been really kind to me." "Take care of that girl, boy!" John nodded to the sheriff before turning back to you and gesturing to the door. You looked up at the young man with concern. He wanted you to follow him? You were visibly confused, and John saw it clearly. "Oh, um... I just want to talk to you", he replied quickly, because he didn't want to scare you. You fold your arms into each other, slowly looked at his face again. Finally, and without saying another word, you left the prison with him. It was already getting dark, and certainly colder too, which made you freeze. You sighed, your breath was visible in the dark night. Of course, John didn´t miss this fact. He took off his coat to hand it over to you. But when he got closer, you startled a bit, looking at him with eyes wide open. John cleared his throat, took a step back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to give you my coat." You were very surprised by so much kindness since it has been a while that someone took care of you. Hesitantly, you took the black coat. "Thanks a lot." You put it on, feeling how the wool gave warmth to you. That was much better. But one thing was still unclear. Why did he help you? "Listen, I'm very thankful for your help. But..." You shook your head while you looked at him in confusion. "How and... why? I mean..."

You didn't know how to express your insecurity, but John already had an answer for you. "I was on the train when you tried to rob the passengers!" When he said that, some things became clear. So, he had seen you and heard that you would be taken to Strawberry. Guilty took hold of you again, and you didn't dare to look at the stranger. Your eyes lowered to the ground, full of regret and shame. "I- I... had no choice. I was in need... I have no money, no food, nothing.", you said softly while tears burned into your eyes. It was hard. John knew the meaning of famine, he knew it all too well. His eyes were full of pity. You were so young! What had happened in your life that you had to live under such conditions? "I was a fool to think I could rob a train! My god...I had also been robbed. I know how bad it feels, and I was going to do the same to other people." John frowned as you continued to speak. So the same thing happened to you before? "A robbery, Miss?" “Yes. As it turned out afterward, two members of the Van der linde gang had robbed the train. I was there." John's eyes widened in shock when he heard that. He swallowed nervously, frowned again. Now everything fits together. That girl whose necklace he had stolen - that was you! The young man was speechless. He couldn't believe that he had actually met you again. That's why you looked so familiar to him! He had never forgotten your eyes, or rather, the fear in your eyes had haunted him for years. At that time, you begged him to leave you alone, but he simply tore the piece of jewelry from your neck. And now you stood in front of him. "What happened back then, if you don´t mind me to ask?" “Something very valuable had been stolen from me. But for this guy, it was nothing more than a necklace. He ripped it off my neck." You didn't know why you were telling him this, but it felt good to talk about it.

John sighed slowly, stroking his black hair. Good god... Was it his fault that you have to live in such a condition? Did he throw you into this misfortune? God, he had terrible remorse. How should he ever make it up to you? John said nothing. He had actually intended to give you back your piece of jewelry, but now that you were standing in front of him, he didn't have the courage to reveal himself to you.

"I know... what you're feeling right now. Really. It's not an easy life." When he said that, you looked up at him in surprise. So he didn't judge you for what you had done? You could very well remember the looks of some passengers. They had looked at you with anger, with scorn. "It was a long time ago, I also lived on the street. I know what it means to go hungry." You nodded when he said that, looking at the ground again, and sighing softly. It became quiet between you both. "My name is Jo... Jim Milton!" "I know. You said that to the sheriff earlier.", you reply softly, causing John to smile. "My name is Y/N L/N." "Miss, is there anyone I can take you? To your parents...? Or..." "No. There is nobody." His question almost broke your heart. You didn't want to be reminded of your parents, it was too painful. When John heard that you had no one, he sighed softly. He felt so sorry for you. No money, no food, and no family... that was too much pain. "I hope you will forgive me Mister Milton, but I can't give you anything except my thanks." You were about to take his coat off when he stopped you. "Wait." You looked at him curiously. What else did he want to tell you? "I run a ranch. Beecher's hope. I want to give you the opportunity to help me with my work." When he said that, your eyes widened. You knew this was a unique chance that you shouldn't throw away. John wanted to help you live a better life. That was the least he could do for you. "The only thing I can offer you right now is a hot meal and a bed. No money." "Really?" That sounded unbelievable to you. This man came out of nowhere and offered you a job? It was hard to believe. You knew that you should never trust a stranger, but in that case, you had no choice. Of course, anything could happen. Maybe this Jim Milton was a psychopath? He offered you a job, and damn! You knew how to run a ranch!

"Yes. I'm serious." "Okay then." You nodded at him, accepting his offer. "Maybe you should rest. You should spend the night in the hotel, eating a hot meal. It's a long way to Beachers Hope." "I have no money." John was aware of this, and he nodded to you. "I know. Let me pay for it." You snuggled into the warm coat, searching protection in the fabric because you didn't know why he did all of this. This seemed so suspicious to you. But John just wanted to help you. He felt guilty, and therefore he had an urge to give you something back. He couldn't reverse what he had done to you many years ago, but he could help you now. "It's okay. Really." You said nothing, just looking at your feet, and you didn't know whether you should accept his offer or not. You reminded yourself to be careful because it would be naive to think that he only did this out of kindness.

John saw your insecurity, and he didn't know what to do to convince you. Maybe he should leave you alone? But he couldn't and didn't want to let you down. He knew how dangerous life on the street was. How heartless this world could be. "Miss L/N, at least let me buy you a hot meal." Hot food sounded so damn delicious. Oh, you would sell your soul for a warm piece of meat with potatoes. Just at that thought, your stomach grumbled. "Okay." You were very thankful, yet so insecure. But you followed Jim Milton, as he walked to the hotel, which was only a few steps away. The thought of working on a ranch soon calmed you down a bit. You just wanted to live a peaceful life and finding a place in this cruel world...

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The next morning...

It felt so good to be able to sleep in a proper bed, and the hot bath had been damned good. You felt relaxed and clean this morning. The hot meal last night had also been a blessing for your stomach. You also had washed your dirty clothes, which hopefully would be dry soon since you didn't wear a single piece of clothing. You turned on your side, sighing softly as you slid your hand under the pillow. You looked out of the window, watching the beautiful sky, and suddenly, you felt hope. That stranger Jim Milton had entered your life, but you didn't know why he helped you. Maybe he was just a nice guy, and yes, maybe you should just trust him. A few days ago you slept on the street, and now you were lying in a cozy bed. John had also rented a room, but he hadn't slept last night. He still couldn't believe he met you. It was so strange. His inner voice had made him follow you to Strawberry. He usually stayed out of other people's business, but he felt sorry for you. He had seen immediately that you had never raided a train before. You were very lucky that you were still alive. How could you do such a dangerous project on your own? That was insane! "Jesus..." He just couldn't get rid of the idea that he had ruined your life...

#john marston #john marston x reader #john marston x female reader #rdr2 #fanfiction #love #red dead redemption 2

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madamlaydebug · 4 years

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Urgent info before it gets removed sent via Sean Ferris today

This is very important, so please take a moment to read so you know what has been happening behind the scenes!!!!! Evidently monies to fund the child trafficking tunnels came from US Taxpayers through the Cabal-owned IRS/Federal Reserve System. An inside source said, “They spent trillions of dollars on these tunnels… that’s where the trillions of dollars that have been missing from the 9-11 building that they took down.” READ BELOW!!!!

Since April 2019 in secret military operations, thousands of tortured, mutilated babies, children and teens have been rescued or found deceased by the US Military. US Special Operations teams directed by President Trump and his Pentagon Pedophile Task Force have been clearing out the children, corpses, gold, cash and documents from a massive labyrinthine of DUMBS tunnels (Deep Underground Military Bases) that ran beneath the US, Canada and Mexico.

Evidently over centuries the tunnels had been built and used by members of the Illuminati, better known as the Cabal, or Deep State. Global, political and Hollywood elites into Satan worship were known to pay big bucks to drink the blood of a traumatized child (known as Adrenachrome) – reported to create a “high,” along with a supposed reverse of aging. Although, if their “supply” was cut off, the partaker suffered greatly and could even die.

The Pentagon was making sure that supply was never harvested as evidently it had been for centuries. Back in April 2019 the US Military, Interpol and different countries’ local military forces began a concentrated and coordinated effort to rescue children from a huge tunnel network that ran throughout the US from California to New York, to Canada, Mexico, Europe, Italy (the Vatican and Venice), the Hague, New Zealand, South America and the Middle East (Lebanon). Some of the tunnels lay beneath the Vatican, with many reported to be several stories deep – like the one beneath the Denver Airport.

By April 2020 a total of over 50,000 malnourished, caged and tortured children had been reported as rescued or found deceased in the tunnels beneath large US cities including one under New York Central Park. Another tunnel was said to run from the Clinton Foundation building to the New York Harbor.

The latest horror was uncovered around August 20, 2020 beneath Reno Nevada where thousands of mangled recently deceased corpses of children were discovered. The child captives were believed to have been kidnapped or bred for purposes of sexual abuse, human experimentation and human sacrifice in Satanic rites.

On Wed. Oct. 16 2019 an unbelievable 2,100 children being held in cages in underground tunnels at the California China Lake Military facility were rescued by Navy Seals and US Marines. The children and teens were said to have been sexually abused, tortured and killed to collect their blood. Marines carried out traumatized children, some of whom have never seen the light of day, pregnant preteens, deformed babies, piles of little corpses whose bodies were apparently used for organ harvesting, children locked in cages, electro-shocked and traumatized in order to harvest their blood – Adrenachrome for the elites to drink.

“In Nevada the child rescue operations moved in earnest… what was amazing is that everyone was thinking Las Vegas would be the horror show of horror shows… there was a horror show but it was Reno… underneath Reno they could not believe the tunnels underneath the ground... the DUMBs… the bulk of the children found in the tunnels under Reno were dead… not only dead folks, they were mangled… they’re trying to do DNA testing to get the pieces back in order… which piece belongs to which other torso… it’s horrific” commented Dr. Charles Ward, who has been in a couple of the tunnels.

A trooper involved in rescue operations said, “On 4 July 2019 at 2 am PDT we surprised personnel at the China Lake Naval Research Base in California. We took over the base and rescued approximately 3,000 children being tortured in ways beyond comprehension. . .The count now of traumatized children (found dead or alive) was more like in the hundreds of thousands – generations who had never seen sunlight.”

Another trooper in rescue efforts reported, “Underground bases trafficking children were destroyed back in 2019. That included a base that was under the Getty Museum. The more recent Utah March 18 2020 earthquake was actually destruction of child trafficking tunnels (under the old Dugway Utah Germ Warfare base also referred to as another Area 51 UFO Base). There was a major battle under the Denver airport. The Illuminati had planned to make Denver the capital of the US after they took over and killed most of us.”

There was a tunnel system that circled Australia and centered in Melbourne. The military made a massive raid in tunnels beneath the Black Forest in Germany. In Barcelona Spain they rescued over 2,000 women and children, while arresting 13 of their pedophile leaders. There were 30,000 pedophiles arrested out of Germany, and “lots” were arrested in Spain and England.

Charlie Freak - about Australia said that the troops went into Melbourne and found a second layer of tunnels beneath an enormous tunnel system in Australia. “It started in Sydney… they described it to us… think arachnid… it’s a web… and it was below… so this second tunnel system goes in a ring around Australia, with a big central line running towards Ayers Rock…One night - 9 p.m. to 6 or 7 a.m. - there were explosions every 2 or 3 seconds that entire time. That’s why there were police out there.”

US Military, Marines, Navy Seals and Special Ops trained for over a year for the special missions under direction of President Trump and the Pentagon Pedophile Task Force. These US Special Forces were working with Interpol and various countries’ militaries to clear out the underground tunnels filled with trafficked children and women. They then blew the tunnels up so they can never be used again for any purpose. The small nuclear explosives used caused small earthquakes in the region.

Evidently monies to fund the tunnels came from US Taxpayers through the Cabal-owned IRS/Federal Reserve System. An inside source said, “They spent trillions of dollars on these tunnels… that’s where the trillions of dollars that have been missing from the 9-11 building that they took down.”

The operation was ongoing as they discovered even more tunnels deeply buried beneath the earth. Dr. Charles Ward said: “The rescue operations were taking longer than The Alliance thought because the massive labyrinthine illuminati tunnel systems were more vast than anyone had any idea of.

“They collapsed tunnels in Lebanon,” Ward said. “There was a considerable amount of tunnels under a building there that exploded. I’ve learned an awful lot about these tunnels and I have actually been inside some of these tunnels in my work because they store a huge amount of gold and cash in these tunnels. The ones I’ve been in were 200 Meters below ground level. .. the width of the tunnels would be 30/40 feet, the height would be 15/20 feet, there was electric golf buggies riding around down there like it was a main road; 40 km, 30 km of roads down there, shops down there, living quarters down there, storage facilities, safes, everything down there, and this was in just the two that I’ve visited. . . I think the process has been, from what I understand, once they’ve removed the women and children that were stored down there, they were removing the tunnels so nothing can be ever done there again.”

Ward has personally has been inside two DUMBs that were crammed with cash, gold and valuables. He was part of a team that was moving gold, cash and valuables around the world for the United States Government to back a revaluation of currencies in a Global Currency reset about to take place.

Dr. Ward related that in March 2020 during the child rescue mission at the Vatican they arrested the Pope. Some of Ward’s Security Team watched the arrest. He said that 650 plane loads of gold, cash and documents were flown out of the Vatican to Fort Knox. He regularly used specially trained teams to move money and his teams had been hired to clear out the Vatican of its stolen treasure.

“I don’t think normal people have any idea or any concept as to how many children disappear every single year…And I'm going to sicken you right now. People that we trusted, organizations that we trusted during times of tragedy were involved, such as Hurricane Katrina where lots of people went missing. They were basically stolen by organizations that we trust to look after us in a time of trouble. Those kids were trafficked.

“That’s pretty damn disgusting… In times of war… the wars in Afghanistan, Syria, Libya, the amount of children that were stolen from those countries is unbelievable. So that the families think that they’ve died and they haven’t. They’ve been stolen… and this is a world that, don’t take my word for it, go and do some homework, because it’s absolutely disgusting

“And you’ll start to wake-up to what Donald Trump is actually doing when he’s draining the swamp…I don’t think… a lot of people have any idea how dirty that swamp is…how contaminated it is…and when you wake up to what he’s actually doing…It doesn’t matter if he has funny hair, it doesn’t matter if he does funny tweets. If he gets rid of one pedophile gang, saves one woman and a child from being trafficked, he’s doing a good job. He’s saved thousands and thousands of children and families, yet there’s NOTHING, NOTHING in the mainstream media. They should be ashamed of themselves, totally ashamed. It’s disgusting.”

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hookedontaronfics · 4 years

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Honky Dancer - Chapter 9

Chapter title: Recovery and Reconciliation Read the previous installments here: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Mentions of an eating disorder, medical drama, subtle mentions of sex A/N: I know you all have been waiting to know the outcome of what happened after the cliffhanger I left with you last chapter. I truly apologize it took me so long to put this together, and I hope it lives up to all of your expectations. There’s not a lot of action in this, but there are a lot of emotions, so I hope you hang on for the ride. When things get dark, the people we love truly are the lights we keep fighting for. Always remember to be someone else’s light; it may save their life. X

Soft sheets, but not soft enough. Maybe the industrial-produced kind. A quiet whooshing noise. Dim light. The smell of antiseptic hanging heavy in the dry, static-filled air. When I first assumed consciousness, it hurt to open my eyes, so these were my first impressions of the world around me, from what I could sense. But while I could try to analyze the stimuli around me, I had very little sensation coming from my own body, and that concerned me more than anything. Of course, I was probably on strong painkillers, but the absence of pain made me feel no longer grounded. Instead, I just felt drained and lethargic, like it would take far too much effort to even lift my arm.

Where was I? What had happened? I fought through the mental fog clouding my thoughts as I tried to remember. We were filming, on set, of that I was certain. Flashes of dancing played behind my still-closed eyelids. I remembered how hot it felt that day, the shimmers of heat bending the air. I didn’t feel well, but I’d pushed through like the stubborn fool I was. I had… fainted? Collapsed? Given up? I wasn’t sure entirely, but now here I was, prone in a hospital bed and not sure what was going to happen next.

I groaned slightly and felt the need to move suddenly, shifting uncomfortably, slowly becoming more aware of the weight of tubes and wires snaking across my body. A low moan escaped me and then a voice asked “Juliette?”

I instantly popped my eyes open, the room a wash of white. I knew that voice, of course, but it wasn’t the one I’d been hoping to hear. “How are you feeling?” Markus asked concernedly.

“I’m stuck in a hospital bed, Markus. How do you think I feel? Like shit,” I said bitterly.

“Of course. Dumb question,” he said, not even blinking at my tone.

“Why are you even here?” I asked, staring at some point on the wall above his head. “And where is Taron?” I asked softly, despite myself.

“Your lover has been here already, but he couldn’t stay. He had obligations beyond you. He brought your phone and purse, they’re over there,” Markus sighed, running a hand through his hair. “But what happened to you, it concerns me too,” he said, not unkindly.

“Concerns you? Like you give a rat’s arse about me,” I said, angry at him, and angry at myself too. Angry at the world, really, but for what I couldn’t even define.

“It...affects me. Alright? I had a fucking personal stake in this whether I wanted it or not,” he said, his voice a bit choked up.

“What are you going on about, Markus?” I asked.

“The baby. Our baby. You … lost it,” he said, and I instantly felt my blood run cold.

“What?” I asked, struggling to sit up.

“When they brought you to the hospital, you were dehydrated, and malnourished, and miscarrying. You lost the baby.”

No, no, it couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be real. I was still pregnant, I had to be.

“You didn’t take care of yourself, so you caused this. You killed our child,” he continued, his words turning sharp, ruthless, cutting deep. The pain that blossomed through me, no drug could touch.

“No,” I whispered, horrified at this new reality. A reality I wished I hadn’t woken up to. I felt sick to my stomach, hitting the call button for the nurse, certain I was going to puke in my own lap. The tears threatened at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to cry in front of Markus. He didn’t deserve my tears.

“You didn’t even care. You wanted me to get an abortion. How is this different? Why are you using this to hurt me?” I said, gasping for air, feeling like my lungs were seizing up in my chest.

“Oh, Juliette, it’s just simply what you deserve,” he said, those steely eyes of his as closed off as a mask. He delighted in my pain, a pain I couldn’t escape. I slowly smoothed my hands over my stomach, my hip bones protruding prominently, feeling empty in a way I had never known, not even in my darkest moments before.

“No,” I said again, feeling the grief compounding in my chest. I hadn’t known I was pregnant for very long, but that didn’t matter. The bond had been instant, the hope for this baby immense. I was its mother and now I had nothing - I would never hear its cry, I would never be able to nurse it, I would never sing it lullabies in the 3 a.m. dusk. There wouldn’t be belly laughs and first words, rounds of patty-cake and jars of baby food. There wouldn’t be tiny fingers and tiny toes to kiss, the sweet smell of milk breath, the discovery of new things. And I wouldn’t be able to experience those moments with Taron either. I felt a pang so deeply in my soul for him, an ache, a longing for him just to hold me in that moment. But there was distance between us now, and I didn’t know how he would respond to all of this either.

A nurse with a kind face and brown hair pulled tight in a ponytail swept into the room after knocking. “Glad to see you’re awake,” she smiled brightly at me, but I couldn’t return it. She seemed to notice my distress right away. “Oh honey, let’s make sure you’re more comfortable,” she said, checking all of the med levels on the IV machine before checking my vitals and sitting with me as I fought off the urge to puke, clutching a bucket to my chest. Markus was silent through all of this, scrolling through his phone like he hadn’t just caused me this torment.

“I’ll see if I can get the doctor in here shortly to talk to you. You’ve had a rough go of it but we’re going to get you back to normal, sweetie, I promise,” the nurse said kindly. While I tried to appreciate her kindness to me, it was hard to pull myself out of the depressive pit I was sinking into. I could feel the wave of hopelessness clutching at the edges of my psyche.

“Markus, could you leave me alone for a while? I need to rest,” I made sure to say in front of the nurse, hoping this would mean he’d have no choice but to leave.

“I can sit right here while you sleep,” he said, almost smugly, but that just made the panic rise in my chest. I could not be left alone with this man again.

“No, please, just go,” I said, clutching hard at the blankets.

“Perhaps it would be best if we give Juliette some space,” the nurse said, reading my distress and emphasizing the last word. She stood up and looked expectantly at Markus, who sighed and stood up himself after a beat of awkward silence, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.

“Good luck with everything,“ was all he said before striding out, and I felt both relief and also more alone than ever.

“Do we need to put a security alert out for him?” the nurse asked sympathetically, but I shook my head.

“Not necessary. He won’t be back. He’s my ex and, it ended painfully,” I said, wiping at my eyes quickly.

“He doesn’t seem like a very kind man,” the nurse observed. “You’re better off without him, honey.” After promising, again, to get a doctor in to visit me as quickly as she could and making sure I was otherwise comfortable, she left me with my thoughts, which were veering toward a dangerous place.

I finally had the space to let out the tears, crying so hard I knew I was leaving snot all over my pillow, but I didn’t have the capacity to care at the moment. Fat, hot tears rolled down my cheeks, unbidden, though I tried to keep the sobs that wracked my body as silent as possible. I could now place a finger on that empty feeling in my body; I was no longer pregnant, and I couldn’t hide from that harsh truth. The abyss of pain yawned wide in my chest, beckoning me into its darkness. I didn’t feel I had much to live for, and maybe non-existence would be better than this pain.

But then there was Taron, and if I had anything to keep fighting for, it was him. I couldn’t leave things the way they had been. I couldn’t allow my mess of a life to ruin his. This wasn’t how things should be. I sniffled slightly, trying to calm myself down. I’d spent my tears already, and now my head was throbbing and my chest hurt and my nose was congested, and I really didn’t feel any better. I saw a box of tissues on the nearby bedside table and grabbed one, wiping away my tears, my fingers brushing against a tube taped to the side of my face. I followed it to my nose, and realized, with a sickening shock, that I had been fitted with a nasogastric feeding tube; they were forcing nutrients into my starved body, and for some reason that made me angry. Who’s right was it to decide that?

But, rationally, that’s what had landed me in the hospital in the first place. That’s what had cost me my baby in the first place. They were trying to save my life, but was it worth it? That question would haunt me for a while.

I managed to doze off for a bit, exhausted by my emotions and my depleted body, but my sleep was restless, my dreams troubled. I woke to a very different presence in the room. “Taron.” I could barely make my voice work, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes already just to see him there.

He looked tired - no, exhausted, his hair a mess, probably stuck under a bald cap and wig all day, but there was only concern in his expression. Concern for me, but I’m not sure I deserved it. “Hey, I’m here now,” he said softly, reaching over and gently taking my hand in his, careful of the IV lines.

“Are you sure that you want to be?” I asked hesitantly, and Taron’s brow wrinkled like I was being ridiculous.

“Of course, why would I be anywhere else?” he asked softly, sweetly brushing my hair out of my face, his fingers coming to rest under my chin. “Seeing you fall put some things in perspective. I don’t want to hold onto my anger any more. So those things that happened before, they don’t matter to me.”

“But they should, Taron. They should. I lied to you, about a lot of things. I was scared, yes, but that doesn’t excuse it,” I replied weakly.

“And I’ve forgiven you, and it’s as simple as that. People say they forgive each other all the time but it’s not real if you still hold a grudge, if you still hold it against them. Real forgiveness takes trust and courage. All I know is that losing you isn’t an option for me. So first, we focus on your recovery. Then, we can work on the rest of it. Okay?” he said gently. I found it hard to meet his beautiful peridot gaze.

“But… You shouldn’t be with a baby killer, you’re too good for that,” I said resentfully.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“I lost the baby. Markus said it was all my fault,” I whispered.

“Markus doesn’t know shit,” Taron replied instantly. “We both know he’s an idiot, and he doesn’t know the situation at all, so don’t you dare believe a word he says. I spoke with the doctor myself. The baby had a genetic defect, Juliette. It was never going to survive. Maybe the malnourishment contributed to this all happening at the same time, but love, it wasn’t meant to survive. You didn’t do this, okay? It’s sad, and it’s awful, and we’re going to mourn it, but please don’t take on that guilt as yours. It’s not,” he whispered, his eyes growing watery too. He paused to wipe quickly at his eyes. “I had hopes for this too, you know. I was excited for what could be, for us. I’m not going to let you feel alone in this. The baby is gone, yes, but you are still here, and you are what I have to focus on. I need you to get better.”

“I just don’t know if I can,” I said, closing my eyes and sighing heavily.

“What, get better?” he asked, knitting his brows together again.

“Move forward. I’m not strong enough. I’m not sure I deserve anything more.”

“Hey,” he said, “that’s not true. You’re one of the strongest people I know, next to maybe my mam,” he added with a cute laugh. “I’m sure right now it doesn’t feel that way, but I know you. I see you. It’s going to take time and it’s going to take as many steps back as you take forward, but you can move forward, and you do deserve to be happy again. It’s painful now, yes, but not impossible. You have so much to look forward to still. You have me.”

I opened my eyes again and gazed at him for a moment, feelings tumbling and crashing through me, the depression and grief clashing with the hope and love I felt for Taron. That was definitely something I think we took for granted in life; that emotions weren’t simple, black or white. They didn’t come to us one at a time, perfectly lined up so we could deal with each one in its time. No, life was much more complex than that, and oftentimes we were battered in a sea of emotion, in a constant battle of contradiction. How did anyone ever figure themselves out?

“One day at a time, Juliette. I just need you to fight for you right now,” he continued after watching me wrestle with my inner turmoil.

I nodded and closed my eyes again. “Just so tired,” I murmured softly.

“You should sleep. I’ll be right here,” he said, pulling the blankets up around me again. I couldn’t help but smile over his tenderness, something he still wished to bestow upon me despite everything we’d been through. I felt myself slowly sliding toward sleep again, and gratefully surrendered.

I wasn’t asleep for long, though, as a doctor arrived finally to advise me of my condition. He explained some of the obvious, corroborating what Taron had told me about my miscarriage, and also some of the less obvious problems, the dehydration and malnutrition that had caused my collapse and an acute kidney infection resulting from it, which I was now on heavy antibiotics for, and a concussion from hitting my head on the concrete road. My bloodwork levels were incredibly out of sync, and my body had been crashing hard when they rushed me into the ER, which was likely why I felt like shit now, lethargic and headachey and exhausted. I was also assigned a therapist, whom I was going to have to have consultations with over acute anorexia nervosa and depression. In other words, I was a complete and utter mess.

But somehow even worse than all of that was the fact that I’d managed to sprain my ankle too when I’d fallen. My leg was bound in a heavy plastic boot, which I discovered when I hastily yanked the covers back. I gasped and shook my head in disbelief; this directly threatened my livelihood and I didn’t know how I was going to cope.

I tried to not have a meltdown in front of the doctor and nurse and Taron, but I could feel it clawing at my brain. I grabbed my phone to try and distract myself, surprised by the many text messages from other dancers and my friends who knew what had happened, at least. I tried to respond to those as best I could after the doctor and nurse had excused themselves. I had several voice messages from Zayn and my mother, and I realized I needed to let them know I was going to be okay. The production, of course, had already contacted them, as was protocol in an emergency situation. But to hear from me would probably be good.

Just as I was dialing my mum’s number, though, a knock came on the door and she popped her head in. “Mum!” I nearly cried, struggling to sit up and nearly getting knocked back into the pillows by her embrace.

“Juliette, my darling, darling girl,” she said into my hair, running her fingers through it before holding me out at arms length and looking at me. “Don’t you ever, ever do that to me again. You scared me half to death. I had no idea you were so sick,” she said, tears running down her face. “Why didn’t you talk to me, honey? I could have helped you, I could have…” she said, her words cut off by her sobs.

“Oh god, mum,” I said, also tearing up and trying to hug her again. “Mum, I’m fine. I’m going to be okay. I promise,” I said, my voice breaking slightly.

“I know, honey. But I feel like I should have seen it. I should have noticed you were hurting,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed, careful of my leg, which was resting on a pillow now.

“Mum, I hid it from everyone that ever loved me. I’m still sick, you know... in here,” I said, pointing at my head. “But I have people in my life worth fighting for, and I know that. Clara, you … Taron…” I smiled over at him, caught up in the emotion I saw there in his face. “It’ll be alright,” I whispered softly, finally laying back into the pillows, already worn out but happy to have my mum there.

We talked quietly for a while, and I’m pretty sure I went in and out of sleep, at least until the nurse came back to check my vitals and suggested I should eat something. I had no desire to eat but knew this was a major test I needed to get over if I was ever to get this damnable tube out of my nose. So I would have to pretend until it was no longer pretend, until my brain didn’t see food as the enemy. I ordered something off the menu that sounded remotely palatable, but when it arrived even the smell made me want to throw up.

Still, with my mum and Taron there to support me, I picked up the applesauce and slowly peeled back the lid. “You can do this, Juliette. You need to do this,” Taron said, watching me carefully, a supportive hand on my knee. My hand shook slightly as I picked up the spoon and dipped it into the applesauce, staring at it for probably uncomfortably long before finally putting the bite of applesauce in my mouth. It tasted okay, and my stomach even gave a small rumble, realizing, even if my brain didn’t, that I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours.

I managed to swallow that first bite, and then it was like something inside my brain snapped, and I wolfed down the rest of the applesauce without another thought. I was hungry, absolutely starving, and no matter how much I worried about calories and being fat, I couldn’t deny the almost-nauseous pain in my stomach any longer. Soon after that applesauce, I dug into the other food on the tray, eating greedily and not seeing the looks my mum and Taron were exchanging, words being said without a voice.

“I need to pee,” I finally spoke up, pushing the food tray away from me.

“I’ll call the nurse,” my mum said, reaching for the button.

“No, I’ve got it,” I grumbled slightly, peeling off the covers and awkwardly swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

“I think we should get some help, babe,” Taron said hesitantly, instantly going to support me, as I was a bit precarious on the edge of the bed. A wave of dizziness passed over me, likely a result of my concussion, but I wasn’t willing to let that win.

“I have to try,” I said, gripping the bed railing tightly and slowly lowering my feet to the ground, the boot making a clunk on the cold tiled floor. I winced slightly, aware that my ass, clad in a massive pair of mesh granny panties to absorb the blood from my miscarriage, was open to the world in the starchy hospital gown, but my bladder was insistent. My mum carefully unplugged the IV from the wall so we could wheel the tower into the bathroom, and I carefully shifted my weight into my feet. Despite the support the boot gave, a sharp crack of pain ran up my leg, making me cry out and reach for whatever was nearby; thankfully, that was Taron, and he kept me from falling to the floor.

“I think we should have waited for help,” he said, as he clutched me tightly to his chest, helping me hobble to the bathroom before I had an accident on the floor. I had to admit he was probably right, as I sat there on the toilet, groaning silently as I relieved myself. Taron leaned in the doorway, his soft, caring, gentle eyes taking me in. He wanted to fix this all for me, I knew, but he couldn’t.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, if I can’t dance,” I whispered softly, blinking in the harsh fluorescent light of the bathroom. “I’ll lose Rocketman, and my classes at the Academy, and then what am I? I’ve defined my life by dance.”

“I think right now is not the time to worry about the what ifs to come. You have a road of recovery ahead of you, and you are more important than any career. Besides that, most of the major dance numbers are already done, and you if you focus all of your energy on getting better, maybe you’ll be back in time for Bennie. But regardless of that, the most important thing is you right now. Your career can, and will, wait for you. You’re more than just a dancer to me, you know,” he said with a small smile. “You’re my girl, and I love you.”

His words hit me straight in the chest, and I cried for what felt like the 80th time that day. There I was, sobbing into a wad of tissue paper, goosebumps on my arms because it was cold, propped on the toilet and losing it over everything; it was not my finest moment, but no one was there to make me feel guilty over it either.

My mum had ended up calling the nurse, and she’d brought some crutches for me too, because I wasn’t supposed to put any weight on my leg for a while. After I managed to get myself sorted out, I hobbled back to the bed, and gratefully crawled in, exhausted by even just going to the bathroom. I really had done myself in, and it saddened me. I didn’t want to need help doing even basic things; I wanted to tell myself to get over it, to stop being so weak, but my body didn’t have a choice. I’d abused it, and now I was paying the price.

My head had started to throb by now, and my body ached everywhere. I was due for more painkillers, though, so the nurse changed out my IV bags so I could rest a little easier. She suggested my company give me time to rest, but I didn’t want Taron or my mum to leave just yet.

I asked after Troy, but my mom reassured me that my dog was with Madison and would be just fine. She had also contacted the Academy to let them know of my situation, and they had been nothing but concerned and understanding, which gave me a little bit of relief. Another knock on the door turned out to be Zayn, holding a bouquet of flowers, and Clara, who instantly ran over to me and launched herself into the bed. “Mummy!” she squealed as she flounced down beside me.

“Clara, be careful!” my mum chided, but I was happy to pull my daughter into my arms and hug her tightly.

“Oh, my Clara Bean,” I said, kissing her on the top of her head and smelling the sweet fragrance of the strawberry shampoo still lingering in her hair.

“We came as soon as we could,” Zayn said, setting the vase on the bedside table and kissing me lightly on the forehead.

“Thank you, those are beautiful,” I smiled.

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

“Not great at the moment, but I’ll be okay,” I replied, watching as Zayn and Taron shook hands and greeted each other with pats on the shoulder. Zayn really had come a long way in just the past few months, I had to give him that.

We talked for a bit but the heavy arm of sleep was beckoning to me like a warm, cozy blanket, and I couldn’t fight it off any longer. I’m sure at some point they all figured out I had dropped off, and the next time I woke up, it was quite late and I was alone in the dark room. There was a note on the bedside table for me, scribbled in Taron’s handwriting, promising he’d stop by in the morning before going to set; I couldn’t begrudge him wanting to shower and actually get a good night’s sleep. My body was on fire, but I hesitated to hit the call button, figuring this pain was a sort of penance to be paid for all the wrong I’d done in my life.

I wasn’t a bad person, no, I didn’t believe that. Deep down, I’d always had good intentions. I loved the people around me, but when you’re a broken person, the way you love is broken too. And I knew Taron saw that, and understood that, even more than me. He was patient and kind in ways I didn’t deserve, but he gave that to me anyways. The only way I could begin to make amends, to try and fix the pain I’d caused him, was to try and love him the best I could. And that started with me, with fixing myself. I decided, then and there, that no matter how painful it would be, I would let the therapist dig deep, deeper than I’d ever let myself go, into the places I’d long ago sewn shut, the things I’d tried to forget. If I was ever going to heal, I needed to discover how deep the wounds were, and forgive every single person in my life that had caused that pain, and apologize to the little girl I was who lost her innocence long ago.

I slept fitfully for a while, waking up from troubled dreams, dreams full of memories of my father before he left, when he was drunk all the time and shouting and breaking things, scaring my mum and me, the times I hid in the bathroom cabinets, clutching my stuffed patchwork bunny until my mum would tearfully come find me, long after dad had passed out on the couch.

I’m pretty sure the nurse gave me more painkillers at some point in the night, because I woke from a deep, dreamless sleep the next morning to Taron’s sweet kisses peppering my face. “Morning, love,” he said with that adorable boyish grin of his. I smiled, happy at least to see him freshly showered and awake. I still felt exhausted, but that was probably how it would be for a while, until I recovered some more.

“G’morning,” I murmured softly, trying to shake the sleep out of my eyes. I had a dull headache but otherwise felt a little better than the day before. I had no idea when I’d be able to leave; there were more tests to be done before being discharged would even be considered. I giggled when Taron barged his way onto the bed, scooting me over gently, ever-careful of my tubes and wires. He cradled me in his arms, and I was all too happy to lay my head on his chest, hearing his heart beating.

“I think this might be against hospital protocol,” I said, actually laughing.

“Fuck the protocol. I’ve got this hot babe in my arms, so I think I might need treated too, for heatstroke,” he smirked.

“What? That doesn’t even make sense, T!” I giggled, but he didn’t care if it was stupid, he was just happy to see me smiling and laughing again. I was even hungry in the morning, so I ordered eggs and fresh fruit and Taron sat with me while I ate, finishing off my toast when I didn’t touch it.

He hated having to leave me but I didn’t mind so much, just grateful that he wanted to be there with me at all. “Go on, go be Elton and be great at it,” I smiled. “You know where I’ll be,” I smiled as he left a sticky jam kiss on my cheek.

“Of course. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” And with a wave, he was gone, but I didn’t have very much time to be bored. After posting something to social media and responding to more texts and chat messages, I had another steady stream of visitors, Leah and Pietre and Dennis included, and several other dancers I had come to call friends. I was touched by the outpouring of love and support. My mum visited again, grateful to see me in better spirits than the day before. And of course Madison came, bringing a massive bouquet that was so large it took up an entire corner of the room and perfumed the air with its floral fragrance.

“You’re ridiculous,” I said, but couldn’t help but laugh. She painted my nails while chatting about all the drama I was missing at the Academy, and if I closed my eyes I could very nearly pretend we were just sitting on my couch with wine and containers of Chinese takeout spread out before us. It made me feel normal, and not just like the “sick girl.” She even made me promise that I’d get better or she’d kick my ballerina ass, and I was grateful she didn’t pity me because pity wouldn’t get me through this.

So between visits and further medical tests, mostly to rule out any other issues, the day passed on quickly, and I received some good news by the evening. The doctor determined that come morning I could be sent home, where they were certain I’d be more comfortable, with one caveat; I had to keep the feeding tube for a few more weeks at best, until I could prove I was no longer a danger to myself. But I had been clear to the therapist that I was aware of my shortcomings, the control issues and painful past, the things that drove me to try and control my food intake in the first place. I wanted to get better, and that was crucial; you couldn’t make someone change if they were unwilling to do so. And I genuinely wanted to do better, even if trying to convince myself that my worth was more than my waistline would be an uphill battle.

Taron, of course, did his best to convince me I should hole up in his house with him, where he could keep a closer eye on me, and I didn’t have the energy to argue. So the following morning, after being instructed on how to prepare the feeding pump and bags, and getting me back into my real clothes, I happily signed the papers for dismissal. There would of course be follow-ups and therapist appointments, but this small step in my recovery was important. My mum had promised to keep an eye on my house for a while, and after stopping by to collect more clothes and toiletries and my phone charger and anything else that might be useful, Taron got me settled in on his couch with free reign of his Netflix. It wasn’t a bad arrangement, and I felt much better after I finally got a proper bath, with only a little help from Taron getting in and out of the tub with my bum leg.

While he was away filming, I decided I wasn’t just going to be this invalid in need of his total care, so after hobbling to the kitchen and snooping around in his fridge, I decided to make a curry for when he came home. It took a while to figure out a rhythm with the crutches, but eventually I had a skillet full of lean beef and green curry simmering away and a pot of rice steaming too. I’d just set out bowls and a basket of naan bread on the table when Taron came home again, surprised, of course, by my surprise.

“What is this, babe! You didn’t have to. I’m supposed to spoil you, you know,” he grinned.

“I dunno, I wanted to,” I said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me gently. “You didn’t have to do any of this for me. You don’t have to earn your way back into my good graces,” he said, gently tipping my face up to look at him.

“I want to give back. I feel like all I do is take and take, and all I’ve done is manage to hurt you. I want this to be an equal relationship,” I tried to explain.

“I don’t think you take and take from me and give nothing back. You make me happy, Juliette. You make me laugh. You support what I do, and you believe in me. You’re not here for my money or good looks,” he said sweetly.

“Well…maybe the good looks,” I teased lightly, making him chuckle.

“Giving back to me doesn’t have to be tangible goods. I don’t operate in black and white like that. You give back simply by being perfectly imperfect you.”

“Yeah, but you are perfectly perfect, so I feel inadequate all the time.”

“What? I’m not perfect. God… I have my flaws. I’ve been jealous, and angry, and bitter over things. I’ve been distant and cold to you too. I drink too much and don’t get enough sleep and sometimes let my house go to shit. I’m not perfect, I just try. I make the effort. It’s high time you had someone in your life making that effort for you.”

“You say such sweet things to me,” I replied softly, somehow struggling to comprehend he was saying these words to me.

“Well I mean them, so get used to it. You need to get used to being happy. Now, shall we eat this curry before it gets cold?”

“Yeah, of course,” I said lightly, both of us tucking into our bowls. I even managed to eat a few strips of naan, and considered it a victory; a small one, but life had to be lived by the small victories sometimes. We finished our food, had a lazy evening cuddling on the couch with a film we didn’t spend much time actually watching, and rather than waking me after I unintentionally dozed off, Taron carried me to bed.

Or at least I assumed that’s what happened, because I woke up some time in the night, needing to use the bathroom, Taron snoring softly next to me. As I watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling in the darkness, shadows shifting over his face, I realized how much I had truly missed him. How much I needed him. How much I wanted him.

An uncomfortable throbbing need woke up in my groin and I groaned slightly. My body could be a real asshole sometimes. I made myself get out of bed to prevent myself from waking Taron from his slumber, though I’m quite certain he probably wouldn’t have minded if I chose to have my way with him. I also just wasn’t in any shape to have sex at the moment, still bleeding and sore down there anyway. At least I wasn’t totally dead inside, I thought ruefully as I strapped myself back into my boot and stomped as quietly as I could to the bathroom, cringing every time the boot scraped over the wooden floor. I didn’t have to sleep in the thing, but I really couldn’t walk without it at the moment either.

After taking care of my needs I stared at myself in the mirror, at my pale face and rumpled hair and dull eyes, and sighed. I had no idea how Taron still found me attractive at all. But I could be that girl again, if I worked hard enough at it.

I returned to the bed and when I laid back down Taron rolled over and nuzzled into my neck. “Where’d you go?” he murmured, kissing my neck sweetly.

“I had to pee,” I laughed, shrugging at how easy it was to just announce that.

“Well, I hope it was a good trip then,” he giggled, sleep still thick in his voice.

“Um, yeah, it was adequate,” I joked back, running my fingers through his soft, fluffy hair. The movie had yet to hack his hair up but I knew that was coming very soon.

“Glad my facilities are up to your standards,” he snickered back. “God I love you,” he added, his breath hot on my neck and not helping the state of my arousal.

“I know,” I smiled, as he continued to kiss my neck, his fingers slowly working their way under my camisole, caressing the skin of my stomach. “I can’t, you know, not yet,” I whispered, and he sighed softly, light spilling in from between the blind slats reflecting in the deep orbs of his eyes.

“You should get some sleep,” he said, withdrawing his hand and making me sigh shakily.

“I want you, I just, my body,” I tried to explain, not very well, squeezing my eyes shut.

“It’s okay,” he grinned, kissing the tip of my nose cutely. “I know,” he said in return, pulling the blankets around me and humming softly as he settled in to fall asleep once more, his arm draped sweetly over me.

This was what I wanted the rest of my life to look like, this moment, a beautiful man beside me who stole my breath away, who didn’t judge me for my failings, who adored me and loved me with a love so pure I didn’t always know how to carry it. If there was anything to fight for, I knew it was a future with him.

Will Juliette continue to fight for herself, and for a future with Taron? Or will she let ghosts of her past haunt her? Keep reading to find out - Chapter 10, Coming Soon!

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