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#I don’t really care how people portray him
findafight · 2 days
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The "Robin would never date Steve's ex who broke his heart" take is FUCKING stupid for a lot of reasons.
First of off, the autonomy you're taking out of Robin with this.
Like she's not Steve's sidekick, she's not his yes man, she's an indepent girl who should be free to date any girl she wants.
She would never let her friendship with him ostacolate her love life.
Why the fuck she should do that?!
No one would.
And also, Steve is actually the one who hurt Nancy the most (slut Nancy Wheeler).
And if you think for a second that Robin would ever take Steve's side, then you're wrong.
Just stop centering everything around Steve, and stop reducing Robin to be just his sidekick, 'cause she's FUCKING not.
Hi! So. Pretty sure you found the most recent post I made (on April 6th) tagged anti rnce (and ONLY anti rnce. Not even stranger things. Just anti rnce and my personal original text post tag and a quip about choosing violence. So clearly if that’s how you got here you chose to not just send a post you disagreed with to your friends to rant about but came into my inbox and tried to start shit)And if you didn’t I truly don’t get how you, clearly a rnce fan, found me.
I’m going to be honest. Neither of us are going to change each other’s minds. I don’t like rnce for a lot of reasons, from i just don’t see a romantic spark there to a lot of the shippers being kinda shitty. I don’t care what you ship, really, just that. Claiming it’s canon or should be canon endgame etc gets annoying. And that a lot of the times the way I’ve seen the relationship portrayed (because, contrary to possibly popular belief, I have actually tried to read some fics for them. It’s also such a commonly untagged side or background pairing that I am subjected to it like that often as well) there’s so often weird terf or radfem red flags and alarm bells going off. I’ve seen someone harassed by rnce shippers for calling them out and then those shippers loudly regurgitating terf talking points like it’s fucking funny. I know all fandoms and ships have bad eggs but holy shit.
There’s been a few posts about how for some reason rnce fans try to portray people who don’t like it as making Robin Steve’s sidekick, when really we are acknowledging the facets of her characterization other than her lesbianism. Just because she likes girls doesn’t mean that’s the only thing that matters to her!
Yes, Robin liking girls is part of who she is, it influences how she acts and what she talks about, but it’s not the ONLY thing about her. She likes old movies, she enjoys pop and new wave music, she does her make up in her best friend’s car, she forgot to mention she never learned to drive because he forgot to ask if she could, she thinks combining into a super being with said best friend would possibly solve most of their problems.
Robin is a character who makes her own choices! She chooses to butt in at scoops, chooses to stay with Steve in the bunker to hold off the Russians, chooses to tell him her deepest secret, chooses to apply for jobs with Steve once they heal from the mall, chooses to spend a lot of time with him! And that’s rad. It gives us insight on who she is!
Whenever I’ve written or talked about Robin choosing not to date Nancy, I’ve always made it perfectly clear that it is Robin’s choice. Because given what we see of her in two seasons, Robin is loyal, and greatly values her friendship with Steve. Like. Regardless of how Steve feels about it, and I do think of Robin was legitimately interested in Nancy and Steve thought she had a chance, he’d encourage her to go for it. (Steve isn’t blindly encouraging Robin to hit on Vickie. He has high suspicions that Vickie is queer in some way too! She likes boobies!) I think Robin would think twice about it just because how much she encouraged stancy to get back together in s4.
Honestly, it makes me sad seeing how many times “why would robin choose her best friend’s feelings over getting a gf” is said because like. I value my friends’ feelings all the time. If I thought something I was doing was or would hurt them, I would reevaluate. Why WOULDNT Robin consider her best friend’s feelings? The first person she ever came out to? Who made her feel safe and accepted? Who made her laugh when she felt most vulnerable? Who she encouraged to get back with his ex? Romance is not a level up from friendship, it is not the endgame of life, it is not superior to any other relationship type. Treating friendships as less important to romance is something to reconsider and reevaluate.
Your last point. Anon, who is centring Steve now? Sure. He fucked up in s1. Literally no one denies that. He fucked up and he worked to make things right. He cleaned up the graffiti, he went to apologize to Jonathan, and he presumably apologized to Nancy, because she decided to date him for eleven months after that. I highly doubt there wasn’t heavy gossip about the graffiti or their breakup/makeup. I do agree that before Tina’s party Steve wasn’t helping Nancy as much as he could have, but Nancy wasn’t communicating to him either. They weren’t in the right place for each other. If we consider the alley the breakup, how is that not still breaking his heart? Yes Nancy was on a noble crusade, but it still had collateral damage. It’s something interesting about her character!
Robin wouldn’t be on board with the graffiti. But like. Steve’s changed and apologized since then. And She wasn’t there? She’s just here for the aftermath of Steve’s reignited feelings for Nancy. Idk. Both Steve and Nancy hurt each other in s1/2. It’s not a Steve v Nancy thing? It’s just an acknowledgment that of the two, Robin is closer to Steve. She’s more likely to consider him. She’s not omniscient to everything that happened or the persons feelings and reasons for doing it.
I’m sorry you don’t think friendship has an equal or greater value than some romantic relationship, it must suck. I also hope you find better things to do than to come to someone’s inbox and try to start something over a ship you like that they don’t.
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ilikebobcuts642 · 2 months
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It’s been a while since I’ve watched the anime so I completely forgot how much of Bucciarati’s more unprofessional lines they kept for it
But I’m assuming not much because I swear whenever I look at any Bucciarati content all his sass is just taken out
He’s been de-seasoned and I will not stand for it. Bring back the blunt, grumpy, and immature Bucciarati to me right now. No more of that quirky happy-go-lucky imposter, let him be as petty and as annoyed as he wants
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the-meme-monarch · 1 year
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i already dont like kr/alsei but people making it where the player is forcing them together amd still acting like it’s Cute. makes it even worse.
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sexbot300 · 2 months
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18+, minors dni! (being a slut for nanami bc honestly who isn’t)
authors note: hello! this is my first-ever post, i hope you guys enjoy it! (I literally have no idea how layouts work yet, bear with me)
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sugardaddy!nanami who scolds you whenever you feel as if you’re “doing too much,” with all the lavish gifts he gives you. nothing is too much for his angel.
sugardaddy!nanami that asks which jewelry set you like best. emerald or ruby? ah. how about both?
sugardaddy!nanami who you thought would be a joyless, serious man as people portray him. they’re not lying, he really is serious, to people that aren’t you. you’ll witness a soft side of him that only shows the most gentle of smiles.
sugardaddy!nanami who gladly scoops you up bridal style in his arms, walking while you burry your head into his chest.
sugardaddy!nanami who unpacks the gifts he gets you on the countertop after a business trip. “kento, baby, you shouldn’t have.” you play with the polyester ribbon while he simply leans back on the fridge opening up a beverage. “I couldn’t help but have the prettiest woman in the world waiting for me at home. it would be embarrassing of me to show up empty-handed.”
sugardaddy!nanami who for the first few times that you went out with him, meticulously kept track of the things you called “cute” and noted wherever your eyes wandered for a minute too long. the next morning you woke up with everything you ogled your eyes at decorating your room. attached is a note that read, “please forgive me, sweetheart, I didn’t know which you liked best. p.s. my sincerest apologies again, I let my own thoughts get carried away. be good for me and wear this tonight.” your fingers gingerly held onto the note, until your eyes fell on two things you don’t remember looking at when you went out shopping. a beautiful silk gown and an expensive lingerie set.
sugardaddy!nanami who will gladly kneel to strap your heel, placing a kiss on your ankle, after trailing his hand up and down your shin.
sugardaddy!nanami who sends you a monthly allowance for your hair, nails, skincare, and whatever you desire.
sugardaddy!nanami who thinks indulging in materialistic things is futile, but he wants to see you decorated in every fine piece of fabric, clothing, and accessories.
sugardaddy!nanami who acts as if he’s unbothered by you curling up on his lap while he types away on his work computer. you couldn’t even tell how much he adores every second of this as he idly types away. he loves to have you pushed up on him all the time, the minute you slightly move? a strong hand is placed on your thigh or waist to prevent you from leaving.
sugardaddy!nanami who’s only condition is to continue this dynamic until you’re unhappy or want nothing to do with it. (you literally want to marry this man but okay).
sugardaddy!nanami who has a saturday night ritual with you where you buy the most extravagant of desserts and feed it to each other. oh yeah, you have to be sitting on his lap the entire time while you both feed each other from the same fork.
sugardaddy!nanami who places his nose on the nape of your neck while you’re seated on him as he sharply breathes in your scent. “as much as I enjoy eating sweets with you,” he said in a whisper, “they could never mimic your taste.”
sugardaddy!nanami who started off paying your rent, bills, and utilities which he felt mentally, secretly disgruntled by. not because he’s paying (duh) or he has to take care of you, it’s just the fact you haven’t moved in with him yet.
sugardaddy!nanami who considers you under his care and deems your wellbeing as his responsibility. you’re hurt? point to where. your body is sore? lay back down while he massages you. you’re hungry? food is being sent over and here’s money for grocery shopping. you’re upset? he kneels down in front of you as he attentively listens to your sobs.
sugardaddy!nanami who supports your hobbies. he’ll drop off little things that he knows have to do with your interests and only says, “you like this don’t you?” you name drop pilates, cooking, art, knitting, whatever it is, he signs you up for the nearest classes.
sugardaddy!nanami who actually notices if you did something different with your hair, if you wore a new shade of lip gloss. little things.
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sugardaddy!nanami who places the most tender of kisses onto your forehead like he didn’t wreck your shit a second prior. “such a good girl… i’m so so proud. taking my cock in so well.”
sugardaddy!nanami that plays with your body in subtle ways. hands? his big, veiny fingers are stroking yours gently. thighs? constantly getting gripped. your waist? a strong arm wrapped around it. your cheek? a thumb stroking it. shoulders? relieving tension from it. collarbone? rearranging your necklace so it lays properly. guts? fucked out of place. makeup? smeared all across his luxurious bedsheets. lips? blown out from sucking his monster cock and making out.
sugardaddy!nanami who rents out an entire summer beach house with a glorious view of the ocean. partially because he likes the privacy of you two alone, surrounded by nature, and romantic sunset dinners. also because he wants to watch you ride him while he leans back on a beach chair without disturbing the public. (nobody is allowed to see what’s his).
sugardaddy!nanami who actually pounded you into another dimension, your mind still in a haze while he carries you to the running bath. “stay with me princess, i need to clean you up.”
sugardaddy!nanami who makes sure you finish several times before he does. oh poor baby, you’re out of breath? would you like some water? we’re not finished yet. poor nanami didn’t get to cum once, and you so badly want him to use your body to do so.
sugardaddy!nanami who buys you a personal collection of sex toys to play with when he’s not there. he personally studies the way your body twitches and convulses with certain toys, he needs to know how to please his princess. sometimes he chuckles to himself because he knows deep down, nothing– no one, can please you the way he does.
sugardaddy!nanami who sees you stressed or crying over school and work and quickly replaces those tears with ones of joy.
sugardaddy!nanami who will have you folded like a damn lawn chair and only whisper sweet nothings while drilling into you.
sugardaddy!nanami who has a high sex drive but hides it in the beginning like the gentleman he is, making sure you feel comfortable and safe.
sugardaddy!nanami who gives you the car you’ve been wanting forever. you ride the car for a bit with him ecstatic, kissing him over and over, giggling. you both quickly found a new way to celebrate. you’re pinned down over the glove compartment, one large hand gripping both of yours as they’re pinned to your back, and the sounds of skin slapping with your loud moans mix in the air. “ke-n-toooo~ I-I don’t want to ge- uh! It m-messy in h-ere…” “don’t worry darling, I-” a low grunt comes out, “i always cum inside dont I?” he quickens up the pace only to have you screaming like a whore. “t-that’s it. just take it. It feels good, I know,” he mercilessly pounds into you, kissing your temple, “just come undone on me, that’s it. make me proud.”
sugardaddy!nanami who texts you to quickly come to the office and sends you a cab for an urgent “visit.” why? he’s stressed and his favorite method to cool down is your throat expanding around his girthy dick. he'll grip the strands of your hair while cooing at you, "i know angel, i know. but you look so beautiful right now, don't stop."
sugardaddy!nanami who groans from the stressors of his job, turning his attention to you while he pushes himself back on his chair. he looks down on his bulge before sighing and tugging his tie down left and right. “go ahead. come suck me off, i need it and I know you want it too.”
sugardaddy!nanami who does the whole pillow underneath, hand pressed on lower abdomen, with a vibrator wand abusing your clit.
sugardaddy!nanami who has a diet that consists of devouring your pussy on a regular basis. “b-babe… i- ah! s-slow down,” as you elicit a loud dirty moan that fills the room, “pleaaaase.” if only you knew he takes more pleasure out of this than you and you’re the one gripping his hair to the point of leaving his scalp red. he further pushes his nose into you, mumbling, “beg all you want, I’m not done.”
sugardaddy!nanami who is a gentleman, really. who will kill anything within 5 meters if it remotely threatens you. but he can’t help but admire the way your little cunt can’t fully take it the first few times together.
sugardaddy!nanami who never thought much of daddy kinks, but when he hears “daddy” slip out of your precious mouth, his heels dig deeper into the mattress, his massive body weight shifts crushing you, angling his dick in an almost sinful way while pressing you deeper into a mating press. “say it again.”
sugardaddy!nanami who watches you squirm with a vibrator jammed to your clit and his tongue lapping up and down your cunt like any separation from his tongue and your pussy will cause his death. “k-kento s-stop this feeli- ah! I th- oh god! I think I need to pee!” he can’t help but chuckle in his head. his baby never squirted before until now.
sugardaddy!nanami who secretly wants to get you knocked up. man loves fucking his cum into you. he has such a big breeding kink that you catch on.
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kafkasmuses · 13 days
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the last days of judas iscariot — luke castellan + reader : betrayal hurts the saints the most. 
tags : mdni, dark!luke, angry kissing, religious imagery & symbolism, body worship, angst and smut, love confessions, p in v sex, corruption kinks, implied blood kink, hints of cannibalism
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there was something off about luke castellan. 
he used to be caring, sweet and selfless— he did everything for the people around them, offered them smiles even if it was difficult on his lips, did anything to ease their pain, built himself up into a saint. but eventually, saints will fall, whether it be their own doing, or a martyrdom. 
this was no martyrdom, he was not crucified, strung up on an olive tree, nor stoned. 
this was a conscious decision that nobody else, besides his own self, would understand. it was so, so unlike him, luke was never one to betray the people around him, well, at least he didn’t portray himself that way. if you really knew luke, you’d know how much he hated the gods, he felt as though he was a despicable creation of theirs, and he’ll return the same despising looks. 
but the story starts days before that, luke was as he always was. he offered you a smile from across the training field, and you returned it full - heartedly, waving at him. he moves to approach you, ignoring his sparring partner, “hey, do you need a partner?” 
you glance around for a second, “don’t you already have one?” 
his lips curve to a smirk, “i’d rather be with you.” 
luke castellan had a thing for flirting with you, even if he was just being a tease, and didn’t entirely mean what he said— sometimes you thought he didn’t, or he never did, but in all honesty, he meant everything. 
he admired you beyond proper comprehension, and you did the same with him. having been friends for years, it was no shock when your gazes would linger on each other for longer than they should, when he would do anything to make you smile even if it costs him his reputation. 
on the first day, luke was as he always was, confident, grinning and sweet. 
then the second day came, and luke’s smiles began to fade faster, he looked more tired, there was a certain mournful air that clung to his skin and radiated off of him. you picked up on it immediately, frowning at him and pulling him off to the side even when he was busy, “are you okay?” 
“what?” his saliva feels thick in his mouth, like globs of nectar that feel poisonous underneath their sweet skin. 
“i said— luke, what’s going on?“ you can’t deny how he seems to be out of order on everything, he was even fighting angrier, too, with a revengeful glint in his eye. 
“i really, really don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“yes, you do.” 
and it only got weirder from there, on the third day, he looked straight up exhausted, like he hadn’t slept the past two nights, and now he was being told to take a break from sword fighting because of how rough he was being. smiles were common from him now but cut off quick, and laughs became rare. he wasn’t trying to make anyone else around him smile or laugh, and he always just looked angry, guilty angry. 
when you waved at him, he didn’t wave back, nor approach you. 
he didn’t want to speak to anyone, so he just didn’t talk. 
he’s suffering from something, you just don’t know what, and whenever you asked him, he shrugged it off with, “i’m just tired.” 
“i know, you look really tired, luke, do you need melatonin?” 
his teeth grit together, and the taste of nectar in his mouth had disappeared, now it was all just bitter poison, “i need to be left alone.” 
“luke—“ 
“please leave me be.” 
if anyone were to ask you now, they’d know you regret leaving that night, not forcing him to speak about it with you. the next night, another camper told you about what luke had done, and you hate the way you don’t feel entirely shocked, not even a little bit, not even at all. 
luke castellan had a fig tree branching out in front of him, so many possibilities, so many stories to be told, and yet his fingers wrapped around the only rotten fruit on the whole ripe tree. two thousand years ago, there was a man exactly like luke, one who went by the name judas, and in luke’s complete distaste of the bible and anything to do with it— he found himself undeniably following the same path of the man who betrayed jesus. 
“ i desire the things
that will destroy me
in the end ”
  — sylvia plath. 
it was a bad idea to seek out luke that night, you knew it well, and luke knew it too when he frowned at you almost immediately after seeing you. he was still in the woods, only alone now, closer to the shore, closer to the riper fig that called his name— the one labeled captain. 
“why are you here?“ his tone is sharper, harsher, but you don’t shy away. 
“why’d you do it?” you watch him visibly swallow at the question, as if he doesn’t want to answer it, even when it’s on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason it would hurt to say out loud. 
he bites the bullet, “you know— the gods, they’re awful, don’t you think they deserve this?“ 
“is that where your heart lies?” the question seems to scorch his skin more than the last, because it’s just a continuous waking to what he’s truly done, how the prophecy haunts him even in his desperate attempts to evade it. 
“i’ve suffered enough, because of them, because of him— so yes, that is where it lies.” 
“you think your suffering is just a one way street?” you pester, anger bubbling in your veins— this was selfish, entirely selfish, he was never the selfless man you once knew, this wasn’t the luke you knew, “it’s not, it wasn’t— you had the chance, luke, to deprive yourself from it.” 
“are you just here to lecture me?” luke’s jaw locks. 
“why are you being like this?” 
luke’s eyebrow twitches, as if he’s mentally debating saying it out loud, but albeit all odds, his lips part, “why don’t you ask that guy you’ve been hanging out with?” 
“what?” it’s hard to realize certain things when you’ve been so focused on one person, you were so caught up on your fears for luke you didn’t even realize that the whole time you were thinking of him, you were blatantly speaking with another man in front of his eyes. 
to the trained eye, they’d know you never had any real feelings for the man you spoke with, but luke was too blinded by his own guilt and resentment that he didn’t realize it himself. it was a wild string of miscommunications formed into a single spider’s web, exactly like judas’ betrayal of jesus. 
INTERLUDE : JUDAS ISCARIOT ( A STUDY ) 
judas iscariot is often portrayed as the traitor in the story, fueled by greed and his resentment that jesus has something he never will. in the original story, judas is put in the narrative as satan’s pawn, judas’ fate is already written down, and he has no way of pushing it back. satan selects him from a group as he is weak, easily moved, and satan had possessed him body and soul and lived out his personal purpose through the vessel. 
the son of perdition : the one doomed to destruction. 
god personally protected all of his other saints from satan, so why not judas? why was judas never enough? was he never righteous enough to be saved? jesus loved him, jesus held his face in his holy hands, and yet he never shielded him. 
judas is a pawn, a thief, a coward, and a denier of the lord. 
judas, in all fairness, is the spitting image of luke castellan. 
“is it ever anybody else, luke?” 
as if arrow met skin, luke’s brows furrow together like you’ve hit him. 
there’s a pause, a deafening silence. 
“i miss you,” you speak again. 
luke’s nose crinkles, “uh-huh.” 
“i miss you, luke.” 
luke castellan is going to hell tonight, he’s going to be scorched in the underworld, so he bites his tongue and he moves in. the kiss is angry, teeth clashing, tongues twisting, lips bruising, but luke wouldn’t want it any other way. he wonders that if, in this kiss, do you forgive him? having been someone praised by the gods, the favored one, did you forgive the one who seemingly betrayed them to most? 
the kiss says how could you? and i’m sorry at the exact same time. 
his hands are quick to grip on your skin like you were his lifeline, tugging you in closer, and smiling against your lips when you melt into his touch so easily. you knew how cruel of a man he was, all the things he did wrong, all the people he had hurt— and yet you’re easing against him like he’s a saint. 
his teeth show his hunger well, nipping at your lip until you hiss and pull away with blood bubbling from a fresh wound. at first, he wants to smile, but he finds some mercy, moving his hand to hold your chin, thumb smudging the blood, “‘m sorry, didn’t mean to, swear.” 
you knew he was lying, you knew he wanted to see you bleed, he liked the way your skin trembled under his touch, the way that even when shock dilates your pupils— you don’t want to pull away from him. in fact, something about it is oddly attractive to you, how sick is that. 
his other hand grips your waist, fingers curling cruelly, “could i..” 
undress you? touch you? luke isn’t sure of the proper words, they sit on the tip of his tongue, but something has him too afraid to say it so bluntly. that’s ironic, considering he didn’t hesitate to steal and lie. luke was still the loser he’s always been, deep down, he’s never known how to actually speak to women. 
you knew this well, it was something you always made fun of him for, but now you only smile sweetly at him. “of course, luke.” 
luke’s hands are desperate when they move to take off your clothes, quick and ruthless, but still so caring at the same time. it was confusing with luke, everything he did had two different sides that would merge together in an unlikely unison. harsh and gentle, bitter and sweet, mean and kind. 
his brows furrow when he dips in, pressing his lips to the skin of your neck, pushing you back into the scratching bark of the tree behind you. adam and eve, right after the bites of the apple offered to them. luke wants to sink his teeth into you, to bite until he draws blood, to devour you whole and call you his. 
that’s… normal, right? 
he doesn’t care, he’s only focused on the shallow breaths that pass by your lips with every scrape of his teeth on the skin being pulled between his lips. his fingers lead themselves further, dipping below the waistband of your underwear and further until you’re gasping and gripping at his wrist. 
“luke.. luke,” you plead, whimpering out for his fingers to have some mercy on your clit— luke ignores you, focused on the pleasure that’s coursing underneath your skin. he memorizes the thump of your pulse against his lips on your neck, the way it speeds up when his fingers dare to graze your entrance. you want it so bad, and it’s taking everything in luke to not be a cocky asshole about it. 
he eventually pulls away from your neck to admire his work, “have you always wanted me to touch you like this?” 
there’s something so poetic about someone who has betrayed the gods you love the most, ruining you. you truly could be awarded for how much you worshiped them, so unlike to everyone around you. they thought their parents were like anybody else, albeit just a little cooler, but you— you felt like a prophet. 
maybe you were, maybe luke was. 
maybe when the oracle whispered the prophecy she mentioned the fall of a saint, and the way he tugged another down with him. 
you look at him fondly, lips parted and puffy from biting, “always.. please.” 
please ; a simple plea, but it makes luke grin like a devil. his eyes follow your hands when you move to undo his belt, tugging at his jeans as if his fingers aren’t making your knees buckle. luke licks his lips, and finally allows you some mercy when his fingers leave your underwear, although you frown from the loss of friction. “i’ll make it up to you, yeah?” 
luke’s boxers and jeans are falling to the floor in seconds, he stifles a chuckle at your shocked expression to his size, only growing cockier and cockier with each second of this ordeal. it reaches it’s peak when he’s pushing into you, hand on your thigh holding up your leg with ease. 
his nose brushes against your cheek, whispering sweet nothings in between faint grunts with each thrust. you’re so pretty, always dreamed of this, better pray the gods aren’t watching. the last comment should piss you off, but it doesn’t, not at all— in fact, it only makes you wetter, the idea that the people you have given everything for are watching you being fucked by someone who despises them. 
his free hand moves up to your neck, wrapping around the bruised skin there, and gripping it enough to barely constrict your air flow. 
due to the choking, and the force of his thrusts, along with all his taunting words, it doesn’t take long for you to cum on his dick— and he doesn’t last long either. 
he finds himself panting against you, slowly pushing out. 
“you really should pray for forgiveness.” 
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saltwatersweets · 2 months
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i think it’s really funny how many people say that alastor is ace, not aroace, just because viv has only called him ace.
love you guys but you are GRAPHICALLY overestimating people’s knowledge on aromanticism and asexuality and how they are different. they have been confused with each other since their existence, and just because someone is queer doesn’t mean they’re incapable of confusing the terms or using them interchangeably. alastor is clearly shown to not have romantic feelings, just take a look at some of the official jokes.
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both of these are explicitly non-romantic. not just non-sexual, they are both jokes and comments about being aromantic, not asexual.
yes, rosie only mentions him being asexual in episode seven, but again, this is a joke made about the idea of him being in a ROMANTIC relationship. unless rosie was implying that she knows alastor and charlie wouldn’t fuck? which 😭😭 i don’t think she would do that??? it was definitely a joke about him not wanting romance because of his romantic and sexual orientation. and yes, i understand how annoying it is that asexuality and aromanticism are being used interchangeable in this instance, and this is an issue ace/aro people have been facing for years, but this is clearly a joke about him being aroace, not just ace.
again, you guys are giving alloromantic/allosexual people WAY too much credit on how much they know about ace/aro people, when most of their knowledge (if any) is “asexual people dont want sex, aromantic people don’t want romance” and that’s it. vivziepop, despite being queer herself, is still allo as far as im aware. allo people BARELY know anything about asexuality or aromanticism or care to learn the difference, and it’s clear that aro/aceness is being used interchangeably here. alastor is portrayed as aroace, and is clearly meant to be seen as aroace, even though he’s only ever been explicitly called ace by viv.
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heeology · 8 months
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god, you're annoying | l.hs
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synopsis → ever since you and heeseung have come into each others' lives, he has been asking you out and flirting with you nonstop. for years, the cycle of him confessing his feelings to you and you rejecting every single one of his advances seems as though it has gone on forever. being fed up, you develop a plan to pretend as though you already have a boyfriend (spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well). after years of continuously trying to get heeseung off of your radar, you just can’t seem to get rid of him and suddenly (to your surprise), you find yourself not being bothered as much by his presence.
feat. → yeonjun (txt), yunjin (le sserafim), beomgyu (txt), minjeong (aespa), jake (enhypen), sunghoon (enhypen), jay (enhypen)
genre → university AU, enemies to lovers, romance, smut
pairing → nonidol!heeseung x fem!reader
warnings → MDNI, kinda long but bear w me pls
w.c. → 9k
disclaimer!! → any other idols mentioned in this story (that I portray are dating) i do not ship irl; this story is a work of fiction a.k.a. something derived from my delusions and imagination, take this story lightly pls and thx.
!!DO NOT COPY OR REPOST!!
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Everyday you walk onto campus and make sure you avoid eye contact with a “certain someone” and even though the outcome always remains the same, you still hope that one day it will actually make a difference. Unfortunately for you, on your campus, there is only one way to get to your morning class which makes this “certain someone” rather happy to know that you practically have to see him everyday. Although you try your best, he never fails to call out your name, even if you try hiding behind other people; he can spot you from a mile away. This, you find to be annoying. He, however, looks forward to this moment every day because what other reason is there to get up early in the morning if it means he doesn’t get to see you?
You hear him call after you as you try to quickly make your way to your first class which, luckily for you, does not include him. You can hear his footsteps hurrying towards you making you break out into a light jog to your classroom door that is just ahead. You reach for the door handle and open it just enough to let yourself in and as you are about to close it behind you, a hand from the other side stops you, forcing it back open enough for you to be face-to-face with the one and only bane of your existence: Lee Heeseung.
He gives you a cocky smile receiving an eye roll from you as you can already hear his irritating voice begin to say a bunch of sentences and words that you couldn’t care any less about because you couldn’t care any less about him. Heeseung is fully aware about how you feel about him and although some most of his actions are–-yes, he’ll admit–-advertently creepy, he means no harm. You, of course, don’t see it that way, but that doesn’t stop him. 
“You didn’t hear me calling your name?” he asks, knowing that you did and also knowing that you ignored him, but he just wants to hear any snarky reply you have because that’s the only time when you actually acknowledge his presence. 
“Nope, must’ve missed it.” you say in a fake sympathetic tone. 
He lets out a “hmm” and you mock him. He smirks, leaning a little closer to you. You would move away, but then you figured he might take that as his chance to open the door more, so you decide to stay put. 
“I was just wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner with me. There is this restaurant that my family and I only go to on special occasions and I think you’ll really like it.”
There it is, him asking you to the same stupid restaurant that you have said no to many (and you mean many) times before. You know what restaurant he is talking about, some way overpriced place that only really rich people go to. You clenched your jaw as your hand gripped the edge of the door a little tighter. He smiled at you, which you thought was him being smug, but rather it was him anticipating your answer. He meant what he said and he just wants to be given a chance to show you how much he likes you. 
Him asking you out to this restaurant, always offering to buy your lunch, pay for your snacks, or buy you some other object just felt as him rubbing his money in your face, making all of his attempts seem as though they are a joke; that you are a joke. Ever since middle school, when you and Heeseung had first met, he made his “crush” on you apparent, which all of the other kids found to be funny and ridiculous. You know he doesn’t actually like you and you hate him for still acting like this even though you both are now grown adults and not eleven year old children who still ride in the car with their parent on their way to school everyday. 
“Well, if you think I’ll like it, then I’ll surely hate it.” you reply.
“You’re only saying that be-”
“No, Heeseung, I will not go out with you and for the last time: stop bothering me.” you say sternly.
You scowl at him and he can’t help but find you to be adorable. He knows you’re annoyed by him, but there isn’t anyone else he would rather spend his time with other than you, even if his only way to spend time with you is by pestering you constantly. 
“I’m just going to ask you again tomorrow.” he says with a smile.
You knew he wasn’t joking about that and that made your blood begin to boil. You hated having to be bothered by him, you hated feeling like a joke, you hated seeing his stupid face everyday, and you hated how it seems like he doesn't even care. You have to put a stop to this, you simply can’t take it anymore. But how? You’ve tried everything, what other way could there possibly be? Then it clicked. You stood up straighter, looking him directly in his eyes. He found himself a little taken aback by your sudden eye contact, but didn’t want to show it; to show how you make him flustered and blush just by simply looking at him.
“Heeseung, I have a boyfriend.” you say, trying not to smile.
You don’t know how you didn’t think of this before, but you’re overjoyed that the idea finally came. His smile drops–for a split second–as he felt the wind practically get knocked out of him like someone had just suckerpunched him in the gut. You were bluffing, you had to be…right?
“Pfft, I don’t believe you.” he says, letting go of the door, only to cross his arms and lean against the doorframe.
You feel your face become hot as you stand your ground, “And what exactly makes you say that?”
“I’ve never seen you with your “boyfriend”.” he says, making air quotes.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t have one.”
“Well it surely doesn’t mean that you do.”
“I know you stalk me because you have nothing better to do with your life, but that doesn’t mean you know what I do every second of the day.”
He shrugs his shoulders, not buying a word that you are saying. He keeps telling himself that you are lying, but what if that small percentage of possibility actually means you are telling the truth? He doesn’t want to think about that, he has to believe that you are lying.
“Okay, what’s his name, then?” he asks, confident that you won’t have an answer.
Shit. How do you answer that? You try not to show your worry in your expression and quickly try to come up with an answer. You open your mouth to speak, hoping the words that do end up coming out make sense.
“Yeonjun.” you reply.
Well, you said a name and that’s all that counts. Sure, it’s the name of your best friend’s boyfriend, but she won’t mind if you use him for a lie…right? Now it’s Heeseung’s turn for him to clench his jaw. He scoffs, rolling his eyes before looking back at you.
“Then how come I’ve never seen you with him on campus?”
“Because he goes to another school, idiot.”
“How did you two meet?”
“Through my best friend; they go to school together.”
You could see him become more annoyed with your answers as you tried to say them with as much confidence as possible. 
“I still don’t believe you.” he says, less certain of what he is saying than before.
You’re so close and you know it, you just need to say something that will make him back-off once and for all.
“I’ll have him bring me to school tomorrow.” you said, now being the one to cross your arms as you smiled smugly.
Heeseung felt his blood run cold, terror now coursing through his veins. Were you actually telling the truth? He didn’t want to see you with some other guy, most definitely not someone who you are claiming to be your boyfriend. The thought made him both upset and annoyed. What do they have that he doesn’t? He’s the one who has been trying to show how much he likes you for years now and some rando comes in and sweeps you off of your feet? Over his dead body.
“Okay,” he says while standing up from leaning on the door, “I can’t wait to see you and a bunch of air walk into school tomorrow.”
“You still think I’m lying?”
He shrugs his shoulders, looking away before looking back at you.
“I just find it hard to believe.”
“That I have a boyfriend?”
“You could say that.”
Man, you couldn’t wait to prove him wrong (even though he is technically right). You fake laugh at his reply and stop as you grab his hand. He feels butterflies erupt in his stomach from your sudden contact and is so distracted that he isn’t even paying attention to what you are doing, which is putting his hand on the door frame. You plaster on a fake smile before quickly swinging the door shut. He snaps out of his daze and moves his hand out of the way just in time before it could have been smashed by the door. 
-
Beomgyu didn’t think to even hold back his laughter once the words left your mouth and although the music in the club was blaring through the speakers, you could still hear his piercing voice. The others, however, were a little more surprised to hear what you had said, especially Yunjin and Yeonjun. You had a guilty smile on your face as you exchanged glances between the two and then Yeonjun scoffed. He raised his glass in a ‘cheers’ manner and Yunjin slapped his shoulder.
“It’s honestly not that bad of a plan,” Minjeong says, trying to defuse the tension, “Yunjin, you know better than any of us here how badly this guy bothers her.”
Yunjin sighs before she chugs the rest of her drink from her cup. “You can borrow my boyfriend on one condition: it doesn’t go too far.” She says, pointing between you and Yeonjun. 
You both look at each other and cringe. Yeonjun puts his arm around Yunjin and she smiles. He kisses her temple, “As if that would ever happen.”
“So how exactly are you going to convince him?” Yunjin asks.
You chug the rest of your drink, wincing as the alcohol burns your throat. “Is it cool if Yeonjun takes me to school tomorrow? I was thinking all he has to do is walk me to my class and just essentially tell Heeseung to back off.”
“He’s not going to do it unless he believes it.” Beomgyu points out as he leans back into the booth.
“He’s right, him walking you into school isn’t going to be enough to convince him; he sounds persistent.” Minjeong agrees.
“The most he is allowed to do is kiss you on the cheek to make it believable, but that’s it.” Yunjin says looking at Yeonjun to make sure he understands.
“I don’t get a say in whether or not I agree to this?” Yeonjun asks, looking at everyone, but landing on you.
“No.” the rest of you say in unison.
He laughs before finishing his drink. “Okay. I’ll pick you up at seven thirty.”
-
Even as Yeonjun pulls his motorcycle to a stop in front of your campus, he can still feel your fingernails practically digging into his stomach. 
He lifts up the visor on his helmet, “Can you please stop trying to claw your way into my intestines?”
You let go of him all together and he lets out the breath that he has been holding in. 
“Sorry.” you say, it sounding muffled under the helmet. He smiles, taking off his helmet after getting off the bike. He sets his helmet down and holds out his hand for you to take. You take it, him helping you off, before he helps you take off the helmet. “Thanks.” you say and he shrugs his shoulders as a reply. 
He glances over his shoulder, noticing people looking at him and you, whispering. “So, which one is the stalker?” he asks, trying to be discreet.
You turn your head to look, not seeing Heeseung anywhere, oddly enough. You scoff, “The one day he isn’t here is the day that you bring me.” you roll your eyes and Yeonjun shrugs.
“Well, see you later.”
“Woah-wait. I still need you to walk me.” you say, grabbing one of his shoulders to stop him from leaving.
“What? Why? You just said he isn’t here.”
“That doesn’t mean that I don’t need reinforcements.”
Yeonjun groans, but turns back around to face your campus. You clear your throat before reaching to hold his hand. You intertwine your fingers, looking at each other through the corners of your eyes, confirming that you’re ready to go. You walk hesitantly at first, but the further you get, Yeonjun releases his hand from yours to put his arm around you. Low and behold, once you made your way to the front of your class, Heeseung was there waiting right beside the door.
He, of course, hadn’t been there the whole time. He was pacing back and forth in the bathroom before working up the courage to actually make his way to your class, a part of him hoping he had just missed you so he wouldn’t actually have to see you with someone else. Yet there you are, walking up to him (well, your class), with some dude who looked like he was trying too hard to be cool with his arm around you. He felt sick and the closer you came, the more he felt like vomiting. 
You smiled, stopping in front of your class door with Yeonjun. 
“Oh Heeseung, you’re actually here, I thought you chickened out.”
He smiles, annoyed. His gaze shifts over to Yeonjun and Yeonjun smirks.
“So this is Heeseung?” He asks, eyeing him up and down.
Heeseung pokes his tongue in the side of his cheek. He looks back at Yeonjun and eyes him up and down before crossing his arms. Although he currently feels sick to his stomach, he’s still a little suspicious. 
“Am I supposed to believe you’re her boyfriend?”
Yeonjun scoffs, crossing his arms, “You can believe what you want,” he steps closer to Heeseung, leaning close to his ear making Heeseung tense up, “but you better stop messing with her regardless.”
He pulls back, smiling at Heeseung and patting one of his shoulders. Heeseung scowls, wiping off his shoulder as Yeonjun turns to you. You smile at him, ignoring Heeseungs glares.
“Have a good day, babe.” he says before kissing you on your cheek. He glances back over his shoulder before snickering at Heeseung and walking away.
You smile proudly at Heeseung while he looks at you in complete and utter shock. Did he just see what he think he just saw? He couldn’t believe it, he didn’t want to believe it. 
“Well,” you say, making him snap out of his thoughts, “you heard him: stop bothering me.” you say before going into your class.
-
“I heard from some people that he has a motorcycle and he brought her on it today.” Jake says while taking some food off of Sunghoon’s tray, earning a glare from him.
Heeseung rolls his eyes, clenching his fork harder in his hand. “I don’t get it, he’s not even her type.”
Sunghoon laughs and Heeseung scowls at him. “How would you know? You’re not exactly close with her.”
“I think it’s time for you to just leave her alone, you’ve been bugging her since we were kids.” Jay comments.
Heeseung goes quiet. Should he give up? He reminisces about the time he first saw you, laughing with your friend, and the only thing he could think about was how pretty you look when you smile. He isn’t the type to hide how he feels and he thought you would be pleasantly surprised by how open he is about how he feels about you, but when you rejected him after he bought you your favorite drink, he was confused. He didn’t want to give up, though, because all he wanted was to be able to make you laugh just like when he first saw you.
“Jay’s right, the joke has gone on for long enough.” Jake adds.
Heeseung looks up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Joke? What are you talking about?”
Before Jake can answer, a girl walks up and takes a seat in one of the open chairs at the table. Everyone’s eyes go to her as she smiles.
“Hi,” she says shyly, “Heeseung, can I speak with you privately?”
“No, thanks.” he replies, continuing to eat his food.
Jake tries to suppress his laugh and Jay kicks him from under the table. Jake’s smile falls as he kicks Jay back.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish.” Jay warns.
“You started it.” Jake mumbles.
“Well, I was just wondering,” everyone looks back at the girl, momentarily forgetting she was even there, “if you would like to get coffee with me after school.” she says, moving some of her hair behind her ear.
“No, thanks.” Heeseung says in the same uninterested tone as before, not bothering to spare her another glance as he continues eating.
She sits there, a little taken aback as an awkward silence settles. Sunghoon clears his throat before taking another bite of his food. The girl stands up and walks away, not bothering to push back in the chair; Jay and Jake watch her as she leaves.
“She was cute, why did you say no?” Jake asks.
“We know why.” Jay says, drinking some of his water.
“You’ve been turning down every girl that asks you out for years, don’t you want to at least try and date someone?” Jake asks.
Heeseung groans and sets down his fork. “What’s the point? No one else is worth the time.”
-
“You all should have seen his face.” Yeonjun beams as you and your friend group continue roaming throughout the mall.
“So, it worked?” Minjeong questioned and you nodded your head happily.
“I didn’t see him for the rest of the day and he didn’t say anything else once Yeonjun left.” you replied happily.
“And there was nothing more than a kiss on the cheek?” Yunjin questioned.
“Of course.” Yeonjun says, kissing her quickly.
You and the others groan as they both just smile at each other. 
“Oh!” Minjeong says, grabbing your hand. You look at her and then the store she was looking at, “They finally restocked the perfume I was telling you about.”
“I can’t afford that.”
She rolls her eyes, “You can’t, but I can, now come on.” she says, pulling you with her.
“I’d rather not be stuck with you two sickos, so I’m going to go with them.” Beomgyu states to Yunjin and Yeonjun before heading off to follow you and Minjeong. 
Yeonjun grimaces and mocks Beomgyu as he walks off and Yunjin laughs.
As much as Heeseung would rather have gone home straight after classes than come to the mall to help Jake pick out a new keyboard, he came anyway due to his friend’s consistent pestering. 
“You’re paying me back for gas money, I hope you know that.” Heeseung mumbles.
Jake scoffs, “You’re richer than I am, besides, friends carpool other friends.” Heeseung rolls his eyes as he and Jake make their way to the store. Heeseung opens his mouth to say something, but is caught off guard by loud giggling coming across from where he and Jake are. Both of them look in the direction of where the noise is coming from to see Yeonjun and Yunjin laughing, her hitting his shoulder playfully and him scattering kisses on her face. Heeseung stops dead in his tracks. Jake stops walking and looks between Heeseung and the couple. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
Heeseung could feel anger surging through his body. Isn’t that guy your boyfriend? Why was he so publicly flirting with this other girl? Is he cheating on you? Unknown to him, Heeseung was walking towards the two, blinded by rage. Jake tries to call after him, but it just sounded like static to Heeseung. Jake rushes to catch up to him, trying to figure out what he was going to do and why he was even doing something in the first place. Heeseung stands in front of Yeonjun, making both Yeonjun and Yunjin turn their attention towards him.
“Shit.” Yeonjun mumbles.
Heeseung didn’t have the patience to ask any questions, he knew he was right in the first place. This guy had some nerve to hurt you like this, so before anyone had another chance to say a word, Heeseung clenched his hand into a fist and punched Yeonjun in the face.
“What the hell!?” Yunjin exclaims, grabbing onto Yeonjun’s arm as he falls to the ground.
Heeseung didn’t pay any attention to the throbbing pain from his hand and raises his fist to punch him again, but Jake stops him. Yeonjun touches his face, blood dripping from his nose as he looks up at Heeseung, clenching his jaw in anger.
“You son of a b-”
“Don’t start with that, you’re the one cheating.”
Yunjin scoffs and stands up to slap Heeseung. “You have some nerve to punch my boyfriend, asshole.”
“What the hell is going on?” Beomgyu questions as you, him, and Minjeong come out from the store.
You look around to see the chaos that has ensued as well as people starting to crowd around all of you.
“This idiot punched my boyfriend because he thinks he’s cheating on you.” Yunjin says shooting you a glare as she helps Yeonjun off of the floor.
“You did what?” you turn to Heeseung.
“Isn’t he your boyfriend? Why aren’t you upset that he’s cheating on you?” Heeseung asks, confused and starting to feel the pain from his hand as the adrenaline and anger start to subside.
You open your mouth to say something, but Yunjin interrupts you. “Maybe because he isn’t actually her boyfriend.”
Heeseung looks between you and her, confused.
“Bu-”
“They only pretended to be dating because she wanted you to back off.” Yunjin seethed.
Heeseung wasn’t sure how to process all of this information, let alone, he wasn’t even sure if he was.
“Yunjin-” you try to apologize, but she pushes past you with Yeonjun. You try to grab her hand, but she pulls away and turns to you.
“It went too far.” she says, trying to control her temper before turning around to walk away with Yeonjun.
You turn to look at Minjeong and Beomgyu, but they both just look at each other awkwardly. 
“We should probably go with them.” Beomgyu says.
Minjeong nods her head, agreeing, but before they both walk past you, she stops, “I’m sure if you try talking to her tomorrow, she’ll forgive you.”
You bite the inner part of your cheek as they walk away. The crowd starts to disperse, still earning a few questioning glances from those passing by. You glare at Heeseung and begin to walk away.
“Look, I didn’t-” he tries to explain, but you cut him off by turning around, now face-to-face with him.
Tears sting as they begin to brim your eyes. There are so many things you could say to him right now, so many things to yell, but for once you find yourself to be at a loss. He too, is also at a loss for words. Seeing you look at him this way, tears in your eyes, he feels so ashamed and embarrassed. 
“Just leave me alone.” you say through shallow breaths, trying your hardest not to cry in front of him.
You knew to him this was all some sick joke, so you doubt he would actually listen to you, but you hoped there was some small part of him that would finally see you never found any of this to be funny and that he has finally taken it too far.
-
You have never dreaded walking to your class this morning more than you do at this very moment; you just don’t have the energy to put up with Heeseung now or even ever again. You tried texting Yunjin, but she never replied let alone even opened the messages. You were so wrapped up in your emotions you didn’t even realize you made it to your class in peace. Relieved was an understatement about how you were currently feeling, but you also felt oddly sick. 
Although you didn’t want him bothering you, you couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the fact that he didn’t even try to apologize once while you were on your way to class. It was the least he could do, afterall. He pretty much destroyed your friendships with your closest friends and now that he’s had his fun, he no longer felt the need to keep up the act? The more you thought about it, the more angry you became. You knew you hated him before, but you’ve never been this furious with him, not even at his attempts to rub his wealth in your face by buying you things. No, this was a new low, even for him, but you keep trying to tell yourself you should’ve seen it coming.
-
“Oh hell no.” Yunjin mumbles before standing up from the steps she and the others were sitting on. Heeseung approaches cautiously as he feels their eyes burning into him with their intensive stares. “You really are a stalker, how did you even know what university I go to?” she asks, crossing her arms defensively. 
“It’s in our high school yearbooks, everyone put where they were going.” he replied. Yunjin scowls, hoping he would get the idea and leave once and for all. “I came to apologize. I just-” he pauses, looking away while clenching his jaw before looking back at them. “I’m sorry I punched you.” he says to Yeonjun. 
Yeonjun looks at him, unimpressed. 
“You suck at apologizing.” Yunjin states.
“I thought he was cheating! I didn’t know-” he groans, becoming frustrated. He tries to calm down, running his hand through his hair before speaking again. “All I want to say is that I really am sorry, I was just trying to look out for your friend, okay? She deserves better and when I saw who I thought was her boyfriend kissing someone else, I just…handled things poorly.”
Yeonjun gets up to stand next to Yunjin, draping his arm around her shoulders. “I get it, you didn’t know.”
Yunjin scoffs, “You’ve officially taken this joke of yours too far, so stop acting like you care about her and just admit it already.”
“Why does everyone think I’m joking?” he asks, both frustrated and genuinely.
“Everyone in school knew you were joking. I thought you took it too far back when you bought her a pair of some new, expensive shoes.”
Is that really how everyone saw it? Is that really how you see it?
“I bought her the shoes because she had her old ones for years and had bandaids for the blisters she was clearly getting. I also bought her extra bandages, did you forget about that?”
Yunjin stops scowling, “So you aren’t just messing with her because she rejected you?”
“Of course not, I really care about her. I know I annoy her, but I never thought she would think I was doing all of this just to hurt her feelings.”
Yunjin stands there for a second, questioning whether or not she believes him. 
“You’re right,” she starts, making eye contact with Heeseung, “she deserves the best.” It falls quiet again for a moment, mainly because Yunjin is wondering whether or not she wants to give him a chance to prove himself to you. “We’re going to meet at the club downtown around ten, if you really mean what you say, you should come.”
Heeseung stands there, stunned. Does this mean she believes him? Does this mean they all believe him? Does this mean you’ll believe him? As they walk away from the steps, they all look at him, but not the same way they did when he first came over; skeptical. They all looked at him like they wanted what he said to be true and tonight is the night he is going to prove it.
-
You walked into the club, anxious, yet grateful that Yunjin finally responded to one of your messages. You wanted tonight to be like any other night that you all hang out here, like everything was back to normal; like it was before the whole debacle with Heeseung at the mall. You made your way past the crowds of people through the darkly lit club, over to the booth you all usually sit at. 
“Hey.” you say, trying not to sound awkward.
Yunjin sheepishly smiles, “Hey.” she says.
“Are you guys going to kiss and make up now?” Beomgyu asks, honestly over all of the drama.
Everyone laughs and Minjeong hands you your usual drink as you all make your way to the dance floor. From there, you move your body to the music, just wanting to let go of all the stress you’ve been under lately. Dancing along with your friends, having a good time, is all you care about at this very moment. You were enjoying yourself, feeling confident in the outfit you chose to wear paired along with the light buzz from the alcohol you were drinking. You closed your eyes as you soaked it all in; it felt like nothing could disrupt this feeling.
“Wow…” you hear someone say before they trail off.
You open your eyes and freeze. You know this voice a little all-too-well. Your grip on the glass you are holding in your hand becomes tighter as you slowly turn towards the person who was speaking. Your eyes lock with Heeseungs as he looks at you in awe. You look stunning and he felt like all of the air from his lungs had escaped the second he saw you; breathless. You walk closer to him, so he wouldn’t get any crazy ideas and try to do something else to your friends, but as you got closer to him you couldn’t help but think about how nice he smells. You shake the thought from your head as you look up at him, your eyes meeting once again. 
All thoughts you previously had were now gone; he made your mind go blank. Have his eyes always been this pretty? No…what the hell are you thinking? Pull yourself together.
“Do you take nothing I say seriously?” you manage to blurt out.
He smiles, happy that you’re talking to him (and just because he’s happy to see you in general).
“For all the years you’ve known me, you should know better than anyone else that I can’t stay away from you.” he replies before smirking.
That smug attitude thankfully snapped you out of whatever weird thoughts you were having earlier and brought you back to reality: he’s a prick. You roll your eyes and push yourself past him as you head to the bar to return your glass. You set the glass down a little harsher than you anticipated and Heeseung follows you as you make your way out of the club. He calls after you, but you ignore him. Nothing is going to change, apparently. But as you’ve said to yourself before: you really shouldn’t be surprised.
Heeseung stops calling after you and instead catches up to you, grabbing your hand gently so you would stop walking away from him. You turn to face him, looking down at your hands for a split second, feeling a different kind of buzz result from it. You try to shake his hand away, but he doesn’t budge. You meet his eyes, feeling your heart begin to race. As much as you tried to stop, something was happening, and you were certainly not a huge fan. 
“I spoke with your friends earlier and apologized.”
He did what? Wait…have you been hallucinating this whole time? That would explain why you suddenly feel this way because you know, not in any lifetime, would you possibly have feelings for Lee Heeseung. 
“How?” is all you could manage to say. 
Your mind was running a thousand miles a minute, not really in any shape to hold any kind of conversation, but especially not one with Heeseung.
“I made a mistake. I have a lot of things I want to apologize to you for.”
He spoke so gently and sweetly; it was like he was hypnotizing you. The streets were oddly quiet, not too many people, but you could still hear the music from the club. You found yourself staring at him in amazement. The fluorescent lights from the signs of stores nearby and the streetlights felt as though they were shining on the both of you, like you two were the only people who matter.
“What?” is all you can think to say.
“I’m sorry I’ve been bothering you to the point where you felt like you had no other choice but to lie.” he says, taking a step closer to you. “I’m sorry I made you and your friend fight.” he takes another step closer to you. You felt your breath hitch as your eyes traveled along his figure. Has he always looked this good in a black button up and black pants? It doesn’t help that his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and you find yourself staring at his arms.
He waits for you. He waits for you while he clearly sees you checking him out and it’s turning him on. God, you look so beautiful and the way you are looking at him, slowly taking in everything about him as if you are seeing him for the first time makes him want to kiss you; it makes him want to do a lot more. When your eyes meet his again, he takes this as an opportunity to step closer to you, placing his other hand on your cheek, gently cupping your face. He wants to be gentle because you are one of the most precious things to him. He leans close to your face, each others’ breath scattering lightly along one anothers face. 
“And I’m sorry,” he whispers as he rubs his thumb back and forth on your cheek, still looking into your eyes, “for making you feel like a joke.”
You feel yourself tense up. “Was it? All a joke…” you trail off, not necessarily sure what you want to happen next.
He continues looking into your eyes, never looking away because he wants you to know that he is being serious; that he means every word he says.
“Not for a second.” he replies.
You think back to everything he has done for you in a new perspective. How he would leave your favorite snack on your desk on test days, notes telling you how well you did after a presentation, volunteering to be your partner because he didn’t want you to feel alone or left out, buying you your favorite drink if you forgot to bring money for it, and asking you out to a restaurant that holds a special meaning to him and he only wants to share it with you. 
You want to kiss him, but you find yourself pulling away instead. He looks at you, confused, as you separate yourself from him, letting go of his hand. 
“I should get home. You know how early my morning class is.” you say while looking at the ground.
“Are you walking home? This late?”
You step back a little bit, finally looking back at him and you smile nervously. “I usually take the bus, but I think I missed the last one, so yeah, I guess I am.” you say kind of bunched together. Are you nervous?
“I can just drive you home.” he says, not really offering, more like telling.
You shake your head as your eyes shift to one of the cars in front of the club. You recognized it as his since he drives it to school everyday. A small, small part of you would love to ride in it, but you can walk home yourself (even if you also know it’s a bad idea).
“Yeah, I’m not letting you walk home alone this late.” he says, no longer wondering why you pulled away from him, but more concerned for your safety. He reaches for your hand and you let him take it, even if you keep telling yourself you shouldn’t. You both walk over to his car and he opens the door for you to get in. You look at him and he looks back at you, not intending on budging from his offer. You roll your eyes playfully as you get into the car. He closes the door and walks over to get into the driver's seat. He gets in and closes the door before starting his engine. You sit there, a little surprised you were even in his car in the first place. “You kind of need to put on your seatbelt.” he says, nodding his head towards the seatbelt that you left untouched. 
You laugh nervously, but for some reason, you still don’t think to move to put it on. He sighs, smiling to himself at your cuteness, before leaning over to grab the seatbelt, slowly extending it over your body before clicking it into place. He looks at you, your faces inches apart, and you feel your breathing quicken once again. His heart begins to beat faster, but he can’t stop looking at you; you’re stunning. He manages to pull himself away, worried he might make you feel uncomfortable, before putting on his own seatbelt and putting the car in drive. 
“Do you want to tell me how to get to your house?” he asks as he pulls out of the parking spot.
Your eyes widen. Right, your house. A house that--you assume--is nowhere near as nice as his house. What if once he sees just how different you two are he will stop liking you? What if he was lying before and this was his final cruel attempt to make fun of you? You shake your head.
“I would rather not tell you.”
He steps on the brake, turning his head to look at you.
“You…don’t want to tell me?”
You shake your head, hoping he’ll give up and let you out of the car. You hear him let out a tut, making you turn your head to look at him.
“Would you rather I take you to my place?” he asks, trying not to sound nervous.
Not particularly, you kind of already planned on going to bed once you got back home, but you stayed quiet, leaving him to answer his own question. He sighs, releasing his foot off the brake.
-
Heeseung pulls up to a gate that guards a huge house behind it. Your mouth falls a little agape as you look at it, thinking about how the driveway is the size of your own home. He puts in the code, opening the gate, and driving up the huge driveway. He parks the car and turns off the engine, unbuckling his seatbelt before looking at you. 
“Do you need me to unbuckle it for you?” he asks while smirking.
You kind of want him to, but you opt for doing it yourself. You both get out of the car and he waits for you before he begins to lead the way. You can’t stop looking around as you two walk up the stairs leading to the (in your opinion) oversized doors, to which he opens and lets you walk in first. The house is even more luxurious on the inside than it is on the outside, which you honestly didn’t think could be possible. He shuts the door behind him and you both take off your shoes. You feel out of place, starting to feel insecure. The guy with all of this money to have this grand living room with a huge television, windows covering the walls and expensive furniture littered everywhere claims to like you? And has for years? You were starting to find it hard to believe again. 
“I hope this is okay.” he says, breaking the silence. 
You weren’t sure what he meant, but you assume he’s hoping it’s okay that he brought you here. He starts heading for the staircase and you follow behind, still taking in your surroundings. He leads you to his room, and you decide to stand by the doorframe. To you, it doesn’t seem like the downstairs even needs a living room since he already has a couch and t.v. in his room along with a big bed laying on a platform and more windows for walls. A beep is heard and the curtains for his windows start automatically covering them and the two lamps on his bedside tables turn on. He looks back at you, smiling at your expression that he finds to be adorable. 
“You can come in, you know.” he says as he rummages through some drawers.
You hesitantly walk into his room, somehow just noticing how nice it smells, and find the confidence to walk up the few steps to his bed to take a seat. You turn your head to look around some more and Heeseung looks up, stopping what he is doing upon seeing you on his bed. You are on his bed. Is he dreaming? He honestly never thought this day would come and he clears his throat to try and calm his nerves, making you look at him.
“What are you doing?” you finally ask.
He grabs what he came in for and walks over to you holding out the clothes he picked himself.
“The guest rooms don’t have any clothes in them, so you can borrow mine.”
Did he just say “rooms” as in plural, like multiple? 
“Right, naturally.” you tease.
He smiles and you stand to grab the clothes from him. You hold them as you look up at him, once again meeting his eyes. That feeling starts to form again, the one where you don’t want to stop looking at him and certainly don’t want him to stop looking at you.
“I forgive you.” you whisper.
He looks confused for a second before he understands what you mean. He smiles.
“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that.” 
You aren’t sure if it’s the atmosphere, the way he smells, the way he’s looking at you, or all three combined, but before you can even process what you are doing, you are tossing the clothes he handed you onto the floor and pulling him by the collar to kiss you.
Holy. Shit. You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him. One of your hands moves to hold the side of his neck while the other moves to the back of his hair as you start running your fingers through it, gripping it here and there. He moves his hands to hold your waist, squeezing them lightly from anticipation, as he kisses you back. He gains more confidence, pulling you as closely as possible to him, as he deepens the kiss. He is desperate for you, he is desperate to show you how he feels. He lifts you up and your legs wrap around his waist, him carefully carrying you and placing you onto his bed. He lays you down as you two continue to kiss, him pulling away from your lips and beginning to leave a trail of light, breathy, kisses from your jaw down to your collarbone. Your chest raises from the deep breath you take and he swears he is going to lose his mind from looking at you in your current state. The state he is currently leaving you in. 
His hands roam your body, wanting to feel every inch of you.
“Heeseung…” you say breathlessly, practically sending him over the edge.
He can feel his erection growing and you saying his name like that makes his cock ache harder. He pulls away from leaving hickeys along your chest, pulling you up by the waist so he can lift your dress off of you. He pulls it over your head and you help him, throwing the dress off to the side. He rests his forehead on yours, trying to calm his breathing and you begin to palm his erection. He whines, moving your hand away before laying you back down. His eyes scan your body, now realizing you were never wearing a bra. There you are, laying on his bed in nothing other than your underwear and he has to try and collect himself before he cums in his pants at just the mere sight of you. His right hand begins to travel up your leg, his fingers lightly running along your skin as he continues to look at you, look at every inch of you. His fingers travel past your hip up to your breasts where he cups one of them, earning a small gasp from you.
He bites the inner part of his cheek, trying to contain himself as he fondles your breast, playing with your nipple, watching how your face contorts in pleasure. He leans down to leave light kisses on your shoulder, looking at your face between each one, going down and stopping at your other breast before latching his mouth around your nipple. You bite your lip, one of your hands comes to grip his hair. He moans as he swirls his tongue around your nipple, occasionally flicking it. He felt drunk and so incredibly turned on. He stops fondling your other breast with his hand and lightly trails his fingers down to your underwear, sticking his hand inside. You gasp again, his fingers feeling a little cold as he runs them along your wet folds. 
Fuck he was making you feel good and you let out a moan, making him smirk. He sticks a finger in, making you grip his hair a little harder, and so he sticks in two. You moan again and he pulls away from your breast to kiss you as his fingers pump in and out of you. You’ve become so wet that you start to cover his hand in your wetness, the sound of his hand coming in constant contact with your pussy starting to fill the room. You feel yourself become close and your mouth falls agape. He stops kissing you and pulls back as well as pulling his fingers out of you. You open your eyes, the dim lights suddenly being so bright as you try to process what is happening.
He brings his fingers to his lips, licking off your arousal from them. His eyes close as he inhales deeply, consumed by the taste of you.
“Please, Heeseung…” you start to plead.
He opens his eyes and figures he can’t leave you without what you want. So, in honor of a fair trade since he feels intoxicated by your taste, he takes off your underwear and throws your legs over his shoulders as he positions his face in front of your pussy. You swallow harshly as you feel his breath on you before he licks a stripe along your core, causing your eyes to roll back a little bit and your back arch at the sudden contact. His hands grip the sides of your thighs as he indulges in you, licking up every last drop of you before making his way to your clit and sucking on it.
“Fuck, Heeseung…” you moan out breathlessly.
He’s too consumed by your taste to notice and he pulls you more into his face. He moans into you, one of his hands leaving your thigh as he starts to finger you again. He hears you moaning and gasping, prompting him to open his eyes and look at you. Just the sight of you causes him to pick up his pace, his fingers rapidly going in and out of you and the more you moan, the more turned on he gets. You feel yourself become closer, gripping the sheets as you call out his name. That mixed with the taste of you on his tongue makes him moan. You taste so good, you look so beautiful, he feels like the luckiest man alive to have you call out his name. He sucks harder and pumps faster as he moans into you, cumming in his pants. 
Your head falls deeper into the pillow you were laying on as you release yourself all over his fingers, mouth, and face. His movements begin to slow down as he calms down from his high and he pulls away, seeing your legs shaking a bit. He sits back, taking your legs off of his shoulders and you look at him. His face is flushed and shiny because of your cum, which he didn’t mind. He licked his fingers again, trying to catch his breath afterwards and you find the energy to sit up. 
You pull him in for a kiss and his hands land on your ass, squeezing it. You moan and reach your slightly shaky hands up to the buttons on his shirt, unbuttoning them. You pull away as you take the shirt off of him, throwing it to the side. This time, you leave a trail of kisses from his jaw to his neck, his mouth falling agape from pleasure. He was becoming hard again and so you started to undo his belt as well as the button and zipper on his pants. You can hear him let out shallow breaths, and he pulls you back to kiss him on the lips. You kiss each other with so much need, and as you start taking off his pants, he pulls away to take them off himself. 
You watch as he does, seeing his bulge through his underwear along with the cum stain from earlier. You smirk, which makes him feel a little shy.
“Come here.” you say, your eyes flicking back to meet his.
He listens, and you move each other so he is now the one laying back as you sit between his legs. He swallows harshly, completely turned on by the sight of your bare self looking at him in such a sinful way. Fuck, he wants you to ruin him. You keep eye contact with him as you lightly grab the edge of his boxers. His breath hitches as he becomes increasingly more nervous and he bites his lip as you run your pointer finger over his v-line. You smirk, slowly pulling his boxers off of him and finally letting his aching cock free. You cast aside his boxers, lightly running your fingers along his length, making him let out little moans, trying to decide what you want to do next. Seeing him like this, you decide you can’t wait any longer, so you position yourself over his cock, one hand holding onto his shoulder as the other guides it into your cunt. 
You both throw your heads back as you let out a moan in unison. You slowly sank onto his length and he watched in awe. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening and when you finally settled fully onto his cock, his mind felt fuzzy. You felt so fucking good and here you were, riding his dick with hickies all over your chest and neck made by him. Consumed by his thoughts, he gripped your hips a little bit harsher as he let out a stifled breath. You look at him, wondering what was happening, but feeling his cock twitch inside of you and him letting out a string of moans and apologies answered your question quickly as he came inside of you. 
His breathing settled after his release and he looks at you, eyes a little hazy, but full of pleasure; he looked so fucked out. 
“I’m so sorry.” he half whispers and half exclaims. 
He really meant it and to be honest, he was kind of embarrassed. You shake your head.
“Don’t be,” you say, starting to rock your hips, causing his eyes to roll back in pleasure, “it was hot.” You pick up your speed and call out his name from how good he is making you feel. “Shit…” you whine as you start to lose momentum from the pleasure. He notices and adjusts himself so he is laying a little bit lower to which he slings his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You let out a small yelp as he hoists his hips up, thrusting into you, fast and deep. “Fuck…” you call out into his ear, making him pick up his pace. 
Moans mixed with the sound of his cock rutting into you fills the room and you grip the sheets as you feel yourself clench around him.
“Fuck-” Heeseung starts, but is cut off by his own moans from being close to his climax.
He thrusts into you faster and you clench around him harsher, your legs shaking as you cum all over his dick. He grips your waist harsher and clenches his jaw, breathy moans still escaping through his teeth as he cums–once again–inside of you. He does a few more thrusts to ride out his high before pulling out of your throbbing cunt. You both lay there for a moment, you still on top of him, trying to catch your breath.
“So…” Heeseung starts. You lift your head slightly to look him in the eyes and he smiles sheepishly, “does this mean you’ll go on that date with me?” he asks, hopeful.
You roll your eyes, “God, you’re annoying.” you say before smiling.
2K notes · View notes
ironcroft11 · 11 months
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In defense of Gwen in Across the Spider-Verse
Okay. First of all: This post is gonna be super long and have tons of spoilers so if you don’t want to get spoiled for Across the Spider-Verse then don’t read this post. I have seen way too many people hate on Gwen because of her actions and her behavior towards Miles in Across the Spider-Verse. I’ll show you why that hate completely misses her arc in the movie and her true intentions/relationship with Miles. This post will also delve into Gwiles/Ghostflower since that is a big part of what shapes her intentions.  Many people say Gwen betrayed Miles and doesn’t really care about him. They say Miles shouldn’t forgive her and that she is a snake for what she did. I’ll show you why the opposite is true by going through the events of the movie in cronological order: The movie literally starts off with Gwen talking about Miles. She is drumming away, which is, mentioned by herself, a way for her to cope with her feelings. That opening from Gwen is a small glimpse into her head. We see how she feels and what she thinks. The interesting thing is that it’s basically Gwen broadly narrating the events of the entire movie. We even see glimpses of future scenes in that intro. The line of narration that is most important here is Gwen saying “I didn’t want to hurt him. But I did. And he is not the only one.” This shows us IMMEDIATELY that Gwen did not intend to hurt Miles AT ALL. Quite the contrary. It also shows that she is AWARE she hurt Miles. She knows she fucked up. That is going to be important later on when she needs to make the tough decision regarding Miles/The Spider Society. 
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We then follow her as she goes home, still thinking about Miles and then, of course, her Peter. Note that this is roughly 1 year after Into the Spider-Verse. 1 year after she met Miles she still thinks about him daily. “I haven’t really made any friends after that [Peter’s death], except one. But there is no way to get there.” She misses Miles and wishes there was a way to visit him. Obviously she still very much cares and thinks about him.
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At Gwen’s home we are first shown what her conflict with her father looks like. That conflict is obviously one of the main aspects of her arc and what drives her actions later on in the movie. You can see it is strained but you can still see that they obviously love each other very much. Gwen struggles as her father is basically hunting her down without knowing its is actually her. What pains her the most, though, is that her father is convinced that Spider-Gwen killed her best friend, Peter Parker. That way he, without knowing, makes Gwen feel guilty about the death of her best friend. Gwen is trying to get over Peter’s death but is held back by her dad, unbeknownst to him. 
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Gwen caring and missing Miles a lot is brought up again when she sees the picture of her and Miles that they made in Into the Spider-Verse (which she had made into a polaroid so she can actually have it on her/in her hands). Her eyes look on with sadness and her color is dark blue. The colors in Gwen’s dimension are used to portray her feelings. Dark/blue tones for sadness and light/pink tones for happiness/comfort. At this point, seeing Miles again is probably one of her dearest wishes. Miles understands her and knows who she truly is. This is going to be important later on.
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During Gwens fight with Vulture at the Museum we are introduced to Miguel O’hera, Spider-Man 2099, who saves her from Vulture. He introduces himself but Gwen seems unimpressed and uninterested. What she is very much interested in, though, is Miguel’s Dimension Watch. “You can go to any dimension you want with that watch?” She just met an entirely new Spider-Man and all she is interested in is his technology that might allow her to go and visit Miles. That is how much she misses him.
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As the duo fight off Vulture Miguel calls for back-up and they are joined by Spider-Woman Jessica Drew. Her and Gwen have an immediate bond which will be very important later on. Gwen immediately looks up to her and sees her as a mentor from who she can learn a lot. Gwen impresses Jessica so much that she asks Miguel if they want to recruit her for Miguel’s Spider-Society. “What about her?” “No.” “Why not?” “You know why.” Miguel and Jessica studied the entire Kingpin collider event. They know who was involved and they know that Gwen and Miles are friends. Miguel doesn’t want to recruit Gwen because she is too close to Miles. Why that is a problem we all know. (Miles being the original anomoly) From the start they knew Gwen’s relationship with Miles might end up jeopardizing their goal of protecting the Spider-Verse.
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We then go on to this scene. Gwen confronting her father and her father finding out that Spider-Woman, the vigilante he was dedicated to catching and locking up, is actually his daughter. This is a key moment in Gwen’s arc throughout the movie. Her father accuses her of lying to him. All Gwen wants right now is support from her father. She doesn’t get that, instead her father wants to lock her up for the murder of her Peter Parker. At this point she is immensely conflicted. “I don’t know how to fix this.” Jessica Drew notices that and convinces Miguel to let Gwen join the Spider-Society. 
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Gwen seeing no immediate solution to her problem decides to accept the invite. She is not yet ready to confront the problem and walks away from it, despite being conflicted. This will be at the back of her head throughout her entire arc and throughout the entire movie. Until she is ready to confront her dad who, remember, wants to lock her up, she CAN’T return to her home dimension. Her going back would mean her having to confront a problem she is not yet ready to confront. 
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The next time we see Gwen is after we are introduced to Miles again. This is Gwen seeing Miles again for the first time after 1 year and 4 months. Her immediate reaction is to tightly hug him. You can, in that hug alone, see how much she missed him. You can also pick up all kind of little things in this scene. One is how awkward Gwen is. She is cringing at herself for telling him he had a growth spurt. There are obviously some unresolved feelings between the two.
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Gwen then goes through his sketchbook and finds Miles’ drawings of her. She is surprised to see so many drawings of her but plays it off smoothly. “Missed you too.” It’s obvious that both missed each other immensely. But we haven’t even seen the entire extend of how MUCH Gwen ACTUALLY missed Miles. We only find out about that a bit later.
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Miles and Gwen then swing through the city and catch up. Their chemistry is on full display here. I absolutely adore this scene. Gwen tells Miles that the Spider-Society is really strict about where she goes otherwise she would have come to visit him sooner. What’s important here is that at this point Gwen KNOWS about Miles’ “condition”. She knows he is an anomoly and she knows that his father dying is a canon event. And at this time she BELIEVES in these canon events. She thinks they must be upheld or the multiverse collapses. That’s what Miguel told her. 
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During their swing Gwen uses a moment in which Miles is distracted to place her surveillance device for Spot. You can see, even with her mask, how much it pains her to keep the truth from Miles nd having to leave him in the dark. We find out: Gwen is not here because of Miles but because she is supposed to catch Spot since Spot is an anomoly. 
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What follows is one of the biggest Gwiles moments in the movie and also a very important scene when it comes to Gwen and her feelings towards Miles. They sit down at the Williamsburgh Bank Building and have a heart to heart. 
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Gwen tells Miles that it is always so great to talk to him and that he is the only friend she ever really made since Peter died. Miles, knowing about Hobie, says “Other than Hobie, right?” and Gwen answers “That’s different.” This shows us that Gwen’s relationship and feelings for Miles are different from the relationship she has with Hobie. That’s because she literally has feelings for Miles, and she knows that Miles, in some way at least, feels the same. “We’re the same, in the important ways.” Gwen then says a line that literally shows she has fallen for Miles, otherwise there would be no need for her to mention it. “In every other universe Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man.” This is Gwen telling Miles that she has feelings for him. 
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Hearing that reassures Miles and he moves his hand closer to hers. 
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This is important: Gwen sees this! 
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And then closes her eyes and flinches. She flinches because she wants to take his hand so bad that it literally pains her that she can’t. We find out why she can’t with her next words: “And in every other universe it doesn’t end well.” Gwen knows about canon events and knows they need to happen. She was probably being told that Gwen Stacy falling for Spider-Man and it not ending will is a canon event. 
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She then gives Miles a look that I can only describe as “loving”. She would probably love to tell him more about canon events and everything regarding the Spider-Society. But like she said: She doesn’t know how to. She doesn’t want to hurt him and she wants to protect him.
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Miles then tells her “There’s a first time for everything, right?” which makes Gwen chuckle and smile at him. It’s the first time where Gwen is confronted with Miles’ philosophy of going down his own patch and not bending to the rules of canon. Even if canon dictates something, Miles believes there is always a way. 
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This rubs off on Gwen as she affectionately leans on Miles, enjoying the sunset with him.  Not only is this overall scene incredibly beautiful and masterfully animated but its purpose is to show us that these two indeed love each other. They want to be together but Gwen, at this stage, feels like canon is against them.
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Miles and Gwen then enjoy some food in quiet and keep talking about the Spider-Society and how Miles wants to be a part of it. Gwen, without being able to tell him the truth, shuts him down and lies to him. Again, she is not ready to tell him everything, the same way she is not ready to confront her father. These 2 conflicts go hand in hand as they are her 2 biggest conflicts that she has to overcome. Gwen then snaps at Miles because he was about to find the surveillance footage of Spot which would therefore uncover her true reason for being there. Gwen obviously doesn’t want that to happen because she doesn’t want to hurt Miles. She wants to keep him away from the Spider-Society because she knows he is an anomoly AND because she knows he wouldn’t be safe there.
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After she snaps at him she immediately apologizes though. They both get REALLY close after that, closer than I had remembered from my first viewing. They also lock eyes. I’m pretty sure if not for Rio, Miles and Gwen would have kissed here. Rio interrupts them and they have an awkward talk. Rio and Jeff obviously think there is something going on between Miles and Gwen which is the source of the awkwardness. 
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Gwen then gets a signal from her dimension watch which is caused by the explosion that Spot caused. She missed her time window to catch him because she was having so much fun being around Miles. Gwen quickly leaves after that, having to lie to both Miles and his parents. 
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You can tell she doesn’t want to leave Miles. She wants to stay, but she can’t. She is conflicted. And she is conflicted throughout the entire movie. That makes her arc so interesting. 
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What follows is one of the most important interactions in the movie that show Gwen’s motives. She arrives at the explosion and realizes Spot escaped. Jessica Drew, who Gwen looks up to, remember, calls her and asks her where Spot is. Gwen tries to play the whole situation down, not wanting to be seen as a failure. That has one big reason: Since Gwen is a liability to the Spider-Society because of her connection to Miles she has to constantly prove her worth, otherwise Miguel will send her back to her universe. That is one of Gwens biggest fears. Having to confront her father again. She is not yet ready for that so she basically does everything that is asked of her, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with it.  Jessica notices that Gwen is nervous and asks her if she visited Miles. Gwen again tries to play it down but eventually admits she went to see Miles. Jessica gets angry with her and Gwen tells her she will never see Miles again. Her voice noticeably breaks when she says that. That interaction tells us one very important point: Gwen was not allowed to visit Miles. AT ALL. Miguel has forbidden Gwen to see Miles. He probably also told her why. Miles is an anomoly and him getting entangled with the Spider-Society might end up badly. And Gwen, knowing all that, knowing she might risk the multiverse, knowing she might risk getting sent back to her own dimension and having to confront her father, STILL decided to visit Miles. That is how much she cares about Miles. She literally risked the stabilty of the multiverse for the opportunity to see Miles again. Even if its only for one evening. This alone should end the debate about how Gwen “doesn’t care about Miles”. She obviously does. A lot. 
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This can be taken even further.  “You never made a mistake? Never got too close to someone?” This is literally Gwen telling Jessica that the reason she went to see Miles is because she has feelings for him. Jess replies by saying she did but that she got over it, prompting Gwen to do the same. We, of course, know that she can’t. 
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This is one of the most emotional scenes in the movie for me. After Gwens dialogue with Jess she knows her only chance to stay on Miguels good side is to follow Spot to Mumbattan and catch him. She has to leave and knows she will never see Miles again. She longingly looks towards the rooftop she and Miles stood on just moments ago, not knowing Miles is invisible and right in front of her.  She whispers a last “Goodbye Miles” as she heartbreakingly decides to leave. As much as it pains Gwen, she thinks leaving now without explaining anything to Miles might hurt him, but it does keep him safe and away from the Spider-Society. It’s a lose lose situation for Gwen. She is fighting a losing battle. On one side she has Miles and the desire to be with him, on the other side the entire Spider-Verse and the conflict with her father. The fact she is even contemplating shows how loyal she is towards Miles.
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Miles follows her through the portal and catches her off guard. Gwen didn’t know he was listening and thought she would never see him again. Miles, being in another universe without a dimension watch, glitches and endangers both him and Gwen. Gwen then says that she “never should have visited” Miles.  She obviously meant the fact that NOW Miles is involved and they can’t go back now. She didn’t want Miles to be a part of it and now regrets that she pulled him into this. She is more angry at herself than at Miles here. 
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When the canon event approaches Gwen tries to stop Miles from disrupting it. Again, a lose lose situation for Gwen. She knows (or at least thinks at this point) that disrupting canon events can cause universe to unravel. She also knows how dangerous canon events are and that there is a good chance Miles might die if he tries to intervene. 
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Miles, not knowing about canon events at all yet, intervenes anyway. (Because he is Spider-Man, duh) While trying to save Captain Singh and the little girl he gets covered by rubble. Gwen and Hobie go down to the scene and while Hobie immediately helps Pav to pull up the bus Gwen literally makes a dash for the rubble and tries to find Miles. All the while screaming his name, her voice breaking while doing so. The relief in her voice when she finds him alive and well is very noticeable. (Great voice acting by Hailee Steinfeld)
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After disrupting the canon event, Miles asks Gwen what she thinks of the situation. Gwen, almost affectionately whispering to him, tells him that she always thinks that he is amazing. Another moment that makes these two get closer and it shows how much admiration Gwen has for Miles. Even after disrupting a canon event, Gwen thinks the world of Miles. This highlights her conflict again. While still believing in these canon events, Miles is slowly but surely changing her mind about them. He is not quite there yet but it’s coming.
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We then go the Spider-Society HQ where Gwen introduces Miles to Miguel. Miguel immediately becomes hostile and blames Miles for disrupting the canon event. Gwen knows that Miles did in fact disrupt the canon event but still defends him.  “He doesn’t know any better:” Miles has no knowledge about canon events or anything related to it so he can’t be blamed for what he did. Gwen knows that, which is also a reason why she tried to stop him. 
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Miles then finds out about the structure of the Spider-Verse and about canon events. Miles also finds out that Gwen did not only try to save him but also stop him from disrupting the canon event. 
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When Miles finds out his fathers death is a canon event that has to occur you can see Gwen frowning. She knew this and now Miles knows it.  There is no easy way to tell that to someone. Not if you’re close friends and not if you haven’t seen each other for a year. It pains Gwen that Miles has to go through that, and on top of that she can relate to it as well, because...
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... Gwen’s father is also a Captain who’s death is a canon event. This adds another layer to her inner conflict. She believes in these canon events and therefore also believes that her father has to die. Gwen, in that aspect, is similar to Miguel. She accepts it, runs away from it. Similar to how she runs away from the conflict with her father. 
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Miles confronts the other Spider’s and tells them he can’t sit back and let his father die. He then tells Gwen, referencing her earlier statement, that she was right and that she never should have visited her. Miles does NOT say that because he hates Gwen. He says that because he is distraught and because of the fact that if Gwen hadn’t shown up he’d still be in his dimension. (Where he wants to be to protect his father) Gwen starts to cry because this is OBVIOUSLY not how she wanted it to go and how she wanted Miles to find out.  The fact is: There was never a right time or way to explain it to Miles. Gwen isn’t an emotionless puppet that never struggles or is perfect. She loves Miles and she simply couldn’t bring it over her heart to tell him that his father will die and that he isn’t supposed to be Spider-Man. She wants him to be happy and to be safe, and from her perspective the best way to do that is to keep him away from the Spider-Society. 
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When Miguel traps Miles to stop him from going home Gwen and Peter get really agitated.  “That’s enough.” “Stop it Miguel.” They don’t want to be on opposite sides to Miles. They want to talk it out. Of course the chance for that is now gone. You can still see that both still very much are on “Miles’ side”. Gwen is put into a situation where she is forced to choose between her friend or the Spider-Society. 
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While they chase Miles, Jess confronts Gwen and tells her that even though Miles is Gwen’s friend, capturing him is the only way.  Gwen then tells Jess that that’s not what her gut says. This, again, shows her conflict. She KNOWS she is supposed to be on Miles’ side. It’s what her gut is saying. It’s what her heart is saying. Her head is still thinking that the multiverse must be protected, and that canon events must be stopped from being disrupted.
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She then listens to her head and tries to grab Miles with her web. The look on her face says it all. It’s pain, love and an apology all in one. Miles destroys the web, symbolic for their trust.  Miles breaks the net, he is saying that he doesn’t trust Gwen anymore.  Gwen knows that, which is why after Miles breaks the net her look is one of complete sadness and disbelief. Not disbelief because she couldn’t imagine Miles not trusting her but rather diesbelief because she can’t believe it has come this far.
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She continues the chase for Miles because she doesn’t know what else to do. When Miguel calls for every Spider-Man after they found out Miles’ location you can see Gwen having a look of dread and defeat on her face. She did’t want it to go this far. She still wants to talk it out and make up with him. She feels sorry and is slowly starting to regret her choices. 
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While on the train Gwen and Peter keep calling out to Miguel, telling him that he should stop and to take it easy on Miles. Miguel doesn’t listen.
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This scene is where the trust between Miles and Gwen is broken completely. Miles finds out that Gwen knew all along that he is an anomoly and that his father is supposed to die. He finds out that Gwen didn’t know how to tell him that and that that’s one of the reasons she didn’t come to visit him. 
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Gwen then tells Miles that its for his own good, a lie she told herself to make her feel better. She full on regrets her choices by now. She knows she made a mistake but feels too distraught to really do anything about it. Her world slowly comes crashing down on her.
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Miles is able to overpower Miguel and sends him flying down the train. The way Gwen looks down at Miguel is really interesting. Its a look of pride and relief. She is proud of how far Miles has come that he is able to escape from Miguel and reliefed that he was actually able to.
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While Gwen thinks that now the way is free for her and Peter to get to Miles and explain everything to him, Miles just gives them a look of hurt, sadness and betrayal. He then says “Goodbye Gwen”, again mirroring Gwen’s goodbye earlier in the movie. Both were sad but for very different reasons.
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The change of expression from Gwen says it all.  This goodbye from Miles, in his eyes, is final. He feels betrayed and hurt and just wants to get home to save his dad. While Gwen and Peter probably want to just talk to Miles and explain everything, Miles may think they want to capture him, too. And Miles can’t take that chance.
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After Miles decides to jump Gwen, again, has an expression of relief on her face. This time the relief is because Miles managed to really escape Miguel and the other Spiders. She knows Miles will be safe, for now.
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Miles manages to escape and Gwen is furious with Miguel. Furious as to how he treated Miles and how he managed the whole ordeal. 
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She speaks up and Miguel blames Gwen for the Spider-Society losing Miles.  This is where Gwen starts to see that she actually doesn’t have the Spider-Societies back and that she should have taken Miles’ side from the beginning. She slowly realizes the true extent of her mistake. 
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Gwen then proposes to talk it out with Miles, on her own. Miguel refuses, saying they tried that already.
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She goes on to tell that Miles is her friend and is starting to question the whole “Canon event” topic. “Do you know for certain what happens when he breaks the Canon?” She is starting to fully side with Miles. 
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Miguel tells her he knew from the beginning that her relationship with Miles was a liability. Gwen looks to Jess for support but doesn’t get it. She is now on her own, same as Miles. 
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Gwen gets sent to her home universe, the thing she dreaded most. The last thing she tells Miguel is that they are supposed to be the good guys. That shows where she stands in regards to the conflict inside herself. She now knows that what Miguel and the Society does is wrong.  She was on the Society’s side, now she is on Miles’ side. 
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She immediately tries to go to Miles’ dimension but she is locked out from using the dimension watch. Miguel denied her access. Gwen is furious and now trapped in her home dimension. 
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She returns home and wants to collect the polaroid of her and Miles. She doesn’t want to confront her father yet, but we all knew it was inevitably coming.
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Gwen confronts her dad and opens up to him. She pours her heart out and tells him how she really feels.  Remember, Gwen is a 16 year old girl. She carried the burden of her rensponsibility and the conflict inside her while still always trying to do the right thing.  But she says it best in this scene, “She doesn’t know what right or wrong is anymore.” The entire time she believed these canon events to be absolute and followed through with the Spider-Society’s plans because she thought it was the right thing to do.  In the process she hurt and betrayed the only real friend she had. And that was the straw that broke the camels back. Her intentions are now clear.
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“I can’t lose one more friend.” She doesn’t know whats right or whats wrong, all she knows is that she can’t lose Miles. 
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During her speech her father decides to quit his job as captain, freeing him from the canon event. This is when Gewn realizes that canon events might not be absolute and that they can be disrupted without dooming the dimension. She realizes Miles might have been doing the right thing all along. 
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After making up with her dad the only thing left to do for Gwen is to go and find Miles. With the help of Hobie’s watch that is actually possible now.
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Gwen arrives in Miles’ universe and finds out that Miles is in the wrong universe. She overhears Rio and Jeff talk about Miles. They mention Miles lighting up when he is around Gwen and that they hope she doesn’t get him hurt. This is where the full realization of her actions become clear to Gwen. She hurt Miles and didn’t help him when he needed her the most, and she hates herself for that.
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She blames herself for what happened to Miles, even though it is not her fault entirely. 
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Gwen tells Rio and Jeff that she is going to find Miles and bring him back. She also tells them what she learned from Miles. “All is possible.” This is the lesson Miles gives Gwen in this movie. It is a lesson she needed to learn. She now fully believes that anything is possible. This will come into play in Beyond the Spider-Verse when they are going to try and stop canon events from happening. 
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She resolves the conflict with her father, parts ways with the Spider-Society and has only one goal left now: To find and make up with Miles. In her arc Gwen faced the conflict of choosing her friend or the greater good. On one hand is Miles, who she obviously has feelings for. On the other hand there is the Spider-Society who tell her how the multiverse works and how dangerous Miles and other anomolies are. In the end, her friend won, though it was a harsh process that damaged their trust and relationship.  Gwen is not perfect and isn’t always right. She is a 16 year old girl with tons of complex conflicts going on. She fights a constant battle with herself and her feelings. She makes mistakes, as do Miles, Peter, Miguel and the others. The important thing is that Gwen learns from these mistakes.  This also shows that she doesn’t hate or not care about Miles like some people have said. If anything her actions show to which lengths she went for Miles to be safe.  She knows she hurt Miles and is going to make up for it in Beyond the Spider-Verse. 
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l8dyvenus · 11 months
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astrology observations. #5
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+ Moon in 4th tend to look for partners that remind them of their mothers. If placed in a man’s chart, I typically see this as them going for older women. 👩‍👦
regardless, If you want to bag a cancer placement man, nurture him or act like his mother. It will literally do the trick🙃trust me, I know, it’s literally how I bagged my boyfriend. but be careful, they most definitely have breeding kicks especially mixed w Virgo.
and if they are ethnic, learn more about the culture or ask about it. take trips to their homeland too! or just simply do your own research to impress them.
+ it’s true, Libra suns run from conflict or ignore it. and if mixed with Water placements in a chart, they tend to lie to try to keep the peace. sometimes it does backfire on them.
+ Leo moons, did your mom always try to humble you?
+ Cancers and Taurus’s go so well together 🥹
+ I noticed that people who’s planet(s) fall into my 8th house tend to give/buy me things everytime I see them. I literally don’t even have to ask. they give me more compliments and find me pretty than people who’s planets fall into my 1st. 🤣
As a 8th house Stellium, I loveeeee people who fall into my 8th house, never had an bad encounter we just always clicked🫶🏾.
+ read a post that said Mars in 4th H takes on which ever parent shows that aggressive impatience nature and whewww, they didn’t have to read me like that 🤭.
+ a Scorpio moon once told me, “if they are not obsessed with me, I just don’t think they like me fr” LMFAOOO
+ All Scorpio moons aren’t as bad as portrayed to be, it really just depends on their relationship with their mother. I see this placement as like having a Cancer/4th house moon. even though Scorpio is at fault in this position, it shows greatly that the mother has a MAJOR influence and role on how they act, respond, their mindset, and characteristics. and all Scorpio moons and their relationship with their mothers are not bad either. but they could be over smothering. either a light helicopter parent, or a over the extent helicopter parent. I noticed that it depends on how well the moon is aspected. when the moon is negatively aspected, the moon person typically takes on the toxic characteristics and personality of their mothers which makes them destructive and “bad” as the stereotype. when not negatively aspecting, they are much more self/socially aware and conscious. not saying that negative aspected moons can’t be more self evolved, but they tend to have the shorter end of the stick. they just have take that journey to get there.
I met a Scorpio moon where his moon was well aspected with trines and sextiles to harmonious planets. His mother wasn’t abusive, narcissistic or any of that sort. Scorpio moon people typically were born at a time where it was very inconvenient traumatic time for the parents, especially the mother. This showed up in his chart as his mother being over protective and overly affectionate. Not necessarily an over the extent “helicopter” parent, but he would tell me she calls him everyday, sends him bible scriptures, tried to put him in the best schools, best positions in life to be better or have better than she had. Although majority of the choices she made for him, is not what he wanted, he knows that it’s from the good intentions of her heart. Pluto = evolution, death/rebirth, betterment, etc, so her actions showed up as wanting to protect him in her own traumatic way but also wanting him to evolve into something better.
+ Justice from the movie Poetic Justice definitely had Venus in the 8th H 💌
side note - I feel like erykah badu does too. I saw a post saying that every man she dealt with when they met her weren’t self evolve, then after their relationship they were all into the occult and dressed bohemian lmfaooo. like literally, search up erykah badu and the guys she dated, how they look then and now.
+ Neptune in the 4th, is it just me or is it hard to get anything done in your house without feeling tired? I have a lot of energy outside of my home, but when I get to my moms place I feel lazy and especially depressive. It’s hard for me to do anything. I didn’t realize that until I recently left for college then came back for visits, and then permanently stayed. Lmk 👄?
+ a Uranus dom or heavily placed in a males chart most definitely likes to paint his own nails. I don’t know if he is or not, but search up Dennis Rodman. He gives me Uranus Dom Vibes.
+ on the topic of Uranus, Aquarius, Leo, & Virgo placements in 8th degree are very experimental, but they can be deep into things like the dark web, bdsm, smut, abusive sex, etc. like really dark sexual shit.
+ Capricorn placements and the dying urge to crack the hell out of every bone in their body just for fun >> 😼
+ Aquarius moons tend to run to their friends for every thing, especially when it comes to family matters. friends could be an outlet for venting. But I noticed they tend to have a weird relationship with them. One minute they can have a lot of close friends and the next, those same close friends aren’t very close anymore.
+ water placements (especially moons) pay attention to how you feel around ppl. that is your biggest gift.
Anyways, CIAO! 😽
MASTERLIST
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heliza24 · 2 months
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I want to talk a little bit about Daniel in the Interview with the Vampire show, because the new trailer material has me stuck thinking about him, and also I’ve never written about how meaningful he is as disabled character to me before.
I don’t see many people thinking about show!Daniel in these terms, but he’s a canon disabled character. And I think the way he is written is just SO good. The acerbic wit, his relationship to doctors and his medication, his rueful acceptance of the way his disability has changed him. It is all so correct!! It’s really incredibly rare to have not only a disabled character written this well but specifically a chronically ill character written this well. His illness is always present; it doesn’t get forgotten about by the story. It gives Daniel insight into the vampires (more on this in a min), but it also gives Louis and Armand leverage over him. When Louis triggers his Parkinson’s symptoms? Deeply not ok. But that’s what made it such a great scene, and really made Louis feel dangerous and threateningin that moment. Armand and Louis arranging Daniel’s meds is a sign of great care and also great power over Daniel. It’s the perfect way to communicate the complicated power dynamic in their relationship.
I also just fucking love that this show takes place in 2022 and doesn’t erase the pandemic. Covid is a very present concern for Daniel and I cannot describe how validating that is for me as someone who is clinically vulnerable to Covid and who has had to really limit my life and take a lot of precautions because everyone else has decided to stop caring whether they pass on Covid or not. The fact that Daniel gets on a plane to Dubai is a BIG DEAL. He’s risking his life to talk to Louis and Armand before he’s even in the room with them. He really wants to be there. I have to make a similar calculation every time I travel, and trust me, getting on that plane knowing getting sick could spiral you into even worse health or kill you is really hard.
I think making Daniel disabled and including the pandemic is kind of a genius level decision on a thematic level. Of course Daniel is now facing down his mortality, which gives him a whole new lens on the vampires and the fact that he once asked them to turn him. And the pandemic further highlights his fragility, and is also possibly being used as a cover for drama that’s happening in the vampire world. But I think it also really sets Daniel up as a foil to Louis.
There’s a lot of analysis of the vampire chronicles that reads vampirism as a metaphor for queerness. But I would actually propose that it’s a much neater parallel for disability and illness in a lot of ways. So many of Louis’s initial experiences after being turned resonated with me, as someone who became chronically ill in my 20s. My appetite and relationship to food completely changed, much like Louis. My relationship with the outdoors and the sun changed, because of dysautonomia and allergy reasons. I was very mad, and very depressed, and I too have missed out on birthday parties and big life events like Louis did because I was too sick to go. Hell, you can even say that the way that Louis is treated as evil by his family, that the way vampires literally can’t be a part of society during the day, is reminiscent of ableist exclusion and ugly laws. (Ugly laws were laws that forbid disabled people, especially those with visible differences, from being out in public, and they were on the books in many American municipalities until the 1970s.) You can look at Lestat being an out and proud vampire in the first few episodes on the season and imploring Louis to leave his shame behind as a queer thing, but you can also view it as a disabled thing. Disabled people are portrayed as monstrous so often (and in a way that has gone relatively unexamined compared to say, the queer coded villain trope) that sometimes it’s just easier to embrace that label: I’m the monstrous Crip, but at least I’m not ashamed of or disgusted by who I am anymore.
I do think the real strength of this adaptation is that while you can find parallels between queerness or disability or other forms of marginalization with vampirism, ultimately it’s not a one-to-one parallel. It speaks to the real world but ultimately it is a gothic horror story about supernatural monsters. So I don’t mean to say that vampirism directly equals disability, because it does not. But I do think that making Daniel disabled was an intentional choice to help draw out some of those parallels, and I think the text is richer for it.
So Louis and Daniel have had these kind of parallel experiences of uncontrollable and difficult things happening to their bodies. It sets them up perfectly as foils, and even, I would argue, as the A plot and B Plot protagonists. This is one of my favorite ways of kind of examining the structure of a TV show (or maybe it’s that most of my favorite shows seem to be structured this way?). When TV was all episodic, it would be common to refer to the A plot (mystery of the week), B plot (interpersonal drama happening as the mystery gets solved) and C plot (any overarching plot tying the season together) in an episode. Now that stuff is serialized, there’s often a main protagonist, who has the main dramatic question and the most agency, and then there is often a secondary B plot that explores similar themes and mirrors the A plot, or presents a second main character who is the ldifferent side of the same coin” to the main protagonist. (My favorite example of this is Flint and Max in Black Sails, and I’ve also made the argument that Wilhelm and Sara fit this pattern in Young Royals.) In IwtV, Louis is obviously the main protagonist of the show, especially in the A Plot, which is the stuff taking place in New Orleans/Paris. But I would argue that Daniel is the protagonist of the B Plot set in Dubai. At the very least they’re intentionally set up as mirrors of each other:
They are both unreliable narrators, who are struggling with the way memory contorts (through memory erasure, illness, deliberate obfuscations, and just the passage of time). The most recent teaser trailer, where we hear Louis saying “I don’t remember that”, with panic in his voice, further underlined this similarity between Louis and Daniel to me. I don’t know if it means that Louis has also had his memory tampered with, as I’m assuming Daniel has, but I do think it means that Louis is going to be struggling with feeling out of control of his own narrative more in season 2, a thing that was already starting for Daniel in season 1.
They are also both locked into power struggles with people more powerful than they are. The fact that Louis is under Lestat in the flashbacks and above Daniel in the Dubai scenes in terms of power/status makes it all the more interesting. And, if we want to go ahead and assume that the Devils Minion’s years have happened in the past by the time we get to Dubai— it’s possible that both Daniel and Louis are united in being the less powerful partner in their own respective fucked up gothic romances.
They’re also both the audience’s entry point into their respective stories. Louis’s narration guides us into the world of vampires. Daniel’s questioning satisfies our human curiosity in Dubai.
I think one of the things that makes the show so special is the way that these two protagonists interact. In a lot of shows the a plot and the b plot stay pretty separate. I love talking about Black Sails for this because I think it’s such a good example; Flint and Max never exchange dialogue the entire show, even though they’re so clearly affecting each other the whole time. But the way that Louis and Daniel clash in Dubai is so exciting. We see them both wrestling for control of the narrative. It’s thrilling to watch and it just hammers home the theme of how complicated and changeable stories can be.
I am SO excited to see how the Dubai scenes play out in season 2 because of it. I really can’t wait. I’m really hoping we’ll see Daniel and Louis’s relationship evolve in surprising ways, and I’m holding my breath that we’ll get a lot of Armandaniel material to work with. (I have a whole other post drafted that’s much less smart than this one and is just me waxing poetic about Devil Minion’s theories which I may post at some point. You have been warned.)
I do have two wishes for Daniel in the new season, and they’re 1: that he gets to have romance/sex, because disabled (and older!) characters are so often seen as unworthy of being desired, and I would like to see that challenged and 2: that he continues to refuse to be turned/is not offered a vampiric cure for Parkinson’s. The magic cure for a disability or chronic illness is probably my least favorite disability trope, because it serves to erase disabled characters and representation from the narrative, and I want to see my experiences continue to be reflected in Daniel’s. That means that whatever ending Daniel’s story has will probably have at least a bit of tragedy baked into it, but I’m ok with that.
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petersasteria · 5 months
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You're Losing Me - T.C.
Pairing: Timothée Chalamet x fem!Reader Warning/s: angsty Words: 4,155 Note: I was inspired to write my first ever timmy fic bc of @meetmyothersouls! <3
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Flashing lights of the cameras and photographers calling out your name echoed the red carpet as soon as you stepped out of the limousine. You smiled brightly, excited to be attending your first red carpet event. You’re an actress that was given her big break last year and now you’re at the premier of your first ever movie starring Tom Holland and yourself. It was fun working with Tom Holland and you’ve grown closer as filming progressed. You can finally say that he’s now one of your best friends along with his girlfriend, Zendaya.
The whole time at the movie premier itself was a blur. You treasured your first ever movie, but you were way more excited for the after party. You couldn’t wait to meet new people and make new friends while you party all night.
You quickly got changed after the premiere and went straight to the after party venue. There, you saw him. Timothée Chalamet. You’ve obviously never met him before, but you always wished to be even in the same room as him and there he was, talking to Tom and Zendaya.
Tom glanced your way and motioned you to come over. “There’s Y/N!” Tom smiled.
Timothée looked in your direction and you could’ve melted right then and there. He was so magnetic. You were so drawn to him that everything began to move in slow motion. He gave you a warm smile and when you were finally with the group, he offered his hand for you to shake and simply said, “I’m Timothée. It’s nice to finally meet you!” 
You shook his hand and blushed a little, “I’m Y/N, and it’s nice to meet you too! I’m a huge fan of yours.” 
“Really? Because, I’m a fan of yours too. The way you portray your character is amazing and it feels real, if that makes sense. There’s no doubt that you’re very talented and I’m excited to see more of your work!” Timothée said.
“T, you don’t need to be so formal around her.” Zendaya chuckled. 
“Oh, that’s alright! It’s actually pretty cute.” You giggled. Tom and Zendaya looked at each other with a knowing smile before looking back at both of you.
“Z and I will get drinks for us four. We’ll be back.” Tom said as he winked at you. You found it weird, but you shrugged it off.
“So…” you started. Timothée looked at you and asked, “Are you nervous? I don’t know, I just feel that vibe from you right now.”
“Yeah, I kind of am.” You admitted with a laugh. You sighed in relief after getting that off of your chest. Timothée laughed and said, “What are you nervous about?”
“Honestly? Seeing you made me nervous. You’re just so great and being able to stand next to you is already such an honor. You’re, like, my celebrity crush.” You told him. It surprised you how casual you were in saying all that. He was surprised to know that he was your celebrity crush.
When the after party ended, he followed you back on Instagram and asked for your number. From then on you’ve been texting non-stop. You started becoming friends and Tom was really happy for you. Turns out, he and Zendaya have been wanting to set you up with Timothée for a long time and they seized the opportunity when they found out he was invited to attend the after party.
After a year of being friends, he asked you to be his girlfriend. Of course, you said yes despite hearing many people tell you that he’s sort of a playboy. You didn’t care because the only thing that mattered was you and him. Immediately, headlines about your new relationship began to emerge. He was your first serious boyfriend and in the headlines, you were just another one of his girlfriends. It hurt that people saw you that way, but Timothée reassured you that he loves you and he’s serious about you too.
The first year of your relationship with Timothée was the best. He took you to Paris and gave you a promise ring. “I know it’s not an engagement ring and I know how much you want to get married, but I just want to give you this ring as a promise that I’ll replace it with an engagement ring someday.” He said as he blushed. His nose was pink because of the cold and he slipped the ring on your finger before giving your hand a kiss. You smiled at him and gave him a huge hug. “I can’t wait!” You exclaimed happily. You truly loved him with all your heart. You felt nothing but utter bliss.
Along with the first year of your relationship came some small struggles. Timothée got busier with movie projects left and right and you were struggling a bit in handling your new fame. You were lucky that Timothée was there for you to help you. You attended all of his movie premieres and he attended all of your important events too. Everyone loved both of you and even called you “couple goals”. You were supportive of each other and his fans were thankful for you for posting pictures of him often. Both of your fan bases grew from there. Despite the growing popularity, you and Timothée started a tradition. You and him decided that every Friday night would be your “indoor-catch up-dinner date”. You loved every second of it.
The second year of your relationship your acting started to boom. Soon, your name was as big as Timothée’s. Seeing as your relationship was very public, many directors always cast you and  Timothée alongside each other for a more real chemistry on and off screen. Your Instagram was soon full of behind the scenes photos of you and Timothée. The fans absolutely loved it. This continued on until the fourth year of your relationship. Because of the money you both earned, both of you decided to buy a house together to move into. It was you and him against the world.
Timothée entered one of the rooms and was in awe. It was empty, but the light that shone through the window made the room more beautiful. It wasn’t the master’s bedroom, but it was special. Without thinking, Timothée looked at the realtor and said, “We’ll buy it!” You looked at him like he was crazy, “We didn’t see the other houses yet.”
“I know, but this room right here is too special to pass up. The light in here is just as gorgeous as you and y’know we could make this our game room or a date night room. We could slow dance in here or play cards or work. I’m just so excited to be spending some time with you here.” He said as he lovingly looked at you.
The fifth year of your relationship started being rocky. You never thought anything of it. Timothée did bring up the idea of not accepting projects that have something to do with you and him being together. “Oh, may I ask why?” You asked, wondering why he brought it up. “Y/N, I love you, but I miss being able to work with other people. I hope you don’t take it the wrong way. I loved working with you as a couple for, like, three years. We made over six movies together and I cherish every single one of them. I just want to work with someone now.” He confessed. It hurt hearing him say that, but you knew he was right. Both of you needed to grow as actors and for that to happen, you had to work with different people. You looked at him and gave him a small smile, “Alright. I understand.”
“Thank you.”
Soon, he was casted in a lot of movies with different people and you decided to widen your range. You walked on runways, you starred in commercials, you guested on podcasts, and you starred in music videos. You were always present when Timothée had a premiere, but he started lessening his public appearances with you at your events. Everyone didn’t seem to notice. Maybe because his projects were overshadowing yours or maybe because your important events didn’t seem as important as his. You didn’t mind, though. You just longed for him to be next to you.
In your sixth year, a video of Timothée went viral when an interviewer asked about you and his smile dropped a bit and said, “Y/N’s doing great. I’m happy for all her achievements. As much as I want to talk about her, I’d like to focus on the film please. That’s what we’re all here for, anyway.”
Meanwhile, a video compilation of you talking about Timothée went viral. Many fans noted how different you two are. Many say you didn’t deserve him. Others say that you’re too clingy for Timothée’s liking. You decided to post on your Instagram story, defending Timothée.
You defended him a lot more times after that.
You got nothing in return, though.
You stared at the promise ring on your finger during your seventh year and wondered when Timothée would propose. You were experiencing the seven year itch; it’s your make it or break it year as a couple. Many fans speculated a break up after seeing Timothée do nothing. You still defended him amidst all negativity. You posted him all the time and he only posted you once on your birthday. You were growing tired, but you faced every single day with a smile on your face, hoping to trick yourself into being your usual self.
Timothée started bailing on your Friday night dates, often choosing to party with his friends to celebrate something that didn’t concern you. You still cooked and made the whole place look nice, though. You didn’t know why. Maybe deep down you knew that your relationship is in shambles and that you needed to convince yourself that everything’s fine. You knew many people were questioning Timothée’s love for you and in an effort to save his reputation, you took a picture of all the food you prepared and posted it on Instagram with the caption: tim may be out with his friends now, but he made sure to cook these for me before leaving. thank you, my love.
You didn’t know what hurt you most: the fact that you did that or the fact that Timothée liked the post and commented “no problem. Anything for you. Enjoy.”
You cried yourself to sleep that night. Timothée arrived home when you were silently crying. You felt the bed dip down on his side and he whispered, “Thanks for the food. I’ll eat it tomorrow.”
You made it through another year. It’s your eighth year dating Timothée and he still hasn’t made his promise come true. However, you drowned yourself in your work. So much so, that you were even busier than Timothée now. Headlines were vile, though. Timothée was out of the country filming his new movie and you attended red carpets on your own. Many people compared your relationship with Tom and Zendaya. Many people attacked you for Timothée’s lack of presence.
“Y/N! It’s so great to see you. How do you feel that Timothée is not here with you on your special day? You’ve been nominated as Best Actress in your new film, but Timothée is nowhere to be found.” The interviewer asked.
“He’s out of the country filming for his new movie, actually! I’m extremely happy for him. He’s been truly blessed.” You smiled brightly at the interviewer despite feeling sick to your stomach as you had to put up an act in front of the interviewer.
“Well, I’m sure he would make time for you. Tom Holland always finds a way to support Zendaya on the red carpet all the time. Why can’t Timothée do the same?” 
“Um,” You started. You feel so uncomfortable right now. “I don’t think you should compare my relationship with others because every relationship is different. Timothée supports me too in his own way. He’s a silent cheerleader, always has been and I accept him for it. Thank you.” You said before walking away. You wanted to cry.
After that, Timothée never even called or texted to ask if you were okay and how the event went. You entered the room you and Timothée loved and sat alone in the dark and cried. You were so tired of feeling this way, but you loved him with all your heart.
Your ninth year comes around and you find yourself glaring at Timothée almost always. You were just waiting for him to break up with you already so you could move on with your life. However, Timothée has been spending time with you a lot lately which made it hard for you to get mad at him. Even if what he’s doing is the bare minimum. He’s been taking you out on dates, he was bringing back the Friday night catch-ups, he’s posting you more on social media, and he even took a break from acting just to be with you on set. It gave the fans joy. It gave news outlets something to report about. Most of all, it gave you hope. Maybe the old him is finally back for good.
During your tenth year, a lot of people were confused. Everyone thought you’d be married with children by now. An interview of you and Timothée from ten years ago recently went viral. In the video, the interviewer asked you and Timothée where your relationship stands in ten years. Timothée, in the video, simply answered, “probably still together” with a small chuckle. You, on the other hand, excitedly said, “by then we’d most likely be married for about five years with two or three young children”. The fan who posted the short clip on Twitter captioned it with: it’s been ten years, but nothing happened at all i hope my parents are okay :(( 
Your body language has been on autopilot for a while now. In front of the cameras, you smiled brightly and laughed more, but if you looked closely, your eyes had no life. Your heart grew cold too. You were immune to any shenanigans Timothée has put you through. After years of not being in the same movie together, you and Timothée were casted as the main characters of a film by Greta Gerwig.
In the press conference, one interviewer asked you and Timothée about the video that went viral. “Yeah, we saw the video. I forgot about that to be honest.” Timothée chuckled as he looked at you with a small smile. You never looked back at him, though. You just stared at the interviewer and said, “I forgot about it too, but y’know when you’re working, you always don’t know that a few years have already gone by. One day, you’ll just realize ‘oh wow it’s been a long time!’. So, yeah.”
“Any plans on getting married soon? I mean, I think I speak for everyone when I say that everyone wants to see the Hollywood It Couple to finally tie the knot.” The interviewer added.
“I’m always ready for marriage. I think I’ve always been ready… no matter how tired I was. I think I’m just waiting to be asked.” You chuckled half-heartedly as you put down the mic on your lap and looked at Timothée, who was now looking at the interviewer. You looked at him with hope. You wanted him to defend you just once because you knew you looked like an idiot waiting for him. Thinking about it made you tear up, but you held your composure.
“You know, for me, marriage is just a piece of paper. I feel content with what I have now. Let’s see again in ten years.” Timothée joked, causing everyone to laugh with what he said going over everyone’s head. You nodded to yourself and looked away from him. You gave a big smile as everyone laughed. You were dying and he was laughing. How can he be so dense?
Vogue did a photo shoot with you and Timothée on your anniversary. They interviewed you too about having a long relationship. At that point, you were lying to yourself. Any body language expert would see that your eyes had no spark as it once had when you started dating him.
You were at the point in your relationship that you couldn’t feel him anymore. There’s only so much your heart could take. In your eleventh year, you found yourself sneaking out of your shared room to go to yours and Timothée’s favorite room. You would sit in the dark and cry at ungodly hours. You would sleep there too. Timothée never even looked for you. He just assumed you had work and left early. It happened a lot. Sometimes, when you walked out of the room, you’d smell something good coming from the kitchen. He was cooking breakfast.
“Oh, you’re here! You’re lucky I cooked a lot.” Timothée chuckled and set up a plate for you. He looked at you and it was evident that you’ve been crying. “Are you okay?” He asked.
Hearing that made you cry again. For the first time in a long time, he finally asked you that. Regardless, you nodded through your tears and wiped them away. “I’m alright. I was just reading a script that someone sent me and it just hit hard, I guess.” You answered with a teary-eyed smile before sitting down on your usual seat. You started eating the food he cooked as tears streamed down your face.
Your birthday came around and Zendaya threw you a surprise party at a club that you liked. Timothée wasn’t even there. He was working late on set. He probably forgot about your birthday. You didn’t care anymore. Your relationship is already in shambles anyway whether he knew it or not. When the party ended, it was raining hard outside. When you arrived home, there was no electricity due to the heavy rain. You didn’t go straight to your shared room with Timothée. Instead, you went to your favorite room and there was Timothée in the candle lit room with a small cake on the coffee table. He smiled at you and said, “Happy birthday, Y/N! I’m so sorry. I forgot, but I hope this makes up for it. I know it’s not perfect, but hey, today’s Friday catch-up. What a great way to celebrate your birthday, huh?”
You sat on the bean bag chair, stared at the cake, and looked at him. You were crying again. He frowned and knelt down in front of you, “What’s wrong? Do you not like the cake? We can get a new one tomorrow, I promise-”
“When are you going to stop with these promises, Timmy?” You said, your heart wrenching in pain. It was heavy, what you were feeling. You couldn’t handle it anymore.
“What do you mean? I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He said. He was lost.
“I know you don’t understand. You never did understand anything.” You cried. “It’s time to stop lying to ourselves. We haven’t been okay for so long and I feel sick to my stomach seeing you act as if we’re okay all day, everyday. I’m tired, T. I’m so tired.”
He looked at you; he really looked at you. It was then that he saw the bags under your eyes, the puffiness, the redness, and he saw the pain in your eyes take over the spark of joy. How could he be so blind? You were long gone.
“I’m tired of putting up a happy face in front of everyone. I’m tired of pretending that you’re happy for me. I’m tired of wondering how you can watch me walk the red carpets alone while you’re away in some country filming a movie. I’m tired of comparing and wishing for you to become more available to me. I’ve been supporting you since day one and you couldn’t even do the same for me.” You cried heavily.
“Is that how you really feel? I brag about you all the time to my friends whenever I see you strutting on the runway or walking on the red carpet with your castmates.” He said softly.
“That’s different, T.” You sighed heavily and stood up. “That’s different.”
“I wanted you there with me.” You sniffed.
“I am-”
“No! You’re not! You’re never here for me!” You shouted angrily as hot tears streamed down your face. “You left me to fight my own battles. You left me to fend for myself. You left me to defend you when many people said awful shit about you.”
“Who said I needed defending?” He asked, stubbornly. “No one did.”
“No one asked me to defend you, but I did it because I loved you! Don’t you get it?! I made sure to paint a good picture of you in front of everyone because I loved you!” You cried.
“I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay. I’m tired of hoping that the old Timothée I fell in love with will come back to me. I’m tired of asking myself when we’ll finally get married. I’m tired of defending you. I’m tired of proving to other people that we’re very much in love even though we haven’t had a picture in years.”
Timothée looked at you as tears streamed down his face. He was so blind to it all. He kept quiet as he listened to you.
“Prolonging this relationship is a huge mistake.” You confessed sadly. “I feel so sorry for myself because I look delusional, thinking you’ll back me up for once. Thinking maybe you’ll surprise me on the red carpet, but no. It’s always been your projects over mine.”
“Our friends are married and they have families now and I’m sick and tired of being left behind. I feel like I wasted years of my life just for this relationship to work, hoping every year that maybe things will change. I guess I never learned my lesson. I just wanted you to see me, but you never looked at me at all. I just wished you would look at me with the same passionate look you would give to the crowd. It’s hard to admit that you love them more than you love me.”
“The fucked up part is I can’t seem to hate you because I love you too much to do so. It breaks my own heart to decide not to be with you anymore.” You cried. “All these years waiting for you to just leave me is tiring. I’m leaving instead. My world revolved around you and it’s time that it stops.”
“I gave you a chance multiple times. You never did anything for me. You never said anything. You never lost anything. You never even risked one day of filming just to come see me. Your loyalty lies with your job and if it wasn’t clear to me before, it’s crystal clear for me now. I’m sorry for not being good enough.” You sobbed. You looked down at the promise ring sitting on your ring finger for the past ten years. You looked at him and walked towards him. You took off the ring, grabbed his hand and placed it on his palm. “Give it to the next girl you promise to marry. Just follow through with it this time.”
“Y/N, the only girl I want to marry is you.” Timothée cried. “I was going to propose tonight.”
Both of you sobbed as you looked at each other with very different emotions. You looked at him with tired eyes and in defeat. He looked at you with forlorn and hope; he hoped you would change his mind, but he knew deep down that you were tired of choosing him all the time. He knew you were going to choose yourself now.
“You’re so unfair, T. If you said that years ago, you knew I would’ve said yes even before you knelt down and showed me the ring. An engagement ring isn’t a band-aid for a broken mirror. If I said yes now, we’d still be broken; I’d still be broken while you’ll be out chasing the world as I’d chase after you.”
“I love you, Y/N.” Timothée cried. “I really do. I hope you know that.”
“I love you too and I’m afraid I always will, but I have to go.” You sighed heavily as you wiped your tears with your hands. Timothée pulled you in for a tight hug and you did the same.
News of your break up with Timothée was all over social media. You decided not to say anything. You were too tired of fending for your relationship on behalf of you and Timothée for years. It was his time to return the favor.
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pokemon1oadvanced · 8 months
Text
Thoughts on the live action one piece
Spoilers 😉
Yes, I binged all 8 episodes, and have work today and can’t see out my eyes but worth it.
I’ll try to keep it short.
Luffys character was immaculate. The way Inaki portrayed him and brought this man to life was so amazing to see. Oda really saw Luffy in him and he did not disappoint. The moves looked great, CGI was on point for a live action, and they really did break the curse.
Zoro’s character was beautiful. I love that he was more serious, and him throwing up the finger in his first scene?! I’m star struck. You can say what you want about the live action, but theres no denying this cast was perfect for these characters and the fight scenes were choreographed to the point where it looked so clean.
Nami 🥳 The emotion! The conflict! I absolutely love the way she had more action scenes and was more open with her care for the crew early on. Nami has always been my favourite character, and Emily did her justice.
I will be listening to her song on repeat.
Ussop! Ussop! Are you serious! Why do I love you in every reality! And Ussop and Kaya! The kiss! The scream I let out! I died😵‍💫 I wish he had more shooting scenes, but his true potential wasn’t seen until later in the anime so I can’t complain, cause season two Ussop is gonna pop off.
Sanji😳 First off, live action Sanji has a hold on me😮‍💨 Like what happened to the guy who couldn’t get any girls. Ngl, was keeping an eye out for the blonde at table 8, looking out for my competition👀 His kicks were so smooth and all, and I mean ALL, his fight scenes were perfect. Like how did they do this. You can see the care and effort he put into his character.
Buggy? I love our unhinged clown. His making a circus with trapped towns people. His CGI? Amazing. The little goof we were left with when they trapped his parts in the chest made me cackle!
The pacing of the show was done so well. I was worried that 8 episodes wouldn’t be enough (and I was right where’s season two I want Vivi), but the retelling was more then I hoped for. I will always love the anime more, as most of us know there’s not enough episodes in the series, but the live action did great in that respect. I did miss some of the characters they had to cut to make it flow better though. The ussop pirates live on in our hearts
Don’t get me wrong, there was some scenes I missed from the original show, like Zoro lifting Luffy’s cage, Nami burning her hands on Buggys cannon fuse, Nami stabbing Ussop. BUT, they wouldn’t have fit in this version of the show.
They did give us Zoro lifting the safe like he did Luffys cage which was cool. And Nami holding Ussops hand when Zoro was fighting, Nami showing up for the fight rather then leaving. I love her. Even though Nami didn’t get to show her care through the actions of saving Zoro or stabbing her own hand, she was still able to show those emtions through different actions. The hand holding with Ussop rather then the stabbing of her hand was so good to see. This version of Nami seemed more fragile in a way, so this suited her version well.
It was like watching One Piece for the first time all over again. I didn’t know what would happen. Getting more marines, and Garps relationship to Luffy being revealed so early in the series to cause tension within the crew *chef’s kiss* And Koby? ‘Be a good pirate.’? Like I love you? Not doing what Garp asked? Standing up for his beliefs? You are going to be a good Marine. You’ll be the greatest 💕
The relationships they explored?
First off Ussop and Kaya 😵 I love them so much. Them talking to the straw hats about their relationship was so cute, and Zoro saying it wasn’t his area of expertise 💅🏻✨ Jokes 👀
Nami being besties with Kaya😍 Her telling Kaya not to let someone tell her how to run her life, drawing connections to her own situation, telling Kaya not to be trapped. Her returning the treasure! I loved it so much. Ussop’s and Nami’s friendship has always been the one I cherished in the crew, and for Nami to support Kaya, and Ussop to see how Nami was good to his girl I feel will only strengthen their relationship.
Nami and Zoro besties? Didn’t know I could love them more.
Nami caring so much for Zoro after his fight with Mihawk showed her love for her new friends, and mirrored her care she had in the original series where she saved him from drowning at Arlong park. Even though we didn’t get the original scenes, they were supplemented with new scenes that held the same feelings.
Zosan- I mean Zoro and Sanji. The wings of the pirate king? I love their bickering in any universe it seems. The fish men fight was so good, them being unbothered with the guys trying to kill them as they fought with each other was so them. And Zoro licking his plate clean and saying Sanji’s food was okay? Not bad for a waiter huh?
And the most important pair. Captain and his first mate. I just loved how many times they reiterated that Zoro is Luffys right hand man 🥰 Luffy not stepping in the way of Zoros dream was beautiful, and his care afterwards reminded me of how he cared for Nami when she got sick in the original series. Asking Sanji to cook his favourite? So cute. He couldn’t decide if it was best for Zoro to eat or sleep or drink and him stressing for Zoro. All amazing. I’ve used amazing so many times but its just the word I need to explain it. Zoro waking up, Luffy engulfing him. I could go on and on.
Nami and Luffy? The amount of love I have for them. They were everything I wanted from them. The scene. THE scene. Beautiful.
I could go on and on about this show, but sadly I have work. Please show this version love, and don’t go into expecting the same series. It is different. It’s its own version and deserves its own category.
I love the cast! Thank you for making history with this adaptation! Xx
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jingsyuans · 1 year
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Hiya, saw that you're taking requests for Jing Yuan :3
I've read through a few of your fics and absolutely love the way you portray him <3
So I wanted to ask if you could write something with him where the reader is struggling with insomnia due to either nightmares or stress overload? (preferably sfw with fluff overload ples :3)
If you're not comfortable with that or don't get an image in your head is totally cool and u can ignore this, have a cookie for your troubles and great work 🍪
a/n: you’ll actually find there’s little I’m not comfortable with, anon! This turned out longer than I thought, I’m still in the stage with Jing Yuan where everything rambles on into a full story because I like him so much and my muse is strong HAHA
Themes: oneshot, prior to any relationship, late night vulnerability and Jing Yuan being smitten. Unedited.
⚝──⭒─Jing Yuan ; 3am ─⭒──⚝
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Jing Yuan was no stranger to stress and sleepless nights. It comes with the job, fortunately or unfortunately. He has no trouble falling asleep- he’s proven that quite enough with how he dozes off at inopportune times. His problem is more along the lines of having too much to do at night so it keeps him busy.
He isn’t sure what your version of sleepless nights looks like. He knows that you have them- he can tell from the drag in your step and the heaviness of your eyelids. He also knows that there might be several factors as to why you haven’t been getting much sleep lately, the sudden jumpy nature you have while at work is proof of that. But how to approach the subject? That’s something that requires some thought.
Your relationship was almost nothing outside of a work environment. Jing Yuan had made the steps to possibly progress it further, but his process was always step by step and rather methodical. Which, to put it simply, means that he’s rather slow. He doesn’t like to rush into things. You’ve taken his interest and he doesn’t want that interest to run out, so he ever so gently coaxes new information out of you every so often as to satiate his interest but still keep him hungry for more.
Your change in behavior as of recently presents on opportunity for the two of you to grow closer. Presents an opportunity for Jing Yuan to show he cares about you more than just a subordinate, but doesn’t hint at anything too excessive. A gentle nudge is what it is.
So he takes his opportunity once the two of you are alone in the Seat of Divine Foresight. Some would call it his office, which he supposes it is, but the room is too open and broad with Knights, secretaries, and officers always moving around inside and out. Really, the Divine Foresight is too public in a lot of ways.
But people must go home eventually to retire for the evening, and you usually leave with the crowd. But these past few nights you’ve been keeping him silent company in the large office, scribbling away at papers and clearly keeping yourself busy with things that could be done the next day. So it’s on one of these evenings that you share with him yet again that Jing Yuan decides to retire early. Early for him, anyhow.
He wraps up messily- his desk is always full so he never bothers to clear it off, leaving scrolls open and scattered. He at least has the decency to cap his inkwell to make sure it doesn’t spill, but that’s about all before he’s silently walking down the steps where his desk is and heading for you.
You don’t notice him hovering from behind. Your hand is in your hair, slightly tugging on the strands as you tap your pen endlessly on the desk. Clearly, you’re reaching a dead end. But you’re making no signs to stop your work just yet.
He’s careful, but perhaps not very thoughtful as he places a hand on your shoulder and watches as you jump. The smile is already on his face by the time you turn around, eyes wide open before seeing it was merely your general.
“Evening, ___,” he says your name carefully. It isn’t often that it’s after hours and there’s barely anyone around so he can drop the formalities. “Why don’t you wrap up here? It’s late, as I’m sure that you’re aware.”
“Ah, yes, general,” your eyes don’t meet his for long before you’re looking back to your desk, lips pursed. He doesn’t mind that you don’t reciprocate his casualties— clearly you have more prominent things on your mind. “Yes, it’s late. But I’ve still got work to do, so-“
Without asking- because in all honesty he doesn’t really need to, he’s your boss- Jing Yuan picks up the scrolls you were staring holes into. You splutter and hold up a hand to try and stop him, but freeze when he reads the work aloud.
“Curfew laws, scuffles with civilians, signing off on trade and market…” All rather unimportant affairs that don’t justify you staying late. He looks down at you and doesn’t say anything more, and by the way you sigh and look to the ground, he knows his point is proven. Putting the scrolls back down on the desk, his touch returns to your shoulder with a squeeze before he brings his hands behind his back. “I’ll lead you out.”
Jing Yuan at least lets you wrap up by yourself, gathering your coat and other things that you’ve been bringing with you to work for your late nights. He stands by the large doors until you’re ready, and when you begin to walk toward him, expression bitter, he chuckles aloud and opens the door for you.
“Thanks, general… I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” you mumble tiredly when the two of you exit the Divine Foresight, already heading off to the sky jetty where a Knight stands ready to take the both of you back. Jing Yuan doesn’t say anything as he follows behind you, letting you slowly clue yourself in. You give him a strange look once you notice he’s not heading back to the Divine Foresight. “It’s still rather early for you, general. You’re already headed home?”
The Knight boards the jetty and opens the sliding doors for you to enter, Jing Yuan sitting down inside first as you continue to hesitate and stare at him from outside.
“I’m not headed home just yet,” he tells you, answer vague and surely frustrating from the face you make at him. His smile just grows wider as he pats the seat next to him. “Come on, then. You shouldn’t make your general wait.”
That at least spurs you into action, your bag in your hands moving to your lap as you make yourself comfortable in the jetty beside him. The airship takes off in a smooth movement, and the trip is silent as it brings you back to the Exalting Sanctum. There’s a few times that your eyes flit over to Jing Yuan during the ride; each time he’s already looking at you and you quickly look away, posture tense.
Once the jetty pulls into the drop off spot, you basically jump out of your seat to get out first. Jing Yuan isn’t sure if it’s because you couldn’t wait to get away from him, or you were still being uptight because of the fact he’s your general and you didn’t want to make him wait since he was in the seat away from the door. Either way, he laughs at you.
“You know, from the way you’re acting I would say you don’t like me very much. But surely that isn’t true.” Jing Yuan cannot help but tease, continuing to stick to you like glue as you both walk away from the jetty’s drop off.
Your jumpiness that he observed before still proves true as you jolt at his accusation and shake your head, eyebrows tensely drawn. “No, you know that’s not it, general! Sorry- I… just wasn’t ready to go home yet.” Your shoulders sink with your sigh.
Beside you, Jing Yuan hums. “Understandable. But you don’t have to go home yet, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Looking at him, you purse your lips again. “I’m not going to just mill around aimlessly at this hour. I don’t need the Knights thinking I’m some suspicious figure and then I have to deal with the report at work.”
Jing Yuan laughs, quirking his brow at you. “That’s not what I’m suggesting, but it’s amusing to see where your mind goes. No, instead of stirring up more trouble for yourself tomorrow, I was thinking of dinner.”
“Dinner?”
You don’t realize where Jing Yuan has led you during your short conversation until you’re already there, the late night restaurant catching your eye with its lights still buzzing. The lanterns for dining are still on as well, dimmed with the late hour and reflecting red across your skin and dancing across your eyes as you look back at him.
It feels like a piece of you is slowly crawling back as you smile at him, laughing discreetly through your nose. “You’re not asking me out, are you general?”
Jing Yuan leads you to a seat, pulling it out for you with his own eyes gleaming with mirth. “Depends on how you look at it,” he comments, and once you’re seated he pats your shoulders. “If you don’t mind, I’ll order for the both of us. I skipped lunch this afternoon in order to go to a board meeting and I’ve never regretted something so immensely.”
Another piece molds back into place as you outright laugh at him and relax into the chair. “Alright, go ahead. I still remember when the rumors were going around about you eating pounds of exotic meat all by yourself, and now I’m wondering if they’re true.”
“The Gluttonous General,” he recalls, “yes, I remember that. I’ll leave it up to you and your own judgement, but I should remind you I have a two hundred pound cat, if that sheds any light on anything.”
“Oh, Mimi! How’s she doing?”
Jing Yuan smiles and startles you when he taps your nose, teasing as ever. “I’ll tell you once I’ve ordered.” He watches as you blush, visible or not it’s clear as day that you’re flustered and it’s his turn to laugh at you, albeit not unkindly.
Ordering is a quick affair. He’s already thought this evening through and knows exactly what he wants. Taking you out to eat isn’t exactly new to him either; there’d been a few times in the long years you’ve worked for Jing Yuan that you’d both have lunch together. Sometimes there’d be a third or fourth party, and sometimes it was just the two of you. From those times, though, he’s learned your tastes and has a fair amount of confidence as he orders your plate.
He comes back with a tray of brewed tea in hand. You look a little surprised that he’s carrying it himself, which he explains once he’s sat down across from you and places the tea on the table.
“I didn’t want to wait.”
The way you giggle at him is downright adorable, but he keeps such thoughts to himself as he pours your cup first and then his own. You hesitate before taking the cup he’s offered, and he shakes his head.
“It’s not caffeinated, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Your shoulders sink and you’re clearly disappointed, lifting up the cup to drink anyway. “Sorry to disappoint, but I didn’t want to contribute to your long nights more than I already have. Someone has to look after you.” He mutters that last part, perhaps revealing more than he should and how he feels- but he forgets that you’ve been sleeping horribly so you barely catch wind of his implications. The expression on your face is reserved, clearly a facade as you clear your throat.
“No, that makes sense. Thank you, general, I-“
“You know, it’s long past office hours.” Jing Yuan can’t help but interrupt you this once, bringing the steaming cup of tea up to his lips and blowing softly before he lifts his gaze to you. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t address me by rank. I understand the need to keep yourself at a distance, but there’s no harm in opening up at this moment and letting us speak as two individuals rather than subordinate and general.” He smiles once he’s finished. “It would make me happy to talk to you without those restrictions.”
Again, maybe he’s stating too much. But Jing Yuan has observed a lot in his time and he recognizes that there’s certain moments that call for vulnerability in order to show a favorable outcome. Of course, vulnerability is a tricky thing, which is why he’s normally so hesitant. There’s no honest way to predict emotions like there is fact and logic, so predicting how you might feel to his vulnerability is like taking a shot in the dark.
But in an odd way, Jing Yuan trusts you, and you haven’t proved him wrong to trust you just yet. Especially not when you finally open to him like a flower that hasn’t yet bloomed, your expression loosening and no longer trying to hide like before. It’s a beautiful process to watch.
“I can understand that… Jing Yuan,” you’re shy as you say his name, but your smile overrules that. You try to hide it by taking another sip of your tea, but he sees the edges of your lips upturned and the crinkle in your eyes and he counts himself as satisfied. “I guess I never realized how holding titles can keep the atmosphere stiff.”
“It’s subtle,” he nods along. “But I believe it’s there. Anyhow, you wanted to know how Mimi is doing?”
Your eyes light up, and he’s caught you- hook, line, and sinker. Your conversation becomes a lot less filtered and a lot more genuine as the night continues to tick by, becoming later and later and yet earlier and earlier, depending how you looked at the clock. The food comes by and he knows he made the right choice in your order- just like him, you essentially ravage your plate. That in itself is something not a lot of people get to see- at one point Jing Yuan scoops up some food with his hands and you catch it instantly, your eyes shining with the knowledge as you make eye contact and yet saying nothing at all as he licks his fingers clean.
He wouldn’t dare to be so untidy and messy around anyone else, but it’s all part of the process to show you that you’re unique to him. Around you, he does a lot of things he wouldn’t normally do around others. You’ll come to realize this and what it really means as more time goes on.
It’s once your meals are finished and you’ve got a fresh pot of tea as a palette cleanser that he strikes again, true intentions for tonight coming to light.
“So, my dear ___, tell me. What is it that’s keeping you in the Divine Foresight so late?”
At this point, you’ve relaxed considerably. The possibility of opening up to him has increased dramatically, and Jing Yuan knows you’re about to tell him by the way your demeanor shifts. You’re finally letting yourself look as tired as you feel by just the question alone and knowing you were about to answer it.
“It’s hard to talk about,” you start slowly. “But I guess it’s because I’m trying to keep myself busy.”
Jing Yuan nods along, helping you ever so slightly. “Because you don’t want to go home. And why is that?”
“Um… well, if I have to go home, I have to go to bed eventually. And… I can’t go to bed. I can’t sleep.” Your lips twitch as silence washes over the two of you. He doesn’t want to interrupt you this time, instead offering you the silence so you can gather your thoughts and how you want to communicate them to him. It’s a careful process. “Sometimes it’s just a product of my own design. I stimulate myself too much before bed with work or other things, and it keeps my head awake. Other times, it’s… a lot of nightmares.” You finally let the problem slip, eyes drifting down to your teacup as you smooth your fingers over the rim. “I’ve thought about getting things to help, but… mm.”
Jing Yuan takes a deep breath through his nose, nodding once to show his understanding. “I see. Nightmares are tricky things. And you’re right, I’m sure you’re already aware of the ways you can try and make them disappear, but… it’s a different story if you don’t want them to.”
Your eyes flit up to his, an inch of surprise on your face that he merely smiles at, his eyes soft.
“I’m no stranger to nightmares either. It can be easy to convince yourself that you deserve them. That you need them in order to remember what you don’t want to remember. What you feel guilty over, responsible over, fearful over.” Jing Yuan takes another sip of his tea, letting the flavor sink into his tongue before he swallows. “I have a lot of fears myself. A lot of troubles that could haunt me if I let them. I understand the frustration that you might be facing.”
Setting the cup down, he inches forward into the table just a little bit. “Perhaps this is unwarranted, but may I offer you some advice?”
You seem surprised. Still, you nod, allowing him to continue with interest painted across your features. He notices how you’ve inched along your own seat and says nothing.
“We live long life spans, longer than what was ever intended. With that comes a lot more burdensome and troubling memories than maybe we were designed to handle. It’s natural to have your mind caught up in the excess every so often, considering the circumstances.” His tone is gentle and unwavering as he speaks. “My advice to you is to not be a stranger. I may not know exactly what your nightmares are about, but I can see how they’re affecting you. Do not forget the life in front of you now, the ground you walk, the people you see.” His eyes wander as he talks, to the overhead lanterns that create a soft ambiance to the small creek that lined the Exalting Sanctum and split the land with bridges. “There are a lot of wonderful things waiting for you. Always, day to day. It might not cure your heartache, but that was never the intention. It’s not always about the cure, the end all, erasing it from existence. It’s about nurturing it, forgiving it, loving it, and making peace with it.” Jing Yuan looks back to you, tapping the surface of the table with his fingers. “As long as we are living and breathing and trying to make our way in this universe, I believe it’s our duty to keep an open mind to our pain and know that it’s not always a bad thing to bear as long as you understand the cause, the purpose, and the meaning behind it.”
The silence that follows is long and thoughtful, at least from his own perspective. There’s a chill of wind that blows by, the creek continues to babble, and you look at Jing Yuan like you’re putting together your own puzzle pieces for him just like he is for you.
“Yanqing is right,” you finally speak up after some time. “You speak in a lot of riddles and nonsense, Jing Yuan.”
His eyes widen at your comment, at first too surprised to do anything except state. But then he cannot help the way his head throws back, laughing a little too loud for this time of night. You laugh along with him, eyes squinting with mirth and teeth showing through your smile.
“But still, with that being said,” you continue after the first wave of his laughter has subsided, “I appreciate you a lot. Though what you’ve said doesn’t make sense to me quite yet… I think your actions speak louder than your words.” You hum as you look down at the table with empty plates and tea saucers, laughing to yourself as if it were funny. “Thank you for taking me out tonight. Thank you for noticing. It’s kind of you, Jing Yuan.”
“Well, I’m happy I’ve at least done something right tonight,” he says, scooting out his chair. You look a little surprised before you move to do the same thing, standing up with him as you take your tea cup and finish what was left. “Let me escort you home.”
“You don’t have to do that,” of course, to be polite, you refuse. Just as he knew you would. So he sighs in defeat.
“Alright,” he says. “I suppose I’ll just walk right behind you and be the suspicious figure you have to file a report for tomorrow.”
Jing Yuan thrills in the way you practically squawk with laughter, and just like that he’s walking beside you away from the restaurant, bill being paid for a long time ago. “You really don’t give me a choice then!”
“Mm,” his eye crinkles. “No, not really.”
“At least you’re honest about it.”
“I’m always honest.”
You laugh at him again, rolling your eyes without even trying to hide it from him. “Sure, general.”
The rest of the walk is filled with just as spirited chatter. It’s refreshing to Jing Yuan- while its true that he tends to prefer a mutual, comforting silence, it doesn’t mean he cannot enjoy the moment. He greatly enjoys it- seeing you become so unfiltered around him makes him hopeful and happy, though he tries not to show just how much. By the time the two of you arrive at your home, things finally quiet, and you thank him genuinely as you stop in front of your door.
“There’s no need,” he waves off your thanks easily with a smile. “It was a pleasure to be with you tonight. And I hope you know that while we cannot do it every night, I will always be open to the idea of doing it again.” He hums before continuing, smile dropping a fraction. “And I hope you know I don’t mind your late nights. It’s been nice having the company, but it would be better if I knew it wasn’t at your own expense. Take care of yourself, ___.”
He seems to tie your tongue completely, because you merely stare at him in response. Not that Jing Yuan minds- he always likes when your eyes are on him, especially like this- when you look so soft and precious that you could break without proper care.
He wants to take care of you, he does. But he’ll try his best to reveal that to you along with everything else later on.
“Thank you, Jing Yuan,” your voice is soft once it manages to leave your throat. “I… well. I-“ you seem to be holding something back, expression debating before you visibly steel yourself.
And then, beyond all his expectations and planning, you take a step toward him and wrap your arms around him, closing the space between you. What’s unfair is that you don’t even give him any time to recover from his surprise, don’t give him the time to reciprocate and hold you tenderly and take notice to how your body feels against his-
Because as soon as you came, you’re gone. Face flushed adorably as you avoid his eyes and move toward your door, muttering a wish of goodnight to him. And then he’s suddenly all alone in the chill of night, staring at your front door.
Once Jing Yuan recovers, he can’t find it in himself to even be disappointed. No. No, he can only smile, perhaps he is even beaming as he slowly walks away from your door and back to the station of jetties so he can head home himself. But he’s not so sure he’ll rest all that well tonight, not when his mind is busy going over the night with you. He thinks about everything you said and the opportunities birthed from your honesty. But of course, more than any of that, he’s thinking about what else he’ll have to do to get you to surprise him again. If all it takes is a little vulnerability,
Than Jing Yuan thinks it’s worth it to be vulnerable with you.
1K notes · View notes
seuonji · 7 months
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彡 my heart is beating for two. — yoon jeonghan
part 1 ๑ part 2 ๑ part 3
notes ๑ daycare worker yn! x secretary jeonghan — jeonghan becomes fond of the daycare worker he met the other day, seems like fate is on his side through this journey, or is it?
genre ๑ fluff, new interest, mutual pining.
warnings ๑ profanity
word count ๑ 1.4k
from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3
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“we’re homee!” jeonghan walked into his boss’s office with yuna in his arms. he had yuna’s small sparkly pink bag slung around his shoulder and his hair was messy and hair strands covered the front of his eyes, courtesy of yuna playing with it. he honestly looked like a struggling single mother and seungcheol was humoured by the view.
“yuna!” seungcheol squatted and opened his arms. jeonghan quickly placed yuna down as she started to move around in excitement from seeing her father. she ran towards him with the same opens arms and wrapped them around him.
“thank you jeonghan, so sorry to trouble you with this, i can’t thank you enough,” seungcheol looked up to his secretary with doe eyes.
“it’s no worries, it’s my job to follow your orders, don’t be afraid to ask me to go again,” the secretary replied as he flopped onto the couch seungcheol had in his office.
seungcheol perked his head up, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. seungcheol has known jeonghan for years and they’re actually pretty close so he knows what tasks jeonghan likes and dislikes. one of those tasks jeonghan disliked was undertaking tasks irrelevant to the main job. seungcheol knew his secretary found those tasks unreasonable. one time jeonghan was told to make orders for a party that didn’t have anything to do anything with the company and he very much remained sour for the rest of the week due to the hassle it was.
for someone with a mere position of being a secretary, he sure had string opinions. lucky for him, people seemed to let it slide.
jeonghan of course, always complied, it’s his job to follow what seungcheol says but he never hides his disdain for activities he isn’t fond of.
“really?” seungcheol titlted his head. seungcheol was sure this would be one of the tasks jeonghan was to dislike but perhaps since it was for someone he cared about, yuna, it was okay.
“…it’s my job?” the secretary ogled his eyes to his boss, confused on why he’d say that.
seungcheol bit his lip and his eyebrows pinched together hesitating to ask more. it’s not like it was a big deal but there must’ve been something interesting on why he’d be okay with going back but maybe he was just overthinking it.
“you’re right,” seungcheol laughed before dismissing his secretary, “well, i’ll be leaving soon. again, thank you for earlier. drive safe on the road alright?”
jeonghan nodded in response and said goodbye as he left the room.
seungcheol organised his desk and collected his things getting ready to leave. “how was daycare yuna,” he smiled making conversation with his daughter.
“fun!” she answered excitedly.
“what did you do?”
“i played with yn also they read a book to me today!”
“you really like yn huh?” seungcheol chuckled walking towards the exit as yuna followed.
“of course!”
he smiled at the pure child joy portrayed in front of his eyes. he’s happy he found a great daycare for his daughter to be at.
“that’s weird, even uncle jeonghan asked me if i like yn, who wouldn’t like yn?” yuna asked genuinely.
seungcheol stopped his steps in the middle of the hallway and his head shifted to yuna.
“what do you mean?”
“uncle jeonghan asked me if i liked yn, of course i do! how can you not like yn, you like yn too right dad?“ yuna of course asked in the platonic sense but that last part caught him off guard—
“when did jeonghan ask that?”
“just after we left earlier!”
seungcheol looked up to the ceiling and thought for a second.
what were the chances that his secretary is interested in you?
it was low honestly, however it was high at the same time! you two have known each other for what, 5 minutes? then again, jeonghan showed interest in returning to the daycare. moreover, he acknowledged someone working there, even asking a 6 year old about them? that meant something, seungcheol would know.
seungcheol continued walking and laughed under his breath. this is fun.
+
ah. how did it turn out like this.
you stood at the reception table almost frozen by the sight.
“yn!” yuna skipped into the building.
“yuna! hello, nice to see you today,” you greeted while taking her bag off her.
you glanced at the man who escorted her and again, his pretty face raised your heartbeat.
you inhaled deeply calming yourself down, “yuna, you can go inside first, i need to take care of something here,” you instructed as you opened the fence door to let her in.
“bye yuna,” jeonghan waved.
she went in and now it was just the two of you.
“hi mr.yoon,” you casually spoke and walked back to the computer at reception to mark yuna present.
“hi yn and please, just call me jeonghan,” he insisted with a kind smile.
you grinned and nodded, “mr.choi’s busy again?”
“yea, it was really sudden,” jeonghan squinted his eyes recalling how he ended up here. he wasn’t expecting to pay a visit today either.
a bit earlier…
“hey jeonghan, i’m so sorry but i’m going to need you to bring yuna to daycare today,” seungcheol informed as his eyes didn’t leave the papers on his desk.
“what?” jeonghan furrowed just eyebrows.
“schedules been busy so i can’t go. yuna’s bag is already prepared i just need you to bring her to daycare and make sure you walk inside with her. is that alright?”
jeonghan cleared his throat, “uhm, yea of course.”
jeonghan didn’t even organise his boss’s schedule to make him that busy. he was actually thinking about starting his plans next week, but somehow, things were in his favour.
“well thanks for bringing yuna, who’s going to pick her up later?”
jeonghan pursed his lips, could be him if he really tried, “i’ll have to get back to you on that.”
“oh alright, i’ll just call mr.choi then—“
“better you just have my number,” he spoke quickly which cut you off.
he struggled to get something from his pocket, “seungcheol been busy so best you contact his trusty secretary first,” he pulled out a mildly crumpled business card in his hand, giving it to you.
he’d been pinching it throughout the ride to the daycare wondering if he should give it to you or not. but he gave it cause what was the big deal? it was for the convenience. it’s not like it meant anything, it’s a business card, it’s for business matters.
“just call the number on the card or email me! but i don’t think i’ll see it until like, next month,” he said as he pointed to parts of the card.
you laughed at his wit and took the card in your hands, “thanks, it’ll definitely be a phone call that’s for sure.”
he laughed at the way you returned his energy, “hope to see you later yn.”
your heart dropped at his words but you didn’t take it to heart, “hope to see you as well?” you said with hesitance.
you two parted ways and he left the daycare with the same smile he had yesterday, only it was wider. there was really something about you that made him want to just grab a chair and talk to you for hours.
meanwhile, you were seated on the old, half-broken reception chair with jeonghan’s business card in your hands. you held back your excitement, gosh you had the number of the boy that kept you up last night.
but reality washed over you too quickly. you sighed and placed the card down, it was only a business number.
but hell did it feel like a step forward.
+
you glanced at the clock. it was almost 6, almost time for yuna to leave.
all of your co workers had clocked out and all the kids but yuna went home.
you were currently reading her a story book but since she skipped nap time, she was starting to doze off. you softly pinched her cheek yet she was still in the same state.
soon 6:30 came, by now seungcheol would’ve sent a message apologising and saying he was on his way, but there was nothing.
was it a sign to call him?
you scratched your head and looked at yuna. she was laying on one of the mattresses to catch up on some energy.
you slowly got up and went to find the business card.
once you found it, you quickly typed it into your phone immediately calling it. as soon as it connected, you placed your phone to your ear,
“beep, the number you have dialled can’t be reached. please try again.”
you furrowed your eyebrows but tried again. this time you even placed his name and added it to your contacts.
“beep, the number you have dialled can’t be reached. please try again.”
well shit.
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754 notes · View notes
mooishbeam · 7 months
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『♡』 General’s Day Off
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♡ featuring: jing yuan x f!reader
♡ summary: the general has been stressed as of late. a day of relaxation is what he needs. wc: 2.8k+
♡ cw/tw: non-sexual nudity, fluff!
notes: whew I've been waiting to do some jing yuan fluff for a while my lil smoochie. the next one is gonna be so long oof but I can't wait. art by ArtRobiins on twitter :) <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated!
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The dozing general hadn’t had a moment of peace since Phantylia’s invasion. The Xianzhou Luofu was still recovering from betrayal, and its people were on edge ever since. Jing Yuan wouldn’t admit his weaknesses, but the welfare of his people weighed on his consciousness greatly. It bled through his ghostly skin and sinking eyebags stretching at the tired corners. The threat of another disruption loomed, and so he obsessively prepared for the untold attack. He busied himself with preventative measures, documents upon documents stacked on his desk. Yanqing had never seen him behave so adamantly, so sure of some eventual calamity. Though his demeanor reflected that of a lazy, carefree man, his heavy heart and soul bore the curse of immense grief. He needed to portray a headstrong and unwavering strength, otherwise the reality of his situation would be too apparent to the Luofu. His close friends were lost to the unpredictable winding ties of fate; he couldn’t stand to mourn another. Especially with you around. 
If you and Yanqing weren’t by his side, he would be undoubtedly consumed by sorrow. Your warm smile on the mild sunrise planted a blossoming light in that dimming core. Patience was a virtue when it came to his stubbornness; you could tell he was unwell, but whenever you voiced your concerns, he aimed to ease your worries with fleeting promises of rest. He would sooner die than see tears in your eyes at his affliction. Bailu was overseeing his recovery, until he proclaimed a sudden influx of health, and steadied his posture as if it was as spry as before. Yanqing attempted to keep him in her care, but he was forced to watch Jing Yuan push himself beyond inherent limitations. 
Mornings on the Luofu are always quiet. It gets hectic during the afternoon, so you take the opportunity to do some calming activities. Jing Yuan was already gone before you woke; he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. You stir the dark bitter substance in your cup and stare out at the endless blue, pondering how you fell in love with such an obdurate man. That is, before you glimpse his half naked body dreaming, shadowed by the snowy curls spilling down his back in your memory. You can’t help but smile. 
You receive a knock at the door, and rush to answer it. These days, news about Jing Yuan and another injury shaded your mind. You open the door, and it’s Yanqing, at attention as if he’s facing the general. 
“Good morning, ma’am, I have something to report” he says, straight and dutiful. You giggle at his professionalism, and a tinge of pink grazes his ears. “It is a good morning. You know you don’t have to be so formal with me, Yanqing.” He drops the soldier-like pose and sighs with a slouch. “I know, ma’am. But I really need to talk to you.” You invite him to come inside, and you both sit at the dining table quietly. You notice him shifting uncomfortably in the chair, a far stare in his contemplation. 
“Did you eat? I can make something.” He cuts back to reality from the broken silence. “Ah! No thank you, I ate already” he stammers. You offer your most welcoming smile. “What would you like to discuss, Yanqing?” 
“It’s...about General Jing. I’m really worried about him. He spends a lot of time working now. I’ve tried to get him to relax once and a while but he’s always up and out the door. I can’t get in contact with him for hours. And he’s so tired! Sometimes when I look over his shoulder, the things he’s writing are nonsense!” You allow him to continue, it seems that Yanqing became more relieved with honesty for each grievance he admitted to. “He struggles to hide it, but I see him grab his side in pain whenever he stands...I don’t know what to do. So, I wanted to tell you.” Your head is propped by your hand, taking in all the information you suspected was occurring. Perhaps you should’ve strapped him to a hospital bed for eternity. You click your tongue in annoyance, Jing Yuan is truly a gorgeous handful. 
“I knew it.” 
“Oh, you did?” 
“A sneaky suspicion, I guess.” 
“I can’t get through to him.” You let out a dejected chuckle. “Me neither. He’s really the worst, stressing us out like this.” Yanqing subconsciously nods his head, fumbling with his thumbs. “I never thought you’d help me go against the general” you tease.  
“N-no! I’m just trying to help him recover, is all!” he splutters, waving his hands over his face. “I’m kidding. I know you care about him. I do, too. I love him more than anything in this universe.”  
Your mind replays every kind gesture; the fresh bouquet of flowers he got you every few days, sharing unending stories that kept you awake at night while you both gazed at the stars, his tendency to be horrible at games that weren’t chess, and the warm hug enveloping you just as you dozed off in his arms. You endured to be strong for him up until this point, but bittersweet longing pierces your thoughts. The truth spills down your cheeks. 
“Oh no, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” 
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. If you’re willing to help, could you do me a favor?” you whisper, wiping the persistent staining tears. Yanqing stands at attention as if he’s accepted a life-or-death mission. “Of course.” 
“Please make sure his schedule is clear tomorrow.” 
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You aren’t sure if your plan will convince him to stay home, but he doesn’t have much of a choice. Unfortunately, he didn’t come home as you expected. You slept intermittently. By the time you woke, the sun was just rising, casting a rose-colored gradient across the sky. Still nowhere to be found. 
Click. The door creaks open. Jing Yuan stealthily moves his hand behind it and tiptoes past the welcome mat. The screech makes him pause briefly, before sliding against the wall to get past the snitching door. Right as he closes it, he whips around, only to see your figure swaddled in a quilt waiting for him on the couch. Too tired to react, he flashes a weak smirk, and sets his scroll on the table. His shirt is wrinkled and turned a dirty beige, most likely from fighting, with the collar undone. Truthfully, he was elated to see you after hardly being home for weeks. You made the blood and bruising worth it—it ensured your life and protection. 
“Oh? What’s this?” You make grabbing motions with both hands, reaching out to him from your spot. “You ordered a general?” he jests. You unfold the plush quilt and beckon him to your embrace. “Mhm. Come here, honey.” Be it lack of sleep or resolve, your body looks too comfortable in this moment, and he falls to temptation. Kicking off his boots, he quickly strides towards you and dives in your arms. He’s extremely heavy, nearly twice your size and probably the fluffiest weighted blanket you’ve ever felt. He melts in your hold. The buckles from his waist prickle your soft flesh, but the vibration of his breath soothing in your ear makes you forget. You rub the firm muscle of his back with one hand, it’s taut and anxious. You untie the red bow and tangle your other hand through the puffs of marshmallows between your fingers.  
“Your delivery is here” he mumbles. 
“Finally, I’ve been waiting for it for sooo long.” 
“My apologies. I got caught up at work.” 
“I’m sure.” You pull his hair back to gaze at his jagged features, those dark ringed orbs filled with amber. “Do you want me to have a heart attack wondering when you’ll come home?” 
“If that were to happen, I’d jump in the coffin right after you, my dear.” You pinch his nose, and he laughs. “However, I must return soon.” His voice sounds flat, defeated. You go back to stroking his hair. “No. You have the day off.” 
“Really? And who arranged that?” 
“Yanqing. He told me about your...reluctance to relax.” Jing Yuan half rolls his eyes, but never moves to leave your warmth. “That boy, he’s nervous over nothing.” You poke his side to test the pain and watch him instantly wince. He sighs deeply at your irritated expression. 
“(Y/N), I can’t just stop over a feeble injury.” 
“You took a spear in the chest, and nearly died. I wouldn't call that a feeble injury.” 
“The Luofu needs me.” 
“I need you.” He surveys your upset expression. Did he ever stop to consider your feelings, how despondent he’d made you from reckless habits? He deemed himself fortunate that you chose to stay. He gently pecks your temple. 
“You’re right. I won’t go anywhere.” Your face lights up, and you wrap your legs around him tighter. “Good, you’ll enjoy yourself. I have something planned.” 
You start preparing your plan, arranging the master bathroom to a calming variety of aromatic trimmings and sheer drapes hanging just above the tub. Jing Yuan didn’t know what constitutes a spa day, and so you briefly described it as a “day of relaxation”. You didn’t want to ruin the whole surprise. When you get back to the living room, you have a pen and paper with scribbles on it. 
“Mr. Yuan?” you say, pretending that his name is somewhere on the unwritten list. He grins and plays along. “Are you here for the spa package?” 
“Yes, I am. I didn’t know the receptionist was so breathtaking” he teases. He always knew how to fluster you. You do some fake calculations and nod to yourself, ignoring the hands wandering on your body. “For everything your total comes out to…3 kisses.”  
Jing Yuan cradles your face with calloused hands. “Hmm, that's quite expensive, but I think I can manage.” Pressing a soft kiss to your awaiting lips that lasts too long between breaths. It feels desperate, like you’ll float away if he lets you go. You part for air and place your finger over his mouth. “Payment accepted. Right this way.” He kisses your finger, and you guide him to the bathroom. You nudge him inside, and immediately the aroma of vanilla and perfumed petals escapes from the steaming shower. It was spotless and arranged similar to an exotic getaway. “Please undress and get comfortable. I’ll join you inside shortly.” He nods and starts undressing. You gather everything you need and head inside. 
He’s sitting on a stool under the rainfall showerhead, scrubbing down his body. The water bounces off his admittedly neglected hair, and he turns so that the heat doesn’t creep into his wound. You hadn’t realized showering was painful for him. You follow him into the shower. “May I?” you ask, motioning for the semi wet loofa in his hand.  
“Be my guest.” His knees support his elbows, and you kneel behind him to massage mild soap into the sudsing loofa. His scars are much more apparent now, healed but carved roughly on the war-torn muscle. You delicately lather the product across and down his mole dotted back, gingerly kisses littering his shoulder blades. You spread the soap to his sternum and stomach, and you feel his tense form caving to your touch. Jing couldn’t recall receiving affection of this caliber, and so it was nice to be pampered, to feel you closer than he’d ever imagined. It was as if you two were the only people existing in this moment, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.  
After he’s properly washed, you expose his skin to the dew and allow it to run down his back, making sure to block the scar from further distress. You stand and grab the shampoo bottle, squirting an ample glob in your palm. You plop it onto his scalp, and begin working it through his thick mane. Your nails massaging and manipulating the sensitive skin makes him nearly drool. It’s as though you’re shaping his brain, and hums of approval rumble up your hands. He leans back on your stomach and enjoys your digits frothing substance. You almost see a ghostly tail wagging violently at each caress. When you pull his bangs back to wipe his hairline, you gaze at his face, a content smile prodding the crinkling corners of his mouth. “Are you falling asleep?” you whisper, washing away the soap from his forehead and roots. He groans in response and snuggles his head under your breasts. The sounds of serene rain beading the floor echoes in the humid foggy space, and the sweet scent of citrus conditioner crowds your nose. You squeeze out the remaining water. His eyes ajar from infinite slumber once your hands leave his cleansed scalp. You turn off the shower and escort him to the tub. An iridescent blue sparkling liquid stills in the marble stone, complete with botanical flora bobbing aimlessly.  
“There’s more? You’re spoiling me.” He soaks in the room temperature tub, unwinding above bath salt gradually dissolving. You undoubtedly added a concerning amount of eucalyptus and lavender to the water, hoping it would miraculously restore him instantly. Positioning the stool behind him, you pull his hair back with a headband and start to mix a face mask in a small wooden bowl. His head lays in your lap, watching you diligently combine cream with medicinal powders and clay.  You brush the blend over his face and neck, cool to the touch. 
“Feels nice.” he breathes. “Doesn’t it? It’s made with-” you go on a passionate tangent about the ingredients included, he simply stares at you, the twinkle in your eyes while you trace his cheekbones. What did I do to deserve someone so kind and selfless, constantly seeking out my well-being and nurture- 
“Are you even listening?” you accuse. He snaps out of the trance, and nods unconvincingly. 
“I was.” 
“What did I say then?” 
“Mm, something something, your beautiful eyes and lips, I want to kiss them.” he drawls. You grunt disapprovingly, and place thin slices of cucumbers over his eyes. “No looking until it's over.” He pouts like an unruly child. You snicker and scoop a chunky clump of brown sugar scrub between your palms, rubbing together to coax warmth. Kneading the grains along his robust biceps and torso in wide circles, you’re sure you heard snoring at some point. Your hands unrolled a dull ache, and you wanted to stop, but his chest heaving deeply in relaxation pushed you to continue. You ladle water over the sugar and face mask, rubbing it dispersed. With a pristine face, you pat serum and moisturizer into the skin and admire the glowing haleness slowly returning. He sits up, freeing his eyes and gazes at you. 
“How do you feel?” 
“I always feel good whenever you’re around, my love” he flirts. You huff and drain the water. “You should dry off. I’m gonna give you a massage.” He steps out the tub to dry but attempts to follow you out of the room. You turn and he’s right behind you, his massive presence covering your silhouette. “Jing, I’m getting stuff ready. Can you wait here?” He says nothing and embraces your nude figure, nuzzled in your hair. You grab his arms, prying room to look up at his hiding face. You’re shocked to see tears brimming in his eyes threatening to overturn. You wipe them as they fall; somehow, he’s still grinning. He couldn’t register why he was crying yet. “Are you okay-” 
“I missed you greatly.” he murmurs. You kiss his nose and pillow his shaking arms and legs. Dispelling the fears and insecurities that strangle him to a gasp. It’s easier to breathe. "I missed you, too.” He picks you up bridal style, and you yelp. 
“Wait, but the massage” you contest. He walks to the bedroom, swaying you without a care in sight. “That won’t be necessary. I just want to hold you.” He lays you on your back and climbs over you. Despite all the space on your king sized bed, he intertwines your bareness with the velvety sheets, and locks you in his arms. His cuddles are cushiony and pure, cocooned like a life-sized teddy bear. You had numerous things planned today—you'd make him dinner, cater to him, watch a movie—now that you’re snuggled cozily, you couldn’t envision leaving this bed. “I didn’t get-” you yawn lengthily “-everything done.” 
“You've done more than enough. It’s time I take care of you.” He kisses your forehead, and your eyelids feel dense as they ultimately come to a close. He wished your eyes would remain open, he wanted to stare into them for as long as possible. “Truly, thank you, (Y/N). I needed this.”  
He listens to your soft breathing, your heartbeat pounding methodically against his. “I love you. So much” you say in trailing hushed tones before drifting to a distant dream. Maybe you’d dream about him, somewhere on a different planet with your children, spending forever together. For now, things are just as they were before.
“I love you more.” 
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cozage · 8 months
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Helloooo! Congratulations on 2k! Every time I see you update my day instantly is made 🥰 I love the way you write and how you portray the characters! For the event prompts (if you’re still accepting!), would it be possible to write how you think Law would propose to his s/o? Thank you for your hard work! 🥰
A/N: Law is my weak point you guys do not understand. Pls enjoy <3 Characters: gn reader x Trafalgar Law Total word count: 660
Proposal
Law would put careful thought into a proposal. He would spend months thinking about any possible situation and how to make it flawless. You are perfect, and you deserve nothing less than a perfect proposal. 
It would get to the point where you might even start to think “is this guy ever going to propose?” because any time you bring up thoughts of marriage or the future, he gets very dodgy. Not because he doesn’t want to marry you, but because he’s afraid you’ve figured out his plans and he’s trying to throw you off his trail. 
You don’t even realize he’s planned it. Everything kind of falls into place randomly in your eyes. Here’s how the day goes:
You arrive at a spring island. Not just any spring island though, an island full of cherry blossoms in full bloom. These islands are rare to come across, and you beg Law to go explore with you. He “reluctantly” agrees.
The two of you grab a picnic basket and stroll off to find the perfect place, and strangely enough, it doesn’t take long! There’s a beautiful isolated spot next to a stream, with cherry blossoms gently cascading all around you whenever the wind blows. “Law!” you cry. “This is perfect! Can we eat here?!” He only smiles. He knew you would pick this spot. That's why he paid people to stay away from it.
The two of you eat and lay around for a while, and then you explore the small little town. 
It has an old bookshop you could spend hours in, and you do. Law doesn’t rush you as you roam the books, and he doesn’t say no to the ones you want to buy. He needed to expand his library, coincidentally. 
The next place you stop is a tea shop, and the two of you sip tea and chat for at least an hour, trying an arrangement of teas to stock up for the ship. Law watches you with amusement, happy to see you in such a good mood and enjoying the island. He picks all of your favorites, knowing you’ll want to remember the flavors of this day for a long time. He will too. 
It’s almost sunset, so the two of you grab little desserts at a bakery and walk up the hill to watch the sun sink behind the cherry blossoms. “I can’t believe there’s nobody else up here,” you whispered. “It’s the perfect place to see the sun go down.” Law just chuckles, and hands you your cake. 
“Today really has been the perfect day,” you said, looking at him with tears in your eyes. “I know sometimes I demand a lot, and I’m sure you would’ve rather been on the ship today. So thank you for exploring with me.”
“Nonsense.” He wiped your tears away and gave you a few soft kisses across your face. “I love spending time with you. You’re the best part of my day, no matter when or where we are.”
You open the box to find a small cake with the words “Will you marry me?” across it, with a beautiful, one-of-a-kind ring in the middle. You’re about to tell Law you got the wrong dessert, but the glimmer of hope and the hint of nervousness makes you realize with sudden clearness that this was all a part of his plan. Everything today was orchestrated by him. 
Now you’re crying for a whole other reason, and you sob out the words “yes, yes, a thousand times yes,” as you hold his face. He’s laughing at you, relieved you said yes, but holding back tears of his own. Because he finally gets to be with you forever. And he gets to have the best part of his day every day for the rest of his life.
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