#I get to see my boy again???? My traumatised scared baby girl??

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

saw “the sunshine court” trending along with “Neil Josten” and I was very confused, checked the tag AND YOURE TELLING ME THERES A NEW ALL FOR THE GAME BOOK??? why did I have no idea about this???

#you’re telling me that my biggest hyperfixation of 2016 and 2017 is back???? #those books singlehandled got me through my life for a bit #and you know what gang I’m gonna level with you #sooo many flaws so many big flaws book #written fanfic that’s so much better written #to be fair though all for the game has some of the best AUs of all time #truly there’s so many insanely good high quality fic in the fandom #that being said #I get to see my boy again???? My traumatised scared baby girl?? #my hyperfixation man deluxe??? #im going to have to read it asap #all for the game #the sunshine court #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #jean moreau

[obeiii-mee]

Hey! Sorry to bother you with a second ask but i thought this one would be cool. Fluffy headcanons of the demon brothers watching scary movies with MC??? Somewhere MC gets scared, and some where they don't? Thanks again!! :)

It’s no bother!! I love getting requests from you guys! The more, the merrier. I sort of hc that the brothers and MC do have movie night every week or so and with them being demons, they tend to levitate towards the horror genre. Thank you for sending this, this is really cute :)))

Without further ado—-

————————————

The Brothers watching Scary movies with MC:

Lucifer:

-Haha mf already knows how this is going to end

-He warned you, he really did

-The horror movies DevilDom has to offer are nothing, and I mean nothing, like the ones from the human world

-I’m not going to go into detail but imagine Two Girls One Cup, in a less kinky and more gorey way (then times that by 10)

-But you were adamant into giving it a go and he literally could not deny you in that moment

-Because you were giving him the puppy eyes

-That’s like, the finishing blow you use every time to get your way with him and as far as you know it’s the only one that works so-

-He expected your reaction to the last second

-You were traumatised for lack of a better word and you were basically watching the whole film through the cracks between your fingers

-Seeing you in that state was like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t stop himself from throwing in a subtle ‘I told you so’

-“I told you watching something like this before bed is a bad idea, MC.”

-He might be a bit condescending and judgemental at first, but he’s probably going to baby you a bit for the rest of the night

-Because he feels bad he allowed you to watch it in the first place

-HAHAHAHA SOFT LUCIFER HAS BEEN SUMMONED, USE HIM WISELY

-He will start muttering words of comfort to you later because he’s certain you’re going to have trouble sleeping

-Because of that one time, he’s very hesitant to let you watch another horror film anytime soon

-But he will relent eventually (especially if you want to watch a human horror film as those are technically less extreme)

-If it makes you happy, he will go through with it, even if he has to let you cling onto him for the rest of the day

-Besides, the way you cuddle into him while you’re watching a horror film is very cute and endearing to him

Mammon:

-Ah yes, the most effective method of waking up the entire House of Lamentation at 3:00 am

-Mammon screaming his own vocal cords out in his room as he tries to get through his human’s favourite horror movie without dying of a heart attack

-It was his idea because he’s definitely the type to go: “Yeah let’s do this, it will be fun. Don’t get too scared alright MC? The Great Mammon will be here to protect ya.”

-And then ten minutes in, he’s basically in your lap

-Half an hour in, he turned himself into a demon burrito with his blankets

-You were enjoying the movie, laughing at the stupid sound effects and poor quality while Mammon next to you has wrapped himself in like two dozen blankets and pillows

-“Mammon you’re going to overheat.”

-“Don’t be silly human, I’m a demon who lives in hell. I can take high temperatures the same way I can take this damn movie!”

-He doesn’t take either of them well

-Mammon and the horror genre don’t mix well together to begin with

-So even if you might enjoy horror, he doesn’t react well to it at all

-And he’ll be low-key relieved if you tell him you guys don’t have to watch any sort of horror film for your date night

-“Well I guess if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to. Can’t make my human do something they’re uncomfortable with eh?”

-But if you do watch a scary movie with him, be sure to show any sort of physical affection to him as often as possible

-You don’t have to say anything, just hold his hand or let him put his head in your lap or something

-It might stop him from screeching like a female sloth in heat

-The last time that happened, his brothers weren’t too pleased with him

-They about to recreate the horror film scenes onto him, bring the popcorn have fun

Levi:

-For some reason, I feel like he doesn’t get scared easily while watching stuff

-I mean, after decades of obsessively watching animes with brutal character deaths (like Attack on Titan style) and grotesque horror games that are pretty nasty even to demons, let alone humans;

-A horror film, from the human world or even DevilDom, doesn’t do much for him

-It will have to have very good psychological horror in it if you want the hairs on his arms to stand up in anticipation

-Tension is a big deal for him and he will immediately shut off the TV if there are any cheap jump scares

-But, if you manage to find just the right thing for him?

-You’ll both be hiding under the bed in no time under the bathtub more like

-Hell, if the film you’re watching is that good, he might even be holding onto you for dear life without realising it and getting flustered about it

-For weeks afterwards, any sound that is remotely similar to one from that movie will probably send both of you into panic

-You came to his room one night because you’ve had a nightmare about the stupid film and legitimately thought there was a fucking demon serial killer in your room

-So you wanted to stay in his

-“But what if there is a serial killer in your room and now you just led it to me MC????”

-It’s all jokes, there’s no question he would lock both of you in his room and then stay there with you wide awake until dawn

-You’re his best friend after all, he would have to be completely heartless to leave you on your own! (Besides Levi is terrifying when he wants to be)

-One time you were sleeping over and the sound of fumbling woke you tf up

-And Levi immediately turned into his demon form, like he was ready to throw hands with this fictional murderer that supposedly sneaked into his room

-“DON’T WORRY MC, I’LL PROTECT YOU!”

-“Ah never mind, it’s just Mammon breaking into your room again to steal your Ruri-Cham figurines and sell them on Akuzon.”

-“Oh OK.”

-“.....”

-“WAIT MAMMON WTF YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG, GET OUT OF MY ROOM-“

-I’m playing Minecraft

Satan:

-Believe it or not, Satan doesn’t care much about horror movies

-Don’t get me wrong, he loves watching his brothers shit their pants out of fear in the middle of one while he silently smirks to himself because watching other people suffer brings him euphoria

-Especially if someone actually manages to find a film that is excellent enough to spook Lucifer, because then he will be cackLING

-But, overall, he watches a lot of shows revolved around drama and crime

-That’s his thing

-However, he won’t turn you down if you’re up to watching a scary movie with him

-Any time spent with you is valuable time seeing as it won’t be long before his brothers start hogging you again like the cockblockers they are

-He is honestly surprised to find out you seem to be rather amused by those sort of movies

-So, even if it’s not inherently something he does on the regular, he would definitely watch a scary film with you if you enjoy them that much

-But in exchange, he makes you promise to read with him until bedtime rolls around (imagine Lucifer having a fucking curfew for his brothers and you lmao)

-So for the rest of night you guys just read together, ya know, like sappy romantics

-Tbh, this man will do almost anything with you as long as both of you are having fun

-He knows it’s not likely, but he insists on sleeping in the same room that night just in case you have nightmares and he needs to comfort you

- :)

-Satan is a gentleman. Idk how many people that don’t play OM expected to hear this

Asmo:

-Why would you want to watch a movie when you could be watching him???

-I mean, you would rather watch all that gory stuff on the TV than his beautiful face?

-He may get salty over a fucking movie tbh

-Horror films aren’t something he generally looks for while trying to pick a movie to watch

-He can definitely handle them better than Mammon but it’s not something he takes great pleasure in watching

-But the first time he ever sits down with you to watch one, he’s very intrigued to see your reactions

-You started feeling the sensation of absolute dread creep in at the very beginning and you were trying your best to act like you weren’t getting affected by what you saw on the screen

-But you were

-You went from “I’m grown ass adult, I can watch a fucking horror movie, no problem.”

-To “Welp, not enough of a grown ass adult for this-“

-And Asmo thought the way you tried to hide your nervousness was very mesmerising in a way

-He was planning on flirting with you during the movie anyway, but now that you were pressing himself against him?

-Oh boy, Oh boy

-“Darling if you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just said so. Making the excuse of watching a movie is unnecessary.”

-Nightmares? What nightmares? You won’t have time to have nightmares ;)

-haHAHA funny inappropriate joke

-It’s Asmo, it’s mandatory to have at least one of those added in here

Beel:

-Beel will show up if there’s food and that’s that

-He doesn’t care what type of movie is playing on the TV as long as he has a bucket of popcorn next to him at all times

-Horror films aren’t something he can’t handle, he’s a demon like the rest of his brothers and he is used to...violent deaths and such

-He doesn’t get scared but there are times where he gets attached to the characters

-Especially movies with actual good and not cringeworthy dialogue

-Therefore, when they die, he gets sad even if they’re just fictional and their death had no real impact

-He also thinks that the way you can watch these things without flinching is impressive

-I mean, he can watch it and so can his brothers because they are demons

-They’ve done worse things than the things you see in horror films

-But you’re a human! So it’s weird to see you watch a person get repeatedly slammed against a wall until their neck snaps without batting an eyelid

-Overall, he does not have an opinion on scary movies

-He gets a bit emotional when a character he really liked dies

-But other than that, he’s just focused on eating

-And occasionally patting your head affectionately

Belphie:

-He doesn’t really like horror films because there’s a lot of screaming and tense music and he’s just trying to nap in your lap (rhyme)

-He doesn’t really need sound effects like that in the background while he’s trying to sleep

-But one day he was like “Hey, what if I show my favourite human this particular scary film?”

-And he did

-And he’s internally dying and feeling guilty and yet so flustered because of you

-It’s like you suddenly turn into this very fidgety and anxious mess and he thinks you just look....cute

-At some point you were getting overwhelmed and sprung up on your feet to turn the lights on

-And he just grabbbed your wrists, pulled you down next to him and let you press your head against his chest

-As mentioned, he’s a little shit and will tease you for being such a scaredy cat

-“That was the most predictable jumpscare and you still flinched, wth is wrong with you lmao.”

-But at the same time....

-“Relax. It’s just a horror movie. You’ll be fine. Besides, I’m here. Like I would let something bad happen to you.”

-That’s sweet, even if the tone of voice may not imply it because he’s such a brat-

-He actually really likes holding you for once, because usually he’s the little spoon

-He’s still a bit of a sadist so I imagine him sitting there and watching this while giggling to himself

-Isn’t he the cutest, laughing at other people’s misery and their never ending suffering?🥺🥺🥺 UwU

-Ah well, at least he has the decency to spoil with affection afterwards and make sure you have no nightmares that night

-You know, as payback for the horrific shit he made you watch with no warning

————————————

OK, I think I made a decent job of this even though it took longer than it actually was meant to. Thank you for reading though. I’ve got so many requests to go through and I’ve been feeling motivated lately so yeah!

See you soon

Al~

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #watching scary movies #obey me shall we date #☂️ demon brothers #⭐️ requests #🌸 comfort #💳 mammon supremacy #I love him I’m sorry

[larentsaloud]

holding myself accountable ie ADHD guide to watching dramas:

korea:

What’s wrong with secretary Kim (three more ep to watch)

LOST 2021 (ONLY THE BEST SHOW TO EVER EXIST???? )

Romance is a bonus book (one more ep to watch)

Just between lovers (actually the writing here is superb. must go back)

Lucky romance (and again I clocked out around the 12th)

She was pretty (yep I waved them goodbye at ep 12)

Memories of Alhambra (almost to the end...almost)

I am not a robot (umm...you guessed it. ep 7 I think)

Coffee Prince (YES MY BABIES. I think I completed this one)

Www search (SO GOOD. the cast the female energy is SPOT ON. did I finish it? no.)

Emergency couple (finished and rewatched!!!!)

I married an anti fan (dropped out ep 12)

Crash landing onto you (I have three more episodes to watch)

Bride of Habaek (love this so much but also spoilers there is a scene in later ep where they do the THING and it took me OUT. did not complete the series.)

Uncontrollably Fond (watched almost to the end, but not finished it for ‘reasons’)

Pinocchio (got half way through) 

Oh my Venus (did not finish, left at penultimate ep)

Squid game (watched 5 ep)

Flower of evil (dropped out at penultimate ep, but amazing series must finish it) 

Meteor garden (half way because I fell in love with the cast if not for that would have stopped sooner)

Boys over flowers (I managed to cram about 16 ep but then angst happened and I needed space)

Secret garden (half way thru)

Mad dog (half way thru)

The king the eternal monarch (three quarters in)

Where the camellia blooms (could not stand it watched two ep)

1% of something (amazing chemistry yes half way in)

Jumping girl (I sort of want to watch it??? first ep)

Hello me! (such good series but I cannot finish iiiittt)

Do you like Brahms (I FINISHED IT I LOVED IT SO MUCH)

Cheese in the trap (I FINISHED IT I HATED IT SO MUCH)

Suspicious partner ( I could not finish it. pray for me)

Healer (same)

K2 (yep)

Crowned clown (you guessed it)

Rookie historian (yeah...)

Home town cha cha cha (dropped out on ep 15 because well. idk)

Dol Sol (I FINISHED IT AND HATED THE ENDING WHY DID YOU DO ME LIKE THAT???)

Devilish joy (I love their chemistry they were incredibleeeeee. did not finish. looked like traumatising ending too scared)

Into the ring (yaaay my fave couple. did not finish it. not enough angst.)

Tale of the nine tailed (too much angst)

My roommate is a Gumiho (ANGST PERSONIFIED)

Vagabond (UGH. need to finish. such good series)

I’ll go to you when the weather is nice (literally love the cinematography but,,)

Doom at your service (ANGST IN YOUR FACE. uff. too perplexing. loved it. best kiss YET.)

Kill me heal me (lmao, I did not finish it because she screamed so much but HIS ACTING)

Mask (oh yeah this is amazing. should see how it pans out. love the actors)

Secret love (I COMPLETED THIS AND THIS SHOW BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEEEESSS ARGH I LOVED IT SO MUCH AKSJSKJSAJKD)

Take of nokdu (IN LOVE. MUST GO BACK)

Marriage not dating (so funny if you want FUN this is it. they are both so yummy. did not get to the ending but would recommend)

Blood (OHHHHH. if only there was less blood)

Descendants of the sun (ok but how can anyone watch this without enrolling to medical school to meet HIM?)

Weight lifting fairy (I love it? I do. I just...yeah)

Korean odyssey (my god. why won't they kiss properly I cannot take it)

Come and hug me (these two own my heart. too much to handle tbh)

Beautiful Kong Min Shi (such an underrated show. yes. but also no)

Masters Sun (please how can anyone like this its so 90s Buffy. I mean I leak Buffy. but also wtf)

Behind your smile (???)

Falling into innocence (YES but then he cut his hair so I left. im fickle)

Abbys (they were lush together amazing plot amazing everything I did not get to the end. little predictable for ADHD. not enough angst. you need the right amount of angst.)

W— two worlds apart (I love them together ok? but I could not get there)

You are my spring (a bit??? dunno)

It’s ok not to be ok (my early K drama! did I finish it? no)

My love from another star 

While you were sleeping (great story I just didn't like their chemistry) 

You are beautiful (ahaha the 2010 hair) 

That winter the wind blows (they are mesmerising together I just have too many feelings about the bro and sis situation help) 

Red sleeve ( I found out about the ending. glad I did not finish it)

Lawless Lawyer (THIS SHOW PLS WATCH IT. I should too. ep7)

Touch your heart (I love them <3 did not finish it)

True beauty (I don't remember???)

My shy boss ( amazing showww, one more ep I think)

Cinderella and four knights (why why why did you not let her end up with the SL. you got it wrong show no.)

Love alarm (FUCK YOU TO THE WRITERS. FUCK OFF. NO. THIS IS WHY I DONT WATCH THE ENDINGS. YOU DO THIS TO ME?????)

You are my destiny (LOVED THE KOREAN VERSION)

Because this is my first life (MY COMFORT SHOW WILL NEVER BE OVER IT)

Don’t dare to dream (the triangle was ridiculous. but the KISSINGGGG)

Run On (should I watch to the end? kinda like it)

Nevertheless (aghsakhjdjakhasjkhsdajhk YES WITH MY WHOLE CHEST I REWATCHED IT ABOUT THOUSAND TIMES ONLY)

Mysterious Love (OH YES. BUT HARD TO COMPLETE might the c drama)

Vincenzo (WELL STILL NOT WATCHED IT TO THE END PRAY FOR ME)

My name (I don't know?)

Itaewon class (oh yeah, I like this but also I don’t?)

Heirs (meh? I was rooting for the wrong characters damn it)

Healer (did not see the ending)

Goblin (could not bring myself to see the ending)

Dali and the cocky prince (meh? ep 8)

Stranger (this show is so goooooooood why did I not watch the second series yettt)

Blood (too much blood)

Crowned clown (oh...yeah)

Navillera (so good if only I can get past ep 8)

When my love blooms (no idea what this was)

Happiness (love love love but also too scared to go back and watch)

Let me be your knight (my fav actor! yes!)

Now we are breaking up (meh)

Madame Antoine (BEST BEST BEST BICKERING ALERT)

Imitation (HER HAIR PLS I WILL CRY.NO)

Love: ft Marriage & divorce (...)

VIP (mom forced me to watch it. did not

Where the stars land (love them <3 will finish this one actually) 

Monthly magazine home (YES great drama will try to get there)

Hotel del luna (currently watching)

Mermaid one with lee min ho (YESSSSSS watched over and over)

Yumi’s cells ( great casting. great story. dropped ep 6)

I have a lover (dear god this show was all the cliches and I actually love to hate it) 

Strong girl (ugh I could not finish this guys)

thai:

Tharn Type (yeah fine I didn't)

2gether (same as above)

Bad Buddy (yep)

You are my sky (aksjhdsakjh)

F4 (I will love this show until the day I die, it will be on my grave) 

bromance (the best gender bender out there)

China

Put your head on my shoulder (??? I literally remember nothing. dropped early)

Falling into your smile (idk. they are so pretty but thousand episodes not something I can do)

Find yourself (hated the second ML. sorry)

Please feel at ease Mr Ling (hmmm, too much like other shows)

My unicorn girl (MY FAV C DRAMA<3)

Love me if you dare (if only I could watch this show. I do love the cast tho)

Across the ocean to see you (lovely show. lemme try to watch again)

To fly with you (YES)

Skate into love (loved) 

Why women love ( currently watching) 

Japan 

My beautiful man (will rewatch forever) 

Case of Incurable Love (almost almost finished it and loved it)

Mischevious Kiss (Tokyo) (ooooh I should finish this its so cute y'all) 

From five to nine (this show is on crack I love it) 

My love mix up (adorable) 

Hana- kimi ( I love gender benderssss)

Coffee and Vanilla ( wtf was this I had question marks the whole time)

#drama rec #but ADHD style #c drama #k drama #thai drama #jap drama #all the drama lol #just a random ramble #holding myself accountable #there are more shows but this is just what I remember #from top of my head like

[biisexualemma]

nervous. oscar diaz

word count: 1255

warnings: just fluff

requested: this is from my mind think i saw a prompt on pinterest “do i make you nervous” or suttin like that i don’t remember

plot: oscar makes the reader nervous

masterlist

you felt two hands touch your waist. you furrowed your brows, quickly turning around to see oscar. he wore a sly smirk, he was up to something. his hand still sat on your waist, pinning you against the kitchen counter. he'd been waiting for you to leave the party so he could catch you alone. you'd been getting a refill on your drink when he approached you.

"you shouldn't sneak up on me like that." you warned, taking a sip out of your cup. he was standing pretty close to you, your heart was pounding.

he raised an eyebrow. "really?"

you hummed. "if you were anyone else i'd kick your ass." you teased, a small smirk on your lips.

you and oscar often teased each other like this. you were good friends. he was cheeky and you loved it. you'd been crushing on him for a while but kept it to yourself, only telling your little brother ruby as he promised to keep it a secret. if oscar liked you back he'd tell you, until then, you wouldn't be telling him anything.

oscar laughed. "you'd kick my ass, huh?" he furrowed his brows, wearing a cheeky smirk. you couldn't stop looking at him, watching his expressions change. he had such an attractive face.

you nodded. "i'm stronger than i look." you laughed, lifting your arms up and tensing your biceps jokingly. oscar laughed, nodding his head.

you pushed him away, creating a bit of space between you two momentarily. but before you could walk away and rejoin the party, oscars hands grabbed your hips again and pulled you back. he pushed you against the counter again to hold you in place. your furrowed your brows, a confused smile on your lips.

"everything ok?" you weren't as confident as before. he'd caught you off guard, he was making you nervous. he still wore a smirk. you didn't know where this was going.

"someone told me i make you nervous." your eyes widened subtly but oscar caught it. you were gonna kill ruby. you knew how scared he was of oscar so it would be no surprise if oscar had forced this information out of him.

"don't believe everything you hear." you teased, crossing your arms over your chest. you were trying to disguise the fact that oscar was making you nervous right now.

"it's not true?" that stupid smirk. you scoffed.

"no." oscar leaned closer. your arms loosened, dropping by your sides, feeling his breath against your face. his eyes scanned over your face. you were pretty sure your cheeks were pink though you were trying to remain calm. if only he knew what he was doing to you. uncontrollably, you leaned forward just enough for him to notice.

embarrassed, you pushed at his chest again, creating space between you again. you averted your eyes from his. he knew more than he was letting on. you made a note to self to murder ruby when you got home later.

"y'sure about that?" you rolled your eyes. he was being mean teasing you about this.

"so what? you make a lot of people nervous, your name is literally spooky. big deal."

oscar nodded, smiling still as you tried to explain your way out of what had become an awkward situation for you now. you looked back up at him, seeing the smile on his face and letting out a laugh. you ran your hand through your hair, a nervous habit you had.

"stop looking at me like that."

"since when am i spooky to you?" he furrowed his brows.

"since you started making me nervous." your suppressed a smile. you were giving right into his game, you knew it. but what did you have to lose? he already knew what he knew.

"you admit it?" you shrugged. he laughed, shaking his head. "that's so stupid."

"come on, oscar, you know why." you nudged his arm, wearing a soft smile. oscar couldn't stop looking at you, how your expression changed. "but it's cool. don't be weirded out. it's just a stupid crush. i'm pretty sure every girl has crushed on you at some point. it'll go away."

you laughed it off, looking at him he wore a smile on his lips as he watched you squirm. he loved having all the power in this conversation.

"you gotta stop looking at me like that if you want this crush to go away though." you teased, poking his chest with your finger.

"who said i want it to go away?" he teased back. you furrowed your brows, laughing dryly.

"what?" you took at step back when he edged closer to you, your back hitting the counter again. your hands gripped the edge of counter when oscar leaned down, his lips practically touching yours. you gasped softly when he finally pressed his lips against yours. his hands on either side of your face, pulling you closer to him as you deepened the kiss. your mind was all over the place. you'd been thinking about this for so long and now it was happening. his lips moved against yours gently at first, but he grew more desperate the more you gave back to him. you wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling his body closer to yours. you had to pull away to catch your breath after a while.

"what was that for?" you were breathless. oscar laughed, stepping back from you to create a bit of space between you.

"i didn't believe it until you said it yourself."

"you like me?" you furrowed your brows, a small smile on your lips. you hit his chest again when you realised what he'd done. "you let me ramble on like that and didn't say anything!"

he laughed. "eres linda."

you mimicked his laugh. this didn't feel like it was happening. you didn't even think you were oscars type, he always went for girls that looked nothing like you. you thought he'd friendzoned you a long time ago. apparently not.

"i can't believe that." you wore a smile still on your lips and so did oscar. you loved it when oscar would smile, it completely changed his face.

"why? mami, you're hot." your mouth hung open.

"i didn't think you even saw me like that." you laughed in disbelief.

"you kidding?" he smirked. he was looking at you like that again, your cheeks flushed pink. "all the homies had their eyes on you. it drove me crazy. i told 'em you were off limits."

you gawked at him, hitting his chest. "oh my god,” he just shrugged, smiling. “no wonder none of the boys say more than two words to me. i thought they hated me.”

"nope," he smiled, he leaned close again. kissing your lips briefly. "told 'em you’re mine."

"you could've said something sooner, pussy." he pushed you away, laughing.

"i had to make sure! i had to ask tu hermano."

you rolled your eyes. "i bet you scared the shit out of him, didn't you?" he shrugged and you laughed. "that poor kids gonna be traumatised if you keep calling on him like that."

"it got me you, so what?"

you smiled. "if only he knew what a softie you really are, huh?"

"am not." he frowned jokingly. you kissed his cheek.

"keep telling yourself you're spooky and then maybe you will be." you teased.

"ey," he faked a small pout. he was so different around you you couldn't believe he was the same guy sometimes. "i'm spooky."

you nodded. "ok, baby."

#oscar diaz #oscar #diaz #oscar diaz imagines #spooky diaz imagines #spooky #spooky diaz #imagines #one shots #on my block #on my block imagines #omb #omb imagines #cesar diaz #cesar diaz imagines #monse finnie #jasmine #jamal turner #ruby martinez

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - drabble

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: fluff + labour

Summary: Y/N goes into labour, Sebastian isn’t here. 

A/N: someone asked me to do extra little chapters for i wanna know what love is and i’m here for it, so here it is 

(gif not mine, credit to creator) 

     - I missed this. - Mary said as she walked into Y/N’s living room. To say that both her and Sebastian had been busy the past months was an understatement, they had been running side to side trying to fix the nursery for the baby’s arrival, renovating the study now that Y/N was gonna start working from home to Sebastian trying to clean up the garage so he could write new songs for the new album with the boys. In the middle of all, she hadn’t found the time to met up with Mary. - How far along are you?

    - Nine months but baby Stan is still not ready to make an entrance into the world. 

    - I can’t believe you and Sebastian didn’t ask for the baby’s gender. It’s torture, Y/N. Torture. - she said patting her friend on the shoulder. It had been Sebastian’s idea not to ask for the baby’s gender, wanting it to be the surprise for when the baby was born. This is was why the baby’s nursery was light yellow along with the baby’s first clothing. There was so much yellow, that Y/N’s dad had nicknamed the baby, lemon. - Do you at least have any names?

   - Sebastian and I have a deal, he gets to name the baby if it’s a girl and I get to name the baby if it’s a boy. 

   - That’s a terrible idea, he probably had slept with so many girls there are no more names available. You might as well go with baby Lemon. - she took a sip of wine, happy she could finally drink. During her pregnancy and then with the baby being born, what Mary missed the most was wine, specially the wine Y/N and Sebastian constantly had at their home due to Y/N’s colleagues and interviewees coming over. - Lemon Stan, what a name.

   - So funny. - Y/N rolled her eyes at her friend. - We got a photo from the last scan, do you wanna see it? 

   - Bring it on. - Mary raised her glass at her friend as she wobbled to the kitchen. Her pregnancy had been a pain, probably the worse time of her life but what she hated the most was how she was wobbling everywhere and how Sebastian would constantly try and hide his laughter whenever she did so. She wanted the baby out as soon as possible but despite it being nine months and two weeks so far the baby seemed to be carefully and calmly waiting to make its entry. She had tried everything from herbal tea, spicy food, heck even sex and the baby did not budge, not even one bit.

Y/N forgot the fact that she was pregnant for two weeks longer than she should and put herself on her tippy toes to reach over for the baby photo album where Sebastian and her  kept all the baby scans so far, feeling all of skin stretch and suddenly something popped. She returned to her natural posture, eyebrows furrowed as she looked around until she felt something drip down her leg. Her eyes immediately lowered to the ground to see fluid start to pool on the ground. 

   - Oh no. - she mumbled to herself, eyes still settled on the fluid on the floor.

   - Y/N, everything alright? - Mary walked into the study once Y/N took a bit too long only to see her looking at the fluid on the ground. - Oh my god, I’m gonna go call a taxi. Do you have any hospital bag? A pillow, maybe?

   - No. - Y/N said, taking a deep breathe in and leaving the study as if her water hadn’t just broke. 

   - That’s alright, we can just grab a few bits while we wait for the taxi. 

   - I’m not having this baby. - she sat back on the coach, arms crossed as she stared at her friend. 

   - Well darling, you are, your water broke, baby’s coming. 

   - I’m not having this baby when Sebastian is not here. No. The baby has been inside me for two weeks more, baby can wait a few hours until Sebastian returns from the recording studio. 

   - Are you fucking insane?! - Mary screamed at her, bolting into her nursery. She had to have something for the hospital, after all it was Y/N, she lived for organisation and labelling so it hadn’t been easy to find a little white bag with a duck on it that had a label saying hospital. She grabbed it and took of to the living room, now finding Y/N holding her bump, a very terrified and pained look on her face. - I got your bag, now we’re gonna go to the lift and to the main floor so we can get you to the hospital.

   - Not without Sebastian. - she groaned at her, another contraction hitting her like a ton of bricks. Suddenly period cramps sounded way better than contractions. Mary rolled her eyes once again, grabbing her by the arm and pushing her up. - I’m not gonna do this without Sebastian, I’m not gonna have the baby without him. 

   - I know you’re scared, honey but we really need to go. How about we just go to the hospital? You don’t need to have the baby right away, people are in labour for hours at the time, Sebastian is not that far. 

   - It’s NY, even five minutes take five hours. - she said, curving her back once again as another contraction hit. 

   - Honey, think of the baby, just get in the taxi. 

Mary somehow got to take her out the penthouse and into the taxi, immediately tapping the driver to start driving before Y/N tried to make an escape. While she struggled with her contractions, Mary managed to send a quick text to Sebastian before returning to try and calm down Y/N which was definitely not working. Once they got into the hospital, she was sat on a wheel chair and rolled to the main entrance before Y/N decided to tell the taxi driver to turn around which she had tried, several times. 

   - Hi, my friend just went into labour Y/L/N-Stan, Y/N. - she told the lady sitting at the desk. 

  - I’m not going into labour, my water ju ... - she interrupted her own self as another contraction hit her. 

  - It’s alright, sweetheart. Baby will come out in no time, no need to worry.

  - I’m not worried, my husband isn’t here so the baby won’t come out. 

  - She’s a bit crazy. - Mary mumbled to the nurse who started to wheel her into a private labor room. Mary had made sure they booked a private room, no matter what, fully knowing what a shared labour waiting room hell she had been in when it was her baby. Once she got there, she was put into a pink hospital gown and placed onto the bed, waiting for the OBGYN to come. - No worries, Y/N. While Sebastian isn’t here, I’ll be your labour buddy.

Y/N whined once again, head thrown back as the contractions came back with a might. Mary looked through her bag, searching for something to help her with her contractions until she came in contact with a TENS machine. 

  - You got a TENS machine? Aw man. - she handed the machine to Y/N who connected it to her bump sighting once the pain lowered a bit. 

  - Sebastian gave it to me when we went for the first scan.

  - Clearly your husband is much more considerate than mine.

  - Mrs Y/L/N-Stan? - her OBGYN knocked on her door. - Seems like baby Stan finally decided to come out. 

  - This baby is not coming out. - Y/N spoke up, glaring at her bump as if expecting her child to stop wanting to escape the confines it had been in for more than expected. 

  - Let’s see shall we? - the doctor placed her feet on the metal bars on each side of the bed, before giving a concerned look to Mary. - You’re up to 10 cm, darling. You’re into labour, already. 

  - No. - Y/N furiously nodded her head no. - It’s a no, it can stay there right? It doesn’t mean the baby is in prime position right?

  - Can I get a baby nurse? - the doctor went to the door and suddenly there were at least two more people into the room and her beloved TENS machine was being removed. Mary held her hand, patting her hair and pushing it out of her face. - Okay, darling. I want you to push now.

  - No. - Y/N buried her face in her pillow. - I don’t wanna do it without, Sebastian.

  - PUSH! - Mary yelled at her but Y/N who glared at her and if she wasn’t in labour, Mary wouldn’t be worried. She kept checking her phone but no messages for Sebastian no nothing. The doctor was about to start lecturing Y/N into why she had to start pushing, Sebastian came bursting into the door, stopping by her bed to regain his breathe. - PUSH NOW!

  - I’m here, baby, I’m here. - Sebastian took Mary’s place, kissing her hand as he shushed her away, not wanting anyone but him and his wife to be present for the birthing of the baby. Y/N looked at him and then at the doctors standing in front of her. 

  - No. - she started to sob. - I don’t wanna have this baby, I don’t want my baby to have a stripper’s name. 

  - What are you talking about? - Sebastian ignored the dirty looks coming from the medical team, combing through his wife’s hair. 

  - You probably only know girl stripper names and I don’t want my baby to be named after a stripper you slept with. 

  - Bunny, I won’t call our baby after a stripper. - he kissed the top of her head, trying once again to ignore the dirty looks from the medical team and making a mental note to tell Mary to stop traumatising his wife. - Don’t you wanna see our baby? 

  - Yeah. - she nodded at him. 

  - Are we gonna push now? - the OBGYN asked and Y/N nodded her head yes, hand strongly wrapped around her husband’s as she stared to push. Everything she could hear were doctors and nurses telling her to push and sometimes Sebastian wincing whenever she held his hand too strongly. Suddenly, all the push screams turned into cries, baby’s cries. She opened her arms to see the nurses placing the baby straight onto her chest and she couldn’t help but start crying. - Congratulations, it’s a boy. 

  - Oh thank god. - Y/N said, hand coming to caress her baby boy’s head as some nurses cleaned him with some white blankets. - He’s not gonna have a stripper name. 

  - Hi Jess. - Sebastian couldn’t help but tear up as the nurses wrapped the baby up in a blanket, handling the little bundle to him. He coed at his son, seeing his little hand coming to grab his finger which made him tear up even more. Suddenly all the wrongs of his life vanished as he held his son for the first time. - He’s perfect, bunny.

  - Let me see him. - Y/N extended her arms to hold her son, looking at his sleepy face that slowly began to open his eyes. He had her eyes, and all she could do was sob at him, at how perfect he was. - You’re so beautiful.

She was rolled onto her bedroom, Sebastian following close by, the hospital bag hanging from his shoulder. It was surreal to finally know he was having a son, to finally not call the baby Lemon, he was here and he was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen. They got settled into their room and Sebastian got to dress his son on his little yellow onesie. It didn’t take long for Mary to come into the bedroom. 

  - Hi. - she said in a low tone, smiling at the new parents. - Let me see my godchild. 

  - Mary, meet Jess. - Sebastian said, taking a seat in the bed next to his wife, his son wrapped in his little ducky blanket. The woman smiled in joy, looking at the baby on Sebastian’s arms. - I can’t believe you told Y/N I was gonna name the baby after a stripper. 

  - Aw, shut up. Look at how cute your kid is. 

  - It’s all Y/N. - he kissed the top of her head, passing on the bundle to her who slightly hugged him towards her chest. - Look at that, we made a hot baby.

  - Seb. - she slightly hit him in the arm. - Let’s not call our baby hot. 

  - Can’t do, Y/N. That baby is just gonna break too many heart, I mean with your looks, your brains and my jokes. We made a heartthrob. 

  - Your jokes aren’t that good. 

  - Mummy is just trying to hurt daddy’s feelings now. - he coed at the baby, baby talking for the first time. 

  - I love you, Seb. Thank you. - she leaned her head against his arm, eyes darting to see her son. - Just out of curiosity, what would have you named the baby if he had been a girl?

  - Marion. After Robin Hood’s Marion. 

  - That’s very pretty, Seb. - she kissed his cheek. - Look at that, we made him. This is our baby, you’re a dad.

  - God, who allowed me to be a dad? - he chuckled. - You’re gonna be a great mum. 

  - You’re gonna be a great dad.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan fanfic

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

In relation to an ask I got about Julian Bashir:

this ask I got has ideas about Julian essentially being forced through gender related surgery in connection with his augmentation.

So for starters, I’m not intersex, so I won’t try to go into details, just noting that this obviously brings to mind bullshit that intersex people have to go through and so that thinking will be laced through the text!

under the cut for length, no details about igm, but obviously if the idea is distressing don’t read - kind of meta that dovetails into a sort-of fic:

I wonder if the show had decided to do something like that, what would have inspired it/would they have realised that this is very much not a scifi concept even by a lot of their “this is the loosest of allegories you could allegory” standards.

The show does have a habit of doing things that makes me go “hey, wait, wha- was that… with awareness?” Ex. Soren in TNG self-identifying as a woman, everything Trill-related in the 90s, or even Quark getting easy reassignment surgery (disclaimer: always am torn on being like “yay, I guess no waiting lists for trans people ever again + the argument of “regret” clearly can’t exist any more + this a world where people… accept???” and… what it actually is. Which is a “women vs men” sexist as hell joke.)

I spoke about gender there, not because I’m equating, just because it’s stuff related to myself as an enby that I clung to. But also because if surgery isn’t a big-deal in the future then perhaps gender isn’t either? Which obviously isn’t true, because Star Trek mirrors the reality of the world it’s actually made in and makes abundantly clear that things’re still inherently gendered (moreso in some places than others).

So we ask why they might want to do something like this:

1. There are still biases against having a girl vs having a boy on an institutional level around the federation

2. They personally just can’t stop messing with Julian, maybe they had their heart set on “a boy” in the same way they wanted him to be “smarter” and “taller” etc. And they just suck (they do)

3. Julian is intersex and this is not an allegory at all even a little bit

Even if it was an allegory, it’d still be a pretty direct one, but just wanted to let you know how my brain is considering all of this, because I’ve never thought about it like that before, as my hcs about Julian were always that he chose any of the surgery he got in relation to his gender as a reclamation of his body (which he might still have made decisions about when he could, but for now gonna try and not tangent too much)

so let’s assume that you can’t just get a any kind of reassignment surgery and it’s just that ds9 is so far on the edge of the federation that general checks and balances in relation to “hey lets turn our friendly neighbourhood Ferengi into a woman” don’t exist out there like they do closer to earth.

And Julian personally is really fucking good at this surgery – why? Maybe because he’s made it part of his goal to know as much as possible about it, since it was done to him without his consent as a child.

Maybe what they did was “sort out” more obvious markers – anything on the outside of his body basically, and they left the womb, because nobody would notice that, which would make Julian saying he had one a slip-up up in that episode with Kira getting the O’Briens baby.

At the time people don’t know he’s an augment, so he probably wouldn’t be wanting to run around and have anyone ask him questions about surgeries that aren’t on his record – luckily nobody does.

In some ways this violation is the one he’s the most traumatised about to the extent that he can’t even speak about it to his parents, barring the one piece of selfhood he’s defiantly demanded: “I’m Julian, goddamit!”

They know why – of course they know. But like so much else they don’t talk about, they somehow seem to assume that not speaking makes it forgivable, invisible, erasable. It’s not.

After he’s been outed, once he has started interacting with the other augments, there’s a lot that he holds back – he’s not like them after all, not really. And to admit kinship is to open doors he’s been so afraid of opening for so long, that fear might as well be his truest expression of self.

It’s not until after the Dominion War, after deaths, imprisonment, torture, being outed and seeing others like him ostracised, mental health issues and a failed relationship with Ezri – not until after all that does he reach out to Sarina again, ask for forgiveness for trying to make her – and by extension himself – “normal.”

It’s not until then he can slowly begin to unpack everything about himself that he’s kept back, for fear it’d prove others right - - how he doesn’t feel entirely like a real person, just a collection of parts that were forced upon him, how he’s scared about what being proud of any bit of himself might be taken as, how he let down Sarina and the others - - and what his parents “threw in” to sweeten the deal.

And Sarina admits to him: she has the same fears, the same self-doubt, the same sadness. She asks Julian about preferred pronouns, about how he thinks of himself, about whether there’s anything he would want to do to own himself more…

For now, just the talking is good. And maybe they can meet up with the others again soon, this time without shame. 

#julian bashir #ds9 #st: ds9 #star trek #star trek meta #julian bashir meta #ds9 meta #my writing #possibly intersex julian #i might go more into detail about things later on for now these are my first musings #tw allusions to igm

[thecringefailintherye]

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man 

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam 

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING 

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised 

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 

this film.. 

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

#oliver! #oliver twist #oliver #oliver! 1968 #oliver 1968 #charlie’s comfort movies #oliver twist 1968 #oliver! the musical #oliver the musical #musicals #1960s #1960s movies #60s #mark lester #jack wild #oliver reed #ron moody #shani wallis #and everyone else in the huge ass cast

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

#Christine Baranski #Christmas On The Square #dolly parton #shitty movie reviews by yours truly

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

#ok i wrote some if this on the tube/on the bus/at the dentist/in bed so if this seems like it’s all over the place #that’s bc i was literally all over the place skshg #*of #also i love how you used tags skajahsg #lovely anon #<3 #sorry if some of the sentences didn‘t make sense or were too fucking long i wrote half of this half asleep #and i know i dont have to apologise but still like no one should have to read all my page long sentences that arent even proper sentencesskk

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

Alive | Bucky x Steve x Reader (Angst, Fluff)

Category: Angst, Fluff (Suggested) Age: 15+ Trigger Warnings: Gun violence, panic attack Ship: Bucky x Steve x Reader Summary: Reader Has A Traumatic Nightmare Request: N/A Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 2,222

---

“Welcome to the party, sweetheart.” The man she’s never seen before greets.

“Don’t call me that.” (Y/N) shivers, being led down the corridor of her unknown location.

“I thought we were friends?” He mocks.

“No. I’m here because you said you have something that could help me save the world.”

His laugh echoes down the metallic hallway.

“I do.”

“Then what is it?” She asks, demanding an answer as the gentleman opens two double doors. He stands still, looking at her.

In front of her, through the doorway, is a huge glass balcony.

“Go. Have a look.” His voice sounds genuine.

“You’ll regret it if you hurt me.” (Y/N) warns. The man merely shrugs.

“I won’t hurt you.”

She furrows her brows but looks back at the balcony.

“It’s on the ground below.” He explains. The woman nods and takes small, tentative steps toward the edge, analysing her surroundings.

Nothing seems dodgy. There’s nobody else around and no guns or anything that could threaten her, but then she looks down and her eyes widen and jaw drops.

“What?” She breathes.

“Something to help you save the world.” The man grins, now standing beside her as he too looks down.

On the ground below are two chairs. On one sits the dirty-blond man known as Steve Rogers and on the other sits the brunet known as James Barnes.

“No…” Her voice is scared. Confused. “STEVIE! BUCKY!” She screams.

The cry prompts both men to snap their heads up. Both of them were awake but have been locked down like this, opposite each other, for about three days now, but they know that cry. They know it anywhere.

The pair both look up and widen their eyes at the sight of their girl, looking down at them with a traumatised expression, but what scares them is how close she is to that man.

“(Y/N), what the hell are you doing here?!” Steve yells.

The girl’s lips tremble as she attempts to speak.

“What happened?” She whimpers, noticing the dried blood, scratches and bruises that litter her boys’ faces.

“We’re fine, (Y/N), but what are you doing here?” Bucky responds, noticing the fear and concern swirling in her eyes at their state.

Even from his distance, he knows his girlfriend’s expressions.

“He said- He- He told me he knew- He had the-“

“What the fuck did you do, Rumlow?!” Steve’s voice holds venom but also fear, and the Hydra infiltrate knows that.

“I told the girl that I had something that could help her save the world… I wasn’t exactly wrong, was I?” The man responds, rhetorically. His laugh is menacing.

(Y/N) gulps, feeling tears in her eyes.

“Now, since I’ve brought you to a couple of options that could help you save the world,” Rumlow begins, shoving a gun into the woman’s hands. “Pick one and kill the other or I’ll destroy the whole world myself.”

Just when she thought her eyes couldn’t widen any further, they do. Her whole body is trembling. Her tears are falling. Her mouth is trying to form words that she doesn’t know how to say.

Bucky and Steve are both petrified.

“You have sixty seconds to choose one of them.” He tells her, following by a loud ticking noise.

(Y/N) can’t even breathe properly anymore. Her heart is racing. She’s taken on all kinds of aliens, gods, kings and queens, but she can’t handle this. No amount of training from her lovers or knowledge from Tony and Bruce could’ve prepared her for this.

The men both glance at each other for a moment before coming to - what they thought - was a mutual agreement.

“Kill me.” They both say at the exact same time before narrowing their eyes at one another.

“Steve, she needs you more than me. You’re needed in this world more than me. You’re Captain God-damn America!” Bucky hisses.

“Shut the fuck up, Bucky. This isn’t about the fucking world anymore, this is about our girl. She needs you, you’re her anchor. You keep her safe and have never failed.” Steve retorts.

“What about now then, Steve? What about right now?” James’ voice falls down to broken and scared instead of confident.

“Buck…” Captain murmurs, sighing as he understands his lover’s pain.

Meanwhile, Rumlow is now stood directly behind the woman who still hasn’t dared move.

“Three, two, one.” He mumbles, suddenly wrapping his arm around the girl, holding a knife to her throat, whilst kicking the glass balcony with his foot. The shatter knocks both men on the ground out of their entrance and they look up, luckily being too far away from the fall of glass.

“(Y/N)!” They both yell.

“Took too long, so now I choose who dies, and I choose both.” The man growls, promptly followed by multiple gunshots going off.

(Y/N) screams as she watches multiple bullets go through her boyfriends’ bodies.

“STEVIE! BUCKY!” She cries out, yanking herself out of Rumlow’s grasp, not caring about the cut on her neck, nor about the fact that she’s falling down onto the ground.

The woman’s body jolts upright, gasping on air she can’t get enough of. Eyes wide and chest heaving. Her body is trembling and she can’t analyse her surroundings as tears stream uncontrollably.

Her head jolts either side where her lovers would usually lay but they’re not there. There’s not even a trace that says they were ever there.

No, no, no, no, no, they can’t be?!

She clambers out of bed, hoping to get to the door of their room but she doesn’t get far at all, her legs fail her and she leans back against the wall.

“Miss (L/N), I am receiving signs of distress coming from you. You’re showing multiple symptoms of a panic attack. Would you like me to contact Sergeant Barnes or Captain Rogers?” JARVIS speaks up. The words would calm her - knowing her lovers are here somewhere - if her mind wasn’t elsewhere.

“Both. Please both.” Her broken voice whimpers, sliding down the wall until she hits the floor.

The sound of JARVIS speaking scares both men to death as they were chatting in the kitchen.

“Apologies, gentlemen, I did not mean to startle you.” The AI speaks. Bucky chuckles and shakes his head.

“It’s fine. What’s up? It’s like,” The ex-winter soldier pauses to check the time on the microwave. “Four AM.”

“Miss (L/N) has requested that I summon both of you. She is showing signs of severe distress and symptoms of a serious panic attack in your room.”

Both mens’ eyes widen and within a second they’re sprinting up to their shared room. The door bursts open and their heart breaks at the sight.

“(Y/N), baby,” Steve begins, striding toward her.

It’s once he’s in front of her, crouching, that he can properly hear her choking on air she can’t properly inhale.

“Hey, hey, hey, (Y/N), sweetheart, look at me.” The Captain coos, reaching his hands out for her own and moving them away from her face, holding his own hands on either cheek. “I’m here, (Y/N), you’re okay.”

(Y/N)’s eyes frantically search around for the contact on her skin but she calms slightly when she meets those blue eyes.

“Stevie,” Her strained voice whimpers.

“Yeah, I’ve got you, darlin’.” Steve murmurs, stroking her cheek.

The woman basks in the comfort for a second before her eyes widen again.

“Bucky? Where’s Bucky?!”

“Here, I’m here, doll. It’s okay.” The brunet speaks up, crouching down beside Steve and reaching her for her face. Cap removes one of his hands from her face so James can rest his there. “We’re both right here, (Y/N).”

Her breathing is still erratic but as she continues to flick her gaze between her two boyfriends, reassuring herself that they’re there. They’re okay. Alive.

“You’re here.” She whimpers. “You’re alive, you’re- God, you’re safe.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, sweetheart.” Steve continues to soothe, stroking the tears that streak her face as Bucky does the same thing. Both of their hearts shattering at the sight of their girl’s distress.

“We’re alive, we’re safe, we’re breathing and we don’t have a scratch on our body, doll.” James whispers, allowing his girlfriend to search his face for any sign of a lie. “We’ve got you.”

The men continue to give her words of encouragement and love for around ten minutes when she calms down properly.

“Five things you can see, pretty girl.” The blond requests.

(Y/N) gulps and allows her eyes to flicker around.

“Bucky,” She begins, both of them nodding. “Stevie, the bed, the door, the closet.”

“That’s our girl.” Steve smiles.

“Four things you can feel, doll.” Bucky prompts. She swallows again, nodding her head as she continues to calm down.

“Stevie’s hand stroking my cheek, Bucky’s hand stroking my other cheek, my heart beating and the carpet.” She answers, managing a smile as she manages to list four things.

“You’re doing amazing, (Y/N).”

“Three things you can hear.” Steve begins again.

“The rain outside, the music coming from Wanda’s room and my own voice.”

Both men can’t but smile as they watch her come back to them, mentally.

“You’re our strong girl.”

“Indeed you are.” Bucky agrees. “Two things you can smell?”

(Y/N) closes her eyes and leans back against the wall and a faint smile appears on her lips.

“Buck’s aftershave,” She smiles even wider. The men know how much she loves their cologne. “And the rain.”

Steve chuckles at her answer.

“Don’t you dare tell me rain doesn’t have a smell, Rogers.” She beats him to the chase before he can even argue.

“Gimme one thing you can taste, (Y/N).” The Captain opts for instead, but before she can open her eyes in confusion at his request - as she currently can’t taste anything - he leans forwards and presses his lips to hers.

The girl smiles into the kiss.

“Stevie.” Her voice whispers.

“Good girl.”

They remain in a comfortable silence, both of the mens’ hands now holding one of her own, before Bucky speaks up again.

“Wanna tell us what happened, doll?” He questions, his voice not at all demanding. He and Steve both completely understand if she doesn’t want to talk about it but the trio always tell each other everything.

(Y/N) opens her eyes and glances at Bucky and then Steve, both of them giving her the most loving gaze anyone ever could.

“I had a nightmare…” She whispers, both men furrowing their brows.

Their girl never has nightmares. She’s always been the one who helps them when they have their own, but she never has them.

“What about?” Steve asks, voice still gentle. Tentative.

“Rumlow.”

Bucky tenses noticeably at her words and so Steve reaches his spare hand out to hold his own metal one.

“What happened, darl’?” The blond prompts.

(Y/N) looks down at her lap and swallows. Hard.

“He told me he had something that could save the world.” She pauses. “It was you two. You were tied up on on the floor below me. I was on some sort of balcony and he gave me a gun, told me I had to kill one of you and the other would be safe.”

The girl feels her tears coming back as she remembers the scene all-too-well.

“Hey,” Steve whispers, catching her attention.

“We’re safe, doll. Forever and always.” Bucky finishes. (Y/N) nods.

“I didn’t choose. I couldn’t choose, so he held a knife to my throat…”

James’ own breathing is heavier now, hating the thought of Hydra getting their hands on his girl.

“Buck, (Y/N),” Steve begins, catching both of their attention. “I would never let anyone hurt either of you; you know that, right?”

The pair nod.

“I’m never leaving either of you - it’s my life-long oath. I can do a lot in this world - win, lose, fight, cry, love and laugh, all of that shit - but I will always come back to you or make sure you come back to me.”

They nod again, mostly in agreement.

“What happened, (Y/N)?” Captain prompts.

“They killed you both in front of me anyway.” She whispers, closing her eyes as she tries to remove the image from her mind. “It was so vivid. There was so much blood.”

She’s suddenly smothered by the two men as they embrace her from either side.

“Doll, we’ll never leave you, alright? We will never let you be alone.” Bucky mutters, pressing kisses to the side of her head and Steve replicates the actions on the other side.

“Won’t let anything happen to me, you or Buck, alright?” Steve adds, voice holding promise. “Let’s get you to bed, sweetheart. Buck and I will stay with you.” He suggests, the pair nodding.

Bucky wraps the girl up in a bridal carry as they head over to their large bed that can comfortably hold three of them.

“We love you, doll.” The brunet utters, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her lips which she gratefully accepts.

“I love you too, Buck.” (Y/N) smiles before turning her head. “You too, Stevie.”

The blond presses a quick kiss to her lips and smiles before kissing her forehead.

“I love you too, sweetheart. You too, Buck.”

“Til the end of the line.” James says, eyes closed with a smile resting on his face.

#Marvel #Avengers #Winter Soldier #The First Avenger #Captain America #Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Barnes #James Barnes #James #Bucky #Steven Grant Rogers #Steve Rogers #Steve #Rogers #Barnes #Stevie #MC #Reader #Y/N #Imagines #Headcanon #Preferences #Love #Romance #Nightmares #Steve x Bucky #Stucky x Reader #Stucky #Steve x Bucky x Reader #Bucky x Steve

[imaginesmai]

Embarrasing moment with their child

This was requested by an anonymous, I hope you like it! I know you said embarrasing stories about puberty, but some of them are about sex with toddlers. 

Jax

-          You were out doing Christmas shopping when it happened, and Jax wished in that moment that he would have said yes to that torture.

-          “Daddy? I’ve got blood on my panties!”

-          Jax runs towards the bathroom, throwing a few things in the way. Because he thought that your daughter had a wound.

-          Turns out she doesn’t.

-          When he opens the door, he finds his daughter holding her bloodied panties to his face, while sitting in the toilet with her face red and eyes filled with shame.

-          Two minutes of silence awkwardness.

-          Jax looks between the panties and his daughter.

-          It’s a miracle that he doesn’t faint.

-          Carefully, he takes the panties away from his daughter and, gagging, he takes them to the laundry machine.

-          Stumble a few times in the corridor? Yes. And Jax can’t look at them.

-          He sits in the couch like nothing has happened, and forgets about his daughter in the bathroom.

-          “Dad? I’m still bleeding.”

-          Goes back to the bathroom and tries to sit casually on the bathtub. Slips, but if you ask him it didn’t happen.

-          Your daughter now has tears in her eyes and asks Jax why is she bleeding. Is not that you didn’t want to talk about it, but you just didn’t find the time.

-          “When… a girl like you becomes a…big girl, you know what happens”. A confused blink from you daughter. “Women, you know, do that each month.” She’s not scared anymore, wonders what the fuck has her daddy smoked.

-          “A thing does pop down there and you, boom, there” What the fuck, Jax.

-          Two more tries before he calls her mom nearly crying and begs her to explain it to her.

-          After she does, he looks in the cabinets for your products. Finds pads and tampons.

-          Your daughter takes the pad while he open the little tampon; doesn’t know what it is and it fires to his eye.

-          You come home and find Jax with a swollen eye and a pad stick in his beard and your daughter with one of Abel’s diaper.

-          Christmas gift? A guide about how to put correctly pads.

-          He tries his best, don’t blame him.

Opie

-          Opie and you have a little boy, and adorable little boy who stopped talking a few weeks ago.

-          You didn’t know what to do, and you had to travel soon; you left that weekend Opie alone with his son.

-          Doesn’t go well.

-          Because it’s Friday night and your son is wrapped around Opie’s big arms when he pops the question that has been bothering him for a while.

-          “Daddy, I think that it’s time to say goodbye. I’m going to die soon.” He says with a straight face, and Opie feels that his heart is pierced in a million pieces.

-          Where does it hurts, what happen, has someone hurt you…

-          “No, daddy. But a piece of my boy has fallen off.” What.

-          Opie stares at your son as he gets up and lower his pants, showing his dad his… thing down there.

-          “You see, daddy? It’s hanging. But it’s okay, I’m not going to miss you because I can call you from the death” Your son says with tears in his eyes.

-          Poor Opie doesn’t know what to do. At first, he wants to laugh at your son question about his dick. Then, he wants to cry because his son really thought that he was going to die. And finally, he wants to dig himself in a pit and to die there.

-          Because now he has to explain him what is it and why it isn’t bad.

-          “That’s…not bad, you’re not dying buddy. That’s a penis”

-          “But mommy doesn’t have one!” Sobs are shaking his body. When did he saw you fucking naked?

-          By then, Opie’s mouth was twitching nervously and his face a hot tomato.

-          He tries to explain him how having a penis is something normal for boys, and that he needs it because he pee like that. Also, it’s something delicate that he can’t touch.

-          Feared question arrives.

-          “So do you have one, daddy?”

-          Ten minutes later, you open the door. You’ve cancelled the travel since you were worried about your son, but you regretted it.

-          In the living room, both of your boys had their pants down with their dicks out. Your son, laughing with dried tears in his eyes. Your husband, with a crazy smile on his face. And both of them shaking their “things” and calling them crazy cucumber.

-          Didn’t sign for this. SAMCRO means danger, not having your old man showing his dick to your son.

Chibs

-          You have a precious son who is smarter than what he should be.

-          Chibs loves him with all his heart, and feels like the luckiest man alive. Even if sometimes he wishes that he wouldn’t be that smart.

-          You’re out because your mom is sick and you have to take care of her, so Chibs is staying with his little boy all day.

-          Has breakfast ready, TV on and a whole day planned for the both of them before his son wakes up.

-          When he does, he enters the kitchen serious and with tears in his eyes.

-          Eats his breakfast in silence and doesn’t look to his father; when he finish, Chibs can’t say anything before your son leaves and close the door.

-          Chibs busy himself cleaning the kitchen, and then goes to the boy’s room to see what’s the matter.

-          Open the door to find him with a backpack and a hard face, trying to keep his tears at bay.

-          “You don’t have to say anything, Daddy. I understand”. Understand what. “I hope she is better than me.”

-          He has to physically hold your son while he explains him what’s the matter.

-          Chibs hearts break at his sadness, but when he discovers the reason he wishes to die.

-          Turns out, you guys had a little crazy night on bed last night. And Chibs loves to be called daddy and to call you baby girl.

-          Your son heard it and thinks that you have another child hiding in your room, and that you play with her when he’s not around. Because you love her more.

-          That’s awkward.

-          “Mommy and me, were just playing around, boy! We, you know, like to pretend we are different people.” That was close, he smirks.

-          “But why were you pretending to be a horse? I heard you asking mommy to ride you! She gets mad when we do it, why can you be her horse and not mine, daddy?”

-          Start as a little laugh, and soon Chibs is laughed hysterically looking anywhere but his son.

-          He’ll have to talk to you about that later. If he wants to keep your son pure, he’ll have to be his horse for a while.

-          After that, he looks with his son everywhere in the house, making sure there isn’t a hidden daughter anywhere.

-          Your son hugging you when you come back. “I’m glad you don’t have a daughter, mommy. Can I ride daddy with you tonight?”

-          What.

Tig

-          “Dad?”

-          “Yes baby girl”

-          “Are my tits small or big?”

-          Maybe raising your daughter into talking to him about everything wasn’t the right thing to do.

-          You’re all sitting in the living room; Tig with a newspaper, you reading a book and your daughter watching TV. Or now, looking down at her breasts.

-          Looks at her with his mouth wide open and tries to say something a few times, only to make a high-pitched sound and look at you for help.

-          When you open your mouth, your daughter talks again.

-          “No, I want dad to answer it. He doesn’t have tits”

-          Tears are leaving your eyes from trying so hard not to laugh at your husband’s desperate face.

-          You get up and leave to the kitchen, saying something about making dinner. Tig rise his arms to say something, but nothing gets out of his mouth.

-          Your daughter’s eyes are burning his face.

-          Turns slowly to meet her, only to find her closer than before.

-          “So? Are my tits small or big?”

-          Sad laugh.

-          “They’re perfect, baby girl. You’re gorgeous” Mentally high-fives himself because, wow, that’s the smartest answer he have ever given.

-          That’s not the answer she was looking for. Kind of upset because she thinks that they are small.

-          She thinks that he doesn’t answer because her father doesn’t want to tell her that they are small.

-          They are normal. Average. Good placed. Right. Cool. Tig demonstrates her that he knows a lot of synonyms for good.

-          Finally, after asking it in a repetitive way and threatening of pulling one of her breasts out, he shouts that they are big.

-          Happy baby girls smiles and sits back to watch the TV. Not caring about having traumatised his dad for life.

-          Someone get him out of the couch. He can’t move. Can’t breathe. Just look at you with terror in his face.

Juice

-          Juice and you have a teenager son. A healthy boy who is handsome and tall, and sometimes as awkward as his father.

-          Your son has always wanted to travel in his bike, so for his fourteen birthday, Juice took him to a four days trip.

-          Wanting it to be just a daddy-buddy time, you stayed at home with your daughter, who just turned nine.

-          The trip was amazing, and the best part of it was the lunch of the second day.

-          They met a very cute girl who kept looking at your son until he was red as a tomato, and Juice only teased him more. Bad idea, he discovered later.

-          When they woke up the third day, your son sat in the bed of the motel for a while until his father got worried and sat with him.

-          He shouldn’t have. Or he should, but it lead to an embarrassing situation.

-          “Dad, I…have wet the bed” he doesn’t met his eyes.

-          “It doesn’t matter, buddy! Sometimes, I wet the bed to and your-“ “No, dad. Like, you know a wet dream”

-          Oh. That’s, oh.

-          Doesn’t want to but asks anyway.

-          It’s the worst moment of their lives, for both of them. His son tells him about the girl at the bar. And Juice tells him that it’s normal.

-          But gets up from the bed a little too quickly. The rest of the day is normal until the night.

-          Yes, it happens again.

-          And this time, Juice tries to help your son with shitty horrendous and useless advice of dating.

-          Makes your son fall in front of the girl. “Sorry, it seems that I´ve fallen for you.”

-          Doesn’t get the girl, but at least Juice knows that they will never go away without you again.

-          Or at least, he won’t tease your boy ever again.

Happy

-          “Daddy, look! I’m a unicorn!”

-          Happy cute and prideful smile disappears as soon as he sees your daughter.

-          Wearing a condom in her head, she blows with her eyes closed and the top of it inflates until it seems a unicorn.

-          Takes it away from her and throws it to the bin, then put your daughter head under the water until her hair is dripping.

-          “I knew you would get mad! You hate unicorns and you hate me!”

-          He has two options; one, he lets his baby girl hate him forever or two, he calls you and ask for help.

-          Second option is a bad idea as you’re in the hairdressing and you don’t answer your phone.

-          First option is out because he loves her too much.

-          So he has to talk to her. Good. He has it.

-          Your daughter is in her room crying in her unicorns’ bed hugging his unicorn teddy and listening to my little pony songs.

-          Happy sits down with her and takes a deep breath. Because it’s going to be hard.

-          “Baby girl, I don’t hate unicorns. You were just using something…dangerous”

-          His daughter has his scary face too, and keeps looking at him for a while until Happy starts to feel kind of threatened.

-          When she does something bad, she gets a punishment. It’s fair for her daddy to do so.

-          “Okay, then you put the magic helmet and you are now my unicorn”

-          No one told him that parenthood would be that hard.

-          He can kill with his eyes closed, take a man’s guts out with his own hands, tattoo himself everytime he kills. Putting a condom on his head it’s something new. And gross.

-          But torture doesn’t end there. Your daughter finds your “special box”.

-          When you come home, you find your huge and dangerous boyfriend with your daughter in his back, using your vibrator as a “whip” for her new unicorn, who is wearing a condom as a hat.

-          Isn’t that the rope he tied you with last night? Yes, and it’s hanging from his pants like a tail.

-          It’s easier to kill people than to explain to your little girl what a condom is, isn’t it.

#soa #soa imagine #soa one shot #soa x reader #soa preferences #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy x reader #sons of anarchy one shot #sons of anarchy preferences #sons of anarchy #jax teller #jax imagine #opie winston #opie imagine #juice #juice imagine #chibs #chibs imagine #tig #tig imagine #happy lowman #happy imagine #jax x reader #opie x reader #chibs x reader #juice x reader #happy x reader #tig x reader #imaginemai #preferences

[gold-from-straw]

Backstage of the Universe

Erik left Charles half crushed by a stadium - Charles wasn't exactly expecting to see him again after that. He certainly wasn't expecting him to sneak into his bedroom only a few weeks later, trailing seven not-quite-mutant, not-quite-human children and a young man in a coma. Against Hank and Raven's wishes, he takes the lot of them in, but he's damned if Erik's just going to walk out again and leave him with a group of traumatised children. Anyway, Bart in particular seems to have become attached to him.

But Blackwing seems to have been more than just another shadowy government research facility torturing small children. Because when Charles and Erik try to stop the children from carrying out the Universe's instructions, the Universe might just start to think they're better off with Mr Priest...

The Cherik-Dirk Gently Crossover you never knew you wanted, featuring post-DoFP Cherik, hurt/comfort, lots of PTSD from everyone, and sweet baby Blackwing children (timelines? What timelines?) 

Read on AO3 if you prefer!

Charles opened feverish eyes to a vague, domed shape hovering over him. He squinted, blinked, and considered the likelihood that he’d had a relapse and was dreaming again.

“Charles,” said the dome, and, well, that sounded real enough. Even so…

“Are you a dream or a nightmare?” he asked, his voice hoarse with disuse.

“Probably a nightmare to you,” said Erik, and moved out of Charles’ field of vision. He could hear his cloak rustling, hear soft murmuring. He strained his neck, trying to see through the drugged haze and the artificial dusk of the darkened room. He could just make out Erik taking that hateful helmet off, looking down at Charles dispassionately.

“Back on the serum again, are we, Charles? I should have known you’d retreat into your shell once more.”

Charles glared at him, well aware he looked about as intimidating as a wet lettuce. Probably as attractive as one as well. “What do you want, Erik?” he ground out.

Erik was silent so long that Charles thought he’d scared him off. “I need your help,” he said at last, his voice strained, like it physically pained him to ask.

Charles struggled to prop himself up, wincing at the pain. “You - ah!”

Erik rushed forward to support him, his brow crinkled. “I thought you were on the serum, what is—“

It all happened so quickly. One moment Erik was bent over him, so close that Charles could see the curls sticking to his temples with old sweat, hovering over his prone form like his every wet dream since the sixties, and the next moment he was gone in a streak of blue scales and fur.

“Raven!” he cried, struggling around, he didn’t even know why, what could he do? “Raven, Hank, stop, he—“

There was a blur of motion from the curtains, and suddenly everything went very still.

“Bart,” said Erik, breathing hard and holding his ribs. “Bart, don’t.”

The small child sitting astride Raven’s chest pressed the massive hunting knife further against Raven’s throat. Raven held her hands up by her head and held perfectly still.

Hank, on the other hand, was wrapped in a pink fluffy duvet, struggling against the folds of material, his teeth bared in a snarl. Charles stared from one to the other in this surreal tryptich, and thought that there was no possible way he couldn’t be having a fever dream.

“Bart,” said Erik again, sitting up and keeping his hands outstretched. Charles couldn’t work out why he wasn’t simply taking the knife away, or blunting it, anything. “Do you really want to kill her?”

“Not really,” said the little red-haired girl, her voice strangely gravelly. “The universe in’t telling me to kill her. But Mr Priest told me I had’ta make exceptions sometimes, and she tried to hurt you.”

She leaned further on the knife and Charles cried out in wordless distress, his hand reaching out to her. She turned, distracted. “Hey, are you Mr Erik’s friend?”

“Please,” Charles begged. “Please don’t hurt her.”

“‘M’kay,” she shrugged, and stood up. “But if she tries to hurt Mr Erik again I’ll probably kill her.” She stood up and went to Erik, helping him to his feet and then holding onto his hand.

Charles slumped back into the bed, boneless with relief, and almost immediately regretted it as pain shot up from his pelvis.

“He’s hurt,” said another little voice from behind the curtains. Charles tried to control his breathing, turning to the shifting material in a futile effort to distract himself. A flurry of shhh followed the declaration. “What? He is,” said the voice again.

“Erik,” said Charles, daring to shift to find a more comfortable position. “I think you’re going to need to explain.”

But Erik was coming closer, a crease forming between his eyebrows. “What’s the matter, Charles?”

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my bedroom’s been invaded by--”

“No, you’re… why aren’t you getting up?”

Hank made furious muffled noises from inside the duvet burrito while Raven struggled to free him. Bart giggled. “Mona’s caught him.”

“Mona,” called Erik, still not taking his eyes off Charles. “Would you please release Charles’ friend?”

As Charles watched, the duvet turned into yet another little girl, a moppet with a black bob who skittered away from Hank and ran straight up to Charles’ bed, crawling in beside him and peering at him. “You’re hurt,” she said. “Your friend’s furry. I like to cuddle him. Would you like to cuddle me? I can be a teddy for you.”

Charles blinked at her, and she turned into a teddy. Charles picked it up - picked her up. It was impossible, but…

“Is that Mr Snuffles?” Raven asked, coming closer, keeping her distance from Bart.

“It… it can’t be. Kurt burnt him,” Charles said, stroking the threadbare head, the bald patch where he used to stroke his thumb over Mr Snuffles’ paw every night to soothe himself to sleep. He blinked fiercely and looked up at the others. “What is going on, Erik?”

Erik took a deep breath. “I found them. They were in an institution I… put an end to, they called themselves Blackwing.” He cleared his throat and turned his face away for a moment, gritting his teeth. “I thought they were mutants, but they’re not… they’re something different. My powers won’t work on them. Either way, I couldn’t leave them there, Charles, not…” He swallowed. “Not to be tested on. Not like that.”

Charles rested the teddy on his chest as Erik looked down at Bart. “How many?” he asked softly.

“You can’t be serious, Professor,” said Hank. “You can’t possibly be willing to help this asshole after--”

“Please, Hank, not in front of the children.”

“Hank’s right, Charles,” Raven said. “You can’t trust him. It could be a trap.”

“And I can’t turn away small children who need our help. Children who’ve been tortured, by the sounds of it, regardless of whether Erik brings them or we find them ourselves. This was always the plan, you know that. Finding young people to help - making a sanctuary for mutant children to find themselves. And these children… well, they might not be mutants, but they need us.”

“Yes, we all want to help the kids,” Hank said. “But you can’t be dealing with stress like this, not yet. Not until the serum’s had a chance to work.”

“Will someone tell me why Charles is back on the serum at all?” Erik snapped. “I thought we established--”

“You didn’t establish shit,” Raven snarled. “You tried to kill me, and you dropped a fucking stadium on my brother. Do you know how long it takes to realise that your pelvis is shattered if you’re a paraplegic with no sensation below your waist? Huh? Long enough for serious infections to set in, that’s how.”

She shoved past Erik and started checking Charles’ IV, carefully repositioning him so he wasn’t lying crooked again. Charles turned his head away. He couldn’t bear to see Erik’s pity, or his disgust. He wasn’t sure what would be worse. He realised he was stroking the teddy, the soft fur soothing him, and forced his fingers to lie still.

“In the end we realised the only way to heal the Professor was to put him back on the serum. He’s been on it for just over a week now - it’s cleared up the infection and set his bones,” said Hank, sounding exhausted. Charles closed his eyes as guilt washed through him. “Even so, he’s had a pretty rough couple of months - we’ve been able to heal his bones and chase off the infection, but he can feel the pain of it, and he can’t use his powers.”

“And when the serum wears off?” Erik asked, his voice strained.

“His telepathy will come back, and the sensation in his lower body will go again.” Hank put his hand on Charles’ shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Erik,” said Charles tightly. “I’m not abandoning mutantkind again for any longer than I have to. We’ll be ready to wean me off the serum in a couple of days.”

“That’s not what I--”

“I can eat your pain, mister,” said a little boy, his face mere inches from Charles’ pillow. Charles yelped and jumped backwards, then moaned as the pain sliced through his body.

“How many kids did you fucking bring, Erik?” Raven snapped, squeezing Charles’ hand and stroking his hair back off his face as he blinked back reflexive tears.

“Vogel didn’t mean it,” said a deeper voice, and Charles turned his head to see three young teenagers standing around the little boy. All of them looked skinny and rangy, like stray dogs who’d caught too many cruel kicks.

“Technically he did mean it,” said one of the boys, a black kid with limbs too big for his poor emaciated body. “But we won’t, we promise, don’t punish him, Mister?”

“I wouldn’t,” Charles said, his heart bleeding for these mistreated children.

“Are there any more?” Hank growled at Erik.

Erik cleared his throat. “Come on out, Svlad.”

#Lyn's Writing #Backstage of the Universe #cherik #Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency #x-men: days of future past #hurt/comfort #kid fic #blackwing

[whisperoftheworm]

Jay you said you’ve written from a kids perspective before? I’m trying the same but it’s hard ): it’s fine if you don’t but can you offer any advice for it?

Ok so I got halfway through writing all this, changed app to screengrab and then tumblr, a terrible application deleted this all so forgive me if this isn’t as detailed as I was intending ok thank u. Yes I am on mobile, no I haven’t seen tumblr on desktop in four years, yes I am aware this is not ideal.

So I’ve never really given writing advice before, so who fucking knows how coherent this will be. I think one of the biggest tips I can give in regards to writing children (or anyone for that matter) is not to do it in a vacuum. Observation is your friend, and if you have kids in your life that you can observe and see how they act, react, do things then that’s a good place to start.

That aside, another great thing to do is remember that children are actually people too. They may not be quite there as adults, but they still have their own thoughts, emotions, feelings, and all that jazz. On a personal level, the characters I’ve written, Oscar and William come from a traumatic, sheltered upbringing, and are on a level, different to most kids (making me rethink all this now but I’m this far in but fuck it). They’re seeing the world a lot more than they ever have, so there are a lot of new things for them. In a sense that rings true for a lot of kids, so a dash of wonder and confusion is often useful.

Inner Monologue:

This sounds a bit like I’m contradicting myself but it’s important to remember that kids see the world as more objective and black and white to your average adult (especially vulnerable traumatised kiddos but that’s another kettle of fish).

I’m going to reference some of my own stuff a few times here btw because I’m a narcissist.

This is from a recent draft but it seemed a good example. Oscar is seven, so a lot of his thoughts come off as quite scattered and short, flipping between the only two things he cares about in this moment, his dinosaur and William. Keep it short, keep it objective, but also keep it inquisitive to a degree.

Another example I could find is one from Will’s perspective. He’s the same age as Oscar, and is royally piss scared of water, watching his best pal out in the sea. Like many kids, he’s got a very vivid imagination, and the whole sea monster thing felt natural that he’d think that.

Dialogue:

If you’ve ever spent time around a child, you’ll know that they ask a lot of questions. With my characters’ ages and personalities taken into consideration, I tend to keep their dialogue quite short with no more than two or three sentences at a time. They tend to state the obvious and give more of an explanation than needed at times — which is also useful for exposition. Save yourself from that and just have your small character explain exactly what they’re doing.

Here he’s drawn a wee picture and is showing it off. He’s gone into detail about it while also being the same kind of insecure need for praise that kids, being kids, often need.

Some other things about writing kids and their dialogue is use of names. Kids tend to use names more than adults in conversation, which I also find helps to keep the flow going through long bits of dialogue without having to add a million speech tags. Furthermore, for one word answers and yes and no questions, keep it short for them. Have them nod and shake their heads, even keep them silent when it’s a question we already know the answer to.

Also while we’re here: Baby talk. Just don’t. It does entirely depend on the age, but if I have to sit through clearly written lisps and i’m a widdle baby uwu then I will be sick. The occasional misspeak and mistake is fine in my opinion. Making them cute is all well and good, helping readers develop an attachment to them by making them sweet is also great. But just don’t overdo it. I feel like this rings truer more for writing girls than boys, but that is again, a whole nother kettle of fish.

Just extra stuff that I can’t be arsed to make another subheading for:

Kids are gross. Remember that they are gross. Oscar likes to tell his grown ups whenever he’s done some kind of bodily function, which from my experience is the seven-year-old boy experience.

Kids get attached easily. Whether it be to caregivers or toys/objects, it happens. William has a stuffed rabbit that rarely leaves his sight. Don’t be afraid to make them fall in love with stuff, because having him hold onto his rabbit when he’s nervous for example is one of my fav ways to convey him.

Don’t reduce them to being cutesy and nothing else. I’ve probably said this like three times now, but it’s Super Important. Make them cute, but make them more than that.

—

This is all I can physically manage writing about this at the moment ngl. This took like two hours of distractions and smoke breaks and being in quarantine and tbh I’m not sure how much sense this makes. But thanks for the ask, anon you’ve given me something to do today.

#jay’s asks (jasks) #long post #holy shit this took forever #i’ll probably amend this at a later date but for now i hope this has somewhat helped #srs tho thank u for this i usually get mean anons so this was a nice change of pace #also i Will take any opportunity to chat about writing in any way so anything else just inbox me like #writing advice #writing help

[meg-tann]

Happy Birthday handsome

Bucky x Reader

Continued from the fire in eyes - NOT CHAPTER TWO 

You shot up from the bed sweat rolling down your forehead. Turning to look at where your husband Bucky slept, only to see him sleeping soundly with soft snores coming from his mouth. "It was all a dream," you muttered to yourself softly, sighing. You adjusted your pillow and made yourself comfortable by cuddling up against Bucky, he shifted slightly but wrapped his flesh arm around your waist pulling you closer to his body. Finally, you went back to sleep again.

*The next morning*

"Should we wake her up?" "I don't know." "She promised though." "Yeah"

"Mummy, wake up mummy it's daddy's birthday" You heard the voices of your 4-year-old twin girls Samantha and Aaliyah whispering while softly shaking you. You had promised them that you would bake some cupcakes for Bucky (Decorated like a plum ;) ) as a birthday surprise from the girls.

"Ok, ok I'm up. Shhhh! Daddy's still asleep." You whispered putting your index finger up to your lips while looking into their bright blue eyes. They were wearing their Captain America pyjamas, courtesy of Steve, had their brunette hair tied up in pigtails that lay messily on their shoulder.

"Come on sweet cheeks," You said patting both their bums, shooing them out of the bedroom to give Bucky some privacy while sleeping because well, he sleeps naked...

It would be a traumatising if they caught him like that.

Once we arrived in the kitchen, you lay out the ingredients and equipment on the countertop before dragging over two high chairs for Sam and Aly to stand on.

They started mixing all the ingredients, under the supervision of yourself. You thought back to last night, why would you have a dream or a nightmare like that? What scared you was that it was so vivid and detailed, it still makes you shudder in thought now. "Mummy? Mummy" You heard Sam call for you, making you snap out of the daydream. "Yes, dear? Are you guys done already?" You asked staring down at them, watching them nod in unison. That always scared you and Bucky out, you know, twins doing the same things at the same time. Yeah.

"Alright, why don't you guys start on the icings, I will pop this in the oven and then I will come back and help." You said, for 4-year-olds they were incredibly smart.

------

You watched them intently as they iced the cupcakes, trying to copy pictures of plums from off your phone screen. They had their tongues sticking out in concentration as they piped the blue icing around the top of the cupcake before sticking a cake pop decorated like a plum that you made the night before on top.

"Why blue sweeties?" You asked curiously. "Cause daddy is a boy and boys are supposed to like blue!" Aly claimed excitedly. You chuckled at their slight ignorance but come on their four. They still think boys in school have 'Cooties' as they call it.

"Alright, are you guys done? Daddy is gonna be up soon" You said looking up at the clock hanging on the wall, the time showing 10 am in the morning. They nodded and showed their finished pieces.

"Oh my! Aren't they just stunning" You gasped.

Alright, let's go wake daddy up, shall we?" You said mischievously before taking their cupcakes from their hands. We walked up to the bedroom you shared with your husband Bucky and quietly opened the door cringing when it squeaked loudly. Thankfully that didn't wake Bucky up. You stared at your husband in amusement he was curled up in the duvet, his muscular back exposed but his lower half covered. Thank goodness.

You watched Sam and Aly run towards Bucky and jump on his chest while shouting daddy trying to get him to wake up. Even though you knew he was awake when they screamed it first, They didn't.

"DADDY!DADDY!WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY!" you saw them still trying to get Bucky to 'wake up'.

"Bucky Babe, Give them a break. Open your eyes." You said chuckling at how out of breath your daughters after that. You watched Bucky's eyes snap open immediately, his bright blue eyes that mirrored Sam and Aly's staring at them. He chuckled and kissed them both on the nose. "I'm sorry принцесс, thank you so much."

You handed Sam and Aly their cupcakes watching as they switched them with each other. This making Bucky burst out in laughter as you blushed, your cheeks heating up and turning a light pink tone.

"These are for you daddy we made them with mummy this morning," Sam mentioned "But we decorated them and made it ourselves?" Aly said confused looking up at her slightly older twin sister.

"Yeah, but mummy did measure everything. make the plums as well as bake them for us" Sam argued with her sister.

"Alright, принцесс Sammy and Mummy made hers together." "But Aly made it herself," Bucky said calming the two girls down. "I love them both equally" He continued taking a huge bite out off both the cupcakes at the same time.

You giggled at his silliness. You watched him try and swallow both the bites at the same and ultimately failing.

"Alright guys, I think it is time to go take a bath. Uncle Steve, Uncle Sam, Uncle Vision, Aunt Wanda and Aunt Natasha are coming over in 5 minutes."

* I'm sorry, I felt the need to write even the slightest bit of smut* *Skip it if you like, it isn't as graphic as some others that are bound to come soon*

You watched them rush to their room excited to see their aunts and uncles again. You climbed onto the bed straddling your insanely gorgeous and well-built husband while leaving kisses on his metal arm then sucking on his throat below his protruding Adam's apple.

Bucky moaned in pleasure as you continued kissing down his chest.

He took in a sharp breath when you started kissing his V-lines before coming to a stop. "God doll, you really know how to tease a man." He said annoyed yet turned on.

"I know.."You smirked up at him continuing your previous actions. Starting at mouth and throat then down his chest and then lifting the covers slightly exposing him.

You lightly blew on his sensitive skin and placing a small kiss on it. He let out the most pornographic groan loudly, his eyes widened and slapped his hand around. God, you loved it when he forgot how loud he really was. You covered him up again and moved to straddle him again. Only this time you could feel him pressed up against your inner thigh. "Mmmhmm, Happy birthday handsome," You said peck on his lips each word.

You started making out with him roughly, pressing your lips against his and shoving your tongue in his mouth and battled for dominance against yours. You started to grind your hips against him, him groaning and you moaning through the kiss. You ran your hands through his freshly cut hair and pulling on it hard, grinding your hips harder creating friction between you guys.

"Cough Cough Cough" You heard a voice come from the door of your bedroom. You immediately stopped your actions much to Bucky's dismay turning towards the door. You groaned annoyed helping to cover your husband's cock with your legs, failing slightly from it being even larger than before due to him being turned on by previous events.

*Smut ends* (for now)

You saw Steve and Sam by the door covering both your daughter's eyes with their arms. Sam smirking at you and Bucky cheekily and Steve staring at you shocked and disgusted.

"Uncle Stevie? Uncle Sammie? We can't see" They said. "I know pumpkins, but we can't let you see right now cause mummy and daddy are planning something very special for you and Sam on your birthdays," Steve said

"Let's go outside and wait till mommy and daddy finish alright? We can go do shopping and get ice cream till then ok?" Sam said before mouthing 'Fix that first, we got it' thrusting his hips and making the blow job sign. You and bucky glared at him and they both ran out.

------

outside*

Steve and Sam put some music on and put headphones on the two girls before filling Wanda, Natasha, Vision in on what is about to go down.

"They were about the fuck, and we told them to continue. We need to bring them shopping and get ice cream with them for about 2 hours" Sam explained bluntly while pointing at the two twins playing on each of their phones.

Wanda, Natasha and Vision just nodded before ushering the girls out of the house.

------

*Back in the room*

"I'm sorry baby, I took it too far," You said looking down "Are you joking? fuck doll that was so hot" "The only thing is that you have to fix this now," He said pointing at his large boner. you bit your lip and smiled at him.

"Alright then Sarge, where were we?" You asked him using his rank name before ripping off your tank top and throwing it somewhere in the room. you pushed the covers to the ground and taking off your shorts and underwear at the same time leaving you both naked. you quickly jumped to rub your own clit in front of him, your wet pussy on full display as you pleasured yourself on bucky's chest juices flowing down and onto his stomach.

“fuck fuck fuck bucky, your fingers are amazing' “You like fucking me with those metal fingers while you jerk off?” “Oh god yes baby yes' bucky whined while reaching behind you to stroke his own cock, his hand speeding up and his moans getting louder.

You felt his hips buck each time he stroked himself. You wanted to pleasure him yourself but him masturbating his got to be the hottest and most stimulating thing ever. 

You grabbed his metal hand and sticking two fingers into your pussy, the sight of your walls contracting and adjusting to his fingers while pushing out even more juices was just... Fuck. 

You could feel bucky start to take control of his own fingers, this man...this man will be the end of you.

“Please Bucky...I need more”

“Harder”

“Faster”

“Deeper?”

“ALL!” “OH GOD BUCKY ALL!” You screamed

“Since you asked so nicely, He adjusted his position, now you were below him. he still continued to give you sight by continuing to stroke that thick cock. He pressed his lips against your wet cunt before sucking you dry, he stuck in another two fingers and setting an even faster pace, if that was even possible.

“Come on doll.. scream for me, scream my name”

“Let everyone know how good I make you feel” 

“YES BUCK! OH FUCK! OH SHIT! FUCK MY PUSSY AND I WILL GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB! FUCK! FUCK! SUCH A BIG COCK ON DISPLAY FOR ME!” 

“DON’T STOP BUCK”

“JAMES”

“JAMES”

“DADDY!”

he curled his fingers inside you and started to scissor his fingers at your G-spot, He leaned on his knees while stroking his cock and finger fucking you, loving how your back would arch in such immense pleasure holding onto and gripping the bed sheets as if your life depended on it.

"Fuck Bucky! I'm cumming! I'm cumming! FUCK" you screamed, 'James' and 'Bucky' falling from your lips as you continued to rub your clit and finger yourself. 

“Yeah? You gonna cum all over my hand? So fucking gorgeous” He said letting go of his insanely hard cock to bite down on your nipple. You pulled and tugged at his hair.

Soon enough you came, you could feel the cum rushing out you and drenching bucky’s hand in cum, Euphoria crashing into you as you relaxed.

"Holy shit doll, look at what a mess you made," Bucky said making you look down at his arms, abs, chest and thighs. They were wet and glistening, cum dripping down the sides of his body. Holy shit you just squirted.

'fuck y/n you are such a sexy doll, pussy so wet, squirting all over your daddy' 'so sexy, driving me crazy' his hand going back to his cock, squeezing his cock tightly and moving his big hand up and down his equally as large cock.

“Oh god- there you go darling. Yes...feels so good baby don’t stop shit”

Bucky fell back on his back, his legs spread out wide giving you a show, his hands went back to stroking his hard cock extremely fast while massaging his balls. 

“Fucking hell y/n right their doll. such a good girl” He cried out, His tip was painfully red and you watched as he got himself off, his thumb sliding over the tip and rubbing the pre-cum over his large cock. he looked so fucking beautiful and fuck you were getting wet just watching him again.

You had enough, he hasn’t cummed yet so you took matters into your own hands. You climbed towards him, his eyes were screwed shut from pleasure so he didn't see you. You wrapped your lips around the tip, smacking his hands off him. His eyes snapped open and let out the most pornographic moan you had ever heard. Fuck it was hot. 

“Fuck doll.. your mouth feels like velvet. YES YES YES MOUTH SO WARM”

'fuck I’m not-no-not gonna last.FUCK!' bucky cried out, strings of cum shot from his tip landing everywhere, your stomach, the bedsheets and his hand and thighs.

"That is what you call man-squirting," You said rolling off your husband and cuddling up to him. He chuckled.

"Happy birthday Sargent James Buchanan Barnes"

'Thank you doll" Bucky replied  

"Just so you know Sarge cause this isn't the only time today you get this treatment today..if you cummed like that for me just squirting, good luck tonight baby," You said.

a/ N: I don't really know what this turned into, I guess I just got really horny all of a sudden. Don't worry I will write an actual chapter 2 for Fire in eyes.

Alright, love you guys! Bye  

#sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes smut #Sebastian Stan #smut #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader

[drblueneck]

Massive Genderbent AU - Rookie 9 edition

Ok. I should really NOT be writing that, but that little shit of a story wouldn’t leave me alone and I couldn’t focus on my studies and I was going CRAZY. So, here. It’s written. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE BRAIN, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! I decided to post it, because I want people to enjoy the beauty of genderbender. This will turn into a fullfledged story. Maybe. Probably. Certainly. But not right now. Because I don’t have time. I NEED TIIIIMMMME.

As spring was in full bloom, it was time for Hideo-sensei - Head of the Academy - to peruse the new application forms for the upcoming year. Going through each of them and smiling at the familiar clan names, he took him a moment to notice the higher than normal percentage of girls being enrolled. As he took a closer look, his surprise went up a notch. The heirs of the most prominent ninja clans were to be in the same year class, and all but two were females. It had been a long time since such a thing happened! Hideo-sensei idly wondered if the girls would be up to par with the boys, and winced at the ludicrous idea of Genin teams made up mostly of kunoichi - their strength would never amount to that of their male counterparts, science said so. Or, well, science said so before Tsunade-sama gave it the finger... Hideo-sensei shook his head and snorted. Frankly, what were the chances for all these girls to end up like the legendary Sannin? Prodigies were a fluke, not the norm.

With a rueful sigh, he closed the files and signed them, already mourning for this future batch of Genin who would more likely than not bring down their forces’ strength for months, if not years - that is, if they ever graduated instead of mooning over boys like so many were wont to do in their debute... Hopefully, these kunoichi would have a wake-up call sooner than later!

Years later, looking back on this biased oversight, Hideo-sensei would berate himself for dismissing so easily what Konoha saw as its new rising stars and the best ninja of their generation.

  Shikaku stared at his ranting kid from where he was sitting under the shade of the great oak in their backyard, ears used to relentless tirades after years of mariage to his dear banshee of a wife. He loved her, really, he did, but damn if that troublesome woman didn’t turn him half-deaf in the first two months of their marital life. It’s without shame that Shikaku would readily admit to having prayed for his kid to turn out like him - lazy and fond of long stretches of silence. The Nara genes were usually strong, to the dismal of those who married into the clan, but it looked like Yoshino’s were as stubborn as her!

Troublesome woman indeed, Shikaku thought with fondness as his daughter finished her rant about ‘not being a kid anymore’ and thus demanding to be ‘trained as a real kunoichi to kick butts’. Maybe he stayed quiet for too long because she started tapping her tiny foot on the grassy ground, arms crossed as she dished out her best glare, and all that was done in a perfect imitation of her mother - and it only made her father want to laugh and squeeze her in a hug.

Which he did.

“Daaad! I’m serious!” Shikaru wailed, tugging harshly at her father’s spiky ponytail to punctuate her words.

“Yes you are,” he cooed, rubbing his scratchy beard against her chubby cheek.

“I wanna leaaarn!” She wailed again, squirming in his grasp and trying to escape his beard, struggling not to laugh and keep up her angry pout. It tickled!

Trapping her into his arms, Shikaku let himself fall down on his back, adjusting comfortably his neck so that he could watch the fluffy clouds go by.

“Maa, why couldn’t you be a lazy one just like your dad, hm?”

The child instantly stopped her useless squirming and with fire burning fiercely in her brown eyes, she hissed like an angry cat, “Cause I’m gonna beat Inoshi! He made Chou cry!”

Aaah, right. The first time he and his teammate decided to officially introduce their kids to each other when they were four, Inoichi’s boy - who lacked a brain to mouth filter - had taken one look at Chouza’s girl and pointed at her before saying with all the innocence of the world, “Daddy, look, she’s fat.” The poor Chouko had bursted into tears and clung to her father the whole day while Shikaru, true to her name, spent a good ten minutes scolding the boy before launching herself into a philosophical pamphlet of sorts on the serious issue of body image within the shinobi world. Inoshi had gaped at her, a bit pale, before hunching his shoulders and muttering a bit too belligerently, “Well, you’re definitely not cute...”

Inoichi had confided that to this day, his son still obsessively kept his hair short, traumatised by Shikaru gripping on his tiny ponytail so hard that she tore out a big clump of fine blond hair. Another of her mother’s bad habits... It was a good thing Shikaku got so used to the rough treatment that it felt like his head was made of steel, otherwise, between his two troublesome girls, he would’ve turned bald yeard ago!

Anyway, all that had been a year ago, and Shikaku had to marvel at his daughter’s ability to hold a grudge.

He hummed under his breath at another of his daughter’s whine about ‘stupid boys’ and wanting to train.

“Then you’ll be happy to know that you start the Academy next month,” he said, nonchalant, happy to stare at the powdery blue sky with the light weight of his kid securely held against his chest. Said kid abruptly sat up, pushing a bony knee into his ribs and he ‘oofed’. Kids... so uncaring...

“Really?!” she cried out as she bounced on his stomach, her almond-shaped eyes almost glittering with stars.

“Really.”

Shikaru dropped back down against him, squeezing her skinny arms around his neck with all her strength - and Shikaku was proud to say that it was actually a lot - as she smothered her excited ‘”thank yous” into his shirt, her feet kicking out in a show of unrestraint happiness and narrowly missing his jewels.

Inoshi was going down. Ha!

  It had been a long time since a masculine presence had been felt in the Inuzuka household. From as far as she could remember, Kiku had always been surrendered solely by her mom and sister and their dogs, with the occasional clansmen dropping by to check in with their Head. And if asked, Kiku would tell you that her mom was badass.

Once, she had asked where her father was and mom bristled and waved a fist in the air. “Who needs that pussy when you got me, huh?” Hana later told her that dad had left them because mom scared him. Tch, mom was right, what a scaredy-cat! Inuzuka women were the bomb!

And Kiku wanted to be just like her mother.

It actually amused Tsume greatly to see her youngest daughter following her everywhere like a lost puppy, even when she went to work in the Jounin HQ or meeting with members of the Council for clan matters. Kiku would closely watch her every move and copy them – sitting with an arm thrown on the back of a chair, legs slightly splayed out or crossed at the ankles; fingers drumming on the table when she wanted to fuck with uptight people like Hiashi or Fugaku; lips turning into a snarl when she wasn’t happy… Yep, her daughter was cute as a button in her mom-worship antics.

Tsume actually thought it was all just a phase and that her childish wonder would soon fade out, but Kiku never stopped praising her mom with starry eyes, asking stories of her missions, and more recently, pleading to start her training in the shinobi arts like Hana. She had already given Akamaru to her a few weeks ago, wanting her to acclimate herself to her life-partner, but Tsume had wanted to leave the shinobi training for a bit later to make sure the dog would be able to follow… So what to do, what to do?

Sighing over her dilemma, Tsume entered Shikaku’s office and dropped her latest report on his desk, not feeling one bit sympathetic as he groaned while glaring at the pile of reports that would soon turn into a tower. Usually, he had to hunt down his Jounin to get their reports on time, but strangely these past few days, they’d all been quite eager – gleeful even! – to complete their administrative duties…

Tsume shot him a mean smirk. “Serves you right for ditching us last week with the new recruits,” she said snidely, still peeved that heir commanding officer had disappeared for a whole afternoon and let the more seasoned shinobi drill the baby Jounin. Shikaku was way too good at hiding from them, the sneaky bastard.

“God, I’m surrounded by nagging women,” the man groaned, signing the papers he was reading with a flourish and attacking a new batch.

“Beats being surrounded by whiny men,” was Tsume’s quick retort.

Shikaku shrugged and stretched his arms, which Tsume took as her dismissal. All too happy to leave the Jounin Commander to his own suffering, she skipped to the door with a bounce to her step, only to reluctantly stop when Shikaku called out her name.

“What.” She was a busy woman, dammit.

He smiled apologetically before asking, “I was just wondering if you were putting your daughter into the Academy this year? Mine is going, and I’d be more at ease if some of the kids she knows were to attend too… Shikaru really needs to up her social game,” he added thoughtfully.

God, that man could be such a mother-hen sometimes! Tsume wondered if he would’ve been this dotting had he had a boy as laidback as him… Probably not.

“I’ve put in Kiku’s application but didn’t tell her anything yet. You know how my clan likes to keep the kids as long as possible and teach them at home before sending the little brats to schools, what with our dogs needing proper training too…”

Shikaku nodded. Many clans were like Tsume’s, enrolling the kids only for the last two or three years of the Academy as they preferred – or simply needed in some cases – to train their kekkai genkai first and foremost before even thinking about formal schooling.

“Well, if your girl is anything like you, she’s going to take to shinobi training like a fish to water,” he said in a smile, complimenting his Jounin’s ruthless efficiency on the field, and Tsume grinned back, showing her sharp teeth.

Maybe sending Kiku earlier than expected would actually be a good thing. Her girl was driven after all!

“She’s been bugging me about training her for weeks now. I think she’s ready to commit,” she mused outloud in a prideful tone.

With a wave of the hand, she turned around and leisurely walked out Shikaku’s office while calling out, “My girl’s totally gonna make you turn prematurely grey when she’ll be under your command, Nara!”

Chuckling at the muttered “troublesome” that her enhanced hearing caught, Tsume made her way back home, the grin never leaving her face. Damn right, her Kiku was going to become a kickass kunoichi!

(Shikaru means “to scold” which I found hilarious. Inoshi comes from inoshishi which means boar, Kiku means chrysanthemum because I just wanted to have some coherency between her sister and her, and Chouko means butterfly child, which is cute af. Next one should’ve Female!Sasuke, Male!Hinata, and I’m gonna have so much fun.)

#genderbent AU #genderbent Rookie 9 #Naruto fanfic #Female Shikamaru #Male Ino #Female Chouji #Female Kiba

[themyskira]

The Life of Captain Marvel - issue #4, part 2

In the first half of this issue, we got Carol’s new secret origin, which reduced all of her previously hard-earned victories and achievements to ~birthright~ and ~Kree blood~ and ~destiny~.

The second half gives us the story of how Marie met Joe and how Carol came to be, which quickly turns into a litany of excuses for Marie and Joe’s abject failures as parents and human beings.

Which means -- sorry, guys -- we’re gonna have to talk about the abuse stuff again.

Marie says she’ll explain everything, but first they need to “batten down the hatches” and get ready for the next attack. Carol and JJ turn the obnoxiousness up to eleven.

Carol: I’ll batten— JJ: Start chattin’!!!

They then proceed to sit around and do nothing to secure their defences for the rest of the issue.

Marie explains that she was sent on a mission to Earth. Boston wasn’t her target, but she was blown off course and crash-landed in the harbour. Joe spotted her thrashing in the water and rescued her.

“From then on, my training kicked in. ‘First principle of assimilation on a new planet: Never present with a power.’”

This is hilarious, because on the very next page we see Marie repeatedly using her powers in crowded public spaces by accident.

We never find out what Marie’s mission on Earth was. Since she never gets any further than Boston, the impression I get is that she flew in there all gung-ho, only to lock eyes with a cute boy and immediately forget about everything else.

While she keeps stalling with her superiors, reporting that she’s cultivated a romance with a human as a ‘cover’ (for what?!), Marie grows ever closer to Joe. He discovers that she’s an alien because, despite being the youngest, smartest, strongest, bestest, greatestest Imperial Guard captain in the history of the Kree Empire, she can’t get a handle on basic undercover principles like not flying in public.

Eventually they get married.

“It was the happiest day of my life… But it was also the beginning of a lifelong lie. Because Joe married the wrong woman. Mari-Ell had come to Earth looking for a war. Marie had stayed on Earth looking for a life, love, a family. All the things no Kree ever gets to know… or even know they want. That was my choice. When Captain Mari-Ell became Mrs Joseph Danvers, I became the person I was meant to be… just not the person your father had fallen in love with. Those letters that broke your heart, Carol? They were written to another woman, the one he was afraid of losing. Mari-Ell. Someone I no longer am, someone I no longer want to be.”

hOKAY LET’S GET INTO THIS.

Joe didn’t fall in “love” with anyone. He fell in lust with a fantasy of a sexy mystery girl from the ocean who trailed after him like a lost puppy and hung on his every word, of an illicit affair with an alien soldier babe who would fly just for him. 

Then they got married and had a baby and Marie dedicated herself to building a family with him as he’d begged her to do, and Joe found himself faced with something he hadn’t bargained for — a three-dimensional person with thoughts and desires that didn’t revolve entirely around him.

That’s why he resented Marie and Carol both — for taking his sex fantasy girlfriend away from him.

Granted, this is not the spin that Stohl puts on it. She expects us to feel sorry for him.

“Your poor father. I tried to be the woman he fell in love with, but…”

Marie: …you needed me. And the woman you needed wasn’t a warrior from a distant world. It was your mother. … Helping you fit into this place? Making you feel human? That was my fight.

What in the EVEN.

Let us set aside for the time being the sheer outrageousness of the idea that Marie could not simultaneously be two things, that she was faced with a strict binary choice between being a badass alien protector and a domestic nurturer.

At no point in her interactions with Joe has Marie ever behaved as Captain Mari-Ell, Kree warrior who has “come to Earth looking for a war”. She’s your classic naive alien fish-out-of-water. He takes her bowling and she accidentally hurls the ball so hard that she shatters the pins; Joe stares and Marie utters an embarrassed “Oops”. He takes her to a baseball game and she gets so into it that she levitates in order to catch the ball.

All the while she is shown to be actively avoiding her mission and lying to her commanding officers about her movements on Earth. This is not a woman who’s in any hurry to find a war. All she wants to do is play house.

Nor have any of her interactions with Carol shown her to be a particularly attentive mother. She allows her husband to bully, belittle and traumatise their children. When a distressed young Carol tries to protect her brothers from their father’s fists, Marie first pulls her back sternly (“You’ll just make it worse… Now’s not the time”). And then, when Carol demands that Joe stop, scolds and punishes her (grabbing her by the arm: “That’s it, young lady— You’re going home”).

All of this is understandable, if still traumatising for Carol, if we consider Marie to be a victim of abuse herself. But that’s never explicitly tackled, and it’s the only flashback we get that shows Marie directly interacting with the younger Carol, which leaves us with a woman who let her daughter grow up feeling afraid, rejected, silenced, disempowered and undervalued.

Marie in the present day is little better. She has next to no relationship with Carol. She actively avoids being honest about her and Carol’s origins, even after Carol gains her Kree powers, even during the various traumas of Carol’s depowering and multiple bouts of amnesia, even when she knows that her silence is endangering her children’s lives. She is an awful parent and this is never acknowledged.

We cut to a flashback to the Danvers family in hospital with the newborn Carol. Marie says that she’ll be stronger than any human; infant Carol kindly demonstrates this by crushing Joe’s finger. Marie says she wants to call the baby Car-Ell — Carol — because on Hala it means “champion”

Joe summarily declares that, as Marie and Carol’s owner protector, it’s now his job to keep them safe and make decisions for them, so he’d better not see them acting independently or defending themselves, y’hear?

The misogyny is enough to make Marie swoon with adoration.

Joe: Champ, huh? Guess ya both are. But now the fighting’ days are over. For both a you. Marie: Joe… Joe: I’m gonna protect ya now. She’s my daughter, Marie. I’m not gonna let them touch her. I’m not gonna let anything happen to her. That’s on me. Marie [narration]: He had no idea what he was saying— and it made me love him even more.

Marie knows that to keep Carol truly safe, she needs to go off the grid, as it were — turn off the beacon that enables her Kree commanders to track her.

Yeah, and she’s just realising that now. Not when she accepted Joe’s proposal and committed to staying on Earth with him and becoming a mother to his sons. Not when she sealed that commitment by marrying him. Not at any point during her pregnancy. It’s only now as she looks down at her newborn Kree-human hybrid baby that she has realised ‘oh shit, there might be some consequences for this’.

And what the frig do her commanding officers think she’s been doing for the last nine months? She certainly hasn’t been carrying out whatever the hell her mission actually was. Has she just been telling them more and more elaborate lies, while taking increasingly outrageous steps to hide her growing belly?

But sure, turn the tracker off, it’s not like they could possibly track you to the location of your last known signal. Not when you’ve cunningly hidden your tracks by moving to the other side of the bay. They’ll be totally bamboozled!

“We gave you as regular a childhood as we could. We taught you to love, not to fight… to use your heart, not your fists. All the things nobody had ever taught me.”

Again, there is absolutely no evidence of this in the preceding eighty-odd pages of comic. This whole thing started because Carol is so scarred by her upbringing that she’s having full-blown post-traumatic flashbacks in her daily life.

It was hard for Joe, Marie tells us. Paranoid about being found and having his family ripped apart by the Kree, he began to see threats everywhere.

So you see, it’s not his fault he was an abuser! His wife refused to centre her entire existence around him! He was scared that her alien friends would come and emasculate him! It all drove him to drink! When you think about it, it’s really Marie’s fault that he beat his kids!

Joe convinces Marie that crushing Carol’s dreams and belittling her ambitions is for her own good, and Marie believes him because his alcohol-fuelled misogyny is so convincing.

(But she hates herself for doing it, so it’s okay that she made her daughter feel alienated and abandoned for years.)

Joe: You have to talk to her. She’s sayin’ all this garbage ‘bout bein’ an astronaut again. Marie: Carol’s going to be whatever she wants, Joe. Telling her not to do something isn’t going to change her mind. She’s Kree. Joe: Only half, thank gawd. Don’t think I could handle all this one small step for womankind crap an’ the flying stuff, too.

Jump forward to Carol at eighteen. Despite her parents’ lack of support and rejection of her chosen career, Carol has made it into her dream college course and is determined to one day work for NASA. But she can’t cover tuition on her own. She asks Joe for help and gets a crushing and unequivocal no. Marie is nowhere to be seen. In the present, Carol recalls, “I remember it was the night I needed you most, Ma. I had no one.”

But! You guys! The reason Marie wasn’t there is that she was off hocking her wedding ring so she could pay Carol’s tuition herself, which totally makes up for eighteen years of neglecting Carol and making her feel like less. And the reason Marie never told Carol any of this before now is that by the time she got back from the pawn shop, Carol had already packed up and left to join the military and “[Marie] had lost [her]”, because we are also expected to believe that the fifteen to twenty years that followed this offered not a single opportunity for Marie to reach out and make amends.

So really what I’m saying is, it’s Carol’s fault here for impulsively running off and not waiting around for her mother to finally bother supporting her.

For some reason Carol is touched by all this and the pair embrace, and they’re so caught up in their own moment that they don’t even notice Clorox sneak up on them and take JJ hostage.

#comics talk #the days of our lives of captain marvel