#I made a more bland version for her and it was too spicy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glassesandkim · 3 years

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I would like to say my piece here about schmico, grey’s anatomy, and the fandom and it’s really for my own self-indulgence and benefit. I’m not asking for you to agree with me or even begin to understand what I’m going on about. I don’t even think half the things that I think about for this fandom exists on an important level. I fully believe in just ~vibin’~ to your own tune when it comes to participating in fandom spaces.

so this post is gonna be my way of getting stuff off my chest so i can continue to ~vibe~

First thing I’d like to address is: I know. I know the Nico Kim that I love and adore is not the Nico Kim in canon. He is who I hope he is in canon. But there’s not much to combat or support that he is or isn’t. He really could be who we’ve made up in fanon for him and at the same time, he really couldn’t. Grey’s created this character that is as blank as a dried piece of toast. So forgive me if I spread a bit of spicy jam here and there so I can swallow this bland shit down a little easier.

So when people come to me to say, “Y’all are delulu and out of your mind to love this guy this much.” PLEASE, I know. This isn’t news, honey. I am well aware.

But I will continue to justify, romanticize, and put this boy on a pedestal for as long as his existence in canon continues to remain arbitrary and vague. And it makes me very biased to a fault but I have put too much time and energy into this character NOT to be.

And then you might ask, why have I put so much of my time and life (THREE YEARS!!!! I’VE BEEN IN THIS FANDOM FOR THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!) into this character that has all but said maybe like a PAGE of dialogue at most?

Because I was conned into it. Because they marketed the shit out of him when Alex Landi got the part. And I, as a casual viewer of Grey’s since I was in high school (I’m in my late 20s now, dawg) and of Asian descent was promised representation. Not just Asian rep, but queer rep.

So naturally, I got extremely attached. It's not everyday a major Western mainstream prime time medical drama chooses to create a character as unique as Nico's.

I spent so much time here. I was here when fandom decided Nico would call Levi “babe”. I was here when we all clowned that Nico didn’t know Levi’s first name. I was here when Josh died and the fandom went up in arms with pitchforks and stakes against Nico. I was here for all of it. I've seen it all.

And unfortunately, seeing it all, makes me tired. Grey’s is time and time again proving to me that they don’t give a shit about the development and well-being of their existing characters at all. The show only cares about collecting diversity points and performing their wokeness to the general masses. (I talk a lot about how grey's is plot-driven vs. character-driven.)

I will still get frustrated and annoyed at Nico’s lack of character development. But I mostly just laugh at the fandom nowadays. I know you guys want to fight the fight, tell everyone Nico is not toxic!!!!!! But bros, friends, lovers, it’s a tried and tired fight.

Grey’s wants us to think Nico is a Bad Boyfriend. It’s as clear as the stench one comes across when they step on dog shit. That’s why I think it’s useless to fight people about Nico. Grey’s gets amnesia all the time. Grey’s forgot the whole season and half they invested in creating a loving boyfriend for Levi and up and changed Nico’s personality to fit a new narrative (that they, quite frankly, failed to even follow through because of covid and other filming hoopla hula hoops they’ve had to jump through that I’ve been informed of and which I simply don’t care for).

So all this ~schmico is endgame!!! we deserve it!!!~ Binches, I have better things to fight for than schmico endgame. What’s the alternative? Levi lives in Jo’s closet forever? They’re going to be together in the end no matter what. Nobody on that show cares enough about Nico OR Levi to set up new relationships and stories for them. So don’t fret, my friends. They’ll be together in the end. It just comes down to the question of what stupid story they’re going to come up with for them to be together. (And might I argue that they already are together???)

Speaking of the bogus story they’re going to write for schmico: you bet my rice eating, Chinese-speaking ass, that it’s not going to be a story written from a queer and poc perspective. It’s going to be some gag-worthy straight het story but made gay. (How many times do I have to hear, "I hope Nico comes out to his parents!!" NO, HE DOESN'T! Do you know how VIOLENT coming out is sometimes?? It's not a solution to Nico's problems with Levi. It's an introduction and invitation to problems over being queer -- but why would I expect anyone, let alone Grey's, to understand that prepetuating these types of stories is inherently damaging to queer people? They wouldn't know. The cishet fandom wouldn't know. Because no one is writing grey's in a queer, poc centric way.)

Which drives me to the next point: you know why Nico doesn’t get character development even though he showed up at the same time as Link? Because of ✨racism ✨. Because Link is a more conventional character (read: white) that is easier to write because nobody on this show knows how to write an Asian character anymore, let alone a gay Asian character. So of course, nobody wants to touch that shit even with a pogo stick. (Argue with me that Cristina exists and I will tell you, yes she did, but they RARELY touched upon her cultural and ethnic background. Also it was the early 2000s. Cristina was as ground breaking as it got for us Asians back then.)

And then because Nico isn’t developed enough, we have the weird phenomenon of people shipping everyone and their dog with Levi and it’s like, y’all know you got played by the racism game, right? You are hostages to this system that has taught you that white men are more desirable and deserving of story and humanity than a poc character who is instead, reduced to nothing but sex appeal and if he’s not doing well on that front, then he’s useless.

How many times does Levi say: Nico is so hot! Sex with Nico is so good! He’s a roman statue!

All!! the!! time!! Nico's worth to Levi’s character is to be the sex object that Sets Him Free.

Which plays into the sexualization of Asian people which all comes from, you guessed it! Racism! (Levi really compared Nico to a fucking lifeless slab of stone.)

(Side note: I do think talking about how racism plays into Nico’s character and the fandom space is important and probably a separate post. I’m happy to write my opinion piece on it if it’s something people want.)

But anyway, those are just some of my qualms with schmico, grey’s anatomy, and the fandom. I do not expect anyone to fully agree with me and I’m not asking the fandom to change or apologize or whatever. I’m just already grateful if you took the time to even read this post.

I’ll leave with some parting advice: fandom is what you make of it. We won’t all agree with everyone’s hot takes, but that’s the beauty of it, yeah? So I chose to create this version of Nico Kim that brings me IMMENSE joy. Like, A LOT!!! I love this fandom for these reasons. I’m grateful everyday for the friends I’ve made and the works and creations I’ve created and I’m honoured to be able to consume other works made by fellow fans.

I might hate a lot of things about grey’s and schmico, but I really owe a lot of myself to this fandom.

#know that i'm always angry but i know how to have fun lol #schmico::::

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maticide666 · 3 years

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my eurovision top 39 songs (finally)

anyway i finally got my top 39 completed. under a read more because it can get kinda long with the commentary i added klfdja;sflk (and by that i mean VERY long, maybe a wall of text if i have a lot to say about the song.)

none of this takes rehearsals into account.

basically, 39-37 i don't like, 36-35 are meh, 34-25 are decent, 24-18 are good, 17-12 i enjoy listening to a lot, 11-4 i love, and I would pay for votes for top 3 if i could.

39. Azerbaijan - Efendi - Mata Hari - Honestly, I kinda want to like this song. The instrumentation is nice, especially with the Azeri instruments. Efendi's vocals are ok during the verses. However, her vocals during the MA-MA-MA-MATA HARI part makes this song utterly unlistenable for me. It is just so distracting and ear-grating. Not great for my sensitive ears. And that is without taking anything else into account.

38. Estonia - Uku Suviste - The Lucky One - For some reason reminds me of a boring modern country song. Bland af. At least the melody of the chorus is nice.

37. Cyprus - Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo - Discount Lady Gaga at the best points of this song. Feels like three songs at once. Also, the lyrics seem like they just went all "What Spanish-sounding words sound spicy? Taco? Tamale? Mamacita?" As a Spanish speaker and as someone of Mexican descent who enjoys those foods, this annoys the living shit out of me. At least I can make El Diablo/Fallen Angel memes out of this. (Honestly, I don't mind the gratuitous Spanish with the words El Diablo.) Also, this song got real old real quick.

36. Slovenia - Ana Soklič - Amen - The gospel vibe is nice, but there is just too much Christianity in it for me to enjoy this song. Sorry, Ana.

35. Moldova - Natalia Gordienko - Sugar - Sounds like a sugary version of Siren Song by MARUV. Kinda boring, but enjoyable in the right circumstances.

34. Georgia - Tornike Kipiani - You - Good to listen to when mind feels blank. At first I kinda liked this song, but nowadays this song has lost its charm. This won't sound out of place alongside boring 70s slow classic rock songs.

33. Austria - Vincent Bueno - Amen - Not something I would listen to regularly, but still nice. For me, easily the biggest downgrade from 2020.

32. Greece - Stefania - Last Dance - Pleasant to listen to, not much else.

31. Portugal - The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side - Good song, but not my cup of tea. Unfortunately, some great songs have to be near the bottom of my ranking.

30. Germany - Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate - A fun song to listen to. The novelty wears off after a while. The feel good vibes and ukulele are nice.

29. Israel - Eden Alene - Set Me Free - the song release version was bland and boring, but the revamp. Now THAT is good stuff. The song doesn't seem so empty anymore. I miss the key change from the original, though.

28. Spain - Blas Cantó - Voy A Quedarme - A very emotional and beautiful song from Spain. Again, not usually my cup of tea. However, the melody somehow gives me a nostalgic vibe.

27. North Macedonia - Vasil - Here I Stand - DAMN Vasil has a lovely voice. Nice that he's showing it off here. Too slow of a song for me to enjoy regularly, though.

26. Albania - Anxhela Peristeri - Karma - I don't have much to say other than this song is nice.

25. Bulgaria - VICTORIA - Growing Up Is Getting Old - Pleasant to listen to, but depending on my mood I think this is a beautiful song but not my cup of tea or a complete snoozefest.

24. Serbia - Hurricane - Loco Loco - Fun song, but it feels like something is lacking, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

23. San Marino - Senhit - Adrenalina - Once the initial hype from Flo Rida being on the song died down, this became another typical Eurovision bop.

22. Sweden - Tusse - Voices - At first I thought the song was completely unremarkable and couldn't understand how this won Melodifestivalen. Nowadays it's a nice song to chill to. I gotta respect a perfect televote score from the national final.

21. Ireland - Lesley Roy - MAPS - nice.

20. Croatia - Albina - Tick Tock - Grew on me slightly. Shoutout for including a verse in Croatian.

19. Switzerland - Gjon's Tears - Tout l'Univers - Another grower for me. Doesn't hit as hard as his song from last year, but I dig it.

18. France - Barbara Pravi - Voilà - Lovely chanson right here. I wish it didn't take forever to pick up, though. I was about to completely give up on this song in the middle of my first listen. I'm glad I didn't.

17. Belgium - Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place - Classy. Not much else to say.

16. Ukraine - Go-A - Shum - I'd definitely go rave to this song. I kept finding this song hard to rank due to the white voice. I couldn't decide if I absolutely adored it or if I found it grating. Maybe I just wasn't feeling well when I first thought about it.

15. Lithuania - The Roop - Discoteque - Lots of fun, doesn't have the charm that On Fire had last year. I would dance to this song.

14. Poland - RAFAŁ - The Ride - I actually kinda like this song???? Even with Rafal's vocals??? I know he has political controversies, but I can't help but think this song is nice. A better, less controversial singer would benefit this song, though. I'm not counting the revamp just yet since it was released too recently.

13. Latvia - Samanta Tīna - The Moon Is Rising - This song gives me nostalgic mid to late 2000s hip hop vibes. The guitars in this song are lovely.

12. Romania - ROXEN - Amnesia - Definitely something that can put me in a trance if I'm in the right mood.

11. Czechia - Benny Cristo - omaga - Nice, catchy, I would dance to this.

10. Malta - Destiny - Je Me Casse - Damn, Destiny has a lovely voice! And the song itself is wonderful. I'm not a fan of the amount of Swedish talent being used instead of Maltese talent, but I really do enjoy listening to this.

9. Denmark - Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden - another really fun song! This really grew on me. Nowadays if I want to listen to a Eurovision song, this is one of the first songs I think of.

8. The Netherlands - Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age - I can vibe with this. You can hear the passion in this song. I wish I could let my body do the talking right now, but y'all can't see that with just a tumblr text post.

7. Russia - Manizha - Russian Woman - I was NOT expecting this to come out of Russia when it won the national final. I wasn't expecting to like this either. The message is great, the instrumental is great, everything about this is brilliant.

6. United Kingdom - James Newman - Embers - A funky song. I LOVE James's voice. Massive upgrade from last year in my opinion. I'm a sucker for brass in an upbeat song. Unfortunately, I have had the staging kinda spoiled and I am VERY skeptical about this coming out of bottom five. I'm done with the BBC.

5. Australia - Montaigne - Technicolour - There is a Lot happening in this song and I am all in for it. I'm kinda terrible at parsing lyrics, but it's a non-issue when I can follow Montaigne's voice and forget about the lyrics. Ironically enough, it's Montaigne's voice that also worries me this Eurovision season - mostly whether she was able to pull off her live on tape performance off.

4. Iceland - Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years - I didn't think Daði could pull it off against this year, but he did it. I like this just a little more than Think About Things, which was my favorite song last year. I'm still a little gutted that this pandemic robbed him of a probable victory, but I've made peace with it. I still need to learn the dance moves, though.

3. Italy - Måneskin - Zitti E Buoni - FUCK YEAH A KICKASS ROCK SONG IN EUROVISION! This song gave me massive rock en español vibes on my fist listen, and honestly this is something I would bang my head to if I had the same body I did when I was 15.

2. Norway - TIX - Fallen Angel - I was not expecting to like this song much, let alone becoming THIS obsessed with TIX. In fact, he wasn't even on my radar for winning MGP. I listened to Ut Av Mørket for the first time and thought something like 'this is boring af, but at least it's in Norwegian'. And then he changed it to English, which I wasn't a fan of at first. And then one day the lyrics clicked - especially with my own struggles with mental illness. To this day this is one of only two Eurovision songs to actually make me cry. Even now he still isn't my MGP winner (that honor goes to JORN), but he has definitely won my heart.

1. Finland - Blind Channel - Dark Side - To say that this song kicks ass would be an understatement for me. This song has just the right mix of rock, pop, and even metal. Ever since I found out that this song would be in the national final, I knew that it would be my favorite this whole Eurovision season regardless of who won UMK. Yes, my jaw dropped when I saw the lead Blind Channel had in UMK. I literally cancelled my plans to watch the MGP final live because of these guys. I am not disappointed. Even Måneskin couldn't bring these guys down in my ranking. And while the lyrics might be a bit iffy, they did get me through rough times. I hope these guys are able to bring rock music back like they want to. But for now, I will give them my (useless tbh) douze points.

#eurovision #esc #this post took me two days #and even longer to actually rank everything #mostly because half the time i couldn't decide which song i liked more #so something gerbear's sorter couldn't help with #i'm tired rn #of course my top 3 is predictable

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acommonloon · 3 years

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TL;DR

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints

Yes, another Billy Joel song but this one was elicited not only by the name of the place but the lyric was painted on the wall.

<eye roll> be better

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This place was on my radar for some time but not nearly so long as the Cock & Bull still, I was probably more excited for it. I follow several websites posting about food and drink in the Cincy area. At some point this place drew my attention for its Texas style barbecue. This Texas BBQ, like North Carolina pulled pork, is something I am always seeking but rarely never finding. Last October I ate "Texas style" BBQ from a couple running a food truck in Cincy. They were setting up in Cincy's only Belgium Brewery (Humble Monk) on a Saturday and that combo of two my favorite things was too much to resist. Also, D had left to spend the week at the beach so I needed something to tempt my anxious mind. The brisket was mushy and the jalapeno potato salad was bland <sigh> oh well, it filled the hole and the beer was good.

Despite my anticipation, walking into Sinners and Saints, something seemed off. I paused to take a pic of the sign and something about the entry struck a discordant note. This continued to resonate even as the bartender greeted us and welcomed us to sit anywhere. We chose the bar - of course. There was only one other customer and he was watching the game. The place was smallish but they had four large HiDef TVs near the ceiling above the bar and all were tuned to baseball, alternating the Reds game and the Astros. Holy frijoles!

I was particularly interested in the Reds game because they are my favorite National League team (since 75') and my tumblr friend @lunasong365 was at the game. It's a rare experience for me to be in a bar with the baseball game already on. Usually I have to ask to put it on. Even rarer, both the bartender and the only customer were closely following the game. Can't remember that happening ever in the market where I drink. So what was wrong with this place? I wasn't really thinking about it.

They had 20 beer taps, most were craft beer and a good selection of whiskey on the bar. The bartender was friendly and when she asked if we knew what we wanted to eat, I said I came for the BBQ. If she had been busy or less friendly, I'd have merely ordered but, as she seemed (pretended?) to be interested I said I'd been following them for awhile and I was hoping their Texas-style BBQ would fill my craving. I said, most places overcook their brisket and its mushy soft. That's how people like it where I live...now. Also, I was intrigued by the sausage on their menu. It was house made and there was a spicy version. Texas sausage is another thing I miss.

While waiting for our food, a black man and his two teenage daughters came in. Their conversation took place at the other end of the bar but I supposed (hoped) they were ordering BBQ. I'm sure it's stereotyping but most of the best BBQ I've ever eaten was made by black men. I took it as a good sign. I do bemoan the loss of the BBQ Jew at Smoketown USA. Also, the folks at Butchertown Hall in Nashville, where the inside looks like it was designed by Ikea, can Q.

Anyway so how was it? Good enough to take home the leftovers but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wanted Texas style BBQ. The brisket was overcooked but not mushy. No noticeable smoke ring but good flavor. Rachel said it was cooked 14 hours which is about 5 hours too long in my estimation. In retrospect, I didn't notice smoke pouring from any part of the property so, I don't even know that it was cooked over wood. The sausage was nicely spiced but the texture was soft. It reminded me of the texture of goetta, a Cincy-sentric sausage incorporating oats. Rachel said she thought they ground the meat too finely. She also thought it could use more spice. They should listen to her. Well, for my tastes.

To be successful, you have to sell what customers want. If they don't buy the English beer at the English pub, give them Guinness and call it a day. If I lived nearby, I'd drink and watch the games at Sinners and Saints. They have local craft beer on tap and I noticed they had a Texas whiskey from Balcones on the bar I wasn't familiar with. After looking it up, Rachel said a 1 1/2 ounce shot was $8.

Give me a shot...neat, I added. I've ordered whiskey in bars in Louisville for years. I instinctively evaluate my bartender as I'm sure they measure me. The best ones do. In any case, I wasn't clear on Rachel so I asked if she had a wide glass she could put it in. She held up a standard rocks glass and I nodded. Perfect. Then things seemed to go off the rails a bit.

I watched bemused as she put the rocks glass and a shot glass next to each other on the back bar. I thought, perhaps she'll measure the whiskey in the shot glass by eye but, then she pulled out a jigger. She proceeded to scoop the rocks glass full of ice. Ooookay! I was very interested to see just what she was going to do. Maybe I was going to learn something. Maybe she would shake my whiskey in the ice but strain it. That's known as "Up" and I wouldn't mind that. Maybe I was going to get the whiskey in a glass of crushed ice. Not what I wanted but TBH I was in a tolerant mood. I'd rather laugh.

She measured the whiskey in the jigger and poured it into the shot glass then she put both the ice filled rocks glass and the shot on the bar in front of me.

I looked at D and she looked at me and she shrugged as if, now what you going to do? Want me to pour the ice into my water glass? she asked. My hero! that would be great. I don't mind a chilled glass, hell I don't mind a chilled whiskey, I just don't want it watered down in a glass full of ice. You don't taste cold things as well.

When Rachel came back I asked, "So, how long have you guys been here?"

"Since October." Rachel replied

#milo greene #all righty then #that explains it

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ootori-sibs · 3 years

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Kyoya's second shot

Episode six: Kyoya's willing day out, part two!

Tamaki's food platter:

They went around the isles, starting with the sweets, Tamaki took a long time examining each treat, giving it great thought as Kyoya simply picked up a small bar of white chocolate, "your rose colour is white is it not?"

"Oh! Good point Kyoya! Write that down!"

• White chocolate (as per rose colour)

A problem arose when Tamaki found crown shaped gummies and rose shaped ones, he was having a bit of trouble deciding between that. Kyoya sighed and leaned against the wall, watching Tamaki's lovely thinking expression, the way his face screws up is so cute and Kyoya feels all his worries melting away as the idiot debates himself.

"Well personally, I think you should go for the roses, and maybe if you can't decide on a fifth, get the crown's as well?" Kyoya gave his input, barely glancing at Tamaki as the king glanced back at him.

"Ohh, maybe, I like that idea." Tamaki smiled softly, "you're always so smart!"

Kyoya felt a little fuzzy at that, loving it when Tamaki gave him positive attention- sometimes he thought maybe he was just in love with the praise…

• Rose shaped gummies

They turned a corner and came across little iced cookies covered in yellow icing, shaped like little crowns even. Tamaki gasped softly, turning to look at Kyoya, "these are perfect aren't they? Ooh, there are silver ones too! We could put those in yours!" He smiles, gesturing to the same shaped cookies with grey icing now, Kyoya found it amusing how much Tamaki liked the title Kyoya had been given… the shadow king, Kyoya supposed that was the closest to queen he was ever going to get.

• Crown shaped cookies with yellow icing (matching the grey ones I will have)

Another strange thing they noticed were these little white balls that seemed to be… milk gummies of some sort, neither Kyoya nor Tamaki could figure out what they were exactly, so of course they went on the list.

• Milk gummies

They found little candy hearts with little messages written on them, Tamaki instantly fell in love with them, reading off as many as he could find. "Ooh! Kyoya we simply have to get some of these!"

"Hm, but some of them are a little crude." Kyoya had definitely just read one referencing sex, he had no idea commoners could be so crude. He tapped his pen on his book slowly, rhymically, it helped him to focus on what was being said.

"Well we could clarify we don't want any crude ones? I would hate to offend the ladies but I have a feeling they'd love these adorable little candies!"

Kyoya almost chuckled at that, letting out a little amused huff through his smirk, "I'll put it on the list then."

• Heart candies with messages on (no crude ones)

That completed Tamaki's list, Kyoya shut his book, making his way to the counter when Tamaki grabbed his wrist, "come on Kyoya, did you forget about yourself?" Oh, he must have. That's the trouble with being forgotten until last on the list, you forget you were ever on it.

"Ah yes, of course. Well we know at least one of the things on the list, what else do you propose?"

Kyoya's food platter:

• The crown shaped cookies with grey icing (so as to match Tamaki's)

Tamaki smiled, chuckling and looking around at the sweets in the isle, "you're not a fan of sweet things, but there are these strange little lavender flavoured candies you might like?" He held up a small packet for Kyoya to examine, he did like the colour, and how on earth would commoner eat flowers, how odd.

"Commoners even eat flowers now? I thought they grew them for the sight, not for fun."

Tamaki nodded, frowning, "oh those poor creatures! Do you think we should let Haruhi take the roses home with her after sessions?"

"Hmmm, I feel she might be insulted if we did that." Kyoya shrugged, writing it on the list.

• Lavender candies (do commoners eat flowers?)

They made a b-line to the savory section after that, looking around at all the food there. Kyoya was rather interested by the tiny pies no bigger than the mini cupcakes on the list for Honey, but the pies didn't fit his theme at all, so he moved his gaze elsewhere. There were pastries stuffed with curry, and as much as he loved spicy food, he didn't think the ladies would appreciate breathing fire, no matter how figurative it was.

"Ooh, come look at this one Kyoya, it's a little pie!" Tamaki was over, looking at a collection of open pies, filled with a strange mixture of meat, fruit and spices. It smelled amazing.

"It looks very nice, but I'm not sure it would match my theme much." He spoke his mind, glancing over to the basket next to the pies, spotting some fresh bread coated in sunflower seeds. "Oh, but this on the other hand is better fit."

"It's… bread?" Tamaki looked over, his disdain for the plain taste of his vice, "isn't that a bit… bland?"

Oh. Oh dear. Kyoya would never want Tamaki to think less of him, but he couldn't help but bristle at the strange sort of tone Tamaki had taken, what offence was meant by that? "What's that supposed to mean?" His tone was automatically harsh, in a way that made Tamaki glance up at him with wide eyes.

"Oh… oh I didn't mean- I mean, well- the guests might not enjoy such uh- lack of flavour..?" Clearly, something in Kyoya's tone or expression had sent Tamaki into a panic. Kyoya sighed, looking down in shame, he loved being bitter sure- but he'd made Tamaki panic…

"It doesn't matter, it's just bread Tamaki, calm down." He glances away, not meeting Tamaki's eyes, "just get whatever you think will fit."

Tamaki sighs, standing up and grabbing Kyoya by the wrist, moving his hand up to close around Kyoya's own, he smiles softly, "oh come on Kyoya, you know I love you, you're my best friend. You know what? It's not like you talk to the ladies as much as everyone else, let's get that bread, hm?" Kyoya nodded, watching Tamaki head to the other end of the isle, he let out a breath- he hadn't even noticed he'd been holding it… he could feel himself swoon, oh this was new…

"Oh. Wow…" Kyoya felt his face burning up, he almost wondered if the makeup might melt. But he sighed- more of a heavy exhale then anything, looked down at his book, adding the new point.

• Sunflower seed bread

He went over to look at what Tamaki was examining, bread baked around a bit of steak- Kyoya hadn't even realised commoners could afford steak, how strange, commoners had a lot more than he'd previously thought…

"It's not real steak," Tamaki must have overheard him, Kyoya glanced at him, knelt down, he was reading the labels on the baskets, "it's some sort of commoners version, only comes in well done."

"Only comes in well done? What kind of barbaric…" Kyoya shook his head, sighing at the thought of something so strange.

"Maybe the ladies would appreciate learning how commoners take their steaks?"

"What? You want to poison them?"

Tamaki just raised an eyebrow, smiling up at him. Kyoya rolls his eyes, "oh, *I* want to poison them, alright then, I'll put it on the list." He chuckles, appreciating the king's stupid sense of humour.

• Bread covered steak (made the commoner way)

"Right," Tamaki stood up, stretching, "only one more thing then we can go and get lunch, all this looking at food is making me hungry." Kyoya had to nod at that, he hadn't eaten breakfast this morning, he hadn't exactly eaten anything yesterday either… god he was actually really hungry now he thought about it. He should definitely probably eat more, but he just never had time, it wasn't like he didn't have more important things to do most of the time, food was just a distraction in all reality, but he supposed he did kind of need to to survive-

"Oh hey! Chilli chocolate!" Tamaki was… where was he? Kyoya wandered towards his voice, finding him in the sweets isle, holding what looked like a bar of dark chocolate. He smiled when he saw Kyoya, showing him the bar, "it's like chocolate but it's got chilli flakes in it! Aren't commoners so smart?" Kyoya smiled softly, nodding.

"They really are, shall I put it on the list?"

"Do you want to?" He was so sweet, so caring, Kyoya couldn't help but fall in love with every word spoken, but of course he couldn't say that.

"I'll be honest, I really just want to get lunch now." He couldn't stop himself sounding a little impatient, his stomach growling just as he said that, as if to prove his point- he would have gotten slightly flushed if it wasn't for the makeup. He quickly finished the list so he wouldn't have to look Tamaki in the face.

• Chilli chocolate

"Aww!" Tamaki seemed to think it wasn't deserving of shame, but endearing instead, "you should have *said* something Kyoya! We could've gone earlier- when was the last time you ate anything?" He put a hand on Kyoya's shoulder, smiling at him, "let's order our platters then we can go and find somewhere to grab lunch."

Kyoya nodded, heading to the country and putting down his book with the pages open to the lists, "take a photo, I'm not tearing my book." The girl at the counter nods, pulling out her phone and taking a picture.

"Alright sirs, just scan your card and leave your number and/or email address so we can contact you for pick up." She seems slightly concerned by the duo, but smiles sweetly either way. Tamaki swiped the club card whilst Kyoya noted down his email, he'd be the one focusing on the behind the scenes stuff after all. The moment that was done, and the cashier had thanked them, Tamaki grabbed Kyoya's arm gently.

"Come on then! Let's go get lunch!" He beams at his vice, clearly still very excited, "I wanna go to a commoners cafe!"

Who was Kyoya to deny that? They soon found themselves sitting inside a ridiculously small cafe, the entire cafe about the size of the club room- maybe smaller. The smell of coffee and warm food made Kyoya even more hungry, he was beginning to have hunger pangs, though he wouldn't want to admit to such weakness. "What do you want to get then?" Tamaki was smiling over at him, holding the little menu, "they've got sandwiches and things like that, it's all so cute!"

Kyoya hummed in agreement, not really paying attention, "just get whatever you think is good." He didn't really know much about food if he was honest, he just wanted to eat something at this point. Tamaki nodded, standing up to go and order, commoners were so strange, there weren't even any waiters here. He just sighed, gazing over to watch Tamaki order, he was accidentally wooing the poor cashier here as well, it wasn't Tamaki's fault he was so handsome, so polite and so very charming, accidentally charming everyone he came into contact with- kyoya included. He couldn't help but to admire the way he stood, the way he spoke… everything about him exuded that princely charm he claimed to have, but Kyoya would never concede that Tamaki was right.

He was just happily admiring Tamaki when said man returned to the table, smiling softly with two cups of coffee, placing one down in front of Kyoya. He watched Kyoya pick the cup up with shaking hands, "I got us both some toasted sandwiches; cheese, ham and tomato. Doesn't that sound nice?" Kyoya nodded, slowly sipping the warm drink he had been handed, Tamaki's smile was truly his favourite thing, it made all of this so worth it.

He sighed softly, forcing a smile, he may as well put his plan into action. "Your smile is nicer when it's genuine, Tamaki," he pauses, he didn't want Tamaki to realise he was coming on to him, "the girls might notice the difference between that and your regular charming one." He refused to meet Tamaki's eyes, glancing back to see the counter, where the cashier was taking someone else's order.

He could hear Tamaki chuckle, a wonderful sound, "you think so? Well believe it or not, hanging out with my bestest friend is a lot more enjoyable than catering to those wonderful ladies."

Kyoya paused, he could almost feel his heart skip at those words, his grip on his coffee tightened as he swallowed weakly, "the guests must not be that important to you if I rank over them." He knew he was barely anything without his name, so to hear Tamaki actually say that spending time with him was more enjoyable then hosting, it made his heart flutter beyond anything before that.

Tamaki looked at Kyoya in great interest, "Kyoya… are you feeling alright? Of course you're more important to me then the guests, you're my best friend, why would you think otherwise?"

Oh no, Kyoya didn't expect the king to see straight through him like that- Tamaki always saw the truth at the most inopportune times. He couldn't just admit the whole low self-esteem thing to him, nor the excruciating crush, so he bristled slightly, frowning. "You know that I mean, idiot."

There was a pause, but before Tamaki could respond, someone came over with their food, Tamaki thanked them and pushed one of the plates towards Kyoya. Oh thank god, Kyoya was starving. He bit into the food like a fucking savage, not caring so much for etiquette when he hadn't eaten for at least two days. It wasn't like Tamaki even cared, if anything, he found it amusing.

"Quite peckish weren't you? When was the last time you ate?" He said it in a joking way, not at all serious… but that got Kyoya thinking… he couldn't actually remember eating anything after that small bowl of commoner's ramen- oh god that was a week ago.

"About a week ago." He answered just as casually as the question was asked, taking a few more bites of the toasted sandwich, either it was the starvation talking, or this was a damn good sandwich; the tomato juice was hot and the cheese was lovely and melty and greasy, the ham just added a nice texture, it was nothing like the high class food he was used to, but just like that burger Haruhi had bought him at the mall, it was incredibly satisfying in a strange way.

He glanced up for just a moment, noticing that Tamaki had stopped eating, and was just sitting, staring at him in concern. Kyoya made a small hum, inquiring what the issue was without having to speak, choosing instead to take a bite of his second sandwich. He kept his gaze on Tamaki however, watching the worry on the other boy's expression.

"Kyoya…" Tamaki began, voice, for some reason shaking, "why haven't you been eating..? What's wrong..?"

Kyoya paused, frowning… did Tamaki think there was something wrong with him? He sounded so worried, so scared for him…. He frowned, shrugging it off, "I've simply been busy, you really shouldn't worry about such trivial things." He was aware Tamaki was frowning at him, but forced himself to ignore it, moving his attention back to his food.

Tamaki sighed, Kyoya couldn't see his expression at the moment, but it was safe to assume he wasn't happy. Kyoya didn't want to look him in the eyes, he didn't understand why he felt such immense guilt over this, he'd hurt Tamaki in worse ways soon to come- but this genuinely hurt so much more… Tamaki cared enough to be pained on his behalf.

After they had their lunch, they took to wandering around the shops, commoners were so ingenious when it came to their tiny shops and how much they could hold. Tamaki got excited over every little thing, and Kyoya had to say he was so happy to see him smile, every time the king turned to him with a great big smile, some new trinket in his hands, Kyoya felt a warm, fuzzy feeling inside his chest… he supposed he knew this feeling, though not two years ago it was unknown to him… this was love, in its purest form.

3:01 - Today is wonderful, I ate for the first time since last Friday. Tamaki is so lovely, truly an angel.

It was late in the afternoon when they decided to head back, they got the same limo, deciding they'd head to Tamaki's place. Kyoya was silent the entire ride there, was his plan working? He really didn't know, today had been a bit of an emotional one. He spent most of the ride just watching Tamaki, he was incredibly attractive and in all honesty; Kyoya thought he was the most attractive when he wasn't showing off.

Then they stepped out of the limo onto the driveway, Tamaki frowned, "hey Kyoya? Haruhi hadn't been responding to my texts, any idea why?" Kyoya instantly bristled, ah yes, he'd forgotten that little detail, but if he had any luck, she'd have forgotten about Tamaki in lieu of Arai right now.

"Oh you shouldn't worry about her so much, you know how she gets," he sighs, heading up the path, "she can be awfully cruel with you at times, she probably has her phone switched off. Forget about it for the afternoon, why don't you? You can always talk to her tomorrow." It was a daring thing for Kyoya to say, but Tamaki didn't seem to realise exactly what he'd said.

They were sitting in Tamaki's room, Antoinette was curled up on Tamaki's lap, and Kyoya couldn't help but envy her… god help him, he was jealous of a dog. He sighed, laying down, his head resting on the pillow Tamaki had used just last night, he could even see one of his hairs there, it made him so warm and fuzzy inside just to think about Tamaki sleeping there, so angelically.

"Is there anything you wanna do?" Tamaki broke the silence, smiling over at him, "we could play chess, take Antoinette for a walk, or-"

"Mhm," Kyoya responded, shifting very slightly in the bed, looking over at Tamaki, "forgive me, but I'm a little tired, is that anything less excited you can think of?" He wasn't lying, he felt exhausted, today had been the biggest exertion of energy since before the summer holidays, so he was… well a little unused to getting so much fresh air.

Tamaki paused, tilting his head, "hm? Well I suppose we could watch a movie or two if you want?" Kyoya simply nodded in response, watching as Tamaki had gotten up to look at what movies he owned. Going through the list, Kyoya helped him narrow it down to a shortlist of horrors and Disney movies, maybe one or two romances- he wasn't fond of them, but Kyoya had to admit it would be a great chance to make a move.

They lay under the covers, Tamaki had laid out a ridiculous amount of snacks, insisting Kyoya eat something, but he really didn't mind, he was a little hungry still, maybe. Tamaki had put his arm around Kyoya, removing the need for Kyoya to even make a move. They sat there together watching movie after movie until late into the night, Tamaki had even had the maids bring them dinner in bed. "Anything to make sure my best friend's ok," is what he'd said, and Kyoya ignored the friend part to focus on how much Tamaki cared about him, if Haruhi had been in his position, Tamaki would have called the whole club in to help, but with Kyoya, it was just him- Kyoya was special, whether Tamaki realised it or not: Kyoya was winning

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host club #tamakyo #tamaki souh #kyoyassecondshot #Second

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vitalpen · 4 years

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And it is done.

Aight, that was good. A nice cathartic way to end that.

After a fight with Bumby the Dollmaker, Real World Alice and Wonderland Alice collide, and suddenly Bumby has to face a version of the girl that’s a hundred times more ruthless than what he’s been dealing with:

She’s still broken, but broken in the best way she can be. Sense enough to understand she’s mad, but gall enough not to care.

There was only ever going to be one end for Bumby, no one commits the violence he does without someday finding it coming home to roost.

And like many of his ilk, the end came just at the precipice of new beginnings.

(Read those last three paragraphs like the Cat for added effect.)

So it seems like Wonderland was more powerful than we thought, as I’m pretty sure that Alice actually fused the real world with it. And that’s a really awesome concept.

I do have some issues that I want to air out though. I think the platforming took a bit too much forefront, the combat got repetitive, and the environments were a little lackluster.

On a visual level, I love this game. particularly near the start and near the end. The valley you first arrive in, the Hatter’s fortress, The cards in the sky, the Red Queens Castle, and the Dollhouse were all pretty great. Tea Cup Land and Unda Da Sea had some cool stuff going on, but for the most part, they were fairly bland (to me at least).

I also thought the flutter and glide platforming was a really cool idea and used pretty effectively in several points, but I couldn’t help but feel like every level was more or less a series of platforms that I’m jumping between more often than walking. McGee had platforming, but everything there was still arranged in a way that felt like a place that existed instead of just a platforming stage.

The way combat was handled also wasn’t my favorite. While it was by no means good in McGee (there came a point where running past enemies was the real way to play), I did really appreciate the uniqueness and variation of that game’s tool set. In Madness Returns it’s mostly the knife, sometimes the pepper grinder, rarely the teapot, and almost never the hobby horse (which is a real shame cuz that thing looks rad when you upgrade it). The combat arenas also didn’t really suit me very well. I know it was a big convention at the time, but it’s another blow to the uniqueness of the series.

Finally, there is one minigame that I liked. The chess stuff was cool, it was a neat little puzzle. The shootemup boat section was slow and frustrating, the paper art in Tea Cup Land was pretty uninteresting, and the rolling doll head were was just not fun. It feels like they should’ve been dropped and work focused elsewhere.

In general, Madness Returns definitely fixed a lot of the issues that McGee had, but in doing so lost some of the uniqueness.

I love the story though, even if it had some hiccups here and there. It took us a while to get to the really twisted stuff, but when we got there, we really got there.

Walking through the asylum is easily the best part of the Real World Alice segments. And the acknowledgement that she was more aware of what Bumby was doing than she thought she was but shut it out is an interesting wrinkle to introduce. Alice is absolved of guilt for her family’s death, but she (arguably) is not entirely without fault. Once she owns up to that, she truly starts to gain control, moreso than she had before, if the ending isn’t just her hallucinating.

And as I understand it, she’s not. When looking it up, I became aware of the two animated shorts that Spicy Horse made as sequels for it as well as Alice: Asylum.

I don’t think that second one is going to go anywhere, it feels like it would’ve by now, but those shorts I’m very interested in. No idea how to track’em down so I’m gonna have to look into that. I’ll probably end up talking about those too here.

If anyone knows where I can find those, that’d be rad.

#American McGee's Alice #alice: madness returns #cap plays alice: madness returns

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guardianofmemes · 5 years

Text

fallout 4 companions best to worst

with funny images at the start of each character review! DLC companions included! also BIG TIME SPOILERS FOR FALLOUT 4 OKAY 3 2 1 GOOOO!

1. nick valentine - clockwork PI

positives: he’s a robot detective who loves neon and smokes even though he has no lungs you know he’s a man who appreciates aesthetic.

negatives: none

2. old longfellow - old salty

positive: grandpa time. he's perfect. this man is everyone's rough and tumble but supportive grandfather. he's a rough block of wood, well worn and with a sense of humor, drinking habits, great dialogue, fantastic personality and can follow you around, he never outwears his welcome. he can even follow you around the commonwealth. rivals nick valentine for best companion to me.negative: i can't really think of ANY.

3. codsworth - lovable orb

positives: truly a stalwart companion, never abandons you, waited 2 centuries for the player character. it made me upset you couldn't romance them, the character who truly had a connection with you. they're fantastic and the top 3 was a REALLY close call.

negatives: cannot romance, wHY TODD YOU COWARD

4. preston garvey - minutemen general

positive: i can't even bring myself to post a jokey image for him he's just that good. god his character is good. he's a broken man, but he still doesn't stop helping others, or giving up hope. he's truly a good person, but not unrealistic. he has his limits, and can bend and break. and unlike other companions strangely, he DOES have more loyalty breaking points than the others, like if you side with raiders he will shoot you on sight. unless you deviate from the carefully curated quest paths in which case aaaaaaa also his backstory good, and i like how he faces his inner demons, altho i wish he'd just take the mantle of general. he honestly deserves it.

DOWNSIDES: ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEdS OUR HELP. making any companion a never ending, radiant quest hub, is a BAD FECKIN IDEA BOYO. BUCKO ITS A BAD IDEA. as a result of him being a radiant quest hub, its the onbly thing people know about him, care about, and experience while in game, because before and after every character interaction is something about his radiant quest hub quests. also romancing him feels HORRIBLE just like mac cready.

5. john maccready - ratface

positives: Positives, I like snarky mercs. And he had real Scout vibes.Honestly if you forget he existed in any other fallout games, on his own he's a decent companion. I like having him around, he's like that coworker of yours who keeps stealing office supplies but he always has spare smokes if you ask. honestly maccready is like if you dipped piper in the FEV. he's just a better version of her. she's too heavy handed i'm sorry

negative: again bethesda's bad design about being afraid of upsetting consumers. because once you finish his personal quest, spoilers getting the cure for his infant son's sickness, he should IMMEDAITELY RETURN TO HIS SON. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE MAC AND CHEESE. GO RAISE YOUR SON. also romancing him just feels dirty and manipulative. this MAN IS CLEARLY STILL GREIVING FOR HIS DEAD WIFE!!! most of the romance paths honestly feel dirty and manipulative to me, like you're taking advantage of their friendship and trust in you

6. Ada - actual wife

positives: i love robots and this is like if curie didn't suck and wasn't born sexy yesterday. she has a character arc and is cool and has personality and also she's made of different robot parts when she starts out and that's cool. her story is good and even her generic lines are charming.

negatives: after the mechanist dlc is over she has no more unique cool things to say, and its sad they didn't prepare enough dialogue for her

7. john danse - paladin pants

positives: danse is a trooper, he's a boot boy yeah. in literal apocalypse land tho, understandable. also he is loyal to his team and anyone he considers his friends. once he spoilers is exiled from the brotherhood for being a synth and loses his way he does lose some of his hangups, becomes a more thoughtful person. his character arc is good, i like how he ends up.

negatives: holy fuck my cat just jumped in my lap he's like my way or the highway haha. anyways back to pants paladin. like i said he has some hangups, aka his racism from living in the brotherhood, a proto-fascist military cult. but honestly this doesn't make him a bad character, and he does get better from it. i'm gonna be real here the only negative about him is again, THE ROMANCE PATH. IT FEELS SO NEGATIVE AND DIRTY AND MANIPULATIVE. like i see people say he's a bad character but no he's just a bad person. and even then, he does learn and adapt.you can have characters who aren't good people in your stories

8. piper - waifu bait

positive: extra extra read all about it, the tracer of fallout 4 not totally a bad thing tho, she's just.obviously the companion you're supposed to like the most.

negative: her quirkiness has its charms but it can be KINDA much sometimes. also she’s obvious waifu bait. however in the end she's really more a person i'd want to argue with as a friend and hang just chill around she's pushy tho and i don't like being railroaded into certain quests or storybeats.

9. dog - dog

positive: dog is dog

negative: is not robot detective or butler, but is still good

10. deacon - MY EYES!!!

positives: charming spy man, so deep in the weeds he doesn't even know his own past or even if he's a synth. that's quirky and cute. he also has that very obvious spy charm of, his disguise is just him wearing clothes. iits funny like superman putting glasses on.

negatives: honestly he's just kinda bland. he's such a mystery wrapped in an enigma locked in a puzzlebox owned by that demon guy with the needles in his head, that there's nothing to know about him. really i can't figure him out. or get to know him.then again some of that is due to trust issues. i mean neat character trait but there's not much for me to consume here.

11. john hancock - anarcho beef jerky

positive: he's a pretty free wheeling kinda dude and i like that, he stands up against bad authority, to an extent, and that's where some of my issues crop up

negative: it could also be blamed on shitty bethesda afraid you wouldn't do certain content if it locked you out of your favorite companions, but he'll stand with you through allying with the institute, the brotherhood, anyone. also his anarchist leadership style has resulted in a lot of issues for his community he doesn't seem keen on fixing or reflecting on anytime soon. also constant substance abuse and he'll encourage you to take on the party hardy lifestyle tooi just look at freeside i mean goodneighbor i mean freeside and i think "man you're supposed to be the king i mean the mayor you should do better". ripoff of the king i'm gonna rip off the bandaid tbh, not even as cool as the king. the king really looked out for freesiders while hancock kinda just... meanders about the place. being mayor with no authority on purpose just makes you, a guy who kills people sometimes.

12. automatron - build-a-bear workshop BUT WITH GUN

positive: there's a few distinct personality modules and voice actors for the automatron companions, each one is enjoyable, i liked them, and they were all different from each other. i consider them like mini companions. plus being able to build your very own custom robots with any parts you want is the most epic part of this companion.

negative: the dialogue for the voice actor packs is pretty limited, like pretty limited. not a lot to hear before they loop. i'd have to say these are more neutral than even X6-88 for me

13. X6-88: oh that uniquely named courser that showed up as i destroyed the institute, wait he was a companion???

positives:

okay negatives time

negatives:for real tho he's just uh, again kind of a Nothing character. not as disappointing as Strong tho. As an institute courser he's just... well he just Is. he exists. doesn't really question his nature tho, or consider what life would be like outside the institute... its like if Danse had no character arc at all and spoilers just stayed in the brotherhood like a good proto-fascist feudalistic power armored boot boy. he feels like a quota like todd howard walked in the design room and said "we need an institute companion" and then the designers said "... fuck. we're almost done with the game's story okay lets cook something up". i'd have to say he's perfectly average. he's like the bland guy from the wendys commercials about how spicy their chicken is

14. porter gage - why do i keep stepping on this rake

positives: his armor looks cool, and his voice actor is good. i like that a raider character is portrayed by a sneaky advisor type instead of just a chest beating tough guy on chems. porter is an interesting take, and his motivations and methods are interesting.

negatives: his motivations don't make sense though. he's seen over and over in his life that raiders simply are unsustainable and don't work, always breaking apart. yet he... still wants to be a raider, and advise raider gangs? it doesn't make sense. also if you buddy up with him preston will hate you, and you have to eliminate your OWN settlements in the commonwealth. sorry porter but i'm not willing to make that kind of sacrifice at all. he's alright as a character but not really deep. having a backstory doesn't mean you're deep, that's Bethesda Deep™. Bad, no. Die now with the rest of nuka world, gage.

15. strong - fallout 3 was a mistake

positives: non-human companion, i like that. super mutants are always cool

negatives: lumpy and misshappen as fuck oh god he's like a slab of moldy ribs. also his character? what character? he's just a bog standard super mutant, not even a cool one from the west coast. he's just an orc, a raider painted green with half a brain and a penchant for eating people. he doesn't change or evolve, he's just. he's a Nothing character.

16. curie - born french yesterday

positives: so i guess i should start with the positives since that's a trend in this list now. positives! robot, and one that's both aware of how the world's dead but wants to learn, and make it better. i always like robots, and well. uh. robot. i'm out of positives now.

negatives: she is the living embodiment of th e born sexy yesterday trope. profoundly naive, yet unimaginably wise. and spoilers once she gets a SEXAYYYYY human bod from a braindead synth, her naive nature is played up even further as WHAT EEZ DIS STRANGE FEELING UWU I FEEL HORMONE AND LUUUV its bad, its bad its bad. french maid plus nurse wrapped into one, with the mind of a child, aka its the born sexy yesterday trope. and you can only fuc once she's out of the robot body and this makes betheseda COWARDS. LET ME HAVE MY ROBOTS.

17. cait - drug

positive:

negative: commit go away from my game. rude, not fun to be around, substance abuse storyline is NOT handled well. also in boston the one irish character is all fucked up come on man.

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synthetic-sonata · 6 years

Note

🔥 (paswg and danganronpa)

AAAAAAA!!! Anon bless your goddamn heart

UHH

Ok this might get rambly or turn into headcanons bc I love both of these

Also they may not be that unpopular I just like to ramble sometimes but Im gunna try to make it at least slightly unpopular

Also spoilers prob inbound so im just gunna

🔥🔥 Danganronpa 🔥🔥

- V3 is the only Danganronpa where I like every character. Tsumugis a bit bland but that’s how she’s supposed to be, and she isn’t necessarily a horrible character and her free time are kinda cool. Yes, I also like Miu, Gonta, Korey, Angie, and Ouma. (the characters people are generally iffy on although I know a lot of people are also iffy on tsumugi, tenko, himiko, kaede / shuichi, maki, kaito,…. basically everyone)

- The one hundred thousand debates between Kokichi don’t bother me that much (Like the mistranslation and misdrawing of the fifth trial)

- Ok do not slap me before you read all of this but Gontouma is good;; when it’s platonic.

- I don’t actually like Saiouma or Oumami. Saiouma just feels wrong somehow, and Oumami feels like its incest bc of the brother relationship HC / thing people have adopted into canon. I don’t have anything against ppl who ship them though.

- This isn’t an opinion but for some reason SDR2 just kinda skipped my watch list. I got into DR by V3, and watched THH and V3, and I’ve began to watch a series for SDR2 but dropped it. Although I’ve spoiled all of them ahead of time and know their personalities so I still know what happens.

- There isn’t a murder I neccessarily dislike

- Literally nobody calls Korekiyo Korey despite him saying it was also a good nickname but call him Kiyo instead LIKE I AT LEAST EXPECTED OUMA OR GONTA TO ONCE

————————–

🔥🔥 PaSWG 🔥🔥

( this is more rambly ig )

- This isn’t neccessarily unpopular but uhh Japanese was the inferior version and I also dislike Briefs voice in japanese

- I like the sisters equally, it’s like a dan and arin thing if you remove one of them they don’t work that well. I mean, yeah Panty can also work well with Briefs cautious and anxious nature, but Panty is mainly Stockings opposite so them constantly clashing with eachother physically and with their personalities works better imo. I relate to stocking more bc uhh I love sugar and I dislike spicy shit but I still like them equally.

- adding onto that, I like Stockings design more a bit because if Pantys hair always looked how it did in Panty + Brief it’d be the same for both,, idk i dont like how her hair looks defaultly with the fringe thing

- No matter what Brief wears or if he shows his eyes or not he’s absolutely perfect and I don’t have a preference for snazz or geek (well thats a lie i like both equally but like how weirdly exposed briefs forehead is when he uncovers his eyes sets me off a lil but i still generally like them equally)

- get ready for me to talk about brief a lot but I think he was stupidly ooc in episode 10, like god i don’t think he’d act like that at all it feels like he’d be more protective of them in a more fragile state,, i wish he was just being stupidly sarcastic but it lasts throughout the entire episode generally

- Episode 10 was kinda a bad episode in general because the art and animations were so weird lIKE DO U SEE HOW WEIRD PANTY AND STOCKING LOOK WHEN THEY TINY IM

oh yeah we also got to see briefs dick for like 3 frames in that episode so thts a thing

oh yeah this is a common comment on it but like vore. its just VORE. BRIEF CANONICALLY VORED PANTY AND STOCKING

OK LAST THING FOR E10, but uh i feel like tht episode was made because they went like “we need to foreshadow that briefs dick is a key / that hes hellsmonkey” “hmm,,,, what situation would we have to get brief into where chad penis would show,,,” “i know make him have to shit badly and throw off all of his clothes and make garter stare uncomfortably close at his peen!!” “PERFECT” I’m???#E?W!?!Q?Q?!

- brief has some of the best lines when you rewatch the show likE??? “while garter was bitching about you” “WHERE’S PANTY AND WHATEVER THE HELL HER SISTERS NAME IS” the entirety of his pep talk during the transformers episode or just him in that episode in general is golden “yes, yes it does” in response to panty asking if his acne gets set off from the sun or smth (fun fact gingers sunburn easily so panty was kinda close) and also from the same episode “that’s not helping” when panty just does the assdance i’m

OH YEAH!! Don’t forget the PaSWG extra episodes his quotes in that are also amazing like “i love her but she needs some serious therapy” “hello nurse” “are you crying tears of joy?” as zombie pantys eye bleeds mkfmvfk “THAT ISN’T THE PITCH THATS YOUR VAGINA” (thats not what he said i forgot but it was smth like tht) im cdnmc,,,

Give us more assertive / helpful / sassy / sarcastic brief I swear to god i live off of that

- brief should’ve been in more episodes or have had longer scenes in the episodes where he was just there at the start and didn’t have many lines or got kicked out in the middle and just gets shown at the end to remind you he exists

oh yeah last thing abt brief in the episode the daemons were introduced his dick got violently murdered

he got a sword stabbed in his dick (,,,or ass?), a gun pointed at his dick, and scantys sharp looking shoes basically crushing his ba ll S while he’s just whimpering in pain please help this child im

I feel like the only reason he lives through all this pain bc of his bloodmonkey stuff gives him like more resistance to pain i’d assume

- i wish we saw corset at least a bit more or got insight into him and garters relationship

- stockings whole thing at the end doesn’t bother me much bc i think they could do a lot with it, and it was originally said that they had enough material for like 6+ seasons or smth so i wonder if stocking would just die at the end of s2??? was she possesed? what happened gainax,,… i feel like if stocking didn’t come back then idk what they’d do

i also feel like panty being a demon would’ve made more sense. or a secret succubus spy or smth idk… also since stocking and panty are related does that mean they’re like half demon?? did stocking just turn too far into a fallen angel tht she got turned into a demon?? WHAT HAPPENED?

OK IM DONE I SWE

#long post #read more #danganronpa #ndrv3 #dr #paswg #mostly paswg #panty and stocking #panty and stocking with garterbelt #I'm probably going to reblog this and add headcanons bc I wanted to ramble about general ideas and hcs about both but i didn't want to make #it too unbearable #ask #answered #thank you aaaaaa

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beastofeasto-blog · 5 years

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GENERIC JAPANESE PUN AND/OR OBVIOUS CULTURAL REFERENCE: My Experiences At Hyper Japan

The people at Hyper Japan, which ran from Friday until today, ranged from a duo dressed as the twins from Ouran Highschool Host Club, Godzilla himself (whose terrible hand I had the pleasure of shaking), and dozens of people wearing meme t-shirts. So far, so MCM. What set Hyper Japan apart from a more usual celebration of mangakas and mecha were the somewhat terrifying woman in johdpurs from the Tea Authority, a room dedicated to over a hundred different types of sake, beer and spirits, and the significant attention paid to Japanese craftsmanship.

But of course, since this is after all a food blog, let's talk about the food. At the very beginning, I was collected from the front desk by two charming women from Fourteen Ten. We headed immediately to The Ramen Experience, where I was given a choice between shoryu, paitan and tonkotsu style ramen, and a chance to sample all three before deciding on which one I was to have in my bowl. Each comes from a different region, and each is distinct in flavour and mouthfeel. Shoryu, or soy sauce, was rich and roasty, effortlessly smooth and slightly sweet. Paitan, which, on the website was described as a chicken-based soup, was in person labelled as seafood stock. Either way, it was remarkably unfishy, and had a prominent, pleasant taste of both fresh and roast garlic. Tonkotsu is the neighbourhood darling style, a milky-cloudy broth made by cooking bones and feet for dozens of hours. A good tonkotsu should be gutsy, slightly thick, impossibly creamy and pure tasting. While the one I tasted was perfectly adequate, it did not live up to my expectations about what tonkotsu ought to be. As a result, I had a delicious bowl of shoryu ramen, with both gari, aka pickled ginger, and something that tasted like yacai, Szechuan pickled mustard greens (sour, slightly funky, a little bitter and lightly spicy) and along with the obligatory slice of chasu. Despite that the noodles lacked much of a bounce or snap, and the chasu wasn't fatty enough for my taste, it was a bowl worth finishing. That sounds like a lot of criticism mixed in with some faint praise, but no, outside of a couple stylistic choices, it was a bowl I'd be more than happy with at a restaurant, and would have been proud to make at home (I've tried making ramen. I've followed Binging with Babish's method, J Kenji Lopez Alt's version, and the edition found in Japanese Cooking: A Simple Art, whose title is possibly the biggest lie ever told. All of them were difficult, all of them were an obscene amount of work, all of them were frankly not worth the effort. If I find a method that works and doesn't make you want to die, I'll be sure to let you know.)

After that, the Fourteen Ten people let me loose on the stalls. I wandered past a woman selling EGL (Elegant Gothic Lolita) fashion, several weapons salesmen and a very busy stall selling manga both in the original and translated. Nearby, there were tables groaning with dolls and plushies, and there, over the way, were dakikamura, or body pillows, featuring characters from the Boku No Hero Academia anime. On the main floor, there was a condensed area where Japanese designers, artists, and craftspeople sold beautiful things, such as calligraphy, immaculate flowers made of silk, and shamiasen, traditional stringed instruments. I asked the person running the shamiasen stall if I could touch, and she leaned forward, rested a single finger on its body, and gave me a thumbs up. In short: no. I managed to get (very brief!) interviews with four different stallholders. I felt that since I was there, I might as well go do some journalism. I got brief peeks into the minds of two artisans, and one of the husband-and-wife teams selling swords, axes, and blades of all kinds:

The weapons sellers, Lee and Catherine, used to be in the business of selling replica toy handguns, until the law changed (presumably following the Dunblane massacre but neither mentioned it and nor did I). When that happened, it made replica guns a lot harder to sell. So instead, they moved on to selling swords, and especially movie replicas. It only made business sense for them to go to Comicon. Catherine's favourite is a massive bastard from World of Warcraft, while Lee favour's LOTR's Andruil. They don't think that any of their wares ought to be used for anything other than ornamental purposes, though you could technically use them for bushcraft.

The next pair I spoke to were Tomoko Kuroda, and her friend Yuko. Since their design heavily featured a pair of cats, one black, one white, named Alain and Jean, I asked whether they belonged to them, and about their personalities. While Alain and Jean aren't their real names, they are indeed their cats, and the characters of the globetrotting gatos – ones that are “curious and fickle, but very fussy with their travel items”. have existed for two years. Kuroda collaboarated with the famous artist/illustrator called Masako Hirano. A fact about each cat is that Alain is very interested about everything and very positive, while Jean is sensitive and naive, and likes to study hard. However, according to the info card I received, “Our effort to analyse their psyche might be pointless but this is our pleasure and mission nevertheless. This interpretation of the world seen by cats' eyes is our unique brand story.” Here, here!

You can find their e-boutique here.

While many people have heard of origami, comparatively few know about kirigami. I had the privilege of speaking to Susumu Yamayoka, who won the Grand Prize for the Charming Japanese Souvenir Contest back in 2011 for his City Postcard kirigami series. Kirigami is the art of paper-cutout. Yamayoka's series celebrated traditional Japanese scenes in aching, intricate detail – unsurprising, since Yamayoka told me that he's been doing papercraft for the last two decades. It took Yamayoka two months to design four postcards.His website is here

While there were many other stallholders, demonstrating mastery in mulberry-paper bookbinding, and watercolours, I did not have time to interview them all.

Then, I made a nice trip into the grimy speakeasy at Hyper Japan known as The Sake Experience. You rocked up, received about sixteen drinks tickets and two snacks tickets, and waddled around from table groaning with artisanal handmade drinks to table groaning with artisanal handmade drinks. Now, for those who've not had a sake experience, let alone The one; sake is a fermented rice beverage with a taste that uninitiated westerners may find quite unfamiliar. A good way to describe it is “like a grassier, fruitier dry sherry”, but since there are as many styles and traditions in sake brewing as there are in, say, French winemaking, the description I gave is insufficient. Another point about sake is that it can be drunk hot or cold. I remember saying when I was fourteen, having tasted my first hot sake, I said it tasted like “warm, unminty mouthwash”. It probably wasn't good stuff, but, as with many things, it's an acquired taste. I imagine that a mug of warm sake on a howling and bitterly cold Nagoya night would be comforting. As for the process of making sake, it involves inoculating cooked rice with Aspergillus oryzae, known in Japanese as koji, a fungus that transforms starches and sugars found in rice into alcohols. It's absolutely nothing to be afraid of, it's the rice edition of our homegrown hero, Saccharomyces cerevisiae, without whose noble efforts we'd never slug down a sixpack of PBR again – not that PBR has much of a future in our world. Cooked rice, koji, water, yeast and lactic acid are combined – at least in sake-houses that forsook the old way of doing things, where the rice and koji mixture is pounded to a paste – and the resultant mixture fermented. This is then pressed to remove unfermented solids, filtered once more, and then left to mature, like one would with wine.

For absolute beginners, I would suggest investing in a bottle of Shochikubai Shirakabegura Mio Sparkling Sake, not just because it doesn't have that much of a challenging koji flavour, but because it's significantly nicer than cat piss cava or bland prosecco. It has a gentle fragrance, is just the right side of sweet, and the carbonation adds both a sour note and makes it feel more refreshing. It isn't brut like champagne, more, a gentle, friendly face to pick up for a pleasant night in. I had the luck of picking up a bottle for £4 at the event – they were practically giving it away.

For those still a bit too afraid, there are a wide variety of Japanese fruit liqueurs. These often aren't like schnapps or are lighter fluid with a few drops of synthetic peach essence. Many Japanese fruit liqueurs, such as umeshu, have an ABV of about 12%. Umeshu is made by soaking whole green plums in grain alcohol, which is consequently watered down and sweetened. A different liqueur that I had the pleasure of drinking at Hyper Japan was Yomeishu Pink Grapefruit and Ginger (top); “precisely what it says on the tin!”, according to my tasting notes; a lusciously smooth and mild bev, tasting of real – if candy-sweet – fruit, like a boozier, top-quality alcopop. It was only later that I discovered that Yomeishu's flagship is a TCM (I use the “C” here generically) herb liqueur containing, of all things, the processed skin and organs of the mamushi pit viper, Gloydius blomhoffii. Unfortunately, I did not taste the snake tonic since it wasn't on offer, but had it been, I would probably have declined because I don't want to drink snakies. Nevertheless, snake-flaying aside, the good brewers at Yomeishu can make a lovely drink. The one umeshu I sampled , Urakasumi (buttom), was “bracing[ly] plummy” with an “almond bitter aftertaste”. As I don't have considerable umeshu experience, it was perfectly nice.

There were other types of sake on offer, such as the Yamabuki Gold, an aged sake, or koshu. The difference between a younger sake and a koshu is rather like a tequila blanco and añejo: the aged edition acquires a bronzeish colour and a deeper, often honeyish taste. I described the 7-time-in-a-row International Wine Challenge gold winner as having a “burnt toffee” character, “hypersmooth”, and with a “savoury aftertaste.”

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum was the Junmai Ginjo Sachihime Dear My Princess, charmingly subtitled in block capitals with ALL THE BEST WISHES FOR YOUR FUTURE LIFE. I described the unpasteurized sake from what is apparently the smallest brewery in the Saga prefecture (found on Kyushu, the southern island making up Japan proper) as “sweet, creamy, esteric and smooth.” Following some basic research into sake tasting terminology, this “esteric”- or “fruity” quality is also known as ginjo, which is the resulting fragrance from the slow and low fermentation of rice whose exterior is mostly removed. Two compounds that contribute to ginjo fragrance are isoamyl acetate, well known to any brewers in the audience to being one part of the duo in many Hefeweizens, the other being clove. Due to my experiencing isoamy acetate almost always in conjunction with the phenolic compounds that made up clove, I iniitally had written down “phenolic” instead of “esteric”, and then had second thoughts as I noticed more classical fruit elements evolve, such as ethyl caproate – another ginjo component – which is common in many fruits, including apple and pineapple.

There were, oddly enough, what appeared to be luxury bottled tea., from the imaginatively named The Tea Company. It's here where I ran into the absurdly fashionable and intimidating woman from the Tea Authority. She recommended the Thé D'Or Gyokuro, which turned out to have “excellent clean bitterness”. It was a “very green” green tea, with a pleasing “sprightly slight salinity”. I preferred, however, the Ibushi, from the same label: it “tickles the throat”, had “topnotes of fruit, then smoke and malt”, and was “silken, bitter, refreshing and savoury”. The tea used to make the Ibushi was apparently smoked over Japanese cypress. Do I approve of bottled tea costing between £11 and £30 per bottle? I honestly have to say, even if it was absolutely delicious tea, that I can't.

Finally, there were two spirits I tried. One was the Satsuma Shiranami, which is a spirit made from sweet potato- and it sure tasted of it: “earthy, nutty, popped rice, sweet but not sugary, and filling” is how I described it. This would in my mind be a fantastic addition to a hot toddy or pre-Christmas lunch drinks. The second is something I don't anticipate many of you ambling out of your wells to get, but I'll rec it anyway: the Kyoya Shuzo Yuzugin, combines two things that unsettle many people: gin, our proudest spirit, and Japanese botanicals, which can not be to everybody's tastes. Unsurprisingly, it had a deep, floral, long-lasting yuzu fragrance, and remarkably, I noticed a light tongue-buzz feeling, due to the sansho peppercorn. I won't fully get into this now, but the short is that the fruit of the Zanthoxylum trees produce compounds called sanshools, which give an anaesthetic, electrocuting, tingling, numbing sensation, most prevalent in Szechuan cooking, and one that I adore. Sansho peppercorn is Z. piperitum while good ol' Szechuan peppercorn is Z. simulans or bungeanum. While overall I can see more applications for the Satsuma Shiranami, not just in drinks, but as a nice thing to spin around a highball glass while relaxing, as one does when one is 23, if you like both yuzu and gin, and manage to find a bottle, go get it. Also, the bottle's pretty.

In the drunken stupour that tends to accompany having too many small drinks, I stepped outside and saw a stand selling three of my favourite Japanese snacks: takoyaki, sweet potato korroke and karaage. I got three for three, and sat down heavily in a chair, and watched the crowd pass me by as I had my snacks. Takoyaki is an orbular delicate wheat pancake, filled with chopped octopus. Mine were decorated traditionally, with aonori, aka green laver, mayonnaise and a sweet-savoury glaze made from Worcestershire sauce and reduced sake, soy sauce, mirin, kombu, and katsuoboshi (shaved dried bonito tuna). I like them because they have a wonderfully crunchy outside, and the inside is still kinda like a just-underset egg yolk or slightly underdone pancake batter, or a bechamel sauce. I think it's obscenely delicious, and was thankful at the paucity of octopus bits in the ones they gave me.

Karaage is a deep frying technique different from the better known tempura. In karaage, marinated pieces of meat, most usually chicken, are tossed in potato starch and deep fried until crispy. These had a crusty, gloriously msg-laden shell with tender pieces within. The crust had big crumbs in it, lending a nice variation in texture.

Korokke is a Japonification of “croquette”, where usually mashed potato is stuffed with a filling, rolled in panko, and deep fried. These ones were pure sweet potato, and utterly fantastic. I have a long-held suspicion that the Japanese sweet potato cultivars tower head and shoulders above those grown anywhere else. They tend to have the most amazing chestnutty taste and yielding texture. These were no exception. The korokke were “fudgy” and satisfying, the panko crust so ethereal, it might not have even been there. Of the three fried snacks, they were without a doubt my favourite.

In short, I did not eat or drink one thing on Friday that wasn't delicious, and there were a few that were completely exceptional.

As I walked back from Kensington Olympia to take the bus home, I thought about how I'd been exposed to so many different aspects of the culture of another somewhat strange, tea-obsessed island, and how valuable it was that events like Hyper Japan are put on; raising awareness in not just the more massively marketable aspects of another culture, but their unique traditions also. I had a great time. Since it's now over, I honestly can't wait for the summer one!

#hyperjapan #food #sake #karaage #ramen #bad photo quality #shochu #swords #alain et jean #kirigami

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academiablogs · 6 years

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Writing the Way We Eat: A Few Thoughts on Rejection

(Credit) Rejection is a painful fact of the writing life. When you’re first starting out, you know this, but fool yourself that it won’t be part of your writing life for the following reasons:

1. You’re the “chosen one,” who was destined to be a writer.

2. Your work is totally original and will make the editor/agent you’re submitting to fall backwards out of his/her chair and go, “wait a minute...what the hell is this? I didn’t know you could write like this!”

3. In the film version of your life, the first few rejections are merely there to create tension and drama for the fateful phone call you receive late in the evening one day to announce your blockbuster novel/movie deal.

4. No one else is as good as you are, which is sad, but maybe once you start attending writing conferences you can dole out some useful wisdom to help them improve their game.

5. You’ve never been rejected or truly failed at anything before.

Inevitably, one by one, these illusions fade away in the face overwhelming, relentless, and faceless rejection. That’s the biggest realization to the submitting writer—that rejection is never (or rarely) personal. The rejections are overwhelmingly impersonal form letters that repeat some variation of the following:

Dear Author:

Thank you for the opportunity to read "Your Story." Unfortunately, your story isn't quite what we're looking for right now. In the past, we've provided detailed feedback on our rejections, but I'm afraid that due to time considerations, we're no longer able to offer that service. I appreciate your interest in X Magazine and hope that you'll keep us in mind in the future.

[Note: this is an actual rejection I received yesterday—only the names have been changed]

What you also didn’t expect is how much it hurts to receive an anonymous rejection. As if they didn’t even take you seriously enough to say, “hey guy, let me be honest, you can’t string together a proper sentence.” Naturally, editors and agents don’t have time to coach you on how to write a better submission, but secretly, you hoped they would make time for you. For the most part, however, you’re summarily dismissed with a letter thanking you for your time and forgetting all about you...which makes you wonder if they even read your work in the first place. And let’s be honest—a busy submissions editor probably reads the first sentence or two and goes, “nope!”

Anonymity aside, the hardest thing to process about rejection is what is says—or what you make it say—about your identity. Many people think of themselves as writers, and a few of them actually even write on occasion. But it’s another thing entirely to submit your writing to professionals in the field on a regular basis. Because if you do, the rejections will follow, some of them before you can even hit ‘send’ on the e-mail button. That leaves you to process the bottomless scope of your failure. I’ve failed—I haven’t had a single story or novel accepted—no one likes it—I have nothing to show for months or years of work except faceless rejection letters.

What do you tell people who inquire, “how’s the writing going?” Not bad, I have 345 rejections on my novel just this year! Somehow, that doesn’t sound like you’ve accomplished anything, especially since you could write the world’s worst novel and wind up with exactly the same result.

So what does it mean to be a failed writer? Even though you never have to give up, and success could always be just around the corner, for the moment, you’re a “failure.” You haven’t “made it.” And by some people’s definition, you’re not a writer at all. What’s the old chestnut...”you’re not a writer until you get paid?” So does that mean that years and years of writing, crafting, revising, and improving your work is negated by a single rejection letter? Until someone externally validates your work with money or publication, are you just playing make-believe and frittering away your life?

But what if we replaced writing with a different activity? Take cooking, for example. There are millions of amazing cooks/chefs in the world, few of whom get paid for their work. Instead, they cook for their friends, their families, and more importantly, themselves. When you make a recipe, foremost on your mind isn’t “will I get this dish published? Will I end up on Top Chef?” You make it for a meal, to enjoy, to finish, and that’s that. Okay, maybe some of us post a picture of a particularly successful dish on Instagram with some witty saying about it. But beyond that, very few people cook with the intention of fame or fortune. Cooking is for the sheer enjoyment of the act and its delicious result. Even if you burn it the first time.

So why can’t we write the way we eat? Isn’t writing enjoyable in exactly the same way? Can’t we delight ourselves in how skillfully we can follow (or master) a recipe, and eventually, make our own improvements? Isn’t it miraculous to see how the ingredients come together in a successful dish which delights the taste buds and wins you the respect of your friends/family at the dining table? What more would you want? If a stranger knocked on your door and asked for a bite, and you obliged him, would you care if he said “this tastes like crap?” No, you would slam the door in his face and go back to your meal (who invited him to dinner, anyway)? Yet with writing, we’re constantly making a meal for strangers and begging them to come to the table, while we sit, starving, yet refusing to take a bite.

If rejection is a necessary part of a writer’s existence, so is writing. In fact, it’s a much bigger part. To me, what makes writing worthwhile is putting together a well-balanced sentence, one that doesn’t simply communicate a thought, but does so with style and substance. One that you have to revise umpteen times until it jumps off the page and says “you’ve never read this before!” Even the rhythmic click-clack of the keys is a rare music that you can hear nowhere else, and it forms the perfect counterpoint to your thoughts and characters. The sheer, visceral thrill of making stories come to life word by word, sentence by sentence, is the closest thing to magic most of us ever experience. So why pretend it’s all a business—merely a prelude to sending off query letters or begging magazine editors to accept our stories?

Write the way you cook (or can imagine cooking), for the sheer pleasure of sitting down to a meal prepared exactly the way you like it. Some people don’t like spicy food, but you do—so cook for your own palate. In the same way, of course most people won’t like your writing; it will be too hot, too salty, too bland, too exotic, too tame, too this, too that...and exactly the way you like it. So dig in and enjoy. The only palate you have to please is your own. And no matter what anyone else says or thinks, your palate is unique and knows what it likes. Why deprive it of a meal on the off-chance that someone, somewhere else in the world will enjoy it as much as you? Fill your own belly first...then save the leftovers for whoever else comes knocking at the door.

And if no one comes—hey, that’s more for you!

#amwriting #rejection #booklr #writeblr #blog

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doihaveanaccentyet · 7 years

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Il Ritorno

It’s been three years and I’m back. Back to Europe, back to crying on a transatlantic flight, and back to writing about it. It’s a little bit weird, I think, to resurrect my college study abroad blog, but it was kind of a condition of me being invited on this trip. A promise is a promise! So here goes:

To provide some back story, my parents let my brother and I know in the fall that they were planning a two-week European trip for Memorial Day weekend. At the time, Corey was a few months into college and couldn’t think of anything worse than spending a week+ with his family, when he could be wasted in the desert (I assume) of El Paso Texas at some horrible-sounding music festival. My parents told me they wouldn’t be taking me unless Corey came too. So, thank you Corey for realizing what a colossal mistake it would have been to miss Italy for EPT.

We left on Tuesday, May 23rd, at 5pm to land in Rome at 7am. This is a horrible time to fly overnight and why my mom thought giving me a quarter of a 0.5 milligram Xanax dosage would suffice is unclear to me. After 8 hours of in and out naps, we landed in Rome. A family friend told me before we left that the Rome airport was the worst airport he’d ever been to. And he was right! There was absolutely NO rhyme or reason to customs there. The lines were really just crowds that zig zagged through the airport until we reached the 3 working customs officers, who barely paid attention to our passports and made us feel EXTREMELY secure. It smelled AWFUL; college kids arriving to study in Rome for the summer after an overnight flight should be required to spray themselves down before exiting the aircraft.

When we finally made it through customs, we ran to our rental car and got on the road to begin our trip: 6 nights in San Donato, Tuscany with two day trips to Florence, and finally an afternoon and evening in Rome before Corey and I fly home and my parents continue on for another week relaxing in Positano. Three hours of sleep later, my mom had driven us to the quintessential Italian village of San Donato. It was literally the most Italian place on earth. We stayed at an adorable bed and breakfast run by a woman named Maria who baked a delicious olive oil cake every day. At the corner store – where you could buy lottery tickets, limoncello, and a freshly sliced prosciutto sandwich – three old men sat outside smoking cigarettes day and night. And old ladies walked up and down the streets yelling to friends in their apartments above. The view from our rooms overlooked the many, many vineyards of Tuscany and was just gorgeous. It was all out of a movie.

We spent that first afternoon walking around the 700-person village (we’re fairly certain this is a major exaggeration of the population of this town). And we ate dinner right outside our door at La Toppa, an adorable “Michelin star” restaurant. Let me begin by saying yes, it was delicious. Especially the Ribolita, which was an important find for our family (this traditional Tuscan bread and vegetable soup was a big hit among the soup-obsessed Joskowitz clan). But what we quickly learned was every halfway decent restaurant in Italy had a sticker saying it was Michelin rated. So while it was a delicious and reliable dinner during our days in San Donato, it probably wasn’t as special as we first assumed it would be.

On Thursday, my mother’s birthday, we spent the day in Florence with a tour guide who ushered us through our ONE day of museums for the trip. She was so sweet and not judgmental when we informed her she can leave us at Gusta Pizza for our one hour lunch break. Probably one of the most well-known dining establishments in Florence (by Americans) I was in all my glory. I think about Gusta Pizza almost daily since I first had it during my visit to Florence three years ago and it was just as good as I remembered. The spicy salami. The way the melted cheese, sauce, and olive oil meet in the middle of the uncut personal pie so you can rip off the crust and dip it into the little pool of perfection. I love it. And to make the experience even more sweet, One Direction was playing when we walked in. Meaningful.

We spent the rest of the day seeing the sights, buying leather jackets from Massimo (who probably rips off every American under the sun but no one cares) and listening to my mom talk about it being her birthday. We completed the day with an Aperol Spritz in one of the many beautiful squares in Florence and finally dinner at Trattoria Gobbi 13, home of the best cheesecake I’ve ever eaten. Many people accuse me of saying everything is the BEST or the WORST I’ve ever had/done/seen. But I can back this statement up: I literally have not eaten cheesecake since I ate it here three years ago because I no longer feel it necessary to eat a block of cream cheese knowing there is a heaping, messy pile of ricotta and crust and berries out there in the world. It’s simply THE BEST. My mom ordered mushroom fettuccini which was the highlight of the savory portion of the meal. And we got her an extremely decedent chocolate cake with a candle to celebrate her life, which we are all so thankful for. She only cried a little while we sang to her, which we were also thankful for.

We then proceeded to drive home. And by drive home I mean we drove into the city of Florence (from the outskirts where we parked) in 237407 circles because google maps kept telling us to turn the wrong way down one way streets. When we finally got out my dad and brother were fuming in the front seats while mom and I were hysterical in the back

I should probably take a moment to mention the beauty housed in the many museums of Florence. But, the most important one, the Gucci Museum was closed. So there was that. We saw many paintings and sculptures by Michelangelo, Da Vinci, and other artists that put me to sleep while reading history books in middle school, but the David was what really struck me.

About 7 years ago my mom and I went to Paris. Like most people, we went to the Louvre to see the great Mona Lisa. Like all people, we were outraged to find that it is about the size of a post card, and preserved behind a several foot-deep glass box. The David was the opposite. It was humongous, and we could get up close enough to take a decent selfie with his penis! It was really stunning and a wonderful way to end our day of pretending to care about the different art styles of the renaissance.

On Friday we visited Siena, which Rick Steves, author of many tour books, called the best square in Italy. It was a beautiful town high up on a hill full of beautiful castles, extremely boring museums, and many opportunities to drink an Aperol Spritz! We ate crappy pizza in the square that we regretted immediately after as we should never ever have settled for a tourist trap in the town’s center. We should have been more patient and eaten somewhere off a narrow side street that would have blown our minds. But we live and we learn.

Later that night we headed further into Tuscany for a cooking class at a lovely Dutch couples’ home. Why Dutch and not Italian? No clue. Did the teacher listen when my mom emailed saying some of us don’t like cheese (dad) or seafood (dad)? Absolutely not. Did we each go home with about 57 mosquito bites? You bet. That being said, it was truly a night I’ll never forget. From holding on for dear life as we drove down windy roads with little signage, to watching my brother and father have internal breakdowns upon seeing tuna roll ups and lemon ricotta gnocchi on the menu, to getting yelled at twice for almost ruining the one saving grace of the meal, flourless chocolate cake - it was so much fun. We all participated in cooking various parts of the meal, while the teacher, an older woman, told us about her days of being a doctor all over the world, and finally settling into retirement with her husband on this insanely gorgeous farm in Tuscany, where they grow fruits and vegetables all spring, summer, and fall, and retreat to the city of Florence for the winters. Her husband popped in and out of the kitchen close-talking to each of us at one point or another. He toured us around their property to show us their chickens, olive trees, rose garden, infinity style pool, and herbs growing in the backyard. The inside of the house was completely modern, with stainless steel appliances and a marble countertop in the kitchen which was boxed in by floor to ceiling glass windows and doors. It was truly one of the most stunning properties I’ve ever seen, especially as we ate the tasteless mean during sunset.

A fun fact we learned about Tuscany is way back when, other cities didn’t like Florence, (this is the abbreviated version of history) so they didn’t deliver salt to the Tuscan region. And boy was this true! No one in the area cooked with much salt, if any, so all three dinner courses – tuna and olives wrapped in grilled zucchini, lemon ricotta gnocchi, and herb grilled turkey (extremely random, yes) – were basically tasteless. Well, the tuna tasted like olives, the gnocchi tasted like nothing, and the turkey tasted like herbs. But everything was salt-less. And if you know me, you know my love of sodium, so we struggled. Still, we obviously licked every plate clean, including the rich chocolate cake topped with homemade whipped cream and fresh raspberries. Then we spent the whole car ride home talking about how bland everything was. At least we were polite!

Saturday morning after breakfast we headed to Radda, another small town in Tuscany full of cheese and salumi shops, lined with bags of colorful pasta and pungent truffle oils. We stumbled upon a restaurant below a medieval castle, where my mom and I shared a wine tasting of 8 wines, and we all ate lunch. I was healthy and had spaghetti with fresh veggies, Corey attempted to find a spicy, salty dish in a spaghetti arrabiata but failed, and my mom had truffle ravioli. Going into this trip, the smell of truffle could ruin my meal. I live in fear of sending food back in restaurants but if my meal ever came with a touch of truffle oil I had to ask for a new one. I am a changed woman! One bite into my mom’s ravioli she was crying. This time, because it was simply the best lunch she’s ever had. And this woman eats at all the top restaurants in New York City, but said this was the best lunch she’s ever eaten. So I had to taste. And it was incredible. Mostly because it was smothered in butter, my favorite condiment, but the truffle was delicious so long as I didn’t take a huge huffing smell of it. My palate became sophisticated right before our very eyes

We spent a little while longer walking around the tiny town, but these photos will probably never be seen because I wore a semi maxi dress with sneakers and looked extremely religious this day. My dad NEVER tells me I look bad in anything but he probably told me 12 times how weird/fat/religious I looked in this get up. It was true.

We then visited a little winery town called Volpaia where we walked uphill for maybe 2 minutes and then had to sit for an hour and drink an Aperol Spritz. When I say we are the laziest sack of shit family I do not lie. Any time during the entire trip we spent more than 4 minutes in the sun or traveled up more than one flight of steps we proceeded to sit for double that amount of time afterward.

We ended our Saturday night in San Gimignano at a family owned winery, Tenuta Torciano, for a tasting and dinner. As they usually host larger groups, we had a private tasting for 4 in a room lined with barrels of wine. The meal was absolutely delicious, which none of us were expecting. It began with a small salad with salumi and home made pecorino cheese drizzled with 30 year-aged balsamic vinegar, and was followed by grandma’s lasagna with just the right balance of meat and ricotta. My dad and brother then shared a Florentine style steak while my mother and I shared wild boar, which was the most perfect love child of pulled pork and short ribs. It was so tasty and reminded me what it’s like to taste salt. It was the best thing my father ate (he finished mine because I ate his lasagna because I am gluttonous) during our entire trip. The meal ended with vanilla gelato drizzled with the aged balsamic, which was the perfect combination

We tasted unlimited wines, about 10 in total, and by tasted I mean my mom finished all of her tastings and most of the rest of ours. One can assume how this night ended. (tears, falling, blackout, etc.)

Sunday morning we visited another tiny medieval town (that’s basically all Tuscany/Chianti is. A cluster of wineries and tiny, steep towns with delicious treats and stunning views), Val di Pesa. Here we had lunch on the side of cliff where I had my most mediocre meal of goat cheese ravioli in a roasted red pepper sauce. Corey on the other hand had an incredible skirt steak smothered in shaved black truffles. It was so delicious and rich.

And then we traveled to an extremely modern winery right off the highway, Marchesi Antinori, which sticks out like a sore thumb in a country of old, basically ancient buildings. We took a 30-minute tour and tasted their nasty chianti (we simply do not like chianti) and sweated our asses off as we roamed the rolling property. We finally retreated to the mediocre air conditioning in our rental car and drove back to the town of San Gimignano to visit the actual town square and taste what the kind people from Tenuta Torciano told us was the best gelato in Italy. They did not disappoint! I had a cone with mint, stracciatella, and cinnamon. Random combination, yes, but each was as delicious and flavorful as the next. We stopped in many little shops to admire the cheeses and purchase a red pepper flake grinder (important). We finished our day at La Toppa next door and ordered all new things. We ate outside and had an easy, tasty last dinner in San Donato until everyone’s allergies acted up and we caused a scene with our sneezing fits and had to go back to our B&B.

Monday morning we headed back into Florence for a day of shopping and eating. We drove directly to Piazza Michelangelo, skipping the hundreds of steps required from the city, to see the breathtaking view of Firenze. It is truly the most picturesque city and we were lucky to have perfect weather every day of our time in Italy. After taking 80 pictures of the same view, we drove closer into the city and began the feeding frenzy at l‘Antico Noe, a delicious sandwich shop that I had also visited during my last trip. We each ordered a different variation of prosciutto on bread and ate them with smiles on our faces and crumbs falling out of our mouths at a small table outside. When I ate at the same table three years ago I was hit by a man on a bike and I’m happy to report this did not happen again. (I’m sure I don’t need to mention this but for anyone wondering, no I did not drop my sandwich when I fell off my chair after being hit by the bike.)

Shopping was our main goal of the day and that goal was accomplished. All 4 of us left with treats (mostly leather), some larger some smaller. And we were all happy. We also returned to Massimo where he threw in free keychains and a free wallet probably because he feels a little bad for scamming us and everyone we know whose ever gone to him (everyone we’ve ever met whose been to Florence). La Giostra was our final dinner destination. I had eaten here 3 years ago as well but was not a fan. At the time I was apparently not the champion eater I am now, and after 3 days in the city I was sick of eating. I don’t even think I ordered my own dish, but tasted a few others and was not impressed. Nonetheless, this place was recommended by both locals and friends from home so we luckily got the last reservation available. And wow did I feel like an idiot. I don’t think words were spoken once the first morsel of food hit our table. The free appetizer plate of marinated mushrooms and celery, bruschetta, mortadella and ricotta potato puffs was gone within seconds. The pecorino and pear ravioli mom and I shared was so deliciously mild and perfect. Dad tasted his 4th soup in Italy and it was by far the best. Minestrone is always a crowd pleaser but this one was smothered in herbs and veggies. And Corey had a great pappardelle Bolognese. I ordered shrimp scampi over linguini which was so buttery and perfect with fresh prawns. Mom had a filet with a balsamic glaze so thick it looked like a layer of chocolate ganache. Corey had a wildly spicy and perfect spaghetti arrabiata and dad had a lemon veal. And we cannot forget the lightly breaded and fried veggies on the side. There were literally no words spoken. Just chewing and moaning. We then walked back over the Ponte Vecchio during sunset on the way to the car and took in the last moments in this wonderful part of the world.

Tuesday morning we woke early to get to Rome, where we were flying out of. I had never been, and while my parents and Corey had, they were kind enough to hurry there so I can see the city for the 18 hours I would be there. We rushed out of the hotel upon arrival and by 1pm, after not eating all day, we were famished and got trapped again at an awful tourist spot. My favorite pasta on earth is cacio e pepe, and this dish was born in Rome. But this shitty restaurant fucked up my pasta and painted Rome in a negative light already. We then took a smelly public bus to Vatican City and St. Peters Square, which was grand and beautiful and meaningful. It was also slightly depressing with homeless and injured people everywhere, men selling water screaming at each other, and selfie sticks whacking people in the face. We left and walked down the river and over to Piazza Navoa where I had a nice afternoon Grom gelato (crema de grom – so good) and then visited the Pantheon. It was definitely beautiful but after 7 days of walking non-stop we really just sat there “admiring” to rest our feet for 20 minutes. We finally rallied to head to the Trevi Fountain, which like the David, impressed me beyond words. It was so gorgeous and made me a little emotional thinking about how many people from all over the world visit this monument to make a simple wish. My mom and I both threw coins behind us with smiles on our faces and it was a moment I won’t forget.

We walked 30 minutes back to the hotel to rest for a bit and then headed to our last family dinner before we departed for home, and my parents to the real vacation (from us). We first had drinks at an American Pittsburgh bar, that my parents and brother had fallen in love with when they visited years ago. It was on a Soho-like cobble stone street and was lined with restaurants and bars with al fresco seating in the perfect 70-degree evening weather. We ate just across the street at a place called Saltimbocca, which is what my father ordered. He first started with cacio e pepe potatoes, which we shared as I was too traumatized to get the pasta version again. And wow, were these little fried potatoes coated in cheese and black pepper PERFECTION. My mom got a heaping pile of fried anchovies, and Corey got an even bigger heaping pile of fried calamari and prawns. We easily could have been full after our appetizers, but Corey ordered a monstrous amount of miscellaneous seafood linguini, which came steamed in a foil swan, my mom ordered rigatoni puttanestca, and I ordered eggplant parm. All three were incredible. My eggplant was perfectly cooked and mushy and smothered in tasty bright red sauce. Of course I shared this with my dad, who never turns down a few bites of anything parm.

Now as I write this from the plane Wednesday morning, I cant help but feel not emotional, but complete. My family is close. Extremely close, really. But with Corey at school and me in the city and my parents having a very busy social life that barely includes me (I’m not bitter), it was so special to have this week together with no interruptions. We discussed on several occasions how amazing it is that we are older now and can travel without whining (too much) or crying (only mom) or needing to be carried (though dad probably would have preferred to be held). We all appreciate the beauty of exploring a place we’ve never been. We all drink semi-responsibly and can enjoy an al fresco cocktail together every night. We all truly enjoy food and have intelligent commentary to make about each dish. And most importantly, we all like each other. So much. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned it’s pretty rare to have all members of an immediate family enjoy each other’s company, but we do. There is no one I’d rather travel anywhere with (except probably Vegas, dad can keep that boys trip to himself every year) and not just because I didn’t take out my credit card the entire time I was there. I am incredibly grateful to have this relationship with my family and hope they know how much I appreciate their love, support, money, and willingness to let me con Corey and I’s way onto this adventure.

Ciao again for now!

Dylan

P.S. A few random thoughts from our trip

- Bread in Tuscany is ASS. The no salt comes back into play here and the bread is truly inedible. I am grateful for this fact or I’d probably be 50 pounds heavier than when I left

- They don’t put screens on windows in Italy, so cue the infinite mosquito bites I got while inside the bed and breakfast

- Bed and breakfasts really are as cute as they seem in movies. Maria put out a wonderful breakfast spread of ham and cheese and croissants and fresh fruit and tomatoes and fresh juices every morning. She would also visit the breakfast room periodically to help people map out their days and give recommendations of where to visit. Aww!

- Chianti is disgusting and I give up on driving to enjoy it. Super Tuscan is a red I can work with. But if we ever do a wine-centric trip again, I hope we’ll be going to France for whites.

- I know on 34th street and other tourist spots in NYC there are people hocking you to buy tour tickets or souvenirs. But goddamn, is it a million times worse in Rome. People literally walked up to us at every meal shoving stuffed animals or flowers in our faces and just stared at us as if this would be a successful sales tactic. It was just too much.

- Portable Wi-Fi is the most important invention of the 21st century. On a scale of 1-10 this family as a whole is at about a 3 when it comes to reading maps. Having google maps was so vital to our happiness and livelihood. Amen.

- Regular Coke (and Fanta) from a can in Europe is just so delicious and makes soda at home taste even more toxic than we already know it is

- Every single person we met in Italy was kind and helpful and knew at least a bit of English which was obviously incredibly helpful and appreciated

- This trip was my parents first time in Florence. Yet when we walked in to Massimo leather he went up to my dad “AH YES! I remember you my friend! Tell me your name! You send friends to me!” We played along and got the “friends and family discount” but it’s important the world know the Massimo is just the best salesmen we’ve ever met.

- Finally, overall thoughts on the places I visited are as followed: Florence is incredible. Tuscany is stunning and full of endless little villages to visit and taste. Rome is kind of gross and dirty and overwhelming and their airport is bullshit.

#travel #humor #blog #italy #vacation

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macabrecabra · 7 years

Note

So Jack and Gabriel was out on the third date and Gabriel suddenly dropped the L word and he panicked cuz Jack look so shocked. But then Jack kissed him and said that he did not expect Gabriel to be the type of person that can say that easily. Gabriel was so offended that he screamed so loud anyone could hear it and he didn't not stop even when they came back to the HQ. He said that so much that literally anyone knew about their relationship and Jack just wished that Gabriel would stop

It....seems like you more or less wrotethe whole story for me in this XD;; So I'm just....gonna focus on theaftermath as prompts that are too detailed are hard to write ; w ; Sorry this answer is short.... I was kind of grasping at straws forideas ; w ;

For anon!Title: Never SayLoveRating: PG-13Relationship: Gabriel/Jack; Reaper76pre-Overwatch fall

Gabriel was the sort of man who couldhandle a battle without batting an eye, rush through a storm ofbullets and fire without a care, and ride out a storm in a muddyshelter like it was a walk in the park. Yet in other things, he couldoveract to such extremes it was nearly terrifying.

Jack wasn'tsure if he should be amused or not that saying the word love was oneof those small things that somehow got Gabriel all riled up as if hehad just spout out an accursed word. Of course the striker commanderhad tried to play it all down and try to make light of it that hadonly earned a frustrated shriek that had nearly made Jack go deaf. Itdidn't help Jack knew everyone in the base had heard him.

Their relationship had suddenly gonefrom rather low key to now everyone in the whole Overwatch now knewthey were seeing each other outside work hours.

“You just had to go and scream likethat didn't you?” Jack murmured as he stared broodily into hiscoffee, “Just had to let everyone know,”

“Me? You were the one that kissed mein public Jack. I'm pretty sure that more than a scream cluedeveryone into our relationship,” Gabriel snapped back, shooting hispartner a glare.

A slight flush rose to Jack's cheeksbut he didn't stop scowling as he took a sip of coffee. He decidednot to comment back as that would only invite a fight and lord knowsGabriel Reyes didn't like to lose anything and had to have the lastword on everything. Gabriel took a sip of his own coffee,glaring at the wall, tight lipped now and completely stony. It wasthe expression that indicated beyond any doubt that he didn't want tobe bothered and even spoken to, not unless it was an emergency. Notthat Jack was in much of a mood to speak to him anyways.

Now now at least. It was best to letthings settle.

“You two look like a couple ofchildren pouting,” Ana commented as she entered the lounge,glancing between the two men, “You make quiet the couple though,that is for sure,”

Gabriel let out a grumbled responseunder his breath while Jack merely sighed, closing his eyes, “Notin the mood for any sort of teasing about this Ana,”

Oh please. You practically are invitingme to tease you after that whole kiss and scream stunt. Its alreadyturning into an Overwatch legend,” the second-in-command drawled.

This time it was Jack who let out agroan, slumping forward to press his forehead against the palm of hishand, “What did I do to deserve this?”“For one, youthought Gabriel was competent boyfriend material,” Ana began,ignoring the pointed glare for Gabriel as she sat down next to theman. Idly she reached over to pat the Blackwatch commander's shoulderand gave a wink, “I tease you because I love you Gabe,”

Gabriel relaxed a bit, giving a snortbefore returning to his drink. Jack couldn't help the slight smilethat twitched at the corner of his mouth at the sight but did hisbest to hide the reaction in another sip of his coffee.“Sowhat are you two going to do now or are you going to just glare ateach other and play the blame game?” Ana asked, arching an eyebrow.

“At this point I'm just hopingeverything blows over and no one makes a big deal about this,” Jackadmitted, glancing at Ana, “I really don't want to talk about ourrelationship with everyone just because it is the new gossip thing todo,”

Gabriel let out a little growl, “Ifanyone in Blackwatch even draws in a breath to speak about it, I'mthrottling them with their own goddamn tongue,”“The onlyperson in Blackwatch who is going to even dare to talk about it isJesse and you know it,” Ana took a sip of her tea, before shakingher head, “And the kid gossips about everything so I doubt anyoneis going to take him seriously on anything,”

“Then I guess I know who I'll bethrottling later today,” Gabriel growled, his eyes narrowing.

Ana let out a sigh and glanced over toJack, “You going to tell your boyfriend not to throttle youradopted cowboy son?”“He won't throttle him. Gabriel isall bluster right now,” Jack murmured, glancing up at thecommander, “And we have better things to do than strangleMcCree,”“Oh?” Ana asked, arching an eyebrow.“Notwhat you are thinking!” Jack quickly said holding up both hands,“He and I just-”“We are cooking together tonight. Wealways cook dinner together on Wednesdays. Its a tradition,”Gabriel put in curtly, “Someone has to teach him how to cook foodthat isn't bland and tasteless or deep-fried beyond recognition,”

“Deep-fried oreos are good!” Jackprotested.Gabriel shook his head and gave Ana a longsuffering look, “You see what crazy American filth he wants to passas food?”

“You are doing God's work Gabrielin giving him an actual sense of taste,” Ana responded, patting hisshoulder, “You two relax though. I'll handle the gossip circle. Youtwo just keep doing what you do,”Jack blinked, looking upat his second-in-command as she gave him a wink, “Have to supportthe Strike Commander right?”He managed a small smile and anod, “Right. Thanks Ana,”

She gave a final nod and a wave as sheleft the room, “You just owe me tea for a week, got it?”“I'llhave it promptly delivered to your office every morning,” Jackresponded, still with a smile on his face.

Gabriel gave a slight snort, leaningback in his chair, “When are they going to make Ana commander? Sheis more or less the one running Overwatch,”Jack pursed hislips, giving Gabriel a light nudge of his foot under the table, “Benice Gabriel,”“Fine. I'll be nice to you,” Gabrieldrawled, rolling his eyes, “Only if I get to pick what we aremaking tonight,”“Please tell me it is not something toospicy? I'm still recovering from what you made last week,” Jackmurmured. “If you don't keep eating spicy food you'll neveradapt Jack,” Gabriel responded, giving a slight smirk, “But I'llmake the baby version just for you,”

Jack gave a roll of his eyes but thesmile wouldn't leave his face as he responded, “You are far tookind Gabriel,”“Of course I am,” He returned,giving asmirk as he rose to his feet, “See you at five,”“Seeyou at five,” Jack returned.He let out a soft sigh asGabriel left, feeling the stress drain away. At least for now thingswere defused and back to normal between them. By five tonight thingswould be calm enough perhaps for them to enjoy the evening as theyalways did together when making dinner.

Jack smiled. He couldn't waituntil five.

#Overwatch #Overwatch fanfiction #Shipping Snacks for Hungry Shippers #Reaper76 #Reaper #Gabriel Reyes #Jack Morrison #Ana Amari #fluff

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equalmeasurefiction · 7 years

Text

Cooking Head Canons: The Kids

The Gaang’s kids--that means Bumi, Kya, Tenzin, Lin, etc. Spouses and Senna included (because I will maintain that she’s Sokka’s). The Gaang’s cooking skills have already been described here.

Bumi Can Make Anything Taste Amazing He learned to cook from his mother. So, he has her talent, but actually enjoys cooking food (because he wasn’t relegated to the camp fire every single night). He is extremely skilled in the culinary arts, but (as with many things in Bumi’s life) few believe him. Talent: Bumi can turn even the most disgusting and vile things into real, delicious food. Is the only thing to eat for miles is slugs and grass? He will roast those slugs and they will be the best thing you’ve had in weeks. Is it poisonous? He already knows five ways to extract the poison and make it into a delicacy. Weakness: No one believes he can cook, so no one asks. And he has to be asked, or the situation has to be desperate. He also demands some sort of ridiculous challenge in normal circumstances, if he’s not in the middle of the battlefield, preparing hearty meals out of rats and poisonous mushrooms, then it’s no fun at all. Pro: The meal will always be the best you’ve ever had. Con: He will prepare deadly puffer urchin with one hand tied behind his back, while regaling you with tales of his military exploits... it’s somewhat nerve-wracking. Advice: Deep breaths. It’ll all be fine, he knows what he’s doing. Just think of it as dinner and a show.

Pema Is The Master Chef Regularly manages a kitchen full of acolytes. Knows how to set a menu, micro-manage preparation, account for no less than fifty different stomachs/digestive needs, budgets every meal, and she does it with a smile, even 9 months pregnant. And she can actually step in at any time and take over the cooking and preparation. She manages the food money and pantries, so while she’s happy to feed everyone, she appreciates it if they stop by a few hours before dinner so she can do some accounting first. Looking at you Tarrlok. Dropping in mid-meal, without warning... Didn’t even stay long enough to set up the table properly so she could feed you... >:( Talent: Managing and preparing meals, making sure that everything tastes perfect, and that everyone has something they can eat. Weakness: Meat dishes. She doesn’t cook meat, so she has no talent for preparing it. Pro: Your meal will be delicious, nutritious, and entirely vegetarian, while still meeting your dietary needs (as long as you don’t require meat). Con: If you do not show up in a timely manner (it’s only okay if you’re desperate and in dire need of assistance) and stay for the entire meal, she will be very cross with you. Advice: Fall in line or stay out of her way.

Senna: Lord And Master Of The Kitchen, Trespass And Face The Consequences Since Senna’s not much of a fighter (anymore) she claims what little power and authority she can. So, she has claimed the kitchen and the house. It is hers. She manages it. Tonraq can go and be manly somewhere else (His home is not his castle, it is her temple. Now BOW). Senna learned the art of cooking from her parents. Suki taught her how to make large quantities of food very quickly. Sokka taught her how to make delicious meat dishes... She’s brought her own flare to it and has even picked up a few Northern tricks. Talent: She’s a very good cook and a master of the feast. You want to feed ten people? Fifteen? Twenty-five? Senna’s got you covered. Weakness: She’s a territorial cook. If you come into her kitchen and try to prepare food, she will be at your back throughout the entire process... backseat cooking. Suggesting herbs and spices, judging your technique, and making comments about your skills. Not even Korra can stand it for more than five minutes. Pro: She is quite skilled at most dishes and has a wide range. You’ll be fine. Con: You are not allowed to set foot in the kitchen. Advice: Stay out of the kitchen.

Tonraq is a More than Capable Cook When Tonraq was a prince, he didn’t know the first thing about cooking. Then he was exiled and had to learn the hard way. Then he met Senna and they started cooking together and he came to enjoy it. And then Senna was injured and in need of some form of support/psychological comfort and commandeered the kitchen. He’s not allowed to cook there anymore... unless he gets up before her. And that only happens once per week as was negotiated in the marital fight three years after the Red Lotus throw down. Talent: Soups, rice, some meat dishes, and eggs. He has become a master of breakfast foods. Weakness: Lack of Experience and Practice. Senna kicked him out of the kitchen, so he only gets to cook when she’s sick, busy, or during the one day out of the week that he is allowed to serve her breakfast in bed. Pro: Delicious, wholesome, and hearty breakfasts. Con: He’s a bit of a one-trick pony, so unless you’re down for breakfast three meals per day... you might be somewhat put off. But it’s always good. Advice: Eat Breakfast.

Lin is a Capable Cook Lin learned to cook to please her mother and to add more variety to meals. She put real effort into cooking and learned to make wholesome, nutritious meals that were neither entirely bland, nor too spicy. Her cooking skills were something that her mother praised her for and family dinners were very important to Lin for a long time when she was young. That said, her sense of taste was horribly skewed by Toph’s cooking, so everything she makes is either kind of bland or more than a little spicy. She also rarely cooks anything anymore, especially after her fall-out with Suyin and her mother. Too many difficult memories. You can always find Lin at a noodle stand or small restaurant after work, enjoying a quick meal on her way home. She usually eats alone nowadays. Talent: Family dinners. Curries and spicy noodle soups were her specialty. Weakness: Anything that doesn’t call for spices. Desserts are a big one (unless she improvises and adds curry powder and chili to the confection). Everything she makes either involves some spice or it’s kind of flavorless. Pro: Delicious home-made curry and spicy dishes made by the infamous and terrifying Lin Beifong, Chief of Police. Con: She gets really, really quiet when she starts cooking and will probably cry once the meal is on the table. You will feel awful. Advice: Ask her out to a restaurant. Cooking’s still difficult for her.

Bataar’s Cooking Is All Looks And Little Substance Bataar approaches cooking like he approaches everything in life, with methodical care and precision. He is a man that believes that there is a way to do things and that way is the ‘right’ way. He is never satisfied unless the final product looks exactly the way it should look and does exactly what the cook book says it should do. As a result, the final product looks exactly as the cookbook says, but... alas, it is a passionless meal made without flare or love. And he always takes forever to make it. So while it looks perfect, the taste is usually a little off and the food is cold. Talent: Meals that look like they came out of a cooking text-book. They are perfect in every conceivable way. Weakness: While the presentation is striking, the food itself is nothing to write home about. The flavor is just good enough, the meal is always cold, and it took way too long to make. Pro: It is the most beautiful-looking food you have ever seen. Sauces gleam, noodles seems to radiate a buttery warmth, and the meat is always roasted so that the inside is the perfect shade of pink. Con: It takes too long. By the time he’s satisfied with the final product, you’ve already gone out for dinner, gone to bed, woken up the next morning, and had breakfast. Not to mention that he will have dumped five superior versions of the same dish out, because they didn’t look right. Advice: Just go out for dinner and maybe recommend him to someone who’s looking for pictures of food for cookbooks.

Kya Knows What A Pot Is For Second only to Tenzin in dodging kitchen duty, but sometimes she just couldn’t get out of it. Those times were usually when Katara needed two sets of small hands to help her out around the kitchen. Ironically, those were all new year’s meals and feast-days... and all of those occasions called for boiled items or soup. Since soups were simple, Kya always volunteered to handle those dishes. After all, making soups is a simple matter of putting everything in a pot and boiling it. So she became very, very good at making soup and boiled items. Of course, this means that when she cooks, she just tosses things in a pot and boils them. Things come out okay as long as she doesn’t overcook the food... But she usually overcooks things. Talent: Boiling Water for noodles, hard boiled eggs, tea, soups, stews... anything that involves a pot of hot water... or making medicine/drugs. Weakness: Making nutritious meals that don’t involve boiling water. She inevitably cooks the flavor out of everything except eggs and noodles (especially soups and stews, because Katara’s not around to remind her to take the pot off the stove). She also only knows a few set recipes, so unless you want to eat the same meals all the time, maybe don’t ask Kya to cook for you. Pro: Her arctic seaweed tea eggs are very flavorful. She also makes the best cold medicine. Con: She will cook the flavor out of anything that isn’t eggs, noodles, or potatoes. And she boils everything. She can boil the color out of seaweed and blanched seaweed is all slimy, flavorless, pale mush. Advice: Ask her for cold medicine, not a meal.

Suyin Will Always Burn or Under-cook Food Suyin wanted to learn how to cook when she was younger, but she lacked the patience to wait for water to boil and the stove to heat. So everything she tried to cook was either under-cooked or burned to a crisp. And Lin had no patience for her in the kitchen after she ruined several of Lin’s meals. This was a big source of strife between the Beifong sisters and a contributing factor in Suyin’s later behavior. As long as Lin was the ‘perfect’ daughter who did everything right, Suyin felt that the only way she could stand out and get any attention at all was by being the rebel. As an adult, Suyin tried to learn to cook, but she’s not very good at it. But she’s learned to take her lack of skills with grace and focus on what she’s good at... managing people and helping them find their hidden talents. She might not be a master chef, but she will find the master chef who will manage her kitchen (and she did). Talent: Finding people to cook food for her. Weakness: Patience. Pro: Since she’s decided not to cook, you will never have to eat singed eggs or half-baked, doughy bread. Con: If she learned to cultivate patience, she’d probably be better at cooking than Lin. Advice: Ask her to recommend a restaurant. She will direct you to the best in town.

Tenzin Will Give You Food Poisoning Learned the art of dodging from Aang, so he dodged learning to cook. This might have been to everyone’s benefit... While he can follow recipes, he prefers bland food and his taste buds are somewhat defunct. He, however, is unaware of this fact, because he has an iron stomach and can eat anything without getting sick. Talent: Avoiding kitchen duty. Weakness: Few functional taste buds. Pro: He will not cook unless he has no other choice. Con: If he does cook, someone is going to get sick. It won’t be him. Advice: Don’t eat anything he puts in front of you.

BONUS ROUND

Izumi Does Not Cook But she is one of those infuriating people who, if they ever tried to cook, would be incredibly good at it on the first try and improve with every new attempt. That said, she’d like to try it someday... her father, Lord Zuko, would make dinner for her on her birthday and she always wanted to do the same for Iroh II. She just never felt particularly confident about cooking. Talent: In spades Weakness: She’s never tried to prepare a meal. She lives in a castle and people have always prepared her meals for her. Pro: When she does make food, everyone will be pleasantly surprised. Con: Everyone will assume that she’s been secretly cooking for years, she will inevitably feel uncomfortable about her unusual skill, and she will never cook for anyone again. Advice: Don’t compliment her too much, she will probably freak out. But do compliment her, she is the Fire Lady after all. You don’t eat a meal prepared by the Fire Lady and NOT compliment it.

KORRA AND REPUBLIC CITY ARE NEXT

#Cooking head canons #The Kids #Gaang Gen 2 #Bumi #Pema #Senna #Tonraq #Lin #Bataar #Suyin #Kya #tenzin #Izumi #a:tla #a:lok #The Ones between the Shows #avatar: the last airbender #avatar: legend of korra #Head Canon

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