#I stayed up waaaay to late to finish this post

[mulinee]

The Heads of Mulinee Clans

Each Clan is led by one representative, either elected by their peers or trained by the previous Head. They are expected to keep the well-being and wishes of their flock in mind when voting and creating the laws which govern the Mulinee body.

Aqui Virye leads the Clan of Aquila, small and scattered as they are. Though many find him a quiet sort, his people have their complete trust in him, even if at times he may do things untraditionally, taking no Right or Left, though he claims it’s more to do with the fact there is no one around to assist. The most open minded of the Heads, he is the first to welcome outsiders into their fold, making many consider him a bit more naïve. When not taking care of official matters and tending to his people, he can be found visiting his daughter Aya.

Tor Kola leads the Torja Mulinee of the Torajan Jungles. While it is common for many Torja to become necromancers, Tor Kola is considered their best and powerful example, though a bit rather unnerving and enigmatic. They consider it their prime duty to assist the Dead as well as the Living, and instructs others in their craft when not tending to business. Many also rumor that before they had become the previous Right of Torja, they had been an assassin sent to kill the previous Tor Belol, though Tor Belol denied this claim and would dismiss any further questions.

Su Mori Al leads the Surna clan, who make their home in the Dry Steppes. She is the youngest of the Heads, and the most rather headstrong. To convince the Mulinee of Surna of change, one must convince her first, as the people of Surna hold tradition to the highest esteem, only second to gold. Once she is convinced however, she is the quickest to adapt and implement methods for the rest of Surna to do the same. As she was not trained by the previous Su, she relies heavily of her Left and Right of Surna, and consider this a weakness for the Clan, though they will not outright say this, as she more than makes up for it by constantly working.

Ki Kanol is the eldest of the Heads, and his leadership approaches the record for longest in the Kiga Clan. As one of the group that slew the Bloody Mother Flemythan, he is given much respect by all Mulinee, even if they think he is a tad…eccentric. While he may be convinced easily to welcome newcomers to the Kiga, none have been able to convince him to get rid of the fake beard, not even his late mate or his daughter. Eccentricity aside, his wit is as sharp as ever, and many are surprised on how well informed his is, no small thanks to his Right, Chialnaoth. When not attending to official matters and business in the Heart of Kiga, he is found at the Outpost in the middle grounds of Fornis and Kiga territories, and loves entertaining the pups with stories of his younger days.

While not officially Head of Clan Fornis, Pris is considered the de facto leader when her father Ki Kanol is not around. Many Fornis appreciate her level-headedness and know that she carries their best interest to heart. At the time of the death of Fo Forna, she was not considered ready to take the role of Head of Forna, by both her and her father. Thus, the Fornis clan merged with the Kiga clan, though is still recognized as it’s own clan. When not assisting in Clan matters, she leads the Fornis Scouts at the Outpost, protecting it and the families that reside within.

#diablo oc #my art #mulinee #I stayed up waaaay to late to finish this post #Tor Kola and Su Mori Al have actually been done for awhile #but got some updated looks #and Aqui Virye #Lore Bits #the scarf Kanol wears was made by his mate Forna #and the rocks are gifts from pups that he switches out every so often #Aqui Virye lost his arm in a demon fight before Aya was born #Su Mori Al may be headstrong but she does care #she is also a burnt out workaholic which makes Some People very concerned #and yes it takes her forever to apply those lines #no that is not blood on Tor Kola’s horns just the same paint they use for their eyes #Ki Kanol did not come out of the fight unscathed #his eye is corrupted #and despite numerous attempts to heal it it has never been the same #if Pris’s outfit looks familiar #it’s because she wears the Scout’s uniform #which is what Vilinaya ALSO wears #the writing to left of everyone is Mulinee #Aqui Virye #Ki Kanol #Tor Kola #Su Mori Al #Pris #Also I apologize about the order #it kept switching while I was making the post

[drewsaturday]

i've had such a weird relationship with making fanon things lately for a few diff reasons i think.

i haven't rly been inspired enough to take things beyond my thoughts and make an actual thing out of them. part of this is probs bc of my medication. the other part is that...

i don't have the time to dig too deeply into my favorite things rn. this means i don't dig up new parts to feel excited about, i don't feel Qualified to carry those ideas out bc my understanding of the source material is so limited and people expect waaaay too much quality from fanworks these days, and i feel like i'll never be able to finish what i start anyway.

lastly, i've been doing fandom so repetitively i'm just... tired? of the same thing over and over again. i work on a thing, i polish the thing, i post the thing, i wait for feedback that is either nice/mean/empty, rinse and repeat. the solution would be to just not post these things, but why go through all that effort to carry something up out of an idea stage then since that's what makes me most excited? and if i spend the time drafting, it feels like a waste of time since it's not going to go anywhere.

i do think a lot of this is medication, because it dulls Just how insane i am capable of getting about a thing. in the past i would have sooo much drive because i felt like if i didn't make a thing, i'd explode. i don't rly get that anymore, at least not in a big enough burst to keep me working on things very long.

i've instead been thinking a lot about diving into original content because... although i make everything for fun, i think original stuff has way less of the above issues attached.

there's no time limit. i'm not... "competing" for being able to get an idea done first, or trying to get a fanfic out while there's still hype over a show, or worrying about my work being ooc compared to someone else's, or worrying the fandom landscape i vibe with is going to change when people move on.

it's theoretically not as repetitive. i'm sure the things i'm interested in shows are similar to what i come up with from my brain, and i could just try to make different things for fandom than i'm used to. but i am kind of tired of my inability to do anything besides hurt/comfort oneshots for the same kind of pairing over and over again. this would force me to actually develop other shit too lmfao.

it's Technically something i could profit off of if i really wanted to, making it less of a waste of time. for fandom, it feels like a waste of time if i'm not putting a fanon thing out for other fans to see. it also feels like i put a ton of work into my own little understanding of a show--fleshing out backstories and worldbuilding etc. so if i move onto another fandom... it feels like it was all for nothing, esp if i don't make something from it all. ideally i would be doing it just for the fun but there needs to be some balance with what i consider pay-off. and since i usually don't stay motivated long enough to do these big huge projects, or people move on, or other people do the idea first because i work so slow, it's just gotten rly un-motivating.

there's like, layers of motivation imo. i like a thing and i get excitement about making stuff for it and exploring certain parts of it. and i can do that for myself, but to make it stand on its own enough to post for other people to see isn't something i currently get enough motivation for. and because of that, it makes the fun part feel like a waste of time i guess.

i usually stay away from my own original stuff bc i honestly just don't feel the level of excitement with it as i have felt with fandom in the past, and... it's just harder lmao? but i think it would be good for me to at least fuck around with it.

fandom started as a vessel for creativity for me. i wanted to make videos, it gave me footage. i wanted to draw, it gave me designs for characters. i wanted to write, it gave me a sandbox to play in. and i still find those things fun, but i guess it just feels like i'm limiting myself by only playing with other people's dolls in a public park for all to see. like i'm just not as connected to the Making part as a hobby or to the parts of myself i would put into it.

idk, i am just rambling and i think honestly if i Did have more time it would help take a lot of the above pressures and risks away and balance me out so that making silly little fanfics sometimes would feel more worth it because i'd feel free to do other things as well.

i also do sort of get glued to the screen when i'm in mode of making and posting things and i'd like to uhhh. do other things with my life too sometimes lmfao. part of this boredom does probably stem from being chronically ill and therefore barely leaving my house. i haven't been able to do other things beyond fanon creations in years. so no wonder i'd feel less inspired and more bored.

i also think i've gotten tired of watching things feeling like a chore. oh shit i need to write down this scene so i can use it on a fanvid, or make sure i take note of this piece of dialogue for this character's backstory, etc. i know i bitch about how i don't hate the word "content creator" bc it is just an easier catch-all for me as someone who makes lots of diff things, and i still agree with that, but i do think because of my own levels of perfectionism, mixed with honestly how weirdly expectant of quality fandom has become, it's become a chore to engage with source material.

another thing is i've always felt like i've needed a purpose in what i've made and that purpose tends to be justified by the community interactions. it makes me feel less lonely and it helps me feel inspired and like... it doesn't hurt to know you'll get feedback on something because you've found so many supportive friends in it. i rly just haven't landed in any new communities i vibe with a ton for the things ive gotten into lately, so there's less motivation there. that's not to say anyone's Bad, just... discord servers are too big, tags are too dead or all over the place, i don't message people to become friends, and the communities and friends i do have from fandom are all kinda doing different things rn, etc.

the other form of purpose would be challenges--exchanges, bingos, etc. this fanwork isn't just a random thing for fun, it has a reason for me to work on it enough to let it see the light of day. and i think i've kinda broken my brain a bit using those for motivation so much, but the alternative would be to never get anything into a publishable state, but without it being a publishable state and interacting with communities through it there's no reason for me to really spend all that much time on it in the first place, which means i'm really not getting to Create.

i think the biggest issue these days if every part of the creative process now feels like it's "for show" and original stuff that has literally no audience is the only way to kinda undo the amount of rules that's put on me and my creativity.

tl;dr i'm just not feeling the same fulfillment from making fanon stuff as i used to so i guess i need to experiment with making other things so i can still do the Making part and see where that lands me, and see if it can help undo some of the toxic mentalities being an exclusively fandom girlie for so long has kinda instilled in me.

i'm sure i'll still make fanon shit every so often--i honestly have been so busy that output won't be noticeably different from my usual once every five months contributions. i just need to get back into the right blend of circumstances for it to feel worth it, and until then i guess i need to dig out the dolls from my own attic instead of someone else's so i can have a less complicated vessel for creative hobbies because i'm fairly certain i'd still like to create.

#txt #this is just a v long ramble that im not sure makes much sense honestly or will be readable to anyone but myself at this point but eh #just needed to word it all out #...also just remembered another reason that causes that imbalance of fun #is chronic pain making certain art forms like drawing quite painful so although i've been wanting to learn art techniques #and practice generally in non-fandomy ways #i'm stopped by how it's more worth it to sketch a blorbo every so often #but idk i want to try figuring out better ways of going about that for myself and #since i can't have both fandom and original without pushing myself too far i kinda have to Choose art advancement #over stupid blorbo drawings #same with if i spend too much time typing etc #and that plus time constraints are why im making it out to be such a one or the other thing #but it also... is... #because i rly don't think i can keep doing fanon stuff without at least mixing things up somehow #if not moving to original stuff altogether #i do think that once im out of school and i have a more stable schedule #i'll be able to set aside specific free time each day as opposed to being all over the place #and that will help as well so i don't feel Guilty over creating things #when i should/could be doing something more productive bc i also do want to move my life forward rather than being SO escapist #and the guilt aspect gets in the way a lot more than it when i had more passion to beat it back with #that rly is my own fault tho for being in charge of my own schedule and being so bad at it lol #one last little note for myself is i think a lot abt non-fandomy hobbies i have like music #where yeah ive made some filks but for the most part idk what im doing #im just there to have fun and enjoy myself bc it's just... the entire reason i do it #and i dont rly get that from the things i also can use for fanon creations these days more readily

[house-of-mirrors]

ooh I don’t really know anything about Lucretia, what’s she like?

Hi there! Yes, I haven't quite finished up the bio sheets for my other two, but I ought to get back to working on those. Anyway, Lucretia is a very close friend and honorary "sister" of Orsinio's, she's the same age as his brother Horatio was (ten years older than him) and was basically adopted by the family when they met because she didn't have anyone else. Very rough background growing up in poverty and losing the rest of her bio family to illness, so she became a doctor so she could help others with no cost. She was hit quite hard when Nemesis happened with Horatio, but she stayed strong for Orsinio and actually encouraged him to go to the Neath to pursue a lead. She may or may not have had romantic feelings for Horatio, but she never processed them (she's also demi which makes things more complex), and it's too late now.

She came to the Neath two years after Orsinio did to check up on him; she really sees him as a little brother. She found the situation to be dire, which is a whole other story (involves my other OC Miles who was a seeker and a stay for Orsinio at the Royal Beth), and she didn't feel comfortable leaving while things were still tense and her help as a doctor was still needed. Now that things are better, she keeps insisting she doesn't intend to stay permanently, but she still hasn't left.

Lucretia is incredibly strong-willed and not intimidated at all by the horrors of the Neath. She's still not used to it here and doesn't think she ever will be, but when confronted with a new oddity, she raises an eyebrow and moves right on. And she can and will yell at anything and everything.

All of that being said, we delve into her connection with the Manager. She became acquainted with him while she was taking care of Orsinio during that whole mess, and she frequently argued with him as a doctor over conditions at the hotel and why he had to be "spooky" about his care. He almost got inside her head. Still, she feels... something about him. She refuses to process what that might be, but she becomes motivated by learning more about him, which leads to involvement with the Marvellous. She gets in waaaay over her head with that, doesn't care about high society or riches at all and has always loathed gambling, but the more she gets into it, she sees how damaged everyone involved is and she's drawn again to help. "All of you are in need of serious therapy!" I haven't finished the ambition yet with her but she'll be relieved when she learns of Beechwood's plan to end it.

I was going to have her get the Doctor profession, but I was too curious about the wheels. It felt fitting to have her become a silverer; she can heal people in dreams after becoming more focused on mental health since she came to the Neath. Course that sets her up as more of a foil to the Manager. She's still struggling to process her potential old romantic feelings and the concept of pursuing romance again, and since the Manager is unattainable, it feels safe. They'll continue to have tension through railway, until they come to a point they can be something like friends and Lucretia is ready to seek new connections.

I've said a loooooot already and I'll save the rest for when I post her bio. But thank you for asking about her! I've had her in my brain for a while but only in the past few months have been developing her story and I love her :]

Also she's a MILF

#that may or may not be coherent but I'm typing on my phone #I love Lucretia so much :] infodump time #ought to just copy this post to her bio and post it lol that's basically the summary #thanks for the ask #my ocs #long post #hd spoilers

[sometimesrosy]

Hello! Just saw the post you reblogged about reading, and I was already coming here to send you an ask about it. I LOVE reading. I enjoy it so much I lose myself in it and, if I’m really enjoying a book, I’ll stay up waaaay super late to read some more. But, I’m lazy to start reading. I’ll either read a book in a week or in 3 months, no matter how much I’m enjoying it, because I’ll do an “involuntary” break in the middle. I’ll be like “oh I really need to finish xxx book, I was liking it so much!” and proceed to not pick it up for a month. I make excuses sometimes, for example, I wear contact lenses and don’t have glasses, so I don’t read in bed because I can’t see. I’ve also talked myself into trying to believe that it’s ok to not read, because it means I chose to do something else. But sometimes that something else is staring at my phone. If I love reading so much, why don’t I do it more often? What can I do to change that? Thank you.

Hmm. That's an interesting problem to have. It's definitely solvable, if the only problem is you get distracted and lose focus.

I think I commented on that post that I definitely had a reading drought. It was anxiety that stopped me from reading.

And I didn't solve that reading issue until I found a genre that didn't exacerbate my anxiety. And it was historical romance! Which for me is fantastical enough to not be real life problems, and has a convention of requiring a happy ever after so I don't have to worry about the heroes I've invested in being destroyed in the end.

I also think that romance novels are often about healing more than causing trauma and I like that.

BUT if your problem isn't one of mental health, it might just be habits that you're struggling with.

It's easy to just scroll social media instead of reading. Or watch tv or streaming.

But you could actually replace some of that time in your schedule with reading. Whatever works for you. Half an hour during lunch to relax. Or on public transport if you do that. Before dinner... just don't turn on the tv. Or maybe end your streaming/tv watching an hour earlier than normal, and turn to reading instead. It's better for your sleep anyway.

You could also try reading short form material. Short stories. Novellas. Poetry. Essays. No one says you have to be reading huge long epic sagas and multi volume series.

Oh, also, some people REALLY love audio books. They're good for a commute or when you're doing something physical like crafts or cooking or jogging or whatever. Audio books count as books.

I have a solution to your reading in bed problem. A couple of solutions. I keep a pair of reading glasses by my bed. I bought a weird little triangle pillow to hold up my books, too. And my phone for scrolling if I'm honest. Sometimes I have them both on there, and I play candy crush while I'm reading. I don't know why it took me so long to realize that I have adhd. Sometimes I will have a fidget toy while I read. It actually helps me focus and keeps me from getting distracted. But to be honest, that could be one reason you stop reading and move on to something else.

Also, I read on a kindle paperwhite now. I have found this the best way to read at night. It is lit, so I don't need a lamp to read, and I can also switch it to night reading so it doesn't hurt my eyes. I can enlarge the text so that I can see it without struggling and it's easier to hold while in bed. Not to mention I can switch between books or when I finish I can get another one.

Books are the one thing I actually spend money on so I've built a library in my kindle, but you can also get ebooks through your library and kindleunlimited gives you access to a whole host of books for free... if you're an avid reader like I am.

I also like carrying my kindle with me so I can read whenever I have free time, like waiting on line or whenever. It fits in a pocket or my purse. Not to advertise for one of the evil empires (amazon) but I love my kindle. It makes reading physically easier in many situations.

HOWEVER. If you're having trouble reading, it is actually okay not to read. If you find it taxing. That's fine. If you can only read fanfic or graphic novels or audio books. They absolutely count as reading.

Allow yourself to do what you need to do for your needs. Give yourself a break on what you think you 'should' be doing. But if you really WANT to be reading, you might need to consciously make room for it in your schedule and routine.

I honestly have stopped watching tv and am reading my historical novels instead and I do not regret it.

#rosy answers #reading #reading habits #reading drought

[thickness-protection-program]

Hoe Story Yikes Part 2 : Electric Boogaloo, I'm so sorry it's a long story and I'm kind of venting cause every now and again i get that "wah i miss him" when he was a huge asshole,

tl;dr: Got into a relationship after i moved states, he was extremely possessive and manipulative, broke up with him after 9 months of enduring it, 4 months after the breakup he catfishes me on grindr to ambush me in my apartment and curse me out.

AND HERE'S THE LONG VERSION FOR WHOEVER CARES

So last year (2021), I quarter life crisis'd myself into moving to another state instead of going to therapy, flew into a relationship about 10 days after I moved, got love bombed, let him move in like the following week, then over the course of the following 9 months submitted to ever increasing possessiveness and manipulation chasing the high of the thought that someone wanted me for me and didnt just fetishize that I'm a 6'7" Blatino gamer.

Now when I say possessiveness im talkin: got upset when i went to a store without him (closest supermarket is literally walking distance around the corner from the apartment complex), I gave him my phone pin, my computer pin, i made sure to spend time with him when he came home from his night job even if i opened at work the next day, when i got my dream work from home graphic design job he didnt like it because "then id just have guys over when he left", he didnt like that my supervisor at the new job is gay, always asked if I knew who posted something i liked or retweeted if it was someone who thotposts and shitposts, thought my discord girlies were all flirting with each other cause we have raunchy gay humor, and so on and so forth.

For 9 Months. As if I didnt indulge in his hobbies of LARPing, going with him to another state for like the biannual rules meeting of this larp thing that he had his own chapter of, i did all of the branding and half of the initial story writing for his chapter cause I enjoyed it and wanted him to pull it off, took him to my home state to see my friends and family, we planned a valentines trip to hawaii, we were looking at houses to buy, we were talking marriage, cleaned if he cooked, cooked if he cleaned, didnt say anything even if it bothered me to how his clothes were literally all over the floor all over this small ass apartment.

Mid to Late november I felt like things were okay and going fine, finally looking up, i stopped leaving my phone in the open to see if he would ease up but of course he would just go through my computer while im working in the living room. Christmas comes around and not 2 seconds after we finish opening presents he asks if he can have my phone again like a child asking for their confiscated toy back and i felt something snap in my brain. So after festering until January (2022) I broke it off with him and told him i needed my space and to re-re-establish boundaries and Im moving back to my home state when my lease runs up. February I had to kick him out of the apartment cause he wanted to stay with me until I left (but i felt like it was to make sure no one else could get their hands on me). I keep in touch with him cause Im still clinging on to the good memories even though the bad was waaaay worse but over time the texting got stale and after I poured my heart out to him for like the 4th time i got a "Yeah" in response and nothing else. and i was like okay cool i got the memo, have a good life.

SO i get back on the apps last week (April), in one part to be social after being held captive for almost a year and in another to satiate baser instincts. Couple of days go by and im feelin particularly salacious and bottomy so I cast a net while im working and hosing down the chimney. Someone takes the bite and at this point it's like midnight, almost 1 am, i havent eaten, he was Cute Enough so i was like yeah come over whatever. as he said he was getting closer, he said do you wanna just leave the door open and wait for me on the bed and me being a disgusting dangerous hoe said sure just lock the door behind you. Mind you im in nothing but a jock on my bed, i hear the door, im like alright lets get down to business.

I turn to look and it's my Ex.

He fully catfished me with someone elses face and nudes and then he starts popping off going "Wow. You're a horrible person, youre a whore, i wish you were dead, you ruined so much for me, i want you out of my life and out of this state" and im in nothing but my jock still, fully gooped and gagged that he had the audacity to do this, and the only words i managed in the middle of his tirade was "Are you serious", then he stormed out of the apartment. I wasn't scared cause I knew he wouldn't get physical with me (cause i'd win) but this is gonna be fun to talk to my therapist about.

:)

I... I want to fight him and I want to hug you lol. I'm glad you're ok but babe we can't be letting our need for dick cum before our safety! But tbh I probably would've called the cops or my homegirls on him or something like... He would've got spin kicked in his throat. Thots and gayers for you bestie 😅 and once again I'm glad you're ok

#tell me your hoe stories

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 10]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, guided masturbation, dirty talk, jun being a wild one, sad?????angst(sorry), mentions of break-ins/theft, yet again this chapter was meant to be shorter but here we are 😭🍒 more plot than anything else but enjoy! and as always, thank you so much for your support and interest in Cherry Bomb!! 😭💕💕💕 have a good weekend and don’t forget my halloween intro post goes up tomorrow as well!! stay hydrated bbys!!💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - ?

“Damn.”

Seungcheol sits beside you Friday morning, lips pressed into a firm line when he sees the five-digit number staring back at him from your revenue page. 

“Yeah, it’s---I--I’m…”

The two of you fall into a tense silence as you both stare at the exorbitant amount of money that the videos have made, unsure of what to say or even think.

“Um, I mean, o-obviously you get a cut of the money too, ‘Cheol! You’re half the video so…”

“Yeah, but even so, that’s---that’s an insane amount of money we made off of, what, three videos?”

You nod back slowly, sighing as you rest against the back of the sofa. “I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t think… they’d do that well. Like, not saying we suck! We obviously don’t, but just… I didn’t think they’d do that well.”

Seungcheol laughs, leaning back against the cushions as he meets your blushing face. “I could quit my job and just cam with you for this amount of money. I mean, this much off of three videos? Imagine if we were regulars together.”

The thought alone sends your mind into a flurry of various ideas; biting your lip as you lean into Seungcheol’s shoulder.

“Hey, I have an idea for tomorrow’s show but remind me to ask you later!”

hoshi_tiger_xx: still out of town baby?

sleepy_wonu: i feel like you moved and you’re just not ready to tell us lol

Seungcheol smirks reading the comments; eyes flitting over to you from his place on the sofa.

“Moved? I wish! This place is probably waaaay more than my own rent though~” You pause, letting the sound of donations sound off and comments fly past on your laptop screen. “And I’m probably heading home tomorrow so get ready to say bye to this backdrop!” You pout.

therealchan99: can we quickly discuss those videos tho

angelhan: actually yes

Biting your lip, you note that Seungcheol’s eyes are already on you and that you’ve already hit the donation minimum to start your show. “Well…” You start pushing the straps of your bra down, unhooking the back until you can toss the flimsy material off. “What do you guys want to know? You know I kiss and tell~”

dom.cheol: how does he gets you so fuckin wet, baby?

alphagyu97: ur not rly friends are u? Is he ur bf?

alphagyu97: im not pressed either im just curious!!!

universe_WZ: thats what they all say

chwenon: yooo that last vid was fuckin fire tho

tangerine_kwan has donated $50

tangerine_kwan: is he ever gonna join u on cam? think u guys would be good

“Hmm~ Well, let’s start with dom.cheol’s question…” You shoot the camera a sultry smirk as you spread your legs; fingertips already dancing along the lace of your panties. “It’s really not hard~ He’s really good at what he does, y’know? Knows how to talk to me and get my panties wet~”

xcaliburDK: is he good looking

kitty_junjun: probably not as well as me 🤪

gentleman_josh95: stop while u r ahead

Letting out a soft giggle, you watch as Seungcheol rounds the sofa, leaning up against the back of it as he faces you. He keeps his phone in hand, thumb still dancing across the keyboard.

dom.cheol: he has to punish you so often though, baby.

artist8hao: i know, whats gotten into u babygirl? Why r u acting out so much?

“‘Cause I like it when he punishes me~” You lick your lips as you hook your thumbs into your panties, slowly guiding them down your legs. “But I like it when he’s sweet to me too~” Your eyes dance up to Seungcheol, tossing the material his way before speaking.

“Won’t you be sweet to me now?”

alphagyu97: oh shit hes there

universe_WZ: let him fuck your pretty pussy on cam baby

“Aww, I’d love that but he’s still a ‘lil too shy for a live show!” You run your fingertips through your folds, collecting the wetness on them before you bring them to your lips. “But not shy enough to lend your voice, maybe?”

“If that’s what you want, sweetheart.”

Seungcheol makes sure to raise his voice enough so that he’s within earshot of the mic; adrenaline rushing through his veins when he, too, notices the sudden influx of comments and donations at his sudden appearance. “My baby’s been good today though, hasn’t she?” Nodding, you get lost in Seungcheol’s firm stare as the sound of donations and comments fire off in the background.

“Mmhmm~ So why don’t you guide me and show me how a good girl gets rewarded?”

He sets his phone down onto the back of the sofa precariously, both hands in the pockets of his sweats as he watches you. “Normally, good girls get to sit on my cock but we’ll save that for another time, baby. For now, why don’t you get those fingers nice and wet for me? Let them see how good that mouth of yours is.”

therealchan99: those pretty lips that look so good around a cock, just like i thought

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

sleepy_wonu: fuck yeah

You make sure your fingers are properly wet before you drag them down your body, soft sighs on your lips. “Don’t tease me too much though, okay?” Seungcheol grins in return, picking up his phone and sending a quick donation to keep up appearances before he glances your way again.

“Of course. So why don’t you play with that cute ‘lil clit of yours. Bet it’s still nice and sensitive after last night, huh?”

A stuttered moan falls from your lips the second you start rubbing slow circles on your clit; eyes fluttering shut at the memory alone.

xcaliburDK: fuck, all that cum spilling out of her cunt was hot

artist8hao: bet she was nice and full huh? Such a shame she wasted it

Seungcheol chuckles under his breath, “Right? Guess I’ll just have to fuck it deeper into her pussy next time.” You can’t help but clench around emptiness as you pinch your clit between your fingers at his words.

“Ngh, he made me come home with cum trickling down my thighs…” You whimper, “Not that I minded.”

“She begged me to fuck her in the shower too. Wanted me to mark you up real pretty, didn’t you? So that all your viewers could see.”

“Mmhmm…” He watches as you slowly slide your fingers down your folds to your entrance before they slide back up to your clit. “Why don’t you put two fingers in, hmm? Pretend they’re mine while you fuck yourself on them.”

kitty_junjun: aww her fingers are so small compared to yours

gentleman_josh95: bet its not even enough for her anymore huh?

dom.cheol: probably not

You slowly ease in two fingers at once; moaning when you sink them knuckle deep. “O-oh, fuck… Wha--what should I do n-next?”

“Fuck yourself on them, baby. Go however fast or slow you want to. Make yourself cum on your fingers.” He pauses; running a hand through his hair before he shoots you a devilish smirk. “But tell me how badly you wish it were me, ‘cause we both know you do.”

alphagyu97: wheeew lets hear it babygirl

tangerine_kwan: yea baby tell us

“It’s---It’s not the s-same… ‘Cause your fingers are b-bigger than mine…” You whimper, “And--a-ah, and they’re longer too…” Scissoring your fingers, you let out a breathy moan when you start thrusting your fingers faster into yourself.

“I wish it were your fingers, knuckle deep inside my pussy and making me cum. F-fuck, and stretching me open…”

You place your thumb on your clit; rubbing harsh circles on the nub as you chase your high. 

Seungcheol watches with keen eyes, the way your heels dig into the sheets and the way your brows furrow in concentration; licking his lips when he can tell you’re already close to your orgasm.

“Now let’s see that pretty pussy cum, sweetheart.”

You towel your hair off after your shower; shuffling towards the living area as Seungcheol settles into his makeshift bed on the sofa.

“Don’t you want to sleep in the bed with me for once, ‘Cheol?”

His lips press into a lopsided smile, “Are you asking because it’s your last night here?”

“Maybe~”

He lets out a breathy laugh as he reaches for his pillow, gesturing you back towards his bed. “By the way, what was your idea for your show?” You sit cross-legged on the bed just as Seungcheol sets his pillow back against the headboard.

“...How do you feel about maybe filming with me at my place?” He quirks a brow at you just as he settles onto what he deems his side of the bed for the night. “Do tell.” He has a vague idea of where this is heading, but he lets you continue; curiosity eating away at him the longer you hesitate.

“Well, I was thinking… Maybe, and only if you’re okay with it, but… I was thinking maybe you could drive me back to my place? And I know it’s about an hour out from here but I’ll pay gas money! And we can just start heading towards my apartment a little before my show starts. That way you can use toys on me ‘n stuff. And I don’t mind if you spend the night either ‘cause it’ll probably be kinda late when we finish...”

Seungcheol nods; already thinking about the possibilities with the amount of toys you had at your place compared to his. “I mean, yeah, why not? And don’t worry about the gas money, I think we’ve both made enough money this week to last us a while.”

You can only pout in return, laying on your stomach next to Seungcheol who stares up at the ceiling. “Speaking of which… What’re we gonna do now?”

“What do you mean?”

Sighing, you run your fingers through your damp hair. “I mean… What are we going to do about the videos? Are--Are we still going to film together?”

His lips press into a firm line as a million thoughts run through his mind; he’d thought about it a lot himself the past few days since. “I have an idea but I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel about it.”

“Shoot, we’ve got nothin’ to lose I don’t think!”

Seungcheol eases onto his side as he meets your stare, “First of all, I don’t mind filming more videos with you. And to be honest, it’ll probably take me a bit of time before I’m okay with showing my face but I don’t mind being on your live cam shows either, if we can figure out some camera angles. But the thing is… I think if we’re going to be filming together, you need to change your filming schedule.”

Panic runs through you for a second at the idea but you quickly push it aside to hear his suggestion. “How so?”

“Well, right now you’re doing shows on Fridays and Saturdays, every other Monday and every other Wednesday, right? Your next show is Wednesday which is fine but I think if we end up filming videos together regularly, we need to adjust how often you actually cam and how often we post pre-recorded videos. ‘Cause let’s be real, you’d be way too tired if you kept it that frequent. Three live shows a week and filming with me? It’s way too much for you.”

This time, it’s your lips that press into a firm line. But Seungcheol was right. There was no way you could keep your normal schedule on top of filming with him in between. “That… That makes sense. What are we gonna do about, uh, I mean---’cause we don’t really live near each other…” Mumbling, you trail off, hoping that Seungcheol knew the answer.

“Hmm, well, you can keep your Friday shows and then I can swing by on the weekends. We can film a few videos over the weekend, even if they’re just short ones, or even film long ones and then you can just cut them into shorter pieces. So, in theory, you’d only do two live shows a week and one upload of both of us? We can figure out everything else as we go in terms of splitting profits and stuff.”

You nod at his suggestion, feeling better about the idea. “That sounds reasonable! I’ll have to make a notice for my page but hopefully it shouldn’t be too big of a change…”

Seungcheol yawns as he stretches, eyes filled with sleep when he looks at you.

“We don’t have to do anything too soon either. Those videos are still makin’ money so let’s get some sleep!”

You and Seungcheol spend the Saturday afternoon driving around town; even going so far as to drop by the roller rink one last time to say your thanks and goodbye to Jeongguk.

“The two of you are somethin’ else, man. Really. With my whole heart, I just--I love it.” He pretends to wipe a tear off of his face as you and Seungcheol share a look.

“Promise me you’ll think of my offer?”

You nod in return, a soft giggle escaping your lips. “I promise! Seungcheol tells me you stream often yourself so I feel like I can trust you but only if you get my good side too!” This time Jeongguk’s eyes light up with excitement as he reaches for your hands over the concession stand counter.

“Oh my god, if---if I promise to give you half a cut of profits, would you show up on my gaming stream? You don’t even have to be good, just if we collabed, I really think---”

“Okay, ‘Guk, I think that’s enough for now. You can ask her a thousand questions next time.” You pat Jeongguk’s hands as he pouts. “I’ll think about it, okay?” You whisper under your breath; a small smile on his lips as he nods back.

“Don’t be a stranger!”

Seungcheol links his hand with yours as he leads you out of the roller rink and back to his car; eyes flitting to his watch to check the time. “We’ve got time to have dinner and then we probably need to hit the road after.” You nod, “Sounds good! Where are we headin’ for dinner?”

“‘Guk and I went to this diner called ‘Dynamite’ a while back… The food’s alright and I haven’t taken you there yet so we can go there if you’re okay with it?”

“Sounds good!”

Seungcheol pulls into the parking lot of the diner 30 minutes later as the same neon signs greet him back. He parks near the entrance again, noting that it seemed fairly empty this time as well.

“I wonder if the guy is still here…” He mutters as he unbuckles his seatbelt. “What guy?”

The two of you exit his car; jogging up to him as he waits for you. “Just the guy who was our server when I was here with ‘Guk. He seemed familiar and it was weird.”

Seungcheol opens the door for you, letting you in first as the cold AC blasts you.

“Welcome to Dynamite, I’m Jun and I----Oh fuck!” Jun drops the menus in his hand, lips settling into a wide smile as he walks up to you and Seungcheol, tripping on his own feet as he meets you at the door. “I’m a big fan!” He harshly whispers. You blink up at him just before your eyes flit down to his pastel coloured name tag.

Jun.

Jun.

Oh. kitty_junjun.

“O-oh, you’re---you’re kitty_junjun aren’t you?” You whisper back; already noting that he was quite handsome himself.

Fuck, are all my regulars hot?

“That’s me, baby! And oh--you! It’s you! I remember you from last time! You were with that other guy! Are you… y’know. The guy.” Jun wiggles his eyebrows as he steps back and picks up two menus from the counter. Seungcheol mentally grimaces but he nods.

“That’d be me.”

Jun’s eyes light up with enthusiasm as he gestures for the two of you to follow him towards the seating area. “I’m such a huge fan, really! Of Cherry and, well, really both of you now.” He leads you to a booth before he sets the menus down onto the table. “I hope you don’t mind but I volunteer to be your server and the milkshakes are on me tonight!” Finishing with a wink, he leaves the two of you alone as he walks back towards the counter.

“Wow, ‘Cheol when you said small town, you really meant it, huh?” Giggling, you take in Seungcheol’s mildly embarrassed appearance. “Hey, you’re famous!”

Am I famous? He thinks, Or is it just my dick?

“So that’s three people that could clock me in person… I mean, I guess it could be worse.” He mumbles; cheeks flushed pink when he sees Jun walking back towards your table. Jun leans against the booth, nodding as he props a hand on his hip.

“Sorry, I hope I’m not bothering you guys. It’s just, I feel like I’m meeting a celebrity!” He laughs, “I’d ask for your autograph but then I think that’d be a little too weird.”

You can’t help but giggle at his comment, turning slightly to face him better. “Guess you were right when you said you thought you saw me, huh?” He snaps his fingers as the memory comes back to him in an instant.

“You’re right! Fuck, I almost forgot about that. Man, I thought I was having a fever dream.”

Jun stares off to the side before he fixes his gaze onto Seungcheol; eyes wide. “Hey, I never caught your name, I don’t think?” Seungcheol gulps, hoping that Jun doesn’t connect the dots as easily as Jeongguk did.

“It’s Seungcheol.”

“Oh… okay! Well, cool, are you guys ready to order?”

He lets out a breath he doesn’t realize he was holding as you relay your order to Jun; lips falling into a shaky smile as he gives his order to Jun once you were done.

“Okay! I’ll be back in a little bit!” Jun shoots the two of you a smile before he leaves the two of you alone again.

“Well, this is an interesting Saturday if I do say so myself!” Seungcheol can’t stop the laugh that bubbles out of him; shaking his head at the way you seem to take it so easily. “I can’t believe you’re so chill about running into people that know you!”

“Like you said, ‘Cheol! It could be worse~” You pause, “This one time I was at the grocery store and this older man came up to me and said he recognized me. I was like, cool, y’know? I know my viewers are all different ages so I don’t judge. But then, two kids came up to him calling him ‘daddy’ and I literally bolted out of that place before his wife could find me!”

The two of you share a laugh before changing the topic; only stopping when Jun comes by with your orders, twenty minutes later.

“Hey, this is kinda random but it’s not so busy right now, so… Did you wanna sit with us and chat?” You offer as your eyes dance between Seungcheol and Jun. The latter’s eyes twinkle with excitement as he sets the last plate down.

“Wait, seriously? I can take my 15 if you’re being serious!” This time, you look to Seungcheol for his opinion, already noticing the way he seems more relaxed.

“Yeah, that’s cool with me.”

Jun all but runs off to tell his manager as you scoot over to give him space when he gets back. “I’m surprised you asked if he wanted to sit with us while we had dinner.”

“Why not? He seems nice! And we’re making friends!” Seungcheol nods in agreement just as he starts eating and just as Jun makes it back to the booth with a milkshake of his own.

You pat the empty spot next to you as he gasps slightly. “I feel like the second luckiest man on earth.”

He slides into the booth next to you, making sure to keep a reasonable distance. “Hey! You’ve got a show tonight so… are you two, y’know…” Seungcheol makes a conscious effort to not choke on his food as he chews slower than he usually would; eyes flitting over to you just as you set your utensils down.

“Um, yeah! We don’t really know what we’re gonna do yet but no spoilers okay~ Nobody knows what he looks like, Junnie!” You pout. Jun can only vibrate in his seat; a pink blush on his cheeks at the sudden nickname.

“Of course! My lips are sealed shut! And well, if you’re ever back in town, I’ll give you guys my employee discount if you swing by!” He grins.

The three of you talk about various topics within Jun’s fifteen minute break, thankfully none that involve camming. Jun pouts when his time is up, a sigh on his lips when he stands. “Damn, well, I guess I’ll see you later then, huh?” He wiggles his eyebrows, chuckling.

“Just wave me over if you guys need anything, okay?”

The rest of dinner goes on without issue and Seungcheol finds himself in a lighter mood than when the two of you first arrived at the diner.

You make sure to leave Jun a big tip, winking at him on your way out.

“Ready to head home after a week?” Seungcheol shoots you  a sad smile as he walks you to the passenger’s side of his car. He opens the door for you and lets you in before shutting it and jogging to the driver’s side.

“I mean, it’s not like we’re not gonna see each other anymore. If anything we’re gonna be seeing each other fairly regularly since you’re gonna come over to film!”

Seungcheol nods as he sets your apartment into his GPS; pulling out of the driveway as he begins the hour drive to your place.

“Yeah, and I mean, we can figure out what schedule works better as we go. Maybe we only need to film every other week or something too, right?”

“Mmhmm! I’ll start drafting a notice for the schedule change tomorrow and then I’ll run it by you before it goes up.”

The hour drive seems to go by quicker than you expect as the two of you spend the time singing along to songs on the radio; judging Seungcheol’s impeccable vocal skill when a rock song comes on.

“Wow, I--I didn’t know you had the vocal cords to do that, ‘Cheol!” He takes his eyes off of the road for a split second to shoot you a cocky grin.

“I’m pretty good at karaoke. We should go next time! Maybe invite all of our new friends.”

You snort in response, slapping his arm as he pulls into a residential part of town. “And if the person working the front desk of the karaoke place knows us?”

“Then we invite them in too!”

A slight blush paints your cheeks when you realize how much Seungcheol seemed to have relaxed in the last few days, if not hours. You knew it was never easy to get used to being recognized in person and there were still a lot of times where even you were flustered in person. 

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” Seungcheol’s concerned voice has you immediately peering through the window; eyebrows furrowed when you see the police cars parked outside of your apartment complex.

“W--wait that’s my--my apartment complex, ‘Cheol pull over!”

He parks the car a little closer to the scene; getting out of the car with you as the dread becomes more and more evident on your face. “Hey, I’m here with you, okay? Maybe it’s just nothing.” He offers; simultaneously knowing that his words were currently going in one ear and out the other.

The two of you walk hand in hand up to the front where you spot your landlord standing with a police officer. You call her name as she turns to you, gesturing for you to come closer.

“Didn’t you get my text message? Or any of my calls from the last 45 minutes?” You shake your head no in response, eyes dancing to Seungcheol who’s expression matches your own. “No--No I--I was out at dinner, I didn’t even hear my phone go off. What’s going on here?”

She sighs, arms crossed in front of her chest as the police officer clears his throat. “Well, Miss, there were a few break-ins tonight here. There’s a lot of broken glass and a lot of missing items. Thankfully nobody was injured but unfortunately we’re going to be running an investigation so it could take some time.”

“I--w--what about m-my apartment?” Your landlord sighs, “I’m sorry, honey, but your apartment was one of them, I---hey!”

You all but drag Seungcheol with you as you start making your way towards the entrance of the complex, panic and adrenaline guiding you as you all but throw the front door open. The sounds of the officer and your landlord shouting your name become fuzzy as you make your way through the halls; side stepping the stray items that were left on the floor. You make it to your hall when you notice a police officer standing at your front door that seems to have almost been ripped from the hinges.

“Miss, you can’t be in here, we’re---”

“This is my apartment, please just let me in!”

The officer standing at your apartment door notes the distress in your voice and sighs, “Show me some ID and I can let you in.” You quickly fish out your ID as he cross-references it with his documents. “Alright, go ahead. Please just don’t touch any of the hard surfaces.”

Your palm feels clammy against Seungcheol’s as you step into your apartment; shaky gasps on your lips when you notice the items strewn about. “O-oh my god…”

Seungcheol squeezes your hand tight, unsure of what to say. This was definitely the last thing he would’ve expected to happen at the end of your one week stay with him.

You can’t help the tears that threaten to spill as you look around your apartment and Seungcheol quickly notes the glassy look in your eyes when you turn to face him. Seungcheol quickly turns to the officer, voice stern. “I’m sorry to ask but can you give us a second alone, please? This is a lot for her to take in.” The officer nods as he steps back into the hallway.

“Baby? Tell me how you’re feeling, sweetheart.”

It only takes a split second before you’re sobbing into Seungcheol’s chest; his arms wrapping tightly around you.

He rubs your back gently, cooing to you softly as you let out your emotions. “Seungcheol, I, hic, wh--what am I--I, hic, g-gonna d-do? I…” You trail off as your mind goes a mile a minute. He’s unsure of how to comfort you, eyes taking in the ransacked room.

“We--we should probably talk to the officer outside? Figure out what’s going on. I--I mean, you’re definitely coming home with me. I’m not leaving you here like this and with nowhere to go.”

You pull away from his chest, tears still streaming down your face when you look up at him. Seungcheol feels his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. God please, I’d do anything to make sure she never cries like this again, he thinks.

“But my--my s-stuff, I--this--”

“I know, baby, I know. Let’s just both be thankful you weren’t here when they broke in, okay? We can replace the material stuff.” He smooths your hair down and wipes your cheeks, leaning down until he’s at eye level with you.

“I promise you, we’ll figure it out, okay? I’m not leaving you until we do.”

Nodding, you let Seungcheol take your hand as he brings you back to the front door where the officer is. “Hello? Excuse me?”

“Yes?”

Seungcheol looks your way before clearing his throat. “We just want to know what happened to my girlfriend’s apartment.” You squeeze his hand, hiding behind him.

“Well, we can’t really know for sure. A few other apartments were broken into. For some, the locks were picked and for others, it seemed like they just used blunt force against the doors until they gave way. Unfortunately, seeing as this is a gated apartment complex, the hallways don’t have any security cameras and we have no idea how the suspects got in past the gate.” The officer pauses for a moment as he lets his words sink in. “Usually with cases like this, a lot of the material goods eventually show up in local pawn shops or even just discarded in near-by trash containers. And judging from the building history, this isn’t the first time these burglars came by. This seems to be the second time. But that’s all we know for now. I suggest you pack some of your things and hang tight in a hotel until we get more info because, unfortunately, your door is ready to fall off of the hinges and we need to get a detective in here to see if there’s any fingerprints on the surfaces.”

“Will there be someone patrolling this place all night? How are we sure they won’t come back?”

“We’ll have an officer posted at all times, young man. I promise you nobody will get back in here.”

The tears stream down your cheeks as you quietly stand behind Seungcheol; lip quivering as Seungcheol thanks the officer for the information before turning to face you again.

“‘Ch--Cheol, what’re w-we, hic, gonna d-do now?” Your voice sounds so small to him as you keep your eyes focused on the floor.

“Has your apartment been broken into before? Be honest with me.” 

“O--once, but--but it w-wasn’t this bad...” He clenches his jaw at your words. How the fuck did this happen before without anyone finding out? “Wait, so this has happened in the past? And you never said anything?” You peer up at him, eyelashes wet with tears. 

“It, hic, they--they didn’t take as much s-stuff that t-time. But--but now I’m, hic, won--wondering if they were just s-scouting...” Seungcheol’s vision goes red; knowing exactly what he wanted to do and say but unsure of the possible outcome.

Fuck, screw it.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do, sweetheart.” He pauses, exhaling deeply before he continues. “We’re gonna pack a bag, take all your important things that you can find. I don’t care if we have to fill up my entire car with your things. And you’re coming home with me. I don’t care if you have to break the lease on this place, but I can’t in good conscience know you’re living here if people are breaking into it like this.” You open your mouth to speak, brows furrowed. “But--”

“No! No buts this time. I--I can have Jeongguk help with moving. I’m sure Seokjin-hyung can take his shift at the roller rink for one day to help us move your things. And we’ll figure things out as we go.”

“The r-rent, I--”

Seungcheol shoots you a small smile as he tilts your head up to meet his soft and warm eyes. “Please, don’t worry about something like that right now. I’m just happy you’re okay. And that you weren’t here alone where I couldn’t help you.”

You nod shakily, hands covering Seungcheol’s as he holds your face in his hands. “Seungcheol, I’m so--so sorry, I--I don’t even k-know where to start, I--this is---it’s all just so much. Really I can just---just get a h-hotel and you can g-go home...” The tears threaten to spill again but Seungcheol quickly tugs you into his inviting arms. 

This was by-far not at all how he expected to end his weekend. And he could only assume you felt the same way.

“I know it’s a lot. But we’re good at figuring things out on the fly, right? You have to trust me on this one. You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. But for right now, I think you need to hurry and post a notice that there’s no show tonight while I look for your luggage so we can grab some things and get out of here, okay?” 

He releases you from his hold, leaning down to kiss you on the forehead. 

“I’ll fix it, I promise.”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #scoups #seungcheol

[my-happy-little-bean]

Rooftop Reassurance

words: 1851 pairing: logince warnings: talks about committing suicide (though no one dies), alcohol consumption, depression, swearing, breakups summary: logan finds a stranger one night sitting on balcony rails in tears, a thousand feet above the city below; then find roman six months later, standing on a table singing with a bright grin. both occurrences confuse him, but he decides to chat with him for both. based on the prompt: you saw him on the rooftop twice; once at a party, and the other when he was sitting on the ledge.

a/n - pt. 3 of ‘let’s indulge bean in their slightly low quality, very personal fics’ ~ (a real series now on ao3 oops–)

this time, this was all inspired by one of my deep dives on tik tok at 3 am. yes, i’m actually writing based off a tik tok. this is where i’m at now (there’s funny people there alright–)

anyway here’s hoping that this all makes sense and is good enough to justify me posting it, heh :’)

enjoy!

read on ao3~

---

“Holy shit.”

Virgil lowered his drink. “What?”

Logan didn’t give Virgil a response, instead moving past him in the direction his eyes were set on. He didn’t even look back when Virgil made an attempt to further question him. 

He knocked into a few drunk shoulders in his haste, making his way to the rooftop entrance. 

Logan had been to Patton’s apartment a few times and for some strange reason, there was always a party happening. Maybe that was because, for an even stranger reason, Patton always had something to celebrate. 

The day he found him was after Patton’s almost-birthday party. 

Streamers weaved themselves through the balcony railing, the sign reading “Happy Birthday (for real this time)!” now lopsided and close to the floor. Logan’s eyes scanned the entire scene until he saw

A man, sitting on the rails of the balcony, with his legs dangling over the edge and in the air.

Roman, standing on a table, holding his drink high in the air with a big grin. 

Logan slowly approached him, afraid that if he made any sudden movements, the ghost of him would disappear in an instant.

However, when he got close enough to the man,  he realized this was no ghost. 

In fact, Roman was already responding to him, hopping off the table and waving a few friends off before going in his direction. 

Logan felt a chill run down his spine. 

“Hey!” Roman said brightly, holding his arms up for what appeared to be a hug. Logan, still stiff from surprise, simply let it happen. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Logan echoed incredulously. “You’re standing on a table.”

“Are you alright?”

Roman blinked. “I’m fine!”

“ Totally fine.” 

Logan felt a smile drift onto his face, one of a foreign kind of relief he wasn’t expecting. 

“It’s...well, it is really good to see you,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses. He could smell the beer off of Roman’s pearly grin. Oh well. 

“You look...good,” Logan hesitantly added. 

The man laughed so hard, but didn’t turn around. He doubled over in his hysterics, and Logan’s breath hitched.

“Why thank you, Microsoft nerd!” Roman chirped, still laughing as he reached over to grab Logan’s hand. The contact made Logan’s head spin. 

“So are you going to dance with me?” 

“Because no one danced with me tonight.”

Logan blinked.

“Dance?” 

“This is a party, bro-chacho!” Roman let go of his hand to swing his arm around Logan’s still-tense shoulder. “We gotta dance! Besides, it’s the least I can do for

the man who’s gonna save my life,” the man laughed again. “Is that who you’re gonna be?” 

Logan paused. “It is unreasonable of me to assume I could save your life, but I can get you standing next to me, which would be a good start.” 

He outstretched his hand to the man who wasn’t even looking at him. 

“Please, 

Roman, you don’t have to repay me for anything,” Logan said slowly. “I haven’t talked to you in so long;I am just glad to see you.”

The man turned his head slightly. Against the forgotten fairy lights’ hues, Logan could see streaks of black mascara trailing down his cheeks. Then, he turned his head back, facing away from him once more. 

“I’m glad to see you too,” Roman said; more softer, more vulnerable this time. “Sorry, I’m not like, keeping you from anything am I? I kinda just saw you and went for it, heh. I can let you go back to whatever you’re doing...?” 

“No no,” Logan hummed. 

“I’m going to sit with you.” 

Roman nodded readily with that glowing smile again, taking Logan’s hand once more and leading them to a quiet corner of the balcony, next to the rails

Logan did his best to climb over, shakily settling himself a thousand feet above the ground. 

“You should get off,” the man said darkly. 

“You should as well.” 

“How have you been doing?” Logan asked as he and Roman sat on a couch next to each other. Roman smiled, almost sheepishly. 

“Better, actually,” he admitted. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

Logan felt the words "already?" sit on his tongue, but he decided to actively practice this 'empathy' Patton had mentioned to him once.

“Ah really?”

“Yeah.” Roman’s smile only grew. “His name is Dr. Picani. He's really good at his job.”

“I got dumped,” the man groaned, seemingly giving up on getting Logan to leave him alone. His grasp on the rails tightened, which Logan was secretly thankful for. “I know it’s a stupid reason for being this upset and an even stupider reason to be sitting on a balcony because it was never really a good relationship to begin with, but fuck I loved him and he was the only familiar thing in my life keeping me…” 

He lifted one hand to wave it around, wobbling ever so slightly. He seemed to be struggling to find words because he finished by saying, “You know?”

“Please be careful–”

“I just don’t fucking get it,” the man cut him off. He motioned over to the city below them, barely buzzing as the late night simmered into early morning. “Isn’t this the part in life where everything clicks? When you’re 28 with someone you love and a job you don’t hate? Isn’t this the part where you stare out at the world you live in and smile because you got past the bad shit and now you’re here?”

Logan sighed. 

“I...I don’t think that part ever comes.” 

“This is the worst rooftop reassurance ever.”

“Oh." Logan chuckled. "Well, he sounds like a very positive presence in your life.”

“You know, you can just say you’re happy for me,” Roman teased, nudging him slightly, “you know, like a normal person?” 

Logan blushed. “I am happy for you.” 

“When’s the part where I’m happy, then?” the man continued. New tears seemed to run across dried ones. “If that part never comes, is there at least a part where I’m just...okay?”

“Of course there is.” Against his better caution, he lifted his own hand and rested it against the stranger’s knee. “There are plenty of moments; better moments. There is no singular part in which your life changes for the better and stays that way forever, but there is a continuous stream of...of better moments.” 

“I never got to formally thank you for that night,” Roman said once some silence had passed. He giggled again, all light and airy. “Well, never got to thank you properly. I was too drunk when I said thank you that night, so that doesn’t count.” 

“You are also drunk now.”

“...that’s besides the point.” Roman cleared his throat. “So to make up for it, I– Roman Prince– would like to say

“I’m sorry,” the man said. He laughed again, all dark and heavy. “I know it’s probably not a great look, to be drunk and sitting on the edge of a balcony that’s waaaay too high above the ground–"

“Glad we are finally addressing that.”

“–but I appreciate the fact that you stayed. Really, I do.”

Logan nodded. “Of course, Roman.” 

A beat of silence. 

“I...I wasn’t going to jump.” Roman cleared his throat. “Obviously.”

Logan gulped, suddenly afraid. “Obviously.” 

“I just needed to clear my head.”

“Understandable.”

“But– and now this is going to sound concerning but it’s not–”

“Not a great way to preface this–”

“But imagine if I did fall?” The man tilted his head upwards at the moving clouds above them. “All those feelings, rushing through you one by one as gravity pulls you down, down, down…”

Logan, for a moment, let himself stare at the stranger as he talked. After all, he didn’t have the words to respond to his ramble, so he decided to listen. 

Roman must have decided to move on from their seemingly sentimental conversation because he spontaneously launched into a subject Logan knew nothing about. Still, Logan did his best to listen. 

Roman’s eyes seem to light up like lightning  without the thunder that kept the storm alive. 

He waved his hands so animatedly, which Logan never understood; no human had to express themselves with that much physicality, yet when he was still, he didn’t seem to be human at all. 

And he was beautiful, Logan couldn’t help but think.

Why didn’t he see that?

“Hey!” Logan jumped as Roman snapped his fingers in front of his face. “You okay?”

“You’ve been quiet for a while,” the man said, snapping Logan out of his trance. “Did I go too far?”

“No, no you didn’t.” Logan shakily pushed up his glasses. “It’s just…”

He sighed. 

“The way you talk alone is something worth staying alive for.” Logan took a deep breath and lifted his gaze to meet him. “I know this isn’t the happiest story but… but you need to tell everyone your stories, no matter what kind. Everyone needs to hear you, at least once.”

“I’m okay,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses and straightening up. “Sorry, I was just...thinking.”

“Thinking?” “About–

the way this stranger smiled

–that night.”

Roman stiffened at the words, and Logan hastily went to pick them back up, adding, “Um, we do not need to talk about it anymore if you so desire–”

“Nah, it’s okay!” Roman, to his surprise, blushed. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just don’t want your impression of me to forever be tainted by that night.”

Logan shook his head softly. “You are much more to me than a moment of sadness.”

“It’s not all sad, though,” the man said through sniffles. “I mean...I just attended a really great party.”

“Even if the party was for a made up occasion?”

“All occasions are made up.”

“...touché.”

“Plus, I kinda made a friend.” His voice seemed much quieter than the louder, more thunderous one that painfully struck with every word it spoke. “And that makes me feel a lot better.”

“It does?” Logan frowned. “But I didn’t solve anything. I just...said things.”

“Yeah.” The lightning in his eye seemed to fade into a small twinkle. “Sometimes that’s all someone needs.” A pause. “Does...does that sound stupid? I probably sound stupid.”

“Hey,” Roman suddenly said, “I know this is rather forward of me–”

“I feel as though nothing is quite too forward for you–”

“–but could I maybe grab some drinks with you sometime?” Roman blushed. “It can be coffee, heh. Don’t want to always be drunk and stupid around you.”

“You’re not stupid.” 

“That would perhaps be a wise choice,” Logan said with a small laugh. Roman grinned at the sound. 

“I just want to get to know you,” Roman said, leaning in closely; close enough that Logan was blinking so hard trying to focus on him properly. “And...and I want to have a better moment with you.”

Logan smiled. 

“I’m glad I could be here for you…”

“Roman,” the man– Roman– said. “I’ll shake your hand when we’re down from up here and you can tell me yours, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Logan finally said. “I’d like that.”

---

reblogs/likes/whatever would be lovely ~

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #logince #gabbie writes things #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan/roman #logic/creativity #logic #creativity #virgil sanders #patton sanders #hurt/comfort

[moonsgreatestboydetective]

Howdy Folks!

So I know I haven't been very active on here recently (and to all my new followers, hi and welcome, please feel free to message me anytime, I love talking to y'all!), between moving to my new apartment and the three (3!!!!!) weeks it took to get the wifi set up, I’ve been very reliant on the queue lately.

But!! That will hopefully be changing now that I have been getting into more of a routine with my new job and am finally finished unpacking, so I should have time for my hobbies now. Like, say for example, writing. Which I have been doing!! For the first time in a literal year!! 

Between my hype about Ethersea and my biannual relisten to Balance, I’m hopefully going to finally have the inspiration (and frankly, the actual energy) to finally get some work done on my Seven Birds series and some of the other WIPs that have been bouncing around my brain meats for the past year. As promised waaaay back in August, my companion fic to IPRE Mission One: Applicant Interviews is finally in the editing stage, and I am hoping to have my usual preview posted on Friday and the fic posted on my AO3 NightStreaktheBold the week after, so stay tuned! 

#personal #my work!!! #fanfiction #the adventure zone #taz balance

[kayteewritessteve]

🌹

Hello love!

Sorry for the late reply, I was trying to decide which upcoming WIP I wanted to share. I have too many, and a few will never see the light of day, so I tried to pick one I knew I’d actually get around to finishing and posting one day. So here it is, it’s more than a sentence but like, is anyone even surprised that I couldn’t stick to just one sentence? 🤣 because I’m definitely not lol

So this is the opening part to a 4 part mini series that I have half way finished. It was a request for a heavy angst story and will be named Come Back to Me. So without further ado, here is waaaay more than a sentence of this upcoming mini series lol

Final note, please keep in mind this is a veeery rough draft, I’ll change a bunch before I eventually start posting it. This is like a skeleton of what the final story will be. So please ignore any errors or mistakes you find in this!

* * *

Injuries are extremely common in this line of work. Scratches, bruises, contusions; those are all things an Avenger has to deal with on a daily basis. But they are just a few of the things that can happen on the job, the smaller of the injuries that occur more often. However you also have to add in the larger trauma’s like broken bones, knife and bullet wounds, and concussions into the mix. So it goes without saying that missions can be extremely dangerous, deadly even.

But we are talking about the worlds mightiest heroes here. Men and women who were raised, altered, or manufactured to be the best they can be. To be faster, smarter, stronger, better than everyone else.

So one of them being severely hurt on a mission didn’t happen often, but it did happen. It sort of came with the territory of being an Avenger. Every one of them knew the risks, knew what they signed up for, and were acutely aware of what could happen if they didn’t stay sharp. If they let their guard down, even if just for a moment.

But what happens if they aren’t on a mission? What happens if they are just living their regular day to day lives and something terrible happens? Some freak accident that renders one of them down for the count, or worse. They weren’t trained for those sorts of things, those situations, they weren’t prepared for them at all. Because it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. Not to them, at least. And not like, like this.

* * *

So there we have it, I hope you enjoyed this little sneak peek into one of my upcoming stories. Thanks for partaking in this, lovely, I really like getting to share small pieces of what I’m working on for the future. ❤️❤️❤️

- Kaytee.

#asks #answered asks #ask box messages #send a 🌹 to get a future WIP snippet #Come Back to Me #angst #mini series #4 parts #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #avenger!reader #steve rogers #au fanfiction #fanfiction #steve rogers au

[haledamage]

The Officer’s Ball

It’s finally finished! at just over 9000 words, this ended up waaaay longer than I expected it to. thanks again to @queen-scribbles, both for the encouragement and for all your lovely posts about Keme and Jorgan that got me back into SW:TOR and led to this fic. It literally wouldn’t exist without you :)

Vesiya Hallis/Aric Jorgan, sometime in early act 2? After Balmorra but before Hoth, but nothing canon is mentioned anyway so it doesn’t matter.

"Captain Hallis." Ves heard General Garza's voice from the comm as she passed through the room and snapped to attention almost automatically. "Good, I'm glad I caught you before you disembarked."

Those were never good words to hear. "Is there a problem, General?"

"For once, no, there isn't. I'm happy to say I'm calling with possible good news for a change." 

Vesiya Hallis had never in her life believed something less than she believed Garza right now, and the general's next words only confirmed her suspicions. "Captain, you may or may not be aware, but there's an annual Officer's Ball being held in about three weeks' time. It's a chance for senators, high-ranking military personnel, and other influential figures of the Republic to socialize outside of work and strengthen the bonds of the Republic's leadership." She was clearly reading from a script or an invitation. "The Senate has asked that Havoc Squad be in attendance this year."

Ves stood in silence for several long moments, staring unflinchingly at the hologram of her commanding officer and waiting for her to say she was just kidding. When that didn’t happen, she said as politely as possible, “With all due respect, sir, don't we have bigger things to worry about than a party?”

“That isn't your decision, Captain,” Garza said, tone sharp, before her posture relaxed just the slightest amount. “Unfortunately, it isn't mine either. I happen to agree with you, but command has made it clear this is not a request.”

“Yes, sir,” Ves said, because there was nothing else she could say. She wasn't going to pick a fight over a party invitation, tempting as it was.

“Good. Oh, and Captain? It's a black tie affair. You may want to invest in a dress. Garza out.”

Vesiya stared at the empty holocomm after Garza ended the call. She stayed until she heard the telltale sound of boots on the durasteel deck of the ship - Dorne’s deliberate footsteps, light but purposeful, coming from the medbay, and Jorgan coming from the armory, his stride faster and determined, but also quieter, still moving like a sniper.

Dammit. They were going to be even less happy about this new development than she was.

-------

“She wants us to what,” Jorgan growled. At the same time, Dorne said, “I beg your pardon, sir?”

“Havoc Squad is cordially invited to attend the Officer's Ball,” Ves said with much more enthusiasm than she was actually feeling. "It's in a little more than three weeks, on Coruscant."

"You can't be serious, sir." Jorgan already sounded like he wanted to argue with her about it and was just trying to find the right angle of attack. 

"I wish I wasn't." Vesiya leaned a hip against the wall across from both of them. "Garza made it clear that we don't have a choice in the matter. It's an order, from somewhere above her."

"How far above?" Dorne was clearly trying to find a way out of their unwanted shore leave as well, but where Jorgan got angry, Dorne got calculating. Ves could almost hear the numbers running in her head.

"Far enough that she wouldn't tell me who the orders come from." She held up a hand, forestalling more arguments. "For now, we finish the job we're on. We should be able to finish up our business here in the next few days, and then we would be headed back to Coruscant anyway. We'll just stay a little longer than we originally intended."

"I'd like to go on record as being completely against this, sir."

"You and me both, Jorgan." She clapped a hand on his shoulder. He didn't immediately shrug her off, so she was pretty sure he wasn't as angry as he claimed to be - or at the very least, he wasn't blaming her for it. "But unless we want to refuse a direct order, we're just going to have to deal with it."

"We've refused orders before," he said, quietly enough that it was just meant for her, amusement in his voice.

Ves fought to stay serious, but didn't quite succeed. "Don't encourage me, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

-------

Vesiya hated clothes shopping on Coruscant, especially in the Senate districts. No matter where you went it was always too crowded, the shopkeepers either completely ignored you or wouldn’t leave you alone (depending on how many credits they thought you had), and she always had the distinct feeling she was being watched everywhere she went. It had been years since she'd needed anything that required a trip to the upper level markets, and even then it was usually something for her mother, not herself.

Yet here she was, bright and early in the morning, with her squad's expense card and her medical officer.

Dorne was trying her best not to look like a tourist and not quite succeeding. Her eyes darted between the gleaming storefronts to the affluently dressed shoppers to the distant lights of the Senate tower. Even in their civvies, the two of them stood out like a sore thumb - and not only because Ves was one of the few non-humans out shopping today.

"First time on Coruscant, Elara?"

“Yes, sir. Considering my background,” she said vaguely, since they were very much not in a safe place to be specific, “Command thought it unwise to allow me this close to the heart of the Republic.”

Ves bit the inside of her cheek to keep from saying something rude about Republic Command. Elara had proved her loyalty in every way a person could; she deserved better than the way she was treated. Only a little of her anger leaked into her words when she said, "Maybe at first, sure, but it's been years."

"I'm sure they thought that level of caution was necessary," Elara said lightly. "I take it this isn't your first time here, then."

Ves allowed her the subject change. “I grew up here. My mother is a senator, my father's a retired admiral, my twin brother is SIS, and I have a little brother who's a Jedi. Or a student Jedi, anyway. I'm not entirely sure how it works.” She probably knew all of that, though. It was all in her file; the only part that was classified was Vitrin’s SIS status, and Elara had high enough clearance to have access to that information. “My whole life has orbited around Coruscant.”

"You don't talk much about your family," Elara said quietly.

Ves shrugged. "I was always worried about being judged by their merits instead of my own. The less I talk about them, the more I get to be seen as 'the Commander of Havoc Squad' instead of 'the Admiral’s Daughter.'"

"I can understand that."

"You know, I thought you might." Dorne was a big deal name in the Empire as much as Hallis was in the Republic. It could be hard to grow under such a big shadow, but they were both doing okay. "So what about you?"

Elara hesitated. "I believe I've told you about my family before."

"You have. I meant where are you from? What's it like?"

"I grew up on Dromund Kaas, the Imperial homeworld." Elara sounded like she was giving a report, clipped and professional, like her homeworld held no emotional significance to her any longer. "It's a forest world, steeped in the history of the Empire all the way to its foundations. As for what it's like… well, that would depend on how much you like rain, sir."

Ves grinned at how serious her friend was. Even when they weren't working, she never seemed to fully relax. "You don't have to 'sir' me, Elara. We're off duty. You can just call me by my name."

"Yes, sir… Vesiya."

She laughed at her friend’s awkwardness. "You call call me 'Hallis' if you're more comfortable being on last-name basis. Works for Jorgan."

"I have always wondered about that," Elara said slowly. "I didn't feel it was my place to ask."

"Well, you have my permission to speak freely."

"You and Lieutenant Jorgan seem close," Elara said immediately, as if she'd been holding back on commenting on it for months.

“I… suppose we are,” Ves said carefully. It was an understatement. She and Jorgan had been through hell together and dragged each other out the other side. There was no one she trusted more in the entire galaxy; not even her twin brother came close. He was her best friend and her biggest rival and lately, possibly something more. There had been a few moments that she could feel a real spark between them, but neither of them were quite ready to cross that line yet.

Of course, she couldn’t tell any of this to Elara. Could she? Ves was fairly sure she was breaking some regulation or other just thinking about Jorgan the way she did, much less speaking any of it out loud.

The look Elara gave her said she wasn’t doing a very good job keeping it to herself anyway. She raised an amused eyebrow and continued, “Then why are the two of you still on a last-name basis? You seem to have no issue calling me by my first name.”

"I'm not entirely sure Jorgan knows my first name," Vesiya said dryly, then sighed. "It's… complicated. When we first met, we… butt heads, a little. A lot. He pushed and I pushed back and we were… not antagonistic, but certainly not friendly." She scratched absent-mindedly at her forearm, at a faded burn scar there. She didn't like to think about Ord Mantell. "His joining Havoc Squad involved a demotion and getting put under the command of a rookie. It took us a while to move past that. At this point, I think we're both just waiting for the other one to take that step first." In more ways than one, I think, she added silently.

"With all due respect, sir--Vesiya, you have to be the two most stubborn people I have ever met." It was impossible to tell if Dorne meant that as a compliment or an insult. Maybe both.

Ves took it as a compliment anyway and grinned, wide and proud. "I know. It must really suck to be our enemy." She laced her arm with Elara's and got them moving again before they got swept up in the crowd. "Come on. I thought we were supposed to be having a girls’ day out. Bonding time. There’s this great little noodle place around the corner here, we should stop in once we’re done shopping."

-------

Vesiya stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn't quite sure what she thought of the woman that stared back.

She wore her hair loose for what must be the first time in years, falling in dark red waves past her shoulders. The sleek, pale orange dress she wore complimented her dark green skin, and it was sleeveless and backless, emphasizing the toned muscles of her arms and shoulders. She felt naked without her assault cannon, but she doubted they'd let her waltz into the party with it; maybe she could say it was her plus one.

She looked great. She also looked like a completely different person. She just wished she knew if she wanted to; maybe that was the point.

She sighed and let it go, leaving her quarters to find the others.

“You ready to go?” Ves asked as she stepped into the bunk room. Elara was nowhere to be seen, but across the room, Jorgan was engaged in a battle against his bowtie, and it seemed to be winning.

She took the opportunity quickly look him over.

Some men carried a tux better than others, just like some carried a full suit of armor better. Aric Jorgan, it seemed, could look effortlessly good in both. It was a simple tux, classic black and perfectly tailored, drawing attention to his broad shoulders. His tie, like Ves’s dress and the detailing on Elara’s, was Havoc orange - they may be mingling in high society, but none of them would let anyone forget who they were. It looked very good against his tawny fur.

She shook herself before she got caught staring. “Problems, Lieutenant?”

"I’d like to meet the person who invented these," Jorgan said, not bothering to conceal his annoyance. Not that he ever did. "I have a few choice words for them."

He looked up at her, and the half-tied tie unraveled as soon as his attention drifted from it. He didn't seem to notice. He glanced over her like she'd just done to him; it took him quite a while before he made it back up to her face, but there was clear appreciation in his eyes that made her feel warm everywhere his gaze touched.

He lingered for a long time at her throat, where she wore the necklace he'd given her, the gift to congratulate her on her promotion to Captain. He looked shocked to see it there. Did he not expect her to wear it? Or was he just surprised she was doing so in public?

"Here, let me." Ves said, when it was clear he wasn't going to be the one to break the silence. She took pity on him, taking the poor tie from his hands before he mangled it further. "Look up."

“I hate these parties,” Jorgan grumbled, but he did as she ordered. “I still don't see what good it does anyone to force us all into a room to make small talk for four hours.”

"It's good publicity. Forces the higher-ups to remember that we're people, not just cannon-fodder." Maybe if she said it enough, she'd start to believe it. "And hey, worst case scenario, we piss them off enough that they send us back to war just to get rid of us."

Jorgan scoffed. "Politics." He tried to look down at what she was doing, but she tilted his head back up out of her way with a finger under his chin. "Where did you learn to tie a bowtie?"

"My dad used to go to the Officer's Ball every year until he retired. I always helped him with his, for as long as I can remember. Even went as his date a few times." She remembered how proud she was, walking into the hall on her dad's arm in a dress made entirely of ruffles. "It was a lot more exciting when I was eleven."

"Well, aren't you just full of surprises," Jorgan murmured.

“You have no idea. There.” He tilted his head back down, watching her as she finished straightening his tie. She fixed his collar, trying to ignore the way her fingertips brushed the back of his neck as she did, then smoothed out his jacket. “You clean up nice, Jorgan.” It was an understatement, but she didn't say it.

“Thanks.” He looked like he was going to say more, but he didn't.

Ves hesitated, reluctant to step away from him. She met Jorgan's firm, serious gaze, close enough that she could see the flecks of gold in his green eyes. She could feel the warmth radiating off of him, the calming, steady beat of his heart under her palm, smell the subtle cologne he was wearing. 

One of his hands settled on her arm, just above her elbow. Her fingers tightened slightly on the lapels of his jacket. His eyes never wavered from hers. She'd much rather stay right here than go to the ball. What would he say if she told him that?

Ves took a step back, trying not to let her reluctance show. “We should get going.”

"I'll go tell Dorne we're ready to go," Jorgan said after a brief moment of hesitation. He waited until she nodded before turning to leave, only to turn back after three steps. "Hey, Hallis. You look good."

"Thanks." He only made it another step before she called out to him. "Hey, Jorgan? Save me a dance?"

"Count on it." He nodded and left without another word.

-------

The Officer’s Ball was every bit as elegant and extravagant as one would expect from a party for the Republic's elite. Everything was draped in gold and blue, with warm, faux-natural lighting and bouquets of fresh flowers in the center of every table. The tables were set up around the edges of the room, some with chairs and some tall, made for standing at while drinking and making conversation. Serving droids mingled near the walls, holding trays of drinks and hors d'oeuvres and desserts. The center of the floor was left open, for dancing or mingling; there were several couples already sweeping across the dance floor. On the opposite side of the room from the door, a small stage was set up with a band playing something gentle enough that it wouldn’t distract from conversation.

Havoc Squad walked into the hall and every eye in the place turned to watch them. They must have been quite a sight, Jorgan standing tall and confident, expression completely stoic, with a beautiful, powerful woman on each arm.

"Not sure why they’re staring," Ves said quietly as eyes continued to follow them as they found their way through the crowds near the door. She tried to avoid looking at any of them, preferring to keep her attention on her squadmates. "I thought that was a pretty subtle entrance by our standards."

"We’ve had subtler, sir," Elara said in the same hushed tone. She was stunning in a bold red dress with pale orange embroidery at the neck, hem, and wrists. More than one person watched her appreciatively as she walked past, but she didn't so much as glance their way.

"Had louder, too," Jorgan muttered. Several people looked his way, too, but he stared them down until they looked away again. "Maybe we should have brought Fourex. Or Vik. That would have gone over well."

Technically, the invitation had been for all of Havoc Squad (minus Fourex, since he was a droid), but after weighing her options, she'd decided she'd get in more trouble bringing Vik than she would leaving him behind. It had been very easy to convince him to stay home; she'd simply told him it was an order to go with them and he was suddenly and conspicuously absent.

Ves had to cover her mouth to quiet her laughter. "Oh, they’d have kicked us out immediately."

"Probably. Might’ve been worth it."

“It would have absolutely been worth it.”

“Perhaps we should keep that strategy in mind next time we’re invited to one of these,” Elara added dryly. She pulled them toward an empty table, one of the tall standing ones close to the dance floor. It was a good vantage point, close enough to the crowds that they could claim they were being sociable but far enough away that they were really only keeping each others’ company.

A droid approached them immediately with drinks. Ves grabbed a tumbler of what turned out to be Alderaanian brandy; the bottle of it probably cost more than her starship did. "Not bad," she said because she knew it would piss off at least one eavesdropper. "Not my favorite, but not bad."

"What do you prefer, then?" Jorgan asked. He'd somehow managed to snag an actual bottle of beer. Ves was extremely jealous.

“Corellian whiskey. Or beer.” She shrugged. “I'm a pretty simple girl.”

“Good to know.”

She smirked slyly, raising an eyebrow at him. “Why? You planning on buying me a drink?”

Jorgan smirked too, but attempted to hide it by taking a sip from his beer. “Well, I would, but I think all the drinks are free.”

It didn’t escape Vesiya’s notice that for the rest of the night, whenever her drink was empty, a bottle of beer would find its way to the table in front of her. Jorgan never said anything about it, so neither did she.

A lot of people stopped by their table to talk to them, mostly generals and admirals that recognized them or senators that they’d worked with in the past, but also some new faces who just wanted a chance to speak with Havoc Squad. Ves did most of the talking. She didn’t like the way people kept side-eyeing Elara as soon as they heard her accent, and of her and Jorgan, she was the more sociable - if only slightly.

Quite a few people approached the three of them with offers to dance. They refused most of them, though after a few glasses of wine, Elara started to relax a little and allowed a few clearly besotted young senators to pull her out onto the dance floor. Ves begrudgingly accepted an equally begrudging offer from Senator Krasul; it was the longest and most painful five minutes of her life, and her life these days mostly involved being actively shot at.

Jorgan wasn't there when she got back to their table, but Elara was.

“Lieutenant Jorgan went to get us some more drinks, I believe,” she said in response to Vesiya's unspoken question. “Looks like you and Senator Krasul were enjoying yourselves.”

“Oh yeah. We're best friends now,” Ves deadpanned. She leaned her elbows on the table; it dipped a little under her weight. “How long do you think we have to stay before it counts as 'making an appearance'?”

“We've barely been here an hour, sir,” Elara pointed out, but she didn’t hide her amusement. “I was under the impression that you liked dancing.”

“I do. In normal circumstances.”

Elara smiled slightly. “I don't think any of us know what 'normal circumstances' look like anymore.”

“You're probably right.” Ves's eyes wandered over the crowd. There really were a remarkable amount of familiar faces, only a few of which were people she knew through her family. Most of them she'd met on Havoc business.

Maybe Havoc Squad belonged here more than they thought they did.

She spotted Jorgan on the other side of the room. He'd been roped into a conversation that he looked to be having trouble escaping. His expression said he'd already run out of patience but was too smart to say so, so he was stuck there holding two bottles of beer and a glass of wine and nodding at whatever was being said to him. Ves wondered how long he'd been there, and if he needed rescuing. 

"I've heard rumors that very powerful Force sensitives have the ability to hear a person's thoughts as easily as if they were spoken aloud," Elara said suddenly, in a suspiciously casual tone.

Vesiya sighed, bracing herself. "Why are you telling me this, Elara?"

"As far as I am aware, Lieutenant Jorgan possesses little to no Force sensitivity." She nudged Ves a step forward, away from the table, and added slyly, "Which means, Captain, if you wish to dance with him, you are going to have to actually ask."

Ves struggled to find a way to reply to that, but Elara just nudged her again, so she just sucked it up, straightened her spine, and walked across the room toward her XO.

She stepped up next to Jorgan and wrapped a hand around his bicep in a silent gesture of solidarity. He glanced her way and there was visible relief on his face at the sight of her. She smiled at him, but her smile fell away immediately when the person he’d been talking to turned to face her.

She was a short, middle-aged Mirialan woman with bright green eyes and graying dark red hair, her face covered in tattoos celebrating a life full of accomplishments. Her smile brightened and sharpened when she turned to Ves, offering a hand that she had no choice but to shake. “You must be Captain Hallis. Your Lieutenant was just telling me about you. He speaks very highly of you.”

“Does he.” Ves looked back at Jorgan, one eyebrow raised. He just stared back, neither confirming or denying.

“Don’t worry, Lieutenant. She speaks very highly of you too.” The senator said, patting his arm in a motherly fashion before turning her attention back to Ves. “It sounds like you and your squad are very busy defending the Republic, Captain.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Too busy to call your mother and tell her you’d been promoted?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Vesiya…” Senator Uheza Hallis had a way of saying her name that always made Vesiya feel like she was six years old again.

“It’s a very recent development, and I haven’t had access to a secure channel,” Ves said contritely. “I was going to call you tomorrow. Really.”

“Hmm. I’ll be expecting that call first thing, then. Your father will be happy to hear from you.” Her stern expression fell away, revealing a grin that that left no question that she and Ves were related. “I’ve taken enough of your time. Go enjoy the party. Nice to finally meet you, Lieutenant Jorgan.” She plucked the drinks from his hands and walked away toward their table and Elara.

“Ma’am.” Jorgan nodded respectfully. They watched Uheza walk away in silence, then he started walking in the opposite direction, taking the scenic route back to the table. “So your mom’s a senator.”

“I’m afraid so.” Ves kept her hand tucked in the crook of his elbow, keeping apace with him as they walked around the edges of the dance floor.

“That explains why she asked so many questions about you specifically.” He was much more amused by the situation than he should have had any right to be.

She fought the desire to cover her face with her hands. “Should I be concerned about what you said about me?”

“Never,” Jorgan said immediately, utterly sincere. A hint of amusement returned to his voice when he added, “If I were you, I’d be more concerned with what I didn’t tell her.”

“Do you want to dance?” Ves blurted out. They were getting too close to the end of their detour, their table within sight. She didn’t want to miss her chance.

“I thought you’d never ask, sir.”

He diverted their course, leading her toward a less crowded part of the dance floor. He took her hand and led her into a sudden spin, her hair and dress flaring dramatically around her, before he pulled her close, one hand holding hers and the other on her waist.

She tipped her head back and laughed, loud and delighted. “Well, aren’t you full of surprises.”

“You have no idea.”

They danced in companionable silence for a while, trying to keep to themselves and away from the rest of the crowd. Anytime anyone came close, Jorgan’s eyes darted their way as if assessing if they were a threat. Ves tried not to find it endearing.

She slid her hand further up his shoulder, pulling him a bit closer, bringing his attention back to her. “You’re a much better dance partner than Krasul was. Even if you keep looking around like you’re expecting us to be attacked.”

“Might liven the place up a little,” he said sourly, but his eyes finally found their way back to hers.

“Not your scene, Jorgan?”

“You could say that.” His eyes danced over her face, studying her, looking for something. Whatever it was, he must have found it, because he added in a lower, warmer tone, “This part’s not bad.”

A slow smile spread across her face, and Jorgan followed its journey with rapt interest. “Not bad, huh? Considering how much you didn’t want to be here, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.” He leaned closer to murmur in her ear, voice such a low rumble she felt it more than heard it. “Every man in this room wishes he was me right now. Dancing with the most beautiful woman at the ball.” His cheek pressed to hers, soft fur brushing her bare skin and that was a tactile memory that would be haunting her dreams now. So was the way his hand slid from her waist to her bare back, fingertips grazing her skin.

Ves had no idea how to respond. Normally, she’d just blow off a comment like that, roll her eyes and change the subject, but normally a comment like that wouldn’t leave her feeling like she had a flock of thrantas in her stomach. It felt different, coming from Jorgan.

She pulled back enough to meet his eyes again. There was a challenge in them, daring her to reply. They’d given up all pretense of dancing. They just stood there on the edge of the dance floor, eyes locked, and the rest of the room fell away. There was no telling how much time passed while they waited for Ves to find her voice again.

“Aric…”

She was interrupted by the sound of blaster fire.

They moved apart in synch, automatically reaching for their guns before remembering they weren’t carrying them. Ves’s cannon and Jorgan’s sniper rifle were safe and useless in the armory on their ship. Thinking quickly, Jorgan grabbed her arm and pulled her back toward a nearby pillar, at least getting them out of line of sight of the door.

Ves pressed her back to the pillar and peeked around the edge of it. Four people in mismatched armor were waving blaster rifles and pistols at the terrified crowd, and more were coming in behind them. She scanned quickly for Elara, but couldn’t see her from here.

A very tall man in dented gray armor stepped forward and called out, voice echoing through the suddenly silent hall. “Everyone remain calm! This is a robbery! As long as everyone behaves, there’s no reason for anyone to get hurt.”

Vesiya glanced over at Jorgan. “You just had to say something, didn’t you?”

He pulled a blaster out of an inner pocket of his jacket. “Sorry, sir. I forgot how much the universe likes irony.”

She shook her head, but couldn’t help but smirk as she pulled her own holdout blaster from where she’d strapped it to her thigh. She glanced around the corner again; the leader was still talking, the rest of them fanning out behind him. “You got any ideas?”

He leaned around the other side of the pillar for a moment, then came back. “I count six at the door and two in the crowd, but they must have more stationed outside. There’s no way they got past security with only eight people.”

“We could have. We could’ve done it with three.”

He smirked, but otherwise didn’t comment. “We’ll have to assume it’s just the two of us. We’ve got no idea where Dorne is and no way to contact her, and we can’t assume anyone else here will be any help.”

Ves didn't feel quite so pessimistic about the situation. There was no way that, in a room full of the Republic's finest, they were the only ones who thought to bring concealed weapons. She didn't say it out loud, though; he'd know what she was thinking. "Two versus eight is still good odds. I’m more worried about civilians caught in the crossfire."

“How’s your night vision, sir?”

"Not as good as yours, I bet, but better than a human’s." She saw where he was going with this. All but one of the attackers were human. She scanned the walls of the room quickly. There had to be a door to the kitchen or a security room or something. "There. Northeast corner."

“On it.”

Jorgan left without another word, moving silently toward the door, staying in cover as much as he could. Ves kept an eye on the enemy, making sure no one spotted him, but he made it to the door unnoticed. He nodded at her, then disappeared through it.

She turned back to the would-be thieves. The leader had stopped talking and was making his way through the crowd, taking jewelry and anything else he dubbed interesting from them. Ves aimed her blaster at a lamp just past the leader’s head; it exploded in a shower of sparks. Several partygoers screamed and backed away. Not quite enough to get a clear shot on anyone, but it was a start.

“Go see what that was.” The boss pointed at one of his henchmen and then in Ves’s vague direction. They hadn’t seen exactly where she was, then. Good.

She picked up a nearby empty plate and tossed it. It clattered to the floor near an adjacent pillar, and the henchman predictably followed the noise. He walked right past her, facing away from her to where he thought the threat was, blaster rifle pointed at empty air. She brought the butt of her blaster down on the back of his head, knocking him out cold.

She took his rifle and checked the cell. It was mostly full. This night just kept getting better and better.

Something touched her shoulder and she turned, blaster raised. Two figures stood there, pressed to the wall, half hidden behind a large sculpture. One was Elara, holding what appeared to be a vibroknife. The other stared at Ves from behind the business end of her new rifle, hands raised in surrender, and he was so unexpected it took several long seconds to recognize him.

“Jonas?”

“Captain! Fancy meeting you here.” Jonas Balkar looked her over and grinned charmingly like she didn’t currently have a blaster pointed at his face. “You look radiant, Ves.”

She rolled her eyes, but she lowered her rifle. “Now’s not the time.”

“You let me know when it is.” He glanced around quickly. She knew what he was looking for even before he asked, “Where’s Jorgan? Elara said he was with you.”

As if on cue, the lights all went out.

“I expect he’ll be back in a minute,” Ves said smugly.

“Good idea.” Her dark vision was good enough that she could see the way Jonas crossed his arms, not pouting but close. “Except now I can’t see anything.”

“Emergency generators will be online in less than two minutes, sir,” Elara said. She wouldn’t be able to see anything either, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. “I assume you have a plan.”

“You assume correctly.” She grabbed them both by the arm and dragged them closer, dropping her voice to a loud whisper. “I need the two of you to get as many civilians out of harm’s way as possible. There’s no way the eight we saw in the building are the only ones in this group, and if this turns into a real fight, I don’t want anyone getting hurt besides the people we want to get hurt.” She pressed her holdout blaster into Balkar’s hand. “Find my mother. She’s in the crowd somewhere, she’ll be able to help you.”

He looked down at the blaster, though with the lights out there’s no way he could see it. “How am I supposed to know which one’s your mother?”

“She looks like me except six inches shorter and twenty-five years older. Look for a Mirialan woman barking orders and chances are good it’s her.”

It was too dark to see the smirk on Balkar’s face, but she heard it in his voice. “So you get your charm from her as well as your looks. Good to know.”

“Jonas.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll behave. For now.” He leaned in to murmur in her ear, almost exactly the same way Jorgan had done only a few minutes ago. “You know, one of these days, we’re going to bump into each other when we’re not in the middle of some life or death situation. And when that day comes, I’m going to finally buy you that drink.”

“We’ll see,” Ves said vaguely. There were no thrantas in her stomach when he touched her, just the scent of his cologne and the sensation of someone standing much too close. She wished she knew how to just tell him that. She pulled away, putting a more comfortable distance between them again. “Let’s deal with the life or death situation first, shall we?”

She felt a presence at her shoulder and didn't need to look to know it was Jorgan. He confirmed it a moment later when he said, “Balkar? What the hell are you doing here?”

“Enjoying Coruscant's vibrant nightlife,” Jonas said easily. “I'll never turn down a chance to wear a tuxedo and eat free food.”

The emergency lights finally turned on, lighting the room in lurid red. “That's our cue. Go.”

Elara left with a simple “yes, sir,” dragging Balkar along with her.

Ves turned to Jorgan. “They're going to try and clear out noncombatants, give us a cleaner playing field. You and I get to do the fun part.” She took the pistol from his hand and gave him the rifle instead.

“Aww, thanks, boss,” he said, deadpan. “I didn't get you anything.” Despite the sarcasm, he looked more comfortable with a rifle in his hands, and they both knew he was the better shot.

She looked around her pillar again. It was hard to see much in the dull red light, but she could only see four by the door now. With one on the floor unconscious, that left at least three currently unaccounted for. It looked like they had finished their looting, there were two large sacks filled with jewelry and credits by the doors. Why hadn’t they left yet?

“Something about this doesn’t make sense,” Jorgan said by her ear. He stood behind her, peering out around the pillar as well and following where she was looking. “Some of the most decorated heroes of the Republic are here tonight. Why break into a party like this just to steal some jewelry?”

She picked up on what he wasn’t saying. “You think they’re meant to be a distraction? From what?”

“I wish I knew, sir.”

She pressed her back against the pillar once more, thinking out loud. “If they were after violence, it would have already happened. If they were just here for the money, they would have already left.” A sudden idea struck her. She put a hand on Jorgan’s arm and leaned closer, adding in a harsh whisper, “How much classified information do you think is in this room right now? How many high-profile targets walking around unarmed and unarmored?”

“Enough that the Empire would consider hiring mercenaries to collect a few of them,” he replied grimly. “Then why haven’t they?” He paused, then answered his own question. “Because they don’t know who their targets are.”

“They’re after the guest list, then. A list of names and faces of the Republic’s best and brightest.” The red lights were starting to give Ves a headache, but she pushed through it, trying to think. “What was through the door?”

“The kitchen. I didn’t find a security room. Had to slice the lights through the control panel outside.”

“Okay. I’m on it.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, steadying herself. “Remind them who they’re messing with. Make them regret crashing our party.”

“Yes, sir.” He caught her elbow before she could leave. “Be careful, Hallis.”

“You too.” She nodded, then slipped out of his grasp.

It was hard to sneak in three-inch heels, but Ves did the best she could. The sudden burst of blaster fire behind her made it a little easier. There were more shots from farther in the room. She had to hope it was Balkar’s holdout blaster backing Jorgan up. She didn’t turn around to check.

The kitchen was empty of organic life, only a few serving droids standing about looking nervous. One of them called out to her as she passed through, but made no move to stop her. “I am sorry, ma’am, but only authorized personnel are allowed past the kitchens.”

“I understand that. I’m Captain Vesiya Hallis, Havoc Squad. If there’s a problem, take it up with my commanding officer.” She didn’t wait for him to answer, just kept going.

The hallways past the kitchen were empty and identical. She followed until she came to a fork, and with no indicators on where they led, she followed her instincts and turned right. It kept going for what felt like hours, only the clicking of her heels on the tile floor to keep her company, and the doubt started to creep in. She hoped things were going okay out in the main hall. She hated not being able to contact her squad. If they ever got invited to another party like this, their closed-circuit comms were not staying on the ship. Neither was her assault cannon; if she had to put it in the coat check room, so be it, but she wasn’t going anywhere without it for a while.

She turned a corner and had to dive back behind it as a blaster bolt flew past her head. So she’d been going the right way after all. She peeked slowly around the edge, keeping as much of herself behind the wall as possible. There were two people at the end of the hall and she recognized them both from the initial group.

Another volley of bolts flew past her. One caught her in the arm before she could get back behind the wall, searing a hot line across her skin. She swore and returned fire, but they both ducked back into cover again too.

Ves thought quickly. This stalemate wasn’t going to help anyone but her enemies; they were clearly guarding whoever was actually doing the work, and the longer they kept her here the more time they had to finish the job. “Elara had the right idea,” she muttered to herself as she quickly unstrapped her shoes and took them off. “I should’ve brought a knife.”

She ducked low and sprinted around the corner, bolts flying over her head. She hit the first guy low, shoving him against the wall with her shoulder in his gut, and turned to throw her shoes in the face of the second guy, throwing off his aim. Two bolts to the chest took care of him, and a solid left hook to the jaw took care of the first guy, though it shot pain down her injured arm.

She took their weapons, putting the new pistol in the holster on her thigh and throwing the rifle strap over her shoulder, keeping the pistol she’d borrowed from Jorgan in her hand. Then she continued on to the door just past them that she assumed led to the security room.

Inside the room were four dead security guards and the man who’d been leading the assault on the main hall. He was tall and broad, with meticulously groom black hair, and he hadn’t shaved for long enough that it was on the cusp of becoming a beard but wasn’t quite there yet. He reached for his blaster, but he was too slow. Ves pointed both Jorgan’s pistol and her stolen rifle at him, and he raised his hands in surrender.

“You picked the wrong party to crash, pal.”

“So I see,” he said, and he had an Imperial accent he hadn’t had at the door. “And you are?”

She just bared her teeth at him. “What are you after?”

He smiled, seemingly unthreatened by her or her arsenal, and didn’t reply.

She put the barrel of her blaster pistol against his forehead. She asked again, voice pitched low and dangerous, “What. Are. You. After?”

“Pull the trigger, soldier. You’ll get more answers from my corpse.”

Ves swung the butt of her blaster down at his face, but he was heartier than his henchmen and remained conscious. She took a bit of dark satisfaction at the crack of cartilage as his nose broke, but didn’t have the chance to enjoy it as he roared and lunged at her, shoving her against the wall.

He slammed her wrist against the duracrete wall and her blaster fell from her numb fingers to clatter to the floor. One large hand wrapped around her throat, hard enough that she worried he’d crush her trachea long before she had to worry about running out of air. She clawed at his arm, but all he did was tighten his grip, enough that she started to see stars.

She brought her knee up into his solar plexus, then jabbed her fingers into his armpit where she knew his armor wouldn’t protect him. He grunted and loosened his hand just enough that she stopped seeing static at the edges of her vision. She took the opportunity to grab one of his fingers and twist it back until it popped. He screamed and dropped her.

She stepped around him and threw herself at his back as hard as she could, pushing him into the wall. His head hit the duracrete and this time he finally passed out.

Ves took a few deep breaths. They burned on the way down. She was going to have a hideous bruise around her throat tomorrow.

She searched the security guards and luckily one of them had a set of restraints on him. Another one had a keycard. She put the restraints on her new mysterious Imperial friend and threw him in the corner. If he woke up before she got back, at least he wasn’t going anywhere. Just to be sure, she locked the door behind her. She slipped the keycard into her bra, the only place she had to put it, then picked up her blaster again and continued down the hall.

Just before the third corner, she heard rapid footsteps headed her way, too fast for her to get into cover. She raised her rifle and rounded the corner to face them head-on. She came face to barrel with a blaster aimed right between her eyes.

“Hallis.” The blaster disappeared immediately, revealing her XO. He looked as relieved to see her as she felt to see him.

“Jorgan.” She could have hugged him right then if she’d had the energy. As it was, she just sagged against the wall, letting it hold her up so she didn’t have to. “Nice of you to join me.”

“Sorry I’m late.” He noticed the wound on her arm and gave her a quick once-over, looking for more injuries. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine. You should see the other guy.” She gestured vaguely back toward the security room. “Got him tied up and unconscious. Maybe someone else can get more out of him than I did.”

“You leave that to me.” Uheza stepped out from behind Jorgan, a rifle in hand and an expression of cold, silent fury on her face. “Agent Balkar, come with me, please.”

Ves gave them the keycard so they could get into the security room, ignoring the looks both Jonas and Jorgan gave her when she pulled it out. Her mother just nodded and left.

Once they were gone, her head fell back against the wall and she closed her eyes. With the fighting over, the adrenaline was fading, and in its place came the pain and exhaustion. “You think the bar’s still open? I could really use a drink.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Jorgan said softly. His fingers grazed her throat, an unexpected, feather-light caress, tracing the bruises that had already started to bloom there. Her eyes shot open again. “A few of the officers jumped in to help as soon as they saw us start to fight back. Dorne’s patching up some that got injured in the fighting, but I can go get her.”

She covered his hand with hers and pushed him gently away. “I’ll be okay. I can wait until we get back to the ship. I’m just tired.”

“I can see that.” He didn’t look like he believed her in the slightest. “At least let me take care of the one on your arm. Sir.”

That was a fair concession. Ves nodded, and he took off his bowtie to wrap it around the bolt wound on her bicep that was still lazily seeping blood. She chuckled. “After all that work I went through getting you in that in the first place. Seems like a waste of a good tie.”

“I’ll get a new one.” He glanced at her face for just a moment before his attention turned back to her injury. “Did you lose your shoes? I remember you being taller.”

“I think I threw them at someone. They’re down the hall, somewhere.” She tried to wave in that direction, but Jorgan tightened his grip on her arm to finish bandaging it. She watched him as he worked, his face serious, a knot in his brow that said he was still concerned about her even if he didn’t say it. The temptation to reach over and smooth away that worry was almost overwhelming; she kept talking in an effort to keep it at bay. “Sorry we didn’t get to finish our dance.”

“I guess you’ll just have to owe me one.” He took off his tux jacket and draped it over her shoulders. With the collar up, it hid the worst of the bruise on her neck.

Ves pulled it tighter around herself and gave him a tired smirk. “Are you going to keep giving me pieces of your suit if I find more imps to fight? Because that’s the kind of incentive program I can get behind.”

“Sorry, Hallis, not on the first date. I’m not that kind of guy.” If this counted as a date, Ves was pretty sure it wasn’t their first. She could think of at least one shoot-out in a cantina that should count, too. Jorgan’s smirk told her he was thinking the same thing. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

The rest of the evening went by in a blur. Several people approached Ves, as well as Jorgan and Elara who stayed at her sides like an honor guard, to thank them for their intervention. The Coruscant Security Force showed up before long and started asking questions. Ves answered the questions to the best of her ability, but after the third officer came around asking the exact same things the previous two had, she started to get a little short in her replies.

“That’s enough,” a stern, commanding voice cut in when the fourth SecForce officer started her round of questioning. Uheza stepped in between the officer and her daughter. “The captain has answered enough questions tonight. Havoc Squad are heroes. They’ve saved a lot of lives tonight and have earned some rest.”

The officer looked like she wanted to argue, but was smart enough not to mouth off to a senator. She walked away with one last disgruntled glance toward the three of them.

Uheza then turned to face them. “Is this what it’s always like for you?”

“I’m afraid so, ma’am,” Jorgan answered so Ves didn’t have to. “This was supposed to be our night off.”

“No wonder your squad has the reputation it does,” she said proudly. “I’ll see to it you’re all rewarded for what you’ve done here tonight.”

“That will not be necessary, Senator Hallis.” This time it was Elara who spoke up. She still managed to look flawless and elegant even after the night they’d had. “We simply did what anyone else would have done in our position.”

“Be that as it may, Sergeant Dorne,” Uheza said patiently, “you at least deserve some recognition. If not from Command or the Senate as a whole, then from me and the others you saved.” She turned her attention once more to her daughter. “Your Agent Balkar has taken the leader into custody--”

“Jonas isn’t one of mine,” Ves interrupted, almost automatically.

Uheza gave her a pointed look, but kept talking like she hadn’t said anything. “--and I expect he’ll have some answers for us in the morning about the reason behind this attack. I’ll contact you as soon as I hear something.”

Ves nodded. “We’re docked in the spaceport. You can stop by if you want, I’ll give you the tour.”

“I’d like that.” She gave Ves a gentle hug and whispered fiercely, “I’m proud of you, firecracker.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Uheza pulled away, expression firm and commanding once more. “Lieutenant Jorgan, Sergeant Dorne, please get my daughter home before she keels over. I think she’s seen enough action for one day. There’s a speeder waiting for you outside that will take you back to your ship.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

-------

Surprisingly, Tanno Vik was waiting for them when they got back, sitting at their small table and cleaning his blaster. He looked Ves over, taking in her lack of shoes, her injuries, and her new arsenal. “Fun party?”

“Unlimited free drinks and an attack by Imperial mercenaries,” she said as blandly as possible, like they were discussing the weather.

He chuckled. “That’ll teach me not to stay home next time.”

Elara made Ves sit down so she could properly treat her wounds. She couldn’t do much for the bruise, which looked almost black in the harsh lighting of the medbay, but she put a proper kolto patch on the shot on her arm, and wrapped her wrist as well, which turned out to be fractured. Ves hadn’t even noticed with everything else that had happened.

Elara gave Jorgan a cursory inspection as well, but scans didn’t find any injuries on him, so she just told them to get some rest and left to do the same.

That sounded like a good idea. It had been a long night. Ves had no idea how late it even was.

“Well, that certainly wasn’t the way I expected the night to go,” Jorgan said, leaning casually against the doorway to her quarters.

She smiled at him and imitated his posture, leaning next to him. “Admit it, Jorgan. You had fun.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be.”

“Good, because after what happened you know they're going to invite us back next year.”

“I can live with that,” he said seriously.

“Really?” She hadn’t expected him to say that, though thinking about it she guessed she shouldn’t really be surprised. Though he’d never admit it, Jorgan liked to play the hero. “What changed?”

He smirked. “I suppose there's worse ways to spend an evening than drinking free beer, dancing with pretty girls, and thwarting an Imperial assault,” he said slyly.

“Oh, I get second place, do I?” Ves asked playfully, leaning a little closer. “Aren't you a sweet-talker.”

“It's hard to beat an open bar on the Senate's dime. You came close.”

“I'll have to try harder next time.”

“I look forward to it.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. He looked away, breaking their stare, and the charge in the air around them broke too. “We should get some sleep.”

“Probably. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.” She took a reluctant step back, pulling herself out of his orbit. “Good night, Jorgan.”

“Good night, Hallis.”

Ves watched him walk away, smiling to herself, until he disappeared into the crew quarters. Only then did she turn and head into her own room. She barely got out of the dress before she threw herself into bed. She was out almost immediately.

#swtor fic #vesiya hallis #ves/jorgan #this is so many words #how did I write so many words? #ves and jorgan are so fun to write y'all #they haven't even kissed yet and I am Invested #you'll be seeing a lot more of these two in the future #I struggled a lot to write the scene with them dancing and then ended up cutting out most of the dancing #because it detracted from the scene too much #okay now that that's done I'm gonna go back to playing the game and see if I can get ves the smooch she wants :3

[wrenbee]

quarantine q&a

thanks for the tag @galadrieljones!!! I’m dying for a lil socializing.

Are you staying home from work or school?

Yes. Louisiana is currently under a stay at home order and I’m lucky enough to be able to work from home for an industry that is considered “essential”. I happen to love my boss and coworkers and I’m actually missing them a lot.

If you’re staying home, who’s with you?

My brother. Though he is still working some, so I’m alone with the cats most of the day.

Are you a homebody?

Yep. I can handle being at home for a while.

An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled.

Same with the Tyler Childers show. Was very much looking forward to the show and trip to Austin. Will just have to listen to nothing by Tyler and sturgill on Saturday lol. I also had a tattoo appt that got postponed. My sister and I were getting matching floral pieces and she gets to have hers waaaay before me :/

What movies have you watched recently? What shows are you watching?

I haven’t watched any movies. But Ive started back up on my Buffy the Vampire Slayer watch. I just finished season 6, and all I can say is: what the actual fuck was that season?!

What music are you listening to?

LOL oh boy. So I’ve been really into Post Malone lately?? Don’t ask me how! It’s very unlike me to like that type of music but y’all I CANT STOP LISTENING TO IT. I’ve got like 10 different songs stuck in my head as i type this 😭 ALSO, I was doing CrossFit w my coworkers before all this and I’ve been keeping up at home and substituting their amazing energy with this playlist. It gives me some confidence to keep pushing when I don’t have them to cheer me on. Also, this playlist when I need ambient focus music to fill void of a too quiet house.

What are you doing for self care?

CrossFit workout/stationary bike around lunchtime everyday. Little walks down my driveway and around the yard. My chamomile and blackberries are coming in and it makes me happy. Dabbling in Animal Crossing. Slowly chipping away at Tevinter Nights. I’ve been watching this ridiculous Unus Annus channel on youtube lol I’ve also been doodling in weird bursts. I’ll probably dive into the sketches I have this weekend, I’m craving elf cuddles SO BAD 🥺

I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy ❤️

Tagging: @ladylike-foxes @thevikingwoman @bearly-tolerable @joufancyhuh if you feel like!

[untanglingmythoughts-blog]

September 6, 2020

2:50 AM

Hi!

I remember the last time I wrote a tumblr post, I was in college, heartbroken and lost. Now, still in college, but way way waaaay older and yet again I’m heartbroken and lost.

I have always found putting my thoughts into words as therapeutic, I guess I just have a lot to say and no one to tell it to, so I resort to tumblr. Here I can say whatever the fuck I want and stay anonymous, I don’t think anyone would read my stuff tho like ever. I just gotta let a lot of shit out.

This is my first post in a long time so forgive me if my thoughts are over the place and I’m kinda just rambling here and not really making any sense. Hey, it’s been a rough couple of YEARS, cut me some slack.

Right now tho, I just wanna talk to myself through writing, am I making sense here? Probably not but that’s the beauty of the internet, no one really cares. Your breakdown is somebody else’s entertainment and if you’re here for it, buckle up cause beginning today, I’m sure as hell gonna write about every single, embarrassing, self depreciating, dignity stripping breakdown I’m about to have. SHAMELESS.

Okay, so. Right now, it’s exactly 3 am so it’s about time to stop with my intro and tell you about why I decided to open up my millionth tumblr account.

Well, I just felt like it. I’m lonely and alone and have no one to talk to and surprise surprise, I also have trouble sleeping. My life has been pretty shit lately, pre-pandemic and even worse now. So we’re just gonna dive right into it.

A couple of months ago, I met this guy, let’s call him Pumpkin. You know, those stories about a girl finding her one great adventure, her once in a lifetime trip to the unknown, her own personal highway to hell??? Well, I found mine in Pumpkin. What can I say, he’s one hell of a ride and an expensive man to get over with. He’s the guy you carry with you for a lifetime, the one you tell your grandchildren about, the one that made you smile for a while but wrecked you into a gazillion pieces, the one that made you feel alive but left you for dead in the end, the one that gave color into your life but stripped it away, the one that made you feel human but took your soul with him when he left. That’s Pumpkin.

This is just the beginning, I have this pretty accurate prediction that my next posts would certainly be about this man, and you’re gonna read A LOT about him because fuck I just have to let this man go. And since I can’t tell anyone in my real life about him, might as well write everything down here right? 

That’s all you get for now. 

I kinda miss him but I never wanna go back. It’s like, I already braved this carnival ride I’ve been too scared to try just to find out that I’ll be fine, I can make it out alive but I’m never ever gonna give it a go again. I finished the ride, I made it out, my feet landed on the ground but I’m not the same person I was before I rode it.

I’m alive. But things just aren’t the same anymore.

The colors feel like they’re not there, and everything’s dark and dull and life’s sparkle just isn’t there anymore.

Roads and places seem harder to pass through and what used to be excitement, is now replaced by mere memories of you and I just can’t deal with them anymore.

Music certainly sounds so much different, the anthems we cared for and cherished, the songs we made our own and played together when the moment was ours and no one else’s became songs you just can’t listen to anymore.

Everything that has you in it, just isn’t the same anymore.

Everything that has you in it, I don’t want them anymore.

I’m alive. But it isn’t me anymore.

- Ming.

[asiryn]

this post is going to be very rambly, so i apologize in advance. if you’re potentially interested in my liveblogs, and/or interested in hearing a bit about my current life and disability issues, tune in. if you aren’t, then....keep scrolling i guess XD

(if you just want the current liveblog schedule, scroll to the bottom)

[and this got predictably very long, so i’m gonna put it behind a cut for convenience] 

up to recently, my main liveblogs have been about the pokemon anime, with a few other shows, books, and especially video games sprinkled in here and there. essentially, waaaay back in yonder year of 2014, netflix added the first season of pokemon, the indigo league, to their site, and i, in a fit of nostalgia, made the veeery questionable decision to watch all of the pokemon anime---rewatching the stuff i hadn’t touched since i was kid, and then continuing on into the unknown, and watching all the seasons from gen 3 onward that i had missed due to dropping out of pokemon. i only really started actually making liveblog posts once i hit gen 3, then i stayed consistent-ish from then onward. (for the curious, i’m up to sun & moon, and i have 44 episodes left until i finish it (i’m not ready ;;;; ), and then netflix actually just dropped the first 12 episodes of the newest series, pokemon journeys, so....56 until i’ve caught up with the dub XD)

so, all of y’all who climbed aboard with those liveblogs are probably already aware of Who I Am, at least a little. (....this is making it sound like i’m Some Big Name in liveblogging, but i’m not really anything of the sort, just so we’re all on the same page XD) at least, in terms of the fact that i’m physically disabled, suffer from chronic pain, etc. but recently, i’ve joined two new fandoms, and i’ve begun liveblogging spop and my next life as a villainess. and my spop posts in particular are already becoming some of the most popular posts i’ve ever done (like wow, you guys). and i think part of that popularity is due to the fact that these are two pretty recent, pretty popular fandoms (tho i do also like to think that i do make good content XP). but the point is that quite a lot of new ppl are coming across me, and idk how much, if any, of you have taken the time to look at my bio or anything. so i guess....part of this post is just some ruminations, but also my way of letting you know more of what you’re getting into. 

so, for those who don’t know: hi, you can call me kiryn, i liveblog stuff sometimes, and i’m physically disabled. i suffer from intense, constant, chronic pain. it stems from a bone disease called HME, or hereditary multiple exostosis, if you’re curious (i have a severe case of it, joy of joys). the short version of what that means is that i have a lot of bone spurs everywhere on my body, and they....cause me a lot of pain. basically, i cannot do any kind of sustained activity without the already significant, never-ceasing pain that i feel cranking up to unbearable levels, and basically i’ll be rendered immobile. i do have pain meds that i take, and that very much help to take the edge off, and make it so that i can function at all (bc, believe fucking me, w/o them, i wouldn’t be able to achieve even the little i can do), but even with them, it only makes a dent in my pain levels, and again, sustained activity makes up that difference very quickly. 

now, the gist of this stuff i’ll mention from time to time, but....i don’t usually go into much detail about it (and this post is probably the most detailed i’ve been about my condition in years). bc, quite frankly, it’s depressing. (and seeing as i also already have clinical depression, that’s definitely not something that i need more of XD) i participate in fandoms for escapism, and bc i don’t really want to think about that crushing mountain of reality. i’ve had this condition since birth, and i’ve literally lived my entire life in constant pain, and i honestly have no fucking idea what it even feels like to be painless. and what’s even worse is that it’s a degenerative disease---essentially, the bone spurs are wearing down my joints, so....my entire condition will just keep worsening as i get older. (and no, surgery to remove the spurs isn’t really an option.) i’ll be 29 next month, and i can already tell you, i’ve been feeling that decline sharply. when i was a kid, i could still run. by the time i was a teenager, i couldn’t even do that anymore; the best i could manage was a jog. now....i don’t think i could even do that. 

i guess the main point in why i’m saying all this, is that for the last year especially, i’ve been dealing with the worst downward swing that i’ve had in years. in my late teens and early-mid 20s, i got into a pretty good rhythm, of knowing my body’s limits, how to budget spoons to accomplish things, etc. but now even that fragile equilibrium has been thrown out the window, and i’m currently struggling to learn the new limits and rhythm of this downward swing that is unfortunately now my reality. even before, i was pretty limited on what i could accomplish, but even that narrow window has shrunk even further. so basically, i’m in the testing zone still. and it’s a very slow process, bc once i exceed the limit, my body breaks down, and now it takes me even longer to recover. as an example, i used to know that i could wake up in the morning and get ready to leave the house in 20-30 mins. now? i need at least an hour, which involves me pushing through a wave of agony to be able to take my pain meds in the first place, and then wait for those meds to kick in and the pain to die down enough to move without feeling like i’m moving through a wall of spikes. (and that’s just the start of every day for me, and before even throwing in all of the other variables)

so, coming back to the liveblogs......obviously, that’s affected by all this too. if you’ve wondered why there’s been a gap between me finishing up spop s1 and starting s2....that’s why. partly, i didn’t expect how analysis-heavy i was going to get on spop; pokeani just doesn’t tend to be as consistently thematically deep, so those liveblogs took far less out of me than spop has, and pushing myself to finish 5 episodes in one day....well, it was too much. and the thing is, it’s obviously unhealthy for me to continually push myself to the point of total breakdown, so...that’s where learning my new limits comes in. so, these past few days, i’ve been thinking, and essentially trying to better figure out how to do liveblogs like this without pretty much killing myself in the process (bc i honestly do love making them....i mean, if i didn’t, then it really wouldn’t be worth the literal pain it takes to make them XD). and also there’s a component of managing my anxiety-brain, bc leaving things Unfinished stresses me out, and so when coming to terms with the fact that it’s going to take me awhile to finish one show....knowing that i’d be leaving others hanging....Doesn’t Help XD

so, here’s what i’ve got so far (and obvs, this is subject to much tweaking in the future XP)

currently, i’m watching 4 shows: pokeani, good omens, villainess, and spop. villainess rn is the least of my worries, bc 1 ep is coming out a week, so it’s not demanding a lot of my time. 

for the other 3, here’s the preliminary schedule i’ve sort of hashed out:

- pokeani sm103-106

- spop s2

- pokeani sm107-110

- spop s3 

- pokeani sm111-114

- spop s4

- pokeani sm115-118

- spop s5 

- pokeani sm119-122

- good omens

- pokeani sm123-126

- [catch up block] (i don’t have a good track record in keeping up with ongoing shows, so if i fall behind on villainess, this is where i can catch up)

- finish pokeani sun & moon [sm127-146] (the league starts on ep 128, so i’d rather not experience any big interruptions in the battles XD)

basically, i’ve given myself a limit of 4 pokeani eps in a single session (bc as stated, they don’t take as much out of me), and with spop, the most i’ll let myself watch in a row will be 3 eps (s2 will probably be broken up into a 3/2/2 block, s3 a 3/3 block, and s4&5 will be a 3/3/3/2/2 block).

now, keep in mind that i’m very deliberately making no guarantees about specific days, bc who even knows, but at the very least, scheduling and talking it all out like this will help me to better manage my spoons, and if you’ve actually read this far, then you’ll know the method in the madness and why i’m doing things this way. XD the vague goal is to get in a least 1 liveblog session a week (plus a bonus of the new villainess ep on saturdays)---at least for the shows. i’m still having to working out what i’m going to do about video games....maybe i should just go on a ‘once a week’ model for all my hobbies across the board XDD

in the next couple of days, i’ll be posting that in-depth look into all the ships of villainess (it started as me just pecking down a few thoughts while i was taking a social media break due to the Current Events, but now i’m at the point where i’m like, i’ve put too much effort into this to not post it, damn it XP), and then depending on spoons, i’ll try to start in on that schedule this week, so stay tuned for some pokeani! (again....i’ll try to hit at least 1 liveblog a week before i start trying to get more ambitious XDD)

in any case, if you have stuck through to the end, thank you very much. your support means a lot to me 💖

#kiryn's adventures in liveblogging #kiryn watches pokemon #kiryn watches spop #kiryn watches she ra #kiryn watches my next life as a villainess #kiryn watches good omens #life updates #disability talk #scheduling

[borhap-au]

HS!BoRhap au.

ok so

i like this concept A LOT

imagine joe, ben, gwil, rami, lucy and allen all being in the same group

joe would be like the biggest goof

always pranking others and getting into trouble

doing absolutely anything in his powers to make others laugh

great dancer

loves american sports and star wars

his biggest fear is lactose

doesn’t have a plan

but he has a yt channel

gesticulates a lot when he’s talking

recently found out perm stood for permament when he did it for a challenge 

his favourite song is somebody to love

unfortunately he would date girls who aren’t too good for him 

using him and his kind heart 

until ben came along

and he kinda taught joe how to fight for what he deserves

and now they always go speed dating together

but some people from the school would rather see them as a couple

ben is like both the cool and the insecure guy

every girl wants him, especially since he played in a school theatre

and wear a wig

but he doesn’t see himself as the godlike creature they see in him

he sees every single mistake he does

and that brings him down

but his friends won’t let him resign

he’ll follow his dreams cause he’s ready to be a star

once lied about playing drums and he had to learn it within a few weeks

loves tom hardy, that’s why his nickname in school is hardy, despite his real name being jones

dresses like a model or like a homeless person, nothing in between

he’s really good at sports

also, he has tinder

occasionally likes a girl’s picture on ig and this is the only thing the school talks about for the following week

hardz(z?)ello is SO shipped in school

joe literally got a cardboard cutout of his friend for his 18th birthday

and he loves it more than him

gwilym is like the mature, dad kind of friend

he always make sure the others will get out of their adventures alive

he is the smart guy, glasses and books in hand

good grades

one girlfriend throughout the enitre hs time

who he plans to marry

she’s one of the sweet, kind ones

and everyone in the group immediately liked her

gwil’s the golden boy, parent’s and teacher’s favourite

runs marathons for charity

also he can play guitar and often does on some trips

rami is the quiet guy in the group and the flirt outside of it

when he’s astonished by something, he’ll repeat the same information to anyone he’ll meet

trips and falls a lot

used to be a delivery guy and this is how he got into dating

looks more innocent (and younger) than he is

finishes all his arguments with “f**k society”

for a long time he’s been shipped with an exchange student from scandinavia whose name was somehow similar to tyler

definitely has a thing for blondes

he and lucy has been friends for years when they found out they both had a thing for each other

(all the others knew about it for years)

and they got together and they are like a dream couple

he loves her so so much and he isn’t afraid to show it

making all the other couples jealous

he works hard for his dreams and luc is like his biggest cheerleader

they want to move in together in college

she confused him once with sami 

and rami won’t let her forget it

lucy is the sweet and smart girl

asks on several occasions why she hangs out with those people since she’s so mature and they’re… not

but she feels comfortable around them

and they wouldn’t let her go (especially joe)

she knows the boys waaaay too well

isn’t the jealous kind

everybody knows she has a bright future ahead of her

allen is the one who’s SO funny SO effortlessly

already engaged with his sweetheart and they will get married after high school ends

he knew her since kindergarten and they dated for 5 years

she is like unofficial part of the group

liked by everyone, hangs out with luc and gwil’s girl a lot

allen has an accent that make girls’ knees weak

very generous, helpful, with a really nice smile

when he starts to laugh in class everyone follows

the headmaster is tom hollander

the one who has all the power

but he’s very kind and isn’t so uptight

he lets the boys get out of the trouble A LOT

also secretly cheers for them when they have their adventures

even bigger dad of the group than gwilym is

brian may teaches physics (duuuuh)

roger meddows taylor - biology

freddie mercury - art

john deacon - english, although his handwriting is very hard to read

mike myers - ethics, he’s everyone’s favourite, funniest teacher

aidan gillen - guidance counselor

aaron mccusker - that one sweet guy everyone has a crush on (including boys)

anytime somebody would find a homeless animal they would bring it to mr. may and he would take care of them 

in his classroom there would be a several animals, despite it having absolutely nothing to do with physics

roger would be the teacher every girl has crush on

and for one school project he dressed up as a woman

and now all boys want him too

divorced a few times, currently has a wife who could’ve been his student

john would be the one who always stays late after classes because students love talking to him

he wouldn’t ever have to speak loudly to silence the class - they just respect him enough to listen

almost all the classes he teaches has his child in it since there are so many of them (children, not classes)

freddie would teach about individualism and encourage others to searching for their true selves and be brave

his husband jim would visit him at work sometimes 

all freddie’s students know him and always say “hello mr mercury” and jim reacts with a big smile, even though that’s not his name

freddie is known for his love for cats and every time there’s an occasion, students buy him something connected to those animals

gwil, rami and joe went to japan together once

and they never run out of content reminding everyone once in a while THEY’VE BEEN TO JAPAN, posting pictures on ig

ben doesn’t talk to them for a day if they post anything connected to the trip he couldn’t been on

the group joked about how they’re going to be a rock n’ roll band - rami as a vocalist, joe on bass, ben on drums and gwilym on guitar, allen as the manager and luc as a groupie

they always help each other with homework

and usually play truant together

have the same music taste and organise parties at least once a month

they fight like a married couple (of 6 people) and never longer than two days

go on vacation together

get into trouble together

tease each other

look out for each other

nobody is ever left alone with their problems

generally they’re being that dream group of friends from fanfiction

the only difference is

they are this close in real life

#rami malek #freddie mercury #ben hardy #roger taylor #gwilym lee #brian may #joe mazzello #john deacon #tom hollander #aiden gillen #aaron mccusker #fanfic #au #hs!au #bohemian rhapsody #queen #headcanons #borhap cast #borhaps #ben jones #sami malek #allen leech #jessica blair herman #sarina potgieter #cameron deacon #luke deacon #laura deacon #joshua deacon #robert deacon #michael deacon

[deniigi]

concept developed after reading baby!matt in the sprawl: adventures in spider-babysitting. can you imagine the super/vigilante community/spiderverse gang + co. dealing with spiderman but small. bite-sized. little baby hands as spider-sticky as always. theres a baby on the ceiling. good god

Hi Anon.

Not quite what you asked for, but here’s some baby Pete from Tony’s POV I wrote yesterday to play with this concept. I don’t write Tony very much for many reasons, but I thought that this time, it might be pretty cute.

It cuts off kind of abruptly, but yeah. I didn’t really have the interest to finish it as a complete story. ANYWAYS

Long post under the cut (sorry mobile users!!)

“Tony,” Pepper said calmly, “I know that you want to help.But she is basically his mom.”

Yes, yes, yes.

But.

Consider this.

Small.

Pepper paused in typing and raised an eyebrow.

Tony got up in case she couldn’t see and showed her with hishands.

“Small,” he emphasized.

“Yes, he is very small,” she agreed.

“Very,” Tony told her firmly.

“And he is? Not our child?”

Yes, but again. Please consider: Small.

“So what I think I’m getting here is that you’re feelingpaternal today,” Pepper said during another pause in her typing.

Yes. Very.

“Why don’t we make a new baby robot then?” she offered himlike he was, himself, a child very studiously kicking the back of her seat in amovie theatre.

Because small.

“Tony. Peter is terrified of you right now.”

Yes, yes. But small,honey. So, so small.

“The second you touch him, he will start crying all overagain.”

Life is cruel.

“Have a seat, Tony. We will find you something small to holdin just a minute.”

Pete was always the size of a beansprout, height andwidth-wise, but at the present, he was but a bean. Sometimes, in their line ofwork, these things happen, and mostly they are unavoidable and Bruce and Dr.Cho had pronounced this particular affliction short-term and non-lethal andnone of that did anything to help the klaxons screaming in Tony’s head to gofind. And hold. The baby.

“You know, Tones, I think this might have affected you morethan him,” Bruce said, poking at him in the lab. Probably testing the frequencyat which he was fucking vibrating.

Must hold. The small.

“You stay here, Imma go get Rhodey.”

Yes, whatever, kindly fuck off unless there was a child inneed of holding in your possession.

Rhodey took one look at him and rolled his eyes and fuckedoff because he understood the highly complex workings of Tony’s mind. He cameback with a rabbit from one of the labs and stuffed it into his arms.

It was.

Unsatisfactory.

But closer.

“Tony. Peter is so scared of you right now, man,” Rhodeytold him.

Right. Yes. Logically, he knew this. But his brain would not compute. He could not make itstop fixating.

“He’s more scared of you then Barnes.”

Fucking horrible is what that was. Unfair on scales unknownto man. Peter and his smallness had,once separated from Tony, his apparent nightmare, wrapped tiny fingers aroundBarnes’s metal ones in silent fascination. Barnes was a baby-thief, however,and could not be trusted with children. They all ended up in Rogers’spossession and he was, every time, very confused. As were the police. Sam hadintervened to stop this this last time before it went to far and gave tiny,precious, baby-Pete a little toss which had banished the last of theTony-inspired upset and had resulted in giggling.

Tony had believed that what he had felt right then wasextreme jealously. He now knew this to be fact. He also knew that baby-Pete hadzero self-preservation instincts because preferred even Natasha’s company toTony’s.

It was problematic.

Everyone else got to hold baby-Pete, but not Tony. Tootraumatic.

Why.

May told him that it probably had to do with his facial hairwhich was horrifying. Like. Why. She said that this had always been a thing,but neglected to notice that half of Thor’s face was covered in fur and Sam hada moustache and goatee and there was no crying happening for those two.

“Yes, well. I guess they don’t seem very threatening,” shesaid, letting baby-Pete bury himself in her hair to hide from him.

He was so cute.

The universe was so hurtful.

Rhodey sighed and pet the rabbit while he clutched at it.

The moment of truth came when May brought Peter by for aquick check-up on Day two. Peter was very busy counting the beads on hernecklace. He was a great counter. For a toddler. That is. He was a very poorcounter by any other standard. He kept skipping the prime numbers with stunningaccuracy. No matter how many times May gently said, “One, two, three.” Healmost always started with “Fo’. Sis. Ni’.”

So cute.

So fucking cute.

Tony needed to sit down.

Rhodey told him that he was embarrassing the AvengersInitiative and he said, “I can’t fucking help it.” May got a phone call andasked Bruce if he could take her kid for a second. Bruce did, but notwillingly. Bruce didn’t deal with anything under the age of five. He could not.He didn’t understand their language or codes and he had very strong feelingsaround their breakability. So he handed Peter off to Rhodey as soon as hepossibly could. Rhodey saw Tony’s suffering and sighed.

“He’s just gonna start wailin’ Tones,” he said, bouncing thekid. Peter had become very interested in the seam of his sleeve.

Yes, yes, yes. But! But!

“I’m gonna give him to you, but you cannot, I repeat, cannotbe disappointed when he starts crying, we clear?”

Crystal.

“Alright.” Rhodey detached Peter from his shoulder andhanded him over to Tony’s hands and everything was fine. The klaxons shut offlike a switch had been flicked. Peter chewed on some fingers and looked up athim with big, liquid brown eyes. He did not scream. A good sign. He even dug afew of the fingers of the other hand into Tony’s shoulder. He was warm and softand so, so small.

After a moment, he stopped chewing and looked down to theground and cooed “Waaaay.”

“Oh yeah?” Tony asked him, adjusting him a little bit closerto his chest.

“Mm.”

Fuck.

Goddamnit.

“What’s down there?” Tony asked, looking down to see whatthe kid was staring at. The question brought Pete’s attention right back up tohis face. He blinked at Tony like he’d never seen him before. Tony practicallyfelt Rhodey brace for impact beside him.

But still. No crying.

Thank god.

“Hey, there. Welcome back,” Tony said, bouncing a bit.

Peter hummed at him again and patted gently at his face. Hislittle hands were warm and soft. Tony could die. He could die happy now. Noklaxons. No crying.

“I would kill for you,” he said mournfully. Peter leaned upand pressed their cheeks together. His was almost entirely chubby baby fat.Inconceivably soft. He was really into the rasp Tony’s own cheek made and wentto business giving himself beard burn in his enthusiasm. Tony had to pull himaway before he rubbed his face raw.

“You,” he told the boy seriously, “I would kill for you.”

Peter cocked his head like he hadn’t quite caught that. Tonyrepeated it for his edification. He accepted it with grace and went back tochewing on his fingers.

“Ah, he’s not scared of you today,” May noted when she cameback in from her phone call.

No. Praise be. He handed the child back and felt lessdesperate than before. She laughed at the visible relief on his face.

“He was pretty volatile the other day, don’t take itpersonally,” she said. “You should have seen him with Wade.”

Ahahahaha. Yeah.

Wait.

What?

Peter loved Wilson. He admired the fuck out of the guynormal-sized and was obsessed with him while fun-sized. May explained thatWilson had heard what had happened and had dropped in to make sure all wasright with their tiny family and to offer his services in the case of any bumpsin the road. He evidently had not planned on becoming Peter’s obsession.

“He’s kind of a natural,” May said, “Although, I’m not surehe’s overly comfortable with it.”

Yeah. You don’t say.

“Pete cried for nearly half an hour after he left, it waspretty surprising. He’s not much of a crier.”

You. don’t. Say.

“He’s fine, of course. Wade would never hurt him.”

No, because Tony would kill him if he did.

May took Peter’s tiny hand and had him wave to them all onthe way out, once a clean bill of health had been acquired. Pete didn’t seem tofully appreciate the gesture, but he was into the waving part and smiled widefor it, which was more than enough for Tony.

“I think I might have to murder Wilson,” he admitted toRhodey once they were gone.

“I think you’re being dramatic,” Rhodey said.

No, he was probably right.

He was definitely right.

Tony actually got to see this beautiful friendship when Maycalled him out of the blue and said that someone had bugged their house. She’dfelt a little uncomfortable as of late and so had called Wilson for aprofessional opinion and Wilson had located three bugs in the Parker residence.He was trying to do one last sweep when Tony got there to collect them. Tonysuspected it was SHIELD. He suspected this because Cap had had the same problemthe other day.

He didn’t make it a habit to go to the Parker residence andwas always taken aback by the sheer amount of foliage in the front room. Itlooked like May had pushed some of the more fragile containers to the backs ofshelves or moved them up out of the reach of tiny hands. But she needn’t beconcerned at the moment, because Peter was dead set on ruining Wilson’sbug-sweep.

He definitely thought that Wilson’s time was better used, inthat moment, in playing with him. Wilson, for his part, was just trying to dohis damn job for once. He’d take two steps and nearly trip over the kid andthen grab him and dump him on the couch, which Peter thought was the height ofexcitement. He scrambled off the couch and went to go throw himself back intoWilson’s field of vision as soon as humanly possible.

Wade, bless him, could only deal with this so much.

“Baby boy,” he said, holding Peter at eye level the thirdtime he’d done this, just in the time Tony had been there. “I am trying to do athing. You are being a very, very, verygood disrupter. The best disrupter.”

Peter decided this was high praise. When Wade tried to puthim back down on the couch this time, Peter whined and latched onto his neck.Wade gently extricated him and held his hands at his sides when he sat him downthis time.

“That’s a no,” he said firmly.

Peter made an upset hiccup.

Wade valiantly did not do what Tony would have done whichwas shatter to bits and give the kid anything he wanted.

“You stay here,” Wilson instructed. Then he let go of Pete’shands and stood up and went back to his careful sweeping.

Peter watched him for a few seconds before he got bored ofbeing in one place. He started to off the couch, but Wilson caught him in theact.

“Ah,” he said with a finger. Peter squirmed back into place.

A new game.

And Wilson knew it. He turned very slowly back to his work.Within moments, Pete was at it again.

“AH.”

Back on the cushion.

The kid practically rattled in happiness.

May hid her smile while she handed Tony the found bugs.Yeah. SHIELD grade. He sighed.

“Wilson, last time I ran into this, there was five.”

“Copy that. Here’s four.”

Huh. What do you know? Guy knew what he was doing. Tony tookthe fourth bug and inspected it for insignia. Peter made a noise of triumph.

Tony looked over and they all saw that he was proud ofhimself for having escaped the couch while Wilson had been occupied liberatingthe most recent bug. He’d latched himself to Wilson’s arm.

“Not this again,” Wade moaned.

Again?

“No sticking,” Wade threatened.

“Ya.”

“I said no.”

“Ya!”

“Aigh. If you’re fucking sticking—no, of course, you’resticking. Peter.”

Uh.

“He likes to stick to Wade’s suit,” May said evenly.

“PETER.”

Yeah, he was getting that impression.

“OFF.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Nooo!”

“Oh my god. Child. I am doing work.”

Tony very very rarely saw Wilson any kind of serious, so itwas kind of amazing to see him so put out.

“Way!”

“What?”

“Way!!”

“Volume does not equal clarity, tiny monster. What?”

Peter hunkered in, beyond happy with his work. He did notlet go of Wilson’s arm. He cuddled his forehead into Wilson’s pec and the guylegitimately took a few calming breaths.

“You,” he said slowly to the side of Peter’s head, “Are a lot.”

“Way.”

“Glad you know. Alright, fine. That’s your decision. Up wego.”

Peter, for whatever reason, was chill with latching ontoWade when he was on the ground, but as soon as there was air-time involved,this relationship broke down.

No.

He did not want to be held. Or carried. Or any of that. No.He wanted down. Immediately.

“No, no. We are making decisions today,” Wade said over thewhining. “You made that one, so you gotta live with it.”

Peter huffed and puffed and then hiccupped like he was goingto cry, but Wilson just carried on with his business, one-handed this time. Andsomehow, this ignoring process worked? Peter’s hiccupping settled down withWade’s jerky, searching movements. Peter watched his chin as he felt under ashelve blindly. He grabbed at it..

May smiled again and then turned to Tony and mouthed ‘anatural.’

Yeah, so it would seem.

Wilson found two more bugs and, once Peter had settled infor a nap and could be transferred to May’s arms without incident, completedone good last sweep and declared the home bug-free. He said that he needed totake off, he hadn’t anticipated this taking so much time. He informed May thathe’d be in touch and started to leave, but it was as if Peter had a fuckin’Wilson alert in his head. He woke up instantly. Wilson was half through thedoor when he startled just wailing. The way he had when Tony had tried to holdhim the first time.

Devastated. Devastating.

May shushed him and muffled him by tucking him into herneck. Wilson’s body spoke tons of guilt.

“He’s fine, Wade. Go ahead. Thank you for your help,” Maysaid.

Wilson nodded, hesitant. And then hurried off to whatevercrow’s nest he needed to go perch in.

Tony took the bugs back to the lab.

Peter didn’t want to play later that week, when Bruce wastrying to take his temperature. He scowled at the thermometer and hid in his aunt’sneck.

“Bad day?” Bruce asked once the child had been traumatizedto obtain the temp.

“Very,” May sighed. Tony felt bad for her. She was still asingle mom. She didn’t exactly have a whole lot of extra time or support inthis surprise toddler business. He’d offered to help, but while Pete was happyto be held by him, and by Pepper, he would not tolerate their prolongedpresence without his aunt. That was asking for tears and frustration.

May said that her husband had been a big help back whenPeter had first come to live with them. He hadn’t quite been this little, butBen, as an electrician, had had a little more flexibility in his schedule andso could do a lot of the childcare that May’s job didn’t really allow for.

It was harder without him and harder with a younger,traumatized kid who only had one relative to cling to. She mentioned offhandthat Wilson had babysat for her for a few hours that week, and that had gonefine. But she was thinking that maybe she’d ask Franklin Nelson to do it, sincehe was really good with kids this age.

And like?

Franklin Nelson? Like, the lawyer? The one who worked forHB&C? The guy who took the Jessica Jones and Punisher cases? That FranklinNelson?

“He’s a friend of our family,” May explained.

Huh.

No shit.

“Peter is very fond of his friend Matt.”

What, like. Matt Murdock, Matt? Infamous blind legalbulldog, Matt Murdock?

“That’s the one.”

Like. Okay? That was weird. Would he be alright with them?

“Oh, I’m sure of it.”

Well, if she was sure.

She asked if she could give Tony’s number to the lawyers incase something happened and she couldn’t leave work and she absolutely could dothat.

Tony heard not a peep from the lawyers the next day. Or theone after that. Franklin Nelson, he knew, was a very responsible guy. And if hewas used to little kids, then it made sense that he had the situation undercontrol.

Tony did, however, get a text from May respectfully askingif he could grab the kid and hold him for an hour or so, as her shift had beenunexpectedly prolonged.

Which was how Tony found himself in Hell’s Kitchen, underPepper’s orders to be respectful and not get shot, knocking on the closed upoffice door of Nelson, Murdock & Page.

Page, if he recalled, was the crazy reporter who picked afight with half of the hotshot murderers in the city. The Punisher. WilsonFisk. Union Allied. Gal didn’t know how to quit. He was somewhat surprisedthen, for the door to open to the lady herself with Peter securely settled on herhip.

“Go away, he’s mine,” she said. And closed the door.

Uh.

Awkward.

The door reopened to the tune of Nelson scolding hispartner. He invited Tony into the place with greater politeness. It was a hugechange from the guy’s old office at HB&C. Much tighter. Warmer. Very homey.

Karen Page had settled herself behind the secretary’s deskto bounce Peter in her lap. The kid hummed with the movement and seemed to becomforted by this.

“May said she was working late, but she didn’t have to sendyou around,” Nelson said. He himself had changed into warmer colors with themove it seemed. No more stiff blue suits for this guy. Tony could dig it.“Really, we can watch him until she’s done with work.”

“It’s fine, I’m being selfish, too,” Tony admitted offhandedly.Nelson seemed to understand this. He looked over to where Karen Page hadwrapped Pete up in her arms and was going through the ABCs with him. He mumbledalong, more or less in time.

“Kare, I’m afraid the time has come,” Nelson said withfinality.

“Noooooo.”

“Now is the time, girl. Nothing you can do.”

“Matt! Foggy is abusing me!”

“Thank you, I’ll take that.”

“Kidnapping, Matt! This man is kidnapping my ward!”

Peter went easily into Nelson’s arms and buried his fingersinto his collar. Page took it hard and slumped down in despair. Nelson cluckedat her and rolled his eyes and went to hand Peter over but two things happened.

One, Peter took the opportunity to stick to Nelson’s shirtand jacket and two, Murdock came out of his cave to investigate the aura ofdespair emitting from Page, who was evidently slowing descending to the flooras goo.

“We lose Karen?” Murdock asked in a surprisingly pleasanttone.

“That’s a yes. Peter, let go, honey.”

Ooh. Tricky. How to handle this one without revealing Peteto be Spiderkid. Tony moved forward and began to help Nelson dislodge thefingers. They did not come willingly and as soon as one hand was removed, Petermade an unhappy grunt and dug the other one in deeper.

“C’mon, kiddo,” Tony encouraged. No dice.

Murdock raised an eyebrow their way and then busied himselfcurling over the desk to tap at Page. Possibly to revive her. Who knew?

“Matty, can you come here?” Nelson finally asked when bothhis and Tony’s attempts had run their course. Pete wasn’t budging and he’dhidden his face in Nelson’s neck to prove it. Murdock lifted himself up frombehind the desk as if to say, ‘who? Me?”

“Matt.”

“Alright, alright.”

Wow, so begrudging.

Murdock kept a hand out when he moved forward without astick or anything to help him, and found Nelson’s shoulder without muchtrouble. He then, somewhat playfully, felt around until he was dancing fingersacross Peter’s face. The kid giggled.

“Who’s this?” Murdock asked.

More giggling.

“Well, certainly doesn’t seem like Foggy. Not grumpy enough.”

Nelson gave him a flat look that he couldn’t see, but musthave been able to somehow feel. Murdock had perfectly straight teeth. It waskind of eerie.

He trailed his hand a little further along until he wastickling Peter’s neck and, in his moment of weakness, swept the kid right offof Foggy’s shoulder. Like some kind of ninja. It happened so fast that Tonyalmost missed it entirely. Like.

How the fuck did he do that? Could he figure out wherePeter’s arms were just by sound?

Dude. He needed to look into how blind people experiencedthe world. That shit was incredible.

“Thank you,” Nelson sighed. Murdock tucked the kid into hisown neck. Nelson stiffened. “Matt. Matty. What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” He spun around and headed back towards hisoffice.

Oh.

Tony got it now.

“Matthew. Bring him back.”

“What? Can’t see you, Fogs. Can you speak a little louder?”

Nelson’s irritation, which Tony had seen go as high as afour out of ten, ratcheted up to a six in no time at all.

“You two are insufferable,” he said.

“WHAT?”

“WHAT, FOGGY?” Page echoed from the floor.

Nelson very clearly had strong feelings about his partnerswhich he was actively repressing to save face in front of Tony.

“I am so sorry. Give me five minutes,” he said and then leftTony standing in the waiting room while he went into Murdock’s office andclosed the door behind him. Two minutes passed in silence, then Page sniffedand picked herself up off the floor, collected her shit from her own office andheaded out. She resolutely called Tony a pig before she closed the door behindher, which was, in retrospect, understandable.

He didn’t know which part of his being in specific hadoffended her, but he was used to this treatment.

Nelson remerged around the three minute mark with a verygrumpy Peter once again in his arms, although this time, less interested inclinging to him. Apparently, he didn’t want to be separated from Murdock. Thiswas conveyed by the whining and grabby hands over Nelson’s shoulder.

Nelson handed him off to Tony without a struggle this time.Peter huffed up at him and pointedly looked back towards Murdock, now skulkingirritably in his office entrance. Defeated, but only for now.

Right.

Tony wasn’t sticking around for that battle. He thankedNelson and made a hasty retreat.

Peter wailed half of the way back to the tower. Didn’t likethe car seat. Didn’t like the car. Didn’t like Tony at the minute either.

Ah, well. T’was the toddler life, wasn’t it?

#fic #also I eschew basically everything about endgame #i am aware that tony and pepper have a baby #that is fine #in my verses they do not

[urcadelimabean]

1, 2, 3

I’m doing a year in review like a real fanartist, how cool is that?? This was the first time I’ve ever posted fanart so that’s been really neat, and I also enjoyed getting back into drawing since its a part of my brain I haven’t used in a long time. This is almost everything I made this year except a few things from the beginning since I think my style has hopefully improved a bit. I wish I was better at coloring and drawing backgrounds but also I’m pretty happy with how these three turned out, because even if they’re not perfect they look a whole hell of a lot better than when I started.

I enjoyed drawing Anne sort of snarling at Jack but I’m glad I also drew her sharing a softer much more romantic moment with Max, and I’m especially happy with Max’s expression. I also worked really hard on Charles’ expression and parted lips. Charles originally looked too much like Flint and Jack looked like some random guy so I’m glad I was able to fix that!! I had a lot of trouble with certain things: Anne’s face in general, the light on Max’s chin and eyelid, Charles’ jaw and neck, and all of the ears. Anne was a bit too bent over and I had to fiddle a lot with everyone’s postures to make them more natural. But at least Max’s boobs came very naturally to me :P

I really dislike drawing hair, especially since it’s hard to draw messy hair and I sense that Anne and Charles are resistant to combs. Don’t even get me started on Jack’s hair because I don’t know what the fuck it’s doing!!! I never look forward to drawing his hair, good lord. I also don’t like drawing clothes...which is why I mostly avoided drawing them. I love drawing hands though, and I love the emotion they add by gently cupping a face or side of the neck.

About height differences, I don’t think Max is that much shorter but it’s too late and I don’t care!!! I like the angles it created - Max looking up and Anne leaning down and that’s what I liked about this gorgeous pose that inspired everything. Maybe Max is sinking into the water and pulling Anne after her? And then Jack is actually supposed to be a hair taller than Charles. I used this reference, and I could have switched their positions but I wanted to draw Zach’s nose and I refused to budge on that. So I figured Charles slouches and Jack probably has to bend down just a little bit. Charles is bad with emotions so I figure he’d just wait for Jack to kiss him while Jack becomes frustrated because he’s used to a much more direct approach (y’know, like a knife to the throat.)

I guess I became a bit more comfortable with challenging myself but also not feeling like I had to challenge myself too much, because ultimately this is supposed to be fun. I’m happy that even though I felt overwhelmed with my projects, I finished all of them!!! I felt like I was making things really slowly but part of the learning process has definitely been learning to be less hard on myself.

I’m extremely relieved I was able to post my maxanne art. I was worried it would be viewed as too explicit and that made me realize how important this drawing is to me as a lady who loves ladies. Their nakedness is not obscene - it’s important to the emotion and story behind the drawing. I’m probably happiest with this one and very happy I can share it with you guys :)

Next up I’d really like to finally get the Max and Jack forehead kiss on paper and then draw Flint. I’ve been avoiding him because drawing beards is the absolute worst, but I love the bearded look and I love him waaaay too much to stay away forever. Then there’s my favorite sea poodle Mr. Long John Silver himself - I’ll have to deal with his beard at some point too.

#black sails #black sails fanart #urcadelimabeanart #i love the idea of anne threatening jack with a knife #because we saw her do it to max #and i just have a suspicion that it's her signature move #lol anne #aha maybe i'll draw flint without a shirt???? #then i won't have to draw his shirt!!!!! #GENIUS