#I’m struggling to find the perfect concert fit <3

[mof-rot]

So uh I made The Crane Wives mood boards???

#idk i was bored #and I’m going to the concert #I’m struggling to find the perfect concert fit <3 #mof aesthetics #moodboard #the crane wives #foxlore #coyote stories #the fool in her wedding gown #safe ship harbored #the well #pintrest #aesthetic #music moodboard #music

[modelbus]

Hello!! I LOVE your writing, like I’m obsessed! So, I can’t tell if your requests are open, buttt if they are, I would DIE for some fluff turned to angst of a fem!reader who is in a group with cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy nicknamed the chaos squad by the fandom, where she is the least popular in the group and a rumour spread that shes only in it for the popularity, so they slowly stoped inviting her to streams and vlogs and ghosting her.

it could start with like three two sentence stories about the group (or something), how it was formed just fluffy moments, and then be like “but it didn’t stay like that for long..” and explain why she was subtly kicked from the group before a scene where shes streaming and gets asked about why shes not been in any videos anymore.

PHEW that was ALOT, if its to long you can obviously shorten it or just not do it- but if requests are open and you like the idea, I would love to see something like this!! <3

PS. You are super cool, keep up the amazing work!! (When you want to ofc)

-✨🌌🌙 Anon

Thank you so much! I tried my best to include everything :D This literally took me out of my writing slump

Part 2 :)

Pairing(s): cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Cut Chaos

The feeling of belonging was something nearly everyone chased after. After all, being out of place was simply… lonely. And, somehow, you found yourself slotting into the weirdest place in the world.

A handful of stupid friends.

You always found yourself drawn to dumbasses, in the most affectionate way. Like looks for like, you suppose. And shit, did you find some people that could make you cry laughing even on the worst days.

Ranboo, Tubbo, Wilbur, Tommy. Four people that made the sun rise every day, that dragged you out of bed for the stupidest vlogs to ever exist. Fans adored the five of you together so much that you got a group name for the first time in your career: the Chaos Squad.

Truly, it was a fitting name. The things that the five of you got up to, you’re certain no normal sane person would do. But, well, your job as a streamer already set you apart from the category of “normal” a long time ago, so you definitely didn’t mind the messes you got into with them.

From Tommy dragging the group to an abandoned island, saying it’d be fun to try to escape (you fell out of a tree and Wilbur sprained his ankle), to screaming along at Lovejoy concerts, it felt like the five of you were unstoppable.

And God, did you love them. It didn’t matter how many times Ranboo hit his head on things, you’d still laugh. It didn’t matter that you literally passed out from laughing so hard once, you were still happy. Pure, unfiltered love.

The five of you against the world, forever. You could see it, in those sunny days where you grinned so hard your cheeks hurt (they were the first ones to make you do that—the realization only made you grin harder). The perfect idea of happiness.

Was it any wonder things didn’t stay that way, that perfect, for long?

A rumor.

It always seemed to start with one of those, nowadays. A simple murmur among fans that grew and grew, until you were closing out of twitter at 2, 4, 5 AM, debating if you should just delete the app and put your status on “Do Not Disturb.”

You accepted the fact that being a female content creator was going to be a struggle a long time ago. It was a fact, something you knew you couldn’t avoid, especially in gaming. Having rumors about you online wasn’t new. It would never be new, not as long as you were yourself.

But you thought you’d be past caring about them by now. You thought the tight panic that gripped your heart, made it hard to breathe, was a thing of the past. So stupid.

One private account turned into multiple threads, turned into trends on the trending tab.

Everyone thought you were using your friends, the chaos squad as a whole, just to boost your career. To leech off anyone’s subscribers, just for some money in your pocket.

The idea made you sick to your core.

How dare they? How dare they ever think you didn’t genuinely care for the four? That they were anything less than the lightness in your heart, the freedom on your mind?

Rumors.

You ignored them. Even the thought of addressing them made you feel pissed off like you’ve never been before. It was such an absurd idea! At the very least, you knew your friends would see past the hateful people.

Right?

It starts with an unanswered message in the group chat.

Unanswered messages weren’t new. A stray comment tended to get lost in the general mess that the group chat was, so you weren’t concerned. Just laughed to yourself quietly; it wasn’t important anyways, just a photo of a cat you saw.

Until it happened again. And again. Until more of your messages went ignored than responded to, until the group chat had less and less messages each day.

When the first vlog comes out, the process repeats. It’s on Tommy’s channel, of course. Him, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Wilbur. The chaos squad, just without you. It surprised you, because you never even realized they filmed a video, and normally all of you share upcoming videos.

All the warning signs were obvious, and you were too much of a damn fool.

You filmed one vlog with them after that, exploring a supposedly haunted house, before you woke up a month later and realized you hadn’t talked to them in a week.

One week turns into two, two into three, until you’ve realized what’s happened. You were gone, out of the picture. Happiness had slipped through your fingers faster than you could’ve ever comprehended, and now you were in a dark room—literally.

But what could you do? If they didn’t want you, there was nothing you could do to stop the unraveling of your universe.

So you did the same thing you did before them, defaulting back to what was safe: streaming alone.

Today, it’s just a mindless game. Yesterday was the same, and fuck, this isn’t the same anymore. Not when you don’t have Tubbo in the chat sending messages, or Wilbur using Text-To-Speech.

But you’re here, still streaming. Still going, no matter how tempting it is to just shut off your computer and pretend the last months of your life never happened.

There’s always fans though, and if anything cheers you up, it’s them. So your donations are on, allowing them to be read aloud while you play the silly little unpacking game.

“Where am I putting the diploma guys? Where does this go?” You ask, mouse hovering over the virtual object. “Maybe I’ll just put it under the pillow…”

“StarEmojis donated $15! If up is down and yes is no, how many sides does a triangle have?”

“Thank you, but… uh...” You narrow your eyes at the message. “None, it’s a circle?”

Shrugging, you drag the diploma in the game to under the pillow. The riddle sounds familiar, but not one you know the answer to. It sounds like something Wilbur would send in the group chat at 2 in the morning, honestly.

With that thought in mind, your eyes flicker over the user that donated it. StarEmojis. Not Wilbur.

You’re so stupid for hoping. For the jump in your heart, for the frantic searching.

“StarStarMoon donated $20! Why aren’t you in any Chaos Squad videos anymore? Love you!”

Air catches in your lungs, dread swelling in your chest as your hands still on the mouse and keyboard. That shouldn’t have gotten past the moderators, but it did.

And now you have to answer it.

It wasn’t like you could tell the truth: that you weren’t good enough. That even your best friends didn’t believe you over rumors from strangers online.

Any lie would have a chance of getting back to them though. Not that you can imagine them caring, not anymore.

You swallow past the lump in your throat that’s killing you, taking a breath in before answering. One chance to get the fans to move on, one chance to find the impossible balance between the agony inside of you and cool indifference.

“We’re all just busy.” You say, forcing a smile on your face.

It’s true, at least. Everyone is busy. Everyone except you, that’s it.

“Just scheduling problems. Wil- Wilbur has Lovejoy practices and performances.” You stumble over his name. Did you even have the right to call him Wil anymore? “And Tommy is just always busy. He’s the busiest person, I swear.”

Is that true anymore? You don’t know. He used to be, but you used to help force him to take breaks. Was he taking breaks? You’ll never know.

With another forced smile, you give a half-hearted shrug. “So yeah, just busy, don’t worry guys.”

It’s with baited breath that you wait, eyes scanning chat to see if they bought it. From what you’re seeing, they have.

“Now we need to reorganize these clothes, because they’re killing me like this—“

Your discord pings quietly on another monitor, and you scramble to open it. Just your mods apologizing for letting the donation go through. You send a quick message back to them before pushing the donation to the back of your head just like everything relating to the group you’re no longer part of.

What could you do, anyways?

This was out of your control.

#dsmp #mcyt #mcyt imagine #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x you #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x you #ranboo x reader #ranboo x you #tubbo x reader #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #tubbo #ranboo

[straightupsickfics]

another lovesick afternoon

literally genuinely 2.5k words of modern au ed and stede being the softest grossest saps you ever did see while ed gets a cold. and i, personally, love that for them. and me. <3

****

“God, fuck, this is good, are you sure you don’t want to… well, no, probably not a good idea,” Ed says, offering Stede a sip of his iced mocha coffee and pulling it away all in one fell swoop. 

Stede pouts, though Ed knows he had no real intention of drinking it. Ed likes his coffee sweet enough to give Stede a toothache, and while Stede enjoys the occasional sweet himself, the scone he has beside him is more than enough to do the job for him. 

“Think I’m catching a cold or something,” Ed explains. He’d woken up this morning with the first twinges of a sore throat, the start of a runny nose, but had powered through a shower and felt mostly fine after some water and orange juice.

Still, Stede gives a little squeak of protest.

“You should’ve said!” Stede tells him. “I could’ve brought coffee home for us.”

Ed rolls his eyes and smiles fondly. “S’nothing yet, a little sore throat, a few sniffles, that’s all. Didn’t you drag Lucius to a concert while he was sick a few weeks ago?” 

Stede’s eyes narrow. “He wasn’t sick, for one thing, Edward, he had a hangover, and that was his own fault. And besides, it’s different…” 

Different when it’s you.

Stede doesn’t finish the thought aloud, but Ed knows what he means, and his warm, fond smile is all the confirmation Ed needs that he’s right. 

Ed lets his hand rest on Stede’s hand while they drink their coffee and eat their croissants. They hadn’t had much hope of finding a spot in the park on a morning as nice as this one, but a bench had opened up just as they’d arrived, perfect timing, and Ed had all but sprinted over to it to stop it being taken. 

“You almost took out that old woman,” Stede had admonished him between fits of laughter. 

“I did not!” 

“You’re going to be on the news! Beautiful man takes down senior citizen,” Stede had narrated in his best newscaster impression. 

Ed had snorted a laugh at this, which only made Stede laugh harder, until they were two grown men dissolving into a helpless fit of laughter on a park bench on a weekend morning. It was, honestly, a perfect morning. 

“What’s next on your list?” Ed asks now, leaning over and brushing a crumb from the corner of Stede’s mouth. 

Stede seems to falter for a minute, unsure. “Well, we don’t need to go anywhere else if you’re not feeling up to it—” He says quickly. And while he’s right, they don’t need to be anywhere. They aren’t “running errands” so much as moseying around their little town, enjoying the warmth of the day and each other’s company.

“We can just as easily do that at home,” Stede insists. 

“I’m not on my deathbed, love, seriously. You said you wanted to look at books for six or seven hours, didn’t you?” 

Stede’s still sputtering a protest as Ed gets to his feet and offers Stede his hand, laughing. 

*

Stede Bonnet really could look at books for hours on end if he was left to his own devices, and it’s kind of fucking adorable. Ed turns a corner and finally finds his husband crouched down and reading the back of a hardback book, completely lost in his own, fictional world. 

“So, you come here often?” Ed asks, voice low, mouth close to Stede’s ear. He smiles when Stede’s neck and cheeks flush a pale shade of pink in surprise. 

“Ah! Every now and then,” Stede squeaks, struggling to his feet. Ed offers him his hand and tugs him to his feet, wrapping an arm around Stede’s waist to balance him. 

It’s Stede’s favorite store, full to bursting with books on shelves and stacked in piles, full of big windows that leave the whole store entirely drenched in sun on bright sunny mornings. Like this one, with the sun hitting the blond in Stede’s hair just so and making it look like it’s made of pure sunshine. 

Stede is pure sunshine, Ed thinks to himself. They come here just about as often as they can, Ed happy enough to trail behind Stede and listen to plot summaries and debates over when to buy the hardback and when to wait for the paperback. Their shelves at home were bursting, too, but they always managed to find room. 

“Y'good?” 

Stede’s still flushed as he nods, apparently happy enough to have Ed half hold him up in the back of the store. Which is more than fine with Ed, too. 

“Look at this,” Stede says finally, holding out a book for Ed to inspect, something about Greek mythology that he’s had his eye out for. He explains the story to Ed who really does listen as best as he can, but finds himself almost immediately distracted by the animated expressions that dance across Stede’s face, the way he talks with his hands and explains every last detail… 

“Sorry, went off on a bit of a tangent,” Stede says, finally winding himself down. “You didn’t need to know all that.” He’s stuck at a crossroads between embarrassed and apologetic and Ed shakes his head, stopping it in its tracks. 

“Sure I did, fucking fascinating,” he promises. 

Stede smiles, then leans in to kiss him. “I know that’s not true, but I love you.” 

“Love you, too,” Ed says. He lets Stede guide him through the rest of the store, lets himself be talked into another black leather notebook that he definitely doesn’t need, and Stede only fusses a little when Ed has to duck to the side and cough into his elbow. His nose has started to run here and there, enough that he has to say yes to the packet of tissues Stede offers him in the car. 

“Fucking hate this time of year,” Ed grouses. “Germs everywhere, always end up coming down with something…” 

“Poor Ed,” Stede coos at him, only a hint of teasing in his voice. He lays a hand on Ed’s knee and offers to drive, but Ed just shakes his head determined to continue their day out as planned. He rubs his nose into the handful of tissues a final time before pulling out of the parking spot and onto the road. 

There’s a craft store not far from the bookstore, and Stede insists it's only fair that they pop in for Ed since they did the bookstore for so long, and Ed doesn’t have the energy (or, really, the desire) to argue. 

If Stede can spend hours looking at books, Ed could just as easily spend hours browsing yarn and textiles and fabrics, running them through his fingers and dreaming up projects, matching them to patterns he has saved across a million tabs on his phone… 

“Oh! This is a nice one, I think,” Stede says, holding up a bright yellow skein of soft, expensive yarn. “Feel that!” He holds it out for Ed enthusiastically.

It really is nice, and extra soft, perfect for the upcoming fall season. Ed does like to make Stede a sweater every year, and he’d found the perfect sunflower pattern and bookmarked it the other day. 

“Love that,” Ed agrees, and tosses it into his hand basket — he hadn’t even bothered pretending that he wouldn’t be leaving the store without at least a few things, and now he has to find some complementary gold hues for the sweater he’d definitely be making for Stede. 

“You don’t have to…” Stede starts, but Ed quiets him with a look. 

“Well, now I’ve gone and germed it up, so… Had something in mind anyway,” Ed assures him when Stede gives him a worried little frown. “You’ll love it, trust me.” 

“That I do,” Stede smiles, and follows him through the aisle and helping him pick out a few more shades of yarn. 

Ed could browse all day, normally, but today he feels himself starting to drag a little. His head is starting to hurt, and the sore throat from this morning is coming back in full force, too. He stops to sneeze into his elbow when Stede wanders off down another aisle, just two quick, muffled hht’mpsh! Etshhh! sneezes, and still he hears Stede’s voice making its way to him, though Stede himself is still out of sight. 

“Bless you!” 

Ed smiles a little as he digs in his pocket for the last of the tissues Stede had given him earlier. They probably had to go home at this rate, what with his nose in rare fucking form and his head throbbing the way it is. 

With a sigh, Ed goes to find his husband. 

*

“hhh’ISCHih! h’sschUH!”

“Bless—”

“hd’ISCHuh! Eh’sschIEW! hh'iiishhh!”

“...you! Goodness, that’s a lot of sneezes, isn’t it? Are you sure you really need to work on that just now?” Stede asks. 

Ed sniffles, then sniffles again, then gives up and reaches for another tissue and rubs his nose into it. Blowing it doesn’t seem to do much of anything, just irritates things enough to make him sneeze again, which he’s already getting fucking tired of. 

He looks down at the granny square he’d been ignoring in favor of his cold for the last thirty minutes and realizes that Stede is probably right, he’s not going to make any more progress today. He can barely focus on anything with the sneezing or coughing or sniffling or some other cold symptom fighting for his attention. 

“I thought so,” Stede says gently, tucking his bookmark into his book and setting it, along with Ed’s crochet work, on the coffee table. “Why don’t you let me get you something for that cold, hm? Then we can just relax before we eat dinner. I’ll order from the deli you like. Soup’ll do wonders for you, I think.” 

Ed lets his head roll back against the couch cushions and nods. Stede really is the best when Ed’s sick, there’s never been any doubt about that, and this time is no different. Ed stays put in the living room, waiting while Stede putters around in their bedroom and bathroom, grabbing things. Knowing him, he’d come out with half the blankets in his collection, half the medicine cabinet, and insist on ordering almost the entire menu for dinner. 

And Ed… Ed wouldn’t have it any other way. All he could do was make it up to him when Stede inevitably came down with this in a week or so. 

“Here we are!” Stede says, announcing his return. Ed can’t help but laugh when he sees the armload of stuff he’s brought with him. 

“Are you kicking me out of our bedroom?” Ed teases. "Moving me out here permanently?"

“What! No,” Stede says, dumping the blankets onto Ed’s lap and arranging the array of medicines on the coffee table. “Never.”

“Oh, good, had me worried for a minute there, thought you’d packed up everything I own,” Ed laughs as Stede glares at him. 

“Y’know I love you, right?” 

“Yes, because I am an excellent husband with a wonderful bedside manner. Now, I’m going to make tea, you take two of these and one of these and I’ll be right back.” And with that, Stede's off again, Ed laughing quietly on the couch.

By the time the tea is cooled enough to drink, Ed is curled up around Stede on the couch in what can only be called a nest of blankets, doing more sniffling than anything else, but feeling better overall, thanks to the magical combination of medicine, tea, and Stede.

“This really hit you right out of nowhere, hm?” Stede murmurs, stroking a hand through Ed’s hair. It’s shorter and definitely grayer these days, but Ed’s pretty sure he’ll always react to Stede touching it the same way: melting into a pile of goo. God, he really is getting soft in his old age. 

“Yeah,” Ed sighs, leaning back into Stede’s touch. “Not so bad though, I guess…” Soon there would be way too much food arriving at their door, and cleaning up to do, and planning for the week ahead, but for now… 

Now, Ed would swear he can hear Stede’s gleeful little smile behind him. He decides to let him win this one, just before drifting off in a late-afternoon nap. 

*

“Stede, darling, I love you and your adorable, ridiculous, over the top nighttime routine but can you please just— Yes, good, that. Thank you very much,” Ed says, unable to stop the smile from taking over his face as Stede throws himself dramatically onto the bed and curls himself around Ed’s chest, face pressed right into the spot between his neck and shoulder, nose warm against his ear. 

Heaven. 

“Fuck, that’s it,” Ed sighs. 

Stede laughs, giggles, really, and Ed can feel the sound warm right through him. “Y’laughing at me?” Ed asks through a yawn. 

“Never, my love,” Stede promises. “It’s just that we have been literally together all day now, and you were really quite demanding that I get in here right now,” he points out. “You slept on me for two hours just this afternoon!”

Ed pretends to consider this. “So? I wait all day for this, Stede,” he says, then pouts just a little. “Don’t you?” 

“Of course, yes,” Stede says, leaning over and brushing their noses together just gently before kissing him. Ed sniffles a little at the touch, his nose extra sensitive thanks to the monster cold he’s managed to pick up, but Stede doesn’t seem to mind that. 

“Good,” Ed says. “Feels good,” he repeats. 

Stede really can’t seem to stop himself from smiling now, as silly as it might seem. They really had spent the entire day together, and now here they are, giggling like children after lights out. “You feel good, too,” Stede tells him. “Though… Do you feel alright?” 

Ed twitches his nose like he’s testing something, sniffles a few times, then nods. “Think m’alright for now. Still doped up on everything you gave me earlier.” 

“Advil for your head and some cold medicine is hardly doped up,” Stede argues. He kisses Ed again, a distraction, but a welcome one. 

“You take good care of me,” Ed acquiesces, though it’s hard not to with Stede curled around him like this. 

Never one to turn down a compliment, Stede beams. 

“hh’itsSCH! hd’ISCHuh! Eh’sschIEW!”

The rush of sneezes manages to take Ed completely by surprise, and he knows he doesn’t completely manage to duck away from Stede in the process. 

“Fuck… sorry,” Ed mutters, fumbling for a tissue. 

“God bless you! Maybe not quite on the mend yet, then,” Stede says, smiling. 

Ed opens his mouth, ready to apologize again, or promise he’ll take extra good care of Stede in return for being patient zero in the span of a single day, but Stede stops him with another kiss. 

“There’s no way you’re escaping this, mate,” Ed tells him. “You’ve been all over me all day.”

“You’ve been all over me, too,” Stede points out. 

“Right, well, sorry in advance, is what I mean,” Ed says. "Never not going to be all over you, for what it's worth."

“Good. Me either. And it's bound to happen,” Stede shrugs. "If I get it, I get it."

And really, how did Ed get this lucky? Even if he had to wait years and years and make several wrong turns through relationshipland to get here, he knows he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

“Now,” Stede says, “you rushed me over here so... come here, please.” He holds out an arm for Ed to curl back into him, and Ed wastes no more time arguing as he settles into place, the two of them slotting around each other like two perfectly shaped spoon.

Yeah, he waits all day for this, and it’s fucking perfect. 

#my fic #of//md

[wonlouvre]

i still cant get over this joshua hong pic + he replied to soooo many carats that night like he was drunk bec its the first time?!?!? hahaha. id like to req a fluff with a drunk bf!shua drunk texting/calling y/n (or can u use my name Sae 🙈) thank you 🤍🤍🤍

📸 snapshoot #3

pairing: idol!joshua x g.n. reader genre: fluff warnings: eating, alcohol consumption word count: 495

💌: hello! thank you so much for requesting! i hope you forgive me for my poor attempt at writing a drunk shua lol. please enjoy this as a late holiday gift + celebratory joshua scenario! happy birthday joshua! <3

—

Joshua couldn’t celebrate his birthday with you because he had a photoshoot and recording to attend to. It was unfortunate because you thought you could spend it with him for the first time in a while knowing that they have chosen to excuse themselves from performing at any year-end concerts. Well, that didn’t mean work had to stop thus the photoshoot and recording. However, it was also alright because you know he’s enjoying what he’s doing with his best friends. You’re also rest assured that at the end of the day, he will never forget to at least give you a call or most importantly, come home to you. 

It’s past midnight and your phone is buzzing and ringing from multiple notifications. 

jisoo loml [12:04 am]: sae

jisoo  loml [12:04 am]: bae

jisoo loml [12:05 am]: BABE

jisoo loml [12:06]: asrry… SORRY.,..

He’s definitely drunk by how he’s struggling to form correctly spelled words. You giggle at your boyfriend’s attempt to communicate what he’s trying to say. He could just give you a call instead, but you guess the options are not so easy to differentiate from with his hazy mind. 

You let him continue before finding the perfect time to return his messages. As you wait, your phone dings again and lo and behold, Joshua sent an attachment. A drunk yet handsome picture, making your smile widen. 

You finally decide to call him to greet him another happy birthday aside from the love letter you left inside his backpack earlier. 

“Baby!~”

You smile and hold your phone closer to your ear. “How’s my birthday boy?”

“Hmmm,” Joshua dreamily hums and you can imagine him smiling with his eyes closed. “I’m having dinner with Dokyeom right now.”

“You mean having a drink, right?” You correct him and look at the clock placed above your television, reading the time once again. “It’s way past regular hours for a restaurant to be open right now.”

Joshua bursts into a fit of giggles and you couldn’t hold your laughter at the sound. He is so drunk and you can’t wait to tell him about this once he’s sober. You can hear Dokyeom giggling along with him as he says hi to you. 

“I wish you’re here,” Joshua suddenly grumbles and you can tell he’s pouting. “We’re drinking your favorite drink and eating the best food ever.”

“We can always go back and eat there, baby,” you promise with a sigh. You miss him terribly and it has only been a day. “In the meantime, just enjoy, alright? Eat and drink the good stuff for both of us.

“I love you,” he whispers, genuine and sweet. A profession he never fails to say.  “So much.”

“I know and I love you too,” you reply in a heartbeat. “Happy birthday Jisoo.”

Joshua hums in delight at the sound of your voice saying his name. “Thank you. I’ll see you later, okay?”

And see you he did.

#seventeen #joshua #seventeen scenarios #joshua scenarios #seventeen scenario #joshua scenario #seventeen imagines #joshua imagines #seventeen imagine #joshua imagine #seventeen fluff #joshua fluff #seventeen fanfic #joshua fanfic #seventeen drabble #joshua drabble #seventeen x you #svt x you #joshua x you #seventeen x reader #joshua x reader

[chai-tealattae]

Pen Pals

soul mate /ˈsōl ˌmāt/

noun; a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✒️ Pairing: Taehyung x reader

✒️ Genre: Fluff

✒️ Word Count: 2.4k

✒️ Warnings: Swearing

A/N: This is my first fic pls be nice AKSDK

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. Tomorrow was your 21st birthday, the day your soulmate connection would be revealed to you. You’d heard stories from your parents, family friends, and even some of your friends that were a year or two older than you about the different connections. What if you got one that would make it damn near impossible to find them? What if your soulmate was older than you, and already knew, but gave up since you were too young? You sighed and laid flat on your back, staring at the ceiling, giving up on your futile attempts at a decent night's sleep, your mind hot with the different scenarios baking within it.

The next morning, you groaned and begrudgingly swung your legs over the side of your bed, stretching as you opened the curtains, the mid morning sunlight flooding into your room. You cringed slightly at the brightness, your eyes struggling to adjust. Yawning as you walked into your kitchen, deciding on a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Scrolling through your phone as you ate, you smiled as you read the birthday wishes from your friends and family. After replying to as many as you felt like doing, you opened Twitter to see what fresh hell awaited you on your timeline. Surprisingly there wasn't really anything bad being mercilessly tweeted about.

The one thing that caught your eye was the lovely photo on your screen, tweeted a couple hours ago, staring back at you. It was embarrassing how infatuated you were with a certain man by the name of Kim Taehyung. He was the perfect man, in all honesty, by your standards at least. He was devilishly handsome yet charmingly adorable from the tip of his nose down to his toes, the smallest details all adding to the things that caused him to worm his way into your heart.

You smiled as you saved the picture to your camera roll before setting your phone down on the table. Your smile quickly turned into a surprised squeak as you felt an oddly ticklish sensation on your wrist, and you stared down at it in shock. Appearing on your skin before your eyes was writing, but it wasn't just any writing. It was a greeting.

“Hello?”

This must be it, your soulmate bond. You didn’t know anyone personally with this particular bond, but you’d read about it through your countless nights of curiosity and excitement driven research.

You nearly tripped on your own feet as you scrambled to find some kind of writing utensil, eager to respond to the stranger. Not just a stranger. Your soulmate. You felt your heart rate quicken just at that thought. You found a pen on your counter, quickly scribbling a response below their message.

“Hello!” You wrote back. Not 30 seconds later, you felt the tickling sensation again, impatiently tapping your pen on the counter as you awaited their response.

“It’s you! You’re finally getting my notes!” You smiled to yourself, your late night suspicion confirming itself. They were definitely older than you, but hopefully not by much. You’d hate if you left your soulmate waiting for too long for you.

“How long have you been trying?” You wrote, a little smaller this time near the ditch of your elbow, so you wouldn’t take up too much valuable space on your skin. You bit your lip as you felt your skin tingle again, hoping it wasn’t too bad-

“Four years” Four years. Four whole years they’d been writing on themselves with no response. You sighed, feeling awful. Well, at least you knew how old they were. Twenty-five, twenty-six tops, if their birthday was coming up sometime soon.

“I'm sorry you waited so long… today is my 21st birthday” you wrote back, twisting your arm at a slightly awkward angle as you did this. You smiled softly, growing familiar with, and anticipating the feeling as they wrote.

“Happy birthday :)” Was written there. You smiled and wrote your thanks, not really sure how to proceed with finding them. You’d read that there were specific guidelines when it came to the different connections, things you weren’t able to do, since that would make finding your soulmate too easy. Things like their exact location, names, things of that nature. The catch is, you were able to reveal that when you were in the same vicinity. As if trying to find them wouldn’t be hard enough.

Over the next month or so, you’d learned that your soulmate was a man that was born in South Korea (you didn’t know how you’d ever be able to swing a trip there, or vice versa). You learned that he enjoyed drawing, painting, photography, singing and dancing. He was fun to talk to (at least until there wasn't any more space on either of your bodies for more ink). He had a pretty time consuming career from what he told you, but he still liked to draw you pictures to wake up to, or write you little good morning messages. You found yourself becoming incredibly fond of him, even without ever seeing his face.

One day, you found yourself staring at your laptop and phone screens, focusing excruciatingly hard on trying to score tickets to see BTS in your city. After nearly missing the opportunity, and a decent amount of money you’d surely have to pull quite a bit of overtime to make up for, you scored a decent seat for their show in a couple months. Eager to share the news with someone, you wrote on your arm.

“I just got tickets to see BTS!!” You wrote with a shaky hand, your already poor penmanship suffering even more. This would be your first time seeing them, seeing the man you’d had your eyes on for so long.

~~~~~

Taehyung smiled when he felt you were writing or perhaps drawing something for him. He loved reading your short messages about your day, getting to know you. Over the past months he was growing more and more impatient, half tempted to fly to the States and wing it. His heart nearly thudded out of his chest when he read what you wrote.

“I just got tickets to see BTS!!”

Holy shit. This was good. This was great, actually. Now he knew you were a fan. Jimin looked over when he saw the stupid grin plastered on his bandmate’s face.

“What is it, Taehyung-ah?” He asked. Taehyung didn’t answer verbally, just angled his arm so Jimin could see what you wrote. He broke into his own smile. “Oh this is good! Maybe you're closer to meeting her than you thought.” He said, patting the younger man’s back. Taehyung smiled with a nod, you being the only thing occupying his mind at the moment.

~~~~~

It was the day of your concert and you could barely contain your excitement. You barely slept the night before, knowing you would be exhausted, but couldn't find it in yourself to care all too much. You’d been waiting for what seemed like forever for this day, and weren't going to let anything, not even your lack of sleep, ruin it for you.

The day seemed to drag even longer than usual, before you figured it was a good time to start getting ready. You got dressed in an outfit that you purchased specifically for this event, a more affordable version of the Dior outfits Rap Line sported during their performances of Tear, and you put on your TaTa headband as the final touch. You know, so everyone knew specifically who you were there for. You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time, smiling and letting out an excited squeak as you grabbed everything you would need, before you made your way to the venue.

The venue was absolutely packed. There was no way you’d be able to even get any merch without missing half the concert standing in that line. You sighed quietly to yourself and went to your seat, busying yourself with syncing your lightstick so it would light up with everyone else's. You looked around from your seat, in awe about how many people were here. Crazy how many people could fit into one space.

While you waited for the concert to start, you decided to write him a message about how excited you were, and that you would keep him updated throughout the show. You decided to draw a small heart on your hand, in the space between your pointer finger and thumb, just because. You smiled when you saw his words appear on your arm.

“Have fun <3”

Oh, you would. You would have the time of your life. Little did you know, in more ways than one.

~~~~

Taehyung knew you had to be here somewhere. You just had to be. He ran a hand through his perfectly groomed hair, effectively rendering his stylist’s hard work useless. He couldn’t help it. Not when he knew his soulmate was in this building. His mind started to race. What if you didn’t want to be with him? What if you liked one of the other members better than him? What if you couldn’t deal with his lifestyle? He was pacing now, and everyone but him seemed to notice.

“Taehyung-ah, relax. I’m sure everything will work out fine.” Namjoon smiled reassuringly. Taehyung nodded and let out a breath, sitting down. They were called to start getting into position, and Taehyung knew he had to do it, now or he wouldn’t have time, and you would slip through his fingers. He pulled out his pen, writing one word on his forearm in larger than usual letters. He put his pen in his pocket, heading to where his microphone and earpieces were waiting for him, hoping you would see his message.

~~~~~

When the concert started, you could barely focus on anything else other than the men on stage in front of you. You felt the familiar tickle on your arm that your soulmate had written you, though you ignored it for the time being. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of Taehyung, witnessing his incredible stage presence and the massive amount of fan service he was giving was mesmerising, to say the least.

When time for the intermission came around, and the VCRs played on the big screens, you took a moment to see what your soulmate wrote to you. You gasped when you saw the big, capital letters spread along the length of your forearm.

“TAEHYUNG”

There was no way. Absolutely no fucking way. Kim Taehyung was not your soulmate. You had to have been some sort of saint in your previous life to deserve such treatment from the universe. You stared at your arm for a few more seconds in complete disbelief, before taking your pen out of your pocket, writing your name under his on your arm. A minute later, you felt him writing, and you anxiously chewed at your lip as you awaited his response.

“Where are you?”

You hurriedly scribbled your section and seat number, your brain barely able to process what was happening.

Within 5 minutes, there was a man approaching you, asking you to confirm your name. When you did, he told you to come with him, you did without asking any questions. The man led you backstage, and you looked around, frantically trying to find the familiar face in the crowd of stage hands.

When your eyes finally met his, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Was it anxiety? Excitement? A spicy mixture of both? You couldn’t really tell, but there were some things you needed to see. His long legs effortlessly closed the distance between you, until you were standing toe to toe. You looked up at him and he looked down at you, neither of you truly believing you were here at this moment. You studied his face for a moment, then without a word, you took his hands, inspecting them. There it was. You brought your hand up and compared, the tiny heart you drew on your hand matching the one on his. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing the messages you’d written to each other throughout the day.

“Y/N…” He said quietly, only loud enough that you could hear. “I finally found you. You’re even more beautiful than I imagined.”

“I can’t believe it’s you.” You said as you looked up at him, tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.  He smiled and brought his hand to gently cup your cheek, his thumb lightly brushing against your cheekbone.  

“Are you disappointed?” He asked with a chuckle, his tone teasing. You shook your head, letting out a quiet laugh.

“Not even a little bit.” You reassured him, smiling softly. He gave you a toothy grin before leaning down and closing the small space between you, and you couldn’t help but melt when his lips finally met yours. The kiss was soft and careful, as if he was testing the waters. When you pushed slightly against his lips, he deepened the kiss just a little more.

He was the first to pull away, seemingly remembering his surroundings, and you caught the faintest tint of pink creep onto his face. It was almost time for him to go back on stage, and he rested his forehead against yours for a moment, his eyes locked with yours as he intertwined your fingers with his.

“Wait for me? I plan to talk to you for hours, now that I can finally hear your voice.” He said, and you nodded without hesitation. He smiled widely before pressing a kiss to your forehead, jogging off to wherever it was he was needed. You sat on the couch that was there for the members beside the stage, running a hand through your hair. Never in your wildest dreams did you think something like this could happen. Not to you, at least. You felt him writing again, and this time, you paid full attention to the words appearing along your arm.

“I love you.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you read those 3 words, pulling out your pen and writing your response.

“I love you too.” You wrote, carefully, easily readable. Never had you meant something more in your life. You couldn’t wait for him to come back to you, for him to execute his plan. After what felt like a very long time, you couldn’t wait to finally begin your life with the man you happily called your soulmate.

#taehyung x reader #taehyung fluff #taehyung x you #taehyung #Kim taehyung #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fanfiction #bts fic #BTS v #bts #bts fanfic #taehyung fic #kth oneshot #kth #soulmate!au #soulmate!taehyung #taehyung au #bts au

[pasteljeon]

don’t need ur love (m)

❥ pairing: ot7/reader

❥ warnings: some vague descriptions of sex, just really angsty sorry :(

❥ based on this prompt: bts being in a relationship with y/n but then slowly all of them fell out of love with her and with another girl. from @/armyforlifelove :”)

❥ summary: four lessons on love.

❥ notes: exams are finally over so i’m super excited to share my upcoming projects soon <3 i hope you enjoy this little ficlet and lmk what you think!

.

.

.

One. Love is fickle.

There is not one boy, there are seven.

“Jimin, I’m not angry. I don’t blame you. You don’t feel the same for me anymore. I accept that. I can’t do anything about it, and I’m not going to sink down and beg you to love me. I know my own worth. I am worth loving, I am worth being cherished and treasured.” You give his cheek one last fond pat, smiling lopsidedly as you pick up the handle of your suitcase.

His lips are downturned, eyebrows pinched and body stiff.

They watch with mirroring expressions of guilt and sorrow as you give the place a final, lingering sweep. But there is also relief and gratitude. You have never been the petty type, never been vindictive. You have always been the mature one, the fun one, the level-headed one.

You say, “Thank you for the memories. I’ll see you around.”

Jimin opens his mouth, like he’s ready to apologize again, but all that comes out is an uncertain, “You too.”

The penthouse is the same as always, clothes scattered on couches and loveseats and hung over the dining table chairs. Yeontan’s toys lying in a pile next to his little bed. Your mug, your clothes, your books and papers, they’re all gone. It’s like you were never here.

The door shuts quietly.

.

.

.

You fall in love in summer.

They pluck you from the crowd, these gorgeous boys, and they carve a space in your heart and fill it with them, until your chest feels so full and warm.

You’re happy for a long time. Winters pass. Spring blooms, so lovely and sweet and it makes your nose itch. They’re soft and kind and their touch is reverent, sometimes bold and daring and always loving.

Then it stops.

He’s distant, shifty-eyed and avoids you like the plague. Slowly, they all become just as detached. And you realize.

Time’s up.

He cries and cries and begs for forgiveness, he buries his face in your stomach and his hands are shaky and cold. He’s sorry, he sobs. He’s sorry he fell in love with someone else.

Yeah, you think. You’re sorry too, because you could have saved yourself from it if you’d only looked hard enough.

Taehyung is the only one that stays with you that night. You send Jimin away, too anguished and defeated to comfort him.

He’s the last one, the one whose heart still flutters when he talks to you, touches you. But you know. You know that eventually, he will leave too.

He kisses your tears away and he holds you close, murmuring sweet nothings until you finally fall into fitful sleep, and his stomach hurts, hurts so much with the way you’re curled into him, so small and fragile, clutching at his shirt as your eyes flicker with whatever dream you’re having.

And he swears he’ll never let you go, never betray you.

.

.

.

“It didn’t break me. How could it? I loved them so much, yes, but this isn’t the end. It’s not the be all end all. It can’t be. I believe that there’s more out there.” You stare into the dark contents of your drink, your reflection rippling across the surface as you trace the handle absently.

The person across from you watches you with a startlingly intense gaze, fingers crossed as they lean in, arms braced on the table.

“It was like … there was a bullet to my heart and a hole in my chest, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night drowning in anguish and tears burning in my eyes and cheeks wet. Sometimes it’s a struggle to breathe when I think of them, when I do something that reminds me so vividly of them.”

.

.

.

Two. Love is painful.

There were seven boys, now there is only one.

You press your forehead against his. Your voice is soft, your breath is warm and your words are sweet. He thinks he’s dying. Your ache is palpable, your grief burns, lighting a dull pain travels, throbbing and expanding, at the base of his spine.

“It’s weird because it’s not like you wake up one day with this sudden revelation that you’ve fallen out of love. It happens slowly, over a period of time, when the things you did before and the things you liked about your partner no longer holds the same charm. Suddenly, the small things that had made you fall so hard for them are annoying. Their laugh is too loud, too ugly. They leave their utensils in the sink, they forget to separate the lights with the darks They look … ordinary. Just like everyone else you pass on the street. Suddenly, they’re just … somebody. Just not somebody to you.”

“It’s okay, Taehyung. You loved me, and that was enough.”

He sobs out a garble that sounds like your name. He puts a hand over his face, shame and guilt overwhelming him like a tide that threatens to choke the life out of him completely.

You pry them away gently, and you kiss him. It’s wet and uncoordinated, lips slick and salty with your mingled tears.

You stumble into the bedroom, and he presses you against the mattress, hands heavy and hot as he makes love to you one last time. He pours everything into it, everything you’ve been through together, everything he feels for you. Slowly, slowly, because he’s saying goodbye. For real this time, because he can never look back without this weight of failure and guilt.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, he chants, like a broken record, he sears the movement of his lips into your skin and you bear the scar even as you close the chapter for good.

.

.

.

Three. Love changes you.

“But then it starts to fade. The hurt, it lessens with every day that passes. The tightness in your chest loosens and the world starts to regain some of its colour, your body begins to stomach more, your taste buds remind you that food can taste brilliant.”

You find retain old habits and find new hobbies. You reconnect with old friends, make new ones. You go out for dinner, drinks, dessert, the movies, to their houses for barbeque, the skating rink, rollerblading, the occasional club. Not all at once, never in quick succession, but you go when called, go when you ask.

You are reminded that you still have a life outside of the all-consuming romance.

You learn how to draw the perfect wing, you shop, you redecorate, you work, and at the end of the year, you take a two-week vacation to travel somewhere new. You take pictures, write stories, finish your thesis and you graduate.

You enjoy your life.

You still see them, on billboards, TV shows, concerts, YouTube videos, articles, your friends buzz with news about them, at first hesitantly and apologetically, now eagerly and excitedly.

You are proud of them, of where they’ve come, where they are, who they are and what they’ve accomplished. They are an inspiration, legends, and you are grateful to have shared a part of your life with them, to have been born in the same era as them, because this universe makes no mistakes.

And you move on.

You are living.

.

.

.

Four. Love is worth it.

It is worth every tear, the anger and sorrow, the loss and the sacrifice.

And sometimes, the world works in mysterious ways.

Sometimes, you go full circle, only to end up where you should have been from the very beginning.

“Is it too late, have we been through too much, have I lost you? Is it unfair for me to ask if we could start again? The moment you left, I knew … I knew I’d given up something good. Something beautiful and I wasn’t ready to commit, couldn’t see all that I had in front of me. I was foolish, I was … a coward.” He reaches out to touch your hand gingerly, barely a graze, gauging your expression. You don’t move, and he curls his fingers over your palm.

“I thought … I thought that it was natural for me to follow, I thought I felt something for her, but I was wrong, I was so wrong. God, you have no idea how much I hated myself for hurting you like that. I … I love you, I have loved you all this time, and I miss you. I miss your smile, your laugh, the way you hold me, the way you touch me, the way you can comfort me with just your presence. I miss the way you loved me. I missed … you. I miss the colour of your soul.”

“So, I was wondering. If it isn’t too late, if we haven’t been through too much, if I haven’t lost all of you yet, would it be fair to ask you to start over again with me?” His warmth is familiar, his eyes are a burnished gold and the truth is, you are strangers. So much time has passed, he looks a ghost from the past, he talks like him, walks like him, still hates bitter things like him, but he’s not him anymore. You know this because his expression is wiser, he has looked in the mirror and found himself and he is ready to try again. To do better, to dare to become someone better.

But is it too late? Are you ready for the risk of your heart being broken all over again?

Isn’t life a game of risk and reward?

You squeeze his hand gently. “I would like that.”

Taehyung beams. His smile is still boxy, his jaw line sharper, silky hair permed, and it flops over his forehead. He looks older, is older. He pushes the black locks back and strokes his thumb over your knuckles. He’s more comfortable in his own skin, you think his chest is wider, shoulders broader.

“Can I buy you a coffee?”

#smutcentralnet #ksmutclub #btsghostie #jungkook x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #ot7 x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #taehyung smut #ggukienet #poly bts #bts angst #taehyung angst

[taekooktimeline]

Ask

Kayla will focus more on the latest VCR’s while Sara will do so on the one where TK appear under a blue light.

Kayla: Hello! 💜I miss questions like this🥺thank you so much for submitting it, and that means a lot that you appreciate hearing our interpretation of things💜I loved this question so much🥰

Before I start, as always, please keep in mind this is simply my interpretation of things! ☺️

I agree both VCRs seem to heavily hint to deeper things with taekook. Let’s start with Jungkook’s “my time”. He has said consistently this song is about his lost childhood and growing up in the spotlight. However, I do personally think there’s a secondary meaning. I understand some are sensitive to analyzing songs, and no not every song in a member’s solo discography is directed to his lover, but here’s what made me pause - the chorus - “I can’t call ya/hol’ ya” and then, at the end, it changes to “I will call ya/I will hol’ ya”. It fits his struggles in the spotlight - the inability to reach out due to multiple difficulties (busy schedule, saesangs, etc) and eventually he is able to reach out, call, touch. In this instance, the chorus could be considered towards relationships, like a special someone. I don’t normally like Quora, but Helen Xu, an interactor on the site, is very insightful and has said something I agree with. She directly answered a question about “my time”. Below are snippets but I highly encourage reading the entirety of her answer here - https://www.quora.com/Do-you-think-My-Time-by-BTS-Jungkook-is-about-himself-I-respect-and-trust-BTS-what-they-say-but-I-can-t-help-but-feel-that-this-song-is-for-his-significant-other-I-really-hope-so-tho-because-I-love-that-for-him-but 

Keeping in mind this, we can examine the VCR a little more closely. Jk looks at a lot of clocks on the walls.

But only a handful are singled out and on a nightstand close by him. For me, this indicates great importance to these specific clocks.

One I am still working on figuring out is the one to the far left of Jk, right behind the phone. I can’t determine if it says 3:09 or 3:10. If it says 3:09… that’s very interesting, as it’s Yoongi’s birthday. Keep in mind, Yoongi wrote letters to only taekook in 2018 that, in Tae’s own words, made him cry for 10 mins. The members joked Jk’s letter must be a “copy paste” of Tae’s, meaning the same letter:

Jk singled out both Tae’s character, Tata, and Yoongi’s character, Shooky, to be the ones supporting Cooky directly in the ring for his 2020 B21 skit.

If the clock truly says 3:09, this is the second time Jk has directly singled out Yoongi in 2020, as well as Tae when factoring the other clock. Disclaimer - Please note this part is shaky since I can’t determine the time enough to feel confident. 

But what we can deduce - as a lot noticed, 2 of the 3 clocks next to Jk show his birthday, 9/1 - 9:01, and Tae’s 12/30 - 12:30.

The fact these are singled out from the other clocks and are closest to Jk imply to me great importance to him. He picks up the third clock closest to him.

This one has the time - zero o’clock. He holds it up and smiles at it, as if he’s embracing the new time.

Zero o’clock is about starting a new day and forgetting what troubles you. For me …factoring in the two clocks being placed in a prominent position (denoting Tae’s and Jk’s birthdays) + Jk then performs “my time” right after + my suspicions that align with Helen Xu, that the song has a secondary (hidden) meaning …for me, this indicates Jk has found his time. His time has come, he’s ready/at peace and he’s welcoming it. He’s leaving his former struggles behind and will live more freely, less restricted. 

The other part of the VCR was very interesting. Only Taekook paint their faces in black. I spoke to a few different people, who were firm that painting oneself with black indicated stigma, sin, being different, in their culture. It can also be viewed as their shadow, as BTS have discussed this extensively. Tae covers his eye while Jk covers his mouth. This reminded me of “see no evil, hear no evil” in the sense their differences/“sins” are not seen or spoken about by society. Society chooses to ignore what they’ve tried to show and say.

Jk paints his mouth black while Tae paints his eye.

After, both smirk.

For me, this indicates they’re embracing their shadow/difference. They are not bothered any further by society closing their eyes and mouths to their stigma. They have come to terms with it. They will no longer hide in their shadows/darkness. 

They also showed the shadow closing on Tae (going backwards, reverse effect, not fully closing since the door still opens for him) and the light opening on Jk - parallels of each other, and again, they are the only two with this symbolism.

What I find very interesting out of all of this is how taekook are singled out as different from the group. There is a reoccurring pattern. We saw it at MAMA 2019. Both were in blue light then, based on standing order, both were in black. (As a side note - i couldn’t find a capture that encompassed Jin in the below blue/red light):

The others are in white while Taekook are black, still hidden, in their shadow. 

We then saw them be singled out as different again in the On MV. Both were the only ones that had thorns, Tae’s on his neck and Jk’s around his wrist.

Thorns also can be symbolic of sin, just like the black paint in the VCR:

Jk even says he was cast out of society for being different.

My personal thinking which isn't necessarily applicable to the VCRs and heavy hinting: a taekook subunit is coming by the end of the year. We’ve said this consistently since about the spring, as noted in the main timeline, based on the first few vlives, some festa promo shoots and the order of the festa board.

There have been some other, more recent, indicators, but this has been my consistent stance - 1) Taekook 2) Yoonmin + Jin 3) Hobi and Joon. We’ll see! I know some have a differentiating opinion on this based on the BTS YT live with two subunits, not three + photo cards but my stance remains the same from spring. And if you disagree it’s ok! It’s only theory- it can be wrong or right. In asks I feel safer theorizing more freely since we don’t have to place as much importance on being “right”. Either way, even if I’m incorrect on the other subunit pairings, I still think Taekook will be a unit. 

BH is working to normalize - to some degree - TK after years of restricting on camera interactions. Part of normalizing, for some, will be a subunit. I feel strongly it’ll happen for that reason. Whether it’s on a BTS album, or KTH1 or JJK1, I’m not sure. But I think by December or, at the latest January, the subunit will happen on one of those three (if it doesn’t happen in November for BE). 

But I want to make it clear … I don’t think singling out Taekook from the group is solely for their subunit. Whether the subunit is on the BTS album or a mixtape, I feel very strongly we are getting one. But the reoccurring pattern of showing them as different from the other five members, with symbolisms of shadow/stigma/sin (and now embracing that)... to me indicates something even bigger is possibly brewing. I’ve got a lot of mixed thoughts I’m sorting through regarding the company’s stance right now so some of that conflicts and I just need to see in time where things go. 

Please remember this is merely MY opinion / theory on this topic, which is subjective and open to individual interpretation. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong :) theory is theory for a reason and I know some disagree on the subunit part (so please don’t flood the asks with stances - I know this is a varied opinion💜😅). All we can do is wait. 

——————————

Sara: I´ve never paid too much thought to concert VCR´s because I wasn't sure if they had enough substance...but now as I pondered I'm quite excited to share my findings. We all know Taekook were the only ones to have a blue light casted over them right? Well, this is extremely important and I’ll tell you why. 

BTS have made references to the blue & red pill dilemma from matrix on multiple occasions, the first time that I recall being in their MV for “N.O.” where they take the red pill & fight the system.

In sum, if you take the red pill you face the harsh reality while if you take the blue pill you stay in a dream-like illusion, a fake and perfect one. In the music video for “Shadow” you can see Suga singing on top of the scenario covered in blue light while everyone filmed him. This is his persona. The persona, for psychiatrist Carl Jung, was the social face the individual presented to the world—"a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other to conceal the true nature of the individual" = an illusion = blue pill.

  Afterwards, his shadow that was hidden among the crowd takes over and everything turns red as he faces his true hidden self = harsh reality = red pill.

What is the shadow? In short, the shadow is the unknown side. The shadow represents all the personal traits we have ignored, denied, or cut off from ourselves. Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality, the shadow is largely negative. There are, however, positive aspects that may also remain hidden in one's shadow (especially in people with low self-esteem, anxieties, and false beliefs). Being LGBTQ would fit into this last case as it’s not negative in nature. Jung’s concept is that the aim of one’s life, psychologically speaking, should be not to suppress or repress, but to come to know one’s other side, and so both to enjoy and to control the whole range of one’s capacities; i.e., in the full sense, to “know oneself.” That process is called “individuation” and a necessary step is to become aware of the shadow and integrate it’s hidden aspects into the consciousness.

At first the blinking blue light suffocates Tae who can be seen suffering, running around and hugging himself. Something in his interior wants to be set free.

At the end of the VCR Tae is finally standing calmly as he faces his truth, accepting it (red) -

That’s what Sinclair does in the book “Demian” that BTS based their series “Wings” on. He recounts his experiences with the two realms, two worlds of which he was aware at the time—one of darkness, and one of light, one of day and one of night. The realm of day was everything "good", straight, and Christian. The realm of night was the world of scandal and mystery, drunkenness and murder, deceit and illegal activity. The realm of light was the world of Sinclair's parents and sisters. Though living in the realm of light, he was curious about and attracted to the realm of darkness. He was tempted by Demian, who acted like an inner voice leading him to self-discovery and individuation. In the Below pic the black ink represents temptation and “sin”. Jk takes it to his mouth (in this 2016’s trailer for the Wings tour, other members use different symbolism like sinful apples, blindfolds, curtains, etc).

Jk takes a taste of this world of darkness in BS&T. The world of the previously unknown and denied shadows.

Dialogue from “Demian” that played in this scene from BS&T: “He too was a tempter. The evil world with which I no longer wanted to have anything to do”. The balloon is let go which represents lost innocence - surroundings covered in red.

As I said, the shadow is not always inherently negative, but it’s always perceived as such by either society, the individual, or both. The intro for “Wings” was “Boy Meets Evil”. When the lyrics give into the temptation the walls are painted red.

When performing this song in MAMA 2016 we can see the two realms on opposite sides. When we mix them we get a purple color representing the whole, the dichotomy of human nature (which tormented Sinclair until he accepted himself).

What are they trying to convey with this picture below?

Well, other members are letting their shadows be seen, but Taekook are showing us their carefully drafted public persona, hiding their truth. All of them do this to some extent, but this image implies Taekook’s real self drastically contrasts with the illusion that they create by wearing their masks. They have to conceal more than the rest, even if they already accepted themselves.  What you see is a pretty lie = blue. They only show us their “good” side. Just like “Fake Love’s” lyrics (a song directed to army): “Mold a pretty lie for you”, “Try to erase myself and make me your doll”.  Also, In Singularity Tae sings about silencing his voice and trapping himself into a frozen BLUE lake.

He wears a mask. The red part of his head (shadow, hidden truth) has an earring that reads “loved”. Forbidden, secret love?

Yoongi recently talked about this topic while In The Soop. He said that he talked with Bang pd nim and that, if someone has to do it (for a greater good), he himself would choose the red pill. He would sacrifice. The matrix is an ongoing theme.

About the latest VCR’s where TK have black paint, I basically agree with Kayla. They were introducing the shadow-themed section of the concert so every member was portraying the shadow in different ways but it’s definitely interesting that Taekook represented the shadow with the exact same symbolism put back to back - arguably the most visually impactful out of them - placed near the end of the VCR as it reaches it’s peak in intensity before slowly falling into quietness again. Taekook share a common aspect of themselves that is considered negative and carries a stigma and therefore - as their blue public colors indicate - is part of their red hidden shadow. They really highlighted Taekook’s scenes, so it indicates their shadow is of greater significance. It’s a bigger deal. As mentioned earlier, the black ink is related to sin.

Now JK’s VCR that introduced his song. “My time” by Jk is certainly about his crazy life while growing up in the spotlight. It’s not only about his lost childhood, but also about a “limited love”, losing the capacity to love freely during his teens and beyond. The chorus - the part of the song that delivers the main message - sings about a relationship with many physical limitations. The chosen words are pretty romantic: hold, touch, etc (discard fans as it’s a personal song). Since we talk about the spotlight, it can be understood that they can’t do those things while having eyes on them. He says “happy that we met each other” so it’s not about his family. He’s waiting for “the time” they’ll be able to love freely which he has promised will come (“I will hold ya and you know”). If we take the previous VCR’s into account it’s quite suspicious that Taekook’s clocks are placed right next to each other in the most important spot angle-wise. It does seem like a connection between Jk’s song and Taekook. 

What does all this ultimately mean? What’s the purpose of showing these hints? Well, not sure. Could be related to them coming out in the future and finding their time to live their lives as a couple without pretending, taking off their masks and revealing their truth. For the time being a TK subunit would be neat though :P 

#discussions #taekook #taekooktimeline #theories #vcrs

[wayhavnsfinest]

Musical Madness

Pairing: Vexx x Traveler

I have no idea why but Vexx is so hard for me to write for.  I’ve struggled to figure out what to name this little drabble. If you can think of a title please share. I will give you credit for the title. I hate this one. 

Vexx has been many things in his life. Orphan, gang member, mercenary, now he’s a guard. Not just any guard, but the guard of the youngest Peg’asi. When he took the job; he figured princess duty would be a glorified babysitting gig. Easy stuff like escorting her to various lessons and engagements. He told himself that he wouldn’t get attached after all it’s just a job and jobs can end instantly. He’s learned that lesson many times over, which is why he now has a set of rules he carefully follows. 

Rule 1- don’t get attached. 

Rule 2- always have an exit strategy.

Rule 3- always carry a backup knife.

The list of rules goes on and one. He figured it would be easy to stick to those rules with his guard gig. Turns out, it’s not. He finds himself wanting to make the princess smile at every chance. He finds himself sneaking her out of the castle to go to parks and museums. All those carefully curated rules out the window, much like how they’re currently exiting the palace. 

“I’m not sure why you’ve insisted on leaving this way.” He comments as he shimmies down the side of the palace with the princess.

“I saw it in an old human movie. This is how the teenagers used to sneak out of their parents’ house. I thought it would be fun to try.” She smiles at him and damn it, if he didn’t almost lose his grip.  Her smile always leaves him breathless. Her smile isn’t perfect, it’s crooked with the left side going up slightly higher than the right, her eyes crinkle… shaking his head he focuses on finding footholds so he can scale the castle walls safely. 

“We could have snuck out the back door that is also popular in those movies.” Vexx could quote most of those old human movies because she loved them so much. They would watch them whenever she was having a bad day, which unfortunately was more often than not lately. Her uncle was killed and her father was even more stressed out, causing Nerissa to be even busier; which left less time for his princess to spend with her sister. Finally reaching the ground, he holds out his arms for the princess to fall the remaining few feet into his arms. Hell if they’re going to act out an old movie, they’re going to do it right. Sensing what he is doing the princess falls gracefully into his arms. 

“My hero” She giggles and kisses his cheek as he sets her down. 

“Where do you want to go today?”

“Well, there’s this band….”

“No.”

“Vexx, Please!” She pouts and looks at him. 

“If it was any other band, I would say yes. But their music is just SO bad.”

“You just have terrible taste in music.” 

“I have excellent taste in music.”

“You have an old man’s taste in music.”

“Fine. We’ll go, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when we get there and the concert is cancelled because no one is there.” The comment got him a rude gesture from the princess’s right hand. The two of them leave the palace ground until they are far enough to hail a ride without being recognized. 

The concert is loud and bright and crowded. Vexx has never felt older. He doesn’t understand how the princess enjoys this music so much. It’s just noise, it has no soul. He suffers through it for the sheer look of joy on his princess’ face. 

The princess dances, spins and jumps in time with the music. She has never had so much fun before. This is her first concert, it’s even more special with Vexx there with her. The opening acts are even better than she expected. She has to do a double take when she sees the lead singer, he looks just like Vexx. She turns to look at Vexx, his reaction to the lead singer is priceless. She has never seen him look so annoyed before. 

The concert ends and Vexx has never been more thrilled to leave a concert. The princess and him finally make it out of the crowded arena when Vexx hears someone running after them. He turns wielding his back up knife in his left hand pushing the princess behind him with the right. 

“OH EM GEE!!!” 

Several screaming girls come rushing toward him. Deciding they probably aren’t after the princess he puts away his knife and walks away with her. 

“Carver Michaels!! Look at me!!”

“Who the fu-” Vexx turns around to see a large group of women surrounding him with holo cameras.

“Take a picture with me!”

“Sign my shirt!”

“Can I have your autograph?”

“I want a selfie!”

Vexx’s eyes practically bulge out of his head. The princess is unable to contain her laughter. She’s shaking trying to suppress it. 

“I’m glad you find this hilarious.” He shoots her a look, then returns his gaze to the group of fans. “I’m sorry ladies, I’m not who you think I am.”

The fans don’t believe him and continue to pester him. Vexx makes a very graceless decision to grab the princess and take off running with her. The two of them weave through the crowds, losing the fans in the process. 

Rounding the corner into an alleyway. He finally manages to get them to a place where they can stop to catch their breaths. Panting he looks over at the princess to see how she is holding up. She’s doubled over laughing. 

“This is hands down the best night of my life.” She manages to get the words out between breaths of air. 

Chalking it up to adrenaline Vexx grasps her face between his hands he kisses her hard and passionate. The princess leans into it and closes her eyes and surrenders herself to the kiss.

Slowly releasing her from the kiss, Vexx looks down at her before he can explain himself, she busts out in a fit of giggles. 

“I love you Carver Michaels” 

“You are incorrigible!” Throwing his hands up in the air he walks off to find a ride for the two of them back to the palace.

#a6 fanfic #andromeda six fanfic #andromeda six #andromeda six vexx #vexx x traveler #a6 vexx #vexx serif

[musicollage]

Arve Henriksen. Towards Language, 2017. Rune Grammofon. ( Guitars, Electronics – Eivind Aarset )  ~ [  Album Review |      1) Pitchfork  +  2) All About Jazz  +    3) Headphone Commute   ]

1) Arve Henriksen makes jazz for people who like ambient music. This might sound like an unintentional insult—the Norwegian trumpeter is well trained and celebrated in jazz circles, and he often performs among Scandinavia’s most prominent younger players, such as Christian Wallumrød—but it’s also hard to deny. Towards Language, Henriksen’s ninth album under his own name, begins with a slumbrous murmur of bass and an unfurling trumpet theme, and this mesmeric register never wavers throughout the album. The melancholy saunter of Henriksen’s lines is isolated and sculpted by glimmering, whirring atmospheres full of emptiness and portent. Testing different ways to contrast eloquent material and enigmatic medium, the record plays like some lost collaboration between Wynton Marsalis and Brian Eno circa Ambient 4: On Land.

Henriksen’s long association with free-improv supergroup Supersilent and its influential label, Rune Grammofon, were his gateways to esteem in circles beyond jazz. But he has earned his wider attention with a trumpet tone so communicative it’s almost psychic, which he has described as being modeled on the breathy, insinuating timbre of a wooden flute. *Towards Language *would be the perfect album title imaginable for Henriksen if he hadn’t already made one called Chiaroscuro. Sometimes augmented by his ethereal vocalizations, his instrument always seems on the verge of speaking, writing a smoky legato calligraphy on the air. If the language is obscure, the emotions are instantly legible—romantic seclusion, piercing beauty, and a steadfast determination.

Henriksen is joined by Jan Bang and Erik Honoré, two old friends who’ve appeared on some of his greatest albums (Chiaroscuro, Cartography, Places of Worship), as well as the ECM-affiliated jazz guitarist Eivind Aarset. Together they gin up brooding, minimalist chamber music in which the simplest melodies whisper of unfathomable depths of feeling. The outstanding “Groundswell” is a dusky jungle seething with hidden birds and snakes, slow trap claps, and lapping waves of mysterious tonality, before Henriksen fills it up with his leafy curlicues and looping vines. “Demarcation Line” is a showpiece for his signature physics, how he swoons from interval to interval and bends pitches so sweetly it almost cuts.

*Towards Language *is also infused with a deep sense of history, like an excavation standing open in layers. It’s both personal—the atmosphere of “Hibernal” is tuned by a rusty harbor-bell clank, a device heard as far back as 2007’s Strjon, which suits Henriksen’s noir-ish style so well—and cultural. Album closer “Paridae,” turns a traditional song in the Kven language of Henriksen’s ancestral northern Norway (sung by Anna Maria Friman of Trio Mediaeval) into a waterfall leading to another world. Henriksen creates the feeling of an opaque jazz album you can walk right into, all timbre and feel instead of time and modality, the edges and angles sublimated into aching curves. You don’t need to be able to identify a head melody or count off arcane rhythms, but only to know the way you feel when you see fog slowly seeping through a valley, or smoke curling off a cigarette in the lonesome glow of a streetlight.

2) Following hot on the heels of Rimur (ECM, 2017), Towards Language is Arve Henriksen's second album of 2017 and brings his tally of releases to ten in the past five years. One of the more remarkable things about Henriksen is that even though the quantity of releases increases, their quality remains as high as ever. All of the hallmarks that make his music distinctive are still in place, as good as ever—the haunting melodies, soaring falsetto vocals and exquisitely beautiful trumpet. His sound is as individual as a fingerprint, the true mark of a great player.

Studio-recorded over two days in August 2016, Towards Language consists of nine tracks, of which the longest runs for just seven-and-a-half minutes. Such concentrated, economical music has typified Henriksen's output on such classic albums as Places of Worship (Rune Grammofon, 2013) and Chiaroscuro (Rune Grammofon, 2004). Henriksen has always stressed the importance of his collaborators in the creative process and, as on those two albums, here he is again joined by the team of Jan Bang and Erik Honoré of Punkt, the presence of whom is practically a guarantee of success. As before, the pair display their knack of constructing uncluttered environments that perfectly frame Henriksen and allow him to be heard to best advantage. Guitarist and electronicist Eivind Aarset is also present on every track and was involved in writing each one; he adds subtle shading without in any way deflecting the limelight from Henriksen.

Anna Maria Friman of Trio Mediaeval (with whom Henriksen recorded Rimur) sings on the album's closing track, "Paridae," a traditional "kven" or ancient Nordic song, her voice and Henriksen's trumpet combining in a perfect blend. On other tracks, it is left to his own voice and trumpet to conjure up an ambiguous mix of emotions that include melancholy and wistfulness. The end result is yet another stunningly beautiful set from Henriksen.

3) So here is how it goes… In terms of extended control of a single solo instrument, we’ve got Nils Frahm on the piano, Hildur Guðnadóttir on the cello, Mario Batkovic on the accordion, Andrea Belfi on the drums, and Arve Henriksen on the trumpet. [Please don’t all at once jump on me and point out other artists that I’ve missed or misplaced – this was more of a compliment and recognition of the above, versus an offensive statement to the ones I have omitted. Deal?] If you’ve been following these pages, and listening to the music contributing towards the evolution of this Norwegian trumpet player, then, at least you should agree, that, when it comes to breathy brass works, where the instrument completely merges with the voice, Henrikson is unlike any other.

I last visited with Henrikson’s music, released once again by Rune Grammofon, back in 2014, with Places Of Worship which derived its inspiration from the literal places of worship, sharing ten tone poems set around holy places. On his ninth album, Towards Language, we find this “major representative of a golden generation of Norwegian jazz musicians” supported by his longtime collaborators, Jan Bang and Erik Erik Honoré, as well as the “ECM-associated guitarist extraordinaire“, Eivind Aarset, exploring the language of music through the partnership with others. Improvised music, and in particular jazz music, has always established its own set of musical words, phrases, and sentences, exchanging ideas between each performer through predefined queues. A great example of that, of course, is none other than Miles Davis, who often recorded his sessions (like the Bitches Brew in 1969) without much advance notice or direction to the musicians.

“To express something on your own can be quite challenging at times.” says Henrikson, “I have for years been in creative collaborations with musicians and producers that have encouraged and inspired me. With this help and inspiration to discover new sounds and music, I have struggled and made my way to gradually be able to create some sort of language and a way of telling stories with my trumpet and singing. They have all coloured and gradually transformed me through different artistic timezones that I have passed through. All the information, concerts, discussions and impressions have had a significant impact on the process of gradually coming closer towards the core of communication through music.”

It’s fair to admit that I fail to recognize whether or not some of the music on Towards Language is improvisational or not, but what I can clearly hear is a conversation between the instruments sharing the same story. This conversation, of course, can not happen without a predefined lingo, without question and answer, without the space set to say something and, in turn, the space left to listen. It’s probable, that as an active listener, conveyed through this musical account, I, too, become part of the language, interpreting tales, narration, and chronicles, as they fit into my own sound-colored world, where certain notes trigger a feeling, a memory, or a response deeply buried inside my own psyche. For this to succeed, the artist’s ability to properly communicate must be splendid. And as a listener, I’m part of the music, of course, because, without language, the message is lost.

#jazz #experimental music #electronic music #arve henriksen #eivind aarset #rune grammofon #jazz trumpet #2017 #2010s #2010s jazz #pitchfork #all about jazz #headphone commute #review

[rushingheadlong]

Okay, so here’s some longer ramblings about my Thoughts on Brian’s use of Queen songs in his solo tours… focusing mainly on the Back to the Light tour here because by the time Brian toured for Another World he had a VERY different opinion about and relationship with Queen (in that I think he had reached a much healthier place with regards to the band than where he was in the early 90s).

Also specific tour info and setlists are all mainly from QueenConcerts.com, I’m not citing anything specifically in-text this time, sorry.

So I’ve talked about some of this before, but basically two big things to keep in mind here are that:

Back to the Light was Brian’s first solo album and first solo tour. (The Star Fleet Project doesn’t count, as he never toured with it, never recorded it with the intention of releasing it, and the album liner notes literally say that it’s not a solo album.) While obviously he had experience touring with Queen, touring solo was an entirely new experience for him with challenges he hadn’t really faced before.

Brian really wanted nothing to do with Queen after Freddie’s death and not just in an immediate, “I’m grieving and we need to figure out how the band is moving forward,” sort of way either - Roger and John were the ones to start sorting out the remaining tapes to make Made in Heaven because Brian refused to help at first. (Yes some of that was because of the BttL tour, but he started helping between tour legs in 1993… there was no reason he couldn’t do the same in 1992 except he just didn’t want to.)

And because of both of those things I think Brian was caught in this place of needing to distance himself from Queen (to give himself space to grieve, to find himself as a solo musician, to build a new identity for himself in the wake of everything that happened in the late 80s/early 90s…) and also recognizing that he couldn’t do that for a wide variety of reasons.

For one thing, Brian didn’t really have enough solo material to fill out an entire setlist. Take a look at a typical setlist from the BttL tour:

23 songs (+ the band introduction) and a 2-song encore. Of those 23 songs, 8 were Queen songs, though not always the full song. The remaining 15 songs included 3 separate solos (not counting Last Horizon) and two cover songs (1812 overture and Since You’ve Been Gone). The encore is another cover song and a Queen song.

(Of the BttL songs that he didn’t play regularly on his tour, Rollin’ Over is technically a cover to begin with, Nothin’ But Blue and Just One Life are both slower songs which Brian seems to have limited in his setlist, and the last is I’m Scared which he may have had trouble adapting to be able to play it live, given the “Chaos Karaoke” section in the middle.)

The point being, that Brian really didn’t have enough solo material to flesh out an entire 1.5-2 hour concert and at this point he didn’t even have enough covers ready to perform like he would for Another World. Picking Queen music to supplement his setlist was the most logical choice to go with.

Brian also would have been in the position where he was simply known best for his work with Queen, and there’s some evidence that he struggled with getting enough recognition for the early legs of the BttL tour. The South American leg in 1992, for example, was only 5 concerts and then for portions of 1993 Brian was actually touring in support of Guns N’ Roses rather than headlining the shows himself. (The first North American leg in early 1993 was also apparently rather poorly promoted.)

So Brian may very well have realized that he needed to lean into the Queen fans who had followed him over to his solo career, at least to some extent - and this in itself might have put him in a difficult position because not only did he not want to tie himself to Queen at this point in time but he probably also had to tread carefully to make sure that he wasn’t seen as trying to “profit” from Freddie’s death or music that was by-and-large considered to be Freddie’s in origin.

And he seems to have handled that by choosing to play songs that he wrote himself. Love of My Life is an obvious exception but he clearly acknowledges during concerts that he’s playing it for Freddie, and even so that song had morphed into a Brian-and-Freddie song over the years anyway just by virtue of how it was performed live over the years. He also plays a snippet of Bohemian Rhapsody, but everything else from Queen on that “typical” setlist are his songs. Even one-off Queen songs are generally his, or else just small snippets of someone else’s song (like the Mustapha clip). No one can say that he’s trying to “profit” off of Queen and Freddie if he’s technically still playing only his own music.

(If we want to veer off into absolute baseless wild speculation for a moment... I do wonder if Brian might have had legal concerns about playing Queen’s music. I don’t know anything about Roger’s work with The Cross, but the BttL tour took place before any of Roger’s true solo tours so this would have been the first time the question of playing Queen music after the “end of Queen” came up. And, unfortunately, it does happen that when groups disband that there are sometimes legal restrictions put in place on who can play what songs on solo projects.)

(I’m not saying that this was something that happened with Queen and, frankly, I don’t think Roger or John would have cared if Brian had wanted to play “their” songs... but I can see Brian, who was already in a very unstable place with regards to his mental health, building this up to be an issue in his own mind and letting his anxiety and depression run wild with it, and ultimately deciding to head off any issues by only playing “his” songs instead.)

Stepping back into things we have proof for, for the most part Brian chose songs of his that were faster and heavier and put them in places in his setlist where he can “power through” them without needing to pay them any special attention or really acknowledge that these are Queen songs to begin with. This lets him keep the energy of his concerts up in general (important for gigs where he was the support act) but also lets him trade on Queen fans’ recognition of songs like Now I’m Here and Hammer to Fall - these songs are known in a way that his solo work wasn’t (and still isn’t), so people who came to his shows to see “Queen’s guitarist” get moments strategically interspersed throughout the concert where they’re given high-energy songs that they know and can enjoy.

And the placement of the Queen songs is very strategic. Brian doesn’t go more than three songs (or 3 songs and a solo) without playing a Queen song, and he ends his concerts with the upbeat and well-recognized Hammer to Fall so even if people had felt “meh” about his solo work they get to leave the concert with a favorite Queen song fresh in their minds instead.

I also think that despite his feelings about Queen and the fact that Brian very clearly struggled with how to handle his obligations to the band in the wake of Freddie’s death, there was probably some amount of comfort in playing familiar songs during this period of time - not only as a way of dealing with his grief, but also to give himself moments where he needed to be less “on” because he already knew these songs so well after years of playing them (and simply by virtue of the fact that he wrote them himself).

If you watch enough of Brian’s solo concerts you can start to notice that there are moments where he tends to forget that he is the lead singer now. He starts wandering the stage during the guitar bits and almost doesn’t make it back to his mic in time to sing again, especially during the Queen songs. And I think for Brian there might have been a feeling of needing his solo songs to be “perfect” because (in his eyes) that was going to make-or-break his career as a musician after the end of Queen, but he could be lax with Queen’s stuff because that’s who he was and he knew the fans would be happy enough to hear him nail the Hammer to Fall guitar solo that it wouldn’t matter if he almost missed singing the next verse.

And, like I mentioned before, these early tours were difficult. He was touring with a new band, he was a support act again instead of the headliner (which meant adjusting his set to fit the limited time he had), he had technical difficulties, he was touring with a new and probably temporary guitar tech… As much as he wanted to stand on his own, I’d imagine these tours were probably incredibly stressful especially in the beginning, and having a few moments to just play music that he knew like the back of his hand was probably a godsend for him.

But at the end of the day, Brian still had an incredibly conflicted relationship with Queen at this time. His cover of God (Dream Is Over) is literally about the ending of Queen and includes the line, “I don’t believe in being Queen anymore, I just believe in me - just you guys and me.” He very strongly felt that Queen was over and he wasn’t in a position where he could handle any obligations to the band, and he was deeply mourning not only his friend’s death but the loss of something that brought him immense happiness over the last 20 years of his life.

On the one hand, the very specific and calculated ways in which Brian incorporated Queen songs into his solo tours is reflective of his attempt to distance himself from the band - but at the same time, Brian has said that returning to touring was like “therapy” for him after Freddie’s death, and I do think that by trying to be strategic about how he used Queen in his solo shows he inadvertently created a situation where he could work through his feelings about the band in an extremely controlled and positive environment.

Rather than being left to flounder and find a way forward on his own, he could go out and perform a carefully curated selection of Queen tracks to crowds that would respond positively and remind him that this music was still loved. He could play Love of My Life for Freddie and get it sung back to him and share his pain and grief with others so he wasn’t alone with it. He could give it his all performing his new music and then take a step back with a Queen song and just breathe and recognize everything that was good and was working for him in those moments.

And I think the fact that the tours were a source of healing for him is a large reason why he started working with Roger and John on Made in Heaven in the fall of 1993, even though he continued touring through mid-December, especially considering that he didn’t join them between tour legs earlier in 1992-1993. Granted, he probably would have eventually joined them regardless but I definitely think that if the BttL tours hadn’t been as therapeutic as they were he would have joined them later, and we probably would have gotten a very different album for Made in Heaven than what the final product did end up being.

(As a final sidenote, it’s worth noting that during his Another World tours Brian had roughly the same ratio of Queen songs to other material, except the bulk of Queen songs were played in one large chunk in the middle of his shows rather than strategically spread throughout the setlist. It seems like rather than building his concerts so slower songs were bookended by faster/heavier songs, he chose to put Queen songs in the middle surrounded by his solo material and covers - possibly because he didn’t feel like he needed to rely on Queen’s material to get him through a show, but he still wanted to acknowledge that music and that chapter of his life especially now that he was in a better place at least in terms of his relationship with Queen.)

#brian may #text #ramblings #anyway I think this is most of my thoughts about this? #there's a lot going on here but I mean it's Brian I always have a lot to say about him lmfao #brian #bmb

[guysinleatherpants]

10 Situations That Give Guys the Perfect Excuse to Wear Leather Pants

If you follow this blog, chances are you appreciate the aesthetic of a guy in a nice pair of leather pants. Some of you have probably thought about purchasing your own pair, or maybe you have already. The challenge is finding the right time and place to wear them. 

Make no mistake- leather pants are a bold fashion choice for men and they can carry certain stigmas. But in the right context they can make you appear cool, confident, and forward-thinking. Here I’ve compiled some awesome settings that give you the perfect excuse to wear leather pants. 

1) Going out to the bar

At any given bar on a Saturday night, you’ll see a wide variety of outfits- many of which you wouldn’t see at say, a Sunday morning Bible study. This is a time to step out a little bit and try something a little bold and maybe even sexy. 

If it makes you nervous you can always have a drink or two to take the edge off. Just make sure not to rip your pants on the dance floor, either. 

2) Taking a joy ride on the motorcycle

This is probably the most stereotypical example I’ll give here, but riding a motorcycle gives you the perfect excuse to wear leather gear of all kinds, including pants. 

Even if you walk into the most mundane of situations- the grocery store, for example, people will be quick to understand if they see you just got off a motorcycle. Riding a motorcycle and wearing leather pants can give you a rugged, masculine mystique. Just be careful and only get into riding if you are fully comfortable. 

3) Hanging with some artsy people

If motorcycles aren’t your thing, but art exhibits or fashion shows are, then wear your leather pants along when you go out. There’s bound to be lots of open minded people who will appreciate a bold aesthetic and even be more drawn to you as a result. 

4) Cosplay conventions

Have trouble fitting leather pants into your typical wardrobe? Fear not! You can easily incorporate them into a costume at a cosplay convention or renaissance faire. Plenty of superheroes and fictional characters wear leather-type gear and this could be a simple opportunity to wear them. 

5) LGBT events

Few people in the LGBT community will judge a man for wearing leather. The LGBT community has long had a tradition of a leather fetish scene and even if that isn’t your thing, plenty of guys will appreciate your fashion choice. 

Pride Month can be a great time to throw on some leather pants, but be sure to check the weather first because wearing leather pants in the middle of the boiling June sun could make for a sweaty situation. 

6) Working at the office* 

*with some major caveats.

This one might be a less conventional choice but in the right context it can work out. I’ve long been a fan of the look of leather pants with a shirt, tie, and perhaps a blazer. Incorporating them into a business casual look gives off this I’m-professional-but-still-cool-as-fuck vibe. 

Pulling off this look HEAVILY depends on your office culture. Get a feel for what other people wear to your office first before trying this out- it’s probably not a good idea to wear them on your first day on the job. Lots of companies are going with more relaxed dress codes and if you work for say, a design firm or fashion company, this type of creative look could help you stand out in a good way. 

7) Dressing Up for Halloween

Halloween is the one day of the year where it is socially acceptable to wear whatever the hell you want- so just go for it! The Terminator, Mad Max, or a generic pirate or vampire are some easy choices that will make wearing leather pants super easy. Of course, you could always do something a bit more interesting like the above pic of the Super Mario Bros. 

8) Going on a date

Leather pants can add a sultry romanticism to your outfit so what better time than going out on a date? Don’t let yourself fall trap to the silly stereotypes of Ross from Friends struggling to get out of his leather pants while his girlfriend is in the other room. Leather pants are easy to wear and putting them on is a lot like putting on any other pair of pants. 

Of course you run the risk of your date thinking you’re being a bit cheesy, but why not let your freak flag fly and see what they think? Many people will be enchanted by the sexual confidence displayed by a man wearing leather pants. 

9) Hitting up a concert

Long a staple of the rock scene, you can easily blend into a crowd at a concert when wearing a pair of leather pants. Of course there are many different genres of music where leather pants on guys are common- hip-hop, rap, and even country. 

10) Getting tipsy at a party

Parties are the last place where it’s best to be well-behaved. Live on the edge a bit and wear your leather pants to a party. Particularly on special occasions like New Year’s Eve, wearing leather pants can be a fun, fashionable way of marking the occasion with an outfit that’s far from conservative. 

And just for kicks, where to definitely NOT wear leather pants:

-Your grandma’s house. Unless of course she’s a cool, punk-rock type granny. 

-To church. The potluck ladies might not approve. 

-Job interviews. Best to err on the side of caution for that one. 

-A PETA rally. Just don’t...

#leather pants #mens leather pants #leather trousers #guys in leather pants #leather pants for men #mens fashion #leather #leather jeans #menswear

[yanak324]

1. Favorite hobby? 2. New Gendrya fics that you like? 3. What makes you smile? I'm a huge fan of yours!

Ahh! This is a fun one. Thank you, anon for this and for the sweet words

1. Favorite hobby? 

Aside from writing, my favorite hobby is definitely live music. Ever since I can remember, music has been a comfort of mine. I can turn to it when I’m sad and it will cheer me up, I can turn to it when I’m happy and it’ll pump me up. I can turn to it when I feel nothing at all and it will, without fail, invoke some sort of emotion. Nothing feeds my soul like concerts. Specifically, outdoor music festivals. I am fortunate enough to go to one at least once a year and every time, it feels like therapy to me. So yea, I’d say live music is absolutely my fave thing I find joy in!

2. New Gendrya fics.

Okay, so this just gives me a perfect opportunity to flail about some incredible stories I’ve read recently that absolutely need more hits. I’ve tried to keep these limited to stories that *I’ve* recently discovered, so they could have been written a while ago. I’ll stop rambling now.

A Stag in an Ill-Fitting Coat by quenchycactusjuice

I am so glad I gave this story a chance. A post-canon au that thrusts Gendry right in the middle of it all. One of the best Gendry centric stories I’ve read in this fandom, and let’s face it, there aren’t enough of them. Also features amazing fight scenes, his absolute grumpy self, and of course, Arya Stark being a BAMF as usual. Check it out. You won’t regret it.

rewrite the stars by @anupturnedboat

Okay, this is one of my favorite AUs. Set during the Reconstruction Era in the U.S., it’s basically a different take on how Arya and Gendry could still cross paths and be some version of a traveling family. It’s mainly Gendry POV and it’s just...sigh, so well written. My rec does not do this story justice, because some of the descriptions in this still take my breath away days, weeks after I’ve read them. If you’re in the mood for something a little different that still has perfect characterizations, this is the story for you.

Consonant by InuChanFan

This story simply does not have enough hits/comments/kudos for how incredible it is. It’s a bit of a canon divergence post-S7 but it still does such a remarkable job maintaining that theme of “oh shit we gotta prepare, the dead are coming” while also highlighting the absolute purity of Arya and Gendry’s relationship. I mean...yeah, it’s one of those fics that makes you simmer at how stupidly everything was handled in S8, but also gives you hope, because you know it’s going to be done so well in this fanfic. Definitely a must read if you miss good canon and need a Gendrya pick me up. Bonus: Gendry POV again. I’m sensing a pattern haha.

for whatever its worth by @necromantiaes

I’ve ranted about this story before, but I cannot tell you how much I love it. It makes me grin like an idiot everytime I think about it for two reasons. 1. It’s a slightly different modern au fwb take, and i won’t spoil why exactly, other the fact that A and G don’t actually know each other’s true identities in it. and 2. It has hands down some of the best Gendrya banter I’ve ever read. I would argue it’s the gold standard of Gendrya banter and anyone who loves that, will absolutely melt into a huge puddle reading this. Also, there’s such a hot sex scene in this (two actually!) that make me want to write smut, and that happens very rarely. So yeah, three reasons to read this. Doooo it.

Unbless You by my absolute muffin @ohnoshefell

Nobody does fluff like my lady here, but what’s more surprising about this is how much *tension* there is in this story. Gendry is really struggling between his feelings for Arya and doing the right thing here, while Arya struggles with accepting that she may never see her family again. It’s a beautiful Brotherhood AU and I absolutely admire the hell out of how she balances all the other side characters. It really made me miss the books!

switch by @watersandwolves

Reading the update to this late last night made me go to sleep with a smile on my face! There’s a beautiful paragraph in this latest chapter where Arya comes to certain realizations about her feelings for a certain someone and it’s just...sigh, reminds me of why I read fanfiction!! Also, bonus for everyone having sexual fluidity and being open about it AND Podrick being an absolute genius and playing matchmaker with our fave pair. No spoilers but GO READ THIS SEXINESS.

3. What makes me smile?

I’m pretty sure my extensive rant above proves that good writing makes me smile...and it does! But also kind words from anons like you, because let me tell you, without the support of some peeps in this fandom, I would still be staring a blank laptop screen unable to write a single word of a story that’s now up to 75K and shows no signs of slowing down. Finding a community of likeminded peeps has really made a difference for me, and why I sport a huge grin on my face most days

#gendryaficrecs #asks #anonasks #gendryafamisbest

[imhereforbvcky]

Vivid - Part 5

Masterlist  -  Series Masterpage

Summary: Have you ever met someone who completely embodies a color? Not an aura, not synesthesia. Just… They walk into the room and when you spot them, you think to yourself, “Wow. That is a walking hurricane.” When Clint Barton serendipitously meets a free-spirited stranger, he sees red. Chapter: After you turn up unexpectedly on Clint’s mission, he tries to set things right, despite the risk.

Warnings: Swearing, mission violence.

Word Count: 2595

A/N: Okay, guys! I’m out of town still so I’m including the tags here on the original post, hopefully they work. Also, sorry this is all one big chunk. 😬

“What about him?” you asked, nodding toward a guy who passed by you with an acid wash black denim vest and a mohawk so tall you didn’t think you could reach the ends of it on tip-toes. “Is he cute?”

One friend shrugged, leaning a little to follow his path through the crowded warehouse. Another pulled a face: somewhere between a scowl and distress. Mostly scowl.

“No honey, you’re not a teenager trying to piss off your parents.”

You shrugged and nodded, chasing the bright red straw of your vodka soda. “I can’t tell. Concerts cloud my judgment. I get to having fun and I just… I don’t know, that anything-could-happen feeling takes over, ya know?”

“Yeah, that has nothing at all to do with the vodka,” Nina rolled her eyes.

This was not her scene. She was reserved and structured and liked her evenings well planned – guaranteed enjoyment.

You, meanwhile, were all spontaneity and effortless near-chaos. Nina wouldn’t even know what a pop-up concert was, much less consider attending one. But you’d dragged her along because you loved the idea and you damn well needed a night out.

The ongoing silence between you and Clint had grown into an icy dagger. You hadn’t heard from him since you’d run out of his apartment in a whirl of ice cream and shame. You wanted to be angry, but mostly it just hurt.

“Anyway, why are you prowling for punks?” Nina asked. “I thought you were seeing that guy? The midnight coffee guy.”

A more exaggerated groan had never been heard. Your head hung back on your shoulders just a moment before you dropped your forehead heavily onto Nina’s shoulder.

“No,” you grumbled. “You were right.”

“Oh, honey…”

You pulled away and began digging in your pockets, unwilling to meet her eye while you divulged another rejection, another failed leap into the dating pool.

“I was very ready to be ‘seeing’ him,” you grumbled, tearing open a little black aluminum envelope and stuffing your fingers inside. “But it turns out he’s already ‘seeing’ someone. Like… an amazing someone. A literal fairy-tale superhero!”

“I don’t… I don’t think that’s a thing…” Nina tried to slow your downward spiral.

“Oh trust me!” you nodded with raised eyebrows, dropping little granules from the black and neon packet into your drink. “It is. She’s like if a funny, caring, air-brushed version of a human come to life as an Avenger. And she was standing right there in his kitchen at two a.m. making him healthy fuckin’ food and being just… generally perfect for him. And apparently they ‘go way back.’ I just stood there like an idiot.”

You watched the little candies fizz and pop in your drink and took a sip, enjoying the distraction of the bubbly sweetness on your tongue.

“Honey, stop comparing yourself,” your friend’s comforting hand patted your shoulder. “It’s not about her.”

“No, I know.” You pouted, taking another sip and leaning against Nina as she pushed her arm over your shoulders. “It’s me. I get in too deep too fast and they never want me like I want them.”

“Okay, harsh truth time.”

“Already?”

She squeezed your shoulder.

“You are all about effortless,” she observed. “It’s great. You laugh effortlessly, find your way effortlessly, and you fall for people effortlessly. But, you expect them to match it and, honey, that’s just not how people work. Relationships aren’t effortless. Some people need time.”

“But nobody’s promised time,” you complained.

“Nobody’s promised a happy ending either.”

“Ouch.” You honestly hadn’t considered that unpleasant alternative. It left you silent and poking at the ice in your cup with the stupid red straw.

“I’m not saying your big open heart is a bad thing,” she was quick to soothe. “It’s what makes you, you. You’re like a big red hot air balloon. Most of us don’t know how you float through life like you do, with these highs and lows. Most of us are too scared for that. And honey, some people have been hurt. Some people just don’t know what they want. Give it time. Next time.”

You swung loose clumsy arms around Nina’s waist and hugged her tight to your side. “You always know just what to say. I’m glad you came out with me.”

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks,” she teased. “Next session I’m charging.”

“Therapists,” you rolled your eyes, “Always on the clock.”

“Shit! There you are!”

His voice was breathless and frantic but you’d learned to recognize it in the dark of night looking at the stars, or with a mouthful of pizza, or laughing over a tower of creamer packets. You’d know it with your eyes closed.

“Clint? What are you doing here?”

“I was…” he leaned over for a moment, catching his breath with his hands on his knees. “I w—Wait, that’s my line.”

Even if you’d wanted to, you couldn’t have helped responding to the grin that quirked lopsided across his face. It was just so easy with him. Effortless in every way.

You chuckled and looked at your feet, feeling that familiar shiver rising over the back of your neck. Finally, you let your gaze flicker over him, knowing it was a bad idea. Knowing you’d give in.

But you were startled by what you saw. No soft comfy sweats, no lived-in jeans with holes in the pockets and dirt on the knees. No perfectly fitted t-shirt that you knew would be well-worn and soft against your cheek.

No. He stood before you all sharp angular lines. Dark leather, black neoprene, and heavy zippers, like an armored motorcycle jacket trimmed in a dark dusty violet. The same leather armor cut in sharp lines down his legs to sturdy boots. Oddest, one glove covered only three fingers.

He stepped closer, reaching quickly for your hand. He looked hurt when you stepped back, frowning.

“Are you… are you with a band?” you asked, giving him another quick once over. “The opener?”

“What?” he chuckled. “No, why would you…?”

“Well, I don’t know,” you laughed right along with him like it was the simplest thing in the world, like right here with him was exactly where you were supposed to be and what you were meant to be doing. “I’m not judging… that’s a look though… the leather and…”

He glanced down at his suit. His Avengers uniform, his armor, and he outright laughed.

“I like it,” you shrugged, a sheepish smile insistently beaming over your cheeks. “It… you look good, but you um… you stand out a bit.”

“Yeah. I guess I do.” Something like a snicker, more like a snort accompanied his reply. It was so uniquely Clint: funny and absurd and so disarming. His eyes met yours again and you could read the smile all over them. they were brimming with it and you were practically swimming.

Nina’s arm eased from your shoulders and squeezed your hand. A reminder. A message: be strong, be patient. He’s not yours. She let go and stepped a few feet away, leaning on the bar within your sight if you needed her. Friends don’t abandon friends to almost-somethings come back to haunt you.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he blurted the words before he could think to soften them.

“One night only pop-up concert’s a strange place to look,” you joked.

“What?”

“The concert,” you squinted at him. “It’s a pop-up. They message a list of people like 3 hours before with the address. I assume you got one?”

Suddenly Clint’s comlink erupted with activity he struggled to attend to: It’s a set up. The concert isn’t real. Something about hostages and Clint get your ass out of there…

Bucky’s voice in his ear was nothing but noise, noise, noise when you were right here, bright and alive. You were always the midnight calm. The surest dance. Nothing could go wrong if he just stayed near you. He knew that wasn’t true, but for a minute he stood still in the center of the storm.

“No,” he shook his head, “No, I meant… I haven’t seen you at the bodega. Or the uh, the coffee shop, or—“

“I know.”

You swallowed hard, a crease deepening between your brows.

Clint was shocked by the silent push of the dagger of regret. He’d let you walk out of his apartment that day with a lie in your head and it hurt – physically hurt – to see you so pained by it. He felt like a kid who’d held the brightest, most buoyant red balloon and let it slip away into the sky.

“I miss…” you. A part of him screamed to finish the sentence, but that piece of him – sharp and poisonous – that knew he’d ruin things, had already ruined things clapped down on his tongue. “I miss talking to you. And Lucky misses you. And Marco, the uh, the pizza guy, he gives me a hard time when I turn up alone, and—“

“I miss you too, Clint.” The words came so easy to you. Like every emotion lay just below the surface, brimming, glowing, ready to burst, sometimes ready to break. To break you in two. Like right now as you swallowed another batch of tears. “It just… didn’t seem like a good idea anymore.”

“Barton! Let’s go!” the comlink squawked. He was rooted to the spot.

“I’m sorr—“

The moment he’d opened his mouth a blue streak ripped across the sky through the window behind him and landed against the building with a burst. He was close enough to feel the heat on the back of his neck in the same instant the boom reached his ears.

Pitching forward, his body crashed into yours, but he managed to recover enough to keep from crushing you. On his knees, with an arm curled over your back, his sharp eyes scanned the room.

“You okay?” he hollered over the roar of automatic gunfire and the frantic cry of the crowd.

You merely nodded, clinging tightly to the shelter he provided. Your fists curled in the smooth leather of his jacket. Quickly, he guided you behind the nearest bar – the faintest modicum of safety. Nina was there, clamoring for you, shouting your name in a wretched mixture of terror and relief.

Clint hated this about the job. How people sobbed through small victories, how fear colored everything thereafter. He wondered how it would color you. Would you still be red and bright? Would you be a fire engine, screaming for help? Would you be a red brick wall, graying in the dust of an explosion? Or the deep loathsome red of bloodshed over concrete, opaque like the muddied edges of raw garnet?

“Barton! We need you in position out here!” Bucky stood just inside the massive room, shoulder pressed to the thick steel door of an emergency exit. For a moment he gave Clint a look and a rueful frown. The very next moment, his steel blue gaze turned to the sliver of an opening he’d left at the door and began returning fire.

Clint closed his hands around yours and squeezed, gently extracting your frightened grip from him. He hated it. Every second, he hated it. But in order to protect this thing he’d found with you, he had to risk it. He had to turn into the storm.

“What are you doing?” you demanded panicked and grasping at his arm. “Where are you going?!”

Nina tugged at your arm, eyes locked on Bucky beating back the enemy at the gate. Then snapping to the room full of people: unarmed and frantic with no safe way out. It was chaos. Her eyes settled on Clint just in time to see him reach for his bow and flick his arm at the elbow, with enough force to snap the bow into shape.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he promised, hoping he wouldn’t break it. “Stay here, stay low.”

“Barton!” Bucky hollered again, “Priorities, man!” Then he disappeared through the door, expecting his mission partner to follow. To get his ass back into position.

“Clint!” you shouted as he turned and jogged through the mess toward the door. “What the fuck is he doing?” you asked Nina voice frantic to the point of shrill breaking. You weren’t really expecting an answer. “He’s gonna get murdered. He’s just a guy! He hardly sleeps, and he drinks more coffee than a camel does water! And his cholesterol must be through the roof from all that greasy pizza! And he’s… He’s…!”

“When were you going to tell me you’re buddy-buddy with the Avengers?!” Nina balked.

“I’m not!” you snapped. “I told you, it was so awkward. She was just in the kitchen when I strolled in like I owned the place, when really she and Clint have been toge—“

“No! Him!” Nina pointed, wide-eyed.

“Hi.” Clint was slightly out of breath again. He’d sprinted back and knelt to face you with a nervous smile flickering over his lips.

“Hi.”

“Bucky said priorities, so uh,” he looked down for a second. Took a deep breath and then leapt head first into the deep unknown, head blaring red alert and hoping it wouldn’t hurt too badly when he crashed into the water. “I’m Clint Barton, I—“

“I know that, Clint. I sit on your stoop like 3 nights a week.”

He held up a hand to stop you. God he just needed to get this out. “I’m an Avenger. I go by Hawkeye.” He held up the bow as proof. It was the most elaborate piece of man-made weaponry you’d ever seen. “Natasha is my best friend. Good and bad and… worse than bad, she’s there. And I’m there. That’s not gonna change, but we’re absolutely not… a thing. Okay?”

You nodded, chewing on a smile because it was definitely not an appropriate response to the current mayhem. But it was the only response you’d ever really had to Clint Barton. The midnight coffee guy. The bodega dance partner. The shitty night fixer. The can’t say no to a dog, pizza hoarder.

“I like you a lot,” his eyes were firm on your own now. Unwavering for once. “And I miss you. And I’m probably gonna need a lot of coffee and half the pizza in New York City when this is over with.”

You laughed, and it drew out a big smile in him, and a little courage too.

“And a really long nap.”

“And probably an ice pack,” you added.

“More than probably.”

You gently let your hand fall over his; the one holding the bow. You had fallen effortlessly and happily for Clint Barton, just Clint. But this Clint: bold and recklessly brave despite all the odds and all the reasons to fear... This Clint, Clint the Avenger was pretty damn incredible too.

“Can I call you for all of that? Like we did before? Once the dust settles?”

“You better.”

He nodded, resolute, determined to get to work, but with a grin lighter than he’d felt in a week. Without another thought, he kissed the tip of your nose. He chuckled to himself as he sprinted back to the door. It had been a thoughtless move, driven purely by the swelling feeling in his chest. It was all spontaneity and life. You must be rubbing off on him.

“You better! I miss that pizza dog of yours!” you hollered after him, leaning out from behind the bar with a cheeky grin.

Maybe he was rubbing off on you a little, too.

Chapter 6 >>

#clint x reader angst #clint x reader #clint barton x reader #clint barton #clint barton fanfic #avengers fanfic #vivid 5

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever seen a black rose? online only

Is your coffee machine plugged in right now? we don’t own one as we don’t drink coffee Do you write words on your knuckles? I tried few times for fun XD Have you ever been a SCUBA diver for Halloween? wtf Have you ever taken a picture of a sandwich? sure Have you ever seen elephant droppings? I haven’t  Would you like to visit Play Dough Land? :o What’s your opinion on Katy Perry? copycat Who was your favorite character from the cartoon Recess? Spinelli, then Gretchen

Have you ever lost your parents in the grocery store? yeah, I still do and I hate that  Have you drawn a star today? not today but when I was in hospital this week Are you older or younger than fifteen? much older If you can remember, what was the last thing that made you feel nostalgic? Recess being mentioned Are you the type of person who prefers to stay in or go out? stay in Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yep Are you starting to realize anything? sigh... Would you live with someone without marrying them? why not Who was the last person you talked to in person? *mom enters my room*

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? dad and two doctors

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? omg I realized I was so tired that I didn’t even say hello to my dog wtf... What genre is the song that you’re currently listening to? indiepop/electropop Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it? nope Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? plenty of times Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy” etc.) wow beautiful, pretty, attractive, cute, adorable, piękna, that she looks amazing/awesome/great, śliczna, urocza, słodka, cudowna...

*it reminds me of one very embarassing high school story: były wigilie klasowe i wyszliśmy rozbawieni z sali, a na korytarzu stała śliczna dziewczyna i na cały głos powiedziałam “ale laska” potem zorientowałam się co właśnie zrobiłam i robiąc facepalma wymaszerowałam ze szkoły, a za mną śmiejące się przyjaciółki, nie dały mi potem o tym długo zapomnieć, a E.W. nawet obczaiła kto to i próbowała się dowiedzieć, czy jest ona lesbą, ale okazało się, że ma chłopaka i demonstracyjnie całowała się z nim na moich oczach parę dni później Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? just water Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? I haven’t Name something you like, that starts with the letter ‘L’. lamps I’m not a moth tho :P When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? not sure when was the last time and/or what it was about How many people have you hugged today? 2 Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? been really into very dark brown eyes and arm lenght or a bit shorter brown hair mostly like Rosa Salazar (latino and asian women) that’s why Sarah been so my type

but my biggest tumblr crush was Raquey Strange

and my youtube one - Rachel Maksy

*vintage ladies <3 The last song you listened to – does it remind you of anyone? it doesn’t remind me of anyone, it’s from K-12 album

What was the last compliment you received? mom complimented my hair today

Are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? wallflower

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? none but Swift if I had to choose

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? no pattern this time

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? englihs, polish, russian Where did you get the underwear you’re wearing? Auchan

Are you good in painting yopur nails with your left hand? not even with my right one lol Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? very Do you call any of your friends by their last name? that would be weird How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning? long? Have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? I don’t recall Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? gave up TV Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? bathroom Are you trying to grow out your hair? need to cut my hair but not bangs

How many times does the letter ’t’ occur in your full name? once

What brand is the shirt you’re wearing? I cut the tag but I believe I bought it in Sinsay First person you spoke to today? my mother Name of first boyfriend/girlfriend? dunno who to count First place you lived? same as currently Who was your 1st teacher? not counting pre school and Mrs. Alinka - my aunt  Last person to call you? labor office Last song you heard? Melanie Martinez - Bombs on Monday Morning Last thing you bought? silver glittery ugg slippers :3 Where was your facebook display photo taken? hospital How many people have you kissed in the last 2 weeks? nobody What were you doing at 10 this morning? waking up Have you ever dated an Emily? umm... How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 0 What is the weather like right now? perfect - hot, zephyr, clouds :D why am I not outside?... Where was the last place you went that was more than 30 minutes away? mall Something you wear all the time that you’d feel naked without? panties, unless I’m sleeping

Do you live within an hour of the ocean? not even sea Do you ever do things even though you know you’ll regret it later? sometimes I might :( What are you currently sitting/laying on? my desk chair Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? no but I had a crush on one of them for a moment What do you plan to be doing 2 hours from now? eating? Have you ever been a clown for Halloween? not Halloween What time did you go to bed last night? early and immediately fallen asleep which never happens to me but I was so exhausted that I was falling on my face while I was blow drying my hair When was the last time it rained? yesterday or day before Have you ever made yourself throw up?  no way in hell When was the last time you went camping? middle school? Are you currently wearing anything orange? am not Do you know anyone who is a nurse? neighbor Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? lapdog Are you currently wearing any jewelry? nope Was any of it given to you? - What was the worst thing to happen to you today? health issues, annoying people, nothing new? Do you know anyone who plays guitar? I tried myself Did anyone tell you that you looked nice today? mentioned that in this survey so look above How many missed calls have you had today? two Did you graduate high school within the last 3 years? it’s been over 5 years  If not, will you graduate within the next 3 years? not applicable as you can see Which is coming next: Christmas or your birthday? Christmas Do you have any money on yourself at the moment? mhm Do you sleep in the nude? nope Do you ever walk around the house naked if no one is home? neither What is your favorite way to spend a cool autumn night? sleeping duh! Where was the last place you slept other than your house? hospital Do you have any big plans for the weekend? work in progress, we’ll see, deciding  How many relationships have you been in so far this year? like 1 Have you ever dated someone who had a child? pfft, I dislike kids so... Are you taller than 5'6"? I’m smol 

When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with?: this year

How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): 30+ years

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest store?: ~10 minutes

How old were you when you got your first smartphone?: 25 or something

Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder?: monkey for a second

Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively?: majority of society

Do you like The Rolling Stones?: prefer Depeche Mode

What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately?: life

How old were you in 1996? 4

How old will you be in 2026? won’t live that long but 34 What song is playing? Mosimann & MARUV - Mon Amour

Are you better at math or art? art Science or History? science, I’m bad at remembering dates and names

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? my town

Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? I wouldn’t be able to do such a thing What do you think of the 1980’s? cool :) Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? me and plants How old is the cellphone you have right now? couple years old What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? AA as I’m a woman - dodaj jedno A i będziemy anonimowymi alkoholikami

Are both your parents still living? they are  Can you do a handstand? used to Is it after 11am? it’s almost 5 pm What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent on the phone? talking or doing other stuff? How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? do I even own any?... Are you on any prescribed medications? plan to be sadly Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? doubt it, thought about septum as a teenager but no longer want it

How many days until Christmas? months Is your mom over 50? she is  How old were you 7 years ago? 21 Do you know what ‘C'est la vie’ means? even tho I don’t know this language  Are you wearing anything red? leggings Do you live in an apartment? house Do you wish on dandelions? I blow them but don’t wish on them Are you drinking anything right now? I’m going to  About how tall is your father? taller than me Do you know anyone who has lived to be 100+? not personally Have you had your birthday yet this year? in February Do you read your horoscope on a regular basis? nah Do you like the color yellow? it’s one of my fav colors Are you an aunt or uncle? yes What is your hair like at the moment? fine What would you name be if your last name was the color of your shirt? Black If you could find out how you would die, would you want to know? yasss but what about date? Has anyone ever told you you should be a model? with my height? r u serious? Who is the artist/band you’re listening to at the moment? Boy Epic Is there a calendar in the room you’re in? pocket and poster type If you’re single, do you wish you were in a relationship? am in a relationship Were you born in the 1980’s? 90s What was your first favorite movie? animated Robin Hood with a fox and Jumanji also Goonies What was your first trip to the emergency room for? not counting being born too early - I was choking due to the fact I got wrong meds for my lungs, later I ended up in ER as an adult for stomachache (took me in an ambulance) Where was the first place you went today? store What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? dream that I had Do you remember the first time you spent the night away from home? grandma’s apartment but not exact night as I was just a child What was the last movie you rented? I srsly can not remember Why did you last get angry? neighbor is mowing grass... every single day for whole day long How long ago was your last birthday? half year ago Do you enjoy helping people move or do you not like it? I’ve never helped anyone move 

Have you been taking more or less surveys as of recently? less as I was absent

[ladyanatui]

Daiken Ultimate Playlist, Pt. 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This is the abridged version of my Spotify playlist for all things Daiken, organized from the start of 02 to…eventually.

Part 3 specifically covers from not long after XV-mon and Stingmon first Jogress-evolve through Christmas.

TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses depression, suicide, emotional abuse, and PTSD quite a lot. Take care of yourself, folks!

Spotify Playlist

Click the song titles for YouTube links (apparently you can’t have more than five videos in a post), and otherwise, enjoy me rambling about Daiken.

One final note: Within the lyrics, I’ve emphasized meaningful words, such as night/nightmare, dark/darkness, miracle(s), kind/kindness, courage/bravery, friend/friendship, sun/star/light, fire/burn/ignite, angel(s), and words related to water/drowning.

“Carry On” by fun.

Though I've never been through hell like that I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone Or you're sinking like a stone Carry on May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground Carry on

And in the meantime, he knows that for Ken to feel better and move on, Ken needs to come to terms with his past while also not dwelling on it. Even by the end of the season, though, Ken still has a long way to go.

“Skin” Sixx:A.M.

When they start to judge you Show them your true colors And do unto others As you'd have done to you

Just rise above this Kill them with your kindness Ignorance is blindness They're the ones that stand to lose

One of Ken’s worst hangups about joining the team, though, is the fact that most of them still hesitate. Worst of all, Iori blatantly doesn’t want him there, though he does feel obligated to help Ken after Ken and Stingmon save his life. But Daisuke knows that as the others spend time with him and get to know him, they’ll love him just as much as he does.

“On My Own” by Ashes Remain

Every little thing that I've known Is everything I need to let go You're so much bigger than the world I have made So I surrender my soul I'm reaching out for your hope I lay my weapons down I'm ready for you now

And then, of course, there comes a time when Ken finally starts to come to terms with the fact that he can’t do this alone, that he needs their help and, more importantly, their friendship. This moment is difficult to pinpoint because it’s a slow process, but it’s probably right around episode 30 when Arachnemon creates BlackWarGreymon. Daisuke and Miyako trick him and Iori into working together in an attempt to get them to become friends, but the plan backfires when neither Ken nor Iori are fooled. But a few episodes later, by the time they’re defending the Holy Stones from BlackWarGreymon, Ken is working with the team.

And we can’t forget episode 35, where Daisuke invites Ken over for dinner to brainstorm about defeating BlackWarGreymon, and then suddenly it’s the next morning and Ken spent the night, which was definitely not part of the initial plan (they altered this in the English dub so that Daisuke asks him to spend the night after asking him over for dinner). The look on Ken’s face the following morning, when he wakes up to having spent the night at Daisuke’s home and watching their Digimon laugh and play together...it’s utterly heartwarming. He finally knows what it means to have a friend, and you couldn’t possibly find anyone more grateful.

“Doubt” by Twenty One Pilots

Temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping I'm not sure if I can see this ever stopping Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no You are all that I've got, no

But that’s not to say that Ken doesn’t continue to have doubts. There’s still a darkness in him he cannot shake, and he still struggles to believe he deserves to have friends, especially friends so wholly devoted and affectionate like Daisuke.

“Slip the Noose” by The Maine

Break down, hysteric and young Uncomfortably numb Then you sent my pain into oblivion I was on the verge of breaking down Then you came around And not a second too late

It’s pretty safe to say that, by this point, he understands how important Daisuke has become to him, even as he tried to prevent it. This song especially points to Daisuke helping him fight off his suicidal ideations (it’s all in the title).

“Anchor” by Skillet

When I get tired of finding All of the fears I've been hiding You gave me a breath and tell me to rest You never left

This is another song that focuses on the supportive nature of their friendship. Daisuke spends the entire second half of 02 being exactly who Ken needs him to be. He’s the supportive friend who isn’t afraid to tell him the awful truth if the moment calls for it.

And although it’s rarely talked about, Ken is also exactly who Daisuke needs in his life. Ken probably doesn’t realize how important he is to Daisuke, but the goggle boy seriously needed someone who actually listens to him, who respects him, and who loves him--and that’s exactly who Ken becomes as their friendship develops.

“All You Did Was Save My Life” by Our Lade Peace

I'm not dying All you did was save my life Pulled me out of that flat line Put the heartbeat back inside I'm not dying

And overall, it’s not an exaggeration to say that Daisuke legitimately saved Ken’s life. He was the one to activate the Digimental of Miracles, he (and Magnamon) was the one to defeat the Digimon Kaiser, he was the one to prevent Ken from potentially killing himself to stop his base from exploding, and he is constantly the one there to remind Ken of who he needs to be and what he needs to do to overcome his past.

“Picking Up Pieces” by Blue October

How long will I be picking up pieces? How long will I be picking up my heart?

Listen, I'll be as honest as I feel I feel like I'm getting more paranoid and I'm hearing things And they never turn out real It feels like my heart is made of pure steel It's just so heavy all the time

These things take time. Lots of time. To the point where it feels like it will go on forever. Despite the phenomenal progress he makes in 02, even by the end of the season, he still has a long way to go.

“Midnight Thoughts” by Set It Off

Here I am, 12 a.m. Sunken deep into my bed Kept alive by the light of the moon Close my eyes, but my mind's got its own plan tonight And it keeps rubbing salt in the wound

I know it's too late As night turns to day Now there's no escaping the ghost

Throughout this period, Ken is also suffering from nightmares--reminders of his past, including the moment the Dark Seed bored into the back of his neck and changed everything. I’m sure, to him, it feels like no matter how much he tries, he will never be able to move past the pain he’s caused the Digimon and Digital World.

“A Bad Dream” by Keane

I wake up, it's a bad dream No one on my side I was fighting But I just feel too tired to be fighting Guess I'm not the fighting kind Wouldn't mind it If you were by my side

First off, a big thank you to @molkschatz​ for introducing me to this song--it’s perfect for Ken.

Obviously, this song too references his nightmares, but it has far more to do with his loneliness and fear of losing himself than the actual bad dreams. Ken isn’t your typical fighter--he’s not courageous and spirited the way Daisuke and Taichi are, but he has a strong sense of justice and of right and wrong, which is really why it’s so important for him to help the Digimon and fight against evil. And although he may not be a tradition example of passion, he’s passionate in his own subtle way, and having Daisuke and the other Chosen by his side allows him to explore that side of himself.

“I Don’t Belong Here” by I Prevail

Looking back on the past, all the time I wasted Running from everyone that tells me that I'm fading out Must be mistaken 'cause I, I, I don't feel anything You know I got this brain, it drives me insane Some days I feel I can't take the pain, I'm gone I can't explain it 'cause I, I, I don't need anything (no)

Even as he learns to get along with all the Chosen, Ken struggles most with feeling like he doesn’t belong with the group. This is emphasized, of course, by the fact that he is the only one who doesn’t live in Odaiba, aside from Jyou.

This is most apparent in the Christmas episode where Ken has a holiday party and invites the group. He’s absolutely terrified to invite Iori because he assumes he won’t want to attend, but to his surprise, Iori has accepted him and is pleased he received an invitation because he didn’t expect one. Later, after they send the Digimon who ruined Yamato’s concert back to the Digital World, Ken has to go back to Tamachi and this adorable little exchange happens:

Sora: Ichijouji-kun sure has changed, hasn’t he? Hikari: He sure has. Daisuke: Really? I haven’t noticed anything...

While everyone else is still getting to know Ken as Ken and figuring out how he fits in the group, Daisuke has always seen him this way and has always felt like he belongs.

“Without You” by Breaking Benjamin

Say something new I have nothing left I can't face the dark without you There's nothing left to lose The fighting never ends I can't face the dark without you

There are so many moments throughout the show where Ken forces himself into situations where he is trying to deal with his problems on his own, facing the darkness on his own. But he quickly learns that he needs Daisuke and, to a lesser extent, the others there to help him, and more importantly, that having them fighting by his side doesn’t make him weak.

“Secret Smile” by Semisonic

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile And you use it only for me

I associate this song a lot with the Christmas episode because of how big of a deal everyone makes about his laughter but also the episode where Daisuke invites Ken over to his house and Ken just has the most beautiful peaceful smile on his face (mentioned earlier). The truth is that Ken is decidedly different around Daisuke than the rest of them. He’s more relaxed and happy, and once he starts calling Daisuke by his first name, he only does so privately. If other people are around, he still refers to him by his family name even as Daisuke calls him Ken all the time. Their relationship is precious and special, and calling him Daisuke publicly ruins the intimacy of it.

“An Act of Kindness” by Bastille

An act of kindness Is what you show to me It caught me by surprise in this town of glass and eyes Kindness, so many people pass me by But you warm me to my core and you left me wanting more

As the bearer of Crest of Kindness, it’s kind of a big deal for Ken to look at Daisuke and see all the wonderful and utterly kind things that he does. Extending his friendship when he had absolutely no reason to (don’t tell Dai that), defending him and helping him without any expectations in return--Daisuke shows Ken true friendship, and to Ken, that is the biggest act of kindness he ever could have performed.

And again, there’s a reference to Daisuke as a source of heat, much like the sun (plus, you know, the Crest/Digimental of Courage is associated with fire).

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

#daiken #daisuke motomiya #ken ichijouji #digimon #digimon 02 #playlist #trigger warning #suicide #emotional abuse #ptsd #depression #mental health #anatui

[roger1na]

careful ch6 - john deacon x reader

summary: you are a ballet student at the royal ballet academy. To pay for your tuition, you work part-time at the celebrity gossip magazine, Seven. One fateful day you’re sent to interview a band on the rise, Queen, post-concert and fall in love with the sweetest man on the planet.

word count: 2.8k+

warnings: swearing

author's note: it's over 16k now, i'm legally allowed to call it a slowburn :,). aa i've had so much fun with all of this writing and this series wow thank u for all the sweet comments<3. also i know -15% about swan lake so it's probably hideous to read about that. (i tagged some people who didn't ask, so if u want to be untagged just shoot me a message).

[ch1] [ch2] [ch3] [ch4] [ch5] [ch6] [ch7] [ch8]

chapter six

The alarm pierced the silence of friday morning at 5am. You snoozed it groggily and buried your face into your pillow. You hadn’t slept properly at all. With the nerves of the show and the nerves of the promise you’d made to John.

“You didn’t pick up on the subtext that I’m definitely kissing you the next time I see you?”

You hadn’t kissed anybody in years. And back then, it was probably totally different. Maybe nowadays they wanted only tongue. Sometimes you slipped a glance at whatever your co-workers were righting. Kissing and sex were at the top of the list of celebrity scandals and sometimes they terrified you. What the hell was the world doing?

A piercing call made you jump. It wasn’t your alarm, but your phone ringing in the living room. The floorboards were cold as you raced barefooted to answer it.

“Y/N!” Rose shrieked in your ear as soon as you. You winced and held the phone further from yourself.

“Rose, what the fuck.” You groaned annoyed.

“She broke her leg!”

Your mind was struggling to connect the dots. Everything was hazy in the morning and you just really wanted some coffee.

“She broke it. It snapped in half like a fucking twig.”

“You’ve lost me.”

“Frances! The prima!”

Slowly, the pieces were beginning to fit together. “What happened to her?”

“Freak accident! She was hit while driving. Or being driven around like the spoi-”

“Rose! She’s injured!”

“Oh yeah! You know what that means don’t you?”

“Rose you’re going to have to stop with the guessing games, I just woke up,” you mumbled and rubbed your forehead.

Rose shrieked on the other end impatiently. “Y/N you don’t get it. You’re the understudy.”

The phone slipped out of your hand as your arms went numb. Holy shit, you thought. If the original prima was unavailable, you’d be the one dancing. You were going to dance as Odette. That was your moment. It took a few seconds and then you screamed.

“Rose! I’m going to be dancing as a prima!” You were jumping around in hysterics. Then you paused for a moment and picked up the phone. “You didn’t have anything to do with the accident, did you?”

Rose giggled. “Of course not.”

“How come you’re the one calling me, not the studio or the teachers?”

“You never gave your number to the studio. I think half your documents are missing, you really need to get your shit in order. You’re going to be prima.”

“I’m going to be a prima!”

“Yes! Now get ready you dumbass, you’ve got a crowd to win over!”

You hopped around in excitement a bit more until you rushed to shower and get dressed. The sun was slowly peeking from the horizon and you grinned at your reflection in the mirror. Adrenaline coursed through your veins. It’d all been worth it. All of it.

London was only rising when you stepped into the musty tube carriage. Drunks coming home from nights slept away from their own beds and people in similar situations like yours, where work and life just started early. You flipped through a stranded newspaper, relieved that you didn’t find your own name among the pages.

You thought about John and how proud he’d be when he’d see you. He didn’t know about the news. Would he recognize you with heavy show make up and an tight bun? Would he wear a t-shirt and jeans combination? What did he know about ballet? Nerves coiled in your stomach, but you let them be. It was your day.

Across the city in a tiny student flat, John Deacon lay awake. He had tossed and turned all night thinking of you, your dance and your promise. He followed the cracks in the paint on the ceiling with his eyes, eyes tired but mind not letting him sleep.

The fact was, John Deacon had fallen in love. With your absent-minded gaze and with your babbling. With the way you stared off at him when you thought he couldn’t see. With the perfect way your palm fit into his. With the way your voice made him want to write a thousand embarrassing and poor quality love songs. And as he breathed and lay awake and pondered the great mysteries of the universe, he was brought back to the first night you had met.

Your eyes had glinted in the multicoloured lights of the show and you had been so mesmerised by the act on stage. And when you knocked on their dressing room door with confidence, John had almost felt apprehensive towards you. Like every interviewer, you were going to spin your own story without listening to them. But then you talked and listened and laughed at his jokes and suddenly the light caught your hair in a new glow and John came to love the confident interviewer in you. Not stuck up, not cruel and not fake. Just confident.

He loved how you let life take you but didn’t stand for its bullshit. How you were so vocal about issues in the workplace and misogyny in dancing and the issues in falling in love with an art and a person at the same time.

Overall, he just loved you. And sometimes it felt so stupid, so foolish to lie awake and dream of your peachy lips and rose scent but today of all days, the butterflies felt good. They felt promising.

The day wore on. With little sleep he walked to the studio, enjoying the fresh air and trying to ignore the growing fog in his mind. The boys couldn’t stop yelling today. He just sat in the corner, pouring over his notes for the song that you suggested he write.

It was called Misfire and it was exactly what it sounded like. He laughed when he thought about how you’d react to the lyrics. How you’d have a hesitant smirk at first, and then you’d be bouncing to the music, like the little ball of joy u were. Along the margins, he’d scrawled notes for another song he wasn’t quite ready to pull together. Words like sunshine, and my best friend jumped out from the messy handwriting, but otherwise it was almost illegible.

“He’s got her show today,” Freddie whispered over coffee. Brian and Roger were giving each other the silent treatment over Dear Friends and John was silent in the corner, scribbling his notes down. “Do you think he’s writing her a love song?” He continued.

“What, Deaky?” Brian looked up from his cup. “He doesn’t seem the type. His first song for Queen being a love song.”

“Bri’s right. He’ll write something silly. He’s like that.” Roger added. The argument diffused as fast as it had started. “You forget he’s only twenty two.”

“Twenty three in two weeks, right?”

“Yeah.”

They all looked at him simultaneously. John felt their stares and looked up, flashing a gap-toothed smile. “What?”

“Nothing,” they all replied in unison.

“You excited about seeing Y/N today? Do you need a suit?”

“Freddie,” John rolled his eyes and snapped his notebook shut. “I have a suit. The funky checkered and white one.”

“Aw,” Brian leaned on his hands. “Will Y/N like it?”

“Shut up, you all,” John walked over and took his coffee, black with one sugar, and took a sip. “I’m perfectly capable of going to see a ballet on my own. No need to be babied.”

“But you’re so small!” Roger grinned but John gave him a death glare.

“Bring her roses,” Freddie advised him. “You always give roses to a ballerina after a performance.”

“Gee, Freddie, you seem to know so much, why don’t you go instead? Kiss her for me as well.” John stuck his tongue out.

“You’re going to kiss her? John that’s first base!” Brian teased.

“I hate you all.” John groaned.

“We love you too,” they replied in unison once more.

“And she’s going to love you too,” Freddie grinned.

After an exhausting day of teasing for John and training for you, evening was drawing nearer. The girls were all in one room, putting glitter and makeup on each other’s faces and brushing up hair into tight buns.

“Y/N’s man is coming over today,” Rose told a girl who was dancing next to her, a she was applying mascara.

“Rose,” you warned her slightly.

“Ooh, who is it?” The girl, Pamela, blinked fast, adjusting to the mascara.

“This guy, he’s called John.” You mumbled, incredibly flustered suddenly.

“John Deacon.”

“Who the hell is that?” Beverly, the girl who danced as Odile asked.

“Only the bassist of Queen.” Rose bragged.

“Rose! Shut up, we’re barely dating.”

Rose mouthed, it’s because she’s a prude behind your back and the rest of the girls giggled.

“Well, Y/N, I hope your man can behave at a ballet show, if he’s from a rock band.” Pamela pumped her brows up a bit.

“He’s great! Calm, sweet, but so energetic.” You told them.

“Fantastic.” Beverly clapped her hands together. “I hope he’ll enjoy our show.”

“And what comes after it,” Rose teased. You frowned at her but didn’t reply. The bustling of the crowd outside was finally heard through the walls of the dressing room. Some children, younger siblings and all that, parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, dedicated friends all walking into the auditorium with an excited buzz.

Among them was John, fiddling nervously with a bouquet he’d bought for you. Red roses, almost blooming. He hoped they’d last through the show. Some people did a double take when they saw him, perplexed not only by his imposing height but also his long hair. A young girl came up and asked for an autograph, scribbled on the program they were handed at the entrance.

The auditorium was huge. Seats for maybe thousands. He elbowed his way to the front rows, hoping to have the best view of your dance. You’d told him you were dancing in the background with your friends Rose and Pamela and that when you wore identical makeup, it was almost impossible to separate you, except by Rose’s red locks. He had promised you he’d be able to recognize you among clones and you had playfully shoved him on the shoulder, although you were very happy.

The lights dimmed and the show started, delicate beginning notes being played on the piano. And then the main character he was told was called Odette danced on stage.

His breath stilled. It was you. You with your tight stage bun and glimmering makeup, so strong you were almost unrecognizable. But it definitely was you. You danced with a sorrow in your step. He was told that the story was really quite sad, and he saw it in your mourning movements.

You were so graceful, he couldn’t help but be in awe that he was so lucky to have you. Occasionally, when the music turned to a minor key and the dance turned into sadness and pain, he felt tears brimming in his eyes. When Freddie gushed about ballet, he had been skeptical at whether it was truly possible to convey such intense emotions through dance, but when he saw you in action, all his doubts dissipated.

You received a standing ovation. Well, from John. Everybody was clapping heartily, having enjoyed the show. Some people had stood up with John, others were wiping their eyes. Some children had already began an excited gabble to their parents about the show.

John beat the crowd outside, managed to get to the front of the buzzing people. He couldn’t stop his grin. He heard the girls chattering to themselves on the other side. Somebody screamed in joy and everybody laughed.

You were only separated by a pair of sturdy oak doors and a dimly lit hallway where at the end every dancer was cursing their sore legs and undoing tight hairdos. Rose helped to take out all your pins and you did the same for her whilst gushing in excitement.

“That went really well, don’t you think?” You smiled at her as she tried to to remove some of the glitter plastered on your face, with little success.

“I think so, yes,” she paused for a moment, tilting your head back to get some of the stuff off your neck. “Did you see him?”

You looked at her and smiled. “Well, uh no, not really, I got so caught in the stage and the motion and the music. But I felt him, y’know? Like, his dopey grin just shone to me.”

“Aw, Y/N’s been turned into a sap,” Beverly joked, pulling on a sweater and trousers.  

“Excuse me, you would too, if you were around him.”

“I wish I had someone,” Pamela wiped off her lipstick and grimaced.

Rose looked at her quickly, flushed a bright red only you noticed and then turned back to you, smiling sheepishly, saying nothing. You studied her face and caught her eye but didn’t say anything.

“You ready?” She whispered as you glanced in the mirror one more time before nodding and leaving the dressing room.

The chatter was becoming more obvious the more you neared the exit. Pushing the heavy doors open, a pang of hot air hit your face and then you were out and you heard the excitement and the little children and your eyes were searching the crowd.

When you saw him, with his lopsided bowtie and gorgeous red roses he was holding, your heart stopped. He was grinning, ear to ear, flushed with pride. John thought you were so beautiful, breathtaking, with your hair just taken down from a tight stage bun, show make up still glimmering slightly on your face.

Cupid twisted the arrow he’d embedded into your heart and common sense was thrown out of the window. The feeling of being in love embraced you and left your heart soaring. Nothing could stop you as you ran up to him and before he could open his mouth to congratulate you, you took his face in your hands and on tiptoes you kissed him, slightly missing the center of his lips but hitting the mark all the same.

He kissed back, almost dropping the roses. It wasn’t ferocious or possessive, it was sweet. He tasted of cigarettes and red wine and the smell of his cologne flooded your nose. It was like a dance, synchronised, almost practiced. It was perfect, passionate and soft.

When you pulled away, slightly out of breath, he was starstruck, eyes shining. “Wow, I-” he blinked and laughed. “If I got a kiss everytime I went to your shows, I would’ve come sooner.” You giggled and took the roses.

“Thank you.” People were staring, but you didn’t care. “Really, it means a lot.” He was still grinning like an idiot and you were sure the same grin graced your face, eyes squinting, nose wrinkly, all in the glory of being in love.

He giggled then he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. “You were so amazing dancing, I kept thinking I know her. You’re my favourite celebrity.”

"Oh, I'm hardly a celebrity," you laughed, blushing.

He handed you the roses after one more kiss and you marveled at how good they smelled. He had held them so close to him that part of his cologne had gotten stuck to it as well, and you revelled in the scent.

More people came up and congratulated you, a bit intimidated by John’s presence but happy for you all the same. A small child ran into you for a hug and gushed about you being their favourite princess. He was pulled away from you by embarrassed parents.

After the crowd had cleared a bit, John laced his fingers with yours. “Can I take you out to dinner?”

“Of course,” you smiled at him softly and on your tiptoes, kissed his cheek. You felt like you were in the best place. Warm and comfortable with his hand in yours, his hair tickling your face as he leaned down and whispered more compliments to you about the performance to you.

He lead you out, where the evening had darkened to night, making jokes and acting like the happiest man on earth.

“John?”

“Yes love?”

“Thank you,” you grinned as his eyes found yours and sparkled.

“What for?”

“For the roses. And the kiss. You’re a great kisser.”

“Oh?”

You nodded with a serious expression.

“Well, I’m not actually really sure how I think of you as a kisser, can I kiss you again? Just to be sure?”

You giggled and let him softly cup your face with his hands and lean down to kiss you gently. He pulled away fast and had a mockingly thoughtful expression on his face and he smacked his lips. “Hm, I’m not quite sure yet,” he teased before leaning down again. You giggled into the kiss, arms wrapping around him.

Your heart fluttered, but not from nervousness or confusing feelings which had been far too present for the past three weeks. Your heart was fluttering because you were in love and you were happy and okay with it. You were more than okay with it. You loved it.

***

@fourmisfits @deakysgirl @im-happy-at-home @obsessedwithrogertaylor @itsametaphorbriansblog @rhapso-kei @deacontaylormaymercury @queenmylovely @imgonnabeyourslave @weirdestmentalityphilosopher @thefatbottomedmay @heyyyyyyyleykiyoko @brujademente @painkiller80

#john deacon #deacy x reader #deaky x reader #deacy #deaky #john deacon x reader #joe!deaky #joe!john deacon x reader #joe!john x reader #joe!john deacon #joe!john #careful - jd #aa this part was sooo fun to write #but i wrote the kiss scene waaayyyy back #when it was still snowy outside actually #it just so happened i had inspo and i wrote it down so i wouldn't forget #so yeah #idk i had fun woohoo it only gets better now we can get to the real angst