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hgfictionwriter · 2 days

Text

Mending

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Despite how great a girlfriend Jessie is, old hurt bleeds into your relationship with her and threatens to dismantle it.

Warnings: Mentions of emotional manipulation and abuse.

A/N: Bit of angst and hurt as reader recalls past experiences, but very much a comfort and reassurance fic. Happy ending. Based on this request.

"Hey, change of plans, instead of going out for dinner after the game on Saturday, Becky's invited us all to go to her house instead."

A heavy pit immediately formed in your stomach as you read Jessie's message. You totally forgot about dinner with her and the team on Saturday. Suddenly, the memory of you agreeing to come to dinner to celebrate Becky's milestone caps was vivid in your mind, unfortunately too late though.

You chewed the inside of your lip as you stared at her message and fret about what to do.

"Jessie, I'm so, so sorry. I completely forgot. I have [y/best friend]'s birthday that night. I didn't realize when I agreed that there was a conflict. We have reservations and tickets to an event that night. I'm really sorry - I don't think I can go to your game or to Becky's after. I wish I could though."

"I can't believe I didn't notice sooner. I promise I will make it up to you. I know you have plans the next day already, but maybe we could grab breakfast together?"

"All good. I have errands to run in the morning, so can't do breakfast."

You stared at Jessie's message. It wasn't warm like her usual texts. And she didn't offer an alternative or continue the conversation. Your chest tightened.

"That's okay! I wanted to offer. I'm really sorry, Jessie. I promise I'll pay closer attention next time. Maybe I could meet you after my event is over?"

"Or maybe I can skip part of something and join you for a bit that evening?"

A couple of hours passed - no response.

You stared at the messages with Jessie and fidgeted anxiously. You were supposed to be focused on a project right now, but you hadn't typed more than 50 words since Jessie texted.

You checked your phone incessantly. Your mind knew no new texts had come through, yet you checked with blind faith and hope that you'd see a message from her.

Logically, you knew she was probably just busy. She was at training, after all. But she'd made time to text you earlier. And she'd texted at various points of training before.

Your stomach churned, a heavy, deep pit inside of you, as you wondered if Jessie was mad at you for cancelling. And did she actually have errands that morning – or was she just upset with you.

The anxiety and unrest building inside of you was a feeling that was all too familiar and it hit you hard because of it.

You tried to remind yourself that Jessie wasn't your ex. Nor was she like your ex. She wasn't someone who would manipulate you, punish you with mind games and emotional warfare, and dangle her affection above your head as a reward you may receive if you were perfect enough.

At least Jessie wasn't like that so far. It had only been a couple of months. And you've seen people take great care and patience in slowly reveal who they are – and not for the better.

You sighed and felt a lump form in your throat. You hated being stuck in this state. You finally worked up the courage to leave your ex – and she didn't make it easy – but you wanted a better life.

You didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore. You didn't want to analyze every little action and word. You didn't want to try to anticipate your partner – doing your best to ward off her bad moods and brace yourself for when you weren't successful.

So, could you cancel on [y/best friend]? Well, anything's possible. But, you didn't want to. You gave up so much of yourself and your life on account of your ex and you swore you wouldn't do it again. Not even for someone as incredible as Jessie.

Yet, here you were making unprompted, borderline-desperate accommodations. The way you fell into old, bad habits left you dejected and ashamed. It felt like no matter how hard you tried to break cycles or damaging mindsets, simple things pulled you right back.

Several hours passed and you felt like you were going to be sick. Your mind was noisy with self-reprimanding thoughts and endless theories.

On your way home, you were looking at your messages with Jessie again when the typing bubble came up. Your body stilled and your breath hitched in your chest. You mouth was dry as you waited.

"You don't have to do any of that, Y/N. Seriously. Go to your friend's party!"

What did that really mean? Maybe it should've made you feel better, but instead you felt your worry grow.

You chewed your lip and typed out a reply.

"I can do both! I want to make it work. I'm sorry – that's what I should've said from the beginning."

"What? No. You don't need to. Go to [y/best friend]'s party."

"But I want to support you. And I don't want you to think I'm not prioritizing you."

"I'm sorry. I'm not sure what's happening. I think I've said something that's come across wrong. I'm not upset or bothered at all. I know you support me and prioritize me. And to be clear, you shouldn't prioritize me above yourself or everyone else."

You read Jessie's message. While you were dissecting everything she said, this message made you slow down and take a step back. It felt genuine – as far as you could tell. Maybe it was real.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I guess I was just reading into things and getting in my head. I'm sorry."

"Baby. Are you okay? What's going on?"

Without warning, you felt tears begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. You really wanted this relationship to be different. For you to be different, and you were ruining things anyway.

You were lost in your thoughts when your phone began to vibrate in your hand. You stopped in your tracks as your eyes shot down to see Jessie's name and picture. Your pulse quickened, but in a way you weren't used to with Jessie. Normally, it was excitement and anticipation, but in this moment you felt trepidation. You started walking again and reluctantly picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Jessie's voice was warm and despite your concerns, immediately comforting. "I was going to wait for your text, but I thought maybe phone would be better. Things can get misconstrued easily with text. So...what's going on? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm great." It pained you to muster up the false levity in your voice. "I'm sorry to worry you."

"You know, I'm the Canadian here, and yet you are doing an awful lot of apologizing. And you really don't need to," she offered with a soft laugh.

"I'm-" You stopped yourself with a near flinch before the word 'sorry' came out again. You took a quick breath and spoke evenly. "I'm okay. Really. Like I said, I was just getting in my head. It's all good though. Thanks for clarifying."

"Okay," Jessie said slowly, clearly not fully convinced. "I mean, can you tell me what I said that caused that? It definitely wasn't my intention."

You couldn't prevent your frustrated sigh from escaping you. You quickly spoke up to prevent Jessie from thinking it was about her.

"Honestly Jessie, it's okay. It's not on you. I just wanted to make sure I didn't upset you."

"Why would I be upset? I-" Jessie's tone was curious and not accusatory, but you cut her off.

"I wasn't paying close enough attention and I had to cancel on you. And I know your team was expecting me to be there too, so now you have to make an excuse for me." You swallowed and took a short breath, unsure if you wanted to go on or not. "And, I don't know. You seemed kind of curt? Or not that warm when you first responded? And then I didn't hear from you for a while..." Your voice wavered and trailed off as you heard your own words, a sense of anger rising inside of you at how pathetic you sounded.

"Baby," Jessie said affectionately, though you heard a faint laugh coming through the phone, "I'm really sorry. I was rushing to text you before we went out on the pitch, so that's why my texts were a bit more curt or blunt than usual, but I wanted to reply to you before I'd be gone for a while. I guess I didn't think about how that might be worse."

You listened to her reply, still feeling small, and failed to come up with a response before she spoke again.

"Are you free tonight?" She asked. "And by 'tonight' I mean in like an hour."

You stammered briefly, skepticism and confusion clouding your response before finding your voice. "Yeah." You let a beat pass. "Any reason why?" You asked tentatively.

Jessie laughed gently. "Because I'd like to come over and bring you dinner if you're up for it."

Your jaw clenched subconsciously. This didn't feel right. But still, you nodded. "Sure. That'd be nice." You couldn't stop yourself before you continued. "But you really don't need to. I've already caused issues today. Like, you don't need to change your plans or go out of your way. I'm totally fine."

"Sushi or Vietnamese?" She asked you undeterred.

"I-I don't know. Up to you."

"I would like your opinion," she continued lightly. It took you a couple of seconds to reply.

"Sushi."

"Done. I'll be at your place in about an hour, okay?"

"Jessie..." You weren't even sure what you were protesting anymore. It just all felt unfamiliar.

"I'll see you soon, babe."

True to her word, Jessie showed up at your apartment an hour later, sushi in hand.

"Hi," she said with a warm smile as she stepped in, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in for a kiss. Even though your reciprocation was delayed and mild, she pulled back and still smiled at you sweetly.

"Thank you for having me over. I got you an extra order of those dragon rolls you like," she announced as she walked further in and set the bag down on your kitchen counter. She started retrieving plates from your cupboards. You stood passively behind, watching her move through your apartment leisurely.

"What can I grab you to drink?" She asked over her shoulder as she carried everything over to your table.

"I'm fine. I have some water," you told her, feeling like your voice was disappointingly meek. You refocused a moment later and straightened, taking a step towards your fridge. "What can I get you?"

"I've got it," she assured you lightly, holding up her hands, gesturing for you to relax. "I'll grab water. Take a seat. Dig in."

You slowly made your way over to the table. Your eyes remained fixed on her as you sat down. By the time she took her seat, you hadn't even retrieved your chopsticks off the table. She held your gaze and took a sip of her drink. She set the glass down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"I was going to dig into things after dinner, but I get the sense it's heavy on your mind, so, if you're okay with it maybe we can just talk right now." It was more of a statement than a question, but she did leave the door open for you to object. When you didn't, she stood up slightly and shuffled over with her chair to sit right in front of you, your knees nearly touching.

"Is this okay?" She asked as she took your hands in hers. You gave a few faint nods and she offered you a small smile. "Okay. I guess I can start by clarifying – I didn't mean to sound curt or cold at all. I was in a rush and didn't think about how my words could come across via text. I'm glad you told me though, because now I know if there's something bigger going on I can approach things differently.

"If I don't have time to fully respond, would it be okay if I just tell you that I'm short on time but will answer you more later? And as part of that, tell you things are okay – I just want more time to give a full reply?"

Your posture straightened and you blinked as you processed her words. It just felt so strange.

"Y-yeah. That'd be totally fine." You shrugged before shutting your eyes and rethinking things. "But, that's silly. You don’t need to do that. I just should know and be able to not spiral." While you felt nervous and uncertain a few seconds ago, you now felt a wave of internal disappointment going through you. She brought you back to the moment by stroking the back of your hand with her thumb.

"I can communicate more clearly and intentionally," she assured you gently. "And you don't have to 'just know' - you're not a mind reader." She paused, holding your gaze before visibly exhaling. "But that does make me wonder. Why do you feel like you have to be a mind reader?"

You could almost feel yourself shrink under the weight of her question. You averted your gaze and could feel your hands starting to get clammy.

"Hey," she said softly, urging you to look back at her as she lifted her hand and gently cupped your cheek. "It's okay. I don't want to push you, but, I feel like there's something more going on here, and...I care for you so much. I want to better understand. Better understand you, where you're coming from, and how I can be a better partner to you."

You don't know what happened. All of a sudden you felt your face screw up as tears started to form in your eyes.

"I'm sorry," you said, your voice coming out strained. She shuffled in closer and cupped your face anew.

"Hey, hey. Don't apologize. It's okay to cry. Take your time. I'm here." She caressed your hand and though you couldn't hold her gaze for long, you felt her caring eyes upon you. "You can talk whenever you like – if you like."

A few stifled sobs snuck out of you and you rolled your eyes at your lack of composure. She waited patiently and laid a lingering kiss on your forehead. You took a few deep, steady breaths and began to speak.

"I-I don’t know where that came from," you explained, forcing a mild laugh. She didn't return your laugh and you grew serious once more. "I," you spoke and your words faded. You took another quick breath and set your shoulders back. "I'm just not used to being treated like that. Like you did just now. And," your gaze flicked away out of guilt, "I don't know what to do with it. And I have a very hard time trusting it."

Jessie pulled her hand away from your face to take your other hand again. "Okay. Um. Well, first off, I'm really sorry that you're not used to being treated that way. You deserve to be treated with respect and care." She exhaled quietly. "Can I ask how you're used to being treated?" She rushed to explain. "It's not really my business – and I don't want to open old wounds, but if I knew, it would help me ensure I don’t inadvertently make you feel that way again."

You sighed wearily, blinking back new tears. "Well, I guess they're clearly not old wounds since they flared up again so easily." You pulled your hands back and brought them up to your temples. "I'm so sorry. This is such garbage that you're having to deal with this. I thought I was better."

"Baby," she coaxed gently, placing her hands on your legs and leaning in slightly, hoping to catch your eye. "Please do not apologize. Your feelings are totally valid. And we all have our pasts, and we each have unique hurt and pain from our experiences. And some things are not easy to heal, and I think it's fair to say that in some cases, some things never do fully heal. But, I'm here to help you navigate anything you may be going through as best as possible. I'm here to care for you, not hinder you."

You dug your fingers into your face briefly before dropping them to your lap with a breath that was half sigh, half laugh. You looked at Jessie, taking in her soft brown eyes that searched yours with compassion and sincerity. How did she choose you?

"Oh my gosh." You sniffled. "No one's ever said anything like that to me. Certainly not my ex."

Quiet realization dawned on Jessie's face before she settled back in, remaining focused on you. She waited wordlessly for you to go on. You scratched the back of your head briefly, eyes trained on the floor before you forced yourself to look up at her.

"Remember how I said things with my ex were rocky at times? Well. That was putting it lightly, really." You took a breath. "She could be so affectionate and loving one moment – like I was the center of her universe, and then cold and cutting the next, like I was some burden she had the unfortunate task of dealing with. And she never meant what she actually said – I always had to read between the lines. She'd tell me things are fine, but," you laughed ruefully, "they were not. She'd be withholding, and curt, making passive aggressive remarks. But anytime I tried to address things or call her out, she would insist that it was just me and everything was fine.

"That is, until we'd inevitably have a blow out of some kind, and she'd make it very clear that it was always my fault. That I was being difficult and if she was being cold or mean, it was to protect herself and it was my fault for making her feel or act that way. "

Jessie let out a brief laugh of disbelief, looking at you in mild shock. "Are you serious? That's-" She caught herself mid-sentence, exhaling momentarily before continuing. "That's unacceptable. So she gaslit you and made you feel crazy."

"All the time."

Jessie sat back briefly, slapping a hand on her thigh as she shook her head. "Wow. That's so horrible." She leaned back in and grabbed your hands. "I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that. None of that sounds fair or right. That would've been so hard to navigate." You wiped at a stray tear and let out a short, bitter laugh.

"It wasn't fun. And as you can see, it's royally messed me up." Your lip trembled. "And now you're dealing with the fallout. It's not fair to you."

"Y/N." She said your name tenderly and gave you a reassuring smile. "There is no 'dealing' here – I...I really care for you. And I want you to know that you're safe. I want you to be open and honest with me anytime something bothers you or hurts you. I want to build you up and make sure you see yourself the way I see you."

"See?" You asked, giving her a look. "I’m having a hard time reconciling these two experiences. Realities."

Jessie sighed softly and nodded. "I can understand that. I can only imagine how hard it would be to be with someone who is supposed to care for you and have your best interests in mind, but they're unpredictable or inconsistent in their feelings and actions. It would be hard to adjust after being in a relationship where your partner shows up differently depending on the day. Or uses their affection as a weapon or a bartering tool." She sighed again and lifted your hand to kiss your knuckles before clasping your hand between hers. "I'm so sorry, babe. You didn't deserve any of that."

You shook out your shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. "Except I thought I did for so long. And – I don’t know – I'm scared, I guess. She treated me so well at the beginning. And then over time things changed. Sometimes it's hard to believe that I didn't cause it in some way."

Jessie gave you a frown of concern. "You didn't. I promise you that. Everyone is accountable for their own actions – you shouldn't take responsibility or blame for her behaviour. We can all get frustrated or upset with other people – it's inevitable, but that doesn't give someone the right to mistreat anyone else." She frowned further, her tone now lowering slightly. "And she's an adult – she should be able to express her wants or needs without playing mind games with you."

You looked at Jessie, your eyes glistening with tears. You shook your head.

"Why are you being so good to me?" You looked away, frowning as your own frustration bubbled up once more. "I'm not even mad about it these days. Because I can't change the past, and I learned a lot about myself, what I want, and what I won't put up with anymore. But the worst part is that despite how much work I've done and how far I've come – you're sitting here, being incredible, saying and doing everything I ever dreamed of and all I can think is how long is it going to last until you change." You went on adamantly. "I know you're not her. At all. But, I've been burned before by someone who claimed to care. And apparently I can't seem to get over it."

Rightfully or not, you expected Jessie to get frustrated with you or even insulted by what you said. Instead, she studied you quietly and eventually her expression softened even further and she gave you a faint smile.

"You're right. I'm not her. And I hope I never meet her, because it breaks my heart to know that she hurt you so deeply. I really hope you know, or will know, that someone who loves you doesn't treat you the way she did."

She took a small breath, readjusting her position in her chair and grabbing both of your hands again. She stared down at them and started to speak.

"There's been something that I've wanted to tell you, but I haven't known when the right time would be."

She looked to you with a soft smile.

"I know someone who loves you doesn't treat you the way she did – I know that for sure - because I love you." She let the declaration hang in the air for a moment before continuing. "I love you. I have for a while now. Each day I wake up missing you if you're not next to me, and when I think of you I think of all the ways I want to love you – show you I love you. I want to make your life even better than it is today and do that for the rest of my life.

"Today, even with just the thought that I'd hurt you or upset you, I wanted to see what was wrong, what I did and how I could fix it so we can move forward together. I wanted to know how I could make you feel better. And then learning that you maybe didn't feel safe – I 100% wanted to reassure you that you should always feel safe and comfortable to feel your emotions and express yourself. I would never want you to have to edit yourself or hide.

"And I don't expect you to just 'get over' things. You are free to feel the way you feel, even if it means you can't fully trust that I'm being honest when I say these things. I hope you don't have to question these things forever, but I need you to know that I will always reassure you. And maybe even more importantly, that my actions will reflect my words."

She gave a light shrug and continued, her voice now playful. "And if you didn't notice, I'm a very patient and tenacious person, and it just so happens I'm very set on loving you for as long as you'll let me."

By the time Jessie finished speaking your lip was fully trembling and the tears were you fighting back were rolling down your cheeks. She was watching you calmly, waiting, and you covered your face with your hands. Your shoulders shook with a couple of soft sobs as you absorbed everything she just said.

She rest her hands lightly on your legs and idly caressed your knee with her thumb while she waited.

"Please don't hide," she coaxed gently. "Take your time, but you don't need to hide." A few moments passed and she added with a chuckle. "And I'm hoping those are good tears."

You laughed through your tears and lowered your hands to give her a watery smile.

"Of course they are," you told her, your voice thick with emotion. She cracked a smirk, sitting there so relaxed. You smiled further. Even if it didn't seem like it in the moment, being around Jessie always had a way of calming you and making you feel grounded. You launched forward and pulled her into a tight hug, which she readily returned with a soft laugh. She turned her head towards you to kiss the side of your head.

"I love you, too," you whispered as you gave her a squeeze and she clutched you tighter. She pulled back enough to look at you and this time she had tears in her eyes as well.

"You mean it?" She asked with a crooked and hopeful grin. You gave her a little disbelieving frown as you laughed.

"Of course I do. Jessie, how could I not love you? You're everything I could ever want," you assured her. She leaned in and gave you a soft kiss.

"I just want you to know that even though I said it, it doesn't mean you need to. If you aren't quite there yet, that's completely okay. I'm not leaving until you tell me to."

You rolled your eyes in ongoing disbelief and gave a light shake of your head. "You can't be real." She scrunched up her face at you playfully and you leaned in, holding her face in your hands as you kissed her slow. "And for the record, I am very much in love with you."

When you pulled out of the kiss, Jessie was beaming.

"Then I'm a very lucky woman," she said decisively.

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #woso x reader #woso #canwnt #jflem #woso imagine #canwnt x reader #portland thorns

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avatar-anna · 3 days

Text

Already Over

A story told through text!

Your ex (don't pick up!): So...same time again next weekend?

You: No.

You: That was the last time.

Your ex (don't pick up!): You said that last time

Your ex (don't pick up!): And the time before that...

Your ex (don't pick up!): Come on babe, when are you gonna drop the charade?

You: Three texts in a row? Someone's desperate

Your ex (don't pick up!): You drive me crazy baby. You always have.

You: Sorry. I'm serious this time.

Your ex (don't pick up!): You're really going to let THAT be the last time?

Your ex (don't pick up!): You didn't even get to sit on my face!

You: I'll live.

Your ex (don't pick up!): I won't!

Your ex (don't pick up!): And what about your tits? I need to say a proper goodbye

Your ex (don't pick up!): Please baby I'm aching for you

You: In the two years we were together I think that's the most ridiculous thing you've ever said

Your ex (don't pick up!): You're really going to be satisfied with that being the very last time? I just think we can do better

(five minutes later)

Your ex (don't pick up!): You're not answering because you know I'm right

You: I'm not answering because I'm not entertaining this conversation anymore

Your ex (don't pick up!): Because you know I'm right

You: We. Are. Not. Together. Anymore.

Your ex (don't pick up!): See you say that but then Saturday night rolls around and you're asking if I'll come over

Your ex (don't pick up!): But don't worry baby I won't judge you I promise. I'll even let you sit in my face even though you've been so mean

You: Don't hold your breath

(five days later)

You: You busy?

(six minutes later)

Your ex (don't pick up!): Already on my way

*.*

Ames👯‍♀️:: Seriously?

You: What? Did something happen at work?

Ames👯‍♀️: No...

Ames👯‍♀️: You're really gonna make me say it?

You: What are you talking about?

Ames👯‍♀️: I saw Harry sneaking off to his car this morning

You: It was the last time I swear!

Ames👯‍♀️: This wasn't the first time?! Y/n!!

You: I know I'm weak :(( We just have a lot of history and he just knows me so well and he's hard to resist when he wants something

Ames👯‍♀️: So are you back together then?

You: No of course not

Ames👯‍♀️: So you're just sleeping with him? I thought that wasn't what you wanted

You: No I swear that was the last time. It was just for closure or whatever. He's just...we have a lot of history you know?

You: And not to get into dirty details but he's just...so good you know?

Ames👯‍♀️: Yeah please don't elaborate

Ames👯‍♀️: You have to stop seeing him babe

You: I know. I think I got it out of my system

Ames👯‍♀️: Next weekend we're going out to take your mind off him. We'll get dressed up, go out the whole thing

You: Good idea!

Ames👯‍♀️: Try not to sleep with Harry until then

You: You have my word!

*.*

Harry: Hey I think I might've left a couple things last time I was over. Mind if I swing by?

Baby🍒: What did you leave? I'll get it together for you

Harry: You don't have to do that. I'll be quick I promise

Harry: Unless...

Baby 🍒: Unless what?

Harry: ;)))

Baby🍒: I already told you that was the last time

Baby🍒: And don't even start because it was a great last time

Harry: JUST great? What do I have to do to make it excellent?

Baby🍒: I'm not answering that

Harry: Sooo there's an answer??

Harry: Let's see...maybe riding my thigh? You've always had a thing for my tattoos

Baby🍒: Stop

Harry: Reverse cowgirl?

Baby🍒 is typing...

Harry: Reverse cowgirl in my shirt?

Baby🍒: I don't like this game

Harry: That's because I'm right

Harry: Oh I know! We didn't do it in the shower

Harry: Let me and the showerhead make it up to you. Please???

Baby🍒: Swing by in an hour. I'll have your stuff for you

Harry: And...

Baby🍒 sent an image

Harry: Fuck baby

Harry: I don't think I can wait an hour. I'm calling and you better pick up

*.*

Your ex (don't pick up!): Baby...

Your ex (don't pick up!): You're killing me

Your ex (don't pick up!): Posting a picture like that just to tease me? That's mean

Your ex (don't pick up!) sent an image

(ten minutes later)

Your ex (don't pick up!): Don't ignore me now baby. Let me know when you're back I'll come over

You: Not your baby Harry

Your ex (don't pick up!): Oh come on don't be like that

Your ex (don't pick up!): And since when do you call me Harry??

You: Leave me alone

You: I'm finally moving on from you

Your ex (don't pick up!): Really? So yesterday was the last last last last last time?

You: Yes. We broke up for a reason. I'm not falling back into old habits with you

Your ex (don't pick up!) is typing...

(one minute later)

Your ex (don't pick up!): That sounds like some shit Amy would say

You: You caught me. I confiscated Y/n's phone for the night. She's having fun and meeting new people that aren't you. Maybe she'll even go home with one of them

Your ex (don't pick up!) is typing...

Your ex (don't pick up!): Bullshit

Your ex (don't pick up!): She was in my bed last night. I'll spare you the details but I don't think she's interested in going home with someone else

You: Maybe she will maybe she won't. It's her choice. You two are broken up. It's time you start acting like it

Your ex (don't pick up!): What if I don't want to be? Y/n is the one who broke up with me out of nowhere

You: Because you took your relationship for granted! And she doesn't want to wait for you to grow up Harry. Let her find someone who deserves her

Your ex (don't pick up!): Fine. Whatever.

*.*

(the next day)

Harry: I didn't take my relationship with Y/n for granted did I?

Niall (Whore)an: ...

Harry: Seriously?!

Niall (Whore)an: not for granted but...

Niall (Whore)an: but you went out with her less and less in the last year

Niall (Whore)an: and to be honest even i had a hard time figuring out what the whole situation was between you two

Harry: So because I didn't want to suffocate my girlfriend I'm a bad boyfriend?

Niall (Whore)an: i didn't say that! need i remind you you came to me for help

Harry: I know I'm sorry

Harry: I just don't want her to move on. What do I do?

Niall (Whore)an: maybe stop sleeping with her and actually talk to her.

Niall (Whore)an: and don't bother pretending. i know you're still hooking up

Harry: I'm taking what I can get man. It's the cold shoulder unless we're fucking

Niall (Whore)an: don't. you need to show her you're more than just a late night booty call

Harry: You know I've never really done the whole relationship thing before. Y/n was the first and I clearly failed epically

Niall (Whore)an: what do you want then? a relationship or a situationship?

Harry: With her I always wanted more, but I don't know how to BE more

Niall (Whore)an: start with no more hooking up. she'll never see you as more if you keep giving in or offering yourself to her that way

Harry: What if that just pushes her away for good?

Niall (Whore)an: it won't

*.*

Baby🍒: Come over?

Harry: I can't. I promised Niall I'd be his wingman tonight

Baby🍒: You can come after? Amy's spending the night with her girlfriend

Harry: Must be nice

Baby🍒: What's that supposed to mean?

Harry: Nothing. I just can't tonight.

Baby🍒: You haven't come over in forever

Harry: Like you've said a hundred times, we're not together anymore

Baby🍒: When has that ever stopped you?

Harry: I guess I realized I want more

Harry: I know now that I wasn't the best boyfriend, but I want to be

Baby🍒: What are you saying H?

Harry: If you'll let me, I'd like a second chance. I want to take us seriously. I know I wasn't the best boyfriend in the world the first time around but maybe we can talk about it? Lay all our cards on the table and figure out where we go from there?

Baby🍒 is typing...

Baby🍒: I don't know if that's what I want

Baby🍒: We did this whole back and forth thing for two whole years and you're now realizing you're ready for a relationship? I just think that window is closed

(four minutes later)

Baby🍒: H?

Harry: I get it. I'm sorry I couldn't get my act together soon enough for you

Harry: I hope you find someone who gives you exactly what you need

Baby🍒: Thank you

*.*

(one month later)

You are typing...

You: Hey

You: It was nice seeing you last night

Harry S.: Yeah. You looked good

You: So did you

You: Sorry if this is awkward I feel like I don't know how to talk to you

You: Maybe I shouldn't have said anything in the first place

Harry S.: Why did you?

You are typing...

You: I don't know

You: That's a lie. I know exactly why but it's embarrassing

Harry S.: What is?

You: I saw you

Harry S.: I know I saw you too

You: No I mean I SAW you. With another girl

Harry S.: Oh

You: And I guess I just got jealous which is totally stupid

You: But I think it made me realize what we could've had

You: And that sucks because I still really care about you even though I tried to pretend I didn't. I just didn't want you to hurt me anymore than you already had

You: You were ready and I pushed you away when maybe I shouldn't have

Harry S. is typing...

(five minutes later)

You: And...I've definitely scared you off. Or your girlfriend saw this

You: I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything

(twenty minutes later)

Harry S.: Where are you?

(ten minutes later)

You: What?

You: Sorry I just got out of the shower

You: Is that you banging on the door??

Harry S.: Yes!!

Harry S.: Come answer it it's freezing out here!

You: I thought you were with that girl

Harry S.: She came up to me at the bar

Harry S.: I haven't been with anyone since we broke up. I told you I was serious baby

You: You waited for me?

Harry S.: Of course baby

Harry S.: Now can you let me in so I can confess my undying love for you in person?

You: Coming!

Harry S.: You will be ;))

#Spotify #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

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steviewashere · 2 days

Text

Balls in Laundry Baskets: An Apology

Rating: Teen and Up CW: Bitchy/Mean Steve Harrington, Mean Eddie Munson (Both Briefly and For Good Reason) Tags: Post Season 4, Post Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Steve Harrington & Lucas Sinclair Friendship, Eddie Munson Gets Put in His Place, Lucas Sinclair is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Protective Steve Harrington, Emotionally Hurt Lucas Sinclair, Emotionally Hurt Steve Harrington, Established Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Means Well He's Just Defensive, Hurt People Hurt Others

This is chapter one, which also includes the first two pages that I already posted. Please keep your expectations low, as I'm still working on the second and final chapter.

Read on AO3

🏀—————🏀 “So, you and Eddie, huh?”

Steve startles at the sound of a voice, deep and hushed, from where he’s been waiting in Hawkins High’s parking lot. Hellfire was supposed to be out by now—6:50pm if his watch is correct—it’s their first time back since March and it would be cordial. But it seems that only Lucas got that memo.

“Jesus Christ, Sinclair!” He yelps. Holds his right palm flat against his chest, trying his best to rescind the spike of panic that is crawling through him. “I thought I told you to quit doing that,” he harshly whispers, rubbing his palm against his shirt. The scratchy material of his polo a balm against his nerves.

“Sorry,” Lucas sheepishly murmurs. Speaking at a normal volume, he asks again, “So, you and Eddie?”

He rolls his eyes. “What about me and Eddie? Can’t I just hang out with the guy without being pestered?”

Lucas shrugs. “You can do whatever you want,” he states, but Steve can already tell there’s somehow more. “But I didn’t think you two would be…buddies. Considering how he feels about, y’know, sports and whatever.”

For a moment, Steve considers Lucas’s approach. His fidgeting hands and his slightly closed off eyes. The hunch to his shoulders and the general unease that accompanies talking about Eddie. Which, that’s particularly odd. Aren’t they buddies, Steve questions himself. Wrapped up in the Hellfire club, their mutual interest in Dungeons & Dragons, the ragtag group of nerds that they are—all of that is perfect for their oddball friendship, at least Steve thought so.

“What’s wrong with you and Eddie?” Steve asks, beating around the bush. He doesn’t do cryptic. And he especially doesn’t do it with somebody like Lucas, a kid already smarter than him by several margins.

There isn’t an answer right away. But Lucas’s shoulders drop. His eyes go from frustrated to…sad. “Remember my championship game?” He asks, though it seems a bit much of a topic change. What does this have to do with Eddie, Steve has to wonder.

“Well, yeah,” he answers instead, “I was there. Had a pathetic date with a girl I hardly enjoyed being around. Mocked Tammy Thompson with Robin. Watched you get that winning shot. It was a, genuinely, awesome championship game.” And that’s the truth. It’s the best one he’s ever witnessed. Which is saying something, considering he’d played several championship games. All of them, though, were major losses. He’ll take those to the grave with him, with how often his previous basketball teams teased him.

Lucas gives a harsh single nod, a small smile that whisks away as soon as it appears. “Right,” he mutters, “I remember.” He leans against the Beemer’s bumper, shoulder brushing with Steve’s. Looks forlorn towards the high school’s doors, where Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire bunch should be spilling out any moment now. Steve looks on with him. Listens as Lucas’s voice drops low, nearly angry, fully spiteful, “I begged Dustin and Mike to talk to Eddie about my game. To see if the Hellfire campaign—which would be happening the same night—could be moved. And I, look, I understand that D&D means a lot to all of them, it means something to me, too. But I was really hoping to see my friends there. If not my friends, then at least Erica.

“They didn’t move the campaign,” he states so bitter, Steve tastes the words on his own tongue, “apparently a game where you’re shooting ‘balls into laundry baskets’ is too…mainstream and norm-ie for Eddie. He refused to move his precious game. Then, get this, instead of getting some random kid to play, they egged Erica in.” Lucas drags his eyes away from the school, head turning slow to look at Steve. He follows suit, eyeing Lucas back. His stomach churns with the vitriol painting itself unsubtly across Lucas’s face. “Color me surprised, I guess, that he’s going out with a jock,” he states, voice carefully blank of anything.

Steve stares on at him. He didn’t know this was the case at all. Remembers getting the phone call about Dustin wanting him to play, but he figured that had something to do with him bugging Steve for the millionth time. Because that was something Dustin wanted. For Steve to play. And, granted, Steve refused because it was too nerdy—unimportant and embarrassing. Yet, now he’s looking into Lucas’s face. Where hurt etches itself like solid lines of chiseled marble. Being told, instead, that Eddie’s holding his own bias.

Maybe he hasn’t removed his biases towards high school nerds, not completely. But he’s coming undone from that mentality. Considering Nancy and Robin and Eddie—Dustin and Mike and Lucas—even Max, they’re all big nerds. They all have some sort of interest with Dungeons & Dragons or theater or video games and math. And he loves them all. Though, Steve’s never stopped to think about the opposite side of the coin. Tail-side, where balls in laundry baskets is considered taboo.

After a deep silence when Steve finally digests this information, his eyebrows furrow on their own accord. Mouth downturning into a harsh frown, one that he feels to the bottoms of his feet. He stops himself in time from balling his hands into fists, but the urge to do so snarls in him like a newly unmuzzled, wild dog. A dog, he thought, that he trained obedient away from his anger. But it seems like once the teeth are bared, they never truly hide away.

“That ass,” Steve snarks. “What—so I have to reconsider all my biases surrounding nerds, reconstruct how I view everybody around me, and realize how awesome it is. And—what—Eddie can just get away with that…bullshit? That’s…What the hell?” There’s a little bit more of a bite to his words than he had anticipated. But it really isn’t fair. The table turns and he’s better for it, sure, but Eddie just…That’s not fair. The dog growls louder, drool burbling in its chops, a bark forming in the back of its throat.

“That’s what I thought,” Lucas says, “and I know, I know, that Dustin and Mike tried everything in their power. And that Eddie was the one to, y’know, be the asshole. But I thought that maybe my friends would be on my side. That they’d skip the game, show Eddie up. Not get my little sister involved or have fun without me or…I don’t know.” And the way he says those last three words stings something acidic inside of Steve. Corrosion and battery acid hot and alive in his stomach. Anger reaching the surface of his skin, words crawling and resonating in his mouth.

The doors to the school open distantly and Lucas suddenly perks back up, blossoming from where he was wilted against Steve’s car. “Doesn’t matter,” he chirps, though it’s all fake, “at least I can play with them now, which is awesome.”

But before he can stride away, to where his bike is parked and locked up, Steve snakes a hand onto Lucas’s wrist. They lock eyes again. “I’ll talk to him,” Steve swears, “he’ll apologize.”

“Steve, you don’t—“

“You used sports as a means to fit in, right? Granted, popularity’s not all that cool and you know that especially now. But it was a…a—“ He snaps his fingers, searching for the word. “—A cover, something to find security in. And you had that. And that’s what the D&D game is to Eddie. Sports is my D&D, too.” He loosens his grip on Lucas’s arm. Neither make any sort of move. “Just because you were trying to find your people doesn’t mean you can be…” He chooses his next words carefully. “Ostracized or outcast by those who you found safety with before. Especially when those guys orbit around each other for the same reason. I’ll talk to him,” he urges, “and he will apologize, or else.”

Lucas gives him a softened look. “Thanks, Steve,” he mutters, “I wasn’t looking to start anything, but I appreciate you having my back. It really means a lot.” And then he shuffles away, towards his bicycle, small chat starting up with Mike and Dustin.

When Steve turns back towards the school, Eddie is sauntering towards him. Eyes wide. Smile big and easy. Yet, his soft features are all too nauseating to Steve’s chest right now. His heart aches. If Eddie thinks of Lucas’s interests that way, what does he think of mine?

He tamps down his annoyance and anger. Because Eddie takes his hand and is looking at him as if the world belongs to the two of them. But that hurt on Lucas’s face is like a dagger impaled in his brain when Eddie greets nice and low, “Hi, baby. Been thinking about you the entire time I was in there.”

Steve smiles, though it may come off as more of a grimace with how Eddie falters. “Been thinking about you, too,” he echoes. Though, thinking positively isn’t what he’s been doing, as far as anybody’s concerned. Beat around the bush, he tells himself. He takes a steadying breath, posture straightening, demeanor changing. Says with a sour tone, “I, uh, I think we need to have a little talk in the car, if that’s okay? It’s not a breakup thing, but it might make you…somebody might get mad and I don’t want to cage you in at my house.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathes. His eyes go distant very briefly. When he refocuses on Steve, something has hardened in his features. Steve’s throat goes tight. “It can’t wait until after our date night?” There’s a low amount of ire in his words already and Steve is momentarily caught in it. Until he lets his eyebrows scrunch down his face again, giving in to that tightness in his throat.

He sighs, annoyed already. “No, Eddie,” he bites without meaning to. “I need to talk to you now. I’m already upset about it and it’s not going to do me any good to just brush it off.” His hand releases from Eddie’s grip, falling heavy against his side. He turns towards his driver’s side door and stares back at where Eddie is rooted. “Come on,” he states lowly, “you were the one to tell me to talk about the shit that’s bothering me. Can’t ignore it just because it has to do with you.”

Bitchy is probably not the best approach to all of this, but Steve is already cornered out of options. He pulls his door open with more force than necessary. Slides into his seat, key into the ignition, and honks once at Eddie. Jarringly gestures at the passenger seat. Thankfully, there’s nobody else to witness the potential torrential fire that’s brewing in him. It’ll be just the two of them; though that realization stirs something sickly in Steve’s stomach.

Eddie gets in silently. Places his school bag in the footwell. And keeps his face pointed out the windshield. “What’s wrong?” He asks, though his voice is devoid and edging on irritated.

Steve rolls his eyes, though Eddie can’t see him. He sets his hands firmly on his steering wheel. Squeezes the leather for comfort, an instinct. And heaves a sigh, urging himself to be calmer about this. “I had a talk with Lucas,” he starts. “About, uh, about his championship game back in March.”

Next to him, Eddie immediately tenses.

He continues without acknowledgement. Keeps himself as leveled as possible. “He told me that you refused to move your game for his. That he was looking forward to having his friends, which I’m assuming includes you, watch him play. And I—I know how important that championship game was to him. Y’know, it’s one of the bigger—“

“Are you mad because I didn’t want to sit at some jock event?” Eddie interrupts, question clipped. Though there’s also mild amusement in his tone, as if Steve being upset is poposterous. He continues without any regard for Steve. “In a room full of, mind you, people who hate me?”

Steve tenses more than Eddie had. His shoulders hiking and his stomach knotting impossibly more. Finally lets the dog bark, gives in to whatever it wants. “You know what, Eddie?” He bitches back. “I am mad at you. In fact, I…I…I’m so fucking angry that you…you make this whole deal about ‘lost sheep’ and herding them in to play your game. You concern yourself with making a community for people who are lost to the crowd of cliques in that school. And it’s just—Lucas is one of those kids! He is, even if that means he wants to play basketball!”

The passenger seat squeaks. Clothes rustling as Eddie turns toward him. But Steve doesn’t rip his eyes from the windshield. If anything, he leans more towards the left, creating a deeper, larger space between them. His hands instinctively tighten on the steering wheel again.

“Yeah, I do pride myself on that,” Eddie spits. “I do. Which is why, honestly, it irks me that Lucas would pick a crowd full of assholes. A bunch of people who would never give him the time of day.”

Steve goes rigid at that. He was an asshole, too. He knows that. Eddie especially knows that. The Munson Doctrine wouldn’t exist without the inclusion of asshole jocks, Steve being near the top of the list. He tries to tell himself that Eddie doesn’t think of him that way, but it’s hard considering himself. Who he used to be. Instead, he takes another breath, this one longer and hopefully more steadying than the other ones have been.

“He went out for basketball for a sense of security,” Steve states slowly, verging on impatient. “To find somewhere to belong to. That’s all a freshman looks for—a group to be somebody with. And, you know, considering that he’s already sort of singled out for being one of a few black kids at the school…Belonging is kind of important to him.” He settles back into his seat, arms still stretched to their full length in front of him. His stomach is turning and his heart is racing. And why won’t Eddie just get this? “Even if the basketball team has a bunch of assholes, he still wanted to do it. He was celebrated for his skills, who he is—even if it was for a moment. Playing was, and probably still is, important to him. And you—“ Steve finally turns his head towards Eddie. Knows his eyes are shooting daggers, can see where they lodge themselves between Eddie’s ribs. He raises a finger and accuses, “—you made his game feel unimportant. None of his best friends came because they were toopreoccupied with your game.” His face grows unusually hot as his voice drags passionately. The words just tumbling, splattering between them. But he carries on like a fire fed, “They even got his little sister to play yourgame. And, you know what really hurt to hear? Lucas wanted at least Erica to watch. And she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there because of your game, Eddie. How do you think that looks to him?”

Eddie has the audacity to look cowed, appalled. His mouth agape and his eyes as two large craters on his face. And for the first time, probably ever, he is stunned into silence.

Steve looks away. Bitter. All that festers in him now is hurt, ache, sadness. He chews on his lip, inhales softly through his nose, and opens his mouth with a silent word. Finally, he murmurs, “When I came to the high school as a freshman, I did the exact same thing as Lucas did. I joined the basketball team. Not because I was good. Or because my dad forced me to, like everybody seems to think. It’s because I wanted to fit in.”

His eyes are stinging. Cheeks flushing even more with overwhelming, consuming emotion. Continues, “And, though I let the feeling eat away at me, it felt good to be protected by a camaraderie like that. Outside of the nerdy friend group I had in middle school, going into high school. It felt good. And—It’s not the same as why Lucas joined, I know that, but I can understand.

“On top of that, I never had friends or family members show up for me at my games. So, for me to know the hurt Lucas feels, that would be an understatement. What’s important to note, though, is that he had people in his life to be there for him and they didn’t show. They didn’t.”

The fight is draining out of him, but he has to solidify his point. Has to finish this or else. Thinks briefly that maybe he should quit while he’s ahead, but he can’t make himself do that. The ferocity engulfing him from the inside out all too much to ignore. He’s been beaten down before for Lucas, literally—oh so literally—but he’d do it again and again and again for that kid to find his footing. Including this…spat? One sided argument? This argument with his boyfriend.

“Even I was there,” he says, hollowly, “cheering him on. It just would’ve been nice, for him, to have more than just some washed up, ex-jock, nobody be there. Right? I’m sure you get where I’m coming from. You can understand what I’m saying.” He glances forlorn out his window. Can’t even muster the courage to look over at Eddie. He’s basically drained himself. Being vulnerable isn’t his forte, but he can be for the people around him. Even if it’s at the expense of his own well being. “Well, I thought you’d understand. Wanting to have a community, people to lean on, to make something of yourself. No matter the means. I just didn’t think you’d be part of the reason that Lucas feels so…so singular.”

He takes a deep breath, ignoring how nasally it is to his ears. And mutters, a final thing, “I didn’t think you viewed something that Lucas and I are into as so…nothing. I try my best to be better about what you like, but it seems that you don’t make that same effort. That’s not fair, Eddie. You should know that.”

Without much else to say and with Eddie’s eerie silence, he starts the car. Puts it into drive. And peels away into the silence of the long and stretching road.

Briefly, he thinks about turning on the radio or cranking down the window, but the air is too thick to move through. Even the slight turns of his steering wheel is enough to make him feel sick. He’s sick with how disgustingly to-the-point he had to be. Though, there’s no other way that Eddie would’ve listened. Not with how defensive he immediately got.

The original date night plan had been to go to his house, but he finds himself pulling into Forest Hills’ driveway. Past the dimly lit trailers and the striking quietness of Max’s home. He parks in the vacant spot next to Eddie’s van. Which, the van is broken down right now—the main reason Steve is even driving Eddie around. But, now what? Is Eddie mad at how mad Steve was? Is he going to realize that he doesn’t like Steve because of his interests, who he is? Is this it?

A gentle anxious thrum runs through Steve like the very blood he needs to exist.

He silences the car. And just sits with his hands in his lap. Looking blankly at Eddie’s front door.

“Your stop,” Steve murmurs.

Eddie takes a deep breath and sighs heavily through his nose. But he doesn’t make a move to open his door. To step out. To walk away from…all that Steve is and has been.

Steve turns to him, gestures loosely at the Munson’s. “Your stop,” he reiterates.

“I—“ Eddie musters, voice croaking and rough. “I didn’t realize that…I didn’t know Lucas was mad about that. I didn’t think it…mattered.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Steve bitterly states, “It’s not like you actually cared.”

“But I do,” Eddie insists, “I care so much about Lucas. And I care so much about you. I swear!” He finally moves, tossing himself in the seat to face Steve, flailing. His face a mournful thing, downturned and sad. Skin pale and his hands desperate and his voice urgent. “There’s no excuse, I know. But I just…The reason I look at jocks so awfully is because they’ve always turned on me, you know? They always downplay my interests and mock me and tease me for what I like. Which is why I have to show myself as the bigger guy, that I can take it. I just didn’t realize that I was doing it, too.”

Slowly, Steve crosses his arms over his chest. Fingers tightening over his biceps. “Real life and your friends are more important than biases, Eddie.”

“I see that now.”

“And I think that you…you love me? And that you like Lucas. But it’s just hard to feel that, for either of us, when you adamantly refuse to involve yourself in our interests. Even if it means attending some jock event. Even if it means sitting in a room full of people that hate you. Which, by the way, that isn’t true because Lucas and I both like you—I love you, even.” He faces Eddie again. His face a sure thing of great ache, based on Eddie’s own crestfallen eyes. “Maybe just…give us space for a couple days? Think about this. Apologize once you’ve given it some thought. I understand where the whole hating jocks thing comes from, but just think about how that hurts, too.”

Eddie takes a gasping breath. “But I’m sorry now, Stevie,” he swears, “I am. I’m so sorry.”

There’s part of those words that soothe Steve like aloe to a sunburn, but he can’t accept them. Knows that the sure sting of the burn will still be there if he lets Eddie do this now. So he collects himself, mulls the words, and defends himself—for once. “I’ll accept that when it doesn’t feel like you’re saying it just to make me feel better. I want you to mean it. And I want you to apologize to Lucas first.”

He watches Eddie nod fervently, sharply. His hands twisting together in his lap and his eyes wetting, shoved harshly to the side. “Yeah, okay,” his voice trembles, “okay, I’ll fix this.”

Carefully, Steve takes Eddie’s hands. Tugs them until Eddie looks at him. Involuntarily, he makes a soft, sympathetic noise. It’s clear in the wetness of Eddie’s eyes that he’s determined to change this, to make this better. It’s clear that he didn’t mean to hurt this severely. He presses deep into the back of Eddie’s hands, tethering himself down to the earth, away from the cloud of anger that threatens to swallow him whole.

“Hey,” he murmurs, “listen to me, baby. I know that you’re sorry. I know, okay? But Lucas won’t know that, he’ll probably think you’re saying it to get on his good side. And…maybe you are, a bit, but it’ll be better if you really mean it. Trust me.” He swipes his thumbs over Eddie’s knuckles, massages them to ease the tension. “I still love you. I’m still learning, too, to love your interests with my full heart. And I know that it’s hard to let go of stupid biases, but you’ll be better for it. You will, Eds, and you’ll find you actually feel good.” Steve runs his hands up Eddie’s arms, to his shoulders, the sides of his neck.

Gently, he cups Eddie’s face between his hands. Presses his thumbs underneath Eddie’s eyes.

Eddie softens, loosening. Breathes slowly onto Steve’s wrists. “I’ll make this right, Steve,” he promises quietly, “I want to love both of you guys right.”

“I believe you,” he whispers in turn, “you’re a good guy, Eddie. You’ve got a good soul and a good heart. But you just need to relearn some things, baby.” He leans in, softly pecks the soft tissue of Eddie’s facial scar, and pulls away. Reaches up and runs a hand through the wiry ends of Eddie’s curls. Finds that he does mean the softness in his words, even with the bitter edge in his chest. He murmurs, “Let’s cool off tonight, because I know we’re both upset. And we’ll reconvene in a couple days, after my shift. I’ll help you come up with a good apology, promise.”

“Okay,” Eddie mutters, sniffling.

“I love you,” he feels the need to remind.

“I love you, too, Stevie. And I mean that. I really do.”

🏀—————🏀

Taglist (Open For Chapter Two): @wonderland-girl143-blog @tinyplanet95 @sharingisntkaren @ghostquer @practicallybegging @croatoan-like-its-hot @reinedslys-central

#stranger things #Steve Harrington & Lucas Sinclair #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #lucas sinclair #angst and hurt/comfort #Eddie Munson & Lucas Sinclair

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ayeforscotland · 1 day

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I'm not a super dedicated gamer these days, but I loved Kerbal Space Program (a game that was more a labour of love than a commercial project) and was super hyped for the much delayed KSP2. When I saw it was releasing as early access (years late) I worried for its hopes of ever seeing completion and held off buying, now after all the other shananigans the entire team have been let go in yet another mass lay-off in the gaming industry. I feel like, a few notable exceptions aside, the big-budget gaming sector has been failing to deliver real quality games for a long time now, with lower-budget indie games more often coming up with gold from much simpler foundations. It seems almost as though developers are being pushed to shoot for unachievably epic games and releasing buggy messes, or vast but hollow worlds when the publishers get impatient or the money runs out. Is there any grain of truth in my feeling that bankrollers' expectations for games is leading to more games failing to live up to the hype as projects spiral out of control and over budget? Would big studios benefit from learning from indie devs and aiming to really nail down a simpler scope but on a scale beyond what the indies can achieve?

Industry-wise there’s a couple of things at play. And apologies for the length of this.

During the pandemic, there was a shitload of investment into the gaming industry as everyone was at home and many started playing games for the first time, so venture capital firms piled money in.

They were looking for a return on their investment, not really aiming to cultivate long-term studio success.

This puts pressure on the studio to get the game out the door quickly. That month or two of QA before launch just becomes overhead while you have a product that could be selling right now.

Chance to earn even more money for shareholders and execs? Welcome to microtransaction hell.

So that’s one side of it, investors/shareholders/execs forcing decisions that make games worse.

Next bit is partly influenced by the shareholder side of things but also a huge cultural side too. Lots of studios complete a project and then layoff staff because the next game isn’t ready to start being developed yet OR layoff staff because they don’t want to pay them OR staff leave to go and do something else (often due to lack of pay, lack of promotion etc)

And what this leads to is a *massive* corporate knowledge gap. People take their skills and knowledge and create voids. Voids that need to be filled by senior staff, which is why big AAA studios are always hiring seniors, and rarely hiring juniors. So all the seniors job-hop from studio to studio and there’s no new skill set being cultivated by new industry talent.

In my experience, these huge studios are also incredibly siloed. It’s something that impacts most industries, siloed teams lead to sluggish development and decision-making.

I think the games industry walks an incredibly fine line between being a creative endeavour and being a tech business. Process management methodologies honestly seem quite alien to the games industry, most of the time to its detriment.

It honestly wouldn’t be that hard to implement but Production as a discipline within games seems to be relegated to ‘staring at JIRA’ particularly in larger studios.

Could write forever about this to be honest.

Worth saying that indie studios also have their own issues. Almost everything is a scramble, and the search for publisher funding is a nightmare.

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wosoluver · 2 days

Note

I have a request for Lena Oberdorf x Bayern Reader.

On the topic of her transfer to Bayern. This request is full on fluff with maybe a little angst of them being apart.

Reunited

Can we please get one about Obi loving domestic life with Reader when they see each other (cooking together, cuddling while watching movies & even versing each other at video games). But misses it dearly when the two have to be apart for months on end due to their commitments with their respective clubs. Sure the two see each other during the national break but that’s not enough. So Obi decides to transfer to Bayern to be with Reader 24/7.

Reunited.

Lena x reader

"Finally reunited!" you said as you put your seatbelt on.

"Only for a little bit though." she said turning on the engine, to drive to her apartment from picking you up at the airport.

"Don't say that, we have a couple of days." you grabbed the hand she had in your thigh, intertwining your fingers and kissing the back of it.

"Sorry schatz. I swear, I'm very excited to spend time together."

You were a Bayern Munich player, and your girlfriend, well, she was one of your best rivals. She played for Wolfsburg.

You can say it took a lot of concessions, to make the relationship work.

"Okay love, I'm going to shower. Can you order dinner for us?"

"Yeah. Movie night or game night?"

"Game night!" you said disappearing into the bedroom's in suite.

"How does it feel to lose for the third time in a row?" she asked as you pouted your lips.

"You cheated this last round!"

"Well, all is fair in love and war." she tried to reason.

"And which one was it? Love or war?" she had distracted you, by removing her sweatshirt, staying in only a pair of shorts and a sports bra.

It would've been fine if she did it because she was hot. But she did it exactly to distract you. Flexing her muscles at any chance she got.

"Both. I wanted to win the game and I love to see you drooling." she said teasing you.

"I didn't drool!"

"You so did." she said pulling you to sit on her lap.

"Fine. How could I not? I'm dating the embodiment of a goddess."

That would have been enough, if she wasn't already turned on by you naturally.

"I think it's time we go to bed." she said with a naughty look on her face.

"Good Morning my love." she said kissing your temple. You opened your eyes, taking in Lena's sleepy and puffy face, as a ray of light came through the window.

"Good morning liebling. Slept well?"

"The best I have, since the last time we slept in the same bed." she would always bring up the fact you guys were separated by over 400 kilometers, constantly.

"In a couple of years, this will be our lives everyday." you reassured her, the best you could every time.

"I'll die of happiness when that happens."

This woman made your heart feel like it was about to explode.

"How about we cook some breakfast? I can make your favorite."

"Yes! I've been craving it." giving you a kiss before getting up. "Let's go."

"I've never seen you get up so fast in my life." as you followed her to get cleaned up.

"I don't know how you make this taste so good. Usually healthy versions of things taste like cardboard." as you prepared the pancake batter.

"We can't really break our diets, so. Also it's just a good recipe."

"Don't play it on the recipe. It's all you. Take a complement please."

"Thank you, schatz. How about we make a smoothie to complement it?"

"I'll start cutting the fruits." but before she could turn, you grabbed her attention.

"Hey..." you said dabbing a finger in the liquid and tapping it on her nose.

"Oh, it's on." letting out a mischievous grin.

You had the day all to yourselves. Not wanting to waste your time with anyone that wasn't each other, you decided upon watching movies. Only movies ever allowed to play by your girlfriend, was Disney movies. Not that you would ever complain. And you had chose the first one. Tangled.

Cuddling up to her. She was almost always the big spoon, only setting for other option when she felt extremely needy. So you laid on your back, as she placed her head on your chest, cuddling to your side the best she could, since you were a bit smaller than her.

You spent your time focusing partially on the movie and partially in gently combing her hair through you fingers and massaging her scalp.

"They are just like us. I'm obviously Flynn, good looking, funny, has a hot girlfriend."

"And I look nothing like Rapunzel."

"No, but you would probably defend yourself with a frying pan, if someone broke into the apartment."

She never failed at making you laugh. You loved that about her.

Every time you spent more time around eachother, she was more and more sure, of wanting to marry you. Of taking the decision to ask for a transfer.

She hadn't brought up yet. She was waiting till it felt like it was the right moment.

While you held each other under the blankets, you noticed she wasn't paying attention at all. So you brought up what you thought was bothering her.

"Aren't you supposed to be looking for a new apartment? I thought your lease was ending this summer."

"I've looked at some but, not one of them felt right." she mustered all her courage for her next words. It was now or now.

"It will only feel like a home, if I have you with me."

"What do you mean?"

"What if I moved to Munich?"

"That would be amazing! Are you planning to leave Wolfsburg next year?"

"Actually, I'm asking for a transfer over the summer."

"Are you messing with me?"

"I'm serious. All is fair in love and war, I want to move into a more competitive club and I want to be with you, close to you, not having to take a plane just to kiss you."

"You are?" You instantly jumped up on the bed.

"Yes." she said laughing as you jumped on the bed.

You landed on top of her. Pulling her into a hug.

"Love, I can't breathe properly." she said under you.

"Sorry, right, you have to be alive for that to happen." she pulled you back to her.

"I love you." she left a kiss on your forehead.

"And I love you." you said placing a kiss on her lips.

Hope you like it! Thanks for sending this in 🩷

#woso x reader #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #dfb frauen #futfem

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izzytheloser12 · 3 days

Text

~~~Since yall like the other incorrect quotes i've made more~~~

Kaito: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!

~~~~~~~

Akako: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

~~~~~~~~

*Yusaku goes shopping with child Shinichi*

Shinichi: Can I get a silenced pistol? Yusaku: If there’s one on sale.

~~~~~~~~~

*kaito and Aoko are having a sleepover*

Kaito: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner. Aoko: Kaito, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck. Kaito: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not. Aoko: Well, I mean yeah. Kaito: So come downstairs while they’re still hot. Aoko: Wait, you just made them? Kaito: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets. Aoko: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Kaito.

~~~~~~~~~

Ran: Truth or dare? Shinichi: Truth. Ran: How many hours have you slept this week? Shinichi: Shinichi: Dare. Ran: Go to sleep. Shinichi: I don't like this game.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Kaito: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

~~~~~~

Kaito, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often? Shinichi, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Did Kaito just tell me he loved me for the first time? Heiji: Yeah, he did. Shinichi: And did I just do finger guns back? Heiji: Yeah, you did.

~~~~~~~

Hakuba: I asked Heiji out. Kaito: Oh, I’m sorry. Hakuba: Why? Kaito: Well, I assume they said no. Hakuba: No, they said yes. Kaito: Really? Then I’m sorry for them.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Fight me! Kaito: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Kaito: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hakuba: Regular soda is too sweet! Kaito: Diet soda has a weird after taste! Hakuba: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY! Kaito: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda! Hakuba: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink! Kaito: I'm going to physically attack you. Hakuba: Which is better, Shinichi? Shinichi: Oh, I usually drink water! Kaito: Wha- NO! Hakuba: DISGUSTING!

~~~~~~~~

Sonoko: Seriously, I have no idea what to do. Sonoko: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.

~~~~~~~

Sonoko, texting: Answer your phone Ran, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone Sonoko: Understood Sonoko, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Ran.

~~~~~~~~

Kazuha: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Ran: I wrote you a poem. Kazuha, already crying: You did?

~~~~~

Kazuha: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Sonoko: Did Ran say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? Kazuha: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

~~~~~~~

*Shinichi is babysitting Ayumi*

Shinichi: Come on, you need to go to bed. Ayumi: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die! Shinichi: … Shinichi: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Haibara made me get tested.

~~~~~~~

Haibara: Why are we friends? Conan: Poor decisions on your part.

~~~~~~~~

Akako: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. Aoko: Ok. Akako: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

~~~~~~~

*after Yukiko and Shinichi got into a fight*

Yukiko: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Shinichi: Climbing THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

~~~~~~

Akako: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into- Aoko: You sleep with a teddybear. Akako: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

~~~~~

Kaito: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Shinichi: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

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lucy90712 · 2 days

Note

reader x pedri where pedri gets taken care of/sleepy and tired

Today has been a long day my boyfriend Pedri had to leave the house quite early this morning as he had an away game this evening so I had to wake up and say goodbye and wish him good luck. The team played really well and they got a good win which I wish I could've been there to see but I can never really go to away games as I have other things to do at home. The one thing I try and always do is stay up to greet Pedri when he comes home even if it's late I like to see him to either congratulate or console him based on the result. Every time he tells me not to stay up but I know he likes it when I'm there to greet him at the door.

Tonight's game was a champions league game so the team have a bit of a longer flight but I got a text around 20 minutes ago from Pedri telling me he's on his way home. That means he should be home any minute now at nearly 3am and hopefully we can both go to bed because I'm exhausted so I can't imagine how tired Pedri is. I heard a car pulling into the driveway and our security cameras confirmed that it was Pedri which I knew it would be but I always have to check. It took a few minutes but eventually I heard the front door opening so I got myself up to greet Pedri, as soon as I saw him I could tell he was exhausted and a lot more than usual. His eyes looked really tired and he didn't seem to have any energy left as he dropped his bag on the floor and nearly fell over taking his shoes off.

"Hey love congratulations you did so well out there" I said

"Thanks it was good to play again" Pedri said coming over and putting his arms around my waist and his head in the crook of my neck

"You should've gone to bed it's late and you have work in the morning" Pedri said still attached to me

"You know I like to wait for you to come home plus I can't sleep knowing you are on your way home how about we go to bed now though I can tell you are really tired" I said

Instead of letting go of me so we could go to bed he only held onto me tighter. Pedri can be clingy sometimes but I've never seen him this clingy usually he just wants my attention for a bit so we will cuddle but right now it seems as though he won't survive if he's isn't attached to me. I know it's because he's tried and in the morning since he's had some sleep he won't be this clingy but I kind of love it. We don't often get much time together sometimes so it's moments like this that I love to just soak up but we can't stand here all night because Pedri's right I do have work in the morning and he clearly needs sleep too.

I felt awful trying to escape his arms but I knew he understood because he didn't put up a fight instead he just grabbed my hand and we walked upstairs together. I got ready for bed hours ago but Pedri still needed to brush his teeth and get changed so I left him to do that while I sorted his stuff out for him. Usually when he gets home after an away game he leaves his bag by the door and deals with it in the morning but tonight I decided I'd just do it for him. All I had to do was put some things in the wash and put away everything else which didn't take me too long. While putting things away I noticed that Pedri had one of the matching bracelets we got when we first started dating from a tourist shop as a joke. Of course I still have mine too but I didn't realise that he took his with him to games and that just melted my heart as he's secretly such a sentimental person and no one else gets to really see that side of him.

By the time I had sorted everything out and went back to the bedroom Pedri was already in bed but he had sorted out the pillows on my side of the bed and had the covers prepared for me to just get in. I crawled in and straight away Pedri put his arms around my waist and cuddled into my side moving around until he was comfortable. Most nights he likes me to sleep nearly on top of him but sometimes he's a bit more cuddly like tonight and I love that. Pedri is always taking care of me just in general but especially when I've had a long day and I'm tired so getting to do the same for him feels really good and I feel like I'm finally getting to give back a fraction of what he does for me.

As much as he’s tired he won’t go to sleep until he knows I’m settled and ok so to get him to go to sleep I started running my hands through his hair. He loves when I play with his hair and scratch his scalp it nearly always sends him to sleep. As soon as my hands touched his hair he tucked his head further into my neck and I could hear his breathing slow down as he finally let himself relax. Pedri was right on the verge of falling asleep but I still felt him gently kiss my neck as he realised he hadn’t kissed me goodnight which he does every night.

“Goodnight love you” Pedri whispered

“Love you too now get some sleep” I whispered back kissing his head

Within minutes he was lightly snoring but I stayed up for a bit longer making sure he was sleep before I too went to sleep to get a few hours sleep before I have to get up for work.

#pedri imagine #pedri x reader #pedri #football imagine #pedri gonzalez imagine

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factual-fantasy · 3 days

Note

Greetings as always Factual! You've been on a role answering asks lately-and I'm so glad to see you mention in a few that you've been doing better- and that you will soon have some doctors visits to hopefully get everything figured out, so this whole ordeal can finally be over! Till then, Keep on keeping on as always, and if you don't mind, I have a few small Asks as usual.

Firstly, regarding the Mario AU, you'll recall in the past confirming that King K Rool would retain his place as an enemy that threatens the Kongs of DK island from the outside in some shape or form- but i wonder, would your AU also contain an interpretation of the threat that came from within the island- the nefarious Tiki Tak Tribe?

In the recent DK games, the tribe has slowly been revealed as an ancient race who was imprisoned in the islands volcano by unknown means- and upon escaping they sought to reclaim their kingdom, before being bested by the Kongs once more for the time being- though they continue to make cameos and appearances here and their- including a ride in the upcoming DK Nintendo world expansion! So would you perhaps incorporate them into your story as well? Or scrap them for the sake of simplicity? If you did include them, I wonder if DK and K Rool would unite to take them on as one- and perhaps you could find ways to connect them to the other kingdoms? For example, it'd be one heck of a reveal that it was KAMEK who sealed them in that volcano, so long ago...

On another note, thanks for answering my last question about Bash Buggy! Hope everything turns out well for him and his new life once the war's dust finally settles... And also regarding Transformers, I wanted to ask if you have yet seen the trailer for the new upcoming movie, transformers One, and what your first thoughts and impressions are of it?

I've seen A lot of people already hating on it because of the trailers light hearted, comedic tones, or the more expressive character designs- but personally, I really like it so far! In my opinion, it's a welcome change of pace from the humorless, senselessly violent Bayverse movies, and their over-designed, chaotic character models- I think it really has potential- especially since they've confirmed it will have some more serious moments, and several Transformers prime characters will even be returning- including Arachnid, and the Vehicons! But what say you? Any hopes for it? Things you want to see?

Thank you! I'm hoping this is all over soon. Because this whole ordeal has completely wiped me out physically and mentally. It sure would be nice to finally feel better and go back to functioning like a normal human- 💀💀

As for the Tiki Tak tribe.. no idea what I'm gonna do with them.. I'd have to think about it. Kamek can't be responsible for everything <XD

As for Transformers.. I always liked the more serious tone that some shows/movies take. So I can imagine I wouldn't like this new movie because of that.. but tbh the only characters I care about is Optimus and Ratchet XDD as long as they're characterized well I think I can live with the movie 👍👍

#my response

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sincerely-sofie · 2 days

Text

Chapter 1 of Sofie Plays "Slay the Princess": The Hero and the Princess

Into the insanity.

[ Beginning ] - [ Previous Part ] - [ Next Part ]

I like that we have a little bird talon as our cursor! Fun detail. I'd like to use custom cursors in my own visual novels someday.

Awww! This line is going to come back to bite me, isn't it.

THERE'S VOICE ACTING?????? DANG IT. Now I kinda wish I waited to record myself playing through this game like a let's play... alas. We persist with a playthrough journal comprised of still images and bullet point notes :<

Asked the Narrator how a princess locked in a basement could be dangerous enough to end the world and now I just want to have a perpetual sleepover with the gal. At the very least, we can give her some company while she's down there. Right?

Asked the narrator for details on how she'd end the world and now he's calling me a sheeple. RUDE.

Question: Does the Princess have actual powers that allow her to enforce her will on others? Or is this just the Narrator being anti-princess? or anti-this-Princess-in-particular?

I INSTANTLY DISTRUST THIS MAN. He's going to gaslight me to heck and back, isn't he? He already is, I just know it.

Told the narrator I'm going to meet the Princess before I make any decisions about executions. I'm doubting myself so bad. Is he the manipulator here? Is he genuinely warning me against the Princess being the true manipulator? He sounds uber bitter and I want to know their history.

Narrator, honey, I'm glad you've got a bit you're committed to and all, but I don't want to meet someone new whilst holding the means to end them. Forget taking the blade, I'm taking my sweet time getting to know this poor woman.

Okay yeah the Narrator is 100% not a good guy. That last line made me question whether he was voicing the Hero's thoughts, but the tone he used while saying it makes me feel like he's just working really hard at applying for the role of Intrusive Thought #4 Understudy.

THESE DIALOGUE OPTIONS ARE KILLING ME. NOOOOOO DO NOT LIE TO HER WHEN YOU SAY YOU'RE HERE TO SAVE HER!!! THAT'S MEAN!!!!!

Told the Princess "Uh hi I think I'm here to slay you? Question mark?" and she responded with this:

The Narrator immediately followed up with the below. Go kick rocks Narrator. I want to at least be polite if I'm going to kill someone.

Can't decide whether the Princess is playing at the role of innocent victim or not. We operate on innocent until proven guilty laws here, though. So I'll act accordingly.

Just met the Princess and the Hero is INSTANTLY simping for her as the Narrator looks on in distaste. Straight up "HI WIFEY" nonsense. I like this couple.

Oh my word he's a dork. I love this character.

Told her about why I'm supposed to kill her and I'm 100% believing what she said. I don't care if she's going to sprout fangs and disembowel me with her teeth or anything, I adore this gal.

Oh no. She accurately read my thought process.

Okay so here's a theory: The Narrator really hates monarchies. Which is fair. But this seems very personal for him, and he keeps bringing it up, like the Princess deserves to die for the sin of her being a princess. Is this some kind of worldwide magic anti-monarchist government overthow situation? I know that's definitely not the case but I am grasping at straws to understand his motivation.

I asked her how she's been eating or drinking when I'm apparently the only person she's seen in a very, very long time, and she dodged the question, and the Narrator backed her up. This lady is 100% not human. The Narrator is itching to get me to kill her and is sweeping over what the Hero perceives as a plot hole, because from his perspective, he knows it isn't. She's not human. Jotting that down for later.

I told her that we could do the perpetual sleepover thing I mentioned earlier and I'm realizing how callous of a solution that is now that the Hero is all like "Yay I came up with smart solution! Win-win! Go me :D"

The Princess and Narrator both shot down the sleepover solution. Poor Hero.

The music just cut out. She's doing the anime mean girl thing where she examines her nails. I'm having regrets.

I'M STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME ANYMORE, GUYS

On the one hand: I could lock her in the basement and leave without killing her with my own hands. But with the abrupt change in tone I am no longer confident that this woman isn't going to chew off her own arm like a coyote in a trap so that she can escape and do... whatever it is she intends to do. I'm not sure that's exactly ending the world. But I'm leery of it regardless. She doesn't need food or water apparently, so she likely wouldn't die if I left her alone down here, which just further cements the idea that she's going to do anything necessary to get out.

On the other hand: I could kill her directly, and try to be merciful about how I do it.

On the OTHER other hand, I could free her, but I no longer feel safe around this woman.

I've been staring at these options for so long guys I'm so worried about making the wrong choice. I know that the opening screen said there's no wrong decisions but like. STILL.

Okay, decision made. She's definitely taking the self-dismemberment route if I leave her here, and she's definitely coming after me the second she's out. I'd rather try to make this quick than go through the exceptionally frightening scenario I'm envisioning in my head. Hopefully she's nice about inevitably overpowering me in the subsequent struggle and stabbing me afterward.

Hey, you guys know how 3D horror games will use 90 degree angle blind corners in order to facilitate jump scares? I think I just realized visual novels use line breaks to accomplish the same goal, and I'm scared to progress to the next line.

SHE IS GOING TO CHEW THROUGH THAT ARM AND I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE ASAP.

I CALLED IT I CALLED IT I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT HAVING CALLED IT SOMEBODY PICK UP THE PHONE BECAUSE I CALLED IT AND NOW I NEED 911 ON THE LINE

Oh cool beans! Reality warping! Let's gooooooooo

Yeah no she's definitely got reality warping abilities. I figured that if she doesn't need to eat or drink she wouldn't be able to bleed to death after losing an arm, so I closed the door behind me... and it locked.

Decided to try and wait her out while she lurks in the shadows and now we're LARping Sans and Chara as I fall asleep.

I chickened out and entered the dark to confront her. It went very well for me!

Oh... I don't like that title.

See you guys in the next chapter! I am scared :)

#slay the princess #stp #sofie liveblogs stuff

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sid-the-sandwich · 20 hours

Text

Rewriting some of my least fav moments from Obey Me! (OG) Season 1

I was lying in bed, and I was just thinking about my fav and least fav moment from each season and how I would personally change them to make them better in my eyes. (I'll try as best to follow the plot, so it fits.)

This just contains 3 moments from the OG season 1.

there's going to be heavy spoilers below,

First change should be lesson 14, 15 and 16, honestly, I do like the 'Belphie attacking us' storyline, but I wasn't a fan of the time travel. I know why they did it; so, they could have Belphie say the line 'Hello there brothers' the way he does in the game but also have Belphie kill the MC. (I'm pretty sure Belphie’s character was built on this line [it says so in the early-stage references video])

So how would I change this? I would simply make both happen but in the same timeline. Belphie turns up and says his line then explaining how Lucifer locked him up, Beel gets angry and argues with Lucifer, this in turn makes the other 4 brothers (Mammon, Levi, Satan and Asmo) busy trying to diffuse the situation.

while this is happening, Belphie and MC stands to the side, where Belphie talks to MC just like how he does when we meet him before he kills us in lesson 16. MC can tell something is wrong just by the way of Belphie's voice and Belphie congratulates him on getting all 6 pacts; MC thinks, but realises they only got 5. after this Belphie chokes us for a few seconds until one of the brothers notice, making Lucifer and Beel stop fighting. it takes them a few moments to realise what is going on.

the brothers try to pry Belphie and MC away from each other but to no avail as even though Belphie is the youngest, he is decently strong and fuelled with festering rage for like thousands of years. lucifer is frozen in shock, which is different than he usually is.

During this, the MC has the visions of Lilith telling them it’s not their time yet and showing the flashback when they fall. MC in turn says Lilith’s name and mutters 'human' or 'Lilith human'. this makes Belphie tighten his grip saying not to say her name with their 'filthy mouth'.

But Lucifer realises what MC is trying to say and repeats saying, 'Lilith is, was human', this makes Belphie pause for the first time... his hand shakes; he refuses to accept it but Lucifer continues talking and explaining that night. This makes Belphie tear up and he drops MC rather harshly, Mammon catches MC and cradles them, crying and helping them breath.

Belphie turns to Lucifer and wraps his hands around his neck as if to strangle him... but he doesn't tighten his grip and his hands shake more; Belphie screams at Lucifer shouting insults at him, punching Lucifer in the stomach and chest in frustration. Lucifer doesn’t say anything how you'd expect and doesn’t scream but just holds/hugs Belphie after his breakdown, soothing him.

(NOTE: Diavolo and Barbatos aren’t present in this scene)

the second thing I want to change is after chapter 16, when the brothers surround MC, hugging them cuz they are part Lilith.

this is a simple change, this scene is going to take place in MC's bedroom, and the brothers are all doting on MC, not because they are part Lilith, but because they just got attacked and strangled. The brothers force MC to lay in bed so the brothers can attend to their (MC's) needs.

each brother will be doing something unique for MC:

Asmo would give MC a leg/ arm massage,

Beel will be feeding MC (and himself at the same time),

Satan would be reciting a bunch of spells for healing trying them all on MC,

Levi brings in a handheld console and a bunch of games, he also brings in a boxset of TSL,

Lucifer would tell MC they are allowed a singular day off RAD,

Mammon would tell everyone to leave MC alone, telling his brothers, they are getting too close.

meanwhile, standing in the corner awkwardly, Belphie stands there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do, he does feel regret but how does he even apologise to the human he almost killed?

then Diavolo and Barbatos comes to the MC's room for an unrelated reason, but seeing all the brothers surrounding MC, they get confused asking what happened.

Lucifer lies and just says MC wasn't feeling well and is resting. Diavolo sees Belphie and asks what Belphie is doing back from the human world (I'm assuming Dia thinks Belphie actually did go to the human world for the exchange program) and then Dia asks why Belphie isn’t joining his brothers with MC.

At this MC should be given a choice to 'defend' or passively aggressively reply, the 'defend' makes Belphie's intimacy go up. and the scene continues as normal.

The third thing I want to change is after this, is when Belphie latches onto MC (as if they were best buddies) and then uses the MC as a bridge between him and his brothers.

the way I would change this, is that I would make Belphie use his brothers as a bridge to apologise to MC, so the same things that happen in the game, happen, but the aim is to hang out with MC, for Belphie to show MC that he isn't all bad. this in turn also allows Belphie to get closer to his brothers as well. MC also notices Belphie passing quick glances at them in classes and stuff.

How Belphie uses the brothers to get closer to MC:

Mammon- Being MC's guardian, Mammon keeps MC close to him during RAD the days after the whole Belphie incident. after Lucifer announced Diavolo's birthday, Mammon drags MC to the music room, telling MC to keep a lookout as he looks for things to steal and turn a profit. MC spots Belphie, and MC tells Mammon. Belphie comes inside the room and accuses Mammon of trying to steal. Mammon disagrees in classic tsundere fashion becuz he can’t admit he wanted to get a gift for MC. Belphie suggests the 3 of them should get jobs so they can get Dia a gift. Mammon agrees becuz he wants money and MC can agree either enthusiastically or reluctantly (based on player choice). after this, the trio go and work at Hell's Kitchen and work their asses off, MC gets to see a calm and smart side to Belphie,

Levi- Levi and MC are hanging out in his room playing a videogame, until Levi's phone starts ringing uncontrollably. At first, he ignores it, but after like 5 rings, Levi answers despite being in the middle of a game; Levi is rightfully annoyed. Levi simply agrees on the phone becuz he's a people pleaser and then his expression becomes wary and panicked, MC can ask what’s wrong or just not mention anything, (depends on player choice) either way, Levi will tell the player that Belphie wants to play games with them and how it’s going to be awkward with all three of them here, considering what happened. Belphie turns up anyway, and bursts into Levi’s room to play a game, they play and although tense at first, everything is normal as the game progresses and the trio plays games and gets closer. Belphie falls asleep midgame, and his head is drooping. MC is given the choice of either placing Belphie’s head on the player’s lap or Levi’s lap (Placing on the players lap will up intimacy). Either way Levi will tell MC that Belphie is a lot like a little cat that loves naps.

Satan- This will happen a lot like it is in the game, except it is MC and Satan playing cards in MC's room. Belphie interrupts, saying how Lucifer was calling for Satan. Satan grumbles but goes without much resistance. this only leaves Belphie and MC alone in the room. its awkward silence so Belphie mentions how weird Satan is acting considering he just readily agreed with Lucifer. MC mentions about the changing relationship between Lucifer and Satan and what happened. After a while, Satan returns, stating he overheard everything and comments how he still loves to torment lucifer just to see him suffer. Belphie then suggests the 'Anti-Lucifer League', an idea he thought of in the attic. Satan and Belphie drag MC to the library where they officially initiate the club, making MC a member as per Satan's request. MC can see a playful side of Belphie from this.

Asmo- MC is with Solomon shopping for a gift for Diavolo, where they bump into Belphie. Belphie questions what they are doing and they state they were shopping. Belphie says he was with Asmo, but Asmo got distracted. Solomon, being the nosey man he is asks if Belphie has made a pact with MC yet, and then asks for one himself. Belphie refuses both questions. then the trio walk until they must split ways, Solomon says goodbye, leaving Belphie and MC alone to walk home. when they get back home, Asmo drags them into his room to choose clothes, the trio chat and giggle.

Beel- Beel's is going to stay the same as to what it is in-game, it’s a good contrast to the rest. it shows MC the love between Belphie and his brothers. Also its really cute and wholesome

Lucifer- Lucifer's is also going to stay the same, it gives Belphie closure with what happened to Lillith.

Also adding one thing i forgot earlier but had in the back of my mind; this is not really to do with the story chapters but rather the texts between Belphie and MC, I wanted to change this. Belphie would not text MC directly at first, instead, he would text the brothers (in order we hang with them in-game) asking them about MC. And only after Lucifer, Belphie will text us for the first time directly.

I'm finally done, this took hours to complete, pls comments what else you think should be changed in the game.

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smallidarity-rpf · 22 hours

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HIIIHIHI TUMBLR USER SMALLIDARITY-RPF can I get some smallidarity of the hurt/comfort variety with Joel getting comforted maybe for a change or jimmy idk I just need more fluffy smallidarity pretty please okay bye

Hell yeah! Sorry it took so long I didn't realize job would tire me out so much yesterday-

Fair warning, I couldn't think of a setting like when and where this takes place- just knew i wanted a life game so like- details on that is vague, hope it's alright-

_______________________

Joel was lying in bed curled up, his eyes puffy from crying. He was tough, he was strong, he wasn't someone who cried- but he was alone, and he couldn't stop himself. It's easy to save face around everyone during these games, but once the session was over… once he was alone… He shouldn't have cried, not over Timmy of all people. Of course he died, he always does! It's just… Joel couldn't understand why it felt different this time, was it because he saw Tim die? Because for once he'd actually hoped that stupid canary wouldn't? He didn't know. All Joel knew right now was his bed and the itch left in his eyes as they dried and the salt left started to crust up.

“Wow you look terrible!” A familiar voice laughed out through the empty room, and Joel quickly sat up and rubbed his eyes. Both wanting to hide the evidence and see if he was crazy.

There at the end of his bed was Jimmy- well it looked like Jim, but they were a transparent blueish-gray and emitted a slight glow. Joel stared wide eyed as the entity slowly began to smirk. “Did you miss me that much?” And yep, that was Tim’s voice.

“Jimmy!?” He called and pushed up in bed, getting onto all fours to crawl closer, “You- but you-”

“I’m dead?”

“You died!” He announced, laughing a bit hysterically. It was impossible, the only way they should be there was with spectator-

“Yeah, something’s going on so I'm a ghost for a bit.” Jimmy shrugged, “I thought I'd visit you though before it's fixed.” Tim smiled and quickly sat on the bed next to Joel, who stared absolutely dumbfounded. “So, what’ve you been up to?” Joel stared at their expectant look and slowly sat next to them, shivering a bit- Tim was cold.

“Uhm… killed some people uh-” Joel stared into Jim's eyes and went quiet, he couldn't find his words. As he stared though the other frowned.

“Have you really been crying?” A cold hand was placed onto Joel's cheek as Jim gently rubbed a thumb under his eye. “Are you doing okay…?” Jim's head tilted to the side as he asked, Joel watching his features. Same Jimmy as always.

“W- well you- you died what do you think!” Joel was quick to retort, trying to hide what he'd been feeling. A blush spread onto his cheeks as he went to shove Jim away- but only ended up falling through the other. Right, ghost.

Jimmy looked down at Joel and smiled softly, “I dunno,” his smile became lopsided, “thought you didn't care that much.” He shrugged and thread cold fingers through Joel's hair. He almost closed his eyes, it felt nice.

“Of course I care,” The shorter grumbled and sat up, frowning as Jim's fingers left him. “you’re still my friend, I'm still watching you die…” He meant for it to come out sharp, but instead his words were soft, melancholy even as he thought about how much he'd seen Jim's massive and goofy grin stolen away from him in blood.

When Joel looked back at the blond he was frowning softly, looking at Joel with pity- no, it was something else, something kinder but he couldn't place it. “Oh… I never thought- I didn't realize-” Jim tried to say but stopped, glancing away as he found his words. “Everyone… Everyone always treats my death as a joke, I didn't think it'd ever be… well y’know, that big of a deal…” Joel frowned, feeling a bit guilty about all the canary jokes all of a sudden. “Well-” Jim smiled at Joel, “at least now I know you're soft!” He teased, his tongue sticking out.

Joel took the bait, suddenly smiling as he tried to look annoyed, “What! Me soft!? No no- I'd never be soft!” He joked and smiled more as Tim laughed.

“Then what's with those red eyes!” Jim pushed a finger into Joel's face making him snicker quietly.

“Uh, red name so red eyes. Wow, you're so stupid.” Jim made a face of mock hurt.

“No! You're the stupid one, thinking you can act all- all emotionless!” Jim pushed Joel over onto the bed, both of them laughing now.

“It’s cause I am babe! So so emotionless.” He turned to Jim and smiled, his chest fluttering as he saw them smile back. They stayed like that for a small moment, just smiling and giggling quietly, until Tim spoke up.

“Better?” Joel nodded, and Jimmy was quick to roll closer and hug the other man, making him shiver.

“Cold…” He lightly complained.

“Want me to leave? I can go visit Grian or Scott-” Joel quickly put arms around him.

“No. My ice cube.” He smiled and was glad when Jimmy snuggled up to him.

“Okay weirdo, I'll stay right here.” Joel smiled and closed his eyes, holding on tight to the ice cube next to him.

#ask #canary fic #smallidarity #joel smallishbeans #jimmy solidarity

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sjofn-lofnsdottr · 10 hours

Note

Hey! I love your gposes, and I was wondering if you had any tips on how to get better at making them.

Oh, thank you! You're kind to say so!

I'm gonna approach this like you're super new to it, so I'm sorry if I'm telling you shit you already know! And if you have other questions about something specific, you can DM me if you like, I don't mind. Honestly, that goes for anyone reading this!

I can sense this is going to be stupid long, so I'm also gonna hide a bunch of it behind a cut.

So starting off with vanilla gpose advice, in a general sense I'd say play around with lighting a lot. I usually try to get at least some light spilling onto people from the side (ideally where a light source would be anyway) in order to give them more definition. I know there's gpose lighting tutorials out there that can probably explain it so much better than I can (like this one? maybe?), but it really makes such a huge difference overall. Even when you're taking a picture outside in the sun, a little bit of extra lighting can make stuff look more interesting.

(I might be a little biased, I was a theatrical electrician for a while. I think lighting is neat.)

Another vanilla-applicable thing I'd say is get really, really, really embarrassingly familiar with the in-game emotes, and practice your timing for when you want to freeze them. And don't forget that the 'expression' emotes will override an emote's usual face, which can change the vibe in some fun ways:

And the third piece of vanilla gpose advice I'd give is to mess around with the filters the game has on the 'general settings' tab. Honestly, you've probably done this, but mess around with ALL the things in the gpose menu. Push every button, waggle every slider, just to see what they do.

I'm currently loitering at an art party, so let me show you a little bit what I mean.

So to start, I go into gpose and see what's what. I let all the background people stop facing the camera, and move the camera a bit to an angle I like. I'm sitting in a corner, which is going to mess with the camera more than usual, but in this case, it's messing with it in a way I like, getting me nice and close to Dusk:

Dusk could stand to look friendlier, right? So I head to the emotes tab in the menu, and pick 'beam' for his expression, because it's the smile I like best on him:

Still kinda bleh. Things look a touch murky, and flatter than I like. Before I do ANYTHING with the lighting though, I go here:

And then I save the hell out of the camera position. Saving the camera position has saved me so much pain. This is because placing lights in gpose requires you moving the camera, since they drop exactly where your camera is. But I like this angle, and I don't want to lose it. So I save it! It'll also save lighting settings, which I find handy occasionally, but not nearly as often (it's a lifesaver when I accidentally hit the hotkey that turns off lights though).

I've taken a lot of pictures in this venue, and the pink/white color scheme is uh ... tricky for me, sometimes. But on the upside, white walls and floors bounce light really well! For this picture, I think I want some light coming from the left of the frame to give Dusk slightly more interesting shadows, and a blue light much further away and above to soften the harshness of the white and pink:

My next step is to use the gpose-provided color filters to see if there's anything I like, just in case:

Bright 1 is one I've wound up using a lot, even though it ruins my eyes and makes everything look dark as hell once I come out of gpose.

Now, the white coming from the left is hitting Dusk pretty much exactly how I want it to, but it's lighting up his moogle sundae more than I'd prefer. The way I usually deal with this is using the 'limb darkening' slider. What it does is darken the edge of the picture, to varying degrees. It even has different colors, although I use black pretty much always:

I only used one tick, but it's made me much happier about the sundae! My one complaint now is that I had to turn off depth of field in order to keep Dusk from being blurry (it's a slider, but by the time Dusk looked focus, it might as well have been shut off anyway), but it's something I can live with for a vanilla gpose.

I have reShade installed though, so let's mess with that for fun. I tend to stick to presets that don't stray too far from what the game itself does unless I'm doing dumb vampire artsy things:

But honestly, in this case I don't think it was really necessary.

As for getting better with crimes, I would again stress getting familiar with the game's emotes and attack animations, because they are often a fantastic starting point to modify into something you're wanting to see. Also, this sounds weird (probably) but when I first started out, I did a lot of throw away pictures that no one besides my Discord knitting circle will ever see because everyone is naked in them. I did this for two reasons. Wait, no, three:

I was high when this idea came to me and therefore I lacked my usual shame.

Clothes clipping was driving me crazy and I wasn't good enough to handle it yet. Stripping everyone naked took that out of the equation, so I could focus on actually moving the dollies in peace.

However! It also meant I couldn't depend on clothes to mask some of my worst shortcut sins as far as moving limbs and what it did to their joints went. This meant I got a lot better at knowing how to move the dollies I was working with in the way the models want to be moved and still look right.

Obviously a saner thing to do would be ~beach pictures~ with everyone in swimsuits. Good thing Dawntrail is coming!

Some of the things I learned during this naked process:

While I try to make a pose look good from multiple angles, because I rarely know what angle I'm going to ACTUALLY want until stuff is at least roughed in, if I know for absolute certain I'm only going to take it from one particular angle, it is best for one's sanity to make sure it looks good from that angle and ignore everything you can't see otherwise.

If you ARE taking more than one angle of the same pose, it is not a crime to make little adjustments after you change the angle! This is extra true when you're doing something like a kiss, because noses are the worst. Go ahead and nudge something that looked right from Angle A but a little off from Angle B. No one will know your dark secret.

Somewhat related, sometimes little tweaks are really all you need! This is especially true when it comes to faces. Try not to overthink what you're doing too much.

Very often, if you want to move, say, an arm from position A to position B, you should start by adjusting the clavicle and work your way down. At first this was kinda slow and annoying and required a bunch of passes, but it resulted in way more natural looking results without asking people to politely ignore wonky elbows and such. Like everything else in the world, this gets a lot faster with practice and is 1000% worth getting halfway decent at.

Hands are the devil, but they also really make or break a pose for me a lot of the time. The more natural you can make hands and fingers look when touching something, the better, I feel. On the whole, I find FFXIV hands are a lot better at gentle-looking touches than rough-looking ones, but that may be my own limitations talking here. Spend time just messing with hands to get familiar with them, just like the rest of the skeleton. Eventually it'll start to get easier and easier to move stuff to where you want it without having to do a million little adjustments on the way to where you're aiming (I'm down to about half a million these days).

Eye contact is fucking hard too. I try to get the models to do as much of the work for me as possible as I go into gpose. For example, I'll make sure Dusk has Farron targeted, so he'll already looking down at him, but most of the time I'm going to be moving their heads or bodies too much for that eye contact to still look right. The way I usually do it is put the camera behind the person being looked at, and then make that person disappear and adjust the looker's eyes from there. Then I check from the angle I actually want to shoot from and make tiny adjustments to make it look more 'correct' to my eyes. Sometimes when I post Camera A/Camera B angles? It's because the eye contact only looked right from those angles no matter what I did and I'm making you all just have to deal with it.

Double check everything! It's easy to rough something in and then go blind to it being not-quite-right.

It takes me about 5 minutes to stop noticing nakedness because I am too busy swearing about elezen necks or something.

Once you start letting your dolls wear clothes and armor again, you have to start thinking about clipping and physics and such, which will also take practice, but I feel like people on the whole are a lot more subconsciously forgiving about that, because we all play this game and we all got trained to ignore a certain amount of clothes being weird because of it (this goes for most clipping, really). Which is good! I try to minimize clipping without actually having to touch any of the clothing bones if at all possible and only really mess with those if I absolutely have to because, say, the entire tail of Dusk's coat is clipping through the chair he's sitting on.

I suppose that's another thing, sometimes ... sometimes a glam is just a nightmare to work around and you just wear something else.

I hope this was ... helpful at all, I know it's long but hopefully not full of shit you knew already, or overwhelming to read. But I wanted to say more than just 'practice,' since that's hard to do if you don't even know what you should be practicing! And again, if you have a more specific question (or follow up questions?), definitely send a DM or something!

#ask and i will answer #long post

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steamberrystudio · 1 day

Text

05/05/2024 Devlog

Hallo everyone! It seems like it's been a while since my last update here which is weird because I have an update from mid-April all typed out in google docs but apparently I never posted. 8D Oops!

Anyway, for those who are not following the weekly updates on Patreon or the monthly updates on Itch...I shall fill you in!

Writing:

I think in my last update, which was back in March, I was editing chapter 6. I am now at the end of chapter 9 and am about to embark upon chapter 10.

But Esh, you may ask. Why is taking so long to edit these chapters? Why, for example, chapter 7 is about 75,000 words (coded). These chapters are...huge.

Ch 6, 7, 8 and 9 together are about 200,000 words of content.

I've also been proofreading and then formatting each chapter into Renpy as I go so I can get a feel for how long each chapter actually is (by 'formatting into Renpy', I just mean that I'm dumping the writing into Renpy and formatting it properly so the game runs. I'm not coding any assets in. Just dumping the text in. So the word counts I give are the actual final word counts!)

So yeah, it's pretty time consuming! But I am making progress. I think I have about 70% of the script edited at the moment.

But Chapter 10 is...a really big chapter. So I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get through it.

😭 We'll be finding out though!

Art:

Since my last update, I've received several new BGs and sketches. The BGs are currently about 60% complete. The artists are making their way through them all slowly but surely.

Other Stuff:

Well...I did release another game as a collaboration with some of my developer friends.

We worked on the game over the course of a couple of months and just managed to get out for Amare Festival!

If you haven't checked A Faerie's Tale out over on Itch.io but are up for something cute, wholesome, funny, and pretty short...please do so!

We think it turned out quite well!

Upcoming Weeks:

Well in the upcoming weeks I'll be focusing on revising Chapter 10. And there's a lot to be done in Chapter 10.

Asher's path and the "common scenes" have had one edit. I'll have to re-read them to refresh myself on the content so I can properly edit the others. Hopefully I won't have to make too many revisions though.

The remaining character content will have to be fleshed out. This is a really important relationship chapter (which also has steamy scenes in it so there is a lot of smoothing, fixing, and fleshing out that has to happen.)

Additionally, there are some ending sequences that happen in this chapter and while they are functional right now, I really want to expand them and make the endings feel a little better situated into the story and less abrupt.

Sometimes haven't an abrupt game-over really works with the story but in this case, I feel the endings need a little more build up to feel properly earned and to really be satisfying for players. That means expanding the lead up to those scenes by a fair amount.

So overall, this chapter is probably going to end up as the longest chapter in the game by a pretty significant margin.

And that means I may be at the revision for the better part of this month.

And then after Chapter 10, it's just the ending sequences for each character. I'm really looking forward to revising those and fleshing them out properly. 👀

I think I'm about to descend into the lowest depths of editing hell for a few weeks but I'm hoping after that I can slowly start to climb my way back out.

We'll see how it goes!

#when stars collide #amare game #indie otome game #updates #devlog

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pauking5 · 2 days

Text

Runaway ~ Chapter 1 ~

Pairing: Naozumi Hiyama x fem reader oc

Synopsis: There's no place for women in the world of racing. Let alone rally. Until you show up - the daughter of a racing legend who lost everything out of nowhere - ready to stir the pot of competition and throw fuel to Naozumi's fire, burning wild in more than just one way. Just how far will you go to take your rightful place in the world of rally, restore the team to its glory and change things for the better?

Genre: racing AU, enemies to lovers, rivalry, suspense, a whole lot of teasing, gender power games, dating in secret

Word count: 4.5k+

A/N: Here it finally is. I can't believe I got to write about one of my passions in this way. Though I love rally, getting the technicalities right was rough but I researched as much as I could on it so it feels like the real thing, though there might be some minor inaccuracies, not really affecting the story.

This one has been in the works for a good period of time and though this first chapter is short and fast-paced, there's so much more coming. Trust the process cause god knows I do. I hope I can make Naozumi justice and I can't wait for you to read the next ones. Enjoy lovelies.

Now Playing: Edge of Seventeen - Wuki

It's not about how fast you go.

It's about how long you go fast.

Fast like-

A knock reverberated against your helmet, interrupting the pre-race mantra before you even finished reciting it, bringing you back to the chaos prior to the race start.

Chaos you wanted to avoid at all costs.

Blinking your eyes open, you took in the smell of burnt rubber and the atmosphere, fully packed with the deafening roars of the crowds in the stands soaring over the music heard all the way to your station. Another voice joined in the noise, demanding your attention.

"Raiko, are you ready?"

Letting out an exasperated breath, you waved off whoever spoke to you and closed your eyes again.

"Give me a minute, will you?"

Okay, where was I?

It's not about how fast you go-

A drilling noise came from your right, annoying the living daylights out of you.

Ah, fuck it. Since we keep getting interrupted...

How about I tell you a little bit about me.

Name's Raiko Suruki.

Yes, that Suruki. Here we go again.

I'm the daughter of the famed Hiro Suruki, five times Japan World Rally Championship winner, consecutively if I may add, proud podium sitter for thousands of times, also kind of a living legend of the primetime of the rally world. The same Hiro Suruki that started one of the best teams in the history of Japanese rally, snatching six more titles under his directory. WRC'S Golden Boy.

After his personal fifth title, he decided he wanted something more. Something that would fulfill him, beside his love for driving at the most insane speeds known to man and having his first and only child - that's me in case you didn't know.

Anyway, without any second thoughts he retired from the sport out of nowhere, changing the fireproofs for the laid-back team principal shirt and a cheap very 'dad' baseball cap. At barely 35 years of age, he took the biggest leap of faith and Suruki Racing was born out of fuel and passion for rally.

He poured everything he had into the team and built it from scratch, taking it so high in his prime that everyone wanted a piece of it, be it driving in a seat for the team, changing parts as a mechanic or simply having shares in it.

It was basically the shit. The pinnacle of the rally series in Japan.

The team became a national sensation. So many influential people, from mere businessmen to politicians, even foreigners were so interested in it and helping it expand. It genuinely felt like the only way for him was up, flying like a rocket towards the legends' hall of fame.

It went like that for a while. He was beaming with happiness, unable to understand where all that luck came from. But like everything good, once he started to question it all, it was like a switch flipped inwards.

And everything started going wrong.

All of a sudden the cars started missing parts the night before races. They had engine failures mid-race in almost every stage, followed by dnf's on every scoreboard. And those aren't even the most shocking things that happened. You name the disaster and it definitely happened to Suruki Racing at one point.

The mess piled up more and more and it showed.

Contract deals with sponsors started falling through, losing funding for a lot of parts and investments in equipment. Then the drivers got fed up with the constant failed races and blamed the car or the team if they felt like it. They terminated their contracts way before their terms were up under the pretense that they wanted different things... which were not related to Suruki Racing. The mechanics chose to stay, well, a few of them anyways, but it wasn't enough.

The team ripped at the seams and slowly but surely ran into the ground and dad couldn't find at least one reason why it happened.

It was like a curse you couldn't get rid of and I saw it happen first-hand.

The late nights he would spend in the garage trying new parts that kept failing with every test on the car. The way he would go as low as begging the drivers to come back offering them money he didn't have because no driver, rookie or experienced, didn't even bat an eye once the name of the team was mentioned.

Lost, penniless and with a heavy heart, he had to watch the one thing he loved the most on earth rust little by little, no matter what he would do to prevent it.

Mom called it karma for his reckless racing days because as talented as he was, the road forgives no one. That you can be God's favourite and still lose everything. And he didn't want to understand that. He never did.

I was too young to help back then. Too young to understand what Suruki Racing meant to him. Too young to do the only thing I could to save it.

Until now.

So, let's try that again, shall we?

Name's Rai Suruki, driver for Suruki Racing 2.0.

Another knock to your helmet, echoing in your head louder than the first, brought you back to the real world for good this time. Mechanics rushed around you to finish the set up on the car before you were called up to take your spot in front of the race marshal, which from a quick glance at the scoreboard would be soon.

Looking to your left, you were met with a set of dull brown eyes, messy jet black hair, a funky moustache and an extremely creased forehead for his middle age, all belonging to your co-driver, Don Tanaka. He's another legend of the sport.

Former training coach for some of the current biggest teams in the WRC, with a CV of experiences surpassing most people that have been in rally for longer. On top of all that, he is an even bigger friend of your father's. When he called him up asking for an old favour to train you, he couldn't say no.

But if it was up to commenting, you'd say he was one of the biggest fools for giving up a lavish salary with so many perks for one favour, especially for your old fart of a father.

Driving with him was great, but training with him was hell on Earth.

"I was doing my mantra," you reasoned, trying to get him off your case.

"Your mantra sucks."

He is an absolute joy to be around, isn't he?

"Well," you turned to him in your seat with a tight-lipped smile, "you're the one choosing to be co-driver to a young adult at your ripe age of 40. If I was you I would've picked something more calming, like gardening."

Bringing his hand to his chin in thinking, he sat in silence for a moment before he spoke.

"That doesn't sound so bad right now," he went on trying to push your buttons.

"Oh, shush," you waved him off, turning back to the wheel.

If there was one thing he liked doing, it was keeping you in check by poking fun at you. He was like that one uncle you could always go to with your secrets or to ask for extra pocket money, but in return he liked to tease the fuck out of you for it. Every. Single. Time.

As much as you hated his antics, you did kind of owe him a lot. He was the one who caught your talent for racing early on, back when you would drive plastic mini cars made from scraps around the team garage like you had years of experience. A few drifting maneuvers around old tires done like a pro at the cool age of 8, and he was sold on you and your potential.

Amongst all the teasing and the pain of having to train like a man, you've spent enough time with him to know you could count on him for literally anything. He was the best co-driver you could ask for and you wouldn't want anyone else in that seat directing your fate for the world.

He knew what it took to annoy you greatly in order to deliver on the dirt track and prove yourself. Especially now, since you were the only woman on highly occupied male territory.

Racing was a man's world.

With as many female advancements in motorsport as there were today, the majority of the community was still not convinced that a woman could drive better than a man or even compete alongside a whole grid of their species. They can regard you, acknowledge your existence, but they would never accept you.

Your father knew your entry to the championship would stir up a lot of unwanted attention, besides the fact that he was basically reviving a cursed team and you happened to be the poster face for it this time around. It sounded like a catastrophe in the making.

Frankly, you were ecstatic to get to drive an actual race car outside of the junior series and helping the team get back to its rightful place, restoring its deserved glory. But you knew it wasn't going to be easy work. Especially, since public enemy number one - the press - was going to try and tear you to sparkly shreds for a lot of reasons. An attack that they started before any official information was out.

A few months ago, when the announcement of Suruki Racing's comeback after ten years of inactivity hit the WRC, the media had a field day with it.

They criticized your father for being a nutjob that didn't know when to quit. They smeared Don Tanaka's name like he didn't make most of the drivers currently selling their dying papers. They even tried to get paid scoops from anyone involved with the team in the slightest.

But the team had one wildcard left to play before pulling the curtains for good and giving them the satisfaction that they ruined it.

You.

The press didn't know about you. No one in the other teams knew about you. Thanks to your father's extremely private life, no one even knew of your existence.

The only people that did were your team in the garage, from the mechanics to your PR agent.

Even walking into the circuit grounds this morning, long hair down over your shoulders, sporting the team gear in plain sight, no one batted an eye at you. Even if they did, they would think you were involved with technical or marketing - though even that was a rarity in this universe - or worse, just another groupie looking to get one of the drivers under your hood.

Your father wanted to give everyone a show they'll never forget by having you drive the first race in the calendar without a proper introduction. No car reveal. No interviews. No pre-race press conference. Just a car and its driver.

This way they would judge your driving before they actually got to judge you for being a woman at the wheel of a three hundred horsepower beast. He trusted you and your judgement on the track far more than the lousy press setting you up for fail. They would get a proper car show and speech after the race anyway.

It was out of the ordinary but that kinda summed up Hiro Suruki and his bipolar personality.

The distorted sound of a megaphone, followed by the voice of the race marshal called you to the start line.

"Car 7, Rai Suruki for Suruki Racing, you're up next!"

You could already see everyone turning their eyes to your station, booming cheers going quiet, turning into sharp murmurs.

Time to get this show going.

Rolling up your windows to block the world, you put the car in gear and drove to the start line, waiting for the green light. Looking out at the lines in the road ahead of you spotting the first hazard ahead, the nerves climbed up your spine faster than your engine could pump the pistons for pressure.

You prepared for this for most of your life, but if you were being honest, it all got a little too real now, sitting with your foot hovering above the gas pedal ahead of the moment that could make or break your career before it even started. The very moment that could be a step forward to restoring your father's name, getting the team back on track in a new age of rally racing. The moment for a change.

No pressure, right?

"Raiko," your co-driver called your name, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the road, gloved fingers tightening on top of the wheel with a small snap. "Do you remember the course?"

"Yes."

"Good. All set?"

"I think so."

"Raiko, look at me."

"You're not my style."

"Raiko," his voice turned more serious and deep with warning. With another sigh into the small, cramped space for breathing your helmet provided, you turned to him.

"You've got this. Let's prove everyone wrong."

He was right.

Let's prove everyone wrong.

The race marshal started the countdown, walking from the front of your car to the side, each number in the count descending with your nerves. You loosened the hold on the wheel, stretched your legs to the pedals and let out a deep breath.

"3."

It's not about how fast you go.

"2."

It's about how long you go fast.

"1."

Fast like lightning.

"GO!"

A soon as the lights went green, you hit the throttle and took off into the dirt, raising the dust behind you. You skidded off to the side a little due to the gravel but you got control of it before anyone could notice.

Tokai was a pretty difficult course to rally. The later you got the okay to race, the more dust and gravel from other drivers would pile up in front of you, making visibility dangerously low. The corners were way too tight and one second off from Tanaka's directions or a mishap of your footing could cost you and put your car on the sidelines.

"5 left over crest," Tanaka paced you for the upcoming hill and you prepared to release the throttle.

"1 left 100."

Wheels back on the ground, you resumed pressing the pedal as a hairpin portion came into view. The cloud of dust in front of you was chalky and you had to get through it before it raised higher. Putting the car in second gear, you got ready for the drift portion.

You had to be extra careful here. The mechanic in chief told you to go easy as the rear could send you into oversteer, throwing off the balance of the car and fuck up the race completely.

Listening to your gut, you waited for the right time then tapped the brake, cut the wheels and pressed the throttle, sliding across the portion. Loud cheers and whistles erupted as the crowd in the stands got up to watch you complete a perfect drift.

"3 right don't cut."

Reduce pace and prepare for a possible road hazard.

You slowed down and sure enough a bump in the road came up. If you missed that one and took it at 120 kph, it would've projected you off the track, crashing the car hard into the rocky wall like a cereal box. Thankfully, you swerved around it, feeling the car lift off the ground on the left for a bit before it fell back down.

"6 right very long."

Hard left into a tight corner.

"Cut 8 left."

Tight corner requiring you to follow a straight line in the curb.

This was the last and worst corner on the track. You were lucky it didn't rain because this is where your car can skid off into the stands. You caught the straight line pretty fast, cutting a few seconds off your lap time without slowing down.

Following the rest of Tanaka's directions and focusing on the rest of the road, the race finished before you knew it. You liked the state you were in as you drove, mind clear of everything else because as soon as the adrenaline in your body decreased, your brain got bombarded by all kinds of issues.

Did I push the new suspensions too hard? God, I hope I didn't scratch the rear in the hairpin. Was my timing too off on that last corner? I should've practiced it more.

Driving back to your team's station, you sent all those worries at the back of your head and got out to watch the screen showing the score board just as it updated to display the new track times since you were the last to go.

1. Akira Shinkai - Sigma - 1.24.55

2. Naozumi Hiyama - Spica Racing Factory - 1.23.59

3. Rai Suruki - Suruki Racing - 1.23.40

"WE BAGGED THIRD PLACE?!" you yelled throwing off your helmet onto the car seat.

"WE SURE DID," Tanaka high fived you, beaming with energy just like you.

"That's 15 points on the first stage! Well done, lightning strike," he ruffled your hair as you snickered, nose scrunching up with a smile at the gesture you were already accustomed to.

"The car held up a lot better today than in testing. Maybe we lifted the curse," you wiggled your eyebrows at him at which he flicked your forehead. "Ow, what did you do that for?"

"Don't jinx it. We still have two more stages to go."

"But-"

Before you could say anything else, you were interrupted by angry shouting coming from the station next to you.

"I told you to not touch the third gear," yelled a strained voice.

You walked to the side of your station, peeking your head by the team banner, and watched the heated exchange between one of the drivers and his mechanic. Your eyes wandered to the car sitting in the middle, not one hand touching it for the regular post-race check up. From the different strokes of sky blue layered over stark white, the red and blue sponsor stickers and the carbon spoiler, you recognized it to be Spica Racing's.

"It doesn't matter now," shouted another voice, so annoyed and sure of themselves as if they owned the place. "I got a good lap record this time."

"What would you do if you had to retire in the middle of the race?" shot the mechanic, chastising the driver for being careless.

He got up in his face, towering over him though the other was much taller than him.

"We won't win if I don't attack!" he yelled back, throwing his hand in the air to make a point. "The moment I think of being scared I will lose. I won't make that mistake. So just do your job and fix the car."

With that final remark, he rounded the car to walk away from the station until he noticed you in the corner, now standing in full sight just at the line between your stations.

Quickly replacing the scowl on his face with what was probably his natural smirk, he came to you, stopping short of the barrier separating you.

"I don't do autographs, but for you I can do more than that," he added a daring wink, flashing his cocky smile at you.

Ew.

Taking a small step back hoping his vibes wouldn't envelop you, you uncrossed your arms from your chest and lifted an eyebrow at him.

"I don't want your autograph."

Taken aback at your response, he backed up slightly too and looked you up and down, taking in your deep blue and dark gold team fireproofs and the suit tied messily around your waist. The old, way out of fashion colours seemed to ring a bell.

"Suruki Racing...," he started doubtful, "the shithole that revived from the ashes? Are you a mechanic, a co-driver or something for them? If you are, why don't you jump ships? I wouldn't mind having you on my team instead," he finished his speech of intent with another shit-eating grin.

Who the fuck was this guy?

The audacity that wafted off him must definitely make him popular with the ladies.

"I don't think we've met before," you extended your hand out to him, curt and polite, like a normal person would do, introducing yourself.

"Rai Suruki, driver for Suruki Racing," emphasizing your role in the team so he got it through his head that you weren't some bimbo.

If you were, you'd make sure your fist decorated his face in pretty red tones before anything else.

He straightened back, smirk gone from his face in all sense of the word. It got replaced by some kind of curiosity. Looking between you and your palm hanging in the air he looked confused to say the least. He's heard about female racers before and seen some working in technical around the place, he's just never seen one stand against him on track.

Tired of being polite to someone who obviously has never heard about manners, you were about to retract your extended hand when he caught it in a firm grip and pulled it towards him, just holding it instead of shaking it. The move sent you forwards, almost barreling into him when your reaction response kicked in to steel you a safe distance away.

Maybe Tanaka's intense survival program pays off sometimes.

"So," he began and you wondered if he was about to say something intelligent or spew more shit with that mouth of his. He decided to choose the latter. "You're the one driving the Beetle dupe right there?"

Eh, come again?

Your eyes widened at him, looking at where his finger was pointed to confirm that he was pointing at your car and not anywhere else, then you whirled your head back at him appalled.

"B-Beetle dupe?!"

"I thought you were a guy."

Wouldn't be the first time I heard that one.

You took your hand back from his hold, wiping it on the sleeves of the suit hanging on your hips in the hopes that it would wipe off the disgust you were feeling too. It didn't but it was worth a try.

"It's the name," you replied through gritted teeth.

He backed up some more to scan you again, though more attentively this time, like you were some kind of illegality, cooked up from the pits of his imagination. You gave him your best front, hardening your jaw and rolling your shoulders backwards, proving you were more than a pair of boobs and a vagina, which was apparently his deranged first impression of you.

You deserved to be here. No amount of stares from the male specimen, surprised or with sinful intentions, could ever make you back down from this. This was yours to take on. No man could take this from you. Not him anyway.

So, you stared him down too, trying to find something else beside the extreme big dick energy and unsurmountable lack of scruples surrounding him. Struggling to see anything else but some disdain in the way he crossed his arms over his broad chest, a rich prick attitude from how he shifted on his legs like the world owed him golden lingos every time he breathed, and some leftover rage from the screaming match with his mechanic still present in the tick of his jaw, you let your eyes meet his own in conclusion of your very own analysis.

Yeah, there's nothing else in there. An ambulant douchebag. Just like I thought.

Flashing cameras were suddenly thrown in your faces, interrupting the intense stare-down between you. The press and some people, potentially fans of other teams by their t-shirts, surrounded you from every corner of the plastic barrier around the two stations, pushing each other over the race marshals that tried their hardest to keep them away. It wasn't long until they pushed over the barrier.

Too absorbed in the chaos, you didn't notice he leaned down to your ear but when you did, you stilled in your shoes, all blood draining into your pounding stomach. He spoke close and low, so only you could hear his words.

"Don't get too comfortable around here, rookie," he whispered, hot breath hitting the shell of your ear making shivers run down your extremely clothed spine. "Let's see how long you last in here because this season might just be your first and last."

Pulling away with another one of his smirks that were starting to get on your nerves, he regarded you once more before he walked off in amusement to his cool-down room, giving you a full view of his broad back.

Oh, just you wait -

A reporter shoved into the human barrier of orange and green safety vests reaching the railing, yanking it back and forth repeatedly until the poor plastic seal broke off, letting everyone else pool in around you.

Uh-oh. This wasn't good.

They packed around you like wolves on their prey, all shouting different things at you while shoving their big cameras, recording devices and phones in your face. The flashes blinded you, turning the world white and too bright for it to be natural light from the clouded sky above.

Your hands shot up on instinct to cover your eyes from the flaring lights as your ears focused on filtering through the blaring sounds of camera clicks and voices. Then the countless questions registered clear as day, hitting you like a truck at full speed.

"Are you Rai Suruki, daughter of Hiro Suruki?"

"Where did your father get the money to restart the team?"

"Is your car even going to last a season?"

"Do you consider yourself a challenge to the rest of the drivers?"

I guess that was it for mystery, dad.

Some of the other teams passed by the ruckus, sparing quick judgmental glances or sending disgusting sneers your way like that was the way they initiated your welcome ceremony at the gates of the jungle.

If this was any other series, you would've been so welcomed by the rest of the grid and treated somewhat better by the media and the fans. But this was the World Rally Championships.

Driving was dirty.

Talk was filthy, full of disrespect and unspoken trials of envy between each driver.

The press competed to see who would get your head on a pike first and parade it as the story of the century.

Respect was fought for, not earned.

It was a different game. One where you needed to play even if you didn't want to so in turn you wouldn't get played. Survival of the fittest truly.

You steeled your gaze, waving the reporters off and digging a hole through the crowd, successfully escaping away to your pit crew. Helping with packing up bits and pieces and taking your own stuff, you headed back to your team quarters, aware of the intensifying stares belonging to the rest of the teams still around their stations, talking about the first day in this season's calendar being an interesting one.

You had a feeling you and the team were the hot topic of conversation since you could feel their eyes searing deep holes into your back, burning hotter and doing more damage than flame-lit arrows aimed straight at you ever could. Tanaka wrapped an arm around you giving you his curled moustache smile, sympathizing with you.

Looking up at the sky darkening in mauve and pink, you let a small smile grace your lips. At least today was done. Your rally racing career has officially started. The team was back in business.

However, this first stage was just one of the many challenges still to come. Who knew what else was on the way?

As you trudged on the warm asphalt, there was one thing you knew for sure.

This is gonna be a long season.

Thank you for reading :) As always leave a like, comment or reblog!

#Runaway #Naozumi Hiyama #Naozumi Hiyama x reader #Naozumi Hiyama x you #Overdrive x reader #Overdrive x you #racing au #Overdrive Mackenyu

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