#It's a shame they wasted all this chicken by putting it INTO MY FUCKING FOOD

[itsadamnbeehive]

picky eater rant lol

#dear reader: #I'm getting it fucking twisted. #I swear to FUCKING SHIT #how hard is it to listen to people when they fucking talk to you #I said VEGETABLE fried rice you mentally deficient troglodyte #I understand that every human being is the champion god-king protagonist of their own story; #and things can go unobserved when details do not stroke the ego #but you would think after literal YEARS of ordering the one of TWO dishes from this restaurant #BOTH WITH 'VEGETABLE' AS THE PREFIX TO THE DAMN MENU OPTION #SOMEONE WOULD FUCKING REMEMBER #My day overall has been quite enjoyable up until this moment #However whenever I think of a 'relaxing evening' eating anticipated chinese food #I do not envision fishing for CHICKEN CHUNKS IN MY GODDAMN RICE #IT COMPLETELY ALTERS THE FLAVOR IN A SUBTLE WAY #“Subtle? If it's subtle what does it matter” Listen here motherfucker. #Do you think I want to roll the fucking roulette wheel with every forkful of fried rice #"Will I get a delicious hunk of rice #or am I going to bite down into a boulder of FUCKING CHICKEN #This is making a mountain out of a molehill here people #But sometimes the little things hit you in a way that taps into a veritable Wellspring of stored resentment #now I have to get another bowl dirty cause I don't want to eat the chicken #And YES #Foodwaste is terrible #food-waste contributes to the planetary decay our society has inflected upon the earth #It's a shame they wasted all this chicken by putting it INTO MY FUCKING FOOD #GODDAMMIT #at least the beef stick was cooked right #Fuckinell man. #I just wanted some snap peas and celery and the occasional carrot #rant over

[signofthree]

i love you steamfresh veg i love you microwave rice cups i love you snack time chickpeas i love you individually pre-portioned food

#and not feeling any shame about it!! #like is it slightly more expensive. technically is there more waste due to the individual packaging. #yes to both #BUT now i actually eat at least 2 serves of veg a day #i can have a hot lunch every day which is really pleasant #and most importantly i dont have to THINK #from choosing what to have for lunch to buying it to putting it in my bag to preparing it to making sure im eating healthy #and watching portion sizes #no thoughts at ALL #i just grab the same stuff off the shelves each week #and get a random assortment of the bean tin flavours #so every day its lucky dip #its been many months and i still look forward to it every day #also its really convenient having a guaranteed satisfying gluten free meal each day for the celiac #and considering earlier this year i was in struggletown with not having regular lunch or meals and struggling so much with food #i can only recommend this method a million percent #legit has changed my life #it does have vibes of only eating boiled chicken and steamed broccoli a la gym bros #but like fuck eating clean?? its more like when you go to town on a bowl of soup and crusty bread

[sharkneto]

Celebration idea: I would love a little brotherly bonding snippet (if you have one, no pressure) of Five and Diego :)

Me: I have so many WIPS, I really shouldn't start something new even if it's short, but I don't actually have any good Five and Diego snippets laying around, what a shame Also me: “This is stupid.”

Diego looks up at Five from where he’s trying to position the kindling so he can get it to light. The rest of the family is busy setting up tents and laying out food for them to cook over the fire.

If Diego ever gets it started, that is.

He glances at the pristine nature around them. “Camping?”

Five nods, scowling at Diego’s sad pile of twigs.

Diego shrugs. “I don’t know, man. Could be fun.”

He actually agrees with Five. Camping is a waste of time. There’s a reason humanity moved out of nature to big, bustling cities where there’s always things happening and anything they could ever need at their fingertips.

But the family wanted a family trip, Vanya had suggested camping, and Luther and Allison had glommed right onto that idea. Klaus apparently didn’t give a fuck what they did, Five did his usual thing and just sulked about it in the background, meaning Diego would be the only one putting up a big fuss if he complained about it.

Five scoffs. “Yeah, real fun. Let’s sit on our asses in the middle of nowhere and pretend like we don’t have modern conveniences. A great time.”

“If you didn’t want to go, why didn’t you say something!” Diego leans closer. “If we’d both complained, maybe we could have changed their minds.”

“You didn’t want to go?”

“I was supposed to have a date with Patch tonight. But we had to cancel in the name of—”

“Family bonding,” Five says with him. He sighs. ��Well, shit. I thought I was just raining on everyone’s parade about not wanting to go. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”

“I was wondering why you weren’t being more a dick about it.”

Five gives him a flat look. He crouches down and shoulders Diego to the side, reaching out to rearrange his tinder pile. Diego holds out the matches for him. Five ignores him, crouching closer over the pile and blocking Diego’s view of what he’s doing. Ten seconds later smoke starts wisping into the air. Five moves back so he can blow gently on his tiny flame. Within thirty seconds, he’s fed the flame and it’s grown to be a small fire, ready for larger sticks for fuel.

Right. Five’s started hundreds of fires in his life. Maybe thousands.

Probably thousands.

“Thanks,” Diego says.

Five shrugs. “You have to give it more air, let oxygen get to it, for it to really start.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good! You guys got the fire going!” Allison says, walking over with a tray of food. Diego doesn’t even know what they packed, he just showed up and helped chuck everything into the van they rented. She sets it on a stump; looks like potatoes, a medley of vegetables, and a large baggie of pre-cooked chicken.

“You need to wait for coals to cook best,” Five says. He’s shifted to sit on another stump.

“Good to know,” Allison says absently, taking inventory of what she still needs to bring over. “I forget, you’re quite the Boy Scout.” She heads back to her prep area and Vanya to ferry more supplies over.

Diego glances at Five, to check if he’s going to be mad about the Boy Scout comment. Since he turned physically fifteen and finally grew six inches, he’s a little less prickly about comments that could be interpreted to be about his young age.

He’s squinting after Allison, brow furrowed and the corner of his mouth twitching.

Something hit his humor, then.

“Boy Scout?” Diego asks.

Five’s mouth twist up further. “I’m thinking about all my fucked up apocalypse badges.”

Diego snorts. “Is there a cockroach badge?”

“Oh, absolutely. Get it for your 500th cockroach you eat. There’s another when you hit your thousandth, and then after that they don’t keep track because it makes the scouts too depressed. And you can’t have them too depressed, that’s just bad for survival moral.”

Diego snorts again. They turned a corner, last year, where suddenly Five was willing to leak a bit more about the apocalypse. There’s still nothing of real substance that comes out, but little pieces, little tastes. Cockroaches have, weirdly enough, become a piece that’s good to test the waters for how chatty Five is going to be about it. They’re usually safe.

“Gross,” Diego agrees.

“Truly,” Five says. He points to the log pile behind Diego. “You need to add that log. No, not that one. The one—No. The one with the flat side. Yeah. Put it…”

Diego finally gets the specific log positioned exactly how Five wants it. He returns to his spot on the ground, across the fire from Five. “What other badges you got?” he asks.

“Hmmm,” Five sighs in the most old-man way possible. “Got the Set Your Own Bones badge, got the Set Your Own Bones Wrong badge—”

“What?”

“It was just a couple fingers on my right hand, could have been worse… Got my Gardening badge, that was a good one.”

“Would you want to garden again?”

Five considers that before he shakes his head. “No. Well, no. Maybe. Ask me again when I’m old. Well, even older.”

Diego smiles with him. “Sure thing, old man.” He pokes at the fire with a long stick just to do it. Five frowns at him for it as the logs shift slightly. It’s fine, they’re still on fire, aren’t they. “I’m about to judge, Five, but all your shitty apocalypse badges are kind of lame. You don’t got anything more exciting?”

Five huffs a laugh. “Well, shit. I should have been cooler in the apocalypse, if I’d known you were in my future to tell me how lame I am.”

Diego shoots him a smile. They both know Five had hoped and dreamed and wanted nothing more than for Diego to be in his future to tell him how lame he was.

“Commission badges are probably more exciting?” Five offers.

“I prefer apocalypse badges.” Diego doesn’t really need a number for how many people Five has murdered.

“Me too.”

They sit and stare at Five’s fire. Five holds a hand out for Diego’s poking stick and deftly rearranges the charring logs so they’re flatter, starting to collapse one another.

“The Twinkie is probably something, right?” he says as he settles back on his stump. “Not many people almost die by Twinkie.”

“Sure they do.”

Five squints at him.

“I bet there’s a whole statistic every year about people who choke to death on those.”

A surprised snort escapes Five. “God, that would be an embarrassing way to go. At least mine was semi-respectable and some good, old-fashioned food poisoning.”

Hm. Fucked up. “Yeah, I don’t think they’re giving badges out for choking to death on Twinkies.”

“What are you two talking about?” Luther asks, expression folded in confusion as he walks past with two tent kits in his arms.

Diego makes the mistake of catching Five’s eye and they both lose it for a second in snorting laughs, as they try and hold it in. It’s really not that funny.

Luther just shakes his head at them and keeps on his way to the flatter part of their campsite, where he already has one of their tents up.

“You know,” Five says as his laughter dies down, “this is the sort of conversation I expect to have with Klaus, not you.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. It’s just stupid.”

“You think I can’t have stupid conversations?” Diego hears it as soon as he says it. Five gives him a look to let him know that he is choosing not to destroy Diego on his phrasing.

“No, you say stupid things all the time.” Ok, so not letting him go unscathed. “I wasn’t really going anywhere with it. Just a thought.”

“Alright, then.”

They lapse back into silence. Five watches the fire. Diego watches their family.

Allison and Vanya are still at the picnic table, laughing about something as they chop up more vegetables for whatever their dinner plan is. Luther is halfway though erecting the next tent. Diego should probably go help him but the big guy looks like he’s got it handled. Klaus crashes back into camp from the woods, roll of toilet paper in one hand and a bunch of berries in the other. Allison smacks them from his hand as he shows her and then shoves the hand sanitizer at him.

Yeah, maybe some family bonding is nice. Even if nature sucks.

He turns back to Five. He’s still staring at the flames, gaze distant.

Diego thinks he gets what Five was getting at, before with his comment about them not having dumb conversations together.

They don’t really have a chance to, they don’t hang out that often, just the two of them. It’s not on purpose, it’s not like Diego is avoiding his older brother, but things have been busy for him. Him and Patch are on, again (who knew their on-and-off-again tendencies would survive to a new future; at least it’s not as explosive – just a fluctuation as they try and figure out if they’re romantic or platonic), he’s spending time at a mechanic shop a block down from the gym, enjoying the work with his hands, and he’s still helping out at the gym and helping out around the city as things come up.

He’s just not at the Academy as much and that’s still where Five spends most of his time, still working to figure out how a sixty-year-old-man that looks fifteen fits into the world.

“We should do this more often,” Diego says.

Five blinks a few times and pulls himself back to the present. “Camping? Diego, this fucking sucks. I camped for four decades, I don’t need to do any more of it.”

“No, not the camping. I’m with you there. But… you and me. We should hang out more. Do stuff.”

“Like what?”

Diego shrugs. “Does it matter?”

Five’s mouth quirks up into a smile. “No, I suppose it doesn’t. I can pencil you into my very packed schedule. And you know where to find me.”

They smile at each other. It’s interrupted and Allison and Vanya join them with the rest of the food.

“Alright!” Allison says, calling Luther and Klaus to join them and then launching into instructions for how to make the little tin foil dinners she’s prepared.

They’re simple enough, especially when his sisters have already prepped everything. Really, it’s almost more patronizing that they didn’t just put everything together for them, too. Still, Diego grabs a square of foil and a pat of butter to grease it up. Grabs one to pass to Five, too.

Five ignores it and just grabs a potato, instead, jams it onto a stick, and then promptly shoves it into the coals of the smoldering fire, wiggling it until it’s mostly buried.

“Or that,” Allison sighs.

Diego catches Five’s eye. “Got your potato badge, then, too, huh?” he says.

Five grins and snorts.

#shark's 500 follower celebration #to be clear this is not a promise that prompts will be filled #this just hit me at juuuuust the right time when i'd already been playing with this idea #that said you can always send me fic prompts/ideas #there is just never a promise that i will fill them it's nothing personal #i just also have literally like 15 WIPs going atm lol #tua #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #tua fic #diego hargreeves #number five #five hargreeves #ficblogging #sharkneto speaks

[solarwonux]

An Unforgettable Dinner - Valentine’s Day Drabble #3

soft!dom mingyu x f!reader x soft!dom chan 

w.c: 2.0k

warnings: LOTS of teasing, toys (vibrator), public sex (kind off just squint everyone), humiliation, Mingyu is a little shit, orgasm denial, poly relationshi, daddy kink if you like squint, slight degradation, (very minimal editing)

note: this was a prompt from my drabble game, but I enjoyed it too much that I thought why not add it to this mini series lol. Enjoy and please please let me know your thoughts. 

also i will be answering asks tonight hehehe and everyone else that left me lovely comments on my feedback rant lol

masterlist || drabble game

“You should wear that more often.”

You jumped upon hearing the smoky lip of your boyfriend's voice. Quickly, you placed the glass of champagne onto the kitchen counter before scurrying and wrapping the sheer robe around yourself tightly. Failing to cover the baby pink lingerie set you adorned. 

He wasn’t supposed to be home yet. 

They weren’t supposed to be home yet, because if Mingyu was home that only meant that Chan was home too. 

“W-What are you guys doing here?” You turned around, setting your elbow down onto the counter awkwardly. The loud drone of the old Jazz record you had playing, didn’t do much to cover your embarrassment and the loud beating of your heart as you looked at both Mingyu and Chan’s smug expression. 

“This is our house too baby.” Chan spoke before pushing himself off the wall. He walked past you dropping his bag onto one of the kitchen chairs, your eyes following his movements closely as he walked to the record player and turned it off. “Valentine’s Day and our anniversary isn’t for another week, what’s the special occasion?” He put the record needle back onto its respective spot and took off the record carefully, looking around for the sleeve before spotting it haphazardly thrown on the couch. With a tisking sound, a shake of his head and a quick glance at Mingyu then you, he walked towards it.

“I’m willing to overlook the mal-treatment of my records if you answer Chan’s question...and honestly.” Mingyu’s voice grabbed your attention once again, this time obviously annoyed. 

Mingyu’s records were his prized possession, sometimes treating them like they were his second skin or his first offspring. He never forbade you or Chan from using them as long as you abided by his rules and more often than not you would forget, Chan always covering up for you so you wouldn’t have to listen to another version of the same lecture Mingyu always gave. 

“Um...no special occasion I just wanted to try on the set I bought last week for our anniversary night.” You mumbled playing with the feathered sleeves of your sheer robe. It was true, your plan had been fool proof until it wasn’t. You were only going to wear it for a few minutes, take some polaroids to leave hidden around the house for them to find and take it off before they came home. Though, you had gotten ahead of yourself the second you saw how beautiful it looked on your body. How it made your insecurities fade away slowly. In celebration for the new found confidence you didn’t want to stray away from yet. You had opened a bottle of champagne and put on your favorite record as you lingered around the living room with a giddy nature that only a child on Christmas morning would have. 

“It’s a shame we were spoiled, now this is all I’m going to think about for the entirety of next week.” Chan said as he walked back to the shelves that kept your books and Mingyu’s record collection. He held it by the denting corners of the sleeve twirling it mindlessly as he went over the abc’s in his mind, before finding its rightful spot between L and N and slipping it back in. 

You chewed on your bottom lip as you felt the tension grow in between the three points of the living room where the three of you were standing in. Chan was now leaning against the bookshelf, arms crossed chewing on his bottom lip, while Mingyu still hadn’t moved from his spot by the front door with you trapped in between them now, holding onto one of the kitchen chairs, keeping your balance. Their looks were almost predatory and it made the skin of your arms rise as well as the desire between your legs. 

There was no way you would survive this night untouched. 

“Why don’t we get a preview, it would be waste to at least not see something you’ve planned for us.” Mingyu nodded, Chan making a sound that can only be categorized as one of approval. Though, you felt weak in the knees ready to drop for them. The confidence you found yourself ensuing when wearing this particular innocent looking set, overcame your senses. 

“Buy me dinner and I’ll think about it.” 

“What’s wrong baby, you wanted dinner didn’t you?” 

You gripped Chan’s forearm like a vice, and bit your lip hard trying to subside the moans that were threatening to spill out. 

Your confidence had depleted to nothing when they both agreed and told you that they would wait in the car for you as you finished getting dressed. On the way towards the hole in the wall restaurant the three of you often visited. One of Mingyu’s hands was gripping the steering wheel hard, while the other found its way inside of your leggings, teasing your slit over your panties. 

“She’s wet enough love.” Mingyu spoke, sending Chan a knowing look through the rearview mirror in which you caught. It only made you wonder if they had had this entire night planned out and your suspicions only grew when Chan had fished out a tiny hot pink vibrator before handing it over to you. 

“Put it inside of you baby.” Chan smirked at you through the rearview mirror before planting a sloppy wet kiss against your cheek. At first you declined, called the two of them insane for suggesting such a thing, let alone in public. But then the thought of them teasing you in public became more appealing and arousing to you, that silently you obliged to their commands. Which is how you found yourself at a loss for words and appetite and on the brink of yet another orgasm, digging your nails into Chan’s bicep as they both ate happily, chatting up a storm. 

“This isn’t fair.” You breathed out, the vibrations dying down to almost nothing, enough for you to breathe. You weren’t sure which of them was controlling the vibrator as they never faltered in giving themselves away. 

“Babe if you don’t eat, your food will get cold.” Chan pointed out, placing his hand over yours and kissing your nose lightly. Your garlic noodles had become an afterthought even before you had ordered them, your mind was focused on the pusing vibrator against your clit and how desperately you needed to orgasm. 

“F-Fuck the food Chan, please let me cum.” You whisper yelled, looking between both of your boyfriends and silently begging them. Whether it was a mistake or not you didn’t care, at least not until the vibrations started up again, this time faster than before. You let out a squeak hiding your pleasure stricken face in Chan’s arm, earning a chuckle from both men. 

“Not until you eat all of your dinner, it’s what you wanted baby.” Mingyu said before reaching over and grabbing your head gently in his palms making you look at him. “You act like a brat, you get treated like one.” He whispered before placing a soft kiss against your swollen lips. Before you could respond he pulled back and sat back down, crossing his arms in front of him a smirk adorning his perfect features. “Now eat baby, eat and we’ll fuck you until you start seeing stars.” The vibrations died down again and finally you realized that one that was in control of your torture was the man sitting next to you. 

“C-Chan, fuck, please just let me cum. I’ll be good, I’ll let the two of you fuck my mouth and my pussy but please I-I need to cum.” You begged and left peppering kisses against his neck. It was a good thing that the waiter had sat the three of you down in a booth, otherwise you wouldn’t have been openly expressing how desperate you were. 

He shuddered and pushed you away before taking a bite out of his steak, ignoring you completely. You could tell that by the way his body had tensed up and how the vibrator moved inside of you at an overwhelming speed, he was close to giving in. If it wasn’t for Mingyu’s warning glare he would’ve given you all the orgasms you wanted, regardless of being in public or not. 

“If you let her, you’ll be joining her.” Mingyu warned. It wasn’t often that Mingyu took over the dominant role in your relationship. Despite him being the one that looked more intimidating he was often underneath you or Chan when it came to the bedroom. Though, there were some days, like today in which his own mouth betrayed him as he spewed the dirtiest things for only you and Chan to hear. 

You pushed your plate of food away and leaned your forehead against the table. The tears had started to pool up in the corner of your eyes as you tried to hold yourself back from your release. And when the vibrations stopped once again you let some of them go along with a sigh of relief. You sat back, whipping your eyes with the back of your hand and crossed your arms in front of you. Mingyu chewed happily on the piece of chicken he had in his mouth, as he looked at your fucked out state. He would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn’t itching to risk getting fined if it meant that he could bend you over the table and fuck you. But his self control was far greater than anything on this planet. He had proved it to both you and Chan whenever the two of you would edge him on for hours. 

“C-Chan, baby, just let cum please.” You looked over at him, your eyes blotchy, looking so fucked out, wishing that he was home instead of the stupid restaurant. He wasn’t even enjoying his food anymore. 

You leaned over and placed a soft kiss against the back of his ear, where his sweet spot was and you saw him grip the handle of his knife hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. “I-I feel so good, don’t you want to feel good with me.” You kissed down his neck and ran your hand over his clothed cock. He was so hard that you let yourself moan loud enough for your two boyfriends to hear, but low enough for it to be drowned out by the loud music that was playing. 

“Fuck, you just want everyone to see how cock hungry you are, isn’t that right baby?” Mingyu tilted his head, his hands holding onto the table to keep himself from touching himself. In truth you and Chan were his weaknesses and more often than not the two of you used that knowledge to your advantage. 

“Yes, I want them to know how much I love being full of cock and cum.” You moaned, your grip on Chan’s cock faltering when the vibrator started up again. It overwhelmed your senses, as you felt your orgasm approach even faster than before. 

“Then cum for us.” Chan whispered in your ear. He had kept his hands away from you the entire time he was controlling the device inside of you, but now he had placed a hand on the inside of your thigh, massaging it gently as he whispered dirty praises in your ear. All while eyeing your boyfriend from across the table. 

Before you knew it, you felt yourself release, falling forward, your forehead hitting the table gently as it traveled through you faster than the speed of light. Mingyu let out a very telling low groan, while Chan’s hand rubbed your back gently. The vibrations against the walls of your pussy came to a complete stop as they fluttered around the hot pink device. 

“Good job baby, you did so good for us and look no one even noticed.” Chan said teasingly before sitting the two of you back, your head against his shoulder as he caressed your arm gently, calming you down. 

“That was so fucking sexy, f-fuck. We need to leave now.” Mingyu rushed out raising his hand up to call over the waiter. 

“No, like you said we need to finish your food first, so be a good boy for me love and put your hand down. We have a long night ahead of us and the two of you need all the energy you can get.” Chan said, before shoving another piece of his steak into his mouth. You knew him being quiet and letting Mingyu take control was just for show. You watched as Mingyu’s overly dominant confidence left his body slowly as he obeyed and lowered his hand, swallowing slowly. 

“Daddy can we punish him?” You smirked and looked up at Chan, resting your chin against his shoulder. You saw a menacing smile appear on his face, indicating that he was more than a fan of the idea of having Mingyu at both of your mercy’s. 

“Of course baby girl.”

#kdiarynet #kpopscape #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen mingyu #seventeen chan #seventeen dino #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu fanfic #mingyu smut #dino imagines #dino fanfiction #dino x reader #dino smut

[bellatrixxue]

Xue’s Supernatural Dare: Wendigo (S1 EP2)

Hello, everyone? How did everyone feel about the finale? Yes? Yes? Oh. Oh. Oh my. Oh, dear.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell that half-assed homophobic chicken-shit fuckbucket’s not gonna stop me, since I strapped myself onto this roller coaster already and I promised I’m not getting out until the ride’s over, so here we go, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Also, those who are in this roller coaster with me, ready? Tag list is: @fangirlxwritesx67​ @amazingiam00​ @kalliravenne​ @indecisive20something​ @2musiclover2​ @impossibletosleepthrough @there-must-be-a-lock​ @wingedcatninja​ @arvit​

Oh my gods this recap is so cheesy I actually can make a fondue out of it. 2000s, everybody!

A WHOLE MINUTE AND A HALF FOR THAT FONDUE

FUCKJUMPSCARETITLEFUCKYOU

So we’re starting the episode with the murder scene first, eh? Is that gonna be a trend?

Oh come on, Chads, you’re out in nature and you’re playing video games? Absorb the nature...before it absorbs you!

Waitwait. Holy shit is that...is that Cory Monteith? Oh, bless his soul...

If the wendigo eats his dick as he’s peeing I’m immediately giving Jensen Ackles $100. For no real reason, I just feel like giving him money for already carrying the show on his back.

I can’t tell if it did or not, so I’m not paying yet.

Aw, Sammy...

"I should have told you the truth.” *Vine voice* BUT YOU DIDN’T

FUCKYOUINTHEASSHOhnightmare. Nightmare. So did he visit her at her grave or not? I need answers.

A week? Goddamn. Poor thing. That man-eating tree’s fucking good at his job, man.

“There’s nothing there, it’s just...woods,” Sam, I don’t know if Jess’s death hit you hard or if you got into law school by eating some ancient dick and/or pussy instead of earning that high score fair and square, but the woods “in the middle of nowhere” (your words) are known to be one of the top places full of weird-ass creatures. Even kindergartners know that.

Ehehehehehehehehe he’s so smol next to his lil bro my lil shit

At least you’re coming up with decent covers this time. No Agent Mulder and Scully ruining things for you this time around.

“Bull” oop-

Oh Dean’s a smoooooooooth operator. Good going, buddy.

AND HE GOT A COPY OF THAT DOCUMENT TEAM DEAN TEAM DEAN

Oh that death really got to Sam. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a trigger-happy psycho. Or eat the man-eating tree and become one himself.

Oh, Haley’s a cutie! Which one’s her brother? Cory? Discount Enrique Iglesias?

Do you have a card for EVERY profession, Dean? And how do I get them too?

That is a very pretty car. I bet they wasted half the budget on that thing.

Okay, sonny boy, little bro, Broseidon, calm down.

Ah, fuck, Haley and Broseidon is gonna go into the woods, that’s more heads to worry about.

How the fuck does Sam find information this fast? I’m impressed, I take five hours to get to one article for my research paper. Or maybe I’m just lazy. So he really earned his law school interview without having to eat dick and pussy, huh.

Every 23 years? What is this, Pennywise? Are we going to see the wendigo do his best Tim Curry do his best scary clown impression? Honk honk?

“Whatever that thing is, it can move.” And the sun rises on the East, Sammy. Why are you so smart and dumb at the same time? Is this his character trait? It might grow on me.

Ahhh, so Sam’s go-to move at interrogation is doing puppy dog eyes and sympathize with the person. He’d make a good lawyer, shame that man-eating tree.

Go Grandpa Exposition, go!

Go Grandpa Exposition, go, give us information and none at all!

OH GEEZ THAT SCAR. PENNYWISE WENDIGO IS VICIOUS.

Skinwalker, Back Dog...Ooh, those all sound cool! I hope we get to see them soon!

‘Corporeal’ doesn’t sound like a real word, but then again, English doesn’t sound like a real language. Sorry. Moving on.

Sam’s gonna eat the wendigo with that attitude, Jesus Christ.

AND HIS BROTHER, AT THIS RATE. If the real villain turns out to be inside Sam all along I’m gonna flip. Is that why women keep dying and burning on ceilings where he sleeps? Is he secretly Lucifer’s spawn or something?

“Oh sweetheart I don’t wear shorts”. They queer-coded him from the start and they tried to make you believe he was straight for fifteen seasons straight? And some people bought that?

Oh, crap, another crappy death treatment for Cory before he got into Glee...No, I wasn’t into Glee, I just watched a few episodes and I might hate Rachel Berry...And Lea Michele...ahem...

Dean is totally flirting with Roy shut upppppppp

OOP AND THERE ROY GOES OH THE SEXUAL TENSION IS HIGH IN THESE WOODS TODAY

“It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with a woman. Ever.” See. Bi. Bi bi bi.

So...why the coordinates, Daddy Negan? Is this a portal to Hell? A place where man-eating trees grow?

*carefully places death flag on Roy*

Ooooh the campsite is very...haunted house-y. You know what I’m saying?

That’s not Discount Enrique Iglesias, but Pennywise wendigo, yes? Those things can mimic human voices, right?

*Google searches*...There are so many versions of this tale I can’t even confirm or deny it. Dammit.

Maybe Pennywise wendigo just wants some snacks and a nice phone and GPS? Maybe he misses his family in uh, Canada or something?

Daddy Negan’s journal is  a e s t h e t i q u e .

I’m so sorry, but the way Sammy smirks as he speaks with those dark, dark voids for eyes? My boy’s a demon. He’s a demon, I’m telling you.

At least Haley has some sense to her. *puts another death flag on Roy*

*PUTS YET ANOTHER DEATH FLAG ON ROY*

True, that. What the heck is Daddy Negan up to with all of this?

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business!” Okay, the way Dean said it gave me chills.

I can actually empathize with Sam here...As whiny and bitchy as he is, he has his reasons to be this way. I guess if I were in his shoes, I’d be less of a Dean and more of a Sam, too. We deal with our losses quite similarly.

Ah, the brotherly bonding moments like these little talks make the show worth it. It’s so heartwarming.

Pennywise wendigo! I didn’t miss you, why’re you here to burst my happy bubble?

I’m starting to see a slight parallel between Haley and Broseidon and Dean and Sammy. Hmm.

Nice meeting you, Roy. Zoop you go.

Haley and Broseidon are taking this rather well, I’m glad they do.

Okay, actual exposition time, thank you.

Whoa, Broseidon speaks! Donner Party! Please don’t remind me of that! Those poor people!

Hibernation and food storage. Delightful, just delightful.

TORCHING? *CALLS RAMMSTEIN*

Somehow, not being able to see the wendigo is scarier to me than what I will probably see itself. Limited budget horror can actually work well.

Oh, dear, Roy literally did a death drop. Badum tissssssssss.

FUCK IT TOOK DEAN THE ONLY CHARACTER I CARE ABOUImean I love you too, Sam! Come on, let’s find him before it’s too late!

A trail of M&Ms! Yes, Broseidon! And Hansel and Gretel refercalled it. Sammy, you and I share the same wavelength?

SHITSHITTHEYTRIPPEDANDFELLINTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Thank the gods the Pennywise wendigo kept them right there. Chances.

DISCOUNT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS IS STILL ALIVE GEEZ BUT ALSO PHEW

Ah, Dean Winchester, I love you so much that I can’t even begin to describe it.

Also how convenient that the flare guns are there. Deus ex machina!

Haley would bode well as a hunter, look at her courage, her will. There are more hunters around than Daddy Negan and the brothers, right?

Yeah, seeing the actual wendigo makes me less scared of it now. It’s unnerving, but still.

TEAM DEAN YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

Graphics are...alright, but it’s the thought that counts!

Running with the grizzly bear story. Smart Broseidon. Ben. Sorry, you deserve to be called by your real name. I think with practice they could become good hunters, along with their Discount Enrique Iglesias brother! Is there a fanfiction for that? Can I write it now?

...

I AM WILLING TO DIE TO PROTECT DEAN WINCHESTER I

Haley’s a lesbian, that’s why she kissed him on the cheek only. Headcanoned. Also I have a crush on her, she’s really pretty? Like? Heart eyes???

Ah, the siblings parallels again. Let’s hope neither of the two brothers end up in the bed like that.

“Man, I hate camping.” Really. Really really. Really.

“I’m driving”

...

SAM WINCHESTER I’M SORRY I EVER SPOKE ILL OF YOU I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE TOO I PROMISE YOU I WILL

It’s just a sassy bisexual brother and his little snide bisexual brother on the road to kill evil creatures and find their father and I love this show? Help? Help???

I really, really see the charm of Supernatural now! I’m fully invested in both brothers and their story, and I’m cheering them both on! Let’s get Daddy Negan back and get rid of that man-eating tree once and for all!

Six stars out of five!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This dare is introducing me to a whole new world, and I really, really am glad I took that jump a few days ago, man!

Thank you everyone for reading my ramblings, and I’ll see you in the day after with the next review! Thank you for sticking with me! Buh-bye!

- Xue

#xue's supernatural dare #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #jensen ackles #sam winchester #jared paladecki #text #i had a really bad day today with my constant pain and aching from the chemo #but this really brought genuine smiles to my face! #what a good show #what a wonderful show #how the FUCK did they fuck it up later #well #i guess i'll find out when i get there lmao

[sleepdeprivedheretic]

Bonds (FatGum x Reader)

Notes: self indulgent trash with a kinda angsty Fatgum mafia au with abo elements and smut. There is heavy violence with kinda dark (but not really) Fatgum who cusses too much and who’s the leader of the mafia. The story gets fluffier and Reader be like: oh well he’s hot, though

Warnings: Triggering elements such as abducting, black markets, dark thoughts, heavy violence, strong language, and mentions of non-con. All characters are over the age of twenty, and the nsfw is fluffy and consensual. Read at your own risk.  

…………

  You remembered vaguely how you got there. You had a bag over your head, then. Kicking and screaming out your lungs, and to no avail. Your abductors had enough, it seemed, and next thing you knew, you had a cloth shoved into your mouth, and then your world faded to black.

You woke up not too long ago. You were wearing a thin tunic that barely covered your thighs as you sat in a cage within a dark room. Your hands were cuffed together, for whatever reason, you couldn’t tell. The faint smell of omegas in distress such as yourself lingered in the cold and empty room. It was a while before a door had opened, letting light from the other room hit yours. You could tell now that it was a basement, with the stairs and a tiny window.  

“So, you’re awake?” A rough voice asked you. You turned your head towards the voice. A beta, you thought as his scent was hardly there. He walked down the stairs, towards you with a nasty smirk.

“Yes.” You answered. It was best to play it safe.

“Good. Let’s get one thing clear, Sweetheart, you’re nobody, now. Your birth certificate, I.D, and anything that ties you to society? Gone.” The beta said all too bluntly moved towards the cage, sitting on a stool in front of it. He looked like your average CEO, dressed in a suit and tie. He stared at you with a cocky expression as fear and agony washed over you.

Everything? You couldn’t help but feel your chest clench with tightness. He grinned at your discomfort, seeming to feed on your distressed pheromones.  

“You know what the real kicker is? Your own fuckin’ parents sold you out. Said that you weren’t the alpha they wanted to continue their company’s legacy. Blech. Now that I know that you’re awake, I’ll make sure the boss knows.”

He finally exclaimed as he patted the bars with mock sympathy, and then got up. He walked up the stairs and opened the door, slamming it as he left.

 Your own parents? Sure you weren’t on good terms with them, and hell, you had your own life. You had your own job, your own apartment, your pets…the thoughts dropped as sadness washed over you.

You couldn’t help but sniffle as fat tears dropped onto your tunic and hands. Everything was gone. You had nobody, now. You were devastated, hurt, and fully alone. You were still in bit of a shock, so the effects of what was happening didn’t fully hit you, yet, but you knew that you were going to mentally break. You felt robbed because of your biology, and you hated the feeling. Darkness crept up on you.

You’re going to be sold. You were going to be sold, fucked, and bred full of unwanted cubs in a dangerous organization with nobody to turn to.  

Light returned to the room as the beta walked down the stairs, holding a tray of food. The smell was delicious, despite it’s origins.

“Now, here’s what’s going to happen. We have had too many vigilantes throwing food, refusing to eat, and being just a stupid mess. I’m going to unlock your handcuffs, but you gotta play nice. Fuck up, and I’ll make you eat this on the floor, got it?” The beta growled. You found yourself nodding. Truthfully, you didn’t care.

Your appetite wasn’t great, but you didn’t want to starve to death. He unlocked the cage, and then your cuffs as he eyed you with the scrutiny of a hawk. Handing you your meal, you took it gingerly as he locked the cage back up.

The chicken and vegetables did look delicious, and despite lacking an appetite, it crawled back to you with the mere smell of the food. You took the fork and ate it with no fuss. You weren’t happy with the world right now, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy what little pleasures were offered to you. This might be the nicest meal that you’ll have in a while, after all.

The beta looked relieved as he watched you.

“That’s it, Sweetheart. It’s a shame, really.” He admitted. Between bites you asked him what happened to your apartment and pets. He gave you a dirty look, but relented.  

“All your stuff was burned, for we don’t need any evidence that you had existed. Your pets went to the pound, and all that your landlady and few friends know is that you’re across seas.”

“How?” You asked, finishing your meal rather quickly. The beta chuckled.

“We’re the dark underbelly. The black market. We have ways.”

He unlocked the cage, put the handcuffs on you again, took your finished tray, and then locked the cage again. It was bleak, cold, and a dark future. You didn’t know how or what to feel. It was like a numbness washing over you. Of course you wanted to fight, and be stubborn, and tell the beta to shove off, but you didn’t.  

“I can’t waste my breath on you too long. You’re being auctioned off, tomorrow, and when you wake up, more than likely you’ll be getting fucked.” He shrugged as he left. You tried your best to ignore his words. It made you close to hyperventilating, and you knew that wasn’t good. There wasn’t much you could do, really. So you held onto some sort of hope that you’ll be fine within the dark.

Although it wasn’t your nest, your head was feeling dizzy and sleepy. You wondered if they spiked the food. You weren’t surprised. On the bright side, at least it’ll help you sleep.

………..

Gunshots and screams made you jump awake. At first, you were confused by your surroundings, but then it all came flooding back. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. As well, right now, you hoped that you weren’t going to get murdered. It might have been more merciful, you thought darkly. The screams had gotten louder, and you pressed yourself against the cage in fear.

The sounds of gunshots were muffled from where you were sitting, but you could tell that they were getting closer. Your tail was twitching like crazy as your ears were pinned back. Your eyes dilated with fear and you felt your heartbeat quickened. Was this it? Were you about to die? With nobody knowing or caring about your whereabouts? You could smell the faint scent of blood from the other room, wondering vaguely on how many people were murdered. It didn’t suit well with you, but all you could do was wait.

The door slowly clicked open, letting light flood the room. A moment passed before a dark southern accent filled the room.

“So that’s where they’ve been hidin’ you.” A man’s voice. You shuddered, not looking up. You wanted to, though. You wanted to know who had that sandalwood scent mixed in with vanilla and of course, the fresh smell of blood.

The footsteps gotten louder as they neared your cage. Honestly, you could feel as if your heartbeat was going to jump out of your throat. Shiny black shoes were right in front of you through the bars. You could see blood splattered across them as well as the pants.          

      “You gonna look up, Princess?” The voice joked. Fearing for your life, you did that.

The handsome tiger alpha was smirking at you with cockiness and mirth shown within his amber eyes, hair disheveled and blood was splattered onto his face, as well.

“So, we’ve gotten to ya before they could sell you, huh?” He squatted down, making sure that you could see him better.

“I guess.” Was all you could say. It sucked on how fearful you were. Of course your pheromones were screaming that you were in distress at this point. He frowned, as he calculated you.

“So more than likely they got rid of your social identity, huh? Let me guess, somebody close to you sold you off?” He pondered. You didn’t know how to respond to that, but you nodded. He sighed aloud, as if contemplating something. He looked at you thoroughly and you tried to keep your shame to yourself. You didn’t like it.

“So, what are your plans when you get outta here?” He questioned, and you did a double-take. You? Leave? Where would you go? You had no clothes, no job, no identity, and no family to support you.

“I don’t know.” You admitted. It was strange. Here you were, talking to a blood-soaked stranger who was eyeing you with a little bit of sympathy and annoyance, not at you, but probably with the situation.

“Did you kill all of them?” You then asked suddenly. His eyes were trained on yours with a serious expression when he answered.

“Yeah. Do you have a problem with it? A stranger blowin’ off heads, covering their own floors with blood and guts? Hearing their screams as they watch their Family get torn to bits by bullets?” He leered. If he was trying to scare you, it only half worked. To be honest, you’re still in shock from everything, and now you were cold and hungry and were at loss on what you were suppose to do.

“No. I don’t know what to really feel, to be honest.” You answered truthfully. For a moment he seemed to lack expression as if thinking about something when he looked at you. Then sighed for the umpteenth time, rather loudly.

“Fuck. Fine.” He reached into his pocket and for a second, you thought that it was his gun. No, it was the keys to your cage and handcuffs.

“You’re in too deep, you know that? Not only being a witness to several murders, but getting involved with the mafia and black market. No identity, no background, nothing. Getting back to society is gonna be a pain in the ass for you. So, I’ll offer you this once, and only once,” He gave you a stern look full of importance, causing your eyes to lock onto his.

 He unlocked your cage, and then your handcuffs. You rubbed your wrists as he eyed the redness to them with a look of disdain.

“unlike today, we rarely kill. The organization that we’ve busted has been targeting young women and omegas, and sellin’ them to whoever. This is my city, and I don’t like that. What I also don’t like, is innocent bystanders or witnesses, and you fit the bills. Now, I’m not going to threaten you, but it’s obvious that you have nothing and nobody. So you should just join me and my family.”  He said all too bluntly.

You knew that he had a point, but to just join the mafia? It wasn’t a rational decision, or your first choice, but the both of you knew that you couldn’t really afford to be rational.    

“Alright.” You found yourself saying, because honestly, what else could you do? He smiled and patted your cheek.

“Your duties might be bland, but we need extra hands in dealing with paperwork and things like that. It wouldn’t hurt for you to work for your clothes and food. As for your living arrangements, we’ll figure it out. I won’t force ya to do anything you wouldn’t like, but just so you know,” His voice darkened a little, and you blanched a little at it.

“I know that this is way off topic, and probably improper, but I’ll say it anyway. You’re going to be on suppressants. We can’t have some of my boys losing their shit in order to pop a knot.” He finished. You felt blood rush to your cheeks with his forward statement, but hastily agreed. You didn’t want to go into heat, soon. Not after the trauma you were still going through.

He lead you out of the basement, and suddenly the smell of blood hit you fully, this time. You didn’t want to look, but you knew that there were bodies laying across the floor with bullet wounds through their heads. Everything instantly made you feel sick to your stomach. Was this the life you’ll be joining? Granted he said that killing didn’t happen, often, but could you believe that?

“Don’t look so sullen. This will no longer concern you, Omega.” He said, noticing your scent and body language of distress.

“It’s a lot to take in.” You admitted. It was as if it was too much, but you were somehow in the twilight zone of shock. You wanted to come to your senses and feel everything at once. You wanted to cry and scream with anguish at how life was rough and unfair. However, you knew that it was futile. Your new life is in the mafia now.  

“I know.” For once, his voice was almost soft, and it caught you off guard. The two of you walked past the bodies, overstepping the blood and other parts that were probably guts, as another scent had hit you.

It was another alpha. You kept looking at your savior, but he didn’t seem too bothered. It was probably his men. Sure enough, there was a red-haired man with dog appendages in his early twenties standing at the door. He grinned when he seen the two of you. Standing beside him must have been a beta, sullenly looking around with slight disgust as his sharp canine ears twitched.

“Eijirou, Tamaki. This is your newest co-worker. Omega, these are my top two men. Now, let’s get out of here.” Your newest boss acknowledged the two guarding the door.

“She looks cold.” Tamaki, the shorter man with jet black hair observed quietly.  

“Taishiro, you’re so mean! You can’t leave a lady like that, it’s unmanly!” Eijirou, the younger man with wild red hair explained. Taishiro, huh? He huffed as his tail twitched with annoyance.  

“Mind your businesses, brats. We’ll get her suited up and comfortable in no time.” He griped. As the four of you were walking outside towards getaway car, you jumped when you felt his jacket being draped over you.

“Shoulda said somethin’ if you were cold.” He grunted.  

“My mind was occupied.” You shrugged, replaying the awful events that lead you here. He didn’t say anything, but you could tell that he probably understood.

The car ride wasn’t really silent. Eijirou was a hyper alpha, and he kept asking you weird questions, such as your name, date of birth, and what your favorite color was. Taishiro and Tamaki mainly stayed silent as Tamaki drove, but they were listening in to your voice.

“How did you know that somebody close to me sold me out?” You bravely asked your new boss. He sniffed a little uncomfortably, but indulged you.

“It’s always been like that. Families who didn’t want an omega, fake friends who are jealous, stuff like that. I use to work for the police force, and you see the same stuff. If we’re askin’ personal questions, Princess, I gotta few.” He then looked at you. You nodded, giving him permission.

“Who in their right fuckin’ minds sold you? I can see that your dynamic is rare. Snow leopard?” He asked bluntly.

“You’re correct. My family didn’t want an omega. They already have my brother, an alpha, and so they saw me as a burden. I had my own job and place, so it wasn’t like they could marry me off.” You admitted. It felt good to get this off of your chest, and you were a little surprised on how much the weight had lifted.

“Bastards. So, you had a job and shit? You, minding your own business, got fuckin’ kidnapped and almost sold because they had issues?” His tone lowered with anger, and to be honest, you couldn’t help but find it nice that somebody seemed to care about you once.

“I started working a job behind their backs at the age of sixteen, moved out legally by seventeen, and at the age of eighteen, I was finally free. They wanted to marry me off at an early age, but couldn’t dig their claws into me. For the next seven years, I’ve been almost no contact with them and just worked hard. I went through college and got a high paying job. I just graduated, recently, unlike my brother.” You rambled on, but he was listening.

“They must’ve heard about your graduation, and then snapped.” He said, putting the pieces together. His tail was swishing with anger, now, and you felt bad that you made him upset for you.

“Don’t worry about it, Boss. They can’t touch me anymore, right?” You asked, and he nodded.

“I’ll skin them alive, Omega, if they try to touch a hair on your head.” He growled out, and you felt inner warmth for the first time in a while envelop you. Although kind of scary, your boss had been nothing but nice and protective over you. The early horrors of you being scared and alone in the cage, as well as the blood still laid there, but they dwindled a little.

“Taishiro, where is she gonna live? She needs clothes, you know?” Eijirou piped up.

“As well as food. She must be starving, knowing how they treat their omegas.” Tamaki added silently.    

   Taishiro seemed to realize his error, and turned towards you again.  “Omega, do you wanna stay with me? I have extra rooms and security gates from strangers, also that way I can keep a closer eye on ya so your parents can’t touch you. If that makes you uncomfortable, our headquarters has a lobby with a couch. It won’t be as much privacy, but if you don’t wanna share a house with an alpha, that’s understandable.” He finished.

You noticed that Eijirou and Tamaki looked a little shocked, but as well as relieved.

“Boss’s house is the safest. No doubt he’ll be looking in on information about your parents, and so you’ll be able to breathe freely in no time.” Tamaki added in shyly. Eijirou nodded.

“It’s so manly!” He choked up and to your small amusement, Taishiro rolled his eyes a bit playfully.

“Alright. I’ll move in with you.” You admitted. Truthfully, you didn’t find yourself minding. If he wanted to take advantage of you, he would have already, and plus, this was the first light at the end of the tunnel you’ve seen in a while. Taishiro smiled.  

“Hey, Tamaki, do you mind dropping us off at my residence? She can take a shower there and wear my clothes. Later today we’ll go shopping for new ones, eh?” He grinned at you, and Tamaki sighed.

“Already you’re treating her like your omega.” He murmured so lowly, but you heard it.  

“Eh? I couldn’t hear you.” Taishiro’s ear twitched at the mostly silent man.

“Nothing. We’ll be there soon, Boss.” He declared.  

On the way, you couldn’t help but think that he was treating you as such. It was scary on how much you didn’t mind. You wanted to tell yourself that this was the leader of the mafia, for crying out loud. You wanted to argue with yourself, but you knew that you had nothing really to argue against, except of course that he was your gunslinger boss, but that’s about it. The car pulled up to a very nice looking place before it stopped. It was a decent sized house with security gates and cameras, and already you could tell that it was safe.

“We’re here. Thanks, boys. We’ll regroup later today. Eijirou, could you bring Midoriya with us later when we shop for clothes? You know I don’t know much about omega shit.” Taishiro grumbled out. Eijirou’s tail wagged.

“Sure! I’m sure my babe will be thrilled to have another omega friend! Just call us when you need us, Tai-chan!” He waved. Taishiro laughed a little.

“Cheeky brat. Anyways, let’s get you cleaned up and into some clothes. Don’t want the neighborhood starin’ at a blood-soaked man and a half-naked woman.” He was grinning, but there was a dark glint in his eyes. You didn’t hesitate to agree, although you couldn’t help but feel shame and a little embarrassed by your lack of dress. He unlocked the gates with a password, unlocked his front door, and the both of you were now inside his house.

It was decently large, furnished, clean, and smelled strongly like his scent. You already liked being here, it was very comforting.

“Here, follow me. I’ll get you some of my clothes, and then you can take a shower.” He offered, and you did. Of course the only spare clothes he had was his, but you didn’t mind. They were better than the tunic. He left you to your own devices as you locked the door, shedding off your tunic and stepping into the tub.

Tears of relief had hit you when you felt the warm spray hit your cold skin. You weren’t being sold or used against your will. You had a caring boss and your future co-workers were friendly and welcoming. True, it was the mafia, but those men deserved it, didn’t they? A life was precious, yes, but they were willing to throw yours under the bus. Then your boss saved you. He didn’t even hesitate to take care of you. You continued on with your shower, trying not to take too long.

The only shampoo and body wash was of course his, but you really wanted to wash away the smell of blood and the icky surroundings that surrounded the supposedly abandoned house that you were caged in. You didn’t mind smelling like your savior, truth be told. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you remembered what Tamaki had said.

Was he treating you like his omega? Sure you were going to get new clothes, but right now, you were going to smell like him and wear his clothes, that he was more than willing to provide. You just got out of emotional trauma, and already you were feeling this way? No. You decided that you must have been going crazy from all the stress.  

He left you an over-sized shirt with socks and loose jeans with a belt, and you slipped them on after drying yourself and brushing your hair. You hoped that it wouldn’t be too awkward. The house, although large, wasn’t too hard to navigate. Especially when the smell of bacon and eggs hit you from the kitchen. He was standing there, in a white tank top, a towel over his wet hair, and shorts, attending to the skillet.

It took a lot of willpower to not admire him too much. Without the suit, you could see his body more clearly; he had a bulky build, his muscles could have been mistaken for fat, and you approved. Sensing your presence, he turned around and the two of you stared at each other.

“Oh, so the pretty lil’ thing’s outta the shower? Here, you must be starvin’.” He broke the silence as he handed you a plate. The smiley face made with bacon and eggs did it. You couldn’t help but snort at the silly gesture as you felt a warm, joyous feeling, and his attention immediately snapped to your smiling face.

“You look good smilin’, Sweetheart.” As soon as he admitted it, he changed the subject with a cough.

“Anyways, after breakfast, I’ll show you to your room and you can get some proper rest. Eijirou and his mate, Izuku will be here, later and we’ll get you some new clothes, alright?” You agreed.

After finishing your meal, he led you to an almost empty bedroom that only had a twin bed and a spare dresser. You didn’t care, you liked it and didn’t hesitate to let the softness of the bed envelop you. Your muscles were still a little sore from sleeping on the cold hard ground, and sleep just came to you easily.

Your eyes fluttered as something poked your nose. Another poke. When you finally opened your eyes, you were greeted by a green haired stranger. His dwarf rabbit ears flicked with amusement.

“Hello, my name is Izuku! About time you awoke! You and I are going shopping!” He piped up. Eijirou’s mate, you recalled.

“It’s nice to meet you.” You answered truthfully, and he beamed.

“Thank you! I know you don’t have much clothes, less any shoes, so Eiji and I piled up clothes that I think you’d like, so shopping wouldn’t take too long and Tai-chan can rest easy.” Izuku giggled. He was an adorable little omega who like Eijirou, was a chatterbox, you decided. You thanked him sincerely, and it was so cute that his little tail wagged with joy.

In your old life, you didn’t have any omega friends, since they were so rare and you were so occupied with work, so it was nice, for once. As you told him this, he squealed and hugged you.  

……………..

To be honest, you were use to working as a secretary, so you had knowledge of blazers, skirts, stockings, and even dress suits. After sorting out the clothes Izuku had brought, you neatly folded them in the dresser. It didn’t take that long for everybody to get into the car and drive to the nearest mall.

You told Taishiro that you wanted the clothes to come out of your future paychecks, in to which he looked a little surprised, but agreed to your conditions. In your mind, he had done so much already, and although you couldn’t pay it back right now, you were going to at least try to earn your things.    

Izuku would giggle and point at such cute clothing, and you’d let him be distracted as you focused on office wear. Taishiro and Eijirou were following from behind, calculating on each omega’s interest. Your eyes lingered on a comfortable looking dark orange hoodie for a little too, long, and then berated yourself mentally for getting distracted.

Although you were aiming for work clothes, Izuku would try to get you to look at the dresses and cute omega wear, and you couldn’t hep but blush in embarrassment, stating that you had home clothes, already thanks to him and he rolled his eyes. “You’d look soooo cute with that, though!” He huffed, but let you do your thing.

While Izuku wasn’t with you while you were looking at prices, he’d give Taishiro and Eijirou a small piece of his mind.

“You know she needs underwear.” Or “You know that she’d look so cute in that.”. He knew that he was being a little over-bearing, but you barely had anything, for Kami’s sake.

When the time to shop was over, you realized that the alphas had already bought their stuff, and Taishiro paid your stuff with his card, and handed you the receipt so that you can pay him back later. You were forever grateful, and you weren’t short on words telling your boss and new friends that. You did feel a little inferior, letting your boss pay for your stuff, and so it made you strengthen your resolve to pay him back and work extra hard.

When you got home, he dumped some bags into your bedroom, and your heart had leapt with such warmth as you spotted the hoodie that you had wanted, earlier. Maybe you didn’t mind if he someday became your alpha, a voice inside you admitted, and you tried to brush it off.

………………………………………..

A year has passed, since then. True to his word, you were on suppressants, and true to your words and resolve, you worked very hard. Your relationship had strengthened with everybody, especially “Tai-chan”, your beloved boss. You began to learn more things about him, how he actually hated killing, and how he saw the injustice of the prison and jail systems, so he decided to fix things, himself. He wanted to quit, however, but he didn’t know what the right time to do so.    

He did so much for you, you couldn’t believe it. Although you weren’t really into society, anymore, he did help you recover your hard-earned degree, and after a long talk, you wanted to work someplace else, but you still wanted to live with him. He was like a safety net to you and your omega instincts were tickled with delight.  

Nothing helped your growing feelings for him, that was for sure. You also took scent blockers, so he couldn’t smell your scent of approval, or at late nights when he was at work, your arousal. You wanted him, and you swore that to your chagrin, everybody but him knew it. Izuku would wink, Eijirou would give you finger guns, and Tamaki would softly say that you should admit your feelings, or somebody else would snatch him up when he was out of earshot.

You didn’t really have your heats, anymore, but you found yourself wanting to spend one with him, and that thought made you decide that you were done waiting. You were a little shy, but you weren’t getting any younger, and you knew that suppressants weren’t really that good for you. When he was just sitting on the couch, you sat beside him. It was your chance.

“I want to talk to you.” You said with such seriousness, he turned off the television, and looked at you, giving you his full attention.

“What is it, Sweetheart?” He asked. You bit your lip, glancing at his piercing attentive gaze as you tried to find the right words.

“If you wanna move out, you can.” His blunt voice echoed through the air. The hurt tone in his voice made your attention snap to him fully. Although he looked tough, you could see that his eyebrows were furrowed, and it looked as if he was trying to keep the look of hurt under control.

“That’s not it, at all, Taishiro.” You answered truthfully, calling out his name. It seemed to work, for his tail relaxed as he then looked at you with a concerned, and dare you say it, hopeful look.

“I love you.” You felt it spill out so naturally, that you didn’t even blanch with confusion or regret. A weight that you haven’t seemed to notice, was lifted off of your shoulders as he then gave you a look of pure shock.

“What?”

“I love you.” You repeated unabashed. Taking in his silence, you let yourself continue.

“Love is a very powerful emotion, but I had never felt it, before. When you took me in, and took care of me, and helped me take care of myself without wanting anything in return, my feelings were already in too deep. I understand if this makes you uncomfortable, or if you never want to reciprocate them-”

You were cut off with surprise as strong arms enveloped you, pushing your back onto the couch, and his hot mouth was onto yours in an instant. He was holding and kissing you, you realized. Your heart melted into a fiery warmth, and joy spread all over you. Words weren’t really spoken, as he licked your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth, granting him entrance as he delved his tongue in.

New. It was your first kiss, but you couldn’t have felt more hotter or eager as he licked the roof of your mouth, your molars, sucked on your tongue, and you tried your best as you moaned into it, threading your fingers through his hair as he bit your bottom lip in retaliation. He pulled away, the both of you panting as he gazed into your glossy eyes.

“Oh, you didn’t know how long I wanted to do that, Sweetheart.” He growled out as he pecked you on the nose. You couldn’t help but giggle a little.

“How long?” You asked.

“When I seen your fine ass half-naked. It wasn’t the best situation, but you’re a very beautiful omega, and I’m a selfish man. I did those things to genuinely help you, though. Yet, I couldn’t help my instincts screaming at me to take care of ya. I was forever battling myself, Darlin’, because I didn’t want your feelings to be akin Stockholme syndrome, although you have free reign to do what you want. Since you’ve decided to live with me willingly, and confessed your feelings,” His eyes glistened dangerously.

“now that I know your feelings for me are genuine, and not some Stockholme syndrome bullshit, I’m going to mark you up prettily. If you don’t want to bear my mark, say something, now, or else I’m going to make you mine.” He growled out, and you couldn’t help but feel a little bit of slick leak out.

“I love you, genuinely. I didn’t know where I stood, seeing that you were my boss and the leader of the mafia. If you’ll have me as your mate, I’ll gladly bear your mark.” You answered truthfully, breaking the dominant atmosphere as his eyes softened and he relaxed a little.

“I love you, too. So damned much, that it hurts. You don’t make it easy on me, bein’ sweet enough to eat, and sticking by me despite who I am and what I go through. There’s nobody else for me but you, Darlin.” He admitted, kissing you a lot more softly, this time as your heart thundered within you chest and you caressed his cheek as you returned it.

The two of you broke away as the glint returned in his eyes again.

“You wanna christian our bedroom?”

……………...(Smut!)

 Your back was against the massive pillows, stark naked with your legs opened and waiting as he eyed you with such a hunger, you were already leaking slick from your entrance. He made you so comfortable, your inner omega crooned as he, naked as you, decided that he had enough waiting.

You kept from yelping as his hot mouth was on you in an instant. Your fingers turned white as they gripped the bed-sheets in a death grip as he suckled on your clit. It was new, and you would have been writhing, if it weren’t for his grip holding you down. You whined as you felt his chuckle reverberate your entrance.

“We’ll take this slow, alright, Sweetheart? I just wanna eat you up~” He purred, ears flicking at your thighs and you jumped a little. He fat tongue licked a strip upwards at your sopping entrance, and decided that he really liked the taste, because he kept tasting it, licking up your juices as he sometimes swirled his tongue around your sensitive bud, giving it a harsh suck as you whimpered and kept writhing. The sheer noises of the act itself wasn’t helping, either, nor was his loud slurping sounds. It made you feel things that you didn’t know that you were capable of feeling.  

“I want to taste you, -ah! Too!” You admitted aloud. He groaned as he pulled away. Your juices were on his chin, and he was looking at you with such a feral look, you wondered if he was close to a rut.

“As you wish.” Was all he said before he maneuvered your bodies to which you were on top of him, facing his dick and you were all but sitting on his face. His hands gripped your legs as he began licking you again, and you wanted to do the same.

It was big and thick, swollen with red and it looked as if it hurt and you felt a little sorry for it. Your mouth watered at the possibility of tasting it, and you wasted no time in your exploration. He groaned when you touched it, wrapping your hands around it gently as you leaned down and tentatively gave an experiential lick. It tasted salty and a little bitter, but at the same time, there was a flavor of sweetness to it. You liked this taste, you decided. It twitched a little, but that didn’t deter you.

All your life you have been ignoring this, and now you wanted it. He was going to be your mate, and you couldn’t wait to be properly fucked. But first. You kept giving it experiential licks, eventually wrapping your mouth around the tip, and sucked. He jumped a little and cursed, and your own entrance was aching, but you wanted to taste more of him.

You felt one of his hands release the grip on one of your thighs, and felt him entering a thick digit into you as you tried to take more of him within your mouth. You couldn’t help but moan around him as he was pushing his fingers within you, stretching you slowly as the lewd sounds echoed within your shared bedroom. You had never been more turned on more than your entire life, and all of this experience was going to be burnt into your brain. You almost choked on him when he was four fingers deep in you, still licking at your slick and clit and your brain was getting fuzzy. Your jaw started to hurt, and he seemed to understand.

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. Just enjoy yourself, alright? We’ll get to the main event, soon.” He said softly as he kissed the back of your thigh tenderly, and your heart melted a little at the warmth. Soon was sooner than you expected, for the next thing you knew, you were straddling his lap, feeling the heat of his dick against the folds of your labia, and you just wanted to sit on it.

He was kissing you again, more slowly and gently, and you felt yourself purring as you gripped onto him. He broke away, grinning but with more softness than his usual cockiness.

“Look at you. So fucking pretty. All mine. I’m going to fuck you on my lap, yeah? When you come, there better be a mark on me, okay, Sweetheart? I’ll do the same.” You agreed as he grinned, gripping your hips, and leading your aching core to his dick. He stopped dead when you stilled a little. You couldn’t help it, though.

“Somethin’ the matter, Dearest?” He asked softly. You shook your head, but then sighed and relented.

“I’ve...never…” You let the sentence drop and his eyes widened a little with surprise, and then a heated look overcame his features.

“So, that was your first time tastin’ a dick, huh?” He pondered as he rubbed himself against your clit. You whimpered and nodded.

“That...this is a little irrelevant, but that was my first kiss, as well.” You stammered and he stilled. He held you close as he then nuzzled your neck, scenting you.

“You need to speak up about these things, alright? I could have just rammed my dick into you and wouldn’t know better.” He murmured, and then pulled away.

“You still want this?” He asked. You nodded. He kissed you, and then gripped your waist with one hand, and his member with the other. He watched your expression closely as he guided himself within you. You felt a pinch, but the way he began to fill you, began to feel like a delicious friction that you had been wanting for a long time. Your walls squeezed around him, and you could feel his hot member pulsing inside you as it stretched you.

He stilled when he finally bottomed out, you sitting on his dick and balls and you opened your eyes to see him watching you intently. You offered a sweet smile and kissed him in reassurance.

“It doesn’t hurt. The stretch is new, but you’re so good to me.” You admitted, and he groaned as he returned your affections.

“I’m going to take really good care of you, Sweetheart. You might not walk for a week, though.” He grinned, and you smiled as you rolled your hips, experiencing the new friction. It was delicious, and you wanted the feeling to last.

 He pulled you tight against him as he slowly began to roll his hips gently, kissing your face and squeezing your breasts as he looked at you with a such a soft look, it made you keen with approval. He was your gentle alpha. You knew that he was fighting his dominant side, and he was holding himself back. You wanted him to go a little faster, and tried to move your hips to increase the pace, but he held you still, making you whine as he chuckled.

“Sorry, Baby, but I wanna savor you like Takoyaki.” He purred and you keened with approval and arousal. You were panting and sighing as your climax was nearing, and he was just eating it up.

“You want pups?” He asked randomly, hand gripping your ass. You couldn’t say much, but you let out a whine of approval. His breathing was getting labored as he rutted a little faster into you.

“’Cause I’ll give up everything to see you swollen and fat with my pups. Fuck the mafia and fuck getting-ah! Shot. I’ve made up my mind. We’re gonna settle down, and we’re gonna look after our kids. Sound good?” He panted out and you nodded.

“Yes!” You hiccuped and he groaned as he felt your walls tighten as you were getting nearer.

“You’re gonna keep your job, of course, and I’ll find somethin’. White picket fence and everything for us, Baby.” He couldn’t help but speed up, his dick was hitting your cervix and balls against your ass with fervor. He tilted his head, pulling you towards his scent gland, waiting to be bit. Your walls tightened around him as your teeth sank into him as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. You pulsed around him and he faltered and cursed as he returned your favor, biting you.

It was official, the both of you belonged to one another, now, and you couldn’t have been happier. Yet, you were so dizzy and tired, your world faded to black.

When you came to, he was looking at you with such a gentle expression as he wiped you down with a clean washcloth.

“I love you, Sweetheart. You did so well for me. You doin’ alright?” You nodded.

“I love you too, Taishiro.” You admitted softly, and he kissed you slowly for the umpteenth time.  

“I meant it, you know. We can go somewhere else, have a bunch of kids, a white picket fence, and hell, maybe a dog. Only if you want it.” He offered rather shyly. Your hand caressed his cheek, making him look at you as you smiled.

“Of course.”

………………….

End. Geezus. Will I stop with the kinks and smut? Probably not. This fic took longer bc of my new job, but I loved writing it. Purely for self indulgence, but everybody is free to like or reblog it <3      

#Taishiro Toyomitsu #Fatgum #Fatgum x reader

[dabiboy]

A/N: This is a personalized piece, since it is a Christmas gift from the secret santa event on the Konoha Simps discord server, aka @konoblog-simps! Sooo, @vs-redemption here it is! I hope you enjoy it 🎉😊

Christmas Night

''C'mon, Miruko. I swear this one is the last time, please'' Hawks pleaded her, for the fourth time that night.

''No, Hawks. I've done this for you lots of times in the past and you haven't done anything about it! You wasted my help, now man up and ask her out already.'' The hero hissed, wanting to smack his arm but it wouldn't be a nice action, especially not in the middle of the Christmas party.

''Listen, I know I've fucked it up but I get nervous, ok? I can't seem to-'' She interrupted him.

''You look more like a chicken than a hawk, honestly.'' Miruko oppressed a laugh at the same time she crossed her arms over her chest, making Keigo look at her with threatening eyes. But more than threatening, it made her laugh even more.

''You're insufferable. Don't be mean, just one last time!'' The winged hero spoke again.

''Even if I do it, what am I supposed to tell them?''

''I... Just tell her that you forgot something on the roof and you need her to go for it.''

''As if I couldn't just hope there. She won't buy it.''

 ''She would if you put just a little bit of attitude. As if you actually wanted to help me''

''Want my opinion?''

''No-'' Keigo hissed as Miruko kept talking.

''I think it is pretty obvious that she's into you too. I mean, the two of you spend a lot of time together. You should just say it!''

''Is not that easy. Every time we're together things flow, and I feel I would ruin the moment if I say something and-'' His breath was caught inside his throat as he saw you walking in. Should he just listen to Miruko, invite you a drink, and just confess everything? That was the most ideal plan, but he saw himself dominated by his instincts. ''Of fuck she's here. I'll be on the rooftop, k'? Thanks, I love you''

Hawks said as he rushed away from you and the rest, because the press that was taking pictures of the event were going to ask him why the hell was he sneaking out through the window.  

On the other hand, there were you. And having a party surrounded with important people, popular heroes and the annoying reporters was not the best plan, and with all the chaos happening and consuming everyone's peace, spending one cold winter night at home sounded great, but there you were, holding a cup with and looking around the big hall to see some familiar faces. Or that specific familiar face.

But was it a good idea? You and Keigo were very close, and everyone was aware of it. Not only because the two of you worked together, or because you met before he started his agency. You fit well together, that was it. He knew how to read you and you knew how to read him, besides the fact that thanks to some late-night patrols turned into honest conversations about life and feelings surrounded by the city noises. But of course, none of you were capable of saying how you feel for each other. It was just pure comprehension, and that was the main trigger. Of course, the way his golden eyes stared at you, or how his perfume was overwhelming were also the reasons why you fell for him. Those and many more.

For Keigo, it happened the same. After years of holding an image, of being the perfect hero, you were the only one who saw through that. Maybe it was an attempt of making your feelings oblivious to the rest, maybe you didn't want to look at him with bright eyes as the world did, but the truth was that you were good at faking it, because no one looked at him with eyes brighter than yours, the difference was, that you were looking at Keigo Takami. The man behind the hero persona, the one that he allowed you to meet after uncountable nights and moments spent together. How could he avoid feeling something for the one person that comprehended him and made him feel at home?

The voices of some other pro heroes you knew took you out of your thoughts, and giving them a smile you started an easy-going conversation, cautiously asking them about the winged hero. 'He must be hiding somewhere, the reporters were looking for him too, and also some fangirls' one of them said with a chuckle, and you couldn't help but feel jealous at the idea. It was true, he had a lot of people going after him, and it was not difficult to imagine that maybe, only maybe he had found an interesting girl and had gone with her.

But there was one person who knew where he was and what he was doing. Or better said, what he was about to do.

''There you are!'' Miruko said as she walked towards you, giving you a warm smile.

''Looking stunning as always'' You said in a compliment, making her smile. And before you could notice, the heroes that were with you had suddenly moved away to carry on with their night.

''Speak for yourself, girl. Did you come alone?'' Tilting her head to the side, she gave you a curious look ''I thought you were coming with Hawks'' Oh, the red cheeks. There they were.

''I-no, I haven't spoken to him, actually. Have you seen-'' Abruptly, Miruko cut you off, hissing in pain.

''I hurt my leg on a mission yesterday, and I forgot my purse on the rooftop. Could you get it from me? Please?'' You looked at her in confusion at the sudden petition.

''Yeah, sure.''

She gave you a wide smile, but you notice something was off. But still, she was your friend and you couldn't say no to such favor. After placing the cup on one of the tables, you took the elevator heading to the rooftop, continuing your way through the small number of stairs leading to the heavy metal door.

The cold air gave you chills, and despite the light of the rest of the buildings it was hard to see around. But then, in the pure form of a silhouette, you saw something that looked like a small box placed on the edge of the building. That should be the purse, or so you thought. Walking slowly to the edge, a voice made you stop right in your tracks. And instead of getting ready to attack, you got scared.

''Damn, kid. How come are you a hero if you get scared that easily?'' There it was. That voice.

''I hate you so much, Hawks!'' You raised your voice a bit, slapping his shoulder when he laughed at you.

''Relax, it was just me.''

''What if I had lost my balance and fell?''

''I would've caught you, obviously. I could never let ya' fall'' He shrugged his shoulders and sat right on the edge, feet hanging.

''I don't trust you that much'' Again, the comments made in order to hide your feelings.

''How mean'' Hawks chuckled one more time, and you couldn't help but join him.

''Shut up'' you said sitting by his side. ''What are you doing here?'' This time you asked, voice filled with curiosity.

''I just... There were too many people down there. And the reporters didn't leave my ass alone for a second. Besides, this view is sick'' He smiled watching the city beneath the two of you.

''Really? Is it better than being down there with all that delicious food, drinks, nice temperature, and music?''

''Yeah, you were not there either. So what was the point?'' Your heart stopped for a second, but before you could say something that made sense, Keigo spoke again ''The only thing that is missing here is some yakitori''

''Yakitori'' You said at the same time as him, making Hawks look at you and smile at you.

''Exactly'' He laughed lowly again.

''By the way, there was a tiny thing here... I think it was Miruko's purse'' looking around, you couldn't find the small box looking object.

''Oh, you mean this?'' Suddenly a feather appeared in front of you, on it was the mysterious item that was far from being a purse. ''Is not Miruko's. It's yours. For you'' And if there was light, Keigo's cheek would be more than red. ''Open it''

No words left your mouth again. How come didn't you get him a present? It was Christmas, and you had nothing for him, but the truth was that Keigo didn't seem to care. He was only worried about you liking his present or not. It was a small box, and you could tell it was dark blue. When you opened it, your eyes went wide. It was a simple bracelet, with a moon pendant hanging. A subtle detail, but a wonderful one.

''The lady at the store said it you could like it. I suck at giving presents'' He placed a hand on the back of his head, a nervous smile on his face.

''I love it, Hawks. It is beautiful'' Pure honesty was in your words. You set the box aside, putting the bracelet on your wrist faster than you thought. ''Thank you, so so much'' Your eyes went back at the blonde man, smiling at him ''But now I feel terrible, because I didn't get you anything'' You covered your face with both hands, as if you were hiding the shame.

''Don't worry about it. I wanted to make you happy, you deserve it''

''But you deserve it too! I want you to be happy too, Hakws. Truly.''

Someone once said, that eyes could speak louder than words. And that was what happened in that moment. Even if you wanted to hide it, even if you wanted to stop yourself from feeling that way your eyes betrayed you, you noticed it and so did he. Your body moved at its own will, and you place your hand on top of Hawk's hand.

His eyes were shining too, and just the sound of the cars down the street and laughs from further buildings seemed to be a perfect atmosphere.

''Well... There is something you could give to me, kid'' Hawks said, sounding kind of shy and serious at the same time.

''And what would that be?'' You whispered.

A loud noise made you look at the big metal door because it opened abruptly, and a feather flew all the way towards the two of you, stopping right above your head. But it wasn't only a feather, it was holding a mistletoe.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh, but you felt relieved. The two of you knew what you wanted, but words were not enough, so that old tradition that was now there did the job. There were no dates, no confessions, only a selfless gift and the warmth of a hand over another one that did the job. Moving yourself a bit closer, you looked down at his lips for brief seconds before kissing him. His hand went to your cheek, and your lips moved softly and tenderly against his. Time stopped, and so the noise and everything else. You could taste the wine on his lips and his familiar perfume making you feel week. As for him? Not even flying up in the sky he felt that way, comfortable, free, at peace.

The kiss was broken because of the lack of air, and his forehead was resting against yours as his thumb caressed your cheekbone at the same time you squeezed his hand delicately.

''Hawks...'' You murmured.

''Keigo. With you I'm Keigo'' He whispered too, eyes still closed as he pulled you in for another soft and short kiss.

''Merry Christmas, Kei'' You said in a way of telling him that the kiss was your present, and a smile appeared on both faces.

''Merry Christmas, to you too'' After leaving another touch on your cheek, he spoke again ''Wanna leave this hell hole and get some yakitori?'' Keigo smiled.

''Sounds like the perfect plan'' You nodded, pulling away so you could look at him.

He stood up, jumping off the roof. A smile was on your face again, finally seeing him better thanks to the light that was where he was, and the way he was smiling made your heart beating crazy against your chest. His wings looked beautiful too, contrasting with the dark blue of the city, and the yellow lights.

''Do you trust me?'' He said with a loud voice, stretching his arms towards you in an invitation of jumping off the roof.

''Only if you promise you'll catch me'' You raised both eyebrows, standing right on the edge, the cold wind hitting your face.

''I said it before, I will never let you fall!'' He screamed again without erasing the smile on his face.

Keigo was right in front of you, arms spread wide and his wings moving swiftly and graciously, at that point, someone from the building across the street must have seen him, but he only cared about the person standing on the edge.

 And you thought for a second, even if you didn't have wings as he did, you were always going to catch him too. And then, with no more hesitation, free from all insecurities, fears, and doubts, trusting with your heart and soul on the man you had in front of you, you jumped. 

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

How would our boys react to their love cooking them dinner that turned out really disgusting? Who would be honest and who would fake it?

Lol ok this is a super old prompt and I am so sorry for that. But I’ve been promised a reward if I finish something so.

Alright, the way I see it there are three potential reactions here:

First we have the Fakers who won’t ever drop the facade.

You had been seeing Marcus for a few weeks and you had agreed to keep it casual, he told you he has gotten out of a pretty serious relationship not too long ago and she had broken his heart. It was flu season in DC and he was bundled up in bed for the second day in a row and you felt terrible for him. You weren’t the greatest cook in the world but you figured chicken noodle soup was easy enough that should couldn’t possibly fuck it up. You were wrong. You were about to toss it and call GrubHub when Marcus shuffled into the kitchen looking pathetic and handsome and stuck a spoon into the pot and into his mouth before you could warn him off it. It must be special FBI training that allowed him to keep the disgust off his face. “Go on, say it, it’s terrible, I really wanted to make you something, but apparently even this is beyond me,” you explain with a frown. He shakes his head and attempts a smile. “No, it’s really good! I love it!” He eats another spoonful and isn’t quite as successful at keeping the grimace off his face. You laugh, “it’s awful, just admit it.” He hugs you to his side and puts the spoon carefully in the sink. “It was great, I’m just you know, not really that hungry.”

Catfish eats your attempt at dish his mother made for the two of you last Christmas with a completely straight face. And manages to eat his entire portion as you stare at him in disbelief, your plate completely ignored. “This is disgusting, how did you choke that down?” He shrugs and pushes his empty plate away. “It was good, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You blink at him. “Fish, that was vile, I know eating army food for decades must have ruined your taste buds, but I can’t believe the damage is this extensive.” He smiles and shrugs. You narrow your eyes at him. “Fine, if this was so great, have mine.” You see the look of panic in his eyes before he sighs, resigned, and actually starts to eat the rest of that terrible dinner you just made.

Then there are the Fakers who pretty quickly break and admit that was pretty terrible.

Max to his credit is very polite when he tells you that it’s “a shame he’s on an all liquid diet now” because that looks delicious. And holds that face for an entire minute before breaking and admitting with a grin, pressing a kiss to your temple, that his sense of smell is about four times better than a bloodhound’s and that whatever that is it smells truly awful.

Ezra tries to assure you that it isn’t burnt too terribly, really, just a little singed, completely edible, truly. His diction becomes more and more flowery and complimentary the longer you stare at the black piece of meat in front of you. He trails off when even he can no longer find reassuring words and sighs, shoulders slumping. “Alright, it does look like the desiccated husk of a beetle, but it’s the thought that really counts my dear.”

Oberyn manages one bite, one compliment that the most gullible child could see through, and when you attempt to call him out on his obvious bullshit, he attempts a tried and true Prince of Dorne tactic and tries to distract you with sex. One hand is around the back of your head, his face buried between your breasts, and his other hand is drifting into your small clothes when you manage to gasp, “admit it, that soup was disgusting.” Oberyn mumbles something and pinches your clit gently. You shudder. “What did you say?” He lifts his head from your breasts and repeats with an irresistible grin, “My apologies, lady, I can’t possibly answer you when I’m otherwise occupied.” And he bends his head to nip sharply at your neck.

Whiskey laughs when you present the loaf of bread you had made to him. You frown at him and he immediately sobers. “Well, I’m sure it’s... delicious!” He rips off a piece and shoves it in his mouth, chewing for a lot longer than any piece of bread should require. Eventually he manages to swallow it and gives you a shaky smile. “Sugar, that was wonderful. Absolutely delicious.” The two of you stare at each other for a few seconds before you crack and start snickering, Whiskey soon following. You toss the loaf onto the counter next to him and climb into his lap taking his face in your hands. “I can’t believe you actually ate that.” He grimaces. “Neither can I sweetheart, it looked like Texas and tasted about what Texas dirt tastes like too.” You laugh and kiss the tip of his nose.

Din returns the plate to you, suspiciously empty. You know how bad it was, you had to eat it too, and so you’re skeptical when he says that he enjoyed it. He’s glad that you can’t see his face through his helmet when you ask him again- but even through that barrier he’s unable to deceive you for long. He sighs at the frown on your face and admits that the baby ate it. “But he really seemed to like it!” You roll your eyes. “Thanks. The baby who eats frogs live really liked that dinner. How lovely.”

Aaaaand the Boys that flat out tell you that was Not Good

Maxwell refuses to try it. Loudly. Repeatedly. Accuses you of attempting to poison him so you can have all his money to yourself. “You could pay me a million dollars and I still wouldn’t put that in my mouth,” he declares, arms crossed over his chest, smirk on his face. “Baby, you already have a million dollars, that’s not much of an incentive.” He cocks an eyebrow at you. “The sentiment still stands. You could offer to blow me continuously for the rest of my life and I still wouldn’t eat whatever that is.” You snort and roll your eyes. “Alright you big baby, where would you like to go out for dinner.”

Tovar eats the whole thing. And doesn’t make a face or say a word. Until you ask him how he liked the meat pie. He meets your eyes directly and tells you honestly that he’s tasted better food eight weeks into a siege. You scoff. “Then why did you eat the whole thing?” He shrugs and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Because you made it for me and it’s wrong to waste food.” Your heart melts a little as he gets up and kisses your fingers softly, a twinkle in his eyes. “Even if I’ve eaten boiled boots that tasted better.” You gasp and smack his chest as he laughs.

Liam at least tastes it. And manages to swallow most of it. But then looks up at you with his serious brown eyes and tells you that he’s been poisoned before and it had tasted better. You start to laugh before you realize he’s entirely serious. You grab his fork and take a bite of it yourself and don’t manage to swallow any of it. “I think that may actually *be* poison,” you cough, trying to wipe the taste of it off your tongue.

Javier sticks his nose in the oven and nearly smacks his head against the top trying to get away from it as fast as he can. He won’t meet you eyes as he closes the door carefully and back away from the appliance. Finally he looks up and you see how hard he’s trying not to laugh, pretty lips pressed tight and dark eyes dancing in the late afternoon sun. He shrugs and can’t hold back his smile any longer. “You can’t be good at everything, princessa.” You sigh, acknowledging how terrible that chicken turned out. He chucks you under your chin and beats a retreat from the kitchen and your “creation”. “Let’s leave the cooking to the professionals from now on, yeah?”

Dave stares at the oven suspiciously from the doorway. You don’t blame him, you were in the kitchen for the entire dinner making process and even you weren’t entirely sure what was bubbling on the stove top. He takes a step back, a smile creasing his handsome face, hands up in surrender. “You know what. I think I might have some MRE’s in the basement still, I think I’ll just try my luck with those.” You roll your eyes and drag the garbage can over to you.

#ask and ye shall recieve #hcs #imagines #writing #pedro pascal #dave york #javier peña #liam #maxwell lord #tovar #din djarin #the mandalorian #agent whiskey #jack daniels #oberyn martell #ezra #max phillips #catfish #frankie morales #francisco morales #marcus pike #the boys

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Kaze no Shou Drama Translation - Shogunate Dogs and Puppies

last post of the month!  so as always, i’ll end by asking if you can please support through ko-fi, through paypal or patreon, the latter will give you early access to my stuff and blog translations (changed the tiers)…. also let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my looking for list  since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that i can share... 

Anyway! im finally done with this! AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE HOW LUCKY I AM THAT THE AUDIO WAS POSTED FOR THIS RECENTLY!

also the 3rd and 5th sanan tsukikage chapters were re-posted so I saved them as pdfs this time (also kazama’s 7th chapter was taken down but i thankfully already had that saved as a pdf). if im lucky, that translator will repost the other chapters they took down... tho i’m likely not going to translate any of that since i still have a shit ton of stuff on my to-do list plus... ginsei no shou is what im interested in... and i really wanna find some saito stuff to translate lol. especially given the cgs. they’re sooooooooooooooooooo pretty!

lol. as always, final edits will be done on the video (will be delayed due to me being busy)... and since I translated this before I actually heard this cd, I just went with what the Mandarin pingyin reads as for several things in this drama translation. also, there’s a lot of barking not directly mentioned in my tl that i didn’t see in the original TL i used for this.

Aside from the Shinsengumi Oni-tan drama, this is the 2nd drama I’ve always wanted to translate... with the 3rd being ???? xD. only translated track 6 of that one for some reason, and it’s a +30 min drama so i have no idea when it’ll get posted (the 4th would be the Thumb-sized samurai one cuz i’m still annoyed at how i only got tl for 4/7 tracks while the 5th would be the vita zuisouroku one”手紙” for the same reason since im missing tl for tracks 1-6 for that. T_T did find tl for the 妖刀始末记 drama cd i was missing translations for though i don’t have the audio for that). 

image from suruga-ya.

enjoy~!  do not repost this elsewhere!

Hakuoki Shinkai Kaze no Shou Drama CD “Shogunate Dogs and Puppies”

Translation by KumoriYami

Hijikata: ha.. really. I didn't expect to work so late. the sun's already gone down/set.

Yamazaki: Although we planned on getting back before dinner... it is unlikely that we'll make it.

Hijikata: Yeah.... now that dinner is over, i hope that those idiots haven't eaten everything.

Yamzaki: vice-commander, if you wish to hurry, we can take shortcuts/a shortcut.

Hijiakta: shortcuts? is there a shortcut nearby?

Yamazaki: Yes, it's not a well-known [??] shortcut, (and) could affect the vice-commander's safety, so I don't really recommend it....

Hijikata: No, it doesn't matter. Lead the way. If the Shinsengumi's vice-commander doesnt dare to go, it would be a problem.

Yamazaki: I understand. Then please, go this way.

Hijikata: So/Originally, as long as you passed this road we'd be near headquarters. But/However this shortcut feels a little creepy.

Yamazaki: There were reports of wild dog attacks here. I'll go first, also vice-commander please make yourself quieter----What was that noise/sound?!

[I assume that Yamazaki means for Hijikata to make quieter movements though I can't say that for certain. "也請副長多加小" literally word for word: also please vice-commander much/many add/plus small]

Hijikata: Yamazaki! Get ready! (sword gets drawn) It's in the grass over there!

Yamazaki: Wa! Wh-what... is that a wild dog?

hijikata: no, it's just a puppy. did it get separated from its parents?

puppy: wuwu.....

Yamazaki: Do-don't come (over)/cause trouble....go!

Hijikata: hey, when you meant wild dogs, did you mean this guy? Although it's a bit surprising, however isn't this cute? I thought it was a bandit/robber——

Kazama: hm, I was wondering what was making so much noise over here, it turns out it was the Shogunate's hunting dog/lackey playing around with a stray dog? What a funny display/an interesting sight to behold.

Yamazaki: You are Kazama Chikage....?!

Hijikata: Che! In a sense, this guy is [even] worse than a bandit/robber...... Why have you come here?!

Kazama: That's my line/what I should bee saying. Avoiding the main road, taking this shortcut to imitate a dog and steal a chicken [idiom], all I can see in my eyes/before me are people with no sense of shame.

Hijikata: Hey! Look at yourself before speaking of others! If you show up here, it also means that you're very suspicious.

Kazama: Hm, applying [accusing] what you saying to others/applying what you are doing to others is proof of how despicable you are. [As expected of the] Shogunate's hunting dog, truly how shameless. I originally had no business with you today, but I am not so forgiving as to ignore a bunch of bastard dogs who are always trying to pick a fight.

Hijikata: Interesting. Want to fight?

Kazama: Hmph, just watch how I cut you, and your sword covered in dog filth.

Hijikatta: That's what I was thinking/just what I want, I'll be able to rid myself of you!

Kazama: hmph, "the weaker dog will always bark/the weaker the dog is, the more it will bark" and that barking has been happening from the start.......This is only the start.... and I'm bored to death! What's wrong, I've been shouting since just now!

Yamazaki: C-calm down, dog! come on! come, sit down!

Hijikata: I think I've suddenly lost my will to fight.... Oi, Kazama! Is this dog yours? If it is, hurry up and take it with you [away]!

Kazama: How stupid! How could I have taken in such a filthy dog. Since you're all dogs, it should be a companion of you guys!

Hijikata: Who knows, we don't have a clue. But, what's to be done about this guy?

Yamazaki: The way it''s been barking, has ruined the atmosphere for a fight.

Kazama: Really...... it's no fun if you're saying that you were disturbed by a puppy barking as an excuse for losing. (sheathes blade). Hey, I'll wait. You guys get that dog to shut up now.

hijiktat: don't talk to yourself!

Kazama: Hurry up! Talking is a waste of time.

Hijikata: Che[? the definition of the TL here is 'to yawn' so i'm guessing that this might be more of a 'tsk' or 'che']! hey yamazaki, you think of a way to get the dog to shut up.

Yamazaki: M-me? If that's an order, I will comply...... but just now it didn't quiet down at all.

Kazama: Haha...... the Shogunate's hunting dog has been fooled by a wild dog? You indeed all resemble each other. 

Hijikata: You don't have the qualification to talk to us! Hey, have you gotten it to shut up yet?

Yamazaki: It apparently seems to be warning us, as long as we aren't hostile, it should be quiet.

Kazama: Oh.....then you've truly given up. It was probably barking because of how dreadful/awful/fearful/hideous your faces look. Do you want to cover up your faces?

Hijikata: What are you saying about our faces being dreadful? Your face looks more awful than ours, so it was probably barking at that? What do you think? Yamazaki.

Yamazaki:......Uh, ah! yes! I believe Kazama's face is extremely dreadful.

Hijikata: hey, wait...... why was that silence just now?

Yamazaki: It, it's nothing! It absolutely didn’t mean anything!

Kazama: Quit it with the senseless questions and answers. Quickly get that dog to be quiet!

Hijikata: damn it! When this is over, remember this (for me [will probably omit that])! Yamazaki, let's go! Hey, isn't it time [for you] to shut up now? If you don't calm down, don't you know what the consequences will be?........Damn, the barking is really difficult to deal with. Be good, don't worry, so stop barking.

Kazama: hey, just now were you guys trying to please [coax?] it?

Hijikata: ah? Don't bother me!!

Puppy: wanwanwanwan, wanwanwan!!!

Yamazaki: Vice-commander, this is counter-productive. it's rare for that guy to be a bit honest......

Kazama: One or two stray/wild dogs cannot be ordered into doing something, it seems that the dignity of the Shogunate's hunting dog is of no use.

Hijikata: You mouth speaks very well...... however in the end, this guy only started barking after you showed up.

Yamazaki: Indeed. That is to say, the reason for this barking isn't us, rather it is you!

Kazama: What? Being unable to get this dog to shut up, you decide to blame someone else? How unsightly.

Yamazaki: If you were unrelated as you say, why does this dog keep barking at you?!

Kazama: Apparently this lowly dog is unable to understand its position. Then I shall personally get it to shut its mouth.

Hijikata: What do you want to do?  Could it be you want to...!

Kazama: It'll only takes a moment to shut it up!

Hijikata: Hey! Stop.... Nn? What's that?

Kazama: ah, since it seems like you want to eat this dango [i’m assuming ‘dango’ is said here since the tl is ‘dumpling.’ usually whenever i see ‘dumpling the audio puts it as dango], I'll give it to you to eat. Dislikeable/ Disagreeable/ Annoying dog [kinda like 'what a disagreeable fellow' i guess? can't really say for certain since no audio].

Hijikata: I thought you were going to kill it!

Kazama: To always cut down those who hinder you........ is it because you normally do such a thing, that you can only think in this way?

Hijikata: There's no such thing! To use food instead of words/To actually say such a thing using food, you're so/truly despicable/mean!

Kazama: That is completely baseless, I only made the use of everything to stop this. Anyway, this guy is only a domestic animal, it's impossible to for it to not have an appetite. What's the matter? Now that it's satisfied, it's quiet so come——

puppy: wan! wanwan......!

Hijikata: What's wrong? It didn't quiet down/calm down at all.

Yamazaki: That seemed to have the opposite effect. It seems to be asking for more/for you to feed it again

Kazama: che, don't you know how to be grateful? what are you dissatisfied with?

HIjikata: Seeing you speak like that, it seems that you also aren't able to accomplish/do it?

Kazama: Let me first say, that it is barking for different reasons. It's barking at you guys because it think your faces are terrible while its barking at me is to ask me to give it more [feed it again... i think makes more sense].

Hijikata: Whatever you say, regardless/in the end, this problem still hasn't been resolved.

Yamazaki: It's as he says/He's right. What are you going to do this time/So what are you going to do with it......

Kazama: Leave it to me, I'll show you what I can do.

Yamazaki: Kazama! You're still trying to kill this dog---

Kazama: Insignificant and lowly dog that is barking! Shut up!!

puppy: wuwu......

Kazama: hmph, see? My majesty/prestige/dignity/authority [??? i guess something like 'behold my authority'?]

Yamazaki: You're just threatening it to keep/stay quiet....? Eh? (It's) Not barking?

Kazama: Okay, now that the annoying guy has shut up, we can continue.

Hijikata: So the outcome/result was like this..........Good grief. Are you ready?

Kazama: I'm up [assuming im ready/prepared].

puppy: wanwanwan! wanwan.......!

Kazama: You guys....! I ordered you to shut up, why are you yelling/barking again?!

Hijikata: What's wrong? You'll have to calm it down and show us.

Yamazaki: Kazama Chikage, what do you intend to do? You took charge of this dog/The dog is in your charge.  

Kazama: Hah....! (sheathes sword) Hmph, dogs and dogs really fit together, I truly am stupid for playing around with you guys. I'm going.

Puppy: wan! wanwan!

Yamazaki: Exactly what does this puppy want?

Hijikata: Is it trying to get between/obstruct/hinder us.... Maybe it's trying to stop us from fighting.

Yamazaki: This... how is that possible/how can this be?

Hijikata: Okay, we've wasted enough time, it's time to go.

Yamzaki: Yes. However/But, how should the dog be handled?

Hijkata: It's impossible to bring it back to headquarters, though it might be heartless... but/however, I believe dogs have their own world. Even if we don't worry about it, it'll survive.

Yamazaki: I understand.

Kazama Chikage, Tsuda Kenjirō Hijikata Toshizou, Miki Shinichiro Yamazaki Susumu, Suzuki Takayuki

--End--

....i wanna complain that ive had no motivation to do anything music related since the pandemic started... tho i’m guessing part of it’s owed to listening to increase of songs from TSFH and metal gear, the majority of which don’t really work on piano... maybe that’ll change if i start a certain switch game lol....

next month, i have various translated things from various mediums scheduled.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki drama translation #hakuoki drama cd #Yamazaki Susumu #Hijikata Toshizou #Kazama Chikage

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid 115

115

115

   Lance fully accepted he was going to be in trouble with Keith. He was too cold to care, regretting not just taking a nap in the main cabin where it was heated by the fireplace. He’d found the quilt, embarrassed by how dirty they’d got it, and had decided to scrub it clean, then his stomach had rebelled, leaving him feeling lousy. Now he was using up all the hot water huddled on the floor of the shower, his by an intense feeling of loneliness that made him feel stupid, and sure Keith would be slightly annoyed there was no hot water if he wanted to shower. He’d felt nauseous at Matt’s scent, now he supposed he was reaping the rewards of his stupidity. Why did it have to be so far from the shower to the bed? He’d had enough blood to have the energy to move. Keith had made the shake almost more blood than shake... but he felt wiped out. Almost as if he hadn’t fed at all. God... This sucked... he was so fucking tired.

     *

Entering the cabin, Keith didn’t need to look for Lance. Hearing the shower, he headed into the bathroom area. The person who’d designed the cabin obviously had no shame. Any sane person would have hidden the toilet instead of the bath and half the shower. Curled into a small ball, Lance had ditched his clothes, Keith sighing fondly at the sight in front of him, unable to blame Lance for seeking out warmth, though he was annoyed to find his boyfriend had hand washed the quilt they’d messed up. He was supposed to check if there was a laundry in the main cabin, but had decided it could wait for later.

  Sticking his hand in the water to reach the taps, it wasn’t warm. He’d expected warm water. What was the point of being in the shower if it wasn’t warm?

“Babe?”

Lance didn’t answer him, his stomach dropping as he crouched down to shake Lance’s shoulder

“Babe, it’s Keith. Can you hear me?”

Lance felt like ice. Gathering his naked boyfriend up, Keith rushed him through the to bed, laying him down before jogging back to grab a towel. All sorts of panicked thoughts in his head. What if Lance had slipped? What if he’d fainted? What if something had happened to the baby? He needed to get him dry and get him warm.

  Towelling Lance off, Lance mumbled at him, and Keith nearly kissed him for it. Mumbling out he was sleeping, changed how Keith saw the situation. The shower must have been warm when Lance climbed in. His boyfriend so tired he’d fallen asleep mid-shower... not that he knew for sure, but Lance was skilled at sleeping in the bath

“Matt, I don’t know if you can hear me but I need you to send Shiro down to our cabin. Lance is really, really cold”

Speaking louder than normal, he really hoped his voice carried enough to be heard over the game the others were playing.

  Towelling Lance over twice, his boyfriend begged to be allowed to sleep, sounding agitated over being cared for. Keith had only gotten as far as putting underwear on his boyfriend when Shiro practically burst into the cabin, making Keith flinch away. The moment Shiro was in the space, the space felt invaded. He felt like Shiro was angry father bursting in to yell at him for making a mess, or to bust him for something someone else in the house blamed him for. Childhood trauma never really faded. Sensing he’d upset him, Shiro raised his hands to show he had nothing in them, taking careful steps towards Lance

“What’s happening?”

“He fell asleep in the shower and the water went cold. His body temperature’s dropped. I need help getting him dressed and up to the main cabin to warm him back up”

“Okay. You hold him and I’ll help dress him”

  Lance didn’t like Shiro touching him. His boyfriend baring his fangs as he roused enough to open those pretty blue eyes of his for a few moments before falling back to sleep. Keith wondered if his protruding teeth mean he was hungry. Pricking his thumb on Lance’s left fang, he slid the digit into Lance’s mouth, Lance sucking lightly

“Keith...”

The way his brother said his name was a warning

“I know. It’s to kick start his body enough for it to realise it’s warmer than it was”

“Does that work?”

No clue. Lance sucking his thumb made it kind of hard to keep the blood flowing to the brain he actually needed

“Can’t hurt to try. I’ll explain it to him later. My main priority is getting him warm again. He’s got his pyjamas in there somewhere. We’ll put them under his main clothes...”

“We should probably grab a blanket too. He did say he wanted to be a “Lance burrito””

“He can be as much of a burrito as he likes once he’s dressed. Shit. I think his boots are in the bathroom”

“I’ll grab them”

   Keith had plenty of experiences being on Lance’s end of things and a few with Shiro in Lance’s position when the loss of Adam was still raw. He loved his brother, but Shiro hadn’t been pregnant with his baby. He’d felt sick to his stomach that he hadn’t been able to do more for Shiro on the nights alcohol shouldered all Shiro’s pain. The best he could do was clean his brother up, get him changed, then into bed. Now he was facing all those feeling again with Lance being so tired. He knew he shouldn’t force his blood on Lance, but Coran said Lance got more from fresh blood. He just hadn’t expected Lance’s tongue to rub against his finger or his boyfriend to whole heartedly suck at his bleeding thumb. Lance was definitely not going to be happy with him. He’d overthink things, then apologise to everyone, simply for falling asleep in the shower. Keith had done that before. Coming back from missions bone tired then showering before he’d had coffee. He was still panicked but unbelievably relieved that it hadn’t been a slip that resulted in Lance on the bathroom floor. Getting Lance into his pants showed no signs associated with slipping.

   With Lance wrapped up like the burrito he longed to be, Keith shooed Shiro off, carrying his boyfriend himself. Lance was snoring now, adorable as hell as he did. His teeth had shrunk back, no longer poking out. Carrying Lance into the cabin, Pidge and Hunk both hit worried mode at the sight of him, Matt and Rieva had moved from in front of the fire, so he could settle down his vampire burrito

“Is he okay? What happened? I thought he was going for nap”

Ahhh Hunk. The constant worrier of the group

“He fell asleep in the shower. He’s fine, fast asleep and the cabin’s like ridiculously cold. So I thought it better he nap in here”

“What kind of idiot falls asleep in the shower?”

Hunk shot Pidge down

“Don’t you start. The amount of times you have and Lance has put you to bed...”

Pidge snappy as she replied

“Shut up. I was drunk”

“Still counts. Why’s he all bundled up if he was in the shower?”

Settling down with Lance propped up against him, Keith kept his arms around him, almost possessively

“He was asleep long enough for the hot water to run out”

“Damn. That’s some bad luck. Luckily he had you to take care of him”

Keith rolled his eyes at Pidge’s teasing tone

“You just wish you’d bundled yourself up”

“Maybe. He does look all cozy like that”

“He’s a Lance burrito”

“And you’re more whipped than Matt. What are we going to do if Lance is napping here? We can’t wake him up”

“I think he’s pretty dead to the world down there”

Keith groaned at Shiro. He saw what he did there

“You’re not funny... but you’re right. I don’t think he’s going to wake up anytime soon”

“Soooo... wanna play the game with us?”

Keith was content to hold Lance, but Lance would scold him for wasting time he could have been using to bond with the others

“I’m not great at games”

He didn’t mind them, he just didn’t have the same degree of interest as Matt and Pidge did. Pidge shrugged it off

“We know, that’s why you’ll be on Hunk’s team. You can be losers together”

    *

The Lance burrito didn’t stir until it was nearly dinner time. Keith sending Pidge for a pillow so his boyfriend would be comfortable sleeping on the floor. His boyfriend made a cute burrito, rolling back and forth when one side would get too warm. Pidge and Shay were going to give him a moustache with permanent marker. Shiro volunteering to do the eyebrows. Keith didn’t find it that funny seeing it wasn’t Lance’s fault he was out of energy. Besides, they weren’t being creative enough.

  Having bummed out of the game on account of his terrible drawing skills, he’d contented himself with his camera again. Lance wasn’t as bad as he thought he was, though he did manage to chop off heads and get his thumb in a couple of shots. He’d got a lot of Keith, and a lot of Kosmo. The pampered pooch sleeping next to Lance on his back... his dog just a little bit special, because there was no way sleeping on his back all the time could be actually comfortable.

  Lance woke in time to bolt for the kitchen, throwing up in the sink. The smell of chicken soup in the air didn’t seem to agree with the vampire. Hunk nearly dropping his wooden spoon over suddenly having Lance hacking up in the sink. Thankfully Shay had decided that watching Lance take a nap was a good idea, leaving them to it, as the others kind of did their own thing. Lance was a talker. Sometimes Keith forgot that there was a thing called “comfortable silence”, and they weren’t all being quiet because he’d done something wrong. Hunk was rubbing Lance’s back, as Keith headed into the kitchen

“He okay, man?”

Keith laughed it off, hoping he was being convincing

“You know vampire and human food. He loves it, until it decides to come back up. He’s got a snack stash in the cabin”

“Man... he hid it so well. I always thought it was a him thing, like he had too pee or something”

  Heaving himself dry, Lance let himself sink back into Keith’s arms as Keith turned the tap on to destroy the evidence

“Why do I taste blood?”

“Because you had it for breakfast and lunch?”

“Oh... ugh. I feel like I napped for hours”

“You did. Fell asleep in the shower”

Lance hummed, Keith noticing the way his boyfriend was still gripping the sink and hoping he was going to throw up again seeing it kind of looked like Hunk’s chicken soup

“Oh... I remember now... the hot water felt too good and it felt like too much effort to move”

“Idiot. I found you on the shower floor. The water went cold”

“That explains so much. I’m nice and warm now”

  Matt interrupted, walking into the kitchen to inspect the large pot of soup

“Talking about nice and warm, Rieva and I are going to take a run before dinner. Have we got time?”

Hunk nodded

“Yep. Give it half an hour and it’ll be ready. Though I’m not sure you should be running around in the slush left behind from the snow”

Matt hugged Hunk

“Not that kind of run, bro. If it’s only half an hour, we’ll save it for tonight”

Hunk redden as he realised

“Oh...”

“All good, man. You’re still getting there. Lance on the other hand has no excuse. If you can’t regulate your temperature, don’t go falling asleep in the shower”

Lance huffed at his friend

“It’s not my fault. It was so nice and warm... seriously, the weather wasn’t suppose to be this cold”

“It looks like it’ll warm up tomorrow. Drink some blood and perk up”

“I’m getting there... I’m allowed to be sleepy”

“Actually, Keith fed you, so you really should have more energy”

  Keith shot Matt a glare

“What makes you say that?”

“Smelt it on you. Plus, you’ve got a scratch on your thumb”

Pulling out his hold, Lance frowned at him, finally putting space between him and the sink

“Babe... No. We talked about this”

“Relax, your teeth were sticking out”

Lance’s right hand came up to cover his mouth self consciously, his left arm wrapping around his waist in a self hug

“Stupid fucking teeth”

“Babe, it’s fine. No one saw, other than Shiro”

“That’s beside the point. These stupid things have a mind of their own”

Now he was in trouble with his boyfriend. Matt could kindly fuck off, though he had a better idea of how to get his revenge. Leaning in, the hunter whispered in his boyfriend’s ear

“Actually, it was pretty hot having you suck on me like that”

  Lance choked on air. Matt scrunching his brow

“Really, man? Was it worth it?”

“Yep. It shut your big mouth up, didn’t it?”

“I don’t want to hear about your kinks”

Hunk simply looked lost, sighing to himself as he went back to his soup

“Babe...”

“It’s fine. You should really have something to eat. You haven’t eaten much, and it’s not good for you”

“Shay...”

“Shay’s taking a nap, man. Keith’s right. Have some blood, take a load off. We’ve got dinner covered”

  Lance raised an eyebrow over how blasé Hunk was being

“See, our chef agrees. Do you want blood or shake? It’s probably better if you have a shake”

“Can we not discuss this? Like... like this”

Lance waved his hand, not okay with things. Keith didn’t see that much of an issue. Hunk knew and accepted it. Maybe he’d been feeling too much love to think about how Lance would react

“Dude, it’s fine. Why don’t you have some wine and relax?”

“See. Hunk’s totally okay with it”

“It’s still weird. Fine, I’ll have some blood. But not in a shake. That soup looks really good”

  Keith’s mind went to how Lance had sucked his thumb. If they had half an hour...

“You know, I don’t mind...”

Lance cut him off, a tinge of pink in his cheeks

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence”

“Okay! That’s enough. Save it for tonight. Lance go drink some blood already. Keith... I’m disappointed in you man”

Keith shrugged Matt’s loud tone off

“If you don’t like it, then don’t listen”

“Oh, I would if I could. Fuck having super hearing”

“Consider it payback for all the times we had to listen to you”

Matt groaned at him

“You’re killing me, man. What happened to the Keith that didn’t used to talk all that much?”

“He started dating Lance. That’s enough guys. Lance, you really should eat”

Now Shiro was joining in... Too much concern and the secret would be blown. Lance casting them a glance that told them all to shut up

“You all suck. Let me eat in peace... weirdos. The lot of you are weirdos. Remind me; Why do I put up with this again?”

“Because you love us?”

“Touché. If anyone wants me, me and my wine bottle will be near the fire”

  Lance grabbed a bottle of blood from the fridge, stalking away with it. Hunk calling out as he left

“Don’t eat too much. You need space for dessert. Shiro helped me make Keith’s cake, and I made macaroons seeing you’ve been talking with Keith about them so much”

Keith let his head drop. Hunk was simply too pure for this world. Shiro chuckling a tad too hard, leaving Hunk looking confused

“Oh, he’s got his mind on macaroons alright and how many he can fit in his stomach”

Had they been closer, Keith would have definitely tried to punch him in the balls

“That’s fine. I made a whole batch up. There’s something like 24 in the container”

That only served to make Shiro laugh more. His brother was going to a special place in hell, and if he kept this up, Keith was going to put him there himself.

#oncebittentwicestupid #once bitten twice stupid #ashratherose

[beyondflashpoint]

Prologue 2: Homeward Bound :

“I don’t understand the detour, Todd. We could have made port directly in Gotham bay and gone directly to father. Your palaver with the addict in Steel city cost us days. Hours at best.”

Jason rolled his eyes. He could sense the kid’s unease even without glancing at him in the rearview. A slight vocalization from the passenger seat indicated that Cassie agreed with the kid.

“First, the ‘addict’ has a name. Roy is an old friend. Second, that pal-whatever got us this car, so we aren’t walking. Third, the League would be expecting us to make landfall in Gotham, and I feel like an extended ninja fight would waste more time than my plan and also draw a lot more unwanted attention. Relax Damian. We’ll have you playing catch with daddy-dearest soon enough.”

“Smart.” Cassie said from beside him, her voice low and gravely from underuse. He couldn’t be sure, but Jason thought she sounded surprised. At least she was talking now, even if it was only one or two words every few days. The constant charades made his head hurt.

Damian clicked his tongue in that annoying way he did and prepared to retort, but Jason nipped that in the bud.

“Bruce has a bunker in Blüdhaven where we can swipe some equipment and feel out the situation in Gotham. According to Roy, Lady Shiva has been spotted in G-town, and there haven’t been any killings that fit her m.o., so it’s safe to assume the League dispatched her to catch us. So caution is the word.”

Cassie shifted uncomfortably at her mother’s name. They had never been close, but they had left things especially messy, as in duel to the death, excommunication messy. Shiva would kill Cassie on sight, and Jason probably not long after. Returning Damian al’Ghul to the Demon’s side was priority one. If he had to guess, Shiva would have deployed with a full attachment, foot soldiers and four other heavy hitters. A full Demon’s Fist, as the League called it. That could be very bad for G-town. Jason was by no means eager to put on tights again, but Bruce’s uniforms offered much better protection than swiped tourist threads, and he needed all the extra time he could get to figure out exactly how this reunion was going to go.

‘Hi Bruce, I’m not dead anymore. Ras dunked me in the Lazarus Pit. Also, I kinda kidnapped your son from Talia because Ras was planning on having him kill you. Also, you have a son. In case you didn’t know. Also this is Lady Shiva’s daughter, but she’s cool. She kicks ass and has decided to leave the League. Also the League is after us.’

Bruce would have a stroke. Maybe he should lead with the son thing.

Jason merged as they approached the exit he wanted.

Come to think of it, there were probably a few of his old friends running the streets of his old stomping grounds. Probably most of them were dead or incarcerated, but one or two of them had to be out and about. He could use eyes on the streets, and slum kids saw things that even the big bad bat didn’t. He’d look into it.

Five years changed things. Roy was a big indication of that. Before Jason’s temporary vacation from the mortal coil, Roy Harper had been a Titan, and Jason’s top guy in the team. Finding out that he’d dropped the mask game had been shocking enough, but the fact that he had been hooked on H AND working out rehab really opened his eyes. Roy had stayed in touch with Dick, as an unofficial sponsor, but he’d completely cut off Olly and the rest of the Star City crew. And now he was running a garage, just a few hours out of the Haven. Jason shuddered to think how the Batfam had changed. And now that he thought about it, five years may as well be fifty on the streets, especially in the Haven.

When Bruce had taken him in, the Red Hood gang had mostly run the Haven, and the less formal Hoodz had sprung up to replace the smaller crews and cliques that permeated Blüdhaven. Time served with the Hoodz could lead to an opportunity at the big leagues with the real Red Hood Gang. That had been Jason’s plan, which had put him in the alley where the batmobile had been parked, which had made him hungry enough for the cred that would come from boosting the tires from the Bat’s whip, which had led him to getting caught by the big bad bat, yadda-yadda, Robin, mother, Clown, crowbar.

But the Hoodz had already been on their way out even back then, with the Black Mask Gang snatching turf on the outskirts. Jason couldn’t begin to imagine who was running the Haven now.

They rode in silence until Jason finally parked in the alley. The sharpness and clarity of memory had to be a result of his dip in the pit. He’d only been to this bunker once, and it had been in the frantic haze of searching for his mother, the first stop on his way out of Gotham for the last time in his old life. Now it was his last stop on his way back to Gotham for the first time in his new life. Ka is a wheel, to quote Mr Stephen King.

He shook these thoughts off as he scanned the street, making sure their entry would go unnoticed, then opened the secret panel and typed the old code into the hidden keypad. The section of wall slid back, and opened to a flight of stairs and the blessed buzz of ac.

“Alright gang, to the bat-bunker.”

He started in without waiting for a reply. Lights buzzed to life as the trio descended the steps and were deposited into the armory. According to Roy, Dick had lived here until he’d gotten on his feet after splitting from Bruce. He still used it as a backup base/crash pad, and Jason could tell from the ratty couch and scattering of clothes. But Grayson was running with Titans 3.0 at the moment, looking into the evil tech dealer called H.I.V.E. so they would have the run of the place for now.

True to fashion, though Dick’s personal possessions were a mess, the armory itself was perfectly organized and orderly. Jason could barely suppress a scoff at the tube containing one of Barbara’s spare batsuits. Vintage black and yellow. He always suspected the two were hooking up. He and Dick didn’t agree on much, but both were of one mind when it came to red heads in tights. It was a shame Roy had let himself go recently. Before he could get too lost in that thought, he realized Damian and Cassandra were both staring at him expectantly.

“Right. We have a few hours of daylight left. I don’t want to move on Gotham till nightfall. Till then, I want you two taking inventory of the gear we have available to us. While you do that, I’ll grab us some food, and scope out the situation street side.”

“If I never have to eat any more of that greasy slop you call fast food, it will be too soon.” Damian said as he made close study of a wall of weapons Grayson had no doubt thought were cool as hell.

“Now you listen here, boy. Big Belly Burger is a staple of American fine dining, and I will not have you blaspheme against it like that in my presence. Besides, you and Cassie order and eat twice as much as I do every time we stop there.”

“TT.”

Cassandra grabbed his shoulder and shared a look that said her next words would be of the utmost importance.

“Milkshake. Strawberry.” She managed without any of the usual false starts.

“Actually, since we’re in the Haven, I thought I’d treat you two to the height of fine dining. Bibbo’s Diner is only a few blocks from here, and you haven’t lived until you’ve had his chicken and waffles.”

Alarm flashed in Cassandra’s eyes, but before it could settle, Jason reassured her.

“And Bibbo’s happens to be the home of the world famous Robin shake. Strawberry, chocolate and banana. It’ll be right up your alley Cassie. And their homemade peach cobbler is out of this world.”

She looked as if she was about to argue, then considered, and acquiesced, lulled into acceptance by the promise of a new sweet treat. The poor girl had been practically made to starve as part of her training. Combined with the laundry list of other abuses she’d faced, Jason had no problem shelling out the extra cash to keep her quickly developing sweet tooth satisfied. Besides, it wasn’t really his money.

It had been quite the adventure so far, and while Bruce would halve balked at Jason’s decision to loot scumbags they’d encountered along the six month journey from Nanda Parbat, Damian and Cassandra saw the necessity of it. Jason had found his people.

“Pull that suit on under your clothes Cass, it’s Kevlar microfiber woven over a layer of high density impact gel. Might not look like it, but it can stop a bullet. There might be an old Robin suit around here somewhere. You’ll know it if you see it. That might fit Damian. Gear up, stretch out, and be ready to move as soon as I get back. If something goes down while I’m gone, find the tallest building in town and wait for me on the roof.” As he talked, he scooped up a spare utility belt from the shelves and clipped it on his waist. A cursory search rewarded him with a tank top sporting the blue bird Dick used as a logo these days (because of corse Dick fucking Grayson bought his own merch), a flannel Jason could tie around his hips to hide the belt, a Gotham Knights cap, and a wad of cash Dick no doubt kept for emergencies.

This qualified, Jason rationalized as he stuffed the bills into a pouch on his belt. Satisfied with his civilian disguise, Jason returned his focus to the duo studying the tools laid out before them. Damian had slipped a samurai sword into his belt at some point and was now testing the weight of the stylized throwing stars (Wingdings?) laid out on the shelves. Cassandra was running through forms with a pair of batons, and was mildly startled by the arc of electricity that cracked between them when she happened upon the triggers. Shock turned to awe, turned to a pleased smirk. They’d be fine for a few hours. Probably.

He tried not to think too hard about the many ways they could kill, explode, or otherwise maim each other in his absence.

They’d be fine.

It took him an hour of scoping the usual hangs to get anything useful. The Row kids had relocated to an orphanage in G-town. The Brown girl and the kid that followed her like a lost puppy were m.i.a., Rome was in Blackgate, Garcia was dead, Diego dead, Carter dead, Crock m.i.a., Philippe jail, Jessie jail, dead, jail, jail, jail, dead, dead, Morales was working the youth center after a stint in Blackgate, which was good to hear. Finally he happened upon a decent lead, almost by accident.

One of his old crew from the Hoodz days was still out and about, and running a little cluster of the Hoodz.

Jason entered the ratty apartment Sasha shared with her father Nico though the fire escape. It was just as messy as he remembered. On the table beside the couch was a glass bowl, packed but untouched. It was tempting, but Jason hadn’t gotten high since his Robin days. The siren song of the crumpled pack of full flavored cigarettes, however, was irresistible. He plucked one free and lit it as he dropped into the tattered leather recliner across from the couch where Sasha snoozed. That first draw was harsh, and started him coughing. Five years had robbed him of his experienced smoker status.

Sasha groaned groggily, stirred by his hacking and sat up slowly, blindly groping for a cig herself.

“Told you to stop snatching my smokes if you can’t handle ‘em old man.” She chastised drowsily.

“Just out of practice Sash. Haven’t had one since the last time we talked.”

It took a moment for the strange voice to register, but when it did, her hand flew under her pillow. Before it came back out, Jason freed a birdarang (wingding?) and sent the glock flying.

“Fuck!”

“Shit, Sash, you pack now? I must’a missed a lot.”

Her eyes darted from her hand, which would be bruised for the next few days, and Jason, who chanced a longer drag from the stolen cigarette and pulled off his hat. This one went down smoothly.

“Jay-bird?” She stuttered as the pieces came together. Even without the shoot of white hair and the scars crisscrossing his face, five years was a lot of growing room.

“Nah. Nah, man. You died.” He leaned over the table, plucked another cig from the pack and offered it to her. She took it and let him light it.

“Didn’t take.”

“Dude, you definitely died. Me and the crew crashed the funeral, had to cause daddy Warbucks wouldn’t let no street rats in. News said you bought it in a skiing accident in the Alps or some shit.”

“I ain’t here for that Sash. I just want some info.”

She dropped the cigarette half smoked into an open beer can, opting to wake-and-bake instead. Jason couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t often you woke up to a ghost chilling in your living room. She took a few hits and offered him the pipe and lighter.

“Another time Sash. I got shit to do.”

“Right, and you need little Sasha to tell you what’s what. But little Sasha wants some info too, Jay-bird. Like where you been for five, and why you look like rough road.”

“I got blown up, and ninja’s in the Middle East brought me back to life and taught me ninja shit. My turn. Anyone strange running jobs in the Haven, or is it all Loco shit?”

“Hold up, ninjas? The fuck man?”

“Sash.” She hesitated, then took another hit from the bowl.

“Okay. Since you been gone, the Hoodz and the Black Masks called a truce to push out the Riddler gang. Falcone’s kid made a comeback, and is trying to take the whole Haven. Masks and Hoodz are gonna push him out too. His boys mostly run the Narrows. Then there’s this new guy my dad is running supplies for. Very strange. Outsider type. Fuckin spooky. He wears a pig mask and steals kids. The Masks are scared he’s gonna bring the Bat down on us. I’m not gonna lie, I kinda hope the Bat does come for him. I only seen him once and he freaked me out. Lucky you dropped in when you did. Dad’s talking about splitting soon. He don’t like Pig-face either.”

Jason listened intently. By the time she’d finished talking, he’d finished his cigarette. Paying attention was hard in that woozy high that came from the sudden influx of nicotine, but he’d gathered what he needed. The League wasn’t moving in Blüdhaven.

“You filled out good Jay-bird. I’d almost believe you were hanging with ninjas.”

Jarred from his thoughts, Jason stood, swiping another cigarette from the pack.

“I’d get out of town if I were you Sash. And out of gang-life.” He paused and scooped up the stylized ski-mask that marked members of the Hoodz. “I’d rather not have to crash your funeral.” She watched him make his way to the window, but said nothing.

With daylight to burn, Jason began his trek back to the bunker, taking a detour by Bibbo’s to acquire the promised delicacies.

He was not prepared for what his triumphant return to the bunker brought him.

Silence hung eerily over the now dark headquarters. The space had been tidied thoroughly, Dick’s discarded clothing organized, folded, and neatly stacked. Pinned to the chair in front of the large Bat Computer doppelgänger with a batarang (wingding?) was a note written in neat, curling scrawl which Jason instantly recognized as belonging to Damian.

“Todd,

In your absence I have determined that your course of action is actually strategically sound. After overcoming the computer’s laughable attempt at security, I have ascertained that there is a criminal element operating in this city which might draw,” the word father was struck through with two neat lines, “Batman, and potentially ruin any attempt at stealth. I believe we must handle the meeting between ourselves and Batman delicately, and on our own terms. Because of this I have determined the best course of action is to deal with this so-called ‘Professor Pyg’ with haste.

Should you return before we have settled matters, and wish to join us on this mission, you may find all the relevant information pertaining to Pyg (alias to one Lazlo Valentin) by pressing the large rectangular key which reads enter. I’m sure Cain and I would benefit from your expertises in these matters.”

Jason hadn’t believed it was possible to convey sarcasm through the written word. Until today.

“Ps. If you are determined to acquire sustenance before returning, I still do not like ketchup. Mushrooms are okay. Cain requests extra fries.

Pps. In keeping with the traditions laid out in your tales of the Batman’s adventures, Cain and I have decided to wear masks. If you do decide to join us, you might not recognize us, but we have agreed not to harm you.

Sincerely,

Damian al’Ghul, Grandson of the Demon, Heir to the Demon’s Head.”

Jason crumpled the note. The Batgirl uniform was gone, as well as a reasonable chunk of the armory. He’d have to move quickly.

-

The decision to pursue and subdue Valentin had been mostly motivated by three things. The first he had laid out in his letter to Todd. The second he had shared with Cain, boredom. The third he would reveal to no one, on pain of death. In the years since he had regained his memory, Todd had recounted every story he knew pertaining to Batman. Those stories had motivated him to come to Gotham and meet his father, leaving behind his mother and grandfather, possibly abandoning his great destiny. Those stories had told him more about his father as a man than his mother or grandfather ever had. They painted Bruce Wayne as a titan among men, a pillar of strength and will, and a paragon of virtue and honor. In all honesty, Damian was intimidated by that man. But he was also inspired. The third reason he had decided to pursue and subdue Valentin was to feel connected with his father.

Locating “Pyg” was a simple enough matter. First he plotted out all of the kidnappings that matched Pyg’s M.O. it would seem that Batman had been keeping an eye on Pyg, because he was the chief suspect in the manufacture and distribution of a drug gangs were using to pacify prostitutes. But he’d overlooked the kidnappings. By mapping those, cross referencing places that stored or manufactured components for the drug, Damian was able to triangulate possible hideouts this Pyg could be using. Of the three possibilities, only one was currently unused, an so Damian had settled on the abandoned theme park, ignoring how horribly cliched it was.

Cain had followed Todd’s instructions and donned the Batgirl uniform, but had decided against layering civilian clothes over it. He couldn’t blame her, with the summer heat stifling as it was. Damian had opted for the League’s stealth uniform which he’d carried across half the world. Then the two had gone at the veritable armory like children in a candy shop. Few of Todd’s stories included Grayson, and those that did made him out to be asinine and annoying. But his selection of toys was impressive by all accounts. Smoke bombs, flash-bangs, teargas, plastic explosives, acetylene torches, inferred flashlights, air powered line launchers, and many of the oddly shaped throwing stars Todd had called “batarangs.” The belts which Damian had crisscrossed his chest like bandoliers were jam packed with more of these tools than Damian had imagined was possible, as well as a first-aid kit and handcuffs.

Once they were outfitted and armed, Damian led them to the car Todd had conned out of the addict. The drive to their location was in silence, both mentally preparing for whatever they might encounter along the way. They passed the location several times, marking potential hiding places, paths of retreat and places that could host an ambush.

Once Damian was satisfied he parked the car a block away and they took to the rooftops to preform reconnaissance from above. The park was dilapidated, derelict, and most likely overflowing with vermin. But for the most part it seemed structurally sound. After brief deliberation, the duo decided they were adequately prepared for whatever they may encounter, and thus began their assault.

There is an old proverb that Damian would often think back on when remembering this first act of vigilantism.

“Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

He thought he was ready for anything, but he was wrong.

-

Dick Grayson had apparently undergone a biker phase, which was good for Jason, because Roy’s car was gone. The modified superbike flew through the streets and cut between traffic like a dream. Jason had intended to return everything he’d stolen from Dick, but with every hairpin turn he grew more and more inclined to keep the bike. And maybe the jacket too. It matched the mask he’d swiped from Sash. And it was way too badass for Richard John Grayson.

He’d rushed out of the bunker with a stomach full of rage and fear, blended poorly so an acrid burn stung at the back of his throat. He imagined this was how Bruce must have felt every time he did something reckless. The dynamic dumbasses hadn’t even taken communicators with them.

He briefly wished he’d inventoried his belt before stepping out, but Dick had always been anal about his gear. So had he, now that he though about it. Bruce had drilled him on it relentlessly, having him empty and refill his belt over and over for hours until Jason knew exactly how much of what was in each pouch, and could find anything blindfolded or in the heat of battle. Thinking about it brought back the sharpened calm that came with patrols and missions. It was like the emotions were compressed and pushed back into a compartment on his brain’s utility belt. Not gone, just stored away. He twisted the throttle as far as it would go.

Once upon a time, he’d have cased the joint before getting close. Once upon a time, he’d have come from above, all stealth and shadows, and only dropped in once he had a clear vision of what was happening inside. Today he barreled through a hole in the fence at almost two hundred miles per hour with the engine screaming and fishtailed to a stop as close to the park’s rotting funhouse as he could without transforming himself into a pancake.

Kickstand dropped, and feet pounded against dry rotted wood. Jason had almost made it to the door before his ears registered the sounds of a struggle from within. He cursed his favorite curse as he filled his hand with smoke pellets and prepared to join the fray. With his free hand he pulled the line-launcher and took aim. He was topside in a heartbeat, and could practically hear the cape flutter that would have accompanied the motion in his Robin days. With practiced proficiency he located a skylight and paused to survey the scene from above.

Damian and Cass were surrounded. As if that wasn’t bad enough, their attackers were the aforementioned legion of League foot soldiers Jason had been eager to avoid. They seemed to be holding their own well enough for now, but outside their field of view Shiva was preparing to join the battle. Also moving in were the rest of the Demon’s Fist. Bronze Tiger, Cheshire, Ubu, and Mara al’Ghul. Things were well on their way to getting messy. Jason cursed again. Ubu was the meanest and the ugliest. Also the closest.

“Fuck it. Prison rules.”

He tossed the fistful I’d smoke pellets and dropped in as the cloud spread over the crowd.

Ubu was a hulking brute, and made a piss poor cushion, but he was a big enough target that Jason had no fear of missing. The sound the giant’s head made when Jason’s knee made contact with it was something like a watermelon falling off a truck at fifty, and was nostalgically comedic combined with the guttural grunt he released before flopping onto the floor like a sack of potatoes. But Jason couldn’t say if he laughed or not. All of his attention was on hurling wingdings (wingdings) into the smoke at the predicted positions of his foes. There were more than a few grunts, and a couple of clatters as weapons were dropped from struck hands. But not nearly enough, and the disorientation didn’t last long. This was League tactics, after all, and only slightly modified by Batman. Cass and Damian also got back to business, and everything was chaos once more.

Jason registered a shift in the cloud with barely enough time to dodge, and one of Shiva’s twin swords cut through the haze only millimeters from his chin. It was quickly followed by the other, this time arching towards his chest. Robin loosed a volley of wingdings in rapid succession, but the clash of metal on metal told him how effective that tactic was. Gripping one of the larger tools like a set of knuckle dusters, he advanced.

In his day the birdarangs had focused more on reducing weight than on durability, and it seemed that was still the case. Robin had only redirected a few glancing blows, and he could already feel the thing cracking. The smoke was fading quickly, and he could mostly see Shiva now. Which meant she could see him too. After blocking yet another strike which came way to close to opening his throat Robin stepped back and loosed one of the explosive discs that had been his favorites. Shiva was an expert, and had her swords prepared to swat it aside when it detonated, and the small explosion sent her blades flying.

Pressing the advantage Robin moved in. Hand-to-hand odds not in his favor either. Better than unarmed against swords. No cape to distract or disorient. Fight dirty.

Dodge high, block low. Opening when she kicks high, knock her off her feet.

It was alarming how quickly he fell back into his training. Batman had taught him a lot, and years of street fights had taught him more. Then there was his time playing amnesiac with the League. Jason winning.

Shiva was on her feet again before anything more than her shoulders touched the ground, and at some point she’d regained her swords, but Jason was ready, and before she realized what was happening, he clapped her ears. The pressure of the strike would have been disorienting on its own, but coupled with the detonation of the micro-flash-bangs cupped in Jason’s hands, Shiva crumpled like a rag doll.

The cloud had completely dissolved now, and Jason easily dodged the sai Cheshire flung at him. Of course this put him in excellent position to catch Bronze Tiger’s shin with his whole stomach. Breathless and airborne, he could do nothing about the pinwheel kick Cheshire dropped on his rib cage. The familiar crunch told him that two were cracked before the pain started up.

Jason landed hard, and Cheshire straddled his waist the second he had. Her other sai raised in both hands, prepared to fall into his throat.

“Enough.”

Silence fell in place of the killing blow. Cheshire looks to her left and Jason followed suit.

The few League grunts that remained standing parted as Talia al’Ghul strode across the battle field to Damian, who still held his blade in a ready position with eyes glued to his cousin. She hadn’t lowered her weapons either. The two had been bitter rivals from the day they’d met.

“Mother.” Damian said with all the tenderness of a freezer burned pork chop.

Without another word she dropped to her knees and embraced him.

After a brief awkward silence, she turned his face towards hers.“What is the reason for this foolishness, son?”

Damian freed himself from her grip. “Is it foolish for a boy to seek his father?”

Talia clicked her tongue in the same fashion that Damian was so fond of, and rose to her feet.

“I would have taken you to meet him in time, Damian. When I decided you were ready.”

“Taken me to kill him. Todd told me everything.” Talia turned her gaze to Jason, who waved awkwardly.

“Let him up, Cheshire.” The masked assassin complied quickly, and even gave Jason a hand standing.

“So this was your doing Ibn al Xu’ffasch?”

‘Son of the Bat.’ The name they had given him at the dawn of his second life. Jason pulled off the mask which was apparently doing him no good, and shrugged.

“Tt” Talia turned her attention to Cassandra, who had frozen in place with her baton less than an inch from a grunt’s nose. There was a circle of (probably) unconscious goons at her feet.

“I’d suspected you’d finally had your fill of your mother’s poor treatment and taken the boys hostage.” She turned back to Jason. “When did you regain your memory?”

“Midway through my second year with you all.” Talia nodded as if she’d expected as much, then turned back to Damian.

“I assume that you are serious about meeting your father, yes? Even if I were to drag you back, you’d simply escape again, isn’t that right?”

“Yes mother.” Talia nodded again. Then produced a sealed envelope from within her jumpsuit.

“I expected as much you are at that age where you think you know everything. This letter will explain everything. Deliver it directly to your father, and no one else. Understand?” Damian took the envelope cautiously, as if expecting it to bite him. Once he had it in hand she knelt again, placing her hands on his shoulders tenderly. “I would never send you to kill your father. Nor you Ibn al Xu’ffasch. My father would do no such thing either.”

“But Todd said-“

“Do not misunderstand me, I do not claim Ibn al Xu’ffasch lied. There are those within the League that believe Ras al’Ghul has been too long the Demon’s Head. There are whispers of a coupe. I do not doubt such plans involve removing my beloved from play. I intended to see you in his care soon enough.” She turned to look over the assassins. “We return to Nanda Parbat. None shall further impede these three, by my word, or face my wrath. My will is the Demon’s will.”

The assassins snapped as one into a bow, and set about gathering the wounded. She moved through the crowd to stand in front of Jason and cupped his face, smiling gently.

“Father swore to make no move on Gotham for as long as my beloved draws breath. He made this oath before the whole of the League of Assassins, and forbade any of them to move on Gotham in his name, on pain of death. This was his penance for your death. His sole intent was to return the son he’d taken from my beloved.”

“Uh, okay?”

“I have enjoyed having you in my home Ibn al Xu’ffasch. You have been as a brother to my son, and a son to me. Look after him, Ibn, for he is too much like his father for his own good.”

“If he’s anything like Bruce, I won’t have to.” Talia chuckled, pat his shoulder, and turned to Cassandra, who seemed to materialize at Jason’s side.

“Cassandra, you are welcome to return with us. You have my word that you will have no trouble.” Cass shook her head.

“They die without me.” She said, patting Jason’s shoulder. His jaw dropped, he’d never heard Cass say so much at one time. Talia had never heard her speak period, but to her credit she only cocked an eyebrow.

“Quite.” She said then returned to Damian.

“When all is well once more, I will send for you, my son. Learn what you can from your father. He is a great man.” Damian nodded, and Talia only lingered for a moment before following the last of the assassins out of the building.

The trio stood in silence for a time, until Jason realized they were waiting for him to tell them what to do next.

“Well. That was fun. Who wants soggy chicken and waffles?” Damian narrowed his eyes, but Cass’s hand shot up. “What? So I picked up food. I wasn’t expecting you two to run off for some daring-do and stumble into an obvious trap.” Damian’s eyes narrowed further. “Okay, after we eat we’ll go straight to the Batcave, no detours, no shenanigans, scouts honor.”

Damian rolled his eyes and started for the exit. “I’ll drive.” He stated as Jason and Cass fell in behind him.

“My turn.” Cass retorted.

“Do you even know how?” Damian probed, eyeing her doubtfully.

“You’re mighty talkative today Cass.” Jason quipped. Cassandra replied by sticking her tongue out. He understood her good mood. Their six month misadventure was almost over. As they stepped out into the summer night Jason looked to the sky, and pulled the pair to a stop. From this side of Blüdhaven you could see it clearly enough. For the first time in five years Jason looked up at the Bat-Signal, and pointed it out to the others.

He couldn’t hold back the smile brought on by the wonder he saw in his companion’s faces.

Homeward bound.

-END

Author’s Notes: this chapter is long, and maybe a bit rambling, but mostly because there’s room for two whole multichapter fics in here. Seriously, I was half tempted to start writing a Damian Cass and Jason cross country road trip full of shenanigans and hilarity. For those wondering, this takes place five years after prologue 1. It took me longer than I thought it would to edit, between baking cheesecake, doing some bag work, and feeling out crafting with worbla. That being said, the next prologue will take even longer (unfortunately(?)) because I want to make sure my events make sense and everything is lined up perfectly and ready for the series proper to begin immediately after.

Feel free to comment, complain, keysmash, or just like and reblog. I THRIVE on your reactions.

Till next time!

#beyond flashpoint #beyond flashpont au #dc animated universe #dc animated movie universe #dc au #dcau #dc fanfic #jason todd #jason todd robin #jason todd red hood #robin ii #the red hood #red hood #damian al ghul #damian wayne #robin iv #cassie cain #cass cain #cassandra cain #batgirl #batgirl ii #orphan #orphan dc

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Not What It’s Cracked Up To Be ch.2 (baon)

Summary: Edge and Stretch are finally getting back on an even keel. Edge’s broken leg is healing well, Spring is finally here and the flowers are close to blooming.

Be a shame if anything disturbed their domestic bliss.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Fluff, Chickens

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Chapter 1  

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Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

If Stretch had to make a top ten list of people that he expected to find at his front door on any given day, Papyrus would be on it, but Stretch had to guiltily admit, he would have been close to the bottom of the list, just below the mailperson.

It wasn't that Stretch didn't like Papyrus, he really did, but somehow, their paths didn't cross that often. Papyrus did a lot of work up at the Embassy and spent time training with Undyne and the rest of the security team. He had his own group down at the Y like Edge did of younger kids and every year they did a nature hike out in the wilds of Ebott, down the walking path that ran behind the shopping center.

Papyrus had his own gig going on and that was fine, but it did mean they mostly saw each other on movie nights and holidays. Kinda like cousins, maybe, not that Stretch ever had any. Not exactly close family, but family, nonetheless.

Now, finding Papyrus AND Jeff on his porch? Both of them with their arms loaded with plastic food containers and cups from the Beanery that looked to be filled with gloriously caffeinated concoctions? That wasn’t anywhere on Stretch’s top ten list or even in the top fifty. That was one that might’ve wandered onto an alternate list in the AM hours when Stretch couldn’t sleep, but even then, the odds weren’t good.

Papyrus’s grin of maniacal cheer, though, that was to be expected. It was the same one Blue got going when he had a scheme up his pant leg and that made warnings prickles stand up and do the cha-cha-cha on Stretch’s spine.

“hey, guys,” Stretch said slowly, “what’s going on?”

“What is going on is we are here to see you!” Papyrus said cheerily. He shifted the boxes in his arms. “We can continue going by you letting us inside!”

“I mean, you can leave us on the porch if you want,” Jeff’s grin was less maniacal, at least. Honestly, he looked tired and also like he wasn’t about to let that slow him down. “We’ll just stand here, alone, sad and pining for the fjords, wasting away—”

“yeah, yeah, i get it,” Stretch grinned and held open the door. “come in before the neighbors get interested. they already think we’re better than netflix.”

Papyrus and Jeff trooped inside, and Stretch took a second to peek out the front door. Edge was still working diligently on his flowerbeds, so that was fine. He saw Stretch looking and blew him a kiss and maybe catching it was pretend, but the warmth in his soul from it was plenty real.

Didn’t mean Stretch missed that his loving traitor didn’t come inside, though.

By the time he closed the front door, Jeff and Papyrus had taken over the coffee table. There were several plastic containers alongside the drink cups and okay, yeah, Stretch was curious to see what largess had been brought to them. Hopefully not too much, with his cast off and permission to stand, Edge was probably itching to get back into the kitchen. He’d graciously accept anything the guys brought over, probably, and then he’d be stuck between his urgent need to make food for everyone in sight and his need not to waste any morsel that came into the house. It was a bit of a balancing act and Edge was already wobbly on his feet.

Stretch wandered over to give one of the containers a poke. “i hadn't heard the hospital cut you loose yet, Paps.

“Just yesterday!” Papyrus beamed and now Stretch could see he had a cane of his own, exactly the same as Edge’s but he was currently using it more as punctuation than for support.

Released yesterday and Stretch hadn’t even known. He could have, should have. He’d just seen Sans a couple days go and he’d asked about Red, but not his brother who was still in the fucking hospital. And what, he could send tweets out to his fans but not a text to Papyrus to see how he was feeling? Stretch swallowed hard against the rising thickness in the back of his throat. “listen, i'm sorry i didn't get up to see you at the hospital much.”

Papyrus being Papyrus, only waved that off. “Not at all! Everyone is very busy right now.”

“Yeah,” Jeff put in and there was a wealth of meaning in that single word that probably synced up to the shadows under his eyes. “I barely got up there to see you and Edge, too.”

“Besides,” Papyrus went on, “You had your own patient to handle in what I am sure was an experience that left you stronger!”

“heh, that’s one way of putting it. how’s the noggin?” The bandages that were wrapped around Papyrus’s head in the hospital were gone and all the bruising faded. The dark line of a hairline crack was still running along his parietal bone. At this point it was probably here to stay, healing magic wasn’t much good on scars, otherwise Stretch would have gotten to work on Edge’s a long time ago.

Papyrus mimed rapping on his skull with his knuckles. “Better. I am still on sick leave even though I am injured, not sick. But I am not falling down as much now so they let me go home!”

The phrase falling down had implications that made Stretch shudder, even though he knew that wasn’t what Papyrus meant. Especially after today, seeing Edge’s healing leg, all his new scars, hairline fractures, all of them, but they were still there.

Okay, yeah, a subject change seemed to be a good idea.

Stretch picked up one of the containers and gave it a little shake. “so what brings you over to see me. not that i don’t want to see you guys, but…” He gestured at the rest of the containers. “i’m seeing a plan here.”

“Yes!” Papyrus said happily. “I brought something for your chickens!"

Huh. Today was definitely going off the charts, because that option wasn’t on any of Stretch’s top ten lists. “seriously?"

Papyrus obviously had his own standards when it came to lists, because he nodded as if it were obvious. “Yes! You see, usually when you are sick or injured in the hospital because of germs or stupidity—"

“hey!”

“--i have cared for your chickens for you! this time i was in the hospital and so i brought them spaghetti!”

Impeccable logic, really. Except for one small detail.

Paps was a much better cook these days but pasta still tended to elude him. Even the mention of spaghetti still gave Stretch shuddering flashbacks of those first few weeks when they came to this universe. It’d almost been enough for him to wish they were back in Underswap.

Almost.

All the other dishes Papyrus made were more than palatable, even delicious, except for when he dug out the noodles. Much as he didn’t want to hurt any feelings, neither did Stretch want to murder his chickens by poison pasta. “um that's really nice, but, uh.”

Whatever Papyrus thought he was going to say, if there were any hurt feelings about it, he shed it like water off a duck’s back, “Have no fear! It is vegetable spaghetti!"

“Spiral cut veggies, “Jeff put in. He pried off one of the lids and held it out, revealing bright orange and purple strands. His grin was a little wry; Jeff was another victim of Papyrus’s attempts at carbonara. “We made it fresh this morning.”

Oh. They’d made it, together. For the teeniest, tiniest moment there was a twinge of stupid jealousy, bitter sharp in his soul, because Jeff was supposed to be his best friend and here was Papyrus poaching on his territory when he already had lots of friends, in a couple different countries even, pen pals and people at the Embassy, why did he need one of Stretch’s?

Then he squashed that thought like the stink bug it was; there was plenty of Andy to go around and he wasn’t about to end his week by being a dick to his best friends over veggie noodles.

So hey, time to unwrap the enthusiasm and get this chicken party started. Stretch pasted his smile back on and said, “well hey, let’s go out back! i bet they’ll be scrambling for it.”

Papyrus didn’t even groan at the pun, though Jeff booed under his breath. His smile brought new meaning to the word beaming, it really did, bright as the sun. “Let me get some plates!”

He caned his way into the kitchen before Stretch could even offer to do it for him and yeah, there was one of the ways he and Edge were alike, stubborn little shits that they were.

Stretch shook his head and turned back to Jeff to ask, softly, “how is he doing, really?”

“He’s been fine today, but he should probably sit down for a while,” Jeff said in the same quiet tone. “I had him sitting at home when we were using the spiral slicer and he was pretty good about it. Don’t let him fool you, though, the doctors told him to take it easy—”

“—and he’s not really good at following their instructions,” Stretch finished with a sigh. “yeah, i’ve had some practice with that.”

“I’ll bet,” Jeff laughed just as Papyrus returned, plates in hand. Stretch kept back any comments about what Edge might have to say about them using his plates to feed chickens. Hey, they were family, they could use the good tableware.

“I’ll bet, too,” Papyrus said, “if you two are finished talking about me behind my back! Unless you want to do it in front of my face as well.”

Yeah, there were definitely times Stretch could tell Papyrus and Edge were cut from the same cloth. Although if he ever saw Edge smiling like Papyrus did, Stretch would be checking for any other signs of the apocalypse. “nah, i think we’re good. let’s head out.”

“Oh, and we brought you—” Jeff plucked one of the plastic cups from the table and held it out with a flourish. “triple venti, iced caramel macchiato with whip and an extra shot.”

Now that was a drink and Stretch took the cup, clutching it to his chest without even caring for the condensation dampening the front of his sweatshirt.

“you are the second-best person in the world,” Stretch told him sincerely, “if i wasn’t already married to the first best, i’d be polishing up my flirting skills for you.”

Jeff only rolled his eyes, “Yeah, okay, I’ll add you to my dance card, Mr. Darcy.”

“The dating manual has a chapter on polygamous relationships if you’d like to borrow it!” Papyrus said brightly.

Immediately, Jeff’s pale cheeks flamed a bright red and Stretch felt a blush of his own warm his face. Uh, yeah, no, his love for Andy stayed above the waist, thanks. Now he was glad Edge hadn’t come inside, he’d either be annoyed or silently laughing his ass off. Either way, Stretch could live without it.

He clapped a hand on Papyrus’s shoulder, “you know what, paps, i think we’re good, but i’ll keep it in mind. c’mon, it’s a nice day and the ladies await!”

“Of course!” Papyrus followed Stretch to the back door while Jeff gathered up the containers. “Did Edge redecorate the kitchen? I seem to recall a lot less red paint splattered on the walls and also a table the last time I was here…”

~~*~~

A few days ago, Stretch spent a couple hours cleaning off all the chairs on the patio from any winter gunk left on them. He’d done it for Edge so he could come outside while he was still off limits on any marathons, just a quick scrub down and some sunshine and they were good.

Now he wondered why he bothered because so far, every time anyone came out to the backyard, they ended up sitting on the damned ground. At least they grabbed the cushions off the chairs to keep the damp away. The chickens were gabbling eagerly from the moment the sliding glass door opened and the volume doubled when they realized it was more than the usual amount of suckers to demand scritches from.

Stretch let loose the chicks and Papyrus laid down the plates, already scolding, “Now hold on a moment, there’s more than one flavor! You’ll need a serving of each for the full decadent experience!”

Soon enough the grub was out and they were all sitting on their cushions, watching the chickens feast.

“gotta say, this was a pretty good idea,” Stretch admitted. Pretty good was understating it, the chickens loved the veggie spaghetti and they were gobbling it down, switching plates at will as they scarfed it as fast as they could. Noodle let out an indignant squawk when Nugget stole a tasty looking tidbit from under her beak and ended up on the other end of a strand with Dumpling in an impromptu Lady and the Tramp recreation that ended a lot less romantically when Nugget stole a bite right through the center.

“Of course it was!” Papyrus said loftily. Then he surprised Stretch by adding, “JeffAndy suggested it.”

Stretch raised a brow bone and Jeff shrugged, awkwardly, “Julia used to make veggie spaghetti all the time and Blue had a spiral cutter, so.”

“i haven’t seen blue for a few days.” Stretch fumbled into his hoodie pocket for his lighter, the metal smooth and cool under his fingertips. “how’s he doing?”

“Good. Busy, like all of us,” Jeff said. He took a drink from his cup and it left a slight whipped cream mustache on his upper lip that he licked away. “Think everyone will be glad when Edge is back full time.”

“yeah.” The lighter flicking through his fingers wasn’t enough suddenly and Stretch pulled out a pack of cigarettes to go with it at the same time he nudged Papyrus with an elbow. “and how’s your bro doing?”

“Very well!” Papyrus plucked up a far-flung piece of spaghetti and tossed it back towards the chickens. Dumpling all but snapped it out of the air. “He’s packing as we speak!”

“packing?” That was about the last thing Stretch expected to ever hear about Sans. He and Papyrus were the only brother pair still living together and Stretch would have put good odds on the that only changing if Papyrus moved out, and even then, Sans might try to crawl into one of the suitcases. Sans packing up was serious levels of gossip that he was missing out on.

Papyrus nodded. “Yes! Now that he and Red are betrothed, he is moving in! He didn’t want to leave at first, but I told him I would have someone stay with me until I am fully recovered!”

Betrothed was a weird way to describe that relationship and Sans actually moving in? Made Stretch wonder what’d happened that day when Sans carried Red out of the kitchen, not that he’d wanted to be a fly on the wall or anything. Maybe Red liked to play the spy guy, but Stretch had enough nightmares as it was. If he ever had to hear Red in throes of orgasm, he’d scrub the inside of his skull with a toilet brush.

“not undyne.” He couldn’t imagine her staying away from Alphys, especially not while she had a bun cooking in the oven.

“No, no, your brother!”

Stretch was in the middle of lighting his cigarette and sucked in too hard, coughing the smoke back out. His brother was staying with Papyrus? When did that happen? He was starting to feel more and more like Dorothy when she first stepped off the tornado.

“okay, hang on,” Stretch rubbed a knuckle between his sockets where an ache was starting to form. “can i get a timeline on this?”

“Of course!” Papyrus ticked off on his fingers. “First, Red gave Sans a betrothal collar.”

That choker he’d been wearing, with the heart-shaped buckle. Not at all the sort of thing he’d expected to be Sans’s taste, it’d been cute when Sans was more, ‘wear whatever fell on me today’. “is that what that was?”

“Oh, yes, Red told me that collars hold great significance in Underfell!”

“did he now?” Stretch said softly. Nope, that didn’t sting, not one little bit. His soul wasn’t at all lurching in his chest, rising up to settle painfully under his clavicles.

“Very much so! A betrothal collar is a promise and a warning.” Papyrus leaned in, his voice lowered conspiratorially to a level just below a shout. “More people probably need warnings about Sans.”

“you’re probably right.” Honestly, he should probably be wearing a sign.

“So he got his collar and told me. Then I told him he needed to move in with his fiancée and he said, ‘whoa, bro, don’t know about that you’re still pretty banged up and all.’”

Stretch couldn’t help grinning. He had to admit, that impression of Sans was pretty bang on.

“and I told him I would find someone else to stay with me and I asked your brother and he agreed!” Papyrus finished triumphantly.

He glanced at Jeff, who’d moved his cushion to be downwind of the cigarette smoke. “what about andy, thought you and blue were playing roommates.”

“I’m moving in with Antwan,” Jeff admitted shyly. He toyed with the laces on his shoes. “I mean, for now anyway.”

Normally, Stretch would have been squealing to hear that because hello, about fucking time. But from the sounds of it, if he wasn’t the last to know about all this, he was pretty damn close. “this all happened in the past couple days?”

Papyrus glanced at him. “If we are measuring by linear time, then yes.”

“always did prefer linear. helps to keep things straight. hey, congrats, andy,” Stretch said belatedly. Really belated, seemed like if this news was days old.

“Don’t congratulate me yet, Antwan hasn’t had to move my comic book collection,” Jeff laughed. But from his pink, pleased face he was pretty excited and why shouldn’t he be, he was moving in with his guy, Blue was moving in with Papyrus, Sans moving in with Red. All kinds of stuff going on that no one gave Stretch a call or text about it. Not that he blamed them, not really. He wasn’t being much of a good big brother lately or cousin or friend or whatever else the fuck he pretended he could do. Made him wonder how he was doing as a husband, since he was so shit at everything else.

The chickens were done mangling every speck of the spaghetti and Nugget wandered over to peck at the string on Stretch’s hoodie hopefully. It hadn’t turned into food for her the other hundred times she’d tried it, but that never stopped her before, especially since now it looked like her last treat. Stretch crushed out his cigarette and gave her a hopeful nudge, and she settled into his lap amicably, clucking happily as he smoothed a hand down her feathers.

Noodle was taking refuge in Papyrus’s lap, crooning for her own pets that Papyrus obediently provided. “Your chickens are very nice.”

“We’re lucky Edge isn’t here,” Jeff chuckled even as he coaxed Dumpling over for scritches of her own. “They think he’s the next coming of Chicken Jesus.”

Papyrus frowned. “I wouldn’t think that chickens followed Christian theology.”

It was always hard to tell when Papyrus was sincere or when he was fucking with you, and Stretch had a feeling he was being bent over today. “nah, these ladies are nondenominational.”

“If one must have a harem, one of chickens seems a good choice!” Papyrus said thoughtfully. “There are the eggs to consider.”

“a harem, why would---never mind.” Stretch decided he really didn’t want to know which way Papyrus’s brain was twisting today, he had enough of that with his own.

“By the way,” Jeff said as he struggled to keep Dumpling from attacking his shoelaces, “now that Edge is feeling better, I should probably tell you that your brother’s freezer is filled with bags of grapes.”

“grap..oh.” The grapes from Edge’s garden that he’d been picking when…well. When everything. He’d honestly forgotten all about them, that whole day was pretty much a suckhole of shit that he didn’t care to ever repeat. Even thinking that made Stretch feel a little queasy, knocking him even more off balance while he was trying to catch his equilibrium. Stretch let out a little laugh and if it sounded a little shrill, neither Jeff nor Papyrus noticed. “you froze them, really? when did you even have the time?”

Jeff shrugged, which meant it was probably after work, maybe even at the end of that long, horrible day, and he’d been exhausted and done it anyway. He really was a good friend, better than Stretch deserved.

“i’ll let him know.” Stretch rubbed Nugget gently under the chin and she cooed happily. “and hey, thanks for stopping by with the spaghetti for my girls and letting me knows what’s up with the nearby world.”

“Wish I could say it was my idea,” Jeff said. His smile was a little lopsided. “I’ve missed hanging out. With everything that’s going on, Papyrus thought maybe you were feeling a little out of the loop. He said not being at work makes him think it’s Sunday when it’s Wednesday.”

“yeah, he’s got a good point.”

“I usually do,” Papyrus said modestly.

The sliding glass door opened then, and Edge stepped out. Immediately the chickens abandoned all laps and ran to him, and usually Stretch thought that was cute as fuck, but today, it was an extra scoop of abandonment on top of his cone of salty guilt.

Edge crouched and gave each of them a quick pat, “Hello, everyone. I only wanted to check if you two are staying for dinner.”

“No,” Papyrus said, somehow managing to look sad and elated at the same time. “Blue is planning a welcome to my home dinner for me tonight!”

“I can’t either, Antwan and I haven’t done anything but sleep in the same bed for the past week. We’re planning take out and time together.” Jeff scrambled to his feet with a groan, stretching, “We need to get going, anyway.”

Edge nodded, like none of this was news to him. Maybe it wasn’t, Stretch really was the last to know everything. Even about betrothal collars and Stretch twisted the ring on his finger, feeling the delicate swirls etched into it with the tips of his fingers. The metal wasn’t cool like his lighter, warmed by his own bones.

It only took a couple of minutes for Jeff and Papyrus to gather up the empty containers, and Stretch got the plates, setting them next to him on the ground.

“see you guys later!” Stretch called as they went through the gate. He got waves in return and then they were gone.

Edge sat down on the cushion next to him, stretching out his leg brace in front of him as he nudged it closer than Papyrus had. Close enough for him to settle his own hand over Stretch’s and he couldn’t help wondering if that was to keep him from reaching for his cigarettes again. He was supposed to be quitting and that’d fallen to the wayside at some point, supposed to be seeing Alphys about his HP, when was the last time he’d done that? So many fucking questions today and Stretch wasn’t sure about some of the answers.

“Just you and me tonight then, love,” Edge said. His thumb grazed lightly across Stretch’s knuckles and he noted absently that he’d changed his gloves. These ones were worn soft, comfort gloves, like some of Stretch’s sweatshirts, and he didn’t know why Edge needed comforting.

“yeah, just you and me,” Stretch agreed softly, and when had that become less of a delight.

He really was losing his touch because Edge gave him a narrow look almost immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“nothing,” Stretch said, and he forced lightness into the word, “think i’m just a little tired, we had a lot going on today.”

Edge hummed softly in agreement, “Why don’t you take a nap?”

“take one with me?” Stretch offered and he knew from the split-second of hesitation on Edge’s face that he wanted to say no. Which, of course he fucking did, he just got his cast off, he was probably wanting a shower or maybe even a bath, give those newly scarred bones a good scrub before he went to do all the other shit he couldn’t do last week. “you know what, never mind.”

“Are you sure?” Edge asked, because of course he did. He always put Stretch’s happiness first. Like it was something Stretch actually deserved and that was a shitty thing to think and Stretch knew it, so he was stopping that right now.

“yep,” Stretch forced a yawn. “if it’s just me i can sprawl out.”

“Me being in the bed has never stopped you before,” Edge said dryly. But he lifted Stretch’s hand and kissed his knuckles, right over his wedding ring, the one Edge gave him when he promised to love and cherish him, and Stretch was gonna knock it the fuck off thinking about anything with collars or Underfell. Edge loved him and he knew it, he didn’t need anything else.

Not a damn thing.

~~*~~

Read Chapter Three

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #by any other name

[creativeskullcreations]

Outside chapter 12: Move Out!

Whoo, got this up in time! :D

And we're meeting Stacy's other two friends! I hope y'all like them, or at least grow to like them cause we'll be seeing them a lot more in the coming chapters. They're important to the story. ;D

The apartment was full of boxes of Stacy's stuff that Will had spent however long packing for her. To the young woman, who hadn't been home in weeks, it was an odd feeling seeing her home in boxes, with her shelves and closet empty. Currently she was helping to move said boxes into the U Haul outside. By which I mean she was holding the door for Will and Mason, who were the ones actually moving the boxes. While the boys were busy, Lisa was cleaning out the cupboards and fridge, which Will had forgotten about completely despite being there so often.

"Seriously, Will! You've been over here for how many days, and never thought to check the fridge for leftovers?" Lisa asked as she threw the food, Tupperware and all, into the trash. "What, were you just bringing food from home everyday?"

"Yes." Will answered seriously, not looking up from his work. The blonde woman stared dumbfounded before rolling her eyes.

"Unbelievable! Mason! You hearing this shit?" She called. Mason gave a thumbs up as he walked by, arms laden with shoe boxes. Stacy watched him closely, not wanting to lose her old games in case he dropped them. Not that she could do much to catch them with only one arm, but she could at least yell at him for it.

"It's not that big a deal, Lisa." She told her friend, after making sure Mason could navigate the stairs okay. "Really, most of the stuff in there had probably already gone bad anyways."

"That's not the point! It's still a waste!" The blonde insisted, dumping a bottle of juice with clouds of mold floating in it into the trash. Stacy winced, knowing she'd bought that back in December and then forgotten about it. It was still mostly full, too.

"Yeah..." She moved back to the couch, where she'd left her bag. Inside the bag was Scout with the Switch. It was a risk bringing her while they did this, but somehow Stacy felt it would be a bigger risk to leave her behind. So she'd brought her along, making her she had the Switch to stay entertained, even if she had to keep the sound off. And so far, nobody seemed to have noticed.

She opened the bag, peering inside. The Puppet was curled up in the bottom, the Switch off and sitting next to her. "Hey, you okay in there?" She asked quietly.

"I'm fine!" Scout hissed back. "Close the fucking bag!" Stacy did so, zipping it all the way shut and leaving it on the couch. She sat next to it, watching the others work to pack up her home, moving the boxes down to the U Haul in the street. She wanted to help, but the few times she attempted to she dropped stuff, and then Will finally made her stop.

Still, she felt restless, so much so that eventually she grabbed her bag and stood up. "Hey, I'm going for a walk! I'll be back later!" She called out. Mason, who was nearby, gave her a wave of acknowledgement.

"Don't get eaten by the gators." He told her. She waved back, but ignored him as she went down the stairs, pausing just at the door to open it back up and grab Scout out of it.

"Hey!" She protested, but Stacy ignored her, holding her in the crook of her right arm as she swung her bag back on. It was difficult to do one handed, and she did need to try and maneuver around Scout, but she managed to get it back on

"We're going for a walk. You need some air." She told the Puppet as she did this. Said Puppet still struggled to try and break free, pounding fabric fists against her arm.

"No I fucking don't! I need to go back in the bag!" She fought against her Host, but was ignored as Stacy continued out of the lobby and walked down the sidewalk outside.   Eventually she gave up, realizing that her fighting would only attract the attention of strangers. Instead she huddled back against Stacy's body at the largeness of the world around her, that she only now viewed completely unobscured. She stared with wide eyes as the human hurried her way down the street, crossing it periodically, until she came to a place empty of buildings.

Greenery covered the area, a shade the Puppet had never seen before in fact. There was a large body of water in the middle, and some odd, colorful object in one "corner" of the area. Tiny Hosts, children, were playing on the objects, but Stacy went right by them. Instead she headed down the path to a more secluded and wooded area. She sat cross-legged by a tree, finally letting Scout go. The Puppet flopped over in her lap.

"Why are we even out here?" She griped, staring at the grass. There was a weird red bug not far away, that she hoped wouldn't come close to them. If it even tried she would smack it.

"Because you need fresh air. You can't just hide in the bag all day, no matter what Will says." Stacy told her. "Besides, I don't like watching them do all that for me, knowing I can't help them." She very much did NOT look at her stump, absolutely not. Instead she stared through the trees at the still somewhat visible lake. There were ducks on it, and she could see a couple of people feeding them.

She wondered if Scout would like feeding them.

Rather than getting up, though, she stayed seated, letting Scout look around instead. She'd been meaning to bring the Puppet out here, but hadn't had a chance before the hospitalization. And then there was the remainder of the healing, taken place at Will house - now her and Will's house - during which he'd barely let her out of sight. It was only after an intense, whispered argument that he'd even begun to let up and allow her to do stuff for herself again, though he'd still hovered.

And now they were finishing packing up her apartment, ready to make the move complete. It was a shame, in her mind. She really did love her independence. But, it was better for everyone involved if this move happened. Especially Scout. If her and Will staggered their schedules, someone could be with her at all times.

(Stacy didn't know yet why that was so important, though. She just knew she didn't want Scout alone.)

But now, at least, she could take Scout out to enjoy some nature. And even now she had crawled down to the ground to pick at the grass, and Stacy winced when she thought of the grass stains that would form. But, she didn't stop her, letting her explore around a little, and look at things. Scout even picked up a stick, though she only used it to swat a ladybug.

Soon the Puppet climbed back into her lap, looking mildly disgusted and agitated. "I hate it here. It smells fucking weird, and I want to go back to your house."

Stacy snorted, but complied, getting up with only a little difficulty. Scout climbed up to her shoulder, stick still in hand. "Fine, we'll go back. It's almost lunch time anyways. Also what you're smelling is the trees and grass."

"The trees and grass fucking stink." Scout grumbled, and Stacy did laugh quietly at that, and got smacked lightly with the stick for it.

"Well, you're not wrong." She admitted, grabbing the stick away from the Puppet and dropping it on the ground. "It can be kinda an acquired taste, so to speak."

"Ew." Scout muttered, covering her nose as they started back the way they'd come. She glared suspiciously at the plants as they passed, as though she was worried they'd spray their stench right at her.

Stacy wondered what she'd think about skunks when she found out about them.

They made their way back to Stacy's apartment in silence, though it was a more comfortable silence than before. As Stacy made her way back upstairs to her apartment, Scout took the chance to hide in the bag. Stacy may believe her friends were good, but that didn't mean Scout did. Not that it mattered much, anyways.

Soon after Stacy got back, the group decided to go for lunch, which really just meant that Mason went to get McDonald's. Stacy asked for a Happy Meal, then slipped the opened toy into her bag for Scout when no one was looking. She didn't know if the Puppet would even want the little Barbie, but it certainly didn't hurt to offer it up.

They all ate quickly, talking and laughing as they did. Lisa ribbed Will on when he would propose, now that they were living together. "You only have so long before her other hand goes." She pointed out jokingly. "Then where will you put the ring?"

Will just shrugged, and Stacy pelted her with chicken nuggets. Mason laughed.

"The neck, obviously. She'd need a nice collar to help keep her out of trouble." He explained. "I could even make you a fancy chain for night time if you need it."

"Wow!" Stacy gave an over exaggerated gasped, though she wasn't really offended. Far too often had she sneaked out at night to go explore some place or another. "And right after I threw my nuggets at Lisa, too!"

"Don't fault me on my timing!" Will smacked a ketchup packet on the back of his head, making a horrid squelching sound. "Ew! Will!" The man's voice jumped up several octaves, but Will just kept on chewing his burger.

"Oof. That's gonna need a shower. You're showering when we get home Mason." Lisa said as he tried to clean his hair with some napkins.

Eventually, though, they managed to finish eating and get back to packing. And after that it wasn't long before all of the boxes loaded up into the U Haul. As they filtered out, Mason, Will, and Lisa carrying the last few boxes, Stacy paused to take one last look.

The living room looked just like it had before she moved in. Kind of sad, really, even with the memories it brought back. She could almost see herself and her family helping her move in four years ago, and remembered the excitement she'd felt back then. Or when she'd bring Will over, before he'd moved out here himself, and how much fun they'd have.

She didn't want to leave. Will had to come back up and lead her out, then drop the keys off at the office with her.

Stacy got into the U Haul with Mason and they made their way to Will's house. They would unload it tomorrow, with another fast-food lunch somewhere in there. Until then they were all due for a good night's sleep and some real food for supper.

After Mason and Lisa left and Will started on dinner, Stacy opened up her bag to finally let Scout out. "Finally!" The Puppet gasped out dramatically, flopping out onto the couch. "I though I was going to fucking die!"

"Oh please, you were fine." Stacy snorted. "And don't worry, tomorrow we'll be working here and you can stay in the bedroom. I'll make sure Lisa and Mason stay out of there."

"Uuuuugh!" She groaned, rolling onto her back. "How much longer do I have to deal with them?!" She yelled at, and Stacy almost did laugh at that.

"You aren't dealing with anything but being in the bedroom." She told the Puppet, standing up to go set the table. "Do you wanna eat supper with us tonight?" She asked, more than a little hopeful.

"Nah, you guys go on ahead." She said, already making her way across the couch to the remote. "I found this cool show I wanna watch instead."

"Oh. Did you want me to bring you some food, then?" Stacy hoped she would say yes. She didn't know for sure if Scout needed to eat, but didn't want her to go hungry either way.

"Nope." The Puppet said, in a tone that signaled the end of any discussion on it. Stacy didn't push, and instead went into the kitchen herself. She leaned on the counter on her good hand and sighed heavily.

"You can't make her eat or join us if she doesn't want to." Will told her, deadpan. Stacy pouted.

"I know. But!" She shot up. "What if she needs to eat? What if she starves herself because of something I did? Or because she hates it here?" Will stopped stirring the meat in the pan, fixing his girlfriend with a hard stare.

"Stop freaking out." He told her, then blinked as he realized something. "Wait... Did you take your meds today?" He asked.

"No they need to be refilled. But I'm fine without them, these are real concerns, Will!" She insisted, and he just sighed, turning back to the pan.

"Yeah... we're getting those refilled as soon as possible." He muttered, though not quietly enough.

'Will!" Stacy smacked the counter, but was ignored.

#hello puppet #fanfiction #outside #Scout #Stacy Stein #Will Carson #Mason Kamiya #Lisa Montgomery

[simptasia]

character number ask game thingy!!!!!! let's do jack and or ana lucia and the numbers areeee 2, 4, 7, 11 (doesn't have to be a specific song just like. music genre or smth idk) , 15, 16, 24, 25. as always you dont have to do all or both charas just what you want :) OH bonus since we're both reblogging supernatural maybe a cheeky cas + 10, 15, 16

ooh wasn’t expecting jack and ana lucia (me making lost headcanons not involving the sci trio requires using at least 4 extra braincells, as you know)

thanks lisa!

[cracks knuckles]

jack

fave colour: blue

fave movie: the breakfast club (it was the first thing that popped into my head and i was like “...yeah, that feels right”)

fave pizza toppings: pepperoni and cheese

song they dance their ass off to: jack does not dance, he shuffles happily or awkwardly. you said i can do genre, so, like technically you can dance to anything but jack doesn’t dance to rock. he bops his head. jack “dances” to billy joel, some beatles songs, and whatever pop/punk/country music kate has put on

my first impression of this character: i can’t remember specific feelings about jack right away, i was sort of just cautiously judging the show (i didnt know it’d be good). i remember in his first proper scene, being taken back by his voice because it’s higher than i expected. i do remember early in the watch i didn’t like him though. i think that applies to most lost fans. i bounced back and forth between “okay i do feel bad for you” and finding him insufferable. i found his first centric episode REALLY engaging. this sounds all over the place but thats jack for ya

my thoughts on this character now: well it was a slow burn but over time i grew to like jack and then love him. i acknowledge he isn’t easy to love, but he got me. fucker got me. so love/hate? like i love him but when he’s bad it’s painful (and it’s worse because i know he’s a good boy!). even when i didn’t like him i always found him endearing and sympathetic. and my headcanon that he’s autistic really helped him make sense to me

are they a good cook or bad cook: technically he’s an alright cook, he just won’t ever flavour the chicken. nice omelettes and pancakes tho (in case you shouldn’t tell, i see jack as having the most generic taste in food and drink ever. it amuses me and hey its in character)

signature dinner dish: beef, macaroni and cheese. beefaroni!

ana lucia

fave colour: black

fave movie: i’ve decided ana loves action movies but the problem is i don’t, so i have no idea how to discern what would be a good pick for her. think stuff with shoot outs and car chases and explosions from the 80s and 90s... (MY fave action movie is con air, but i can’t just pick that, i dunno the genre well enough to know if she’d like that one)

fave pizza toppings: ham and cheese most of the time, sometimes a full on meat lovers with chili if she’s in the mood for it

song they dance their ass off to: i think its fair to assume this girl loves rock, yeah? guns & roses and bon jovi come to mind. i can see her screaming along to “living on a prayer”. beyond that, i’m afraid i find myself lacking in broader rock genre knowledge (like, how the kinda music an american puerto rican lady grew up with is probably different to the music i, a white australian, am familiar with or associate with Rock). i stand by living with a prayer tho because thats a good song to lose your fucking mind to in my opinion

my first impression of this character: its hard to recall. i’m not remembering any strong feelings one way or another, besides recognising michelle rodriguez from other things. i think i was neutral at first. i am happy to say i never went thru a “i hate ana lucia” phrase. oh its coming back to me, i was neutral but then i very quickly grew to like her. her tempestuous but secretly soft demeanour + her butch energy = <3

my thoughts on this character now: i fucking love ana lucia so much. it’s a shame she wasn’t around much, and i’ve started to notice that even in the one season she was in, she’d disappear for long stretches of time, which is a poor use of a new character [grumbles] i love her. i love her. she’s a bitch but she’s my bitch! (...more likely, i’d be hers...). last time i watched season 5, i knew ana’s ghost was gonna show up and i bit my knuckle to stop myself squealing ahead of time. i think i’d put her in my top five lost ladies. like the writing wasn’t perfect, i feel like they wasted her, but i still think she’s a great character anyways

are they a good cook or bad cook: she is, her mom made sure of that, but she doesn’t cook often, sticking to take out most of the time

signature dinner dish: i had trouble thinking of what she’d cook. so heres a little scenario instead: let’s say ana’s got a girl over for a date and she’s thinking “i like this chick, so im gonna actually make something for her” and at first she plans to make some sort of well prepared chicken-based meal and then she looks in her fridge and is like “ah...” so long story short she ends up making spaghetti bolognese (but she wants to try harder so she actually makes the sauce instead of using store bought)

castiel

do they like roller coasters: i thought about it and i’ve decided i like the idea of him not being as affected by roller coasters as humans so he’s like “huh. i don’t see how that’s supposed to be fun”. to which dean calls him a “friggin’ robot”

my first impression of his character: two things, “holy shit his voice??” (nobody prepared me) and “i ship him with dean”. literally the second he spoke to dean i shipped it. such a wham. yeah, as far as i recall, i’ve loved cas since the start. it’s an inherently interesting concept, and misha’s performance and oh my gosh the autistic energy off this bitch

my thoughts on this character now: cas is my favourite supernatural character and i love him so much. it’s hard to put into words, he’s just a really good character. eps focusing on him (or at least a b-plot are always are delight). now, i stopped watching half way thru season 8 and i’ve only seen chunks of season 9. but from what i gather cas has remained my lovely autistic-coded boy. tho i have noticed from the brief bits i’ve seen of later eps, he does emote a looot more. it’s a tad jarring but i’d adapt if i was like, actually watching the show. anyways cas good. love him. oh and the fact that he’s canonically queer brings me joy

#lost headcanons #i don't have a tag for spn headcanons... #nah if i started one i'd like whatever post started it to be JUST about spn #agardenintheshire

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 25

~*~Emma~*~

 Breakfast was the "Eggcelent" diner for omelets. We talked about dinner, with me checking out what he liked and didn’t like. He assured me, "I'll eat pretty much anything you put in front of me. Except for fennel." He shuddered, "It comes from the devil's asshole. Fennel and anything licorice."

 We ran to the grocery to get supplies then back to my place. We changed things up a little based on what produce looked good. Sebastian grabbed some shortcake cups and we loaded up on berries and some whipping cream. Back at my house, Sebastian unloaded the groceries on the counter and I put away, leaving out the chicken to marinade and the potatoes to boil.

 "Give me a job." He seemed uncomfortable not doing something.

 I pointed to the pots hanging overhead, "Fill one of those with enough water to cover the potatoes and get them boiling. Another for the eggs. It won't take me more than a few minutes to get the chicken done."

 We were finished with our tasks at the same time and headed toward the couch. I pulled back, "I'll be right back."

 "I'll look up train times."

 I came back down to see Sebastian standing behind the couch, his butt on the back with his ankles crossed, looking at his phone. Jeans did good things for his legs. I wanted to stop and stare, but he looked over. It was strange having him here. Not strange in a bad way. The level I felt like I knew him didn’t match the time with which I knew him. Some quick math told me that was because on average our dates lasted fourteen hours if you counted today as four dates and just counted the hours up until now.

 "You changed." He checked me out with a smile.

 "I was in yesterday's clothes." I went into the kitchen to turn down the heat on the stove and set a timer. The chances of me getting distracted and burning something was high. "What did you find out?"

 I was anxious about when he was leaving. I was anxious about when I'd see him again. I wanted him to leave as late as possible or super early in the morning where we could both get to work on time.

 Sebastian came up beside me by the stove, "You looked fetching in your walk of shame clothes."

 "I feel fresher."

 Sebastian raised his nose and looked for the smell. He squatted beside me and ran his hand up my calf. "You shaved your legs." His tone of voice was sweet and endearing. "You didn’t have to for me."

 "Yes, I did." I turned to face him, "I want to look pretty for you. Today part of that meant shaving my legs." We hugged, "Just in case a situation arose when you might be touching them again."

 He took my hand, leading me to the couch. He sat me in his lap where my back was supported by the arm of the chair. He put a hand behind my neck and the other stroked my legs. "So soft."

 "Thanks, glad you like."

 He hummed appreciatively. "I like touching your legs very much. See.." He shifted his focus from my legs to my eyes, "You looked pretty in gym clothes at the groceries, in jeans and a peach and white shirt at dinner, jeans and top for the festival, and ratty shorts and well-used t-shirt yesterday. What you wear doesn’t matter, you're always pretty to me. More than pretty."

 The way he used my word, pretty, and remembered everything I’d worn made my stomach flutter. I kissed his cheek, "I’m still going to do things to try to turn you on."

 "Don't waste your efforts. I'm very easy. For you, anyway." He leaned in and kissed me, his hand moving up my thigh to rest on my ass. “Train schedules?”

 I nodded.

 “Latest tonight is ten.”

 “Ten?” Oh, no, that wasn’t going to work at all. I mean, having to be at work in the morning dealing with a room full of six and seven-year-olds means I can’t really be up all night, but ten is early. I think I pouted.

 Sebastian’s face cracked into a slow grin, the hand on my ass pulled me closer and we kissed again. “Latest I can leave in the morning is seven. What time do you have to be at work?”

 “Seven-thirty. Fifteen-minute drive.” I bit the side of my lip, “Wanna have a sleepover?”

 “Very much.”

 “What shall we do with ourselves?”

 “I think I promised we’d make up for the lack of kissing.”

 “Good thing I set the kitchen timer.”

 We made out until the timer went off, at which point I dumped the potatoes and eggs in the sink, reset the timer, and went back to his lap. Needless to say, I was enjoying the hell out of the make-out session. Things stayed relatively calm. Everything stayed above the waist. Hands roamed, mouths kissed, and things would amp up every now and again, but mostly it was this lovely leisurely kissing and touching. I highly recommend.

 The timer rang and I pulled away with a groan, “Want to help?”

 “Kinda.”

 I laughed and headed to the kitchen, “Why don’t you put on some music? Just plug your phone into the dock and it will do the rest.” I’d pulled what I needed out of the fridge by the time he joined me. I put him to work cutting up the potatoes while I cut up onion, pickles, and the hard-boiled eggs.

  “Who knows what we’re going to get.”

 I assumed that meant he’d just hit shuffle, “That’s the most fun.”

 Sebastian finished the potatoes and stood beside me watching. “Who taught you to cook?”

 “Mostly my grandparents. My papa taught me biscuits, gravy, and all sorts of fried things. My nana did more healthy things. They used to have a barbeque place. Nothing fancy, just a big smoker and some picnic tables.” My mouth was watering at the memory or maybe that was about the man next to me. Either way, I closed my eyes and moaned happily, “Best coleslaw ever. I can’t recreate it. I think it’s about ingredients changing. Papa would die if he could see how little cans of Crisco are now.”

 Sebastian laughed, “Does anyone even use that anymore?”

 “If you want good biscuits you do.” I threw about three quarters of the onions, pickles, and eggs in the potatoes with a healthy amount of mayonnaise, salt, and pepper. I tasted and added until I was satisfied. Only then did I load up a spoon and hold it out to him, “It’ll be better once it’s chilled a few hours.”

 “Wondered why we were making this so early.”

 He opened his mouth and let me feed him. The flutter in my stomach was back. This was my go-to for school potlucks and I always got requests for my recipe, so I knew it was good, but different people like different things. I watched his eyes go wide and he covered his mouth with his hand, “This is delicious.”

 I got a thrill from him liking something I’d made. Boy, did I have it bad. Emergency leg shaving and feeding him homemade food. What was next? I laughed to myself. This was my thing. I enjoyed taking care of people. Shaving my legs wasn’t really in that category. Cooking was. I hadn’t cooked for a man in a very long time. “Thank you. Does it need anything?”

 Shaking his head, Sebastian pointed to the bowl, “I’ll need to taste again.” I didn’t even consider giving him the spoon. Way too much fun to feed him. He chewed happily, “More pickle? I love pickle.”

 I scraped the rest of the chopped pickle into the bowl. I liked him giving me feedback. I pressed my lips to his briefly. “For telling me what you wanted different.”

 “How will you know if I don’t tell you?” A slow smirk formed, “Not just food.” A new song started and he took off for the family room, “Fucking love this song.”

 Before the lyrics started, he’d turned the volume way up. He quickly turned and pointed to me with one hand, arm outstretched and singing along. “You can dance.” He repeated the move with his other arm, “You can jive. Having the time of your life.” He flipped over his hand and motioned for me to join him. What followed was him singing and dancing with infectious joy. I was laughing while I ran across the room. When I got in reach, he took my hands, holding them out and swinging them in and out. He let go and twirled me around before taking my hands again. We sang along and danced like we knew how, both of us laughing because we didn’t.

 The next song was something much more appropriate for slam dancing in a mosh pit. Sebastian dropped to the floor with arms and legs spread, “I wanted a slow song.”

 I stood with feet on either side of his hips, looking down at him, “Playlist management.”

 “Wouldn’t matter. Shuffles and plays what it wants.”

 “There’s a button to turn off shuffle. It’ll play whatever order you put them in.”

 His lips were tight and he looked annoyed, “Didn’t know that. Give me a week, maybe two, and I’ll have the perfect playlist.”

 I knelt over his hips, putting my hands on his stomach, “I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”  The idea of slow dancing with him was very appealing.

 “Me either.” He ran his hands up my arms to my shoulders before pulling me over him, “Come down here.” As I lay down on him his hands smoothed down my back to my waist. “Much better.”

 I kissed him, pulling at his lower lip, “Your lips are so soft.”

 “I have good lip balm.”

 I ran my finger through his hair, “You make me laugh.”  I kissed him again, long and deep, “Let’s see what I can make you do.”

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #fanfiction

[sherrybaby14]

The Option I

A/N 1: This is a Dark!Bucky x Naive! Reader story.   While it will contain questionable consent it is not going to be as dark as some of my other stories.  That is not an invitation for those who are not comfortable with the topic to read, as much as it is an update for those who came to this looking for a very dark tale.  

Warnings: This chapter has none, but overall this story will be noncon/dubcon (Please Do NOT read if this offends you) 

Words: 4k

Summary:  While traveling through Europe you meet an unusual man under unusual circumstances. 

A/N 2:  This takes place in the same universe as “The Distraction”. You do not need to have read that to follow this at all though.  It is not canon-compliant but could be interpreted to take place after Winter Soldier and before Civil War.  

Did trains move this fast back home?  You looked out the window at the European countryside.  It was hard to take any of it in since the speed made everything a blur.

                You yawned and debated going back to your sleeping car, but your stomach gurgled and reminded you that you needed food. Besides, you’d been asleep for the last ten hours.  So far, this trip taught you that jet lag was a real thing.  

                From the moment you got off the plane in Paris, you were exhausted.  It took an hour to travel to the station, and three more until you boarded the train. You passed out as soon as you got to the teeny tiny private room your uncle had reserved for you.  

                The time change was messing with you almost as much as the travel itself, maybe more so.  To you, it felt like 10 am, but here the sun was setting and dusk was settling in.  You pulled out your phone and checked the time.  20:26. You did the math and realized it was already after 8 pm.  

                There was a text message from your uncle on the lockscreen.  

                Glad to hear you’re on the train.  My driver will pick you up in Istanbul in three days.  Safe travels.

                Visiting him was a good idea.  You needed family right now, and he was all you had left. The reminder made your heart hurt and you shut your eyes not wanting to relive the last month.  

                You wished he would have flown you directly into Turkey, but he told you that this was less expensive and would give you an opportunity to clear your head and enjoy traveling.  

                Another train breezed by and you jumped as the view of the countryside vanished.  

                “You mind if I sit here?”  A girl about your age slid into the booth across from you. “Sorry if I’m bothering you, but the dining car is starting to fill up.”  

                “You’re American?” You had heard a lot of languages being spoken, but this was the first English, it made you perk up.  

                “Born and raised in Colorado.  How about you?”  She gave a warm smile as she pushed her glasses up her nose.  

                You said your home town and glanced her up and down. She was pretty, with brown hair in a messy French braid, oversized glasses hiding doe-brown eyes, and no make-up to accentuate her natural beauty.  Beauty, it was almost like she was a model trying to dress down in her pale blue hoodie.

                “Never been.”  She held her hand out. “I’m Alice. What’s your name?”

                “Y/N.”  You reached out to shake. “I thought I wouldn’t find a soul to talk to until I got to my uncles.”  

                “Visiting a relative?  I’m studying abroad in Istanbul.  I wish I could have flown into Turkey, but the airfare was outrageous!” She rolled her eyes with over-accentuated movements.  

                “I’m going to Istanbul too.” You did an internal high-five that now you had a friend for the trip.  

                “Sweet, I have a buddy!” She reached out and squeezed your hand. “I’m starving.  Did you order yet?  What’s good?”

                “No, the server hasn’t come around.”  You grabbed a menu from the back of the table. “I’m not even sure what most of this is.  The English translation is off, one of the items is ‘pig in his own sauce’. “

               “Gross.” Alice scrunched up her nose and laughed. “This is your first time abroad huh?”

               “Believe it or not, this is my first time traveling in general.” You glanced around the train. “I was something of a homebody.”  

                “Well relax, enjoy your travel experience.” She nodded over her shoulder. “But if you want to eat on trains you have to go to the window and order.  Why don’t you wait here and I’ll bring us back something yummy?  I promise, no pig sauce.”

               “That would be great.” You reached into your purse and pulled out your wallet. “I have a few Euros.”  

                “Don’t worry.  This one is on me.” Alice slid up from the booth. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

                When she walked down the aisle you leaned back in the booth, a wave of relief washing over you.  If you hadn’t run into her, you probably would have sat in the dining car all night with no food.  

                You turned your attention back to your phone and replied to your uncle.  

                I’ll try. See you soon.  

                If it weren’t for him, you would have been completely alone in the world.  You were lucky he found you.  When he showed up at your parent’s funeral, surprise was an understatement.  The last time you saw him was when you were five or six. Then when he offered to move you to Turkey it blew your mind.  

                You weren’t ready to move away, but an extended vacation sounded nice while you figured things out.  The two of you agreed on a three-month trip. After that, it didn’t take much convincing to put your things in storage and get out of dodge.

                “Alright, the food will be up shortly.”  Alice slid back into the booth and set a glass filled with amber liquid in front of you.  “I believe we are getting a chicken dish with some French fries.  It may be potatoes though.”  

                Your eyes kept on the beer. You hated to be rude.

                “Cheers.” Alice picked up her glass and tilted it towards you.  

                “I don’t really drink.” You winced and pushed the glass away.  

                “Oh, my bad.”  She frowned. “It seems like everyone in Europe drinks.  Beer is cheaper than pop.  I can go get you something else.”

                She wasn’t lying, you figured that out when you were at the train station.  A coke cost three times what beer did.  Alice had treated for the meal.  

                “It’s not a big deal.”  You smiled. “I have drank, I just, it’s not a normal thing.”

                “No really.  I’ll drink yours.” Alice stood up. “Give me a minute.”

                “See?” You grabbed the beer and took a sip, not wanting her to waste money on you. “I’ll be fine.”

               Alice’s shoulders relaxed and she sat back down.

                “So you can drink?  I assumed, based off your age, you didn’t like it or had to quit or something.”  She picked up her beer and took a sip.  “Not that there’s any shame in that. I know a lot of people struggle with addictions.”

                “Like I said, just a homebody.” You smiled. “I always had friends, but small town, small options.   I lived with my parents until recently, they weren’t drinkers.”

                The smile dropped from your face.

                “What happened?” Alice set her beer down and took your hand.  

                “They died.” You glanced out the window. “A freak accident, nobody’s fault.”  

                “Oh my God, that’s terrible. You poor thing.” Alice squeezed harder. “I’m thinking you need more than one drink.”  

                “I couldn’t.” Her hand was on your wrist, raising the glass to your lips. “I’m pretty sure my parents would be disappointed over this one.  They were a little overprotective.”  

                You didn’t get the rest of the thought out before the glass was at your lips.  The beer was bitter, but not overpowering.  You were scared of the effects though.  

                “Let loose, have some fun. You need it more than most.” Alice took a drink of hers. “Besides, I’m practically a professional drinker.  I’ll make sure you’re safe.”  

               “Thank you for the offer.” Your stomach let out a grumble.  “But I’m more concerned with eating than drinking right now.”  

                “Foods not ready yet.” Alice looked over her shoulder. “But when it is I’m getting us another round.  And tonight is on me.  I’m treating.”

                “That’s not necessary.”  You reached for your wallet. “I’ll get the next drinks.”

               “See?  You need this.”  Alice cheered your glass again. “Drink up.  I’ll take good care of you.”  

               You glanced at the beer and back at your new friend.  It had been a long month and maybe drowning your sorrows wasn’t such a bad idea.  

                “Alright, fuck it.” You picked up the beer and took a huge sip.

                “Thata girl.”  Alice gave you a wink.  

                It could be time to relax.  After all, this was supposed to be a positive transition.

~~~

               Ice was in your veins. You hugged yourself as your teeth chattered, pulling your legs up to your chest and forming a ball. Your long-sleeved shirt and jeans weren’t providing you enough warmth.  You reached out to grab the blanket but felt nothing.  

               Once the coldness settled in a splitting headache came next.  You brought your hand to your forehead and groaned, slowly opening your eyes.  

                The sky was light grey, the sun blocked by heavy cloud coverage.  You looked down and saw the cement underneath you, as you pushed yourself up you craned your neck and realized you were on a small street, huddled against a brick building. Something of a small downtown area.

                “What?” You asked nobody.

                Where was the train?  What were you doing here?  Was this Istanbul?  You pushed yourself up from the sidewalk until you were on wobbly legs.  

                Istanbul was a sprawling metropolitan city.  This was more like a quaint village.  You brought your face to your hands, knowing you were having a delayed reaction.  

                Alice.  That was the last thing you remembered, drinking beer with her in the train car. How many had you had?  You struggled to think, but everything was coming up blank.  You couldn’t remember anything after the first one.  Did you even eat?  

                Your stomach churned and you turned towards the building, keeling over as you dry heaved, your mouth as dry as cotton. Once your stomach accepted there was nothing to throw up you felt a little better and stood back up.  

                Down the street, you spotted a person walking the opposite direction.  You moved as fast as you could toward them, hoping someone could give you a clue as to where you were at least.  Maybe help you call your uncle.

                Call.  Your phone. You felt down your pockets.  Empty.  Your purse was nowhere to be seen either.  Your passport, money, all your belongings were still on the train.  How the hell did this happen?  

                It was tempting to sit still and sob, but that would accomplish nothing so you moved faster hoping to catch up to the person. It was an older woman.  

                “Excuse me, Ma’am?”  You were almost caught up to her.  

                She stopped and glanced over her shoulder. Her lips pressed together and she shook her head in disappointment at you.  

                “I’m sorry. I know this sounds strange, but could you tell me where I am or how to get to a phone?”  You weren’t even certain of your uncle’s phone number; you never wrote it down only stored it in your cell.  

               “Yaksh imam bradolbo.” The women clicked her tongue.

               “Oh.” You didn’t have a clue what the language was. “Do you speak English?”  

               The woman continued to shake her head.  

                “Do you know anyone who does? Who I can talk to?” You knew how stupid you sounded, but didn’t know what else to do. “Please.”

                “Bradolbo.” She shook her head and turned to start walking.

                “Is it alright if I follow you?” You kept pace with her.  “Is there a train station around here?”  

                “Shalp bradolbo esq quilnton.” The woman walked faster.  

                Shit. You were probably scaring her.  You needed to find some way to communicate.  

                “Choo-choo.”  You moved your arms at your sides in circles.  “Chugga chugga, choo choo?”  

                You hoped that imitating a train was the same in every language.  The woman didn’t stop walking, but the disappointment in her face turned to pity and she shook her head.  

                “No train stop?” You didn’t understand.  “No English?”  

                “Bradolbo.” She turned the corner.  

                A few blocks up there was a large white tent. It was some form of country market and you felt a slight bit of relief.  Someone there would speak English.  You took a deep breath, knowing you had to hold it together for a little bit longer.

~~~

               Bucky pulled down the rim of his hat, hiding his face as much as he could without wearing a mask.  He hated coming to public spaces, but he needed to restock some of his staples and that meant coming into the farmer’s market.  

               He told himself to relax, reminding himself he picked this small country to hide for a reason. Nobody was going to pay any attention to him.  Still, he was quick, moving from table to table buying double of what he needed.  

                The snow season wasn’t due to start for another month but the chill told him otherwise so he aired on the side of caution and over purchased just in case he found himself snowbound until spring.  

                “Please? Someone? Anyone?” The familiar language caught Bucky’s ear.  “Can anyone understand me?  Please!”

                Why was someone speaking English in a place like this? All of Bucky’s nerves flared.  Was this a trap?  Had they found him?  He bent down and pulled off his backpack, placing his purchases in the bag while retrieving the pistol he stashed in there, sliding it up his sleeve.  

                “Please?”  The voice was female, but that in no way shape or form calmed Bucky’s nerves.

                He wouldn’t look at them. That would risk drawing attention.  He would rather observe before attacking in the middle of a marketplace.  

                With the gun in his grip, he tugged down his jacket sleeve and walked away from the pleading girl.

                “Is there a payphone?  US Consulate?  Can you tell me the name of this city?  Even what country I’m in?”  The girl’s voice faded as Bucky put distance between them.  

                When he was confident he was far enough away he turned to assess the situation.  If she was an assassin sent to draw him out it was a convincing decoy.  She was beautiful, even with the pained look of terror on her face that she was trying to control.  Frustration filled her eyes as she frantically blinked away the tears.

                She was underdressed too, wearing far too little for the cold air.  She didn’t even have a jacket.  

                “Please, can anyone help me?”  She spun in a circle looking at the other shoppers.  

                Every person kept their eyes down, avoiding her at all costs.  It was like she may as well have been a ghost.  Why wasn’t anyone reacting to the poor girl?  Even though she was speaking in a strange language Bucky was surprised nobody tried to help her.  

                “They’ve seen this before,” Bucky whispered to himself.

                There was a reason they ignored her.  Bucky knew what sort of country this was; it was a big reason he chose it.  He bet the poor lost woman didn’t have that choice.

                He pushed the thought down. She had nothing to do with him.  He needed to ignore her and leave her to whatever the fates had in store.  

                “Please?”  She was struggling to keep the tears out of her voice as it shook.  

                Bucky turned to leave, but he felt a pang of guilt. He had two options: go home and forget about the woman or try and help her.  He didn’t like either.  

                It was early, not even nine am, he guessed whoever was on their way to collect her was minutes away.  They wouldn’t let their catch roam free for too long.  

                By the time they arrived, she would be so desperate and scared she wouldn’t question getting into a car with a stranger.  Bucky knew the dangers of falling into the wrong hands, having your life taken away.  

                “Why won’t anyone talk to me?”  The girl sounded frantic. “Can I just use a phone? Can someone call the police?”  

                Every voice in his head told him it was a bad idea. Leave.  Forget about her, but Bucky still wasn’t sure if it was really him in charge of the voices.  

                “Shit.” He cursed to himself as he moved from behind the table and made a beeline straight for the girl.  “Option two it is.”  

~~~  

               You were seconds away from screaming at the top of your lungs.  It didn’t matter that these people spoke a different language, how could none of them be attempting to speak to you at all?  Maybe call the police over the crazy lady screaming in the market?  

                Right before you sucked in the air an arm flung around your shoulder, pulling you in for a hug.  

                “Act like you’re happy to see me.  Like this was all planned,” a voice spoke from the top of your head.  

                “Oh, you speak English thank God.” You sighed and pulled away from the chest. “Can you help me?”  

               Your breath caught in your throat as sparkling blue eyes looked down at you, he wore a grin that to everyone else was shielded by a baseball hat.  

                “We have to move.  Remember, act like you were waiting for me.”  He kept his arm around your shoulder and guided you to the back of the market.  

                “Move? Where are we going?”  You weren’t about to leave the man’s side.

                “Away from the crowd.  Keep your eyes down. Try and blend.”  You didn’t know how you were supposed to do that when a few minutes ago you were causing a scene.  

                Most people continued to ignore you, but others gaped at the man who was walking you out of the tent.  Almost like he was doing something forbidden. It should have made you uncomfortable, but someone finally agreed to help and you weren’t about to take that for granted.  

                “I was on a train, and then I woke up on the sidewalk. Where am I?”  When you left the area of the market his arm dropped from around your shoulder.  

                “We have to keep moving.”  The man walked to a small bike.

                “Wait.” You’d never been on a motorcycle before and weren’t sure this would seat two. “Can you take me to the police?”  

                “We don’t have time for this.”  He took off his backpack and held it out to you.  “You have two options, stay here and see what happens or come with me.”  

                You glanced behind your shoulder at the market. The awful feeling of invisibility making you almost convulse.  Without hesitation you walked over to him, taking the oversized backpack and throwing the straps around your shoulders.  He had made it look so light, but it was heavy enough you almost thought your back would throw out.  

                He kicked the bike on and you wrapped your arms around his waist as you took off.  The sound of the engine filled the cold air and you tried to bury your head into his back, hoping to block the wind.  

               How could things have gone so wrong so quickly? Your teeth started chattering and as your exposed hands froze around the man’s stomach.  You focused on the cold, telling yourself this man would help you. He would get you in touch with the authorities and you would be on your way to your uncle in no time.  You were sure of it.  There was nothing to fear.  You wouldn’t allow yourself to think anything else.  

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