#No I am your father

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Kenjaku: It’s useless. Your blood’s poison won’t affect me. I’m your father.

#jujutsu kaisen #kenjaku #chapter 204 #the time when kenjaku has become darth vader #trying to assert himself himself #what an abusive father #no I am your father

[randomplayz]

When your Dad is your arch-nemesis

D: I’ll kill you if it’s the last thing I’ll do.

F: Ha! You can try!

*Intense battle*

During the battle the villain’s mask gets torn off. The hero is stunned.

D: Dad?!

F: DAD?!?!?!

D: You’re my arch-nemesis?!

F: I’m sorry, who are you?

DAUGHTER takes mask off.

FATHER sudden intake of breath, on full lungs: DAUGHTER?!!?!?

D: So this is the ‘work’ you were doing when you said you wouldn’t be able to buy me chocolate, huh?! Liar!

F: Now, dear. I was busy terrorising innocent civillians.

D: Don’t give me that crap. I know for a fact that you robbed a few banks last week! You could’ve bought some chocolate while running away from police!

F: I couldn’t. You were attacking me from all sides!

D: Don’t be a baby! I threw you into a candy shop! You could have, at the very least, stolen some candies!

F: I was feeling like a decent human being!

D: You’re a criminal. You don’t even know what decency is! See, this is why mom left you!

F: Don’t bring your mother into this!

D: Oh, really?  Try me!

DAUGHTER gone with a whosh and then appears with MOM

MOM looks around, then sees FATHER, her eyes narrow.

M: You. *with venom*

FATHER pales.

F: Hello, dear.

M: I will kill you.

FATHER whimpers.

M: You. You made our baby girl run around fixing your messes? Do you want to die?

F: Now, darling, I told our daughter that playing hero won’t suit her! *quickly, panicked*

D: Hey!  You said I could be whatever I wanted to be!

F: Because I thought you would become a villain!

MOM cracks knuckles and tilts her head. FATHER takes a step back in fear.

M: ...Are you blaming our baby for all the shit you’ve caused?

FATHER look as if death came to greet him early.

F: Not at all, my beautiful, amazing wife! It’s all my fault! I take full responsobility!

FATHER loudly states, looks on the verge of combusting.

D whispers: Loser.

M: Ex-wife. *with killing intent*

F: Ex-wife. *energetically nods his head*

M: So this is where you were, doing “some important stuff ,my love”. *dangerously quiet*

MOM says quietly, filling the air with ice.

DAUGHTER, eating popcorn: OH! You’re in deep shit!

FATHER’s skin prickles.

M: You.

F: Me! *readlily agrees*

FATHER nodded with vigor.

M: I was watching my love-triangle show. And you.

MOM pointed a finger at him.

FATHER was as pale as snowman.

M:You cut off elecricity. For the whole city. I missed the confession scene. I missed the confession scene.

MOM pulls out a remote control.

M: You are dead meat. I’ll cook you for dinner.

That seemed possible. FATHER looked dead. No berating necessary.

Policemen in the distance.

P1:….Is that woman going to beat the most dangerous villain of the world.

Pause for emphasis.

P1, hysterical: With a remote control?

P2: Hey, stop that! That’s toxic masculinity! Don’t underestemate woman. Especially when you get in-between them and their romance shows.

P2 shivers.

P2: They’re scary.

Pause.

P1: Is she really beating him, with a remote?

P2: Look he’s taking it like a champ! *with mirth*

P2 claps his hands in delight.

P1: Where is the superhero?! Isn’t she, I don’t know, supposed to stop this?

P2: Look, she’s there, eating popcorn.

P1: What?! Isn’t she supposed to, um, protect the woman, uhhh, protect the villain from the woman?

P2: Nah, she lives for the drama. She let a bank robber go so she could see how his wife tore him apart. *shivers* That was a teryffying case. The robber turned himself in, said that he’ll take prison than take his wife. ‘Cause he could only survive one of those. The superhero was there the whole time, sometimes laughing, sometimes clapping her hands, to praise the good show.

P1: So then what do we do?

P2: Nothing.

P1: What?! Why?!

P2: The man’s already dead.

And that was that.

The villain arrived at the police station. Willingly. With a note stuck to his forhead. “Lending you the meat, can be treated roughly, return to me for further cooking”. Even the policemen felt sorry for the man.

This case would baffle police for decades.

The woman will have a statue erected in her honour, for deafeating the most dangerous man on earth, with a remote.

#funny #dad #dad jokes #villain #hero #you killed my father #no i am your father #joke #satire #comedy #bamfwomen #bamf #women are scary #womenempowerment #women supremacy #remote #beating people with remotes

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks! #fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out) #also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side. #he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head. #anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER. #100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him. #lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father. #lilia: #lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along. #(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him) #i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there. #and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

[vagueconfusion]

Feeling real ridiculous for not having realized that Baron's "stark father" was the Nightmare King until now

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #also #love cassandra's gender situation going on here tbh #hell of an episode. i am totally normal about it (they are in fact. not normal about it at all.) #am willing to explain my thought process here if need be #there is a slight temptation to write something about the possible relation between cassandra and baron now though #did cassandra know that was where baron was like she could always summon kalina? #the creator and creation (the thing you made at your worst) #father and son (you can barely sustain yourself. let alone others) #you were once a god and then you weren't and you made this being and now you are a god again and it still exists #hmmmm #hm! #things to think. thoughts to ponder. #sorry i keep adding tags. i keep having Thoughts

[doc-anders]

Cassandra: “Sir, Superman is on line one.”

#Mom’s new boyfriend may come to all your recitals but I am still your father #batfamily #batfam #batman #dc #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #black bat #batgirl #orphan

[vampireposter]

meeting wyll at the grove, as someone who the tieflings trust enough to train their children, says so much about him. it's so sad that he doesn't get explored in acts 2-3 as deeply as the other companions, when his problems are equally intense. the average player probably long rests once before coming across the grove, but even if not, in that time wyll has already proven to the tieflings that they can rely on the Blade of Frontiers.

this is the immediate first thing he chooses to do after being condemned to slow death via ceremorphosis. his priority list in the first conversations with tav is: 1) hunt down a dangerous devil, 2) help zevlor with the goblins, 3) once nothing threatens the tieflings he will gladly search for a tadpole cure. wyll is perpetually his own last priority, and i wonder if it has to do with the lore about souls.

if he believes mind flayers' souls have been destroyed, and fiend warlocks will all have their souls sent to the hells after death, then becoming a mind flayer isn't the worst possible way for him to die. he would never become a mindless monster to save his own soul, but he's not gripped by horror the way that some of the other origin characters are. lae'zel has been made revoltingly impure to her people, astarion is terrified of losing the scrap of bodily autonomy he just regained, gale is guilt-ridden over the orb detonation if he dies, shadowheart has to survive to prove herself to her cult leader, and karlach has also just regained bodily autonomy and is desparate to live.

this is just another quest for the Blade, whose persona guards wyll ravengard against the vice of self-concern when he ought to be concerned for those in need.

#wyll ravengard #bg3 #writing a wyll pov thing in order to roleplay harder in my durge playthrough & ive become obsessed w him #i love him so much. he doesnt even really get to realize in-game how traumatized he is and in act 3 he has not healed any really #come here wyll we are going to learn about self care. you & durge need to overcome the desire to give up your lives for your fathers ideals #faerun doesnt have LMHCs so wyll gets my durge who currently thinks he is (a miserable failure of) a cleric of ilmater. #this fic is practice for my 'ascended tavastarion struggle to quit being Like That' character study thing wherein i am struggling w dialogu #loving working on both. im in my little dollhouse making my toys try out lines until they fit #vampireposted

[skipppppy]

an eye for an eye

#penny i am SO sorry i have been reading unholy fanfiction about your father this entire time #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv epilogue #pokemon sv dlc #the hidden treasure of area zero #penny pokemon #nemona pokemon #peony pokemon #crown tundra #pokemon sword and shield

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.

#they treat these people as abnormal when really shoving anyone into categories of non-women and non-men is fucking #completely out of touch with how identity works #like i saw a demiboy lesbian flag and the comments are just FILLED with teenage queers getting so mad for no reason #saying shit like im in your walls or your father left you or whatever #please this is so CHILDISH grow UP #multigender #genderfluid #gay #lesbian #lesboy #turigirl #queer #lgbtq #just a he/they transmasc nonbinary boydyke lesbian VERY tired of this nonsense #actually erasure of multigender experience and that one of our genders will cancel out the other #made me very resistant to the fact that i may still be connected to feminity and girlhood #even though i am undoubtedly am #transmultiphobia

[opera-ghost]

it's immensely funny to me how andrew lloyd webber read this passage from the book and was like yeah the journey down to the phantom's lair is this really breathtaking magical gondola ride where christine is just captivated by the strange and fantastical beauty of it all (see below)

when in the novel they're both like in a rowboat in the dark with christine scared out of her mind and confused as hell while erik is paddling like he's out for an extreme day of fishing and just staring christine down for the entire duration of the journey without blinking once . like mind you his eyes quite literally GLOW in the DARK and he's just fucking staring into her soul and silently rowing and probably not even breathing like

#AND IT'S SOMEHOW STILL HOT #i always forget that by this point in the book there's no “i am your angel of music / come to me angel of music” like in the musical #like she has no idea who this mf kidnapping her is and when she says “who are you where is the voice” he's just like 🙄 #and when she DOES find out that *he's* the voice and he's been pretending to be an angel sent by her dead father for 3 months #it's when he's just set her down in his sitting room that's filled with a bunch of stupid pretentious flowers #and he's like “don't be afraid you're in no danger” despite the fact that she's been taken FIVE STORIES BENEATH THE OPERA against her will #by the guy who's been manipulating and lying to her through the goddamn walls #ohhhhhhhh and then fans have the audacity to get mad at christine for trying to snatch his mask like THIS MF ABDUCTED HER???? #(still love him though <3) #(his morals are questionable but so is my interest in men😍) #phantom of the opera #poto #poto shitpost

[asherashedwings]

Mmmm yummy angst

#fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #fnaf ruin #fnaf glamrock bonnie #fnaf monty #montgomery gator #glamrock bonnie #THAT WAS HIS FATHER FIGURE YOUR HONOR #I am a monty defender #bro did not kill bonnie I REFUSE to believe that /lh #ashedwings art #ashedwings post #Ruins Rebuilt au

[wintersoldier2005]

sorry but the idea of bruce being dick's father in his mid 20s. he's always a little tired but otherwise he's young and looks it too. he can pick dick up with one hand to put him on his shoulders. he doesn't know jack about taking care of kids. they play a game that they both love where bruce picks him up and just like... throws him off of the spiraling staircase to watch how he catches himself in the air and lands unharmed. they play soccer together in the backyard and bruce is so young and spry and he can do a bicycle kick (dick goes to school and tells everyone that bruce can do a bicycle kick. not to flex but he's really cool guys.) he lets dick make dino nuggets as their dinner three nights in a row when alfred is gone and they make a stupid big everything but the kitchen sink sundae and split it afterwards. kid you're killing me, he says, because he has a sweet tooth that alfred doesn't enable. maybe sometimes they argue and argue bad, especially as dick grows up, but at the end of the day that's his dad.

one day like ten fifteen years later when damian is young dick looks at bruce and all the sudden what happened.... his dad has crow's feet and his hair is graying a little...! that sort of tiredness that people get as they age! he's still strong he's the fucking batman but when damian wants to play a game (being hurled off the balcony into the pool) bruce looks at dick and smiles and he's got lines on his face. he's aging. and that's still bruce but he doesn't laugh with his head thrown back anymore and he doesn't style his hair the way he used to when he was in his 20s and he's stopped wearing the loose button ups with the first button undone he wore when he picked him up from school in the convertible. his dad is getting older and even bruce wayne can't escape the passage of time. he tells damian no being thrown off the roof. damian protests. but grayson says you used to throw him off the staircase when he was my age. bruce throws his hands up and turns away and gives dick a look before he goes that tells him he'll be in his office and if there happens to be a loud splash from the pool... well that's none of his business is it.

#dc comics #batman #batfam #dick grayson #bruce wayne #YOU KNOW. THE CYCLES??? THE FUCKING FAMILIAL CYCLES???? KILLS MY SELF???? #something about the thin line between bruce being dick's father and brother you know... is so fucking interesting. but i digress #also just to be clear these are all my own hcs and literally none of them come from anywhere in any published dc comic. do not get on my #ass about it i am making a silly little POST on TUMBLR DOT COM. if you dont like it complain to your mama. peace & love on the palanet eart

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts no 28

Danny dropped his pencil when the door slammed open and a very angry vigilante pointed a finger at him, "YOU!"

The class around him started to chatter, wondering what was happening.

Voice raising an octave he answered dumbly, "Me?!"

"You didn't show up for the wedding!"

If the room full of teenagers were curious before they were nearly howling now. Fenton of all people is dating a potential superhero?! Marrying even?!

Standing up from his seat he grabbed his backpack, "I never agreed to the wedding!"

"Yes you did! I asked for your hand and you agreed!"

Danny thought back to when he and Robin first fought and he barely managed to hold his own, "I thought you were helping me up!"

"You will wed me as you agreed! Even if I have to challenge you for it!" Uh oh. Quick Fenton come up with something or you're gonna be a Wayne soon.

"Forced marriage is illegal in America!" Really brain? That's what you came up with???

"Then we will have the wedding in 'Eth Alth'eban!" Danny didn't even know what that was.

"Thats not the point!" Danny was acutely aware of all the eyes in the room, even Mr. Lancer seemed thoroughly enthralled by the scene that was unfolding. Which is just another reason why he needed to escape. He opened the window he had been edging toward since the start of this argument and flung himself out of it, ignoring the horrified screams of his classmates. He landed two stories down in the flowerbed and ran towards the football fields. Damian knew about Dannys powers, but that didn't mean he couldn't be deceived.

Damian followed after soon enough, leaving the class to explode with theories as to whats happening. Mr. Lancer took this moment to get back to what he was teaching by connecting it to what just happened and making them write a "short" story of a minimum 5 pages of what they thought happened here.

In reality Mr Lancer was an English literature major. Loving a good story came with the territory and oh boy did he need to know this story. Even if it was essentially just fanfiction from his students.

Theories run rampant throughout the school about what the truth was. Paulina even goes on a mushy gushy speel about The hero perhaps being a prince (technically true) that fell in love with Fenton (true), got Fenton to accidentally agree to a marriage proposal (true) and followed him here from his homeland to pursue his hand in marriage (also true)

The fact that Danny was constantly forced to use his powers in human form while being chased by his "fiance" was setting off every upgraded ghost alarm they came near, leading everyone to think Robin was a ghost. (Not true)

The Fenton parents go nuts when they find out a "ghost prince/ghost superhero no 2" was chasing thier son around and went to rescue him. Danny threatens to never forgive Robin if he kills his parents so birdy has to hold back.

Danny gets trapped in a ghost cage for a while as Fenton for his own good, gets told off by his parents as Phantom telling him they don't have time for him right now. Danny is both touched and offended. Even as thier top priority he's thrown onto the backburner. The chase ends with Robin carrying an unconscious Danny in a bridal carry into the Fenton portal while the camera in the lab livestreams it for all to see courtesy of a few tech nerds hacking

Tucker and Sam had been running interference all day and were exhausted. They were lucky Dannys secret was still safe.

Aka: Dannys Unfortunate Supernatural Romance from the Perspective of his Classmates

Do they follow them through the portal? Yes, but they have to corner Jazz, Sam and Tucker into letting them into the spector speeder under threat of snitching.

No one is allowed to ask why they're following a boomerang through the undead dimension.

#danny fenton #fanfiction prompts #prompts #danny phantom #dp x dc #robin #damian wayne #damian wayne x danny fenton #dead serious #danny is scared and frustrated #he is ok with dating but this is going too fast #damian is racing through the manor with an unconscious danny #damian: behold father! this is your new son! #bruce: you adopted someone FOR me??? #damain: >:( no father i am getting married to him #chaos ensues #elderich comedy #disturbing themes #dub con #but for marriage?? #not sure how to tag this

[adeleine-everyday]

day 39

drifting off in the clouds (the king's robes)

#alt title honk shoo honk shoo honk shoo #yknow. i tell myself oh todays gonna be a lazy doodle day. and then i start breaking out the color palettes and lineart and shading. #anywayss dedede piggybacking adeleine <333 he would 100% do this in canon trust #tbh they should interact more in canon i am begging hal #adeleine #adeleine kirby #kirby series #king dedede #day 39 #they are siblings/uncle+niece/father+daughter/cousins your honor

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[jedi-starbird]

No one ever tells Obi-Wan that he is his Master's padawan.

Of course, for most people who had known Qui-Gon Jinn, telling someone else they resembled the the man would in fact be a thinly veiled insult. But still, Obi-Wan feels the absence of comparisons almost as strongly as he feels the absence of his Master.

There is no one for Obi-Wan to push against now, no strong presence at his side, ready to grab him by scruff and pull him back from another reckless stunt. It's an odd feeling. He has been set loose against his wishes. There is no one to his left and Anakin at his heels, but Anakin had needed, still needs, a strong, gentle figure for his prickly but sensitive heart. For even their worst bickering could not hold a candle to the scathing remarks he and Qui-Gon had shot at each other and Obi-Wan knows he cannot push and needle Anakin in the same way.

When Qui-Gon had been alive they had been an amusing, mirrored pair, the maverick and his rule-following padawan. Opposites clashing against each other, yet working together to complete the most difficult missions. Few saw that Qui-Gon's impertinence had indeed rubbed off on his padawan, cultivated from that small, angry initiate, because the only way to rebel against the rule-breaker had been to parrot the Council fastidiously. No one would ever get to see that again. Obi-Wan is one half of a mirrored pair trying to complete a routine on his own. What once was an impish, teasing compliance is now a betrayal of all his Master's values.

"How could Qui-Gon raise such a model Jedi?" He hears them say, "It's admirable that Master Kenobi was appointed to the Council despite his Master's maverick ways."

Padawan Kenobi would have yelled and kicked and screamed. Master Kenobi is serene. It should feel like an achievement. It feels like a disappointment.

Sometimes, Obi-Wan looks at the shape of the man he has moulded himself into, and aches to be his Master's padawan.

#I am so totally normal about them. (screaming crying throwing up) #anyway yeah obi wan has daddy issues but in a very specific way that's less i want a father figure and more i require an animal handler #hence why obi wan likes both alpha 17 and cody finally someone to tell him he's being an idiot and be bitchy with him he's missed this #giving the guilt boy MORE guilt complexes over honoring his masters legacy #but god really imagine you spend a decade making yourself the opposite of your master in a funny back and forth you both indulge in but the #BUT THEN!! he fucking dies and you're left alone occupying a dynamic carved for 2 people and everyone tells you they can't see any of your #dead master within you as if it's a joke. as if that's funny. as if that's a good thing. and people say he would be proud but would he? #would he be proud when everyone always tells you that you are the opposite of him? that you are everything he was not? #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #disaster lineage #star wars

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

fiona gallagher // the angry man in the house

#ami weaves a web #for real this time!!! since it's not just a couple of pictures with lyrics from one (1) song lol #anyways #tw abuse #something about growing up with an angry abusive father and harboring all this fear and then watching your siblings learn his violence #and then turn it on you #and you're also this deeply angry person #there's no escaping that #but seeing your father's rage in your baby brother's eyes #the baby brother you've raised from infancy #god. it fucks me up so much #also the fact that fiona looks resigned to frank's anger and puts on this brave face when he's yelling at her but is visibly shaken and #terrified when it's lip or ian is breaking my heart #you can put up your wall of steel when you know someone's going to hurt you. but when you don't expect it... #man fuck these fathers who put their hands on their little kids #i should be allowed to go feral i think. hm. maybe i am just struggling to be at home with my family. anyways #fuck frank all my homies hate frank