#OH and its an actual shade of my everyday lipstick

[adashelbysgirlfriend]

A Taste for Something Younger  - Polly Grey Headcannon

Omg I love the Ada roommate headcanon! Could you do the same for Polly? Maybe with a woman a little older/same age as Ada (because we accept age gaps in this household) and her and Polly actually get together in the end? I'd die for that ( @vikingsxf​ )

this idea gave me a big gay hard on and honestly I'm so glad you had it; Polly doesn't get enough love. Ive gone for a younger (Ada age) reader because we definitely support a healthy age gap relationship and i just want to pretend its me who's with polly so. ALSO THIS IS A BIT SMUTTY JUST A LITTLE BIT BUT JUST A WARNING OKAY BABES 

you and Ada had been friends since she started at the library

you both had a lot in common and she would tell you about her crazy relatives which always kept you entertained

obviously you had no clue that the Ada Throne you knew was actually thee Ada Shelby 

when you finally do meet her brother in one of his unannounced visits to her flat its a massive shock that your besties family are the notorious Shelby's 

she brings you out to meet the other brothers and John and Arthur both take a liking to you

when Finn tells Polly about Adas new friend from the city who is breaking hearts all over Birmingham she doesn't really have much to think 

i mean it wouldn't be the first time the shelby boys lost their heads over a girl (especially dumb and dumber) and it probably won't be the last

but when she gets the pleasure of meeting you she can't help but understand why the lads lost their heads

you're stunning, not just physically 

you're mind is almost too wise for your years

“you've got an old soul” 

“thank you, Mrs Gray”

“its Miss, and call me Pol”

you're around a lot

you help in the office with the other women and come for drinks when Tommys in a good mood and feels like having the gang out

Polly’s sass making an impression

you're really intimidated by her because she's just this all knowing mature lady who is also really stunning 

she invites you and ada over to have a girly evening 

you literally don't want to go

anxious as hell

i feel like Polly is one of those people that gives off this no bullshit vibe, so you're scared to even chat to her just incase you say the wrong thing

dressing to impress by buying a new outfit and feeling like a fool for it

its the first thing Polly notices when she sees you 

“you look ravishing don't you”

literally blushing all over

stumbling on your words

Ada has no clue whats going on and is so confused

maybe even a little jealous? why are you swooning over her auntie so much 

Ada gets a surprise phone call and has to leave and you are wanting to leave with her but Polly all nah stay 

this is the (best) WORST CASE SCENARIO PEOPLE 

ALONE WITH POLLY 

in her HoUSE

getting drunk to hide the fear but then also getting loose lipped

chatting absolute beans with her and she can't stop laughing at you 

Because she loves that you're a bit scared of her but seeing a more bold side of you kinda turns her on

the drinking night becomes a weekly thing

you start to relax into Polly presence 

seeking comfort in your time in her home 

Ada doesn't even get an invite anymore

getting drunk together and her listening while you babble on about literally the most random topics ever

you get two whiskies in and start telling her all the facts you know about giraffes or the fall of the Berlin wall

and she just loves to sit and watch you 

insane tension 

a lot of staring 

touching but nothing that would cross the friendship line, flirting with it though 

her doing you makeup and telling you about the wild things she's done 

that almost so close you could kiss but without the kiss tension when she's in your face putting your lipstick on

she says you look good in red, which you don't believe but at this point she could tell you you looked good in a teletubbie costume and a bitch would be dressed head to toe as Lala

she sees you start to push your comfort zones and she loves it 

the new found confidence makes her horny as hell

Jealous Ada is more jealous when she sees you walking round in Polly’s shade of lipstick 

“she must really like you to let you borrow that” - but its LACED IN GAY ANGST BECAUSE WTF HOW DID HER AUNT STEAL YOU 

i feel like you make the first move 

which isn't something you or Polly expected

like you've both been drinking all night and for some reason you start doing vodka shots

and this is the good shit vodka were stalking russian standard pissed off your tits shit love

and you watch her neck those shots like she's getting paid by the hour

and you just 

walk stumble right on over there and fall into her lap 

grab that sexy face in both hands and give her the softest kiss she's ever had in her life

it feels like her first kiss ever

which is saying something because you betcha that womans had a lot of kisses

polly doesnt know how to respond she's SHOOK 

she doesn't even close her eyes she's like 

literally frozen in shock 

pulling straight back

whoops

suddenly all that drunk confidence is gone and you're hit with that crippling anxiety you get when you've done something wrong and been caught for it 

Polly grabbing a fist full of your hair and pulling you back down 

now she's KISSING YOU AND OH LORD 

passion 

she's not even clumsy when she's drunk like you are this woman is EXPERIENCED

lip biting oh my christ 

not that pussyass nibbling but actual biting 

and tongue 

and i mean after that loves theres no going back really is there

finding your confidence again or maybe just horniness and drifting your hand under her skirt

your newfound confidence surprises her but she refuses to let you know that because hello she's Polly fucking Gray 

“dont start something you can't finish, little dove”

“do you want me to stop?”

“i didn't say that”

this is the START OF SOMETHING NEW

leaving her panting and sweating, lipstick smudged and clinging to the arms of the chair

i mean once it happens once its a common occurrence loves

not that either of you are complaining 

not just sex but dates in her living room by the fire

walks together arm and arm 

nobody really thinks to much of seeing her and you together, either assuming you're just one of the boys girlfriends or that you're her niece or something 

and they couldn't be more wrong but their ignorance is bliss

she loves how young you make her feel

and you love how much she takes care of you

i feel like maybe she's a little nervous of baring all to you; physically and mentally

her body is slightly more mature than yours, things aren't as new and shiny as yours may be; i feel like she’d take some reassurance maybe before she knew that you wouldn't just leave her for someone your own age

not that Polly is one to doubt her self worth but she feels like maybe she's just a phase for you 

you wouldn't want her any other way though; you love her body and lets be real we all do too 

she takes even longer to be open about her memories and past

i feel like she slowly but surely reveals more and more about her private life until she can finally trust you with the complete story 

the rest of the shelbys know better than to question Polly on her personal choices; but they are happy to see the carefree woman they remember from when they were young 

even salty Ada can see the happiness you bring out in her, although she doesn't want to admit it to herself

Polly buys lingerie for you all the time 

being bratty and flashing your bra strap to her in public places 

or grabbing her hand and running it under your dress until she can feel the lace of your underwear when you're both out in the Garrison 

she has this “wait until i get you home” look that you'll do anything to provoke 

she teases you until you beg for her to let you finish as punishment 

“you see what you get for being naughty, y/n?”

she likes it when you ride her face, because although Polly is still in control she likes to put you in a position of power

and she likes to be able to see all of you when you're close to the edge

angry sex, because lets be real Polly can be a snappy little bitch and when you both get angry what better way is there to solve the issue than rough lesbian sex 

she loves your smile 

and your giggle

it makes her feel like a teenager all over again 

nobody really understands how you put up with such a intimidating, dominating woman everyday but they don't see cuddly Polly who likes to be little spoon 

she does her very best to keep you out of the family business and always will because you're one of the only people on earth Polly couldn't live without 

you often joke about how Polly would just move in after you but she knows that after you there would be nobody else for her

“without you my little doll, i couldn't be me” 

lots of lap sitting 

hair stroking  

the sweetest kisses; she tastes of cherry and whisky

she says you're like pink gin, sweet tasting and extremely intoxicating 

Polly had given up on love until she found you, and now she's got you best believe she will spend the rest of time she has on earth making sure she keeps you 

#polly gray #polly shelby #polly gray x reader #Polly Gray imagine #polly shelby x reader #polly gray headcannon #polly gray smut #peaky blinder headcanon #peaky blinder imagine #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders smut #thomas shelby #Arthur Shelby #John Shelby #Ada Shelby #i feel a bit dirty now #and gay #and wet

[thequeenb]

Poppy x MC

Everyone cheers as Poppy strikes a pose in the middle of the field blowing kisses to her adoring followers. How charming

Zoe next to me scoffs watching Chloe giving us a 'suck it' kind of look. I sigh as i think if this is a good idea, but its to late to back down now

"Don't you dare think about this twice you are the fabulous Bea Hughes now go there and show the dancing Queens what putting on a show really means" Zoe says as she shoves me towards the field

But of course Miss 'I cant mind my own business' Min-Sinclair had to comment. Adorable she has my name on her lips so often.

"My condolences to your performance Wanabee, its not late to back down" gosh she smirks and I just want to make her regret her words

"Ha! You call that performance darling?" This is the first time i actually take her in. She is wearing a cheerleader outfit that hugs her body perfectly. The mini skirt is revealing as much skin as possible and her shirt show off her cleavage. Focus Bea

"You think you can top this Hughes?"

Oh i am just getting started "Oh honey i can definitely do so" i smirk before Jaylen appears with her vintage red car to rescue me from Poppy's claws

"Hop in Bea" she says as her newest single blast from the speakers. The crowd goes wild and i get lost in the music and the screams that come from every direction. As Jaylen sings all i focus on is her. She is sitting on a bench drinking her ridiculous electrolyte water. Deep down i wanted revenge for all the things she has done but now? I reg--

"Thank you, you are a wonderful crowd i just want to thank Bea for inviting me here today!"

I am brought back to cruel reality, where Poppy and I hate eachother, and the students of the university are dying for it. I smile trying to focus on providing everyone that i am better than her and thats when it's my time to shine

The song is coming to an end and i have to do a final pose. For a second i am thinking but then i hop out of the car running towards where the Dancing Queens are sitting

"IS BEA GOING TO EMBARRASS OUR MAJESTY EVEN MORE?" i can hear the announcer say through the speakers.

Although i want nothing more than to wipe that bitchy smile off her face i approach with better intentions

"What the hell--" Poppy start going off immediately. Gosh her voice is so sexy yet so annoying but i don't let her finish instead i pull her towards me dipping her down as i capture her lips to a breathtaking kiss.

The crowd goes wild as the song comes to an end. Poppy and i are still kissing but then she pushes me away slightly blushing

"Are you insane? I just kissed garbage!!"

"I told you i can do better" i lock eyes with her as i wipe her lipstick off my face

Just then Zoe and the Zeta team approach while chanting my name, happiness written all over their faces "We did it!!" Luis says excitedly as he high five Carter

"I didn't think you had it in you New girl. Hey babe did you see what--" but before he could even finish Poppy's face is red with anger

"How could you help this stupid cow???" Wow that was harsh

"Wow babe it was noth--" but she becomes a blur, walking away from the field as fast as possible

I sigh before deciding if she is worth running behind to but i do anyways needing some fresh air.

She didn't get far as she sits on a bench in the heart of the campus. She murmurs to herself probably plotting my death, how accurate is that? From afar i can sense her disappointment and wait a minute, did i just feel sympathetic towards her?

As soon as she catches a glimpse of me she puts her mask back on and looks at me like I am her worst enemy

"The kick-off day was supposed to be mine!!" She says standing up. Wow was following her a good idea after all?

"Calm down and breathe can you? Its just a game!" I try to argue but its pointless because her anger takes over

"Ugh shut your stupid mouth! You come in here thinking you own this place, you are a nothing! And how dare you kiss me" her face turns a whole new shade of red and i actually feel a little terrified

"And to actually think i felt bad" i turn around ready to leave but then i can feel her stare burning behind my back. Ugh why am i so kind?

I sit next to her on a safe distance watching the endless empty campus. I dare to study her expression and i notice how badly she is holding back her tears

"You know you can cry right? It wont make you less bitchy anyways"

Poppy avoids my gaze looking skeptical "you dont understand"

I don't understand what exactly? That you are a bitch? That you try since day one to destroy me or that i am actually here confronting you? which one be specific.

"I am trying to understand why are you so mean to me without a reason"

Poppy laughs sarcastically turning towards me facing me and oh wow is that a hint of blush?

"Where i come from being on top was always a necessity, if you aren't the best you are basically nothing" those icy walls are melting baby.

"Thats bullshit" i say simply shrugging

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, you dont have to be the best on everything, after all i am sure if you were less rude and cruel you would be likable"

Poppy raises her eyebrow at me and for a moment i think she might attack me like tigers do with their prays.

"Does that mean you dont like me? Not that i care obviously you are--"

'I like you" wow now thats something i never thought i would say.

She is speechless just for a minute thinking what insult she would say next, obvi.

"You aren't bad" she cracks a small smile that makes me giggle

"Gosh you see? We dont have to be rude to eachother" i move closer to her but she is not backing down

"If you learnt how to dress maybe we could be frends, better yet my worthless assistant"

"Aaaand you ruined it" i say trying to make sense of her actions. Infront of people she is so cruel and strong like nothing can break her down, but when she is alone her walls are collapsing and all she is left with are feelings she cant deal with

"Ugh why did you kiss me anyways Hughes ? That was the most disgusting thing i ever had to do in my life" Sure Pop that's why you were clinging on me the whole time

"I put on a show for you" i lower my voice moving even closer to her until our shoulders touch

She dares to look at me and i am left breathless. Underneath all that armor she has a broken heart and hidden sensitivity i only get to see glimpses of. She scans the area realising we are alone and i smirk

"No audience now Poppy, but the whole school already knows"

"Thats not-- i--" did Min-Sinclair just shutter? Aw Bea you make her nervous how adorable!

I reach for her face but she dodges my touch as i roll my eyes "What do you think you are doing?" Oh let me show you

Without another word i lean in and our simple kiss become a heated make out session. I knew that she likes me. I move my hands to the small of her back pressing her against me even more gaining a low moan from her

"I love your outfit by the way" i say between kisses and i can feel her smile against my lips

"If you tell anyone about this i will make sure to wear this everyday making you suffer with this incredible sight" was that actually flirting coming from Poppy? Wow i am making progress

In response i just move my hands on her waist while i suck on her neck "Be quite" i whisper in her ear as i move her skirt a little bit higher

And of course someone has to ruin it

"THAT WAS SICK DID YOU TAG ME?" a student says and then another and another until we realize we aren't alone anymore. Poppy adjusts her clothes standing up glaring at me with the same cold distant look

"This isn't over you tramp!!" She makes sure everyone listen toher but she gives me a quick wink making sure I don't get offended, ah she is in love. Everyone watch her disappear and i sit back on my seat wondering all the things i will do to her when I get her alone. I will bring you to the edge Min-Sinclair i promise.

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @princessstellaris @coldbatfriendroad @poppyminsinclairswife @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @justastranger-passing @jayrnada @slytherinthoughts7 @uselesslesbianfr

#queen b #play choices #choices fic #poppy min sinclair #poppy x mc #choices fanfiction #my fics #queen b mc #queen bee #pb choices #pb #choices

[mendesficsxbombay]

your boyfriend is...(II)| s.m

part 1 here

I had received requests for a part two of this fic which happens to be the most loved one so far so here you go! I hope you like it!

He sees white. 

There’s white sand, he thinks it’s sand, and curtains billowing over it. He sees a large wooden cabana, steps leading up to it, the steps are white, the pillars are white. He hears the sound of water somewhere. 

Turning around, he sees waves crashing into the sand, can water be white? The sunset is almost as beautiful as the day he saw her the first time, splatters of pink and violet and orange. The sky is the only pop of colour he thought he needed. 

There’s a carpet leading up to the cabana, white, of course, and large vases lined along it, there are white flowers - petunia, daisy, wisteria, large streams of flowers hanging from the ceiling of the cabana. He sees his friends dressed in white suits, his dad in a white tux, too and he smiles thinking of how perfect it all looks. His mother stands with her mother, both wearing white flowers in their hair, it looks beautiful on them. A hand touches his back, and he knows it’s her. 

He turns around to take her in his arms, he could look at her forever. Glowing, flushed and smiling up at him. He leans down to kiss her but she pulls away, “Wake up, baby.”

“Huh?”

“Wake up, Shawn it’s 9 and you have to be in the studio in an hour.”

He sees white again, but this time it’s the comforter wrapped around him, it’s her silk dress shirt and the headband she chose for the day, it’s her laptop case she is currently packing away and the large photo frame behind her, holding a photo of theirs. 

“What?”

“Wow, you did sleep well, huh? It’s Tuesday, babe you need to be at the studio at 10 and you asked me to wake you up before I leave.”

He checks for the rings on her hands, just the set of gold bands she always wore. Huh. She must’ve taken off the ones he gave her. 

“I don’t know what time I’ll be back today so please don’t forget your keys, actually you know what I’ll just,” she links his house keys with his car keys, “there, now you won’t forget it.”

Pleased with herself she walks over to him again, she kisses him lightly on the cheek, mindful of the deep marsala shade of lipstick she is wearing, “I love you, have the best day at work,” she pulls away smiling. 

“Babe, where’s your ring?”

She looks at him in confusion - “What ring?”

“You know, the ring?” 

She looks down at her hands in confusion - what ring? Oh, wait, he’s probably asking about my mom’s ring, she thinks to herself. What a thoughtful boy. 

“Oh, that’s tucked away in our closet, don’t worry. I gotta leave now, bye bubs!”

And she’s gone. It looked like a flash of white, his mind still hazy. Was it because he got high before sleeping last night? That couldn’t be it, right? 

He sighs while moving sluggishly to sit up, rubbing his eyes and willing the sleep to go away. He slept for over 10 hours and still felt exhausted, it worried him to think about what it would be like when he they actually get down to planning the wedding - god forbid that coincides with planning for his tour. How would he do it all? It seemed impossible, he should’ve proposed a long, long time ago, should’ve done it as soon as the last tour got over, no wait he should have proposed in the middle of his tour, and got married as soon as tour got over. Then they would already be married right now and she would wear the ring all the time. He’s just stupid thats all he is, really. 

He pulls himself over the side of the bed, laying his feet into the plush white, faux fur carpet she insisted on getting when they moved in. The carpet was one of the better decisions she had made and he silently thanked her each time he walked over it. We should have carpets like this at the wedding. 

In no time he was carried away with thoughts about the wedding again, the location, the invitations, her outfits, his outfits, the honeymoon, but the dull vibrations of his phone on the nightstand pulled him to reality. It was her. 

“Hi baby”

“Did you shower yet?”

“…No.”

“You are going to be so late, please go shower, please.”

She acted like such a wife already. The wife of his dreamiest dreams. “Yes ma’am,” he grinned into the phone, getting out of bed and heading to their en suite. 

_______________________________ 

He pulls himself up to the door after yet another strenuous day at the studio. He had to FaceTime his label executives in New York and LA, scheduling meetings for the coming week and still having to figure a way to finish the day’s task list. He unlocks the door and steps inside, a dull headache working its way in. Shawn toes his shoes off and lightly kicks them in line with hers to make them look neat and finally walks into their living room. 

She’s cuddled into the blanket they thew over the couch for times when they needed a binge watch, her hair pulled into a loose braid and glasses perched on her nose. She notices him walk in slowly, pulls the blanket off herself, getting covered by him instead. Smiling to herself she pulls the blanket over both of them again, her hands weaving through his curls softly, aware of how many times he must’ve tugged and ran his hands through it during the day. 

“How was it today?” She asks, careful of how soft she spoke. 

He mumbles something along the lines of being tired and getting 3 songs finished and having ideas for a few more. He moves on top of her, turning his head and adjusting himself so he could face outwards, lightly taking in her post shower scent. Vanilla and roses. Roses remind him of the floral arrangement for their wedding again. He figures he should let her decide this bit. 

“What do you think about wisteria and white roses for the wedding?” He mumbles, she only gets the names of the flowers, nothing else. 

“As flowers? I think they’re great! There’s dinner in the kitchen, I can heat it up if you want.”

“I’m thinking of lots and lots of wisteria, what an underrated plant…”

“baby did you smoke up again? I hope you didn’t drive in this condition.”

“No I didn’t, why’d you ask that?” He’s so sleepy he can barely get the words out but she hears him, shushes him because if he gets worked up now he won’t be falling asleep anytime soon. 

“Okay I’m sorry, but do you want food right now though? Or do you want to wake up in the middle of the night again when you’re hungry?”

“Cocoa.”

“What?”

“I want cocoa.”

“It’s kinda hot to be drinking cocoa, bud.”

“Turn up the cooling then, and please make me some cocoa, I love you.”

She had to bite back a laugh. Sleepy Shawn wasn’t too far off from Drunk Shawn except when he was sleepy he liked the quiet, and when he was drunk he absolutely needed to scream everything, all wide eyed and overly gesticulative. She had her fair share of experience with both, and asking for hot chocolate the way her mum makes it was basically code for exhaustion like he hadn’t felt in a while. She slowly picked both of them up from the comforts of the couch and led him into the kitchen. She welcomed the feeling of cold marble under her feet, like she said it was summer and her snacks usually included ice creams and popsicles these days. 

He sat himself by the kitchen island, propping his head on his hands and watching her putter around putting together his favourite drink, her body nearly working on out pilot when she mixed the cocoa powder and brown sugar, he’s convinced she could make it with her eyes closed. 

“baby,” he called out, still just as soft, he didn’t have the energy for anything more than a whisper now. She hummed in response, not paying much mind, because he often called out to her out of habit, not purpose. 

“Listen, please,” he pouted because she hadn’t turned around to see him yet. 

“I’m listening, baby.”

“We should have cocoa at the wedding.”

“What?”

“I said, we should ha-”

“No, I heard you but hot chocolate isn’t exactly a wedding drink, I’ve never had it at a wedding?”

“Who cares about others? It could be our wedding drink.”

She felt a spark of heat starting in her chest and working towards her cheeks. Our wedding? She loved how casually he spoke about their future, like it wasn’t something he had to give too much of a thought to - it’s just a thing that’s meant to happen. She silently crushed some pieces of chocolate onto both their mugs as a topping, they weren’t the biggest fans of cream of any sort in their drinks and thought of how she would never want them to change, and how there’s no one else she’d rather make cocoa for at midnight on a Thursday. 

He was the purest person she had had the pleasure of knowing in her life, barely any malice and a heart full of respect and love for anyone that came across him. It hadn’t been easy, loving him, she’d been burned before and who’s to say he wouldn’t do the same to her? But now that she thought of the years they’d spent together and the moments they created in this very house and multiple places across the world, she wouldn’t mind being burned again if it meant she still got to keep him. Forgiveness didn’t come easy but with him it came like second nature. 

She turned around to place both their mugs on the island letting out a silent laugh at the image of her very tall, very lanky boyfriend passed out on the platform, head supported by both his arms. She wished the album would wrap up soon, the creative process had really taken a toll on him and he looked more and more worn out everyday. As much as it was his job, it was her job to look out for him too.  

Softly running her hand over his hunched back on her way out, she picked up his phone from where they it on the couch. Swiping it open, she pulled up his group chat with the writers and producers he was currently working with, shooting them a text that he wasn’t feeling too well and they should hold off recording for the next 2 days. 

Feeling accomplished, she looked back at where he was now snoring on the counter, she thought of if and when he would choose to slow down his career if they wished to be married. Maybe it was too early for her to be thinking so, hell, they hadn’t even proposed to each other yet. And if and when a wedding successfully goes through, they would still have a whole life ahead of themselves to plan things. To date, he’d gone above and beyond to make sure she was alright with the pace at which he was moving, and where they stood as a couple and just making sure that she was okay, and she knew for sure that he would continue doing the same for as long as they were together, it’s just a part of who he was, especially around her. 

She walked over to him, gently prodding him awake and watching him chug down the hot chocolate like his life depended on it. She smiled the whole time they went back to their room and finished their night routines and snuggled up in bed. If this was what the rest of her life looked like, she wouldn’t even mind running at the same pace as him. 

__________________

He has a Pinterest board dedicated to their wedding. They’re nearing the end of his fourth studio album fast, and each time they take a break he is glued to his phone and Saving and Moodboarding things for the ceremony. Teddy warned him that if he asked her to pick between an arched altar and a slightly more arched altar, she would leak his album. It’s not her fault they all look the same no matter how much he wanted to fight her on it. 

He’s currently swiping through decor options for their afterparty when he sees it. He’s not sure what a dress is doing in the middle of photos of rounded tables and helium balloons but he swears his mouth goes dry thinking of her in that dress. It’s a vision in gold, intricate embroidery on the sleeveless bustier, two tuck lines running down the front and a cinched waist that flairs out into the most beautiful ball gown he’s seen till date. And he’s seen a lot of them, he has a board to show for it. 

He takes a screenshot and sends it to her. 

From Shawn: Hi, I hope you’re having a good day at work so far, I saw this dress and I think it’d be perfect for the afterparty (attachment: 1 image)

Halfway across the city, she was on her break at work, deep in conversation with Tiffany, yes Shawn’s stylist Tiffany, about outfit choices for the GRAMMYs in the coming few days. Shawn wasn’t performing this year, so it wasn’t as stressful of a time as it would’ve otherwise been. She had shortlisted 2 outfits with Tiff earlier, now wondering if she even needed 2. Tiffany said she’d need an hour or so to figure how she could layer her evening gown and then use the same for the afterparty, she hated having to go back and change even if Shawn wanted to.    

She was about to resume work when a notification lit up her phone.  Reading Shawn’s texts, she paused in confusion, wondering why he was sending her dress recommendations when she was already talking to Tiffany. Tapping on the link anyway, she is led to an ethereal gown, the kind that she’s convinced only exist online and not in real life. She may have even let out a blissed out sigh, the aesthetic experience running sparks through her heart and mind, imagining herself in a dress so god sent, but where would she wear it? 

The realisation cuts her supply of serotonin real quick, reminding her that absolutely no occasion she had been invited to thus far was worth an outfit like that. 

To Shawn: Hi baby, I miss your face, only 4 hours till I see you! 

  very pretty dress. where would I wear it?

Meanwhile he’d returned to piecing random chords on his guitar together. Shawn perked up to see her reply. He quickly held his pick between his lips, picking his phone up to text back. 

From Shawn: afterparty??

also 

4 hours 2 go. . see u soon 

* see you at home 

❤️

Why would she wear something so good to a GRAMMY afterparty? Like yes, don’t get her wrong, they’re important and all, but just like Bong Joon-Ho believed the Oscars were very local, she thought the GRAMMYs had limited taste when it came to artists. Yes, the world would be watching, and this would be her first ever appearance with him as his girlfriend but she didn’t want to stress herself over how she looked or acted. The show hadn’t awarded her man’s album with the recognition it deserved, she hadn’t forgotten. And so, she was treating the GRAMMYs like no big deal, just a slightly big deal. 

She wanted the night to be about him. Even if it would be their first time on a red carpet together, she would not be stealing his spotlight in any way, thank you very much. And if that meant rejecting this gorgeous gown that would make her look like a bronzed angel that descended straight from heaven, then so be it. 

She looked around her office, people returning to their desks from all over, lunch time coming to a close and her time to get back to work coming closer, she needed to tell him why the dress was not happening when Tiffany finally texts her back. 

Dress is sorted. Sending you photos once I put it together, found a way to only give you one outfit for the night :) 

The smile growing across her face should be worrying, really. She messages a quick thank you, you’re the best, Tiff!!! before opening up her chat with Shawn. 

Afterparty dress is taken care of bubs, nothing to worry xx

See you at home 😘

______________________________

When Shawn calls her giddy and breathless, she drops all her work immediately. 

The album, baby it’s done! We just cut the final- yeah it’s my girlfriend hold on- baby we just cut the final song I needed and it’s over just - no we’ll all go out in a few days, yeah? I just really need to be home with her tonight, thanks man, yeah so I was saying, it’s done I’m wrapping up and I’m coming home, jaan. I love you.

 Her good credit in her company allowed her to immediately intercom her boss and say there’s a family emergency, nothing too serious but she needed to head home right away. On the way she picks up whatever she can remember she needs for their meal, a bottle of Cliquot, Rosé, of course, a few slices of his favourite cheesecake and a bouquet of fresh flowers - a colourful mixture Carnations and Lillies and she smiles just thinking about a bouquet so similar given to her when he asked her to be his. 

It’s not until she’s back to the house does she realise that he passed up on drinks with his music friends (yes she does still call them that) for an immediate post album celebration and chose to spend the night in with her. God, could he get anymore perfect. Tonight felt like the night, the night, and if she did manage to pull through with the plan she put together in the short 20 minute drive, it would definitely be a night to remember. 

Entering their home she gets to work quickly, setting the flowers up on their dining table and stowing away the champagne and cheesecake in the refrigerator to cool down. She doesn’t know exactly how much time she has till he gets home, and the dish she felt most prepared to make was Pesto Chicken, having the side dishes in mind already, and body working on auto pilot from there on. 

While her meal bakes in the oven she brings out the fine China, determined to make the real thing look and feel as perfect as the image in her mind. Once the table is set up she moves around the couches in the living room for when they will inevitably end up there to watch something, anything, to end their night, or continue their night, if you know what I mean. 

As she’s fluffing out her blanket next to his, the lights running low and candles lit all over the place, he unlocks the door to let himself in. The smell of a slow roast hits him before anything else, his eyes running over the place to see her as soon as they could. 

She hears him come in before she sees him, hears the sound of his keys jingling and the soft pad of him taking his trainers off. She whips around and practically flies across the room into his arms. He’s more prepared, though, immediately swinging her up and spinning her around laughing freely as she squealed incoherence into his neck. Once he hoisted her up and round his waist he finally grabbed her face to kiss her like she deserved. She hummed into his mouth, wrapping herself around him tighter and finally getting a taste of what she missed these last few days. He smelled like cinnamon and tasted like happiness and love and warmth and she couldn’t seem to get enough. 

In a bit he sets her back on her feet but refuses to pull away from her. She’s giggling against his lips about dinner and a celebration and he’s never felt more loved. He does still manage to keep her in place and kiss her a bit longer, though, and she lets him because it’s what he deserves. 

When she asks why he did not go out with the boys tonight he just shrugs. She offers for him to meet them wherever they are after dinner he just says no again. When she asks why, he says the album they just finished was about her and he needed to spend this night with his muse because it was the only thing that felt right. She was too giddy to bother arguing back. 

She’s already set the table, ready to bring out the food when he shyly asks her if they can go change into their pyjamas. When she says yes and is about to run up to their room to change, he further asks if they can sit on their living room floor instead of their dining table. A small voice in her head reminds her of the time they made out on his living room floor the first time she came over and got drunk. Nothing else had happened that night, and he initially refused to even kiss her for fear of taking advantage of their sobriety or the lack thereof but she convinced him that it would be compensation. In retrospect, she’s thankful that they didn’t take things further because that was definitely a night to remember, the memory still makes her blush. 

When he goes to freshen up in their washroom, she’s changing into her fluffiest pair of pyjamas and an old t-shirt of his. Her pyjamas thankfully came with pockets, and she quickly went over to her vanity and stuffed a tiny packet in. She’d had it for nearly two months now, but tonight was it. 

When they go back down and stuff their faces with chicken, the best in all of North America, babe, as he says, she keeps looking over at him. He finally looks relaxed after months, he’d been frustrated trying to write new songs on the road and when he thought he had things figured out, he jumped straight into the studio to bring them to life. Essentially, he hadn’t given himself a break, which had led to a fight between the two of them. She’d been patient and tried to talk things out so as to not resort to a screaming match, but he refused to listen. Probably the Leo in him. 

The most she could convince him to do was be home before 1 AM. His girlfriend imposed a curfew on him, and he darn well follow it if he still wanted to have a girlfriend. 

Seeing him eat his meal while happily chatting about his day, she kept thinking of how perfect her life felt at the minute. When they popped champagne and he insisted they drink straight from the bottle, she thought of the few flaws of his she’d learned over the years and how she could bear to romanticise them if it meant she got to keep him forever. She couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather be sat with on her living room floor, tipsy off the bubbly and munching on fresh cheesecake, stealing kisses in between. It felt right. 

He looked away from her to check his phone, text his friends back and she sets her phone on the closest console table to record the moment. Crawling back to him, she takes his fork and plate out of his hands and he smirks thinking she’s about to have the first round of the night right there. 

“Starting already, then?” He mumbles as he leans in to kiss up her neck when she scoffs and pushes him away lightly. “chill, horndog, I need to talk to you about something.”

He immediately straightens up, bracing himself for whatever is about to come. She runs her hand through his hair while his eyes cross the length of the room, knowing she sometimes needs a minute to collect her thoughts. When she inhales sharply, he knows she’s ready. 

He turns towards her so she knows she has his full attention, their hands intertwined and hanging between them. She purses her lips, sends a prayer up to God and begins.

“So um, the first time we spoke, I thought you were the dreamiest boy I’d ever seen. Um, I still think you are.” His heart warms at her being nervous, knowing she doesn’t have to be around him and tries to ignore the heat in his face. 

“See, we didn’t really know each other did we? So whatever little image I had of yours in my head was based on small talk and your devastatingly good lo- stop smiling, your below average looks, and how you desperately failed at trying to hit on me, but it it was only a matter of time till we got talking more often when you went away for tour - and I think I really appreciate it sometimes that your tours, like, no matter how long or short they are, they give us a chance to talk, you know?”

He’s not sure where this is going. The confusion is visible on his face but she keeps going. It’ll all be worth it. “Other couples don’t get to have that, Shawn. I know they’re always with each other and I know we’d both appreciate more time together when we’re physically together but being away from you makes me… introspect. It makes me want to learn things about you, it makes me want to know you because there’s never enough things to know about you, and the more I know, the more I love.” She moves closer now, cupping his cheeks and he leans into her hands, still confused as ever but letting her take what she needs from him. 

“After you came back from your first full length tour after we got together, I wrote in my journal that I would never take my time with you for granted.” His heart fluttered a little, writing in her journal meant making promises to herself, and she never went back on them. He’d never read any of her journals, he was nosy, yes, but not invasive. He wouldn’t break her trust like that. He also knew she wrote about him, he’d seen her peaking at him while writing, thinking he wouldn’t notice, but he did, he always did. 

“I’d never really had a serious relationship with anyone before you, you knew that. I mean, I just didn’t think I was special enough to hold someone down, or have my person, it just wasn’t plausible, right? And you know how Khalid said I never had someone to call my own, that was me pretty much my whole life, but then you swooped in with your guitar and you wanted to take me to all your favourite places and make me meet your friends and then you wanted to meet mine and by our third month together you started writing songs about me and I couldn’t believe that someone would want to write a song about me you know? Cause like I’m just me? But you did, a-”

“That was a lie.”

“What?”

“I didn’t write about you for the first time in our third month. I only told you that because I didn’t want to come off too strong, we were still pretty new to each other. But the first song I ever wrote about you was after our first date. Well, I started writing it after our first date but it was completed after you so painfully rejected me after the second one. I moped for a week straight, babe, you were pretty heartless.”

She doesn’t speak for a second, she doesn’t know what to say, really. Her speech that she prepared for this occasion was pretty self derogatory, she realised. And now he was throwing her off kilter, making her forget the script in mind.  “You wrote a song about me after the first time you took me out?” 

“Yeah,” he said resting his hand by her neck now and running his thumb over her cheek. His gaze grew softer, “And now I’ve written two whole albums about you. But they don’t feel enough. I don’t think they ever will be, honestly. I could write a thousand songs about you and they wouldn’t do you justice. I love you more than anything, I think I always have.”

And all of a sudden, she’s forgotten everything she wanted to say. She always did think she got lucky with him, she had a loving, caring boyfriend who respected her wishes no matter what and worked hard come hell or high water to make himself better at his art. She thought about how she was a part of his art, she thought about the one time he said that each time she proved to be his muse, the result was somewhat a tribute to their love. How fortunate could they be to have each other? And now, looking at him in the softest sleep shirt he had, a little loopy because of the champagne after a long day of working hard, there’s so much she wants to say. But the words don’t make themselves known, instead she blurts out - “Marry me.”

He smiles lightly, “Okay.”

“No for real, hold on,” she holds his shoulder to lean up, then steadies herself on one knee, pulling out the Carbon Fibre ring that had her heart since the first time she saw it, a solid black with two thin gold lines weaving around it. Her hand is held up between the two of them so he can see the ring, “Shawn Mendes, will you make me the happiest girl in the world, and marry me?”

Holy shit. He hasn’t proposed. 

It finally pieces together in his head. In this midst of finishing the album and planning the next step for his music, he’d forgotten to propose to her. But he swears he remembers doing it - or was it all in his head? He rushes to stand up mumbling no no no to himself and her eyes follow follow him around, her hand lowering as the fear of the worst takes over. No?

At once his head looks upwards, where their room is, and he runs off. She can’t quite grasp what just happened. She flips the ring over in her hand, finding the tiny engraving of their initials on the inside of the 22K band, thinking of the day she was so happy to have found it, and how it was probably for nothing now. Why would he say no?

They’d talked about marriage so openly, he was the one who kept bringing it up - so why run away now? Was he not ready? Or had he changed his mind? Was it too soon? Or too late? Did he not want marriage anymore? She felt tears sting her eyes - did he not want her anymore? That wasn’t possible was it? He literally just told her he loved her - or did he not actually mean it? Why would he say it if he didn’t mean it? Did this mean they were over now?

She looked over to where she had propped up her phone earlier, the video still recording. She had plans of adding this clip into her next video, after their trip to the Portugal next month. She had wanted to record her proposal instead she may have just recorded their breakup, now that would get her some views, huh?

Upstairs, Shawn let out an aha! finally finding the small velvet box that he had stored away carefully - so carefully that he needed to empty out half his drawer to find it again. He bounded down the stairs, screaming BABY THIS WAS WHAT I WAS FORGETTING only to find her kneeling on the floor right where he left her. She looked small and sad, stray tears finding their way down her cheeks. 

“Baby w-what’s wrong?”

She didn’t notice the velvet box in his hand till he kneeled down in front of her. “I thought you said no… I thought you didn’t want this - what’s that, Shawn?”

He claps a hand over his forehead, frustrated with himself for upsetting her so much and so quick. “I just happen to be stupid, babe, I’m sorry, I forgot to propose.” Then he’s flipping open the box, throwing it back to let it land somewhere on the carpet after having taken the diamond ring out. It’s the exact width she likes, the exact cut she likes, and it is so beautiful. 

“How do you forget-”

“But! I am doing it now! I may be stupid but you’re the one who chose to stick by me so that makes two of us! Please marry me?”

“I asked you first.”

“God, yes that’s all I ever wanted, yes yes - a thousand times, love,” he rushes to kiss her, and she smiles into it again, pulling away and slipping the ring onto his finger. 

He’s the one who’s teary eyed now, a wet smile growing bigger and bigger. “It’s so beautiful, doll, I love you.”  She kisses him again, once, twice, she would’ve done more but he pulls away again. “Okay, your turn now - what’s the answer?”

“Hmm… I don’t know I mean you did forget to propose after all…” he stares at her for a second before saying humming and attacking her with tickles. She squeals out falling to the floor in a fit of giggles, trying and failing to fight him off. “Not gonna stop till you say yes, doll.”

He’s laughing, too, clearly enjoying her misery. He hears her let out a breathy little yes while he’s still running his fingers up her sides. “What’s that? Did you hear something? Because I didn’t!”

“Yes, sheesh YES I WILL MARRY YOU, SHAWN! Please stop!” He pulls her up, quickly slipping on the ring and gathering her in his arms, burying his face into her neck, finally crying out freely. Everything felt complete, finally, he couldn’t wait to start this new stage of his life with her. He was going to be a married man soon, nobody pinch him. 

“Wait,” she speaks, pushing him away a bit so she can see his face, “Is this why you kept talking about the wedding? You were talking about our wedding this whole time?”

“Yes, I know I get it I’m forgetful! I guess, I was so caught up in what was happening and what I wanted that I mixed the two.” He sighs, a little hazy after the sharp turn of events in the night. “Wow, I wish we had recorded this, I can’t believe you thought I said no to you, baby who do you think I am?”

“Already one step ahead of you - say hi to the camera!” She grins, pointing to her phone next to them. He lets out an of course you would and she only laughs in response and he decides that he needs to hear that for the rest of the life if possible. He looks into the camera and sees an image of them both looking like a hot mess, kneeling in the middle of their living room, faces flushed and eyes bright because of the cry fest that just took place. 

“Hi guys, we’re engaged!” And she lets out a yelp showing off her hand to the screen. “Shawn Mendes isn’t my boyfriend anymore, he’s my fiancé! There should be a new filter!”

“Wait, does this mean we get cocoa at our wedding now?”

__________________

taglist: @shawnwyr​ @mendesstories​ @lanallaa​ @sleepybesson​ @rulerofnocountry​ @luvluvxx​ @wholesomemendes

dm to be added or removed ♥️

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[youarejesting]

Missing

Rating: Teen and Up Genre: Mystery, Romance, Drama, Action, Angst, Paranormal. Pairing: ? x Reader Summary: In Bightville there is never any nonsense, the scariest thing one might face is tripping at the roller-disco. But, when you move to the small town, crazy things start to happen. Suddenly people are going missing without any leads. It’s when your neighbour Seokjin goes missing that things get serious because now his friends suspect you!

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Jimin yawned rolling out of bed, he was happy to have gotten some sleep. He was finishing his paper for economics. He had fallen asleep at the desk in his work uniform and sighed, going for a long hot shower Jimin had a knack for being almost always late, so why should he break tradition. 

Looking into his wardrobe he contemplated what to wear while drying his hair with his free hand. “Jimin, you are going to be late again honey,” a sweet old voice called up the stairs. Jimin laughed in response, getting dressed quickly and boundy down the stairs to see his Grandmother.

“I have to be fashionably late gran or otherwise I am just a nobody” He gave a cheeky grin.

“I packed a few extra goodies in your lunchbox, share them with your friends,” The old woman handed Jimin his lunch box and sighed, “Okay, puppy have a good day at school”

“Thanks Gran I will see you tonight okay, I will help make something for dinner okay?”

Jimin took off on his bike towards the school and grinned there was something about today that just felt different. Jimin arrived at the administration to sign in late. 

“Ah mrs moss you wouldn’t believe the morning I had, my bike tire was flat so I had to search the house for the pump as my dear sweet gran moved it so she didn’t trip. Bless her.” Jimin tried his best to charm the woman into letting him go without a scolding, but she didn't look too impressed. 

“And might I add that this shade of lipstick is quite youthful, my if you weren’t a teacher, I would ask you to this saturday’s roller disco”

That did the trick, the woman was flustered enough to right up a late slip and not a ticket for a detention. “Hurry on to class, and stop trying to charm your teachers”

Jimin gave his signature cute smile and went to leave the admin when he heard talking from the principal's office.

“He didn’t come home last night, that's not normal,” The woman pleaded “Our son comes home the same time everyday and last night he didn’t even text or call”

“Alright, the police have been notified and we will ask around if anyone remembers seeing him yesterday afternoon” The principal said “Please trust me we are a small town he couldn’t have gotten far, he will turn up”

Jimin went to leave but the parents exited the office and spotted him, “excuse me son, do you know our boy?” The husband handed out a photo and Jimin looked at the photo and nodded.

“Yes, he is quiet and doesn’t really speak to many people. I sit beside him in art, he is good. He doesn’t have many friends and I know a few people pick on him, and yesterday he fell over in the hall and the new girl helped him.” Jimin tried his best to recall all the events he could, the principal was looking over the parents shoulder, “I had work after that at the diner and then I went home to finish my economics paper which is due today… Oh no I left my paper at home”

“We will talk with the new girl and see what she knows. Thank you so much Jimin for your help. And I will talk to your teacher about your paper, make sure to bring it in tomorrow”

“Yes sir, thank you sir” Jimin ran off and slipped into the classroom with a note, sliding into his desk beside Hoseok and Namjoon.

“Why are you always late?”

“I was in the admin office, talking to the principal. A kid has gone missing Joon.”

“Which one?” Taehyung said, laying his head back onto Jimin’s desk as  he was in the chair in front.

“The outcast,” Jimin said watching all of them frown, “His parents are really upset”

“Could have been a prank gone too far…” Yoongi muttered from beside Tehyung.

“Has anyone seen Jungkook? He didn’t come to school either,” Yoongi muttered from the desk behind Namjoon’s.

“Maybe they eloped,” A feminine voice spoke directly behind Jimin, “I am trying to work here, please keep it down.” They all quit trying to act stealthy and turned in their seats to look at the new girl.

“How is it she looks like a nice person but is actually so rude?” Seokjin muttered beside her and the whole group promptly got detention.

When it was time for detention, the group sat quietly and worked on their assignments waiting until they were free to leave. They each sent glares towards the new student who was called upon by the principal who asked if she had seen the student who had gone missing.

“Do you know this student here?” Jimin listened and assumed the principal showed her the same photo he saw earlier that morning.

“Yeah, I helped him with his books when he fell in the hall and then after school I offered to walk him home as there was kids bullying him but he disappeared”

“Alright that’s detention time over, try not to come back again, this isn’t a daycare” the male teacher sighed from the front of the classroom before promptly leaving.

“Hey, I think we should go check on Koo,” Jimin said and Yoongi nodded

“Put your bike in the back and we can stop by?” Jin said confused and Hoseok jumped in as well, looking nervous.

“There is something strange going on and I don’t like it.” Hoseok shivered in the back seat, side eyeing the empty parking lot.

“I agree, you can’t fart in this town without someone hearing it?” Taehyung called, as he, Namjoon, and Yoongi headed to Yoongi’s car across the parking lot. The oldest waited for the other three to safely enter their vehicle before they all drove off parting ways. They pulled up at Jungkook’s house and Jimin knocked on the door. “Hello miss Jeon, is Jungkook home?”

“Yes he is upstairs, he said he wasn’t feeling well, You can see him if you would like?” Jungkook’s mother was sweet and doe eyed just like her son, who was slowly outgrowing her, soon he would outgrow Jimin entirely.

On that note the three raced up the stairs and pushed into Jungkook’s room, “Jungkook, hey man what is going on?” They saw the young man huddled and wide eyed on his bed, entering further into the place. Seokjin was looking around the room while Jimin and Hoseok checked on Jungkook.

“A kid went missing, you know the outcast?” Jimin said “The parents are desperate for answers, they even asked the new girl if she had seen him.

“What did she say?” Jungkook asked curiously

“She said she helped him but he disappeared”

“I saw them in the alley outside the arcade and afterwork she dumped his jacket in the bin and got into a car.”

“What is this?” Seokjin laughed trying to ease the tension, they all looked. Instantly filled with a sense of dread, his eyes landing on the papers on the desk and the horrific image drawn, the massive long legged creature  with its hollow eyes made Jimin’s knees feel weak.

Jungkook got really quiet and looked at his hands to avoid the picture. “There are things in the dark.”

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[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Midnight Society

Sixth installation of The Hearteyes Zone, a supernatural series of one-shots.

Under the moon, it was a chilly night. The type of chill to sneak up under your skin and chill your bones. The small party of six gathered at the old abandoned graveyard slightly outside of Wakandan borders where four out of six had voted to hold their monthly story time meeting.

"Happy Halloween," Okoye's mischievous dark eyes flashed in front of the campfire's flame where unmarked graves were illuminated.

"Happy Halloween," the group replied as she looked from face to face. Bright red lipstick was smeared across Okoye's white painted face in a smile. Blue triangles shaded her eyes. Her applied wig was sprayed green and she wore an orange pants suit. Each of the six were dressed in costume and most of them were easy to guess. Baku was Prince the African version in his curly wig, white shoes, purple suit and white blouse. The blouse was new, but he'd already had that purple suit, Okoye noted. Nakia, she was obviously Freddy Kreuger in her striped sweater, hat, brown pants, and bladed gloves. T'Challa however, his costume was unclear. He wore suit and his hair was spray-painted grey. "Who are you supposed to be," Okoye asked.

"My father," he replied, body rigid with pride.

"Tuh," Okoye's sarcasm let out before turning to Erik. "And you are?"

"I'm Rick James, bitch!" His wig read Egyptian to her, but otherwise she couldn't say she knew who that was. "I knew y'all wouldn't get it," his eyes rolled.

"I get it, I've seen the gifs," Eliza smiled as Erik's eyes settled on her.

"I take it you're from a horror movie as well," Okoye asked looking at Eliza's black wig braided into two long pigtails. She wore a conservative black collared dress and black tights with school girl patent leather shoes. "Or a period piece perhaps from Europe or the US."

"The Addams Family. It's a US movie franchise."

Erik smiled.

"Let's start with the story on this graveyard," Baku suggested. "Why here?" It was he and T'Challa who had objected.

"Ah," Okoye smiled drumming on a plastic pumpkin in her lap, she lifted out a handful of fine dust sprinkling it onto the flames. "The story of this graveyard is one that I along with Nakia and T'Challa know very well. It is a place of powerful spiritual activity. Be very careful of what you say here. The dead have been known to be vengeful."

"Umakhulu warned me not to come," Nakia shimmied in gleeful rebellion. "This is the site of the Ugandan massacre that occurred 88 years ago. It was during the ritual of blood and animal sacrifice. The Juju sect had their chickens and cursed medallions with plans to manipulate evil forces in the takedown of the Biju village. But one Juju child alerted his young friend of the Biju and that child spoiled the plans. The Juju was slaughtered mid-ceremony right here.. including the young Juju boy," Nakia spoke unblinking as the camp seemed to hold their breath. "This is blood soaked soil," she whispered deliberately.

"Which is why I did not want to disturb it," T'Challa threw his hand up in irritation.

Okoye kissed her teeth playfully. "Oh calm yourself, we've been respectful. Haven't we, Nakia?"

"No false word has gone forth," she blinked with a sly smirk.

"Well I'm freaked out," Erik shrugged. "I don't typically mess with shit like this, my granny was a Baptist."

"I don't tamper with malevolent spirits either," Baku's lips pursed, expression unimpressed. "This one's a true story," he grinned shining his flashlight onto his round brown face turning it a ghastly pale color. "It was a chilly October night, October 28th. Like today.  Karen Taylor was driving a minivan I think it was.. yeah because she had four children, twin girls and two boys, all under 10."

"Did you Google this?" Erik's brow rose. He'd only been part of the story circle for four months but he knew that the objective was to tell scary stories, not tales of everyday unfortunate situations. "A minivan story?" Erik frowned unimpressed.

"I can't lie, I thought the same when I heard 'Karen'," Eliza snickered gently looking at Baku in still humoured apology. Blinking dryly, he continued.

"So the Korean-American Karen is on the road in America and she's driving to her half black half-Korean sister Stella's house to spend Halloween because it's also Stella's birthday and she typically has a large-scale celebration... Well for American traditions anyway."

"Right," Erik comments reminding Baku that an American is present.

"So, Karen and her four children.. They've gotten three fourths of the way to Stella's home which is in a different city and Karen finally looks up into the rearview mirror to see if the kids are asleep because they've been quiet for a while."

"She just now checks," Erik interjects. "She's a horrible parent."

"Erik.... Shut up," Okoye stares.

"Karen looks at each one of her children who are each in the back but something is very strange. They're all wide awake and watching her closely. Karen is shaken by this uncharacteristic behavior. At first she tries to talk to them to figure out their strange behavior. She even asks them multiple times.. why are they staring? But they don't answer. They don't blink or move. It's as if they're barely even breathing. There is only one thing that they do.. and that is smile. Not the smile of children, but the smile of predators in the wild. They are threatening, mocking smiles. Full of fear, Karen begins to make parental threats. No candy, early bedtime. No videogames. No going out ever. She even threatens to turn the van around. They still stay nothing and the car is eerily silent. It gets so silent that Karen is now deathly afraid. She pulls over on the side of the road and turns in her seat. The children's eyes, they look beady and their blinks... they are synchronized. She tries to force them into talking. She pinches them in attempt to make them move. She watches their chests for them to rise and fall. They don't. Her fear increases. She calls Stella to let her know she's pulled over, but Stella sounds surprised to hear from her.. terrified even. "Who is this," Stella asks. Karen says, "Stella... It's me, your sister," and tells her she's on the way over with the kids. The sister goes silent and suddenly Karen's phone beeps with a message. It's a photo from an unknown number.. of her and her kids. They are playing in the living room of Stella's house. "I don't remember this," Karen said trying to place the day. She checked the timestamp. October 28th. "Okay who is this really," Stella asked before yelling at someone in the background. It sounded like she'd named Karen's child, but that was impossible. "Karen, I'll watch Joey. You clean up after Hannah upstairs." "You betcha," a voice replied sending a chill up Karen's spine. It sounded exactly like her. The kids in the background... they sounded like her own children. "Who is that," Karen panicked into the phone. "My sister and her kids," Stella replied. "Whose this?" Karen looked at her kids in the van. They were all smiling. "Stella... I don't know who is in your house but it's not us. I'm parked on the side of the road." Karen exited and backed away from her van as her children grinned unnaturally, watching her leave. "Stella. Please. That's not me. You had a crush on Greg in 8th grade. He told you you were nice but he didn't see you that way. You cried for two days." There was silence on the line. "Stella, my birthmark is on my left ear."  "Hold on," Stella said. Karen waited and when Stella spoke again, her voice was full of pure fear. "Karen?" She whispered.  "Yes! It's me!" Stella began breathing harder. "Karen if this is really you... then who am I looking at?" The line went dead. "Stella? Stella??" Karen left the kids and called an uber to get to Stella's house. Unfortunately, when she got to her sister's house, no one was there. Karen called all over the house, but nothing. Then she saw it... her sister's dead body on the kitchen floor. She was white as a sheet. The police got involved and determined the cause of death to be murder, taking Karen as the prime suspect. Karen admitted to abandoning her kids on the street, but the police told her that she had no kids. It turned out... she'd never had kids."

"So she was crazy," T'Challa's head tilted in confusion.

"Had to be," Erik added.

"Reports showed sanity," Baku smiled.

"Fake," Erik bleated.

"It's true I read about it in a journal of odd police cases," Baku smirked. "Shuri printed and binded them for me."

"What journal? What's the title," Erik challenged. "See it's bullshit."

"Or do you want it to be bullshit," Eliza whispered conspiratorially, Erik squinting playfully in her direction.

"Bullshit," he mouthed. "I need a beer," he yelled standing from his spot on the folding chair and rounded the circle to grab a craft beer from the cooler.

"He's scared," Okoye mouthed to the group when Erik wasn't watching. Baku nodded, aware, and a small humored smile lit Nakia and T'Challa's face. Eliza smiled, thinking it somewhat cute.

"Why don't you give us a story, Erik," Okoye smiled with her eyes following him back to his seat.

"Hm. Y'all want a story from me."

"It's time," T'Challa smirked. "Wow us with your Americanized ghost stories."

"One dark night, there was a panther and a jaguar. The jaguar beat the panther's ass and tossed him over a cliff, how's that?"

"Your tone.. it's very pointed," T'Challa chuckled, amused. "I do know that story and the panther came back to kill the jaguar. Funny how Americans change the narratives of actual events."

"Funny how you missed the part about the panther getting its blackass beat with a tree branch in a graveyar--"

"Enough you two! Time to pass the sand to Eliza. Eliza, you go," Okoye nodded with eye contact. Erik grabbed the pumpkin tossing his handful of sand before passing it to Eliza whose close lipped smile met his gaze.

Eliza adjusted her black twin braids over her shoulders and looked around the circle before giving the tiniest smile, a look of confidence that had the party members' full attention.

"This tale," she spoke slowly, "Is the tale of six people who did not know that they were not real." Her smile spread, as she grabbed her handful of sand and sprinkled it into the fire. "Three strong men and three fierce women, all warriors, gathered at the sight of an abandoned graveyard on soil soaked in the blood of witches," she smirked watching Baku's brows tilt down. "They called themselves The Mystery Society."

Okoye's eyebrows rose in interest and she looked to Nakia exchanging a glance as Nakia wore an expression of playful scrutiny.

"Every month, the six would meet to regale each other with the most horrible and unsettling stories over a crackling campfire. Interesting right? Little did they know that they themselves were characters in a story, their lives, their thoughts, and every waking moment on display to the eyes of readers."

Erik shrugged while T'Challa raised a brow.

"The thing about this story is that it is actually a true story. Neither of the six truly existed as people. The world that they lived in, was not real.. but a bastardization of the real world based on the interpretation of writers. Wakanda.. was not real, but a mythical country created to house these fictional characters. Even more... Every day the six would eat, sleep, drink, speak, and think unaware of the fact that they were never alone. There was always a pair of eyes watching them in their midst vulnerable and powerful moments. In their so-called secrecy. These watchful eyes could read their thoughts which were laid out on paper, read the words in print as they were spoken, visualize their behavior as they acted out what they believed to be destiny. In reality, the story had already been written, their every move already mapped."

"The fuck," Erik smirked, eyes fixed on Eliza. She met his eyes with a smirk of her own.

"The six were completely unaware of the all-seeing eyes that were there, watching, constantly. When Erik cried alone in an apartment in California before retrieving his father's journal from some type of chest, the eyes were there, taking his side."

Erik's eyes emptied of warmth, a chill in them. He'd never told anyone that.

"The eyes saw when Okoye considered death on behalf of the throne. They witnessed the moment when she put loyalty to a leader above loyalty to her country and cheered when she rededicated her heart to Wakanda. "

Okoye stared crytically.

"The eyes were there when Nakia and T'Challa kissed. When he proposed in the market only to be rejected."

"Who told you this," T'Challa's head tilted.

"The eyes, they saw T'Challa when he almost killed a man for vengeance. For his father's sake and memory. He spared that man.

"T'Challa," Nakia whispered. He waved to show her he was indeed fine, although his face was full of confusion and questions.

"The eyes see it all... M'Baku. When you rescued T'Challa from the snow and didn't take the herb for yourself. When T'Challa spared you during your waterfall fight for the throne telling you that your tribe needed you."

"No one could've heard that," T'Challa said softly looking to M'Baku who looked unsure of what to say.

"Is this true," Nakia inquired watching T'Challa, taking her answer from the silence.

"The six did not believe that they were characters in a book because the world felt real. They didn't know that a writer was constructing their story. Every word they said and every movement they made came from the stroke of a keyboard.. a paragraph of text. The six were only alive in idea and that was the truth that neither of them wished to accept."

Okoye squinted uncomfortably as each of the party members looked at each other, exposed. "Where did you learn this about us," she asked.

Eliza smirked as she stood to her feet. Taking the gazes of the group along with her, she walked backwards avoiding raised sticks in the ground. As she stood amongst the graves, the sky began to cloud and fog came down to wrap her in mystery. Faintly, the outline of ghostly figures surrounding her became more and more clear. Eliza began to raise her arms as the dead walked around her.

The five still seated at the fire, sat completely still, on their guard. Terror was etched into their wide eyes.

"You ask where I learned this," Eliza yelled, her voice projecting. She pointed a finger toward the camp and the decayed body of a young boy marched forward, his feet dragging and twisting to take him where he'd been directed. He had a book in hand which he held out, stopping in front of Erik.

Erik's eyes were wide, shock preventing him from moving initially. Overcoming his body, he raised his hands and his forearms moved. Gingerly, he took the book and the boy turned around slowly, dragging himself back into the swarm of the dead surrounding Eliza.

"As you can see," she smiled, "My dear, I'm already dead. But the dead tell no lies dear friends. Read for yourself your beginning and your end."

The dead turned all at once to face the camp and on Eliza's command, they ran forward. The five stood quickly, raring themselves to fight the unexpected battle with wide eyes and raised weapons pulled from hidden places.

Just as Erik swung his sword and Nakia attempted to plunge her blade into the stomach of a man, the hoard vanished into thin air and fog. There was no one left and Eliza was gone.

What remained was the book. Erik stared at it before deciding to lift the cover.

"Stop," Baku called. "It could be cursed."

Erik hesitated, eyes darting to the dirt and back to the book, temptation teasing him. Baku shook his head when Erik caved, opening the book. He read through the first page. It was a manuscript. A story about six people in a graveyard on Halloween telling scary stories.

"All of our names are in this," he said, incredulous. He flipped ahead.

"It has everything we've said... word for... word," he frowned reading the sentence as he said it.

"What? Let me see," Baku peered over his shoulder seeing his very sentence recorded along with his behavior. He backed away, new fear on his face.

Erik flipped ahead to the end, his eyes going wide. "According to this, at the end of this story, the five never truly accept the truth, that they're fictional characters and nothing is real. It would unravel them." As he looked from face to face, the faces looked away.

"I can't deal with this," T'Challa sighed. "Now this is bullshit. I'm going home."

"I'll go with you," Okoye jumped up.

"Good idea," Nakia followed.

Erik looked at the pages. It was all there. Baku took the book from his hand and closed it gently before tossing it. It flew away a good distance, becoming lost in the trees.

"Don't focus on that," he frowned patting Erik's shoulder. "It doesn't matter. Alternate universes are real, but that does not permit you to stop living in your own. Put it from your mind."

Following after the group who were far ahead, Baku walked forward, stopping to turn back to Erik.

Erik remained in the same spot, eyes flitting subtly in the direction the book was thrown. He was very curious.

However, he understood very well what Baku was saying and the importance of those words. Deep down, he agreed. It wasn't smart to tamper with worlds or even the future. Closing his eyes briefly, he took a step and Baku waited to see what he would do.

Baku watched as Erik took step after step in the general direction of the book, saying nothing. And then Erik stopped.. bent down.. and grabbed the cooler of drinks.

With a knowing look, Erik caught up to Baku whose eyes shined. Silently they met up with the others to leave the old graveyard making a pact to never return.

#original #the hearteyes zone #midnight society #black panther fanfiction

[0225pm]

wow the quality of the video really sucks after it has been compressed but well i don’t have a choice!

anyway, i’m moving back to tumblr again mainly cus wordpress sucks and it’s not allowing me to post videos unless i buy their premium plan which is tbh a no cus idk why platforms for blogging should even charge you for the features that they were supposed to have???? also sadly, tumblr also only lets you post 1 video per post limit which is why i’ve put the pics and videos i took into in one but it’s better than not being able to post a video at all.

so it’s our monthsary!!!!

we’ve been officially together for 3 years and 5 months now and wow, i’ve only just realised what a long time that is 😂 honestly, if you want to count how long it has been since we first met each other, it’ll probably be about 8 years now. tho han sees it as 8 years but i see it as 3y5m cus idk who he was back then ya know what i mean? like i know the 3y5m him now than the him 8 years ago.

han sent me his live location as he does so every sat, and i was late. even tho he came all the way to my place i was still late :/ and i was so sorry 😭 i know there shouldn’t be any excuses for my lateness but i have my reasons, even if anyone thinks it isn’t valid :/ so i alr prepared right? like i mentally prepared and visualize what i wanna wear and etc. and so i went to take a shower and all. and then my mom all of a sudden asked me to do things like ordering food for her, clipping her nails, airfrying some sotong balls cus she was feeling peckish. initially she asked me to order food, which i then did but it was immediately cancelled due to the weather. it suddenly rained really heavily. and then while i was in her room drying my hair, she suddenly said she wanted sotong balls which i then went to airfry. and then when i alr did that and continued drying my hair, she then asked me to clip her nails and i was like “i’m going out ibu later farhan will be waiting for me alr” and she was like nvm la it will only take a while. so i did that and then i had to just rush cus i checked his live location and he was alr nearing tenaga area which is so damn close to my place alr. then i quickly picked out the outfit i wanted to wear. i mean come on, it’s our monthsary and i wanted to dress up right and i alr had this mental image of what i wanna wear right? so i took it out, wore it and then i realized that it was still a bit rainy??? like kinda drizzling so i figured he’ll be coming up first to wait till the rain totally stops but he texted me asking me to come down instead. and at this point i was sweating profusely. yeah, it was rainy but i was feeling so warm from rushing and doing so many things at once. oh ya, i was wearing this satin white shirt with shorts and that was my initial outfit like it looks laidback and casual and effortless but i decided to change cus i was perspiring and it felt so uncomfortable wearing a satin material when you’re perspiring like heck!! so i ended up wearing my fav tee with the same shorts and brought my hoodie along. it’s also my fav hoodie from uniqlo. i think their hoodie quality is bomz it’s not too thick or too thin and i wanna buy more but maybe wait till they have sales or something. so i ended up just looking super hobo as heck like it just looks like i didn’t even bother to dress up and i felt sad but i didn’t want han to be waiting even longer.

so when i went down he was alr sitting at the seats at the void deck and i can feel anger radiating within him lol like i knew he was mad and he still had his helmet on and his rain jacket on and all. and then he gave me different options of where to go for our lunch and then i just sat there pondering for a bit. and then i asked him if he wanted to put the jacket and pants at home but he didn’t want to so he took it off and then put it on the table and he took off his helmet as well. and then i asked him if we could eat at genki and he told me that genki was one of the options that he forgot to list so we decided on genki! his anger didn’t last long and as he stood up to head over to his bike i went to him and open up my arms cus i just wanted to hug him lolol then at first he tried to act all “ew” and moved away but he ended up hugging me anyway hehe and then don’t want to let go lol so bobo so cute. honestly i’m still shy??? around him wtf. like when i initiated the hug itself i felt so shy loooooollllll and when he didn’t wanna let go it made me blush wtf but ofc he can’t see cus we have to wear the stupid mask bc of stupid covid. i hate it wtf my face is so sensitive and it’s breaking out bc of having to wear the mask so my skin can’t breathe. like what’s the point of me not wearing makeup underneath the mask when i still break out anyway right zzz hais. ok sorry side track a bit but ya hahaha so then i told him i wanted to show him something!!! and then he was like “eh eh who said you let go” or was it “who said you can stop hugging” but it’s either one la hahaha then i took his hand and pull down my mask and then kissed his hand 😂 then i told him to look and i said “no transfer”!!!!!! hahahahaha cus i was wearing this lipstick and wtf man the formula is damn amazing really didn’t transfer anywhere at all. i even kissed my own hand and i even drank water but not transfer AT ALL. it was a gift i got from two years back i think hahaha for my bday from rai, a kylie kit and i haven’t worn it out before mainly bc the color didn’t suit my skintone cus the shade felt so light but when i wore it this time it felt like the shade was darker somehow? idk if i became pale from staying at home all the time or idk lol but i like the shade now 😌

oh at first i didn’t wanna go to tampines cus we always go to tampines hahaha and i guess i made a face and han teased me about it lol as much as it annoys me it’s a good kind of annoying? 😂 cus he’s so cute whenever he teases me in that way lolol but we ended up just heading to tampines anyway cus he wanted to save up on petrol also and i thought ok ya cus he has to work now and he has to go to and fro everyday so it’s better for him to save the petrol as well. i put on my hoodie and then we went to the usual parking spot at tampines. and then bc both of our masks were down i could actually kiss him hehe. and then from there we walked to the front entrance of the mall cus of this covid there’s only one in and out entrance but entering was a breeze tbh cus even tho there was a long line, we didn’t have to wait long.

then we went up to the escalator. and genki wasn’t crowded at all either so that was great!!! we did the safe entry thing, got our temperature taken and got our seats. then we ordered some food hehe. i was excited cus lol i love genki. not as much as i love my bf but if i have to choose an express sushi shop i would choose genki 😂 i wanted something soupy and filling so i got their beef udon since i alr had their duck udon the previous time we went there. and then i got a drink and chawanmushi as an appetizer. i love their chawanmushi as well and it’s something i will always get. i used to buy their clams miso soup but since it was taken out of the menu, i got their chawanmushi instead. and i was so happy when han decided to try the chawanmushi!!!!! i’ve always knew him as someone that wasn’t into eggs but he actually liked this one!! and he even ate the prawn and the naruto/japanese fish cake when i fed it to him omg 😭😭😭 i was legit so happy wtf hahahaha and then his fried squid came, also one of the hot foods i will always order but usually i’ll get it if i didn’t buy any of the udon. but since i alr got the udon i didn’t order it. and then his mini chicken teriyaki don came and lol the bowl was rly so mini ahahaha i wish i took a picture of it but i didn’t. but it was worth for the price of $4 i think since it was actually filled to the brim. there was even slices of tamago in it. he fed me a spoonful and it was nice!!! i’m gonna try that next time i go to genki if i’m feeling like eating rice 😂 i like udon cus of the chewy texture of the noodles and the soup. and then a plate of mentaiko fries came 🤤 there was A LOT of mentaiko on it it was so amazing and i was so surprise cus i didn’t order it but at the end of the day han said that he saw that i didn’t order the fries so he ordered it for me 🥺😍 so sweet hais and i really enjoyed it. i love genki’s mentaiko sauce it’s so damn goooooodddddd. so salty so nice. and then my udon came hehe and i devoured it. i fed han some too and gave him one of the fish cakes cus i think they made a mistake and put two pieces. the udon was so good i love it hahahaha. and then han ordered a seaweed roll, 2 more beef sushi and 1 mentaiko salmon for me hehe yes i know how to eat salmon now!!!! but it must be seared. i still can’t eat raw ones unless i rly dipped it in soy sauce or if it’s cut super thinly then maybe can try 😅

then after we finished eating, we went up to see if we can catch a movie. i wasn’t sure if we’re allowed to sit together so i asked him to ask first if we have to be separated and yay we don’t have to separate!!! so we decided to watch train to busan 2: peninsula. since we alr watched the first one together and there wasn’t much movies that were showing so we decided to catch the 5:10pm slot. it’s been so so so long since we last watched a movie tgt so this was nice. we didn’t get anything to eat since we just ate and i was still full but we had some time so we went to fairprice and got some candies. then farhan bought a root beer slushy which turns out to be scam!!! cus it’s just ice and it was practically solidified even after the movie was over it didn’t even melt much within 2 hours wtf. and then he also got a hotdog bun 😂

the movie was great. not as great as the first one cus the first one was definitely much more impactful but this one was not too bad. a bit too much “racing” scenes but i guess it’s to keep its audience on the toes. the storyline is a bit meh as well but i guess the suspense from some parts made up for it. it’s quite tragic though.

and then after the movie, i asked han if he still wanted pizza but when we saw the queue there was still a bunch of people waiting for their orders. even some foodpanda and grab delivery riders were waiting so i told him we’ll just order in and at first he was like we’ll see how but i ordered anyway. then we went out to head home and han finally lighted a cigarette. hahahaha he actually had to suppressed his desire to smoke cus we didn’t have time since i chose the earlier slot for the movie and im so proud of him for being able to suppress the feeling and yet not turning into a cranky momok.

while on the way back, he wanted to top up some petrol so we stopped by spc and then he wanted to top up his cashcard so we had to go one big round from the carpark to where he can top up his card but the machine is stupid!!! and he got upset cus he wasn’t able to top up his card. i think he still prefers the card with chip reader than the contactless ones. so then we decided to head to 7-11 so he can purchase one with chip but they ran out. so we decided to find another petrol station cus he said usually it’s being sold there too. so we did and this time round i guess i was being cranky cus the seat of his bike was eating into my skin and it hurts like heck so i told him to just top up the card since they don’t have the chip ones and he needed to top up anyway but then in front there was another petrol station and apparently they had a chip + contactless card there and i think they only accepted cash for it so he came out and then went in back and bought one there. and i was still cranky lol and i was perspiring so much both from my scalp to my body and it was drizzling too so all i wanted to do was head home so i got upset and i lashed it out on him when we made our way back cus he kept trying to make a joke out of the pain i felt and it just triggered me cus it’s like he doesn’t understand how much it hurts??

but it’s not his fault. cus i’m the one that chose to wear shorts even tho i know how much it hurts when i sit too long on the bike. and then he said he’ll cut the netting off but i was like no wtf. cus 1, we don’t meet everyday which sucks but ya we don’t and thus i’m not the one sitting on the back of his bike everyday so having to sit one day out of the week doesn’t bother me as much as having to sit on it everyday ya know what i mean? and 2, the parts that are still protected which is probably about 90-80% of the seat is still useable so it’ll be able to help protect the other areas from getting damage by the claws of cats.

and then when we got back, he wanted to pass his gummies to me but no one in this household eats gummies or candies. my mom can’t even eat sugary content cus of health, my dad isn’t a fan of gummies or candies he much prefers chips and chocolates and my brother too prefers chocolates or ice creams. i don’t like sugary content either but unless it comes from cakes or pastries or ice creams or chocolates so rly, no one is gonna eat it. and then he got mad at me and all i could hear was “you do to me can but when i’m doing it to you cannot” and i didn’t get what he meant by that tbh so i just kept quiet all the way till we’re home. i quickly took off my hoodie, changed into a more comfortable shorts went to take a piss and then went into my room. i sat down for awhile in front of the fan cus i was sweating so much and then i cooled down before i apologized to him and then asked him if he was still upset. i tried to get him to explain what he meant but couldn’t get anything out of him cus he just prefers to sweep it under the rug whereas i like to talk about it so i can see what i did wrong or which areas i have to improve or change so it can better our lives ya know but he’s not like that and i have to understand it so i just kept quiet and then i kissed him and stroked his face and hair a little.

and then he asked me if the pizza was here and i said ya hahaha it’s alr in the kitchen and whether he wants me to take it so he was like yes and as i was going to take the pizza he grabbed me and hugged me tight and i just instantly melted. it was genuinely hot lol i like this kinda shit hahahahaha but i’ve always felt afraid that i was gonna hurt him with my weight so i didn’t dare do anything that will shift my whole weight onto him but he didn’t care and he said it doesn’t hurt 🥺 haissss

honestly going home was all i was looking forward to. it’s not bc i’m horny lol or maybe that’s one of the reason but it’s mainly bc i just want to lay in his arms and just cuddle and give him kisses and also receive kisses. i’ve missed him all week long and we haven’t really been able to talk much since he’s working and he’s always tired when he gets home but it’s good that he’s working hard for his future and for our future.

and then the time for him to head home came. a truly saddening end of the day and he left a little later than usual but i’m just glad he got home safely and didn’t get lectured for being home a little late.

#adaywithhan #julywithhan

[shiro-ai-writes]

Prompt: Finding a baby in your doorstep on a winter morning (Rebirth scenario test)

A spin off with my OCs so that test out scenes for my other more important stories... I call it a prompt but it’s actually all of the research that I had collected in a fun little side story :D

For this one, I have my first ever OC, Aestia Goldlink

Some additional information (that I had marked for my own benefit, but I thought would be fun to add):

Location: a mansion/estate

Scenario: home alone(ish), she's 27+, her place since she's well to do, finds baby when putting out milk bottles

All that said, enjoy.

She squirmed when the pin prick of light peeking through her blackout curtains reached her eyes. She turned, curling into herself and snuggling into the fluffiness that was her rich cotton sheets before sighing in relief. She chased after the sleep that had threatened to escape her but quickly gave up after what felt like half an hour of half-hearted unconsciousness.

She sat up, eyes still closed, stretching her arms far back with her body contorting into quite the tight arc. With a tiny grunt accompanied by an inelegant series of pops and cracks and a sigh, the woman blinked blearily as she slipped off the bed, yawning as she went.

Only to freeze the moment her bare feet touched the wooden panels that was her floor.

In an action that was almost too quick compared to her stiffened state, she jumped onto the thin rug she had by her bed, any last remnants of sleep batted away into space in her haste. Her toes and feet curled into themselves. So cold! She thought, and she scanned the ground for her slippers.

It took a while—partly because she refused to take even a step out of the square that wasn't the winter-chilled floor—but she finally located her slippers, camouflaged brown puffy ends sticking out from under her disheveled duvet. Idly, she debated putting on a pair of woollen socks but decided to leave the thought for after she freshened up.

So she went about as usual and if she soaked her feet in some hot water in the bathtub, no one can fault her.

Settling down on her dresser, she continued her routine of creams and powder. After swipe of lipstick in a decidedly neutral tone of red, she fished out a pair of long socks from the drawers beside her as well as the accompanying calf garters.

She pulled them on and clasped the last garter right when the grandfather clock down the hall chimed nine, telling her that this morning's milk would be here in another quarter or so. Just enough time for her to change and gather up the bottles she had washed the night before.

First her blouse, thick and soft, lightly starched to perfection. Then her skirt, thicker than she would usually have opted for but at her preferred length with no one able to judge her conservative tastes because of how cold it was. She forgot how soft it was—she hadn't had many opportunities to wear it—as expected of merino wool, softest as wools go. It was really warm too. The more she felt at it the more she was fascinated by it. I really should wear this more, she thinks, humming. This grey really goes well with this particular shade of cream. Wonder if it will look as good with my other blouses.

"Oh! Almost forgot." She muttered and rushed to fix herself and grabbed her dressing gown.

She near-dashed—because dashing is uncivilized—down to the kitchens and picked up the basket filled full with five little glasses packed neatly, thanking past her to have had the presence of mind to have done so last night.

From there, she began to stroll to the front gate, where hopefully she didn't have to wait or make the David, hardworking man he is, wait too long in this dreadful weather. She was halfway there when a small breeze blew by and she began pondering if she should have taken a little longer to grab one of her larger coats. Right now all she had against the frigid air was a warm skirt and a thin dressing gown. Not really ideal for facing the weather that decided to instantly become freezing when just yesterday it had been warm enough for short sleeves.

At least it isn't snowing yet, she sighed.

Upon seeing the the cloud of her breath frosted over, she pulled the gown tighter over her shoulders. She sped up, wincing a little as dry leaves crunched under her boot. Internally, she notes down to tell the gardener after to sweep after she returns. Normally, it would be the butler's job to clear the leaves but John was on holiday, a well deserved one and to visit family overseas, so she'll delegate it to the gardener for the time being. The man hasn't much else to do otherwise with all the plants all shed and ready for winter. Goodness gracious, even the ones in the greenhouse were prepping for the chill... Such thoughts and others of a similar vein kept her occupied that she might have gotten herself a face full of metal bars.

Might have.

If it wasn't for what she saw that stopped her.

Sitting there, right on edge of her gate, was wicker basket. She stepped closer, brows rising slowly on her forehead and head tilting unwittingly.

It wasn't a basket.

But a cradle.

And a baby.

Her hands flew to her face, glass bottles jostling as the basket in the crook of her elbow swung. Warm fingers met cold cheeks and she scrambled to unlock the gate. How long has this poor child been left here? The cold metal bit at her palms when she pulled the gate back but she ignored it in favour of grasping at handle of the cradle.

The chill of the wood handle burned her more than the gate bars did. And the cold air burned her throat as she took in a sharp breath, eyes wide and unseeing. The child, its lips, they were so blue. Its face so pale, it was as if it had no blood. Cold. The child must be so cold. She tore off her dressing gown, tucking the thin bit of additional warmth into the basket. Then she realised something.

There was no cloud.

A strong gust of wind blew.

The child, it...

Her hand stuttered as she reached towards under the baby's nose. Deep inside, she didn't want to for fear that she would be met with the worst possible outcome. Her lips pulled itself thinner and thinner the longer she couldn't feel anything on her chill-reddened digits. She was praying to whatever God there was out there that it was just her fingers and not any other dreadfulness. Finally, a tiny tickle of sensation graced her index, one she would have definitely missed had there been even the smallest of winds. She let out a breath she didn't know she held and pressed her fingers down to the small gap between the loose blanket and the child's neck, checking for a pulse.

When she was suitably satisfied by small and weak but consistent thumps, she scooped up the basket and powered back to the mansion for fear of jostling the wain.

Though her gate was left wide open and the basket of bottles laid messily on the ground, that was the last thing she could be concerned with in this moment. David, he's a good man, he can be trusted to exchange the bottles left out. She would just have to take another trip out to collect them later, is all.

When she burst through the nearest door, she was met with a loud yelp followed by the clatter of something fumbling its way down to the ground. She resisted the urge to look towards the noise, instead focused on making her way to the kitchen where she knows has a fire roaring in its hearth, as it does everyday.

"Milady-" the maid started but stopped short.

"Not now." she called out curtly and marched on.

Legging through the door as much as is allowed, she turned sharply trying her best to not shake the basket.

It took a while, even if she was running with all her might, to get to the kitchens, having had to cross several hallways  before she reached. Maybe she shouldn't have been so hasty to get inside the house. But there was a definite change in temperature when she entered so she deemed it fruitful since the child need not stay in the cold for any longer��few minutes or not. She couldn't bear the thought of circling around to the back door of the kitchens she came out of.

Anywho, there it was, the hearth! She quickly put the cradle by it. And slumped down to the ground, huffing and puffing. Only to then realise that she was being stared at by her chefs and a footman.

"M-milady! What is-" the footman began when a second voice cut in.

"Milady Goldlink! What in the world has possessed you! You ran like the devil himself was after you." The maid sputtered worriedly.

"Sorry Pristine," the Lady said sheepishly, still slightly out of breath. She looked over her at maid, whom was living up to her namesake with not a single hair out of place after what? Running from the front end of the building to the back. She wasn't even out of breath. Why, if it weren't for the faint sheen of sweat decorating her forehead, Lady Goldlink would have thought she had just come in from the storage room next door.

Then again, she could argue that she ran more and harder, and it completely was not because she was utterly out of shape.

With a final intake of warm air that felt like honey being smoothed over her cold burned lungs, she continued.

"Could I get some hot water and towels?"

At the quizzical look on her staff's faces she dragged the basket onto her knee as she took a seat onto a stool one of the chefs drug out for her.

"That's... Milady that's... Is it?" the footman stammered, brows knotted together, seemingly having caught on to what her package was.

"Yes, it is."

She flipped open the flap of the basket.

There was chorus of gasps followed by silence.

Then a flurry of motion to get the things she requested and more.

Amongst the chaos, she found that the baby basket had been relieved from her grasp and a warm cup of tea replaced the spot between her hands. She watched as all the servants present halted all they were doing then to bustle about tending to the near frozen child.

She watched quietly as the footman twirled about the kitchen tending to various things at once and chewed on her lip. She couldn't quite put a name to his face for some reason. Maybe he's a new hire? But at the sight of the young man lifting the baby tenderly out of its icy prison made her decide to pursue the thought later.

The child was wrapped in a makeshift cot of cloths and the head chef was pressing wet towels to the baby's face. And oh, was it such a tiny thing, face growing utterly red and painful looking. In the background, she heard the footman coordinate the maids to prepare a place for the wain as well as to send for a doctor. For a new face, he was so well adjusted to lead, she wondered if she give the man a raise or a recommendation for a butler’s position when the time comes. The young man’s ability would be wasted as a footman… And, any excuse for her to pile more work on John was always a plus in her books.

Somewhere along the line, between sips of her sweeter than usual tea, a blanket had been draped over her shoulders and Pristine leaned over her, saying, “We need to get you all warmed up now, drink up Milady, we have plenty more."

Other than that, she assumed the standing orders the Lady of the house had, which were to sit and look pretty as John liked to nag. And oh, would he be giving her a good lecture if he were here, no doubt for leaving the house in unsuitable attire, without an escort or doing menial tasks on her own instead of being waited on.

She simply didn't see the point of having servants for such frivolous reasons. It's not like she couldn't dress herself well enough and she needed a reason to stretch her legs in the mornings. It wasn't that hard to collect by herself some milk—oh right the milk! She had completely forgotten.

It should be by the gate which was wide open since she left it as is in her haste. Seeing that everyone's attention was on the child, she put down the cup and sneakily turned to get off the tiny stool only to come face to face with Pristine squatting beside her, eyes rapt on the chaos. A basket full of milk resting on the ground

Right. Of cour—

"Green room's ready!" A clean voice called over and the baby was swiftly cradled in the arms of one of the maids and hustled off by the footman. All the maids present, of which there weren't many, followed after swiftly. In an instant, the din was replaced by the deafening ring of silence.

Lady Goldlink made to stand up and Pristine—quick as ever—hooked an arm under hers to help. She looked towards the cooks and began,

“Mrs Ramirez, Cora, Bella. I’ve interrupted your breakfast preparations for your help. I thank you sincerely for you readily assistance a-”

A short cacophony of ‘of course’s and ‘always’s as well as a pat on the shoulder from the cook had her grinning brightly. And the dry ‘being all upright and proper doesn’t suit you at all lassie’ that followed sent her giggling hopelessly and dropping her sad attempt at lady-ing.

“Well, I’m glad to be able to enjoy your continued service, my chefs.”

Nodding at their bows, she made her way out of the kitchen.

She started towards the green room but a certain handmaid of hers still had an iron grip on her elbow.

"Now milady," she started, "you don't have anything on your schedule today, but I suggest you get started on some paperwork. John tasked me to make sure you're done on time."

"John... He…" She sputtered.

"Now now, I'm sure it be quick work.”

“Unbelievable!"

And she was dragged, ahem, assistedly brought—with completely no resistance—to her office.

She sighed when she saw the stack in her tray and then again at the sight of a bigger stack beside it.

Damn you John.

#My writing #me writing #writing #writeblr #original character #original writing #original work #original story #story #short story #oc #scenario #test #prompt #Aestia Goldlink

[rgr-pop]

On New Year’s Day this year I was putting away all my makeup from the night before (big night for makeup) and I decided that I would put all the makeup I use in a bag until the bag fills up, to see what I actually use. Well, color cosmetics, by which I mean non-base products, which is not what “color cosmetics” means but I’m my own boss. And this isn’t really everything, just stuff I wore out or to see people--which, to be fair, I don’t like to wear makeup unless I’m gonna be seen, and I don’t photograph my face anymore, so. Not bad for a shut-in though! I am ready to put my things back in order and reflect! Ft. night photos. 

What’s shown above is just the stuff I reached back into the bag for over and over again (cheating? I am my own boss, remember), and stuff that featured in some of my best or most memorable looks this year. The rest will follow. 

As you can see I leaned into pantone candid coral, lol, but coral is, always, my primary color for everything on my face. I had really imagined to use coral with a lot of grey lavenders, and I’m pleased to say I returned to that over and over again and came into loving it. It’s the classic for me. I had also planned to do a lot of coral + gold and coral + periwinkle but I rarely did!

COMMENTARY AFTER THE CUT even though I think you should be forced to read it

The original UD Naked palette @laskyjedneplavovlasky​ handed me down to keep me from buying it when it got discontinued just because it is now Retro and she knew I’d regret it. I like it! I’m gladder I didn’t spend money on it! The thing about me is that I don’t know how to wear or use “neutrals,” so I am learning and growing more with this palette than anything else I have. I expect we’ll see some interesting developments over the next few weeks. As for shimmery neutrals, I still think UD has the best, and I’ve long been a Sin fan. I use this Sin--I have it in like three other palettes--wet. My favorite thing to do with it is to wet a brush--weirdly I love the one that came with this thing--and use it to lay sin vertically down the center of my lid going over the crease, so it looks like actual silk.

NYX Ultimate Mult-Finish palette in Sugar High. These palettes are underwhelming for the price (didn’t I gift you a different colorway of this @madmoths​? do you agree that it’s finnicky?) but the shades here are too ideal and I use some combination of them constantly. If I were some “one palette only” rich bitch I’d get whatever the Nars equivalent of this is and just be like that forever.

Some other coral bits: Nars Orgasm blush, Benefit ultra plush lip gloss in Coralista (I still love these to death! you can’t get them!), Stila watercolor blush in Water Lily (another great thing you can’t get anymore but if you covet it it’s just a knockoff of many Korean products). That blush is Model Co’s blush cheek powder in Peach Bellini, it only recently went back into circulation because I had to repress it after breaking it four the literal third time but I could not find my alcohol spray bottle for umm two months. This is one of the nicest blushes I own just in terms of beauty and application, I need to see how long it lasts to be able to determine whether it’s top five. Happy to see you can still buy it.

That cream palette is an ancient Stila lip and cheek palette that I am determined to use “up” this year. Still smells and works great. I’ve been using those corals, obviously, but I’m reminded now how gorgeous that plum is. I didn’t really lean heavily into my black cherry victorian winter look, like I normally do, so maybe for spring? I’m thinking the next wave is black cherry + dark green for spring. Maybe with... mustard? Will report back.

That Colourpop eyeshadow is Erotic, one of the first products I ever got from them, miraculously still functioning although I can tell it’s kind of on its last legs. I need to use it up, I mean, I’m going to use it up, because it’s one of my favorite eyeshadows ever. I am hunting a perfect dupe! That shade is precisely the coral that I mean when I talk about coral.

Colourpop’s Chasing Rainbows palette. I never would have picked this out for myself but Lucas got sucked into a display at Ulta at Christmas and thought this was very cool, and, he was right? It’s so nice and I really recommend it. But I’m sure you can tell what I’ve been using most... I think if those teals had been something else (a baby blue?) and there was one more slightly shifty shimmer in a translucent base, this would be a basically perfect palette. 

That Huda sapphire palette is....we’re trying to work it out. I am trying to like it at all. (I actually love the silver glitter that temptalia gave an F, lol. She rates on claims but if you use it with only your fingers and a tacky tacky base it looks very neat on the lid.) 

I’ve had a rocky relationship with that MUFE palette (for a minute I thought it was the only thing temptalia had ever steered me wrong on!) but I’ve really come around on it. I use that suite of purples all the time and they are very luxe and dreamy on me, even if I wanted them to be opaque “colors” when I got them. I also use that blush in the center as a “transition shade” to blend out the edges of anything else I do with this palette.

I forgot to open that little TheBalm single, it’s a promotional single (lol!) from their Nude Dude palette. I can’t imagine spending money on the fucking TheBalm schitck, oh my god. This thing is a beauty though, a really nice purpley nude that was almost made just for me. I just cannot, no matter what I do, work any kind of “nude” into my every day life. I can’t. I want to pan this but..  I will not.

The tiny tube is a Bare Minerals Marvelous Moxie lipstick in Get Ready. This was some kind of free birthday gift years ago? I never wore it because it is marginally “nude” so I did not learn until after they discontinued it that it is the best! I would buy a full size of this! (Well, I like the shade well enough--it’s really more of a medium pink than a nude--but I’d likely look for something bolder if I did.) It feels and smells almost exactly like the nicest Tom Ford lipsticks. I will have to try their new lipstick line--but their shit is all nude now! They have such nice formulas of dumb fucking nude everything!!

Colourpop Flexitarian highlighter is my favorite highlighter. The hurus are not lying! Below that is Anastasia’s Aurora palette--for ages I used the green all the time, but I’ve been using the peach-pinks and purples a lot more, as you could guess. I’m really aching for a straightforward pink highlighter. Then we have THE MAYBELLINE PUMA HIGHLIGHTER. What is it actually called? Chrome Highlight in Knockout. I cannot remember anything before this highlight. See, I know a lot of people like this line, but I had never been driven to try them, and I only got this because I got sucked into the whole thing, and I am strongly undisappointed. It’s not exactly unique but unique to my collection, and is the only kind of gold like that I have, and it has a slight rosy-purple base that is perfect for me and for the coral-lavender thing I’ve been doing. 

In the lower right corner is a little bit of a pink look--nothing new for me, I use that hot pink NYX Primal pigment all the time and have for years. It’s not the very best on the market but it’s buildable and the absolute perfect pink, so I’d say it’s probably the best for the price. The lip products are newer to me, a NYX “Slide On Glide On” lip pencil in Disco Rage (!) that Lucas got me for Christmas, which is great? Turns out the $10 lipliner is nicer than the $3 lipliner? Hate that! And a lipstick from a recent limited edition Revlon glitter collection in SE purple tubes--I had a very Collector moment about these and had to have one. This one 100 Watts Pink. I really kind of want more but I have restraint (a glittery pink is practical and everyday wearable!), that shit is getting expensive... HOWEVER! This reminds me that I fell back in love with some other Revlon Super Lustrous lipsticks, particularly FIRE AND ICE (!), thanks to temptalia revisiting them this year. Where did I put that?...

The colourpop super shock shadow on the bottom is Daddy. One of my best looks this month was, well, I had planned something entirely different but I put on youtube while I was getting dressed and Chloe Morello posted this so I had to reroute. She looks unbelievable, it’s a great look. This took a lot of building but it looked so fucking good, I wore it with the CP blue mascara (below), cobalt + bright lavender is a very good combination.

There are some more greige lavenders down there, Revlon’s Illuminance cream shadow palette in Wild Orchids--this maybe doesn’t wear that long but as an...item? concept? it’s one of my favorites ever. That glitter tube is a J.Cat holographic 3D eye topper thing, the shade is Unicorn Hype. I have two of these and would buy more. This was Tati’s influence! I love this brand and like this product, still wanna get the mousse ones but they were always sold out when she was hyping them last year. This one is, however, starting to get a slightly concerning chemical smell that will probably not keep me from putting it on my eyelids.

Aaaand... imho the product of the year is this CP mascaras. I got the red and the blue. IIRC the red is a little finnicky and the blue wears very nicely but they are by far the most vibrant and pigmented and beautiful colored mascaras I’ve ever used and I could not recommend them more highly. I especially adore the blue for all the time wear but I do think other brands have come out with great blue mascars. But what are you gonna do.... pick up some other red mascara? You’re not! (Well, I’m hoping the impact of these trickles down!!) You don’t need a white base under these at all, and they are definitely more of a volumizing and clumping formula vs. lengthening. 

#makeup #color stories

[plantdaddyk]

tagged by: @bigsweatersandgreentea

(thank you n I’m sorry for being so late)

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

relationship status: taken by my lovely Fire Lion

chapstick or lipstick: chapstick, I didn’t have any during winter so I was dying but now I use it everyday. It’s nothing special, just some uv resistant stuff, but I’d love to test out flavorful kinds, probably eat them all tho

favorite colors: GOLD AND GREEN, ugh, I love gold and rose gold, I love all shades of green but esp the light, succulent, shade with the beautiful succulent violet. Black too, oh maroon/ burgundy, god I love so many

last song you listened to: Probably “The Other Side of Paradise” by Glass Animals or “Goddess” by Cobi

last movie you saw: Black Panther with my Fire Lion and a blast from the past buddy, and I have to say, IT'S FUCKING AMAZING YOU HAVE TO SEE IT KILLMONGER IS THE BEST LIKE I WOULD SUPPORT HIS DREAMS TILL THE END OF MY LIFE N I DON'T REALLY SUPPORT T'CHALLA'S ISOLATIONIST ASS. But anyways, the movie is actually beautiful, go watch it.

top three tv shows: How I Met Your Mother, but its a bad rep of nyc bc the show is just so whitewashed. Uhm, does J and J’s Kitchen count, bc i love watching Jenna n Julien, esp their cute ass cooking videos. The Twilight Zone!! I love it so much!!

i’m currently reading: I got this book mainy bc it looks fucking beautiful, amazing cover art, n its Gay, havent started reading it but it’s called Day Dreamers by Jonathan Harper

I tag obviously anyone who wants to be involved, but to list a few off the top of my head @harlemsgayest bc you need to post someThing, also some favs n some cool cats @hygge-dansk @crypticdatesuggestions @micapathy @badthoughtshere @the-seedling-witch @hoodwitchbitch @smuttyfang @incorrectgreekquotes

#ask #asks #answered ask #answered asks #personal

[sharingisbeauty-blog]

[Review] Catrice Cosmetics on Full Face Makeup

First of all, welcome to this blog~ And this embarked my first post ever on this blog, which will be about make-up products by Catrice Cosmetics. Now for those who haven’t been familiar with this brand, it is a German brand under Cosnova Beauty which is also a home of other brands such as essence and L.O.V.

This is my first (how many times have I mentioned the ‘first’ word here umm) time trying out this brand as well so why did I decide to do this as my first(dammit) post? Because they’re not pricey (YASSS! bought everything for less than IDR 647k / $49 USD) and they seem okay (yup what a convincing reason). Although this post is made by me, but my sister was doing the favor for the whole makeup and review.

Well, without further ado... Let’s jump onto the makeup!

FACE

~> FOUNDATION ( HD Liquid Coverage Foundation )

claims to give 2nd skin effect with high coverage & texture giving off natural finish with 24 hours lasting power, has a total of 4 different shades

Mine was in shade 010 / light beige and bought it for IDR 108k (~$8) which was quite an okay price for a liquid foundation. My sister and I both have oily-combination skin type so this foundation pretty much does its job by giving off matte finish.

Pros

suitable for oily skin (matte finish)

easy to blend

natural finish

doesn’t feel heavy on the skin

nice packaging (pump is luv)

for super dry skin, no need to layer with finishing powder

long-lasting (but definitely not for 24 hours as they claimed to be)

Cons

doesn’t cover as well as it was claimed

offers narrow range of shades (only 4)

Do we recommend this foundation? If you have oily-combination skin like us and on a low budget, then yes.

***

~> CONCEALER ( Re-Touch Light-Reflecting Concealer )

for radiant eyes and a fresh looking appearance with light & creamy texture as well as light-reflecting pigments

Targeting for eliminating them dark circles and brighten up the under eye, we’d say this also does its job quite well. However, we found it a little difficult to blend as it has a creamy texture.

Ours was in shade 005 / light nude and the price was IDR 63,5k (~$4,8)

Pros

doesn’t feel creasy (causing the fine-lines)

perfect for highlighting the features of the face

travel friendly packaging (stick tube makes it easy to carry everywhere)

Cons

its creamy texture takes more time to blend perfectly

~> POWDER ( Nude Illusion Loose Powder )

transparent, loose powder which gives velvety & matte finish suitable for every skin type and tone

Nothing much to say about this product, it acts as a finishing powder like they’re supposed to. BUT! What we hate about it was they didn’t provide puffs which was a shame... Price IDR 88k (~$6,7)

Pros

does give a matte finish

fits oily & combination skin

Cons

doesn’t come with puff!!!! (wAt is this sorcery)

~> BLUSH ( Multi Matt Blush )

for a unique and fresh look with 4-in-1 matt blush shades with light & soft texture

Apply this with brush for better application. We got ours in 010 / love, rosie! for IDR 63,5k (~$4,8)

Pros

pretty colors

suitable for natural look

travel friendly packaging (small & light)

Cons

low pigmentation

not suitable for dramatic look

~> CONTOUR & HIGHLIGHT ( Prime And Fine Professional Contouring Palette )

professional set for shaping the contours of your face

Umm how do we start about this product..

...We DO NOT recommend this product at all! It doesn’t pick up properly on the brush nor finger, doesn’t transfer onto the face at all. Just.. no. And just in time to find out that this product was already discontinued but still sold in the store.. Yup. Bye IDR 72k (~$5,5)

In case you’re curious, this was in shade 010 / ashy radiance. I’ll still state the pros & cons tho:

Pros

suitable for natural look

travel friendly packaging (small & light)

^ a soft way in saying that they’re not pigmented at all

Cons

extremely low pigmented

the highlighter is not glowing at all

in conclusion, doesn’t worth the money even if it’s not that pricey (we understand why it is discontinued)

***

Done with the face makeup! In conclusion, they’re pretty good and affordable EXCEPT the contouring palette, could have gotten different and better one with the same/lower price (or we don’t mind paying a lil extra for nice stuffs)

And nope, this is not over yet as we still have eyes and lips parts to cover so scroll more for those!

EYES

~> Eyeshadow ( The Precious Copper Collection Eyeshadow Palette )

eyeshadow palette with a powder texture consists of highly pigmented and long-lasting power with a matt contouring shade as well as a highlighting shade

One of my favorite step... applying them eyeshadow. First off pretty warm tone, shimmery copper colors. Honestly this palette’s our style! Really suit the natural look.

Have we mentioned how nice and pigmented this pallete is!

This was in shade 010 / metallux ( IDR 85k / ~$6,5)

Pros

pretty shimmery colors

high pigmentation

quite long-lasting

wide range of bright and dark color options

Cons

cause fallouts while applying with brush

~> EYELINER ( Eyeliner Pen Waterproof )

felt-tip pen with intensive black texture, fast-drying & longlasting

RECOMMENDED! Glides very smoothly, the tip isn’t shaky at all which is so good for such a noob at drawing eyeliner like me, luv luv luv it!!! Plus, it’s freaking waterproof so it doesn’t melt easily. In 010 / black waterproof (IDR 50k / ~$3,8)

Pros

very easy to apply because of the stiff tip & the ideal tip shape

can create any kind of eyeliner shape (the variety of the thickness)

perfect for beginner

waterproof

Cons

Honestly can’t find any flaw in this product, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

~> EYEBROW ( Eye Brow Stylist )

naturally accentuates the brows with powdery texture in creating a simple and accurate application

This one’s in darkest shade which was 040 / don’t let me brown’n (IDR 42 / ~$3,2)

Pros

high pigmentation

easy to apply

good for everyday usage

Cons

the brush is quite uncomfortable to use as it was rough

easily get smudged (when accidentally rubbed it or something)

***

Done with eye makeup! Oh wait, we actually forgot something. Yup, mascara! Well, we didn’t exactly forget to get one.. but we still have a lot in our vanity, which is why we decided not to add more as we’re afraid we won’t be able to finish them all in time or dried them up.

So as y’all probably have predicted which product we recommend the most... Definitely the eyeliner! As for the eyeshadow and eyebrow, they’re still okay to get as well.

Finally to the last step of our makeup... the lips! Let’s get to it~~~

LIPS

( Ombré Two Tone Lipstick )

lipsticks with two colours each for an ombré finish, contains argan oil

If you want to achieve a moisturizing ombre look on your lips, then we’d say this is the product! But if you want something with more lasting power, this is a weak product for you. Has a total of 6 different shades (ours was 010 / rockabily rosewood) which costs IDR 75k / ~$5,7)

Pros

contains argan oil, which is good for moisturizing the lips

pretty colors

soft finish

Cons

doesn’t last for long (not a big deal tho, can always retouch after meals)

Finally we are reaching the end of this post... What I forgot to mention since the beginning was before we bought all the products, we didn’t rely on any single sampling because they didn’t provide samples. So our lesson here is, let’s not be afraid to try something new (pffft)

Hope you guys enjoy this long post and find this useful!

Ask me away here.

Catrice Cosmetics’ website: http://www.catrice.eu

#review #catrice cosmetics #makeup #foundation #concealer #powder #blush #contour #highlight #eyeshadow #eyebrow #eyeliner #lipstick #makeup review #catrice #german makeup #korean makeup #korean beauty #kbeauty #pardon the crowded tag

[micaramel]

When Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson launched their highly-anticipated makeup collaboration on Friday, it almost instantly sold out.

As diehard fans crashed the Jeffree Star Cosmetics website, critics questioned why people were buying makeup from a YouTuber with little experience in the beauty industry.

I purchased the entire line — except for the Diet Shane lip balm, which was unavailable — at a very busy New Jersey Morphe store that same day.

Though I initially had high hopes, I was a bit disappointed. Many of the eye shadows felt chalky to me and I found most of the liquid-lipstick shades unwearable, though I did appreciate the unique packaging.

Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

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Eye-shadow palettes are the focal point of the Jeffree Star Cosmetics x Shane Dawson collaboration.

The $52 Conspiracy palette features 18 shades, while the $28 Mini-Controversy palette has nine.

In my opinion, the outer packaging of these palettes is enough to impress most shoppers. The larger palette is packaged in a black-and-white spiral-print box, while the smaller product is contained in a black box with a 3D static print.

Dawson and Star detailed the creative process behind creating these packages in their recent YouTube series.

The Conspiracy palette is arguably the most-anticipated beauty product created this year.

When Star and Dawson first revealed this palette in their YouTube series, I thought it looked really unique. My feelings stayed the same once I held it in my hands just days later. Its geometric box stands out from any palette I already own, and it's leather-like material feels high quality.

I was a little concerned that it would be too heavy to actually work with, but its weight hasn't been a problem since I've started using it. 

I couldn't wait to dip my makeup brushes into the colorful shadows.

When I first opened the palette, I thought the shadows looked less vibrant than they do online. However, this actually made the product seem more appealing to me, as I initially thought it looked both colorful and wearable.

I particularly loved the stamps embedded into each eye shadow, and appreciate that they really represent Dawson's work on the palette. 

Once I swatched the product, however, I became less enthusiastic.

While arm swatches do not make or break makeup, in my opinion, they can be telling of a product's quality. In my experience, the lighter colors barely showed up on my arms while the darker colors looked patchy.

From left to right, there's: Ranch, My Pills, Tanacon, Diet Root Beer, Just A Theory, Spiraling, Conspiracy, Pig-Ment, Food Videos, Trisha, Cheese Dust, and Flaming Hot.

However, I really appreciate the quirky shade names of each shadow.

Not only do the shade names stand out from the more standard ones created by other brands, but it also feels like you're sharing an inside joke with Dawson and Star.

From left to right, the above shadows are: My Ride's Here, Illuminatea, Sleep Paralysis, Not a Fact, Diet Cola, and What's The Tea?

I had a little bit more luck when applying the shadows on my eyes.

I started by applying the shade Tanacon in the crease of my eyelid. While the shade barely showed up on my arm as a swatch, it applied beautifully on my eyelid. In my experience, the eye shadow looked pigmented and blended easily.

That is, until I got to the darker colors.

Because I was going for a fall look, I wanted to apply a maroon shade on the outer corner of my eye. Though the plum shade "Not A Fact" looked appealing, I preferred the metallic "My Apology" shade from the Mini-Controversy palette.

Unfortunately, I found this shadow to be very difficult to use. In my experience, it didn't blend well with the other shade on my lid, and excess powder quickly surrounded my eye area.

The black shadow wasn't as pigmented as Star promised in a recent YouTube video.

In "The Dangerous World of Jeffree Star" episode of Dawson's series, Star commented on the black "My Ride's Here" shade.

"It's so creamy — holy s---," Star said in the video. "Blacks are kind of hard to perfect sometimes if you want a really true black."

However, I don't entirely agree with Star. I used the shade as an eyeliner, and found it to feel more chalky than creamy. To be fair, I didn't use the perfect brush for this technique, but the shadow could have been more pigmented regardless.

In my experience, these eye shadows were pretty messy to use.

After dipping my brush into the Tanacon shadow only once, loose powder flew everywhere. Typically, I don't mind a bit of kickback — I find it usually means the shadows are more blendable. 

In this case, however, I worried the excess product would muddy the other shades in my palette and coat my mirror in makeup.

My eye shadow could have turned out worse, but it also could've looked a lot better.

While I've certainly used worse eye shadows over the years, nothing about the Conspiracy palette really stood out to me upon first try. I had difficulty blending the shades, and the metallic colors seemed to fade quickly throughout the day. 

I've since used other shades in the palette, and have grown to like Conspiracy more than I did initially — but I'm not sure it's worth spending $52 on.

I also tried using one of the shadows as a highlighter on my cheekbones.

When the palette launched, some people on social media said they planned to use the eye-shadow shade Ranch as a highlighter. Of course, I had to try this technique for myself.

While the color was a bit too white for my taste, it initially looked great as a highlighter. After only a few hours, however, it all but faded. I even asked a colleague for their opinion on the highlight, to which they replied: "I thought that was excess powder from your eye shadow."

The following day, I tried the Mini-Controversy Palette.

The $28 palette is much smaller than the Conspiracy product, but looks just as stunning. As I mentioned earlier, Star and Dawson really nailed the packaging of this collection.

The palette contains nine eye-shadow shades.

While one of the shades — Diet Root Beer – can also be found in the Conspiracy palette, the other eight colors are unique to this product.

Personally, I love that Star and Dawson chose to create both large and small palettes. Not only is this option more affordable, but it's also great for beginners, people who don't wear tons of bright colors, and those who want to try Star's products without spending tons of money.

In my opinion, this palette provides a decent mix of wearable colors and vibrant shades.

Like the conspiracy palette, I wasn't too impressed by the shadows as I swatched them on my arms. 

From left to right, there's Flat Earth, Cry On My Couch, My Boyfriend's Purse, Controversy, Diet Root Beer, My Apology, Exposed, Cancelled, and The Simulation.

Overall, I enjoyed using this palette.

While I did find these eye shadows to be messy like those in the Conspiracy palette, the matte shades I used look stunning in person. It didn't take too much work to blend them or build up their color, and they also paired well with a liquid eyeliner.

Overall, I think the Conspiracy and Mini-Controversy palettes are nice, but I wouldn't reach for them every day.

I can understand why fans of Star and Dawson waited hours in lines — both at Morphe stores and online — to purchase these palettes. They're great collector's items, and would look stunning on any vanity.

Still, I just wasn't that impressed with the actual eye shadows. I found that blendability was an issue with every metallic shade I tried, and the mattes were a bit too messy for my liking. 

I also tried almost every lip product from the Jeffree Star Cosmetics x Shane Dawson collection.

The collection includes six liquid lipsticks, which retail for $18 each, and a clear lip gloss, which costs the same price.

An $18 Diet Shane lip balm is also part of the collection, though the product was not available at the Morphe store when I was there.

From the moment I saw these lipsticks, I was confused by the shade range.

Star and Dawson first debuted their liquid lipsticks in "The $20 Million Dollar Deal with Jeffree Star" episode of their series. Immediately, I questioned why they chose the shades they did.

In my opinion, the three metallic shades looked unflattering, and the matte pink color seemed outdated. Only the neon pink and vibrant red seemed to make sense to me. Still, each color looked promising when swatched on my arm.

From left to right, there's: Oh My God, Ryland, I Gotta Go, Shane, Jeffree What The F---?, and Are You Filming?

I was even less impressed when I wore the liquid lipsticks.

I really wanted to love these lipsticks, as I consider Star's formula to be one of the best on the market. However, I only enjoyed using two of the six products. 

The shade Oh My God, for example, didn't work for me, as it didn't suit my skin tone. I also found the shade to apply sheer — it took me at least four coats to get a semi-opaque look.

While I love Star's matte formula, I feel his metallic shades could use some work.

In my experience, the shades Ryland and Shane looked extremely unflattering. Not only did they apply patchy, but I feel as though they'd only work for Instagram-style makeup looks — not everyday wear.

I Gotta Go looked better, in my opinion, though I can't say I'd wear it frequently.

If you like wearing a statement lip color, the two matte shades from this collection are definitely worth purchasing.

In my opinion, Jeffree What The F--- ? is one of the best pink lipsticks I've ever tried. It looks vibrant and opaque, and also feels extremely comfortable on the lips. I almost forgot I was wearing it after it dried down.

Are You Filming? also stands out, though I think it only works when paired with a strong lip liner to keep it in place.

The collection's clear lip gloss has arguably the best shade name of any product in the line.

Dawson and Star named this $18 product Shane Glossin', a nod to the YouTuber's last name.

It's packaged in a clear tube with a pointed top, just like Star's concealers and other lip glosses.

I have no complaints about the Shane Glossin' product — it does exactly what it's meant to do.

In my experience, the product applies smoothly, looks glassy, and doesn't feel too sticky. While I do think you can purchase similar products at cheaper price points, the unique packaging of this gloss makes the extra cost almost worth it.

I also feel the product is especially perfect for people who don't wear makeup, but still want to support Star and Dawson.

Overall, I'm not sure the Jeffree Star Cosmetics x Shane Dawson collection is worth all the hype it's received.

In my experience, I faced too many roadblocks while using makeup from this collection to say it's worth purchasing. I find most of the eye shadows to be messy, and almost every lipstick shade feels unwearable. While the gloss works just fine, I'm not sure it stands out from others on the market.

I do love the product packaging throughout the collection, and think Star and Dawson did a great job adding unique details to their products — like the funny shade names and quirky eye-shadow stamps. Still, I'm not sure that's enough to save the collection.

I do understand why thousands of people eagerly purchased this makeup, and I think it's great that there's such a tangible way for viewers to support the YouTubers they love.

Still, as a makeup fanatic, I can't help but wonder if anyone would actually purchase these products if they didn't have Star and Dawson's names on them.

Read more:

I bought Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson's new makeup the day it was released at a Morphe store, and the scene was close to chaos

Jeffree Star fans are selling the YouTuber's sold-out beauty products for more than double their original price as customers wait for a restock

Shane Dawson's mom visited a crowded Morphe store to buy his makeup line, and fans banded together to make sure she got a parking spot

Here's everything featured in Shane Dawson's makeup collaboration with Jeffree Star

from Design http://bit.ly/2K8VLjN

#micaramel

[trendyelle]

Sephora’s Weekly Wow Has Urban Decay, Tarte& Benefit For Under $15

There’s a bit motto I go by when I need to remind myself that less is almost always better. You know, it becomes something like “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, more…” Yeah, it’s all fun and games until Jose fucks up your life after like, simply a few minutes hours. However, the committee is exclusions to this concept when it comes to the finer concepts in life: belatedly night pizza MAKEUP. You can never have too much of the stuff that turns you from 2009 Kylie to 2017 Kylie. Never underestimate the capability of reconstructive surgery good lipstick and don’t ever tell anyone tell you differently. Speaking of poppin’ lipstick, we’ve “ve been through” not one, but three weeks of Sephora Weekly Wow marketings. If you thought they were good before, you have another thing to access to you this fourth week. Consecrate your daddy’s centre charge card because everything in this week’s Weekly Wow is…..wait for it, drum roll delight ….. $ 15 and under. Just fuck me up, Sephora. From Tarte’s lip collection to Benefit Cosmetics mascara and even more Urban Decay goodies, start racking up those allure insider spots with these makes before they sell out in like, an hour. 1. Benefit Cosmetic They’re Real! Lengthening& Volumizing Mascara I am literally so picky with my mascara, it’s genuinely not okay. I’m talking worse than my disgustingly complicated Starbucks tell. Side mention: Wail out to the baristas who put up with petty bullshit. Irregardless, I was not content with any overpriced mascara until I tried this beauty. This mascara really gives your eyes the spectacular period of questionably phony lashes after exactly a few hairs. Its customized touch is in order to make even the smaller of thongs look perfectly bent, characterized, dense, and long af. The mascara comes in three colors: pitch-black, chocolate-brown, and “beyond blue, ” but maybe you are able to stick with the first two if you don’t want anyone questioning your sanity( more than they already do ). 2. Tarte Tarteist Glossy Lip Paint These situation lip gloss soften your cheeks for smooth application and give super pigmented color so it doesn’t is like an everyday chapstick you could have bought at Duane Reade. They hydrate fugly chapped lips and leave a glistening finish without feeling like your cheeks are stuck together every time you chafe them. There’s a variety of must-have nudes to the sultry twilight violet everyone is wearing nowadays. 3. Tarte Tarteist Quick Dry Matte Lip Paint Finally, a lightweight matte dehydrating lipstick that doesn’t constitute your lips feel like fucking skin after two seconds.* coughing** cough* Kylie. This quick drying cheek cover is a liquid-to-matte lipstick so 1) it doesn’t smear all over and/ or get on your front teeth, and 2) you can have the immunity( and relief) of moving your opening without your skin cracking. Choose from pinks to browns to bright fuchsia, refer with the little sprig, and have a drunk makeout sesh without making a sucker of yourself. Miracle. 4. Tarte Tarteist Creamy Matte Lip Paint And next, we have the glow-up of the matte lipstick: the velvet lip. The following formula feels like your median lipstick but instead dehydrates as a softer, smoother, intensified matte. The ultra creamy cheek paint be coming back neutral or v bold options including psychopath pitch-black and something called “Yaasssss”–no, I’m not encouraging this decision, that’s merely literally the name of their lavender shade. 5. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion – Original All six of these heaven-sent eyeshadow primers qualify for this week’s Weekly Wow. So I don’t garbage my period typing the same paragraph six periods sound like a divulge account, I’m merely going to describe this once, as if the call alone doesn’t generate it away. These eyeshadow primers slither on smoothly to keep your eyelids oily- and crease-free and deepen your eyeshadow tint for a full 24 hours. Because Urban Decay understands we all have like, different seeings and bizarre see troubles, there are six primer concoctions make their own choices, each catering to a different require. To start, this OG of the knot dehydrates clear and allows you to blend with ease so no one knows you may have done your makeup while somewhat intoxicated. 6. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion – Eden This primer delivers the same smooth application, but in a simple nude colour. The matte dehydrating primer is reducing redness around the eyes, hiding the fact that you clearly abode out until 5am( again ). The neutral colouring blends in so well, you can even wear it as an eyeshadow if you’re certainly that fucking lazy( like, same here ). 7. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion – Caffeine The primer potion comes in a warm brown that works perfectly for deeper surface colours and is a long-lasting primer that stands smudge-proof. It preps your eyelids by smoothing out uneven quality and really deepens brown eyeshadow shadows for a bolder look. 8. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion – Anti-Aging No one wants to say they had 10 plastic surgeries in a single epoch before they turned 25 (@ HeidiPratt ). I get it, Urban Decay clearly fucking gets it, which is why they created one of their acclaimed primers specifically to hide the fact that we age. Formulated with special anti-aging ingredients, this primer eliminates shocking wrinkles and tightens the scalp around your eyes so you mostly never look like you’re slowly dying–even if you are interested in it. Its unique tints brighten your eyes for the purposes of an alert appearance and reduce swelling to ensure you never appear a era over 21. 9. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion – Fix This primer is actually the best one yet. Not only is it a limited-edition warm beige, but 100 percentage of the continues go to selected women’s empowerment nonprofits. So like , now “youve been” have to buy this and no one can say shit about it because you’re honestly helping a really good induce, damn it. Say it with me( and Bey ), WHO RUN THE WORLD ?! Oh, here’s the primer TAGEND 10. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion – Sin Yes, a primer infused with glittery shit is also an option. This pallid nude comes with a shimmer finish that bides given all day long and heightens lame matte shades with a pop of glisten. Glitter is always better, don’t even disavow it. You can even wear it alone for a sophisticated champagne seem when you’re really more hungover to operate and already running late for brunch. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/sephoras-weekly-wow-has-urban-decay-tarte-benefit-for-under-15-44/

[sierradorotheia]

CURRENT FAVOURITES

Hey! So following up on some current favourites from the last one, almost five months later ♥

** SKIN CARE FAVES **

Kate Sommerville ExfoliKate Intense Exfoliator ~ this is in my FabFitFun Fall 2017 box that I was a bit hesitant to try on at first just because of my new found love in my Sephora charcoal exfoliator. ExfoliKate works better and not just because it’s on the pricier side- but because it really does work for my new acne’s. I use this every three days as a part of my night-time routine and I find that my skin soaks up my skincare products better right after.

Korean Face Masks ~ my brother’s girlfriend picked up some Korean face masks for me when she was in South Korea and we all know that the Koreans have a A+ rep with skincare products. I’ve retired peel-off masks just because it just never worked for me and I didn’t find it was worth the time. These face masks are so soothing and relaxing!

SK II Essence ~ my current skincare regimen breaks the bank but it’s the only one that works! I have finally taken the plunge and splurged on SK II essence and it’s the best decision I’ve had in a while. I know this essence is very pricey but because I only require four drops, twice a day, I know that the 160 ml bottle will tide over until the next Sephora VIB sale in November.

Essie Cuticle Oil ~ leaves my cuticles soft and easier to push back, and makes my manicure look better and healthier.

Dermelect Ridge Filler ~ another FabFitFun score. I love wearing this as is for about a couple days, and on the third day, I’ll usually apply my nail polish. It makes my nails look stronger. And did I say it looked just as pretty as is !

Verb Sea Shampoo and Conditioner ~ I recently decided to move on from drugstore hair products (i.e., whatever’s marked down at the grocery store) and use a higher-end line. Verb was actually not my first choice to try out, but my #1 is a bit on the pricier side so I decided to try something reasonable for now. The Verb Sea shampoo and conditioner together cost $32, which I can live with. The reviews were promising, so I decided to just buy it without sampling. I love the subtle smell, and the way it feels after blow-drying in the morning. I wash my hair at night and my scalp used to get extremely oily the next day with drugstore hair cares, and I never have that problem with these products. I also noticed the fallouts to be lesser and lesser. Loving my bouncy hair especially this summer season.

Fresh Sugar Lip Polish ~ I’ve had this product for God-knows-how-long, and for all I know, this stuff’s already expired... but it still works! I wish I can use this everyday, but I know I shan’t so I won’t. lol I use it during my makeup days and it improves my matte lipstick application.

Sephora Face Wipes ~ this is one of the items that I picked up on a whim while at a Sephora ~travel items~ counter, and I’m glad I did. I swear by my Garnier makeup remover but those don’t have that closure thingamajig so my last one just dried up when I forgot to close it properly. I tried the Sephora Coconut makeup remover wipes first, and I already ordered another one online of a different type.

Sephora Face Mists ~ do you ever just pick up something from Sephora when ordering online just so you qualify for a free deluxe sample? Just me? Anyway, this face mist was only bought for the deluxe sample reason and I was going through a phase of face-mist-craze so I figured why not? I got the coconut one first, and I fell in love with it- I liked the atomizer a lot, I liked the price point, and I like the soothing effects so I decided to purchase the other type. This is my go-to during no-makeup days (which is, every day) plus a spot-concealer. Can’t go wrong! I wish they make other kind in the future.

Boscia Makeup Remover Cleanser ~ I remember the days when I attempted to use a makeup cleansing oil and it did not quite workout well for me, but I realised it’s because I wasn’t using a makeup wipe BEFORE using the cleansing oil. I also noticed that using a makeup removing wipe didn’t cut it at times, so I decided to use a cleanser once again. I love the cooling effect right after removing a full day’s worth of makeup, and I can  tell it’s really unclogging them pores. I still use my regular face cleanser afterwards, and I’m ready to zZz.

Jo Malone Mimosa and Cardamom Perfume ~ price-wise, this is luxury. I was looking for a new perfume for the winter and took the Sephora Fragrance IQ and this is one of the results. I’ve been relying a lot on the Fragrance IQ to decide my next scent, and so far, it hasn’t steered me wrong. I am obsessed with the subtlety of this scent- so feminine, so floral. I want to add “it’s so me...” but it’s really not. Haha...

Soap and Glory Body Scrub ~ I’ve been obsessed with body scrubs and I like to treat myself with a polish/scrub especially after a greasy workout. I wish I can use these scrubs everyday- but that’s detrimental to the skin of course! This is my current scrub, and I’ve used a few from Soap and Glory before. This has a nicer scent that lingers on my body throughout the night and I can still smell it the next day after tossing and turning and literally rubbing my body in my sheets. Again, I’ll use this everyday if I could!

** MAKEUP FAVES **

Too Faced Peach Perfect Foundation ~ I saw this as one of the top-rated foundations in Sephora so when I went in for my complimentary makeover, I requested to have this  used on me. I like the consistency and how it has that blurring effect on my face, but at the same time, not being too cakey.

Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation ~ I’ve always wanted to try this foundation but because I need to be color-matched before buying, I’ve put off for a couple of years. I also requested for this foundation to be used on me during a Sephora makeover and at the time, I didn’t like how it felt on my face. I used the sample I requested after the makeover and I liked it the second time around, and the coverage is surely buildable. I like how it looks on my face after a long day of makeup- and definitely long lasting.

Tarte Amazonian Clay Mascara ~ I stopped buying full-size mascaras and just heavily relied on the deluxe samples I get from shopping online at Sephora since there is ALWAYS a sample available for the taking. I’m buying a full-size of this one, though, because of the clump-free application and its amazing wand. You can literally apply multiple coats without that spider-webb-y look.

False Lashes ~ I know I’ve been too late in on the false lashes wagon, but I just recently started obsessing over them . I know I still need PLENTY of practice but when makeup gurus say that falsies put the whole makeup look together, they are not lying! I have short, pathetic Asian lashes and adding falsies make a ton of difference. I mostly apply lashes on bare eyes (i.e, no shadows) and I love the natural look it gives. For now I’m just practicing on cheap, Walmart lashes such as Ardell, Kiss, and a few things from nailpolishcanada, and I’m hoping to master the ~art~ of applying with a full-on eye makeup look.

Huda Beauty Matte Lipstick in Venus ~ I purchased this as a Lip Contour set and it came with a lip pencil and another liquid lipstick, but I enjoy this lipstick on its own as I’d say this is the closest shade of my lips. It’s long-lasting and doesn’t feel tacky- almost as if you don’t have any lipstick on. And I also like that it’s good even without a lip liner.

Becca Luminous Liquid Highlighter in Opal ~ my new holy grail! Crazy to think that this was purchased as a deluxe sample and I ended up LOVING the heck out this. The first time I used it, I was amazed by the glow it created even underneath a setting powder. I can almost use it on its own, but it just makes topping it with a powder highlight more longer-lasting and popping.

Becca Luminous Highlighter in Opal ~ I tried the cult favourite Champagne Pop before as my first Becca highlighter and for me, it didn’t live up to the hype that much. I wish I tried the Opal highlighter first; this, paired with its liquid constituent- girl your highlight can and WILL be seen from space.

Becca Sunlit Bronzer ~ I feel like I’m always on a hunt for a good bronzer, especially it’s almost summer time and sometimes I just go for the bronzy, warm look. I like how this fits the bill- not too light compared to the Too Faced Chocolate bronzer- and not to dark like the Nars Casino bronzer.

** MISC **

Muscle Roller ~ this was in my FabFitFun Winter 2018 box and boy oh boy, this is my new bestie. It does work wonders especially on intense leg days (it can be leg WEEKS at my gym sometimes) and works best especially for those who are so bad at skipping foam rolling at the gym (you know who you are!)

Analogue album by Odie ~ it was an album J shared to me- he wasn’t even all hyped up, just pointing out how this kid sounds like Kid Cudi- but one day I just let the whole album play and I was blown away. Perfect chill tunes. And it helped that Odie’s reppin Toronto!

CupShe Bikini ~ I’ve been seeing CupShe on my Facebook feed but I never actually bought anything from them until I saw this cute bikini set that made me say “I oughtta have those!”. I figured it would be my first ever CupShe purchase, and with the $2 shipping to Canada, it sure won’t be the last. Another plus? There weren’t any duties/taxes fee when they arrived. How awesome!

Yoga Jeans ~ I can’t buy jeans online just because it’s never true to size for me. We have a local boutique in town and I’ve had my eyes on this brand for the longest time and one day I was just walking past the store and saw that they have a 25% off store-wide event and I thought it was a perfect time to get my hands on these. They fit like a dream, they have the length that looks good on my 5′4 figure, and the material is stretchable. I would definitely buy these even in full price! So worth it.

#skin care #hair care #makeup #beautfy #skii #korean face mask #sephora #haul #becca #soap and glory #verb #boscia #false eyelashes #huda beauty #too faced #bronzer #jo malone #muscle roller #sierradorotheia #current fave #current favourites

[deadend-wonderland]

Christmas Makeup Review

I’ve been using most of my makeup I got for Christmas, so I decided to write a review of them

LORAC Mod Goddess PRO Liquid Lipstick Set: 10/10

I’m in LOVE! The set I got was vol. 1: Vol I - Soft Pink/Plum Pink. I was very afraid at first because the formula in the tube is so watery. But the application is so smooth, and it is the longest wearing lipstick I have ever owned. I don’t normally wear lipstick because I bite my lips a lot and eating throughout the day just wears it down to a gross patchy mess, but I was able to eat a salad, go to two meetings, run errands, and eat a slice of pizza for dinner before my lips became noticeably patchy and worn down. This is the best makeup I got this Christmas.

Benefit Dandelion Brightening Baby-Pink Blush: 10/10

Love, love, love! I normally don’t wear blush because it always looks so fake on me, but this blush is so subtle that I honestly forget that I put it on. I don’t need any additional brushes when I apply it, because the brush it came with is perfect for cheeks. Couldn’t recommend this more.

Benefit High Beam Liquid Face Highlighter: 9/10

Oh my god, this is amazing! I normally don’t use liquid highlighter, but this has changed my mind. Its highly pigmented and can be seen in any lighting. With that said, it’s definitely best to save this for a night out or an off-day, because I wore this to my office job and that’s all I could see about myself, in a bad way. The application is also a little messy, because brushes don’t work well. You need to use your fingers to get this in. But the little brush in it is perfect for applying to tight spots, like your upper lip to define your lips.

Urban Decay Vice Liquid Lipstick Comfort Matte: 8/10

I bought one of these this summer for recruitment and I liked it well enough. It was in Crimson, a rich red, so I noticed the transfer to my teeth and everything more. But it was fine for a four-hour day with only one reapplication, so I got two more colors this Christmas. I really like 1993 because it’s a really subtle brown, and Trivial is also a subtle pink-nude color, but the transfer problems I had with Crimson were still there. Still, it’s not a bad lipstick if you have the time to reapply every couple of hours.

Too Faced Melted Latex Liquefied High Shine Lipstick: 7/10

I got two of these: one in Bite Me and Safe Word. Application is easy; The formula is pretty good, but my only complaint with it is that the longevity isn’t that great. I can get about a good two hours out of it, with drinking from a straw and all, but the transfer to the straw is heavy, and it wears out fast. I’m not that big of a fan of Safe Word because the outside and swatch made it look like a lighter, more natural pink, but it is definitely bright pink. I really like Bite Me though, because even though it is advertised as a deep red, it goes on as more of a brown-red than anything. I’m all about some browns and nude lips, so that’s a plus for me, but that advertising can be deceptive for others.

Too Faced Unicorn Survival Kit: 7/10

I’ve had this lipstick since it came out and I love it by itself and over a black matte lip. The liquid lipstick is so much better than the stick, although I’m just better with liquid than a stick. The liquid is more pigmented than the stick. Still, they both do an amazing holographic job. I’m not too cracked up on the highlighter, however, because I’ve used other colorful holographic highlighters that work better than this. But the bag it comes with is too cute and can hold so much more than what it comes with, so it’s perfect for travel.

Benefit Roller Lash Super Curling & Lifting Mascara: 7/10

I got a few different mascaras for Christmas, but I love this one. The wand has small bristles so it doesn’t clump the mascara on your lashes like some of the others. This is also it’s downfall, as it take numerous tries to get the mascara fully on your lashes. I’ve really like it as a primer mascara and have started using it as that, but because it’s advertised as a stand-alone mascara, I’m going to rate it as such. Otherwise, this product would be a 10/10 as a primer.

Urban Decay Troublemaker Mascara: 7/10

I really like this mascara, but I can’t say I love it. Compared to UD Perversion mascara, I can’t say it’s the greatest. But it does what it needs to with an easy build-up and minimal clumping. I still prefer the Perversion mascara though, but a travel-size of this will do just fine.

Glamglow Poutmud Wet Lip Balm Treatment: 6/10

It’s decent. The color is subtle and nice, but falls off fast. But it’s supposed to be a lip balm, not a lipstick, so I won’t fault it for that. It doesn’t moisturize my lips as much as I thought it would, but its not too bad. The application isn’t that great, because it stains your finger and you need to buy a brush. Overall though, I still wouldn’t rate it that bad, but it’s not that great, either.

Benefit Gogotint Bright Cherry Tinted Lip & Cheek Stain: 6/10

The rating on this would be so much higher if it wasn’t advertised as a cheek stain as well. The cheek stain aspect is too pigmented and makes me look like a clown. The lips stain, however, is a gorgeous subtle red with only minimal transfer that stays on the whole day. If I could rate each use separately, the lip stain would get a 9 and the cheek would get a 2 (because it does stain your cheek), but together, I can’t give it more than a 6.

Benefit Hoola Matte Bronzer: 6/10

I know this is a cult classic, but honestly, I’ve used better bronzers. I think it’s because I hate the application brush. It chunks the bronzer on and really doesn’t blend it out. It may just be that specific brush though, because the Benefit blush I got has the same applicator and it works great. I normally have to blend it out with my Kat Von D contour brush, but it looks fine after that. It’s very subtle and nice for my office job, but I would want something for defined for the social life.

Benefit Watt's Up! Cream-to-Powder Highlighter: 5/10

Super pigmented, really pretty swatch, but SO difficult to put on. I feel like every time I glide it across my cheek, my foundation is coming off and the highlighter isn’t going on. The application process is so tedious: you have to carefully dot it and this use your fingers to gently. It’s mess and long. However, I still think it’s worth it for days when foundation isn’t a must, and the golden tint is perfect for summer coming up, so I’m going to keep it around, especially for days when I have time to play with it.

Benefit They're Real! Double The Lip Lipstick & Liner in One: 5/10

I’m gonna be real, I haven’t used it since I tested it out. I don’t wear lip liner, so I don’t see myself using this as much. However, it glides on smoothly and came off smoothly, so that scares me about the transfer. All in all, I assume it’s pretty decent, but I’m going to go in the middle, since I won’t really use the liner.

Buxom Lash Mascara: 5/10

I’m disappointed that I don’t like this, but it’s not something I can’t work with. The applicator is nice, but the formula is too chunky. I get spider-lashes very easy. It’s great for a night out or when you’re doing a dramatic eye, but it not great for professional, business looks. The chunkiness of it can be fixed with a clean wand going over it, but if you’re always rushing to get ready, I would skip this.

Too Faced Pretty Little Planner: 4/10

Horrid. I use it everyday because I want to get it gone. Only certain of the shadows are blendable or even show up (looking at you, Snooze U Lose). I was very excited about this palette because I could use a lot of the shadows for work, but they don’t seem to show up on my lid at all. Also, the Better Than Sex mascara is very chunk and gives me spider-lashes. I had heard so many great things about this mascara, but now that I’ve tried it, I’m very disappointed. The packaging was cute and I think I’m going to use the planner as a makeup calendar. But I do like it because it’s easy to take on the go, so as long as I don’t want to use a good chunk of the palette, it’s nice for travel.

Bareminerals BarePRO Performance Wear Liquid Foundation: 4/10

I got this after getting color-matched at Sephora and I’m not impressed. I got this is Golden Nude 13 and it’s more yellow than it looks. It’s very sheer and looks fine on just a sheer coverage, but I bought it as a medium to full coverage foundation, so it’s not too great. The formula is lightweight, and I don’t feel like I’m wearing makeup. However, I can see the powdery cake look after a while. Also, the formula is too watery for me. Like I know it’s supposed to be a liquid foundation, but I expect some stability in my makeup products, not a runny mess. In order to counter these faults, I mix it on a silicone applicator with Too Faced Born This Way foundation in Vanilla, 2 parts Bareminerals to 1 part Too Faced, just to give is a bit more consistency and diminish the yellow tones (for the record, I was trying to switch from Too Faced Born this way because it is too heavy the Vanilla color is too dark on me). Mixing these colors together gives me my perfect shade, but without the other foundation, this Bareminerals falls flat.

Sephora Collection Bright Future Gel Serum Concealer: 2/10

I’m actually mad about this one. I’ve used this concealer brand for a year now and loved it. Depending on my tone at the time, I can use either 03 Fondant or 05 Parfait on any acne, and 04 Butter cream on my under-eyes. This time I bought 05 Parfait and I’m extremely disappointed. The consistency is too hard for a liquid concealer and the color is more yellow than it was before. It doesn’t blend well and sticks out against my bare skin and my foundation. They used a new applicator, which I’m starting to this is a manufacturing error and it was supposed to be for lipsticks but I digress, and it’s so bad. But even with a concealer brush, it still looks horrible. I still love the 04 Buttercream under my eyes, but I’m honestly so disappointed in this concealer.

#tbh I've just been sitting at my internship for an hour and a half doing nothing #because theres nothing to do but I'm not allowed to leave early #personal #ametuer makeup review

[storiesnstormsinmyhead-blog]

Stories we tell ourselves

Some of us are born with a natural sense of bravado and bravery. Confidence in their collect features. But many of us are not, to many, such was the case for Reynold Roy Richardson, the third son of Miguel Jonathon Richardson. Reynold Roy Richardson, Roy for short, was born with exceptionally low confidence in everything. He was averagely tall and averagely skinny and had average body type and average coloring. Just another shade of blue in the fifty eight crayon box. And although some days he wished to be something better, he had no real motives to get there and so settled with being happy with his droll, tired, average self. He could shoot a hoop from half court given enough tries, and while the guys at school thought that was pretty cool, so could everyone. However one day his life took an unexpected turn for the oddest. It started in home ec class, his usual partner who added too much salt to everything was gone for the day, so he was paired with Ruby haired Robin. Ruby haired Robin was a loner oddball who watched asian cartoons and drank real smoothies and had short red hair the stuck up at odd angles. Her doctor who sweater was too big for her and her boots too tall, her glasses seemed to eat half her face under their big frames. As she sat down he could almost feel her discontent and irritability at the long day. They made cupcakes, but instead of putting a perfect hat of frosting on them Robin dolloped a huge drippy mess of hers, they cleaned up and she stacked everything wrong and it fell down in a huge clatter. It soon became obvious to Roy that Robin was exceptionally perfect, at being completely imperfect. The next day she had a homemade beanie and they made banana bread. She tried to start conversion.

“Hey you, don’t you think miss Barreyman looks like she should be wearing a bowtie?” It was an odd question but did make sense if you saw miss Barreyman. Miss Barreyman wore power suits and high heels everyday and drank black coffee out of a gallon mug without smudging a bit of her bright red lipstick. She looked like she could have gotten away with murder in her youth, but now had tired eyes and drippy eyeliner and less perk and pep.

“Yeah sure”

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Ruby chirped, honestly would she just shut up? Why did she wanna talk to me anyways?

“No”

“Oh sorry.” lapse silence “Do you watch doctor who?”

“No, but my sister does” My freaky man obsessed sister, I borrowed her laptop once when I was ten and that's how I learned how men made love, well gay men, in her adolescent imagination.

“Oh thats cool, Supernatural?”

“What?”

“The show?”

“I don-” the bell rang, “I gotta go” finally, free from her weird conversation topics.

The next day Robin wasn’t there, salt boy was back. we made brownies, I turned my back for one second and when the brownies came out of the oven they shimmered with a fine layer of salt, he had mistaken the teaspoon for the tablespoon again. We had no conversation, but I kinda missed the weird break from normality that was Ruby haired Robin. She didn’t come back the next day, or the next day, or again. Later that week there was an article in the newspaper about a young teen girl commiting suicide. However I got a nagging sensation she was still around. Rationally she couldn’t be, but I swear I felt her irritation and discontent still, following me around. Then it happened, I was just chilling in my room gaming and eating BBQ Lays when I heard a sigh, I looked up and saw Robin, or rather a specter of her, sitting on the corner of my bed staring longingly at the bag of chips i was eating. Gone was the dark makeup and cakey foundation that looked hastily applied. In its place was a plain, but not unadorable face, slightly boyish with freckles and light lashes. hair was several shades lighter and curly in a baby pony tail, and she was wearing a huge pair of dragon pj pants and a tank top with a bow on the front. With a gasp Roy leaped from the spot on his bed and to the window and started fumbling for the latch, he had seen enough horror flicks to know what would happen next.

“Eeeek!” Robin saw his sudden scare and jumped off the bed and backed towards the door.

“Holy crap you’re dead!”

“Obviously! I’d actually be eating those chips if I could. I haven’t had anything to eat in like five days and I’m dying…” She stopped realizing the actuality of the pun “Again”

“But you’re dead, like dead!”

“Yes I am, it’s all the aliens fault.”

“Aliens?!?”

“Yes aliens!” She settled down on the bed again. “I don’t quite remember my death but I remember that there was a bright white light like a beam and I was lifted up and then it was really painful and I died, and since God doesn’t exist for me it must be aliens.”

“Okay…” This chick was clearly mad, looney, but since I was seeing ghosts didn't that make me looney as well? “So what would I do about that?”

“Well I don’t quite know why but as soon as came to you were standing right in front of me. It was at school in the home Ec lab. And since then I can't wander away from you. It’s like you’re my earthly tether?”

“Well then untether yourself! And leave me alone. I don't believe in ghosts.”

She seemed to shrink, ”I’m sorry but I don’t know how to do that!!!!!” I immediately felt both bad and embarrassed, I was yelling at a dead girl.

“No don’t be sorry, I’m sorry for yelling, but seriously, you could try to untether yourself…” Even that comment seemed stupid to me.

“Can you tell me how that game works?” She completely ignores it.

“Um sure.” I picked up my controller and proffers it to her small hands when I realize it will just fall through.

Our heroes spend the rest of the day with Roy eating chips and pointing out how different buttons work to a confused and hungry little ghost girl.

“And see, The boss has been defeated and now I just walk over using the joystick to walk and steer and can collect all my booty-” He stops when he hears a soft sighing whistle, draped across the shelf in the corner is a sleeping Robin, apparently ghosts sleep. Her face is turned away and her arms are crossed as they hang off the shelf.

“Royyyy! Dinner time!” His mother called him to the table.

“Coming!” As Roy shut the door to his small room he remembered, the dead don't need to breathe, so if Robin snored it was out of habit, a painful reminder of the times she had been full of life.

“Why do girls wear so much makeup?” Roy's questions all seemed to be common knowledge to me. I wonder why his brain hasn’t thought to comprehend these things yet, I will not say as much however because it would he horribly rude. Many things he thinks are common knowledge I have not even began to think through yet.

“Well… because they don’t believe they look good without it or desirable to the people they wish to attract. And it is a mask to hide behind so that they can face others of their species proudly without feeling inefficient. I wear- wore mine as a mask so that people would leave me alone and know I did not want to be apart of their games.”

“What games?”

“The contest between girls to be the best, like how some girls like to manipulate guys into liking them just to feel important and get all the attention because they base self worth on those things. I guess I understand how they need these things to feel alive, and I won’t oppose them unless they hurt someone I care about then I will destroy them. There are too many to oppose plus it doesn’t seem fair to deny them their existence.”

“Why do you think you’re any different?” The question is loaded and Roy knows it.

“I’m not, I just try harder not to be.” He snorts in surprise.

“Why just people who are important? What about yourself?” This seems genuine.

“I’m not very important to myself, I guess I wanted to live because anything else is scary and the effort, but I don’t see why I should be special because I don’t have any special talents and I don’t want to run around being just self important.”

“Isn’t that view a bit insulting to the people who care about you?”

“Yes, but what else do you expect me to do? Go to K-Mart and buy myself some self confidence? If I’m just a melodramatic teenager like normal this should go away soon and if I’m not I’ll just go buy something to fix it.” I can feel my translucent shoulders begin to tighten up and tears hot in my throat, I swallow them down before they spill out. Funny how even ghosts can cry, I wonder if ghost tears have magical potency? One spills and as I reach up to brush it off Roy dabs it with a sleeve.

“Hey sorry, you okay?”

“Yeah sorry I’m just overactive!”

“Come here?” He awkwardly offers me a hug, I don’t want to be rude and also, even dead girls need a hug sometimes.

She’s a fellow comrade in normalcy, and I feel sympathy, I also know how it feels to be frustrated by my lack of talent. As she accepts my hug I also feel envy, men aren’t suppose to cry.

Air rushes past us suddenly and we are flung into space violently buffeted by wind and something else like small rocks. Surprise makes me grip the only solid seeming thing around me, regardless of the weirdness of the solid. I can hear Robin screaming, or is that me? Then stillness, we are jerked into a still space and righted, well mostly…

Blinking tears out of my watering eyes I perceive colors and then images, it’s like we’re standing inside a painting, fractured images surround us in ever changing patterns and textures. Robin gives a little gasp and moves fluidly towards one. I follow not wanting to get lost inside this seeming endless maze of mirrors and illusions. I manage to grab her bare foot as she is sucked forward into the image.

Space, outer space, below the earth twinkles like a diamond covered in muddy water and around us are lights and nebulas of dust. It seems like it should be cold but I cannot feel anything, Robin gives a cry of excitement and spins in a circle laughing.

“It's just like a story I saw once!”

“Saw?” I grab at a rock floating next to me and do several slow spins in place.

“Yeah, I saw it in a dream!” She tries to right me and ends up floating the opposite direction, I grasp her wayward feet so that we are not separated. A roar buffets by us and a giant, gray, blinking mass careens past us like a torpedo. The alien saucer heads straight towards earth on a warpath. Robin gives a little yelp of fear and puts herself in front of me, like her slight body can hide me from the probing spacecraft. Fear is written on her face, and for the first time I think I may believe her a little bit about the alien story. Air rushes again and a pulling sensation drags us back, until my room swims into focus before my eyes. Robin sits against the other side of the room frozen in fear, no matter of potato chips or british shows lures her out of her spot lodged behind the door.

When she finally moves her heart is set on finding out what happened, she swears it’s somewhere, somewhere in her memory she blocked out.

I know now I have to know what happened, no matter how painful or violating the truth, a morbid part of me needs to know. If curiosity killed the cat than satisfaction brought her back. Me and Roy watch movies on aliens; independence day, alien, doctor who: the water of mars. Nothing sparks recognition. I look for scars on my body when Roy isn’t home but all I find are all my old self harm scars with my new cuts that now would never heal, just glow a subtle red against my skin. When I look at then my head hurts remembering the mood that made me do that, but it seems with my body I also shed a weight that the doctors called clinical depression, funny, it felt like a weight before, now it feels like the aliens stripped more from me than life, a part of my mind i missing. My fingers burn to hold a pencil, stupidly i try, the pencil moves an hair’s breath when I go through it. I have nothing else to do so I commit to picking up the pencil.

“Hey so you know Ruby Haired Robin?” I casually ask Bryan in the locker room.

“Yeah! That chick who liked Brian and always carried a sketchbook with her?” Bryan is a tall, athletically gifted guy with killer abs and a crisp cut look like a male model. He doesn’t have much in the way of brains but if you give him a piece of paper he can write a sonnet to make shakespeare cry.

“Yeah her! Wait she liked Dwain?” Hm interesting.

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Well… do you know if they stated a cause of death?” He cringes a little.

“Morbid man, yeah it said she had been big on cutting, there were hundreds of wounds all over her body and she had bled to death from a few in her sleep.”

“Okay cool! Thanks man.”

When I got home I rushed to my room, the door flies open to reveal Robin sitting at my desk. A pencil is grasped in her hands and she is so focused on her work that she doesn’t even start when I walk in.

“You cut?”

“Yes.” Her focus is solely on the picture she is creating.

“That's what they said killed you.”

“I know”

“Why aliens then?”

She looks up finally, “Because I never cut deep enough to kill me.”

“Can I see?”

“Some of it sure.” Carefully she lifts her pants leg all the way up to show me the red angry lines marching haphazardly up her legs. “It’s not a big deal, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

“Okay.” It’s confusing but she doesn’t seem in pain so I let go. “You liked Dwain?”

“What is it, question the dead girl time?” She is blunt.

“Sorta… sorry I was just curious… It’s more a question about why and what a girl likes in a guy… I figured you would know!” She smiles.

“Totally! Well I like Dwain because he was nice to me and didn’t ostracize me because of my looks and attitude. It’s more a kindness crush, I like him because he was nice to me and that made me happy! Then his friends started teasing him and he left me be… no one wants to be liked by a loner if their popular like that. Why you wanna know what girls like?”

My cheeks heat up like volcanos, “Because I like someone…”

“Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh who do you liiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkeeeee!” She drags it out like a kid would.

“Marina….” “Marina K?”

“Yeah…”

“She’s really pretty, just watch out she’s one of the get them to like you just because girls. Play hard to get.” Robin bounces up and down laughing, “ Roy and Marina sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G! First comes loooove then comes marriage! Then comes Roy with a baby carriage!” Robin pokes me in the side and giggles, “And we both know how you get babies since neither of us were absent from health class.”

“You remember who was in that class?” “Totally, most of the people were too embarrassed to look up, but I’ve been familiar with that stuff for a long time and it was fun watching them all blush and nervously giggle.” Thoughtfully she adds, “well knowing Marina you won't have to wait till marriage for babymaking… just babies.”

“Were your parents doctors of something?”

“Sorta, why?”

“Well you were previously associated with the process of babymaking…”

“My dad’s a gynecologist assistant and my mom is a midwife. They didn't think their daughter should be left in the dark about one of the oldest acts of mankind so they got me a few books.”

“Wow, your parents are crazy…” She shrugs her shoulders.

“Maybe to some people, but to me it’s just how I was raised and I wouldn’t ask for anything else!” A dark cloud seems to form in her visage, “I’m really gonna miss that… Damn! Why did I have to die!” Her shoulders start to shake. “It felt like a dream until now, a dream I could wake up from, but I really am dead… And being dead sucks.”

Damn it, my eyes are burning and my nose is tingling in it’s odd, sharp way. I miss my mom and dad so much, my misunderstood, passive father and my hypersensitive, overexpressing mother. Roy looks concerned but I don’t want to be helped, I want to not think or exist anymore. Roy gasps and runs forward but his hands pass through me and when I look down in morbid curiosity, I cannot see myself at all. Then the world goes black for me.

Am I really dead this time? No… I’m just sleeping. No. Im awake, just everything but my mind has faded. I’m guessing I will die soon, again, but the only regret I have is not being able to tell my mother sorry for our fight and for dying, same to my dad. Damn this is stupid, why can’t it be anyone but me! I would happily go back to my disease ridden, messed up body to fix this. But I can’t, I really can’t, and I was stupid if I ever thought I could. After all this is all my fault.

She’s gone! She vanished, one moment so real, the next gone in a wink of the imagination. Snatched away like death took her again, mind, body, and soul. Like static. The air wavers for a second, then again, she flickers back into existence. I almost rush to hug her before I remember, then I pause. Her eyes look tired, like she left something behind when she reappeared.

The rest of the week pasts like a gray rainstorm, time drags on like a tired packhorse. Slowly and worn down until I felt like a walking corpse of a walking dreamer. The boring days of old seem rose tinged to me now compared to the ominous presence in my home. Robin had vanished again off and on when she felt like it and didn’t want to be seen crying ghostly tears. I looked at the drawing she had made to try to figure out what had happened, was it an omen… or was that just my desperate hopes?

In my dreams we frantically searched for her death among the fractile memories scattered in her mind. We searched massive desert plains with beautiful rose sponged skies on the verge of night as the sun tumbled down the throat of nighttime. We scoured the bottoms of ocean so deep that they crushed everything into itself and no light could reach into the murky waters, once you were immersed the only way you could go was down. But while I searched she stayed quiet, distracted. That is until the fourth tuesday in november.

“Roy!”

“Hgrm….”

“Roy!”

“Rrrrrrrr!”

“Roy RoyRoyRoyRoyRoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“What!!!!!!!!!” I sit upright and to my great horror Robin is chilling at my bedside shaking me awake.

“You sound like an angry twelve year old.”

“What do you want!!!!!!”

“I wanna have an adventure!”

“It’s too early for this…”

“It’s never too early for an adventure!” She chirps. God I want to strangle the dead girl.

“Yes it is!” I roll over and try to ignore her.

“Nope!” Her statement could have been followed by a cheery emojicon it sounded so ridiculous. To make matters worse as soon as my back was turned she put her icy hands through my back.

“S-Stop it!” She wiggles her fingers in front of my face, sometimes she is as solid as a wall other times as thin and vapor.

“I’m dead but I’m still here and I wanna enjoy everything I can!” She pouts then puffs hair off her forehead and to the side.

“Just ten more min.”

“Royyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”

“Shhhhhh!”

“I will haunt you until the day you die.” Her threat rouses me from my slumber, no way in hell do I want her to witness my final moments or in fact the rest of my life.

“Fine, where do you wanna go?” I sigh and ruffle my hair.

“I want to go get closure so that I can move on into death.” This answer comes as a surprise!

“Why?”

“Because earth is hell and I want to go into nothing so I am no longer reminded of what I could have done or had. I don’t want to have to see my parent grieve or my existence slowly vanish until I become lost without worldly possessions and isolated until I become simply mad, I wish to go with peace.”

“Okay.” Though sad I thought it sounded completely reasonable. Being forgotten would be painful. “Where will we go?”

“I think I know, I remembered something when I vanished and I’ve been stuck here for a while, it's vague but I think if you help me we can figure out what happened!” She holds out her hands and I hesitantly grab them. A fuzzy warm vortex sucks us up in a silent vwoosh feeling.

Instead of the fearful nothingness that swallowed me up before I feel a warm calm, like acceptance. I had accepted the lonely knowledge that I had ceased to exist for my mother and father. When I had vanished I had gone to see them, I tried to talk to them but they just sat there at the table, my spot sat empty and a sullen silence engulfed the dinner. That had been the final straw, the piece that told me I was good and truly dead. My stuff had been moved and my clothes had been given to goodwill. Nothing remained of my stone collection, even my beautiful river rock paul was gone. There was no way for me to go back to my old life. No way to fix the problem. I was gone, I just hadn't let go. At first I had cried, I was unfair and horrible. I went back to Roy and sat beside him, he couldn’t see me. Life felt unbearable. Then I had appeared and saw his concern. I wanted to indulge in the feeling of being needed and cared about. But I knew I had to say goodbye to everything. It was painful. But I slowly grew accustomed to the feeling, when it became too much I went back to Roy. Now I just wanted to stop all together. I would like to say I am at peace, but to tell the truth, no, no peace for the walking dead.

So we flew forward propelled by that foggy recollection of a memory of mine. A memory I feel I must both dread and accept as a last piece of the puzzle of my death. I’m to scared to go at this alone so I took Roy with me because despite the extremely short and tumultuous times I have know him he has provided the most comfort to me of any person in my life. It’s not love or attraction of any sort, he has simply been kind and shown me support that I had not found anywhere else. In return I wished to give him closure in my demise so he was not left confused or guilty in any way.

I alight upon the asphalt of a sidewalk beneath a shiny street lamp. Dusk pulls over the hills in ribbons of smoky blue and clear soft purple and hazy clouds. Familiar lights glow from a familiar home. This isn’t the real thing but it feels so achingly like it my resolve almost wavers. Then I see a figure move.

Another Robin is inside that house, she’s in her room with a book clutched in her hands, it looks so small. She sniffs ungracefully and wipes the snot away from her nose, her eyes are red rimmed and her cheeks look raw and blotchy. She sets the book down and pulls the leg of her dragon pants all the way to her hip. Red lines across her hips ooze blood, she seems to inspect the wound before slowly letting the pants drop down. Next to me Robin stands stiffly, frozen as if in a trance. The image Robin seems to float to the bed and sit down. She snuggles down into the blankets, the scene looks peaceful even after the life fades from her skin, if you ignore the widening stain of red across her sheets. The Robin next to me is shaking and looks petrified. All of her natural seeming bravado is gone and all that left is a scared girl stripped of all her worldly possessions.

I have realised, that is not what happened exactly, it feels too neat, too fake. I wouldn’t have given up just like that. That’s not right.

At home again I sit tiredly spinning a basketball on my finger. Around and around it goes like the thoughts in my head. What was that light, why did Robin cut? Didn’t it hurt? Robin sits on my window sill and chews restlessly on her nails. Tiny, shimmery, crescent moon nail shards tumble from her fingers occasionally. Her cute features are twisted into a mask of concentration as she mulls over something. I can tell something didn’t sit right with her. “It was to perfect.”

“What?”

“My death.”

“How so?”

“I am a naturally imperfect person with many flaws and bad traits yet I died like a F***ing princess.” Sadly I think I agree, when I first met Robin I could feel her impatience and her imperfections radiating from her body, I cannot imagine someone with that much irritation could die without a complaint, hypnosis or not. “I may have seen my death but I don’t know what lead up to that. What made me want to lay down and give up?”

“What day was it?” Dread gnaws at my stomach.

“Tuesday… I think.” Oh god. “Yeah tuesday!” It had been the day we had talked.

“Do you remember anything?”

“No. Why?” We lapse into silence.

After a long pause, “Didn’t we talk that day? Barreyman and the bowtie?”

“Y-Yeah!”

“What did I seem like?”

I think back and remember her that day, “happy, chipper, and very very talkative!”

“Desperate”, she murmurs under her breath.

“Huh?”

“Nothing”, She turns away, but not before I catch a fleeting glimpse of her face, pinched with worry, her lower lip disappearing completely into her mouth.

“Cool cool.” I don’t know how to help her so I pick up my game boy and try to not think of her, she slowly vanishes, almost hesitantly.

Now I am back in ghost space, I know my presence near Roy was making him feel uncomfortable, after all it was me who died and invaded his personal space, I at least owed him the courtesy to have a mental breakdown outside of his presence. So I was desperate that day, then that begged the question what triggered this? It was obviously before Home Ec class or I would have been fine that day. What was so bad it had kept me down all day?

“Did you keep a diary?”

“Huh?”

“Did you, keep a, diary!”

“Sorta.” I slowly reappear into normal space. The only thing that can penetrate my ghost space is words I need to hear.

“Why don’t you go and look through it?”

“Well that might be difficult.”

Roy shifts to look at me over his shoulders, “Why?”

“The police confiscated it…”

“Oh okay.”

“Wanna help me get it?”

“Breaking and entering?! Are you kidding me!!! Try and stop me!” In movies the heroes always seemed to have to steal something and there was always a cool getaway scene with a cute chick and a car chase. It sounded like the perfect way to break the seal on my incredibly boring life, not that Robin hadn’t already done that, although her small a-gender cuteness took away from the mystery and just made her seem childish…

“Today? It’s in a back lab of evidence!” Robin looks nervous, I wonder what is up with her, maybe she doesn’t want me to see her diary.

“How should we get in?”

“Okay so-”

Her diary is small and compact and fits almost in my pocket, the little heart shaped lock is cheap and fragile and the keys jangle behind me as I sprint full force towards the parking lot. It took way too much effort to get in and fool the officers in the first place.

“Halt!!! Mr. John!!!!!” Two officers pound down the hall after me belts clanging. They aren’t quite willing to take out their guns yet because of who I said I was. After all they wouldn’t dare shoot Robin’s boyfriend, whom grief stricken stole her diary from the station to hear the last words of his dear departed love.

Dodging arounds a secretary desk out front I hurdle past the surprised desk attendant and out the swinging doors. Alarms blare, triggered most likely by the magnetic strip inside the diary hidden so that thieves would have trouble finding it. Next to me Robin shouts barely comprehensible, “Roy! Keys!” A wad of keys flies at me from the blur of color streaking by and I catch them. The first vehicle in the lot is a blue and white motorcycle. I grasp the handles and swing on starting the engine with the smallest key on the ring. It roars to life and ghostly hands clasp around my waist in a light embrace. I kick off and we are streaking across the road at seventy in no time. It feels like flying and I know that if we ever make it free of this mess I want a bike like this one. Adrenaline rushes like the blood in my ears muffling everything except my heart, my heart beat seems to be the beat of the world as I turn into the curves of the road. Police cars follow with blaring sirens and blinding lights. Robin squeezes my waist and suddenly we vanish from their view like an invisibility cloak was pulled over us. When I am sure we have lost them, confused and bewildered we drop the getaway vehicle at a streambed and trudge through the culvert upstream at least a mile before making our way to a local park. Exhausted I plop onto a swing back in the woods below a large old apple tree and take out the diary. Robin leans over my shoulder and we flip the the entries closer to the last one.

To Delinx Quarte

School still sucks, yeah I know I’ve said that to many times. I see no point to complete it if I feel like this no matter what I try to do with my life. My therapist tells me it's called clinical depression, I hope it goes away before I have to pay the bills. My energy is basically null and void. I guess at least you're there to listen to me.

To Delinx Quarte

Brian has shunned me for the eighth time this week, I guess I get it, I mean I’m the one who told Kristy I liked him and even if she said she wouldn’t tell, its high school. I guess I’m just stupid for thinking someone like him could talk to me after knowing such an ugly truth.

To Delinx Quarte

Roses are red

Violets blue

Im sad af

So F u to

To Delinx Quarte

Thank you for talking to me all the time.

“Talking to you all the time?” I look questioningly at Robin. To answer she picks up the book and shakes it. A small phone falls out, when I pick it up and flip it open it turns on with a whoosh noise. The screen clears and four new messages blink on the screen.

Robin I’m sorry for slashing, you shouldn’t have run, please come back I’ll bring you to a good doctor!

Robin?

Robin are you there?

Answer me goddamn it!!!!!!!!!!

As I flip through her phone the name Delinx Quarte makes sense, horrible sense. This Delinx claimed to be an alien, or he role played one. He told fantastical stories about beautiful worlds far away and amazing adventures, seriously he sounded like an author. One even make sickening sense as the space saucer heading for earth. He called Robin a petite princess and flattered her with praise for her ingenuity. He listened to her stories she told of cruel classmates and lulled her into false trust with pretty words. He even claimed to be a twenty year old lesbian. Robin told him about having no friends, and her lying confidents, and her crush who ignored her. She leaned on him and never questioned his motives besides being good and nice. Then he said he liked her. Told her what an intelligent girl she was, not like those other high school bimbos. He said they should meet and make cosplay for the next con, his place. The address sounded remote. Robin had her license and drove there herself.

Shakily Robin looks at me and in a small voice tells me what happened there, “I got there and it was ramshackled. She- sorry he didn’t wanna meet in the city because he said his anxiety would flare up.. I went to the door and he answered. I was surprised but he convinced me he meant no harm he just wanted me to be comfortable talking to me… Then we went inside, I was scared but I didn’t want to be rude… Then he starts talking all heavily. He’s an older man almost thirty and balding with grease stains on his saggy clothes and he had a ton of anime body pillows all over the place and his top pick in netflix wa my little pony! I didn’t wanna know what was in the corner… I asked him to not sit so close, even said I had a boyfriend now… But he knew too much and got mad at me for lying, he said I owed him for listening to my whining. I cried and he begged my forgiveness… I tried to run but he chased me, he had a knife and threatened me but I didn’t wanna get raped or killed so I ran, he slashed me on the thigh so deeply that my leg went numb in a few minutes. Then I got away and drove home. My parents weren’t home and I tried to dress the wound, my seats are black and I thought it was shallower. I realized it was to the bone and then I fainted from blood loss. I guess I bled to death… So I was killed by my friend who liked to pretend to be an alien and turned out to be a “Nice Guy”... Kinda pathetic.”

“Are you gonna let him get away with murder?”

“No…”

“Go get him girl!”

“What do I do?”

“Hide his porn stash, replace his anime pillows with guy anime pillows. Subscribe him to a yaoi(guy on guy) site where pre adolescent girls write fanfiction, put hot sauce in his lube… hide his wallet, and put password encoded age restrictions on his netflix so he has to watch g rated films forever. And then scrawl in ketchup on his mirror, I am always watching you. Then leave, and he’ll be paranoid forever.”

“You are truly satan Roy.” Robin smiles devilishly.

I never saw her again, she left and I was left to clean up my life. I faced community service for my crimes however the crime was solved with my help and when the police found the man he was sitting in the dark with a circle of salt surrounding him watching my little pony with horrible burns. He was arrested and sent to an asylum by his own convictions. I assume Robin went away peacefully after doing her part, maybe she stayed and saw his arrest however I believe she just left. I attended her funeral, her mother cried, her father left the room a lot. Brian was there, I could tell his consciousness was heavy with the idea he had contributed to someone's death or been able to prevent it but not done that, he was never the same. Her so called friends Kristy and Lillian were there, her therapist, and her extended family that could drive in from california to oregon. When I went up to view the casket I saw her cold face, beautifully made up in professional makeup, honestly it was weird, I missed the face only I knew, her real face and her faded hair all curly. Her cuts were hidden with a long dress and sleeves. After the funeral her mother approached me.

“Roy?”

“Yes..?”

“Okay, funny I’ve never met you, thank you for being such a good friend to my daughter! She left you something… I was almost like she knew she was going away…” Sadly she handed me an envelope with a hastily scrawled name on the front. Robin's mother was pale and mousy, her nervous eyes reminded me of a rabbits, hopping from place to place.

Dear Roy,

Thank you for being the truest friend I’ve ever had, you never lied to me and you helped me when I needed you most! You're my hero. Good luck with Marina, make her chase you… Sorry I can’t be your best man! Thank you! Enclosed is a remembrance gift!

Inside the package was a small drawing of a boy with a roguish expression on his face and a girl laughing openly riding on a motorbike that was blue and white. They seemed suspended in time carfree. I hung it on my wall, to this day I still muse over its detail and how the pencil has not faded yet.

Robin was the best and the worst thing to happen to me. I was labeled a criminal and a hero, I became not normal but am still unsure on how to become normal or not normal. It never worked out with Marina, she was to flakey and flirty. I married a beautiful, smart nerd at the age of thirty and started a family. Life runs smoothly and I wonder how Robin is doing, heaven? Rebirth? Whatever she is doing I hope she is happy as I am.

#shortstory ghost Art writing funtimes

[alphegames]

Make-up favourites

I’ve recently realised that I’ve never really talked about makeup on this blog. Well, today is the day! Like most of girls, I have some make-up favourites that I can’t live without and I’d like to show you that small collection.

Rimmel BB Cream / Rimmel Lasting Finish

Starting from the base – foundations. I have two favourite items, both from Rimmel: BB Cream and Lasting Finish foundation. My skin used to be problematic, so I mainly used the foundation to get better coverage. Nowadays I usually use the BB cream and only go for heavy coverage in winter or for bigger evening occasions. The main reason why I like those two products is that they have a perfect colour for my skin. It took me ages of trying out different foundations to find one in matching shade. Oh, the beauty of being as pale as a wall.

Maybelline mascaras

Because mascaras usually last only a month or two, I’m not a fan of spending too much on them. Those from Maybelline are both affordable and effective, I just tend to always go for different ones – I have a feeling that regardless of what the packaging says, all mascaras give pretty much the same results.

Bourjois Rose d’Or blusher

I used to be absolutely horrible with blushers. No matter how hard I tried, I’d always end up with patchy face. Until one day, when I was recommended this blusher. It literally changed my make-up life. I feel that its colour is perfect for all types of skin – it’s a rather cold pink shade, yet broken with a sprinkle of warm golden shimmer. Also, it’s not too heavily pigmented, so it’s rather hard to ruin your makeup with it – you’d have to apply very, very much. Properly applied small amount of blusher is something I can’t live without, even in my everyday makeup, which is rather natural – it just brightens the face and makes it look healthy.

Rimmel Stay Matte powder

This was my powder favourite for many, many years. Lasts decently long, has nice coverage and definitely isn’t pricey. I still use it sometimes, although the first place of my makeup favourites has recently been overtaken by…

…rice/bamboo powders

I’ve had them from a few different brands, my favourite one is Paese, but I’m not sure if it’s available internationally. Those powders are transparent, so they’re probably not for you if you expect full coverage from your powders (that’s why it wouldn’t have been good for me back in the days when my skin was a lot more problematic). Also, they might not be right if your skin is dry – rice ans bamboo powders are strongly mattifying (the only powders that actually manage to keep my face matte for more than 2 hours). And the biggest advantage of the rice and bamboo powders I’ve tried: their ingredient list. Short and natural. See the comparison of Rimmel Stay Matte and my Paese rice powder.

  Isn’t it amazing? The rule that generally applies to most cosmetics and food is that the shorter ingredient list, the better – and don’t you think there’s a slight difference between 5 ingredients and like… 30?

Red/neon lipsticks

Again, something I started using very recently. To be honest, I completely refreshed my make-up habits a few months ago and as a part of the change list I started using stronger lipstick colours in shades I’d never used before. Instead of going for light pink colours, which didn’t seem to suit me well (only took a few years to realise that!), I started using red and neon pink. My most commonly used are (from the left): Manhattan Blogger’s Choice – Meet me at the district (I bought it online, I’ve never seen it in stores though, it seems to only be sold in chosen countries), Essence – On the catwalk and  Rimmel by Kate 107.

The Manhattan one has an amazing colour that I absolutely love – unfortunately, on the downside, its consistency is very dry and if you have bits of dry skin on your lips, this lipstick will make them strongly visible (regular use of lip scrubs & balms is a must). One amazing fact about this lipstick though is that it works like a tint and the colour bites into your lips and stays there for literally the entire day – you can eat and drink as much as you want, it won’t affect the lipstick at all.

Rimmel by Kate lipsticks, on the contrary, have a lovely, creamy consistency. If the colour wasn’t so dark, I would most likely wear it all the time for my everyday makeup.

The Essence lipstick was an accidental discovery – I was in the process of finding the best lipstick colours for me and bought a bunch of rather cheap products in many different shades, this was one of them. I quite like its consistency, it doesn’t turn my lips into Sahara Desert. The colour isn’t too dark for a day makeup, so I can wear it every day. The only disadvantage is that it doesn’t last too long and I have to reapply it after every meal – it’s usually not a big problem though.

Do you use any of the above? What are you make-up favourites? Let me know!

Here’s my usual makeup. Also, mr Eeyore says hi

from Make-up favourites

#Make-up favourites