#There was at least one thing in ever sentence she said that was grammatically wrong

[mariaashlay]

Forgiveness, Can You Imagine

B5week23 Day 2: Forgiveness

@big5week23

Guilt is like a shadow that consumes every part of you, only after you apologize can you finally make amends with it.

Silence lingered between the two of them for a few long seconds as they just stared at each other, surprise written clearly all over both their faces, before Ren had decided to take the initiative and finally break the silence between them, although he did so somewhat begrudgingly.

"Um, hi, Kanzaki-chan." He said as he forced a smile onto his face, silently cursing himself for sounding so nervous.

Yukiko didn't seem all that surprised by the man's uncharacteristically nervous attitude and simply decided to ignore it. "Why hello, Sakakibara-kun, how are you doing today?" She responded calmly as she smiled her usual sweet smile, which R honestly couldn't tell was actually one of sincerity or not.

What followed was what felt like, at least to Ren, like an eternity of awkward chit chat, all throughout their conversation all Ren did was stumble over his words as he had to literally force himself not to look away from her smiling face, as he kept feeling more uncomfortable with every second that passed.

Ren honestly couldn't remember a time where talking to someone had been this difficult for him, his forte had always been words and using them in a way that was advantageous to him, but right now, it had become incredibly difficult for the literature genius to speak even the most basic sentences.

Ren couldn't help but feel embarrassed every time he stuttered even slightly as he almost made a few grammatical errors. This situation was truly unfamiliar to him, and he honestly doesn't ever want it to be, he's never felt nervous while talking to a girl before, so why was he feeling like this now?

'You know damn well why you're feeling like this' That malicious voice at the back of his mind said to him.

Ren couldn't help but grimace at that thought even though he knew all too well how true it was. As much as he had tried to ignore it, Ren knew exactly what it was that had caused this sudden burst of nervousness, he just didn't expect to be confronted by it today.

Ren feels embarrassed every time he thinks back on who he used to be, the things he used to do, not even once back then had he ever given a second thought as to how his actions might affect other, how uncomfortable it made them at times, how it took him so long to realize that what he doing was wrong is beyond him.

Then again, back then he didn't know any better, no one ever told him off and he was constantly surrounded by women who viewed him as the object of their desires, not even once did he ever stop to think that maybe what he was doing was wrong. Though luckily after a lot of time spent reflecting on himself and his actions, he finally knows better than to treat women like he used to.

Though that doesn't change the fact that what's done is done, and his actions had made a lot of women uncomfortable, one of which was standing in front of him right now. God, he doesn't even want to know how much resentment for him she must be hiding behind that perfect smile.

All the while he's been ignoring all of the things he had done to her in favor of trying to have a pleasant interaction with her, the person that all throughout their last year of middle school he had been flirty with mercilessly despite how uncomfortable it ended up making the poor girl feel, the thought of which made his stomach twist with guilt.

It would just be wrong of him to go their entire conversation without even mentioning the things that had happened between them even once, yet he just couldn't build up the courage to do so. Even now, after so much time had passed since he had last seen her, he still couldn't apologize to her about what a horrible person he had been.

It made him feel like he hadn't actually changed at all from the person he used to be, like he was still that overconfident and arrogant playboy who couldn't care one bit about how the person on the receiving end of his flirtatious attitude might feel because of it, and he doesn't think he'll ever be able to fully change into a better person if he doesn't finally apologizing for his actions. Starting with Yukiko.

He honestly should've done this a long time ago.

"Listen." Ren said suddenly, replacing his previous expression with one screaming 'this is serious', which seemed to have somewhat caught Yukiko by surprise.

He could feel his heart beating frentiqly in his chest as his breathing had become slightly heavier. "I-" Was all that he managed to say before he suddenly lost the little amount of courage he had managed to muster up.

Never before had he been so nervous to the point that his hands had started to tremble, as his eyes were trying to look anywhere but directly into hers. 'Come on, just say it!' He mentally screamed at himself.

Ren took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself before looking directly into Yukiko's eyes, and finally speaking again. "I'm so sorry about everything, I shouldn't have treated you like that." He bowed deeply as he said that, he wanted to fully express just how sorry he is for all the things he had done to her back then.

It was uncomfortable and he could hardly even get himself to look up at her, but it needed to be said, he wasn't asking for forgiveness, he knew that forgiveness wasn't something that'd be given to him anyways, not after everything he's done, he just wanted to finally make amends and move on from the person he used to be.

For a split second, silence lingered between the two of them yet again as shock had been written clearly all over Yukiko's pretty face, but as soon as it came it had been replaced by a calm and gentle smile. "It's okay, I forgave you for that a long time ago." 

Upon hearing those words, Ren's eyes went wide with bewilderment as he immediately looked up at her, and that's when he saw it, that sweet smile of hers, only this time she had even more of an angelic aura surrounding her. This time he didn't need to wonder about the nature of her smile, this time Ren could say with certainty that the smile she wore was one of sincerity.

"To be honest, at first I couldn't stand you." She said as she looked away from him for a second. "Your concept of personal space was completely shrewd and every time we saw each other you made me feel uncomfortable." 

It hurt to hear, but Ren knew more than anyone just how true her words were. Back then the concept of personal space just didn't exist to him, especially when it came to the ladies. He felt so stupid for not coming to understand the concept of it sooner.

"But a certain someone taught me that it wouldn't do me any favors to stay angry at the people that had wronged me for the rest of my life." As she said that Ren could see just the slightest bit of sadness in her eyes. "Especially if that person was truly sorry and was making an effort to change." 

Yukiko had always been good at reading people, it came to her as naturally as playing games, so it was obvious to her that the quilt Ren was feeling because of the way he had treated her was real, and she could see clearly how, despite his clear effort of trying to change his ways and become a better person, it was eating him alive.

And although their situations weren't all that similar, she could relate to feeling like that about the way you used to be, Yukiko's knows all too well what it's like to absolutely hate yourself because of your past, and although her past did help her grow as a person, she still didn't wish the pain of feeling terrible about who you used to be on anyone else, even if that person had treated her poorly in the past.

"So that's why I told myself, that when you finally started to grow as a person and ever came to apologize to me, I would forgive you and then all of the bad blood between us could finally be washed away forever." As she said that, her beautiful eyes stared directly into his.

He didn't expect to be forgiven, he honestly didn't, he was completely convinced that it would never happen, if he had been in her shoes he wouldn't have forgiven himself either. After the things he's done to her, he honestly didn't deserve to be forgiven, and yet there she was, forgiving him with a gentle smile on her face, it was enough to cause tears to form in his eyes.

He wanted to ask her why, after the way he treated her, why would she ever even consider forgiving him? After all that had happened between them, what in god's name made her think that he was deserving of such kindness? But before he could even attempt to ask her any of those questions, his voice failed him yet again as a lump had started to form in his throat.

Yukiko just smiled at him one last time before deciding it was time for the two of them to go their separate ways. "It was nice finally getting to speak to you, Sakakibara-Kun." As she said that she turned around. "Goodbye for now, I hope we get to speak again in the future." And with that, she walked away.

Upon hearing her words Ren quickly blinked away the few tears that had started to form in his eyes, and before he could even stop himself from doing so, he called out to her. "Wait!" He said loudly, causing Yukiko to turn around and face him once more. He knows that it was selfish of him, but he didn't want her to leave just yet.

He straightened his posture in an attempt to look slightly more composed than he actually felt as he cleared his voice before speaking again. "Would you uh, maybe be interested in going somewhere together?" He asked her nervously. 

Never before had he felt so nervous simply asking a girl to hang out, he would often ask out more then even one girl a day to take them on romance book levels of romantic dates, but not even once had doing so made him feel nervous, and yet, right now just simply asking a girl to hang out with him does.

Yukiko's eyes went wide for a second, showing that his question had actually managed to surprise the mostly calm and serene women, even if just slightly. "I'd love to." And for the so manieth time in the short amount of time they've spent together, Yukiko smiled, it was a smile that Ren didn't mind seeing more often from now on.

#Assassination Classroom #Ansatsu Kyoushitsu #Sakakibara Ren #Ren Sakakibara #Kanzaki Yukiko #Yukiko Kanzaki #B5Week23 #Writing

[orzamara]

Аня, привет! У меня есть вопрос - it's fine if you don't want to answer!

Since I'm nonbinary myself, I wanted to ask how you refer to yourself in russian? or if you know which options people use? most google results i found are from 4-5 years ago so i'm not sure if they're up to date

спасибо большое 💙

hi, renée, it's all good! i am actually thrilled to have an opportunity to rant

the other day i was listening to a podcast with a russian comedian who recently came out as non-binary, and they said they were never able to fully comprehend just how thoroughly grammatically gendered the russian language is before deciding to go by different pronouns... and i've never felt more understood lol

this is going to be kind of long, because i love to talk about languages, but i'm also not an actual linguist, so excuse me if some of my wording is off

so, there are two most common options that i know of:

the first one is они/их, the equivalent of the english they/them

russian-speaking people often have the same old complaint about it being "strictly plural", But when referring to someone with the formal "you" ("вы"), which is the same word as the plural "you", the endings of the verbs are the same too (hence, a phrase like "Как вы себя чувствуете?" ("How are you feeling?") could be used for a singular person and no one would bat an eye)*, so it certainly has potential! it becomes much trickier when you're talking in first person, though, especially in past tense, as sentences like "Я чувствовали себя отлично" ("I felt great") sound "wrong" and grammatically incorrect to an unprepared ear

the second one is оно/его, the equivalent of the english it/its

yet again, the same complaint about it being intended for inanimate objects, and, therefore, dehumanizing. but we need to remember that while words like "солнце" (sun), "яблоко" (apple) or "одеяло" (blanket) are referred to as "оно", there are also words that mean inanimate objects that are referred to as "она" ("she"), like "стена" (wall), or as "он" ("he"), like "ковёр" (rug), and that doesn't suddenly make them living things. neither does it depend on anything more than "idk, it just sounded right" — like, nobody's going to argue that a rug somehow has more masculine qualities than a wall. so, i say we are certainly capable of moving past that

there are also always neopronouns, but i don't think i'm qualified enough to talk about them, so i just won't

that leaves us with two options that both sound strange at first, but start to feel more organic the more you hear it and the more you use it. or, in other words, language is ever-evolving, and we need to quit being little bitches about it

that being said, i go by она/её in russian — the funny thing about being bilingual is that seemingly equivalent things sometimes don't feel the same at all. i'm way more comfortable with она/её than i am with she/her. though, i've noticed that i'm not a huge fan of strangers using it, so i ask to be referred to by the formal "you" and just try to avoid using the first person past tense verbs by using passive voice or Rephrasing™ instead. i wish i could use они/их for myself, but i'm not ready for all the explaining it requires, at least yet

*i also came up with a different example, but i'm not sure how it classifies lol. anyway, sentences like, for example, "i was told" translate the same way as "they told me" — "мне сказали". even if it was just one person. all the more reasons to get over the fear of the singular "они"!

#this is so long that i'm even gonna tag it #russian #russian language #pronouns #non-binary #nonbinary

[letarasstuff]

Ranting

(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you like it :)

Summary: In the middle of midterms, Spencer's daughter has enough and for the first time in her life, she rants to the team

Warnings: one swear word, school, school stress, mental breakdown, shitty friends, a bit of angst (but there is fluff to balance that out), weird grammatical sentences that are according to google correct

Wordcount: 2.3k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________ As a teenager, Spencer was pretty closed off. But this had several reasons, like being a child (or moreover a teen prodigy) at college and getting his first Ph.D, or that he hadn’t had a safety net of people he could have gone to. So as he became a father himself, he tried everything possible to assure his own daughter that her feelings and thoughts are always welcome and valid.

Unfortunately (Y/N) herself has developed the same habit starting high school and ever since Spencer can’t do anything to get her to open up to him. It’s not like they don’t have a good relationship, they have one of the strongest father-daughter bonds the BAU has ever witnessed. The girl simply has other ways to cope with her feelings and how to act them out in the safety of her own four walls. Her father learned to accept it, knowing that he can’t and won’t force her to talk to him.

So what follows now not only shocked Spencer. But also his work family.

It’s the time every teen in high school dreads: Midterms.

A word a teacher can mutter and a shiver goes through the rows of students in the classroom. Or at least it feels like it to (Y/N). She takes her school work very seriously. In her mind every single grade determines her future.

The rational part in her knows that the grades in her sophomore year doesn’t matter. That they are even long forgotten when she graduates. There is just so much pressure on her. But it isn’t coming from her father.

Spencer is pretty laid-back regarding school. He knows his daughter is trying her best and that it’s just the tenth grade and not the end of the world. School is not everything life has to offer, especially he has to know it as a scholar and profiler flying through the country in a jet back and forth.

It’s (Y/N)’s classmates, who pressure her to get good grades.

“We depend on you and your notes”, Tyler exclaims as he jogs next to her through the busy hallway. “Ty, I know. But I don’t have the time to get them done for all of you to understand by tomorrow. They are still a mess that only I know to see through. I still have to finish my history project and I go to my Dad’s work this afternoon, which means I won’t get much done and I still have to do the homework I got today before sorting my notes for the test in two days.”

At her locker, the boy still doesn’t let go of the subject. “Do you want to say that our grades don’t matter as much as yours? Because this would be a true selfish statement.” Maybe it is the lack of sleep, because she pulled three all-nighters in two weeks, or the fact that she is slowly getting fed up being treated like an unpaid private teacher, but (Y/N) can’t stop her sassy answer. “Tyler, you wouldn't even know how to tell apart your ass from your head if it weren’t for me and my help in biology. You wouldn’t even know how to spell selfish if I didn’t let you copy my answers in spelling tests in elementary school.”

Done with the day and her friend’s shit, she slams the door of her locker shut and leaves a flabbergasted boy behind. Half an hour later the teenager enters the bullpen with her visitor badge clipped to the pocket of her sweater.

On the way there she was fuming. The audacity of her friends. It’s not only Tyler, who tried to get her notes of a unit, she was the only one listening, even though the teacher said loud and clear that this will be important for midterms. A few other friends out of the group she usually hangs out with texted her the same question of when her notes will be given to them. Understandably, (Y/N) comes into the office in the worst mood anyone from the team ever saw, including her own father.

“Hey Sweetheart”, he tries to greet her with a hug. Even though both of them are not big on touch, they are extra affectionate with people they are close to.

To everybody’s surprise, the girl takes a step back, effectively avoiding his open arms. “Hey”, she grumbles out before taking a seat in the chair already waiting for her. Nobody is allowed to sit in this one, except for her. Not even Derek has ever put his butt on this one, knowing the sacredness of it.

Without sparing anyone another glance, (Y/N) gets the needed stuff for that history project out and continues working on it. The team resorts to throwing a questiongly look to Spencer, who shrugs his shoulders with a look of despair. So everyone resumes their work without even daring to say a word.

The general silence is occasionally broken by an unnerved sigh leaving the teenager’s lips. “Is the conference room occupied?” She asks, her voice clearly showing how annoyed she is. Her father shakes his head. “No, not that I know of. Do you need help with your school work?” This is obviously the wrong thing to say. “Do I look like a baby? I don’t need anyone to help with that, I have been going to school for ten years now, I think I can handle this project as perfectly fine as I did since day one. It’s just your keyboard typing that will be the reason for my first grey hairs if I don’t get out of here soon.”

Quickly (Y/N) gathers her stuff and storms off into the conference room. Immediately the team crowds her father’s desk. “What happened?” “Who hurt her?” “Go, talk to her!”

“Guys, I don’t know what’s going on. I’m at the same loss as all of you. The only thing I know is that (Y/N) is under pressure, because it’s midterms. But judging by the way she reacted, I don’t want to go near her. It’s safer to try to defuse a bomb than talk to her in that mood. Last time I saw something similar, her favorite show was declared finished, got a revival and then didn’t get one and nobody mentioned it again. She was so mad, I think it took three years of her life.” A silence of uncertainty spreads through the room.

“What about we give her some room until she calms down?” JJ suggests, being unsure herself how to deal with a teenage girl. But the rest agrees and goes back to filling out their paperwork.

This continues for about 20 minutes, till a loud bang and a frustrated scream is heard followed by “DON’T THEY WANT TO GET IT OR ARE THEY JUST STUPID?!” Alerted by that, seven people (yes, even Dave and Aaron leave their offices, while Penelope was already in the bullpen) storm into the round table room only to see a more than outraged (Y/N).

“Sweetheart”, Spencer speaks to her in the gentlest voice they ever heard from him and slowly moves towards his daughter, “What’s going on?”

Her response is delayed by several deep breaths she has to take in order to be able to talk without seething. “ALL OF MY SO CALLED FRIENDS ARE ASKING ME FOR MY NOTES, like do I look like a personal tutor? And when I tell them that I got a life, a life outside of school and grades, because otherwise I go completely bananas, just like all of you say, they get mad. Now they act like I’m the most selfish person in the whole world. I’m so done, can’t they understand that they are old enough to take care of their own stuff? I’m not responsible for them, their grades or anything regarding their lives. Otherwise I would be the mother of at least four toddlers and one baby and at the age of sixteen I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. I know friends are there for eachother, and I really don’t mind helping them from time to time. But what they are doing is terror. Terror.

“Oh and don’t get me started on their tormention if I get something lower than an A-. Then they suddenly transform into geniuses, like they suddenly know everything possible. Of course, I’m the dumb one. I should have studied more.

“I am under an insane amount of pressure, because I know they rely on me, but enough is enough. I tell them that if anyone asks me for anything school related again and they act like I owe them an answer, I’ll cut off all ties to all of them. What am I, a roboter just there for their needs, without some of my own?”

After her long rant, (Y/N) takes a couple more breaths. It’s pretty much the only sound right now, because the team is stunned. None of them heard her talking, no ranting, like that. Not even her Spencer has seen her like that.

Realizing what she just said, the teenager fidgets nervously with her hands. “I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, you know, blow up like that. I, I really don’t know where this came from.” Nervously she scratches the back of her head. It really wasn’t her intention to let it out like that. Her plan was just to come home tonight and deal in the confinement of her own four walls with all of her feelings. It’s easier to be honest to yourself when you are alone than having an audience watching you losing it.

Suddenly (Y/N) finds herself engulfed in a massive bear hug. “Oh, my sweet sweet summerchild. You needed to rant to us and I’m so happy you did. Even though your uhm, friends, sound like big douchebags, we can help you sort something out”, Penelope tells her while keeping her arms around the teen.

“Just like lil mama said, we are here for you, Baby Reid. Don’t ever be afraid to tell us something, may it even be as small as you having stubbed your toe.” Morgan ruffles her hair and gives her a reassuring smile.

Just like them everybody shows her their support, be it encouraging words or affectionately gestures. Rossi invites her to a calm and quiet dinner at his mansion, cooking class included. Hotch assures her that she will get through this rough patch, with or without these fake people. JJ suggests (Y/N) comes over to her home and she can participate in a family game night at their home.

When it’s Emily’s turn, she makes sure to get her message loud and clear by looking the teen in the eyes (not as deep as it sounds, because some people make an intense stare really uncomfortable): “If those kids give you a hard time again, tell me. I’ll pay them a visit in classic protective godmother fashion, because nobody traits MY godchild like this. Just give me their names and I’ll handle the rest.” Obviously she doesn’t say this aloud in front of everyone, else Hotch will have her head, knowing she goes through with her threats. Instead she whispers it into the teen’s ear. Still, it makes (Y/N) smile, having such a strong support net.

Sensing the family’s need for time of their own to talk about the whole situation, the team leaves the room. Spencer gestures to her to take a seat after moving two chairs opposite each other. He wants her not to feel trapped.

“Do you still want to talk about it? It doesn’t have to be now, we can do it tonight, tomorrow, in a week or in a month. Just, please don’t shut me out. I know it’s difficult to be a teenager, especially in times like these. But it won’t do you any good keeping all of this for yourself. Today you took it out through anger. How will it look next time?

I don’t want to pressure you into talking. We don’t need to. We can find other coping mechanisms. We can try and reduce your stress. Anything. But we both know that this is not the right way.” While speaking, he takes his daughter’s hand, making her look up to him.

(Y/N) nods. Her eyes fill with tears. “I just can’t keep going like this.” She whispers, feeling all the stress, pressure and the intensity of the last few weeks crashing down on her. Quickly Spencer gathers her in his arms, letting her cry in his embrace.

After calming down, she looks up to her father with bloodshot eyes. “We can talk tonight. But I need you to do me a favor.” “Anything”, he assures her, stroking a hand along her back. “I, uhm, I need a new phone. I may or may not have thrown mine against the wall after getting a text from Tyler.”

Spencer looks at the crooked cell laying on the floor, the screen cracked. “I think we can get that sorted”, he tells her with a smile and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

The two of them leave the office earlier, having many things to talk about and many problems to solve. But with the help of her family (Y/N) gets through this, a time where people unfortunately only like her for her smarts and not being herself.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187 @kneelforloki

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x teen!reader #spencer reid x daughter!reader #Emily Prentiss x teen!reader #Penelope Garcia x teen!reader #Derek Morgan x teen!reader #x teen!reader #x daughter!reader #reid!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #reader insert

[fearfully-fiction]

Loftus Hall pt. 8-Dakota Laden x Reader

Word count:4245

warnings: Language, fluff, hopefully no grammatical errors. That’s all I can really think of! 

Summary: Based on season 3, episode 16 of DF. so, all credit to the crew, the show, and the channel/streaming service. The night comes to an end, and the reader wonders if she’s too close to her breaking point to continue with the show. 

This is the end of the series! We made it, you guys stuck with me once again and once again I am forever grateful for the love and support I get from you. I have to say Loftus Hall is one of my favorite episodes, and I am so happy that I got to write this for you all! Thank you again, and more Category Imagines will be here soon! 

I love you to the moon and to Saturn!

-M.G

(gif not mine!)

You sit back on your cot and sigh, you’re trying not to let the negativity slip into your mind. Instinctively you reach up and play with the band around your wrist. It was wrapped around your wrist and as soon as you looked down at it you remembered what happened to it. And your eyes fell to his hoodie which was also ruined from the earlier incidents. The hallway fell silent and immediately Dakota became worried. “Babe, you ok?” he asked. Your eyes were watery. “Oh, um, yeah I’m fine just thinking,” you said trying to keep the tears at bay. 

“Thinking is a dangerous thing sometimes you know,” he said. You sighed, “I know,” your voice involuntarily broke. Dakota was out of his seat in an instant his flashlight turned on and sat next to you. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked wrapping his arm around your shoulder. He saw you fiddling with the band, “What’s on your mind?” he asked sweetly. 

“I’m sorry Dakota,” you told him. He looked at you in confusion, “What are you sorry for?” he asked in bewilderment. “I ruined this,” you said and lifted up your arm so he could see the band he had given you and his hoodie. He could see what you meant and he sighed. “Babe, it’s ok. Don’t be sorry it’s not your fault, plus it’s one of many, and I can always get a new one. Don’t worry about it. I’m happy you had it, at least a part of me was there.” he said softly ending his sentence. “Dakota, I’m really sorry for all of what’s happened tonight. This investigation was supposed to be amazing and-” He cut you off, “No, stop. Stop apologizing for something you had no idea was going to happen. None of us knew, but now we do, and we’ll do better in the future. We won’t let anything like this happen to any one of us again.” He said and kissed your temple softly. 

“The fans probably think less of me don’t they?” you asked quietly. “They would never. They will understand, I’m sure some of them would do the same as you if they went through what you did. They love you and don’t want to see you hurt. They would never think less of you.” he said and you leaned into him more. “Thank you for loving me Dakota,” you said and looked up at him. He looked down at you and kissed your forehead. “That’s the silliest thing you have ever thanked me for. I love you, and I will always love you no matter what, and I never, ever need you to thank me for that. And I know you’ll do the same for me.” Dakota said and this time leaned down to press a kiss on your lips. One of his hands slipped into your hair while the other interlaced your fingers. 

The kiss carried on for a few more seconds before you separated. 

He could see how tired you were, the smile on your face was sleepy as you looked up at him. He pushed a piece of hair out of your face, “I think it’s time we try and get some rest, don’t you think?” he asked you gently as he stroked your cheek. 

You were hesitant at the idea seeing as it would cause even more vulnerability, and it scared you. The thought of resting made you completely unnerved, but you knew that he was only trying to help and so you agreed. “Yeah ok,” you said with a single nod. He kissed the top of your head as he got up from his spot next to you. You were afraid to let his hand go and so you held onto it for a few seconds longer before having to suck it up and let go. 

He gingerly grabbed your legs and stretched them out on the cot, before helping you settle down, and place your head on the makeshift pillow that always seemed to fall off of the cot. “You know I could have done this by myself right?” you joked softly. “I’m well aware, but I wanted to,” he said and leaned down to peck your lips. 

You watched him get settled on his own cot before taking a quiet breath. You tried to keep the earlier events from creeping into your mind, you were fighting to keep the fact that Dakota was next to you in your mind. You didn’t want to slip away again, it was dark, and you could hear every little creak and noise the building made. You were freezing cold, and you knew in your mind if it got any colder, something was with you. You knew that “something”, all too well, yet not at all and you were beginning to panic inside. That thing in the room could not have been Anne, maybe the emotions you felt were because of her but what physically hurt you and mentally pulled you apart, you knew deep down that that was not Anne. 

Dakota could feel the atmosphere change and he knew something wasn’t right with you. His flashlight was on as he sat up and looked over at you. You were tense, and he could tell that you were scared. 

“Sweetheart,” he spoke up just enough for you to hear. The sound of his voice made you turn to look at him with the best cover-up you could muster. “Yeah, are you ok?” you asked trying to keep it all locked away. 

“You’re not.” he outright told you. You looked at him with no surprise on your face, no shock or anything. Just defeat, and embarrassment. You should have known that Dakota would see right through you, you had always been easy for him to read, and so that made this situation easier for him. “I’m really not,” you said and looked at him sadly. You were incredibly disappointed in yourself for feeling the way that you did. Having the constant anxiety and dread that he may leave you at any second was making you feel ashamed and childish. 

He walked over to you and picked you up gently, minding your bruises and such. He carried you over to his cot and somehow maneuvered around to find a comfortable spot for you both. His back was to the wall and you sat in between his legs with his arms around your waist. You held the flashlight and both walkies were with you. 

Dakota was incredibly uncomfortable, but he would never tell you that. He wanted you to feel safe and he knew that holding you would do just that. He rested his head in the crook of your neck and placed sweet kisses there every now and again. He felt you relax a bit more, but he knew there were still things raging in your mind. “Talk to me babe,” he whispered. You let out a heavy sigh and decided to just tell him everything on your mind, you knew you needed to. You couldn’t keep it in like that.

“I’m scared to be alone. I’m scared that it will come back. I don’t think Anne was the one who did that to me. There was something negative in that room, I mean more negative than it should’ve felt. I don’t think Anne would physically harm me, and something in there did that. I think that something dragged me across the floor. Something was there with me, and I really don’t know what it was, I don’t want to process what happened. It means I’ll have to live through it again and I don’t want to do that Dakota, I’m too scared.” you said sadly. He could hear the fear behind the sadness and wished he could just take it all away. “I won’t let anything hurt you, and that thing you felt in that room it won’t come around anymore. Nothing like that will happen again, and I promise you that you won’t be alone. I know you’re scared, but processing is something that has to happen no matter how it makes us feel. We have to process things to heal, and I’m here to help you through all of that.” he told you and kissed your shoulder. 

As he spoke to you his words began to calm you but still, not everything left your mind. The fear was still there just a bit lessened, the pain you felt was still vivid and you just wished it would stop. 

You were silent for a while and it began to make him nervous, he let go of your waist with one arm so he could move your hair away from your face but before he could get too far you quickly grabbed his arm to bring it back around you. “Please, don’t let go,” you said timidly. “I won’t let go, babe. I won’t let go. Just close your eyes and try to rest. I’m not letting go.” he said and leaned forward to kiss your cheek. He didn’t want to hold you too tightly seeing as he didn’t want to hurt you, but he felt your smaller hands gripping his arms making sure to hold him to you. He knew he had to be on high alert to keep you safe and that’s exactly what he planned on doing. 

Your eyes closed and you tried to relax, his hold on you made you lose some tension knowing you were safe and secure but when you tried to will yourself to sleep it scared you too much. 

You don’t know how long you sat there but after some time you began to feel hazy and sleepy. You were getting more comfortable in his arms and it made you finally begin to push some of the fears away. 

All of a sudden you hear a “Hello!” coming from the back staircase and you jump. Dakota instinctively holds you a bit tighter and you cringe at the slight pain. “What was that Kota?” you asked shakily. He felt how tightly you were holding onto him and nudged your cheek with his nose gently, “It was just Alex babe, don’t be scared.” he said, you could feel his warm breath fan across your cheek and you once again began to relax in his hold. 

“Yo, Alex you good?!” Dakota called, and his loud voice made you tense a bit. He rubbed up and down your sides in a soothing manner. 

Your ears perked up wanting to hear Alex’s response needing to know if he was ok. 

“Dude, did you hear that?!” you heard his voice travel up the stairs. Confusion came over you, “No, we didn’t hear that,” Dakota answered. “Something is moving down the staircase. It almost sounded like creaking.” Alex explained what he heard. Your heart leaped when he used the word “something”. Dakota could feel you become slightly uncomfortable at the use of the word. 

“That had to have come from closer to you,” Dakota told him. 

He looked down at you and saw the worry on your face, and he knew it was partially because Alex didn’t say anything back. 

“Alex, do you need me to come down there?” you called. Dakota looked at you like you were crazy. You were absolutely horrified but you didn’t want anything to happen to him, his safety was extremely important to you seeing as he was practically your brother. “What the hell?” Dakota asked quickly. 

“No, of course not. Not at all, I’m fine ok if I need anything I’ll come up to you guys. You’re not leaving his side.” Alex explained to you. 

You sighed, “You promise to get me if you need me, Al,” You told him. “I promise (y/n/n). I’ll see you in the morning,” he promised you. “Ok, I love you, Alex,” you called. “Love you too,” he answered back. It made you let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“What the hell was that about?” Dakota asked. “He seemed scared Kota, and I didn’t want anything to happen to him. Dakota, he said ‘something’ was on the stairs. I don’t want it to be that thing.” you explained to your boyfriend. He sighed heavily before pulling you close again. “He knows to come up here if he needs us ok. Nothing will hurt him I promise,” he said and you nodded gingerly, resting your head on his chest once again. 

He continued letting his hands run up and down your sides. He felt you nuzzle against his jacket and relax in his hold. “We’ll be alright,” he whispered before kissing your head. 

---

It was a bit later and Dakota was still up, just looking around, listening for anything weird. 

 He suddenly jolted up which obviously brought you with him. You let out a yelp of pain at the sudden movement. “Woah!” he said. He turned his flashlight on and pointed it down the hallway. “Dakota, what’s wrong?” you asked fearfully. “I thought I just saw, just like a swirl,” he explained. You looked at him despite the awkward position you were sitting in. “What?” you question. 

“A big swirl of black, like movement behind my far camera.” he described what he saw. Your eyes were filled with fear. And you began to feel that looming sense of dread, it was almost like it was just waiting. You tried to curl in yourself just like you had done in the tapestry room. Dakota hadn’t really noticed it yet, too invested and nervous about what he saw. 

“Hey, Alex!” Dakota called to his friend. You jumped at his loud tone so close to your ear. At the feeling of your jolt, he naturally brought you closer to him. You could hear a faint curse and it almost made you let out a small smile knowing he was ok. “Yeah!” he answered. 

“Yo, did you just come up the stairs?” Dakota asked him. His answer made your stomach sink, “no,” You heard him say loud and clear. You felt like something was just creeping around and it was causing fear and anxiety to arise in you. 

“Ok dude, I swear I just saw, like a shadow or something. Behind my camera.” Dakota said, and you held the arm that was holding you opting to bury your face in his neck. 

“Dude, I’m way down here. I’m three floors below you.” Alex replied and it made you shiver. You tried to keep the negative feelings at bay. 

“Okay,” he sighed heavily. “I thought I saw something, I don’t know though like my eyes could have been playing tricks on me. I know, we’re really scared up here right now,” he said and felt you nod. 

“Okay, well, we’re just gonna lay down,” he said and gently pulled you with him making sure not to hurt your bruises while he did so. “How did you even see it in the dark like this?” you asked softly. 

“I don’t even know how I saw that because it’s so dark in here. My eyes definitely got adjusted and saw something,” he said and you felt sick.

You had felt the feeling of dread build up but tried to push it away when all was silent. He kissed your head and held you close trying to make you feel safe. 

Your head was facing the end of the hall and as you looked down there you became extremely uneasy. You tugged on your boyfriend’s sweater. “Dakota,” you said softly. He looked down at you in concern, “What’s wrong babe?” he asked you. You pointed down the hall and looked down there in confusion. “I think something is down there in the doorway,” you explained to him the fear evident in your voice. 

“Don’t look, focus on me. Look at me, don’t look there. You could make out his features in the dark. “Do you feel this?” he asked and reached down to run his hand up your leg, you nodded your head. “Good, focus on me, focus on what I’m doing. It’s just me, I’m the only one here with you, nothing else. You just feel me.” he whispered so you could feel his breath against your ear. You could feel him move so he could easily encase you further. His lips placed kisses on your neck and shoulder while one of his hands settled on your stomach putting a gentle pressure there so you could feel him holding you. 

He kept you in his hold like that for a while doing his best to will away the monster that crept into your mind. He soon felt that you had relaxed, and you stayed that way for the rest of the night. He knew how exhausted you were and he was just glad that he could help you somehow. He loved you more than anything and hated to see you so broken. 

He looked down at you and sighed knowing he had to wake you up, but he knew you would be more than ready to get out of this place. 

“Sweetheart,” he said softly and moved some hair away from your face. Your eyes fluttered open, and you looked at your boyfriend. “What’s wrong?” you asked softly. “Nothing, our time is up, we can leave now. We made it,” he told you with a smile. You perked up at his words, you were more than ready to leave. You had some tears in your eyes but a smile on your face. “It’s over?” you questioned. “It’s over,” he confirmed before placing a kiss on your head. 

You moved from your position so your legs were off the edge and your feet were on the ground. Dakota did the same, 

“We have been in our sleeping arrangements for a couple of hours now, and it is finally time to pack up and get out of here,” he said and looked over at you. “Alright, let’s just fuck off now. Get everyone out and let’s leave this place,” you said and immediately stood up. Dakota let out a laugh before helping pack everything away. You managed to carry all of your things despite the pain you felt. You met everyone along the way. 

You packed up the gear room and walked outside to wait for the RV. before you all did your monologues you stopped them for a second. 

“Guys, can I talk to you for a minute?” you asked your friends. “Of course, what’s up? Chelsea asked as they all walk over to you. They try not to stare at the bruises and such that were much more visible in the light. They still couldn’t comprehend how hurt you had gotten. It broke their hearts. 

“I know last night was a mess. I’m so sorry for everything. I really love you guys, and I want you to know that um-- you know what never mind. I just love you guys so much and I wouldn’t have gotten through that if I didn’t have you.” you told them deciding to leave out the part where you would suggest that it was ok if they didn’t want you on the road trips anymore. 

“We love you too, and you have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t your fault at all. If anything it was partially ours for letting you go in there.” Tanner said. You looked at him like he was crazy. “That’s crazy, it’s not your fault, you had no idea any of that would happen. It’s not your fault, any of yours,” you told them sternly. They knew not to fight you anymore. You were glad they left your unsaid words alone. 

You walked over to Chelsea and wrapped her in a big hug. She hugged you back tightly but tried not to put too much pressure on any bruises they may not have seen. “I love you so much Chels,” you told her before pulling away. “I love you too (y/n),” she responded and you smiled brightly at her before moving on to Tanner. “Thank you for being my big brother,” you told him before hugging him tightly. His eyes widened at your statement and he held onto you for just a while longer than he normally would. “I love you, sis,” he said and you responded the same. Next up was Alex and you immediately threw your arms around his neck holding him as tight as possible. “I’m so glad you’re ok. You have no idea how worried I was. I didn’t want my brother to get hurt. I love ya too much,” you said and he chuckled a bit. “You know I’d never get hurt, not when I have a sister to look out for,” he said and said his I love you as well. You stepped back from everyone. You turned to Dakota and they knew it was their cue to leave. 

You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist. “You’re too good to me,” you told him. He looked down at you, “You deserve more than just that, and I promise I have so much more left to give. “ he told you and you leaned up on your toes to kiss him softly. “I’ll always do the same for you. Always,” you said. He smiled. “I know,” he replied and kissed your nose. 

“How about we finish this up and get out of here for good,” he said and you nodded eagerly. He chuckled and gently nudged you to go do your ending monologue. You smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. 

---

“I never thought that a place like this would get me the way it did. It was a battle for everyone, and I’m so proud and not at all surprised they made it through. You know the history of this place, all the legends… well don’t underestimate any of it if you come here. Because when you walk through that door it comes to life, all of it, and it feels more real than you ever thought it would. What happened in the Tapestry room is something I will have to process for a long time. It’s gonna take a lot to heal from it physically and mentally. I’m going, to be honest, I feel like I’m on the very edge of my breaking point and with the slightest nudge, it would be just a free fall. One more stop, and I just hope that it won’t be like this one. I love you guys, and take care of each other.” You finished off and let out a huge sigh of relief knowing you got to leave. 

You got up and helped put everything away before getting in the RV. You walked past everyone and straight to the back to get out of your shorts and into a pair of sweats, along with a different hoodie. 

Everyone looked at you in confusion, before they saw you come back just to go into the bathroom with a new pair of clothes and they understood. Dakota got up and knocked on the door softly. 

You had just taken off your hoodie and tears came to your eyes when you saw the bruises on your arms. When you heard the knock you instantly jump, “(y/n), you ok?” you heard your boyfriend’s voice and you let yourself relax. “I’m fine Kota,” you said softly. “I’m here if you need me, babe,” he said and went to walk away. You shut your eyes tightly before sighing heavily, you didn’t want to be alone but you didn’t want to be a bother even though you knew he would always help.

You tried to put the hoodie on but a pain shot through your arm because of how tender the bruises were. You didn’t want anyone to see your bruises just yet and so you pushed through and eventually got it on. You sighed and opened the door before putting your other clothes away. 

Getting up the courage you walked back out and sat next to your boyfriend, flashing everyone a smile. “You guys doing ok?” you asked timidly. They looked at you in confusion but nodded. “Yeah, we’re fine are you?” Chelsea asked. “Oh yeah, Just tired and you know not very comfortable with the whole--” you paused to gesture to your injuries now hidden. “You know, I just wanted to get more comfortable, sorry to worry you if I did,” you told them. “It’s ok, we get it. You don’t have to explain anymore.” Dakota said and kissed your head trying to calm the nerves he could feel that you had. 

You ended up turning toward him and away from everyone else. He placed your legs over his so you could find that safe space in his arms. 

He looked down at you and knew not to ask about your arm just yet, he just let you rest because that’s what you needed. 

Everyone looked at you and each of them was worried that this was something you might not come back from. They were worried that this was your breaking point. 

And little did they know that was your worry too, you didn’t want it to be, but you didn’t want to continue to put yourself into situations that were too much for you. But as everything is, it’s up to fate to see if you stay standing or fall. 

---

Taglist: 

@jaziona92

@beautybyfire

@thefandomthings

@kippykasey

@kristin813

@katelynanna

@nyx2021​

#dakota laden #dakota laden imagine #dakota laden x reader #gac dakota #dakota laden fic #dakota laden fanfic #dakota laden x you #dakota laden x y/n #Destination Fear #destination fear imagine #destination fear x reader #destination fear one shots #trvl channel #destination fear trvl channel #chelsea laden #alex schroeder #Tanner Wiseman

[rosyk]

Clichè

pairing: lee minho x reader

genre: heavy or light angst, fluff, marriage, misunderstandings

warnings: light curses, situations that involves deep anger or sadness, mentions of disease, death(?)

word count: 5.2k

a/n: Hi it’s your gal, rosyk. I’m back with writing fanfictions and it’s like 4 in the morning. I haven’t slept yet so there are many grammatically incorrect sentences or spelling errors. Hope you enjoy this one though! (Inspired by Dear John- Taylor Swift)

I sat by the car, the same old one he and I used to drive in. This was a simple car but we swore to use this for our wedding since memories are still stuck. It made me wonder what could’ve happened if everything went right? What would’ve happened to us if there were no obstacles in life? It then made me realize that indeed there were no obstacles, none other than you.

I drove the car to meet your sister who desperately needed to talk to me. She said there were secrets I needed to know but I get the gist of what she’s trying to do. Set me up? Trap me? Convince me? So I could be tempted to get back into your cage? I don’t want that to happen, never again. I’m sick and tired of this one-sided relationship I never noticed because I was blinded. Aced all my tests, I am smart. But when it comes to you, I look like a whole fool trying to fall in love with a guy who gave up. This is why I wanted to show her that I’ve moved on, at least based on my view. Wearing both of my earphones and played our song, I sighed deeply and continued to drive along Cornelia street. My days only revolved around you but what exactly went wrong in between us? Scratch that, what happened to you?

Back then, all I could do was love you. Not less but everything more. I could never stand loving you lesser each day. It’s not on obsessing but to the point that I recognize your feelings though still, I try to force myself. You know how I do grow tired from time to time, but that’s all because I care for you. There’s not much positivity from that though. The downfall happens when I love you much more than you feel for me. It was never equal no matter how I try to persuade myself, desperately needing your affection.

My mother used to tell me how crazy I was to fall for a guy like you. How was I supposed to tell her you were fine since then? Yesterday, you rained me with care. On Friday, you sucked it all up and acted as if nothing happened. All I could do was pray that the guy I used to know, is the one I’ll meet today and greet me in front of the door with wide gentle hugs.

You give me hope, then take it back all at once. I remembered a sunny sky in blue that suddenly turned grey after you decided to shrug me off several times. I was in your tiny piece of chess game. Though you change the rules every day, hoping I would give up until the end. What’s funny is that typically families opposing would be the ones who would give tests to both of the couples to prove their love. And yet, you were the one who was trying to give me a hard time and when I was lost in the thought of giving you up, you decided to save me at the end of the day.

You were a puzzle I couldn’t solve. Little did I know, there was a missing piece I could never find until then. Just like a whole puzzle, you were complicated but due to my drive and need, I had to hang on to my aim. I had to do it because I was convinced by all your “sorry“. Or maybe it’s just me trying to change my mindset to find a reason to stay because I knew there was no difference between all your other sorrys before.

“Which Minho would I be able to talk to on the phone?” It runs through my mind each Sunday of my life and gives me anxiety. But every time I hear the phone ring? I never hesitated to pick it up. No matter what kind of guy I am faced with, I wanted to know deeper why you were acting so confusing. But on that single day, I didn’t pick up the phone. I cried and had sleepless nights. My worst nightmare just came and here’s why:

“Don’t you think this is a good improvement? We’ll sit by the couch and place a big screen tv.” You placed your arm above my shoulder and I continued your lovely story.

“Then we’ll watch your performances?” I looked at you in the eye, grinning as you smirked at my idea. You hummed in question and tilted your head. “Lee Minho, the most famous kpop idol who reached internationally and was supported by his lovely fans” I placed both of my hands above, imaging a billboard banner with your name and face on it. Thousands of people watching and idolizing you.

“Really?” You shifted your position into a more comfortable one as I leaned on your chest. Nodding at my suggestion, you pressed your lips together and listened to me, getting all happy after trying to predict and set goals in our lives.

“Of course! Why not?” I turned my head to face you and gave you a slight hit. “I could feel the energy of the universe as if it's trying to tell me that was our fate” You playfully laughed at the girl in front of you who is telling such an exaggerating fairytale. “Besides, ” I went back to my position and grabbed your arms around my waist. “Your number one fan is just a surgeon anyway” You responded with an oh? as you began to get amused with my statements. “A surgeon who never failed to help people even in a situation full of pressure. The best surgeon in the district” I smiled in a bragging manner, lifting my hand to flip my hair.

“I like that” you nodded in approval. “But don’t you think it’s much better with the title, the best surgeon found around the world?” My eyes lit up with stars because indeed that was a better match. I grinned and raised my eyebrow.

“That’s better” an idea popped up and so I turned back once again. You looked at me in confusion and waited until I would continue what I wanted to say. “But how about the dating ban? Does that mean we have to keep it low?” You looked at me concerningly and so I did. Panic arose in my mind. “Or maybe we-“

You placed your hand up my lip and shushed me. Everything is going to be fine, you tried to assure me. Lifting up your hand and caressed my face, you continued and stared at my pouty lips. “Of course not. It’s you,” with a silent pause, you pointed directly at me with a lovingly stare “and I” you did the same back at yourself and held my hand, enclosing it together. “against the whole world”. You chuckled whilst you tipped your forehead on mines.

“Too cliché” I laughed at you but no doubt that made my heart flutter. Oh, how I wish he knew how much I love him.

[MONTHS LATER]

“Do you have everything packed?” I sighed deeply the minute I rummaged through the closet. I stopped as soon as I saw the yellow hoodie hung inside. “You forgot the hoodie!” I chuckled though scared, deeply hoping this isn’t what I think it is.

“That’s your favorite. Keep it” he smiled but those words pierced straight through me. I felt what he meant. My last token for our relationship, isn’t it? What happened to all those you and I against the world? Were all those just things to make me feel relieved?

“Oh” I responded dryly and gulped, pressing my lips together to stop these drops from falling. “Mhm, ’kay” I closed the closet and faced the guy who’ll soon be leaving. “Go” You looked at me with pity and everything I didn’t want to see in your eyes. I’m okay, at least that’s what I like to believe. As I was busy trying to act tough because I don’t want you to see me being vulnerable once again, you gave me the warmth I needed. A necessity in my dark days.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone, maybe quite busy but I’d never wanted to split up with you” I finally cried after everything. It was a big wash down of emotions and you felt sorry again. It was a painful sight for you, I know.

“But those hoodies..” sniffs went in between those sobs. As usual, you tried to assure me by caressing my face. It was an act to show that we’ll still stay the same.

“I want you to return this to me after I become an idol. I want you to promise you’ll hold on to us. Wait for me okay?” That was the first and last time I’ve ever seen you cry. It hurts deep bad, but I didn’t want to be an obstacle to your goal as well. I’ll wait no matter how many years it may take.

[DECEMBER OF 2018]

Hey, I’m not sure if you still received my letters. It’s been long, don’t you think? I feel like you don’t remember me anymore but I was your first love haha. Would you still be able to know me after I come back there? I’ve heard you all over the news. Minho, the guy who brought K-pop internationally and broke the Billboard charts. I told you that you’d make it. Me? I’m now a surgeon. Not internationally, but definitely in the district. I’ll get there soon, right? One more question, can I return the hoodie? I did wait for you, hoping you did as well.

I sighed for only God knows how many times for this day. The more I’ve been sending letters, the less I’ve been receiving.

I held on to the letter and got up from my bed after hearing a call once again. The last time I was able to sleep was decades ago and so I had to go back to work. Luckily, it wasn’t a heavy operation but I just had to check-in by the hospital to get the patient’s results.

“Good afternoon, Mrs!.” My patient joked and I could clearly see my best friend smirking.

“Maddie! Stay safe when you get home alright?” I smiled greeting the patient who joked before getting ready to leave

“Hey, hey it’s not too safe to go outside yet. Call someone to assist you. Take care!” Another response of mine was said after a boy who was operated on and took rest for three weeks passed by me.

Beaming from ear to ear, I squealed and hugged my best friend tight. “ALICEEE!” It’s been years since I’ve seen her. She accompanied Min on his way to Korea. And before any of the readers misunderstand, they are siblings. Quite awkward at first if I must say but it’s great to know lots of information about him.

“Hush, we’re in your workplace. You told me that, right? Alice, don’t scream or get hyper whenever you’d come back here.” She mimicked the way I talked in an insulting manner, not that I’m offended by it. We just like to mimic one’s tone as a sign of sarcasm. “Well, look who’s talking?” She furrowed both of her eyebrows as I laughed and took my hands off her.

“So how was Korea, Lisa? Did you find someone? Maybe that guy who you friend-zoned at?” I started chuckling after seeing her blank face. It was honestly funnier to see her reaction. Her stop-it-kind-of-face made my laugh gradually get lower but never failed to make a remark soon after. I thought of someone and so I tried to casually ask her about it. “How are you and Min? Was Korea that good? Just wanted to ask because I’m scared to get into their hospital” I shrugged it off but saw her eyebrow raise. Of course, she always knows what’s up.

“So is this why you’re called Mrs.? Mrs. Lee?” Now it was her turn to laugh. I playfully pouted and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I acted all offended, placing my hand to my chest as if I took it to heart “It’s miss for you, Mrs. friend-zoned” Rolling my eyes and entered my room, her never-ending saga of teasing me continued.

An hour came by after packing all my things left in the hospital room and we talked about our lives. She still never told me a single thing about Min because of her chattiness. We got in the car and went to the airport. My flight has been called and so I had to leave.

“Wish we could’ve spent more time. I’ll come back soon anyways after visiting the hospital” she hugged me so tight causing me to be so confused.

“Min.. I tried to talk to him” I looked at her in the eye asking for some problems that happened years before. Though no words that came out of her were expected.

“But he didn’t want to hear anything about you”

Hours came by like a flash but my thoughts filling out my mind went by for years. I arrived at my destination but is this truly where I am destined to be in? I knew there was something much more than her words because her voice was shaky.

I didn’t leave a single minute to go by my hospital though. Work always comes by my mind. But usually, I would hang by the café in your building hoping to see you pass by. There were no people because I was busy studying late at night after the closing time. It was scary, but I was too busy to notice.

“I miss you! I’ll come by soon, okay? You better wait for me, sweetie. Love you, take care!” I smiled after hearing my patient’s voice. She was a lovely kid and it seems like I wasn’t the only one missing her as well. It had just been a day yet Yeina has been panicking through the whole call.

“Got a boyfriend now?” The one who talked suddenly came up near my seat and giggled. It was cute but I was busy closing all my documents. Besides, it was not that important. I responded unknowingly but was cut after hearing the voice.

“No, it was my patient. She’s a cute kid” I looked up and God-, was that the biggest thing I regretted but enjoyed at the same time. The guy I waited for years was the same guy who didn’t want to hear anything that involves me. The guy who didn’t want to talk, approached me first with the same smile as if nothing happened. I don’t know what to feel nor what to say. It took whole 5 minutes of me trying to smile awkwardly.

“So, no hugs, internationally known surgeon who cured people around the world for the guy who is loved by his lovely fans?” You looked at me shocked but smiled as soon as I got back to my senses. Everything still remained vivid in your head when I thought it wouldn’t be.

I went up to you and cried in your embrace. The same warmth, it never changed even after all those years. “I thought you had forgotten” I tried to explain though it came out as short phrases because of my sobs. You held my head to nuzzle near your neck and caressed my hair, patting in between.

“Thank you for waiting even in tough times. You did good, doctor”

[WEEKS LATER]

Yes, it just had been weeks. Everything was good but turned downhill soon after. I don’t know what’s hitting on you because you just turned.. off.

“ARE YOU CRAZY?” I yelled after you constantly trying to ignore me. “Wow, so now you’re deaf?” I exclaimed as I held on to your arm and making you turn around and face me.

“You wouldn’t understand anyway!” Loud shoutings were just everything that was heard in the room. I am patient but was frustrated that moment you took on that dumb decision.

“So now I was wrong here? YOU QUITTED THAT FKING JOB OF YOURS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT? YOU FELT BORED? The world doesn’t adjust for you! It’s not like you are the reason why the Earth revolves! It’s not easy to find a new goal and get it as soon as possible!” I expressed all my thoughts because things weren’t matching up. Who the hell leaves something just because he or she was bored? I felt like there was something more to it but why do you seem so nonchalant about it? It was that easy of a decision to make?

“SHIT!” You grabbed the vase and smashed it on the floor. That shocked me. I was clearly shaking yet I tried to stand by my point.

“Why did you come back here anyway?” I felt the world stopped. No, because he was actually true. Why did I come back here? Expecting that the love of my life would be the same even when it had been years he didn’t bother to call? Even after all these years, the guy I waited for would remain the same? After all the dating issues, he would stay irrelevant and think of me every day? I was just a surgeon not even known worldwide. Who am I to him?

“You’re right. I’m nothing to you anyway.” I packed up quickly placing all of my clothes unorganized. It was easy to get into someone but how is leaving not the same?

You tried calling me out but I left due to my blind optimism over the week. I came back to Korea but you soon got me with all those sorry. That was just a single moment that left a scar on me deeply. But now that I think of it, I was used to it because you were an on and off switch

The first day of a week you asked me out on a date then suddenly you claimed to have forgotten about it. You’d tell me how much you loved me, yet add me to the list of traitors who wouldn’t understand a single thing. It was basically just a love or leave me game of yours. It went on for months that I was tired of it. Sick of everything else but you suddenly turned nice again. I waited for the moment you would hate me as usual but it never came by. Was it because you finally realized how much you had hurt me or were you trying to be nice because you were planning a sudden break-up. Maybe a Dear Jane letter? I was scared because I feel like it was more of the latter.

But after all the overthinking, another unexpected thing came by. You spoke the words:

“I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through after everything I’ve done. It hurts so bad and I don’t want to see you taking all that pain anymore. I never had forgotten about you not even a single bit of my life. I made decisions that could lessen your pride and was also close-minded with all your opinions. But my love for you stays true which is why I wanted to stop seeing you cry. The only tears I’ll ever allow you to shed is the one I needed all my life. The words I wanted to wait for you on. This might be the most clichè thing you’ll ever see, but will you marry me?”

I could never get over that preparation of yours. Because who’d knew you were actually into those surprises? I looked at the ring and smiled at it. How precious this is to me. But time surely passes by fast.

Looking at myself in a white gown, we passed by on lots of obstacles but it felt like yesterday even though it took even years to convince my mother and bless the marriage. She allowed but was forced to.

I still remembered how my mom used to hit me several times every day just to understand if there was something wrong with my head, but apologized soon after because she believed my father was watching from heaven. Mom had many beliefs and one of them was to ask my father whether to accept me. She used to tell me with not a missing day left aside, “run as fast as you can”. Up until now, I find it too hilarious.

“Aren’t you rushing too much? You’re still nineteen” the one who placed my natural makeup on, whispered in my ear.

That was what I was scared of. I was anxious about getting hurt at 19 what more if I was getting married then it went downhill when I was 19? But you were a risk I was willing to take every day, so why not? I know you’ll stay true to your words, I just know so.

“No” I responded short and smiled at myself for acting so brave with my thoughts. I went out of the hall and looked up to my mother who was dressed up so nicely. Sure, the girl who took time dressing me up, definitely did not say she wouldn’t attend if I marry Minho. I sarcastically remarked at her logic.

“So where’s that guy? It’s been 15 minutes since the guests have arrived!” She placed her hand on her hip and tapped her feet on the floor impatiently.

“Ma, he will arrive” I assured my mother and hugged her after I saw a glimpse of tears on her face. Of course, she raised me, and to finally see me with a guy who will take care of me then, she would be brought into tears. She told me once, before the wedding starts, all her thoughts including how she was sad about me leaving but happy about me finding and receiving the love I am willing to fight for. She doesn’t show it as much but she knows how much of a good guy Min is.

“You’ll be Mrs. Lee minutes later!” I found Lisa near the entrance and hugged her. “I told you we would have the same last name years ago!” she continued

Minutes came by and indeed you look handsome in a tux. Everything was worth the wait. You were worth waiting for. We’ve said our vows that express our love would remain until forever runs out, and it was truly you and I together against the world.

[PRESENT]

At least that is what was supposed to happen.

Your dumb-ass mind left me hanging and crying on the white dress. Everything was prepared and you suddenly decided not to show up? You were claiming you had forgotten? What kind of excuse is that? You were no doubt an expert on saying sorry. Just because, you were an exception when it comes to me not being forgiving. Just because, you’d know how to get me back. With a single smile, sorry, that’s it! My mind would start to revolve once around you, playing hide and seek or chase. I was always the one chasing and I’m tired of having to run a hundred miles just to get that love I wanted, which you never wanted to give anyway. It’s all you and your sick need of giving love and taking it away.

Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in a white dress who was supposedly having fun on her grand day, went away and started crying? I should’ve followed what my mom said. You should’ve known and I should’ve seen. I was played, you were the one who controlled the game.

“Where will you take me, Alice?” Truly, it’s hard to have feelings for a guy who is the brother of your best friend. If things go wrong, then clearly your friendship is over.

“To him” you responded shortly, tightening your grip on my wrist.

“Stop. I don’t want to go.” I forced her hand off me and whined in a frustrated manner because clearly, you screwed up Alice.

“Could you please stop?! I’m sick of this! He doesn’t have to hide it forever!” You looked away and continued dragging me as soon as I stopped. Hiding what now?

I don’t know what to say when I meet you. Scratch that, I didn’t even want to meet you anymore. Because what if this habit of mine comes up and actually accepts you? I’m tired of it but there’s just something that makes me want to hold onto the love or something that isn’t in you anymore.

You took me in a place so questionable as you stopped and cried. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and yet you say it was the right place. That can’t be, right? How did this happen? Shaky hands, dry throat, words don’t come out my lips. “I’m sorry” I didn’t know why that was the only thing that escaped from my tongue. I did not accept it yet because I belived that wasn’t reality.

Lisa took me to a hospital in which I saw you laying down, unconscious.

I could do nothing but curl down. I was hurt but I never did ask for this. “Alicia, since when?”

“The doctor told me he had cancer way before you went back to Korea. This is why he didn’t want me to talk about you because he gets hurt and couldn’t even imagine what you would do in lengths just to cure him. He used to joke about how you loved him the same way he did. Side effects? Memory loss, sudden mood swings. You know, he was the same guy you knew in the past. Except, he had gotten braver of leaving you behind just so you wouldn’t get into more pain as to seeing his condition. He was very open but he thought of decisions way better when it comes to you than of himself. He loved you every single day of his life and I do know how he misses your touch, crying himself to sleep. He faced a much harder life, missy. As to the wedding, he said he had forgotten about it but it was more due to the reason of having a husband that wasn’t able to take care of until the end of the world, when he promised you to. It was because of a guy not being able to see you getting known worldwide nor exposing you in all medias, when he wanted you to. It was because of a man who simply wanted you to be happy, because he needed that too.”

This is the point where my world started to crash. It wasn’t you who should’ve known. It was me. I should’ve been there at times you need someone to rely on. I based on my selfishness and need for love, not knowing that what I need was the thing that kept me from hurting. I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. I’m sorry for not opening up all my thoughts about you. I’m sorry because I left you fighting against the world, and I stood by just watching. I felt as if I was the person who was miserable and yet it was you who was trying to act tough.

Lisa continued to tell all those hidden words of yours “I even remembered the time he continued blaming himself for hurting you but concluded that it was everything that he could do. His situation isn’t something that can be fixed and he knows about that even if he wasn’t told about the months he have left. He told me that once you come back and see how bad of a person he is for leaving you all alone and asking you to wait, I am allowed to tell you everything once you’ve moved on.” The girl I’m talking with continued crying filling out the silence I make.

It was a shock and seeing you were the only thing that made me cry deeply. I couldn’t breathe as my chest weighed heavily. I grasped my shirt as I was desperately needing to calm down. But none of this sight made me calm down. I understood the situation I did, but it was too far, in reality, to keep it in check. You were unconscious and Lisa wanted to let me see you before your last breath. Standing up, I cried up to you.

“Idiot” I sniffed, Trying to act strong and let it all out but that’s everything I could only say. “You said our story was cliché. What happened to the true love’s kiss that wakes one up?” I kneeled down and held your hand with the ring that was encircling your fingers. I felt the cold air as tears continued flowing. I kissed your hand and gulped, crying helplessly. Is there really nothing I could do?

“The last time he saw you were way back you were able to smile again. He said it was a blissful sight to see and he would be happy even if that were to be the last time.” Lisa explained and cried her heart out as well after seeing such a painful sight.

“You do know you can see me every day right? Wouldn’t that be nice?” I tried to persuade an unconscious body who can’t hear my words. “Hey, wake up” I clasped our hands together and entwined both. “I’m here, so wake up. I’ll be with you until the end okay?” The volume of my talks gradually decreases but I still believe you can open your eyes up. I know so. I know that at this very time you could still see me and hug me, letting me feel the same warmth I needed once again. “I’ll be with you and it’s still going to be you and I against the world. Cliché right? I know you’ll never miss a chance to tease me when I take that cheesy statement. So please do. Please wake up and talk to me once again. I am here for you.. always and forevermore”

I closed my eyes and heard the beeping of the machine. I looked at you and the monitor that showed a single, straight line. I sighed deeply and my heartbeat is everything I could hear. Repeating your name, demanding you to wake up but all I could do at the end of the day is being so helpless. Even my optimism couldn’t change my mindset yet I was hopelessly begging to see your loving eyes as Lisa and the other staff held me out of the ward for the doctors to take care and clean up everything.

I wished to see those eyes I never noticed years ago. I didn’t know whether it was my selfish act or optimism that kept me not noticing all those details but if only I could see those once again, I could’ve lessened your pain before you disappeared. I was wrong but even up to this end, I hope you know that I love you and forever will do, Min.

I see it all now that you’re gone, don’t you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

#stray kids scenarios #bang chan #seo changbin #han jisung #lee know #lee minho #hwang hyunjin #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids imagines #stray kids angst #angst #minho #skz lee know #stray kids x reader #kpop angst #stray kids masterlist #stray kids fake texts #stray kids fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #stray kids ff

[vanderlindemorgans]

dark blue tennessee

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 4.8k

Summary: It was one thing being without him while he was alive. It was another to lose him all together

Warnings: Major character death, grief-induced alcoholism, descriptions of blood and injuries, vague allusions to suicide. None of this is beta read so please don’t shoot me for any grammatical errors!

None of this seemed real to you. None of it felt real. It would have brought you some comfort if it wasn’t - that way you could reason with yourself that this was all the result of some horrific nightmare, that’d you’d wake up with a small gasp in his arms, safe and away from whatever dark terror had enveloped your mind. You weren’t one to usually have nightmares but when you did he would always be there, his embrace warm and tight, a single hand running through your hair in a soft pattern, and his unmistakable southern drawl whispering into your ear. 

This wasn’t a dream however. No matter how wrong it felt, how surreal and horrific the whole situation was, it was all real. Perched on the edge of a barstool, you glanced over at the almost empty bottle of whiskey beside you. You thought it would take the pain away, dull your senses and let you pretend for two seconds that he wasn’t really gone, but if anything, the whiskey made it worse. Everything reminded you of him, day in and day out, every morning you woke up and all you could notice was that he wasn’t there. His clothes were, his Stetson perched on a hook on the back of your bedroom door, his stupid belt buckle that you’d always mocked him for...but not him. You couldn’t bear to box away any of it. It may bring you pain to see all these items laid out, as if they were expecting their owner to return someday, but shoving it all in the back of a closet seemed so...disrespectful to you. It would be almost the same as forgetting him in your mind, and you refused to. 

It had been only two weeks since you first received that fateful call, the one that you prayed to high heavens you would never hear. Thank god you were home when you got the call - if you’d been out with your friends, or heaven forbid at work you don’t know what you would have done. It was a moment that you often replayed over in your mind, if for nothing more than the torture of reminding yourself of the day you had broke like glass shattered on a white cloth. 

Trailing the pad of your finger over the edge of your glass, you tossed your head back as you downed yet another glass of liquor. Every detail of that memory stuck out to you, even the most insignificant things that no one else would ever mention. You’d taken the day off work, already feeling shitty straight up from the moment the day had begun. You’d been making something to eat, just some toast because you couldn’t be bothered with anything else, and right when you were searching the fridge for a jar of jam you had heard the phone ring.

Without a second thought you’d scooped it up in your hands and answered it, thinking it would be one of your friends calling to try to get you to come out with them to some bar or something that night. You hadn’t guessed it would be anything important. “Hello?”.

“Hi, am I speaking to Y/N?”. You furrowed your brow at the response, not immediately recognising the voice. You considered hanging up for a brief moment but something in you told you to stay on the line.

“You are. I’m sorry, who is this?”. 

“My name is Ginger Ale. I’m a colleague of your partner, Jack Daniels. I’m very sorry to have to inform you this way, but he’s perished in a horrible incident”. 

Everything around you seemed to collapse in that moment. The whole world might as well have fallen away around you the minute you heard those words. It was a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It often comes so suddenly, and so unexpected that you feel like you’re climbing the stairs to your room in the dark, thinking there’s just one more step than there actually is, and feeling yourself plummet down into the abyss below. It was nothing like you’d ever experienced before - you might as well have been falling deep into the shadowy chasm right at the moment. Your grip on the phone tightened as you struggled to find the words, or any words really, to say in response as tears started to gather around the corners of your eyes. “W-what? What do you mean...he’s…” you trembled, stumbling on your feet as you fell against the wall in a daze, the world somehow seeming both screaming loud and quiet all at once. 

“He was injured badly during his last mission - multiple gunshot wounds from a certain run in with a couple of gangsters. He was...he was barely alive when we brought him in” Ginger explained, trying her best to comfort you but you barely took any notice of her words as the same thought played over in your head. He’s gone. He’s dead. He’s fucking dead, and you could have stopped it. It’s all your fault. 

“Aren’t you guys supposed to have that weird gel stuff that heals gunshot wounds? Surely...surely he could have been saved, right?” you asked frantically, your cheeks streaked with tears and flushed with grief. It took everything in you not to fall apart right then and there, dropping the phone to the floor and screaming out in sheer agony of the pain that was ripping through you. 

“Not this time, sadly. I’m really sorry, Y/N”. There was a small pause on the other end of the line before Ginger spoke again, her tone indicating her hesitance at divulging such information to you. “He also insisted that we don’t bother, that he knew his time was up with this one. I was watching him on this mission - he went into it all quite recklessly, which isn’t completely new for him but…”.

“But?” you asked, prompting her to finish her sentence but she never did. A heavy silence hung between the both of you, punctured lightly by the sound of your heavy breath which you tried desperately to keep in check. Some small part of you was still in some sort of disbelief, wanting to fervently deny that any of this was happening. This is just a dream right? I’ll wake up back in bed, I’ll get up and call Jack, and he’ll be alive and well. None of this is real. It can’t be real...

“I want to see him. Please, just let me see him. Let me at least say goodbye”.

_

You hadn’t taken much notice of your surroundings on your way to Statesman Headquarters - everything might as well have been a blur to you from the moment you stepped through the doors to the second you walked off the platform of the elevator towards the medical wing. As soon as you spotted him all sense of decorum and logic was thrown out the window, any sense of composure melting away to nothing the very second his body came into view. Ginger had been beside you, probably as a general gesture to ensure you wouldn’t entirely lose it once you gained a single glimpse of him but alas, as soon as the elevator pulled to a stop and the doors pulled open to reveal a lifeless Agent Whiskey lain across the stretcher, everything you had ever known seemed to fall to pieces from under you. It was as if your entire world had collapsed, had stopped revolving the minute you laid eyes on his lifeless form. Without another seconds hesitation you rushed towards him, tears beginning to cascade down your cheeks as you bore witness to the unfortunate result of the tragedy that had struck.

It was as if the floodgates had opened right then and there - once you started crying, the tears just wouldn’t stop. With every ounce of your being you wished that somehow, by some godforsaken miracle, your touch would bring him back, that his eyes would magically flutter open and would greet you with those enchanting brown eyes that you had come to know every day of your life since the moment you had first met. That he would maybe, if only by the simple wish of your heart, say the one thing you were always angling to hear truthfully, in a way that you could put more than a simple faith in. As if you were a broken record, you couldn’t stop repeating his name over and over, like if by some divine intervention that alone would turn the clock back and have him lying next to you, his hand caressing your cheek and firing one of his signature flirty quips at you as you woke up in bed, catching a whiff of that ever-present scent of whiskey that mixed beautifully with his cologne. If only it were that simple. If only that were possible.

Instead you laid a hand against his cold forehead, now devoid of any warmth of life it once felt. Some would say that the dead looked almost peaceful in a way but you saw none of that: even in death Jack somehow looked anguished, like there was something left behind that he wanted to say but simply couldn’t go back to. 

“I can’t feel you anymore…” you murmured, your voice wobbling violently. Leaning down towards him, you cradled his head between your palms, whispering his name softly and feeling your own tears decorate his cheeks. Ginger, or maybe somebody else, said something in the background that you couldn’t take any notice of, your mind fixated only on the man you loved and the unfortunate reality that presented itself to you now. 

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

_

The funeral had only been held a week afterwards. From a planning perspective, it was easy to organise his final affairs - for whatever reason you’d been named as the executor of his will, a fact that came as a shock to you once you had been served the information by the attorney. The two of you weren’t ever married, although you had attempted to float the idea once or twice, and his mother was still alive so it seemed odd to you that of all people to be left in charge of his estate Jack chose you. Emotionally, it had been a taxing revelation for you: on top of having to carry the stinging pain of finding out the man you loved had died, you had to be the one organising his affairs. You knew after leaving the medical wing of Statesmans Headquarters that day that you wanted nothing more than to let your own sorrow overcome you and let yourself fade out of existence, his voice haunting your every waking moment until you finally decided to let go entirely and throw yourself off the brink of insanity. That’s what you felt you deserved anyway.

His funeral had been the worst of it. You had silently prayed that maybe you would have numbed yourself out a bit. The most agonising part of it all were the hoards of people coming up to you asking how you were. It took everything in you to stop yourself from confessing everything. If they knew, they’d hate you. They’d blame you. The gossip would start, the theories and rumours flying high, the whispers you could hear in your head as if they were real. Somehow you’d pulled through, despite the inclination to break down at any given moment. But of course, that wasn’t the end. You’d buried him, now you had to face the mortifying reality of living without him. 

With every passing day the memories became stronger. You never told any of them what had happened the last time you saw Jack - you couldn’t tell them. It had been eating at you from the inside ever since you picked up the phone that cursed day, tearing apart your mind and leaving nothing in its wake but heartbreaking grief and despair. It’s your fault. You’re the reason this happened. If you two hadn’t fought, if you hadn’t told him to fuck off on the phone that night, he wouldn’t have gone on that mission. You killed him. You’re a murderer. 

All of these thoughts and more wormed their way between different glasses of whiskey, letting you lose track of both time and how many glasses you had. No matter how much you drank though it never dulled the grief nor the guilt that you’d been torturing yourself with from the moment you woke up every day to the moment you went to sleep. Actually, even in your sleep you couldn’t escape it, being plagued by nightmares and the like increasing in degrees of terror the longer they went on. It was why you now avoided any sort of conscious effort to sleep, only succumbing when you’d become so drunk that you had bent yourself over the back of the couch and cried as much as your body would let. 

You swore to never let anyone know what had happened, that Jack and you had technically broken up a few days before his death. It already ate at you enough that you had to run over the memories in your mind, every last word you spat at him on repeat for your own infinite suffering. “It feels like wherever we go, she’s there. And she’s so beautiful, and perfect, and dead. I can’t compete with a ghost, Jack”. Scowling to yourself, you scooped up your glass and took yet another sip, feeling nothing but regret towards how everything played out. You didn’t regret what you said - on some level, you still felt it was true. You knew Jack would forever hold a candle for his ex-wife, but you’d grown tired of feeling like you were second place to a dead woman, as if the only reason he kept you around at all was to fill a void that could only truly be filled by the one person he could never have back. It had been selfish of you, in some way, but you’d deserved more. You loved Jack with everything you had, and you wanted him to feel the same way back, and although he swore he did you could plainly see that wasn’t the case.

“Darlin’, please, don’t be like this. You’re my only love and you know that. You’re being ridiculous about all this”

“Then why do you still wear your ring? Why do you get dismissive whenever I try to bring up moving in together, or marriage, or anything. It’s been two fucking years of this. You can do whatever you want, Jack but I’ll tell you one thing: you’ll be doing it alone. I’m out”. 

“For fucks sake…” you cursed, slamming your glass back down on the table with a loud thud, your words slurred beyond all comprehension. A few drops of whiskey sloshed out of the glass onto the countertop, creating a small puddle on the marbled surface but you didn’t much care. What was the point in caring anyway?

You still had to pack up his home, a reminder that only contributed to your pain. You were supposed to have taken care of that before now, at least a week ago but you couldn’t bring yourself to enter his home. I’ll do it tomorrow...maybe. Yeah, tomorrow. Deciding firmly on that, you sipped the last of the liquor and stumbled off the seat of the barstool, the world spinning around you as you fumbled your way through the dim light of your apartment to where your bedroom was, throwing your intoxicated body amongst the heap of unmade bed sheets and burying yourself within them, crying until you passed out in a deep slumber. 

_

Standing outside the door to Jack’s penthouse apartment, you stared forward with a muted expression upon your face, the key to his place gripped firmly between your fingers as if it would disappear from your hands at any moment. You’d been there for a good five minutes by then, meaning to break out of your state of catatonia to only be stopped again by yourself, kicking off a seemingly endless cycle in which you remained stuck in front of his door. You knew you had to go in there eventually: it wasn’t like everything of his would magically disappear if you just ignored it. It was still hard though, since you knew the moment you stepped through the door you’d be hit by the unmistakable scent of him. Almost like you were crossing a threshold of sorts, only with a feeling of emptiness on the other side instead of anything resembling happiness. Seeing his things would only remind you of how he wasn’t there among them, where he should be, which spiralled onto other thoughts, such as reminiscing on his gorgeous brown eyes and that honeyed southern accent you adored on him, and everything else that once made your heart spark with love. You felt your breath tremble as your knuckles turned white from holding the key with such might. This was a bad idea. You weren’t ready for this. Maybe you should just go home and call it a day. 

No. You have to do this now. You might as well rip the bandaid off, lord knows you’ll have to do it eventually anyway.

Keeping your breath paced, you raised your shaking hand to the lock of the day, slowly inserting the key and twisting it until you heard the unmistakable click inside. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you pushed open the double doors and pulled yourself inside, your high heels clicking on the linoleum floors.

Everything was exactly how you’d last seen it, how Jack had last left it. Not that you expected any different of course. The only people who had probably been there in the past two weeks since his death were people from Statesman to collect various bits of the agency's technology and other gadgets Jack had left lying about. You never knew much about his life as part of the secret service: during your relationship Jack had preferred to stay off the subject of his job as much as possible. He even said himself that you shouldn’t have known about his double life in the first place but when it became too obvious that keeping it from you was going to hurt your relationship with him in the long term he’d sought permission from his boss to have you cleared on the most basic of intel. That never bothered you in the slightest - the least you knew about the agency, the better, a view Jack wholeheartedly agreed with you on. You didn’t know him as Agent Whiskey, top agent to Statesman Secret Service trained in espionage. You knew him as Jack Daniels, the cocky womanizer who chased anything in a skirt, the gentleman who had always managed to sweep you off your feet whenever he was around, and the man you had once dreamt of marrying before things went south. 

All around you were familiar places and objects, things that brought back so many memories yet felt hollow and empty as you looked upon them now. If things were right, he’d be there too, perhaps in the kitchen preparing dinner for you, knowing that you couldn’t resist coming over again even if it was the third time that week. Or maybe he’d be on the couch, reclining back with a glass of whiskey and a book, turning his head back to take a gander at you, shooting one of his signature smirks and making a remark about how incredibly gorgeous you looked. Without him, the space felt sullen and void of life, the dust settling on every surface from remaining untouched for two whole weeks by then. 

Taking a deep breath, you stepped forward and tried as best you could to sort out your thoughts, detaching it as much as you were able to from the memories being back in that apartment brought. His mother already came to you and asked to have a box of certain things belonging to Jack given to her. You knew she was already going through a hell of a rough time herself, her only son winding up dead. She never knew about his life as an agent, being fed a cover story by Statesmans team in order to maintain their secrecy. A bit of you felt jealous of her for that. She would never know the truth, whereas you had to live every day for the rest of your life knowing what happened, being made aware of your own part to play in his fate every hour, every minute, every second. 

The rest of it, well, you had no idea what to do with it. You thought it would be best to box up as much of his personal items as you could, either to keep for yourself or to hand back to his family, and arrange to have the rest of the furniture sold or given away to a charity shop or something. Moving towards the living room, you began to scoop up the different framed photos you found around the apartment. Some were of him as a kid, either on a horse or in different shots with his family, already sporting that heart melting smile of his. A lot of them were of you and him on various dates - one you stopped to pour over was of the two of you at a diner in Brooklyn, you taking the photo and Jack taking a sneaky swipe of your sundae in the background while you were distracted. You remembered that day so well: he’d just come back from a particularly rough mission in Russia, one that he’d had to stake out for weeks, so it was the first time you’d seen each other in about a month. You looked at how happy you were in that picture, the sight of such joy bringing tears to the corners of your eyes. What you wouldn’t give to have those days back, the easier times, before the distance, the fights, the feelings of being second place to a ghost and of course, his own tragic death at the end of it all. 

At last you made your way to his bedroom, clutching onto the stack of photo frames as if they were a lifeline. You fought with everything in you the urge to just drop everything and crash down onto his bed, cradling one of his shirts in your hands to try to get a whiff of him, pretending that he was still there for only a few seconds. Rather, you walked over towards his bedside table and set the stack of frames down, crouching to your knees and biting back the teardrops threatening to fall from your eyes. It’s ok. You don’t have to do it all in one go. Just gather together some of his personal stuff, and then you can leave.

Opening the drawer, your eyes flitted between the various trinkets and things he’d accumulated, searching to see if there were anything personal that his family might want back when your gaze was instantly drawn to a stark white letter shoved towards the back of the drawer. Scooping it up in your hands, you furrowed your brow as you inspected it further, only to have your breath catch in your throat once you saw your name written in his unmistakable cursive on the front.  

Immediately you stood yourself up from the floor, your mind rushing into overdrive while you stared at the letter in your palms, hesitantly trailing your fingers up to the top of the envelope to tear it open. Out of all the things to find in Jack’s drawer, you definitely weren’t expecting this. You had no clue what it could be, when it was written or even if you should read it at all. Should you just put it back in the drawer and pretend you never found it? Though you supposed it was a bit too late for that, on account of you practically ripping the top of it open. With a hint of uncertainty, you reached into the envelope and lifted the letter out onto your lap, opening it to reveal its contents. 

The first thing you noticed was the date in the top right corner - April 22, two weeks ago, a day before he went on that mission and met an unkind fate. That alone was enough to make your heart stop, so when your eyes travelled down the page to read the rest of the letter, you might as well have dropped dead right then and there from the sheer pain that was struck through your heart.

I was a damn fool for letting you get away. You and I both know that my dearly departed wife will always hold a special place in my heart, and I know you understand that. I didn’t want to admit it until now but I had been becoming distant - every time you brought up marriage, or anything more I’d get scared. Scared of...well, a lot of different things. Of repeating the same tragedy with you, in some way. Some part of me was worried marrying you would be dishonoring my late wife’s memory as well. It’s no wonder you walked out when you did. I don’t blame you for your choice, but please allow me to say my piece at least. You never were second to anyone, sweetheart. As much as I will always love Lily, my heart belongs to you here and now. Missing you like this is such sweet sorrow, won’t you come back to me? No matter whether or not you chose to forgive me, or even entertain the idea of givin’ me another chance, I just want you to know that I love you, honeybee. I’ll be waiting for you today, tomorrow, and forever, down in dark blue Tennessee.

- Jack

Every word you read was like another stab to the heart for you, the tears that you had fought so hard to keep in now pouring down your cheeks, small sobs escaping your throat as you collapsed back to the floor with a thud, your heart racing a million miles a minute. There it was, all written down in hasty cursive script - the apology that he never got to give, hidden away in the back of his bedside drawer like an afterthought. Knowing him he’d probably written it out and intended to give it to you before he left for his mission but decided against it for whatever reason. And that final sentence...Tennessee. He mentioned Tennessee. The place where you’d grown up, where you’d lived almost your entire life before moving to New York. The place where you’d met Jack all those years ago, down in a local bar. You’d been visiting your parents for the week, he’d been there meeting with an investor for Statesman. By some stroke of luck you two had crossed paths, hitting it off and becoming infatuated within mere moments, one thing leading to another until eventually you’d woken up in his bed the next morning. The way you’d initially thought it’d only wanted a one night stand but then became something more. It was all flooding back to you now, triggered by only a few sentences written down on a letter that was never sent. You didn’t know what to do, or what to think. The only thing you could do in that moment was lean your head back against the bed and choke on your own sobs, muttering his name over and over for what felt like forever, holding the now crumpled and tear stained letter in your hands.

The hours ticked by, though you took no notice, and when you do eventually move, it’s not to leave the apartment. Your eyes barely leave the ground when you walk, stumbling from room to room in search of a bottle of wine or something stronger to drown your own sorrows in, kicking off your shoes haphazardly and without much care. When you bump against the liquor cabinet, you can hear something fall and shatter off the top, and when you walk back through the shards of glass with the bottles in your hands, you don’t even wince when one pierces your foot. With thin streams of blood trickling from the cut on your sole, you’ll flick the top off the first bottle you reach for, letting the lukewarm liquid slip down your throat, spiralling you down deeper and deeper into a drunken stupor until finally, the moment comes where you can close your eyes and slip into that familiar void of darkness that you greeted with open arms, those last conscious thoughts being an apology of your own that no one ever got to hear. I’m sorry, Jack...

#agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #Kingsman #kingsman fanfiction #Kingsman: the golden circle #Pedro Pascal

[crimson-snowfall]

Jealous hc for Comte, Leo and Theo please! Really appreciate your writing!

Sorry for the wait, and thanks for your kind message! Here ya go~

Ikevamp HC request: Jealous Theo, Comte, and Leo

Theo

Theo is particularly vocal when it comes to Arthur playing around with you. Even though he knows Arthur does it on purpose just to piss him off, he just can’t let the flirt do as he pleases with you, so he makes sure to give Arthur a piece of his mind every now and then.

Theo doesn’t really get jealous nor wary about you interacting with the rest of the mansion’s residents, because he’s plenty confident about his ability to keep his hondje satisfied.

The only time he ever feels jealous is during those occasional instances when you would end up spending a lot of time with Vincent for days at a time, and Theo hates himself for it.

He has always admired his brother, and Theo has spent all of his life believing that Vincent is better than him, and in a good way. He thinks of his dear brother as the best person in the world, so it made him sick inside as soon as he realized that emotions of jealousy have ‘tainted’ his love for his brother.

He is deeply confused as well, because sometimes he’s not sure whom is he truly jealous about. Perhaps he’s jealous both ways?

As soon as Vincent realized how Theo feels, he promptly apologized to him. Theo visibly paled upon hearing Vincent apologize to him, panic quickly taking over him.

“What are you taking about, b-broer? You did nothing wrong, you know you can never do wro–”

“Calm down, Theo. Look… I’m just really happy that you finally found yourself a woman to love in this life. That’s why I wanted to get to know her better, and love her the same way as I do love you, Theo. Because soon enough, she’s going to be my sister-in-law, right?”

Vincent had that kind smile on his face as he said all those things to Theo, and it’s enough to make the strength in Theo’s knees leave. He pulled his brother in a tight embrace, insisting that he should be the one apologizing for even feeling that way.

It’s not often that Theo shows his weak side towards him, so Vincent had been more than willing to comfort him and dispel his worries.

After that, Theo’s subtle jealous episodes became far less often. However, when you finally realized it and confronted him about it, you could’ve sworn he got incredibly flustered for a moment.

“Huh? What are you talking about hondje? Why would I be jealous? This is my brother we’re talking about here, do you really want to get punished?”

Unfortunately, he didn’t sound nearly as convincing as he had hoped to be, and while you would’ve taken this golden opportunity to tease him, you decided against it. Theo can play really dirty if you tease him so much, and you’re not yet really ready for another night of him just teasing you until you’re nearly in tears. Instead, you spent the next few days spoiling him with sweets and fluffier servings of pancakes.

Comte

At first, you thought that Comte just really loved to spoil you. But after a while and as you get to know him better, you eventually noticed a pattern to these shopping sprees and fancy restaurant dates he often takes you to.

While the fact that he indulges spoiling you remains true, you realized that he does this mainly so he can have a valid reason to keep you all to himself, at least for the day.

Lately, he’s been starting to spoil you way too often, almost every other day. While you do enjoy the time you spend with him, your closet is starting to get crammed with all the clothes and accessories he gets for you. You’re also conscious that you may be starting to put on some weight as well.

Unsure of what to do, you approach Leonardo. Comte is good friends with him, so you thought that Leo of all people would know how to deal with your lover’s behavior.

You came to him in the library and much to your surprise, the pureblood is actually awake and not passed out on the floor like always. You told him about your troubles.

“Have you talked to him about it, cara mia?” A soft smile graced his features as he regarded you with concern.

“No. The thing is… I don’t even know where to start.”

“Well, this is actually the first time I’ve–” Leo stopped mid-sentence, his expression as though he had sensed something coming. His soft smile turned into a mischievous one as he stood from where he was seated and approached you.

“No, I think I have an idea.” With those words, he closed the distance between the two of you, pinning you against the nearest bookshelf. He tilted your head up, your eyes meeting his that were dancing with mild mischief. Leo leaned dangerously close, and it really looked like he was going to kiss you when—

“Leonardo Da Vinci.” A heavy voice came from the entrance, and there stood Comte, golden eyes on fire. Leo was shaking– surely not out of fear, instead he looked like he’s trying to hold back his laughter.

In mere seconds, Comte has you in a protective embrace whilst his vicious glare remained on his friend. The other pureblood shrugged it off.

“There you have it, cara mia. Now’s your chance. Go and tell him. There’s no way he could deny it anymore.” Leo walked out of the library as if he had done nothing wrong, and the sigh that escaped Comte’s lips nearly echoed in the room.

“What was that all about, ma chérie?” He turned you around so that you’re facing him, the rage in his eyes replaced with mild sadness.

You ended up telling him everything, how you loved spending time with him, but how deep down you wished he didn’t have to resort to spoiling you that much all the time.

“I appreciate everything, Comte. But, you don’t really have to go that far every time, I… I already have so much of everything. If you’re jealous, we could just always spend more time together– just simply the two of us, together. It doesn’t have to be always extravagant.”

“I’m sorry ma chérie. I just couldn’t help myself whenever I’m with you. I want to give you everything.” Comte placed a tender kiss on your forehead.

He continues about taking up on your offer about spending time together without being too extravagant. He suggests taking you off from your household duties for the next few days, and the tender look in his eyes made it impossible for you to refuse.

“I can’t guarantee that I won’t end up spoiling you… in my own other ways though, ma chérie. I hope you’re prepared for that.”

Leonardo

Leo’s room has always been messy, but lately it’s just a disaster. For the past two days, Sebastian has been taking care of most of the other household duties while he left you in charge of your lover’s room.

On that particular day, the butler told you that your sole task is to attend to Leo’s room, and after that you can take the rest of the day off as some sort of compensation.

You came to his room, already dreading the mess that’s about to unfold before your eyes as soon as you open the door.

“Leo, how do you even manage to get your room this dirty? I just cleaned up yesterday!” You made no effort to hide your frustration as you began cleaning his room. Surprisingly enough though, this time, he helped you out.

Soon enough with his help, the room looked far more decent and actually habitable. “See? It’s much better now. You’re actually good at this, Leo. If only you would do it more often, then–”

You were cut off when strong arms pulled you into a tight embrace. “It’s been three days and you still don’t get it, do you, cara mia?” Leo planted a soft kiss on your neck before falling back into his bed and turning you around so that you’re on top of him.

He wore a somewhat lonely expression as he played with your hair. He took a deep sigh, the signature scent of cigarillos wafting on the air. “Lately… I found myself feeling rather jealous.”

“Jealous of what? And what does that have to do with any of this?”

“You’ve been doing nothing but housework lately, cara mia. You attend to everyone, and sometimes I just want to keep you to myself. That’s when I thought, what if I made it so that all the housework you’ll ever do is in my room? Then maybe I’ll get to spend more time with you.”

You looked at him in absolute disbelief. “Leo, I can’t believe you…”

“You don’t have to, cara mia. But today I helped you because… I want you to do something other than housework.”

Hope you liked it and sorry for any ooc-ness and grammatical error, my mind’s really a mess right now with all the university work piled up on me ;w; I haven’t read Leo’s route yet either so sorry if his is a little bit shorter compared to the others. I need to read more canon facts and be able to read more interactions between these characters so I can write them better in the future, but on the meantime thanks for your understanding! As for the other request (and future reqests that may be made), I’ll get to you on the 1st week of February~

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikemen series #ikevamp theo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp comte #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp saint germain #ikemen vampire theo #ikemen vampire leo #ikemen vampire comte #ikemen vampire theodorus #ikemen vampire leonardo #ikevamp headcanon #ikevamp hc #ikevamp scenarios #ikevamp scenario #ikemen headcanon #ikemen vampire headcanon

[yixxes]

Hurt | p.p.

Warnings: Homophobia, toxic parents/household, maybe a few grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, yall it’s 6 am and I still haven’t slept-

Word Count: 2413

"You make me sick!”  

You slammed the door behind you and you did not look back. It was all so suffocating, your family was so suffocating, living inside of a toxic household with such destructive, closed-minded people was so devastatingly harmful to your health and you couldn’t get away from it. Or, you never had the guts to storm out before. Things had gotten bad in the past, but this time was different from the others. This was no ordinary disagreement or argument. This was a direct attack initiated and orchestrated by the head of the household herself. There was something about the way that she spoke to you. The way that she spewed hate without an ounce of regard for your feelings or the fact that she was talking to another human being, her daughter, if that even counted for anything. The way that everyone else declared the side that they were on by not saying anything at all. You just knew that if you stayed there a second longer, you’d implode or combust. You wanted to vent. To say the words that you had been forced to swallow before you choked on them. There wasn’t a single person in your house that you wanted to speak to, so you rounded a familiar corner and started towards the place that felt more like home than your actual house these days. 

It was dark by the time you reached Peter’s doorstep and he got ready to scold you good when he opened up the door and saw you standing there. “Wh- Y/n!? Did you walk here, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?” And then he saw your face. Your stature. Your shoulders were slumped, your cheeks were tear stained and the way that your eyes were filling up made it clear that you weren’t anywhere close to being done crying for the night. “Oh no, babe, what happened?” 

He sounded like he was about to start crying right along with you, and honestly, it was a big possibility. He told you a couple of times before that he had trouble explaining the way that he cared about you. Even before you got together, he cared about you so much as a friend. Before that, he practically idolized you as his crush but that was all at face value. As he got to know you better, he was just as mesmerized by your mind and your heart as he was by your beauty, or so he told you. Anyway, your pain really hit home for him. He hated to see you cry, so you showing up like this really affected him. It made his heart pick up a handful of beats more a minute and made his blood run cold. And when you threw your arms around him and began to sob into his shoulder, he was so overwhelmed that he started to cry, too. 

He’d seen you upset before, sure, any regular human being dealt with complicated emotions, everybody had their share of bad days, but this was different. Peter couldn’t remember ever seeing you like this before. Not only did the sight break his heart, he was also at a loss. He was so worried that he wouldn’t know how to fix whatever was wrong. What if he couldn’t get the tears to stop? Or what if he couldn’t make the pain go away? Peter wrapped his arms around your torso and held you close to him. 

He was new at this, so he tried his very best to choose his words carefully. “You’re okay,” he murmured quietly in your ear. You obviously weren’t okay, but you knew what he meant. You weren’t alright, but you were okay there in his arms. You were safe. “I got you, okay?” He rubbed his open hand up and down your back and it made breathing come just a little easier. “Not gonna let anything happen to you.” The promise was sincere but he made it more with himself and merely let you in on it. Knowing loss the way that he did made his determination to protect what he presently had strong. As long as he was around, he’d guard your happiness just as well as your life. 

Peter walked your hug back a couple of steps so that he could shut the door behind you. For a short while, the two of you stayed just like that. This was probably the closest to that you’d get all night to a cleared head and that was stressing you out. 

“Peter, who was at the-” you pulled yourself off of Peter to look at Aunt May and brought your hands together, rubbing them slowly against one another. “oh. Oh, sweetheart, what happened?”

You hadn’t even told Peter what happened yet, nor did you have a single clue how you were gonna go about it and you told Peter everything. May was a great confidant, but the thought of opening up to her about what happened tonight intimidated you. On the same coin, it was the least that you could do after barging into her home this way. You took in a breath and readied yourself to answer her, but luckily Peter swooped in before you had to say anything. 

“Aunt May, could I have a second with Y/n? Please?” It was almost like he read your mind. 

May nodded, eyeing you with a sad smile. “Of course,” she walked to you anyways, engulfing you in a warm hug. “I’ll be right down the hall if there’s anything that I can do.”

With a smile, you breathed a quiet “thank you” and watched her retreat to her room. As soon as he heard her door close, Peter led you to the couch, making sure to keep hold of one of your hands even after you sat down. Your mind was all over the place and your heart was starting to pick up again. Getting all of this out wasn’t gonna be easy. Peter had no clue what was going on, but that much was clear to him. 

“Hey,” his free hand touched your cheek. “we don’t have to talk about this right now, alright? If you’re not ready, we can find something to do, I’ll make you something to eat, or we can-”

You shook your head, making him stop short. It wasn’t gonna be easy, but you figured the sooner that you got all of this off of your chest, the better. “Remember how... I told you that I kissed Victoria Woodland at Donnie’s back to school party this year?” He nodded without comment, deciding it might be best to listen with as little interruption as possible. It was a confusing start, but he was confident that you’d connect the dots for him. “’N how I was dating Shelly Sinclair last year?” Peter nodded again and you took another breath. He didn’t miss how shaky this one was in comparison to the first one. “Well, my...” you pulled your hand from his and bound your fingers together tight, a nervous tick you had been doing for as long as you could remember. “my parents never knew about it, they..”

You desperately didn’t want to say these words. You didn’t want to tell this story. The deep shame that you felt took the physical form of a set of hands.  With each progressing word, it was like they squeezed tighter and tighter on your throat. 

“My mother expressed more than a couple of times that..” you swallowed thickly, cringing at the compilation of memories of your loving mother saying exactly what you were about to say word for word. “that no daughter of hers would grow to be so sick and weird.” Peter’s eyes closed and he turned his face for a second. He knew exactly where this was going and he hated it. Dread weighed on his heart in a way that he just couldn’t explain. 

You went on to explain how you dated Shelly for six months behind your parents’ back last school year. When things crashed and burned with her, it felt like your entire world was ending, so that’s the way most high school relationships go anyway, and you passed a couple of months of sorrow and heartache off as fatigue and sickness. Your adoring parents fed you cups of medicine and urged you to keep in mind the importance of rest, but naturally, it did nothing for you. They couldn’t reach your hurt. They couldn’t heal you. Even if they knew why you were in pain, they wouldn’t want to help anyways. You told Peter how Mrs. Sinclair and your mother knew each other and were even good friends since before you even knew Shelly. Yet, miraculously, the conversation never came up between Shelly and her mom. Shelly knew that you had to keep things under wraps, after all, so maybe she kept it from her mom too. God, how you wish that were true.

“It came up in casual conversation during a phone call.” Your voice was breaking and so was your resolve. “She couldn’t wait to lay into me as soon as she hung up.” You swallowed hard again, doing the best that you could to mentally prepare yourself for what you were about to say. “She asked me why I wanted to be like that. She called me weird. Said she didn’t raise me like that, she...” You cut yourself off there, tears already beginning to roll, and looked away from him. You squeezed your eyes shut and felt more tears fall. Go on, you scolded yourself. Say it. “S-she said.. she said-”

Peter wanted to let you finish. He truly did, but what he wanted didn’t hold a candle to his overpowering need to comfort you. He couldn’t let you finish that sentence. He wouldn’t. Not when he could see how much it was tearing you apart. If he let you say it, whatever was remaining of your badly bruised spirit would break and dissipate into oblivion, and he couldn’t have that. 

Peter pulled you into a tight hug, the both of your bodies alike leaning forward rather awkwardly, but you didn’t mind it at all, because being held by someone who just accepts you was an indescribable feeling that you wouldn’t trade for the world. Without letting go for a second, he slowly scooted towards you in hopes of getting rid of some of the discomfort and pressed his cheek into the top of your head, doing his best to cry as quietly as he could. Your body shook with cries in his arms and his heart broke all over again. You didn’t deserve this.

At first, Peter really didn’t know what to say, which was fine because he had some time to think about it. The two of you sat there for more than a little while until your breathing finally evened out. 

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” he said, nearly cringing at the broken silence. “you don’t deserve this.” He couldn’t relate to you on this level, but he had absolutely no problem meeting you where you were at and talking you through your own mind. He just knew that it was in heartbreaking shambles at the moment. 

Peter pulled off of you and caught your face in his hands. He needed to look you straight in the eyes and know that he had all of your attention when he said this. “Do you understand me? You don’t deserve any of this.” Occasionally, you could tend to be just a little impressionable, especially when the given situation involved your parents. He needed to make sure that you understood that you, nor anybody else in the entire world, for that matter, did not deserve to be defamed, spoken down to, or bullied for being themselves. “The things that she said... they’re pure evil, but you know none of it’s right. None of it’s true.”

He made quick work of swiping your tears away with his thumbs and shook you gently when you closed your eyes, whispering a soft, “please look at me.” He paused until he saw your eyes again. “You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. I don’t want you to ever apologize to anybody for being who you are, there isn’t a single thing wrong with you,” he shook his head and you frowned at the tears that spilled down his cheeks. “there’s not a single thing that I would change, okay?”

You nodded at his words, wishing a little less that you could shy away from him. This was the most intimate moment that the two of you had shared so far in your relationship. You felt vulnerable and exposed, but you couldn’t disregard the positive outcome. How nice it was to be yourself, loved, and accepted all at the same time.

“I’m sorry that she hurt you, I’m... I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry that I’m not saying the right thing, because honestly, I have no idea what I’m supposed to say right now, but I’ll spend the rest of the night thinking. I’ll say the right thing, I’ll do whatever you need me to do, I-I’ll be right here beside you until things get better, I promise.” How would things get better and where would anybody even start? He had no clue, neither of you did, but he knew that his words were true and that he’d be true to his word. “They’ll get better, they’re just bad right now, I...”  Peter sighed, defeated because he had no idea how much his words meant to you. “I’ll be right there, always. Until things get better and every time after.”

You watched his face fall when he had to wipe away more of your tears, but eyed the small smile on your face hopefully. 

“You’re incredible,” he murmured softly. “her words can’t change how amazing you are. And her words could never change the way that I love you. I know it seems impossible right now, but... please try not to let it change the way that you love yourself either.”

Things were bad right now. So inexplicably bad, but they could be worse. You could be going through all of this alone, but looking straight ahead and seeing this lovable, beautiful soul right in front of you, you realized that you were about as far from alone as you could possibly get. 

A/N: Thank you sm for reading 💓 shout out to my lovely relatives for inspiring me to write this 🙃 Stay safe, be strong, spread love, be kind to one another ✨

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x y/n #peter parker imagine #marvel #avengers #avengers imagine #tom holland #tom holland x reader #mcu #peter parker x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot

[holly-benji]

9X02 BRETTSEY REVIEW

Here I am today talking about my impressions of the 9x02 episode of Chicago fire. Ready? First of all let me tell you that: 1. English is not my first language, so forgive me some grammatical errors. 2. I have written a lot (maybe too much) so I hope you have the patience to get to the end. 3. It is not a post against Monica Raymund or Gabby Dawson. Just some of my considerations about it. I do not want to start any war.

Let us begin! I will try to analyze what happened for the different phases that followed during the episode

RESCUE SCENE:

I start by saying that Sylvie Brett is really badass. She's really grown up and I think it's going to be a real PIC for Mackey.

Moving on to Casey: "61 respond. Do YOU hear me?". I think that YOU has a great value for him. I think this phrase encapsulates all of Casey's concern about losing Brett. The face he makes immediately afterwards when no one answers on the radio is discouraging. And when he asks Stella "we should have seen them by now", he is looking for some support in Kidd (of the series tell me that nothing serious happened Stella please).

When Casey sees the wreckage of the ambulance he can’t wait to know if Sylvie is ok. First of all, for him is not ambulance 61, but Brett's ambulance. The difference is substantial. 

"Let me out". This scene is beautiful. Fortunately, after jumping out of a moving truck, Brett has already gotten out of the ambulance.

When Casey sees her, apart from screaming her name, he doesn't just ask her if she is okay. He looks at her everywhere, as if to see to himself that she is in one piece. Even afterwards he suggests to her to go to the hospital and when she refuses, he takes her to the truck to take her to the firehouse. With him. Brett's gaze is the mixture of being confused about the accident, and why Casey is there.

When Sylvie wants to save the crazy guy, he yells "Sylvie wait!". And then together they do what they do best. Saving lives.

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU

Of course Casey has to reach Brett to ask her once again if she is okay and tell her that he is glad if she is ok. What big scare did he get? But strangely enough when Brett asks him how he got there so quickly and why it was only him, he omits a few details in the reconstruction of how things went. Brett KNOWS him so the "it always been you" comes out of her. Remember that THE ONE she's been looking for for a long time, and she talks to Matt about in the 8x07 episode? She finally realized it was him all along. From the beginning of everything. And when she realizes that she practically told him that the key to everything is him, she tries to make up for the blunder she just made. In fact she says "such a good friend". Casey is amazed by this sentence, and wants to understand what else is underneath (because it can actually be sibylline), but is interrupted by Capp for the report.

SYLVIE AND STELLA

So Brett is in love with Casey. But she can't tell him. She doesn't want to tell him.

Let's make a brief summary of what happened between Brett and Casey from Sylvie's point of view. Gabby's departure marked a turning point for both of them. I think for both of them it was just a simple friendship at least until the episode 7x16. When Casey was almost shot with a gun. The two of them started talking more and more and became confidants of each other. Brett's feelings I think were initially seen in the 7x21 even if at the time as a simple attraction. She has been trying to suppress them ever since. It was said that they were not right. So she got engaged to Kyle and tried to carry on a meaningless relationship. In fact, not only did she want to suppress what she felt, she WAS CERTAIN that Casey would not have seen her any other way than as a friend and the 7x22 gave her confirmation. Casey involuntarily pushed her into the arms of another. After her return in the 8x03, Casey and Brett bonded more and more. And every time someone saw the chemistry that the two of them shared, she diminished. She did it with Olivia, Foster, Kidd and even Julie. Things changed in the 8x17 when Sylvie seriously started working on her feelings. In any case she became more and more convinced that the feelings she felt were not reciprocated, and mostly WRONG. He was still her best friend's ex, and she knew that he would not easily forget Dawson.

So when talking to Stella in this 9x02 SYLVIE DOES NOT WANT TO SPEAK TO CASEY BECAUSE IT IS SURE THAT HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH HER, BUT THAT HE IS  IN LOVE WITH DAWSON. So she thinks the solution is to pretend this conversation never happened.

CASEY ASKS HER OUT, IN HIS OWN WAY

Casey wants to understand better the exchange of jokes that there have been between them in the dormitory. And on top of that he wants to ask her to get out of the 7x22, so I think it was the right time to do it considering that he could have lost her. The way he asks her out is very funny. How he claps and waves his hands. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF CASEY. The faces of Hermann and Mouch say it all.

THE DATE AT MOLLY’S

The way Casey gets up when he sees her and asks her if he can offer her something to drink, it makes me laugh my head off. He's in serious trouble: he doesn't know how to handle it.

Here the evening takes a completely unexpected turn. Gallo does what he should not do. He explains everything that happened at the beginning of the episode and Brett FOR THE FIRST TIME questions Casey's feelings. She asks herself "maybe he feels something for me?". The answer is clearly yes. Just look at their exchange of glances. One feels too much between the two of them. In any case, Dawson's shadow always makes itself felt in her head, and moreover she would like to kiss him but she can't because of a ban she has imposed herself. So she runs away. She is afraid.

The way Casey gets up is so sweet. He still doesn't understand what's wrong. But he knows there's something he did that Brett didn't take well.

AVOID CASEY

When the shift starts Casey tries to say goodbye to her, but she doesn't answer. On the contrary, she runs inside the firehouse. And the same thing happens when they are reassembling the ambulance door. Severide's words are prophetic. Sylvie avoids Casey because on the one hand she wants to kiss him, and on the other hand she is afraid that she will not be able to take Gabby's place and that there is no game for her. There will always be Dawson in first place. Casey realizes once again that something is wrong (he still can't figure out what it is though). But his look says it all, and Severide notices it too. And it gives him the best suggestion. UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT LOOK MEANS.

I would like to point out that Stella, Severide, Mouch, Hermann, Gallo, Capp and Tony all saw the connection that brettsey have. The whole firehouse know. Even Tony who speaks very little says for the first time his own ("we don't know what happened").

THE KISS

First of all I find it beautiful that Casey went to ask for explanations. Their "talk to me" is the key to everything. They have always confided in each other, and have done so very much in these two years (7x02 and 8x16 for example). Tell each other what's wrong is the basis of a solid relationship. Sylvie then reveals the reason and kisses him. She makes the first move. And I found it fantastic. Clearly Matt gives in immediately. I want to point out that during the kiss they smiled, even with their eyes. Their happiness could be felt in the air along with their sweetness. It was beautiful and I loved it as all the time there was delicacy. I don't think we need other words to describe it. And they both wanted it for a long time. At least from 7x21. What patience.

THE PROBLEM: GABBY DAWSON

Let us now analyze the Gabby Dawson problem. As I have already widely explained Sylvie is afraid because she could take a place that is complicated to replace at best. She fears the confrontation with the one and only woman she thinks Casey has loved and will love. So she decides to clarify this issue with him right away, and I find it an extremely mature attitude. I want to emphasize that until now Brett has had messed up stories, broken engagements, so now she is looking for THE ONE. She finally found him, but there is the Dawson problem. Let's remember that in the 8x09 Dawson came back and Matt ended up back in bed with her. Can you build something serious and lasting with a person who as soon as the ex returns there is a risk that he will end up in her bed? That's what Brett is afraid of. Maybe for him it's just a desire to have sex, while for Sylvie it's trying to make the choices to start a family. Let's try to unravel the skein, and clarify some of my points of view.

I loved the Dawseys, very much. I found them beautiful. Their story was all passion, and I loved it. Gabby was a tough girl, Casey was a good guy and I liked them a lot. Then at a certain point (maybe due to the problem of becoming parents), each of them started to take a different path, in fact to be precise Gabby did. Matt and Dawson communicated very little, especially in recent times, and the important decisions were ALWAYS AND ONLY HERS. She confronted Matt at the end, when the decision had already been made. I've always admired Dawson's resolution, but in some attitudes I found it exaggerated. The choice to try to have more children even with a pregnancy at risk ONLY HERS, the choice to move to Puerto Rico? ONLY HERS AND OVERALL IS THE ONE THAT LEAVES CASEY, THE ONE THAT SENDS PAPERS FOR DIVORCE. SHE RETURNS, THEN SHE LEAVES. The one that says if you want, there is always a place in my tent. 

Until now the decisions have been unilateral. Casey tries in his own way to make a new life for himself. He succeeds very hard. Initially he has a flirt with the journalist, then a flirt with the smart girl who interrupts immediately, and then from 8x03 let's say that his feelings for Brett, already present in my opinion from 7x19 at least ARE ALWAYS GROWN. 

But why when Sylvie asks, he doesn’t respond: “I love you”? Simple, he hasn't understood it yet. Let's understand each other. Matt can't explain how he feels about Sylvie because he has never felt it before. He has these strong feelings, totally new. Here, in addition to a strong passionate component (which the Dawseys certainly did not lack) there is a strong mental component that makes all the difference. Brett and Casey have very similar characters, something that certainly could not be said with Dawson and have created a deep friendship. Basically speak his actions for him. Jumping out of a truck, asking her nervously if she wants to go out with him. These are all attitudes that have not been seen in Matt Casey before. They are attitudes of a person who is in love. His not being able to answer is dictated by the fact that he has never faced the problem. He has never closed the door with Gabby and he has always left a gap, at first very big, that he believes that that is still open, but which actually lacks a small push to close it permanently. 

In essence Matt has to close definitively with the past and with all the drama that the relationship with Dawson has left. For example one of these is the problem of being rejected. This explains his nervousness towards Sylvie. He is not giving up completely. So Matt has to work on his emotions and he can't answer because he never asked himself the question. He took it for granted that he had moved on, but he hadn't put an end to it. I'm sure he will. Because he has to make his mind understand what his heart has already understood long ago. It must work on himselt and let off steam, talk to someone. These feelings for Brett have always been kept to himself. He has to shout it to the world instead.

Fortunately Matt and Sylvie are friend before lovers. They have built a strong foundation, and they are still communicating. I’m sure they will find their way back to each other.

I hope you enjoy my “review”. Let me know if there is something you want to add, or if you think I’m wrong. I’d like to chat with you, so write me!

Love you all, and always ship Brettsey!

I would also ask @hamburgerheroes if she wants to participate in the next reviews with her fantastic GIFs, and maybe alternate in the work if you like to comment together also the next episodes. Let me know. 

#brettsey #review #9x02 #chicagofire #brettxcasey #sylviebrett #mattcasey #mattxsylvie #sylvie #matt #chatwithme

[chick-from-nz]

Paper, Scissors, Rank (Ch: 4)

CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually) 

WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, more military talk,  spelling and grammatical errors. Flippy floppy points of view and tenses. Could be very OOC/AU for some. Carrillo may not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC 

AUTHORS NOTE:  big thanks to @1zashreena1 and @girlpornparadise for letting me bounce ideas off them  while writing this, hopefully y'all enjoy this and finally, they meet! My first time writing this way so, be nice?

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

CHAPTER:   4 OF ?

TAG LIST (OPEN): @girlpornparadise @1zashreena1 @xxidontwikeitxx @nicke0115 @allalngthewtchtower @lettherebrelight 

 It's as if running into a wall of muscle knocked some sense into her. The name on the shirt scared her enough to trigger her cadet instincts to kick in quickly to allow her to shake the hands off, step back, and salute, despite being inside, which was a tradition reserved for only the army. She held the salute for longer than necessary, wondering why the officer in front of her wasn’t returning it, instead just staring at her with one gorgeously sculpted eyebrow raised. Begrudgingly she dropped her arm, salute unreturned, and an embarrassed look on her face.

“Sir?” the title came out as more of a question than a statement like it normally would. Confusion was spreading through her brain like wildfire, this was new to her. Why was the high ranking officer, the highest she’d ever been in the presence of other than her father, not returning the mark of respect that had been drilled into her since a kid, although, given he wasn’t from around here, it may not be something he is used to. That and he probably never associates with someone that is as low of a rank as herself.   

“Perfect just the Cadet I was looking for, although I must say, not the meeting I was expecting” 

Fuck, that voice, I think I’m in love. Was the first thought that came to mind. That voice, gravely and like the richest of chocolates dossed with the slightest accent, matched the attractive man that stood before her, and hearing it oh so close to her, it made her insides melt. Her imagination definitely had not done his voice justice during any day dream that contained the handsome Colonel in front of her. Oh and how glorious those daydreams were, thinking about a particular dirty one where those huge arms of his were wrapped tightly around her, while his chest was pressed so tightly against her back had her blushing the spot.  Damn it what is it with me and crushing on the higher ups, get a grip girl! 

His words finally clicked in her head. “I’m sorry Sir, what do you mean you were looking for me?”. The confusion was most definitely evident on her face. 

The Colonel chuckled lightly, dark eyes fixated on the cadet before him. “I was made aware that the LT. Colonel was to inform the squadron of my choice tonight, is that not what happened Cadet?” 

Confusion once again hit Greyson full force. Did Sinclair know the whole time that someone had been picked. Of course he did, he said they had been informed, but according to the Colonel in front of her, he knew the exact Cadet that had been chosen. Why hadn’t he said anything to them then?.  

It was at the end of the previous thought that the Cadet deflated, maybe he had told the cadet that had been selected, but it just wasn’t her. Shame ran through her like a lead bullet, of course she wouldn't have been chosen, what Colonel in their right mine would chose a Cadet who had been swept up in a rumour that she was fucking the LT. Colonel in charge of overseeing the entirety of the training squadron just so she could make her way to top recruit. 

“Cadet? I asked you a question”. His tone was clipped. Harsh but straight to the point, and just the right amount of authority to snap the cadets attention from  being in her own thoughts to looking him dead in the eye. Before she quickly averted her gaze to stare at his boot, that alone made him smirk. Good , he thought, she knows her place. 

“I’m sorry Sir, I ummm, I got lost in my thoughts, and umm, no the, ah, the LT. Colonel did not inform us of who you had picked, Sir...” Greyson stuttered, the Colonel was quite the intimidating man up close. All broad shouldered, straight backed and cold facade. If she was being quite honest with herself, she thought the rumours of his brutality might well be true from where she was standing. The way he was watching her was like a predator waiting for his prey to make the one wrong move that would land them in his jaws. A shiver  of fear ran down her spine at the thought. 

The Colonel huffed in annoyance. “Then I suggest you spend less time in your head and more time paying attention, especially when being addressed by a senior officer, Cadet! A mistake like that will get one of your crew killed if you're not careful” 

The cadets stomach plummeted at the thought, she knew all too well what would get a fellow soldier killed, her father liked to remind her that during her weeks leading up to her enlistment. The countless horror stories that had her waking up in a cold sweat had instilled a deep fear of failure within the cadet, but she had not let that show throughout her training, least of all her father hear off it through the chain of command. 

Flustered, Greyson replied with a quick, “I’m sorry Sir, I really am”, only to be laughed at by the Colonel.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it when someone dies Cadet, I’m sure you know that all too well with what your father has done, don't let his mistakes become your own!” The final part was growled out with an anger that permeated the air. 

Greyson swallowed down her rising anger and levelled the officer in front of her with a glare. It was a well known fact amongst the instructors that mentioning her father struck a nerve within her and set her off, many a time she had been reprimanded for near miss fights from her fellow cadets pulling the dad card around her. The cadet figured that either the Colonel knew this and was trying to get a rise out of her, or just knew of her father's past indiscretions and was trying to use it to discredit her. It didn’t matter which thought she pondered more, both made her blood boil just as much. 

Trying to keep a cool demeanor around the officer in front of her was a struggle. He was smirking at her like he just had just won the lottery, all tight lipped and cocky. He had got her hook, line and sinker, she had fallen for his trap. Giving a frustrated huff the cadet looked away from the smug officer in front of her, hoping for something to grab her attention so she could dispel her anger. It seemed however, the Colonel wasn’t done just yet. 

“Yes I know all about Daddy dearest and his mistakes, Greyson. It's a wonder you even bothered to enlist with all the hatred and dishonesty that follows your name around.”. 

He knew exactly what he was doing, if this was the cadet he was going to steal away from the signal corps then he needed her to rebut him, yell at him, something. Anything that would show some hard spirit that would be needed to complete the daily brutality and challenges that would likely come from being in his team. He had heard what she was capable of, now to just see it for himself. 

“Cat got your tongue Cadet? Or are you used to being fucked over in a different kind of way by your superiors. Must be nice to have the LT. Colonel at your beck and call doing your bidding for you and getting you the points to become top cadet. Isn't that right Greyson?” The teasing lilt to his tone was seemingly lost on the cadet in front of him. He watched as waves of varying emotions crossed her face. Something akin to shame crossed first, followed closely by what he assumed was embarrassment, only to be followed by, once more, anger. Which seemed to be this cadets’ default emotion. 

Greyson had never once felt this much anger in one go, yes she knew the Colonel was trying to get a rise out of her, and mentioning her father usually did the trick. The idea that he was discrediting her based on rumours and one small sighting of something that definitely wasn’t a professional interaction with the Lt. Colonel during the assessment day somehow struck a nerve so deep she was sure that this feeling was beyond anger, in fact, she was livid. He didn’t know anything about her and he was going to insinuate that! Oh he definitely had another thing coming.

“Respectfully. Sir.” Greyson quipped in a bratty tone, “You don’t know the first thing about me, so you have no right to insinuate that I am sleeping my way to the top!” her distaste for the Colonel before her was growing by the second, “I would have thought it well below your rank to believe the rumours of jealous school girls, but i guess I was wrong. Seems like you aren’t much of a fucking Colonel at all!”. The final words of the sentence were growled out in a tone so low it would have scared her fellow cadets half to death. Her eyes were alight with emotion, her eyes turning a deep green in colour, pupils constricted. The anger was rolling off her in waves. 

“There it is, that's the cadet I had heard all about. Daddy’s little mimic”. His grin was bordering maniac, he was pushing her buttons and striking the nerves he had hoped to, it was just a matter of seeing how much further she was willing to go to defend herself and her reputation. But he knew for sure now, this was his cadet. 

Those words and that stupidly attractive grin was the last straw for the cadet. Without really processing her next move she curled her right hand into a fist and aimed directly for the underside of that chiseled jaw of his, hoping for a knockout, even if she’d face a potential discharge because of it. This man had fucked her off one too many times for her to internalise these emotions. 

The punch thrown at him probably would have knocked him out too, if he hadn’t had the years of experience chasing down criminals in Colombia. He had seen the way her body had gone taught, fist curling, before she had wound her arm back and thrown it forward towards him with such conviction and determination that would have made him proud, if he hadn’t been trying to prove a point. Her plan failed though as he caught her wrist, her fist a mere inch from its intended target. He used her wrist as leverage, while taking a step forward, and slammed her, not all that gently, into the wall behind her.

The air was knocked out of Greyson in an instant, instead of hitting her target, she had ended up pressed between the Colonels’ hard body and the wall behind her. His mouth hovered over her ear, breath hot with each passing exhale, the shiver that wracked her body was not one of fear this time. It seemed as if minutes passed by, she could feel every hard ridge of his body pressed into hers. From his strong thighs right up to his too defined pecs that were pinning her against the wall. He was so close his belt buckle was digging into her stomach. 

She released a shaky breath at the thought. This bastard of a man had pushed her to her breaking point and now held her against the wall like it was nothing. She struggled against him for a short moment, feigning an escape, but he just pushed her wrist closer to the wall and his body impossibly closer to her own. Quiet the compromising situation. 

Carrillo huffed out a laugh at the way the cadet struggled beneath him before slumping in defeat. He had her exactly where he wanted her, she had shown her hand and was now at his mercy. 

“I definitely made the right choice” he murmured against the shell of her ear, delighting in the way she let out the smallest of gasps. “I’d say congratulations, but I guess that's not needed. You're on the team Cadet” and with those final words he released her from his hold and took a step back. Noting the way she slumped against the wall without his support. He had to smirk while taking in her disheveled appearance, she looked positively wrecked. With that final thought he adjusted his uniform and disappeared down the hallway in search of the LT. Colonel, leaving a very confused and very flustered cadet in his wake

#horacio carrillo #horacio carrillo x oc #horacio carrillo x reader #paper scissors rank #chapter 4 #narcos fanfic #modern au

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

#ok i wrote some if this on the tube/on the bus/at the dentist/in bed so if this seems like it’s all over the place #that’s bc i was literally all over the place skshg #*of #also i love how you used tags skajahsg #lovely anon #<3 #sorry if some of the sentences didn‘t make sense or were too fucking long i wrote half of this half asleep #and i know i dont have to apologise but still like no one should have to read all my page long sentences that arent even proper sentencesskk

[bloodydamnit]

(1/5) hey! so I had smth that im a little nervous/scared to say, in regards to rr season 2? ive been debating mentioning it, & I dont know how to word it exactly, because I ADORE everything yall are doing, dont get me wrong. I ADORE robin, I love how yall are developing her: however, some of the elements feel like homeschooler stereotypes? which may not be the intention, im sure its not, but like,,

Hey there! First of all, thank you so much for sending this message. There’s no reason to be nervous or scared! We really appreciate messages like this. It helps us further develop ourselves in addition to our characters and helps us think about things outside of our own experiences. So this is really really great. 

With that being said, it absolutely was not our intent and while I completely understand where you’re coming from, all the things we’ve used to describe Robin has kind of been in the absence of thinking about her being homeschooled? To be honest, I don’t even really think we thought of much of her homeschooling, besides the fact that she was, why she was, and who took the time to teach her. I dont know if you’re a part of the discord, but last night Robin spoke a bit more about herself in the chat. And there, she said she grew up in the Bronx, NYC. Our point of homeschooling her wasn’t only because it was the only viable option we saw? Considering she did lose 6 years and catching her up would be somewhat of an impossibility, especially since she lost so much of her formative education, but because her venturing out into the Bronx, alone, as a kid with others, wouldn’t have been conducive to her learning or growth. Especially with the few resources the Bronx gave in their area, Robin’s family’s monetary status, and the utter neglect NYC provides to particularly children of color, children of color from underprivileged backgrounds, and in her case a child of color who was so far behind with such a wrought and traumatic past. 

Okay that was a lot. I’m just trying to explain why we had her homeschooled in the first place. As for the stereotypes, Im really sorry it came off that way. It was in absolutely no way our intent. Molding her to the character she is was more based on her parents being overprotective (sometimes justifiably so) rather than anything that could be placed on homeschooling. That includes her not being around many kids, not knowing how to interact in social circles, etc. On the note of her not being around many kids, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Bronx or Brooklyn, or east Harlem specifically (since everything is becoming so gentrified), but a lot of kids end up being sent out to private schools further in the city so they don’t get caught in the neglection of public schools (by the city) in their neighborhoods. That also includes the prevalence of gangs and other ‘negative’ influences that take hold in the black community in particular. One example I can give is Spiderman into the Spiderverse lol. That’s just something recent that I know most people have seen and can go ‘ooohhhhh’. Same thing with “The Hate U Give” and a shit ton of other movies. It was more of her parents being overprotective in her community due to what happened to her and wanting to keep an eye, rather than our stereotypical view of homeschooled people (I’m friends with many!)

As for Robin’s way of speaking, I completely get how that can be seen as a stereotype. Honestly, we made her that way because 1) we had to separate her typing from the others. Andrew’s very grammatically correct, Neil’s fairly short, Seth uses all lower cases, Allison types how she speaks, Renee is very polite, and Dan is fairly assertive. We had to find something to separate Robin from the group. And what we chose is that her sentence structure may not be perfect in the sense that a lot of her sentences are run-ons and she lacks commas. 2) We chose her lack of cursing more for her own moral code than anything. Her way of speaking is something she can control. How she voluntarily comes off to people is under her control. And after growing up in the Bronx, being a mixed black kid, having a traumatic story, a lot of people will look down upon her and expect the worse. We wanted Robin to sort of rise from the ashes, so to speak. We wanted her to know exactly how she comes off to people and how she can ‘be taken seriously’ in the white pockets she needs to be in order to get her story out. We sort of see it as a very long, committed, code switch. Especially since for so many years, she wasn’t. Hence why she came to Neil and Andrew in the first place. 

I’m sorry that this is so long and if this is confusing or doesnt make any sense!!! It really wasn’t our intent and I’m not trying to clean up and save our ass or anything. I just wanted to explain why we chose to make Robin the way we did and honestly, it was in the complete absence of homeschooling. But I totally see how it can come off that way and I’m sorry! We’ll be more cognizant of it in the future for sure. Perhaps not in changing her character because we feel really strongly about why we’ve made her the way we have, but most certainly in explaining OUR motives throughout the story, etc. Maybe we’ll even have a talk in the story with a character about stereotypes like that. If we choose that, I would love to talk to you more to make sure we get it right!

Again, thank you so much for this. It really helps us become more aware and we appreciate it a lot. Sorry for blabbing for so long!!! And thank you for the support. It means a lot and if we ever do something to make you uncomfortable, please let us know so we can either rectify or change it or at least become more aware!

-BloodyDamnit

#red rabbits pod #rrp #robin cross #aftg #Anonymous

[william-desmond]

The Answer (1639 words) by hawk_hacks Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Magical Twins, Original Work Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Adalia Abelard, Lilyana Abelard (mentioned), Varis Bazelle (mentioned), The other Guardians are also here Series: Part 2 of Dark Fire AU Summary: With Lilyana gone, all Adalia is left with is the book that the other held so close. Maybe now the Queen will finally get the answers she’s been looking for.

TW: Blood Author’s Disclaimer: Again, other than minor grammatical changes here and there this fic is basically a first draft. Meaning it might be a complete mess. Read at your own risk.

Adalia could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Breath coming out heavy as she forced her body to relax, I.. I did it. 

Now what?

The question had not been one Adalia had considered before. Yet now it seemed to be consuming her thoughts as she stared at the body in front of her. The body that seemed all too determined to cling to life with rattled breath. The sound made Adalia shiver. 

Should I put her out of her misery? The Queen wondered to herself. After a moment her face scrunched up in disgust, No. Let her suffer. It’s what she deserves with all the trouble she caused.

But is it what I want?

“Yes! It is!” Adalia snapped at herself a little louder than she meant to. She tensed, pausing. Once no one came, she relaxed, I need to get out of here. 

As the Queen turned to leave she stopped. In the corner of her eye, she saw a book. The book. The one that Lilyana had tried to keep away from her. The one Lilyana died trying to keep away from her.

Why?

Curiously Adalia walked over and picked the thing up. It seemed more like a journal than a book. The cover was blank minus some scratches here and there. It was tempting to open it right then to see what was inside, but Adalia restrained herself.

I need to get back to base . Especially with all this blood.

Adalia had expected to feel some sort of triumph being covered in the blood of her enemy. To get over her aversion of being covered in it like Varis said she would. 

She wasn’t there just yet.

A rustle from nearby bushes caused Adalia to jump. Someone’s coming. She darted into the shrubbery in the opposite direction of the sound. Although through the leaves she couldn’t see who it was she heard their voice: 

“Rhett! Rhett get over here, someone’s hurt!”

Humans.

   “Queen Adalia! You’re- back..” 

Adalia could hear the sentence die in Liv’s throat as the other seemed to process all the blood. The others didn’t appear to be in the line to speak up either. She could tell none of them expected her to go through with the plan by the startled look in their eyes. Even Samantha seemed unnerved.

  But the deed is done.

“I’ll be in my quarters,” Adalia told them sternly “Do not disturb me.”

  She walked off before any of them had the chance to reply.

Once in the privacy of her tent, Adalia tore off the cape that had begun to weigh particularly heavy on her shoulders. She carelessly tossed it aside. Not bothering to hang it up. She walked over to the desk that she had put up and set down Lilyana’s journal. For a moment Adalia simply let it sit there. Begging to be opened and read. What would be in there? Would it just be some basic journal where the other kept note of the things she did every day? Would it hold some deep dark secret? Would it hold the answer to why Lilyana seemed so determined to take her down?

Only one way to find out.  

Slowly Adalia opened the journal to the first page. 

“I finally got to meet Adalia today. She didn’t seem to recognize me and our conversation ended with her sword at my throat. Not exactly how I wanted things to go but its a start! I think.”

Adalia remembered the interaction very clearly. Somehow Lilyana had snuck her way into her quarters without being seen. She didn’t get far in what she was trying to say before Adalia had her up against a wall threatening to slit her throat. Though most of what the other had said was lost on her, Adalia couldn’t forget the look on Lilyana’s face when she said:

“Wait- you don’t.. recognize me?”

Lilyana had looked at her as if she had burned her favorite possession and then returned the ashes to her. After the realization seemed to hit that Adalia didn’t recognize her, Lilyana apologized profusely and started rambling about how she thought Adalia would know. It didn’t get to last too long before Adalia had thrown her out and told her not to come back.

  Thought I would know what?

  Only one way to find out.

“I’m still not sure why she didn’t recognize me. Did mom not tell her? Why wouldn’t mom tell her? Did she not get the chance to?”

That made Adalia raise an eyebrow. What does her mom have to do with any of this? Unless..

No.

Adalia found herself laughing at the thought.

That’s ridiculous. It wouldn’t even make any sense for her to-

But what if she is?

The Queen found herself leaning into the journal to read more.

“If she doesn’t know then how am I supposed to tell her? How do I even get her to believe me? I guess I’ll just have to figure it out as I go.”

The entry ended there and another from a day later began. Adalia skipped through the pages. Looking for a date closer to the current one. A particular entry caught her eye.

“I messed up. I messed up and now Adalia wants me dead. I didn’t mean to hurt her. It was an accident. She was waving her sword around at me and I got scared like a little kid. I hurt my sister and”

Sister.

Her sister-

Adalia shook her head, “It has to be a joke. Some kind of sick joke she’s trying to make-” she tried to reason with herself.

But why would she lie in a journal that I probably wasn’t even meant to ever see?

She kept reading.

“and now she wants me dead. She’s not going to believe me now. Especially with Varis constantly in her head. Even if I tell her Varis will just find some way to twist things.”

A shiver rolled down Adalia’s back at the mention of Varis. Although the other wasn’t there it suddenly felt like their eyes were boring into her. She shook her head and brought her attention back to the journal.

“I need to get them away from each other. Its the only chance I have to get Adalia to believe me. But I don’t know how I’m going to do but I have to. I need her to believe me. I need for her to believe we’re sisters. I promised mom I would look out for her I can’t just

Adalia slammed the book shut, causing the table to shake. She shook a deep breath.

It’s just a lie. A very complicated, long game lie that she just kept going in her personal journal that I probably would have never seen if I hadn’t-

It’s not a lie, is it?

Adalia could feel her gut start to twist and an all too familiar feeling started to rise in her throat. Here she was again. Covered in the blood of a family member ready to cry like a child and feeling like she was going to be sick. She screwed her eyes shut.

How disappointing.

“Um, Queen Adalia?” Liv’s voice came from outside the tent “I know you asked not to be disturbed but, I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m fi- ” Adalia tried to say but her voice crackled. Although her back was turned she could hear Liv enter the tent. She didn’t bother facing the other.

“Do you.. want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about I’m fine ”

“But-”

“Get OUT Liv!” Adalia snapped as she turned around. Liv flinched away before her face morphed into something that could only be described as pity. Adalia scowled. 

“I don’t think it’s good for you to be alone right now” Liv pointed out gently “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but at least let me stay. Please?”

A moment passed before Adalia let out a sigh, “ Fine. ”

Smiling, Liv walked over and stood next to the Queen. The silence wasn’t particularly comfortable but Adalia found it easier to center herself with someone next to her. 

I’m safe.

I’m here.

I have everything under control.

Everything is ok.

Breathe.

“Liv, I need you to do something for me,” Adalia said softly.

The other turned to her curiously, “Yes?”

“I need you to ask Skyle to locate the body of- you know who ” Adalia explained with roughness in her voice, “Before I left her some of those weird human creatures came around and I want to know what they did with her. No matter what Skyle finds I want her to simply come back and report it straight to me, understood?”

Liv nodded, “Of course my Queen.” She paused before taking Adalia's hand in her own, “Remember to be nice to yourself. You’re doing the best you can and what you think is right. That’s more than enough.” With that, she was gone.

In her wake, she left a single gladiolus in Adalia’s hand. The other stared at the fragile flower. It was mostly white with a pinkish center. Part of Adalia was tempted to crush the thing in her hand and turn it to ash, but she refrained. Instead she turned back to the table and carefully placed it down above Lilyana’s journal. Said journal continued to sit there mockingly. Still tempting to be read and looked through. 

“Might as well do something while I wait,” Adalia muttered to herself as she opened the journal again. Long having tuned out the cyan blood still on her clothes.

#the magical twins

[what-even-is-thiss]

I wrote a creative essay about my least favorite aunt. Yeet.

Read it if you’d like. I’m just happy to finally get the damage she caused me mostly dealt with to the point where I feel comfortable writing about it.

Language Barrier

Whenever I speak in German my expressions and hand gestures suddenly become ridiculously animated, like I’m trying to make up for my lack of vocabulary with a sign language that hasn’t been invented yet. One that only I know the meaning of. I flap my hands around like a maniac and point to things I don’t know the words for and make broken sentences that sound like a caveman made them as I misgender inanimate objects left and right.

Das. Das. That. That. This. This.

I can physically feel my brain rewiring itself. I speak like fool. Wrong order spoken are words. Sometimes anxiety make cry me. Social kind.

However, I speak much more German than my uncle’s mother and stepfather speak of English so I’m forced to use what I can and hope they can understand my thick American accent as we stay with them in Southern Germany. Everyone keeps trying to reassure me that my German is very good, but I can’t stop out of order speaking.

Kann ich habe Brot mehr bitte? Can I having bread more please?

I want to crawl into a hole and die.

My grandmother warned me that a person can grow tired of the amount of bread that Germans eat and according to that Bible thing that we both read man cannot live by bread alone. I’m starting to understand both of those things, eating bread and jam for breakfast yet again because I don’t like butter with marmalade and there’s no cheese left.

The weather, unlike my breakfast or Deutsche Grammatik, is perfect. Slightly cold, sunny and overcast at the same time. The neighborhood that my uncle’s parents live in is beautiful, suburban, on the edge of Schwartzwald, known in English as the Black Forest. I can’t remember the name of the town but I do know that we tried to get a brewery tour and my aunt, her twins, and I waited in the van as my uncle talked loudly at somebody in a local dialect until he got out of them that they don’t do tours anymore.

We went to a rope climbing course instead. My uncle, tall and skinny, balding, fit, took the twins, boy and girl, skinny like their dad, not taking after their mother, my mother’s sister, and went rope climbing in Schwartzwald.

I’m stuck talking with my aunt as we stand below the ropes course and I’m tired of speaking in German so we both take time to find comfort in each other’s distinctly Californian manner of speaking.

My aunt is a character. That’s a polite way to describe her if you don’t want to speak ill of someone that’s not in the room. She wears no makeup except for when she’s getting her picture taken or going somewhere important and she always looks stressed and tired with her eyes just a little too wide open. She’s maybe four inches shorter than me but she has the ability to make me feel like I only come up to her waist. In my mind she’s always wearing a knee length beige skirt and a green t-shirt even though she owns other articles of clothing than that, including more than 20 pairs of shoes. Her eyes are wide and her hands move in an animated fashion even when she speaks English. When she speaks German she becomes an exaggerated version of herself, perhaps to make up for her thick American accent and occasionally sketchy grammar. She has lived in Switzerland since the 90s and spoken German since the 80s. I once asked her how to tell what a noun’s grammatical gender is. She told me that she had no idea.

I didn’t know my mother for very long before she died but my grandmother tells me that when my mom was young, to describe her sister, she quoted a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The one about the little girl with the little curl who when she was good she was very good and when she was bad she was horrid.

My aunt’s hair is straight, but other than that the poem describes her very well. Today would be a day she was horrid.

I don’t claim to be a perfect human being. I can be a bitch sometimes just like anybody else. The thing is though, my aunt never let me know when I was doing something bitchy like a normal person would. Instead she let me keep on doing it until she was ready to explode. And then she exploded.

Or, no. Not exactly being bitchy. Just doing something that she didn’t understand or like. She’s a very animated person and her voice goes like

And

Up.

Down.

All the time.

She’s very expressive. I, on the other hand, am not that excitable. I smile, yes, I cry, yes, but I try to be stoic. I like being stoic. It feels natural. I don’t want to express to everyone around me every time I am excited or upset. In my opinion it’s none of their business. I also tend to express gratitude through actions and gift giving rather than hurting my face and voice smiling and screaming all of the time.

I had thought bringing gifts from America, delivering onto my aunt’s family the ever elusive box of grits and Bakersfield candy and trinkets from Disneyland Anaheim would show gratitude. I was under the impression that helping to cook dinner, pack the van, refill the ice trays, take care of the twins, carry the groceries, clean the house, would show how much I loved her. I learned though, in a firestorm under the canopy of dark trees and children riding on zip lines that our love languages didn’t translate properly and she thought that my lack of expressiveness meant that I hated her. She was hysterical about it. I then expressed myself by changing into a lovely shade of red and producing saltwater from my eyes.

Climbing hills is a thing you get used to when you spend time in Central Europe. Walking for three or four kilometers isn’t such a feat in a valley, where the ground is flat and rarely changes, but in hilly terrain you quickly learn just how long that distance is and how much walking can hurt. Locals take no pity on you because they expect that everyone has those muscles built up in their legs when you’ve never had to use your legs like that for long stretches of time before.

Navigating emotion and expectations at home is easy. There is one language being spoken and everyone uses it to tell each other what’s wrong. When staying with my aunt for long periods of time, however, you start to understand emotional exhaustion. Something that would take half a minute to communicate takes up ten minutes of screaming because she expected you to know everything. A flat crowded city turns into a hilly countryside with no help for miles. You quickly learn how to swear in German because she pushes her husband to screaming as well.

Scheiße.

Eventually my uncle finished with the ropes course and pulled me away from her. He gently explained to me in English what we were going to be doing for the next few days. I stopped leaking water from my eyes and tried to remember what had prompted her to start yelling at me but I couldn’t figure it out. Another talent she has. Distracting you from linear events.

While I was in Germany there was a terrorist attack in Münich. Brexit was fresh in everyone’s minds. My first presidential election would be happening in November. I only understood about half of what was said on the news. My little cousins and their dad took turns translating for me. I had the feeling that I still wasn’t getting the whole story.

My aunt and uncle have twins. Test Tube Babies. The girl is the older twin but strangely enough doesn’t hold it over her brother’s head, which would fit perfectly with her personality. The boy takes after his mother in some respects, namely her loud voice.

When we went to Prague we stayed in a campground because that’s a lot cheaper than a hotel and that family affords a second house because they’re stingy. Almost every morning it was a struggle to get the boy out of bed. He and his sister were almost ten and he screamed and refused to move. He cried. He was loud. No amount of discipline worked. His sister stood around quietly going about her business, as did I. We did the same thing when her parents got into screaming matches.

Prague is an old city. A busy city. I loved it, even with all of the pay toilets and Czech bluntness. Even when an angry Czech lady smoking a cigarette yelled at me in broken English for not knowing that I had to pay for the restroom. The old castles and cathedrals and statues and just the right amount of dirtiness in the subway more than made up for it.

My aunt payed for me to go look at a museum that she didn’t want to look at. She told me to take all the time I wanted as the rest of the family waited outside. I didn’t sense any passive aggressiveness that time, so I did. It was a complex that was part of the Prague art museum, a system spread out around the city. The section I walked through by myself was a collection of medieval Roman Catholic art. Stained glass windows, paintings, tapestries. I’m a Lutheran that lives with atheists, so my experience with Catholic art is mostly non existent. Atheists don’t have religious figures to draw and Lutherans are extremely stingy with their images, worried about crossing into the realm of idolatry.

One thing I noticed was that Mary appeared everywhere, even in stories I thought she didn’t belong. In some images she stood equal with Jesus, reminding me of a female God. She seemed mature, different from the outcasted teenage mother I had told children about in Sunday School classes. Different from the refugee that had been painted for me in sermons. I wondered what kind of mother this Mary was. I wondered what her Hebrew sounded like. Or, maybe this Mary spoke Czech and the Mary in Germany spoke German and the Mary in the Vatican spoke Latin and the Mary my Catholic friends at home looked to spoke Spanish. Maybe if I prayed to Mary she would speak English. Maybe she would turn out to speak German and would look down at the frantic dancing of my hands, trying to find meaning in it.

But I don’t pray to Mary, and neither do my aunt or uncle. I report to them what I saw and my observations about Mary. Namely that she seems to be everywhere. My aunt doesn’t quite pick up on the fact that I simply find it interesting and takes it as an invitation to rant about Catholics. I squint at her as we walk back to the subway. I’m trying to figure out if I’d somehow been speaking another language. She certainly seems to be. Maybe it’s a generational gap. Maybe it’s just her, but I try to turn the conversation back to a tone of tolerance rather than complaint. A battle I quickly lose.

Later, in a public park in that busy city, my aunt yelled at me and cried because I had been calling her by her first name rather than Aunt. I nearly start leaking again. I shake. I think she’s speaking English but I don’t understand it. I physically step away from her as she accuses me of not seeing her as family. At the bottom of the hill we’re standing on a dog plays fetch with his owner. Neither of them take notice of the screaming middle aged American woman throwing accusations her deceased sister’s child as her own children zone out and wait for it to be over. No help comes. Nobody translates for me and Google Translate doesn’t have a setting for this.

Twenty minutes later she jokes with me as we find a rare but welcome burrito shop. I buy a mango soda imported from Mexico and it softens my homesickness. We eat on the steps of a light rail station. I laugh. The twins laugh and bounce around, talking to each other in a mixture of English, Swiss-German, and high German. The boy takes a bite out of my burrito and thinks the fact I can eat something that spicy makes me the coolest person in the world. My aunt laughs with me. We make plans for when we go to Southern Germany and visit her husband's parents. That’s where his dentist is. He needs a bit of work done. We’ll have fun, she promises. We had a good time in Prague. I put the bad times in a shoebox for later and then agree with her.

After she yells at me in Schwartzwald for not showing emotion I go quiet. I put more things in the shoebox I’ve made in my mind to deal with later. I learn that all of them have been eavesdropping on the phone calls I’ve been making to my dad and friends back home. My aunt approaches me about how I complained about the yelling. I’m suddenly paranoid and wonder if she read some of the postcards I sent out. I watch my words now and put the ones that might set off her fuse in the box. The little house outside of Zurich has started to feel like home when I return to it and I’m slightly disgusted at that realization. The flowers all make my eyes water and I’m not given nearly enough allergy pills. I still don’t understand what language she’s speaking. Her words are in English or German, as are mine, but we still don’t understand each other.

Currants, especially the red ones, are beautiful fruit. Not easy to find in stores, even in Europe, so you’ve gotta pick them yourself. My aunt and uncle have a small city of currant bushes living in their backyard that hugs the bank of the stream that runs through the neighborhood. They’re beautiful and inviting, asking you to eat them please, but when you do your face scrunches up at the tartness. I never did care for sour tastes, so I found my own way to make the currants sweet by baking them into scones. At first my aunt was sceptical of my scones but after some reassurance from her kids that they didn’t taste like cinnamon she tried them and agreed that I did a good job. They were sweet and went really well with milk or tea. We all enjoyed them very much. Nobody had to translate anything.

Every member of that family gives excellent hugs when you can get them. They share drinks and food with each other, a concept that shocked me at first, but I quickly fell into the rhythm of it with them. They bought me my first beer and took me to Worms, Germany. I loved that place. I got to see one of the first print versions of Luther’s German translation of the bible. I ate pastries and tea with them at an outdoor cafe. It was cold and wet in the middle of the summer and the cobblestones made it even gloomier. The moving feet on the sidewalk seemed to have a language of its own and the new architecture standing by the old had no words to be translated but told a story nonetheless.

My experience in Europe was like Europe itself. Americans expect it to be shiny and beautiful, and it is, but you also have to pay to use the restroom which leads people to piss in the street. You will also find cigarette machines on almost every corner. There is one right outside my aunt and uncle’s second house. The packages of cigarettes have pictures of black lungs and diseased gums on them. The people smoke anyways. Europeans are people. They have drama, they worry about money, they cry, they abuse, they kick, they scream, they love. All the problems you had in America won’t disappear over there, and in fact you might find some new problems you didn’t expect. Like not finding salsa or not knowing how to deal with carnival rides that have no line and are boarded like a much more violent version of musical chairs. And don’t expect to practice your target language there either. The people will hear your accent and excitedly try and use you to practice English. And even if you do speak the language, don’t expect to understand with everyone. Hand gestures can only go so far.

When I got home I left the German language behind me for the most part. I also slowly cut off most contact with my aunt’s family. Six weeks spent putting things in a shoebox and not speaking whatever language my aunt was speaking with English and German words was enough for me. By the time I opened my shoebox a few months later it was rotten, smelly, and leaking. It took over a year to clean it out and it’s still warped and stained, containing whispers of my own desperate language that would never penetrate my aunt’s skull or jump over the barrier we had built together.

My rotten shoebox is revolting to look at, and while I was cleaning it parts of the mess got onto the happy memories but thankfully they’re still there. The cathedrals, the warm hugs, the new foods, and comforting rain are all there. Late nights and early mornings, potato pancakes and beer, museums and trees and the times I could honestly say; Ja, ich bin glücklich. Yes, I am happy. And thankfully that sentence is easy to translate.

#roman wrote a thing #religion mention #roman said a thing

[amitds]

Heroes Part II:

Summary: Kabuto and Manda are gone and now a new, greater threat has filled that void within Leaf City, one that even Sasuke (Kagatsuchi) and Sakura (Haruno),now partnered with Naruto (Kurama), find themselves falling against. To make matters worse, a dark cloud looms menacingly over Uchiha Corp. and Sasuke must deal with both while things between him and Sakura heat up, perhaps much too fast for either one of them to handle. 

Notes: I was in bed the other night, still trying to think up new stuff for my Witch and Vampire au, and I was like hmm how about I continue the Heroes AU? Then I started going off track and brain storming ideas for this instead of the witch/vampire project. Once again, this is supposed to be SS but I want to include Team 7 as a trio of heroes/teammates and through my work do what Kishi couldn’t with them so you’ll see stuff with Naruto and the enemies in the city as opposed to SS just being together. I also tried to write sex, which I still feel odd about though I’ve read a few books with sex scenes so there’s that... Oh yeah Naruto and Sakura’s designs are Kishi’s from the last the only difference being Sakura’s hair being a bit longer while Sasuke’s is from Sasuke Shinden which is from the same blank period. 

Read Heroes Part I here

 The Uchiha were never to be underestimated. This is what Sasuke had always known and this is what his brother had drilled into him since childhood. The mightiest of superheroes rose from this clan. The greatest of pioneers thrived under the Uchiha name. The most affluent were birthed within this family and reigned with the strength of the Uchiha. However, the Uchiha’s greatest, most coveted strength was always and will always be love. No family treasured love like the Uchiha and with love comes sacrifice. This is what Itachi said. 

Never in a million years, however, had Sasuke ever thought that this was actually a curse. How were you supposed to love and treasure love when those most precious to you have already died? How could you go through losing your loved ones again? How could you live knowing that your weakness killed those most precious to you?

Loving Sakura was dangerous. Of this Sasuke was most certain. It weakened him and exposed him to the bitterness of loss once more. More importantly, him loving Sakura put her life at stake. 

 After all, the Uchiha are cursed. 

Sasuke was running late. Again.

In his defense, he would have been on time had that cashier not held him back. 

His meetings were finished for the day and he, to his credit, was out of his office in time. Sasuke knew he had to keep an eye on that mysterious ‘Sirocco Development’ company that was aiming to snatch his firm’s tenders around Leaf City. But even then, with his extra strategy sessions, he was not held back.

 Tch. 

As if the company run by Sasuke Uchiha could be outmaneuvered. 

Yet, even with meetings about this threat screwing with his schedule, Sasuke was on time. Even his driver was prompt; awaiting him when he left Uchiha Tower so there wasn’t any hold up there either. 

 Alas his real hold up, the reason he still managed to run late, was at that damned store. That cashier just couldn’t help herself could she?

 It’s always like that though. Much to Sasuke’s chagrin, women are drawn to him for some reason. He never really paid any attention to their advances since he knew what he wanted and didn’t want in life; he knew what he was willing to give and himself was not one of those things. Though now, especially, it felt totally wrong.

In the five months following Kabuto’s defeat, Sasuke and Sakura had partnered up. However their bond superseded that of mere colleagues. From their partnership, a friendship was kindled and with their initial attraction roaring underneath, within months they were partners on a whole other level. They were lovers. 

 Sasuke had zero experience when it came to dating but he knew that this was right and that they were good.

They spent almost every night together: patrolling, watching movies, having dinner, snuggling...making out. 

So as far as Sasuke was concerned, he was Sakura’s.

They’ve never fought or argued, which was something Sasuke assumed he’d have to brace himself for. Indeed, the fact that he lived in such sweetness with her at present made his fear of his inevitable revelation all the more intimidating. 

He just couldn’t do it. As much as he knew he was bad for her and this would end in tragedy, Sasuke couldn’t pump the brakes on this affair. At least not yet.

He couldn’t control himself enough to leave and the constant gnawing of his conscience day and night wouldn’t let him rest. He was going to have to end this. That was the right thing to do. Part of him knew that, but if that was right then why was he feeling like this? 

Why did it feel like a tragedy in itself? 

Ugh. 

Suppressing his dark thoughts, Sasuke refocused on where he was at and remembered his night so far. He didn’t have to deal with that dilemma right now, he had bigger fish to fry and really, he needed to be with Sakura longer.

Taking all that time looking for that store, then that cashier... that’s what got him. When that cashier, Karen or Karin, or whatever the hell it was on that name tag she pushed forth while she stuck out her chest and tossed her hair tried to make small talk he knew it was time to go. When she tried to caress his hands as she handed him his bags, that’s when he knew for sure he needed to get the hell out of there A.S.A.P. and that’s when he left.

She wasn’t an unattractive woman but Sasuke didn’t know her and if he was honest with himself he had no interest in having small talk with her let alone bedding her. Not tonight. Not ever. It didn’t matter how much she or anyone else pushed. Sasuke was not interested. 

He would have sent Jugo, his driver and personal assistant, but Sasuke was resolute to do the shopping himself. After all, this was personal. This was for Sakura. 

“Are you satisfied with what you bought, Mr. Uchiha?” Jugo asked his eyes never veering from the road, at the exact moment Sasuke thought of him.

 “Is everything to your liking?” 

Jugo had a knack for knowing what was on Sasuke’s mind and showing up when thought about. Sasuke even wondered if he perhaps had a mind reading blessing or something at one time. Though, this is exactly why he was his right hand, in business and at home. 

He was efficient. 

“No I have everything I need,”  Sasuke replied, a simple smile warming his face as he held his bags. At this point, the driver could have been asking him if he wanted to eat his own eyeballs, and he’d smile subtly and agree all the same. Sasuke was lost in his thoughts.

 I mean this was Sakura he was meeting after all. 

Twenty minutes later, due to in no small part, Jugo and his lead feet breaking a few traffic laws, Sasuke was at the curb in front of Sakura’s. Sasuke’s sleek Mercedes-AMG C 43 4MATIC, however, was long gone, dashing and camouflaging into the blackness of night. There was no doubt in Sasuke’s mind that with Jugo behind the wheel that he’d already be parking the damned thing. 

Dressed in his all black ensemble:a black short sleeved buttoned down shirt, black slacks and black Gucci loafers with a titan black Rolex on his right arm, Sasuke made his way to Sakura’s two story rental. He was ready for his ‘date’. Luckily Jugo had brought him his change of clothes. That man really thought of everything. 

Naturally, they were just meeting to discuss the new case they’ve been dealing with for the past month, but when it came to Sasuke and Sakura, this was romance. This was a date. Bliss through the odd simplicity of their lives as super heroes was their norm and Sasuke wouldn’t trade that for anything: any romantic getaway or five star restaurant in the world. 

“What the..?”

When Sasuke rang her doorbell and Sakura didn’t open up or call out, panic flared within him. After a minutes, which felt like an hour, he was about ready to blow through the windows and dial Naruto. Fortunately, this was adverted when his phone vibrated in his pocket. 

Sakura had texted him. 

“Sorry just got out of the shower. I’m almost done so I’ll be down in a second. You know the code but... the titanium padlock’s inside... can you please hold a sec? Love you! 

:) <3 <3 <3″

“Ah.” Relief flooded through his mind as he read those words. That lock and titanium second door was his idea after all. 

He knew it was Sakura texting for sure because well... leave it to Sakura to text in complete, grammatically correct sentences while simultaneously leaving behind hearts and smiles.

 She always raged and ranted about the importance of proper grammar and the erosion of language in today’s society and even though Sasuke usually found it amusing when she was lit aflame with her passion and anger, he had to admit she was right. Fortunately, Sasuke Uchiha was dating a nerd. 

A hot nerd. 

It was trivial, well at least he thought it should be, but Sasuke’s mood always lit up when he got those hearts and smiles from Sakura. Those and the little plush animals and notes hidden in the lunches and pastry boxes she sent. 

Of course none of that could compare to the over the top kisses and hugs she lapped on him. God and when she ran her fingers through his hair and played with it...

 Sakura told him his spiky, black hair was cute and so help him he wasn’t cutting it for anything in the world. 

He’d never let her know how much those affected him though, since part of him wanted to remain mysterious and badass for his girl but Sasuke felt that she already knew and simply let him keep up his facade as her duty as his girlfriend. Fine by him. 

The thought of never receiving any of those again...

Shit. Not tonight, Sasuke. Focus!

This was a nightmare. 

To ease his mind, Sasuke re-read Sakura’s text and slowly, a sweetness and warmth enveloped him and chased away his worries.

  They still had time. Didn’t they? 

Reading her text and recollecting their relationship thus far Sasuke found himself grinning like an idiot all alone. Even in front of her house in the midst of all the cold and chill.

 Love really was something wasn’t it? He couldn’t imagine that this was his life and that such mushy, cliche crap was what he apparently craved and needed and from Sakura. He really did come a long way since Itachi’s death and the loneliness that followed. He’d always be grateful for this, even though it would not have been permanent. 

Waiting for Sakura, he decided to scope out the place as he usually does. One can never be too careful and as Kagutsuchi, Leaf City’s greatest hero, it was second nature to survey his surroundings at all times. No one was coming in here uninvited.

 Not as long as he was around. 

Sasuke never doubted that his girl could handle herself. After all she was just as much a hero as he was but he had to do this. It didn’t matter who it was. Sasuke was a protector and he was not losing anyone precious to him ever again. This wasn’t some cliche alpha male lover bullshit but rather, his way of doing things. His will of fire so to speak. 

Sasuke Uchiha looked out for those dear to him. Even if it meant insulting Sakura and having her pissed off, he was going to at least help protect her in her home. 

This was nonnegotiable. 

Upon inspection he noticed that Sakura’s two story Victorian was the same as it had been for the past few months. With its pearl- white coloring coupled with gray accents and its perfectly manicured lawn with vibrant hues of flowers scattered about, the place looked like it was plucked straight out of a magazine. Naturally.

Sakura was an adult and her dad was abroad but that didn’t stop him. He made sure to take care of his daughter. Apparently there was money to be made as a stand-up comedian, given this massive spread the man rented for his one and only daughter.

At first Sakura complained, most of the time to Sasuke, about her dad paying her rent for her for an entire house but clearly that ‘fire’ ran in their blood and her father was even more stubborn than she was since he won out in the end.  Sasuke didn’t know all the details about what went down between them but here she was three months later.

Of course Sasuke had to pretend to share her outrage but deep down he respected Kizashi Haruno and preferred Sakura in a large house instead of some scummy, cardboard box of an apartment. Sakura made it abundantly clear that she wasn’t staying in any of the condos or apartment complexes Sasuke offered so he had to take his victories where he could find them.

The night’s full moon only enhanced the scene, caressing everything with its milky radiance: beds of flowers, the walls of Sakura’s house and even the tall oaks she kept on the far left side. Everything was touched by moonlight which only made Sasuke’s job all the more simple.  

“Hn.”

In a flash, Sasuke took off.

Swiftly surveying the premises, Sasuke was in his element in the darkness and moonlight. Running, climbing and maneuvering about, Sasuke combed through Sakura’s property at a blinding pace. Every move was strategic, elegant and without sound like that of a trained dancer as Sasuke made his way around and between every corner.

It took Sasuke a mere seven minutes before he completed his scan, his scope out yielding nothing of consequence: the neighbour’s teen daughter, Moegi, sneaking out to meet some boy through her window; some punks gambling on a street corner and a middle aged guy walking a dog higher up the road. The dog looked like it wanted to take a bathroom break but as long as it didn’t wander onto Sakura’s lawn, not his problem.

 His last spot was a dilapidated tree house in the back, probably a remnant from the past owners’ family. When even that yielded nothing of suspicion Sasuke decided to head back before Sakura noticed. 

“What?!”

Sasuke froze. 

“Don’t trust me to stay safe?” 

 A voice chuckled as Sasuke calmed himself and extinguished his now lit fireball before being totally and completely blindsided. He was close to the porch when he was caught red handed, literally (hello fireball).

Sakura had caught him. Again. 

“Oof!” Sasuke felt the breath leave his body before he could reply.

 Sakura had charged into him. 

“You smell great. New cologne?” Sakura murmured while she snuggled into his chest with her arms laced around his back. She did that a lot when they met up, as if seeing him makes her day and Sasuke had no problems with that.

The last thing Sasuke Uchiha needed as the city’s number one hero and a billionaire C.E.O. with movie star good looks was an ego boost but this certainly was not his fault now was it? 

“Ah. Sakura. Yeah. Aramis.” Sasuke let out closing his arms around Sakura, who stood still snuggled into his chest. She was warm as usual and her hair, God her hair smelt amazing. Still damp from her shower, the sweet scent that lifted itself to him was that of rich vanilla. Sakura was apparently trying out a new shampoo again and Sasuke approved. 

Standing there holding on to her one thought kept ringing and ringing in his head. 

How could he ever leave her? 

Sasuke couldn’t help but close his eyes and savor this embrace. Sakura fit perfectly in his arms and even after all these months, he loved meeting her, holding her, touching her.

“Sasuke, what weeere you doing?” Sakura drawled as she looked up from his chest, her body still pressed into his own. 

She knew already but she loved drawing it out of him and when she did it with a smirk like she was doing now Sasuke had to fight off the urge to kiss her hard. 

With tongue. 

“ I was surveying the surroundings,”  Sasuke stated nonchalantly. “You never know where the enemy lurks and when, Sakura.”

Sakura’s apple-green eyes still stared deeply into his own of obsidian as he spoke. He could feel every breath she took as she listened and looked up at him.  When they connected like this Sasuke felt like he could just stay in this state of bliss forever.

“Ah. I see.” 

“Look. I trust you to take care of yourself, Sakura...”

“Relax Sasuke. I get it.” Sakura laughed. 

“So you came down and saw me again I presume?”

Sasuke had to admit he liked getting caught by Sakura. By now it was tradition. 

“Nope. Actually strangely enough, I heard some leaves and then when I checked I didn’t see you at the door so I looked around. To be honest I am surprised you made that much noise.” 

Sasuke moved as he usually moved on missions, in complete stealth so Sakura saying that she heard him came as a complete shock. Was he really that noisy? Distracted? Sloppy? 

What was wrong with him today? 

Whatever, it was he had more important duties tonight than his own inner turmoil and so he decided to brush it off. 

“Hn. It was just an extra patrol.”

“Hn.” Sakura repeated. She was teasing him now and he knew she loved how red he got when she did it. But before Sasuke could interrupt she went on. 

“Thank you for looking out for me, for us.”

As the words left her mouth she grabbed Sasuke’s face and brought him down for a full on kiss. When her lips brushed against his and her tongue entered his mouth, Sasuke gasped into her and let out a guttural moan that only nudged Sakura to press closer into him. 

The warmth, moisture and softness of Sakura’s kiss while her body rubbed against him was more than enough to make him hard as stone. He wanted her. God how he wanted her. 

Sasuke had to ration all of his strength to snap back into his senses to twist and hide his massive erection from pressing into Sakura. They hadn’t had sex yet and he didn’t want to ruin the moment with his hard on. He didn’t think that she was ready for it and he most certainly was not regardless of what his ‘little Sasuke’ was aching for down there. 

Following a few seconds of Sakura hungrily kissing him like she’d never see him again, she finally let up and they broke apart. They were both left gasping and breathing heavily as they tried to cool off from the intensity of the kiss.

It was only then that Sasuke managed to truly take in the sight of her. Dressed in a tight white t-shirt and shorts that were extremely short and tight, not that Sasuke was complaining, she was radiant. With no makeup, only her bindi-mark upon her face and her rose -coloured hair messily cascading around her shoulders, Sakura was the most sublime creature on the planet to Sasuke in that moment.

And she was all his. 

It was precisely because she was in her most comfortable and simple state, that Sasuke couldn’t look away.  

“Let’s go inside. I gathered some more data and I have something for you, Sakura.”  Sasuke instructed in his typical, stoic manner. He couldn’t very well keep staring at her like some kind of freak now could he? And they did have work to do. They were heroes first and everything else afterwards. 

Or so he told himself. 

“You have something for me?” Sakura squeaked as she gently brushed his lips with her own once more, this time in a sweet and brief kiss before grabbing his hand and leading him inside. 

“Hn.” 

Sasuke let her lead him and smiled with lidded eyes and he looked at the superhuman beauty in front of him. Sakura was just so bubbly, so affective... so cute. 

Sasuke found himself constantly relishing and living in these moments these days. Maybe, he thought, just maybe he really could carve out a space in his life for romance with her even with his company and crime fighting. 

Yeah, she was worth it. They were worth it. Weren’t they?

When Sakura heard the crackling of leaves from her bedroom and didn’t see Sasuke on the porch when she raced downstairs, she knew exactly what was up. ‘Sasuke recon’ which is what was to be expected when your boyfriend was the greatest hero in the city and a genius. 

This was fifth time she caught him in something like this, yeah she was keeping count, and though she didn’t like someone constantly protecting her since she wasn’t too shabby a hero herself, she had to admit it felt wonderful to have her boyfriend look out for her. She does the same for him and having a boyfriend who is so protective is a plus in her book so it was all good. 

Also, Sakura thought it was cute to catch him sneaking around with that stone like expression on his face and his furrowed brows tightening as he moved about. With his chiseled jaw clenched in focus, his spiky hair that seemed to be woven from the night sky itself and his jet black eyes darting around, Sakura thought Sasuke looked incredibly sexy. Apparently her boyfriend being a bad ass hero with ninja-like reflexes and a hot bod just made her want him more. 

Who would have thought?

Honestly, Sasuke Uchiha was hot as hell and moved like a jungle cat in the night. What girl wouldn’t marvel at something like that? And it’s not like he was serious. After all he was noisy enough for her to hear him stomping about all the way from bedroom upstairs this annoyingly large mansion.

 So Sasuke clearly liked the game and Sakura was all to happy to play. 

Five months ago they met by chance when Sakura was investigating a kidnapping operation at Katsuyu Gardens. Kabuto, the man who killed Sasuke’s brother just so happen to be the mastermind behind the operation and by drugging dissatisfied rich kids who turned to him for purpose and drugs, he was well equipped for sustaining his mutant brother’s life. 

What other plans he could have had involving all those kids’ blood, well Sakura was glad that he was stopped before she could have found out. Thank God they beat him before he could have gone off on some other kick. 

Sakura and Sasuke took him down together and partnered up after that night. They both worried that he’d sell out Sasuke’s identity as Kagatsuchi. However, according to the police he kept laughing about Kagutsuchi’s secret being safe with him while in custody and not wanting to spoil the fun.

 After a few weeks of him not saying anything to the authorities, the duo realised he was probably keeping his promise for his own sick amusement. Sakura thought he wanted to keep them guessing and worrying about it, driving them mad. Though in the grand scheme of things it didn’t matter. 

He was dead. 

Kabuto had died in jail a few months back. Apparent suicide. 

Despite it all, even after all he did, Sakura still found herself pitying him. She however, comforted herself in knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone anymore and such an evil soul was put to rest. And from his defeat their story began.

The attraction between Sasuke and Sakura was there from the start. From that battle a bond was formed. The attraction was plain to see but when Sakura confessed weeks later Sasuke, much to her bewilderment, poked her forehead, smiled and said he’d give her an answer later. At first she thought he was overwhelmed or didn’t feel the same but within minutes, while she sulked, Sasuke grabbed her and kissed her, making her see stars. 

“I feel the same...” 

She had a feeling that Sasuke liked her but she didn’t think that he’d ever make a move. At times like this she really appreciated not being one hundred percent right about everything all the time. There were some things her book smarts couldn’t predict. Thank God for that. It made life much more enjoyable.

Reminiscing over that moment, the moment they finally became a couple, still warmed Sakura’s heart. The giddiness she still felt whenever she thought of him, of them; the lovely sting of young love, it was exactly what she always dreamed of when she thought about falling in love. It was delightfully sweet.

 Despite her doubts.

Yeah she had doubts. So far their relationship was fine. They weren’t perfect by any means but Sakura loved him and whatever flaws Sasuke possessed, she was okay with it. She would handle it. And what flaws did he have really? Sakura couldn’t really list anything. 

They never argued. Yeah, he was extremely protective but so what? That just shows he cares and nothing was wrong with Sasuke being protective. 

What could possibly be wrong with that? Sakura hated to be split about it but after repeating these musings to herself like prayer every night she couldn’t ignore the unease that chilled her, especially in her moments of solitude. It wasn’t just Sasuke being protective of her all the time and she meant all the time.

On missions, as opposed to their battle against Kabuto and their early missions as a duo, and later a trio with Naruto A.K.A. Kurama, Sasuke in recent times seemed to push himself harder for them, Sakura specifically. He didn’t think she noticed but she did. Pushing himself in front of her, suggesting she take easier tasks, secretly watching her even while fighting enemies, Sasuke seemed perturbed. 

Sakura loved feeling loved and protected by her boyfriend and would have appreciated these gestures as secretive as they were but she knew better. She could read him in a way no one else could and she could safely say the same when it came to Sasuke understanding her. These actions were not spurred from love but from fear and if this continued someone was going to pay the ultimate price mid battle. 

 As much as Sakura loved him and she knew without a doubt that he loved her back, something was missing. And slowly but certainly a void was forming within her, within them both. 

She knew it. This wasn’t enough for a relationship to prosper. Sasuke was holding himself back around her while burdening himself with her safety. He kept a secret and it was one she intended to unearth even if it meant the end of them as partners and lovers. 

“Uh...”

“Oh Sasuke! Oh sorry for the mess!” Sakura exclaimed as she witnessed Sasuke’s apparent shock at her stacks of files, loose papers and photos. Upon entering, Sasuke stood motionless in the center of her living room and this sharply jolted Sakura back from her musings.

Her tidy and organized living room was now overrun, only the roaring fire of her fireplace free of debris. Even her newly varnished, antique rocker was unusable  due to the weight of her mountains of paper work forced onto it.

“Sakura...”

“No. Just give me some time. I’ll fix it,” Sakura apologised as she hustled about clearing a seat for her guest. Flustered and mildly embarrassed, she was in her own world trying to tidy up.

“I only came home from work half and hour ago so I didn’t tidy and I had to shower before...”

“Sakura it’s fine,” Sasuke sighed with his eyes closed and a faint smile decorating his face.

“This is work. I’m glad it’s all out. I was hoping we worked through the night.”

“Oh thank God.” Sakura was chuckling nervously with her left hand rubbing the back of her head. “Cause I was going to ask you if just dinner during our break would be okay, though I know you’re more dedicated to work than I am so it was a given.”

“I wouldn’t say more dedicated.” Sasuke moved closer to Sakura as he spoke.

“You’re busy with your internship at Konoha General but I can arrange my meetings to suit so... Sakura the fact that you are a doctor and still manage to patrol and research in your spare time it’s remarkable.”

“I don’t feel ‘remarkable’....”

Sakura knew that she was dampening the mood with her negativity but she couldn’t hold back. The pressure of her life as a doctor/super hero was getting to her and she was never one to hold back how she felt. This was especially true when in the presence of Sasuke. Not that she could really hide anything from him anyway. 

He just always knew.

“Sakura...”

Sasuke’s voice was still as the moonlight that shone tonight and Sakura knew he was waiting, analyzing and planning through those slightly worried eyes of his. Those commanding eyes, blackened like a starless night. He knew what was wrong but he dared not jump ahead of her. That was his way. He let her express herself before he involved himself.

“More overdoses.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. That’s why I’m so adamant on this...” Sakura gestured with her arms to the mess around her. as she spoke.

“Sasuke, I feel like we’re not doing enough. The drug epidemic these guys are fueling.... Sasuke I can’t look at another user suffer. I can’t see another one die. We have to get them.”

“Hn. We will.”

When Sasuke held her face in his palm and stared deeply into her eyes, Sakura felt like some of her stress and worry melt away and for that she was terribly grateful.

“I mean it Sakura. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah...”

Just as briskly as he held her, he let go to Sakura’s mild disappointment.

“That idiot Naruto went out on a patrol tonight.” Sasuke continued. It was obvious that he was trying to assure, not only Sakura but himself, and work up a distraction.

What is your secret, Sasuke Uchiha?

“ He said he wanted to patrol after his youth programme and he’d meet us here afterwards.”

Sakura’s dilemma evaporated from her mind when Sasuke spoke. Naruto out alone? Sure, they were each independent heroes before teaming up in these recent months but the fact that they were a team meant that none of them pulled shit like this. Especially without properly informing the rest. Sakura would pummel that idiot when she got her hands on him.

Alone Naruto usually patrols his neighbourhood but with the recent spike in crime: gun violence and drug dealing, Sakura didn’t want to take that chance. He should still have taken at least one of them with him. Leaf City was devolving and they needed to work as a team to save it. That was for sure. 

Honestly, as much as she loved him, Naruto could really make her worry. He was like a brother to her and even though she knew he had feelings for her, Sakura loved the bond they actually shared. He never forced anything and accepted that her and Sasuke were together.

He was her close friend and, more importantly, right now he was a powerful super hero and a legend in the city every bit as illustrious and adept as Sasuke was. Before teaming up he was her idol as a rookie heroine, just as Sasuke was so in times like these she had to believe that this was enough, that those boys’ greatness was enough.

Although admittedly, in the back of her mind, Sakura sometimes wondered if they were too great even for her.  

“Sasuke, isn’t that dangerous? You shouldn’t have let him go alone. It’s not the same as it was months ago. What if...” 

Before she could finish, Sasuke interrupted her.

“Relax. He just texted me in the car saying everything was normal so he’s fine... and if there’s one thing I know about that idiot is that he’s as durable and annoying as a roach. Nothing can kill him and he’s the most reliable man I know. He’ll be fine.”

Say what you will about Sasuke and Naruto but as much as they fought, they loved ten times more. Of course Sakura would never point it out to either one of them. Seeing Sasuke express his confidence in Naruto cheered her up. 

Not surprisingly, both of them were hesitant to team up, apparently they didn’t get along the few times they managed to cross paths. Although, when the three of them met up and a bank robbery interrupted the boys’ blathering, history was made and it was all set in motion.

Despite all of their grand standing, Kurama and Kagutsuchi worked together amazingly and were extremely powerful, especially as a team. With their success, the reticence when it came to their partnering up with one another and Haruno, melted away and with that their three man cell was born.

They still bicker like crazy but those boys, her boys, were brothers and Sakura was grateful for having them both in her life. She also knew they felt the same way.

She still wondered, however, why Naruto didn’t think it right to text her. 

“So you said you had some more info, Sasuke?” Sakura asked. 

No time to dwell.

 They were both seated on her now cleared, dixie sofa, with her sterling silver, glass paneled coffee table before them. Moving some of her files to the side, Sakura beckoned Sasuke to add what he had.

“Ah. I managed to hack into the police database...”

“Sasuke oh my God!” Sakura giggled.

“It had to be done. Anyway I got these.” He laid out a stack of manila files onto the table and as Sakura read through the first he continued.

“As you can see, officers have been killed in the line of duty in five major areas around Leaf City at an alarming rate.”

“What the hell? Twenty-one officers in three weeks?!” Sakura was almost shouting now. “I thought it was nine dead?! Why don’t we know anything?!”

“Inspector Hatake is in Sand City. Death in his family. And without him, my links are all but non existent.... and even then I don’t know if he can divulge anything to me.”

“Wow is it really that confidential? Is that why this wasn’t reported?”

“They were Anbu.” Sasuke’s tone was as as controlled as ever as he spoke.

“Anbu?” Sakura inquired never taking her eyes off of Sasuke. His tone and the way his eyes dropped slightly both told her that this was a secret. 

One apparently he knew while she didn’t.

“Elite secret soldiers under the Leaf Council themselves.” Sasuke finally blurted out. He now met Sakura straight in her eyes.

“ No one is supposed to know about them...” he paused and Sakura knew he was absorbing the shock and awe that now stamped her features. There was still so much she didn’t know as a rookie and instead of advancing as part of this team she felt like it just made things worse.

As if sensing her unease Sasuke carried on.

“My family....The Uchiha have been around for centuries. That’s how I know about them.”

“You never told me.” Her tone was even yet lit with disappointment and her eyes descended to her lush, cream carpet while she spoke. 

Sakura didn’t intend to sound offended and whiny, and she could of sworn she didn’t, however the look Sasuke gave her said otherwise. Really, she’d be lying if she said that this didn’t irk her, if at least slightly.

“Does Naruto know?” Scratch the ‘slightly’. Really, who cares if she was sounding petty? She needed to know if she was at a disadvantage on this team.

“He’s the mayor’s son so he might.”

“Great.” Sakura’s sigh was pronounced as she spoke and she knew Sasuke probably picked up on it. Really, she wasn’t mad at him or even disappointed in him. It had nothing to do with him and she hoped he knew it.

 This was all about her.

It’s just, she already felt intimidated matching those two in this context: a rookie in a new city and the first hero from her family, so she didn’t need the fact that she was in the dark while Sasuke and Naruto, legendary heroes from wealthy founding families, knew more than she did. She couldn’t control how she felt and at least she acknowledged that she had an insecurity. 

That was a good thing, wasn’t it? First step to recovery and all that?

“... It’s a secret and they don’t meddle with anything concerning us. I don’t even know anything about them apart from the fact that they exist. The Uchiha were not part of the council for decades and if it weren’t for Itachi’s surveillance...”

Sasuke’s voice trailed off and for just a split second Sakura caught the splinter of pain that cut across his face, before he sealed it back under his signature, stoic expression.

Itachi’s death still haunted him. This was obvious and despite him saying he was alright and his improvement from when they first met, Sakura knew it was still weighing on him. You never get over the death of a loved one, especially a death of such a tragic nature.

“Sasuke, it’s okay.” Sakura moved in close and placed her palm over his. “I’m okay and I’m here if you want to...”

“They, the Anbu can pass as regular police, but they aren’t part of the official force. Sometimes they plant themselves into police stations and work.”

Yeah Sasuke definitely wasn’t going to talk about Itachi more than he needed to, Sakura realized. His slight grimace and downward stare while he interrupted her and changed the topic, they weren’t exactly vague indicators of where he was at.

With a sigh she let it go. What else could she do? And this case was more important, at least in this moment.

Focusing on the issue at hand, she continued.

“Isn’t that wrong? To have a secret army?”

Sakura knew she probably came across as naive but she didn’t care. She was a hero from a civilian family in another city. Clearly, Leaf City wasn’t a run of the mill Western metropolis as it appeared.

 Certain traditions from the city’s founding by the Senju of the East were apparently still rooted in the city’s culture and operating behind the scenes. Sakura wondered what other secrets lay underneath the underneath of Leaf City. What else didn’t she know?

This night really wasn’t what she expected it to be.

“No. At least legally it’s not. The Anbu existed from the time of the city’s founding, when the Senju started their settlement.”

Sasuke was responding to her and at the sound of his voice, once more, she tried to focus on the issue at hand and stifle her internal whining.

“I see. Well it is an ingenious way to secure power. A secret army controlling law enforcement... so Anbu huh?” 

 Sakura knew she was barely fooling Sasuke with her sudden interest in the council’s strategy. She was a nerd but she was an emotional nerd and her weakness is and always was her ability to feel. 

It was her strength too. At least she once believed it was. 

“Killing Anbu isn’t easy, Sakura. They are supposed to be highly trained assassins and guardians and even though blessings are rare in Leaf City there are supposedly a few blessed ones in their ranks.”

“So who could take them down?” Sakura’s index finger was bent at her chin now, that large brain of hers storming through possibilities. “That would be easy especially with suitable weaponry I suppose or...”

She paused. 

The idea that more blessed ones like Kabuto were running wild through the streets made her stomach turn. Blessed ones were so rare after all with most of them being heroes or laying low.

 Please not that. 

Was Sasuke wondering about the threat of more blessed ones too? Sakura couldn’t tell. Concrete proof was needed of course. Though, following Kabuto killing Itachi and then him facing off against them, Sakura knew that they should take no chances. They had to expect the worst. 

“Or blessed ones.”

“Or blessed ones.”

They said it simultaneously and hearing this from Sasuke, aloud and knowing that he thought the same made it real to Sakura. Hearing someone else confirm her fears: super villains. Again. 

“God it’s just so much! These overdoses and now this? Sasuke, this isn’t right. As if I wasn’t feeling like crap before.”

“Sakura, we’ll get them. Blessing or no blessing. We’ll find them and defeat them. I swear on the Uchiha.” Sasuke’s eyes were locked on hers as he spoke to Sakura. 

“Hm. Yeah.” Sakura just had to agree. He made it so easy to believe, to hope.

Sakura smiled as she stared back at those commanding black eyes aimed at her. That fire in Sasuke’s eyes...He was proud and resolute and in that moment Sakura found herself supported by Sasuke, by his strength. They were going to crack this case and take out whoever it was. That was certain and given how stubborn the three of them were, Sakura thought their chances were looking good. 

Steeling herself, Sakura continued. 

“We need to find out where these dealers are and we need to find the blessed one helping them, assuming there is a blessed one at all.” 

“The answer must be in the murders.” Sasuke suggested, his brow furrowed in deep concentration. This was his element. Sakura knew it by now. This was where he truly shone, as a hero and a detective.

“Sasuke you don’t think?...”

“Hn. The files. Cause of death. No blessing was mentioned but if we can analyse the data.”

“Shannaro! I’m on it. It shouldn’t be hard to tell who was killed by a blessing, no matter how odd it is.”

“Here’s half. Anything odd we pull out that case.”

“Yeah!”

There it was. Sakura’s determination. In the twenty minutes or so that followed Sasuke caught himself sneaking glances at Sakura as she worked. He saw her doing the same from time to time but didn’t let her know. 

This easiness, this comfort when he worked with Sakura, who was just a dependable as he was, was a sensation he didn’t think he’d ever get accustomed to. Sure he worked with Itachi but Itachi was the leader. Here with Sakura and Naruto, Sasuke truly felt that he was dependable and could depend on his comrades as well. 

He was an equal. 

He was part of a team.

So far most of the deaths he’d been reading through haven’t struck him as odd. Fatal gunshot wounds, stab wounds, strangulation, the usual. The oddest of his set were a couple of apparent poisonings so he put those aside. 

Sakura had a few separated as well and from the way she pursed her lips and wriggled her nose Sasuke knew she was examining every single detail, every word,as she read. Her analytical ability was the best on their team and that intelligence and resolve were what he loved about her. 

As he finished his last file and set aside his, now five, poisoned cases he was alerted to the sound of Sakura closing her files as well. 

“Done. I got seven strange deaths over here. Coroner ruled it as a poisoning.” Sakura informed as she held her folders in her hands. They flapped wildly as she gestured. “What did you find, Sasuke?”

“Shit. Five poisonings over here too. The rest were stabbings and shootings.” They were on the cusp of something. Sasuke could sense it. “Could be a poison weapon though. Bombs...”

“Not so sure. Can I see your files, Sasuke?”

“Uh. Hn.” 

“Just as I thought.” 

“What did you find, Sakura?”

“There are no needle marks, no traces of anything in their lungs, nasal passages or mouths. Blood work came back negative as well. The only indication that there was some sort of poison isn’t even really an indication at all. See?”

Sakura moved in closer and showed Sasuke the sections she apparently highlighted as she read. 

“There is no trace of any known poison in these bodies. Poisons such as bufalin, oleandrin, digoxin, ouabain.... They act on the contractile force of the cardiac muscle, effectively disrupting the pumping action of the heart. Myocardial contractility, the heart’s contraction, was forced to a halt the same way for sure but it’s impossible that there was poison used here.”

“So you’re telling me that someone simply stopped their hearts?”

“No poisons and no wounds like the other murders so yeah, whoever got these guys had to have been using some sort of blessing that mimics poisoning or affects muscles in some way.”

“Hn.” Sasuke smirked. Partly because he was glad that they finally made a headway in this case and partly because he couldn’t figure it out while Dr. Sakura Nakamura just did. “Now we just have to find the user.”

“But before that, the analysis of the drug sample you gave me came back”

“And?”

“Not good. These drugs are not typical, especially for Leaf City... This type of coke is on a whole different level. We can’t peg some of the chemicals and it seems to be more potent than the usual.”

“ These aren’t typical drug dealers. Some big shot kingpin... if it were just random punks distributing we’d have caught a few.”

“You’re right and here’s the thing... Concocting this requires extensive pharmaceutical capabilities and capital, Sasuke. I don’t know the process involved and based on the Anbu murders and the blessed one I’d say that these dealers are this person’s army.”

“Highly trained, highly staffed and a blessed one backing them. Shit. We need to find them. Finding that blessed one should do it.... Wait is that a map you have out?”

“Oh yeah. Hold on I have it on my laptop. Here.” As Sakura spoke she grabbed her laptop and pulled up a map of Leaf City with points circled. 

“These are all the areas where the addicts who overdosed were picked up. They’re all over. I thought we could have gotten something if I plotted the points but...”

“Hn. I think I know how we find this blessed one.” 

Sasuke was so close, he knew it. Why didn’t he think of this before? 

“Shannaro! Sasuke you’re a genius!” 

At her exclamation Sakura’s grip on Sasuke’s hand tightened and sent an intoxicating, heady spark racing through his body. At Sakura’s touch, Sasuke felt a fire roar within him. Her hands were silken, her touch soothing and her grip firm and tethering. Sasuke felt the exhilaration of her touch winding its way through him and for a few seconds, his mind vacated his conversation and was thrust into fantasy. 

Sasuke could imagine those creamy, tender hands of Sakura’s touching him, playing with his hard length as she teased; smoothing over his bare back as he rode her and pumped into her; gripping and grabbing his ass as they both climaxed together in a throe of passion and lust.   

In their months of dating they hadn’t had sex but Sasuke could feel his body losing itself more frequently as time went by. Sakura carved herself a place within his heart and now his body itself acted on its own around her. The yearning to have her under him and over him, touching him and being touched by him; kissing him and having him drink from her was all consuming and Sasuke knew he would have her anyway she let him. 

“... so basically we compare the OD’d scenes with the ‘poison deaths’ and we’d find the blessed one’s territory, right Sasuke? Sasuke?”

“Ah.” 

Luckily for Sasuke, Sakura caught on to his plan so he didn’t have to listen to what she said to correct her. Him zoning out for a few seconds was embarrassing and so unlike himself and judging from her expression, he was out for more than a few seconds. 

“We should pin point the general area where this guys moves about. Assuming he isn’t all over the place, we should isolate his location.”

Minutes later, Sasuke finished entering the locations of the strange murders Sakura called out for him and had his answer. “Here.”

What was presented before them, in a cluster of red and blue circles (indicating the overdoses and deaths respectively) shocked Sasuke and he could tell that Sakura felt the same way.

 The assailant indeed had been operating in one area where all twelve of the Anbu murders took place.  

“He’s there. Sasuke that’s where that blessed one is. East Jonin District.”

“Yeah. The blessed one. He has to be crucial enough to lead us to the source. Sakura I think we should get Naruto over here A.S.A.P.”

“Hm. I already texted him.” 

“Now we wait.”

When Sakura got her hands on Naruto she was going to pummel him into a coma for sure. When she texted, he immediately replied that he’d be there as soon as possible so she didn’t need to call. 

The problem? 

That was half an hour ago. If not for his last quick text to Sasuke ten minutes ago, saying he was on his way, she would have thought that something happened to him.

Trust them and stop worrying like a rookie Sakura! They know better than you.

God she was a mess.

On the bright side, Sasuke and her had taken a leap ahead when it came to this drug syndicate tonight and had time for dinner while they waited for their teammate, so it wasn’t a total loss. She always enjoyed spending time with Sasuke alone anyway so maybe this was a blessing in disguise.

Dinner was great...well as great as ordering pizza could be. In her defense, Sakura was a working woman and super heroine with a tight schedule. Part of her regretted not being able to provide a home cooked meal for her boyfriend but the other part of her knew that Sasuke didn’t care. Despite all his wealth, Sasuke was a simple man and found beauty in simplicity, just like Sakura did. 

In that sense, they were a perfect match.

The couple took their time eating while they waited for Naruto. Sasuke especially, Sakura noted. In all these months of dining with Sasuke, Sakura still found herself marveling at his table manners. Unlike her, Sasuke didn’t take his slices and shovel them into his mouth. Nope not Sasuke Uchiha.

At dinner Sasuke was a model gentleman with exemplary table manners. Even with pizza Sasuke carefully wielded his knife and fork, as adeptly as he did his katana, making precise cuts in his slices before daintily lifting them with his fork. After every bite he subtly dabbed his mouth with his napkin before resuming. As always, he exuded an air of sophistication and class.

Sakura’s mind wandered once again and now mischievous thoughts penetrated her mind. She was curious about what else Sasuke could do so carefully, skillfully and efficiently with those hands of his. 

As if him being a modern day Adonis wasn’t enough to get her going.

“Is something wrong, Sakura?” Sasuke stopped and abruptly asked Sakura, his eyes focused on her now. “Sakura?”

“Nope nothing. I...” Sakura squeaked as she waved her hands dismissively. She was such a dork.

  Sakura you idiot.

“You’re looking at me, is something wrong?”

“Sorry it’s just... I’ve never seen anyone eat pizza with a knife and fork before. Ah...You’re table manners are remarkable.” 

God she felt like such a weirdo. That’s it. Sakura was a stalker. A stalker, fangirl, who couldn’t stop staring at her boyfriend while he ate. She should be dumped. 

“Hn.” Surprisingly, Sasuke was beaming, that characteristic Uchiha sideways smirk now adorning his perfectly chiseled face. “No need to apologize. I’m glad you think so highly of me... and that your eyes are on me.” 

With that he winked at her and Sakura almost fell off her chair on the high that gave her. A blush of deep pink bloomed across her features and Sakura never resembled her namesake to such an extent before. 

Without warning Sakura found herself bursting out into a fit of giggles. “Oh Sasuke you never fail to surprise me.” 

She needed this, needed him. Her internship was hell so far and this crime wave was really eating away at her resolve and confidence. Recently, spending time with Sasuke seemed to be the only good thing in her life and the closer they became, the greater her yearning to make this last. 

“Hn.” Sasuke smiled as he cleared finished his meal and carried both his and Sakura’s wares to the sink. 

“You don’t have to...”

“Sakura. Yes I do. Thank you for the meal.”

“But I didn’t cook anything...”

“And?”

When Sakura just fell silent, without being asked he turned around and did the dishes. He really was a catch, Sakura thought. She was hopelessly in love with the perfect man. God and it was heaven.

“I got us dessert.” Sasuke said as he rinsed the last plate and toweled it off. “I put in in the fridge.”

“Oh Sasuke you didn’t have to.... Wow! Anmitsu!  You got anmitsu!” 

“I ah... I remembered you liked it and...” 

Before Sasuke could get his sentence out Sakura grabbed his arm and led him to her couch.  In her other hand she already had their two spoons, ready for dessert. 

Now Sasuke was the one blushing and Sakura loved that she was the one who caused it.

“Put the dishrag down and let’s have this in the living room.”

“So where did you get it?” Sakura asked, minues later, as she took her first spoonful of syrupy, candied goodness. Huddling close together, they were both seated on the couch and Sakura was on top of the world. Sasuke was next to her, sharing her favorite dessert 

She missed having anmitsu and eating this now made her think of her mother. Sasuke actually remembered that this was her favourite dessert. She didn’t think that he would, after all she just mentioned it casually months before.

 “I’ve been looking for a good Eastern dessert place forever.” 

“Yeah. Jugo found out about this place in the Southern district so I thought I’d get it for tonight.” 

Putting her spoon down, Sakura leaned in and softly kissed Sasuke on his cheek. “Well. Thank you. You’re really sweet for doing this... Pun intended.”

“Ah yeah... Sakura...you’re welcome.” With half lidded eyes Sasuke dreamily looked at her as he responded. 

Sakura could feel his adoration as he looked at her. He loved her and it showed and even though he never stated it, she knew it to be absolutely true. In this moment they were happy despite whatever hang ups they had as individuals and as a couple.

Minutes flew by and even though Sakura enjoyed snuggling against Sasuke, she was getting impatient and so too was Sasuke.

“Where the hell is that idiot?!” Sasuke barked as he put aside his bowl. 

Sakura had already vacuumed up hers, naturally, and was enjoying leaning on him. 

“I’ll call him. He’s really worrying me. He texted twenty minutes ago saying he would be here soon right?” Sakura sighed with her phone already in her hand.

 “I hope he’s okay.”

“Tch. Knowing that baka, he probably got lost.” 

“Sasuke you...” Before she could finish, her phone connected. “Oh Naruto hi. Where are you? You’re on speaker by the way.”

 “Hi Sakura! I know I am running late. Some assholes were trying to rob a jewelry store earlier so I got held back. I am almost done with my patrol. Just a little longer.”

“Hn. Robbers took too much out of you, Naruto?”  Sasuke was smirking as he jabbed Naruto which was the norm between them. 

“Sasuke you!” And as usual Sasuke hit a nerve. 

Sakura sighed. She wasn’t sure if she should laugh or be mad at this point. She was sure though that they needed to get back on track.

“Guys! Naruto, Sasuke and I found out that there’s a blessed one among them and he seems to be in the East Jonin District so we need a plan. Even though you’re in the West in you still be careful. Don’t rush into any of these dealers especially in crowds. No telling where that blessed one is.”

“Um Sakura?

“Yes?” 

“I am in the East tonight.”

“What? Since when do you go off alone so far on mentor ship night?!” Sakura barked, sounding like the grumpy older sister she sometimes felt like when dealing with him. 

God please.

“Sakura listen...”

“And you just now thought to tell us this, Naruto?” Sasuke cut in. From his tone, Sakura could tell that he was pissed off. Even Sasuke was worried. 

Sakura could tell he was angry and she couldn’t blame him. Screw the hero crap. Super villains were deadly and if anything were to happen...

“Guys. Trust me. I am fine. Sakura I’ll be careful but...wow! These guys.... anyway as I was saying before that duck butt bastard jumped in...so far no sign of anything tonight but I got a lead myself on this drug problem. I’ll update you guys when we meet..”

“Duck butt?! You...”

“Okaybesafewe’rewaitingbye!” 

Sakura interrupted and speedily ended the call before Sasuke could grab the phone. 

“Tch. That idiot...” 

Sasuke was fuming at this point but Sakura couldn’t resist and before she knew it she burst out into a fit of giggles. 

Thank God they’re both fine. 

“Sakura!” Sasuke was glaring at her now. “Are you laughing?!”

“Aha oh sorry Sasuke...it’s just...”

“What?” Sasuke asked, clearly trying to ignore her incessant giggling. 

“It’s just... you two.... and...” 

“I can’t believe you agree and are taking his side!”

“Sasuke, there’s no sides.” Sakura finally calmed down and pulled Sasuke into a hug. “Come here.” 

He was unwilling but relented as she drew him in. He was pouting and Sakura loved it. Sakura sat upright and coaxed him to spread out on the couch, his head resting in her lap. 

Gently, before he could resume his ranting, Sakura did what she knew would get him. What always got to him. 

She ran her fingers through his hair, playing with his strands of jet black hair and massaging his scalp as she did so. 

“I love your hair.” Sakura whispered as she continued combing through Sasuke’s hair softly. “It’s one of my favorite things about you, so spiky and cute.”

“Hn.” Sasuke breathed out. His eyes were closed now as he relaxed in her lap. “Cute?”

“Yes, Sasuke,” Sakura bent down as she spoke. “Cute.” 

Then, she kissed him.

The kiss started off as Sakura gently brushing his lips but when that connection was made, Sakura found herself yearning for more. What started off gently transformed into a wildfire soon she found herself slipping her tongue between his lips. 

Sasuke seemed to feel the same way. He kissed her back just as passionately and powerfully and brought her closer, pressing her lips tighter onto his with his right arm. Having him kiss her like that, with his tongue entering her as he groaned into her, him teasingly biting her lower lip and tongue, set her ablaze.

Suddenly, she found herself wanting more, that warmth in her inner thigh demanding so much more than a kiss. 

Sasuke was the one to break off the kiss. Again Sakura could sense a hesitation reigning him in and stopping him from giving himself to her fully. It wasn’t even about the prospect of sex. Just kissing and hugging seemed to get too much for him at times and for the umpteenth time tonight, she found herself wondering about him and what secrets he was hiding from her. 

He’ll tell you in time, Sakura. Act normal. Don’t force anything. 

The little voice that chimed in her mind was right, Sakura concluded. Sasuke was special and he deserved her complete understanding. As much as she wanted to start this conversation she couldn’t afford to do so now, before Naruto got here and while in the midst of such a crisis. Holding back was logical. It was right as they were, after all heroes. Though part of her knew that this was bullshit. Part of her secretly dreaded finding out. 

“So uh... better, Sasuke?” Sakura put on her brightest smile when she spoke. “Or do you still have doubts.”

“Ah... yeah.” Sasuke blushed, his complexion reddening. As he sat up Sakura saw faint reddening of his lips from all the kissing and nibbling she did and was pretty sure hers matched. 

“Ugh. Rain!” Sakura exclaimed. Now, icy bucketfuls pressed down and began nailing her roof, unleashing a bitter chill on the couple. “Sasuke do you mind, my fire’s almost...”

“Ah.” Before she could finish asking, Sasuke extended his index finger and launched a fireball into her fireplace, reigniting her the fire to ward off the cold.

“Thank you.”  Sakura groaned. She was pulling her wool blanket over them both before snuggling against Sasuke. “Much better.”

Sakura, true to her namesake, despised the cold, luckily though, between Sasuke’s flames and his warm and comforting body, Sakura was warm. As they lay before the fire waiting forever for Naruto, Sakura felt safe.

She felt protected. 

All in all, Sakura was relieved to have something to talk about outside of their cases with Sasuke. While they waited for Naruto, bundled up in Sakura’s living room, Sakura found herself enjoying Sasuke’s company. Real quality time as a couple. 

This is what she craved.

Chatting, Sakura told him about the new surgeon, Dr. Chiyo, giving all of the interns a hard time and laughed when Sasuke asked her if she was reporting her. Sakura didn’t feel it was that serious, the bullying, but thought that Sasuke’s outrage was adorable. What did she ever do to get a boyfriend like him? 

Though, under all of the warmth they shared tonight, Sakura still felt a chill, a strong sense of foreboding. The issue? She didn’t know if this was about their case or their relationship. 

Sasuke talked about his day, new projects he was working on and how his estate was fairing. Sakura recently helped him redecorate and made Jugo switch to her brand of fabric softener, and even though she questioned if she was being too pushy a girlfriend, she took comfort in the happiness plastered on Sasuke’s face every time she butted in.

Loneliness crippled him, this she knew but would never say it aloud to him, so whatever she could do; whenever she could care for him she’d give it her all. After all, this man was hers. He had her heart. 

He seemed okay on the surface but Sakura knew better. He couldn’t hide much from her. Earlier she noticed it as well, when she hugged him and later when she grabbed his hands suddenly. He even broke of their kiss minutes ago and Sakura swore she saw a slash of panic flicker on his face. It’s like he just zoned out. He didn’t seem angry though, just distracted, scared even.  

“There’s also this new company trying to compete with us, grab our tenders for themselves... Sirocco Development. Tch. Well they’re trying to compete with us.” 

Sasuke was smirking as he spoke and a powerful fire seemed to blaze in his eyes. Needless to say, Sakura found it insanely sexy. Sasuke, the cut throat businessman talking about crushing his competition and donning that almost sinister expression on his face... So hot. 

“Wow. Never heard of them but then again, this is all so alien to me,” Sakura remarked still snug against her boyfriend as Sasuke’s roaring, titian, flame flickered in her fireplace.  

“It’s a new company but there seems to be old money in the family.” Sasuke reported, his chin resting on top of Sakura’s head. “Don’t worry though. I am more than well equipped to stave off  Sirocco and their young, hotshot C.E.O.” 

“I know you are,” Sakura offered with her sunny smile now looking up and facing Sasuke. “You’re the best at what you do after all. You’re a blessing to your family, Sasuke.”

“Sakura...” Sasuke whispered looking down at Sakura. Their eyes met and his emotions were clear to Sakura in that moment. 

Sasuke’s pained expression is what did it. Sakura could see how torn he was. It was is if he was holding himself back for some reason. Every time they shared a moment or he himself seemed happy something seemed to freeze him and prod him into being upset and distant again. 

She had no intention of bringing up what she’d noticed but nestled in Sasuke’s arms, feeling his warmth and seeing how desperately he tried to enjoy the moment, it was too much. She had to say something. She had to help him.

“Sasuke, I know something is bothering you...”

At this Sasuke shot to attention with a brief expression of surprise flashing across his face before he composed himself in true Sasuke fashion. Now staring into Sakura’s eyes with furrowed brows and slightly parted lips, the young Uchiha seemed at a loss for words while he focused only on Sakura.

“Sakura I...”

 “I’m not forcing you to open up to me but I can see that you’re upset. Just know that I am here and can help.  Whatever you need I’m right here, okay?” 

Sure she couldn’t force it out of him but Sakura hoped that at least letting him know that she knew he was upset and was ready to lend an ear to listen and help him would ease him into revealing his secret. It’s the best she could do at the moment. She just hoped that it was enough. 

Sasuke simply gazed at her with an expression of bewilderment and awe painted across his perfect features. This proceeded for a few seconds and finally, when silence was beginning to seem unbearable, Sakura decided to speak again.

“I...” 

And that was when he kissed her. 

Sasuke’s kiss was urgent and Sakura melted in his arms at the feel of his soft lips meeting hers. He kissed her hungrily and instantly, a dizzying lightness washed over her. Sakura could feel the softness and warmth of Sasuke’s mouth as he took control and slipped his tongue in. He was hungry for her and she felt it. 

Indeed, she felt it in so many ways. 

As he flipped her over on the couch and rested on top of her, never breaking their kiss, Sakura felt his rock hard erection brush against her stomach. He was aroused and now so was she as a warmth pooled in her inner thigh in eager anticipation of what was to come. 

In the sweetness and passion of the moment Sakura disregarded their conversation and gave into to her lust and desire. It was wrong and she knew it but God, she couldn’t stop. 

She didn’t want to stop. 

Sasuke wasn’t thinking. It was as if his body moved on its own. All night he’d been fighting his urges, his desires when it came to Sakura. If he was being honest with himself he really was fighting this way before tonight. Even he couldn’t stay strong any longer. 

Despite him pulling away, shifting away and trying and failing to separate himself from her, as he didn’t outright leave her presence, he was still weak. So fucking weak.

 That’s why when she called him out on his distance, his zoning out and offered her support in such a caring and selfless manner, Sasuke caved. She was too damned loving and Sasuke just had to have her. 

 When he moved in and kissed Sakura, all he could feel was utter adoration, reverence and lust. God he wanted her so bad. He needed her: her warmth, her love, everything. Sasuke wanted her heated, sweaty and gasping under him while they made love. 

He yearned to finally consummate this love and shower her with all the worship and pleasure she more than deserved. He wanted her wet, liquid and he’d give anything to taste her, her honey- like sweetness upon his desperate lips. All he could think about was making love to her tonight, to finally be inside her while he pumped into her until they both came and marked each other was their own. 

Sakura was in love with him. This is what she wanted and damn it this is what he wanted too. Living in the now. This is what he decided earlier. 

After all, his ‘curse’ or whatever the hell it was wasn’t a surety was it? He’d already lost Itachi and his parents yeah but that wouldn’t happen to Sakura or Naruto would it? Regardless, in this moment and in this place none of that registered for long. Only him and Sakura were present and was she ever present right now. 

Who the hell cared about his hang ups? He promised himself and Itachi that he’d enjoy life and that what he was going to do now. Fuck whatever curse or paranoia that was holding him back.

It was all in his head anyway wasn’t it?

Sakura kissed him as ravenously and desperately as he had kissed her, slipping her tongue between his lips and exploring him herself. In a flash Sasuke felt his shirt rip open as he himself pulled off her shorts and tossed them. Her t shirt was soon to follow and when he saw her in her white lace he almost came right there.

Moving downward his tongue kissed and sucked at her neck, her collarbone and then her shoulders while she grabbed onto his hair. 

He then freed her breasts. 

“Fuck... Sakura... Let me....” 

Sakura was divine. Sasuke couldn’t fathom what he was doing, saying. When he saw the creamy swells of her breasts all he could do was rip off her bra to reveal her tight, pink nipples. He had to touch them, taste them. 

And so he did.

“Sasuke!”

In an instant Sasuke took them into his mouth and suckled, one by one, making sure to work the other with his fingers as he lapped at her breasts. He flicked his tongue playfully over her nipples as she moaned, shuddered and gripped his shoulders forcefully.

 He loved it.

Still tasting her breast, his fingers soon took a different route. Downwards. Rubbing against the delicate lace of her panties Sasuke felt her heat and moisture soaking through. She was drenched. He had to taste her.

“Sasukeeeh... please... touch me...” Sakura, as if reading his mind, moaned as she threw her head back over the sofa’s arm in her drunken pleasure. 

At this Sasuke felt his erection double in size threatening to burst out of his pants. He had to hurry before he came too early. Sakura could do that to him, he was sure. She was driving him mad.

“You’re so fucking beautiful...” He whispered then slid one, finger beneath her panties, probing her most sensitive area. 

“Open your legs more... yeah...”

“Aaaah...”

 “Sakura you’re so warm....”

“Sasukeeeh...” She whispered and gasped while Sasuke touched her, her nails digging into his shoulders. He was near the edge of orgasm himself. Before long her orgasm kicked and Sasuke basked in her beauty. 

“Ah!”

“Fuck Sakura...”

Abruptly he stopped and gazed into her eyes. Beads of sweat stippled her flushed complexion and as she dreamily stared back, Sasuke brought his glistening fingers to his mouth sucked her remnants, the ambrosia from his fingers. He sealed his eyes and swallowed as he did so. 

“You taste...amazing.” 

Did she ever. Like honey.

“Sasuke!” Sakura moaned before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Soon after, as they kissed Sasuke felt her gripping his buckle. “I want you inside me.” 

“Sakura...” Sasuke groaned out, now undoing his pants himself as he loomed over her. He was ready. They were going to make love tonight. Finally. 

“Sasuke... I love you.” Sakura was dazed and smiled at him with dreamy eyes as she spoke and fuschia strands spilling over the couch. 

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

“Shit!” In a flash Sasuke, drew back from between her legs and off of the couch. His pants were still on. 

“Sasuke what’s wrong?!” Sakura exclaimed. She was sitting up now looking at Sasuke with worry and fear lighting her eyes. 

Sasuke looked at her and felt a pang of self hatred ring within him. He didn’t mean to take things so far. He didn’t mean to hurt her. 

Fuck.

“I... I can’t do this, Sakura.” His eyes never left hers as he spoke. Sasuke hopped he didn’t break before her gaze. “I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“Sasuke. Please talk to me. What’s the matter? You look terrified.” Sakura’s voice was gentle as always and somehow that just made this whole situation worse. That and the fact that she was coming closer and reaching for him. “Come sit.”

“No!” Sasuke shouted, stepping back and pulling his arm away from her reach. He didn’t mean to raise his voice and he really wasn’t yelling at her. No, he was shouting at himself, at this whole damn situation. 

Sakura jerked back in reaction and he hated himself even more for putting that expression of pain and shock on her face. He upset her. Her was ruining her. Quickly, he moved in closer in an attempt to remedy this. 

“Sakura, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. It’s not you.”

“Hm.” Sakura smiled bitingly as she faced him. Now she was the one moving back. “Sasuke if you don’t want this relations...”

“What?” Sasuke couldn’t believe it. Seeing Sakura smile as she said it froze him in place. What was she getting at? Of course he had feelings for her. Was she doubting him. Had she been doubting them? 

“I’ve known something was off. Sasuke it’s okay. I don’t doubt you have feelings for me. You just can’t give yourself to me fully. You have issues. I get it.” 

She hurriedly started gathering her clothes and re-dressed herself. She tossed Sasuke his shirt as well. 

“Sakura... Don’t...” Sasuke knew he had to do something to at least ease her some way. “Listen. It’s not you...”

“Stop.” Sakura held her palm out at him, halting him in place and shutting him up.

 That was unlike her. 

“Sakura listen to...”

“Oh God. Naruto!” 

This was the most humiliating moment of her life. How could she have been so stupid? 

When Sasuke kissed her, all of her resolve and strength of mind dissipated. His soft lips, his firm yet gentle hold and his good looks messed with her mind. She was in love and from the spark he started tonight, a wildfire erupted. One she did nothing to extinguish. 

Did she really let Sasuke touch her like that? It was magical and sent her into a frenzy, sure. But it should not have happened.

Sakura knew fully well that Sasuke wasn’t ready. Heck she wasn’t even sure if she was ready herself but despite this, she allowed her emotions and lust to run wild. 

Did she love him? Of course she did. Did she want to have sex right now? Yes. As confusing as it was, as unsure as she was, when she really, truly thought about it, losing her virginity now to Sasuke was something she wanted. She would welcome it wholeheartedly. 

The very thought of being able to give herself fully to him, to connect with him on such a level and to reach him in a way no one else could, well, it set her heart a flutter. As cliche and teen-like it sounded, it was the truth. This was Sakura’s truth. 

Her problem? Even if Sasuke did follow through, it would have been wrong. Empty sex. The love between them would mean nothing if Sasuke had even a sliver of doubt swirling around in his mind. And though Sakura wouldn’t consider it her taking advantage of him since he initiated it, she would blame herself for not stopping him and giving in herself. 

Sasuke was not ready and worse yet, this incident just turned on a lamp, so to speak, and confirmed what she feared. This relationship was not stable. It was not complete. And without a foundation nothing can stand. 

Indeed, until Sasuke dealt with his own demons, until he opened up to her and accepted her and his own desires and feelings completely and without diffidence, this relationship was empty. 

She didn’t have time to dwell on their relationship issues however. As Sasuke tried to explain himself following his outburst which, Sakura couldn’t lie, shocked her, a more pressing crisis loomed. 

She had no idea how Sasuke couldn’t hear it. Maybe because of his state or the fact that he was talking but as he spoke Sakura heard uneven breaths and chaotic footsteps at her door. Naruto was injured. 

Soon after she exclaimed a thundering crash echoed while Sakura, with Sasuke close behind, were already racing to the porch.

“No. Naruto....” Sakura felt the breath leave her body when she opened her front door. She’d slipped on her clothes while running and from the corner of her eye she could see Sasuke already buttoned up too.

“Shit. Naruto.” Sasuke was peering over her in the frame at Naruto’s splayed body on the ground. 

Composing herself, she let her doctor side take control and briskly rushed towards Naruto. 

“Hi...Sakura...” Naruto whimpered. He was barely audible. 

“Shush. Let me check it out.” Sakura commanded as she carefully inspected him.  His wounds were serious but Sakura surmised that they were not life threatening, for now.

A gun shot wound clean through his shoulder caught Sakura’s eye first and from what she could tell he had broken his left foot severely. It twisted at an unnatural angle and stuck there even when he fidgeted. He seemed to have broken his right wrist as well but Sakura determined that this was the least of his worries at the moment. His shoulder wound bled profusely. 

“Okay. Sasuke we can move him. He’s losing blood but I’ll apply pressure till inside.”

“Yeah.”

With that Sakura and Sasuke carried him gently to her couch. Naruto’s situation seemed to melt away the coldness that was setting in between them minutes prior. For now it was pushed to the side. 

“Ah! It freaking hurts.”

“Shush. I told you. It’ll be fine.” 

“Sasuke hold him down. I need to reset these bones before I heal him.”  If I use my powers before the bones might heal and stay warped like that. If it were to extract a bullet or the like Sakura wagered that she could manage the extraction with the little control of the green flame she had, no tools or prodding necessary. But resetting bones? She wouldn’t dare take the chance.

“Hn.” Sasuke responded while pressing down on Naruto’s uninjured shoulder and pressing down on his wound.

“One. Two. Three.”

“Aaaaaaaah! Shit!”

Naruto was wailing now. His voice temporarily returning, bursting through due to his pain. Sakura had twisted his foot back into place and was grasping his wrist. 

“Shhhhhhhit!” 

His wrist was next. 

“Man up Naruto.”

“You...”

“Naruto. Shush!” Sakura yelled. “I need to concentrate. That delay already screwed us a lot.” 

In an instant she tore open Naruto’s jacket, removed his Kevlar vest and gently caressed his wound with both hands, now lit aflame with a vibrant, green power. From her forehead mark intricate ribbons of violet sprung forth and weaved and wrapped around her arms, face and legs. 

This was Sakura’s second power: the power to heal others through sharing her own regenerative abilities. With the release of her mark, Sakura, in exchange for being confined to where she stood, overflowed with power. This was more power than she usually controlled and a power that she could apparently share with others she touched in the form of her green flame of healing. The result was her own super human healing being shared and transferred to her patient and now it was Naruto’s turn.

“Their aim, they shot you exactly where you weren’t protected with your Kevlar...” Sakura’s words were but a whisper as she focussed with hawk like accuracy on her patient. 

“Sakuraaa...” Naruto moaned. His eyes were shut and his grimace was now morphing into a more peaceful expression. “Thank yoooou...”

The energy coating Sakura’s palms was taking effect. Gradually his wound was sealing up and other bruises on his body. 

Seconds later, she was finished.

“Phew.” Sakura exhaled as she collapsed on the ground at the side of the couch. “Good as new!”

“Sakura. You’re okay right?” 

 Sasuke was standing over her. He always showed concerned when she healed them. Sakura assumed it had something to do with her exerting herself healing him on the night they fought Kabuto and, despite her assuring him that her state was due to her being weakened from the fight, he still looked worried whenever she released her bindi to heal.

She felt the warmth of his palm brace her back as she leaned into the coffee table. Despite their problems before, Sasuke still cared. Of course they’d get over this. 

She was sure of it. 

“Ah. Yes. Thank you Sasuke.”  Sakura shot a glance back and saw worry coupled with frustration reflected from Sasuke’s features. She hurriedly dropped her eyes and turned back in an instant to face Naruto. 

Too soon.

“Naruto!” 

As she turned to face him, she was relieved to see his blond head shoot up from the couch. Naruto was back. 

“Wow Sakura chan. I feel as good as new! Thanks again!” Naruto’s voice was peppered with cheer and light as usual and even amongst this chilly night and the tension in the room between Sasuke and Sakura, his warmth thrived.

“I was able to restore you one hundred percent. Regen and blood building too. Ah..basically It’s as if you never got hurt tonight,” Sakura explained. She was carefully rising up to take up a seat next to Naruto on the couch.

“Oh I see. You’re amazing, Sakura chan!”  

Naruto’s outburst was refreshing and welcomed and Sakura loved him for it. He really was the light in their little trio. So helpful and cheery. 

“What the hell happened to you, Naruto?” Sasuke demanded. He remained standing. 

He was focusing on the issue at hand and Sakura knew she had to do the same. 

“Yeah, Naruto what exactly did happen to you? Was this the thieves’ doing?” 

“It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got time. Start talking.” Sasuke’s stared narrowed.

He may have come across as outraged and impatient but Sakura knew better and she was pretty sure Naruto saw through it as well. Beneath his flaming rage (pun intended) Sakura could see that he was terrified. Sasuke almost lost Naruto, in his mind, and he needed answers. He wanted, no, he needed to find whoever did this to his friend. 

It was a sentiment she understood for Sakura felt the same. 

“Konohamaru, one of the kids I mentor, well we had a session at night at the center. I was packing up when I heard him and his friends talking about getting high just once...East Jonin”

“Hn. So that’s why you were patrolling there, Naruto without telling us.” 

“I didn’t think it was a big deal. I was just going to spy. I interrupted that heist while following those kids actually but I found them.”

“You could of told us Naruto. Why didn’t you tell Sasuke and I anything?”

“I... I didn’t think it would be an issue. I was just tailing them.”

“Honestly! You are so much trouble sometimes.”

“Ah Sakura chan.... anyway I didn’t see anyone in any event.”

“ I don’t doubt your strength but we need more info on the blessed one and you tonight... this!” Sakura was facing Naruto and squeezing her throw pillow against her chest. She couldn’t even put together the words to express how dire this situation was. 

“She’s right. You jumped in like an idiot and got beat up, didn’t you?” Sasuke’s brows furrowed. 

“You...”

“Okay Naruto. Continue your story.” Sakura’s voice was calm and soft once more. She need to calm down and not be such a rookie. 

“Go on.” 

“The thing is I didn’t confront any group. Konohamaru and his friends went to some White Sun fortune telling place and popped in then popped out. It’s near those clubs in the Sarutobi Precinct in the East. They didn’t hit any club or meet anyone in the street.”

“The drugs?” Sakura already had samples but one could never be too careful. She welcomed as many drug samples as she could get.

“Oh yeah I caught them, called their parents and grabbed it for us. I didn’t give the cops anything. I would have done it sooner had that damn robbery not sidetracked me.”

Naruto dug into his pocket and pulled out a minute plastic resealable bag then placed it gently in Sakura’s palms.

 “Here, Sakura.”

“Thank you.”

As Naruto continued to relate what went had happened Sakura felt the bile in her stomach rise. The reality of what happened hammered into her as her friend spoke. This was a crisis.

Following the kids he saw a robbery in progress and was sidetracked for a while but apparently he still caught them when they entered the store thanks to a tracker her planted on Konohamaru.

 He waited until they left and walked a bit before catching them and when they didn’t tell him anything more than some guy sold it to them in the store, Naruto decided to investigate it himself. 

After sending off those teens, he sneaked into the fortune telling store but found no one there. Sakura wondered if someone saw him deal with Konohamaru and took off but from what Naruto said, no one was around. There was no way anyone could have seen him that far off. The whole thing was strange. 

But before Sakura could ponder on that she was alarmed at what Naruto said next. This was when he spoke of his injuries and how the strongest hero in the city, apart from Sasuke, was taken out. 

“The place was clean so I headed behind to the alley to see if I found anyone there.”

“Did you?” Sasuke’s eyebrows raised in anticipation. Sakura could sense his anxiety. He wanted answers. He wanted to hunt. “Is that where they cornered you?”

“No one cornered me! That’s the thing. No one was there. I mean yeah the rain started to pour down but I checked everything. Nothing was there, well I saw nothing.”

“So then how did you get hurt Naruto?” Sakura felt like she could rip her pillow now. This wasn’t right. 

“It was when I was leaving. I started up to the roof when suddenly I felt a tingle, something brushed my back. Like vapor rub but more intense.... The next thing I knew I lost my balance and felt weak. I nearly fainted. For a second I couldn’t move. And that’s when it happened. I was shot....”

“Oh no.”

“Hn.”

“Thank God for all that rain. With all that water I was able to block off the alley and surf my ass out of there as soon as I got up from the fall. It’s also how I managed to get here as fast as I did.”

“And you’re telling me you still didn’t see anyone? After all that? What the hell Naruto!” Sasuke was seething and moved towards the both of them as he spoke. “How the hell could you...”

“I told you I didn’t see anything, bastard! Are you saying I was goofing off?”

“Guys stop it!” Sakura was screaming at this point as she stood up. Her pillow was tossed on the floor. 

“Sasuke leave him alone. Naruto you calm down.” With a sigh her tone softened. 

“Listen I know how frustrated we all are...” Sakura was looking at Sasuke as she spoke. 

“But the last thing we need is fighting. Don’t worry Sasuke, we’ll get them. Naruto is safe and that’s all that matters.”

“Sakura... tch. Whatever. We just need to stop them.”

“And we will. From what Naruto described, the paralysis and weakness... I have no doubt that this is our blessed one.”

“Sakura...” Now Naruto was standing too. “Now what should we do, guys? How do I get these bastards back?!” 

“Hn. I think you mean how do we get them. We’ve seen what happens when you’re left on your own.”

“You...”

“Anyway boys, we need to decide what we’re doing and when. Tomorrow night?”

“Sounds good to me!”

“Hn. We meet here at six thirty tomorrow night. Problems, Naruto?”

“No boss.” Naruto mocked. He stuck out his tongue for added effect. “No problem at all.”

Sasuke ignored him and Sakura thought she knew why. He was staring at her. One problem was solved so now their own personal issue was rearing it’s head again. Great. 

 Shannaro! Why me?

“I’m leaving.” Sasuke announced nonchalantly to no one in particular. Then he simply walked off.

“Naruto it’s late. You can spend the night here. I’ll fill you in on everything. Um.. I’ll be back!” Sakura ran towards the door following Sasuke right then.

“Oh thanks Sa...”

Sakura didn’t hear the rest. She was already out the room and rushing to the door.

Sasuke was leaving like nothing happened. Apart from Naruto’s incident they had their own issue tonight. Sure it was trivial comparing your boyfriend almost accidentally and unwillingly eating you out to almost being killed but whatever. Against all better judgement and her own promise to give the guy space and understanding Sakura needed to see him off. She needed for him to say something. Anything.

“Sasuke wait!” 

Sakura caught him as he opened her front door. 

“Sakura?” Sasuke didn’t expect her. She could tell from his brief expression of surprise. Maybe he thought she was too embarrassed? “What are you...”

“Sasuke listen.”

“I have nothing to say. Sorry for all the trouble. I have to go now. Jugo will be here soon.”

“I know it’s just...”

“I said leave it, Sakura,” Sasuke scoffed pointedly. 

His words were ice cold and cut bitterly into Sakura’s very being. The pain she felt was not from any anger but rather from the apparent pain, exhaustion and confusion that spiked each word.

His expression, one of regret and submission to whatever plagued him, covered his usually handsome and alluring features. His usually mischievous smirk that Sakura dreamed about was erased, only to be replaced with a scowl. And his eyes... Sasuke’s eyes were no longer velvety black like a moonless night, mysterious and bewitching , no, with furrowed brows his eyes were now clouded yet empty, blackened yet weak. 

He was in turmoil and Sakura helped put him there didn’t she?

That’s what did it. Sakura didn’t know what came over her. She lost herself, lost her resolve in that moment. Sasuke’s cold expression and the pain in his eyes piercing through with his chilling tone of voice...It haunted her.

 She had to say something. She didn’t care that she was now staring into his eyes with tears pooling in her own. She didn’t care if she was being emotional or ‘feminine’ or whatever the hell women are told they shouldn’t be. She had to be true to herself and say what was on her mind or else.

That’s when she blurted it out without restraint or regret. 

“You never say it do you? You never say ‘I love you’... You don’t want this, us and I’m sorry I did this to you.”

“Sakura what... You...No...” 

He was clearly at a loss for words. In an instant a myriad of expressions passed over him, cracking his cold facade. His brows raised and Sakura could see a kindle of emotion, real passionate, fiery emotion twinkle in his eyes. Pursing his lips, Sasuke seemed thrown off, so unlike his usual aspect. 

Sakura had broken open a path into something. Her issue, however, was that she had no idea where this now led. 

“I’m leaving.” Sasuke breathed then turned around. He struggled to regain his demeanor, this was apparent to Sakura but that failed to hamper him. He never looked back, not even a quiver of movement on his part. 

The door was then shut.

“I’m sorry Sasuke but we cannot move forward unless you are ready.”  Sakura, now alone, whispered to herself. She was on the verge of stuttering. 

“I am so so sorry.”

The following day slipped by, for the most part, uneventful. After leaving Sakura’s totally ashamed and even more frustrated than before, Sasuke stayed up all night. By the time he finally dozed off it was three in the morning. Sasuke has to wake up at six. 

Nothing really noteworthy occurred during his day. Work was fine and Uchiha Inc. was functioning as usual i.e. at optimum efficiency. Sasuke’s meetings were manageable, the reports were favorable and they even managed to secure quite a lucrative tender from the city: The Yamanaka Botanical Gardens. 

Clearly, even with the high level of competition, The Uchiha remained on top. Though Sasuke still looked carefully at Sirocco Development Company. Word had reached Sasuke that their C.E.O. was engaging in some ‘less than noble’ activities to secure tenders. No telling what kind of tricks they’d resort to. 

Indeed, his work life was running smoothly and with their planned stakeout scheduled for tonight, Sasuke was confident of success in that facet of his life too. His only real problem, it seemed, remained to be Sakura. 

He was such an idiot. Sasuke couldn’t believe that he lost control of himself and let things spiral out of control like that. How could he, Sasuke Uchiha, act with such carelessness and disregard for the consequences? Kissing wasn’t new to him but what happened after was the real problem. He was this close to... 

Shit.

Not that he didn’t want to. Though it’s precisely because he wanted her so bad that this was an issue. What would happen after the had sex? They were already inseparable now much less for when they would take their relationship to another level. 

The image of Sakura’s sadness and worry haunted him all day and he knew to himself that even when handling his affairs, Sakura was with him, her pain, her concern, her words. 

“You never say it. You never say ‘I love you’...”

Those verdant green eyes, moist with tears cut like shards of glass into his very soul as she spoke those words to him. All he could do was leave abruptly.

In an instant, his guilt transformed into anger and in his blind rage Sasuke sharply threw out his hands, knocking his files clean off his desk while he scowled. His breathing was heavy and chaotic and sweat began to form on his brow.  

 Of course he loved her. How could she ever doubt it? Sakura was precious to him and he’d do anything to protect her. Protecting her was how he showed his love... and it’s not like he never told her how talented she was; how skilled how beautiful; how much he loved spending time with her or how he would always be there for her. 

Yeah but you never told her, ‘I love you’, idiot. You never let her feel, truly feel loved. 

“Fuck.”

Without even noticing, he’d set the contents of his waste paper basket on fire. Cutting his thoughts short, Sasuke quickly negated the fire. No need for the smoke alarm and sprinklers to go off. 

Breathing in deeply, Sasuke calmed himself. He had to control his emotions, especially in the office. He would not dishonor his family and their legacy. When his vibrant scarlet irises dimmed and returned to their natural, velvety black, Sasuke left his spot: peering into the top floor’s windows at his own, pitiful reflection and returned to his desk. 

What? Sakura?

While he was freaking out, Sakura had apparently texted him. She probably didn’t feel comfortable calling or facetiming as she usually would. 

Great job, Sasuke. Tch.

Sakura’s message struck him stupid. Sasuke was awestruck as he read her it:

Sasuke, how are you? Have you eaten? 

Listen, I know you might need some space but know that I am here for you and I am not upset. I would never want to force you to do anything you don’t want to and please don’t feel guilty. 

 I know with all my heart that you do love me even if you have trouble dealing with all this. I trust you and you must know that I am in love with you. I don’t have to have sex anytime soon and you don’t have to make some grand confession. You have me, Sasuke Uchiha, you don’t have to prove anything to me. 

Even apart you have me in your corner.

I love you with all my heart and that’s precisely why I support you and always will regardless of what.

 Love is about supporting and caring and loving is wanting what’s best and I want what’s best for you. Just know that I am here. Can’t wait to meet you tonight for the mission. Take care until then. 

<3 <3 <3 

“Hn.” In the privacy of his office Sasuke found himself smiling tenderly as he read and re-read her message. Sakura and her damned complete sentences. His smile wasn’t one of happiness however. 

Sakura was right. 

To love is to want what’s best, and that’s precisely why he needed to end this. After this mission he was going to break up with her. 

All day she’d been dreading this. Despite her text, Sakura really wasn’t all that sure or secure. Facing Sasuke, even with a life threatening mission commencing, still unsettled her. She really was a rookie wasn’t she?

At this point, looking back at her day: dealing with Dr. Chiyo’s bitchiness, working through lunch because of that bus accident and then having to deal with Ino’s tantrums, Sakura felt that it truly wasn’t all that bad after all. Scratch that, her new supermodel friend’s ranting and raving about some Shikamaru guy and how tough her glamorous life was, still sucked. 

Sasuke was quiet when he arrived with Naruto at her house, which she realized was chosen as their meeting spot because it didn’t stand out and was closest to the East. However the awkardness still remained. 

As the vibrant lights that stippled the landscape of the city, now alive at night, streaked by, Sakura found herself sitting silently in the Humvee’s back seat. Her jaw was propped on her right hand which was braced against the window. As she peered at the outside world, the world they fought to protect, Sakura’s mind wandered.

  How lucky they are, she thought to herself as images of other, normal people reveling and carrying about normal and healthy lives flashed before her. For a few minutes Sakura realised that she actually felt a pang of envy for those citizens, who’d never have to deal with balancing personal issues, a job and life as a full time hero or in this case, heroine. 

Her only other form of distraction from her turmoil, at this moment, was her attempt at reflecting on her day and Ino and her drama while they sped through the streets of Leaf City. She definitely was not going to think about their mission against someone who could do that to Naruto, anymore than she needed to. Their plan was solid and worrying decreases success rate so that was a no. 

I wonder what Ino would think if she knew I used to dress like her as a civilian just a few months ago?

Since Haruno’s debut, the heroine garnered a huge fan following, especially from girls so it wasn’t a surprise to Sakura that short, pink hair became Leaf City’s hottest fashion trend. It was still so strange to her but hey, at least she could wear her natural look all the time now, well mostly natural, if you exclude the oil based concealer still covering her bindi -birthmark. 

Who’s the fashion icon now, Ino?!

“That okay, Sakura?” 

“Uh what!” Sakura squeaked, her tone a clear give away of her shock and lack of focus.

It was Naruto who asked something from the front passenger seat and was now staring at her with a confused expression.

“Um are you okay?”

“Oh yeah fine. Fine. Sorry I zoned out for a bit.” Sakura apologised, avoiding looking at Sasuke in the mirror. She could feel him staring at her from his mirror. “Long day.”

“Phew. Must be tough being a doctor and a superhero. Anyway, I was asking if we should park a few blocks away and try to scope out the area,” Naruto explained. His cerulean eyes were now hard and focused as they always were on a mission. “Someone was watching me from a distance. I’m sure of it!” 

Get your own head in the game, Sakura. Or you’ll be chasing their backs forever.

“I think that’s a good idea. Sasuke?” Her voice was meek but this time she made contact with him via the rear view mirror. His met hers and Sakura could see his regret reflected on those eyes. He was trying. Trying so hard to act normal and regain what they lost. That was evident. 

“I told him that made sense... which was a surprise.” Sasuke teased, with a small smirk, his signature. He really was beginning to act more like his old self apparently and Sakura was so grateful for that.

“Bastard!”

She’d never been so happy to hear them argue before. 

Thank you.

“You guys we’re just past the line of clubs. We should be there in five.”

“Oh yeah.You’re right Sakura. This area is dead this late but we should still keep our eyes peeled.”

“Hn. It’s smart when you think about it. All this time everyone searched nightclubs and the other usual places but these dealers have been operating from a fortune telling shop of all places.”

“I agree. Close enough to the nightclub scene for customers but far away enough and inconspicuous enough to avoid detection. Shannaro! It’s ingenious! If it weren’t for Naruto knowing all those teens we’d never have guessed.” 

God, discussing the case like this, matching wits with him... this was normal, this was safe and Sakura’s mood lightened. 

“Something is off...” Sasuke suddenly asserted. “Why ‘White Sun’ and why a fortune telling shop? We still need more info.” Sasuke’s expression; his clenched jaw gave away his deep concentration. 

“Eh those guys must be freaks. Up their own asses. What say you Sakura?”

“Well I wouldn’t put it like that, Naruto.” Sakura laughed nervously. “But...hm... You might be on to something...it could be linked to their M.O. These people are obviously not typical criminals or super villains as the case may be. This could be reflecting how they view themselves. Self -aggrandisement: maybe they think they are imparters of wisdom, shedding light or something for others to come to them.”

“Wow Sakura I didn’t know you dabbled in psychology.”

“Heh heh. I just did a few compulsory courses in university but um... this was just me babbling cause I watch a lot of crime dramas when I get home from missions.”

“What? Ahahahaha!” Naruto roared. Naruto’s loud and cheery laughter echoed throughout the Humvee and Sakura found herself grinning along with him.

Even Sasuke seemed to crack a smile up front which her all the more happy. This was her new family and she knew Sasuke cherished both her and Naruto in the same way. This was good for him. For them. 

She couldn’t believe, despite this being a mission, that such tragedy would later befall them. Fate truly was unpredictable for minutes later, their trials for the night had officially begun. 

What’s that sound? 

“Guys are you hearing a buzz...”

“Fuck! Sasuke watch out!”

“Sasuke!”

“Brace!...” 

If Sasuke could rewind time he’d much prefer to stay at Sakura’s house and endure that troublesome tension between them; the deafening silence and forced conversation, he hoped Naruto didn’t pick up on. 

Sure he put on his best face and tried to act normally around her but all he could summon was talk about the mission and directions. Yup normal couple talk. 

Tch.

Despite his disciplined upbringing and his resolve to act normally: get in, get out then break up with her after, he still flaked. Sasuke still allowed a sliver of discomfort, a thread of emotional baggage to weave its way into his mind and heart tonight. Yet still, it was more favorable than this dilemma. 

And Sakura, she seemed as uncomfortable and hesitant as he did. Way to go Sasuke. In spite of her texts, which he knew were genuine, she still was hurt and couldn’t bring herself to act normally in person.  

 It really was just a mere appetizer for the shit that was to follow this night. Now everything before entering the SUV all seemed inconsequential. 

After all that wasn’t just a random blessed one’s power. No. Even with Naruto’s power and his reflexes Sasuke could tell that this enemy was not to be taken lightly. That beam, or whatever it was, was potent. It reminded him of Kabuto’s sonic wave, his ability that knocked them around a few months back and that was hardly a good sign.

Is that was got Naruto and killed those Anbu? No what hit Naruto was just a caress, a portion of that power. 

Shit. 

Sasuke thought he had to thank that baka when he got the chance. The last thing he remembered before that strange blast of blue light collided with his Humvee, was Sakura saying she was hearing a strange sound and then blinding streaks of blue light blasting into them. 

Luckily for them, Sasuke veered the Hummer and Naruto’s ‘water wall’ managed to mitigate the lessen the force of whatever the hell that was. However that’s where their luck ran out. 

Now, eating an airbag as his Hummer was halfway into a department store, all Sasuke could think about was his team. 

“Sakura! Naruto!”

“Relax, we’re fine.” Naruto said in a semi-groan. “Right Sakura?” 

When Sasuke faced him, he saw Naruto struggling against his own airbag to choke out his words. Typical.

“Don’t worry boys. I’m fine.” Sakura assured, her voice as clear and powerful as ever. That’s what super human healing did for a person, Sasuke supposed and for that he was grateful. 

He could not and would not lose her. 

She was not dying too.

In a brisk movement, Sasuke saw her arms reach forward. “Pop!” With that his airbags were now cloth in her hands. 

“Ah. Thanks.”

“Hm hm. Come on guys get your masks on. I think we’ve got company. I think I hear someone clattering towards us. Enemies.”

“Tch. We make a dash for it on three. All on the left side.”

“I’ve been waiting for this!” Naruto boomed, his face wore and expression of excitement married with rage as he spoke. He was cracking his knuckles before slipping on his mask. 

“Three.”

On his signal the trio swiftly exited the Hummer. The Yamanaka Flower and Gift Shop was utterly wrecked. Everywhere, shards of glass, mounds of rubble and scattered flowers, leaves and petals in varying hues could be seen dotting the store’s interior. The Yamanaka Flower and Gift Shop was due a sizable, anonymous donation, that was for sure. 

Three masked super heroes standing together around a destroyed flower shop. This night was really a mess. As his companions gathered near the gaping hole in the wall, Sasuke still checked them out to ensure that they truly were unharmed. He had to make sure.

Sakura seemed uninjured and calm. As usual for her missions, she wore her blood red sleeveless qipao dress with her black gloves and her grey elbow and knee protectors. Her face, though, was now covered, hidden behind a white mask resembling a cat’s with pink stripes and a wide grin. Months ago, after teaming up with him and Naruto, she had decided to shed her civilian look (a blonde wig and blue contacts) and now, joining the two masked heroes, she wore a mask to conceal her appearance. She also said that it made them look like a real team. 

“I still hear footsteps,” Sakura announced while peering outside. “But I can’t see anyone in front.”

As she spoke she looked at him with one eyebrow raised. She knew that he was checking on her, he was sure of it. 

“Sasuke...”

“I don’t see anyone either. Anyway let’s meet those bastards outside!” Naruto howled.

Over his loud orange pants and sandals, Naruto donned a pitch black uniform jacket with an orange zipper and buttons on his waist and sleeves. His concise, pointy blond hair was held behind a black ribbon, which itself, was sealed by his mask: a white mask resembling a fox’s head with red stripes that noticeably lacked a mouth. 

“Hn. It’s a trap for sure,” Sasuke informed them. He hated being cornered like this. Securing his mask, a traditional dragon headed mask, white with cobalt stripes, Sasuke cloaked in all black with white bandages over his limbs, made his decision. 

 “We need to spring it to make any headway.”  Sasuke announced. As much as he hated risks like this, it was the only way. Sakura had her healing power and Naruto’s water barriers were sturdy enough.

“What the hell?!” Naruto complained. The trio were now outside the ruined shop andeven with his mask on Sasuke could tell that Naruto was disappointed and angry, more so than he’d ever seen him. “Where are those assholes?!” 

Who could blame him? Even Sasuke found himself at a loss for words. Before them, amongst the darkness of downtown East Jonin, nothing but huge stores and skyscrapers could be seen. No traffic and definitely no super villains.

No one was there. 

“I don’t get it I heard them!” Sakura explained, with a index finger bent at the chin of her mask, indicating she was analyzing the situation they faced. “Another blessing?”

“Wrong.” A voice snickered from above and in an instant another barrage of light was launched at them from behind.

“Ice Blue Flame protect!” Sasuke, thundered in an instant, responding to the threat. In the face of the lasers of blue light Sasuke’s ability, dominion over his flame’s heat and density, took effect. 

With arms outstretched Kagutsuchi erected wall of fire the color of lapiz lazuli, shielding the heroes from the onslaught of the enemy’s mystery power. Beginning as a wall, Sasuke bent his flames in such a manner that they soon cloaked his team, cocooning both Sakura and Naruto in it’s warmth and protection, before willing his fire to propel them several metres back.

“Sasuke, thank you.” Sakura breathed. 

“Yeah, Shit I couldn’t form my water barrier in time.” Naruto lamented though his body was poised for attack as they now faced the direction of their enemies. 

“Hn. You owe me.” Sasuke teased in response to Kurama, his characteristic smirk proudly adorning his face under his mask. He couldn’t say more, though, for even his enemies were adamant. 

“What the hell?!” 

Sakura couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. Suddenly, the orb of Sasuke’s blue fire that covered them, protecting them from that odd laser, was gone. Roaring cerulean flames that lit the night were now vanishing, dissolving into petal like embers before her. 

Sasuke’s power was defeated.

“What the hell?!” Sasuke growled as his flames died. 

“Look over there!” Naruto yelled while pointing to a peculiar light in the distance. 

There, descending from the roof the flower shop, were three figures. Their enemies, wrapped in revolutions of sky blue light in the form of a sphere, were now floating down to street level. 

“The same wind from before, no doubt.” Sakura observed. 

How versatile was that power? 

“So she can defend and attack? Be careful. Naruto. Sakura.”

“Why do all the villains have the awesome powers?”

As the group landed, the energy vanished from around them and it was then that Sakura finally caught a look at their assailants. Outfitted in what looked like black leathers from head to toe, were three, hooded individuals. Judging from the smaller, yet curvaceous frames of two of them, Sakura guessed that they were women while the larger, muscular figure in the middle was male. Their identities however, were hidden behind charcoal masks covering the lower half of their faces. 

Only their bright, lavender eyes, eyes that seemed to shift from plain white to the hue of violet tourmaline were clearly visible like resplendent jewels.

 From their eyes, Sakura could tell that these villains were extraordinarily strong and disciplined. Their eyes radiated power and purpose; a fatal beauty. They were not just drug dealers. 

No, they were so much more. 

Blessed ones... 

“They nullified my flames. Be on your guard.” 

Sasuke was clearly surprised but nonetheless,Sakura could tell he was already readying himself for battle. So was Naruto and she had to do the same. Blessed ones or not they had to win. 

“We’ll kick their asses regardless!” Naruto proclaimed. Through the eye holes in his mask Sakura noticed the spark of blue power lighting his irises, the total opposite of Sasuke’s which were of deep scarlet. 

His hands were coated, lit with wisps of sea-blue energy. Naruto had activated his blessing, Suiton, Water release, and in an instant launched an attack towards the trio. 

“Hold on, Naruto!” Sasuke yelled, he was proceeding with caution Sakura realized. Though his urging was to no avail. Naruto had already made his move.

“Suiton: Water Dragon!” Naruto, as Kurama, bellowed while a massive torrent of clean, clear water tinged in a light blue light sprung forth from the energy at his palms and blasted into their enemies. Mid way, Sakura noticed that Naruto’s attacked formed itself into the head of a fierce Eastern dragon as it dove into the villains.

His attack, however, was for naught.

“Pathetic. Air Palm: Vacuum Wall!” 

In response to Naruto’s assault, one of the smaller villains, a woman, let loose her own attack, the ‘laser’ from before.

Shit.

The darkness of the night was then set ablaze and enlivened by the luminous sparks of power and thunderous roaring of their blessings clashing. Now that Sakura could properly observe the blessing in action she realized that it wasn’t a laser or beam at all. Instead, Naruto’s deluge was met by lustrous streaks of light, dancing and piercing through the night’s darkness like a violent whirlwind. 

What amazed Sakura more was its effects. While initially clashing evenly with Kurama’s power, once contact was made for a while, the girl’s whirlwind seemingly erased Naruto’s attack and arrowed through towards the group. 

“What the fuck?!” Naruto screamed in anguish as the gust of blue energy sought to crash into them.

Even Sasuke’s blast of fire, his Inferno Espada, which he had shot out in the last minute was reduced to embers dancing in the night breeze when up against the whirlwind. 

“Move!” Sakura shouted while invoking her Strength of One Hundred power to lift and toss Kurama and Kagutsuchi aside while she herself evaded the stream of light. “Shannaro!”

Instead of hitting them, Sakura realized that the attack made contact with a streetlight adjacent to them, one now flickered weakly before shutting off.

She scatters energy.

“Sakura!” Sasuke shouted. Both him and Naruto speedily met her at her side from where she tossed them. 

“Are you alright?” Naruto questioned, ensuring to keep his gaze fixed on the three enemies before them. Enemies who now were walking towards them slowly and casually. 

“What?”

Before her team could launch another attack, surprisingly, one of them, the man, halted and raised his palm to signal the others to do the same. 

“So this is the Leaf’s finest?” he mocked. His voice was laced with condescension and scorn. “Pathetic.” 

“Who the fuck are you?!” Naruto shot back. He was angry, pissed off completely, judging from his voice. From the corner of her eye Sakura could see his palms glowing once more. 

But she didn’t have time to observe Naruto as something else caught her attention. 

The woman who attacked them was now leaning against a wall near with the other in front of her.

Is she weak from using that power so much?

“We’re going to kill you so I guess it doesn’t matter anyway.” The stranger had resumed speaking, obviously enjoying taunting Naruto and bragging. “We are the Hyuga Clan. One of the original clans of Leaf City from the East, now back to reclaim our city.”

“The Hyuga?” Sasuke had finally joined the conversation. Sakura had no doubt that he noticed the woman as well but it seems that the man’s comment jarred him some how. “Impossible. The Hyuga are gone. They were slavers exiled and later defeated when this city was just a settlement in the New World.”

“Yet here we are. You know quite a bit about the clans. Let me guess? Senju, Uchiha? Maybe you’re an Uzumaki? Not that it matters. You shall die. Hanabi, Hinata!” 

At his command the women behind hims rushed forward. Sakura thought for a brief moment that the whole three versus three situation was so comic book cliche and convenient, maybe too convenient. She didn’t have time to dwell on that however for their enemies were closing in on them. 

“I’ll take the girl who attacked”, Sakura said. “She’s long ranged so I can probably get her.”

“Hn. I’ll go for the leader.” Sasuke added.

“That leaves me with the other girl. No problem guys!” 

���Good luck boys. Switching to our mask communicators now.”

“Yup.”

“Hn.”

Kurama, Kagutsuchi and Haruno then broke off each in separate directions. Usually Sakura would have urged them to stay together and bombard the enemy but that girl’s power along with the fact that the others’ powers were unknown posed some major problems. Her self healing and regeneration coupled with her speed/strength would be the best bet. Sakura had a feeling that power had taken out Naruto and killed the Anbu so she was the best choice. 

Running towards the smaller girl, Sakura could see that she was still shaky and her movements weren’t as polished as the rest. A side effect of her using that ability three times in such a short span of time, no doubt.

I’ll finish this quickly. 

Naruto sent forth another water dragon at the other girl while Sasuke had let loose scorching fireballs, his signature move, towards the man. 

Based on what was said over their communication channel and what she peaked from the corner of her eye, Sakura gathered that her attack was going to land first. 

All according to plan. 

That would give her time to reunite and help the boys in the event that things get sticky. Mitigating risks was of course her main priority.

The really were not run of the mill criminals or super villains for that matter. 

We have to end this fast! 

 Sakura had channeled her superior strength into her feet and kicked off half way there, maximizing her speed in an attempt to catch the girl off guard and evade whatever whirlwind she’d have prepared for her initially. The other two were evading Naruto and Sasuke’s first strikes it seemed. No matter. 

Just a little longer.

 With her fist balled up the heroine measured her strength and was poised to knock the woman out.

The girl, however, seemed taken aback by Haruno’s last minute increase in speed for her slashes of cerulean energy that cut through the night failed to hit Haruno. Instead, one vein of power barely brushed the top of Sakura’s hair as she adeptly evaded and closed into her target.

Shannaro! Almost there... Yes!

“Eight Trigrams Palms: Revolving Heaven!”

“Aah!” Sakura wailed as she was sent flying several metres back. She had failed.

Seconds before making contact with her opponent, Sakura was utterly repelled by what seemed to be an orbiting of cyan colored energy akin to the whirlwind and the shield from before.

 However Sakura’s opponent wasn’t the source of this power like she had previously thought.  She expected a dome but from the wrong person. When her girl missed her initial attack she thought she was in the clear. She was wrong.

Shit.

The user of this power was the other woman from the start. The woman whose hands were now covered in flames of the same hue. She had protected not only, Sakura’s opponent but her entire team.

Along with Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke were also tossed back and their blasts of water and fire bounced off of the dome of revolving blue energy, energy that protected all three of their enemies. 

Luckily, both boys braces themselves with icy blue fire and massive bubbles of water. Only Sakura hit concrete when she summer-salted and wobbled a bit on her landing. Such was the force of her own strength, even restrained, sent back at her. 

“Sakura are you okay?” Naruto shouted. He was in front of her with Sasuke who was eyeing his enemies like a hawk, standing with his katana drawn.

“You’re healing?” Sasuke asked without turning away from his enemies who were now dashing towards them, no longer sheltered behind their shield.

“I’m fine. Healed already.” 

“Hn. Two powers revealed. Shielding and that energy sapping wind.” Sasuke’s voice was optimistic as he spoke and Sakura could tell he was trying to motivate them, her especially. 

“One more Shannaro!” Sakura yelled while cracking her gloved knuckles.

 Sasuke knew how to raise her spirits, sometimes even better than Naruto. The more data the better and despite her failed plan, they were closer to winning. At least she hoped so.

“Suiton: Water Clones!” Naruto boomed with clasped hands into the night. From the blue aura whirling around his hands sparks of azure spilled onto the ground and from this energy six miniature geysers of water sprung forth. In seconds these geysers moulded themselves into translucent copies of Naruto himself: Water Clones.

 Sakura had witnessed this technique before yet still found herself marveling at his prowess. Naruto’s dominion of water was absolute. 

“Sasuke, Sakura. I’ll take on the barrier user. My clones and waves should beat her down.”

“ I’ll take the leader.” Sasuke instructed. His eyes, through his mask were lit scarlet and focused on the their approaching enemies. “This should slow them down. Fire Style:Phoenix Flower!” 

On his command as he swung he slashed his katana, a volley of bright, amber miniature fireballs launched in a flurry towards the three Hyuga. From all directions they were attacked. 

“Sasuke, I should handle him. That girl knows about my plan now and your amaterasu...”

“I said I’ll take the leader. Sakura, Naruto let’s go!” Sasuke barked. He was adamant. 

Meanwhile the three Hyuga were once more covered by their barrier avoiding every fireball and even a few of Naruto’s water clones he’d sent out to keep them back. 

“We don’t have time Sakura. I’ll do it.” Sasuke continued. He was not budging and Sakura was puzzled by his sudden stubbornness and uncharacteristic panic.

He was right though. Their enemies were closing in and they had no time to be dawdling arguing but Sakura felt that something was wrong. She wasn’t being a naive rookie, in fact she was seeing everything clearly. Repeating the same strategy would not work.

 Why wasn’t he getting it? Why was he so fixed on fighting the leader? If those girls were that strong then...!

That’s when it dawned on her. Sasuke wanted to fight him himself because he was the strongest. Possibly the most deadly. Naruto and his clones, Sakura and her healing Sasuke knew they’d be safer against the weaker members.

 One used a shield and the other was evaded a few times but that man was unknown. Sasuke wanted to face the biggest threat. He was protecting them. Again. Against all logic. 

No. I won’t let him.

“Sasuke listen to me. I am fighting that man. You don’t have to protect me from everything.”

“Sakura...”

“Guys what the hell?!”

That’s as far as they got though for as soon as Naruto had yelled at them, emerging from the dying barrier were the Hyuga. As the barrier faded they swiftly switched into the offensive with a massive gust of wind-like energy being palmed out towards the trio. 

All Sakura and the boys could do was scatter and separate once more. Naruto and Sasuke to the left and Sakura to the right. Exactly where the man had apparently rushed too. 

“I wanted to take you out, kunoichi,” the man made known. He stood mere feet away from Sakura on one side of the road away from the other four. “Can your punches measure up to me?”

“Hm. I wanted to get to you too.” Sakura shot back with a smirk. “You’ll pay for dealing in our city.” 

“We shall see.” 

Those were his only words before he dashed towards Sakura, palms outstretched. 

“Shannaro!”

Automatically, Sakura sprang into action. Focusing her herculean strength into her right fist, she quickly struck the pavement beneath them, pulverizing it. Her Cherry Blossom Impact move was invoked and now upended their footing while forming an explosion; sending a shock wave towards the Hyuga. 

“No...”

“Weak.” 

That’s what Sasuke heard the woman he’d been fighting say while she easily dispatched his Great Fire Ball technique with her power. Even his favorutie move was nothing before her streaks of power.

He didn’t plan on fighting her, though he had to admit she was troublesome. No, Sasuke’s target was that man. The leader from that group. He couldn’t put his finger on it but, apart from common sense dictating that the leader is the most powerful, the way he spoke, his tone and his presence, it all spelled trouble. He was their greatest threat and he was now facing Sakura.

Fuck.

Naruto was bombarding the shield user with water clones and a few whirlpools, his specialty, so he seemed okay. Sasuke, however,wasn’t faring as well and him worrying about Sakura and that man didn’t help his situation any. 

She saw right through him. Naturally. That brain of hers could be so annoying sometimes. Yeah he realized the girl would have figured out her plan but what else could he have done? Sakura and Naruto were better off fighting those women. At least then they’d support one another with healing and clones. One seemed strictly defensive and the other was offensive. They’d have handled it. It was the best he could hope for apart from pulling them out of the battle, Sakura especially.

Sure he didn’t doubt her power or skill but it was still too much. After what happened last night, after his paranoia of losing her gnawing at him all these months, he had had it. He couldn’t go through that loss, that pain again. He could control his feelings for her but he could protect her.

Alas, it was meaningless now. From the corner of his eye he saw the Hyuga male charging at her but with the girl watching him like a hawk and sending out her annoying gusts of energy, he was useless. His last attack towards the man to help Sakura failing miserably, made that abundantly clear. 

So all he could hope for was either him or Naruto kicking these girls’ asses in time to help Sakura. He had a bad feeling about that man. He was trouble. 

“Inferno Espada!” Sasuke shouted into the night as twin streaks of roaring, orange-yellow flames raced across the asphalt leaving scorch marks in their wake. The target? The woman once more. 

Against her next air palm, however, his flames died while her power raged on, speeding towards Sasuke. One touch and he was sure he’d be out.

“Ugh!”

With outstanding agility, Sasuke jumped out of the way and while in motion, rolling on the ground spat out three, swift balls of fire towards the woman. 

Once more he attacked and once more he failed, leading to him dodging again. He then blasted a flamethrower-like attack at the girl before bracing himself for her retaliation. A simple rinse and repeat. All according to plan. 

“What the hell are you doing, Sasuke?!” Naruto screamed, his rage seeping from his voice. “Why the fuck are you wasting your power?” 

“Tch. Focus on your opponent and don’t mind my business.” Sasuke shot back. It was hypocritical of him since he’d been doing the same thing to both Naruto and Sakura but whatever. Sasuke didn’t care about being right or a good sport. 

Kurama had about a dozen clones pummeling a sphere, shaped barrier around the other woman before he launched at tidal wave at the orb so obviously he was having difficulty himself. Yet he felt the need to lecture Sasuke. How typical.

He was right though. Sasuke was wasting power. The pay out? He was forcing the opponent to do the same. With every attack he’d notice that she was weakening, slowing and running out of strength. Consecutive gusts of power were fainter and fainter as they dissipated his flames into nothingness, simple embers carried off by the frigid, night breeze.

This was devolving to a battle of stamina, that was for sure and Sasuke knew that this was a battle he had to, was going to win. 

Naruto was safe. That baka had more stamina than most and even his opponent was trapped, unable to do anything but defend against his unrelenting bombardment. Naruto was focusing in one spot at her barrier’s front, Sasuke noticed.

 Smart. 

Sasuke even saw her shield be nudged back from time to time as he glimpsed his teammate. He even caught on to Naruto’s other plan as he took in their battle unbeknownst to him. With a smile to himself he thought that they really weren’t that different after all.

Thus clearly, Sakura’s fight was going to be the toughest. 

“Shannaro!” Sakura bellowed and instantly Sasuke turned, after sending a couple of fireballs out at his opponent. She notably evaded this time as opposed to using her blessing on the balls of flame, both now speeding off in the distance. 

“Hn.” Sasuke smirked.

A resounding explosion followed Sakura’s battle cry telling Sasuke what was happening. Erecting several fire walls in front of his opponent, he shot a glance at Sakura.  He knew that cry anywhere and as he looked in her direction he expected to see her awesome strength in action.

Cherry Blossom Impact huh?

Once more his characteristic smirk gleamed across his face, still hidden beneath his dragon mask.

What he saw later, though, wiped off the smirk that was forming on his face. Sakura’s attack was halted. Literally.

Before her power, with palms outstretched the man was safe while the rubble, dust and force of Sakura’s shock wave froze, remaining stationery at his palms, seeemingly floating in the air. Around him however, the explosion progressed as usual on both sides, dust and rubble spewing about naturally. 

His blessing was revealed at last and it was truly the most deadly of the three. This is what Sasuke had now realised.

 He was the one. 

Sakura!

Don’t let him touch you, Sakura. Left, right, sweep the feet, jump! 

Sakura had no time to lament over her failed attack and that Hyuga guy literally stopping her attack with his palms. Her main concern now was evading his blows. 

His taijutsu was impeccable and Sakura could only guess how many years he’d spent honing his hand to hand skills. Without slowing he transitioned from halting her shockwave to leaping up in a black arc and thrusting his palm out at her. 

Thank God she was able to respond in time. 

“Guys, I’m fine!” She barked into her mask’s speaker. She’d seen Sasuke’s failed attempt as assistance before when that girl nullified his fireball in the man’s direction and more recently, turning towards her after her cherry blossom impact failed in between lunging and dodging his own enemy’s power.  

“Not bad, girl.” The man teased as powerful thrusts of his palms nearly grazed her face. “Before my Gentle Fist however you cannot win.” 

They’d been at this for minutes since he froze her explosion mid air. 

“Ugh!” Sakura groaned as she pulled off a back flip in an attempt to avoid him sweeping the ground and tripping her with his legs. She didn’t know how long she could keep this up and despite her strength, she wasn’t willing to take the chance of trying to hit him. 

If he managed to hit her instead she’d lose. He already grazed her once and her forearm was numb in one spot. Despite her usual recklessness she couldn’t risk that again. Apparently her healing wasn’t viable in this situation. Perfect.

Widening the distance between them was her best bet, she realised, hence her retreating a few meters back. 

Her attempt was futile though, for the man was on her tail, his palms ever outstretched.

 “What the... haah!” 

Another cherry blossom impact hammered the asphalt producing yet another wave of rock and rubble and thrusting it towards the man. In spite its force however, before his powers, her move had once more failed. 

“You never learn do you?” 

“Shut it!” Sakura barked, now kicking a parked car she had passed in his direction. As if being driven, the minivan shot out, rapidly flying towards the Hyuga. Sakura leaned against a light pole as her projectile sought to make contact.

“Pathetic. Eight Trigrams Gentle Fist!”

Instantaneously, as his palms grazed the car crashing into him, all motion had ceased. The car was fixed where it stood, barely brushing against his opened palm. 

“Everything stops. Everything slows before me!” The man hollered from behind the immobile minivan. “I am Neji of the Hyuga clan and you will die by my hands, wom... ugh!”

“Shut the hell up! Shannaro!” Sakura raged as she swatted him and the minivan with a light pole she was now handling like a baseball bat. He was going to feel that in the morning that was for damn sure.

 Or maybe not.

Fuck.

 She thought she felt resistance for second as she beat the van and pole into him and now that he revealed himself at her anterior she realised what it was. He’d temporarily halted her move with his blessing long enough to move away. That’s why she found herself pouring more strength to power through the motion. 

“Nice try, girl.” The man snickered through his mask. “I stop everything, remember?” 

What the hell are these Hyuga?  

Get your head in the game, Sakura!

Regardless of her set back Sakura knew she had to get her shit together. Her attack still struck him as a surprise. That was a pro. It didn’t matter to her that the man had managed to evade it in time all she had to do was keep bashing away. 

Steeling herself, Sakura continued her onslaught.

 “Shannaro!” she yelled as she swung, jabbed and swept her light pole in his direction, nearly bashing him countless times. Sometimes he paused her swing to move away in a split second, others he simply evaded so Sakura knew she was making some headway. 

He’s fast but at least now he’s the one dodging. Come on!

 She didn’t know how long she could keep this up but it was of no consequence. As she patted her pouch at her waist, fingering through the pocket with her free hand, Sakura readied step two of her plan. 

Her real surprise. 

“Planning on using that scalpel dipped in poison after you catch me with your pole?” Neji laughed. He’d just side stepped Sakura’s lunge of the steel light pole when he spoke. 

Sakura, briefly tripped up as she heard those chilling words. Words that she realised could would spell complete and utter defeat. How the hell did he know that? All of that? She felt her stomach turn and a heat at the back of her spine. Sakura, suddenly felt her confidence falter while she desperately tried to focus on batting him away and keeping him at a distance. 

It was if the darkness and chill of the night had seeped into her skin, her mind, her very soul. 

Over the communicator she heard Naruto and Sasuke’s own struggles intensify. She could hardly peep to see it for herself though. Such was her predicament. Naruto was bawling about the shield girl seeing through his surprise attack and Sasuke was dodging more gusts of air palm after his own surprise moves from behind had failed. 

What the hell is going on?

Suddenly, she realised that her best plans were useless and they would lose. She had always said that knowledge grants victory and that still held true tonight. 

The issue? Their enemies had all the knowledge. Her team was outclassed. 

It was in this moment, as she struggled to keep Neji at bay, while worrying about her team and pathetically trying to come up with some new tactic that Sakura made her final error. She didn’t move in time to avoid the massive whirlwind of power that eventually slammed into her with great power, knocking her several meters back. All of the air had left her lungs and more importantly, every ounce of power, mobility and strength from her body.

The last thing she remembered before the flash thundering in her mind, was Neji looming over her and a voice mixed with static saying “kill her,” before he struck.

“Good bye, Haruno!”

Even Sasuke couldn’t have seen this coming. 

Kagutsuchi, Kurama and Haruno were losing. 

His plan, though effective for some time, was now useless. How the hell could that girl have anticipated his fireballs returning minutes later to attack her from behind was beyond him. He’d made sure that they were soundless and poured all of his strength into his flamethrowers from the front. 

Regardless of how she knew, she knew, and in an instant turned around dispatched his flames before her partner jumped in front of her with a shield already up. 

“Kagutsuchi!” Naruto yelled. He was holding his ribs as he staggered towards Sasuke. “My plan didn’t work. She saw through my rear assault and ran into me with a shiel.. ugh!”

Naruto had collapsed near his feet before he could finish. He was conscious but seemed to be more comfortable kneeling instead of standing upright. 

“The White Sun sees all.” The smaller girl chuckled, her tone one of triumph and ridicule. “Hinata oneesama, now let’s kill them!”

“Ah... Hanabi...” The taller girl stuttered out. I was glaringly obvious that she was conflicted and the weaker of the two in terms of her resolve.

“Now! He told us to!” The smaller girl, Hanabi, screamed. It was clear that their teamwork wasn’t as seamless as Sasuke believed prior and with Sakura keeping the leader at bay Sasuke saw the perfect chance.

“Hmph ok..” Hinata whimpered as she readied her blessing. Light blue flames were now flickering brilliantly as they coated her, black-gloved hands.With that she sped off, desperately trying to make up for her reticence before. 

 It was however too late for Sasuke had already taken his opening. As expected she opted for the offense like she did with Naruto. Clearly they wanted this ended quickly.

Perfect.

“Great Fire Ball!” Sasuke boomed with clasped hands as he belched out a dazzling, sun-like sphere of flame and heat. He was running as he readied his attack, creating a distance between him and Naruto. He was now in the middle of his comrades, seemingly abandoning Naruto as Hinata rushed him. 

Naruto, picking up on his strategy even before he relayed it via their communication channel joined in.

“Suiton: Aqua Pulse!” Kurama shouted. Even kneeling and injured he was adept at wielding his blessing. Sasuke expected no less from his rival.

 Now, joining Sasuke’s great fireball was a mass of glowing, cerulean water of equal size and power.  However the paths of their attacks differed greatly. 

As Hinata was being pushed back by Naruto’s pulsing, blast of water with Hanabi behind her, palms aglow. Sasuke, facing Hanabi steered his fireball into the man’s direction at the very last minute. Just as Sakura was keeping him distracted.

 It was all a bluff. 

Less than a second before Hanabi would have summoned her power to nullify his signature move, Sasuke used all his strength and will power to arch it while he rolled aside. He expected her to send her power his way thus leaving his fireball free to injure the leader. And with her hands alight with power before his feint kicked in, he was sure he had distracted her. 

 He couldn’t see if it hit but he knew it would have helped Sakura. 

Good.

Naruto, still pushing against Hinata’s power with his own, both of them weakening cheered and yelled as he fought. “Go!” 

What Sasuke saw next totally shocked him. 

“I told you we see everything.” Hanabi calmly repeated. Her power was invoked but it was all wrong.  

“Eight Trigrams Vacuum Palm!” 

By the time Sasuke was upright it was too late. A violent whirlwind of veined, streaked, azure energy was smashing into Sakura. A clean hit was made. 

Hanabi had anticipated his move. The Hyuga had won.

“Sakura!” Naruto screamed. He had just summoned a few clones to batter Hinata’s shield and was limping, desperately and forcefully towards Sasuke. 

“Attack Hanabi! Suiton Infinite Clone Assault!” Naruto commanded as dozens more clones jumped the lone girl. “Go Sasuke!”

Naruto was spent. All of his power was being used up in one last ditch attempt. He had never managed that many clones before and from the corner of his eyes Sasuke could see him panting, lying on the ground and intently looking at his now, two, opponents. 

“No!” Sasuke cried, his voice blazing through the otherwise still night. His greatest fear was realised. As he dashed off, forgetting Hanabi and ignoring Naruto’s cry thoughts of loneliness and despair seeped into his fragile mind. It was happening again. It was just like when his parents died. Just like when Itachi died. 

No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

The man was drawing closer, looming over Sakura. He was going to kill her at this point. Sasuke knew he had to hurry. 

“Fire Style: Phoenix Flower!” He roared and immediately bolts of vermilion flames launched into the man. Sasuke had summoned his attack mid-dash and was closing in on the leader.

 I can make it. I’ll make it.

The fire would slow him down it had to. Naruto was assuring him that the girls were distracted and low on power. He himself groaned out his words over the communication channels but Sasuke trusted his friend and he only needed a few seconds. His plan was going to work. Sasuke Uchiha would not fail. He would protect those precious to him. 

I can make it. Almost. 

“Yes!” Sasuke whispered to himself. Neji was focused on Sakura. He’d get hit for sure.  

“Didn’t you learn anything tonight?” Neji asked smugly. He was still bending towards Sakura, facing her when he spoke. Sasuke was now within ear shot and picked up on his words. 

“Gentle fist.”

What had happened next would be remembered as one of the darkest moments of Sasuke’s life. He had vaguely remembered Neji keeping his stance and bending to Sakura with his left arm outstretched while his right arm extended and his palm met Sasuke’s attack, freezing it mid air.

 He had not turned at all. 

As he rendered Sasuke’s power useless his free palm had made contact with Sakura’s chest. 

He killed her.

“No!”

Sasuke had lost her, just like Itachi. 

No.

This was when his memory got choppy. 

 “Sakura!”

“Sakura!”

Both him and Naruto wailed. They were however too late. 

Sasuke could feel the despair stabbing, prodding, overwhelming his mind, his very soul as he collapsed. 

Failure.

You lost another.

Failure.

You don’t deserve her.

You don’t deserve anyone. 

It was unbearable and in that instant, with tears staining his covered face, Sasuke felt a darkness rage within him. A fire, a new power taking hold and easing his suffering. His Amaterasu’s Black God Flames, which he still had problems controlling, had been invoked on its own. 

As he lay on the ground, the inky stain of his power manifested. Flames seemingly woven from shadow leaked out of his frame and stained the road with its power. The cold night air was violently blown away as the intensity of the flame’s heat, of Sasuke’s rage and despair, took hold. 

From a ring of obsidian fire, like black spider webs his power branched out, clawing through the surroundings as it spread into a sea of pure, black, power. In the back of his mind he could hear the girls screaming for Neji, the leader he realised, but he didn’t care.

Naruto was yelling his name, his real name as opposed to his codename. He was rushing to him with a limp but again Sasuke didn’t care. All he cared about was gone. 

“Aaaah!” He exploded. With scarlet irises he held total dominion over his fire and now his only order was “destroy.” Destroy the road. Destroy the buildings. Destroy his enemies. 

All of the pain of loss that was returning to him, the regret, not only for what happened tonight but for how he treated Sakura before, not loving her as she deserved.

I’m sorry Sakura. 

Sakura I love you...

 Everything was poured into Sasuke’s blackened flames, flames that now stretched up like crooked fingers, clawing at the night as he stoked and empowered them with his despair and hate. 

“You!” Sasuke scowled. His voice was ice cold and his eyes locked on to Neji. The Hyuga was struggling to freeze black flames around him in place. He had now backed away from Sakura and seemed to be inching to his comrades. 

Without warning Sasuke’s arms branched out and several tendrils of thick flames the color of black licorice, bloomed from the sea of fire at his feet. Each vein of black fire, twisted and whirled as they raced towards the man.

 All Sasuke wanted to do was kill him. 

Die. 

You hurt her.

 Die!

“Die!”

“Sasuke stop it!” Naruto screamed while grabbing on to Sasuke from behind. He had somehow made his way to Sasuke without getting consumed by fire. His arms were now locked around Sasuke’s neck. 

“Ugh! Stop it! Sasuke stop!”

“No! Get off!” Sasuke was shrieking now, writhing in Naruto’s arms as they both struggled on the ground. “I have to kill him Naruto! I have to...oof!”

The punch came out of nowhere and it took Sasuke a few moments to realise that Naruto had socked him into the asphalt. “Fucking...!”

“I said stop!” Naruto yelled. He was face to face with Sasuke now with pools of tears shimmering in his ocean-blue eyes. “Now who’s rushing in like an idiot?”

“We have to get Sakura! Do you want to burn her body!” 

His words hit Sasuke even more violently than his blows. 

 Sakura. Her body.

“Neji nii san!” Hinata called moments later, but Sasuke didn’t care. Racing towards Sakura he called forth all of his remaining strength and tried as hard as he could to calm himself and control his emotions and with it, his power. 

The girls had managed to get to Neji and were now floating up in an orb of light: Hinata’s power. Despite his initial anger, Sasuke failed to stop them. His first priority was now Sakura, after all.

“Sakura!”

Sakura. My love...

And that was when he collapsed. His only memory was someone, Naruto he guessed, grabbing him and speaking to him.

“Please. Please stop.”

#Sakura Haruno #sakura uchiha #sasuke uchiha #sasusaku #myfic

[crashdevlin]

Something More- Part Four

Author’s Note: *THERE IS NO WIFE-HATE HERE! I <3 Danneel Ackles. (it’s completely understandable how she acts)* This is a sequel to Open. READ THAT FIRST!  Something More Masterlist

Summary: Reader is a no-name actor who has been lucky enough to land a role on her favorite show and a part in an anthology of Marvel Cinematic Shorts. Her star is on the rise, but the man who’s made her his mistress isn’t the only one noticing it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Story Warnings: Open Marriage, mistress, breakups, angst, anger, jealousy, things get REALLY bad between Jensen and y/n…

Chapter Warnings:  18+ HERE BE SEX, DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! fingering, Dom/Sub relationship, Tom is Dom, slight choking, controlling behavior (cause Tom is Dom), mentions of depression and depressive drinking, 

The drive was much easier with Tom in the car, ratty black tee and threadbare jeans making him look ever so comfortable in the passenger seat. We spent the entire ride talking about family, about what he needed to expect from mine, from Connie, from Nova. Then we sang along with my Spotify playlist. Then his.

We pulled into the driveway of my parents’ house and I took a deep breath. “Are you all right?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “It's just… you know, last time I brought a guy home, it was Nate… and they hated him from the get.”

“Are you afraid they're going to hate me?”

“I'm sure they won't, but if they did… I would have to listen to them. Because Nate was such a disaster, right, that I could have avoided if I had just listened to them.”

“But Nate and Nova forced growth in you, catalyzed change. As did Jensen.”

I looked down. I hadn't seen Jensen, and had tried to keep him from my mind, since I dropped his key off at the set. At set was determined to be the safest place to see him. He'd taken the key without a word and I'd just nodded as I turned and walked away.

“Don't mention him to them. None of them know what was going on. Well, my mom accused me of having an emotional affair with him, because she noticed he called me every night after he got done shooting… which I guess isn’t completely wrong based on how he acted after I met you… but according to them, I haven’t had anybody since Nate, so…” I pushed the car door open and stepped out, Tom following as I walked toward the door, which slung open to reveal Nova. “Supernova!” I yelled, dropping to my knees so that she could run to me and jump into my arms.

“Mommy!” She screamed, knocking me over with the force of her jump. “I missed you!”

“Oh, I missed you, too, baby!” I stood, my arms wrapped around her, and turned to Tom. “Nova, this is Mommy's friend, Tom. Remember how I told you about him?”

“Yeah, he's your boyfriend.” Nova said, forcing a chuckle from Tom.

“She's very smart.”

“Yeah, well, I was a genius before I got dumbed down by laziness and depression. I mentioned I was reading and understanding Shakespeare at her age, right?”

“Well, Midsummer Night's Dream isn't exactly that hard to follow, is it?”

“Hey! Don't make me dump you when you came all this way to meet my parents.” I joked, before grabbing his hand and pulling him into the house. “Hey, y'all, I'm home!”

“Y/n!” My mom greeted, hugging me and Nova at the same time.

“This is Tom.” I reached up and patted his shoulder.

“Mrs. Y/l/n, it's an unabashed pleasure to meet you. Your daughter is a shining light of intelligence and beauty.”

The moment my mother fell in love with Tom was showcased by her blush. Okay, so nothing to worry about. “You really go for the tall ones, don't'cha?” My dad said as he entered the living room.

“Be nice. At least this one's a gentleman.” Mom scolded.

“In the streets, anyway.” I muttered, under my breath.

“So, you met on set?” My mom asked, ushering Tom to sit on the couch.

“You know we did.” I rolled my eyes. “Go ahead, Tom. You like telling this story so much.”

“Shall I alter it for your parents’ benefit?”

“Nah. They know I’m a dirty old woman. I’m sure they’d believe you if you told them I gave it up on the second date.” I said, walking up the stairs with Nova on my hip.

“I assumed that was something unique to our relationship.” I heard Tom muse.

“Oh, definitely. She’s generally just a dirty old lady in her writings.” My dad responded. I dropped Nova to her feet on the top step and ran back down to the living room.

“Tom doesn’t need to know about that, yet!”

Tom smiled up at me. “Your fanfictions? I know about them. Someone sent a link to your story about Loki to me the night I sang with you.”

“And you still want me? You don’t think I’m a weirdo?”

“Incredibly articulate and grammatically pleasing with a good grasp on the characterizations of Loki and Thor… I quite enjoyed it.”

I gaped at him for a minute. “You… you read it? Nobody else ever… I mean, you liked it?”

“It was very good. You seem incredibly concerned with maintaining the canon of the MCU while bringing in just enough information from the comic books to flesh out the story and remedy the perceived faults in the timeline.”

“I… thank you, Tom. That means a lot.”

“I’d love to read more of your writing sometime.” His eyes sparkled at me from across the room and I laughed, loudly.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. Most of my stuff is Supernatural and a lot of it is reader-inserts for female readers, so…”

“You could let him read the first five chapters of your murder mystery.” Dad suggested.

“Oh, a murder mystery? Do you have it readily available?” Tom asked.

I blushed. “I guess I can get it for you.”

He followed me up to my bedroom and shut the door behind him. He smiled as he looked around the walls. “Well, the decor hasn’t been updated in quite a while, has it?”

“You know I didn’t expect to have to come back to live with my parents. The divorce just… took away my options. Didn’t want to spring for new decor when I couldn’t even afford my own place.” I pointed at the Green Day posters. “And Green Day rocks, so fuck you.”

He chuckled, his trademark ‘he-he-he’, eyes roaming down my body. He reached behind him and locked the door. “If you insist.” He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me backward onto my king bed, the one piece of furniture I fought to keep in the divorce. It was just a box spring and a mattress settled on the ground. When I was fat, I hated the sound of a bed frame groaning under my weight and I just never bought one after I lost the weight.

“Tom, we can’t.”

“Of course we can. The door’s locked. I can be quiet. Can’t you?”

“Yeah, but my parents are right downstairs and they, literally, just met you. Is this the first impression you want to give them?” I whispered as he pushed me onto the bed and covered my body with his.

“I’d think they’d want you with someone who can take care of all of your needs.” He responded, running his hands down my sides. “Besides, you said they know you're a dirty woman.”

“Yeah, but that's more metaph-fuck!” I whispered as his hand slipped into the front of my pants, long fingers easily finding and rubbing at my clit.

“I know you can be quieter than that, darling.” He whispered in my ear before starting to nibble and suck at my neck. “You don't really want me to stop, do you?”

“Yes… no.” I buried my hand in his hair and held him at the spot on my neck he usually doesn't give enough time to. “Fuck, right there.” He pulled my jeans down my legs, sliding down my body with them, biting at the inside of my thigh as he went. As I tried to hold in my moans, my eyes fell on another one of my posters: one with three men and ‘Join The Hunt’ on it. “Tom, stop.” I pulled his hair and pointed at the poster. “Jensen’s watching me.”

Tom scoffed and stood, ripping the poster from the wall. “Shouldn’t still have your ex-lover on your wall, anyway.” He grumbled at me since I was obviously offended by his treatment of my stuff.

“Yeah, but I’ve had that poster for years and you just-”

“Quiet.” He demanded, his voice low and resolute as his fingers hooked in my underwear and he pulled them down.

“Bossy.” I responded, breathlessly, as he sunk two fingers into me with no fanfare.

As he started to work his fingers in and out of me, he moved up my body and wrapped the fingers of his left hand around my neck, just hard enough to put pressure but not enough to hinder my breathing. “Sometimes, y/n, you seem like you need to be told what to do. I’m just giving you what you need.”

“Tom, I-”

His hand tightened, just slightly. “I said, ‘quiet’.” His voice made me shiver.

I nodded. I wasn’t sure what else to do. Sure, Tom was always passionate, especially in bed, and he’d always kind of controlled the situation, but this was different. This was Tom easing us into a Dom/sub relationship, which wasn’t something I’d ever wanted.

“If you’re good, y/n, if you keep quiet… I’ll let you cum. Do you want to cum?” He asked, after he’d been working me for about ten minutes. I nodded. “Words, darling. You can speak when I ask something of you.”

“Please.” I whined, and it kind of amazed me that I fell into that role so easily, following directions and eager to please.

He chuckled, letting his thumb just barely sweep across my clit. “‘Please’, what?”

“Please, make me cum.”

“Add a ‘sir’ to that sentence for good measure, Dear.”

“Please, make me cum, sir.” I breathed out.

“Go on, then.” He pressed his thumb down firmly and I saw stars. My body went rigid and I twitched and spasmed around his fingers, but I didn’t make noise. I was quiet. “Well, look. She doesn’t like being told what to do, but she’s very good at following directions. Get dressed. I’m going to wash my hands.”

I was leaning against the wall next to the door when he exited the bathroom. “What the hell was that?” I whispered.

“Something I thought we’d both enjoy. I was right, wasn’t I?”

“You can’t just spring Dom shit on a woman. What if I was a Dom?”

He chuckled. “You’re not.”

“That’s rude. I could be.”

“I’ll give it to you that you might be a switch if the circumstances were right, but you aren’t Dom, darling.” He cupped my cheek and smiled. “You, my dear, sweet y/n, were made to kneel.”

“Don’t Loki at me, you jerk.”

“Why not?” He pushed me harder into the wall. “Because we both know what it does to you?” I bit my lip and looked up into his eyes. He smirked. “See? Submissive.”

I pushed him back away from me, feeling irritated. “Oh, shut it.”

He chuckled. “Don’t feel bad. You come by it honestly. Your mum’s one, too.”

“Excuse me? How could you possibly know that?” Okay, he wasn’t wrong. I’ve known my parents were D/s since I found the ball-gag and paddle in their closet, but it baffled me that he figured it out so quick.

“Her choker, which says ‘Doll’, I believe. Don’t worry. I won’t make you wear one.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Tom. You know I wouldn’t wear anything I didn’t want to.”

“But you’d want to if I gave it to you, wouldn’t you?” He smiled. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I know that. Fine, but… we have to have a talk about what I’m okay with… establish safe words and whatnot.”

“Tonight. For now, I’d like to take you and Nova to lunch.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd been home, chilling with Tom and Nova and my parents, for a few weeks when a fan sent me a link on Twitter to a tumblr post titled 'A theory that's gonna get me a lot of hate: Jensen Ackles cheated on his wife.'

I clung to the word 'theory' as I started to read.

'I know people are gonna give me shit about this and I kinda feel like a tin-hat by saying it, but I think it's different because it seems like the tin-hats want what they're saying to be true and I hope I'm wrong. But let's check the receipts, okay?

A year and a few months ago, y/f/n y/l/n joined the show. An incredibly attractive young actress who is a documented Jensen stan (About 24:30 on this video, where she talks about almost passing out the first time she met him). That is the story of a woman who'd sell her soul to a demon for a single night with the man she's describing, but somehow they ended up friends?

Okay. We might be able to chalk that up to Jensen's welcoming nature, I guess, but it's kinda weird that Jared and Jensen don't hang out with their other friends like they did with y/n. Even with misha, we don't get a lot of pictures of them hanging out off-set or away from conventions. She partied with them, hung out on set even on days she didn’t need to be there, ate lunch or dinner with them every freaking day, ran lines in Jensen's trailer (this video where she talks about running lines). I'm gonna call this 'The Buttering-up' stage. Jensen knew she had terrible self-esteem (about 34:10 into this video) and he had to get her comfy around him before he came onto her, or she'd never believe it.

I think it probably started right before or right after JaxCon, 'cause that's when she moved into his apartment in Vancouver. (this clip from SeaCon). Come on! They were roommates! (cue tumblr echo: They were roommates!) and over the next eight months we were treated to pictures like this: Standing way too close together to be innocent, inappropriate skin contact, is that his hand on her ass while they're singing 'Hotel California'? I think it is! Is that his hand on her thigh in this steakhouse in Vancouver? Looks like it, to me. Oh, and this scene from the season 13 blu-ray extras. Check the background. I can't be the only one who sees how sexually aggressive that stance is. That's a stance that screams, 'I'm gonna fuck you 'til you can't walk straight'. If this were a sexual harassment seminar, that'd be the 'what not to do' with your way younger coworker who idolizes you and whom you have the power to get fired. This stance is a 'Me Too Movement' no-no.

Eight months of that shit, then nothing. Since AtlCon, since y/n's birthday, they've all but ignored each other. No fun back-and-forths on Twitter, no lunches where they sit too close together, no singing together at Saturday Night Special... hell, she's been put down as 'Friday/Saturday only' for the next several cons and she was seen loading all of her stuff up into a storage pod a couple weeks after her birthday. Their 'friendship' seems to be dead.

So, what happened? Tom Hiddleston happened. I know y/n says they're just friends, but she sang that duet with him, and you could totally tell there was attraction there. And not a half an hour later, several volunteers and vendors take to Twitter to say y/n and Jensen were fighting. One said he heard Jensen say, "I love you. You know that." Then, she forgoes her normal Reba or Heart song to sing Sugarland's 'Stay' for the SNS. For those that don't know, that's a song about the other woman ending an affair because she deserves more out of life. Coincidence? Maybe.

Maybe this is all bullshit and my brain's making patterns where there are none. But maybe Jensen's a human being who doesn't get to see his wife very often and he did something stupid. Maybe y/n was just as lonely, if not more so (I mean, she has been divorced for years and has said that she hasn't had so much as a boyfriend since her divorce). Maybe she couldn't say no to Jensen fucking Ackles, because who the fuck could? Maybe they had an affair that ended when she met Tom Hiddleston. Maybe that's why it seems like they haven't spoken in two months.

Or maybe they're still good friends and her work with Marvel is keeping her too busy to hang. Maybe they were never as good of friends as they made it seem. Maybe I’m just completely wrong about all of this, but look at it. It makes sense.

I read over it, looked at all of the pictures, my heart pounding in my chest. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I sent the link to Jared with a half dozen exclamation points. Twenty minutes of pacing in my parents’ kitchen later, Jared called. “That’s crazy.”

“That’s all you’ve got to say to me? ‘That’s crazy’?”

Jared chuckled in my ear. “Y/n, she’s got nothin’ but fuckin’ theories. She has no evidence. All of her pictures are blurry. It’s conjecture.”

“But she’s right! How could she be so fucking right?”

“‘Cause some of our fans are really fucking smart, y/n, and they’ve got active and creative imaginations. I mean, you’ve read the fanfictions… you’ve written the fanfictions. Jensen says not to worry about it.”

I bit my lip and sighed, thinking about Jensen’s reaction to it. “How is he?” I couldn’t help but ask.

There was a moment of silence before he sighed. “He misses you. He seems kinda depressed.” I took a deep breath to stave off the feeling of guilt. “He’s drinking a lot… and for a guy who owns a fucking brewery, a lot is… a lot.”

“You have to stop him, Jare. You need to-”

“Don’t act like I’m not the one here trying to help him, y/n. I am. I have been trying to help him, but he’s… he’s been resistant. Which, you know, isn’t your fault, but-”

“I know you’re there for him, Jared, it’s just… maybe he needs a break. Maybe you could talk to Dabb for him. Maybe they could give him a few weeks. Or maybe...” I rolled my eyes. “You know how he gets when he doesn’t have any stress relief. He probably just needs to get laid. Help him find a new one.”

“A new you?”

“Yeah. A new mistress. Someone pretty.” I looked down. “Prettier than me. Pretty like Danneel.”

“It's not that easy, y/n. He can't just find someone to replace you. Do you realize how long it took to find someone he was attracted to that his wife approved of? Someone who would work to keep it under wraps, who'd freak out if a fan started rumors? You were a fuckin’ unicorn for him. There’s not gonna be another you.” I shook my head. That really wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “And, look, I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I understand why you had to leave, but… you’re irreplaceable and Jensen’s just gonna have to deal with it.”

“Yeah. Okay. Look, I gotta go. If Jensen’s not worried about it… if you think I shouldn’t be worried, then I won’t worry. Give my love to Gen and the kids.”

“Hey.” Jared’s voice made me stall my hang-up procedure.

“Yeah?”

“I miss you, too, ya know? You should call me more often.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I will. And you’ll see me in a few weeks. I got a few shooting days before my Marvel press tour, and after that I’m gonna be back in VanCity.”

“Can’t wait to see ya, y/n.”

“Try to get Jensen okay before I get there. Please?”

“I’m tryin’.”

“All right. See ya, Jare.”

“See ya.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, I walked into the house after having made a trip to the Wal-mart up the street. "Us Weekly thinks I'm stalking you." I said, making a beeline for the table, where Tom sat with a cup of tea and his newest script. I dropped the Walmart bags on the table and took the seat next to him.

"Oh, do they?"

"Yeah. Apparently, we're always at the same places because I'm obsessed with you and you're too polite to tell me to fuck off."

"Well, they're half right. You are obsessed with me." He smirked as he set his script down and picked up the teacup. "We wouldn't have this problem if you'd let me make the announcement."

I shook my head. "I told you, Tom, your fans scare me. Besides, both of our last relationships were spectacular failures. This way, if something goes wrong, we don't have to deal with-"

"What could go wrong?"

"You could walk." I said, looking away from him.

"You think I'm going to leave you, like Nate did." He said, setting the teacup on the table and looking across at me.

I felt small under his gaze and swallowed. "Like every other person I've ever dated." I stood and grabbed the bags. "If we don't tell anybody that we're dating, then I don't have to deal with the pity when it ends. I don't have to be the woman who chased away Tom Hiddleston."

There was a moment of silence before he picked up his script again. "I understand.” He said, in a voice that said he didn’t understand.

“Tom.”

“You have a parent-teacher conference to attend, don’t you?” He reminded me, coldly.

“Yeah.” I leaned forward. “Are you mad at me?”

His eyes flashed to mine. “You’d know if your master were mad, wouldn’t you, Dear?” He asked, voice low, using my sub name. Exactly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Then, go to your meeting.” He ordered. I nodded, standing. “Do not touch your ex-husband.”

“Yes, sir.” I wasn’t planning to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I turned my phone back on after the parent-teacher conference, my Twitter app had so many notifications it just said ‘99+’. Facebook Mentions was the same. The source? A status update to Tom's seldom-updated Facebook page. My mouth went dry as I read his words.

   '6 months ago saw a rewrite to the Marvel Cinematic Shorts Anthology script, which brought a new minor character. Kevin Feige knew who he wanted in the role before the script was even done being altered; a relatively unknown actress with a single acting credit to her name- y/f/n y/l/n. I was immediately drawn to the woman and asked her for drinks before we'd finished in Hair and Makeup the morning I met her. I'd fallen in love before the week was out. Y/n is a private woman, not used to being so in the public eye, so I acceded to her request for discretion, portraying myself as her friend whenever someone might be looking. I tried to convince her several times that we should go public over the past 2 months and she dismissed each attempt. This morning I discovered the reason. She's expecting I will leave. She doesn't want anyone profiting on her heartbreak or to give them a reason to judge or, worse, pity her. But I'm not planning to leave. I have no desire to be another on her short list of past relationships. I've resisted the urge to shout the truth of my heart from the rooftops, but no longer. I'm in love with this sweet Southern woman and leaving her is not an option for my heart.'

Accompanying the status was a picture Tom took in his room at the Ritz; me, in just panties and his ratty black t-shirt (which came to my mid-thigh), looking out the bedroom window at the lights of downtown Atlanta. It was one of his favorite pictures of me, which he'd taken the Sunday after ATLcon.

I didn't go through too many of the comments, but the few I looked at were positive notes congratulating Tom on his happiness. A few said, "Who wouldn't want the world to know they were dating Tom?" and then came the SPN Family with, "She's a divorced Mom who probably doesn't want the media to descend upon her private life like the vultures they are. Also, she probably doesn't feel like she deserves him." and links to con videos where I talk about being fat, depressed, having low self-esteem and the toxic relationship I had with Nate.

When I switched to Twitter, the story was different. Most of the mentions were something along the lines of '@taylorswift13 have u heard about @twhiddleston and @y/l/n_y/n?' Taylor responded with, 'Uh, excuse me, but #whothehellisy/l/n_y/n?' The Swifties ran with the hashtag and 'whothehellisy/l/n_y/n' was trending by the time I got to Twitter. I responded with '@taylorswift13 Big Fan since 'Tim McGraw'. I'm an actor no one's heard of. If i catch the meaning behind your tag, you want to know 1/2' then I replied to it. 'How an absolute nobody ended up with a man who used to be yours. Honestly, I'm just as lost as you are. #sonotworthy. 2/2'

I was hoping that a modest and non-confrontational response was the best way to go. I got in my car and drove home, seething. When I walked into the house, I slammed the door behind me. Tom walked into the living room as I dropped my purse and jacket on the couch. He was dressed in my favorite dark grey suit and had his hair the way I like. Trying to minimize my anger through looking like a damn dream. "I'm so sorry." He said.

"You just flipped my life on its end and all you have to say to me is 'sorry'?"

"I understand how livid you must be, y/n, but-"

"'Livid' isn't even a strong enough word, Tom, but I'm so ticked off that I can't think of a stronger one! My name is trending on Twitter, I've had more Mentions in the past hour than I have since joining the site, your fans are probably plotting my death as we speak, a picture that you took in an intimate setting is now forever on the internet and Taylor Swift followed me just so that she could DM me. She's delightful, by the way, wants to have drinks next time I'm in Nashville. Oh, and there wasn't any kind of upset at the White House or a police shooting or terror attack today, so guess what the late night talk shows are gonna be monloguein' 'bout? Thank God you posted that status early enough for them to get in on this!"

He sighed. "I suppose it was a very dramatic and public way to go about it, but it was best to get it done, get it out of the way and move on. I’m just trying to do what’s best for you. Sometimes, you need that. Dear.” The word made me want to slip into that sub persona, but I fought it. He doesn’t get to do the voice and look at me with those stupid blue eyes and then everything’s okay. “We'll be a hot topic for a few weeks and then, people won't care until there's a ring on your finger."

"Don't talk about getting married when I'm still so angry with you!" I paced in front of him, angrily. "You completely disregarded my wishes. We talked about it for months and I never wanted people to know, what would make you-"

He grabbed my arm as I paced, stopping me in front of him. "I couldn't stand it, anymore. I love you and I can't pretend I don't, any longer. I want people to ask me 'Why her?' so I can tell them every single thing I adore about you. I want to fly you and Nova to London for a long weekend and hold the hands of my two favorite girls as we walk down Oxford Street and I buy you whatever your heart desires. I couldn't keep this to myself, anymore, especially after finding out that you only wanted it secret so that it'd be easier for me to leave you." He ran his hands down my arms. "I'm not leaving."

"Fuck." I looked up into his eyes. "You suck."

He smiled. "You love me."

"You better be glad I do. I wouldn't tolerate this shit if I didn't."

"I'm ecstatic to be recipient of your love." He said, leaning down to kiss me. I pulled away and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. "What are you doing?"

"I'm setting the DVR to record Conan, Colbert, Fallon, Kimmel and Corden. They're gonna be talking about me and I wanna see what they say."

"You don't need to-"

I put my hand up as he spoke. "I deserve to know, Tom. Don't argue with me on this."

"All right. Once you've set that up, will you please come have a cuppa with me?"

"You can make me a cup of vanilla chamomile with honey. I'll be in there in a minute."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kimmel had poked fun at me, like I'd assumed he would. I'm a witch, so I must've cast a spell on him, according to the first Jimmy. Fallon was a bit nicer, mostly just questioning who the heck I am. Colbert said he liked a mystery and was excited that I was part of the MCU Cinematic Shorts promotional tour coming through next week. Conan was more interested in Taylor's hashtag and my humble response, what I must've said in the DMs to get her to retract her dismissive attitude.

But Corden, oh James fucking Corden... Were I not already a fan, his mono would have made me one. "World War III didn't start today, North Korea hasn't bombed us, yet, and there weren't any resignations from the White House, so we get to discuss something far more important than any of that: Tom Hiddleston and his new girlfriend." The audience laughed. "Now, you might have noticed that the hashtag 'whothehellisy/l/n_y/n' was trending on Twitter most of the day and that was in response to Tom Hiddleston's declaration of love on Facebook. A lot of people, Tom's ex Taylor Swift included, have never heard of the young woman who's playing opposite him in the next Marvel movie. We at The Late Late Show are on fairly late, though, so we had more time before shooting to look into the question of 'who the hell is y/l/n y/n?'. Y/l/n_y/n is the Twitter handle of this woman, y/f/n y/l/n." He held up a picture of me, a headshot that I had taken by Stardust & Melancholy. "She's 29 years old, a divorced single mother who has only two acting credits on her Internet Movie Database page. She has a small but loyal fanbase made up of people who watch the show she was on: Supernatural. She's spoken, at length, about her marriage and her poor self esteem and she's just..." He dropped the picture to the stage.

"I don't have jokes. Y/f/n is so certain that Tom is going to leave her that she didn't want people to even know that she was dating him. She's certain that she's not good enough, not perfect enough, and that's why he told the world but I've been the chubby kid on this playground we call 'Hollywood' and I have doubted many good things that happened to me because this society has told me that good things would never happen to me. Miss y/l/n has captured the attention of one of Britain's best, a man so at home in a Shakespearean tragedy that I thought he actually was King Henry when I met him. You deserve the good, Miss y/l/n. You deserve the happiness. And I deserve an invite to the wedding."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Tom asked, cuddling into my back wrapping his arms around me.

"No, but you do know that there's going to be paparazzi here in a couple days, right? Like, all over the place."

"Yes. Perhaps we should get one of the rentals on the beach. Better security."

"We'd have to drive Nova to school in the morning."

"I think it'd be better."

"Yeah, but I think it'd be a waste. You want a condo? Research, do it right. Get a good one. I mean, I'm going to Vancouver in two days to shoot, then we're going on the press tour for the movie. We've got time to find a good condo, maybe on the Island, maybe Destin. There's some good places in Navarre and Bluewater. Gulf Breeze. Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked as he rolled on top of me and stared down at me.

"I love you." He said, simply.

"I love you, too." I responded.

"You're making plans. A place that's ours, here."

"And in London." I whispered. "I know that's where you'd prefer. Your theatres are there."

"But Nate would never allow you to move Nova across the Atlantic."

"Hence, a condo here and a place in London. We'll just have to figure it out as we go along."

"I'd like nothing more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom and I went to the airport together. He was flying back to London, I was flying to Vancouver. We’d meet in New York for our Late Show appearance in a week. He handed me a box when we got to the airport. I opened it to reveal a bracelet, a simple thick band made of leather with ‘TOM’S’ stamped into it. “You can wear it upside-down, if you want. As long as you know what it means.” I stared down at it for a moment and he plucked it out of the box. “I told you I wouldn’t make you wear a choker, Dear, but I want you to remember… while you’re away from me… who you belong to.”

“You think, ‘cause I’m away from you…”

“I think you’re going to be in the same building as Jensen and I want you to have a reminder on your wrist of who you are. My Dear. Mine.” His long fingers attached the leather band upside-down on my wrist. “Don’t take it off unless you have to for a scene and if you do have to remove it, you put it right back on afterward. Do you understand?”

I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” He whispered, pushing his hand into my hair and pulling me into a deep kiss. I could hear camera shutters across the way but I tried to ignore it. That was going to be a part of my life for the rest of my career and relationship. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Call me when you land?”

“Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vancouver seemed like a different place when I got there. It was like I was a visitor in my own home. People were staring at me, I felt uncomfortable, I just wanted to go back to where it was safe in Tom’s arms.

Jared rushed to Hair and Makeup when he heard I was on the lot. “Hey! You’re here!”

His happy face and warm eyes washed away some of my discomfort. “Yeah. A couple days of Second Unit stuff before I go on promo tour for Marvel.”

“Well, it’s good to have you back, even for a couple days.” He smirked. “So, that Facebook post, huh?”

I rolled my eyes, picking at the metal fastener on my bracelet. “He thought it was the best thing to do.”

“But obviously, you don’t agree.” Jared said, dropping into the empty chair next to me.

“Well, I don’t always make the best decisions, you know. Tom is better at that stuff.”

“I don’t know. I thought you were doing pretty fuckin’ good with decisions over the last couple years. I mean, you were making your life better.”

“Also making it worse… and certain other peoples’ lives.” I shrugged. “Sometimes I just need to have someone help me figure out what to do.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Jared seemed skeptical of my words. Well, they were actually Tom’s words, but whatever. “Hey, you should come to dinner with me tonight. You’re only in town for a couple days. I haven’t gotten to see you in a couple months. We gotta catch up.”

I nodded. “Okay. As long as… as long as it’s just the two of us.”

“Uh, yeah. Jensen’ll understand.” Jared said, standing. “Gotta go. I’ll text when I’m ready to get food.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was actually a very, very late drink and some bar grub at Black Bear Pub. “So, what’s he like, huh?”

“Tom?”

“Yeah, Tom. He, like, fuckin’ swept in and stole you away so he’s gotta be really fuckin’ amazing, right?”

“He didn’t steal me away, J-pad. Come on.”

“Kinda did, y/n. And I’m not even talking about him stealing you from Jensen. I’m talking… how much time have you spent with the Wayward Women lately? How much time have you spent with anyone other than Tom?”

I shrugged. “You remember how the honeymoon phase goes.”

“Well, I miss you. Kim and Bri and Rob and Rich, they miss you, too.”

“They see me more than you do.”

“They say you’re not really there when you’re there.”

I picked at the bracelet again. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind, you know. Between what happened with Jensen and fighting Nate for custody and trying to hide my relationship and recently dealing with the aftermath of his Facebook bullshit… I’ve just got a lot going on.” I picked up my drink and took a sip.

Jared watched my face for a few moments. “But you are happy, though… right?”

I smiled. “Yeah. I am. He’s a great guy. He’s incredibly intelligent, attractive, and nice. He wants… everything for me. He’s helping me with my career. He’s helping me get out of my parents’ house. I mean…” I looked down, rubbing my fingers over the bracelet. “It’s not just about what he’s doing for me. He makes me feel like everything’s gonna be okay, like I’m gonna be okay. He’s this incredibly calming force. He makes me feel safe just by being around me. Everything’s controlled with him. Even the chaos is controlled chaos.”

Jared nodded. “Okay. Long as you’re happy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I got to the hotel in New York, Tom greeted me in the lobby. Cameras went off outside the door as he wrapped his arms around me, but they weren’t allowed in the building. “I’ve already checked us in. Let’s go up to the room.”

“Okay.”

He picked up my bag and we headed to the elevators. “So, how was Vancouver?”

“It was good. It was weird, but good.”

“And did you see any of your old friends?” His tone was clipped. He was trying to sound conversational, but he was definitely asking if I’d seen Jensen and he was already teetering on upset at the thought that I might have.

“Just Jared. He took me to get a drink.” I hit the call button for the elevator and turned to look up at him. “Jensen was shooting on location with Samantha this week so he was easy to avoid.”

Tom smiled, brightly. “And how are you liking your bracelet?” He asked, taking my hand in his and sliding the sleeve of my jacket down my arm. He smiled to see it still on my wrist. “Did you have to take it off, at all?”

“Yeah. For work. Tara wears rose quartz beads on her wrist. I smoothed it out and tucked it in my bra, though, when I couldn’t wear it. Figured it still served its purpose of reminding me if it were next to my heart.”

“And you put it right back on your wrist as soon as you were done?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting out of the back of the Town Car with Tom's hand in mine was new and it was nice until one of the women in the crowd outside of Ed Sullivan Theater with Tom's face on her t-shirt shouted out that 'the piggy should just up and die!'. Tom wrapped his arms around me and refused to sign anything for anyone in the crowd. I heard from security a few minutes later that they had to break up a fight because the woman was being assaulted for causing everyone else to lose their interaction with Tom. Tom was soothing me when we entered the green room. Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackey stopped talking when we walked in. "Sebastian! Anthony! Good to see you!"

"Don't think we didn't notice you hijacked our press tour with your Facebook Romeo bullshit." Mackey said, sitting up to grasp Tom's hand.

"If he's Romeo, that makes me Juliet. I don't wanna be Juliet. She's a whiny little teenager. Can I be Mercutio?"

"Only if I can be Tybalt." Sebastian answered, reaching his hand out to shake mine.

"You wanna kill me, already? We just met." I joked.

"Hey!" Anthony slapped Sebastian's shoulder. "I thought we were reserving judgment, man. That is not your 'reserving judgment' face."

"What? She's funny."

"That means a lot, coming from you. I am a big fan."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely. I mean, I watched 'I, Tonya' and I give zero fucks about Tonya Harding. Also, Political Animals, even though it caused fights between me and my mom." I turned to Mackey. "And, of course, 'Detroit' was amazing!"

"You saw it?"

"Oh, yeah. It was super informative. No one ever thought to explain to me why the Detroit riots happened."

"Well, if it gets folks talking..."

"Yeah, definitely. ‘course, it's harder to talk to some folks than others. My mom is one of those folks who thinks that just because she didn't realize there was a race issue when she was growing up in Compton in the 70s, that means it didn't exist."

"Oh, so she didn't know there was a race issue 'cause she's a bigot?" Anthony concluded.

I nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. Two California-raised conservatives who voted for McCain and Trump ended up raising a trio of Liberal-leaning Independents who voted for Obama and Clinton. They're so confused."

"Must be a hard household to live in." Sebastian commented.

"Definitely. One I still live in, unfortunately. Had to move back after the divorce ‘cause I didn’t have any money and now, just haven't had the time since I got the money."

"We're working on that." Tom cut in, with a sigh.

"Tom gets so uncomfortable when my mom and I start in on each other about politics." I said, with a smile. "He's so non-confrontational about things like that."

"Yeah, he's British, what do you expect?" Sebastian said.

"I don't really get that. You know the Brits kinda ruled the world through conquest and confrontation for hundreds of years, right?"

"Oh, she's pullin' out history!" Mackey responded.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but once the Queen gave up power to Parliament, that's when the whole super-polite, non-confrontational thing got its legs. I, however, know that there are confrontational Brits. I’ve had a bunch of women spewing hate at me since Tom’s little announcement."

"Wow." Sebastian said.

"Yeah, Tom’s fans are not… not happy with me. Anyway..." I leaned against Tom and he wrapped his arms around me. "I know Colbert is gonna want us to talk about us but I will redirect the conversation as fast as possible."

"Sounds good." Anthony said, nodding.

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