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boxwinebaddie · 2 months

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Hi Uncle Nina! What kind of movies do Ravenstan and Jerseykyle like to watch? ^^

OOOOOOOH! so as with everything, i Definitely think jersey is a snob. movies are no exception. also he does not call movies 'movies', he 100% is annoying and pretentious as fuck and uses 'film' or 'cinema'. also speaking of being pretentious, annoying and the word 'cinema', i think ravesey's dynamic is super funny for a lot of reasons but in this case, it's funny to me bc when style watches movies together, kyle says shit like 'y'know i like the plot progression of the film, but i'm not a big fan of the cinema topography."

— and stan trying to be big brain is like "ya! i also hate the cinnamontophography." <3 skdhsldsk bless him and kyle is abt to correct him bc ohhh my fucking god, but lowkey he tried his best and that was very cute, so kyle just kisses him on the cheek, squeezes his shoulder, stifles a laugh and is like "well, i guess you're the expert, cinnamon boy." <3 jersey stop being Sweet and Lovely!!!

anyways, jersey is giving me the energy of those kids in elementary school that adults say have an 'old soul' and likes really complex abstract movies, foreign films in black and white that play at some tiny theater for $5 on fridays, which, kyle is obviously a homebody and hates other people, but when he needs air or is feeling briefly zesty/willing to endure human beings enough to see a movie ( which, granted, it's def just him and the old ass man/annoying indie college student that run the place shooting the shit in there ), he will...make the trip out there and buy a pack of skittles and a sparkling ice ( okay, i had an anon say that kyle probably drinks those sparkling ice drinks and i fucking cried bc he DEFINETELY does and it's def the black cherry flavor bc kyle is cherry coded, however he will also accept the raspberry one or the fruit punch in a punch ) and ofc only eat the red skittles, smh.

i do think he still likes all the regular kyle scifi movies/high fantasy movies, stuff with dystopian societies/political uprisings ( him & stan have overlap there and obvi some high fantasy/scifi stuff but kyle has to explain a lot of it, kyle do be mansplaining shit but its okay because stan loves the sound of his voice <3 gay ) specifically things with deep complex lore, movies with puzzles/things that need to be solved, def watched interstellar a couple times and like, donnie darko bc of all the time lore ( that movie does freak him out btw, he was clenching hard the first time he watched it because he thought that the fucking rabbit dude was gonna kill everyone and it was gonna turn into a horror movie which...more on that subject l8r )

and i bet you he says his fav movie is some big brain movie in like swedish, black and white, is all philisophical and pretentious and deep but tbh...? i think jersey's favorite movies are specifically old romance movies like fkn casablanca, gone with the wind type stuff. yes, kyle being a secret romantic boy is very cute to me, i fucking love him so much, he is secretly v sentimental and warm.

if you've seen gossip girl, jersey is a blair waldorf variant

( which, okay sidebar for nina lore but i watched a fuck ton of gossip girl growing up and i had such a fat crush on serena van der woodsen, like not even blake lively, specifically serena van der woodsen like i have mental problems, i would not fumble her, fuck you so much, dan humphrey, serena please ONE CHANCE!!!!!! )

and i think he fucks very heavy with audrey hepburn and her movies, like roman holiday, sabrina, okay my fair lady is so jersey coded bc of his new jersey slaughterhouse accent/its a musical and he is a dork, he does like musicals so much buuuut i think his favorite movie is my favorite movie which is...breakfast at tiffany's. WHICH???

okay, if you think about it is super interesting given stan's previous line of work ( which okay, i know he wasn't really doing anything and just sort of enduring it to be able to sing, but being trapped in that uncomfortable, hypersexual environment and being constantly percieved & being constantly obsessed over. )

he do be skipping over the all the really insensitive shit w/ the overblown racist asian caricature of holly's neighbor ( that man is too loud anyways he's like please shut up, his ears are sensitive...both to sound and just in general, fml there's a nsfw headcannon abt that ) but idk all the romantic stuff is very cute, he likes the cinnamontophography, all of holly's stuff about getting over her fear of commitment, the fashion statements...chef's kiss to him.

i think he also fucks secretly with pride and prejudice like pep!kyle wHERE IS THE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE THEMED MARRIAGE PROPOSAL STAN I'M WAITING!!!! kyle can quote it line for line, i think he likes when they're set in victorian periods like omg i bet you he watched bridgerton and was obsessed lmaooo, all the adpations of emma jane austen movies, atonement...stuff like that. he does make stan watch them with him sometimes and stan is so hopeless his adhd is so bad he needs ACTION also all the shakespeare-y speak stresses him out so bad, he asks so many questions and can't sit still.

he does...sigh, strategically time makeout sessions In The Middle Of Movies when he gets bored, kyle is like stanley marsh that is not going to work...it does...work everytime skdhshds speaking of that nsfw hc, kyle's neck and ears are hella sensitive so if you like drag ur teeth along his ear or start trailing kisses down his neck, his mind goes completely blank, stan does it when kyle's yelling at him about stuff all the time, kyle gets so mad at him later...and i do mean later because he is like i have to do something first ( hint: it's stan, lmao )

SPEAKING OF STAN!!!!! in vein of them being opposites attract kings, stan is naught an old soul ( i mean, in terms of music, he is sorta vintage ) and fucks very heavy with new movies. he really likes actiony stuff, lots of explosions and shit, very loud, very fast-paced. i feel like he likes superhero movies, like part of the stan name is because he was like eight and thought stan lee was a GENIUS. he watched into the spiderverse like...40 times. he has mental problems. stan likes cars, he does like the fast and furious movies, smh.

i think he...Specifically likes horror movies, though? because he is a spooky ooky edgy boy halloween KING? they just scratch an itch in his brain and he is engaged the entire time because there is either constant suspense or crazy amounts of action and running around. KYLE HATES IT, BTW!!!! kyle is a scaredy cat. like he is the scariest motherfucker on planet earth in person, but the silences and shit freak him out so much, he is not good with jump scares, he is behind his hands, in stan's lap, swearing soooo much like stanstanstan what the fuck I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT WAS THE INVISIBLE MAN, I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF, HOLY SHIT DID THAT JUST mOVE??? stan is deeply amused and thinks it is adorable, so he does subject kyle to stan spooky scary movie hour sometimes just to hold him...gaaaaay! idk which one is his favorite i have to get back to you on that. if you have suggestions like me know haha i am also...a scaredy cat.

a couple last things on stan and horror movies though is, i feel like that might be a contreversial take because stan doesn't like blood, but i think the scenarios being fake and because he works with so much fake blood doing whore-ror crimson dawn music videos, he just knows what it looks like and can tell hella quick. if he knows it's not real, it does not freak him out. i think he only thing he doesn't like is animals being killed...like people are fine??? help??? oh my god??? but not dogs or anything. he will cry and cower.

i also think that...weirdly...it combats his ptsd? specfifically final girl type movies where someone lives and kills the antagonist in a horror movie because it's very...relevant to him and reminds him that you can survive something horrible and be okay. and again, even when it's a total wipeout and not a happy ending, the catharsis of being scared and surprised is relaxing to him and knowing scary things can happen and be fake/everyday is not war or hell is good for him. he does avoid specifically triggering things with farms or fire? unless there is something where setting something on fire as a final girl/boy saves the town or everyone because...again...relevant and healing.

idk...complicated, but we get my gist, yeah?

i think they do a movie night once a week or something and they alternate choosing...they also complain bc their movie tastes are so different but love conquers all lmao, and they can always watch lotr and star wars and stuff. I THINK WHEN THEY'RE BEING CUTE THEY WATCH STUDIO GHIBLI MOVIES AND STUFF??? SO CUTE OMG. speaking of cartoons and anime adjacent things...stan do be making kyle watch stanime...kyle is in hell...jersey is like why are there so many boobs, why are they screaming, why are there 1000 episodes, he does also strategically plan makeout sessions ( i am so sorry it doesn't always work, stans boyfail cringe energy is so strong it's so awful, kyle is like literally on top of him and is like ;) if you turn the tv off, i can turn something else on and stan is like baby, you are blocking the epic battle scene, he's about to charge up his attack!!! KHDLSK I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN KYLE IS GONNA KILL HIM )

they do watch a lot of tv shows together, kyle's comfort television shows are still say yes to the dress and masterchef/gordon ramsey food network cooking competition type stuff — bc i'm watching next level chef, they are also watching next level chef and they scream so much like bRO HE'S GONNA MISS THE PLATFORM WHAT THE FUCK WHAT IS HE DOING!!!! it's so funny

speaking of say yes to the dress tho and stuff like that when kyle comes in all busted up from his bar fight and stan's patching it up, towards the end of that interaction right before they get back together, kyle is like "did you watch the new one?" and stan's like "no. i couldn't watch it without you. & even if i could, i wouldn't bc i don't know, i just didn't want to think about people being in..."

and kyle just takes a deep, steep breath and is like...

"...love."

and stan nods.

fuck my life.

ANYWAYS! there you go!

-uncle nina, butcherer of headcannons

#this was so long i am so sorry i had a lot to say #i hope this makes sense and feels right it felt right to me ig?#it made sense to me? idk idk idk #but no kyle is definetely an old school dramatic romantic movie boy even if he doesnt look like it and will lie & say hes not #it makes his heart warm and his eyes shiny omg #stan initiating makeout sessions when he gets bored is so real oh my god kyle is so weak too hes like Stan Absolutely Not #buuut it works everytime literally every time im not even joking hes like siGGghhh *pause* the netflix 'are u still watching'#no they are not...no they are absolutely not #jersey is def the type to watch those dramatic british victorian romance movies swooning over hands tensing and veins and shit #he is so touchy feely on the low im crying #MEANWHILE STAN IS ROMANCE BOY BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT HE IS MOVING #HE IS SO SLAM WHAM POW WHACK SMACK #people fighting and shit? beating up bad guys? car chases explosions aliens monsters ACTION #hes so with it his eyes also get shiny he gets so excited #kyle does not watch anything he just watches stan get excited abt stuff and stan vice versa im love them #STAN AND HORROR MOVIES IS REAL THO HIM USING IT TO FIGHT HIS PTSD IT MEANS A LOT TO ME IT FEELS RIGHT TO ME #like just overcoming fear and just being constantly engaged bc of the suspense and all the running and stuff but yeah horror movies #specifically when the protagonist lives or says most of their friends or their town and defeats the big evil...good for stan #jersey kyle being baby asf and in stans lap is also v cute to me #it is very cute to stan he is like mi amor its gonna be ok!!!#kyle is like im gonna kill myself its gonna jump out rn okay im ready im ready n HES STILL NOT READY FOR IT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

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iwoulddieforienzo · 6 months

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Kind of late to say this but I personally find the “Annabeth can’t be bLACK, what about her BlOnDe GiRl MoMeNtS??” controversy to be kind of funny because it isn’t even TRUE.

Granted, I haven’t read the books in a while but I cannot recall a single instance where Annabeth was treated like she was stupid. None of the main or supporting cast ever did her the disservice of thinking she was airheaded; if anything, from the moment anyone meets her, they’re like “oh this girl is smarter than everyone else and SO annoying about it.” A good portion of CHB is blonde, and none of them are ever outright dismissed for being blonde. None. Nada! Most (if not all) of her siblings are blonde!

The ONLY instance I remember this coming up is in one of the original books, when Annabeth was like “people don’t take me seriously because I’m BLONDE”. Despite NO EVIDENCE of this being the case. Her version of “being taken seriously” is “being allowed to go on a quest.” And the reason no one is letting her go on a quest is because she’s literally TWELVE. You are a BABY, MA’AM. More than that, she’s the Camp Baby on account of being there since she was eight. No one “takes you seriously” because you’re the youngest sibling, babe. And also they DO take her seriously, btw. They listen to her. she’s allowed to direct the Athena cabin in capture the flag and the chariot race, and just generally has a ton of authority over the Athena cabin that a 12 year old probably shouldn’t have. She might have been the head counselor, I don’t remember. Babygirl you are absolutely being taken seriously what are you TALKING ABOUT.

Maybe at Some Point she might have run into someone who automatically assumed she was dumb because she was blonde but I don’t think we’ve ever seen it happen. Everyone takes her more seriously than Percy Jackson and Jason Grace. Girl.

Again, I haven’t read the books in a while. So I could be wrong. But honestly if I can’t remember it then I can’t imagine it was that important to her overall character.

#baby annabeth is absolutely insufferable and I fucking adore her #she and Meg are the most twelve year old girls to ever #obviously the people complaining about this don’t actually care about annabeth’s blonde struggles and are just being racist #it’s still kind of funny 2 me. the main characters can say anything and you’ll just believe them huh.#I feel like at this point it should be pretty clear that you should take everything a Percy Jackson protagonist says with a grain of salt #(and disregard everything Lester/Apollo says lmao)#snack time #pjo #Annabeth Chase

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franeridan · 1 year

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just finished watching the first two lupin zero episodes and can I just say

#txt #HIGH KEY hoping it'll end like first contact where they just go sike i just made all that up #not cause I don't want this to be how it really went but bc i like it as much as i like every other possibility they ever hinted at #but at the same time if this is how it's gonna be canonically from now on Who Am I to complain!!!!!!!!!!#baby jilu are SO FRIGGIN CUTE #i feel like a mother is this how mothers feel.......#THEY'RE ADORABLE THEIR LITTLE BLOOMING PARTNERSHIP OH BOY #i want a trillion episodes of this #also the way they made it look like an old anime while still keeping the animation quality high?????#absolutely superb I couldn't have asked for anything better #what better way to visually show it's set in the past than making it look like it was MADE in the past #insane #it's the anime version of a movie in which the protagonists pick up their parents' old tapes to go down memory lane #i love it so much I don't know how to put it into word #the WORK that went into it!!!!!#also please jigen being the reason why lupin smokes...... *cries in jilu*#when he lit his cigarette I YELLED it's their thing's origin!!!! sobbing AND weeping i adore them

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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 7 months

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Fic things I will never have enough of/get over:

“Oh no, they’re hot.”

“Great, now there’s two of them.”

See above but with more swearing and feelings of dread and impending doom

BAMFs with swords

Old wise person causing 90% of the chaos

“They’ve never met in canon.” “Actually, they’re dating.”

“They’re mortal enemies.” “Actually, they’re married.”

The keeper of the braincell

Sharing one braincell but they lost it

The cinnamon roll goes feral

Tiny feral child and their supportive, enabling, non-parental background adults

“I’m your problem now”

“Welp, guess I’m a parent now”

Accidental world domination

Competence

Competence kink

Calmly sipping tea while everything behind them is on fire

Trying to be a good, supportive adult but you have no point of reference so you end up giving a sword to a ten-year-old

Time travel

Person A and person B start dating and when they tell everyone persons C-Q are confused because haven’t they been dating for like three years now and persons R-Z thought they were already married

*does something previously thought to be impossible* “What, like it’s hard?”

Platonic besties that will help hide the bodies

Fake dating

Accidental baby acquisition

Accidental baby acquisition but they’re a middle-aged to senior adult with like five thirty-something-year-olds that are now their children

Crossovers that shouldn’t work but do

“I need help” “I’ll grab the shovel” “Not that kind of help”

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

Well-written non-canon pairings for characters that have other firmly established canon pairings. Like, fully alters the entire story line non-canon pairings. But done in a way that feels like a reasonable possible outcome.

A protagonist with a million problems to solve still taking the time to be kind

Forehead kisses

Time traveller going apeshit and fixing everything preferably in as Mary-Sue a way as possible

OP character who is oblivious to the fact that they are indeed OP

Character who spouts off increasingly concerning details of their life while not realizing everyone else’s growing concern or the fact that they’re probably about to be mother-henned for the next decade

Character who chooses a parental figure and informs said parental figure of this new development with little to no forewarning

Strong, stoic character is actually the most chaotic one there

Everything in the chaotic portion of the alignment chart

Getting back at a bad guy in as petty a way as possible

Time travel with two or more time travellers who don’t realize they’re not the only time traveller

The guy everyone thinks is going to beat up all the bad guys sitting back and watching the person previously believed to be as strong as an uncooked noodle absolutely demolish them

Any situation where characters play hot potato with a position of great power. “Congrats, you’re king now.” “Not if you can’t catch me, I’m not.”

Unexpected language skills

Unexpected skills in general, particularly if they’re as niche as hell

Two extremely competent individuals who lose all brain cells when within a close proximity of each other

Fixing problems on accident

Fixing problems on accident while actively trying to cause problems on purpose

Surviving primarily due to spite

#a non comprehensive list #fics #fanfic tropes #ao3 #batman #batfam #and all the other fandoms I end up in #several of which I wake up in not sure how I got there #but then I stay for a little while #and then suddenly I’m invested #I think there are only two or three fandoms I’ve ever purposefully sought out #the other couple dozen just kinda happened

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urkelnomics · 1 year

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Homelander is so funny to me, cause I saw so many sigma grindset patrick-bateman style edits of him saying dramatic stuff to phonk music, and I thought, "oh this guy must be a completely fucking terrifying villain, he must have more power than the sun or some shit" And he is and he does,,, but those edits did not at all prepare me for watching the show. He is a fucking loser. he has an oedipus complex, he is obsessed with drinking breast milk, he spent a scene scrolling through a compilation of memes about himself, while clenching his fist and whimpering, he's shorter than the normal guy protagonist, he elects himself head of Vought and then gets scared because he doesn't understand a single thing being said at a board meeting, for the first season his arch-nemesis is a fucking baby. And somehow, this guy has tapped into the manosphere gym-bro community, and become the pretty princess poor little meow meow for the tumblrinas, all while being an absolute fucking loser

#the boys #the boys tv #the boys amazon #homelander #hughie campbell #if i existed in universe i would be dead in the next five minutes #billy butcher #soldier boy

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fanficsat12am · 2 years

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how the brothers and datables reacting to mc who giggles and blushes when reading romance books I Lucifer & Mammon

Request from @dionyjoons: Hello, I was wondering if you could do the brothers (and maybe solomon and simeon) reacting to mc who keeps giggling and blushing when reading romance books please :)

AN: I'M ALIVE ⚰️ School has legitimately been weighing me down, and my workaholic body relished in it too much. Here ya go anon<33 You've been waiting for too long for this one

📜 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃!! 📜 Leviathan, Satan & Asmo Beelzebub & Belphegor Solomon & Simeon

Lucifer

He knew you recently took an interest in a recently published romance book. Due to Diavolo’s recommendation, he’d finished reading it a few days ago. Much to his chagrin, he’ll admit that the main protagonist’s love interest is very charming. The aforementioned person’s pride in their work as well as their work driven attitude made him understand why you loved the book so much. He found it so adorable when he heard you giggle the first time. It was like the sound of a newborn baby’s laughter. He’d make sure you always read near his vicinity. While he’s doing the day’s work, the silence would be broken by a faint sound of your giggles. He’d stop what he was doing for a few seconds just to relish and appreciate the fleeting moment, and continue on with a small smile on his face. Despite him finishing the book, he still takes you up on your offer in reading some chapters to him.

“Enjoying the book, My Love?”

“Absolutely! He just received a call from the main character balling their eyes out and canceled all his meetings just to comfort MC. You want me to read it to you?”

“Please do”

Mammon

He was having an internal dilemma. On one hand, he loved hearing your little giggles bouncing off the walls of HOL. On the other hand, how dare another person get that reaction from you. He’s your first man and he’s the only one who’s supposed to make you smile like that. He’s heard you talk about the book a few times, and he’d hate to admit it but he had some tough competition. I mean come on, getting spoiled with lavish gifts by a guy who has a heart of gold? That’s his thing—at least he’s man enough to tell you about his debt. He’d always try to one up the guy at every chance. No one steals his human’s heart except for him, he’d happily steal it over and over again just so that guy would never get the chance to.

“What’d he do this time?”

“Just bought a small shop for MC’s dream business”

“…Ya won this round, but doncha think for a second that this is the last”

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kismets-barista · 4 months

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Hold onto your Stetson, @ohposhers; have I got some personal HickDory lore for you 😎💜🌟🫧

Excuse the insanity for those who don't feel compelled towards these two

SO!

Hickory and JD met a few good years before the events of the World Tour when Dory was traveling to find Lonesome Flats, got heatstroke and passed out in the desert. Wakes up to Hickory shadowed in the flickering light of a campfire beneath a canopy of the brightest stars he'd seen since the Neverglades, but it wouldn't be until QUITE a few months later until they really started developing crushes against each other. (Cowboy under the stars, you'd think he'd fall right then and there, right? 🌟)

Why was Hickory already in Lonesome Flats, you might ask? Where was Dickory?

In a glue trap, I say in response. Hickory came from Yodelsberg (is there a canonical name for this?) for international study and to learn about new music. He fell in love with country because yodeling and country music are actually quite gorgeous together. She Taught Me to Yodel, anyone?

Delta Dawn obviously didn't take to Dory showing up and around the town, but after some convincing by Hickory and lots of proving himself (plus a vulture attack that resulted in John Dory saving the very young niece of Delta Dawn- Clampers-) he 'earned' a place there and began to work around town.

It was weird for him.

He'd never quite settled down, until then.

(Now, the specific timeline, yearly I mean is a little muddled because I'm still crafting this, but I'll put them out about three years, now.)

John Dory was still living in Lonesome Flats, and he'd started a relationship with Hickory. They loved each other, as my cohort in crime @protagonist-art (CHECK OUT THEIR ART I LOVE THEM SM MUAH) has Hickory tell John when we get write them, "More than the moon loves the ocean." As surely as the tide pulls in and out, so the lovers return to each other.

So Via, what does Hickory think about BroZone?

Oh, my sweet star.

He doesn't know.

After returning to the devastated Troll Tree, John Dory lost a piece of his heart in the damaged pod they used to live in. It was the first time he went grey, and the memories of his brothers started shifting from what was, to what would never be again. He couldn't find it within himself to talk about them, and has his secrets.

But so does Hickory.

Girl wdym stop being so mysterious.

Heh. I know. It's just a glimpse into my dark mind /ref. Anyways, Hickory never told John Dory he was a Yodeler troll. (Another piece of lore that Quizzy and I worked on together and I think it's brilliant.)

Huh? Aren't they in a long-term relationship? Won't this cause issues later on if they don't share these things with each other?

Oh, they love every aspect of each other too much for their bond to truly be broken.

And yet.

One morning, years after just living and loving, John Dory wakes up with a massive headache and nausea.

"Maybe it's that horse that kicked me yesterday, could've gotten me harder than we both thought."

"Lemme check for a knot, Darlin'."

No knots, but there was an egg.

🌟 (Here I'll say that I'm massively in love with the headcanon that trolls conceive through true love- it isn't quite necessary for them to physically do anything unless they want to. Just them, wholeheartedly trusting and putting everything into their relationship and pouring their heart out to their partner.)

They were absolutely ECSTATIC, and rightfully terrified in their own ways. Neither of them were looking for children but not against it, and after resting for a few days they began to plan. A nursery in the house, baby books with millions of names scattered on the coffee table, toys and cute little baby clothes for when the little one hatched.

Wanna know two of the names John Dory had in mind? Rhonda and Dolly.

They were ecstatic until the night John Dory woke up absolutely ill and with a pit in his stomach.

They lost the egg, and it was the second time John Dory went grey in his life.

A week after this had happened, John Dory left a bundled lock of his hair at Hickory's nightstand and did what he knows how to do all too well. He ran.

Hickory never went too far out of Lonesome Flats in the hopes that John Dory would come back. He couldn't imagine what would happen if his love came back and didn't find him there.

The events of World Tour come about, Hickory meets Branch, and travels for the first time since John Dory left.

John Dory continued to travel, until the events of Band Together.

But don't worry, dear readers, for as surely as the tides come in, so will the lovers meet again. 🌟

Aaaand BOOM! That's it! 💜 I've got lore behind the names Rhonda and Dolly as well, and am SO down to answer any questions about them that anyone has. For you, Posh, thank you for asking and helping me to share a story I've been working on, and for everyone else that read this, thank you kindly! I hope that everyone who made it this far has quite a lovely day, or if you didn't, have a lovely day anyways!

Remember to take your meds, drink water, eat something, and stretch!

💜🌟🫧

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stevenose · 8 months

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under you (18+)

day 29/31 of the august writing challenge

today’s word: capture

contains: steve x reader; reader with a vagina and breasts; reader wears a skirt/tights; no gendered language (such as good girl, etc) used; primal play!; enthusiastic consent; sex outdoors; safeword system (only green used); kink exploration; absolute gentleman steve; kink negotiation; a little bit of pain play; self degradation on reader’s part; squirting; cumming inside; aftercare <3

a/n: this is long and probably not good. i’ve never written something like this before so please forgive me if it’s bad. love and light xox

You didn’t think Steve noticed. But the thing about Steve is that he always notices things with you.

He first noticed how flustered you’d get when he’d play-wrestle with you. Pinning you beneath his body while you squirmed and whined. How disappointed you seemed when he’d give you a kiss and then roll off of you to hold you instead. How warm your body was against his, how you’d keep adjusting, pressing your ass against his dick when his arms would wrap around you.

Then he noticed how you sometimes like to be just out of reach. Giggling and stepping away at the right time, ducking out of his embrace or a kiss. How you made him work for it, running away, albeit lazily - how you’d moan when he finally caught you and kissed you fiercely, holding you tight so you didn’t run away again.

And now, he’s noticing how you’re squirming in your seat beside him on the couch. There’s a horror movie playing on his TV in front of you. He wanted a cute date night. To hold you when you get scared, arm around you, whispering reassurance in your ear.

“Don’t worry, baby. I could kick that guy’s ass.”

He really does think you’re scared at first. The way your breath hitches, how you fidget with your fingers. But your eyes are glued to the movie, and not once do you recoil or scoff while the killer chases his next victim. If anything, you seem incredibly interested, where before you’d been making jokes at the corniness and special effects. Steve wraps his arm around you as intended, but he doesn’t speak just yet, curious with your reaction.

You seem to not even notice that he’s staring. Simply watching the screen, your eyes wide, lips slightly parted. You watch like that all the way up to the villain pinning the screaming protagonist down and lifts his knife, and then you blink and look away, suddenly disinterested. Which is a little weird, Steve thinks. That’s usually the part that people can’t look away from.

So it happens again later in the movie - a chase scene, someone getting pinned. You have the same reaction this time, except you’re a little more active. Shifting in your seat, crossing your legs. The moment your thighs squeeze together it clicks for Steve, who is equally shocked and amused. His pretty little thing? Getting off to something like this?

“You like that, don’t you?” he whispers, leaning towards your ear, and it’s truly like you can’t hear him. Your eyes still glued to the movie while a little fight ensues between the characters. “Honey?”

“Yeah?” you ask, looking over at him finally. Your chest heaves and you lick your lips, looking a little dazed.

Steve smiles. “Do you like that?”

Your eyes widen. “Do I like what?”

One of his big hands rests on your thigh and he smiles a little wider when they clench again. “You like gettin’ chased and pinned down, huh?”

You laugh abruptly and take his hand off of your thigh, quick to uncross your legs. “You’re insane,” you scoff, and Steve can’t help but to press further.

“Then why are you so worked up, huh? You can’t hide that from me. I can see how turned on you are.”

“I’m just - I’m just freaked out.”

Steve hums. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay, smartass. What do you think, then?”

He raises his brows. “What I think,” he says lowly, leaning in towards you, “is that you want a big, strong man to chase you, pin you down, and fuck you.”

You balk at him, eyes frantically searching his face to see if he’s serious or not. If you’re really caught or not. “You’re way off base.”

“So you’re telling me you don’t like it when I have to chase you through the living room to get a kiss? Or when I pin you down like this?”

He lunges forward, pressing your back down against the couch and climbing on top of you. This time, you actually moan, even though he hasn’t done anything to you yet. “Fuck, Steve, stop-“ But just as quickly as he moves away, you grab him and bring him back, face and chest alight with embarrassment and arousal.

“So you do like this?” he asks, much more serious this time as he pins your hands above your head.

“I like it too much,” you breathe. “I know it’s fucked up.”

He’s repulsed by you saying that. Sure, he’s a pretty vanilla guy. But he likes servicing more than anything. If you told him you wanted him to chase you through the woods and fuck you when he captures you, he will. Easy.

So he does, a week later.

It’s around dusk and you’re standing at the edge of his property, facing the woods. You meticulously planned this out, safe word and all. You’re giddy, bouncing on your feet while Steve does stretches - he hasn’t played basketball in a hot minute.

“I think I might really outrun you,” you say excitedly.

“Not in those shoes,” he counters, eyes flicking towards your mary janes. “I know that’s the point, but couldn’t you have worn some sneakers?”

“I’m playing the part.” You’re still bouncing like you’ll take off any second, smiling. You’re wearing a white blouse and a skirt, too, with tights on underneath. Easy access, you’d explained, because your fuck in the woods will have to be relatively quick considering the exhibitionism of it all.

Steve stands, black Levis gripping onto his skin, a simple navy t-shirt on. He’s not wearing underwear and, yes, he already regrets it. He gives you a once over. You’re definitely pretty enough to chase, something he doesn’t want to let slip through his fingers.

“You ready?”

You take a deep breath and nod, turning back around to face the woods. Steve’s cock is already getting hard. This isn’t exactly his thing, but your excitement, paired with that skin tight skirt, certainly does something for him.

“I’m giving you a ten second head start,” he says smoothly. You already know this, but it’s part of the game. “I’ll count out loud so you can hear. And you’d better run, baby. Once I catch you, you’re mine.”

He pauses for dramatic effect. The tension in the air is thick, your body ready to move at any moment.

“One.”

He starts his chase after ten. He has to admit that he feels like a creep, stalking you in the woods, but he’s a little bit enthralled, too. You’re probably already dripping for him. There’s a reward at the end of this. Two, actually. He’ll get to cum, sure, but more importantly, you’ll get to.

You must not be running very fast because he’s already gaining on you, can see your white shirt through gaps in the trees. And now he feels elated. With you in sight, it’s a little fun. He picks up his pace, dodging broken branches and boulders. He waits to snag you until you’re at a good spot, with more leaves on the ground that rocks.

Steve tackles you, pinning your body beneath his, his chest against your back. “Where do you think you’re goin’?” he asks, grinding into your ass, and then, “You okay?”

You nod and he exhales, relieved. You pant under him, writhing, trying your absolute damndest to get out from under him. You moan, nothing but excited, and Steve’s hand glides up your leg and under your skirt. He squeezes your ass and chuckles, leaning down to press his lips against your ear. “Go on, baby, tire yourself out.”

“Fuck you,” you pant, playful. “You’re slower than I thought you’d be.”

You cry out when he spanks you. “Who’s on top of who, huh?”

He sits on your legs, keeping them spread wide and you pinned. His hands push your skirt up and he tears your tights at the seam, exposing your ass and pussy. You still squirm as his fingers trail along your skin until finally reaching your slit.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, involuntarily. You’re so wet down here. He’s positively never felt a wetter pussy in his life. And now he can really lean into it, his own arousal spiking, jeans tenting. “You really get off on this, huh? Needed this all along, didn’t you? Your big strong boyfriend to pin you down and take what’s his?”

“Steve,” you moan, hips arching back.

“Tell me, baby. How much you want me to fuck you like this.”

“Please!”

He spanks you again, cock kicking while he watches your ass jiggle. Even your thighs are soaked. “Please what?”

You push your ass back as best as you can again, arching further. “Please fuck me.”

He hums and uses his thumbs to part your slit, nearly busting at the sight of your wet, clenching hole. “Gotta stretch you out first,” he mumbles, thumbs moving inward. “Don’t want it to hurt, do we, honey?”

Steve sinks a thumb inside of you. You moan loudly, fingernails digging into the dirt below. He only lets the tip rest inside of you, not yet daring to go any further. He wants to see how desperate he can get you.

“God, please fuck me, Steve,” you moan, trying and failing to push back onto him. “I’m so wet for you, just - just rail me, please!”

Now he’s fishing his cock out of his pants because holy shit. He fists himself, precum dripping from his slit. He’s nearly as sensitive as you are, and watching you flutter around his thumb makes his stomach flip. “You really think you can take it? Without any prep? Your hole’s so tiny, honey, I’d break you in two.”

“Then do it,” you whimper. “It hurts without you.”

He finally gives in, letting his thumb sink all the way inside of you. You groan gutturally over what Steve would consider to be nothing. His thumb is no where near the size of his cock.

“Think I might break your brain when I finally fuck you,” he taunts, letting his thumb glide in and out of you.

“Do it,” you repeat, voice strained. “I - I mean it.”

“You’re serious? What color are you?”

“Green,” you plead. “So goddamn green, Steve, I trust you. I trust you so much, just need to feel you.”

He hesitates. “It might hurt, baby.”

“I want it to. Fuck, I w-wanna be your mindless little wh-whore so bad, want you to t-take me, please Stevie? I belong to you.”

Steve’s head spins. He knew you’d be turned on, but this is almost unreal. You’re soaking past his thumb and down onto his wrist. “Tell you what, okay? I’m gonna put two fingers inside of you and get you a little more stretched out, and then I’ll do whatever you want.”

You nod. “Please please please, I feel so empty.”

He replaces his thumb with his index finger first, then quickly adds his middle finger. You gasp and groan under him, writhing in pleasure. Steve’s writhing a little, too, cock aching without his hand on it. You’re going to feel so divine, he’s sure of it. He pumps his fingers in and out a few times, before pulling them out and replacing them with the tip of his cock.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, leaning forward. He lets up on your legs and pins you with his body instead, propped up on his elbow. His other hand works his cock up and down your folds, relishing in the wet warmth of your pussy. “This pussy’s so pretty, baby. You doing okay?”

You nod, though you’re so horny that it takes you a minute to find words. “I’d be better if you fu-“

He almost busts at the noise you make. A low, long whine, ripped from your throat as he fucks his cock into you slowly. He wishes he could see your face - eyes rolled back, mouth agape - while he’s stretching you out. He moves slow, stopping periodically to get you used to him and only continuing when your ass juts backwards to take more. You’re boneless when he’s finally fully inside of you, balls pressed against your aching clit.

“There we go,” he coos. “How’s it feel?”

It takes you another moment. “You’re so fucking big,” you whine, on the verge of tears. “So good.”

Steve tries to give you another minute, but you’re quick to start fucking back onto him instead. As best as you can, at least, given your hips are pressed to the ground. Steve wraps his arm around your neck, putting you in a headlock, before pulling out and slamming back into you.

“Shit!” you cry, one hand gripping onto his arm. “Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit….”

“Breathe, baby,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your ear. As he slides back out slowly, he mumbles, “Deep breath in for me….”

You do as you’re told, gasping in air.

“Now, out.”

You didn’t need direction - the impact knocks the breath out of your lungs itself. He buries himself, wiggling his hips push entirely into you, until he has no where else to go.

“In.”

You take in a sharp inhale. He pulls back, until the head of his cock stretches your opening.

“Out.”

He slams back in, balls slapping against your clit, a lewd squelch making his cock throb.

“There you go,” Steve urges, fucking you a little faster. “K-keep breathin’, peach.”

You’re crying, wailing, moaning. Stuttering out ‘green!’ when Steve asks if you’re okay. He’s so close already, but he wants to see your face when you cum. He pulls out and sits back, rubbing your back soothingly. “Wanna see you, baby, flip over.”

You’re slow to do it, positively cock drunk, and yet quick to wrap your legs around his waist when you finally get there.

“Hi,” he whispers, leaning forward to kiss you as his cock sinks back inside of you.

“Hi,” you answer when he finally pulls away. “Mmm…my shirt, Steve.”

“‘s it okay?”

You nod. “Rip it.”

So he does, a little earnestly. It takes him a few tries to really get the buttons to pop and expose your tits. He almost forgot you had them. Steve’s quick to put his hands on them, pinching and pulling at your nipples.

“Touch your clit, baby,” he instructs, voice shaking. He fucks you fast, each push in feeling like complete bliss. He’s never been happier to fuck raw. “Wanna see you cum on my cock.”

You tighten around him the moment your fingers touch the sensitive bud, head thrown back, eyes reeling. You feel so good that you can hardly even find the energy and strength to touch yourself. Every stroke sends your body jolting, your cunt gripping Steve so hard you’re nearly pushing him out.

“Can I cum?” you whine, tits bouncing, eyes wet. It’s so dirty. Steve’s cock pulses - he’s close, too.

“Cum,” he gasps. “C-cum and I’ll g-give you my fu-fucking load deep in this little p-pussy, baby, gonna make you so f-full….”

He kisses you to muffle your scream. Your body jerks under him, fingers digging into his arms and then back into the dirt and then into his back all in the span of a few seconds. You writhe, legs tight around him, your hand working fast to keep you cumming. You seem to be getting even wetter, Steve realizes. And then he realizes you’re squirting.

“Oh fuck,” he groans, high pitched and needy. “Fuck baby, oh fuck, honey, I’m gonna cum, gonna cum in this pussy. Shit, I love you, I love you, I l-“

Steve shouts when he cums, eyes rolling back and stomach flexing hard. He pushes in fully, until there’s hit a single inch separating you two, filling you with sticky, hot cum. You moan lowly at the feeling, still euphoric from your own orgasm. You only have half the mind to grab Steve’s shirt and pull him down into a messy kiss.

He collapses on top of you, panting and sweating with you. You both shake, aftershocks making your body jerk. It feels like hours before you can speak, throat raw.

“I’m in love with you.”

Steve laughs. “That good, huh?”

“I’m so goddamn in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

You pet his hair, staring up at the trees. “I really don’t know if I can walk.”

“I’ll help you.”

At home, you sink into a bath together after an initial shower to scrub away any leftover dirt. You’re both sore, knees scraped. The hot water feels like a luxury, Steve’s skin soft against yours. Your eyes fall shut and you relax, though your orgasm has sent you into such a relaxed state of bliss already.

“You okay?” he asks, rubbing your legs. The bath water smells like lavender.

You nod. “We’re going to sleep so well tonight.”

“I’m going to be so sore in the morning.”

“Sure are, old man,” you tease. “Next we have to find some niche thing you really like.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” he says.

“If you did this for me, I’ll do just about anything for you.”

He smiles and sighs, his head resting against the wall behind him. “How about you take over my shifts at Family Video for a year?”

You pinch his shin. “I said just about anything.”

#stevenose posts #ns/fw #steve x reader #steve harrington smut #august23

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maddogofshimano · 7 months

Text

The Boss’s Date Coaching

oh baby it's another Goromi event! this one's a board game with Nishida as our protagonist

the board music was Receive You the Madtype

I thought it was kind of funny that they were squeezing another Goromi event in when her character story and past event already covered............. basically every single moment available in YK1! but that's okay.

because this one doesn't take place in YK1

as a brief aside on pronouns, I’m sticking with she/her for any references to Goromi. the term for boss Nishida uses for her, 親父, is explicitly masculine in the same way that patriarch in english is, but I’m not factoring that in for this translation

I will put a content warning that there's a brief attempted sexual assault in this, it's only a few lines and is resolved very quickly but it is there

summary: It is 2006. Goromi is waiting for Kiryu to arrive at SHINE to help out a hostess so she can (once again) surprise him. Nishida has a date coming up, and in her boredom Goromi decides she'll teach him the secrets of a woman's heart.

[2006] [After Kiryu Kazuma was released from prison….] (Tl note: the first time I completely blew past the fact that this said 2006 and not 2005. But I guess 2006 is technically after Kiryu was released from prison, so.) Goromi: ……Kiryu-chan, you're takin' so long~.

Goromi: Nishida! Are ya absolutely sure ya actually emailed him?

Nishida: Y-Yes! I'm positive I did...

Goromi: Then why ain't he come here? Nishida: Kiryu-san is… a really busy person, so… he must have gotten himself caught up in something…. (tl note: Nishida refers to Kiryu as Kiryu no ojiki, which is literally your uncle who is younger than your dad, and in yakuza terms usually means a patriarch less senior than your own. I'm going with -san for simplicity of showing he's being deferential)

Goromi: ……..Well, a burly guy like Kiryu-chan probably gets tons of invites. Goromi: But I got all this time to kill~. …Nishida, ain't there just nothin' interesting? Nishida: I-I guess so… Goromi: Kaaa~… When there's a girl this cute with nothin' to do, ya oughta be helpin' her kill some time! <phone buzzes> Nishida: …! (tl note: this is literally the first time Nishida has looked not extremely worried)

Goromi: Oh! Is it from Kiryu-chan!?

Nishida: N… No, it wasn't. Goromi: What the hell. Who's it from? Nishida: Umm… well… Goromi: …You're stallin'. Give it here! Nishida: Ah… Goromi: …"I had a lot of fun on our date on Saturday, Rina"… This is… Nishida, did'ya get yourself a girlfriend? (Tl note: it's not……….. it's not YK1 SHINE hostess and known lesbian Rina, right? it's a different Rina……. right???) Nishida: No, it's not that serious…! We just met when I went to a group-dating event the other day… Nishida: Then we emailed a little… and she ended up asking me out on a date… Goromi: Ohh~… Seems like she's into ya. What kinda girl is she? And what do ya think of her? Nishida: Umm… here's a picture from the group dating. Nishida: She's a really sweet, attentive, and kind, and we get along… I think it'd be really great if we ended up dating…

Goromi: ……… Nishida: …Boss? Is something wrong? Is there something strange about the photo? Goromi: …Just shocked. A beautiful lady like her is all but wasted on ya. Nishida: …Y-Yeah, I think so too. I'm not even sure why she ended up contacting me at all… Goromi: ….I got it! This situation calls for me to step in and help ya, yeah? (Tl note: Goromi is using "washi" as her personal pronoun here, which is what Majima usually uses when he's speaking as a boss, or "ore". Goromi usually goes with "watashi" but does use "ore" when Kiryu catches her off-guard) Nishida: Eh? Goromi: To make sure yer date goes well, I'm gonna teach ya all about a woman's heart! Nishida: Eh… Goromi: And I've got tooons of free time right now… aren't ya lucky~! Goromi: Hang tight! This is gonna be "the heart of a woman: lesson 1"! <Goromi leaves, presumably to make slides or get props or something> Nishida: I-……… I have a bad feeling about this… Nishida: I think my boss is just… doing something absurd to me to kill time while waiting for Kiryu-san to show up… (Tl note: lol this time it was actually -san. just gotta be EXTRA formal talking about Kiryu around Goromi, I guess) Nishida: No… it's bad to assume. It's possible that my boss might honestly be trying to help me… Nishida: …She said this was lesson one on a woman's heart… How many lessons is she planning? <scene transition to later> Goromi: …I've come~! And I've brought pleeenty of booze~! (Tl note: Goromi says お・ま・た～！ which I presume is a shortening of お待たせしました as in "sorry to have kept you waiting" but omata on its own is uh. it's vulva. it's vulva and that sort of crotch area. hence my translation of trying to get some kind of weird double entendre there) <sound of a cork popping> Nishida: Wh-Why are you filling that tower of glasses with alcohol… Goromi: I thought I'd show ya how to drink. I brought a buncha different kinds. Goromi: Sake, shochu, wine, whiskey, cocktails, plum brandy, beer, take your pick! Go on, drink whatever ya want! Nishida: A-Alright… Nishida: (…Boss… did say she was going to teach me about the hearts of women… so does that mean this is a test?) Nishida: (In that case… a cocktail is probably bad… that's something a girl would pick, I think…) (tl note: NISHIDA NO DON'T LOSE TO THE TOXIC MASCULINITY) Nishida: …Boss. I'd like a whiskey and cola to drink, please. Goromi: Ohh… Whiskey, huh…? Nishida: Well then… cheers. Nishida: (The way I drink will probably also be judged… the manly way to do it is in one shot…)

<horrible gulping sounds and the glass hitting the table> Nishida: …Thank you! Goromi: Oooh, yer a big drinker, huh? Goromi: Although… did ya notice anythin' strange? Nishida: Eh? Something strange…? Now that you mention it, the taste was a little bit peculiar… <stomach noise> Nishida: My… my stomach's… Wh-What did you put in that, boss!? Goromi: Dumbass! You were so complacent ya didn't even realize that thing was fulla laxatives! Nishida: L-Laxatives!? Why did you.. guhh… Goromi: And now ya know lesson one of how women's hearts work: "I don't want to be with a man who would easily be poisoned to death!" Goromi: If you're a man, ya gotta be cautious of anythin' that gets served to ya, cause ya could get poisoned!

Nishida: Th-That's… unreasonable… Nishida: (…I think my worries were correct… She's just using me for amusement to kill some time…) <stomach gurgling> Nishida: Ughhh… S-Sorry… gotta… bathroom… Goromi: …No can do. If ya wanna go to the bathroom, ya gotta beat up that guy. Nishida: …Eh? <footsteps> Beefy Majima Family Member: …Sorry, Nishida no aniki. Boss says I gotta.

Nishida: Y-You… Goromi: Now, after poisonin' ya, this ruffian's here to snatch your pretty girlfriend! Goromi: Nishda! Endure that stomach ache 'n win! Show Goromi-chan somethin' good! Nishida: Ughuugh… Y-Yes… boss!!!! Beefy Majima Family Member: Well… I hope you'll forgive me, Nishida no aniki. (Tl note: I did shorten that name to "beefy member" and then reconsidered)

<fight happens> <sounds of a toilet flushing> Nishida: Haa… Haa… Just in the nick of time… Goromi: Heh, ya gotta a lotta willpower to avoid havin' an accident like that, huh? Here, drink this so ya don't get dehydrated. Nishida: Ah, some water? Thank you, Boss. <drinking sounds> Nishida: …What the… it's a little bitter…? Boss, what's up with this water-- <Nishida hits the ground> Goromi: Dumbass! I just told ya, don't make it so easy to slip ya sleepin' pills like that! Goromi: …When ya wake up, I'm gonna train ya until ya can identify every kind of poison by taste. Buckle up, buttercup. Nishida: Uugh… uughhh… that's……. impossibleee…. <END PART 1>

[While waiting on Kiryu to finally arrive, Goromi learns of an upcoming date and uses her free time to instruct Nishida on the matters of a woman's heart.] [After drinking poisoned booze, Nishida has learned lesson number one, "girls don't want guys who are easily poisoned".]

Nishida: (Boss… She told me to wait outside for the next lesson on a woman's heart…)

Nishida: (This lesson comes after poisoning… What sort of terrifying part of the female psyche is she going to teach…) Goromi: I've come~ 🎶 (Tl note: yeah. yeah it's the same one. yeah) Nishida: Ah, boss. What's the next lesson going to… be? <Goromi appears with a whole army of goons> Goromi: A woman's heart: lesson 2! "Obviously I like strong men 🎶"! (Tl note: this is probably the same line she says to Kiryu about her type of man, but I'm too lazy to double check OR look up what she exactly said in english)

Goromi: A man's not a real man at all if he ain't tough! Now you're gonna tussle with these guys! Goromi: Smash up these ten opponents, and show a gal what she likes to see in a man! Nishida: No… this is… just the boss's pastime… Nishida: She said this was about a woman's heart… but this is more like training in a battle manga… Goromi: Let's get it rollin'! Get it done nice 'n quick! Goromi: Oi, everyone! No goin' easy just cause it's 10 on 1, I want everyone goin' all out against Nishida! Majima Family Members: Roarrrrrrrr!!!! Nishida: ….Crap… Guess there's no avoiding it…! Nishida: Haa… Haa… (tl note: THIS WASN'T THE OBLIGATORY FIGHT? I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE FIGHT IS THERE ANOTHER??)

<a goon slides in> Nishida: !?

<Nishida gets smacked> Nishida: Guh…! <A new goon slides in> Majima Family Member A: Haa! Nishida: Crap! <Nishida steps away> Nishida: Haa… Haa… Nishida: (When there's this many opponents… while you're busy with one guy, another will circle around behind you…) Nishida: (They're not that strong if I can take them on one by one, but I can't fight them properly when they're in my blind spots…) Nishida: (What the hell do I do…) Nishida: …..! That's it….! Goromi: …Seems like ya figured it out. Goromi: Everyone! What're ya standin' around for! Go beat the shit outta Nishida! Majima Family Member A: Y-Yes! <scene change> Nishida: Yes… right here…

Majima Member A: Oi! It's too cramped to go together! Majima Member B: Shit… this is… too narrow! Nishida: (Yes… This narrow alleyway forces them to come down it one at a time…) Nishida: (Since I don't have to keep watching my back, this negates their numbers advantage in close quarters.) Nishida: …What's wrong, come at me! Otherwise it'll be the boss that's hitting you! Nishida: …Time to go…! Nishida no aniki! Please don't hold this against me!

Majima Member D: Gahh…

Nishida: Haa… Haa… Somehow… I won… Goromi: Ya did it, Nishida! Now ya don't gotta be worried when ya get jumped by a buncha thugs!

Nishida: Um… I think I will still be worried… Goromi: Well, if they really wanted ya dead they woulda done ya in the first time you stumbled… Goromi: Eh, we'll call it good enough this time. Ya passed lesson 2 of a woman's heart, "Obviously I like strong men 🎶" ! Nishida: Th-Thank you very much… Goromi: Now, this will be the final thing I can teach you about a woman's heart… A woman's heart: lesson 3… Are ya ready? Nishida: Y…..Yes. Nishida: (Next is the final one, huh…) Nishida: (I figured that if she's just doing this to kill time, she'd get tired of these sorts of antics… but this is faster than I thought.) Nishida: (But I can't let my guard down. Lessons 1 and 2 were seriously absurd… What on earth will lesson 3 be?) <music changes to the more emotional soft track> Goromi: A question for ya. Right now… what do ya think Goromi-chan wants? (Tl note: I misread it as "what do you think of Goromi-chan" at first and was like, so scared to continue. I was shook by the possibility of Goromi emotional vulnerability momence)

Nishida: …Eh? Goromi: What's wrong? Answer already. I wanna know whatcha think I'm after. Nishida: Eh… Well… Nishida: (What do I say… The number one thing my boss would probably want is to fight with Kiryu-san.) Nishida: (But, that would be way too easy for this quiz… what the hell… what is it…) Goromi: …Figured out your answer? Nishida: ……….. Nishida: ……Sorry, I don't know. Nishida: I thought getting to fight Kiryu-san would be it, but… I'm not confident enough in that to commit to it. Goromi: …Ya got it. "I dunno" is the right answer. Nishida: Eh? Goromi: The final lesson on women's hearts: "Don't presume to know a woman when you're only looking at one side of her".

Goromi: Every woman has her own circumstances. Goromi: A woman who loves sweets can still have days where she wants something spicy, and there are women who will claim to hate what they actually like. (Tl note: .............................................................................hey when this is in direct response to Goromi's number one desire being a fight with Kiryu. there's. hmm.) Goromi: So, don't look at just one aspect of a woman and think ya know everything about her, okay? Goromi: Women are deeply complex, living beings, despite what men think. ...Got it? Nishida: Y-Yes...! I will take your words to heart! Goromi: ...Alright, good. I taught ya about the female psyche, so make good use of it on your date. Nishida: Y... Yes! Goromi: Well then, time to head back to the club. I got a feelin' that Kiryu-chan might be there soon.

<she leaves> Nishida: While the other two were obviously farces... it feels like that last one was surprisingly genuine. Nishida: Guess it makes sense, after she got tired of doing the absurd. But, that doesn't seem quite right... hmmm... Nishida: Still, something to make use of on my date... Nishida: "Don't presume to know a woman when you're only looking at one side of her" is good to keep in mind... Nishida: But "I don't want to be with a man who would easily be poisoned to death!" and "Obviously I like strong men 🎶" are-- Nishida: Maybe not as helpful... <END PART 2>

[I'm skipping the recap lol but today's the day of the date] Rina: Hehe, I thought the same thing during the group date, but talking to you is really easy, Nishida-san...

Rina: I was really nervous to ask you out, but I'm glad I gathered up the courage 🎶 Nishida: Oh, nah... I was worried we wouldn't be that good of a fit, too. Nishida: ........ Rina: ...? What's going on? You keep looking around the perimeter. Do you have a friend here? Nishida: Ah, no... it's nothing. Sorry, it's just nerves. Rina: Ah, no worries then! Really, I thought it was cute, you looked like a baby animal. Nishida: C-Cute...? Is that so... Nishida: (I can't tell her that I'm traumatized from my boss's training, and that I'm looking for a good spot to fight a pack of thugs...) Nishida: (Or that I'm being cautious about drinking the water brought to me in case it's been poisoned...) Nishida: (The boss's lessons on a woman's heart... my body sure remembers them, huh... ha...) Rina: Ah, that's right! Listen to this! I'm not making this up, the other day at the park, I saw a squirrel-- (Tl note: I thought that was just, the end of her sentence at first. she's just REALLY excited about squirrels) <scene transition to outside> Rina: Nishida-san, your recommendation of restaurant was delicious! I'm definitely bringing all my friends there 🎶

Nishida: I'm glad. I like going there because it's fairly cheap while still being delicious. Rina: Cheap and delicious restaurants are the best. I feel like it being cheap makes it taste even better, you know? Nishida: Ah, I get you! It's really a question of mood. This restaurant here is also good. There's this pork fried with ginger and grated daikon on top-- Rina: Hehe, you sure know your eateries Nishida-san. I'll have to rely on you next time I can't decide where to go eat~. Rina: ................So...... What are you doing after this? (tl note: NISHIDA SCORES?) Nishida: Eh? Umm... What am I doing. Maybe... getting drinks? Rina: ...Could we go somewhere to rest a bit? There's a place where we can talk slow and relaxed. (tl note: NISHIDA GETS SCAMMED?) Nishida: Eh? Somewhere to rest and relax? That's... Rina: Hehe... You'll have fun if you go. Come on. <another scene transition> Nishida: This is... the place?

Nishida: (BAR, huh... The hallway to the bathroom would be good to use if I'm outnumbered...) (Tl note: yeah the bar is named. BAR. in english. which is just great for translating) Nishida: (I'm still hung up on my boss's training, it really messed me up... I'm not the protagonist of a battle manga...) Rina: What do you think? I find it very relaxing, and since it's a hole-in-the-wall kind of place there's not crowded so you can really take your time and talk. (Tl note: very funnily hole-in-the-wall is fairly direct, the jpn being 穴場 or "hole place") Nishida: Ahh, you're right, this is a very relaxing place. Rina: Yeah. ...Hmm? Nishida-san, did you perhaps think it was something naughty? (tl note: well I sure did) Nishida: N-No... I-It's nothing like that...! Rina: Hehe, no need to panic. I just said it to make you conscious of it 🎶 (Tl note: struggling with the second sentence here, it's ふふっ、慌てなくてもいいですよ。ちょっと意識させようと思って言いましたし🎶) Nishida: Eh...? Muscular Bartender: ...Are you ready to order?

Rina: For me, a kahlua milk! Nishida: Umm... How about... Barley shochu. (Tl note: 麦の水割り, which probably has a better word for it but that's my best guess) Bartender: ...Alright. Here's your kahlua milk and barley shochu. Rina: Well then, kanpaiii 🎶 Nishida: Ahh, kanpai! (Tl note: Nishida why do you say kanpai in full kanji you fucking dweeb) Nishida: (I keep thinking my boss might emerge from beneath the bar, so I'm worried about this drink being poisoned...) Nishida: (There's no way it's actually poisoned... though... hmm... there's a bitterness...) Rina: ...? Is something wrong, Nishida-san? Nishida: No... it's just, this tastes like the sleeping pills my boss made me take... Bartender: ....! Nishida: Yep... My boss made me take sleeping pills over and over, and this... tastes exactly like those sleeping pills. I don't know why it would be sleeping pills... Rina: IIII have no idea why that would be. Right, bartender? Bartender: ...Sir, we are an upstanding business. We don't take false accusations lightly. Nishida: Ah, no, I didn't even say you put them in there... Nishida: But someone could have put them in there to cause trouble for you, so the police should check the other drinks to be sure Bartender: ....Tch. Oi. <a bunch of thugs jump out> Nishida: !? Bartender: You all, this guy's making up lies about us. Shake him down for some apology money to make up for it. Nishida: No, I'm not accusing you of anything. All I'm saying is a quick confirmation-- Bartender: You all! Get him! Nishida: (They aren't listening... I'm getting the feeling that the sleeping pills weren't in there on accident.) Nishida: (I'm up against 4 opponents. If they surround me I'm done for..... that's it! I just need time.) Nishida: Rina-san! Hide in the bathroom! Rina: Uh... r-right! Bartender: Wait! Do you really want to hide somewhere with no exit? Bartender: ...What's the point...? Is he going to bunker down in the hallway... Nishida: I know there's no way out of this... Only Rina-san will be hiding. Nishida: (This narrow corridor in front of the bathroom, it'll force them to come one at a time. This is my only way to win.) Bartender: ...Heh... You went through all that trouble to run, only to go for a narrow hallway with no way out.

Bartender: You'll regret ever speaking a single false word about my drinks!!!!

Bartender: S-... stupid...

<he hits the ground> Nishida: Haa... Haa... That was close. Nishida: If I didn't make use of those tight quarters, I would have been a goner as soon as they got behind me. Nishida: All thanks to that training my boss gave me on fighting multiple opponents... Nishida: And the fact that I had to drink sleeping pilsl and laxatives so I'd know what they tasted like... that ended up being useful too. <the door opens> Rina: N-Nishida-san... are you okay? ...Eh!? You... beat all of them? Nishida: Yeah... somehow, I managed it. I think we should get out of here before they wake up. Rina: Umm, no... I'm... Nishida: ....? What's wrong? Rina: I-It's... it's nothing... L-Let's go. <back outside> Rina: ...Yeah, I had no idea it was that kind of establishment. I really never thought they would attack you and try to take your money...

Nishida: ...Hey, Rina-san. Earlier, why did you want to stay in the bar? Rina: Eh... th-that's... well... Nishida: ......... Nishida: ............If... If you're... an accomplice to that bar, it would be a good idea to stop doing that. Nishida: If you keep it up... I think you'll end up in a really bad situation some day. Rina: .....That's my choice, isn't it? Nishida: Eh...? Rina: ...Don't start talking like you're my boyfriend after one date! All you are to me is a source of revenue! Nishida: R-...Rina-san? Rina: It was me, I'm working with that bar, I took you there specifically to fuck you over! So? Happy now!? Rina: And now you've ceased to be useful to me. ...Never contact me again. <she leaves> Nishida: R-Rina-san... Nishida: ...I thought she was nice girl, too... Nishida: "Don't presume to know a woman when you're only looking at one side of her", huh. It's exactly like my boss said. Nishida: Boss... There's no way you expected all of this to happen, right...? Nishida: Rina-san went back to the store. I wonder... does she plan on doing the same thing again? Nishida: ............. <END PART 3>

Bartender: Shit... What's with that helmet bastard.... (Tl note: this is when I realized this was for real in 2006 and not a typo or a timeline mistake. which also means that Goromi hostess dates with Kiryu were a recurrent thing)

<Rina enters> Rina: .................. Bartender: So you're back... Why the fuck did you bring such a huge pain in the ass here? Rina: ......I already told you, this is was the last time. I'm done. Erase the photo of Keiko from your phone. (Tl note: name is 恵子 which has multiple readings) Bartender: What was that? Rina: The nude photo you took of Keiko and blackmailed me with! You said you'd erase it if I brought 10 people here! Bartender: Ain't happening. I didn't get any cash from that last one. You gotta do it again. Rina: That's bullshit! You all messed up, not me! Rina: If you try to make me do any more I'm going to the police, so hurry up and delete the photo already! Bartender: You really want your bestie's nude erased, huh. If so... going to the cops is going to be a problem. Bartender: So... <another goon slides in> Rina: !?

Bartender: I'll just have to get a photo of you next, so that doesn't happen. <goon grabs her> Rina: L-Let go...! Bartender: Just some nudity won't be enough for opposing me. We'll make an extra hard video... heheh. Rina: N-.... No-- <the door slams open> Bartender: !? <a punch lands> Strong looking man: Guh...

<he hits the floor> Nishida: ...I heard what you said. Rina-san, you did this all to help your friend.

Rina: N-Nishida-san... Why did you come here? Nishida: "Don't presume to know a woman when you're only looking at one side of her", that's what my boss taught me. Nishida: It was a really horrible feeling, when I thought I had been betrayed by a girl who seemed nice and kind. Rina: ........ Nishida: But, at the same time I had another thought. Fucking me over was just one aspect of you. Nishida: So I came here to see the whole picture and be able to understand it. Nishida: ...I'm glad I believed what my boss taught me. I would have regretted it if I left the situation alone, thinking I understood it. Rina: Nishida-san... Bartender: Heh, I get to see some cheap melodrama. It's real convenient you came back here, shithead.

Bartender: I was careless last time, but it won't happen again. You're going to regret coming back to rescue that woman!!!! Nishida: (This time I won't be able to make use of the bathroom hallway.) Nishida: (So far I've been able to scrape by thanks to my boss's special training...) Nishida: (But I wasn't taught anything for this situation. This will be a test of my own strength!) Nishida: I may not have any help from my boss, but... I will protect Rina-san, with my own power!

Bartender: Fuck... er...

<he hits the floor> Nishida: Haa... Haa... I... won... <Nishida also hits the floor> Rina: N-Nishida-san! <and he's back up> Nishida: ...I'll be fine... Quick, go delete... your friend's photo from his phone, please. Rina: Ah, r-right! <scene transition, police sirens wail> Nishida: ...Sounds like the cops are coming. Rina: Seems so. I'm... going to tell the police everything. I'm not going to run from my punishment. Nishida: You only did it because you were being threatened... I'm sure the punishment won't be that harsh.

Rina: ...Nishida-san. <she hugs him> Nishida: ...!

Rina: ...Thank you. Rina: My boyfriend is going to be mad that I'm saying this, but... you looked really hot... seriously, thank you. (Tl note: ohhhhhhhh I knew this wouldn't work out but RIP Nishida. he never scored) Nishida: Eh... <outside now> Nishida: ...Well, I guess she really has a boyfriend.

Nishida: But, it's fine. It's not like this kind of thing is about dating. Majima Family Member: Oh! Nishida! Are you okay!? I've been worried sick! Nishida: ...Eh? Wh-What? Majima Member: Lately, there's been a lot of nasty sleep-robbery bars. There was this picture of a woman floating around that we're supposed to watch out for... Majima Member: Here, this woman. And someone saw you walking around with her, so I got worried, you know? (Tl note: bisexual rebound time?)

Nishida: This is... Rina-san!? I guess she did say she'd done that a lot, so it makes sense there would be rumors... Majima Member: Hold on... You already knew? Nishida: Ah, yeah... But, she's washed her hands of it all, so could you please stop circulating that photo? Majima Member: ...Well, if you don't want me to, then I guess there's nothing more to be done. Nishida: I'm glad... Um, did that photo possible get shown to our boss? Majima Member: Hm? Ah, yeah he was shown it. About 3 days ago, I think. Nishida: 3 days ago... So all those lessons about a woman's heart from yesterday were... for this. <flashback> Goromi: What kinda girl is she? And what do ya think of her?

Nishida: Umm... here's a picture from the group dating. Nishida: She's a really sweet, attentive, and kind, and we get along... I think it'd be really great if we ended up dating... Goromi: ......... Nishida: ...Boss? Is something wrong? Is there something strange about the photo? Goromi: ...Just shocked. A beautiful lady like her is all but wasted on ya. <flashback over> Nishida: (Now I understand that reaction... Boss must've realized who Rina-san was...) Nishida: (All those lessons about a woman's heart... In the end it was what saved me.) Nishida: (Was... all of that just so... I wouldn't get sleep-robbed...!?) Nishida: ...Do you know where our boss is right now? Majima Member: The boss? Pretty sure she said something about waiting for Kiryu-san at SHINE. Nishida: Thanks. <Nishida walks off> Majima Member: H-Hey. Nishida! (tl note: RIP unnamed Majima Family Member, he never scored)

<now at SHINE> Nishida: Umm... The boss is... there!

Nishida: Boss! Thank you so much! Because I kept all of your lessons in mind, the date today went perfectly! Nishida: Boss... You knew about what Rina-san was up to, didn't you... So you secretly did all that for my sake-- Goromi: ...Ooh, Nishida! Perfect timin'! Nishida: Eh...? Goromi: Kiryu-chan just came to the club! The plan was a massive success! Goromi: That surprised look on Kiryu-chan's face... Fun conversations leading to a fun fight! I had the greatest time!

Nishida: A-Ahh! Is that so! That's really great! Nishida: So anyways boss, about what I was telling you regarding the date... Goromi: Your date? What's that got to do with Kiryu-chan? Nishida: Um... nothing I suppose... Goromi: Then why would I wanna hear about dumb shit like that? Goromi: I'm busy draftin' up a plan for my next fight with Kiryu-chan! Ya better get plannin' right away too!

Nishida: Ah, r... right... Got it. Goromi: Hehe, my blood's already pumpin'! Now, what next to entertain Kiryu-chan~! (Tl note: "blood's already pumping" is 腕が鳴るでえ which is more literally "my arm is ringing/rumbling" or "I'm itching to put my skills to use") <she leaves> Nishida: (...Well, that's fine. No matter what the truth is, I'm certain that it's all thanks to my boss that I'm still alive.) Nishida: (More importantly... I need to properly return the favor.)

Nishida: Boss! Wait up, please! I'll think of something great too! <END>

and then here's all of Nishida's various thoughts on things from the board game:

Kiryu-no-ojiki

A man known as the Dragon of Dojima who is absurdly strong in a fight. He’s my boss’s very favorite. Only as a fighter, though...

Alcohol

Drinking alcohol is a great stress reliever! But you have to be careful not to over do it. You should drink rather than be drunk.

Boss’s High Heels

My boss wore these while working at a cabaret club and turned them into a deadly weapon. Getting kicked by them would surely kill...

SHINE

A cabaret club where my boss occasionally works as a hostess. The store has a good reputation, but the customers my boss serves must have a difficult time...

Boss

My boss. Occasionally my boss puts on a dress and works as a hostess, but there’s never been any complaints. Though, would anyone really push on that...

Butterfly Necktie

The necktie I wear while working as a waiter. It may look like a ribbon, but it’s actually very common in formal settings.

Downtown Chinpira

Is this guy running shakedowns!? Bullying the weak is something only cowards do! Guys like this need to be taught a lesson!

The Majima Family A leading group within the Tojo Clan that's known for its violent conflicts. The family is a group of ruffians, I don't know why I ended up in it...

Majima Family Members

They're a violent and strange bunch, but if you take the time to really talk with them they’re surprisingly pleasant company. Well, they do still look scary...

Kamurocho

Painted in gaudy neon, it’s Japan’s number one entertainment district. The first time I came here, I was shocked at how many people there were.

and VERY FINALLY bonus stuff, namely the two cards! Goromi, the dreadful luck hostess, and Nishida, the mad dog’s errand boy.

this one was sooooooooooooooooooo long but also we got lore that Goromi was NOT a one-off event. which is so much more than I could have ever hoped for. I also love that Kiryu has apparently gotten the text from Nishida on multiple occasions and is shocked every time that Goromi is there waiting on him. and they still go on the date, every time

it’s not even rituals at that point they’re just using Nishida as a date coordinator with the flimsiest pretext in the world. this is that guy fighting the waffle house cook levels of pretext

#yakuza #rgg #rggo #Ryu ga Gotoku #ryu ga gotoku online #Goromi #Nishida #like a dragon

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suzannahnatters · 1 month

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Some weirdly specific tropes that I absolutely adore but rarely see: Platonic Love Triangle Two attractive people will battle to the death over the right to be friends with you (I wrote this in A Day of Darkness and otherwise have only seen it in the kdrama Tale of the Nine-Tailed 1938)

The UnChosen One In the magical fantasy world, everyone has super awesome magical powers, except the protagonist (A Dream of Fire by JR Rasmussen did this SO WELL and it made me SO HAPPY; I also plan to do it myself in an upcoming project, A Lord of Thorns and Teeth)

Dying Baby King Terminally ill teen boy should be asking out his crush and having fun, not killing himself running a country (I wrote this in The Lady of Kingdoms with my squishy darling Baldwin IV, and I've only ever seen it done otherwise in the Trevor Nunn movie My Lady Jane)

Disabled Love Interest Put your romantic male lead in a wheelchair you cowards (Stella Dorthwany's Song and Flame and @rj-anderson's Knife have two of the best disabled love interests I've seen)

Sword in the Bed You've heard of Only One Bed but this is the superior medieval variant: before they bunk down together one of them draws a naked sword and lays it in the bed between them (IIRC, it happens in the Welsh Pwyll, Prince of Dyfed, and apart from that and some other medieval legends and fairytales, I've only seen it in an unfinished work by @rj-anderson auuuugh)

Fake Divorced Exactly what it says on the tin (I've never seen this? but DV I'll be writing it into the 5th Miss Dark book)

Bad Fictional Matriarchy What if the patriarchy was a fantasy matriarchy? It'd still be bad, obviously. I see this so rarely but it is always an opportunity for fantastic, layered social criticism (Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie did it well; I'm struggling to recall the one (1) other fantasy novel I read that did it!)

Sad Wet Puppy X Righteous Female Warrior ETL Enemies-to-lovers, but he's a skinny waterlogged little weirdo and she's the righteous paladin who is going to hound him to his destruction without mercy on the strength of her own heavenly wrath (it's the one thing in common between the kdrama Flower of Evil and the cdrama Till the End of the Moon and both of them sent me absolutely feral, plus I have an untitled project on the backburner that will give me the chance to do my own version of this...)

#weirdly specific tropes #tropes #these are a few of my favourite things #writing

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silkjade · 1 year

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genshin men x driving

this is so dumb but it had to be said. I've been driving for a while so a lot of these are taken from irl experiences I've had myself or from friends. also I'm american so this is based on driving in the u.s. | modern au, humor, fluff, reckless driving

𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐭

albedo ;; he has a habit of driving on the inner most lane of the highway but he doesn’t start switching to the exit lane until like 1 exit before. drove klee to the beach once 2 years ago and is still somehow finding sand in his car. all his turns are super wide

diluc ;; probably drives a very classic luxury car, like an aston martin or something. it’s sleek, it’s black, it’s giving batmobile because he drove with his high beams on for like 6 months and doesn’t get why it’s bad. it makes the road brighter he says as he blinds everyone going the other way. drives stick shift (manual), very hot when he reverses and puts his arm around the passenger seat

kaeya ;; he was the first person to get his license and everyone would ask him for rides, so now he drives a tiny sports car that doesn't fit anything. it’s also a luxury car but it’s flashier than diluc’s. follows driving laws to the T except for the fact that he never fully stops at stop signs

venti ;; an okay driver but it’s a terrible experience. you're amazed at how he hasn't run into any trouble yet. like at all. the kind of person who would try to run the yellow light except he’s doesn’t make it and is forced to brake really hard and just goes like "is everyone ok ehe.” you almost die and he says “oops”

𝐥𝐢𝐲𝐮𝐞

xiao ;; pet peeve: slow drivers. absolutely cannot stand sitting in traffic so he rides a motorcycle. always weaving in between cars but does it significantly less if you’re riding with him. has yanfei on speed dial in case of an accident. doesn’t know he’s super hot when he takes off his helmet and shakes his hair

zhongli ;; a slow driver. goes under the speed limit on the highway and gets cut off like no tomorrow. he doesn't think he's the problem though, just complains about how everyone is going way too fast. safety king. fakes injury for insurance money when someone hits him; only feels kind of bad

𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐚

ayato ;; has a driver that takes him everywhere because he does not drive, doesn't even have a license. passed his written exam with flying colors but failed on all three tries behind-the-wheel. his younger sister drives the car their parents bought for him. always likes tweets that are like “hot people don’t have their license”

gorou ;; family van kind of guy. very reliable and will drive you to the airport or help you move. doesn’t signal when switching lanes though which is kind of annoying. gets anxious driving in areas where there are a lot of one ways. always buys fruits from vendors selling it on the side of the road

heizou ;; drives with the top down, windows down and will make you feel like a coming of age movie protagonist. has the best driving playlist but will still hand you the aux if you ask. doesn’t pay for street parking though; parking meter? never heard of her

itto ;; car guy ™ who goes to car meets and mods his car. revs his engine when he sees his friends on the road but other than that he's actually a really good driver. takes very good care of his car— that’s his baby. he’s hot when he backs into parking spaces perfectly. blasts his music too loud at night though

kazuha ;; public transport icon. somehow never misses his bus/train/whatever and always manages to squeeze on even during rush hour. he tells people it's for the environment but that’s only half true. it's not that he can't drive, he just has the jankiest car; it's old as hell, has a dent on one side, and the passenger door doesn't even open from the inside

thoma ;; shining example of a perfect driver, the dmv wants him to do all their instructional videos. was only ever pulled over once before for swerving, but talked his way out of a ticket because he was trying to avoid hitting an animal. has those family stickers on his rear windshield except it's one man and like 3 dogs

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐮

al haitham ;; probably has an suv because he thinks it’s the most useful car and can get the most out of it. almost exclusively listens to audiobooks while driving. he had a great record until he accidentally rear ended a bus because he turned around to argue with kaveh in the backseat and now his car insurance is insanely high

cyno ;; super responsible driver, both hands on the wheel at 9 and 3 at all times. secretly really wants a retired police car because he thinks the idea of people suddenly slowing down when they see him on the road, thinking it’s a cop, is hilarious. names his car something stupid like attila the hyundai

kaveh ;; terrible at directions, his gps is constantly saying “rerouting” because he keeps missing turns and exits. cannot parallel park to save his life and will ask you to switch and park for him. generally a polite driver but if he's ever behind al haitham at a stop light, he beeps his horn at him 0.2 seconds after the light turns green

tighnari ;; his trunk is always full of plants and bags of soil, fertilizer, etc. has mild road rage; if he’s forced to brake hard because someone cut him off, especially while he has the right of way, he’s yelling in the car like “I should’ve hit you” because insurance would be on his side. carries snacks in his glove compartment, soccer mom energy

𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

childe ;; exclusively uses the term 'my tesla' instead of 'my car.' he insists on having it self drive to you from the parking lot; it takes forever and more often than not, it'd be faster to just walk. doesn't matter how far away he is, he's gonna go for that yellow light, it's a race against time and he's gonna win. one hand on the wheel, one hand on your thigh

dainsleif ;; drives in silence, no music no radio— nothing; sometimes he'll listen to self help podcasts though. a lot of the times he zones out and doesn’t know how he got from point a to point b. sits in his car for like half an hour after arriving home. likes holding your hand while driving

dottore ;; mutters “this would be a good place to dump a body” whenever he drives past a ditch. got pulled over for driving in the carpool lane by himself and using a mannequin to fake a passenger. they also found a bunch of questionable things in his car that he swears is for science. no longer drives because his license got revoked

pantalone ;; his car is immaculately clean. charges you for gas and makes you wipe your shoes before stepping in. always wants to stop for coffee first before going anywhere. has a lot of money but doesn’t know shit about cars so he gets way overcharged at bodyshops

scaramouche ;; says things like “I will crash this car right now” if he’s arguing with someone. hates backseat drivers and will threaten to kick you out if you are one. sometimes speeds down an empty highway at night just to feel something but drives extra carefully when nahida’s around. parks in the far corner of a supermarket parking lot to cry

#— 𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓙. ༯ #genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #genshin hcs #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin fluff #childe x reader #diluc x reader #xiao x reader #scaramouche x reader #zhongli x reader #alhaitham x reader #kaeya x reader #dottore x reader #genshin impact imagines

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