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wishingyouback · 3 years

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everything he didn’t couldn’t say.

pairing: han jisung x reader // lee minho x reader

genre: fluff, angst & one sided love (?)

summary: you can never choose who you fall for, but sometimes minho wished that he could just to stop the aching pain he had growing in his chest every time he caught the sight of you in the arms of another that weren’t his.

The group of boys were hanging out in their living room, their dorm being their only safe haven from the chaos of their college life. not even the cafe by campus could help satisfy their cravings or provide them the same sort of comfort that their home did.

Jisung was sat on the edge of the armrest of the sofa as he watched his friends fight over the playstation controllers that were limited to three instead of four since Hyunjin had forgotten to plug in it’s charger, resulting in one less player for their game of Tekken. As the hazel haired boy watched in amusement, he couldn’t help but jump to his feet at the sound of their doorbell ringing, indicating that the guest he invited and so badly waited for, had arrived.

The young boy screamed out a “I got it!” as he jogged up to the door, ignoring the teasing remarks his best friends let out behind him in the living room. Clearing his throat and brushing down his favourite sweater he knew you liked on him to rid of any crumpled state, he pulled open the door with a wide smile plastered on his face until he locked eye contact with a face he was all too familiar with, and frowned — visibly and noticeably.

“gee don’t look too excited,” Minho scowled as he carried a bag of snacks in his hand.

Jisung could only roll his eyes and open the door wider to let his best friend into his dorm, not bothering to look over his shoulder as he turned on his heel and went to grumble by himself. It wasn’t until before he could take his third step that he heard a angelic voice call out for him from behind Minho that he was quick to run back to the door with another grin on his face.

Minho helped you with the snacks the both of you decided to get for the boys then held back a curse word he was ready to let out when he saw Jisung. Though they were best friends, he could definitely sense the bias between him and you. To Jisung, Minho was still his best friend but you were his girlfriend, and he had a soft spot for you — like he should, Minho thought. As he moved out of the way, Minho glanced back to see you greeting Jisung with a warm hug and silently wished he were the one receiving it.

Jealousy was a curse — Minho thought. But still, he moved reluctantly when you gave him a smile that said you were more than fine. He knew it was selfish to pine over your best friend’s girl, but he was a little too stubborn and a little greedy to realise it. Minho would never let his emotions get the best of him, but seeing you with Jisung somehow made it hard. He knew you longer and he believed he knew you best. He loved Jisung like a brother, but jealousy was an ugly trait he never realised he had deep inside of him until he saw Jisung kiss you under the tree at the park.

Where Minho first met you six years ago.

Before he realised it, Minho saw that It went from him and you to him, Jisung and you to just Jisung and you and occasionally, him.

The older boy tried endless amount of times to fight the feeling. Heck he even considered applying to see the college counsellor to snap himself out of it, but every time he thought he was over you, his feelings only continued to grow and he was getting tired of it. It was tiring to keep thinking of you — thinking about what you would be doing today, knowing more than he should that you would be with Jisung. Minho was exhausted, but like any friend would do, he tolerated it and ignored his own feelings no matter how badly he was yearning for you.

While Minho was busy battling his inner conflicts, Jisung was busy wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him as you sat in the comfort of his arms in the corner of the sofa the three boys left unoccupied. Jisung conversed casually with Hyunjin while Chan and Felix were busy trying to set up the console they brought over. Minho, however, was still caught up in his thoughts in the kitchen that he didn’t realise the big fuss happening in the living room until you decided to get up and get a drink, not expecting to see Minho standing by the kitchen counter with his head in his hands.

“Hey,” you gently tapped Minho’s shoulder. The raven haired boy slowly pulled himself out of his thundering thoughts and turned to look at you with a grin.

The older boy, who you spent most of your years spilling all your secrets to, who has also seen the worst side and prettiest side of you and still decided to stay, stared at you as if you held the world in your eyes and the only way you could describe his gaze on you now was — warm. his eyes looked as if he held the stars and like a secret, he was slowly letting you in on what he had been so scared to show you in a long time.

Which was why after that, you stayed quiet and smiled sweetly in return, liking the way the both of you never felt awkward or stuffy in an environment most people could describe as tension. After a moment, with you getting a cup of water and a chocolate bar for Jisung who you knew would be craving for one soon, you stood across from Minho and mirrored his actions.

“What’s wrong? The boys bother you again or did Hyunjin eat your favourite snack?” You asked with a teasing smile.

To Minho, he could answer that truthfully and say he was just thinking about you, but he knew better than to try and flirt with a girl who was taken.

He only shrugged and poked your nose, “if he did he wouldn’t be here right now.” He grinned widely, trying to hide the way he felt. “Why’re you so nosy?” He joked.

You could only laugh, rolling your eyes as you did so which made Minho’s usual steady heart, skip a beat at two at the sudden action. When he cleared his throat and covered it with a throaty laugh, you took it as a sign to pull him into the living room where the four boys were now laughing at something Chan did as they played their game.

Minho, deciding it was best to divert his attention away from the couple, sat beside Chan and was more than grateful when he offered him a game — it helped him forget about the situation he was in and definitely occupied his mind away from you. As he accepted the consoler from Chan’s hand, you took your spot next to Jisung and easily slipped your arm through his to link your arms together and cling closer to him.

Jisung’s eyes were focused on the game at hand, but the sudden affection from you did not go unnoticed and naturally, he slipped his fingers through yours to lace them together; making your heart flutter and your face heat up annoyingly quick. Hyunjin saw this and jokingly gagged, while Felix gushed over the two of you. Jisung paid no attention to that and only ran his thumb over the back of your hand.

Minho, who was busy choosing his character, stole a glance and noticed the way both of your hands fit so perfectly together. It was like your hands were a constant reminder from the Gods above that you chose Jisung instead of him. Except, you didn’t have to choose and you weren’t aware of Minho’s affection towards you. Minho concluded that the Universe had something against him and was waiting for him to crack any single moment now — he could not catch a break.

Subconsciously, Minho’s hands clenched the consoler tight; making the veins on his hands become more evident.

Shit, was what Chan thought and moved to divert everyone’s attention to the characters on Jisung’s screen — pointing out the tiniest details that usually would not mean much, but this time meant a lot.

Chan was aware of the feelings Minho acquired for you, in fact, he was the first person Minho told. It was in the spur of the moment and Minho was drunk, but still Minho informed his older friend that he didn’t regret telling him and only continued to ask for advice which Chan gave without a second thought. Chan loved all three of you so the best he could do was try to keep the situation as calm as possible. Minho was patient, responsible and rational — he would never act out of impulse, but still Chan would look out for him and Minho was more than thankful to have a friend like him.

When you laughed at something Felix said, Minho visibly calmed down and continued the conversation easily, acting as if he wasn’t annoyed or bothered by how the two of you were acting.

“You good?” Was what Chan asked subtly behind the cup of water he was about to drink out of. Minho cleared his throat, looked at Chan and nodded.

Taking it as a good sign, Chan continued choosing his character and Minho went back to playfully bickering with the others present in the room; you included.

Jisung smiled at his group of his friends, enjoying the way everything just felt so right with you right beside him.

What more could he ask for than this? His best friends and you, his favourite person next to him laughing and just having fun. But as he glanced at his best friend from across the room, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of worry wash over his body.

Call it a gut feeling or Jisung’s wild imagination, but there was a small voice in the back of his head that was constantly reminding him that there was something hiding in the mind of his older friend. The blonde wanted strongly to believe that it was only him being paranoid and that the both of them would go back to the way they were before, but a small gut feeling convinced Jisung otherwise and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face what Minho was hiding from him; something deeper.

A lot, deeper.

a/n: one of my first ever works of skz that i’ve put out into the world (?), instead of letting it sit in my drafts so i hope you like & enjoy it! <3 don’t forget to vote, & support them on kingdom! xx

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

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Ooh! I would love to hear your thoughts on how Twilight is like Othello!

So, in a nutshell, it goes like this: Carlisle is Othello, Edward is Iago, Aro is Desdemona.

The Beginning

Our story begins with Carlisle departing Volterra on amiable terms. Yes, the diet became a non-negotiable difference between him and Aro, but none the less he views Aro as a very close friend and an uncorrupt and wise ruler.

On his end, Carlisle is the only true friend Aro has (now that Marcus is out of commission). While Carlisle was able to leave Volterra, I imagine Aro both expected and hoped that one day Carlisle would return after realizing for himself he was unable to find the like minded in the wide world.

However, it didn't end up that way. Carlisle turns Edward and rapidly builds himself a coven.

However, there's still no ill feelings towards the Volturi, quite the opposite. We don't hear much from Carlisle himself, but of all Carlisle's many friends, it's only the Volturi who get featured in Edward's story. And, speaking for Carlisle when he's not in the room, there's a giant ass picture of the Volturi on the wall.

Edward loathes that painting.

And this is where the tiniest seeds are sown.

Edward never really likes the idea of a Carlisle before the Cullens, before him, that is to say. When he tells Carlisle's tale, there's this pervading sense of narcissism throughout it. Carlisle's life was miserable and damned until he saw the divine spotlight hanging over Edward and turned him.

The Volturi, oh, yeah, guess they were around and important BUT NEVER MIND THEM.

Edward never outright says anything, not even really to Bella or to himself, but his internal narration and what he does say speaks for him. He doesn't like the painting, he leaves only the bare minimum of their influence in the story, he doesn't even tell Bella what they really do and why he may have fucked up in telling her the secret.

He doesn't want to think about them and never wants to meet them.

If he ever does, it is only under the pretext that they will be the tools he uses to kill himself when Bella dies.

New Moon

As Edward told Bella, when he thought she died, he travelled to Volterra and asked for assisted suicide. They said no.

And that, that is the moment that they become corrupt tyrants.

Before then, Edward didn't necessarily like the Volturi, he certainly didn't like the threat they represented to Bella but he had no real thoughts on them. Indeed, he viewed them with enough respect that he thought they would grant his suicide request.

But then they didn't.

And granted, we don't know what Edward witnessed in Volterra, we don't know what he heard going around in everyone's head, but given that this is Edward I think this alone is enough.

They didn't give Edward what he wanted. Then, worse happens, they become a legitimate threat to Bella Swan.

They have now seen Bella in person, Aro lays down the law, Aro shows interest in her gift, and everything's spiraling out of control. By the time we hit the meeting in New Moon that Bella is present for, Edward is accusing Aro of openly being a corrupt tyrant.

However, ultimately, Edward, Bella, and Alice do return to Forks unharmed (though with Bella's turning hanging over their heads). And Edward does not forget that.

We don't see Edward's immediate reunion with the family, we don't see exactly what he says to Carlisle about what happens, but I imagine Edward tells Carlisle what he tells him later in Eclipse: that Aro is a power hungry monster who will stop at nothing to collect Edward and Alice (funny how Edward always leaves Bella out of that when she's the one Aro would actually want but never mind that).

Given what has happened so far, Carlisle very likely does not believe this. Yes, Edward has his gift, but he hears so little of what people think and things are easily misinterpreted.

Had Aro wanted Bella, he would have demanded she be turned and stay there, it was well within his rights. As it was, he did something very generous for the Cullens and Carlisle at least will be grateful because of it.

Edward goes and smashes another TV after having smashed the first after the vote.

Eclipse

Then the events of Eclipse happen.

First, we start with the ramp up.

Seattle is being terrorized, it becomes clearer and clearer that this is not gang violence nor another Ted Bundy, this is a newborn army. The Cullens, Carlisle, wait on the Volturi to arrive: they never do.

Edward continues to disparage the Volturi but now... Now Carlisle is starting to listen.

Aro is letting Seattle burn because he wants Edward and Alice, he has this vision of total omniscience by holding on constantly to Edward and Alice's hands and he will be utterly unstoppable. He'll use this as an opportunity to wipe out the coven so he can take the gifted members.

As for Bella, a vampire has been sneaking into her bedroom, it's likely a Volturi agent sent by Caius or Jane under Aro's implicit orders. (Though everyone actually disagrees with this one, even Alice, who helpfully tries to give Edward an out of "maybe it was Jane!" Carlisle just sits in the corner looking pained and dubious.)

Carlisle likely doesn't believe all of this. Yes, Aro collects gifts, and yes the Volturi's absence is bizarre and damning, but what Edward is saying is... well, evil.

But then Jane shows up, just after the battle has ended, strolling in like she has all the time in the world. She tortures and murders Bree Tanner, a girl who never even had a chance to know what the law was, and leaves with a parting threat that Bella better be turned or else.

Carlisle's faith in the Volturi is completely shaken, such that, when the Renesmee debacle happens, desperately gathering witnesses is his family's only means of survival.

Now, where the Othello comes in, is I don't think Aro's guilty. His having given that order makes no sense on any level. More, for all Alice was stretched thin, she was certain that she would see any major decision coming from Aro during Eclipse. She did not, implying that someone else was behind it (my money's on Caius).

However, by allowing this to happen, any of this to happen, and with Edward spewing poison, Aro becomes everything Edward is saying and more.

And there is nothing he can possibly say to make up for what happened and so he says nothing.

Which, of course, just makes everything worse.

Breaking Dawn

Irina goes to the Volturi and tells Aro that the Cullen coven has created an immortal child. Less than six months ago, the Volturi subtly tried to wipe the Cullen coven off the map, and now Irina has just handed them every excuse they need.

Carlisle doesn't question what happens next: he gathers witnesses.

If his coven stands alone, they will fall and they will die, and if the Volturi act then there must be many vampires watching this go down so as to hold them accountable.

Of course, gathering witnesses quickly turns into gathering an army, which is not what Carlisle wanted but what he got.

In the meantime, Edward and Eleazar are riling each other up and painting a very bleak history of Volterra: of what has happened to other gifted covens in the past.

And then it happens: the confrontation in Breaking Dawn.

Renesmee is clearly not an immortal child, the Volturi admit as much, but the confrontation continues regardless. It becomes about whatever Renesmee is, about the wolves, about anything and everything.

Then Aro does it. He uses every gifted vampire he has against them. Jane, Chelsea, Alec, through Bella's gift alone the group is spared but if Bella hadn't been there.

I imagine Carlisle thought he and every witness he gathered would have died that day.

(For the record, I don't think that was Aro's intention.)

And just like that, it's done, whatever man Carlisle thought he knew in Volterra was a lie. Edward was right, this man is utterly corrupt and will sacrifice everything for power.

And the end isn't here yet.

There will be another confrontation and, the way canon will likely go, the Volturi will lose.

Which is very bad for all of us.

Back to Othello

The important thing here is that, throughout all of this, while a series of the world's most tragic miscommunications and events took place, you also had Edward on the side insisting the worst about Aro at every turn.

Hence, Carlisle is Othello, Edward Iago, Aro Desdemona.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #othello #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #carlisle cullen #aro #the volturi #meta #headcanon #opinion

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extemely-thoughtful-person · 3 years

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On The Possible Students, Staff, and Ideals of Royal Sword Academy

Before you read this, just know that I don't hate heros. They stand for some good morals at times and they have their moment to shine. What I don't like is the character flaws that don't get resolved towards the end of the film.

I'm was bored, Okay?

With the recent conclusion of chapter 5, we were given a lot of new grounds to to explore and new information to apply and expand for the world building of Twisted Wonderland. The most important thing I believe chapter 5 has done is set the stage for what is to come in the future chapters. With the VDC, we got to take a quick glance at not only the students of RSA, but also it's Head President, Ambrose the 63rd. But, now with the chapters conclusion, what should we expect from the people of RSA in Chapters 6 and 7? Are the students any good? What kind of lessons are taught by the teachers? Is the overall morral of the academy is good or bad?

There are a lot of things we still don't really know about them, so I'm gonna try and figure out more about them through sources of current information and other things that we should be looking at. (Though there is a high chance that everything I'm saying is not going to happen, as everytime I make any kind of prediction, it never happens.😑)

Now, there are two things we need to look at before we actually start guessing what the school is like: the base of inspiration of RSA, and what we know from what we were given in the game.

Starting with the inspiration of RSA. The school is basically the twst base for all Twisted Disney protagonists, like the princes, princesses, heros, and their sidekicks. Basically, if a villain based character attends, or attended NRC, then their protagonist counterpart attends, or attended RSA. Simple. Because these are two rival schools, I have no idea who thought it was a good idea to build two academies that want to rip each other to shreds on the SAME F*CKING ISLAND!!! I feel really sorry for the town that's separating the two schools, because a lot of battles must take place there during the school year.

But back to the point, these RSA students are going to be based on the Disney protagonists, which is actually very important to note. This is where we dive into the films that the characters are based off of.

Disney inspiration

The old Disney films are some of the best pieces of animated art ever to hit the big screen, and I'm positive many of you reading this grew up with these movies. They always make up some part of your childhood. But, unlike you all, I never got to experience all of the Disney magic as a kid. There were only two or three original animated films that I ever got to see: Cinderella (the one I've seen a dozen times), Pinocchio ( the one that gave me nightmares), and Beauty and the Beast (I only ever saw this movie once or twice). There were certain movies from the famous Disney collection I was never allowed to watch, however: Aladdin, the Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Alice in Wonderland, Hercules, and a lot more. Now that I'm older, and have the resources and time to watch what I've been missing, I'm starting to realize why I was never allowed to watch those movies as a kid.

Now, I'm sure you all thought this way at one point: as a little kid, you've always cheered on the protagonist, you've always said that the good guy is good and the bad guy is bad. You see the situation as black and white. One person stands for something great, while the other wishes to harm others for personal gain. You vote for good, you hate the bad. And in the end, the bad guy gets punished while the protagonist emerges victorious, loved by everyone, and always rewarded with a happily ever after.

However, as you get older, the line between good and bad starts to blur. You begin to realize why the "bad guy" is doing what they're doing, and starting to see that the "good guys" aren't always making the right choices. You start to see there is more to the people involved than them just being good or bad. Ever notice that the protagonists look more or less the same? Their always thin, white, royalty, or heros (not all of them are white, but I'm trying to prove a point.) They always have a charm that makes them stand as protagonists, but when brought together, they look more or less the same. They even have similar personalities to an extent.

The villains on the other hand are much more diverse with design, they have a unique appearance and personality that sets them apart from the "good people". Some are larger, others are taller, a few are very charming and manipulative, while others seem more comedic. They have a wide range of personalities and designs that make them recognizable to the audience. But there is also something else you begin to see as you become older, their motives. Not all of them have the worst intentions in mind. Many of them were wronged for being different. Some even fell from grace by suffering tragic events. Now, I'm not saying everything they do is right, and they still did awful things that merit some kind of punishment, but you start to see why they do what they did. You start to understand them more, and sympathize with them. Not every villain is good, however. There are some cases where the wrong doer gets what they deserve, but there are cases where they didn't deserve what they got.

Flipping to the protagonists, not all of them are great. And, again I'm not saying that to hate on them, but you need to remember, they may be the protagonists, but are they really doing the right thing? There are a bunch of times where the hero is dumb and stupid and replies on others to do everything for them because they're innocent princesses who are good and pure and don't need to do anything because they're perfect. Sounds like a Mary Sue, but sad to say, there are Disney protagonists who fit this description (looking at you Snow White). But not every protagonist is dumb, on the contrary, but their actions are a bit on the selfish side of things. Heroes like Ariel and Hercules made selfish choices for the sake of ✨LOVE✨, but in all honesty, they should've known better. Others hammer on the villains for self enjoyment, and when the villains bite back, they never once considered that the situation was partially their fault. The only thing they can say is " Op, this guy's messed up. Time to beat his @$$!" And then proceeds to kick them all the way to Hades (Sometimes literally in this case). And these characters are supposed to be role models for children! Now the good news is not every protagonist is like this, there are actually a few very good ones who mean well, still have flaws that make them relatable, and are rightfully rewarded.

My favorite example of this is Mulan. She wants fight on behalf of her father, works hard to pass the trials of war, and comes back in the end even though she was left to die. The villains she faced were blood thirsty and wanted to conquer more land and take lives. The Huns die in defeat, while Mulan is called a hero. In this case, the formula for good and bad makes sense and puts the characters in the right positions.

But sadly, there are cases where the villain gets wronged by the good guys, goes bad, and then gets punished because they were bad and wrong, and the "good guys" are always right even if they do something that's questionable. This is what we're focusing on, because 1: we have yet to see Mulan in TWST, and 2: because this case makes up at least a good portion of the movies used in the TWST universe. The movies listed here are in the TWST verse, and are what I consider to be in this category: The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Snow White, and Hercules.

The RSA we know so far

Now basing the interactions we received from the VDC, we have met what I like to call the Snow White Package of students from both schools. On the "hero's" side, we've got Neige, our Snow White, and his seven dwarf companions (I'm not going to name them all, because so far, their names are irrelevant.) On the "Villains" side, we've got Vil Schoenheit, our Evil Queen, Rook Hunt, our huntsman, and Epel Felmier, our adorable poisoned apple.

Now from what we're shown, Neige is a young, talented actor and influencer at the rank of number 1. He's also a bit naive and seems to trust others way to easily. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but this can become a problem. I wrote in a theory about Neige failing the VDC that everything is decided for him, and that he's controlled by the people he agrees to help. There are two things to take away from this if this is true.

Firstly, how he responds to the situation. If he's naive about the whole thing until someone points it out to him, then that would make sense. But it would make even more sense if he is already aware of what's going on around him, but he continues to act nice and pretends that he's not bothered by it, when infact, he is.

This leads to the second point, his unique magic. Though we haven't gotten a formal name or power, I believe that his unique magic is called, "Sing with me" Which gives him the ability to get others to sing and dance along with him when ever he preforms. The base of inspiration for this magic would be Snow White getting the animals to sing along with her, and help her with whatever she's doing, (read: do things for her). As for why, his awareness that he's being controlled subtly plus the fact that it bothers him is given away from the fact that he can subtly manipulate people to sing and dance along with him wether they like it or not. Basically, it would make sense for him to be able to manipulate others as he is manipulated on a daily basis.

The dwarves don't hold any importance right now, but if my theory about Neige's unique magic is true, then that would explain the shaky performance given at the VDC. The dwarves probably didn't rehearse very well, if not at all, so a unique magic that can make someone sing along with someone else regardless of whether or not they heard the song before would explain it.

As for Vil, well, he reminds me of Mega Mind. He always wanted to do something great, but he was always categorized as a player for the Villain role at a young age and was never given the chance to prove himself capable of the hero's role. His unique magic isn't just a reference to the Evil Queen, but also a manifestation of what he doesn't want to become, but was always the roles he was set as in front of the camera: a curse. Something unwanted, an obstacle, a disposable, selfish person who only wants to get in the way of the protagonist. What makes this so sad is that he was never given the chance to be something else, something better. People would always categorize him as the bad guy and never give him the opportunity to something greater. It's no wonder he hates the role so much. He wants to survive till the end instead of constantly being defeated.

What they could be

So, what about the rest of the students of RSA? (Besides Chenya. He's cool. I like him.)

Comparing the depressing and traumatic lives of the NRC students, the RSA students... well, it really depends. I could be wrong about this, but...

They could have two sides to them. One side that shows the world that they are the best, that they are successful and they always win. That their lives are perfect and that anyone who wants to be successful must follow their example.

The other side shows what's really going on on the inside, away from the adoring public. And that...is that their lives aren't perfect at all. They have trauma, or bad experiences that they try to cover up with a facaude that hides their true emotional pain. What other things could come out of this side?

A desire...no, a need to try and make their ideal images a reality. To show the world that they are right and they are perfect. That anyone who doesn't agree with them are wrong. They feel the need to cover up all of their pain, and continue on the path that the world sees them taking, the path that the world believes is the path of betterment. They are desperate to prove that they are perfect and successful in any and everyway. And they work together to support each other, making it easier for them to handle their pain and move on.

NRC doesn't, or didn't have that support. But unlike RSA, they aren't desperate to prove that their way of life is perfect, they're more focused on their individual futures, goals and objectives. They are more independent and creative on their own lives and march to the beat of their own drums. When a fellow student is doing something, and helping them benefits the assistant, then they will help, not for the sake of kindness, reputation or perfection, but for the purpose of getting themselves closer to their goals. This isn't a bad thing, but if you try to bring others down so that you can go up, then that isn't good.

But they don't have the same support system RSA has, meaning that instead of sharing their pain to make it easier, they are forced to bottle it up. And we all know how well that ends up going sooner or later.

But that leaves the question: Why does NRC want to beat RSA in the Magift tournament? Or anything else, really?

There are a few reasons. One, for honor's sake, of course. You'd definitely want to beat the people that won last year... and the year before that... and the year before that...

But this is a better reason for wanting to win besides just petty feuds and honor: personal goals and agendas.

Think about it. If a well assembled and trained team managed to beat a seemingly flawless academy's team that's been victorious for almost a century, then that would put you on a pretty high pedistal. You would be incredibly famous and popular. New opportunities would open up for you and your teammates. You could meet your goals and your dreams a lot faster and easier. And your life would improve greatly.

But, do you know what that means for the losing side?

That they were wrong. That they don't always win. That their lives are flawed. That the path they follow doesn't always guarantee success. That they aren't the best example to follow. RSA and it's reputation would decease considerably if they lost to their rival school, making NRC the better academy, making them the perfect academy. This means only one thing for RSA...

They can't afford to lose. Even if it means using tactics that involve questionable actions.

Like CHEATING.

That's right. I just accused the very popular and professional academy RSA of an act as large as cheating. Why? I must have some pretty solid evidence for them to do such a nefarious act. And I do.

Firstly, the fact that despite the constantly changing students and staff, RSA has won the inter school Magift tournament for 99 years in a row. That's a pretty weird fact. It must mean that either the players are really good, or they staged it with tactics that are against the rules.

Second, think about the next chapter. This theory about cheating would fit in perfectly with the character story arch for Ignihyde. I believe that the next chapter is going to be about fitting in. Belonging somewhere. Idia and Ortho are our protagonists. Both are charecters who like games. I imagine Idia having family issues with his cousins constantly playing games with him and Ortho as kids, but Idia always seems to lose to them because the cousins or family members change the rules of the game so that it turns in their favor. They do this for their own amusement and to make themselves feel like winners while Idia and Ortho are always left out of the fun, and called the losers. The Shroud brothers are cast out, only to discover later that they were playing a game that they could never win because it was always rigged against them. And this makes them mad. Idia vows to go above and beyond to be better than them in every way and to win fairly for once. Besides losing against his relatives, what else do you think he lost? Any chance for friends, his brother's life, maybe more. And he is not about to lose anything else ever again.

He works and studies hard and in the end he ends up winning, but also going a little bit to high at the same time. He maxes out on technically and magical power making him better than his competition, but also putting him in his own class of competition. This makes him feel nervous and unworthy of those who are higher than him, and distant from those beneath him. So he's basically drifting in the space between earth and mars.

If he ends up competing in the tournament, only to discover during, or worse yet, after the tournament that the game was rigged against them again, that they were never going to win anyways again, then the flashbacks would race over him with the speed of a bullet train, and he would snap. Hard.

It would make things worse if Ortho was also there and they both Overblotted together. It would be our first match against two dangerous Overblot victims, and it would be all RSA's fault.

Not only that, but it would send an even more dangerous message to the people than the one RSA sent at the VDC about not needed effort to accomplish your dreams. It would be: In order to succeed, do whatever it takes to win. Remember Kronk's New Groove? Where the little kid cheats so that their team can win that competition? Yeah. We would see the same thing happening here. This is a very dangerous way of thinking because that means that if you're crafty enough, then you can win anything and get whatever you want. Not only that you don't have to work hard, but you can take the easiest way and cheat your way to the top.

And how would that sit with the parents of the mages attending RSA? The school teaching their students, their children, that cheating is the only real way to win? That lying and stealing from those below you is the only way to succeed in life?

"But wouldn't NRC be the most likely school to pull a cheat move in the tournament? Heros don't cheat."

...(*pulls the wallpaper back and peeps a concerned face through*) ..."ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?!"

Because last I recall, I've seen numerous cases where the hero manages to outsmart the bad guy, pull out a trump card to cheat the system and do whatever the heck they want, and get away from the consequences of their actions because they are protagonists who are ment to win from the start. I can think of an example for all three of these, and all examples are from the movies twisted into twisted wonderland.

Aladdin outsmarted Jafar and Jafar turned into a genie and got trapped in a lamp for the rest of time. Alice angered the Queen of Hearts, but managed to escape the consequences of her actions. (Who was right or wrong in these scenarios isn't the point. What they did is.) And Hercules pulled the "I'm a god" trump card out of his back pocket at the last possible second to throw Hades off and get away with Megera's ghost. (This last scenario about Hades losing against a trump card and losing his temper afterwards is a great example of what could happen at the Magift tournament.)

And HOLY COW!!! I thought Crowley was the one who needed an interview about questionable morals, because if RSA was caught cheating against their rivals, who are completely oblivious to the fact that they were being played this entire time for a century, then it would make the students of NRC look like saints compared to their competition.

So wouldn't cheating be a terrible idea? If they got caught the consequences would be dire. But they've been getting away with it for almost a century now.

It's a risk they're willing to take to protect the reputation of their perfect academy.

But does this look perfect to you?

Thanks for reading!!! I stayed up really late to get most of this down sacrificing valuable sleep! Have a great day!!!☺️☺️☺️☺️

Eh... sleep is for the weak, anyways...zzzz.

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obiwanobi · 4 years

Note

senator skywalker and sith senator kenobi au where anakin annoys obi-wan so much that in the end he just. fuckign rails him to shut him up. but then afterwards he’s all pliant and sleepy and beautiful, and for the first time in 30 years something in obi-wan’s cold dead heart shudders to life.

good lord I’m really, really into it.

The dynamic is so different here, because Obi-Wan is doing this ‘hidden Sith in politics’ very well, he’s charming, pleasant, pays attention to what he says in public and everyone feels heard and important when he’s here. He was even voted one of the most popular Senators among the public this year.

Senator Kenobi could declare that he’s going to nuke Coruscant in the next hour and people would probably thank him for being brave enough to announce it himself. He’s everything Sidious hoped for, and Obi-Wan thinks that it’s worth being away from real action and unable to wield his lightsaber for a few years.

But then Senator Skywalker shows up, and Obi-Wan’s nerves never truly recover.

Skywalker is the worst. He has an extraordinary gift for making everything difficult: questioning centuries-old protocols, rallying the public (and even politicians, because they’re all as brain-dead as the people they represent) to useless and time-consuming causes like stopping slavery in the outer rim, (is there still people living in the outer rim? Gross.) trying to make revolutions and civil wars happen everywhere he goes and diverting everyone from Obi-Wan’s objective by being loud and obnoxious.

He’s a pain in the ass, and unfortunately, he notices Obi-Wan. And from this moment, where Obi-Wan allows himself to be annoyed at another senator instead of violently murdering them in cold blood like he wants to, Senator Skywalker becomes the bane of his existence. Putting himself in his way whenever he can, voting against every bill Obi-Wan promotes, arguing with him over petty details from 08:00 to 19:00 and sometimes even through the press, until he’s permanently tightly wound up and angry enough to look borderline furious any time Skywalker walks in his field of vision.

And Skywalker smiles through it all.

Obi-Wan dreams of decapitating him.

The day Obi-Wan finally looses his legendary patience in public and yells at Skywalker is also the day he fucks Skywalker through his desk three hours later.

Obi-Wan throws him out of his office after five seconds of blessed silence, when Skywalker recovers enough of his wit to make a sharp comment about knowing that Obi-Wan couldn’t be as perfect as everyone said he was.

This, (fucking him, not throwing him out) was a colossal mistake. He knows. He just... couldn’t find any other way that doesn’t include maiming him for life to make him shut the fuck up for one minute.

Skywalker takes it as an invitation to bother him in private in addition to turning into his personal nemesis in public. Anytime they’re left alone, Obi-Wan snaps at him, throws sarcastic comments after rude remarks, criticizes absolutely everything from the ugly scar on his face to his unrealisable and childlike ideas about social changes. But Skywalker doesn’t leave, and argues with him or finds it funny, and it only makes him stick around more (he is funny, in a very dark and horrifying sense of humour that absolutely no one should know Obi-Wan possesses.)

But it’s also almost... relaxing, to be able to talk to someone without carefully choosing words beforehand. To say the most outrageous thing his mind comes up with, and only have Skywalker laugh and maybe even add a comment himself. Skywalker has his limits, obviously (Obi-Wan knows now to never approach the slave topic in a fifty lightyears radius again, and notices that he’s weirdly protective of Naboo’s Senator) but any violent argument is generally solved by fucking and then ignoring their divergence of opinion.

They fuck when the atmosphere becomes too tense between them, they fuck when it’s convenient, they even fuck when they celebrate the departure of a hated colleague or Stewjon’s victory in whatever mid rim sport is popular these days. Sex is good, even better when they start to learn what they both like and relish the intimate noises they can draw from each other a few doors away from their colleagues.

They still hate each other. (One time a journalist asked him about his thoughts about Skywalker’s reelection as Tatooine’s Senator, and Obi-Wan said “I think he’s the senator Tatooine deserves”. Later that day, Skywalker commed him. “You’re really good at shitting on me and my planet without anyone noticing, hm.” He knew he was smiling, so Obi-Wan smiled too and told him to be in his office without his pants on in half an hour if he wanted to complain about it.)

They still don’t get along. (”They’re children, Kenobi, you’ll have to be extra nice in front of the cameras and not look like you’d rather have a vasectomy than spend one more minute listening to their incomprehensible babbles and being touched by their dirty little hands,” Skywalker once said while readjusting Obi-Wan’s collar. “You know I hate doing that.” “Yes, but you’re also very good at pretending to have human feelings.” “I know, it’s a curse.” Skywalker half-laughed, half-kissed him. He didn’t hate it.)

Obi-Wan still throws him out of his office or apartment after he’s done with him. (Except that one time Skywalker fell asleep in his bed because he had an exhausting day and still came to Obi-Wan’s apartment. And this one time he blinked slowly at him right after sex, all warm and soft and content and said “This is the only time my brain can shut down and I’m finally free.” And also the time Skywalker came back from his horrible two-month-long diplomatic mission that almost killed him and spent two days on his couch, refusing to talk but leaning in when Obi-Wan’s hand stroked his head.)

(It means nothing.)

But then Skywalker makes the mistake of being jealous.

Obi-Wan has never really cared about...Well, anyone, really, so when he fucks (gently, slowly, with soothing words, Force, this is all so boring) the pretty niece of a King to make her change her uncle’s mind about taxes on hyperspace lane routes in his sector, he doesn’t think about it much.

Until Skywalker barges in his office yelling. It’s different from their usual banters and fights. For once, Obi-Wan is more confused than irritated because Skywalker isn’t making any sense (less than usual anyway) and keeps talking about Obi-Wan being the worst (nothing new here) and when he finally understands that it’s about... Phimla? Phila? Whatever the name of the girl was, he can’t help but be annoyed.

“Oh, please don’t tell me that you’re a romantic.”

He’s waiting for more yelling, but nothing comes. Skywalker just stands here, looking at him like he barely recognises him, with an expression Obi-Wan can’t completely read. It’s a long silence, almost an uncomfortable one because nothing should be so still around Skywalker who’s always on the move. It doesn’t feel right, not knowing what to say to him, how to make him react, understand what’s happening.

It takes a long, long time to realise that Skywalker is holding back tears.

Obi-Wan can’t deal with crying people. That’s the only reason he hates seeing Skywalker’s trembling hands running through his hair.

“I can’t believe I thought you could— Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Of course you can’t understand normal emotions, it would make you human and we both know you can’t even be in the same sector as human or else you implode.”

"Skywalker—”

“Fuck you, Obi-Wan.”

He leaves. He has never called him Obi-Wan before.

Obi-Wan doesn’t see him for weeks. Not in the corridors of the Senate, not at cocktail parties, not in meetings. No one challenges him when he speaks in public now, no one makes a sarcastic comment about his flowery turns of phrases or pushes him in an empty room for a blowjob right before an important conference to throw him off.

It’s boring.

It doesn’t help that people have been acting weirdly lately.

“Should I book two tickets?” His assistant asks him when he tells her to get him transport to Stewjon for a weekend. “No, why would I need two tickets?” She sends him an unimpressed look.

Despite his best efforts to be polite and courteous, Senator Amidala refuses to speak directly to him.

Even Sidious makes a comment. “You’ve been distracted lately.” Obi-Wan doesn’t know how to answer to that. It’s best to say nothing. “I have something to cheer you up, you’ll like it. I think it’s time we get rid of a... troublesome Senator.”

Obi-Wan thinks he’s having one of these unpleasant feelings he despises.

#sidious who knows perfectly well who obi-wan's been sleeping with these past few months: 'just kill him'#obi-wan: 'is it... guilt and worry for another person i am feeling for the first time in my life?'#obi-wan: 'disgusting'#anon #asks #senator skywalker au #sith senator kenobi au #au #obikin #fic i will never write #ssssk au #senate affair au

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ratsoh-writes · 3 years

Note

Could I request some yandere mafia hcs for the mafias that you already write for? 👉👈 Ty

Snipe: he’s the parinoid yandere. Snipe at first starts off completely normal. At least as normal an already cautious mafia boss can be. But then the closer you two get, the more severe his parinoia becomes. To be fair, there were some attacks, and bruiser just recently hit hurt. So he’s completely justified right? How about months later? Still ok? It’s starting to get obvious that snipe is loosing it. It even gets to the point where bruiser tries to shake some sense in his brother. That’s the last straw. The next thing you know, you’re waking up in the middle of nowhere with your boyfriend crazily muttering to himself. If you try to fight back, he’ll see it as a betrayal, just like everyone else in his life. Nobody ever finds you two again

Bruiser: he’s the heroic yandere. When bruiser first saw you, he knew you were the one. But how to properly introduce himself. Over the course of several weeks he fantasizes about saving you valiantly, winning your affections. Eventually fantasy becomes reality when he comes across poor little you getting mugged! You’re so grateful to your savior that you easily agree to a date after he fights off the crooks. That feeling of saving you and fulfilling his fantasy? ITS ADDICTING. Dating bruiser is like a dream. He’s so sweet and attentive. Plus he’s your hero. He’s saved you more times than you can count! In fact it seems like your life has been so much more dangerous lately.. you wonder why

Butch: he’s the greedy yandere. Butch is used to getting his way, he’s the top of the food chain after all, so when you refuse his advances in the bar, he’s furious. At first he plays nice, but after a week or two it’s clearly not working. Bruiser doesn’t even hide it when he snatches you away to never be seen again. He is the mafias butcher after all, who’s going to stand up to him? As punishment for refusing to give him what he clearly deserves, butch will use you as his own little punching bag among other things.. eventually you stop fighting back. It’s no fun anymore. Guess he has to find a new toy

Boss: he’s the controlling yandere. It’s your fault really. Boss Did say that you need to follow the rules if you want to stay with him. He’s been such a gentleman though, it shouldn’t be that bad. Once you live with him, you basically have given boss your consent to be his completely. He will control EVERYTHING. When you go out, when you wake up, what you wear, who you meet, what you get to read and watch, when you eat, what you eat. He even controls when you get to use the bathroom. Nothing is sacred to him. Any reslitance leaves you drugged into submission. Follow the rules and you’ll have a safe and healthy life really, but is that a life worth living?

Ace: he’s the insecure yandere. Dating ace is like a dream at first. Of course every couple has thier differences occasionally and one quirk of aces has been grating on your nerves. When you try to address it, he completely blows up on you, screaming, crying, gaslighting until you feel like the worlds worst abuser. Any time you even hint that something is wrong, that you give him an expression that’s just slightly negative ace will loose it. How could you treat him like this? Don’t you know how much your words hurt? Isn’t his life hard enough? And don’t even think of leaving him. He may be forgiving of your behavior but you can bet the rest of the mafia won’t be

Slim: the true stalker yandere. Suprisingly slim is the safest yandere to have. He’s not really sure what it is about you but you’re just so interesting! You’re a light in his otherwise bleak and lonely existence. He loves living through you. It starts with just a few check ups on the cute stranger which turns to fill on stalking. Unfortunately work catches up to him, so slim turns to cameras and microchips instead. Suddenly he’s thrown into a world of never ending entertainment! Slim doesn’t care if you find someone else and fall in love. He’s just here to live through you. You’re his favorite show. Of course if they’re not worthy of you, he can always “vote them off the island”. Why don’t you try that guy over there instead? Other than some strange disappearances, you love a long and somewhat boring life. Although you could never shake that strange feeling of parinoia, like someone is always watching...

#yandere #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #mafiatale #mafiaswap #mafiafell

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vintervittrannerd · 4 years

Text

True as Sarcasm

By @vintervittrannerd for @whotheheckitheheck

Rating: General

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, James “Rhodey” Rhodes

Summary: The first time he said it, it was pure sass. But over time, the word started to feel more and more true, until Peter realizes that’s what Tony has become to him. A dad.

This is for @friendly-neighborhood-exchange, you can read it on Ao3 here :)

The first time he said it, it was pure sass.

He had been back as Spider-man for a few weeks, after the month-long grounding he had gotten after May found out about him swinging around Queens stopping crime after school.

The grounding had been a compromise. May had been absolutely furious with everyone when she first found out (Peter still winced at the memory of her shouting at Tony for what seemed like hours) and had forbidden Peter from going out as Spider-man ever again. Peter had been certain that that had been the end. Once May made up her mind, she very rarely changed it, and she had been angry enough that not even Peter’s otherwise quite successful puppy eyes had worked. But to his astonishment, Tony had, after letting May finishing her shouting, somehow convinced her to let Peter continue his vigilantism.

There had to be rules of course. Peter wasn’t entirely happy with all of them, but May and Tony had been in agreement and there was no way Peter could change their minds once they had teamed up against him. The rules included strict curfews for patrolling (10pm on school nights and midnight on weekends), school and homework had to come first, he had to make time for his friends and family, and his sleeping schedule had to still be appropriate for a teenager (though Peter suspected he had quite different views on appropriate bedtimes for a 15 year old than the adults had). He also had to get some actual training, which resulted in an agreement that he should spend every other weekend at the Avengers compound and train with any of the remaining Avengers (which meant either Tony or Rhodey, or occasionally Vision if he was there). He also had to continue his patrol reports, but now directly to Tony, and was under no circumstances allowed to tone down or hide an injury of any kind. Not that he could hide it anyway, because Karen kept a log and reported directly to FRIDAY, and if she deemed any injury severe it would alert Tony the minute it happened. Peter was not very happy about this particular rule, but found it best not to try and hack Karen again. At least not so soon. He figured he would give it a few months at least, and then he and Ned could see if they couldn’t change Karen’s coding without Friday (or Tony) noticing.

And then there was the grounding. Peter had hoped that the, in his opinion, absurd number of rules would be enough of a punishment, but May did not agree.

“The rules are just to let you be Spider-man at all. The grounding is for lying to my face for months.”

Peter couldn’t really argue with that, and besides he did feel bad for lying to her, so he accepted his punishment with minimal complaint.

And when he was finally allowed back out as Spider-man, things had been so different from how they’d been before the Vulture incident that Peter didn’t quite know how he should behave. Mr. Stark had taken a much bigger part in his life, way beyond what he actually had to according to his deal with May. Not only did he listen to all of Peter’s patrol reports, but he seemed to take a genuine interest in Peter's life, chatting with him about school and friends and Legos. He’d also started to invite Peter to the compound more often, not just for his training sessions, but to work in the lab with him and one time just for a movie night (Tony had claimed that he just needed a third person so a majority could vote against Rhodey's movie suggestions, but after a few minutes of mock betrayal when Peter sided with Rhodey, he had just decided that voting was a bad idea anyway and they should just take turns choosing what to watch on movie nights). And Peter found that he grew more and more comfortable around Mr. Stark, his nervousness and insecurity slipping away and being replaced by a familiarity that he hadn’t expected but definitely welcomed.

Which was how, a few weeks after he’d been allowed out as Spider-man again, Peter found himself in the compound kitchen after a training session with Rhodey while Tony cut up bread rolls and fussed over Peter like a mother hen.

“Have you eaten yet? It’s important to eat after you’ve trained, especially with your metabolism. We don’t want you passing out on us now, do we? Also, water,” Tony tosses a water bottle at Peter and then continues to rummage around in the fridge, pulling out a package of roast beef “you need plenty of water after working out, so drink up.”

Peter can’t help himself, the situation of THE Tony Stark preparing a sandwich for him and pestering him about drinking water is so surreal that the sass just slips out.

“Yes dad.”

Rhodey snorts behind him and Tony turns to glare at the both of them.

“Very funny. But I have a deal with your scary Aunt and she will have my head if I break it. And I happen to be rather fond of my head.”

“Your deal includes making sandwiches?”

“My deal includes keeping you alive” Tony says with a stern look at Peter, who has a very hard time keeping himself from laughing. “Now shut up and eat your food.”

Peter rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest. He is starving after all.

***

It becomes a thing after that.

In fairness, Peter only sarcastically calls him dad when Tony is really helicopter parenting. In other words, all the time.

And really, who can blame Peter? Tony is, after all, the worst case of helicopter parent that Peter’s ever seen. Seriously, Peter has had four parents during his fifteen years on this planet and none of them has been quite as overprotective as his mentor is.

Peter doesn’t really mind it though. It’s kinda nice to have someone else that looks out for him, besides May. It’s mostly just a fun thing to mock Tony with, especially since he insists that he’s not a helicopter parent and is just being a “responsible adult” (at that, Rhodey had laughed so hard that he nearly fell of the chair he was sitting on and Tony had thrown a half-made sandwich at him).

He doesn’t know when or how it happened. But somewhere during the months of lab days and movie nights and texting each other stupid jokes, the “dad” had stopped being sarcastic and started being…something more. Peter wasn’t really sure what it was, only that Tony fricking Stark, Iron-man, genius, billionaire, philanthropist and arguably the best Avenger, had stopped feeling like just a mentor and started to feel something that was much closer to a real dad. It terrified Peter, but at the same time it made him feel safe and calm. Like he had someone he could lean on. Someone who would never leave him to face the world alone.

And that was precisely the reason he was terrified. Because Peter knew all too well that father figures did leave, even if it was unwillingly. His first father, Richard Parker, had left, died in a plane crash when Peter was four and he still missed him terribly sometimes. His other father, Uncle Ben, had also left, bleeding to death in an alley while Peter held him. And the grief he had for Ben was something he couldn’t even put words on, because it was mixed with guilt. Guilt, because he was the reason Ben had been in that alley in the first place. Guilt, because even with his powers, Peter couldn’t save his life. And guilt, because even though Ben had been his father in every sense of the word and he had loved him so much, Peter had never told him. He’d never called Ben Dad, or told him that he saw him as a father. In his mind, Peter knew Ben must have known anyway, just as Peter knew Ben had seen him as a son even if he never said so. But in his heart, there’s still a stab of guilt. He should’ve told Ben. He should’ve told him how much he meant to Peter.

Peter Parker knows that father figures leave, unexpectedly and painfully, and he knows the guilt that can follow. He knows he can’t always prevent the leaving, but he can prevent the guilt of never telling. And so, he starts to make a plan.

***

Peter has never been this nervous in his entire life. He almost asks Happy to turn the car around and take him back to the apartment at least twelve times on his way to the compound, and when the elevator doors open up to reveal the corridor that leads to the lab, he almost asks FRIDAY to take him back up again.

But he doesn’t. He steps out of the elevator with the small gift bag clutched in one hand and takes a deep breath. He reminds himself that he’s a superhero and that he’s supposed to be brave and that really, this shouldn’t even be something to be afraid of in the first place. Really, it’s just a small present. It’s just Tony. It just happens to be Father’s Day.

Tony looks up from his workbench when Peter enters the lab and blinks several times at him. He looks disheveled and tired and Peter suspects that he has spent at least the past 24 hours in the lab.

“Peter? Is something wrong? Wait, shit, did I miss that this was a compound weekend?”

He looks stressed and guilty enough that Peter rushes to reassure him.

“Oh, no, everything’s fine! Just… Rhodey said you weren’t busy today” (actually Rhodey’s exact words had been “It’ll do him good to be dragged out of his lab for a while, he could use the break”) “and so I asked Happy to drive me here cause… uhm, I just… I wanted to… I-I mean I just thought…” Why can’t he form a full sentence? His brain refuses to be of any help at all, so Peter gives up on trying and just holds out the gift bag to Tony “Here.”

Tony accepts the bag with an odd look on his face. “What’s this?” When Peter just blushes and doesn’t answer, Tony carefully pulls the gift out of the bag.

It’s a mug, the kind of mug that you could get in any gift shop, red with the words “World’s Greatest Dad” written on it. Only Peter had made it a bit more personal and had drawn a small golden Ironman helmet to the side and added the word Iron, so the mug now says “World’s Greatest IronDad”. Tony’s eyes go wide when he sees it. He stares at it, blinks slowly and continues staring as if he can’t quite believe it’s real.

Peter wonders if it is too much. If it is too little. If Tony will just assume it is a joke gift. If, maybe, it would be better if he thinks it’s a joke gift.

Tony is still staring at the mug.

Peter thinks maybe he hates it. Maybe he’ll look at Peter and tell him to take his mug and all its implications and get out of his lab. Maybe he’ll distance himself from Peter again. Maybe…

Tony sniffs and turns away, blinking furiously and swiping a hand at his eyes.

Now it’s Peter’s turn to stare.

“Mr. Stark…are you…are you crying?”

“No” Tony sniffs again, and his voice sounds suspiciously shaky. “It’s just that the air in here is very dry and it makes my eyes water. It’s a perfectly normal thing.”

“The air humidity is at a very normal level,” FRIDAY comments. “It should not affect your eyes in any way, boss.”

Tony glares at the ceiling and mutters something that sounds like “snitch”. Peter can’t stop himself from snorting and Tony turns his glare at him instead. However, the glare quickly melts into a look so soft and full of love that not even Peter's overanxious brain can doubt it. And finally, he dares to say the words he came here to say, the simple yet terrifying words he’d turned over and over in his head, wondering if he had any right to say them. The look in Tony's eyes wipes away all of Peter’s worries. So, he says it, and he means every single word.

“Happy Father’s Day, dad.”

#vintervittran writes #friendly neighbourhood exchange #i have no idea what this is to be honest #its just 2k words of fluff #like so much fluff #(and a tiny bit of angst just cause i couldn't help myself)#but really its mostly fluff #tony acting as peters father figure #peter calls tony dad #and its sarcastic #until its not #fathers days gifts #tony is a helicopter parent #irondad #fanfiction #peter parker #tony stark

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whitehotharlots · 3 years

Text

The triumph of lunacy

There’s a trend in the social justice sphere that encapsulates the self-defeating idiocy of our present moment. During official meetings meant to address or raise awareness of issues of racial justice, all the white people present are expected to call themselves racist, provide examples of their racism, and explain what they’re doing to avoid being racist in the future.

I am not exaggerating, and this is as cult-like as it sounds: to enter into the discussion, you must start by saying “My name is Mark, and I’m a racist.”

This is not a fringe activity. It’s a completely mainstream part of racial justice programming. A student in Nevada is suing his school after administrators threatened to deny him graduation because he refused to call himself racist. A quick twitter search reveals dozens of examples (which I am omitting to avoid accusations of “generating death threats” or whatever), and this has been covered extensively in right wing media. This is mainstream, even if we want to pretend that it’s not.

Now, looking at this just in the abstract, a few seconds of scrutiny shows us how idiotic and self-defeating this practice is. I accept the notion that everyone is prejudiced to some degree and that most white Americans receive some structural advantages in some spaces. In this very obscure sense, you can argue that all white people are racist. Fine. But if a term is applied to literally everyone and everything, it loses its utility. If everyone is racist, then “racist” is a meaningless designation.

In practice, however, this is even more insane than it sounds. Because of course the purveyors and participants in these ritualistic humiliation sessions don’t really think that everyone is racist. If they did, they wouldn’t go through the ritual. Obviously, the people calling themselves racist are being coerced into doing so. Every person who says “My name is Mary, and I’m a racist” is thinking in the back of their head that they’re not really racist, that this confession serves as an act of ablution. And, in a truly lunatic twist of irony, the people who are regarded as racist after these sessions are the ones who did not call themselves racist.

Madness. Absolute madness.

This is precipitated, of course, by guilt. White liberals realize, correctly, the the world is fucked. The politicians and organizations that putatively represent their views have done the opposite and accelerated widespread brutality. The man who invented mass incarceration was sold as the only way to avoid “fascism.” There’s no hope of a more decent future. They feel like shit and will do anything, even self-flagellation, to glimpse the feeling that maybe they’re kind of sort of partway making the world less horrible. They’re not--objectively, this type of gross bullshit is alienating, makes non-insane people disengage with the movement, and has been empirically proven to reduce empathy and make people more hateful. But they feel a little better for doing it.

Beyond guilt, however, lies coercion. I’ll bet the vast, vast majority of people who have subjected themselves to these struggle sessions didn’t believe a word they were saying but were just going along to avoid getting in trouble. Personally, I’m not going to lose my job and my healthcare just to avoid a few moments of cynical embarrassment. Very few people would.

It was just today that I realized how commonplace this type of dishonesty has become. If you live or work in a liberal space, ask yourself this question: how many times in the last few years have you professed a belief in something you knew was crazy? How many times have you been made to signal approval for ideas that you knew to be harmful, impossible, or reactionary in order to avoid being branded an Enemy of Social Justice? How many times have you stayed silent and let yourself be bullied into feigning support for policies and procedures that contradict your beliefs?

More than a few, I’ll bet. Now ask yourself: what has been gained from this? Is the world more just or safe or equal than it was before this type of shit was made commonplace? Do you have more hope for the future, or less?

The only political effect of this normalization of dishonesty has been the ascendance of the most reactionary faction of the Democrat party. A left that had not been trained to hate itself would not have voted for Joe Biden.

This is what happens when a movement places zero value upon honesty and decency. When all conflict becomes understood as abuse, when all criticism is regarded as violence, the most sociopathic and violent members of a community are the ones who get to set the agenda. No one can push back. No one can dissent. The demand for absolute uniformity cripples the movement’s ability to accomplish anything beyond enriching a handful of the very worst people on earth.

We did this to ourselves, and I worry we might be past the point of no return. Just a few months ago I still held some hope that we might see a turn around, that saner and more decent voices might take control and actualize our widespread disgust and discontent toward policies that would actually help people. That’s not going to happen. The sociopaths have won. Their candidate is president, their ideology is mandatory, and their ability to hurt anyone who crosses them is stronger than ever.

Joe Biden will be the most austerity-minded president since Herbert Hoover. His reign is going to be disastrous for everyone, especially those who are already vulnerable. His supporters, secure in their positions within media and NGOs and academe, will need to fabricate more scapegoats to explain away the failures and brutalities of their leader--to convince everyone that they deserve the punishment they are receiving. They’re going to demand and receive more intrusive means of ensuring ideological uniformity. And there’s nothing we can do to stop them.

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sanjuno · 4 years

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how do you reckon things would change if Obito and Kakashi remembered their past lives as Izuna and Kanna? (And have you given a past incarnation of Rin in the Warring Era?)

… @deverickracoma you mean, like in canon? Huhhhh…

Well first off before Rin was Nohara Rin she was Senju Touka. Which makes this situation super fun because both Izuna and Kanna died before Hashirama strong armed Konoha into existence and Touka only went along with it because Her Stupid Little Cousins Need Some Common Sense. XP

In her lives as both as Touka and as Rin she holds the single (1) braincell for this Disaster Trio.

So Izuna dies via Tobirama’s sword. And then Kanna kinda… revenge rampages with Madara until the critical angst threshold is reached as Kanna just… explodes both theirself and the battlefield.

There’s a whole lot of background stuff behind the suicide run such as Kanna’s Hatake side suffering from mate-loss depression and their Uchiha side suffering from Makengyou Madness and also Really Bad post-partum depression compounding it and yeah. Unfortunately Madara is just as wrecked from Izuna’s death so he can’t really support Kanna and it all goes to shit because we all know canon is a shitshow.

But anyway Touka is there to see Izuna die and she is well aware that Tobirama has just made a horrible decision driven by unacknowledged jealously and overzealous paranoia. Then Touka barely manages to save Tobirama’s pasty ass from the screaming revenge demon that she later learns was Izuna’s wife. And then Touka stands witness as Hashirama forces peace at sword point.

So Touka is just there like, “Oh for fucks sake we’re all going to die horribly.”

And, of course, Touka was right everything is horrible and everything hurts.

Only now it’s plot-twist time and Touka, who was investigating certain questionable sources about the ongoing breakdown of social order in Konoha gets killed by Zetsu in order to cause even more tension against the Uchiha in Konoha and hey guess what? Yeah, that’s right Rin remembers the creepy plant-demon thing gloating about stealing Uchiha Madara (aka the only one vaguely strong enough to combat Kaguya at that time given he had naturally manifested the Rinnegan) for his own use before Zetsu killed her in a suspiciously ambiguous manner.

Shit.

Fuck.

Four year old Nohara Rin has a vendetta and the ability to kill a grown man.

So obviously given that the Plant Demon is trying to kill off the Uchiha using shadowy assassinations and rumour mongering the Plant Demon is afraid of the Uchiha. Ergo the Uchiha are a threat to the Plant Demon otherwise it would confront the Uchiha more openly.

So.

Rin therefore needs to make super-duper ride-or-die best friends forever with at least one (1) Uchiha. And then, on the first day at the Academy, Rin runs into an absolute dork wearing Madara’s face.

Ah. Says Rin, channelling canon!Madara. That One. That’s The One I Need For My Plan To Succeed.

Cue the Rin and Obito Bonding Moment ™ that will repeat as a flashback every time their history is at any point mentioned in the narrative.

As for Obito, well… when he was Izuna he loved his Clan but then when he was reborn he read the Clan Histories from after his death and the public history of Konoha and Obito knows his Clan are a bunch of fucking traitors who stabbed his big brother in the back and that’s why Obito is both disgusted by the Uchiha and overprotective of the Clan’s reputation because Madara still loved their Clan even after they turned on him.

I may include Obito unearthing Madara’s private journals from a hidden cubby in the Naka Shrine that only Izuna would have known to look for. Just for the sake of an extra knife and also so that Obito can find proof of Zetsu’s sabotaging his brother’s mental health.

Obito is more than a little weepy and sentimental over the fact that Madara honoured Izuna’s last request to the point Madara destroyed himself and his connection to the Clan. Obito can’t blame Madara for giving in when Hashirama forced peace to try and protect the few loyal Clan members who remained. Obito decides to protect Konoha and the Uchiha because he won’t let Madara’s last wish go unfulfilled but he’s going to become the fucking Hokage and tear out all the Senju-inflicted rot infecting his Big Brother’s Dream.

Obito is openly disdainful of the Clan Elders and the only people he even vaguely respects is the Head Family. Mostly because Mikoto is descended from Izuna’s daughter and even though Izayoi married “Tobirama’s student Kagami” she was still his baby girl and Mikoto is his great-grand daughter and he loves her because she’s his family.

Mikoto, Obito, and Shisui are all descendants of Kagami and Izayoi’s kids so they’re second-third cousins. Obito spends a lot of time pondering the overlap of self-care and I-love-my-grandbabies. It’s a fun little exercise in existentialism.

In the meantime Kakashi is still a little shit-disturber of the highest order. Kanna was taught all the fun Uchiha Clan Skills as Izuna’s wife and now Kakashi has learned all the fun Hatake Clan Skills from Sakumo and the little bastard is even more terrifying than canon. Kakashi is more gender-fluid than agender the way Kanna was though which is a fun new flavour of dysphoria-through-reincarnation that I’ll probably enjoy exploring.

Now, this does mean that Kakashi starts wearing his mask before Sakumo gets scapegoated which is a minor yet still significant change from Kakashi’s canon characterization-and-motivations.

So Kakashi blitzes their way through the Academy in like, 6 months because Kakashi has negative chill and an understandably paranoid focus on keeping their dad alive this time around. The only people Kakashi respects are the Military Police and their Dad everyone else can perish. Minato is A Constant Despair because he cannot control this sassy hell child Sakumo-sempai pls tell your son to l i s t e n t o m e.

Sakumo-sempai goes “LOL nope” because Sakumo is also a troll but is better at hiding it than Kakashi is.

So Rin and Obito are BFFs then Kakashi rips through their class like ground lightning and the sparring scene happens but the kickback of Uchiha-memories manifesting as body action means the spar is a familiar dance and so Obito is like “OMG K a n n a” and cue Obito stalking Kakashi like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush and no concept of personal boundaries.

Enough shenanigans occur to 1. make Team Minato a cohesive and functional thing instead of a train wreck, and 2. keep Sakumo alive because Kakashi recognizes their Dad’s suicidal tendencies for what they are and so they set their ninken up as watchdogs to make sure Sakumo doesn’t do anything stupid. Because Kakashi’s biggest regret is leaving Madara and Izayoi to suffer grief without them and they refuse to let that sort of despair take away anyone they care about again.

So now Team Minato is bonding, and they are friends, and they are all slowly coming to the realization that they all remember their previous lives. So they start to share information and gradually piece together where Zetsu’s influence has been applied as they try to figure out what the Plant Demon’s endgame is.

Which means that Team Minato is 100% more paranoid about mission intelligence than they were in canon and also Rin more than ready to gut the Iwa-nin who tries to kidnap her during the Kannabi Bridge Mission so that’s fun. Team Minato has also made a point system for rooting out moles, spies, and traitors to hand over to T&I.

Sarutobi had a lovely headache when the knowledge that Sakumo’s mission had been sabotaged “accidentally” got leaked. (Kakashi had given the old man more than enough time to fix the rumour mill so it’s on Sarutobi’s own head that he didn’t take action before Kakashi did.)

Also Team Chaos Gremlins Minato manages to charm Orochimaru over to their camp via one of Obito’s rage fuelled rants about dismantling the hypocritical indoctrination of the institutionalized status quo. Specifically, the fact that the Hokage is supposed to be a public service position voted on by the people who only really has complete executive power during war time. Instead of a unilateral dictator chosen by the previous Hokage’s undisguised bias and favouritism.

Also because they’re all proof of the reincarnation cycle existing. Orochimaru is living his best life especially when Team Minato trash talks the other two Sannin.

Rin is the Most Offended by Tsunade fucking off and abandoning her responsibilities. Tsunade basically inherited all of Hashirama’s worst traits without any obvious redeeming qualities to balance it out. Because, let’s be honest, the only reason Hashirama got any level of respect is because he was Over Powered to the point of ridiculousness and because Tobirama plus Mito were in charge of his public image.

Kakashi and Obito are both hyper-loyal so having Jiraiya decide to just not come back during wartime and for Tsunade to abandon her responsibilities as a healer and Clan Head has destroyed any possible respect they might have had.

Obviously Orochimaru is the best Sannin so he’s the one they’re going to make friends with. Also they drag Orochimaru back to the Hatake Clan House to commiserate with Sakumo about being the target of a Village wide smear campaign. Which strengthens both Orochimaru and Sakumo’s spirits enough to resist their Bad Endings from canon.

All of this basically allows Team Minato to have the leverage to track down Zetsu’s creeper cave and they find Madara trapped and blinded and leashed to the Gedo Mezo, and Obito nearly has a world-destroying breakdown. Rin stands guard while Obito and Kakashi have a tearful reunion with Madara and there’s a lot of dramatic apologizing and sobbing.

They all know that they can’t leave Madara here with Zetsu, but detaching him means he’s going to die. Eventually Madara makes the decision himself to break the connection because he refuses to be used as a hostage against his little brother. So Madara tells Obito where his eyes are (which means that the Ame trio are going to get kidnapped by Team Minato eventually) plus a run-down of all the subversive plots Zetsu has had a hand in, and then Madara outright smashes the statue.

Normally nothing would be able to destroy the Gedo Mezo given that it’s basically the fossilized corpse of a god but Madara is currently part of it which means that the statue’s defences don’t realize Madara is a threat. So, statue goes boom, the cave starts to collapse, and Team Minato runs away with Madara’s body so they can give him a respectful burial.

Zetsu has approximately ten thousand aneurysms in the space of one (1) second.

From here the kickback really starts to pile up because Obito now makes a habit of dropping in on newborn Uchiha to check and see if Madara’s been reborn yet. Which means that Sasuke has a really invested older cousin hanging around to take Itachi’s place when Itachi make dumb decisions.

Rin is grumpy because basically every Clan who joined Konoha had a bunch of Senju marry into their Clan so finding Hashirama’s reincarnation is basically impossible. (And then, of course, Naruto is born and Rin faceplams 1000 times because of fucking course.)

Kakashi is laughing at both of them. Right up until they take command of Team 7 and notice a hated familiar chakra under the skin of a pink haired little girl. (All three members of Team Minato nearly die laughing because Tobirama is a pink haired little girly girl heeeeee~)

Anyway aside from all the family drama Team Minato also manages to dispose of Danzo and exposes his “plot against the Hokage”, boosting Sakumo’s public image to the point he gets named as the Fourth, fixing the stigma Orochimaru faced despite being the only loyal member of the Sannin, and basically terrorizing Konoha with Political Activism.

Zetsu probably goes a bit around the bend thanks the Team Minato destroying all his hopes and dreams plans. Also they keep putting the pressure on and exposing Zetsu’s schemes and eventually that gains enough momentum that the other Villages are taking a good hard look at shit that’s going down and hey wait w h a t t h e f u c k …

Obito eventually takes over as the Fifth Hokage and tears apart the corrupt government systems like a Tasmanian Devil going through a rotting carcass because Big Brother’s Dream Will Become A Reality B E L I E V E I T !

The End. XP

#Sanjuno talks back #the memory remains #Sanjuno metafic #reincarnation AUs

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spoppersonality · 4 years

Text

How MBTI & Enneagram affect character relatability

I have a theory, and I’m going to illustrate it with the help of Adora and Shadow Weaver. I also have a personal story there.

Fun fact:

I share an MBTI type with Shadow Weaver (INFJ)

and an Enneagram type with Adora (Social 9w1).

(Not going to go into more specific subtypes right now.)

What makes this interesting to me, is how I am, in this case, pretty much a perfect example of how people tend to relate to fictional characters with similar Enneagrams, rather than similar MBTI types. My “evidence” is anecdotal of course, but I have noticed a pattern there. I think this tendency is at least one of the reasons behind some interesting phenomena in fandom and might set some light to questions like why some characterizations are more popular in fanfiction than others. (Such as why people write characters like Keith, Sasuke, Zuko and Catra as artsy emos.) But I digress. (Might get into that another time, though.)

I had watched SPOP about three times before it even crossed my mind that Shadow Weaver shared a personality type with me. While it was apparent to me the first time around, that I shared a personality type with Adora. So, why? Because one is a hero, and one is a villain, and I would rather identify with the hero?

That seems like a nice and clean answer, but I don’t think it’s quite that simple.

I think it has more to do with how I, and I think most people, relate to fiction from an emotional point of view. We tend to watch and read stories for emotional reasons, more than intellectual ones. Not that intellectual reasons don’t play a part, just that the driving force is often emotional. We’re looking to connect emotionally with the characters, otherwise we would be watching a documentary or reading a science book instead. At least that’s how it works for me, and in my experience, a lot of other people.

MBTI is about cognition, while Enneagram is about motivation. Sometimes I like to distinguish MBTI as your “intellectual type” and Enneagram as your “emotional type”. At least from that angle, it makes perfect sense, that we would relate to a character with a similar emotional type: a similar Enneagram, when we are immersed in something with our emotions.

And this is true of MBTI “thinkers” and “feelers” alike. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen INTPs claim Sherlock Holmes simply MUST be an INTP because they relate to him. When I first got into MBTI, I was guilty of that too. I thought every character I emotionally related to, was an INFJ. LOL, NOPE. I just didn’t know anything about Enneagram. After getting into that, I can easily see that the characters I most relate to, tend to have a very similar Enneagram type to mine.

Actually, it was the fact that I related to Adora so much that made me especially blind to the possibility that I might relate to Shadow Weaver in any way. That’s why I find this personal example so juicy. It’s because in the emotional dynamic between Adora and Shadow Weaver, I related to Adora a 100% and then some. I’ve had my Shadow Weavers, and reacted to them in a way a Social 9w1 will. We are people pleasers because we lack a solid sense of self, and we do exactly as we are told to avoid conflict, separation and loss (our worst fear).

In the worst case scenario, we believe we need to constantly excuse our very existence.

(Like seriously, it can get ridiculous. When I was around ten, if I was at a friend’s house, I didn’t have it in myself to ask for a glass of water if I was thirsty. Even when it was offered to me without asking, I found it hard to accept, because I had done nothing to pay for that water. Even though I live in a country with the best access to clean water in the world, so one glass of water costs practically nothing.)

Given all that, it makes sense that I wouldn’t even consider relating to Shadow Weaver, because to me she very much represents everything toxic that I experienced as a child and needed to unlearn in adulthood.

But after taking a step back from that emotional angle, it’s pretty easy for me to see that cognitively speaking, I’m not Adora, who is an ESTJ. I’m pretty much the polar opposite. Which is Shadow Weaver, as weird as it feels to me.

As INFJs, we are very good at understanding another person’s psychological make up. We easily take anyone’s point of view and use that to influence the people around us. We don’t naturally gravitate towards the spotlight or a leadership role, we are at our most effective in one-on-one communication.

Obviously, Shadow Weaver uses all this to manipulate and abuse people, to get her way and her narcissistic supply. I use it to help my friends see their problems more accurately, and themselves in an encouraging light. (And to write fiction!) Shadow Weaver uses it to cause conflict between people by distorting their view of reality, I use it to ease conflict by an attempt to bring more clarity.

But that doesn’t mean we are not both INFJs, because we definitely are. Upon a closer look, I find many things about Shadow Weaver relatable.

She’s definitely an introvert driven by her internal vision, her idea of power, and she’s thinking leaps ahead, like she does the moment she sees Adora as a baby. (Ni) She’s a great communicator, but it’s more of a means to an end to her than it is a passion. (Fe) It seems like the very concept of power interests her more than what practical things she can do with it (Ti).

And her vision is SO MUCH BIGGER than her abilities. That’s exactly how I’ve felt my whole life, because inferior Se will do that to you. You don’t see the step-by-step approach to your GRAND VISION even though you can see the end result so clearly in your head that you swear you can touch it. Your insight can be so accurate that you can (deliberately, or accidentally) make people think you’re connected to some mystical higher power even though you’re mostly just full of sh*t (=ideas, abstractions).

It’s like, your whole life, you’ve been working towards one goal, one vision, that is just on the other side of a river, but you CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW to get across. If you could JUST do that, then on the other side ALL your dreams would come true, everything you’ve worked for, for your entire life would COME TOGETHER in pure AWESOMENESS because you’ve been thinking, and planning and fantasizing and putting all of your mental energy into it, and just aching to get across that river. And then, a f*cking ESTP (Catra) shows up, farts a bridge, gets to the other side, and once they’re there, they have NO. CLUE. WHAT. THE F*CK. THEY. ARE. EVEN. DOING. THERE.

I’m getting carried away.

Emotionally, or, motivationally speaking I don’t relate to Shadow Weaver. Like, at all. I couldn’t care less about having power over other people. I can’t bear the thought of hurting another person. (I still cry at night sometimes because I once called my brother’s helmet “stupid” as a child, when he was annoying me.) I don’t need to be the most powerful or put others down in order to feel whole. The idea of hindering someone’s growth into their happiest and truest self is horrifying to me.

But still, my brain works similarly to hers. I’m full of ideas that are connected to the same big vision I’ve had my entire life, but getting there efficiently enough requires a lot more brain work and trial and error from me than some other types.

Emotionally speaking I relate to Adora so much. I get anxious if I’m not constantly doing something “useful”. I feel responsible for other people’s happiness. I feel tremendous guilt every time I have to say “no” to someone in order to rest and take care of myself. I feel like a failure when I’m not able to fix someone’s problem. I feel obligated to sacrifice myself because I “can”. When I was voted the least desirable girl in my class, I was just relieved it wasn’t anyone else, because I knew my friends would have shattered if it were them. (Hint: it wasn’t because I had better self-esteem. It was because my self-esteem wasn’t a concern for me in the first place.)

And yet, I’m also nothing like Adora when it comes to cognitive make up. It would be interesting to dive deep into why the ESTJ 9 combination is totally fascinating for me, but this post is too long for that already.

My point is:

1) In terms of relatability in fiction, Enneagram might play a bigger role than MBTI.

2) Sometimes people get into heated arguments about a character’s type because they can only see a character they relate to, as their own type, and that’s intellectually dishonest. (As a personality junkie, I care.)

3) It’s OKAY to relate to a character with a different MBTI from you. MBTI is not everything. Enneagram is not everything either. There might be another reason.

4) Sometimes people seem to feel like they need to be like their favourite character in EVERY way, to justify their experience of relating to that character. Well, you don’t. Having the same cognitive type doesn’t automatically lead to the same motivational type, or the same life experiences, or the same relationship style or the same neurotype, or anything else. These can all be different, and your experience is valid no matter where the relatability comes from.

5) If you relate to a character, there’s a reason for it, and you’ll get the most out of it, if you try to discover that reason as honestly as possible and not automatically assume it must be your MBTI (or something else). Those four letters are not the most important thing about anyone, so you don’t need those to “claim” a character to your side of things.

6) You have no obligation to emotionally relate to a character with the same type as yours. I can assure you my feelings towards Shadow Weaver did not become any warmer after discovering we shared an MBTI type, and that’s okay too.

#spop mbti #spop enneagram #adora #shadow weaver #infj #type 9 #pictures from comics by me

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humanmoodring-retired · 4 years

Text

Let the Right One In || Adam, Blanche, Connor, and Nadia(x2)

TIMING: Following this LOCATION: A clearing near Mooseventures PARTIES: @humanmoodring, @walker-journal, @connorspiracy, & @harlowhaunted SUMMARY: Adam, Connor, and Blanche have a final confrontation with Nadia and Cordelia. CONTENT: Emotional turmoil, non-con (forcefully tied up)

Sometimes, being alive was a bitch, Nadia was beginning to realize as the burly young man that had kidnapped her dragged her back to where she’d camped near that moose tour place. “Oh, you are on my shit list, motherfucker,” she snarled, attempting to struggle out of his grip. The strength just wasn’t quite there. “Do you hear me? My shit list. I will fuck you up.” Internally, she was panicking, not quite sure what was going on. She felt his determination, his resolve. She couldn’t tell where her panic ended and Nadia’s panic began, her host stirring at the corner of her mind as they were led to a clearing. Two other people waited for them, and Nadia struggled harder before she simply allowed her body to become a dead weight. Maybe she could slow him down, distract him. Hell, she’d take anything at this point. She just fucking needed to get away. Let her get away. “Please, stop. You’re hurting me.”

Adam held Nadia and the thing that was within her fast as he marched the possessed Empath into where he prayed Blanche and Connor had set up some kind of magic ghost-extractor wizard circle or whatever. “Alright uh...where do you guys want me to put her,” he said upon bursting in.

Blanche had gotten everything Connor had asked, and more. Actually, it was probably a little overkill. She let Connor set up the circle, while she carefully took the ropes and the obnoxious amount of iron weapons she had. Blanche still felt like this was a horrible idea, and she hadn’t made it a secret that’s how she felt. But Adam and Connor were also right - what else were they going to do? What else could they do? Cordelia couldn’t be allowed to just run rampant with Nadia’s body, she was hurting people and sinking Nadia into deeper shit. Blanche felt her heart sink into her stomach when she heard Adam and Nadia enter the clearing, Cordelia screaming the whole way. Her senses lit up immediately, and her head snapped up, guiltily. “The circle, Adam.” Blanche nodded towards it. “We … have restraints. And I have some iron for you, in case things get out of hand.” She stood, wiping her hands on her jeans, avoiding looking at Nadia. “Do you need me to set anything else up, Connor?”

“This isn’t usually the way I prefer to tie a girl up,” Connor said with a forced chuckle, humor attempting to cover his nerves. They had set up a crudely drawn symbol on the floor in salt that was supposed to help keep her contained and placed a camping cot on top of it. Once Adam had placed her there, he and Blanche started fastening the shackles to hold her in place. Connor’s forehead was already coated in sweat. “Please don’t let her stab us, okay?” he said, handing Adam a shotgun filled with rock salt rounds.”Those should stop her in case she does get out of the restraints.” Even touching a gun gave him an unpleasant twisting feeling in his gut. “And everyone wear one of these.” He handed Adam and Blanche an anti-possession bracelet; a knotted leather band with a vial of salt in the middle. “They’re not a hundred per cent, but they help.”

Fighting and screaming the entire way, Nadia was dragged into the fucking salt circle. That’s when the panic started to set in, her eyes casting wildly at the people around this. “Fuck you. Fuck all of you. When I get out of here, I swear to fucking--” The shackles snapped around her wrist, the iron shooting pain through her body that wasn’t physical but still hurt. She remembered the way it felt to grab the iron rod to stab Kaden, the feeling of part of herself splitting and tearing while still being trapped. She couldn’t leave if she wanted to. It felt like the temperature was lowering around her as her head rolled forward.

Nadia snapped her head up, looking around in a haze of panic and pain. She could feel the shackles, see the three figures around her. This was-- This was a nightmare. This was one of her worst nightmares, to be back there with them and the pain and the overwhelming sense of fear. But this wasn’t the same. She tried to focus, her eyes stinging with tears, tried to look at the people in front of her, finally recognizing one. “Blanche?” Minutely, Nadia felt a bit of relief.

Adam watched Nadia bounce between personas faster more radically then a politician trying to justify their voting record and was struck with a profound sense of unease. The Hunter had been conditioned to face down hungry corpses and mind-bending tentacle things, but those were at least quantifiable and something he could punch in the mandibles. Just watching this invisible battle within an innocent woman’s body made his skin crawl.

He looked down at the shotgun armed with rock-salt payloads that Connor had given him. It’s weight and familiarity was reassuring his hands, but in a way that made Adam guiltily conscious that this was probably wasn’t a good thing.

Adam glanced at Blanche, fighting down the urge to apologize for pushing for this exorcism when he was the least qualified person in this room on things spiritualism-related. He could only guess how awful this whole experience must be after her own period of possession. Adam had been raised to fight past traumatic experiences through repeated exposure, but that was just necessary to make a Hunter. He really hated the thought that he was basically forcing all that on someone else, a friend at that, even if some cold bastard part of his brain acknowledged that it might be necessary here.

His freehand itches at the salt-vial bracelet on his wrist, briefly wondering at the commonality between himself and Connor, in that they were both willing to risk themselves for people they didn’t know. The sinister difference being that Adam would be obligated to destroy or suppress Connor’s work if it actually threatened to expose the supernatural. What gave Adam of all the people the right to drag Connor into this?

‘Necessity,’ mom would have probably said. That always seemed to be the answer didn’t it?

“So what do we need to start this? Where do you want us Connor?”

Blanche winced at Cordelia screamed the whole way, frantically trying to snap the shackles into place, before grabbing the salt bracelet with trembling hands. She was thoroughly terrified, Blanche realized, as she shakily fiddled with the clasp around her wrist. How traumatic would this be for Nadia? The bad feeling gnawed at her insides, and she was struggling to figure out if it was just her fear and anxiety or if this was truly a horrible idea. Probably a mixture of both. Blanche glanced at Adam as the shotgun was passed off. She opened her mouth, as if to say something to him, but she realized she couldn't trust herself to speak. She had no words of encouragement, and the only thing Blanche could hold onto was the hope that Nadia could fight through this.

And then Nadia said her name. Blanche’s eyes snapped to her, truly looking at her for the first time since Adam dragged her in here. She couldn't even imagine what Nadia was going through. Lauren Langley has only taken possession of her for a short time, and thinking about that experience made her sick to her stomach. This was bad. Cordelia and Nadia faded in and out, and Blanche grimaced, remembering her own battle for control with Lauren. She dropped to her knees by Nadia’s side, reaching for her hand before stopping, thinking better of it. “Hi Nadia. It’s Blanche. It’s okay. It’s okay, I promise. This is Connor and Adam.” She spoke quickly and softly, unsure when Cordelia would take control again. “They’re here to help, okay? We’re going to help you.” Blanche glanced at Connor. “Do you need me to back up? Or can I stay with her?”

"Just, uh, stand so we're all evenly spread out around the clearing, just in case she manages to get out." She shouldn't be able to get out, Connor told himself, but bloody hell, it wasn't as if any of these methods were foolproof. Shit happened. Shit had already happened to this poor girl for far too long, and he wasn't exactly an expert at this. His bravado only went so far.

"Nadia," Connor said, trying to get her attention. "Hey, look at me. You don't know me, but I'm going to help you, okay? Just hold on for me. Just focus. Stay strong." He couldn't afford to let her see anything but confidence. He couldn't afford for Adam and Blanche to see it either. Hell, Adam had interviewed him for this bloody position. Their friend's life was in his hands. "You can stay close, but not too close, okay?" He said to Blanche. "If Cordelia is the dominant personality, we don't want to give her any chance of hurting you."

Connor. Adam. Blanche. Nadia said the names over and over again in her head until they blurred together. They wouldn’t hurt her. They wouldn’t hurt her. They wouldn’t. The shackles hurt, the exorcism was going to hurt, but if it freed her from this, this fractured, uncontrollable state where every time she tried to take control, it just seemed to make things worse. Whatever the cost, that would be worth it. “I trust you,” she whispered to Blanche, though she was focusing all of her energy on Connor’s confidence, however false it might be. He seemed far more confident than the last three exorcists she’d met, and they’d done quite a number on her. She had to trust that. She couldn’t panic or scream or focus on the storm that was raging inside of her, controlled by an angry vengeful spirit that, at the moment, only wanted out so that she could harm and take and--

Nadia screamed again, jerking at the shackles no matter how much it pained her to do so. Her lips curled up into a snarl. “You’re going to kill us,” she yelled. The wind was beginning to pick up around them. She laughed, more than a bit hysterical. “You’re going to kill her, and then I’m just going to have to find another fucking body because of how badly you’re all going to screw. This. Up! Let me go!” Another strong yank on the chains. She cried out in pain. That didn’t stop her from fighting. “Let me go!”

Adam stood as directed, wondering if these rock-salt bullets were really supposed to hurt a ghost. Though his face was stonily impassive as Nadia flipped against into the person of the thing inside of her, Adam’s stomach knotted from a profound sense of wrongness. He’d been able to feel the presence of monsters his whole life, experiencing sudden feelings of horror and revulsion towards random people on the street before his parents carefully explained why some people ‘felt like danger.’.Nothing about Nadia registered to his Hunter vibes even as it was clear something was tearing her apartment from the inside.

I trust you. The words hung heavily on Blanche’s shoulders as guilt gnawed at her - Nadia trusted her judgement, and Blanche still wasn’t sold that this was a good idea in the first place. But Connor hadn’t been wrong - they couldn’t let this go on… It just depended on what risk sucked less. Blanche flinched away from Nadia as Cordelia took the reins again. There was a part of her that wanted to soothe them both - as was her responsibility as a medium. But there was nothing soothing Cordelia. What was there to say to someone that couldn’t accept their own death? She just said that if Nadia died, she would find another body to inhabit. There was hypocrisy in her own thought process, considering Blanche had taken part in necromancy. She knew that, but… Well. Blanche certainly wasn’t willing to bring someone back that had caused her friend so much pain. Cordelia needed to move on while she still could - Blanche had told her the risk of becoming a poltergeist. She didn’t think that Cordelia fully understood that she would lose her sense of self, letting anger and resentment fester in her. Connor was outwardly more confident than Blanche felt as she quietly got back to her feet, stepping backward back to her bag where she could grab her iron rod. She hovered over Nadia, glancing towards Connor. “We’re ready to go,” she said, over Nadia’s screaming. It was now or never, anyway.

The way she changed on him, the way she screamed, it made Connor's throat dry, made his chest tighten and stomach twist unpleasantly. "Shut it," he said, firmly. "You'll say anything to keep your hold on her." He swallowed, looking to Blanche and Adam, making sure everyone was prepared. How could you really be prepared though when you didn't know what was going to happen? An exorcism was like stepping into a boxing ring. You could do all the training in the world, and your opponent could throw something at you that you weren't expecting, forcing you into a new strategy mid-fight. "We're ready," he repeated, clutching onto his totem to channel his energy as he started reciting the words.

“You’re a fucking child,” Nadia snarled at the boy as he began chanting, taking a special kind of glee in his emotions before she stopped feeling emotions entirely. Instead it was just pain, an awful ripping feeling as forces beyond her control tried to tear her soul from Nadia’s. She felt like she was unravelling thread. No. No. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t going to happen. Something in Nadia was howling like the wind around them as it picked up speed, as the chanting grew louder. All she could think about was her fury over this, even as she felt Nadia’s soul gaining more agency, more freedom. Their connection was dying. She felt like she was dying. “She screamed!” Nadia told Blanche desperately. “You heard that fucking banshee scream. You’re killing us!” And fuck, fuck, their body was choking on the pain of it all, their heart stopping and starting erratically as their souls fought. And she could feel it, the way Nadia was fighting desperately and likely without even realizing it, just like the first time. Except this wasn’t like the first time. It wasn’t going to be like the fucking first time ever again. Nadia closed her eyes and screamed.

It felt like something was snapping, and then Nadia opened her eyes, looked around to the three figures around her as she had control over herself, for real this time. The sense of relief that she felt was overpowering. She couldn’t even feel the three other people around her. She couldn’t feel anything, actually, not their emotions or her heart beat or even the furious wind ruffling through her hair. In fact, the wind had no effect on her at all, even as she watched it tug at the hair and clothes of Adam, Blanche, and Connor. But it did tug at her hair. Just not in the way she hoped.

If Nadia had a stomach, it would be sinking as she stared into her own eyes. They glared passed her, filled with hate and then a sick sense of glee. Because something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. The exorcism had worked. There was only one soul still in her body. Too bad it was the wrong fucking soul.

Nadia began laughing wildly as soon as she realized what happened. These fucking children… they’d helped her win. She could see Nadia standing in front of her, a fucking mirror image. Except she’d never looked that horrified. Something in her had changed. She felt powerful, on top of the world. And yet her body felt pushed to the limits. Well, she was about to push it even more. With a burst of energy that she couldn’t explain, she pushed out a force of energy, snapping the shackles around her wrist and breaking the circle around her. She stood, wind blowing her hair around her madly, and she grinned at the kids, at the ghost of Nadia Diaz. “Looks like you killed her after all. Your move, kids.”

Adam, who couldn’t see ghosts, had watched the proceedings with uncomprehending eyes as this woman shrieked and convulved while Connor made it all windy with Latin.

No joke, it was definitely impressive and genuinely eerie in a way that brought on goosebumps, but it was pretty clear that he only saw half the story here. Ethereal energies seemed to tear at the physical space within the circle, Connor’s resonant chant bringing forces to bear in a world beyond Adam’s perception. The Hunter’s brown eyes darted between the two wills doing battle in this otherworldly gale, unsure if the shrieking and Twister vibes were a good sign.

It was only when the twisted remains of the shackles clattered to the concrete by his feet that Adam started to get some real bad vibes. “Killed her,” he shouted over the wind, “so the spirit’s out of her?”

Her stony expression didn’t at all as she watched the exorcism with a sort of morbid fascination - like watching a car crash, almost. Blanche had only seen one other exorcism before, but she had sort of been paying attention to other things - like the demented house that wanted to eat her and Morgan, while Cassie got rid of it. This was worse, though. Cordelia fought tooth and nail to keep Nadia’s body. She should feel more empathy for her, Blanche knew, but it was so hard when Cordelia had done such terrible things to the people she loved. Granny would chide her, probably. But as Cordelia’s (Nadia’s?) scream ripped through the air, she was jekred out of her thoughts, narrowing her eyes as she felt the shift of power.

Blanche’s stomach twisted into a cold terror, ice in her veins as she felt Cordelia cross the threshold. Her skin crawled with the same intensity Lauren Langley’s spirit form gave her, and Blanche realized that Cordelia had turned into a poltergeist. I told you. Blanche wanted to snarl. I told you what would happen if you didn’t listen to me! But the words were caught in her throat as the wind howled hardly hearing Adam’s words. She looked between Nadia and Nadia’s body. Her heart sank.

“He exorcised the wrong spirit…” Blanche said faintly. “He - He exorcised the wrong spirit!” Her voice rose in volume, matching Adam’s shout as she whirled on Connor, breaking the circle. “I told you! I told you she wasn’t strong enough!! - Put Nadia back in her body!” Blanche pointed at Nadia - her spirit, that is. “Put her back! You have to -” Oh shit. What the hell were they going to do with Nadia - er, Cordelia now?! Her head snapped to Cordelia, and Blanche took another step forward, practically seeing red. “Don’t move!” she snarled. She would fight her herself if she had to. Cordelia wasn’t making another fucking move.

Connor's blood was ice. He didn't know what Banshee she was talking about, or why she'd screamed, but the idea chilled him to the bone. What if she was right? What if he was killing her? No, he told himself. That was exactly what the ghost wanted them to think. She wanted to get into their heads, get them off-guard. 'Don't listen!' he wanted to say, but he just continued with the recital.

The scream tore through the clearing. Nobody was there to hear it but them, and still it seemed to bounce off the surrounding trees in a preternatural echo-chamber, making Connor's very bones vibrate. Then, just as quickly as it had got loud, it was quiet again, as if the micro-storm brewing around them had suddenly died. Then, he heard the ghost speak. 'You've killed her after all'. His eyes widened, and he threw a handful of salt at Not-Nadia's body in his anger. "Shut up! She's not dead. She's--" He stared at Blanche. "She's not. She can't be." And then, he saw her, floating there. "Oh, bloody hell." He held up his hands defensively. “It wasn’t my fault, okay? I did everything like I was supposed to!” But it wasn’t him Blanche was ready to fight. “Don’t! Nadia still needs a body to go back to.”

This, Nadia decided, was what it felt like to be all powerful. She felt like she was on top of the world. It was exhilarating. It was dizzying. It was… a child, throwing salt at her like she was a goddamn snail. “Wrong fucking answer.” God, though, she felt fucking amazing. There was nothing more than static where a host was supposed to be, she had full control. Shit, this was it. This was winning. “I think I’m done here. I appreciate all the help, really.” She shot Blanche a savage grin. “Couldn’t have done this one without you, Melinda.” With a burst of telekinetic energy at the three unsuspecting kids, Nadia walked through the broken circle and out to freedom. She walked through the ghost of Nadia Diaz, now nothing more than a mere presence. She should’ve learned not to fight her. She should have learned. Nadia always won, in the end.

Nadia gasped as her own body walked though her as if she was nothing. It didn’t feel like anything, but the sense of discomfort lingered. She couldn’t focus on it. “Just let-- fuck! Just let her go! Blanche, she’ll kill you! She’ll kill you!” And she would. Nadia wasn’t even in her body to put up a shred of resistance. The ghost, Cordelia, Janet, whatever she wanted to be called, something was wrong with her now, and Nadia feared what would happen to them if they tried to stop her. She was on a warpath, and Adam, Blanche, and Conner were just kids. There was no way they could take her on. “Please!”

While Adam figured he could kill this thing if he really had to, the Hunter didn’t raise up the shotgun. Killing a possessed person was honestly terrority he’d never thought about before. If this really was an empty vessel with a monster inside it...maybe? The actual exorcist here didn’t want them to harm the body though, which stopped Adam from beginning to unload shotgun rounds into what was essentially stolen property.

If Adam had been along he might’ve totally gone for it, but the cold tactical logic the Hunter had been raised with figured that Blanche or Connor would probably die or close to it in that altercation. Their defensive magic was broken. Blanche was unfocused. Connor was probably tapped out. The Nadia-thing had crazy telekinetic powers in a warehouse with ample bits of rebar to impale people with. Adam wasn’t going to start trading lives here.

But uh, Blanche might make that decision for them in a second here.

“Harlow,” Adam pleaded, knowing he couldn’t actually stop Blanche if she went full Jedi mode here. “We can’t fight her here like this. We’ll figure out another way.”

Out of the three voices begging Blanche to stop, Nadia was the only one she had enough sense to listen too. Cordelia’s telekinetic blast had her disoriented, and now she was staring, eyes wide at the disembodied Nadia with new found horror. And then Blanche realized just how angry she actually was. It wasn’t entirely their fault, Blanche wasn’t being fair and she was angry at herself too. Not to mention the lingering feeling of anger from the Winn situation… She ripped her gaze from Nadia, a cold glare on her face as she looked between Adam and Connor, too angry to even speak for a second.

“I told you.” Blanche’s tone almost didn’t sound like her own, it was cold as ice and shaking with fury. “Both of you. I told you this was a bad idea. That we should have thought about this! And now Nadia is like that -” Blanche pointed at the empty spot where Nadia stood. “- and Cordelia has gone full poltergeist! Her spirit has to be destroyed! I'm supposed to prevent that!! She could have moved on. She could have - And Nadia, she’s - She’s - And - And -” Her face turned red and splotchy in anger, her voice rising in pitch and volume, before she had to turn away because her eyes filled with tears. She was going to cry and she would be damned before she did that in front of them. Blanche looked at Nadia, her features softening.

“I’m taking the wards down from my apartment,” she announced, wiping her eyes in disgust. “Nadia, you can stay at my place until we get this sorted out - Until I figure out how to fix this, okay? It’s going to be okay. I'll figure it out, no matter what. I promise.”

Connor stood, staring at the poor ghost of a girl who wasn’t even dead. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. They remained on her, frozen and apologetic for what felt like minutes before Blanche’s exclamations drew him back in. He was replaying every syllable of the exorcism in his head, trying to figure out where he’d gone wrong. “I’m sorry,” he said, almost desperately. He hadn’t been an exorcist long enough for anything to go this wrong before, which was all the more proof that he’d been in over his head.

“It shouldn’t have happened like this. It was her! Cordelia, she did something. She… she messed it up.” He turned back to Nadia. “We’ll fix it, okay? I’m so… so sorry.” He needed to make it right. That Kaden guy was going to kill him. Maybe Blanche was going to kill him too. He’d wanted to help, to make sure she got her friend back, make everything normal again. Now, everything was way, way worse.

“Blanche, please,” Nadia said, trying to stop the arguments before they fully began. She watched her body disappear into the distance, leaving the rest of her behind. This was, truly, a nightmare, but she didn’t think that blaming anybody for what happened was going to fix things. “No one could have known that,” she looked down at herself, “this-- I mean, you can’t plan for this. I was-- Fuck, I was too fucking weak to even-- And now--” She looked at Connor, and she could tell he meant what he said, even if she couldn’t feel it. That was the strangest part of this, the absence of feeling anything beyond herself. “You couldn’t have known, and you tried to help me. Thank you. I’m serious. Thank you. At least you tried.” She didn’t know how this could be fixed, she realized. This was a lot worse than exorcising someone who’d been in control of a body for six years. This was putting someone else back in while taking another out at the same time.

When Blanche mentioned the wards in her apartment, Nadia’s eyes widened. “Like hell. Those protect you. Absolutely not.” If it was possible, she knew a knot would be forming in her throat, choking her. As it was, she just felt an overwhelming sense of panic. “You’re not doing that just because-- No. Alright? No.”

Adam had been in the supernatural world long enough to not ask questions when his friends suddenly started talking to empty air.

He coughed, clicking the shotgun’s safety back on. “Gonna bring the car around, we can load things but up in there,” Adam said before vanishing out one of the side doors.

Blanche shot Connor an icy look at his desperate apologies, not wanting to hear it. Adam left to go pull the damn car around, and Blanche was just happy her jeep was parked nearby and she didn’t have to suffer through an awkward ride back. She looked back at Nadia, shaking her head. “I’m taking the wards down temporarily. Once this is fixed, I’ll put them back up. But you should have somewhere safe to stay when you’re like this.” God, what was she going to tell Kaden. A lump rose in her throat then, her eyes burning. She blinked back tears, the anger diffusing into anguish as she refused to look at Connor. “Nadia?” Blanche said, quietly. “I’ll do anything to fix this, okay? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I let this happen.” Nadia trusted her. Blanche looked at Nadia’s spirit, blurry from tears threatening to spill over. She cleared her throat, before going to gather her supplies. “You can come back with me, okay?” Blanche looked over her shoulder. “And I can… help you figure things out.” Blanche glanced over at Connor, her look softer than it had been before. She opened her mouth, perhaps to say something helpful… But then she thought better of it, not trusting herself. “We have to get out of here before she comes back to finish us off.” Blanche said finally. “Let’s go.”

Connor stood in quiet disbelief as Nadia thanked him. Man, this sucked. It'd suck either way, but he could tell she was a good person. She was just so bloody appreciative of his failed attempt. So bloody appreciative that it almost made him want to scream. No, it's not okay, I let you down! Instead, he just stood and looked at her as if unsure whether to open his mouth or not. Eventually, he broke eye contact, nodding and looking down to the mess of chalk outlines and candles. "I should get this cleaned up."

Despite the fact that Blanche and Conner were the ones apologizing, Nadia felt like she should be saying sorry. She was the one that started all of this. It wasn’t on anyone but her that things went as sideways as they did. Somehow, once again, three people that should have never gotten involved in her problems were trying to clean up her mess, and it had failed spectacularly. That was on her. If Nadia had just been a bit stronger, if she’d fought a little harder. And now everything was fucked. “You shouldn’t be in the position to have to fix anything, Blanche,” she said quietly, bitterly, but she wasn’t going to push this. She looked at Adam’s retreating figure and then at Conner, “Please tell him I said thank you.” She moved to try and help pick something up before her hand simply passed through a candle. God, she was useless. She was dead, at least in a sense. Not a person with a body, just a bundle of feelings and thoughts and so many fucking feelings that couldn’t even pick up a candle. Unable to do anything, she just followed Blanche to her Jeep. She’d have to make sure that the younger girl put the wards back up if Nadia ever decided to leave. She wasn’t going to make a nuisance of herself, either. The last thing she wanted to do was end up haunting someone.

#let the right one in #chatzy: adam walker #chatzy: blanche harlow #chatzy: connor piers #not!nadia #:-----)

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delusionland · 3 years

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your last post about jason dying or wanting bruce to kill the joker; i have two questions for you: would jason be pissed and/or touched and/or something else if he found out that dick killed the joker and bruce had kate bring him back to life and do you have a reason as to why did bruce have kate bring the joker back to life?

ur hc about dick & jason pretty much mirrors my own, except for me i try to see it mainly thru jason’s perspective.

he’s a regular gotham kid who hears stories about robin. he wants to be robin so bad. robin is the coolest guy in the world. and then he gets adopted by batman and he gets to BE robin. ‘robin’ is not dick. ‘robin’ is something more, something batman takes and gives. it’s not dick’s family legacy, it’s not dick’s to give or take. robin is the supercool sidekick, whose actually cooler than batman ‘: P’ (picture baby jason with his tongue out like that lol)

so then dick comes in, and he’s jason’s older brother, and of course dick is nice to the kid, but also he’s angry at bruce? he’s angry at bruce bc bruce gave jason something jason was told he EARNED?

it sours his opinion on dick for a long while. he’s still reverent about his brother---but he has never felt like he earned dick’s respect. and also u have to remember, bruce was always comparing jason to dick. which makes jason put dick as robin on this untouchable pedestal---but their relationship is strained with bitterness is by definition one-sided bc dick as robin no longer exists and never will again?

so when dick kills the joker. it feels like a hand on the shoulder. it feels like someone in the batfamily is seeing jason, seeing babs, seeing harley, seeing all the people joker’s killed, and is saying ‘that was wrong.’ when dick kills the joker, he does so as nightwing---but he also does so as someone in the batfam who is Voted Most Likely To Become Batman, Probably (battle of the cowl was crazy tho lmfao).

i feel like. jason would want to get a non-alcoholic beer with dick after that. he doesn’t know how to feel about it, exactly. but it feels like for the first time---someone is trying to relate to him as he is, as a person, right now AND the pain he experienced as a child.

i also do have a reason bruce has kate bring the joker back.

it’s not a good reason.

i realized this while i was watching under the red hood.

batman honestly thinks he will become the joker if he kills the joker.

he is already a man in a costume, breaking people’s bones. bruce has so much empathy for every single person he fights. and yet, it feels good to hurt people, even as he later offers them jobs & money in wayne enterprises social programs.

bruce is afraid that his wry sense of humor, his genre savviness, his love of hurting people and dressing in a themeatic costume, his obsession with all these things, his gadgets that mirror the joker’s, his contigency plan full of ways to ‘stop’ his friends----

bruce thinks that killing the joker IS his one bad day, that leads to him, the batman, becoming a costumed villain that murders people indiscriminately for ANY percieved wrongdoing.

and i’m not talking about ‘bruce murders murderers.’

bruce believes he will murder fucking everyone. it’s slippery slope thinking. he thinks he will murder politicians, he thinks he will murder cops, he thinks he will murder henchmen who just need money to suppor their children, he thinks he will murder people he just doesn’t like, which includes, unfortunately, ALL his friends, ALL his family.

and he pictures... liking it.

the joker has unfortunately become the linchpin to his sanity. his litmus test. if he kills the joker, which he wants to do so badly, if he loses empathy for the joker, then he will kill everyone. but if he doesn’t kill the joker---then he’s still a good person : ) he hasn’t ‘crossed the line.’ even after all the shit he’s done to his family, turning them into child soldiers, making them just as crazy and obsessive as he is, he would never really ‘hurt them.’ bc he would never even cross the line with joker!

(this is, i’ve noticed, something abusers do a lot. i didn’t do that to you. quit whining. it could be so much worse. *i* could be so much worse.)

slippery slope thinking becomes circular thinking.

batman has to be a good person. he has to be right. if he isn’t a good person, and he isn’t right, then what was he doing all this for? he HAS to be justice. he HAS to be the protector of gotham city. if he’s not the protector of gotham city, little boys like bruce wayne will lose their parents. if he doesn’t train robins, then little boys like bruce wayne will never become batman and be able to protect gotham city and then little boys like bruce wayne will lose their parents.

'nothing has changed. nothing at all.’ that’s what bruce says after he SAVES the joker AND the red hood from dying.

‘stupid and careless.’ that’s what he says, twice, in a row, after he finds out jason’s not really dead.

everything is on bruce’s shoulders. everything has to be perfect. if everything isn’t perfect, if everything isn’t planned, if joker isn’t right where i put him last---then everything falls apart, and little boys like bruce wayne lose their parents.

bruce wayne is a deeply deranged man who is obsessed with life. prolonging life. keeping people alive. death haunts him. it’s the worst thing that can possibly happen. it’s the worst thing you can possibly do to another man.

he is haunted by an infinite amount of futures where his parents are still alive. if joker is dead, he is haunted by an infinite amount of futures where joker has turned his life around, and it is bruce’s FAULT he is dead and it is on BRUCE’S head that those futures no longer exist.

joker has to be alive. moreso, unfortunately, than his children.

he can’t exactly make a shrine to the JOKER in his batcave to stare at, now can he?

#abuse tw #yoakkemae

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elyvorg · 4 years

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While I’m here sharing AUs that “non-canonically” branch off from my chapter 5 protagonist-Kaito AU and end up doing things with Kaito’s character that I didn’t even think were possible, here’s one more completely different and even more heartbreaking one for the road.

What if the plan failed, and Shuichi did get executed?

This would happen if Kaito didn’t think things through and just blurted out that Shuichi’s in the Exisal the moment he realised it, then managed to make a convincing enough case for his hunch that everyone – including Monokuma – decided to trust it. And then they’d all realise in horror that if Shuichi’s alive then he’s got to be the culprit and they’re going to have to vote for him and get him executed.

However, I really don’t think this is that likely to be how things would go. In my “canon” version of the AU, Kaito gets a vague sense that he needs to figure things out better before telling anyone Shuichi’s in there, and he listens to it. At first I just wrote him having that sense because it felt right, but after some thought, I’ve concluded that this’d essentially be more of Kaito’s intuition at work. He already instinctively grasps the idea that if Shuichi is deceiving them then it’s for a good reason and he should play along with it, before he even consciously reasons any of it out to himself.

So, before things get heartwrenching, be reassured in the knowledge that this is extremely unlikely to be how things would happen. It is most definitely not remotely the more “canon” version of an AU where the single initial difference is who gets chosen for Kokichi’s plan.

The worst possible failure

As Shuichi explains why he killed Kokichi and what the plan would have achieved if he’d succeeded, Kaito realises with growing horror that, despite being the blackened, Shuichi was never supposed to be executed here. If the plan had worked – which it would have done if only Kaito had kept his mouth shut – Shuichi would have been safe. Shuichi is going to die and it’s all Kaito’s fault.

…I mean, it isn’t by any reasonable stretch of morality. Kaito couldn’t have been expected to know what was going on, and none of the students are ever meaningfully at fault for someone’s execution just because they uncovered their crime and voted for them, not when the game forces them to do that or die. But that wouldn’t stop Kaito from thoroughly blaming himself for the fact that Shuichi is about to be horribly killed.

This is also way worse than the equivalent situation in canon with Kaito’s execution, because Kaito was fully expecting the plan to fail and knew he’d die either way even if it didn’t, so he was as prepared for it as he could ever be. But with Shuichi taking part in the plan, it had a very good chance of succeeding, and Shuichi knew it. He wouldn’t have become a murderer and risked his life if it hadn’t. He knew there was always a chance he might die, but he was expecting to live. It has to be terrifying for him to be suddenly facing his death like this after all.

Faced with Shuichi’s imminent execution, seeing how scared Shuichi is even though he’s trying to be brave, Kaito would furiously try to fight to prevent it with everything he has. He’d be more than happy to completely throw his life away doing so (he’s going to die anyway, he doesn’t matter next to Shuichi…!). But Shuichi’s desperate pleas for him to stop coupled with the fact that they’ve been in this position too many times before would make it all too clear to Kaito just how completely powerless he is to change anything. You can’t fight Exisals without weapons (weapons they don’t have right now), and Monokuma will never let a blackened escape punishment, nor somebody else take their place.

Even Kaito literally getting himself killed fighting for it – and he would, even if he wasn’t already dying, he really would, he’d die a thousand times over if it meant Shuichi could get out of this alive – it won’t save Shuichi. Absolutely nothing he does will save Shuichi now, and he knows it—

—but no, that can’t be right, there has to be something he can do, there has to be something, this can’t be it, because—

—he can’t die failing Shuichi like this!

and with those words, Kaito’s voice just breaks, and though he’s not looking Shuichi in the eye, Shuichi can see that he’s crying…

…and it suddenly hits Shuichi all in one go just how much Kaito’s been suffering in silence this whole time.

He really was always dying; he’s always been so scared of dying, scared of dying a failure – and something about the agony in Kaito’s voice tells Shuichi that it’s not just about his “failure” here in this trial, but that he’s somehow always felt he’s been failing him. Why…? For how long…? Is that why he avoided him after Gonta’s trial? He must have been feeling so horribly trapped and helpless – why didn’t he just talk to Shuichi about it? Why would Kaito of all people have been carrying a burden that heavy all alone?

Meanwhile, Kaito has completely lost all semblance of control, screaming with desperate, helpless rage even though he knows it can’t and won’t change anything. It should have been him! It should have been him that Kokichi chose for his stupid plan, because then when Kaito messed it up – and of course he’d have messed it up, he always messes everything up – it wouldn’t matter that he’d be executed, because he’s going to die anyway, because he’d deserve it for being such a useless pathetic failure of a hero.

(at some point during this his screams of fury burn themselves out, because nothing can distract him from pain this unbearable for long, and he just degenerates into helpless, broken sobbing.)

The worst possible breakdown

Kaito completely openly breaking down like this in front of everyone, expressing every bit of the pain he’s been bottling up without having even remotely come to believe that it’s okay to do so… this is something I’d never quite thought was possible, really. Usually Kaito is so, so stubborn about suppressing his own pain and continuing to pretend to be Completely Fine so that he can keep encouraging the people around him even a little – but when Shuichi’s going to die, how the hell would that even help? And he’s failing Shuichi even more right now by being this much of a disgraceful broken mess in front of him – but that doesn’t matter, not when Shuichi’s about to die because of him, not when Shuichi’s always been the real hero and surely must have always known how pathetic and useless Kaito was (right)?

…What I’m saying here is that, welp, I guess I’ve found another scenario that would achieve my eternal goal of Kaito’s sidekicks realising how much he’s suffering and therefore potentially being able to help him. This might just be the most heartbreaking possible way for this to happen… and also rather too heartbreakingly late.

And it has to be Shuichi’s imminent execution for this to work. Shuichi simply having been the victim in this case, or in any case for that matter, wouldn’t quite work the same way. If that had happened, Shuichi being already dead would make it undeniable that there’s nothing Kaito can do about it and all that’s left is to try not to fall apart going forward. He’d still be in agony, but he’d be determined to keep himself together somehow.

But here, when there’s nothing Kaito can do to stop Shuichi being killed, and yet it hasn’t happened yet – it gives him a desperate, completely irrational sense that if he just explodes with all of the unbearable, overwhelming reasons why he doesn’t want this to happen, then maybe it somehow just… won’t?

(It’s that same kind of sentiment that led Maki to express her romantic feelings for Kaito in canon when she’d probably never have done otherwise, even though she must have known on a rational level that it was never going to stop him dying. Her feelings and wants and pain matter and deserve to be expressed! – and so do Kaito’s, and it’s so heartbreaking that it’d take something this painful for either of them to realise it on their own.)

It being Maki’s imminent execution instead also wouldn’t be quite as bad for Kaito. It’d still be agonising to be unable to save one of his sidekicks, but it’s worse if it’s Shuichi. That’s not because Kaito cares more about Shuichi than Maki, but rather because he has so much baggage about feeling inferior to Shuichi and feeling like he’s failed Shuichi in particular, and all of that would come flooding out to break the dam in a way it wouldn’t quite do if Maki were the one who was about to die.

Maybe it’s not too late

Realising in these final moments just how much Kaito’s been suffering this whole time, and how much he’s going to keep suffering and die in agony if he keeps feeling this way, Shuichi would suddenly and overwhelmingly want nothing more than to help him however he can before the end. He’d reassure Kaito, as firmly as possible, trying to make sure Kaito realises that he’s saying this not just to make him feel better but because it’s the truth, that he’d never felt like Kaito had failed him at all. It’s thanks to Kaito that Shuichi could have all of the strength he’s been able to show this whole time, and he’s so grateful for everything, and it’s not Kaito’s fault that things are ending this way.

Shuichi’s words manage to somewhat shine a light into the dark pit of self-loathing that Kaito’s fallen into – but even so, this is all so backwards. Can Shuichi really mean all that stuff about how Kaito inspired him? Because he’s the one who’s being a hero to Kaito, even right now when he’s about to die—

--but that’s only because Shuichi learned it from Kaito, and from Kaede, too. He’s so scared, but he’s trying so hard to be strong because it’s the only thing left he can do. It’s what Kaede did, and Shuichi knows it’s what Kaito would do here too if the roles were reversed, and he’s drawing all of his strength from that. He’s only a hero because of them.

“Kaito, listen. I need you to do one last thing for me.”

“Y-You need…?”

“You never gave up on me, or Maki, or anyone else. So, promise me… you won’t give up on you.”

Kaito’s sick, but there’s no proof it’s incurable – so maybe there’s still a chance he can make it, if they escape and get him to a hospital in time.

“The impossible is possible, right? All you gotta do is make it so. I believe in you. And, please… don’t bear the burden all by yourself.”

Kaito stares in astonishment at hearing his own words from Shuichi, and at realising how much he needed to hear all of that right now.

Shuichi smiles at him one last time through his own tears. “See? I told you I learned it from you.”

After Shuichi’s death, it’s still far too awfully likely that Kaito would just die from his illness a day later anyway, pointlessly, hating himself, not even able to keep his promise. But, no; I refuse to allow that.

So, while the students would never be able to do a trial 6 without Shuichi, well… they don’t actually need to in order to escape. All they need to do is break down the wall. If it’s really not an apocalypse out there, then they’ll see it for themselves when they leave.

Kaito is resilient as hell – not falling into despair, no matter what, is practically his superpower. This would be agony for him, but it wouldn’t break him completely. That final promise he made to Shuichi would be just enough for him to cling to and keep himself going. There’s got to be something he can do to keep that promise. …There is something.

Shaken with grief, probably holding onto Maki for support – he isn’t even sure what to think any more about what kind of a hero this makes him look like, but at least she’s still here – Kaito turns to Keebo. With no room for argument, he demands that Keebo puts his goddamn weapons on right now and gets them out of here. They all don’t want to lose anyone else, right? Not even him.

Kaito won’t let Shuichi down.

The totally-cheating happy ending

Alternatively, if you want to imagine this with a happier ending than that – which I very much do, because even one ending in which one of this trio dies is plenty and it breaks my heart to imagine others – then… well, the only way to really do so in this situation is to cheat. So how about we pretend this was actually happening in a VR AU all along! An AU in which the whole killing game was virtual reality and everyone wakes up alive afterwards is the perfect way to keep all of the emotional trauma but none of the permanent death, which is exactly what I’d like to do here.

So please enjoy imagining Kaito and Shuichi, after all that pain and anguish, waking up from the simulation to find themselves and more importantly each other alive and safe, and just clinging to each other and sobbing in desperate relief. (They are friends.)

(As some bonus irony, this being in a VR AU would mean that Monokuma definitely always knew the culprit anyway because of his admin powers over the simulation. So despite how badly he blamed himself for it, Kaito was never even slightly responsible for the plan failing.)

Once they’ve got over that initial emotional tidal wave of simply being alive, Shuichi wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about Kaito’s breakdown in the simulation and the reasons behind it. Even if Kaito pathetically tried to paper over it and pretend it didn’t happen and insist he’s Fine now that they’re all safe, Shuichi would know. He’d be sure that this is bound to still be haunting Kaito in some way, and he’d refuse to let his friend keep suffering and carrying his burdens alone like this.

Luckily, Kaito made it clear enough during his breakdown that the root cause of it was feeling like he’d failed, so Shuichi and Maki would hopefully be able to figure out from there that it’s for this same reason that he keeps trying to insist he’s totally fine now. That’d be exactly the starting point they need to tell Kaito that he’s not failing them by suffering and needing support too and he doesn’t ever have to be afraid of that. One way or another, they’d be able to talk him into letting them help him at last.

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa v3 spoilers #kaito momota #shuichi saihara #friends #kaito's hero issues #writing #v3 aus #hello my name is elyvorg and my hobbies include wrenching my own heart out

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ngame989 · 5 years

Text

“Drive” - TGG SVTFOE Fanfic Collection Ch. 8

Writing: @ngame989

Art: @toxicpsychox

Editing: @ubercelloczar, @toxicpsychox, @seddm

Alternate fic links - FFnet, AO3

Summary: It's back to school for Marco, and Star is left to face the specter of real world responsibility once more - with a bit of help from the adorable antics of Mariposa.

Comic Page

Masterpost

Finally, a new chapter! This one took a long time to put together in a way I was satisfied with, so sorry as always for the delay. Writing is a bit of a secondary hobby for me, and while I absolutely love Starco and love making this series, the actual act of putting words to a page is rather draining for me. I'd love to promise more or faster updates, and if the right creative inspirations strike that is still what I'd love to happen, but it's gonna come at whatever pace it comes at. If that means I'm here for years to come, so be it. See below for the text, hope you enjoy!

“Alright, next up is Wilhelm… Wund? Want? Wouldn’t? Marco, this name is weird.” Star waved the flash card around in the air.

“Wundt, but the Ws both sound like Vs. It’s German.”

“German… that’s the place where that guy who was basically mustache Mina came from, right?” Marco froze in his tracks as his eyes widened in complete incredulity. Star uncurled from the ball she was in on their bed and sat up, hair and nightgown all astray as she tilted her head to the side in befuddlement. “What, did I say something wrong?”

“No, that’s- it’s just- that’s one way to put it. Don’t worry about it.” No way he was touching that subject with a mile-long pole.

She crossed her arms proudly. “See, I did remember something from school, then! OK, so Wundt, what’d he do?”

“What didn’t he do? He basically invented psychology! Before him, everyone just kind of thought about thinking, but he was the first one to really study it with any sort of scientific method.” The first week of school had been going fairly well, Marco thought, but it was certainly busy. Maybe it was the fact that this was his first classroom education in two whole years, but it was way faster paced than anything he remembered. All the reading he’d done to prepare before the school year started helped, sure, but it was a sizable effort to keep on top of everything.

“Mhmm, I see.” Star tentatively raised her hand, nodding thoughtfully to his every word. “Tell me about his glasses.”

“What?”

“The glasses? For seeing someone’s problems really clearly? Come on, Marco, it wasn’t that hard to figure out. I bet they were ginormous.”

A few giggles escaped his lips and Star puffed her cheeks up in indignation. “No, Star, that’s not how glasses work. They just sorta- they make you look smarter, I guess?”

Star stuck her tongue out and pinched her fingers together to form two circles, aiming her hands carefully to position them over Marco’s eyes. “Nope, you seem just as smart without them. Anyway, let’s see here, next up is Pavlov.”

“Oh, you’ll love him. He studied stuff with his dogs.”

As if on cue, some of the laser puppies scrambled out from under the bed, jumping into Star and Marco’s arms. Star’s shout of “PUPPIES!” sounded like background noise behind the licking and panting invading his personal space, but it was a welcome change. With how big their yard was now, their pets were often gone for so long at a time that Marco felt like he barely saw them anymore, but they had a way of showing up randomly at oddly convenient times. Despite being laserless since magic had been destroyed, whatever dog breed the wand had concocted seemed to stay just as small and cute forever. Barko Diaz stayed in Marco’s arms while Star cuddled the rest and cooed over them one by one. “Anyway, his dogs drooled whenever food was placed in their mouths; that’s just the natural response. But Pavlov noticed that if he just held the food in front of them before feeding it to them, after a while they’d start to drool whenever they saw the food. That’s how he invented the name conditional reflex.”

“I, Star Butterfly, officially vote for puppy guy as the best- Sajak, hahaha, stop it!” The dogs pounced on her face and she fell backwards onto the sheets. “Marco, help! I’m being swallowed by a fur-ocious tidal wave! Get your jammies on and join the fun!”

Marco rolled his eyes as he pulled off his shirt and pants. Top drawer… nothing. Middle? Nope. Still only in his underwear, he quickly rummaged through both their sets of drawers in search of his usual blue pajamas to no avail. A frustrated groan rumbled in his throat as he bent over to check underneath the drawers.

“That’s it, mama like,” he could hear Star murmuring. He quickly glanced behind him to find… Star sitting up, his pajamas in hand. “Staaaaar,” his voice and brain both exasperatedly grumbled. Though he’d figured out that his own sense of sexuality was grounded in emotional intimacy more than anything, they’d still become quite comfortable with each other and themselves physically; normally he wouldn’t complain in the slightest about the attention, but he still had a job to do.

“Ooooone more second,” she drawled out while her half-lidded baby blues roamed his body.

“Alright, Star, let’s just pick one more card, OK? I need to make sure I’m ready for tomorrow.”

“Fiiiiine. The last one is… Freud. I’m probably saying that wrong, too. Wait a second, Janna talked about him once, after I told her about that psychology stuff we did years ago. She said he’d be really good at figuring out my mom issu-”

“Not the same thing. Come on, Janna…” Marco grumbled. Leave it to Janna to give the worst possible introduction to academic psychology. “Alright, that’s enough of that,” he stated decisively and snatched all the index cards out from under paws and tails before crawling onto the edge of the bed.

“Yay! Now scooty that booty, you cutie patootie!” Star gently cleared the space between them and the puppies all left the room except for Marco Jr. It wasn’t the best dog name, but it was at least better than it would’ve been for his sibling.

He propped himself up on his elbow and fluffed his pillow. “I’m honored to do my duty.”

“Hehe, you said doodie.” Before he’d even fully settled into his usual spot, Star had already climbed halfway on top of him and settled her head on his chest, prompting him to embrace her. Marco smiled and planted a soft, lingering kiss on her neck. Sometimes it was too warm, too cramped, and she’d strangle his limbs hard enough that it took him 10 extra minutes to stand up in the morning; despite all that, he couldn’t be happier to snuggle every night away.

“I-I know it’s been crazy this past week, so thanks for helping with this, even though you hate school.”

“Hey, I don’t hate it. I just don’t like classes, tests, homework, and having to ask to use the bathroom...” She paused and blinked a few times. “OK, maybe I do hate school.”

“If it makes you feel any better, in college you can just go whenever you need to.”

“You know, that actually kinda does. Anyway, learning can be fun, and you’re a good teacher. Keep it up and in a few years maybe I’ll have a secondhand degree,” she snickered. Her fingers started to fidget with his hands while her toes tangled themselves up in his pant legs. “Sorry I was so distracted. I guess it’s finally sinking in that you’re gonna be doing this for years and years and now I’m the one with no clue what I want to do. Sucks a little bit to think about.”

“Doesn’t mean we’re not still gonna be a team, but it- yeah, that kinda does suck. Maybe we can try looking through some more options, if you want? I know you didn’t like any programs at the college, but I’m sure there’s all kinds of jobs or volunteer work around town. We could-”

She squirmed in his grasp, tilting her head downwards and away from his. “Marco… I don’t know, I just really don’t think I’m even in a place where I can just point at something and say, ‘yep, that sounds like a great job to sign up for!’ Maybe I’m just not ready for that yet.”

It always saddened him when she had this little faith in herself because he knew firsthand how capable she was of the most amazing things. Whatever he could do to help get her self-confidence back and live up to her potential, he would. He brought his hand closer to her face, stroking her cheek gently - though not before clumsily misjudging distance and poking her in the mouth, which elicited a snort of laughter. “OK, whatever feels right. Besides, it’s not like I know what I want to do with my entire life right now either. We’ll figure it out whenever you’re ready. In the meantime, there’s a new season of Dude’s Food Feuds and a plate of nachos with our names on it this weekend! “Plus, I heard Mom and Dad say they might spend part of this weekend at Eclipsa’s…” he trailed off, nuzzling into her neck and pulling her closer.

She twisted herself to look at him as best as she could. “Oh yeah?” Her eyebrows wiggled suggestively.

“Yeaaaaaaahn.” His attempt to continue being flirty was foiled by a giant yawn, indicating once and for all that it was time to sleep, and her laugh at his expense was stifled by her own yawn indicating she was in the same position. “Let’s get some shuteye, I’ve got another early morning tomorrow. Night, Star.”

“Night, Marco.” After a good-night peck Star turned herself around and they resumed their embrace. Less than a minute later, slumber claimed him.

***

“Dangit, Tom, again? You’ve gotta be free to chill at some point!” Angie folded the corner of the poetry collection she was perusing and looked up at Star who had her phone sprawled across their couch. “But I wouldn’t even mind doing kingdom junk. It’s better than another day on the couch by myself!” With her free hand, Star absentmindedly dangled around a spare doll of Marco in the princess outfit, which a starry-eyed Mariposa was stumbling around on the floor trying to catch. “So I’m not ‘physically capable of sticking my arms into lava tar’, I don’t see what that has to do with-” Even from the other end of the phone, Angie could still pick up on the mounting frustration in the demon prince’s tone. Star suddenly sharply inhaled and took a moment before responding. “Sure, maaaaybe it would have something to do with clearing a toxic hellgae infestation from the depths of the lava tar pits. Ugh, fine, you’re right. Can I at least see you next week, then?” Only a split second went by before Star sat up suddenly. “JANNA? Hello? Dangit,” she groaned while tossing her phone to the other end of the couch.

“Is everything alright, Star?”

Star crossed her arms and huffed. “Tom’s super busy with Underworld stuff, and I guess Janna’s there too for some reason even though humans really shouldn’t be able to handle any of it. Ponyhead has some kinda interview with some production company or something, Eclipsa and my parents are on vacation, and even Ferguson and Alfonzo are too busy to hang out!” She flopped facedown into one of the cushions; her final cry of “stupid school” was barely intelligible.

Mariposa giggled and yanked the doll from Star’s now-limp hand. “Mago! Mago!” Mariposa babbled while waddling around. Her little foot got caught on the fabric of the doll’s dress, and like a tiny giant she slowly toppled to the ground. Angie moved to help her daughter, who let go of the doll to grasp for her mother’s hand. “Mama!” It had been only a few weeks since Mariposa began to put together words with any regularity, and she’d already taken a fierce liking to calling for her parents and brother.

“Mariposa, I’m trying to be grumpy here and that’s really hard when the cutest thing in the universe is talking about the other cutest thing in the universe, and that includes the entire Puppybunny Dimension!”

Suddenly, an idea came to Angie. “Why don’t you come with me to the community college and help watch Mariposa? I’ve missed spending time with her this week but I couldn’t take care of her all day, plus it’d be good to get her out of the house.”

“Marco said he was really busy today, though,” Star pouted.

“Well, then I guess it’ll just have to be a girls’ day. What do you say, Mariposa? Do you want to go with mommy and Star to school?”

She clapped her hands cheerfully. “Gool!”

“Who am I kidding, I can’t say no to you,” Star cooed, pinching the toddler’s cheeks. “So when are we going?”

“I have office hours in an hour, so the sooner the better. Come out to the car whenever you’re ready.”

“Just gotta get my purse!” Star bounded across the living room and up the stairs quickly enough that her voice trailed off even at full volume. Angie smirked as she went about gathering her usual toddler travel supplies. While all the reasons she’d given for their trip today were true, she had an ulterior motive. It was pretty obvious that Star was in a funk from life catching up to them, and a change of pace never hurt. Well, that, and Star drives everyone a bit crazy with nothing to do at home. Seriously, who knew one girl could spill so many gallons of pancake batter all over the counter in a day?

Once she had everything, she headed out to the faithful family minivan and strapped Mariposa into her carseat, tossing in her small satchel for work and the much larger bag of baby supplies. Right as she finished, she heard the front door shut and lock behind her as Star made her way to the car. “Can I take Mariposa around the college today? Marco’s baby carrier fits like a glove.” Star quickly strapped it on, tightened it, and did a little twirl before taking it back off and climbing into the backseat.

While Angie was driving, she barely had any ability to check how the girls were doing in the backseat - there’d been so much construction on the Earthni road system that she could never trust the routes she was used to - but there were little glimpses of Mariposa being enthralled with Star’s playful antics. Star’s classic yellow smiling star purse swung like a pendulum for Mariposa to catch and they both cheered when she finally succeeded. Before she even knew it, they arrived at the Echo Creek Commewnity College, which had expanded dramatically in both size and architectural diversity as a result of the Cleaving. Most places in town (and throughout the world, so she’d heard) had merged in ways that left individual communities intact, but for whatever reason the college campus had become completely intertwined with a Mewman campground. It was certainly more of a spectacle than the once-modest town college and did wonders for getting both halves of the Earthni community involved.

Star marveled at the seamlessly blended hybrid buildings and scenery while Mariposa did much the same with her own thumbs. Nondescript brick buildings mingled with medieval wood and stone and the occasional ornate decorations, which is why the quad had a marble dragon standing proud among the trees. “Woah, is that a cornball and football field at the same time?”

“That’s a good question. Honestly, I’m still not used to all the changes myself,” Angie laughed. “A few months ago I tried to use the swamp water machine for my coffee. I had lily pads in my teeth for days.” While they were walking, Mariposa had become noticeably fixated on Star. Her dress, her hair, her hands, anything that was available to gawk at and grasp was fair game.

“She’s such a wonderful little tot, isn’t she?” Angie asked as they stepped into the cool air of Bonner Hall. She walked slowly towards her office while Star flitted around poking at every plant in the hallway.

“Yeah. So much calmer than Meteora. Remember the birthday incident?” Angie lightly chuckled in response; how could anyone not remember that? It wasn’t every day that a one year old just spontaneously grew a full head of hair and then got her tail hopelessly caught in it at another one year old’s birthday party.

Once they’d arrived at her office, she pulled out her key and opened the door to invite Star in. “Bienvenue! I’m teaching Intro to French Literature this semester, so I’ve got this whole theme going on.” Quotes and pictures of authors hung all around the room alongside some images of major landmarks and a little French flag sat on her desk next to a miniature statue of the Eiffel Tower. Angie helped Star unstrap Mariposa and set her down on the floor where she began waddling and crawling around.

Star sat on the edge of Angie’s desk kicking her feet back and forth, careful to avoid the toddler. “Soooooooo… what’s the plan for today?”

“You’re more than welcome to stick around but if office hours get too hectic it may get pretty cramped in here.” She’d have liked to do more with a larger space, but given how infrequently other community college faculty even got offices to themselves it was a blessing to even have this. “Although I have to teach later so you won’t be able to get back into this room if you leave after that.”

“Marco’s not free until, like, 6, so…” She trailed off dejectedly. The vibrant enthusiasm that Star normally exuded was still lacking. Hmm, this might be more serious than I thought.

Angie gently laid a hand on Star’s shoulder until those big blue eyes finally met her own. “Star, honey, it’ll be fine. I know it can be hard not being able to spend all your time with someone anymore.”

The headband on Star’s head shifted and almost fell off from how hard she was tugging and frazzling her own hair absentmindedly, “It’s not that… well, it’s not just that. Everyone else is starting their big life dreams now, you know? Marco wants to be a psycho therapist or something, Tom’s actually kinda happy about being a prince for once, and even Janna seems like she’s figuring it out in her weird Jannaniganish way! I have no idea what I want to do! Even went through a big ole’ list of ideas with Marco and they all just seemed blegh.” Star threw her hands up in frustration before curling back into herself more than before. “And I want to find something too, you know? Ugh, where’s Mr. Candle when you need him...”

The words resonated very strongly with Angie but it was difficult to put into words. She backed away from Star, her gaze darting around the room until she had a realization. “Have I ever told you the story about my summer in France?”

“Don’t think so.”

“When I was about your age, I wanted to get away for a while, so I packed up all my things and went to France for a whole summer. The food, the music, the history… everything was better there. For months after I came home I tried desperately to hold on to all of that after it was over, and I still cherish that experience, but it was just a fun handful of weeks that I spent someplace else and it was better that I just dealt with the fact that it was over. But,” she forcefully interjected when Star raised an eyebrow in protest at the seemingly antithetical point being made, “I know now that it’s not a universally ideal handling of such events. All the excitement of the last few years made me think about that… people might sort these things out for themselves in very different ways.”

“Like how Jackie literally spent a summer in France too, but she and Chlóe are still together long distance.”

“Mhmm, I could see that.”

“Or how Ponyhead started wearing a prosthetic tail for a while after staying with Seahorse’s family.”

“Hang on, what-”

“Don’t ask.” Never a dull moment.

“Or what about when-”

Alright, I’ll just have to get to the point myself. “I was mainly thinking about Marco, Star. I told him this same story before he left for Mewni, and honestly, I didn’t know how important it was to him. But he grew into such a confident and capable young man there and I couldn’t be prouder.” Angie softly took both of Star’s cheeks into her hands. “Star, you’re a wonderful, caring, smart young woman. So what if you’re not following every step at the same time as your friends? Everyone goes through these sorts of crises at some point or another, but what’s important is that you take the time to make the decision that’s right for you.” Star’s gaze sunk to the ground while the gears in her mind were so obviously turning that they might as well have been visible and Angie gave her some space in turn. “So, with all that said, what are you thinking now?”

Star crossed her arms and furrowed her brow. “Even if I’m not rushing to figure everything out, I don’t want to just do nothing until I magically find my lifelong dream. And I know Marco and I aren’t gonna literally live the same lives; heck, I don’t want to do all his school junk anyway, but… whatever I end up doing, I still want it to be together. That’s why I left for Earth,” she finished with her voice dropping to a solemn whisper.

“Didn’t he do the exact same thing? You don’t need me to tell you that you two are something absolutely special. I may not know what all is going through his head, what mother of a teenage boy does, but I know he’d do anything for you, Star.”

Nodding more to herself than to Angie, Star took a deep breath before speaking. “Thanks, Mrs. Diaz.”

“You can call me Angie, if you’d like. Or Angelica, or maybe ‘The Coolest Mom in Town.’ I’m not picky,” she said with a smirk.

After a short pause, Star hopped off the desk and wrapped Angie in a bear hug so deceptively strong that it knocked the wind out of her, but she still managed to reciprocate. “Thanks… Angie.” A rumbling sound interrupted the moment. “Heh, well, seems like I’m also thinking about lunch.”

“That’s an excellent idea. Why don’t we-” The digital clock on the desk caught her attention. “Dammit, office hours already started a few minutes ago. Don’t think I’ll have time for a while. But there’s plenty of places around here to eat, and a few of them are actually good!” she chuckled. Just as she mentally ran through some places in the student union, a thought struck her. “Say, Star… there’s a lot of clubs and events and such that are open to non-students too. Maybe it’d be worth looking into some of them? It’d be something to do, you and Marco would be closer, and I could even drive you some days if you needed. Why don’t you take Mariposa with you and explore for a while? She seems pretty restless today.”

Taking a few deep breaths to center herself, Star nodded her head. “Yeah, that’s a good idea! Heck, it’d be good just to know my way around for any time I visit Marco anyway.” She bent down and beckoned for Mariposa, who’d been ogling a bronze baguette for some time now. Once the carrier was locked and loaded with a docile toddler and some of her supplies once more, Star skipped out of the office. Angie’s time alone, however, was cut short when a student skidded in and immediately started nervously rambling about homework questions and grading policies and the works of François Villon. Back to teacher mode. Angie afforded herself one last glance through the door at her young daughter gleefully riding along with the girl who might as well be her other daughter. Rafael had mentioned to Angie on more than a few occasions that Star and Marco reminded him of themselves in their youth, and Angie had agreed at the time but now she wasn’t so sure. Her teenage - and even young adult - years with Rafael, while wonderful, had been filled with many bouts of uncertainty and it’d taken them many, many years to get it right once and for all.

But Star and Marco? As far as she was concerned, they already had.

***

Boring classroom… Boring classroom… Boring restroom… Hey, wait a minute, is that a cornshake machine? A few minutes, a few dollars, and one cornshake (plus a sippy kid size) later, Star found herself not much better than she’d been when she set off an hour ago, but the surprisingly high quality of the vended drink did bolster her spirits. She resisted the urge to call Marco because it’d be waaaay more fun to surprise him later. And also because he might still be in class, that too. A tall rock creature walked in front of her, interrupting her thoughts, and she saw a nervous expression on his face as he feebly tried not to disrupt foot traffic too much. Looking around, she was a bit surprised to see just how much the cultures of her own world had been brought to the forefront and blended in despite humans comprising the majority of people she’d seen on campus. Some people who she guessed were Mewmans by their dress glanced back for a bit longer than most but otherwise went about their day without a fuss. Two guys, one human and one Septarian, were laughing and holding hands on a bench. All in all the atmosphere reminded her of high school, but was freer in a way that didn’t discomfort her as much as she’d anticipated.

A few of the passersby looked her way as she wandered, and one or two even said hi to her - not that uncommon, given that it was public knowledge that she and Marco were responsible for the Cleaving, though Eclipsa had tactfully phrased it as a consequence of the two working together to destroy magic - but it was just as likely that Mariposa was the one attracting attention for a multitude of reasons. She knew she shouldn’t have expected it, but part of her was disappointed that after going through four whole bustling buildings she hadn’t run into Marco, or even anyone she knew. Glum and tired, she was about to abandon her pursuits when a huge bulletin board around the corner caught her eye. As she jogged over to it, her hopes came true: it was a giant wall advertising all the clubs and events on campus for the start of the year.

Her eyes roved the board up and down, left and right scanning for anything that seemed interesting or had some sort of meeting today. There were some fliers that Star dismissed right away, including a woodworking workshop series, a community choir, a sketchy-looking “how to date a demon” seminar. The last one might have at least been good for a laugh, but it had a note scribbled on it that attendance was maxed out already. She noted some sort of upcoming school dance for all local teens, but it was months away and the poster was uninspiring since the theme was still listed as TBD. It made sense that most extracurricular activities didn’t happen in the middle of a school day, but she still frowned at how few options seemed available and potentially interesting. Once she’d perused the entire wall and selected those that were, she set out on her mission to find her purpose.

“You ready, Mariposa?”

“Gool!”

Chess Club

“Rook to G3.” Star’s opponent, whose nametag said Fred, positioned the black castle piece ahead of most of his pack.

“King to-” Her tongue stuck out as she concentrated on the board layout instructions, trying to find her place. “King to E3!”

“Um, first of all, the king piece is not allowed to move more than one square at a time. Second, since it is the most important piece, the singular goal of the game is to keep yours alive while defeating the enemy’s. Therefore it is ludicrously ill-advised to position your king into such immediate danger, and in most cases would automatically lose you the match” Star’s opponent responded matter-of-factly.

Star scratched her head in puzzlement, replacing the piece. “Why is the king so slow? My dad was literally a king and he can run at highway speeds.”

“Perhaps the Mewman traditions are different, but the Earthly ways of the monarchy are enshrined in a-

“Alright, whatever. Then I have my Queen ride the horse into combat! No, wait, can it be a warnicorn instead?” She ripped off a corner of the scoring sheet and deftly curled it into a cone before placing it on the top of the plastic figure with a satisfied grin.

“Although an intriguing concept, there is no precedent in the ancient tradition of the sport for-” Mariposa interrupted her tirade by kicking the edge of the table, which knocked over Fred’s black king. See, now this was the sort of thing she could see herself getting into!

“Checkmate!” Star shouted with a wide grin, one decidedly not mirrored by her opponent or any of the onlookers.

Cornball Tryouts

“Well, Mariposa, that was a bust. But cornball is a Mewni thing, so I’m gonna super nail it this time!” Star set Mariposa down and removed her from the baby carrier. “Stay right here, you little angel,” she cooed before jogging over to the group of hopefuls discussing strategy. “Hiya everyone!”

One of the girls who resembled a fox waved in welcome. “Sup, I’m Bleck, I was the Monster Cornball League’s ace stickler for a few years.”

“And I’m Jason, I was Mewni Cornball Alliance’s forward maizeman.”

Star shook both their hands. Did something seem familiar about them? “I’m-”

“Star Butterfly, we know,” Bleck responded. “You set up that integrated game on Mewni. Sorry about that, by the way. We were the captains and it, um, kinda got out of hand.” Ah, so that’s why Star recognized them.

“Yeah, that was our bad.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck shamefully with one hand with his other on Bleck’s shoulder. “I’ll be honest, this whole ‘monsters and Mewmans and Earth Mewmans all together’ thing is still new to me, but don’t wanna let some petty grudges get in the way of some good old fashioned cornball. These Earthers are crazy competitive, we’ll need the best team we can to have a chance of even making regionals.

“Speaking of which,” another Mewman spoke up warily. “Does anyone know anything about that new teenage husker that already made captain? CB Nation says she’s already poised to be hotter than Jispy Jenkins.”

“I heard she’s the reason the Cassidy bros quit moat guarding.”

“Well I heard she averaged 50 shucks per game in her rookie season.”

A hush fell over the group; as much as Star loved the sport she never really followed it, but it was still clear just how good this mystery player was.

“I think that’s her…” one of the monsters said, pointing at a shadow emerging from the clubhouse. “Oh corn, hold me!” He fainted on the spot.

“Star? Star!!!!!!!!” It was hard to make out details against the glaring sunlight, but there was a webbed hand waving at her. Wait, was that-

“KATRINA!” Star dashed as fast as her legs could carry her to meet her friend who was doing the same. Katrina scooped her up in a big slimy hug. “You’re so big now!” The girl was now taller than Star, with a stocky build, but her big sparkly eyes still had every bit of youthful wonder that she remembered. Given how much of a powerhouse Buff Frog was, Star could only imagine the athletic potential his kids could have.

“Yeah, I’m starting ECCC this year! I got a full ride scholarship as team captain! Sorry I haven’t been talking to you as much lately… I’ve been so busy working towards this, it’s a dream come true!” Katrina set her down and glanced over towards the sidelines. “Is that Mariposa over there! Hi, baby! Wow, humans age really slowly. You and Marco better not take too long getting your own kid, Auntie Katrina still wants to still be spry enough to play with ‘em.”

Star’s face heated up. “I- Katrina, you- We aren’t-” She stammered incoherently. This was going to take some getting used to.

“C’mon, Star, I’m kiddiiiiiing. I’m already four, I’m not a kid anymore. Anyway, are you here for the team? That’s so cool! You’re always so great at everything, you’ll definitely make the team.” She finally turned to the rest of the attendees to begin the session. “Alright, welcome to the ECCC cornball tryouts, I’m really happy you’re all here! Let’s go over some logistics. Practice is five days a week in the evenings until the league begins on Dartuk 30. That’s the 26th of September for all the Earth people here. We’ll have two regular matches each week and will be travelling most weekends. If we want to show who the real cornballers are, I’m going to need your complete dedication to this squad! School’s important too, but otherwise this will be your life while you’re on my team, so let’s talk drills-”

With each passing sentence, Star’s anxiously fidgeted more and more. It was… intense, more than she’d ever expected. She was ecstatic that Katrina was finding so much success and joy doing this and felt her heart swell with pride as the crowd hooted and hollered in support, but was this really what she wanted most for herself? While Star was zoned out, Katrina had apparently wrapped up her speech and everyone else had already dispersed. Katrina took Star’s hands and shook them up and down excitedly. “Are you as pumped as I am?”

“Yeeeeeeaaaaaah…” Star hesitantly cheered, casting a nervous glance back at Mariposa who now was booping Star’s purse repeatedly with her nose. “About that…”

Driver’s Ed

Maybe I should just learn to drive so I can visit Marco myself, Star pouted. “I could get us a pair of matching cool car driver sunglasses, so we can be rad Earth style,” Star whispered to Mariposa while Miss Skullnick (who was apparently working at the college now, and was human again) finished going over her slides.

“And that’s the introduction for this seminar series on automobile safety. Any questions?”

Star raised her hand and Skullnick sighed heavily before calling on her. “Is there a way I can start driving next week?”

“Get out!”

***

“Today sucked,” Star gloomily groaned. She was curled up sideways on a bench in one of the open quads while Mariposa was using her stomach as a pillow for her late afternoon nap, tuckered out after a recent diaper change. “I mean, it was so cool to see Katrina again, and in a weird way I almost missed Skullzy too, but I’m still completely stuck. But hey, at least I got to spend a day with you.” Star gently stroked Mariposa’s soft brown hair. Now that she thought about it, getting to spend hours a day with the adorable tot was one of the only consistently rewarding parts of the past week, it seemed. Even Meteora’s shenanigans were heartwarming in their own way, namely one that involved way more property damage. Her eyelids drooped shut, heavy with the weight of everything on her mind.

She couldn’t have been out for more than a minute when a child’s voice startled her. “Hello? Are you sleeping?” Was that Mariposa? No, it couldn’t have been, her mind concluded as she exited her half-conscious delirium. A small monster child, no older than the human equivalent of four or five with some features of an elephant, tugged on the sleeve of her dress with tears in his eyes. “I’m scared.”

Star rubbed her eyes and gathered everything into one corner of the bench so she could make room for the child. “What’s wrong, little guy? I’m Star.”

“My- my name’s Trevor but Mom and Dad call me Trev. I was playing on the slides but then everyone was gone,” Trevor began sobbing pitifully.

“OK, it’s OK. Let’s take a deeeeeeep breath, OK? Like this.” She inhaled as much air as she could, puffing up her cheeks and chest before blowing all of it out with an exaggerated flair. The boy nodded and took a small breath. “Again!” Star repeated, and he followed, back and forth until he had calmed down and was grinning at her absurdly over-the-top routine. “Feeling better?”

“A little.”

“How about we play a game? I’ll say one word, and you say whatever word comes to your mind. Ready?” He sniffled once, but nodded.

“Candy.”

“Tasty.”

“Dancing.”

“Fun.”

“Snuffleupagus.”

He cracked up a bit at that and she grinned back at him. “Silly.”

“School.”

“Sad.”

“Why does that make you sad?”

“My brother’s busy at school here all day now, so he has daycare watch me instead. My group was at the playground and Felipe bet I couldn’t go on the big slide so I did but I got stuck and when I got out, everyone was gone.”

“You poor thing,” Star responded. “I know how you feel. Tell ya what, let’s go try to find them together!”

“Can- can we stay here?” Her heart broke at how obviously terrified he was of the situation and the prospect of any more unfamiliarity wasn’t something he was ready to deal with at all.

“For a little bit, but then we really should get you back to the daycare.”

“OK,” he said somberly. “Who’s that?” He pointed at Mariposa who was crawling in circles around the bench.

“Oh, this is Mariposa! She’s my boyfriend’s sister.”

“What’s a boyfriend?”

Of all the conversations Star thought she might have today, this was far from one of them. “It’s like… boyfriend and girlfriend are like what a mom and dad are before they become a mom and dad.”

“My Uncle Matt is Mom’s brother but Dad calls him brother too. Does that mean she’s your sister too?”

Star met Mariposa’s eyes for a moment. It was weird to think about, but… was Trevor even wrong? She’d been living with the Diazes for almost all of Mariposa’s life, after all. There wasn’t a clear definitive answer in Star’s mind, but she needed one to sate the boy’s unending curiosity. “Yeah, I guess she is.”

“Cool! My big brother’s awesome. I miss when we used to play all the time. You’re really cool, too.”

“Thanks. I know change can be scary, but I’m sure your brother misses you a lot too. Sometimes big kids and grown-ups have to do grown-up things for a while, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love being your brother.”

A few voices echoed in the distance; once they were close enough for Star to make out the words, she realized they were calling Trevor’s name. “Over here!” she shouted back in their general direction. A large elephant monster with ripped jeans and ear piercings ran as fast as he could and gave Trevor a tight hug. “Hey, Trev, buddy, where’d you go? We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“It’s OK, Star took care of me.” It came out muffled from how his face was still buried in his brother’s arms.

“Woah, wait- Star? Like, the Rebel Princess Star Butterfly?”

“That’s me. Or was me,” she shrugged.

“I was your biggest fan for years! Remember the cave hideout? Don’t think I introduced myself then, I’m Geoff.”

“Oooooh yeah, you were with the ‘alternative monsters’! How have you been?”

“Pretty dope. Once that wicked Cleaving thing happened, we found a bunch of humans just like us! Being alternative is just, like, normal now. They even sell clothes with all the holes in them already so you don’t have to do any work! It’s nice to just get to be myself now, and I don’t think I’d ever get to do that without everything you did. You’re the best, Star. And thanks for taking care of lil’ Trev here. C’mon, buddy, let’s get you home.”

Trevor hopped up on his brother’s shoulders for a piggy back ride and waved. “Bye, Star! Bye Mariposa!”

“You must be a miracle worker with the kids,” the human man who had run up with Geoff finally spoke up. He had a thick beard and glasses and wore a red flannel shirt and jeans. “I’m Antonio, by the way, I run the ECCC Child Care Center. We just call it the Six Cs.”

“Nice to meet you,” Star responded. “I just did what anyone would, really.”

“No, you definitely made Trevor’s week. He just joined on Monday and he cries almost all the time from missing his family. We see that a lot, but it’s definitely hitting him harder than most, going from being at home all the time to being with a bunch of strangers for hours a day.”

Star unconsciously turned away and rubbed her arm. “Yeah, I… I know the feeling.” She shook it off and turned back towards him. “So, what happened with Trevor?”

“One of the girls got a splinter on the playground. Everyone was busy trying to keep her calm when we left the playground that we skipped headcount. I called Geoff right away, he was very understanding. It’s no excuse, but we’re way too short on people right now with all the new students.” His attention suddenly pivoted to Mariposa who was reaching up to grab at the fabric of his shirt. “This is Angie Diaz’s kid, no? May I?”

“Yeah,” Star dumbfoundedly responded after a moment’s hesitation. “You know her?”

Antonio hefted Mariposa up like she weighed nothing and gently rocked Mariposa back and forth in his burly arms. “Her older son, Marco, used to come here every now and then. Heard through the grapevine not too long ago that she had another kid, I asked if she’d be coming to the Six Cs but she said she already had someone at home. I take it I’m talking to her?”

Star’s eyes widened. Angie had said that? She was the only one who didn’t have plans most days, so… it had to be her. “Marco’s my boyfriend. I was their foreign exchange student for a year, then he came to live with me on Mewni for a year, and then… well, you’ve probably heard about how the Cleaving happened.”

“Afraid not, I don’t keep up with the news much these days. I just try to take care of all the kiddos as best I can, doesn’t much matter to me what goes on with the world. So what brings you to this humble campus?”

“Well, Marco’s going to school here now and I don’t have much else to do, so... yeah.”

“Ah.” His deep voice was laden with sympathy, and with that one word Star felt like he immediately understood her turmoil. “Well, if you’re ever looking for something to do, we could use someone like you on the team.”

“Really?”

“You’ve clearly got a big heart and a keen eye for how to take care of the younguns, that’s more than enough in my eyes. This one’s been staring at you almost since we started talking, she clearly trusts you more than you may know.” Huh, he was right; even while being rocked gently into slumber, Mariposa’s warm brown gaze remained firmly on Star’s face. “Well, I should get back to the staff. No rush if you’re unsure, but you can come with me to meet the crew before they leave for the night if you want.” He set Mariposa back down on the bench while Star reassembled the baby carrier and got Mariposa settled back in.

Star couldn’t say she was any clearer now on a life goal, but maybe that wasn’t what she needed right now. Looking back on the day and week thus far, even the most exceptionally crummy day in recent memory could be salvaged by Mariposa alone, so why should she be worried about more of that? Though she hadn’t really thought of herself as Mariposa’s caretaker until just a few minutes ago, her breath hitched with pride at the notion.

When she finally answered Antonio’s question, it was the least unsure she’d felt in a while.

***

Done. Finally. Marco swiftly stuffed his assignments into the binder in his backpack and hustled out the door of the student union. Cramming all his homework into one day had drained him, but it was worth it so he and Star could have the whole weekend to themselves. He liked all the things about school that Star hated, sure, but his life had changed so much and so many times that he worried he wasn’t even cut out for it anymore. ‘B’ on the pop quiz, really Diaz? The rational part of his brain knew it was fine, but the Marco of old was disappointed. He’d aced the questions he’d studied with Star, at least, so maybe the Marco of old wasn’t the one to follow.

Nachos, ever the talented dragoncycle, had founded a part-time rideshare service in the town and was busy tonight, so Marco navigated his way to his mom’s office for a ride home. “Hey Mom, hey Star, h- wait, Star?”

“Marcomarcomarcomarcomarco!” Star excitedly leapt into his arms with a barrage of cheek kisses and a crushing embrace.

“Missed you too, Star,” he chuckled, kissing her on the forehead in return before backing away to take off his backpack and slump into a chair. “What are you doing here?”

She sat sideways in his lap, hooking her arms around his neck. “Surprising you, goofhead!”

He closed his eyes for a moment and drank in her affection, letting it wash away his fatigue. “Well, color me surprised. Really glad you’re here.”

“Long day? Did you defeat the quizzards?”

“Yeah, and for the third time, it was just a regular quiz and not evil mystical quizzards giving me riddles. Besides, don’t they have a game show now?”

“Totally, totally, totally… I knew that.”

“I just kinda miss you, Star. It hasn’t been the same going all day without seeing you. I guess the last few years have made me realize I don’t want to be wherever you aren’t.”

“So cheesy,” Star cooed while pinching his cheek. His mom and Star exchanged excited glances. “But don’t worry about that anymore, Diaz, because I’ll be here now too!”

“Hubbawha?” Marco blurted out.

“Star’s going to volunteer for the Six Cs and take care of Mariposa there.”

She stood up and walked over to Mariposa, poking her nose just as she came out of a nap. “Yep, and they said I can make a schedule around yours so we can dragonpool to school and have lunch together or whatever! Plus I get to spend time with my other favorite person in the whole wide world.”

Mariposa fully opened her eyes and stared vacantly at Star for a second before smiling wide. “Ta.”

Star stopped in her tracks. “Wait, is she saying-”

“Tar. Tar. Tar!” Mariposa bobbed up and down on the desk, clearly as overjoyed about her words as everyone else was. Tears welled up in Star’s sapphire eyes as she leaned down to gently snuggle Mariposa. Marco walked over to join her and caught his mom absolutely beaming with as much pride as he’d ever seen her have. The wholesome moment was interrupted as his little sister, not content to stop, kept rambling on. “Tar! Mago! Tago! Tago!”

“Not you too!” Star sputtered out, still choked with emotion, and Marco couldn’t help but laugh.

And later that evening, after the four had gotten dinner and piled into the Diaz van for the trip home, Marco looked over to see that Star had fallen asleep on the other side of Mariposa’s carseat. He took her hand in his, yawning as he realized a nap wasn’t such a bad idea. Just before succumbing to the day, he swore he heard a soft, squeaky murmuring from the toddler next to him.

“Sihtah.”

#starco #svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #fanfic #tgg svtfoe

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tslasvegas · 3 years

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Episode 10: “I ain't gettin fooled a third time.” - Jeff

Darn it. That vote hurt. I mean it's a game, and there's only one winner, but Steph and I had a great time the last time we played, and we played well here too. But our Final 2 tag hurt us. I mean, yes, we had that agreement, but it hurt us. I had to vote her, as there was no other way forward. Even if I used my Steal a Vote, it would not have been enough. Good thing Kailyn spoke up after the vote, so they know it was her who voted with Steph and not me. Hopefully that lessens me as a target. How does Ben have so many advantages. He will be out to win immunity next for sure.

I am actually really sad that we voted Stephanie out. I think there were better options but I guess it had to happen. It’s interesting that is spread so rapidly to everyone else in the game. I didn’t speak to really anyone and yet everyone knew what was happening. There’s definitely some connections going on that I’m unaware of. But also! One step closer to making it to single digits! I just have to survive two more tribals and I’m officially a flop no more! With the Super Idol, technically I can be “voted out” once before leaving the game, if Liv still decides to play it on me. So I’m feeling pretty good about my chances moving forward. The meninist group is a solid 5 I think. That’s almost half the tribe remaining. At this point, I really don’t think there’s a path for me to actually win the game. Unless I take control and start some big moves right away. But we will see.

Okay so it's been a while, and there's a lot to unpack. Merging: In regards to the merge itself, I have very mixed feelings about how the people in the merge are, and how things generally shook out in regards to the tribe divisions. Getting sent in with an instant 7-3-3 should, in normal circumstances, be pretty damning in how an early merge goes. People have a tendency to play safe, lay low, and just ride out the game a little bit before really going for anything. As far as the people we merged with that I had not met yet: Jaiden - Really cool guy, I spend all day talking to him, shooting the shit, just having a good time. Easily top 3 people this season for me. I want to go far with him. Xavier - Kinda neutral on him. I speak to him sometimes, but the conversations do not really have much in the way of depth to him. John - Meh. Doesn't speak a ton, just kind of minding his own business. Kailyn - Doesn't speak to me much at all. We've exchanged a couple of messages, but nothing too substantial. Whatever I guess. Ben - Literally refuses to speak to me. Not sure what his deal is or why he acts the way he does, but whatever I guess. So as a basic assessment, pre F13 tribal, the people I feel best about are Jake, Jaiden, Keegan, and Joey. These are the ones that I should be able to trust, that should be able to get me farther into the game. I feel with this that I'm in a better spot than I was in my previous 2 seasons, because I seem to have alleviated the issue of only having real connections to people on "my side". In Svalbard I was very isolated with Nathan/Rachael/John, and got burnt because the rest didn't want to play with me anymore. In Finland, it felt like more of a dice roll really, but I never got going with Tom/Drew/Bodhi/Zoe, so I was the first to get burnt because my connections just weren't good enough. But now, I should have the means to protect myself on both sides, and make it farther based on that. First tribal comes around, Palazzo has numbers, things should be simple. Ben doesn't talk to people, no one has a problem if he were to get sent home. Easy enough. Andrew makes people a bit wary, but its first tribal, he's not causing any particular harm, and we can deal with that issue later. But then Andrew slips up, he tells Jake that Keegan is the one pushing his name. I'm not sure why he did this, but he did. I confirm with Jake that it was actually Andrew that threw his name out first, but Keegan and I shifted it on to Ben. Whatever, mess is made, but no one says anything, vote should still be Ben. Get to tribal.... Andrew, 9-4. Not one, not two, but three people flip on us at the first tribal, sending Andrew home, and blindsiding myself, Pat, and Stephanie. With this, we're clearly on the outs, and Keegan/Liv/Joey blatantly lied to us. We confront them about it. Get some stories of, "weren't sure how people were feeling, didn't want anything to go wrong with the vote. Andrew was causing problems". Like yeah, okay, I know that that happened, but I had already expressed to both Keegan and Joey that I had strong reservations about how Andrew was approaching the game, and didn't want to have him be in long. I didn't think he's go right away, but clearly I was alright with the idea, yet they let me out. Fool me once, shame on you. Next time, okay votes gonna be simple. No one likes Ben, he doesn't talk to anyone, he just ignores me, he's gonna go home. Fine, everyone's happy. Well of course, we get to tribal, and he plays SWOP. I knew something was up, the way he was acting just wasn't right. Andrew said he was a good player, and I knew something was up when he was just giving up and having needless outbursts. Not the type of play that you'd expect from a "good player". So okay, we go back to OG Palazzo chat. Everyone says "lets vote John". Okay fine. Pat and I get to talking, because we're both close with Jaiden and Jake, and entertain the idea of voting Steph. Figure that we can get ahead of the curve because Palazzo is a mess, set ourselves up for the future. Pat can't change his vote cause he already casted, oops. I vote and play an extra vote because I thought a tie could be risked because I can't count. Vote goes 10-2 on Steph. Yet again, Joey, Keegan, and Liv opted to not say a word about anything to Pat and I. They don't care about us. They expect us to just do what they say, go along with whatever story they tell us before bed, but I ain't havin it anymore. Fool me twice, shame on me. I ain't gettin fooled a third time. These fuckers ain't gonna walk all over us and act like we ain't actual players. If they don't want to work with us, tell us anything, then I don't need them. I'll go with Jaiden and Jake, who are much more fun to talk to anyway, and curbstomp all of them. People already took Rachael from me, I ain't lettin them get any more W's on me.

Stephanie is gone! I can't believe I made it through that cracked ass tribal council, but I used the limited information Ben was providing to me to my advantage. The moment Ben told me what was going on, I swooped to Keegan and John and told them to prepare for the worst - tbh I thought he was going to have an idol or something and we would need to throw votes elsewhere. I think Keegan was the one who said he thought Ben's got a safety without power from his statements and it made so much sense to me. When it came time to scramble, obviously I didn't wanna be the first person to throw a name out there, but once the opportunity presented itself I tossed Stephanie's name out and it basically caught on like wildfire. I told Joey first, then the Meninist alliance chat. There definitely was some push back at first from Keegan, which I'll get to in a bit, as well as I think Livingston a little bit. Then it just caught on FIRE. Suddenly Stephanie's name was going through everything it felt like and every single person was down for Stephanie. For a minute there was a brief insurgence of John names, but I think me throwing Stephanie's name out first was the best thing to happen because once a name was out there, it basically ignited the power keg and there was no way to stop it. I think it could've gone the other way had John's name gone out first tbh... It is just such a relief to have some sort of affirmation that my targets are going home. I feel a lot stronger now than ever before, almost like allowing Andrew to go over Ben last round is giving me an edge like I've never had before. Tbh as much as I dislike Ben as a player, I do kinda hate this circlejerk kind of group hate for the guy because I don't think he's done anything so bad that it makes him a bad person... maybe not the kind of guy I'd associate with in real life... but I'm sure he's chill outside of this. I also don't wanna come across like on this moral high ground where I'm better than anybody because I definitely talk a lot of shit about everyone else, but as somebody who was in the same shoes as him once, I can empathize with how it feels right now. I can empathize because when I played Tumblr Survivor starting out I definitely was really messy for the fun of it and it slowly started to become un-fun when everyone made it their mission to kinda be shitty to me. I don't know what Ben's goal is here and I'm not a specialist trying to diagnose him, but... yeah. I just feel bad that he's being dogpiled by all of us with hateful attitudes is all. ANYWAYS, back to something that matters - me! I finally survived the dreaded second tribal council of the merge. I've already beaten that part from India, now I just need to make it past the next two votes and I've made it to my first goal - single digits!! I know that I'm competing with a lot of people for single digits right now lol but I hope that people wise up and start taking care of the real threats in the game, namely Livingston, John, Kailyn, and Joey. Getting a dark round, I think this is the best thing we could've asked for because like I said before, I think Keegan was holding himself back from really pushing his agenda. I think Keegan is aware how big of a threat John is in these games, so if I can sort of use Keegan's mistrust in John against him, I might be able to swing for a much bigger target this coming round - Livingston. I kinda feel like Livingston is REALLY well-connected on this tribe, he's basically best friends with everyone from Jake to Joey to Keegan to Pat. If I want to free some of those bigger names up, I really need to go for Livingston because his position is SO desirable right now. I think people are cognizant to the danger posed by those four guys, but no one is really looking at Livingston because they love him so much. If I can somehow convince John that getting rid of Livingston benefits both of us, I might take that shot. It's going to come at a huge fucking risk though, but doesn't everything when you're playing in the dark have a big risk associated with it? Then it just kinda takes getting Ben, Kailyn, and Xavier on my side as well and then the shot is literally so close I can taste it. HOWEVER! Before I start hyping myself up right now, I have to focus on what really matters to me - getting to the end. Resume building doesn't need to start at the final eleven. My biggest error in all of my past Tumblr Survivor games is that I start playing the game REALLY hard way too early. I've learned maybe a couple lessons in subtlety along the way, so planting seeds is gonna need to be the way to go. If I start saying things like, "isn't Livingston so cool? He's basically friends with everyone" and "I would like to see Livingston win if I'm not in the end, he's a really cool guy" it'll 1) be super obvious that I want to make a move against him and 2) maybe start giving people the idea that their best friend is their biggest competition in the end. Something doesn't need to happen tomorrow. It's about the long game, too. I just hope for my sake that I'm doing enough to keep my head above water. If tonight was proof of anything, it's that this game is going to get a lot more difficult.

I can't believe that worked so perfectly. Ben does everything I tell him to do, even down to interrupting me during the challenge. He's public enemy #1, and that's another meat shield for me. Stephanie goes - truthfully I feel horrible because she is so sweet - but that's the last person who I wasn't directly aligned with. Also, the Dark Round couldn't have come at a better time. If Ben or I win immunity, I have a plan to get out another big threat. And this is one of my favorite flash games. But at this point I need to act like Ben and I aren't tight. If I make it to the end everyone is gonna hate me. Oof.

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